#wanting to do a passenger edit set to this song is the reason i learned how to do video edits

[visceravalentines]

the passenger - hey man, nice shot

[bratkook]

girls like you. (m) kth

‘swear to god she's a blessing and a curse, should’ve learned from you’

pairing. taehyung x reader genre. smut, some plot (not really) word count. 26k warnings. three separate smut scenes: masturbation in a public bathroom, handjob, exhibitionism on a bus, tae creeps on oc’s nudes, brief mentions of oc being a sex worker, dirty talk, messy sex, praising, grinding, pussy job, cum swallowing, overstimulation, forced orgasms, oral (m. receiving), fingering, begging, use of sex toys (hitachi), color system, use of safe word (yellow not red), crying, edging, choking, cockwarming, oc is very much straight forward and ‘in charge’ but def not a dom summary. girls like you were the ones he desired from afar. girls like you weren’t the girls you take home to mother. girls like you knew the power they had over a boy like him and fuck, did he love it. note. this is a reupload of an older story that i took down to be re-edited. it’s essentially pure filth with some plot and it’s mostly an excuse to write something where Taehyung is a little submissive compared to the reader. also 100% inspired by the song girls like u by blackbear. please let me know your thoughts on this thank u ilysm !!

The daily commute from his home to university was always long and boring to put it simply. The monotonous routine was something he could do with his eyes closed. It started the same every morning, waking up with sleep still heavy on his lids, grabbing a quick bite to eat from the convenience store by the bus stop, and waiting in the differing degrees of weather until the hunk of metal creeped up the street. 

There was one plus to dragging himself out of bed at the ungodly hour of five am in order to catch the bus on time—really why did he ever think choosing morning classes was the way to go—regardless, the blessing came in the form of a near empty bus the second he stepped on.

Considering he was one of the first stops for this route, he’s lucky enough to always snag a seat. It's the same seat every time and he’s almost positive the regular riders knew this by now. Snagging a seat meant he could tuck his headphones in, rest his head against the window of the bus and pretend the way his head bounced back from the potholes wasn’t killing the last remaining brain cells he had.

What difference would a few brain cells be in the grand scheme of things? He couldn’t care less, always more focused on whatever was on his phone. The brightness was dimmed to an appropriate setting to not burn his dry eyes, strands of hair covering his face as he looked down at his lap, fingers scrolling robotically through his instagram feed and then switching over to his twitter.

It must have been a sign from god that made instagram crash that morning, causing an influx of annoying ‘is instagram down for anyone else or just me’ tweets that made him roll his eyes and choose to lock his phone and lift his head up from its permanent downcast position. He was getting a mean case of tech neck anyways, rolling his head and shoulders to release the awkward tension lingering in his muscles.

That’s when he noticed the eyes staring right at him. Had he looked up more often he would have known that those exact eyes had been watching him intently for weeks now, sitting and hoping he would eventually look up. He’s half expecting you to look away, embarrassed by being caught blatantly staring at him but instead, you tilted your head slightly and gave him a sly smirk, almost as if you’re taunting him to look away. And that’s exactly what he does, his eyes darting away and apparently his whole head wanted to follow, ramming against the window with a nice whack.

Great. Good going man.

He could feel his face burning with embarrassment, refusing to look up because he could just picture you laughing at him. Hell, maybe you were recording him with the purpose to post once instagram decided to get it’s shit together. With that in mind, it didn’t take much debating before he decided that repetitive tweets were more entertaining than making eye contact with you again, unlocking his phone and beginning the endless scrolling once more.

The long ride allowed him to eventually push his embarrassment aside, eyes lazily skimming the words on his screen, not digesting anything he’s reading. It’s not until the bus jolted forward at his stop that he took a chance and looked over at you quickly, noticing you were already up by the front, waltzing out of the doors before he could even get himself up from his seat.

A double take out the window confirmed that he was in fact at the university bus stop, hastily shoving his phone into his pocket and hurrying off the bus before the driver could get annoyed at his slow pace. 

Your silhouette was slowly disappearing through the crowd of other students and he had to snap out of his small daze once he lost you entirely, shrugging his shoulders at the odd encounter before making his way towards his first class of the morning.

His university is pretty large, the amount of students here bordering on absurd and it’s the main reason he chose to take the bus to school instead of driving because the parking lot is literally hell on earth. With all that said, he still couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t seen you before this morning. Had you always taken that bus with him? Also, how long had you been staring at him? Maybe it was just today, but fuck, did that mean he had something weird on his face...or maybe his hair looked jacked up in order for you to just stare.

“You good?” The sound of Jungkook brought him out of the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, coming to a screeching halt and settling back into the dust as he came back to reality. Once his eyes finally focused back in, he realized he’s been staring at some random girl a few seats down with a zombie like expression. No wonder she was now giving him a bizarre look.

“Fuck.” Too embarrassed to even attempt to apologize to his classmate, he averted his eyes and looked to his left where Jungkook sat, a concerned expression on his face as he took a giant bite out of his oversized breakfast burrito. “I’m good.”

Jungkook gave him a once over, narrowing his eyes as he chewed his food, a bit of egg lingering by his lip. “Bullshit.”

The look of disgust on Taehyung’s face was very evident, so Jungkook could only smile before taking yet another massive bite out of his burrito, making an absolute show of chewing the meal. 

“You’re fucking disgusting.”

“Thanks.” Jungkook laughed, blowing his friend a kiss before properly chewing and taking a gulp of his water. “You sure you’re good Tae? You were staring into the fucking abyss or something earlier.”

From first glance he definitely looked like he was really thinking about some deep rooted issues. His body had been slightly hunched over his desk, eyes zoned out on that poor girl but his mind was elsewhere. An array of emotions had played out on his face, features contorted into different forms of distress as he had a mental conversation with himself. So when Jungkook walked in and saw him in that state he just had to make sure he was alright.

“I’m fine, just had a weird morning is all.”

The next morning started off the same as always. Taehyung only had two morning classes today so he stayed in his sweats and hoodie, stopping by the convenience store to grab something to eat before getting to his bus stop. 

It was routine: his feet dragging along the sidewalk and coming to a halt beside the bench, mind still heavy with sleep, until a flash of a memory pops in so quickly it made him wince. 

That’s when he was reminded about you. 

You had left his mind after his first class yesterday, the stress of assignments taking over the part of his brain that was curious–and a little embarrassed–about your interaction. All that occupied his day was finishing that essay for his biology class, facetiming Jimin who needed help deciding between shirts before his date, and now the kimbap he currently had in his hand. 

But as he sat at the bench waiting for the bus, the only thing repeating in his mind was him smacking his face against the glass so hard his brain rattled, and unfortunately, his breakfast didn’t seem as appetizing anymore.

When the familiar hunk of metal pulled up in front of him he couldn’t help the small feeling of nerves bubbling up in his stomach. He felt a little stupid, how one situation was making him overthink little things when for all he knew you’ve been riding the same bus for months.

He shuffled down the aisle after swiping his bus card, head staring at the floor because he was a little scared to look up and see you on the bus already. Thankfully his usual seat was unoccupied—the last row at the back right next to the right window—so he made a beeline right towards it. 

Crinkling from his pockets filled the quiet bus as he finally settled into his seat, setting his backpack onto the floor right between his legs. Moving slowly in order to not draw attention, his hand reached in and pulled out the kimbap from his pocket, peeling it open and taking a bite off the corner. His eyes took a peek up, cautiously drifting over the few passengers on the bus with him and noticing that you weren’t on the bus yet.

Okay, my stop is before hers.

Taehyung’s body instantly relaxed into his seat, a small sigh leaving his lips. The creeping feeling of embarrassment faded away now, allowing him to fish his phone out of his pocket as he enjoyed his breakfast, fingers tapping as he scrolled and liked the occasional picture on instagram.

Considering it was a Wednesday morning all social media was pretty dead, so once he got to the end of everything, he locked his phone and just stared at the scenery blending together. 

Before he could fully zone out, something made his nerves light up. A small burning sensation coming from his left and he had an inkling of what it could be. Carefully, he lifted his head away from against the window and let his eyes travel over to where he just knew you were sitting.

Yup. There you were. A few seats closer than last time, sat in one of the single seats facing the aisles, staring right at him. His eyes trailed down from yours and couldn’t help but stare at the small bit of cleavage you had showing in your low cut shirt. A gold charm was resting between your boobs, cursive letters spelling out what he could only assume was a nickname. 

He only realized he was blatantly staring at your tits when the sudden movement of your hand coming up brought him out of his stupid fuckboy trance.

To be honest, he was expecting you to move your hand to lift your shirt up or flip him off, he wasn’t expecting you to tug your shirt down a bit further and lean over, placing your chin on the hand that was resting on your crossed leg. His wide eyes drifted up to your lips, seeing the gloss shining off of them, showcasing the little smirk you had on.

You were taunting him, seeing if he would look away this time or not, and surprisingly he hadn’t. He wasn’t looking at your boobs now though, his eyes were zoned in on your lips and the occasional pink bubble you would blow with your gum.

Deciding to take it a small step further, you leaned back a tiny bit and let your fingertips graze the top of your chest while maintaining your gaze on him. That was when his eyes shot down to your chest once more, seeing the heart outline tattoo on your pinky before quickly looking around the bus at the other riders who weren’t paying you any attention. 

When he finally got the courage to look directly at your eyes you just gave him a wink before leaning all the way back in your seat and deciding you were done with whatever the hell that was, leaving Taehyung sitting in his seat, slightly sexually frustrated and a little confused at how something so simple could rile him up.

When the bus jolted to a stop in front of the university you hopped up from your seat and headed off to your class with a hop in your step, satisfied with your little game. Taehyung could simply watch with a dumbfounded expression, immediately standing up from his seat and awkwardly holding his bag in front of him to try to hide his junk as discreetly as he could. 

This was embarrassing. Why was every encounter he’d had with you this far ended in him feeling embarrassed and you feeling accomplished?

Little did he know that’s how the majority of your encounters would go. The bus ride to school was now the leading cause of his blue balls and the highlight of your rather boring morning. He had now started to see you around school more often, whether that was because he was now looking out for you or purely coincidental, he wasn’t sure but he was certain you were taunting him. Especially with the outfits you would wear. They weren’t vastly inappropriate, but it seemed like every pair of shorts got a little shorter and every skirt a little tighter.

Obviously he knew he probably wasn’t the only dude who was on your radar, so it was a little self centered to assume you were doing this just to him, but it was definitely affecting him to the extent of his friends asking him what the hell was on his mind.

“Honestly dude, what’s your deal?”

“Hm?” he questioned, one hand on the lid of his coffee cup while his eyes stared at the table they were currently sitting around in the nearby coffee shop. Taehyung had been zoned out the entire time his friends had been talking about the upcoming party at Seokjin’s fraternity later this week. His mind just kept repeating the scene that unfolded on the bus earlier that morning with you, a skirt that was too short, and the way you let him catch a glance of your underwear when you accidentally opened your legs too wide when you went to cross them over.

“Like, what porn are you watching that constantly has you in a daze?”

“Yeah, send us a link or something!”

Taehyung frowned at his friends' comments, although they weren’t really too far off. He might not be thinking about porn exactly, but his thoughts were far from pure regarding you.

Jungkook was cackling obnoxiously as the rest of his friends cracked jokes about Taehyung being a porn addict, and honestly it was a shocker they hadn’t been asked to leave from the sheer volume coming from the group. Add the vulgar topic of porn to the mix and it was only a matter of minutes before the cute barista who had a huge crush on Yoongi would come over and shyly ask them to keep it down.

“Shut up,” Tae grumbled out, hand abandoning his coffee cup and aggressively rubbing his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to scrub the thought of you out of his mind like a dirty stain on his clothes.

Namjoon was the one who suddenly gasped like a child finding change on the floor. “Fuck, it’s not porn is it?”

That caused a couple of confused grunts to come from around him, choruses of ‘well if not porn then what’ and ‘no way don’t you see the difference in buffness between his arms he’s totally addicted to some weird shit.’

Taehyung sat up a little straighter, a small look of curiosity on his face as he glanced at Namjoon. Yes, his friend was the genius of the group in every sense of the word but he couldn’t have possibly figured it ou— “Who’s the girl you’ve been literally fantasizing over for weeks?”

Fuck.

Whoops and hollers were the next sound of choice from his immature friends, Hoseok going as far as violently shaking his shoulder while everyone teased him and that’s when Eunha finally walked over very timidly.  

“Hey Yoongi.”

Yoongi glanced up at the sound of his name, his smile growing a little softer when he noticed who it was coming from. Everyone knew she had a crush on him—including Yoongi himself—so they always tried to be as nice as possible to her. “Hey Eunha.”

She tucked a piece of her short hair behind her ear, her eyes drifting to everyone around the table before landing back on Yoongi. “Sorry, my boss is just saying you guys are being a little too loud and I don’t want him to kick you guys out so,” she pressed her palms together gently. “Could you guys just bring it down a tiny bit?”

“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. We’ll keep it down, thanks babe.” A small blush tinted her cheeks at the pet name and she was only able to mumble out a meek okay before she scurried off with a giant smile on her face.

All of them watched her round the corner and slip into the employee only backroom, smiles on all of their faces until the door swung shut, and then they were back to all eyes on Taehyung. 

“So, who is she?” They all inched in a little closer at Jimin’s question, acting like fucking vultures, desperate for any bit of gossip Tae was willing to spill. They couldn’t be blamed though, they had witnessed their usual charismatic friend go from flirting with random girls and throwing jokes here and there to basically sitting in class in a weird zombie-like trance. But those were only the days where he had morning classes, so they just needed to find the connection between it all.

“Just some girl I ride the bus with to school.”

There was a beat of silence before Yoongi spoke up. “Okay, so ask her out?”

Now how was he supposed to come out and say that you and him had never really spoken, and he didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know his, and the only interactions you’ve had were very sexual in nature, but you’ve also never physically touched each other? He was stuck, only able to chew on his lips in thought, but luckily his friends took that as a cue to encourage him.

“Yeah man, ask her out or something! Especially if she’s got you this strung up.”

He wanted to laugh, really he did, but he also realized that he really didn’t have anything to lose when it came to approaching you. If he approached you and it didn’t go in his favor then he could just move on with his life. Pretty simple right?

That was how he found himself bolting up the second you did the next morning on the bus, standing a few feet behind you as the bus pulled up to the stop. You had chosen to simply stare at him every now and then during this particular morning, extremely PG compared to the other rides, so he thankfully didn’t have the majority of his blood rushing to his dick today. Because of this, he was hopeful he could actually say some words to you that didn’t make him seem like an asshole.

You stepped off the bus quickly, your heeled booties clicking against the steps and landing on the concrete smoothly, whereas his vans thumped the whole way down with a lot less grace in his haste, but he was able to catch up to you nonetheless.

He didn’t want to shout out your name because well, he didn’t actually know your full name aside from the cute charmed necklace you constantly wore, and what better way to garner more creepy points than to make it clear he stared at your tits. So he chose to jog up to you and place a hand on your shoulder, making your body come to a halt, but it was almost like you were expecting it with the half smile that graced your face.

“Hey, what’s your deal?”

Nice first words Taehyung.

You raised a brow at his remark, arms coming to cross under your chest as you watched him with clear amusement on your features. “My deal?” Your voice had him pausing momentarily, he was half expecting it to sound high and sweet but there was a slight edge to it, the sound a little lower in tone than he had mentally imagined.

“Uh yeah.” He let go of your shoulder and chose to fidget with the black beanie on his head instead, his palms going clammy. “You’ve been staring at me for weeks on the bus.”

You were staring at him intently, watching how nervous he was to even speak to you, not an ounce of shame on your face at being called out. The fact that he was even talking to you had caught you off guard. You weren’t really expecting him to ever say anything at this point since most men would have pounced for a chance to get a word in after the first time they had caught you staring at them.

“Does that bug you?”

“No!” He instantly shouted out, hands outstretched almost as if he was scared of offending you. “I just wanted to know why you…stare?”

You nodded along, your lips turning up at the corners slyly, tongue gently running along the bottom of your teeth as you smiled. “You’re nice to stare at.” His eyes widened at that and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked in that moment. Why did he seem like he was so out of his element? 

“And,” you started as you pulled a slip of paper and a pen out of your small side bag, quickly jotting something down before folding it in half. “I’ve just been thinking about how cute you’d look between my thighs for the past couple of weeks, so message me whenever you want.” You reached down and picked up the hand that was resting by his side, your fingers opening his palm and sliding the paper into it before closing it and just walking away without a second glance.

How could you just waltz away as if you hadn’t made him combust internally, calling him cute while slipping in a filthy thought. You hadn’t even cared to get his name before you admitted to wanting to sleep with him, and if this were a frat party and Taehyung was absolutely wasted that���s exactly how he would approach a girl too, but being on the receiving end made him a little unsure of himself.

The tiny folded paper in his palm was spread apart and that’s when he finally learned your actual name, along with your number which was written beside it in black ink and finished off with a heart.

He never got the courage to text you.

Well, not until he saw you on the bus the following morning with a damn lollipop in between your lips. The way you slowly trailed it up towards your lips was just asking for dirty thought to cross his mind. 

That was exactly your reason for doing it though, this was like a game for you, he just didn’t realize it and that’s what enticed you to continue it, torturing him slightly since he had failed to reach out to you.

You let the green lollipop rest on your tongue momentarily before gliding it down and letting the tip of your tongue circle around it, seeing his eyes widen slightly at the provocative action.

Taehyung looked around at the lingering passengers to see if anyone was watching whatever this was going down but there was no audience, there never seemed to be one. The only passengers were gathered towards the front, all engrossed in their books or phones so they don’t see the way you swirl your tongue around the candy.

You clearly had the art of seduction down by how quickly he could feel his pants tightening but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were glued on your mouth, the way you were enjoying that stupid sucker was way too sexual and it didn’t help that your eyes were piercing into him. You knew exactly what you were doing to him. With how fixated his eyes were you could tell what thoughts were floating in his mind, especially by the way he shifted in his seat.

Taehyung was currently hating his life with all he had in him for wearing sweats, gray sweats to top it off. Those are surely going to show the nice outline of his half hard dick when he gets up.

He really should look away from you but every time he tried, flashes of you between his legs would entice him to keep staring. There has never been a moment where he felt more like a pervert than right now and he almost felt ashamed to be watching you. Almost.

This was just fun for you, you weren’t dwelling on this as much as Taehyung was. You only ever thought of him when you woke up for class and wondered how you were going to subtly torture him on the commute to school. You wanted to see how far you could take it before he reacted differently, whether that be him approaching you in person once more or finally shooting you a text.

Would he ever make a move on you? It was hard to tell considering he never reached out and what man would turn down an invite for casual sex if he was semi interested. Would he ever tell you to stop? You obviously would, but the way he denied being bothered by you giving him attention just led you to believe he was very much into it.

The subtle shift in his seat also showed you how much he was into the little show you had for him. He had pulled his phone out, tapping on a new message with your name being typed in.

Why are you doing this– he quickly deleted that, the little line flashing as it waited for the next words to be typed out.

Do you enjoy giving me random boners this early– nope delete that too.

The feeling of the bus coming to a stop made him lift his gaze from his phone and back to you, a small wink was shot in his direction before you were standing up and walking your way towards the front of the bus, your lollipop making your cheek bulge out as you let it rest on the side of your mouth. Taehyung just watched you standing there, one hand gripping the metal railing above you as the bus approached the stop. You gave one last glance over your shoulder to see if he had moved before you stepped off the bus, taking the sucker out of your mouth and giving him a wicked smirk before popping it back in and sauntering off to your first class of the day.

Taehyung once again had a boner pressing against the fabric of his pants and he couldn’t help the groan that left him because dammit, this was happening too often. He was tired of having to daydream about nasty shit to get it to go away while you just pranced off satisfied with how you left him.

He hesitated in his seat for a moment, debating whether he should hop off and head back home so he could calmly deal with the current situation in his pants or if he could suck it up and actually focus enough during his first class.

The bus driver looked at his rear mirror and gave him an irritated look, and with that his decision was made for him. Well a compromise actually, he wouldn’t be able to focus in class when all he was thinking about was your lips around his cock and the fact that you admitted to wanting to fuck him, but he also couldn’t leave school entirely because he had a test his next class and the bus ride back to his house and back to school was too troublesome to bother with.

So he was currently headed to the boys restroom in the building his first class was in, a little more pep in his step because he was finally going to fix one of the problems you caused. Did he feel a little shame in him? Yes. He did. But he was currently blocking that out entirely. All he was thinking about was how great the feeling of his hand around his dick was going to be, and that alone was enough to get him to walk just a little bit faster.

He entered the building and climbed up the stairs two at a time, clearly in a hurry but who could blame him. Luckily most classes were currently in session and if someone didn’t have a class they were usually lounging outside or getting coffee nearby so he knew the bathroom would be free of people, proven right when he swung the door open and saw no one inside.

Taehyung walked to the stall the furthest away from the door and deemed it worthy enough before stepping in and locking it behind him. He took a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him, having somewhat of a mental debate. Had he really gotten to this point where he had to resort to jacking off in a bathroom stall?

He let one of his palms rub down his face for a moment, but only a moment because he had a problem to fix and right now his throbbing dick was way more important than his morals. So he shrugged off his backpack and hung it behind him on the hook and slid his sweats down along with his boxers, the material bunching together around his thighs.

Taehyung shut his eyes, not being able to stare at the porcelain toilet in front of him as he wrapped his hand around his cock, the feeling making a shudder run up his back. A gentle tug started his motions, his shoulders dropping from finally feeling some sort of relief after the show you had put on for him. The way your pink lips were wet from sucking on your candy made it easy to picture you between his legs, your lips coated in saliva from giving him what he’s sure would be the best blowjob of his life, chin messy as you stuck your tongue out for him.

He could almost feel his hands in between your hair, tugging on your strands as you picked up the pace, so he mimicked it himself, stopping momentarily to spit into his palm to make the glide a little smoother. 

Fuck, he really should have texted you, maybe then he wouldn’t be doing something as filthy as this. Maybe—no he definitely would know what this would feel like in real life, but his hand would just have to do.

A groan left his mouth as he tugged on his cock faster now, eyes squeezing shut as he pictured you sucking on the tip of it, your eyes looking up at him in the same piercing way they always did. He’d like to think that you’d deepthroat him, or tease him, maybe even edge him because you definitely liked to torture him. His mind was flipping through a million and one scenarios as his pace sped up, now hunched over the toilet, the hand that wasn’t pushing him over the edge of an orgasm pressed against the wall in front of him.

His hips started thrusting into his hand, joining in on the motion, a whine felt at the back of his throat begging to come out because of how desperate he felt for his release. The pent up frustration he had for himself, and how badly he wanted to fuck you, paired up with his thumb focusing on his tip every time he stroked up brought him to his orgasm. A choked groan left his mouth as his hips stuttered, his hand continuing to stroke himself rather quickly as ribbons of white shot into the toilet. His groans turned into soft whines as he kept up the pace, the tingles he felt on his dick from the oversensitivity felt too good for him to stop, he was way too desperate for this and it was disappointing that it was over. It wasn’t until his hips and stomach continued to twitch that he finally pulled his hand away from his softening dick.

Taehyung leaned his back against the door, feeling the material of his backpack against him as he slumped down. His forehead was sweaty and his chest was heaving from his orgasm but he was content with himself now, mind no longer whirling with thoughts of you and that damn lollipop. He grabbed toilet paper and cleaned himself up before wiping down the toilet seat as clean as he could and flushing the evidence down the toilet.

He secured the strings to his sweatpants once again and stepped out of the stall, standing a little taller, glancing from side to side and letting out a breath of relief that no one was occupying the urinals or stalls. After washing his hands he stepped back out into the halls of his university and headed down the stairs to go sit in the quad to wait for his next class.

You were going to be the death of him. How was it that you had this much power over him and were so unaffected by it? He needed to do something about this, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Taehyung ignored the notifications on his screen from his friends and opened up a new message, typing in your name before staring at the blank thread waiting to be filled.

Taehyung 9:40am : I hope you’re happy with the problem you gave me.

Was that the best message to send? Probably not, but he wasn’t letting himself think about it too much before the spark of courage left him so he tapped send and immediately backed out of the message, choosing to pretend to occupy his mind by reading the texts he got from Jungkook. The typical ‘are you dead’ texts he would send him if he ever missed class, along with a random text from Namjoon asking if he’d made a move on the mystery girl yet.

Taehyung jumped so hard his phone almost fell out of his grasp when it buzzed with a new text from you. His fingers couldn’t move fast enough to open the notification but his smile dropped instantly when he saw your response.

Y/N  9:51am : Who is this?

How should he respond to this? Were you joking? 

His lips were pursed as he stared at his screen, waiting to see the three little dots indicating that you were still typing, maybe saying it was a joke but they never popped up so Taehyung decided to be rational and realize that he literally never gave you his name.

Taehyung 9:53am : It’s Taehyung.

Stupid. You wouldn’t know who that was so he went back and started typing another response only stopping when another one of your messages popped up.

Y/N 9:54am :???

Taehyung 9:55am : Boy on bus

He left the messages open, staring at the screen and grinning to himself when he saw the notification pop up under his text, letting him know you had read the message. But when you never replied as the minutes went on, he started to feel a little dejected, so he locked his phone and shoved it deep into his pocket as he tried to go about the rest of his day.

Taehyung liked to think he was a very easy going guy, someone who doesn’t let little things get to him, but that was just him lying to himself. He was relatively chill about 70 percent of the time, but that remaining 30 percent? Oh boy, that was the over thinking, over analyzing, Taehyung.

“Are you okay?” Solji, the girl who sat next to him in his environmental science class asked him. They hardly ever spoke unless they were exchanging notes for upcoming quizzes, but with the way his face currently looked she just had to make sure he wasn’t going through something serious. She tried once more but when he didn’t answer she just shrugged and decided it wasn’t her business.

He had his brows furrowed so deeply there was a small little indent in between them, his eyes focused on the corner of his desk while his mind was trying to think of every reason you hadn’t responded. You could have lost your phone, or better yet maybe somebody had snatched it from you the very second you had read his message. Or maybe, your phone—or his—glitched and you never got the message at all.

Little did he know you were currently sitting in your economics class, tucked away in the back corner with your phone in your hand as the professor lectured with the projector screen on in the dark room. You were purposely ignoring Taehyung’s message, turning your read receipts on just to torture him further.

He had finally messaged you and unfortunately it was not with a invitation to fuck. It did however paint a smile on your face because you knew he was very affected by you from the message he sent.

All you wanted was for him to be more forward. You knew he had jacked off at school, he had to, so why couldn’t he just go ahead and say that. Spice shit up a little and talk about what he was thinking about when he did it. It’s the little things really.

You clicked back onto his thread in your messages, choosing now to respond to him. Your fingernails lightly clicked on your screen as you typed out a response and snickered before hitting send.

Y/N  11:37am : Oh? okay.

Taehyung felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart stopped, eyes widening to the point where poor Solji was once again concerned about his well being. She was gonna ask him one more time if he was okay but his sudden movement had her flinching back and avoiding eye contact as he shoved his hands into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Oh fuck she responded. He thought to himself as he unlocked his phone to see the notification, he opened the thread and read the message, scrolling up and back down almost as if he was trying to refresh the page for more of the message to load because there was no way in fucking hell that’s all you sent him.

But it was. That much was made very clear after a few minutes passed and you didn’t send anything else.

It was almost like Taehyung’s mind was on autopilot. He had finished his test minutes prior, so he shoved his pencil and extra scantron into his backpack before he stood up and practically stomped his way out of the classroom.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle the mystery that was you. It would be very easy for him to just text back and get to know you but this was the 30 percent, over thinking, over analyzing, not chill Taehyung, and that was just not the way he did things.

Not chill Taehyung decided it was appropriate to bail out on his current class as well as bail out on the plans his friends had all made after classes. He decided it was perfectly fine to hop his merry self onto the bus and head on home. The plan was not very thought out, at all, but as he rode the bus home he just knew he would have to do some lurking to find something about you. 

While he was doing that driving his mind into the gutter, you were leaving your current class, heading out to meet your friends for a late lunch.

You had your phone held in your hand, almost hoping Taehyung would text back with something a little exciting, but he didn’t. That was fine by you though, he was right in assuming he wasn’t the only guy on your radar and although something about him made you want to pounce on him, if he wasn’t going to act on it then you weren’t going to dwell on it.

“Alright girls so what’s the plan for tomorrow night?” Hani spoke up, rubbing her hands together evilly.

“Be a child of god and go to sleep on time because I have a test the following day.” A chorus of boos followed all around, Sunmi even going as far as tossing a crumpled up napkin at Chungha who only rolled her eyes.

“C’mon Chungha. Just come out for a little bit,” you pleaded, grabbing her hands in yours and giving her the saddest puppy eyes you could muster.

“Ahh, no! You always do this Y/N!” she whined, throwing her head back in frustration. “But fine, only for two hours and I can’t get wasted.”

The three of you cheered obnoxiously, knowing very well that she would end up as trashed as all of you were, but that was a problem for tomorrow night. A problem for tonight however just occurred in the form of a notification on your phone.

You stared at it curiously, it was a notification from your blog that you used on occasion so you opened it up and smirked at what you discovered.

Not chill Taehyung had obviously gone home and did his lurking on you. Nowadays it really wasn’t hard to find anything on anyone considering how open people were on their socials so Taehyung was able to find your instagram with ease, especially now that he had your phone number.

He had scrolled through your feed carefully, seeing group photos with your girlfriends at parties, and an abundance of slightly suggestive selfies. There was one thing that was clear, you definitely had confidence in your body and he admired that.

Instagram only showed him a glimpse of your life and it wasn’t enough for him. Considering Taehyung had an account for every social media made, he knew you probably did too. So he took to a generic search, and even a reverse image search because he was so desperate it was pathetic. But it worked, because one certain photo you had uploaded on your instagram of you in a bikini with your face cut off was also uploaded onto a blog online.

At first glance he assumed it was just a generic porn blog that had reposted your photo, but upon further scrolling he noticed all the photos on there were of the same girl. You. 

His first instinct was to exit out of the site and act like he never found it, feeling slightly creepy at what his lurking had uncovered. But the curiosity was eating him alive, so he continued to scroll, seeing simple photos of you in lingerie; never revealing your face or anything else besides your ass and boobs. Along with that were some questions you would answer and with that he gathered that you had quite a bit of fans online.

There was one photo in particular that really caught his attention. The image was a little low quality, showing you with a black heart choker on and a stringy caged bralette that let your boobs pop out, your fingers slicked with something he could only imagine as they pinched your pebbled nipples. The heart outline tattoo on your pinky is what confirmed that it was in fact you in that photo, and that was enough for him to click the heart button on the bottom right to save into his likes for later.

What he didn’t know was that you checked your activity quite often. He also didn’t know that his blog, unlike yours, was not anonymous and had a stupid selfie of him as the icon.

So as he sat in his room and jerked off while thinking about you for the second time that day, you sat in the restaurant and giggled to yourself a little every time he liked a new photo, letting you know exactly what he was up to.

“Are you on that money pile blog of yours again?” Sunmi asked as she chewed on a chunk of butter soaked bread.

“Yes,” you responded simply, taking a sip of your drink and smiling when your friends cheered you on.

“How much have you made with it?” Hani asked curiously, pulling her shirt's neckline out to inspect her boobs. 

You thought about it for a moment; you started that blog to help you pay for school and have some left over for yourself and with luck on your side, it took off pretty quickly. While you did post provocative pictures online, they were all pretty timid in nature, so it was only a matter of time before you started getting messages of people interested in purchasing personal pictures or videos.

There were quite a few older men willing to send you hundreds of dollars for simple photos or videos, but the majority of your buyers were people around your age who chose to purchase access to your private account for a monthly fee. It was always funny to you how some of these people went to your school and either had no idea it was you, or chose to pretend they didn’t know you.

“Enough to pay off my tuition this semester and put some away.”

Chungha nodded to herself, thinking it was impressive. “Get your coin girl.”

The following morning Taehyung hopped onto the bus with a feeling of guilt settling into the pit of his stomach, a nasty churning sensation that had plagued him in his sleep. It made him forgo his usual kimbap breakfast, afraid he’d hurl it up the second he made eye contact with you on this ride and the last thing he needed was another embarrassing moment to add to the list. 

He shouldn’t have touched himself to those photos that you hadn’t sent to him exclusively, and he definitely shouldn’t have saved them in his likes. Sure they were on a public domain, but still, it made him feel wrong.

He slid into his seat of choice and shoved his earbuds in, drowning out the small hum that filled the vehicle. Taehyung was so focused on trying to fry out the memory of your boobs from his mind by blasting music that he hadn’t noticed the bus stop and the sound of chunky platforms making their way up the aisle.

You sat down a few rows closer than normal, analyzing him for a moment; his dark hair was covering his eyes partially, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his grey windbreaker, and his jean clad legs bouncing rapidly made it so clear he was nervous.

Perfect.

A smile graced your lips as you slipped your phone out, opening up the thread you had with Taehyung, with your very uninterested message being the last thing you had sent him. It’s almost as if the tiny devil on his shoulder called his attention, convincing him to peer over, almost jumping in his seat when he realized you were on the bus and a lot closer than before.

When he saw your attention on your phone instead of him for once, he couldn’t help but think that maybe you had lost interest in this little game. Maybe he had taken it a bit too far and knowing he had jacked off at school to the thought of you had turned you off.

That is until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sharp eyes darting up and locking onto his right after, a knowing smirk on your face as you raised your hand and waved your fingers at him.

Y/N 8:09am : Hi bus boy.

Oh god.

Why was he so fucking nervous to talk to you god dammit. His eyes drifted back over to you, seeing you still staring at him, your head tilted in curiosity at why he still hadn’t responded.

With slightly trembling hands he begins to type out a response.

Taehyung 8:11am : Hey bu—

His fingers stop when a new message slides up on the screen.

Y/N 8:11am : Thanks for liking my pictures on my blog.

Y/N 8:11am : Saving them for later?

His stomach drops, mind playing a nice little montage of him scrolling through your blog and pressing that damn heart button as fast as he could. How could he be so stupid in thinking he was being discreet?

Taehyung 8:13am : Fuck im so sorry

He couldn’t look back up, his eyes focused on the three dots indicating your typing. It seemed endless. Were you gonna send him a giant paragraph calling him a pig or some other insult, tell him you had blocked his IP address and would be filing a restraining order on him?

Y/N 8:16am : No, it’s my pleasure.

He stared at the text in mild shock, the kissy face emoji at the end taunting him. Were you fucking with him? It honestly seemed like it considering you had hopped up off your seat and walked off the bus, your hips swaying in the small skirt you wore which only taunted him some more.

Taehyung let out a groan as he rubbed his palms into his face in frustration. What the hell was his deal? He felt like a prepubescent boy who had never spoken to a girl let alone slept with one. Maybe he was losing his edge. Regardless, he was done suffering through this alone so he was going to suck up his pride and seek out the help of his friends.

That was how he found himself once again sitting around the table in the small cafe they all frequented. The six of his friends gave him intent stares at he finished off his story, “And my dumbass didn’t think to maybe not like the pictures for later and she sent me this text the next morning.” He paused to slide his phone into the middle of the table with the message thread lighting up the screen, “And now I don’t know what the hell to do.”

Yoongi pressed his lips together as he shook his head, fingers adjusting the olive green beanie that he had on. “You’re a dumbass.”

Taehyung gave him a shocked expression, the wrinkles in his forehead only deepening when he saw the rest of the guys nodding along in agreement. “What the fuck?”

“What?” Yoongi spoke in a monotone, his eyes playfully narrowing at his friend, taunting him to try to defend himself. 

“How am I a dumbass?”

Jungkook rubbed his hands together momentarily, looking around at the others to see if they were gonna speak up or if he was gonna have to be the one to do it. “Look dude,” he started off when he realized no one was gonna put Tae out of his misery. “You have this girl throwing herself at you, straight up telling you she wants to fuck you, and instead of acting on it you chose to jack off to the thought of her?”

Now that someone had said it outloud Taehyung did feel a bit stupid. 

This was so out of character for him, he was the kind of guy who hit on girls at frat parties and didn’t bother getting more information besides their name before he was taking them upstairs, and now that you were giving him that treatment, he didn’t know what to do.

“Not only are you stupid for not sleeping with her, but who the hell lurks and gets caught? What a rookie mistake!” Hoseok hollers out, causing Jimin and Namjoon to laugh along with him, and Taehyung could only feel his face redden in embarrassment.

Jin had Tae’s phone in his hand, scrolling through the extremely underwhelming messages you two had sent each other when suddenly, it dinged and a new image popped up at the bottom. “Oh wow!”

That caught everyone's attention, all of them leaning over to try to get a glimpse at whatever Jin had seen but he had already locked the phone, the screen turning black and blocking the guys from seeing the teasing picture you had sent Taehyung out of boredom.

“Aw c’mon, what was it?” Jimin whined, staring at the still locked phone that was now in Taehyung’s hands, hands itching to grab the device. 

Taehyung sighed. Did he even want to know?

One glance from Jin told him he sure as hell should, so he dimmed the brightness of his phone before he unlocked it to open up your message. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes made out the image, almost causing him to choke on his spit and make a bigger fool out of himself in front of his friends.

There, sitting all nice and pretty in your thread of messages, was a photo of your thighs spread open, your fingers lifting up the tiny skirt you had on today to reveal a small sliver of the black lace panties you had on. Very suggestive, clearly intent to tease him. 

‘Just for you’, was the only message you had written underneath, no indication that you would send anything else. Taehyung could only stare at the photo in awe, eyes trailing down the smooth skin of your thighs, desperately wanting to zoom in, but he knew his friends would only clown him further. It was pretty timid in nature but still just as sexy.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned out, locking his phone and letting his head fall onto the wooden table like deadweight. No one had any reaction to the rattle of the table, simply stabilizing their drinks as they observed their friend having what appears to be a mental breakdown. 

“What did she send him?” Yoongi whispered to Jin.

“Something mildly NSFW.”

At that, Yoongi reached over and jostled his whole body with force. “Get the fuck up you imbecile. Respond to her!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Tae slurred, cheek smushed against the table and muffling his words.

“Fucking anything is better than the silent treatment dude. Like she just took time out of her day to send you something. You gotta at least tell her she looks hot, or that you like the picture.” Jungkook rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious response, and honestly it was, this was sexting 101. 

“You’re right, I guess.” Taehyung lifted himself back up and unlocked his phone once more, staring at the screen with a distraught expression. “The fuck do I say though?”

Hoseok hummed in thought, tapping his chin as he stared at the lid of his cup. “Depends, what kinda photo was it? Full nude or like a tease?”

“A tease.”

“Oh! Tell her something like, she’s gonna be the death of you, or something along those lines. I’m sure she hears she’s hot all the time, so that's too basic.” Jimin speaks up proudly, his smile widening when Taehyung nods and begins typing out a response with slightly shaky fingers and hits send.

The little sound of the message being sent causes the whole group to let out a sigh of relief, slumping back into their seats and taking sips of their drinks.

“Who knew we’d have to resort to coaching Kim Taehyung on how to sext.” Namjoon snorts, earning a couple of laughs in return, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh too because honestly how ridiculous. 

The conversation flows easily once Jungkook starts talking, everyone momentarily forgetting about Taehyung’s situation, which he was grateful for. The current topic at hand was the party that Jungkook and Hoseok were having in a few days at their new apartment, but his attention was taken away from that when he shockingly received another text from you.

Y/N 7:36pm :Now we can’t have you dying on me.

Y/N 7:36pm : In the mood for some drinks? A couple of friends and I are going out tonight.

Y/N 7:37pm : You should come.

He stared at his phone in thought. Fuck, he wanted to go so bad, but because he had spent all day yesterday jerking off to the thought of you he had procrastinated an assignment that was due tonight. Not chill Taehyung was going to be his downfall. 

Taehyung 7:40pm : I wish I could, I have a deadline at 11

Taehyung 7:40pm : Next time?

On the other side of the screen, you were laying in bed in the same outfit you had on earlier, fingers playing with the hem of your skirt as you read his response, a small smile on your face.

In all honesty you weren’t even expecting him to respond to your photo anyways, so this caught you off guard.

Y/N 7:42pm : I’m holding you to that bus boy.

So as you went out with your friends, throwing back shots and dancing your life away to the song playing at the club you guys loved, Taehyung sat at home typing out a bullshit paper as his phone watched your instagram story from time to time.

By the time he was calling it a night after he turned in his assignment you were still posting videos of your friends dancing and pouring drinks into your mouth straight from the bottle. You clearly knew how to have a good time and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny twinge of regret at not going out when you had invited him to.

That same regret seeps into the following morning, rewatching your stories and imagining how much fun he would have had if he decided to forget his assignments and go out with you. It’s safe to say that he was honestly not expecting you to hop on at your usual stop, mainly because he knew from your posts that you didn’t call it a night until 4am and it was currently 7:20am. So, when he saw you step on the bus, he was slightly shocked.

The regular attire he was used to was missing, normally styled hair now up in a messy bun, a thick pair of shades on, and an oversized flannel barely hanging over your shoulder. It was very obvious that you had just rolled out of bed. 

His reaction time was a little slow, but when he saw you continue down the aisle and getting closer to him, he tensed up and held his breath, not releasing it even as you took it upon yourself to sit down right next to him. The two of you being the only passengers at the back of the bus.

“Hi,” you spoke out, turning to look at him as he tried his best to just face forward. A sweet smile passed between you when he finally turned towards you and gave you a small hello in greeting.

That satisfies you, so you wiggle in your seat to get comfy, your hands pulling out a book from your bag and starting to read it to pass the time. Taehyung visibly relaxes at that, happy that your attention was on the book instead of him because he wasn’t sure if he could make it through a conversation this early without embarrassing himself.

You take note of his relaxed frame, his head resting against the window and one earbud in his ear playing some song you couldn’t quite make out. That was when you decided to make your move, your eyes still trained on your book as you let your right hand trail up onto his thigh, letting it rest there for a moment to gauge his reaction.

His thigh tenses instantly at the sensation. “You can tell me to stop and I will,” you whisper, your hand already retreating. You knew he was attracted to you but you weren’t gonna do something to him if he was uncomfortable.

Taehyung sits there for a moment, having an internal debate, because fuck does he want you to touch him, but he’s also on public transportation and he’s not sure what the fine is for public indecency. The inner debate is splayed on his features, but in the end the pros outweigh the cons, so he reaches out and grabs your hand, placing it higher up on his thigh.

“No, keep going.”

It was genuine curiosity to see how far you would actually go, and when you told him to put his backpack over his thighs he knew you were being serious. He listened to your instructions and waited with baited breath as he felt your fingertips trail around his crotch, ghost touches sending a small shiver down his spine.

His dick was already twitching in his pants and you had barely even touched him. Your fingers tugged on the string of his black track suits and slipped behind the waistband of them, trailing down his skin and feeling his stomach twitch at the contact. You settled with palming him over his boxers, hearing Taehyung let out a small grunt at the feeling, his dick slowly hardening under your touch.

He was very responsive to your touch, thighs tensing up as he tried to fight back the urge to buck his hips for more friction and it fueled your excitement. 

Considering this was a risky move, you decided to stop torturing him with teasing touches and finally slid your hand past the material of his boxers, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his thick cock.

Taehyung could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he dropped his head forward with a choked gasp, resting his forehead on the seat in front of him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to disguise his facial expressions if anyone were to look back.

Every jerk of your hand made his breath hitch. Your hands felt like magic, pulling up to twist around the swollen head and gathering his precum before coming back down. God, he wanted to rip his pants down so he wouldn’t feel so confined.

In the perfect display of nonchalance, you still had the book in your left hand, eyes cast down on the page as if your right hand wasn’t focused on his sensitive tip with determination to make him break down. On occasion, you would glance over and smile to yourself at his facial expression, seeing how his eyes were screwed shut as his forehead rested on the seat, alternating between chewing on his bottom lip or just licking his lips and leaving his mouth open as he tried to suppress the moans he wanted to let out. 

“Fuck.” The first crack to his exterior had him finally mumbling out as you picked up the pace, his eyes opening up and looking over at you for a moment, needing to solidify that he wasn’t imagining this. There would be nothing worse than coming face to face with his bed sheets as he awoke from a dream instead of you actually getting him off. 

But there you were, looking so at peace, staring at him with an innocent smile like you weren’t about to make him cum in his pants embarrassingly quick. “You close?”

He let out a small whine as he nodded, finally losing the final bit of self control and bucking his hips to meet your hand, hearing the small thump of your palm against his skin. “Cum for me. I wanna feel you make a mess.”

With eyes sparkling with mischief, you tightened your grip on him as you sped up, your bottom lip being chewed on by your teeth while you watched him come undone. His eyebrows were furrowed, a small frown on his face as he opened his mouth in a silent moan, something you desperately wished you could hear. Harsh pants of breath fanned across the back of the seat as he groaned, fingers gripping the material of his backpack to stop himself from digging his nails into his palm as he neared his release. With a few more pumps, his whole body tensed up as he finally came, stomach twitching while you milked his orgasm.

Taehyung vision blanks for a moment while aftershocks filled his body, dots of light flickering across his eyes until it all came back, and as he realized you were staring at him in awe he could have sworn he was gonna cum again. Your hand was still slowly pumping him, feeling his dick twitch at the overstimulation but he couldn’t get himself to tell you to stop, enjoying the small ache of sensitivity too much. 

It wasn’t until he started to softly grunt at the pleasure that turned painful that you pulled your hand out of his pants, content smile spread across your lips. Taehyung sat there limp, his body feeling like absolute jello, thighs still shaking from his climax. He can already imagine how unsteady his legs will be once it's time to get off the bus. 

You stared at your hand, eyeing the small milky beads of cum on your fingers and you didn’t think twice before popping them in your mouth and sucking on them as you stared right at him. “That was fun. Thanks bus boy.”

He watched in a daze as you stuffed the book back into your bag and got up from your seat, giving him a wide smile while you walked up to the front of the bus. It was only then that he realized both of you had arrived at your college, the boring commute speeding by thanks to your antics. With a spared glance at the displeased bus driver, Taehyung shot up from his seat, cringing at his still sensitive dick and the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his pants.

You were absolutely going to be the death of him

Taehyung was weak, bottom-of-the-food-chain, top tier simp material for you. All it took was one handjob for him to be stuck on you, constantly waiting for any form of interaction you would give him. It was pure infatuation—and a little pathetic—but he wasn’t sure how he felt about you. It was like his brain was torn between trying to get to know you in a more personal way, or just going with the flow and fucking you like you had originally offered. It just made him feel more confused, and a little naive, because it was so clear that you had no romantic feelings for him.

This experience had filled Taehyung with a small sense of guilt, he now knew how the girls he treated this way felt. The constant stringing along and nonchalant carefree aura he would have when he would hook up with girls who clearly wanted more, it was fucking frustrating being on the receiving end and even more frustrating because he knew if he really wanted it to stop all he had to do was ask.

But Taehyung couldn’t get himself to ask you to stop. You had a grasp on him, and you did it so easily, which is why when he didn’t see you on the bus the following day he felt his heart drop a little. 

Sure, he hadn’t noticed you prior but considering it had been a few weeks of constant contact in one form or another, he just found it a little odd now. His hand was twitching with the urge to send you a text and ask if you were feeling okay but he stopped himself in fear of sounding like a clingy mess. 

“Any progress on the mystery babe?” Jungkook asked as they waited in line at the fast food joint near school. 

Taehyung smirked a little at that, memories of yesterday's random handjob coming back to mind. “Sort of.”

Jungkook scoffed, “Sort of? Dude c’mon, just shoot her a text and tell her you wanna hang out, or be blunt and ask her to fuck.”

In retrospect that would be the typical route Taehyung would take, but there was something about you being so in control of this dynamic that had him so unsure of himself. “Look man, she’s different.”

“Oh no—“ And immediately Taehyung knew how that had come out. “Do not say you like her. You barely know her.”

He raised his hands in front of him, “No! Not like that Kook! I just mean that I don’t know how to act.” He let out a sigh, feeling annoyed with himself with this entire situation. “I hope I don’t sound like a total douchebag saying this, but I’m used to girls who let me take charge in situations you know?”

Jungkook nodded, staring at his friend as he spoke, “Girls that basically follow me around and let me decide if I wanna keep them around—and I hate how I sound speaking like that—but it’s the only way I can explain it.” He let out another defeated sigh, definitely something that had become a common form of expression for him. “She doesn’t do that shit, and I don’t know how to act like myself because of it.”

The younger man nodded again, knowing exactly what he meant. “I knew a girl like that, honestly the best two months of my life. Look dude, if she's making it clear that she doesn’t want anything serious then what's the dilemma? She’s confident in herself and you shouldn’t feel intimidated by that.”

Taehyung hummed at that, he was right as Jungkook continued, “And who knows, maybe she’ll help you realize that chains and whips excite you.”

And there was typical Jeon Jungkook. “I fucking hate you.”

Jungkook let out a cackle before turning his attention to the poor cashier who unfortunately had to hear the end of his statement. As he ordered for himself and Taehyung, the latter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was half expecting it to be a message from Hoseok asking him some dumb question, so when he saw your name on his screen he thought he was hallucinating. 

Y/N 12:17pm : Hope you didn’t miss me too much today

Y/N 12:17pm : Come to this

Y/N 12:17pm : You promised me next time bus boy

Attached to the messages was a photo of a party flyer he was very familiar with. It was the silly flyer Jungkook had spent around 5 minutes making to promote their party tomorrow night, and the fact that you had come across it either meant it really got around or you had a mutual friend. 

He looked up momentarily as Jungkook tapped him, motioning for him to follow to an empty table as they waited for the food. Taehyung blindly walked behind him, eyes downcast on his screen as he typed a response. 

Taehyung 12:19pm : I’ll be there

Your response was instant and it caught him off guard because you usually lagged on messages. 

Y/N 12:19pm : I’ll be waiting

But it seemed like Taehyung would be the one waiting. He was standing at the corner of the living room with a drink in his hand and his phone in the other, waiting for you to text him as his eyes scanned the current room. 

Jungkook stood beside him, animatedly talking to a cute girl who had grabbed his interest, too busy to notice his friend eyeing the room like a hawk. Taehyung wanted to wander off and find someone for himself, but the idea that you would eventually be here kept him glued to one spot. 

It was nearing midnight and people were already making messes of themselves, passed out on the couch and some even on the front lawn. Jungkook and Hoseok’s new place was more spacious than their last, but it was definitely overcrowding so people were coming in and out frequently from the front to the backyard to get some fresh air.

“I'm gonna go get another drink.” He told Jungkook, who waved him off and continued his conversation while Taehyung made his way to the kitchen. 

He used the same cup he had in his hand and filled it up with vodka and cranberry juice, his favorite drink of choice right next to drinking it straight. Then suddenly, it was like a magnet forced him to look up and over his shoulder, and that's when he spotted you and your group of friends. 

You all walked in with big smiles on your faces, one of your friends walking over to Hoseok and giving him a hug, and that's who he assumed the mutual friend was. Your hair was flipped over your shoulder as you played with it with your hands, small crop top showing just enough cleavage and your stomach, and Taehyung could just feel himself staring. 

That's when your eyes met his, and they glinted with something he couldn’t pinpoint. Your target had been acquired, and as he saw you making your way over to him he choked a bit on his drink. 

“Bus boy.” Was all you told him, a smile on your face as you easily slipped beside him against the counter, elbows resting casually on the cool surface as you leaned back.

“Hey...bus girl.” he awkwardly responded, feeling like an idiot immediately after. You only giggled, your fingers wrapping around his own on the cup as you brought it from its place against Tae’s mouth over to your own for a sip. 

“Mm, vodka cranberry?” You licked your lips, and his eyes were glued on them. “How’d you know that's my drink of choice?”

“Lucky guess?” He slowly responded back, gently taking the cup back from your grasp when you handed it over, his eyes glancing at the sticky residue your gloss left on the rim of the cup.

You were analyzing him, watching him standing there with an aura of unsureness around him. You see, you knew of Taehyung, had a couple of friends who had hooked up with him, and this is not what they described him as. They always told you he was assertive, the first to make a move and once he had he was aggressive in bed in the best way. That’s why he had caught your attention, you wanted to see how hard it would be to crack him, break him down until he was begging and pleading since he was so used to taking charge. The possibility of having him on his knees, holding on to your every word, made this sick sense of pleasure creep up your spine.

Taehyung was handsome, that wasn’t up for debate, but you could see him biting his lips almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to you but was afraid they wouldn’t come out right. Cracking him might be easier than you thought.

“Did I miss all the fun?” The question hung in the air for a moment as flashes from the night played through his head. Jungkook kicking out some dude for trying to piss in the kitchen sink, Hoseok doing a line of who knows what off some girls boobs and her boyfriend trying to fight him, among a plethora of incidents in the span of a few hours. 

“No, definitely not. The night is still young.”

You only stared at him, waiting for his eyes to finally look at yours instead of pretending like he didn't notice you. And finally, they did, narrowing a bit in suspicion as he wondered what you were thinking in your head. 

“So,” you began, confidently grabbing his drink again. “Have you taken my offer into consideration?”

He was so focused seeing your tongue lick your lips to catch the remaining moisture of the drink that he almost didn't hear your question. “I’m sorry, what offer?”

A small laugh left your lips at his question. “You really forgot already?” You only gave him a moment of silence before you continued, “The offer that involves you fucking me, or are you turning it down?”

Taehyung froze, taking in your facial expression before answering. Your mouth held the same sinfully evil smirk it always had, head tilted slightly as you handed his drink back to him and shot him a wink before you sauntered off towards your friends who had watched the entire exchange go down.

They instantly tugged your wrist and yanked you towards the sliding doors that lead to the backyard where a game of beer pong was going down. Chungha was all giggles, not being able to believe the new person of interest in your eyes was Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung on the other hand just let his eyes follow your body until the sliding door was shut once more. He had taken too long to respond to your question, his mind had been shouting at him to just blurt out that yes, he had taken your offer into consideration and he one hundred percent wanted to fuck you. Too bad his mouth decided to sew itself shut. 

He took another swig of his drink, swallowing harshly with a bit of determination set on his mind. By the end of the night he had to make a move on you, that much was for sure. He was tired of you always having the upper hand with every interaction you had. This party was his element for fucks sake, he was a seasoned pro when it came to sleeping with random girls at house parties. The only difference this time was that none of them had come on to him as boldly as you had, but that wasn’t a problem at all.

Jungkook slapped a palm on his shoulder, making his drink slosh in the cup and catching him by surprise. When Tae looked away from the sliding door and over to his left, he could see Jungkook was also looking in the same direction with a knowing smile on his face. “Oh man, she’s trouble.”

Tae’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Wait, who?”

“Y/N, man. Who else?” He released his grip on the older one's shoulder, taking a sip of the beer in his other hand while he nodded his head in thought.

Taehyung was clearly out of the loop here, “How do you know her?” He mentally sorted through the girls he had seen Jungkook with in the past, even trying hard to remember any girls he had mentioned in passing and you had never come up.

Jungkook took another drink of his beer, wondering how to go about this carefully. He could be honest with Tae and tell him he had met you last semester at a club that was popular with the students at the university. How you had been the absolute best sex of his life for two steady months, and then suddenly dropped him without a care in the world—which would have absolutely crushed Jungkook if he let himself get attached but he hadn’t, he swore he hadn’t. He was kinda shocked and very amused that you had chosen his best friend as your new target, even if it was purely coincidental.

In the end, he decided being honest wasn’t necessary. “It’s not important, just know she’s pure trouble in the best way. Is she the bus girl you always talk about?”

That answer didn’t satisfy Tae but he was too busy thinking about how to make a move on you to dive deeper. “Yeah, she is.”

Jungkook nodded, hearing Jimin calling him from somewhere in the house with a very slurred voice. “Well, I hope you’re planning on making a move on her tonight or I’ll let all the guys know what a pussy you are.” He jostled Tae’s shoulders once more with a hearty laugh before running off towards Jimin who was surely drunk as fuck.

Outside of the house stood you and your friends, surrounding the beer pong game going on between Yoongi and Seulgi. Your eyes were peering behind you, staring through the glass doors as you watched Jungkook speaking to Taehyung for a brief moment. You smiled to yourself, knowing the small mess you might be causing between friends but not caring enough to stop it.

“This winning shot is for you gorgeous!” Yoongi shouted out, blowing a sloppy kiss out towards Sunmi before tossing the ping pong ball haphazardly towards the last remaining cup and somehow making it in. 

“That winning shot made me lose!” Sunmi erupted in laughter while everyone cheered at the end of the game. Seulgi rolled her eyes with a playful smile before chugging the last cup and walking back to your group.

“I don’t know how that fucker beat me considering his blood alcohol content should have his ass in a coma.” 

You laughed, throwing your arm over her shoulder and tugging her closer to you. “It’s because Sunmi told him that she’d give him her number if he got the winning cup. I guess desperation makes boys a little more sober.”

“Pigs.” She grumbled with a laugh, watching as Sunmi and Yoongi exchanged information, both of them looking like flustered children with blushing cheeks. “Anyways, are you gonna torture that poor boy inside all night?”

“Hm,” you hummed to yourself. “Is it really torture if I gave him a way in?”

“Oh please Y/N, has any boy ever taken to your advances that quickly? You’re intimidating as fuck, in the sexiest way possible. He’s probably not used to girls telling him shit like that so he doesn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, but Yuna told me he was blunt as fuck with her when they slept together.” Your eyes peered back inside, no longer being able to see Taehyung.

“Yuna? Kang Yuna?” You nodded, looking up at Seulgi and seeing a look of disbelief on her face, “Dude, she’s the most timid, shy, submissive girl I’ve ever met. Guys eat that shit up. That’s what guys like Taehyung are used to. You spicing it up has him second guessing everything, so I say you keep it up. Be two steps ahead of him.”

You knew she was right, even though this was an exciting game of cat and mouse for you, you'd be lying if you said you weren’t slightly interested in him for more than just a one night stand. 

“You gonna play?” Chunga popped in beside you, a grin on her face as she held a white ping pong ball in her hands. You smiled back and gave her a nod, letting her tug you towards the table being set up.

Yoongi stood wobbling on the other side, claiming to want to hold on to his winning title but the boy was clearly close to passing out from the amount of alcohol in his system. That was when another boy stood beside him, his frame towering over Yoongi’s and a charming smile on his plump lips as he tried to coax Yoongi into going inside to drink some water.

Chungha hummed in approval as she took his appearance in. “Wow he’s...”

“Yummy?”

She snorted out, “Oh yeah, definitely yummy.”

Yoongi was bickering with said yummy boy until Sunmi approached him again and put on her best flirtatious look to get him to follow her inside the house. He was done for after that, handing his friend the ball in his hand with a lazy wave, his half lidded eyes trailing down Sunmi’s body as she dragged him behind her. He probably thought he would be getting laid tonight but Sunmi was in mom mode, so unless he was ready to down a gallon of water and sober up, the only thing he would be doing is going straight to sleep.

“Hey, yummy guy, are you playing or not?”

He looked startled by the nickname, his hand coming up to point at his chest in confusion. When you and Chungha gave him a look that said yeah you his mouth opened up slightly before he was smiling again. “Yummy? Wow, can’t say I’m opposed to being called that.” He started to laugh at that and Chungha sighed at the sound, yup she was a sucker. 

“I don’t have a partner to play against you two.”

You stepped back from the table with a shrug. “Don’t mind me, he’s all yours Chungha.”

They instantly started chatting with each other, playful threats and possible bets being made for whoever lost this game, but you weren’t planning on staying to watch this go down. The friends you had left on the sidelines watched you saunter away and they knew exactly where you were headed.

You wandered inside the crowded home and let your eyes scan the room, the kitchen was immediately to the left of you, a group of boys huddled around the alcohol as they made drinks, but no sign of Taehyung. Grabbing the lone vodka bottle from the counter, you took a quick swig before you resumed your hunt, ignoring the nasty burn to your throat. 

A few more steps inside towards the living room didn’t reveal him either, too many bodies moving together to some random beat playing through the speakers placed around. There was a hallway to the left and another to the right, you chose to go towards the right side, side stepping random cups left on the floor. 

A few voices were at the end of the hall, coming out of the only open door so you continued near them, desperate to see a familiar face until you came to a stop in front of the bathroom. You rested your shoulder against the door frame, seeing Jungkook leaning over his friend’s hunched form as he clung to the toilet bowl. Although this was a familiar face, he was not the one you were searching for. 

As if sensing your presence, he looked up and over at you, a gentle smile gracing his face when he saw it was you. “You got the invite I see.”

You smiled back at him. “I did. So did the rest of my friends, you know, from Hoseok.” The drunken friend on the floor dry heaved for a moment, making Jungkook look back down at them and pat their back. 

“He’s probably on the front lawn smoking by the way.” He spoke again, not needing you to explain who you were looking for, and you were grateful because you weren’t in the mood to play dumb. 

You pushed off the door frame and stepped back, hearing him shout out a sarcastic ‘I know you miss me’ as you walked away. “Save it Jeon!” You playfully shouted back. You knew he missed you, he had told you plenty of times ever since you decided to stop sleeping with him. 

Of course Jeon Jungkook had been a good fuck, having been one of your favorite switches. Very true to his reputation, he could fuck you all night long with no issues, bringing you to orgasm enough times until you were crying for him to stop, while also letting you tie him up until he was the one begging—but he’d gotten attached. 

He could deny it all he wanted, but you sensed the change instantly. It creeped up in moments where he’d ask you to spend the night instead of leaving after hooking up, seeping into him asking you to hang out in day to day life instead of just 3am booty calls. And that just wasn’t something you were interested in having at the time. It wasn’t a jab at Jungkook, he was a nice guy if you were being honest, but that was old news. 

So as the music blasted in the house, sounding muffled to your ears, you walked with a purpose, weaving in between people as you crossed the living room and reached the front door. 

The fresh air met you the second you pushed the door open, loud bass spilling out of the house and into the front lawn, dimly lit up by the porch light. It allowed you to instantly spot Taehyung, a barely lit blunt between his fingers as he spoke to a taller boy beside him. At the sound of the door opening they both looked over in your direction, the taller one offering you a smile while Taehyung took a drag and gave you a nervous wave. 

You weren’t going to bother talking to him out here, he turned into a deer caught in headlights whenever you did so you just walked over to him, plucked the blunt from between his fingers and handed it to his friend before wrapping your hand around his wrist and dragging him behind you. The two of you needed to be alone, not around drunk party goers, or both of your nosey friends. 

Taehyung didn’t resist at all, looking over at Namjoon and seeing his friend had a shit eating grin on his face as he got dragged inside. You clearly had a mission, shoving your way through the sea of bodies again as you trekked to the opposite hallway this time, going for the only room on this side of the house. 

The bedroom door got thrown open and thankfully no one was inside of it. Taehyung slammed the door shut behind him and locked it as you turned to face him, inches separating you and you let out a soft breath at the close proximity. “Do you want this?”

His mind fogged over briefly as he watched your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it up to reveal more skin. “Yes, I do.” 

Those were the words to set it all in motion, hands yanking your shift off your body and tossing it aside, leaving you standing in your bra for him to ogle at. 

“Better than the photos huh?” you tease with a honey-sweet voice, reminding him of his deep dive onto your blog while your hands slid behind your back to unhook your bra and let it completely slide off. 

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare as your hands came up to give your boobs a squeeze. “Fuck.”

He stepped forward, wanting to finally touch you but you tsk in disapproval, shaking your finger at him and it just made him pout. Isn’t that what you wanted from him?

His breath hitched in his throat when you stepped even closer, tips of your fingers trailing from his shoulders to his chest, down to the hem, bunching the fabric in your grasp as you tugged it up and off of him. His arms raised up with no protest as you undressed him, wide eyes just watching your every move, ready to do whatever you asked of him. It was so out of character for him, but that much could be said about every interaction he’s had with you so he goes with the flow of it all. 

Goosebumps rose up on his tan skin as you trailed your hands down to play with the button on his jeans, fiddling with it to tease him. You wanted to cover his chest and stomach in hickeys, marking every inch of him up, bruising and teasing him until he was pleading for you to suck his cock. There was just something about him that made you want to see him flushed and desperate. 

He could see you lost in thought as you stared at his body, now hyper aware of the fact that he wasn’t absolutely ripped, but you liked that. His arms came up again in an attempt to pull you in to kiss you, but you stopped him once more, finally snapping out of your daze.

“Do you deserve to touch me?” His mind blanked at your tone, the slight edge he had heard the first time you spoke was back, and something about it made his body tingle. “Hm?” you hummed when he remained quiet.

That glint in your eye returned and his head shook without him realizing, no he didn’t deserve to touch you.

“Take it all off and lay on the bed,” you spoke sternly, the smirk on your face growing when he did as you said. His body hunched over and stumbled as he stripped out of his pants and boxers, his shoes and socks long gone beside them. Taehyung followed instructions and laid on the bed, feeling a little guilty that poor Hoseok’s bed would be defiled like this, but when you slid off your own pants and underwear he couldn’t find himself to care anymore. 

His cock was already hard and twitching as it laid against his stomach, and he could feel the small pool of precum gathering under his belly button, leaving a sticky mess on his skin. You hadn’t even touched him and he was this riled up already, terrified he would cum the second you decided to touch him, so his hand came to grasp the base of his cock and gave it a firm squeeze.

That action wasn’t lost on you as you slowly approached him, your knees resting on the mattress while you shuffled towards his body. Your fingertips trailed up his thighs softly, going around his cock and up his chest where your nails lightly grazed his nipple. His body shuddered at the touch, and the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the reaction made him nervous.

You swung your leg over his waist, hovering above his skin but not making contact just yet. Taehyung had never been patient, his eagerness getting the best of him, and just as his hands rose up—about to touch your hips and force you to plop down on his cock—your own hands reacted, grasping his before he could touch you and bringing them above his head, successfully catching him off guard. 

“You said you don’t deserve to touch me.”

His eyes widened in realization, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to take back the words that he said earlier. Fuck, he wanted to touch you, he could see your pussy hovering inches over his cock, and he bet he could slide right into you from how wet you looked, already picturing the feeling of your warmth as he sunk into you. 

Your hands grasped both of his wrists, leaving his arms pinned above his head as your other hand reached down, and he held his breath. There was a brief moment where he thought you’d show him mercy, hoping you were going to grab his dick from between your bodies, but when he saw your index and middle fingers part your lower lips he let a groan escape him. You trailed them up your slit and back down to circle around your entrance with a quiet hum, bringing your fingers back up in front of Taehyung’s eyes, watching him stare at them in awe as you separated them and your slick strung across from them.

“It’s a shame.” Your eyes trailed up to his hands again, seeing them clenched together in your grasp. “I’d love to have your hands inside me, but maybe next time.”

“No,” he croaked out, hips desperately lifting up in hopes of grinding into your pussy but he fell short. “Please, let me touch you.”

The begging satisfied the sick itch you were hoping to scratch, leaving you grinning above him. You had just started, yet his eyebrows were already furrowed, eyes locked in a trance on your fingers that were still in front of his face. 

“Not today, baby. Do you want a taste though?” He was nodding the second the proposal left your mouth. Taehyung licked his lips in desperation, mouth opening up as you brought them towards his lips, his neck craning forward and wrapping his lips around your fingers to taste the remnants of your arousal. His tongue flicked between your fingers as he sucked like his life depended on it, the urgency displayed had more wetness gushing out of you, and when Taehyung’s eyes darted towards his abdomen, he saw that some of it had dripped onto the skin below where you hovered.

You pulled your fingers out of his mouth and brought them back between your legs to tease yourself further. “Fuck, this could’ve been you doing this to me Taehyung.” You gasped out as your fingers flicked over your clit repeatedly and he whimpered, head falling back to rest on the pillows because he couldn’t take watching you get yourself off above him while his dick lay hard and leaking right below you.

You snickered to yourself, finally deciding to take some pity on the man, reaching below you to grasp his cock. His neck tensed up at the action, head whipping back up to make sure he wasn’t imaging anything. But there you were, small hands barely wrapping around his thick cock as you gave it a gentle tug. Your fingers were covered in your slick, making the glide feel delicious, spreading your arousal around his length and mixing with his own in a sinful combination. 

Taehyung’s chest heaved slightly as you picked up your pace, your fingers coming up to play with his pink tip before going back down quickly, hands set to tease him. He was trying to stop himself from moaning, you already had his arms restrained, he didn't want to give you this much power over him, but when your hands came down to fondle his balls he couldn’t hold back the needy whine that left him. The desperation behind him just made your pussy clench, and you really wish he could fuck you, but you weren’t going to let him get his way this easily, not when he hadn’t worked for it.

“Keep your hands there.” You spoke firmly as you released your grasp on them, smirking at his obedience when his fingers chose to wrap around the poles of the headboard behind him instead. He wasn’t sure what you were going to do, but he was hoping your next move would be sinking onto his cock. 

“Wait,” he spoke up as you placed both your hands on his chest. “I don’t have a condom,” he admitted, face scrunching up when he saw you freeze in your action of dropping down on top of him.

“Oh,” you cooed, left hand coming up to cup his cheek tenderly. “Don’t worry about that.” His heart was torn because although he loved going without a condom, he didn’t know you enough to trust continuing without one. “You’re not fucking me.”

And now his heart was shredded, thrown into a dumpster, and set on fire. “What?”

Your fingers traced his cheek softly as you smiled at him. “Only good boys get to fuck me and you—“ you patted his skin in a gentle, yet firm, slap. “—haven’t been good.” 

A pout forms on his lips because now he’s desperate, and also confused. Why would you strip out of all your clothes just to tease him like this? Were you going to finish yourself off on top of him and just leave? He wasn’t entirely against that scenario because he’s sure it would be hot as fuck, but his dick was literally throbbing.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you had shuffled down a bit and rested your dripping pussy right on top of his cock, your lips parting slightly as you rocked your hips forward. And then he was gasping, his hands detaching from the headboard and instinctively wanting to grab your hips, but they stopped an inch or so away, catching his own mistake. His fingers remained trembling in the air, a moan finally leaving his lips at the feeling of you grinding on his cock, the relief of you not leaving him high and dry taking over.

Keeping your palms on his chest, you used them as leverage to help you move, a wicked smile on your face when you saw the internal debate he was having. He could touch you if he really wanted to, he could say fuck your rules and grip your hips so hard they’d bruise, but he didn’t. He listened to you, his shaking hands retreating back to the headboard with a groan of restraint.

“Good boy,” you spoke softly, his cock twitching at the praise. He liked this, the foreign feeling of being pliant underneath you, letting you call all of the shots, it was igniting a warmth inside of him that he never expected. 

Taehyung could feel his stomach becoming a sticky mess from his precum and your wetness dripping down from his cock, but he didn’t care, he loved when it was messy, loved hearing the squelching sound filling the room every time you rocked your hips. The fact that you were this drenched from teasing him just turned him on more, and he really wanted to say fuck it and ask you to sink onto his cock, but you told him to be a good boy so that’s what he would do.

“Feel good?”

“S-so good,” he whined out, breathy and strained, almost as if he didn’t want to admit to it. 

His thighs were tense and aching, forcing himself to not thrust forward in fear that you’d stop what you were doing, small moans leaving his lips when the tip of his cock would brush against your clit. He looked fucked out underneath you, eyes blown open as he locked onto the spot between you two, watching his messy cock peek out between your legs when you’d grind your hips back.

Taehyung had never cum from doing this, it was something he had never tried before; he was used to the quickness of fucking at parties, some fingering being involved before he slid in from behind. But he could feel himself edging closer to his release embarrassingly fast, the sinful moans leaving your mouth only aiding in pushing him over faster.

You had a good rhythm going, his cock trapped between his stomach and your pussy, and even though he was trying his best not to be vocal, you could see he was close to falling apart. His hands were clenching the headboard so hard they were paling, and if that wasn’t enough of an indication his face surely said it all. 

Leaning over his body, you let your face inch closer to his as you sped up your hips. At your proximity Taehyung finally spoke up, “Can I-fuc—” he shuddered, “—can I please kiss you?”

Your eyebrow cocked up at his request, not expecting that to be what he wanted from you. “You want to kiss me?”

Taehyung's dark hair bounced on his head as he nodded frantically. “Yes,” he gasped out, squirming underneath you as you bucked harder on top of him.

He wanted to kiss you, your lips looked so soft and shiny, and he wanted to feel them on top of his. Honestly what he really wanted was to flip you over and fuck you senseless—he had the power to—the weight of you on him was nothing he couldn’t overpower, but something about you being in control of his pleasure was doing things to him.

When your hair grazed his chest from you dropping down, his heart skipped but your lips chose to kiss his neck instead, small traces and licks on his skin as you trailed up towards his jaw until finally you reached his lips. They were tacky from your lip gloss but he didn’t care, they felt as soft as he imagined, and when you snuck your tongue into the mix Taehyung whimpered into your mouth. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, pleasure rolling over him in waves that only intensified when you wrapped your lips around his tongue and sucked. 

You could feel his body tensing up from underneath you, his climax creeping up on him, so you rocked faster, sinking your teeth into his plump bottom lip and tugging back. That was the final push before he was cumming, face screwed up the same way it was on the bus and a rough groan that you swallowed with another kiss.

Fuck, he was beautiful.

Another moan spilled out as you continued your movements, feeling his cum splashing up towards his chest from the force, some of it dribbling down his cock and settling onto your pussy. “Wow,” you mused, lips pulling back from his and looking down to see the mess he had made, his breathing continuing to shudder until you came to a stop.

Taehyung kept his grip on the headboard, a lot more limp than before, vision hazy from his orgasm and entire body tingling. You lifted up from him and shuffled further down, licking the trail of cum on his stomach with a grin when you noticed how his sensitive cock twitched at the visual. 

Trying to save face, he turned his head into his upper arm to shield himself, the small burn of embarrassment felt at the fact that he had just blown his load from you grinding on him in record time.

You weren’t finished with him yet though, your body still slowly sliding down him, fingers leaving feather-like touches on his skin that he mistook as you soothing his shuddering body, until they grasped his cock.

“Oh,” he winced, feeling your fingers grazing his sensitive dick, your mouth quickly enveloping it, making his back arch from the sudden sensation. It was no secret that Taehyung had a love for overstimulation, constantly toeing the line between pain and pleasure when he continued to jack off after cumming, but your warm mouth was new.

His sore fingers released the headboard, elbows straightening up because he had to watch this, had to burn this point of view into his mind forever. You were crouched at the bottom of the bed on your knees, ass up in the air as you swallowed his cock, your tongue swirling around it when you felt it start to harden again.

“H-hurts,” he admitted with his hips twitching, not sure if he wanted to thrust into your mouth or back away. Your hands rested on his hips to stop them from moving as his dick slipped out of your mouth with a pop.

“You want me to stop?” One hand was lazily jerking him as you spoke, his dick twitching in your grasp once more. 

No, no he was loving this. The pleasure was sharp but it was spreading a warmth throughout his body. Could he cum again?

He was clearly having a hard time deciding if he wanted you to stop or not, the wrinkles on his forehead deepening as he moaned softly, but Taehyung liked the pain, you could tell.

When your mouth took him in again he gasped lewdly, his elbows giving out and letting him flop back on the bed with a thump, fingers gripping the crumpled sheets beneath him. “No, no,” he whimpered again when you hollowed your cheeks and sucked. “Don’t stop, god.”

He could feel you smirking around his cock, your tongue coming out to flick the tip of his dick, red and swollen and once again dripping. One of your hands wrapped around the part you couldn’t reach, squeezing and tugging in time with your mouth; the other was dipped between your own thighs, fingers sinking into your cunt and thrusting them to match your motions.

Taehyung had his hands gripping onto the bed sheets to stop them from tangling into your hair and forcing you to take all of him, but his head peeked up, and when he saw you playing with yourself he sat back up, hips finally coming up to thrust into your mouth. Whimpers of pain and pleasure filled the room, the muscles in his neck pulled taut as he felt pressure start to bloom in his lower stomach. 

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle having another orgasm, every time he’d hit the back of your throat he felt the wind get knocked out of him, knees acting on reflex and shooting up to try to squirm away from your grasp.

The want to scold him was strong but you were getting closer to cumming, and seeing him losing control only made you moan around his cock. You pulled your fingers out of yourself, and with a few more flicks on your clit you were cumming. Taehyung watched in awe as your hips stuttered, and the moan you let out just urged him to keep thrusting into your mouth. 

His fingers were sore from the grip he had on the sheets and when he saw the drool leaking out of your mouth as you sunk all the way down, he finally felt the band snap, a throaty moan leaving his lips as he bowed his back into the mattress, the pain and pleasure blending together beautifully and bringing him to one of the best orgasms of his life. This load was a lot smaller than the last, but he was completely spent now, body lying limp on the bed as he tried to catch his breath.

Swallowing the cum on your tongue with a smirk, you took him in your mouth once more to tease, pulling back and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his soft cock. 

“Such a good boy.” You teased as you made your way back up to him with a genuine smile on your face. Your soft lips pressed against his again, mouth opening up and he could taste himself on your tongue but he didn’t mind it. With a little hesitance, his hand came up to finally touch you, fingers tangling into your hair as he deepened the kiss, your teeth clashing together a few times because he couldn’t get enough. 

He watched as you pulled back from him, your tongue tracing your lips while you flipped your hair behind you again. “You know, you’re pretty when you cum.” And he doesn’t know why, but the statement made him blush. No one had ever told him he looked pretty when he came.

“Thank you?”

You giggled, still on top of him. “You’re welcome. I’ll be thinking of it when I touch myself later.” You gave him another quick peck before you got off of him and started putting your clothes back on. Taehyung was in a state of shock as he observed you, he had cum twice and still hadn’t fucked you, and you were very clearly getting a kick out of it. 

A final adjustment was done to your skirt before running your fingers through your hair, looking back at him still limp on his friend's bed, limbs resembling jello. It was cute, but you knew you had to trail him along further so you shot him a wink, opening up the bedroom door and waltzing out like you hadn’t just ruined him.

The haze that surrounded him whenever you were around him faded as you left and Taehyung sprung into action with a yelp, wrapping Hoseok's comforter around his naked body when he saw that you left the door open. Luckily no one was around, but he still rushed up with the sheets to close the door, legs feeling a little wobbly. With the door securely locked, he rested his weight against it, letting Hoseok’s ruined sheets fall from his body into a heap on the floor, his hand coming up to run through his messy hair.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he groaned in disbelief, balling up the sheets and stuffing them into the small hamper by the closet, they barely fit but it didn’t matter. Taehyung felt lost and a little unsatisfied, he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel completely satisfied until he actually fucked you. All he had to do was say it, you were dangling it right in front of him and he was too tongue tied to tell you how he actually felt. It was like all vocabulary and sense of communication was wiped clean whenever you were within a certain radius of him.

He slid back into his clothes, grabbing the tissues Hoseok conveniently had next to his bed, and wiped the small residue that was still on his stomach before he put his shirt back on. When his heart stopped pounding and he thought he was decent, he exited the room. Taehyung was set on finding you and speaking to you like a normal human being, his mind now cleared after those orgasms, so he felt sort of confident that he’d be able to get out a coherent sentence without sounding like an insecure loser.

Jungkook spotted him as he emerged from the hallway, his bunny smile spreading across his face when he saw how disheveled his friend looked, and considering he had seen you exit from that same spot minutes prior he knew what had gone down.

“Hey buddy.” Jungkook cooed obnoxiously, hands coming up to squeeze Taehyung's cheek, his fingers rubbing off the leftover residue of your lipgloss from his skin. He was drunk, breath smelling like vodka and his eyes glazed over, the classic dopey Jungkook smile on his face. Taehyung swatted his hands away from him with a grimace but Jungkook just slid beside him, slinging his arm across his shoulders and dragging him to the kitchen to get even more alcohol.

“So you fucked her right?” Taehyung accepted the drink, taking a sip as his eyes searched the room for you just like they had earlier.

“Sure,” he responded, not wanting to tell his friend that although you were both naked on top of each other and you had forced two orgasms out of him, he had not in fact been able to slide his dick inside of you.

Jungkook was too drunk to comprehend that sure didn’t exactly mean yes so he whooped, throwing his arms in the air with a laugh, and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend. 

“Have you seen her by the way?”

Jungkook thought back to when he spotted you leaving Hoseok’s room, you had a look of satisfaction on your face as you walked through the house and headed for the backyard. You emerged back out with one of your friends beside you and you both laughed as you made a swift exit out of Jungkook’s house entirely. It was pretty obvious you wouldn’t be coming back.

“She definitely left.”

Taehyung could feel his heart sink at that. He should’ve spoken to you when you were both alone in the room instead of lying there in his post orgasmic glow. Too late. 

He slid his phone out and decided he had to text you. The black line flickered on his phone, taunting him, waiting for him to type anything out, but he was stuck. What was he supposed to say? Thanks for the orgasms with a stupid emoji tacked at the end?

Taehyung 1:48am : You left so fast, get home safe

That’s what he settled on, and his eyes stayed glued on the phone when he saw the notification that you read it, three dots popping up as you typed a response back.

Y/N 1:52am : Sorry friend needed to get home and I was her ride.

Y/N 1:52am : Think about me tonight yeah? Goodnight busboy.

Taehyung thought about you alright. He thought about you often, frequently replaying the events that had happened that night as his fist wrapped around his cock on those nights where he was beyond desperate to cum.

The both of you hadn’t spoken much since the night of Hoseok and Jungkook’s party, due to the fact that finals were approaching and as much as you enjoyed this game you had with him, you also knew you needed to pass the classes you had. Taehyung doesn’t fault you for that, he was on the same boat, and if you had continued to tease him on the bus or through text message while he was already on the verge of a mental breakdown, he wasn’t sure he could survive it.

So it came as no surprise that when the semester came and went, the communication was once again severed, no longer having the morning commute to share together as winter break started.

Taehyung still thought of you often, every time you uploaded something onto your social media he stared at it for a minute too long, fingers urging to send you a message and start a conversation; but considering everything that had transpired between you two had been purely sexual he wasn’t sure a ‘haha funny meme’ message was going to get him very far.

When the second week of break rolled around and Taehyung started to go out with his friends, you began to slip his mind, the small acceptance of whatever you two had going fizzling away from his thoughts. He wondered if you forgot about him already, maybe you were home visiting family and had your sights set on another person.

With that thought engraved in his mind he allowed himself to go out with Jimin and Namjoon on a Saturday night, the three of them being the few of his friends that lived in the city and weren’t going home to their family for the holidays. They stood by the bar of some club closer to Jimin’s apartment, deeper into the city, a place Jimin swore the hottest girls frequented and when Taehyung scoped the crowd he took notice that Jimin was right.

It only took two shots to loosen him up enough to ease onto the dance floor, and only a few more minutes until a pretty redhead spotted him and made her way over, her hands trailing up onto his shoulder as she moved her hips in time with his. He smirked down at her, her eyes gleaming up at him while her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, she’s definitely his usual type. The way she gripped onto him when he slid his thigh in between her legs, how she easily gave in to the way he kissed his way into her mouth, eager to let him have his way with her. It’s no shock that he found himself tucked away in a corner of the club, letting her hands roam his chest as she latched her lips onto his neck while he dipped his hands under the hem of her skirt to play with her covered slit. It’s messy and he’s the one leading the way, it's familiar for him, but he can’t stop the small craving inside of him for something else, something different.  

She whimpered into his mouth, not at all shy about being out in the open, and he can feel his cock throbbing at the thought of another girl that isn’t you for the first time—and you must have a sixth sense—there's no other explanation for him besides that when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

The nameless redhead whined at the loss of contact when he pulled his hand back to grab his phone, but he shushed her with a kiss, telling her he needed a minute. And that's all the convincing she needed to continue sucking hickeys into his neck.

When his phone lit up and he saw your name on his lock screen he blanked, eyes roaming behind him when he looked back to check if maybe you were here and that's why you were texting him. But when he unlocked the phone and saw the message you sent, it was oh so obvious that you were definitely not at the club.

The revelation of the photo you had sent catches him so off guard, he almost drops his phone, the device slipping through his fingers until he reacts and slammed it against his chest so hard to not let it clatter to the ground. The action winded him, the sharp pain of his phone wacking his chest had him wincing and it got the girl's attention.

Leaning back as her curious eyes peeked up to stare at him, instead she found herself staring at his chest, her face oddly lit up. The realization settled within him now, noticing that he must have flipped the phone over when he caught it and she was now clearly looking at the photo of you naked. The jaw dropping nudes you had sent, showcasing your boobs with your fingers on your nipple, wet with your arousal; and the second photo of your pussy on display had taken his breath away, but all it got him was a glare and a shove to his chest from the red head, muttering out that he was a pig as she pushed her way back to her friends.

He gulped as he flipped the phone around and analyzed the photo, a deep groan leaving him, because god dammit he had just started to come to terms that whatever you had was old news. You were always keeping him on his toes, it was going to fuck with his heart and his health.

Taehyung turned around and squinted through the flashing lights to hopefully find his friends, spotting Namjoon with a drink in one hand, his other clutching onto a blonde as they danced together, and he made his way over to him. 

“I’m gonna head out,” he mumbled into Namjoon’s ear, ignoring the confused glance he gave him. The clear translation being: what the hell.

“We just got here.”

Taehyung knew this but he can’t hang around here with the thrumming bass and dance with other girls when you had just sent him these fucking photos. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take an uber just let Jimin know.”

Namjoon could only nod, not really wanting to separate himself from the cute girl he had grown fond of, but he would be forcing Taehyung to come out with them again next week. He just watched as his friend slipped through the crowd of the club until he stepped out. 

When the cold air hit him Taehyung gulped it down, hands pressing against his face as he sighed and walked towards the brickwall on the side of the club. He couldn’t do this anymore, and with the alcohol numbing his common sense he didn’t think twice as he pulled his phone back out and opened up your message again, rechecking that you had in fact sent him those photos. And when he saw that you had, obscene photos still filling up his screen, he clicked the phone button and gave you a call.

He swore you weren’t going to answer him as the ring droned out, but when it cut off and all he heard is silence, he held his breath, wide eyes focusing on the cars driving on the street in front of him.

“Hi.” 

Oh fuck.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He spoke out so softly, pleading into the phone as he grabbed a chunk of his hair in between his fingers.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” you hummed, phone pressed against your shoulder and ear as you lazily trailed a finger up and down your stomach.

“No!” he shouted, wincing when he saw other club goers give him an odd look. “No, but why me? We haven’t even spoken lately.”

“We’re speaking right now.”

He remained silent, not knowing how to respond to you, but he keeps the phone pressed against his ear, the soft sound of you breathing being the only noise he hears—until there's a small moan. It makes his blood run cold, eyes slipping shut as he imagined why you had made that noise.

“What are you doing?” He finds himself getting the courage to ask, enjoying the small laugh you let out as you admitted to touching yourself, so nonchalant and carefree about the fact that you were still the leading cause to his blue balls.

Taehyung was slightly tipsy, his mind whirling as he pictured your fingers sinking into your pussy like they had that night, the pretty sounds you had let out as your mouth was stuffed full of his cock and he groans. “Do you really enjoy making me suffer?”

“Oh, are you suffering?” you cooed into the receiver. “You know all you have to do is say it.”

He knew this, oh god did he know this and right now he’s way too lost in it all to even feel the embarrassment or unsureness he usually does when he’s around you, so he asks—no begs—to finally fuck you. “Please, please let me fuck you Y/N.”

Your own eyes shut as he said this, fingers coming back up to rest on your stomach while you sat up in your bed with a smile on your face, focusing on the object beside your bed. “Okay, I’ll let you, if you let me try something on you first.”

Taehyung doesn’t even care to ask what the hell you meant by that, his mind already set on fucking you, and when he agreed without a second thought you text him your address, your head whirling at whats to come.

Taehyung didn’t even realize when he got to your place, running on autopilot fueled by pure hormones as he got into the taxi and managed to somehow get to your apartment in one piece.

His fingers were shaking slightly as he punched in the code you had given him, the main door buzzing as it unlocked, and it's then that it hits him, he's actually here. He had actually voiced his want for you and now he was here, fuck.

You sat patiently on your living room couch, a soft oversized shirt on as you waited for him to make his way up. You had buzzed him in about a minute ago, so when you heard the soft thud of footsteps approaching in the hallway, you knew it was him.

The gentle knock against your door had you hopping up from your spot, slowly approaching it and pressing your eye against the peep hole to catch a glance at him. He stood a foot or so away, eyes squinting at his phone and back up at the number to make sure it was the right place, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of a neighbor. 

Once you pulled open the door, you could tell he was nervous, hair a little messy on top of his head and face looking slightly flushed, but he stood up straight and gave you a smile.

“Hi,” he utters out, walking into your place when you stepped aside and motioned for him to come in. He half expected your apartment to look like a sex dungeon, dark and dim, covered in leather with a sex swing in the corner, but its surprisingly normal.

The soft pastel pinks and oranges greeting him is definitely not what he imagined but he likes it, his eyes locking onto a watermelon plushie with button eyes tucked into the edge of your couch.

“Taehyung, do you want some water?” you offer, wanting to ease him into this, but he just shakes his head, turning back around to face you and it's then that he realized you’re only wearing a shirt.

“If you’re drunk we don’t have to do this right now.”

Taehyung heard you loud and clear, but he can’t look away from your chest, every time he blinks he could see the image of your tits thanks to the picture you had graciously provided him with. It’s killing him because he knew you were currently bare underneath the thin shirt you have on.

To be honest he wasn’t drunk, barely even tipsy, the small amount of liquor he consumed tonight was way less than his normal amount. He felt woozy enough around you on a normal day, but he knew he definitely wasn’t too drunk to do what he had come here to do.

“No, I’m good. I swear.”

The determination in his tone was very clear but you still waited for him to stop blatantly staring at the way your nipples poked through the fabric of your shirt, until finally his gaze locked with yours, following behind you as you led the way to your bedroom.

When he entered your room his eyes were drawn to your bed, fluffy and inviting, draped in a soft peach duvet with light pillows, but knowing the absolutely filthy things you most likely did on it killed the small sense of innocence he initially felt. Especially when he spots the hitachi wand resting pretty at the edge of the bed.

You were staring at his profile when he spotted it and you saw the way he swallowed, wide eyes bulging out as he analyzed the toy. Was this what you had been using when you answered his phone call? He wasn’t sure, he hadn’t heard anything in the background...maybe it was one of those fancy zero noise ones.

When he heard you giggle he snapped out of it, turning to face you with curious eyes. 

“Have you never seen one?” Taehyung remained silent as he thought, but it's pretty clear he hadn’t. There was never time for sex toys with one night stands in random houses, sure he had seen them in porn but real life felt different. He wished he had, he didn’t want to use this on you and fumble around and make a bigger fool of himself.

“I take it you’ve never used one then?” you ask again as you walk over to it, picking it up gently in your hands and approaching Taehyung thanks to the fact that it was wireless.

He could only shake his head, staring at it in your grasp as your fingers glided over the plastic handle, your thumb flicking it on and smiling when the low hum filled the room. It's on the lowest setting but that didn’t stop you from beginning to get excited.

“Would you let me try this on you Taehyung?”

He looked utterly confused by your question, not at all expecting to be on the receiving end of this. What did you mean by that?

“You mean like shove it up my ass?” He could see you trying not to laugh at him, biting your lip as you shook your head. 

“No, it's not a dildo Tae. Use it here.” You reached out until it was gently pressed against his crotch, the wand buzzing over his jeans. He let out a grunt at the feeling, head dropping down to stare at the white silicone head weakly vibrating on him, taking a moment to get over the initial shock. He chalked it up to being slightly under the influence, but he really wanted you to turn it up.

It was clear to see how mesmerized he was by the device so you flicked it up a level, relishing in the small gasp he let out as his jaw dropped. It was barely a flutter of pleasure, but something about it excited him, had him craving more so he looked up at you, glassy eyes and all. 

“You can do whatever you want to me.” He felt no shame when he told you that, groaning once more when you applied a hint of pressure against him.

The way your body reacted to his words was pure instinct, him admitting to letting you do as you please unhinged you. He saw it in the way you bit your lip, your eyes roaming his face until they dragged down his body, landing on his now half hard cock with the vibrating head of the wand still pressing against it.

“Fuck, please,” he begged, and when you retract the wand he almost takes it back. That is, until you were pulling him in, one hand tugging at his shirt until he's flushed against you, your lips meeting his in a frenzy, swallowing the moan he let out into the kiss. His hands stayed at his sides, not sure if he was allowed to touch you again considering you had told him not to last time, and you smirked when you realized it. Taehyung knew he would only be able to touch you if he deserved it, your words being engraved in his brain, and he was planning on earning that tonight.

“Good boy, you remembered.” you whispered out, lips brushing against his as you spoke. His eyes remained shut, the only indication that he heard being the small nod he gave you. Your hand inched up from the grasp you had in his shirt until you’re cupping his cheek gently.

“You see what happens when you’re good?” You kissed him again, pulling back once he started to press harder into you. “You get rewarded.” His breath shuddered against your face at the promise of being rewarded, and you smiled while reaching down to grab his hand and gently tugged him closer towards your bed, your right hand still holding the wand loosely by your side as he followed along.

“Do you want me–“ he paused to take a breath when you turned back around to face him. “Do you want me to strip?” His voice sounded so soft, unsure if asking you was the right thing to do, but him asking you this showed you that you’d managed to create another sliver in his outer shell. One step closer to cracking him.

You gave him another gentle kiss, nodding as you stepped back from him, eyes trained on his body while he began to tug at the black shirt he had tucked into his jeans, the material slowly sliding off his body and revealing his tan skin.

He didn’t feel uneasy at your staring this time around, being able to tell you’re clearly enjoying the view of him slowly undressing, your eyes focusing on his cock as it sprung out when he slid out of his briefs. Your hand clutched onto the wand a little tighter, fingers hovering over the power button with newfound enthusiasm, eager to make him squirm at the new sensation. And when he took  it upon himself to settle onto your bed without you having to ask, you withheld the urge to clap in excitement.

Taehyung waited with baited breath when you kneeled onto the bed, shuffling your way up his body and setting the toy by his side, his body flinching slightly when the cool plastic touched his skin as it rolled on the bed. Resting your weight on your left hand, settled by his shoulder while your right hand softly cupped his cheek as you inched closer. His eyes looked at your lips before looking back down to his own hands, an unspoken question hanging off his tongue.

“My hands?” Is all he managed to get out, the rest of the question dying when he made eye contact but you only raised your brows up, making him realize he needed to be more specific. “Do you want them grabbing the headboard again?”

Leaning forward to kiss him once more, you smirked, witnessing how such a simple question could embarrass him so much due to him being in a different position than he was used to. “Ideally I’d want them cuffed and behind your back.” He shut his eyes at your words, cock throbbing as he pictured himself the way you wanted him. “But not today. Just keep them on the bed. Can you do that?”

Taehyung felt your lips press against his again and he nodded. “Y-yeah, yeah I can.”

He could feel you hum against his skin, the hand that was cupping his cheek beginning to trail down his chest, passing his navel until you reached his dick, fingers wrapping around him and beginning to slide your palm up and down. “Good.”

He sighed into your mouth as your hands squeezed around the base of his cock, twisting as it came up in a slow motion, wanting to ease him into the pleasure of it so as to not scare him when you grab the wand again. It only took a few minutes until he’s kissing you more relaxed, body sagging into the bed as he grunt softly into your mouth whenever you focused on his swollen tip; and that's when you reached over to your bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lube you had with your lips still attached to him.

They separate with a light smack, and you rest back onto his thighs, taking a moment to take him in, the way he’s laid out on your bed, chest heaving slightly while his weeping dick sat against his stomach. He watched you intently as you uncapped the lube you have, dropping a generous amount into your palm and wrapping it around his cock again. Taehyung hissed at the cool sensation, stomach tensing when you began a fluid motion only set on spreading the liquid, but he still groaned because he knew what was next.

You tried not to let the overt excitement show on your face when you reached over and grabbed the wand once more, thumb flicking it on to the lowest setting and pressing it against his thigh first, observing the way he jumped slightly at the sensation. “I know you’ve never used this before,” you start, trailing the vibrating head up onto his stomach and back down to his other thigh, dipping down slightly towards the center but staying off his cock. “So, you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable at any moment okay?”

His thighs are tensing up already, getting desperate to feel something, anything. “Like a safe word?”

“Sure,” you hummed, staring back at his face and seeing the distraught look on it. He wasn’t sure why the idea of a safe word sent his mind into a flurry, he had never used one and having to think of one that he’d remember seemed almost impossible at the moment. “Or we can make it easy. You know traffic lights?”

He nodded. “Great. If you say green everything's going good, yellow is if you start to feel uncomfortable or need me to slow down, red is if you need me to stop completely. You say these at any time.”

You’re continuing to tease him as you explained this and Taehyung rested his head back, not wanting to see you as you clearly avoided giving his dick any attention. 

“Okay, I got it. Green,” he groaned out, and you just chuckled, finally pressing the head of the vibrator against his cock. The low vibrations started at the base and his stomach tensed at the feeling, a tiny whine escaping him, hands having to resort to clutching your sheets again to stop himself from grabbing you and forcing you to switch it up a level.

The head of the vibrator bent slightly as you applied more pressure, thumb flicking it up two levels and enjoying the way he cursed, his head lifting back up to stare in awe as you slowly dragged it up an inch before coming back down, passing it right over his balls briefly. 

“Oh shit,” he keened, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, not being able to thrust up into it because you were still resting on his thighs.

“Aren’t you glad you told me yes?” you asked teasingly, sliding it up until it was nuzzled right against his frenulum before kicking it up another two levels. His reaction had you dripping against his thighs, arm muscles taut from how hard he’s grabbing the duvet, stomach caving in as he moaned out unabashedly. 

“Fuck,” he gasped, “yes, I am.” Taehyung had no idea something like this could feel so good, he was so accustomed to hearing women talking about vibrators and he thought it was a load of shit. Clearly he had been very, very wrong. 

Even though you’re focusing it on the underside of his tip, slowly raising the levels up until he’s squirming, he felt like his whole lower body was vibrating. The telltale signs of his orgasm creep up on him, the feeling only increasing when your fingers wrap around his shaft and you hold the vibrator against his swollen tip. The fluttering feeling of pressure building up becoming more consistent, his breath leaving him in huffs as he tried to force it away.

You can tell by the way his body started to tense up, your finger turning it up another level to push him further. “Are you gonna cum already? I thought you wanted to fuck me?”

He whined loudly, desperately trying to sink his hips into the bed to ease the pressure but your hands followed his movements, his head whipping to the side as he scrunched his face up. “Fuck, I do–I do want to fuck you, god–“ he gasped out when you started to circle the head of the toy around his tip, the rolling pleasure becoming too much. “Unghh, please let me f-fuck you.”

His stomach began to shudder more aggressively, hips wiggling around and you smirked down at him, his face finally turning back up to stare at the ceiling, his brows pulled together tightly with unshed tears prickling his waterline. “Hold it Taehyung.”

He nearly sobbed at your demand, taking in a deep breath as he shut his eyes once more, forcing himself to try to tune out his nearing release. His heart feels tight in his chest, blood thrumming so loud in his head, eyes burning as the tears finally spill over. But it’s too late, the tingling feeling had started to spread throughout his body and he knew he was a few seconds away from blowing his load.

Taehyung let out a pained moan. “Fuck I can’t, y-yellow, yellow!” You let go of his cock, the vibrator lowering in intensity before easing off and going back to trail on his stomach and thighs as his close release faded away, letting him whimper as he tried to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.”

After a moment you switched the toy off entirely and set it aside on the bed, soft hands running along his skin to help calm him down, reaching up to gently wipe away his fallen tears. “Don’t be sorry, you did good.”

He sighed in relief, glad that he hadn’t ruined it by not being able to hold off his orgasm, he tried the best he could but the only way he wanted to cum was after he sank into you.

You gave him another minute to come down, easing off of his thighs to tug your shirt off of your body, the material landing in a heap on the floor and that grabbed Taehyung's attention. He looked at your body with desire, wanting to reach out and grab you, kneading your flesh as he cupped your tits and ass, but he's done so well so far so he holds himself back. The only daring touch he allowed is his thumbs gently rubbing against your knees as they rest on either side of his thighs.

You let the touch slide as you bent forward and kissed him, reaching over to the bedside drawer and pulling out a condom. Leaning back from him, you tear it open with your teeth and slowly ease it onto his throbbing cock, hearing him groan when your hands add a bit of pressure at his base once it's fully rolled on.

“You okay?” you ask softly. He looked dazed out, no longer tipsy from his earlier adventure but his mind was working on overdrive, the abundance of fantasies he’s had of you are coming to fruition. He was finally going to know what it felt like to actually fuck you, and he was scared his excitement would make him cum a minute in, especially after he had forced his last orgasm away.

“Yeah, just–“ he swallowed harshly, letting his head fall back into the plush pillows. “Give me a minute please.” You smirked at the slightly pained expression on his face, but you hummed anyways, letting his dick lay back above his stomach as you leaned forward and opted for kissing him softly, fingers slowly trailing through his hair to help calm him down.

Taehyung shivered as your nails gently scraped down until you reached his neck, his hips beginning to rut up against you, clearly being ready to continue.

“Please,” he starts again, groaning as you tugged his lower lip between your teeth, letting it snap back gently. “Let me fuck you. I’ve been good right?” He still felt his face flush at his own words but a strange sense of pleasure also coursed through him when you nodded in response.

Your hand reached down between your bodies, grabbing his cock to tease around your entrance. “Yes Tae, you’ve been very good.” He held his breath as you started to ease down onto him, the both of you groaning at the pleasant stretch of your walls, his jaw dropping while he kept his eyes glued at the sight of his thick cock parting your lips.

“Holy shit,” he gasped out when you fully sank onto him, giving him a moment as you rested your hands on his chest, biting your lip at how full you felt.

Kim Taehyung’s dick lived up to its name, long and girthy with the prettiest veins running along the underside of it, the slightest curve of it allowing it to gently nudge along the sweet patch inside of you. It filled you up perfectly, leaving you stunned above him as you adjusted to his size. 

When his breathing evened out, you peeked a glance at him, his forehead slightly damp from the earlier teasing. He looked so utterly fucked out and desperate and it urged you on; you were determined to crack him, show him how great this could be, and so far he seemed more than willing to let go of control.

As you start a slow rhythm, you wished you could bind his wrists behind his back, strapped into a chair, wrapped up in the pretty red rope you used to use on Jungkook, or even drape your favorite blindfold over his eyes like you used to with Hwasa;  but you didn’t want to push him further, you were letting him dip his toe into this.

Taehyung was so used to being in control, so used to being the one in charge of giving for himself, and when he had heard the way you spoke to him: praising him for behaving, all giggly and soft after you had made his mind blank from an orgasm, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to his normal.

His thumb was still grazing your knees, every time he flicked them upward on your skin he could feel your muscles tense as you lift yourself off of him and snap back down, the sound of your skin slapping together filling up the room. They mixed in with your soft moans, nearly concealing how affected you were by this, hiding the small cries of pleasure felt from the tip of his cock nudging the sweetest spots deep within you. 

Taehyung could feel his blood buzzing in his ear, the feeling of being buried inside of you going beyond what he ever thought, his heart continuing to pound when he felt you tighten around his length.

“Is this worth you leaving whoever you were with earlier tonight?”

Your words caught him off guard for a moment, having to clear the heady feeling in his brain, and he took a moment to wonder how you knew he was with someone, but then your fingers came to prod at the hickeys littering his neck.

Half moons marked his skin as your nails came down to his chest, lightly digging into his skin and he hissed, hips thrusting up slightly. “Shit, I–“ he whined when you began to grind against him, slow rocks of your hips letting him feel the glide of your walls against his cock. “Yes, so worth it.”

You let yourself lean more against his chest, tits pressed along his skin as you brought your face closer. “Do you think she would’ve been able to make you feel this good?”

He doesn’t even have to think about it, immediately shaking his head. “No—fuck, just you.”

You pressed a kiss directly underneath one of the hickeys, leaning back again and cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you resumed bouncing on top of him. Sinful slaps of your skin connecting fill up the room like it belonged there, arousal gushing out of you when he whimpers at the visual of you riding him. 

The whiny pleas he let out proved he’s edging close to his release again, making a heat pool in your gut, and he shocks you when he requests for you to place your hands around his throat. He had always been interested in choking, albeit he always imagined he’d be the one with his hands wrapped around someone but this felt right, your thumb and middle finger pressing into his carotid artery had all the stars aligning in his eyes.

Your eyes widened at his reaction, not expecting him to be bold enough to ask for this considering it took him this long to tell you he wanted to fuck you, but you’d take it. You’d take his half lidded gaze as you applied pressure on his neck, his stomach caving in slightly everytime you slid back down on his length, your walls squeezing him deliciously as he neared his end; you’d take all of it. .

He could feel his mind going hazy, drifting up as every nerve in him tingled, hyper fixated on the repeated raunchy, wet sound of you riding him. Taking note of his floaty appearance, you sped up your pace, tightening up around him as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. “You feel so good Taehyung, cum for me.”

He shivered slightly at your words, your hands squeezing a little tighter against his neck, and suddenly he's cumming. His body was set alight as the feeling caught him by surprise, eyes bulging out and a choked gasp leaving his mouth when you released his throat.

He let out a loud moan of your name, rutting his hips up into you as his dick twitched and filled up the condom, spine sparking with pleasure as you continued to rut against him. “Oh fuck,” he cried out, his hand coming up to tangle into his hair while the small after shocks of his orgasm hit him.

When you reached over to grab the forgotten hitachi wand, his mind blanks, seeing you continuing to grind against his still hard dick as you pressed the head of the wand against your clit had him at a loss.

Fuck you’re hot.

When you smiled down at him, your mouth dropping open slightly when you found the sweet spot, he realized he uttered that out loud. Another groan of his spilled out again when he felt the vibrations against his own cock from how high you had the settings.

You give up on fucking him, letting his cock stay nuzzled deep inside of you as you pressed one hand against his ribs while you hunched over and moaned. The intensity of the vibrator had your whole body trembling, buzzing directly against your swollen clit with precision, making your velvety walls pulse around his sensitive cock. 

The feeling of your orgasm came on strongly, your hand pressing the toy harder against you, and Taehyung felt like he could cum again as you tightened your walls around him, the sensation making him softly rut up into you.

“Oh god, fuck Taehyung,” you gasped out, throwing your head back as your orgasm finally hit you. All Taehyung could do was stare at you in a daze as you came undone, small whimpers leaving your lips as your hips twitched, chasing the pleasure until you were sighing and shutting off the toy, body still trembling from the aftershocks. 

When you tossed it aside you stayed sat on him, breath heaving as you hunched over him slightly. His hands that were on your knees fully came up onto your thighs to gently massage them, wanting to comfort you, the mutual understanding that he was allowed to touch you after sex being passed between you. 

After a minute, you slowly eases yourself off of his soft length, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the bin beside the bed.

Taehyung was entirely spent. Tonight had felt like the longest night of his life, and his eyes were drifting shut when he felt you straddle him again, your arms resting on his chest as you stared up at his sleepy form.

His eye cracked open and he grinned at you when he saw the look on your face; it was the sweet smile you wore when you were up to no good. The fingers on your left hand gently spelled your name on his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, your chin rested on top of your arm and you laughed when you saw his eyebrow raise up in question.

“What?” he asked. You were clearly out of the mood that made you want to bind and tease Taehyung until he was crying, wanting to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable after doing things you knew he wasn’t used to with your soft touches.

You hummed softly as you stared into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung is into choking huh?”

His face flushes immediately as he replays his request in his mind, and you pat his chest to get him to stare at you, a small frown on your face at his clear embarrassment. “Hey, it wasn’t a tease. It’s hot.”

Taehyung raised both brows now, staring at you like you had said something absolutely foreign to him. Tonight was a night of firsts and realizations, who knew Taehyung loved the feeling of a vibrator on his cock, and who knew he had a kink for your hands around his throat. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” you mused, lifting up slightly to inch closer to his face. “Seeing you squirming while I choked you was the hottest thing.”

He could only stare at you, the gears in his head turning as he thought of what just happened. He never imagined he’d be into giving someone control like that. Taehyung knew it was minuscule, but this was all new to him and he loved it already, his brain wondering how much further you could take it.

“You know, I’m kinda into it.” He looked away from you as he said this, still not confident in admitting it and he knew it was silly, especially when he could see how much hearing these words lit your face up.

Your eyes shut when he admitted to this; it always felt like finding gold when you got a man to confess to enjoying this. So many men were always afraid to admit to liking how it felt when a girl took control over them, no matter how subtle, and Taehyung was someone you thought would be a little harder to break down.

“Are you?”

He hummed, his hands finally coming up higher to touch you and his warm grip caught you off guard. But he takes his time as he trails his fingers up and down your sides, gliding across your back, sliding them into your hair and tugging you closer until he’s kissing you, the first time he’s ever taken control of any situation.

He relished in the small gasp you let out as he licked the seam of your lips, his tongue slipping in and massaging against yours slowly for a brief moment until he’s pulling back. Taehyung realized that this is the longest conversation you two have had in person, and the first one where he didn’t feel like a babbling idiot.

“Is there more we can try next time?” he wondered softly, nudging your noses together and kissing you again briefly.

Your mind was already picturing how he’d look tied up, cock swollen and dripping with a cockring sat snuggly around his base, maybe a thick collar around his neck. You could ease him into trying out some of the floggers you have, or tempt him into wax play, maybe ice cubes if he was wary of the wax. So many ideas that had you squirming on top of him with anticipation, and when he saw that look on your face he found himself smiling with you.

“Oh, there's so much Taehyung. You just have to tell me what you’re comfortable with.” Your fingers are raking through his own hair now as he leaned into the touch. “Can you do that?”

When your fingers tugged the strands, he sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Pressing your lips against his again, he feels you smirk against his skin, the small sharpness of your teeth sinking into his lip making him groan. “Good boy.”

[waveypedia]

New Days

Rymin Week Day 4: Off the Train

1 2 5 6 7

Ao3

~

Contrary to popular belief (his parents), Min-Gi is not a morning person.

He’d trained himself into getting up and going to bed early, first at his parents’ insistence, then as a necessary skill for all the classes he was taking in high school (Gotta make that college application shine!). Yet given the choice, he would happily stay up all night and wake up extremely late.

On the train, all of Min’s obligations and restrictions suddenly vanished. Although his schedule was primarily dictated by not dying, which led him to sleep and wake up at odd hours (and telling time on the train is a complicated task anyways), he started sleeping in later and later. Now that he’s off the train, and most of his days consist of driving, songwriting, and practicing, he’s free to wake up as late as he wishes.

It’s why he finds himself slowly slipping into the world of wakefulness one unassuming Thursday morning. The van is already moving, as per usual - Ryan doesn’t mind the quiet mornings as Min sleeps away. Golden rays of sunlight peak through the van’s windows.

In the driver’s seat, Ryan is spotlighted in one. The sun’s brilliant hues turn his brown hair into shades of tree bark and make his soft skin glow. He’s beautiful.

Ryan is a morning person, in contrast to Min, but he would very much like to be a night person. They’ve spent ages lamenting the fateful injustice. Unlike Min, who used to force himself to go to bed early even if it meant lying awake in the dark for hours, Ryan chooses to just run on little sleep. He’d go out and party and/or perform all night, crash for a few hours, and wake up at his usual time.

He’s been getting better, though. Just like Min, they’ve both been making bounds of progress now that they’re off the train and free from restrictions. Every time Ryan goes to bed at a decent hour, it eases the worry in Min’s heart.

They’re both doing so much better now. Min never thought he’d be grateful for getting spontaneously kidnapped by a magical death train, but he and Ryan are so much happier now than they’d ever thought they’d be.

Ryan glances over, smiling fondly. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

It’s a running joke between them, one that started way back on the train with Kez, but Min’s heart never fails to make a little jump whenever Ryan calls him beauty.

“Morning,” Min replies, stretching. He digs around in a bag at his feet. “Did you move the songbook?”

“Yeah, I was working on it earlier,” Ryan says. He jerks a thumb behind him without taking his eyes off the road. “I left some new lyrics and chords for you to look over.”

Min smiles. “Thanks.” Following Ryan’s directions, he grabs the songbook, a blue pencil, and his coveted mini-synth. Items in hand, he carefully slips into the passenger’s seat and buckles up.

Ryan shoots him a quick grin and turns his music off so Min can write.

For the next few hours, they stay as they are - Ryan keeps them on track to their next gig, while Min tackles the lines Ryan wrote earlier. It was a bit of a learning curve, figuring out how to write songs together, when they first started out. Ryan only knew chords and tablature, while Min only knew notated music from his viola days. Now, though, a couple months into their journey, they’ve worked out a good system. Whoever comes up with lyrics or a melody first (usually lyrics, and usually Ryan) will pen it along with any chords or notes they can think of. The other will look it over, edit it, and add the missing element. It usually makes for a solid first draft.

Min twirls the pencil in his hand. Blue. His favorite color. Ryan usually writes in a red pencil, from a set of colored pencils he stole from his younger brother before leaving. It makes contributions easy to distinguish when writing and editing.

Every so often, while Min looks over Ryan’s ideas, he’ll pull out his mini-synth and tap out a melody. Both of them find it easier to create melodies with an instrument in hand. Min may not play his mini-synth on stage like Ryan plays his guitar, but it still makes him happy to play it regularly. Not as a toy, not as something he has to hide from his boss and his parents, but as a genuine instrument.

As he writes and plays, Ryan listens. He keeps his attention on the road and map, but chimes in every so often with little affirmations and suggestions.

“Is that a D?” Ryan muses. “Under a G?”

Min thumbs the corner of the page. “Yeah, I think it sounds cool. Thoughts?”

Ryan graces him with a patented Ryan Akagi grin, all teeth. “I like it! I’ll look it over when you drive.” Ryan squeezes his fists on the steering wheel. “I’m really glad we’re working together, Min. This is way better than anything I’ve written solo.”

Min ducks his head, cheeks flushing. “Oh- Uh- I like writing with you too,” he replies. “

--

In the afternoon, they pull over and Min takes the wheel. Sometimes at this time they stop for food - they’ve made it their mission to catalogue all the small restaurants across Canada and America on the way to New York for future reference. But today Ryan got a late start on driving because he was songwriting (“Inspiration strikes when it strikes, Min! Who am I to deny my muses?” Never mind that Ryan is uncharacteristically close-lipped about what/who said muses even are), so they eat separately in the car. They step out to stretch for a minute, and Min hands over the songbook and food. Then they’re off again.

Ryan makes a few more edits with his red pencil, but they always collaborate on the second pass. At both of their insistence, they have to wait until one of them isn’t driving to truly discuss it. Min thought he might have to put his foot down on this, but Ryan was insistent - he’s an experienced driver and knows far to well just how dangerous and difficult driving is.

The afternoon passes without much fanfare. Min keeps his eyes on the road while Ryan edits and eventually breaks out his guitar. The highway is long, flat, and unassuming. Few other cars pass them.

It’s for that exact reason Ryan gets an idea that is both brilliant and stupid.

“Min. Min. Minminminminminmi-”

“What.” A feeling of dread washes over Min before the words are even out of Ryan’s mouth.

Ryan grins toothily at him. “I’m gonna stick my head out the window.”

Min chokes on air., surprised. “Wh- Ryan. Why would you want to do that? Didn’t you have enough thrills on the death train?”

“Eh,” Ryan says, shrugging. “I’ve always wanted to do it, but i couldn’t exactly do it while driving when I was touring alone. Besides, my parents would never let me.”

“For good reason,” Min grumbles, but in his gut he knows Ryan’s already won.

Ryan frowns at him. “Look, I’m not stupid. I’ll be careful. I won’t lean so far out of the car that I’ll fall. I’ll come back in if there are more cars or it looks like I might hit something.”

“Or if we start turning,” Min warns.

Ryan’s replying smile is blinding. “Does that mean it’s a yes from you?”

Min rolls his eyes. “Just try not to die. If I show up to the venue with only half the band, the manager won’t be happy with me.”

“Yes!” Ryan punches his fist in the air and dances triumphantly - or, he dances as much as one can while sitting in the seat of a moving van.

Ryan rolls down the window and sticks his head out. He’s crouching on the seat, half-standing, in order to fully fit through the window. His upper body is out of the car. His arms wave and flail, making his jacket sleeves flutter even more violently in the wind.

Min starts to shout a warning, to yell about safety precautions, to give into the panic in his heart and yell get down, but the words die in his throat the minute he lays eyes on Ryan’s face.

Ryan is joyful. Euphoric. Happy. He has always been a smiley person, but times where he is truly, unadulteredly happy are rarer than you’d think. Here, riding half-outside of the van while they drive to their fame and dreams, he seems truly free.

Min smiles. God, he loves that man.

Ryan glances back, the light reflecting off his glasses, and flashes Min an adrenaline-fueled grin and a shaky thumbs up. His ankles wobble a bit. Before Min realizes what he’s doing, he reaches out and grabs Ryan for support.

Ryan’s mouth drops open in a small ‘o’. Min moves to take his hand back, but before he can, Ryan twists and reaches back inside the car to grab Min’s wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

Min freezes.

Ryan is smiling, more bashful and careful now than before. He’s still happy, but… nervous? Anxious? 

Min’s heart flutters. He manages to smile back.

“I got you,” he says, although it comes out as a whisper.

“O-oh,” Ryan whispers. His eyes are wide and soft. “I… thank you, Min.”

Min ducks his head awkwardly. “You’re welcome.”

The rest of the drive is quiet. It’s not awkward, but it’s not as comfortable and natural as it usually would be.

Something has changed.

Min grips the wheel tighter and stares down the road, for a lack of real target. If looks could kill, the road would be up in flames. 

It’s… confusing. He’s not sure why a change in their dynamic is so upsetting and off-putting. He and Ryan have gone through so many changes over the years, and they’ve always been able to come back to themselves in the end.

Besides, it’s not like they had an argument. Or even a misunderstanding. All they did was hold onto each other to keep balance. Why does this feel so monumental?

Min chances a glance away from the road to look at Ryan. He’s curled up in the passenger seat (because Ryan seems incapable of sitting normally when he’s not driving) with his guitar. The songbook, flipped open to their latest draft, is balanced precariously on Ryan’s knee. He’s bent over to read it accurately, which must be difficult, especially in the dim light. But he seems to be managing. He’s humming softly to himself, almost too quiet for Min to catch it. As he’s focused on the road (no matter how much he wants to listen to Ryan’s ethereal yet natural and homey singing) the melody floats in and out of focus. Ryan is also plucking at his guitar, playing mostly individual notes instead of chords. It’s calming and comforting, not to mention beautiful. If Min weren’t driving, he might just fall right asleep. Even though he’s the one playing, Ryan seems drowsy as well, judging by the way he’s leaning against the back of the seat.

As they draw closer to their destination, Ryan seems to consciously shake himself into wakefulness. He sits up and puts the songbook away to focus fully on his guitar. As Min pulls off the highway and navigates the city streets, Ryan tunes his guitar and warms up. 

They run through a couple vocal exercises together, practicing harmonies and lyrics as well as warm-ups. Min is a bit shaky since he’s focused on the road, but he and Ryan know their songs by heart, and the warm-up does the job. He’s still a bit jittery as he pulls into the venue parking lot, but that’s normal. He hasn’t quite shaken his stage fright yet, but as long as he has Ryan at his side, he’s able to perform. More than that, he has fun performing.

Besides, Ryan confided in him a while back, before their first real show. “You’re not the only one with stage fright, Min,” he’d confessed. “Yeah, I love it, and the adrenaline basically cancels out the fear, but it’s still there. You just have to go for it.”

Min had felt comforted enough to perform with that, with the admission that even the seemingly-fearless Ryan Akagi, who’d always seemed more at home on a stage than at his actual home got stage fright. But then Ryan had hesitated, glanced down, and taken Min’s hand. Min’s heart had nearly stuttered to a stop in his chest. He almost missed what Ryan said next.

“Besides, it doesn’t matter if you get stage fright or not,” Ryan had said cheerfully, too cheerfully, although Min barely noticed. “All that really matters is if you enjoy what you’re doing. It’s more admirable to conquer your fear in order to chase your dreams than to not have fear.”

Min had smiled back, shaky but euphoric. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, not unlike how he felt onstage. “That’s very profound.”

Ryan had laughed and squeezed his hand. “Eh, I have a lot of experience. Listen to me, I’m the master!”

The mood subtly shifted with the joke, and suddenly they were laughing and Ryan let go of his hand and they were pushing the synthesizer on stage and it was all a blur from there until the curtain went down and Ryan was squealing and hugging him and picking him up and screaming We did it! You did it!

What a first show.

Min shakes himself back to reality and pulls into the venue parking lot. Ryan jumps out of the van before Min is fully parked, despite Min’s loud protests. He rolls his eyes and lets Ryan run ahead anyway.

While Ryan gets checked in with the manager, Min parks and unloads Barold and the rest of their equipment (which is pretty much just Barold now, since Ryan took his guitar with him in his haste). He heads inside, he and Ryan set up, and then they’re standing onstage behind a lowered curtain, waiting in darkness and silence for their cue.

Suddenly, Ryan turns around and flashes Min a thumbs-up and a bright smile. It’s more jerky and jittery than usual, probably because of the nerves and adrenaline. He seems a little more on edge today, though. 

“We’re gonna do great!” Ryan promises, grinning.

Min smiles back. “We’re gonna do rad,” he replies. The tension between them dissipates, and the curtain goes up. Ryan turns toward the crowd, beaming his particular I’m-on-stage-but-I’m-really-enjoying-myself smile, and greets them. The crowd goes wild.

Energy floods Min’s body, and he grins back at the crowd. Ryan counts them off, and they burst into their opening number with the power and passion it requires. The crowd screams, but Min can barely hear them over the music and Ryan’s voice.

He’s living. Far more than he ever was before.

They both are.

--

After the show is a blur of chatting with audience members, grabbing something to eat, and scheduling another show. By the time they head to the hotel, Min’s exhausted. But he dutifully puts all the equipment in their hotel room and locks up the van before he collapses into bed.

Ryan is already in their room when Min comes in. He’s sitting on the bed, facing away from the door, with his hands on his lap. Most striking is the absence of his guitar. Ryan may have been playing all day, but it’s rare for him to be without his instrument and yet so still like this.

Ryan, to his core, is always moving. Even when he’s not physically moving, he’s always singing, humming, thinking. Yet now, he sits in absolute stillness.

“Ryan?” Min whispers. His voice is quieter than he intended, but Ryan jumps at it all the same.

When he turns, he’s smiling disarmingly, but it’s too wide and shaky to be natural. Ryan may have convinced someone else with that expression, but Min knows him too well to be fooled.

Min strides into the room with three short steps, locking the door behind him. He stops in front of Ryan, so close their knees are almost brushing. Ryan blushes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I- Nothing.” Ryan won’t meet his gaze.

Min scowls. “Come on, Ryan. Aren’t we past this? Didn’t the train teach us not to do all this not-talking crap?”

Ryan flinches. “I- Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m just… thinking.”

“About what?” Min finally moves, stepping around Ryan to sit on the bed beside him. He takes care to keep his voice soft and gentle. He doesn’t want to scare Ryan again. Whatever’s going on seems to have him skittish all of a sudden.

Ryan bites his lip. “Min, I… you know I care about you, right?”

Min blinks, surprised. “Of course I do.” Hesitantly, he reaches out to take Ryan’s hand, running his thumb over Ryan’s knuckles. “I care about you too.”

Ryan blushes. His cheeks are nearly scarlet right now. Min’s a bit too tired to unpack that all on his own right now, but he knows it means something. It spurs him on, gives him a burst of courage and energy in the adrenaline crash phase after a show. “I’m glad we’re-” He’s about to say friends, but the word dies on his lips. Suddenly, it feels all wrong, but he can’t put his finger on why.

Slowly, Ryan turns to face him. His eyes are wide and anxious, his lips slightly parted, but there’s a set determination in him that shows in his face. He reaches out to take Min’s other hand, and… leans in closer.

Min finds himself leaning in simultaneously. Soon they’re close enough Min can feel Ryan’s breath on his lips. It’s hot in more ways than one.

Oh. Oh.

So that’s why today, Ryan’s hand on his wrist, the trusting and yet shocked expression of his, felt so weird and so right at the same time.

Their eyes meet. A silent exchange passes between them.

Do you want to do this?

Yes. Do you?

Yes.

If asked after, Min couldn’t say if he initiated it or if Ryan did.

All he knows is the gap between them is now nonexistent, and Ryan’s lips are on his, and suddenly it’s everything he’s ever wanted.

The kiss is slow. Hesitant. Exploring new territory, figuring out boundaries. But it’s not awkward.

No, they are Ryan and Min, Min and Ryan, Chicken Choice Judy, and they have come much too far to be awkward. They’ve been building towards this moment since they first met, even if they didn’t know it.

It feels like a found puzzle piece of himself Min didn’t even realize he was missing. Now, he is complete. Now, they are complete.

Now, they are both truly living their lives to the fullest.

~

this fic is just: *headcanon* *headcanon* *headcanon* *hea-

oh man i almost didn't finish this one in time. it's still the 12th here, though (by a couple hours!), so i'm good! it's hard to write a full one-shot every day, but i've already come farther than i thought i would! i told myself i would finish this today, and i did! i also told myself i would finish the week and my remaining prompts, and i will. :)

title is from new days by dreamcatcher. that's the second time i've used it as a title but the last one was for a zine fic so i can get away with using it here, lol. i really love that song, so that's why. the lyrics translation are absolutely nothing like this, but for some reason it gives off road trip vibes (at least to me), so it works really well for this particular piece!

okay confession time: i think this is the first kiss scene i've ever written lol. i was writing it and i was like "hey wait a minute i have no clue what i'm doing have i done this before??? i don't think so???" it didn't help that i didn't intend to write a kiss scene, but i got to the place where i'd intended to end it and it felt like the natural progression. i'm gonna go research good kiss writing after this. i would've done it while i was writing, but i didn't want to post this any later than i had to

i have a bunch of infinity train snippets and wips i wrote right after book 4 aired and my interest in the show peaked, and i really thought i had something that would fit well for off the train but i guess i didn't?? maybe i just daydreamed it and never actually penned it skfhksl. so i was kind of flying by the seat of my pants for this one. i think it's my favorite of rymin week so far though! it was also the most fun to write. i really love introspective pieces. ryan and min off the train, after their relationship is repaired, when they're in a much better place and truly happy with each other, is also my favorite time in their lives to explore. they're so much happier and healthier, and they can truly start to explore themselves and realize their dreams.

if you have a piano or something on hand you should play the d and g notes together. they sound heavenly. in choir two years ago we had that chord and i have never forgotten it because i love it so much.

if you ever wanna talk infinity train, writing, these amazing characters, or really anything hmu here on my tumblr or twitter! thank you for reading, and please leave a reblog/like/comment if you enjoyed it!

@ryminweek

[cherrycheolliesc]

read below 👇

1.2k wc

“So you got the keys from him?” you ask as you sit in the passenger seat of Soonyoung’s car. “Yea. It was actually way easier than I thought it would be. I think he’s a fan.” he replies with a chuckle. He turns on some music and the two of you drive to the studio in a comfortable silence. After what seems like a long time, you see a cute brown haired boy standing at the entrance.

“Oh my god! Y/n! I’m Lee Chan. I’m a huge fan of you and the rest of JC. This is so crazy. Can I please hug you?” he says and you open your arms for him to run into. He hugs you comfortably, like you guys have been friends for years, “Turns out he’s just my fan, Soonie. I can’t believe Cheol didn’t let me meet you sooner”

“He doesn’t really trust a certain someone.” Chan says as you guys walk into the studio. He turns and gives Soonyoung the keys, “Just lock up before you guys leave. Not that anyone would really break into a dance studio, but just to be safe”

“I thought WE were gonna break into this studio at midnight, Soon?” you turn to the guy standing beside you, already starting to stretch. “Eh, it’s 10, so close enough. Also, Seoyeon convinced me to stop breaking into places” You feel a pang of jealousy when he mentions her name yet you don’t really know why. They were really close at the photoshoot, maybe they were together. You know you shouldn’t feel upset, but part of you can’t help yourself. “Earth to Y/n. What are you thinking about?”

“Oh nothing. Where’s Chan?” you ask looking for the smaller boy. “He left like just now. You were really spacing out, weren’t you. I wonder what’s going through that pretty little head of yours” he says with a small smirk and ruffles your hair a bit. You can’t help but look at his slightly toned arms. When did he get so in shape, you wonder. Realizing you’ve been staring for longer than you should be, you change the topic, “Are we dancing or not, Soonie?”

“Well first stretch. I know you don’t workout and this routine will definitely kill your body” “Why are you making me do a hard routine then, you know I can’t dance” “Because I like seeing you suffer.” You start doing some stretches, but clearly not good enough as Soonyoung comes up to you, “Jeez, come here. Let me help you. Open your legs, then put your right leg in” he says while walking behind you. He softly bends you forward and thoughts you shouldn’t be having about your best friend start to flood your mind. You quickly get up and say, “I think that’s enough stretching. Can we just learn the routine now?”

“Okay okay, but don’t complain to me when your body is aching in the morning.” he says with a wink and walks off somewhere. You know he’s just playing with you, but you can’t help but feel a bit flustered. You turn and start to set up the camera. He comes back with some water, “Are you gonna do the intro or should I?”

“We should both do it. This is our first video together in how long. They’ll love it if we do it together.” you say as you get into a spot where the camera can see the both of you. You clap your hands to start the intro but the two of you fail miserably a bunch of times. “Okay, Y/n you need to stop laughing. We’ve been trying to do this for the past 13 minutes.” “You act like you aren’t dying either. I’m trying to stay serious but you’re making it way too hard. Alright on three. One, two, three”

“Hey there, guys. It’s Leader Line’s Hoshi and Y/n and we’re here today to dance.” You guys finally say in unison. Soonyoung takes the lead as he begins to say, “As you all know, Y/n is probably one of the worst dancers in the world so I’m gonna teach her one of the hardest choreo’s I know” “He’s back for five days and the first thing he wants to do is torture me can you believe it”

“Anyways, we’re gonna be dancing to Just by Bumzu” he turns to you and turns on his phone to show you a video. As he starts it you see a familiar boy pop up on the screen, “Oh shit is that Chan. Wow. He’s really good, but how the hell do you expect me to do what he just did? also why is the song so..?” “So what, Y/n?” “Nothing. Nevermind. But also you better have like an easier version of that” “I do.” he says before turning to the camera, “Before we start, check out our friend’s, Chan, youtube channel. It’s called Dino’s Danceology and he’s really incredible. Now onto the dancing. I changed a bit of it so it’s easier for you and better for two partners”

You guys dance for a while to learn it all. After around 30 minutes you beg for a break and walk over to the camera to turn it off for a while. “Soonie, can’t you see I’m dying. Give me like 10 minutes then we can start again.” you say as you collapse on the floor. He gets a drink of water, takes off his shirt, and lays down beside you. You try not to look over at him, knowing you’ll have even worse thoughts about him then the ones you’re already having. As you’re gonna say something, he opens his mouth, “How about we leave the camera off for a while and just finish learning the dance. We can turn it back on once we finish the routine. Now get up, we’re almost done”

“Why is the dance so like...sexy? Isn’t that kinda weird? Also Chan’s version wasn’t really like this” you say trying to get a reason as to why he chose this song. “Because it has to be a routine for two people. And sexy gets content you know,”

You guys get back into the dance, but not after long, you’re already stumbling on your feet again. Soonyoung grabs your waist to steady you and your back presses up against his bare chest. Your faces are only centimeters apart and it is taking all of you not to lean in at the moment. But before either of you can do anything, he says, “Okay, I think you got it. It’s really late so let’s do this routine then go home”

You turn the camera back on and the two of you start the dance. The both of you finish perfectly in one go, so you run to grab the camera without having an outro. You grab your things and try to quickly leave, but Soonyoung stops you before you can walk out, “Where are you going? I drove us here”

“I can walk home, my place isn’t too far. Also I have to grab dinner for the group anyways, I doubt they’ve eaten yet. I can edit everything then send it over to you to make sure everything is good, yea?” “Um, sure. Have a good night I guess” “Goodnight, Soonyoung”

Let Me Hear You Say

part 10: We Dance!!! (10/??)

previous / masterlist / next

summary: after not seeing each other for years, Yn is ecstatic when she finds out all of her friends will finally be in the same place at one time. but unfortunately an unwanted dream turns a 12 year friendship into hateful relationship between yn and soonyoung.

pairing: reader x soonyoung.

genre: angst, comedy, youtube au, sm au. friends to enemies to lovers.

just message me or dm me if you wanted to be added to a tag list.

tag list: @agustmonoworld @multinines--xx @noniesgirl @svtslvt @strykiss @fluffyhyeju @happyvitamin @kidultt @itsdnguyenxoxo @monstathedisco @mimaisiomai @sunshineshouchan @manamiyx @sensorivm @hoerangdan @maru40mercury @linhyyboo12

a/n - sorry this written part is so long, i didn’t even realize it was that long until i checked the word count.

[nerdypanda3126]

The Whole World Fades Away

This was written for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Sprint Fic Challenge.

The rules are three 15-minute sprints with 24 hours for light editing, which includes new writing to smooth transitions or make it feel complete. And I got a little carried away with this one when I was retyping it, so I think I ended up adding around 700 words (sorry, not sorry?)

The prompt I used this time around was Like a Movie by Cam

Read on Ao3

The brakes on Luka’s truck squealed as he rolled to a stop at the command of the red flashing lights that signaled a train was coming. The arm of the gate sprang to life and stuttered mechanically on its way down until it settled just over the hood of the truck and barred the way forward.

“Perfect timing,” Luka muttered under his breath before he shifted into park and flicked through the presets on his radio. There was only one station that wasn’t on a commercial break, and he settled on it without seeming to care what the song was before he flicked a nervous glance over to Marinette in the passenger seat. “I don’t think we’ll make your dad’s curfew.”

She giggled. “He knows I’m safe with you. It’ll be fine.”

“Says you.” He shot a grin over at her before he started drumming his thumbs on the wheel in time to the music. “He could always make good on that threat to never let me back in the bakery. However would I get my favorite macarons then?”

“You know he’s all bluster.” Marinette rolled her eyes, then bit her lip. “But if he did decide to ban you… you know you could always sneak in through my room,” she said, knowing as she said it the implications of it and that he wouldn’t take it that way at all.

He half-shrugged. “You know I suck at climbing drain pipes.” He shot another smirk over at her and she knew perfectly well he not only caught her meaning, but had brushed past it easily.

They’d been friends for so long, after all. She doubted even her parents would blink an eye at her suggesting he could be in her room without them knowing. It’s not like there had ever been anything between them. At least, not before.

Not before she’d told him about breaking up with Adrien. Not before he’d told her about wanting to stay single for a while after his last relationship mysteriously ended. Not before tonight, when she’d spent the entire time tucked into his side, his arm draped around her shoulders casually, watching a movie with his sister and his mom.

It was normally a rowdy event—complete with thrown popcorn and booing. But tonight Juleka had been in charge of picking the movie. And tonight Juleka had flashed an unholy smirk at Luka as she held up the scariest, goriest movie they owned. And tonight Luka had been whispering in her ear when it was okay to look and warning her when to look away. She could’ve sworn at one point he’d chuckled and kissed her hair, but since her face had been buried in his shoulder and she’d flinched into him as someone screamed on screen, she wasn’t sure.  

The train blared its horn on its way in, and Luka flicked the volume on the radio up a couple of notches, anticipating the clatter of the wheels against the tracks. The red lights flashed over their faces. Luka drummed on the wheel and hummed along to the song. A few drops of rain started splattering on the windshield as a storm made its way in. Time seemed frozen, even though everything was still moving forward.

“It’s like a movie,” Marinette said, then blushed as she realized how ridiculous that sounded.

“Hmm?”

She hadn’t meant to say anything out loud. She looked out the window, feigning interest in the oncoming train, while she let her blush cool. He reached over and tugged at her pigtail. When she turned back, he was smiling at her, encouraging her to keep going. She smiled back before she dropped her eyes to her hands twisting themselves together in her lap.

“It’s like those romantic movies, you know? Where there’s always that moment when the guy and the girl get stuck somewhere together and it rains and lightning strikes and somewhere in the background the thunder crashes, and…” Her eyes bounced up to his before she could stop them, and her blush flared again as she realized what her next words would’ve been. The wake coming off the train as it passed by them felt like it rocked the truck back on its heels.

“And?” he prompted after a moment.

She shifted in her seat and the leather squeaked against her thighs. “And it’s like… they’ve known each other forever, you know? But something changes in that moment and they both realize they’ve wanted to be with each other since forever, but the timing’s never been right before. But now one of them is recently heartbroken and one of them is—for whatever reason—happily single, and—” She sucked in a breath and stopped herself. Too far, Marinette. Too close to home.

He quirked his eyebrows up and smirked at her. “And?”

She didn’t dare to hope that he was doing anything but teasing her. But his hand had fallen on her shoulder and his fingers were brushing against the sensitive skin at the base of her neck and she couldn’t stop the goosebumps that raised up on her arms.

The rain started pattering more insistently on the windshield. Huge raindrops that bounced off the hood and warned of a summer downpour. The flashing red warning lights were starting to blur, until the cab was awash with a soft purple-ish red hue. The train rumbled the floor of the cab under the soles of her shoes.

“And their eyes meet,” she continued, locking eyes with him as she spoke, “and they know why nothing else has ever worked out with any other person. Because there’s one person they were always meant to be with.”

He hummed in agreement, unintentionally harmonizing with the radio. “Sounds like a great story,” he admitted. She nodded and fought back a shiver as he continued rubbing comforting circles into what she hadn’t realized was a tense muscle. “So what happens next?”

“Well…” She didn’t mean for her voice to fall to a murmur. “There’s always this dramatic pause. Where the music swells and it’s like a drum roll as they both lean towards each other.”

Was he leaning towards her or was she leaning towards him? Either way their faces were suddenly much closer, their foreheads almost touching over the seat in between them. His hand had shifted on the back of her neck, cradling her as he pulled her close to him.

“And?” he asked, the question so full of breathless hope that she almost didn’t hear it over the crash of thunder in the distance and the rumbling train.

“And they kiss,” she said, or at least started to say because before the words were out of her mouth his breath was fanning over her lips and his eyes had fluttered closed and she had closed the short distance to press her lips to his.

They kissed with the tender timidity of something new, something fragile. Although his fingers found their way into her hair and her hands had somehow ended up clasped around his neck. He pulled away, all too soon, and she chased after him before he chuckled and glanced pointedly out the windshield.

The train had passed. The flashing lights had stopped. The gates had lifted. She hadn't even noticed.

Marinette shifted back into her seat and touched her fingers to her lips in disbelief. Luka didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t seem to stop smiling as he shifted back into drive and the truck lurched into forward motion again. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard and they had missed her curfew already.

“Guess you’d better work on learning to climb those drain pipes,” she managed to say, her tone half-teasing, half-bewildered.

His hands tightened around the wheel—a subtle sign that not only the implication, but the actual possibility had hit him full-on this time. When he’d recovered, he glanced over at her and shot her a bright grin.

“We could always say the movie ran long.”

He laughed as she probably turned beet red, then reached over to grab her hand and twine his fingers through hers. After another glance over at her, he brought their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

He held her hand the rest of the drive, only breaking his grip to shift when he needed to, and when they got home her dad took one look at their joined hands and swept Luka up into a giant bear hug.

She thought she heard her dad mutter something like, “About damn time,” in Luka’s ear as he set him back on his feet and Luka gravitated back to her side.

Luka shrugged as she tucked herself back into the familiar place under his arm, and he squeezed her to him. He hadn’t stopped smiling, and neither had she. He turned his head to catch her eyes before he tucked a finger under her chin and stroked her cheek gently.  

“What can I say?" he asked softly, "when it's right, it's like a movie.”

[florenceandthemachine]

cutting down the family tree

@buckleydiazs​ said:

High school au where Buck’s the sad lonely kid with the shit family and Eddie’s the popular captain of the wrestling team who makes it his personal mission to make Buck an honorary Diaz and convince him that he deserves nice things I am just saying

WOW this got a lot longer than I thought, so I abandoned the ask and put everything all up in here. Only barely edited, SORRY LMAO.

8.5k, Buddie HS AU. underage-ish if you squint I guess? tw for abuse.

--

Buck was good at going unseen.

It was a defense mechanism—his parent’s couldn’t get upset with what they didn’t realize was there—and it had only amped up once Maddie graduated. Once she went off to college, Buck had no reason to be a distraction anymore, to try and pull attention off of anyone; so he just got better at it. He could pick things up and set them down without a sound. He constantly walked on the balls of his feet. He even kept his breathing even, slow and low, whenever he wasn’t alone.

At home, Buck had gotten really good at—nay, he had perfected—the art of becoming invisible. So it only made sense that it translated to his school life, as well. 

He got good grades—straight A’s—but only high enough to keep his grades at a 4.0, not high enough to earn Valedictorian, no AP classes, no crying over tests. Enough to ensure he would have opportunities after high school, but not enough to bring any student or teacher attention his way. 

He worked out every day, and had for years, years of defending himself or defending Maddie meant he had to be in the best shape he could be in—but while his body was packed with lean muscle and quick reflexes, he drowned himself in clothes that were a size too big, making him look smaller, unassuming. He kept his posture slouched whenever he wasn’t standing to take a few inches off of his height, to the point that he could get lost in a crowd while you were still looking at him.

He didn’t participate in after school activities. He didn’t run for school president. He didn’t have a flashy car, a high status girlfriend, he didn’t show any interests that might make him friends or enemies.

Buck was invisible to absolutely everyone.

Well... everyone except Eddie Diaz.

Eddie Diaz, who was a senior, like Buck was, but was new to Pennsylvania, moving over the summer — who was 18, a year older than Buck, because he was held back in the third grade for fighting — Eddie Diaz, who had joined the wrestling team and made captain in an embarrassingly short amount of time (well, embarrassing for the rest of the team). 

Why did Buck know all of this?

Because this was also Eddie Diaz, who, on the first day of Senior Year, locked on to Buck with laser-like focus, ignored all of Buck’s defenses, and apparently decided to take him on as a new friend pet project. 

And much to Buck’s annoyance, he just couldn’t. Shake. Eddie. Off.

He definitely tried. He changed his walkways, he changed the bathrooms he used, he changed where he parked, he did everything except change his schedule—and Eddie was still there, keeping up mostly one sided conversations. The only time he had to himself any more was his free period, the time he spent in the school weight room, and never before had be been so thankful for that regular moment of peace.

Buck finally hit his limit one lunch period, spent huddling in the library, when Eddie sat down across from him. "Eddie, isn’t there someone who actually wants to have lunch with you? Some of your friends, or teammates, or someone who isn’t me?” Buck had asked, barely looking up from the text book he had been reading—he wasn’t a fan of the ‘mean’ route, but he was at his wits end. When Eddie paused, Buck actually felt hope rise up in his chest, that he would be alone again. 

But Eddie had just leaned forward, made eye contact, and said “Nope.” with the biggest, shit eating grin Buck had ever seen.

Fine. It was less than a year. Buck could handle Eddie being around him for less than a year. 

--

Buck could not handle less than a year. 

Because Eddie, Eddie was nice. To him. To Buck, who had never said more than ten words to any other student since the day he started high school. Eddie was nice to him, and it was going to kill him.

It was going to kill Buck because he found himself wanting to be nice back. 

Not that Buck was a mean person, because he wasn’t, but niceness was followed by friendship, and friendship was followed by attachment, and that was simply unacceptable as far as Buck was concerned. 

... not that he hadn’t wondered, of course. He had always wondered what it would be like, to be able to hang out with friends, to have people come over to his house for his birthday, to have more contacts in his cell phone than the front desk of the gym near his house, his parents, and Maddie. 

He had wondered, sure, but he had never missed it. He had never craved it. He knew it was more important for him to be on his own, at least for the time being—an attachment would make it that much harder to get as far from the east coast as possible when time came for college, and that was unacceptable. 

But...

As he pulled in the parking lot, to a familiar spot near the back of the school, and saw Eddie waiting there for him so they could walk in to class together... 

Alright, so he wanted it. So sue him. 

“Buckaroo!” 

Well, that was a good way to make him want it a little less, at least.

“Eddie, I’ve told you,” Buck said with an exasperated sigh, locking his car behind him. “It’s just Buck.”

(Eddie had called him Evan once. Just once. Once the blind panic had subsided, Buck had put a stop to that, real quick.)

“And I’ve told you,” Eddie said in a sing-song voice, “it’s a nickname. Nicknames are what friends do, remember?”

“Your words, not mine.” 

Friends. Is that what they were? He rolled his eyes and shouldered his bag instead of thinking about it too deeply, but he couldn’t deny the spike of anxiety that rippled through him as Eddie started to ramble, falling back into the easy habit of talking for the both of them. He didn’t want friends. He just wanted to get out. 

“...and so I told him...”

Besides, it wasn’t like Eddie actually considered him a friend. They had barely spoken—well, Buck had barely spoken anyway. There was no way in hell that Eddie actually cared about him, right? He had to have some secondary motive.

"and after that, she...”

But that was frustrating in and of itself. Buck had been so sure that Eddie was up to something, or had some ulterior motive, or but damn it if Buck hadn’t been able to determine what it was. None of Eddie’s little douchebaggy wrestling friends had approached them, Eddie hadn’t even tried to get Buck out of his comfort zone yet, he hadn't done anything, and somehow, that was even more frustrating.

“...just because Ms. Syzmaski’s a wrinkled old bitch.”

Buck let out a laugh, in spite of himself, as Eddie rambled on, shaking his head. Ms. Syzmaski wasn’t that bad, and—oh. 

He covered his mouth as soon as he realized what he had done. He didn’t think he had laughed at all since Maddie left, and to have one pulled out of him so suddenly was a little surprising, to say the least—but as he turned to Eddie, beet red, he could tell that he wasn’t the only one surprised. 

The look that Eddie was giving him, however, was the closest thing to “starry eyed” that Buck had ever seen.

“I, uh, I have to get to class. Bye Eddie.” Buck blurted as he turned and booked it down the hall, not quiet quick enough to miss the smile and the incredibly soft “Bye, Buck” that followed him.

--

Things only got worse as more time went on.

Better?

No, worse. Definitely worse. 

Because Eddie could make him laugh, and the more time he spent with him, and the more he actually listened, the more likely those moments were. He was nice, too nice, on the rare occasion that Buck actually had lunch in the lunch room instead of hiding in a stairwell or the library, Eddie said goodbye to his friends and joined him kind of nice. The kind of nice that worked its way past Buck’s defenses, instead of breaking them down.

The kind of nice that made Buck actually want to open up, which, as he would never forget, was a dangerous kind of nice.

It was also, as he learned too late, the kind of nice that made him fucking cave in way too easily to Eddie’s whining. 

“Come on, Buck,” he had begged. “I’m going to be failing Chemistry if I don’t get a B on the midterm, and if I fail chemistry, I get booted from the team. You have to help me.”

And like a sap, Buck had sighed in agreement, giving up a Friday night doing nothing to help the intellectually infirm (“Hey!”).

Wincing as he touched up the concealer on his cheek, Buck dragged his backpack out of the passengers seat of his car, giving an appreciative look up to the small, ranch style house that spread out before him. It probably said a lot about his own expectations if he already felt more comfortable in front of a row of little ranch houses than he would in front of his own house, but… well, that was just it. His house was a big, gaudy house in a neighborhood full of big, gaudy houses. But everything about where he was now—the sound of a dog barking, the smell of someone cooking on the grill, the fact that you didn’t need to ask anyone to buzz you in to a front yard—screamed home.

He didn’t think anything could spoil how light he felt—and that was certainly proven true as Eddie opened the door before Buck even had a chance to knock. 

“Hey Buck, thanks again, you… uh, wow. You look, uh, great.”

It was a small surprise, but a nice one. He had ditched his regular, baggy, hiding-in-plain-sight clothes for a simple pair of jeans and a polo shirt, casual but comfortable, and he tried to ignore the smile tugging at his lips even as his face heated up. 

“I mean, it’s nothing special, it’s just jeans and a—“

“Eddie! Bring your friend inside and close the door!”

It didn’t matter how he had tried to prepare himself, there was something about a parent yelling that would probably always cause Buck to tense up, and tense up he did. If Eddie noticed, he didn’t say anything, thankfully, just hooked his elbow in Buck’ as he yelled right back. “His name is Buck, Mama, I told you that!”

He tried to get his heart to calm down as he felt Eddie tug him to the doorway, his free hand clinging to his backpack strap for dear life, bracing himself as he walked into… 

…something that could not have been more polar opposite of his own life if it tried. 

Eddie’s house was smaller, sure, but it was homey in a way that Buck had only imagined or seen in Hallmark movies. He was all smiles as Eddie introduced him to both of his parents (he knew how important first impressions were, had had that beaten in to him from a very young age), but he found that it wasn’t fake—he was genuinely glad to be there. Even if it still threw him for a loop when Eddie’s mother had insisted on being called Helena, had shoved a tray of snacks into Eddie’s arms, and sent them to Eddie’s room to study. 

“Go on, we’ll let you know when dinner is ready. Get your studying done.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

“And leave the door open!”

“Mama!”

Buck was only mildly placated by the fact that Eddie was blushing as brightly as he was. 

Any concerns that Eddie wouldn’t be taking this seriously, or was just looking for a reason to hang out and fuck around, were quickly put to rest as Eddie pulled out his chemistry book. It was comforting to know that Eddie was just as serious about his grades as he acted, and it made things a lot easier—when Buck didn’t have to spend half of his time telling Eddie to pay attention or to focus, as he had feared, things moved at a pace he hadn’t anticipated. 

Eddie was incredibly smart. That much was obvious from the get go. Chemistry just didn’t click with him, but that was easy enough to rectify—he just had to help Eddie see things from a different angle, to focus more on the process than the end result, and “seriously Eddie, would it kill you to take a legible note for once in your life?” 

Buck had set to work on transcribing some of Eddie’s rushed notes into a legible format while Eddie continued to work on a few practice problems, and before Buck knew it several hours had gone by and they were both being called down for dinner, and… look, Buck had a live in cook for most of his life, but damn if Helena’s enchiladas didn’t blow them out of the water. 

He found himself drawn into the family dynamics easily—Eddie had introduced him to his sister, Sophia, explaining that Adriana was out for the night, and they talked, bickered, poked fun, everything that Buck had figured was out of his reach for the longest time. He spoke when he was asked questions, and let himself engage in a few conversations, but more than anything, he just sat and ate and soaked up the delicious atmosphere.

Was this what a family really felt like? He didn’t think he had ever felt like this at home, even before Maddie had graduated, even before his father had started drinking. He felt something white hot burn in his chest as the night dragged on—not jealousy, or envy, something more dangerous, want. It seemed like a cruel joke, that someone so close to him got to have it all, while he had… nothing, but as he looked over at Eddie, his head thrown back in laughter at one of his mothers jokes until Sophia flicked a piece of corn into his open mouth and he sputtered, he wouldn’t wish the reverse on even his worst enemy.  

--

The good part about Pennsylvania was that it didn’t matter what time of the year it was, it was usually cold. Cold meant long sleeves and sweaters to cover the arms, and long pants to cover the legs, especially as the sticky feeling of Summer turned to foggy breaths and dew, and Buck could breathe a little easier. 

Just a little easier, though, because when you were tugging your hoodie down over your head to cover a black eye, you couldn’t relax. Not really. 

He was usually so careful. He was usually so good about covering his bruises (hell, he was usually good at getting bruises anywhere other than his face), but the last time he had touched himself up, he had forgotten to cap the concealer and the entire tube had run dry. He was sloppy. He had been reckless and stupid and sloppy and now he was paying the price; because as confident as he would have been a semester ago about getting through the day with a shiner and no one noticing, the day now included Eddie. 

He didn’t know if he could avoid Eddie for an entire day. What was worse, he didn’t know if he wanted to.

The day had started off pretty well. He took the train to school instead of driving so Eddie wouldn’t see his car. He was barely on time to each and every class to avoid Eddie in the halls. He ignored every text that came in—though he did allow himself a grin when Eddie sent him a picture message of his Chemistry test, a big 91 circled on the front of it. He even managed to find a new place to eat his lunch, one he was sure that Eddie wouldn’t know about. 

And then everything had gone to shit. 

He had finished his History midterm early, turned it in with his head down, and walked out of the classroom. His next period was his free one, so he decided to head to the gym early, taking a quick stop in the locker room to change into a baggy, long sleeved shirt, chucking his hoodie and his backpack in a locker before getting to the gym. There was only one other person in the room, back turned to Buck as he walked in—it was as good as it could get, and he sent a silent prayer up to anyone who was listening in thanks.

It was going to be a cardio day, Buck could tell—his right wrist was a little sore, and his shoulder too, and while thankfully neither of them felt dislocated it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to try to lift weights. He could feel the tension bleed out of his shoulders as he started to stretch out his hips and legs, nearly ignoring the telltale buzz he felt at the base of his skull until it was too late. 

“Buck! There you are!” 

Buck bolted upright at the same moment as a hand clapped onto his shoulder, squeezing in the friendly way Buck had become so accustomed to—but now, instead of a familiar warmth in his stomach, it sent a bolt of pain through his body. He sucked in a gasp and jerked his body away from the pain, fists halfway up as he turned around, his body sagging when he saw Eddie standing opposite to him.

Eddie, who he had been avoiding all day, who’s multiple messages he had left on read, who now looked like he was face to face with a ghost. If he could imagine how he looked right now, he might have laughed—black eye, slumped shoulder, pale, panicked face. It was probably hilarious, even if Eddie didn’t seem to think so.

“Buck?”

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Buck, what... what happened to you? Is this why you’ve been avoiding me all day?”

The biting comment was on the tip of Buck’s tongue, to tell Eddie to fuck off, to get lost, but Eddie sounded so small and scared he couldn’t bring himself to snap. Instead, he offered a weak smile, shrugging his good shoulder. “Nothing I can’t handle. You should see the other guy, right?”

It probably was in poor taste to go for a joke, and Eddie’s dark expression only confirmed that fact, but what was Buck supposed to say? ‘Hey, no worries, my mom broke a picture frame so it was either let her get the shit beat out of her or take the heat?’ Yeah, no.

Suddenly, his face was in Eddie’s hands, and oh wow that was nice, and he had to work to keep from sighing as Eddie’s fingers went feather light over his skin.

“Buck, this wasn’t just a little love tap.” Hah, no, there was no love in it at all. “You know, I could teach you how to block a few hits. Some self defense.”

Buck laughed, humorlessly, shaking his head. “No, that’s okay. Not a lot of good there, I don’t think.” he shrugged, shaking his head, even as Eddie opened his mouth to protest.

“But I can—” 

“Stop. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Buck, I am serious. I’m really worried about you, have been all day.”

Buck had to swallow at that, his heart sinking, and he looked down as he weighed his options. Neither were good. But if one kept Eddie from worrying...

“...fine. On one condition.” Buck said, his voice a little thick as he looked back up to Eddie, who... well, he looked like he would do anything Buck asked at that moment, and wasn’t that an interesting swarm of butterflies in his stomach?

“You stop asking about how I got them.”

Eddie’s face did a funny kind of flip flop, but eventually, he nodded. “Fine. First lesson starts now.”

Buck sighed again as he thumbed the hem of his shirt, debating for only a moment before he pulled it off. The tank top he was wearing beneath didn’t hide a whole lot, but he figured Eddie had already seen one bruise, and had promised not to ask about the rest, so he didn’t think much could come from getting rid of the heavy, hot garment.

What would come of it, apparently, was Eddie gaping at him, eyes nearly bugging out of his head. Buck felt a sense of shame pool in his stomach, ready to put the shirt back on in another second—he didn’t think the bruises were so bad, but maybe—

“Buck, you’re—you’re ripped.” 

What?

“How are you not on the wrestling team with me? Or the lacrosse team, or football, or... something?”

Buck blinked for a moment before he felt blood rush to his face. Oh. Oh. Eddie wasn’t staring because he was disgusted, or horrified, but because he apparently... liked what he saw. From a sportsman perspective. That had to be it. Right. He cleared his throat, willing the pink to die down on his cheeks. “Eddie, are you gonna teach me or what?”

Eddie’s eyes snapped up, wide as dinner plates, voice an active higher as he spoke. “Right!” He cleared his throat, shaking his head as he stepped closer to Buck. “Okay, so, if someone is going to come at you from the front, if they try and throw a punch, you just move the outside of your arm to knock the arm back, and—good.” 

Buck didn’t even wait for Eddie to finish speaking, as soon as the hand was up he batted it away with perhaps a bit more force than needed, a thoroughly unimpressed look on his face. 

“Okay, but then you need to follow through with a hit when they’re open. See—” 

Eddie moved to throw a punch again, slow and painfully obvious, and Buck followed his instructions, pushing it away, and then... not doing anything. Eddie scowled, raising his hand again, and just like before, Buck knocked it away with the inside of his fore arm, trying to focus on the best point to hit to knock the hand away.

“Buck, you have to follow through. Blocking is great but you have to use the opening to hit back.”

Punch- block. Punch- block. Punch- block. Eddie started picking up the tempo, moving around Buck, 

“I’m not hitting back, Eddie.”

Yeah, right. Buck hit back, and he’d probably get beaten beyond recognition. Pass.

“I can see that, but you have to. If someone is going to try and hurt you, you have to strike whenever you’re open. One good hit and you can run like hell.”

Punch- block. Punch- block. Where exactly was he supposed to run to? The living room? The kitchen?

“No.”

Eddie gave a quicker shot—still weak, but Buck ducked, pushing the hand away from him. This was actually proving to be pretty useful.

“Look, I get not wanting to hit someone, but you just need to daze them if you’re going to get away.”

“Eddie, I don’t hit back. That’s now how this works.”

“Well why the fuck not—” 

“Because it doesn’t fucking matter!” Buck yelled, his tone taking himself by surprise, as did the heat that suddenly burned through his face. “It doesn’t matter if I land a hit or not, it doesn’t matter if I get hurt, as long as he doesn’t hurt anyone else!” 

“He?”

The words hung in the air, heavy and dark, and Buck almost swallowed his tongue when he realized what he had said. 

“Buck, who did this to you?”

“I have to get to class.”

It was too much. Buck swallowed as he turned around, abandoning his belongings in the locker room as he fled through the gym doors. He didn’t have to run far—thankfully he had his phone and wallet with him, which meant he had a train ticket—and only when he managed to throw himself between the closing doors of the Thorndale line did he manage to breathe again. 

He pulled his phone out when the train took off, shooting a quick message to Maddie, asking her to call him out for the rest of his day.

Then he turned off his phone, put his head in his hands, and started to cry.

--

When Buck came to school the next day, he had his concealer on, and as far as he was concerned, the day before had never happened. He parked in his regular area, locked the doors, and tried not to sigh too heavily when he saw Eddie waiting from him. 

He didn’t have it in him for a fight, but Eddie had both his hands up, and that was enough to keep Buck from running again. 

For now.

“Look, Buck, I won’t ask details, but.... just tell me, are you okay?” Eddie asked, his voice slow and unsure, and Buck felt a frown creeping over his face in spite of himself. 

He tilted his head as he looked Eddie over, brow furrowed. “You really care about me.” A statement, not a question, but Eddie nodded all the same. “Why?”

If the question caught Eddie off guard, he didn’t show it. Instead, he looked away, seemingly chewing over his words as he tried to answer. 

"Because you’re worth being cared about, Buck.”

Buck hummed as he considered the answer, acting like it didn’t just rock him to his very core, and sighed as he opened his arms and pulled Eddie into a hug—Eddie seemed surprised, but pleased, and Buck didn’t have to wait long before Eddie was hugging him back, so gently and mindful of Buck’s body that he thought he might start crying again.

“So, it’s not just these rugged good looks?” he mumbled into Eddie’s hair, and Eddie groaned, shaking his head. 

“Buck, please.”

“My charming personality?”

“Buck, please.”

--

Somehow, nothing changed, and everything did. 

Eddie didn’t bring up the bruises anymore, possibly because they weren’t visible anymore, but he held himself differently around Buck—instead of grand claps on the back, he tugged at Buck’s elbow, instead of a teasing elbow to the ribs, it was a playful shoulder bump—all, Buck knew, things that Eddie could do without risking aggravating an unseen injury.

Any doubt in his mind that Eddie knew what was going on was dashed almost immediately, when Eddie intentionally steered the conversation in their little friend group (which was mostly the wrestling team, who had decided beyond all reason that Buck was okay) away from family matters. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together, and Buck was sure it was at least a little obvious when you got to know him where the bruises came from, but that was why Buck had been so hesitant to get to know anyone in the first place.

What was new, though, was the hand holding. It started off as Buck being led around, but then Eddie never really let go of his hand. Buck didn’t mind it, even though he felt he should—he was more or less dying for any physical contact that didn’t hurt, an itch he didn’t even know he needed scratched until Eddie showed up. But it was still... weird.

It wasn’t until later on, as Thanksgiving break loomed around the corner, when Eddie let his hand trail over his shoulders while dropping a burrito and chips from the Qdoba off campus did Buck start connecting dots. 

Eddie was always a touchy feely guy, and it had only increased as of late.

Eddie had blushed when Buck took off his shirt—and for good reasons, apparently. 

And now, Eddie was treating him to lunch. 

They were all fine things on their own, but once was an accident, twice a coincidence, and three times, a pattern.

He swallowed his bite of burrito—the perfect order, even though he was sure Eddie had only asked him what he liked once, weeks ago—and derailed whatever train of thought Eddie had going in one fell swoop.

“...but if you look at the—” 

“Eddie, are we dating?”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A denial, maybe? Or another blush and topic change?

What he wasn’t expecting was for Eddie to nod his head, his smile a little wider, and then just continue on. 

“Anyway, as I was saying—” 

“No, hang on. We’re dating? This is like, a lunch date? You bought me lunch, because we’re on a lunch date?”

Eddie’s smile was so soft that Buck instantly felt at ease, even though he knew he was probably asking the dumbest questions of all time. “Yeah Buck, this is a lunch date. I didn’t want you to freak about it, but I knew you’d come to the conclusion eventually.”

Buck hummed as he reached over, stealing one of Eddie’s chips, chewing it thoughtfully before he rose his brow. “Well, this is a pretty nice first date, then.”

He tried not to be offended when Eddie snorted, raising his brow as he met the challenge. 

“Buck, this is at least our second or third date. Our last date was me bringing you home to meet my parents.” Eddie said with a smirk, but Buck frowned, shaking his head. 

“Wait, Eddie, that was forever ago. What was our first date then?” Buck asked, confusion written all over his face. 

Eddie actually blushed—okay, Buck was officially never getting tired of seeing that—as he looked up, humming in a way that was probably meant to be nonchalant but definitely wasn’t. “Oh, uh, well I consider our first date to be the first lunch we had. Um, the one where I made the joke about Ms. Syzmaski’s wrinkly old ass?”

Buck was honestly lucky he had swallowed before Eddie spoke, because that would have been a spittake for sure. “What the fuck about that joke made you think of that as a date?” 

Eddie was pink again and Buck had to physically bite his tongue not to goad him about it, but he was steadily getting redder as Buck waited. Finally, Eddie threw up his arms, sighing in defeat as he buried his head in his hands. 

“It was... it was the first time I made you laugh, okay? That’s why it was so nice.”

Oh, that was cute. Fuck, that was so cute. Buck could actually feel his resolve start to give way, which was unacceptable on more than one level, and he took a breath as he steadied himself. “I’m not staying.”

Eddie look like he had been punched. “What?”

“I mean it. I’m not staying. As soon as I graduate I’m getting out of this state, hell, this time zone if I can.”

“Buck—“

“I mean it, Eddie, I can’t—can’t stay here. And I like, you, I really like you, but if you’re staying in state, you have to know that I won’t. Not for anything, so if that’s a dealbreaker for you, you should just…”

His lungs ran out of his air as he forgot to breathe, but it was probably for the best, Eddie taking the moment to jump in before Buck could continue freaking out. “Buck, what makes you think I’m staying?”

Buck swallowed, his thoughts completely derailed. “What? You just moved here, why would you be leaving again?”

“The only reason we’re here this year is for my dads work. He has a year long contract, then we’d probably be moving back to Texas, but even then, who knows? No offense, but I have zero urge to stay in this snooty, Ivy-League bullshit state.”

Buck spoke slowly as his brain tried to catch up with what Eddie had said, brow wrinkling in a way that Eddie was definitely going to remember to call cute later on. “So… you’re not planning on staying. And you don’t care if I leave either.��

“No, Jesus. All I want is for you to be happy.”

It probably said a lot about how much that simple statement shocked him, but at this point in his life, he wasn’t sure anything would sit as “normal” for a long time. 

“Oh. Well, then, care to explain how we’ve apparently gone on three dates and you haven’t kissed me yet?”

Eddie lit up like a Christmas tree as he scooted forward on the bench, his eyes bright. “Are you sure you’re okay with it? I didn’t want to scare you off or anything—“

“Eddie, if you don’t kiss me right now, I swear I’ll—“

He didn’t get to finish his threat—which was mildly annoying—but the warm pressure of Eddie’s lips against his own drowned out any other objection he thought he may have.

He was almost late to class, his lips bruised in a way he absolutely loved, and he regretted absolutely nothing.

--

The day before they were due back in school from Winter Break, Buck had been planning on spending the entire day in bed, recuperating from the incessant display of familial togetherness that the holidays usually had brought. Eddie had been his one saving grace—near constant phone calls, texts, and snapchats had been the only thing keeping Buck’s temper low enough to avoid a few new bruises.

And, if the sight of Eddie wearing the simple leather corded necklace that Buck had gotten him for Christmas made his heart beat a little faster whenever he saw it, that was between him and God.

The past three months had been… alarmingly good, if Buck was being honest. If his home life had taught him anything, it was that the other shoe always dropped—so as much as he loved spending time with Eddie, as much as he loved their kisses, and rare dates, and holding hands in the hallway, as much as he honestly, truly thought he could see a life beyond high school with him, he was constantly, constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. 

Which was why, when Eddie called him at one o’clock on a Sunday, Buck let it ring a few times before he gathered himself to answer the phone.

“Hey, are you busy tonight? I want you to come over and meet everyone.” 

“What do you mean, meet everyone? I’m pretty sure all of your family knows me by now.” That much was definitely true—Buck had been spending more time at Eddies than his own whenever he could help it, and while there was always someone out on an errand or at work or doing something else, he had participated in enough dinners, family calls, and video chats that he knew more of Eddie’s family than he did his own. “What, you have another set of siblings you’re hiding away from me?”

Eddie’s resounding laugh was a little too loud, a little too tense, just enough to spike Buck’s curiosity without making him fear the worst. He agreed easily after that, asking if he needed to bring anything, and made plans for a few hours later.

When he pulled up to Eddie’s house, though, it was almost unrecognizable. There were streamers tossed through the tree in the front yard, balloons tied to nearly every horizontal surface Eddie could see, and there were enough cars parked out front that Buck had to squeeze in behind a truck and a fire hydrant (and hope that he wouldn’t get a ticket). 

As usual, Eddie met him at the door (Buck had teased him once about waiting by the window, and when Eddie blushed and didn’t deny it, Buck had gone in to full hysterical laughter), the obvious nerves he was displaying not enough to dissuade Buck from punching him in the shoulder. “Eddie, what the fuck! Is this a party? You told me not to bring anything, I could have—“

“Oh whatever, I’ll sign your name on my card, calm down.” Eddie said, like he wasn’t the bundle of nerves himself, leaning forward to press a kiss to Buck’s lips (which he accepted, of course, he wasn’t a monster even if he was annoyed). He easily succumbed to the whirlwind of introductions—aunties and uncles and people who were clearly of the Diaz family, and damn, Eddie wasn’t kidding when he told Buck he wanted him to meet everyone. Eddie’s nerves started to hitch back up as they made their way to the backyard, and Buck was about to call him out on whatever it was that was going on when Eddie beat him to the punch.

“Alright, you ready to meet the man of the hour?”

“Only if you’re ready for me to.” Buck said with a hum, smiling as Eddie’s face did some impressive expressive gymnastics. “Eddie, you’re wound like a damn spring. If you don’t want me to meet this person, or any of these people, I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, yeah?” He said, bringing his other hand up to link with Eddie’s as well.

Eddie, to his credit, looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off of his chest, and he beamed as he leaned in to kiss Buck agin. “God, you’re perfect. Have I ever told you that? Well, probably not enough, but it will have to wait, because…” Eddie pushed through the back door and towed Buck along with him, where a circle of chairs were set up around a table stacked high with drinks, snacks, party games, and in the middle of it all— 

“…because here’s the birthday boy!”

—was a high chair, fully equipped with a tray table, a soppy cup, and a baby. 

A baby. 

Buck felt every nerve, every tense minute, every rational thought melt in his body and turn into a warm puddle of goo at the very core of his soul, and his face must have reflected that fact because Buck was vaguely aware of two of Eddie’s sisters laughing at him, but who cared there was a baby and it was the most adorable, pudgy, perfect baby Buck had ever seen. 

The baby quickly let out a high pitched squeal as his attention landed on Eddie, smacking his hands against the table in front of him, and Buck could not be held accountable for the noise that he made when Eddie swooped forward and undid the tray, pulling him out of the high chair easily, tucking him into an arm like he was a seasoned pro.

“Buck, this is Chris.”

And now Eddie was walking toward him with the baby, the baby who’s name was Chris, and Buck only waited for the barest hint of a confirmation from Eddie before he moved closer, cooing toward the excited little bean in Eddie’s arms. 

“Today is Chris’ first birthday.”

Which, that made sense, he was still so small and pudgy but still so energetic, and Buck nodded along with the rapid fire babbling as he squeezed Chris’ little foot playfully, feeling more proud of anything at the peal of laughter Chris let out at that.

“Chris is my son.”

Well, that made sense, Chris had the same complexion as Buck did, and he was just as quick to smile, and even though his hair was lighter in color it was still thick and wavy, and—

Wait. 

His brain caught up with his ears and yanked him out of his baby haze as he looked back up to Eddie, and oh, yeah, there was that nervousness that Buck had felt radiating off of him all afternoon. It seemed to echo around the yard, where there was conversation and laughter just a moment ago, everyone seemed quieter now, hushed, or maybe that was just the rushing in Buck’s ears. Things started fitting into place as Buck thought about it—how he had met all of Eddie’s immediate family, but not at the same time, probably because someone had probably taken Chris out whenever Buck came over. How Eddie so obviously loved his family, but still got a little awkward talking about them at times. Why Eddie had only rarely badgered him about going out after school, because he was spending most of the time himself with his son.

“This is your baby.”

“Yes.”

Oh. 

“You’re his father.”

“Yeah.”

Oh.

“Eddie, he’s beautiful.” 

Eddie sagged like a puppet with its strings cut, the tension bleeding out of his body, and the smile he shot to Buck was more open and honest than he had ever seen before. He could feel a collective sigh breathed around him as the voices picked back up, apparently approving of Buck’s reaction. “He really is, isn’t he? When he was born last year, his mom wanted to give him up, but… I couldn’t even imagine that. My parents stepped up and really helped me out, we took him home, and it was just… perfect. Like it was meant to be.”

Buck looked up with a smile as Eddie spoke, utterly entrapped in how soft he looked as he held his son, his voice low and slow as to not startle the curious kid safe in his arms. “When my dad took a contract up here, I thought it would be the perfect chance to start over, you know? I wouldn’t give Chris up for anything, but I could tell teachers were going easier on me, boosting my grades, and I didn’t know if it was pity or… whatever. This was the chance for me to prove I could do it. You, uh, you’re the only one outside of my family who even knows.” Eddie said, and Buck had to physically bite his tongue to prevent himself from gushing.

“He’s perfect, Eds. You’re perfect. I’m… I’m really honored you told me.” Buck said easily, leaning forward for another kiss, mindful of the giggling body between them. “But if you think I’m going to let you forget that you told me not to bring anything to your baby sons first birthday, you have another thing coming, I can’t believe you didn’t let me get a gift or something—no, seriously!“

Eddie let out a groan as he leaned forward into Buck’s bickering, the sudden lull in the party long since forgotten as the night carried on.

--

The other shoe always dropped, though, and Buck 100% blamed himself for not seeing it coming. Hell, he 100% blamed himself for letting it happen. He had become complacent, he had let his guard down, Eddie had wormed his way into Buck’s heart and showed him how good things could be, and Buck had dared to believe him. 

Buck had had hope, as stupid as it was, and now, here he was, standing at Eddie’s door, knocking at the wooden frame, begging, pleading for him to open the door—he didn’t realize how much he loved Eddie always meeting him at the threshold until it didn’t happen, until he wasn’t sure if Eddie was going to open the door at all, until he didn’t know what else he could do.

As it was, Eddie wasn’t the one who opened the door. It was Helena, who he had just spent the day with, and the sound she had made when Buck came into view was unholy. 

The day had started off so well, too—Eddie and Buck had both been accepted to Texas A&M (while Buck’s pre-acceptance letter had come almost a month ago, he still waited until Eddie received his to even open the envelope), and Eddie’s parents had been so thrilled with him—with both of them—that they had insisted on treating everyone to breakfast before cheering Eddie on at what was likely the last wrestling match of the season (because as great as Eddie was, the team as a whole sucked). 

Helena had forced him into a “Team Diaz” shirt, and Buck looked at himself probably a little too long in the mirror, tracing the name over his chest—if anyone noticed, no one said anything, though the smile on Helena’s face told Buck all he needed to know. Eddie, on the other hand, had absolutely lit up when he saw them all in the stands, his gaze lingering a little too long on the word Diaz splayed across Buck’s chest, and the look he gave Buck when they locked eyes again was nothing short of sinful (Buck was glad that he had been put on Chris duty—holding a baby was probably the only way he was able to distract himself from the sight of Eddie in spandex).

So, it didn’t come to a huge surprise when Helena opened the door and let out a sound that would have pushed him over the edge, had Buck not already been crying. 

Well… halfway crying. He was only really tearing up in one eye, the other was too swollen to do anything more than squint. 

His front was covered in blood, the “Team Diaz” stained red, his lip split and swollen and his cheek covered in bruises. It was probably for the best that his left eye was swollen shut, because blood was leaking around it from a split in his eyebrow, so he probably wouldn’t have been able to see anyway. Beyond the lip and the eye, though, the biggest concern was his nose—he didn’t think it was broken, but it was still sluggishly bleeding, and it just wouldn’t stop. 

Helena pulled him into the house and immediately started barking orders (“Adriana, bring Christopher to the nursery and put him in his playpen. Sophia, tell Edmundo to get home right now, his Buck has been hurt. Ramon, give me the first aid kit.”), steering Buck easily to the back yard as the rest of the family scurried around.

By the time Eddie got home, Buck had been mostly cleaned up—or, at least, his nose had stopped bleeding long enough to mop up most of the blood on his face, and Helena had taped the gash on his brow closed with butterfly bandages, and had a cold compress pressed against his face. Eddie looked wild, his eyes wide and face unforgiving as he kneeled next to Buck, and if Buck had any tears left in his body he probably would have started crying again as Eddie cupped the uninjured side of his face. 

Buck knew that Eddie was trying to find words, but he also knew there were a hundred wrong things to say at that moment, so he took the step for both of them.

“My dad found out about us.” There was no sense in sugar coating it, no sense in leaving the bandaid on too long, he just had to rip it off so they could move on. “Apparently he didn’t much like the idea of his son not carrying on the family name, he… didn’t take it well.” 

Eddie let out a sound that could only be described as someone breaking, and Buck blindly reached for his hand, feeling something burn through his chest, deciding then and there that he wouldn’t let another ounce of his father hurt Eddie the way it had hurt him. “But you were right. One block, one hit, all I needed to get away.” His tone had soured into something dark and sticky, good eye burning as he remembered Eddie’s little self defense lesson, all those months ago. He could tell the moment that Eddie’s mind reached the same conclusion, and he scrambled to look at Buck’s hands—there were some bruising around his right knuckles, but that was it. 

One punch, that was all he needed. 

One punch, and just like that, he had left everything behind—his phone, his car, his father bleeding from what Buck could only hope was a broken nose, coughing and sputtering on the entryway floor. The only thing he had on him was his wallet and his hoodie, and even the latter was tossed into the trashcan as he got off the train, too thoroughly wet with blood to be of any good at keeping him warm.

Instinctively, he had gotten off the train and trusted his feet to take him somewhere he knew he would be safe. He had finally realized that that place would never be with his family, would never be his house. His house would never be his home.

“Eddie…” Buck started, his voice thick with emotion. “Eddie, I… I don’t want to go back. I never want to see them, ever again. I’ll call up Maddie, I’ll… I’ll do something, but I can’t go back there, ever.”

Eddie looked like his heart was breaking; but before he could open his mouth and tell Buck off for considering going anywhere else, Helena spoke again.

“You will do no such thing.”

Her voice soft but hard as steel, leaving no room for argument, and Buck looked at her with pleading eyes (well, eye) as she shook her head. 

“You will not be going back there. I have half a mind to drive over there right now and—no. I will do everything I can to make sure you never have to see them again.”

Buck could feel himself sag in relief, a breath he didn’t know he had been holding coming out ragged and raw, even as Helena continued.

“And Buck, I don’t know Maddie, and I’m sure she would be happy to help you out however she could, but. I would never let another Diaz out onto the street. Never in my life.” She said, and Buck had to swallow when he realized who she was talking about. 

They considered him a Diaz?

“So if you would really be happier, or safer, we can get in the car and I’ll bring you to your sister tonight, but it’s just a few months until you and Edmundo leave for college anyway, and—“

“Please stay. Please. God, Buck, please, at least stay with us until you heal up a little. Please.” Eddie had apparently had enough of his mothers talking in circles, his voice shaking as he spoke, and Buck’s shock must have shown on his face because Eddie looked like he was going to start crying again.

They really considered him a Diaz.

He wanted to question it, to object, to do anything to prevent himself from being in their hair, but just like it was the first time they had lunch together, Eddie had worked his way too far past Buck’s defenses, and apparently, he had brought his whole family with him.

Buck barely had to nod before Eddie had him wrapped up in his arms, tight, and Buck returned the favor easily, seamlessly, his head buried in Eddie’s neck like he belonged there. 

The thought resonated as Helena went back inside, letting the two of them have their moment; though, just a moment, announcing that it would be a lovely night to have dinner outside on the patio. It bounced around his head as Eddie kissed his cheek when they passed each other with plates and glasses, setting the table beneath the string lights in the yard, the spot on his cheek tingling long after the contact had broken. It took root when Buck found himself laughing, sitting easier in his own skin than he had ever done before as Eddie tried to justify whatever foolish thing he had done in Ramon’s story, failing miserably, his hand laced tightly with Buck’s beneath the table.

Maybe this was where he belonged.

For the first time in years, Buck saw something that was worth holding on for, that was worth keeping and protecting and letting grow.

For the first time, he had hope.

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Five: The One with the Tour

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2476

    Scott Harvey was a manipulative man. He knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted and was never one to take no for an answer. He'd do whatever it took to ensure he had people wrapped around his finger so that he could snap his fingers and have what he desired in his hands at a moment’s notice. And Lily fell for that. She became the next in a long line of women who were eating out of the palm of his hand, all because he promised her the world. He promised her security, happiness, and peace. Instead, she got fear, chaos, and emotional trauma. The exact thing she was terrified of. He used her anxiety against her, used the fragility of her mind to keep her trapped in his web like a fly.

She was sort of thankful for Mary. she was a sweet woman, the two got along and were pretty amicable. Lily knew if she needed anything, Mary would help out, and vice versa. Because you can have a messy marriage, but keep a healthy relationship with the wrecking ball that destroyed the thin wall that still stood. Lily was grateful for Mary because she was able to open the blonde’s eyes to see what was going on. The web of lies that Scott had caught Lily in, like a spider, finding its next meal.

And every time she saw him, saw that sideways smile and forehead creases, all of the emotions he caused caught up to Lily in a ball, and took up camp in the middle of her throat, rendering her speechless for the majority of their brief conversations. Which is where we pick up, in the hallway of Scott and Mary's apartment building, Scott holding his daughter, Leila, in his arms. something Lily didn't believe she had ever seen her ex do with their son.

"Traffic was insane...sorry I'm a little late." Lily mumbled, her broken eyes darting everywhere, in an attempt to keep them from making contact with the deep-set hazel of Scott’s iris'.

"Don't apologize. I'll never complain about spending a bit longer with Hunter." Scott said, his voice still as soft as a marshmallow. Lily couldn't help but wince ever so gently as it floated into her ears, sending a rush of adrenaline and nerves to her heart, picking up its pace.

"Mom!" a young boy’s voice called before bursting past the older man, almost knocking down his mother, gripping onto her waist.

"Hey kiddo," Lily smiled, hand running through the blonde locks atop of her son’s head, smiling gently as he hid his face into her side. turning her attention back to Scott, she gave a weak smile, "Thanks for letting me pick him up early. my parents are coming down for dinner."

“No problem. Say hi to Abel and Alicia for me," Scott smiled, causing a shiver to run down Lily's spine. The idea of saying that Scott said hi made Lily sick to her stomach. Her parents despised the father of their grandson, for good reason. As far as the Osborne parents were concerned, Scott was a dead man, "See ya, buddy."

Saying a quick goodbye, Lily and Hunter found themselves back in the car as quickly as the conversation that just happened. Hunter was quiet at first, waiting for Lily to regain her composure for the second time that day. Her forehead rested on the leather of her steering wheel, deep breaths escaping her lips as her fingers wrapped around the wheel. A few moments later, Lily relaxed back into her seat, turning on the car.

"So Grandma and Grandpa are coming over?" Hunter asked, breaking the comfortable silence the mother and son had going on, "When did you find out?"

Lily tried her best to repress the smile the threatened to explode onto her face. She loved giving Hunter surprises. With everything the boy has been through, being able to see his face light up when he's faced with something unexpected was the only high she'd ever need. It was rare to see such extreme emotion out of Hunter, and let alone something as raw as the joy he gets with surprises. And this one that she had planned, it would go down in history. He would be talking about it for ages to come, for the rest of his life even. That's what Lily wanted, for him to create perfect childhood memories he'd be able to tell his kids in the future. To gather them up around the table at Christmas and pass stories around about how he and Grandma spent a day with Earth’s mightiest heroes and got to see where they worked. That was the goal of a parent, to make their child's days as memorable as they could.

"Oh the other day they mentioned it, but nothing was ever confirmed. I got a text this morning from Grandma about it," Lily hummed nonchalantly as she pulled out of the Brooklyn apartment complex, and turned onto the busy roads.

Connecting his phone to the Apple car play that came with the vehicle, Hunter spoke again, "That'll be nice. I know you miss seeing them sometimes. Long Island is so far away from Manhattan, why did you move away?"

Lily's smile grew wide, the dimple in her cheek creating a cavern of happiness at her son’s words. He was as intuitive as they come, and as observant as all get out. Truly, Lily believed herself to be one of the luckiest mothers in the world to be blessed with an angel-like Hunter. He was pure of heart and as sharp as a whip. He always picked up on Lily's microaggressions, and all of the small mannerisms she showed while in certain moods. She was never sure how he became as smart as he did, but doctors insisted it was because of her intelligence. That it carried on down to her son, and how he reflected her as a child. And Lily lived a loving and wonderful childhood, so hopefully, that too would relay to her son.

Reaching over to ruffle his hair, Lily let out a gentle sigh, "Well Hunter, I moved out here to the city with Auntie Gen when I graduated high school. I got into Columbia University, which was my dream school. So I came out here to study, while Aunt Gen was over in NYU, studying business. I moved out here for the opportunity, and I'm glad I did because you were the result."

Hunter let out a small noise as he acknowledged the story that his mother just shared while scanning Spotify for the best playlist. The two loved the eighties and nineties, so he settled on a premade group of songs from that era. The bass boomed throughout the car as the two began to belt out the lyrics to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. It was moments like these when Lily felt most content. Just her and Hunter, living their best lives together as they sang to oldies but goodies. Being able to see his eyes light up whenever they passed a cool-looking building or when they saw a cute dog or one that looked like Joey. Her favourite moment though, the cream of the crop is when he sings. Though not a professional, he always looked so at ease while letting his voice dance through the car.

About twenty minutes into the drive, he caught on though, "This isn't the way home. Where are we going?" his voice rang, turning down the volume of the Lionel Richie.

She had to think quickly. If he noticed the slightest of hesitation in Lily's speech, the surprise would be blown, and he wouldn't be surprised when they didn't stop at home. So, she did what she thought would throw him off the most, "We've gotta hit a grocery store on the way home. Aunt Gen needs something for the cafe and this is the only place that sells it near here. Is that okay kiddo?"

Nodding, he turned the music back up. This meant that he believed what she said. If he didn't, he'd press on further. Interrogating Lily until he got the truth out of her. He would make a hell of a lawyer in the future, due to the strange ability he had of getting into people’s minds. He was like Scott in that way, but different at the same time. He never used it to manipulate, or use people, but to find out the truth. Get the answers. learn. That was Hunter’s goal, not to make people the puppets in his little game. he was curious, that was all.

Shortly after the small conversation between the two introverts, Lily took the turn that would lead them straight to the compound. Her aged eyes glanced towards the world that sat in her passenger seat. He hadn't noticed yet, and Lily was thankful. It would be more exhilarating if he didn't realize until they went up to the door. Knocking on the door and having someone like Captain America answer? Now that was something that Lily would love to witness. To see her son's heart swell at the sight of one of his heroes answering the door. She could only imagine what he would say, and couldn't seem to fathom how he would react.

Pulling into the parking lot, Lily stopped the car and turned it off, capturing Hunters’ attention. He sat up in his seat and glanced out the window, a confused yet intrigued look masking his typical stoic facial expression. Stepping out of the car, Lily gestured with her left hand to follow her up towards the doors. Hesitantly, Hunter followed along, his shoes making gentle noises on the rocks and pebbles below his feet.

"Where are we?" he questioned, hand slipping into the fragile one of his mothers, "and why are your hands always so cold?"

Lily remained silent, simply walking up the stairs of the compound. Her neck craned to look down at the bewildered boy, who couldn't help but swivel his head around in an attempt to recognize his surroundings. But the only time he would have ever seen this place was maybe in pictures, so Lily was sure that she had gotten the surprise in the bag. That she was able to dupe the boy that could rarely ever be surprised. Now that would be an accomplishment.

Lily's free hand reached up and knocked on the grey doors in front of them, pursing and nibbling on her lips in an attempt to hide the mischievous and prideful grin that threatened to give away the present. She had been looking forward to this moment the entire car ride, hardly being able to contain the excitement that rushed through her veins at the idea of her son’s wildest dreams coming true. Well, his wildest dream would be to become an Avenger or any sort of superhero. But a mother could only do so much.

Voices rang out behind the door before it was swung open to reveal Sam Wilson. The man who had originally offered to take the eleven-year-old boy on a tour of the place, "Lily! you made it, was starting to get worried you two would bail on us," he teased, chocolate brown eyes readjusting to look down at the blonde boy beside Lily, "Hey Hunter, nice to see you again."

Her son’s hand had slipped out of her own, which caught Lily's attention. she looked down at him and felt her heart swell about a million times bigger than it already was. His smile reached ear to ear, cheeks growing to a rosy red and his pupils dilated to eleven. He seemed frozen, stuck to his one position on the porch step of the Avengers compound. Her frail hand tapped the boy on the back, urging him to respond and walk into the building.

"He's a tad awestruck it seems," Lily chuckled, taking his small hand into her own and walking past the threshold of the home, "It took me a bit to find this place."

"Privacy is key for us," a voice rang out from a bit away. Lily's eyes averted towards the sound and she spotted Captain America. The Captain America. Steve Rogers. Every girl’s dream man. He was even more gorgeous in person, and Lily couldn't help but feel choked up as she looked at him. The way his chest looked as though it was going to burst through the fabric of his shirt, or how she could see his sky blue eyes from eight meters away, "Glad you guys could make it. Picked a perfect day, everyone’s around."

"Why don't I take Hunter down through the compound so he can get the full tour," Sam grinned down at the beaming boy, "Will you be joining us, Ms. Osborne?"

Oh no. If she went, her mind wouldn't be able to handle it. The idea of walking around with her son in a place like this was already overwhelming. Feeling as though she should be able to do more to give him the luxury life he so badly deserved. Making him feel as though he was the king of the world. Not to mention, the entire place itself was a lot to take in. And with her anxiety already running high today, it would be better for Lily's mind and heart to wait out in the car or something. Plus, Hunter was with the Falcon, she had no worries.

"It's okay, you two go have fun, I'll wait in the car," Lily said, a tight smile pulling at the sides of her lips as she ran a thumb across her son’s chin, nodding for him to follow the superhero. And as if he was in a trance, Hunter followed Sam like a zombie, or may a dog following a treat. Either would work in this scenario.

"Oh no don't go wait in your car, come sit with us. I'm sure Bucky wouldn't mind seeing you again after your run-in yesterday," Steve smiled, making Lily's knees feel like they had miraculously turned into jello, "He's making blueberry pancakes for a part of the team."

Lily's mouth ran dry. Blueberry pancakes. Just like the ones she had gotten the day prior. The ones he had asked her about. Her cheeks grew hot as a magenta colour blush forced itself onto them, giving away the embarrassment and intrigue she had. It couldn't have been anything. He was just making blueberry pancakes. That's normal. It was an average thing for people to do. Especially when you've got nothing else to do. right?

"He knew you may have been coming, that's why he made them." Steve whispered as he offered his arm for Lily, beginning to lead her towards the kitchen.

So he did make them on purpose.

[asfaltics]

and yet we went on reading

  Flim, sb. Obs. Sc[otch]. A whim; an illusion.       1   in the manufactory of these flimsy things       2 had hung a basket of fodder underneath for these flimsy things       3                                                 Poor indeed are their prospects of continued protection, if they rest upon these flimsy things alone.       4   will you never learn to choose good, useful, lasting articles, instead of these flimsy things that do good to no one, and that a breath       5 took hold of these flimsy things, Oh!       6 the discomfort, the positive misery of these flimsy things       7   wretchedly printed on bad paper, with few or no literary expenses, these flimsy things drag on       8 “These flimsy things don’t last long, they soon break,” said he. “Of course they do!” declared Madame Guibal, with an air of indifference. “I’m tired of having mine mended.”       9 In all her looks the words we see, These flimsy things are not for me And I with them do not agree.       10   of these flimsy things       11       the ice floes ran in under and cut out these flimsy things.       12                         about 12 inch in being evident that these flimsy things are depth, which projects over the top of the difficult       13                           He knew “Well, it’s a good deal warmer than when to leave a man unhindered and to these flimsy things” he said, lifting the       14 attempt to hit some of these flimsy things, you will put your screwdriver through them.       15 You undertake to fix some of these flimsy things and you put a screw driver into them and they go to pieces.       16   You undertake to fix some of these flimsy things and you put a it in the same condition although I know       17                                                                         Lucy gave her skirts a toss “I am getting tired of these flimsy things, and am trying to wear them out”       18 “I must get some more,” he said, “stronger than these flimsy things.”       19   First of all, I know now what it means to travel “light.” These flimsy things       20 These letters, these unintelligible flowers, these bits of lace and of paper, what are they? Around these flimsy things what is there left ?   And yet we went on reading. But something strange is growing gradually greater...       21 “Why, if I put these flimsy things on now they’d be in holes before I ...”                                                                                     Thorough Young Lady enters. Thorough Young Lady — “Good morning... I’d like a dozen”       22   They had seen it as a whim, Agnes knew; a flimsy, floating thing which scientists might examine under a microscope. But if that were what it was she was full of them.       23  

sources (all but the last pre-1923)

1 Joseph Wright (1855-1930), The English dialect dictionary (London, 1898) vol. 2 : 405 2 OCR cross-column misread (on forged bank notes, and banks), at The Black Dwarf (“A London weekly publication, edited, printed, and published by T.J. Wooler”; January 13, 1819) : columns 21-22 “The Black Dwarf (1817–1824) was a satirical radical journal... published by Thomas Jonathan Wooler, starting in January 1817 as an eight-page newspaper, then later becoming a 32-page pamphlet. It was priced at 4d a week until the Six Acts brought in by the Government in 1819 to suppress radical unrest forced a price increase to 6d. In 1819 it was selling in issues of roughly 12,000 to working people such as James Wilson at a time when the reputable upper-middle class journal Blackwood’s Magazine sold in issues of roughly 4,000 copies.” wikipedia on Thomas Jonathan Wooler (1786-1853), also see wikipedia 3 OCR cross-column misread, at “Mrs. Perewinkle’s Visit to Boston,” by “Muhitable Holyoke,” in Frank Leslie’s New Family Magazine 3:2 (August 1858) : 161-167 (162) 4 ex The Chronicle (“An insurance journal”) 10:18 (October 31, 1872) : 274 on the mismanagement of The Globe Mutual Life Insurance Company under Frederick A. Freeman, its president, and/or other members of the Freeman family (including Pliny Freeman). 5 ex Out of the world, by M. Healy vol. 2 (of 3; London, 1875) : 27 asides — this would be Mary Healy Bigot (1843-1936), daughter of the painter George P. A Healy (1813-94 *) A brief entry on Mary Healy is found at A Database of Victorian Fiction, 1837-1901; rather more, including an extensive list of her publications (journalism, fiction, translations, &c.) is found at her French wikipedia page — “Mary Healy utilisa le pseudonyme de Jeanne Mairet, mais aussi celui de « Madame Charles Bigot » et de « Mary Healy-Bigot ». On trouve des écrits non seulement publiés en français (souvent par Paul Ollendorff), mais aussi en anglais et en allemand. Elle produisit aussi de nombreuses traductions avec parfois l'aide de sa soeur Edith Healy.” in his autobiography is to be found the reason he (and later his daughter after the death of her husband Charles Bigot (1840-93 *)) would move to Chicago — George P. A. Healy, his Reminiscences of a Portrait Painter (Chicago, 1894) : 57 6 ex Alex(ander). Mackenzie, The Life and Speeches of Hon. George Brown (Toronto, 1882), in Chapter 19, The reform convention of 1867. Resolution of thanks to Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown’s reply : 113 7 ex correspondence to the editor (on the subject of “new restrictions in dress”), by “Freedom,” in The Meteor (“Ed. by members of Rugby School”) 175 (May 18, 1882) : 60 8 ex John Bull’s Neighbor in Her True Light : Being an Answer to some recent French criticisms. By a “Brutal Saxon.” Veluti in Speculum. (Third edition. London, 1884), in Chapter 11, The French Press: its Vanity—Le Temps and London Telegraph contrasted—Des Debats—Le Figaro—Le Clairon—Press Laws—Fear of Actions for Libel—Want of Freedom : 87 9 ex conversation about a fan, in Émile Zola (1840-1902 *), The Ladies’ Paradise : A Realistic Novel (London, 1886) : 74 aside — The novel is set in the world of the department store... (wikipedia) 10 “The Village Wedding,” in Poems by Chas. F(rederick). Forshaw, LL.D. (Bradford, 1889) : 28-33 (30) 11 from Act 2, Scene 4 of John Lesslie Hall (1856-1928) his Judas : A Drama in Five Acts (Williamsburg, Virginia; 1894) : 73 aside — “also known as J. Lesslie Hall, was an American literary scholar and poet known for his translation of Beowulf” (wikipedia); (some) papers at the College of William and Mary 12 ex “He saved others” (from Brotherhood Star), at Herald and Presbyter (“A Presbyterian family paper”) 68:46 (Cincinnati and St. Louis, November 17, 1897) : 15 in full — “When ice was running in the North River at New York, a ferryboat was crushed in, under the water line. An employe was sent down to stop the leak, or hold it until the boat could be run into the slip. Bedding, clothing and anything available were passed to him, but the ice floes ran in under and cut out these flimsy things. The boat reached the dock. Passengers were all hastened ashore. The boat was raised up by chains, so that the break was above the water, but the man did not come up on deck. They hastened below and found a bruised body of an unconscious man, pressed close against the opening. Careful nursing brought back life, but broken health and a disfigured body were his. ‘Even Christ pleased not himself.’” 13 OCR cross-column misread at J. B. Fulton, “Faulty Concrete Construction,” in Fireproof 3:6 (December 1903) : 31-33 (32) 14 ex OCR cross-column misread, at Francis Prevost (H. F. P. Battersby, 1862-1949 *), “The Siege of Sar,” in Ainslee’s (“A magazine of clever fiction”) vol. 12 (January 1904) : 1-44 (22) 15 ex Arthur H. Elliott, “The Gas Range in the Kitchen” In Light, Heat and Power 5:12 (February 1906) : 942-946 (944) self-described as “A monthly magazine devoted to the fields of illumination, and also combustion for producing heat and power, wherein the elements employed are natural, artificial, acetylene, gasolene, or petroleum gases.” 16 ex “The Gas Range in the Kitchen," in report of Elliott paper, in The Metal Worker, Plumber and Steam Fitter (March 3, 1906) : 52 17 same as no.s 14 and 15 above, but OCR cross-column misread, at Arthur H. Elliott, “The Gas Range in the Kitchen,” Progressive Age (Gas-Electricity-Water), 24:4 (February 15, 1906) : 96-99 (97) 97 Paper delivered at the First Annual Convention of the National Commercial Gas Association, held at the Cadillac Hotel, New York City, January 24th and 25th, 1906. 18 ex Mrs. Mary Dudeney. All Times Pass Over (London, 1909) : 75 (snippet view only, but entire at hathitrust) aside — little is found, biographically; author of poems, stories, even songs as Mary Du Deney (BL catalogue); are these of the same Mary? — “A novelty appeared in Judge Allen’s court in the shape of a woman, Mrs. Mary du Deney, who sought solace and mental refreshment in a book while her fate was being decided in a divorce proceeding. After reciting the grounds upon which she sought the divorce, the lady was lost to the world until the Judge cut the knot and she again felt the thrill of single blessedness.” (Los Angeles Herald (23 December 1900) : here); and   ◾ “...Old Lady Was Swaying, Fatal Collision with Cyclist At Bridgwater. Returning a verdict of Accidental Death at the inquest on Thursday on Mrg. Mary Du Deney. aged 85, of 2. Holmes Buildings. St. Mary-street, Bridgwater, who died in the hospital on Tuesday...” (Taunton Courier, and Western Advertiser (20 September 1947) : here) 19 ex William Caine (1873-1925 *), The Devil in Solution, (nicely) Illustrated by George Morrow (London, 1911) : 68 (snippet view only, but opens to same page at hathitrust 20 from this longer passage — “First of all, I know now what it means to travel ‘light.’ These flimsy things which the Japanese make are wonderfully serviceable. For instance, I purchased a silk Japanese raincoat which sheds rain perfectly, and yet when not in use I carry it in the pocket of my light overcoat.” ex “Japanese Milling, and Weather,” in Rosenbaum Review 2:39 (Chicago; September 15, 1917) : 8-10 asides — devoted to grain trade; at some point title changes to The Round-Up; published by the J. Rosenbaum Grain Company; this would be Joseph Rosenbaum (1838-1919), whose interesting life is sketched by Arba Nelson Waterman, in “Historical Review of Chicago and Cook County and Selected Biography," found here   ◾ perhaps more interesting is the editor of Rosenbaum Review (and its successor Round-Up), J. Ralph Pickell (1881-1939? *).   ◾ see, for example — “Senate Asks Jardine of Chicago ‘College’” ¶ Secretary Jarine was asked Friday, June 25, by the Senate to explain his connection with the Roundup College of Scientific Price Forecasting of Chicago. ¶ A resolution making the request was offered by Senator Caraway (Dem. Ark.), and adopted. Caraway said the secretary had accepted appoitment as a member of the faculty of the college to teach students “how to speculate and get around the rules of the grain futures act which he administers.” ¶ The resolution asked the Secretary to state whether his information on grain futures markets was obtained as a result of his official connection with the department of agriculture, and what compensation he has received from the college. ¶ The Roundup College school for price broadcasting [sic, should be “forecasting” ?] was held at the Congress Hotel four weeks ago. Secretary Jardine was announced in publicity as the principal speaker. The school is run by J. Ralph Pickell, listed in the telephone book with offices at 1848 West Washington Boulevard and 328 Ashland Boulevard. It is said, however, that the offices have moved to Western Springs, Ill., near Chicago. ¶ Pickell at the time the school was held, said about 500 students would be in attendance. Each student, he said would pay $50 for the course. ex The Illinois Agricultural Association Record (July 1, 1926) : 3 21 ex chapter 23 (the last) in Henri Barbusse (1873-1935 *), Light (Fitzwater Wray, trans.; 1919) : 301 several scans of the same at hathitrust 22 ex Fashions for Men (this passage) and The Swan (in one volume, subtitled Two Plays by Franz Molnar (both comedies in three acts; English texts by Benjamin Glazer); (Liveright, 1922) : 117 Ferenc Molnár (1878-1952), at wikipedia 23 ex Rachel Cusk, Saving Agnes (1993; Picador 1995) : 2

—

subject to change, corrections, &c.  

[ryqoshay]

OTP Ask Meme (Impatient Edition) YuuAyuSetsu

And yet again, I know the point of these things is to wait for followers to Ask questions from the list, but reading though this one got me thinking too much. About all of my flagships. And I wanted to answer all of the questions. And not wait for a handful to maybe be asked.

So again, credit again goes to @lonelypond​ for this version coming across my dash. Reblog that version if you want to do this thing correctly.

Also, just because I’ve already answered these here, I’ve expanded on some for various reasons and left others short if I believe the reasons are obvious. So if you still want to do the whole interactive thing, you can still ask for clarification or whatever.

And finally, there will be spoilers ahead for Tri-Arame, both for scenes I’ve written and posted, as well as some that remain in my Notes and WIP Warehouse. I’ll try to remember to link to the chapters mentioned.

1. Who wakes up first?

Ayumu. The comfort of sleeping next to or between her girlfriends has caused her internal clock to be uncanny in its accuracy, such that she no longer needs an alarm, as depicted in Early and Bright. Yuu doesn’t need an alarm either, as if the smell of cooking breakfast or brewing coffee isn’t enough to wake her, Ayumu will do so eventually. Setsuna will wake up sometime after Ayumu and before Yuu.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Yuu is always happy to spend a little longer in bed, if for no other reason than to cuddle with whoever is there with her.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

One could argue Setsuna, but that would primarily be because Ayumu is taking her time enjoying styling her hair.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Probably watch anime.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

Ayumu, especially if she is comfortable and warm in between Setuna and Yuu. Yuu might fall asleep depending on the genre of movie.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

Depends on the night’s sleeping arrangement, though more likely Yuu or Ayumu.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Yuu intentionally. Setsuna less intentionally as she honestly thinks quoting some anime or manga line is cool; neither Yuu nor Ayumu are willing to dissuade her as they find it adorable.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

Yuu and Setsuna like to make just about anything into a friendly competition. As of Betting For Play, they start including little requests winner gets to make of the loser. Ayumu joins the fun from time to time but is nowhere near as competitive as the other two.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Setsuna, if she is focused on talking about anime/manga/idols/etc with Yuu or Ayumu.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Yuu

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Setsuna likes her doujin collection organized properly so she can quickly find her favorites when she wants to reread them again.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Yuu. I can see Setsuna doing so after she is more comfortable with her girlfriends.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Setsuna

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Setsuna, but only if Ayumu and/or Yuu are passengers with her; her desire to protect those she loves kicks in. If she is alone in the car, she might grumble a bit but it won't ruin her day.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Ayumu, and possibly Setsuna. We've seen barefoot sleeping Yuu in canon.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Ayumu

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Ayumu

18. Who gets the window seat?

Probably Setsua. Then Yuu and Ayumu get to enjoy watching her excitement from the view.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Yuu intentionally. Setsuna unintentionally.

20. What do they argue about the most?

Less an argument, more a heartfelt disagreement, but they all maintain a concern about doing their fair share or that they’re somehow holding the other back or whatever. The other two then have to reassure them they’re doing fine.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Setsuna. Ayumu to a lesser degree.

22. Who texts more often?

Yuu and Setsuna

23. Who is better with kids?

Setsuna is best at keeping kids entertained and happy, with a story or a song or other sort of performance. Ayumu is best at tending to the kids’ needs, like feeding and calming them down when they’re upset or applying first aid. This isn’t all to say Yuu is bad with kids, just that the other two are better.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Ayumu, by far and away. Yuu is capable of the stereotypical bachelor level of cooking. Setsuna is prone to extreme experimentation, but if supervised by someone like Ayumu, she is capable of producing something edible.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Setsuna.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Possibly Setsuna

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Either Yuu or Setsuna

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Yuu, though she would be quite apologetic about if it woke anyone up.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

All of them.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

Ayumu and Yuu are fond of doing them together. Setsuna is happy to take one of their places as she falls into the routines of the other two.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

I would say Yuu for idols, but I believe Setsuna matches or possibly exceeds her. Setsuna for anime and manga and doujin, in addition to idols of course. Ayumu initially just for Yuu, but then later for both Yuu and Setsuna. For food? Yuu and Ayumu have a canon fondness for Kope Pan and I imagine they pull Setuna into this desire over time.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Ayumu

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

They each get different flavors with the express intent of trying some of the others. Not sure about favorite flavors yet.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

Absolutely. Ayumu prefers peaceful walks in parks or window shopping in the mall. Yuu also likes those things, though more because it is time spent with Ayumu, and eventually Setsuna, than for the activity itself. Once introduced to idols, she keeps track of local performance schedules and insists they go regularly. Setsuna loves hitting up the comic and game shops and has reservations for Comiket as soon as they’re available. She also loves the idol Lives, obviously.

35. What do they smell when they smell Amortentia?

Yuu smells the slightly gasoline-like smell of the dye Ayumu helps her use, the pyrotechnics used on stage during certain performances, and Tamagoyaki. Setsuna smells the sweat produced while performing under the heat of a spotlight, tabasco chilies, and the lingering scent of Yuu and Ayumu left on Ayumu’s bed. Ayumu smells the fabric softener the Takasaki family used for their laundry, Yuu’s hair, and Setsuna’s hair.

Tamagoyaki is the sweet, rolled egg omelet we see Ayumu feed Yuu in an early chapter of SIFA, or possibly Ayumu’s Bond Episode, I forget. Either way, I like the idea of that being a simple dish Ayumu learned to make at a young age and got Yuu hooked on her version of it over the years.

For Setsuna, I wanted to be more subtle with the tabasco thing, so I could hint at it instead of stating it directly. Thus, I looked up the ingredients for Tabasco… and what do you know, it’s made from tabasco chilies, which themselves are named after the state of Tabasco in Mexico. So yeah, a brand named after its main ingredient, which is named after the region where it is grown. No getting away from the name there.

Also, yes, Ayumu gets two hair entries, one for each girlfriend. I don’t care if it’s cheating or a cop out or whatever. I love the headcanon that she is obsessed with hair, so of course how it smells would be something that resonates with her. And she would absolutely be able to tell the difference between Yuu and Setsuna in a blind scent test.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

Setsuna is decidedly the most “needy” in her snuggles, though Ayumu can have her moments. Yuu loves all forms of physical contact, but that really isn’t much of a secret to anyone.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Setsuna, with her desire to be heroic and cool. And Yuu, having grown up with Ayumu who gets cold.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Ayumu

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Ayumu. (Bonus: What does it say?) Cute, little affirmations of her love for her girlfriends.

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Yuu is the most open about it with Setsuna coming in a close second, but only after she is more comfortable in knowing she isn’t impressing herself too much on the others. Ayumu loves her physical affection, but is more reserved in initiating it; more sensual intimacy on the other hand…

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

After a few weeks of rotation and figuring things out, they settle on Yuu being the big spoon to Ayumu while Setsuna snuggles into Ayumu’s chest, as first portrayed in Late Return Night. If, however, Yuu and Ayumu exhaust Setsuna during intimate activities, leaving her passed out between them, again, Yuu will roll her toward Ayumu and be her big spoon instead, like in Betting For Play.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

If asked, Ayumu would probably say she loves Yuu’s gentle, supportive smile and Setsuna’s heart-igniting, passionate smile. However, if actions speak louder than words, her girlfriends’ hair might be considered her favorite feature. Yuu loves Ayumu’s adorable blush when she is teased and the fire in Setsuna’s eyes when she performs. Setsuna loves Ayumu’s braided bun, enough to want to emulate it sometimes, and Yuu’s excited expression as she cheers from the audience.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

For Yuu? Honestly, not much, in either case. She had little desire to rush anything and was happy to take it all at a casual pace. Not much changed for Ayumu either when she realized she loved Yuu as they were already spending a ton of time together anyway. However, upon realizing she had feelings for Setsuna, she resolved to finally move past her jealousy over the bond Setsuna had formed with Yuu; how successful she is with this is part of her character development in TA. Setsuna tried to walk away from the other two when she realized her feelings for them were stronger than just friendship and she was afraid of coming between them. They pulled her back in. And she let them.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Currently, I only have Yuu not using any honorific with Ayumu, as opposed to -chan she uses was her peers and juniors, and eventually her seniors after they’ve all graduated. I figure she has been referring to Ayumu as such for so long that changing, even to add -chan, would feel strange, even if she constantly calls Ayumu cute, making the honorific fitting in that regard. Setsuna uses -san with everyone, even her girlfriends and Ayumu uses -chan in a similar manner to Yuu, though with Yuu as well.

I have seen other authors use the alternate reading of the kanji for Ayumu’s name and have her girlfriend call her Pomu. I’ve also seen Setsuna shortened to Setsu, as Ai does in the anime. And while I am not opposed to someday adopting either or both of these to my own writings, I am awaiting what may or may not be revealed in the second season of the anime before I finalize how the trio refers to one another. Even if that means major retcons to what I’ve already written; just add them to the list…

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Probably Ayumu. However, as mentioned above, all three worry about contributing enough to the relationship. Prior to officially dating, Ayumu and Setsuna worried that they were getting in the way of the other being a happy couple with Yuu, as revealed in Change Overnight.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Yuu, as mentioned above, is quite happy to initiate physical affection of all sorts, both in public and in private. Setsuna is more willing to initiate hugs and welcome home kisses, though is more hesitant with other types of kisses. Ayumu is similar to Setsuna but swaps for good morning kisses as the type she is more comfortable initiating.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Yuu drops the more casual version quite often, and with just about everyone she is remotely close to. She probably starts adding the more serious version occasionally, with just Ayumu and Setsuna, as she feels their bonds have strengthened to that point. Setsuna is not quite as liberal with the casual version as Yuu, but definitely uses it more with Yuu and Ayumu. She probably doesn’t use the more serious version until after they’ve made their relationship official. Ayumu realizes she hasn’t said it at all, not even the casual version, prior to them dating, and decides it’s high time to start, as revealed in Change Overnight.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

They probably tell their friends at the same time. For family, I would imagine Yuu has no problems saying something right away. Ayumu likely isn’t far behind. Setsuna… I’m still working through my thoughts on her family, to be honest.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

In When One’s Away, Ayumu started a practice to send one of Yuu’s sleepshirts and one of her own stuffed animals with Setsuna when she goes out on tour. She also has a set of wireless charging mounts that allow the three to share a conference call so they can see and hear each other before falling asleep at night. If Yuu is the one away, swap her shirt for one of Setsuna’s. If Ayumu is away, she would swap her own stuffed animal for one of Setsuna’s. This is to make sure no one feels completely left out, since it is rare that the three would be separated completely and more often only one would be away at any given time.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Setsuna and Ayumu.

[outerspaceisbetterthannothing]

Royal Blood [Alpha!Cal AU] - The Girl Who Cried Wolf. Part 2

The Girl Who Cried Wolf | Royal Blood | No Love Go | Gimme

Summary: No matter how fast you run, you can’t run from yourself

Warnings: oh, wow, where do I start?.. still, a lot of smut, still nothing too gross, but full on smut. also description of violence and abusive and toxic relationship, some curse words and, as usual, lack of proofreading

A/N: so, “The Girl Who Cried Wolf” got such a great response from you, guys, (thank you a million times for that again) that my vague ideas formed into the whole plan for this series, so, here’s part two to the story of our two wolves, which isn’t going to be last for sure! All my love goes to my pixie @bringmethehorizonandpizza for tolerating me and kicking my ass during this hell of a ride (and this part is hell of a ride, trust me). Traditionally, thank you @flannelpunkcalum for alpha Cal 😘. Huge shout out to the wonderful @burncrashbromance for the mind blowing lyrics edit you can see in the moodboard (the theme song for this part is ‘Little Monster’ by Royal Blood). I’m really in love this this part, so I hope you’ll like it too. Feedback is extremely appreciated, as always. Enjoy!

***

You’d been riding a guy’s dick for ten minutes straight already. You legs were starting to hurt, yet you were nowhere near to your orgasm. You were bouncing in a steady rhythm, your hands on your own hips, head a little thrown back. You closed your eyes, trying to concentrate on the feeling of the thick cock inside of you. The guy, whose name you wouldn’t remember for the dear life, was holding your waist to help you grind. He wasn’t kissing your breasts as you’d like, wasn’t even palming them, too busy enjoying the fact that the hot girl from the club was riding him right now. But he had a hard dick and that was enough for now.

You leaned forward and put all your weight on your left arm, sliding your right hand down your body to you clit. You started rubbing circles on it, bringing the guy to the extase by the mere view of you doing it. But you cared only about cumming right now. The new angle made you change the rhythm of your moving, your ass motioning smoothly against guy’s hips. You felt his dick going deeper inside you. The sensation was so good, yet not completely enough. You closed your eyes and tried to distance from the guy’s moans. You’ve learned already there was only one way for you to reach the high, so you let your memory bring him back again.

You almost whimpered at the pictures flashing through your mind. His dark skinned torso under you, his tattoos on display. His hands grabbing on your tits as he’s moving up to suck on your nipple. His plump lips on your clit.

That memory of his lips was the last drop. You could swear you remembered how they felt on each part of your body he kissed that night. You cried out and came on guy’s dick thinking about the sex with alpha which happened more than a week ago. You let the guy move you under him and chase his release, riding your high through it.

When you both were done, you just put your clothes back on, smiled to his offer to stay for the second round and left his place without looking at him twice. You felt the same pit in your stomach as before the sex and you knew the second round wouldn’t help you with it. Nothing would.

You sighed as you entered your apartment, kicking off your shoes and slipping off of your dress. That was the fourth guy in a week. You didn’t even feel ashamed, at this point it became almost science. You were gathering statistics, and for now it was frustrating.

You got into the shower, hot streams of water soothing your skin a little, while you were trying to get your mind straight. You fucked four guys in the last six days. You’d never been innocent, you had to admit, but that was a record even for you. And every time it was the same. No matter how good they were in bed, you couldn’t cum without thinking of the alpha. And after the sex it seemed like your hunger got even stronger.

Just like now. You sighed and rested your head against cold tiles. You’ve had a dick inside of you less than half an hour ago. Yet here you were, horny as ever, wishing for the certain hands sliding down your body right now instead of your own. You closed your eyes and gave in. You knew it wouldn’t help you, but you couldn’t resist images of him in the shower with you. You almost felt his hot breath on your shoulder, could hear him groaning in your ear. Your hand didn’t even stop at your clit, fingers going straight into your pussy. Your imagination was already painting you a picture of him pounding in you from behind, his hips slapping at your ass, his hands wandering up to your breasts and then down again to squeeze your ass. He’d be going fast, no tenderness in his movements, each of his thrusts making you stand on your tiptoes. He’d be too caught up in the feeling of your tight pussy around him to even kiss your shoulder as he’d done minutes before, just breathing through his clenched teeth next to your neck, growling at how fucking good you were.

You felt your walls clenching around your fingers, coming in no time, whining so loudly, even water couldn’t muffle the sound. When you could breathe again, you slided down the wall on your shower floor. You clasped your legs, hiding your face in your knees, letting water hit on your back. Was that how it was going to be now? Were you finally doomed? You’d felt the hunger like that before, once, many years ago. That was the moment it all finished for you in the wolves’ world.

You sobbed and felt the salt in the water on your face. There was only one explanation of what was going on with you. But fuck you if you were ready to believe in it. Because if it was, what you were afraid it was… Well, it meant the end for your life as you knew it. So was it the end of you?

Was he the end of you?

***

Calum frowned in his own coffee cup.

He was sitting in his car, outside Ashton’s house, waiting for his best friend, who was late as usual. The hour was too early to function, honestly, and they had a long, boring and difficult meeting with the potential partners in front of them. But that wasn’t the reason of his frowning.

Truth to be told, Cal was off the whole past week. And he would lie if he said, it hadn’t started with him waking up alone and finding out his little omega had just left him. He knew the trick, been putting it up himself one too many times. But she was the first woman who did it to him, and Calum didn’t like the feeling at all. How did she leave without waking him up? How come he didn’t hear her, when several hours before all his feelings had been tuned up with her. But as hard as that pill was, he swallowed it. She didn’t want anything more than one night. Deal, he was on the same page. Not even starting with the fact, that he’d never bothered with omegas. It was supposed to be one night only. Just to satisfy his hunger and interest. And even though her ability to just leave him in the morning regardless of what her omega nature might have demanded from her, still kept his interest up, Calum almost came to terms with the idea of just letting her go.

Almost. One tiny detail still torturing him. He could smell her. Every moment of every damn day since that night he was feeling her scent. In his bed (obviously, as he didn’t change the sheets, but only because he had no time, of course, and not because he wanted to feel her smell), everywhere he went (like he smelled of her now), and especially in his car. That was probably his imagination, he went to the car wash the very next day. Just the memory of her sucking his dick while he’d been driving was making the feeling so intense. But he couldn’t really smell her, that’s for sure. She lived in a different part of the town and Calum tried his hardest to avoid any possibility of crossing ways with her. Still, he smelled her. And it was already driving him mad.

“I know I’m late, shut up,” dropped Ashton, climbing on a passenger’s seat and grabbing his coffee.

Calum didn’t even look at his friend, too deep in his own thoughts. He just started his car and left the parking lot.

“So, I took a look of their offer last night,” Ashton started couple minutes and half of his coffee later, “and it’s total bullshit. I just hope they also understand it. We’re not going to have any business with them on such terms.”

Calum only hummed to that, trying to concentrate on the road.

“Let’s just be civilized, yeah?” Ashton continued. “I’m sure I’ll be able to come to the agreement with them in a diplomatic way. No need to go full on alpha on them from the beginning,” he chuckled.

“As you say,” his friend nodded.

“What’s with you today?” asked Ashtin, finally sparing his friend a concerned look. “And what’s that smell?” he went on, scrunching his face.

Calum’s frown grew deeper, as he looked at Ashton peeking around his car.

“What smell?” he asked with suspicious, stopping at the traffic light.

The very next moment Ashton opened his glove box and choked on his coffee.

“What the fuck, Cal?”

Calum bent to the glove box and let a quiet laugh, as he understood, what Ashton was talking about. Her underwear was crumpled and shoved into his glove box next to his documents and some car stuff, spreading around the wonderful smell of her sweet pussy.

“So I haven’t imagined her smell,” he muttered, sitting back up and setting the car in motion as the light turned green. He felt his mood lightening up.

“Care to explain why you have some omega’s panties in your car?” hissed Ashton, shutting the glove box.

Cal looked at his friend, cocky smirk back on his face. “And why do you think, Ash?”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “I’m not about the gory details, you smartass! I’m about the fact, that you don’t do omegas!”

Calum only shrugged to that. Seriously though, how much did he need to explain to answer that simple question.

“What I find much more interesting, is that you can actually smell she’s omega, yet at the party couple weeks ago you couldn’t even smell she was a wolf,” he noted, again concentrating on his driving. Though he couldn’t help looking at Ashton’s shocked expression.

“That omega? How did it happen?”

“Like you don’t know how it happens,” Calum rolled his eyes and got a hit on his shoulder. “Hey, if you haven’t noticed, I’m driving!”

“No, you’re being a dick,” argued Ashton. “Who is she?”

Calum sighed. “She’s from the north, we tracked her to the last city she lived in, but couldn’t find her original pack. If she had a pack, she must have left it many years ago. Lives among humans, has no contacts to wolves at all.”

“Why?”

“Have no idea,” Calum shrugged. He never really questioned that. He knew this world was full of lonely wolves like her, more often women than men, for that matter. And her lifestyle didn’t surprise him a bit, it only made everything easier. No pack meant no problems in bringing her to his pack. And even though she did leave him that morning, something in Calum made him sure that possibility still existed.

“So you were looking for her?” Ashton continued his questioning, more than just intrigued by the thoughtfulness on his friend’s face.

“Maybe,” Calum quirked an eyebrow.

“Why?”

Calum shrugged, searching for a place to park his car. “Couldn’t really shake her out of my mind.”

Ashton nodded, fully satisfied with that explanation. He finished his coffee and threw another careful look at Calum. “Do you think she may be…?” he didn’t finish the question, knew Calum hated the word.

“I’m trying not to think about it,” Calum admitted. He stopped the car and looked around the street.

“Yeah, but what if she is?”

Calum sighed and turned to his friend. “Then I’m fucked, Ash.”

With that he got out of car, leaving Ashton laugh at him inside.

***

The clinking of the elevator was probably the only sound on this floor, as you were probably the only person left in the building. It was past midnight, and saying you were tired would be an understatement. You were exhausted with the amount of work you’d been doing, the lack of sleep and feeling horny permanently. You’d stopped your sexual escapades lately, getting they were only making it worse and tried another method, abstinence. This didn’t help either, but at least you were getting some extra sleeping time. You were on the verge of tears this last couple days which never happened to you before, and considered you were going mad in much less joking manner.

You opened an Uber app as the elevator doors opened and started to enter your address. You were too sleepy and distracted this morning to drive, so you left your car in it’s parking lot and relied on the Uber. You heard heavy steps behind you and hurried to tap on the order button, switch off your phone screen and get into the elevator. To you dismay, Nick was fast enough to get in the elevator before the doors closed. You kept your sigh inside and tried to act it cool. You didn’t talk much since you rejected him in the bar that night, only if you had no way to avoid it. You leaned on the elevator wall and closed your eyes. You felt he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity, yet you were praying for him to keep his mouth shut.

“Didn’t know you were staying so late,” he started. You clenched your teeth and just shrugged, trying to show you weren’t up to the talking.

“I actually have a question for you,” Nick carried on.

Of fucking course you do, you thought, sighing and opening your eyes. “Can I avoid answering it?” you asked out loud.

“Don’t think so,” Nick shook his head, you heard anger in his voice. “I just still don’t get what you’re up to.”

“Excuse me?” you frowned, questioning again if sex with him was really good enough to bear with all of this now.

“You said, you don’t look for anything serious.”

“No, I don’t.”

“So you’re just fucking around?”

You smirked, “What a rude way to state it.”

The elevator clinked again and the doors opened. You entered the spacious hall, feeling Nick’s intense glare on your back.

“So what about that guy from the bar then?” he kept interrogating you.

“What guy from the bar?” you asked tiredly, god knows there were enough guys from the bars in the last several days.

“That night, when you told me you weren’t interested. You left with the guy,” Nick explained as they left the building and came out to the parking.

“And what about him?” you sighed and opened the uber app to check how far was the car. The next moment you felt the urge to shove your phone against the concrete pavement. You made a spelling mistake in your address and the app was politely asking you to check it. There was no car ordered.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Nick came around and stood right in front of you, demanding an answer.

“I don’t do boyfriends,” you shook your head, correcting the mistake in your address.

“But he kissed you like he owned you.”

Your fingers froze over the phone. You couldn’t fight the smile brought by the memory. He did kiss you like he owned you. And of course your imagination went off at the mere thought of alpha, you swear you could smell him in the night wind.

“So?” Nick questioned again.

You switched off your phone again and looked up at him. Unexpectedly, you met a pair of dark brown eyes instead of Nick’s light blue.

“So what?” asked alpha behind Nick’s back.

Your senses went wild the moment you heard his voice. You could hear alpha’s steady calm breath and human’s heart running faster with every other second, smelled alpha’s scent enveloping you, felt sour smell of Nick’s fear and the unholy sweet smell of your own juices. You saw alpha’s eyes brighten a little with lust as he met your stare.

Nick slowly turned back and looked at the other man. Alpha was slightly taller, but it felt like he was leaning over the human. You looked at Nick’s fingers trembling a little. If you were him, you’d be scared too.

“Back off, man, it’s a private conversation,” Nick scoffed.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Sure, Nick had no idea who he was talking to, but still having enough courage to say something like this at this level of fear was impressive. The roar didn’t leave alpha’s chest, but was loud enough for your ears. You felt wetness between your thighs immediately. Oh, what would you do for that roar.

“Why don’t you back off, man, of the lady who’s already said she’s not interested in you?” alpha pointed out with a smug look on his face.

“And how exactly is that your business? Are you her guy or what?”

You groaned inaudibly.

Alpha made one more step towards Nick. “You have no idea, who I am,” he said in a low voice.

You knew there was no way they finished that testosterone rush themselves.

“Nick,” you said, touching his shoulder, “just leave, please.”

He turned to you, looking offended and betrayed. “Fuck you both,” he muttered and set off to his car. A minute later you were left face to face with the alpha, Nick’s car rushing through the quiet streets of sleeping town.

Alpha smiled at you. “That’s why sleeping with humans isn’t a good idea,” he said, the same smugness in his voice.

“Says the guy who fucked how many human girls exactly?” your voice was sweet as sugar venom and you didn’t even try to fight your smile as you congratulated yourself of wiping his smirk off his stupidly gorgeous face.

You opened the uber app for what seemed a thousandth time that night.

“You don’t need that, I’ll give you a ride,” he said and you felt his hand on your arm, motioning you to turn in the direction of his car. He took couple steps towards it and froze, realising you weren’t following. “Omega?” he asked, looking back at you. You looked at him, you almost considered his offer. But you knew getting in his car was a bad idea, probably, the worst ever. The were reasons you left him the morning after. And those reasons didn’t disappear.

“First, I told you I’m not your omega. So stop calling me this. Second, I’m not getting in your car.”

You met his irritated look, your eyes cold and not giving anything away. His reaction was anything but what you were expecting. He chuckled at you and shook his head. “You’re so mistaken.”

You felt anger rise inside. “About what exactly?”

“Everything,” he stated simply. “Plus, you left something in my car the last time you were there. Wanna get it back?” same cocky smile back on his lips.

“Nah, that was a present,” you smiled back and switched your attention back to your phone.

“Well, then, thank you,” he muttered coming back up to you and taking your phone from your hands.

“What now?” you asked, exhaustion filling your voice.

“I told you, you don’t need it.”

“Well that’s just childish,” you said, pointing to your phone in his hand.

“Look who’s talking,” he rolled his eyes on you. “Now get your pretty ass in the car.”

You shrugged, said, “Enjoy the view of my pretty ass then,” turned in the opposite direction and started walking up to the park on the far corner of the street. You heard him exhale irritatedly and follow your steps.

“What now? You think you can just walk away from me?”

“Watch me,” you dropped not even looking back. He would hear you anyway, you knew.

“Come on, omega! I’m bigger and faster and stronger. You can’t just run away from me.”

You snorted to that. “Funny how you think it has anything to do with you. I just wanna get home, alone, lacking the company of you, Nick or anybody else.”

You stepped onto the park grass and kicked off your high heeled shoes. The grass under your feet felt magically, the ground still warm from a hot day, little drops of dew tickling on your toes. You dropped your purse not stopping for a moment, knowing full well he was following you. You had no intention of coming back to his bedroom, but you had to pay him back for stealing your phone and trying to force you into anything. You walked to the tall trees deeper inside the park and started to unzip your dress. The moment you were sure no one except the alpha was possibly able to see you, you picked on the hem of your dress and pulled it up. You dropped your dress on the ground, turning back and looking at the alpha, his stare wander over your body covered now only in a set of navy lingerie. You heard him hiss and saw the bulge forming in his pants at the sight of your body in the street lamps’ light.

“You know you can be arrested for this?” he said, his voice low. You heard danger in his tone and felt shivers running up your back.

“And who’s gonna arrest me? You?” you mocked him, raising your hands up behind your back and unclasping your bra, which fell on the ground next to your dress.

You basked in the way he was looking at you, with hunger and lust in his eyes. You knew you held all the power that moment, could ask for pretty much anything. Yet that would be too easy of a victory for you.

“Like what you see?” you asked, smiling devilishly at him.

He didn’t answer anything, just rubbed his chin, his eyes not leaving you for a moment. So you just bent and pulled your panties all the way down your legs until you were completely bare in front of him. You stood back up, stepped out of your panties, leaving them with the rest of your clothes on the grass and stepped back into the clearing behind the trees. You stopped right under the rays of moonlight coming through branches and painting your skin silver and looked again at the alpha. He took couple of steps in your direction, you heard blood rush in his veins, knew he was hardly holding back. So you just smiled at him, licked your lips and shifted.

You felt defocused for a moment, almost lost your balance, finally standing on all four legs after so many years. But it was only a moment, wolf’s instincts taking over you. You got used to hiding the memory of the feeling so deep inside of you, yet it was never forgotten. You felt so damn free, so happy, so beautiful. You inhaled the night air and turned your face to the other wolf. Alpha was standing on the same spot, looking at you in awe. He took another moment to memorize the way your silver fur was glowing in the moonlight and started to unbuckle his belt.

You knew you had so much of a head start before he’d shift and come after you. You spared him one last look and set in motion. You ran through the park, which almost felt like forest, if not for the city smells and the lack of true forest noises. You could hear alpha behind you before you reached the other side of the park. His paws hit the ground heavier than yours, but with the same speed. You sniffed and raised your speed. You crossed the road as fast as you could and whisked into one of backyards, away from street lamps and late night walkers. You heard him run closer up to you, his roar following you suit. He was an alpha and you assumed he might happen to be pretty fast. But you weren’t your father’s fastest wolf for nothing. So you let go of your fears and all of the issues you had with your wolf nature and just ran, as fast as you could, jumping over fences and enjoying every moment of your freedom.

You heard him slowing down soon enough, not even halfway through the distance. You didn’t flatter yourself with the idea that you really were faster than him. You knew alpha could reach you if he really wanted. He decided to let you go, maybe surprised by your speed, but not outrun by you. Soon you lost his smell, and by the time you came closer to your block of flats, you felt like the only wolf under the moon.

You sneaked a glance on your front door from the dark corner of the building, realising how not thought through was your plan. Sure, you teased alpha, but how you were supposed to get into the building now in a wolf shape and without the keys? Shifting back in a human’s form here on the street wasn’t a good idea either. Even if some lunatic type of neighbour of yours would be coming in or out of the building, how would you explain your naked ass outside at this hour?

You straddled back behind the corner of the building, sat down on the cold pavement and tried to think, which wasn’t easy in a wolf’s shape. One part of you, the bigger one at the moment, was convinced there was nothing better than spending the night under the stars, you just needed to find a softer piece of ground. But this part also wanted to howl at the moon, so you weren’t sure you should have listened to it. There was also one more part of you, made of instincts and dark desires, pulling you to the opposite side of the town, to one certain spacious house. It longed to crawl inside and fall to the feet of the alpha. Though there was no chance you’d listen to that part of yours either. The human part of you raised your head up, to where the fire escape was.

You stood up and tried to aim for the first landing. It was pretty high for a wolf, but four attempts finally brought you there. You had no trouble then, knowing well the door to the fire escape on your floor was never locked. You easily turned off the lights in the corridor, and needed no more than ten seconds to shift back into human, snatch your emergency key and whisk inside your apartment. There you leaned on the door and exhaled. There definitely were certain perks of being a human in a humans’ world.

You realised you left to alpha your phone and purse with all your stuff along with the keys. Thank fuck, your car keys were safely on the table near the door, as you didn’t drive that day. But you really wanted the other stuff back. You rolled your eyes at your own impulsiveness, questioning if teasing the alpha was really worth all the trouble. But you were too tired and agitated to think about it right now. You thought you won’t be able to sleep, your mind rushing with everything that happened today, but the exhaustion soon lulled you into much desired oblivion, leaving all the worries for the morning after.

***

Calum was running back to the park, sniffing at the city smells. He hated shifting inside the town, too many noises and severe smells for the wolf’s senses. But, he had to admit, tonight’s show was totally worth it.

Damn omega was driving him crazy. Calum was positive he never felt this kind of attraction to anyone in his life. And in a wolf shape these feelings only intensified. She was so beautiful, as a human and as a wolf. And she was doomed, just like him, no matter how fast she was running away from it.

As he stepped back into the park, he felt something was different. He couldn’t see or hear anything, but his instincts were on a verge. And Calum learned to trust his instincts long time ago. He slowed down and tried to keep closer to the trees. The first thing he noticed was clear grass, no sight of their clothes anywhere. Calum would have lied, if he’d said he didn’t think about some late wanker stealing their stuff, though he did hope it wouldn’t happen. But there was something else. Calum froze on the spot and lowered his head, trying to get the smell of whatever was lingering on the other side of the park.

“Seriously, dude?” Ashton’s voice was like a thunder in the silence of the night. “Gonna sniff me?”

Calum straightened and walked out of his shelter. Low roar was the answer to Ashton’s grunt. The wolf came up to his friend and looked around, then looked up at Ash in a silent questions.

“They’re in my car,” Ashton answered with a sigh. “Let’s go.”

He walked to his car, Calum running nearby and opened the backseat door. By the time Ashton got to the driver seat, he already had a naked six feet dude in the back.

“The fuck you were thinking?” he started as Cal got into his pants. “Shifting in the middle of a town? Are you completely out of your freaking mind?”

Calum pulled his shirt on and looked at his friend in a rearview mirror, quirking an eyebrow.

“You know the answer to that question.”

Ashton turned back and looked at Calum with all the anger he had right now. Sadly, his friend had just bent down to tie up his shoes, so Ashton had only his nape to burn through. “Since when do you think with your balls, man?”

Cal chuckled and looked up. “She’s in a heat.”

“Wait, what?” Ashton choke on his own words.

“She’s in a heat,” his friend repeated in a calm voice, putting on his jacket and checking the pockets.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, could smell her even while she was yet in a building.”

“Well, then excuse me, but why isn’t she fucking your brain out right now?”

“It didn’t hit her fully yet,” Calum leaned back on the seat and finally looked straight at Ashton, cocky smile on his lips. “I guess, will do in a couple of days. I think she still doesn’t understand what’s going on.”

Ashton nodded, they kept silent for couple of moments.

“So that means…” Ash started.

“Yeah,” Calum returned hastily.

Suddenly Ashton clapped his hands and bursted out laughing. “You are so fucked, my boy!”

“Not yet,” Calum snorted, “but intent to be soon, thank you very much.”

He looked at a pile of her clothes, carefully put together by Ashton. He didn’t know where this feeling came from, but he knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him. He knew she wasn’t going to be easy for him. He sighed.

“Anyway, how come you are here?”

Ashton shrugged nonchalantly, but seeing his friend waiting look, gave in. “Mike’s been at Luke’s, when I crashed. And Mike said you’ve been acting odd lately, so I decided to go and check on you.”

“Mhm, but that doesn’t explain you being here,” nodded Calum, his eyebrows furrowed.

Ashton sighed and admitted, “I may or may not have tracked you down.”

“Un-fucking-believable,” Calum crossed his arms on his chest, looking at Ashton. “My own pureblood gossips behind my back to your pureblood, and after that my best friend tracks me down.”

“Hey, you can’t actually blame us! Not everyday you’re going crazy about an omega.”

“Yeah, right,” Calum hummed, taking his car keys from his pocket. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll go and spend some time with my purebloods to show them that nothing’s actually changed. And I’ll take that,” he added, picking up omega’s stuff.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to leave her these and then actually leave her?” Ashton teased looking at the pile of clothes in Calum’s hands.

“Good night, Ash,” Calum only rolled his eyes and got out of car.

“Good night, loverboy!” cheered Ashton in an open window and started his car.

Calum only smirked. He knew Ashton was probably right, but, thank fuck, being an alpha meant having people to do delivery for him. He sighed again as he got into his car. If only other problems with his omega were so easily solved.

***

You woke up feeling awfully. Your whole body hurt, you head was heavy, muscles refused to stretch properly. That was your post-shifting hangover, and truth to be told, you were expecting it. You knew the price for not shifting for so long. Though this time it was totally worth it, you thought remembering alpha’s hungry eyes.

Nor hot shower, neither strong coffee helped you to feel better. While putting on a bracelet, you noticed that your hands were shaking. You frowned. That was too much of a reaction even for such a long pause. You felt so anxious, so unstable all of a sudden. Like a wolf feeling an upcoming earthquake, you wanted to fall on the ground and listen to what the Mother of All would whisper to you. And then run. Run as fast and as long as you only could. Because whatever it was, that was coming, it would uproot trees and make rivers flow backwards and eventually it would crash you. You could hear it coming and you were scared. For the first time in your entire life you were truly scared.

You smelled him, when you were putting your dress on. There was a wolf behind your apartment door. Not your alpha, not even a pureblood. A young beta you were positive you’d never met before. He knocked on the door once and walked away. You put on some flats, absolutely not in the mood for heels, and walked up to the door and opened it. Whoever that beta was, he already left the building. There was a paper bag left on your threshold. You carefully looked inside and smiled against your will. Your clothes were there, folded, your purse on top of a neat pile. You checked your purse and found your cell phone there, fully charged and with one unread message. From ‘Big Bad Alpha’. You chuckled and opened the text.

“Once you’re done trying to fuck me outta your head, give me a call.”

You rolled your eyes. That was definitely not what you were doing. And of course nothing of that was connected to him. But he, typical alpha, thought the whole world was spinning around his precious persona.

You grabbed your stuff and left for work. Thank all the gods it was finally Friday and you had to get through eight hours of work and then you’d have the whole weekend to get back to normal.

But all your hopes were actually in vain. You had just to look at Nick in the office to understand how deep in this you were. All the pictures of the night you’d spent with him were rushing in your mind. His arms, his lips, his tongue, his dick. You felt an urge to grab him by the hand and fuck him in the closest restroom. You shook your head and buried your nose in the financial report you had to analyse for the afternoon meeting.

Things got really harder when one of your colleagues offered you to have some coffee. While everyone were lounging during their not so much deserved break around the coffee machine, you couldn’t help but study men’s crotches and guess what was hidden inside their pants. Your hands were shaking more and more and soon you felt your neck sweating under your hair. Your body temperature was rising, you couldn’t control yourself anymore and at some point, after another hungry look at the man passing by your workplace, you understood you could soon become dangerous to people around. Each time you blinked, you were seeing alpha. You didn’t even need to imagine him naked, the memory of just his stupid smirk was setting you on fire.

You didn’t need to convince your boss in anything. By lunchtime you looked so bad, she didn’t just believed you were having flu, she basically assumed it herself and ordered you to leave the building before you could infect anybody else.

The wisest option was to go home, take a shower and after a glass or two of whiskey think about actually calling the alpha. But you were never that wise. So twenty minutes later you entered the bar you first met him and asked for a drink. Bartender didn’t look at you twice, not having any interest in people downing a double whiskey in one go in the middle of the day. But the guy sitting next to you happened to be more than interested in a girl downing a double whiskey in one go. You weren’t sure what exactly he said, you thought he called you pretty, but you weren’t sure. What you were sure about was how right his lips felt on your neck in the bar toilet, where you shoved him in five minutes later. His hands were a little too rough, but you didn’t care, too busy unbuckling his belt.

You almost came the moment he slid into you. You were leaning over the sink and he was taking you from behind. He was going hard, his hips slapping at yours. You closed your eyes, momentarily forgetting where and who you were with. The mere idea of his yellowish eyes made you moan. His low roars were bumping in your ears, synchronised to your blood flow. You had to bite on your lip to prevent yourself from crying, as you imagined his big but gentle hands on your hips. Soon you were moving towards the guy, trying to get him deeper, where you were aching for, as you admitted now, something much more different then a quicky in a bar. You finished faster than you were expecting, too exhausted by the pining and wait, and slipped off the guy. He tried to protest, but you smiled, taking his dick in your hand and helping him cum like that. You were desperate, but not to the point of letting him cum into you.

He left you soon after he finished, giving you some time and space to clean up. You looked in the mirror and hardly managed to keep yourself from smashing it. You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. You didn’t feel easier. You didn’t feel anything for that matter. The black pit inside your abdomen was still there and there was only one dick on this entire damn planet to satisfy that hunger now. You finally saw what he was talking about. You were in a heat. What’s more, you were in a heat for him. You were doomed.

You left the bar as abruptly as you came there. The drive home was rushed. You took a shower, threw away the clothes you were in today and sat on your couch. Your phone was on a coffee table in front of you. You fit a cushion under your left arm and let yourself consider your options. Option number one was to call him. Humiliating? Yes. But also solving all of your problems, in a short term at least. Option number two was not calling him and probably spending the whole night humping on a cushion.

You sighed and dialed his number. Alpha picked after the first signal, he was obviously waiting for your call.

“Where are you now?” he asked directly, his voice is quiet and businesslike.

“Home.”

“Will be there in ten,” and with that he hung up on you.

You exhaled as you understood that you were holding your breath through that painfully short conversation. His humorless attitude let you hope he wouldn’t make it more embarrassing than it already were. You had to hold on for ten more minutes now. Ten more minutes that would be probably the longest in your life.

He didn’t need to knock, you heard his steps as soon as he entered your floor and the door was unlocked even before that. He rushed through the hallway and shut the door behind him with a deafening bang, but fuck it if you cared. His eyes were already bright yellow. He felt your need and his instincts were taking over his self control, just like yours.

You somehow missed the moment when he started kissing you. Maybe you blinked or lost consciousness for a moment because of how heavenly his lips felt on your burning skin. His smell enveloped you and finally, fucking finally, you felt your shudder slowing down.

“Could smell you from two blocks away,” he was humming in between heated kisses, all tongues and teeth, your back pressed to your door, his lips slipping on your jaw. “You must be suffering. My poor omega, took you quite some time.”

And that moment, whimpering from just his lips, you realised.

“Name,” you moaned in his ear.

“What?” he whispered, trying to focus on your face. You took the opportunity to dig your teeth in his lower lip, so plump and so red already.

“Your name,” you said again, a moment or a century later, when he lowered his head to your collarbones. “I still don’t know your name.”

You felt his chuckle on your skin, his breath burning you to the bones. He looked  at you face again, then, not dropping the eye contact, he pushed your legs apart with his thigh and basically lowerer you on it. You cried out and closed your eyes, bright flashes flicker under your eyelids.

“Big bad alpha would do, love,” he mused.

You opened your eyes to meet his cocky smile. You shook your head, subtly grinding on his thigh. “I’m not calling you this,” you said stubbornly. You may have been ready to fall at his feet, but you weren’t boosting his ego with calling him that.

He smirked at you, “We’ll see about this when I fuck you nice and deep.”

And to that you could just sob, cause that was basically the only thing you needed right now.

He looked around your living room fast, picked you up with “I got you, love,” and in the next moment you found yourself bent over your own couch. His hands caressed your hips for a second and then picked on your sleeping shorts and pulled them down. The air was cooling your heat down, but it only added to your torture. He didn’t try to touch you or go with any other kind of foreplay. He knew you ached for him. No time wasted, he just took his dick out and entered you.

You choke on the sensation. It hurt and stretched you so much, but also was the best damn feeling in the world. He gave you literally a moment to get used to him and then he went hard. Each thrust was pushing him deeper inside you, where you were burning with your lust. He leaned on the headrest, his hands on both sides of you, not holding you anymore, the only contact between your bodies where he was sinking down into you. The sofa started to move forward with every his movement, making him laugh shortly. You felt your feet slip on the floor and alpha moved one hand back on you waist to pine you down and not let you fall. Not like you’d care much if you did fall. At this point you weren’t sure if you’d even notice, all your senses centred on his dick inside your core. You were moaning yes’s and fuck’s at his every move, it felt better than any sex you’d had before. The only thing you needed now, was to cum. Alpha bent lower, his breath blaze your ear.

“Come on, love,” he whispered, pushing inside harder and harder every time. “Been waiting for so long, just let go now.”

He dropped his head on your shoulder, his chest pressed to your back. You felt vibrations of his low roars with your spine, feeling so intimate and so intense. He sensed how close you were, turned his head and started sucking under you ear. He remembered how you were moaning the previous time from his kisses there. And this time it only made you whine louder. You couldn’t hold it back anymore, you felt the climax bursting up inside you. The heat was burning all your other feelings down. You were finally cumming, forgetting everything. There was only your alpha left in the world. Only him and the sensation he was giving to you.

You were bubbling something uncontrollably, feeling tears in your eyes, moving your hips, trying to ride your high on his dick. You felt his laugh and then he stood up and slid out of you, making you sob.

“I know you wanna ride it out, but I haven’t finished with you yet,” he said, as he picked you up. Yes, he was an alpha and so he was extremely strong, but when he was lifting you like you weighed nothing at all you were almost losing it right there.

“Bedroom is that door,” you snorted, seeing him moving to the bathroom door.

He easily maneuvered, lightly kicked the door open and, crossing the room in two big steps, carefully lowered you down.

“Take off your shirt,” he asked, but not ordered, while getting out of his own clothes.

You happily obliged. You were pretty sure you’d take off your skin if he’d asked you to. He took your naked body in as he freed from his own shirt. You almost moaned from the way he was looking at you. Until his sight stumbled at a thin claw scar on your side. It was the first time he saw your naked body in a daylight. You took he didn’t remember that detail from the first night you spent together. You could feel the question form in his head, but you didn’t have time for that, not now, not while you were still aching for him.

You sat up and pulled on his open jeans, taking them down along with his boxers. He bent to take his shoes off and caught your lips with his lips, as he was done with them. He moved you further on the bed, his lips and hands not leaving your body for a moment. You were clenching on his shoulders, basically hanging on him. His body felt so hard yet so soft at the same time. Muscles shift under his dark skin as he moved you even closer to him. You were kissing feverishly, like you both were dying from thirst and your lips were the only source of water. You were drinking each other, breathing each other, not stopping, not letting go for a moment, your bodies fitting each other perfectly. You felt your eyes filling with tears again. In this moment everything was like it was supposed to be, and you finally were right where you were supposed to be. Your whole life you were searching for this, you were born for this. And now you were fulfilling your destiny.

Alpha lowered you back down on the pillows, clenching on your waist and was holding your pelvis on the same level with his crotch. He bent to you again to steal another kiss and you felt his dick at your enter.

“It’s Calum,” he whispered, detaching his lips from yours. You looked at him, puzzled, too deep into the bliss he was sending you to understand what he was talking about. He snorted and explained, “My name. It’s Calum.”

And with that he pulled your waist a little higher and entered you again.

Calum was going slower, taking his time and enjoying each motion. Your deep moan followed his each push. He dropped his head on your chest, his lips finding your nipple a second later, making you cry out at the sensation. His pace soon became too slow for you, but Calum was holding your waist so tight that there was no chance of moving. All you could do was dip your fingers into his dark hair and press it closer to your breasts. You started whining soon, the feeling too much for you, but he was just hiding his smile in your skin. Your walls started clenching around him again, his groan echoed in your insides. He couldn’t hold it much longer after that. His hips moved sloppier each time, his rhythm fastened. He looked up on you with question in his eyes, and you lost it. Him bending over you, that big bad alpha, and asking for your permission was so intoxicating, you couldn’t hold it any longer. A short nod was the last thing you managed to do before your world exploded and fell into glittery pieces around your shaking in pleasure body. And when you thought nothing could possibly top that, you felt your alpha cum inside you. The pleasure was too much, and with his guttural roar you let go of this world and let the darkness consume you.

***

“Alpha?”

That was the first word leaving you as you came back to this world. You shifted, finding out with the surprise you were lying on your front, your sheets covering you up to your waist. You opened your eyes lazily. Calum was lying on his side next to you, watching you with such softness in his eyes, you felt an urge to die for him right that moment. Thankfully, there was no need.

“Told you, you’d call me that,” he mocked, stroking your hair.

You closed your eyes again, smiling at his remark. You weren’t ready to leave your heaven yet, so you just inhaled deep, basking in the feeling of his tender touch. His hand slipped further, his fingertips caressing the skin of your back. He found deep bite marks under your right shoulder blade.

“Where are these from?” he asked you, his voice half whisper.

You frowned. The memory of that awful night popping up in your mind at the first call.

“Long story,” you said. You definitely didn’t want to speak about that now, not when you felt like that.

You turned on your side and moved closer to him, hiding your face on his chest and clasping your arms around his torso. His arms nestled around your much smaller frame, snuggling you even closer. He smelled of home. Not the one you left so many moons before, but the one you were supposed to find one day, the one that was waiting for you since you came to this life. And he also smelled of something you never even dreamed to find. He smelled of happiness.

“You know what’s going on with you, right?” he asked an eternity later.

You frowned, knowing full well where he was going with this talk.

“You’re an omega,” he said when you didn’t answer anything. “You’ve been in a heat at least once before, so…”

“I’ve been in a heat just once,” you answered bitterly. You looked up at him, his eyes still as soft as they were. Yours were spiky, you were wounded by his remark.

“Well, I’m flattered,” he said and kissed your forehead. “I didn’t mean it that way, love, trust me. I just-,” he paused in search for the better words. “You must know what’s going on.”

Of course you knew. You were scared of it since you ascended. You lived your life threatened by the idea of this day coming. You closed your eyes and shook your head.

“Don’t say it,” you pleaded in a dreadful whisper.

“Whether I say it or not, it won’t change it,” he answered with a sigh. “You can’t run from it. You’ve tried already.”

“Not sure about that, I’m pretty fast.”

He let out a short laugh. “Yeah, I’ve seen.”

You looked at him again, now only sadness in your eyes. “You don’t know what you’re asking me about. I’m the worst candidate ever to be an alpha’s mate.”

You got out of his embrace, stood up from the bed and went out on a small balcony your flat had, throwing a satin gown over your naked body. You weren’t trying to escape him, you just really didn’t want to argue with him. And you would argue, you felt it. He was obviously just as stubborn as you were, he wouldn’t let it go.

You heard the door open behind you and felt the anger rise inside you. Couldn’t he let you breathe for a moment at least? Did he understand you weren’t in the mood to discuss it? You sighed quietly, your mind rushing in search for the better words for all the arguments why you shouldn’t have been his mate, why you shouldn’t have been anyone’s mate for that matter, why you shouldn’t have been an omega in the first place. He wanted an argument, he would get one, you decided, lining up your reasonings.

What you haven’t expected was him coming up to you silently and kissing on your neck. You leaned back on his shoulder a little, moaning at the sweetest feeling. His hands were all over your body, palming and gripping and stroking on your curves. His left hand slithered under your robe and clutched on your right breast, you whimpered on the feeling. His lips were still assaulting your neck. You relished in the sensations, your body completely under his control. You felt his right hand caressing your hip under the soft material, his slightly calloused fingers so tender on your skin. Your slit clenched in pure anticipation, juices slowly leaking out of you.

“Widen your legs,” he whispered as his hand slid lower.

You obeyed, aching for his touch again. You knew it was the heat messing with your head and reactions, but you couldn’t deny how much power he had over your body. Calum hissed through his teeth as his fingers touched your wet folds.

“Look how you’re dripping for me,” he mused in your ear, his fingers stroking through your folds, lightly touching your clit. “Can’t have enough of it, can you?”

You exhaled loudly, your eyes shut and your hands gripping on the balcony railings. “No, alpha, need more,” you confessed, him squeezing on your breast harder at your words. “Please, give me more.”

He chuckled, as his finger stopped at your clit. You felt him pressing on a sensitive nub a little and then he went faster, rubbing it in circles. His lips went back on your neck, leaving a hickey after hickey. Your legs started to shake from this simple stimulation, the pleasure building up inside with the highest speed. You felt Calum’s greedy smile on your skin. The next moment you forgot how to breathe as he pushed a finger inside you. He curled it up, massaging on your trembling walls, and you cried out.

“Keep quiet, love,” he whispered into your neck. “Don’t wanna attract your neighbours.”

You didn’t give a fuck about your neighbours, but bit on your lower lip nonetheless, not ready to disobey. Not when he was pushing the second finger inside you. Calum wasn’t rushing it, his fingers going in a steady rhythm, each movement carefully planned. His every motion was putting you higher. Soon you were grinding on his hand yourself, trying to get his fingers deeper. He chuckled at your action.

“Aren’t you a greedy girl?” he mused with a grin.

“I need you deeper,” you sobbed. “Please, Calum, I really need you.”

You didn’t know what it was exactly. Your pleading or the fact that you called him by his name for the first time. But something really got him, as his grip on your breast tightened  even more and he let out a low roar. He pulled his fingers out of your pussy and turned you to the balcony door.

“On the bed, now,” he commanded shortly, giving your ass a light slap.

You didn’t hesitate for a moment. He followed you suit, freeing himself of the sheet he’d wrapped around his hips before following you to the balcony. You sat on the edge of the bed and leaned on your arms to move beck, but Calum shook his head, motioning you to stay where you were.

“Lay down,” he said. You did as you were told, feeling uncomfortable with your feet not actually touching the floor. But he picked up your legs as soon as he reached you and lifted them on his shoulders. You smiled, getting where he was going with it. Calum stroke your legs slowly with his hands, kissed on your shin. “You’ve got gorgeous legs, have I told you?”

“Not yet,” you smiled. You untied your gown belt and let the material slip on the sides, opening your body for his sight.

“You’re such a tease,” Calum smirked, his hand caressing your belly.

“Look who’s speaking,” you answered, covering his hand with yours and pushing it lower, to your aching core. “I still need you deep inside me,” you whispered, looking him right in the eye.

“Too much sass for a little omega,” he chuckled and slipped his dick into you.

You opened your mouth involuntary, the sweetest whimper leaving you, eyes still fixed on his now light-brown orbs. He pulled back and pushed inside you again, this time pushing his cock almost on the full. You choke on your breath, sure he was gonna break you in two and oh so ready for this. Calum grinned at your reaction and started pumping you, his movements harsh and fast. You gripped on your breasts, squeezing your niples and adding some pain to the pleassure. He leaned a little forward, his hands fall to the bed on both sides of you. The new angle set you on fire. His dick was so deep in you, right where you needed it, right where you were burning for him. You closed your eyes, no longer able to maintain eye contact, seeing bright flashes at his every push. You were whimpering loud, forgetting everything in the world, caring only for his dick inside and the low groans he was letting slip from his plump lips. You didn’t know how long you were going like this, the concept of time completely alien for you now, but soon your legs started slipping over his shoulders, covered in sweat. You clenched on his bitsepts, your nails going deep in his flesh and making him hiss through his greeted teeth. You opened your eyes and saw on his face he was close, a fold between his eyebrows showing he was holding out and soon would let go. You couldn’t fight your smile, your chest full of pure happiness just at the realisation of how good you were for your alpha.

“I still can…” he didn’t finish his question, roaring on your pussy clenching around him. “Right?”

“Cum into me, alpha,” you half-begged, half-ordered, stroking his shoulders, “give it all to me.”

He leaned a little more on you and, pushing his dick all the way down you, started to cum. You saw the pleasure on his face, heard his satisfied moans and these set you off, the pleasure bursting out in your abdomen and covering all around in light flashes and complete silence.

Calum let your legs slip from his shoulders and fell on top of you. You hugged him with your arms and legs and let him catch your breath. His big body was crashing you, but it was the sweetest feeling in the world, to have him like that in your arms, panting and gaining his strength back after the pleasure you gave him. You let yourself to dissolve in contentment, letting go of your consciousness. The last thing you remembered from that day, was him whispering you “Sleep, my sweet omega,” as his strong arms were laying you on the pillows.

***

He looked much younger in his sleep. You put your palm under your cheek and kept examining his face. The frown between his eyebrows disappeared, his plump lips weren’t pressed together and looked even bigger and softer. His jaw wasn’t so vivid as he had no reason to clench his teeth in the sleep. He was so relaxed.

You thought how much you didn’t know about him and how much you wanted to learn. Sad thoughts occupied your mind again. Whatever you wanted, there was no chance for the two of you. So the less you knew, the better.

Sweet little moan escaped him, as he rolled on his back and shifted his arms over his head. You looked down his body, getting fast what was bothering him, the prominent bulge showing from under your bed sheets. Well, that you could definitely help him with.

You carefully moved the sheet from him not to wake him up and slid down on the bed, awkwardly trying to fit between his legs. His dick was all the way up and leaking precum already on his toned belly. Must be painful, you though.

You threw one more careful look at him, making sure he was sleeping, and took his dick in your hand. You pumped him couple times, enjoying his length and curving veins. He was so damn beautiful at every part. You sighed and put his head in your mouth, wishing for him to wake up from that and not your hand. You started from sucking just on the head, your tongue occasionally sliding lower. When you heard another moan leaving him, you pushed your head down as far as you could, and hollowed your cheeks on the way back. Your hand was on the base of his dick, massaging on the parts you couldn’t fit inside. You kept bobbing your head, swirling your tongue around the head, when you heard him moaning your name. He lifted his head up and slid his fingers in your hair.

“Shit, baby, yes,” he muttered, his voice sharp and low from the sleep.

You concentrated on the head again, sucking and kissing on it, and looked up at Calum. His eyes were half-open, lust and pleasure in his sight. You smiled at him and licked with your flat tongue all the way down and up again. His hand in your hair twitched a little as you pushed him down your mouth again. You let your tongue lick and swirl all the way, as you relaxed your throat and pushed his dick further. His other hand flew to your hair as he breathed out, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You gave him two seconds and lifted your head back up to take some air and repeat it all again. He was panting in no time, tugging on your hair and dropping curse words at your every motion. You felt his dick twitching at the base and went back to bobbing your head and simply sucking, as he was close, his hands helping you keep the rhythm.

“Love, I’m gonna cum,” he whispered, letting you know you could stop, if you wanted to. But you didn’t. You lifted your head again and gave his head one last sucking kiss, which was the end of him.

You were slowly kissing on his lower abdomen, as he was coming back from his high. When you heard his breathing coming back to normal, you sat up and innocently smiled to him.

“Good morning, alpha,” you said.

He sat up in one sharp move and pressed you to his chest, kissing you hungrily. You clenched on his shoulders, surprised and flattered by his reaction.

“You’re a devil,” he whispered, letting go of your lips.

You smiled again. “What do you want for breakfast?” you asked, leaving feather like kisses on his cheeks.

“You,” he stated simply. His hands were stroking your neck, examining bruises he left last night.

“No, Calum, you need food,” you argued softly, trying to unclench his arms.

He sighed, letting go of you. “Whatever you wish, then.”

You left him in the bed, the same gown from last night thrown over you. Your kitchen was little, but had everything you needed. You examined the content of your fridge and decided to go with something easy. Quarter of an hour later he came out of your bedroom to the delicious smells of ham and omelette with veggies and freshly brewed coffee. You put a plate on a kitchen counter in front of him, not missing on how mouth-watering did he look in only his navy boxers.

“Where’s your breakfast?” he asked, sitting down and picking up a fork.

“Oh, I’ve had mine already,” you stated with a chuckle and winked at him.

You poured yourself some coffee and leaned on the counter opposite to him. He shook his head and beckoned you to his side. You easily gave in and sat on the chair next to him. Calum smiled to you and put the plate between both of you. He took a mouthful of omelette and handed you his fork. “Eat.”

“I’m really not hungry,” you smiled, drinking your coffee. His next look made you choke on your drink. You obediently took a fork and picked a little piece of ham with the red pepper. “You have a right for the first bite,” you reminded him.

“I also have the right to decide what to do with my first bite.” He took the fork back, snapped another piece of omelette and lifted it to your mouth. His eyes were serious enough for you not to argue this time. Seeing you chew, he also kept eating. When you two finished, you felt a snatch of guilt.

“Should have cooked more,” you said, clearing the counter.

“Oh, I’ve had enough,” Calum hastened to reassure you. Then he grabbed your wrist and pulled you closer to him, devilish smile on his face. “Now I want my dessert.”

He easily picked you up and sat on the counter, where minutes ago stood the plate and your cups. He pushed your legs apart, his lips on your lips already. You didn’t waste any time shoving your hand in his boxers and palming his already hard dick. Was he always so fast up or was it your heat messing with his reactions too? Whatever the answer was, next moment you forgot even about the question, as he threw your gown open and his lips started their way down to Calum’s dessert.

***

You two were lounging on the bed. It was late in the evening, you were naked and clenching on each other.

Calum spent the whole day in your apartment. After heated sex on the kitchen counter and rather passionate shower together, you settled on the couch in front of the tv. No one cared about what was showing, too busy with your make out sessions and slow loving on each other. When things got heated again, you moved back to the bedroom. And now, one round later, you were just lying on his chest listening to his heartbeat and trying to breathe in unison.

“Tell me something,” he asked softly.

You looked up at him, frowning a little. “What do you want me to tell?”

“Anything. Tell me about your family. Or where did you get those scars,” his hand hovered over your shoulder blades, his fingers caressed your bite marks. “Or why do you say you’re worst omega ever,” he sighed at that. “I just wanna know.”

You moved up from him, rolled on your front and pushed a pillow under you, clasping on it with your arms. You settled and looked him in the eye. “I thought, you knew everything about me,” you mocked him, remembering what he said to you at your meeting in the bar.

He also moved to lie on his stomach, making sure his face was the same level with yours. He didn’t answer anything to your mocking, just looked back at you, his eyes soft, but demanding. You inhaled deeply, lowered your sight to his shoulder and tried to imagine, what could you start that story with.

“My father was, and I assume, still is the alpha of the biggest pack of the north of the country,” you said, feeling his mood shift with his surprise. You knew he got what pack you were talking about. You knew he didn’t expect that.

“The Lakes pack?” he decided to check his guess.

You hummed in agreement. The Lakes… You hadn’t seen them in almost ten years and there wasn’t a day you weren’t missing them.

Calum whistled at your confirmation. “So you’re saying you’re a wolf royalty?”

You rolled your eyes. Little did he knew about real life in your family. You swallowed and went with your story. “Our bloodline were alphas of that pack for decades, if not centuries. And we only ever had boys. I was the first girl to be born in our family for as long as people could remember. Although, when I was born, my father already had a son, so no matter how surprising was the fact that I happened to be a girl, it didn’t actually change anything. Dad had his male heir, pack could be sure in the safe future. I think we were the only pack which survived for so long with the inherited alpha position, it’s so unnatural for our kind. But, we’re also the creatures of habit and tradition. And that was our tradition, so,” you broke for a moment. “I guess, it was really lucky all generations of my family were producing alphas. The younger sons always stayed as pure bloods to protect the family. None of the wolves from my bloodline has ever left the pack. I was the first.”

“How did it happen?” Calum asked quietly when you didn’t continue after some time.

You sighed again. You succeeded in keeping those memories buried deep down your soul for so long, that digging them up now was really painful.

“As I said, we only ever produced alphas. So, when I was born, my father was pretty certain I’d become a pure blood, the right hand to my brother, who, when time comes, will replace my father. I don’t remember my mom at all. I’ve seen her only in photos. She died when I was about three.”

“Do you know what happened to her?”

You felt a lonely tear stream down your cheek, as you shook your head. “My dad never spoke to me about her. Not once. It was a taboo topic in the pack. There was a moment in my early teen years, when I got really curious and started asking questions. But I learned pretty fast, that wasn’t a winning strategy.”

“I’m sorry you never knew her,” Calum said softly, his hand slid back on your body, just to remind you were not alone now.

“Yeah, well, at least she didn’t have to live with my dad, so, I guess, she was lucky anyway,” you shrugged. “I was brought up the way all the boys in the family were. My whole childhood was filled with trainings and fights. If I wasn’t at school, I was probably learning to hunt, or fighting with other future pure bloods, or doing any other shit me father believed I  had to learn to do in order to protect the name of the family. That was the most important, the name of the family, never the family itself,” you inhaled, taking a pause before continuing. “I never questioned what my father was doing to me. When I was little, it was just the fun game. I mean, I had to explore woods and hills with our best hunters instead of learning maths. What kid wouldn’t prefer that? But later things got weird. My brother… you see, he never really was serious about things. He was petty and reckless and arrogant. Too arrogant even for the alpha,” you smirked at that. “No offence though.”

“None taken,” Calum assured you. His hand was gently stroking your waist.

“He’s two years older than me, I think, I didn’t mention,” you huffed. “So, cutting it short, by the time he ascended and, of course, happened to be an alpha,everyone understood he would never be a good leader to the pack. I was fifteen, when it happened. And since then my trainings only intensified. Even more, my father started taking me to meetings and his talks to elder wolves. I wasn’t getting what was going on until I heard one talk between my father and his closest pure blood. They were talking about how the pack needed a better alpha,” you closed your eyes, reminiscing on one of the scariest moments of your life. “They wanted me to kill my brother, Calum. My father wanted me to kill his older son and took his place as soon as I ascend. He even said, I would have had no trouble doing it with how useless my brother was.”

You felt Calum’s hand go harder on your back, trying to reassure you, to calm you down. He didn’t hear the best parts yet, though.

“It was a month before my eighteenth birthday. I cried in pure shock the whole night after that. I think, emotions set the process. I ascended the next morning, during the breakfast. It was only me and my father in the dining room that day. Have no idea, where my brother was. Dad understood everything from the beginning. He sent me up to my bedroom, to go crazy alone, as I thought at the start. I had no idea what was happening, hands were shaking, temperature rising, I was seeing red. Well, you’re an alpha, you know what’s an omega ascending like. It hits you with your first ever heat like a truck with no warning. Half an hour later one of young pure bloods knocked on my bedroom door. He was one of the wolves I was training all my life with. He was a fellow friend. But at that moment I saw only a mature enough wolf in him. As I understood later, my father brought him to help me go through the heat. We didn’t leave my room for three days before it finished. It was pure madness, and what made everything worse for me, I never learned a single thing about the heat before. My father couldn’t even think there was a chance for me to end up an omega. I knew the theory, but no one ever instructed me on what to do. And also, I forgot to say, that was actually my first sex ever,” your alpha hissed at that, but you decided to ignore his reactions, at least for now. “The short times we weren’t fucking, I was so unresponsive out of pure shock, you could think I was in a kind of trance. Matt, that wolf, he couldn’t look at me after that,” you swallowed your tears. “You know who could actually look at me? My father. The first evening he saw me after ascending, he looked at me like I betrayed him, like it was all my doing. He looked at me, said he’d never thought he’d be disgraced to have a whore as a daughter, and left the house.”

Calum moved closer to you, his lips attached to your shoulder. “I’m sorry, love, I’m so so sorry.”

“Oh, wait till you hear the best part,” you let out a humourless laugh. “That night I decided to leave the pack. We were wealthy, I had some money, a car, no idea what to do and where to go, but, like, that wasn’t stopping me. So I packed what I thought was the most important and left the house after everyone went to sleep. Well, i thought, they went to sleep. My brother waited for me in front of the house. I have no idea, how exactly, but he found out my father’s now broken plans about his two children and, of course, he decided to kill me first. Even though I was no threat to him anymore. The scars you see, it was him. I refused to fight him, was crying and begging him not to, but he shifted into a wolf. My dad went out of house to the noise. He looked at us, I was lying on the ground, crying and wounded, my own brother in his wolf shape biting on my back. I was covered in my own blood. I thought he would do something, thought he wouldn’t let his only children rip each other’s throats. But he just looked at us and went back into the house, like saying, he didn’t care what would happen to any of us.

“I got so angry. I’ve never been that angry in my entire life. So I shifted. I think, my brother was surprised. He though, after I ascended I somehow gained the obedience of a typical omega and would never attack an alpha. But, as you already know, that’s not what happened. I fought him back and knocked him out, which wasn’t so difficult. I was fighting him since we were little kids, I knew all his tricks and flaws. I made sure he wasn’t in a state to follow me, shifted back, got in a car and never went back.”

You kept feeling Calum’s lips on your shoulder, his kisses soft and loving. He lifted his body up to linger over you, his lips moving to your other shoulder. You felt your heartbeat, risen at the unpleasant memories, starting to calm down. You closed your eyes, shoving the pictures of your past back where you kept them for so long, trying to relax, drinking in your alpha’s scent, letting yourself forget there were any other wolves or men besides the two of you in the world.

His kisses went lower, drawing heated patterns on your back, covering each part of your skin. When he finished with your back, he kept kissing your ass and then legs. He went all the way down, caressing your one leg with his hands, while kissing on the other. He then moved you on your back and went back all the way up the front of your legs. He went around your core, not bothering it. He wasn’t trying to turn you on with those kisses, his only agenda was loving on you, showering you in his warmth and care. Your fingers slipped in his hair, you were smiling at him.

“These are actually nice,” you whispered, tugging on his dark curls genly.

“Anything for you, love,” he whispered back, kissing on your belly.

By the time he finally reached your lips, you were panting hard from the desire. You couldn’t control your feelings to him, nor physical, neither emotional. You were so enamoured by him, his actions, his reactions to you. You enfolded your arms and legs around his torso, pressing him more into you, like you were trying to merge your two bodies into one. This kiss wasn’t rushed or rough, but somehow it was the most passionate one you’d had so far. You weren’t satisfying your animalistic need for him, he wasn’t claiming his right for you. This moment you were just loving each other.

He didn’t need much time to slip into you again, you sobbed at the feeling, too sensitive after all the sex you’d had before. He noticed that along with your wince.

“I can…” he started, moving from you, “we don’t need to.”

You only tightened your grip around him. “No, Calum, need you.”

And he obeyed. One word from you and your big bad alpha was at your command. You said you needed him, he let you have him. He gave you some time to adjust, his head buried in the crook of your neck, his heavy breathing blazing on your skin. And then he started moving. He raised his head up, his eyes glued to your eyes. His pushes were slow, going full length deep. You were whimpering in synch, not letting your eyes close. You needed him to see you that moment, all of you down to your deepest secrets. You needed to see what he was doing to you, what he meant to you this moment. His eyes were glowing yellow, reflecting your bright blue ones. He wasn’t having sex to your body this time, he was making love to your soul. You felt your eyes filling with tears again and broke the contact, only to feel him kissing on your cheeks, collecting your tears with his lips, not letting you spill any of them. You felt your high build up soon, the wall of it towering over you as his movements got sloppier. You started to clasp your legs around his torso on the feeling, hardly able to stay in consciousness any longer.

“Look at me,” he asked you and you opened your eyes.

That was the last drop for you both. You managed to deal with the crashing feelings inside, but seeing them reflecting in each other’s eyes set you both over the top. You cum around him, crying his name out, feeling him loading you with his own cum, the sounds he was making this moment the most beautiful you’d ever heard in your life.

***

You were standing in your kitchen, nursing the cup of black coffee. You were waiting for Calum to wake up and dreading that moment. Your heart was heavy with what you had to do, but your will was never as strong.

You heard his phone vibrate on your night table. He shifted, disturbed by the sound, but to the time Calum finally sat up in bed, whoever was calling him, stopped. You heard Calum stretch his shoulders and pick up the phone. Not ten seconds later you heard his voice.

“Yeah, Ash, what?” he made a pause after that, probably listening to the explanations that Ash, whoever that was, was giving him. “Can’t you deal with it yourself? Told you I’m off limits this weekend,” he huffed in dismay. You knew the face he had right now and shook your head. How come you learned all that about him in just a day and a half. “Well, that’s important too.” He paused again. You felt your stupid heart pick up it’s pace at realisation that Calum was postponing some of his business to be with you while you were in heat. “Shit,” he hissed. “Alright, alright, I got it. I’ll be in… shit, honestly, no idea how fast. But I’ll come, okay?.. Yeah, see you there.”

You took it he hung up. You listened to him stand up and collect his clothes from the floor, where it was lying since Friday afternoon. He appeared couple minutes later, his eyes scanning the living room in search for you. You cleared your throat and he turned to you. You saw that again, the same softness and adoration in his look you saw last night. But all this drowned really fast at his realisation. You liked it, how fast he picked up on your mood and on what you were thinking. Whatever it was, heat or not, the understanding you two had was incredible.

“I need to go deal with some stuff,” he stated simply.

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” you admitted, trying to look anywhere but him.

“I was about to say I’ll be back as fast as I can, but I take it…”

“Yeah, no need to worry about it anymore,” you interrupted him. “The heat is over.”

You swallowed, feeling his eyes scanning your face.

“Thank you for everything, but, I guess, now you can fully get back to your life.”

You heard him swallow. You could feel he was angry. You didn’t know how you felt it without even seeing his face, but you did.

“Look at me,” he asked.

“Calum, seriously, I think it would be better for the two of us…”

“Look at me!”

You couldn’t fight the direct order. His eyes were dark, almost black. Pain and fury splashing in them.

“It wasn’t about your heat,” he said. “Your heat was the symptom, not the reason.”

You shook your head, silently begging for him not to say it out loud. But he didn’t listen to you this time.

“We’re mates.”

“No, we aren’t! That was just stupid wolf physiology. We were acting on our instinct and only!” you exclaimed.

“Damn it, can you just stop fucking fight it?” he shouted back at you. “Last night wasn’t an instinct! We’re not an instinct!”

“There is no we, Calum,” you felt tears stream down your face.

“If there’s no we, then what are you crying about?” he asked in a surprisingly soft voice. You tried to look away, tried to close your eyes, at least for a moment. But you couldn’t free from his command. “What are you crying about, love?”

“I’m not your love,” you shrugged in disagreement, you eyes giving you away no matter what you were saying. “I’m not your love and never will be,” you repeated trying to convince yourself rather than him. “I’ll never be your mate, Calum, and there’s no happily ever after for us. I won’t obey you, I won’t follow you, I will never become an omega you need. I was raised to rule a pack, not kneel to one man. I wasn’t meant for that life, I just can’t. No matter how hard I’ll try, I will only make you unhappy. And I can’t,” you sobbed, “I can’t make you suffer with me, Calum.”

He sighed, looking at his feet and rubbing his chin.

“Just go, Calum,” you pleaded. “Just go, and forget me, please.”

“I can make you be mine,” he said, his voice careful, like he wasn’t completely sure in what he was saying.

You chuckled through your tears. You knew he would never do that. No to you and not to himself. “You can order me to stay by your side, but you can’t order us to be happy. Your command doesn’t work like that, alpha.”

He looked back at you, no anger in his eyes anymore. He looked betrayed and beaten. You felt your heart clench with pain. You hated yourself for what you were doing to him. But you couldn’t bear the thought of staying with him and making him regret it for the rest of his life.

He sighed again. “I’ll go now,” he finally said. “But I’ll be back as you’re ready for us.”

“Calum, I’m serious…”

“No,” he shook his head stubbornly. “You can try to fight it or run away from it, but you’ll get it. No matter how much time you’ll need, it’ll be my way. You will be mine.”

He put on his jacket and stepped to the door. Then he stopped and looked back like he forgot something. “One more thing, you’re prohibited to leave the town,” he ordered you and left your apartment.

You felt your tears break all the dams inside and flow out of you. You sank on the floor and curled up, clasping on your knees. You had no idea what you were going to do. You wished you rather die than doom him for the rest of his life with you. And you were ready to die without him.

You guessed, dying was the only option left for you.

***

Taglist: @myloverboyash, @bringmethehorizonandpizza, @calumamongmen, @5saucewho, @madformichael, @c-h-i-l, @woahitsannerieke, @rotten-kandy

Also tagging some mutuals and people who requested for the second part in comments (IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE TAGGED JUST LMK AND ALSO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE): @angelbabylu, @i-calumhood, @calpops, @singt0mecalum, @rip-lukes-balsamic, @gorgeouslygrace, @inspirationcal, @calumfmu, @megz1985, @ficrec5sos, @toohardto-forget, @lockthisheartinchains, @imaginirwin, @josie-elizabeth, @danique001, @itsmeempar

[imaginedeux]

Girl At The Rock Show (E.D. Imagine)

A/N: So Warped Tour happened like almost a year ago now, and I've been wanting to write something. I’ve read a couple of imagines where the reader goes to Cochella with the twins, but I haven't read them going to Warped Tour, and that’s honestly a concept. The show is going to be in San Diego, but i’ll be putting set times from when I went.

“Hey whats up guys! We’re back! Well, I’m back, Grayson is sick and can't film/ can't leave the house, but don't worry, we have four other amazing people here to help me with today’s video! Please introduce yourselves to the camera!” Ethan yelled at the camera from the passenger seat, pointing it at you.

“Hey! It’s (Y/N)! And I’m currently driving E’s car the three hour journey to San Diego.” You fake groaned, before you smiled at the camera, making sure you stayed in your lane. Your three other friends in the back seat all yelled hello before Ethan said he would update them when they got to the location.

“Awesome, now for a 3 hour nap.” Ethan sighed, putting his feet onto the dashboard.

“Oh, heck nah! You have at least three hours to learn one song from one of the bands playing today.” You explained, giving him your phone that was tethered to the car’s bluetooth. “I have a playlist on Spotify with a bunch of songs from some bands playing today, so you better get learning.”

“I’ll give you 3 seconds to guess where we are today!” Ethan yelled at his camera as you grabbed your draw string backpack from the trunk, ready to get the long day stared. “Well you’re probably wrong, or you're right cause you read the title to the video. I’m at the LAST Vans Warped Tour in San Diego! As you know a couple of months ago, Gray and I surprised (Y/N) with a ticket to Cochella, and she had the time of her life. Now a month-ish ago she surprised Gray and I with tickets to Warped Tour, but unfortunately Gray got sick, so we gave his ticket to one of (Y/N)’s friends since they didn't have the chance to buy a ticket before it sold out. So now we’re here, I’m not sure how much i’ll be able to film because it is a sold out gig and there are going to be a ton of people, I might just get (Y/N) to film for me.”

“I’ll only film for you if you end up crowd surfing, everything else is on you.” You shook your head closing the trunk of his car, after making sure everyone had what they needed. “Alright lets head out!” A five minute walk from the rather sketchy $20 parking lot later, your group came across the end of the line. “No fucking way, the entrance is literally around the block, and the doors don't open for another hour.”

“See, I told you we should have brought the cans of food, we would have gotten early entrances.” Your friend Carla, lectured as people with bags of food cans walked by.

“I completely forgot about them! I could have sworn I had them at the apartment before we left, but I couldn't find them this morning.” You explained, groaning. If you had non-perishable cans of food, or even an old cellphone, and you donated them, you'd be able to enter the grounds, about half an hour before everyone else did.

“Wait, were they all cans of corn?” Ethan asked from behind you. Turning, you gave him a look.

“Yes...” You answered squinting your eyes at him. “Did you take them?! I swear E, if you did...” You started before Ethan covered your mouth with his free hand, the other holding onto the camera recording the scene in front of him.

“No, wait, they’re in the car. They were in the cardboard boxes next to the first aid kit.” Ethan explained, pointing the camera at himself, before the group of you started to yell.

“E, can you PLEASE, go and grab them? Please! I’ll buy you a whole pineapple pizza to yourself when we get to the hotel tonight.” You pleaded, taking the camera away from him. A laugh at the group later, he was sprinting back towards the car, ready to get this long day started.

“Thank you guys for the donations, you all have a good day!” The woman taking the cans said, scanning your tickets.

“Likewise!” The lot of you smiled back, making your way towards the grounds. “So how is this going to work? Cause I know Carla, Kevin and Jack wanna go and see Crown The Empire, and it looks like they’re one of the first to play at the White Lightning Stage, and that’s on the other side of the venue.” You said looking up between the inflatable line-up and the venue map you payed way too much for. 

“Well, it looks like All Time Low is gonna be the last to play today at the Right Foot Stage at 8:30, and thats a band we all wanna see so we can meet up at the end of the day of thats what you want?” Jack, said pointing at the line up. This was one of the things about warped, most of the time the bands you wanna see play at same time and on opposite sides of the venue. 

“Wait look, Chase Atlantic is playing at 7:55, isn't that the band you wanna see?” You asked looking up at Ethan, who was looking back at the line up.

“Yeah it is, but its at 7:55, which means that we’ll be late to the band y'all wanna see.” Ethan realized, looking at how long Chase would play. “I know you’ve been wanting to see All Time Low for years, and I don't want you to miss out on them.”

“Thats nonsense, so looks like we have a plan. Jack, you, Carla and Kevin wanna see the same bands, so you can stick together. I’ll stick with Ethan, so we’ll meet you at the Right Foot Stage at around 8:30, if anything I brought an extra battery pack so I can text y'all.” You smiled at the group before the five of you split. 

“You ready to see a real rock show?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, maybe its a good idea that Gray didn't come, he’d be freaking out about Chase, he’s the one who got me into them.” Ethan laughed as the two of you walked by multiple vendors trying to sell the two of you things you really didn't need. 

“Get your free bracelet for the opportunity to meet State Champs!” A vendor yelled as you walked by, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. You weren't sure if it was the State Champs t-shirt you decided to wear with a pair of high waisted black shorts and your trusty Sk-8 Hi black Vans, or if it was the multiple home-made SC patches that decorated our backpack, that made the lady yell the moment you passed by.

“E, give me a second.” You whispered, before you hauled ass towards the booth with the lady who was yelling. “Hi, is it true you’re giving fans a chance to meet State Champs?”

“Yup, I saw your patches and I couldn't let the opportunity pass. So, it is a free meet and greet, all you have to do is watch this video, its only 2 minutes long so it won't take too much time out of your day, then after its done, we’ll go ahead and give you a bracelet for the meet and greet at 1:30 at the tent right next door.” She explained pointing at the places that you needed to go to, to be able to meet your favorite band at the festival.

“Can I get to meet them too?” The hazel eyed boy asked from beside you.

“Sure, just go ahead and watch a quick video and I’ll give you a bracelet to meet them at 1:30 at the tent next door.” She gave him the same smile she gave you, pointing everything out. The video was short and to the point, don't smoke, it'll kill you. “Thank you so much for watching the video, and here are the bracelets you need to meet State Champs. The meet and greet will start at 1:30 so if you want to get here before hand thats alright.”

“Thank you!” The two of you yelled, walking away from the tent not sure what to do next. “So are there any bands you wanna see?” 

“DID YOU SEE THAT?!” Ethan yelled coming back up from behind you, you had to admit that you were surprised to see Ethan actually crowd surf his way to the front where Mayday Parade was playing.

“Of course I did, and you're gonna be happy I got that all on film.” You laughed at him, with the camera in your hand. You and your friends were concert goers but not brave enough to crowd surf yet. “This video is going to be killer to edit next week.”

“Dont worry I’ll get Gray to edit it since he was too sick to come along.” Ethan laughed looking over the crowd as they jumped and danced along to the band covering Blink-182′s Girl at The Rock Show. “Not even at Coachella are people this hyped to see their favorite band or artist. We need to come to more of these.”

“Some of the bands have been making music since a lot of these kids were young, they grew up hearing these bands. Warped is decently priced so this might be some of these peoples only chance of seeing their favorite band live.” You explained as the lead singer, Derek thanked the crowd for letting them play main stage, and said they would be playing their last song next, which was a fan favorite. “Come on E, Mayday’s almost done, so that means its almost 1:30, its time to meet State Champs.”

~~

“Next please!” The already annoyed merch employee yelled as some kids stepped out of the tent.

“Holy shit E, it really is them!” You mumbled covering your mouth as you and Ethan stepped into the tent.

“Hey yall, how’s warped tour going?” Derek, the lead singer asked as the two of you came face to face with one of your favorite bands in the last couple of years.

“It’s good so far, it’ll be even better once I see yall play! By the way, can I get a hug please?” You asked almost shaking, this band was the reason you got out of the comfort zone of your hometown and are the reason you moved to L.A., they gave you the courage to do everything you were scared to do before.

“Come on in here!” Ryan, one of the guitarists laughed bringing you in for a bone crushing hug. “You to my man! Hugs for everyone.” E’s laugh rumbled through the tent as the group of you came in for a group hug. You never thought that you’d ever be able to meet them, much less hug them.

“Can we get a group picture?” Ethan asked this time, you’d honestly forgotten about asking for picture with them, being in the same city as them was good enough for you.

“Sure, anything you guys wanna do?” Tyler, the other guitarist asked.

“How about 90′s rap cover group picture?” You asked shaking out of your state of shock. “Honestly its the only thing I can think of and I’m just remembering the photo of pigeons that looked like they were about to drop the greatest rap album of the century.”

“I know which one you’re talking about! Dude I honestly didn’t think anyone remembers that photo.” Tony, the bass player grinned at the thought of the pigeon photo. Handing over his phone, Ethan quickly squatted down in front of you, Derek doing the same as the rest of the band stood next to you, allowing you to be in the center of the picture. 

“Thank you again for coming to Warped Tour, thank you for being a fan of us and allowing us to come out and play all away across the country from our hometown.” Evan said giving you another hug. 

“Thank you all as well, your music gave me the courage to move out of my little hometown to L.A., without ya’ll, I don’t know where I would be.” You grinned, before you hugged all of them one last time. “Can’t wait to see yall play later!”

~~

“I still can’t believe that we met State Champs, they’re all as beautiful as they look like on Instagram.” You gushed biting into one of the ice pops the two of you bought for way too much.

“(Y/N), that was like two hours ago, you even got to see them live. How are you still going on about them?” Ethan asked chucking the stick into the nearest trashcan, it’d been a couple of hours since State Champs played and the two of you decided to wonder around the festival grounds.

“I don’t know, their music gave me so much courage to be myself, they’re the reason why i’m standing here in San Diego, because without them I wouldn’t have moved to L.A., met you, Gray, Carla, Jack, and Kevin, and without yall, I wouldnt have gotten the chance at meeting them.” You explained grinning at Ethan. “I really do owe it all to them. So, anyways, what do you wanna do now? We have a couple more hours till Chase, so we have time to do anything you want.”

“We haven’t filmed anything for the vlog in a while, why don’t we find a place to sit, and talk to the viewers.”

“Sorry it’s been a minute since we’ve updated you, but the group was disbanded so we could watch the bands we wanted to watch. What bands have we seen today?” Ethan asked, looking between you and the camera the two of you set up on an empty picnic table you were able to grab.

“We’ve seen Mayday Parade, we got to see a part of 3OH!3′s set, which was at more lit than I thought it was going to be, we saw my band State Champs, go follow them on all social media you wont regret it, when we finally got out of the pit, we got to see the last couple of songs for Simple Plan, and we just finished watching Bowling For Soup’s set. For those who dont know, Warped Tour is consisted of six different stages, the Journey’s Left Foot and Right Foot stage are the two main stages of the festival, while the other four are smaller stages, two are for the heavier bands and the other two are for smaller bands. Anyways, the reason we’ve seen 5 bands, is because they’ve been on the Left and Right stages so they’re right next to each other. Now we’re waiting for Chase Atlantic’s set and we’re going to meet back up with the group to watch All Time Low, another band you should go and follow on all social media, just follow all the bands, they’re all good.”

“Wow, talk about that plug. But I have to admit, their music has been really good, a lot of music you could work out too for sure. Oh, we also met (Y/N)’s favorite band State Champs, and they were actually really cool, they seemed really down to earth,” Ethan started before you gestured to put the photo in the video. “Insert picture here, I dont know how it looks and (Y/N), chose the pose, so if we look like idiots, blame (Y/N).”

“Hey, I’m giving them quality content, so you’re welcome.” You sassed looking down at your phone. “My friend from back home is mad at me that I’m Warped without her, and shes telling me to go check out a band if they haven’t played yet. Can I borrow your phone, to see if they’ve played yet?”

“So demanding,” Ethan joked as you grabbed his phone out of his hand. “If you have a chance at trying to come to one of these shows, do it. If you don’t mind walking around for hours, or being around large groups of people, and some of these band’s fans do go hard and start moshing, but if you don’t mind any of that, it something everyone should do at least once in their life.” 

“Hey, the band my friend is talking about is going to play in like 30 minutes, can we head over? It’s on the same page Chase Atlantic is playing at.”

~~

“We’re With Confidence, we’re all the way from Sydney, Australia, thank you so much for letting us play few songs for you guys today!” The lead singer, and also bassist said smiling. “I’m Jayden, this beautiful man on guitar is Inigo, and this equally beautiful man on drums is Josh. If you guys dont mind we’ll be meeting any one that wants to meet us, right at our tent over there, it’s big and pink you cant miss it. We’ll be signing your things and if you want, you can pre-order our album coming out at the end of the summer, and you can get both a physical and digital copy when you buy today.” 

“Oh my god, do you hear those accents? Why are they so beautiful?” You gushed as they played a new song coming out on the album they were talking about. Like most of the other songs they had played, they were all high energy, the kids up at the barricades were jumping along to the beat, and some of the kids in the middle of the crowd were opening up the pit for a circle pit, the dust flying up into the air as they ran around in a circle. That was one of the perks of being far from the barricades, and on the outside perimeter of the pit, you were able to see everything, and how the kids were reacting to the band. “I’ve never heard of this band, but they are amazing, i’m definitely signing up for a CD.”

“First, State Champs, now these guys? Who don’t you love, (Y/N)?” Ethan sighed, rolling his eyes as you got footage of the band and of the kids in the moshpit.

“I fall easily, all it takes is a pretty face and an amazing accent.” You stuck your tongue out at Ethan as the band started to play their final song.

“This entire video is going to be just you meeting bands.”  Ethan laughed as you pulled him to the meet and greet line for With Confidence.

“Hey, i’m at least giving you content E, you would have probably just pranked Gray if it wasnt for me.” You grinned at the camera knowing it was true.

“I mean true.”

“And, i’m giving your Instagram followers content as well, y’all have no idea how many times E has taken his shirt off today because of how warm it got, and he’s definitely gotten some stares from some of the kids here.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault it’s gotten warm!” He explained grabbing the camera from you, pointing it at himself as he tried to defend his actions.

“Um, I told you to wear shorts and a tank top, but no! I know how to dress for a festival, and its not going to get hot.” You mocked Ethan, grabbing the camera out of his hands as you used his cool voice. “And here he is suffering in black plaid jeans and a white long sleeve.” Laughing you showed the viewers the outfit he decided to wear to a summer festival.

“Well you’ll be the one complaining later when we go and see All Time Low, and you’re freezing.” Ethan shot back as one of the security guards started allowing the first kid to meet With Confidence.

“That’s what you think! While you were meeting some of fans, I went and bought myself an All Time Low hoodie so HA!” You laughed, shoving the camera towards Ethan to grab the hoodie you got from your favorite band. “They didnt have my size so I had to get the next size up, but its so comfortable guys.” You could already feel the shift in temperature so it was the perfect time to put on your hoodie. The hoodie reached below the hem of your shorts, and the sleeves went passed the tips of your fingers with ease, it looked like you were ready for bed, not ready to rock out at a concert.

--

Meeting With Confidence was a whole other experience, they were so happy to see people lining up to meet them. They were constantly thanking you and Ethan for being there to see them, and giving their band a chance. They were happy to hear that you were going to buy a CD and a couple of shirt from their merch stand, and were like that with the kids before and after you. A couple of heavier bands later, and Chase Atlantic started to play is when you started recording the crowd’s reaction to the band. Both you and Ethan realized that the music they’ve released, is played differently live. Rather than the sensual RnB vibe, they sounded like all the other rock bands that played that day. Midway through their set they thanked everyone for stay to see them play since they were one of the last bands playing that day, as they continued to thank the crowd, Ethan grabbed the camera and started recording the crowd from his perspective. This is something that the two of you had been doing all day, so both of you could enjoy the band, and it would give Gray more angles to edit. Its once Ethan started recording the crowd and the band that he realized how well you knew the lyrics to the songs. You swayed when the music slowed, you jumped along to the kick drum, you spun around as the lead singer sang the lyrics all the kids in the crowd knew. Ethan stepped back and started recording you as the lead singer stopped singing, allowing the crowd to sing the lyrics to one of their more famous songs. Although the temperatures continued to lower, that wasnt causing the blush on Ethan’s cheeks to appear.

“Alright, this is going to be the last song we play tonight, thank you for allowing us to play here to night, and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of the evening.” The lead singer, Mitchel, thanked as the band started playing the last song.

“E, come on! We need to head to the Right Foot Stage, Carla, Kevin and Jack are already there!” You yelled, literally pulling him out of his day dream and out of the crowd. As the two of you ran to one of the last stages still up, the two of you could hear the sea of kids singing along to some of the songs that were playing through the speakers, waiting for the final band to play. “Look, there they are!”

--

“Thank you guys so much!” Alex thanked the crowd before he started the last song of San Diego’s Warped Tour. 

“I’ve got your picture, i’m coming with you. Dear Maria count me in, theres a story at the bottom of this bottle and i’m the pen!” The entire crowd sang as, Alex, Jack and Zack jumped around the stage and around Rian, who was playing the drums. By the time the lot of you had gotten to the stage, you were a good twenty yards away from the stage, but it didnt bother you. If anything it allowed your group to step back, and be able to dance along to the songs you grew up with. It also gave Ethan the opportunity to record you guys without being shoved around in the pit. Then the song reached the long awaited climax, as Jack and Alex threw their guitars across the stage, the confetti cannons showered the crowd in multi colored paper. Although the sounds of the cannons startled Ethan, he never took his eyes off you as the pieces of paper fell around you. It was the gasp that made you stop spinning around to look at Ethan. 

He could have sworn that the sound of the crowd drowned out his gasp, but apparently it was loud enough for you to hear and stop spinning. It was the smile that put the nail in the coffin for Ethan. It was the biggest, and the realest smile he’s ever seen from you. Since the beginning of your friendship with Ethan, there was a difference in it. It wasn’t a normal friendship the two of you shared, it was something more. although the two of you refused to admit it. The two of you could lean on each other, the two of you were closer than even the fans knew about, and a majority knew how close the two of you lead on. The two of you talked about everything, from things that you saw that reminded you of each other, to desires of what you wanted to do in both the near and far future. When you started talking about how you wanted to go to the Last Cross Country Warped Tour, Ethan instantly jumped on the chance to buy the two of you tickets. So, no, Grayson wasn’t sick, he knew about the little plan his twin brother was creating. But since you weren’t aware, you invited your friends, who weren’t aware of the plan Ethan was planning either, along since they also had tickets.

The thing was, you had a plan up your sleeve as well. You knew from the very beginning that your friends were going to be watching groups you and Ethan hadnt heard of before, so you knew you would have some time with Ethan without feeling pressured by your friends to make a move. Through out the day the two of you laughed at random jokes, you shared your drinks and food with each other, you even encouraged each other to do things you’d never have the guts to do if you were by yourself. As the day continued, the two of you held on to each other as the bands you were watching played the slow song of the set. You hugged Ethan longer, and harder after meeting With Confidence, and State Champs, quietly thanking him for sharing the experience with you. With a smile still on your face, you brought Ethan in for a hug, one harder than any of the ones the two of you had shared before.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what today means to me. It wouldnt have been the same without you.” You confessed looking up at him.

The look in your eyes were ones Ethan had never seen before. There was something about them that were different, but looked familiar.

Its the look my parents have when they look at each other. You realized as Ethan looked down at you, swaying the two of you back and forth. As the song started to fade, you started to stand on your tip toes as Ethan started to lead down. Little did the two of you know that your friends were sneakily taking a photo of the moment, something they had been doing all day. Besides seeing their favorite bands, your friends knew of the plan through Grayson, and were capturing the moments neither of you were getting on camera. What a better way to end Warped Tour in the arms of someone you cared for deeply, and that care for you the same way.

[bluejaysgonerogue]

I’m Sorry PT.2-Stucky x Reader

Read first part first!

Warning; Mentions of S***ide, cutting, extreme depression,

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Please, dive in.

—

I stop shading the background of a picture, looking up at the New York City Lights.

If you need me

Wanna see me

You better hurry

Cause I'm leaving soon

Sorry can't Save me now

Sorry I don't know how

Sorry there's no way out

But down

Mmm

Down

I skip the song, not wanting to think of jumping off this roof. I made them a promise, and I will keep that promise even if they hate me for it.

Promise us you won't ever die because you don't have us with you.

They had said those words with such seriousness as they sat with me on stools at the island. I had nodded my head, agree and telling them the same before we all kissed.

It's not true

Tell me I've been lied to

Crying isn't like you

Oh-oh-oh

I let a single tear fall down my cheek as I think of the pained looks they gave me. The first day I stopped sleeping with them, they looked so sad the next morning. When Steve had gone to pour my tea, he had found I had already finished the job. And added the cream Bucky usually drops in.

What the hell did I do?

Never been the type to

Let someone see right through

Oh-oh-oh

I had wiggled  out of their passionate hugs from behind, shrugged off their shoulder kisses. I stopped going to dinner, lunch and breakfast, residing with tony in his lab. Steve and Bucky took turns dropping off food, but I eventually stopped eating

Maybe won't you take it back

Say you were tryna make me laugh

And nothing has to change today

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you and I don't want to

They had confronted me a week after I left their room, asking me what was wrong and cupping my face and kissing my head and face. I told them I had rethought a lot since I had died and that I wanted to play the field. So, after they had started to leave me alone, I'd go to bars and hookup and date people. They didn't matter- just greedy people who wanted the chance to be in Stark Tower with the Avengers. Hell, one idiot even tried to steal nats underwear, and he didn't leave without a limp and a dislocated shoulder.

Oh-oh-oh

Up all night on another red eye

I wish we never learned to fly

high

I had gone to LA for a few weeks, meeting youtubers who wanted to feature me in their videos. I dated a guy for a hot minute, posting only one video with him. We had gotten this idea to reenact cute couple photos. We did, he edited it and posted. I stalked the comments from my hotel room, seeing that the YouTube account Steve and Bucky had set up had commented a few paragraphs. The guys fans got really toxic and hated on stucky, some calling them fags. Ugh. I hate that word so much.

Maybe we should just try

To tell ourselves a good lie

I didn't mean to make you cry

In the airport, after my flight, tony had Happy drive me back. I, Of course, didn't know that Steve and Bucky we're having meltdowns in the back of the car. After about ten minutes, I practically forced happy to pull over and let me sit in the passenger seat up front. We had sat in silence as we listened to the sobs of my exes.

"Yknow, tony told me they had been crying the whole time you were gone." Happy had said when we were on a less crowded freeway.

“I know." I had said, while giving a blank stare out the window.

"Could you maybe-just maybe- try forgiving them? All they want is you kid."

"I know."

"Look, you don't get love like that. It's once in a lifetime sorta thing. You gotta stick with it when you got it, because you never know when you're going to loose them."

"Happy, look, I'm just in the way of their relationship. Once they get over it, I know they will be happier without me, eventually." I give him the first reason why I'm doing this.

"Okay kid. Okay."

Maybe won't you take it back

Say you were tryna make me laugh

And nothing has to change today

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you and I don't want to

Bucky and I had to spar for fury. The man had us in minimal clothing for some goddamn reason. And we all know how hot Bucky is with no top on. So of course I let it slip.

“Heya Moss." Bucky called me by my last name, something he'd never done before.

"Hello Barnes." I usually called him Sarge or James. But never before has I called him Barnes. He looked pained, like a kicked puppy. I know I shouldn't've fallen for it, but I did.

"God I love you so much." I gave him a hug before realizing what I was going. I quickly pushed myself away, rushing out of the gym, out of the shield base, and out of New York. I took a plane out to Columbus Ohio for a change in scenery. Went and saw some local bands, ate some of the best Chinese ever, and had a lot of one night stands.

The smile that you gave me

Even when you felt like dying

We fall apart as it gets dark

I'm in your arms in Central Park

There's nothing you could do or say

I can't escape the way, I love you

I don't want to, but I love you

When I came back to the tower, Natasha had actually ambushed me with hugs. She held me close and pulled me towards Steve and Bucky's Room.

In fact, that's where I am right now. Standing outside their door with Natasha's arm around my shoulder. She knocks, getting a weak 'go away' in response.

"Cmon, Ash. Say something. Sing something, just do something. They've been doing horribly. They stopped eating when Bucky came back full out bawling and in tears after the sparring incident. The team doesn't know why you started avoiding those two. We all know how close you guys are.  Please ash they've been more miserable than I was after Clint." She stops for a moment. A vow she took to take a moment of silence after saying his name. "Please Ash. Say something to them. You're the only one they'll open the door to."

I look at her, a dumbfounded expression on my face.

"Nat, it's been three and a half months. They should be over me."

"Well, they aren't."

"Natasha, I don't deserve those angels. They're literal human gods. They're the perfect two people to be together. They're so compatible it's unbelievable. I throw that off nat. I throw off their relationship Becuase they feel like they can't just give each other attention, they have to give me attention too. Nat, I love those shïtheads more than I love the team. But, I hold them back. So I let them go. Natasha, it's 4 am, I just got away from some creepo who tried to take my uterus. I am not in the mood to deal with two crying men. Especially not the only two who I would actually cry for. So please, tell everyone to stop circling me in and let me go to my room." By now, all of the avengers, save tony, bucky, Steve and of course nat, has formed a circle around the door and me, all in full armor. Hell, Loki had created some fücking forcefield or something to keep me unable to go anywhere aside from inside that door.

"Ash, you have to pull your big girl panties up and admit that they can't function without you."

"They did just fine for a few months." I retort, staring Wanda and Natasha down.

"Loki, can your just pull them out? Or put her in there butt naked? Please?" Sam looks bored at this point, determined to get away from here and back onto his couch.

"Woah woah woah, no way in hell that is going to happen." I sigh, finally realizing they've cornered me. "Damn you guys are evil."

I turn to the door, putting my fingers on the glossy paint of the door. i let it rest there for a while, tears threatening  to fall down my face as my lip trembles.

"Say something I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would've followed you." I finally let the tears fall, choking me as I sing the song they should be singing.

"Say something in giving up on you." I wait a second before continuing. "And I. Am feeling so small. It was over my head. I feel nothing at all."

I lean my forehead against the door, my breath fogging up the paint. "And I.  Will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love. Just starting to crawl." I really was new to love. They were my first real relationship, of course.

"Say something im giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would've followed you. Say something im giving up on you." Instead of the strong voices used in the recording, I use my head voice, softly as it cracks with my sobs.

"And I. Will swallow my pride. You're the ones that I love. But I'm saying goodbye." I fall to my knees, feeling the eyes of my teammates burning a hole in the door.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. And anywhere, I would have followed you. oh say something, I'm giving up on you" I'm starting to give up on them. Maybe they won't forgive me. Honestly, I wouldn't blame them if they never did. I'm a horrible person for what I did to them.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something" I just collapse against the door, my back and head falling against it. I cry, looking up at the grey ceiling. I stop singing, talking softly now. I know that if they tried, they could hear me.  "Say something"

"I'm so sorry. God I'm such a mess. I miss you guys. So much. I miss cuddling, I miss talking. I miss sleeping in between you two. I miss making you guys breakfast in bed in the rare occasion you guys weren't up before me. God I'm such a goddamned idiot. I'm so new to love. God, I've never let myself get this close to anyone before you two came along and crashed my party of one. God, I miss you two. So, so, so much. Y'know, Happy told me that you guys were miserable. God I'm so sorry I left you in the car. That should've done it. But it didn't. Because I'm the fücking idiot that I am and I took you two angels for granted." I pause, turning my torso to rest my hand on the doorframe. "God, I miss curling up in your tops, snuggling into your sweaters when I'm sick. I actually miss the empty feeling when you two are both gone on missions without me. I miss climbing into our closet and sitting on the floor between your clothes. I miss the sandalwood smell I get when Steve's been gone, and I miss the smell of cedar that becomes potent when Bucky gone alone.  I miss everything about you guys and I don't know how I'm still alive and here. I don't know why I haven't just jumped off the roof of this tower."

That's when it happens. The door flips open and my head is caught by a warm lap. I am pulled inside the dark, musty smelling room, the door slammed after I'm inside. I look at the guy who's lap I fell in, only to not recognize him.

"Who are you?" I ask after a quick look at his face. He has long, long deep blonde hair and an unkept and unforgettably long beard. His eyes are a dull blue, and his face is tear stained. I look around his neck, breathing in his scent. "Cedar... Wait Steve?" I look at him. He looks like shït. And he's just staring at me with a blank expression.

"Oh my god Steve are you okay? Have you even gotten up lately? Why are your eyes so dull, why'd you grow your beard out so long? Why haven't you cut your hair? Where's Bucky?" I ambush him with questions as I look his face over, taking it inbetween my hands and moving it around so I can inspect him.

"Wait Steve why are you wearing long-" I pause for a moment, realizing what I'm saying.  "Oh my god Steve no. God no. Please god please please please no tell me you didn't." He doesn't say anything, but the slight movement in his face tells me everything.

"Shit." I takes me a split second to trip his sleeves up, seeing the scars and lines of dried blood. They're deep, but healing well thanks to that serum. "You idiot. If it weren't for that serum you'd be dead and I couldn't yell at you for being so stupid. I mean, Nomad you at least took care of himself. Why'd you do that Steve? Why did you start-" I stop again, already knowing the answer. "Oh god I hate myself so much right now. What the hell is wrong with me. I can't even make up for the shit I've caused you. Damn I'm such a mess. Going around town and keeping beds warm. God I missed you Steve. I'm so sorry I'm such an idiot for leaving you two. I'm such a goddamned blind dense idiot-"

He cuts me off, pulling me to his chest and kissing my forehead. I let him sit there for a second, sighing as I finally feel at home. And then I remember.

"Bucky." I get up off of Steve, searching around the room for the brunette. My eyes sift through the piles of dirty clothes littering the floor. I rake through the closet before my eyes land on the bed.

"Dear god." I see him, gauze on his arm. He's collapsed in the bed, a pillow underneath his head and a blanket tucked around him. I rush over, jumping into the bed and inspecting him.

His arm is wrapped in bandages, his metallic arm slightly corroded. His eyes are staring at the ceiling, his mouth slightly ajar. "Steve?" He asks, low and slow. I let more tears fall from my eyes as I place my hand over his, lifting it to my lips.

"Oh god buck... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so, so, so sorry. God I'm such a fück up. I always leave you guys behind, letting you watch me from behind. What did I ever do to deserve you two... because I honestly don't. You two are angels in every way, and I'm the personification of hell... god Bucky why'd you do this..." his cuts are deeper than Steve's, almost to the bone. Most are healed over, the only fresh one on his upper bicep.

"Ash?" He asks, still not looking over. I let out a small cry, holding the back of his hand to my forehead. He moves his hand down, letting it rest on my cheek.

"Yeah baby?" He uses his hand to guide me above him. I can't stop the tears, hearing them hit the fabric as he moved me above him. His eyes are dull, blank, lifeless as they stare up at me. There's a small spark once his eyes focus, hope, before it fade away again.

"Is it really you this time?" He mutters, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Yeah. It's me. I promise buck. I promise I'm back home sarge. And I promise I'm never going to leave you two again." I give his forehead a light kiss before hugging him, my nose finding the crook of his neck. I feel Steve come and lay behind me, putting an arm around my waist lightly.

"Good." Bucky turns on his side facing me, his fleshy warm arm finding its way behind my lower back, pulling me closer to him. Steve shifts forward, placing a sweet kiss on my neck. Bucky pecks my lips before closing his eyes. After a few minutes I hear him and Steve lightly snoring. I open my eyes to see Bucky looking peaceful for, which I would later find out, the first time in a long time.

|—☆—|

I wake up, a soft light seeping in through the curtains. I try to roll over, only to be stopped by two pairs of hands.

"Oh no, you're staying right here." Bucky's husky morning voice breaks the silence as I huff back down onto the covers. He smiles, his sunken eyes and pale face making me frown slightly.

I pull Bucky closer to me, Steve groaning slightly at more movement. "Go back to sleep babe..." he mumbles, pulling me closer to his chest.

"How can I? You two are too cute to miss a second of taking in those features." I smile as I brush my fingers over his beard. I kiss his forehead, smiling before turning to Bucky.

"Wait... how come Buck doesn't have a beard?" I ask, brushing my fingers along his stubble. He looks me in the eyes, a warm, comforting feeling falling over me.

"I remembered how you said you like me clean shaven... so I shave." He says, a smirk on his face as he scoots closer to me and Steve.

"Ok mister crowd pleaser." I give him a quick kiss, nestling myself closer to him and Steve.

|—☆—|

It took us literally until 1 in the afternoon to want to get up.

Steve has left first, going to the bathroom and taking a shower. Bucky followed close behind, then I joined him the the shower and helped him wash his hair. They had already gotten dressed in simple jeans and T-shirt's, now cleaning up some of the messes they made.

I look down at myself. I'm wearing a pair of black cotton leggings, converse, yet I have no top on. Then it hits me. 'Bucky's sweaters!' I walk over to the dresser, reaching down to open the sweater drawer before I suddenly stop.

"Maybe they don't want me to wear them right now..." I breathe out, letting my hand fall by my side. I mean, I did leave them. And return their sweaters. I mean, I know that they used to love me in them, and I love wearing them becuase they smell like  Steeb and buck, but may-

"Go on ash." Bucky's smooth voice rings throughout the room, interrupting my inner conflict.

I freeze for a second, suddenly having difficulty breathing at the same rate. I slowly turn around, letting my head fall to the side as my face contorts into a confused jumble of anxiety and fear. 

"Wha...?" I let the word slip out of my mouth, my breathing hitching.

"Go on doll. Take a sweater or two." He smiles, using the pet name he gave me when we first met.

I stand, my arms against the bar as I look out into the ensemble of people. A man with brown hair, with strikingly blue eyes sits next to me, getting a beer from the bartender.

"Hello doll. Why are you alone on such a night?" He asks, a small smirk gracing his angelic features.

"Well, some boys cheat and don't cover it up too well." I say, looking out around the crowd before watching my ex, Conrad, dancing with some blonde chick in a skimpy dress.

After a second, the man breaks the comfortable silence. "Ah, so he's a disloyal idiot then."

I turn my head to him, tilting my head to the side and back as my eyebrows furrow together. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, doll, any guy who get with you should stay loyal no matter what." He smiles as he sips his beer. "You're cute, and I can tell your Smart, witty, and filled with some sort of fire inside you."

"Well, it's nice to meet you sir. Names Ash. Ashlynd Moss." I smile, extending a hand to him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Ash. I'm James." A metal arm reaches out to bring my hand up to his lips. I look at the small amount of the arm that is exposed, infatuated with the intricacy of it- even from a distance. He pulls his hand away quickly, moving it behind his back. "I-I'm sorry about that..."

"No no no, please it's nothing. In fact," I use my left hand to break the seal of the silicone on my hand. I pull the rubbery material off, sliding off the sleeve aswell. "I know exactly how you feel."  I let my metallic Vibranium appendage shine between us. (It starts in the middle of the lower half of her arm)

"Wow, that's beautiful doll."

I smile at Bucky, turning and opening the drawer. I take out his biggest, fluffiest blue and red sweater, pulling it on. The neckline falls off my shoulder and the hem is at my mid thigh, but I love it.

"Thank you James." I smile, raising the sleeve to my nose to let the sandalwood invade my lungs. I go over and sit between Steve and Bucky, leaning my head on Steve shoulder.

We sit in silence for a while, just looking at each other and kissing lightly. I stare down at my right hand for a while, contemplating if I should take off the cover or not.

"Oh fuck it." I say internally, egging myself on. I push up on the latex, breaking the seal. My hand pulls at each of the fingers, breaking the suction between the metal the the fleshy material. I pull lightly on the bottom of the sleeve before pushing it down from above.

"Ash, why?" Steve mutters, both his and Bucky's eyes burning into my back.

"Because, I except you guys fully for who you are, and you do the same, then why should I have to hide this huge part of myself?" I turn around and look at him and Bucky. I give them a small smile, getting big goofy ones in return.

"It isn't a huge part of you ash." Steve says, nuzzling into my neck.

"Steve, I lost a third of my arm. That's a huge part of me." I roll my eyes, kissing the top of his head.

"Physically, Maybe it's a huge part of you, but emotionally? No. It's not a part of who you are Ashlynd. It's something that made you who are today.

"Steve, I lost my arm to a red room newbie. That's despicable. I had finished the graduation ceremony, and the kid came up, broke my bone clean and ripped the flesh off." I look down at the fingers. Flexing them in and out.

"Maybe that did happen doll, but it doesn't mean anything." Bucky kisses my cheek. "You're still the best girl out there."

"So you're saying I can't beat you or clint?" I smile quietly as I say these words, leaning away from Steve to look Bucky in the eye.

“No." Bucky takes my metal hand in his, stroking it lightly. "But I am saying you're better than Natasha. At least."

[discofreaks]

Disco Freaks meets... Leee John

There is, quite simply no-one else like Leee John. And I don't think there ever will be. He is an absolute dream. A few of my friends have a dedicated WhatsApp group to the 80s icon after they fell in love with his social media output. Which is obviously a little odd, but you get the point.

We met on two afternoons, once at The Union in Soho, a members club in the middle of Greek Street, Soho. The second was at the incredibly regal setting of the Landmark Hotel, Marylebone. Believe it or not, both venues were chosen by Leee. We didn't feel Cafe 338 on Bethnal Green Road was appropriate. The two occasions we met he left quite an impact on us. Born in Hackney and raised in New York he has a few stories to tell and in his own words he can “talk for Christmas.”

There are facts about his life he could drop into conversation that are quite unbelievable. The kind of tales you'd hear from an eccentric chap in a bar, that you’d dismiss but humour anyway. Like the time he was a young lad and the first major person in the music industry he performed to was Marvin Gaye, or that he has recorded a track with MC Skibadee. It sounds too good to be true, but there you have the wonder of Leee John and Imagination, it is all a bit out of this world.

With all the stories and flamboyance he is also a successful and well-respected artist. His iconic and sultry vocals fronted Imagination; a band who both musically and visually were so influential to 1980s pop culture. Matching outrageous outfits inspired by Funkadelic with sensual performances, they produced some of the most loved disco-flavoured hits the UK ever had.

Hollywood movies and struggles

What I loved about Leee the most during our two meetings in 2017 is he would talk with the same authority about classic Hollywood and what he described as schmaltzy movies, in the same way he would discuss the struggles black artists have in the UK. And he would switch between such topics seamlessly. Leee was then, and is still now, working on a film about the history of British black musicians called Flashback. He’s currently working through hundreds of interviews with black artists who also happen to be some of the most successful people in music this country has to offer. So he knows what he is talking about.

Leee arrived to meet me appropriately dressed; black leather jacket, burgundy skinnies, a paisley cravate and a ring on each finger, holding a copy of his new album Retropia. The highlight of his set was a huge purple gem stone that he told me removed any stresses he has in his life. The clothing ensemble was accompanied with his iconic beret. It’s a look.

An added quirk of our second chat was Eric Cantona making a guest appearance. This bearded icon was just kicking a pebble round the Landmark on a Wednesday night while on the phone. As you can imagine, I was a little distracted but desperate not to look disrespectful by making a note of seeing him. When we stopped recording I had to point out the former actor and noted French footballer (still on the phone) to Leee. Of course Leee had met him in France before.

After the interview I assumed a driver or maybe a rocket would come to collect Leee. But instead we both got on the normal tube where he treated me to an extra edition of off the record showbiz tales. When he disembarked, some of the passengers/audience looked at me and I gave them a nod and mouthed ‘I know.’ 

Leee was here to promote his new album Retropia. But, over the hour, he kept to his promise and talked for Christmas - and a little bit for Easter and bank holiday too. 

I hope you have Leee’s voice and the setting all locked in and you enjoy these pearls of wisdom from the voice of a soul and funk legend.

Leee on ....

Getting a photo with The Jacksons

I used to write for ‘West Indian World’, that was run by a guy called Arif Ali. He allowed me and a friend to go off and we would do all the showbiz section so we would watch all the groups like The Supremes, George Benson and Brothers Johnson who I remember interviewing.

We tried to be older, I remember interviewing Brothers Johnson and I didn't shave or anything like that. But now I try to look younger, you know.

It was a doorway to understanding how the industry was. Meeting all the different artists, Natalie Cole, Ray Parker Jr, The Jacksons, we got a picture with The Jacksons actually. It was by the time I did Imagination I was kind of prepared.

I wanted to study my craft and to study your craft you gotta really get down and work. and that meant getting on the road, playing pubs and bingo halls and working men’s clubs and you're on your knees baby, carrying the sound equipment.

I did so much amazing grounding work. I was a singing waiter in the West End for nine months. I learnt the craft darling, you know, to get your equity card. That was a real turning point for me I was learning that and having to learn a lot of repertoire, a lot of songs, a lot of everything. And it was a long way from my club scene days. but it was great. Then I found myself in the studio doing some background vocals for Elvis Costello on an album. got a lot of money and ended up going St Lucia. It was a great time and this was all before Imagination.

When I was 15, I got signed when I was at school. We recorded at EMI and actually auditioned in the foyer of EMI. You know when you see in the movies, and they say ‘Okay kid sing for me, whaddya got?’ I remember singing some track we’d written. One of those people we sang for was Roy Fisher.

We recorded two tracks, they were no hits. But it taught me a great lesson. We were in the best studios we had the best session musicians, we had Gonzalez as our backing band. Lou Reed who at the time had a hit with Walk on the Wild Side, he had a backing band called ‘Thunder Thighs’. The part where he says ‘and all the coloured girls go do-do-do-do-do-do’ well they were singing on our track. So we all thought hey this is it, this is a hit. But no, it wasn’t a hit.

Singing for Marvin Gaye

Sometimes I do forget things, you know the old brain cells. But there have been some wonderful moments. I sang for Marvin Gaye in Soul Train. He did Soul Train and he was basically in the dressing room and I said, ‘there was a duet you did with Diana Ross called Light In My Window and it was really good and we used to dance to it - ‘why didn't you do it.’  - And he said: ‘Sing it to me kid, sing it to me.’

He was living in London then came back and gone really big with Sexual Healing. I passed the dressing room and he burst out and told me to come inside. They shut the door on the band and the manager. I was inside the dressing room with Marvin Gaye. I started singing Light in My Window and it has this organic feel this track, you should check it out if you can.

Collaborating with MC Skibadee

We did a thing called Retrospects a few years ago and we did a tune called Raver with Skibadee doing a rap on there.

(I told him about Skibadee playing in Margate back in the day.)

Being from of out of Space and getting lucky on TOTP

When Imagination first started we were so out there and so outlandish in our costume and our visual. Because the music, like Body Talk had really heavy base, very sexy, it had the lyrical content and the sound. And we could have easily been like the Four Tops and The Temptations up there in suits. but we decided to go for the Funkadelic way.

They thought we came out of space people were like, wow. We took stuff we liked from the Caribbean and a combination of that, and particularly in the 80s our following was so strong. And everyone looked and sounded so different. Nowadays if anyone wants they can sound like Beyonce, or look like Beyonce. But what we had in the UK with Imagination at that time was our own brand.

Everyone was flamboyant - Parliament, Funkadelic, early Earth Wind and Fire everyone dressed wild. When we came up in the early days, Kool and The Gang were kind of copying what we were doing because it was relative at that time.

Morgan Khan, our A and R guy was very crazy, very influential and very wild. When I went on stage he’d say, boy you gotta stroke that keyboard, you gotta be outrageous you gotta be out there. For black groups being on TV it was a phenomenon, you didn't see any black artists on TV, much less so British black artists and to make an impression was so important. I know that when we did that first performance, it is on YouTube now, it was legendary - the next day everybody was talking about it. It was in the papers, how we were going to get banned and all the rest of it.

I wasn't prepared for the first Top of the Pops performance but I was prepared for the work mode. I was totally nervous for the first TOTP. You did three or four different performances in the day, but everything was riding on it. Because we were there by fluke, because someone dropped out . That’s the only reason we were there. So that’s how life is, sometimes it’s a lucky break.

In some people’s terms I was flamboyant but if you look at other people like Eddy Grant in the late 60s, a black guy wearing blonde wigs. He told me we were doing just what he was doing which is like carrying on this kind of banter. I think that was good so it broke the ice. You couldn't put a black artist and just put them in one category. It made everyone question and that’s what you had to do, you have to push the button.

Recording We Will Rock You

I did a version of Highway to Hell. You know whether it is blues, jazz or rock, if you slow any song down that is the element. It comes from rhythm and blues. Like if you sing I Can’t Get No Satisfaction or something like that it is the same element. A lot of the rock artists, that is their influence, Muddy Waters and those kind of people.

I was in Paris doing an album with the Gibson Brothers (starts singing their tune Cuba) we are very good friends and do loads of shows together.

Basically,we were doing a completely different concept. I did a version, like Pharell, of We Will Rock You, that is in the can and no-one has heard it. Then we did decided to do Highway to Hell. Then I started singing the vocals and the background vocals. Then I went over to the UK and got Mark Vandergucht (Push, Galliano) to do all the bass guitar and all the you know (air-guitaring) “I’m just shaking ma locks” and we went back to where we recorded the album and tidied it all up.

I did it in one take and then did all the backgrounds. You see I do all my own harmonies anyway. So I kind of took it away from the Gibson Brothers in a sense from the concept we were doing for my album but they didn't mind. But I sung them a new track on their new album.

*at this point I asked ‘do you have to do a lot of favours with your voice?

It tells you all you need to know about Leee that he did not need to pause for thought when he answered ‘sometimes, sometimes, yes.’

Flashback  

It stems from the 20th century through to the 90s. I felt there were so many different artists that people just don’t know about. Because nowadays I feel youngsters don’t know this kind of music. I was lucky to grow up knowing Eddie Grant, Errol Brown and Clem Curtis from The Foundations, Light of the World and Junior there are just so many different bands.  

And there are so many different artists from the years that I felt people just don’t know.

I think people may know the music but probably think it’s from the States.

There aren't enough live platforms for groups if you play funk, soul, blues or jazz. It’s like if you’re a white group and you play rock music there is always a platform. There is always that kind of thing. If you play soul or funk, it’s like you have to have decks and a computer and I’m thinking that’s rubbish, because I still want to see someone play those chords and someone singing.

the mission

I think I will do a final Imagination album but I have an idea in my mind what that will be. I think I need to do that as there might not be people around who know us, so I want to get them in the studio before they’re gone!

I am doing a lot with the film side of stuff and Flashback, we have 400 hours over 200 different interviews, I’ve interviewed so many fascinating people who have loads of interesting stories and I think that needs to come to light.

I think that my mission is to really bring that to people around the world.

MB

[quileuteima-blog]

Learn something new

Paul x reader

Warnings: Swearing

This is kind of like a part 3 to the ones below, also i’m not sure which high school you meant for the reader to go to but i’m making it Fork’s high school so the reader has links to the Cullens etc, there will be more parts focusing on the tension between the pack and her friendship with the Cullens and about Paul telling the reader she’s his imprint

Imagine moving to La Push and becoming friends with the pack

Bonfire at La Push

Request:  I was hoping if maybe you were thinking of doing a third part following the Reader and Paul's growing relationship? Where maybe it skips time & she finds out they're shifters, while also learning Paul has Imprinted on her. Is that cliche? And she attends the high school, if that's implied in the first two parts and she knows the Cullen's? And then there's tension between her two different groups of Friends/acquaintances? Thanks!”

Disclaimer: i know this probably doesn’t go along with the storyline exactly with Bella hanging out with the Cullens at school etc but it’s just how I'm gonna write it, also this is long and probably spelling errors which i’ll correct when i edit it in the morning

It’s been 6 months since you moved to a new town, met new friends, and started at Forks high school. You were relieved that you knew at least one person at your new school when you started, which was Bella who you met at the bonfire. Bella has become a good friend since then, at school you hang out with her and Edward, Jasper, and Alice. You spend most of your time outside school hanging out with your friends from La Push, and having bonfires at the beach has become a bit of a tradition since they invited you to the first one.

 As it happens, there is going to be a bonfire tonight, Leah called you this morning to tell you. You would say you probably had the closest friendship with Leah, but you also had a good bond with Paul. He constantly likes to joke around with you and flirt endlessly, and you have to play it off like it doesn’t make you weak at the knees whenever he winks at you or calls you pet names.

You’re laying on the couch watching tv, when a text lights up your phone screen, pulling your attention of the show you were getting into. Reaching over to the table, you grab it and read the message off the lock screen

Bonfire tonight at the beach, you going?

-Paul

A bolt of excitement ran through your body when you read his name. You bit your lip, mentally scolding yourself for getting so happy over a text. Unlocking your phone you opened the conversation and tapped your reply:

You know it, see you there😊

-Y/N

You then threw your phone down next to you on the couch and turned your attention back onto the tv show, which you briefly forgot all about. You sighed and grabbed the remote, re-winding to where you were before your mind was full of thoughts of Paul, again. You only managed to watch two more minutes of your show before your phone caught your eye again. This time you paused the tv show before reading the text.

I bet you wish you could see more of me😜 Do you want me to give you a lift to the beach tonight?

-Paul

You smiled down at your phone, rolling your eyes at his line. It was kind of him to offer you a lift, but you a worried if you spend too much time alone with him that you won’t be able to keep your feelings disguised. You would tell him but you have a really good friendship you wouldn’t want to ruin, which is an excuse you use to convince yourself. But also Paul is a natural flirt, he’s like it with everyone, which you need to keep reminding yourself of.

You’re such a fuckboy, Lahote.😉 It’s alright I don’t mind walking, but thanks

-Y/N

Immediately your message was read and the typing icon popped up, you watched the three dots whilst you waited for his reply.

I might as well as I’m driving past yours anyway and it will save you walking in the dark, i’ll pick you up at 20:30

-Paul

The thing about Paul, that mainly just his friends know about him, is that underneath the flirting and the cheesy one-liners is a protective and loyal friend. The fact he was giving you a lift because of the thought you had to walk in the dark just made you fall for him more. You replied to Paul and thanked him, before returning to the tv show you were watching.

You checked the time on your phone, which read 19:49, and finished the episode you were on before getting yourself ready. You were done just in time when you heard the sound of breaks squeaking and the muffled music coming from Paul’s truck. You grabbed your phone, keys, and coat before going out the front door and locking it behind you. 

When you opened the door, and climbed into the passenger seat, music was blasting out the truck speakers and Paul was drumming along with his hands on the dashboard. Then he turned to face you, pretending to sing to you whilst miming along to the song. You grinned at him, watching his exaggerated facial expressions and hands, one held an invisible mic at his mouth and the other was doing those classic actions when singers get passionate. Thankfully the cheesy pop song ended and it faded into the radio hosts chatter, using this chance to greet you Paul turned the volume down and grinned at you “Looking lovely as always, y/n.” “Tell me something I don’t know” you retorted with a wink, hoping your quipped remark had hidden your blush. “I’m impressed, I’ve trained you well in the art of wit.” Paul said still grinning and placing his hands on the steering will, but his eyes were still locked on yours. You looked back into his eyes and something was different, they had a worried look about them. A frown hung on your face whilst you analysed Paul’s face more for any other signs he was concerned or maybe it was just you, but your gut told you that something was up. Paul must have seen by your expression that you could tell there was something not right, so he turned away to face the steering wheel before you could read into his face anymore. Paul was pulling onto the road when you faintly heard another song starting on the radio and immediately you recognised the tune, and apparently so did Paul as before you had a chance to turn the volume up he yelled “Turn it up!” You laughed and he let out a cheer as you turned the dial round. Oh baby, baby Paul drummed his hands along to the tune “Oh baby, baby. How was i supposed to know...” you both practically yelled along to the Britney song. The two of you sung passionately, occasionally  exchanging grins and Paul pointing to you when you did the “still believed” backing vocals. When the song finished you were both laughing and short of breath. Slowly Paul’s grin faded as the song no-longer distracted you from returning to your investigation of his facial expression and body language. You noticed his hands where shifting around on the steering wheel, and they clammed. However, you still didn't feel like you had enough reason to ask Paul what was going on without feeling like you were nagging him, so you continued to bite your lip. Instead you turned to face the views passing out the window, and you could feel Paul relax once your gaze left him; he knew you could read him like a book. It was obvious something was going on, Paul was never this quiet. There was no point you asking him though, he knew that you had caught on and he hasn’t said anything which means he won’t tell you anything if you ask. Soon enough you saw the beach car park out your window getting closer. Once Paul had finished parking you jumped out the truck and headed down the beach toward the figures surrounding a bonfire. 

As you approached Leah greeted you first with a hug, and Seth came running up to you also hugging you. “Hey guys, hope we haven’t kept you waiting to eat” you said stepping back from the siblings, you noticed that everyone was here sitting round the fire and that some of the guys were watching you almost in anticipation. “Nah don’t worry you haven’t been long, we only got here about five minutes ago” Seth said with his usual smile. “Where’s the grub?” you turned as Paul walked up from behind you and towards the food Emily held out towards him. After Emily got the food out it was like the flood gates had opened and now all the guys were getting their food too. You stood next to Leah, waiting for the others to sit down before getting your own food “What’s going on?” you asked your best friend under your breath, “what?” she turned to you with a frown “Something is going on. Paul was weird on the way here, I’ve never seen him so quiet, and everyone here seems like they're on the edge of seat like they’re about to give an intervention or something.” you looked back up at Leah and noticed by her expression that there was something she wasn’t telling you. You feel your eyes widen “oh my god, what? Is there an intervention?!” you panicked, your mind racing for any reason why the pack would be having an intervention for you. Leah laughed at your sudden panic, which set you at ease a bit, “No there is no intervention, you need to stop over-thinking. Come on let’s go get some food, if the boys have been kind enough to leave us any.” you agreed and sighed in relief. 

You all sat round the fire whilst you ate your dinner, the talking at an eerie small amount. You just concentrated on eating, but whilst you do you still notice strange behaviour. Looking up from your plate, you caught Embry’s gaze across the bonfire as he was looking at you. Awkwardly he smiled before quickly looking back down at his food, he didn’t even pull a funny face or throw any food. You hated the pack acting so seriously, it was freaking you out. You looked round at the rest of your friends and they looked nervous too, some playing were with their food and a few people quietly talked but there was no banter like normal. You decided you've had enough, breathing out a heavy sigh you got everyone’s attention “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” you frowned looking at your friends faces until you received an answer, until your gaze fell to rest on Paul’s face where he sat across from you. Clearing his throat he looked over to Sam, who nodded, before looking back at you “Well, we organised this bonfire as kind of a chance to tell you about our, er, our tribe” Paul’s words fumbled out as he spoke to you, and everyone sat quietly listening to him and watching you in anticipation. You had never felt so tense in your life, you’ve never seen Paul nervous before and everyone was watching you as if you were about to pass out. “ok?” you weren’t sure how to respond “Do you know about the Quileute legends?” Paul’s question baffled you, it was so random, you were not expecting the stories of their ancestors to be the topic of all this. “Uh” you tried to remember things your friends had told you, but your mind was blank “I mean you guys have told me bits and pieces, but i wouldn’t say i know much.” Paul had a small smile his face, seeing you were on edge he wanted to re-assure you “Our ancestors are said descend from wolves. Only a  couple people in our tribe have the ‘wolf gene’, and when they get to a certain age, or are exposed to um, certain types of people, they have their first phase.” Everyone watched you for your response or reaction, but you just paused to take in what he just said “What do you mean? Like being a goth phase?” you were genuinely confused, but your question made your friends laugh which lowered the intensity a bit. “Not exactly” Sam spoke up and you looked over to him “Phasing is when you change from human form to wolf, which could be because you need to defend yourself or you’ve lost your temper.” You looked round at your friends waiting for their expressions to break into grins to show they were joking, but the laughter or grins never came. “You mean like werewolves?” you said laughing nervously, you don’t understand why they are waiting so long to drop their act. “I guess you could say that, I think it would make sense to you if you got to see with your own eyes.” Sam said slowly, “i don't mind” Paul said to Sam whilst standing up “Ok, y/n don’t freak out this is going to seem really weird but i promise you won’t get hurt” Paul spoke to you calmly, as if he was a nurse about to give you an injection. Feeling overwhelmed by the whole random-ness of this evening you just looked at him blankly with your lips parted. Paul then pulled off his top and began to unzip the top of his shorts, “Uhhh” you frowned at the sight of him undressing, not sure where this whole ‘demonstration’ was going. You looked at Paul who stood their in his underwear when he gave you a nervous smile, and by the time you blinked Paul looked like he was having some kind of stroke when he just turned into this massive wolf, there was literally no other way to describe it except he just turned into a wolf. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to speak but you weren't sure what you wanted to say and instead just stuttered a chain of vowels. You opened your eyes and the wolf was looking at you, but it didn’t show signs of being hostile, looking around at your friends they watched as if it was normal “What the fuck?” you managed to blurt out. Slowly the wolf took small steps toward you, keeping it’s head bowed, you were frozen on the spot as your mind was still catching up with the unfolding events. The wolf stopped in front of you and lowered it’s front half down so it’s head was below you, instinctually you reached out and gently ran your hand through the grey hair on it’s head. Slowly the wolf began to raise it’s head again and you removed your hand, leaning back whilst the wolf slowly turned round and headed back over to where Paul stood a few minutes ago. The wolf started to raise up as if it was about to stand, but as you looked at it’s back it changed into skin and the shape of a mans back and then you realised it was Paul stood there again. Jared then handed Paul a pair of shorts, a blush formed on your face when you realised you were looking at Paul naked. You averted your gaze down to your feet, not before briefly looking at his ass, of course. Paul turned back round to face you after his shorts were on, a sheepish look on his face as you smiled at each other. You felt everyone watching you as they waited for your reaction “Well, wasn’t expecting that” you smiled, feeling a bit awkward with all the attention, and Paul smiled back at you, he seemed relieved. “I’m so glad you finally know, i’ve wanted to tell you for so long!” Leah said from next to you, and you turned to wrap your arm around her. “We decided to tell you because we consider you part of our family, the pack, and we trust you.” Sam said more relaxed then before, but still with an authoritative tone in his voice. You nodded at him, but you couldn’t hide the small smile on your face at the fact your friends trust you to the extent they have shared this secret with you. “and no one else can know.” Sam added “Of course, i promise i won’t speak a word of it. Thank you for sharing this with me, it must of been hard.” you said, speaking everyone. “Can i ask something though?” you turned to face Sam again, “Sure” he said for you to continue “What did you mean by ‘certain types of people’ earlier when you were talking about phasing?” You almost regretted asking when you felt everyone suddenly become tense again. “I don’t want to overwhelm you, but there are what we call ‘cold-ones’ and to make it easier you would probably describe them as ‘vampires’ but they’re not like count Dracula. They are technically dead, they are extremely pale and don’t have a pulse, and they feed off human blood like leeches” Sam sensed his description may have been to sinister and scared you, so he quickly changed his tone “but we take care of them, our purpose is to hunt and destroy them” a few of the boys cheered but stopped to let Sam continue “and you don't need to worry we will never let any go near you.” After learning this information you suddenly felt exposed being out in the cold and dark air. “Are there any near?” you asked wrapping your arms round yourself, not sure if you really want the answer to your question. There was no immediate response, but looking at your friends’ body language you already knew the answer. “Who?” you asked, skipping the answer to your first question. “There is a family in Forks who we have a treaty with, they only drink animal blood and they haven’t harmed a human in their decades of living here.” Sam answered and you frowned at him, pressing him to answer the question fully as you knew he was avoiding names. “The Cullens.” he added and suddenly everything clicked, the pale skin and unique eye colour of the Cullens at your school, and how every time you mentioned anything about school that involved their names to Paul or Leah they would be distant. You obviously felt shit scared that you went to school and lived near vampires, but you thought about the encounters you’ve had with Edward, Jasper, and Alice, who you’ve always considered friends if not friendly acquaintances, who have always been nothing but nice to you. You’ve also seen their dad working at the hospital, he always looked friendly and you only heard good things about him. But then again it could all be an act. “But no need to worry about any of that now that you know you’re part of the coolest gang in America.” Paul’s joke pulled you out of your thoughts, “watch out, samcro” Jared added and you all laughed. You smiled as the pack returned to their normal behaviour of enthusiastic conversation and energy, like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Amongst everyone chatting, you looked over to Paul and he was already looking at you as he stood up and made his way to sit next to you. “Learn something new everyday” you said to Paul who grinned at you “you’ve still got a lot more to learn, babe” ignoring the flip your stomach did at the pet name you frowned at him “you’re kidding? What else is there?” Paul laughed and wrapped his arm round you “no don’t worry there’s nothing else, just information about us werewolves and our goth phases” he winked and you playfully shoved his arm “shut up” you grinned up at him, relieved he wasn’t about to inform you about some other supernatural being.

[inklingleesquidly]

VINNY & LEE 3: THE CAR

Lee Squidly is a good kid who rarely ever screws up or gets into trouble, but when he’s with his good friend and fellow rich squid, Vincent, things almost always go awry. See what mischief these two miscreant little nerds get into whenever they’re together!

Featuring the squids of @askvincent

Word count: 2,720

               There was always something big happening in the city of Shee-Booyah and at the city’s very own Arrowana Mall there was something extraordinary. Squid Squad was releasing their brand new album before anywhere else in the world. Twelve never before heard songs could be purchased and heard by 10,000 lucky creatures before anyone else. There was just a small issue for two particular squids.

       “Gyaaaaah,” Vincent Mist screamed as he raked his nails down his temples. “What are we gonna do; we’re never gonna make it to the mall in time!”

       With him as ever was Lee Squidly who was confounded by his friend’s words. “Hmm, what’s there to worry about, I mean we both got preorders,” he said, being the ever-sensible one.

       “Well yeah,” Vincent couldn’t help but agree.

Lee questioned, “Did you manage to get the super preorder that comes with a limited edition pennant?”

Hearing that, Vincent’s eyebrows raised and his jaw hung open. He couldn’t answer the inquiry so he quickly sought to change the subject. “Anyway,” he began, “We gotta get there as soon as the doors open, and the train doesn’t get there at the right time.”

Lee didn’t understand so he asked, “What for?”

All Vincent had to reply was, “Reasons.”

He understood even less now but he sought to go along with whatever scheme his friend was cooking up. “So if you don’t want to take the train than how are we going to get there?”

That question seemed to spark an idea in Vincent, “I got it,” he chirped, slapping his fist down upon his open palm. His face completely lit up with a laughing smile as he chuckled, “Hue hue hue, I know how we’re gonna get there!”

 “Are you out of your mind,” Vincent’s mother, Coco dryly said; turning away from her neatly organized work desk to acknowledge her son. “No you can’t borrow my car,” she declared, spinning around in her chair to return to her work.

Vincent gasped; his mouth agape and his arms dropping at his sides as he whined, “But Mama, please!” All the while Lee could only give his friend the most disbelieving look. He said nothing but he knew this was a bad idea, such a bad idea.

Coco swiveled back around in her seat to question, “Are you seriously asking me this? I just got that windshield replaced after what you two blockheads did with that phone; I don’t want you within 10 feet of that car.”

Vincent continued to beg, “Come on Mama, I learned my lesson, I promise.” He clasped his hands together in a pleading gesture, “I just need it for this one thing, please, pretty please, with sugar and sprinkles on top?” He looked directly at his cynical mother with his bottom lip trembling and his eyes twinkling, “I’ll guard it with my life; I promise nothing will happen to it so please!”

The jaded mother just rolled her eyes, I hate when he gives me that look, she thought as he gave her that stare of childish begging. Normally she hadn’t any problems resisting it unlike her wife but for some odd reason—she found herself softened.

With a sigh, she submitted, “You know what, sure thing; I’ll let you borrow the car.”

“What, really,” this took both boys by surprise, even Vincent who didn’t believe his plea would actually work.

Coco restated, “Sure.”

With what, she escorted them to her car but didn’t immediately relinquish use of it to them.

“Mama, do you really need to do this,” Vincent queried, “I said I would take good care of it. I mean, Lee’s gonna be with me after all,” he gestured to his friend, who confirmed with a smile and a nod.

Much to their dismay, Coco wryly replied, “That’s what I’m afraid of,” as she circled around the shiny vehicle. She touched her hand against the body and took pictures with her smart phone; both of the exterior and the interior. Finally, she seemed to complete her inspection and returned back to them. “Well it seems like everything’s perfect,” she said, “Be sure it comes back that way,” and she deposited the ignition key into Vincent’s hand.

With their faces lighting up, Vincent cheered, “Thanks Mama,” and he excitedly stepped inside while Lee ran around to sit in the passenger’s seat.

As Vincent pressed the vehicle’s start button, wound down the driver side window, and the two secured their seatbelts, Lee said, “You won’t regret this Mrs. Mist!”

She said, “I’m sure I won’t.” Placing her hand on the open window, she summoned their attention, “But if I see a scratch, even a smudge on this car—I’LL CUT YOUR TENTACLES OFF AND HANG THEM IN MY OFFICE!” Coco raised her voice to such a terrifying volume that it made both boys rear back and break out in a cold sweat. Despite the ominous threat, she waved goodbye with her fingers and said in a startling sweet voice, “Take care, have fun kids.”

“B-bye,” both boys said, neither one losing their fearful thousand yard stare as Vincent carefully drove away.

They arrived at Arrowana Mall without a problem and even managed to get their album preorders without a problem. The music store gave out numbered tickets and let in a set number of patrons at a time to prevent the store and staff from getting mobbed. Lucky for the boys they arrived early enough that they were some of the first admitted inside.

On the ride home Lee giddily clutched his collectible pennant while they listened to Squid Squad’s newest songs. Jamming out, Lee declared, “Woohoo, this is so awesome!” He smiled from ear to ear and was so excited that he shook in his seat.

“Yeah it is,” Vincent agreed, tapping his hand on the steering wheel as he concentrated on driving. “And it’s gonna be even more awesome,” he quietly muttered. The music was so loud that Lee couldn’t hear him.

They arrived back at the apartment complex’s parking zone and as Vincent departed the car he went around it as his mother did before to inspect for damage. With his body tight and his breath caught in his throat, Vincent looked at every square inch of the vehicle. Each new step filled him with relief, “I think our tentacles are safe, the car is perfectly fine. My mom is going to—HOLY SHRIMP WHAT’S THAT?!”

In that very moment everything else in the entire world shattered like broken glass and all Vincent could see—was a tiny hairline fracture right underneath the driver’s door handle.

The sight of that scratch scared Vincent so badly that he spontaneously splatted right then and there, much to Lee’s confusion and fear. “Vinny! Vinny! Wha-what’s happening?!” He quickly gripped the hovering squid spirit of his friend and stuffed him back into the pile of clothes he left on the floor.

The poor boy retook the shape of his Inkling form only to fall backward, collapsing onto the ground. “Ahhhhh, we’re doomed; we got a scratch on my mom’s car,” he whined, shakily pointing at it.

Wanting to see for himself, Lee leaned in close to inspect the supposed damage. He stroked his chin curiously, and then picked out his glasses from his cargo pocket to attempt to get a better look. Removing them, he remarked, “I think you’re overreacting, Vinny, I don’t see any scratch.”

Vincent stood up, he took a deep breath and repeated, “Okay, okay, okay, it’s probably not a scratch, I’m just gonna try and clean it off.” He let out breaths into his bandana then rubbed the soft cloth into the spot where he saw the scratch.

His mind must’ve been playing tricks on him; it looked like the scratch got bigger. Worried now, he vigorously polished the spot, hoping with all his might that it would go away. Much to his horror it had grown even bigger; now as long as one of his fingers.

“Ohh now I see it,” Lee indicated, only exacerbating Vincent’s distress.

Slapping his forehead, Vincent turned around to grab Lee’s arms, shouting, “WE SCRATCHED UP MY MOM’S CAR, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!”

In that moment they shared the same horrifying vision; Coco casually engaging in business in her office while both of their tentacles were displayed like trophies.

       “AHHHHHHHHH,” the two boys screamed in unison; now fully grasping the severity of the situation they found themselves in.

Vincent whined, “I need my tentacles, that’s where my hands are,” he demonstrated by spontaneously shifting just his Inkling arms into wiggly squid tentacles

Trying to keep the situation under control, Lee said, “Vinny, please, calm down, we can fix this!”

“HOW,” the distraught boy nearly screamed. A thought then came to him and he said, “Wait, your mom has a bunch of car fixing tools doesn’t she?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Vincent gasped, “Well then she’s gotta have something to fix this! Go get them!”

Lee gulped and his eyes shifted from side to side, he seemed reluctant about the idea. “I- I don’t know,” he stuttered, “My mom doesn’t like me messing with her tools, if she finds out she’s gonna--.”

“PLEASE,” Vincent gasped, “It’s gotta be fixed by something!”

Lee couldn’t come up with an excuse. Begrudgingly, worriedly, he left to retrieve his mom’s tools

Despite all of the tools available to them in Janine’s sizable toolbox Vincent and Lee couldn’t figure out what to do. Some were in fact for auto repair but others, they had no idea; they still tried them though. They used water, chemicals, heat, wax, polish, and nothing worked.

Each time Vincent asked, “Did it work?”

And Lee would reply, “Nope.”

The two made a bewildering number of attempts to remove the scratch but nothing worked, forcing Vincent to yell, “NOTHING IS WORKING!”

As Vincent threw his hands down at the hopelessness of the situation, Lee tried to stay optimistic. “We can do this, I know we can,” he said, “We have the technology!” With that proclamation he unearthed his cell phone from his cargo pocket. He spoke into it, slowly, clearly instructing, “Fix scratch,” and then placed his phone against the car door.

It did nothing except fall from the door and clack against the ground. Lee whined, “Ahhh man, my screen cracked.” Vincent had no clue what his friend expected to happen, did he think his phone would magically fix it?

He decided to focus on the task again, searching through the multitude of tools, Vincent said, “There’s gotta be something in here.” One object managed to pique his curiosity so he brought it out. “What’s this,” he said, holding it in his hands.

Upon close inspection the device resembled a Killer Wail they used in Turf Wars only small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. Vincent would discover how astute of an observation that was when his finger grazed a button and a blast of deafening sound waves shot from it; striking his mother’s car. He quickly and clumsily fumbled to end it after Lee covered his ears and shouted, “AHH! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT-IT-OFF!!”

Everything went quiet for a brief second only for the boys to see the most horrifying sight. The door with the scratch suddenly and mysteriously just fell away from the car.

“WAAAAH,” they both screamed in terror again.

“Why does your mom even have that,” Vincent shrieked.

Lee’s answer was to cry, “I don’t knoh-oh-oh.”

With Lee starting to sob and wail, Vincent was left to think on his own, I can figure this out, I can get this fixed, I know I can, he thought. Before he could think of anything else his phone started to ring.

“He-hello—wait—what—no, NO—uhh—yes—yes—umm yeah, okay…” He lowered the phone from his ear and murmured, “My mom is coming down to check the car.”

Lee’s response was to cry even harder but he still scrambled along with Vincent to fix the problem as best as they could. Coco arrived on the scene and found the two standing side-by-side, facing her, with their hands behind their backs.

“Hi Mama,” Vincent greeted, a bead of sweat dripping down the curve of his cheek.

“Hi Mrs. Mist,” Lee’s lips quivered as he tried to smile.

Coco was a woman who could tell when something was awry. “You two are up to something,” she said, being someone who didn’t play games; especially with her son.

Lee chuckled nervously, “Heh-eh, no we’re not.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine with the car,” Vincent said through gritted teeth.

Placing her hands on their shoulders, Coco easily pushed them both apart. “Move aside,” she said, giving herself space to inspect her car.

Vincent pleaded, “No Mama, no, don’t look it’s a trick!” But it was too late; as if knowing exactly where to look, Coco bent down to inspect the driver side door.

“Did you two get a scratch on my door,” her voice was low but clearly audible to both nervous boys.

“We’re sorry Mama/Mrs. Mist,” they both replied in unison.

She gave it another look and turned around to ask, “And did you try to cover it up with a marker?”

Vincent turned to Lee to give him a look of incredulity as Lee shrugged with a marker that just barely matched the color of Coco’s car. “I don’t know, I thought it would work,” he grinned uncertainly.

“All right boys,” Coco stood up and turned to them with a frightening, menacing look in her eyes, “Do you know what I’m gonna do about this?”

The only thing the boys could think to do was hold onto each other for dear life—but instead Coco merely turned around and they heard some mysteriously peeling sound. She spun around and revealed she was holding a clear sticker in her hand. “There we go, no harm done. The boys babbled in confusion until Coco explained, “Yeah I put that sticker there, and its heat sensitive so when you touch it it gets bigger.” She demonstrated by vigorously rubbing the sticker between her palms and showed them how it grew in size.

Flabbergasted, Vincent voiced both of their dismay, “But why,” he wondered.

Coco answered with a laugh, “Hyu hyu, I wanted to mess with you to teach you a lesson about messing with me and my car. Now go listen to your CD or whatever it is you wanted to do.” Despite knowing what was actually going on, the two still scampered away. Coco chuckled to herself, “That’ll teach them,” and she gripped the car door’s handle.

Suddenly, the door came off the car in her hand and right before her eyes, she witnessed the other doors fall off. Right after the rest of the car split in half, leaving the interior and the frame of the car exposed.

This was unbelievable. For the briefest moment she was absolutely stunned; mouth agape, frozen from head to toe, a low, quiet noise eking out of her throat. In an instant, Coco snapped to and screamed to the heavens, “VINCENT, LEE,” but the two were long gone.

 Elsewhere in a park near Flounder Heights, Vincent and Lee were hiding in a metal lined room built inside of a fake hedge. Biting his nails nervously, Lee said, “Ohh, I heard your mom; she’s real mad about what we did to her car.”

Surprisingly relaxed, Vincent reclined in the cramped room and casually munched on bagged chips. “Don’t worry I built this shelter for when this kinda thing happens; we got enough food for a whole week.”

Ever the level headed one; Lee tried to reason, “I don’t know, maybe we should just face the music.”

Just as he said that, what sounded and felt like an explosion rocked the entire bunker, even shaking the single dangling light fixture. Outside of the metal chamber, they heard a voice shouting, “WHERE IS LEE?!”

“I think your mom found out we used her tools,” Vincent indicated before crunching down on another chip.

Lee sat down and queried, “So how much food did you say we have?”

Vincent answered, “About a week, maybe ten days.”

Sitting down, Lee opened up a canister of nuts and asked, “Do you want to listen to the album again?”

[edc-creations-blog]

Telling Stories by Cheri Paris Edwards

Sometimes life throws you a curveball…

Navigating middle-age is a challenge for 45-year old Genelle “Gigi” Golden. First the death of her mother, then her long time live-in boyfriend abruptly trades her in for a new model. Determined to restart her life Gigl packs her bags and heads to the Southwest. When things don’t go as planned, Gigi finds herself caught between the proverbial ‘rock and a hard place’; and an impulsive decision turns her life in an unexpected direction.

Then ex-military man Desmond Wright enters her life. Although physically changed by a skin disease it hasn’t dampened Desmond’s confidence or lessened his appeal to the opposite sex. But, Desmond’s life is complicated by an spoiled adult daughter, who treats his home like it has a revolving door, and a mother who won’t let him forget that he’s yet to find the love of his life.

When things falls apart, Gigi discovers that true friends reveal themselves in the toughest times and that grace comes when you least expect it.

    Chapter One

Genelle- Chasing Waterfalls

Somewhere I read that the sky doesn’t get dark anymore. Well, I know for a fact it’s not true. Tonight, a deep black sky arches above, like an inky tarp dotted with glittering lights. In fact, the entire scene is as picturesque as one of those postcards hanging on the small wire carousel that sits on the shiny front counter of the hotel gift shop. Sand spreads like a fine white coverlet to the ocean’s edge. There, ripples nudged by a soft wind pause, glide effortlessly back into the sea. And perched at the edge of the horizon, a fat moon beams at his shimmery reflection.

Dragging my bare toes through the warm sand, I slowly make my way back toward the squat building that sits at the top of a small hill. By day, the charisma of the eccentric owners, Sam and Anthony, illuminates the restaurant and bar unimaginatively called the Tiki Lounge. At night, it’s the place that transforms. Rows of slender pendant lamps dangle from the wooden rafters above the terrace, turning it into a magical oasis. Even the breeze is enchanting, fragrant with spicy sandalwood incense and sweet plumeria blooms. Stepping onto the pebbled deck, I find an empty table, sink onto the emerald cushion of a chair. I slide my lips over the straw of the daiquiri I hold between my hands. Take a long thirsty swallow.

My eyes drift to the patio doors.

He walks in.

Eyes flashing, he threads through the cluster of tables and chairs. Makes his way toward me, as rhythmically as a slow, sweet song.

“Hey . . . ” he says huskily as he nears my table. His gaze holds mine.

“Hey yourself . . . ” I manage to whisper, breathless from the pounding of my heart.

My nostrils quiver. His scent like a sparkling forest after a burst of summer rain. Flicking my tongue, I moisten my lips, ready for the pressure of his mouth on mine.

Then a sound.

“Jeantel!”

Focus, I tell myself. I lock my eyes on the handsome planes of the face in front of me.

That sound again.

Then, “Jeantel!” Louder this time.

The smooth, angular face poised so delectably near begins to waver.

“Don’t go,” I whisper.

“Over here, Jeantel!”

My black prince’s face dims.

“Jeantel!”

Grudgingly, I let the fantasy slide away.

“Whaaat?” I yell. Yank myself upright. Blink rapidly. Slowly, the cramped interior of my car grows clear.

“It’s me. James.”

“I see you,” I tell the wiry man peering through the passenger window of my Nissan Altima. “What do you want?”

Rudeness is not usually my style, but I convince myself rather easily that there’s no real reason to feel bad about being shitty to James, who I’ve known less than a week. Allowing myself to indulge in a little fantasy has always been a way for me to cope, and the blame for the abrupt ending of this morning’s session lies squarely at James’s feet.

“Gonna let me in or what?” James snatches a face towel that hasn’t seen a washing in a good long while from the back pocket of his jeans, wipes the sweat around on his face.

“Okay,” I tell him as I flick open the door latch.

“Something wrong?” James asks as he climbs inside, flops on the seat.

  ( Continued… )

© 2018 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the author, Cheri Paris Edwards. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only.

  Purchase Telling Stories by Cheri Paris Edwards Amazon Download: http://a.co/d/eVVYwqo

    Intimate Conversation with Cheri Paris Edwards

Cheri Paris Edwards is the author of “Plenty Good Room” and the “The Other Sister.” Edwards work has been praised by “Publisher’s Weekly” and “Booklist.” Edwards is a PhD Candidate at the University of North Texas and an Associate Professor.

  BPM: It is such a pleasure to have you join us to discuss, “Telling Stories.” Describe yourself in three words. “Passionate, creative and funny.”

    BPM: What drove you to publish your first book or create your first series? How long have you been writing? I have been writing since I was a teen when I wrote poetry. I wrote my first novel after literary agent Denise Stinson called me after I’d submitted a non-fiction effort and asked had I ever considered fiction. That novel didn’t ever get published but my next effort, “Plenty Good Room” was published by Denise when she was also an editor for Walk Worthy at Warner books.

    BPM: Describe what you do outside of writing to expand your business or brand. Well, I am an Associate Professor at Tarrant County College which is a huge college with almost 40,000 students on five campuses. I work at the Trinity River Campus in downtown Fort Worth. The head of our Tahita Fulkerson library is Dr. Susan Smith and she’s a great person in my view. Like me, she comes to TCC from the University of North Texas. Anyway, she read a proof of “Telling Stories,” and wrote that she REALLY liked it. Consequently, she ordered copies for the library and I spoke at an event on November 1st.

On the other hand, it’s been a bit hard, to talk about my writing in some academic settings. I am a Lit major, and yet I definitely do NOT write literary fiction and many academics do not take romance lit or Christian fiction seriously. They have a specific writing style and expectations for content that they believe is valuable, particularly when it comes to literature written by African-Americans.

I am self-taught as a fiction writer and most promote a programmatic approach to writing fiction that’s gained by going through an MFA program. This is particularly true, because I’ve had to learn to understand the expectations of genre better, and had to readjust my writing to create the kind of pacing that is different from academic or some non-fiction writing. And, I am also self-published. So, I’ve definitely had to find my own confidence. However, I am blessed to have a few great friends who served as beta readers and gave me valuable feedback and others who are just wonderfully supportive of my efforts. I also feel I’ll get nice support from some at the Community College level.

Additionally, I just purchased home in what is called the Great Southwest area in Dallas County and plan to visit libraries to get the book on library shelves in the towns of Lancaster, DeSoto and Cedar Hill. These small cities are predominantly African-American and Lancaster and DeSoto still shelve copies of “Plenty Good Room” It’s also a way of getting my name on local invites to other events where I can sell my book. Unfortunately, I missed the Fort Worth library author’s program this year, but will try to make it next time.

    BPM: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your body of work/books? Well, the first time out I was quite surprised at how difficult it was for black writers to get a publishing deal. I don’t know why I didn’t know. After studying African-American history and realizing that this has been an historical challenge for blacks, I understand the constraints of the publishing landscape better. I mean blacks in the not too distant past (like Harlem Renaissance year) really were writing a great deal of the time for a white audience because that’s primarily who had the leisure time, and the ability to read. And, even when weren’t writing for them, they were quite aware their “gaze” was on the work, and that likely influenced how it was written (and what was written) as well.

It’s still difficult today to find publishers for stories about blacks just living their lives, which is situation that Zora Neale Hurston lamented many years ago in a 1950 essay entitled, “What White Publishers Won’t Print.” Well, “Telling Stories” is about black folks just living their lives and they’re older folks (as am I) which makes both me and novel even less interesting to traditional publishers.

So, after a few queries, and rejections and looking at “wish lists from diverse writers” that was just ridiculous in my opinion, I decided since I know how to do graphics and can content edit reasonably well, that I would just again publish myself. One of my TWU colleagues, Erin Marissa Russell, is a fantastic copy-editor and she took the job on pro-bono and I’m very grateful for her help. However, I do feel books should be read across racial lines, because they often identify what connects us as humans.

    BPM: How did you choose the genre you write in? Have you considered writing in another genre? I am writing in another genre! And, this is also the first novel written in first-person narrative voice. I began my published career in Christian fiction but it wasn’t purposeful. I wrote a non-fiction book with Christian elements and was told when I submitted it on the open market, I should query Christian publishers and agents. And, because I included those elements in my fiction, after talking with Denise Stinson, I followed the same path in other writings. I really never felt it was a great fit, because my first story didn’t have the arc that most Christian fiction writings do. I don’t think readers knew how to handle the story because of that.

I decided this time out to write a story that was more ME. In hindsight I also think including Christian elements in my fiction and my topics were subconsciously influenced by some internal obligations I felt I had to meet. Now, I just feel freed from those and allowed this story to flow without the feeling that I had to take on any issue or problems or curtail much about how I wanted to tell the story. For example, I curse, so there’s cursing. *lol* And, I am a person who laughs a lot and who often relies on humor to help deal with life’s struggles, so writing a humorous book is also a natural.

    BPM: Tell us about your most recent work. It is entitled, “Telling Stories” and is available right now only at Amazon, in print and e-book. Available on Nook and Kindle?

    BPM: Introduce us to the people in the book! Give us some insight into your main characters or the speakers. There’s quite a few characters in the book. The story is narrated in the alternating voices of Genelle Golden (or Gigi as she’s called once she moves to Texas) and Desmond Wright. Both are middle-aged and both face challenges in their lives. Gigi has relocated to Texas and when a living situation doesn’t work out, has to take shelter in her car. In other words, she’s homeless.

Some of the people she meets along the way help her through the situation, even when they don’t know all that’s going on in her life. We also meet Butterfly who owns the hair salon where Gigi gets a job, Juan and Imogene who work there and all of the others who stop through or are there for hair appointments. And there’s James, the waitress who helps Gigi and Gigi’s sister Neecie, who’s a bit of a snob.

Desmond comes with his own family and baggage. Mama, is a petite, well-coiffed churchgoer, who will curse you out in “a voice sweet as Karo syrup.” Desmond is a Mama’s boy, and Mama thinks Desmond should hurry up and find a wife! He’s a bit of a commitment-phobe though and though he’s dated quite a bit, none of the women have been quite right. Desmond also has an adult daughter. Malaika is spoiled (by Desmond, of course!) and he can’t keep her out of his pocket or his house, since she’s always underwhelmed by the efforts of her husband Ray. He also has a grandson Clint, who is a whirling dervish one moment, and wise beyond his years the next. And, Desmond has the skin disease vitiligo, although he brags its not dampened his swagger.

    BPM: What’s so unique about their story-line or voice in the story? What makes each one so special? Gigi and Desmond have their own distinct voices, challenges, and their lives are quite different, but they are similar in that they both are middle-age and without partners and somehow they come together. Each of them also have backstory that contributes to the emotional baggage they must wade through to really connect which is revealed in brief reminiscences about past events and both working through grief about their parents who have passed away.

    BPM: Share one specific point in your book that resonated with your present situation or journey. Like Gigi, I moved to Texas after a series of losses. I lost my mother, and my sons were grown and had moved out. Also like Gigi, I was chronically underemployed while living in Illinois and wasn’t working at all when I decided to leave. Additionally a second contract with a publisher was on the verge of falling apart. Once I decided to relocate, I literally packed my three bedroom townhouse on my own, and with help of a nephew, my brother-in law and a friend, packed all I had into storage and the rest in my car within a few weeks time. Leaving behind below 32 degree temps, ice and snow, my toy poodle Mocha and I took a long rainy ride to Texas.

It was a challenging start. About a year later I returned to school though. I earned my Master’s in English in 2014 and then was accepted into the Literature program at The University of North Texas. I also was able to teach many wonderful students teaching at both colleges before taking the position here last year. I didn’t even have furniture here for a year and a half. I couldn’t move my bed though and slept on an inflatable mattress and kept my clothes in open suitcases until two years ago!

    BPM: Are there certain characters you would like to go back to or is there a theme or idea you’d love to work with? Oh, I don’t know. I loved these characters. I haven’t thought seriously about writing more about any of them, but I’m sure I could since much was left unfinished.

    BPM: Is there one subject you would never write about as an author? I would not write about a pathological subject having to do with blacks or about passing, simply because I’ve read too many books in the canon about that kind of thing.

    BPM: Have you ever received a rejection from an agent or a publisher? Yes, about 3 on this novel from agents before I gave up on querying about a year and a half ago. I didn’t get many with “Plenty Good Room,” and the “The Other Sister” was going to originally be published by the same publisher under a different imprint. However, it was taking so long to get to my manuscript that I went with another offer which ended up not working out.

    BPM: Do you ever have days when writing is a struggle? Have you ever had to deal with rejection? It’s a struggle of lot of the time. I just forge through.

    BPM: Have you written any other books that are not published? Yes, I’ve written some that I took off the market as well.

    BPM: What projects are you working on at the present? Right now I’m working on getting through my dissertation. I’ve been writing throughout this year. Since January, “Telling Stories” had been getting copyedited. Erin was doing it between paying jobs, and then I did a last couple edits on it this summer, but nothing major. I am finishing chapter three of my dissertation and I have one more to finish. I am expanding a research paper I’ve already written, so I’m hopeful I may still finish by the first of the year. I teach five sections this semester and six next semester, and I grade a lot because I offer a workshop setting where students are always submitting exercises, and that takes time too. I have about 100 students this semester. Also, now I commute a couple hours a day since I live in Dallas County.

    BPM: How do you stay connected with others in publishing and your readers? On social media of course, although I had deactivated my Facebook for quite a long time. I wanted to get back in touch with the real world, and I did. Even though it’s reactivated, I’m not sure I’ll be involved as I was before.

    BPM: What legacy do you hope to leave future generations of readers and new writers with your writing? That it’s not too late, nor are you confined to “traditional” publishers. Just write the best book you can, and have a “day job.”

    BPM: What is your preferred method to have readers get in touch with or follow you? They can follow at @write12b on Twitter and I also have a Facebook Author and Personal page. I haven’t been all that active this year because of all of my obligations, but I will be picking up steam in the next few weeks.

    BPM: How can readers discover more about you and your work? Twitter: https://twitter.com/write12b Website: https://cheriparisedwards.wixsite.com/mysite-2 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheriparisedwards Author FB page: https://www.facebook.com/purelyparispublishing

      Telling Stories by Cheri Paris Edwards Telling Stories by Cheri Paris Edwards Sometimes life throws you a curveball... Navigating middle-age is a challenge for 45-year old Genelle "Gigi" Golden.