#warning y'all ahead of time to be normal about this one

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for the way I handle consent?

slight nsfw warning, obviously

For background context: When I (17m) was around fourteen I briefly dated a girl even younger (by about a year) than me, which already wasn’t Great. I, extremely hormonal, got extremely noticeably horny during any physical contact at all, and thus the topic of a physical relationship got breached and we had one. At the time I handled consent as I was taught: Ask for permission at the start of any Activity and with every new thing you’re trying to do. We never went past petting either, if that matters.

Shortly after we broke up about a year into our relationship, the girl in question outed herself as fully asexual to sex repulsed. Which retroactively meant that even if I did get verbal consent for everything we did during our relationship, I obviously missed Something Vital and the guilt has been fucking with me for a while. My ex is still close friends with me so she doesn’t seem completely traumatized? If that counts for something?

Anyway, I have been in a new relationship for nine months by now. We’re both teenage boys and exactly as physical as one might expect, with the added difference that I ask for permission A Lot. Like. Several times in fifteen minutes. Also just questions about comfort general stuff if he’s okay if nothing hurts if he wants to change position anything really. Doesn’t help that we’re both kinda kinky.

Ive noticed that it’s kind of annoying how much I clarify and also that he‘s slightly uncomfortable with the implication that there’s something wrong with how much I want him. Also it does noticeably break mood to ask this often. I just don’t know if this is very weird or just a quirk one can deal with.

What are these acronyms?

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

A Man with a Mission in Two or Three Editions

Bob Floyd x Reader

1.9k words

Warnings: None. Fluff, Bob being a shy cutie, Rooster being a cocky wingman, a tiny bit of language

A/N: Trying something a little different after rewatching Top Gun: Maverick! I hope y'all like it ❤️

Bob was a bookworm. To probably no one’s surprise, he’d been a voracious reader from the time he was still learning his ABC’s on Sesame Street. He was always the kid reading under the covers with a flashlight past his bedtime, annoying his teachers by finishing novels weeks ahead of the class schedule, crashing into light posts and trees because he just couldn’t take his nose out of his book. Hell, sometimes Phoenix had to grab a book out of his hand and stuff it in her purse in the middle of the Hard Deck bar because he’d missed his turn at pool. The man simply loved to read.

But somehow, that wasn’t the reason he spent so much time at the bookshop he was standing in on this drizzly Saturday morning. No, that would be the pretty pair of eyes that followed him from the cash register, the ones that always seemed to sparkle a bit brighter when the little ringing bell announced his arrival.

Normally, Bob liked to come in by himself, so he could quietly gaze at you while you shelved books or helped other customers, customers who weren’t rendered speechless by simply standing too close to you. It was a smidge ridiculous, he admitted to himself. He was in the Navy, a TOPGUN graduate, someone who, despite his bashful appearance, didn’t shy away from danger. But oh, he definitely shied away from the cute bookstore owner who smiled despite his fumbled one-word answers to the questions you asked about the books he bought. Those embarrassingly one-sided conversations were the highlight of his day. His week, really. Just the two of you in the quiet of your cozy little shop.

But no, not today. Today, Bradshaw just had to tag along. “Nothin' better to do,” his buddy had mumbled with a nonchalant shrug when Bob asked if he was sure he wanted to come to the bookstore.

Now, Rooster snuck up behind Bob, who was craning his neck around a bookshelf to get a glimpse of you, still managing to look cute despite the bored look on your face as you counted change in the register.

“Guess now we know why you’re in here all the damn time,” he teased, loud enough to make Bob’s cheeks burn red as he prayed you didn’t hear. “Reading three books a week, my ass.”

Bob let out a little huff as he turned towards Rooster, gritting his teeth. “Lower your voice,” he hissed.

“Why?” Rooster continued, his smirk growing when he saw how he was getting under his friend’s increasingly blushing skin. His eyes flickered to you before he called out, “Hey, honey? This ain’t a library, is it? Do I have to watch my volume?”

Your playful eyes flickered to Bob before settling on Rooster’s smug face. “Normally I’d say no need,” you started slowly. “But if you’re bugging my favorite customer there, I might just need to adopt a noise level policy.”

Favorite customer. The two little words danced in Bob’s ears, which were currently a deep shade of red. Despite the fact that he was here every Saturday morning like clockwork- and sometimes more than that if he could manage- and the fact that you always tried to engage him in conversation at the register, Bob hadn’t quite been sure you knew he existed until this moment. He’d been so sure he was just another customer, someone who blended in with every other person who walked through your door. Surely, you had plenty of customers who flirted with you; how was he, with his monosyllabic responses, supposed to stand out?

Still, there you were, smiling at him as Rooster clapped a hand on his shoulder and gave him a little shove. Bob stumbled forward, clutching the book he’d been carrying around, and approached your little counter.

He adjusted his glasses as he laid the book down in front of you. “Just this one today,” he murmured, barely loud enough for you to hear.

But you were used to his quietness. You liked it. “That’s one of my favorites,” you mused as you took your time finding the bar code that you could’ve found in your sleep. “You’ll have to tell me what you think.”

He nodded absently, his hands fidgeting on the countertop while he watched you scan the book. “Sure.” With a glance over his shoulder, he met Rooster’s eyes; his friend held his hands up, urging Bob to say something, anything, else. “Am I really your favorite customer?” he blurted out.

The small chuckle you breathed out made his heart skip a beat. “Well, one of my favorites,” you corrected, teasing dripping from your voice. “There’s also this dog that comes in with his elderly owner all the time, and this little toddler whose mom had brought her in since she was just a few months old.” Something sparkled in your eyes as you leaned forward on the counter and slid the book towards him. “But you’re definitely in the top three.”

“What’s he have to do to take first place?” Bob didn’t notice Rooster slink over to the register, but now one of those heavy arms slung over his shoulders. “Help a guy out,” he added with a wink.

Was Rooster flirting with you for him? Bob wondered with a wince. This was certainly a new low.

If you thought Rooster’s intervention was lame, you didn’t show it. In fact, your gaze remained firmly on Bob, although your words were in response to Rooster’s question. “How can he take first place,” you repeated with a small hum. “Maybe by asking for my number?” The smile you flashed Bob would have been enough to bring a man back from the brink of death. “Himself, though. No help from the peanut gallery.”

The air caught in Bob’s throat mid-breath. Sure, sometimes women flirted with him- but really, they were flirting with the uniform, not Bob. You, on the other hand, were smiling at the man in glasses who bumbled around your shop a couple times a week and trembled whenever you not-so-accidentally brushed your fingers against his while handing him his purchases. Just Bob.

He shrugged off Rooster’s arm and stood up straight as he could, the way he did whenever an admiral or captain walked by. Deep breath, he reminded himself as he clenched and unclenched his fists. She wants you to ask.

“Do you think I could get your number?” he asked, his voice sounding unfamiliar to his own ears.

That lovely smile widened as you leaned your cheek on your hand. “Depends what you plan to do with it,” you said. Challenged, really. After months of trying to get this guy to respond to your flirting, you were making him work for this. Just a little.

His throat went dry. Oh damn. “I…” He blinked, hoping he didn’t suddenly look as small as he felt. “I could use to… call you?” Your raised eyebrows urged him on. He kind of liked it, the way you emboldened him. He wanted more of it. “I would call you,” he repeated, a little more sure now. “And… I’d ask you out. For coffee.” Oh heck, it was so cute the way you wrinkled your nose. “Dinner,” he tried again; you rewarded him with the return of that dazzling smile. “And-and we’d talk all about the books we’ve read and the books you think I should read, and I’d ask you about your store and I’d even talk about my job, if you wanted me to. And I’d take you home after and walk you to your door and-” He swallowed hard, the flush on your cheeks giving him the courage to go full-speed ahead, fast as the fighter jet he’d just been flying the day before. “And before you go inside, I’d ask to see you again and if I could kiss you goodnight.”

After what felt like an eternity of you staring at Bob, studying him, you finally let out an amused little hum. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say,” you mused, drumming your fingernails on the book that still sat between the two of you. “Promise you’ll talk that much at dinner?”

Relief flooded his chest as he nodded. “Yes ma’am.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll talk as much as you want me to.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Still holding his gaze, you reached over for a flyer advertising a book and wine night you were hosting the following week- an event Bob had already decided he’d be going to, of course- and used a glittery blue pen to scribble down your name and number. “I’m free tonight, by the way.”

Dazed was the only word to describe Bob as he took the flyer from you. “Tonight,” he echoed, a smile finally stretching across his face. “I’ll, uh, see you tonight.” He looked down at the flyer, admiring your looping letters, the way the glittery ink caught the light, your name- oh. “I’m Robert, by the way,” he blurted out. “Or Bob. Everyone calls me Bob. It’s my callsign.”

It looked like now that you had him talking, he didn’t know how to stop. And it was pretty damn cute, if you were being totally honest. “Nice to finally meet you, Bob.”

“Nice to meet you too.” His shoulders finally relaxed as he just stared at you, the ghost of a smile on his face. “Really nice.”

He probably would have stayed there all day, just taking in the sight of your pretty smile and basking in the pride of finally successfully speaking more than two words to you. But Bradshaw clapped a hand on his shoulder, breaking his gaze from yours.

“Why don’t we let this lady get back to work,” he suggested with a shit-eating grin, “and I help you figure out where you’re taking her for dinner tonight?”

Bob nodded, quickly turning his eyes back to you; oh, thank God, you were still smiling at him. “I’ll see you later,” he promised, raising his hand in a half wave as Rooster finally started dragging him away. “And- and I’ll call you.”

 “You better,” you teased, casually tossing his forgotten book to him; he barely caught it. “Because I’m looking forward to answering your question.”

He paused in the doorway, brows furrowed. “My question?”

You nodded, eyes flittering up and down his figure. “Whether or not you can kiss me.”

“Oh.” He looked down, all of his bashfulness returning with a vengeance. When he looked back at you, you were still grinning. “I hope you say yes,” he admitted, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Guess you’ll find out tonight.” You offered him a little wave as Rooster yanked him out the door. “Bye, Bob.”

“Goodbye-” But the door had already closed behind him. Bob allowed Rooster to drag him down the block a ways before finally regaining control of his steps. When he looked at his friend, he found the smuggest grin waiting for him.

Rooster chuckled and ruffled Bob’s hair. “You don’t gotta thank me,” he razzed. “Just promise me I’ll be the best man at your wedding.”

Bob grinned and shoved his friend off him. “I think Phoenix’ll fight you on that one. She’s already called dibs.” He glanced down at the flyer and book in his hands, reminders that your conversation really just happened. That you actually wanted to go out with him- and might even let him kiss you.

He’d barely settled into the passenger seat of the car when he pulled out his phone and began typing, ignoring Rooster’s knowing smirk. Sure, maybe it was a little sooner than you expected. But Bob couldn’t help himself; while he didn’t usually read love stories, he knew that he wanted this one to begin as soon as possible.

[burningember0802]

Three's Company Ch. 2

Pairing: Robby x Abbot x Reader

Warnings: sexual content (nothing super explicit but gets more than PG13), cursing (let me know if I forget anything else!)

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: I'm so glad that people are liking the first chapter! Luckily I had time this week to go ahead and crank out the second one, hopefully y'all like it! Would you guys want some kind of taglist for this fic or masterlist of all the chapters as this fic goes on?? I'm planning on having it be a slow burn of sorts, not quite sure how long it'll end up being yet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You quickly got lost in your work as you jumped into the shift, your issue with the two attendings pushed to the back of your mind. You went about your shift as normal, working quickly and efficiently, making your way from patient to patient. You were quick on your feet, much quicker than most expected you to be, especially on your first day, not letting the new environment affect you. Throughout the day you felt Robby’s eyes on you though, not allowing the issue to fully leave your mind. You caught him looking at you a couple times while you were working and when you two were on a case together he had a certain look in his eyes as he watched and spoke to you that gave you a fluttering feeling in your stomach. You tried to brush it off in your head as him just observing you on your first day and getting a feel for you as a doctor. 

Robby was impressed with you as he watched you throughout the shift. He noticed the way you were quick on your feet, quick to analyze the situation and assess the best options. You were good with patients too, having a charming and soft demeanor that put patients at ease while still showing that you were confident in what you were doing. He couldn’t help the way his eyes kept falling to your figure throughout the shift. He was observing your skills as a new resident but it was deeper than that. He couldn’t help but analyze the way you interacted with your coworkers in the ER, with him. He had a gnawing feeling in his stomach the whole shift as he was nervous about the situation between him, his boyfriend, and you. He didn’t want the one night between the three of you to cause you to want to leave the Pitt before you really even started, especially now that he saw your skills. He wanted to keep you on here, make you comfortable, and be professional about the whole situation. He couldn’t help but also want to get to know you better, to feel drawn towards you, just like he and Jack had been that first night. Robby quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind, not letting himself linger on the idea of getting to know you better outside of a work setting, believing that’s something you would never want.

The shift went by quickly due to the constant rotation of patients in the ER. The constant flow of patients kept you busy, leaving little room for breaks, but you still managed to get some small talk with your coworkers throughout the day. You wanted to make a good impression on everyone, show them your skills, maybe make some friends. You quickly clicked with Dr. Mel King and Dr. Samira Mohan especially. You and Mel quickly became friendly as you discussed the struggles of working in medicine as neurodivergent people, especially being on the sensitive side. You and Samira quickly bonded over your want to focus on taking care of each patient thoroughly and taking your time with them if needed. The three of you had a lot in common and you ended up working with them frequently throughout the day, allowing for small chatting here and there. Getting to know different people around the ER helped ease your anxiety about being there. 

You were sitting at the nurses station finishing up some charting while shift change was happening when you caught a view of Dr. Abbot walking in out of your peripheral vision. You watched him find Robby before the two of them made their way to a stairwell nearby, disappearing. Robby and Jack walked up the stairwell to their spot on the roof in a comfortable silence. Once reaching the roof they stood shoulder to shoulder looking out at the early morning Pittsburgh skyline. “So how’d it go on the shift with her?” Jack asked, breaking the silence between the two. “It went surprisingly well…she’s really good Jack. She’s quick on her feet, smart, good with patients.” Robby says with a sigh. Jack nods, turning his head to meet his gaze. “Did you say anything to her about…everything?” He questioned. “I talked to her for a second…she made me a coffee without me asking, just handing it to me. She said she had no idea, and of course I told her we didn’t either obviously and that this all isn’t anyone’s fault. Then I told her the three of us could talk more about it together later, figure out how we want to handle it.” Robby explains, meeting Jack’s unwavering gaze. “How’d she react?” Jack asks. “She said she agreed and I told her that obviously while on the clock everything will be strictly professional between the three of us and it’ll be like it never even happened.” Robby explained, his shoulders tense. Jack places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly before moving his hand to run through Robby’s dark hair for a moment, trying to ease his anxiety. “It’ll be fine…I promise…we should probably catch her and plan a time to talk now though before she leaves…get it done sooner rather than later…” Jack says, his voice calm and comforting, anchoring Robby back to reality as he runs his fingers through his hair. Robby’s eyes close softly as he lets out a groan. “I know, I know.” Jack can’t help but smirk at him before pressing a short, soft kiss to his lips. “It’ll be fine babe, we’ll figure it out. Now come on.” He says softly as he pulls away from the kiss, grabbing Robby’s hand and leading him towards the stairwell again. 

The two men walk back onto the bustling ER floor. You sit at the nurses station finishing the last bit of the chart you were working on when your attention’s pulled away. “Hey, you have a minute?” Robby says softly, leaning on the counter above your computer, Jack next to him in the same position. You flick your gaze up to look at the two men in front of you. “Um, yeah, give me just one second to finish and close out this chart.” You say quietly, looking back down to the computer to finish and close out the chart quickly. Then you stand up, wrapping one of your arms around your torso in an attempt at self soothing your anxiety. Jack nods to the empty family room before walking that way with Robby and you right behind him. 

Once the three of you are in the room Jack closes the door, giving your guys some privacy. You stand there with your gaze fixed to the ground, scared to meet the brown eyes of the two men in front of you. “So how do we want to handle this…” Jack says, starting the conversation none of you guys wanted to start. “I don’t know…” You say letting out a sigh. “I definitely didn’t expect the guys I randomly had a threesome with to become my bosses” You say, letting out a bitter chuckle. Robby and Jack could help but chuckle at that too. “Yeah, fuck, neither did we…” Robby says with a chuckle. “I mean I guess the best thing would be to just act like it didn’t happen? I don’t want this to affect how either of you treat me or my work here.” You explain, finally daring to meet their gazes. They both nod as they listen. “I know neither of us want this to affect your work, that’s the last thing we want. No one here even knows Robby and I are together so we should have no problem acting professionally around each other.” Jack explains, trying to ease your worry. “Okay…good…” You say, letting out a sigh. 

Now that it was understood between the three of you that you guys were basically going to act like the weekend didn’t happen you felt a lot better about everything. The three of you stand in a comfortable silence for a moment before Jack speaks up. “You left without saying goodbye this weekend…” Jack says, looking at you, a small smirk on his face. “I-I just don’t normally do the whole one night stand thing or the threesome thing so I guess I kind of panicked when I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep and didn’t know how to deal with the morning after. I thought it would be better to just leave before you guys woke up to make it easier and less awkward on everyone.” You ramble, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. “That sure worked didn’t it?” Robby says with a laugh. You couldn’t help but laugh because he was right, this was way more awkward than any morning after ever could be. “We were hoping to get to know you better over breakfast, but you left before we could.” Robby continues with a small smirk.

The admission that they wanted to know you more than just a normal one night stand would scared you, terrified you actually. You were never good at people taking a liking to you romantically, being too scared of being vulnerable, of being hurt like you had been in the past, that your first instinct had evolved to shut down and run. This admission on top of the anxiety you had felt all day tipped you over the edge, leading to you reacting before you had much time to really think about it. “Um…I’m sorry…I think we should just keep our relationship strictly professional…” You quickly ramble, averting their gaze the whole time, the floor suddenly being the most interesting thing in the room. “I-I really need to go anyway…” You ramble out before quickly walking out of the room, leaving the two men stunned. 

[rivalswrites]

Hi okay what if Iron Fist was dating a guy who is very affectionate :3

Iron Fist w/an affectionate boyfriend

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

I had to pull up Lin Lie’s Wikipedia page for this, obviously I'm a fake fan (⁠･⁠ω･⁠;⁠)

OMLLL y'all are feeding me too much w/these requests AND I'M THE ONE WRITING EHEHE

Scheduling this to post on Sunday because I'll be busy all weekend and school is starting back up after!!

Masterlist

Affection probably isn't something Lin is too familiar with, but not deprived of. He had a lot of love growing up, seeing as he was able to survive as a normal person up until college until life took a turn. After he received his sword, he didn't have much time to think about it- much less when he had worked to become the Iron Fist.

But again, he wasn't deprived of it. Plenty of his friends were decently affectionate, as much as friends should be. He never minded, but then you came along and the definition of affection changed for him. It went from just people giving him some kind of small gesture of their friendship to a whole other level- something he couldn't describe, a different level of love he didn't really know.

Obviously, he doesn't mind at all, he even encourages it. Never has he ever told you to not touch him, he loves it- and you- too much to try and stop anything of the sorts. And of course, you also enjoy it- because your beefcake of a boyfriend is basically allowing you to crawl all over him 24/7 with no issue; it's everyone's dream come true.

One of his favorite times to receive affection is during free time, no interruptions allowed. He just sits on a recliner or the couch and does some sort of puzzle (extremely difficult ones you've probably never seen before, and you will sit behind him uncomfortably and lean on his back. Just pure dead weight on his back, arms around his neck and head on his- watching without a clue as he worked away with no issue.

And it becomes a pattern, he's just chilling around somewhere and you crawl all over him and put him in a chokehold! (Affectionately) He loves it, your weight on him in any way is great. It's a consistent calm, like it becomes such a calm for him that HE'LL sometimes look for your affection.

But he doesn't say he wants affection, no, he's stubborn about it. He finds you and, no matter what you're doing, will grab your hand and will proceed to lay on your arm and shoulder. Usually you get the hint, but if you want to mess with him go ahead and ignore his advances, he'll scowl and slowly drop more of his weight onto you until you both fall to the ground because he is HUGE (lovingly, even if you're strong- he's stronger).

Casual affection and PDA, such as hand holding, kissing, and all the other stuff is perfectly fine with him- kiss and hold away. Though if you smother him in public he'll for sure get flustered, especially if it's around friends- at least one person will tease him for it and he knows it.

Really enjoys when you cuddle up to him, especially during the winter. Due to all his muscle and constant physical activity he just naturally started running hot, so he's the perfect heater whenever you need it. Your cold feet will be warmer and he won't mind, because it's physical touch from his lovely boyfriend.

Overall: he loves it, and absolutely doesn't mind it. Cling to him like a koala and he would go into battle like that, for he'd rather die than make you let him go.

[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 8/?

A little shorter one, but it felt right. Next one is definitely going to be longer. Still on vacation, so I got no idea when the next chapter will be, but it will be longer. Hope y'all are having a good time! (AO3) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 9) (Part 10)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn

Wordcount: 813

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

This time you get two weeks of what is blessed silence to your mind, but torture on your body before you see either of them again.

Yet again it's an unexpected location, though a slightly less strange one. You are finally back in the gym, after Evelyn giving you the go ahead. Dave had agreed to spar with you after calling her, just being a good friend, but you are working out frustration of not being able to do much training for weeks. 

Your body hurts and aches, but you hope getting to move and use it will soften it up somehow. 

It can’t hurt too much to at least try.

You need to keep yourself strong and able. You steadfastly ignore the hurt in your shoulders and upper back, the pain so constant now that you have gotten used to it.

You are just done with warming up, slowly and carefully, and manage to get your boxing gloves on and hit Dave’s sparring gloves all of three times before you are interrupted.

“You put on a show like this for anyone pookie?” You freeze mid-punch as you hear a familiar voice. Turning around, standing just outside the mats you are currently occupying, is Wade. He’s dressed in his full Deadpool suit, weapons and all.

“Dave, let's take a break, give me like ten minutes.” You address your sparring partner as you glare at Wade.

“Uh sure. You going to be okay?” You look over your shoulder, and see him eyeing Wade’s guns. 

“Yeah, nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” He nods, taking off his sparring pads before walking away and leaving the two of you alone.

“What are you doing here?” You take one glove off, dropping it on the floor in favor of grabbing your water bottle and taking a swig. Wade watches you, tilting his head as he speaks, and you swear you can hear the grin on his face.

“I was just in the neighborhood, and happened to see you through the windows, putting on the most titillating show.” You eye the windows, which are pushed high up in the ceiling of the gym. You take off your other glove and put your water down, hands on your hip as you glare at him.

“Sure, right..... Now, since you were just in the neighborhood, you have no reason to stay.”

“Seeing you, sweaty and panting, canceling your inner ‘Real Steel’? I think that’s a good enough reason.” He steps onto the mats, raising his hands. “I’m no Atom, but I can shadow box well enough.”  He raises his fists up in a loose guard, making a come hither motion with one fist.

You sweep your leg out, catching one of his, making him fall on his back with a yelp and smack of the mats. A second later one of his guns is no longer in its holster, instead it's pointing at his chest, while your knee on his stomach and your hand around his throat keeps pins him down.

“If there weren’t people around, I would shoot you right now.” You know people keep to themselves here, but you think if you actually shot Wade they would pay attention. His voice is breathier than normal as you press down on his throat as he answers.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time. Besides, there are much more fun things you can do with me if we were alone.” You roll your eyes, ignoring how you’re actually feeling better by the second. For a fleeting moment the thought of getting your hands on skin instead of his suit goes through your head, but you shake it away.

“There isn’t.” You let go of his throat to take the magazine out of his gun, dropping it and the gun on his chest as you get up, standing next to his hip. He tilts his head, staying quiet long enough that you are able to talk again.

“I’m going to go take a piss, I expect you to be gone when I get back. If you’re not, I’m going to use your own damn blades to start cutting limbs off, audience be damned.”

“I think the audience would like that, the freaks (affectionate).” He winks somewhere off to his left, towards a weight rack.

“Wade.” You are sure the irritation rolls of you in waves, even without the bond between you both.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll get out of your lovely hair.” You roll your eyes again, but turn your back on him and walk away.

—--

When you get back from the bathroom, Wade is gone. But, he has carved a heart with ”pookie” inside into one of the mats, making you curse his goddamn name under your breath.

(Part 9)

[berberriescorner]

pregnant sexs w rio

I had to sit and think of which direction I wanted to take this in. Whew, chileee! Way too many scenarios are playing in my mind. This man😩😍!

I'm going to keep it a stack with y'all. This turned into a whole-ass fic.

Sit back, buckle up, and prep yourself for the trip my imagination's about to take you on♥️. Love, comments, and reblogs are appreciated, lovelies💞.

A/N: Sexual frustration and prolonged foreplay ahead. If that's not your vibe. You may want to skip out on this one. A couple of twists and flips here and there. I hope you lovelies enjoy what I did with this♥️. Just a heads up, I really got into this one, so it's going to be pretty lengthy. Worked on it for a while. Even made a damn mood board...I couldn't resist.

One More Note: A polite, gentle reminder that I don't usually take requests. If you float something in my ask that I just can't resist. I will give in here and there. In other words, if you don't get a response, please don't take it personally.

If you missed any other ask about dad!rio or hubby!rio, they're all listed on my Masterlist under Rio Asks/Headcanons (in order). Enjoy my lovelies! Feel free to love, comment, and share🥰.

Song Inspo💜:

"Let's Go Little Kitty-Kat"

Livid. Irritable. Restless. Each one of these words perfectly describes your current mood. The kids had begged to spend their spring break with Rio’s grandmother. Marcus was spending his time off with her, and his siblings loved to follow big brother’s every move. You weren’t surprised that they wanted to be wherever he was. It didn’t hurt that their great-grandmother spoiled them rotten and gave them whatever their hearts desired. Even your sweet baby boy left his momma in the dust. That wasn’t the reason for your foul mood (though being in this big, empty house didn’t help).

You were angrily resting on the couch, a permanent pout etched on your face. You huffed loudly as your husband’s voice sounded on the other end of the phone call.

“So, you’re not going to say anything?”

 Silence.

“Mama,” he sighed. 

You were willing to bet any amount of money that Rio’s hand was running down his face right now. Were you overreacting? Possibly. Maybe even being a bit unreasonable? Probably so. Did you give a damn? Not at all. Blame it on the hormones.

“Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You’re pissed off–again? That’s two days in a row, mama. I’ve still yet to figure out the reason behind yesterday's bad attitude. Normally, I don’t let that shit slide, but I understand you’re emo-.”

“Call me emotional one more time, Rio.”

“And you’re going to do what, darlin’,” he questioned, voice laced with a hint of warning. Rio chuckled sarcastically, “I got a lot going on right now. Call me back when you’re ready to talk like an adult. Ready to get back on your grown woman shit.”

“Whatever, Christopher. You called me. Nobody wanted to talk to your dusty ass anyway. Get off my line,” with that, you both hung up on one another, more irritated than before the call.

You knew your behavior was coming off as petty, but too much pent-up frustration kept you from acting like a rational human being. You rolled your eyes so hard they nearly got stuck as you recalled yesterday's events.

You lay awake in bed, your body vibrating with lust. The day had dragged by slowly as your need for Rio grew more and more. You changed positions so many times your head scarf came undone.

“If I can just manage to wait up at least another hour. Maybe Rio will get here soon enough to put my ass to bed.”

Nope. The tiny human growing in your womb pulled you into a deep slumber. 

By the time Rio reached the threshold of your master bedroom. You were snuggled deep into the covers with pillows surrounding you. His shoulders lowered with a hint of disappointment. Rio knew you wanted him home, even if you hadn't said the words aloud. He could sense the attitude and frustration in your voice when he called to tell you not to wait up. Rio had tried his hardest to get home hours ago, but with every attempt at leaving came more matters that required his attention. He lowered himself to your sleeping form. Adjusting your scarf so it wouldn’t slip off, Rio softly pecked your nose and cheek. After a quick shower, he carefully climbed into his side of the bed, gently pulling two of the many pillows from behind your back. It took some effort, but he managed to cuddle up to you and delicately pull you into him. You stirred for a few moments but quickly fell back into a deep sleep. Your husband watched, smirking at the light snores you released.

“Night, Mama. Love you,” he whispered, kissing your neck.

The following morning, you woke up. Still horny as hell. You rolled over to find his side of the bed empty. He had been there. Rio’s side of the bed looked slept in. Your head turned in the direction of your en suite. Not a peep sounded. He wasn’t in there.

Maybe he’s downstairs. I should fix him something before he heads out. Perhaps he could eat me for breakfast. These freaking pregnancy hormones are out of control. Every waking moment, I feel like swallowing this man whole. When I’m not hungry, I’m horny. When I’m not fiending for my husband, I want to eat everything in sight. Fucking Rio. The dick just doesn’t miss. He shoots the club up every.single.time.

You smiled at your small bump, rubbing soft circles at the sides. Honestly, you didn’t mind being pregnant for the fifth time, but for your sanity (and the kids), this would be your last. If Rio wanted more babies, he had better find a damn good surrogate. Mama’s tired.

Does this man not realize he’ll have to pay for three, possibly four, weddings? Who am I kidding? In his mind, Rio probably believes he’ll be able to chase off any and every potential love interest. He’s in for a rude awakening. My dad didn’t like his ass at first. I have a (legally) pistol-toting father as well. That didn’t stop shit. Now look at us: marriage and a gang of children.

Pregnancy turned you into an impatient woman. When you wanted something, there was no convincing you different. 

In your thoughts, the bedroom door crept open. Rio’s head peeked inside. He noticed you sitting on the side of the bed and stepped into the room. He swaggered over to you, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. His voice was low, and restlessness lingered in his tone.

“Morning, Mama. You sleep alright,” he asked as his fingers took hold of your chin, tilting your head back for a kiss. His rough, calloused fingers danced along your jawline, trailing low enough to graze the outside of your breast. He smiled as you gasped against his lips.

The kiss started sweet, turning into hunger in mere seconds. You tried tugging your husband down onto the bed. Rio pulled back, pecking your lips a few times, before standing upright, hand slowly stroking the inner part of your thigh. With just a few inches, he would've been dangerously close to where you wanted him most. 

“I had to come to kiss my beautiful wife before heading out. I need to slide, mama. I’ve got a lot on my plate today. It's going to be hectic, and shit might get active. I ordered you some breakfast. It’ll be here soon. I’ll probably get in late tonight. Don’t wait up for me. Make sure you and my baby get some rest. Love you,” he said, kissing you again.

“Love you too, Papa,” you exhaled.

You watched him leave and groaned with irritation. 

It would be two nights in a row that he’d be coming in late at night. That typically wouldn’t be an issue. You had grown used to it throughout the years. The only time it became a problem was when you were in your current state: knocked up, horny, and hormonal. It was just something that switched in your brain during these times. You wanted all Rio’s attention. The need to have him buried deep inside you was high, and you couldn’t quite get your fill of him.

Several attempts to distract yourself throughout the day had failed miserably. No matter what you did, your thoughts always redirected themselves back to Rio and sex. You made one last effort to ignore the constant need to devour your husband. Turning Apple Music on shuffle, you opened a magazine and thumbed through it. Unfortunately, the universe wasn't on your side. Every song was more explicit than the previous one. A frustrated sigh fell from your lips as you shut the music off.

Enough is enough. Hubby won’t come to me, but rest assured I can go to him.

You padded to your bedroom closet, looking for a sexy little number. Slipping on a pair of Steve Madden heels, you snatched up your car keys. You set forth on a journey to Rio. Bringing him lunch would be your excuse for showing up unannounced. That reason, however, wasn't enough to prevent the lecture you received from an overprotective husband, Rio. As if that wasn’t enough, you also caught shit from your meddlesome bodyguard/homie, Mick. He escorted you into the warehouse when you arrived.

“Boss lady, you know you’re not supposed to be here,” he instigated.

“Mick, hush. I can bring my husband some lunch. Chill on me.”

“Alright, but you already know. The boss won’t be happy you're out, running around for him.”

“I went to get him some takeout. I didn’t even get out of the car. It was a curbside pickup.”

You were about to continue the debate when Rio’s voice sounded behind you.

“Mama.”

How could one little word send your body into a frenzy? You could sense both curiosity and a little anger in his tone. Mick stood there smirking at you. He knew what was about to go down. It was one thing for you to be out and about with no security detail. That was enough to put you in hot water. The fact that you were pregnant pushed his disappointment to another level.

“Mick, that thing we were about to take care of? Start without me. I need a few moments with my wife.”

He nodded in agreement, giving you a ‘good luck’ smirk on his way out. You turned your attention to Rio after the door closed. His jaw ticked as he shook his head in disbelief.

“What did I tell you about leaving the house with no security detail? You’re supposed to be at home relaxing. What are you even doing out and about? I specifically told you I’d be busy today. You know that’s code for business dealings. Your ass shouldn’t be anywhere near this warehouse right now.”

“I just wanted to bring you lunch, Papa. I needed to see that handsome face,” you replied in your best baby voice.

“Nah, that little voice and smile ain’t cutting it right now. Why are you so damn hardheaded?”

Now you were starting to get a little pissed. It was understandable that Rio was always concerned for your safety, but what choice did you have? Several, you had several. It just couldn’t wait. Yes, you were slightly irritated by his reaction, but the ache in your core grew even more being in his presence. The scent of his cologne wafted through the air. With just one sniff, you could feel your nipples harden.

These hormones are so out of control. I need this man to wreck my shit. The sooner, the better.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to plead your case.

“But baby-”

“Listen. I’m too busy to have this argument with you right now.”

Rio closed the distance between you and placed his hands on either side of your face. He angrily sighed and pecked your lips.

“I appreciate the gesture, Mama, but please listen to me next time.”

You bit your lip, looking at him apologetically. Snaking your arms around his body, you allowed him to engulf you in a hug. Wrapped tightly in his embrace, Rio caught you off guard, giving you a hard swat on the bottom. His voice was low and gravelly as he growled, “You're trouble, Mama.”

You moaned, pushing your backside deeper into his palms. Eyes drifted shut as you stood on your tiptoes and puckered your lips for a kiss. Rio’s hands caressed the soft, plush globes as his breath fanned your lips. He denied your request for a kiss. Instead, his lips ghosted your neck, and his mouth traveled to your ear. Nipping at your lobe, he rasped, “Sorry, mama. We don’t have time for that. I have to go handle business.”

He pulled away, smirking at the frown that quickly shifted to a pout.

“We can’t spend just a few more minutes together?”

“Don’t do that, ma. You know this is important. Since you’re already out and ignoring my demands, why don’t you spend some time with your best friend? Here, take my card. Lunch is on me.”

This man is so preoccupied with business. He doesn’t even see that I came here to give him a piece of pussy. For some reason, that irritates the hell out of me. Usually, he can read my body like a book. I see where his priorities are at the moment. Business must trump his pregnant wife’s needs. I gave this man four and a half babies, and this is the thanks I get? Let me take my pregnant, horny, irritated tail home. His ass is sleeping on the couch tonight, and I don’t give one fuck that I’m being irrational.

“Nah, I’m good,” you waved your hand dismissively.

Sensing attitude, Rio tilted his head back, giving you a look of incredulity.

“Look, I ain't got time for the dramatics right now. I told you I would be busy. Go home, mama. We can discuss this in the privacy of our home.”

Cocking your head to the side, you gave him an irritated glare. A rush of pregnancy hormones came hurtling towards you. Snatching your handbag and keys from his desk, you stormed out of the room. Rio knew he struck a nerve and possibly hurt your feelings. Stepping into the hall, he called after you. Ignoring him, you stomped out of the building. With an exasperated sigh, your husband ran his hands over his face. Taking a deep breath did little to soothe the irritation that started festering inside him. It also didn’t help that the idiots working the warehouse floor were ogling your behind as you angrily switched out of the building.

“Y’all got a death wish or something? Fuck you looking at,” Rio barked towards the group of men.

“I suggest you get back to work before I unload the clip in this bitch,” he boomed, walking back into his office to cool down before heading to the meeting.

“She’s almost to her car. Hurry up! Follow her. Keep a watchful eye over her. She’s in her feelings. Make sure my wife and child make it home safe,” he ordered one of his men.

Her ass is out here walking around in those tight-ass jeans. We’re about to have a heated exchange when I get home. Out here showing out. She’s over here pressing on my last nerve and still making me want to put her on her back at the same damn time. Thick-ass. Feisty-ass. Sexy-ass. Spoiled-ass. Hormonal-ass woman.

Rio’s detail only served to anger you more. Pulling into your driveway, you flung the car door open, grabbed your stuff, and turned toward the henchman.

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter. Either wait out here or take your ass back to the warehouse.”

Not waiting for a response, you went into your home. Setting the alarm, you settled in for a quiet, lonesome evening. You had hoped a nice relaxing shower, comfy PJs, and stuffing your face would put you in a better mood. It could have worked, but your husband kept blowing up your phone.

Annoyed by the fourth call, you answered icily, “What can I do for you, dear?”

Rio could hear the sarcasm in your voice. “This what we on tonight?”

“Why, whatever do you mean, husband?”

“Cut the shit, mama. Why are you ignoring my calls?”

“You were oh so busy. I’d imagine that ignoring you would give you more time to concentrate on business, sweetie.”

“You petty as fuck. Stop being mean, mama.”

His mini flirtations went ignored.

This man hasn’t seen petty yet. Watch me work, Daddy.

“What can I do for you, Christopher?”

“Oh, are we using government names now? Bet. Why are you being stubborn?”

Silence.

“So, you’re not going to say anything?”

 Silence.

 “Mama,” he sighed. 

“Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You’re pissed off–again? That’s two days in a row, mama. I’ve still yet to figure out the reason behind yesterday's bad attitude. Normally, I don’t let that shit slide, but I understand you’re emo-.”

“Call me emotional one more time, Rio.”

“And you’re going to do what, darlin’,” he questioned, voice laced with a hint of warning. Rio chuckled sarcastically, “I got a lot going on right now. Call me back when you’re ready to talk like an adult. Ready to get back on your grown woman shit.”

“Whatever, Christopher. You called me. Nobody wanted to talk to your dusty ass anyway. Get off my line,” with that, you both hung up on one another, more irritated than before the call.

Hours later, you came down from your mood swing. Guilt slowly started to seep into you. Not one to give in and apologize first, you decided it was the right thing to do. Unlocking your phone, you sent a request for FaceTime. It rang twice before being denied.

He’s probably busy. I’ll try again in an hour or so.

The next time you tried his cell, you called. It rang several times before going to voicemail. Waiting another hour, you tried again. Ringing once, it went to voicemail.

Now, wait a fuckin’ minute. One ring means he hit the “f you button.” See, now a bitch is starting to get mad again. Woosah. Fight them mood swings, girl. Fight them!

Just as you had calmed your nerves, a text came through.

Husbaeee (Papa)🥰😈👅💦: You and the baby good?

Wifey (Mama)🌎💍: Yes, we’re fine. Why haven’t you called me back? Are you okay?

Husbaeee (Papa)🥰😈👅💦: I’m busy, remember? You didn’t feel like talking earlier? Why are you so chatty all of a sudden?

His petty ass.

Wifey (Mama)🌎💍: Stop making it hard to tell you sorry, Papa. Chill on me.

Husbaeee (Papa)🥰😈👅💦: Keep your sorry, ma. I’m cool on that. See you when I get home.

Oh, okay! It’s just, ma, now? Bet.

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Rio smiled to himself. He purposefully pissed you off again. Part of him did it out of payback, but his main objective was getting you frustrated. If it had done the trick. You would be ripping his clothes off and begging to be fucked once he made it home.

Not one to tell a man where he can and cannot go in his own home. You decided against telling Rio to sleep on the couch. However, the need to be petty was vibrating heavily in your bones. You fought sleep as long as you could, hoping to wait up for him long enough to ignore him for a bit. The baby again had other plans and lulled you into a deep sleep.

Rio braced himself for whatever you had planned to throw his way. He smirked to himself, releasing a low chuckle before exiting the car. Dragging his tired body into the house, your husband entered the code into the security system. Resetting it, he headed in the direction of the bar. He filled a tumbler with two fingers of bourbon. Tossing it back, Rio let the warm liquid flow through his chest. He rinsed the glass, set it in the dishwasher, and headed upstairs. 

Her moody ass is probably sleeping.

Attempting not to wake you, he quietly padded up the stairs. Rio unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt as he walked toward your shared bedroom. He nearly made it there but stopped in his tracks. The look on his face turned stone cold, and he slowly turned his head to peer into the guest bedroom.

What the fuck is this shit?

There you were, the door cracked, and lights dimmed just enough for him to see you tucked in tight, slumbering peacefully. Your plan to ignore him may have fallen through, but you still managed to be petty even in your sleep.

You jolted awake, feeling arms slip under your frame and pull you up from the mattress. Moments went by as you willed your eyes to wake fully. Your sight focused on Rio’s angered expression, and you pushed at his chest.

“What the hell are you doing? Put me down, Christopher!”

He ignored you. Rio’s jaw ticking as he took long strides exiting the guest room. He carried you into your bedroom, laid you in bed, tucking you in. You started to explain that you were a grown-ass woman and could sleep anywhere you damn well pleased. The look in his eyes forced you to think better of it.

“I don’t give a fuck how angry you are! Your ass will sleep in this bed regardless. Go to bed mad if you want to. Your stubborn ass is going to do it lying next to me. No room for debate, mama. You mad at me? You don’t want to be near me right now? That’s all good, but you sleep in our bed. Roll to the edge of the bed. That's all the space you're getting.”

Rio snatched his shirt over his head and threw it into the clothes hamper. You did your best to bite back any more snarky responses as you watched Rio stalk to the bathroom. The door flew shut, and you mumbled, “Dramatic much.”

The bathroom door swung open. Standing in the doorway, eyes set on you, Rio commanded, “Can you stop talking? Please give me a moment of peace, ma. All that talking’s gon’ land your ass in a world of trouble. Save yourself, mama. Be quiet.”

You cut your eyes at him, sliding down into bed. You lay on the side facing away from him. The corners of your mouth pulled into a mischievous grin. Waiting for the shower to start, you attempted to remove yourself from the bed and head toward the exit. Rio's voice bounced off the bathroom walls, halting your movement.

“Get back in bed, mama.”

You kissed your teeth, “Ain’t nobody left. Shut up, Rio.”

“You heard what I said. Stop playing with me.”

Pouncing back on the bed, you snarled towards the bathroom door.

“Fix your face, ma. You’re trying my patience tonight.”

Can he see through the damn walls or something?

“Nobody worried about you, Christopher.”

“Yeah, okay. Your stubborn ass got back in that bed. Didn’t you?”

Rio wanted to wash the events of the day away. He wanted a few quiet minutes to destress, but being a little hellcat, you wouldn’t give him that. You had a response for everything. He loved you combative and keyed up, but tonight, you were laying it on thick and wouldn’t let up. Rio was slightly irritated that his plan to piss you off again was starting to backfire. Taking a few calming breaths, he readied himself to regain control of the situation.  

The water cut off, and he walked into the room, towel hanging dangerously low around his waist. There were beads of water sliding down his naked torso. Being irritated by him wasn’t enough to stop your eyes from tracing him from head to toe. Squeezing your thighs together, you bit your lip, fighting the urge to jump on him. Rio felt your eyes on him and smirked in your direction. He laid a fresh pair of underwear on the foot of the bed. Standing upright, his eyes connected with yours as Rio pulled the towel from his waist. His eyes stayed on you as he took the time to dry the rest of his body. Your vision latched onto his manhood as you watched it swing from side to side. The tip of your tongue danced across your lips, and Rio rasped, “You hungry, mama?” The knowing smirk on his face aggravated you. Not thinking it through, you mumbled, “Like you give a fuck.”

A low and bitter chuckle fell from Rio’s lips. That was your last chance. His bottom lip pulled between his teeth. His eyes darkened and held yours as he slipped into his underwear. Tossing the towel into the hamper, he crept toward you. The silence that filled the air added to the moment's intensity.

Rio’s fingers glided along the column of your neck. His digits cupped your chin, giving it a light squeeze as a warning. His face crowded your own. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smirking. Finally, you had pissed him off enough to get the reaction you craved. Wetness pulled between your thighs in anticipation.

“This all could’ve been avoided, mama.”

Rio’s thumb traced your bottom lip as he backed away. You watched in confusion as he stepped into a pair of sweatpants and grabbed his phone. Stepping toward the door, you asked, “Where are you going?”

“Thought you didn't want to be near me, darlin’? I think you need some time alone. Just go to bed. I'm not tired.”

“I’ve been alone for two days! You’re such an asshole.”

His hand gripped the doorknob as he rolled his neck and shoulders. He was fighting the urge to pounce. With his back to you, Rio finished, “Next time you want to be fucked. Just say that, ma.”

You growled in annoyance, chucking a pillow against his back as he walked out of the room.

“Your ass is lucky you're carrying my baby. It's the only thing keeping me from snatching your little ass up. Crazy ass woman,” he called out from the hallway.

You punched your pillows and got back in bed. Too upset to sleep, a slew of emotions rained down on you. First, there were tears of frustration. Then anger, followed by another round of guilt.

Why do I keep putting this man through hell? All over some dick. That’s what it comes down to. However, if he would’ve cracked my damn back, this shit could’ve been avoided. You're so damn busy you can’t slide inside me and bust a quick nut? 

You smiled, rolled your eyes, and finished your thoughts.

Damn, I’m a brat. Let me drag grumpy pants back to bed. I thought, “wE sLeEp BeSiDe EaCh OtHeR No MaTtEr WhAt,” Head ass.

Rio was sitting on the edge of the living room sofa, arms draped over his lap. The longer he sat there thinking over the day and your attitude. The more he had to fight the urge to do the things he truly wanted. Rio fisted the top of his pants as wicked thoughts of you crying out for him cycled through. His hands trembled, filled with the need to possess and punish you. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back to calm his hunger. That plan fell through as your scent flowed into the room. He groaned, opening his eyes and settling his gaze on you.

“You could’ve slept in the guest room. Why are you being extra? I thought we didn’t sleep in separate rooms anyway?”

“I’m not about to keep going back and forth with you. Just go back to bed, Mama,” he responded with tiredness in his voice.”

That pulled at your heartstrings.

Be nice, bitch.

You swallowed your pride and made the first move toward reconciliation.

“Come back to bed, Rio. I’m sorry for being unreasonable, papa.”

Still standing in the entryway of the spacious living room, you waited for a response. The room was painfully quiet as you two watched one another. Rio’s gaze trailed your body. It was just something about you in his T-shirts that always drove him crazy. He kept his expression blank, making it hard for you to get a read on him. The silence continued for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was different. It wasn’t angry, but it wasn’t happy either.

It was dominant, possessive even. 

“Come here.”

Oh, shit. Not that voice. Anything but that.

There were two types of dominant Rio. One, you had been working his nerves for. The other? Not so much. You stayed frozen in place.

“Don’t make me ask again.”

Your legs carried you over to him. Stepping between him and the coffee table, you waited for further instruction.

“Look, I know I’ve been working your nerves-.”

“Mm-Mm. Quiet. Talking seems to be your downfall, Mama.”

Rio’s hands reached up and grasped your hips.

“Sit,” he instructed, pulling you into a seated position on the coffee table.

His elbows rested on the top of his knees, hands folded underneath his chin.

“You’ve been doing your best to get my attention. Now that you have it. You seem a bit worried, Mama. It’s what you wanted. Right?”

Silence.

“Good girl. You finally learned how to listen and not talk. It’s a little shocking, honestly. You’ve had so much to say for the past two days. Now, when it seems you’re about to get the response you want, and then some. You don’t have shit to say.”

You could feel the heat radiating off of him. Fucked. That’s what you were. There were times when you would overdo it, pushing him too far. Tonight was going to be one of those nights. Pulling in a shaky breath, you continued to listen. Being pregnant, you didn’t know how he would play it. That alone sent a shiver down your body.

See, this is what my emotional, spoiled ass gets. It’s too late to turn back now. Dear sweet Kitty Kat, I wish you the best of luck, girl.

“What’s wrong, darlin’? You seem a bit nervous.”

More silence.

Rio leaned towards you, placing his hands on your plush thighs. He was so close your noses were an inch apart. He tilted his head, angling it to nip your bottom lip. Pulling back, his hand massaged your left cheek. It circled your skin as he leaned back in.

“My hands itching to wrap around your throat, Mama. You know I can’t act like this and do things like that when you’re carrying my child. I don’t take risks with my seed, and you know that. Playing with your oxygen supply is the same as messing with theirs. So why the fuck do you keep trying me,” he groaned.

“Baby, I’m-“

“Shhh.” He laid a gentle kiss on your lips. “You've been talking all day. Right now is a time for listening, darlin’.”

He leisurely rose from the couch, towering over you.

“Let’s put your mouth to better use. Yeah?”

Your breath hitched as his fingers threaded through your hair. Tugging it, he tilted your head back, pecking your lips again. Rio’s eyes held yours as his free hand dipped inside his sweatpants and briefs. Releasing and stroking his member, he hovered over you.

“You wanted some attention. Right, mama? You need dick? Open that pretty little mouth for me.”

Rio jerked your head forward. Hand still wrapped tightly around his thick length, he tapped it on your lips. Your mouth watered and instantly fell open.

“Now you want to be a good girl,” he groaned, swiping the head of his cock on the tip of your tongue.

You started to wrap your mouth around him, but he backed away. A whimper fell from your mouth. Rio held your chin, “I’ll tell you when you can eat it up, Mama,” he whispered, gently tapping your face with his girth.

“You so fucking fine. Wet juicy ass lips got my shit throbbing,” Rio moaned, bending down to kiss you again. Eyes blazing, you used your mouth to capture his thumb. You suckled it, giving him doe eyes. It was as if your beautiful orbs were pleading for him to give in. Your body was so wound up it screamed for some sort of relief. You so desperately wanted to taste him. Thoughts of him spilling his seed into your mouth had you salivating. Rio’s lips parted as his tongue did that snake motion you loved. He slid his thumb from your lips, moving it out of reach.

“Can’t even ruin you in the manner you deserve. I want to shove my dick in that pretty little mouth and fuck your throat until you choke. Damn, I want to leave you gasping for air, voice hoarse. You know I love the way you swallow the dick.”

 An appreciative whimper sounded from your lips. Rio’s eyes danced with excitement. He took joy at the needy and desperate look on your face. The rise and fall of your chest quickened as sinful sounds came from your sweet lips. 

“Look at you moaning and whimpering. That’s my nasty bitch. Does the thought of me shoving myself down that pretty little throat turn you on, mama? It makes you wet. Doesn’t it?”

You shivered and released a stuttered breath, “Daddy, please.” He smiled wickedly, “Damn, I love it when you beg, darlin’.”

“Christopher, please. I’m about to go crazy. I don't think I've ever wanted to swallow you down this bad. Please, Papa. I need you.”

A chuckle fell from his lips. Rio swallowed hard, and you could see the pulse dancing on the side of his neck. His eyes grew darker as he leaned close enough, and you felt his breath brush against your lips.

“You are so cute, mama. Beg as much as you want. The question is: Do you think you deserve it,” he whispered, peppering your lips with light kisses. The corners of his lips lifted, forming a smile as you panted the word yes. “Mm, no. I don't think so, darlin’. You've been stomping around, throwing tantrums, twisting and turning, rolling that neck for days now.”

Your impatience and temper got the best of you.

“If you're so tired of my damn attitude. Put me out of my misery already. You're the one being stingy with the dick! You can't find a few moments to love on your wife?”

There was that sinister smile once more. Rio’s hand went to wrap around your throat, but halfway he stopped. Closing it into a fist tightly, he forced it down to his side. He smirked, slowly opening his mouth to speak, “You’re letting these hormones rattle you, mama. They got you impatient as fuck and coming out of pocket.”

Tucking himself back into his sweats, Rio reclaimed his spot on the sofa. Leaning back into the cushions, he watched your face twist up in frustration.

“Fuck this. I’m going back upstairs. Sleep wherever you want. I don’t care.”

“Sit. Down,” Rio roared.

You froze, back still facing him.

“I’m getting tired of saying things twice,” Rio hissed. “Sit your ass down.”

You swung around and stomped to the coffee table to reclaim your seat.

“Not there. Come here.”

Standing in front of him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“You beckoned? Dear sweet husband.”

Though Rio wore a thin smile, you could tell he didn’t find shit amusing. Glancing at his lap, he whispered, “Sit.”

You kissed your teeth, plopping into his lap. He pressed up against you, hands gripping your waist. “You enjoy making me tick. Don’t you darlin’?”

Not waiting for you to answer, one hand abandoned your waist. It slid into your hair, tugging at the strands. The action caused you to release something Rio couldn’t decipher. What had started as a gasp shifted to a whimper and ended as a moan. The sound caused his erection to twitch underneath you as he bit back a groan.

“Why are you giving Daddy a hard time? Thought you loved me, Mama,” he teased.

Your lips parted, but he tugged more, signaling you to remain silent.

“Don’t deny it, love. I’m over here fighting everything in me right now. I know how you want it. You ain’t in no condition for that, baby girl.”

“How do I want it, Papa,” you whispered breathlessly.

Rio’s hand trailed to the column of your neck. He gave it a light, gentle squeeze. Pulling your ear to his lips, he groaned, “You want that rough shit. Need me to choke you. Talk my shit and say all the nasty things you like. Pin you down, fuck you until you cry. That’s what you want, yeah,” he questioned, nipping at your earlobe.

A smirk danced across his face at the sound of your whimpering.

“Can’t you just do it as gently as possible? Please, you begged, grinding into his lap.

His growl bounced off the living room walls. It was a signal, a warning, but you couldn’t help yourself. Circling your hips, you pressed further into his erection. Rio hissed, “Behave. You really gotta chill, Mama.”

You stood long enough to turn and straddle his thigh. His hands cradled your small bump. Pecking his lips, you watched as Rio’s eyes fluttered closed. The two of you slipped into a sensual kiss. Your hips rolled as you started to grind your moist panties against his thigh.

“Papa, please. I’m begging you. I need you. I’ll take it any way you’d like.”

He sucked in a shallow breath, grasping your chin.

“I know you will. You don’t have a choice, mama.”

Cocky motha-.

“Keep grinding that slick little pussy against me, baby,” he rasped, grabbing up the globes of your behind. “Now I know you can do better than that. Grind harder,” he finished with a smack to each cheek. Mouths collided as your fingers traced patterns along the nape of his neck. Your tongues wrestled for dominance. His palms dug into your supple flesh, guiding you along the slick spot that started to form on his thigh.

“Damn, mama. Just the sound of my voice makes that little pussy weep, yeah?”

He watched you with pride, your eyes shut tight, breathing ragged. Rio moved his hands to your breast, giving them a light squeeze. He moaned as his teeth sunk into your bottom lip.

“Go a little faster. Pull yourself toward the edge, darlin’.”

Your body rocked faster against his drenched thigh as his hand crept until it found its way underneath your shirt, pulling at the hardened nipples.

“Christopher.”

“Hmm, baby? Talk to me, mama. What do you need from Daddy?”

The words got stuck in your throat, and you edged closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy. Your head tilted back, and the mewl you released made all Rio’s blood rush to his thick member. He peppered kisses along the soft skin of your neck, cooing, “You close, baby girl? Hmm? Come on now, tell me how you feel, darlin’. Let me hear that pretty voice.”

“So damn close. Add a little pressure, Daddy. Press into me, please.”

Rio chuckled, lifting his thigh just enough to give you the desired pressure.

“That better, sweetheart?”

“Fuck,” you whispered. Ye-I’ma come. Please-.”

You started to tremble, signaling an explosive orgasm. Rio’s fingers gripped your waist, halting all movement. A high-pitched whine echoed throughout the room as you tried to power through his grasp and thrust your hips. His hold on you was too strong to fight. The teasing chuckle he gave frustrated you.

“Why would you do that? Don’t play with me like that, Rio,” you whimpered.

“Oh, you thought this was about to be easy? No, love. See where all the nagging and expectations got you. Playing with my patience had you believing I would let you have your way. Fuck that. You better work for that shit, mama. You know how I operate, and I ain’t feeling too generous right now.” He pinched your nipple, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth.

Shoving his shoulder, he fell back against the couch, pinning you with a mischievous glint.

“Ain’t shit funny, Rio. You’re pissing me off,” you snapped, pacing the hardwood floor.

“That makes two of us,” he countered, shrugging his shoulders.

“What happened to a happy wife, a happy life? I’m carrying your child. Where is the love?”

“So damn dramatic. You just knew you’d get your way, huh?”

You stopped, turning to face him. Your arms crossed your ample chest. Frustration ran deep in your mind. The two of you matched glare for glare.

Rio’s eyes darkened as he stood, walking toward you. He kissed you long and hard, backing you toward the living room wall. Your body shivered as you made contact with the chilled surface. He broke the kiss and rasped, “Should’ve used these past few minutes to make a convincing argument,” he tsked. “I don't even know if you deserve to come at this point, darlin’.”

Rio dropped to his knees, and you watched his head disappear underneath the fabric of your shirt. Heat pulsed throughout your core as you felt Rio pull fabric aside. Thousands of tiny sparks flooded your body as you felt his wet, warm tongue trail from the bottom of your dripping sex to the top. His middle and pointer fingers spread you open while the tip of his tongue danced around your bundle of nerves. You released a shuttered breath, head tilting back as your eyes fluttered closed. Without having to look up, Rio paused his licking and growled, “Keep you’re fucking eyes on me. Take off this damn shirt, and watch me eat this pussy up, mama.” 

Say less. I got you, Zaddy.

His eyes burned with passion at the sight of your breast. “You don’t need these either,” he rasped, tearing the panties from your body. Without another word, his head dipped back between your thighs. He teased you with nips and licks until you squirmed, begging for more. The pace had started achingly slow. His breath fanned your lower lips, “Look at you wiggling and shit. Are you aching for me, mama?” Rio inhaled your scent, “Damn, I’m about to eat this shit up.”

“Less talking. More licking, Papa,” you mewled, trying to thrust your heat back into his face. Rio leaned away.

“See, that’s your problem. You need to learn patience, mama. We don’t need to rush. Let me take my time and enjoy all this fine dining.”

“Truthfully, you get off on torturing me, don’t you?”

Instead of using his words, Rio answered with action. Still holding your lips apart, three fingers from the opposite hand pressed into your clit, rubbing wide circles slowly.

In a husky tone, he taunted, “Come on, sweetheart, I know you can get wetter than this.” Your sarcastic rebuttal halted as he continued, “Let me help you with that, ma.”

His words fully registered as you felt his saliva collide with your silky flesh. His mouth covered your lips again, alternating between slow, languid strokes and rapid, hungry licks. From the movement of his tongue to the way he gripped your thighs. Feeling everything at once was hurdling toward a powerful orgasm. His fingers rejoined the party, using them to fumble with your clit as he thrust his tongue into you.

“N-no, baby. Not ye-it’s too soon. S-slow down, fuck!”

Your hand wrapped around his wrist, trying to pull his fingers away. Rio swatted it as he hoisted you higher, locking his arms around your thighs.

“I thought you wanted to come though, Mama,” he teased. “Let me switch it up for you, yeah?”

His tongue replaced those same fingers, licking and sucking your sweet little nub like a man who hadn’t eaten in days.

“Oh! You fucking demon. Daddy, no,” you mewled, body starting to jerk. The sensation sent tingles throughout as your fist pounded against the wall. The digits of the other hand dug into his scalp. You felt him smile against your flesh, moaning and growling. Slipping three fingers inside, he flexed them, deliciously tapping your g-spot. The pace of his digits quickened as his lips wrapped around your abused clit, and he sucked as hard as he could. Your body writhed. The feeling was so intense you considered climbing the wall.

This bitch would go harder. I need to learn how to shut up.

Rio tsked again, “There’s nowhere for you to run, Mama. Daddy got you locked in,” he taunted, fingers speeding up a little more. “Thought this is what you wanted, hm? You've been crying for this all day. Is it too much for you, baby?” Rio’s fingers slipped out of you, and the palm of his hand delivered smacks over your lips. “Yeah! There we go! That’s that wet shit, mama.” Rio dove back in, the sounds of his mouth on your body growing more lewd by the second. All you could do was tremble and whimper. Rio groaned, his mouth devouring you. His words tickled your slick heat, “ You gon’ come for me? Hmm? My mouth got you leaking all over the place.” Your legs started to shake as his tongue lashed at your skin. 

“Answer me, ma,” he demanded, harsh yet sexy.

“Yes, fuck. I’m so close, shit!”

“Beg me to let you come.”

“Please, Papa! Let me come all over that sinfully delicious tongue.”

“I know you’re close. Look at that pretty little pussy squeezing around my fingers,” Rio teased, adding a fourth finger. “Look at these thick thighs shaking,” he taunted. Your husband took a moment to nip at your inner thighs. “Soft as fuck. Tastes so damn good.” His lips licked and sucked at the soft skin as he massaged your g-spot.

“Hold on a bit longer for me.”

His eyes glistened, and you knew Rio was about to make you suffer. There was something in his expression that just reeked of revenge. Minutes ticked by, and you were proven right: every torturous lick of his tongue was his getback. Every time his lips captured your bundle of nerves, it felt like he was trying to suck the soul out of you. He had brought you to the edge for the third time, only to slow down. Tears threatened to spill as you begged and pleaded. At this point, you were no longer begging him to come on his talented tongue. You just wanted him to wrap your legs around his waist and pound you into an earth-shattering orgasm. Twice, you had tried pulling his head away, pressing him to fuck you. Both times, Rio denied you and went right back to eating. His greedy mouth slurped at your juices, “Mm-mm, mama. Daddy’s still hungry.”

His tongue grazed your clit, causing your body to shiver with force. You cried out, “Rio, please! You have to let me come. I can’t do this anymore.” Tears trailed down your cheeks, tugging at his heart a bit. He kissed your nub once more before he pulled up from between your legs. Using the pads of his thumbs, he wiped at the remnants of your tears. Pecking your lips, his hands cradled your face. “I’m sorry, mama. Shh, I know, baby. I know. Breathe for me, catch your breath.”

How could your emotions be all over the place? Yet, every ounce of you still ached for him. Though you were irritated and pissed at the way he edged you. The need to be fucked and orgasm was still the top priority. You could curse him out later. Truthfully, you had done it to yourself. You knew pushing him too far was what brought you here. Patience and understanding had been an option that would have left you well rewarded. Instead, you had opted to try to force his hand.

I’m pregnant, horny, and a bit illogical at the moment. I want what the fuck I want, and I want it now.

Rio’s eyes locked with yours, his orbs still dark but sympathetic at the same time. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he swept hair that blocked your vision. Taking a deep breath, he leaned in, lips brushing against yours.

“I’ma stop fucking with you, mama,” he whispered, stealing a kiss.

Rio shushed your whimpering as his hands trailed back down your body and between your thighs. His fingers brushed your slit, collecting moisture along the way. His fingers slid lower until they reached the destination they were in search of. Two fingers penetrated you as his free hand tweaked your nipple. You sucked in a sharp breath as his digits tapped against that special place in warp speed.

“R-rio. Oh, God,” you mewled. “No, please. I want you inside. I need you inside me, baby. Why won’t you just-.”

His head fell into the crook of your neck as you pleaded. An anguished growl echoed against your throat.

“I can’t right now, mama. I just can’t,” he responded helplessly as his fingers kept slamming into you. “Give it to me, mama. I know you can’t hold it anymore. Come for me, baby girl,” he moaned against your skin.

“But why? Oh! Fuck! Y-yes. God, yes,” you cried, falling over the edge.

“Fuck, mama. My arm’s soaked,” he groaned, breath shallow, as he trailed kisses down your neck. He waited for you to respond, but the only sound he heard was sniffling. Rio pulled back with a quickness, hands cradling your face once more. He kissed you, “What’s wrong, mama? Why are you crying?”

“Are you not attracted to me anymore?”

“Mama. Don’t start. Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you? That’s a wild ass question. Please don’t take this wrong, but these hormones got you all messed up. You know better than to ask me such a ludicrous question.” 

Your eyes started to water again, and Rio threw his head back, running his hand down his face. Releasing a long sigh, “Don’t start again, mama. You’re all over the place today. One minute, you’re cursing me out, trying to push me away. The next minute, you’re on me. I damn sure can’t keep up with the mood swings today. Now I’m getting pissed all over again because you're questioning my love for you.”

“It’s a simple question, Rio. Something must be wrong since you won’t fuck your wife. It can’t be that bizarre of a question. Just admit it. I’m gaining weight (not to mention I was already plushie before), so you’re not interested.”

“What number mood swing is this?”

“Fuck you, Rio.”

“You’d like that? A fuck. Wouldn’t you?”

“Such a dickish response!”

You stormed away, ignoring his demands not to walk away from him. Upon entering your bedroom, you slammed the door. Climbing under the covers, you snuggled down until you found a comfortable spot. He didn’t immediately follow you upstairs. Sinking back into the couch, he tried to calm his temper. 

Rio’s mood/urge was why Y/N hadn’t gotten what she wanted in the first place. He was right back to being as pissed as he was earlier. It was all the more reason to stay where he was until he could calm himself. During the first round of this sexually charged argument, it had taken every fiber in him not to fuck you relentlessly. No matter how bad you both wanted it. He wasn’t comfortable with manhandling you at a time like this.

He tilted his head back against the cushions and chuckled to himself. Looking back over the day, you had been a pain in the ass. However, Rio loved that you were adamant about getting what you desired.

The fact that she thinks there’s a way for me to be gentle and rough in that sort of head space is laughable. I love this crazy ass woman.

He replayed the last of your conversation. Guilt crept in as he remembered how your lip trembled as you fought back tears of frustration and neediness while leaving the room. Thinking the situation over, Rio started to hold himself accountable. He knew what to expect at times like this. If he was being honest, having another baby was mainly his idea. That thought alone had him shaking his head and smirking.

This woman is going to drive me insane. She can’t be serious thinking I’m not attracted to her right now because she’s pregnant. If anything, that makes my dick harder. These kinks, man. Her ass knows I love her any size. Mama knows I love it when she’s stupid thick. Damn, I want to bend her ass over something. Just wait until baby girl or boy gets here. I’m going to remember every single mood swing and attitude. Like that man Miguel once said, that pussy gon’ be mine. Let me check on her mean ass. Remember to remain calm, Rio.

He flipped off all the lights downstairs and made sure everything was locked up tight. It was pitch black in the master suite. Rio entered quietly, not wanting to wake you. The faint sounds of sniffles came from under the covers on your side of the bed. Your husband’s head hung low at the sounds, shaking it side to side in disbelief. Sadness ached deep in his chest. It had never been his intention to make you feel unwanted. He certainly didn’t mean for you to feel unattractive. You had pushed him to that place of uncertainty. Rio didn’t trust himself enough to remain gentle. His anger had been raging off and on for the past two days. It was time for him to set the record straight and make things right.

Self-control, my boy. Self-control. I may not be able to choke her. Let that mouth get to firing off again. I’ma spank this woman. Lord, help me.

He approached your side of the bed, attempting to lower the comforter, but it wouldn’t budge. You grumbled, “Don’t, Christopher. Just get in bed. Let’s get some rest. We can discuss this in the morning.” The fabric of the blankets muffled your voice a bit, but Rio could hear how you fought back tears.

Rio gently rubbed what he believed to be your hip. “Don’t hide from me,” he rasped.

“I’m not. Goodnight, Papa.”

He lowered his head, rubbing soothing circles against your back. He stood there a few moments, trying to find a way to make things better. A thought entered his mind. His head leaned to the side as he gave a quick head nod. Heading to his side of the bed, Rio checked his notifications one last time, setting the ringer to silent. He grabbed an item from the nightstand, setting it to the side. Rio got into bed, sliding closer. The feeling of his chest pressing against your back as he joined you under the covers.

“You still mad at me, Mama,” he questioned, leaving butterfly kisses against your skin. “You gon’ forgive me, hm?”

“Shut up, Rio,” you responded with a giggle and sniffle.

“You know you’re crazy for thinking that bullshit, right? I love you, mama. Don’t you know that you’re my favorite person in this world? I love you for life, woman,” he explained. “I’ll always be attracted to you, no matter what. You’re my heart and world, baby girl.” Rio nibbled at your neck. “Those better be happy sniffles, he teased.

“They are, trust me. Thank you for the reassurance, Papa,” you responded, voice still shaky.

His fingers caressed your thighs, drawing small patterns on your flesh, lips peppering kisses against a bare shoulder back to the soft spot below your ear.

“Papa, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m still wet from earlier,” you whispered, lower lips tingling again.

Rio shushed you as his tongue swept across the column of your neck. “You looked so damn good in those jeans with the heels. You just had to get me hard while I was working. Didn’t you? How am I supposed to focus with images of fucking you against my desk floating through my head?”

“I just wanted to see you, baby.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

His hand slid between soft thighs, swiping at the moisture pooling between your folds.

“Always wet. Forever ready for me. Shit. Give me those lips, ma.”

Both of you tried to take control of the kiss until his fingers pulled away. You huffed, “Not this shit again-Oh! Shit,” you moaned. Not only had he placed his hand back where it was, but you felt a lovely buzzing sensation against your clit. “Yes,” you whispered.

“Been waiting for the right time to break this out. You’ve been rambling on about that damn toy, so I bought you a rose, Mama. How’s that feel?” Unable to speak, you answered with a sweet sigh. Rio’s lips connected to your temple. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughed, increasing the speed.

Between his lips and the toy, you hadn’t noticed Rio tugging down his sweatpants. The kiss broke as you mewled. He bit his lip, watching you gasp at the feel of the rose pressed against your nub while his aching erection slid back and forth against your folds. The leaking tip dipped in and out of your spasming channel. The covers kicked down to the foot of the bed as Rio’s hungry gaze drank in the writhing of your bodies. His breathing quickened, listening to your faint moans.

“I think we’re both a bit calmer now. Don’t you agree, Mama,” he questioned, sucking in a breath at the wetness pulling around his tip.

If you had heard him, Rio didn’t wait for a response. He reclaimed your mouth, sinking his thick, veiny rod inside you.

“Got Damn,” you both moaned in unison.

“That’s a good girl. Take it all, Mama. So fucking tight. Grip that shit.”

Burying your head in your pillow, you trembled, moaning repetitively. Rio’s hands sunk into the plushness of your waist. His finger sunk deeper, pressing your behind into his lap. Pumping you slowly, you felt his hips do that circular motion. 

“Faster, Daddy. Please go faster.”

“Whatever you say, love,” he answered, pulling your hair and snapping his hips harder. “The settings go higher, baby.” Shifting the rose to its highest voltage, he growled at the screams that bounced around the room.

“T-too much. Fuck!”

“No, ma. You got this. Take that shit. Don’t you want me to make that pussy feel good, yeah? Yes, baby. Oh, shit. Take it, baby. Just let me pound that pretty little flower.”

Every thrust sent you higher. Your fingers dug into Rio’s hand as you thrashed about the bed.

“You keep fucking me like this. I’m not going to last much longer,” you whined.

“You got that. Go on and wet that shit up, mama. Fall apart. Come for, Daddy. I’ll put you back together and break you apart again. Don’t bury your face in the pillow. Let me hear you come loud and clear. Come for me right fucking now,” he demanded, giving your ass a hard smack.”

“Fu-Chris! Baby,” you screamed, body tensing, shaking violently. Kisses danced along your temple. Whimpers continued to fall from your lips, the aftershocks sending waves throughout your body. Rio attempted to center and bring you back down from the high.

“You’re good, mama. I got you. Good job,” he praised. 

You couldn’t imagine a better way to end a long day. At least that's what you thought until Rio decided to take it one step further.

“I’m not finished with you yet, baby girl,” he whispered.

Rio slid out of you, laying on his back, while he waited for you to turn toward him. Your face hovered over his. Staring lovingly into his eyes, you spoke softly.

“Tell me what you need, Papa,” you questioned, stroking his jaw.

He reached for your leg, bringing it over his to straddle him. Hands traveled the length of your body, stopping to cup your breast. Through body language alone, the communication was clear. Giving him a gentle nod, lip tucking between your teeth. Rio felt your digits wrap around his length, rising just enough. You slowly slipped his throbbing length into the slick cavern. The two of you moaned in unison.

Rio sat up, wrapping his arms around your waist. You rode him slow and steady. Biting your lip, he encouraged you, “Mm, that's it, mama. You feel so good.” He wrapped his lips around your nipple, tongue circling it hungrily. Giving it a playful bite pulled a meal from your lungs. Releasing the taut bud, Rio whimpered, “Keep squeezing me. Just like that. Fuck.”

He tugged one of your hands from his shoulder, placing the digits around the column of his throat. He smirked as your eyes widened.

“I can’t choke you, so why don’t we switch shit up? You be me for a change, mama. Be rough with Daddy, yeah?”

A tremble coursed through you at the thought of it.

“It’s your body, mama. You’re in control. Ride me as hard as you can stand it.” He pecked your lips, cooing, “Are you going to ride your daddy nice and hard, hm? This is your dick. Take it, mama,” he insisted, giving your bottom another slap.

Pushing at his chest, you laid him back against the mattress. Your hand tightened around his throat as your hips circled, taking him as deep as possible. Your head fell back as your speed increased.

“Oh,” you cried. “Daddy!”

“Look at me,” he gasped.

Your face floated above his, and you started to bounce erratically. Rio’s face twisted up as he grunted your name. The hold on his throat tightened, causing him to bite his lip harder. You felt his hands spank and grip your cheeks. The two of you entered a lip lock as the headboard banged against the wall. Coming up for air, you felt him twitch inside you.

“Fuck, Mama. I’m about to nut. Is that what you want, baby? Do you want to be filled up? Yeah, I know you do, darlin’. F-fuck! Come with me, mama! Right now!”

You both plummeted over the edge, calling out each other’s name. Trying to keep balance, your hands rested against Rio’s chest. He sat up, pulling you into an embrace. Leaving kisses all over your face, you giggled breathlessly. His arm reached around your waist, guiding you to lie down comfortably.

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Stay right here. I got you, mama.”

Rio disappeared into the bathroom, returning moments later with a warm towel. With the aftercare complete, he quickly got himself together. Making his way to the kitchen, Rio returned with a glass of ice water for you.

“Drink up. You need to replenish, ma.”

“Thank you, Papa. What about you, though?”

“Drank it downstairs, " he responded, cuddling up to you.

“So we’re switching roles now? Is that what we are doing,” you teased.

Rio’s laugh bellowed throughout the room. “Listen, ma. You’re little thirsty ass needed that rough shit. I figured since I’m not doing that right now. You can get your fix if I relinquish a little bit of that power. Temporarily, of course.” He gave your shoulder a playful bite. “You should know I’m keeping tabs for the remainder of this pregnancy.”

“Tabs? What tabs?”

“I’m keeping a mental log of every time you act up. The moment the doctor clears you. That thick ass will be stinging, and you won’t be able to walk straight for a few weeks. Maybe a month,” he shrugged, nonchalance written on his handsome face. His eyes reduced to slits, “Breath play’s about to be a beast for you, mama. Hate it for you.”

“No, you don’t, liar.”

“You said it. Not me,” Rio shrugged.

He felt your fist collide with his arm.

“Aye, chill out now. You know what, let me put this shit in my notes. What is this? That makes at least eight offenses. For the day alone.”

“Whatever. Goodnight, crybaby.”

“Says the woman that’s been crying all night.”

“Don’t piss me off again, Rio. Go to sleep. Keep in mind that you won’t be leaving for work on time. I can tell that I’ll be just as needy in the morning. Have my dick ready.”

“Just admit that you only want me for my body,” he teased.

You kissed your teeth and mugged his forehead.

“Aye! Chill. Where my kisses at?”

Rio pulled your leg over his waist, cradling your bump, and kissed you goodnight.

What did y'all think about that roller coaster? Hope you enjoyed it. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, lovelies 💕!

lovelies💕:

@darqchilddaydreamz @4everbrookemarie @fineanddandy @rio-reid-whoreee @novaniskye @that-one-anxious-mango @1andonlytashae @blkbutterfly816 @lovedlover @vanityinvenus

@librarian1002 @banana123pudding @fezcosonlylove @sunshine-flower @invisiblegiurl

@astoldbychae @amorestevens @starrynite7114 @alertyoulikeitsamber

[aurumalatus]

YOU ARE THE ONLY THING

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ (THAT'S EVER MADE SENSE TO ME)

wc. 5k chapter warnings. angst, cursing chapter summary. the memory of you haunts kinich wherever he goes, a perpetual existence in his life. but when he sees you again by chance, he takes the opportunity to try to right his wrongs. author's note. the first chapter of many...this is gonna be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, a lot of stupid mistakes and forgiveness and moving on and all that good stuff. pls lmk what y'all think! reblogs/interaction highly appreciated!

masterlist | next ↣

MAYBE WE DON'T TALK ENOUGH. [1]

The graduation ceremony had been lovely, Kinich is sure.

If he had actually been paying attention to any of it, he might’ve even had fun. The field had been decorated with an array of balloons and flowers reflecting your school colors. Countless tears are shed and hugs are exchanged—he knows this might just be the last time he sees some of these people for the rest of his life. In a way, it’s a tribute to the childhood he’s spent here.

He scoffs, kicking at the dirt. To hell with that.

Because while everyone else had been grinning widely, proudly cheered on by their families, all he could do was stare at the empty seats in the stand. Unfulfilled promises swirl madly in his mind; the congratulations that people offer him in passing just slip in one ear and out the other.

So when you approach him, one hand outstretched as you shyly ask him to talk alone, all he can do is follow, blankly staring at the back of your head.

“Kinich, I have something to tell you.”

/

Kinich feels the remnants of you when he runs, sweat sticking to his skin and cold, biting air filling his lungs in a single breath.

Mid-stride, he zips his windbreaker to his neck, watching his breath dissipate like ice. The wind feels so much more piercing when he runs—it stings at his skin and his teeth. Fallen leaves crunch underfoot, a blanket of color over the edges of the field. Autumn always makes him feel melancholic—change always makes him feel melancholic.

Each step pounds heavy in the grass, picking up speed. His teammates know that he likes to run alone, just him and his contemplation—though Aether claims that it makes him a crazy person—and these are the rare times that he can just think.

Running comes naturally to him. Thinking does too, but not like this.

Most days, he tries to stay busy enough to avoid the thoughts. When he’s busy, there isn’t time to reflect on the past, there isn’t time to regret. Being team captain and taking as many credit overloads as he does means that he can stay ahead of the impending waves of guilt.

But when he runs, and it’s just him and the sound of his footsteps, memories of you start to creep in.

They say grief comes in waves, and he believes that must be true—you’ve always been a tide, ebbing and flowing into his life. That much was a constant, even when you weren’t. 

(Or, even when you ceased to be.)

He can go about a few weeks without thinking about you, as far as he’s tried. And he means really thinking about you, not just a brief thought relating to you, or your life, or your memory—he’s not sure he could last even ten minutes that way. Over the years, you’ve become so tightly intertwined with his being that he’s not sure he could ever untangle that connection fully.

His laptop password had been your birthday for years after you left. He still makes his tea the way you taught him, with lemon and just a spoonful of honey. Your shared playlists still haven’t left his Spotify library.

He sighs. Three years is a long time.

It’s long enough for most normal, well-adjusted people to grow out of their past relationship, or at least not be wondering about them for a majority of the day. And that’s if he can even call what the two of you had a relationship—it had been something, and it was his fault that it wasn’t anything more.

Sometimes, he just wonders where you are and what you’re doing.

It’s a sick sort of thing to ponder, especially knowing what he did to you, but he can’t help it—often, he sees you in everything.

He wishes that wasn’t the case.

A part of him wishes he could strike you from the history of his existence. Another part of him wishes he could see you again, just once.

“Sorry for calling you out here! I just thought if I didn’t tell you now, I might never tell you…”

“Kinich!”

He flinches halfway through his step, the echo of your voice fading somewhere in the back of his mind. When he skitters to a stop, he realizes it’s his coach yelling his name, one hand cupped at his mouth and the other frantically waving his clipboard. He gauges the distance between them—lost in his thoughts, he had run about 200 feet straight past the other man.

Flushing in embarrassment, Kinich jogs back to meet him.

“Sorry about that,” he pants. “Was just thinking about one of my exams.”

There’s a pause, like Coach Wayna is deciding whether to ask questions or let it go—Kinich isn’t usually one to lose track of himself, after all. Still, the man seems to land on the latter.

“Well, nice hustle,” he praises, rewarding him with a strong clap on the shoulder. “Get some water and wash up.”

He slaps a towel into Kinich’s outstretched hand—he accepts gratefully, slinging it over his neck and scrubbing the sweat off his face. 

He glances up at the graying sky. The clouds are coalescing into mismatched swirls—maybe it’ll rain tonight, he thinks vaguely. It doesn’t usually stop them from practicing anyway. He can recall a number of times that he has walked home drenched in mud.

“Already? It’s early, isn’t it?”

At this time of year, practices don’t usually end until the sun kisses the horizon, dipping and dimming. Kinich usually walks back to his apartment with his roommates at dusk, Aether’s whining carrying them home.

Coach Wayna is busy watching the other guys run, scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“We’re letting out early today,” he shrugs.

Licking over his lips, Kinich tastes the salt pooling at his cupid’s bow, lungs heaving.

“What’s the occasion?” he asks, raising a brow.

Looking out over the field, he watches the rest of his teammates finish their sprints. Aether is messing around again, trying to leapfrog over Xiao’s back, much to the latter’s irritation. Gaming seems to find the sight amusing, based on the way he whoops and cheers.

Kinich sighs, shaking his head—Aether is lucky that he’s as talented as he is.

Coach Wayna laughs, a guffawing sound that resounds deep in his chest and across the field. He’s a good-natured guy, really, if not a bit more patient than Kinich himself can manage.

“The occasion is that you guys are college students,” he explains, “and sometimes, I’m willing to let you enjoy your lives a little bit.”

A half-scowl crawls over Kinich’s lips. Coach Wayna is always on them about enjoying their lives outside the sport, just like everyone else in Kinich’s life. His friends have always been determined to get him out of his bedroom and get him participating in something that isn’t his clubs. It’s irritating sometimes, to say the least.

Kinich’s tongue runs dry, so he pads over to the cooler, throwing the top open and pulling a water bottle out to shake off the excess condensation. It’s nice and cool, a welcome sensation even when the air is colder than usual—internally, his skin thrums with heat.

He gets about halfway through the bottle by the time his teammates make it over, in various states of exhaustion. Aether is first to react, letting out a loud groan and flopping to the ground dramatically.

“Coach, are you trying to kill me?” he whines, throwing an arm over his eyes. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Xiao approaches Kinich directly, taking a water bottle from his outstretched hand.

“It’s your fault that you’re so tired,” Xiao deadpans, taking a swig and settling down in the grass. “Because you were late, the rest of us had to run extra.”

As kind as Coach Wayna is, he doesn’t let things like tardiness slide too often—Kinich’s legs burn as a firm reminder of that. Everything they do, they do as a team, which includes punishment.

“Blame Lumine,” Aether grumbles. “She forgot her keys, so I had to drop her off at work.”

Aether’s sister, as kind as she is, does tend to be a bit forgetful. But Aether is also irresponsible as hell sometimes, so there’s a 50% chance that he merely overslept. Xiao seems to silently agree, based on the way his brows knit together.

Coach Wayna has a short meeting with them to end practice, and Kinich half-listens—he’s still caught up on earlier. It’s only when Aether flicks him in the back of the head that he returns to earth.

“Hey, airhead, we’re going to Third Round Knockout,” he says, an order, not an invitation. Kinich scowls.

“You mean you’re going,” he corrects, packing up his duffel bag. “I’m going home so I can take an ice bath and forget this ever happened.”

He can count a number of other things that are infinitely more important than taking a single step in that greasy place, too. He has a few exams coming up to study for, a lab report to do, and a few logistics issues to resolve with his financial aid and scholarship. So really, he has no business going out at all.

But the thought grows more and more appealing the more his stomach rumbles. Aether seems to notice too, because he grins cheekily, slinging an arm over his friend’s shoulder.

“Just follow the sweet, sweet siren song of burgers and fries, and let it guide you home.”

Xiao sighs from where he sits on the bench, shaking his head—sharing an apartment with Aether and Kinich means he’ll likely get roped into this too. Aether goes around making his pitch to all their teammates, but most decline on the basis of being too busy or having things to do. Kinich thinks they’re just too exhausted to deal with Aether’s antics.

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” Gaming whines, checking his phone. “I have an exam tomorrow and if I don’t study and sleep, I’m gonna fail for sure.”

Aether wags a finger in his face, grinning. “You don’t have to study, C’s get degrees!”

Kinich wonders if he should step in, knowing how easily influenced Gaming can be when it comes to Aether’s lax personality. He doesn’t have time to get the words out, however, because Xiao strides past with a critical side-eye. 

“Yes, and Aether’s get dropped from their university…”

“I don’t—hey!”

“Let’s just go,” Kinich sighs, hoisting his bag over his shoulder. Aether pouts, but follows his teammates off the field. 

“Fine, but Xiao’s treating!”

/

Third Round Knockout is exactly the type of place Kinich imagines college students to like.

It sounds strange when he words it like that, considering he is a college student himself, but he means a different type of college student—the type that finds cheap, greasy pizza and boisterous laughter enticing. Or perhaps anyone who finds the showy, race car-themed decor attractive (just how much money did they spend on checkered flags?), or thinks that spending your Friday night listening to pop music from low-quality speakers is a good time.

He doesn’t mean it in a really bad way, of course. He’s friends with college students like that (like Aether), and that’s the only reason he finds himself stepping past the threshold. Still, after a long day of practice, he can’t deny that sitting down for some food sounds pretty good right about now, even if that food comes cheap and deep-fried.

“God, I’m fucking starving,” Aether moans, collapsing into one of the booths in exhaustion. He flips one of the plastic-lined menus over, scanning over the food options. “I seriously think if I have to wait another second to eat, I’ll die.”

Xiao slides into the booth next to him, brows furrowed as he types away at something on his phone. “Seems like you’re always somehow on the verge of dying.”

Though his stomach grumbles, Kinich doesn’t bother looking at the menu—the food here is as standard as it gets, burgers and fries that drip with grease and milkshakes that are basically entirely comprised of sugar. But he reasons that he probably deserves this after the day that he’s had. 

Everything had been nothing short of exhausting. He had conditioning in the morning, followed by three exams back to back, then headed to practice right after. Needless to say, his brain is running on the fumes of the black coffee he downed in between his second and third lecture.

“You good, man?” Aether asks, poking at Kinich’s hand. “You’ve been looking like a zombie all day.”

Kinich figures that a zombie is probably an apt description for how he looks right now, in his ragged hoodie and old sweats. He hadn’t been planning on a night out, after all, but he’s not one to care for fashion even on a good day.

He merely mumbles back an “I’m fine,” thoroughly disinterested in discussing what he’s endured in the last twenty-four hours. He presumes that that’s just the life of a university student like him. The athletic scholarship is good, and he does enjoy playing with his teammates, so he’ll rest and recover and do it all again tomorrow, just like he always does.

Xiao and Aether start bickering over something on the menu, so Kinich takes that opportunity to zone out.

He blinks tiredly, gaze wandering—the bright, multicolored decor is almost too much for his weary eyes. People are drinking and grinding to the music on the dance floor across the room, the bass of the music so loud that he can feel it vibrating under his feet.

Sighing, he pinches at the bridge of his nose, trying to avoid a migraine.

He shouldn’t have come today. His mental to-do list only grows longer, and staying home would’ve been a far more efficient use of his time. Perhaps a part of him had felt guilty for how busy he’s been in the past few weeks—it’s actually been quite a while since he sat down with his friends like this.

“Alright, Kinich, you lose!”

The sound of his name pulls him from the depths of his mind to find Aether and Xiao staring at him expectantly.

“What?”

Aether nods to the counter, crowded with a swathe of people. “You have to go order. You were last to nose goes.”

Nose goes? Kinich’s face scrunches in disbelief. Sometimes, he feels more like a kindergarten teacher than a soccer team captain.

“Are you four years old?”

Aether tilts his head, a challenge. “Are you rejecting the sanctity of nose goes?”

Maybe he doesn’t feel so guilty for being busy after all.

Desperate, Kinich looks to Xiao for support, but the other man shrugs, as if to say I can’t deal with him either. Arguing with Aether is a guaranteed headache, so Kinich merely groans, begrudgingly rising from his seat.

“Whatever. Just tell me what you want, then.”

He sighs as he shoves through the crowd, passing through sweaty limbs and sticky floors. No one seems to pay him any mind, and he takes a few accidental elbows to the ribs. God, he wants to throw up.

The actual line for the counter isn’t too long, luckily. There’s only one or two people in front of him. 

He checks over Aether and Xiao’s orders in their groupchat. Aether’s order is a list about a mile long, while Xiao simply wants a single combo meal. Typical.

He thinks on his own order a bit, and he’s midway through creating a mental list about the pros and cons of getting french fries versus onion rings when he looks up again to gauge the wait time. His breath hitches as he realizes two things:

He’s next in line.

He knows the people at the counter.

One of them is Childe, donned in a white t-shirt and a dark leather jacket.

Kinich knows who Childe is just like everyone else—with how much his name gets thrown around on this campus, he’d have to be an idiot not to. Being the star quarterback of the football team, he’s as close to a celebrity as one can get around here. Plus, they have some mutual friends, but Kinich doesn’t really consider Childe a friend, per say. They’re acquaintances at best.

But Kinich doesn’t really care about Childe—he doesn’t know him well, never has, probably never will, and he’s not one to worry about people outside of his concern. No, it’s not Childe that draws his attention at all; in fact, he’s in the way of it.

It’s the fact that Childe is talking to you.

Kinich sucks in a breath.

He blinks once, thinking it may just be his exhaustion playing tricks on him, but you’re still standing there, smiling up at the other man.

Though he’d known that you applied to this school, he never found out where you actually ended up going—you’d blocked him on everything post-graduation, after all. It seems like some sort of sick sign from the universe that you would be here right now.

You’re wearing the Third Round Knockout uniform, he notes dully—so you work here. But that still doesn’t explain why you’re smiling and laughing with Childe, looking entirely too happy with his company. Kinich has talked to the ginger before, and he’s not that funny. 

Childe turns at that moment, seemingly finished ordering his food, before he lights up in recognition.

“Ah, Kinich, what’s up?” he greets, patting him on the shoulder. “Hey, nice game the other day! You’re fast as hell.”

If he were anywhere else but here, Kinich might’ve actually appreciated Childe’s compliment. But right now, he can’t even remember what game he’s referring to; instead, he offers a dry, tight-lipped smile.

“Thanks.”

He peeks around Childe’s arm—you haven’t noticed him yet, too busy counting bills and stuffing them into the register. You’re halfway through a yawn when you call out to him.

“I can help the next person, please!”

Childe shoots him a grin, waving as he steps past him to leave, and suddenly Kinich feels overwhelmingly vulnerable. It feels endless, the drag of your gaze as it turns up to him, falling to his face. Pure shock paints your features.

Something unearths in his chest, kicking up with dust that stings at the corners of his eyes. 

They bloom there, a wealth of feelings that wrap like thorn-lined vines around his heartbeat. Regret speaks the loudest—it screams from where it sits, panging with familiarity at the sight of your face.

“K—Kinich,” you greet once you recover from your initial shock, a rasp. There’s an audible lump in your throat, voice reedy and thin. 

You look even more beautiful than he remembers. That’s all he can think as his brain force feeds him a series of memories—images of hazy sunsets and half-empty spray paint cans and secrets shared between chapped lips. His entire youth is nearly synonymous with your name.

His eyes draw to your neck, the bareness of it; it makes his heart ache.

You toy with the silver chain swinging at your throat, shyly staring down at your feet.

Almost in slow motion, your hand slinks up to your collarbone, reaching for something that isn’t there. It has Kinich’s eyes fluttering shut for a moment, almost painfully.

“Hi,” he starts, sound barely crawling from his throat. “It’s been a long time.”

He waits, but he doesn’t know what for. A change, in expression, in tone, in something, a sign that you remember what the two of you were, or perhaps what you could’ve been. But you’re still blankly staring at him like he’s a stranger.

“Can I help you?”

Kinich forgets about the food entirely. He just can’t get over how different you look, sound, and are. It’s a stupid realization—obviously you would’ve changed in the last three years. But somehow, he feels like he’s been the only one rooted in place all this time.

“Sir?” you repeat pointedly. “Can I help you?”

He utters your name once, soft, then inches forward, an instinct. “Listen, I’m sorry—”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you interrupt smoothly, devoid of warmth. You back away, defenses up; you’d expected this from him, clearly. “I don’t really want or need it.”

And it hurts to hear that, that you don’t really want or need something from him. Because that always used to be the case, used to be your normal—clinging to each other, wanting and needing and having each other. And though he doesn’t like to live in the past, this is one thing that Kinich is unwilling to let go of.

“Can I…still try?” he starts, hesitant. “To apologize?”

The music still pulses in his veins, in his hands, in his chest—it echoes in his ears as he awaits your reply.

Deep down, he knows he shouldn’t do this. He’d lost any right to pursue you years ago. And he’s certainly not the type to make emotionally-charged confessions in public, but he sees you and he wonders if you still remember his favorite color.

It’s messing with his head.

“Why would you?” Your tone is biting, words sharp as they’re flung off your tongue. “No offense, but we haven’t known each other for years. I don’t see a point.”

And though you’re right, the thought pains him—there had been a time when he was the only one who knew every part of you, and you of him. But you’ve changed so much, you both have, and the evidence is standing before him.

Your eyes fill with frost. His mouth grows dry with regret.

“I know, but at that time, I—”

“You avoided me for months, Kinich,” you cut in quietly, thumbing at the edges of your sleeves. He knows that habit—you always do it when you’re nervous. “Forgive me for thinking that meant you wanted nothing to do with me.”

The bitterness leaks into your voice. You’re trying to be indifferent, but the resentment still feels raw.

And he deserves that, deserves this, he knows; he’s made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you. He more than anyone knows how much he fucked up, and if he could take it back, he would do so in a heartbeat. But he can’t, and your dull eyes and bare neck are evidence of that.

“You’re right,” he breathes, then swallows, gathering himself. “I’m sorry.”

You clear your throat, looking for something else to busy yourself with—anything to avoid eye contact. 

“You don’t have to be.”

Despite your words, the misery is written across your face, like you’re reliving every single moment of that day. And, of course, you have no way of knowing, but he wonders if you realize how often he relives it too.

“Now that we’ve graduated, I just thought you should know…”

Kinich feels completely out of his element, pinned in place.

He wonders what he even wants out of this whole interaction. Your anger? Your hatred? Would it have made him feel better than your disinterest? His fist clenches.

Say something. Don’t let it repeat itself.

It’s always been his vice—he doesn’t think he’s a stupid person, but he does think he’s a quiet one. And sometimes, that comes back to bite him in the worst moments. When he thinks back on the moments he’s shared with you, he can recall so many times that he could’ve said something. And maybe it wouldn’t have saved you both, but what if it would’ve?

You’re sighing in resignation, looking over his shoulder to call the next person when he speaks, hasty. 

“If you ever want to talk about what happened, we can. I can.”

It reeks of desperation, and he has half a mind to be embarrassed, but the feeling doesn’t surface. Instead, he catches a flicker of budding hope in your eyes, a wink of familiarity that has his heart slamming against his ribcage. 

Your lips form the shape of his name, and Kinich finds his breath.

“I like you, Kinich. A lot. For a while now. And, if you’ll have me, I’d like us to be together.”

“What’s going on here?”

Too focused on your expression, Kinich fails to notice the older man sneaking up behind you, a stern frown on his face and arms crossed. You cringe at the intrusion, already struck with a sense of foreboding. 

You whip around, hands drawn meekly to your chest.

“Sir,” you squeak out, a nervous giggle escaping your throat, “I was just—”

“We’ve already talked about this,” your manager hisses, a contrastingly serene smile on his face. “This would be your third strike.”

Despair creeps onto your face, and Kinich finds himself drawn forward, hand outstretched.

“Wait, sir, please. It was my fault. She was just—”

Your boss fixes Kinich with a sour glare, looking him up and down—his lip curls into disapproval when he sees the tattoo on his arm. 

“Don’t make excuses for your friend.”

Everyone around stares at the commotion—when Kinich glances back, Xiao and Aether are watching, wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.”

“You’ve had enough chances,” your manager starts, deceptively saccharine-sounding.

He looks between the two of you, spiteful. Kinich’s heart drops like a stone. 

“You’re officially fired.”

/

“Wow, you fucked up bad.”

The next day, Aether’s unhelpful commentary is nearly drowned out in the general noise of the quad. 

Fluffy clouds half-obscure the sun above, leaving a permeating warmth and a relaxing breeze. There’s an extensive crowd of students spread out across the grass, studying and laughing and chatting. It would be a beautiful, enjoyable day, if not for Kinich’s overwhelming guilt and the irritating sound of Aether scarfing down his lunch.

And while the blond’s remarks are unhelpful, they aren’t necessarily wrong. Recounting the whole event just makes him more aware of how idiotic he had been. Kinich rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration—he just can’t stop making mistakes when it comes to you.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he admits, absentmindedly pulling at the blanket beneath him. “I just wanted to talk to her.”

After the incident, your manager had disappeared with you into the back, likely to work out the details of your termination. You threw him a last glance over your shoulder, eyes pouring with regret—whether it was regret that you had been interrupted, or regret that you had interacted at all, he isn’t sure.

“Oh, you talked to her alright,” Aether chirps, mouth full. Kinich’s face twists in disgust. “Talked her right out of financial stability.”

Lumine jerks an elbow into her brother’s ribs, ignoring his pained yelp. 

“What he means to say,” she starts, shooting her twin a poisonous glare, “is that you made a mistake, and you know it now. All you can do is apologize, or leave her alone if you think that would be best.”

Kinich thinks on that for a moment. Apologizing seems reasonable, but the laundry list of things he should apologize to you for seems to grow longer by the day. He’s not even sure you would hear him out for that long at this point.

Last night had given him a glimpse of hope, but your manager had ruined anything he had built up in that moment. 

And really, he should leave you alone. The guilt building and knotting in his chest is enough, enough that he knows that getting involved with you further would only lead to more heartbreak for both of you. He’s just not sure if he’s capable of letting you go again.

“I mean, no offense, but weren’t you the one who rejected her back then? And then, like…ghosted her?” Aether asks.

Lumine facepalms, thoroughly exhausted by trying to reel in her twin’s complete lack of decorum. It seems to be her full-time job at this point.

“It’s okay,” Kinich sighs, waving her off. “He’s right. I did.”

He’d been going through a lot back then, not that it had been a valid excuse. He’d been far too immature to be honest with you like you deserved. 

With a groan, Kinich shuts his laptop to fully focus on the topic at hand—he hasn’t been studying for a few minutes now anyway.

Lumine and Aether stare at him like they’re awaiting clarification. He shrugs, deflated.

“I was young and stupid. There’s no good explanation for it.”

“I don’t know if was is the right term,” Aether adds thoughtfully. “I mean, you did just get her fired, and that’s because—”

“—Aether.”

Lumine hisses through gritted teeth, and her twin chuckles, suddenly nervous.

“That’s because I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot and I’m going to stop talking now.”

Aether dives back into his chicken fried rice like a kicked puppy, pouting. Lumine glances over at Kinich, gauging the conflict written over his features. She sighs, smoothing her hair over her shoulder.

“Well, the choice is yours.”

If it were just up to him, he would chase after you and apologize endlessly. But he knows that his aren’t the only feelings in play here—if anything, yours matter more. So, he decides to leave it to fate.

He fishes into his bag with one hand, producing his wallet and shaking out a few coins. He holds one out for his friends to see.

“Heads, I apologize. Tails, I leave her alone.”

He swallows hard.

“Forever.”

He’s not sure if he truly means that quite yet, but he tells himself that he does. Steeling his resolve, he tosses the coin in the air. Aether and Lumine’s eyes grow wide as they follow its path, spinning and twisting before landing neatly on the ground.

“Kinich, do you think we’ll still know each other in five years? Ten years?”

“Of course we will.”

Kinich leans forward, peering down at the fallen Mora.

There’s a tinge of relief in his sigh.

Heads.

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Sunday Naps

Summary: It's Sunday, which means it's time for your favorite weekend activity- an afternoon nap with Frankie. But when Frankie finds himself awake before you with an interesting problem, he knows just the way to wake you up, too.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader (no use of y/n, established relationship)

Word Count: 2.6K (The self restraint on this was UNREAL)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't do this irl), VERY CONSENSUAL Somnophilia, oral sex (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, this is porn with no plot, reader has no physical descriptions (but pls let me know if I missed any!!)Frankie being a menace but also literally the sweetest man alive, Frankie's a Tampa Bay Buc's fan (idk, if he lives in Florida, this makes the most sense to me, I will not elaborate), napping during football bc me too, girl

A/N: This is my first time writing somno so pls be nice, I am NERVY😭 I hope y'all enjoy, Frankie Morales is forever making me swoon, and I just know in my heart that this man absolutely loves to nap and is the world's biggest snuggler 🥺💕 not beta'd bc that's just how I roll

Before you had met Frankie, Sunday was arguably the worst of the weekend days- looming stress of the work week ahead, mettled with to-do’s and other chores before Monday got the best of you. There were very few times that you had found yourself anxiously awaiting a Sunday, but since Frankie? Sundays had easily become one of your favorite days of the week.  

Slow and easy going mornings where Frankie brought you coffee as the sun rose before tangling your bodies between the sheets in a mess of soft and unrushed sex, followed by cuddling and leisurely making your way out of bed for breakfast, awaiting a relaxing day ahead of you. 

Now that it was fall, it also meant football season, and while you didn’t really care either way about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, you enjoyed any time that you got to spend cuddled up next to Frankie on the couch, considering more often than not, it normally resulted in the two of you fucking during half-time, followed by you promptly napping wrapped in Frankie’s arms for the better part of the 2nd half.  

This Sunday was no different, you and Frankie had found yourself happily snuggled on your couch under your favorite fluffy blanket, Buccaneers game on in the background, Frankie’s arm draped around you as you leaned against his chest, soaking in the familiar warmth and scent of him radiating from the worn cotton of his t-shirt as you felt your eyelids slowly begin to droop heavier and heavier. With the way Frankie had been mindlessly rubbing soft, gentle circles against your back, his thumb dancing in swirling patterns across your skin, it wasn’t long before the comfort of being held in Frankie’s arms had completely washed over you, and you had found yourself fast asleep well before the start of the second quarter. 

What you hadn’t realized, was that Frankie had fallen asleep not long after you, the weight of your body pressed against his, along with the long week he’d had from work and the symphony of melodic snores now roaring from your parted lips and knocked him out almost equally as fast, leaving the two of you in a blissfully happy pile of nap on another lazy Sunday afternoon. 

That was, until, Frankie found himself wide awake well before you with a very curious problem. 

He was hard as a fucking rock. 

Some way or another in your sleepy, napping state, the both of you had rolled over on your sides, Frankie now spooning you with his arm draped over your middle and your ass pressed firmly against his crotch, quickly solving the mystery to the hardon straining at the fabric of his sweatpants. 

But if just your ass nestled against your dick wasn’t enough, Frankie looked over to see that you were definitely also dreaming, and the type of dream you were having wasn’t hard to decipher based on the way you were quietly moaning in your sleep and subtly grinding your hips into Frankie’s lap. 

“Mmmmmmm… Frankie…..” You quietly whimpered, your voice groggy with sleep as you stirred in Frankie’s arms, now finding himself almost unbearably hard at the sight that he’d awoken to, especially now knowing that the dream you were having was definitely about him. Frankie let out a deep, shaky exhale, now more awake than ever as you continued to gently squirmed your bottom half against him, biting down at his bottom lip as you moaned again. 

“Frankie… Oh fuck…..”  

“Fuck…” Frankie whispered, now raging an internal war in his head as he debated what to do next, knowing you were clearly turned on by whatever was happening in your slumber, his cock aching with each second that passed with you spooned against him. 

Should he just try to get up and jerk off before you woke up? Wake you up and then ask if you wanted to fuck? Or maybe… Maybe, he’d wake you up a different way. 

Although he hadn’t done it often, you had made it abundantly clear to Frankie that it had been more than okay to wake you up to sex, and every time he had, you’d absolutely loved it. Frankie had been hesitant at first, never wanting to do anything without your consent, or do anything that would ever make you feel even remotely uncomfortable, but after you had insisted and he had worked up the courage, he knew he had the green light from that point on- And given the state that you were in right now, Frankie was about to make good on your outstanding offer. 

Carefully shifting his body out from behind you, Frankie let you gently fall so your back was resting against the couch, caging his broad body over yours as he worked his way down to the waistband of your pants, gently sliding them off your hips before tugging at your underwear and leaving your bottom half bare for him. 

Frankie sat back on his knees, in shock and awe of the glistening, wet mess your pussy had already become in your sleep just dreaming of him, arousal coating your folds and inside of your thighs as you lazily shifted in your sleep, your legs seeming to instinctually fall open, just for him. 

“Fuck me, baby girl…” He whispered to himself under his breath, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he audibly gulped, his eyes going wide as he locked on to your cunt, already dripping and aching for him. Settling down to lay on his stomach, he carefully lifted up your legs to rest over his shoulders, wrapping his arms around your waist, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your hips while he settled himself face to face with your heat. 

With one long, flat press of his tongue, Frankie dragged himself across your clit, savoring the sweet tang of the juices that had been dripping from your hole, lapping them up with one more lengthy lick, before pulling his mouth away just enough to see how you’d react to the new presence between your legs. 

As if Frankie wasn’t already turned on enough, your reaction was clearly aiding his cause. 

After just one lick of his tongue through your folds, you were already incredibly responsive, your hips instinctively jerking towards his face as a breathy whine escaped from your lips, as if you were already begging for more without having to say a word. A slight smirk began to spread across Frankie’s face as he dove back in again, this time, working himself along your cunt in easy, languid strokes, feeling your body begin to twitch even more with the way he was working his mouth. 

“Mmmmmmm…. Yeah…..” You muttered, still sleeping as you kept bucking your bottom half against his face, only encouraging Frankie to give you more with his tongue, beginning to change his pattern to swirl deliberate, steady circles around your clit, putting more and more pressure into each movement. 

“Frankie….” 

“That’s it, sweet girl…” Frankie hummed, his words rumbling in his chest as his hot breath danced against your core, continuing to coax you out of your slumber, working through your folds and at your sensitive bud with intensifying pace. 

It wasn’t long until Frankie’s careful and meticulous work slowly began to turn more sloppy and desperate, feeling the wet mess you were becoming under his tongue driving him insane, wanting, no needing, to make you cum, to wake you up with pleasure flowing through your veins, turning your sleepy mumbles into cries of his name over and over again. 

Letting one arm untangle around your leg, he brought the hand to your pussy, gently slipping one finger into your aching core, sucking him in with your warm, wet walls, only giving it a few pumps before realizing you could easily take a second, slipping it in to meet the first and curling the pair to brush against the soft and spongy spot inside you he knew drove you absolutely mad. Almost instantly, he could feel your cunt beginning to clench in response, your tell tale sign that you were getting closer and closer to reaching your high and completely coming undone around him. 

“C’mon, querida, I’ve got you, baby.”

Suddenly, your eyes shot open, your heart racing as you felt a familiar feeling building in your belly, the coil inside you already wound so tightly as you let out a ragged moan, lifting your head up to see Frankie nestled between your legs, drinking you up like a man starved. 

“Oh fuck, Frankie, fuck- baby, fuck, don’t stop” You whimpered, shooting your hand down to burry it in the messy, dark curls of his hair, tugging at his locks for any sort of relief as you had awoken to the savory sensation shooting down your spine and through your core from Frankie’s lips latched around your clit and fingers pulsing in and out of your cunt. 

Frankie had barely any time to register that you were now awake, but as you grasped firmer at his hair and let out a ragged moan as you came, clenching around his fingers and gushing with your arousal, it had become very clear to Frankie that he had done his job, and done it well. 

“There’s my good girl. Damelo (Give it to me), Hermosa, fucking soak my face.” Frankie smirked, pulling away to reveal the shiny slick covering his beard, still gently rocking his fingers in the warm, wet walls of your heat as you came down from your high, you chest heaving in low, shallow breaths, mouth hanging open as you let a moan of pure ecstasy fall from your lips. 

“Frankie… Holy Fuck…” 

“Good morning.” Frankie mewled, pulling his fingers out of your pussy, making you hiss at the loss as he laid himself on top of you, swallowing your whimpers in an electric kiss, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips as his tongue swiped across your mouth, silently begging for more. “Must have been some good dreams you were having, querida. You were so fucking wet for me, baby. I couldn’t help myself.” 

“Frankie, please, I need you. Fuck- Fuck, I need you to fuck me, Frankie, please. Need you inside me.” 

“Needy girl. I’ve got you, Hermosa. Don’t worry. Woke up so fucking hard for you, baby. Didn’t stand a fucking chance with that pretty ass all pressed up against me. Fuck, you’re so perfect.” Frankie sighed, reaching down to shuffle his sweatpants and boxers down off his hips, revealing his painfully hard cock, his tip red and weeping with precum, aching to be buried inside you from the moment he had woken up. 

Wrapping his hand around his length, he stroked himself a few times before lining up with your entrance, the two of you letting out a heavy sigh of relief as Frankie pushed inside you, slowly filling you up inch by inch until his tip was kissing your cervix, taking a few moments to let you adjust to the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness. 

His forehead dropped to rest against yours, the shimmering sheen of his sweat making his dark curls stick to him and brush against your skin, his broad palm cupping your cheek as he let your lips lock onto yours again for another tender kiss as he slowly began to thrust in and out of you, taking his sweet time with each stroke. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet and tight, queirda.” Frankie grunted, gritting his teeth as his hips rutted into you, the weight of his body draped overtop of you sending your mind reeling, loving every second of being engulfed in his broadness. “What were you dreaming about, baby, hmm? What were you dreaming about that had you all worked up?” 

Suddenly, Frankie’s arm was wrapping under your legs, pressing your knees to your chest to stretch you open even further, the new position making you breathless as he began to pound into you with more intensity, the room now filling with a mix of your moans and skin slapping against each other. 

“I was dreaming- oh fuck- Fuck, I was dreaming about you, Frankie. Shit- dreaming about you fucking me like this, how good you make me feel.” You whined, Frankie’s grip in the soft flesh of your thighs growing tighter as you locked eyes with him, the dark, chocolate brown pooling with lust watching the wrecked mess you were quickly becoming as your cunt began to clench tighter, and the all too familiar tingle in your spine once again began to creep through your body. 

Your response elicited a low hum in Frankie’s chest, rutting his hips into you with more intensity as he felt your pussy starting to flutter around his cock, freeing one of his hands to snake between your legs, the pads of his fingers putting just the right amount of pressure on your clit to have you screaming out his name as you felt yourself creep closer and closer to your second orgasm. 

“Fuck me. That’s all I want baby, just wanna make you feel good. You gonna be a good girl and give me one more, Hermosa? Cum all over my cock before I fill you up?” 

Frankie could feel his own high slowly approaching now too, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and frantic as he pounded against your g-spot and circled your clit, determined to make sure you came again before he did. 

“Mmmmmhhhmmmm.” You whimpered, your brain barely even able to form a coherent thought, let alone a complete sentence, given how your eyes were practically rolling in the back of your head as Frankie’s punishing pace split you open in the best way possible, your legs beginning to tremble while you could feel the knot tightening in your core quickly building up to the point of snapping. “Oh fuck, fuck, Frankie, fuckfuckfuckfuck I’m so close, fuck, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” 

Before you could even finish your sentence, your orgasm crashed through you, euphoria flowing through your veins as you came, every inch of you filling with pleasure as your cunt clamped around Frankie’s length, soaking him in your arousal. Watching you cum was all Frankie needed to follow suit, gritting his teeth as a ragged groan rumbled deep in his chest, pumping a few more times into your heat before burying himself in your warm, wet walls, and milking himself of every last drop as he came, the mix of his spend and your slick leaking and coating the inside of your thighs

Letting his body collapse into yours, he draped himself on top of you, your chests rising and falling in sync with heavy, heaving breaths, the both of you trying your best to regain your composure before Frankie gently pulled himself out, making you hiss at the loss of his fullness as he flopped over next to you, planting a soft kiss on your lips as lay his arm across your stomach, pulling you into him. 

“Jesus Christ, Frankie… That’s one way to wake up from a nap.” You giggled softly, raising your eyebrows at him, softly biting down on your lip. 

“Was that okay?” Frankie asked, shifting his hand up to gently cup your face, stroking his thumb in lazy circles around your cheek, staring back at you with his sweet puppy dog gaze. “I know I’ve done it before but I just always wanna make sure you feel good and-” 

You caught the rest of his sentence in your mouth, swallowing his words in another long, and tender kiss, pulling away from his plush lips to peck a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose, giggling once again. 

“God, I love you. What did I ever do to deserve you, Fransisco Morales? Yes, baby it was more than okay. So okay that in fact,” You huffed, wrapping your arm around Frankie’s waist and letting your head fall to lay on his chest, “I think I need another nap.”

@bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog @jaciejay13 @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @lola8888673 @persephone-girl @copperhalfcent @innerpersonunknown @messinadresss @devineconjuring @endlessthxxghts @cool-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @messinadress @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @ilovepedro @pascalscoffin @missladym1981 @ilovepedro @itsokbbygrl

[stevie-petey]

episode three: holly, jolly

Jonathan, your Jonathan, would never do this.  He tries to approach you again but you find yourself stumbling back, knocking against Steve’s chest. Hurt flashes in his eyes, you’ve never flinched at Jonathan’s touch, but what he did has changed everything.  Steve places a hand on your shoulder. “See, you can tell that he knows it was wrong, but that’s the thing about perverts. It’s hard-wired into them. They just can’t help themselves.”  He begins tearing up the pictures, and you can’t believe Jonathan of all people is making you agree with Harrington, yet here you are.

Summary: you and jonathan talk it out and things are better (spoiler alert: they aren't), you somehow end up agreeing with steve harrington ?? then you have a minor breakdown in front of the kids and once again fail to prevent them from experiencing more trauma.

Rating: general, slight cursing.

Warnings: cursing, use of the word “slut”, fem!reader, use of y/n, and description of a dead body. this chapter is pure angst, steve is steve, jonathan is jonathan, and... well. we know how this episode ends.

Words: 6.2k

Before you swing in: hello ! i'm currently in the early stages of chapter 5, and it's a loooong chapter, so i figured i'd treat y'all to this one before taking my time with updating. this chapter was a bit difficult in terms of bug and jonathan, but i promise that they'll have more time later to really figure out why they keep clashing - for better or for worse lol. if their relationship feels stilted: that's why ! after all, season 1 is literally titled: we don't talk about it or have the time. the title has immense meaning for the overall tone of season 1 (and the song for the series shhh). anyways, enjoy <3

-

The next day you bike to school alone, not bothering to see if Jonathan’s car will pick you up as usual. 

The two of you have never fought before, at least not like this. From the moment you met him when you were twelve, there has never been a time where the two of you haven’t been on the same page. You’ve been in sync from the moment you met. 

Now it feels like everything is off between the two of you. It feels as if the tiny planet you live on is now off kilter, angled ever so slightly now, rotating out of sync. The change is almost imperceptible, but it’s there. You can feel it. 

Last night just proved that there’s something wrong with your relationship with Jonathan, but you can’t figure out what.

Jonathan has never yelled at you before, and you’ve never turned your back on him; then again, he’s also never kept anything from you. While he didn’t admit it last night, you know him. He was hiding something from you last night and it frightens you that he seems too ashamed to tell you what it is. 

You trust him, you do, but the guilt you saw in his eyes makes you uneasy. 

As you walk the school hallway towards your locker, you overhear some girls from your English class talking about Steve and Nancy. You normally wouldn’t eavesdrop on such a conversation, but the girls were talking obnoxiously loud and by the tone of their voice, they weren’t being kind about what they were saying. 

“I heard Harrington got little Miss Wheeler to sleep with him.” One of the girls giggles, looking around to make sure no one is listening.  

“What a slut!” Her friend sneers.

You clear your throat loudly, making sure they hear it, and send a glare their way. “Well, aren’t you guys just peachy?” 

The girls lower their eyes and shift uncomfortably, which pleases you. Good. They should feel bad. What does it matter if Nancy slept with Harrington? It’s always the girls who get labeled the slut, never the man who has slept with more girls than classes he’s passed. 

Typical. 

You roll your eyes at them and continue towards your locker, spotting the couple in question up ahead. Your locker is a few down from Nancy’s and usually you’ve been able to avoid their gross lovey-dovey sessions in the mornings since Jonathan is always running late, but since you didn’t ride with him, you’re forced to deal with two hormonal teens who you don’t necessarily like. 

“Hey, Henderson!” 

Steve stops you as you walk past, causing you to look up in confusion. “Yeah?” 

“How’s Byers doing? Ya know, with everything going on?”

You stare at him, trying to figure out what the punchline is supposed to be. Steve may not be a massive dick, but he’s still a dick, and you can’t imagine he’d ever ask about Jonathan given the fact that he can’t even remember Will’s name. 

“He’s… dealing.” You say, uncomfortable with the entire conversation. 

Steve nods, letting out a slight hum. “Well, tell your guy that any friend of Henderson’s is a friend of mine.” He sends a wink Nancy’s way, and it’s then that you figure out what he’s doing. He’s playing the nice guy card, trying to impress her with his “generosity”, and you’ve had enough of idiotic and emotionally constipated men these last 24 hours. 

“Funny, I don’t tell my friends to get fucked, yet here we are: get fucked, Harrington.” Steve’s eyes widen at your words, taken aback, and Nancy goes to say something but you cut her off. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Nancy. Why don’t you ask him why everyone’s staring at you? I’m sure it’ll be a thrilling conversation.”

You shove past the two of them and make your way to class. 

– 

You don’t see Jonathan for your next three classes, which only makes your shitty day worse. Not only have you guys never fought before, but you’ve never done the silent treatment either. As far as you can tell, there’s no reason for him not to be in class today besides your fight the night before. 

When it’s your lunch hour you try to find him, because at this point you just want to put it all behind you and move on to focus on Will. You never got the chance to tell Jonathan about El last night, you hadn’t had the time to before things blew up. 

You wait at your usual corner of the lunchroom for Jonathan, but he never appears. You sigh in defeat and pick at your meal, which honestly looks more like prison food than anything else, trying to figure out what you should do next. 

While you’re thinking, Carol’s obnoxious moans carry through the lunchroom. “Oh, Steve! Steeeve!”

Tommy joins in now, banging the table to get a bigger reaction. You see Steve trying not to smile at their antics, but it’s obvious to everyone how uncomfortable Nancy is. You feel pity for her, she deserves better than Harrington and his immature friends. Then again, you suppose she chose this for herself the second she started dating him. 

King Steve has never hidden who he is. 

You watch as Steve says something to appease her, but something catches Nancy’s eye and she turns to face it. Curious, you turn as well and spot Jonathan staring right back at her. They share a look, one that you can’t decipher, and you feel something twist within your stomach. 

It’s not jealousy, at least, not in that way. Jonathan is your only real friend in Hawkins (the kids don’t count, you recognize how embarrassing that is), and you’ve never had to share him before. Clearly Nancy has taken an interest in him of some sort and Jonathan, being ever the private person, has allowed her to, so you just have to swallow down your pride and accept it. 

Besides, you did always tell Jonathan that the two of you needed more friends. 

Taking a deep breath to will your nerves away, you ditch your lunch and follow after Jonathan. Screw whatever silent treatment is in place, he’s your best friend and you honestly don’t think it’s possible for you to ever be angry at him. It just isn’t in your nature. 

For better or for worse, you could never hate Jonathan Byers. 

You catch Jonathan as he’s leaving the photo developing room. He’s holding some pictures in his hands but quickly hides them away when he sees you. 

“Y/N, hi.” 

You ignore the voice in the back of your head telling you that something’s wrong, that he’s still acting weird with you, but you ignore it because you just want some normalcy in your life. You need your best friend. “Hey,”

“Look, I’m so sorry for what I said last night…” 

You brush him off, “It’s okay, I promise.”

Jonathan huffs at you, exasperated as always whenever you let people get away with things that they shouldn’t. “No, it’s not okay. You’ve been nothing short of amazing and I was the dick who yelled at you for it.” 

The two of you are walking out of the school as you talk, and you let out a weak laugh. “I guess you were pretty awful, huh?”

He doesn’t laugh along with you, instead shaking his head in shame. “You didn’t deserve that, not after all you’ve done for me and my mom. I was lying through my teeth last night, you are family, Y/N.” 

“I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s genuinely okay-” 

“Bug, I was a dick. End of discussion. I just… sometimes it feels like I don’t deserve your help, you do so much for us. I let it get to me last night, and I’ll never stop apologizing for it.”

You don’t know what to say, caught off guard by the vulnerability. “Just… don’t do that again, alright? If something is bothering you I’d rather you tell me about it than take your frustration out on me.”

“Deal.”

“Anything else on your mind?” 

Jonathan thinks for a moment and you can tell he’s trying to word whatever is on his mind correctly. “While I know you’ve always loved to help, there’s some things that I have to do on my own, okay? Will, my mom… they’re my responsibility, not yours. I mean, not in a bad way-” 

“Hey, I understand. I need to back off a bit, I recognize that now. I’m sorry, bee.” You kick at a rock in the parking lot, “so we’ve got ourselves a deal?” 

The boy gives you a quizzical look and you laugh at him, extending your hand. When he grabs it, you turn the hold into a handshake. “I’ll calm down my fretting antics and you’ll come to me about whatever is on your mind, no matter what; we don’t hide anything from each other.”

The slight smile Jonathan briefly had on his face vanishes. He pales slightly and quickly releases your hand. “Right.” 

You eye him. “Bee, what aren’t you telling me?”

Caught up in conversation, you and Jonathan don’t see Steve and his gang resting against his car until it’s too late. 

“Hey, man.” Steve approaches, effectively ending your conversation with Jonathan. He glances at you. “Henderson, good to see you again.” 

“I highly doubt it.” 

“What’s going on?” Jonathan asks, putting himself between you and Steve. 

“Nicole here was telling us about your work.”  

Confused, you look at Jonathan. “What, did you start another photo series or something?” 

Steve laughs coldly. “You could say that.” 

Jonathan ignores him and pulls you close behind him, ducking his head down to whisper into your ear, “it’s not what it looks like, trust me.” 

“Bee, what-”

“Henderson, want to take a look with us as, you know, connoisseurs of art?” 

You look at Steve now, more confused than ever, but you feel a slight sense of dread. You know that whatever photo he’s about to pull out will be bad. You know it’ll be connected to Jonathan’s behavior last night, to the guilt he’s been carrying, to the way he hid the same pictures from you not even ten minutes ago. 

You look back to Jonathan now, silently pleading with him for more of an explanation, but he averts his eyes. Exhaling deeply, you face Steve. “Show me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jonathan says, trying to walk away, but Tommy grabs at his backpack. 

“Hey!” You run up to Tommy and start pulling at the bag, but the guy is twice your size and easily wins, accidentally flinging you to the ground. 

Jonathan runs over to check on you. “Y/N!”

At the same time, Steve berates his friend. “Woah, Tommy, easy man! Henderson isn’t who we’re here for, leave her out of this.” 

Both boys crouch next to you and offer you a hand, but you bat them away. You’re irritated and confused and pissed the fuck off at both of them right now for vastly different reasons. You pick yourself up and brush away some dirt that got on your jeans. “Show me the photos, Jonathan.” 

He looks at you, hurt. “Do you not trust me?” 

“Do you trust me?” Your words hang in the air.

Steve is now right behind you. “Oh man he’s like, totally trembling. He must really have something to hide.” 

Jonathan tries to step closer to you, but Steve is now the one who blocks him. You watch silently as he unzips Jonathan’s bag and pulls out the photos, ignoring the pleading look that your friend sends your way. You trust Jonathan more than anyone else in this world, but something doesn’t feel right. 

The photos are tame at first, though admittedly creepy. They’re all still shots of Steve and his friends from the night before, you recognize the famous pool that the whole school talks about when it comes to Harrington’s parties. 

“Your boyfriend is a creep, Y/N.” Steve says, nudging you with his shoulder as he continues to flick through the pictures. 

“He isn’t my-” 

“I was looking for my brother.”

Jonathan’s words make you freeze. “You went looking for Will without me?” 

Steve says something else, but you don’t catch it. You stare at Jonathan, hurt that he’d search for Will without even telling you first. He’s his brother, you understand that, but what would you do if Jonathan went missing too?

Nancy then appears, causing Jonathan to finally look up to catch your eye, but he quickly looks away. “Here’s the starring lady!”

She laughs nervously. “What?”

Carol explains what was going on, and you’re too upset to speak. There’s too many thoughts going through your mind, but when Carol flashes you a picture of Nancy, naked, it takes everything in you not to throw up. 

Jonathan, your Jonathan, would never do this. 

He tries to approach you again but you find yourself stumbling back, knocking against Steve’s chest. Hurt flashes in his eyes, you’ve never flinched at Jonathan’s touch, but what he did has changed everything. 

Steve places a hand on your shoulder. “See, you can tell that he knows it was wrong, but that’s the thing about perverts. It’s hard-wired into them. They just can’t help themselves.” 

He begins tearing up the pictures, and you can’t believe Jonathan of all people is making you agree with Harrington, yet here you are. 

Nancy is his girlfriend, and even outside of that, Jonathan had no right taking pictures of her naked without her consent. You agree with Steve’s actions, but then the camera comes into play. He reaches for Jonathan’s camera, causing him to dive forward to stop anything from happening to it, and it’s finally what breaks you from your shock. 

You react as well, shoving past Steve to try and get to the camera first, but it’s no use. He beats you to it, Carol now holding you back as she digs her claws into your skin. Jonathan is being held back by Tommy, and all the two of you can do is watch helplessly as Steve dangles the camera high in the air. 

What Jonathan did was wrong, there’s no denying that, but you know how long it took him to save up for the thing. How many awful shifts he picked up at the theater to pay for it, adamantly refusing any money both you and Joyce offered him to help pay for it. 

This camera was his and his alone. Paid for with his own money, bought for his own enjoyment, his pride and joy. 

“Here you go, man.” Without even hesitating, Steve lets the camera fall to the ground. 

You gasp, watching as the lens shatters and you crouch down to try and piece it back together. Your hands are shaking, you don’t know what to feel right now, but with how badly your hands shake, it’s no use trying to fix the camera; you need something to distract yourself with. 

Jonathan and Nancy join you on the ground, but you’re too overwhelmed to really notice them. The combination of emotions leaves you wondering if you’re about to cry, throw up, or both. It’s only when Nancy begins snatching up the torn pictures that you acknowledge her presence. 

You grab her hand and catch her eye, “I’m so, so sorry.”

She doesn’t respond, only giving you a slightly confused look, and you recognize how stupid it is that you feel the need to apologize for Jonathan’s actions. You aren’t his keeper, and until now you never even considered he’d do something like this, and yet the guilt creeps in. You open your mouth to say something else, but Steve calls her over to join them and she leaves. 

Jonathan is still next to you, remaining silent even after Nancy’s departure. You can feel his eyes on you as you continue to fumble with the broken camera pieces as a gust of wind blows away the remaining photo shreds. 

“Shit!” A shard of glass from the lens cuts your finger, drawing blood. 

“Bug, let me-” Jonathan grabs at your hand to inspect the cut, but you pull away harshly. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

“Y/N…” The hurt look on his face is almost enough to make you crack, but the blood drips from your finger and falls onto a picture that somehow didn’t blow away. You look at it, seeing the outline of Nancy’s back in the photo, her beautiful side profile perfectly captured. 

The urge to throw up returns. 

“You’re hurt, let me look at it.” Jonathan pleads, his voice soft, with more empathy than he’s ever shown you these last few days. It’s as if last night never happened. As if you’re some idiot who is always ready and willing to come crawling back to those who discard you whenever they please. 

In a way, you suppose that you are. 

You hate it. 

Jonathan tries to grab your hand again but you stand up before he can. “I said don’t touch me.” 

He tries to grab you once more but again you pull away. Your brain is a mess right now trying to comprehend everything that happened within the last fifteen minutes. You look down at the broken camera pieces still laying on the ground, its glass reflecting in the late afternoon light. 

Those photos of Nancy… 

God, you’re an idiot. 

“Nancy is the reason you were such an asshole to me last night, isn’t she?”

“Y/N, those photos-”

“You knew that the second I looked at you I’d know you’d done something terrible.”

Jonathan is silent beside you, but you don’t need to hear whatever excuse he’ll give you to know that you’re right. Instead of telling you what he did last night, he kicked you out of his home in a guilt-crazed daze, saying horrible things to you that he can never take back. 

Instead of being honest with you, he had been a goddamn coward who hurt you in the cruelest way possible. 

Jonathan runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Look, you know I’ve never been able to lie to you-”

“So naturally you resorted to screaming at me and saying we aren’t family-”

“I regret what I said, but how was I supposed to tell you about the photos if I don’t even know why I took them in the first place?” 

You start pacing around the parking lot, too overwhelmed to stay put. Jonathan’s words only confuse and upset you more. In the midst of your frantic pacing the cut on your finger begins to bleed more, which causes you to wince and catch Jonathan’s attention.

“Bug, you’re in pain,” his voice is gentle now, the worried crease between his brows now prominent in a way that you’ve always found cute. “I’m not just going to stand around while you’re hurt. Let me help.” 

Unfortunately for Jonathan, his words only piss you off more. 

“You’re not just going to stand around while I’m hurt? That’s fucking rich coming from you, Jonathan.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“This entire week I’ve been hurting! I mean,” you let out a laugh laced with tears threatening to spill out. “I lost Will too, did you ever consider that? And I understand he’s your brother and I would lose my mind if anything ever happened to Dustin, but I’ve done nothing but love and support you through this shit show and you haven’t even asked how I’m holding up. I mean, what kind of best friend does that?”

Shame washes over Jonathan. “I didn’t think-” 

“I’ve been exhausting myself trying to help and not once have I considered it a burden because I’m doing this for Will, for you. I’m doing what any decent person is supposed to do, and I’m not asking for praise or-or for a reward but holy fuck, Jonathan! I mean, I understand now that maybe I was bit too much but,”

You’re yelling at him now, all the frustration you’ve been swallowing down these last few days now spills out. “At least treat me like a human being! I mean, the stunt you pulled last night was such bullshit and I was ready to excuse your actions because you’re my best friend and you’re hurting, but then you hide those damn photos from me? Scream at me like I’m some pathetic fucking child because you’re too ashamed of your own actions? We don’t lie to each other.”

Jonathan steps towards you and it isn’t until he’s cradling your head in his hands to wipe away your tears do you realize you’re crying. He’s so tender, gently wiping the tears as they fall, and you feel weak against him, closing your eyes as you soak up the affection. 

“Bug…” His voice cracks, not knowing what else to say. 

You open your eyes now. “You went looking for Will without me… did you even think about what your mom would do if you disappeared too? What I would do if you disappeared?”

“I…”

“And Nancy…” you pull away so that he’s no longer touching you. “That was a line I never thought you would cross. And to lie to me about it, I just… why?”

Jonathan shakes his head, a few tears of his own now beginning to fall. “I don’t know.” 

There’s nothing else you can say; you’ve drained all your energy. A headache is beginning to form and with the parking lot clearing out, indicating the end of the school day, you know you need to leave for work soon. 

Normally when you look at Jonathan, you feel a sense of security, but now all you feel is dread. His shoulders are hunched, the bags under his eyes darker than ever, and at this moment you’re not sure you know who he is anymore. It terrifies the shit out of you. 

“I should go,” you wipe your nose with your sleeve, side stepping Jonathan as you start walking towards the bike stand. 

“You’re leaving?” There’s fear in his voice, and you can hear the undertones of are you leaving me, too?

“I have to work tonight, so I need to-” 

“Let me drive you then, it’s cold and-and we can talk more about this-”

He follows you to your bike and you feel such pity for him. You know he’s right about needing to talk more, but all you want right now is to crawl into bed and pretend that this whole week has been a dream. A horrible, awful dream. 

You offer Jonathan your hand, the cut on your finger no longer bleeding, and intertwine your fingers with his. “I want to be alone right now, okay? Please, just give me some time.” 

He wants to argue with you, you can see it in his eyes, but just like you know him better than anyone else, he knows you just as well. He knows there’s no use trying to change your mind when you get like this; when the feelings become too much and solitude is your only solution. It's happened before in the past, but never with him. 

All he can do is wait for you to come back when you're ready. 

“Okay, I can do that.” 

You squeeze his hand, like you always do, before you let go and bike away. 

He watches as you leave. 

– 

Tonight’s shift is another slow one, which you’re grateful for. 

It was just last week that Jonathan had been driving you, Will, and Dustin to school. You’d been singing some song on the radio and the November air had a slight nostalgia of August warmth. Will and Dustin complained about your singing as you wailed on, Jonathan eventually joining in so that the two younger boys could only cover their ears with their hands and groan in annoyance. 

Now Will is gone, taking the August warmth with him and leaving behind only November cold that leaves your bones feeling raw. 

The laughter is gone, and now you’re afraid that your best friend is gone as well. 

You come home to an empty house, a note on the kitchen counter informing you that your mother is at her knitting club and that Dustin is off with his friends. 

Wonderful. Your brother has once again gone off on some adventure without informing you first. What a lovely addition to your already horrible day. 

You call the Wheeler’s first, hoping that maybe you don’t have to bike around the entire town to find the little shit, but like always: you’re mistaken. 

“I’m sorry, but the boys went out biking right after school.” 

“Oh, lovely then. Thanks, Mrs. Wheeler, have a good night.” 

“You too, dear!”

As soon as you hang up, you allow yourself a moment to just scream. The headache that formed during your fight with Jonathan hasn’t left, you’re tired, you have so much homework that you’re too afraid to even look at, and you still have no idea who El is or what she really knows about Will. 

And now you have to bike all around Hawkins to find said girl, because there’s no way the morons have listened to your orders to stay put with her. 

You check Lucas’ house first, but Erica tells you that they aren’t there and requests that you inform Lucas that her lying fee has been raised to $5. 

“That’s a bit steep, don’t you think?”

“Do you wanna pay?”

“Good point, have a good night then Erica.”

You then search around the middle school, but there’s no sign of them anywhere. After another thirty minutes of nothing, you finally give in to your hunch and bike to the Byers. You’re not sure if Jonathan will be home, but your idiot brother may need you, so you just have to suck it up and check. 

Ultimately you’re glad you do, because as you ride up the driveway you see the boys circling around El. 

“Why did you bring us here?” 

“I have a better question Mike, why did you bring us here?” None of the kids had noticed your arrival, so they all jump at your voice. 

Dustin’s face goes pale. “Y/N! What-what are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you little assholes for an hour now,” you park your bike and step closer to the kids. “Why do you never listen to me when I tell you guys to keep me updated, huh? Do I have a giant sign on my head that says ‘hey, ignore me and treat me like utter shit!’, is that it?” 

No one responds, too stunned by your words. You never cuss at them, and apart from last night, they don’t think they’ve ever seen you so angry before. 

“I’m just so sick and tired of people treating me like I’m some throwaway toy, just casting me aside and forgetting about me until it’s convenient. I have feelings too, isn’t that a wild concept? I mean, who knew Y/N Henderson had any real emotions behind her pathetic need to help everyone around her!” 

Dustin can hear the hurt in your voice and knows that this isn’t just about them sneaking off. You’re upset about something else, someone hurt you and he needs to know who, so he softly asks, “Y/N, what happened?” 

You spin around to face him. “Nothing! That’s what happened! None of you told me anything, everyone has just decided to keep me out of the loop because god forbid I deserve any honesty after years of being there for you guys-”

“Okay, this is definitely about Jonathan then.” Lucas mumbles, which Mike nods in agreement to. 

“This is not about Jonathan-” The sound of sirens cuts you off. 

Everyone freezes, and your heart stops. This is Hawkins, where nothing ever happens; cops don’t just go flying down the street late at night. 

You know, even before you can fully comprehend how, that it’s Will. You can feel it; the sirens are for him, the precious boy you’ve come to love like your own brother. 

Then, to confirm your fears, an ambulance follows behind the line of cop cars, and you feel your entire world shatter.  

“Will…” Mike exhales, and the second the name leaves his lips everyone scrambles for their bikes to follow the cars. 

You know you shouldn’t, you know this won’t end well, but it’s Will. Maybe he’s alive, maybe he simply got lost in the woods and has been wandering around the last three days or so. There’s so many other possibilities, an endless array of explanations, and yet…

Your legs feel heavy as you pedal after the kids. You know that, no matter what you guys end up finding, that nothing will ever be the same again. As you follow, the route you take begins to look familiar, back when you and Jonathan would spend your summers exploring the forest and its surroundings. 

The quarry. 

Suddenly you can’t breathe. “I… I can’t-” 

“Y/N, we have to see if it’s Will!” Dustin calls behind him, too eager to realize exactly where you guys are going. 

If you could just warn them, maybe speed up to block their paths, you could convince them to turn around, but it’s too late. The five of you arrive at the quarry’s edge and toss your bikes behind the fire truck. You see the firemen in the water, sloshing around for something, and you realize what they’re doing a second too late.

Immediately you begin to pull the kids away, not wanting them to see what you desperately hope you’re wrong about, but you’re too late. “Guys, get away from the truck, we shouldn’t be here-”

You’re always too fucking late. 

“Please, we need to leave,” your voice shakes as you try to shield the kids from the sight of Will’s body being pulled from the water.

Mike pulls away from you. “No, it’s not Will. It can’t be.” 

“Mike…” 

The firemen lift the raft up higher and the light lands on Will’s lifeless body, and you feel a piece of you die. He’s always been the smallest of the boys, but as the men lift his dead body out of the water, he’s never looked so small. Will is gone; he’s taken all the light with him. 

Dustin reaches for your hand and is the first to start crying. You pull him into your chest as he sobs. Lucas looks over at you, a silent acceptance in his eyes. “It’s Will. It’s really Will.” 

You grab the boy and pull him into you as well, the two of them now crying as you hold them. All you can do right is hold your boys, staring off into space as you feel them shake with grief against you. This isn’t real. 

From the corner of your eye you see El approaching Mike, and you’re too numb to warn her against it. “Mike…” 

“‘Mike’? ‘Mike,’ what?” He slaps her hand away, which causes you to become alert. He’s hurting, you know Mike loved Will more than anyone else, but he’ll only hurt himself more if he pushes everyone away. 

“Mike, I know you’re upset-” 

He faces you, a betrayed look in his eyes. “Upset? She was supposed to help us find him alive. She said he was alive!” he turns to El now, “why did you lie to us? What’s wrong with you?”

As he yells at the girl you hear his own tears beginning to form, and as you hold his friends, you lean closer to Mike and use your other hand to console him, but he begins to run away. 

Dustin and Lucas watch helplessly as their friend leaves, you all call after him but are ignored. They beg him to stay, too scared to be separated once more now that Will is gone, but Mike doesn’t listen. He grabs his bike, leaving you and the boys alone with El. 

She looks at you, tears in her eyes and a pleading look on her face. She’s looking to you for reassurance, to console her and tell her that everything will be okay with Mike, that he’ll forgive her, but you can’t. 

You also feel betrayed by the girl. You don’t think she was lying, in a sense, but then how can she explain Will’s dead body 50 feet away? El promised you and the boys that Will was alive, but he’s not. 

Tears start to fall down her face. “Y/N?”

You’re sure that when you look back on this moment later, you will have wished that you had done something braver, something more kind to the terrified girl, but you don’t. Instead of wrapping her into your arms alongside Lucas and Dustin, you give El a curt shake of your head, dismissing her. 

It hurts to watch her leave, and you’re ashamed of yourself, but then Dustin lets out another sob while Lucas tightens his hold around you, and you know that you’ve made the right choice for now. You don’t know El or her intentions, but her actions have hurt the people you love the most, and right now you have to put them first. 

You let the boys cry, barely registering anything else. 

– 

Later, much later, after getting Lucas home and tucking Dustin into bed, you finally allow yourself to grieve. You lay in your bed, staring at the framed drawing on your desk that Will had made you for your birthday this year. It was a sweet gift, having drawn you as a princess in one of their DnD campaigns with your sword and shield. Jonathan stands next to you in the picture, holding his own sword and wearing a crown, while Will and the boys are next to him, dressed in their own armor. 

In the picture the six of you are facing a dragon, but there’s a smile on all of your faces as you fight the creature together. You, Jonathan, and your boys; together, there’s nothing that you guys cannot defeat.

It’s your favorite drawing of Will’s. 

And now it’s your last drawing from him. 

The tears come slowly at first, then all at once. You find yourself hunched over, letting out anguished sobs as you mourn for the boy, for Jonathan and Joyce, for your brother and his friends. You mourn for the Byers losing a child, a brother. You mourn for your brother’s now tainted childhood. He’s too young, they all are too young to be experiencing such a loss. 

Will was too young. 

You cry until there’s nothing left within you, and yet the sobs still wrack against your body long after the tears have dried up. It’s a pain like no else. 

Then, as you’re finally beginning to calm down, you hear a knock at your window. 

You get up and fling your curtain open to find Jonathan on the other side. 

Neither of you say anything as you open the window and let him in. Once he’s inside the two of you face each other, unmoving and silent for what feels like years. There’s still a tension there from earlier, though this afternoon feels like decades ago. Jonathan stares at you, a guarded and unsure look on his face, as though he’s afraid that if he breaks in front of you that you’ll push him away. 

Instead, you surprise him by throwing yourself against his chest and into his arms. 

You’re not sure who begins to cry first, but it doesn’t matter. His cries only make you cry harder, having never seen your best friend this heartbroken before, and it’s all so fucking unfair. He doesn’t deserve this, no one does, but especially not Jonathan. He loved his brother so much, with such an intensity that rivaled your own love for Dustin. 

Jonathan pulls away a bit so that he can look at you; tears stream down his face. “He’s gone, bug.” 

“Bee,” you don’t know what more to say. What can you even say? While it feels like your heart has been ripped from your chest along with your bones, you know it only feels worse for Jonathan. No words could ever soothe that ache. 

“He’s gone,”

You grab at his jacket and gently guide him so that you sit on your bed. “Jonathan, look at me.” It takes some coaxing, but eventually he listens. “I’m here, okay? I’m here.”

Your voice cracks at the end, your own grief getting in the way, but it’s all you can say right now. You’re not sure how else to phrase it, how else to tell him that even if everything and everyone else is gone, you’re still here. You’ll never, ever leave him, especially not when he needs you the most now. 

Despite the vague words, Jonathan nods, always able to understand you, and he rests his head against your shoulder as the two of you cry. Faintly you can hear Dustin’s cries through the wall, but you leave him alone. You know he needs to process this alone, just like you needed to, just like Jonathan had before coming here. 

Tomorrow you’ll comfort your brother, you’ll bake the cookies that Joyce loves, and tonight will pass. A day must always end. This day will end, and tomorrow will come. Then, you’ll face this together with everyone you love. 

For now, your best friend needs you, so you let him cry into your shoulder and you run your nails against his scalp and whisper soothing words. Fuck whatever is going on between the two of you. 

Will is dead. The best of you, the purest of you, is dead.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

A Visit Between Friends

Pairing: Nora/Female Sole Survivor x Edward Deegan

Word Count: 11,400

Warnings: smut (18+), groping, heavy petting, solo masturbation (female), mutual masturbation, fingering, mild discussion of pregnancy/traumatic birth, shitty marriage dynamics

Notes: Edward Deegan is a ghoul especially near to my heart, so please enjoy one of the most blatantly romantic long-form works I've put out to date. I've got an idea for a short plot for this, so I'm planning on it being around five(ish) chapters. I'll try to keep the follow-ups a bit shorter, as these incredibly long one-shots/individual chapters take quite a bit of work to get out.

Big thanks to @gloomytk for proofreading for me, especially since you were so speedy about it. Thanks for reading, y'all!

After another long, busy grey day, nighttime had fallen heavily across the Boston metro area, blanketing the cluttered alleyways and open fields in a deceptively peaceful inkiness. Overhead, the moon was nearly full, providing ample light to travel by and washing everything it touched in a stark pallor, making it easier to both see and be seen. Nora, the sole survivor of the experiment at Vault 111, kept her hand on her hip-holstered pistol as she made her way along the crumbling old highway into downtown. Allowing herself a brief moment of calculated vulnerability, she checked the hour on her Pip-Boy, the illuminated screen casting her face in a sickly green glow.

She was making great time.

She'd originally intended to make a pit stop at the old Taffington Boathouse, quietly winding her way around Covenant on her way south. However, she'd shied away, ducking off the road and into the treeline, when she'd seen several people hanging around outside. The place had once been a luxurious home, but she'd helped oversee its conversion into a trading outpost and a sort of inn, and it was far too easy to get wrapped up in everyone else's needs when a bunch of people came to her asking for help all at once. She'd hoped to be able to clean herself up more, but she'd just have to make due.

Crossing the bridge over the Mystic never ceased to make her tense, the smell of gasoline still lingering pungently in the air despite the cleanup that had taken place. That tension didn't dissipate as she crept past the Wattz Electronics building, her eyes peeled for any errant robots and her head on a swivel. Her muscles protested from the strain by the time she felt comfortable enough to rise fully to her feet and walk normally again, hands massaging at the knots in her back as she continued to follow the highway to the southwest. The Med-X in her bag called her name at the ache in her hips and legs, but she refused it.

Once she'd entered the city proper, she found herself on-guard once more, pressing into a dark alley and remaining quiet as two men rounded a corner ahead of her and walked down the same road for a large handful of paces, carrying on an unintelligible conversation. Both had weapons strapped to their backs. When they'd disappeared over the crest of the hill, Nora stepped out from her hiding place and carefully resumed her path, letting out a sigh of relief when her eyes caught a familiar light ahead.

Among all the places she'd been across the Commonwealth that had an eerie touch of the Old World blues, Cabot House was high on the list. The ancient brick manor would've fit nicely into the surroundings once, back when they had been a historic, upper-class area of a major metropolitan city and not a bombed-out wasteland. Now the well-maintained house stuck out in a very distinct way, and not just because of the concrete barricades and the roaming robotic security guards. The patio lights strung overhead gave the whole "lawn" an otherworldly glow, even from a fair distance. It was a wonder that they even still worked.

Nora scuffed her side lightly as she wound her way past one of the barricades beside the big plywood sign that read "Private Property, No Trespassing" in neat white script. The lumbering sentry bot quickly approached and hovered over her threateningly, admonishing her to keep off the nearly nonexistent grass. What little greenery there was peeked out at her from the small concrete-barred jail pen that also caged in the few trees in the courtyard. The poor, long-dead things reached futilely into the dark sky, seeking the warm rays of a sun that would do them no good.

The crumbling overpass that loomed high above the place seemed nearly impossible to her now; the way it split and sagged and yet still hung menacingly in the sky made it look like something from a dream. The rumbling sound of traffic echoed in her mind as she stared up at the thing. Rather absentmindedly, she wondered how many times she'd passed this place by on her way across it without even realizing.

"This is private property. Move along." the burly machine commanded, looming over her shoulder as it followed along behind her all the way to the door. She only rolled her eyes in response.

Taking a quick moment to smooth her hair and right her clothes as much as she could, as she bent a bit at the waist, placing her mouth a little closer to the speaker as she gave the ringer a press.

"Go away." demanded a familiar, gravelly voice over the aged intercom a moment later.

"Oh, come on now. Don't be that way." she replied cheekily as she held down the talk button firmly. "I know I'm early, but you're still technically expecting me!"

"Nora? Wait just a minute."

She smirked as she leaned away from the speaker, resting her weight against the post as she waited for the door to open. A moment later, it did, revealing the source of the voice.

Edward Deegan was what Nora's mother would have once called "a tall drink of water". Though the ghoulification process had been hard on his skin and the softer, fleshier bits of his face and ears, she still thought him quite handsome, herself; broad-shouldered, slim-waisted, and soft-spoken. She'd been rather endeared on one level or another since she'd first encountered him at the Third Rail, the pair making extended eye contact over the heads of a few patrons. Since then, they'd slowly become very good friends...maybe even more than that. After the Cabots had packed up and departed, apparently to find somewhere more scenic to wither away, she'd begun visiting more often, worried about him. However, all the alone time they spent together as a result began to pique her interest about whether or not there could be something substantial between them.

Really, that's what she was here to figure out.

"Sorry about that." he smiled sheepishly, his large frame filling most of the doorway as he stood on the stoop above her. He was dressed like she was used to seeing, donning the same type of solid button-up and mended slacks that he typically wore when he wasn't dressed for the road. The shirt, untucked, hung open and revealed an undershirt that was soiled with dust and dirt.

"It's suspiciously late. I'd have been meaner, probably." she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Was never a fan of people ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night while carrying guns."

"Come in." he smirked, backing into the entryway to allow her to pass inside.

Cabot House was as surreal-feeling a place inside as it was outside. It seemed incomplete, a perception Edward had explained came from the fact that most of the house had been boarded off decades prior in order to reduce the amount of space he had to personally tend to. The layout of the rooms was off, but the amount of work put into keeping the place running and clean was impossible to miss, especially when compared to almost anywhere else she'd been since she'd woken up. All the electronics and lights functioned as they should, though most of them were turned off or dimmed thanks to the late hour. The floor and rugs were spotless, though well-trod. She could hear a washing machine running somewhere. The door closed with a solid thud behind them, fortified and weighty.

"Did you run into much trouble? You didn't walk far, did you?" he asked, a hand moving to her shoulder to give it a small squeeze.

"Nah, I was just checking in on a place down the road." she half-fibbed. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Nothing important." he hand-waved, fishing a rag out of his pocket and quickly running it over his face and head. The thing disappeared as quickly as it had materialized. "Just more house work, as always. Can I take your bag? We can stick it in the hall closet. It doesn't lock or anything."

"Thanks." she said quietly, letting her bulky pack slip off her shoulders and into his grip. In the time they both came from, it would've been a strange thing to point out, but now there was an unspoken understanding that she was showing him an immense amount of trust by giving him the bag that held most of her important things. He carried it a few feet away before tucking it into a small space beneath the stairs, holding the heavy thing easily in one hand. Nora studied his movements closely.

The massive sitting room had been noticeably rearranged. It had felt eerily large and strangely proportioned when she'd first stepped foot into it, and that had only amplified the surreal vibe of the whole place. Now, however, it felt much more like what she'd perceive to be a "normal" living room, despite its massive size. Where before the boxy, stout billiards table had stood, the couches now sat, pushed closer to the wall to crowd around a small fireplace that she recognized from the basement area. The grim portraits of the Cabot family were conspicuously missing from the walls, replaced with various other pieces of art. However, there were no shadows etched into the paint where they'd sat before, the off-white crisp and flat.

"Did you repaint?" Nora inquired.

"Had to." he replied. "The walls were pretty disgusting when I moved the paintings and furniture, and when I brought the fireplace up I had to cut into the drywall to reroute the output for the smoke."

Nora nodded along, rather fixated on the small display of just how capable the older ghoul was.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked, hands in his pockets.

"Not really, but I'd love something to drink. That last hill's a doozy."

"Absolutely. I'll grab it. Sit, sit!" he insisted, gesturing vaguely towards the couch.

"I know where the kitchen is. I can grab it!" she asserted, jockeying her way into his path and bumping him with her shoulder playfully.

"You're a guest. Sit your little ass down and let me do my job as a host." he demanded playfully, though rather aggressively, easily rerouting her with a hand on her shoulder before disappearing around the corner. Her heart raced at the contact.

Nora's tired legs twinged unpleasantly as she lowered herself down onto the edge of the plush floral couch, her hamstrings taut after her speedy walk, hips still loudly complaining about her earlier crawling around. Though she expected the rather ornate antique wooden frame to groan in protest at her weight, it didn't. Still, she kept herself balanced carefully, trying hard to not put her full weight onto the thing.

The older man held two beverage options in his outstretched hands when he reappeared: a sealed ration of water, the familiar white can stark in his grip, and a sweating brown bottle with an unfamiliar label.

"Ohh, a beer!" she smiled, accepting the white can. "I'll take this for now."

"Do you mind if I...?" he asked, holding up the bottle.

"Oh, not at all. It's your house."

"You can sit on the whole seat, you know." he quipped as he took in her precariously balanced posture.

"I don't wanna break it." she admitted, sheepish.

He chuckled good-naturedly at that, settling his much larger frame into the seat at the other end of the couch with ease, leaving a respectful cushion's-worth of space between them.

"The furniture is old, but most of it's had pretty much all the pieces replaced over the years. It's basically a new living room set." he said, twisting open the beer and throwing his arm over the back so he could turn to face her more properly.

"Ah, the Chair of Theseus." she joked, and there was an immensely warm feeling of relief when he genuinely laughed.

For a while, the two of them simply chatted, caught up, shared details about the week or so that had passed since they'd last seen one another. It felt much longer than that, she realized as she found herself leaning closer and closer. She'd missed him, missed his warm, comforting presence. Unconsciously, she wriggled her way onto the middle cushion, only a few inches between their legs as they talked on. There was hardly a pause in the conversation until Nora caught herself in an eventual yawn, eyes creeping to the old clock on the wall that revealed they'd been talking for multiple hours.

"If you're tired, you can always rest a while. There's half a dozen beds in this place, so feel free to pick one. It doesn't even have to be mine." the tall ghoul smirked facetiously, watching her closely.

"I'm filthy and my clothes are filthier. I'd hate to make a mess." the former lawyer countered bashfully.

"I mean, you could always have a shower, if you wanted." he offered.

She felt her stomach drop in pleasant surprise, eyes wide.

"Don't tease."

"No tease." he chuckled, holding his hands up playfully. "I was about to have one when I finished what I was doing. I could wash your clothes, too."

"Boy howdy, Mister Deegan. You sure do know how to woo a lady." she smiled, sinking low into the couch cushions in musing contentment. However, her hips disagreed with her chosen posture, and she quickly shot back up into a more conventional sitting position.

"Ugh." she groaned, waggling her knees to and fro, alternating circles with each leg until the ache in her joints quieted a bit.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked, genuine concern subtle, but clear in his expression.

"Ah, it's nothing. I've had problems with my hips for a while now. Bit of an annoyance, but hey! They only act up when I walk too long, run too much, squat weird, or sit wrong." she said with a sardonic, but still light edge.

"I get having aches. Wasteland's hard on your body." he replied with great sympathy.

"Oh, for sure. I didn't have hip problems at all before I had a baby, though. It started immediately afterwards. Turns out, passing a watermelon through your pelvis can really screw up your whole...setup." Nora said with attempted levity.

The remark split the air a bit funny, but neither of them expressed any discomfort.

Rather significantly, Edward knew about Shaun, unlike a great many of even her closest friends. Plenty of folks knew that she had been married in the long-long ago, but most of them didn't feel the need to ask too many questions pertaining to her husband's whereabouts; they understood loss. Her maternal status, however, remained largely under wraps. Not even John, who had been with her the first time she'd gone to view Nate's remains, knew that Nora had once been a mother. It was something she only discussed when she felt her most comfortable or most vulnerable, two things Edward drew out of her rather easily. They came from the same time, shared a lot of the same hurts, and it often felt as if the pre-War ghoul was the only person alive who truly, truly understood her. Still, it hadn't been an easy topic of discussion for her to broach initially, and he'd been wonderfully patient and empathetic.

"I wouldn't know, personally, but believe me—I trust you." he said, nearly nonexistent brows shooting up into his fully nonexistent hairline to emphasize his point. "Is it something a nice, hot soak could help?"

"Certainly." she smiled.

"I could carry you up there if you're hurting that bad." he said, his tone light, but sincere.

"Mmm, tempting. A little stretch will be good for me, though." she declined, though she instantly felt a pang of regret at doing so. Still, she tried her best to not let it show as they both rose to their feet.

"So, what were you doing when I got here?" she asked as they made their way over to the staircase, taking in the grime and dust that covered his shirt once more.

He dug absentmindedly into the pocket of his slacks and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"I was downstairs doing an inventory of all the spare parts I have for the boiler, what with winter coming up in a few months." he responded, waving the thing around for a second before tucking it away once more. "Not what I'd call thrilling work."

"Nor I." she chuckled, falling back to allow him to lead her up to the next floor, winding around a corner, then another, into a hall she'd never seen before, long and studded with a small handful of solid wood doors. At the far end, a single window was covered by gossamer curtains.

"The master suite has a really nice bed, but I don't always get around to sleeping every night. The shower gets used every day, though." Edward remarked, stopping near the end of the run and ducking through an open doorway to the right. She followed right behind him, instantly surprised at how warm the space seemed. Though it was a bit small-seeming for a main bedroom, it was almost immaculately clean and filled with a beautiful walnut furniture set that was likely older than several previous generations of Nora's family. The four-poster bed frame, standing wardrobe, the two side tables, and the frame of the large mirror standing in the corner were all matching, dark and heavy-seeming. There were three large windows, a plush reading chair settled to look out the middle one, but the only view they offered was of the crumbling wall of the building next door and a sliver of the waterfront.

"Nice bed!" she exclaimed, running her hand along the soft quilt that was laid over it. "Interesting view for a master suite, though."

Her companion's head turned toward the bay of windows once more, as if he were only then noticing.

"Ah. Well, it's not the actual master. That's up on the third floor, and all that's still boarded off. I guess I just got used to thinking of this as the main bed because Wilhelmina slept in here." he admitted, musing aloud. "Thinking about turning the linen closet across the hall into a laundry closet. Turns out the washing machine being down in the basement was only convenient when I was sleeping down there."

Nora laughed good-naturedly at that, eyes avoiding her filthy visage in the reflective glass.

"You ready to wash off?" he asked, gesturing to a smaller white door between the wardrobe and the mirror.

"You can go first! I'm patient." she replied, leaning against the side of the tall bed and giving the box spring a little bounce test.

"Nah, ladies first."

"Are you sure? I take a pretty long shower...I seem to recall, at least." she joked. "My ex-husband had a firm 'shortest shower-er goes first' rule."

The phrase "ex-husband" rolled off her tongue strangely. It almost felt like a lie, though she knew it wasn't. Not really. Perhaps in the most technical sense, since they'd never made it that far. But that sort of thing had no importance in the world she found herself in now. Besides, even if her husband hadn't all but physically left her already before everything changed, it wasn't like he was going to show up at her door and beg for her back now.

What seemed more significant was the way she felt the need to signal to this particular man that she was available.

"Is...uh, is that right?" the older man asked, looking at her a strangely for a moment. "I insist even more, then."

Little goosebumps of embarrassment raised all over her body at the grin she simply couldn't keep off her face, her eyes falling to the floor as he opened the wardrobe doors to pull out a towel. She was surprised at how clean it was, not perfectly white, but far cleaner than anything she'd had her hands on in a great long while.

"Let me show you how the knobs work." he said, leading the charge into the smaller, white-tiled room.

"I know how a shower works!" she insisted playfully, giving him a feather-light slap on the back as she pursued.

"Maybe I'll show you anyway." he smirked, leaning back enough to show her the strangest tap setup she'd ever seen. After he'd demonstrated how to turn on the water and adjust the temperature a couple of times, he dismissed himself, leaving her alone to stiffly strip out of her armor and clothing. She allowed him to take her pistol back into the bedroom. It felt strange to leave everything in a big pile on the floor, but she wasn't sure what to do with her things otherwise, skittish to step outside and accidentally be seen before she felt ready. Though she was incredibly eager, she was overly careful stepping into the tub, determined to avoid humiliation as much as possible.

The feeling of the hot water hitting her sore, grime-covered body was nearly orgasmic.

For a good few minutes, she simply allowed herself to lean against the wet tile wall, letting the soothing warmth seep into her tired muscles, massaging firmly over her shoulders and neck and sighing contentedly as she felt the knots under her hands loosen. Tugging her hair free from the messy up-do it had been wrangled into, she tilted her face into the spray and chased the tickling rivulets across her scalp with her fingers. She frowned as she looked down, noticing the sheer amount of dirt and debris that was flowing from the thick mass of strands; it would take some time to clean herself completely.

Once the work of meticulously scrubbing herself and working the major knots out of her hair was done, she allowed herself the luxury of returning to her spot against the wall and closing her eyes. The heat had already done wonders, and she felt more physically relaxed than she had at any other point in recent memory. She might've even been able to imagine she was back in the time she came from for a fleeting second, if she were that sort of person. Instead, her thoughts turned to Edward, to his strong physique and all the little moments of contact they'd had. Soon, the heat around her had seeped deep into her core, a subtle throbbing kicking up between her legs in response.

Nora let her hands trace up her body, each coming to almost absentmindedly cradle her breasts. It had been over a year since her milk had finally dried up, but she didn't allow herself to linger too long on that thought. She gave the masses of flesh a measured squeeze, but her hands weren't big enough (or rough enough, she imagined) to give her the feeling she was looking for. Palms flat, she slid her hands lower, appreciating the feeling of her clean skin.

Cautiously, she brought her left foot up to rest along the wide lip of the tub. After a deep, stabilizing breath, her fingers traced slowly along her slit, a shudder breaking down her spine as the pads just barely ghosted over her already swelling clit. She let them sink down, down, until they found her entrance. A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she probed at herself experimentally, almost clinically.

Shaun's birth had been rather traumatic for her, physically as well as psychologically, and she'd been entirely too afraid of pain or potentially re-injuring herself to try anything intimate after she'd been sent home with a squalling new baby. Sore from head to toe, exhausted, and focused entirely on caring for her son, sexual contact of any sort had been the furthest thing from her mind in the weeks leading up to their sudden move into the Vault...not that it had been an issue, anyway, with the way things had been between her and Nate by the end.

As a result of all the anxiety and preoccupation, she hadn't had so much as a finger or a tampon inside her since then, outside of a few nerve-wracking pelvic checks in the hospital when she'd still been fuzzy-brained and plied with painkillers. Her first postpartum check-up had been scheduled, but the world had ended before the appointment had come. In the immediate aftermath of the bombs falling—immediate in her eyes, at least—she'd been far too focused on pure survival to think even remotely of sex, but eventually she was too badly in need of some sort of relief to all the stress she carried to ignore her own needs any longer.

Though she could have chosen to ease her tension with some sort of substance, as the options seemed endless in the Commonwealth, she'd never developed much of a taste for booze, and she'd already met far too many people whose precarious lives were only worsened by hard drug use. Even the most necessary chem use frightened her to engage in. Sharing the occasional joint with John or Piper took some of the edge off, but ultimately, she'd been pushed to reacquaint herself with her own body...to a certain point.

The idea of penetration still worried her, unsure of exactly how well she'd healed after everything she'd gone through. True, she'd made a few physician friends in her time wandering the Commonwealth, but no one had ever taught her how to ask a friend for a pelvic exam, unfortunately, so she found herself at a loss. Besides, doctors that knew specifically about the intricacies of women's health seemed to have largely gone the way of most of the world she'd once known. It was less than encouraging.

The choice to keep the process of re-familiarizing herself with sex a solo endeavor had been, largely, a practical one. When it came to most of her friends, she wouldn't trade their company for anything, especially a quick lay, too afraid of making things weird. But, at the same time, she didn't trust any stranger enough to let them close, an instinct that had saved her life more than once. It was quite an impasse, one that left her burning for intimate contact but simultaneously terrified to ever pull the trigger on new bonds.

Now, however, she found herself wishing she'd at least stuck a toe back into the dating pool before she'd let herself become so endeared to the former steward. Maybe she'd be better off if she'd accepted one of the many drunken offers she'd been given, or gauged a cat-caller on their seriousness. But that just wasn't her. Nora needed connection, real connection, to have intimate feelings for someone, and it had been far longer than she'd ever care to admit since she'd felt the sort of connection she felt with Edward. She doubted she'd ever been made to feel so attractive and sincerely desired before. The way he often looked at her sent her heart racing, and almost as much as the fact that he didn't hide his gaze did.

Still, she was out of practice and sensed a potentially turbulent dive ahead of her.

"Mm." she grunted as her touch returned to her swollen bud, a small sound of pleasure that she immediately attempted to cover up by clearing her throat. Letting her hips move carefully against her hand, she stroked and petted at herself for a minute, letting some slickness build up along her folds. Again, her hands didn't feel quite up to the task, the vision of Edward's big, capable ones too vivid in her mind. However, just as she finally felt relaxed enough to attempt to stretch herself a little, the sudden sound of heavy footsteps in the adjacent bedroom stopped her cold. Ramrod straight, she honed her hearing and listened closely until they seemed to move away.

Just my luck.

Though she spent a bit more time enjoying the shower, eventually she felt on-edge with growing withheld tension, and she reached down to fumble with the knobs once more, briefly freezing herself in her attempt to shut the water off. Taking in the heavy humidity in the air as she pulled back the curtain, there was a slight tinge of cigarette smoke in the air that hadn't been there before. She also noticed that her clothing was missing from the floor.

"Well, how was it?" came the big ghoul's voice suddenly, much closer than she'd been anticipating, sending her jolting.

"Oh, I don't even have words." she called, her heart fluttering in her chest as she roughly dried her hair. Quickly, she wrapped herself in the towel and stepped out into the bedroom, taking in the scene.

Edward sat in the plush reading chair right beside the window, the old frame cracked open about a foot as his thick arm dangled out of it. Clenched between his long index and middle fingers was the back half of a smoldering Grey Tortoise. For a quick moment, he pulled it inside, drawing a short drag off of it before quickly jamming it back out into the open air.

"Did you save me any hot water?" he joked.

"Probably not, honestly." she admitted. "No smoking in the house, I take it."

"Don't see any reason to start now. Want one?" he offered, holding the pack out to her with his other scarred hand.

"No thanks. I quit." she replied, the smoke tickling her nose tantalizingly.

She'd painstakingly done so when she'd learned she was expecting, and it didn't seem a habit worth restarting if one wasn't already functionally immortal; after all, there were already so many other things in the world trying to hasten her death. Quitting had also made her realize how much smoking dulled her sense of taste and smell...though, frankly, that could've come in handy in some of her more modern adventures.

"Ah, shit. Sorry." he murmured, quickly stubbing out what was left of the cigarette in a slim crystal ashtray on the small table beside him. The familiar glint of the gold ring around the very tip of the filter held her gaze for a beat before she watched him fan the thin, lingering wisps of smoke out the window.

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, it's your house." she replied. "I guess I don't have to keep reminding you."

"Hmm. I don't mind. It does sound nice."

They both shared a little laugh at that, falling into a silence that lasted a few beats longer than she'd anticipated afterwards, Edward's eyes tracing over her face again and again.

"What?" she asked in a breathy, nervous chuckle.

"Your hair's longer than I thought it was. I've never seen it down like this." he noted, his eyes dragging along the length. "It's pretty."

A shy smile jumped to her lips at his compliment.

"Thanks. I've been growing it back out."

As she spoke, one of her hands made its way up to pet over the damp strands.

"Here." he said, grabbing something black and shiny from the table beside him and offering it to her. "Thought you might need that. I dunno if it's the right kind for your type of hair, though."

The fine-toothed comb was sleek and lightly scratched all over, clearly well-used. While he was correct about it not being quite proper for her curls, she smiled nonetheless, touched by the gesture.

"It'll work fine." she said, letting her fingers brush slowly over his as she accepted the thing. "Thanks."

The two let their eyes linger on one another, but Nora could feel her face growing warm and quickly turned her eyes to the bed, where she found her dirty clothes and the pieces of her light armor lying neatly across a small, quilted leather bench at the foot of the bed. She padded towards them, feet still damp against the old rug. Eyes burned into her back as she went.

"Did you decide if you wanted them washed?" her companion asked, pulling himself from the chair and moving to stand beside her.

"I don't really have anything to wear in the meantime that isn't my road leathers outta my bag." she confessed.

"You're welcome to quite literally any of Imogene’s clothing out of the boxes in her room. If not, I'm just gonna give it all away like I did with Jack's stuff." Edward replied.

She felt a sudden chill.

"I don't think that's gonna work." she said, the Cabot daughter's tall, slender figure clear as day in her mind's eye as she drew the dim white towel tighter around her naked body.

"Well, you could always take something of mine. Pants might not quite fit, though." he offered, smirking down at her.

"I think just a shirt would work fine." she smiled.

"Sure."

With that, he disappeared into the adjacent closet for a moment before reappearing with a neatly folded tee shirt. Like the towel, it was shockingly clean compared to most any other article of clothing she could normally get her hands on, but the white shade had dimmed and greyed over time.

"I'll throw them in now, if you're ready. I was gonna do mine."

"Go ahead." she replied, replacing the dirty clothes with Edward's shirt on the ottoman and rifling through them quickly. A hot flush of shame washed over her as she suddenly realized just how badly her wardrobe smelled.

Once she was satisfied she wasn't leaving anything incriminating behind, she handed the wad of clothing to the older man, gaze focused intensely as he juggled it in his big, outstretched hands. She watched as he turned and rounded the bed towards the door, studying his broad shoulders as he walked. He paused in the doorway just long enough to cast a little smile her way before disappearing out into the hall once more. Standing for a long moment as she listened to his footsteps retreating, she let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Quickly, she dropped the damp towel to the floor and pulled the soft cotton shirt over her head, noting the thinned spots under the arms and around the hips where it would be tucked into a pair of pants. She wondered just how old it was.

For a minute or two, she wandered around the room, taking in the small details. The closet had more clothing than she'd anticipated, but was no less immaculately organized. There were a couple of books on one side table, a horror novel and one about suspension bridges. Her pistol sat on the side table nearer the door, neatly polished and slotted nicely into the holster. Soon, she made her way back to the window, straining her eyes to make anything out in the dark. A sliver of the moon still peeked out around the corner of the building across the alley.

"Well, this is a pleasant sight."

Turning back towards the door at the sound, Nora took in the view of Edward, leaning against the door frame casually, donning nothing but his boxers. It was strange to see him so close to naked, she thought briefly, so used to him being mostly covered up, but she certainly wasn't complaining.

"The feeling is mutual." she mused, pride warming her chest as she barely missed a beat. "I dig the stripes."

Though she tried to keep her eyes off of his strong chest as he moved closer, she failed miserably, and he was grinning at her when their eyes met again.

"Are my dashing good looks making you nervous?" he teased.

For the briefest of moments, she felt bold, leaning in much closer than she'd ever dared before.

"Is that what you say to all the girls?" she asked, tone full of an unfamiliar sultriness.

"Or whoever." the burly ghoul replied. "Is it working?"

She gave him a playful shrug in reply.

"I guess you'll find out."

He smirked at that, letting his hand rub fully across her lower back as he passed by, only an inch or two from outright grabbing her ass.

"I'll be out in a few." he said.

Retrieving the comb from the ottoman and clenching the plastic body tightly, she flashed him a hopefully-not-too nervous smile as he disappeared into the still-steamy en-suite, the heavy wooden door clicking softly closed behind him. A chill remained in the room from the previously open window as she stood there alone, soaking in the quiet around her. That singular, low-level flirtation seemed to have zapped all of her courage.

Shuffling back and forth on her feet as she eyed the exit out into the hallway, she lingered near the big standing mirror, staring at herself. Veritably clean for the first time in what felt like several lifetimes, surrounded by comforts and conveniences she had once been very familiar with, she hardly recognized the woman staring back at her.

Squirming a bit, she took in the way Edward's oversized shirt fell over her frame, the hem hanging down to nearly her knees. The shape of her was largely obscured by the loose garment, but a slight breeze tickled up beneath it and sent her damp skin prickling. Off to her side, the shower roared to life once more, followed quickly by the hiss of the curtain sliding back and forth. The house groaned quietly in reply, the old pipes making their presence known. She took a deep, steadying breath. Delicately, she lifted the hem up to her collarbones, her other hand fidgeting as she took in her nude reflection in the polished glass.

Her body still hadn't fully recovered from all the pregnancy-related changes.

Stretch marks still reached all the way along her torso, faint tiger stripes that ran the length of her flanks and hips, peeked out from between her inner thighs. Some had been there before, but many hadn't. Her breasts, previously painfully engorged, had deflated as her supply had dried out, leaving them flatter-looking than they'd once been. They were decorated with their own faint lines along the sides, silvery and sunken into the warm flesh.

Though she'd chopped her hair nearly to her chin during her third trimester, too swollen and tired to bother with keeping her formerly long locks tidy (something that only intensified once there was an actual baby to take care of), it almost reached the middle of her shoulder blades as she swung it subtly to and fro, long, damp tendrils tickling her back and outlining her face.

She set to fidgeting in discomfort once more when her eyes fell back to her middle, still softer, fuller than before, even after a collective number of months of near-constant food insecurity. Some of that same weight clung to her thighs and the meat of her rear, filled out her upper arms. There were days where she actually appreciated the new softness, thought it emphasized her femininity, but there were others where she simply felt embarrassed at the way her body clung to the extra fat when so many people around her were blatantly emaciated.

A rather loud voice in her ear chastised her to be gentler with herself; Nora had always been curvier, never one to be naturally model-thin. She'd never minded it. Throughout her teen years, she may have dealt with the occasional spate of self-consciousness or mild peer pressure, but there had never been anything about her physical self that had made her truly uncomfortable. Her body was her body, perfectly functional and the only one she had, so she couldn't really bring herself to hate it. Besides, Edward hadn't known her before the bombs, before the baby, so he had no frame of reference as to how she'd looked in the days before she'd gotten married. The way she appeared in the mirror was how she'd always been to him. She knew that.

Despite her nagging insecurity, her mind kept jumping to the way his eyes would often move to trace over her body when he thought she wasn't looking. Still, she felt a strange sense of unease, of alienness, the longer she looked, more and more perceived flaws jumping to her attention. Soon, she let the shirt fall back into place.

It wasn't the way she looked that gave her pause, exactly, but the unshakable feeling that the body she was in no longer felt quite like hers.

As the next few minutes ticked by, Nora couldn't quite choose a place to be. She flitted from the mirror to the bedside, to the overstuffed chair beside the window and back again, picking through her hair and radiating anxiousness. The narrow-toothed comb wasn't the ideal tool for working through her thick mane, but a proper paddle brush with teeth was hard to come by, and it was adequate to tackle most of the major tangles, given enough patience. Even though her sense of time had always been fairly poor, her nerves only made each minute pass with increasing speed. Leaning against the side of the tall bed, fiddling with her makeshift nightgown, her heart raced. For the briefest of moments, she considered simply pulling herself all the way up onto the thing and waiting for him. However, when she caught her own glance in the mirror once more, she wussed out, her bare feet slapping quietly against the polished wood of the hallway floor as she quickly absconded to the stair case.

The living room was surprisingly warm, Nora noted, pleased to find that Edward had made time to light a small fire in the fireplace while she'd showered. The empty beer bottle was missing from the side table. The former Sanctuary resident paced around the large space as she braided and tucked her finally detangled hair back away from her face, the shirt tickling around her thighs with her movements. Upstairs, the pipes still groaned and grumbled. By the time she'd discarded the old comb on the low coffee table, the creaking overhead had stopped.

Suddenly fidgety again, Nora made her way over to the stereo setup that took up most of the media stand against the far wall. It was in especially pristine condition. She'd been tempted to fiddle with it during previous visits, but always found herself too intimidated, too wrapped up in the feeling of being a guest in someone else's nice home. The drawers of the wooden cabinet beneath were full of tapes when she carefully slid them open, many of which she remembered once owning herself, in another life.

Fiddling with the buttons and knobs, the thing flickered to life. Scanning through the drawers, she found an old, slow jazz bit that she'd once loved to relax to. It was beautifully composed, low-key and sort of sexy. Carefully pulling the plastic hunk from its spot in the fray, she hit the eject button on the machine. When the tape deck opened, she gasped quietly, a chill blooming like freshly formed ice crystals down her spine. Looking back at her was an old rock single, the bright red tape and white text unmistakable.

It had been Nate's favorite song.

Her eyes shut tight as her head spun, a pressure building behind them. Behind her, she sensed movement.

"It's sorta weird to see someone act like they know how to use this thing." Edward said from

behind her, his hands coming to settle astride hers on the wood surface, the rest of his tall body nudging right into her bubble. Nora tried her best to not tremble as she let herself relax until her back was lightly touching his chest.

"Yeah, I might be a little rusty, but I seem to remember my way around." she said, her voice lightly cracking with the ghost of the tears she'd barely managed to chase away. "Is this yours?"

He leaned down over her shoulder, pulling the tape in her hand a few inches closer to his squinting eyes.

"Ugh, no." he replied, pulling a face. "Must've been Jack's. Maybe Lorenzo's, but I doubt it. I'll throw it in one of the dozen boxes of stuff I need to get rid of. Unless you'd wanna keep it?"

Nora shook her head silently, her eyes glued to the dials on the stereo again as she let him remove the thing from her grip. A heavy feeling settling into her chest for a passing moment, she turned to fully face him, burying her face against his chest. Without missing a beat, Edward wrapped his arms around her warmly, massaging at her shoulder.

"Something wrong, honey?" he asked, and the little pet name made her mouth curl into a sort of relieved smile.

"No, nothing." she said, betraying herself with a small, quick sniffle. "You know how it is."

Though her ghoulish partner didn't say anything, he didn't really need to. He allowed her a quiet moment to her sort herself out, and she appreciated his sense of tact.

"I always liked this song." Edward remarked after a minute or two, referring to the track that softly filled the room as he rubbed comfortingly at her back.

"Oh, me too." she sighed in reply, leaning her face a degree or two more towards the floor and covertly wiping at her cheeks. "I haven't heard it since I woke up."

For a moment, the pair swayed back and forth together, Nora's arms winding their way up around his neck as she let her face rest against his chest. Neither moved to pull away when the song ended, the quiet clicking of the tape resetting itself in the deck the only sound for a few beats.

"Pretty light on your feet for someone so tall." she mused, a small amount of that earlier sultriness back in her voice as she let her hand graze across the strong planes of his chest for a moment. When she was done, she straightened herself back to her full height once more, putting a couple of inches between them again.

"After a lot of practice." he replied. "Someone's flirty."

"I bet." she responded wryly, blushing again. "And I try. I'm not quite so practiced myself. At least, not recently."

"Is that right?" Edward said with a chuckle. "I find that hard to believe."

"That is right. I'm shocked you hadn't already picked up on that from the incredibly graceful series of moves I've attempted to put on you."

"Oh, come on." he said, a dubious glint in his gaze as he narrowed it at her. "You're so full of it. Look me in my eyes and tell me that you don't get hit on all the time. You're gonna tell me Hancock's never made a pass at you?"

Though his tone was teasing, playful, there was something tangibly real about the way he spoke about John. Nora couldn't quite tell what it was. Caution? Jealousy?

"John makes passes at everyone." was her only reply to his question.

"That's true." he acknowledged. "Still not what I mean. Come on now, counselor."

Her cheeks were bright pink at his needling, but she was able to look right at him when she responded.

"We're just friends."

"I've never known Hancock to be 'just friends' with anyone." he replied, well and truly showing his hand.

"That's a little rich coming from you, from what I've heard." Nora shot back, mostly ribbing, but ever-so-slightly defensive. She covered her nerves with a smirk.

Fortunately, the older man snorted a laugh at her remark, tossing his head playfully.

"Fair. But my point stands." he rebutted.

"As does mine." she said, leaning towards him until her breasts nearly touched his chest again. "You know, I didn't take you for the jealous type, Edward."

"I'm really not, usually."

"You and John have some kind of competition I don't know about going on?" she inquired, showing a flash of her own hand.

"Nah, I just really like you." he said simply.

Nora found herself struggling for words at that, a grin tugging so hard at the corners of her mouth that her eyes dropped to the floor. Her face felt hot for a long beat, until a sudden breeze blew across the hardwood floor and tickled its way up the open hem of the shirt. She shivered at the sensation.

"Ugh, that reminds me—one of the windows has a draft leaking in, but I haven't gotten around to taking care of it." he said, the heat of his rough palms soaking into her upper arms as he rubbed them softly. "Come sit down and warm up, sleepy."

His touch didn't leave her as they both turned, one hand snaking down to wrap around her own. Her heart raced at the gesture as he led her back across the room to the couch. As they sunk down into the overstuffed cushions together, Edward pulled her right up against his side like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"It's such a big place to take care of. I'm sure you have no shortage of work." she observed, trying to hide her excitement as she let her head rest against his shoulder.

"Yeah, it is. The house is old, and a lot of it is still boarded off, but I'd like to get it opened back up. Maybe rent out a few of the rooms or something. Much as I like a good retirement joke, I know I'll be bored the minute I run out of projects to work on."

And maybe a little lonely. Nora thought.

"I understand the feeling. I'm always happy to help out. Dunno much about swinging a hammer or anything, but I can hold a broom, or a paintbrush, or whatever." she said.

"I'll definitely take you up on that."

She gave a warm grin at that, but it cut itself off with a small yawn.

"Sleepy?" he asked.

"Mm. Comfy, more like." she replied, her voice a low, contented murmur, letting her eyes close lightly.

The older man didn't say anything for a long lull, his arm coiling tighter around her shoulder. Outside, there was the quiet rumble of thunder rolling overhead, a slight breeze pushing at the windows.

"Sounds like I had good timing getting here." she observed.

"I'll say. I'm really happy you're here, Nora."

Her eyes popped open once more at this, gaze tilting up to find him already looking down at her.

"Me too." she smiled, warm and happy and nervous all over again.

"I think you're so beautiful." he said, eyes not leaving hers as he carefully cupped her exposed cheek. Her face once again lit up hotter than the fire beside them at his remark. It was a wonder his hand didn't burn.

"You're not so bad yourself." she murmured, just barely managing to avoid stumbling over her words or breaking out into a fit of inopportune giggles.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

The question knocked around the inside of Nora's seemingly empty head for a moment, and she could feel herself hesitating in her overwhelming eagerness. Her tongue was fat and awkward in her mouth, and she felt the acidic tang of panic begin to burn at the back of her throat. Quickly, she pushed herself a few inches closer, hoping he would read into what few movements she could force her frozen body to perform.

Mercifully, he seemed to read her quite clearly.

Their first few kisses were subdued, exploratory little pecks as they shifted their bodies nearer to one another. Edward's lips were thin and a bit dry feeling, but they were soft like well-worn leather and quite lithe. His hand crept steadily up to her knee, massaging there a bit until he felt it safe to move higher, kneading at the strong muscle of her upper thigh. She pulled herself even closer in excitement, their chests pressed together, an increasing heat building on the tip of both of their tongues as they began to peek out and rub together.

His palms were rugged, like she'd imagined, but his touch was soft as he let his hand glide up the rest of her thigh and over the soft hill of her belly, the dim off-white of the cotton shirt bunching up over his wrist and forearm as he attentively explored her skin. For a few minutes, he kept his caresses to more polite places, rubbing and at her flanks, the soft expanse of her back, her hips. However, that didn't last long, and soon he was gently palming at her breasts, drawing a little gasp from her nose at the feeling.

"Hmm," she hummed, pressing herself further into his caress.

He seemed to like her response, one hand eagerly moving to cup the back of her head, further deepening their kisses as the fingers still playing at her chest rolled one of her nipples between them, softly at first, and then a little harder. Nora shivered at the sensation and gave a small whimper into his mouth.

"That feel good?" he asked, pulling away just long enough for her to nod once.

For a while, the pair stayed that way, trying their best to feast on one another as Edward's assault on her chest continued. He alternated between each nipple, tugging and pinching until they were both puffy and incredibly sensitive. Eventually, he pulled his mouth from hers, only to reseal it to the side of her throat, teasing her further with his tongue.

The hem of the shirt she wore slowly made its way north, and soon, thanks to Edward's encouragement, it had wriggled all the way up to her collarbones, her whole bare front exposed. She squirmed a bit at her own nakedness, but the man seemed too taken with the sight to let her stew in it, his mouth dropping down to her chest to seal around one of her abused nubs. The feeling was electric, and she remained just clear-headed enough to feel chagrined at the way her neglected pussy ached and throbbed, pressing more of her weight down against his thick thigh desperately and mewling at the sensation.

"Fuck, you're so sexy." he growled into her chest, his hands grabbing at her hips and pulling her all the way into his lap, allowing her to grind herself along his leg more effectively. That drew a full-throated moan from her, her head falling back as she cradled his head.

Her breathing grew heavier, more strained the longer she was rocked back and forth, the soft cotton of the casual pants he wore slowly growing damper as the time passed. But no matter how good it felt, it wasn't enough stimulation to make her cum. He must've been able to sense her growing frustration, as one of his hands paused its continuing exploration of all the skin he could reach to make its way south.

"Careful." she breathed as it lightly ghosted over her innermost thigh, a hair's breadth from her bare mound, her whole back stiffening before she could stop herself.

"We don't have to do anything else if you don't want to, Nora." he replied, moving his grip back into the more neutral territory of her knee.

She expected to find disappointment, or maybe hurt, in his eyes when she lifted her own to them, but if he felt either, he hid it well.

"I want to." she blurted so quickly that pinpricks of discomfiture immediately rose along her forearms. "I do. It's just been a long time. I'm nervous. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Do you mind if I ask how long? Cold nap excluded, obviously. I'm not sure that time counts." he smiled softly, offering her a crumb of levity as they both tried to slow their breathing.

"Ah...about two years, then, I guess." she confessed, squirming in discomfort. "The last time was before I found out I was pregnant, so it sort of feels like a hundred lifetimes ago, you know?"

Though his expression was still quite covert, she could see a flash of what almost looked like intrigue.

"I get it. A lot has changed since then."

"And how." she sighed dramatically, some repartee of her own.

When the giggle they shared had died down, Nora leaned close again, her mind returning to their previous activity. Edward's hand remained comfortingly on her knee.

"We can go slow." he promised, and she nodded once more before sealing her mouth back over his.

Despite her feelings of self-consciousness and apprehension, it didn't take long at all for the two of them to build themselves right back up to where they had been, gripping at one another with feverish need. Still chasing some sort of relief to the growing ache deep in her gut, Nora rutted the softness of her belly against his bulge, a small smile touching the corners of her lips at the grunt he let out in return. He felt big, and she shuddered in both desire and apprehension.

"Is this alright?" he asked as he slipped his hand back between them, letting the backs of his fingers rub against the coarse patch of hair between her thighs. She nodded, eyes closed.

Still mindful of her anxiousness, he didn't jump straight to anything too intense, petting lightly at the wet curls and teasing her sensitive mons. His other hand kneaded absentmindedly at her breast. When he let his fingers press hard enough that he finally grazed her clit, even though it was only for a brief second, she huffed out his name in relief. Suddenly less nervous than she'd anticipated, she pressed her hips down towards his hand as best as she could, silently begging for more.

He teased her for a while, carefully tracing over every inch of her again and again with just enough pressure to make her whine. Eventually, though, he showed her some mercy, twisting his wrist so that he could brush his thumb against her hard peak more firmly. Curses from her lips in a labored huff, her whole body slumping against his as she slowly became liquid in his arms. She briefly stiffened again when his touch swept down far enough to ghost across her opening, but he didn't linger there, gathering more wetness to ease the friction of his rubbing. Her hips had begun to protest her posture, but she ignored the pain.

Before long, Nora could feel herself tensing for a much different reason. Her thighs flexed and slacked as she felt herself mounting the peak, rolling her pelvis and whining incomprehensible, quiet gibberish into the soft shirt he wore. He growled along with her whining, his teeth gritted hard as she wriggled in his lap. The hand that had previously occupied itself at her breast jumped to the back of her neck again, clasping there and holding her firmly in place.

"I'm—ah..." she gasped suddenly, her entire core balled into a tight fist.

"Fuck yes, baby. Cum for me." he hissed, tone and language so gruff and unfamiliar and thrilling.

It didn't take much more for her to begin spasming against him, grunting and huffing her way through an overwhelming orgasm. As she continued to twitch with aftershocks of pleasure, Edward petted gently at her back. She buried her sweaty face in his neck, placing a long line of soft pecks there. Though she'd begun to calm, she could still feel his very apparent need against her, and her kisses soon grew long and wet, her tongue tracing along the side of his throat like he'd done to her. He groaned loud and deep in response, grinding against her unconsciously.

Her hand traced carefully along his lower abdomen, dancing clumsily along the firm plane. The muscles there twitched tensely at her mild attentions, and her own clenched around nothing in reply. Exploratively, she let her palm graze his thigh. Almost immediately, his big hand brushed firmly over the back of her own, drawing a playful giggle from her as his fingers curled around her wrist. At first, she'd thought he'd been attempting to hold her hand, or something similar. Instead, he led her touch a few inches lower, earning a dramatic gasp from her when her hand made contact with what he'd been directing her towards.

"It's alright. He doesn't bite." the huffing ghoul grinned lewdly at her expression.

She struggled to find the words to respond between her suddenly thick tongue and dry throat. He felt even bigger than she'd previously thought through the leg of his lightly-patched trousers, quite intimidatingly so. However, she let her hand pet against it measuredly, showing him her interest despite the nerves she felt, and he quickly indulged himself (as well as her) further, pressing her hand along the full length of him. It didn't take long until she'd gained enough confidence to start stroking him fully of her own accord, focusing her touches towards the tip to draw out more of the delicious throaty noises it inspired from him.

Edward's hands didn't stay unoccupied, however, quickly gripping at her hips again to shuffle her weight around a bit. Smoothly, he pivoted both of them to lay Nora down on her back, his shirt falling back down over her as he pulled himself up over her. He started to lead her leg up onto his shoulder, but there was a sudden pinching pain in her hip that made her cry out.

"Ooh, sorry, sweetheart." he cooed apologetically, placing a few sweet kisses to her kneecap as he readjusted her leg to lie along his side instead. The angle was much more comfortable, and she gave him an approving smile.

She flinched once more, smaller, when his fingers suddenly dipped down to her entrance again. Every nerve ending was electrified in the wake of her orgasm, and the borderline overstimulation had quickly clouded her mind. However, the tall ghoul's large hand so close to where she both did and didn't want it, slicing through the haze and making every nerve light up. He seemed to notice her trepidation, though, shielding her with his big body as he leaned down to place his lips to hers again.

Before, their kisses had been like a hurricane making landfall, forceful and overwhelming as they threatened to drown her, but now they were more like the tide rolling in, building slowly and rhythmically, washing over her. It was an effective tack; his tongue was beyond distracting as it slipped back into her mouth, dancing and winding softly, but fluidly around her own, more than enough to hold her focus as his fingers continued with their task.

A needy whine escaped her when he softly began to stroke over her clit again, the sensation sharp against her tender flesh. He didn't focus his touch there, however, letting his long middle finger glide from her bud to her opening and back again, slowly building her up into a wet, throbbing mess again. Carefully, he let his index finger join in, slipping both appendages up and down along her slit. She clenched hard around nothing, her body begging for more, and she pushed her pelvis at his hand wordlessly, her whole body covered in goosebumps.

"You ready?" he asked breathlessly, his mouth barely pulled away from hers.

She nodded wordlessly, hiding her face in his throat.

It didn't hurt as he began to slowly work one thick finger inside her, but there was a palpable tightness in her pelvic muscles. She tried to breathe deeply, drawing steadily in and out in an attempt to relax herself further. It helped a bit, and soon he seemed to succeed in pushing as deep as he could with his hand. He stayed still for a few moments, letting her wriggle her hips and adjust to him.

While the tension was still there and a bit uncomfortable, there was no horrible pain or sign that there was something terribly wrong with her, as she'd feared for so long. It bolstered her confidence, and she let herself rock experimentally against him, letting out an approving coo when he carefully rotated his wrist to tend to her clit with his thumb again. For a long while, they fell into a rhythm of kisses and nibbles, his hand largely static between her legs as he continued to strum at her sensitive peak.

Soon, though, they both grew tired of the teasing, and Nora let her hips move a little more fluidly, a small bit of the length of his finger withdrawing and sinking back into her. The stretch felt significant, and when combined with his continued thrumming against her, she moaned loudly. He let out a soft groan of his own in reply, the sharp ridge where his nose had once been digging into her flesh as he sucked hard on her neck.

"Fuck." she shuddered at the sharp sensation, bucking hard against his hand unconsciously and keening at the way he filled her.

"You're doing so good." he praised.

The former Vault resident's grip on reality was rapidly slipping. Her hips were back to undulating almost uncontrollably against him, curses and praises dropping in equal amounts from her mouth as she fucked herself on his fingers. Edward was losing himself, as well, grinding his clothed erection feverishly against her bare thigh as he clenched her close to his chest.

"God, I wanna fuck you so bad." he muttered, burying his face into her hair and digging his grip into the meat of her ass.

Something about what he said made her gut clench just the right way, and Nora was off to the races again, almost gagging from the way everything suddenly seized up and began to flutter. Edward seemed to be praising her as she came, but her ears were full of nothing but the sound of her own rushing blood.

Her head spun as every muscle in her body continued to twitch and spasm in the wake of her orgasm, but she clung to the man on top of her as best as she could, willing him to not pull away. She was covered in a rapidly cooling sheen of sweat, the flames in the fireplace long reduced to a pile of grey, cold ash. Thankfully, he was able to read her quite easily once again, and carefully laid himself over her, chin resting lightly along her collar bone as they cuddled close. She could feel his heart thundering in his chest against her, slowly calming along with her own. In a mix of exhaustion and bliss, her heavy eyelids fell shut.

She hadn't felt herself fall asleep, but she jolted awake with a bit of a start.

"Sleepy." Edward accused, a low murmur in her ear from in the same place she'd left him.

"Am not." she argued, voice thick.

She flushed with embarrassment that she'd fallen asleep during their little rendezvous, but she was tired, and if there was anyone who wouldn't judge her for being fatigued, it was the ghoulish former steward. Reluctantly, she let him sit up and withdraw, pulling himself up onto his feet and giving his back and dramatic stretch. Grinning at the display, she fought her way into a sitting position, righting the big shirt she wore and smoothing her lightly mussed hair.

"Alright, I suppose I'll take you up on your offer to rest." she yielded, struggling to her feet. Her tired limbs felt loose and heavy, and her high level of pure relaxation only made it more difficult to hold her head up.

She let out a rather over-dramatic gasp in surprise when the tall man stooped down and quickly grabbed her up into his arms, juggling her weight until he was properly holding her, bridal-style.

"Time for bed." he said simply, and she chuckled at the gesture, arms wrapped around his neck once again.

The living room of Cabot House was dark, only a few dim lights and the growing violet tint of early twilight illuminating the space. However, her lover had no trouble navigating his way through the furniture, smoothly making his way up the stairs. Exhausted, sleep gripped at her as she allowed herself to be carried away. There was no ugly pit of guilt in her stomach, no shadow watching her from the corner, only the feeling of closeness between them as she let her head slump against Edward's shoulder, drifting off into unconsciousness.

[applebutter-and-cinnamon]

Picture of Mine

Pairing: Joe Rantz x OC (Sadie)

Warnings: Jealousy

A/N: This was originally going to be something else but I ended up scrapping the idea. That being said, I thought it was cute and wanted to share it anyway. I hope y'all enjoy!

The Boys in the Boat Masterlist

This is not meant to be a reflection of the real person that was portrayed in the Boys in the Boat. It is a work of fiction.

Sadie wasn't ignorant. Shy, yes. More reserved than some of the other girls her age, also yes. But she was most definitely not ignorant and as a result of having a set of working eyes, she knew that her boyfriend was incredibly good looking.

Joe was the sort of man that turned heads when he walked across campus, not just for his height, but also because of his ocean blue eyes and golden curls, gracing those around him as a modern day Achilles.

Joe seemed to be completely oblivious to the attention he received, which Sadie had mixed feelings about. On the one hand, it was a really good feeling and a confidence boost to know that her boyfriend only had eyes for her, to the point where they never wandered from her own. On the other, it meant that Sadie had to put up with handfuls of girls her age ogling her boyfriend, not even caring that she was the one on his arm and holding his attention.

"Are you trying to burn a hole through that girls brain?" Lily asked her, sipping on a glass of water beside her.

Sadie rolled her eyes, loosing sight of the girl that was making eyes at Joe while he was being interviewed by, who Sadie was guessing was the girl's father. The boathouse was crowded with a handful of reporters eager to speak with the boys ahead of their race in Poughkeepsie. A few of the reporters who were fans of the sport themselves, brought along some of their family members to meet with the boys.

Normally, this wouldn't be something that bother Sadie. She understood that due to Joe's position in the boat that sometimes he would have other responsibilities that took priority to giving her his undivided attention. What bothered her this time in particular was the young group of girls that had sneaked their way inside with the reporters and were doing all that they could to flirt with the boys.

She turned her head, scanning the room as she did. It seemed she wasn't the only girlfriend that was getting frustrated with the situation in front of them, though none of them wanted to put their boy in a bad position with their coach either. Beside her, Caroline tensed as a tall, blonde girl placed her hand on Don Hume's arm. Her jaw clenched so hard that Sadie worried that she might crack a tooth.

"This can't last too much longer, can it?" She asked the girls around her.

The girls around her shrugged and mumbled under their breath, daring the girls surrounding the boys to take it just one step further so they could step in.

Sadie took a deep breath to calm her anger. She wished that Joe would just take a step back and be a bit more rude than he naturally was. Alas, she knew the man she was in a relationship with and knew that he would never do anything to embarrass a young girl especially in front of a reporter.

Sadie knew that Joe wouldn't see it as the girl going after him, no, he would see it as a young girl trying to find her way into the papers. Joe would be leaving with her, they both knew it, Sadie just wanted the girl beside him to know it too.

Coach Ulbrickson's head turned in their direction for a moment as he spoke with a photographer before his hand lifted and pointed at them. Beside him, his wife, Mrs. Ulbrickson, his a smile behind her hand.

"Those girls over there," he said loudly. As one, all the boys turned to pay attention to them for the first time in about two hours, "Are the better halves to my boys. They keep an eye on 'em when I can't."

Joe lost the tightness in his shoulders as he locked eyes with her and he smiled at her, the one he saved just for her. Sadie fought the blush coloring her cheeks at the devotion in his gaze. She drew up her courage and blew a kiss in Joe's direction.

Joe's smile turned cocky and shot a wink back at her.

Sadie couldn't find it in herself to feel bad for the girl beside her who's mouth fell open on witnessing their interaction. The girl looked between the two of them before hurrying away from Joe.

"How about a picture?" Coach Ulbrickson suggested to the photographer, after his wife whispered something to him, urging the man forward to where the girls were sitting.

"Oh no-"

"That's really not necess-"

"No one would want a picture of all of -"

The girls spoke over one another as they tried to convince the photographer not to take their picture. Sadie knew she had to be bright red by now, she wasn't ready to have her picture taken and even if she was, who would want to see it?

The boys interest was growing now and they began stepping away from the reporters and moving closer to the girls.

Sadie could see the bright smile that was taking over Joe's face as he whispered something to Shorty, who laughed and nodded enthusiastically to whatever he had said.

"Well, I think it's a fantastic idea," Mrs. Ulbrickson interrupted the girls protests. Turning to her husbands crew, she asked, "Don't you boys think that a picture of the girls would be a nice addition to the article?"

A chorus of "Yes Ma'am!" erupted around the boathouse.

That was all it took for Sadie to find herself in the middle of the girls, being positioned by the photographer for a picture that would end up in the Seattle newspaper. She tempered her discomfort by glaring at Joe who seemed absolutely elated by the fact that the attention was on her and not him. He, and all of the other boys now, were completely ignoring the reporters around them, focusing entirely on the group of girls that they had brought with them into the boathouse that afternoon.

Sadie bit her lip at the sudden influx of attention and locked eyes with Joe again. Even with the distance between them, she could see his eyes soften as they met hers. He looked around him to make sure nobody was watching and then pulled the silliest face she had ever seen him make.

A surprised giggle forced it's way out of her throat just as the camera flashed in front of her.

She blinked and the photographer gave them the all clear to disperse. Sadie was in front of Joe and gripping his hand before another word could be spoken.

"Hey there," he whispered, bending down to deliver a swift kiss to her forehead. "I'm stealing a copy of that picture you know?"

Sadie groaned and turned to bury her face in his chest.

[vacantgodling]

character driven worldbuilding -- how becoming obsessed with ONE guy can make you build an entire world

PT 1: THE GUY WHO MADE ME REVAMP THE MAGIC SYSTEM

cheesy title but that's the most straightforward explanation i can give for what i'm talking about for the next few Structured Posts lmao.

yesterday, i made a poll asking for y'all to vote on which one of the story-defying characters in my huge fantasy wip THE CHRONICLES OF LATHSBURY (tcol) that you all wanted to hear about. and when i say story-defying, what i mean is the exploration of these characters influenced me to make huge changes to the worldbuilding i had already established for this wip.

but let me provide a bit of background: i've had tcol as a wip since i was 12 years old, which, at the time of writing this, makes it 15 years old! it's actually the oldest of all my still active wips (alongside vampires don't take road trips). those who know me and/or have seen me rant about this wip in the past know that this game started evolving from a jrpg that i had as a child, and what i call the main five from the fourth age, were/are at the epicenter of this wip's development--and this is important to mention to explain how this guy made me revamp the magic system.

back when tcol was first in its baby years, it actually didn't have a concrete magic system like some of you are familiar with. for those that aren't: tcol has a magic system consisting of 8 usable magics and 1 that is unusable by normal folk and is only usable by the central creation goddess--but i'll be talking about her in a different part of this mini series. but anyway, i eventually started the baby steps of creating a magic system when i first decided the aspects of the terranean soul--which was somewhere around 2020 actually.

have an excerpt from my 2025 revamped crash course doc that explains it further:

All Terranean souls are made up of 3 parts: Sana which is akin to health and vitality and tends to relate to your constitution; Cava which is considered a lukewarm manifestation of the everpresent chaos of the universe; and Ars which is the key component of being able to do magic. These parts are imperfect percentages, meaning that they do not have to equal 100%, and for the most part, these percentages cannot change, only your access to them does (except for in exceptional circumstances). In order to use magic, your soul must contain at least 30% Ars (for the most part—there are a few who are exceptions to this rule). Without this, you will be unable to use magic.

with this information in hand, i decided that i would take the main five (which consists of the characters piper, deux, san, clear, and forte) and i would figure out their percentages--which, while may not make an appearance in the wip proper, would help me better gauge their magic capabilities. for this rant, it's not really important to know the percentages of everyone (and truth be told i've misplaced the doc i wrote it on anyway); what does matters is that when i got around to clear, the conversation kinda went like this (and be warned, we're skating into spoiler territorry so quit while you're ahead if you want but i Like spoilers and there's no way to explain this without spoilers so be forewarned):

me: okay, your turn buddy: what's your ars percentage? clear: 30% me: oh, great so you can use magic then! that's great because you're a medic- clear: i can't use healing magic. me: what clear: i can't use healing magic me: yeah--i heard you the first time but what do you MEAN by that?? you can't use healing magic?? i mean, you have sana, don't you?

(to explain, have another excerpt from my 2025 crash course doc that explains healing magic, aka, sana inanem:

SANA INANEM is essentially healing magic—however, it is gatekept by the composition of your soul: only those who have an excess of Sana (which would be over 55%) are able to use it to heal wounds. Excess is determined essentially, by how much Sana you can give away without outright killing yourself

okay back to the drama)

clear: i don't me: YOU DON'T???????????

and yeah, he doesn't.

now what clear said isn't technically true--there is (1) kind of healing magic that you can use without needing sana OR ars yourself, and that's just the potion/salve making magic subortus. but that's neither here nor there because what matters is the simple fact: to be a guild medic, you need to be able to heal with sana. it's nonnegotiable. and since this entire plot is centered on guilds and guild culture in terrae, it had me going ????????

this relates a lot to the secret of clear's backstory that he's desperately trying to hide, which some close friends do know but for the purposes of this doc and to cut back on the amount of spoilers i'm dumping in here i won't detail. however, that's something i've known about clear even since before making strides in trying to figure out hwo magic works--and that could be an entire rant for another day how my obsession with (1) clear brightendale lead me down the path of completely revamping this Entire wip, but that's a song and dance for another post lol.

ANYWAY, i took this information, and started processing it when clear dropped the bombshell on me that made me start really cultivating what the fuck magic even is in this universe:

clear: i can use a different kind of magic though me: vis? i mean, that makes sense since you have the ars- clear: no, its different than that. another kind of magic. me: .... there's more than just vis, sana inanem, and subortus?? clear: yah :)

and there is.

that revelation sent me scrambling to worldbuild--and i wouldn't actually come up with something concrete in this realm until nearly 3-4 years after the fact. but have the final little explanation i will drop in here from my crash course doc, relating to the different kinds of magic:

Like every good fantasy world, Terrae has magic. I would consider Terrae’s magic to have a range of hard magic to soft magic and types that are inbetween. On the scale of hard to soft magic the flow chart would be as follows: MURAM -> CANTATIO -> SANA INANEM -> DIRUAM -> SUBORTUS -> LUMINE -> TENOM -> VIS With Muram (or alchemical magic) being the hardest as it has the most in depth rules and regulations to precede its usage, and Vis being the softest as it is literally the magic of the force of will; anything goes. The only magic that I have not included on this flow chart is Cantillo (or deep magic), which is only able to be used by the goddess of the universe, IISIDIA. Those who are able to use magic are called Artisans.

so i guess, to make this entire rant semi-helpful to those who read it and actually want some advice on how to do some character-driven worldbuilding:

the fun thing about fantasy is you can do whatever you want as long as it makes sense within the constraints of the universe you've made. i find that a lot of people tend to build the world first and then fit their characters into that world, but i prefer to have the two interact with one another: because like nature and nurture, your world should have an impact on who your character is, why they do the things that they do, and how they see things overall. beyond just backstory even, like in this instance. to explain why clear was a medic without having access to sana inanem, it made me think about well what exactly does it entail to be able to do magic at all. and even though the answer is the same: clear cannot do healing magic; it now makes more sense as a plot thread as to why that's a big deal, and how many secrets he's carrying and why he's carrying them. even though, only One of the magics i listed is the one he can use creating the other 8 made me think about the relationship that other characters i didn't even mention-such as karenza who clear really looks up to-have with magic and how that influences them, their lives, and their actions.

hopefully in the next ramble (whenever i get around to it) i'll be breaking down even further into how wanting a specific backstory for your character can lead you to shape the world around them so seamlessly that it seems like the world influenced your character and not the other way around :)

if you stuck around for all this, thanks for reading and i hope this made sense lol :)

[mxtantrights]

no ordinary human

a/n: okay so after this, will be a final part. I didn't have any idea y'all would like it this much but thank you so much for the notes and the comments! fair warning since it's gonna end soon, buckle up because I wanna give you some angst. I hope you enjoy!

The wind feels good against your skin. You hadn't been able to just sit down and relax for a while now. And by a while you mean three years. That's how long you've been here for.

Three years of living in another place and longing for home.

Three years of several unanswered questions.

You lean your head back and close your eyes, holding your arms out. Work had been busy these past few weeks. And you haven't taken any time for yourself in between that and trying your best to understand your place here.

You don't notice that someone is behind you until they finally speak up.

"I hope you don't think you can fly."

You don't jump at the sound of another voice though. No, because you're technically still living in a nightmare. Not a lot can scare you anymore.

You turn around and find the source of the voice.

"Amren, I don't think I can fly." you answer.

"Good, because I have a question for you."

"Go ahead."

"Which one will you choose?" she asks.

You clear your throat. You know exactly what she's talking about. Or, you know who she's talking about. You've had this dilemma for more than a year now.

-

When Eris visited you for the second time, it was a few months after he first met you. He apologized and told you that he was trying his best to help you. You took it at face value and accepted it.

But you didn't, well you couldn't, forget that feeling deep inside of you. That he was lying but you still trusted him. Even though you didn't know him.

It's not until the third visit that you inquire a bit more about him. He seemed surprise that someone would ask about him. That someone would have questions for him.

He seemed to answer truthfully and politely. And he even ask your some questions of his own. Not that many, and they were merely basic ones.

But after that third visit he seemed to visit more often. Even if it was a quick drop in to ask how you were doing. He showed up almost every Seven days to see you. Even though he had not progress on getting you back home.

The two of you fell into a routine. Sometimes he'd bring little trinkets. Other times he'd teach you something about the current world you're living in.

It was something delicate between the two of you. You'd be a bit mad to say that you didn't find him attractive when you first met him. But that feeling only grew the more you spent time with him. He was infectious.

Sometimes he would smile and you would think that he never done it before. That he's not used to it, but he does so indoor presence which makes you feel special.

-

"Well, who says I even have to make a choice? Maybe none of them think of me that way. After all I'm just an ordinary human." you say.

Amren scoffs, "No you're not an ordinary human. And these aren't normal circumstances."

"Even if I agreed with you, for a moment, they were my friends first. I wouldn't want to ruin that."

"Azriel liked you from the moment he saw you, he just didn't want to say anything."

That stuns you. Amren takes in the look on your face and you try your best to reign it in. But you can't and she can't help but to laugh at you.

"Oh between the little things he does and how he speaks to you, you didn't put it together?" she asks you.

-

For three years Azriel has been a sort of unspoken calm in your world. From the moment you met him and he helped to get you out of Beron's hold. Of course you didn't trust him, or any of them, for the first four months.

But at some point you did. And it wasn't because of some nice gesture or fancy gift, though they did all try those routes. Azriel was the only one to realize what you needed without asking. Space.

It wasn't until one night you woke up from the worst nightmare you ever had since arriving in their world, that he denied you your space. You were clawing at your skin and screaming in your sleep.

He had jumped in, waited for you to wake up and calmed you down from there. You never had a nightmare after that.

Azriel worked his way into your life unconsciously. Whenever Amren couldn't train you, he would. And he wouldn't hold back either. No matter how many times you told him that you were still human.

Somewhere along the lines you became friends. He'd hangout with you once or twice a week, work schedule permitting. And he would invite you to family dinners sometimes.

When you decided to move out and get a place on your own he was the first one to support you and help you find a place. He helped you move and even offered to stay a couple of nights with you if you wanted another soul in the house to talk to.

He visited the most out of everyone. Always dropping by, always around to talk.

Azriel and you didn't get too deep. You didn't have to, really. It was like the two of you understood each other. The gaps of silence between the two of you were never awkward, they were welcomed.

-

"Why wouldn't you tell me this before?!" you ask incredulously.

Amren rolls her eyes, "You're not a child. Neither are they. And anyways there are other circumstances that you don't know about."

"What other circumstances are there? "

Amren sighs.

"I really think you should talk to the two of them about this." she answers.

"You brought it up!" you say.

"I know, because it was pestering me. But now I realized I opened a box that wasn't mine." she replies.

"Are they here?" you ask.

She nods her head, "Yes. In the ballroom talking to each other. Which is a sight in itself."

You clear your throat, trying to muster the courage needed for what is bound to come next. And you walk out of the terrace. You bid Amren a goodbye as you step inside.

Almost as if they're waiting for you, the both of them stand by the front door. They turn to face you when you enter the room. You try to not let the nerves over take you as you walk over to them.

Once you're in their vicinity, you speak. Or you're going to, but they both beat you to it.

"We need to speak to you." they say a the same time.

Eris opens the front door and beckons your forward. You say nothing as you walk through the door. As you walk and walk down the long hallway to your old room, you can hear their footsteps behind you.

It takes a few more moments before all three of you are in a room. You take a seat on the bed and look at the both of them before you. The both of them look like they are trying to figure out who is going to speak first.

The shadowinger crosses his arms over his chest.

"I do have to confess something to you." Azriel says.

Your eyes go wide. You wonder if he was okay with just confessing his feelings in front of Eris. Surely he knows that you and Eris are tiptoeing a not so friendly line too.

"The reason why I come around more than the others, it's because your'e different. I haven't met anyone like you and the feelings I have for you are not what I'm used to." he continues.

You nod along, "You have feelings for me?"

"Yes. That's what I'm saying." he agrees.

Your eyes flutter over to Eris, who doesn't look shocked at all. You're a bit confused.

"And you?" you ask him.

He smirks, "I have feelings for you too. A bit different than what he feels, some might say stronger-"

Azriel nudges Eris. The red head lets out a breath.

"But I haven't been forthcoming to you, since we've met." he says.

"about your feelings?" you ask.

"We didn't meet for the first time in this room. We met earlier, when you first got here." Eris answers your question.

You stand from your seat.

"You met me when I got taken?"

"No, after. When you ended up in the autumn court. I took you in." Eris confesses.

"No you didn't, I would remember-" you cut yourself off.

You remember having that conversation with him a while ago. How he has certain powers. Mind tricks. All certain things he can do to person's mind. Especially to a human mind, untrained and fragile.

"You knew your father had me and you did nothing?" you whisper, mostly to yourself.

Eris steps forward but you hold out your hand. The flash of hurt that crosses his face is palpable. You don't like seeing him hurt but after hearing what he just said, and all that comes with it, you can't find it in yourself to stop it.

"I couldn't go against him, I told you that I have plans to remove him." he tries to explain.

You nod sourly, "And why let a silly human girl get in the way of those plans."

"I don't think that." Eris tries to correct you.

But you can't get another question out of your head. You look at Azriel and he's looking at your already. Face stoic. No emotion behind his eyes. He just confessed to having feelings for you but he looks so different right now.

"You knew." you say to him.

He nods once, "I did."

"And you said nothing."

"It wasn't my place-" he starts.

"Oh my god! I can't believe this, I just fell for it. I actually fell for two people who lied to my face every single day. Since I landed here I've been a pawn and I still am."

"You're not-" Eris starts.

"I am! I still am. Why did you even tell me any of this tonight?" you ask out of breath.

Eris looks over at Azriel. The shadowsinger uncrosses his arms from his chest. They both look at you then.

"We think there is a way to send you home."

[imqueerandadeer]

Okay it's time again for rants and personal stories no one fucking asked for. Todays topic: How fucking rampant and normalized ableism is, with comments from @pansgoobernonsense as usual.

Really long post ahead guys you've been warned.

The reason it has been featured in the last post and now this one is because it's also ND and Asian and I wanted to get other peoples experiences with ableism.

It also said that I can interview it for practice because journalism sounds cool to me and I might want to be a journalist.

Anyways obligatory disclaimer/reminder. I don't speak for all mentally disabled people because we are not a monolith!! For example I am great at masking my ADHD and Autism (I'll get into that with more context later) and it's somthing I've picked up subconsciously. Other people with my same conditions may not be good at masking.

Also this post will mostly center around mental disabilities, specifically ADHD and autism because thats what we have and know most about. Neither me nor my friend are physically disabled (to my knowledge) so I won't speak much on it because It's not my place.

Alright with that out of the way lets add some context.

Hi, if you don't know me or haven't seen my blog before (most of you probably have though in some shape or form) I'm Ollie or Cupid. I have ADHD, self diagnosed (and peer diagnosed) autism, and possible dyscalculia. Theres also a millon other things I'm suspicious about having but I won't get into those.

Lets start with this, imagine (or don't idc) that your back in *gasp* middle school. Terrifying. Now since this is tumblr I'm gonna assume most of you have autism and/or ADHD so y'all most likely know what it's like to be in middle school and be ND. But still I wanted to talk about my experiences with ableism in school.

Okay I've noticed that the difference of how I get treated because I mask and those that can't mask for whatever reason is wildly different. I have instructional support which is technically special ed and no one has ever called me "Sped" or the R-slur. Versus the the kids who visibly have support needs and their disabilities are present. They get called those things all the fucking time.

The hypocrisy of it all is what really gets me. Kids at my school will really stand there and call these other kids dehumanizing things while I stand there as a person with ADHD and autism having to akwardly laugh it off and pretend it doesn't effect me. Yes of course I tell them off but it doesn't work, because they have been taught that what they're saying is fine and people who have higher support needs are not human, which is wrong and ablesist.

Thats not even their fault really it's what they were taught. Although if they weren't taught it and they know It's wrong but still do it then it's their fault

It genuinely got so bad that me and my friends wrote a letter to the office telling them about the ablesist language at our school, I don't think the letters ever got sent but yeah it was that bad.

On another note I don't think my schools very wheelchair accessible at all, although I wouldn't know really because I don't use a wheelchair.

Now heres @pansgoobernonsense experiences woth ableism as a whole, while mine were mostly about school its are more personal

"My personal experiences with ableism are mostly from my parents, and since I have not one but two neurodevelopmental disorders I’ve experienced it a lot. The most notable of these experiences come from my parents reaction to my autism.

A notable example was the time I was crying because I didn’t want to go to a party (I had had a panic attack at another similar party at the same place with similar people) and my dad had said I didn’t need to go but my mom made me.

I tried to explain (through tears) that I didn’t want to go and my dad angrily called me “autistic”. I’ve also been told to just “act normal” in social situations (despite the textbook definition of autism being essentially “I can’t act normal in social situations”). My parents have also neglected to tell me about my diagnosis for basically my entire life.

I was diagnosed when I was 2-3 and only found out this year. The reason behind this decision was “if I knew I’d tell everyone and use it as a get out of jail free card”.

They seem to treat my diagnosis as a label rather than an actual disability. It makes sense, since historically mental disabilities haven’t been treated the same as physical disabilities, but it’s still an awful experience."

While my experiences with things like this haven't been as severe as Nicks experiences I do have some of my own.

One time I was talking to my mother and she said that they suspected I had ADHD but didn't get me tested until I was 12 because she didn't want me on meds that early, which yes is a semi fair point but still why would you keep your suspicions a secret until I startes to notice and suspect it myself. That seems so weird to me and it could have saved me a lot if trouble if she had just told me.

Anyways thats it, sorry if it's not cohesive or coherent it's 1:00 am for me, I need to sleep

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 6: Dinosaurs, Dates and Diners, Oh My!

Summary: After a long last week, Javi takes you out to celebrate the end of the school year. Even when things don't go according to his plans, you're convinced you've never been on a better date.

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected P in V sex (wrap it up, y'all), phone sex, oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, masturbation (m and f), mentions of panic/anxiety, mentions of food/eating, subpar Spanish (my 4 years of high school Spanish don't take up a lot of space in my brain, I apologize) Javi being our consent king, Javi caring so much about you it physically hurts me

Word Count: 14.1K (I didn't realize how long this was until I finished)

A/N: YOU GUYS. When I started doing this, I just wanted to write for fun and posted thinking that no one would read this, let alone be invested in it 🥺 Y'all are so sweet, thank you so much!! This was another fun chapter to write, I'm thinking I have some good ideas about what these two are up to next!!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

Javier Peña had always been a light sleeper. Even as a kid, he would wake up to the sound of a stray footstep wandering through his home, or the wind rustling the tree outside his bedroom window. Once he got to Colombia, it was like he never slept at all. Since coming home, his dreams were plagued with the violent images of his past, causing him to thrash and toss in his sleep, waking up sweaty and breathless. But last night, he slept next to you. Your warmth and presence draped over him provided a sense of comfort he hadn’t felt in years. For the first time he could remember since coming back, Javi actually slept. When he woke up Monday morning to the sound of his alarm, he so desperately wished to have rolled over and found you, to wrap himself around you and ground himself. To smell the warm and fruity scent of your hair, to kiss your soft skin, to take in every detail about how your body seemed to impossibly take up every corner of the bed, despite your small stature. This morning, Javi had to settle for the emptiness of his childhood bedroom, begrudgingly preparing himself for the very long 4 days ahead of him until he could see you again. 

He got out of bed, following his usual routine of brushing his teeth, shaving and showering, the emptiness of his bathroom making him wish you were there to serenade him with your cute sing-alongs as you both got ready. 

After he was dressed, he headed out into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee and sit on the back porch, overlooking their acres of farmland and the impending sunrise. During Javi’s time away, Chucho had hired help at the ranch, now relieving Javi of having to get up at some God awful hour to feed animals or move cows from one pasture to another. Even in his older age, it didn’t stop his father from getting up every morning at 4:25 AM to make sure things stayed running smoothly on the ranch. Normally, he and his father’s morning schedules didn’t overlap, sometimes getting the occasional good morning in passing as they headed to their prospective jobs. This morning, Javi had to check his watch to make sure he wasn’t late for work, realizing his Dad had finished his morning chores almost a half hour early. He must have seen that Javi’s car finally made its way back to the driveway when he got up. Javi knew his dad would confront him about the weekend at some point, he just didn’t think it was going to be at 6:27 this morning. 

Chucho walked up the steps of the back porch, sitting down next to Javi on the top step. “Morning, Pops.” Javi took a sip of his coffee. 

“Glad to see you made it back. I was getting close to sending a search party out for you, Hijo.” He chuckled, seeing that Javi’s face was already starting to get red. “Seems like it must have been a good weekend then, huh?” 

“Yeah, it was uh, it was a really good weekend.” 

“Good. I’m glad, son. The way I watched you smile on Saturday… it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like that.” 

“Yeah. She makes me really happy, Pop.” He reached down for another sip of his coffee, Chucho keeping quiet, in hopes to get more out of him. “I uh, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I know it seems really fast but… I don’t know, Dad. There’s something about her. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before.” 

Chucho placed his hand on Javi’s shoulder. “Sometimes Mijo, you just know.” Javi shifted his gaze from his reflection in his coffee mug to the soft smile of his father. In that moment, it was like a weight had been lifted off of Javi’s shoulders. He couldn’t quite describe what it was. Was it the fact that he could tell how happy his dad was for him? That he had found someone who liked him for who he was? That it wasn’t too late to prove he deserved the life he wanted before he left for Colombia all those years ago? 

“Thanks, Pops. She’s special.” 

“I can tell she is, Javier. I’d love to meet her sometime.” 

“She already told me she wants to come and meet the animals. Tried to buy a bag of carrots when we went grocery shopping so she could make sure the horses liked her.” They both laughed to themselves. 

“That was how I got su mamá to come to the ranch for the first time. She told me I was fine, but los animales were the only reason she really wanted to come over. It all seemed to work out okay.” Chucho patted Javier on the shoulder, before grunting as he stood up. “You going to see her again soon?” 

“Thursday. Taking her out to celebrate her last day of school.” 

Chucho smilied. “Ah, yes. No me hables hasta los niños estan libres. (Don't talk to me until the children are free). I’m happy for you, Javier. All me and your mamá ever wanted for you was that.” 

Chucho huffed as he took a step on to the deck and walked his way into the house. Javi smiled to himself, repeating his fathers words in his head. 

Sometimes, you just know. 

You knew Monday was going to suck. It was inevitable. It had been so long since you had slept in the same bed with someone, after just one night of being with Javi, you found yourself tossing and turning, craving his body in your bed. To top off your not so great night’s sleep, you realized you had forgotten to set your alarm, made no food for your lunch, and hadn’t set your coffee to brew for when you woke up. Scrambling, you started a pot and threw whatever lunch-like items you could find into your lunch box, hoping that maybe you would have the appetite for one of them later. Not having enough time to shower, you threw your hair up in a bun, found a dress (since it was easier than having to pick out a top and bottoms), grabbed your things and raced down to your car. Thankfully, there wasn’t too much you had to prep when you got in- there wasn’t planned since it was the last week of school. But, you did have to have your room packed for summer cleaning before Thursday. You were planning on doing the majority of it on Thursday afternoon since the kids had a half day in the morning, but knowing you had plans with a very handsome someone later on that night, you were trying to get as much done as possible. 

Just as you assumed, your room was in absolute chaos as your students entered, like they could feel it in their bones that summer was almost here. You couldn’t have been more thankful to have music and gym this morning, sending the kids on their way shortly after they arrived, leaving you alone again with the sweet sound of silence in your room. Well, at least for a few minutes. 

Knock, knock, knock 

You had closed your door on purpose, hoping it would give the hint that you didn’t want people to come talk to you during your planning time, but the door meant absolutely nothing to the 3 ladies peeking in through your window, frantically ushering you to come open it for them. You should have known it was going to happen. 

“Hola, mijaaaaaaa.” Estelle greeting you with a smirking smile. The other two ladies snickered behind her. 

“Hi, you guys.” You responded as they made yourself at home at the large table you had at the front of your room. 

“Sooooo, how was the rest of your weekend?” Linda asked, raising her eyebrows at you. 

“It was good.” You responded, at least trying to make them work a little harder before you shared your news with them. 

“Cut to the chase, Mija. What happened with you and Javier?! We are dying to know. I tried to call, but Chucho is too good of a man to gossip with us, so we have been left high and dry since Saturday night.” Of course Maria would have no problem not beating around the bush to get the answers they needed. 

“We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out together. He offered to run errands with me on Sunday and we watched a movie before he left to go home last night. We had a really good time.” 

“How good of a time? There’s a very large gap between you leaving on Saturday and going shopping on Sunday.” Maria was invested in you two like a weeknight telenovela. The other two ladies shot her glaring looks, knowing she was the only one bold enough to ask the question. 

“Maria! Considering we’re inside an elementary school right now, I’m keeping it PG. We had a lot of fun, that’s all I will say.” 

“Fine, fine, fine.” 

You paused for a moment, blushing before dropping the next bit of information. “He um, he asked me to be his girlfriend too.” 

You blushed as the women shrieked in delight at the news. “No puedo creerlo!” (I can’t believe it) Estelle screeched. “Digame (tell me), how did it happen?” 

You knew they were about to have a field day with your answer. “Well, um, it actually kind of happened because of Lorriane.” 

Their faces went stone cold. They began whispering to each other in frantic Spanish. 

“Esa mujer está un punta loco…” (That woman is a crazy bitch…)

“Yo se, Maria, dèjala hablar!” (I know Maria, let the girl talk!) 

“Quiero saber qué pasó, shhh!” (I want to know what happened, shhh!) 

“Well, um, we were out shopping for a birthday present for my niece. Her and her family ended up being in front of us in line when we went to check out and she realized Javi was behind her. She asked who I was and before I could answer for myself, he introduced me as his girlfriend. She’s um… something.” 

The women paused before saying anything else. 

“Javi told me about what happened with them, don’t worry.” 

“If she said anything to you, mija, don’t let it bother you. That woman is ruthless.” 

“I know, I kinda picked that up after talking to her.” You grimaced your face. “But I guess I owe her a thank you because it really speeded up the whole him asking me out thing!” The ladies smiled again, recognizing your genuine happiness when talking about Javi. 

“We are so happy for you, mija. Really, you both deserve each other.” Linda chimed in. 

“So, are you going to see him again soon?” Estelle asked, prodding for more information. 

“Not until Thursday. He’s taking me out to celebrate the last day of school, we’re going to dinner and a movie.” 

The ladies swooned. “So sweet mjia. He’s already doing more for you than mí marido (husband) has ever done for me on the last day of school. He just looks at me and tells me he’s glad I’m not grumpy anymore.” 

“Yeah, it was really sweet of him. I’m really excited for it.” 

“Congrats, sweetheart. We really are so happy for you.” 

“Don’t think you’re escaping until August to give us an update. We know Chucho, his papá, will keep us up to speed.” Maria winked as the ladies started to get up out of their seats. “Well now that we know you have a busy day coming up, we’ll let you get back to packing.”

The ladies were almost out the door when Maria popped her head back in. “You tell Javi I’ll make good on my promise to him. He breaks your heart, I will run him over with his father’s tractor.” You snorted, picturing the tiny woman rage driving a heavy piece of machinery.  

“I wouldn’t put it past you Maria.” 

She smiled as she closed the door behind her. You stared around the contents of your room before picking up another box. You better pick up your packing speed. 

You practically collapsed as you opened the door to your apartment. Today had been a LONG day. You left for work at 7:00 AM, and were now finally returning home to your apartment at 7:50 PM. Whoever decided to cram every single end of the year activity into the last week of school needed to be seriously evaluated. Yesterday was the annual teachers vs. 5th graders kickball game as a way to celebrate before they were off to middle school, and tonight was the school music concert. The thought of having to go to the Alma Pierce Carnival tomorrow made you want to cry in exhaustion. Only two more days until Thursday. 

You disregarded your usual routine of neatly putting all of your things in their rightful home before doing anything else, opting to drop everything by the door in a pile and crawl your way to take a shower. Stripping your clothes and throwing them in the hamper, you turned on the shower and cranked up the heat. Waiting for the water to warm, you looked at Javi’s toothbrush, still sitting next to yours in the cup on your sink. Now finally having a second for your brain to turn off of school mode, the sight of Javi’s toothbrush flooded you with three different feelings all at once. 

You missed him like crazy 

You couldn’t wait to see what he had planned for Thursday 

You were hornier than a middle school boy on the brink of puberty 

After going so long without sex (at most, it had been 5 times in the past 2 plus years), you had almost written it off as an afterthought. That was until Saturday, when Javier Peña causally decided to blow your mind with the best sex of your entire life, on repeat. As you stepped into the shower, you pictured where Javi stood only a few days ago, his tanned, muscular, very naked body soaping you up in your favorite body wash. You spent the rest of your shower wishing he was the one scrubbing the shampoo and conditioner into your hair, imagining his hands would eventually travel out of your hair to somewhere else. 

You wrapped yourself up in your towel after emerging out of the shower, the sight of his toothbrush once again only making the ache between your legs more and more present. God, how bad did you have it that even his freakin’ toothbrush was making you horny?! Stupid magic hands and magic dick. 

As you went into your bedroom, you shuffled through the very back of your nightstand. Patting your hand around the back right corner you found what you were looking for.  Please let this thing be charged, it hasn’t even been used in god knows how long, you hoped, pulling the small bullet vibrator out of your drawer. Holding down the power button, you were relieved to hear the low hum vibrating in your hand. You laid down on your bed, head propped up on the pillows as you brought the vibrator between your legs. Running it up and down your clit, you could feel how wet you already were, wishing Javi was the one rubbing his thumb against your sensitive nerves, his thick fingers pressing inside you as- 

Ringggggg, ringggggg, ringggggg 

The phone ringing startled you so badly, you practically flung your vibrator across the room. Breathing heavily, you wrapped yourself back up in your towel and ran to the phone. Considering you and your mom always talked on Wednesdays and your brothers didn’t call unless you called them, it left one probable answer of who it could be. You tried to compose yourself as the phone rang a few more times, beet red and sweating from embarrassment that the person probably calling you was the one you were just thinking about with a vibrator between your legs. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Osita.” The low, sweet voice made your heart sing. 

“It’s good to hear your voice again. I missed you.” 

“Missed yours too. Sorry you didn’t call yesterday, Pops needed extra help after I got home from work yesterday. Are- are you okay?” 

“Me? Yeah, why?” You obviously weren’t doing a very good job of hiding how flustered you were. 

“You just… you sound like you’re out of breath?” 

“Oh, yeah, I um, I just got out of the shower.” It wasn’t a lie.

“You’re out of breath from getting out of the shower?” The thought of you wet and naked made Javi’s cock twitch. 

“No, well, um, not exactly.” You were glad Javi couldn’t see you from the other end of the phone as you facepalmed yourself, jumbling over your words. 

“What’s goin’ on Osita?” Javi spoke with a sneaking suspicion. He didn’t want to assume what he was thinking, but given what he had done to relieve himself in his shower earlier this morning, he couldn’t help but hope you had been just as riled up as he was. 

You let out an audible sigh. Before you could try and come up with an answer, Javi spoke again. 

“Osita, it’s okay. You can tell me.” You couldn’t even see him, but even picturing his sweet, brown, puppy dog eyes was enough to make you spill your secrets in an instant. God, could this man read your mind?! 

“Well, I don’t know, it’s dumb. I- I was in the shower and I was thinking about Sunday morning.” 

“And?” You could practically hear his smirk through the phone. 

“And I was thinking about you, in there, with me. How much I wished you were there” 

Javi had to bite down on his lip from letting out an audible groan. “I wish I was there too, baby. What else were you thinking about?” 

“How much I missed your hands. How much I wished they were touching me.” 

Bingo. There it was.

Javi dipped another toe into the water, getting the green light on his suspicions. “Yeah? Wished I was touching you? Were you touching yourself, baby? Thinking about me?” 

Your face was so flushed. You were already mentally making space on your gravestone for “Magic, sexy words” under dick and hands. “Yeah, I was.” You paused for a moment, feeling completely un-confident in yourself. “Sorry, this is so embarrassing, I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” 

“Baby, it’s not embarrassing, I promise. It’s fucking sexy, is what it is. I can’t stop thinking about this weekend either, Osita. Came so hard this morning thinking about you sucking my dick in the shower. Fuck, I wish it would have been you instead of my fuckin’ hand.” 

Oh shit. Were you about to do this?  

“Javi, I- fuck, I’ve never done this before, like, had phone sex.” The innocence in your voice had him hard as a rock. He knew for a fact after this weekend, you were not shy about sex. Fuck, you were the one that came on to him first. But the thought of you sitting in your bed, hand between your legs picturing him? That pushed him over the edge. 

“It’s okay, baby, we don’t have to if you-“ 

“No, I do. Fuck, I’m so horny for you.” 

“ Dirty fuckin’ girl. Take off your clothes, baby.” 

“Lucky for you, I’m fresh out the shower and already not wearing any.” Your little giggle on the other end had him palming at his jeans. He quickly got up to double check his door was locked, thanking whatever higher power was up there that his dad was still out working. 

“Go lie down on your bed for me.” Grabbing your phone, you brought it to your room, and sat propped up against your pillows. 

“O-Okay, now what?” He could tell you were still nervous, a stark contrast from the confident and bold woman he usually saw.

“Relax, baby. It’s okay. I’ll take care of you. You trust me?” 

“Yeah. I do.” He knew you meant it. 

“Okay, hermosa. Tell me how you’d want me baby. Tell me what you’d want me to do to you if I was there.” The low rasp of his voice through the phone had you shuttering. 

“Fuck. I’d want you to kiss down my neck. Kiss every fucking inch of me.” The words began to spill out of you. “I’d want you to touch me. Put your fingers in me. Your hands are so big, they feel so good.” 

“Touch yourself, Osita. Feel how fucking wet you are for me.” You set the phone next to you, pressing the speaker button, freeing both your hands. Slowly, you dipped a finger inside you, diving in and out of your entrance, the other hand slowly rubbing over your clit. It felt like nothing compared to Javi’s hands, slowly adding a second finger inside you to imitate the pleasure he had given you this weekend. He could hear your soft moans through the other end of the phone, causing him to undo his belt, and slide his pants down far enough he could free his aching cock, already hard from your sounds alone. 

“It feels so good, Javi. Fuck I wish it was you inside me.” 

He spit on his hand as he began stroking himself, nestling his phone between his chin and his shoulder. His breathy groans traveled through the phone. 

“You touching yourself too?” 

“Fuck, hermosa. The thought of you touching yourself has me so fucking hard. Yeah, baby, I am.” 

“I wish I could suck your dick like I did on Sunday. You tasted so good, loved feeling you down my throat.” 

“Wish I could taste you too. Pussy tastes so fucking sweet. Fuck, I’d spend hours in between your legs making you scream my name as many times as I could.” 

That was an offer you would definitely take him up on. 

The pace of both your hands became more rapid, both of you so worked up from your conversation. 

“Fuck. Javi, I want you to fuck me so bad. Your dick feels so good.” 

“Want me to fuck you, hermosa? Want me to bend you over, fuck you over your dresser so you can watch in your mirror how fuckin’ gorgeous you are when I make you come? Watch your pretty face when I fuck you full of me?” 

Yes please. 

Javi’s words had you losing your mind, the rubbing of your clit getting faster and faster, the wet  sounds of your fingers in and out of your pussy filling the room. If you weren’t close before, the image that Javi had just planted in your head had you right on the edge.

“Javi- holy shit, fuck fuck, baby, I’m gonna-” the whimpers of your orgasm had Javi groaning, his hand wrapping tighter around his cock, imagining it was your cunt clenching down on him as you came. 

“Such a good fucking girl, Osita. Fuck baby, I’m gonna come too.” Over your panting, you heard Javi muttering your name as he climaxed, the both of you breathing heavily. 

There was silence for a few moments before you spoke. 

“Javi, holy shit.” You laughed, shocked and thrilled by what you two had just done. 

“Jesus Christ, Osita, I was just trying to call and ask about Thursday but this was a lot fucking better.” His voice still breathy, coming down from his high. 

“Well I still wanna talk about Thursday, it’s the only thing getting me through this week, although this was helpful, to say the least.” 

“Believe me, me too. Lemme just clean myself up really quick. Be right back.” 

There was a grin across your face so wide, it hurt your cheeks. You waited patiently on the other end, Javi quickly coming back. 

“You still there, Osita?”  

“Yes sir.” You replied in an obnoxious voice. 

“Weirdo.” 

“Oh shhh, you love it.” 

Fuck. There it was again. That stupid word. He knew you didn’t mean anything by it right? Did you mean anything by it? Even if you did, there’s no way in hell you’d admit that to yourself so soon. Right? You frantically responded before he could say anything. 

“Anyways, sorry for my incredibly horny tangent, what are you thinking for Thursday?” 

“All good, hermosa, well worth it. What time are you done with work on Thursday?” 

“I’ll probably be home at 4:15? The kids are only there in the morning so I just have to finish packing up my room and then I can go!” 

“Can I pick you up around 5:30? I was gonna make dinner reservations at 6:00.” 

“Do I get to ask what dinner is?” 

“You don’t do well with surprises, do you?” He chuckled. 

“How’d you guess?” 

“Just had a feeling. If you really want to know, I’ll tell you.” 

“No, I won’t ruin the surprise, that’s no fun. I was gonna let you have full reign on the movie we go see. You made a fantastic pick on Sunday, figured it would be fun for you to pick again.” 

“Do you want that to be a surprise too?” 

“Absolutely. I trust you.” He smiled, the phrase you had already used twice making his heart skip a beat. There was a brief pause before he spoke again, his voice a little more nervous than before. 

“Is it uh, okay if I bring stuff to spend the night? That way I can just go in to work from your place?” 

You bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement. “I would be disappointed if you didn’t.” 

“Me too.” In the background of Javi’s phone, you could hear a faint voice in the distance yelling out to him. Holding his hand over the receiver, you heard him faintly yell “What, Pops? I’m on the phone.” Followed by a muffled, “stupid fucking horse…” 

“Hey Osita?” His voice once again full volume, trying to restrain his annoyance. “I’m really sorry, I have to go. My dad just came in and told me one of the horses got out again and it's a two man job to wrangle him back in.” 

“It’s okay, have fun horse wrangling, I hope he isn’t too much of a pain in the butt.” You giggled, imagining how grumpy Javi would look trying to fight with this horse. 

“Símon is the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever met.” 

“Glad someone else gets to take the title besides me. I’ll make sure to give him extra carrots when I meet him.” 

“Won’t do you any good, bastard hates everyone. I’ll see you on Thursday, Osita.” 

“Bye Javi, see you on Thursday.” 

“Bye.” 

The line on the other end clicked, leaving you laying on your bed and smiling at your ceiling. You rolled over, now facing the dresser and mirror on the other side of your room, the image of Javi’s filthy words from earlier seeping into your brain. You would never look at your dresser the same. Thursday couldn’t come fast enough. 

Javi had never really been nervous when it came to women. Even from a young age, he was confident in himself and his abilities to flirt, pick up girls, and show them a good time. Hell, half his reputation from his time in the DEA was trying to put the moves on any halfway decent looking woman as a way to fight the tension and stress of his job. Javier Peña knew he had a way with women. What absolutely terrified him, was trying to date one. Regretfully, Javi didn’t have enough fingers or toes to count how many women he had slept with over the years. He could, however, count how many women he had dated on one hand, and only needed 2 fingers. Lorraine Doogan, and you. He’d taken women on dates- the occasional movie, dinner, drinks at the bar, but the idea of dating someone with the hope to keep them around for as long as he could? That scared the shit out of him. 

Javi had been a nervous mess all of Thursday. He called to double check your reservation time at dinner, made sure he had an outfit to change into in his car, and spent way longer than usual getting ready this morning. The thing was, Javi knew you liked him. Fuck, you were his girlfriend. But this wasn’t hanging out at your apartment like you had done this weekend, he wanted to do something special for you to show how much he really cared.

Around 12:30, he found his co-workers sitting around their desks chatting and eating lunch when Javi stopped by, taking a break from his morning of doing nothing, too distracted by tonight to focus. 

“Hey, just so you idiots know, I gotta head out early today. Carter, can you finish up that Guadalajara report and give it to Morris before you leave?” Javi came out of his office to see Agent Miller and Carter staring at him with confusion, their mouths still half full of food. Javi never once had left early in the time that he had worked there. If anything, he was there after everyone had left. Ever since last week, Carter and Miller had noticed that Javier had been in a surprisingly better mood than normal. They had seen him smile, not once but multiple times, and had even said good morning to both of them, several days in a row. 

“Uh, yeah, sure Peña. Where ya going? Gotta hot date?” Carter meant it as a joke, but Javi’s lack of witty response and embarrassment on his face left him with an open door to ask the question.

 “Holy shit, you gotta date don’t you?!” 

Javi didn’t say anything, just ran his hand over the bridge of his nose. 

“He’s gotta fuckin’ date tonight, Carter!” Miller responded, outstretching his hand to high-five Javi. “My man!” Javi glared at the hand held high towards him before Miller quickly got the hint to get it out of his face. 

Javi let out a deep breath. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell people about you. He really did. He was so happy you were his. He just knew that these two buffoons were about to give him ten pounds of shit when they found out you were the person he was going on a date with. “Yeah, I’m going on a fucking date, okay? Happy?” 

“Shit, no wonder you’ve been in such a good mood for the past week, Peña. Who is it? How’d you meet her?” Carter stretched back in his chair, completely invested in any information Javi was willing to share. More silence. Javi put his hands on his hips and let out another deep breath. Before he could get out any words, it was like the gears had been turning and a lightbulb had gone off in Miller’s brain, filling him with absolute glee. 

“Carter… you said Peña’s been in a good mood for what now, a week?” Miller smirked. 

“Yeah, why?” Clearly, he was not catching on. 

“How long ago did he go in to do the presentation at the elementary school?” Miller’s grin widening, hoping it wouldn’t take Carter too much longer for him to understand his question. 

“Fuck, I don’t know, like a week ago-” He paused before his face lit up, even giddier than Miller’s. “OH SHIT. IT’S THE HOT TEACHER ISN’T IT?! YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH.” Miller and Carter were now playfully swatting at each other in shock over the news. 

There was no point in trying to deny it. Javi figured he might as well bite the bullet on this one. 

“Yeah, it is. Again, she’s got a fuckin’ name okay?” 

“I can’t believe it. Damn, she must really like you, Peña. The other teachers practically chased us away when we went to try and talk to her.” While he hated the thought of his idiot co-workers harassing you week after week, it did fill him with a little pride knowing he was the only one you were ever interested in. 

“You dirty dog. This the first time you’re seeing her since then?” 

Javi met every question with more silence. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to disclose any information to them, but their persistence in getting you to Alma Pierce last Wednesday was the reason you found yourself in this situation. 

“No way. You’ve already seen her already, haven’t you? And she still wants to see you again? Damn. Good for you, Peña.” 

“So what are you two doing for this date tonight? Besides hopefully getting laid?” Carter and Miller high-fived each other. 

Was that part of Javi’s plan tonight? Absolutely. He wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t walk, and once he was done, he wanted to do it again. But the jealous and possessive part of his brain lit up hearing other people talk about you in that way. 

“Don’t fucking talk about her like that or I will snap both your fucking necks, understood?” Javi’s voice was stern and commanding, making Carter and Miller rapidly nod their heads in unison, knowing that if Javi really wanted to, he would. 

“Understood man.” 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

The two men stared sheepishly at each other. Javi took another deep breath before composing himself and focusing his gaze back on Carter. 

“Guadalajara report on Morris’s desk by the time I get in tomorrow, got it?” 

“Will do, boss.” Carter barely made eye contact with him. Javi nodded before turning around, heading back into his office and closing the door. 

Peeking his head around the corner to make sure Javi’s door was all the way shut, Miller leaned back over to Carter for one last remark. 

“They’ve gotta be fucking already, right?” 

“Oh yeah. That’s the face of a man who’s happy and gettin’ laid.” 

“Lucky bastard.” 

“You can say that again.” 

You were shocked at how smoothly your Thursday was going. Your class had lots of fun at their class party, showering you with plenty of hugs and goodbyes on their last day. With your efficiency and determination to pack up your classroom, everything was labeled and put away by 2:45, leaving you with plenty of time to say goodbye to your co-workers before heading out early. 

Remembering Saturday’s disaster of trying to pick out an outfit, you had spent the whole week trying on potential choices to not leave yourself a frantic mess today. You had settled on a peach colored dress with small white flowers, having a feeling that Javi would like it just as much as the one you wore on Saturday. You had plenty of time to get ready, taking more time than usual to do your hair and makeup and try on your outfit one last time. By the time you were all ready to go, it still wasn’t even 5 yet, leaving you with enough time to do a brief clean (even though you had made your apartment spotless enough it would have passed a health inspection test) and turn on SportsCenter for a little as you anxiously awaited Javi’s arrival.  

At 5:25, you heard a knock at your door, practically sprinting up off the couch to greet him. As you opened your door, his tall, handsome frame filled the doorway. He was in a navy blue button down, its short sleeves fitting deliciously over his biceps, with a pair of tight, dark washed jeans. In his hands, he held a bouquet of sunflowers, but looked like he was practically about to drop them when he saw you answer the door. 

“Osita, you look… beautiful.” His jaw was already half slack as his eyes ran their way up and down your frame, taking in every detail about you. 

“Thanks, Javi. You don’t look half bad yourself. You blushed as you tried to contain your grin. 

“These are for you.” He outstretched his hand, passing the bright yellow flowers over to you. 

“Phew, thank god, I was worried that you just wanted to carry them around all night for fun. Thank you, Javi. They’re beautiful.” Carefully placing them on your entryway table. You stared up at Javi, his lip darting around his bottom lip, practically undressing you with his eyes. You grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulling him through the doorway, your mouths meeting in an electric kiss. He reached down to grab behind your head, pulling you closer into him his tongue danced along your open mouth. God, you had missed him. The scent of his cologne and minty breath overwhelmed your senses, as you leaned further into him, his other arm wrapping around your waist as he reluctantly pulled back from your kiss. 

“Wow. Definitely missed that.” You smiled up at him, your heart pounding as you caught your breath. 

“Fuck, me too. I missed you, Osita.” His sweet brown eyes stared down at you, a smile growing under his mustache. 

This man had been in your presence for less than a minute, and you could already feel an ache growing between your legs. His kiss had you begging for more. 

“What time is it? You said our reservation is at 6:00, right?” You asked, glancing down at Javi’s watch as you bit down on your lip and reached up to give him a kiss on his neck. It was clear to both of you why you had asked the question. You knew how riled up you both were given the phone call you had just 2 days before, and having gone 5 days without him, you were really holding it together to not jump all over him.  

“Hermosa… Fuck. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this.” He took a step back from you, causing you to cross your arms and raise an eyebrow. “Baby, if we don’t leave your apartment now, we’re not fucking leaving. I meant what I said on the phone. Osita, I’ve spent every goddamn day this week thinking about this, but I really want to take you out to celebrate, you deserve it.” 

It took every ounce of you not to protest. He looked so good that you would have fucked him right there on the floor next to your shoe rack. But he was right, he had worked so hard to plan whatever you two were doing tonight. He cared about you. He wanted to make sure you knew that you were worth celebrating. No one had ever cared about you this much. 

“You’re really sweet, Jav. Thank you. Although with how fucking hot you look and the fact that you pretty much eye fucked me from the moment you walked through the door, this is about to be a a battle of iron wills, and right now my will power is about the strength of a limp noodle.” You both laughed, trying to regain your composure. Smirking, you looked at him to give him a proposition. 

“I bet you 5 dollars.” 

“You bet me 5 dollars, that what, Osita?” He chuckled, shaking his head at you. 

“I bet you 5 dollars that you break before I do. I don’t think you can make it through the night. Not with the way your eyes are still trying to undress me.” 

“You sure? You were the one practically crawling all over me as soon as I walked through the door.” He crossed his arms to mirror yours, enjoying the prospect of your competition. 

“I may be stubborn, but I got all the patience in the world, Peña. And I don’t like to lose.” You shrugged and winked at him, giving a playful raise of your eyebrows. 

You drove him absolutely fucking crazy. 

Leaning down, he pulled you in to kiss you again, even more intense than the one you had just shared. Your tongues and teeth clashed, making you moan between your connected mouths, before suddenly pulling away and grabbing his keys, dangling them in your breathless face. 

He looked at you with a devilish grin. “You’re on baby. You ready to go?” 

“What?! That’s not fair, you can’t just kiss me like that and expect me to function normally!” 

“Never said it wasn’t part of the rules. Two can play at this game.” He leaned back down into your ear, his mustache tickling your neck as the low rasp of his voice serenaded you. “Besides, Osita, like you said, you have all the patience in the world, right?” 

“Javier I don’t know your middle name Peña, I swear to God, you really are trying to kill me.” You both laughed as you grabbed your purse and began to put on your shoes. 

“Jesús. Javier Jesús Peña. 

Something about him saying his name made you smile. Maybe it’s because his name was yours. “Cute. Good to know, in case of emergencies, such as times like these. Alright, I’m ready, and I’m making space in my wallet to be 5 dollars richer tonight.” 

As Javi opened his passenger side car door for you, you basked in the warm familiarity of sitting next to him while he drove. While his car was already neat, you could tell he must have gone through and cleaned in since Sunday. After he backed out of your apartment’s parking lot and you two headed on your way, his free hand almost immediately found its way to the skin of your thigh exposed under your dress, giving it a slight squeeze before tracing his fingers up and down your leg. 

“Music?” He looked at you, smiling, reminiscing on your last drives’ sing a long. 

“You don’t just want to listen to the Grease Soundtrack on repeat every time we drive?” You giggled as you reached into his glove box, shuffling back through the CD’s, noticing a new one that definitely wasn’t there this weekend. You quickly pulled it out, showing it to Javi. 

“This one wasn’t here on Sunday?” You looked surprised by the Queen’s Greatest Hits disc you now had in your hand. 

“Oh yeah, well you said they were your favorite band. I don’t know a ton of music by them, but figured you may want to listen to them if we’re driving.” He tried to play it off casually. You didn’t need to know that he drove to not one, but two stores after work this week to find that CD for you. 

“Wait did you- Did you get this just for me?” Your surprise was so genuine. Not only did he care enough to even remember your favorite band, he went out and got you a CD so you could listen to it in his car while you drove together? You couldn’t have been more thankful to have been stopped at a red light as you leaned over the center console, grabbing the side of his face to pull him in for a kiss. You only released him as you watch your peripheral vision turn from red to green. You both pulled back with smiles on your faces, Javi putting an even tighter grasp around your leg. 

“Play it. You’re in charge of music tonight, Osita.” 

“Figured you needed to let me be in charge of at least something, huh?” You rolled your eyes and snickered under your breath as you pushed the CD in and pressed play, the beat of Another One Bites the Dust thumping through the speakers 

“This song is dedicated to you after you lose our bet tonight.” 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you don’t like to lose, huh Osita? 

“I will admit being overly competitive is one of my biggest character flaws. Growing up with 3 older brothers who all played sports will do that to ya. I always wanted to play with them, and they wouldn’t let me play unless I proved I was good enough, so instead of crying about it, I just practiced to try and make myself better than them.” 

Javi couldn’t have been less surprised. Given your stubbornness, there were few things he’d put past you.

 “Did you play any sports as a kid?” You asked curiously. 

“I did swimming and some baseball. Always liked swimming more. Parents would call me el pez. (fish) They would always tell me that they’d have to drag me out of the water whenever we went to the pool or beach. Swam in college a little too, but was never super serious about it. What about you? I’m gonna assume yes.” 

“My brothers played everything, so yes, I’ve pretty much tried every sport under the sun at some point. Hockey was always my favorite though.” 

“I’m gonna be real honest with you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey game in my entire life.” 

“That’s criminal. Well considering you’re from southern Texas, it makes sense that a game involving ice isn’t very popular. Did you know Texas has an NHL team?” 

“Wait, actually?” 

“Yeah, actually. I don’t think anyone in Texas knows you do. The Dallas Stars. They were actually pretty good this year. Lost in the first round of the playoffs like the Blackhawks did, so now my only hope is that the Red Wings lose but it physically hurts me to say that I think they’re gonna win it all this year.” 

Javi nodded, trying his best to follow along even though he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about. Embarrassed with your rambling, you quickly retracted. “Sorry, I know you don’t really care about any of that.” 

“You care about it, which means I’ll try my best to learn, Ostia.” 

Your eyes shifted up from your lap where they had been staring to meet Javi’s gaze, soft and genuine. It shouldn’t have surprised you, but the feeling of knowing he actually cared never ceased to amaze you.

“Okay. All you need to know for the sake of this conversation is Blackhawks- good, Red Wings- bad.” 

“Easy enough. I can remember that.” He winked at you before reaching to grab your hand and lock it with his. 

You spent the last few minutes of your car ride in a comforting silence, Queen quietly playing in the background as you watched the sky slowly melt into a pink and orange sunset. 

As you pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, you looked at the sign above the entrance reading “Andiamos on Main.” You’d never been here before, but you felt like the name sounded familiar from hearing your co-workers who had gone on anniversaries, birthday dinners or big events to celebrate. 

“Javi, this place is supposed to be really nice.” 

“I know.” 

“Like, people come here for birthdays and anniversaries and special things that only happen once a year.” 

“You only finish school once a year, too. You’re special to me, Osita. You deserve it.” 

“But I-"

“I’m not letting you argue with me on this one, baby. Please.” 

As much as you wanted to, how could you argue with his sweet face, staring at you with his pleading brown eyes? You would have been thankful for him to have gotten you sandwiches again, let alone take you somewhere nice and insist you deserve it. 

“Fine. Thank you, Javi. This is the nicest thing someone has done for me in a long time.” 

“You deserve it, Osita. I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.” 

He leaned over to give you a quick kiss before turning off the engine of the car and quickly unbuckling himself so he could walk around the car and open the passenger door for you. 

“Ready to eat?” 

“Javi, there will be very few times in life where that answer will be no.” 

When you walked into the restaurant, your suspicions were confirmed. This place was nice. The space was dimly lit with soft piano playing in the background, filled with other couples and large groups, all dressed nicely and casually chatting. You were surprised how busy the restaurant was as Javi took your hand to lead you through the small crowd in front of the hostess stand. 

“Hi, how can I help you two?” The woman at the front asked as you two approached her.

“Hi, I have a reservation at 6:00. Should be under Peña.” 

“Alright, let me just check real quick and then we’ll get you seated!” You watched as her fingers flicked through the notebook she had in front of her, a concerned look creeping up her face as she began to back track and flip through previous pages. 

“You said Peña at 6:00, tonight, correct?” 

“Mhhmm.” He nodded, also starting to look concerned by her confusion. 

“I’m very sorry, Mr. Peña, it looks like your reservation was for yesterday at 6:00 PM.” 

Javi may have looked worse than he did when you had run into Lorraine a few days ago. “Wait, I uh-, it should be for today. It’s for June 3rd? The 3rd at 6:00 PM?” 

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Peña. The 3rd was yesterday. Today is the 4th.” 

You could feel the panic shedding from his body. The hand that was holding yours now started to become sweaty. The look on Javi’s face was sheer terror. “No, today’s the 3rd? Today’s the 3rd, right?” He looked frantically back and forth between you and the hostess before she flipped her notebook around to face you both, accompanied by her digital watch. In scratch writing under June 3rd, sat “Peña, party of 2, 6:00 PM.” And on her watch read “Thursday, June 4th.” 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…”  he muttered himself underneath his breath, trying to keep his composure. “Are there any seats left? Anything at the bar, even?” Part of him already knew the answer, but was desperate to not give up yet. 

“Well, we have a corporate event tonight so it’s extra busy. Right now there’s at least a 2 hour wait, and that’s being generous, and no seating at the bar. Again, so sorry for the confusion.” 

He stood frozen in shock. He wanted to scream at himself. How could he have fucked this up? The guilt and panic flooded over him, leaving him speechless. He tried so hard to rebuttal- think of something, ANYTHING. Stuck in his chaotic train of thought, he felt your hand rub over his arm and heard your sweet voice. 

“That’s okay! Thank you for checking! Mistakes happen, not a big deal at all. Come on, Jav, let’s go!” This time, you were the one leading him back through the crowd, him, following you helplessly, trying to think of anything to say. As you finally exited through the doors, the golden sunset shining down into the parking lot, Javi grabbed down tightly on your hand, stopping in his tracks. 

“Fuck, Osita. Fuck, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I fucked this up. I could have fucking swore today was the 3rd. I’m such a fucking idiot I-“ 

“Javi.” 

He stopped. He wasn’t sure what to expect. Were you mad? Angry? Going to agree with him and tell him that he was a fucking idiot? He wouldn’t have blamed you if you did. 

“Do you know how many times I took my class to gym on the wrong day when I first started at Alma Pierce?” 

He looked at you blankly. It was almost like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“A lot. It took me a month and a half. I could have sworn they went to gym every Monday from 2:00-3:00, and at 1:55 every Monday, I would March them down to the gym for Mr. Luíz to tell me I had gym tomorrow from 2:00-3:00. It literally took me having to write it on my hand each Monday- don’t go to gym! For me to finally remember. It’s okay, Javi. I know you’re gonna beat yourself up about this. Please, please don’t. The fact that you even wanted to do something this nice for me is more than enough. I don’t care where we go, if I get to spend time with you, then I’m happy.”  

If I’m with you, then I’m happy. The words danced around his brain, trying to make sure he was comprehending what he had just heard. He had completely fucked up your plans and not only did you not care, you were happy? He was the reason you were happy? That was a sentence he was positive he had never heard before. 

You stepped into him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you gazed into his eyes, still pooling with panic. “I like you, Javi. I like you a lot. You could have taken me to go get hot dogs from the gas station and I would have been excited. Maybe not excited for what they would have done to me after I ate them, but if I got to do it with you, I wouldn’t have cared.” He let out a small huff under his breath, half a smile creeping across his somber face. “There are plenty of places for us to eat, we still have a movie to go see, and when we get back, I am so horny I think I could spontaneously combust.” It relieved you to see the smile grow wider, a genuine laugh now coming out of him. “Promise me.” 

“Promise you what, Osita?” 

“Promise me you won’t beat yourself up over this.” 

“Baby, I-“ 

“Promise me, Javier Jesús Peña. Or I will beat you up enough for the both of us” you poked your finger into his chest, playfully. 

“Promise.” He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head, savoring the sweet and familiar smell of your shampoo as his nose met your hair. “Going full name on me, huh?” 

“Told you, it was good to know in case of emergencies.” You laughed as he shook you, wrapped in the broadness of his arms. “There’s a diner down the road we passed on the way in, I could definitely eat a whole mess of pancakes right now.” 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you liked breakfast.” 

“I don’t joke when it comes to breakfast, Peña” you winked before you stretched up to peck him on the lips. “Let’s go.” You reached to grab his hand, leading him back to his truck. Trailing behind your lead, he soaked up every ounce of the image of you. An image he’d never get sick of. 

You didn’t even bother looking at the menu as you picked a booth in the back corner of the small diner down the street. Javi ordered a sandwich while you shamelessly ordered a stack of blueberry pancakes with whip cream on top. You could tell Javi was still upset with himself, staying relatively quiet since you two had unexpectedly changed your plans. You had a feeling there wasn’t much you could say at this point that would make him feel any less guilty- you would have felt the same way. Looking for a way to get him out of his head, you pulled out a kids menu and a wrapped pack of crayons tucked behind the condiments at your table, scribbling on it before sliding across the table to Javi. 

“Hangman?” Javi looked at you, chuckling. 

“We don’t have to play if you don’t want to, just thought it could be fun. Figured this was better than me coming across the booth to beat you up because I can tell you’re still mad at yourself.” 

This set off a more genuine laughter from him, shaking his head as he crossed his arms and leaned back in the booth. “I don’t know, Osita, after you told me you used to play hockey, you’ve got me a little nervous that you could take me out.” You both snickered at the idea of you trying to take down Javi. “Sure, let’s play.” 

“P?” He questioned, staring down at the dashed lines. 

“P? That’s what you’re gonna start with?” You drew a circle for the head.

“What’s wrong with P?” 

“Vowels first! Makes it way easier!” 

“Sorry, I don’t think I’ve played hangman since I was in elementary school.” 

“Which is why I’m an expert, seeing that I’m in an elementary school practically every day. Next guess.” 

“E?” 

“See, there you go!” You marked down several spots after Javi’s guess. 

“Okay, how about M?” 

“That doesn’t mean stop guessing vowels, dummy. But yes, lucky for you there is an M.” You laughed as Javi continued guessing letters and began eating as your food arrived. Through a bite full of your pancakes you gave Javi a dumbfounded look. 

“Javi… you seriously don’t know what it says? You can go hunt down drug lords in South America but hangman on a kids menu at a diner is what’s gonna do you in?” You both snorted as Javi tried to defend himself. 

“Osita, those are two completely different things.” 

“Well I’m not gonna lie Javi, one seems significantly easier than the other.” 

“Fine, I’ll guess. What movie are we seeing?” 

“Great work, detective.” You remarked sarcastically. 

“Gimme that.” He said, snatching the paper from you as he began to draw his own lines. “Your turn.” 

“Okay, thank goodness, I was worried we were going to miss the movie with how long it was taking you to guess. I'm starting with A.” 

Javi begrudgingly noted down some letters. You continued guessing, quickly filling up the lines until you had figured out the clue. 

“Oh, Jurassic Park! I’ve been wanting to see that! Have you seen the first one?” 

“Jesus, that was fast. No, but I figured it would be one you’d like. 

“I was secretly hoping you’d pick that one, so one point for you, Javier Peña.” You winked at him as you took a final bite of your pancakes. “I know this wasn’t the dinner you had planned, but it was still really good. And we still have a movie to go see and plenty of movie snacks to eat. You ready to go?” Javi smiled at you, nodding, still in disbelief how content you were with how things were going.

Your waiter came around to collect your plates and give you the bill, Javi insisting on paying, despite your attempt to physically try to open his hand and put cash in it. As you made your way out to the car, you reached down to grab his hand, embracing the familiarity of your fingers interlocking, his grasp engulfing yours. Your drive to the movie theater included several more tracks of Queen sing alongs, Javi’s favorite notably being your enthusiastic rendition of Don’t Stop Me Now. With the windows slightly rolled down, the wind blew through your hair, a smile stretched across your face. You were so wrapped up in singing, you hadn’t noticed Javi’s eyes locked on you, completely enamored by your presence. Part of him just wanted to say fuck it to the movie. Instead, take you back to your apartment, fuck, to have you in his truck and show you how thankful he was for you. 

As you pulled into the movie theater, you noticed that Javi had parked in a far back corner, a sizable walk from the front entrance. Before you could ask anything, his mouth was crashing into yours, running his hand through the hair on the back of your head, pulling you closer in. His other hand snaked under the hem of your dress, rubbing along your thigh before reaching under your underwear, his fingers grazing along your entrance.  Your hand mirrored, reaching across to grab his face, before planting kisses along his, working your way up to his ear. As much as you wanted to say nothing, you knew you at least had to tease him a little. You could hear his heavy breaths as you bit at his earlobe and whispered. 

“You owe me 5 dollars.” 

He pulled back, shaking his head, his breathing still labored. “Jesus Christ. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

You leaned back in, planting another kiss on his neck before pulling back. “I told you, I don’t lose.” You winked before giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Tell ya what, because I’m such a gracious winner, I’ll donate my 5 dollars towards buying our movie snacks, okay?” 

“Doesn’t that defeat the whole bet?” He laughed at you. 

“Well I needed to find a way to let you get me to buy something on our date so you don’t pay for anything, and I figured you can’t argue with me if I use my winnings from our bet.” 

“Fair enough.” He sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing. 

“Thank you. You ready to go watch some dinosaurs?” You nudged him before hopping out of the passenger’s side door. Javi sat there for a moment, regaining his composure before following beside you into the theater, his hand now taking its familiar spot locked in yours. 

Javi couldn’t remember the last time he had been in a movie theater. He hadn’t gone in Colombia, probably making it close to a decade since stepping foot into one. Once Javi had told you how long it had been, you wanted to make sure you did everything you could to make it the best experience possible for him. After getting your tickets, you made your way to concessions, getting much more than your 5 dollar bet’s worth of snacks.

“Do you really think we need this much?” Javi asked, now carrying the frozen Coke and M&M’s you had handed him, you carrying a large popcorn. 

“Well first of all, you haven’t been to the movies in forever, so I want you to get the full movie snacking experience. Second, you ate two full bags of popcorn by yourself when we watched Star Wars, so I’m honestly worried this isn’t enough.” Mentally noting that Javi had already had 3 handfuls of M&M’s on your way to your seats. 

You were thankful that you were able to find two seats in the top middle of the theater, considering how crowded it was. You could feel a shift in his demeanor, like he was uneasy with how many people filled the room, constantly scanning back and forth. It wasn’t that Javi minded crowds, it was what could happen in a crowd if something went wrong that made him anxious. He had seen it first hand, and knew how poorly it could end. He hadn’t been somewhere this crowded in a long time, but with his instincts kicking in to overdrive, he could feel himself starting to panic at his current state. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

“Uh yeah, um, I’m fine, it’s just, um-“ 

You patted the seat next to you, ushering Javi to sit down. Once he did, you reached over to grab his hand and squeeze it and rest your head on his shoulder. You had seen this happen before with your brothers, especially your oldest, after he returned back from his first tour of active duty. While you could never truly understand how it felt, the last thing you wanted to do was make Javi feel like you weren’t there for him. “It’s okay. It’s more crowded than I would have thought too. We can stay here or if you need to move or go outside for a little we can do that too. Whatever you need.” You could feel a little of his tension ease as he kissed the top of your head. 

“No, I’m okay, thanks, Osita.” He felt a wave of relief wash over him that some way or another, you just seemed to know what he needed to snap him out of his funk.

“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything. I promise I’ll keep you safe from the dinosaurs.” You giggled while you looked up at him, Javi giving you a playful shake as he moved his arm to wrap over your shoulder, his thumb stroking back and forth across your skin as the lights lowered and previews started. 

As the movie is played, you found Javi’s hand somewhere on your body at all times. Holding your hand, wrapped around you, rubbing your leg, even playing with your hair as you rested your head against the width of his strong shoulders. The other hand was either in the popcorn or reaching down to eat the rest of the M&M’s. Javi really couldn’t have told you what was happening on screen, his eyes had barely left you, watching every reaction to what was happening. He was soaking in every moment, noticing when you laughed, excitedly poking him when something big happened, trying to fill him in so he wasn’t lost on what was happening. He was surprised when you let out a little shriek and grabbed on to him as one of the dinosaurs popped out on screen, even though you insisted that you weren’t scared, just weren’t expecting it. As the movie ended and credits began rolling, you looked over to already find Javi looking at you.

“So, what’d ya think? Good first movie theater experience?” 

“It was great, Osita.” 

“Good, I’m glad. Enjoy your snacks?” You laughed, looking at how the popcorn and M&M’s were completely gone, the frozen Coke only filled with a few sips worth left. 

“Oh shit, yeah, uh sorry…” realizing that he had pretty much eaten everything, oblivious to everything that wasn’t you. 

“It’s okay. I figured given what happened with the last movie we watched. You haven’t been to the movies in who knows how long, I wanted to make sure you got everything you wanted.” Javi wasn’t sure how you did it, but everything you did and said had him falling harder and harder for you. You were everything he wanted. You hadn’t cared when he fucked up the dinner reservations, you wanted to make sure he had fun at the movies, all you wanted was to be with him. Leaning over, he grabbed your face with both hands, engulfing you in a long, deep kiss. He didn’t care if people stared, in fact, he hoped they did. He hoped they’d see how lucky he was that you were his. 

“Wow. What was that for? Not that I’m complaining or anything.” You smirked, pulling away from his grasp. 

He knew it. He knew he couldn’t say it, but he knew it. He settled for what he could say instead. 

“I really like you, Osita. I like you a lot. Thank you for tonight. I, um… I, just, thank you.” 

“Javi, what are you thanking me for? I should be the one thanking you. You’re the one who wanted to do all of this for me. I really like you too, thank you for making tonight so special.”

Kissing the top of your head, he bent down to whisper in your ear. “Tonight’s not over yet, Osita. This isn’t the only part of our date I’m about to make special for you, baby.” He couldn’t help himself. He had spent the whole movie thinking about sneaking his hands further and further up your dress, how perfect you were, blissed out and moaning his name as he was inside you. 

“Jesus, Javi.” You shook your head, speechless. “I don't know what the hell we’re still doing standing here then. I’ll Tyrannosaurus Rex my way through this crowd for you to get me back home ASAP.” He laughed as you grabbed his hand leading him down the stairs and through the crowded lobby back to his car. 

The sexual tension in his car on the drive home was so thick, you would have needed a chainsaw to cut through it. You had both agreed, unlike Sunday, you would both have enough self control to make it back to your apartment, but with the way Javi was staring at you, and how dangerously close his hands were getting under your dress, the prospect of making it another 10 minutes home seemed practically impossible. When you finally reached the parking lot of your apartment, you practically threw yourself out of the car as you and Javi stumbled up the stairway, bodies crashing into one another as your mouths met furiously, hands frantically roaming over each other's bodies. You had no idea how you were able to get out your key and open your door as Javi’s chest pressed into your back, kissing your neck as your hands shakily unlocked your entrance to your apartment. The moment the door closed behind you, your clothes both quickly were shed, leaving a trail of items to your bedroom. Your bodies banged along the hallway as you shuffled your way to the bedroom, your mouths never leaving one another’s. Javi practically threw you onto your bed before shuffling his boxers down to pool around his ankles, his broad and handsome presence hovering over you. He knelt down to the edge of the bed, nudging your knees apart to reveal your pussy, glistening from its wetness. 

“Fuck, I’ll never get over your pussy, baby. Always so fucking wet.” Javi mewled before breathing in heavily and licking a long, broad strip along your clit. His tongue swirled around your heat as your hips bucked towards his face. One hand grasped your sheets while the other ran through his hair, tugging at the dark, curled ends as you moaned. You wanted him so badly to be inside of you, to fill the emptiness you were clenching around. Before you could ask, he slipped not one, but both fingers into you. His hand felt enormous compared to yours, his fingers so much more satisfying as they hit inside you over and over. As both digits curled up and his mouth sucked over your clit, you whimpered breathlessly. 

“Javi, you feel so good. Fuck me, holy shit.” 

“Patience Hermosa, I will, don’t worry.” He winked before diving back down between your legs. His free hand wrapped around your leg, grabbing your hip as you squirmed from how good he felt. The repetitive motion of his thick fingers plunging in you mixed with the skilled movement of his tongue across your sensitive nub had you already clenching down, close to your end. You knew with how worked up you had been this week without him, and what a goddamn menace he was, it wouldn’t take long for you to be on the verge of screaming his name in pleasure. 

“Baby, fuck, fuck I’m so close, Javi, I-“ 

Before you could finish your sentence, your orgasm flooded through your body, legs shaking and head thrown back as you moaned. The pleasure was so intense, and so much better than you could have even remembered. As you came back down from your high, Javi slowly pulled his fingers out from you before sucking them clean, your juices still smeared across his smirking face. “You taste so fucking good, Osita.” 

“Jesus, Javi… holy shit.” You breathed deeply, trying to regain your composure. He leaned over you, kissing up your body, stopping to take each nipple in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue before making his way up your neck.  

“I told you I meant what I said on the phone, baby. Is that okay with you?” His breath was low and raspy as he whispered into your ear. 

“Yes, oh my god, I haven’t stopped thinking about what you said all week. I haven’t been able to look at my dresser the same since.” You both let out light, airy laughs before Javi had picked you up and carried you over to your dresser before sitting you down on top of it. You spread your legs open, pussy still slick and shining from your last orgasm as Javi spit down into his hand before stroking his dick, already hard and desperate to be inside you. He then helped you shimmy down, smacking your ass as you turned around and placed your arms on the dresser. Looking up at the mirror in front of you, you could see the hungry look in Javi’s eyes as he ran his cock up and down your folds, collecting your slick. He kissed your shoulders as he rubbed his hands down the side of your body, squeezing your hips. “Javi, please.” You whimpered, the throbbing between your legs making it feel like he was taking years. 

“What happened to all that patience, Osita?” He smirked as he grabbed another handful of your ass. You were so desperate at this point your brain was unable to form words, only moans pleading for Javi to give you what you wanted. “So needy, huh? I’ll give you what you want, baby girl, don’t worry..” Slowly, he made his way into you, the sting of the sweet stretch of his cock making you breathless. As he bottomed out inside of you, a low groan from him mimicked yours. “So fucking tight, hermosa, fuck.” 

“Javi, move, please.” You were practically begging at this point. 

“I will, Osita. Look in the mirror first, baby.” Your eyes shifted off of the oak of the dresser under your arms and up to the image of Javi’s body towering behind you. His tanned and toned chest, his dark curls and mustache, the lust pooling in his eyes, Jesus, he really was the hottest man you’ve ever seen. 

“I want you to see how pretty you are when I fuck you. See what a good fucking girl you are when you take me so well, when I fuck you full of me. Can you do that for me?” As your eyes met his in the mirror frantically nodding, he began to move himself in and out of you, taking his time. Almost as if he was savoring how good each thrust felt. Each time he pushed back into you, your gasps became louder, the feeling intensifying. The spot he was hitting was so sweet, but your body was pleading for more. 

“Fuck Javi, give me more, please baby. Fuck me harder.” Your eyes once again locking with his, a delightfully surprised look spreading across his face. 

“Yeah, you want me to fuck you harder, hermosa?” You once again nodded rapidly, biting down on your bottom lip. “Use your words, pretty girl.” He teased, slowing his pace enough to make you squirm. 

“Fuck me harder, Javi. Please baby, you feel so good, I want more.” Javi knew his size was larger than average. He definitely hadn’t been gentle with you, but he hadn’t been overly aggressive, not wanting to push your limits and make you uncomfortable. But right now, he had you in the palm of his hand, begging him for more. 

“You sure you want more, baby?” He slowly began to speed up his thrusts, waiting for your answer. 

“Mhmmmm.” You whined at the ridges of his cock rubbing against your walls. “Give it to me, please.” 

With that, his pace changed drastically, his hips snapping into you repeatedly. You could feel every inch of him stretch you out in a way that you couldn’t describe. The way his dick pounded into, filling you so deeply and intensely had your screams echoing off the walls of the room. 

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, oh my god.” 

“Yeah? Feel good, Osita? My good fucking girl, taking me so well.” 

Suddenly, his arm reached under yours, pulling you up so your back was flushed with his chest. He wrapped his arm over your breasts, his big hand engulfing one while his other hand reached down for your clit. The added pleasure made the building feeling in your stomach creep closer and closer, knowing you were about to snap. His calloused fingertips rubbed back and forth as he leaned into you, his mouth grazing along your neck. “Look at yourself, baby. I know you’re close. I want you to see how pretty you are when you come all over my dick.” Your eyes watched Javi’s hand rub faster along your sensitive bundle of nerves before shifting up to see the damp, dark curls stuck to his forehead, a sheen covering his body in sweat. Each snap of his hips hit harder and harder, you feeling your pussy beginning to flutter around his cock. With only a few more thrusts, you felt something snap inside you, your legs shaking as you moaned Javi’s name as you came. Watching you had Javi reeling, his thrusts becoming more frantic as your eyes met in the mirror before he spoke. 

“Where do you want me, baby?” 

“Inside me. It’s yours Javi. It’s all fucking yours.” 

Your words were all he needed before he took one last pump, spilling inside you. You watched in the mirror as his jaw went slack as his muscles tense. You felt his spend covering your walls, his cock pulsing as he finished. He draped his body over yours, your heavy breathing syncing for a few moments before he pushed himself back up, slowly pulling out of you. You whimpered at the loss, feeling the mix of you running down the side of your leg. Suddenly, you felt Javi’s body press into yours, his arm snaking between your legs as two thick fingers pushed into you, making you gasp. 

“Will you keep me in you, hermosa? So I know you’re all fucking mine?” 

“Yes, Jesus Christ.” You whispered under your breath. He watched you nod as he pushed into you one last time before pulling out his fingers and kissing down your back, chuckling as he pulled away.  

“Nope, just me, Javi. Go lay down on the bed, baby. Let me get something to clean you up.” 

“Oh shut up.” You laughed as you still laid slumped over the dresser. “I would move but I think you fucked me so good my legs don’t work anymore.” He snuck up behind you, picking you up and carrying you over to your bed before plopping you down and heading to the bathroom, leaving you giggling, staring at your ceiling. He returned with a warm washcloth, gently wiping you up before tossing it into your laundry basket and climbing under your covers with you. You scooted close to him, your head resting on his chest, arm draped across and one leg hiked up, resting on top of him. His strong arms wrapped around you, tracing circles along your back as he kissed the top of your head. 

“Thank you, Javi.” 

“For what, Osita?” 

“This was the best date I’ve ever been on.” 

“You must have been on a lot of shitty dates then, Hermosa.” 

“I’m being serious, you goofball! I mean yes, I think before this, the most romantic thing someone had done for me was when Paul actually remembered our anniversary, and then asked me if we could go to his favorite sports bar instead of the nice restaurant I picked because he didn’t want to miss a football game that was on that night. But I’m not kidding, the fact that you wanted to spend time with me, let alone plan something nice, I don’t know… it just really means a lot. So thank you.” 

Javi paused for a moment before he responded. He wasn’t sure how to feel. Happy, relieved even, that you had such a good time on a date that anyone else probably would have deemed a disaster? Thankful that you wanted to spend just as much time with him as he did with you? Heartbroken that there had been one too many idiots who had come in and out of your life that had treated you like shit and you had accepted that was as good as it got? 

“Osita, I said it before and I’ll say it again, you deserve it. You’re beautiful and smart and sexy as hell and even if you won’t admit it, you deserve someone who sees that. I still can’t believe that you think that I’m worth any of your time, but I’m sure as hell glad that you do.” He kissed your head again as you nuzzled it closer to his chest, trying to fight back the tears welling in your eyes. Before you could say anything he finished with, “I sure as fuck hope that I never meet Paul either, cause I’d give that fucking guy a piece of my mind.” 

You let out a small huff as you looked up at him. “Ease up there, cowboy. Don’t worry, I think everyone I know has already given him enough shit to last him 3 lifetimes. You’re really sweet, Jav. Thank you.” You stretched up to plant a soft kiss on his lips as you reached up to cup his face. 

“Of course, baby. I lo-“ He stopped himself as quickly as possible. His brain hadn’t even processed the words that were coming out of his mouth. There was no fucking way he could say it, even if he knew it. He just prayed you hadn’t heard his slip up before he continued. “I really like you, and I’m so glad you had a good time tonight. I did too.” 

“Can I see you again this weekend? I know you have to work tomorrow and we just saw each other today and-“ 

“Yes, Osita. I’d love to see you again this weekend. I promised my dad I’d help him with some things around the ranch tomorrow night and Saturday morning but other than that, I’m all yours.” He leaned down to kiss you, his mustache tickling your neck as you pulled away. 

“Perfect. Can I pick something for us to do since you got to pick what we did today?” 

“Is it a surprise, or do I get to know?” He asked mockingly. 

“If yours got to be a surprise, so does mine. I don’t have anything specific picked out yet, but I have a few ideas.” 

“Can’t wait to see what it is, Osita.” 

You glanced over at your alarm clock, forgetting the fact that you didn’t have to set it again until August, and Javi still had one more day until his weekend. “What time do you usually get up in the morning?” 

“Why?” He asked, fingers still tracing up and down your shoulders. 

“So I can get up with you in the morning and make you breakfast and say goodbye to you before you go to work.” Your fingers mirrored his, circling over his bare chest. 

“Hermosa, it’s your first day of summer, you’re not getting up with me in the morning, you get to sleep in.” 

“What if I want to get up with you in the morning? You gonna force me to stay in bed until you leave?” 

“Fine, I’m not waking you up on purpose, but if you’re awake and want to get up with me I’m not going to say no.” 

“Well then I will see you in the morning, bright and early.”

“Okay, Osita. I’m gonna go run down to my car and grab my bag, are you okay if I leave the door unlocked so you don’t have to let me back in?” 

“Sure. I’ll be right here, unless you’ve pulled off hiding your serial killer act this long and you and the rest of your gang have found the perfect opportunity at this moment.” 

“Dork. I’ll be back up in a few, okay?” 

“Safe travels out there.” 

He laughed as he collected his clothes scattered on the floor trailing down the hallway to put on before heading out the door. You rolled over, inhaling the scent Javi had left behind on your pillow, his space still warm from his body. You pulled your covers further over you, snuggling in closer to the space he just was in. Even without him physically next to you, the feeling of knowing he would be back next to you soon flooded your body with a sense of comfort. Not realizing how tired you were until this moment, you felt your eyelids begin to droop, growing heavier with each blink. You swore to yourself you could stay awake the few minutes Javi would be gone, but by the time he returned back up with his bag, he was greeted with the soft sound of snores filling your bedroom. He set his things down at the end of the bed before turning off the lights and stripping himself of his clothes once again before crawling under the covers, spooning you, wrapping your body in his arms. 

“Dulces sueños, mi amor. Te adoro. Todo es más bonito si estás conmigo. Soy tan afortunado de tenerte” (Sweet dreams, my love. I adore you. Everything is more beautiful when I’m with you. I’m so lucky to have you.) 

He kissed your head as he pulled you in closer. He slowly breathed out, a sense of peace and comfort filling his body. He took one more moment to savor your presence before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep next to you. There were few things in life that Javier Peña had ever been absolutely sure of. You were one of those few things. 

[fatalitysficbakery]

𓆰♥︎𓆪 What We Could’ve Had. (Ep. 1)

— Ellie Williams x Riley Abel

genre: angst/fluff/smut-TY.

warnings: rewriting endings.

synopsis: what happens if riley hadn’t died? what life would she and ellie have lived?

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery navigation menu 𓆪.

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery multifandomed &&’ oc menu #2 𓆪.

❦ ⌫ ❦

"Easy girl," I call to my mare when we bound a particularly icy corner, finally eye to eye with something more than miles of snowy forest, the chill hadn't set in until we'd arrived, chalk it up to the adrenaline of having to help make sure myself, two horses, and a grown man are safe from the hordes of infected searching for their next meals. It had been a long road to get here. Figuratively, and literally.

Jackson City.

I never thought I'd see the day, a town lively with families, survivors that escaped the carnage, children, for fucks sake. It almost seemed normal, can't remember the last time I felt normalcy like this, and for a moment, though it was rightful on their part, I wasn't hopeful I ever would.

He had to pull a lot of strings to get me here, Joel. Talked and pleaded for almost 3 months on my behalf, meanwhile, I was stuck holed up in an old warehouse that had begun...decaying. Mold, leaks, holes...If Joel hadn't managed to put in a good word, I don't know where I'd be. When you're an adventure-seeking kid, fighting 'zombies' in an apocalypse sounds exciting, and exhilarating, you fantasize about how you'll save the world, kick infected ass, and most importantly — Be one of the chosen ones to survive. Because of your 'strength', your 'resilience'. I was that and then some, and it had unfortunately burnt bridges I never even got to build.

So, I waited. I waited with bated breathing until the day Joel came back with two horses, food, and supplies for the long road home.

Home. I hadn't had one of those in a while. Not since her anyway.

Hopping down from Lainey's back, I leave her to be taken to the stables. Everyone seemed to have their own tasks, it was a well-oiled engine, you could say. Before I even knew it I was being led down the street, and the question I had on my tongue was as predictable as ever, I could tell by the way the man who never smiled broke character to chuckle at it.

"How is she?"

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"Ellie? Well, she's Ellie. Stubborn as a mule but damn good at any job thrown her way. Ellie...She's...good."

It wasn't long before that familiar brooding solemn Joel returned to my vision, I could tell something was heavy on his mind, and before I knew it I was chewing on my bottom lip with the guiltiest feeling baring on my soul, knowing I was probably to blame for how strained their relationship seemed to be now. I couldn't help it, really, the man looked like a kicked puppy, I had to say something.

I clear my throat and begin an apology that was long overdue on my part. "Hey Joel, I'm uh, I'm so-"

He stopped me with a raise of his hand, shaking his head before letting out a sigh so filled with regret you could hear behind it. "The fault was and is all mine for lying to her in the first place, darlin'. You ain't done a thing but care about Ellie since y'all have known one another, and truthfully...that's all I ask for. She deserves that much."

My mouth went drier than the damned Sahara at his words, but I couldn't get another one of my own in before he was walking ahead of me, forcing me into a power walk so that I could keep up. He eyes me from his peripheral, and a brief moment passes before his arm wraps around my shoulder, it's a fatherly type of presence that I had learned to revel in since I'd gotten closer to Joel. "Welcome home, kid. Let's get you outta this snow, and show you where you'll be sleeping."

He whistles, and calls someone over, a woman, long brunette locks, tan ivory skin, around my height but a little taller comes striding over to us, pretty, looks kind. Joel calls her Dina as he introduces us, her hand held out to shake mine. "Dina, this is Riley, the newest of us. Can you show her to her room? Me and Jesse are heading out to patrol before it gets too dark out here."

Dina nods eagerly enough that it makes me feel less nervous and a little more welcome. "Not a problem, where's she headed?"

"Cabin. By me and Ellie's place."

"Gotcha. C'mon, Ri. We got it from here, right? I think so. It's nice to meet you, by the way. Welcome to our little sanctuary."

She and I were already walking away from Joel and I'd barely even noticed, my heart thundering in my ears, repeating Joel's words over and over like a broken record in my head; I miss almost every word she speaks aside from the last bit, muttering my own 'Nice to meet you too, thank you' back at her, my heart pounding in my chest thrice as quickly as it should.

'Cabin. By me and Ellie's place.'

Jesus, be a fence.

6:00 am, Friday. I remember the first time I saw someone turn into an infected before my own eyes, at first it was like any old common cold, we kept the wound clean but it got bad, horrible really fast. The 'adults' wanted me out while it happened, though I knew what the outcome would be; I'd seen the slaughter and participated in it firsthand just trying to survive, but this was different. — I peeked around the corner after I had been kicked out, a crack in the door my only view into the room, and it was there I saw it go from bad to worse. It had only been around 8 minutes when his symptoms went from common cold to something much more painful, I had never heard such bone-chilling agonized screaming before, his body writhed and twisted, but not in the traditional horror movie sense, no, he looked as if he wanted to get comfortable, ease the pain any way he could but he couldn't. It'd stayed that way for around 4 minutes and then... Silence. Complete. 3 more minutes. It was still like the moment had been frozen in time. You could hear a pin drop. A low growling hum broke the silence. A resounding gunshot joined its cause shortly thereafter. I saw his eyes before they closed for the final time, and if I hadn't known any better, I would've thought he'd seen me too the way they appeared to look directly my way. Grey, nearly dead, but filled with what looked like relief. He seemed almost...thankful. 15 minutes. I counted every minute from the clock in the room to the watch on my wrist, I'd counted. He’d been a normal guy. One that had come and gone in only 15 minutes. And he wasn't the only one, soon it was widely known how fast it took and I was used to counting down every. little. minute. ↳ When did 15 minutes become so long? My hand shook pointing the gun at her, I couldn't do it, man. I wouldn't. I won't. Ellie and I've been holed up in this old abandoned mall for 4 hours now, it wasn't supposed to be this long a trip but we got sidetracked by the wonders of the mall that I'd been wanting to show her since I found it, only, I'd hurt her. I knew I did, she was pissed when I snuck up on her after not checking in in so damn long. I couldn't leave without a goodbye. As I look over at her sleeping figure, I find myself more confused. The last 4 hours were fun, or at least, the first two were. We explored, found stupid scare masks to put on, made our own fun, and finally, we got to play video games, just like the magic skull had told Ellie we wouldn't be able to. The smile on her face had made everything worthwhile. A fairytale in an apocalypse. ...I guess the apocalypse didn't like that all too much. Fun. Romance. It was already too late when the stalker had pounced on Ellie, I emptied my clip into the damned thing and it still got one final bite in. Ellie didn't utter a word about dying, or turning. She seemed disconnected after it happened, her own pistol pointed at her head, she waited for a shot that wouldn't come. I couldn't do it. I pleaded with her. Give me those last 15 minutes. She'd silently nodded. That was two hours ago.

"Well, this is it. I was wondering why Joel seemed so hellbent on getting this place cleaned up. We haven't happened upon any other survivors in months. You must be pretty special, the people around here aren't too...trusting." Dina chattered on as we entered the small one-bedroom cabin that'd be my living space. I had my own living space. It wasn't big, no upstairs, just right for a person living by themselves. I couldn't bite back my grin, a real-life home, no mold, no cracks or leaks, there's a space heater in the corner, I must've looked like a dream-struck idiot because Dina spoke up again.

"Where were you before this? If I may."

"Cold ass warehouse."

I hear her snort a little, leaned up against the opened front door. I was expecting another comment, more small talk that felt like it'd been running on for hours.

Instead, I'm not met with the new sound of Dina's voice, my ears are met with a familiar voice, one I could remember just by the sound of her breathing. When presented with the option of fight, flight, or freeze, I was always more privy to picking either of the former but today, my body seized, a rare freeze.

8:30 am, Sunday. I don't know if I made the right decision. After Ellie survived the bite and continued to survive the bite, I made an impulsive decision a week later. Told Marlene about what had happened, and that's why we're here in this car. El's head in my lap, asleep soundly while riding to Firefly headquarters with Joel to possibly find a cure to end this thing. At least that's how Marlene explained it. She told me they'd run some tests, learn what makes Ellie immune, and see if they could replicate it, turn it into an antivirus. I wanted to stay hopeful; She was. And she'd been the one attacked. Ellie's selfless like that, she always has been, and it amazed me usually. Right now...It fucking terrified me. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread, horror, and concern while going to a place where I had desperately wanted to be only three weeks before. ↳ We had to pull over. The anxiety got so bad Ellie had to hold my hair while I vomited on the side of the road, Joel stood protectively near us with a shotgun in his hand and though neither party complained, I had enough shame and embarrassment for all three of us. The nausea is still here. So is the anxiety.

"Di, you left some clothes at mi-" My heart, I was sure, had dropped to my ass when I laid eyes on her, it was almost surreal. There she was. Ellie Williams in the flesh stood in front of my very eyes, it was like those dramatic romcoms where the two main characters lay eyes on one another for the first time, cheesy music playing behind them and the wind mysteriously blowing in their hair dramatically.

Reality was far less compelling, maybe even disappointing. Her eyes didn't move from mine, gaze unwavering and I wish I could say I held her gaze, that I was a stronger woman, but the person in front of me; Her effect was strong, my heart pounding in my chest, thudding loudly in my ears.

She was still the same Ellie I once knew, her features familiar but older, voice a little lower and filled with a light rasp and a newfound maturity. She was beautiful, but she always had been. — I'm transported into the past, remembering how many times I spent staring at and just...admiring her.

I watch her feet when she shuffles over to Dina, butterflies in my stomach and chest tight. I know I have zero right to be jealous and zero claim on Ellie anymore, hell I barely even know her now but fuck did it still hurt seeing that damned black bra sitting atop the pile of clothes she handed back to Dina, the implications behind it rather clear.

I don't know why I didn't allow myself to speak first, my tongue darting out to lick my dried chapped lips; I couldn't feel any more excited than the moment she took the option from me, she turned to me, that all too familiar half grin on her face. "Riley..."

"You two...know each other?"

My gaze drags itself back over to her and Dina. I only manage a weak nod. Ellie's own eyes hadn't left me, and it fills me with a hope I don't believe I deserve to have. I'm not able to muster even the smallest reply. My chest feels so tight that I have to remind myself I'm not dying, though it feels like a heart attack waiting to happen when I'm standing in front of her. Funny that, an entire apocalypse happening before our very eyes and the thing most likely to end my life were the eyes of the ex-girlfriend I let slip through my grasp. Oh, this cursed blessing we call love and its bittersweet intricacies.

"Ellie?" Dina asks again. The look on her face and the desperation in her voice aren't dead on me. I could tell she'd probably put two and two together on her lonesome when both Ellie and I hadn't uttered a word, both of us looking like deers caught in headlights. She clears her throat, resigning her efforts to find out more, at least for now, that is.

"How did you find this place?" Ellie speaks up next, one of her fists clenched to her side, a tell I'd learned meant she was holding back her emotions. Fighting them with all her might. I didn't quite blame her.

I had a track record for surprising her, and not in ways I've ever been too proud of.

"Joel's been putting in a good word for me, i-it was never a sure thing because the locals wouldn't trust me. Took a good almost 3 months, but I'm here." I muster up the weakest breathy laugh I can, a stupid attempt at keeping things light, but I could tell by the look in her eyes...I'd hurt her again.

I knew why I didn't keep in touch, but it'd always look bad in her eyes, rightfully so. I was always running from something, or towards it. And in pursuit, I'd isolate myself. Abandon the ones who cared too much, who loved too hard. It was all so overwhelming when in hindsight...I didn't even love myself yet, and so I ran. I ran to convince myself I couldn't be loved, or maybe I ran because I'm scared to be loved. Either way, I've done a helluva lot of it. From my past, my present, hell even my damned future.

"So...You've been keeping in touch with Joel? Huh."

Marlene was someone I thought I could trust, I regarded her with the highest respect. She is, was, like a maternal figure to me, motherly and caring. She trained with me, helped me learn to hunt for food, and made sure I was fed and clothed. Hell, she'd have given me the clothes from her sooner than she'd let me go cold. All this being told to say,,, FUCK MARLENE, and FUCK FIREFLY. We're ending this tonight. Ellie deserves better than the world is giving to her, and I'm fucking determined to give it to her. I brought Marlene to her eagerly when I found out just how special I already knew she was, I've put in danger too many damn times for me to count. I'm making this better. Ellie, do you hear me? I'm making this fucking better!

I couldn't breathe, it felt like I was suffocating from thick tension in the cabin, two pairs of eyes on me and the most important set held a hint of betrayal in them, I couldn't hold on much longer but it wasn't me who gave in first. Ellie looks at me with so much conflict in those all too familiar eyes. She looks like she wants to say something, anything. After a while I see her gaze travel back to Dina and I feel a little sense of bittersweet relief.

She was slipping through the cracks of my fingers all over again.

"We should go help start on dinner for the kids, D."

There was something in Dina's gaze that told she picked up on the history. She was quiet, demure as opposed to the excitable social butterfly I'd met just moments before. She nods at Ellie's request, giving me only a quiet "Bye" with a limp-handed wave.

Ellie doesn't look back. I keep willing her to. I know she feels my stare burning through hers. 'Ellie, please' My eyes pleaded, and I could feel tears welling. My heart nearly stops the second she turns one last time. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. Her expression is unreadable, but that doesn't matter to me.

She looked back.

The carnage was bad. Marlene was just one of many Joel and I slaughtered that night. Would you not do the same for the girl you loved? I couldn't watch them kill her, and I got the sense Joel felt a fatherly love towards her now. He wasn't letting her go down without a fight either and that...That I don't regret. She's still alive. The aftermath is what keeps me up most nights. Ellie was suspicious from the get-go, Joel had fed her some lie about there being others like her, about raiders slaughtering the many in the Fireflies massacre. He told her a cure couldn't be replicated from her immunity, and I? I sat there numbly nodding along when all I wanted to do was blurt out the truth and deal with the consequences while this could still possibly be salvaged, and maybe that was delusional of me, but Joel could see I didn't have it me to keep this a secret from her...I could see the disappointment clouding his stare. When Ellie had finally had enough of the storytelling, he told her everything while I sat with my hands folded neatly in my lap and my head bowed cowardly, I wasn't able to look her in the eyes. I had never heard Ellie so angry the night she broke up with me. I deserved it...We deserved it.

"Ex?" Dina asks and I instantly wanna shut down. We were just getting into a rhythm, and though we weren't official? I still feel so damn guilty about the emotions Riley's presence brings me. A conflicting feeling of happiness, relief, a little bit of anger, and sadness? But there was one untapped emotion that was unlocking its cage at the mere sight of her. I choke it down and give Dina an honest answer because I at least owe her that.

"Mhmm. But we were kids. Nothing serious."

The understatement in my words made me wanna curl in on myself. How could I sit there and tell Dina she wasn't serious to me when she's been the only thing on my mind since before I even met Dina.

I feel sick.

"Nothing serious, Williams?" Dina arches a brow as if scanning me for any hint of a lie, and I cook up another one even with multiple on my tongue already. I stomach the acid that comes with swallowing my words. Hard truths.

"Yeah. Nothing serious. Why? Jealous?" Our shoulders knock, and I force myself to smile, I give myself this distraction because I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face the music. Eventually, I know it won't be an option but right now...

"That's cute, Williams. No, I'm not jealous but remind me to kick your ass with some snowballs later just for asking."

"Defensive. Must be some truth to it."

Dina sends a glare my way and that red blush dusts across her cheeks with a familiarity that both warms and breaks my heart immensely. She gives me the middle finger and I can't help but chuckle. "Again? Would be my pleasure."

She groans, but I can see that little hint of a smile appearing on her lips. One she can't control, and yet she tries hard to.

"Shove it."

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"WHEW." Exhaustion was written on Riley's face, the midmorning frost can hardly keep her awake, nor the sound of hooves galloping through the snow. What does keep her awake comes in the form of the brunette on the horse in front of her.

Exes were something most regarded through black and white lenses, there were unwritten guidelines on how to deal with them and the most important always seemed to be to stay away from them. Protect your peace; Heal.

It was easier said than done when Ellie Williams was your ex. She had an effect on people that left a mark in their psyche so deep, she simply stayed there far past her welcome. Riley was aching, she was aching every day she was near her. The air was always thicker than a knife could cut it, so many words were left unsaid, and emotions were left with no closure.

Neither is ready to talk just yet. Neither are ready until the first rumble of thunder and lightning. The two stop their horses to look at back at one another with concern etched onto their features. Riley is the first to speak up.

"Should we go back?"

Ellie's eyes take Riley in and for a moment she's silent as if contemplating something before ultimately shaking her head. "Nah, I know a place not too far from here. We won't have time to go back. C'mon."

Without another word uttered between them, Riley trails behind her heart beating out of her chest at the thought of being alone with Ellie for God knows how long while the storm raged, this was something she'd been anxious about since the first day she was allowed duty.

↳

There were unwritten rules when dealing with exes and the most important was that you obviously don't associate with them let alone get back together with them, and maybe that was Ellie's problem. She had never been too fond of the rules. Her eyes were glued to Riley's back as they walked into the warehouse, a storm brewing too fast for them to dodge it and get back to town, Riley could feel her heart pounding at simply the thought of being stuck with Ellie during a snowstorm.

What would they do? Talk about? She was convinced Ellie wanted nothing to do with her and she couldn't start a conversation, not with guilt bearing on her heavier than it'd done the night she betrayed her.

She can't look her way.

"Y'know if we're gonna be stuck here, we might as well get used to it."

Ellie was the first to speak up and it'd shock Riley into silence if she'd been talking. She swallows, her palms feeling sweaty and eyes darting around the room to find something they can land on. She has to reply but she has no idea what to say.

"Yeah." is all she musters. Fucking yeah.

"That the best ya got? After all these years?"

Ellie doesn't know what she's doing or why she's doing it, she just knows Riley brings it out of her and she hates every last second of it, the way her heart desires forgiveness and reconciliation, even if her mind didn't. It was a pull she could never quite deny when it came to her.

Riley licks her lips, head nodding. She turns on her heels and their eyes meet for the first time since they'd reunited in a way that gave Riley hope in her time here. Their time here. "You wanna talk? Okay, let's talk."

↳

"We were so young back then. Naive. Stupid." She coughed, her lungs hadn't felt the burn of smoking weed in so long. She'd almost forgotten it existed until Ellie pulled a joint out of her boot; Her cough turns into a small laugh that's followed by Ellie's own. Her hand reaches over and she damn near flinches when it's rested on her arm. She can't help the way her eyes shift to the movement, Ellie's voice soft in her ears.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

The silence that befalls them is a tense comfort, their eyes never drifting and both with matching smiles on their lips.

"I missed you, Ri. You were suppoed to be here."

Riley's smile slowly faded with Ellie's words, looking elsewhere, she leans forward slightly, "I'm sorry I wasn't."

Before Ellie even knows it she's reaching out, tilting Riley's head back to her, lips without further warning pressing to hers, and for once in her life, she doesn't regret it.

It feels right. Ellie's hand tangles into her hair, tugging her as close as she could damn well get her as she attempts to put years of being apart, years of trauma and heartbreak into one lousy kiss.

Her hands roam, and it's not something just desperate. Something needy. She wants to memorize Riley all over again, and if she could simply confirm the reality of the situation as well, she absolutely would. She simply needed the confirmation.

Her fingers trail up her neck, eyes moving down to the woman who'd somehow ended up beneath her, chests heaving and lips connected by a thin line.

"Thank you for coming back."

A lazy smile rests upon her lips, her body filled with nervous energy, she wished to be cool, smooth, something that didn't come out as a shy muddled mess, yet the second her lips part...

"Can we...do that again?"

"Kiss?" A low chuckle rumbles through her chest, propped up on an elbow with her chest pressed against hers.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" Licking her lips, she brings Rylie closer, feeling the tension release from her joints, the stress of longing and unending denial. She'd always carried it with her like weight, something she couldn't shake.

For now, she feels light.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

Ellie's eyes cut over to Dina for the 50th time, chewing on her bottom lip, I can tell she feels the same horrid mix of guilt and relief. I can see it on her face and I don't think I can quite blame her. What we've done...

I never deserved to just be able to walk back into Ellie's life and I'm sure Dina is feeling every bit of it, I think I know the feeling. That hopelessness I felt the moment I saw them together. As though I thought she wouldn't have moved on.

"It's okay, El." I put a hand on her shoulder that I know won't be as relieving and comforting as I hope it to be.

"She's looking over here." She whispers back to me, hand grasping mine like it was her only way to escape, and my lips take no time when kissing the back of it, allowing her to pull me closer for a moment.

I feel sick myself, I feel nauseous. I know I don't deserve this. I know Dina deserves better, and yet my selfishness doesn't allow me to let go. I hold on tighter.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I can feel my stomach tighten. I deserve this. Whatever hell there is to pay.

Instead she holds up a red solo cup and offers it to me. I can smell the nostalgic aroma of hot chocolate, the steam warming my freezing cheeks as I take it between a gloved hand. El lingers right beside me, I can feel her breath on my skin.

"Drink. It has marshmallows. That's a rarity, y'know." Dina prompts, nodding her head to the cup, her expression hasn't changed and it's almost threatening though in the most oddly comforting sense I had ever felt.

"Is it poisoned?" My stomach growls, hesitating the slightest bit to bring it to my lips. It was a joke. Mostly.

Without a beat skipped, Dina shrugs. "Yes."

There it stays, that blank expression for another beat or two. All three of us are stuck in a staredown and none of us a blinking.

Her lips quirk up into a little half-smile. I'm soon to follow. Ellie looks relieved.

My lips wrap around the rim.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

A/N: I’M BACK! and i brought LESBIANS with me!! 😁