#was it anger? was it boredom?

[lillianzoey69]

Single & unhappy but smiling

Keep me in touch

[mirrorobsidian]

Having ASPD you are riddled with chronic anger and boredom.

When it comes to anger, I can become angry over something major or minor, what I have done in the past or what another has done today and this anger can last for a few minutes or weeks on end

When it comes to boredom, it can be your usual boredom when it feels there is nothing to do or it can be an intense boredom where you are with a group, all hanging out and you find yourself bored to death. This also can last either for a few minutes or weeks on end

Both are primary emotions and scenarios that plague my life on a daily basis. I'm either equated to- not being fun or a buzz killer, or equated to being a raging abuser however when another, not with ASPD or even any of the other Cluster Bs, they are met with sympathies, support, encouragement, and resources to help as I with a disorder in which I feel this anger and boredom chronically, I am left dealing with it alone and the only escape I feel and know is turning to what destroys lives- substances, gambling, brawls(mutual combat is legal where I reside), etc....

It's truly unfair others are able to just snap out of anger and boredom, receive resources and understandings

[hood-ex]

Bruce telling Dick, "Don't let me hurt anyone," before proceeding to hurt Dick is SOOO...

[taxonomicons]

There is something so uniquely tragic about Colin Robinson in the sense that all the other vampires are clearly products of their upbringing, and their rich past is usually a primary motivating factor for their character. But Colin’s upbringing essentially never happened and he will never remember it- he is intentionally designed to be untethered to the world. Unknown.

[mad-hunts]

y'all know that feeling where you forgot a detail about your oc (because barton basically is my oc at this point LOL) and then it comes back at the most freaking random time to haunt you? because that is pretty much what just happened to me and it's uhhh. i wasn't sure whether barton's mental state could get any worse, but it seems i was wrong. trigger warning for self-harm under the cut.

so, i think i have talked about this before concerning barton's sociopathic nature, but if there is one thing that people with ASPD experience: it's this chronic feeling of emptiness within them that makes it hard for them to enjoy a lot of thing's. and this, combined with the fact that they can't easily connect with other people due to the fact that they're lacking in empathy... well, it's particularly relevant to barton because he has literally hurt himself before just to feel something.

but barton just acts like nothing is wrong a majority of the time if you see him with bandages on his arms. because he truly does feel a blend of not knowing how to ask for help, as well as thinking that he doesn't need people pitying him, though wanting to help someone who is mentally unwell is usually done out of concern — but barton just doesn't think that way for whatever reason. like, he does have a different perception / a warped perception of reality compared to other people, though he figures that it'd probably be best if he just dealt with it alone. because if even he doesn't know how to voice how desperate barton feels sometimes to get away from the emptiness, then he believes that no one would understand enough to help him, anyway.

and i think he still does it sometimes because barton is just genuinely so depressed that even when he gets something he thinks he wants about 50 percent of the time, it turns out that no, he actually doesn't want it - and he's constantly seeking out stimulation because barton's sense of boredom is like a beast in the way that it almost never seems to go away. because once he learns about something new, sure... it's cool for a little while, but then this new thing he's learned tarnishes and loses its luster, so-to-speak. so it's no longer appealing for him to do + it makes high-risk / thrill seeking thing's like drinking, gambling, egging people on intentionally (especially if they're dangerous), etc. even not seem satisfying sometimes.

[sillybutterflies]

It’s what you call 'the boredom' 💜 #InsideOut2

[aaghht]

man. poland really TRULY got robbed this year. im sorry but i genuinely thought maybe i was just biased towards metal music (i am) but i see everyone else reacting the same way so: wtf polish jury!!! 

this song is so good! especially live! both his vocals and presence on stage are amazing and this could have made it into the top 3 easily, at least... by people’s vote. it’s ironic because the song is basically about corruption and the entertainment industry as a singer. i mean, i guess winning doesnät matter, but it just feels really strange and unfair this song didnt rep poland.  i cannot even remember blanka’s solo and in my mind i keep replacing it with the unicorn song instead.

[jpaula002]

criei os personagens de divertidamente, forma que os imagino na vida real

eu tentei fazer o vergonha e a tristeza mais volumosos mas a ia so saber fazer pessoas magras ;(

[ancientgreekyuri]

Since Nerine and Prof. Sycamore work in the same city they've definitely at least acquainted with one another... definitely not close at all though. He probably finds her a bit scary </3

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

[nilsklippstein]

Relationship challenges

Please share and reblog, it would be nice to get as many votes here as possible. 😍

[darkestrellar]

Svern is capable of both inflicting harm and of killing without any remorse; by default, he doesn't experience guilt or other emotional reactions that many would in those situations, good or bad. He also does not enjoy inflicting harm, generally speaking. As much as he likes to push and pull others emotionally, watching someone in physical pain doesn't tend to bring him joy. It's almost unremarkable to him. So he doesn't cause physical harm just for the sake of it.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

I would make some pvc swords so we can have a goofy ass duel and still be able to leave bruises and welts.

Ah, but you see that skips the entire underlying reason of using violence as an excuse for skin to skin contact

[byfulcrums]

I just saw a fanfic that had the Ahsoka/Anakin sibling trope but they kept on calling each other ‘bro’ and ‘sis�� and I'm so angry now

[vo1dd]

i hate being needy so i don't express any need and expect them to just know what i need and end up frustrated and upset because they don't know what i need. immediately see it as a sign that they don't care and won't make any effort. and then the idea of making them work for the relationship eats me alive because it feels selfish as hell. but i can't help it so im just completely miserable on my own, and they probably don't even notice it because we don't talk much anymore. great work, me

[neon-slime]

one of my least favorite things about my brain is how interesting i find everything but how boring i find everything

i'm interested and curious about the world but my interest doesn't provide enough dopamine for me to be able to follow through with deep learning/doing

and i hate it because the part of me that is curious and interested is yearning for stimulation and knowledge and embodied practice but for some reason that desire doesn't win over the boredom

and i'm mad because i was told if you act on your interests, you'd be engaged and if you weren't engaged, you probably don't actually like it. i know now that isn't true and doesn't account for most neurotypes. but i feel lied to and i'm mad that i struggle to do things that i actually want to do

and i'm so so tired of fighting my brain. i'm so tired of trying to figure out what is due to my mental illness and what is due to my neurotype and what is due to my trauma and what is due to my childhood and

does

it

even

matter