#warnings: toxic relationships

[kflixnet]

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show you the stars | tbz kim sunwoo

“Why's my girl misbehaving today, hm? Shouldn’t you be nice to the birthday boy?”

pairing » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader

trope/au » friends to lovers, (or should i say...) 'friends' to lovers, situationship (?), non-idol au!

genre »​ very suggestive!! (as compared to my other one), it's kinda fluffy uwu (everyone act surprised), a dash of angst, dom!sunwoo at times, sub!sunwoo at other times, kim sunwoo being whipped and sweet for you, but he's also flustered, he's flirting with you, reader is a bit of a tease and is confident, you're also flustered at times, sunwoo loves you and you love him (again, act surprised), finding love and comfort in each other after past relationships, kim sunwoo who just wants to be close to you

word count, estimated reading time » 4987, 18 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » very suggestive!!, dom! and sub!sunwoo, mentions of unhealthy past relationships, a ton of kissing, making out, marking (teeth and kiss marks; reader receiving), pet names (baby boy, baby girl), reader licks cream off sunwoo, sunwoo licking cream off reader's neck and collarbones, sunwoo is physically bigger and taller, reader has medium to long hair, HIGHLY suggestive at the end, rapid proofread once

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

happy birthday to (one of) the loml 🥰

uhm...

yeah...

so!...yeah...

i'm just gonna go...

The delightful aroma of your hard work fills the volume of Sunwoo’s apartment easily. You've been chopping, stirring and sizzling ingredients for the last two hours, excited for the first birthday that you'll spend together with him.

To elaborate on your relationship with Sunwoo, you're ‘friends’. The explanation would give most people deadpanned looks, accompanied by the raised eyebrows that would follow. Otherwise, others would only facepalm at the stupidity that you both seem to obviously share. Anyone could tell that with the way that you both would drop any conversation that you're in or literally drop the paper cup in your hand whenever the other comes into even slightly just their peripheral vision, that you're more than the label that you both have decided to nonverbally settle for now. 

Like your best friend from diapers would say, there's no way those kisses on the forehead, trailing down side to side across your eyelids, back medially down the slope of your nose, along the underside of your jawline, were things that ‘friends do’. Not with the way that Sunwoo would subtly slide his palm down from the comfort of your back to cup one of your bottom cheeks, smirking when he feels the heat radiating from your cheeks. 

And for you? You can't help but feel the disappointment in your chest whenever he passes the quiet but rapid breathing of your lips whenever he bypasses them to work on that sensitive spot on your neck, sometimes whispering compliments to the shell of your eyes with that husky, low voice of his—but well, it's not like that anymore.

Friends don’t look at each other’s orbs and are so immersed that they say “I miss you” in the most dewy, honey-dripping voice. In public where they're most disciplined, they don't hold each other’s hands while walking, a thumb smoothing over the other when they’re just walking along the empty night street or the aisle of the grocery store.

Friends don't give each other their spare apartment keys or sweep them off their feet as soon as the front door opens, distracting their worries and other thoughts by locking lips with each other. You would never let any of your other friends carry you in their arms and pull the same blanket that they will use in the night over your body. In the same way, you would never snuggle to the warmth of the person next to you, kissing them a sweet “good night” and “thank you”.

But knowing the manipulation and tears from your past relationship, none of you could bear to address the looming label that others already deem you as. Sunwoo is too scared to ask too, going through the same thing from his past relationship. Through the healing of the break-up that you both had in your respective lives, came the comfort that the other’s lips would give, and he would chase that feeling from you over and over again.

You're okay with how things are now. You respect him and you don’t want to push him or the title that you personally want to have with him. For now, you decided that actions will speak louder than words and when the right time comes, you both will address it without the influence of the outside world.

Today is just one of those days that you use your spare key to use Sunwoo’s kitchen to cook up a little feast. The dining table is decorated with a vase of roses in the middle as you hop between the stove and make sure everything looks presentable. The light dimming system of his house is perfect for the shooting star projector that you aim towards a blank wall. You're satisfied with all the preparation for the main meals, making sure that the moment he walks in through the door, you can cook and plate it up swiftly while it’s still freshly pipping hot.

“Oh gosh,” you're proud of your efforts with the vanilla whipped cream for his cake. “I'm a genius.” You sang variations of the phrase to yourself.

Curse your horrible time management skills because the clock in front of you only reminds you that you have little time until the main key is used on the front door. The sponge cake is assembled quickly, with a thin layer of crumb coating and cooling before you make the smooth layer of cream at the end topped with some chocolate and strawberries.

You stepped back to admire your work, making sure the fruit was on the perfect slope and that the chocolate bar next to it complemented the negative space around the centrepiece. Your hand under the cake was about to slip when you heard the keys rattling from outside and you swore the fridge door hated you by how you had a hard time opening it.

On the other hand, Sunwoo could smell your home-cooked meal a few doors down the hallway. His stomach only grumbled in anticipation but his heart was jumping at the thought of you greeting him behind the door. The smile on his face grew, his overgrown bangs tickling his eyelids with his rushed footsteps towards the door.

The sweet scent of your perfume is what he manages to pick up first, and he remembers how his time was well spent when he was shopping for the bottle for you. 

“I'm home.” Something that he has always loved to say, hating the lack of light in his house after a long day at work. His fingers were about to switch the light on but your shout stops him halfway.

Your body crashed against his before he could comprehend. Sunwoo groans a little at how his back hit the door behind him but his palms settled on your hips lovingly while your arms were wrapped around his middle, face hidden to his chest, nose inhaling your favourite cologne. 

Chuckling at your small apology, his fingers raised to tug at the hair tie around your ponytail. He tugs down on the elastic, now savouring the scent of your perfume and shampoo. It left you goosebumps with the way Sunwoo massaged your scalp, his other hand untucking his tight shirt that he gave you, from your skirt so that the pad of his thumb could feel your skin better.

“Happy birthday, baby boy,” exhaling at the gentle swipes of his thumb on your waist. 

“Thank you, baby girl,” trailing kisses from the top of your head to the side of your head. You tried to escape from the ticklish feeling but his arm wrapped around you, keeping your lower bodies flush against each other, “Where do you think you're going?”

You giggle at his lips down the side of your face, his breaths reaching the crook of your neck as he takes comfort there. It's only now that you realise the fabric of his material, is no longer the white collared polyester. Your heated cheeks brushed against the metal around his neck and Sunwoo could feel the start of your complaints from your deep inhale.

So he closes the gap and kisses you to quiet you down.

He ignores the little muted surprised sound from you, pulling away only slightly to smirk at you before diving in deeper. His palm grips on the curve of your waist, keeping you in control. He whispers for you to pull him closer by the neck and he knows the roll of your eyes isn't an indication of annoyance. Your lips danced between his, a hand over his nape to pull him down, your other palm cupping his cheek as you tried to control his hunger for you.

“Sunwoo,” Slightly out of breath, “What are you wearing?”

As if he didn't see the deadpanned look on your face when he decides to give your poor lungs a break, he leisurely answers, “This is the suit and tie of someone who decided to leave the desk early,” fingers hooking around the metal chain around his neck whilst simultaneously peering down at you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, “so that he could look hot for his birthday and his girl.”

You couldn't deny that. Shamelessly, you let your eyes roam over the somewhat tight shirt that he has. His pectoral muscles are defined with the grey stretchy fabric and the silver accessory around him only made him all the more irresistible. Kim Sunwoo knows how to make you swoon, styling his hair lazily with his strands covering his field of view. 

Sunwoo makes it known that your stare is invited, loving the attention that his special day gets him. You're looking at him so delicately that his smug confidence falters into a softer look. His lips form a straight line but the moment your eyes meet his, there's a deep resonating chuckle from his chest, a happiness that spreads to you.

“Let's go eat?” With an affirmative hum and a quick peck, Sunwoo lets your body go and links with your palm, letting you guide him deeper into his house.

As soon as his eyes take a glance at your work, he's momentarily still. From the tablecloth draped over his table to the stars on his wall when he realises, you remember his wish to make a wish to the star. He's always found the idea to be a bit innocent, unlike his relationship with you but the fact that you kept it in mind, and how his grip on your hand only tightens, tells everyone that Kim Sunwoo is ready for more.

He daydreams of a day when he would kiss you awake, and how you're the last voice he would hear before falling asleep. How you'll greet him when he opens the door and kisses all over his face and more. How he’ll be able to spend his money spoiling you instead of only spending it on himself. How you’ll be his number one and how you’ll be his. These thoughts have roamed his head for a very long time and he used to keep it in, hide it for the sake of not ruining whatever you two have.

But with the way that you would kiss his nape as a greeting whenever he would be sitting down in front of you, or the way you would sit down on his lap and crane his neck up to meet his lips with yours. How the heated sessions would only flare up more when he sneaks his fingers around the band of your bra, and the whole intimacy that you show each other—Kim Sunwoo is undoubtedly in love with you. 

Besides the intimacy, it’s the things you do for him. Namely, it’s the view of his house right now and the welcoming scent of his favourite food that you prepared for him. It’s even more precious to Sunwoo as he knows that you do this even when it isn’t a special day. You have done this whenever he would hint how much he misses you and you would show up to mend his tired heart the next minute. It’s not just the kisses and skin on skin. If you stopped guiding him to his designated chair and looked back at him right now, you would see that lovesick look on his face.

Sunwoo offers to clean up the space whilst you’re cooking but you quickly refuse, saying that he should take a rest, even if it’s for a while. After a few tries, Sunwoo finally listens to you, sitting down where you want him to. He takes this time to admire your decorations, snapping electronic memories of his surroundings and taking extra shots of the wall that seem so much more inviting with the video of falling lights. 

His eyes are stuck there, entranced by the view. You see from across the room how he readjusts his position and closes his eyes. Your heart swells with that, keeping the view of his head down slightly as he mouths inaudible words to the stars you projected. When he opened his eyes, you diverted back to dinner, happiness evident in your face at he appreciated your work.

While you focused on the pan, Sunwoo found a couple of metres gap between you cooking and him sitting too far away, so he took a seat from the other side of the kitchen island, the significant piece that separated you two. Soon enough, you pout at the return of the multiple camera sounds, this time louder and clearer. You tried to lean over the island to snatch his phone away and Sunwoo mirrored the playful smile on your face.

“Behave,” he knew it worked like a charm when he saw you flustered. Your outreached wrist from your attempt only gets caught up with him and Sunwoo draws you in closer while he leans in to meet you in the middle. The dim lights overhead set the mood more as they angle the shadows and highlight all the kissable parts of your face and Sunwoo swears he could kiss you all night. You watch the gulp down his throat and his stern eyes drifting to the knobs of the stovetop to turn off the fire. Kim Sunwoo is no longer playful like a minute ago.

You’ll admit that he sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach but it didn’t stop the tugging of the corner of your lips and Sunwoo’s eyes widening when you decided to turn off the fire but never returned to him. Sunwoo lets out an amused scoff at the way you cross your arms over your chest, leaning your back on the free space next to the stove. 

His eyes narrow to you, a tongue poking his inner cheek at your sudden surge of confidence, “Now,” You watch him turning his body sideways, walking along the opposite side of the island towards you. He stays silent for a bit longer, letting you know that a question is coming; and that he wants answers to it. Copying your gesture, Sunwoo leans before you not even a metre and nothing separating you anymore. “Why's my girl misbehaving today, hm? Shouldn’t you be nice to the birthday boy?”

“You really want me to be ‘nice’?” You shake your head, finding the statement amusing, “You love it when I play with you like this. What's life without a bit of misbehaviour?”

The boy couldn’t even get a word out when you suddenly took a big step towards him. Your palms rest on the edge of the table, caging his figure. You purposely lean into his chest, eyelashes subtly fluttering underneath the still orange lamp from above. There was no longer a chance that Sunwoo could think straight anymore. Not with the way that just like before, you cradled the underside of his jawline. 

However, your hold on him this time is different. It didn’t feel like you were going to pull him and have your kiss marks all over his skin like the way he would never refuse to when you asked. The confused lines between his eyebrows only deepen more when you just keep staring at him with a dazed look in his confused orbs but it’s then that he sees a glimmer of hope for the relationship that you both could share.

It may have been the light or it may have been the reflection of his own eyes or—and this is what he hopes—it’s the glimmer and stars in your eyes that you hold as you look at him at the moment. Sunwoo tries his best to understand your unspoken feelings but his train of thought is cut short when he registers the dollop of coolness on the left side of his jawline.

His breath hitches in his throat when your right hand hooks around his necklace and you latch your lips around the cream on his face. Your tongue swipes the food off his skin, alternating between kitten licks and long swipes. Your left-hand swipes the wall of the metal bowl behind him, trailing down a path that you would soon wipe clean. Sunwoo shudders, his light moan hitting your ear and his little whiny begs encourage you to keep going.

Your breath hitting his skin would normally rile him to put you in your place but all he could do with his lower back digging against the edge of the table is to clench his hands onto your mid-outer thighs to stabilise himself. 

“God…” Sunwoo calls out when he opens his eyes to meet your daring ones. “You're so beautiful.”

“Enjoying this?” And he responds with a harsher grip, hands raising and starting to lift your skirt to your upper thighs. 

The coolness of the cream, followed by your light alternations of sucking and kissing on his skin, and the way the air cools the area after is perfect and Sunwoo’s head tilts back in satisfaction. 

Too bad you wouldn't let him because you finished trailing his jawline, stealing a kiss straight to his subtle, hungry lips. The taste of vanilla and the pressure of your lips makes his head light and the room seems like it's spinning. But now, it's his turn and you know it with the way he pushes you away with all the strength he has left in him. He bends down to wrap his arm around your mid-thigh that has crescents of his nail on your skin and he sits you on the countertop and slots himself between your knees. 

Sunwoo’s eyes are darker than the night outside but it doesn't fear you at all. You're now the one caged between him but unlike Sunwoo, you knew you didn't have any strength to push him away—nor did you want to. You bite your lower lips when he starts tugging your left sleeve down your shoulder to have more area to work with. 

“My turn, baby girl,” metal against marble is heard next to you and Sunwoo uses his pointer and middle fingers to scoop the sweet white. 

A smirk comes up his face when you grow visibly weaker for him, your posture faltering underneath his dominating presence. Sunwoo held your chin between his thumb and ring finger and applied a thin layer between your open mouth. 

“Take a deep breath for me.” And you did so almost immediately.

You soon found out that the deep breath is needed as Sunwoo not only takes your breath away by covering your mouth with his own but that he multitasks to smear the food all over your neck and collarbone area. Unlike you who preferred things to be more uniform and clean, Sunwoo loves how you squirm and whimper under him with multiple senses. His fingers traced the horizontal line of your collarbones first before he came up and around the side and front of your neck less uniformly; he’s getting impatient now. You soon found out that the skin he exposed earlier wasn’t so that he could have a reason to place his tongue there, he’s just hungry for more of you, wanting to feel every part of you, just like how his tongue pushes against yours.

You find his little huffs of annoyance endearing as he mumbles about how the lack of oxygen has him pulling away from him showing his love. In reality, it was just a few seconds, but every second without you felt like a lifetime to him. He cleans the last bit of cream on his pants and he finally detaches his lips from you. 

Sunwoo straightens his posture, looming dominance over your wrecked mind and half-lidded eyes. A hanging weak string of saliva still connects you both in the air for a minute and his right hand wraps around your left forearm in place. You didn’t mind his sticky fingers that started to brush the strands of your hair from the top of your nape. It’s a lovely feeling from the adrenaline he gave you but he raises your heartbeat once more when he plays with the wind to your ears, “Tasting lovely, baby girl.”

Nothing else is said as his lips dive into the sweet trail that he made for himself. Your body reacts to the sudden warmth by pulling away, but his hold on your shoulder reminds you of your place to stay where you are. The same hand reaches to drip on his elbow for mind stabilisation but your free one pushes against the broad of his back. Your legs hook around the back of his thighs to feel him indefinitely closer. It seems like the boy has learnt quickly, especially when it’s from you because just like the way you made him see the stars on the ceiling, he made you see it but with more intensity and brightness. 

Sunwoo loves unpredictability over anything, even though he appreciates how you value the opposite. One of the reasons he appreciates it is because he knows what to anticipate next whenever you both feel each other, and he loves the building climax. But you who is receiving his unpredictableness, can only curse him out whenever he tries something new on the body that he has come to be familiar of. The thrill of your groans and whines makes him feel in control and just like any other time, Sunwoo didn’t hesitate to plant something new on the curve of your neck. You sharply gasp at the way his teeth very lightly plunged into you but whimper louder at how he hallows his cheek on the area. From the corner of your eyes, you see the vein of his neck start to appear with his actions.

“You’re right.” He pulls away slightly to admire a part of him on you before diving again to properly clean your skin. “I do love you like this.”

Your lips are trembling in pleasure too much to string in proper words so you only whine to his acknowledgement. When one side of your neck is clean, he doesn’t bother keeping his touch to himself, briefly swiping anything that he can get on the way to the other side of your neck. Kim Sunwoo drives you crazy and your legs around his body tighten for another attempt to stabilise yourself.

Your jaw slacks when he bites again, this time just a tiny bit stronger as a response to your lower body. He lets you drop your head back, hand still on your nape so that he has control over the area he’s marking and maximises the pleasure that he can give. The tip of his tongue starts to alternate between the sucking and long stripes that you did to him. A satisfied chuckle hits a sensitive part around your collarbone area when Sunwoo feels his shirt further define his pectoral as you clench his fabric in your fist. 

Ragged breaths along with a mixture of wet kisses are all that’s bouncing between the four walls. Flushed bodies and heated skin press against the two who are afraid to love again. You’re aware of his heart pounding against his chest, knocking on yours to let him in. The closer he travels down to your chest, you’re afraid that he will feel the pounding, afraid that your hidden desires may show through and be overwhelming for him. The meaning behind your clench changes in time that your skin is now littered with a different colour because of his actions. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, exhaling and stepping back to admire his work.

You do the same, chest raising rapidly to account for the lost air, taking advantage of the space now that he’s pulled away. Sunwoo couldn’t help the small chuckle at your pout and he wipes them away by granting you another kiss, palms resting on the edge of the table, trapping you once more. Your noses comically bumped into each other, still lightheaded from before but you enjoy the atmosphere that would always come along after the intensity you poured out to each other. Your legs relax between his figure and both your hands delicately cradle his cheeks. 

The realisation strikes again: all you want is him. 

Him and everything of him.

The thought of him kissing someone else churns your stomach and makes you green, even though he’s not yours. You didn’t want anyone else cupping his cheek the way you do, and you didn’t want to see anyone else next to you when you opened your eyelids to the song of the morning birds. You want to be greeted by his chest or hairline when he needed comfort the night before. You want his “I love you”s and “I’ll miss you”s even if one of you is just going to another room in the building. You want to be the person that he can always lean on for whatever and whenever. You want him to be the person that you can cry ugly to. The wishes filled your body as you wished he would kiss you like this forever with or without the title that you would love to establish.

You feel the clenching of your heart when you open your eyes with the final pull of the remnants of vanilla, greeted with the shimmering orbs that you’ve fallen in love with. Your eyes are stuck onto the smile lines around his face and he’s entranced with every single part of you, staring at you with the honey dripping from his eyes. The smile you offer him is bashful and slightly tense. Of course, he caught up to that, humming at the sight of your pretty head filled with worries. His thumb glazes upon the apple of your cheeks and you wish he didn’t just so that you could save yourself from heartbreak. 

Kim Sunwoo makes you believe that love is worth it; that you’re worth it.

You wish you were more confident to tell him that.

Sunwoo leans his forehead onto yours, eyes planted on your downcasted gaze, “Hey, can I tell you what I wished for at the shooting stars?” but you only hum back, refusing to look at him, “Can you let me be the only person to touch, hold and kiss you like that?” There was a moment of silence as Sunwoo let you register his words. When it does click to you, your eyes shot up to his. A nervous chuckle is what he offers you but he doesn’t plan to take his words back, “It’s okay if you’re not ready. I’ll wait for you. But,” he swallows the anxiety down his throat, letting his face roam around your slightly confused face, “I can't stand the thought of someone else littering kisses all over you other than me.”

It’s genuine.

Kim Sunwoo’s eyes are different than any of the eyes that you once put your trust in.

It’s obvious.

“Jealous?” It was supposed to be more striking and playful but it turned out to be more tiring and insecure.

Again, he caught up to it and decided to carry on the narrative of your words with a careful tone, “You’d be fine with other girls running their tongues all over my face?”

The mention of your past actions started the multiple offences to his chest and the poor boy loves the flustered look on your face, complaints flying out of your mouth. In this moment when you both indulge in the comfortable relationship that you share, your posture relaxes and your hands rest on your laps. Shortly, Sunwoo joins his own there, fingers intertwining between yours and just like how he soothes the heaviness that you hold internally, his thumbs swipe across the back of your hand.

“If you do, I won’t let you off easily, Kim Sunwoo.”

You hope that he realises the real implication behind the words. Sunwoo’s brain buffered a little bit but soon enough, the straight line shape of his lips raised into something more. Along with it, his naturally mischievous personality also raised his eyebrows. “That’s my girl.”

You couldn’t help the giggle at how his face flush red after, bashful at the effect you had on him. Your fingers brush along the ends of his hair that seems to get in the way of his eyes.

“You should cut them or something.”

“I look hot like this though.”

“You always look hot.”

And there comes little shy Kim Sunwoo once more. 

“I-Instead of flirting with me, why don't you grant my other wish instead?”

“Oh yeah?” You lean back on the table, hands behind you for support, “I granted you your wish, shouldn’t you grant mine first before you ask for another one?”

“How about I grant them both at the same time?” 

“You don’t even know what I want.”

True.

As much as Kim Sunwoo has been paying attention to you, you’ve always been the girl to never fully express what they want despite the encouragement from your loved ones that they will always stand beside you no matter what. An idea brews in his head when you lean back and he catches the glimpse of the white rays shooting out from the sky behind you. You know with the way that his tongue swipes along his bottom lip, mouth slightly agape that he’s up to no good.

His hand leaves the marble you’re on, drawing closer to the side of your thigh to your waist. Innocently, he displays his big, round eyes to you and his actions contradict them heavily. A few of his fingers slip past not only the waistband of your skirt but also the fabric underneath it. You thought he would stop his ministrations there but his other hand traces the same path on the other side of your body, this time however even though his hand did not go under the underband, the clip behind clicks open.

“You can’t wish for anything until I show you the stars.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

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[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[thegnomelord]

You ever hear the gross stories about people putting peanut butter on their junk and having a dog lick it off? This sounds bad but stay with me here, imagine it's marakov doing this with hound. Like it's a humiliation thing to break hound down or something and drive it into his head that he's no better than an actual dog. Marakov starving hound for awhile so he's famished and then pulling the peanut butter out. If hound wants to eat then the only food he can have will be the peanut butter he'll have to lick off marakovs cock.

Oh fuck that is disgusting and SOOO something Makarov would do. So here's a lil ficlet cause you got my brain going Brrrr

CW:NSFW, MDNI, Makarov x male reader, blowjob, peanutbutter food sex, toxic relationship, dom/sub dub-con, rough and quick, I дворняга - mongrel, mutt есть - eat, нет - no.

Rough fingers grip your jaw until it hurts, Makarov's thumb pressing down on your tongue to keep it flush with the bottom of your mouth. Drool and a bit of blood run down your chin, a small puddle already forming between your folded knees. The fingers on of his other hand wiggle your canine, uncaring of how your jaw trembles in an attempt not to bite him.

"Poor дворняга," Makarov chuckles, "Not liking your new teeth?"

Your 'new' teeth hurt like hell and that's saying something, gums around them still raw and irritated, knives stabbing at your entire jaw and down your throat whenever he wiggles the tooth even slightly. But you can't show that, don't bite the hand that feeds. So you swallow the sound of pain bubbling in your chest and shake your head as much as he allows you to do so.

You can see his smirk past the tears blurring your vision. "Good dog." He chuckles, pulling his fingers from your mouth to pat your head. "You must be hungry."

You are. Starving. You can't remember the last time you've been fed, probably before Makarov had your canines ripped from your mouth and replaced with metal, but the constant pain buzzing in your body makes it hard to keep track as the days blur together. You wordlessly nod your head, knowing better than to speak when he hasn't given you permission yet (you doubt you even could with how much your jaw hurts.)

Makarov leans back on your bunk, letting go of your jaw to fiddle with the jar of peanut butter. Unscrewing the lid he dips his pointer finder in and scoops up a big dollop of it. He holds it out for you, resting the back of his finger on your tongue. "Есть." He orders, tone leaving no room for arguing and you're quick to close your lips around his finger, tongue moving to lick it clean and trying to avoid nudging your teeth.

You've always hated the stuff since Price got you to try some when you were in America, the taste and texture making your skin crawl, but right now it may as well be ichor of the gods. Your stomach rumbles at finally being able to devour something, even if it's just a small scoop of peanut butter.

You open your mouth when you're done, spit clinging to Makarov's finger, and try your best to make a small whine. "Good, finally learning." He hums and sets the jaw down, unbuckling his belt.

Your heart stutters and drops to your stomach as you watch Makarov fish his half hard cock from his boxers, only needing a few strokes to get him fully erect. Makarov laughs at the face you make when he scoops up a good amount of the peanut butter and uses it like lube on his cock.

"Oh, did you think you would just get to eat?" He snorts, holding the base of his cock, "Нет, нет, нет you dumb mutt." He spreads his legs wider, patting his thigh. "You'll have to work for it, now есть."

You hesitate, some meager part of your pride absolutely unwilling, your stomach telling you to forget about that. Makarov waits, judgmental eyes locked on you, easily able to see the turmoil swirling in your eyes. He knows how to be patient, while he usually wouldn't tolerate disobedience, he knows he can't set up a hunting dog for failure and expect success so soon into your training.

His efforts bear fruit and you slowly shuffle forward on your knees. Even starved as you are, the wide span of your shoulders still forces his legs to spread wider. You hesitate some more, looking past his cock up at him, wondering if he really wants you to do this; is this a reward or just another way to tear you down?

"Do not make me repeat myself." He says, voice even and cool, but you're still perceptive enough to notice the sharp edge of danger in his tone, like a knife pressed into your throat.

Tentatively you lean in, fists clenching against your thighs as your tongue lolls out to hesitantly lick at his shaft. He doesn't rush you, doesn't degrade you, but his hand does settle on the back of your skull. You freeze, but he only hums, "Good dog." His hips twitch until his shaft bumps against your nose.

The hand on your head keeps you from pulling away, and your hunger soon wins out so you give a few experimental kitten licks. You start at the bottom, still uneasy about this, your tongue licking across his knuckles. Makarov purrs something in Russian you're not familiar with, his tone not sweet enough to make you think it's an insult, so you slowly continue up his shaft.

His precum mixes with the peanut butter, giving it a saltier tang that makes disgust curl in your stomach, humiliation making your face burn. Even your mind mocks you; Price's voice echoes somewhere in your ears "This is why we left you, you were just waiting for a chance to be a terrorist's whore." but that voice slowly gets quieter as Makarov's hand pets your head, making thinking about anything but the creamy peanut butter on your tongue difficult.

"Good dog, doing so well for me." Makarov hums, a pleased sound escaping his chest. The pleasure your mouth brings is miniscule compared to the sight of you - on your knees, eyes slowly closing as your malleable mind settles into static, drool smeared lips wrapping around his head to suck all the food your tongue missed - oh it's something else. He's seen many powerful men brought down to their knees, but nothing has ever made him harder than you right now.

You pop off his cockhead, chest frantically moving to draw breath, unfocused eyes staring at his drooling head before you look up. "Now wasn't that a good treat?" He asks, receiving your mumble in return, using your spaced out mind to smear more peanut butter on his head. "But you missed a spot. Go on, есть."

[kflixnet]

Check out our member Coco’s oneshot!

in another life.

lee heeseung x f!reader x ??? (it’ll make sense when you read I promise)

SYNOPSIS: in which losing you is the least of heeseung’s worries, until he’s forced to watch you slip through his fingers.

wc: 1.9k (almost 2k fr)!

genres: best friends to strangers, unrequited love (or is it), best friends to lovers

warning(s): heavy angst, toxic friendship/relationship, heeseung is mean, very very mean, manipulation (nothing too crazy), refusal to take blame, and heeseung needs to be humbled imo…ANYWAYS, small plot twist but not really! (a/n: header is ugly because I made it in like 2 minutes since it felt naked without one 🤣☝🏽)

Lee Heeseung knows about your feelings for him at  the mere age of eight, when you give him the other half of your popsicle stick that you’ve just bought with your very own allowance. His smile is so bright taking the food from your hand that it doesn’t even matter if you’ve spent all five of your dollars on the popsicle because as long as your youthful heart can see Heeseung smile, that’s all that matters to you.

Heeseung also knows about your feelings for him when you’re both sixteen and he proudly exclaims that he’s finally asked Jisun out after months of pining after her. A hurt look flashes across your face for one, two then three seconds, then as if it was never there, it’s gone. He thinks it might have been a bad idea to tell you but he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings you have for him and in his mind, he never will. 

Keep reading

[sketchthetofu]

Day 4: Toxic (Relationship)

Um so… yeah I can’t justify this- I’m not normal about them at all- (also!!! My own Wight & Kota designs <3!)

[spookytrashturtle]

A man saying I love you while piercing another man's spine is absolutely heterosexual and friendship, isn't it? (waring: violence)

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[tardxsblues]

Wow! We're doing charm as well now, are we? Which one of us is dying?

[sublimepoliticsmusicbiscuit-blog]

My tastes run pretty specific. For romance, I need MUTUAL obsession. Not some run of the mill possessive shit.

So not a surprise my favorite shows are Hannibal and Interview with the Vampire. Until recently they were the only stories that satisfied me in the romance department.

Until I watched the Jdrama My Beautiful Man/ Utsukushii Kare.

Guys, watch it. If you need interesting characters who create an interesting relationship. A psychological story with romance at the centre. And feral mutual obsession/ love. Hoo boy! This is it. I now exist with a pit that no other content is able to fill. Seriously not kidding.

How do I erase my brain so I can experience this again?!?!

Also both these men are effin beautiful.

More people need to watch this!

[inheartofwinter]

For @drarrymicrofic 's song prompt "My Tears Ricochet" by Taylor Swift. G | 386.

Warnings: MCD, implied toxic relationship.

On My Grave

“Why is he crying?” Draco asked, watching his husband standing lifelessly in front of his grave. “Isn’t my death what he wanted?”

Death tilted her head. “Is it?”

Draco nodded. “It is. He said it. He regretted marrying me. He wanted to be the Wizarding World's hero. Everyone he loved wanted him to be the hero. He couldn’t be it with me by his side. He should rejoyce now that he could be the hero again.”

“If that were the case, shouldn’t he just divorce you? Or kill you long ago?”

Death's question caught Draco off guard. His heart had stopped beating but it could, it would have been dancing right now. The mere idea that Harry loved Draco more than being the Golden Boy made him elated. But Draco only entertained it for a second before shaking it away. He shouldn’t hope. Hope always brought despair. Nights of crying himself to sleep had taught him that.

“He's a hero. Heroes don’t go around abandoning their spouses or killing them. So he had to bear with me even if he did not want to,” Draco pointed out the most logical answer.

Death hummed. Draco could not tell if she was agreeing with him or not. Since his encounter with her, she had never shown any clear emotion. Maybe it was just right. Death was never anything emotional. It was the living that felt emotional over it.

“Anyway, he’s going to join us soon. You can ask him when the time comes,” Death said as she pulled Draco away. “Time to go.”

Draco's eyes widened. “What do you mean?!” he shouted but Death didn’t even give him a glance.

Draco anxiously looked back at Harry. He hadn’t moved an inch since Draco had waken up on his grave that morning. Harry didn’t look very lively, but he also didn’t look like someone who was going to die either. Draco chewed his lips, watching Harry’s figure becoming smaller and smaller.

Maybe Death was just saying nonsense. Maybe what Death meant by 'soon’ was dozens of years later. To a being like Death, that much time should be just a blink.

As Death pushed him through a gate, Draco decided to stop thinking. He was dead, anyway. Whatever happened to the living wasn’t his place to worry about.

[quinloki]

That twisted villain kind of love where he’s already decided you’re his, and you just need to accept that.

The kind of love where he grabs you by the back of your neck and shoves his tongue down your throat, reveling in the sounds you’re making even if you wanted to stay quiet.

It doesn’t matter that you’re choking and protesting, the flush on your face and the gasp for air when he leans back is all he’s looking for. You can spit on his face and he’ll lick it off before pulling you into another invasive kiss.

You can scratch and beat on him the entire time, please do struggle against the inevitable. He’ll dine on your resistance and acquiescence in equal measure. There’s so little space between Monster and Master, but he’ll push you over that line in time.

[kflixnet]

Get ready for our member Mai's written series!!

BITE BY BITE — a lee heeseung series; masterlist.

in which you’re a vampire, and heeseung teaches you how he likes to be bitten.

SYNOPSIS. lee heeseung has one reputation, and it’s that he’s not afraid of anything: of rules, of authority, and especially not of vampires. he’s obviously bad news, and for such reasons, you’ve always made sure to never cross paths with him. however, it isn’t until one fateful night that you catch his eye and what he tells you makes your entire world flip on its axis.

“bite me, fangs. just like last time.”

PAIRING. college playboy!heeseung x vampire fem!reader

GENRES. romance, (modern) fantasy, slight action

WARNINGS. written series; swearing; descriptions of blood and violence; descriptive & suggestive (makeout) scenes (but no smut); some angst; heeseung is kind of a dick / overly flirtatious at times / slightly toxic (sorry I'm kinda into that) and yn is very timid to begin but I promise I'm a fan of character development

A/N. my bite me inspired fic HEHE I'm still streaming the shit out of that title saur </3... anyways I'm actually so excited for this because biteme!heeseung is making me spiral LMAAOO this series is lowkey just a thirst trap sorry :") hope u guys like this,, so much planned for it hehe. buckle in for a ride. . . >:)

MASTERLIST.

✩ ┈ bite I: ✩ ┈ bite II: ✩ ┈ bite III: ✩ ┈ bite IV: ✩ ┈ bite V:

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST!

TAGLIST IS OPEN — send an ask, dm, or reply! :> — THIS IS A WRITTEN SERIES ; not an smau !

╰┈➤ MY OTHER STORIES :)

[buubonita]

I'm still stuck on that silly idea where Nightmare lets Killer use his knife on him, I'm writing about it, slowly but there it goes.

Now I think Nightmare implements a reward and punishment system with his boys. Do things right and you get a treat, make a mistake and you learn to improve your performance. Simple but effective.

Dust probably messes up a lot and on purpose, he's very difficult, but he eventually learns that keeping Nightmare in a good mood (even if that's still a promise of cruelty sometimes) is better than making him angry.

Horror is a middle ground, but it's not hard to bend him in the right direction.

Killer has favoritism on top, but you'll see if that's a good thing when it comes to Nightmare.

If giving Killer false illusions of control helps him stay in line, then Nightmare allows it.

So you have him doing some sort of cathartic knifeplay with him until Killer learns full well that this was an orchestrated lie and the enthusiasm runs out like an open wound. They have eventually to find something new to dig on as usual.

[babyxbluexmoon]

☁︎ 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒 ☁︎

Yandere! Neteyam x Fem! Human! Reader!

warnings: 𝘺andere behaviour, murder, drowning, possessive behaviour, toxic behaviour, yandere neteyam, smut, rape to consented, choking, spit kink, biting, forced mating, manipulation, impreg. Not proof read.

synopsis : y/n was never truely a fan of the na'vi, she found them too tall for comfort, scary. She wished she was never bought here by her father who had no one else to give her too. now with him dead, she was orphaned, raised by the scientists of the pandora labs. however, being too scared of the world around her, she stayed in her room, only letting few care and see her. until today.

"Y/n? What are you doing out of your room?" Norm asked the teenager who was too afriad to ever leave her bedroom. The h/c girl shrugged, "felt brave today I suppose.." she admitted, and walked into the lab where she was met with Spider, readying his mask to head out into the world of non-breathable air, and people of blue. "Y/n! Your out of your room?" The boy asked, his light dred locks messy as always, his body faintly painted in blue stripes. "Yeah.. where are you going?" She asked, protective of her other orphaned friend.

"Out to see the Sully's. Wanna join me?" He offered and she shrugged, and paused, thinking it over before deciding to give it a chance. "Sure, I suppose... just stay close to me.. yeah?" She asked and he nodded, handing her a mask. "They wont hurt you, I promise.". With those words she felt atleast slightly more assured, and put on the mask, pressing in the button, allowing herself to breath. He walked out of the labratory and Y/n hesitantly followed, closing the door behind her and she was met by the world outside. She had never been out here before.

"Great right? Air feels amazing." Spider smiled up at her and she was tempted to go back inside, her small body begining to move on it's own before Spider clasped her hand, his almost swallowing hers. "Come on!" He laughed lightly, dragging her and she basically held her breath, unaware of the events to come. Unaware of the make she would soon come to fear... and love.

He took her over to the Ikrans where she gasped softly, and backed away but he went behind her and gently pushed her back towards, "they won't hurt you, if you don't seem a threat." He reassured and she sighed, trying to push back but she couldn't. Infront of her stood a yellowish ikran, beautiful and scary. It made a noise towards her, and she swallowed heavily, "This one is Neteyam's." He said, and she processes the name in her head, "Ne..te.. yam.." she muttered, and then looked at the beast.

Spider only looked away for a second when he saw Neteyam and Lo'ak approching when he heard her giggle. He turned back and the three males saw her petting the ikran, that surpeisingly, strangely, nuzzled into her hands, seeming to enjoy her touch. She scratched under his chin, admiring his colours when a voice spoke, english with a heavy na'vi accent. "He likes you." It said and Y/n whipped her head around, seeing two na'vi folks. She retracted her hands, making the beast let out a whine.

"S-sorry.." she said, and Spider stood infront of her. "Neteyam, Lo'ak, this is Y/n, or the girl who never leaves her room. Y/n, this is Neteyam and Lo'ak. They are Jake Sully's sons." He explained and she swallowed again, nodding as a greeting. Neteyam approched, petting the Ikrans head. "He usually doesn't allow humans to touch him. You are special." He spoke to her, and as they made eye contact, both their hearts skipped a beat in sync.

'He doesn't look scary..' she thought, ripping her eyes from him, and soon saw an even taller male approching, and she gulped. It was Jake Sully, the Olo'eyktan of this clan. "Is this really little Y/n, why haven't you grown." He said, giving her a slight smile with she slightly returned, then also gave Neytiri the same expression when she arrived with their youngest child, Tuk.

"Wow, your short." Tuk laughed lightly, standing at five foot seven while Y/n stood at five foot five. Y/n chuckled, then noticed how Neteyam seemed to be studying her as his Ikran nuzzled her back, making her jump, then turned to him and smiled slightly, petting him once again, only for him to sniff at her mask and growl softly. "This..? I-I need it to breath.." she explained to him as if he could understand or respond.

"You.. wanna fly?" Neteyam asked her suddenly, making all eyes move to him. She was about to respond, but Neytiri spoke, "Y/n is a very.. fragile human. Flying is too dangerous for her." She said, and Y/n just gave a calm expression, but then Spider grabbed her hand, "come on, I want to show you around!" He said and vegan dragging the stumbling girl who struggled to keep up with him. "Come on guys!" He called and Lo'ak decided to follow, and soon Neteyam and Tuk did aswell.

They took Y/n through the forest, showing her diffrent creatires, plants, explaining doffrent things to her, and soon Kiri joined them aswell, and another friend, Nuk'tai. He was another omaticaya, slightly shorter than Neteyam, only slightly. Y/n got slowly more comfortable as they went on, soon spotting something. "What is that..?" She asked Lo'ak who hummed, looking at whatever she was staring at, seeing an Eywa seed floating over, and soon landing on her hand.

Neteyam watching, his ears twitching as his tail began to gently sway. He felt strange, as if he wanted to feel her hand. Was it soft or rough, warm or cold. He wanted to feel her hair, long and h/c. Look closer into those deep e/c orbs, with those long black lashes, and her glissening s/c skin, flawless aside from scars around her nails, matching Kiri's which showed she either bit or scratched at them.

He deicded to stay close to her, watching how her much curvier body moved, diffrent to Kiri's and his mothers, andany other female omaticaya. Until the omaticaya females, her thighs jiggled gently as she walked, her waist smallish, but her breasts larger, bouncy looking. Her hands had an extra finger like his siblings and father, and her face wasn't as defined as them, but it had characters, like her little button nose.

He swallowed, then eyed her clothes, and found himself hating them. Why cover so much of a nice body. He decided to give into a small thought and spoke. "Why don't you dress like we do? It will be fun." He suggested, and before the sky girl could answer, Tuktirey spoke out. "Yes!! Follow!" Shesaid and grabbed Y/n's hand, dragging her. He found it funny that an eight year old was taller than Y/n. A teenager.

Y/n sat, letting the girls sort her some clothes and she blushed deeply at the top they choose. A few necklaces, designed to only cover the nipples and bots of the breast, but not completely. "I-I will look naked.." she said softly, "you wont, promise." Kiri smiled, and then her and Tuk hide her from the males as she changed and they held her. She had a skirt like cloth covering her bottom half, then those lovely necklaces covering her front.

The girl then began to braid her hair, and the boys collected some beads. As Neteyam laid hiseyes on her beautifully sculptured body, he felt his mouth water. He licled his bottom lip, and decided to advace futher. He sat cross legged infront of the girl, forcing her eyes to meet his chest, then he face, before he began braiding the beads into her long locks. Kiri then began to paint her body once her hair was done and clothes, matching her to Spuder with faint blue stripes.

She then got some blue, red, yellow and orange feathers, and tied a small ponytail in the bacl of her hair, leaving the rest down and placed the feathers around it, and two by her ears. "There, you are done." She said and Y/n looked down at herself in the pond water beside them. She swallowed, her breasts almost showing, her thighs completely on show, her flat stomach. She was most definetly feeling naked.

Neteyam however, his stomach was doing backflips, his head spinning, his tail swaying, his ears twitching, his lips parting, licking his lower one. His pupils slightly dialated. However, a sudden call of anger washed over him when he saw Nul'tai doing the same thing. Looking at her like his next meal, and he had to swallow a growl itching to climb from his throat.

He suddenly felt like grabbing and holding her, biting her neck until crimson ran down that squishy, soft, small body she had. Show him she was not his for gawing at. 'Why...? We just met..? She's a human..' he thought to himself, confused as his eyes scanned her, making him bite his bottom lip. 'But Eywa.. I want...' as the two made eye contact, his finished his thoughts in an instant. 'I want her.'.

Later that night, the Sully kids walked the humans back to the labratory, and Neteyam felt as if he was letring go of his braid, watching her walk up those stairs. Spider walked in, but before she could, he spoke. "Come again, tomorrow." He said, trying not to sound demanding, and she tilted her head, "Um.. sure, Neteyam. Goodnight." She gave him a smile, and he rubbed his blue lips together. "Goodnight, Y/n.".

____

Morning came around and Y/n was approched by the pandora head scientist,offering her to make her an avatar body, as he had the equiement too, so she she could breath and possibly become more comfortable. She decided on a maybe, saying she would think about. It was one thing hanging out with them, but becoming one? Now that was a very.. alien thing to her.

She put on a mask and left, this time without Spider who was still sleeping. She walked around until spotting Neteyam alone. Slowly, she approched, and tapped his shoulder onxe, making his head turned to her, a stran of his many braids waving away from his eye. "Y/n." he said in a welcoming tone, and she gave a gentle smile, "Neteyam, hello. May I sit with you..?" she asked and he nodded.

Y/n sat down cross legged, and he admired her still seeable body, considering she was wearing the clothes his sisters made her, and the paint. "I was given an offer." She said and he looked over, his exoression unreadable. "Hm?" He urged for her to continue. "I was offered to have an avatar made for me. That way it will be easier to explore, and breath without a mask. Neteyam took a moment to think about it, but then realised.

If she became an avatar, he could kiss her, feel those cheeks. Sure, she eould be skinnier, taller, but my god, he could.. he could kiss her. He could.. claim her with the connection of braids. Then human or na'vi, she would be his. He felt disgustee by his own selfish thoughts over a girl he barely knew, who barely knew him, but he couldn't sleep last night, her eyes, her face, her body, her voice filling his head.

"I think you should go for it." He replied and she responded with a head tilt. "You can have the best of both worlds. And if you explore yourself as na'vi, you may become more comfortable. You will be able to claim an ikran aswell." He pointed out, and she hummed. 'I could force you to walk through the eye of the great mother, and become like me permantely. My mate,.' He thought.

She actually slightly agreed with his statement. He had a point. "You know, I might just do that." She replied, then looked out at the skies oytside the rocky dome their clan remained in for safety away from the not so nice sky people. Her eyes held grest curiosity, which Neteyam admired. He wondered how he fell so fast, so hard, so quick. Why he wanted her to himself. He had deep, shameful urges to mate with her, right here and now, whether she wanted it or not, and that made his stomach drop at the fact he knew, if he wasn't restraining himself. He'd do it.

And so, later that week, after agreeing to have an avatar of herself made,the Sully children and her looked over her avatar body in the tank, floating. It wasn't ready yet, some features needing to be added. She was.. beautiful. He actually kept her body shape slightly, only slightly slimmer which made Neteyams heart throb. Her face was like her own, but firecer, her pointy ears adorable.

"What do you think?" Norm asked her and she looked over, "She- I..? I look pretty cool. One question. Why keep me short?" she asked, her avatar height only standing at six foot seven. "Because.. well I took your height and went with it." He explained with a shrug, making her chuckle and Nuk'tai patted her hair. "Well shorty, omce your in that body, I'll help you claim an Ikran." he promised and she giggled, "sounds good, Nuk." The human replied and Neteyam bit down on his tongue, drawing crimson in his mouth, the matalic taste seeping down his throat.

However, he decided to play it safe and said, "Mind if I join? I would like to watch." He asked and Y/n nodded, "sure. But how do you claim an Ikran?" She asked, and Nuk'tai made an awkward expression before speaking. "We'll tell you when the time comes." He said, rubbing her small shoulders and Neteyam gripped his hand into a fist, trying to ignore it. 'Stop touching her. I hate it. Stop it. Shes.. shes my mate.' He thought to himself, but contained the burning rage pulsing through him.

"Lay in this capsual." The scientist instructed while Norm helped her in. Her avatar was complete, done quickly swiftly, clothed and done up all nice and ready. She let out a shakey breath as the Sully's and Spider awaited her avatar body to awaken. Neteyam was excited, but tried to hide it, though his swishing tail was betraying him horribly. She was gorgouse, and he loved her this way, though human her was amazing aswell.

The capsual was closed abd she felt strange, paniced for a small moment, then sighed and closed her eyes, soon her mind drifting off into nothingness. She blinked, letting a small noise excape her lips as she blinked, seeing everyone around her. "Lo'ak.." she mumbled, seeing him the cloest to her head. "How'd you feel?" Norm asked, coming over with his mask off as she sat up off the bed she laid apone.

Neteyam smiled at her slightly. There she was, his mate, his lover, his everything. No one elses,nothing elses, just his. "Can you speak, Y/n?" Norm asked her and she parted her lips, but realised the air was thick, and only just about breathable. "Here." Kiri handed her a mouth mask, which she took a breath of pandora air and then let out a sigh again. "Thank you.. and yes, yes I can speak."

Nuk'tai came over and smiled, pushing some hair behind her ear, her pointy blue ear. The hair was still half down with a small ponytail, but it had some braids running through it with beads, and then of course her queue, her connection. She slowly stood up with the help of Kiri and wobbled slightly, but then shook her head and worked to stabalise herself before slowly walking. "Can you wa- oh, perfect." Norm smiled.

Spider came in and grinned up at her, "finally not a shorty." He said and she look over, "shush you or I'll wack you with my braid." She giggled. Everyone was happy, and so was Neteyam, aside from the fact that he wanted to rip Nuk'tai to pieces, touching what belong to him, how dare he? The group helped her move about, testing her tail, her fingers, her toes, her ears. Jake and Neytiri came over and helped her out of the lab, then she looked around, her showy, beautiful clothescupping her unaturally curvier body, since they kept her that way for her comfort.

"Right, have you done the training Spider has?" Lo'ak asked and she nodded, "I know the basics." Y/n replied, taking in how tall she was from the ground now, how her senses were enhansed. She could feel her new body parts, like her tail, her ears, her braid. Nuk'tai took her finger fingered hand in hia four fingered one, and began to drag her. "Come on, Ikran time!" he cheered and Lo'ak joined after them, followed closely by a lowely growling Neteyam and a giggling Tuk and Kiri. They took her up the moutains, helping her climb and teaching her how to use her new strenghs.

It was good she understood na'vi atleast, so it was easier for them to explain. Soon, they made it to the banshees docking area, where wild banshee's flew and roamed. She smiled, amazed. "So, how do I know which one is mine?" She asked, not quite caught up on Ikran studies. "They will try to kill you." Lo'ak replied and she blinked, "brilliant..". So there Y/n slowly walked through the squealing banshees, piercing her ears painfully as she looked around. Soon, a light purple wnd blue one turnee to face her, and hissed at her, so she instinctively hissed back. "Beat, and connect your braid." Spider explained.

"O-ok.." she uttered, and Neteyam already gripped his knife to protect her, just incase, however he did find her hiss attractive, 'I will make her walj through the eye of Eywa.. she will be na'vi, beside me..' he thought and grinned slightly, until his eyes caught Nuk'tai, watching her intensely as her moved around with the Ikran, before the banshee went for her, and she dodged, then heard Kiri, "jump on it's back!". She did as instructed and climbed quickly onto it's back, grabbing the connector but it soon began to jump and spin about, screeching and roaring.

She fell off with a grunt, but got up and hopped up again, wrapping her legs around it's jaw, forcing it closed, then connected her queue to the Ikran, making its pupils dialate. She panted softly, then listened as Kiri instructed her to fly to seal it. She moved off its head and onto it's back, and spoke, "Fly." Gently, and off the banshee took, making her squeal and grip on tight. "Slower!". Soon it slowed down, and she let out a breath of relife, "Good.. Good..?" She leaned and looked under. "Good girl.." she soon got the hang of it, and Lo'ak, Nut'tai and Neteyam joined her, with Spider on Lo'ak's, Kiri on Nuk'tai's and Tuk on Neteyams. "Your doing it!" Nuk'tai cheered and she giggled.

"What are you naming her?" Tuk asked and Y/n hummed softly, "Hmmm..? I'll name her..... Amitia." She said and they all nodded in approval. She did a few test tricks, circles, dropping down and catching itself, spinning. It was amazing hiw quickly she understood, and soon Tuk got on behind her, laughing happily as she hugged her waist. Seeing Y/n with his little sister, made Neteyams heart flutter, and his tail sway gently. God he wanted her, now.

Finally, his breaking point arrived when they landed, and Nuk'tai helped her off the beast, then took her smaller hands in his. "You were amazing, Y/n. You looked stunning.." he said, and glanced at her lips. In that moment, Neteyam snapped. He tried to stop it, god he tried. He held himself to his Ikran but his body soon moved on it's own, going over to the male and gripping his shoulder tighter then needed. "Can we talk?" He asked and Nuk'tai nodded, "sure.".

The two males walked off, and once they got far enough, Neteyam suddenly grabbed his queue and began ragging him deeper into the forest, shoving a cloth in his mouth. He screamed and tried to fight back against him, struggling. He bought him to a pond and threw him in, then got in the the shallow bit after him, and held him down. He struggled against him, struggling as he was forced under the water, splashin to break free. After some time, Neteyam pulled him up and growled at him.

"Y/n is mine." He said. "My fucking mate. You dirtied her with your hands.. I hope Eywa has mercy on you to die quickly.." he spoke darjly, his eyes holding a great craze, with sharp, small pupils, his bottom lip twitching as he growled before shoving him back in the water before he could answer, drowning him. A slow death purposley. He keot holding until the others body fell limb, but Neteyam kept holding him under incase he was pretending.

He pulled him along until he found a big rock, barely liftable. Perfect. He used some vines and tied his legs together, then tied them to the rock and went behind it, grunting as hr pushed on it until finally it dropped into the pond, dragging his lifeless body with it. Neteyam watched with sly orbs, like a panther watching it's preys life fade from it's eyes.

Soon, he was definetly dead, lost and gone. He let go and walked out thewater, his breathing heavy and rapid. "Shit.. oh Eywa, what have I...-" he paused himself. "He.. deserved it. He tried to take whats.. what belongs to me.." he said darkly, "My Y/n.. fuck, I need her.. now. Right fucking now.". He made his way to to the others, and soon sawY/n with her Ikran, alone. Perfect.

He approched her, and with every step was an argument in his brain. 'This is wrong Neteyam. Stop right now. No, no, She's yours, you can do as you please with her. Stop! Do it!' Ran through his mind, as he got closer and closer, until suddenly he was behind her. He pulled out his knife, and suddenly smacked the back of it down on the back of her head, making her grunt and collasp into his arms unconious. "I'm sorry, my mate.. forgive me.".

He took her body and hid it for a moment while he went and snucl to the labratory, and pressed the button on her capsual, letting her free. She opened her eyes and gasped at the sight of Neteyam. "So-something happened to Avatar me.." she said gently and he nodded, giving her a mask. "Come on." He said and she felt slightly confused by his demanding tone. They left the labratory and she tried to find her Avatar body, and he just followed.

Soon he pretended to spot it, and spoke. "Over there. Look." They went over and she saw the prickles of blood dripping down the back of her neck, making her gasp. "What happened..?" She uttered, "this." Suddenly he hit a nerve in the back of her head with his hand, and down she went. He slung the Avatar body over his shoulder, then her human body under his other arm, carrying them away.

He left the rock hideout, and snuck away to the forest. "You drive me crazy and we only met yesterday.. fuck me.. I've never snuck away before.. the things you do to me.." he said, holding her closely. Arriving at the magical place, the tree of souls, or, Eywa, he went over and laid her down at the foot of the tree, laying her bodies head to head. Before anything, he leant to her human body and kissed it deeply, "this is how it has to me, my Y/n. May Eywa, please, for the love, guide you.". He began chanting, knowing the words, praying it worked. He took off her mask as the wind picked up slightly and her human body gasped gently, but he didn't break his consontration.

He heard a small noise after some time and peeked his eyes open, her human body waa taken into the grass around the tree, sucked into the ground, lost. Her Avatar body however, moved slightly and he crawled above her, looking down. Her eyes fluttered open, those golden orbs meeting his own ones and he smiled lovingly. "Ahh.. there you are." He spoke in na'vi, andshe tilted her head. "Neteyam..? Where are we? How am I in my avatar again?" She asked, and he placed his hands on her shoulders, "shush.. take it easy.." he spoke softly.

He took her braid from underneath her, and bit his bottom lip as he forced a connection between him and her. She gasped and stared up at him with wide eyes. "Ne-Neteyam!?" Y/n squeaked, definetly understanding that from being told and reading about it. "Wh-why would you do that!? Where are we?" She asked, and tried to pull her queue from his, but he held them together with his hand. "I'm sorry, Y/n.. I tried not too.." he said, then crawled ontop of her, until she was laid down and he was hovered above her.

"Neteyam let go.." she said, so lost by the situation before a surprised muffled squeak excaped her lips as his lips crashed against hers, and she struggling underneath him, trying to push on his chest bit he was much bigger and stronger then Y/n. She thrashed about and soon bit down on his bottom lip, making him wince and pull away. He growled and moved their bonded queue's, flipping her onto her stomach. "Was going to make this eaay for you, but it seems I need you to fear me before loving me.. thats alright...".

She felt tears well up in her golden orbs, "Neteyam wheres my human body..?" She asked, looking at where they were the Tree of Souls. She knew this is where Toruk Makto became full na'vi, andshe instantly feared the worest. "Oh her.. she has become apart of Eywa now. You can be with me forever now, my mate.. never needing to leave this body of yours. Permantely my mate." He said, biting on the bacl of her neck, making her whine as she gripped the grass, begining to sob.

"It's ok to cry, you'll be moaning in a moment." He reassured. That voice trying to give him asense of his actions had faded away. All he could do, see, was her. He knew what he wanted, and it was his mother who once told him 'when you want something, fight for it.' And he did when he drowned Nuk'tai and now got rid of her human body. She belonged to him, because he wanted her to belong to him. She didn't need a say when he had already made the decision.

He removed his loincloth, then her skirt, and took off her necklaces, laying them side. He took off hia choker, and the clothing on his waist, before sitting on his knees, adirming her ass, squishier than a normal na'vi from how the scientist made her. Leant down and swiped his tounge over the slit of her vagina, feeling her twtich. He then leant back up and placed a few gently kisses on her ass, forcing her head to lay on the grass as he plumetted two of his big slim blue fingers inbetween her lips, and inserted them into her vagina hole, sinking into her core warmth.

Y/n let out a muffled sob, tears sinking into the grass. It felt really good, but fuck, why was he doing this to her? Why did it have to be this way between the two? "stop Neteyam.." she begged, a line of sweat mixing with the tears, the uncontrolable tears that were slightly turning his on as he slammed his fingers into her core, harder and harder, hitting all the right places.

"Fuck yeah, Y/n.. thats it.." he praised, watching her folds become soaked in pure juices of arousel alone. Her body quivered, trying to get away but the hold on her braid was preventing it. He pulled out, slick following after his fingers, attaching him to her before he snapped, then he moved and grabbed her hips, his hard dick ready to take her as his own. He placed his tip to her entrance and she let out a squeak, "Stop! Stop it!" The girl cried, but in his slid, pushing her walls to open around him. She screamed and he covered her mouth, his body looming over hers. "Shut up.. you'll love it in a minute..".

He began to move his hips in and out, realising she was virgin, which wasn't surprising considering where she had been living. He grunted at her tightness, and she trembled, sobbing quietly as small breaths excaped her mouth. "My mate.. my fucking mate.." he spoke and she whimpered. "Please stop.." she mumbled, and suddenly he pulled out and flipped her over, moving their connected braids before slamming back inside, pushing all his lengh in, which was a pretty good size.

"You are mine to break.." he growled, having zero mercy left as his hips slammed back and forth inside her, letting grunts and breath out as she cried and moaned. Her hands were trying to push him away, but soon his lifted her legs onto his shoulders, and pinned her hands to the grassy ground. "Fuck Nuk'tai.. everyone.. you are my bitch.." he snarled, inches from her face and soon he closed the gap, kissing her roughly, shoving his tongue between her lips, forcing her to take him in her mouth, saliva mixing painfully beautifully.

After sometime, he pulled his lips away, staring down at her drool covered lips, licking his own, his stomach tingling at the view. He could feel her tightening around him, and she could feel him twitching. Y/n let out a breath, her eyes rolling back, and thighs clenching, her mind becoming fuzzy. 'Y/n.. stop..' she thought to herself, but the pleasure was welcomed by her body not listening to her brain.

"Stop.." she said weakly, but then gasped as Neteyam's hand came around her throat, him humming. "Fucking choke.. I will make you adore this.. do you not realise you need me..?" He asked and her eyes peered up at him. "You'd be lost without me, flower.." he leant closer. "Doesn't this feel good..? You can have this and more as much as you want.. I'm yours, and you are mine. Together forever.. no one to get in the way.." he promised and she stared up at him, slight widen orbs and choked gasps excaping her mouth.

"You need me." He said, moving his hand from her throat to her cheek, his hips slowing. "And I fucking need you. God damn it, I need you.. I need you so bad.." he said, an kissed her lips gently, making her shiver and let out a whimper. "Neteyam.." she uttered, suddenly her brain began to spin. 'D-do I need him...?' She askee herself, her thoughts begining to stir up wildly. 'We haven't even interacted much but.. this..' her eyes glanced at their connection, she could feel everything from him. How much he truely wanted and needed her.

"Please.. give into me, my love.. my syulang.." he said gently, and she felt as if a fog clouded her mind, blinding her from the tragic situation she was truely in. "Neteyam.." she huffed out, and slowly he let her wrists free, and hesitantly she wrapped them around his neck. He stopped his hips and removed her legs, wrapping them around his waist, then keant to where they bare chests where touching and began move and a medium but hard pace, making her moan out, tilting her head back.

"See how... how good that feels..?" He groaned out, letting a soft moan excape his own lips, and she nodded slowly, her tail that was once wagging like crazy, now relaxing on the grass. Her ears that were pinned to her head, how droopy and adorable. "See? You've always belonged to me.. you just never realised.." he said, and began to kiss her sensually, passionately. They both felt their highs approching and she moaned into his mouth, him swallowing down her noises gratefully.

"I'm going to make sure the entire clan.. the entirety of pandora knows your mine.. you will carry my seed in you.." he said and her eyes widened slightly, but he quickly settled her. "We will be together forever.. a little family of our own.." he smiled at her and she relaxed again, the pleasure becoming overwhelming as he reached one hand down and began rubbing the pad of his finger over her clit, rubbing nice circles, simulating her more and soon her legs began to shake, making his breathing heavily as she slowly clenching on him.

He felt her getting tighter, and his own regions begining to need a release. "Thats it, pretty girl.. come on, you can do it.." he urged, praising his mate who who cried out, tossing her head back against the grass and after a few more thrusts, he placed his head down on her chest, moaning out as he released inside her, feeling their liquids mixing. "You will carry my love for you.." he placed his hand on her stomach. And you are..." he kissed up her body, then to her lips.

"𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦... forever Y/n.".

[runraerun]

Read below the cut or on AO3 <-

Part 1 is here <-

(*Please heed the updated warnings before reading. Billy is not the nicest guy in this chapter. But remember: Angst with a happy ending. We’ll get there!)

Chapter Summary:

It becomes a thing.

Eddie can barely believe it.

He doesn’t know which Gods he accidentally sacrificed what to, but hooking up with Billy fucking Hargrove becomes a regular thing.

He’d track Eddie down—at his house, maybe at their spot in the woods, or sometimes even at a party—and drag Eddie off to some secluded area to have his way with him. They’d smoke together first, sometimes Billy would drink too if he brought his flask, and then they’d mess around to chase the high.

Eddie can’t remember ever being this happy.

Added Warnings:

• BIG content warning for violence, bordering on DV between romantic partners here. Billy is not nice in his fic (at least right now he isn’t), but I don’t plan on going any darker than this.)

• Deeply delusional thinking.

• Parental death mention.

• and of course, it’s rated E for smut reasons.

If you can handle all of that; enjoy!

—

It becomes a thing.

Eddie can barely believe it.

He doesn’t know which Gods he accidentally sacrificed what to, but hooking up with Billy fucking Hargrove becomes a regular thing.

He’d track Eddie down—at his house, sometimes at their spot in the woods, or even at a party—and drag Eddie off to some secluded area to have his way with him. They’d smoke together first, sometimes Billy would drink too if he brought his flask, and then they’d mess around to chase the high.

Sometimes Billy would pay Eddie, but he doesn’t make a habit of it. They have an understanding though; something that doesn’t need labeling or overthinking. It’s the kinda shit that’s beyond words.

And it isn’t like Eddie’s getting ripped off or anything. Hell no. Eddie’s getting some top level experiences with Billy, sex-wise. He’s pretty sure, anyway. He’s not exactly an expert, but Billy sure as shit seems to be. So if Eddie’s gotta sacrifice a few grams here and there to get some one on one time with the face-melter himself—yeah, Eddie’s gonna take it. He’s gonna sink his gay little claws into that hunk of man meat and hold on for dear life, praying he’ll make it out the other side in one, unbroken, lightly tenderized piece. Hell yeah, he’ll take that trade any day of the week.

Like right now. He could be making cold hard cash upstairs, but Billy had gotten to him first—and that shit takes precedence. They both showed up to this lame house party with a bunch of recently graduated dick-wads, all celebrating their shiny new acceptance letters and even shinier futures by buying fistfuls of pills from Eddie and washing ’em down with cheap beer.

But not Billy. Not Eddie either. No, when fall rolls around, they’re not going anywhere.

Eddie, ‘cause he’s gotta repeat the fucking twelfth grade again, and Billy because he’s almost as broke as Eddie is. Billy’s smart but he’s not full-ride on a scholarship smart.

The world moves, but they remain.

Eddie’s hips move too. Rutting up against the hard rubber sole of Billy’s boot, the ever increasing pressure of it sends shockwaves of pleasure directly to his denim-trapped dick.

Billy’s standing over him, sucking back on one of the joints Eddie’s rolled especially for him while Eddie’s on his knees, with a death grip on Billy’s shin. Eyes locked onto those baby blues, trying his fucking hardest to keep from making any noise. An almost impossible task when Billy’s gone ahead and made a fist in the back of Eddie’s hair, pulling it right where it feels good.

They’re in some kind of a cellar. The walls are lined with cans and jars and shit, with bare concrete for a floor. It’s cold. And of course his jeans have holes right at the knees, so second by second, he can feel the stone slowly leech the heat away from his body. But Eddie doesn’t care. Billy and him make do with whatever spot they carve out for themselves. Eddie’s not some chick that’ll demand a nice hotel room or candles or whatever—nah, he takes Billy where he’s at. That’s why Billy likes him. That’s why he keeps coming back.

It’s not always like this—sometimes they’re in the back of Billy’s car, or in the staff washroom at the Hawkin’s Pool, where Billy works. Sometimes Billy will even sneak into Eddie’s bedroom through his window, not say a word, and crawl into his bed. Those nights are Eddie’s favorite. Billy’s already drunk, usually, so he lets himself relax. They kiss each other until their mouths go dry or until one of them falls asleep. He’s gone before the sun is up, but Eddie gets to wake up to sheets that smell like Billy’s spicy, expensive smelling cologne. It’s gross, but he doesn’t change his sheets for weeks after.

The pull-switch from the single, flickering bulb above them is resting against Billy’s shoulder, wriggling around like a snake that’s in the midst of getting charmed. It’s the same silver as his dangling earring, along with the rings on Billy’s thick fingers. Silver suits him. Which makes sense, seeing as his skin already looks golden.

Fucking gorgeous. Like a movie star.

“You gonna cum sometime tonight, Munson?” Billy mutters around his cigarette, briefly pulling his hand from the door knob to pluck the joint from his lips. He flicks the ash off the end, exhaling in a great cloud of white smoke, before putting it back between his lips and re-securing the door, “I got shit to do.”

He sounds bored. Uninterested. But Eddie can see from the hard outline in his pants that he’s anything but. Billy likes to play this game. Like to act like he’s not enjoying himself when he very clearly is. Sometimes he lets it slip—let’s Eddie see. The walls go back up pretty rapidly after that, though. So quick it makes Eddie’s head spin sometimes.

But Eddie likes what he sees when it does happen. It feels forbidden. Something sacred—something none of the girls that Billy fucks gets to see. Because Eddie’s special.

“H-harder,” he sputters, feeling hot and cold all at once, like he’s got a fever, “just a little—yeah, yeah, that’s—Jesus, yeah, that’s perfect, Billy.”

A smirk tugs at the corners of Billy’s mouth as Eddie writhes up against the bottom of his boot. Billy leans forward a little more, putting his weight down on Eddie, pushing past the line, until Eddie can’t take it. He cries out. Whimpers, really. It isn’t that loud, but it’s enough for Billy to pull his hand free from Eddie’s hair and give him a quick, opened palmed smack against the cheek.

“Shut up,” he growls.

The sharp, sudden sting of it is always enough to re-center Eddie. To get him back in line. Billy never hits him hard enough to leave a mark, (though sometimes Eddie wishes he would) no, what Billy gives him is love taps. Reminders.

The hand that just slapped him is now over his mouth, strong fingers digging into the corners of his jaw to ensure his silence.

Eddie knows that Billy could seriously hurt him, but he doesn’t. All he ever does is make Eddie feel good. So fucking good…

The threads of pain and pleasure within him are plucked simultaneously, both reaching the same frequency in tandem. Eddie lets its harmony vibrate in his chest. He usually feels so goddamn hollow, but the sounds don’t echo tonight. Because when Billy’s holding him like this, Eddie is full. No more empty spaces. His cup overfloweth.

Tears form along the rim of his eyes from the pain, blurring his vision. He tries to keep his eyes open for as long as he can, but eventually he blinks, sending the tears streaking down his cheeks, onto Billy’s fingers.

Billy’s breathing goes a little ragged, and the hand holding the door securely shut is suddenly on his crotch, palming himself roughly.

Fuck, that’s hot.

So hot that Eddie’s eyes roll back in his head and he’s shooting a hot fucking load in his pants, hips stuttering up against Billy’s crushing weight. He’s panting through his nose, savouring the bond between him and Billy. Feels it strengthen with each pounding beat of his heart.

His head goes swimming, basking in a sea of freshly released feel-good chemicals his brain’s cooked up especially for him. Billy lets his hand slip from his face, but he leaves behind what feels like a brand in his wake. Eddie’s a marked man, even if he’s the only one who can see it.

His mom used to talk to him about things called soul-ties before she died. How you anchor parts of yourself to every person you make love to. So be careful who you choose, baby boy, she warned.

Eddie doesn’t think his mom would like Billy very much. Not at first, anyway. Not until Eddie explained to her what the things he did actually meant. How he made Eddie feel. How Billy Hargrove was hard and gruff on the outside, but that Eddie had peered through the veil—had spotted the secret soft side that Billy keeps so heavily guarded. He would explain to his mom how day by day, Eddie can feel the cracks widening. Like a dandelion pushing its way through concrete, until it reaches sunlight. Because what other option does it have? It’s that or shrivel up and die in the dark.

Eddie reaches up to touch between Billy’s legs, only to get his hand shoved away.

“Don’t,” Billy says firmly. He stubs out the roach out on top of one of the jars of pickled beets.

“Why not?” Eddie asks, eyes darting towards the door. They’re still alone. The basement was dark and downright creepy. Eddie doubts anyone from the party will be coming anywhere near the cellar door.

Billy doesn’t answer him. Just readjusts himself in an attempt to hide it. It’s still noticeable as fuck. “You had some good shit tonight, Munson.”

“Thanks,” Eddie murmurs, still a little light headed. He flinches when Billy sticks a hand in front of his face, blinking at it stupidly until he realizes it’s an offer to help him up. He takes it.

“Might come by your place this weekend. Get some more,” Billy licks his lips between his words. Not trying to be seductive, just… twitchy. Amped up. Probably from getting blue balled. “You gonna be around?”

Eddie nods, “Yeah, I’ll be home. My uncle’s working nights so… I’ll leave the porch light on for you?”

Billy ducks his head when he too nods, focusing his attention on his pants again. He probably wouldn’t have such a hard time hiding his stiffy if his jeans weren’t so goddamn tight.

…But then Billy’s jeans wouldn’t be so goddamn tight, and that’s a reality Eddie has absolutely zero interest existing in.

“Let me suck you off,” Eddie murmurs, keeping his voice low, barely above a whisper. Doesn’t wanna spook Billy. For someone that’s mostly made of hard muscle, he sure is a timid thing. Eddie didn’t know someone could be both fight and flight at the exact same time. “I want to,” Eddie adds with a tilt of his head, trying to catch Billy’s eye.

Billy gives a laugh that stays at the back of his throat. “Yeah, I bet you do.”

“So let me,” Eddie smiles as he takes a half step forward, not bothering to try and hide his eagerness.

The thought looks like it’s rolling around Billy’s head. Considering the proposition. Blue eyes meet brown. Eddie’s heart flutters.

“Maybe next time.”

Next time.

The hollow feeling in his chest comes back, and Eddie feels the smile slip from his face. His chin starts doing something weird too.

It’s always next time.

Never—

“Don’t pout,” Billy groans, like Eddie’s being annoying for spiralling down a tunnel of self-loathing. He slots a hand against the side of Eddie’s face, using a thumb to trace the ridges of his mouth, “your lips don’t look half as pretty when you do that.”

Eddie leans into the pout, just to push back against Billy. It just makes Billy chuckle, so of course fireworks start shooting off in Eddie’s head. Making Billy laugh was a rare feat. Not just anyone can do it. But Eddie’s special.

Billy grins, a flash of canines. “C’mon man, I thought we were having fun.”

Eddie sucks in a quick breath, frustration boiling over, “I just… I just don’t get why you won’t ever let me return the favour—it doesn’t gross me out or anything. I like it! And, just so you know, I don’t care if you’re like, small or anything, I won’t judge, I just—“

In an instant, that hard-won smile on Billy’s face twists into something ugly. Furious.

The air shifts, and Eddie’s back is slammed against the many shelves along the wall. A jar of pickled something goes careening off the ledge and shatters next to their sneakers. It stinks like vinegar. Makes his eyes water.

Billy’s got a hand around Eddie’s throat, the one that was just cradling his face, now holding him in place. The pressure quickly builds in his temples, and he wheezes in an attempt to pull a panicked breath in. His spent dick twitches in his jeans, which—fuck, of course Eddie gets off on this. Jesus Christ he really is one broken son of a bitch.

“I’m not,” Billy leans in, speaking between clenched teeth, agonizingly slow, “small.”

Some suicidal part of Eddie’s impulse-control-deficient brain opens his mouth to mutter something about a gentleman protesting too much, but thankfully he can’t seem to make anything more than a few wet sounding choked noises.

A beat passes where nothing happens except the corners of Eddie’s vision start to go a little wonky. Darkness creeps in, framing Billy, making his blue eyes seem sort of electric. Eddie digs his nails into the meat of Billy's forearm, waiting for him to snap out of it.

He does. Like a rubber band, time snaps back into motion. Catches up with his Cali boy.

Billy yanks his hand off of Eddie’s neck like it had been burning him and he’d only just realized. He opens his mouth, his eyes gone wide and wild, but nothing comes out. Instead, he just gets this look on his face after he knows he went too far. A look that shaves nearly a full decade off of him, making Billy look eight rather than eighteen.

“It’s okay,” Eddie croaks out, getting ahead of Billy before he spirals, “m’not hurt, see? It’s okay.”

It’s only half true, and Billy can tell, because the next second Eddie has a coughing fit. Like his throat’s trying to reset itself. When he’s finally caught his breath and wiped the spit from his mouth with his shirt sleeve, Billy’s still staring over at him through the eyes of a scared little kid.

“I’m fine,” Eddie insists, but Billy just… looks at him. His hands clenched up into fists by his hips. Frozen.

It’s only when Eddie risks reaching for him that he seems to remember how to move. He backs away a step, blinking rapidly, like he’s trying to reorient himself.

“Wait… wait here for twenty minutes after I go,” he begins, words shakey at first before he seems to remember that he’s Billy fucking Hargrove, and that Eddie’s just… well, Eddie’s just lucky to be here. “Then leave through the basement door, got it?”

The cellar gets colder with each passing second, and Eddie’s sure it’ll drop another few degrees when Billy leaves, taking his body heat and golden skin with him. Eddie pulls his arms around himself, tucking his hands in his pits to try and keep ‘em warm.

“Got it,” he mutters from his sore throat, his hollow chest. He worries his bottom lip.

Billy usually goes. He doesn’t make a habit of hanging around after he’s made it clear he’s finished. Not one for long goodbyes, his Billy.

But he doesn’t go. He hovers. Sways a little, like he’s trying to gather momentum to make his move. Eddie wonders if he’s thinking of ways to try and fix something that doesn’t need fixing in the first place. Because Eddie isn’t fragile; you can’t break something if it’s already broken.

“I really am okay,” Eddie reiterates quietly, with a shrug of a shoulder, “don’t worry about me, man. I’m tougher than I look.”

Resilient, his mom called him. Like a stubborn little weed, she teased. It’ll serve you well when I’m gone.

Eddie hated it when she had talked like that, but now that she really was gone and those words are all he’s got left of her, he runs them through in his head, over and over, re-committing them to memory like prayers to saints.

Eddie feels the air shift around him as Billy takes a step back into Eddie’s personal space. He reaches forward to fix something that’s apparently gone askew with Eddie’s hair, then his hands move down to Eddie’s collar, straightening it up. Like he’s tidying up a mess before he leaves.

Then, like he just can’t help himself, Billy leans forward and captures Eddie’s mouth with his. Some nights Billy’s kisses are soft and gentle. Tonight they’re hungry, and eager. They’re the kind of kisses that make you go weak at the knees and stiff at the nipples.

Billy opens his mouth, and Eddie follows suit. Their tongues glide against one another’s, tasting, drinking from each other's mouths. The scratch of Billy’s stubble is nearly enough to get him hard again.

But just as quickly as it starts, it’s over. In one fluid motion, Billy pulls away, swings the cellar door open and disappears through into the darkness, getting gobbled by the darkness.

Eddie reaches up and touches his lips as they slowly pulls into a smile, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest.

Forgiving, his mom had also called him. Another compliment.

Maybe a little too forgiving, she added, and he remembers how her big brown eyes that he’d stolen from her went all soft and watery. Eddie knows how much she hated crying, but near the end she seemed to do so damn much of it. Impending death will do that to a person, he supposes.

I’m sorry I won’t be there to protect you, bug. You’ll have to learn to protect yourself, her voice echoes in his head.

No, Eddie’s mom wouldn’t have liked Billy.

But, unfortunately, Eddie loves Billy. More than he knows he should. More than what’s healthy. He feels anchored to Billy.

Soul-tied.

He smokes a cigarette while he waits the twenty, then leaves via the basement door, just like Billy told him to. No one’s the wiser.

He should feel like shit. Guilty, maybe. Or dirty, at the very least.

But all Eddie can think about is this weekend, about the next time he gets to see Billy. All he can think about is next time.

Next time.

As he gets in his van, puts her in reverse, but when checks his rear view, he goes rigid. Brown eyes that look so much like his mom’s stare back at him.

There’s a shock of bright red where there would normally be white stained across his left eye. A burst blood vessel. That must’ve been what Billy got so spooked over.

He blinks, but the red doesn’t clear up no matter how many times he does it. They just go watery, and eventually he has to look away.

He hated seeing her cry.

…Sorry, mom.

—

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[kflixnet]

Check out our member SMT's oneshot!

Feelings, Feelings

group : ateez

pairing : wooyoung × reader (platonic)

genre : oneshot, hurt/comfort

wc : 1.4 k

warning : shitty friends lmao

a/n : requested by anon

buy me coffee ?

You were not in the best mood and it showed.

The people who woukd usually greet and talk to you seem to avoid you because you looked like you didn't want to be bothered. If the look on your face didn't give it away, your hastened pace and rigid body language absolutely did.

See, you weren't having a bad day. You were actually on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It all started about a week ago when your group of friends talked about going for a night out, bar hopping or clubbing or something and they talked over you completely. One person actually had the decency to ask your opinion directly while the others only said things like 'oh she wouldn't like that' 'that's so not (y/n)' 'she'd just be in the corner being a bummer' and more. While you do realize they were just joking around and trying to be funny, it hurt you that they'd just talk FOR you. Sure, you really didn't like their plans but it HAD been a while since all of you met up and hung out.

So imagine your surprise to see your friends posting a picture of their drinks on their social media accounts.

You stood frozen in the middle of the grocery store when you saw one of their Instagram stories and you even had to sit in a corner as you scroll through your group chat that had been practically dead for 2 days, wanting to see if you missed any updates because as far as you know, they were only talking about a plan and not making actual plans. Now you know why those bitches were so fucking silent.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't 703," Wooyoung called, snickering to himself as he sidled up next to you who was waiting for the elevator. Usually, you wouldn't mind the younger guy because you had been used to his voice. How can you not? The first day you saw him was when he moved in for college. You had just finished your first week of internship and he had accidentally bumped into you. Literally, he dropped a thermos on your foot which prompted you to cry in front of a very confused and panicked 17 year old Wooyoung. Though he was unsure, he sat his boxes aside and just sat there while listening to you rant about how he shouldn't grow up, get out of college, and just go back to his parents' house because working and being independent was so overrated. Rather than focusing on how you were spewing your guts to a complete stranger, Wooyoung was more focused on why a 20 year old sounded like she had gone through 4 divorces and a public scandal.

It was odd how you were able to be vulnerable with him and it was even more odd to find him in front of your door that night with two packs of ramyeon and a huge grin on his face. He confessed he had bothered approximately every apartment on floors 1-6 and half of floor 7 looking for you because he wanted to make sure you were okay. You should've been embarrassed that a guy who's practically a child had to come and comfort you but you didn't. He made you feel comfortable.

Unlike now.

"Go away Wooyoung, I'm not in the mood," you sighed, shifting the grocery bags in your hands slightly. Wooyoung didn't listen, however, instead, he leaned his shoulder on the wall and ducked his head to meet your eyes which you avoided, "I thought you would've been busy with your friends tonight or something. I had to rethink of a new plan to make a move on you!" He teased.

The mention of your friends and hanging out, your blood boiled and your grip on the grocery bags tightened. "Wooyoung," you warned, jaw tightening as you felt your eyeballs burn. "I'm just saying, I thought my sexy little noona would've been out and about," he grinned innocently (despite the words he used).

You dropped your grocery bags and turned around, making way to the stairs. "Whoah, wait!" Wooyoung grabbed your hand and turned you around, "What's wrong?" He said with furrowed eyebrows, genuinely confused as to why you acted that way. He was even more confused when you yanked your hand off his grip and saw tears welling in your eyes.

"You can seriously shove whatever it is you think of me down your throat, Wooyoung," was all you said before you trodded upstairs to your floor.

It was a mistake for you to do that because once you finally made it, you were panting and the blurriness in your eyes was not only caused by your tears but also from the exercise. So you weren't sure if the sight of Wooyoung in front of your apartment was real or a hallucination. He even had your groceries in his hands.

"Go home, Woo," you sighed, sniffling as you fumble for your keys in your bag. This time he wasn't as vocal, only shrugging until you opened your door and slipped in together with you despite your clear expression of annoyance but you still let him in. You both were silent as you removed your shoes and settled your things, Wooyoung helping put things away which was how he noticed you buying your favourite cereal and milk, a comfort "dinner" for whenever you felt like your life was on the verge of tipping into pure chaos and you just don't have any time and energy to give a fuck about crap like dinner. "I'm not going to entertain you, Woo," you stated, voice cracking slightly as tears welled up in your eyes again all the while you tried to busy yourself by putting things away.

You hadn't noticed it initially but when you turned to kick him out again, you saw him with a bowl of your cereal and a soft smile on his face. "If what you need is me out, then I will go but not until I see you eat," he stated, putting the bowl on your counter and sauntering over to pull you so he could sit you down to eat.

In your head, you knew how ashamed you were for needing Wooyoung who's around 3 years younger than you to take care of you. But it felt nice to be tended to for once. Amongst your friends who were around the same age as or older than you, you were always expected to keep things together because they don't really have the time or energy to deal with what they labelled as "personal bullshit". Or maybe they're just a bunch of bitches dressed in fake prada and cheap jewellery that were slowly turning green with each wear. Wooyoung had once expressed how he doesn't like your friends because of what they were saying about you to your face even in front of him who was a stranger to them but they didn't seem to care. Heck, they seem to enjoy being annoying, catty bitches.

Thinking that you weren't going to eat in front of him, Wooyoung smiled and squeezed your hand once before turning to leave but this time, you stopped him. You grabbed him by the arm and with quivering lips, you looked up at him, "D-do you think y-you can accompany me eat on the couch? I-I think I'm gonna need company," you asked.

Without hesitation, Wooyoung nodded and pulled you into a gentle and warm hug. "Can this 'company' include watching A Man Called Otto? Because San watched it without me and he cried so I wanted to know if the movie was really THAT sad or if he was just being a bitch," he pulled away just as he heard you chuckling and felt you nodding, "Only if you have a bowl of cereal with me."

As you watched Wooyoung busy himself with getting his own bowl of cereal and making both of you comfortable on your couch, you realized that it was stupid of you to have been upset to be left behind by your supposed friends. Sure, it sucks to be singled out and heard how your friends make you sound so lame. But honestly? Being in your own home with Wooyoung loudly commenting about the movies as you spoon cereal and milk into your mouth, you wouldn't have it any other way.

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@chloepurpy

[everyoneisalittlesadalittlehorny]

‘Please. Please.’ Please don’t leave. I beg, desperately. I don’t care how it looks, I just don’t want him to leave. He’s mistaken, he’s just angry. He doesn’t want to leave.

But he does.

I leave the door open for him. I’m bathing in sweet scents, shaving everything twice because he texted me at 2.00AM, asking me if he could come over. I know it’s a booty call, I know he won’t even wait for me to fall asleep before he creeps out of the house. I know he’ll pretend like it never happened. He’s been doing it for months now. I don’t care.

I just want him.

I will take whatever he’ll give me and I’ll live with it.

He cums in me, twice and leaves me on my bed as he goes to wash my scent off himself. I wrap the sheets that have soaked his sweat around myself and sleep. I’ll take him in whatever form he is willing to give me.

I know he’s using me. I know he never loved me. I also know that he can’t ever be truly satisfied without me. He sneaks away from his current squeeze every now and then just to fuck the daylight out of me. His partner can’t give him that. No matter who it is, they can’t give him everything like i do.

We all know this. They know how desperately in love with him i am. They know how he despises me but craves me at the same time. They know whatever they do, they can’t replace me. They can never give him every thing- not like i can.

It’s a convenient arrangement for them too. He hurts me, make love to them.

What all of us know but never say out loud is this- him hurting me is his way of saying he loves me.