#was a rough day and i took a nap after work lmao

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

I'll be (very) slowly chipping away at the event so pls be patient with me friends.

[boeingboingboing]

Let's talk ships today.

I'm going to spit out some personal headcanons about them. Few inspired by cetaceans!

I believe that ships with their disadvantage of size and limitations to only being in water, in a hierarchy, they wouldn't be the 'dominating' vehicle. I feel like if there was like a hierarchy, cars would be on the top due to various advantages in terms of size and their build. I mean in WoC movies we've seen cars take up many jobs, and the buildings or the cities are usually to their liking and comfort of living. Anyway, back to ships!

-> First, Evolution and types: I imagine that ever since boats came into existence, they were relied on by other vehicles like cars and such. And that grew onto them and became their sole purpose. I believe they evolved according to the new demands to fulfill their purpose. Various ships developed, such as cargo, passenger, vehicle carrier, warships etc. The only change in them is how technological they are. Like sail-ships becoming ships operating with oil, which is a change they took in to keep up with the demands. Pretty much how oceanliners were quite literally forced to evolve into cruise ships. How do they evolve? Maybe for example changing their build, as we know vehicles can modernise themselves, and those genes being passed onto their offspring.

-> Adaptation & learning: They tend to adapt to changes quickly. They are made to resist all sorts of weather, adapt to new environments, and job changes (Like Langley being turned into an aircraft carrier from collier). In learning part, they have excellent memory and learn basics of anything if thought right. Their analytical skills and reasoning skills are pretty good in most ships.

- Most who are built are raised strictly to be best for their profession.

-> General view: Gentle giants! I love to think of ships being the utmost gentle, atleast most of them hah.

-> Eating habits; Ships can go on without eating for long periods, as long as they are regularly fueled. However they are capable of consuming most foods taken by smaller boats or vehicles which they could possibly enjoy after those long gaps of not eating lol.

-> Sleeping habits: Ships sleep for rather short intervals. Due to their work, they've adapted such habits. Most ships are capable of staying awake for days. Mainly due to the rough conditions at sea and such. In calm seas, i imagine ships taking short naps as the crew onboard monitor them. And with their extensive usage in war, some warships and other ships as well have been able to sleep with half their brain at rest (like dolphins and whales!).

-> Flexibility; ships are surprisingly flexible to a certain extent. Mainly in turning to their sides and their front have section up and down. Although they are quite slow when doing so lol.

-> Reproduction: While ships are built, they are capable of reproduction. How do they do the 'deed'? Well, male whales have quite the interesting member mechanism. The whale can literally control/guide it. So yeah, that concept but with ships lmao (I watched a documentary that's how I know 💀). The female's gestation period lasts 1 year.

-> Sensory organs; their sight and hearing is usually very sharp. Sense of touch is slightly poor due to their huge build and material. Sense of smell is the poorest of all sensory organs of theirs.

That's it for now. I mean that is kinda alot. Anyway if anyone has any questions, i would gladly answer hehh.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3266

today was a really long day.

work was good, and we got to do observations throughout the campus and we got to use dataminr to look at international stuff. i used the radio! i gotta write down everyone's names and what their short it's are because everyone on security has a unit number. so if i can remember who is what, i can call for specific people instead of just "available rover."

this morning i told myself that i wasn't going to rush anywhere. and yknow what? i didn't rush but i still for places in time. hell yeah.

i took a nap oh the bus ride gone.

after getting back from work i went almost straight to bed because i was so exhausted (still am lmao). but i didn't sleep. i watched videos until i needed food.

but when i went to get food, i ended up rear-ending someone because he didn't go at the green light. and then i cried and called joel and i had a rough few hours, but then i went to applebees and got mozzarella sticks and dinner. after that i stopped at DQ and got some ice cream, which i ate after putting in my laundry.

anyway, joel helped me calm down a lot. he's got a level head and i'm all over the place, so he balances me out. i'm so grateful for him and i love him so much.

anyway, i'm fighting to keep my eyes open so i'm gonna go sleep.

[shadowsinger11]

Adult Fun

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Requested by @theweasleytwinsgirl: hi love, can i request a fred fic in which it is quarantine then reader and fred try do it but their baby keeps on crying, thanks love!

Warnings: smut in case you haven't figured this out, pouty Freddie is adorable af

A/N: My god, I actually loved this request a lot! And I really enjoyed writing it lmao

Gif is not mine

Masterlist

Having a child with Fred was a blessing. The war was merciful enough to let you leave unharmed and years later you were lucky enough to have a baby of your own as you had dreamed for such long time.

Fred was an incredible father, no doubt, he was extremely caring and loving, showing a much softer side to your kid; one you'd never guess he had. But with the responsibility of raising a child came very limited time for you and Fred to relax, and it was understandable to say that your husband had become unusually moody over the past year since your baby was born.

Fred truly loved being a parent, but he really missed those passionate, intimate moments he used to share with you as his wife. He missed having your body trembling beneath him, he missed the feeling of your heated skin moving against his.

His need for you was growing stronger overtime and it had become terribly obvious when he started to walk around your house shirtless more often, pants hanging a little lower and hair messier than usual. But you couldn't really blame him; you'd been craving some adult time with your lover just as much as he did.

When quarantine struck, you handled it surprisingly well.

It was unpleasant to not be able to meet your loved ones for awhile, but at least you and Fred had more time to spend with each other. That's when his touches became lingering, more urgent and even slightly rough. Gentle caresses of your thighs and hips would turn into squeezing the soft flesh and chaste kisses would end with his tongue between your lips.

You hated to admit that the lack of intimacy was taking a toll on you as well. And unfortunately, baby naps weren't of enough time for you to catch up with what you both desperately wanted.

And that's why you tried very hard to keep yourselves busy while being stuck at home with your baby asleep upstairs.

Dozens of movies, TV shows, board games and even some poor cooking attempts which ended in a disaster, did nothing to help you and Fred in the months of a global pandemic and you ended up lying on the couch in your living room with absolutely nothing to.

"Merlin, I cannot possibly watch another episode," grumbled Fred, tossing the remote aside. "My head's about to explode."

You chuckled at his antic, but couldn't help but agree, "Honestly, mine too."

Your legs were nestled between Fred's long ones, head resting peacefully on his chest as he lazily ran fingers through your hair. You buried your face into the cotton of his red T-shirt and inhaled his characteristic scent of coffee and cedar, not planning to move away anytime soon. It had been exceptionally rare to be able to spend entire days simply cuddling your lover, but once quarantine happened, you often found yourselves snuggled up on the couch in your pajamas and you cherished those moments of seemingly eternal peace and security.

The way Fred tenderly caressed your sides up and down nearly caused you to fall asleep and you hugged him closer.

"You know what we haven't done in awhile?" Fred's low, groggy voice brought you back to consciousness. You slightly pulled away to look at him and sat between his legs.

After months of not having to run the shop, Fred didn't find it as necessary as before to make himself that presentable and his wild ginger hair now nearly reached his shoulders. But at the end, it was you who most enjoyed his messy, laid back look.

You lifted a hand to caress his cheek, thin stubble tingling your fingertips, and asked timidly, already having a vague idea.

"What?"

Fred involuntarily licked his lips and reached a hand to the collar of your thin shirt, gently slipping the hem down your shoulder to expose your bare neck and collarbones. His thumb traced patterns over the sensitive skin, causing goosebumps to rise upon it, and you looked into his eyes, dark brown irises blown with desire which you hadn't encountered in a long time and made you shudder under his touch.

"It's been awhile since I last had you," he purred, the corners of his lips curling up in a dark smirk that immediately sent you into submission and had you craving. "Will you let me have you now, little girl?"

Your mind immediately wandered to your child.

"What about the baby?" you asked, worried.

"Nothing will happen as long as we're quiet," Fred shrugged, then switched back to his dominant persona and caressed your bottom lip with his thumb. "Can you be quiet for me?"

A strangled moan tore from your throat before you managed to stop it, and you eagerly placed your legs on either side of your lover's lap, wrapping hands around his neck. Fred's grin grew wider at your neediness and his hands came down to greedily squeeze your hips and ass. He slammed his mouth onto yours, devouring your desperate whimpers and causing you to grip the hair at the nape of his neck. 

You rolled your hips against Fred's, hinting at how impatient you were, and he was more than happy to carefully lay you back on the couch and slip off your pajama shorts. His eyes stared at your black panties, undoubtedly damp at that point, and you could tell by his furrowed brow that Fred was already recalling all the things he'd planned to do to you for quite a long time.

"Darling, we have a lot of catching up to do," he breathed and ran a finger over your clothed core. It was warm and positively soaked, and Fred's mind went wild with uncontrollable hunger. His fingers tugged at the hem of your panties and slowly slid them down your thighs and legs, aiming to savor the moment before finally getting what he wanted.

The desire growing in his pants made it very clear that Fred needed release just as much as you did, so you let a hand wander down your body, giving him a show of your exposed pussy. You knew your game had worked when you earned a low growl from Fred, and he crawled between your legs, tongue wettening your swollen lips with one long lick.

"Fred..." you sighed and your head fell back, hands coming down to fist his ginger locks once again.

A cry from upstairs caused Fred to pull away.

You shared a knowing, slightly disappointed look. Fred groaned quietly, but rose to his feet nonetheless.

"I'll get it."

You lied back with a heavy sigh, staring up at the ceiling for the few extremely long minutes in which Fred was gone. You were relieved when the crying soon ceased, and you grinned widely as your lover crawled up to you, looking at you up and down.

"Where were we?" he asked smugly, smiling against your lips. You giggled into the kiss, arms grabbing onto his shoulders for support as his hand slipped between your thighs, fingers slyly playing with your folds and getting coated in your juices.

You bit back a low moan, buckling your hips up to create more friction. Fred's pace turned more urgent and he slipped two fingers inside you, thumb rubbing your swollen clit in rapid circles. Your sighs turned into choked gasps and your thighs began to quiver.

That was exactly what Fred had missed so dearly. He missed seeing you in such a pure state of pleasure; the rising and falling of your chest, your puffed parted lips, your eyes squeezed shut from the unbearable euphoria. Fred had terribly missed being the one to make you feel ecstatic.

Soon the spark in your belly ignited and you came hard around Fred's fingers, biting into the back of your hand to muffle the filthy moans that threatened to escape. That was the moment when he found you most beautiful; natural, radiant and happy.

His patience was wearing thin at that point, his erection aching from the lack ot touch, and Fred quickly took off his pants and underwear. His thick cock was painfully hard, the red swollen tip already leaking precum, and the prominent vein from the underside had you longing to taste it.

Fred gave his length a few slow strokes and your mouth began to water.

You eagerly spread your legs, inviting your lover to take you, and he nearly did, holding your thighs open to position himself at your entrance.

But the baby cried out again.

Fred cursed under his breath, the frustration finally taking over him for not being able to make love to you properly.

"I don't understand!" he whined, pulling back to sit on the couch. "It's not hungry, nor does it need a change of the diaper. What am I doing wrong?"

You moved closer to him and brushed a strand of ginger hair behind his ear. His pouty face both made you want to laugh and be sympathetic, and you gave him a sweet, apologetic smile.

"Chances are, it probably only needs a bit of some motherly charm to fall asleep."

Fred still seemed unsatisfied with having been interrupted after finally getting some alone time with you for the first time in what seemed like forever, but he didn't object as you put your clothes back on and left to check up on the baby.

However, before you walked up the stairs, you glanced at Fred over your shoulder with a mischievous smirk that immediately replaced the scowl on his face with a hungry expression.

"Give me a few minutes. And then I'm sucking you off."

@self-ship-love @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hufflexpuff @neovannii

Message me if you want to be added to the tag list, babes

Reblog my work if you enjoyed it!

Masterlist

[jadedxrealityw]

-Lipstick- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

   Request: heyy! i was wondering if you could do a draco x slytherin! female reader where they're secretly dating and after a make out session in the broom closet, she enters at the great hall and her friend tells her that her lipstick was smeared and her tie was loose, and then draco enters the great hall with messy hair and lipstick on his neck, then her friend connects the dots and kinda freak out!!! i saw a pov on tiktok and this idea has just been playing on my mind for a while now hahahaha

   Kody- lmao this is going to be too funny.

   Warning: cursing, mature themes, Draco being dom and a horny bastard.

   House: Slytherin

   ♡~🐍~♡

   a groan fell past his lips as you tugged on the platinum locks on his head. He continued to leave hot kisses on your neck, as his hand traced small circles on your inner thigh. “Draco” you whine, feeling his smirk against the sensitive skin of your neck.

   “So needy darling” he teases, removing his mouth from your neck and captures your lips in his. You respond to his rough kiss and pull harsher on his hair, causing the Slytherin to hiss. You both pull and grab at each others like it be the last time you two could.

   which as half true. See you and Draco Malfoy were in a relationship going on for 6 months now, but both of you had decided to keep it a secret. Draco didn’t want his family interfering in his relationship and people to use you against him. If anyone ever hurt you to get to him, he wouldn’t know what to do.

   oh yeah, the young Malfoy told you about his family's history of being death-eaters and such and much to his surprise you still loved the boy the same. He knew in that moment he had found the right girl and swore on his heart that he’d never let you go.

   those were the times he was sweet and caring. Now was not one of those times. You see Draco liked being dominant over you, watching you squirm and whine for his touch was a breathtaking sight. He liked how you responded to the simplest of touch.

    back to the sin, Draco bites your bottom lip gently, pulling it back a bit before letting go. You take the opportunity start nipping at his own neck, hearing his own whines and groans (i can’t take myself seriously) which made you grin. You plant a chaste kiss before pulling back.

   he glared at you “your not in charge here darling” he spoke in a low tone as his hands worked there way up your uniform shirt and began to unbutton it, undoing your tie just enough to slip it over your head. He throws it somewhere on the ground of the closet before turning his attention back to you.

   he began to plant kisses on your collar bone, stopping occasionally to leave dark purple love bites in various spots. Claiming his territory he would call it everytime you would complain. You bit your bottom lip to suppress any loud noises that threatened to leave your mouth.

    you felt your body ignite in sparks as he started to trail his mouth lower, kissing the valley between your breast once before he slowly gets onto his knees. His mouth reached the top of your skirt before he’s startled by kids being loud in the hallway. Lunch had started and students were flooding the halls.

   you look down at the now scowling boy and watches as he stands up “I hate having little to no time with you” he grumbles. You give him a small smile as you begin to button up your shirt again. “I’m all yours when we graduate” you reply, trying to lift his spirits.

   he raises a brow for a moment before crouching down to grab your tie from the floor “That day can’t come soon enough” he mutters and places the tie around your neck. You smile at his small pout “I’ll leave first okay?” you say, his response was only a quick nod.

   you turn to the door and went to reach for the handle of the door when Draco grabs your wrist and spins you around to face him again. He places a sweet and quick kiss on your lips “I love you” he mumbles against your lips. Your unable to control the wide smile forming on yout face.

   “i love you too” you say back, making the pale boy smile along with you. He raises your hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to your knuckles before letting go. You finally open the door and peek out to check if anyone was around before stepping out.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   you take a seat next to the one and only Theodore Nott, your best friend for life. “Oh hey- what in the fuck happened to you?” he laughs, your brow raising in confusion “what do you mean?” you ask while he picks up his napkin and began to wipe the sides of your mouth.

   “your lipstick is smeared” he says and you feel your face flush, remembering the earlier events. “Oh, i took a nap last class, it must have smeared my makeup i guess” you shrug it off, thinking that if you didn’t care about it then neither would he.

   Theo nods slowly before looking at your clothes “your tie is messed up and you button your shirt wrong as well” he points out. You look down quickly and began to fix it “I was in a rush this morning, silly me right?” “i think you need more sleep” Theo chuckles and turns to the table, grabbing a serving spoon.

   you nod mindlessly and grab the pitcher of water to pour some in your glass. “There you are Malfoy! Had fun with a girl i see” you heard Blaise Zabini speak. You turned to look at the pale boy and spot the lipstick on his neck and his messy hair. Oh shit.

   Draco sits down next to his mate and rolls his eyes “The bloody hell are you talking about Zabini?” he scoffs, reaching up to fix his platinum blond mess. “The lipstick on your neck” he says. You hear Theos fork drop and your whole world crash around you. ‘No, Theo please be stupid’ you feel a tap on your shoulder.

   you face the brown haired Slytherin who points to Draco then you “So, how long?” he asked in a hushed tone. You sigh, knowing full well that you had been caught “6 months” “6 months!?-” you put a hand over his mouth a glare. “Yes, so Theo shut up. We are not going public until we graduate”

   Theo nods slowly “Because of his shit family, right?” you nod slowly and he seems to understand “Well i think you two are a cute couple” he says, sending you a wink. You laugh softly and nudge his shoulder “Promise you won’t tell?” you say, making sure he’d keep quiet.

   the Slytherin nods “Promise” he says and holds out his pinkie for you to take. You smile at his childish behaviour and wrapped your finger around his.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody- this is so short and complete crap, but i’m tired guys. Anyways, peace.

[atsushigre]

stay over

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: after a long day of hero work keigo finds himself on your roof. again. 

wc: 2183

a/n: hello again everyone it is i, hazel, back at it again with More Hawks Content. i’ve had this one done for a while and genuinely forgot about it lmao but istg next time i will write about a different character. anyway enjoy!!

everything feels….weird, without his wings. logically he knows that the feathers will grow back, but two days is a long time to be grounded for someone like keigo, so used to taking to the skies. he feels almost naked without the wings at his back, once beautiful and grand and now reduced to nothing but lesser covert feathers for the foreseeable future. his hands sank deeper into his pockets as he hunched further, trying to compensate for the lack of weight at his back as he made his way through the empty streets. the day was long, even for a hero like him, and between the fight with the nomus that left him grounded to the tense words he’d shared with dabi moments ago, he was just about ready to speed home and call it quits. though he couldn’t help the feeling of wrongness that was eating at him even still, annoyance rising in him as he tried to place exactly what it was making him feel this off. a gloved hand rose up to rest on his face, finger tapping on his chin in concentration as he sank deeper into thought. all in all, despite the overall frankly terrible atmosphere of the day, objectively speaking, things could have gone worse. way worse. he’d even managed to save all those people, scraping through the afternoon with a grand total of zero casualties, and even the mild to severe annoyance he’s feeling over a spontaneous transformation to flightless bird will dissipate in a day or two, so what could it be that’s got him all twisted up thinking about it?

oh. right. you.

 his feet came to a stop almost on their own, and as he craned his head upwards he couldn’t help the small twitch of his lips into a smile as he came face to face with not his own high rise, but your apartment complex. a tad bit run down, smack dab in the middle of his patrol zone, and oh so familiar. see, pretty much every night for the past four (five? he’d almost lost track) months he’d found himself perched on the roof of this very building, takeout from the restaurant across the street in hand (what could he say? he was a busy guy and their fried chicken was to DIE for) taking a quick break to scarf down some dinner before he took to the skies again. it was convenient, centrally located, and, well, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t also come with good company. it had seemed he wasn’t the only one fond of spending his nights up on that rooftop, as nearly every time he’d found his way up there in recent history he’d been met by you, busying yourself with one thing or another, and over the time you’d shared together he’d actually become quite fond of you and the snippets of (near) normalcy you provided. after all, with such a chaotic schedule like his, breaks were few and far between, and it was nice to be able to sit and just be for a while. 

boots touched down on the roof of the ratty apartment building, and the flapping of wings slowly died down, the rustling of feathers and clothing slowly stilling as the whipping wind dissipated. his whistling cut clean through the still night, and he couldn’t help but let the chuckle escape him as he heard a startled noise come from the center of the shoddy rooftop garden. the scratching of a chair on cement echoed as you padded out into his field of view.

in slight disarray (as always) you made your way over to him, a contented grin on your face and cradling your laptop to your chest. he raised his hand into a two fingered salute, hopping off the ledge of the rooftop to meet you in your advance. 

“you’re a bit late today,” you giggled as you gratefully accepted the drink he’d held out to you, setting your laptop down so you could take a seat next to him. your gaze followed him as he shuffled his meal around in his lap, and you watched as he chuckled and shook his head, directing his gaze up towards you.

“sorry bout that, kid. all the villains in town ganged up and decided i’d be eating a late dinner today.” he gave himself a moment to stretch his tired wings, subconsciously curling them around the two of you as you sat, you with your legs dangling over the side of the building and he with his legs crossed, dinner in his lap. he’d rarely admit it, but the downside of all his speed was that quiet moments like these, and time to just take care of himself, came few and far between, which only led him to cherish the minutes you’d spent together even more.

he hadn’t meant to make an unlikely friend when he’d first landed on your building those months ago; honestly, he’d just wanted five minutes to eat his chicken in peace. but he was so so tired and even though when he’d landed he’d found you star gazing, he’d decided it wasn’t damned worth it to find a new building to park himself and scarf down his dinner. this’d have to do. but you were cute and entertaining and non intrusive and he couldn’t help but leave with a bit of a light feeling in his chest, and subconsciously or not when he found his boots landing on your roof the next day, and the day after that, he never pulled himself away. he could let himself have this, fifteen minutes a day of peace. 

“you alright?” you questioned, and he blinked out of his thoughts to meet your gaze, brows slightly furrowed and face pulled into a concerned expression. he chuckled with a nod, hand rubbing over his neck as he pushed his visor up and off his golden eyes, looking out over the city before his gaze flitted back to you. 

“course. just thinkin, is all.” he gestures between the two of you, a small smile growing wider on his face. “just happy to have this.” he buried his face in the collar of his coat, light blush rising on his tanned cheeks as your delighted laugh rang clear in the night air. you bumped your shoulder against his, head tipping back to take in the night sky as your own smile cut wide and bright across your face.

“i’m happy to have this too.”

of course this was what was eating at him. he’d been so busy today, wrapped up in the hectic nature of his lifestyle that he hadn’t had a minute to his pause, and how could he take a break if it wasn’t here, right? he’d conditioned himself to associate the ratty brick building before his eyes with comfort and peace, and while he didn’t quite have time to unpack all of that he also didn’t have the patience to leave without getting what he came for, despite every bone in his body begging for a well-deserved nap. he pushed up on his feet, instinctually trying to propel himself into flight before he came crashing back down to reality. ah, right. flightless bird, for at least two days. how could he forget? 

his glance strayed to the door, and then to the call box on the door, and in an instant, it dawned on him that he didn’t actually know what unit you resided in. he cracked his knuckles once, twice, pondering how to combat this predicament before his gaze landed on salvation, otherwise known as the fire escape.

with a running start he launched himself up to grab the ladder of the fire escape, burning muscles screaming in protest as he hauled himself up and onto the first level, metal clanking and disturbing the quiet evening atmosphere. with a huff he straightened himself out, straightening his ruffled clothing and beginning to climb the stairs before he heard a gasp, and moments later your worried face was peeking over the side of the building. 

“hawks?” you cried, panic laced in your tone, and keigo perked up at your call, tired smile beginning to stretch over his face before it fell as he took in your panicked appearance. 

“sorry i’m late, busy day today,” he sighed, and you scoffed, ripping a hand through your already disheveled hair, taking in his own appearance (and most notably, lack of wings.) a shaky sigh left your lips, and you quirked your head to the side as you leaned farther forward the edge.

“hawks, why are you on my fire escape?”

“couldn’t exactly fly up today, now could i?” he gestured to his empty back, and as he reached the final level of the fire escape you weakly held out your hand to help pull him up onto the roof, he waved it away, using the last of the energy in his fatigued body to launch himself to a position where he could finish his climb, hauling himself over the ledge and onto the hard cement of the rooftop. he leaned up against the ledge, and you kneeled down in front of him, hand ghosting up to land over his before hesitantly pulling away. you looked a wreck, eyes faintly rimmed in red and hair disheveled, a side effect of the frustrated raking of it away from your face, and the corner of his lip twitched upward as he drank you in. though his muscles were screaming and every part of him was tired, hauling himself here tonight was more than worth it.

“i saw what happened today, on the news. good job,” you weakly smiled, eyes darting around before finally landing on his. “i didn’t think you’d swing by today, given everything.”

“and yet here i am.”

“and yet here you are,” you sighed, finally allowing yourself to rest a hand on his upper arm. “you should be resting, not here. today was rough.”

“i am resting. here, right now. with you. well, for as long as you’ll have me, and then i’ll trudge my way home. or maybe i’ll call a cab, haven’t taken one of tho-” he began to ramble, before you cut him off.

“stay over.” his eyes widened slightly, and he fought the urge to tear his eyes away and tuck his face into his coat to hide from the gentle resolve in your gaze. 

“pardon? sorry kid, don’t think i heard that quite right.”

“i said stay over. you’re tired, i was...worried, and you already went to the trouble of dragging yourself over here anyway. so stay over, and i’ll take care of you, and you can take off again tomorrow morning.” silence fell over the two of you as he mulled over your proposal, and if he noticed his heartbeat picking up at the prospect of staying the night he’d die before admitting it.

“well, when you put it like that, how could i refuse?” you sighed, shaking your head before outstretching your hand, hauling him up and digging through your pockets for your keys. your hand tightened around his and he went to pull away, and he tried to fight the grin splitting over his features as he laced his gloved fingers with yours. pulling him down a couple flights of steps, making sure the hallways were empty (you’d die before you had to explain what you were doing dragging number 2 pro hero hawks through the hallways of your complex this late at night) before pulling him into your tiny apartment. it was nothing to write home about (and honestly, secretly, you were a little embarrassed now that you had hawks standing inside your tiny, messy apartment. but he was tired, and so were you, so you could be embarrassed tomorrow.)

“i’ll get you set up,” you said, disappearing into the bedroom and giving him time to take in the (slightly) chaotic surroundings. despite the chaos, he couldn’t deny that it was wholly you, and he couldn’t help the glee bubbling up in his stomach as he took in the surroundings. you emerged a few moments later, blankets and pillow in hand, and that warm feeling spreading through his body only got warmer as he watched you set the couch up for him.

“if you need anything let me know,” you smiled, hand resting gently on his arm. he met your gaze with a grin, and as he settled into his makeshift bed for the evening he could feel your gaze on him from the doorway of your bedroom for a few moments, but when he cracked one eye open to look at you you had already disappeared, shutting the door gently behind you. 

he settled back onto the couch, tucking himself into the comfort the space around him provided. and, if a few hours later, his sleep-addled mind felt a hand card through his hair once or twice, his blanket get readjusted, and a soft kiss pressed to his forehead, well, he’d just have to chalk it up to a dream. 

[reginaphillange08]

HURTS ME TOO (Matukawa Issei)

a/n : so basically I had a crappy day and I decided to write to kinda cope and take my mind off things and I was listening to hurts me too by Faye Webster and this fic was born LMAO

warnings: mentions of depression, angst then fluff, comfort

summary: after having a rough day at work, you decided to lay down and rest a bit. Your whole afternoon and evening was spent laying down, leaving you in your dark room with your dark thoughts. Mattsun comes home to comfort his favorite person. Idk read it it’s cute

word count: 1024

sfw

Nights like this were not foreign to you. You wrapped up in your blanket, laying on your bed in your dark room. Not completely sure of the time or how long you’ve been laying there. You thought you had your eyes closed, but they were open the whole time. It was just too dark to know the difference. After work, you trudged along to your bed and decided to take a “power nap”. The darkness of your room matched your mood and thoughts. You couldn’t quite put a finger on why you felt so dejected lately. When around your friends and family, nobody would suspect a thing. Your beautiful face is wearing a beautiful smile. A mostly genuine one. That smile could brighten the dimmest rooms. When around others you were okay. Happy and constantly laughing. It’s when you’re alone that everything changes. Left alone with your thoughts you spiral and succumb to your dull and somber mood.

Your boyfriend Issei had come home from work to your shared apartment and saw the dimly lit atmosphere. The dishes piled up, clothes everywhere, and overall silence tipped him off about your current state. Before even reaching the room he knew you were having one of those nights. He took off his jacket and put his stuff down. He grabbed a glass of water and went to your room to see you.

The door opened and you were laying on your side facing the wall away from the door. You didn’t bother to turn around and greet him. His heart ached, he loved you so much, and seeing you like this never was easy on him. That's how he knew it must be so much worse for you. Issei placed the glass of water on the bedside table then got under the covers with you and enveloped you in his arms. He peered over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of you and saw the dull look on your face. He knew tonight was gonna be difficult for you and he was here to provide you with his support. Matsukawa has always been extremely caring and emotionally intelligent. He held you tightly and placed a gentle kiss on your temple. He whispered lightly in your ear “Hey baby, I missed you today”.

His gentle kiss and sweet words and loving touches were always something you held close to you. They filled you with warmth and all you could feel was pure adoration for your lover. You began to think about his patience and the way he cherished you. Your eyes welled with tears as you desperately tried to keep it together.

You wanna be okay. You wanna be better, for him and your family and friends. You wanna be alright but it’s so hard. You fall into these ruts that seem impossible to climb out of. You really are trying. Your tears began to fall from your eyes. You didn't bother to wipe them anymore, you just let them flow down your face. You tried to breathe in but ended up sniffling.

You hoped he didn’t hear you because you didn't wanna upset or worry him any further. But he squeezes you a little tighter and taps your shoulder asking you to turn around. You nodded your head no as the tears streamed down your face. He held his hand on your shoulder “come here my love, it’s okay baby”.

You reluctantly turned around and your tear-stained eyes met with his warm brown ones that you were so fond of. He stroked your face with the back of his hands and gave you a smile. He let you get your quiet sobs out while he whispered “it’s okay baby”. Your tears slowed down and he wiped the remaining ones away. He ran his fingers through your hair as you two faced each other in your bed. He asked “rough day today sweetheart?” The sincerity in his voice always made you feel at ease. You slowly nod your head and finally begin to speak, “yeah it was, I just wasn't feeling great tonight”.

He nods and gives you another tight hug. You took a deep breath, and then he kissed your forehead as he let go. He turned around to grab the water from the nightstand. He gives you the glass and says “have some water baby”. You take the glass and take a few small sips. He takes the glass from you and puts it back on the bedside table. He turns back to you and takes your hands in his and rubs them and plants small kisses on your knuckles.

You take a deep breath and begin to speak again, “thank you so much, I really appreciate everything you do for me. I love you issei”. He gives you a sweet kiss on your forehead and says “anytime baby, I love you more”. When he pulls away you just kinda stare at him. He was so beautiful. His soft curly hair, strong thick eyebrows, his kind eyes, his supple lips. He was your safe space, he was home.

While you look at him in awe of his beauty, he’s reciprocating this. You were unaware of this because you were in your own world, falling into him and getting lost in his eyes. You take your pointer finger and trace his lips, and his cheekbones, and then his eyebrows. With the most gentle touch, you tap his nose before giving him a sweet kiss. You did this quite often, you don't really know why but you both adored it. He held your face, hands cupping your cheeks, he pulled you in and gave you another kiss.

He wrapped his arms around you and the both of you got comfortable. He said “let’s get some rest baby, tomorrow will be better” and gave you a final kiss to your temple. You nodded and said “goodnight baby”. He whispered, “goodnight (y/n), I love you”. You smiled and said, “I love you too”. Sleep took over the both of you while you were enveloped in the arms of your lover.

Tomorrow was gonna be a much better day.

[troubatrain]

with you around - n. patrick

a/n: so this is a repost of an old fic from my old blog that survived the purge when I deleted - there’s actually two parts i just need to find the other one to post it lmao. i’m tagging @prettyboybarzal​ because nolpat is the dream stoner boyfriend and there’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise

You open your back door, sneaking out and walking to the back of the yard, climbing up the worn ladder to the tree house your parents built over a decade ago. You check your phone, knowing Nolan would have landed an hour ago which means he should be walking over to you now. You move the random throw pillows you’d collected over the years, trying to make the wooden house slightly more comfortable.

“You have got to stop making me climb up here,” You hear a deep voice huff, and you knew exactly who was on his way up.

“It’s tradition, Nolan,” You deadpan, it was how you both spent every first night of summer.

You watch as Nolan flicks on the old Christmas lights you’d hung up when you were sixteen. That was the first year you’d spent without the comfort of having your best friend next door. You were proud of Nolan, but it didn’t take away from how rough of a year it was without him. He finally plops down next to you, “So what’s been going home?”

“Same old, same old,” You say, pulling the joint from your hoodie pocket, twirling it in your hand.

Nolan laughs, “You’re going to get me in so much trouble one of these days.”

Regardless of his words, Nolan snatches the joint and lighter out of your hand, lighting the paper and taking a big puff, coughing as soon as he did.

“You’re losing your touch Nols,” You say, joking about when you were younger Nolan could smoke more than anyone - hockey being the only reason he’d stop. You take a huge puff of smoke, blowing it out easily.

“Why are we still friends? All you do is bully me,” Nolan says, nudging you with his shoulder lightly.

“You’re too grumpy for everyone else,” You say, “I just put up with it.”

Nolan laughs, and your heart swells at the sound. You’d missed him, and you were happy to have him with you. He looked like your Nolan when he was home, his eyes a little glassy from the joint, his cheeks rosy and full of joy, and his eyes that only ever seemed to be on you.

“How are you?” You ask, leaning your head on his shoulder. You knew he had a rough season with everything that was going on. You’d wished you could have been there but you got so wrapped in school you couldn’t find the time to make the trip out to Philly.

“Some days are good, some days are bad,” Nolan says solemnly, “I wish I got to play.”

“I wish you got to play too,” You say, moving your hand to run through his hair, “You’ll be back on the ice soon.”

You fell into a long conversation about what the other person had missed. Nolan told you about his year, living with Kevin and TK’s usual antics. You talked about how college was going, living out in Alberta to go to art school. You got so excited talking about your classes and what you’d been creating.

“Speaking of art school, take any thought to those post grad plans?” Nolan asks, looking down at you next to him.

You sigh, knowing what he’d been referring to. He mentioned it from time to time, moving to Philly with him after you finally graduated. He knew it was a good city to create art in and that you would have more opportunities out there. You weren’t sure if you wanted to up and leave everything you’ve ever known to move all the way to Philadelphia - even if it was with Nolan.

“I don’t know Nols,” You say.

He nods, it was the same answer you always gave him, “I just want you to have every opportunity you deserve.”

You smile, he’d always been your number one supporter. You sometimes think you could the worst painting in the world but Nolan wouldn’t hesitate to say he liked it. He didn’t totally understand art, and it definitely wasn’t his comfort zone but he always listened to you talk about it anyways. 

“I’ll give you an answer next summer,” you say, “Pinky promise.”

Nolan’s eyebrows raise at the seriousness of your voice, “A pinky promise?”

“Yeah Nols, let’s go, hold it out,” You say, holding your pinky out for his to link with yours.

“If it matters, I really want to have you out in Philly with me, you’ll love it,” Nolan says, throwing his arm around you to pull you closer.

Your face finds its usual spot, tucked right under Nolan’s chin, he still felt the same. He talked more about Philly, and all of the things about it he knew you’d love. You doze off, the sounds of Nolan’s deep voice putting you to sleep easily.

--

You scan the house party for the millionth time, waiting to see when Nolan was getting there. He had a late afternoon skate, and you knew for a fact that he was going to pass out afterwards - but at this point you thought he was never going to make it out.

“Are you looking for your other half?” You hear your friend, Kacey, say.

“He’s not my other half,” You say to the tattooed brunette next to you, her eyebrow raised at you, and you took a big gulp of your drink to try and avoid the topic all together.

“He wants you to move to Philly with him after you graduate,” Kacey says, “You’re practically married, and he’s here.”

Your whips around to the front door, Nolan walking in, his skateboard in hand and a case of beer in the other. 

You hear Kacey scoff at how quickly you turned your head, “I hate both of you really.”

Kacey walked away as soon as Nolan spotted you, walking over to you and wrapped you in a tight hug.

“Nice of you to show up,” You say, pulling back from his arms, “Take a good nap?”

“How did you know I was asleep?” Nolan says, grabbing a beer for himself.

You turn your head, giving him a knowing look, “We both know you’ve been passed out for the last like four hours.”

Nolan laughs, “You’re 100% right.”

Nolan sticks by your side for the rest of the night. He’s never been one for parties, even if all of his friends were there. You didn’t mind, having Nolan around allowed you to drink however much you wanted. You knew he’d keep you safe, and there wasn’t anything bad about having all of his attention. He’d been your partner for beer pong, ignoring the look Kacey was giving you from across the table. You had lost him eventually, after you insisted he danced along to the Blink 182 song that was playing on the speaker. 

“Nols!” You say, finally finding him across the party, leaning against the wall on his phone, you step in his arms, the alcohol blurring the boundaries you usually set for yourself. 

Nolan slipped his phone back into his pocket, one his hands moving to weave through your hair, “Ready to go?”

You nod, definitely ready to pass out. Nolan smiles, grabbing his skateboard he’d left right at the door, and your hand, walking right out the front door. 

Your mouth curves up to a smile, “Nols…” you whine, trying your best to pout at the boy in front of you.

Nolan sighs, turning around so you could hop onto his back. You jump up, legs wrapping around his waist. Nolan drops his skateboard, stepping onto it and heading in the direction of your house. It wasn’t the first time you made Nolan carry you home, it was so easy when he just could. 

“Are you ever going to get sick of this?” You mutter into his shoulder.

“Of what? Carrying you home?” Nolan asks, and you nod, “Nope.”

“You’re lying,” You tease, knowing there was no way Nolan hasn’t gotten sick of you yet. You’d been bothering him since the day he moved next door and you knew you wanted the rosy cheeked boy to be your best friend. Your eyes started to get heavy when Nolan finally hit your street, stopping in front of your house.

“Be sure to give me a five star rating,” Nolan says, bending down gently so he could get you down.

“Ride was a little bumpy, you can have four,” You say, opening the gate to the front of your house, “Get home safe Nols.”

Nolan rolled his eyes, waiting for you to walk into your house. He closed the gate behind you, walking over to his house to head to bed, checking his window one more time to make sure you were in bed before he fell asleep.

--

You walked around the small art supply store, the same place you’d been working in since you were sixteen. It was the best, you got a great employee discount and the older couple who owned it let you work when you were home from college. The bell above the door chimes, Nolan stepping into the store, two iced coffees in his hands.

“Is that Nolan?” Barbara, the owner of the store, called out as soon as he walked in, “Here to get Y/N into trouble?”

Nolan laughs, handing you your coffee and looking over to the older woman standing behind the counter, “If anything, I’m here to keep her out of trouble.”

You roll your eyes, “Hardly, Barb he can’t even tie his shoes.”

“I can! I just choose not too,” Nolan bickers back.

Barbara laughs at your antics, “You two are so funny, I’m going to run out, I think you guys can handle it?”

Nolan salutes the older woman while you snicker behind him, “I think she trusts us too much.”

“Us? It’s you she trusts too much,” Nolan says.

Nolan spends the rest of your shift at the store bothering you. He helped you stock the shelves, reading off the weird names of the paint bottles he was putting up. And when you asked Nolan why he was spending a beautiful summer day inside working with you, he just shrugs and tells you there's nothing he’d rather do.

--

Summer nights had always been spent the same. They were either at some party, the treehouse, or Nolan and yourself would just hang out in your room. He’d let you paint, setting up his own video games in your bedroom so he could keep you company. You both enjoyed your peace and quiet - but you enjoyed it even more with each other. 

Tonight was one of those nights, you were standing in the corner of your room, a blank canvas in front of you. You’d been looking for inspiration for almost a week, just having no idea what to even work on. You tie your hair up into a bun, and you step back, hands fiddling with the end’s of the oversized t-shirt you had over your shorts.

“What’s up with you?” Nolan asks, his focus not breaking the game he was playing.

“I don’t know what to paint,” You huff, hands on your hips.

Your mind ponders for a minute, and you pull out the box of polaroids next to your bed. You dump them on your bed, hoping you took a picture that could spark something. Nolan pauses his game, moving to look at the picture you poured out. There were ones of him, and ones you took when you came to see him in Philly. There were images of your friends, your roommates at college, and your family. You took your camera with you everywhere, you just liked having the memories. Nolan pulls a photo up, of someone’s back painted with a scene of the beach.

“Oh that’s Kacey,” You say, it was something you’d seen on Instagram that you wanted to try.

“You could do that to me?” Nolan says, voice deeper than usual.

You think about it for a moment, Nolan was big, and quite frankly his back wasn’t a bad canvas, “Okay turn around.”

You move to grab some paint and some brushes, watching as Nolan grabs the back of his t-shirt, tossing it in the corner of your room. You shake any of the dirty thoughts that ran through your head as you sit next to him. Nolan turns to you, grabbing your leg and swinging it over his waist so you were straddling him, grabbing his controller and going back to his game. You take a deep breath, and get to work. You think about what you’re going to paint, but you just let your mind rest - painting whatever came to your mind at the moment.

“Tell me if the paint is too cold for you,” you say, moving to create some sort of base on his back.

“I think I can handle it, Y/N” Nolan deadpans. 

You start to think about Nolan and the thing he loves most, painting a forest in the back that looked like the one at lake you’d both spent your summers at. You painted evergreen trees and a glimpse of the lake in the corner. Quite frankly, by the time you were done you were proud of yourself.

“Take a picture, I want to see,” Nolan says.

You grab your phone, snapping a photo and tossing it to Nolan, “This is sick, you should really draw me something to get tattooed.”

“You don’t trust me that much,” You say, glancing at the photo on your screen, “Can I post this on my Instagram story?”

You ask, you always did. Nolan was a private person, and you knew he liked it that way. It was better than having to deal with him when he was grumpy.

“Go for it,” Nolan smiles, “I should probably head out.”

“Don’t sleep with that on your back,” You scold, watching Nolan as he goes to climb out the window of your bedroom, “Use the door, we’re adults Nolan.”

“I’ll be fine,” Nolan assures you, climbing down just like he used to when you’d hang out all night instead of sleeping.

You clean up your brushes and paint, trying to shove the feelings about the way Nolan’s back muscles moved under your touch to the back of your mind, to be locked up forever. You slide into bed, checking your phone to see only one notification, a DM from TK.

Tell me that’s Nolan

--

With summer came a various string of weekends up at the lake with your friends. The older you’d gotten, the more fun the weekends had become. You were all almost adults, just riding out one of the last summers together, and you all decided to rent out the house you usually did, cause it might be one of the last times you do. You sat in the passenger seat of Nolan’s jeep, just like you always did. Your coffee in one hand, and Nolan’s phone in the other, mindlessly changing the songs for the ride. You glance over at Nolan, the roof was off his jeep, and his hair had hit the morning light just right. He looked good, he always did.

“Did you really have to tell TK that was me in your story? He hasn’t stopped making fun of me for days,” Nolan says, looking at you.

“You guys spend so much time together, I think he just knew,” You say, knowing they’re basically a married couple at this point.

Nolan shakes his head, turning up the street to the lake house. You spot all the cars that were already there, knowing you and Nolan had to have been the last people to arrive. You run inside, leaving Nolan to grab your bag out the trunk, running right into Kacey’s arms.

“Don’t be mad at me,” Kacey says, pulling back, “I miscounted and there’s one room left so you and Nolan are going to have to bunk up.”

Nolan walks in during Kacey’s sentence, “That’s fine, which one is it.”

Kacey points to the room upstairs, Nolan nodding, your bags already in his hands to bring upstairs. You turned to Kacey when he was out of earshot, “You did this on purpose.”

“If rooming together is all it would take to get you guys together, it’s not the rooming together it’s the fact that you guys are obsessed with each other,” Kacey says.

“Best friends, we are best friends,” You defended, you knew better though. Something was shifting between the two of you, but you didn’t know if it was from getting older or if it was something more.

Kacey shakes her head at you while you head up to your room, Nolan unpacking his stuff.

“You’re okay sharing a room?” you ask, knowing you could bunk with Kacey if you really had to.

“I’m fine with it, I’m going to go fishing with the boys for a bit, I’ll see you after?” Nolan says, stopping at the bedroom.

“No I’m actually going to go home,” you say sarcastically, unpacking your own bags.

You spend the rest of the afternoon next to the lake, getting a tan and day drinking with Kacey and the rest of your girlfriends. You guys head inside, setting up for the party you were throwing for the rest of your friends who’d been up at the lake too. You get dressed for the silly tourist theme you’d planned, tucking the terrible Hawaiian shirt you’d bought into the jean shorts you were wearing. Nolan pops out behind you and you take in his outfit, the shorts that hit above his knee, showing off his thigh tattoo, the Hawaiian shirt that matches yours, and his god awful mid calf socks. He had his vans on - and of course they were untied.

“You have the worst taste in fashion,” You laugh, Nolan striking a pose in response.

“Sorry we’re all not you, I can’t make this shirt look good,” Nolan says, poking at your sides gently, causing you to blush.

He walked out of the room and you took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. It was now or never with your feelings, you either had to tell him or you had to just get over him but you couldn’t keep pushing them down, it was going to drive you crazy. You move down to the party, seeing it’s in full swing already. You grab a drink, moving to go play drinking games with Kacey. After a few hours, you were a little buzzed but mostly sweating from the heat inside. You step out, walking over to the docks and staring out at the lake in front of you. You hear heavy footsteps behind you, and you knew it had to be Nolan.

“Needed a minute?” Nolan asks, knowing you would disappear from parties from time to time, and you nod because he was always right.

“Nols, can I ask you something?” You ask, your voice small, a tiny amount of courage guiding you to ask him a question that’d you wanted to ask since he got home, “Do things feel different between us?”

“Do you want them too?” Nolan asks, looking over at you with rosy cheeks, and a nervous look in his eyes.

“So badly,” You whisper, looking into his eyes that had gone soft at your words. Nolan leans in and you stop him for a moment, “Nolan this has to mean something to you too.”

“Everything, it means everything,” Nolan says finally, planting a kiss on your lips, your bodies molding together out on the dock underneath a twinkly night sky. It felt so right for your lips to be on his, your hands running through your hair, and hearing him finally say that he felt the same you have.

“So Philly?” Nolan asks, finally pulling away, the question he asked you when he first got home still burning.

“We’ll talk later,” You promise, stealing another kiss from his lips.

[lantur]

It's weird because I normally feel cheerful on the weekends, and when I last posted on Thursday I was like "things are going well after a rough start to the week" but I did not have a good day yesterday. Just a lot of vague, unspecified, but really uncomfortable anxiety. I thought it was about returning to writing after a week off, but that ended up going smoothly and I finished and posted a chapter. I took a nap and then felt anxious again in the evening. When I get anxious like that, it's like there's a bad taste in my brain and it needs to be scrubbed clean, but I don't know what bought on that bad feeling and sometimes I don't know how to scrub it clean.

I went for a walk with Derek last night and we talked about things, and I think that a lot of it comes down to... like, I live and die by my to-do lists every day. I've been doing them for a month to cope with my ADHD and stay on top of my work, and it's been very helpful. I feel like so much of what I do is meaningless and pointless.

I derive a lot of meaning and happiness from taking care of Derek and Westin, but my jobs are literally me doing the most pointless and stupid shit day in and day out. A good chunk of job duties at both jobs can be boiled down to "use Google to find information for people who are either too busy to do a Google search on their own behalf, or do not know how to use a search engine to find information. Then relay that information to these people."

I send information to people and 99.99% of the time, I never hear back about whether the information or resources were helpful to them, regardless of phone and/or email follow-ups to see if they were helped. I drop information about X disease off at clinics and community serving underserved communities and I have no idea whether anyone picks up the information and finds it helpful.

Most of the time, I am okay with the fact that I do not find meaning from my work and I do it only for a paycheck. I just resent that I spend so much time and energy and effort on something I find so deeply and profoundly pointless. The last time I found meaning in something besides caring for Derek and Westin, and writing, was when I was exploring Iceland. I'm happiest when I'm with my husband and my cat, writing, or traveling. But my job is what affords me with the money to pursue my passion (travel), so I have to stick with it. :/ I just hate it lmao.

I need to find a way to be more efficient with my time so that I am spending less time on obligatory work tasks while also getting those tasks done.

I'm also dreading the upcoming work week because the 3rd and 4th weeks of the month are always really heavily loaded with extra work just due to the nature of my different departmental work flows. I just finished week 3 which was really tough, and we're entering the 4th week of the month, which is even worse. Monday-Wednesday are going to be really hard, so I will try to take Friday off.

I don't know why I write these long posts but I think they help me process my thoughts. I hope everyone else is having an enjoyable weekend. :)

[catstailtavern]

On a picnic with the genshin boys

Fluff? did someone say fluff??

characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, and Childe

content warnings: I'm not a good writer lmao so it's probably OOC- that's the biggest warning- Alcohol mention (bc Kaeya), slight injury mention (bc childe), and like slight spoilers from the beginning of the story involving the darknight hero. Other than that it's just platonic fluff!

authors note: this for some reason took me 3 and 1/2 whole hours to write for some reason???? why??????

Dulic:

When: Diluc is a busy bee so whenever y'all go on picnics it's usually on his lunch break or after work.

Where: therefore you two would probably set up somewhere scenic near Mondstadt! I think probably near Windrise!

what was packed: for the blanket he'd probably pick something simple or something classic like gingham. food wise it depends on how he's feeling, if he's feeling drained he might just take some food from Angel's share or order his favorite picnic-safe food from Good Hunter! if he's feeling more motivated he might make some sandwiches or something else that's light. He doesn't like feeling sluggish from eating a lot!

what you talk about/do: Common topics of discussion between you two are simple things like how each other's day went or plans for the weekend. it's nice just to relax and talk about stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I feel like Diluc would find these peaceful little moments to be a lovely respite to his usual life. Nose constantly to the grindstone with running a business and being a vigilante. Maybe if Diluc has had a particularly rough day you two might cloud gaze and come up with stupid stories for the shapes you see in the sky.

Kaeya:

When: As Calvary Captain, you'd think Kaeya would have no time for things like this, but he always makes time for leisure! He loves making time for the people he cares about so really any time would be okay. As a lover of aesthetics if it were up to him he'd probably pick any time when the sky looks prettiest so most likely sunset!

Where: I feel like Kaeya would love the idea of a picnic by the water, more specifically the beach. Oceans are a thing of beauty: vast, deep, and full of life. A muse of many great poems and stories, aka the perfect place for a fancy dude like Kaeya lol, everything he does demands to be done in style.

What was packed: an absolutely flamboyant blanket probably brandishing some type of pop culture reference or meme. As for food, quite frankly, it's definitely more wine than food, but that doesn't mean he skimped out on the snacks. I feel like Kaeya would invite a lot of friends (at the very least venti is also there, Rosaria and Lisa if they can make it. Jean's always invited too, but she's usually busy), so that means a lot of food. 3 whole baskets to be exact- filled to the brim with wine and things to pair with each flavor.

what you talk about/do: The evening is full of tipsy laughter, stupid stories, and various other shenanigans. Lots of shell hunting, splish-splashing, and lazily laying where the ocean kisses the beach. Letting the waves graze your legs as you all watch the sun melt into the sea. After all, is said and done and it's time to pack up you feel a little empty as you say goodbye, but to end this wonderful day means that there are more good times to be had the next!

Zhongli:

When: Zhongli seems like an early riser to me, maybe that's just bc he's an old man fjkdhsafkjsahf. Anyway, I feel like he finds the rays of early morning light peeking from behind the clouds to be warm and inviting.

Where: If anywhere he'd pick to set up underneath a large tree by the flowery fields in Qingce Village. It's a lovely and quiet place with just enough shade to block the sun from your eye, but enough light to still read a book.

What was packed: A large embroidered silky sheet bc Zhongli gives off an air of elegance even in casual situations- for the actual eating part of this event; the foods Zhongli brings are more for a tea party than a picnic. A thermos of a strong yet refined tasting tea and plenty of finger foods to enjoy. Maybe some almond tofu or small slices of various cakes for dessert!

What you talk about/do: Zhongli will spend this precious time recanting long-winded stories of his various exploits and the time he spent over his many years in Liyue. If you're not in the mood for his bullshit, I mean, long tales then he doesn't mind just reading next to you or relaxing. You could even nap, he doesn't care, he finds it nice to be in the presence of friends. It makes his world feel a little less lonely.

Childe/Tartaglia:

When: After a long day of fatui business Childe would love to unwind with friends in the evening/at night! I see him as a night owl, but to respect your sleeping schedule he won't drag you out anywhere at the witching hour or something. He'd opt for a middle ground between you two, probably around like 9-10 pm!

Where: I think he'd pick somewhere on the docs with less foot traffic, surrounded by the lights of Liyue! Two reasons for this: 1.) As an extrovert he feeds off being surrounded by others. Eavesdropping on passers-by, just the excitement of the bustling port makes him smile. 2.) The way the water looks when the moonlight bounces off it as the jet black silhouettes of ships glide over the stillness on its surface is very nice scenery!

What was packed: Childe probably didn't pack a blanket or really even a basket, just an extremely large lunch box! Here's what's on the menu tonight: snacks, snacks, that seafood abomination he makes, and more snacks. There are no healthy options to be found. Childe is a gremlin that is only sustained by junk food.

What you talk about/do: Childe will talk non-stop about where today's various cuts, scars, and bruises came from. He loves to show off his fighting prowess. Very "if you think this is bad you should see the other guy," kind of attitude. If you express concern for his safety he will find it touching, but ultimately handwave away your worries telling you there's nothing he can't handle. He likes to people watch and come up with wild, melodramatic, telenovela-style stories for random people you see shuffling among the crowds. Egging you on to voice over their thoughts and feelings with him. I can imagine him having a large appetite so if you two are still hungry all things said and done, he'll take a walk with you past the shops looking for more things to munch on.

[thepremedthatwrites]

hi so i've written this one shot where y/n was dating edmund and he takes her home for a study session and throughout the whole thing she and peter kept flirting, anyways she ended up staying the night in peter's room to be precise (i made it fluff). could you maybe write an alternate smut ending because peter is a naughty boi, i wrote this as if peter was 21 and she was 18 along side edmund, is this idea well written because i can't describe stuff sjdjskd

Our Dirty Little Secret

I have never felt so dirty after writing something lmao but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy writing it.  I hope you like it! (also Edmund deserves the world so if you want to read some A+ Edmund imagines/smut I recommend checking out edmundpevensieisbaby on tumblr)

warning: smut below the cut

My fingers were interlocked with his as we walked down the street.  The unforgiving sun was beating down on us as we neared his house.  “This calculus exam is going to kill me,” I groaned.

“That’s why I’m here,” Edmund chuckled, squeezing my hand.  “I’ll teach you all that I know.”

“So we’re actually going to do work this time?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow and causing Edmund to laugh.

“I’ll try my hardest but that skirt you're wearing might make it hard for me to concentrate.”  I felt my face warm at his words.  The skirt I was wearing reached just the middle of my thigh, a bit shorter than I was used to but it was so hot out that I couldn’t help but wear as little clothing as possible.

“It is only Lucy at the house, right?  I don’t want to make a poor first impression with your other siblings.”  Ed and I had only been dating for a few months.  I didn’t want his family to already disapprove of me.

“Actually, Peter just got home from university.  He’s staying for the weekend.”

“You’re joking,” I groaned as we walked up to the front door.  The extra car in the driveway supported Edmund’s claim.  

“I’m home!” Edmund announced as we entered the house.  Lucy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating an apple while scrolling through her phone.  She glanced up, giving a smile and a wave before returning to her phone.  I heard the sound of footsteps approaching us from the hall to our right.  A tall man who seemed to be in his early twenties appeared.  I was taken aback by his attractiveness, his blond hair slightly messy as if he had just woken from a nap, his blue eyes still slightly clouded with sleep.  He ran his fingers through his hair as his eyes landed on me.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing home a guest,” the man said.

“Well I didn’t know I had to tell you,” Ed replied, releasing my hand to wrap his arm around my waist.  “Pete, this is my girlfriend (y/n).  (Y/n), this is my older brother Peter.”

“Nice to meet you,” I smiled, extending my hand for him to shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” Peter said, shaking my hand as his eyes traced my figure, lingering on my skirt for a moment before flickering back to my (e/c) eyes.  “Ed didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend.”

“We really only just started dating,” I said quickly, feeling my heart race as Peter’s eyes focused on me.  

“If you excuse us, (y/n) and I will be in my room studying,” Ed said as he started to guide me towards his bedroom.

“Are you guys actually going to be studying this time?” Lucy asked from the kitchen table causing me to start blushing.  While I had thought we had been quiet, Lucy’s comment suggested otherwise.  

“Haha very funny,” Edmund said, sticking his tongue out at his little sister.  

“Wow, very mature Ed,” she replied with, rolling her eyes and causing me to chuckle.

“Come on, stop your bickering.  I need you to help me pass this calc exam,” I said, pulling him towards his bedroom door.  I could feel Peter’s eyes watching me as I walked into Ed’s room.  I turned back towards Peter, my eyes catching his causing him to turn away as I closed the door.  My heart was still racing as the door replaced my vision of Peter.  No, this was wrong.  I was with Ed, not Peter.  But there was something about Peter that seemed to draw me towards him.

“You okay (y/n)?” Edmund asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, of course,” I lied, making my way to my boyfriend.  “Now, please for the love of God explain what an integral is,” I said as I pulled out my notebook from my backpack.

Ed and I had been studying for about an hour.  “Does that make sense?” Ed asked as he finished his explanation.

“I think so,” I said, slowly nodding my head.

“Good.  I think we should take a break,” he said while bringing his hand towards my thigh.

“What exactly were you thinking we should do during this break?” I questioned, my voice low as I started to lean in towards him.

“I have a few ideas,” he growled, his hand roughly squeezing my thigh causing me to gasp.  “And a few of them include taking off that pretty little skirt of yours.”  He closed the gap between us that I had already been slowly closing.  The kiss was rough, taking the breath out of me as his hands wandered my body.  Somewhere during the kiss, I moved so that I was straddling him.  I held his face in my hands as I parted my lips, allowing him entrance.  His hands squeezed my ass causing me to let out a small moan.  The sound of someone clearing their throat caused us to pull away quickly.  I looked up to see Peter in the frame of the now opened door.

“Dinner’s ready,” Peter stated through clenched teeth.  He seemed stiffer than before as he looked at the scene in front of him.  I slowly climbed off of Ed, my face now a light pink from a mixture of the make-out session and being caught.  I adjusted my skirt which caught the attention of Peter whose eyes flickered to it.  “Will you be joining us for dinner (y/n)?”

“Oh yes,” I replied quickly, hoping the new conversation would help ease the tension in the room.  Ed got up, walking to my side.

“She’s actually staying the night since I live much closer to school.  That way she can get to school early to study before her exam.”  Peter shifted his weight between his feet as he listened to his brother, occasionally glancing at me.  

“Alright,” he said before turning around and heading back to the kitchen.

“He isn’t mad, is he?” I asked quietly.

“No,” Ed shook his head.  “At least I don’t think so.  I’m not sure what his problem is.  Maybe he’s just stressed.”  He gave a shrug before grabbing my hand and leading me to the kitchen.

“Oh look!  The two lovebirds finally decided to grace us with their presence,” Lucy said as we walked into the kitchen.  Edmund’s parents chuckled at their daughter’s comment.

“You’re just on a streak today of making fun of me,” Edmund said, shaking his head.

“Isn’t that every day?” Peter questioned causing all of us to laugh.  Edmund sat down next to Lucy while I sat across from him next to Peter.

“How’s studying going?” Edmund’s father asked.

“It’s going good.  Edmund’s amazing at teaching math,” I said.  

“Well, it’s easy when the student is so amazing.”  I smiled at Edmund’s words.  His parents smiled as well while Lucy made fake gagging sounds.  This caused her parents to turn to her and ask her about her day.  I half-listened while shoveling food into my mouth, starving after a day of school which included no breaks for lunch.

“Hungry?” Peter questioned, chuckling at his own joke.

“Only a bit,” I replied with, cracking a smile.  “I haven’t eaten all day plus it doesn’t hurt that the food is absolutely delicious.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You cooked this?”  My eyes widened in surprise.  At first glance, you wouldn’t think of Peter as a cook.

“My specialty,” he said, a grin on his face.  

“(Y/n),” Edmund’s mother said causing me to turn to her.  “We set up the couch for you to sleep on but if it’s too uncomfortable, I’m sure Susan wouldn’t mind you borrowing her bedroom for the night.”

“The couch is fine,” I replied as everyone had started to clean up.  

“Great!  Edmund, would you clean up your girlfriend’s plate while I show her to the bathroom.”  Edmund nodded, grabbing my plate and walking towards the sink where Lucy was waiting.  I got up from my seat.  As I started to turn to follow Edmund’s mom, I couldn’t help but realize that my ass was level with Peter’s face who was still sitting next to my seat.  I straightened my skirt, trying to pull it down a bit lower to cover as much as possible so Peter didn’t see too much.  I could feel his eyes watch me as I walked away from my seat and towards the hall where the bathroom was.

I laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.  It was almost midnight now but I could barely sleep.  All I could think about was Peter.  “Snap out of it,” I mumbled to myself as I turned to my side.  I was with Edmund, not Peter.  But why did Peter make my heart flutter and my stomach do somersaults?  “This isn’t working,” I said, sitting upright.  I ran a hand through my (h/c) locks.  Maybe spending some time with Edmund would help me get my mind off of Peter. 

I slowly got off of the couch, tiptoeing my way towards Edmund’s door.  I paused as I heard what sounded like panting coming from another door.  “(Y/n),” I heard a voice gasp through the wooden door.  I inhaled sharply as I realized it was Peter’s voice.  I slowly opened the door to see Peter laying in bed, his hands wrapped around a very erect cock.  

“Peter?” I questioned, causing him to freeze.  He rushed to cover himself as he started to mumble something.  I felt my heart race as I closed the door behind me, the knot in my stomach becoming more intense with every step I took towards him.  “It’s okay,” I said softly as I crawled into his bed.  Peter let out something between a sigh and a growl as I felt his hands wander my body.

“Fuck (y/n),” he muttered as I allowed my hands to wander his body.  He was completely naked which allowed me to trace over his defined abs and warm skin without any barriers.  “You know, you look a lot more mature than eighteen.”

“Really,” I chuckled as my hands wrapped around his cock causing him to inhale deeply.  “You know, I was actually on my way to see your brother.  I couldn’t get my mind off of you, wondering what it would feel like to have your huge cock stretching out my tight little pussy.  I thought maybe Ed could take my mind off of it,”  I leaned in so that my mouth was right by his ear.  “But maybe acting out my fantasies would be the best way to get over them.”  I gently bit down on his earlobe causing him to let out a low moan.  I had started to slowly move my hand up and down his cock, watching with interest at how Peter reacted to my actions.

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back on his pillow as I quickened my pace.  He let out a low moan, bucking his hips.  After a few minutes, his hand grabbed my wrist, stopping my hand.  “If you want me to fuck you, you’ll have to stop jerking me off before I cum,” he said.  Although he didn’t say it in any particular way, his words turned me on even more as I rubbed my legs together, wanting any kind of friction.  Peter sensed this as he pinned me to the mattress, his face only inches from mine.

His lips crashed with mine, his tongue ripping open my mouth and exploring it while his hands worked on removing my clothes.  We separated for a moment to take off my shirt before our lips were back together.  I helped take off my shorts and underwear, our kiss being broken up into smaller kisses with gasps of air in between.  He pulled away leaving me both breathless and dizzy.  I watched as he lined himself with me before pushing in.  I let out a loud moan causing him to cover my mouth with his hand.  “We don’t want Edmund to walk in on us now do we,” he said, raising an eyebrow.  I shook my head no.  “That’s a good girl,” he said before slowly rolling his hips.  

My back arched in pleasure, my hands gripping the sheets as Peter quickened the pace.  The bedsprings groaned underneath us as Peter slammed into me over and over again.  He fell onto his forearms, panting into my ear as he quickened his pace even more.  I dug my heels into him, pushing him even deeper.  “You’re so fucking tight,” he said in a half moan.  His lips found my neck causing me to gasp.  Peter sucked and bit down along my neck causing my hands to rake down his bare back, the pleasure becoming too much.

“Peter,” I gasped as he bit down on my neck one last time, almost surely leaving a hickey.  If my mind hadn’t been clouded with lust, I would have chastised him for leaving a love mark on my body, something Edmund was sure to notice.  Instead, it caused me to let out a low moan as my orgasm rippled through me.  My eyes were forced closed as my head flew back my body pressed against Peter’s as I held onto him for dear life.  The pleasure became almost unbearable as Peter quickened the pace, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate as he chased his own orgasm.  

He let out a moan as I felt his warm seed spill into me.  “(Y/n),” he moaned as he thrusted into me sporadically as his orgasm started to slow down.  He slowly got off of me, falling to my side before turning to face me.  He pulled me in for a kiss that was much more gentle than the ones we had shared during our moment of passion.  I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as I was slowly lulled to sleep.  The one thing that I could think of as I was pulled into my dreams was that I had just fucked my boyfriend’s brother.

[fonulyn]

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay. 

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it. 

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.  

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away. 

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k |  It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.  

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon.  And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k |  "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.  

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway. 

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder. 

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly. 

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?  

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k |  Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs. 

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.  

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.  

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry. 

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.) 

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food)  | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w  | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion. 

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. --  Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all. 

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.  

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily. 

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

[catsnkooks]

You Deserve It (The Mandalorian x Reader) [SMUT]

hello!!!! this is my first fic for this fandom (and of course it had to be smut lmao)

based off of a drabble by @mandadoration and probably an ask sent to @zeldasayer (i love both of them please check them out!!!!)

so anyway:

summary: You are a mechanic for the famed Mandalorian, but in a typical hyperdrive jump, your relationship changes. (porn w/o plot...yeah)

warnings: smut, cockwarming, swearing (obvs), breeding kink if u squint

lmk if u want to be tagged in future things!! i have a few in planning rn and more on the way!!!!

here it is on ao3!!

---

The Mandalorian was sitting in the captain’s chair when you returned from putting the child to sleep in the hull. You sighed and plopped into the copilot’s seat. Mando hired you as a mechanic for his hunk of junk he called his ship, but inevitably you turned into a jack-of-all-trades with the kid and the bounty hunters after it. You two were now heading for one of Mando’s contacts who could offer a haven for a couple of days.

“Kid’s asleep,” you said, propping your legs over the armrests of the seat. “You need me for anything?” You let your head fall against the back of the chair. It had been a long day and all you wanted to do was fall into your cot down in the hull and sleep through the hyperdrive jump.

“Yeah,” Mando grunted from the control panel. “Take off your clothes.”

Your head snapped up and you raised an eyebrow, your mouth open in a silent gasp. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Mando said in the voice he only uses when he interrogates his bounties, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t send a shiver down your spine. “Take them off and come here.” He beckoned to you with one gloved hand, still not looking in your direction.

You closed your mouth but still kept the skeptical look on your face. It’s not like you wouldn’t want to take your clothes off for him; for many long nights you have studied his broad shoulders and chest, wondering what they looked like under the armor, but the beskar was growing on you as well. And, you assumed the helmet stayed on, which made it even more intriguing. You slipped out of the chair and stalked to the captain’s chair, placing a hand near the Mandalorian’s shoulder. “What’s this all about?”

He spun around in the chair and you gasped lightly. He had taken off his belt and you could see the large bulge that was growing in his trousers. You guessed he wasn’t messing around this time.

“Take them off,” he commanded, his voice a deep growl from behind the helmet. “Now.”

You inhaled sharply at his command but didn’t back down. Your hands went to the hem of your tunic and began pulling it up. “Yes sir.”

A contented growl resonated from behind the helmet and you could tell he was smirking from behind it. You slipped out of your boots and socks then worked your trousers off, tossing them into a corner of the cockpit. Mando settled into the seat, languidly pulling off his leather gloves. Once you took off your tunic and underwear, he beckoned to you with one finger and patted his lap with the other hand.

You sauntered over to his chair. Mando had already removed his pauldrons so you gripped the rough fabric of his tunic and settled into his lap, feeling the sinewy muscles of his shoulders under your fingertips. Your fingers glanced down his shoulders and over his beskar-clad chest, down to his groin where you released his cock from the band of his pants. You sucked in a breath as you stroked your hand up Mando’s length, eliciting a small groan from behind the helmet.

“Fuck, Mando,” you gasped, holding him with both hands. “I didn’t know you were hiding this behind the beskar.”

Mando chuckled. One of his hands caressed your inner thigh and the other danced up your side to your breast, the pad of his thumb skimming over your nipple. You made a small cry and arched your back as his thumb and forefinger worked your nipple into a hard pebble. You steadied yourself with one hand digging into his shoulder and the other grasping the fabric between the beskar of his arm. Mando’s other thumb caressed your slit and made lazy circles around your clit. You bit your lip trying to stifle a whimper and the Mandalorian hummed contentedly.

“How long have you been looking forward to this, sweet girl?” he asked, his hand moving further down to lightly graze two fingers at your aching, wet hole. “How long have you wanted my thick cock inside you?”

“Fuck, feels like forever,” you moaned, hands scrabbling and searching for the bit of skin between his tunic and his helmet. You rocked your hips against his hand, trying to get those two fingers inside of you. “If you don’t get in me soon I feel like I'm going to burst.”

The Mandalorian hummed and inserted his fingers finally. You moaned and scratched at the warm skin of his neck, pressing yourself closer to the throbbing cock that was resting against your stomach and feeling the heat pooling deep inside your core. Mando slowly thrust his fingers in and out of you, spreading them apart when they were inside you, stretching you for him. Looking down, you grasped his cock in one hand, spreading the slick precum over the head, eliciting a distorted moan from the Mandalorian.

“Are you ready for me sweet girl?” Even though his voice was distorted behind his helmet, you could still make out his tense tone, betraying that he was just as eager as you to have him inside you.

You nodded and guided the tip of his cock to your entrance as he withdrew his hand. “It feels like I’ve been ready for forever.”

The Mandalorian slowly pushed into you, still circling your clit and nipple with his hands. You moaned as his thickness filled you and you let out a whine when your hips met his, gripping the rough material of his tunic below his breastplate.

“Fuuuuck, M-Mando,” you moaned. “I can feel you here.” You placed a hand on your stomach where you could feel his pulsating member spearing through you, sending shockwaves of pleasure up and down your body. You slid your hand down to grasp the Mandalorian’s hand that was still circling your clit.

“Such a sweet girl for taking me all the way,” he cooed into your ear. “So eager to take all of my cock.”

You flushed at his praise and began to rock your hips against his. Mando gripped your hips with his large, calloused hands, holding them still. You whined, desperately needing to feel his cock glide in and out of you, which only caused Mando to tut at you, increasing his grip on your hips.

“Oh, no, sweet girl,” he said. “You said you’ve wanted to feel my cock inside you for forever, so you’re going to do exactly that.”

You groaned, half out of frustration and half out of the aching that was growing with every second Mando remained inside you. Your core clenched around his cock unconsciously. “Mandoooo,” you whined. “Please. I need you….” You trailed off with a whimper as the Mandalorian growled and gripped your hips even tighter, spreading his palms out to grasp your ass in his tight hold.

“No moving,” he said. “You wanted this, remember? So you’re going to take it like a good girl.”

You huffed and collapsed into his chest, gripping his shoulders. You almost sobbed into the crook of his neck out of frustration and from the lack of friction you wanted. You tried to rock your hips slowly, only for Mando to still them again and slap your ass, causing you to yelp and jump slightly.

“I said no moving,” Mando growled. “Stay still and be a good girl while I pilot the ship. You’ll get what you want later.”

“Fine,” you huffed again, wrapping your arms around his neck and collapsing into his chest, the beskar of his breastplate achingly cold against your breasts. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and tried not to think about the way his cock filled you so perfectly. The Mandalorian kept his hands at your hips, loosely gripping them, occasionally caressing and grasping your thighs and ass. Your breath came out in small puffs as you unconsciously clenched around him, until the ache became a dull lull in the back of your mind and you fell asleep.

---

The Mandalorian was sweating under his armor and clothing. It had been a couple of hours since you fell asleep against him, your core occasionally clenching around him, causing you to make soft whimpering sounds in your sleep that drove him crazy. He’d said earlier he had to pilot the ship, but he hadn’t done much of that. He could only revel in the feeling of your tight wetness, the soft grip of your fingers against his neck, and the small mewls teasing out of your lips.

The Mandalorian groaned and leaned his head back against the back of his chair. He had already removed his vambrances and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He needed to feel your skin against his, more than just your soft, pliant hips under his palms and your inner thighs resting against his hips. He decided you had slept enough and he began to palm your ass, fingers digging into your soft flesh, probably making bruises, one hand snaking its way up to cup your breast and tease your nipple.

You whimpered louder this time and shifted in place, a groan escaping from Mando’s lips as your movement created the friction he needed. He let out an amused huff. You drove him crazy.

---

You floated in a hazy dream state as you rested against Mando’s chest. Your breath came out in small puffs, still relishing being filled to the brim with his cock. Soft touches brushed along your thighs and up your sides to cup your breast, a thumb extending to tease your nipple. You whimpered, shifting in your sleep, eyes fluttering open. You heard Mando groan above you and you leaned up, your hands now resting on his shoulders.

“Did you have a good nap, sweet girl?” he asked, one hand still teasing your nipple while the other brushed closer to your clit.

You nodded, rubbing your eyes. You tried to rock your hips against his, only for his hands to go back to your hips, holding them in place. You whimpered again. “Mando, please—.”

“You’ll get what you want soon, sweet girl,” the Mandalorian said, shushing you. “First, help me get out of this.”

You realize he had taken off his vambrances and had already rolled up his sleeves, exposing the bronzed, scarred skin of his muscled forearms. With shaking hands, you unclipped his chestplate and slid it off of him. It hit the floor of the cockpit with a loud clang. Your hands were too busy scrabbling at the rough fabric of Mando’s shirt, eager to expose every inch of his skin. The Mandalorian pulled it up over his head, one hand resting on his helmet, and slung it over in the same corner your clothes rested in.

Your hands immediately went to the large expanse of his chest, fingers tracing the contours of his muscles, mouth placing hot, feverish kisses up to his neck, causing the Mandalorian to groan under his helmet. His hands gasped at your ass and hips, holding them as you rocked your hips, desperate for any friction.

“Ohhh, you’re so tight around me, sweet girl,” Mando groaned. One of his hands traveled back down to rub your clit in small, tense circles, while the other guided your hips as you rode on top of him. “Are you going to cum for me like a good girl?”

You gripped his sweat-slicked shoulders in a tight grasp as you rode him, your nails probably leaving marks. You thought you were going to burst at any moment, oversensitive from the hour you spent clenching around him. You threw your head back in the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, hitting that sweet spot as you drove him deeper inside you. A constant stream of moans and whines left your gaping mouth rivalled by the constant grunts and groans coming from behind the modulated voice of the Mandalorian.

“Yes, Mando, please!” you whined, so close to ecstasy. “I need—I need to—.” You cut off in a primal cry as he thrusted up at the same time you rocked down, hitting deep into your sensitive spot.

“Then cum for me, pretty girl,” he growled, both of his hands gripping you tighter, and you could feel the muscles of his shoulders tensing under your desperate grip. “You deserve it.”

You could feel your orgasm quickly coming after those words. With his hard, decisive thrusts and his large, calloused hands holding your hips in place, one thumb circling your clit in frenzied circles, you were soon coming undone on top of him. You arched your back, palms flat against the tense muscles of his chest, as your orgasm ripped through you, a scream tearing out of your throat, leaving it sore.

“Ohhh, good girl,” Mando moaned as he rode out your orgasm, your walls clenching and spasming around his cock, milking out his own release. He slammed his head against the back of the captains chair with a final groan and you felt the evidence of his release spurt inside you.

You collapsed against his chest, pressing flushed skin together, panting against his neck. You could barely make out the line of his stubble-covered jaw peeking out from under his helmet. Mando caressed your hips and up your back, pulling your sweaty hair away from your face. You sighed and snuggled against his shoulder, content at the feeling of him going soft inside you.

“I don’t want a drop spilling out of you, do you understand?” The voice was soft, but commanding, the words sending a flush up your spine. “Or we might have to extend it next time.”

You bit your lip to keep yourself from grinning against his shoulder, but you nodded slightly. “Yes, sir.”

It seemed like you needed to start testing the patience of your Mandalorian.

[deceitfullyanxioussss]

Must Have Been the Wind

Hey guys! I kinda already posted this on my ao3 a few months ago and just realized I forgot to post it here as well so like, here you go I guess lmao

Summary: Remus goes back to his apartment and wants a nap after a bad day at work. Instead, he finds he is kept up by some very troubling sounds coming from the room above his.Remus decides he wants to help this stranger.

Song fic! Must Have Been the Wind - Alec Benjamin

CW: Cursing, and uh, Remus being Remus ig? Oh, and minor homophobic character (Lemme know if I need to add more)

Proof-read by @queroze, thank you again, even though this was a while ago lol

Remus let out a huff of breath, feeling his tense muscles relax as he practically melded into the couch. The plan was for him to catch a nice nap after his exhausting day at work.

   He was a barista at a coffee shop, which usually wasn’t too bad. He liked his job. Often, he even found it relaxing.

   However, there can be days that are just the exact opposite of relaxing.

   It seemed as though every customer he came across that day woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Oh, and don’t even get him started on the Karens. The Karens were nearly impossible to deal with.

   A frown slipped on his face, recounting the worst part of his day. There was a very verbal homophobe who came in today.

   Remus was very openly gay and always wore a pride pin on his apron next to his name. He had the unfortunate luck of having to take, and make his order. He probably had to stand there for a full 5 minutes, just listening to his lecture about how wrong gay sex is. Remus was able to shut him up by reminding him of the line behind him.

   It didn’t end there though.

   A lesbian couple walked in not long later, hand in hand. It didn’t take long for it to catch the attention of this man, who immediately jumped at the chance to pull another 500 slide PowerPoint out of his ass.

   The rest of his co-workers decided that he had to be ushered out of the shop. Nothing about getting him to leave was easy though, not in the slightest. He went out yelling and cursing the whole way.

    The two girls were very lovely though, they had a nice conversation about the upcoming pride event, and he was more than happy to give them both free refills on him.

    So he guessed the day wasn’t all bad, but it still seemed to drag him out as if he was dough under a roller, crunching off of his bones into powder and flattening all his veins against his skin.

     Yes, a nap seems like a good idea.

     Remus’s eyes fluttered closed, fatigue quickly overtaking his body.

   Just then, a sharp, yet muffled noise cut through the serenity of silence.

   Some barely-conscious part of his mind gained interest in this sound.

   What was that? It kind of sounded like glass.  It had murmured through its TV static atmosphere.

   The rest of his mind, nearly completely asleep, wordlessly communicated that it was probably nothing, and he should just focus on sleeping.

   That seemed to calm his brain enough to settle down.

There was a little sliver of his mind that wasn’t quite ready to let go of the sound yet, though. It kept listening, even if undetected by the rest of the brain. It seemed right to do so, as muffled sounds of yelling and sobbing registered through its cloudy state.

   It was then Remus blearily pried his eyelids open and sat up.

   The fuck?  Remus groaned internally, forcing his body into an acceptable sitting position. Confusion stuck onto his brain like wrinkled cling wrap as he tried to make any sense of the hazy world around him.

   A loud thud was heard from the floor above, followed by an emotionally drained cry.

   Remus grunted and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.

   For maybe just a split second, his heart felt sympathy for the person, but he was just so tired. It’s not like it was his problem, right? He could just ignore it and go back to sleep.

   He flipped over on his side so his head faced the back of his sickly green couch and closed his eyes, trying his best to draw his attention away from the sounds upstairs.

   He must have laid there for a good while, trying and failing to push the sounds to the back of his head, his anxiety amping up little by little the longer the crying persisted.

   Eventually, Remus let out a loud, guttural sigh and stood up swiftly. He couldn’t just ignore them, he had to help.

   Making the decision, he walked towards his coat-rack and hastily tossed his jacket over his shoulders, bee-lining to the elevator.

   He silently curses the elevator for being so slow as he restlessly waited for the doors to push open, and when they do he wasted no time getting in and selecting floor 2.

   Remus usually enjoyed the tacky elevator music, but he found it only served to tick him off this time around. The music seemed to drag time out even slower and he was already so, so restless.

   Ding.

   With that, he stepped out and eagerly trodded down the hallways, stopping in front of the desired location. He raised a hand and knocked on the door with little hesitation, the anxious tapping of his foot echoed within the empty halls.

   Remus listened with rapt attention through the door, hearing as the person inside scrambled to make themself look even the slightest bit presentable.

   He waited impatiently, his gaze anxiously wandering around for some sort of distraction or stimulation. They landed on the grossly patterned navy blue carpet, look completed by the numerous stains that have accumulated over the years. Finding little interest there, he moved onto the walls. The dim, sparse lighting made the colour look like a shit brown. Impulsively, he reached to run his fingers along the many indents that found a home among the distasteful brown. The tactile stimulation instantly captured his focus, and he let the rough surface soothe him.

   Remus, too caught up in the stimulation, had forgotten his original purpose of being there. He startled back to reality upon hearing the soft click from the door. He immediately snapped his head back up, being met with a pair of mismatched eyes and a scarred face. This person was looking up at him with what he thought was supposed to be a confident expression. The effect was dampened by his pink-ish eyes, mussed hair, and the pastel yellow sweater he had hooked all the way up to his chin.

   Remus gave the other a small wave, just then realizing he had no game plan. Did he just… ask? Did he make small talk first? Should he invite him to his coffee shop for a drink and talk there?

   The other reciprocated the wave, smirking. “How may I help you, sir?” He asked politely

   Remus cleared his throat, deciding he should just be direct with this conversation. He was never really good at softening his approach anyway.

   “Hey, so, basically I heard something shatter and a lot of crying and yelling and I was kinda concerned about it, so I came to ask if you were ok.”

   The two men stared at each other for a few seconds before Remus spoke up again. “So, are you ok?”

   He heard the other snicker quietly, a gloved hand waving as if to dismiss the question. “Oh, my. That’s ridiculous. Your ears must be playing tricks on you, my dear.”

   Remus took notice of how he subtly buried his face deeper into the sweater.

   His attention was brought back up as the scarred man spoke again.

   “Thank you for caring, sir, it’s very kind of you, but I have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could tell you about the noise, but I'm afraid I didn’t hear a thing.” He shook his head. “Perhaps it was merely a harsh gust of wind.” He suggested.

   Remus let out a quiet sigh, but nodded and accepted the answer.

   The two waved each other farewell as Remus trudged back to the elevator.

Remus had been laying down, back pressed hard against the cold concrete of the floor. The chill from beneath seeped in through his spine and into his chest, weighing him down heavily. He just couldn’t stop thinking about his upstairs neighbor.

   It had been hours since his last visit already, and the man upstairs was still pacing across his apartment, occasionally he would stop and silence would follow. The pacing always started back up though.

   Absent-mindedly, his hands fiddled with the necklace around his neck, running his fingers across the cool, smooth metal.

   He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and he wanted to help.

   Remus knew that he didn’t have all the facts, and he didn’t really want to intrude on the man’s life. There was a possibility that nothing was wrong, and he was  just imagining things. He didn’t want to pester his neighbor with his stupid, false worries.

   But what if something is wrong?   You saw his puffy eyes. You know you heard those sounds.  His mind kept telling him.  You can’t just leave him alone, can you?

   Remus nodded to himself and for the second time that day, stood and made his way back to the other’s door. More hesitantly this time, he knocked. His raps were slow and unsure as he swayed nervously from side-to-side.

   He heard the pacing stop, and he waited, his focus on nothing but his shoes this time around. Then he heard footsteps approach the door and he looked up just as the door swung open.

   He was met with the same mismatched eyes, messy hair, and sweater. He didn't forget to take note of the new eye bags and odor he’s sporting with him though.

   “Oh, it’s you again.” the nervousness of his neighbor's voice managed to carry through despite the fabric covering his mouth.

   Remus ran a hand through his hair and looked to the side. “Yeah.” he chuckled unsurely.

   “I just- I’m still worried,” he said, smile falling. “I know you said you were fine, but… I just felt the need to check again. It’s- those sounds- they’re not leaving me alone.” he tentatively looked up into the other’s eyes. “Are- Are you sure you’re ok?”

   Remus is pretty sure he saw the scarred side of his face twitch, probably in annoyance he’s sure. He knew it was a bad idea to come back up. He was always such a bother, even to his own family. What made him think a stranger would appreciate seeing his face twice in one day?

   “Yes.” the answer cut through Remus’s thoughts and redirected his attention. “I am absolutely positive that everything’s fine.” There was a hint of irritation that Remus desperately wished he didn’t hear.

   “Once again, thank you for caring, it’s very kind. Truly. But I really do have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could help you with the noise, but I didn’t hear a thing. In fact, I’m almost certain it was just the wind. You need to stop worrying so much over such a trivial thing.”

   Remus’s body became hot with shame as he shrunk in on himself. He nodded at the man before he sluggishly made his way back.

The following morning, he didn’t even bother with breakfast. Immediately going over to slouch on his couch, he stared back up at the ceiling. It seemed to be a new favourite hobby of his apparently.

   He had a lot of time to think about the previous night, about his last interaction with the man upstairs.

    There was no way those sounds were from his imagination. He was in a groggy state when he heard the yelling, sure, but surely the pacing wasn't something his ears made up. Surely, the messy hair and puffy eyes weren't something his eyes made up.

   His mind carefully brought up the idea of confronting him again, but he quickly winced and scrapped the idea. The irritated voice of the other causing his gut to lurch in a nauseating way.

   He was most certainly not going to be looking him in the eyes for a good while now.

   He was starting to break through the surface though, right? Maybe he should just call it quits and admit that he can't help.

   He couldn't just go back up again, he didn't think he could take the ice-cold, biting irritation again.

   Remus sat, rolling the interactions over in his head. Whoever said anything about a letter?  A lightbulb sparked, setting an explosion through his body that jolted him up from his seat with a gasp.

   "A letter! That's so simple! I don't have to face him again, and he doesn't have to feel as much pressure! I'm a fucking genius!" He yelled, pumping his fists into the air with triumphant gusto.

He rushed over to his desk, brimming with excitement as he began to write.

   In Remus's very distinct, messily scrawled printing, he began:

   Sup Mr Scarface! (I haven't even thought to ask your name yet lmao)

   Listen up nerd! I  promise  I'm not playing tricks on you when I say this

   You’re  always  welcome to come in

   You could stay here for an hour or two if you ever need a friend. We can talk about the noise when you’re ready

   But… til then I’ll say it must have been the wind.

   Yours sincerely, annoying dude from yesterday ;)

   Remus let out a long, pleased sigh as he gave it a quick once-over. He saw many mistakes, but he gave them not even a second glance before he was already out of the door.

   He was going to deliver this letter and it was going to be wonderful!

Remus shucked his jacket off and onto his coat-rack upon returning from work the following day. It had been a pretty good day today. No awful homophobes, that's for sure.

   Turning his T.V. on for background noise, he moved over to his miniature kitchen. Distantly aware of a news reporter talking about some murder, he got started on his rice and gravy.

   Perhaps 10 minutes passed by when he heard a gentle rapping on the front door.

   Remus curiously strode over and opened his door, surprised to see the man from upstairs in front of him.

   "Oh, wow. Hey there, dude! Didn't expect to actually see ya this soon!" Remus exclaims.

   "I, uh, yeah…" the scarred man shifted in place for a few moments, burying his face into his sweater. "If the, uh, offer is still open, I’d love to have someone to talk to,” he mumbled through the thick fabric.

   Remus stood and processed the words for a few seconds before grinning widely.

   "Of course! Of course! Come on in, my man! Lunch will be done in a bit if you want some!”

   The other smiled and shyly slunk into his apartment

   "I’d love that.” He said. “Thank you.”

   "Not a problem at all! My name's Remus by the way!" He excitedly extended a hand for the other to shake.

   Said man looked at his hand for a moment or two before carefully clasping his own around it.

   Even more carefully, his shy voice spilled a simple name. "...Janus."

[abused-sides]

Willingly Shackled [Whumptober 2020]

Note: I’m doing whumptober as a series. Check out the tag #whumptober 2020 v on my blog to read in order. Also on ao3.

Prompt: No. 4: Running Out Of Time [Caged] 

Synopsis: Styx works with Virgil. 

Trigger warnings: Cults, gaslighting/manipulation, restraints, kidnapped, lots of non-sexual but just as non-consensual touching, humiliation, treating people like property, blood, knives, violence/beatings, a person in a cage, let me know if I missed anything 

Word count: 1706 

A/N: This probably took twice as long to write as it needed to because I kept stopping to wince and procrastinate lmao 

October 2nd. 7:25 pm. 

Janus expected Virgil to lose his fight after Styx humiliated him, but if anything, that humiliation made him more fierce, more angry. He fought every order Styx gave him, defying him until he wasn’t able to anymore- whether that was due to physical or mental exhaustion -and the next time Styx visited, they started from the beginning. 

Styx, like his leader, began with manipulation to get Virgil to do what he wanted. 

He had crouched one day, beckoning Virgil over like a dog. “Are you really not tired of making things so hard for yourself? We’re not letting you out, so you might as well just accept it. Maybe you won’t be in those chains anymore. Just ask Janus— Up those stairs, life is much better. You’re lucky to have been chosen. If you just let yourself, you could be part of it.” 

Virgil covered his blistering ankles and pressed himself into the corner. “Janus left you for a reason, you psychotic fuck,” he snapped. “I’d rather die than be your pet.” 

He sighed. “Janus?” He looked at him tiredly. “Will you tell him?”

Janus swallowed and pursed his lips. “He’s not wrong, Virgil,” he said quietly. “It’s better if you listen.”

“It’s more than better. Don’t you want to go outside again? To walk around freely? To eat whenever you want? You can essentially have your life back, Virgil, if you just listen. You won’t have to work anymore. Doesn’t that sound better? No more gross motels.”

“What, in exchange for being your slave?” Virgil spat. “I’m fine right here.” 

When that didn’t work, he once again followed Bates’ lead and resorted to violence. 

Virgil screamed as Styx’s knife carved lines in his back. His binder, splattered with blood, was tossed to the side, his chest pressed to the stone floor. 

“Come on!” Styx shouted over Virgil’s cries, his blade a nonstop motion. “What do you say? I’ll stop when you admit it!” 

Virgil’s nails cracked and broke as he dragged them down the stone, his screams growing louder. Styx slid the knife around to his side and dug in deeper, twisting his wrist. 

“What do you say?” 

Virgil grit his teeth. Styx cut deeper, and Virgil’s eyes rolled back, his body falling limp. Janus hid a smile. 

“Fuck!” Styx used Virgil’s binder to wipe his knife clean and shoved it in his sheath, tossing the binder on one of the filing cabinets. “Remus!” 

The door creaked open and shut, Remus hurrying down the steps. Styx climbed off his seat on Virgil’s waist and stepped over him. 

“Make sure he doesn’t bleed out,” he grumbled as he shouldered past Remus. 

Remus flipped his backpack around and pulled out a Ziploc bag filled with latex gloves. He pulled on a pair and grabbed a cloth, grimacing as he pressed at various places on Virgil’s back. 

“So you’ve become the doctor.” Janus’ voice came out rough, raspy. “How’d that happen?”

Remus shrugged, eyes on Virgil’s cuts. “I’m the least squeamish. Bates has gotten… More enthusiastic, than he was when you left. A lot of our staff can’t handle it anymore. I come in for anything passed some bruising and broken bones.” 

Janus hesitated. “Are you happy?” 

Remus pulled a water bottle of his backpack and drizzled it all over Virgil’s back and side. He dabbed all over until the blood was gone and the cuts were cleaned. His eyebrows pinched as he sewed up the cut in Virgil’s side, and some of the deeper ones on his back. He scooped up antibiotic ointment and rubbed it carefully all over his back, then held him upright while he wrapped him in gauze with one hand. 

Remus slipped Virgil’s shirt back on and leaned him against the wall. The handcuffs clicked around the pipes, the padlocks on the chains that trapped Virgil’s legs. 

“I missed you,” Remus said quietly, not looking at Janus. “I’m sorry you’re back.” 

He started towards the stairs, but when he passed Janus, Janus called his name. He looked at him questioningly. “If I don’t get something to drink soon, I’m gonna fucking pass out. Can you tell Bates I’m complaining?” 

Remus’ eyes flicked to the door. He knelt in front of Janus and pulled another water bottle out. 

Janus’ eyes widened. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.” 

“That’s not something for you to worry about. Open.” 

Janus obeyed, and Remus took his chin between his fingers. He gave Janus water slowly, with breaks in between, until half the bottle was gone. 

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” Remus said in a hushed voice. “He’s happy with you. Things are gonna get better soon.”

Janus grimaced. “Thank you, Remus.” 

Remus watched him for a moment, before hurrying out of the room. 

Styx tried the physical route a few more times, but when it was clear Virgil wouldn’t break, he snapped. 

Janus flinched as he dropped the whip. He grabbed Virgil by the back of his neck and forced him to the ground, forehead pressed to the stone. 

“You can keep denying it if that makes you feel better,” he hissed in Virgil’s ear. “But that doesn’t change anything. You’re mine. The second we picked you up from that shithole, you belonged to me. This?” Styx grabbed Virgil’s collar and yanked it back until Virgil gagged. “This marks you as mine. You fight that for the rest of our lives if you have to, but you better get used to being with me.” 

Janus watched it happen. 

He watched Virgil’s eyes cloud over, watched the sobs rip from his throat. His fists unclenched, and his glare faded. 

No. Janus’ eyes widened, his heart hammering. Please don’t. 

“And what do you say?” Styx clearly said it on autopilot, already standing without expecting a response. 

“Thank you, master.” 

Janus’ chest squeezed hard enough to hurt. 

Styx circled to Virgil’s front with a surprised chuckle. “If I knew all you needed was some proof, I would have saved a lot of time! Up!”

Janus blinked away tears as Virgil swayed and struggled to his knees, back straight. 

Styx curled his hands in Virgil’s hair and grinned. “And just like that, you’ve earned dinner. Was that so hard, pet? Speak.” 

“No,” Virgil mumbled. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, what?” 

Janus looked away. 

“No, master.” 

“Good boy! Looks like Janus is finally rubbing off on you. I knew bunking you two was the right decision.” 

Janus’ stomach lurched with the urge to throw up. You’re destroying him. You’re a coward and it’s hurting him. 

Styx chained Virgil back up and left. After a while, Janus cleared his throat. 

“How, um… How are you feeling?” 

Virgil looked at him incredulously. “I’m great. Was thinking of taking a nap.” 

“You should.” Janus stared at the ground. Fear squeezed his chest, it was getting hard to breathe. “You need to rest. It’ll help keep your strength up.” 

“I don’t know how much of that I have left,” he mumbled. 

You’re killing him. 

Janus wracked his mind for something to say that would change his mind, and came up with nothing. They didn’t speak again that day. 

October 7th. 3:02 am. 

Janus groaned and cracked his eyes open as a pair of footsteps descended down the stairs. Something creaked and scraped, occasionally thunking. 

“What now?” Virgil almost whimpered. 

Janus frantically blinked the sleep away. Styx waved at him cheerfully and continued into the room. Something crashed— Janus’ head whipped back to the stairs, where Remus braced himself against a large dog cage. 

Janus’ heart dropped. 

“Come on, Remus, hurry up. Fuck, be careful with that, it was expensive!”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. 

The cage grated horribly as Remus pushed it across the room. Styx pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked Virgil’s ankles. 

He snickered and ducked as Virgil kicked wildly. “YOU’RE NOT FUCKING PUTTING ME IN THERE!” 

He hissed in pain as Styx gripped his blistered ankle, arching his back. “Down, boy,” Styx laughed. “This is appropriate, don’t you think? A nice little reminder that you belong to someone now. To me, in case you forgot.” 

This is sick. Janus’ mouth was full of cotton. This is too far. You have to stop. 

Styx unlocked Virgil’s wrists and grabbed him around the waist as Virgil broke for the door. Virgil thrashed and screamed while Styx dragged him out of the way. Remus pushed the cage into the corner and opened the door. 

“DON’T!” The cage rattled as Virgil kicked it, nearly knocking Styx off balance. “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! LET ME GO!” 

Janus shrunk in on himself and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Remus, help me!” Styx snapped. 

Virgil’s protests dissolved into animalistic screams and wails. The next time Janus looked, the cage door was chained shut, Virgil crammed inside with not even space to turn around. 

Styx crouched in front of him. “This is only temporary, I promise. You can get your freedom back when you learn to be a good boy, like Janus.” He held his arms out, palms up. “Do I get a thank you?” 

Virgil glared at him, tears running down his face. Janus’ skin crawled, dread seeping through. Please don’t. 

“Thank you, master.” 

Styx’s lips curled into a grin. “Good boy.” 

He and Remus left, the door slamming behind them. Janus’ cuffs tugged as his wrists as he pressed himself against the wall. His eyes stared stubbornly out the dirt-crusted windows, refusing to look to his left, refusing to see the emptiness in Virgil’s eyes. 

After a long time, after Janus’ eyes had glazed over and Virgil’s sobbing had faded to sniffles and the occasional uncomfortable groan, he asked quietly, “Are you still there?” 

Virgil drew in a shaky breath. “I don’t know.” 

Janus’ bottom lip wobbled. 

“Why are you crying? You’re fine. You have it way better.” 

“You’re wrong,” he whispered. 

Go on. Lie to him. Tell him it’s better to fight, that it might work, that he might get out. Encourage him to put himself through more pain so you don’t lose hope. Tell him that being forced into a cage is better than being willingly shackled. 

“We’re getting out of here.” Janus leaned his head against the wall. “I promise.” 

Kofi and commissions, 1 coffee = 300 words of your prompt

[illfoandillfie]

Curtains - Part 4

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Roger x Reader

Summery: You turn Roger down

Warnings: Smut (18+), angst, an argument with some very mean words, rough sex, choking, badly handled Feelings

Words: 4,192 (longest chapter so far)

A/N: penultimate chapter is a bit of a downer lmao

Taglist (though notifications don’t seem to be working so hopefully ya’ll see this):  @laedymoon​  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​​

@bohemiansweede​​ @rogershoe​​  @lnnuend0​​  @funitrog​

You’d managed to avoid Roger for a solid three weeks. It hadn’t been easy considering you went to the same uni and lived next door to each other and you still hadn’t hung your curtains, but you’d been managing alright. There’d been a lot of ducking into bathrooms or around corners when you saw him on campus. A lot of studying on your couch rather than in your room to avoid him knocking at your door again. A lot of leaving early and sneaking home when you knew he’d be playing at the pub or else crashing on friend’s couches when possible. Anything to avoid Roger and the questions he was sure to have about your cancelled date.  

The night he’d asked you out had been a sleepless one despite what you’d told him, your brain keeping you up with misgivings about dating Roger. Sex with him was one thing but an actual date was a whole different ballgame, one you weren’t sure you wanted to play. You needed more time to think, weigh up what you wanted. Did you enjoy being around Roger? Or did you just like that he could get you off? Most of your conversations had happened just before you slept together, while you were too horny to think straight, or just after, while you were coming down from the high. Which made it hard to know if you actually liked him, or it was just the endorphins talking. He seemed sweet enough, if a little full of himself, from what you knew about him, but really he was a giant question mark. He might be a complete arsehole. Or a control freak. He might be a serial womanizer. Or a serial killer. So you’d called it off, the day after he’d asked you out. A purposeful accidental meeting on his way out of the house. It had taken hours of sitting by your front door, changing your mind over and over again as you waited for him to step outside and head towards his van. A small wave to get his attention and then, when he’d smiled and greeted you, an apologetic look and some bullshit about a family situation meaning you weren’t going to be able to see him on Saturday. The lack of sleep might actually have helped you sell your story. He’d looked disappointed but not half as disappointed as he was a minute later when he tried to reschedule, and you said you’d have to get back to him with a day that worked. Since then you’d done everything in your power to not see him. Ostensibly so you could think things through, give yourself some time to work out what you actually wanted, though the reality of it was closer to making excuses and hiding. Sometimes literally hiding. He’d come over a few times, sending you scurrying for cover in your bathroom. You’d found notes each time, once or twice accompanied by a flower, saying he really wanted to talk with you. You stopped reading them after the third one, though you didn’t throw them out. Just left them in a pile on your coffee table, waiting for you to get curious enough to take a peek. And now it had all gone to shit because you’d forgotten to account for his dumb friends. 

“Y/N, can you just tell me what’s going on?” Freddie asked you, having cornered you on campus before you could think to escape his notice. You hadn’t even considered Freddie or anyone besides Roger wanting to talk to you about it.   “Sorry Freddie but it’s really none of your business. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got t-”  “Rog has been really bummed out since you cancelled on him. Moping around, playing the worst fucking music. Constantly, for two and a half weeks now. Just rubbish record after rubbish record. I think that entitles me to an explanation of what the hell happened between you.”  “It just didn’t feel right,” you shrugged.  “But fucking in the pub bathroom did?”  “That’s different,” you said, annoyed that he was inserting himself in your business, judging your actions, “The sex was just sex, I never signed up to get involved. Besides, Roger isn’t the sort of guy I date.”  “Bullshit,”  “What? You think because I'm shy and find it hard to approach men that I can’t have a casual fling? That I’m so desperate for attention I’ll say yes to anyone?”  “Darling you don’t have a monopoly on being shy,” He paused for a moment, eyeing you up, “Everything you just said is rubbish.”  “Excuse me?” You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting indignantly for Freddie to continue.  “It’s got nothing to do with things not feeling right or whatever else you’ve told yourself. It’s because you’re scared. I know you were scared to approach him when you moved in and you were scared to make a move on him at the pub. I saw you, hoping he’d notice you. And we all saw you after the show the other week, laughing at his jokes and all those little smiles when you thought no one was looking. You turned him down because you got scared.”  “Fuck off Freddie. We hung out one time, you don’t know me and frankly neither does Roger.”   “Isn’t that the point of going on a date though? To get to know each other?”  “Maybe I don’t want him to know me. He only thinks he’s interested because I’ve been sleeping with him. As soon as it stops being fun or he finds someone new, he’ll ditch me.”  “You need to give Roger more credit than that.”  “No, what I need to do is get to class,” you pushed past him.  Freddie's voice followed you as your stormed off, “Fine, Y/N, but can you at least talk to Roger about it?”  You threw him the V over your shoulder as you walked away.  

Still stewing over everything Freddie had said, you didn’t pay any attention to where you were walking.   Wanker, you thought to yourself, what’s it to him anyway. Not my problem Roger’s in a shitty mood and has crap taste in music. Says a handful of sentences to me while we hung out in the van one time and he thinks he knows a single thing about me. Thinks he can butt into my business. It’s got nothing to do with him if I never see Roger again! You spent the next few minutes cursing Freddie and coming up with a list of things you wished you’d said to him, only stopping when you realised you were standing outside your front door, yelling a single, loud, “SHIT” into the air. That summed it up really. Shit. Everything was shit. Missing a class you really should have been at was shit, being cornered and read like a fucking book by Freddie was shit, not seeing Roger was shit. You decided to call the day what it was – a total fucking lost cause – and have a nap. Your bag thumped against the floor where you dropped it by the door, your shoes making equally loud bangs as you kicked them across the room. The small pile of notes still sat on the coffee table, taunting you, but you ignored it heading stright to your room. You shimmied out of your jeans and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over your head to block out the sun streaming in through the curtain-less door. God I've really got to fix that. 

Just as you got settled you heard a tapping against the glass. You screwed your eyes shut, having a feeling you knew who causing the racket, and willed him to go away. He didn’t. Instead he tapped louder, his voice muffled by the glass as he called your name.   “Y/N, I know you’re in there! I heard you swearing!”  You buried your head under your pillow, trying to block him out. The constant tapping alone was getting on your nerves, never mind his voice.  “I can fucking see you moving around! Can you please just talk to me?”  “Go away Roger!”  “Not until you talk to me!”  “For fucks sake,” you hissed under your breath before throwing the covers back, “Fine!” You strode towards the door, yanking it open, “Fine, let's talk then.”  “Drop the attitude Y/N. You’re the one who blew me off and then fucking disappeared for weeks, I just want to know why.”  “Take the hint Roger, I don’t want to date you.”  “Jesus, yeah I got that. Why are you being such a cunt about it though?”  You stared at him for a few seconds, stung though you knew he was right.  “Well? Are you going to say something, or just stand there?”  You decided on neither, moving to shut the door in his face but he was too quick, wincing as it his his shoulder.  “No, you owe me an explanation Y/N,” he said pushing the door wide enough to get inside, “What did I do? Something happened between me leaving and the next day when you cancelled and I want to know what the fuck it was,”  “I came to my senses that’s what happened,” you stood your ground even as he invaded your personal space and a voice screamed in the back of your head to just stop and be honest.  Roger shook his head, “You think you’re being so fucking clever, don’t you? Well you’re not. You’re just being a bitch.”  “You don’t know me, Roger. You think cos we fucked a few times you know a single goddamn thing about me but you don’t.”  “I had it right the first time.”  “What?”  “The first time I fucked you. Left as soon as I’d finished with you, that was the right idea. All that hanging around after shit was a waste of time.”  “Yeah well, if you ask me none of it was worth it. Should have realised after the first time you weren’t a good enough fuck anyway.  “That's bullshit and we both know it. Do you have any idea how fucking pathetic you looked, how desperate, waiting for me to notice you? One fucking word was all it took to have you spread your legs for me, and in a room full of strangers no less. Literally begged to suck me off last time, like a proper slut. You’re the easiest pussy I ever got, Y/N. And It was stupid of me to think you were worth more than the time it took me to cum.”  “That’s how you feel is it?”  “Yeah, it is,”  “Really?”  “Yes.” His voice was dripping with contempt as he glared at you. 

There was a beat as Roger seemed to realise what he’d said, eyes widening in horror and then your hands were at his fly, nails catching against the denim as you almost tore the button off in your haste.   “Y/N wh-”  “Shut up and fuck me,”  He still looked a little shocked as you made to pull his shirt off.  “Jesus, do I have to do everything,”  That reignited his frustration and he managed to do what you couldn’t, tearing a few of the buttons from your shirt, sending them scattering across the floor, as he pulled it open to reveal your breasts. You got a hand into his pants, tugging at him as he pushed you towards your bed, door left standing open behind him. There was no time to think, no time to talk. One minute you’d been cursing at each other and the next you were lying on your back with Roger roughly pulling you towards the edge of the mattress. He let go of you long enough to get his pants down, moving your underwear to the side as he lined himself up. Your back arched when he entered you and you gasped as he paused.  “Fucking move, arsehole,”  “Still a pathetic slut,” he growled back bringing a hand to your throat as he leaned over and rammed into you. He’d been rough with you before but not like this. Careless. Inconsiderate. Brutal. Roger found a harsh rhythm and stuck to it, tightening his grip on your throat whenever you opened your mouth to hurl another insult his way. You grasped his wrist, nails digging into his skin which only seemed to inspire a rougher treatment. He didn’t bother to rub your clit, made no attempt to hold off his own orgasm and let you catch up. Left it up to you to get there or not. The familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach was only beginning to build when he grunted in your ear, hips stuttering. He left you feeling empty and unsatisfied, tucking himself away as you sat up and stared. There was a moment of quiet, both of you breathing heavily, watching the other.   “That’s exactly why I cancelled,” you said softly. You could feel your chest tightening, eyes prickling, but you were determined not to break down in front of Roger.   His shoulders slumped as he looked at you, absentmindedly raking his fingers through his hair, “Y/N, I’m, fuck, that wasn’t-“  “Get out,” Your voice was steady.  “That’s not how I wanted it to go. I didn’t mea-"  “Just get the fuck out of here Roger.”  He gave you a final apologetic look before flinging himself out of the door and disappearing around the corner. You held yourself together just long enough for him to leave and then you sunk to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, tears falling onto them and rolling down your legs as your body shook with sobs. You hoped he could hear, door still standing open. You hoped the whole fucking street could hear.  

Over the next few days the fight was all you could think about. He, thankfully, hadn’t left any bruises or marks on your throat, but there was a dull pain where he’d thrust into you so roughly, like he’d bruised your insides. A constant reminder of what happened, not that you needed one. You heard Roger’s taunts almost in a loop, each word drilling into your skull. A cunt. Easy. Pathetic. Every time you closed your eyes you saw him, glaring at you, spitting out how little he thought of you.  But the hurt settled into a bitter vindication. So much for Freddie’s faith in Roger, you’d been right after all. Maybe you didn’t go about it the cleanest way but you’d done the right thing. You saw hide nor hair of Roger, not even so much as a glimpse of him on campus, though Freddie and Brian both tried to trap you. From what you could gather, they knew you and Roger had fought but knew nothing of the specifics. Every time you passed them they tried to stop you, but you ignored them, walked away as they yelled after you that Roger was sorry.   “He’s really fucking torn up about whatever he said to you,” Brian said softly, catching your arm as you walked home, “I keep catching him mumbling to himself about it. He swears he didn’t mean it, whatever he said.”  “Sounded like he meant it,” you wrenched your arm free and doubled your pace until you reached the safety of your living room. Eventually they stopped, giving up on trying to convince you, and you thought it was done. 

Until the day you got home from an evening class to find Roger sitting cross legged in front of your door. You stopped in your tracks, “What are you doing here?”  Roger jumped to his feet, dusting his hands off on the back of his jeans, “I Just want to talk,” he held up his hands like someone in a movie, trying to prove they didn’t have any weapons.   “I don’t want to talk.” The people in the movies usually had a knife or something hidden up their sleeve.  “Please, Y/N? I’m really sorry about what happened last time. I understand if you never want to see me again and if that’s the case then I’ll leave you alone after today. But I’d like to have a better goodbye than that.”  Crossing your arms over your chest, you considered him. Part of you wanted to tell him where to stick his apology. But he did look genuinely upset and sorry and you felt guilty, knowing the part you’d played, “Fine. Can you move so I can open my bloody door?”  “Actually,” he glanced next door, “I was hoping we could go for a drive. The other three are home and I don’t want them to overhear.”  “Worried they’ll take my side?”  “No. It’s just none of their business. So, do you mind?”  On one hand, a bit of privacy would probably be good and being elsewhere might stop another scene from erupting. On the other, though, it was harder to tell Roger to fuck off if he was your ride home.  “We wouldn’t go far, just away from here.” He looked over at his place again.   “Yeah, okay,” You said quietly.  Roger gave you a small smile, and held his hand out in an after you gesture, letting you lead the way to his van.  

The drive was almost silent. Music had started playing as the engine came to life but Roger turned it off before you could hear more than a few notes of the melancholy tune.   “Not your usual sound,” you said, awkwardly trying to make small talk.  “Spose not.”  You didn’t know what to say. Neither, it seemed, did Roger. Luckily, he didn’t go much further than a few blocks, pulling into the carpark of the local park. Usually the place would be crawling with children, screaming at each other and their parents. But now that the sun had set it was virtually deserted. A few people taking their dogs for late walks passed by as he backed the van into a spot.  “Let’s sit in the back, more space,” Roger said climbing through and opening the back doors.  “No instruments tonight?”  “Nah, not tonight.” Another small smile as he helped you through. You settled in the doorway, legs pulled in close to your body, taking up as little space as you could manage. Roger sat opposite, chewing on his lip as he turned his head to stare out over the dark park.  “I am very sorry about what I said the other day,” he looked at you and then back towards the pond, “I had an idea of what I wanted to happen except it didn’t go that way. I got pissed off and just wanted to hurt you.”  “Mission accomplished.”  “I know. Haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The second I left and h-heard you crying, I wanted to turn the clock back and undo it all. It was so cruel. Everything I said, did, was just needlessly cruel and I cannot apologise enough. I didn’t mean any of it.  “I know you didn’t mean it. Don’t get me wrong, it sucked but I pushed you on purpose,” You let your eyes wander over Roger’s face, watching his reaction, “I wanted to hear you say something like that. And then I instigated the sex because doing it confirmed what you’d said. It was just a way to prove I was right to not go out with you. Make myself feel better about being so horrid to you.”  He sighed, bring a hand up to rub the back of his neck “Like I said, not how I wanted it to go.”  You both stopped, waiting for the other to say something, though when it became clear Roger wasn’t going to continue, you stepped up.  “Guess I was looking for a fight. Freddie caught me off guard earlier, standing up for you, so I was already pissed off. I would have had a crack at just about anyone who came past but seeing you just made it worse,” you let yourself relax a bit, one leg slipping down to dangle out of the van, “We can talk now though. Promise I won’t bite your head off.”  “I just want to understand why you changed your mind. That’s all. Not to try and convince you to change it back or anything, I just want to know if something I did upset you or…”  “It wasn’t anything you did, Rog.”  He nodded, looking a little relieved, “Can I ask what it was then?”  “Yeah, umm” you sighed, trying to find the right words, “When you asked me out and I said yes, I was still on this high from the whole night. Hanging out with you and your mates was fun and fucking you in the pub was fun. And then you kissed me, which I wasn’t expecting. You’d never kissed me before. So going out with you seemed like a good idea. But then as soon as I was alone again, I freaked out about it. Freddie was right. He called me out for being scared and he was right.”  “Scared of what?”  “Everything? I don’t know. Scared you’d only asked me cos you’d been drinking or so I’d keep sleeping with you. Scared of getting hurt when you realised you didn’t really like me. Scared that one date would lead to two would lead to a serious fucking relationship. I panicked and decided it was easier to cut everything off thank risk anything. I handled this whole thing appallingly didn’t I?”  “Yeah, little bit.”  “Sorry.”  You both fell into silence again. Roger’s brow was furrowed as he looked at his own fingers. You stared out at the pond, the stars reflected in the water blurring the longer you went without blinking.  

It started to rain softly, the drops tapping against the roof of the van. You barely noticed the drops splashing onto your ankle or the chill wind that accompanied the shower, too caught up in your own head, trying to work out how to fix the situation you’d tangled yourself and Roger in.  “Shit, you’re shivering,” Roger said, breaking through the mess of thoughts swirling round your head, “I think I have a blanket back here somewhere.”  You watched, rubbing your arms to try and fend off the cold you’d only just noticed.   “Here,” Roger said at last, throwing a fuzzy blanket over your shoulders, “Wrap yourself up in that,”  “Aren’t you cold too?” you glanced at the t-shirt he wore.  “Nah, I’ll be right,”  “We could share,”  “I don’t want to overstep,”  “You wouldn’t be. Plus the extra body heat might help me warm up faster,”  “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”  “Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”  Roger scooted closer, pausing before he came closer again, testing the waters. When he reached you he pulled the blanket around his own shoulders, one arm falling behind you so he was pressed in close.  “Definitely warmer,” you said, leaning your head against his chest, ready to spring back up if he said anything. It felt nice to be so close to him again, without the anger of the last time.   “I did mean it, when I asked you out. It was a genuine request not some ploy to keep sleeping with you or whatever. Just so we’re clear.”  You nodded, leaning into him. Without thinking you began tracing your fingers over his wrist, following some marks you couldn’t see properly. There was a pang of guilt as you realised your nails had left them there.  “It doesn’t hurt,” he said softly, reading your mind, “probably deserved it. Did I hurt you?”  “A bit yeah."  He shifted your hair, trying to see any signs of how he’d squeezed your throat.  “Not there.”  “Oh, Y/N,” he held you tighter, wrapping his second arm around you, pulling you against him, “I’m so sorry,”  “It’s okay Rog. Only hurt for a couple of days. And if anyone should apologise more it’s me. I was a cunt and you didn’t deserve how I treated you.”  “It’s okay. I get why. But why don’t we make an agreement to stop going in circles apologising to each other and put it behind us, if we can.”  “Go back to before?” You asked slowly, sitting up to look at Roger, trying to get a feel for what he was hoping for, “Hooking up casually?”  “If that’s what you want, I can do casual. We don’t have to though; I’d be happy to just be friends, or whatever. As long as we’re not fighting anymore.”   “Friends would be good. But maybe you should try asking me out again? If you’re still interested?”  “Really? I don’t want you to feel obligated to say yes out of guilt or because you want to make it up to me.”  “Ask me,”  This time when he spoke there was no hesitation, “Do you want to go out with me sometime?”  “I’d really like that.”  Roger tilted your head towards him. He paused, looking into your eyes. And then, when he was satisfied with whatever he saw there, he kissed you. Softly, one arm around your waist, the other resting on your cheek.