#was gonna schedule this but i need this to be out and about in the world right now
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
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i am deeply frightened and frustrated and need to talk about my physical health for a bit
all throughout this year, i have been struggling with digestion and other gastrointestinal health issues. i got my gallbladder removed a few months ago, which helped tremendously to reduce the amounts of pain i was in, and it helped decrease my nausea by a lot. however, i had a colonoscopy done that showed that i have diverticulosis, which are bulging pockets in the walls of one's intestines. these pockets can cause all kinds of problems, they can get inflamed and infected super easily due to old waste not cycling out of the body correctly
nothing was done about it. the doctor never talked to me to tell me if they were infected or inflamed or not. i was told nothing and sent home. for the past year, i have been having debilitating GI issues. i can barely eat food anymore. nearly every time i eat, no matter what it is, i either become nauseated, or end up having to run to the bathroom shortly afterwards. whenever i have to use the bathroom i come out of it feeling weak, exhausted and sick. the pain in my stomach and intestines has been unbearable.
a few nights ago, i ate some bread the food bank gave me, and it caused me so much lower gut pain that i couldn't move or do much of anything. the amount of foods i can safely consume without becoming sick is slowly becoming less and less. it's to the point where i'm just genuinely scared to eat anymore. i don't really know what to do about it. i feel hysterical, like i'm gonna crack and break into thousands of pieces
i have an appointment scheduled with a good medical group, but the soonest they were able to get me into their GI department for an appointment is May of 2025. if i'm struggling this hard to eat now, i have no idea what's going to happen in the next 5 months. i'm so tired of having to worry constantly before every bite of food i eat if i'm going to become sick and spend my entire day in the bathroom.
i hate the american medical system so much. i hate how gross i feel all the time and that there's nothing i can do about it. its getting to the point where i might go to the ER again. i don't really know what else to do, i still can't eat food. i got my gallbladder removed, but i still can't eat. that was only part of the problem. i hate that the rest of it was just completely ignored. if i'm constantly complaining about lower GI symptoms and i have diverticulosis, there's a good chance that is the reason why my lower gut is so miserable. but just ignore it, i'm fat, so it doesn't matter if i can't eat. i'm sure they think it's good for me to eat less. fucking christ.
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backseatsoldier · 21 hours ago
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"Broken", Not Stupid - 2
Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unusual omega!OC
CW: Omegaverse; cult-like situation; dehumanization
Author's Note: My gorl, @lostintransist, needed more so I'm gonna write more.
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"I'm so sorry, sir, but we don't allow full face coverings on the property," the beta female worker - Jenny, according to her name tag - informs Simon.
"I'm not wandering around without a mask of some kind," he grumbles in response. When the woman doesn't back down, but keeps smiling weirdly up at him, he sighs and rolls his shoulders. "Fine," he conceeds.
Without another word, he turns while fishing a black surgical mask from his hoodie pocket. He swaps his balaclava for the surgical mask as quickly as he can then turns back around to face her. Jenny looks ready to protest again when another beta worker - male this time - rests his hand on her shoulder.
"I'll take it from here, Jen. Go check on the omegas in the medical wing. New arrivals," he smiles warmly at her and nods.
Jenny's smile falters for a moment but it returns and she nods then walks off.
"Nice to meet you, mate. I'm Frank. Welcome to Salvation's Whitestable location. What can we do for you?"
After going through the legalities and paperwork, Simon was able to set up an appointment to meet the omegas in the facility. The soonest they were willing to schedule such was the following week. Something about not wanting to "overload the omegas since so many are curious about them and want to take them in."
It made sense on the surface, but it didn't settle quite right with Simon. Nothing he could truly do about it, though, so he signed what was needed and waited until the agreed upon day.
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It'd been about a week since we'd had any visitors - which tracks, by my timing, since it seems we only get them about once a week. I find visitors annoying as all hell. They're just alphas sniffing around for a desperate omega anyway. Most of the omegas who leave are likely better off in this hell hole anyway.
At least while omegas here their needs are respected. For the most part.
When we're called out to the yard for "fresh air", I knew it was just visitors. They have us on a strict routine and don't let anyone see us inside. Claim it's too dangerous, too many places to hide and find trouble.
It's a nice day, I guess. Not super cloudy and definitely not raining, sun's out even if it gets tucked behind the clouds once in a while.
Gods, I can already smell the alphas.
My nose wrinkles and I toss an annoyed look towards the gates where the alphas are waiting for entrance. When the gate opens I roll my eyes and look away, focusing on the book in my hands instead.
"Why don't you ever engage with them?" a voice whispers from over my shoulder.
"I'm busy, 1211," I tell the younger omega flatly without looking up.
"But the alphas are here. A few of us might get to find a mate today," she exclaims excitedly before something catches her attention and she darts off.
I sigh softly and close my book. She'll likely leave today, being so close to her heat. It makes her more desirable, even if she's still loopy as hell. I pity her, honestly. This place may be weird, but at least it's known and familiar.
Well... it is for me. I've been here since they opened this facility. If I'm calculating correctly, I've been here for a full year as of today. Most omegas are out in one to two months.
"Any reason why you're camped out under a tree and not... interacting with literally anyone else?"
I jump at the sound of the man's voice and my book falls from my hands. Before I can react and save my book from the ground, a gloved hand shoots out and grabs it.
"Didn't mean to startle you," he says as he walks to stand in front of me.
My book gets turned in his hands and I slowly follow his hands up to his partially covered face. Jesus, how tall is this guy? I'm tall for an omega but this guy might as well be a damn tree! He's even as wide as one.
"Tolkien, huh?" he asks as he hands my book back.
I stay quiet but nod and accept my book. No way in hell he's not one of the alpha visitors - never seen a beta built like this - but I can't smell him.
"Not a talker?"
"Not really," I finally say.
His eyebrows twitch upward for a moment before returning to the neutral expression he's been wearing since he stepped in front of me. Probably wasn't expecting me to be American.
"Me either," he says after a moment. "Probably why I'm here, huh?"
I give him a look of confusion at that.
"I don't socialize much so I'm- nevermind," he sighs. "Mind if I stay here for a bit? There's just too much going on elsewhere right now."
"Isn't that why you're here? To find a high energy, cuddly, and loving omega?" I ask dryly. "I know a few of the girls would be ecstatic to go home with an alpha like you."
"Yeah... maybe. Until they realize what my job is and just how often I'm away from home because of it," he scoffs.
"And what is your job?" My eyes narrow as he speaks.
"I'm military," he says simply. When I don't respond, he sighs. "I'm gone a lot. Many missions require minimum or no communication. There's no rushing home from work or random phone calls."
I glare up at him, considering what he's saying. Then it hits me and I start laughing.
"Oh, man! You're a decent actor, I'll give you that. How much did they pay you? Is this a script they gave you or did you just come up with this on the fly? Bonus points for doing it on the fly, if so. I knew they were itching to get rid of me, but damn-"
"The hell are you on about? I'm not an actor."
The genuine offense in his voice makes my laughter fade.
"You weren't paid to tell the 'stupid omega who can't figure out she's an omega' that you have a lifestyle that she would fit into nicely?" My arms cross over my chest and I give him a look of disbelief.
Rage seems to filter into his eyes for a moment.
"Simon," he says, offering his hand.
My eyes fall to his hand and I hesitantly accept it.
"Nice to meet you, I guess, Simon," I test his name. "I'm known as UK-009-0013 or 13 around here."
And never anything else.
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Masterlist | Part 1
Tag list: @lucienofthelakes
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buckleyanddiaz · 3 days ago
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Snippet for the same Buckley Diaz family spec fic
He doesn't find out till three weeks later. He doesn't find out because anyone intended for him to find out either.
"You had a shift today?" he asks, squinting a little at the table he was supposed to have assembled an hour ago. He was pretty sure it hadn't been wonky when they had disassembled it back in L.A.
Buck would have figured out what was wrong in minutes, he thought and felt the flare of the same burn in his chest he had been feeling ever since he had left.
Eddie swallowed once and rubbed at his sternum absently as he tried pressing down on the table with his other hand.
"No? We finally got a 48 off" Hen's voice filtered through the phone he'd put on the kitchen island. He could hear Mara in the background, something about a chicken and a turkey. "Ravi is the only one who took the extra shift"
"He's really saving up for the next building, huh?" Eddie chuckled a little and heard Hen snort, "I'm surprised Buck isn't dragging him off to another hike."
"Hike?"
"Yeah? Is it something else now?" Eddie gave up on the table and walked around back to the kitchen, frowning at his phone for a second, "The way Buck's scheduling them, they'd be done with all the trails in L.A by next month."
And that wasn't something Eddie could overthink, really. He didn't have a say in how Buck dealt with change. They were already tender from the tension they'd left things off with when Eddie had left. If Ravi was keeping Buck company, Eddie was glad. He trusted Ravi.
With Buck? a voice questioned in his head and Eddie pushed that back down quick.
"Buck's been hiking?" Hen sounded baffled and Eddie paused halfway through turning the microwave on.
"With Ravi, yeah"
"Eddie," and Eddie knew that voice, he had heard it from Hen before when she was talking to families of victims who had misunderstood something deeply. "I think he's just gone to the doctors again".
sorry, gonna be out with Ravi, Buck had texted two days ago when Eddie had tried calling. He had wanted to know if Buck would be on a call with him and Chris this weekend.
"Hen?" he was trying not to assume the worst but, "What's going on? What do you mean again? What doctor?"
"Jesus, did Bobby not - oh," Hen sounded frustrated and Eddie could care less about whatever tension he was going to have later.
"Hen?"
"Eddie, listen -"
"Hen, what doctor?"
There was a minute of silence before he heard her exhale hard, and Eddie had already imagined the worst.
"Maddie and Buck were kidnapped three weeks ago," she says finally and Eddie hears something beeping around him, "Maddie escaped but Buck - it took us almost five hours in the end. He survived. He just needs some help now."
A little over three weeks ago Eddie had said goodbye to Buck at the airport and Buck had told him to take care.
He hadn't said it back.
It hadn't been a thing, he'd just nodded, too choked up to say anything. But he hadn't said it back.
For almost a week since he'd landed in El Paso, Buck hadn't called. Eddie hadn't pushed.
He survived, he hears in his head. Buck has been lying to him for three weeks now. Bobby too. The only people who had kept in touch regularly.
Eddie doesn't scream. He feels the cracks opening again.
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fruitcoops · 2 days ago
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Do They Know It's Christmas?
Happy holidays, lovelies! And most importantly, happy noot fic exchange/ secret Santa to @itsaash --you're a legend, a sweetheart, and a friend I hold near and dear to my heart. I hope everyone is staying safe and sound! You've made it through the shortest day of the year; it's only up from here! Thanks to @veryspacecowboy for coordinating the exchange and @lumosinlove for the characters!
TW for implied smut and mild Vaincre spoilers
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane…
“Fourth line, take it left!”
…and all the fun we had last year…
“Good work, boys, remember we’re working clockwise.”
Run, run, Rudolph, Santa’s gotta make it to town…
“I know, I know, but we need to get that down before we break today.”
…come on, it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with…
“Keep those crossovers clean in the corners, Sunny!”
…the very next day, you gave it away…
Arthur frowned at his clipboard. An ache had started up along the inner corner of his eye, and not even the steady working of his thumb brought relief. The song changed to something bright and tinny with silver bells; the things he would give for a nice, quiet O, Holy Night right about now. Something soft, with minimal jangling. A saxophone would be lovely.
They had a schedule. They always had a schedule. The boys were used to rotation exercises—he had even taken pity and not added anything new or complicated to the roundup. The whole damn thing was laminated and taped to the damn glass around the damn bench on both damn sides of the goddamn rink.
Arthur’s eyes ticked typewriter-smooth down the list, but his ears alone would have told him it was a lost cause. Messy crossovers. From Sunny. Crunchy, scratchy steps from skates of perfect sharpness. Low muttering, barks of laughter, rollercoaster-arcs of chatting when they were supposed to be focusing. Cap did his best, but Harzy looked about two laps from chewing his way out through the boards.
Well. It was almost Christmas. He could be kind.
The whistle broke through Brenda Lee’s second chorus; 20 heads popped up.
“Revision!” Arthur called across the ice, drawing a steady line through the end of his list. “Bring it in.”
Their rush to the bench was the cleanest they had sounded all day.
“We’re going to finish a little early today—”
A wave of cheers cut him off, then petered out at his unimpressed glance.
“We’re finishing a little early,” he repeated when the Christmas spirit had released their souls at last, leaving only a faint ringing in the upper levels of the bleachers. “Because I’m taking off the last rotation.”
Arthur slipped his pen back into the clipboard clamp. Olli raised a tentative hand. “So…we can go…?”
Arthur frowned. “What? No, we’re going ‘til noon, if you just—guys, the schedule is right there—”
“Nooo—”
“But Coach—”
“—Christmas!—”
“I haven’t even—”
“—been here so long—”
“—like you don’t even love us—”
“—mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t—”
Unbelievable. Simply beyond words. Arthur looked over Nado’s pleading hands, hoping for an ounce of solidarity from the one person besides himself who was literally appointed for this duty, and was met with only a beleaguered, whale-eyed stare in return.
Arthur raised his eyebrows.
Sirius gazed back.
For such a large person, he could really pull off ‘sickly Victorian child begging for gruel’ when he wanted to.
“Alright,” Arthur muttered. It was lost in the sea of writhing and wailing. “Alright!”
The team (finally) fell somewhat silent.
“I am very sorry,” he began, pausing to slide his clipboard onto the bench hook. Their anticipation was delicious. “That I assumed a group of grown men playing their favorite game for millions of dollars would be able to handle one morning practice for their last competition before a holiday break.”
Pots’ eyebrows pitched as if he had been stabbed. “But Coach, it’s Christmas.”
“It is December 22nd.”
“I haven’t even found something for my dad yet!” Walker piped in.
“Sounds like a personal problem with time management.”
Pascal—the traitor—shuffled on his skates. “I was going to make holiday cookies with my children,” he said sadly. “They grow up so fast. We might not have many years of it left.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. “I’m letting you go at noon, not locking you in here overnight. And I know you make cookies on Christmas Eve, because you put them on my doorstep every year.”
Pascal tsked, but didn’t deny it.
“You get cookies?” O’Hara perked up, craning his neck to look at Pacal. “How come we don’t get cookies?”
“Because I don’t need you to like me,” Pascal said with a smile.
“What if we need to catch flights?” Knut interrupted.
Arthur squinted at him. “Knut, we have a game tomorrow. You better not be going anywhere.”
“Well, no, but the sentiment stands.”
“No, it does n—you know what, fine, if you make it through…” Arthur leaned around the glass to squint at his beautiful, crisp schedule. “Your next two—TWO, I don’t wanna hear it—rotations before 11:30, I will let you out then.”
“And no lift tonight?” Kuny asked hopefully.
“Don’t push it.”
“Veto.”
Budding protests froze over in one collective puff of breath.
…the stars are brightly shining…
“What?” Arthur asked at last.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices…
Sirius licked his lips, shifting from one foot to the other. “Veto.”
Arthur opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Every eye in the room was fixed on their captain. He rested his chin on top of his hands, folded on his stick. Lupin’s gaze flickered back and forth.
“But I…” Arthur faltered, gesturing at the schedule.
“I get three.”
“It’s not even 9:30.”
“No questions asked.”
“We have a game.”
“It’s snowing outside.”
“How do you know that?” Arthur asked despairingly.
A grin skipped across his face. “I’m Canadian. I can smell it a mile off.”
“Also, Tremzy texted everyone right before practice,” O’Hara added.
“It’s snowing, have fun at practice, you fucking losers, ha-ha,” Knut recited with a grave nod.
“No, no,” Sirius corrected. “My bones are made of snow and I was born with hockey skates in one hand and a thermometer in the other.”
“That, I believe.”
Arthur waved his hands between them before the already-unbearable situation could get any worse. “Let me just…” His headache was coming back. Going home early was starting to sound less terrible by the minute. “You, as captain, get three vetoes across the span of your contract.”
“Ouais.”
“Which you can use to veto any practice you want, for any reason, with no questions asked by me or other staff.”
“That’s what I signed, yes.”
“And you’re using it on a snow day? With barely two hours left of practice? Before a game and a week off?”
Sirius smiled. “Veto.”
“Lupin.” A last-ditch effort. Perhaps a dirty play, but it was warranted. “Lupin, don’t you have anniversary plans? Birthdays? Anything else he can use this on?”
The captain’s barely-contained mischief was bad enough. Lupin’s mild bemusement was worse. “I’m sorry, Coach, but I can’t question a veto from my captain.”
Arthur scanned the crowd of hopeful faces. Sometime in the last minute and a half, Knut had slipped his phone off the bench and was doing his best to text under Winter’s elbow. Kelly Clarkson sang along to his imminent defeat. He sighed, shook his head, and opened the gate. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Nobody moved.
Arthur blinked. “Merry Christmas?”
Not a twitch.
“Ho-ho-ho, get out.”
The dispersal was the most active they had been all day, surging forward in one mass of whooping red and gold. Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Moody turn the music up a notch before hustling back into his office.
The herd had vanished down the tunnel in a matter of seconds. Arthur shook his head, turned his smile toward the empty rink, and pulled out his phone.
--
The locker room was a disaster.
“Don’t pull so hard!” Leo grunted as he fought to wriggle out of his jersey, hopping on one socked foot while Finn tried to help him out of his remaining skate. “I’m gonna fall, I’m gonna fall, Kasey—”
An elbow to the ribs righted him. “Yeah, no, I’m on my way out,” Kasey called over the ruckus, sandwiching his phone between his ear and shoulder. “Yeah, lemme get my shoes on. Al’s driving? Jesus, maybe I’ll just walk.”
“A tie is bad, right? That’s a bad gift?”
“T, I’m sure your dad will love anything you get him.”
“But I got him one for his birthday.”
Remus grimaced for just a moment, but it was enough. Thomas dropped his head into his hands with a groan.
“No, hey, it’s a good gift!” Remus tried, patting his shoulder. “Does he have a lot of ties?”
“He’s more of a sweater guy.”
“T.”
“I know, I know, I know.” Thomas sighed. His head fell back against his stall, then rolled toward Remus as his lip slid out in a pout. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Did Remus have to give him a minute with this one? He was a little afraid he did. “T,” he started. “Your dad likes sweaters.”
“Yeah.”
“So get him sweaters.”
“But what if he doesn’t like them?”
Remus took him by the shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. “He likes you.”
Thomas made a desperate sound and rolled his head the other way, then heaved himself upright. “I need to go outside. The cold clears my mind.”
“Way ahead of you!” Finn shouted over his shoulder, one hand clasped in Leo’s and the other on the doorknob with his skates teetering dangerously over his shoulder.
Leo hoisted their duffel bags, shuffling through the narrow doorframe with all the grace of a newborn giraffe. He gave them one last clumsy wave with a glove half-on. “Lo sends his love, even if he’ll never say it!”
“Yes, I’m coming,” Kasey laughed, presumably still to Natalie. He caught the door with his foot just as it was beginning to close; Remus grabbed the edge of it from him and waved off both his grateful look and mouthed thank you. “Yes, baby,” Kasey repeated. “Usual spot. On my way.”
It was a disaster, and then as fast as they had all tumbled in, everyone flooded out. A few of the newer guys remained, muffled by the hum of the showers. Dumo ruffled up Sirius’ hair as he passed, preoccupied by Celeste’s rapid-fire French on the phone and the hustle of his light jog. Remus was pretty sure he caught some mention of the park; there was one near their house with a pond that froze around this time of year. He was a little surprised Logan wasn’t already staking his claim on it.
Sirius’ arm was around him before he even started to sit. It made for the perfect guide and counterbalance, settling him firmly on a denim-clad thigh with a kiss to seal it in seconds. “Hey,” Sirius mumbled against his shoulder blade.
“Hi, trouble,” Remus laughed.
Sirius hummed, obviously pleased, and gave him a squeeze around the waist. “That felt good.”
“Using your powers for evil?”
“Mhm.” Another pulse, this time with a cheeky pinch to his hip. “And you.”
Remus scoffed, swatting at him, but couldn’t help leaning back into his warmth all the same. He was lucky Sirius couldn’t see the heat of his face, too preoccupied with nuzzling his way across the span of Remus’ back to leave a kiss at the top notch of his spine before burying his nose in the divot below. Odd creature, that one. Remus liked him far too much. “What are you doing?”
“You smell good.”
“I haven’t showered.”
“I noticed.”
Remus bit the inside of his cheek for a moment. He gave the room a cursory glance—the stragglers were just finishing up, too engrossed in whatever wisdom James was bestowing on them to notice the graze of Sirius’ teeth over the arch of his shoulder. “I was thinking,” Remus started, then lowered his voice. “Was thinking we could do it at home instead.”
Sirius’ smile pressed bright and devious to his skin. “Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Am I invited?”
“Unless I’ve started using the royal ‘we’,” Remus teased, digging his elbow lightly back into the curve of Sirius’ rib.
His laugh was soft, but the pat to Remus’ outer thigh was perfectly heavy with promise. “Get your bag.”
News of their early departure had obviously reached the ears of the rest of the training staff, because the halls were stark in their emptiness on the way out, after many goodbyes to James and promises of dinner tonight. Remus had been dying for some actual holiday time—he had planned gifts months in advance, dedicated an entire Monday to wrapping, agonized over delivery times and game schedules and delays.
But he was craving the substance of it, the literal meat and potatoes of people coming over to ooh and aah at the ornaments over dinner by the fire. Most of all, he wanted some time that was theirs. A brief moment to enjoy the lights and the smell of fir with just himself, Sirius, and the dog. It had been…three weeks? More? Since they put the wreaths and boughs up around the house. He was pretty sure that was the last time they had been able to do holiday things that didn’t involve obviously sneaking off to get gifts for each other.
Sirius seemed to feel the same. They had hardly made it past the PT room before he was pulled into an empty hallway for a kiss that melted in his mouth like butterscotch. He hummed, pushing into it, but Sirius just took him by the hips and pressed him back against the wall. Okayokayokayokayokay came the giddy whirl of the end of his thoughts.
“This.” Sirius’ mouth moved against his jaw, threatening a mark above his pulse point. “This is what I was after.”
“Cancelling practice just to kiss me,” Remus said, breathless already. His throat caught at a flash of teeth under his ear. “So irresponsible.”
Sirius’ eyes were bright and playful. “And I’d do it again.”
They got away with another minute—or five—before footsteps sounded down the other hall. Remus took him by the hand and pulled him toward the parking lot at a brisk, tumbling clip, sneakers pattering on the floors Filch was waiting to wax until they were all gone for the break. Hooligans, he called them. It echoed in Remus’ head as he kissed Sirius stupid in the hall beside the display cases. If only he could see them now.
The air bit his face as soon as they stepped outside, hot and kiss-fresh. Remus could hear voices around the corner but Sirius’ hand was sliding ever-lower and he just—“There’s people!” he hissed, fighting his grin with a blind bat backwards.
Sirius was too fast. A firm grab made him hoot, startling a laugh from both of them. “The entire world has seen us making out in a car, loup,” he snorted. “I think that’s worse.”
It was only the Cubs, after all, and half a snowman wearing a disjointed collection of gear. Leo’s oh-so-subtle text must have done the trick to summon Logan out of his holiday relaxation. He had only flown in that morning after the Rangers’ last game, but he seemed plenty awake despite the journey.
“You’re making me cold just looking at you,” he argued, adjusting his beanie over Leo’s ears while Finn finished rolling the head beside them. “You’ve lived here for years, and still you forget a hat?”
“Merci, baby.” Leo tried to sound begrudging while he obediently bent to let Logan work, but it only came off as fond. Remus could relate.
“And Fish just lets you walk out of the house like this. Unbelievable. It’s snowing.”
“It wasn’t snowing when we left,” Leo pointed out. “I seem to remember a ha-ha, losers text informing us of the change.”
Logan’s tsk was sharp as black ice while he tenderly tucked Leo’s curls under the hat’s knitted edge and kissed each of his cheeks. “Completely frozen over,” he informed Leo. “You’re welcome.”
“Now you’re going to get cold.”
Whatever disbelieving expression Logan made was lost to Remus as Sirius ushered him around the back of the car, but his scoff was plenty audible. “I’m Canadian. I don’t get cold.”
Sirius’ forehead hit the steering wheel the moment their doors closed. “I want to be home,” he complained.
“You’re in the right place to get there.”
“I don’t want to drive.”
“I can do it.”
A pathetic sigh heaved his back and shoulders. “I don’t want to wait fifteen minutes.”
Remus tugged on the back of his hat. “Not that I’ll ever say no to a little New Year’s action, but I feel like we just covered why that’s not a great idea in broad daylight.”
Sirius groaned, grumbled, and turned the car on.
Between salt and the morning commute, the roads were mostly clear. The familiar crunch of snow under tires pulled half of Remus’ brain from the rink; the other half followed at a sluggish pace, coaxed away by radio carols and the mindless chatter the two of them somehow managed in spite of spending eighty percent of their time together. The window was cold on the side of his head. Remus never liked freezing, but there was something about a snow day that always felt like home.
The house lights cast red and green glimmers over Sirius when they pulled in. They were working on getting decorations he liked; things he actually wanted, not just what Instagram said he should use. It wasn’t a lot yet, but it was a start. The icicle lights above the door had been a particularly good find.
They were greeted by a loud bark and the scrabble of paws. Hattie careened around the corner from the living room (she had taken to dozing under the tree) and spun herself at their feet in a few tight circles for maximum petting efficiency.
“We’re home so early!” Sirius cooed, gathering her wiggly body up in his lap like she was still tiny. “Oh, you’re so excited. Did we surprise you?”
“We were so mean to poor Coach,” Remus agreed as he dodged her lolling tongue. “Yes, baby, so mean, but now we’ll be home all day.”
Hattie keened and whined and nibbled on everything in reach for a tolerable thirty seconds, then launched herself out of Sirius’ lap and made a beeline for her toy box. She had hardly made it halfway to them when a cardinal flitted past outside—her ears spiked up, body puffing on a low bwoof. Remus barely got the screen door open before she was off like a bird-seeking missile, cutting through the snow in leaps and bounds.
They dumped their gear in the mudroom, made a snack, planned lunch, played with the dog, dried the dog, cleaned her paws, and finally—finally—they were standing in the same room, with nothing to do for another hour at least.
“Hi,” Remus said, heart kicking.
Sirius smiled. “Hello.”
Hattie’s teeth squealed on her peanut-butter-filled toy.
They wasted no time for foolishness on the stairs. A sweater on the ribbon-wrapped banister; socks in the hall. Sirius’ pants didn’t even make it across the bathroom threshold, belt clattering on the floor. Remus turned the shower on with his eyes closed because he quite simply could not be bothered to spare more than one hand.
“C’mere,” he murmured into Sirius’ mouth, even as he stepped backward under the spray. “C’mere, don’t move.”
Sirius’ response was wordless and perfect.
Steam built around them, chasing off the chill. The house was decorated. The presents were wrapped. Meals were planned, the dog was busy, and Remus was tired but he was so, so awake now, with ink-black hair wound around his fingers and a boy that held him so the hot water never left him.
Sirius rested his head on Remus’ shoulder and went lax at the drag of a soapy hand over his back. “So good.” His mouth rested at the curve of Remus’ jaw. Every word cooled his skin. “So good to me.”
“Doing my best,” Remus joked with a scritch to his nape.
Sirius raised his head, blinking sleepily around the water that spilled down his face. “I don’t remember the last time I wasn’t scrambling for gifts this time of year.”
“I do.”
“Mm?”
“Last year.” Remus smudged a few soap bubbles down the bridge of his nose. “Shopping for you.”
Sirius’ forehead wrinkled. “Me?”
“I was being cranky,” Remus assured him, running his thumbs over Sirius’ collarbones. He didn’t have a lot of soap left, but he would be shameless and greedy about touching like this. “Lily knocked some sense into me.”
“She’s good at that.”
“The best.”
“And she’s lucky to have you.” A kiss pushed the side of his hair into a cowlick; Sirius grinned as he smoothed it down with one hand. “Trop mignon.”
Hot hot hot hot hot. Remus wrapped both arms around his waist and sank his teeth into the knot of soft muscle above Sirius’ heart. Sirius’ laugh jostled him, but that was fine. He was used to it. “I love the holidays with you.” One last little kiss to his neck, to the spot he had bitten the other night and made Sirius’ leg tremble. “I love you.”
“I’m going to veto every single practice forever.”
“No,” Remus laughed, swaying them back and forth. He covered Sirius’ wicked smile with his hand and kissed the back of it. “No, non, not allowed.”
“But I get kisses and showers and I love you’s and dinner—” His hands skimmed up and down Remus’ sides, running over wet skin with the expertise of someone who knew all his soft spots. “—and you bite me and our dog loves us and we get to see James and Lily tonight—”
Remus cut him off with his lips this time. “Your perfect day,” he whispered, though it was just them in the house. “Sounds pretty close to mine.”
“Copycat.”
“Maybe we should just stick together,” Remus offered. Sirius’ fingertips found his own, lacing together all too easily. “For maximum perfect-day concentration, you know.”
“Nothing else, of course,” Sirius agreed.
“Oh, nothing.”
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“I put mistletoe above our bedroom door when we were decorating.”
“Amateur. I put it on the ceiling above our bed.”
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quillsandblades · 1 day ago
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OMGG THANK YOUUU!!! I love this so muchh, their expressions are so peaceful. And merry Christmas to you too @silvermarig0lds!! Hope you have a great one🎄☺️
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
And here's the little drabble that just had to come from this:
Out here, they can't hear the clock tick, can't see the minutes pass. The wind carries their wishes and their memories in little gusts over the plains and the seas. It will sing their story years later in a melody only the sky and the trees understand.
Hange leans against Levi, eyes half open. The colours of the sky bleed through her eyelids. His fingers weave through her hair, gentle and warm. His cape rests around her shoulders as they steal minutes, seconds away from the weight of their reality.
Their horses stand at a distance, snorting and munching on grass idly. They've got time here, a moment they can stretch into hours in their minds. Hange rises and turns back, facing him and hoisting herself up with her palms on his thighs.
She bumbs her forehead against his, her hand creeps up to slip into his, fingers slotting against Levi's.
Her smile is the widest when she says,
"Congratulations on your marriage, Levi Zoe-Ackerman." Her tumb brushes against the cold ring on his finger.
"Likewise shitty-glasses," he mumbles. She sees a faint rosy hue on his cheeks and a glint in his eyes.
It had been a spur of the moment thing, they had a short break between their busy schedule and went to town for a regular stroll. From there, within moments they'd both decided that their world was shitty enough as it was and they were gonna killed by titans anyway, so why not get married for good when they were already committed to each other. The documents were signed, necessary words were said and the knot tied for good.
Till death do us part...
It seemed fitting with their line of work.
But Levi grumbled about that one line in particular later on. Something like death shouldn't be enough to part them, he argued.
And Hange had felt surprisingly warm at that statement, a fluttering in her chest accompanied when she told him he was right and the priest didn't know shit.
Then they stopped for a moment just to breathe and let their new status sink in. And here they were now.
Hange grins, "I wonder what Erwin will say about this. He sent us out for a breath of fresh air and we came back married."
"He won't care as long as we focus on our jobs when needed," Levi tells her.
It's not bad, Hange thinks as they ride back to HQ. They'll live to the fullest, and she won't have any regrets of not loving him enough when her time inevitably comes.
merry christmas @quillsandblades i’m your secret santa! here is my gift for you as part of the levihan secret santa gift exchange 🥳 hope you like it!
thank you @levihanweek for organizing this, i’m glad to be drawing them both again :D
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bixels · 1 year ago
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
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Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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deoidesign · 4 months ago
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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qroier · 11 months ago
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these bozos aren't celebrating SHIT together 🤣😂😭
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luck-of-the-drawings · 9 months ago
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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sluckythewizard · 9 months ago
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these are A BIT OLD but uhhh here check out these aggio doodles i did forever ago. still VERY happy w my colors :3
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niuxita21 · 3 months ago
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No one:
Absolutely no one:
Meiji: Why would I sit on a chair/the couch when my girlfriend's lap is literally RIGHT THERE
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 years ago
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Late Night Talking
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#MDZS#wei wuxian#lan wangji#This scene had massive 'we are the only two people still up at the sleepover' energy#thought let me set the record straight; wwx doesn't open up in the scene. He fully deflects#Nor does LWJ play with ants B*(#I wanted to merge the two scenes a bit that's all#My OG script was a bit funnier but it broke continuity so rip (i.e: wwx outright stated 'remember when YOU...' in reference to the ants)#also rip to lwj saying 'hey U up?' like he's texting his crush. I hope the spirit is still there#We all know lwj sticks to his 9pm bedtime no matter what#and wouldn't be traditionally texting on a cellphone#He wakes up at 4:30 am to go for a run#gets home at 5:30 to use the lan household computer to go on his shared google doc with wwx and comments 'are you still awake?'#cause lets me real. wwx might also keep a steady sleep schedule but at least he *can* pull an all-nighter#Can you imagine lwj at a sleepover? I admit to being the kid who went to bed and woke up 3-4 hours before the others#you either get fed up and wake someone else up for enrichment - or plan ahead to bring a book - or Walk Home#I fully missed out on all that deep heart to heart stuff. I usually was the one to go 'guysssss we are gonna get in troubleeee go to sleep'#wait this is too much sleepover talk I need to talk about wwx in the last panel. It's a mix of panic and pride.#He's just at the beginning of realizing this guy has changed a lot in 13 years#gonna be a while before more comic pages get posted but they're ready to go in the queue!#(I'm still posting other stuff daily though!)
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itissadbutitsmy-artblog · 7 months ago
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i wanted this comic digitalized so bad that i used max's birthday as an excuse. :)
this is the true ending. if im insane enough ill show you the alternate ending though
bonus because i just. it just kinda peters out. longggg post yayyye
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chibishortdeath · 5 months ago
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Woahg, that’s a lot—
Explanations under a cut :3
This is Simon like immediately after defeating Dracula. Just sitting on his knees, hands on his face. He needs a minute, but he’s not gonna get a long one cause the castle is collapsing—
Wow! What a nice happy family :3. I sure hope nothing happens to them! :3 I’ve always liked to arrange the series of events like first Selena and Simon met and got married, then the Dracula stuff went down, so uh yeah uh fan interpretation of their (currently) unnamed kids.
The text here says “where’s momma?”, said by his daughter (who by this point is 2-3 about). Shout out to the artist ability to make yourself really sad—
Just Simon and the kids chillin. He probably was a really good dad, just kinda struggling.
Little quick doodle of the designs of the kids. Agh I need to name both of them (TwT ). It’s hard, I feel like they gotta have nice but cool names, but I just haven’t found any I like yet. Anyway, the one on the left is the older daughter and the one on the right is the younger brother and as of Simon’s quest they are 10 and 7 respectively. The brother would’ve been born the year of CV1 if I have my math right, so when Simon was 22.
Sobbing! It be like that sometimes 💀. This might count as like one part vent art and one part just expression and emotion practice :O.
This one also kinda counts as vent art I guess lol idk. It says “I did everything right”. I was thinking of a specific audio while drawing this and tbh I might actually have to animate something hmmm. Or just still images cause animation is hardddddddd oof. The text isn’t like from the audio or anything either (>< ;).
This one is based on an old insert character here kind of meme :D. The text says “step 1: establish character with a little worry but a lot of determination. Step 2: inflict soul crushing trauma Step 3: inflict soul crushing trauma—“ and that repeats until step 5 lol. The original meme only had two images, but each of these are supposed to be based on specific events so yeah. First one is just pre CV1, then the moment he got hit, then shortly after leaving the castle, then in the graveyard 6 years later, then somewhere in the middle of his quest.
This one is fun!!!!!! It’s an idea for like a double sided keychain :D!!!!! One side has the like CV1/CV4 era Simon swinging on one of those loops and the other is Simon’s Quest!!! And it’s supposed to be the Hanged Man tarot card!!! So cool!!! Idk how making keychains works so if I actually did this I’d probs just make one in shrink plastic tbh. But ough it would be so cool to actually make and sell little fan keychains and stuff (TwT ).
This one I don’t remember if I’ve posted or not but it’s never getting finished 💀💀💀. Gotta love drawing The Character in increasingly dynamic poses and surreal ways.
Ok it’s super late I have to sleep 💀👍
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magicalgirlmindcrank · 28 days ago
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Blehhh
#so like#physical therapy and medical stuff has been cutting into my sleep for three weeks now#and yesterday we were up to like noon thirty cuz we had to talk to a lawyer#and a few days ago we asked her what the turkey day plans are#and she said dinner at 1pm. fucking one in the afternoon.#we've identified 1-3pm to her as the hardest times for us make cuz it's basically the middle of when we are sleeping#normally we try for ~9:30 am to be in bed or getting in#and up around 5 or 6#and it's just#i know she's not doing it to single me out she's just an insane woman when it comes to her schedule#but it would have been nice if she ever made any effort to try make sure we could be included -_-#cuz this was an issue last few thanksgivings too#so she KNOWS about it#she can't not know about it#and idk#one of my sister's always got judgy about it cuz ~she works 60+ hours a week~#and i didn't show up on time to help cook cuz i needed a nap after work#and i KNOW she's gonna be a bitch about is not being at the gathering#though i don't think she'll contact me about it#and like#i would love to go honestly!#that's the kicker!#if it was at 4pm it something I'd absolutely go!#my sister's just moved so i won't get to see them often and i would like to visit with them#not to mention we could use a good free meal >.>#but like#fuck dude#we're already exhausted and we're kinda sick of having to meet my mom at a place that's unreasonable for us#so i guess it's Thanksgiving alone at my place of a bowl of chili with cheese and some potato salad#means we get stream at least
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starlight---starbrights · 7 months ago
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
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This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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