#was gonna include eddie's dream at the end but it was just way too long so. that'll be the next part i guess

[steddiehyperfixation]

don't you forget about me (part four)

(part one)(part two)(part three)

Eddie wakes from a thankfully dreamless sleep, his head on his pillow now, which is somehow far less comfortable than Steve’s solid chest. Speaking of… Eddie looks around; Steve isn’t there at all anymore, and Eddie is alone. He’s disappointed, though not entirely surprised, that Harrington’s left him again despite his promises. 

In fact, he’s honestly more surprised when less than two minutes into his wallowing in the empty room, the door is pushed open by none other than Steve Harrington carrying two trays of food, one balanced on each hand like a goddamn waiter. It’s kind of adorable, actually, Eddie thinks, and that thought surprises him a little too. 

“Oh, you’re awake! Good morning.” Steve sets one of the trays on Eddie’s lap. His smile is bright, though there’s a slight, uncertain wobble to it. “Shitty hospital food and shitty hospital TV, right?” 

“Right.” Eddie’s face breaks into a grin, something light unfurling in his chest. He glances at the plate of gross food on his lap then back up at Steve, and he admits, “You know, for a second there I thought you’d left again.” 

Steve shakes his head as he settles into the chair beside the bed with his own tray. “I promised you I’d hang out today. I’m a man of my word.”

“Good.” Eddie smiles and grabs a remote off the bedside table, turning on the TV. “Now for our mealtime entertainment, let’s see what’s on the shitty TV today.”

The television starts blaring some old black-and-white rerun of I Love Lucy. Eddie’s immediately about to change the channel, but then he notices the way Steve’s eyes have lit up. “Hey, that’s not shitty TV!” Steve says. “I used to watch this with my mom all the time when I was a kid.” 

Eddie snorts. “Of course you did.”  

Steve gives him an indignant look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing.” Eddie shakes his head evasively, shoveling a forkful of rubbery scrambled eggs into his mouth so he doesn’t have to say anything else. 

Steve just rolls his eyes, almost affectionately, like they’ve had conversations like this before. He chews on a flimsy piece of bacon and makes a face, nose scrunching up. “Ugh, you really weren’t kidding about the shitty food, though.” 

“Nope,” Eddie laughs, “I really wasn’t. Thanks for catering it though.” He swallows down another mouthful of food, and then adds with a little less levity, “And, uh, thanks for last night, too - for calming me down. Don’t think I’ve said that yet.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Steve gives a small smile, shrug, slight shake of his head, a tiny pinch between his brows like he doesn't quite get why Eddie even feels the need to thank him for that. “That's what I’m here for. I just hope I didn't cross any boundaries or anything, holding onto you like that.” 

Now it's Eddie's turn to give him a confused little smile and a head shake. “No, of course not. That was exactly what I needed.” He attempts to add some humor back into the conversation, jokingly quips, “Although, to be fair, I never did think that King Steve would ever be caught dead in a bed with The Freak.”

Steve had hazarded another bite of his breakfast, trying the eggs this time, only to choke on it at Eddie’s comment. He coughs, hits his fist against his chest, and hurriedly takes a sip from the water bottle on his tray. 

“Jesus.” Eddie tries not to take offense, assuming Steve’s reaction to be one of disgust at the double entendre. “That bad of a thought, huh?” 

Steve shakes his head and clears his throat, face flushed. “No, no, it’s not that, man. Food just went down the wrong pipe, is all.” 

“Uh huh…” 

“Seriously.” Steve gulps down some more water, quiet for a moment before adding, “You know I’m not King Steve anymore, right? Haven’t been for a while now, since even long before your memories end.” 

“Yeah, I know. You ditched Tommy H. and Carol your junior year, and then Nancy Wheeler dumped you and Billy Hargrove stole your crown and bashed your face in your senior year, I remember,” Eddie recalls. “But for the most part you were still well-known and well-liked, still this popular, pretty, rich boy jock all the girls still drooled over, so.” He shrugs. “Always figured ‘King’ still fit.” 

“Right…” Steve raises his eyebrows as Eddie lists off these events of his life, looking at him with a smirk of barely-hidden amusement. “I forgot you were obsessed with me.”  

Eddie’s jaw drops in exaggerated offense. “I was not obsessed with you.” 

“Were too,” Steve taunts.

“Was not.” 

“Were too.” 

“Was not.” Eddie chucks a piece of bacon at him. 

Steve gasps indignantly as the bacon slaps him in the face and tumbles onto his lap. “You child!” But he’s laughing, retaliates by flinging a forkful of eggs back at Eddie. 

The conversation devolves into a full-on food fight, shrieking and cackling as they pelt each other with flying bits of eggs and bacon. It turns out shitty hospital food serves far better as ammunition than it does as anything actually edible. 

A nurse chooses the exact wrong time to decide to come in and check on Eddie, walking into the room at just the right moment to be caught in the crossfire and hit with a stray chunk of egg. Both boys freeze. 

“Uh oh…” Eddie mutters under his breath. Just his luck - it’s not the young, nice nurse, Katie, who always laughs at his jokes, but Nurse Margaret, the old, mean one who he’s never once seen crack a smile. She flicks the egg bit off her shoulder, leveling them with a stern frown as she marches over. 

Eddie casts a furtive glance at Steve who looks back at him, lips twitching like he’s trying not to laugh again, and Eddie feels mirth bubbling back up in his own chest too. He has to look away from Steve again before he loses it. 

He sucks his lips in, clamping them together between his teeth to hold in his laughter, and he stares up at Margaret with a thin-lipped, guilty, upside down smile as she chides them both for making a mess and scolds Eddie for exerting himself and risking reopening his wounds. Steve mumbles an apology and starts cleaning up the scattered bits of food strewn about the room while Margaret double checks that Eddie hasn’t, in fact, reopened his wounds or gotten worse in any way. Once the nurse is satisfied with both the state of the room and the state of Eddie, she whisks away what’s left of their food trays and stalks out of the room with one last disapproving look over her shoulder.

Then and only then does Eddie risk eye-contact with Steve again, and the two of them immediately burst back into laughter. Steve nearly doubles over with it, leaning against the trash can where he’d just been dusting off his hands. “Oh my god,” he chuckles out. “Her face when I hit her with that egg? I was so sure she was gonna kick me out.” 

“Nearly gave mean old Margaret an aneurysm, and that was just from hitting her shoulder,” Eddie snickers. “Imagine if you hit her in the eye or something.” 

Steve does his best impression of Margaret’s angry scowl and reproachful huff, and Eddie cackles. He laughs so hard his sides ache and his injuries hurt, wounds aggravated by the movement of his laughter, but he doesn’t care, the pain far too distant beneath the cushion of painkillers and positive emotion he currently feels so high on. 

“You’ve still got some egg in your hair,” Steve notices with another amused snort as he pushes himself away from the trash can and approaches Eddie’s bed again. He plucks the offending bit of food out of Eddie’s curls and smooths down the hair where it had been stuck. “There.” 

Steve’s fingertips brush ever so lightly against Eddie’s cheek when he fixes his hair. It sends a pleasant sort of shiver down Eddie’s spine, turning his laughter to breathless giggles just for a moment. “Thanks.”

Steve flicks the egg chunk into the trash before sinking back into the bedside chair with a soft sigh and a warm smile. “God, I missed this,” he says, “just laughing with you.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie returns the grin. For him, of course, this is the first time they’ve laughed together like this, but he has to admit he’s already rather fond of it. “Can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed that hard.”

Steve’s smile turns nostalgic, like he can remember the last time Eddie laughed like that, like he was there for it. “It’s a good look on you - laughter,” he says, so quietly Eddie almost feels like maybe it wasn’t meant for him to hear. And Eddie can’t help but think that laughter is a pretty good look on Steve too, all rosy cheeks and shining eyes.

“How did we become friends?” Eddie asks, before his previous thought can take any sort of root. 

The nostalgia in Steve’s expression only grows. “It was the beginning of June, start of summer, probably only a few weeks after your memories stop. I was working at the Scoops Ahoy in Starcourt, that new mall that had just opened, and you wandered in,” he says, looking at Eddie with a teasing glint to his eyes, “because you were obsessed with me-”

“Was not,” Eddie protests immediately.

“Were too,” Steve laughs. “Anyways, you saw me in my stupid little sailor uniform trying and very obviously failing to chat up a girl at the counter, and you came in just to laugh at me, actually.” 

“Okay, that does sound like me,” Eddie concedes with a grin. He probably walked in there just for the sailor costume alone, if he’s being honest with himself. That’s something he’d kill to see - just for a good laugh, of course. “Do you still have that uniform? It might, you know, jog my memory a little if you were to bring it in one day,” he suggests slyly. 

“You and that uniform, man,” Steve scoffs and shakes his head like this is something they’ve talked about many, many times before, enough for it to become a predictable sort of annoyance, a longsuffering inside joke. “No, I don’t still have it. Threw it out first chance I had, not to mention it got totally ruined when the- uh, when the mall burned down.” 

Eddie’s eyes go slightly wide. “The mall burned down? While you were there?” 

“Yeah- well, sort of,” Steve falters, a shadow falling over his expression, and he shakes his head again. “It’s kind of a long story, and not the one I’m telling right now.” 

“Right, yeah, shit.” Eddie waves his hand as if to erase everything he’d said before. “Forget I mentioned it.” He, more than anyone, understands not wanting to relive bad memories right now. “Continue the other story. How did we go from me making fun of you to us being besties?”

The shadow lifts as Steve returns to that memory. “Oh, yeah. I told you the show wasn’t free and that you needed to order something or leave. So you bought a milkshake, which I somehow managed to end up completely spilling all over the both of us when I tried to hand it to you. You were livid,” he chuckles, “thought I’d done it on purpose, even though I definitely hadn’t. I felt so bad I insisted on helping you clean up. You were icy about it, but you let me show you to the sink in the backroom and accepted the jacket I lent you so you wouldn’t have to walk around with ice cream stains on your shirt all day.” 

“That’s quite the meet-cute,” Eddie jokes. “Are you sure you’re describing our friendship and not some rom-com chick flick you watched last week?” 

“Nah, true story, honest. It wasn’t a rom-com,” Steve says, and though he smiles, there’s an odd sadness to it too. He shakes his head and continues, “Anyways, you clearly warmed up to me after that because you came back the next day to return the jacket and apologize for being a bit of a dick before, and then you gave me this whole ‘you’re actually a good dude’ speech and told me to give you a call if I ever wanted to split a joint or something. I took you up on it that same night; it had been a rough day at work and I figured why not, so I came over and we smoked and we talked and we got along like a house on fire - better than either of us expected, I think. And that was our thing, then, after that - smoking and talking. Sometimes weed, sometimes just cigarettes, and sometimes we just smoked and didn’t talk, and then sometimes we just talked and didn’t smoke; until eventually we started doing other things together too besides just talking and smoking, we were just hanging out. At that point we were friends, practically inseparable, and then we-” Steve stops himself, a shade of melancholy reentering his dim smile once more. “We only got closer from there.” 

“That sounds nice…” Eddie tries to remember it, really digs deep in his mind for any sort of spark of memory or recognition in Steve’s words, but it’s empty. It all just sounds like a story to him, doesn’t settle anywhere real. It’s a good story, sure, one he’d like to experience, one he aches to connect with, but a story nonetheless, only words, only fiction. “I wish I could remember that.” 

“Me too,” Steve says, and Eddie hates how sad he looks, hates even more that he’s the cause of it. 

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to make new memories, then!” Eddie declares with a theatrical amount of enthusiasm as he flashes Steve a bright grin, all in the hopes of chasing that sadness back off of his face. “Won’t we, my friend?” 

Success; Steve seems a little startled by Eddie’s sudden gusto, but he laughs and smiles, the real kind this time that shines in his eyes again. “Yeah, I guess we will.”

Eddie does his best to keep the conversation away from their past after that, not only in an attempt to keep the light in Steve’s expression but for his own sake too. It’s a strange thing to be reminded of the fact that he shares a history with someone and has no memory of it, to be around someone who seems to know everything about him while he feels as though they’ve only just met.

For the most part, hanging out with Steve is nice and fun and easy - there’s something so natural, familiar, about the way they talk, the way they banter, the way they sit together even in the silences. But sometimes Eddie will say something that makes a sadness flicker in Steve’s eyes again, or sometimes Steve will say something that makes Eddie wonder just what secrets this guy knows about him and his skin crawls with that old discomfited itch. They’re both quick with a joke, a redirection, whenever the other’s expression falters, though, like Steve is trying to make sure Eddie doesn’t feel uncomfortable just as much as Eddie is trying to make sure Steve doesn’t feel sad. 

Other visitors come in and out of Eddie’s room that day too: Dustin stops by with a portable cassette player and some newer heavy metal albums that came out during the period Eddie no longer remembers, which brings more than one source of entertainment as it also incurs Nurse Margaret’s wrath again when they listen to it too loud. Wayne drops in with some actually edible fast food for lunch and a deck of cards, playing a few rounds of a few games. Nurse Katie checks in on him to redress his wounds and she laughs at his stories of annoying Margaret. Even Steve has to leave a couple times, says he has errands to run or needs to pick up Robin from work, but he promises to be back each time and each time he is. 

Night has fallen now, and it’s just Eddie and Steve again, Steve sitting, as always, beside Eddie’s bed as they watch whatever cheesy old movie is playing on TV while Eddie fights off sleep. He fears it still; each wave of drowsiness that washes over him is met with a shiver in his heart that breathes ice into his veins and freezes him awake. 

After about Eddie’s hundredth attempt to suppress a yawn, Steve turns off the TV and looks at him. “Are you tired?” 

“No,” Eddie says, only for his lie to be almost immediately undermined by another traitorous yawn. “Alright, yeah, I am, but- I don’t want to sleep,” he admits. “I don’t want to dream.”

“Oh.” Steve’s gaze softens, sympathetic. For the first time unprompted, not waiting for a nightmare or for Eddie to ask like he always had before, Steve moves closer and takes Eddie’s hand. “I’ve got you, you know,” he says, the statement fierce in its sincerity. “It’ll be alright. I’ll fight off your nightmares with my bare hands if I have to.” 

Steve’s hand is warm against the chill in Eddie’s blood, the heat of his skin seeping in to thaw his fear. “I don’t think a nightmare is something you can fight,” Eddie says, cracking a smile, but looking at Steve now, he can almost believe it. 

There’s a new sort of spark in Steve’s eyes, protective, devoted, and it burns the way a fire in the hearth of a home burns, like something dangerous made safe just for him. Eddie suddenly doesn’t doubt, somehow, that Steve could fight off anything, even something as intangible as a nightmare, if it was threatening Eddie. With Steve here holding his hand, he somehow doesn’t doubt that not a single thing can hurt him. Not a single thing would even dare try. 

And not a single thing does. 

No nightmares make their way into Eddie’s mind that night, no bad memories stir in his subconscious. That night, instead, he dreams of Steve.

(part five!) taglist (CLOSED): @romanticdestruction @daydreamsandcrashingwaves @paintsplatteredandimperfect @hallucinatedjosten @mugloversonly @estrellami-1 @alongcomesaspider @thatonebadideapanda @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @dragonmama76 @wxrmland @nuggies4life @sirsnacksalot @myguiltyartpleasure @lolawonsstuff @marklee-blackmore @vinteraltus @sebastiansstanswhore @0happyeverafter0 @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @emsgoodthinkin @alyelf @warlordess @stevesbipanic @lil-gremlin-things @rockandrolodex @badcaseofcasey @bat-outta-hel @fandomcartographer @manda-panda-monium @littlewildflowerkitten @giopandaonice @mightbeasleep @queenie-ofthe-void @krazyperson @worldofshea @marvel-ous-m @tartarusknight @a-little-unsteddie @xenon-demon @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxsky-shockxx @mc-i-r @bookbinderbitch @aspenshade88 @slowandsteddie @thedragonsaunt @daydreaming-mood @space-invading-pigeon @irregular-child @a-lovely-craziness (taglist continued in replies. please lmk if you'd like to be removed from this list)

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Tagged by @eddiebabygirldiaz for seven sentence Sunday! Here’s uhhhhh more than that from a buddietommy vacation threesome fic-

The day is hot enough that Buck is curled up like a bug on the dock between them. He’d stayed in the water longer than Tommy or Eddie had, and had swum out further than either of them, so when he’d crawled back up onto the old wood planks he’d chugged an entire water bottle and promptly passed out. Eddie glances down at his bare torso, just starting to get a little pink.

“Should probably get sunscreen on him again.”

Tommy snorts as he leans backwards, stretching out to grab the spray can. “And you’re worried you’ve forgotten how to be a dad.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie says as Buck, still asleep, makes a similar sound when Tommy mists him all over with cold sunscreen. “It’s been months, man, that’s so long for a kid, who knows what he’s even into now-”

“Minecraft, right?” Tommy says as he smooths his hand over a few places the sunscreen pooled on his boyfriend’s back. “Wasn’t he on a video call with you and Buck about it for like three hours on Friday? Something about- uh- command blocks?”

Eddie is mildly impressed Tommy remembers the word — maybe — because he certainly doesn’t. Buck had only been slightly better at following along than he had as they’d squinted at the probably impressive pixels on the laptop screen. “I don’t know, I just feel like…” Every morning, still, he wakes up and thinks he needs to get Chris’ breakfast started. Whole parts of his being are wired around taking care of his kid, but since he’s been gone Eddie has been trying — in fits and starts and most of the time guiltily — to figure out what the rest of him is for. It’s part of what got him into the whole mess in the first place, chasing after the dreams of a 19 year old who got those dreams from his parents. A nice wife (but they never liked her, did they) and a good job (but firefighting is too dangerous, isn’t it) and a picket fence (one closer to home, Eddie, you’ve gone too far away.) So he owed it to Chris, owed it to himself, to figure out what the fuck he actually wants, so he doesn’t keep twisting himself into knots and taking out everyone around him when the line breaks. He’s not sure he’s any closer to whatever that is — other than it’s unlikely to include a wife of any kind — but in the time he’s taken trying, what if other things got lost in the upheaval? “I keep thinking I’ll just- not remember to do something. Forget how field trip permissions slips work, or not know what shoe size he wears, or- I don’t know. Anything. I won’t pack his lunch and it won’t be the end of the world but he’ll be hungry that day.”

Tommy leans back on his palms and looks across at him, quiet and thoughtful for a few moments in that way he has, like he’s thinking through every possible response before he speaks. He is, maybe; he’d confessed to Eddie that he’d spoken too quickly when he was younger, is embarrassed about a lot of the dumb shit he’d said, so he tries to take his time with his words now. “Eddie. You took us up here this weekend to check and make sure this place is accessible to take your kid to this summer. And- I get that’s a big thing, a big gesture, and maybe you’re worried about messing up the small stuff, but… You’ve still got his favorite kind of jelly in the fridge that nobody else eats. You love him, and he knows that. You’re gonna do fine.” He shrugs. “And he’s almost fourteen, if you forget to hand him lunch he’s gonna let you know.”

Eddie huffs a small laugh. “Yeah, I guess he will.” He groans a little, shaking his head. “Fourteen years old, that’s fucking crazy. I don’t feel old enough for that to be true.”

Tommy rolls his neck so it audibly cracks. “Yeah, yeah, you whippersnapper.”

Eddie grins at him. “You feeling the exercise, old man? Need to go lay down?” He cackles and leans away as Tommy grabs the can and sprays a burst of sunscreen at him.

Between them Buck grunts at the commotion, and rolls towards Eddie. He presses his face into the meat of his bare side above his trunks, and wraps his long arms around his torso. Eddie glances up at Tommy, who just looks fondly amused. “Uh. Wrong guy, there, bud.”

Buck stills, and then pulls back a little to squint up at him. Eddie’s not particularly ticklish, but something like goosebump are shivering across the skin of his stomach where Buck’s forearm rests against him. He has to actively try not to shudder as Buck pulls back and rolls the other way, Eddie watching hypnotized as he gives Tommy the same treatment. Buck presses a little kiss onto Tommy’s hip, in the spot he had just been cuddled into on Eddie, and Eddie’s mouth goes dry.

Tommy lets out a little breath, and Eddie doesn’t think he’ll be able to use the sun as an excuse for how pink he’s gotten as his eyes snap up to the other man’s face. Except- he’d been expecting a raised eyebrow, a flat mouth, some visual indicator of disapproval, that this is one step Buckandeddie too far, that all the rest of their codependent lives have been fine, a platonic kind of care built over years of being there for each other through the worst of the worst, but now the uncomfortable answer to what Eddie wants, the uncomfortable answer he’s been trying to avoid because it's something he cannot have, has been found out and the messy insides of him will have once again ruined something good. But what he finds is a tiny little smile and heavy eyes that-

Well, they don’t look disapproving in the slightest.

“You guys hungry?” Buck mutters, words muffled by Tommy’s skin. “We should go start the grill.”

Tommy’s little smile gets wide and lazy, eyes still stuck on Eddie. “I could eat,” he says.

Tagging @iinryer @shitouttabuck @butchdiaz @chronicowboy @homerforsure @rewritetheending @bigfootsmom if you have anything you want to share!

[nburkhardt]

Other Parts: One, Two, Three, Four.

(Small trigger warning for overdose, not completely accurate I don’t think but still gonna warn) NOW, onto the fic! ~

The Plan? That’s fucking boring

Eddie Munson’s Way of Making the Sun Shine Brighter?

The End of Michael Wheeler?

Eddie’s Totally Put Together Plan? What a stupid fucking stupid title!!

(Title is still a work in progress)

Self reminder: do not in any way, say the word ‘asshole’ within hearing range of Steve. ALSO do not use any references to royalty or anything relating to being dumb.

Step 1:

Find out the reason why Michael Wheeler decided to be a total dickwad and call Steve an asshole. Yelling really comes out if it’s a dumb fucking reason.

Step 2:

Let the brats know that they are to stay away from Steve for at least a week to think about why he reacted the way he did. Don’t mention the breakdown, only say what is necessary.

Let Steve know about this part (double underlined)

Step 3:

Corner Dustin Henderson and Robin Buckley separately. Find out why they weren’t too concerned for their supposed best friend.

Hint to them what’s going on?

Step 4: most important

Comfort Steve !!!! Make sure he knows you’re in this for the long haul. Make it known you are not leaving him.

Help him open up a tiny bit more. Do not overwhelm him!!

Step 5: necessary for step 4

Hand holding, nicknames and reminders. Maybe cuddles ONLY if he’s up to it!!

Step 6: Step 2.0: (written over with a line harshly up the page connecting to step 2)

Shut up anyone who even dares to say The Word to Steve. Teach self to not say it anymore. Give a crash course to everyone in Hellfire that they were unknowingly being bullies. This step be after step 1? Maybe step 2?

~

Eddie glanced at his notebook and smiled. All morning he’s been writing out this plan. It wasn’t settling in his head whatsoever with his overactive hyper way of thinking, it was never going to come together.

He woke up only after a few hours of actual sleeping, he tossed and turned with images of a heartbroken Steve flashing in his dreams. At one point he jolted awake when a particular flash included Steve just silent and emotionless, like he wasn’t there anymore but he was breathing and that was absolutely terrifying.

Eddie has seen something similar like that look before and it wasn’t pretty either….

—

A recently turned twelve year old Eddie is frozen in the doorway. His face is pale, near white as he stared at his mom.

Charlotte Munson is slumped on the couch, nearly no emotion on her face. Her eyes glazed over, only half way open. Her mouth is parted in a dazed smile, the usual warmth in her face is completely and utterly gone.

Her hand is clutching a tiny bottle and there’s a bottle of vodka on the table.

Even in his frozen state, it doesn’t take long for him to figure out what is happening. Her chest is slow, he can tell she’s breathing. Only just enough but the glaze in her eyes isn’t clearing up; her eyes are actually slipping shut more.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, doesn’t know how long she’s been there either.

Eventually, someone knocks and breaks the spell.

He’s told later on that she overdosed, but he already figured that out. He watched it happen. Two weeks later he’s shipped off to Uncle Wayne’s, promised to be cared for and he makes a silent vow to never take too much or to mix anything, ever.

—

Shaking his head out of the memory, he looks at the paper again before jumping out of bed to get dressed.

He doesn’t understand or know why his brain decided to be so fucked up and marge the images of his mom and Steve together, but he was jolted awake by it and has stayed awake since.

Now that his plan is laid out on paper for him to visibly see, he feels more confident in this. Before all his head could come up with was ‘Protect Steve’ flashing around as if it was a neon sign.

Grinning to himself, he grabs his notebook and his pencil plus a highlighter. Erasing the crossed out titles before writing down:

Sunshine Protection Squad (he also drew a tiny sun next to it)

It’s not exactly a good title for what this is, but it’s actually the perfect title. Simply because it’s what he is now. He is Steve’s protector and hopefully, for as long as possible. He’ll wear it with pride and scream it from the rooftops if Steve would like that, maybe get a tattoo imagery of it; he’ll remember to ask before doing such.

Steve has always been the protector and never the one being protected. It’ll be a change for him and Eddie knows this, but he’s ready for the challenge to prove it.

To prove that Steve is worth protecting. Even if it’s against his own friends.

~~

I'm going to end it there, i think the stopping point is pretty good. Plus it means I can switch either back to Steve or get into the party. I had a blast coming up with the writing of Eddie's plan. It would be even better if tumblr allowed underlining in the text. (wrote most of this in my notes app and it looks so dumb and perfect lmao) btw if anyone has any tips on how to write any of the party members please send them my way!

taglist: @zerokrox-blog, @piningapple, @i-wanna-combust, @stevecarrington, @henderdads, @fiore-della-valle, @eddiemunsonswife, @mixsethaddams, @momotonescreaming, @ajamlessbaby, @novelnovella, @flustratedcas, @thelastwalkingsoul, @hellfire1986baby, @manda-panda-monium, @xo-blairej, @freyaforestafay, @princessstevemunson, @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring, @sapphirecobalt-1, @stevesworldxx, @jonathanbyersbbg, @fromapayphone, @anzelsilver, @adaed5, @koyislosinghismind, @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit, @bornonthesavage, @seths-rogens, @xwildangel, @mightbeasleep, @y0urnewstepp4r3nt,

@saphhicwitchbitch, @m-chmcl-rmnc, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @steddieassheg0es, @didntwant2come, @itsfreakingbats, @stranger-poets-society,

[vanmarkus]

Weekend Wip Game ✨

I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)

1. WIP List:

so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:

• the mudslide fic

• the jealous eddie fic

• the breeding kink fic

• the accident fic

• the donation smut

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the mudslide fic, definitely

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄

I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:

@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz

[its-all-ineffable]

Thanks for the tag @kittyphoenix12-xx!

How many works do you have on AO3? 86 at the mo!

What's your total AO3 word count? 259,347 words. WOAH!

What fandoms do you write for? Well, I have a massive list of fandoms I'm in, and I write for most of them. However, finishing and posting fics is very different. My biggest ones are Interview With the Vampire (2022) and the Doctor Who spin off Class. I've recently written a few fics for Red, White & Royal Blue as well. And I have a few up for the MCU and The Batman. But I write for/want to write for most of the fandoms in this post.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? This is news to me! From 1 to 5:

Sandman, I'm so alone, so bring me a dream - The Sandman (Netflix)

When a brother and a sister stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us? - Enola Holmes movies

5 times Alex called Henry baby ‘casually’ and 1 time it was (definitely) because of love - Red, White & Royal Blue (movie)

You're his destiny - Interview With the Vampire 2022

Lifting makes my soul happy - Red, White & Royal Blue (movie)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to always respond to every comment I get because I love that people liked my fic enough to leave me one. And I want them to know I appreciate them for doing that.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmm...good question. I have a few angsty IWTV fics but their in a series and are angsty cause it's all about reflecting on what a shitty person the characters were. So I'm gonna go with Tears are words the heart can't express, a post series 4 Strager Things fic where the group mourns Eddie (and Max kinda) as well. Very sad. Made myself cry while writing it.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hmm, I don't know. I have a few that are very happy, I'm not sure which is the happiest... It might be my lone Heartstopper fic I just wanna be a fool and get lovesick with you? I'm gonna go with that one.

Do you get hate on fics? Well, some people were dicks about the formatting of my second Multifemale appreciation which I didn't appreciate. And someone was a bit of an asshole about my tentative, slightly smutty fic for Class which I will talk about further for the next question. But for the most part, everyone's lovely!

Do you write smut? So, I tried for the first time with Filthy Mind, a Class fic, all the way back in 2016. But I am on the asexual spectrum, and on the side of sex-repulsed in certain ways. Reading smut? Yes, great, there's awesome smut out there! Writing it? Not in my wheelhouse. Also, since I, personally, have never had sex, I can't really write about it accurately. I've tried my hand at some more smutty stuffy recently for Interview With the Vampire and being more bold with the references too it in my Red, White & Royal Blue fics. But for now, not really.

Do you write crossovers? Um...kinda? There's a Doctor Who/Class crossover I started but has been left by the wayside for a while. And I included Clara in a Class fic one time. On the whole, not really.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. I hope it never happens.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, but only on fanfiction.net which I don't use anymore. However, people are very welcome to translate my fics as long as they tell me about it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I'm very precious about my writing and I find that I'd rather write by myself. Always love discussing ideas for fics and I ask my friends for help! And I'm always happy to be a sounding board for others to bounce ideas off!

What's your all-time favorite ship to write for? Ooh tough question! I love writing for Louis & Lestat (IWTV), particulalry show Loustat. But, I have to admit, Alex & Henry (Firstprince) from Red, White & Royal Blue have been the easiest pairing to write for a I feel like I've solidly got their dynamic down in every fic I've written. So, yeah, firstprince (atm).

What's A WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I mean, there are so many, posted and not posted, that may well never be complete. But a WIP on AO3... probably my supernatural one, The Queen Of Hell. Love the concept but it needs a major re-write (all my posted WIPs do) and honestly there are better fandoms that I love more and want to write for.

What are your writing strengths? Description. I can write the most beautiful descriptions. They can get a tad long however. And characters - getting into their heads, building them up, making them from scratch etc.

What are your writing weaknesses? I am so shit at dialogue it's upsetting. I've completed a 3 year underhrad degree in Creative Writing and am currently doing my Master's in CW too, and I still suck at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Unfortunately, I only speak English, and I am awful with that, let alone other languages. When I write characters speaking other languages e.g. French in my IWTV fics, I use google translate to translate what I want them to say from English into the chosen language. However, if people who actually speak that language want to correct me, they are more than welcome to do so and I will change things!

First fandom you wrote for? First fandom I posted a fic in was Class, the Doctor Who spin-off from 2016 (go and watch it, it's amazing). First fandom I actually wrote fanfic for, without knowing it was fanfic, when I was about 7, was Primeval (not well known British sci-fi show that is the best thig EVER) and BBC Merlin.

Favourite fic you've written? A favourite? Pick a fave from all my babies? Hmm... Well I'm very fond of Call it love and devotion, an IWTV fic mainly centred on fluffier moments between Claudia and Lestat.

My baby's fit like a daydream, walking with his head down, I'm the one he's walking to, the 3rd part in my fic series for The Batman, is one of my favourite fics I've ever written in my life, and I'm very proud of it.

And all 3 of my Red, White & Royal Blue fics are amazing in my eyes, but that is largely down to how much fun I had writing them!

Tagging (no pressure): @xstick-noodlesx, @thefairylights, @prouvaireafterdark, @virginiaisforvampires, @fanboy-sloth, @theredrenard, @theimprobabledreamersworld and anyone else who wants too!

20 questions for fanfic writers tagged by @elledelajoie 💗

How many works do you have on AO3?

42! What's your total AO3 word count?

221,866 What fandoms do you write for?

Predominantly Stranger Things and The Sandman, but I've written fics for Marvel, Glee and Julie and the Phantoms as well (and a lot of other oneshots for different fandoms). What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

keep on going when it's all falling apart (stand tall) - Julie and The Phantoms

i'm feeling lost, i'm feeling dead (the world keeps spinning) - MCU/Parkner

Arthur's Snake - Hetalia/Harry Potter

Dragons, Demons and Rising Snake Dudes - Naruto/Harry Potter

i greet the dawn and not the setting sun (when all is done) - The Sandman Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

most of the time i do! sometimes i forget and leave them too long, but i do read and appreciate each one ❤️ What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the angsty fic i can think of is my glee oneshot make the smoke and mirrors disappear which is then continued in another fic so...

the closest i'll probably get to an angsty ending in any fic would an ambiguous/open ending. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

well, i've only completed three fics, so i guess it would be Dragons, Demons and Rising Snake Dudes? the other two are kinda open ended... Do you get hate on fics?

i did on fanfiction.net where i had the two crossovers before moving them to ao3 - people were unnecessarily rude over there. but ao3 has been very nice :) Do you write smut?

i've tried once, dont really want to try again. Do you write crossovers?

yes :) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i hope not Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, Monday's Child (Fair of Face) has a Russian translation here Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but i would like to in the future What's your all-time favorite ship to write for?

Hmm... Dreamling and Harringrove are the most frequent, but i do love Argyle x Billy so I'll probably write more for them What's A WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

during lockdown i had an idea to rewrite the entirety of glee with the premise that Sue Sylvester runs the glee club instead of Mr Schue. I doubt I'll ever write it but it's fun to think about.

i do have a discontinued fic as well that i lost interest in, but other than that, i do want to finish the one's I've started. What are your writing strengths?

i think it changes. sometimes it's dialogue, sometimes action etc. it really depends on what the story needs/what kind of mood I'm in. What are your writing weaknesses?

setting descriptions. i hate describing things Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

large chunks, i'll probably italicise it and write [Blorbo] said in Spanish or something like that. one or two words I'll look up in online dictionaries and implement those. First fandom you wrote for?

technically Harry Potter, Hetalia and Naruto, since I wrote those crossovers around the same time. Favorite fic you've written?

longing for the sun you will come (away from home) which is my Argyle x Billy fic. it's very special to me.

eventually the sun goes out and we'll be coming down is the glee fic i just finished and it was very cathartic to write

and my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor is the first Sandman fic i wrote and it holds a place in my heart

tagging: @thatgirlwithasquid, @ihni, @its-all-ineffable @strangerthingfanfic @nachtwaechterin @fellshish @kiraixi and anyone else because i cannot remember who posts their fics to ao3 and who doesn't lol

[himbodiaz]

October Buddie Fic Wrap-Up

a list of my favourite fics i read this month

[ ✓ complete | → ongoing | ☆ series | ☼ one-shot | ☾ multi-chapter]

[note: this list is pretty long, so there are a bunch of fics that i didn't include, but if you see an author on this list with a fic i haven't rec'd, chances are that i enjoyed it, too! also, i didn't include tumblr only fics solely because i didn't decide to make this until a few days ago, so i didn't bookmark them]

< 10k words

at the kitchen table by iphigenias (@oatflatwhite) [word count: 1.5k | ✓ | ☆ | ☼ ]

Post-5.03. Eddie's single. Buck's not. They talk about the elephant in the room.

in my eyes, my heart, my soul by lecornergirl (@nogamediaz) [1.9k | ✓ | ☆ | ☼ ]

“We made you pancakes for Father’s Day,” Christopher says.

Eddie watches the expressions that cross Buck’s face. Surprise, confusion, then a careful kind of joy like he’s beginning to put together exactly what Christopher means.

“For—for me?” Buck asks, so quiet Eddie barely hears it.

“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I want you to be my other dad. If… if you want to be.”

for all that we've got (don't let go) by spiritsontheroof [2.2k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Eddie swallows hard and stares straight down the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes.

He’s tired of this. He’s tired of ending up here, face to face with his final breath, looking his last moment in the eyes and wondering if this is the last time anyone will see him before they see him in a casket.

solemnly, freely, and upon my honor by asgardiun (@astronautdiaz) [2.7k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Bobby handpicks a partner for Buck in the form of Eddie Diaz.

Whatever this is (I won't let go) by justhockey [3k | ✓ | ☼ ]

“Okay, Captain America,” Buck laughs. “How about we get you into your pj’s, then your dad and I will read you a story?”

Christopher hums. “Okay.”

They move quickly and efficiently, like they’ve done this a thousand times before. And they have - they have, and the reality of that settles in Eddie’s bones like something heavy. The way Buck has so seamlessly fit into their lives, the way he’s carved a space for himself and now Eddie can’t even imagine a time before he was here. Doesn’t want to ever have to.

pin all my hopes to your handlebars by spiritsontheroof [4k | ✓ | ☼ ]

The top of the fire truck is as good of a place as any, really.

He can climb up, lay on top of the hoses, and be left alone. No one follows him up here, or comes looking for him, and no one who walks by in the truck bay can see him. It’s peaceful and it’s quiet and sometimes it’s the only place Eddie can get one moment’s peace in this place.

He does it for about six months after the tsunami before anyone finds him.

And the person who figures it out, of course, is Buck.

tell the whole wide world and this room by hattalove (@hattalove) [5.2k| ✓ | ☼ ]

in which we learn about fermented milk products, discover that dolphins are sex fiends, and realize that sometimes, it really is all about knowing and being known.

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand by justhockey [5.3k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Suddenly there are arms wrapping around him, pinning his own to his sides so he can’t do any more damage. And it’s Eddie’s voice whispering in his ear, and Buck just - breaks.

His legs give way and he falls to the floor but Eddie doesn’t let go, he just falls right along with him.

it's funny 'cause i've always dreamed of you by wafflesofdoom (@capseycartwright) [5.9k | ✓ | ☼ ]

after getting shot, eddie spends a day in an alternative reality where he is very happily married to buck, and has a it's a wonderful life-esque experience.

Up Where We Belong by zarah5 [8.3k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Canon divergence. After the lawsuit, Buck gets placed with a different firehouse. This is how he finds his way home to the 118—and Eddie.

got me feeling like it's all gonna be okay by wafflesofdoom [ 8.4k | ✓ | ☼ ]

eddie struggles to voice his want for physical affection to buck as their relationship turns romantic, and buck helps him embrace his clinginess again.

to be found by ZainClaw (@zainclaw) [9.2k | → | ☾ ]

After being mistreated by his alpha for the last time, Buck abandons his pack and heads for the city where he’s found by Eddie - another werewolf who’s nothing like the ones Buck is used to. Eddie is gentle, kind, and has made a pack for himself and his son that Buck desperately wishes he could be a part of.

Note: this is a werewolf fic, not a/b/o

10k-40k words

Melt Series by extasiswings (@extasiswings) [10.4k | → | ☆ | ☼ ]

Note: A series exploring sub!Eddie, but with feelings, too.

if you're watching this by disaterbuckely [12.9k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Buck is falling apart after his best friend is killed. But he has to pull his shit together when he comes across a video of Eddie telling him that, in the case of his death, Buck is to become his son's legal guardian. Or, Eddie actually dies in 4X14, and this is what happens after.

a touch of someone else (to save me from myself) by allyasavedtheday (@littlespooneven) [19.4k | ✓ | ☾ ]

In which Eddie joins the 118 during season 1 instead of season 2 and Buck has a lot to say about it. AKA Eddie meets Buck 1.0.

Close Your Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by HMSLusitania (@hmslusitania) [21.6k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Eddie's PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch.

Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.

no kingdom come by waywardrenegades (@waywardrenegades) [23.1k | ✓ | ☾ ]

Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like.

or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.

i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove [32.4k | ✓ | ☼ ]

eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

when i was shipwrecked (i thought of you) by catching_paper_moons [35k | ✓ | ☼ ]

Eddie needs to learn how to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that. (And he falls in love with Buck along the way.)

Halloween 2k21 by HMSLusitania [38.1k | ✓ | ☆ | ☼ ]

A collection of prompt-fills for the week leading up to Halloween

40k+ words

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels) [48.2k | → | ☾ ]

In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again.

In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.

Note: I'm a sucker for the soulmate trope, and this is probably in my top three of all time, across all fandoms. It's a really unique take on soulmates and I love it to pieces.

The Monsterfucker's Symphony by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [57.2k | ✓ | ☾ ]

A collection of smutty oneshots featuring Buck or Eddie (or both) as a non-human creature.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings and letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [68.1k | ✓ | ☾ ]

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Note: This is my third time rereading this fic and it's still just as good as the first two times

Kinktober 2021 by sirencalls (@lesbianbuck) [ 68.6k | ✓ | ☆ | ☼ ]

Note: Includes other pairings like Buck/Taylor and Buck/Ali, but primarily Buddie

Kinktober 2021 by prettyboybuckley (@prettyboybuckley) [80.8k | ✓ | ☆ | ☼ ]

Note: Includes other pairings like Buck/Taylor and ships from Teen Wolf, but primarily Buddie

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [84.8k | ✓ | ☾ ]

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

Note: Another older fic, but one I absolutely adore and reread this month

If you've made it this far, thanks for checking out my recs! And if you have any of your own recommendations that you want to send me for next month, or you want to tag me in your own fics, please feel free!

[swaps55]

Mnemonic

This is an AU version of a standalone scene from Cantata that I rewrote with kissing. Because there was a lot of UST and I am weak. 

Ao3

14 June 2180, Hades Gamma, Farinata System, SSV Myeongnyang

For a biotic, the armor never really comes off. What they carry under their skin is like a live wire, a current always in need of grounding.

Standing face-to-face with half a dozen L2 biotics holding the chairman of the Parliament Subcommittee for Transhuman Studies hostage on the MSV Ontario makes it a lot easier for Kaidan to see how much he takes for granted having a safe place to do it. And knowing how.

Reparations for the L2 side effects are a pipe dream. But a pipe dream Colin Daggett and his people needed to cling to, whatever the cost. And it had almost cost them everything.

Shepard doesn’t say much as they arrange for the survivors to be transferred to the Madrid’s brig and the engineering crew arrives to secure the Ontario for the trip to Arcturus. He says even less on the way through the airlock back to the ‘Yang, and the rest of the squad take their lead from him.

When they’re back on board the ship he disappears, sucking the air out of the room with him. They kit down without him.

“You’re an L2, aren’t you?” Pendergrass asks as she shoves her arms through the sleeves of her uniform, armor plating in a heap at her feet.  

Beaudoin jabs her with an elbow.

“Yeah,” Kaidan murmurs, fingers tracing the amp port on the back of his neck when he removes the protection plate. He flexes his fingers, gravity well jumping into his touch. As he reaches for his chest plate to store it in his gear locker, an electric shock passes through him.

When 23:00 rolls around, Kaidan shows up in the mess as usual, figuring he’ll keep it simple tonight and just make some pasta. Shepard is there waiting, as usual, picking at a spot on the table while Kaidan pulls out a pot and finds a container of pasta. The entire time the water boils Shepard doesn’t say a word, stubbornly lost in thought.

Kaidan tells himself he’s not going to do more than olive oil and garlic – it’s been too long of a day for effort – but by the time he gets it to the table there’s parmesan cheese, parsley, and even a little red pepper in the mix.

“You going to tell me what’s up, or do I get to guess?” Kaidan asks when he sits down across from him and hands off a fork. He spent too much energy on going above and beyond with the red pepper to bother with a second bowl. They’ll just have to share.

Shepard looks up, almost in surprise. “Just thinking.”

“You’ve been thinking ever since you got Chairman Burns through the airlock. Maybe you should think out loud.”

The gravity well churns as Shepard stirs eddies in it, in tune with the twirl of his fork in the pasta bowl. “Everything that happened on that ship hinged on what Daggett did with his pistol.”

His toying intensifies, until blue energy shimmers around his knuckles. This one’s been chewing at him. A snap of electricity skips between his finger and the fork, and he drops it with an annoyed mutter. He looks up.

“You pulled the gun out of his hands,” he says.

And Shepard had put a bullet between his eyes. The fight had gone out of the rest pretty quickly.

“He wasn’t going to put it down,” Kaidan says. “We all knew it.”

“No. He wasn’t. And if you hadn’t been there, that standoff turns into a clusterfuck where everyone dies.”

A soft smile tugs at Kaidan’s lips. “Guess it’s a good thing I was there.”

Shepard picks up the fork again, staring at it with an unfocused gaze before he stabs it back in the bowl and twirls more pasta.  

“I couldn’t have done what you did. I can’t refine a field like that. I was prepared to shoot everyone in that room. But you pulled the gun right out of his hands.”

Only because Shepard had given him the chance. Whether Shepard had done it with purpose or actually hesitated is a question he hasn’t been in a hurry to examine too closely.

“We work together, remember? In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

Shepard huffs. “Yeah. We have.”

“But you’re just gonna get bent out of shape about not being able to do everything yourself, anyway.”

“Have you met me?” Shepard says with a helpless shrug.

“Yeah, I’ve had the pleasure,” Kaidan says with a chuckle. He pushes his chair back. “Come on, then.”

Shepard casts him a suspicious look. “Come where?”

“To the gym.”

“Alenko—”

“Come on.” He nods towards the elevator and starts walking, smirking a little when Shepard’s chair scrapes against the floor and his feet hit the deckplates.

“You’re just dying to give me a taste of my own medicine, aren’t you,” Shepard grouches when they board the lift.

“Oh, definitely.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Apparently not when it comes to taking people’s pistols out of their hands.”

Shepard chuckles, though he tries to choke off a smile by looking down at his feet. When they get to the gym Kaidan digs a canteen out of his locker and sets it down on one of the sparring mats.

“I’m guessing that your training didn’t include a lot of control drills,” he says.

Shepard shakes his head. “Tulak wasn’t big on control. Overwhelming tidal force tends to be the krogan approach.”

“You don’t say.”

“Sarcasm does not become you, Alenko.”

Kaidan grins and points to the canteen. “Start simple. Just lift it off the ground.”  

Shepard rolls his eyes, but taps into the gravity well, corona enveloping him in a shroud of snapping blue tendrils. The hairs on Kaidan’s arms stand on end.

It’s so rare he gets to just watch Shepard work. All unrestrained power, from the loose, angry snarl of his corona to the sweeping mnemonics, make him seem larger than life. When he swipes the canteen off the floor he does it with his entire arm. The canteen leaps into the air, nearly hitting the ceiling before Shepard wrangles it. He only holds it still for half a second before sending it skidding to the other side of the gym.

“Hm,” Kaidan says.

Shepard gives him a withering look before marching off to fetch the wayward canteen. “It’s small. I don’t do well with small.”

“Not sure the size trips you up as much as you think it does,” Kaidan muses. “That mnemonic of yours applies some pretty impressive force automatically, so you’re already playing catch up if you’re trying to control the speed or direction.”

“See, I can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or giving me shit.”

“Both.”

“Har.”

Shepard resets the canteen and comes back to Kaidan to try it again, standing close but not so close their fields intersect. Kaidan watches through three variations that all end almost the same way, too much force being applied to the canteen, making it nearly impossible for Shepard to control where it goes, or where it doesn’t.

Doesn’t matter that he’s not accomplishing what it intends. The way the gravity well cants under his touch, the way his corona lights him ablaze like a flickering star, the way it caresses every nerve in Kaidan’s body like a swash of silk is mesmerizing. Kaidan swallows before trying to speak.  

“Good news is, if we ever need someone to punt a suspicious canteen into space, I know who to call.”

Shepard rolls his eyes. “And if you’re not around to yank pistols out of terrorist hands?”

“Well, first, I will be around. But second, as for the pistol, yanking it towards you isn’t so different from kicking it away from you.” He cracks a grin. “In your case you just need to be prepared to duck.”

“Have I mentioned that separating the pistol from the person holding it wouldn’t end well for anyone?” Shepard says. “If you were to go hold that canteen in your palm and ask me to do what I just did, you wouldn’t like me very much.”

I doubt that.

“One problem at a time,” Kaidan says. “Let’s work on controlling the canteen by itself, then we’ll add clutter.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

“You need a new mnemonic. You’re fighting yourself by adding force and trying to take it away at the same time.”

“I’m sensing a metaphor.”

Kaidan smirks. “Think that says more about you than it does me.” Before Shepard can protest he raises an arm. “Watch me. You don’t have to use my mnemonic, but I want you to see something different so you can visualize it.”

Shepard folds his arms across his chest, but does what Kaidan asks. A nervous thrill runs through him at the undivided attention.

Kaidan waves a wrist, a hard-learned, hard-fought mnemonic that now feels as natural as breathing. Dark energy rushes through him, responsive and willing, as his fingers flex and settle a field over the canteen. Very little mass-shifting needed to pick up a light-weight canteen, which makes it tricky to keep from doing exactly what Shepard did – send it spinning out of control. But Kaidan has spent years perfecting his ability to do exactly this, so the canteen rises off the floor until it reaches eye level. Kaidan closes his fist and holds it still, floating almost motionless in mid-air.

“That mnemonic is so damned subtle,” Shepard says with an appreciative shake of his head. A flush builds at the back of Kaidan’s neck.

“Easier for me that way.”

Shepard grunts and unfolds his arms. “I was never good at levitation.”

“Because your mnemonics always apply force.”

“Need force to yank that pistol.”

“Sure, but if you want to control it, you need to learn how to hold it still.”

“I’m not good at still.”

“I know,” Kaidan says, lips curving into a smile. “So come here and let me show you.”  

Shepard strays a step closer into Kaidan’s biotic field. The blend of auras creates a low keen through his nerves, familiar but always striking. The canteen wavers before falling to the ground.

“Sorry,” Shepard mumbles, but doesn’t back away.

“It’s fine,” Kaidan says, lifting the canteen again with another float of his palm.

Their eyes lock for a moment before Shepard clears his throat and looks down at Kaidan’s hand.

“You put everything in your wrist.”

“Yeah,” he manages. “You do it all with your arms.”

“Yeah.”

“So maybe, if you’re looking for finesse, try to create a mnemonic that’s a little, uh, smaller.”    

“With my wrist.”

“Right. Um, I’ll show you. Here.” He steps in front of Shepard, angling his body to align their right arms. He takes Shepard’s right hand guides it to his wrist, tingle running down his spine when his fingers close around it. Shepard glances at him with soft eyes that stop the breath in his throat, but doesn’t object.

“Hands-on teacher?”

“Best way to learn,” Kaidan replies, gaze flicking to Shepard’s mouth before going back to the canteen. “Just follow my lead. Don’t act on the canteen. Concentrate on what my arm does. Visualize it.”

“Sure,” Shepard murmurs.

Kaidan reaches into the gravity well, his own corona unfurling, a steady candle to Shepard’s flaring torch. Goosebumps rise on Shepard’s arm, a subtle reminder that he’s human after all, one Kaidan is almost never close enough to witness.

He takes a deep breath and flexes his wrist, Shepard’s fingers loose and feather-light against his skin. A crackle of dark energy passes between them before he snares the canteen and turns his wrist palm-up to lift it off the floor, Shepard close enough his breath washes over Kaidan’s cheek. The canteen wavers but Kaidan keeps it afloat for several seconds, the mingle of auras, ripple of kinetic energy and closeness of Shepard enough to make him dizzy.

He lets it go with a clatter and puts space between them.

“Does that help?” he asks, trying not to sound breathless.

“Yeah. It does.” Shepard’s gaze stays on him, still and steady. “Might take a while to hard-wire my brain for something in the wrist.”

“Doesn’t have to be that. It could be something else. But you associate those big movements with force. Take that away, you might have more luck with leaving velocity out of the initial execution, so you can add it how you need it. Have more control over it.”

Shepard’s mouth crooks in a half-smile. “Sure I’m not a lost cause when it comes to control?”

“I’m sure.”

Shepard breaks his gaze and focuses on the canteen, brow furrowed in concentration. Twice he catches himself using his arm, then nearly wrenches his wrist trying to restrict the movement.

“It’s so ingrained,” he says with a shake of his head.

“That’s why they work,” Kaidan says with a smile. “Here.” He steps close once again, positions reversed with his hand on Shepard’s wrist this time. “Let me help.”

“Fuck, your hands are cold,” Shepard says with a laugh.

Hastily, he loosens his grip. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Shepard says with a grin.  “Go on.”

Gently, Kaidan closes his fingers again. Shepard trains his eyes on the canteen, though they dart to Kaidan ever so briefly.

Shepard’s corona is so bright, so fierce, it’s a wonder he can wrangle it at all. Kaidan breathes in deep, letting his own kindle, the snick and crackle as they blend together forming a resonant hum that hovers just under his skin.

When Shepard’s arm moves, Kaidan tightens his grip, keeping the motion small. Instead of his usual languid, fluid posture, Shepard’s arm is stiff and resistant against him. The canteen spins in a circle but stays on the ground.  

“Breathe, Shepard,” Kaidan says softly. “Just let it happen.”

Shepard inhales deep, like someone trying to relearn how. This time they move together, Kaidan picking up the slack when Shepard falters, until the canteen hovers briefly in the air. It’s more under Kaidan’s control than Shepard’s, but it’s a start, and that’s what matters.

They gutter out and the canteen falls, but Kaidan doesn’t let go and doesn’t step away, not yet, not quite yet, not while the remnants of kinetic energy are still sharp in the air and he has to remind himself to breathe, too.

“How do you do that?” Shepard murmurs. “You worked around me, without…taking over. How do you do that?”

Their eyes lock for just a moment. God Kaidan could get lost there if he’s not careful. “Practice. Years of it.”

Let go.

He means to. He means to. In his head he loosens his hold on Shepard’s wrist, drops his hand away and puts space between them. That’s what he tells himself to do. That’s what he intends to do.

But while he does loosen his grip, instead of fall away, Kaidan’s fingertips brush Shepard’s knuckles, the pad of his thumb running along the round muscle of his palm.

It’s an accident. Just an accident. So many of their touches are, but rather than move or pull away, rather than let it be just another one of those excusable, explainable slips, Shepard exhales, the breath fluttering out of him, then splays his fingers wider, as if making room for Kaidan’s to slot between them.

Let go, let go.

But instead he explores the open space Shepard has left for him, fingertips light, hesitant, ghosting Shepard’s skin as he finds where they fit, hovering, hoping, but never daring to rest. Never giving up the ruse.

It’s an accident. It doesn’t mean anything.

Except it does.

Shepard stays still as a stone save for the rise and fall of his chest. They’re close enough now their cheeks almost touch, though whether Kaidan moves or Shepard does to close that gap he can’t say.

The next time Kaidan’s fingers trespass through that open space, Shepard closes his around them and traps them there.

Kaidan’s breath hitches.

The gravity well sighs as Shepard calls to it, glow of dark energy limming their hands, accompanied by a soundless hum that strums every nerve in Kaidan’s body before settling in his groin. Without thinking his other hand comes to rest on Shepard’s hip, needing something, anything, to hold onto.

A soft sound stirs in Shepard’s throat. Kaidan’s hand doesn’t stay on that hip for long, because Shepard seeks those fingers out, too, lacing them together. Kaidan folds both arms until Shepard is surrounded by them. There’s no imagining any space between them now – their cheeks rest against each other, Kaidan tightening his hold until Shepard is snug against his chest.

Shepard turns his head, but after briefly meeting each other’s gaze, his eyes drift down to Kaidan’s mouth.

Kaidan can still let go. There’s still a way out. Chalk it up to adrenaline, nerves leftover from the standoff on the Ontario. They can walk it off, laugh, pretend it never happened, continue on like they always have.

But he doesn’t let go, and then the millimeters between Shepard’s lips and Kaidan’s no longer exist and the window is gone.

Shepard’s mouth is warm, soft, lips tinged with the salt of his sweat. They start out slow, cautious, neither of them daring to think about it too hard, but that’s not a problem for long, because soon there’s no room to think about anything at all.

Nothing else matters but this.

Slow and cautious becomes deep and headlong, Kaidan pushing his tongue between Shepard’s teeth, Shepard sighing into his mouth and taking him in. His fingers tighten around Kaidan’s, the glow of dark energy rippling out from their joined hands until it swallows them whole. Kaidan gasps at the sensation.

Shepard kisses him harder.

God.

Kaidan wants to spin him around, throw his arms around his neck and meet him head on, give in to everything, all of it, but he can’t bear the thought of turning loose of that hand.    

They part when they run out of air, both straining to catch their breath, fingers still entwined, Shepard still firmly ensconced in Kaidan’s arms as his corona fades.

Shepard rests his cheek against Kaidan’s, ensconcing himself a little further.

“Oh,” he says softly.

“Yeah.”

Shepard’s fingers flex within his, twining and retwining, never letting go.

“You…don’t seem surprised.”

Kaidan closes his eyes, breathing him in, a star he’s somehow pulled down out of the heavens and trapped right here in his arms.  “No. Felt it…for a long time now.”

“Oh.”

“…Yeah.”

Their coronas may have faded, but the mingle of their biotic fields is a constant, soothing whisper under Kaidan’s skin. A small, contented sound slips from Shepard’s throat.  

“Why didn’t I see it?”

Kaidan huffs. “To be fair, I don’t think either of us are very good at this kind of thing.”

Shepard tightens his grip on Kaidan’s fingers and pulls them to his chest. The race of Shepard’s heart thrums under their joined hands. If Kaidan had any illusions about letting him go, they’re gone now.    

“I think I’d like to learn,” Shepard says.

Kaidan’s stomach flips. “Me too.”

They stay still, Kaidan content to hold him, Shepard content to be held, until their lips find each other once more. Kissing Shepard is easy, effortless, like it’s something they were meant to do, a safe place for the live current running under their skin to go to ground.

Shepard, against all evidence to the contrary, is…safe.  

Shepard gazes at him when they part, and butterflies cut loose in Kaidan’s stomach.

“You’re very good at that,” Shepard murmurs.

“We’re very good at a lot of things.”

“Yeah. We are.” He draws Kaidan’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan admits. “What do you want?”

“You.”

A shiver runs down Kaidan’s spine, the euphoria of that one, single word enough to make him lightheaded. So simple. So complicated. They’ll have choices to make, all of them with compromises and consequences. But that’s something for tomorrow. Right now there is only the truth.  

“I want that, too.”

Shepard releases Kaidan’s hand to turn until they’re face to face, then runs his fingers through the hairs growing over Kaidan’s right temple. All the while those glittering eyes search Kaidan’s face, as though reconciling all the things he knows with the things he’s learning for the first time.

The corners of his eyes crinkle as a smile spreads across his face, pure, open, and full of possibility. “Taste of my own medicine, huh?”

“Well…” Kaidan shrugs helplessly, and Shepard’s grin only gets deeper.  

“Seems like I should have let you teach me a few things a long time ago.”

Kaidan flexes his fingers, a curl of dark energy igniting in his palm that draws out goosebumps along Shepard’s arm. “All in the wrist.”

Shepard laughs. It’s like music. “You and me.”

“I like that,” Kaidan murmurs, before kissing him again. “I like that a lot.”

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[rawiswhore]

Jeff Hardy, Christian, Raven, Al Snow x Fem Reader- "Real Hardcore Shit"

Yeah, the title is supposed to be a pun of "hot girl shit".

I would like to apologize why I didn't post on Thursday.

I was typing this fanfic on Thursday and gonna post it on that day, but I didn't finish it as well as didn't finish it on Friday and Saturday.

____________________________________________________________

There's many different types of professional wrestling, as well as many different types of wrestlers.

There's technical wrestling done by the likes of Bret and Owen Hart, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Daniel Bryan, AJ Styles and more, luchador wrestling done by the likes of Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara, and high flyer wrestlers like Jeff Hardy that jump off of the top of the ropes or on top of ladders.

There's also the hardcore, death match wrestlers like Mick Foley and Terry Funk; these are wrestlers really willing to sacrifice and hurt their bodies by being beaten by anything from chairs to baseball bats (sometimes even wrapped in barb wire) or fall through tables set on fire.

There's different types of wrestling matches as well as different kinds of wrestling companies, from luchador wrestling companies to companies that feature all female wrestlers.

The World Wrestling Federation, which today is known as the WWE, features many different kinds of wrestlers and wrestling styles and matches, and during the late 90's, the WWF became much more violent and edgier than before.

One of the things they added during the late 90's and early 2000's were hardcore matches and championship belts, and these hardcore matches would have wrestlers brawling each other not just in the ring, but outside of the ring as well.

Throwing each other into walls or doors, getting beaten with steel chairs or trash cans, getting their faces rubbed in cakes or having their heads dunked in a toilet bowl or dirty water.

Most hardcore wrestlers aren't exactly Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Tyler Breeze-esque pretty boys that will have women swooning, but some hardcore wrestlers are pretty hot, and there have been some hot men who have done hardcore wrestling.

Al Snow was in a few of these matches during the late 90's and early 2000's, and at the end of the year 2000, he shaved that handlebar moustache he had at the height of his popularity.

Despite not looking much like a lunatic anymore, he was so cute and looked so good without that tacky moustache.

Raven, a former alumni of ECW, a wrestling company that will mostly always be remembered for being a violent, hardcore wrestling company despite featuring other types of wrestling, has joined the World Wrestling Federation at the end of the year 2000.

He did some hardcore wrestling matches during his time in ECW as well as the WWF, including some of those matches involving him getting his head dunked in a toilet bowl.

Around Thanksgiving 2000, Raven shaved off the tacky handlebar moustache he adorned when he joined the WWF.

Again, while Raven might play a disheveled grunge rocker, he has such a handsome face, just look at him in ECW and WCW, and he looked horrible with that handlebar moustache he had.

Thank God it was shaved off.

Jeff Hardy and his brother really blew up in popularity in the year 2000 and Jeff was the hot one in the Hardy Boyz duo.

Plus, Jeff did a few hardcore matches, not the kind involving him getting slammed and thrown into a wall or getting thrown in garbage cans, but he did do one.

Hardcore wrestling does involve wrestlers getting hit with chairs and crashing and breaking tables in half.

Jeff Hardy became known for jumping off of the tops of ladders in the year 2000, sometimes he'd jump off of the tops of ladders and break a table in half.

Does that count as hardcore wrestling?

Edge and Christian are a wrestling duo that have also blown up in popularity in the year 2000, and Christian is the hot one in the duo.

Plus, Edge and Christian became known for hitting people with chairs as well as doing a few wrestling matches with ladders, and again, hardcore wrestling involves hitting people with objects, usually violent ones, which includes chairs and ladders.

Would that count as hardcore wrestling?

There are also different kinds of pornography; softcore porn is porn that isn't so sexually explicit, whereas hardcore porn is pornography that's severely sexually explicit and graphic.

Keyword: hardcore.

No, hardcore porn doesn't involve people getting hit with chairs, but it's porn that's very sexually explicit and graphic.

You're so happy Raven is now a part of the WWF roster, and you've fucked Christian, Jeff Hardy and even Al Snow before (though you've fucked Raven before as well).

You know what hardcore porn is, you've even watched it a few times, and since some of these aforementioned wrestlers have done hardcore matches...

Near the end of the year 2000, before Raven started growing facial hair again and after Al Snow and Raven shaved their handlebar moustaches, you were sitting naked on all fours on top of the bench in your locker room, while Raven was pounding and penetrating his cock in your twat behind you.

Christian and Jeff were standing in front of you with their cocks pointing at your face, whereas Al Snow was standing in between them while his penis was inside your mouth.

Your fingers were wrapped around Christian and Jeff's shafts, pumping up and down their dicks, masturbating them.

Their cocks were rock hard under your fingers, their penises kept stretching and growing longer while you masturbated them.

Their dicks nearly were rising up taller more and more, but you were holding them down and pointing them at your face.

You can also feel how hard Al's cock is in your mouth, the tip of his penis may as well touch your uvula and be down your throat.

As you're sucking on Al's dick, your mouth is automatically going up his shaft while sucking it.

Al has one of his hands on top of your head, his fingers laced through your hair.

Raven's hard erection is stretching your pussy walls out, thrusting, pounding and shoving back and forth inside of you.

Raven's hands are also placed on your breasts, where he's gently squeezing and fondling them.

You can feel his fingers over your nipples, and you want to shout at him to tweak your nips, but you've got a dick in your mouth.

Blood has been filling your clitoris up as Raven pounds his cock in you.

Raven's thrusts have been rather rough and hard, he's basically shoving you into Al's crotch.

Even though Raven was hot at the end of the year 2000 after he shaved that handlebar moustache, you were imagining Raven during his time in ECW and WCW fucking you, that was when he was at his hottest and sexiest, by far.

Christian had his long blond hair hanging down, not tied back in a ponytail, because you love the way he looks with his long hair hanging down.

Al, Raven, and Jeff as well had their hair hanging down, because they all look so hot and cute with their hair hanging down, though Raven, Al and Jeff usually do let their hair hang down.

Raven's hair has been dry during this little gangbang, not wet and clinging onto his skin.

You couldn't decide who you wanted to fuck you, they're all so hot, Christian and Jeff are easily the hottest.

Though, there are some really hot men you want to suck their dicks as well as get their cum all over you, so you decided with Raven.

To be honest, Raven is probably the least attractive out of all of these men, which is why he's banging you from behind and not in the front.

Of course you had to give Al Snow a blowjob, he will always be remembered for his sexual innuendo catchphrase ("What does everybody want?" he'd ask, to which the audience would shout back "HEAD!").

Christian and Jeff wrapped their fingers around their shafts, not each other's shafts, mind you (like Jeff wrapping his fingers around Christian's dick), but on an empty space under your fingers before your hand slid down or up a spot.

They wanted to help cum on you too.

They tried to masturbate their cocks and aimed their penises at your face, pumping up and down their shafts under your fingers.

Al, meanwhile, was looking at you blowing him off, your lips perfectly wrapped around his cock, your mouth going up and down his shaft and erection.

He was grinning at you sucking onto him, and he has the cutest damn smile ever.

Christian and Jeff, too, were looking at you giving Al a blowjob, they were both smiling and even laughing a bit as well.

Your hands were cranking Christian and Jeff's cocks, sometimes your fingers rotated around their shafts while they went up and down their erections.

Precum started spilling out of their slits and down their shafts, some of their precum got on your face.

The tips of their penises were nudging and touching your face, that way you'll get precum on your face.

Their shafts became a lot more slippery thanks to precum trickling down them, easier for you to pump their erections.

Precum is also leaking out of Al's slit and seeping into your tongue, some of his precum is even running down your throat.

Your moans were muffled thanks to having Al's cock in your mouth, you're moaning not just because of Raven fucking you, but how good Al's cock tastes.

Al's biting his bottom lip while you suck his cock, Jeff's eyes are rolling to the top of his head in ecstasy.

While holding his cock in his hand, Christian directed his dick to your lips, where he pressed his penis head on your lips and slid it across your top lip, rubbing the tip of his penis like a lipstick.

Strange, but whatever.

Since Al has that iconic catchphrase, he may as well say it...

"What does everybody want?" he asked loudly.

"HEAD!" Christian and Jeff exclaimed, laughing after they said that.

Even Al couldn't keep a straight face asking that.

"What does everybody need?" Al asked.

"HEAD!" Christian and Jeff retorted.

It was always one of your goals in life to suck on Al Snow's cock while he shouted his catchphrase, and your dreams have come true.

You're swallowing any precum leaking out of Al's dick, sometimes your tongue is trying to roll and wrap around Al's shaft.

Your tongue is also trying to lick up his cock like it's a Popsicle, licking up his shaft vertically and licking up any salty precum that trickled down his dick.

Your hand directed Christian's penis to the middle of your face, and you wanted him to jack off on your face.

Al is tempted into crotch chopping a la D Generation X and shouting the catchphrase that goes along with it, but shouting "suck it!" and crotch chopping is sooooooooo 1999.

When your mouth and face elevated up to the tip of his cock, instead of going back down his shaft, your tongue vertically licked his slit from bottom to top.

Your tongue caressed around on his penis head despite that you're not holding his penis, your tongue roaming and zigzagging all over his penis head.

This took Al by surprise, his eyes growing wide in shock, but hey, he's still getting head.

Your tongue lolled out of your mouth and pressed onto Al's shaft, where it licked and caressed up his erection, licking up any precum trickling down it.

Your tongue swirled and twirled around his cock like it was someone swinging around a stripper pole, your tongue elevated up to the tip of his penis as it twirled around his shaft.

As you're getting plowed from behind, you're orgasmically moaning and breathing onto Al's penis, your warm breath staining onto his shaft.

When your tongue reached the top of Al's cock, your hand moved the tips of Christian and Jeff's penises to your mouth, where your tongue shifted over to Christian's penis.

Your tongue vertically licked up Christian's erection from his shaft to his penis head, licking up any precum.

Once your tongue reached the top of Christian's dick, your tongue horizontally slid across from Christian's head to across Al's penishead and Jeff's tip.

This took Christian, Al and Jeff by surprise over what a cock addicted slut you are, licking their penis heads across.

Your tongue slid down Jeff's shaft, only to slide and elevate back up his erection up to his penishead again.

You'd love it if you could fit 3 cocks into your mouth, maybe you even can.

Hardcore sex is sex that's very detailed and sexually explicit, much more sexually explicit than softcore porn, that's why you have all of these wrestlers who've done hardcore matches jizzing on your face and sucking their cocks.

Al is murmuring and thinking what a dirty, cock addicted slut you while he grins at you, and Christian and Jeff can hear what Al's saying, they both agree with him.

You want Christian and Jeff (and Al and even Raven's) precum as well as jizz in general all over your face, so while still grasping onto Christian and Jeff's cocks, you moved their penises to point at your forehead, your hands still cranked up and down their shafts.

Some of their precum was dripping onto your face and sliding down your cheeks, and that's what you want.

Al sees Christian and Jeff masturbating on your face as well as your hands pumping up and down their shafts, so Al wrapped his fingers around his shaft and pointed his dick at your face, where he jacked off on your face.

His penis head was nudging the middle of your face, making sure his precum spills out of his slit and on your face.

Some of his precum is landing on your face, where some of his other precum is spilling down his erection.

Your eyes have been closed luckily thanks to being in ecstasy and turned on over Raven fucking you with his hard, massive cock.

You haven't been faking your orgasm, Raven is making you feel like this.

You don't just want Al's cock, but Christian and Jeff's as well, they're way sexier men, so you pulled their cocks down to your mouth again and shifted your mouth over to Christian's cock, now paying attention to his dick this time.

Though, damn, you'd love to lick and suck on all of these cocks in front of you, maybe you will do that.

Your tongue licked Christian's cock at first, only to pull his dick into your mouth and suck on it.

You also unwrapped your fingers off of Christian's shaft and wrapped them around Al's dick this time, proceeding to try to masturbate him.

Christian saw you now sucking his penis, which made him unwrap his fingers off of his shaft, his fingers now sticky in precum.

You didn't just suck on Christian's cock, but also licked it as well, licking up any precum spilling down his shaft and swallowing his precum.

Your tongue is caressing Christian's cock like how it caresses any penis.

It's a little difficult for you suck on Christian's dick while masturbating Al's cock in front of your face, so you let go of Al's penis, which shocked him and made his eyes widen.

However, Al saw Christian and Jeff jerking themselves off on your face, so he aimed and pointed his cock at your face this time, he continued to masturbate his dick.

His precum was landing on your face, thank God your eyes were closed.

Since you have 2 wrestlers on the same side of your face, Al walked around Christian and stopped walking until Christian was in the middle instead of Al.

Al pointed his penis at your face, still jerking his cock off.

Your nipples were in between Raven's fingers, meanwhile, whilst he squeezed and pressed them.

Your pussy has been getting even more moist than before from having so much sexual arousal.

Christian is tempted into crotch chopping and shouting "suck it!" a la D Generation X, but again, that's becoming outdated.

Though, it would make this gangbang sexier.

D Generation X had already broken up by the end of the year 2000.

As you suck on Christian's dick, you're moaning and mumbling "mmmmmmmm" over and over quite a bit with his cock in between your mouth and lips.

Raven's fingers have bunched up until your nipples are under his fingers, where he tweaked and turned your nipples.

You've been sucking on Christian's cock for quite a bit, and you want them to not just cum on your face (and in your mouth), but your breasts as well.

When you reached the top of Christian's penis, you slid your face over to Jeff's cock, letting his penis inside your mouth.

Saving the best for last.

Jeff lit up deep down inside when it was his turn now, he smiled from ear to ear.

Jeff unwrapped his fingers off of his shaft when it was his turn to get blown, letting your mouth engulf his cock.

Your lips and head bobbed up and down his shaft, swallowing his precum leaking out of his slit.

Your tongue and mouth could taste his salty precum on his erection, your mouth was sucking the precum off of his dick.

Christian, meanwhile, has wrapped his fingers around his shaft again, and since he's a bit far away from you this time, he walked around Al and Jeff until Jeff was now standing in the middle, where once he was standing next to Jeff, he proceeded to wrap his fingers around his shaft and start pumping his cock again, masturbating and jerking off on your face until some precum is leaking out of his dick and on your face.

Now, again, Christian isn't jacking off Jeff or Al, he's masturbating himself.

You're moaning while sucking on Jeff's cock, moaning "mmmmmmmmmm" sometimes while sucking it.

You don't just wanna get precum on your face, but your breasts as well, so when you reached the top of Jeff's cock, you turned your head and told Raven to sit down and you'll ride his lap.

Raven listened to you, where he removed his hands off of your breasts and wrapped his arms around your waist, his fingers grabbing onto one of his arms, where he sat down on the bench and pulled you onto his lap, where now you were sitting up straight in front of him, riding and bouncing up and down his cock.

Al and Christian (and Jeff, too) remembered how you wanted them to jack off and jizz on your breasts as well, so they directed their penises to your tits, the tips of their cocks now pointing and nudging at your breasts.

They still continued jacking and jerking off on your breasts, precum spilling out of their slits and sometimes on your breasts.

They didn't just do that, but held the tips of their penises to your areolas, pressing them there, where they made their penises run circles on your areolas while still jerking off.

Sometimes, they stopped doing that, just holding and pressing the tips of their cocks on your areolas so they can jizz on them.

Some of their precum is dripping down your tits, which is what you want, but you don't just want their precum on your breasts.

You've sucked on Jeff's cock for long enough, so when you reached the tip of his penis, you took it out of your mouth, where you directed his cock to your chest this time.

He saw Al and Christian jerking off on your breasts, so Jeff started to masturbate his cock over one of your breasts, aiming the tip of his penis to your tit.

Precum did fall out of his slit and onto your breast, some of his precum spilling down his shaft.

Raven, meanwhile, while you're riding him, his face is buried in the back of your neck, where he's biting a small part of your neck and sucking it.

You wailed and whimpered while he sunk his teeth into your neck, though he isn't biting you too hard.

One of his hands has moved to your clitoris, where his fingers are vertically furiously rubbing up and down your clit, trying to make you cum.

Though, men cum before women do.

Your high pitched moans have been filling up the locker room, thank God the door is closed and no one's in this locker room besides 4 other wrestlers.

However, you wouldn't mind if people saw this moment.

You're moaning Raven's name whilst you ride him and he's fucking you.

Speaking of cum, since they've been having their dicks pleasured for a long time, Al Snow was the first one to cum, groaning and moaning while he jizzed.

His cum gushed and spurted out of his slit, trickling down his shaft and dripping onto your tit.

Your eyes opened and quickly looked at Al's crotch, only to find his cock leaking his cum.

Your eyes quickly darted to your breast that Al had jizzed on, you saw his white, milk-like cum drenching your tit, and you don't just mean clear precum.

Your hand grabbed onto Al's penis and directed it to your other breast while his dick was still leaking his jizz out.

You wanted his cum all over you.

While you held his penis above your other breast, his semen kept dripping onto your breast, his jizz trickling down your tit.

You directed his penis to your face, where you leaned your head back and let his cum drip on your face.

Your hand motioned his cock around your face, getting his jizz all over your face, your eyes luckily were closed.

Your mouth was also agape and wide open, wanting his cum in your mouth, and some of his hot milky cum was getting inside your mouth.

Speaking of jizz, Raven was the next one to cum (that rhymed), where he throatily groaned while he ejaculated into your twat.

His teeth bit down hard into your flesh while he came, and hearing him make that groan meant one thing.

You lifted and pulled yourself off of his lap, where his penis exited your pussy, and he knew the drill now that he's came.

He lifted one of his legs over the bench and lifted himself off of the bench, where he held his penis to one of your breasts, his slit still leaking his jizz out of his cock.

His cum was dripping onto your breast, and when his sperm landed on your tit, it ran down it like a raindrop on a window.

He could see Al Snow's jizz on your other breast, so with his fingers still wrapped around his cock, he directed his penis to your other breast, sometimes even cranking his fingers up and down his shaft to cum even more.

His jizz is still leaking out of his slit and dropping onto your breast, his cum mixing with other men's precum.

Your fingers grasped onto Raven's cock and shoved it to your face, letting his jizz drench and drip all over your face.

His seed was dripping out of his slit like water dripping out of a faucet.

With your mouth still open, you moved Raven's dick to your mouth and let his cum drip into your mouth.

His cum landed behind your bottom row of teeth as well as onto your tongue.

Since you want Christian and Jeff to cum on you as well, you told them you want them to move their dicks to your face, maybe they'll cum on your face.

They obeyed you, directing their penises to your face this time, still jacking off on your face.

Eventually, Christian had jizzed, exclaiming he's gonna cum before he did it, his eyes rolling to the top of his head and his mouth agape whilst he ejaculated.

His slit released his seed out, his cum dripping down his shaft, some of his cum also landing on your face.

He held his cock over your face, making sure his jizz gets on your face, and it did, his white cum leaking down your face.

Your mouth was still open and you stuck your tongue out, hoping to catch his jizz on your tongue like it's a snowflake.

His cum did land on your tongue, his cum salty and seeping into your tongue, where you rolled your tongue back in your mouth.

You ordered him to move his penis to your chest quickly while his slit is still gushing, and he directed and moved his cock to one of your breasts, pushing his fingers up his shaft until his jizz is landing on your breast.

Some of his cum did land on your breast and is dripping down it, your eyes have been looking at his dick drip his semen.

When you felt like you had enough of his cum on one of your breasts, you moved his cock to the other breast and let his dick drip his seed onto your tit.

Jeff was the last one to cum, where he jizzed on your face, shutting his eyes while he came, some of his cum getting on your face and dripping on your breast and thigh.

You wrapped your fingers around his shaft and pulled his dick to the middle of your face, letting his cum drip onto your face.

Your eyes were closed, hoping that you don't get his jizz in your eyes since that hurts so much, and your mouth was open hoping you get his cum into your mouth.

His cum did get inside of your mouth, hopefully you won't choke on it.

You moved his cock still dripping his cum to one of your breasts, letting his jizz drip on one of your breasts, then moved it to the other breast and getting your tit soaked in his cum.

You've got cum and precum dripping down your face and your breasts, your face and tits look like they have candlewax and lotion dripping down your skin.

Now that you're all drenched in cum, it's time to clean up, but not yourself.

You want to be drenched in so many wrestlers cum and you have, but that cum eventually washes off...

You ordered for these wrestlers to insert the tips of their cocks halfway into your mouth, so their seed could drip in your mouth.

They listened to you, wrapping their fingers around their shafts and holding their penises to your mouth, their penis heads half way into your mouth.

The sides of your mouth stretched out so their cocks will get into your mouth.

Cum was still dripping out of their slits, and your mouth was holding and gathering their jizz.

Some of their cum did seep into your tongue, where you were also there to swallow their semen, other times their cum landed behind your bottom teeth, where the tip of your tongue licked across only to swallow it.

You want cum to drip out of these men's dicks for a long time, and you want their seeds to drench your face and tits in jizz some more.

"Can you guys jack off some more on my face?" you asked. "I want more cum on my face and my tits!"

Al's eyes grew wide hearing that, so did Jeff and Christian's, but they can give it a go.

While these 4 wrestlers stood in front of you circling around you, they started jacking their cocks off and pointing the tips of their penises at your face, their slits still leaking their jizz onto your face.

Their cum did spill onto your face like honey slowly dripping.

They then moved their penises to your breasts, letting their seed drip onto your tits and watching their cum drip down your breasts.

You wish these men could cum and burst like a fire hydrant, that way their cum would get all over your face and breasts.

Now that you're all drenched in cum, it's time to clean up, but not yourself.

You'd love to suck on all of their penises at the same time, even if it's difficult.

Your fingers wrapped around Christian and Jeff's penises and held them close to your face, while you leaned into Al's crotch and let his penis into your mouth one last time.

Your mouth sucked on Al's cock, your mouth going up Al's cock while you sucked it.

Your mouth swallowed both his cum and his precum, while your tongue licked vertically up his shaft.

Even though you love sucking on one cock, you wouldn't mind sucking other cocks as well in your mouth...

The sides of your mouth stretched out, as well as your mouth in general widened.

"Raven!" you said. "Could you try to put your cock in my mouth?"

Is she gonna try to put my dick in her mouth? he thought, looking puzzled. While having other cocks in her mouth?

He remembers what a dirty girl you were back in the day, and you still haven't changed.

He shrugged his shoulders, only to lift his penis and trying to insert it into your mouth, sliding his dick next to the side of your mouth.

It was a bit of a tight fit, but whatever.

Their penises are becoming more flaccid after jizzing.

Your hands pulled and tried to fit Christian and Jeff's dicks into your mouth as well, their eyes growing wide over you actually trying to do this, inserting their penises into an empty space in your mouth.

If it doesn't work out, you can always do something else.

Their penises were halfway in your mouth, though this is gonna be difficult trying to put so many cocks in your mouth as well as suck on them.

You tried sucking on all of these cocks in your mouth despite it being difficult, as well as tried to raise your tongue and lick up their shafts.

Did it work?

No, not really.

So, you pulled Christian's penis out of your mouth as well as Jeff's, since this wasn't working all too well.

Raven and Al saw you pulling Christian and Jeff's dicks out of your mouth, which surprised them, and even Jeff and Christian looked a bit puzzled.

It really didn't work out all too well putting 4 dicks in your mouth.

Nice idea, bad execution.

Besides, you want to swallow their cum as well as rub their jizz on your lips like it's lipstick.

Raven pulled his penis out of your mouth, with Al's cock in your mouth this time.

You pulled your head away from Al's penis, much to his dismay, which upset him at first, but you have some 'spainin' to do.

"Sorry Al" you confessed. "You'll have your turn soon"

While still holding onto Christian's penis, you moved the tip of his cock to your lips, where you slid his penis head across your upper lip like it's a lipstick, rubbing his jizz across your top lip.

Despite that his slit was barely leaking any cum, some of his cum was spreading across your top lip, and when his penis head reached the corner of your mouth, you made his penis rub across your top lip back and forth, horizontally, left and right across your top lip.

Christian as well as these other 3 wrestlers were viewing this, this was so unusual and strange, but Christian doesn't mind this.

In fact, he's grinning whilst you rub the tip of his penis across your top lip.

Though, you wish his slit could gush more cum out.

When you felt like you had enough of rubbing his dick back and forth across your top lip, you shifted his penis to your bottom lip, where you slid his penis head across your bottom lip, spreading his jizz across your lip.

You rubbed his penis head back and forth across your bottom lip like before, and after that was over, you pulled his penis into your open mouth and started sucking on his cock, your tongue licking up any semen that ran down his shaft.

Your tongue caressed vertically up his cock, licking up the jizz that had sunk into your tongue, your tongue reaching to the top of his penis.

Your mouth and throat muscles were swallowing his cum and precum while your tongue caressed up his seed.

He barely had any cum on his shaft since his dick was previously in your mouth while you tried putting other penises in your mouth.

Al, Jeff, Christian and even Raven are all tempted into shouting "suck it!" and crotch chopping their hands over their genitals, but...that's quite outdated.

When you were done sucking Christian's penis, you let go of his shaft and moved onto Al's penis next, where you rubbed his penis head back and forth across both of your lips and gave him a blowjob afterwards, swallowing his cum and licking his jizz off of his shaft.

After that, you rubbed Raven and Jeff's penis heads across your lips and gave them blowjobs, swallowing their cum and licking their shafts you saved Jeff for last because he's probably the hottest out of all of these men.

You wish Rob Van Dam could've been a part of this gangbang, he did a few hardcore matches over in ECW, though sadly, he was in ECW at the end of the year 2000.

When you had some time in ECW as well as the WWF, you were pictured naked wearing wrestling belts for the hardcore championship title across your "bathing suit areas", across your tits and vagina, wearing those belts like they're a tube top and miniskirt.

That picture was turned into a poster and T-shirt that read "I like it...hardcore".

You even pitched an idea to the WWF creative staff in December 2000, before Raven and Al Snow grew facial hair again, where, since they've done some hardcore matches (once to each other!) you try seducing them into doing it hardcore with them, hardcore as in sex.

Hardcore porn is very heavily sexually explicit porn, porn that's very graphic and NSFW, that's why you had the most sexually graphic gangbang with 2 wrestlers that have done hardcore matches as well as 2 pseudo-hardcore wrestlers.

_____________________________________________________________

Raven (yes, the Raven I typed about in this fanfic, the same Raven from WCW and ECW and yes, the WWF/E, TNA and Ring of Honor who played Scotty Flamingo and Johnny Polo before becoming Raven) has a podcast, and in 2017, he discussed on his podcast with Billy Corgan (yes, from Smashing Pumpkins) about erotic wrestling fanfiction and what a massive treasure trove there is of it.

Just imagine if Raven discovered some of my erotic wrestling fanfics, especially some of the ones I've typed about him!

[the-family-we-choose-118]

Why I Think Albert Doesn't Die in 4B: A Meta Post

Maybe this is me reaching or some really wishful thinking, but i don't think albert is the one who dies, though i think he does get seriously injured (explanation below the cut so hear me out lol)

Based on scenes from 3b, 4a, the 4b promos, and some interviews done after 4x08 about 4x09.

In multiple interviews (one example below ⬇), Tim has stressed that there is going to be a divide between Bobby and Athena because he feels that she's too independent and won't let him in when she has issues. 4b is being set up to build off of last season's attack at the storage unit. Athena has made peace with the attack, so it will take something (encountering the attacker, being trapped while looking for a suspect, a storage unit, or experiencing other trauma) to act as the catalyst to trigger her into needing Bobby's help but refusing to ask. Albert dying will in no way drive or affect this plot line and will only really heavily affect Chimney, Maddie, and Buck and maybe Chris and Eddie.

Tim did a different interview where he said that multiple characters will be in life or death situations ⬇

As far as we know from the promo Hen, Buck, Bobby, Athena, May, Eddie, and Chimney are working the crash and Maddie is shown at work going into labor or having false contractions. None are likely contenders for a life or death situation, which leaves the side characters. Since this involves a massive pile-up, and we already know that Albert is in one car, that leaves three others.

The scenario I see best playing out in term of writing and setting up 4b and going into season 5 is this:

Albert gets horribly injured in the crash and has a long recovery. (This plays into 4a when Taylor said Buck was selfish and has no real friends because he doesn't know how to treat a friend.) If Albert gets injured and has a long recovery, he has 2 options for care. He either moves back in with Madney (but they have their hands full with the baby) or he stays with Buck, who has had to recover from a serious injury before. By staying with Buck, he learns how to really care for a friend unselfishly (tho we're gonna ignore the Buddie friendship for a minute bc the writers did). This also gives them the opportunity to set Albert and Buck up in a friendship so Buck can have friends outside the 118.

OR Albert goes into a coma because the writers are playing with a lot of characters right now and I don't think they know what to do with Albert and how to give him enough screen time for anything meaningful to happen. This way, they can revisit his arc in the future. Also, imagine Chimney and Maddie getting ready to take their daughter home and stopping by Albert's room to introduce their baby to her Uncle Albert 😭 Putting Albert in a coma or giving him a long recovery time is something that could be revisited at the end of the season easily.

I think the 3 others in jeopardy are in one car and I think it is Michael, David, and Harry after going to dinner one night or something and I think they are at the center of the crash.

I think the person who dies is Michael or David, mainly because of this interview ⬇

First, they've brought in David, but like Albert's storyline, they can't fit him in enough for it to really be meaningful. We see them meet towards the end of season 3 and by season 4 they have quarantined together (even though David is on the front lines) and are now living together. Most of their story occurs off screen. The only reason we even saw Michael and David in most of 4a was because it was a storyline attached to Athena and Bobby. Killing off David is less characters to deal with and would affect Bobby and Athena, but not to a degree I would see it driving a wedge in their own relationship. It would affect Michael and encourage him to complete his bucket list he referenced in 4a but it wouldn't have an impact on the whole 118.

Both Bobby and Athena are really close with Michael, though I'm gonna focus on Bobby for a minute. If Michael dies suddenly, that "lighthearted and hilarious" relationship "quickly turns on a dime" and suddenly it "ends up being quite emotional" because Bobby is dealing with losing a friend. This could also dredge up those feelings of having lost his family in a fire and not being able to save them because Michael is now part of Bobby's family. Later in the season, it would be easy to revisit if Harry is mad that his step dad and dad's boyfriend weren't able to save his dad. Bobby would be dealing with his feelings of losing a friend while trying to help Athena (who doesn't want help) deal with the loss of her ex husband.

Shifting the focus to Athena, Michael dying would absolutely devastate Athena. They were married for nearly 2 decades and he is still a close friend and confidante. Losing her ex husband at the site of a crash she responded to would be traumatic. And if you compound that with her unresolved trauma from the attack, now you've got Athena trying to deal with everything on her own and not asking for help. Now Bobby gets mad/sad/distanced because Athena won't ask for help and he needs his own support from her. And maybe she is giving that support but she won't let him reciprocate it and now you have a recipe for anger and unresolved grief that begins to drive them apart.

Focusing on May for a moment, she became an operator because she wanted to make sure Athena was never alone in the field. Though I can't imagine her taking the call for Michael because he is on the line when Albert is injured, her dad dying in a crash she responded to would likely drive her out of the field and into college or another path (1 less character to have around to try to give screen time.)

Michael's death was also foreshadowed in 4a when Athena is concerned he gets the telescope and is spying on neighbors. He talks about having a bucket list that he never got to do because the pandemic forced him into isolation. He also talked about how his only concern during the cancer was preparing his kids for losing him.

Michael's plot is stagnant. He is happy and living with his boyfriend and son. He's cancer free. His whole plot is tied up in a nice bow where they could easily kill him off and the only loose threads to deal with on screen are his family members and friends grieving his loss. This would impact the 118 as a whole.

Honestly, I thought they were going to kill off Michael when he first got cancer and he decided to stop treatments but they bad May talk to him and convince him to go through with the treatments.

Now, by killing off Michael, it is 2 less stories they have to tell, and it is less they'll have to include storylines for Harry as much as they were because he was linked to Michael's storyline. And if they have May decide to leave the field to pursue other dreams or complete her dad's bucket list for him, that is 4 less storylines where they can now focus on the Madney baby, Bathena's relationship, introducing friends for Buck (they mentioned brining back Taylor), focus on ending Eddie/Ana, and establishing Albert as a character (based on a quote from the above article, I think Albert's storyline is going to parallel Buck's 1.0 to 2.0 phase ➡ "If you think about how we ended season 2, Buck being smashed by the firetruck. We knew he was going to survive... I would expect something similar here.")

Referring back to that first article, where it says "Then look for a significant source of agitation for the entire 118."

At this point, Michael would have passed and Bobby and Athena are now having marital problems AKA mom and dad are fighting.

Hen would be stuck in the middle because she is good friends with both Bobby and Athena. She is also facing her own loss of Nia being returned to her birth mom and doesn't have time for their marital problems but still tries to help. She can also pull from her experiences from the season 1 cheating storyline to tell them to communicate or it'll ruin their relationship (yes i too hate that storyline but it would work here)

Buck would likely (nonverbally) side with Bobby, but he sees them both as parental figures, so he gets stuck in the middle like a middle child who is just going with the flow. This would also parallel the Buck Begins storyline where Buck feels caught in the middle after his parents face a loss.

Chimney is raising a baby and (if this theory is right) worrying about Albert in a coma or recovering from a massive injury. He has no time for their marital problems but still lets Bobby confide in him and gives advice (maybe this is just cause i wanna see the bobby/chim friendship we used to get in s1)

Eddie sides with Bobby but he thinks the whole argument is dumb. He can also offer advice to Bobby based on his own experience, but it's going to be something about communication, at which point Bobby will start ripping his hair out because why won't she just tell me her problems and let me help?

Lastly, when have we ever known the show to go ahead and give a major spoiler of the episode 2 weeks in advance? They let us speculate about Daniel for like 8 months and imo it wasn't as big of a deal as they made it out to be. It seems more likely to me that they offered the promo to get the viewers with a twist ending when the show comes back.

Feel free to share your thoughts if you made it this far lol

TL;DR Based on the interviews Tim has done, Albert dying would have little impact on the 118 as a whole, but Michael dying would offer exactly what they need to set up season 5 and finish 4b.

[vampiredrooling]

Okay, so;

“My pride HC's for him actually tie into more general HC's I have about how fairies work as a whole!! I'll spare you from that whole ramble though ^^'”

Go on? Please?? Ramble your heart out!!

THAT'S SO KIND.. I gave this ramble to my friend yesterday (Ty Eddie :D) SO I'm gonna try and clean it up a little bit, HOPEFULLY it isn't all over the place-

The part that ties into his pride identities specifically; godparents are specially assigned to their perfect godkids! In canon, this is only lightly touched upon, and sometimes it's retconned to say they're assigned randomly, but I think the first option is much more charming and gives Timmy's relationship with them even more meaning! As shown in "Abra-Catastrophe!", most godkids have their godparents for less than a year..it's considered a huge accomplishment to manage to keep your fairies for more than a year, and children who do so are thrown big parties and given a special rule free wish! This makes Timmy an even more special case, he's BEYOND the perfect match for Cosmo and Wanda, to the point where they can not lose him. It is shown that they can not function without each other- they're a family!! In the HC sense, ALL of that to say, due to a lot of Cosmo's traits (dysphoric transman, autistic/adhd, having a mother that's,,not the best,) and Wanda's expertise in being kind, understanding, and extremely helpful and loving towards him, they're both wonderfully equipped to handle such things, and for that reason 95% of the godchildren they have ever been assigned to have been LGBTQ+ and/or neurodivergent. Timmy, for example, is an autistic transboy, making Cosmo and Wanda not only his perfect match in personality, but in helping and understanding him with things that the mostly neglectful humans around him are no help with.

This is why back in the 70's they were assigned to Crocker, and were SUPPOSED to be able to help him in all the same ways they helped Timmy. Things went wrong due to shitty writing and now Crocker is left a broken man due to the unfortunate circumstances- it ideally wasn't supposed to play out that way, but no matter what anyone did, Crocker was destined to prematurely lose his fairies.

This part's unrelated to the pride and specially assigned part, but just continuing on Crocker stuff,, The next thing I believe happens to EVERY past godkid, and that's memory relapses. Most past-godkids at some point in their adult lives will have a weird memory or a strong sense of deja-vu, occasionally remembering an event that occurred with their godparent, but chalking it up to their imagination (as in "Did that happen? No, there's no way." and moving on with their adult lives) Overall, they are pretty harmless, and often mistaken for dreams. This is especially common in godchildren who lose their godparents through the natural process, but that's a whole other story jefhef

POINT IS, Crocker gets these a LOT a lot, more frequently than any other past godkid has. And he NEVER leaves it to his imagination. He is dedicated to proving what he knows to be real, and documents any and everything he remembers. As the series goes on, it is clear that he knows a lot more than he did originally, and is much more invigorated by fairy hunting as a whole (By the end of the series though they stop caring and he's straight up just allowed to talk to Cosmo and Wanda, which I guess is only natural given the show going on WAY way way too long). He's been shown to subconsciously be drawn to pink and green, which I find super fascinating! I believe most godkids grow up to be subconsciously drawn to certain colors and animals that tie back to their prior-godparent. He is also shown to be more drawn specifically to hunting Cosmo, due to the fact that he had only acquired his DNA in the Secret Origins, and him likely being more drawn to Cosmo than Wanda as a child due to him being a transman and father (something he does not have) to look up to. (Not in like a..sappy way or anything though jgbhjg, I'm not sure how to reword that, I hope it doesn't sound silly.) The outline always shown on most of his fairy-hunting devices is Cosmo, the Crocker-Cave has outlines and drawings of him, he has more photos of him (in-part due to Cosmo's obliviousness), aaand if I remember correctly occasionally when Crocker draws fairies he'll give them spiky hair similar to Cosmo's?? Don't quote me on that last one though,,, Throughout the series, he begins to remember more, including fairy weaknesses, traits about fairy culture in general, and even comes VERY very close to remembering Cosmo and Wanda's names on his own which is a big thing that I LOVE

SO! THANK YOU so much for giving me the chance to ramble..I have more HC's and love for FOP than I do any other media and it's so nice to get to talk about em', even if it might not be super coherent :'!!

[kitchenscene]

austin’s 911 / buddie fic rec

[ long post, so all fics are under the cut ]

tags: @michaelgrantnash , @bisexualbuck , @terryjeffordss

﹂cause love is whatever we want it to be by wafflesofdoom

summary: "he and buck, there was a sort of an inevitability to their relationship that scared eddie to his core, sometimes – but more and more now, he was realising that his fear was holding him back from something amazing.he –well, eddie was going to sweep buck off his feet."

personal opinion: there’s this line – ‘falling for you just felt inevitable’ –that just stuck with me. this is one of those fics that i’ll probably still be thinking about years from now.

﹂the ivory keys by tkreyesevandiaz

summary: buck didn’t think he’d come back to this one thing again. as a kid, he’d crashed into the habit like a beautiful accident. he’d stumbled upon the old instrument in the guest house where his parents usually held brunches and parties for other aristocrats in their circles, at age eight. after hearing the reverberating sound from the keys, it became an obsession to learn.

personal opinion: very very very sweet. i literally had dreams about this fic after i read it.

﹂encore by pline

summary: “I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

Or

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

personal opinion: oh my GOD oh my god i love time loops. the angst !!! (make sure you read the tags though for tw)

﹂knocking on heaven’s door by MomentsOfWeakness

summary: buck isn’t sure where he is. the last thing he remembers was being out on a call. now he’s here, in a place he has never seen before surrounded by people he doesn't know. it's bright. that's all he can really tell.

based on a tumblr prompt where someone asked for buck and chris both ending up in purgatory at the same time before they ever met in life. buck has a ticket back to the living world but he gives it to chris who is supposed to die. an old man, seeing what buck did for chris, decides to give his own ticket for the living world to buck, because the world needs more people like him.

personal opinion: i included this on an old fic rec post and i’m linking it again because i love it. this is so poetic and lovely.

﹂eddie begins by malmal88

summary: these are words he’s never spoken out loud before. each experience that counts as proof has been folded up and carefully tucked away inside of himself. he spent all the time in between each one of the cornerstone moments trying to prove to himself, to his father, to anyone who was paying attention that it wasn’t true. he was almost successful at it. but there is only so long you can deny who you are.

personal opinion: this is part of a three fic series, and it’s one of my fav eddie centric fics. all three together are a masterpiece.

﹂i’ll see you in my dreams by talk_too_much

summary: in which buck finds himself inexplicably married to his best friend, but it’s fine, he’s figuring it out.

personal opinion: this is part one of a two fic series, definitely read both of them. not much i can say plot wise without spoiling it, but this is a fic that i come back too a lot.

﹂it wasn’t fate that led me to you by theskyisblue

summary: evan buckley was seven years old when his vision for the red string of fate came to life. his mother had talked with him for hours that day, explaining to him what he saw, why he saw what he saw, and how he should never breathe a word to a single soul about what he saw. he was still too young to understand that the red string of fate was more complicated than his seven-year-old mind made it out to be, that love was far more complex than a simple fated partner and a happily ever after.

personal opinion: oh it’s got a Moral at the end, which i like. happy ending, but not in the way you’d think.

﹂carnations by red_to_black

summary: evan buckley has never once been given flowers in his life. that is, until he mentions it in a fit of self-pity at the firehouse. then they're everywhere. what he can't work out is where they're coming from.

(or: buck mentions never getting flowers before, and a certain someone decides to remedy that.)

personal opinion: one of those fics where it’s so cute that i have to set my phone down for a sec and take a few breaths or else i’ll get overwhelmed. love love love.

﹂kiss me like you mean it by HaleyDingle

summary: 5 times eddie kisses buck + 1 time he really kisses him.

personal opinion: i think i’ve reread this like five times at least. very sweet.

﹂stick with you by soft_satan

summary: eddie licked his dry lips as he reached for his radio, trying to keep his movements slow and delicate to prevent any more damage to himself or buck.

“Diaz to Captain Nash.”

“Go for Nash,” came Bobby’s quick reply.

“You two okay? Where are you?”

“We’re in a bit of a sticky situation here…”

“We’re a shish kabob, Cap!” Buck chimed in. Eddie rolled his eyes.

personal opinion: oooh babey the angst. the self sacrificing bullshit. i love it.

﹂to glimpse red by tkreyesevandiaz

summary: red was the color of passion, of seduction, of happiness and prosperity. it was the color of danger, of fire, of violence, of blood. but in this moment, red was the color of pure terror.

personal opinion: oh im a slut for navy seals!buck and this delivers.

﹂the urgency of now by wayfarer

summary: buck is pretty sure the universe is actively trying to murder him at this point. there’s just no other explanation. in the last two years he has been blown up and subsequently crushed by a fire truck, suffered from a pulmonary embolism, nearly drowned in a tsunami and now this. how many times can he almost die before it stops being an accident and starts being some kind of cosmic hit put out on his life?

or, a building collapses on Buck and Eddie. confessions ensue.

personal opinion: i don’t usually cry when i read fics but this made me cry like a little baby.

﹂if i didn’t have you by rebeccaofsbfarm

summary: Eddie groans, but he gets down on his knee, setting their beers on the pavement. He works to unknot the laces, then ties them again. He goes to stand, but Buck stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Eddie…” he looks up to see that Buck’s eyes are the size of dinner plates. He leans on his knee, trying to understand why Buck is so flustered, and then he hears the shutter of a camera. In his peripheral, he sees that a crowd has gathered around them, and half of the people have their phones out, recording.

Eddie’s eyes connect with Buck’s, and while he is panicked, Buck is trying so hard not to laugh that there are tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. The crowd must see it and misread it as Buck being overcome with emotion, because they coo in response.

“Fuck,” Eddie curses under his breath, quiet enough that only Buck can hear him. “What do I do here?”

Buck snorts, “Sorry man, I think you’ve got to commit now.”

personal opinion: fuck dating we’re skipping straight to proposals.

﹂waves (it comes and goes) by SunSpell80

summary: evan buckley left his past behind when he left home for good at age 19. but an unexpected phone call on a quiet shift disrupts the life he's built for himself: forcing him to confront his past in order to build a new future.

personal opinion: make sure you read the tws but oooOOh the slowburn ? the family drama ? i live for it

﹂you’re gonna have a great time by waytotheend

summary: chris leaves a list of 20 things buck can do to cheer eddie up while he's at camp; somehow it turns into a 20 steps plan to woo eddie.

personal opinion: ‘i don’t know buck, i’m nine’ sends me every time.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Would you mind telling us some of the un-picked/left over titles please?

sure! theres a ton so i’ll put them under a cut

some of them were planned main storyline oneshots that i cut, or alternate titles for oneshots for example

a monologue shot underwater - the flashback conversation between Durant and Greta in even to the edge of doom was originally going to be its own, separate oneshot with this title, from Depression Is Funny Like That, by Reagan Myers. It was going to go between like my pulse beneath it and a field of burning lavender

becoming ash without ever having been coal - Greta’s “yeah im definitely an actual witch” conversation at the end of for who would inhabit this bleak world alone? was going to be separate, and the fight Virgil rescued her from was with humans, not an ogre. its from Head Over Heels by Emi Mahmoud. was going to involve a lot of Greta making macabre “burnt at the stake” jokes

it is the habit of the living - original title for might have cherished you more wisely, from The Translation of Grief by Hieu Minh Nguyen

armfuls of poppy blossoms - another alternate title for might have cherished you more wisely, from Life In Reverse by Gray Thomas

a love that was more than love - the cut Patton backstory discussed in this ask, from Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe

sweet moment stay with me - a royality bonding oneshot that was going to be after what you choose to put in the ground and before confuse my tongue with your tombstone - i may eventually re-write this as an Extra, but at the time i was concerned about taking too long to get to the actual LAMP part of my LAMP au, and i was worried people would lose interest. from Hold You In My Smile by Ernestine Northover

not sleep nor dreams nor peace - essentially the original title of Sleepsong, which was going to be part of the main storyline - virgil’s perspective of the time in the casket. from Remember by Michael Lee

the future has been at war (but its coming home so soon) - an epilogue after of quiet birds in circled flight, before i’d decided i was gonna write the extras. from The Future by Neil Hilborn

hold on when there is nothing in you - alternate title for even to the edge of doom, from If by Ruyard Kipling

let me be my whole self tonight - alternate title for hoping that the whole makes sense, from Hangover Thoughts by Matt Coonan

and finally i waffled for AGES on what i wanted of quiet birds in circled flight to be titled - options included but no man can help you die (Solitude by Ella Wheeler Wilcox), life means all that it ever meant (Death Is Nothing At All by Henry Scoot Holland), no prayer nor bells nor any voice of mourning (Anthem for a Doomed Youth by Wilfred Owen) and finally, and this all mourners know (from A Dream Lies Dead, by Dorothy Parker)

some others that i just liked/ wrote down but didnt have any planned use for

and with no need of tears - A Happy Man, Edwin Arlington

in the center of me hangs a small bell - What I Told The Doctor The Second Time, Sabrina Benaim

God let me be this happy again - Replay, Jesse Parent

I’m so soft i cant be broken - The Shotgun Cabinet, Alex Dang and Dante Douglas

death owns everything i love - Cancer Suite, Talia Young

the only way up is to hit the ground - Bathtub, Asia Samson

if today were the last today - This Woman, Alysia Harris

held together by prayers- Eddie the Butterfly, Hasani Harris

as you can see i uhhhhh really like poetry aljksajlkd

[barrysimpulse]

Favourite flash episodes from any season?

Ooo that’s a hard one, but I have a LOT. I’ll give my favorites from each season.

Season 1: 1x01 “Pilot” I don't know what other way to describe it except for the word: YES. It started my obsession if I’m being honest.

1x20 “The Trap” I have no idea why I like this one so much, it’s just a really good episode to me. The whole Cisco in the dream scene never fails to make me laugh, and then Joe not giving Eddie his permission to propose to Iris. There’s just so many good parts of this episode.

Season 2: 2x13, 2x14 “Welcome to Earth-2″ “Escape from Earth-2″ Earth-2 feels like a fever dream tbh, I loved Barry acting like Earth-2 Barry and the whole doppelgängers stuff. We heard about Earth-2, so finally seeing it was so cool. It’s one of the best of the season, IMO.

 2x16 “Trajectory” It’s one of those episodes that I just can’t explain why I love it. I think the whole club Westallen scene is golden, the whole “promise me if we get married, you won’t do that dance at our wedding.” and then Barry’s response. It just makes me die of laughter I have no idea why.

Season 3(there’s a lot here): 3x04 “The New Rogues” solely because of the Westallen scenes, and Barry with the pillow on his lap kills me every single time.

3x09 “The Present” As heartbreaking as this episode is, I always seem to rewatch it. I think it’s just a really good storytelling episode, it moves the story along drastically that keeps you intrigued.

3x17 “Duet” I mean it’s Grant AND Melissa singing. Plus Darren Criss, it’s too good not to love. And the Westallen proposal at the end, *chef’s kiss*. It’s safe to say I have this episode memorized.

3x19 “The Once and Future Flash” I cry every time during this episode but it's just really good. Barry not caring about Caitlin turning full Killer Frost and trying to save Iris just makes me so happy. I have that whole time vault scene between Present and 2024 Barry memorized, it’s a problem.

3x21 “Cause and Effect” Barry with no memories is the funniest thing ever, it never fails to make me die of laughter.

(I would include 3x22 and 3x23, but I cry too hard so that makes me dislike them.)

Season 4:(possibly my favorite season): 4x01 (The Flash Reborn) Barry coming back made me be able to exhale. I had been waiting so long for that. And then my Westallen is united, it’s just happiness.

4x15 “Enter Flashtime” This might be my favorite episode EVER. I can't describe how much I love it, the whole lighting rod concept finally being so clear, I cry happy tears, man.

4x16 “Run, Iris, Run” My favorite character(besides Barry) getting speed. Ugh, YES. My heart during that cortex hug, it explodes.

Season 5: 5x05 “All Doll’d Up” I mean...Iris jumped off a freakin building for Barry, enough said.

Season 6: 6x07, 6x08 “The Last Temptation of Barry Allen Part 1″ and “The Last Temptation of Barry Allen Part 2″ Barry seeing baby Nora breaks my heart, and I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

6x17 “Liberation” THE ENDING. That destroys me, I will literally never not cry. Like for real.

Season 7: 7x03 “Mother” This episode was a gift from God, like the Westallen content was immaculate. Eric Wallace really blessed us.

7x05 “Fear Me” I love this episode because it really capitalized on Barry’s weakness, and it got me speculating for later episodes. Plus the Tornado twins teaser, was so unexpected but Im here for it.

7x11 “Family Matters Part 2″ THAT ENDING MAKES THE EPISODE MY AUTOMATIC FAVORITE. My OTP is starting to try for a child(ren), ive wanted this for so long fr.

(I’m calling it now the episode Iris finds out she's pregnant, and the episode where she tells Barry will be my ABSOLUTE favorites. And the 150th episode of course, I mean we get to see Nora again AND meet Bart. It’s already gonna be good.)

But those are my favorites, let me know which ones you agree with and what your favorite episodes are. Hasta luego! ;)

(that means see you later in Spanish)

[thereddieficlibrary]

Reddie College/Uni Masterlist pt 1

sixteen weeks by Redburn (17/18 | 81588 | explicit)

“Well, I mean…” Richie starts, as if this entire situation was like any other reasonable discussion he’s had. “We can, if you really want to. I’m game.”

Eddie chokes on the coffee that was still running down his throat. He looks at Richie as if he’d just grown several heads. Surely it couldn’t be this simple, right? “Um, what?”

Richie remains nonchalant. “Roommates with benefits, you said? Not the worst idea ever.”

(Or, Eddie and Richie are roommates in college and one day decide to start casually hooking-up. Things go about as well as expected.)

Find Your Fire by endversed (1/1 | 16354 | teen)

Richie Tozier meets a cute firecracker of a guy when he accidentally sets off the fire alarm in his apartment.

It's just too bad that said guy has got a boyfriend - doesn't he?

your heartbeat is the only sound I wanna hear by eddiefuckinkaspbrak (8/8 | 16008 | explicit)

Richie meets a very interesting young man at his university's library and is determined to be able to talk to him.

or deaf!eddie au

walk alone or run away by tozier (1/1 | 46891 | explicit)

Richie Tozier is Eddie Kaspbrak’s rival. At least, that’s what Eddie says to everyone who will listen—including Richie most of the time.

Richie Tozier is a man, not of lies, but of half-truths and truths said too plainly out in the open that they sound like lies to the untrained ear. He does not lie—he lets others lie for him.

or, a college au where lots of things go wrong and some very important things go right.

Coffee and Carnival Bears by StarshipDancer (1/1 | 7198 | teen)

"Eddie Kaspbrak knew how many germs were in a person’s mouth, and he would only swap spit with his fucking soulmate."

Finding your soulmate should be pretty straightforward, but not for Eddie. Not when there were two possible candidates, and he had no idea which one it fucking was.

I'd Rather Cut Out My Tongue Than Let You Kiss Me With Yours by inoubliable (1/1 | 7288 | explicit)

Eddie hooked up with Richie only once, way back in freshman year. Richie never texted him afterward. Eddie thinks he has learned his lesson.

(He hasn't.)

--

And it would be hot, except Richie’s an asshole. Like all attractive college-aged guys with angular jaw lines and sharp hipbones, Richie Tozier is a fuckboy. And Eddie Kaspbrak does not fuck fuckboys. At least, not more than once.

a (number) neighborhood of seven by BookRockShooter (32/? | 33688 | teen)

Richie decides to text his number neighbors - all at once. Thus, the "number neighbors wassup" group chat is born.

-

modern day au where richie literally just makes a gc with his number neighbors and it's the losers, but they don't know each other irl... yet

let's hear it for the boy(s) by Kandakicksass (1/1 | 6531 | teen)

In which Richie and Eddie go to different colleges, and all of their friends are curious about their unnamed significant others - right up until those significant others come to visit and everyone is both shocked and confused.

Aka, Tumblr user starstruck-stargazing's amazing idea, which I have gleefully expanded into a fic.

dreamboat by weepies (5/5 | 47558 | not rated)

“What are you? A third grader? What the fuck is this?” Eddie asks. He looks at Richie, confused.

“A list of fun stuff to do, duh. Can’t you read? I thought you were studying creative writing.” Eddie glares at Richie, who raises his hands in surrender as he chuckles. “Okay, okay. Hear me out. Your professor tells you to write what you know, and you said you don’t know anything. Well, sugar, here’s your opportunity to learn something about yourself.”

Dumbfounded, Eddie cannot tear his eyes away from Richie, his mouth agape. “You’re insane,” Eddie says. “And proud,” Richie replies.

... In which Eddie Kaspbrak is a writer with no ideas, and Richie Tozier is a coffee shop employee bursting with creativity.

Most Beloved by idaemilia (9/9 | 41820 | mature)

"But he had eyes like rain and hair like waves and a soul as vast and deep as the ocean and I guess I didn't mind drowning in him" -xvaniex on tumblr

Eddie keeps pining for Richie who is too blind to see it. But maybe he already knows.

Fall Away From Me (I Just Can't Take It) by The_lazy_eye (6/6 | 19675 | explicit)

It’s okay, though, Eddie tells himself. It’s all fine. This is part of their arrangement. This is a casual thing they have going. It’s his own stupid fault for catching feelings for someone he agreed to casually fuck. Especially when that person is his best friend from childhood.

Only the Good Die Young by happytreasure (10/10 | 36881 | explicit)

Eddie Kaspbrak is starting his senior year of college when Beverly Marsh decides to sit down next to him in his first class of the year. She later introduces him to her tight knit group of friends, and ultimately Richie Toizer, who ends up drastically changing Eddie's life.

Suddenly he's exposed to a world he thought only existed in fairytales, and despite all the new dangers that come with it, Eddie’s never felt more alive.

It just so happens his new found happiness comes at a price.

To the guy at the bus stop: by Ragno (8/8 | 43020 | explicit)

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, especially if the other side of the fence is Ireland and the grass is Eddie living his own life for the first time ever away from his mom. An International Students Exchange Program is what he needs to finally stand up for himself and doing what he really wants. Who cares if he won't know anybody there? Who cares if he'll be alone in a foreign country? Who cares if he won't have his car and will need to take the bus to go anywhere?? Okay, maybe Eddie does care about that last one...

But, hey, at least the real grass is really greener there. Right?

one wave short of a shipwreck by palisadespalisades (5/5 | 16013 | teen)

The problem began when Eddie decided he was going to make out with Stan Uris. Make out, possibly take on some dates, maybe hook up — the details of what they’d do were still kind of up in the air, but Eddie was sure of one thing: to some degree, he was going to do Stan Uris.

(Eddie wants to make out with Stan. Eddie doesn't actually know Stan, which poses a significant barrier on the making out front. He does know Stan's bandmate, Richie, though, and from that, he formulates a plan. Shenanigans ensue. Inspired by the music video for Shura's "What's It Gonna Be?")

Black on Black by sunxcherries (1/1 | 6941 | explicit)

Eddie licks his lips. “Who deserves to put their hands on me?”

Richie’s staring at him like he’s not sure if Eddie is real. In all honesty, Eddie’s half-convinced that he’s dreaming—worried that he’s gonna wake up back in his dorm with his dick aching under his covers, Richie snoring soundly across the room.

As it is, Richie is standing in front of him in the middle of a college party looking like he could eat Eddie alive.

Star Struck by a_day_in_derry (6/6 | 6013 | mature)

Eddie is suddenly falling head over heels, and he has no idea what to do.

Based on a prompt from @gabriellefe on tumblr: "I came up to your apartment to ask you to turn down your music and have quieter sex, but it turns out that you've just been jumping up and down on your bed in your underwear listening to music alone"

Un Nouveau Soleil by eddiefuckinkaspbrak (3/3 | 33353 | explicit)

It was three months into his first year that Richie met Eddie for the first time. Edward Frank Kaspbrak. The man who would become the love of his life.

And Richie had no idea.

or: Richie is the heir to the British Throne who decides to study abroad at Harvard University. There, he meets Eddie Kaspbrak and they fall in love...duh.

The Blind Box by tinyarmedtrex (10/10 | 20493 | mature)

Eddie works at Gamestop and a dark haired stranger comes in and starts flirting with him. Eddie doesn't think much of it until they keep meeting.

Another College AU! Because why the hell not

Nightmares by MargotCelvin (33/33 | 134345 | teen)

Richie Tozier is trying to start over in New York. He left California behind and wants to leave his old life there as well. The only thing holding him to his old life are the nightmares that have plagued him for so long. But is there something in New York that can cure him of this disease?

[red-stick-rambler]

Remembering Billy Joe Shaver.

Billy Joe Shaver was 81 years old when he died at the end of October 2020. It was a year with so much loss, particularly of great musicians- John Prine, Justin Townes Earle, Charley Pride, Little Richard, Kenny Rogers, and others. There were many obituaries written for Billy Joe after his passing that detail the rich stories of his life and reflect on his influence on music. (Suggested obit reading: Texas Monthly, Texas Highways, New York Times) I can’t do justice to his legacy but do wish to share some of the reasons why he was important to me.

Shaver’s music, often raucous, sometimes sweet, struck me with the right chords. I grew up listening to country music, mostly Willie and Waylon. By my teenage years I felt country music didn’t fit my persona of a die-hard skateboarder who listened to punk rock. When I moved to Kansas City to attend college I’d pretty much left the country, both musically and geographically. Discovering Billy Joe Shaver in the following years brought me back - to country music and to an appreciation for the rural surroundings of central Kansas where I was raised. He had a rock n’ roll attitude but the lyrics of poet, a honky tonk Hemmingway. In 1968, the way an artist, feeling in full possession of their powers, wants to be seen by their idols and proclaim their talents to the gatekeepers (Kris Kristofferson taking a military helicopter and landing it at Johnny Cash’s home to deliver songs hoping to meet the legend and have him record his material / Bruce Springsteen hopping the gates of Graceland to see Elvis while on his Born to Run tour shortly after he was on the cover of both Time and Newsweek) Billy Joe road a motorcycle onto the front porch of legendary songwriter Harlan Howard to announce himself as the greatest songwriter who ever lived. A few years later in 1973 Waylon Jennings recorded an album with all but one song written by Billy, “Honky-Tonk Heroes”. It was the beginning of a new sound in country music. The album remains one of my favorite records of all time. Finally, Billy Joe was on his way. Others recorded his songs too, a whose who of great artists that includes Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, and Johnny Cash who said Billy Joe was his favorite song writer. Billy could sing and play too. A 2003 article from Texas Monthly captured his spirit in a profile before his death without the reverence an obituary demands.

“BILLY JOE SHAVER ACTS MORE like a Baptist preacher than a man in need of salvation. Performing at Austin’s KUT-FM studios, he waves his arms around as if he were trying to explain something. He pounds his chest and kicks his leg out. He clasps his hands like a minister, throws punches like a fighter. One minute he’s standing still, slightly tilted to the left, hands in his pockets, eyes slammed shut as he sings, deep worry lines between his brows. The next minute he’s so riled up his face burns bright red. He stretches out his long arms as wide as they can go, revealing that the index and middle fingers on his right hand are stubs and the ring finger is missing a joint. He can’t hold a pick, and when he plucks his guitar, he uses his thumb and pinkie. Billy Joe, who is 64, is wearing blue jeans, a blue denim shirt, brown boots, and a brown cowboy hat, which, when he takes it off to wave in the air, sets his longish gray hair loose.” - https://www.texasmonthly.com/articles/the-ballad-of-billy-joe-shaver/

I’d seen him play a number of times and this description is just how I remember him. Billy was a man of the people, and though he always possessed a wild streak, he was humble by the time I first saw him play. His song writing and his stage presence exercised the depth of the human condition; he was joyful and melancholia, tough and tender, devilish and devout, often ending shows on one knee in praise, head bowed down. Following concerts he often mingled with fans. (The photograph with me is from a 2005 show in New York City.) He exchanged phone numbers with a friend of mine from Texas and his girlfriend and occasionally, out of the blue, Billy would call them up.

Billy wrote songs from his personal experience and unlike most artists, lived like the songs he wrote. His grandma raised him, and when she died he went to live with his mom who was working in a honky-tonk called Green Gables. As a young boy, he would sing at the bar. He married two women, five times between them. His son Eddie, who he played and toured with, died of a drug overdose on New Years Eve, 2000. Billy Joe outlived the people he loved then nearly died of a heart attack on stage at Gruene Hall, the oldest honky-tonk in Texas. In 2007 I was looking forward to seeing him play at Chelsea’s in Baton Rouge but a few days prior to the show Billy was arrested for shooting a man outside of a bar in Waco, TX. I never learned the facts of the case though I heard them interpreted by several musicians in the years that followed, most notably by Dale Watson who wrote the song, “Where Do You Want It?” The man lived, Shaver was found not guilty in a Texas courthouse, and I had several more opportunities to hear him play in the years that followed.    

You can hear Billy Joe talk about his life in two interviews with Terry Gross he recorded for Fresh Air – though I kind of get the feeling he would have been more comfortable talking at a bar over beers than over the NPR radio waves. There was a documentary made with him, A Portrait of Billy Joe. It’s more than Billy Joe’s songs that have influenced me, it’s his presence. In the winter of 2004 I was camping at Joshua Tree in the California desert. One night Billy came to me in a vivid dream as a hillbilly angel / father figure. It was a visceral experience in which he offered me guidance during a particularly difficult time in my life. When I woke up, I felt his presence and had a better understanding of what I needed to do. At a shop the following day I found a brown leather belt with a brass ring for a buckle similar to the one I’d always seen Billy wear. He wore the same thing every time I saw him play in concert and in every photograph I’d seen him in for 50 years, a denim western pearl snap shirt and faded blue jeans with that brown leather belt with an oversized brass ring. The leather of his belt doubled-backed further across his chest in later years when his health declined and he became thinner.

I bought the belt that day in California and wear it regularly still. Billy’s songs, that I have listened to on vinyl, cassette tape, and digital files, remain in regular rotation on my stereo where he’ll live forever.

“Just like the songs I leave behind me I'm gonna live forever now” – Live Forever, Billy Joe Shaver

Photo of Billy Joe in Chicago, 1980 (top) by Kirk West.