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drabblesandsnippets · 2 months

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Sunshine - Part 5

Hot Bucky Summer 2024 - Week 9

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky x Plus-size female character (nickname is Sunshine)

Prompt: FREE WEEK | [Optional Prompts: “W” - Wax Play, Watersports, WAM (Wet & Messy), Weapon Play] @buckybarnesevents

Summary: (4k) Series Masterlist Bucky’s confession tests the bond of their relationship.

Warnings: 18+ Only. Slow burn. Grumpy/Sunshine trope. Happy Bucky (is that a warning?) - he's a photographer in this AU. Mention of insecurities, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and body image (she's a bit of a mess, okay?). Mention of weed. Internal dialogue. Use of the word fat (as a descriptor).

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Bucky never had any intention of blurting out his feelings like this. Even as all the fragments of his plans went to the wayside, the last thing he wanted to do was spring this on her. As easy as it’d be to blame it on the weed, it doesn’t matter either way. The truth is out there now and the only thing he can do is keep moving forward, his soft smile never wavering.

A range of emotions play across Sunshine’s face. The initial look of surprise changing to one that gives him immediate hope for their future, their eyes locked in an understanding, a silent conversation threatening to bloom. And then it’s gone in an instant, replaced by hurt and betrayal, the emotion welling up in her eyes.

“That’s not funny.”

Her words are like a punch to his gut and before Bucky can process what’s happening, Sunshine’s climbing off the couch, putting distance between them. She doesn’t believe him.

“Sunshine.” Bucky remains on the couch, his feet flat on the floor, toes digging into the carpet as he keeps a tight grip on his knees, forcing himself to remain calm. As much as it pains him, he can see this for what it is. A way for her to protect herself. “You know me. You know who I am. This isn’t a joke.”

Silence consumes them, the soft dripping of rain and the slight hum of the battery-powered fan the only sound piercing his ears. He feels frozen in place, the dim glow of the candles providing enough light for Bucky to take in her tense shoulders, her head cast up to the ceiling.

It’s not until she lets out a heavy sigh that she finally turns around, the sadness on her face doing nothing to ease the ache inside of him to fix this. Unshed tears breaking his heart and it takes everything in Bucky not to stand up and go to her while he waits for her to say something. Anything.

After Sunshine visibly swallows, her response comes, stuttering as she tries to explain this away. “I wasn’t… I didn’t tell you all that to… I don’t want your pity.”

With a furrowed brow and a slow steadying breath, Bucky shakes his head at her, taking a second to quiet the urge to become defensive. In a gentle voice, he tells her, “That’s not what this is.”

“Then what is it?” Her question is immediate, desperate to understand.

This is going all wrong, but Bucky’s unable to stop himself from giving her an expectant look as he exhales, “Sunshine.” She knows what this is. If she’s too scared to meet him halfway though, the only thing he can do is spell it out. “This is me telling you that I have feelings for you. That I want to date you.”

She cuts in before he can keep going, interrupting him with a shake of her head, “Please don’t do that. You don’t need to… to convince me that I’m dateable. I don’t-.”

He can’t stand it anymore.

The weed no longer enough to keep the frustration from building, he finally rises to his feet, the coffee table separating them as he holds his hands up in surrender, whispering, “Stop.” He doesn’t know if she’s being obstinately obtuse, but he can’t keep going around in circles. “That’s not why I’m telling you. I’m telling you because I want to be with you. I’m telling you because I think you might feel the same way.”

Sunshine’s a deer caught in headlights, staring wide-eyed, open-mouthed, her rapid breaths giving him concern. Either she still doesn’t believe him, or he misread this.

“If I got the signals wrong, please tell me,” he urges, rooted in his spot, his ankles digging into the edge of the couch to steady himself. “I promise I won’t be upset, and I’ll never do anything to make you uncomfortable. I’ll even help you find a new roommate if that’s what you need. I just…” He lets out a soft sigh, emotion threatening to crack his resolve at the thought of causing her any more pain, “I didn’t want you to keep thinking there wasn’t anything between us.”

She stands there for the longest time, her eyes wandering around the room, occasionally settling on him before moving away, unable to hold his gaze. He has no idea what she’s thinking, and he’s at a loss as to what to do, other than stand there, his arms at his sides, refusing to look away, not giving her a chance to doubt what he’s telling her.

The soft clearing of her throat makes his breath catch, trying not to get his hopes up as their eyes connect again. He’ll accept whatever she says, even if it breaks his heart.

She starts and pauses several times, long enough for Bucky to know what’s about to come, giving him time to steel himself. “I… It’s… We…” Emotion threatens to overwhelm her again and he watches as she fights through it, forcing the words out, “We’re friends, Bucky.”

“Okay.” He tells her, quickly nodding his head, taking the opportunity to return to his seat on the couch, his legs threatening to give out on him. This isn’t at all what he expected tonight, but he intends to keep his promise. “We’re friends, Sunshine. That’s more than enough for me.”

With a soft utterance of, “I need a minute” she’s gone, closing herself off in her bedroom, leaving Bucky to start figuring out how the hell he’s going to make this right.

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This isn’t what she wanted.

No matter how much Bucky has consumed her thoughts, and her fantasies, and her dreams, she didn’t confess her trauma and her secrets in hopes that he would suddenly see her in a different light. Sharing her past had only meant to bring them closer together, for her to allow him in, to strengthen their friendship.

There were also selfish reasons - to satiate that urge to lay out her past and have him comfort her. To tell her it wasn’t her fault. To reassure her that she made the right decision cutting off her family.

Bucky’s always been good at that - saying the right thing, especially in a time of need. That’s probably what this is. Tonight, with the storm, and the blackout, and the lit candles - not to mention getting high together - he got confused, wrapped up in the moment, wanting to make her feel better.

That’s all it is.

But what if it’s not?

Everything Bucky said replays in her mind, the conviction in his voice, the urgency, the need for her to understand. Instead of giving her the answers she’s seeking, the doubt grows, convincing her that even if he’s not confused, it’s probably still a spur-of-the-moment thing. Something recent that caused this.

If not tonight, then maybe last night, letting him take her picture? Or, probably last week when she joined him and his friends at the bar. She acted like a completely different person, most likely giving him the wrong impression. Making him believe that she’s someone she’s not. Someone carefree, confident, easygoing.

That must be what happened. Which means Bucky’s not attracted to her. He’s attracted to a version of her that doesn’t even really exist.

Pacing her room, her spinning thoughts make her dizzy, one jumping to the next, making it impossible to figure out what to do next. The questions building right along with her anxiety. The smartest thing to do would be to walk back out there and ask them, find the clarity she needs, but it feels impossible.

She wouldn’t even know where to start.

And would it even matter?

If Bucky doesn’t really have feelings for her, she’d rather not know. And if his feelings are real, nothing good could ever come of it.

They’re too different.

They’re barely compatible as roommates and friends, let alone as anything more.

That’s not true.

She ‘blames’ the lingering effects of the weed for the interjecting of positivity - or maybe it’s Bucky slowly rubbing off on her - and flops back on her bed, the flashlight of her phone shining on the ceiling. She’s too high to immediately dismiss how well they mesh, how much fun they have together.

That still doesn’t mean this can lead anywhere. She carries too much baggage, and he deserves a life that he’s constantly striving for. One filled with never-ending enthusiasm and spontaneous adventures and extended family. She can’t offer him any of that.

You can at least offer him the truth.

“Fuck,” she curses, rubbing her hands over her face, distracting herself from the slight tremble rolling through her body. As much as she wants to throw caution to the wind and fall into this with an open mind, she’s too scared. She’s been through too much to think this can lead anywhere except the end of their friendship.

He’ll eventually come to his senses and she’ll be too heartbroken to get over him.

This is for the best.

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Bucky hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch, his eyes locked on the flickering candles, lost in a sea of thoughts. Every step that led them here and how to salvage their friendship. There are too many variables, too many uncertainties regarding how she’s going to want to handle this. All he knows is that whatever Sunshine wants, he’ll give her.

He waits patiently, several minutes passing that feel like hours, unable to take a deep breath until she finally opens her door, cautiously joining him back in the living room. She looks so nervous, so worried about what’s going to happen that he has to be the one to break the silence, trying to make this easier for her.

“Are you okay?”

The slight nod of her head turns into a shrug, her shoulders lifting at the same time her eyes do, offering him a soft smile. “Sorry for… running away like that.”

Bucky’s quick to shake his head, sitting up a bit straighter in his seat, telling her, “You don’t need to apologize, I know this is a lot.” Watching her try to dismiss the magnitude of his confession convinces him to see this through. “I’m sorry for putting you on the spot. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Sunshine grows quiet again, a moment passing before she takes a few tentative steps into the living room, pausing for a moment before returning to her seat at the opposite end of the couch. He can only take it as a good sign, especially when she assures him, “You don’t need to apologize either… you were just being honest.”

The gnawing panic over fixing this begins to dissipate and he wastes no time in telling her, “If you want to talk about it, I promise to keep being honest.”

The soft exhale of her laugh eases the tension in his own body and he gives her an encouraging grin, grateful to see her starting to relax, even a bit. She still keeps one foot on the floor, her body slightly turned towards him, but it’s more progress than he expected.

“Since you’re being honest, I should be too,” she whispers, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, fingernails picking at a loose thread.

Mentally preparing himself for whatever she’s about to admit, he shifts in his seat, pulling his feet back under him, his focus steady on her.

“You didn’t get the signals wrong.” Her admission comes slowly, but there’s no hesitation, Sunshine taking her time to convey her thoughts, sending Bucky on a rollercoaster of emotions. “I just don’t think this is a good idea.”

Refusing to live a life of regrets, he asks, “But not because you don’t have feelings for me?”

A hint of amusement crosses her face, a brief pointed look thrown his way before she’s avoiding his gaze again, her attention pulled back to her shirt. “It’d ruin our friendship.”

“Nothing could ruin our friendship,” he counters, without hesitation. If she’s not going to deny their connection, neither will he.

With another twitch at the corner of her mouth, she tilts her head and narrows her eyes, still refusing to give him more than a brief second of her stare. Bucky doesn’t mind, as long as she keeps trying to talk to him.

With her gaze diverted, he studies her face, his eyes drawn to her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, allowing himself to envision reaching out to soothe it with his thumb.

Not letting his mind drift, he refocuses, seconds before she finds the courage to confess, “This could. Especially if it’s… Tonight’s been… so much has happened with the blackout, and the trauma bonding, and I don’t… we don’t know what’s going to happen in the light of day.”

Bucky’s own brow furrows in response, memories of their earlier conversation playing in his head, trying to discern what he said that caused her to think this is a hasty decision, an unexpected realization that he hasn’t agonized over every waking moment.

“The same thing that’s been happening,” he says, offering her a slight shrug and a comforting smile. “I know this might be new for you, but it’s been my reality for a while now.”

“How long?” Her question comes out in a long exhale, the slight furrow of her brow signaling more doubt and accusations.

At least it’s a question he was already prepared to answer, the truth spilling out of him without a second thought. “A couple of months.”

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A couple of months.

After learning it wasn’t just because of tonight, she was expecting a couple of days, maybe a week. But a couple of months?!

Her head spins again, calculating everything from when her own feelings started to the moment Bucky started calling her Sunshine and fixing her morning coffee. She’s looking for inconsistencies, reasons to stick to her belief that nothing good can come from this.

She can’t find any though - realizing that his feelings started before hers did, but only after he was already making her lunch and leaving her coffee - and all she can wonder is, “Why?” He already thinks this is new for her, the excuse that it’s because she has feelings for him no longer plausible, and she’s trying to figure out what caused the change.

Bucky’s soft laugh cuts through her racing thoughts and he leans in, shifting a bit closer, almost an entire couch cushion still between them. She wants to break the distance and add more all at the same time, his bright smile the only reason she doesn’t move a muscle.

“How could I not, Sunshine?” he shakes his head, as if he never stood a chance. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I-.” He pauses to let out another laugh, the smile he’s giving her making her stomach flutter and her heart skip a beat. “My favorite part of the day is when I’m with you.”

Words fail her, as they seem to at the most inopportune time, but Bucky’s patient, giving her a moment to process and respond whenever she’s ready. It allows her time to swallow her fear and ask another question that threatens to overwhelm her, “What if that’s all it is? I mean, we’re friends and-.”

“I don’t think about my friends the way I think about you.”

He rarely ever interrupts her, but when he does, it’s usually for her benefit, to quiet her worries. This is no exception and she suddenly can’t breathe again, her chest growing tight as air gets trapped in her lungs.

This is actually happening.

Despite the longing look Bucky’s giving her, she still can’t accept it. The trust she has in him doesn’t outweigh the walls she’s built to protect herself. Years of experience teaching her that if something feels too good to be true, it probably is.

Twisting his assurance that nothing could ruin their friendship, she grasps at one last straw, telling him, “I don’t want to be an experiment.” Bucky’s face morphs into one of confusion and shock, her accusation like a slap to his face, but she can’t stop herself from doubling down, shrugging as she asks, “Have you ever even dated anyone fat before?”

He blinks, letting out a sharp exhale, the twitch in his jaw the first sign that she’s crossed a line. Steve’s words of ‘you’ve never given him a reason to be mad’ echoing in her head, but it’s too late to take this back. Even if it was the wrong way to ask, it’s still a fear she needed to express.

She swallows the lump forming in her throat as he gives her a slow shake of his head and says, “Please don’t do that. I know the world can be unkind, but I’ve never treated you with anything but respect.”

There’s no anger in his tone, only pain and frustration, Bucky doing his best to set a boundary with her. She respects him too much to push back, taking a moment to force air into her lungs, breathing several slow deep breaths. And he lets her, even though she accused him of being like all the other assholes who have hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her throat tight with emotion, resisting the urge to remind him she’s not good at this. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Bucky accepts her apology with a grateful smile, telling her, “I don’t mind if you have doubts or insecurities, okay? I never have.” He lifts a hand to his chest, promising her, “ And I’m happy to help quiet them, but I’d rather you ask me, instead of accusing me, that’s all.”

She swiftly nods her head, rendered speechless again, her voice stuck in her throat. He’s managed to avoid all the landmines, pass all her tests, but the doubt lingers. The fear doesn’t ease. It won’t until she has concrete proof. Something she can cling to.

What if he can’t give you any?

The silent questioning gives her pause and she takes the opportunity to announce that she needs another drink, her bottle nearly empty, excusing herself to the kitchen. She wastes time at the fridge, the single candle on the counter the only light as she takes several gulps of water to soothe her dry throat.

Her current thoughts mirror the ones from earlier, her anxiety and insecurities doing their best to convince her of things she knows aren’t true. This isn’t a joke, or a thoughtless confession, or a fetishized curiosity.

Interrupting the growing silence, Bucky joins her, leaving several feet between them, “What do you need, Sunshine?”

The tender way he asks is almost enough to make her cry, his soft murmur providing her comfort. All he’s ever cared about is her happiness, going out of his way to make her day, even before he ever considered dating her. After all the pain and heartache she’s endured, doesn’t she deserve a chance at happiness?

This is a bad idea.

Her heart’s racing, and she’s not sure if or when she’ll be able to breathe deeply again, but it’s not enough to scare her away anymore. She’ll live the rest of her life with yet another regret if she doesn’t take this chance, deciding to trust his promise that nothing can ruin their friendship.

“What kind of thoughts do you have about me?”

She keeps her back to him, and the words are barely audible, but he doesn’t make her repeat them, his soft footsteps echoing as he moves a bit closer.

“I think about spending more time with you,” he explains softly. “Taking you out on dates, getting to flirt with you, make you blush.”

Her skin grows warmer, a light sweat collecting under her shirt, threatening to overwhelm her. And yet, there’s no wish for the electricity to come back, wanting nothing to interrupt them. Being in the dark, the quiet of night, it makes this just a bit easier.

“Is that all you think about?”

Another soft step, and then a whisper of, “No, but that’s where I want to start.”

The water bottle grows heavy in her hands, flashes of her own fantasies and dreams invading her thoughts, doing nothing to help cool her down. No hesitation takes hold of her, refusing to leave it here, refusing to take the out he’s giving her. She can’t.

She needs more. Proof that he wants all of her. That he desires her.

Forcing herself to relax, she asks, “Where do you want it to go?”

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Bucky should listen to his instinct and tell Sunshine everything - all his hopes and fantasies, even confess that night he listened for her moans of pleasure - but he doesn’t. He treads carefully, barely standing a foot behind her, quick to assure her, “Wherever you want it to.”

The moment he says it, a wave of regret washes over him, watching the tension suddenly return to her shoulders and her hands drop, her bottle swinging at her side. He’s so focused on trying to take this slow, to not push her into anything, that he’s accomplishing the opposite of what he was hoping for.

He’s reinforcing her insecurities instead of easing them.

Throwing caution to the wind, he follows his intuition, choosing 100% honesty.

“I think about kissing you.”

Her shuddering breath has a surge of arousal rushing through him and he lets his eyes drift close, taking a much needed breath to slow his racing heart. All the things he’s imagined doing with her filling his vision, his desire for her reaching new heights.

Trusting Sunshine to tell him to stop if he oversteps, Bucky keeps talking, his voice rough with need.

“I think about touching you.”

The soft, breathless sigh of his name has him reaching out, his fingers dangerously close to her wrist, her inviting warmth sending a bolt of electricity throughout his entire body.

At the last moment he pulls back, refusing to give in to the temptation. He can’t, not without her permission, and he’s not sure she’s ready to give it. She might never be. Not if he can’t show her how much he wants her.

“You’re not just an itch I wanna scratch, Sunshine. You’re not an experiment, and you’re sure as hell not just an occasional fantasy.” Her fingers tighten around her bottle and his eyes follow the bend of her elbow, the slight tension in her arms as she pulls her hands back in front of her.

These aren’t the signs of her wanting to pull away. She’s processing what he’s telling her. Questioning the possibilities. Focusing her energy on not jumping to the worst conclusion.

“You fantasize about me?” Hope. Longing. Desire. Need. It’s all there, evidence of her feelings for him.

Fuck.

He almost says it outloud, but he purses his lips, breathing heavily through his nose, ignoring the sudden twitching of his cock. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he focuses on a response. On words. Assurance. That’s all he should be offering right now.

“All the time. For months.” He can’t let any of her worries resurface, taking into account every argument she’s had tonight. “You’re in every fantasy. Every dream. You’re all I want.”

Her reaction feels like slow-motion, her trembling hand reaching out to try to place her water bottle on the counter. Without overthinking, Bucky does it for her, gently taking the bottle from her to set it down, his own hand steady despite the crackle of energy flowing through him.

He won’t let the doubt build, reading all the cues she’s throwing out to cement his hope for their future, watching as she turns around to face him.

“I want all of you. Your mind and your body. Every single fucking inch of you, if you’ll let me.”

Bucky can’t take it anymore. Her surprise and relief palpable as she meets his gaze, forcing him to make the first move, to finally close the distance between them. Still seeking her permission, he reaches out, hovering near her hand, the slight twitch of her fingers encouraging him to softly ask, “Yes or no, Sunshine?”

If she wants this, he has to hear the words. He can’t move forward without them.

There’s no rush as he watches her swallow and open her mouth, the process repeating on a loop until she’s able to fight through it. To give herself permission to move forward with him, even though there’s still so much fear and uncertainty.

“Yes.”

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unhakzlvr · 2 months

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but i like you! | leehan x female reader , childhood friends to lovers, college au

── warnings: kissing, cursing | wc: 2.07k

words from wam 🗯️ first written !

back to masterlist

“So what’s with you and Leehan?” Minji didn’t even give you a chance to rebut before adding on “You know everyone thinks you two are dating.”

“Hello to you too Minji-” you sighed out before closing your phone to give your full attention to your friend “As I said, numerous times before- nothing is going on between us. We’re friends, I mean I knew the guy since I was 14, god forbid I have childhood friends..”

“So you two are nothing?” Minji asks, still prodding curiously for an answer from you only to be met with a sigh and an annoyed nod for the millionth time

“Soo you wouldn’t mind setting me up with him?” she inquires which immediately makes you turn to face her eyes staring up at you like a desperate little puppy

“If you wanted me to help you get with him you should’ve just started with that” you sigh out in a bit of a half chuckle. Taking a sip of your boba you glance over to see how she was still staring at you with those same pleading eyes, only to lead you to continue with “that’s a yes by the way.” which undoubtedly made her gleam on the spot

“It’s just, you know you two are like always together and half the campus think you guys are a thing so I just was making sure-” rambling on Minji feels the need to defend herself for even asking to have you play as faux cupid for her, but is only met with a hand on her shoulder and a reassuring nod from you before saying “Minji seriously, it’s fine. I mean Donghyun doesn’t really have too much going on in his life so, he kinda needs this.”

Minji wants to refute but instead is cut off by said conversation topic heading right your way

“Yah YN, give me back my hoodie, it's freezing in here!” Leehan shouts out despite being only a few feet away, leading you to strip off his hoodie from your body to throw it at his face before muttering “How can you be cold after practice, I can still see the sweat on your forehead.”

Only garnering an eye roll from Leehan before biting back with “The court is always cold.”

You were about to counter but then you remembered the task at hand, and matches weren’t going to be made themselves. “Hey Minji, do you want to come to lunch with us!” you ask before promptly turning around to be met with a very flustered face.

“Oh you sure I won’t be intruding? It’s totally fine if I am, I really don’t mind-”

“You’re not, trust.” you didn’t really give her nor Leehan time to answer before dragging the two of them to the dining hall making sure you subtly pushed Minji a bit to the side every so often so that her and Leehans hands could ‘coincidentally’ brush past each other. To your dismay, the dining hall seemed to be closer than you assumed, meaning you had moments to spare to find an excuse to dip.

“Oh hey I just realised, I have a class project due like super soon and I promised yeji I would meet up with her to do it!” honestly you weren’t really buying your own lame excuse but that didn’t really matter as you rushed off immediately before calling out “You two have fun!”

“You’re kidding” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, I mean after your years of match making successes how was Kim Minji dropping this bomb on you right now “What do you mean it didn’t go well, I thought you guys started texting?”

“We did! But that doesn’t change the fact that he already likes someone” Minji sighed out before scooping a handful of chips into her mouth. In all honesty she didn’t seem too phased by this whole thing, which was more of a reason for you to be worried. Because Minji, your boy crazy and insanely delusional friend Minji, didn’t bat an eye to her crush rejecting her.

“Okay now why do I sound more upset than you are?” you pry, now being the one to shovel chips into your mouth

“Because,” Minji starts before promptly tying up the bag of chips and tossing it onto your nightstand “I could honestly see it coming from a mile away, I’m surprised you didn’t catch onto it.”

“No way, that dude’s a fucking liar. There is no plausible way Kim Donghyun likes someone and I don’t know about it”

“Well he’s not lying because he told me who it is, and to be honest it’s really obvious” she says with a smirk before wiping off calbee chip dust on her shorts and promptly packing away her things

What? How could he tell Minji and not you? Aren’t you guys supposed to be best friends, what’s so secretive about it that he can tell Minji and not his friend of years?

“Wait what? Who is it Minji? Please, I beg you. I mean the guy’s got like 7 friends. I'd probably guess it eventually so why don’t you just tell me now!” you follow her around the room like a puppy, begging for answers whilst she packs away her things not really giving you a second glance before responding with “Then I guess you’ve gotta keep guessing!”

“Minji please!” you cry out, watching her in hopelessness as she headed towards the door

“I’ve got class.” she replies, before flashing a mischievous grin and opening the door to walk out. And as if on cue, like a trade off, she greets Leehan with a polite smile before patting him on the back before he headed in.

“What was that all about?” he asked before plopping his bags down next to your bed and making himself comfortable on your couch

“You’re a fucking liar.”

“Oh good evening YN, it’s great to see you too! How was my day? Oh my day was great actually considering I absolutely aced my quiz. Donghyun one, physics zero-”

“Why did you lie to Minji” you cut in, now positioning yourself to face him with your arms crossed and eyes still squinting in annoyance

“I have no clue what you’re talking about” Leehan doesn’t even bat an eye before reaching over to your nightstand before grabbing the chips Minji had previously tucked away and wrapped up shut

“Why did you lie and say that you like someone?”

“It’s not a lie, because I do like someone” he replies, almost too nonchalantly which makes the words coming out of his mouth even more shocking

“What? How come I never knew?”

“Because, you don’t need to know? I wanna keep some things private” you almost can’t believe it when the words leave Leehan’s mouth. I mean you two told each other everything, you told him every one of your crushes, you couldn’t say it didn’t sting just a bit when he didn’t feel the same comfortability with you.

“Come on I could totally fix you up with her if you just told me! Do you want to die single or something? I’ve got a clean track record for playing cupid, ask any one of my friends!” you suggest, raising your tone up one octave to try and mask the fact that you were actually pretty upset by this

Still not sparing you a glance, Leehan only reaches into the bag of chips before quipping “Clean? Not so sure about that one…”

“Okay well that’s your fault. If we discount your anomaly then it’s squeaky clean!” you bite back, now snatching the chips from his hand to scoop them into your mouth, which only garners a snarky glare from him.

Sighing back and adjusting himself on the couch he hesitates before finally mumbling out “Well it’s fine because she doesn’t like me anyways” his voice low and hushed, and his gaze still averted from yours

“How do you know that, has she told you?”

“No it’s just,” Leehan pauses to finally glance up at you, but it’s only for a quick second before he drops his head down back to hands which were nervously picking at the loose threads on your couch “it’s just complicated okay?”

Complicated? How on earth could it be complicated? From your years of friendship you knew Leehan was quite the oddball at times but unlikeable? That’s far-fetched. In all honesty he was the furthest thing from it: he had good humor, was passionate in his interests, great company, a gentleman (to everyone but you), and you couldn’t deny that he was undoubtedly good looking.

“What’s so complicated about it?”

“She’s just-” sighing out Leehan leans back to rest his head on the wall before frustratingly running his hands through his hair “she’s her okay. She's loud, bubbly, outgoing- she’s got a personality. And I’m just Kim Donghyun, I don’t really stand a chance”

“Trust me one moment with me and she won’t think that. I can set any girl up with you trust, unless it’s me of course” you joke, waiting for Leehan to chuckle in response

But he doesn’t. And this is where Kim Donghyun screws up. He hesitated for just a minute too long, averted his gaze far too much for your liking, and paused just long enough for you to realise who this whole conversation is about.

Shit.

Coming to this realisation you can’t help but immediately move yourself down to the couch so that you can stare him dead set in the eyes before muttering out “Yah, Kim Donghyun. You’re not serious are you…”

And instead Leehan doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t smile, he doesn’t crack a joke, he doesn’t even look at you. Oh so he’s serious.

“This, this wasn’t how you were supposed to find out” he winces before finally sheepishly looking up at you; only to be met with your pupils slightly dilated, mouth agape, and a bright red hue flushing over your face. This is where Leehan screws up again.

“Listen I know you don’t like me back, it’s fine…can we just forget about this ever happening and just move on?” he rushes to say, hoping that you could magically forget about this whole conversation happening and things could go back to the way they were, but to his surprise…

“Are you going to answer yourself for me or am I allowed to talk?”

“What?” there’s no way he’s hearing this

“Well I don’t not like you.” you start, hoping Leehan could get the message from there to save yourself the embarrassment of having to explain yourself. But instead he just stares at you, a mirror image of how you were gazing at him earlier, except his eyes are much wider in shock, his mouth is absolutely hanging open, and his ears are burning a bright red.

“I just- you know for years it was just always you denying that we were ever a thing. And like I’ll be honest, in highschool I had a huge crush on you so hearing that over and over again I just kinda accepted that it wasn’t gonna happen, regardless of if I wanted it or not you know? And going into college I was still trying to accept that it was never gonna happe-”

“Why’d you set me up with Minji then?” Leehan cuts in to stop your rambling

“I guess, some stupid part of me thought it would be easier for me to get over you if you had someone already…does that make sense?” this time it’s your turn to avert his gaze. But instead of a reply you feel Leehan’s warm hands lacing between yours causing you to jolt up to face him, and the dopey grin on his face seemed to answer that question fully.

“Is it weird if I ask to kiss you right now?”

“I think it would be weirder if you didn’t Donghyu-” but Leehan doesn’t let you finish that sentence before pressing his lips against yours. At first you’re too surprised to even reciprocate, but with his hands snaking around the nape of your neck to pull you in closer you immediately melt. As if your lips are drawn to him with a string you return the kiss, running your fingers through his hair as you get lost in this touch.

Finally pulling away you can’t help but laugh before mumbling out “Guess my track record is pretty clean after all”

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