#wanted to do something completely dif today

[spicyraeman]

weird art day so heres some human'zel cuz she unnerves me

[nightmare-freakin-viper]

Match to Kindling

Pairing: Cody Rhodes x OC (Ola Kaminski), Randy Orton x OC (Ola Kaminski)

It was like a match to kindling, once it started and spread there was no way to make it stop. Cody couldn't stop the spiraling thoughts and it all burned down.

Warnings: None, besides angst

Lemme know if you wanna be tagged💚

Tags: @daddywrasslin, @jeysbvck, @alyyaanna

Cody was spiraling, he knew he was, hell he knew he had been for what? Weeks? Months at this point? He kept it to himself though. Tried not to make too much of anything or say anything or point out anything. And it was starting to kill him, he thought. Randy had let it slip, when they were out drinking one night, that he and Ola had made out. Really, it shouldn’t bother him right? Right? She was his girlfriend. She chose him. Not Randy. 

How come it did bother him then?

He tried not to. Really he did. He tried his fucking damnest to just forget this nugget of information that neither of them shared with him. Randy had said it was no big deal, one and done and that honestly both pretended like it hadn’t happened and moved on from there. But Cody could see it now. It was like rose tinted glasses had been pulled from his vision. 

He noticed it every time they were together now. He didn’t even know if it was on purpose or if it was just the symbiotic relationship those two had. They moved like dance partners together, always knowing the other's next move without having to verbally say anything. But also, the sublest touches, glances and gestures. The hugs that seemed to last too long. Ola wearing Randy’s sweatshirts instead of his. He could study them for years, hell he basically had! And still not understand all their subties. 

It mesmerized him, and it really pissed him off. Should it? He wasn’t sure, his mind was hazy half the time between this little secret, noticing them and every stupid thing he had to do for Stardust. He was fraying at the fringes and he was afraid of completely tearing apart. He knew some of the others knew something was up, Ola even would give him concerned glances when he’d get that edge to his voice. He didn’t mean to but he wasn’t going to last much longer if he kept going like this. He needed to talk to her.

Cody stared at the cup of coffee infront of him, watching the way the colors swirled from the creamer he just put in. How many cups was he up to today? 4? 5? He lost count. Not that it mattered, he was jittery and nervous beforehand. He looked at his watch again, she should be her any second. Ola was never late. He didn’t know how to even remotely bring this conversation up. He wanted to get out of his contract. Leave WWE, find his place in the indies and build a name for himself not just because he was a Rhodes. He knew, really deep in his chest, he knew she’d never agree to leaving. WWE was her home, it always had been and now that she was helping younger talent and a manager for one of the hottest up and coming stars, why would she throw it all away? For him…? They could probably make the distance work…well before they could've….before he found out what happened between her and Randy. It plagued him and he felt like a wimp because of it. So they made out? Big deal right? Years ago too at this point. So what's the problem?

Cody truly hadn’t noticed before. Their closeness. Nor had he ever paid attention to the whisperings backstage and through the media. He thought they were dumb. Until now. Everyone and he meant everyone thought that they were together. Cody and Ola were out publicly but people still thought it was fake and she was with Randy. He went down a rabbit hole one night, insomnia claiming his brain like a dark demon. So, all night, instead of the rest he needed. He read article after article and every feed and thread he could get his hands on on how Randy and Ola were actually secretly dating this whole time and have been for years. ‘No one looks at her the way he does.’ ‘Ola’s smile and demeanor towards Randy is COMPLETELY different than it is with any of the other men on the roster.’ and so many more. So much worse things too. With all that, he couldn't close his eyes without picturing them pinning each other against a door, lost in an intense make out session. He hated it. 

Cody snapped back to reality as he heard a familiar click of heels on tile and jingle of her purse, you could hear the woman a mile away and she loved it. She stepped in the cafe, clad in a pink blazer, matching skirt with a white corset top and white heels to round out the outfit. A grin spread over her face before it faltered slightly at him. He knew he looked a mess, lack of sleep was taking a toll on him. He stood as she approached and gave her a gentle kiss hello, before they sat again and she eyed her coffee before smiling, 

“A mocha cooler, my favorite..” She took a sip happily before crossing her arms and leaning on the table, “So what’s so urgent you brought me out here?” Cody hated this. Really he did. He hated confrontation. 

“I’m thinking of asking for my release.”

Ola stared at him and wanted to laugh, she really did but the look on Cody's face was dead fucking serious. Oh no. 

Honestly, deep in her mind, she knew that something was going to happen. He was unhappy, everyone could tell and he had been getting increasingly agitated with everyone lately. She untucked one of her arms and reached across the table, taking his hand in hers and running her fingers over his knuckles as he squeezed her hand. He really wasn't joking.

“Okay…what…well…,” she studied him, she knew he hadn't been sleeping and it was getting more and more apparent, especially with the dark circles around his eyes. 

“What's the plan then Cody? If they release you what will you do…?” She frowned slightly as she watched him stare where their hands were connected. He had seemed so spacey lately, but she originally assumed it was from the lack of sleep but that seemed to only be part of it now.

“I don't know….I can't do this Stardust shit anymore Ola…it's killing me. Maybe I'll go to the indies and build a name for myself.” He met her eyes finally and her frown only deepened. The man looked on the edge of tears and a breakdown.

“Right….I mean, I'm definitely not saying you couldn't do that but the schedule and work and all that….” She wanted to ask him out right. She really did. What about them? Was it a little selfish maybe but, it had been around 4 years at this point.

“You're wondering about us….right?” 

Damn she hated when he did that, sometimes it was like he read her mind. But she nodded and clenched his hand gently, 

“...I was thinking you could come with me…?”

Ola stared at him a minute before her eyebrows furrowed and she slowly slid back in her seat, still staring at him. She opened her mouth to say something then closed it before pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand. He wasn't really asking this of her was he? He had to be joking.

“Cody…..I can't. You know that. I just got into a position that I love and enjoy. I get to help with the younger talent! Hell, I get to work with your dad too! I finally feel like I fit my niche, not that I didn't as a wrestler but this is so much more fun. Especially being able to be a manager!...” She trailed off and let the silence settle between them before finishing, 

“And all my friends are here Codes….” Ola had averted his gaze and opted to look down at her coffee.

“The job is more important than our relationship…?” She heard him say it, barely, but her pulse was already beating so hard. Did he really just fuckin ask her that. “Cody….be serious. Of course our relationship is important but this….this is my career, my future….” Another pause before he said,

“Aren't I a part of your future too?” 

Ola wanted to strangle him, she hated this kind of thing. And right now was a shining reminder why she had refused to date for years. She chewed her lip, 

“Yes, you are Cody. But so is WWE and everyone there! Randy, Seth, Hunter, your dad and all my other friends! I just can't leave!” She could've sworn he physically tensed when she said Randy's name or she was losing it. It was probably just the stress. She risked a glance up at his face and met his frown with her own. She held his gaze as she watched several emotions flicker in those gorgeous blue eyes of his. Frustration was the emotion that seemed to settle on his features, not that she really blamed him but he couldn’t just drop this on her out of the blue like this without any planning. She tried to steel herself as she gave his hand a quick squeeze before retreating her hand to her coffee. 

“This….this is so much, too much, to think about right now Cody. I…I need some time okay?” Cody stared at her while he took a slow sip of his coffee, she felt like every move that she made was being hyper analyzed by him, and then shifted his eyes back to the drink briefly,

“Yeah….I ‘spose it is a lot isn’t it..,” He scratched the back of his head before slumping back in his seat himself, “I’m sorry that I just….yeah guess I did just drop it on you, huh?” Ola gave a small, quiet laugh, 

“Only a little bit babe…” She mustered up a weak smile. Something else was definitely up with him though, there had to be, 

“Since we're here….what else has been bothering you? This can’t be the only thing that’s keeping you up at night lately…?” Ola tilted her head slightly as she noticed the way his hands clenched around his coffee cup, the veins suddenly noticeable. 

Cody could punch himself. Of course she knew something else was up, she wasn’t stupid but now he had to play this smart. He swirled his coffee before taking another sip then sighed softly, 

“You know me too well, sweetheart, you know that?” She gave a small smile to him at that as he looked up at her, 

“Yeah there’s something else, but….” he paused, “It’s….I don’t want to talk about it here, okay? Maybe at the hotel later?” Ola’s brows furrowed, whether in frustration or sadness, she wasn’t sure at the moment.

“I….alright, as long as you actually promise we’ll talk about it and you won’t just blow it off again.” Cody gave a small snort of a laugh, “I promise, I promise.” He said as he reached across the table and grabbed her hand again, bringing it to his lips and kissing the knuckles gently. Cody hoped he could keep it together a few more days, hopefully she didn’t find out.

~~~~~

It had been a few days since Cody told Ola that he had wanted to get out of his contract. And since he at least talked about some of what was bothering him when they got to their hotel room together that night. Apparently it was mostly the stress, though Ola still noted his change in demeanor when Randy was mentioned or when he was around.Besides that, Ola really, really, really was running through all her options. But, truthfully, she had known since that day that there was no way she was leaving WWE. It wasn’t worth the risk for her. She was happy. And maybe that was selfish of her. She knew how bad being Stardust was destroying Cody. She wasn’t blind to it, so of course she didn’t blame him. But….what about them? She loved him. And it had taken a painfully long time for her to admit when she did. 

Ola stepped besides Cody as they made their way to their room after meeting everyone for dinner. It had been 3 days since Cody dropped his bomb on her and she was finally ready to sit and talk about it. She was only half listen as he talked to his brother, but her head snapped as he was saying goodbye and Dustin went,

“Well, goodnight, and enjoy your last few days here.” Ola raised a brow as Cody went sheet white and Dustin, realizing his fuck up, quickly left the scene as Cody opened the door to their room. Ola followed him in, slowly, and furrowed her brows as she watched Cody’s back, 

“Cody……what did Dustin mean by that…?”

She stepped more in the room, sucking her cheek in and chewing on it, a nasty habit she picked up when she was nervous. She could see Cody’s shoulders were tense as he sighed and turned enough to look at her. He still didn't say anything. Ola swallowed as her eyes narrowed,

“Cody…Rhodes….what the fuck did Dustin fucking mean?” Ola crossed her arms and scrunched her nose.

Cody sighed, he could kill his brother right now. He was doing so well. A few more days…

He ran a hand down his face before turning away from her, he couldn’t look at her, not the way she was looking at him. The hurt in her eyes already was going to end him. He took a deep breath before letting it out, 

“I said I wanted out of my contract….I actually had already formally put the request in….a few days before I told you.”

Ola only heard white noise as her vision filled with red around the edges as she stared at his back. Already put in the request. Was he actually fucking with her? She swayed on her feet a minute before she walked and grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around to face her,

“You’re fucking with me right? You have to be?! You put it in without even fucking talking to me? What the actual fuck Cody!” Her voice was taking on a higher pitch and she knew damn well her eyes were starting to water already. Especially since he seemed so passive right now. Cody stared at her a moment, searching for what to say, 

“You said it yourself that day, Ola. You aren’t leaving WWE. I knew that before I even asked you to come with me. It was a last ditch effort…I…I hoped that I was enough to get you to come with me.” She stared at him incredulously, at a loss for words. “What….what the fuck! Fuck!” she ran a hand through her hair, brushing it off her forehead. She wanted to hit him, she wouldn’t even lie. “Is this why you’ve been so fucking weird lately?? The last few months you’ve just been, I don’t even know how to describe it! Everyone’s noticed! Hell, Randy asked me cause he was worried about you.” There it was again, the way he tensed whenever Randy was mentioned, and the angry glint that flickered in his blue eyes. The ones she used to get lost in but right now, she didn’t even want to look at him. 

“And while we’re at it….why the hell anytime I mention Randy or whenever he’s around…you get like, like that!” She gestured at him. 

“Like what?” He tried to keep his tone even but the months and months of personal agony was seeping out of every pore on his body finally. He couldn’t hold the malice back in his tone anymore. Which earned another glare from the short woman in front of him, the woman he loved more than anything really. 

Ola clenched her jaw and jabbed a finger to his peck, “Like fucking that! You get fucking pissed whenever I would bring him up! When he’s around, your so fucking wound up tight it’s insane! And god-for-fucking-bid he talks to me and I swear, if you could’ve killed him with your gaze alone!” 

So, she noticed it all….he was stupid thinking she hadn’t. He faltered, his eyes watering even though he was still upset. “Clearly I’m not good enough for you alone…since you won’t come with me.” 

She wanted to rip her hair out as she listened to him, “Fuck Cody, I already explained this all! I can’t leave! It’s finally good! Hell! I’d say it’s finally great!” She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, “Now, what the FUCK is this all actually about cause there’s something else, you’re hiding from me.” She knew her voice was starting to wobble, fuck she didn’t want to cry during this. 

It was Cody’s turned to clench his jaw, “More like there’s something you have to fucking tell me!” He leaned in, unintentionally using his height to tower over her. Which earned a scalding glare from the woman, “I literally have no fucking idea what you’re taking about! And since you refuse to tell me! I’m leaving! I’ll just go stay with Randy..” She started to turn to leave but he grabbed her arm. 

“Hell fucking no. I’m sick of hearing his fucking name and I’m even more sick of seeing his face!” Cody snapped and Ola stared at him, taken aback. What the hell had happened between them recently?

She blinked a moment but her glare returned, “What did he do to you? You guys were fine until you went out drinking together that night.” And a dark look clouded Cody’s vision suddenly and Ola was almost scared, except that had instead pissed her off. 

“Tell me what happened Cody.” She held his gaze as he met her with glare, “Why don’t you tell me what happened with you and him? Or why everyone, even though we’re clearly together, fucking thinks you two are together! Every fucking person! So many articles and threads!” He growled softly and Ola just stared at him dumbly, she was hearing him but it was so sad she almost laughed. “Really Cody? Really? I come to bed with you every night and you care about all the fake bullshit that people online say? I’ve never dated Randy, you know this!” Cody stared at her again, remembering what Randy had told him.

“Codes…Code..” He slapped a hand on Cody’s shoulder with a laugh, “Didya know, Ola and I…we made out once. It was only once though! We both just pretend it didn’t happen, it’s been ages since it happened anyway!

Cody clenched and unclenched his jaw, “Why did you never tell me you and Randy kissed?” Ola paled slightly as she opened and closed her mouth to speak, but sighed softly. “So that’s what happened and led to all this ridiculous nonsense?!” He growled in his throat, 

“What does it matter anyway? You’re not leaving so this is over now anyway isn’t it?” She flinched a bit before she bit her lip so hard it bled,

 “Are you just making all the fucking decisions now? Leaving? This relationship? Fuck you Rhodes, this is actually ridiculous!” She wretched his hand off her arm and scooped up her bag, trying to keep herself from crying, he wasn’t justified in her tears.

“I can’t believe you Cody, getting jealous over something from over fucking 10 years ago when I was dating you and fucking in love with you! But that doesn’t matter since all you care about is bullshit people made up about Randy and I!” Cody swallowed hard, 

“See? We fight and you run off to him! This always fucking happens! You run to him! You wear his fucking sweatshirts! The fucking looks you give each other! Should I say more! Theres so much fucking shit you’re fucking blind to Ola!” She whipped her head to glare at him, 

“Do. Not. Even fucking start with me! Go fuck your self Rhodes!” She shrugged away from him and started towards the door. 

Cody watched her before hissing out, “Go fuck Randy!” Ola stopped dead in her tracks, and unfortunately, her mouth moved faster than her brain when she was mad,

“I already fucking have! That ‘kiss’ Randy mentioned, , “ She barked a laugh, a sad, angry laugh and turned to look at him, “We. Fucked. “ She was breathing heavy and heard her pulse in her ears as she looked at him. He looked like he just got slapped as his eyes were filled with tears that hadn’t fallen yet,

“I fucking knew it….fuck…I knew.” Ola stepped to him and he stepped back from her, “Fuck…Cody….” She ran a hand down her face, “It was once, we were drunk and young and stupid. And we agreed it was nothing more than that and moved on from then!” Cody kept his distance from her and shook his head, “I…trusted you, both of you and neither could just tell me?” 

Ola groaned to herself again, the tears finally falling, “No! I literally forgot it happened cause it was one fucking time! How many times have we fucked huh Cody? How many?! I just, I can’t fucking do this anymore. Being jealous for no reason and then just fucking cutting your contract without telling me…I just…fuck.” She turned and darted out the door, jogging down the hallway with her bag over her shoulder. She made her way to the only place she knew where to go, Randy’s room.

Cody slumped to the bed behind him as he watched the door slam shut in her wake. He royally had fucked this all sorts of up. He was lucky if she ever talked to him again. He wiped the tears that started to fall from his eyes. Did he even deserve to cry at this point?

Ola stood in front of Randy’s room's door and hesitantly knocked as she fought back a sob. The door opened, revealing Randy, standing in a pair of shorts and a shirt, 

“Ola…?” She looked up to him and his brows furrowed in concern. That was what broke the camel's back, tears started falling and a whimper left her lips as she threw herself against Randy’s chest. He stumbled a bit but caught her, stroking her back as she sobbed against him and clung to him like a lifeline, “Princess…..what happened?” She hiccuped as he cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumbs,

“Cody and I broke up.”

Randy was trying his damndest to not bust down Cody’s door and strangle him. But, he had bigger concerns and that was the woman clinging to him like a koala and sobbing. He held her close as he led her into the room, taking her bag from her and tossing it next to his. He gently led her to the bed and sat her down, before kneeling in front of her. He gently wiped her tears again before stroking her cheek gently. Seeing her like this was killing him. He was going to deck Cody the next time he saw him,

“Are you able to explain what happened to me?” He asked when her sobs quieted a bit. 

Ola swallowed as she met Randy’s eyes through blurry vision, she sniffled again, 

“.....can I have another hug first?” She felt childish but for some reason he was always a comfort to her. He smirk crossed his lips briefly as he pulled her in for a tight hug again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her head naturally went to the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes and muttered,  “Thank you. I’m sorry I barged in here like this Randy…” He rubbed her back and made a gentle snorting sound, 

“Why are you apologizing? You always know you’re welcome. After all the years you dragged my ass around, I think it’s all I can do.” She slid back to look at him and gave him a soft smile, 

“True, you were a real bastard to deal with.” She laughed softly as he smirked while she sat back, taking a deep breath. She explained everything, the whole him wanting a release, finding out he already had asked and the whole fight and how he was basically uncomfortable with how close they were. As she explained it to Randy, in real time, she could see the way his eyes turned a stormy blue as he was holding back his anger. The way his temple flexed when he clenched his jaw was the tell tale sign.

“You won’t let me take him out will you?” She gave a sad frown but shook her head. 

“No, preferably not…..” Because despite everything. She still loved that idiot. She ran a hand over her face, “I’m just so tired Randy….I thought i was going to marry that fool.” Ola’s eyes started to water again.

“Well, he’s a fucking dumbass for throwing it all away.” That at least made her smirk a bit. She slumped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling as Randy got up and sat beside her, 

“Have you eaten yet?” She turned to look at him. He really was handsome, especially when he was relaxed like this. Silently she took him in for a moment which made him raise a brow at her, 

“Sorry…just overthinking everything…”She closed her eyes again, “But no, I haven’t eaten anything.  Why?” She glanced at him as she heard him move. He grabbed the phone, 

“Well, I'm ordering us dinner then.” She slowly sat up and smiled,

“A man after my own heart, Stud.” Randy couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips, 

“Anything you want in particular?” She stood and walked to her bag, rummaging through 

it, “You, of all people, know what I like. Order whatever, I’m going to shower if that’s okay?” He nodded at her as he called for room service. Ola paused before stepping over and pressing a soft kiss to his temple before disappearing into the bathroom. Randy held the phone dumbfounded for a minute before the woman on the other end startled him out of his daze.

After Ola showered, she felt so much better afterwards. They enjoyed their meal, which to Ola’s surprise was really good for hotel food. He had just opted to get them both burgers, nothing fancy but really good. Whoever the chef was knew how to cook the damned things. She explained more indepth what happened, unfortunately more crying on her end. But eventually, the stress of not only today but the past few months had taken their toll and she was curled up under the covers, sound asleep. Randy glanced at her, not trying to be a creep but she always looked so at peace when she slept. Especially after what she went through today. Besides the anger boiling beneath his skin, he was jealous of that idiot. How in the HELL do you fuck this up? With Ola? He would’ve killed to have been even given one chance…..well….he wasn’t sure if those counted or not. He had been painfully in love with the woman for years that everyone else could tell, but he had been happy for them. Now he was pissed. Ola deserved better than this fucking shit treatment. 

He looked at her again, he was already planning to get up early and hopefully intercept Cody before he left the hotel. Thankfully the man was habitual and would be leaving around the same time. He just wanted to talk to him, himself. And maybe put his fist square in that face of his for simply making Ola even cry. He hadn’t been this mad in years. Usually he was good about keeping it in check nowadays, thanks to Ola’s many years of help. He was kicked out of his thoughts when he felt her arm flop over his waist and she pressed her face to the side of his chest. Oh, Cody was definitely fucked. 

~~~~~~~

Randy quietly pulled the door to the room shut and let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had managed to get dressed and sneak out without waking up Ola. He looked at his phone quickly, perfect he was right on time. He made his way to the stairs, quickly going down them before walking down the hallway to the lobby. He was still seething. How the hell could Cody be such a moron about this? If he had Ola as a girlfriend, he would do everything in his damn power to keep her. Nevermind that he was, and has been, stupidly in love with the woman. That didn’t matter, it was the principal. He hadn’t even bothered to message or call Ola once. And that only pissed Randy off more, if it was possible. 

Randy rounded the corner to the lobby, managing to rile himself up more while he was walking. His eyes narrowed, there he was, standing by the lobby desk. He made his way to him, and if anyone was watching he was sure he looked terrifying. Before Cody even knew what was happening, Randy snatched the front of his shirt in his fist and got in his face,

“You stupid son of a bitch!” He hissed out as Cody returned the glare now that he knew what was happening. 

“Shut the fuck up, “ He grabbed Randy’s arm with one hand and, in not one of his greatest moments, swung his fist at Randy. It connected, making Randy stumble a little but never let go of his shirt. 

Randy wiped his face, glaring even more as he saw blood on his hand. The bastard had busted open his lip. He slid his gaze back to Cody before all hell broke loose. Fists flying everywhere, Randy was pretty sure that Cody, at least, would have a few good bruises on his body from his blows. The two men threw and shoved each other through the whole lobby, punches, and hell even a few kicks flying in there. 

Randy grabbed him and threw him at the wall, “This is all because you just had to be a fucking dickhead to Ola. You know how fucking hurt she is? Do you even give a shit?” He dodged the next punch before throwing his own, 

“You don’t fucking know anything! Maybe you two assholes shouldn’t have kept that you guys slept together once.” Randy paused a moment at that, before an evil smirk graced his lips as he looked down at the man who was struggling to his feet after he had thrown him down,

“Once? Is that what she said?” He grabbed him up by his shirt, definitely hearing ripping this time, and brought him close, “Oh….it was more than once Rhodes. I know how she ticks and I know how to make her feel good. I’m the one she calls daddy.” 

That did it, Randy saw the change in his eyes and he was lunging at him again.

At some point, the desk assistant had called Hunter, who was currently jogging down to the lobby, pulling his phone out as he ran. He held his phone to his ear,

“Come on….pick up…”

Ola groaned, reaching out to stop the noise that woke her up. She rubbed her eye as she pulled her phone to her and squinted at the name, why the hell was Hunter calling her? She hit answer,

“Hunter….this better be good.”

“Ola, Randy and Cody are fighting in the lobby!” She sat up quickly and looked around the room, Randy’s phone and well, himself, were missing from the vicinity. Oh shit. She slid out of the bed quickly, 

“I’ll be down as fast as I can!”

“Thank you Ola.” She hung up and tossed her phone as she grabbed Randy’s sweatshirt that he had hanging on the chair. She was very thankful right now for their size difference since his sweatshirt was basically a dress on her. She pulled on a pair of her shoes and bolted from the room. Those two idiots! Fighting! IN THE LOBBY? She shook her head as she ran down the steps as quickly as she could. She couldn’t lie, inside, she was a little happy this was happening. She knew why it was, there was no other reason that it would be. She rounded the corner to the lobby and the sight was to behold alright. Hunter was, trying anyway, to pull Cody away from Randy to the best of his ability. But he was getting hit by stray punches. Cody’s nose was bleeding and he definitely had at least a black eye. Randy looked better though his lip was clearly busted open. She ran to the three of them, wrapping her arms around Randy’s chest to the best of her ability, trying to push him away. “Randy! Fucking stop! What the fuck!” 

Randy’s eyes flickered down to her, registering who it was and let her push him away, finally separating the two. Cody tried to lunge again, but Hunter stopped him, “Enough!” He shot a glare at Cody then to Randy, “Someone, please, explain what the hell is going on around here?” Ola looked up at Randy as he breathed heavily and took another step back with her, 

“Randy…..what….explain?” She looked up at him as he subconsciously rested his hand on her waist and looked down at her finally. She held back her wince at the way his lip was busted, though he somehow still looked too good with blood smeared over his lips. She blinked as he stared at her a moment, brow raising at her, she’d think about that later. 

Randy sighed as he looked from Ola to Hunter, who looked increasingly confused,

“Something…happened last night and believe it or not, I did come back here to talk but he took a shot at me first.” He watched as Ola’s gaze went from him to shooting the most seething glare in Cody’s direction.

“Don’t play completely innocent! You grabbed me first.” At this point, Hunter was rubbing his temples and he looked at Ola. Ola released herself from Randy and walked over, taking Hunter’s arm, pulling him to the side. She explained everything as quickly as she could, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall again. She was already sick of crying and feeling like this,

Cody stared at Ola, his throat tight as he watched her talk to Hunter. He ignored the heated glare he was getting from Randy for looking at her. He didn’t own her, fucks sake. Was Randy telling the truth when he said it had been more than once? He reached up and wiped some of the blood from his lips as he continued watching her. Of course it was his fault, she looked terrible. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were puffy from crying and she just looked exhausted over all. He swallowed dryly realizing what she was wearing now. Are you fucking joking? She was wearing one of his sweatshirts, because of course she was. Did they sleep together last night? He risked a glance at Randy who now had a ghost of a smirk on his lips like he knew what Cody was thinking and trying to figure out. He was going to lose it again. 

Hunter squeezed Ola’s shoulder reassuringly as she turned to walk back over to Randy who pulled her into a hug again, trying to hide the fact she was crying again.

“Alright….now that I know the main, important parts. Tonight, we’re all having a meeting together about what we can do story wise okay?” He rubbed his head as she looked at each of them, getting various degrees of agreement. “Good. Now. Do not do this again, got it?” More agreement. Hunter sighed. He didn’t get paid enough for this sometimes.

Ola let Randy start to lead her towards the elevator, but Cody stepped into their vision. Randy’s glare returned as Ola tensed under his touch,

“Can we please talk for a minute…?” Ola wanted to deck him herself now. How fucking dare he think he had any right to talk to her. She put her hands on her hips, popping a hip out, her brows furrowed, “What the fuck is there to talk about Rhodes? You made it very clear last night and, now this morning, by deciding to get in a fucking fight. You didn’t even bother to try to message or call me last night and suddenly I’m important enough to have a talk?” She had stepped closer and jabbed her finger in his chest, “You lost that privilege last night. We’re done just like you wanted.” Cody���s jaw was tight as he took the verbal beating from her. He deserved it. 

“I deserve that…all of this. I just….,” He ran a hand down his face and winced when he hit his nose, probably broken, “Just one question, please?” Ola sighed and glanced up at Randy who met her gaze in confusion, she couldn’t be serious. He didn’t deserve it. But he nodded and walked near the elevator, waiting for her. She turned back to Cody, 

“What the fuck is it and make it quick, I’m still tired and would like to get more sleep.” She crossed her arms angrily as she waited. Though it was slightly distracting having Randy’s sweatshirt on, all she smelt was him the whole time. 

Cody shifted, almost nervously, as he looked at Ola. Fuck he was a moron. Even in this state, she was beautiful. And fuck he loved her. He rubbed his eyes, to deter the tears he felt, she would just be more pissed if he was teary eyed,

“The fight….really got worse when….he said something.” He sighed softly, “Ola, did you..was it more than once?” Ola, even though she was still pissed, felt heat blast right to her face and ears as she flickered her gaze to randy with a sigh, 

“Yes. It was..I guess you could say regularly…” She rung her hands together as Cody slowly closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, “Was that it?” 

He hated that he asked. He should’ve lived in blissful ignorance. It wouldn't have hurt as bad as this did. So, they just lied about their whole relationship to him. 

He felt numb almost if it weren’t for the tears threatening to fall, “...That was it…” He swallowed harshly as she turned and quickly made her way back to Randy, who of course, put his hand on her waist again. Cody glared as they got in the elevator and Randy, of course, shot him a smirk as he pulled her closer to him protectively. He wanted to die.

Ola held it, mostly, together until they were back in the hotel room. She hated him. She hated his stupid blue eyes. His dumb smile. His moronic voice. His idiotic face. She hated it all and it was killing her that she still cared about him. She sniffled again as Randy stroked her back again. She looked up at him, before not completely aware of her actions, her fingers touched the mark on his lip, a soft frown on her lips, 

“You fucking idiot, you don’t have to fight for my honor.” He stared at her, completely caught off guard a moment and without thinking, kissed her fingers, 

“Don’t I….?” She swallowed gently, feeling her face heat up as she shook her head, 

“That’s enough there, stud, I’m too tired for this.” He couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that before pulling her to the bed. She grabbed her phone, wincing at the fact here was one message from Cody. No, she didn’t need this right now. She tossed it on the nightstand and crawled back in the bed, keeping the sweatshirt on. Randy didn’t ask about the phone, he already knew who it was. He slid into the bed next to her and she immediately snuggled close to him, 

“So, when is the meeting with Hunter? “ He questioned as he got more comfortable, “Not until 5, so I’m sleeping some more.” She muttered and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. He stared at her, he wished he could sleep like that. Randy listened to her breath and subconsciously rubbed a circle on her back while he did. Against his better judgment, he pressed a soft kissed to her head, 

“I should’ve told you how I felt before you met him, princess.”

~~~~~

Ola checked herself in the mirror one more time as she pulled on her black blazer to pull together her outfit. The pink top and black mini skirt accentuated her curves in all the right ways. She turned to the side as she looked at herself when Randy came out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, his brows shooting up in surprise, 

“Damn, princess, you’re not holding back are you?” She looked at him with a little smirk before she turned for him as he looked her up and down,

“No, I’m not. He needs to be reminded of what he’ll be missing.” She grabbed her ‘O’ necklace from the box and Randy pushed off the door, moving to stand behind her as she gently handed the necklace to him and she lifted her hair up for him to clasp it around her neck. They’d done this a million times but this felt more intimate than it should have. She knew her cheeks were pink as she met his eyes in the mirror and she swallowed thickly at the look in his eyes before he stepped back. It wasn’t helping he hadn’t put his shirt on yet either,

“I think this outfit will have him suffering, babe, “He chuckled as he walked to get his shirt and she bit her lower lip as she watched him grab his shirt.

Randy had to pull away when he did before he did something stupid, but damn did she look good. He almost felt bad for Cody, cause she was clearly out for blood with that outfit. He pulled his shirt on but raised a brow when Ola moved to stand in front of him. She silently fixed his collar and slid her fingers down, buttoning the shirt for him. He was holding his breath as he watched her fingers on the buttons before darting his eyes to the rest of her and immediately regretting it. He couldn’t help it as his eyes traced a trail down her neck, to her necklace that rested in her cleavage and he swallowed when his eyes shot up to hers and Ola smirked at him. She chuckled, 

“Eyes are up here stud….” She hummed softly as she buttoned the last button on his shirt. Randy couldn’t help but chuckle a little, “You’re evil, you know that?” She pouted a little as she patted his chest and stepped away, “Well, I learned from the best.” She winked and grabbed her purse as she shook his head and tucked his shirt in, then grabbed his watch and his keys. 

“Are you ready for this?” He stepped past her to the door, and she sighed softly, “Don’t think I have an option not to be.” He opened the door and they headed to his car.

Ola was anxious, incredibly so, she didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen him just this morning but everything felt weird. She hated this feeling but she was happy that she had Randy with her. For whatever reason, he always grounded her even when he was up to stupid shit. They waited outside Hunter’s door briefly as she took another deep breath and put her bitch face on, before looking at Randy, “Let’s get this over with.” They walked in and she tensed immediately when she saw Cody, she hated feeling this way and she hated that her chest ached at how he looked. He reminded her of a kicked puppy, his stupid blue eyes were still red and there was a faint bruise forming on his cheek from earlier. He deserved it, she tried to convince herself. She sat in the chair farthest from him and Randy put himself in the one between them. She almost wanted to laugh. This felt like divorce proceedings and she brought her new piece with her. She crossed her legs and tried to relax slightly, to no avail. 

Cody tried not to stare at her as she came in, which was impossible. She looked stunning and not like anything was bothering her at all. Her top clung to her perfectly and her skirt made her legs look ridiculously long. His throat was dry, he really was stupid. The scathing glare he was getting from Randy wasn’t helping. He wanted to get up and leave the room, running away wouldn’t fix anything but at least he wouldn’t feel like he was suffocating. He wanted to apologize to her and grovel and beg for her back but it would never work. He rubbed his eyes as Hunter sat at his desk, hopefully this was quick.

“Well, we all know everything that has happened in the last 24 hours. And with Cody leaving, we need a way to write him out of the show and since there’s already a story with us four, we have come up with an idea. Ola, I know this isn’t ideal but you’ll have to be with Cody and Randy and I will run into you two backstage. There’s going to be a match between Randy and Cody, but if Cody loses, he gets fired by me. Ola, you’ll be a ringside on commentary, for obvious reasons. And at the end of the show, Cody you’ll have an interview about how being fired feels, sound good to everyone?” 

Ola tapped her nails on her knee, “I’m not happy I have to pretend everything is hunky dory but yeah, it makes sense for the story.” She sighed softly as Randy looked at her with a small frown. 

“I know it’s not the best but, with such short notice it’s unfortunately what we got.” Hunter gave her a sympathetic look, “And you two, “he gestured to Cody and Randy, “I expect you two to not kill each other in the ring tonight okay?” Randy grumbled but agreed and Cody nodded, rather stiffly. 

“Okay, perfect. Well…unless you guys have anything, we should be done here.” Hunter stood and Cody was the first to shake his hand and disappear from the room. Ola’s nose scrunched as she watched him high tail it out of the room. Typical. She slowly stood, 

“I do actually have an idea Hunter…” Both the men gave her a look but she explained her idea and Hunter sat back down in thought, “It could work, but you’d be a heel again after?” She shrugged and laughed lightly, “Hunter, I’m a way better heel then a face and we know that.” Randy couldn’t help but chuckle himself because it was true. 

Hunter nodded, “Alright, it’s a go. I should tell Co-” She put her hand up, “No, his reaction will be genuine then.” Hunter’s eyebrows went up, “Alright, alright.” They both shook Hunter’s hand before stepping out and Ola took a deep breath,

“You wanna go out to eat?” She tilted her head at Randy with a smile, “I’d love to stud.”

~~~~

A few days later, Ola crossed her arms outside of Cody’s locker room, waiting for him. Sure she probably could go in but that was the last fucking thing she wanted to do right now. She was still mad and still hurt, even though the moron tried to apologize and explain his thought process more to her in the days following their break up. Which was messy as hell, all their friends were either not surprised or completely blindsided there seemed to be no in between. She leaned against the wall and frowned to herself when she heard a crashing noise from the room, she opened the door and looked around only to see shit thrown around the room and Cody scrubbing the hell out of his face over the sink. She cautiously walked into the room, 

“Cody….?” He froze before looking at her in the mirror, “If this is my last fucking match, I’m going out as Cody not as a fucking clown.” She nodded and backed up as she looked at his torn Stardust suit. Holy shit. 

She hesitated, “What will you wear then?” He dried his face before turning to her, watching her inspect the torn suit. 

“I have some of my other gear to wear.” She nodded slowly, “I…..right. I’ll be outside…” Ola slid from room quickly and shut the door, closing her eyes and leaned against the door. She almost felt bad for what she was going to do to him later. She leaned against the wall while she waited for him to get dressed again. Looking up when she heard the door open, he looked at her, “Sorry about…..that. Are you ready?” She pushed off the wall and gave him a sidelong look, “I don’t really have a choice do I, Cody?” He winced and rubbed the back of his head, 

“No, I guess not. Let’s get this over with.” She nodded and followed close behind him down the hall

“Where’s your facepaint Stardust?” Randy sneered as Cody and Hunter crossed their path. Cody glared back the best he could and Ola looked exasperated at them both. “I decided I didn’t want to be Stardust anymore.” Hunter narrowed his eyes at the other man and knocked Randy’s arm as he readjusted his title belt, “You hear that? He just decided that he didn’t want to follow the rules.” Randy nodded as he peered down at Cody while Ola shifted uncomfortably beside the two men. The real life tension was palpable.

 “Well since you can just make decisions around here, lucky for you, you now get a match tonight now, against Randy.” Cody’s jaw fell open and like the good actress she was, Ola’s eyes widened in shock. “And, you better win Cody, or you won’t be here very long.” Ola’s expression changed to hurt, which was genuine, 

“Hunter….what do you mean?!” Hunter patted Randy on the stomach, who laughed a bit, “Well if Cody loses, he’s fired.” Cody’s face dropped and Ola clenched her hands.

“So, don’t lose. Oh, and Ola? You’re on commentary for it” And the two men walked away smirking as Ola and Cody stood there dumbfounded.

Ola made her way down the ramp to her music, a permanent frown plastered on her face as she sat at the announcer’s desk. She crossed her legs, making light banter with King and Cole until Cody’s music hit and she tensed, making sure her jacket was closed, everyone in the crowd was surprised to hear his theme and not Stardust’s. She gave it to Cody, the man was a grade A actor. He looked genuinely stressed about potentially losing his job. Well, he may be but that wasn’t her problem. The crowd was on his side though. She chewed her lip when Randy’s music hit to mixed cheers, which seemed common for the viper. She tilted her head as she watched him, he looked really good tonight. But when, didn’t he. 

The match was great honestly. They both put their all into it. And if you were a fan, you’d think these two had a genuine beef. Which right now they did, but they didn’t need to know that yet. That would be after the match. Her little stint at the end would confirm her heel turn and basically all but confirm their break up also. She was sure she’d get a million tweets and questions thrown at her and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Maybe she’d go visit dad after a week or so, to clear her head, he already knew what happened. She subconsciously winced when Randy hit Cody with the RKO. No matter what she did when he hit the move since she knew the toll it took on him. 

Time seemed to slow down for all three of them as the three count was counted. Cody closed his eyes, accepting his fate. Randy looked to Ola, accidentally, as she raised her hand to her mouth in faux shock at the outcome. The crowd was pissed and chanting for Cody as Randy grabbed his championship belt and backed away from a downtrodden, defeated looking Cody. Ola tossed her head off her head, running and sliding in the ring. She slowly made her way to Cody, kneeling before him. She swallowed as he reached out to her, like originally planned, but she slapped his hand away with a disgusted look on her face.

“You’re pathetic. Can’t even win to save your job.” She stood up slowly, unzipping her jacket and tossing it outside the ring, a sick feeling of satisfaction in her stomach at the look on his face at her Stardust shirt. Was it a low blow? Absolutely. She glanced at Randy, who had a smirk before she stepped back again, doing the signature Stardust cartwheel but instead of putting her hands in front of her face, she stuck both her middle fingers up at Cody who was dangerously close to crying, 

“You’ll always be Stardust.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and grabbed Randy’s arm, raising it in victory as the crowd, after being shell shocked, booed the hell out of her while the two of them walked up to Hunter on the top of the ramp and she raised his hand in victory again. 

Hunter lifted the microphone, “This is a business Cody, and I need winners and people who listen. I have to do what’s right for everyone back here….” The crowd's booing grew louder, “It’s with deep regret, Cody, that I have to tell you that you’re fired.” Randy put his arm around Ola and led her backstage, Hunter following shortly after. Ola could only hear the pulse in her ears as people were talking to her, it was all a blur and shortly, Randy pulled her away back to his locker room. 

“You alright?” Randy muttered to her as they walked and she nodded slowly, “Yeah….yes I think so…I’m just drained as all.” He nodded but smiled, “You really put a show on out there, princess.” She chuckled softly, “Well, stud,” she hip bumped him, “I don’t think I could’ve done it without you there.” He shook his head when they got to the door, and pulled her into a tight hug, “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.” She gave him a sad, small smile but melted into the hug, her nerves were more frayed than she wanted to admit. 

“Maybe, but still, it helped.” She smiled at him then smacked his chest as she pulled away, “Let’s get changed and get out of here.”

Cody was getting escorted out of the arena, as the interviewer ran up, “Cody, CODY!”

Cody’s head snapped to the man, “WHAT?!?” The interviewer stopped dead in his tracks and winced, “Obviously tonight was emotional, do you have any parting words for everyone?” Cody narrowed his eyes slightly at the other man briefly before running a hand through his hair, “Parting words? Sure! Randy Orton beat me fair and square! He was the better man and I lost! I lost everything because of him! He’s always the better man.” His eyes were watering and his voice cracked, to any of their friends they knew this was more than storyline. He grabbed his back and pushed out the door behind him, slamming it shut on not just WWE, wrestling, his dreams. But her too.

[schizochasm]

My mind is treating me Much better today than the past few days.

I'm not so desperate for something else.

I'm doing the same things, with just as low energy. But it Feels completely dif.

Im not as restless and depressed.

Still numbed out and spacey, but it doesn't feel like hell today.

Ig that's the power of playing by his rules and as such him letting up.

I'm behaving so well that he's not as handsy or attention seeking. And I've gotten more freedom with how I spend my time again!

I know it can get like that Again if I don't behave.

And I still struggle obv. And shit still happens. I still gotta do what I do.

But the in between is so much better.

I'm never crossing him again.

I'm gonna be exactly what he wants me to be so that hopefully I can continue having some down time and agency.

It's not like I'm doing well rn, but by comparison it's heaven. So for a while I'm just gonna be so relieved just to have down time.

When you go through hell, stepping on broken glass doesn't feel that bad. At least you're not in hell atm.

Hell is waiting. But I get to ignore that it is in between again.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary265

6/8-9/24

saturday - sunday

album is coming closer to being done...

worked on 5 songs today, one of them still needs work, leaving me at 4 more roughly completed and 3 more to go before this should be like, a touch closer to completion. excited about working more on the cover art. thinking about doing some extra collages for it though we'll see abt that.

throat still hurts very much. i hope it heals soon, whatever this is, it hurts to swallow right now, but speaking is okay, it's on the left side of my throat. i hope it's not like, something terribly wrong with a tonsil or something.

here's some pix i found, old photos of anime figs, i was listening to this song and the thumbnail made me want to go looking for more images like this, why, idk, some of the ones i found and am still looking for/at are old pics from some con in japan, called wonder-festival, they had people doing some cool looking garage figs as well:

here's the garage figs i really liked from wonder-festival:

plus,.,.,., check out this ggunnnn!!

this one's funny. idk what it's even from. i miss when guns in anime/games looked this bizarre. they need to do this again.

and here's some other pixx people took of their real figs:

and then here's an oddity i found, looking at a camera type used to take this pic:

which i sorted into a dif folder cuz it's a bjd, and it's a very pretty one and it's a very weird image, taken with the konica minolta dimage z1, i found this pic of flowers taken w/ that camera:

i like how fried and weird its color space seems to be.

and then this one:

i really want to figure out what she is from, sometimes i feel like that, whatever that is, a chest wound and thin, staring out at... idk. going #crazy. i guess.

anyway now i should play vtmb and get closer to finishing it... it's sad that the game gets less good as it goes on, like downright tragic. chinatown and then blehhh, tragic tragic, walking around santa monica is, as i said i think, perfect videogaming.

okay, i did the society of leopold stuff, which was fun, i used dominate magick (it feels cute / witchy to spell it that way... oh no... i really am like my mother) to make a bunch of the enemies in the level just kill themselves and then tranced them to suck their blood. it's crazy how easy that is. i need to finish out the thaumaturgy stuff to make it better. it's a fun zone, rather easy though, it feels like the start of the game is super tough and then difficulty kinda drops off. chinatown is like rather tough as well, and then,.. it goes easy on you with a bunch of human enemies without any potential for masquerade violation.

oh here's a pic from the other day, in the victoria's secret, it felt like, important, for some reason:

important as in descriptive of some kind of facile thing. idk, consumer-nightmare type thing, i love camera flash on wet drink straws, that always looks good and freakish to me.

anyway, i can't stay up too late, just for my own good. oh, but, today i did go walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes. i haven't done that since i was a kid, i think i should do that twice a week at least to keep my body, like this, i suppose. less about losing weight than maintaining weight... but if i get a little skinnier that would be cute.

anyway, for real this time:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[about-the-two-of-us]

I almost completely forgot to make today’s entry!

Even then, today I don’t have much to say again, I brushed my teeth! And I started to draw a small comic! It’s not about my main ocs, I mean, yes, yes they are, but not from the main story, this one centres around other characters, most of them I forgot their names, ah, I really want to make a small and really messy summary of the beginning of the story (kinda like, the first chapter???), so here it is!

(I’m sorry if the story is messy, I made it when I was like 7, and then picked it up now that I’m 17 and re-worked it)

The story begins with the last day of school before winter vacation (in my country, winter vacation is 2 weeks long, summer vacation is longer because of the holidays), the protagonist is barely 16-17 years old and kind of creepy, she gets to school, today there is not much left to do but relax, she is relaxed and inattentive.

(It’s not explicitly said, but the protagonist is part of her classroom’s directive, maybe a secretary or a bursar)

The day goes as normal, and before long school’s time is over, she is the last one to get out of class, ready to go home, but before she can go, one of the teachers calls her name and asks her a favor, to show the new student around the school.

The new student is a tall girl, her hair is black and green, she seems friendly and sweet, and the protagonist gets quite enamoured by her the moment she sees her.

She does as told, showing the important rooms to the new girl, it’s during the tour when the new girl’s wristwatch (is mostly like a intelligent-watch, 7 year old me created them obviously /j) makes a little beep, and she stops and asks to stop the tour early because she has something to do. The protagonist lets her go, though not really, because she silently follows her, her little stalking episode product both of curiosity, and a small growing obsession.

But the new girl, Stephanie, is quite fast and soon enough, Lilibell (lili, as she is called most of the time), can’t keep up and is unable to find her. She takes a moment to search for her, but quickly gives up, so goes back home trough a long path, watching the sunset darken and the day become night, and finally relaxing again.

(Some of my characters are complete creeps, damn, I need to change the beginning of this story)

Until she takes a turn around a really dark alleyway trough her path, and stumbles with the new girl, dragging a really decomposed dead body. Lili freezes, and nearly vomits, Stephanie doesn’t really freak out, but she is really tense when she grabs lili’s arm tightly and tries to explain herself as best as she can, a story that Lili doesn’t really believe, not yet.

(I got lazy, so I’m not adding the colors ><)

Stephanie tells her that whoever she was drawing was not dead (yet) just unconscious, he appeared to be dead due to a weird and very rare virus that he had contracted, one that rotted his body and morphed his mind while alive (just a pretty way of telling you that it was a zombie, without saying zombie, I don’t really like that word for no reason???), a little slip-up of the nearest lab. It is unknown to her, and to both her team, and higher ups just how many people had been infected, they can make only predictions, and try to make sure that no one else gets infected trough various prevention methods. So as a way of getting rid of those infected, various groups are dispersed to the cities and towns around the proximities of the lab to identify those with the symptoms, to “collect” them, and bring them to the lab to examine, and eliminate.

Unfortunately for Lili, Stephanie has two options here, force the virus into Lili’s body to have a reasonable motive to get rid of her, or force Lilibell to join her group under the promise of her silence, and threats of death of both her family and herself.

Stephanie is aware that Lili is an influential part of her grade, so covering the disappearance of someone that everyone will notice missing will be difficult, not mentioning the fact that Stephanie is clearly the last person who would have seen her, and the first suspect then. It’s obvious at this point what choice she will make, so she threatens Lili to meet in this place tomorrow as early as possible and to not say a single word to anyone, not even those who are most dear to her, her family’s life depends on her silence about the whole operation.

It’s unknown to Lili just how Stephanie will be able to hide the body while she carries it to the lab (supposedly), because the second that Stephanie manages to make Lili promise that she’ll stay silent and let’s go of her arm, Lili runs as fast as she can back home, to enter her room and cry.

It’s a really big mess she got herself into, just because she wanted to stare at her new, pretty classmate.

And that’s the 1 chapter, I have never even started the 2, and since I’m redrawing characters and rewriting the story, then maybe there is a lot I’ll change, ah, I’ll try to make that now,

For now, see you, take care!

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[jingabitch]

Let Love Be Enough

SUMMARY: On the day of your daughter’s wedding, you can’t avoid Taehyung.

PAIRING: ex-husband!Taehyung x reader

GENRE: angst, smut

RATING: E

WARNINGS: angst | infidelity | arguing | smut | unprotected sex | use of flashbacks im not sure about | emotional sex | crying during sex

WORD COUNT: 9.4k

A/N: i hope you guys like this!! i was pretty uncertain about posting it because it’s not really like my other work, and I wasn’t sure if i was doing the flashbacks well. Thank you to my lovely betas @taetaesbaebaepsae​ @detectivebts​ @sweetnspicy93 and @moonmintrails​, @dreamystuffers​ for the banner and @kigurumu​ and @jkeuphoriadreamland​ for encouraging me to post it!! Without them the preview wouldn’t even have made it onto Tumblr.

“You look beautiful today, baby.” You were barely holding it together at this point, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling and ruining your makeup. In all fairness to you, your baby girl was getting married. Sunmi looked resplendent in her designer dress, and the entire ceremony was amazing. No expense had been spared – after all, it wasn’t every day that Kim Taehyung’s only daughter got married.

“Thank you, mom,” Sunmi said, squeezing your hand, her own eyes looking a little glossy.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart, and I love you so much.”

Your heartfelt moment with your daughter was interrupted by her father knocking and entering the door. Even after all these years, Taehyung was handsome and stately, and looking at him made your heart skip a beat. The graying of his hair didn’t detract from his attractiveness, giving him a distinguished air, and the crow’s feet had the same effect.

It was really too bad he was your ex-husband.

The thought made your expression tighten, although in the name of maintaining a cordial façade, you kept the smile on your face. “Taehyung,” you greeted coolly. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” you said, turning back to Sunmi and squeezing her shoulder. Normally, you’d have kissed her on the cheek but you didn’t want to mess up her makeup or yours.

“Y/n, please stay.” Taehyung tried to stop you, but you were insistent, stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you. Leaning your back against the solid wood, you let out a gusty sigh, his words having brought back memories you’d really prefer to leave behind.

-----------------------------

“Y/n, please stay,” Taehyung begged, both hands grabbing yours as tears streamed down his face. You were equally determined to leave, though – the room, the country, the marriage you’d just witnessed imploding in front of your eyes.

Why, why had you thought that it would be a good idea to come surprise Taehyung on the last day of his tour? Your eyes met the gaze of the other woman in his hotel room over his head. She was perched on the bed, watching with rapt attention at what was happening, and you could just hear the thoughts going through her head.

So this is what Kim Taehyung’s fabled wife looks like, you could see it written all over her face. She’s nothing compared to me.

And she was right, you knew. She was in her early twenties, perfectly made up and coiffed, wearing a tight miniskirt you could have poured yourself into ten years ago but couldn’t anymore. In the teddy you’d bought specially for tonight, you knew she could see every tiny detail of your body, even the bits you didn’t really like, like the stretch marks visible under the sheer fabric of your belly and the thighs that weren’t as firm as they’d been when you first started dating Taehyung.

“Taehyung, let go.” They were the first words you’d said to him tonight, and they just made him cling to you harder as he sobbed. You gritted your teeth and pulled your hand back. If you didn’t get out of here soon, you would burst into tears right alongside him, and you didn’t want to show him that side of you. Not anymore.

Not after he’d betrayed your trust so completely with another woman.

He shook his head frantically. “No, please, please.” You could barely make out the words, he was crying so hard. Part of you wanted to drop to your knees next to him to comfort him, pull him into your arms and rock back and forth. You’d been together for twelve years, after all, and old habits die hard.

But another glance at the hookup he’d brought back to his hotel room made up your mind. He certainly hadn’t cared about your relationship or his vows tonight, finding another girl to warm his bed. Sure, your relationship hadn’t been great for a while, and you took full ownership of your part of the blame for the state of your marriage, but you’d wanted to work on it. You’d flown to the States tonight to make it up to him, show him that you still cared, that you loved him and wanted to put in the effort to make things right.

Instead, you’d found him blowing up your marriage.

“My lawyers will contact yours.” It was the last thing you said before making your escape, the tears falling down your face the moment the door swung shut after you.

-----------------------------

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Sunmi said, taking in the dejected slant of Taehyung’s shoulders. The two of you had divorced when she was seven, and she’d never gotten the full story, but you could barely stand to be in the same room as your ex-husband. You were civil when necessary, but you avoided him as much as possible. It was such a far cry from her memories of when you two were together, when you’d been so close and happy.

“No, it’s okay.” Taehyung waved it away, forcing a smile out even though Sunmi could see that it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Today is about you, my love.” Turning to her, he pushed thoughts of his troubled relationship with you out of his mind so that he could pay his daughter the attention she deserved.

Sunmi still watched her father with concern, though, knowing how he got around you. It was a melancholy he wasn’t able to shake until hours after the fact, and it didn’t seem like it had gotten easier for either of you in the twenty years since you’d split up. Sure, you were able to put up a nice front when you couldn’t avoid each other, like at her dance recitals and graduation, but it was clear that neither of you had gotten closure from the divorce.

“Daddy…” Sunmi started, but Taehyung cut her off before she could say anything more.

“You’re so beautiful today, love. You look just like your mother.” Leaning in, he pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you, daddy,” Sunmi said, starting to sniffle a little.

-----------------------------

From the moment Sunmi had entered this world, Taehyung had known two things: that she was the spitting image of her mother, and that he was, from that moment, irrevocably wrapped around her little finger.

He’d laughed about it with you, too – how much he loved spoiling her, how hard a time he had telling her no. Taehyung was a devoted father, had been from the start. He’d taken a year off from performing and promoting when she was born so that he could stay in Korea with his new family, especially after the difficult birth you’d had.

You both agreed that you would wait a few years before having more children. Pregnancy and childbirth had been difficult for you, and you weren’t quite ready to go through it again, especially now that you had a young daughter to look after. Still, you were equally committed to having a large family, something you’d been talking about since before marriage.

It was a shock, therefore, to find out after a year of trying for your second child that apparently it would be almost impossible for you to conceive and carry another child to term. You were devastated and so was Taehyung, and, admittedly, neither of you had handled it in the best way.

You could barely stand to look at Taehyung for months after, the guilt of not being able to give him what he wanted and the weight of your own disappointment too much for you to bear. You focused all your attention instead on the daughter you already had in a bid to avoid your husband, and you’d be the first to admit that that hadn’t been the best way to deal with things. Not when Taehyung was grieving the loss of his dream too.

With his wife slipping, it seemed, further out of reach every day, Taehyung did the only thing it felt like he could do. He threw himself into his work, which was made easier by the fact that Jungkook was away serving in the military and Namjoon’s wife had just given birth to the couple’s first child.

By the time he left for that world tour, you were barely speaking to your husband and it felt like you were roommates and acquaintances more than husband and wife. He wanted to fix it, but he didn’t know how to, and you were stubbornly resistant to any attempts to reconcile. It was frustrating, to say the least – he wanted to be there for you, but he didn’t know how to help.

-----------------------------

Taehyung, seated at the table with his family and former band members, watched wistfully as you stood up to toast the happy couple. He didn’t think he’d seen you smile so happily since before the divorce, back when things had been good between the two of you.

“Sunmi and Michael,” you started. “I want to start by congratulating you both. Today has been a beautiful day, and the love you have for each other and for everyone here today is so evident.”

“I remember when Sunmi told me that she was dating Michael – she was only a freshman in college in a foreign country, and I was excited and supportive, but at the time, I had no idea that this relationship would go so far. You have overcome so many obstacles to be together, some of which I’ve witnessed, and many, I’m sure, that I haven’t. Nevertheless, I can see that what you two share is a deep, strong love, that will withstand the test of time.

“If I may, as a mother, offer some advice – although I might not be the best person to give relationship advice,” you added wryly, to chuckles from the crowd, “I know you have the basics covered. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive and remember that you’re a team. But,” you went on, your eyes flicking to Taehyung just for a second, “marriage is difficult, and it takes work. Trust that you’ve got each other’s backs, and communicate about everything, no matter how hard it seems at the time.”

Taehyung’s gaze softened, knowing that it was an implicit apology for your role in the breakdown of your marriage. He was the one who’d ultimately blown it up, something he’d accepted a long time ago, but neither of you had acted like model spouses.

“I believe with all my heart that this is a relationship that will go the distance, and it is my honour to make the first toast to the happy couple!” You concluded, raising your glass of champagne. Everyone in the room followed suit, and you smiled again at them before sitting down.

Jimin leaned over. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung replied quietly. He was better than okay. In fact, he felt lighter than he had in years.

-----------------------------

“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked for what must have been the hundredth time today. Taehyung couldn’t quite blame you – when you’d gotten married, you’d given up your dream of a family picnic along the Han River Park. There was no way in hell Kim Taehyung wouldn’t be recognized in a public place like that, so it wasn’t feasible at all.

It wasn’t like you were giving up a whole lot – he could afford to take your whole family to resorts, safaris, you name it. Still, the little girl in you that had so many precious memories at the Han River Park with your own family and friends wanted to recreate it with your own children.

Which was why he’d made this plan for your fifth anniversary. He’d called your assistant to let her know to cancel all your appointments today and booked out the entire park so you could finally have the family picnic you’d always dreamed of. It wouldn’t be exactly the same, of course. The rest of the park was basically deserted. But this was so much more than you’d expected, and you almost couldn’t believe that he’d managed to do this.

When you expressed this to your husband, he just smugly noted that you continued to underestimate him even after eight years of being together.

“Of course,” you noted drily. “You are the very epitome of extra.” Still, you leaned over Sunmi’s head to kiss him in a manner that suggested that you’d be doing a lot more if not for the child sitting between you.

“Mommy!” Sunmi cried shrilly, and you broke away from your husband to give your daughter the attention she demanded.

“Yes, baby?”

“I wanna ride the bicycle!” Sunmi told you, pointing out the car window at the bike rental shop.

“Okay, baby,” you agreed easily.

After the bicycle ride, you settled down for a picnic, letting Sunmi gorge herself on fried chicken and delivery food that she rarely got to indulge in because you were all about feeding her a nutritious, balanced diet.

By the time you left the park that evening, Sunmi was fast asleep in her daddy’s arms while you cleared your picnic area and walked next to Taehyung back to the car. The sunset painted the sky bright pink and orange, the fiery ball of the sun disappearing behind the bridge.

“Thank you for today, Tae,” you said, resting your hand on the small of his back as you stretched up to kiss him.

“It was my pleasure. Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary, Tae. I love you.”

-----------------------------

Watching from your table as the happy couple enjoyed their first dance together, you reached for your glass of wine. Being the mother of the bride was hard work, and you were taking the moment to appreciate that everything seemed to have gone off without a hitch. You had to give Taehyung credit where it was due – he’d always been a good father, and despite everything that had happened between you, he’d never let anything get in the way of his responsibilities as a dad. He’d truly spared no expense when it came to the wedding, and it showed.

After the first dance, the rest of the guests were invited to dance too, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You hadn’t brought a date to the wedding, not wanting to cause any drama with your ex-husband, his family and band members, and it seemed like he hadn’t either.

You didn’t make a habit of prying into his personal life – ever since the divorce, your interactions had been solely about Sunmi. You regretted it a little now, realizing that you’d lost your husband and best friend in one fell swoop, but back then, you’d been so hurt and angry, wanting to punish him as much as you’d needed the space to heal. In fact, this was the longest you’d been in the same room with him since the divorce proceedings.

-----------------------------

It was cold in the meeting room, and the air conditioning unit was incredibly loud, you noted mechanically. You looked around anxiously, picking at the skin around your nails – an awful habit that Taehyung had tried without avail for years to get you to quit. It was just you and your lawyer in here right now, since you’d come a little early to discuss the case with her, but you were expecting Taehyung to come in any moment now.

He didn’t want the divorce, you knew that. You could still hear his sobs ringing in your ears from the last time you’d met, when he chased you back to Korea and tried to apologize, explain, grovel.

When Taehyung and his lawyer came in, you stood up out of politeness, shaking hands with the lawyer.

“Taehyung,” you greeted tightly, your body wound tight. Your fight-or-flight instinct was already activated, and you were ready to throw down if necessary. Not that you really thought it’d be needed, but you really didn’t want him trying to cajole you out of this. Your mind was made up. How could your relationship continue if you couldn’t trust him anymore?

“Y/n,” he replied. You could hear the slight wobble in his voice, and for just a second, you felt bad. Despite everything that had happened, you still loved him, and some part of you didn’t want to hurt him. In fact, you had to fight the urge to round the table and pull him into a hug, like you’d used to when he was upset.

Swallowing hard, you took your seat instead, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap. You’d lost that right when you decided to end the marriage, you reminded yourself. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to comfort him. You couldn’t anymore, not when you were the cause of his pain. You’d never wanted to be that to him, but that was neither here nor there – you hadn’t wanted to catch your husband hooking up with another woman in a random hotel room either.

To your surprise, the division of assets went more smoothly than you’d expected. You’d heard horror stories of ridiculous fighting over every last penny and had steeled yourself for that. After all, despite your own professional success it was clear to everyone that the bulk of your combined income as a couple came from Taehyung. It wasn’t that you wanted to take him through the wringer or anything like that, but you didn’t want to be left out on the streets with Sunmi either.

There was no question that you would be awarded primary custody of your daughter – Taehyung’s job took him overseas for extended periods of time, even taking into account the fact that the group was slowing down now as the demands of real life grew.

The division of assets was challenging, but you ran into the opposite problem from what you had feared. Taehyung, once he’d accepted that this divorce was happening, seemed intent on heaping wealth on you. He tried to offer you the house – which you rejected, instead asking for an apartment that you jointly owned instead. The house would be difficult to maintain, you reasoned, which led to him offering to pay for all maintenance and even for cleaners. You also had to bargain the alimony payments down, to the surprise and amusement of your lawyers. You didn’t need any money from him, you maintained, though you did accept child support.

Still, because there was so little fighting between the two of you, it was over quickly, and the one meeting was enough to settle everything. The lawyers excused themselves, telling you that the final divorce agreement would be sent to you both to sign, and then you were alone.

“Y/n…” Taehyung’s voice was filled with anguish and sadness. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” you acknowledged, swallowing back the tears.

“Do we have to do this? You know I’ll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me,” he pleaded. “I’ll quit the band, we can go for couples therapy… please, just don’t leave me.”

“Tae…” It was the last time you would call him that. “I can’t trust you anymore, you know that.”

“I understand.” It didn’t mean he liked it, though.

Reaching over, you squeezed his hand. You withdrew more slowly than was strictly necessary, but still too quickly for him, and he felt the loss of the warmth from your hand as if in slow motion, fighting back the almost desperate urge to cling to you and never let you leave him, because when you walked out the door, it would really be over.

But you didn’t want him anymore, and nothing he said could change your mind. He watched quietly as you left, taking in every detail of your departing figure before the closing door obstructed his vision, before he broke down in tears.

-----------------------------

With enough time and distance, you could admit that Taehyung was the love of your life. You’d had boyfriends before and after him, but no one had ever made you feel the way he had, like you were soaring above the ground, but unafraid because you knew he would be there to catch you.

Maybe that was why you’d fallen so hard, been hurt so badly. The betrayal coming from the person who’d sworn never to dishonor you had cut you open, and you’d never healed right.

Everyone at your table had gotten up to join the dance floor now, and you were sitting alone, watching.

Looking around, you signaled for a waiter to top up your glass of wine. Now that everything was pretty much done, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to get a little drunk – just to take the edge off the day you’d been having. As nice as the day had been and as proud as you were to watch your baby girl getting married… these events were difficult for you.

You kept remembering your own wedding day, when you’d been so incandescently happy to be marrying Taehyung. Back then, you too had thought you were entering a union that would last a lifetime. But your marriage had been unable to withstand the challenges that life had thrown at you, and all you’d been left with at the end was the broken shambles of a life to pick up and try to piece back together even though there was a giant hole in it.

You were frowning into your glass of wine when Taehyung came to sit next to you. “Hey,” he said quietly, and you turned your head to look at him.

“Hello,” you responded, your voice polite but cold, hoping he’d take the hint and leave you alone. You’d truly had enough, and you didn’t have the emotional strength today to sit and make small talk with Taehyung. Even after so many years, the wounds were still raw and painful.

If your ex-husband was anything, however, it was persistent. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” he pressed on.

“It was,” you agreed coolly. Your hands were resting on the table, and you moved them into your lap, fisting them in the fabric of your dress.

“It made me think of the day we got married.”

Before you knew it, you’d shot out of your seat, the visceral distress at hearing him say those words giving you a jolt of adrenaline. You had to get out of there. “Taehyung, please stop.”

“Y/n, please. You’ve basically ignored my existence for twenty years. I miss you. If you won’t give me anything else, at least let me talk to you tonight.”

When you opened your mouth to speak, your throat felt tight, and you knew you were going to cry. “I—I can’t,” you choked out, before bolting. You streaked out of the ballroom, your body on autopilot, the only thing on your mind getting out of there.

Taehyung watched as you ran from him, guilt stealing over his features. He’d never meant to cause you pain, now or then, but it seemed that was all he was able to do. All he’d been doing for a long time.

He looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed your disappearance and was going to go look for you, but it didn’t look like it – Sunmi and her husband were still wrapped up in each other, as they should be, and almost everyone else was either dancing or at the bar, already drunk.

Sighing, he got out of his seat. He was reluctant to chase you down since his insistence on speaking to you was what had upset you in the first place, but there was nobody else to do it. He just hoped that he would be able to hold it together to actually help you.

You might have let your body carry you wherever it wanted to go, but Taehyung walked with purpose. He had a pretty good idea of where you were, and his hunch was proven right when he saw you pacing by the pool. For some reason, you’d always had an affinity for pools.

“Y/n,” he called out, and you stopped your pacing to turn around.

“How did you find me so quickly?” you asked with a frown, and he shrugged.

“You haven’t changed much in twenty years.”

-----------------------------

Taehyung swallowed hard as he looked up at the house. For almost ten years now, this had been his home. But now as he approached, fishing his keys out of his backpack, he couldn’t help the trepidation that filled him, making his hands shake and his heart pound.

He didn’t know what to say to you, didn’t know how to fix this. With his heart sinking into his stomach, he admitted to himself for the first time that maybe this couldn’t be fixed.

God, he didn’t even know why he’d done that, gone out to get drunk and find some other girl to hook up with. He’d just been so lonely, and it had been so long since he’d had sex. Even before the tour, which had been nine months long, you two had been on such bad terms that you hadn’t slept together in months. It didn’t excuse his appalling lapse in judgement, though.

With a sigh, he opened the door and stepped into the house, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw all your shoes, still lined up neatly on the shelves. So, you hadn’t left, then.

Dropping his things on the floor, he made his way through the house. At the beginning of your relationship, he might have checked the bedroom or the couch – any of the usual places where someone might be moping – but now he knew better.

Just as he’d expected, you were sitting in a lounge chair by the pool out back, a bottle and a single wine glass on the side table next to you. You turned your head when you heard the sound of the door opening, though you didn’t bother greeting him. The pool area was dark, lit only by the moon and the light shining through the windows in the house.

As he drew closer, he saw that your face was stained with tears, but your eyes were dry.

“Y/n,” he greeted uncertainly, drawing closer.

“You’re here,” you observed, your voice impassive. No hello, no welcome home.

“I had to talk to you, to apologize. Please, Y/n, I—” In his desperation, his voice grew louder, and in response you drew back, folding your arms across your chest and pulling your legs in, turning your face away from his stubbornly.

“I think everything there is to be said has been said.”

“No, Y/n, please, it was a mistake, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” Taehyung sat at the edge of the lounge chair, and your shoulders hunched over more tightly, betraying your discomfort.

“Well, you did. Please leave,” you requested.

“Y/n, please, talk to me,” he begged, reaching out to put his hand on your knee, before thinking better of it and pulling back. His fists clenched in his lap.

“I said everything I had to say last night. I don’t want to see you right now.” Your voice was tightly controlled. You didn’t want him to see you falling apart. He didn’t get to know how heartbroken you were, how he’d destroyed you.

“Divorce?! Y/n, please. I made a mistake and I know it was bad, but we can get through this, can’t we? We can figure it out. I’ll do anything, I swear.” His voice trembled helplessly, and he felt cold all over. It felt like he was falling to pieces in front of you, and you wouldn’t help. “I’ll work to earn your forgiveness, I swear.” You could hear the earnestness in his voice and knew that he was telling the truth. If Taehyung was anything, it was a hard worker, and you knew he would dedicate himself to this task like he’d never done before.

But it wasn’t enough. “I can’t. I can’t get past this, Taehyung.” With those words, you got up and walked away from him again, leaving him in the dark. By the time he managed to marshal the strength to move his body, you were gone from the house. He didn’t see you again until the division of assets.

-----------------------------

“Taehyung…” Your voice trailed off, your shoulders hunching around your ears uncomfortably. You knew you were both recalling that night, when he’d begged you to forgive him, or at least give him a chance to earn your forgiveness, and you’d rejected him flatly.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” His next words surprised you somewhat. You’d been expecting him to continue with your earlier topic of conversation. This, though, wasn’t necessarily better. The words echoed in your head and turned into his desperate, sobbed apologies of twenty years ago. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You inclined your head in a stiff nod, grudgingly accepting his apology and hoping he would leave you to your thoughts. Why did he still do this to you? He’d been your ex-husband now for longer than you’d been together, and yet you remained so easily affected by him.

Damn Kim Taehyung, you thought suddenly, viciously. He’d sunk his claws into you thirty-two years ago and had never let you go. With the sudden flash of anger and resentment fueling you, you bit out, “You never do.”

Right in front of your eyes, Taehyung seemed to deflate. His shoulders slumped and he put his hands in his pocket, head bowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. When you made your speech earlier, he’d genuinely thought that you were extending an olive branch to him. It was why he’d tried again to talk to you. It seemed like, not for the first time, he was wrong. “I’ll leave you alone, then.”

With that, he turned and started to walk away. Cursing your inability to let him go, you called out to him. “Wait, Taehyung.”

He spun around so quickly you felt a little dizzy on his behalf. “What is it?” he asked earnestly, his eyes wide.

“That was mean of me to say, and it was uncalled for. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged awkwardly, scuffing his shoe on the floor. “Don’t be. I understand that you still hate me. I would too.”

Since it seemed like tonight was a night for spilling secrets, yours tumbled out of your mouth thoughtlessly. “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t.”

His reaction was so dramatic it was almost comical. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he took a half-step towards you before stopping short, not sure what to do with that information. “But—but you…”

Cringing as awareness of what you’d told him filtered back into your brain, you turned away, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Y/n, talk to me, please,” he pleaded. “I just want to understand.” You could hear from his voice and footsteps that he was approaching you, and he stopped just a few paces away, wanting to be closer but trying not to overcrowd you.

“Stop it, Tae,” you said, the old nickname slipping out in your distraction. It didn’t even register with you as you grappled with your emotions, trying to rein them in, but he had to moderate his voice to stop the joy from coming through.

“If you tell me to go I will, Y/n, but I’m just curious. I’ve spent the past twenty years thinking you hated me for what I did. I mean, you’ve barely been able to look at me for all this time.”

“Taehyung…” You turned back to him, then noted the intensity of his gaze with some surprise. It compelled you to speak, like it always had. “I never hated you. I couldn’t. I can’t.”

“Then… then why?” His voice broke on the last word, his voice filled with hurt and confusion.

You gave him a small shrug. “I couldn’t trust you anymore.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t understand why I didn’t think you were trustworthy after finding you about to hook up with a girl while you were on tour?” You rolled your eyes derisively. “It’s not rocket science, Tae. Was that even the first time?”

“What—Yes!” he yelled. “I swear to God, Y/n. It was a mistake. A shitty, terrible mistake, and one that I apologized for a million times. But you wouldn’t even listen to me, and I thought it was because you hated me, but now… we could have worked this out, couldn’t we?” The raw longing in his voice made you look away from him, because your eyes were filling with tears.

“Stop it,” you choked. “This is ancient history. There’s no point in bringing it up.”

“Y/n, it may be ‘ancient history’ to you, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. I love you, and I never stopped, even though everything went so wrong. I know you don’t have to do this. You can walk away right now, and I won’t chase you, I swear. But if you don’t mind, I really, really want to know what was going through your mind then.”

You bit your lip, your face still turned away from him, as you thought about it. For twenty years you’d hidden your tears from him, but if you decided to accede to his request, that ended tonight. Were you strong enough?

“Love… isn’t enough for a relationship, Tae. How was I supposed to trust you after what I saw?” You picked at an imaginary loose thread on your dress.

“Love? You still loved me after that?” Incredulity coloured his voice. You didn’t blame him – you hadn’t exactly shown it, instead pushing him away relentlessly.

“Taehyung…” Your voice caught. You’d always known, intellectually, that you’d hurt him, but seeing his anguish written all over his face made it real. “You’re the love of my life. I could never stop loving you.”

“Y/n…” Taehyung felt like his soul had left his body. Moving completely on autopilot, he took a step forward, then another, until he was standing right in front of you, one hand on your waist. “Please,” he whispered, his other hand cupping your cheek, before leaning down to kiss you.

You wanted to push him away and run off, screaming, but instead your eyes fluttered shut as he brushed his lips against yours gently, your hands reaching out to grasp his shirt. “Tae,” you said, your voice basically a wisp of air, when he pulled back.

“Thank you,” he rasped, starting to step back. As pathetic as it sounded, that tiny, chaste kiss was enough to last him the rest of his life.

It wasn’t enough for you, though. You’d forgotten – forced yourself to forget – what it felt like to have him pressed against you, towering over you, worshipping you with every caress. All of that had been tainted when you saw him with that other nameless girl, but having him here with you now, twenty years later, you felt the first inklings of doubt. After so much time and everything that had happened, he was still here with you, begging you to talk to him. It was clear that he loved you and you certainly felt the same way about him, and for the first time, you asked yourself – could love be enough?

When he made to move away, you tightened your fingers in the fabric of his shirt, holding him close. Taehyung looked down at you with surprise. “Y/n… what is it?” he asked.

Instead of answering him in words, you pulled him flush to your body and kissed him again, releasing his shirt in favour of winding your arms around his neck as his body collided into yours. Unlike the last one, this wasn’t a gentle, chaste peck. Your kiss was filled with all the longing and passion of the past twenty years, and Taehyung couldn’t help but react, his hands gripping your waist as he deepened the kiss hungrily.

You moaned into the kiss, a high-pitched, needy sound, as your arms tightened around his neck, pulling him yet closer to you. Hearing it, Taehyung tightened his grip on your waist, shuddering as he rolled his hips helplessly against you.

Breaking away from the kiss, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingling with his in the small space between your faces. “Y/n,” he panted.

“Tae,” you whined, your arms dropping to your sides as you hooked your fingers in his belt loops. “I missed you so much.”

He swore under his breath. This seemed like the reconciliation he’d dreamed of for so many years, but something was off. He’d always been able to tell with you, and he knew he didn’t have the whole story yet. It would be irresponsible and selfish for him to pursue this while you were clearly still in a fragile state, and as much as some dark part of him wanted to, he couldn’t do that to you.

So he took a step back and sucked in a deep breath to regain his composure – then almost lost it promptly when he saw you staring at him with that dark, intense gaze that haunted his dreams. “Stop looking at me like that,” he grumbled, ducking his head to hide his flush. “I’m trying to be good.”

“Could have tried that twenty years ago,” you muttered, but Taehyung, being so close to you, heard. The words cut through the haze in his mind like a knife and he dropped his arms to his sides immediately, turning away from you to hide how much your words had hurt him. He knew he deserved it, but the pain of hearing how much you hated him, dashing the new, timid hope growing in his chest like grass in the spring… it devastated him.

“Y/n… I’m sorry,” he choked, his hands balling into fists. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for doing that, and for hurting you, and if there was one thing in my life I could take back, it would be that. I’ve apologized a million times over; I’ve offered to leave you alone tonight. You were the one who initiated that kiss. I just—I don’t know what you want from me.

“I can’t do this anymore. I love you so much, and even though you say you love me, you’ll never forgive me. It just… it hurts so much, knowing that nothing I say or do will ever be enough to make it better.”

His words tore through you, shredding your anger and resentment like tissue. Your hurt may be old, but his… it was fresh, and every time you rejected his company or made a snide remark, it was like rubbing salt in his wounds. You knew he was sorry, that he regretted it, and sometimes even you wondered why that wasn’t enough for you.

Darting forward, you grasped his large fist, cupping it between your hands. “Taehyung, I’m sorry.” Your words were sincere and heartfelt, and you gripped his hand tightly, like you were afraid he would leave – and why wouldn’t he? He’d made you feel like you weren’t enough once, and you’d walked away from him. Really, how could you blame him for doing the same thing?

“I know I wasn’t a perfect wife.” It was the first time you’d ever admitted it out loud. “It doesn’t excuse what you did, but learning that I couldn’t have more children was heartbreaking for me.”

Taehyung stopped short. You’d never acknowledged this before. Without thinking about it, he uncurled his fingers to hold your hand, giving you what support he could as the confession spilled from your lips.

“I know you wanted children, a big family. Finding out that I couldn’t give you that…” Your voice broke, and Taehyung reacted, turning to draw you into his arms. You nestled in his embrace like you’d never left, your body fitting perfectly against his.

“I felt like I wasn’t enough.” You’d been carrying this secret hurt inside you for so long, and to say it out loud gave you a sense of relief, as if a crushing weight had been lifted from your chest.

“Y/n…” Taehyung’s voice was thick with emotion. He wanted to tell you that you were wrong, that you’d always been enough for him, but he couldn’t find the words.

“And seeing you with her… it just made it so much worse.” You were sobbing now, your fists clenched as you cried into his shirtfront, reliving the anguish you’d felt at believing yourself inadequate, how much you’d hated him even as you loved him like you’d never loved anyone before or since. How could someone you’d let into the deepest recesses of your soul use that power to hurt you so badly, you’d wondered. That night had been a confirmation of every secret fear you’d let fester for a year, and you’d run from the hurt as fast and as far as you could.

As much as he wanted to sink to his knees, Taehyung forced himself to remain standing, so you could lean on him. It was the one thing he could offer you, and even though it was laughably insufficient to fend off the wave of guilt that crashed over him, he forced himself to, tucking your head under his chin and gathering you up like he could shield you from the pain.

“Y/n… you’ve always been enough for me. Only you could be enough for me. And I’m sorry.” His voice broke on the last word. For the first time, words couldn’t capture the depth of his remorse, how fucking bad he felt. He would gladly tear out his heart and present it to you if it made you feel just a tiny bit better. It had always been yours, anyway.

Even though Taehyung had apologized to you countless times before, this was the first time you truly believed it, and the sorrow and remorse in his voice filtered through the haze of hurt and anger that you’d been living under for decades. He held onto you like you’d evaporate if he let you step out of his arms, like he was going to hug you for the next twenty years, for all the time he had missed.

You stayed like that for five minutes, just soaking in each other’s presence and comfort, but eventually common sense began coming back to you. “Taehyung,” you sniffled, wriggling slightly in his grasp.

“Just a little longer, please,” he begged, the words whispered into your hair.

“Taehyung, we can’t stay out here.”

He whined, sounding incredibly childlike and not at all like the distinguished middle-aged man he was. “I don’t want this to end,” he pouted.

“Tae—”

He cut you off by squeezing you so tightly you squeaked as the air left your lungs. Rolling your eyes fondly – some things never changed, it seemed – you squirmed determinedly until he had no choice but to let you go, and he stared at you with a bereft gaze.

“Come on, you drama queen,” you said, holding your hand out to him. He perked up visibly and put his hand in yours, not even questioning where you were taking him.

Taking him to your hotel room felt familiar, but new and exciting at the same time. It brought to your mind memories of sneaking around back when you’d first started dating, when he would come over to your apartment in the middle of the night, and you’d smuggle him in, giggling the whole time.

It wasn’t like you were necessarily doing anything wrong – both of you were single, adults, and this time, there weren’t any pesky contractual obligations to keep all relationships out of the public eye. Catching the divorced parents of the bride sneaking off together might raise a couple of eyebrows, though.

Taehyung wound his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch as you fiddled with the key card. Now that you were back in his arms, he found himself basically unable to give it up, hungrily soaking in all the physical contact he’d dreamt of for so long. When you managed to get the door open and stepped through, he refused to let go, instead doing a strange crab-walk while still clinging to you.

“Tae,” you giggled, your hands resting on his arms. “You need to let go.”

“Never,” he insisted, burying his face in your neck. “Not letting you go again,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Tae…” your voice trailed off as you focused on taking off your shoes, which was made more difficult by the new limpet you’d acquired. Now a few inches shorter, you turned in his embrace and tilted your head up to brush your nose against his. The cute gesture was somewhat undermined by the way he immediately claimed your lips in a torrid kiss, his large hand splayed across the back of your head, and you knew that if not for the updo your hair was currently welded into, he would already be tugging on it.

“I missed you so much,” he groaned, his hand sliding from your head to the top of the zipper on the back of your dress. Instead of sliding it down, though, he paused, fiddling nervously with the tab.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, opening your eyes as you pulled back slightly.

“Are you sure you want this?”

You took a step back, out of his grasp, so you could get a better look at him. “Are you?”

Taehyung hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous about this. It was what he’d wanted for years, right?

“Tae…” As always, you could read him perfectly, and you held out your hand to him. “Come talk to me. What’s bothering you?” You led him to the couch, sitting down on the mattress facing him. He refused to let go of your hand, and you had to lean forward awkwardly.

“You won’t leave again, right?” he asked anxiously, and your brows shot up in surprise. His gaze continued darting around the room, refusing to settle on you, and you got up, closing the distance between you as you sat sideways on his lap.

“Tae, what are you talking about?” you asked, your fingers winding into the short hairs at the nape of his neck and stroking softly, the way you remembered he liked.

His lip wobbled, and you wanted to kiss it better. “I don’t want you to leave me again,” he confessed.

“Tae… this is my room. I’m not going anywhere,” you pointed out, and the slightly exasperated side-eye he gave you had you biting your lip to stifle a smirk. Becoming serious now, you added, “I promise I won’t disappear, okay? We can take things slow, and see where it goes,” before you pulled him close and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek.

This wasn’t exactly what Taehyung wanted, but he supposed it was reasonable. Acquiescing, he turned to kiss you properly, allowing it to grow heated. You moved to straddle him, but the long dress made it difficult, and you hiked it up around your hips impatiently. Taehyung ran his tongue along your bottom lip and you moaned, heat pooling in your lower belly.

The sound spurred Taehyung to drag you closer to him, his hands kneading the flesh around your hips hungrily. You felt a flash of self-consciousness – the last time he’d seen you naked was decades ago, and your body had definitely changed since then, and not for the better. The greedy way he felt you up with the same hunger as he had back in your twenties when everything was new and exciting, though, banished the insecurities from your mind quickly.

Still kissing him, you ran your hands up his chest, delighting in how firm and solid he still was, before tugging his tie loose and dropping it carelessly somewhere. You attacked the buttons on his shirt impatiently, almost too excited to work them properly. Taehyung wasn’t faring any better, having roughly pulled your zipper all the way down – you gave a silent prayer for the nice zipper on the expensive dress, because if it had gotten caught, he would probably have ripped the whole thing.

You let go of him just long enough to allow him to push the dress off your shoulders so it pooled around your waist, and shivered as he put his hands on your bare skin, running them up your back to pop open the clasp of your bra.

“Tae,” you whined, tugging on his shirt, and he chuckled as he moved to help you with the rest of the buttons while you shrugged the straps of your bra off, tossing it behind you somewhere. His undershirt went the same way, and you moaned when his bare chest made contact with yours, kissing him frantically as you squirmed on top of him.

Taehyung wasn’t unaffected – you could feel his hard-on pressing against your thigh as he fondled your breast, rubbing his thumb against your pebbled nipple. “Fuck, Y/n,” he groaned in that deep, raspy baritone that you’d missed so much, his hands dropping to your thighs as he held you against him, standing up and depositing you on the bed. You gasped in surprise – you’d always enjoyed being manhandled by him, and were impressed that he was still able to lift you up so easily.

Instead of joining you immediately, he yanked your dress all the way off, letting it pool on the floor, before reaching for his belt. He wasn’t able to get it off before you hooked your fingers in his belt loops and yanked him towards you impatiently, causing him to lose his balance and fall on you. “Y/n,” he grumbled, though there was laughter in his voice. He pushed himself up on his hands, looking down at you, and you undid his belt with far greater dexterity than you’d handled his shirt buttons.

Pulling the leather through the loops – and shivering at the whistling sound the belt made, a familiar one from your more adventurous romps from days past – you dropped it beside you before working on his trousers.

“Someone’s impatient,” Taehyung teased, and you scoffed at him.

“You’re one to talk,” you retorted, and he didn’t respond immediately, but that might have been because you plunged your hand into his underwear to grasp his hard cock. Taehyung had always been big, and you clenched on yourself as you remembered what it had felt like to have him stretching you open. God, how you’d missed him, pined for him on those long, lonely nights.

You pumped his cock slowly, running your thumb across the head to collect the pre-cum already beading there and listening to him growl and pant above you, long fingers diving into your panties to stroke you eagerly as his lips returned to yours. He found you wet and sticky already, dipping his fingers in the orifice before returning to circle your clit with all the expertise you’d come to expect after almost a decade of marriage. Some things were embedded in your muscle memory and being with each other felt like that.

Because you knew it would drive him wild, you released his erection, causing him to pull away to look down at you questioningly. With a smirk, you raised your hand to your mouth, dragging the pad of your thumb across your tongue. “Hmm,” you cooed, your eyes fluttering shut. “You taste just as good as I remember.”

“Fuck.” The expletive punched out of Taehyung with the last of the oxygen in his lungs, leaving him breathless. You were so flawless, perfect for him in every way, and he couldn’t wait anymore. He pulled your panties off so hard that they ripped before pushing his own boxers down just far enough to release his painful erection. The head was flushed bright red, the veins standing out along the length, and your mouth watered, but that wasn’t what he was going for right now.

As he pushed your thighs apart with his own, one hand snaked around his cock, stroking it a few times to take the edge off. You both watched, enthralled, as he slid the head of his erection along your slit, gathering up the wetness, before pressing into you. The stretch was immediate, tears springing to your eyes as you tensed up in response.

“Fuck, Y/n, you’re so tight,” Taehyung gritted, leaning down to kiss you. His tongue slid against yours filthily, making you moan, as his fingers reached between you to rub your clit. “I missed you, I love you, I love you,” he groaned as he sank into you, your heels pressing against the small of his back and egging him on. You’d half expected him to pound you into tomorrow after the urgency of the foreplay, but he seemed content to take it slow, kissing you and caressing your side as he thrust almost lazily. He buried his face in your neck and you stroked his hair as your breath caught on the pleasure.

“Taehyung,” you breathed, your voice hitching as he brushed against your g-spot. Of course he remembered exactly where it was, you thought fondly. “I love you so much,” you confessed, the words hanging in the air. He didn’t respond to you, continuing the smooth motions of his hips, and you wondered if he was even listening to you, but then you heard it.

A sob, muffled against your neck. The sound made you panic, and you pushed at his shoulders so that you could look at him. He resisted a little, but you kept stroking your hands down his sides to reassure him. “Tae, are you okay? Is this okay?”

Finally, he lifted himself off you, but immediately went in for another kiss, this time tender and sweet, his lips moving gently against yours. “Say that again?” he requested, and you could see the tears shining in his eyes.

“Tae, I love you,” you moaned as he drove into you harder, gripping your thigh as he angled himself to hit your g-spot again. He was rushing for the finishing line now, you could tell, as he reached back down to thumb at your clit with unerring precision. Your confession had done it for him, but he would not cum before you. It had to be perfect, the best beginning to your future together.

“Again,” he breathed, needing to hear the words from you once more, and you acquiesced, repeating it with each thrust, until the pleasure grew too great and you just gasped and moaned instead, spelling your love for him out in the scratches on his back and the way your heels drummed against him, begging him to get closer, deeper inside of you, to never leave.

“Tae—fuck,” you cried out as you crested, clenching hard on his cock in you as your arms and legs tightened around him. In that instant, as close as he was to you, you needed more, tears springing to your eyes at the feeling of his hands and mouth on you after so long, gentle but sure, reverent yet debased.

Feeling you orgasm around him was too much for his already faltering restraint, and with a final thrust, he came, shuddering in your arms as he shot ropes of cum deep inside you.

In the aftermath, Taehyung sank down on you, and though you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay like this forever, you welcomed his weight pressing you into the bed. He almost surrounded you, his warmth comforting, and you stroked his back as he caught his breath.

A moment later, he lifted himself off you, seeking another kiss which you happily gave him. He tucked an errant strand of hair that had stuck itself to your sweaty cheek behind your ear, and you smiled up at him, eyes shining. As amazing as the sex was, Taehyung had always shown the extent of his love for you through those tender, soft touches that came like second nature to him.

“I love you,” he told you again, emotion shimmering in his eyes. You were tempted to be cheeky and say I know, because he’d told you so many times tonight, but you could sense the vulnerability radiating off him and knew this wasn’t the right moment for your sass.

“I love you too,” you told him instead, reaching up to cup his face and brushing your thumb against his cheekbone to wipe the tear that escaped. There was so much more you had to talk about – establishing boundaries and rules for this new old relationship, clearing the air between you. Hell, after twenty years apart, who knew if you were still compatible with each other?

However, you pushed all those thoughts away as you hugged Taehyung’s sweaty, exhausted body closer to you. Just for tonight, you promised yourself, you would let love be enough.

[silver-spider-art]

CW: angry fandom rant

yes I can be a SY type fan but I always try and avoid directing it at actual people, so I'm yelling into the void instead

Okay, I've gotten far too deep into the SVSSS fandom and feel the need to rant today. I love stories about SJ of all stripes but he's a complex morally gray character so i 100% get that not everyone feels the same. I can even get people who just accept all the accusations about him given in the book and treat him as completely bad (though i disagree as the whole point of the novel was about misunderstandings, unreliable narration, cycles of abuse and how that hurts people thus we can assume anything SY and the sect thought they knew about SJ for the first half the novel is false or half truth). So I don't like fics that treat SJ as bad and totally completely different from SY (he isn't, look at how SY treats SQH, isn't that a lot like how SJ was described to treat others? Just cuz the target is dif doesn't change the abuse), but where I draw the fucking line and pisses me the fuck off is people who hate on SJ but are all Original LBH deserves a hug, redemption for Original LBH!! The fuck??? Literally any abuse SJ did couldn't've ever deserved the torture he received. If he did everything he was accused of, he should've been removed as a teacher and stripped of his rank, but NOTHING justified Original LBH's 'revenge' (stories that deal with Original LBH before he murders half the world and tortures people are exempt from this rant). I'm talking about the one that cuts off limbs and fucks his way through the world (no way most those women are actually there willingly or happily too). If you fucking think a unrepentant murder who killed innocent children (he destroyed the entire Sect and all those who died when the realms merged) and tortures people to death is more deserving of redemption than a slave who killed his owner and later went on to (at worst) mistreat kids and use corporal punishment harshly (all bad but we are talking about a local villain vs a genocidal tyrant), I just can't stand it. SJ did wrong, he's not nice or kind, but Original LBH is 100 times worse and he chose that life. Being abused doesn't justify hurting others and that applies to BOTH characters!!!! SJ influenced LBH but he didn't make him! Being abused is no excuse for murder (I'm talking premeditated not acts of defense. The dif between SJ killing QJL and LBH killing SJ is one was an abused child slave trying to escape and the other was a king who no longer was in any danger from his former abuser).

Just UGH! Why oh why can people look at Original LBH and see something they love when I can barely tolerate LBH who get SY in the end regardless. He still hurt people, he still terrified SY, he still can't fucking take no for an answer without resorting to emotional manipulation. How is that the basis for a good romance? And then you want to give SY to the blackened Original????? The fuck???

So yeah... T-T I'm going to try and stay in my LiuShen, LiuJiu lane and stick to my SY&SJ fics or my 'SY is SJ' fics. I enjoy character explorations and dark fics though, and I can totally get behind some good old vinegar chugging pinning or unhealthy relationships which is what gets me to click on fics that caused this rant in the first place... Just...

Please, DO NOT tag a fic "happy ending" when said ending is a victim realizing they love their torturer actually. Or it's happy because the unrepentant murderer gets to have someone with the same face as his victim kiss him so he's "good" now actually. That isn't a happy ending! I'm not saying you can't write something, just accept that it is what it is, an abusive relationship. Tag appropriately. It's all I'm asking. Don't 180 me at the end of a tear jerker angst fest with a "and now they are in love" after 2k of torture.

TL;DR: I think that the fandom needs more LBH/Forever Alone content. Boy doesn't know how to love in a healthy way and neither do some of y'all.

[twistedtranslations]

Trey Clover - If you started to enjoy it

You can unlock this story by getting Trey’s SSR Dorm Uniform

Translation under the cut

Heartslabyul Dorm - Rose Maze

Ace: Isn't it unproductive to take care of the lawn? Those weeds’ll grow back in no time even if you properly pull ‘em out.

Deuce: Sometimes I really resonate with you, Ace. I feel like we’re stuck doing this forever with no end in sight.

Trey: Come on guys, don't slack and keep at it. A perfect lawn is essential for the "Unbirthday party".

Cater: If the garden looks unseemly, I can't take a pretty picture. After the weeding, the pruning awaits you! Fight on!

Ace: Huh, why do only the first years have to…

Trey: The only thing the first years are in charge of is the rare croquet game. The second and third years have other serious jobs to do. Everyone helps to prepare the party. That is what the law of the Queen of Hearts states. By doing our best to cooperate for the preparation, we can develop a better sense of unity… Don't you think that's surprisingly suitable for us?

Ace: ... I feel like everyone’s only cooperating because they fear the dorm leader will have their heads.

Deuce: Then what are you guys in charge of?

Cater: I'm preparing the venue~ Please look forward to an exciting arrangement!

Trey: I'm making the cake. An "Unbirthday party" is not complete without a cake after all.

Ace: Yay! We're getting your super delicious cakes! What kind of cake are you baking this time?

Trey: What kind of cake?… Hm, it's something I can't explain so easily. The definition of an "Unbirthday party" is a party with no birthday. There's no cake really fitting for that.

Ace: I think that depends on the sense and ideas of the creator… Ah. Doesn't that mean that the cake itself can be any kind? But melon tarts are a no go.

Trey: Huh? Ah, I understand. According to the laws of the Queen of Hearts… "The cake should have a candle" and "Melon tarts are prohibited" are the only rules…

Ace: Okay, then why don't we go for a cherry pie base instead of the usual cake! The sweet sourness is great and the crunchy pie dough makes for a perfect texture! … I like it better than anything else.

Deuce: Ace, don't trouble Clover by saying shoving your requests in. Furthermore… A chiffon cake made with lots of eggs is better than a cherry pie. The humble sweetness makes it digestible for everyone.

Ace: Now you're just making requests for the thing you want to eat!

Deuce: I-I'm not. I'm thinking about the entire dorm…

Heartslabyul Student A: What, are we requesting cakes? I want a chocolate cake!

Heartslabyul Student B: I'd like a cheese cake!

Heartslabyul Student C: A cake doesn't have to be limited to sweetness. Trey, why don't you try something like quiche?

*muttering*

Trey: There, there, guys. I never said I was taking requests from anyone! And in the first place, I'd have to prepare the ingredients. Immediate changes are hard, you know.

Ace: With your skills you'd be able to manage it~

Cater: I understand why you guys are pleading with our genius patissier~ But don’t you think you’re putting him on the spot by pestering him?

Heartslabyul Student A: But no matter how delicious a cake is, eating the same thing repeatedly will make you tired of it.

Ace: Ah, right? Fresh flavors are also important… I’m fed up with it, I want to eat something different every time.

Trey:… I see. Then why don't you guys try making the cakes yourselves? That way, you can eat your favorite cake. Our college endorses the study of cooking with the elective subject "MasterChef".

Deuce: Now that you say it, "MasterChef" is a practical class, right?

Trey: Yes. It's a traditional program from the past to teach students how to cook for themselves after graduation. It's not a mandatory subject, so few students take it, but it's very informative if you want to learn the basics.

Heartslabyul Student A: Hm… then we should try it. You can make it look so easy.

Heartslabyul Student C: It seems much more fun and easy than maintaining this plain law!

Trey: There's always a shortage of helping hands for making sweets, so if you started enjoying cooking because of that, you'd really help me out. Then I shall hand my kitchen utensils over and you guys can be in charge of the cakes.

Deuce:… Ace, you should apologize for that just now. For the whole being tired of his cakes and there not being new flavors…

Ace: You should too. Trey was simply too kind and didn’t get angry.

Deuce: Yeah… Even so? It's true that Trey is an adult, after all. It's rare for there to be helpful and nice people amongst the student body of this college… If I was being told that the job I had to do was "Easy, ", I would get pissed off.

Ace: If you got pissed that easily, you wouldn't be able to take care of our impatient dorm leader.

Cater: You're right. I haven't seen Trey get angry much~… Well, if you do make him angry, he drags it on for a fairly long time.

Chapter 2

Heartslabyul Dorm

Riddle: Unbelievable. Who was slacking for things to end up like this? No one has pruned the lawn, the colors of the roses are inconsistent and the tableware has not been polished! We won't be able to make it for tomorrow's "Unbirthday party"!

Trey: Calm down Riddle. Why don't we try to finish the party with no beheadings?

Riddle: Urgh…

Trey: There's no one who can do everything perfectly from the start. As for the first years, how about I teach them some magic that can help them prune the lawn more efficiently? If we finish everything carefully, one by one, we might make it in time for the party?

Riddle:… You are right. I understand. Thank you Trey.

Trey: Okay. I shall check the roses that still have to be painted… but before that, I'll check up on the kids in the kitchen, just in case.

Heartslabyul Dorm - Kitchen

Heartslabyul Student A: I'm making a chocolate cake but the chocolate won't melt. I'm putting all the chocolate bars in the oven!

Heartslabyul Student B: Weren't we making a cheesecake? I'm pretty fussy about cheese. Let's try making some with magic from milk.

Heartslabyul Student C: Didn't I say it was going to be quiche? By the way, does anyone know how to handle this fish…?

Trey: How lively. I see, do your best.

Cater: Ah, Trey. Dif you feel like watching over the first years who are encouraging each other to make cakes?

Trey: Kind of. Is the construction of the venue you're in charge of finished?

Cater: *sigh*… I'm really doing my best… I've been getting more nervous the more the "Unbirthday party" nears and lately Riddle has been in a super foul mood~ If we make one more mistake he might explode.

Trey: He hasn't exploded yet, so you can just proceed, right? That guy is also doing his best.

Cater: And there you go. You're coddling him! You guys have that kind of relationship because you've been together since childhood, right? I don't have childhood friends so I don't really understand, but don't you tire of it?

Trey: Actually, back in the days, he really didn't carry that angry image with him. He might feel responsible now because he is the dorm leader.

Cater: Huh, really? But the rumors say that he inherited it from his tiger mom?

Trey: Hehehe. They say that, but Riddle's mother wasn't really like that. When it was revealed that Riddle came over to play, she marched into my home, looking ten times more threatening than Riddle, and lectured our family for five hours.

Cater: Scary… you really shouldn't laugh that much, Trey!

Trey: Thinking about it now, I can make fun of it. That someone can get so angry about a child playing. But now that you say it, it was really scary at that time. I totally didn't understand why she was angry…

Trey: I was really worried whether or not I was guilty of doing something terrible. When I asked Che'nya, he merely said "I don't know nya~", so I had no one to talk it over with. And I think she got way more angry at Riddle than I, so I felt really guilty.

Cater: Heh. You were pretty serious since you were small huh… Are you the anxious type?

Trey: I think anyone who met that mother would be. In any case, once you made her angry, she was untouchable. If you think about that, I'm just grateful that sweets seem to cheer Riddle up.

Cater: About that! I totally understand why your tarts cheered Riddle up earlier. Honestly, your cakes deserve the graces of god. How many times have they saved me in this year…

Trey: Flattery doesn't work on me. Besides, this time, it seems I wasn't up to the task and had to relinquish my position.

Cater: Hahaha… Yeah. At least I didn't imagine he was angry.

Trey: Did you say anything?

Cater: Nothing~

Heartslabyul Dorm - Tea Garden

The day of the unbirthday party

Ace: S-Somehow… I captured all the hedgehogs that ran away in time for the party…

Deuce: The flamingos are perfectly on stand by. With this, the perfect party can start.

Trey: Thank you, you two. It seems you had a lot of trouble preparing.

Riddle: At one point I even thought about what would happen to this party… but it seems that despite all the "Unbirthday party" can start.

Cater: Riddle seems satisfied. It seems like no one will get beheaded today~

Riddle: Oho? I do not see the cake anywhere. Where is it?

Heartslabyul Student A: Uhm… It's…

Riddle: The "Unbirthday party" cannot start unless there's cake. Hurry and fetch it!

Heartslabyul Student B: U-Understood.

Ace: Hm? Don't you think those guys who made the cake look a bit pale?

Trey: …

Chapter 3

Riddle: The "Unbirthday party" cannot start unless there's cake. Hurry and fetch it!

Heartslabyul Student B: W-We brought it.

Heartslabyul Student A: We made this with our utmost effort… A special cake made by the first years.

Everyone: ?!

Deuce: Cough, cough, what's that stench! It smells sugary and smoky and of meat and fish… The acid and spice are hurting my eyes!

Cater: The green syrup, the blue cream and the shocking pink decorations… It's more art than a cake. I could upload it to Magicam with the tag #DestructionandCreation.

Ace: Hey, didn't it move? That cake definitely moved just now? Are you sure it's edible?!

Trey: You really did it. You guys made another intense cake. Just how did you make it like this?

Heartslabyul Student A: Ah, it's not my fault. It's his!

Heartslabyul Student B: Y-You're wrong! It's you who… No, wait? Isn't it Ace who said from the start that he wanted to eat something different? Didn’t he start it?

Ace: Maybe I said that, but you guys made it? I have no hands in this!

Heartslabyul Student C: Then it's Deuce's fault who said that chiffon cake would be nice and started a quarrel.

Deuce: D-Don't involve me! You made your own mess and you can clean it up yourselves!

*fussing*

Riddle: …

Cater: Uhm, Riddle? Let's stay amiable, 'kay?

Riddle: You guys!

Everyone: Argh!

Cater: S-Shit. We did our best, but Riddle is going to explode…!

Riddle: To think you dared to make such a messy cake for the dignified "Unbirthday party"… I hope you are all prepared?!

Ace: Aah! Why us as well!?

Deuce: Dorm leader Rosehearts, please calm down! If we apologize, will you accept…!

Riddle: Do not bother with excuses!!! Off with…!

???: Stop!

Deuce: Huh, that voice is…

Trey: Calm down Riddle.

Ace: T-Trey!

Riddle: What's this Trey, release my arms. I cannot chastise the first years who made a mess of the "Unbirthday party" like this!

Trey: … It is true that this cake does not seem edible by its appearance. It's not appetizing, and the smell is awful. It's laughable.… But wouldn’t you say that a cake made by the combined ideas of the first years is very Heartslabyul-like? With that said, isn’t it quite wonderful?

Riddle: I do not think so in the least!

Cater: Right~

Riddle: Furthermore, there is no candle on this cake. They did not obey the laws of the Queen of Hearts! Why did you not make the cake as you usually do? If you did it normally, something like this would not have…

Trey: I understand, I understand. You don't have to be that upset. Isn't this your long awaited "Unbirthday party". It's fine. I put some cakes aside that I make every time for the "Unbirthday party".

Everyone: Huh?!

Trey: The "Unbirthday party" is Heartslabyul's most important day. It's not like I had any intention to slack?

Riddle:… Then you should have told us earlier. I would have reflexively beheaded the dorm students. The "Unbirthday party" can continue without problems. You guys, thank Trey for that.

Heartslabyul Student B: W-We're saved!

Cater: As expected of you, Trey! Okay, everything is ready. Let's start the "Unbirthday party"!

Trey: Indeed, let's start.… Congratulations on the "Unbirthday party"!

Everyone: Congratulations!

Ace: T-Trey… No, Master Trey! You saved us!

Deuce: I really thought I was going to be beheaded. Thank you for persuading our dorm leader!

Cater: As expected of you, Trey! Just when did you make the other cake?

Trey: Yesterday evening, secretly, when everyone was asleep. I had a bad feeling, so I made it just in case.

Ace: Your cakes always look so delicious~ Just by looking I can feel my belly growl.

Deuce: Aah, I really want to eat it as soon as possible.

Trey: But weren't you two tired of these kinds of cakes?

Deuce/Ace: Huh?

Trey: It seems you guys were tired of eating the same thing every time and wanted some new flavors, so don't worry, me and Riddle will eat this one.

Cater: The first years telling you they were fed up with it really pissed you off, didn’t they?

Ace: T-Trey, please don't be so mean. That was just a slip of the tongue…

Deuce: Indeed! We think your cakes are the best. Right, everyone?

Heartslabyul Students: Yes! We want to eat your cakes!

Trey: … Then you guys understand, right? That making sweets isn't something you can do haphazardly. You have to consider all the risks, make plans beforehand and adapt yourself to the situation at hand… If you can do all that, it can become a routine. You don't have the comfort to make these things at peace.

Ace: Uhm… just to verify, but we're still talking about making sweets, right? Because it sounds an awful lot like you're talking about the dorm leader…

Trey: In any case. Do you now understand my hardships?

Deuce/Ace: Yeah…

Trey: Okay, I'm glad you're honest.

Deuce: We learned a lot.… Thank you for existing, Trey's cakes.

Heartslabyul Students: Bon appétit~…

Trey: Wait.

Deuce/Ace: Huh?

Trey: What do you guys intend to do with the cake you made? You shouldn't waste food. If you're not going to eat it, I won't let you eat the cake I made especially for the "Unbirthday party".

Deuce: W-We have to eat this shitty cake?! We already repented, but it seems just words aren't enough…

Ace: Where has our mature and kind Trey gone…

Cater: The gentler a person usually is, the scarier they'll be when they're angry! Treat this as an opportunity to learn.

[lowkeyed1]

was talking with a friend recently who is trans and 21 and hooboy does she have some dumbbad opinions about queer stuff. it started out with her feeling that cis women shouldn't be doing drag because they're gentrifying it and i was like okay counterpoint it's not really gentrifying bc it's not like they're taking things away or overrunning drag and they have to work pretty hard to get established in their locales and taken seriously. so she went on to talk about how it's annoying that there aren't any queer-only spaces and that allies are annoying and how kids today just pretend to be gay for attention because they think it's cool. and i was like well, it's great you had yourself figured out so young but some people take more time, and i don't see how you can say whether someone isn't really gay or not, and straight people don't usually question themselves at all, and sometimes after a while allies realize that they feel so passionate about it for a whole other reason. and then i was like sidebar, when i was first coming out a lot of gay people didn't think bi people were gay enough and were just tourists who could run away and pass whenever they wanted, and if they were in opposite gender relationships they were completely invalid... ....at the same time she posted how she didn't do the gay group in her high school bc it was '3 gay people and a bunch of maybe 1% bisexuals' and i was like okay maybe this isn't as much of a sidebar after all lol. so i just reiterated that for some people it's a long process to figure themselves out, and it's not good to try and police who's queer enough because you can drive people back into trying to repress themselves. and i shared my experience around that with gender and my long process, and i shared how hurtful it is to be told you're not queer enough and how much it makes you question yourself. and i hope that's food for thought for her. like, what she said brought up a lot of hurtful stuff for me but i also remember having very baddumb opinions about stuff at her age -- for example, i was 100% supportive of trans people as a concept (didn't know any that i was aware of, then), EXCEPT i didn't get gender affirming surgery at all. i thought that trans people should just accept that they are different and still be themselves, and not have surgeries that might damage their sexual function just to fit in with a bullshit socially constructed gender binary. and it took someone gently pointing out that maybe my head was up my ass for me to really think harder about it and actually listen to what trans people have to say about it and how much psychological distress it can relieve and improve lives for me to be like oh i've been a dumbass. also i learned a lot more about how gender affirming surgery actually works that cleared up my misconceptions about it. and i also learned more about how just because i feel a certain not-a-firm-gender kind of way doesn't mean everyone else does and just doesn't realize it bc of conditioning. so please know that you're not going to get everything right the first time in your life, lol. i've had a lot of firm opinions that turned out to be based on not enough information, experience, or empathy and completely changed my mind. that is okay for you to do too! don't get so invested in having to have been right the first time that you keep propping up a bad opinion, it's okay to be wrong and move forward in a better direction. anyway i think she feels uncertain of where she belongs and how to connect with people, so she's turned that energy into territoriality about who belongs on her turf but hooboy... is that ever unproductive. and hurtful, too. i understand she is struggling so hard right now, and i have a feeling she might be preemptively dismissing people she could form great bonds with because they're not passing some litmus test for her. so i hope that she heard something i said and it might grow a little thought to try and think about it all a little differently.

[stardustacefics]

Broccoli is not Mistletoe, YOU ASSHOLE

Pairing: Win/Team

Summary: Team is a physically affectionate asexual who wants all of the hugs. It’s a good thing that Win also loves the cuddles! And can we talk about the ✨communication✨

W/c: 1.4k

He’s beautiful, Win thought to himself as he watched Team, who was sitting at his desk doing homework.

It was a Wednesday evening, and Team had unexpectedly shown up, knocking at his door and begging for help with homework.

Win adored it when Team would drop by unannounced. Whenever he would open the door and find Team standing on the other side, he couldn’t hide his joy. Team had thought of him first. Team had come to him first.

At the moment, Win was staring at Team unabashedly as he worked, soaking in his mere presence. He wanted to touch him. He really wanted to touch him.

Slowly, he walked over to where Team was sitting and stopped beside him. Team didn’t look up, but he must have noticed that he was there, right? Win reached a hand out and threaded his fingers through Team’s hair. Team stopped what he was doing, a soft smile appearing on his face. He glanced up at Win, finding him grinning down at him. Win promptly slid onto Team’s lap, straddling his hips, and took his face in his hands. Team nosed him gently, asking him to continue. Win pressed his lips to Team’s, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Team cupped Win’s cheek as well, giving him the touch that he was so desperately craving. Win sighed against his lips, pulling him closer. As they kissed, Team’s hands began to wander across Win’s back. Win had no power over himself anymore, as he was fully invested in this moment.

Win’s hands slowly drifted down Team’s back and moved to cup his ass. Team froze, eyes snapping open, and a small sound of discomfort escaped from his lips. His heart immediately filled with a dread that he couldn’t control.

Win noticed his apprehension immediately and let go. “Too much?”

Team cleared his throat and looked away.

“It’s okay if it is,” Win added gently.

Still not daring to look at him, Team pressed his lips into a thin line. Shit.

Win pressed a final kiss to Team’s cheek and said, “When you finish your work, do you want to watch some Netflix?”

Plastering a fake smile onto his face, Team nodded. Sensing that this was the end of their moment, he reluctantly complied and let Win slide off of his lap.

“Give me a few more minutes,” Team mustered. “I'll be right there.”

No. It shouldn’t have been too much. He didn’t… he didn’t want to stop. He just didn’t want that.

~

After many more attempts and many more awkward encounters, Win seemed to have given up. Team couldn’t help but feel that Win was tiptoeing around him, and it made him feel horrible. He wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to curl up next to him in his sleep again.

Early one morning, Team gathered up the courage to go to Win’s and tell him everything.

He knocked on the door and was met with a groggy, and not quite awake, Win.

“Hey,” Team said, holding up a bag. “I brought breakfast.”

With a lethargic expression, Win stepped to the side to let him inside. “What… are you doing here so early? We don’t have class for another 3 hours. It’s still dark out…”

“I... uh… got ahead of myself,” he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

Win gave him a concerned look. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Team replied unconvincingly. “…yeah.” After a few moments, he quietly said, “I wanted to apologize.”

“For…what?” Win asked, raising an eyebrow.

“…for being difficult…”

Win tilted his head to the side. “When have you been difficult?”

Team bit his lip, and then blurted, “Could I ask you something?”

Win nodded slightly, still confused as to what was going on.

Shakily, Team muttered, “If we didn’t… have… sex… how would… you feel?”

Win’s gaze melted and his face broke into a kind and endearing smile, understanding the implication. He also understood how anxious Team could get, so he put a hand on Team’s shoulder and said, “Hey, that’s nothing to apologize for. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to do anything.”

Team pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked at Win’s genuine expression. He felt a sickening feeling growing in his stomach. “That’s… uh… not quite…”

Sensing his discomfort, Win took the bag of food that Team was holding and nodded towards the table. The two walked over and sat down, Team looking down at his lap nervously.

“Team, I know-”

“I meant… if we never did it,” Team added slowly, peering up at him apprehensively.

Win nodded and smiled in return. “Team,” Win said, reaching over and taking Team’s hands. He was staring at Team so intently. “I know.”

“W… what?”

“You’re not exactly the most subtle person in the world,” Win said with a sly grin, which suddenly became more serious. “That’s why I backed off a bit. I wasn’t sure what you wanted, and I didn’t… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Team’s jaw went slack. “I… what?”

“We don’t have to have sex. Today, tomorrow, next month, next year. We don’t ever have to have sex.”

There were so many thoughts buzzing around Team’s mind that he couldn’t figure out what to say. “… Hia?”

“Hm?”

“I… I love being close to you… I didn’t mean for you to… back off…” he admitted, cheeks turning a bit red.

Win nodded and gave his hands a small squeeze, adoration glowing in his eyes. “Can I ask… what do you enjoy doing? What would you like?”

Team smiled shyly. “I liked what we had been doing… a lot…”

Win moved over and sat on his lap. “Like this?”

Biting his lip to contain a smile, he nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered. “What… what can I do… for you? What do you like?”

Tilting Team’s chin up, Win touched their noses together. “Kiss me.”

Team immediately leaned in and captured Win’s lips, cherishing the feeling after not having experienced it for so long. God, he missed this.

Win leaned back suddenly and looked him in the eyes, breathlessly saying, “I didn’t know if you wanted this.”

“I really fucking want this,” Team mumbled as he dove back in for another kiss, making Win smile against his lips. His hands drifted up to the back of Win’s neck as he said, “I was so nervous. I didn’t want to let you down.”

“Excuse you,” Win said sarcastically, “But what happened to being brave about your feelings or whatever.” He was smirking at Team slyly, eyes squinting at him. “Don’t make me get the broccoli again,” he teased.

“Asshole,” Team said.

“Really? Because your eyes are saying something completely dif-”

Team captured his lips once again, effectively silencing him. Win giggled against his lips mischievously, making Team smile. He could feel that gnawing guilt subsiding. He had built his own solitude and pushed Win away, yet he was always right beside him, supporting him no matter what.

Win buried his face in Team’s neck, grinning against his skin.

“Hiaaaa,” Team laughed, scrunching up his body.

Leaning back, Win gazed into his eyes, bursting with the utmost happiness.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Team asked hopefully.

Win beamed back at him and nodded eagerly. “Please.” A small giggle slipped from his lips, making Team melt.

~

“I missed this. I really missed this.” Win mumbled, wrapping his arms around Team’s shoulders. The two of them laid nose-to-nose, holding each other close.

“Mmm,” Team hummed, nosing him softly. “Me too.”

“Hey,” Win said softly, staring directly into Team’s eyes. “Thank you. For telling me. I know that it must have been hard.”

Blushing slightly, Team looked down at Win’s lips as he said, “You make me feel safe.” He pressed his lips to Win’s lightly, then glanced up at him again. “I feel like… like I can be honest with you.”

“You can. Always,” Win said, eyes overflowing with fondness.

“Hia,” Team whispered, “Are... are you sure that this is okay? For you?”

“This is wonderful,” Win said affectionately, taking Team’s hands and holding them close to his chest. “You are wonderful.” Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to Team’s hands, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time.

“If you take out that broccoli again, I swear-”

Win laughed and smiled at him lovingly. Letting go of Team’s hands, he reached up to caress Team’s cheek with his thumb. Team nuzzled into his touch, closing his eyes.

Yeah, Team smiled to himself. I’ll be brave about it.

[sexy-monster-fucker]

Same Thing

Quentin Beck|Mysterio x Spider-Girl!Reader

Prompt:  the reader and Mysterio are enemies.  Mysterio is in love with the reader, but she thinks he is just playing a game with her.  (Spider-Girl is a legal adult and has the last name Parker)

warning: minor smut and smut, nsfw 

word count: 2,655

~~~

You stood in front of him again.  He was stuck to the wall, limbs unable to move.  You had him right where you wanted him.  It was like a game between the two of you.  It was like he longed to be caught.  This was always the same.  You two would fight, he would get caught, you’d stick him to the wall, then you’d taunt each other for hours.  Flirting, sometimes touching each other.  

“Spider-Girl, long time no see,” Mysterio smiled at you.  You rolled your eyes under your mask, “It’s been like a day.”  He could not get his smile off his face, “Feels like years when I am away from you.”  You scoffed at him.  You inched closer to him, “You realize we’re enemies, right?  You’re the bad guy and I’m the good guy?”  He attempted to shrug his shoulders, but he was unable to move, “You say enemies, I say friends.  Possibly even lovers.”  You walked over to the wall he was stuck to and leaned beside him.  His eyes followed everything you did.  He was amazed by you.  He was in love with you.  You smiled at him under your mask, “You don’t even know me.”  

“That’s a lie,” you thought.  He did know you.  He was actually fairly close to you outside of the suit.  He was always at your work.  He would always be in your department with you.

“I would love to know you if you’d let me,” he teased you.  You shook your head at him.  You began to walk away, “Those should wear off in a couple hours, you know the drill.”  You stopped.  You turned to look at Quentin.  He looked amazed by you.  “Don’t do this, Parker.  You can’t fall in love with a villain,” you told yourself.  You knew it was too late.  You knew your feelings for him.  They were becoming increasingly hard to hide.  You walked back to him, raising your mask to your nose.  His eyes widened.  You pressed your lips to his.  His cheeks were pink.  You pulled away from him, “Don’t read too much into that.”  He licked his lips, “I’m totally reading into it.”  

You smirked at him.  Quentin bit his lip, “You’re really just going to play with my feelings and leave?”  You placed a hand on his cheek.  You ran your hand to his chest.  He groaned silently, “You’ve never touched me this much.”  You leaned into his neck, placing your lips to it.  You began to bite and suck at his neck.  He let out a deep breath, “Oh my God.”  You pulled away, leaving a deep purple hickey on his neck.  He looked at you deeply.  He wanted to reach for you, but he was stuck in place.  He hated feeling out of control.  You began to walk away again.  “Wait,” he stopped you, “You’re gonna get me all turned on and just leave?”  You smiled to yourself.  You shot a web at his crotch.  He moaned.  “Just some webs?  Wow,” he rolled his eyes.  The webs you shot at him began to vibrate.  Quentin began silently moaning, “Wh-what did you just put on me?”  You chuckled, “That should get you off just in time for the webs to be gone.”  He gritted his teeth at you, “I’d rather you be over here doing it yourself.”  You waved at him, “Too bad.”  With that you left. 

~~

It was the next day.  You thought about Quentin.  You thought about how you played this game with him constantly and he had no idea who you were.  You thought about the big bruise he left on your face yesterday during your brawl.  You had told your boss that you had ran into your door frame.  It did not make sense, but it kept him from asking too many questions.  

You were working on a serum to help rats regrow limbs.  Nothing had been a success yet, but you had not given up yet.  Your boss, Dr. Connors, entered your area.  “Miss Parker?  You have a guest,” he led Quentin in.  You felt your heart rate speed up.  Quentin smiled at you, “Hey, Y/N.”  His smiled was different than it had been last night.  He was different here.  He did not flirt with you here like he did there.  He was subtle here.  You could not tell which was the real him.  

“Hi, Quin.  How’s it going,” you continued with your work.  “I need some advice,” he leaned his body against your back.  You blushed at him.  “Y/N, you’d consider us friends, right?  And friends can talk to friends about their personal stuff, right,” Quentin asked.  You nodded, “Of course, Quin.”  “So, you’re a girl.  If a guy flirts with you and shows obvious signs that he is into you, then you kiss him, is that a sign you like him?  Because I don’t know how else to take it,” he questioned you.  You felt your heart sink.  He was talking about you.  You stuttered, “Well ev-every girl is different.  If it was me, that would be a definite sign.”  

“What happened to your face, Y/N,” Quentin changed the subject.  “I ran into my door frame last night.  Y’know, I was a little tipsy.  Accidents happen,” you laughed to yourself.  Quentin took your face in his hands, “Hmp.  You must’ve hit it pretty hard.”  You laughed awkwardly, “L-Looks like you had an interesting night.  Is that a hickey on your neck?”  Quentin’s expression suddenly became that of a lovesick man.  “Oh, God.  You have no idea.  Since I can trust you, we can talk about it,” Quentin bit his lip.  You smiled at him.  You enjoyed seeing him happy.  “So, I was out with Spider-Girl last night.  And my God, does that girl get me going.  I think I am in love with her, Y/N.  Like for real.  She just makes me feel things I have never felt for anyone before,” he was serious.  You giggled, “You don’t even know who she is.”  Quentin stared at you deeply, “I know that.”  It was like he was trying to tell you something.  It was almost as if he knew.  But that was ridiculous.  

“So, tell me more about her,” you smiled.  Quentin went on to talk about all his time with Spider-Girl and why he was in love with her.

~~

It was later that night.  You stood in the building where Quentin normally came to fight you.  He was later than normal.  You felt your arm hairs stand up and you began stretching, preparing yourself for your fight with him.  You heard his feet land on the ground lightly.  “Alright, Beck.  Let’s go ahead and get this started,” you turned to see him holding flowers.  Your cheeks flooded with heat.  You stood completely still.  

“I know it’s you,” Quentin spoke softly, “I saw the bruise on your face today.  I saw your lips.  I had been questioning it for months.  I knew I had to leave something on you to confirm my suspicions.”  He seemed disappointed, but relieved.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you avoided confirming yourself to him.  He smiled, “That’s what I thought you’d say.  You can’t let your enemy know who you are.  Come on, Y/N.  We don’t have to keep fighting.”  He began walking towards you.  You held your hand out as if to threaten him with your webs.  That did not stop him, he continued.  “Q-Quen- I mean, Mysterio!  Stop.  You know I will use them,” you were shaking mildly.  You backed up with every step he took.  “I don’t want to hurt you!  You know that.  You heard everything I said about you today, you know I’m in love with you.”  You shook your head, “You have no idea who I am, Mysterio!  And it needs to stay that way!”  Your back ran into the wall.  He was directly in front of you now.  You looked up at him, his body towered over you.  He placed his hand on your cheek, rubbing it with his thumb.  “I love you, Y/N,” he spoke softly.  

This was it.  Should you finally show him?  Everything he had said was sincere.  You knew how he felt.  But this could come and bite you in the butt one day.  He wouldn’t do that.  You trusted him.  

You grabbed your mask and ripped it from your face.  You looked up at him.  He smiled with relief, “I knew it.”  “I felt like if I told you... you would see me dif-” “Shhhh.  I would never see you different.  You mean everything to me,” he pressed his lips to yours.  You ran your fingers through his hair.  He had you pinned against the wall.  The tension between the two of you had your Spidey Sense going crazy.  He was biting his lip and staring into your soul.  You were longing for him, but this felt wrong to you.  You thought about how if circumstances were different you would have went for him long ago.  

He was so close.  Things were different when he was the one in control.  You were used to his hands being down, you being the one in control was the norm for you.  This felt odd, but pleasurable.  He ran his hand down the side of your body, trying to bring your attention to him.  You were lost in thought.  “Quentin,” you began, “You have no idea how long I have been wanting to tell you about this.  About me.  I wanted to be with you for so long, but I knew from how you talked about Spider-Girl at work that if I had ever tried anything you would have shot me down.  It was so hard to know the man you wanted was in love with you, but he didn’t know it was you.”  Quentin smiled at you, “But things are different now.  We can have whatever kind of relationship you want.”  You blushed under his gaze, “I... I...”  You could not get any words out.  You were so aroused and embarrassed all at once that you did not know how you felt or what you wanted.  

You pressed your lips to his.  He kissed you passionately.  You took his bottom  lip between your teeth.  Quentin rested his forehead on yours, “Where is this going, Y/N?”   You felt your cheeks grow a deep red under him.  “It’ll go wherever you want it to, Quin,” you whispered.  He smiled at you, “If you say so.”  Quentin crashed his mouth into yours, his tongue venturing it’s way into your mouth.  Your tongues intertwined.  He gripped your breast in his hand causing you to let out a quiet moan.  He pulled away from you, breathing heavy, “Take your clothes off.”  He began to undress in front of you.  Your eyes went to the floor, you were embarrassed to see him naked.  You hit the spider in the middle of your chest to loosen your suit.  You began to remove your suit in front of him when you saw his clothes hit the floor.  He got undressed so fast you couldn’t even compete.  You stood in front of him still in your underwear.  He was completely naked, his penis staring you in the face.  He admired you, “God, you look gorgeous.”  You smiled, “Thanks.”  He pinned you against the wall, his erect penis rested against your stomach.  You groaned.  He smirked at you, “You like that, don’t you?”  You nodded.  He began to kiss and nip at your neck.  You ran your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging at it in your arousal.  He reached his hands around your back, unstrapping your bra.  You dropped it to the floor.  He stared at your exposed breasts.  His hand ventured up your side, stopping at your breast.  He pinched at your hard nipples causing you to moan loudly.  He smiled, “Oh, so you like that?  I can do so much more than that.”  He placed his mouth on your nipple and bit down.  You leaned your head back in ecstasy, “Quin, holy fuck.”  His tongue flicked at your nipple between his teeth.  

Quentin ran his hand down the front of your underwear.  His mouth opened in awe, “So wet and warm already?  Am I really do this to you, Y/N?”  You nodded at him.  He licked his lips.  He tugged at the elastic around your waist, “Take these off for me, would you?”  You did as he asked and removed your panties, stepping out of them as they fell around your ankles.  He growled with pleasure, “That’s better.”  His fingers found their way back to your warmth.  He began making tight circles on your clit.  You threw your head back calling out to him.  Your legs became shaky and weak.  You could feel your legs about to give out as could he.  He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around him instinctively.  The under belly of his cock rested at your opening.  He grinded himself against your opening, groaning at the sensation.  You ran your fingers up his chest sending goose bumps across every part of his body.  You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, placing your lips against his ear, “Quin, I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”  You breathing was heavy in anticipation.  “I would do anything for you, Y/N,” he groaned into your ear.  

You leaned back against the wall giving him access to you.  He positioned himself at your opening, looking you in the eyes.  He entered you slowly, making sure you could feel every inch of him.  You called out to him, your fingers digging into the back of his neck.  He slammed his hole body into you, picking up speed.  This was the closest you two had ever been.   Your breasts were pressed against his chest, his prickly chest hairs grazing you with each of his movements.  He huffed deep breaths in your ear, his chin resting on the space between your shoulder and your neck.  You both were sweating, your skin practically sticking together.  His hair was falling down in strands in front of his face.  His cock was hitting you in all the right places causing your walls to tighten around him.  He moaned in your ear, “Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good wrapped around my cock like this.”  You could feel yourself growing tighter around him, your orgasm approaching.  “Qu-Quentin, I-I’m about to finish,” you moaned to him.  You could feel him smile into your neck.  He began to kiss your neck, “Good, baby.”  He began pounding into you more aggressive than before.  Your orgasm ripped through you.  You called out to him, your eyes squeezing tight as your walls became tighter then ever before.  He moaned your name as you clenched around him.   He spilled inside of you, not stopping his pace.  He rode the waves of both of your climaxes.  

He held you in place for a moment, stopping his movements.  He kissed your cheek softly, “I’ve never been this close to you.  This... this is so important to me.  I love you.”  He became kind and gentle suddenly.  It was a giant shift compared to he man who had been ravishing you before.  You kissed him gently.  He pulled out of you, resting his forehead against yours.   He cupped your face in his hands, kissing you on the nose.  You ran your fingers through his hair, “That was amazing, Quin.”  He did not want to let you go, he loved being close to you.  He wanted to be this close to you forever.  “It was perfect,” he muttered, “I never want this moment to end.”  He brushed his lips against yours.  

“You should come stay with me tonight,” Quentin proposed.  You smiled, “Maybe I will.”  He slowly helped you to the ground and the two of you began getting your loose articles.  You both began getting dressed again.  

~~~ 

// Thank you for reading!  If you liked what you read, I will happily add you to the tag list :)  Hope you enjoyed! \\

[Tags]

/ @buckyshattergirl / @pinejayy​ / @princessplantasaurus / @gottalovebroody ~ @charmed-asylum​ / @citrussaurus / @hehybrid666 / @givemelifeorgiveme / @dragonqueenfk / @scarletpines / @givemelifeorgiveme /

[kravkalackin]

Not to be weird but reading ur post about not wanting to hyper fixate on a dif fandom but having no ideas for writing rn... is it pertinent that you constantly write, or would you be able to consider taking a break? Sometimes when I feel like that I just need a break or a change of pace

it’s not weird, normally in this kinda situation i would take like, a week break and let myself recharge, but uh, I have some very weird high emotional stakes when it comes to nanowrimo. I’ve been doing it since 2012, and I’ve only not won two years, which were the two years i stopped writing completely. 

nothing, for two years. 

because of that i have this weird mental block where like, I need to win nanowrimo? if i don’t write my anxiety will spike with the ‘here it is, the start of another couple of years without your favorite hobby and most effective coping mechanism’ which is probably not accurate but anxiety doesn’t care about accurate, does it? 

i’ve chilled a little since i made the post, managed to find a shitty ‘just for me’ drabble that i could write a couple hundred words for to at least get something done for today, and i already feel a bit better. that’s the thing, writing makes me feel better. i kinda spiral whenever i get writers block because my mental health is so extremely tied up into it, it’s just always worse if it happens during november 

[ilguna]

☼ hike pt2 (Jasper Whitlock) ☼

summary; You, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett go for a hike. And it’s the best time you’ve had in a while.

warnings; fluff, it’s so good it’ll make your teeth rot.

wc; 1.3k

part one

——

The week passed by faster than you thought it would. It felt like yesterday was Tuesday, when you’d first talked to Jasper. And now today is Friday, and after school you’re going to find yourself knee-deep into ferns and dirt. All because you brought up a little fact about yourself.

Throughout this week, you discovered more about the Cullens than anyone else in this school has—apart from Bella. No one will be able to say that they know certain aspects about them for sure anymore. Because none of them are what they seem. They’re not as easily readable as some of the kids here say.

If anything, they’re much more complicated than you expected. And those complications have to be avoided. For example, you learned pretty quickly that the topic of blood needs to be avoided—not because you guys were just sitting at the lunch table, talking about it as if it were the most interesting in the world—it was because of the fact that Jasper was uncomfortable with it.

That’s fine, you can dodge that, as well as trying to keep yourself from bleeding too. It’s not like you’re really going out of your way to make sure that you don’t bleed. If anything, you’re just being a little more careful to ensure that he’s not uncomfortable. It’s not a hard thing to do.

Rosalie can be a little full of herself at time, and like she doesn’t want you around. But you think it’s because of what Edward has been doing with Bella lately, and she doesn’t like it when they’re private. Because with you and Jasper, you’re sitting at the cafeteria table, all conversations are open. Then there’s also the fact that you’re sure there’s something that you don’t know about them, that Bella does.

It’s not uncommon for Rosalie to be staring—glaring—at Edward and Bella, but she’s having a perfectly normal conversation with you and the others. Of course, the glaring doesn’t last long, not with Emmett there to calm her down.

Which, by the way, Emmett is a complete asshole if you’ve ever met one. But he’s one of those assholes that are doing it for himself, if you understand. He’s kind to everyone else, he’s just a little full of himself, that makes you a little iffy on him. It just took a little more time for you to get to know him before you decided that he was okay.

He was just being a douchebag for himself. Or maybe Rosalie too, you’re not entirely sure. And as far as you’re concerned, it’s not really your business either.

Alice is by far your favorite, simply because of the fact that she’s so easy to get along with. She’s so kind to you all the time, that it’s hard to think that she’s weird, like everyone says she is. If anything, she’s one of those friends that you’d want to have around for the rest of your life. And if you’re being honest, you wouldn’t mind doing that.

And Edward is a wild card, since you haven’t talked to him much. He’s much more secluded than the rest, except for the fact that he’s hanging around Bella. But he won’t even bother to give you a glance.

It’s probably with the privacy thing again.

It’s none of your business, that’s all you have to say.

Anyway, with the week going by so fast, you’ve found yourself standing at the edge of the trail, next to Jasper, Alice and, Emmett. Since Rosalie is busy, and Edward is with Bella. Even though she could’ve been invited to the entire thing.

“So, how many times have you been hiking?” Emmett asks you, you shrug.

“If going into your backyard and continuing to walk into the woods count, then a couple of hundred times. But I’ve never done it with family,” you tell them, deciding that you might as well go first.

Emmett slides in front of you though, grinning, “I know this path better than anyone here.”

“Then lead the way, you big oaf,” you motion, and you can hear Jasper laugh.

Emmett begins to talk about the different plants that he knows, and every now and then, Alice will chime in about one of the plants he got wrong. He’ll stop, turn to give her a certain look, but she’ll just flash him a grin, showing that she really doesn’t care. And then, the hike will resume.

A little more than halfway into the hike, you started to know the little accent that Jasper has. It starts off in some words, and then the entire southern thing was noticeable enough to the point, where you had to stop.

It was a quick break for all of you, sitting down off to the side. They hadn’t broke a sweat the entire way, probably because of how often they go out and go hiking. They’re used to the heat, and having to climb over stuff.

As you all enjoyed a moment of rest, you started to tease Jasper a little bit on the accent thing.

“I didn’t know you were southern, where you from?” you ask, and Jasper laughs.

“Texas.” He tells you, “How did you know?”

“Your accent slipped through,” Alice tells him.

Jasper gives her a look, “And you didn’t tell me?”

Alice gives him a sly smile, “I didn’t see the harm in it.”

“Personally, I think it’s cute,” you tell him, and Jasper gives you somewhat of a surprised look.

“So do I,” Emmett says, ruining the entire moment.

“I’m older than you,” Jasper tells Emmett, “If anything, you’re the cute one.”

Emmett bats his eyes a little bit, and Jasper’s clearly had enough of the conversation, “Let’s get back to hiking.”

“Only if you have the accent,” Emmet tells Jasper.

“I second that,” you say, getting onto your feet and tucking the water bottle back into the backpack that Emmett is carrying for all of you.

“Get on, little lady,” Jasper tells you, and your face heats up slightly. Even though you did this to yourself, you can’t help but to blush. You hadn’t really expected him to listen.

“Shut up before you give her a heart attack,” Alice pushes him lightly.

The rest of the hike was the same as it was in the beginning. There was more teasing throughout the entire thing. Emmett was merciless when it came to flirting with Jasper. But Jasper seemed used to it, and you weren’t very surprised either. Guys just talked to each other like that, nowadays.

Towards the end of the hike, you had to get some help from Jasper every now and then. Just because you found yourself tripping over a lot of roots from trees, that seemed to be sprouting out of nowhere.

Before you and Jasper get in the Jeep to go back home, he tells Emmett and Alice to go on before you guys. Leaving you two just in the tree line to talk. In sight of the car, but still some privacy between you two.

“Thank you, for inviting me to do something like this,” You smile at Jasper, leaning on the tree behind you, “I had a ton of fun. It’s a bit disappointing that Rose didn’t come along.”

“She’ll come next time, no doubt.” Jasper tells you.

“Next time?” you ask, raising your eyebrows.

Jasper laughs, “Yeah, about that—would you… like to go to a movie or something—”

“Sure!” there’s a grin on your face already, “I would love that, actually.”

Jasper nods, a small smile on his face, “Then we need to start planning that then.”

“I have a feeling we’re going to be attached at the hip from now on,” you tell him, he laughs.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

[vanityloves]

🎫 here's a gush pass! feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers!

oh man, thank you jsjsj ive gotten a few of these but ive been too anxious to actually go off ab my f/o but, lets fucking gooooo!

can i talk ab the actual animation of the source material is that allowed?

they gave us this but we ended up with

WHICH LISTEN- I enjoy n love regardless. I just find the contrasts in phases fascinating and funny. I loved his appearance in phases 1 and 2; what a fucking iconic character design. The animation is so endearing and amazing- the thicker lines, the fluidity, the range. Like the first gif that shows the vibrations of the vehicle in his shoulders/shirt? The simplistic art style was nice and even if hes Hard On The Eyes, I'm like 🥴 ok ugly ❤.

Not like the newer mvs are any less quality content - its nice to see the use of thick and thinner lines and there's definitely a different feel to it - more child friendly or easy going? Idk how to explain it. Murdoc as a character is still very, Not Child Friendly, and Im always like :cursed emoji: when someone says that their 14 year old watches their videos like help, his dick is out in at least 3 dif vids (censored ofc but man).

They definitely lost me after the 4th phase though and many people argue that the band/music lost its meaning, which i can honestly agree with (esp when they didnt name officially name 4, 5 and 6. Im p sure ppl refer to 4 as We Are Still Humanz).

I was never an avid/active fan of keeping up with the characters and didnt really think they had any story anyways, i was like "feel good inc is sexy. melancholy hill's a banger" so honestly, finding out that these apes actually have lore was fun.

Murdoc being the given this tragic backstory made my eyes Zoom, and ofc I was like "oh youre funny looking and sad. I want you ♡." In a weird way, I take a lot of comfort that 'we both have shit parents' and 'no one really thought we'd amount to anything'. to be fair, i haven't accomplished anything yet, and even if hes a bunch of pixels who i know doesnt really exist, its kind of motivating bc he never gave up? A literal quote from him being "If there’s a dream in your heart, never let anyone tell you you’ve got no talent. Get out there, embarrass yourself, and prove to the world you’ve got no talent." With how many failures hes faced he never stopped trying to prove himself worthy of attention and fame and love, which is ambitious and kind of intimidating with how much confidnece he has.

Hes a complete bastard of a man and not even close to being a good person. He's definitely complicated but can be boiled down to "just an abusive asshole", which, hey, fair. I hate the way he treats 2D, its so toxic and terrible. Honestly, its inexcusable and he needs to apologize, grow and learn a LOT and god knows he needs therapy.

I think the most tragic thing ab his character is that he basically ended up like his father and to some extent, he acknowledges it. His bad habits and behaviors stem from abuse and neglect which doesnt excuse his actions but, "man hands on misery to man." I feel like theres a haunting part to his whole life - we don't know much about his mother and brother but from assuming things, I know they weren't innocent, clean, or soft spoken, let alone, kind. I think he has a "It runs in the family" mentality and gives into it bc there's no use in running from something so deeply engraved within him.

But as a man of contradiction, hes shown to care, despite "hating everything, including himself". To be short, his father was a failure and a man thats never worked for his own money, so he contradicts that and escapes that part of 'failure running in the family' by forming Gorillaz. I do think theres something way more ab his character in that regard. I think theres a lot that he needs to work on but he's escaped a part of that mindset, and his 'Plastic Beach'. I wonder what theyre gonna do with valley of the pagans thing.

I guess as a band, theyre not gonna show a lot of "behind the scenes" stuff like that. We wont know if he ever gets help, or apologizes, or even feels sorry - its up to us to decide which is a safe game to play on Their Behalf.

People are upset that hes actually cleaned up a bit and is shown to be nicer bc they miss having that disgusting, cruel man which again, I understand. He has always been the antagonist to the entire band. But as someone that likes to see people happier n mellow (or, boring) rather than doing shit and compensating for their depression, its nice to see that type of development (or downgrade, depending on how you see it).

This could be Their (read: jamie and damon) way of being lazy by making him 'mellow out w/ age' or whatever it is. It definitely seems to woobify his character and intentions but well, His Main Goal, Was To Blow Up. And Act Like He Dont Know Nobodaaayyy argargarg and guess what? He's already made it- he's successful, he's rich, he's famous, he's adored. Now what? Maybe this is just his way of taking it easy from here on out - who knows.

Gorillaz definitely took a turn after all the brand deals so it lost its meaning (since one of the phases had a 'fuck capitalism' message) and with that, Murdoc is no longer allowed to be the stank bitch hes was always meant to be, no more obvious sex and drugs, for the new gen 🥴 ironically a lot of songs 'today' are always complained ab being ab sex, drugs, and whatever, but they def needed to step on the breaks when Money/Companies got involved. So here we have The Wigglez 😌💕

ANYWAYS, I LOVE HIM LOTS, HAVING MANY THOUGHTS

[tanjirou-imagines]

Would you do headcanons or an imagine where Tanjirou meets the reader and her parents only for the both of them to find out they were betrothed? Also good luck on your blog! Tanjirou is the best !!!

YES HE IS

Your rq struck such a chord of inspiration with me that I didn’t completely follow it.. 💦 I hope the changes don’t disappoint you!!

Tanjirou and the reader find out they are betrothed

“Are you excited to finally meet him, dear?” your mother asks, excitement in her voice. She checks you over once again, brushing back your hair of any loose strands.

“Yes, mother… I am.” You bite back what you really want to say. You give your mother a smile, hoping it’s convincing enough.

It is.

Your mother goes to talk with your father. They form a tiny huddle together, talking in low voices. You don’t hear them, but it’s not like you need to either. From the moment you stepped foot in here, all they talked about was your future. You look around the spacious room, apprehensive.

Somewhere in the building is your betrothed, and you wonder if he’s doing any better than you are. Although it’s not a high bar to beat.

It’s the day you two finally meet.

While you’d said to your mother you were indeed excited, there’s no truth to your words. Excited? Who would be excited to meet a betrothed they’ve never met? What’s more is that you don’t even know anything about this person, other than one very unhelpful thing—that you’re betrothed to him.

According to your parents, your mother especially, he’s the eldest son of a big family and will be a good husband to you.

“He’ll take care of you,” they’d said.

You’ll believe it when you see it.

Your parents come over, done with their tiny huddle.

“Ready?” asks your father, standing to your right. Your mother’s on your left.

You nod, for if you’d opened your mouth, all that would’ve come out of it was a lie. You’ve told your parents enough of those today.

All three of you walk through the short hallway, stopping when you reach a large closed door. Both your mother and father smile at you reassuringly. You smile back at them. Forcefully.

When the door opens you can barely believe who you see.

It’s… it’s…

“Tanjirou?!!”

“(Name)?!!”

Your betrothed is Tanjirou? Overwhelmed with surprise, you don’t protest when your mother gently nudges you forward. Neither your parents nor Tanjirou’s, who stand with him, are bothered by your reaction or even their son’s. They have smiles of their own.

“Oh, you two know each other?” Tanjirou’s mother sounds pleased. “That makes this a little easier then.”

“You’re…” You look Tanjirou over. You feel like it’s the first time you two have met, even though it isn’t.

You’ve actually known Tanjirou for a little while now, just for a few weeks, after running into him one day outside, traversing the newly fallen snow.

“Y-Yeah.” Tanjirou blushes, seeming to be feeling the same surprise you feel.

Of all people for you to be betrothed to, it happens to be him…

“We know it’s a bit of a surprise, so we’ll give you two a minute or so to talk, okay?” your mother says, putting a hand on your shoulder for your attention.

“But we’ll be right outside.” Your father gives a pointed look at Tanjirou, which Tanjirou responds to with a nervous smile.

You’re surprised that your parents and Tanjirou’s would leave you two alone, but then, that’s not something they would’ve done if they were concerned something would happen. You and Tanjirou aren’t bold like that or bold… to really try anything.

When the door closes again, a silence falls over the space in which you both sit.

You start to laugh lightly, startling both yourself and Tanjirou. “All this time I thought my betrothed would be someone I’d hate, and it turns out to be you?”

You turn to Tanjirou, wearing a relieved smile on your face.

“I hope you mean that as a good thing?” Tanjirou tries not to sound like it, but there’s worry in his voice.

And when you hear it, you calm down from your laughter, not wanting Tanjirou to think wrongly about it.

“Yeah, it is. I just… I always thought this day would be dif—“

“I-I’ll take care of you!”

You blink at Tanjirou’s interruption.

His blush deepens. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. But I wanted you to know that… in case you’re scared of me or anything,” Tanjirou says, his voice soft. “I won’t hurt you.”

“And I’ll take care of you, (Name),” Tanjirou repeats, this time with a strength to his voice that renders you speechless.

In the little time you’ve known him, from that day in the cold to now, Tanjirou has never had a black heart, was never too full of himself, or looked down on others when you saw him.

Your marriage to Tanjirou won’t happen for a few more years, when you’re both adults. You’re too young to marry now, but it’s a future that for the first time you don’t wish isn’t yours. It’s a future that makes you hopeful of a happy marriage.

“He’d make a good husband”—that’s what you’d think if anyone else were in your position. But instead, it’s you who is and you almost can’t believe how lucky you are. To be betrothed to someone as kind as Tanjirou, in a world where there are too many people who aren’t.

It takes you a few seconds to respond, fighting back tears.

“You’re wrong about that,” you say finally, causing Tanjirou to widen his eyes, but when you look at him, it’s with a smile that’s anything but forceful.

“We’ll take care of each other, Tanjirou.”