#was debating with myself if I should post this today (or at all) and yes. take it now. the seven fat cows are now screw the lean cows

[arttsuka]

Caption here

[swordsandholly]

Steel Magnolia

Part 1 - paused

Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!plus size!reader

No use of y/n

Rating: Mature/MDNI

Word Count: 2.1k

Author’s Note: I just recently got back into fandom spaces and reading fanfic again and looooove the uptick in fat Y/N characters. Ofc as a big girl myself I wanted to try my hand at writing one too.

Hopefully I’ll post this on AO3 soon. Whenever I get my invite so I can make an acc.

“Oh! Darlin’, did ya see those boys next door?” Mrs. Duprey gasps as you swipe the last of her Bubble Bath OPI polish across her fingers.

“Next door?” You cock an eyebrow. “No one’s been next door since Adam and Eve.”

“I saw them on the way in!” She grins, the corners of her eyes wrinkling pleasantly. “Strappin’ young men - y’should talk t’ ‘em.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m sure I will sooner or later, ma’am.”

“You’ve been single too long.” The nosey old bat contributes. As much as you love her she truly cannot leave well enough alone.

“And I’m perfectly content as such.” You give her your warmest smile.

The trailer home across from you has remained empty for as long as you can remember. It’s well kept - sometimes you see random gardeners mowing or going in an out with tool bags - but no one lives there permanently. You’d think in a beach town it would at least belong to some snowbirds. A timeshare, maybe. It’s none of those things, though. Just a well-maintained, perfectly empty husk.

There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, probably.

Sure enough, as you walk Mrs. Duprey out of your little single wide trailer, you spot a black SUV parked out front of the neighboring double wide. One that is definitely *not* a repair man or worker’s vehicle. She coos at you to make sure to talk to them before waddling off to her own car. She really shouldn’t be driving at her age. You wonder briefly - futilly- if she’d sell you her car in exchange for rides.

You suppose she’s right - even if it is for the wrong reasons. You’re not particularly interested in flirting with the new neighbors. After all, don’t fuck where you eat is a saying for a reason, but it wouldn’t exactly be neighborly to not introduce yourself. Especially with all the people coming and going from your home for your nail tech services. The old Yankee’s catty-cornered from you still believe that you're a drug dealer. At least they only come down for a couple months of the year.

Despite your staunch decision not to flirt, you still find yourself adjusting your clothes. Maybe the sports bra as a top is a bit much…

Fuck it. If they live here now they’ll see you in worse.

You fix your lipstick and throw on your platform sandals. The ones that clip-clop as you walk. Maybe it will help announce your presence.

The screen door wraps quietly as you knock. You take two steps back on the front, wooden porch so as not to come off too aggressively. As the seconds tick by you debate on knocking again. Maybe they’re out. Or busy. They did just move in today, most likely. Maybe you should-

The door creaks slightly as it opens. A very, painfully handsome man pushes the screen door until it clicks in place. “Afternoon, lassie.”

You blink stupidly as he crosses his strong arms and leans on the doorframe. His eyes are a striking shade of blue - somehow both sharp and soft. His dark hair is shaped into a slightly grown-out, un-styled mohawk. It fits him oddly enough.

“I, uh,” you take a deep breath. Christ you need to get laid if just *looking* at a hot guy has you this off kilter. “I live across the way. Just wanted t’ say welcome t’ tha neighborhood.”

That lopsided smile on his face grows into a grin. You don’t miss the way his eyes catch on your chest. “Aye? Nice tae meet ye. Names John MacTavish. M’friends call me Johnny.”

He gives your hand an extra little squeeze after shaking it. That accent might as well have you on the floor. You continue to blink dumbly, watching the at the scar on his chin stretches as he speaks.

Christ almighty, you’re pathetic.

“Nice to meet’ya.” You give him a warm smile, tilting your head to the side slightly. “Ya’ll here for vacation? We don’t get many Europeans ‘round here.”

He chuckles. It’s low and rumbling and would probably feel wonderful with your ear pressed to his chest. “Little bit o’ business, little bit o’ pleasure. This an’ tha’.”

“Hello, there.” Another man pops up from behind Johnny suddenly. Fucking hell, he’s gorgeous too. Older, for sure, with a uniquely cut beard that would probably look rather silly on anyone less handsome. At it stands, he manages to make it appear dignified.

“Ah, jus’ about tae call fer ye, Cap. This is our neighbor.” Johnny gestures toward you.

“John Price.” The man steps forward to shake your hand. It’s firm and professional and thank god your grandad made you practice a good handshake as a kid or you’d be painfully embarrassed.

“Are all UK men named John or is this just some sorta cult?” You blurt, unable to stop yourself from snickering at them.

Older John chuckles at you fondly, his facial hair giving him a pleasant U-shaped smile. “Be easier to remember that way, wouldn’t it? No, we’re with two others. Kyle and Simon. They’re out at the moment.”

“Kyle and Simon.” You repeat, nodding. Johnny, John, Kyle, Simon. “Are y’all in town long?��

“Indefinitely.” Is all Price gives you. It’s a tone that even someone as dense as you can recognize as ‘don’t ask more.’

You clap your hands together and smile a little wider, ready to make your exit. “Well, I’m not here t’be a bother, just wanted t’ welcome ya and, uh, let y’know that I have a lot of people over throughout the day - I’m a nail tech. They shouldn’t bother ya but y’know.”

“Ye can come bother us anytime, bonnie.” The Scot hits you with that grin again and your face suddenly feels far too hot.

A loud, whining screech sounds off from down the road. You check your watch. Holy shit, three-thirty already. You begin to back off the porch. “Ah, nice t’ meet ya again! See ya ’round!”

As you jog down the little dirt road of the trailer park another black car passes you. It’s smaller, a sedan. You make very brief eye contact with a blonde wearing a surgical mask and another man with the sharpest golden eyes you’ve ever seen - even through the tint of the window.

*Kyle and Simon,* you think.

You make a mental note to greet them at some point and continue down the street. The school bus slowly stops at the entrance and you take up your spot in the small crowd of parents. IT’s a shabby old bus - chipping paint and break pads that sounds like they’re about ready to snap. It’s all they’re willing to send out to your little section of the city, though.

Shelby meanders over in your direction, her usual Camel Crush lit up in one hand and the other teasing her already well-lifted hair. “Afternoon. Saw there was some new folks across from ya.”

“Hm?” You keep your eyes on the bus. “Ah, yeah. Just vacationers, I think.”

“Lookers, though.” She chuckles.

“They’re from the UK.” You offer.

“No shit!” Shelby stamps out her cigarette as the bus doors open. “Accent and all?”

“Yep.” You grin.

Shelby tsks and fiddles with her hair again. “I best go over an’ make myself known, then.”

“There’s an older fella with a neat beard. Think you’d like ‘em.” You snicker.

She hums. “I’ll bring a pie.”

The children practically burst out of the bus doors, as always. Ready to be home and shuck off their backpacks to their respective adult. Shelby’s son almost knocks her over, offering a little “Good afternoon, ma’am!” to you before heading off with his mother.

You nod to him, shoving a hand in your pocket as you wait for yours. She’s always the last. Always caught up in a book or something and doesn’t realize it’s time to get off of the bus. Sure enough, the driver has to call back to her before the little girl comes dashing out. She jumps off of the bus steps, despite being told time and time again not to, and kicks a rock on her way toward you.

You bow low for her. “Welcome home, Lady Sophie.”

She giggles, dark curls bouncing as she skips over. “Ni-ni!”

You take her bag from her. The thing really does dwarf the poor six year old. Her hand slips into yours easily. Soft and round and somehow always so much warmer than yours.

“My nail color chipped!” She announces, holding up her ring finger on the opposite hand.

“Oh! Now we can’t have that. I’ll fix it tonight.” You smile, waving at old Mr.Chester as the two of you pass.

“Well now!” He calls. “How blessed am I to see two such lovely ladies!”

You both giggle, continuing on your way. He’s a good landlord - spotted you more than a few times when Sophie was a baby and you couldn’t work consistently. Honestly, as you look around, the little community that he’s managed to build in this shitty corner of the world should be praised. Housing just enough snowbirds to cover his property costs while keeping rent low for the full time locals. Maybe you could convince Natalie at the paper to run a little story on it or something.

As you pull up to your own home, the blonde man is outside leaning on the front of their double wide. Seeing him standing at full height makes your blood run cold. The man is built like a damn barn - tall and wide. Beyond solid. *Brick shithouse*. It’s a bit weird that he’s covered in clothing head to toe but whatever. Weirder things have happened before. The mask still covers his face, you wonder if he had taken it off before you came up or just flipped it up to smoke.

“Sophie, head on in. I’ll catch up.” You push her toward the door. She scampers in, the screen door slamming behind her as you march up to the brick shithouse of a man in front of you.

“Which are ya? Kyle or Simon?” You smile, holding out your hand to shake.

Dark eyes rake over you, stopping briefly on your hand, before moving back to meet yours. He stomps out the half smoked cigarette. “Simon.”

You let your hand drop. Bit rude, this one. “Nice t meetcha.”

The other man pops his head out of the trailer. Kyle, you assume. “Oh. Hello.”

“Hi.” You smile as warmly as you can, giving your name. “I’m assumin’ yer Kyle.”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “I’m guessing you’re the neighbor Price mentioned.”

You nod, about to speak again but Simon shoves past you, marching his way up the steps. “Let’s go.” He grunts, pushing the other man back into the trailer despite his protests.

You wrinkle your nose at him. What an asshole.

“Who’s tha’?” Sophie asks over the back of the old, worn couch as you let the trailer door slam behind you.

“New neighbors.” You say simply, glancing out the window. “Don’t go over there without me, yeah?”

“Okay!” She agrees, sitting back on the couch and bouncing, beginning her usual post school chant. “Bluey! Bluey! Bluey!”

You drop her backpack down beside the small coffee table. “After yer homework.”

“Nooo!” She pouts.

“Then no Bluey.”

Sophie pouts harder but crawls down in front of the coffee table and pulls out her little work sheets. At least the school doesn’t over run them too terribly with homework toward the end of the year. You glance at the calendar. Wednesday, May 22nd. Damn, she really only has about a week left. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this summer break with her. She’s old enough now that you can take her places like the arcade without having to wait on her so much. You’ll actually be able to play some of the two-player games.

Plus, this year, you actually have a little more pocket change to make it fun.

You turn to look out the window once more at the new neighbors. Their curtains remain closed, cars neatly parked out front. The door opens slowly, the hot Scot and rude blonde wander to the Sedan. Simon’s shoulders shake at something Johnny said - you think he’s laughing but its hard to tell with that mask. Johnny’s head turns, blue eyes meeting yours through the shitty glass windows of your trailer. You squeak and duck to sit next to Sophie, praying that he didn’t catch you staring.

[cath-lic]

Hello, I was wondering if you believe non-Christians can be saved? I know many Catholics believe everyone that doesn't accept Jesus will go to hell. Personally, I find this outlook very sad and I was curious on other points of view so please anyone respond with their own opinions. I mean to ask you this: If God is love and is forgiving of our sins, why would he send everyone to hell simply because they could not find their way to him?

hi!! YES absolutely everyone is saved!! now, everyone and their brother has a conflicting opinion on this, but i’ll throw in my two cents.

my first, more concrete point: john 3:16. the everyman’s verse!!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

okay, but what if someone doesn’t believeth? vatican ii’s lumen gentium, no. 16, also covers this. (italics added by me)

Those also can attain to everlasting salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the gospel of Christ or his Church, yet sincerely seek God and, moved by grace, strive by their deeds to do his will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does divine Providence deny the help necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God, but who strive to live a good life, thanks to his grace.

however, it’s important to note LG no. 14. bear with me here.

Whosoever knowing that the Catholic Church was made necessary by God through Jesus Christ would refuse to enter her or to remain in her could not be saved.

i’m not a theologian, i’m just joe off the street—so i may be taking things out of context. forgive me!

however—as much as i am catholic, i believe that this is putting WAY too much importance on the catholic church as we know it today. it is far, far different than the original organization founded upon the rock of st. peter, and i believe that there are many things that god takes issue with in the catholic church (notoriously, jesus criticized large institutions like these). therefore, i don’t know how much i believe that the catholic church today, nor as a whole, was made necessary by god through christ.

my second point: my most fervent belief is that god is love. pretty much all of my friends are atheists, and they are kind and caring and loving people. it is, therefore, impossible for me to believe that they are not saved.

my second-and-a-half point: i take a little bit of issue with your phrasing of “send” to hell.

personally, i believe that hell is not necessarily Dante’s inferno, but a place of complete and total separation from god. i also believe that hell is not a place you are sent to, but rather a place you send yourself.

i mentioned purgatory in my earlier answer to a different anon; this is where that comes in. i generally concur with pope francis when he says that he likes to think of hell as empty (note: he was not issuing doctrine here). i believe that in purgatory, 99.999% (you get it) of people, if not 100%, are able to reconcile with god and see the consequences of their decisions, good and bad, throughout their life.

you know when you tell someone something that is true, but they keep on rejecting it, no matter what evidence you show them? that’s what i imagine is happening to the other .001%.

god is endlessly patient; he doesn’t mind spending eons trying to convince others to have empathy for their fellow man. however, humans are not as patient. they get fed up and walk away—and this is my (limited) understanding of the process of going to hell.

i’ll be honest, i don’t know if hell is permanent, temporary, etc. i’m not sure how helpful it is to debate it, either. but what i do know is very helpfully summarized in this post by the lovely hymnsofheresy.

whenever i have doubts about some aspect of what i believe being incorrect, i remind myself that god is love. he loves us more than anything in the world, and nothing we can do will ever change that. he doesn’t look for reasons for you to go to hell; he wants to be with us all the time.

thank you for sending in this ask, and i hope it helped ❤️❤️❤️

[edennill-archived]

Beleriand Dashboard Simulator • part 3

Part one, part two

🔆 hador-lomin following

1 722 notes

♟️narrond following

wait, are @turin-deactivated4841207 and @outlaw-neithan-deactivated4880911 the same person as @mormegil?

⚔️ adanedhel

Not really my business to say, seeing as I'm neither of these, but people have reasons for changing blogs/names/URLs. If this was true and if I was that person I would be very annoyed at whoever posted such a thing for everyone to see.

#please take it down for general safety of people who might need it

4 notes

⚓ nenil-noriel

I am sick and tired of Gondolindhrim complaining they're bored. How about you try living here and fighting orcs for a while? I'd be glad to switch.

👤 house-of-the-mole following

I'll let you know we fought alongside everyone in the Nirnaeth.

⚓ nenil-noriel

Sure, do pat yourself on the back for doing the bare minimum.

17 089 notes

👰🏼‍♀️ celebrin following

Guess who got engaged today?!!! 💕💍🥰

#no one even got ordered to bring a Silmaril lol #so I dare say it went perfectly #!!! #can you tell I'm excited?

31 notes

🎼noldolanteyy following

thinking of changing my url (for pretty obvious reasons)

#doriath kinslaying

11 notes

🎼musiquendil-former-noldolanteyy following

No, really, this is the worst time ever to be a musician. I'm not pretending that the way he let us down is in any way worse than everything else Maglor Feanorion has done, but...

Can we separate art from the artist when the art itself is so interwined with the artist's deeds? Can we appreciate the noldolante itself ignoring that it was entirely a lie, regrets that apparently didn't stop him from committing the same evil over again?

But it is impossible to cut oneself away from all influence Maglor Feanorion has had on our music. And even keeping to the apolitical pieces, should we ignore the person of the artist? Does it help anything?

It's like the famous Fëanorian lamps debate all over again. Do we change the name since we're uncomfortable using it? Do we try to forget who was their creator - but is that even ethical, no matter what evil he wrought? Or is that maybe wrong? Maybe, if we use the lamps, we should be discomforted?

#I really don't know how to approach this

101 notes

👰🏼‍♀️celebrin following

So, we've arrived at the havens. I thank you all for the condolences, thoughts and prayers... I still don't know what to do from now on, but I guess maybe I can finally rest a bit. And mourn.

To all the people asking, yes, my husband and son are thankfully okay; this is the one silver lining. My son seems to have made a friend already...

#personal #gondolin

32 notes

🕊️queenelwing-unofficial

putting this under cut so I can delete this later, but please have a passionate rant about how a girl actually feels about receiving missives from the people who killed her parents.

read more

#honestly why do they presume I might want to actually meet with them #though tbh now that the anger's worn of I'm mostly afraid #and of course my husband *has* to be gone right now... #I'll probably delete all this tomorrow but I couldn't help myself

11 notes

[bloomeng]

“Genshin character designs are bad.”

You really can’t navigate through the Genshin fandom without hearing this take. It’s stale at this point, but it’s…. also true. Except that’s usually not what people are actually saying. The true question up for debate: Are Genshin character designs ugly?

It irks me because there is validity to the original statement, and yet the conversation immediately moves into the territory of strictly opinion, leaving the true discussion never to be had.

So I’m having it… with myself…. in the form of a long post, because actually I find Genshin an interesting character design case study.

Before I really get into it I must address the elephant in the room; are Genshin’s character designs colorist?

Yes. Moving on.

Okay, okay, I’ll address it a little, Genshin has a problem with colorism. It’s a fiercely debated topic and honestly it’s one of the only real valid discussions I see around Genshin’s designs. That being said, I have nothing new to add to the conversation. If you don’t know why, sorry I’m not qualified to answer that, but you’re in luck because tons of qualified people have explained it across all platforms.

What I am partially equipped to talk about is character design. I’m no expert but I have taken a few formal classes on the subject, so I do have some insight to share. Character design at its core is usually quantified by how much of a character’s personality can be clearly determined from sight alone and how recognizable their silhouette is (though I’m not gonna touch on that today). Now there’s a lot of factors that go into both, but the fundamental thing that contributes to both is something known as shape language.

Shape has meaning. What that meaning is often depends on culture factors that determine your associations, but the Western simplification of shape is that circles are good-natured, rectangles/ squares are reliable, and triangles are energized. (these are my own personal words for them, there are countless ways to go about describing these associations) Shapes are then combined with each other to create more complex associations, and so on and so forth. It’s impossible to create a character without evoking some form of shape language, because art at its core is just shapes. The classic example are the round shapes seen in Mickey Mouse, though often times it’s far more subtle, like how Barbie has soft, round lines in her hair and face, but her hourglass figure is comprised of triangles to tell you she’s sexy, but the soft curves say she’s sweet not sexual— and it quickly gets very complicated. Basically character designs are rarely comprised of one shape alone, and when combined the “vibes” they evoke become complex.

So what does this have to do with Genshin? Genshin has poor shape language. The most obvious example of this are the faces. Genshin has same face syndrome, which I partially contribute to budget constraints with the models seeing as they reuse them over and over. Though it also has a lot to do with Genshin’s need for their characters to be conventionally attractive. Everyone must be beautiful and, as the current trend in anime artstyles dictates, not look a day over 12. The only thing that changes is the eye shape, but even then, it really doesn’t. There’s diversity between the male and female models, but calling it diversity seems generous, because they are practically the same. All the viewer has to go on to differentiate between faces are the expressions (and color but we’ll get there), which are also limited by the models.

The poor quality of the shape language continues into the bodies, seeing as the only thing that really changes is the height, not a lot of room for show casing contrast. (Also body diversity is just a good thing to have for the sake of having body diversity.) Visual contrast is one of the key things good shape language should deliver. It’s within this contrast that the viewer will have the opportunity to compare and thus make these associations. One character design may tell you things based on previous knowledge but it’s like an experiment without a control group.

Then we get to the character’s outfits and hairstyles. While it’s true there is a fair amount of diversity in clothing, the shape language continues to falter. Genshin characters have so much going on constantly in their designs that it seems like that should provide plenty of opportunities to showcase personality. Unfortunately what ultimately happens is that the details compete amongst themselves so much that they overshadow any sort of unified message they might have had about who this character is. Basically there’s too many different shapes. They don’t create a pattern and therefore don’t form any strong associations. You can have a good design with a lot of details but they should communicate a pattern together. A design is not good simply because it has a lot of detail. I will say there are definitely times where the clothing and hair do actually come through to tell me stuff about the character, but overall this over designing tends to be a detriment.

Genshin’s hair while in different styles usually relies on the same type of pointy strands and blunt edges.

(these characters were randomly selected to prove my point that you can quite literally pick any character in genshin and they will have at least one of these two components)

On their own pointy strands might tell us something, but considering every character has them, the pattern within a single character is rendered moot. “If everyone’s super, no one is.” Of course how they choose to wear their hair does speak to the character but its effect is limited when the structure of the hair is fundamentally the same. And then when you consider that the styling of many of these hairstyles doesn’t actually say a whole lot, it becomes obvious that Genshin is more concerned with creating hair that stands out. The problem is that details, asymmetry for example, normally tell us about the character, but considering so many hairstyles utilize asymmetry, it looses its meaning. Overall I will say I think Genshin is more of a 50/50 toss up on whether or not the hair suits the character.

I want to take a moment to point out a couple hair style designs in Genshin I think are really lovely and work very well.

And now I would like to do the same with some outfits.

(honorable mention to Bennett for being over accessorized in a way that actually tells you about his personality (goggles, a scar, bandaids, work gloves, utility belt), to Barbara for somehow mashing the concept of a nun and an idol together, to Klee for her childish whimsy and finally to Scaramoche for the sheer amount of subtle character growth motifs fit into all three of his outfits (the cultural stuff is really cool too))

Genshin I will say does a great job of creating and repeatedly using the elemental imagery as well as Khaneira’ah’s star. I also appreciate that every Archon has that ombre hair shift that glows during their burst. Makes them feel unique.

I think Genshin shines the brightest when they successfully incorporate cultural elements into their designs however, the only nation that does this with any sort of consistency is Inazuma. Inazuma’s aesthetic is so instantly recognizable. No one dresses exactly the same, but there are common through lines in the shoes, the style of the armor, and patterns in the clothes. (The design aesthetic is so strong that even after Scara got a Sumeru makeover he managed to keep elements that were clearly identifiable as Inazuman) Every other nation falls short in this department. I will give credit to the knights as there is some level of consistency in their designs, mostly in the metallic detailing; not quite a uniform but there is some commonality. Liyue does have cultural influence that definitely shows but it suffers from an overall lack of consistency in aesthetic, and doesn’t lean into its Chinese inspiration the same way Inazuma does. Mondstadt on the other hand is just vaguely European, but also half the time not even.

And then there’s Sumeru. I distinctly remember looking at the full Sumeru cast the first time and thinking that none of the them looked like they came from the same place. (It’s almost as if Sumeru is based on a bunch of separate countries that are culturally very different.) Pretty much no character has any real ties to any any real culture, but instead they just sorta grab vague elements. And at its worse just leans into orientalism (Nilou and Dori). I think personality wise the designs do a fairly stable job of saying at least something about their characters (Dehya and Kaveh). The designs do well individually but between the vague references and inconsistencies they falter. (I will say Cyno’s whole design being a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh is both hilarious, charming, and also mildly appropriative.)

On the topic of appropriation I think it’s important to note that Inazuma suffers from this too. While I absolutely love the way a lot of Japanese elements were integrated, outfits like Yae Miko’s shrine maiden garb bring forth this sexualization of cultural dress that I’m not particularly fond of. But then again you can also critique Rosaria’s sexy nun design for the same thing.

I also want to touch on something briefly because it’s important to note, but it’s a separate, much bigger conversation; Genshin, like anime, falls into a trap of catering their style to lolicon and shotacon enjoyers. It’s the reason all the characters look so young, why all the age discourse exists, why they refuse to confirm ages, and why all the children with the toddler model have some weird age work around. I don’t like it. It’s gross.

Another brief mention because it’s its own conversation; the female characters in Genshin are often over sexualized. Their clothes are skin tight, they almost always have weird random cut-outs, their skirts and dresses are designed to show off their breasts and asses, and all of their designs are high fem regardless of their personality. Give a female character baggy pants Genshin I dare you. Dori doesn’t count, she’s a toddler model in just a bra. I don’t have a problem with a female character being hot, but when that’s the only requirement…. it’s tiring. The classic female character design video game debate…. yah.

I think my overarching issue with Genshin’s clothing design is it says nothing about whose these people are. What jobs do they do? What do these accessories say about them personally? Take Yanfei. She’s a lawyer, yet nothing about her outfit speaks to that in the slightest. I remember the first time I sat down and looked at all the playable characters with a friend of mine. I didn’t play at the time and we thought it would be fun to see if I could guess their personalities. As you can imagine I did pretty poorly, and that’s because these designs just don’t suggest a whole lot.

And then we get to color.

Color is probably the most complicated part of art let alone character design. I feel as though we all have some familiarity with the concept of color coding in character design. The classic red/blue character foils. Color often suggests specific traits similar to the way shape language does, except unlike shape language color coding doesn’t always apply. You can’t just assign a character a color and call it coding, the character has to physically have that color on them in some significant manner. For example Naruto is clearly an orange coded character. He appears in the color throughout the series, but I couldn’t classify Eren Yeager as a green coded character even if it suited his personality (which it doesn’t) because it’s a uniform everyone wears. Attack on Titan does not evoke color coding the way Naruto does, so it’s not applicable.

With Genshin color is complicated. Genshin does have an established color pattern for all the elements, but not every character wears the color of their element. Now normally I would say just having a color pattern for the elements wouldn’t be enough to justify character color coding (since it would fall back into the uniform category), but in Genshin their visions connect to their personalities, so therefore the color of the elements is connected to them. For some the color coding is very obvious (Kaeya & Diluc) and for others it’s practically nonexistent (Yun Jin & Heizou). In all honestly I don’t know what to make of this other than Genshin is inconsistent in their elemental color coding but always consistent in their high saturation. Because color is complicated and a weaker area of mine it is equally likely that I’m missing something or that Genshin isn’t coding anything and it’s all pure aesthetics.

Which brings me to my final point; aesthetics. Hoyo as a company cares that you spend money. That is the number one goal at the end of the day. That’s why all their characters are conventionally attractive, why their art style is the way it is, why their shape language suffers, and why their outfits are overly detailed. It’s all about aesthetics. As a brand Genshin cares less about their story and more about how pretty their characters look, because if their characters are pretty then you’ll spend money. It’s not like Hoyo designed characters with bad shape language because they were ignorant. They knew exactly what they were doing when they sculpted every last visually pleasing strand of pointy hair.

Which brings me back to the real question that people were actually arguing over in the first place; are Genshin characters ugly?

I can’t answer that question. I mean they weren’t designed to be ugly, but if they don’t appeal to your taste, then to you they are ugly. But it’s more important to understand that “bad” and “ugly” are not the same. Genshin character designs are bad by professional standards but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Genshin designs can be both bad and likable, bad and pretty, bad and cute. Those are two vastly different things. It’s the same way people adore cult classic movies. They’re not good in the eyes of a critic, otherwise they wouldn’t be niche. They’re cult classics because people like them. Personal taste is just that. Personal.

But the most important question of all; do I like the Genshin Impact character designs?

I didn’t use to but I gotta say, they’ve grown on me.

[sanguinelupus]

hi! an important announcement:

as of today, all my blogs are being privatized. what this means is i will only be interacting with current mutuals, and my affiliates will get priority when it comes to replies.

i know this isn't shocking as i tend to do this anyway, but i'm making it publicly known because i feel that it's time for me personally (but also the entire rpc) to stop feeling bad for putting people i'm comfortable writing with, or have been writing with for a while, first over others. i've found myself in task paralysis (which stems from adhd so it isn't all tumblr's fault) time and time again, debating on if i should reply to the thing i have muse for vs the thing i just started or have less comfortability with.

it isn't bad to be comfortable with certain people over others. trying to be equal to everyone takes the fun out of this hobby, both in general and for me. it prevents me from getting on sometimes because i feel so bad about only wanting to interact with certain people, but the fact i have rp partners that i adore writing with so much is truly a blessing, and i'm not going to feel guilty for that anymore.

wow this got long. to summarize:

i am no longer accepting new mutuals. if i have not unfollowed/softblocked you, i still want to write.

affiliates (listed in all my pinned posts as well as my klaus doc) will be getting priority replies from me, and unprompted meme inboxes.

non-affiliates are welcome to poke me for replies if you see me online, or get my discord so we can plot further or make a server for writing outside tumblr.

YOU (YES YOU!) SHOULD NOT FEEL BAD FOR HAVING PEOPLE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WRITING WITH OVER OTHERS!!!

all my pinned posts and rules have been updated to reflect this change. thank you for reading!!

[sunnythegyarufreak]

✧༺♥༻∞ Hello everyone!! My name is Sunny :D ✧༺♥༻∞

I love gyaru and J-Fashion and since today (June 9th) is my gyaru anniversary I decided today would be the perfect day to make my first post. For this post I will answer some commonly asked questions about gyaru!

Q: Can I be a gyaru if I dont tan?

A: Of course! Certain styles like kurogyaru and manba do have styles that are non tanned such as Shiro gyaru which means "white gal" That just means that you don't tan but you still do makeup from styles such as manba/yamanba!.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I don't wear makeup?

A: This is a very common question in the gyaru community. This is debate is actually one of the many reasons why I distance myself from the community. I believe that gyaru is a lifestyle and mindset. For certain styles you may need to wear makeup. Like manba/kurogyaru/ganguro are makeup based substyles. But other styles like Amekaji and Himegyaru/Himekaji are more based on clothing. For example, my main style is kurogyaru but I don't do the makeup very often because of my mental/physical health. However I wear clothes that I feel are very "kurogyaru" and I live by the mindset of "Be wild Be Sexy" Some older gals however believe that you must wear makeup 24/7. So I think that at some point you should do the makeup at least every once in a while because throughout a lot of eras of gyaru the eye makeup has been pretty crucial to the whole look.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm plus size?

A: Yes! I happen to be a plus size gyaru. Gyaru is about recognizing yourself and "getting wild and being sexy," not about being a specific size. The most important thing is to feel content with who you are. This holds true for many styles, not just gyaru! Wear the things you love if whatever you're wearing makes you feel bad about yourself. If it does, throw it out right away!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm not asian?

A: Yes! Gyaru is meant for everyone, no matter what race you are.

(Btw this person is @citrusmalicious on tiktok! Go follow them! Theyre super cool and I love their content :D)

Q: Can I be gyaru if I don't do gyaru everyday?

A: This question is very complicated. Like i said gyaru is a lifestyle and mindset. If you can't do the makeup all the time I recommend incorporating gyaru into your daily life! You can do this by: buying deco phone cases, buying animal print bags/items, being positive and keeping positive and fun people around you, decorate items in your room with gems or rhinestones, or wear cute decorated nails :D So I would say that you can be gyaru if you don't do the makeup everyday. BUT if you don't do the makeup everyday be sure to atleast try to incorporate it into your daily life!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I do multiple substyles?

A: Yes! There are so many interesting and fun substyles and you most certainly don't have to stick to one.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm over 20?

A: Yes! Any age can be gyaru (however i recommend ages 14 and under to be careful when interacting with the community or doing certain styles) There is no age limit to gyaru and there is even a gyaru on instagram who is 50!!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I have colorful hair/short hair?

A: Of course! Many gyaru have bright and colorful hair and wigs! There are many short haired gals as well! There are gyaru hairstyles just for short hair on pinterest :D

In conclusion anyone can be gyaru! It doesn't matter if you have children, your race, your skin color, your age, or your physical attributes! Thats all the questions I can think of so far! If y'all have any more questions don't be afraid to ask. I'll be sure to answer them as fast as I can :D If you have any ideas for my next blog be sure to send them aswell! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you guys have a good day! Be wild and Be Sexy ✌🏽

[jendoe]

tagged by @gwynbleidd to post a wip.. and i actually have another one!!! hehe

no tags today but if you see this and have something to share, by all means, use me as an opportunity! 💖

more of kate and @risingsh0t's cyrus below

She trailed off. One glance, and suddenly, she was hyper aware of how close their faces were. She swallowed hard, mouth drier than a desert. That was a factoid she'd only read about, never experienced, but perhaps that was just her mind trying to ignore the racing of her heart and… 

Cyrus seemed to read her thoughts, as he pulled away a bit, but to both of their surprise, she stopped him with a hand on his face.

"Uh." He grabbed onto her arm. "Weird question, but– do you think he would've liked me?"

"Yes." Not a single moment of hesitation. "He would've loved you. Used to go on and on about how everybody deserved a second chance."

His eyes flicked to her lips. "Then," he started, sounding unsure, "would he be okay with you moving on with somebody else?" 

Was she moving on? Kate wasn't sure. She let the question rattle around in her brain for a second, genuinely debating it. She was definitely happier. Happier than she'd been in over a year, and she'd come to enjoy Cyrus' company in the time they'd spent together, something she would've hated to admit just mere weeks ago. He made her laugh, made her feel safe. That was hard to come by these days.

Maybe– just maybe– she was ready to take that tiny step forward.

"Of course he would." 

She leaned in to capture his lips in hers before she could even register what she was doing. It was a slow, passionate kiss and when he melted into it, taking her face in his calloused hands, she swore she could hear fireworks. No, actually, maybe that was gunfire in the distance, but for once, she didn't stop to worry about it. She just took her time with him, unwilling to end the moment.

Still, she had to pull away for air eventually and when she did, there was a tense silence between them. A good tense, which was a welcome change.

"Nothing to say?" she teased. 

"Kate," was all he could manage to get out.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm being mean," she said with a laugh. "You just normally have some quip or joke, that's all."

He inhaled sharply, as he caressed her cheeks in a way that suggested he was trying to memorize this moment. "What's there to joke about? I've been wanting to do that for weeks."

"I… hadn't noticed." A blatant lie. She had. It was hard not to– she'd just been too afraid to do anything about it. "You have now, at least."

"Yeah," he said, voice cracking in the slightest. Even in the dark, she could see how flustered she'd made him, pupils blown and cheeks flushed. "Guess I can check that off my bucket list."

That got another laugh out of her. "There's the joke."

"Figured I should at least try to act like I'm not freaking out right now." A pause. "Which, for the record, I kind of am."

"It's okay," Kate said, kissing his forehead in an attempt to soothe him. "Come on, get up here on the bed with me. We can talk about this more in the morning."

Cyrus sputtered. "Kate, I'm fine on the floor. We don't have to move that fast."

"Cyrus," she said, a little more firmly. "Nobody said anything about fast. Get on the danged bed before I pull you up here myself."

Despite his obvious nerves, he laughed. "Yes, ma'am."

[alterchaos]

Update:

Hi everyone. I know I've been back and forth for a while with a lot of updates and such, and I really appreciate the patience as well as the continued love and support for my work. I debated posting another update after taking a bit of a breather, but I felt it would be a good way to get back on track mentally and keep moving forward.

I first want to mention that, yes, I messed up with the queue. I put it on pause but didn't realize that chapters I had scheduled would continue posting anyway (it was admittedly pretty funny though realizing the last chapter was live). I saw all the love for Go! Super Sonic! today and wanted to say thanks! Unleashed is my favorite videogame of all time and it makes me smile whenever I see how my hard work has paid off.

I guess that brings me to my main point. I've decided to continue on with the Moonbeast saga as planned. I know I've been all over the place, and I know it must have been pretty confusing for all of you given how frequently I've jumped from wanting to do one thing to another. To be honest, I was confused myself as well. On one hand, I was so proud of what I accomplished with my writing, but on the other hand, I felt like what I made wasn't good enough, like I wasn't good enough. I loved what I wrote but made myself sick with worry that others wouldn't. Much like my character, I suffer from severe anxiety, especially when putting myself out there on a deeper level.

I do have good news though. Thankfully, I found an awesome therapist recently who has helped me make strides. As per my last post, I wanted to take a break (more on that in a bit) mostly because I was still trying to figure out the underlying issue before making a decision on how to best move forward. I realized after a few sessions that my issue wasn't that my work was bad or that I was a bad artist, but that I was afraid to go after what I wanted and stand by it. That isn't to say I can never improve (maintaining self-awareness and striving to grow are incredibly admirable traits), but my mindset was well into perfectionism and that drove me to become obsessed with rereading my work day after day and trying to "fix it" when there was really no need to. I was holding myself back from creating new art all because I felt that my old art wasn't "good enough". I've struggled with this pretty badly in other areas of my life as well, but I'm working hard now to address and work through it with help from a good support system. ♡

Having realized that, I want to present the Moonbeast saga as I wrote it, even if I'm still working through that nervousness. That doesn't mean I will never revisit and add art to it. Far from it. But the story itself, after all the hard work, sweat, and tears poured into it, deserves to be told. I should share it and be proud of what I accomplished. I'm proud of it when I'm by myself so why shouldn't I be when sharing it with others? I want to push back and overcome that anxiety, so I'm going to keep it as it is.

With that being said, I do want to make clear for anyone reading that this saga is dark. If Metarex and Seven Rings were too intense for you, then the Moonbeast saga will be too. Even though there will be lighthearted moments, anything present in those sagas are present here from beginning to end. Chapters come with content warnings, but I wanted to make that clear as a general note.

Lastly, I want to go over my plans for the Ark Chronicles. I have all but two chapters completed at this point; however, those chapters were already written and ready when I announced my break and needing to revisit how I want to go about storytelling. The plan right now is to post whatever is complete on Thursday for the Sonic 3 premier and see if I feel up to finishing the rest by then. I'm debating between a couple ideas and want to make sure I take my time to best represent such an incredible piece of media.

Afterwards, I plan to take my hiatus and work out some ideas in a more artistic way while Moonbeast continues to post weekly. I also have multiple courses next semester and will be graduating soon, so my time for art will be very limited. I just want to take it one day at a time and get back to a place of having fun rather than stressing myself out. However that looks will piece itself together as I go along and I'm excited to take that journey. : )

That's all from me. Happy holidays and Sonic premier everyone!

[god-of-knk]

How do your PDs interact with your dissociation? Do all your alters/parts have PD traits? Do your PD traits show themselves 24/7?

Apologies for the wait!

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the first question? Dunno, could just be me being a bit dense today. Feel free to clarify!

The rest is under the cut because it's long.

Err, as for alters, as far as I know, we all have traits (still learning more about 4th and Candy Corn, so I couldn't say anything for certain about them). That said, we certainly don't all have the same traits, nor the same intensities.

Satanick, for instance, displays way less of our avoidant traits. He actually kind of flips things on their head, soothes a lot of the anxieties we have about interacting with folks. He's still pretty sensitive to criticism and rejection, but he shows a lot less of the actual inhibitions, if that makes sense. He's a lot less... focused on how others perceive him. Nicky doesn't take well to folks perceiving him badly, but it's not an active thought for him. He knows he's weird and he likes being weird.

Nicky also exhibits ASPD traits a bit differently than me. I'm far more irritable than him and I jump quickly to aggression. I'm also more... ah... hostile to authority? Whereas Nicky is able to listen when we need to, it just makes me even more obstinate and angry. Neither of us likes bending the knee, so to speak, but Satanick will actually bite the bullet and do it. That bullet will be put in my knee before I do.

Candy Corn I don't think really has any of our NPD traits. There's room to be wrong there, but from what I've seen so far it's kind of just a wet cat. He also seems to exhibit less ASPD traits and more AVPD traits, but I couldn't really be sure. It's often difficult to tell what he's feeling.

Uhh... I dunno. I didn't bring up the BPD mostly because it's just so fucking commonplace in this system that it's extremely difficult to separate ourselves from our BPD traits. BPD is basically sewn into all of us (again, as far as I know), and picking apart differences feels like sorting sand. The only thing I can really pick out is that I'm far more prone to negative BPD splits than anyone else in this system.

As for the last question, I wouldn't quite say they show themselves 24/7? But they're very consistent, yes. I think the best example would be AVPD. That's the most "fluid" of them. I have days where it's easier to interact with folks. Days where I can talk and be open and not be internally shaking at the thought that I'm ruining myself in their eyes somehow. Days where I can take a risk or two and say hi to someone who I've never spoken to before. I do have days like that. And on those days, it can be difficult to even remember I actually experience avoidance.

On the other end, however, there are the days where I'm walking to class and terrified that I'm walking wrong, that I'm glancing at folks too long, that I'm holding my hands in a weird way. Days where I spend ten minutes debating whether I should like a post or not because what if it's weird that I like it or they think badly of me or they didn't want me to. The entire world is watching me and if I do something wrong it's all going to shatter. And everything I do is wrong. It's all always wrong on those days. On those particular days, it feels impossible to comprehend there are days that aren't like that. I know, logically, I've had them. But I can't fathom not having that lingering horror in the moment.

Aurgh, I'm so bad at actually writing out stuff like this. I think about it a lot, but it's difficult to put into words. If you have any further questions or want a clarification, feel free to send another ask. I really don't mind. Hope this was... "enlightening," I suppose?

[chuya-chuya-blog]

This didn't exactly fit with my previous post but I've gotta mention it.

With the ending of MHA, there is yet another gap in Shonen Jump. I'm sure it'll be filled, but we need to talk, guys.

There's no new big three. There hasn't been for a long time. There are big series, but no definitive trio. Nobody was debating if Bleach, Naruto, or One Piece were the big three. They just were. They all debuted around the same time, had distinctive themes and settings, and were knocking it out of the park on the sales charts. In fact, their era DEFINED the big three. Nobody was talking about a big three in the 90s. Because of them, we're having debates on what should be considered the previous big three.

Personally, I say it was Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin before it was disgraced, and DragonBall Z. But I also feel like DBZ is in a category of its own, as it debuted almost a decade before the others and was already well established. I consider DBZ the grandfather of shonen manga, and to that I say Slam Dunk probably fits in as part of the big three of the 90s. In terms of Shonen Jump manga, anyway.

Yes, Shonen Jump. Stop putting Sailor Moon and Pokémon in there, the big three are a Shonen Jump thing. I really would give Sailor Moon, Pokémon and DragonBall Z legendary status, if we're being honest. They're the grand marshal trio that helped introduce anime and manga to the west. There was a time when people thought every anime was Sailor Moon. Yes, really.

There's actually a ton of legendary anime and manga, but we westerners don't know of them all. That's a discussion for another day, anyway.

But in the new generation, the only "big three" type series we really had was MHA. Knocking it out of the park with battles, arcs, several movies and musicals, sales, etc., only MHA was reaching those heights on a consistent basis. Demon Slayer was popular, but it debuted later, finished earlier, and has an older audience. Jujitsu Kaisen also debuted much later than MHA and has darker tones. In fact, I'd say Demon Slayer and JJK are actually more similar to each other in scale and tone, than they are to MHA (and I'd include Kagurabachi in with this too, they all feel darker in tone to me). MHA was more lighthearted and was more suitable for a younger audience like the previous big three were.

When there are discussions about what the new big three series for Shonen Jump are, My Hero Academia is almost ALWAYS included. Even by people who don't like it. And that is the type of standing I'm talking about.

We don't have that right now. And with MHA gone, we REALLY don't have that. There is no current undeniable big three in Shonen Jump. One Piece is too old, Kagurabachi is too new, JJK is constantly killing off favorites, and Demon Slayer is over. We just don't have a trio like we did back in the day. We don't have a new series where people go, "Do you REALLY watch anime, or is it only Naruto?"

To be honest, I doubt we're gonna get a new trio. Today's demographics are very different. A whole host of issues plague the comics industry across the globe. Tastes vary widely with the selection of online comics available, and you can get your needs met virtually anywhere. The Shonen Jump battle manga formula is beginning to feel a bit stale to me, anyway, and honestly kinda forced, too. Lately, I've only found myself liking things like Shiba Inu Rooms and Psych House. Both just seem to be chill and at their own pace, not trying to set up that first big battle arc that they do to see if a series can hold interest. Maybe it's just me, but that formula is tired. When I detect that that's where a series is going, my eyes just glaze over.

Maybe the gap left by MHA will lead to a new big three, like the ending of DBZ did. They both ended at 42 volumes, too! Or maybe we just have to stop trying to force it like y'all are doing with Kagurabachi. It may just have to develop naturally, instead.

I really want to see a new trio, though. I'm just tired of the Shonen Jump formula they keep regurgitating. I guess we will have to wait and see.

[nessie31]

I’ve been debating writing this post all day. Last night it felt necessary; like there was no way to sort through my thoughts and feelings on the subject if I didn’t. But I knew if I started typing, J would be all up my ass and over my shoulder thinking I was texting L to bitch about him (and sure enough that’s what happened when I was typing something else). So I made myself a note to write it today.

Do I still feel strongly about the issue? Obviously or I wouldn’t have decided to write this. But there’s another part of me that just wants to ignore it and wasp it away so I don’t look too closely at it. Because if I ignore it then I can pretend everything is fine. I can pretend that it doesn’t break my soul continuing to allow it to happen.

But ignoring things has never been my strong suit.

Trust. Marriage, and relationships in general, in their most basic forms come down to trust. Do I trust this person to have my back? Do I trust them to stick by my side? Do I trust them to be honest with me? I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Now, do I know this is rich coming from me with everything I’ve done? Yes I do. But, like any good hypocrite, I’m going to say that’s a completely different situation with no baring on this situation.

I know I’ve done a lot of shit, especially in my teens and early twenties that was…questionable in character. I’ve lied to save face or get myself out of fucked up situations. Honestly though, who hasn’t?! I know I’m not the only one, and I know that it is not my distinguishing characteristic. I also know that it’s something I have been working hard on over the last few years; recognizing that stupid things are not worth lying about just to save face. But even so, it is thrown in my face CONSTANTLY in my marriage.

And my concern comes down to this. If you can’t trust me with the dumb shit, how can you trust me with the big shit. And furthermore, if you can’t trust me with the dumb shit, why are you with me?

I get that you love me. I get that the sex is great. And that’s true.

But if you CHOOSE to not trust me over the dumbest shit, AND fight me on it, then why the fuck stay with me?

But this gets even better.

When I am upset and offended by you not trusting me it’s “stupid and not worth getting upset over”. But when I say that I don’t trust you with my emotions and honest, it’s a huge ass deal that YOU get to be offended by because how dare I.

And honestly, isn’t that the bigger issue; the overarching issue that will be the breaking point? That at the end of the day, my opinions and feelings are consistently invalidated in almost every altercation.

I tried to ignore it. All day. And yet, I can’t put away the thought that when it really comes down to it, I don’t matter. My opinions/feelings will always come second if it offends or inconveniences you. As you’ve said once before, my feelings should not come at your expense. And honestly, hasn’t that been the theme of our last 2.5 years?

And that’s the problem.

You ask questions you already know and don’t actually want the answers to. Because you don’t like being the bad guy. Because you’ve built this image in your head about who you are. And you’ve told yourself this narrative about how you are constantly the victim being looked passed or set aside for people you consider to be less than you. You have built this idea in your head that you are better than other men because you fancy yourself a liberal feminist; even though you would never actually call yourself that because, connotation is everything.

You once asked me what S had done to me to cause me to change myself so drastically. How could someone so strong and independent and brash become so small and voiceless and manipulated. And you tie it up to the sex or his “silver tongue”.

But here’s the truth: he did the same thing then that you’re doing now.

Day by day, month by month, year by year he broke me down. Slowly, behind words said and the actions and words that were dismissed. He brought me down with every argument; making me feel as though it was always my fault. That I had caused it by something I did or said, something I didn’t do or say, or from just “overreacting” to something he deemed ridiculous.

Yeah, he told me he loved me. And yeah, he made sure I knew he thought I was hot. But just like with us, that’s not enough.

I need to know that I am valued. That my opinions matter. That my feelings matter. That you care about how I see things. That you pay attention to my past and my trauma. That it actually mattered. That you actually took it seriously.

But here is why I don’t trust you. Because I don’t.

Because I’m not valued. My opinions don’t matter. My feelings don’t matter. You don’t care about how I see things. You don’t pay attention to my past and my trauma. To you, it doesn’t matter. You don’t take it seriously.

And that’s broken me. Possibly beyond repair. Definitely beyond the point of caring. And I hate that.

I wish I felt bad, but I don’t. I wish it bothered me, kept me up at night, but it doesn’t; at least not for the reasons it should.

So now here I sit. Trying not to cry with 30 students in my room. Raging at you through a computer screen; on a post you will never see. My heart and emotions poured out on the page. And honestly, I’m left empty.

And what’s even worse, I know that I’m not going to do anything about it. Not right now and not any time soon; unless my hand is forced. So I have become one of those people I hate. The people who complain about their problems and do nothing to change it.

So here I sit.

[scrabbleknight]

Malaysian here. Since my country has been brought up, I feel like I should involve myself into this.

To confirm: yes, Malaysia does in fact have an affirmative action system but to the majority ruling race instead of the minority oppressed one. It's even written into our constitution. In fact, it's still heavily debated today! Not a lot of people are fans of it, me included. And I'm a Malay Muslim myself.

The system is rather stupid, all things considered. Public universities have a quote where a certain percentage of its students must be Malay. This inevitably pushes Non-Malays to expensive private universities. Additionally, government scholarships are only granted to Malays. So that's another money issue. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

It's also important to understand is that Malaysia's built-in discrimination system is only supported by two groups: politicians and leaders who want to stay in power, and the uneducated conservative masses that nobody likes but begrudgingly tolerates. The younger educated generation aren't a fan of it, and this is a growing population. Unfortunately, we're still ruled by either rich corrupt assholes of any age, rich racist old guys and racist religious extremists who aren't necessarily rich. We had a bloody 90+ year old as our PM at one point! And he was already our PM before! This was his 4th(?) term!

With all the crazy that's happening, what do you think happens? If non-Malays can't do anything to fix this, what do they do? They leave, hence Malaysia suffering from a brain drain (something I also want to do).

Anyway, this post of mine went god knows where and I ended up just writing a vent post, but the Malaysian system is fucked because people are stupid and they're proud of being stupid and unfortunately this includes the ruling class who don't even live in Malaysia (THEY LIVE IN THE FUCKING UK!!!).

Following the footsteps of South Africa; Qatar, Oman, Malaysia have submitted statements in ICJ too.

Thank you South Africa for taking the first step.

[recurringzombiedreams]

Been debating on whether or not I should post this but I decided that I should because part of it means progress.

So um. Hi. I’m Jasper, and I’m an alcoholic. Today I have been sober for 10 days.

I had a withdrawal dream last night. I’m actually surprised it took this long. I’ve tried to get sober a few times now and they usually start around day three or four.

It was a short part of a larger dream that I had where my ex-sponsor was there. She turns to me and asks if I want a drink. I told her yes, but I was getting sober and wanted to know why she had asked. She told me that I had been doing really well and I looked like I could use a drink so she would let it slide this time. I didn’t end up drinking though, and this was the only part of the dream that she was in.

The rest of the dream mostly took part in a school. I have no idea what grade I was in because I was going to the same school as my little brother, but he’s six and a half years younger than me so we had never been in the same school as each other. I think it was high school because I remember walking on a very specific stretch of road with a backpack on but he looked very young in the dream so who knows. It was the end of the school day and all I wanted to do was to get home, but I kept finding myself back in the school or on some sort of detour. I was kind of frantic by the end of the dream but I kept finding myself back in the school. I pressed the snooze button on my phone many, many times because I HAD to get home. But the thing is, I was trying to get to my childhood home, and I haven’t lived there for at least five years. All of my dreams involving being home or wanting to be home lead me back there, though.

[rueistired]

Australian Literature on Post Colonial Society - thoughts and feelings

I would like to start this with a preface. I am a white ‘Australian’ woman. My life has been shaped by the effects of post colonialism, and that is something I am only really becoming more aware of this in my adulthood. My grandfather on my mother's side was a logger here in Tasmania back when that was fashionable, and the TVs were all black and white. In contrast, my mother is a greenie. I don't fully grasp the Indigenous feelings toward what they call 'country', I cannot. It is not part of me in the same way. It isn't my culture, or my space to inhabit.

But I do wish I understood more.

It's only in recent years that any Indigenous literature has found its way to me, that I've learned how they once took care of this land we call home. Before then, the Australian literature I consumed was predominantly written by white men and women who, like me, didn't have another perspective on our nation. Now that Indigenous stories are becoming more easily accessible in the mainstream it is becoming far more apparent that we have had the mic for far too long and we don't know the land as well as we thought.

Australia isn't Britain, but we pretended it was. We worked the land as though it was, and we've made so many mistakes by doing so.

Chloe Hooper, the author of The Arsonist: A Mind on Fire (2018) (read on Audible) says it well late in chapter one, how our native trees, the eucalyptus, create the perfect environment for fire around them and ward off any new growth with natural chemicals. Additionally, how the ‘Indigenous Australians managed this pyrophile ecology to their own advantage, [but] among European settlers it created a sub-community of destructive fire setters’ (Chapter 1, 15:22-15:31) a horrific trend that continues today. The early European colonisers didn’t see the point of the indigenous ways native Australians dealt with this ‘pyrophile ecology’ and again, to this day, governments pointedly refuse to listen. The results are unfortunately in our news every summer.

Our government is debating being in ‘a voice’ for Indigenous Australians into parliament, but again, will they even listen to that voice? I have my doubts when they won’t even listen to anyone else regardless of decent once in power. But I digress, I’m not here to talk about politics today.

Looking back on the set readings for The Arsonist for this assignment I looked at Moreton-Robinson’s chapter I still call Australia Home (2003) and found that a lot of it resonated with my feelings on the currently entrenched capitalist society here in Australia. The notion of ownership vs ‘the Indigenous sense of belonging’ (23) that for many of European/British decent just doesn’t seem to compute. I place myself in that category too, for the cultures are so very different that everywhere we turn, 99% of the media we consume that is Australian is predominantly made by and for those of European decent. Yes, in recent decades things have improved marginally, but that doesn’t undercut the fact that we are still here, and still hold the mic. We still claim ownership of the country, and we still have a white man as a ‘leader’. We still don’t listen as much as we should.

Going back to Hooper’s The Arsonist (2018) in chapter 4 she touches more on the ways native Australians used fire to their advantage. Something that I find fascinating and didn’t really know until reading this book.

‘Aboriginals used fire for illumination, for signalling, for creating tracks for travel, for inducing green growth for the animals they hunted. For pursuing animals fleeing a blazes flank, for harvesting such food as sweet tuberous yam roots and for preventing larger conflagrations which they could not control. Fire was used in ceremonies, and there were ceremonies about fire. Flames and their endless complex play with the seasons and flora and wind were inseparable from daily life and culture.’ (Chapter 4, 2:40-3:14)

In this one section, I have learnt more than I ever did in school about the native and traditional owners of this land. Which is both incredibly sad and pretty on par for what we can expect of an education system and syllabus build for and by white Europeans. The books I read in High school were all along the same vein, throwing ‘classics’ at us all written back in Europe, and the few Australian books that were chosen were written by, predominantly, white men.

Even this unit, makes me question things. Why was Hoopers book, a white woman, chosen over someone like Victor Steffensen, a man of Indigenous decent who wrote Fire Country back in 2020? It’s theme and messaging and perspective could certainly benefit this unit, and yet, it’s overlooked.

Our society in Australia is built upon the long lingering effects of colonialism, our literature (and schools) mirror this in ways that aren’t always the clearest until we look back. Hindsight is 20-20 as it’s said. The ways we teach our children, farm and work the land, and govern are all stark reminders of where most of us came from and how we have tried to make Australia more like those lands from which our ancestors travelled.

With this line of thought we must ponder the question of what Australian literature really means when we say it. Graham Huggan, in his book Australian Literature: Postcolonialism, Racism, Transnationalism (2007) posits that that it ‘represents a collective national project’ (5) and that along this line of thought ‘Australian literature is an index of the national consciousness if, at the same time, a necessarily unreliable descriptor of the rapidly transforming realities of national social and cultural life’ (5) which is both accurate and an interesting way to put it. Australia as it is now, is simply put, a complicated mess and the literature we are now producing has begun to show it. The more culturally and racially diverse the media we release and thus more diverse perspectives we consume as a result the better and more prepared we are to properly challenge the norms that our forebears put in place.

It's said that we must understand where we’ve been to know where it is we’re going. However, when it comes to colonial roots, how far we look back can ultimately determine the path we choose. If all we look back to is those who arrived, uninvited and claimed land that wasn’t theirs, all we have is that perspective. I cannot remember a single piece of media, literature or otherwise, that focused on an Indigenous Perspective from before, or during the time of colonisation. At least not one that wasn’t made by the colonisers themselves and thus the portrayal was skewed horribly.

In closing, I suppose I’ll say, that while Australian literature is in a bit of a messy state, there are far more diverse voices than there were 15 years ago now in circulation and that warms my heart. For it allows people like me, of European decent, that burn after 10 seconds in the Aussie sun, to read and hear from people from differing backgrounds and cultures that might know better than me about the land I live on.

And that, I think, is a gift.

References:

Hooper, C 2018, The Arsonist: A Mind on Fire Audible., Penguin Random House Australia, Melbourne, Victoria.

Huggan, G 2007, Australian Literature: Postcolonialism, Racism, Transnationalism reprint., OUP Oxford, retrieved May 10, 2023, from <https://books.google.com.au/books?id=zBG0lA9cGaoC&lpg=PT5&ots=wp44zTfKkm&dq=Australian%20literature%20on%20the%20effects%20of%20colonialism%20on%20modern%20australia&lr&pg=PT27#v=onepage&q&f=false>.

Moreton-Robinson, A 2003, ‘I still call Australia Home: Indigenous Belong and Place in a White Postcolonising Society’, in S Ahmed (ed), Uprootings/re-groundings: questions of home and migration, Oxford; Berg, New York, p. 23.

[mewmewkitten101]

Keiko Kuromiya, Chapter 1: A Whole New World... Erm, I Mean Country

alright so i keep forgetting and not having the time to update the kingdoms character introduction post so here's a treat from me to you (seriously someone remind me to update it again). first chapter of keiko kuromiya on tumblr! i still prefer to post on ao3 and wattpad so here's the links to the ao3 and wattpad versions if your like me. ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41188155/chapters/103253859 wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1261336955-keiko-kuromiya-the-cut-faced-woman-chapter-1-a

keiko kuromiya was also originally meant to be a story that's free for all to read everywhere! But if you enjoy reading and want to throw some money at me for your appreciation then please head to these links below!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MewClawfur Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/mewmewkitten redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/MewMewKitten/shop?asc=u

without further ado, let's get into it!

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March 20th, 2022, 12:19 AM

Well, from the bad news I learned today at least I got a new diary, which I’ve been needing for a month. I suppose you and I should get acquainted, new diary. I’m Keiko Kuromiya, how are you? Yes, I know treating my diary like a sentient being seems a little weird, but I’ve made a name for myself for being weird. Maybe this diary will end up somewhere when I’m older, those readers should at least know my name. I’ll get into the bad part of today now, it’ll probably be the most interesting thing to happen for THIS, diary #37. And yes, I’ve had 36 previous diaries. Oh, one last thing. I also name my diaries. How about… Tanya for you, #37? Good? Perfect!

It all started during spring break. I was hyped because who doesn’t love a break? I started planning outfits and stuff while talking to my friends but then my parents  dropped the bomb on me just earlier today. 

We’re moving to Japan the 25th.

Despite the sound of my name and my physical appearance (which is very east asian looking, except for the fact I have freckles from my mom), I’m Japanese-Irish. Papa grew up in Japan and was there all his life until college. He went abroad to study, where he met my mom. All of a sudden, his priorities changed. My Japanese grandparents weren’t happy for him wanting to leave, but he refused to stay. It would be easier for him to move to America where he already knew the language and was already familiar with everything there, compared to my mom, who would have to start learning and becoming familiar. To appease them, he did promise that someday we would move back to Japan. 

Originally the plan was to move when I was eleven, but we kept pushing it off for another year, then saying to let me finish middle school first. Would there ever really be a good time though? I knew it had to happen eventually, my paternal grandparents were too stubborn to ever let it go.

So earlier today we were sitting around the dinner table at home, the very small and brown one. We were eating miso ramen, which Papa grew up eating. Some of the ingredients we can’t find around here though, not even at any of the asian supermarkets which annoys him to no end. 

I’m just sitting there, enjoying my ramen, when my mom starts to ask me a question.

“Keiko, you know how your grandparents always wanted us to move to Japan?” 

“Oh no, is that happening soon?” I shrank in my seat.

“Yes. We debated whether to tell you in advance or closer to the moving day. We couldn’t decide in the end so unfortunately we could only tell you now. I’m sorry Keiko.” Papa apologized, bowing in his seat.

“Couldn’t we have waited until I was older?” I protested.

“We’re sorry, but we already bought a house and everything, it’s too late to back out now.” Mom apologized again. 

I was already close to tears, so I went to my room. I was sobbing for hours and hours. I stayed in bed for a good couple of hours, overthinking everything, which is what I do every day of my life, so that’s not very unusual.

I’m kind of annoyed they waited THIS long. Not just kind of, extremely, EXTREMELY annoyed. No, not annoyed, upset and angry. I knew this was happened at some point, but why do I have to find out this on my spring break, and it’s happening in four days? I think it might’ve been fun to buy a house with them if they just told me earlier!

I did suspect this though, because I was looking at a few colleges just for fun (listen, you can never be too prepared for college) and they were quiet and kept staring back at each other.

Anyway, at like, 9 PM my mom knocked at the door.

“Keiko, are you awake?” She whispered.

“Yes.” I sat up in my bed, revealing myself from the covers.

“Your father and I were talking. What if during holidays your friends can fly out to Japan or we can go visit them. I know that doesn’t fix us moving but I know how important it is you keep seeing them and everything.” Mom said.

“Please, I want to keep seeing them in Japan.”

“Alright. We’re leaving the 25th. Maybe we can have one last big hurrah before then?”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll tell them tomorrow.” 

“Oh, and one more thing. We finally got you a new diary! Sorry it took so long. Okay, goodnight Keiko.” Mom handed me my new diary before closing the door. In darkness I come make out a black composition notebook.

Obviously, I wrote in my diary first before actually going to sleep. Which I guess I’ll be doing right now. Goodnight.

March 21th, 2022, 5:29 PM

Four Days Until The Move

Time is limited so I will be updating this diary after dinner, which I just finished. Today I had to break the news to my freinds. I also recorded the entire text chat. In the future my diaries may be fine literature and I’d like to look back at them if anything does happen to them. But also sometimes I can write conversations into my diary while bored and trying to think of something to write about.

Me

Guys I have important news I learned last night

10:48 AM

Clay 😠

How are you awake so early

Anyway what’s up that doesn’t sound good

10:48 AM

Me

You guys know how I’ve talked about how I’ll probably move to Japan someday

We’re moving there on the 25th

10:49 AM

Clay 😠

WHAT YOU DIDN’T THINK TO TELL US 10:49 AM

Me

IF IT WAS UP TO ME I WOULD’VE KNOWN WAY EARLIER

MY PARENTS TOOK TOO LONG TO DECIDE ON IF THEY SHOULD’VE TOLD ME WAY IN ADVANCE OR CLOSER TO THE MOVING DAY BUT THEY DEBATED FOR SO LONG THEY ONLY THOUGHT TO TELL ME LAST NIGHT

10:51 AM

Lukey Boy

Your parents are a little stupid tbh

10:51 AM

Anneville

THEY WHAT?

Am I legally allowed to throw hands

10:52 AM

Me

No.

So like are you guys free between now and the 25th?

Would you guys also wanna like come to the airport and see me one last time before I go to Japan.

10:53 AM

CLEAR SHEPARD

I just woke up what the heck I didn’t wanna be hit with you moving away

10:54 AM

Lukey Boy

You should’ve tried not staying awake until 3 in the morning

10:55 AM

CLEAR SHEPARD

Whatever I’m not getting into a fight right now

Anyway Keiko I’m free today maybe we can do something? :D

I don’t care what my parents say though I WILL be there on the 25th. Just tell me what time

10:56 AM

Clay 😠

I’m free the 25th too

10:56 AM

Lukey Boy

Me too!

10:57 AM

Anneville

Me as well!

I’m gonna be on vacation until that day unfortunately so I won’t see you until the 25th but we’ll make the best of it!

10:58 AM

Me

Okay okay good

Let me ask my parents what time we’re leaving

10:59 AM

Me

Okay so they said the 25th at 5 PM

We’re basically gonna spend the morning going to places I grew up and doing like a last goodbye

We’re getting up at 8 AM to pack and everything

You guys can either come to the airport in the afternoon just for the send off part or join us in the morning too.

The car is getting taken by a friend so we can drive you guys in the morning but after we leave for Japan you’re gonna need a ride sorted out because obviously we won’t be there to drive you back home

This is the schedule mom and dad set up

8:00 - 8:30 Pack away stuff, put in the car

8:30 - 9:30  Eat breakfast at IHOP

9:30 - 10:00 Go to the playground at the elementary school

10:00 - 10:10 Drive past the middle and high school

10:10 - 11:00 Visit my mom’s side of the family

11:05 - 2:00 Drive to the airport

2:00 - 3:00 Bag checks

3:00 - 4:00 Lunch?

4:00 - 5:00 Wait until it’s time

5:00 Time.

11:10 AM

CLEAR SHEPARD

Do you know where you’re moving to?

How long is the flight?

11:11 AM

Me

Somewhere in Hokkaido

The actual flight itself is like 30 hours

We’re doing like 2 layovers

Gonna be a very long flight

I’ll be texting you in between landings

I’m gonna have to get a new phone though so I may need to like write a letter sending you my new number or something

Anyway we’ve been talking about this way too long Clara what should we do

Anyone else that’s free can tag along

11:12 AM

CLEAR SHEPARD

I can! :D!

Let’s hang out at 2

Maybe at the ice cream shop or something

11:13 AM

Clay 😠

I’m bored I’m gonna tag along

11:14 AM

Me

Kk see y’all in a bit!

11:14 AM

And then nothing else exciting happened until we met up.

Oh, Tanya, I haven’t introduced you to the rest of my friends either! Clay is Clayton Van Der Veen, Clear Shepard is Clara Shepard, Lukey boy is Lucas Slater and Anneville is Annika Granville.

Okay moving on. I cannot possibly explain and write all the conversations we had. I think the memories of today is better through the videos and quotes I took. But yeah we had fun getting ice cream and reminiscing the past years of our lives.

Eleven years of friendship and in four days it could fizzle out. Or we could become more bonded than we’ve ever been. I’m terrified, honestly. My friends have a better time staying close with people when they can interact with them. Personally I don’t, but our group has had people come and go. 

There was once a girl Clara, Luke, Annika and I knew for a really long time. Her name was Jia Xun. She was one of the other few Asian kids in the school. Screw it, honestly, maybe even in the entire district. We met in 2nd grade. But 2 years ago the summer before we were starting highschool she had to move away. Things went on kind of normally for like six months. We still talked constantly, we’d visit whenever we could. But after that six month honeymoon period slowly everyone else started to distance away from her. We made a new group chat just for the four of us. A group chat of the people that live in town, they said. I still talk to her quite a lot, she doesn’t respond much.

And sometimes I wonder, did I contribute to all that by accident? Is that why she doesn’t respond to me a lot of the time? What if I become the next Jia? Clay was essentially Jia’s “replacement”. We met him quite literally the day after Jia moved away. What if they ditch me and I get replaced?

It’s getting late. Tomorrow I guess I’ll bring it up to whoever can hang out with me.

March 22nd, 2022, 6:05 PM

Three Days Until The Move

I rushed through dinner to update my diary tonight. Literally shoving down chicken and rice down my throat. I almost choked, that was pretty fun. Mom and Papa tried to have a little conversation with me but I could only respond with my mouth full of food. Anyway, hopefully I can properly log everything that happened today.

Me

Who can hang out today

Kinda wanna talk about something important

Besides Annika

Mom and Papa are out doing important moving stuff so I have the house to myself for awhile

1:49 PM

CLEAR SHEPARD

I WOKE UP EARLY FOR THIS

YES

Do your parents know how to make coffee by any chance by the way

1:50 PM

Me

Yes

Also oh my god the prophecy has been fufilled

1:50 PM

Lukey Boy

Yes

Anybody wanna play some video games I can bring some

1:50 PM

Clay 😠

I’m also free

1:51 PM

Me

You guys can come over like right now if you want

1:52 PM

Lukey Boy

Kk!

1:53 PM

They came over in like twenty minutes. Maybe thirty minutes of them beng over, we’re in the tv room, gaming together, and having a great time. I’ve agonized over how and when to bring up the topic of moving, so I bring up Jia.

“Do you guys still talk to Jia at all? She doesn’t respond to me anymore.”

“Occassionally, yeah. She seems busy most of the time.” Clara said.

“Is that why we all stopped talking to her regularly?” 

“Yeah, I think since she’s sixteen now, she’s looking for a job and has friends in North Woods that she naturally got closer to since she probably sees them often.” Clay sighed.

“That makes sense. Do you think that… when I move to Japan we won’t be friends anymore?” I asked. I slowly breathed, biting my lip. I can’t cry here. Not in front of them. I hate crying in front of other people.

“Who knows for sure? We’ll do our best to make it work. Believe me, I felt the same when I moved away from my hometown.” Luke reassured me. 

“Even if it does happen we promise our friendship wouldn’t end on a sour note.” Said Clay.

I was so relieved. I always was suspicious about Jia slowly getting pushed out of the group but it does make sense when I think about it.

After that it was mostly just. More dumb stupid shenaniganery, including but not limited to: Clara drinks so much coffee she starts shaking, Clay hates hiveswap, and Luke commits crimes in pokemon.

Another day better recorded with videos than in my diary. I wonder if they’d ever consider making videos playable in books or something. Anyway, goodnight.

March 25nd, 2022, 8:05 PM

3 Hours and 5 Minutes After Boarding

Okay, usually I am obsessed with my diary and recording my day but I was . get to do much else.

Gotta be honest, I’m a little tuckered out and sad so I’m gonna do a summary of today rather then a full detailed run down.

I woke up at like 6:30 to pack super early so I could dedicate some time to texting my friends. And to cry. This is something people do right? I thought if I cried in the morning I would have no tears to shed… but that didn’t do much I cried like every part of the day. 

Then at 9 we went for breakfast at IHOP. We made a reservation since there was 15 of us. Us kids all sat at one end of the table while the adults were at the other end. We laughed, we all cried, we got a dessert. I also got gifts from Clara, Clay, Luke and Annika for some reason. Another diary from Clara, a new dress from Annika, what I can assume to only be a years’ worth of hair dye from Clay and some books about Japan from Luke. Luke’s been preparing for this since the day we met for some reason and he read up on Japan a long time ago and it was only fitting he pass them on to me. I never told Luke that someday I would move to Japan immediately so I don’t know why he had them since the day we met.

At 9:30 we hit up the playground at the elementary school. Luke never visited so we ended up recording a video like we’re doing an MTV house tour. Yeah don’t ask we don’t know either we thought it was funny.

At 10 we drove past the high school and middle school. We all reminisced about our middle school adventures and high school adventures. Then my friends all went to the airport since traffic was bad and my parents and I went to my maternal grandparents’ house. 

We got there at 10:10. It wasn’t really a drive since my grandparents live right by the elementary school. I said hello and goodbye to a bunch of my relatives, though in all honesty I was more focused on talking to my friends. Grandpa and Grandma were bawling to my Mom and Papa. They love dad so dearly, since Mom grew up in a house of like, her and six other sisters.

Then at 11:05 we made our way to the airport. Traffic was bad, as usual. We got there at 2 for bag checks then met up with my friends for lunch. This was when it was really hitting me.

I mean we’re all in a position where we can visit each other no problem. Okay with some problems but those problems aren’t money. We’re not gonna be able to see each other regularly. I can’t tour my new school, talk about the teacher feuds and drama that the upper or underclassman have with them like I used to. I was bawling the entire time.

We finished by 4 and by then we basically had to play the waiting game. I was stressed out of my mind. I was too embarrassed to talk and let my friends hear my crying voice but I felt a little peace being surrounded by them.

At 4:50 we went to wait in line, my friends all joined us despite them not boarding so we could soak up as much interaction as possible. By then all of us were in tears and our parents were all starting to get sappy too. We started all saying goodbye. Then, it was the dreaded boarding.

They waved all in tears, I waved back, and I stepped down my gate, tears streaming down my face. My parents comforted me as we found our seat. I got the window seat and looked over and over at my gifts and my friends encouraging words. I wasn’t sure if I could be okay without them in Japan. I still feel that way.

I’m terrified. I can speak Japanese well. Papa has taught me the reading and I know katakana and hiragana fine, but I’m so bad at kanji. My grandparents in Japan wrote letters to me growing up so I could practice my writing, and though I have done my best to learn kanji I still need Papa to help me translate and read it. Thinking about this is starting to make me feel more upset so I’m going to try to calm down, maybe read one of the books Luke gave me.

The yokai seems interesting so I’ll tackle that one first. Later, diary.