#waiting for my mans to wake up so we can continue the other episodes

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

If you wish to avoid my Masema stills, they will be tagged with: #wheel of time spoilers, #wot spoilers (and many more, but those are the main ones I suppose)

as my taglist was purely made for Sihtric content, I will not add the list to Masema posts yet. If you wish to be on a Masema taglist (there will most likely be fics eventually because he has me feral already ngl) then let me know so I can create a separate taglist.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 12 The Siren’s trick

Chapter 12 of Moonlight

A/N- Welcome back Margaery Tyrell and Sansa Stark

Warning- Swearing, talks of death, and sexual harassment, ANGST!!, fluff, SPOILERS, ser gwayne (tehe), LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- Only part of 2x03

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

—Cregan this might be a cold continuation from what I was previously writing, but it cannot be helped. I did not want to leave you waiting, and I did not want you to hear rumors about me. And really, you are the only person I can tell what I’m about to say.

This will be my first and last letter. I am returning to King’s Landing, to infiltrate the Greens on Daemon’s behalf. I did not want to, I had told my mother I was not going, but just tonight they sent someone to kill her in her sleep, she got saved, but I cannot stay here and do nothing when I can be on the other side and be the thing she needs to win this war.

I might be killed, or I might not. I do not know, it’s a risk I am willing to take for my Queen. And if I am killed and this is the last time I ever talk to you, thank you. For everything…

I left my mother a note, I apologized for leaving and bestowing her with even more worry. I told her that I’m willing to do anything to help her get her throne back. Yet the one thing I did not tell her was how scared I am to return.

I’m terrified. I’m truly terrified. I knew fear, I felt it when I was in labor, but this fear I feel now is new, grander, and more horrifying, but it’s my duty to leave and help my Queen even if I have to leave behind all that I ever wanted.

I hope we see each other again. Take care of your boy.

Love, yours truly, your Darling.

“I know I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize to Aerion as he begins to whine after being woken up when you take him from his cradle. “<But we’re going to see your father, hm?>” You try to assure him Valyrian so the guards outside don’t hear and go alert your brother or your mother.

And even if you don’t think Aerion would quite understand what you offer him in return for waking him up, he actually smiles faintly in response before he settles against your chest as you cradle him against you.

Luckily the guards don’t question why you’re taking your child out so late at night, they don’t care that you’re dressed in a different gown than the one you just wore earlier. They watch you scurry away in a hurry without as much as a single comment which will probably get them in trouble with your mother when she finds out you're gone, but they don’t know you’re disobeying her and sneaking off Dragonstone to go into enemy territory.

No one knows, you told no one to make it easier on you

and on them, and also so nobody would try to stop you; even if not so deep below the surface you’re hoping someone will catch you rushing down the corridors and stop you. You don’t want to leave, you don’t want to be under Aegon’s rule now that he’s king and no one can truly tell him what to do. Before he would already get away with commenting stupid shit when Aemond wasn’t around you, and your friend and handmaiden Vanessa was spared from his tactics because you would tell him to leave her alone, but now that he has superior control and power?

But then there’s also Aemond. You don’t want to face Aemond. You don’t want to look into his eye and pretend you’re okay with the heartbreak he caused you and your family. You don’t want to sleep next to the man who killed your brother, and no matter the gaping hole in your chest, you don’t want to let him touch you in the most intimate way. Most importantly you don’t want to leave your family again. You want to stay, you want to fight amongst them.

You want someone to catch you mid-escape and stop you.

Someone. Anyone.

You get closer and closer to the cave's mouth where the dragons come and go, where you’ll find Astraea and Vanessa waiting, and still, no one comes out from the darkness of their rooms, and no guards question why you’re strapping Aerion to your chest as you rush down the corridors.

You’re only paces away. Moments from reaching your dragon, and finally you run into a presence.

“Grandmother,” you mouth breathlessly and finish securing your child’s straps.

Your grandmother looks you up and down, realizing your gown is not one used to sleep, and Aerion is too secure around you to just be heading for a stroll. You’re up to something and she’s the only one to notice.

“Granddaughter,” she greets and glances out the window in the distance to double-check that it is in fact still nightfall. “Why are you not abed?”

You swallow thickly and even if you hope she stops you in your attempts, you interject with your argument. “The Queen got attacked by Ser Arryk, who pretended to be his twin.”

Your grandmother nods. “I heard. That’s why I am here. Is her Grace all right?”

You nod lightly. “Shaken, but okay…I have to do this,” you continue blurting in your defense. “I have to do what Daemon told me to do in hopes that it will be my mother's path to her rightful throne.”

Your grandmother nods again but this time it’s a much more gentle nod as her face fills with concern yet also shows slivers of pride.

“I don’t want to return to King’s Landing, I don’t want her to feel like I abandoned her, but if it stops more of the people I love from dying or getting hurt, and if it gets her on that throne then I have to try,” you share without making it a question because under your hesitation you believe what you say.

“Don't stop me,” you lie and internally shout the opposite with tears clouding your eyes, but not falling because you fight them back to try and look confident. “It’s the right thing to do. And I’m the only one who can do it.”

Your grandmother holds your gaze and right away reads you like a book; she sees your fear, she notices how you plead with your eyes to be stopped, but she also sees your desperation to help, she sees your determination, and your hunger to do more. She sees a warrior, a woman she’s proud of, and she can’t say no to that because she knows that beyond all that fear you’re desperate to help.

“They’re snakes,” she speaks sweetly but with confidence so you could feel the same. “And you’re a dragon. Always remember that.”

You draw in a deep breath and nod slowly. She approaches you and grabs your face, making you look her in the eyes and see the pride she feels for you.

“If you ever find yourself in trouble send me a raven or whatever it is you can. Meleys and I will be there as soon we can, okay?”

You nod in comprehension and grab a hold of her hands as if your life depends on it.

“I love you, grandmother. I will see you again,” you muster to say with a tender smile and no tears.

“I love you too,” she redirects as she caresses your cheeks. “Be careful.”

After one last lingering look you pull away before you’re caught by someone who will stop you, and step out into the cave still hoping the same, but feeling more empowered now to leave and play your part.

The feeling of being so close to the stars does have a way of calming the nervousness that has your hands trembling and ties your stomach into knots. The sight of the glimmering sea basked by the moon's light does help you escape your terrorizing fear and feel at peace, like all you’re doing is taking a late night flight, admiring the stars from the heavens, and answering the sea's call. It's easy to find your resolution in the tranquility, now rather than panic, the belief that your path will lead you right back to Jacaerys, your mother, your grandparents, and your cousins makes you feel at ease over your choice. This is also why you’re leaving, after all, to be with them in a better world.

Yet just as your breaths are calm, and your heart eases to its normal resting beat, the moment you see the crowded and lively city, the large castle on that cliff, and notice all the eyesores that are the Scorpions aligned the top of the wall, your stomach twists tighter to the point you feel like vomiting, your heart pounds faster, and your chest tightens which is a new and unwelcoming change.

“DRAGON!” You hear the echoes of men coming from below as they all work hard to point the scorpions at Astraea calmly coming to a stop so they don’t have the audacity to shoot her.

“Vanessa,” you say and peer over your shoulder. “Wave the white flag so they know we’re no trouble.”

You then glance down at your aware child and caress the back of his little head. “<We’re almost to your father, okay?>” You whisper to Aerion before you press a light feathered kiss on his head. “<You should be sleeping though, hm?>”

Aerion has learned to blow raspberries thanks to his uncle's Viserys and Aegon, so he responds with spit all over your chest.

“<Lovely,>” you mutter, but then again it beats getting peed on. Which he has done, a lot, luckily most times Aemond is the victim of his son's incidents.

“Okay,” Vanessa steals your attention as she grabs onto one of your shoulders to wave the white flag you made sure to bring for this exact purpose.

However, in the midst of waving the flag of peace, and while some guards hesitantly drop their threatening aim, a large arrow is shot at Astraea unbeknownst to you or Vanessa. It comes whizzing at you as the flag continues to be waved in the sky, but luckily, thanks to the gods, Astraea notices the arrow coming at her from the corner of her watchful eye and jolts down before taking a sharp turn.

You let out a shocked gasp whilst also becoming alert of all your surroundings, and Vanessa throws herself on your back to keep herself secured.

The arrow aimed at your dragon's neck luckily flies past you and her thanks to your dragon's efforts, yet missing doesn’t spare your dragon's fury that mirrors yours.

“<Stupid idiots,> you grimace and snap your glare at the men who are to blame, finding them confused but also alert. They don’t see your piercing glare, but your dragon mirrors it before she lets out a loud and furious guttural roar.

“<Astraea,” you call out and lean down as much as you can to caress her side. “Calm down. Calm down, girl.>” you coo in High Valyrian in hopes she’ll listen, but she’s too clouded with anger, after all, she knows you didn’t come with intentions of fighting, and she knows that Vanessa and baby Aerion are straddled on her so she begins to circle around as she shakes her head and keeps throwing out angry shrieks.

“<Astraea,” you call again without losing your patience. “calm down. Calm down. We’re okay. You saved us. We’re okay, calm down girl.>”

Astraea finishes her circle and opens her mouth, letting out low chitters as she prepares to blast out fire at the men responsible.

“<Calm,” you coo and pat her. “Calm, my girl. We’re fine. We’re safe. Calm.>”

Astraea slowly closes her mouth and peers over to meet your gaze and assure herself that you and those with you are fine.

“<We’re okay,>” you assure her and pass her the same emotion with your eyes.

Astraea holds your gaze for a moment longer before she looks ahead at the same time you do.

“Are you okay, Vanessa?” You make sure to ask in the common tongue as you let out a deep and relieved breath.

“Yes, Princess,” she assures you. “Aerion?”

You glance down at your son and see him smiling which probably means he found Astraea’s antics amusing.

“He’s fine,” you say with relief of your own and caress the back of his head while noticing that all the guards now drop their aim and depart from the Scorpions, letting you push your handles forward to nudge Astraea down.

Nevertheless, when Astraea is descending to the ground, just past the Iron Gate, all those nervous and uneasy feelings come rushing back after you were rattled with fear and anger over acts of stupid people who don’t know what white flags mean.

When your feet hit the ground though, and you see castle guards already waiting for you by the gates, all those feelings that overwhelm you, increase tenfold. Now your blood pumps so hard that it interferes with your sight.

“I have renounced the…false Queen Rhaenyra,” you hide the strain in your voice as you say words you don’t mean, before also saying words that actually hurt you to say. “I have come to pledge my loyalty to King Aegon.”

The guards look at one another with confusion so you interject. “Where is Ser Criston Cole? Why is he not here to greet me?”

A commander steps forward and raises his head before he fills their silence without giving you the answer you sought. “Give us your weapons, Princess, and come with us.”

You shrug the satchel of arrows and your bow off your shoulders before grabbing your gown's skirt and pulling it up, making the man look away and miss the dagger you had strapped around your thigh. Once he sees the weapon land at his feet he meets your gaze again.

“I request an audience with the King, and my husband,” you demand with your nose in the air as the men pick up your weapons.

“They were alerted of your arrival,” the guard says and steps back to point ahead.

Before you walk past the gates you scoff and sass him. “Was my husband alerted of the incompetence of your men on the wall, Ser? A white flag means what?”

The man swallows thickly and lowers his head as he doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Surrender or a request for parley.”

You feign a dry laugh and nod. “Yes, yet an arrow was shot at my dragon whilst my son and my handmaiden rode with me. I will have all the names of the squadron who shot that arrow.”

The guard nods and steals a glance back at your dragon still behind you, growling as she watches for any wrong moves that might be made.

“Come with us, Princess,” the guard finally guides you forward and you’re hastily helped in a carriage that rushes you inside the castle walls where you’re immediately repulsed by the green and gold banners that are plastered everywhere.

The sight of them actually saves you from your torment, but only for a little because once you’re inside you’re slammed with all your emotions and you can’t help how your eyesight only seems to focus on what’s directly ahead of you. Everything else is swallowed by darkness as all your senses falter, and your heart and blood pound.

A part of you immediately expects to get ambushed once you walk into the throne room, and another part of you fears being greeted by Aemond alone because you know he won’t delay, he would come straight down the moment he was told of your sudden and ominous arrival. You would worry over Aegon, but it’s still dark out, and you can’t imagine he dropped all his temptations because he was bestowed with a great purpose, so you know for certain he won’t be waiting for you upon the throne.

Nonetheless, when you hold Vanessa’s hand in anticipation and approach the welcoming throne room, all you actually see is an empty hall and an empty seat.

Hundreds of candles light the hall, but it doesn’t make the throne room feel less unsettling. You once used to feel unbothered by the great room, after all, this was your home, you knew the meaning this room held, but you could never say you felt awe. It was another room. Now though, you feel uneasy like, when you walk into a stranger's home. Most of the hall has remained unchanged, besides the banners and large statue of your grandfather King Viserys in construction, but besides that, it's remained the same. Yet you can’t help but feel at odds.

You don’t like the ill feeling, you don’t like that besides the guards and Vanessa, the throne room is lonely. It only works to worsen what you already feel. It only makes the Throne Room seem dark.

You’re consumed by darkness and it makes you want to run and return home where it’s warm and surrounded by those you love. You want to leave. You shift your feet to storm away without any thought, but at that precise moment, the throne room doors open once again, welcoming in a shining light that casts on the ground and rolls down to your feet.

You expect a rowdy greeting from the King, but in the silence you capture the shadow of a tall and slender figure get painted on the ground instead. Now you need no help figuring out who the shadow belongs to, you know who it is without having to look back. Just like you recognize the sound of his footsteps as they climb down the steps.

You would know his footsteps blind and deaf, by the mere vibrations that strike the ground. You could recognize him by just his alluring scent, by his breaths as they furl in and out of his body. He doesn’t need to speak for you to know that it’s your husband, it’s Aemond.

He was the light that filled this hall and unwantedly calmed down your urgency to run.

And as if attracted to the light, you look back. Every muscle in your body yells at you to not look, your mind shouts at you to avert your gaze, but your bleeding heart can’t resist, it makes you look back to see him; the man who killed your brother, your husband, your Aemond, surrounded by the very candlelight that attracted you.

He meets your gaze and you meet his, causing your heart to skip a beat, and a breath to escape past your lips, whilst you also capture the disbelief written so plainly all over his face. It's almost like he can’t believe you’re standing across from him, and how can he?

You look like a dream to him with the way the moonlight and all the stars shining through the large windows bask you in their luminous light, making you look like a beautiful deity. A divine angel sent to him from above with the blessing that is your child.

And how can he not expect you to be some otherworldly presence? He sent letters in hopes you could return home so he could explain what happened because he knows how much you love your brothers, but you never came. Not until now, here you are standing under the throne, watching him without missing a step, with betrayal, and heartbreak he can easily read off your face.

He expected anger, but all he sees is pain. Heart aching pain that sets his world off its axis.

He had hurt you before, six years ago, but not like this. Six years ago when he accidentally cut your face he saw disbelief and horror, pain too, but not like this, he never heard your silent ‘why?’ screams that your eyes shout out at this moment. He never saw sorrow droop your eyes like they do now, and his guilt for hurting you was never as tremendous as it is now.

He hurt you, the one who’s loved him like no one has before. The person who’s brought him only happiness, and a blessing in your son. That’s why he wants you to be angry because he did something he can’t take back—and he does expect you to be overcome with anger later, you’re not one to swallow it down for him. Yet right now all he sees is disbelief and agony that gets more and more painful the closer he gets to you, until finally, you rip your eyes away when he’s only a few feet away.

“Look,” you coo at Aerion with a smile and stinging tears brimming in your eyes. “Look who it is, my love.”

Aerion yawns back mindlessly since he can't pick up on your sadness, he just sees your smile that begins to fade as you pick him. When his eyes drift to the tall man getting closer to you though, that exhaustion that threatened to take him to sleep completely disappears. Instead, his face brightens the moment he sees Aemond, the father he’s longed to see since he left home.

Yet before Aemond can take Aerion in his arms, you halt your attempts to hand your child over when you catch the elegant silver armor of the Kingsguard gleaming against the candlelight as they approach from the far left end of the throne room. Only these Kingsguard members aren’t the ones from before, they’re new, younger, and probably stupider considering they’re Aegon’s drinking buddies.

You would want nothing more than to share a judgemental look with Aemond, but now that he’s closer you can’t even have your face turned his way; which is why you get the perfect view of the Usurper, the false King Aegon, trudging in after his dimwitted Kingsguard with his clothes unbuttoned, his hair unsettled, and his eyes red with exhaustion or something else you don't recognize. Either way, he doesn’t look Kingly, not even when he’s caught off guard, but you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt only because it’s the middle of the night—Unless he’s drunk that is…

“Your Grace,” you utter words that once brought you pride to say to your mother, but now bring you disgust to say to him. Even the thought of bending your knee is a struggle to think about, but you know that you won’t get far without showing the respect he wants to see, so you force yourself down to your knee to someone so undeserving.

Luckily he doesn’t sense that disgust, you mask your emotions well behind your sorrowful face set to hopefully gain their sympathy while you try to enchant them with your plea for mercy.

“So it is true,” Aegon breaks his silence while he slowly approaches you behind his Kingsguard, as if cautious that you would try anything with Aerion still in your arms. “You are here.” He scoffs and you catch a hint of amusement, but you’re left with nothing to do in the regard but pretend.

“I come to renounce the false Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” you swallow your pride and leave no pauses, even if you can feel yourself straining as it feels like you’re hurting your mother with such cruel words. “I come to pledge fealty to ward the King, as well as ask for his forgiveness.”

You pause and bow your head so he can feel pride and superior over your current state which is something you never once let him feel with you. Not until now.

“I come to beg for mercy and a second chance,” you go on and don’t stop even if you hear the main doors opening before two pairs of footsteps filter in to join the audience already gathered around you and your handmaiden; as if you were a spectacle to gawk over.

However, in many ways you are, who would’ve thought that Rhaenyra’s own daughter would leave her precious mother's side to join the enemy?

It was expected of you since your husband is part of the green faction, but Rhaenyra is still your mother, and you have had chances to leave her side already but you haven’t until now. Why?

That’s on everyone’s mind but yours, that’s why they watch you carefully and never let Aegon get too close.

“I saw my wrongdoings,” you continue to sing your plea with a soft and sweet voice. “I saw my mistake in trusting Rhaenyra. I cannot stand behind her, I cannot support her after what,” you swallow thickly and look up to meet Aegon’s surprised gaze. “…she did to Helaena and Jaehaerys.”

Aegon’s eyes harden and every form of amusement he had upon seeing you on one knee is lost and replaced by slow-burning anger that is so rare to see on him. Yet it does nothing to actually scare you.

“I'm sorry. Please forgive me, My King.”

Someone falls by your left side where Aemond stands as well, but you don't see who it is because you’re too focused on Aegon parting away from the safety of his Kingsguard to approach you with that same hardened gaze seething with anger.

“To your feet Sweet good-sister,” he rolls out as he also motions you up with his fingers.

You hesitate, but slowly push yourself to your feet, causing Aerion to squirm as sees his father again.

Aegon sees and his lips twitch before he smugly barks an order without letting you out of his sight. “Take the child.”

Your eyes widen and that sorrow you expressed turns to panic. “No!” You cry out and press Aerion against you to protect him from the reaching hands whilst you desperately look over at Aemond with no regard to your previous feelings that were just tormenting you and forbidding you from looking at him.

“He has no fault in this Aegon,” Aemond interjects right away, making you notice Ser Criston is the one by him since he moves in between Aemond when his sword hand twitches.

“Aegon,” you hear the Dowager Queen Alicent interject, giving away the fact that she was the second person who had walked in late.

You had wondered where she was, you’re sure she would’ve been told you were here right away. You suspected she would already be here waiting for you, but she came late.

“What?” Aegon chuckles and raises his hands. “I mean no harm to my nephew. He’s my brother's son. He’s just in the way.” He quips and makes sure to look at you with a new sense of smugness now that he has you rattled.

“No,” you remain defiant and glare at his Kingsguard slowly approaching you while also glancing over at Aemond seething and glaring daggers from the side—“I will not let them touch him. Not them.”

His Kingsguard stop as if they were listening to you and look over at Aegon in confusion as to what to do next. Especially because Aemond still stands there menacingly.

“I will take him,” Alicent volunteers instead of Aemond. “Give him to me,” she tells you and approaches you with her hands out.

You may not like her, but one thing is certain; whatever hatred she has for your mother is never redirected at Aerion, she seems to love him just as much as she loves Helaena’s children. And Aerion does love her too since he is more accustomed to her presence. It’s why after one kiss on your son's head you hand him to Alicent, and motion Vanessa with your eyes to stand by her.

“I never would have expected you of all people to return,” Aegon interjects, making you drift your gaze away from Aerion completely taken by his other grandmother, and refocus your attention on the man before you.

“Yet here you are begging for mercy.” He feigns a smile that falls quickly. “Why should I believe you?” His voice grows cold which contrasts his burning glare.

“Why…” he trails off and smiles tauntingly at the ground before he suddenly lunges at you and grabs you by the throat, but not tight enough for you to actually gasp for air. His grip is just wrapped around your throat.

Not like it matters to Aemond either way because he still reacts in the blink of an eye by trying to lunge at his brother. Albeit he gets stopped right away by Ser Criston; proving to you at that moment why Aemond hadn’t taken Aerion just now, he was more concerned about you and what Aegon had up his sleeve. And he has every right to worry because Aegon is daring now that he’s king, now that he has control and no one to really tell him to stop. He pulls out the Valyrian dagger that your grandfather Viserys would carry, and slowly brings the tip to your throat, making you fear him for the first time. Not because he’s terrifying, but because no one has threatened your life before.

“…shouldn’t I pluck your eyes out and send them to Rhaenyra?” He finishes what he was winding up to say. “Along with your head. Firstborn for firstborn, hm? That would be justice.”

Aegon is careful not to puncture your skin as he drags the tip of the dagger up your face, as if teasing you instead of threatening you.

“She killed my son, why shouldn’t I send her your head?” He sneers as he watches the way he moves the dagger up your cheek. “Unless it was you who sent them.”

The tip of the dagger is pressed against you so you're careful not to shake your head, even if you want to further get your defense across.

“No,” you immediately deny him even if you shouldn’t, you should stay quiet, but you can’t just stand quietly as he wounds you by throwing false accusations of something you would never do. “I would never hurt Helaena,” your voice quivers. “I-I love her. I would never hurt her. I would never hurt anyone’s child, I’m not a monster. I would never do that.”

Tears fall down your cheeks but Aegon wipes them away as he keeps moving the dagger up to bring the tip inches away from your eye, causing Aemond to groan and push back against Ser Criston’s arm.

“Let me talk to her,” Aemond interjects as Ser Criston digs his feet into the ground and fights back the prince's push forward. “I will talk to her Aegon.”

Said man scoffs and shakes his head. “No. Gods no. You’re too enamored by her,” he says and laughs. “She would just bat her eyes and you would let her go. You have always been too sweet on her. No. I will continue talking to her. If she behaves she will not get sent back to her mother. Do you understand?” He directs at you now and shifts his hand holding the dagger, causing the candlelight in the distance to reflect on the smooth metal, and entrapping your attention to the gleam before your focus gets entranced by the fires lit in the metal stands.

It’s just an arm's reach away, you can grab it and tilt it on him. Your hand wouldn’t burn, but he would. He would stop touching you and not be so close. It can work.

But the war wouldn’t end and you would only die or be locked away for certain. You can’t do it, you won’t. Thus you look back at his stupid smug face.

“I will spare your son's life because he’s my nephew, but you,” he presses and brings the knife back down to your throat. “You’re just another bitch—”

You clench your jaw, and Aemond grimaces, making Aegon’s smirk deepen.

“My brother would not do better, but there are plenty of bitches to choose from,” he remarks and starts to rub his thumb on your neck, making you stiffen and start to actually, deeply feel horror.

“Stop,” you plead quietly but loud enough that Aemond can hear. “Stop it.”

Aemond pushes back harder as he hears you, but Ser Criston still manages to hold his ground.

“Why should I not kill you now?” Aegon asks. “You’ve been parading about the Kingdom asking for other Lords' loyalty for your mother. You bent the knee to her. You have no real sense of loyalty.”

“I was wrong,” you repeat yourself. “I was blinded by my love for her, but I am not now. I see clearly now. You are the true King. I see that now. Besides, how could I stay over there with Daemon wanting to kill Aerion for what happened?” You throw out a lie so they’ll be more willing to believe what you're trying to sell. And you actually get Aegon to hum, but as he keeps making you uncomfortable by caressing your neck.

“You do have a dragon,” he gets a point across. “But would you really attack your family?”

“My grandfather,” you blurt in hopes that will get him to stop his threat and stop what he’s currently doing. “My grandfather is going to make Aerion heir of Driftmark, and Lord of the Tides, but those efforts will be for naught if you kill me.”

Aegon glances at his side before slowly pulling the dagger away from your throat.

“If you kill him Aerion would be the next lord of Driftmark, which means that we could give you control of the fleet,” you add, making Aegon stand still for a moment as he takes in what you just said.

“We need that fleet, my King,” Aemond jumps into your defense. “With Aerion being so young we would be in charge until he becomes of age.”

Aegon nods slowly in comprehension but he then tilts his head and clicks his tongue. “But killing Lord Corlys will take time. If it happens at all.”

“I will fight for you,” you roll out as enticingly as you can to try and enchant him with your voice. “Let me fight for you, for my family. I want to come home.”

Aegon sighs deeply and stares deep into your soul without looking for help from anyone. And you look at him and lift your chin slightly to exude confidence you don’t feel at the moment.

Not like Aegon actually notices how shaken and fearful you currently are, or else he would pick on that and really make you feel small. He only sees what you want him to see, it’s why your song works on him and all the others.

“Fine,” he breathes out and finally lets you go, making you fall on your knees out of defeat as to what he was doing, and letting Ser Criston let Aemond go.

“You may return home. You will not join any of my councils obviously, and your dragon will be put in the dragon pit. If you step a hair out of line I will have you killed and sent to your mother.” Aegon clarifies.

Astraea is the way you’ll get your messages across but getting her out will be no problem, and you didn’t expect to be welcomed at the council anyway. The plan was always going to be you using those tunnels your mother used to use. Aemond is the only one you’ll actually disdain.

“You should know,” you mutter to get the last word in, which is bold, to say the least, but you can’t stay quiet after he was touching in that way. “Ser Arryk was killed by Ser Erryk because he was doing his job by protecting the royal family. That’s how I escaped…” you trail off and slowly lift your head to look at Ser Criston with a smugness playing in your eyes.

The Kingsguard briefly meets your gaze before he turns his head away without inputting anything. No one actually says anything in the regard.

Aemond then proceeds to approach you and offer you his hand, but you just glare at him before you turn away and help yourself up to go to Aerion.

“Thank you,” you offer Alicent you’re genuine gratitude before you take back your son.

“Of course,” she says. “I’m glad you’re both back home.”

You offer her a fake faint smile before you turn away and walk back to Aemond to hand him Aerion, who is immediately over the moon by finally being carried by his father. You cannot say the same, you actually make sure to turn away quickly so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. Instead, you address the commander who had greeted you outside to avoid a silence.

“Ser, if you would be so kind as to round up your best men tomorrow at the training yards after breaking fast. My son and I need a sworn protector with this war so rampant. If I depend on the new Kingsguard I’ll find my son sold for a flagon of wine or a pretty whore,” you say without shame and watch the knight snicker and glance over at the men you were so boldly speaking of before he looks back at you and responds with a comprehensive nod, letting you not take a second longer to finally try and leave the damn hall and these people. Yet not before you wipe that smile off the commander's face

“Oh and give the list of names of that squadron to Prince Aemond, he would like to know who the men were that shot at my dragon and our child as we were waving that white flag.” You finish and peer back with a serious look that actually turns out to be menacing.

Once you’re out of the hall, you would have liked to say you could catch your breath and find any sense of satisfaction, but the tension is quick to follow you out.

“Vanessa,” you interject after a while of striding toward the royal apartments. “Just grab a change for tonight and tomorrow morning. We can get anything else we need tomorrow.”

Aemond hears your commands and looks away from Aerion to watch you instead.

“And don’t worry about a cradle, Aerion can sleep on my bed tonight,” you continue to give orders, piquing Aemond’s attention even more, and making him forget that child so fascinated by him.

“What are you doing?” Aemond asks, but you ignore him even if you feel ticked off.

“My old chambers are available, we will both stay there. I won’t put Aerion in danger.”

You know deep down Daemon won’t try and hurt your child unless he means to hurt your mother in the meanwhile, but your hatred for him blinds you and makes you see him as a threat even though there’s no real need for such hostility.

“Yes, Princess—”

“No,” Aemond cuts Vanessa off bluntly. “You will not move the Princess or Aerion’s things anywhere. They will not be moving anywhere. They will stay where we are.”

You clench your jaw but continue to ignore his grating presence, as well as Vanessa’s brewing confusion—“Don’t worry about protection, the night will be short tonight because of how late it already is. We will hopefully have that situated by tomorrow—”

“Are you listening to me?” Aemond blurts and catches you off guard when he grabs your wrist and pulls you to a sudden halt so you can face his pointed glare.

Yet you don’t give him the satisfaction of being submissive, or looking away and walking off. Nor do you actually give him what he wants, at that moment you remember that you have to hold back for the sake of your purpose and your Queen. There’s things you want to remark and throw at him as he ruffles your anger, as you look him in the eye and stand so close, but you need to hold back, it has to be helped even if a cascade of memories follows, and have you challenging his glare for a moment before you rip your eyes away and look at your son in his arms to remind him he’s here witnessing it all.

“Vanessa take Aerion for a stroll so he can fall asleep,” Aemond interjects as he holds your gaze. “It’s past his bedtime. We can spend more time with each other on the morrow.”

Vanessa glances at you for the okay, but you don’t look back at her, you keep your eyes on Aemond even if your heartbeat picks up under his heavy gaze, letting her come to the conclusion herself and take Aerion from Aemond.

The boy does begin to whine after being parted from his father, but you don’t stop her either, knowing that there will be tension you don’t want him to see.

“I am not going to stay in the same room as you,” you make yourself clear and pull your arm away to start storming to your shared quarters.

“Do you think I am going to leave you and Aerion vulnerable and all alone?” Aemond counters, making you scoff.

“Does it really matter what happens to me?” You spat back in regards to who he killed, but he chooses to ignore that.

“Of course, it matters. You know that.”

You shake your head in disbelief and continue on quietly, letting him fill the silence for you. “You will stay where you are. It’s where you belong.”

You continue to stay quiet all the way to your shared chambers, which is unlike you, he wants to hear you argue as if that will help cure the strain made by the murder, but you stay quiet and don’t even fill the air with anything when you’re in your room. You just go and try to grab something to sleep in, but he immediately stops you by grabbing your robe and throwing it aside.

“I said no,” he hisses, but you reach for another, making him grab what you pick up and pull back.

“Let go, Aemond, I am not staying here. I am not going to sleep with you!” You bark back and grab his wrist to yank it away, but he rebuttals by grabbing your hand and overpowering you with ease.

“You are staying, and Aerion is staying here where I can protect him and you,” he makes it clear to you, letting you realize as you try to avoid looking at him that Aerion’s cradle is placed at the end of the bed instead of being in his own quarters.

“I do not need you to protect me,” you counter and let go of the robe to try and reach for another, but he crouches down and grabs your arm right where Daemon had grabbed you, and pulls you up.

“Let me go,” you fight him and ignore the ache in your arms as he presses on your bruises. “Don't touch me. Let me go, you're hurting me.”

As soon as Aemond hears those words his grip eases, letting you rebuttal by pushing him away. “Leave,” you cry out and can’t find the strength to hold back anymore, you forget the role you’re meant to play, your purpose for returning, and let your anger burst out from its confinement, resulting in you shoving him back.

“If you don’t want me to leave then you leave. Go. Get out!” You exclaim.

Aemond lets himself get pushed back again and only makes you grow more aggravated that he refuses matching your anger. “I do not want to see you. I do not want you to touch me. I do not…” you trail off and push him back toward a shelf. “I do not want you here. Get. Out.” You innouncate through gritted teeth, but Aemond doesn’t get the hint, he doesn’t care about the anger behind every shove, or the disdain behind every single word.

“He’s gone because of you. My brother is gone!” You finally express what has been stuck in the back of your throat, what really fuels your anger. You finally share the betrayal that you have harbored and that has played in your eyes since you first saw him in that throne room. “Get out!” You raise your voice and shove him back against a wall, but get no reaction in any way. He lets it happen, he watches your anger, and he lets you express it even if it brings violence.

“Get out!” You cry again and hit his chest, hoping he will move, that he will finally stop infuriating you more and react by at least stopping you, but he doesn’t fight back, like usual.

“Out! Out! Get out, Aemond!” You start to lose your cool and hit him more and more, each time your fists getting backed with more strength, while your chest gets heavy, and your eyes finally start to fill with tears as the sorrow you held back breaks out and starts to accompany your anger.

“Fight me back! Fight back you fucking killer. Fight me back!” You shout shakily. “You killed him. You killed Luke. You took my brother away from me. You…” you come to a stop and can’t yell anymore, your throat stings, and your chest starts to ache to the point it gets hard to breathe really fast. “You…”

Aemond watches you move your hands back to go and hit him again, but this time before you can make contact with his chest, he grabs your wrists and pushes you back, making you hold his gaze as he does so and not let go, even if his gaze his heavy and burns in you, even if he pulls you back to him with ease and causes a warmth to wash over you as he holds you close.

“Let me go,” you try not to mewl, but you can’t help it anymore. You can’t hold that anger over your agony. “Let me,” you groan.

Aemond parts his lips but doesn’t end up saying anything, instead he only attracts your eyes to his lips with this need that comes from deep down. You do manage to drag your eyes up after a second but find his gaze heavy and focused on your parted mouth before he lolls his head to the side, and slowly meets your tear-filled eyes.

You proceed to flicker your eyes down and he leans forward, expecting you to pull away, but you stay put as if magnetized to him. As if a slave to your need dwelling deep inside where you don’t want it to be.

“Aemond,” you whisper and his blue eyes find yours, letting you see how dilated his pupils are, but also how soft his eyes are with…distress you can read with ease.

“Why?” You ask in the intimacy of the moment where it’s just you and him, your husband, your lover, and your best friend. “Why did you do it?”

Aemond's eye falls and his lips slowly form a frown. You want to see what he feels, what he fails to say so you tilt your head down to look into his eye and get your answer, but he turns his head away and mutters. “Why did you come back if you hate me?”

“I…” you don’t finish, but you softly shake your head just enough that he notices the motion and peeks over at you.

You need to say it. You need to say what you’ve felt when you were away. He killed Lucerys, your beloved little brother. He hurt your mother and your brother. He betrayed you in the worst way possible. But those feelings you had thought of only sprung up because you weren’t looking at him. It was easy to think you hated him, but now that you’re looking at him, now that you feel his breath unfurl over your lips, and feel his heartbeat under your palm as you press your hand against his chest, you can’t muster a syllable, or conjure it in your heart. No matter how hard you try.

“I did not come for you,” is all you can muster. “I came for Helaena. Not for you.”

And deep under your conflict and your mission that is true. You did come for her in her worst moments where she needs what her family can never give her.

“Hm,” Aemond hums and welcomes a coldness to your wrists as he finally lets you go.

“You did not answer me,” you bring up your previous question. “Why did you do it? He was sent as a messenger, not a warrior. He was just supposed to deliver a message and get an answer, that's all, so why? Did he do something? Did he say something?”

Aemond swallows thickly and his gaze gets hard before he deadpans. “You and Aerion are staying here. I will lock you in here if I have to. Do not make it hard.”

His gaze lingers on you for a second longer before he slips away even if he knows you are waiting for an answer. Just a simple one if need be, something to give you peace of mind, but he goes to the door looking like he isn’t going to stop until you fall on your knees the moment you can’t hold strong anymore. Everything you felt collapses over you and you break down.

Aemond hears your sobs, it unsettles him, and tugs at his heart, but even if you’re the only one who can ever cause such an effect, he doesn’t go to your side even if at that moment you wouldn’t have pushed him away. He lets out a deep breath and leaves you alone.

He doesn’t return until hours later just moments before the sun could break into the sky, finding Aerion fast asleep in his cradle, and you balled up on your side of the bed. He thinks you're asleep, but you couldn’t find it, so you heard him walk in quietly.

You hear him take his belt off, and pull his boots off to be able to approach the end of the bed without alerting the sleeping babe, going unaware at that moment of you peeling one eye open to watch him caress Aerion’s cheek ever so gently as to not wake him before he smiles faintly, causing your own heart to involuntarily pick up in its speed before it jolts when he steps back.

As to not get caught you immediately shut your eye and listen, catching his footsteps go around the bed and approach you.

At first, you think he’s going somewhere else, but his scent then intoxicates you as he stops beside you, causing your racing heart to ease as if his scent was the only key to calm down. He proceeds to stare and you know that you feel that deep down, you feel his eye on your face before it leaves a burning trail down the upper half of your body.

When it comes to your exposed arms that you can’t hide anymore, he hooks his finger on the blanket and gently pulls it down before he runs the tip of his finger on the bruise marked on your flesh, and keeps it there as if the touch alone will give him the answer as to what happened.

After a moment he groans with what seems to be frustration before he lifts his fingers and suddenly surprises you by caressing your cheek before he brings his face down, letting his long silver hair tickle your shoulder, while his breath unfurls over your cheek.

You try not to hold your breath or move, but he makes it hard as he lets the warmth of his lips mingle over your cheek.

Is he going to kiss you or not?

Yes?

No?!

You wait and wait until he suddenly pulls back and his footsteps recede, letting you open your eye to catch him walking around the bed as he takes his vest off, showing how his back muscles move fluidly with him. And thanks to the light starting to peek in you can see how smooth and sculpted he looks under such a soft light.

You want to see his face, his torso, and those perfect abs, but you close your eyes and remember what he’s done, and once again you’re cast with…sorrow.

——

*LATER*

Stupid ache…

“Vanessa, could you have tea prepared for breakfast? I woke up with all different kinds of aches,” you grumble and slip on your shoes. “My head is aching, and I feel a bit nauseous.”

Vanessa hooks the last jeweled chain on your back to the golden broach on the shoulder part of your deep blue gown, and then slowly peeks out from the side with her eyes filled with curiosity. “Princess I have been meaning to ask. When you were in Winterfell…”

Oh is she trying to get the gossip? With everything that went on after you returned from the North, you never had time to tell her what happened.

“Did you…”

Before she can finish what she was building up to the door opens and Aemond walks in with Aerion, making Vanessa groan because once again she was left to hold in her question.

“I will prepare the tea for you princess, but perhaps you should see the maester?” Vanessa purposely says at the wrong time, causing Aemond to peek over—“You did not eat your dinner yesterday because of your stomach ache.”

You side-eye Vanessa, but she doesn’t care that she just blurted your troubles for Aemond to hear, she slides behind you to fix the jeweled chains on your back.

“What’s wrong?” Aemond interjects in your silence.

You drop your eyes to avoid looking at him in the mirror and with your fingers trace the gold design that swirls with the wave patterns on your blue gown.

“Nothing,” you deadpan.

Aemond stays quiet for a second before you hear his footsteps approach you. “I saw bruises on your arms,” he doesn’t hold back from bringing up. “What happened?”

He will ask Vanessa, and she will tell him, so you just answer him in the most serious voice so he knows that his presence bothers you. “Daemon happened. He wanted me to leave and he was not kind about it.”

There's a second of silence before you hear a deep and frustrated sigh. You dare yourself to look up and catch Aemond’s gaze on your arm before he blinks and tries to meet your gaze, but comes up empty-handed when you look at Aerion instead.

“<Did you have a good time, my little dragon?> You speak to him in High Valyrian and watch him wave his hands excitedly.

“My grandmother says he could start eating solids when he’s 5 months old,” you direct at Vanessa, making her step away and nod with a happy smile.

“Yes, it’s possible, he’s starting to sit up alone, so he’s almost there.”

You grin at your child and caress his chin. “<Hear that? We will get you nice and plump in no time. As of now…” you trail off and take him from Aemond to walk away from the mirror. “How would you like to go with Aunt Helaena and your cousin Jaehaera, hm?>”

Aerion responds by reaching for your dangling earrings, so you lean your head away and shake your head, only getting him more intrigued.

“I’m heading to a council meeting,” Aemond says as you continue avoiding him. “I will talk to the maester to come see you later.”

“I can seek the maester myself,” you quip and scrunch your nose at Aerion to try and make him smile.

Aemond stays still and quiet before he walks away. When he reaches the door you peek over and see him stop again before he turns his head, but not completely. He just stands there for a moment with his gaze in the corner of his eye before he just walks out of the room.

“I do not know how I will do it,” you mumble to Vanessa the moment the door closes and he’s walking away. “I can not…pretend to be okay with him. I know I must try, but…I see…what my mind thinks what happened that day, and I get angry and sad.”

Vanessa walks to you to take Aerion and face you with a pitiful frown. “It will be hard, but you will not get anywhere if you do not try. Just take it step by step.”

You sigh deeply and nod softly. “I will leave now too to listen in to the meeting,” you change the subject. “I should make it back for breakfast with Helaena, I should not take long. That’s not my intention anyway.”

“Be careful,” your handmaiden warns you. “Try and remember your way back. Good luck.”

You giggle and pat her shoulder. “I will be alright. I do wish my cat was here though. He would make it easier to make my way around. If anyone asks for me just tell them I went for a stroll to catch my breath.”

Vanessa nods hesitantly and seems to want to input another warning, but she just bites her tongue and watches you walk out the secret door hidden in your quarters

At first, you admit you feel a bit turned around, all the damn tunnels are built almost identically. Plus there’s only the torch that you light as a form of light until you reach small windows, but those aren’t everywhere. Luckily though, you manage to remember where the council hall is. You do arrive a bit later than you hoped, but you got there all the same.

And it seems Ser Criston just arrived too, going off his greeting.

“Forgive my lateness,” you catch Ser Criston interject as he seems to sit down.

“Important business, no doubt,” you cringe at Aegon’s grating voice.

“You appointed new knights to the Kingsguard, Your Grace?”

Ser Criston is barely asking that? They were with the King last night.

Some commander he is.

“To replace those we lost,” Aegon remarks.

“The last one needlessly, some might say,” a man comments quietly but full of judgment. You can’t say you can place a face or a name to the voice though.

“Ser Arryk was awarded the great duty of ending Rhaenyra’s challenge,” Ser Criston argues pointlessly. “He failed to discharge it.”

At least he recognizes that error.

“He failed because the scheme was rash,” you hear the Dowager Queen interject before getting countered by the Commander of the Kingsguard.

“Perhaps, Your Grace but we cannot all hide in our castles waiting for war to come to us.”

You have to admit that it is true, but that does not excuse the stupid act they sent Ser Arryk to do. The Kingsguard protecting your mother aren’t bad at their jobs like he is.

“As now it surely will,” Alicent quips.

“As, now,” Aemond interrupts the bickering, managing to catch your breath in your throat at the mere sound of his voice. “It already has. House Bracken took it upon themselves to attack the Blackwoods who declared for the pretender. Lord Samwell Blackwood himself is slain.”

“Good,” Aegon says. “First blood in our name.”

Ugh, idiot.

“Both sides took heavy losses, Your Grace,” you recognize Ser Tyland made a point the King failed to see. “I-I’m not entirely certain we can declare this victory—”

“The Blackwoods and the Brackens had feuded for centuries. This is nothing more than an excuse for them to indulge their ancient grudge. It’s no true war.”

A sudden pound against the table shuts the speaking Lord up and makes you press yourself closer to the wall.

“Call it what you will,” Aegon follows by saying, making him the one who pounded whatever it was on the table's surface. “I call it war. And so will Dragonstone. The question is, what are we going to do about it?”

What is there to do? It was a stupid squabble between feuding families. There’s no significant point behind that bloodbath.

“We send a raven to Lord Tully,” you hear the maester come up with a solution amongst the other heads around the table. “These houses are his vassals, are they not? He must control them.”

“Lord Grover Tully is a flaccid, old fool who couldn’t control his cock in a cunny,” the Lord you don’t recognize cuts in with a hint of judgment. “Begging your pardon, Your Grace.”

“Do you have any better suggestions, Lord Jasper?” Aegon asks and once and for all brings a name and face to the voice.

“Your Lord Uncle Ormund marches from Old Town at the head of a great host, Your Grace,” the Lord rebuttals. “And your brother Daeron’s dragon nears fighting age. Call on them to suppress the Riverlands.”

Yes with Caraxes and Daemon going to the Riverlands? Tessarion would get ripped to shreds, he’s no more experienced than your dragon.

“At least they are months away,” Ser Tyland interjects. “My Lord brother Jason is raising a great army at Casterly Rock. In a matter of weeks, he will be able to harass the Blackwoods from the west—”

“Should we not aim to unite these armies?” You’re surprised to hear the maester give his opinion. “And then strike as one?”

He has a point. One big army is better than small ones.

“Ah,” Ser Tyland interrupts as he laughs mockingly. “The great military mind of the Citadel. Do remind me—”

Oh gods can this get any more childish?

Here instead of questioning the ruler they bicker with each other.

“This council must rediscover the discipline it lately had if its to be of any use,” Alicent thankfully shuts them up.

“The Riverlands are the key to the war,” Ser Criston moves the meeting forward over his rattling armor. “Harrenhal is the key to the Riverlands. I will ride out with those I can muster here. Men I know, men I’ve trained.”

Your interest finally piques and you push yourself off the wall to lean your ear close to the gaps on the wall that look in the council room.

“You need time to raise the numbers to challenge the Rivermen,” Alicent makes a smart point, but Ser Criston doesn’t seem to see it that way.

“Speed is my ally. I will turn the Crownland houses who declared for Rhaenyra to our cause. We will add their numbers to our own then turn west. Where I will enlist the Brackens, subdue the Riverlands, and take Harrenhal.”

Well, that’s a mighty goal. Smart yet a bit far-fetched.

“So impatient to ride with so few men,” Alicent says. “So like to be destroyed by the first stronghold you meet. A bold scheme indeed.”

Yes, especially because Daemon is also currently going to take the Riverlands as well.

“Well, the gods favor the bold,” Ser Criston quips a stupid comment that Alicent thankfully strikes down.

“They did not favor Ser Arryk.”

Ser Criston chuckles before he turns to get the favor from a war-thirsty mongrel. “What say you, my King?”

“And you’ll take Aemond and Vhagar?” Aegon asks, making you hold your breath out of anticipation as to what the response will be.

“Vhagar will remain here,” Ser Criston immediately lets you breathe, and doesn’t let the running thoughts that were building up, rush out and make a mess in your mind—“to defend the city.”

“Good. To war then,” Aegon exclaims, making Ser Criston hum in agreement and get the approval he was seeking for from the king.

“I’ll come, too, with Sunfyre,” Aegon continues making your lips twitch.

“Aegon,” Alicent calls out in protest.

“Your Grace.”

“You’ll need a dragon,” Aegon quickly throws out, making Ser Criston argue back.

“My plan is not to draw attention.”

“And-and what will you do if you encounter one or more of Rhaenyra’s dragons?” Aegon asks and you can’t help but answer in your mind that he’ll hopefully die.

“She’ll want to answer for Ser Arryk,” Aegon adds.

“We will be more like to encounter one if we field one of our own,” Ser Criston tries to make it clear to Aegon.

“That is precisely why you must remain, brother,” Aemond says calmly which actually surprises you. You would’ve thought he would volunteer to fight with Vhagar. “It’s a brave thought, but we cannot risk your loss.”

You smile in amusement at his words obviously not laced with genuine care.

“I’m as fearsome as any of them,” Aegon argues, making you stifle your laugh during the short and awkward silence that follows.

“We must also raise the matter on…” Lord Jasper interjects hesitantly after. “The Princess’s arrival. It is ominous, to say the least, and suspicious considering how much Rhaenyra coddles her children. We must press her for what she knows. If it’s true that she has switched loyalties—”

“No,” Aemond counters, making your heart skip a beat. “You will not do such a thing. I will talk to my wife.”

“We have already discussed all the matters with the princess herself,” Alicent interjects. “Her dragon will be put in the dragonpit, and we will keep a watchful eye on her.”

No tongues rise on the matter because no one wants to face Aemond’s wrath because he, unlike Aegon, has proven himself to be fearsome.

Nevertheless, you use this as your cue to leave and return to your quarters before you can be caught, finding it a much easier venture back than when you came. You surely do relieve Vanessa of any stress she harbored as she dramatically over-worried herself that you would get yourself lost.

“We should head out now,” you don’t take a moment to catch your breath or write the first letter to your mother about what you just heard.

“Is everything all right?” Vanessa queries.

You take Aerion from her and nod. “Things are as good as they will be at the moment. I need to send a letter to my mother to let her know what Ser Criston is going to do. Hopefully, Aemond is not clinging today.”

“We can always find a way to part from him,” Vanessa looks at the bright side. “It does not seem like he will be around much with this war needing constant attention.”

You scoff as you walk out of your room. “You would be surprised,” you mutter in return.

The moment you are out of your room and head to Helaena’s new chambers, you feel a sense of nervousness knot your already nauseous stomach, and rush through your veins to the point your hands begin to tremble at the thought of facing Helaena; seeing her grief, and seeing her pair of twins be left to one child.

It was not so long ago when you would both escape to your little Island with your dragons and her children. Now those are tainted memories of what she doesn’t have anymore.

What if she thinks you betrayed her and hates you for it?

You would understand, you would obviously try and explain that it wasn’t you so she knows she’s not alone in her grief, that she has you in the same way she has had you for the past year, but ultimately you would not blame her. It was Daemon, your family, your infamous side who killed her child.

Yet no matter how much your thoughts pester you, or how much you want to turn tail and return to your quarters, you’re more daring when it comes to her. You do hesitate a moment as you stand outside of her door with Aerion in your arms, but after beating down what’s making you hesitate, you knock and let your presence know.

Silence passes for a few minutes making you think you came too late, but then a few seconds later the door is opened by one of her ladies-in-waiting, leaving a clear view of her to you, and you to her.

“Good morning,” you greet softly as you walk in, seeing her put down what she’s sewing before she slowly meets your gaze with puffy eyes, but no tears brimming within. Her grief is clearly painted but it does not seem to bring her down like you thought it would. Still, you don’t feel any less guilty or sorry.

“Good morning,” she greets in return and then finds your son in your arms. “Good morning to you Aerion.”

The baby watches her before his eyes dart to Jaehaera and he becomes instantly infatuated with the little girl, so much so that he throws himself back against you out of glee.

“Someone’s happy to see you,” you direct at Jaehaera approaching you.

“Me?” She points at her chest and then flashes a grin that grows wider when you crouch so Aerion can be at her level.

“Hello Aerion,” she tells the baby and gently grabs his hand, making the baby firmly grab onto her.

“I missed you,” she tells him and shakes his little fist, making him slowly try and bring her hand to his mouth.

“He’s strong,” she comments with a giggle before she pulls her hand away and looks at you. “Can I play with him?”

“He’s a babe,” Helaena points out to her daughter, making her sigh.

“Well,” you try to console her. “He can sit with you and he can happily watch you play while he plays with some of toys of his own. You have to wait until he’s older so he can play with you.”

Jaehaera frowns, but she doesn’t argue. “All right then.”

You flash her a smile and stand to your given height to give Aerion to one of the wetnurses, so they can take the children to a different corner of the room while you talk to Helaena before your breakfast gets here.

“I planned to have breakfast a bit unexpectedly, I hope that’s all right,” you direct at Helaena who is watching her daughter for a moment before her eyes drift back to you.

“There’s no problem,” she assures you, making you nod gently before you grab your hands and fiddle with your fingers as you carefully think of what to say.

“Helaena,” you whisper, making her hum to probe innocently.

Before you can continue you briefly glance at her sitting on a couch before you go and sit next to her, making her turn to face you as you continue to struggle with how to tell her everything you feel in the bottom of your heart.

“I…I’m sorry,” you say what you have already told so many people, yet it’s not something you will get tired of saying because you can’t help or ignore your guilt, nor does this grief end. It keeps coming and coming.

“I’m sorry for what happened to Jaehaerys,” your voice quivers, and tears, the one thing you are tired of, well in your eyes, making them sting. “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

Helaena’s eyes fall on her hands, and her lips fall to a small frown that only tears at your wounded heart even more.

“I know it must be hard, but I cannot be here and not come tell you that I am deeply sorry,” you continue as she stays quiet, and slowly reach for her hand. You know she’s not fond of intimacy, but you don’t overstep, you just drop your hand on hers, and she doesn’t move it away at that moment. Her hands stiffen but she lets you hold her hand.

“You and your children did not deserve that, he did not deserve that. I’m sorry,” you add softly, making her trail her eyes up to meet yours.

“But it is not your fault,” she says and surprises you. “You did not do it. Why are you sorry?”

You part your lips but can’t muster a thing, instead, you drop your head and lick the salty tears that roll down your cheeks and fall on your lips.

“Because it was not fair,” you bring up what you feel. “Because…it was a cruel thing to do, and agonizing to go through. Because…I know who sent those killers to you.”

A silence follows where Helaena slips her hand over yours and carefully wraps your hand with hers, making you blink repeatedly in disbelief before you meet her gaze with that same emotion in your eyes.

“It was still not your fault,” she presses ever so sweetly. “You did not send those killers, nor did you commit the act. I do not blame you, nor do I hate you.”

Your breath catches and a smile slowly tugs on your lips as your tense body eases with the relief that washes over you.

“I’m here for you, you know that? If you need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you. Always. I love you Helaena.”

She nods softly and offers you the sweetest smile that reminds you of the sweetest spring days. “I know,” she whispers.

You don’t expect her to say it in return, but you know her true feelings with the hand still wrapped around you.

“Why are you here though?” She suddenly blurts.

“I-I,” you pause out of confusion, but give her a clear answer. “I’m here for you.”

Helaena shakes her head and pulls her hand away. “You are not listening, why are you here? You should not have come.”

Your tears dry, and your confusion leaves no trace of the joy you were just beginning to feel

“I see it,” she presses and leans towards you. “A crown on a black veil.” She nods as if that helped you in some way. It only leaves you lost and a bit concerned.

“Okay…” you just give her the satisfaction of an answer to not leave things awkward. “Breakfast should be—”

And just as you’re going to finish, the doors open and servants with breakfast come in.

“I think Aemond missed you,” Helaena interjects while the breakfast is being placed. “And Aerion. He had his cradle moved after what happened with Jaehaerys.”

“Yes,” you mumble. “So I saw.”

Helaena gets off her seat and you mirror her to follow her to the round table, finding that breakfast looks unappetizing. The food looks good, but the nauseousness you feel is still lingering within you.

“Helaena I was thinking perhaps you could accompany me to select my new sworn protector,” you fill the silence as you take a seat. “I think getting out of your room and taking some air would be nice. Besides, I think a nice stroll in the gardens afterward would be nice, the weather is agreeable.”

Helaena sits beside you rather than in any other empty seat and looks at you before she queries. “What of the new Kingsguard that Aegon appointed? Why don’t you pick one of them?”

You meet her gaze and giggle before you look at the tea you requested getting placed in front of you. “No,” you put it simply. “One, that would be pretty foolish and Aemond would never allow that.”

She hums and the corner of her lips twitches. “I’m sure if Aemond could, he would be stuck to you like a shadow.”

You laugh softly and nod. “He tries.”

“I hope you and him reconcile,” she says. “It’s nice seeing him laugh with you.”

You swallow thickly and answer honestly. “I think it will be hard forgiving him for what he did.”

She hums and says one last thing. “Just do not wait too long, okay?”

Your heart skips a beat and your eyebrows furrow but you offer her a soft smile and nod. “Okay.”

She holds your gaze a second longer before she reaches over to serve herself some food. You try and do the same, but your stomach stops you from really desiring anything.

Helaena notices your reluctance and interjects as she leans toward you. “You should eat, it’s not good for the babes if you do not.”

Your eyes widen and slowly meet her gaze expressing only utter disbelief. “What?” You deadpan.

All Helaena does is offer you a simple smile before she starts eating, leaving you overcome with confusion, even if deep down what she said starts to make sense; Your over-exhaustion, your stomachaches, and headaches.

And it would track, Aemond and you did have sex before you left for Dragonstone, but…Cregan and you…

No…that’s a possibility you do not want to think about, and he’s always careful, and you…did not take Moontea this time, but it can’t be true, him being related is especially not true.

IF what Helaena said was true the babes are Aemond’s. And that’s even if Helaena is telling the truth, sometimes she has the tendency to say things that don’t make sense. Just like this, it's all just a jumble of words.

You will choose to believe that until you talk to someone who can actually prove it. Until then you pay all your focus on your breakfast with Helaena and keep yourself even more busy with choosing your sworn protector already discreetly picked by Daemon of all people.

You did not think he would care that much as to pay someone to keep you and your son safe, but here you are now standing on a balcony over a courtyard, hearing metal sing over the chaos playing all about the castle as men prepare to go to war with Ser Criston.

Usually, men just line up, and someone shares their achievements and a summary of how they became so high ranked and so on, but that all sounded so boring and you have lacked fun so you chose for a not-so-commonly picked choice and had them just demonstrate their skill.

“Perhaps there’s no need for such a show of violence,” Helaena gives her opinion as she stays back in her seat. “Go with the man Aemond wants you to pick.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “No,” you deadpan and cross your arms over the railing to lean your head over and watch as a man with short black curly hair suddenly pulls his cloak off to hurl it at his opponent and blind him.

You grin at his quick thinking and watch this tall, well-built man kick his opponent back while he’s blinded and trying to take the cloak off his face, resulting in the cloak to slip off but a few seconds too late because the intriguing man pulls out a dagger and thrust forward.

Albeit the opponent blocks his attempts with his arm, making you unfold your arms to press your hands on the cold stone and push yourself forward out of excitement.

The man proceeds to use his arm to dismantle his opponent's block by shoving his arm away, before he quickly grabs his arm and spins around him to be able to wrap his other arm around his opponent's neck, and point the tip of his dagger at an artery; with that finishing the last match, and making you beam and clap.

“Well fought!” You exclaim, causing the man to let go of his opponent so they can both face you and bow their heads. “What’s your name Ser?”

The man you called on lifts his head and you meet the most mesmerizing blue eyes that remind you of the bluest sea water.

“Ser Jason Waters, Princess,” he announces, making your grin twitch as you realize that this tall man below is the man Daemon hired for you.

“A bastard from King’s Landing,” the commander beside you whispers in your ear as if that affects his quick thinking or his battle experience—“Go with Ser Aldous from the Crownlands. That’s the man your Lord husband thought capable. He has battle experience, and he is well-honed.”

You scoff and give him the same attitude you just gave Helaena. “I do not care what my Lord Husband wants, and bastard or not that does not affect Ser Jason’s skill. Tell me his triumphs.”

The man hesitates but responds with what you asked for. “He fought at the Stepstones when he was ten-and-six with Prince Daemon until the war ended.”

You look over to flash the man a smile as you hit your palms on the stone. “See, he has battle experience too.” You look back at the man and focus your eyes on the scar that travels from the right corner of his forehead and all across his face to end on the left corner of his jaw.

“Tell me, Ser Jason, how did you get your scar?” You probe with genuine curiosity. “My grandfather Lord Corlys says a scar is always a story. What is your story?”

Ser Jason huffs lightly and glances down with a small smile that carves adorable and deep dimples on his cheeks.

“I,” he clears his throat and bats his lashes before he faces you. “I fought a Dothraki Screamer after I departed from the Stepstones.”

Your eyes widen and you quickly poke him for more with a bit too much excitement. “A Dothraki Screamer? Really?!”

He nods. “He almost took my face but I ended up winning,” he boasts with a shy smile. “Not that I am saying it was easy. It was…it was difficult.”

Your smile widens at his stumble of words before you look at the Commander. “Has Ser Aldous fought a Dothraki screamer and won?”

The commander sighs and argues. “But Prince Aemond—”

“I will make sure Prince Aemond does not take his anger out on you. I made this choice, I am capable of choosing a worthy protector for me and my child,” you interject to assure him, but then Helaena breaks her silence by calling your name before giving her opinion.

“Maybe you should listen to Aemond. I do not think Ser Jason is a wise choice.”

Her eyes snap to the man she can see through the gaps of the railing, and draws in a deep short breath before meeting your gaze and breathing out.

“You worry,” you tell her. “Just like, my Aemond. It’s okay.”

Helaena holds your gaze for a second longer with a very hard and pressuring look before she drops her head and nods stiffly.

“Let me just close this matter up and we can go for our stroll,” you assure her and return your attention to Ser Jason. “I will see you on the Morrow for your first day, Ser Jason. Thank you. And thank you to the rest of you, do not worry I am sure your skill will still be needed, I will make sure to recommend you to good positions.”

The other knights bow their heads to express their gratitude, but you focus on the man in the middle and understand now why Daemon chose him of all people to protect you and Aerion while you’re here in the jaws of the enemy. He’s well-traveled and has been holding a sword since he was a boy.

You have to give Daemon his flowers for this one thing.

“Thank you, Princess,” Ser Jason speaks up with his head raised and a crooked smile on his lips. “You bring me a great honor. I will protect you and yours with my life. I will not let you down. I will guard you even from the shadows that lurk in the night, and the cowards who call themselves men.”

You offer him a faint appreciative smile and as his crooked smile falls to a soft and gentle one, his blue eyes seem to deepen more, bringing this innocent look on his face that slowly pulls your smile down as you’re reminded of your sweet brother, Lucerys.

He would have been Lord if he had lived to be older. He could have had many different dangerous experiences like this man, he could have grown as sweet looking as this man, and held great achievements like this man, but he can’t. He was taken before he could really live a life of his own. Now you’re left just looking at this man below and getting reminded of what can’t flourish because Aemond made sure to kill it.

“Thank you, Ser Jason,” you offer the man softer than before and give him one last smile before you turn to try and leave. However, before you can you catch this certain familiar gleam in his eyes that steals your attention for a lingering second before you rip your eyes away and finally give Helaena all your attention.

“Now my Sweet aunt,” you probe as you hold your hands before you. “Why do you doubt Ser Jason?”

Helaena glances at you with a bit of surprise because you’re asking her for her thoughts that others would have disregarded.

“I just,” she says and turns her head away as she holds her hands. “I have a bad feeling about him.”

You take in what she says and quickly try to reassure her. “It’s normal to doubt people now more than ever, we are at war and tragedy has befallen everyone, but we cannot live our lives paranoid. But I will tell you what, I will be cautious, okay?”

Helaena nods softly and you add a remark. “Plus, the knight Aemond picked was old don’t you think?”

Helaena giggles and nods. “He was.”

“I’m sure it was done on purpose,” you comment on your husband's jealousy.

“You think?” Helaena asks, making you nod with a teasing smile playing on your lips.

“I know so. Now,” you change the subject to something she likes. “Tell me what have you caught as of late?”

Helaena’s shoulders release from their tense hold and her eyes glimmer for the first time. “I caught fireflies the other day by the pond, but I think they’re too beautiful to keep, so I let them go.”

You hum and feed her interests. “They are quite fascinating, they’re like little stars.”

She hums and carefully holds some of your fingers, making your heart happily skip a beat. “Did you know that they flash their lights for different stuff? Like when they’re trying to attract a mate, or deceiving others,” she muses. “And many people mistake them for flies or bugs, but they are beetles in truth.”

You hum. “I did not know that,” you share.

“Well, now you do.”

You giggle and nod. “Yes, I do. Now I think if I could be any insect I think I would be an orchid mantis. They are very beautiful.”

Helaena laughs softly and lolls her head towards you. “You’re funny.” She says, making you smirk.

You end up taking the long way to the gardens and find yourselves walking through the training yard that is flooded with men all preparing to go off to war, but halting the moment they all spot Queen Helaena walking by. All except for one man in bulky silver and green armor; he walks away from his horse with a half-smug smile on his face. And it's only when you get closer that you start to predict who he might be just going off the flaming tower on his chest plate.

“My Queen,” he finally pays his respects and bows his head. “And…” he leaves room for you to introduce yourself, and you do, making his eyes brighten and the smile turn more smug.

“Ah, the Realms Golden Girl, how nice it is to meet you at long last,” he rolls out of his tongue with a sense of cheekiness, but not filled with deceit, more so like he’s trying to seduce you.

But, as charming as he does speak, he can’t reel you in. You smile, but you also glance at Helaena in confusion, yet she doesn’t seem to understand you asking for help, so the man before you bows his head at you before he finally introduces himself; “I am Ser Gwayne Hightower.”

Ah, Alicent’s brother.

“It is an honor to meet you. I have heard a great deal about you,” you just say out of respect but you could care less even if he is a bit handsome for a Hightower.

“Hm,” he hums with a growing smirk. “In all my comings and goings never have I met such an enchanting beauty,” he flatters you and you can’t help but show off a shy smile—“my nephew is a lucky man.”

You scoff softly and he leans closer. “I am going off to battle with the Lord's Hand…”

You scoff at the title given to such an unqualified man and he seems to catch your drift and matches your mocking smile before he continues.

“I would fight more fiercely if you granted me your hand,” he speaks smoothly, but you still don’t fall prey to his attempts. Albeit you do give him your hand and watch him gently bring your hand up to his lips to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Once he lets go of you his smug smirk deepens.

“I wish you well in your travels, Ser, I hope to see you again,” you offer him even if deep down you do not mean it at all and you pray and hope for his and all their downfalls. “Now if you will excuse me, the Queen and I have to go.”

“Of course.” He bows his head at you before drifting his attention to Helaena one more time. “My Queen.”

She offers him a faint smile before she pulls you away with her to finally get away from the clustered place and walk through quieter spaces until you both find joy and peace in the castle gardens.

Winter is coming, like the Stark’s like to say, but the garden does not lack life. It’s a lively contrast to the chaos ascending everywhere, and a peaceful escape where you can admire the vibrant autumn flowers that show their beauty off like stars at night. The trees are bare with the leaves rusting and breaking away, but the vibrant leaf colors that litter the ground steal the attention from its emptiness. The only thing that does make the garden feel lackluster is the lack of roses. They don’t bloom like they do Winterfell.

“Look,” Helaena calls for your attention and makes you tear your gaze away from the calm sea in the distance. “An orchid.” She shows off the beautiful light pink flower before she drops it on your lap. “Now you’re one step closer to becoming an orchid mantis.”

You burst out laughing and she giggles with you.

“You know,” you add after you catch your breath. “I have this gown I have been meaning to wear. It has blue winter roses embroidered on the corset and on the borderlines of the skirt. It is very beautiful. We should have a gown designed for you of your favorite flower so we could show off together.”

Helaena hums and nods. “I would like that.”

“Good.” You say with a smile and stand back up to continue down the gardens, coming to find Lord Larys Strong wandering around the pond.

“Your Grace. Princess,” he greets and bows his head.

You offer him a faint smile in return and steal a glance around before addressing him. “Enjoying the kind weather?”

He hums. “Making the best of it before winter comes.”

“All we will get is light snows and bitter winds this far South,” you bring up and walk closer to him with Helaena falling behind. “We will live.”

“I suppose winters here don’t compare to those in the North,” he says, and you shake your head lightly before peering back to watch Helaena slowly make her way to you.

“I would just like to say that it is odd seeing you and Prince Aemond be so estranged,” he says and slowly drifts back to him. “Not long ago you were almost inseparable.”

You avert your gaze and purse your lips together before you mutter your comment. “Well, sadly there are matters that create a strain.”

“I am sorry to hear about your brother's passing, it was such a tragic affair.”

Your eyes snap up and rather than expressing gratitude, you hardened your gaze to pass him a warning glare so he can tread carefully.

“Marriage is a complicated thing, more so with a war that tears your gaze between two sides, and secrets that lurk beneath the surface,” he doesn’t listen, he’s bold, so you lift your chin and make your glare more menacing.

Lord Larys catches the threat behind your glare and checks that Helaena is distracted by what’s in the pond before he quietly brings a point to this babble.

“I just hope Prince Aemond’s frequent brothel visits are not the secret truly keeping you apart.”

Your heart drops and every attempt to be seen as menacing falls flat. Instead, anguish begins to surface, it takes your attention and leaves you lost in thought for the rest of the day.

And you know you have no reason to be upset after you lay with Cregan. You shouldn’t care because you hate Aemond after he killed Lucerys, but knowing he went to see other women, imagining him kissing another woman, and picturing him looking at them the same way he looks at you; like there’s only you and no one else, like you’re all that’s beautiful in the world, crushes your heart.

You don’t want him touching anyone else with the same gentle touch he blesses you with. You don’t want someone else tasting the sweetness of his lips, or seeing how completely vulnerable and loving he can be. You don’t like that someone else is seeing parts of him that are only meant for you. You don’t want him to admire someone the way he admires you.

You want to be the only one he finds beautiful, you want him to only love you, just like it always has been. You don’t want to share him.

Yet you also can’t be so selfish. You know what you did, and the bad thing is you don’t regret it. You shouldn’t expect loyalty when you broke it first. You can’t be seething in jealousy when you were the one who kissed another man and became intimate with him. That’s selfish too, and you can’t be selfish.

But oh!

You can’t stop tormenting yourself with images of Aemond kissing other women, and other women kissing him. You see it in the books you try to read to keep yourself distracted and hear the sounds of his pleasure in the crackle of the fires that gives light to your chambers and also keeps it warm. You’re tormented by the ugliness that is jealousy, and also getting torn apart between not deserving to be jealous. And him coming into the room does not make it easier because now you’re also plagued by memories of what he did.

You’ll probably find yourself broken down soon enough.

“Where’s Aerion?” Aemond asks first as he takes some weight off him by putting his sword aside.

“With your mother,” you deadpan and flip mindlessly through a different book. “She wanted to spend time with him and Jaehaera.”

Aemond hums and he then approaches you to lean over the couch and try and give you a peck on the cheek, but you lean away, leaving his lips to meet a cold emptiness.

He proceeds to linger the way you left him before he purses his lips and steps away with a deep sigh.

“I see you are still playing at that game,” he says boldly and pulls your attention away from the book to lift your head and focus on nothing in particular as you run over what just came out of his mouth.

When you know you heard him right a crease carves in between your eyebrows as they pinch together, your eyes narrow and almost seem to emit flames with the rage that makes you forget the purpose you really came. That’s all meaningless now as you shut the book and throw it on the couch before you get up and spin around to snap back. “Game? Is this some jest to you, Aemond?”

Said man slips his eyepatch off and throws it on the table, choosing not to feed the dragon he already stirred awake.

“Tell me? Was killing my brother some game to you?” You don’t hold back and march around the couch to get closer, but he keeps getting away as he works to take his leather vest off.

“Is my grief, my guilt, some game to you? You know I-I couldn’t even face my mother, or-or Rhaena, because of what you did? I blamed myself!” You throw at his back which moves further and further away. “Is that funny? Do you think I can just forget and pretend everything is alright? Like-like you did not break my heart in the worst way possible?!”

Aemond finally stops walking away, but he doesn’t turn around or speak, and that only triggers your anger to get more heated.

“Aemond?” You call out so you can get something, a hum if that’s what he wants to give, whatever, you just want a response to let you know he’s paying attention.

“Tell me. Is all I am, is all I feel is some game to you?”

His head slowly lowers, and angry tears form in your eyes while you start to believe what you’re accusing him of in his lingering silence.

“Tell me…because if I am…” you trail off and don’t finish because you fear accepting that it will be true. “Aemond,” you call out again in a broken voice and with a burning glare that falters while you storm over to him and stop halfway. “Aemond,” you whisper before your nose furls and you cry out desperately and with frustration laced within. “Aemond!”

Said man slowly turns on his heels with his eye glossy and downcast, his lips out in a pout, and his eyebrows formed in a shaky furrow.

“No,” is what he says under his breath but doesn’t dare look you in the eyes, he’s like a wounded boy filled with fear. Not of what lurks in the shadows, or of some great fear; he’s afraid of what will come out of the scolding, afraid that he will be received with disappointment and a cold shoulder.

“No what?” You press to know and step closer. “No I’m not some joke to you, or no you did not mean to betray me in that way?”

“Bloodshed was inevitable, if not me, it would’ve been someone else,” he brings out his first excuse.

“Okay,” you whisper and nod in understanding while you turn away and hold your hands as you take in what he said. “Okay.”

“You are not a joke,” he responds to your other question as he finally breaks away from the spot he was stuck to. “My intention was not to hurt you. You know that. You of all people in this fucking world is all that matters to me. Ever since I was young and got pushed around for being different. You,” he makes that word clear with a sense of a deep meaning, no deceit, devotion and passion. “I did not want to hurt you. I did not mean what I did…” he trails off in a whisper that wouldn’t have been audible if the room wasn’t cast in silence.

Yet does that really mean anything now that he did it? He can’t take back what he did, he can’t bring back Lucerys because he did not mean it. It still hurts and he can’t take that pain away with those words.

“All those times,” your voice quivers as your heart speaks for you. “…I spent missing you, wanting to come back home to you, and for what?” You say to the tension in the room and hear his lips part before his steps hit the ground louder and louder as he makes his way before you.

When you’re face to face, heart facing the others heart, his long and slender fingers reach for your face, but because of the violence done to you in the past days you pull your head back, making his hands freeze and tense for a second before he tries again and this time makes contact with your warm cheeks, providing more warmth that you can’t help but melt into.

You do hesitate looking into his eye because you know what you will see will only make your heart sing, but he demands your attention and tilts your head up to meet his gaze. At that moment letting you see the sweet man you have always loved, a soft and enamored man who shows his tender affection in his eye that gleams like the full moon itself.

“I sent you letters,” he brings up softly and glances at your lips as his breath catches.

You part your lips and feel a desire slowly take hold of you, but you are not done, he can’t just shut you up with sweet words, so you quickly rebuttal with an icy quip. “Full of empty words.”

You resisted what you otherwise would have fallen trap to and reel away from Aemond to face him with a serious look that falters between anguish.

“But what could I expect? You only wrote for 1 year when I was in Winterfell…”

“That again,” he mutters and drops his hands on his thighs as he shakes his head.

You scoff and nod angrily. “Yes, this again! Because I waited, you were my best friend! And I was alone! All I wanted was reassurance from you, and you left me alone…and now all I wanted was you to tell me what you feel, I would have loved the truth, but,” you pause and feign a laugh. “You led me on like you did nothing. Like you were doing nothing when in reality you killed my brother and lay with whores,” you spat out. You did not mean to. You wanted to hold it just for the sake of not sounding bitchy and hypocritical, but it hurts not knowing why HE did what he did.

Was he looking for just one little excuse to be with someone else? Have you not been enough? Were you not giving him enough attention? Enough love? Are you not beautiful enough for him?

It’s true you talked to Cregan in your year here, but only as friends before and after you married Aemond. You missed him but only when you felt alone here, but after Aemond made you feel loved, Cregan was a sweet memory of a first love. And now? You were hurt, you wanted to feel loved after getting your heart torn from your chest. You do not regret because that will tear you apart, and you do not want to deny what you did. You did it; you take responsibility for it, you won’t regret it especially because you felt happy in a dark tormenting storm…

But Aemond?

“Who told you?” He demands to know and at that moment proves Lord Larys’ accusation right.

“It does not matter who told me,” you sneer through gritted teeth. “You did it…You do it.”

Aemond drops his eye and his lips curl to a snarl before he answers firmly. “Not since you returned.”

You shouldn’t but you feel like someone is just crushing your heart.

“No…then what about last night? When you left.” You press for more even if the little voice in your head is telling you to stop fishing for more.

“You did not want to see me, remember?” He sasses you. “Was I supposed to stay here just to have you glaring at me?”

You snap your eyes to him and narrow your glare, making him avert his gaze and answer quieter.

“I was with Ser Criston for a time before I took care of those men that shot at your dragon while our son was strapped on your chest.”

The corner of your lips twitch, but that does nothing to win you over.

“And the other times,” he continues and takes a step forward to close the gap left between you by grabbing your face and forcing you to meet his gaze. “Meant nothing. It was nothing but comfort while I was tormented. I did not touch her the way I touch you, I did not kiss her in any way, my heart, my lips are yours. I am yours. It meant nothing,” he makes clear by pouring out his heart, and bringing tears to your eyes.

Yet your tears aren’t out of relief that he gifted you the confession that his heart only yearns for you. You start to cry out of guilt and…regret.

You did not want to feel regret. It was a cemented knowledge, but you are the bad person here. You are horrible for becoming one flesh with another man, for feeling love and appreciation for someone else who is not your husband. Perhaps what Aemond did was bad too, his affair was emotional, but that night your heart belonged to Cregan, and now…if what Helaena said was true then your sin might come to life.

How could you be so horrible?

Why did you have to dig for the truth? It would have been better if you just simmered in your jealousy, but now?

Gods.

You turn your head away to not face him, but he just moves his head in search of your teary eyes. And when he finds your gaze he wipes the tears off your cheeks and parts his lips. Yet nothing comes out but a punctured breath as his eye grows tender and bright like the stars and the moon that reign the sky, but infinitely more beautiful, and just for you to admire and cherish.

Profound enamourment also fills his eye and only works to make his confession of love louder without any need for words.

If only you could give it all in return. You can’t share that intense love because resentment and hatred are still very much alive in your heart. Besides, now guilt for what you did takes a space within you, only further pushing that affection.

“Come with me,” he beckons, much to your surprise.

“Where?” You ask.

“Out,” he only surprises you more. “In the city.”

You scoff. Is he being serious? Or is this some jest? He says the city at night is for delinquents to rage, you always have to force him out with you to do something fun.

“We shouldn’t, I—”

“Now it’s you who’s protesting,” he cuts you off with the corner of his lips perked. “Just come with me for the night. Please.”

You lower your face and remark. “You do not like going into the city. I always have to beg you to come out at night. Then again you have been out, so.” you remark bitterly.

Aemond slides his hands down to hold your shoulders and even if he is annoyed at your remark he insists. “I…just want to show you some fun,” he uses your own persuading words against you purposely.

“Aemond,” you protest and he grabs your face again to pull you towards him, making your eyes flicker to his lips just a hairsbreadth away, calling for your warmth and taste to reunite and mold back together like a missing puzzle piece.

“Please,” he insists softly and pulls away to offer you his hand.

You glance at his hand offering you an attempt at a rekindle and then look back at his eye and the sapphire glimmering against the candlelight, and it's almost like it's giving a hopeful glow in the same way his eye, his lips, and eyebrows express the hope that you will accept.

A part of you says no, you will worsen your guilt, and it won’t be fun if you’re bitter and hold resentment with each word, but also another part of you is too curious and intrigued by the fact that he's the one offering you a night out first and not the other way around.

Both sides fight a short bloody fight, with one choice coming out triumphant. But deep down was it so hard to choose?

As if attracted to a dark calling of temptation you give him your hand.

.

.

.

.

A/N- No don’t take us out into the city Aemond, you’re so sexy and smitten aha 🫣

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @callsignwidow @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104

[sturniozo]

Savage Love

Matt Sturniolo x reader Mafia AU

Summary: After a night out with her friends, Y/n wakes up in a hotel bed with a handsome stranger with no memory of the night before. Pieceing together what she can, she finds the man she woke up with wasn’t just some stranger, but the most powerful man in New York.

A/N: I’m basing all of my mafia knowledge on watching the god father when I was six and that one episode of community with the chicken fingers. Other than that I have no clue how mafia works so this might not be as good as you hope but hey I tried. Tell me if you want me to continue this though! I had fun writing it!

Masterlist

I never go out with my friends and I felt bad about it for a long time. But today, Emma convinced me to go dancing with her at a club in New York. I’ve been in the city many times, as I live just outside of it, in a small apartment above a bookshop. But the city of New York still terrifies me, especially at night. There’s a rumor of a secret organization that controls just about everything in the city, and if you cross the man at the top then you’re done for.

Of course, these are just rumors and haven’t actually been proven. I have nothing to fear, right?

Now I’m sitting in front of Emma’s vanity mirror getting ready as she does my hair.

“Oh you should totally wear it down! Curl it a bit, let it hang over your shoulders. You might hook up tonight, you never know.” Emma teases as she messes with my hair. I finish curling my lashes and then turn to her.

“I don’t think I’ll hook up at all. I’m just not the type.” I shrug and stand up, switching places with Emma as she sits in front of her vanity mirror to do her own makeup.

“Well, I am the type.” She says as she starts with contour. I walk into the bathroom and plug in the curling iron to heat it up.

“You can hook up with any guy you want.” I say to Emma. “Just make sure he wraps it. I don’t want to be an aunt so soon.” I laugh.

Emma and I have been best friends since fourth grade. She’s my polar opposite, although we have the same dreams. We’re both journalists writing for a small newspaper outlet right outside of New York.

Emma’s the type to do things we’re doing now almost every day. She always tells me about all the big parties and exclusive events and venues she’s attended. She’s talk to, and slept with, many of the biggest people in multiple industries to get information for her articles.

I take a different approach. My stories come from the smaller people. The homeless and the struggling. I try to bring attention to the lower class of America.

I bet you can guess whose stories get published. Hence why I live in a small apartment above a bookshop, and Emma has a penthouse.

“God, I know. I can’t handle having a baby now. I’m only 20 for Pete’s sake!” Emma laughs and sets down her makeup brush. She turns to me and says “But I need to sleep with someone big and important tonight. I’m dying here, I haven had a story published in almost two weeks!”

I sigh. Two weeks is nothing. Try five months. I’m basically just a consultant at this point.

Emma turns back to the mirror to finish her makeup. I check the curling iron and it’s nice and hot, so I begin to curl the ends of my hair. Just a little curly at the edge.

Emma gets up from the mirror and starts shutting off lights and electronics around her penthouse. I unplug the curling iron and walk into the front room to put on my shoes and grab my purse. Emma shut off the last light and we walk out of the penthouse. She locks the door and we get into the elevator, going down to the front desk.

Emma has an Uber waiting for us. The great thing about Emma is, no matter how much more she has than me, she always gives and never asks for any in return. It’s always been this way. She’s the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. She’s also the most ruthless journalist I’ve ever met.

We get into the Uber and the driver starts for the city. It’s a long drive, one that me and Emma use to our advantage and try to find out who’s the most important person attending the party.

“Oh my god!” Emma says after a long silence of us just looking at our phones.

“What is it, who will be there?” I ask frantically.

“Matt Sturniolo!”

I look at her, confused. “Who’s that?”

“Who’s that? WHO’S THAT? Matt Sturniolo is only the most powerful guy in New York!”

“That can’t be true, how come I’ve never heard of him?”

“Because you focus on who can help the lower class. He can’t help them, it’s not in his power.”

“Then he doesn’t have much power.”

“Oh, he has power. He has all the power. It’s his rumor that he’s the one who controls all the important somebody’s in New York. I gotta make it my mission to sleep with him. God, I bet he’s good in bed.” She says to herself.

I let out a laugh. “What story do you plan together by sleeping with him?”

“I want to know if the rumor is true, duh!” She laughs and lightly hits my shoulder.

We arrive at the venue. It’s large and the music is blaring. We step out of the car and I lean to Emma and say loudly so she can hear me over the music “The most powerful man in New York is gonna be here?” I laugh. “This doesn’t look like a scene you’d catch someone so important in.”

“Trust me, he’ll be here. Steph said so, and she’s always right!” Emma says back. She takes my hand and drags me through the line, showing the bouncer a VIP pass for both her and I. They let us in and Emma immediately drags me to the bar.

“Two vodka martinis!” She says to the bartender. The bartender nods and begins our drinks. I turn around to look at all the people dancing. Men in half dressed suits grinding on women in the shortest dresses. This is what Emma does every day? I understand the appeal, but the loud music and the flashing lights just aren’t for me.

We get our drinks and Emma takes me to a table to sit down at. “So what do we do now?” I ask.

“We mingle!” She shouts and raises her hands in the air.

The rest of the night that I can still remember was filled with drinking and Emma talking to numerous people, always asking about the guy who’s name I can no longer remember due to my copious consumption of alcohol. The last thing I remember was talking to a tall, handsome, dark haired man with beautiful light blue eyes.

~

I awake with a pounding headache. I raise my head from my pillow and slowly open my eyes, groaning from the pain. I look around and realize, this is not my bedroom. This is not Emma’s bedroom. I have no clue where I am. I scan the room and my eyes fall on a strange man sitting on the couch. I gasp and he looks up at me.

“Good, you’re awake. I was wondering if I’d have to drop you at the emergency room.” He laughs to himself.

I sit up fully in the bed. “Who are you? Where am I?” I ask frantically.

“My names Matt, and-“ I stop him

“Oh my god.”

“It’s fine just-“

“Oh god what happened?”

“Nothing, I-“

“I was drunk!”

“I know, that’s why I-“

“Tell me I didn’t. We didn’t.”

“Would you let me fucking speak?” He yells. “I didn’t fucking touch you, okay? You were dancing on a table and your friend had gone home with some guy so I got you a hotel room. You could barely stand and you just passed out on the bed.” He finishes with a huff.

I stare up at him in shock. “So we didn’t”

“No. We didn’t.” He pauses. “But we could.” He says with a smirk.

A blush appears on my cheeks and my breath shakes “What?” I ask

“Well you’re an attractive girl, I wouldn’t mind it.” He laughs. “But I have a meeting in an hour, so it’ll have to be another time. Want my number while you think about it?” He asks and before I can answer he hands me a card. “I got an Uber waiting for you whenever you’re ready to go home, it’s already paid for. Just do whatever you need to before you leave.” He says, clearly insisting I shower and eat. “And tell the driver where you need to go. Don’t forget to call, doll face.” He says before leaving and closing the door behind him.

I look down at the card he had handed me.

‘Matt Sturniolo.’ With an address and phone number.

Tags: @stargirlsturniololover (the one who came up with the idea for Mafia!Matt) @sturniolobessed

[en-rev]

Enhypen x female member reader

Summary: en o'clock ep 32 except you are the 8th member. 

Note: the reader is older than Ni-ki but younger than Jungwon, and of course the episode had to be changed a bit. Kinda long for no reason tbh. 

_______________

Face down on the floor, arms and legs positioned to give the illusion you’re knocked unconscious. As some of the members pretend to wake up, you stay down and let Jungwon and Sunoo handle the intro. 

Waiting for your turn to leave the waiting room you eye Jay's sleeping bag, not noticing he saw your stare. “Yah, don’t even think about it” he claims protectively as he tosses it over his shoulder. Looking into the camera you pout and mouth “so rude”. Hearing your name be called, you quickly run out of the room, hoping to try and outrun the cameraman while also trying to get to an area none of your members were in. 

Tired, you turn a corner and make eye contact with Niki. Pausing for a second both of you look at each other, standing still before you turn back and run quickly “don’t come close!” He claps his hands and laughs as he chases you as a joke. Running into a room, you spot Sunoo in his orange set finding a mission. 

“You found one already?” you ask as you look at the sheet of paper. “Yeah, it was just under the block.” Sunoo responds as he draws for his mission. Walking and checking out the room Niki walks in. Staying still and crouched near the front of the door, you stayed and watched over Sunoo. Niki is always playing pranks on the members so it makes sense that they would make him one of the imposters. Remembering the imposters aren’t announced yet, you slowly approach them as they’re immersed in Sunoo’s drawing. “Boo!” you shout as you grab onto Niki’s shoulders and lightly shake him. “Yah!” he shouts, turning to you, seeing you book it out of the room before he starts chasing you. 

Losing Niki you turn into an area and find Jay searching on the floor. Quietly making your way behind him you see him grabbing an ice cream from the fridge. “Can I have one too?” you ask, now craving an ice cream. “Yo what the f-” Jay catches himself, startled as he turns to face you. Putting a hand on his hip he points at you, “What have I told you about sneaking up on people Y/n” he scolds. Playfully pouting, you apologize as he hands you an ice cream. “You found any missions yet?” you ask, as you begin to eat the ice cream. “No, try checking on the counter over there” he guides you before the staff tells you time has passed and you will learn your roles. 

Standing with your camera man rubbing your hands together in excitement to find out your role. “I'm a citizen right? I’ll totally be able to tell who’s the imposter.” you claim with pride as you clap your hands together. 

“No”

“No?..... I’m…. imposter?” you ask, eyebrows raised, mouth opened in disappointment. Seeing the staff nod you turn towards the wall and dramatically hunch over and pretend to punch the wall. The camera then cuts to you as you walk down a hallway, “It’s okay, sometimes in life we don’t get what we want. But this just means I was always meant for this role…. And I will win.” you say as you point to the camera and pat your chest, “Just watch and see” 

On a mission to find Jake and eliminate him, you walk peacefully around the halls, but still stay weary of who may be nearby. Passing through a hall you hear Sunoo talking about coffee and continue my way with a smile. Running into Niki you see him moving a couch. “You found a mission?” Seeing him jump a bit you laugh as he smiles while clutching onto the piece of paper. “You’re the mafia?” he asks weary while keeping his distance from you. “No, I'm a citizen. I just haven’t found any missions, I saw Sunoo doing his” I explain giving him some info to begin framing a picture of me being innocent. “Hmmm” he hums still wary of your presence, “I don’t trust you” he says with a smile as he keeps the distance between the two of you. Smirking, you jokingly jump towards him and laugh loudly as he jumps back. “You go away! I have to do my mission.” he says waving you off. You smile and head towards another hallway, “Ok, but you’re gonna regret me leaving, you’ll probably need my help” you say as you stick your tongue out at him before jogging down the hallway to try and find Jake. 

Roaming endlessly you begin to sulk to the camera. “I haven’t seen him since we started, I swear he just vanished.” Continuing down the hall you begin to drag your feet before turning to the cameraman and whispering “Do you know where he is?.... I promise I won’t tell” you beg with your hands together in desperation. The camera shakes showing that the cameraman was telling you know and you let out a disappointed sigh before the camera cuts to you talking to the camera again. “You know…. Life throws unexpected obstacles at you, but you must persevere…. This is only a sign that my efforts will lead to my success. I will find you Jake.” you say confidently as you bring your fist to your palm. 

Hearing commotion near the room you saw Sunoo in earlier you begin to approach carefully and peak the corner. Seeing Heeseung, Jake, and Niki entering the room you get a hop in your step as you finally see Jake. Staying at the corner of the hall you see Heeseung and Niki run from the room while Jake stays near the door, peeking into the room. Approaching quietly as Jake is by the door you grab his arm to pull him away from the view of the door quickly and press the stamp given to you onto his back before running away quickly with a bounce to your run. “Naur!” you hear Jake yell in the distance, probably finding out that he was eliminated. Standing on the escalators as you’re nearly to the second floor you celebrate by dancing in front of the camera. “Mission success” you say as you give a thumbs up to the camera. 

Reaching the second floor you decide to look around to see if there are any other members around to begin building your alibi. As you reached the top you ran into Jungwon, but was startled as you weren't expecting him. As you gasped you clutched your sweatshirt, “Jungwon you scared me.” you breathed out, eyes wide. He laughed as you both kept a distance from each other. Looking at his hands you notice he doesn’t have anything. “You haven’t found any missions down here?” you ask, trying to look wary of him so he can think you’re innocent. “Are you the mafia?” he asks, stepping back slightly. “No?” you say as you furrow your brows and point downstairs, “I just finished a mission and came to look for some up here.” Standing in silence you squint your eyes before holding out your hand, showing your pinky finger. You haven’t gotten a name for your next victim so you might as well get someone to back up your alibi. “Let’s promise to watch each other and do a mission?” you ask. “Ok.” Jungwon says excitedly, trusting you and locking fingers before you both go down the hall and go into the room you recognized earlier. 

“I can’t tell whose mafia yet. I’ve seen the other downstairs but I’ve never seen Jake or Sunghoon. Do you think they might be mafia?” I ask in hopes of him starting to pin the blame on the other members. “It can’t be heeseung because we did a mission together earlier.” nodding my head we enter a lounge area and Jungwon bursts out laughing “Jay hyung?” he questions as he approaches a sleeping Jay. You hunch over and laugh as you see Jay laying on a couch in his sleeping bag dead asleep. He really did end up putting that sleeping bag to use. As you both approach him Jungwon begins to shake him and ask whether he is dead or not. Beginning to shake Jay too, Jungwon finally reports his death as you begin to mess with Jay. Sticking the ends of your hair into his ear as he swats you away and you laugh as you try to avoid his swatting hand. 

As you and Jungwon reach the discussion room you sip on your drink as you lean your head against the wall and wait for the other members to arrive. Seeing Jake enter the room and be given angel wings you lightly push Jungwon’s leg with yours to get his attention as you let out a gasp. “You died too?” you ask with a stunned tone as Jake smiles and shakes his head as he knows what game you’re trying to play. Heeseung begins to wonder just who might’ve killed Jake since he only got Jay during this round, meaning there was another imposter in the group. Since you were with Jungwon when Jay was found, you knew exactly what to do. 

Facing your members you begin to explain, “I think Sunghoon is one of the imposters. When we found Jay, Sunghoon approached us out of nowhere and was suspicious.” you explain as you point to both yourself and Jungwon. He immediately begins to nod his head, “Yeah, it couldn’t have been us because we were trying to complete missions earlier.” he says as he begins to look at the members and see what anyone else had to say. “Heeseung is the imposter! Earlier he had something in his pocket.” Niki points at Heeseung as he explains earlier events that happened between them. “It was in his pocket and he kept acting suspicious.” he emphasizes, hoping to finally take down Heeseung as he tried his best to avoid him earlier. Contemplating what to do, deciding to back Niki up, you think it may benefit you later. “Niki can’t be one of the imposters because I was alone with him earlier and saw him trying to do a mission. I trust Niki” you say looking at Heeseung, showing the others I also think he’s an imposter. If Heeseung is your partner, then this was just a sacrifice that needed to be made to ensure your success. The seeds are already planted. 

Heeseung was voted out, and because of Niki’s explanation of Heeseung having something in his pocket, you figured he was the other imposter. Using a hair tie on your wrist you showed the camera that instead of keeping the stamp in your pocket, you would keep it on your arm near your wrist under your sweater while the hair tie keeps it in place. You wouldn't make the same mistakes Heesung did, “Thank you Heeseung” you wink at the camera, showing how well you hid the stamp. Walking around the staff gives you your next target, this time you get to eliminate two members since you’re one against four. Getting your targets you let out a light gasp. Showing the paper to the camera you show that your next victims are Sunoo and Niki, “Sorry boys but you’re going down”. Stopping in the hallway you bring your hand to your chin as you think, and slowly start to cook up a plan. Finally deciding what to do, you nod before walking around trying to find your next victims. 

Turning into a hallway you stop and gasp being startled by Sunghoon as you weren’t expecting him to be there. He is always so quiet. Bringing a hand to clutch your sweater on your chest you show that you were wary of him. “You scared me…” you explain trying to see if he had anything in his hands like a mission. He wasn’t your target but you did try to blame him earlier, if all works well with teaming up with Jungwon earlier, then you can get him voted out. “How come you were nowhere to be seen last round until Jay was found?” you ask with a raised brow, hoping that after this conversation he wouldn’t think you were the imposter. “I didn’t see you anywhere either, how do I know you’re not the imposter?” he asks back, not wanting to be pinned as one of the imposters. “I was completing missions but no one has seen you do one…” you explain, not exactly where you wanted to be in this conversation. As you both stand there in a standoff with words, “If someone sees you do a mission then I’ll believe you, but until then stay back.” you say slowly stepping away from him, not taking your eyes off him. He laughed lightly while turning away. 

Wandering the floor warily you look for any signs of Sunoo, he would be the best target for now since he would probably make less noise than Niki would. Niki would probably be too shocked and loud that he might give away your identity. Glancing through the rooms searching for Sunooo you decide to head onto a different floor. While on the escalator you pout at the camera. “It's going to be extra hard because there's too many people against me…. It's okay, everything works out in the end.” you speak, mainly to yourself but also to the camera. Walking around you hear a familiar voice talking about a mission. Smiling you immediately knew it was Sunoo and head over, making sure that no one was around you realized no one else was on this floor. Seeing him walk down the hallway making conversation with the camera you quickly and quietly approach him from behind without making any noise and press your stamp to his back before running into the hallway right next to you so he wouldn’t be able to see you. 

Successfully getting away you celebrated with your camera man, “I knew Sunoo would be best to go after, now we just have to get Niki.” As you approached a different floor from being on the elevator, seeing nothing but a bunch of chairs and windows you didn’t notice anyone on the floor with you. Turning to you cameraman you put a thumbs up for your second successful kill before you see a paper on a table. “Oh a mission?” you point out as you grab it and read it. This mission didn’t matter because they weren’t for me but you were curious as to what they were. Reading it outloud to my cameraman you look up to show it to him just because it was a look into what my victims had to do, turning around and you jump and scream. “JUNGWON!” you screech as you almost fall to the floor as you take a couple steps back. He flinches at how loud you screamed but bursts out laughing, clenching his stomach as he leans onto the table to support him. “Are you scared? Did I scare you?” he teases as you grab his arm and shake him lightly, “I almost had a heart attack right now Yang Jungwon'' you whine “I found a mission, let's do it?” you say as you wave the paper in front of his face, reminding him of the pinky promise you made earlier. Completing the mission you both face your cameras and pose, you giving a thumbs up and giving a mission complete to both cameras. 

Heading down in the elevator you both travel together for now since you both feel safe around each other. If only he knew… thinking about doing the mission, technically it was working against me but I doubt that they were even close to finishing. Building an alibi right now is what matters and Jungwon would be able to provide it. As you both wait for the elevator to go down, you both are just goofing around in the elevator, since you both were close in age you were very comfortable with each other. Being back to back you both are balancing yourselves by pressing your backs together and squatting as if you were sitting in a chair while your arms were interlocked. “I can't, I'm gonna fall!” you yelled out with a strained voice as you both were trying to keep yourselves up. Laughing just caused your stomach to hurt even more. Finally the elevator doors opened and he peeked his head out, “Wait” he held out an arm to keep you in the elevator as he scooped out the surrounding area before motioning for you to come out. Exiting the elevator you both were walking down a hall, looking for another mission to do together. 

Honestly, you weren’t exactly sure what to do next. If you left Jungwon’s side and he ran into Sunghoon and teamed up, they could find Sunoo. Also, how were you even supposed to eliminate Niki right now when you’re attached to Jungwon. As if the gods answered your prayers Jungwon turned to you and put a hand on your shoulder. “I have to use the restroom” he stated while pointing to the restroom right next to you, hoping that they would cut this out when it aired. Nodding I let him go, “I’ll wait for you down the hall, in case I have to run,” you explained as he nodded, entering the restroom. When the coast was clear I quickly headed out and ran silently in search of Niki, if this was quick then I can make it back to Jungwon, but it's not certain that Niki will be on this floor. A higher power must’ve loved you because to your luck, there he was. Presented right to you as he was peering into a room, approaching from behind silently you pressed the stamp against him and was going to make a run for it, but right then and there your heart dropped. 

Standing right there, a witness to your murder. Sunghoon stood mouth agape, as he witnessed first hand that you were the imposter. Not knowing what to do, you did the only thing that you could think of to save yourself. Sunghoon would have to go down, and this would have to be where Jungwons trust in you mattered. Screaming extra loud purposely you ran back to where jungwon was. Seeing him coming out of the restroom you grabbed his hand pulling him while telling him breathlessly as you continued to run. “It’s Sunghoon, I saw him eliminate Niki” I breathe out as we run. He looks back, unsure of what to do “Why did you report it?” he questioned, pulling his arm away. “He was right there, I ran to get you because if you’re safe then we can vote him out.” You explain, letting him keep his distance if he felt more comfortable that way. He nodded, accepting your answer. Afterall it couldn't have been you since you’ve been with him practically this whole time right? Reporting it everyone met back in the discussion room 

Sitting nervously next to Jungwon you tried to not let it show how you were feeling. He chewed on his ice cutely and you glanced over to everyone who went to sit down by the rest of the eliminated members. You pouted slightly as you felt bad, but to the staff they found it quite funny how you were pouting at the members you eliminated. “There’s four survivors left right?” Jungwon asked, however the staff denied it. “What, who died?” you asked, turning over to your eliminated members. You knew but you still had to seem innocent to Jungwon. Letting out a small you gasp, while clutching your sweater over your heart. “Sunoo, I’m sorry we didn't find you” you say, sending him a hand heart. He was honestly like your bestie so having to kill him felt wrong, but it had to be done to secure your win. All that needed to be done now was to vote out Sunghoon and the imposters would win. “Look, he’s sad that he’s dead” Hesseing laughs as he points out Niki pouting as he looks down, playing with something in his lap. All the members laugh (excluding Jay since he was knocked tf out), and finally set back to try and uncover who the imposter is. 

Sitting between Sunghoon and Jungwon you scoot towards Jungwon, still trying to play your role to a t to win. Looking at Jungwon he nods at you, trusting you because of how much time you guys had spent together, he figured that if you were the imposter you would’ve killed him already. “We vote out Sunghoon as the imposter” Jungwon states confidently as he places another ice cube in his mouth. As he crunches on his ice cube you nod your head as Sunghoon sighs in defeat. However the staff shakes their head before explaining, “The game is over, the imposter’s won”. Your head shoots up in confusion as your brows furrow, “The imposters won? How?” you ask as you look at the rest of your members with confusion written on both yours and their faces. “The imposter’s goal was to kill 3 members, four were eliminated.” the staff explains. “Does everyone know who the imposters are?” they ask as they know a couple of the members don’t know who the imposters were. Sunoo, Heeseung, and Jay raise their hands as they don’t know who the other imposter is. Heeseung didn’t know who his partner was, Jay was killed by Hesseung and missed the whole game, Sunoo was practically snipped, and Sunghoon knows, along with Jungwon, even though Jungwon doesn’t know entirely. 

First the staff reveals Heeseung as one of the imposters and he smiles while Niki yells that everyone should’ve trusted him. Members laugh until Heeseung disrupts, “I don’t know who the other imposter is though, and I was only able to kill Jay” he admits as he scratches his head. Jake and Niki laugh pettily since they knew you were the imposter, but decided to not spoil it. “I didn’t even see who killed me, they ran before I knew what happened” Sunoo explained with a pout. The other members laughed and Jay spoke up, awake from his nap. “Sunoo got snipped,” he laughed, causing the other members to laugh too, especially since they thought he was sleeping. Jungwon turns towards the staff as he asks while raising his brows, “Who is it?” he questions, suspense building in the room. The staff points to you and you smile as you have a clear taste of victory. Jumping up from where you were sitting you jump, hitting both of your feet together as you threw a fist in the air in victory. Turning to face your members you point to yourself as you do a little victory dance, “I win!!!” you explain, doing some random footwork. Sunoo was absolutely appalled, getting killed and not knowing the killer was enough to gag him, but you, his bestie, had him absolutely gagged. Raising a hand to his mouth he gasps, “REALLY?” he questions as Niki stomped his feet lightly, “I should’ve known” he sighed out with a small smile. Jake speaks up, “She killed me and no one even found me!” he stated while pouting. Members were laughing and Jungwon had his arms by his side in defeat as he rested his head against the wall, “She had me fooled, totally wrapped around her finger. She even helped me on missions, I thought she was clear!” he explains to the camera. You and Heeseung are fistbumping at your sweet victory as the other members piece everything together. Sunghoon and Jay speak at the same time, “Is no one else concerned that she's too good at this?” they say to the camera as the members were conversing about the game. 

Settling back down you lean your head against the wall as you face the cameras with a big smile. Clearing your throat you look into the camera, “I’ve never had to deceive so many people before, it was so stressful but I’m glad that I was able to win with my partner. And I’m sorry to my members who I’ve killed along the way.” you apologize with a giggle in your tone and the other members laugh. “You were too good of an imposter, we can’t trust you in any other games we do now ever.” Jay states which sends the other members into a laughing spiral. “I’ve never had to lie so much in my life,” Heeseung laughs as he sits down. As the members calm down Sunghoon goes to end the shoot before the staff interrupts. “It’s not over yet..” 

“What?” everyone asks as an imaginary sweat drop falls down your face, one round was enough for you. 

______________

I’ve never written anything like this before and I’m not sure if many will like it but here this is. I tried, maybe if people like it then I’ll do another. I also didn’t double check or proof read this so sorry if there are any mistakes.

[svt-hari]

Go Together NANA TOUR EP 1-1. Don't Let SEVENTEEN Know

SYNOPSIS: seventeen gets kidnapped for youth over flowers

WC: 670 words

WARNING(S): N/A

NOTE: this contains spoilers to seventeen's nana tour. read at your own risk! — i also didn't want to write out the whole episode so i broke it down into smaller parts

TAGLIST: @ateezjuliet . @moonlight-additions . @pinkbrries . @justmochi . @enhacolor . @allthings-fandoms . @mingis-wrld . @itzy-eve . @zwiehe . @sxeetmelody . @nvmbheart . @magical-spit . @smoooore . @cosmicwintr . @fairiepoems . @jiaverse . @lillijay . @nishinoya2007 . @peppercane . @hazedaze . @aysxldea . @soulphoenix1618 .

Seventeen finally finished their last concert in Tokyo and were celebrating to end the night. Hari decided to have a drink with Joshua, Hoshi, Mingyu, Seungkwan, and Chan before heading to bed, so that she’d be able to leave in the afternoon.

“Hey Dino, can you call my phone?.” Seungcheol slyly asks as he searches for the phone.

Chan bops his head to the beat that’s been playing from the speakers and sings his heart out, drunk from the earlier night’s activities. Seeing that Chan wouldn’t call, he asks Mingyu to call instead.

“Pick up the phone!” Chan sings, continuing his random song.

“Dino, call my phone.” Seungcheol repeats again.

“Okay, I’ll call for you. Don’t worry! I’ll call your phone, don’t worry!”

Dino continues to sing as he hears the call ring, waiting for the others to hear his ringtone go off.

“It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!” Na PD picks up the call, “Hello?”

“Hello?”

“Hey Coups, how can you leave your phone lying around like this?”

“...Hello?”

Na PD enters the room as he talks into the phone, surprising the members who couldn’t believe the man that was right in front of them.

After the surprise was made, the members who were awake created their plan on who to wake up in order for them to leave.

“Well, Hari just left an hour ago to wash up and sleep. We can wake her up first?” Seungkwan suggests.

“No, no. Let’s get her towards the end. She texted me five minutes ago so she could still be awake.” Mingyu interjects, shaking his head.

“Okay, so then we’ll wake Dokyeom up first, then just go down the hall until we reach the end.”

“So, how should we wake Hari up?” Hoshi asks, looking around for ideas.

“I really don’t think that she fell asleep yet. She takes forever to unwind.” Seungkwan adds, shaking his head.

“Here, how about this? I go in and tell her that everything has been pushed forward to an earlier time and that we have to leave right now? Then I can mention that Seungcheol called me.” Jeonghan says.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Seungcheol agrees, knowing that she would fall for their little act.

“Okay, let me get through.” Jeonghan weaves through the crowd of people and knocks on the door.

“Come in!” Hari shouts unfolding the blankets to get ready to sleep.

“She’s awake?!”

“See, I told you.” Seungkwan mumbles, knowing his friend all too well.

“Hari, Seungcheol just called me and told me that we have to leave in an hour.” Jeonghan slowly opens the door and trudges over to see the girl about to slide into bed.

“What? I thought we would leave at noon tomorrow. I was just about to get into bed.” She whines.

“I know, I’m sorry that we’re leaving so soon. But I think it’s about time to go have fun?” Na PD enters the room with the other members following behind him.

“Huh?”

Hari blinks rapidly and pats her cheeks to make sure that she isn’t hallucinating. From what she thinks, Na PD is in the room with her members laughing at her adorable reaction.

“So, we’re leaving now? I mean, I packed most of my things but I still have to repack my toiletries since I left them out for the morning.”

“We can just leave it here. The staff is going to take our stuff back.” Wonwoo says, patting the girl’s head.

“Okay, now that she’s awake, let’s really think of a good plan to tell Minghao. I feel really sorry to him.” Na PD says as they all settle into her room.

Once the final plan is set, she follows Woozi out the door and sticks by him, clearly out of it and wants nothing but to sleep in her bed.

“It’s okay, I didn’t believe it at first either. I was out like a light.” Woozi chuckles as he nudges the girl, which causes her to crack a smile.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

The fun continues with three currently airing gems, a new show entering the fray, and an animated story so good I am reading a manga to keep up with it. Four of these are on Gaga and one is coming to us via fan sub. Jump on in to the weekly watch, we're having so much fun and not feeling at all overwhelmed by the deluge of amazing content! *chuckles nervously*

Takara's Treasure

I continue to love this quiet little show. This week I desperately wanted someone, anyone, to answer Taishin's earnest questions. He is doing his best to figure this out but no one is helping him! I like that despite wanting him to figure out his feelings for himself, Takara continues to reach out to Taishin to let him know his attention is welcome. This week we also met Emiri, an instant fav who taught Taishin all about stanning. I appreciate that this show joined other recent jbls in making a clear distinction between being a stan and being in love. Real love is not fanaticism, and the former is what Takara seems to want from Taishin--once he's ready.

I Hear the Sunspot

Ugh this show just gets me right in the heart. As I hoped, we got to sit with Taichi this episode as he worked through his confusion and worry about Kohei. It makes sense for Kohei to back off in the wake of his ignored confession, and it also makes sense that Taichi didn't hear him (metaphorically). And even after having it repeated in a way he can't misunderstand, he still doesn't know what to do with it. He just knows he likes Kohei and wants to be around him, and he seems okay with just leaving it at that for now. I loved, too, that we got to spend time with Kohei as he's coping with his worsening condition and get to know his mother, who is a delightful person who loves Taichi just as much as her son does. I'm so glad we are getting to see this story told properly in full in such a great adaptation.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

Finally, the truth!!! Ayaka is a menace and Hiroko is fighting for her life. Like hanging out with a niece, my ass! Most of the office misinterpreting Ayaka's behavior as crushing on Yuya instead of Hiroko continues to be hilarious, as are all Hiroko's friends trying to push her to cross the line. I was sad to learn that Risa has her own unrequited love going on; I want all the girls to end this story happily! I did love their conversation about identity, and that the show gave some space for Ayaka to consider whether lesbian is the right label for her. Checking out the lesbian bar together was a great way to test things out, and I was dying at the other girls hitting on Ayaka. Can't wait to see what happens next now that Hiroko has no more denial to cling to.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Shoutout to @isaksbestpillow for picking this show up, because it’s an instant fav! Ishida and Mitsuya are fantastic characters, and man are they GAY. This is a food drama and a story of queer men of different generations seeing something unexpected in each other and forming a surprising bond. I was pleasantly surprised by how immediately the attraction and sexual tension arrived in this story, and I want to know so much more about Mitsuya and why he seems to be holding a desperate sadness alongside all his wisdom about life. Very excited to see these two nourish each other. You can find Sirii’s subs here.

Twilight Out of Focus

I don't watch anime (do not @ me, many have tried), but @bengiyo liked the story for this one enough that he told me I can’t skip it, so I am reading the manga along with the show. And I gotta say, I loved this first story with Mao and Hisashi (this is a multi couple series so not sure how the next one will go). Ben is on vacay so I'm tagging @twig-tea to talk about the episode that aired this week.

[mammalsofaction]

SIKE! GET LOVED IDIOT

Rating: G

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: fix it fic, rewrite the unmentionable chibiverse episode, the destiel-fication of Perryshmirtz, this is an excuse for me showeing Heinz with love and aftercare.

AN: Many thanks to my lovely, sleepy beta @agentlizardofowca, who sent me the video through discord so it could be the first thing i would see upon waking up so we could both yell at each other about it. They fucking destiel-ed him.

---

"Perry the Platypus!"

There is a brief, but meaningful applause as he descends in appropriately melodramatic way. The stage is well built, and the mic doesn't screech. Perry keeps an eye on the prize, even as he swallows the given pill.

Heinz looks…wary. He did not, at least, have his arms crossed, but over the course of the last few hours Perry notices how he's grown to hunch further into himself, curling into his seat. His brows were deeply furrowed, like he was waiting to be physically hit at any moment, which still might be likely.

The pill goes down smooth as butter. There is a discernible electrical buzz, from his insides. As he coughs, he expects himself to belch smoke. Instead, as he approaches the mic, he speaks with a voice that was his-and-not-his-own.

"Well, hello there!"

Heinz yells in disbelief. Perry blinks.

"Oh, that is weird, hearing you speak,"

It's an even weirder sensation, Perry thinks, to be able have Heinz firmly understand him speak. He grips the edges of the podium tightly, then forcibly relaxes.

"Heinz," he laughs nervously. It still sounds like it came from someone else. "What can I say, about my greatest frenemy? I'd take my hat off to you, but then you'd have no idea who I am,"

A chorus of laughter follows . Heinz harrumphed, briefly looking away to stubbornly insist that he "Doesn't get it." But Perry does not miss the distrustful twitch of his lips.

God he can't do this. Perry takes in a deep breath.

"There are many things you continue to surprise me about, my friend," Perry continues, and he watches in real time as Heinz both blooms and flinches in anticipation of his next words. "But most astonishingly is how you…can twist your mind into such horrible directions."

A confused silence ensues. Someone yells out a demanding "What?" that breaks the man's confused daze.

"Yeah, what?" Asked the man of the hour. "Are you saying I think in a really evil way, or are you just calling me dumb?"

The former, Perry knows, would be a compliment the man sorely needs, but it would not be an accurate one.

Perry isn't interested in playing this stupid game. "Neither. Heinz, look around you. Don't you see?" Perry's mouth pursed tightly. "You are surrounded by friends."

There is a perceptible change in the air, punctuated by muttering and distressed whispering. Perry exhales loudly. "Do you really think all of us genuinely think so lowly of you?"

Heinz scowls, confused. His eyes dart to and fro, but they eventually land back to him. They always do.

"Some friends. I don't have any friends.That's half the point we've been making all day."

"I'm your friend." Perry says, a little desperately, but it isn't about him. "Heinz, you insist that the people you surround yourself with think of you in ways you already think of yourself in that too big brain of yours, that you don't see the affection and respect of the people who like having you around. This event is your idea. Do you think people would have thought about anything cruel we've said if you hadn't said you wanted to hear it? "

" There were plenty of volunteers."

"We're an outgoing group who like to help one another! Heinz, look," Perry scowls back. "I don't agree with everything Darcy said, but she was right about one thing. Your biggest enemy is, and always has been, yourself. You tend to think of yourself as a being a failure, as being hated. But that isn't true."

"Yeah!" Marcy yells helpfully from the crowd, followed by some pointed hushing. She doesn't seem to notice. "I do actually think you're talented, Dr. D!"

"I think you're really fun!" Someone adds.

"You always know when to stop when we ask."

"You really rock a labcoat, too, Dr. D!"

"I actually like your shoulders!"

The auditorium grows loud, as more and more chibis cheerfully add their kind, honest opinions of the man in the throne. It seems to throw him off, and he looks panicked, shocked, and heartbreakingly, astoundingly confused.

"Wait, WAIT! Everybody STOP. You guys were supposed to make fun of me!"

"We can keep making fun of you if you like, Dr. Doof." Star answers happily. " If you want, but it's all in good fun, right?"

"That doesn't mean we don't think you're also really cool, Dr D. " Mabel adds cheerfully. She has her little piglet in her arms, rocking him affectionately back and forth. " I do it with my brother all the time! I still love him to bits and bits."

From behind one camera, Dipper makes an embarrassed sound. He's still smiling, and Mabel comes around to tug him into a hug, sandwiching Waddles in the middle.

"But that-," Heinz began to sputter indignantly. Somewhere far below, there is a grinding, whining noise. Perry frowns. "But you-! But what about-what about-what about my, hey, what about my doctorate, huh? I bought it off the internet for 15 bucks! My teachers hated me! Im not actually a Doctor."

"We both know you never needed one to prove yourself more than capable of breaking the laws of physics on the daily." Perry chirps drily. There is another chorus of laughter for the not-quite-insult. "And I'm the last person to make fun of you for enjoying a spot of alliteration. Hello, Perry the Platypus?"

"Hey!" Heinz shouts, as the crowd continues to giggle. "This is my roast! Get in line!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Perry coughs into his fist, hiding a smile. " Where were we? Ah, yes, embarrassing you."

Heinz harrumphed, slouching back down into his seat in the assumption that the self loathing party was about to continue apace. Perry clears his throat. "Let's talk about how much you love your daughter."

Heinz shoots straight up, hands clenched into the sides of his seat. He looks, for a second, genuinely hurt, and angry. But Perry meets his gaze dead on, and the man eventually unclenches himself enough to speak, taking a deep breath as he looks away. "Fine. Fine. Whatever. There's nothing you're about to say that will make me feel even a little bit ashamed of how much I love my Vanessa."

"Yes, that is quite the pickle, isn't it? You, Heinz Doofenshmirtz," his voice turns soft despite his best efforts, feeling his cheeks burn fondly in reminiscence. "Are one of the strongest, kindest, sweetest parents I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my life."

Heinz blinks, caught off guard once again as the crowd goes "Awww,"

"You are embarassingly loving, you never let yourself forget the things she tells you she enjoys, even if they're gifts she asked for when she was barely a child. You are protective and vindictive of anything that could possibly come to hurt her, and you have never, ever, ever once forgotten to throw her a birthday, even when you've never had a decent one yourself in all your life,"

And finally, finally, Heinz blushes. A tint of red for being pleasantly flustered instead of the ashamed flush from before. The chibis laugh, coo and yell in playful disgust. Perry smiles smugly, pleased for having turned the tide of the event on its head.

From beneath their feet, the rumble grows, and the whining increases in fever pitch. Chibis begin to jump in surprise, the sounds of joy and celebration turning into ones of distress. Quite tellingly, Heinz looks perfectly unbothered, arms crossed petulantly. Perry raises an eyebrow.

There is a distant boom, muffled by a safe wall of dirt. One part of the stands collapses in on itself, and the chibis get off of it hurriedly. There is an ensuing silence.

Perry and Heinz had not, even once, looked away from one another. Perry leans on his elbow on the podium, raising his second eyebrow. Heinz slumps down his seat.

"Fine. I had an inator that was being charged by the negative energy of insults to take over the chibiverse, yada yada yada. It was supposed to be Platypus proof, because I didn't have time to put a self-destruct button. You jammed the energy input and made it explode by calling me nice things, happy?"

"Delirious." Perry answers, as the crowd cheers in celebration, another scheme thwarted, and another day saved.

The crowd climbs the stage in droves, chanting his name. Perry lets them have their fun, though he's not particularly enjoying being thrown into the air and carried over their heads, off the stage, to the backstage buffet.

He slinks off the second he was able to get away with it, to where Heinz was still curled on the throne in the auditorium hall, scribbling into his inventions book. He's not noticed Perry approaching, peeking over his shoulder to see he was already brainstorming his next scheme for molecular chibiverse domination, muttering angrily to himself.

"-tupid to think he actually meant what he was saying, I should've kept my lid on the plan better, hide my blueprints-,"

"I did, you know." Perry interrupts, and Heinz jumped, clutching the notebook close to his chest. "Meant them, I mean."

Heinz sighs gustily, posing like he's meant to retort something clever, but he's not sure what it is, yet. To render Heinz Doofenshmirtz speechless was no easy feat, adding another tally to Perry's accomplishments this day.

Not that he was ever unappreciative of Heinz's chatty nature.

After opening his mouth and closing it a couple more times, the doctor blurts; "I don't think I'll ever get used to that. You, talking, I mean."

Perry shrugs, self-conscious. Heinz adds, hurriedly, "I didn't say I didn't like it."

Perry tilts his head in question.

"I'll get used to it," Heinz assures, a bit shyly. It's making Perry blush too.

The agent shakes his head. " I don't think…, "

Heinz frowns. "You don't like it? "

Perry shrugs. "I don't need it. " He looks down. "I have you. "

He's not looking, so he isn't able to tell what expression Heinz might be wearing in the following silence.

Heinz breaks it eventually. "You keep doing this, you know?"

When Perry looks up, Heinz had donned a poorly executed scowl. It makes him smile. "Reminding me about the good things. Call me nice, I mean. That's not right. It's ruining my street cred."

The idea of Heinz having a street cred makes him laugh, and even if he does not enjoy most of the actual talking for now, this was nice. Laughing together, and being able to communicate, thoroughly and well, what exactly he adored of his best friend, uninhibited of Heinz's own self-esteem issues.

I love you, Perry wants to say, desperately. He wants to say it more than anything in the world, but even with all the communicative technology at his disposal, he is still hesitant, still scared, of putting his vulnerability into words.

Later, he keeps telling himself. Soon. Eventually. He reaches out to hold Heinz's hand in his own, leadened with all the words he can't bring himself to say.

Heinz smiles, and squeezes like he understands him anyway. Like Perry would have all the time in the world.

It can wait.

[winchesterwild78]

Behind the Scenes pt 8

Master List 

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: fluff, quick moment of Smut (I mean come on, it is a wedding.), then more sweetness

A/N: The wedding is here! Please enjoy this last chapter. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, with a slight time jump*

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes 

This is my original work, do not take it. 

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Time Jump 9 months*

“Jens, can you get Tristan ready? I need to take a quick shower before we head out.” You called from the bedroom. Jensen walked into Tristan’s nursery and looked at his 9 month old son. Tristan sat up in his crib and held his arms up “daadaa”. Tristan looked at Jensen and smiled. “Hey little man. How was your nap?” Tristan babbled as Jensen picked him up. 

Jensen walked him over to the changing table and started to change him. “We’ve gotta get you looking handsome. Mommy and Daddy are getting married tomorrow so tonight we get to see Nana, Poppop, Grammy and Pawpaw and the rest of the family. Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen will be there too.”  Jensen continued talking as he got Tristan ready. 

You finished getting ready and walked past the nursery and stopped to watch Jensen. These past 9 months have been incredible, Jensen and you were in awe of how fast Tristan was growing, the two of you planned your wedding and you had both gone back to work on the show. 

You were thankful you were able to take Tristan with you and he was even featured in a few episodes as Lilah’s and Sam’s son. The studio was incredible and so accommodating. Your wedding came in the middle of the shooting schedule, but there was a planned week break starting two days before the wedding. Misha had taken an online class to become ordained so he could perform your ceremony. Everything was falling into place.

Jensen, Tristan and you arrived at the ceremony location to do the rehearsal. Misha pulled you aside to talk to you about a surprise you two had been working on for Jensen. “Hey, Y/N, just wanted to let you know everything is good to go.” You smiled and thanked him. 

Jensen’s brother and Jared were going to be standing with him for the ceremony. You had asked your best friend, Y/F/N, and Gen to stand up with you. 

Jared and Gen’s oldest, Tom, was asked to help Tristan down the aisle in his wagon. He loved the idea. The other two, Shep and Odette were in the wedding too. 

You stood at the end of the aisle waiting for your cue. You walked towards Jensen and the rehearsal continued. Misha talked about some of the things he was going to say tomorrow and what to expect.

 Once the rehearsal was done everyone gathered for some food and fun. Tristan was getting fussy so you took him outside for some air. Jensen followed you out. “Hey, Y/N, is everything okay with him?” “Yeah, I think he’s just partied out. Too much excitement for one day.” You smiled and kissed Tristan’s head. Jensen wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. “I’ll let Mom know, I know she’s probably getting tired too.” You smiled and nodded.

Jensen’s parents were taking Tristan for the next two nights, so you can rest before tomorrow and you and Jensen can have time alone on your wedding night. You were incredibly thankful for them. 

A few minutes later Jensen’s parents came out with him to get Tristan. You kissed him goodnight and hugged your in-laws. When they were gone you stayed outside for a few more minutes with Jensen. He was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. 

“Whatcha thinking about sweetheart?” “Just this past year. It’s been a crazy, wonderful ride. I got an awesome job, met an incredible man, had his baby, and now we are getting married. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream.” You looked over your shoulder and smiled at him. “I’m glad it isn’t a dream. I love you and Tristan so much. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He kissed your neck and led you back inside. “Are you all set to stay at Jared’s tonight?” Jensen nodded, and you pouted. “Hey, it’s only for one night.” He smiled and lifted your chin. Jensen leaned down, capturing your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. You moaned a little and he deepened the kiss. “Okay guys, break it up. Save it for the honeymoon.” Jared yelled from across the room. 

You blushed and Jensen laughed. “I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Jensen.” “Let me walk you to your car, sweetheart.” Jensen placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you outside. 

The air was thick with excitement and anticipation. You leaned into his chest, taking in his scent. He always smelled amazing, even after time at the gym. You breathed deeply and his large arms pulled you into a tight embrace. He kissed the top of your head. The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, just holding each other. You nor he wanted to let go. 

“Baby, I don’t want to leave, but we both need our rest. I’d hate to take pictures tomorrow and look like we haven’t slept in a year.” You slowly pulled yourself from his arms. Jensen held your hand as he walked you around to the driver’s side of your car. He opened the door and you climbed in. Jensen leaned down and into the car, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Text me when you get home.” “I love you too, Jens, and I will.”

He closed your door and you left, heading back to your empty home. When you walked inside you took out your phone and sent Jensen a text.

You: I’m home, babe. Door is locked and I’m heading to bed soon.

Jensen: I’m glad you made it home, we just got back to Jared’s house. I’m heading to bed soon too. I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow, my love.

You: I can’t wait either. I love you, Jensen Ross Ackles!!

Jensen: I love you too, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, soon to be Mrs. Ackles! ❣️

You: You’re adorable. Good night baby

Jensen: I know I am. 😀 Good night to you too.

You got ready for bed and climbed into your bed. You were exhausted but had a hard time falling asleep. You finally laid on Jensen’s pillow and were able to drift off to sleep.The sound of your phone ringing woke you up early the next morning. It was Gen. 

“Hello” you said sleepily. “Hey! Are you up?” Gen gleefully asked. “I am now.” You yawned. “Girl, I'll be there in 5 minutes to help you start getting ready. I’m so excited.” You smiled and got up. You took a look in the mirror and smiled. 

“Today is the day you finally become Mrs. Jensen Ackles.” You took a deep breath and went downstairs. Gen knocked on the door and you let her in. “Go take a shower, and I’ll make you some breakfast.” She smiled. You hugged her and went upstairs to take a shower. Before you got in the shower a text message came through.

Jensen: Good morning my beautiful bride. I’m counting the hours until we say “I do”

You: Good morning my handsome husband. I am too. I’ll be the one at the end of the aisle in the dress with the flowers.

Jensen: I can’t wait to see your dress, and then take it off of you. I missed you sleeping in my arms last night.

You: You’re bad. 😊 I missed you too. I’m jumping in the shower. I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you.

Jensen: I am too. I love you too.

You jumped in the shower letting the warm water envelop you. Once you got out you threw on some comfy clothes and went  downstairs. Gen had just finished making breakfast and coffee. You sat down and smiled, thanking her for cooking. The two of you ate and talked. “Once we finish eating we should head to the venue to start getting you ready and get your pictures taken before the ceremony.” You nodded and finished your coffee and food. 

About an hour later you and Gen were on your way to the venue. You walked in the bridal suite and saw your dress hanging and waiting for you. The people you hired to do your hair and makeup had arrived shortly after you. They were actually the hair and makeup team for Supernatural. You told them you didn’t trust anyone else to do your hair and makeup for your wedding than them. 

A few hours later you were ready and your dress was on. Standing in the bridal suite you were fidgeting nervously when there was a knock at the door. Gen walked over to answer it and it was Jared. Jared stepped in “You look beautiful, Y/N.” He pulled you in for a hug. “Jensen asked me to give you this.” He handed you a small box wrapped with a bow. You thanked him and smiled. You opened the box and it was a gold heart shaped locket. You opened it and on one side was a picture of Jensen and the other was a picture of Tristan. On the back was engraved “All Our Own”. 

You put it on and touched it. You handed Jared a small bag and told him it was for Jensen. He hugged you and left the room. Jared walked in the room where Jensen was and smiled. “She’s absolutely beautiful, man. She loved the locket and asked me to give you this.” Jared handed Jensen the bag. Jensen opened it and found a beautiful pocket watch. He opened it up and saw a picture of you holding Tristan. On the back you had engraved “All Our Own”. Jensen chuckled and showed Jared. 

Jared laughed “Great minds, huh.” “Well, it’s time to start the ceremony. Are you ready Jens?” “Yes, more than ready.” 

Jensen, Jared and Jensen’s brother walked out and down the aisle. As they walked they greeted everyone and Jensen thanked them for coming. The next surprise that you had planned was about to show up. You had Gen recording, because you wanted to see Jensen’s reaction. 

Misha walked out to stand at the front and laughter erupted in the venue. Jensen turned and started laughing his deep laugh. Misha was dressed in his Castiel costume. You and Misha had decided “The Angel of the Lord” should perform the ceremony. 

Gen walked back to you and told you Jensen and everyone loved it. You smiled and grabbed your flowers. After everyone walked down the aisle it was your turn. You took a deep breath and stepped out. Looking forward and directly at Jensen. His green eyes sparkled with tears and his face beamed as you walked closer. 

When you got to the end of the aisle you handed your bouquet to Gen, and took Jensen’s hands. He leaned over and said “You are absolutely breathtaking. I am the luckiest man alive.” He gently kissed your cheek. 

Misha performed the ceremony in Cass’ voice, and added some jokes in. At the end of the ceremony Misha said “By the power vested in me by the internet and Chuck, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jensen, you may now kiss your bride…again.” Jensen leaned you back and kissed you. As the two of you turned Misha announced “It is my pleasure to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Jensen Ackles.”

The two of you walked back up the aisle to cheers and applause. Jensen led you back to the bridal suite and shut the door. As soon as the door was shut Jensen leaned you up against it and placed a deep passionate kiss on your lips. His hands slid up the bodice of your dress and cupped your breast. You were moaning into his mouth. “God I missed you sweetheart, I can’t wait. I need you now!” Jensen growled. He reached over and locked the door. “Jensen, if you mess up my hair before our pictures our families will kill you.” You laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t”, he smirked. You clenched your thighs together at that look in his eye. 

Jensen pulled you away from the door and laid you on the couch. He lifted your dress up and slid down your panties. “I need you right now, please.” Jensen looked at you with lust filled eyes. You bit your lip and nodded. His hand disappeared under your dress, finding your sweet spot. You moaned and bucked your hips. His fingers inserted into your wetness and he made you cum so fast you didn’t have time to process what happened. 

You leaned up and kissed him and started to unbuckle his pants. He had already discarded his suit jacket. He removed his hardened length and you leaned over the couch. Jensen lifted your dress up and slid in you from behind. He bottomed out fast and you both let out a moan. His hips moved fast. His thighs slamming into the back of yours as his hands gripped your hips. 

There was a knock on the door, it was Jared. “Hey guys, we need you for pictures.” “We’re kinda busy right now, we’ll be out in a minute.” Jensen yelled back. You giggled and Jared yelled “Damn, brother, couldn’t wait?” You were too focused on Jensen to worry if Jared was still at the door. 

Jensen’s thrusts got faster and you felt him pulse as he filled you with his seed with a grunt. He pulled out and quickly grabbed a towel for you. He didn’t want anything to ruin your dress. After you were clean, he cleaned himself up. You giggled as you fixed your dress and he pulled on his pants. “God that was great, Y/N. I missed you so much!” Jensen kissed your lips and you smiled. “Come on baby, let’s go before Jared breaks down the door.” The two of you walked out of the room hand in hand. A few people looked at you and smirked, but most of them ignored you. Once pictures were done, it was time for the reception. 

During the reception, food and drink were endless and the dancing was fantastic. It was time for your and Jensen’s dance. He took you by the hand and led you to the dance floor. The song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes played as the two of you swayed together. Jensen twirled you near the end of the song and as you came back into his arms, he dipped you kissing your lips and whispered “I’ll always love you, Mrs. Ackles, now and forever.” You placed your head on his chest and replied “And I’ll always love you, Mr. Ackles, now and forever.”

The End

Tags: @nescaveckdaily  @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter

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@hobby27 @manicjk @stoneyggirl2 @1-read-the-hobbit-in-1937

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello there lovely Fandom. Three eps in already what a trip. Once again did my best to keep this brief, concise but hitting on stuff as I watched it. Given up on the gif library till the summer so just my handmade ones till then ha lets get going.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

Mmmm hello jammy's Tim I love you so. Asking her if she’s slept at all? Looking too damn attractive leaning against her door frame. She also looks adorable in her morning attire as well. Poor Lucy so stressed about the oral exam and friggin Primm. What a dick throwing out her cookies.

God I love Tim trying so hard to control her spiral about it. Saying she can only control herself. Trying to pry the highlighter away LOL He is giving her solid advice and she just isn’t about it lmao Poor man. I get it when I’m in my own anxious neurosis I’m same way as Lucy.

Tim tapping out knowing she won’t take a break. Knowing a lost cause when he sees one. I love her only doing so when he gives up. Chasing after her man and the shower he’s gonna take. Heh Hello shower sex. Welcome back. That’s a good break Lucy haha I'm jealous. Mmmm Tim is a glorious study break and stress reliever. I can't wait for the fic's spawned out of this moment.

How did Lucy end up in a room with Smitty practicing her oral exam? LOL He doesn’t have the worst idea about Primm have to say....Tim getting distracted by Lucy’s practicing with Smitty in the other room when he should be focusing. Loved this.

Knowing he needs to intercede when he can but barks at Celina to set up the shop first. Yum. Smitty giving her the details on Primm lmao Lucy getting excited cause she’s a dog person too haha Me too Luce me too. Tim interrupting asking WTF is going on? I’m dying.

Smitty says he’s helping her with her exam. So proud of himself. Tim asking her if this falls in line with not over preparing? It does not... Lucy deflecting saying it's Smitty though. Lmao poor guy. Tim forcing her to take a break with him and Celina. Love this. The birth charts comment oh Timothy I love you so much.

Heh I’m going to love this trio I can already tell. Also Tim saying ‘Juarez’ getting me all in my feels. God will always love Eric’s inflection makes me all feral. Lucy watching from the back seat with affectionate heart eyes. This is gonna be good.

Lucy of course brings up Aaron and how awkward it currently is. Tim immediately pulling over and scolding her I’m rolling. Lucy isn’t wrong he didn’t say boys LOL Be more married you two my god. Adoring this ep so much. Getting back to their banter in this one and I'm here for it.

Mmm loving that Metro Call sign. Idk why it's so attractive to me but it is. Love Tim and Lucy side-barring about this dude and his "Amnesia." They are Co-T.O.'ing in this episode and I'm loving sfm. Also always love me a height difference shot. Look at them. Good stuff.

Tim’s being utterly over this guy is hilarious as they interview him. (Lack of person space too. Forever love this) Eric killing with the expressions per usual. Lucy of course has the reins for this interview cause Tim wants to pop this guy ha. Classic Tim/Lucy. She is the empathetic one and Tim is doubtful af. 'Grumpy x Sunshine 'at it's finest in this moment.

It is delightful to watch Lucy tag along while he’s in T.O. mode. She is enjoying herself haha The heart eyes as she watches him in action making my shipper heart happy. Although her stepping in when he’s sweating Celina is too hilarious. God I love we are in this place with them. She can step in and gives Celina a break and Tim won't eat her.

Then she continues on to give him crap for not giving her any praise. Wifey being extra wifey in this moment. Oh my word their banter after Celina leaves. My heart. ‘Have I not softened you at all?’ Oh you have Lucy. The man went from granite to butter. Just continually shows you Lucy was always different. He doesn't treat any other boot like he did her.

Oh my god he looks sinfully delicious getting dressed while she’s waking up. Scruffy and in a black shirt. I’m fanning myself. Oh my lord. I wanna climb that man like a damn tree. Those buttons are meant to be ripped apart and off him. Phew lord. What a view to wake up to. Also never be over him just always having stuff at her place. Basically living together *screams into pillow* That sweet smile of his too good lord I'm faint. God he loves her so much. Just exudes out of this man in the smallest ways like this.

That black shirt he’s buttoning up mmmm making all kinds of feral with seeing part of his chest. He is so confident as he speaks about her resting. No regrets letting her sleep in. I bet you he watched her sleep for a bit before getting ready fully*happy sigh*. My god the looks he gives her when she thanks him. I cannot. This was such a lovely moment till she gets a text her test was in 20 minutes…..

Poor Lucy of course she’s the last one in. This made me so angry to watch her waiting. Hate this Primm putz so much. Stresssssssss watching this entire scene. Oh my lord. Hate Lucy having to defend herself to this prick. Of course he brings up the 6x01 crime scene bleh. I think she defended herself pretty well IMO. I was on edge and anxious as I watched this unfold. Feeling sick for her and angry too. Her career has been exemplary. Wanted to protect her from this absolute BS assault on her.

This scene GUTTED me. The music plus Melissa's expression I wanted to cry for her. Hug her. I knew when Grey walked up it wasn't good news. Ughhhhhhhh 17 blooody 17... I'm so angry for her it’s insane. What a shit Primm is. Like that man didn't benefit from that 5 player trade she did. My rage knows no bounds for her in this moment. Melissa's conveying so much in this moment. Well done madam. Nolan gets everything handed to him she fights tooth and nail and gets screwed for helping the man she loves out. I’m livid for her. Sure the depths of my anger will be more detailed in my summer review. For now I want punt Primm into the sun.

17th sucks a lot. If that score is combined with her written. Maybe she did over prepare. Or it's a mixture of that and her Oral not going well due to Primm. Either way it sucks. I will say I love this puppy of a man. He wrote a 7 on the award afterwards. Just to make her laugh. My damn heart. Upped his romantic game so much for her. He got this BEFORE she passed. So convinced she would be number one.

Look at the smile on Tim's face as he hands her it. He's so happy he's made her laugh. Even before they were together he always took it upon himself to make her feel better. He has sharpened that skill ten fold since they got together. Her Metro joke is cute haha Joking right back feeding off his energy. Love this. Look at her at the start of the scene and the end of this portion. He got her in a much better mood.

I love how sincere he is when he says yes he thought she’d be first. Of course he did. He believes in her SO MUCH. Why the lie detector got it wrong in that regard. This man loves you so much Lucy. She doesn't have an ounce of regret for that 5 player trade. Not once has she voiced that or hinted at that. In this moment all she can think about is how she disappointed him. The sweet kiss after he tells Lucy she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch* How far we’ve come people. Still blows me away. Lucy saying how cute the award is. It really is.

God damn I love how this relationship has made Tim so adorably romantic and soft. He's her marshmallow. Tim is so proud of himself for doing good with this. I’m beaming from how cute this moment is. The heart eyes as she tells him he did a good job. I’m dying. Friggin love this ship so much everyone. Makes my heart so happy he’s there to pick up the pieces. Makes her smile and laugh after a crushing defeat. Look at this goober of a man. Getting her to laugh and lifting her up at the same time. It’ll be interesting to see where Lucy goes after this.

Sucks she was sabotaged but a new career path might not be worst idea? I feel slightly relieved this SL of the exam has gotten its conclusion. Might not be the one we wanted for her...but I am excited to see where this goes for her career wise. It's Lucy whatever she puts her mind to she will dominate. I do love this final scene so much. How much lighter I felt after it. Gave me all the feels in best way. Look at our babies figuring out life together. I love them so much. Sucks we won't have anything for 3 friggin weeks but I understand with only having ten eps to play with.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Gonna be real honest could care less bout Nolan and his honeymoon. Snooze fest nation. Never been a huge Bailey fan. I was always a Grace fan personally.... Also them touching everything without gloves WTF LOL

Poor Aaron and Celina so awkward. Hope they inch back toward their original friendship.

Only good thing about their honeymoon is Harper and Angela showing up like BAMF's.

Love Grey checking in with Tim about Lucy and Celina. Their friendship is a dark horse. I love it when we get it. Underrated gem.

[lildashofheaven1]

‘Forever’

Joseph Quinn x female actress y/n

The big Dayyyy

“Y/n!! Y/n wake upp!” My bridesmaid yells as she launches herself on my bed.

“Im up im up” i responded.

I looked around the room to see all my bridesmaids stood around with the happiest grins on their faces.

Maya (my maid of honor) sat next to me on the hotel rooms bed.

“You excited?”

“Of course i am! Marrying the man of my dreams” i responded, finally waking up fully.

After having room service delivered we were all getting our hair and make up done, obviously me being the bride i was sat right in front of the large windows having my bridemaids around me bringing me champagne etc.

After we had gotten ready we all got dressed and sat together for a while until.

“Knock knockk” i heard said from the other side of my door.

I opened it to see jamie (my best friend) smiling at me.

“How are you feeling love?” He asked me

“Amazing! I cant wait to be Mrs Y/n Quinn” i grinned at him.

He looked at me, full glam and in a wedding dress

“You look lovely y/n, im so proud of you”

We sat around and chatted for a while until one of my bridesmaids made a dumb joke about him running last minute.

“Fuck off” i brushed it off.

“You have no clue how josephs been acting, omg look” jamie said as he got his phone out.

He started playing the video.

“Shes just so amazing isnt she though, like you can say it mate. She so beautiful, and kind and sweet and i cant believe i convinced her to marry me” joseph said as he stood in front of the mirror fixing his tie.

“Yeah she certainly is something mate” jamie responded sat on the bed in josephs hotel room

“I dont think we have to worry about him running” jamie giggled

“Right i best be off to calm down the groom”jamie added as he stood.

I gave him a hug before he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood at the entrance of the wedding, brushing down my dress, all my bridesmaids had been down already and all were waiting for me.

The instrumental of ‘Make you feel my love’ by Adele started playing as i stood at the end of the aisle.

I saw at the other end of the aisle, the love of my life stood with his eyes already watering which only got worse as he locked eyes with me.

I began walking down the aisle while linking arms with my father.

I was about four steps away from joseph to see him look into my eyes and whisper “i love you so much”

My eyes started watering, this is so sureal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And now joseph your vows to y/n” the preist smiles at him as he gets a piece of paper out of his pocket and take a deep breathe before saying.

“Y/n, i cant believe today is happening, it feels like yesterday jamie introduced us to each other and i knew from the second i met you… that you were the girl for me, i cant see my future in any way that hasnt got you in it, i am forever going to choose to share my happiness with you, every part of you i love, and i will always love. You are my every dream come true and i cant wait to cherish our lives together”

He looks up from his paper to suck in a breathe and look around, i reached to the pockets in my dress and pulled out a tissue and wiped his eyes gently before he continued.

“I am yours, forever and always and i am so honoured that you chose me to share your life with, because of you i am slowly but surely becoming the person i always dreamed of being. I will fight with you and for you, and i will forever be open to any challenges we may face as we will face them together”

He took a pause and giggled slightly before continuing.

“I promise to never watch an episode on netflix without you, no matter how much it tempts me.I promise to unclog the drains even though your the only one of us with long hair. I promise to make you a bacon sandwich whenever your hungover, additionally, i promise to not open the curtains, turn the light on or deliberately clatter when your hungover. I promise that if it ever comes down to choosing between you and the dog, ill let you down gently. I promise to always notice when you get a hair cut. I promise ill always let you try my food even though i told you to order your own. I promise to open jars for you and say that you loosened it for me and most of all i promise to love you, all of you for the rest of time”

Throughout this part i had been giggling along with the guests to how well he knows me and even though my eyes were flooding i still smiled up at him.

I took a deep breathe as i got the piece of paper out of the pocket of my dress.

“Joe, i cannot believe i am standing in front of the most beautiful, kind and understanding man and am about to say i do. Thank you for being there whenever i need you, thank you for being the person i can run to when i feel sad and in need of a shoulder to cry on. But most of all thank you for loving the parts of me that aren’t easy to love. I remember our first date, in a run down little pub in south london, and while i was sat there pretending i liked watching rugby and you brought me a drink over with that cheeky little grin of yours, i knew in that moment that you were the man i was going to spend the rest of my life with”

“Since we’ve been together Ive never felt unloved or unwanted and i never want that to change. I promise to love you and care for you until my dying breath, i vow to always stand beside you through thick and thin, to always hold your hand through every challenge we face and to support you in whatever you choose to do. For us, home isnt a place but a person and i think we’re both finally home”

I paused to wipe my eyes and look up above before carrying on

“I can only thank you for putting up with me because im a mess all the time and im so grateful to have you with me, when you met me i was a broken vase and you took the time to lovingly glue me back together, i love you so much joey, all of you, forever and always. I love you for all the reasons you dont love yourself and i can only hope to raise your self esteem so that you can see yourself the way i see you. My love for you will never falter and i cannot wait to take on the rest of our lives together, i love you joseph”

After our vows, both of us aswell as the majority of the guests were in floods of tears.

“Joseph Anthony Francis Quinn do you take y/n l/n to be your lawful wedded wife?” The priest says

“I do” joseph said while looking into my eyes

“And do you y/n m/n l/n take Joseph Anthony Francis Quinn to be your lawful wedded husband”

“I do” i said with a smile

“Then by the power vested in me i now pronounce you husband and wife, joseph you may now kiss your bride”

With that joseph held me close to him and kissed me, we kissed for around 20 seconds before breaking to look out at the cheering guests.

When we pulled away joseph whispered to my lips

“I cant wait to get you out of that dress later tonight”

I gasped and said

“Joseph we are in a church” we both giggled at his boyish charm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright Alright! Quieten down everyone its speech time!” Jamie stood from the long table we were on ( me and joe obvs, joes mum and dad and my parents, followed by Maya my maid of honore and jamie the best man)

“Now i did ask for a microphone however there wasnt one available so those in the back if the people in front of you arent laughing then that just reassures that your not missing out on much. So obviously i dont need to do a whole speech about how perfect these two are for each other, because just look at them, theyre like a pair of teenagers all over each other. I feel immense pride that i am the one who set these two up, y/n i remember working together on sweeney todd and i just knew we were going to be friends forever, and i am aware that sounds incredibly cheesey. And joe, my brother from another mother, like it or not your stuck with me for life. Your two are the ultimate power couple, and i am so happy for you both because your love is one to be envied” jamie got serious then looked down and laughed before saying

“Right enough from me, im gonna keep this speech like y/n short but funny, thank you everyone. To joseph and y/n!” Jamie toasted before raising his non alcoholic drink meaning everyone did the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joseph held his hand over mine and we slid the knife down to cut our beautiful wedding cake.

We had placed the slice on a plate and joseph grabbed a fork and got a bit of it and raised it to my mouth, i smiled up at him and ate the cake before smiling at him before saying

“Oh love its fucking gorgeous”

“And that is why i love you” he giggled before having some too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And now Joseph and y/n will take to the floor for their first dance!” Jamie announced through the microphone at our after party.

Joseph stood up from his chair and held his hand out for me, which i gladly accepted.

We got to the dance floor as our song began playing

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave?

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more.

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me.

I have loved you for a thousand years.

I'll love you for a thousand more

After our slow dance had ended everyone cheered and the next song played this one being

“Wonderwall”

To which everyone had joined us on the dance floor and we all jumped,sang and danced to the iconic song

“I love y/n” joseph said to me in my ear

“I love you more joseph” i said back

“Not possible” he responded with a smirk

[bengiyo]

We Are Better Together: Why I Enjoyed the Our Skyy 2 Crossover

I enjoyed this four-part special with every part of my being, but I’m a gay man in his thirties that often feels like I understand exactly where Aof is coming from in his work. As I’ve said many times on this block and in @the-conversation-pod, I desperately want more stories about gays sticking together alongside all of the stories about discovering love. For so many reasons, I love that Aof chose to use Pat and Pran as a catalyst to help Tian and Phupha, and in turn compare their relationship with another couple experiencing some of the same challenges lets them see themselves properly. I have a lot to say, so let’s just get into it.

Funding A Tale of Thousand Stars

There is no way Aof was going to be able to produce a Tale of Thousand Stars special without merging the Bad Buddy budget. If you start from the fundamental problem that it’s expensive to film on a mountain, we need to find a problem that works well. At the end of ATOTS, Tian and Phupha agree to stay in Pha Pun Dao together, but there’s no way that can work forever. Tian has medical needs and a family in Bangkok. We also never resolved the lingering doubts and uncertainty that plagued Phupha in the story, since we focused on Tian’s journey.

With Pat and Pran, they were set on their commitment to each other after episode 11. They are just hiding themselves in college, and won’t experience any changes without some form of outside stimulus. Likewise, Tian and Phupha live in a bubble. I love the idea of shoving these four men together and seeing what comes out of it.

Playing with Archetypes and Expectations

I particularly like Aof shoving these four characters together because it allows Aof to further poke at our expectation and assumptions about BL characters. Aof is aware of the cultural understanding around seme and uke archetypes, and the decision to style Pran to physically resemble Tian is not subtle. However, as we move through the special, we realize that Pran has more in common with Phupha than he does Tian. What a gift that is from, Aof.

Aof invites the viewers through Pran to consider where they sit as viewers in these stories. We are often asked to ride along with our primary viewpoint character and see the world through their lens. Sure, we can challenge their lens, and ask the audience to grow along with the character, but I truly love the way this story hands the lens over to Phupha as we move through this special. As a gay man in his thirties, I am particularly fond of Phupha and the decision to focus on him.

It is hard growing up the way some of us did. We don’t have BL experiences like the ones we fawn over in these shows. Life was hard. We suffered. Some of us are stuck performing a version of masculinity that we haven’t ever been able to unlearn. I continue to present normie because it’s what I was trained to do. I make use of it as the face of my local queer circle. I talk to the government when we need someone who won’t get ignored right away, just like Phupha dedicates himself to the people of his village.

We might expect Pat and Phupha to mirror each other because of their physicality, but that breaks almost instantly. They’re unlike each other. The first allusion to this comes in the reminder that Tian is an engineer, and so is Pat. Additionally, Phupha rejects Tian’s diary immediately because he only gives it a surface reading. It’s only once he gets to know Pran and Pat a bit, and really listens to what Tian is saying that he starts to wake up.

I personally loved seeing these characters get lost in the woods and spin around each other for an entire episode. The best thing you can do when you’re lose in the woods is stay where you are and wait for rescue to find you. Tian can’t do that, and honestly neither can Pat. The common thread between them is how antsy and foolish they can be. Tian went all the way up a mountain with a weak heart the way only a fool could. Pat rushed after Pran to the wilderness with barely a plan because all that matters is getting to Pran.

Like many of the baby gays we sometimes help with volunteering, I wish they would just sit still and let us find them. They’re in such a hurry to grow up and do all the big gay milestones that they’ve envisioned for themselves, but it just doesn’t work like that. Sometimes you have to just finish school and become financially independent. Sometimes you need to let your partner get the help they need and the right diagnosis to manage their neurotic behaviors. Sometimes you need to just having someone beg you to just sniff your boyfriend and get over yourself. Sometimes you need someone who actually understands the weight of internalized homophobia you carry validate that it’s hard. Sometimes you just need to accept that you are now a “we” and admit openly that you can’t live without each other.

You Blame the Rebel That You Sold Out

I’ve been thinking a lot about the instinct I’ve noticed to pick apart the creative team when people find they aren’t enjoying a show for some reason. I wrote about this first during The Eclipse, and I’m feeling it again here. As I said there, I’ll say here: It’s okay to say you didn’t like something and didn’t find this to be your taste.

I’m a lifelong Star Trek fan who can’t watch Lower Decks because I find American animation to rely on a loud quality that I find overstimulating. I also don’t appreciate Seth McFarlane’s brand of humor. I didn’t get into Star Trek: Prodigy because it’s aimed at kids in a way that I found a bit boring to engage with. I think Star Trek Picard is overall pretty bad and a waste of nostalgia. I still love Star Trek, and find things worth engaging with every time I sit down and watch new things.

I recently attended a Matchbox Twenty concert and have been thinking about the song “Rebels” from their new album Where the Light Goes. There’s a portion of the lyrics that I think best covers how I feel about this instinct to turn on the creators when they do something you don’t like with characters they created.

And it's all exciting You were so alive Like a wheel in motion You were terrified you'll lose it Hell, everybody loses It was never how you wanted Now it's never good enough We're all rebels when we're young I think it's time you let it go now When you get angry with yourself You blame the rebel that you sold out You blame the rebel that you sold out That you sold out Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now

It’s all fun and games when experiences are new to us. We’re excited to be in this new untested space for the first time, but we are all changed by it. We bring different lenses and experiences to the table. We take different things from the stories, and our tastes change because of these experiences. Then the creator comes back with a new season or new outing with these characters and they have different things they want to focus on this time. It’s not what we wanted, and so we turn on them. The only way out of that is to let go and see who you are now.

Aof is a gay man who is working at a major company to tell meaningful queer stories. Aof clearly knows that life is the future, not the past. He’s committed to bridging us to a better world for queer people so that we can see each other more.

We Are Better Together

I love that Pat and Pran met Tian and Phupha. I love that these characters made each other better in the brief week they spent together. I like that they became friends and expanded their queer circle. Your relationship is not the only component you need for stability in your life. You can get stuck in a rut. You need other people to talk to you. You need outlets for your frustration. You need friends to remind you that you’re being obnoxious, and maybe you should just have sex and see if the issue is still there.

Tian and Phupha were not at their best alone. Pat and Pran were not at their best alone. I love the idea of a lonely Pran looking for queer connection on the web and discovering Tian’s diary. I love the romantic notions he projected onto Tian and seeing them shattered by the intense physical reality of life in Pha Phun Dao, and his interactions with Phupha.

About ten years ago, we had a member of our circle who tried to view our group through the lens of Noah’s Arc, and he struggled with fact that we didn’t fit exactly. What a joy it is to realize that your own queerness is distinct in this world, and that you and your friends are special. Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars are BETTER for me now that they’ve touched each other.

I love that Phupha finally let Tian love him the way Tian wants to. I love that he let go of his concern about Tian’s wealth. I like that he let Tian’s parents see him properly and extend to love to him that he’s given their son. I like that he finally let’s them thank him for helping their son find stability and purpose, because Phupha maybe doesn’t appreciate how much of a fuck up Tian was being before the transplant. I love that Phupha found it in himself to propose to Tian. I love that Phupha let Tian take charge in the bedroom. I love that Phupha gave Pat and Pran the gift of sharing their love on a stage to adoring fans, and giving Wai a chance at redemption. Pran got to see people finally cheering for their love online.

I can’t claim to understand everyone’s frustrations with this special, and I won’t pretend to. However, I wanted to say quite plainly that as a gay viewer who has appreciated Aof’s work for years, I was particularly touched by this crossover. I don’t care about the balance other seem concerned about between Pat and Pran. I don’t care about how much they did or didn’t talk. All I know is that since episode 5 of Bad Buddy, Pat has shown that he’s all in on Pran and has never waivered. I like that so much of this special was about Pran finally accepting the way Pat loves him, just like Phupha learned to accept the way Tian loves him.

It really is as simple as the final sequence for Pat and Pran for me. It’s Pat asking if they can finally kiss and Pat and Pran again and finally getting that, Pa interruptions and everything.

So, I hope everyone finds peace with reactions to this special. I am completely satisfied, and excited to see what Aof wants to say next in Last Twilight, despite my reservations about Jimmy.

[rockingrobin69]

Insistently, Stickily Sweet

It started raining outside, a constant patter hitting the window, tap-tap-tapping away merrily. Inside, cocooned under a thick blanket, only a smattering of blond hair and the tip of a nose visible: “Is it finished,” a husk of a voice. He’d fallen asleep sometime during the second episode. Harry didn’t have the heart to wake him.

“Yes, sweetheart. Shall we call it a night?”

“No,” grumbling, fighting tooth and nail to free an arm, then another: emerging from the fuzzy material all mussed-up and bright, and lovely. “No, we said we’d watch them all.”

“Darling,” laughing, “you can’t even keep your eyes open.”

Draco stuck his nose up, the gesture slightly ruined for the pink of his cheeks. “I don’t need to see it to follow. Quiz me, on any part. I’ll tell you exactly what happened.”

“Oh no, I believe you,” Harry said quickly, half an excuse to wrap his arms around him, to press a mollifying kiss to his cheek. Pulling closer: “Come on, baby. This is stupid, and it’s getting late. Let’s go to bed.”

“No,” Draco still insisted, although he burrowed into him, leaned his head back. “Come on, press the button-thing. I have to know what, ah, Monica said to—Jerome.”

“Not even close,” Harry chuckled. “Did you catch any of it?”

“Of course. I caught it all. Come on, Harry, we’re not getting any younger, and I will not be the one to let our friends know we haven’t—argh!” when Harry grabbed him, “stop, stop, you goon, ah, the—fuck, Harry, with the tickling, have you no shame, a man comes to you vulnerable in half-sleep and you torture him, ah, ha, stop, stop!”

The words becoming shriekier and shriekier, delivered directly in his ear, and Draco was squirming in his arms, was too—an exhale, slightly shaky on how much, on how terribly much… buried his head in Draco’s neck, in the tacky warmth and the smell of the blanket and Draco’s shampoo.

“You’re impossible,” Harry said, muffled into his skin.

“I know,” with a smile so thick in his voice it was honey, it was gold. “So, what do you say. Another episode, no? Come on. Be a good boy for me, we both know you want to.”

“God, shut up,” just as it occurred to him: I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this man. The rest of his life. It felt bigger than a Wednesday-night, past eleven, Chinese takeout still sitting on dirty plates and re-runs of a silly 90’s comedy series on the telly. This, his Draco, with fluff from the blanket in his wild hair: it was so much bigger than anything he could have imagined.

“Fine,” helplessly, “one more. But just the one, Draco, I mean it. And then we go to bed.”

“Deal,” he smiled easily. Too easily: they’ll have the exact same argument when the episode’s over. Draco was a menace and Harry couldn’t wait.

Smugly, “Pansy will not be able to say she’s more well-versed in Muggle culture than I am.” Draco tucked himself under his arm, grumbled until he had the other one wrapped around him. Then the blanket, to cover them both, then his feet on the table, right in front of Harry’s face, obscuring half the screen. “All right?”

Breathing in deep: “Yeah, all right.” Pressed the remote control, and the sound of canned-laughter filled the living room.

Outside, the rain was still pouring, a continuous happy song Harry’s heart echoed. Inside, it was Wednesday, they both were so tired, and over-warmed, and massively, stickly, stupidly happy.

(Flufftober day 2. Find the soft AO3 collection here).

[mickimagnum]

Devin's Dude Ranch: Episode Ten

*the episode opens with a shot of Echo Valley Ranch. The sun has just set and crickets can be heard singing in the background.*

Devin, in the diary room: "Today is our second group date and I'm so excited to spend more time with my four guys tonight. They're all still here because I still want to get to know them and events like tonight are the perfect chance to do just that. I'm hoping they're going to be able to cut a little loose."

*the next shot opens with the contestants lined up. they're waiting for Devin in the backyard. she approaches and they all greet her with smiles*

Devin: "Hi guys!"

Devin (continues): "Wow, you all look so nice tonight. I can't believe I get to spend another evening with you fine gentleman."

*the contestants grin and chuckle softly*

Devin (continues): "For tonight's group date, I thought we could cut a little loose with a backyard hoedown. What do you fellas say?"

*the group cheers in reply*

Devin: "Alright then, let's party!"

*the next scene opens with Devin sitting at the bar, joined by the contestants*

*Devin sips at her glass of nectar while Albert looks on, a smile playing at the corners of his lips*

Albert: "So, how was your day," *pauses and tips his invisible cowboy hat* "darlin'?"

*Devin chuckles and shakes her head*

Devin: "It was good. Just a typical, busy day. Worked the horses. Did some nectar business. Although, I did actually have time to go for a jog this afternoon which was nice. What about yours, cowboy?"

*Albert makes a show out of pausing to ponder*

Albert: "Also busy. I hung out with these goons all day," *motions to the other contestants* "and...thought about you nonstop."

*Devin grins ear to ear*

Devin: "Is that a fact?"

Albert: "Yes. Admittedly, you're all I've been able to think about since I've gotten here."

*Devin blushes and tries to hide it behind her hand*

*After a beat, she recovers, leans forward and asks:*

Devin: "And what exactly were you thinking about?"

*Albert grins, leans closer to her, and they lock eyes*

Albert: "Well, I'd love to tell you, but I'm sure these guys don't want to here it," *glances around at the other contestants* "Why don't you come dance with me and I can tell you?"

*Devin nods as a smile breaks out across her face*

Devin: "Deal."

*the next scene opens with Albert and Devin slow dancing out on the dance floor. They are gazing at each other intensely and smiling.*

Devin: "So tell me. What thoughts have been going through that beautiful, twisted mind of yours?"

*Albert chuckles*

Albert: "Twisted?"

Devin: "You heard me."

*Devin winks at him and the pair share a laugh*

Albert: "Well. I think about that first night, and how natural it felt to have you in my arms. How right it felt. I think about your brown eyes...a lot. And your laugh. Man, I love the sound of your laugh. I think about how amazing it would be to have a life with you, from the crazy adventures we'd have to just waking up next to you every morning. But, mostly, I think about how I can get more time with you, because honestly, it feels like the air I'm breathing right now."

*The camera cuts to Devin. Her eyes are shining and she is smiling widely*

Devin: "Albert...I had no idea you felt that way. That has got to be one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me."

*Albert suddenly scoops Devin up. She wraps her arms around his shoulder and they hold intense eye contact*

Albert: "Oh, I do. Maybe I should let you in on a little secret."

Devin: "And what's that?"

Albert: "I'm f*bleep*ing crazy about you."

*Devin smiles and leans forward to kiss him.*

*The camera zooms in to Stan standing in the background watching. His face is etched in anger.*

Albert (in diary room): "What a night. I opened up to Devin about my feelings for her and I feel like it took our relationship to the next level. And she kissed me....best kiss of my life too. These other guys better watch out. I'm not leaving without my girl."

*the next scene opens with Devin and all of the contestants dancing to modern ranch music; all except Stan who can been seen drinking heavily at the bar with a dark look on his face*

Houston: "What do you mean you've never read The Grapes of Wrath?"

Devin: "Don't judge me, mister. I'm admittedly not a huge reader. I don't have time."

*Houston acts wounded*

Houston: "But you have that beautiful library upstairs!"

*Devin chuckles*

Devin: "I do. And I would love to read the books I have in it but alas."

Houston: "I think I know a solution."

*Devin looks at him puzzled*

Devin: "Now you've got me curious."

Houston: "You're too busy to read, so why don't I read to you? I'll be your living audio book. I can read some to you every night before we go to bed."

*Devin pauses a moment as a smile spreads across her face*

Devin: "I think I love this idea."

*Houston smiles back at her*

Houston: "We can start with The Grapes of Wrath. It's a classic and I think you'll love it."

Houston (in diary room): *stares at the floor for a moment before a smile begins to spread on his face. he then looks directly into the camera*

"I think I'm falling in love with Devin."

Stan (ranting to bartender): "Ya know, I don't even know why I'm here. I mean, I came to find love, but it's like competing with a pack of wolves. It's f*bleep*ing ridiculous. I'm too old for this s*bleep*."

*Stan drinks deeply from his mug of beer*

*The camera cuts to Handra and Devin, who can be seen embracing each other, both smiling deeply*

Handra: "I've missed you. Is it too early to admit that?"

*Devin chuckles*

Devin: "Never. I've missed you, too. Your presence...it calms me. You make me feel safe."

*Handra smiles down at her*

Handra: "You're always safe with me, Devin."

*She bites her lower lip and blushes. After a pause she says:*

Devin: "Wanna swing?"

*Handra grins*

*the pair can then be seen swinging, giggling, and talking indistinctly*

*After Handra and Devin get done swinging, he takes her hands and looks into her eyes*

Handra: "I just wanna say, Devin, anytime I spend time with you, I feel like the luckiest man alive. I love how genuine you are to yourself, and with others. You inspire me."

*Devin smiles*

Devin: "I love spending time with you too. I think we get along so well because you are also a really genuine person. It's a rare quality."

Handra: "That it is."

*His eyes sparkle at Devin and she can't help but keep smiling up at him*

Handra (in diary room): "Being with Devin just makes me happy. I really hope she feels the same way about me. And I want us to keep making each other happy. That's all I got to say."

*Devin sits down next to Stan and greets him with a big smile*

Devin: Hi there, stranger. You've been awfully quiet tonight. Everything alright?"

*Stan glances up at her*

Stan: "Just haven't had the energy to claw my way through the wolfpack tonight for your attention."

*Devin cocks an eyebrow at Stan*

Devin: "The wolfpack, huh?"

*Stan shrugs*

Stan: "Everyone's fighting for your attention all the time. That's what it feels like. We're wolves circling prey. You're a prize to be won." *he looks down at his drink* "It's exhausting."

*Devin studies him for a moment*

Devin: "Is it the competition that's bothering you or that you don't feel like you're getting enough time with me."

*Stan snorts*

Stan: "Hell, both, if I'm being honest."

*Devin looks slightly annoyed as she rests both hands on the bar. She takes a deep breath before speaking*

Devin: "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm doing my best to spend time with everyone. It is certainly challenging. But, this is a two-way street, Stan. You have to put in effort, too. You said you don't feel like you've gotten enough time with me, but also said you don't feel like 'clawing your way' through the others. This is, unfortunately, what we all signed up for. So, do you see my problem? I mean, which is it? Do you want to spend time with me or not? I'm going to do my part, but can I count on you to do yours? I guess that's my question."

*Stan clenches his jaw as he eyes her, choosing his next words carefully*

Stan: "I'm not sure this arrangement is for me. This whole thing is more difficult than I bargained for."

*Devin looks stunned*

Devin: "So, are you saying you want to leave?"

Stan: "I'm not sure what I'm saying."

*Stan abruptly gets up from the bar*

Stan: "I need some time to think."

*he then turns and skulks into the house, leaving a stunned Devin still sitting at the bar*

*the camera cuts to the other three contestants on the dancefloor, looking on in shock*

Handra: "Wait, is Stan leaving?"

*Stan can be seen in the bathroom, clinging to the sink while glaring into the mirror*

Stan (voiceover): "I'm so angry I want to smash everything in this room. I had no idea this was going to be this hard; seeing her with the other men. I'm not sure I can keep doing this. I'm going insane."

Devin (in diary room): "I'm so surprised at the way Stan behaved tonight. I mean, no, this is not an ideal situation for any of the contestants but it is what everyone signed up for. Yes, it's hard. But, we're all doing our best. Really, I'm disappointed in him for acting so...immaturely. If he decides to leave, I will be sad to see him go, but if he doesn't think I'm worth it, then maybe it's not worth the emotional investment. I don't know. I'm really confused righ now."

Stan (in diary room): "I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. On one hand, I really like her and I want to see what's there between us. On the other, I'm tired of competing with these other dudes, of seeing them with her. It's too hard. I hate it. I don't know what I'm going to do..."

Albert submitted by @bakersimmer Houston submitted by @invisiblequeen Handra submitted by @bloomingkyras James "Stan" submitted by @natolesims

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[zaacoy]

Hmhmhmmm in a silly mood and thinky thinkin about Tang Legomonkiekid again, some disjointed tang thoughts!! Because I can :3

Author's note after writing: another long post!!! I am incapable of talking about him without going on and on and on apparently, enjoy the novel!! hehehheehoo

so! The scorpion queen demoness outfit still has not left my brain!! I am plagued by the ourple apparently, just

why he so littol

microscopic organism

its like he's a cat getting picked up by the scruff!! those clothes are too big for he goddamn he!!

Also also! The buffet scene!! We get two wide shots of it

the first:

and the second:

assuming it isn't some sort of custom to have your servants(?) or whatever the ladies are in this scene leave once they set the table (if it is then feel to ignore this tidbit!! :D) Them being there in the first scene but not the second makes it seem like? Tang requested them to go and let him eat in peace without 7 different women watching him while doing so??? This man is invulnerable to women and I find that so funny all he wants are his noms

Adding onto that the fact that his first move when he wakes up to a pretty lady standing over him is to SCREAM and push her away is SO unbelievably funny could you be any gayer sir

also can we just appreciate how easily this man crumbled the second good food was put in front of him. after being kidnapped and abducted by some clearly suspicious demon lady he just. willingly stays, unbound physically in literally anyway, just because she has good food to offer. very very silly he is so funny

no additional comments just look at him

he is so scrunckly so silly, I forgor all of the other Tumblr silly words but he is all of those too

its nice that we got to see him come back in purple later tho in S4

It's a dustier purple for sure but it still looks pretty nice on him :3c

also also!!

I love this little training scene sm because it paints tang in such an interesting light

whereas pigsy and mei are borderline ready to jump sandy for that star all we get from Tang is a shaky "I want that", this difference is further exemplified in the coloration differences (mei and pigsy's eyes being red whereas Tang's are just whited out)

this trend continues as the training session goes on! here for example we can see mei and pigsy clearly furious whereas tang is just crying- they're all frustrated! It seems as though when Tang is confronted with the issue of "not being as good as his peers" he trends more towards upset rather angry unlike the rest of his friend group

This can also be seen in their individual trainings

Mei is outright violent in her training arc, both in regards to the props and opponents she fights and (verbally) to master Subodhi, pigsy is also fairly mouthy and standoffish at first and disregards whatever he perceives as an insult, but Tang on the other hand we get to see crumble a little bit. Rather then brushing off master Subodhi's gripes with him like the others Tang seems to take it to heart, getting visibly more and more miserable until he's able to turn himself around

It's a nice bit of characterization that I'm glad to see appear again, they've given him such a consistent, well written weakness I can't wait how it affects his performance in future episodes, be it for better or for worse heeheehoo

I ADORE how much this man loves food, he's so super enthusiastic about it in literally every season it is completely adorable

I also appreciate how they didn't turn it into his entire character!! Most of the food-loving characters I've known have their entire personality based around food which, while it can be joyful at times, is kind of boring and 2 dimensional imo. I enjoy how they made him a complete fully fleshed out person like everyone else who just so happens to really like nomnoms heeheehoo

looks at you with my autistic eyes

that expression is so goofy and the silly little noise he makes with it too uehhshdhhdj he is so sillay

love how he gets sparkles/shines in his eyes once he gets really excited about something or the "✨" shaped eyes

there are so many little things I love about him that NOBODY else talks about and it makes me so so sad where are my fellow insane-about-tang-lego-monkie-kid people where are uu 🥺 "let's take ibuprofen together" but it's "let's talk about a fictional Lego for hours" instead please plsss

cough- anyways uh- he has a bunch of little vocal quirks that I love so so much like!!

(I don't know how to get audio clips so you're just going to have to take my word for it ueue)

Often whenever he exclaims or screams he does so in a way that I don't know how to describe actually mmmmm instead of an "AAAAAH!" it's more akin to a "WHAhaHAA!" if that makes any sense, whatever that is it's such an interesting verbal quirk I love it very much.

He does something similar in quiet exclamations of awe, instead of going "ooooh.." it sounds more like "ooohohooh.."

I guess it's like his voice falls in between dragged out sounds? Like if it weren't for his tone and the context they'd almost sound like laughs, it's definitely an "h" sound, I'm not sure if there's a term for that verbal quirk but it seems fairly unique to him in the show and I thinks it adds to his sillyness heehee

squints at you squints at you squints at you squints at you squints at you squints at you squi

The bbg pose is consistent and here to stay!! yahoo!!! I wonder how many times while raising mk did they manage to tire themselves out and have pigsy later walk in to both of them asleep on the floor euhdhsnns fluffy family

while I'm thinking about noodle family here is your daily reminder that this scene exists in canon and mk has two dads thank you for coming to my ted talk

His tone of voice was so funny here the pure PANIC in his voice manifesting in a very strained yell was so well done here weehee

Circling back to the scorpion outfit, remember in the pilot episode how mk attempts to crawl away from the demon bull family after he gets caught? Tang does the exact same thing here!! same motion same thoughts process, like father like son

soft squishy tang isn't even my fault anymore LOOK AT HIM, he very squish

delving into slightly more serious tang thingies for a second!!-

this scene always felt incomplete to me, I feel like I'm missing something. This was when they first as a group run into lbd on their airship. Out of the entire group Tang is the only one to notice something's off and emphasis is put on this multiple times. First with "I've got a bad feeling about this pigsy", then with scene above where he's shown staring skeptically at lbd's rings, and then with him noticing the broken device on the ground(and notably not cheering on mk like everyone else) and confronting mk about it. Was ALL of that really just so Tang could make mk tell them about lbd(which he didn't even really do)? Why tang, why was he the only one to intuitively notice? even mk didn't know something was wrong with lbd when he first encountered her in her hostess form, heck even monkie king didn't, how did tang? Triptaka/golden cicada powers? Are we going to be seeing him do this again? Does it mean anything for where his story is going?? I don't know it just, it feels like too much focus was put on this just for it to be for nothing, it's odd to me.

One more thing!!

what was this.

from the second episode we see macaque where he puts on a shadow play and possesses tang, pigsy, and mei n' forces them to fight mk. Never in the entire rest of the series have we ever seen someone who's possessed struggle/ appear to still be there whilst being under possession. Not with the people-turned-spider-demons not with bai he not with mei or pigsy in this scene, not even really with wukong in the special. It is arguable through his expressions that he may be somewhat still there and might be putting up a fight(especially when he's about to hit mk) but we never really seem him underneath. We never hear him and we never see his true reaction underneath the poker-faced-possessed version, never like we do with tang here. Once again, just, wjajnajj, why?? This is such an odd little detail and it's so weird how it never comes back again. If it's not foreshadowing or leading up to a bigger reveal then why animate it? Because it looked interesting? Because they could? Was it a way to express to the audience that his friends were still there under the surface and they weren't just clones? But the lights in the lantern along with them getting sucked in already made that pretty clear. If that was the case anyway, why didn't they do that with wukong? or with bai he? or with the spider demons? we had no way of knowing for sure that they were there or they'd come back after being un-possessed either. It's such a small little thing that could mean nothing but it's been stuck in the back of my mind since I first saw it back when I first picked up the show in like august. I don't know, it's cool though!! I hope they do smth more with it

It is!! 4am!!! I have to be up at 7 tmrw oopsies

ending it here gnnn if you read through all of these rambles then hiii!!! Glad you find me losing my mind over a Lego entertaining I sure have fun doing it, have a good day byebyeye :3

[nitunio]

IDOLiSH7 Hunger Games Simulator

I used to play this thing all the time with other characters and fandoms. Now it's time for them to go through it!

Im using this website, you can press "Load Season" and paste the code XKs4qINi to load the main cast, then press "Edit Cast", scroll to the bottom, press "Submit" and you can proceed afterwards!! (the edit cast part is for it to refresh the whole thing, otherwise you will be playing my simulation ^__^"")

Now for the main attraction! I did one run of it and oh. . Experience under the cut! (VERY LONG POST)

Beginning!

Most people run away from the cornucopia, with the exception of them:

WHERE DO I BEGIN. Mitsuki's furious rage (contained in such a short body) made Tamaki give up. At least Sougo scored a mace for them (violently). Ryou loses also.

Minami fights Anesagi for a bag too, and Riku and Touma fight as well. Minami and Touma get their bags.

Weapons obtained: Nagi - sword, Torao - pair of sais, Okarin - handful of throwing knives (oh!), Momo - bow and arrows

Manager uses violence! Basket of bread obtained.

DAY 1

Not even the break of dawn, Momo already is set out for ZOOL. His archery skills are... admirable. Sorry Touma, your fight for the bag didn't save you

On this episode of Torao Needs A Therapist - WHAT. And on another note - Riku would probably be the worst person to go to with that request, I'm glad he went to him

Mitsuki also has a very... depressing thing going on, in spite of fighting so vigorously with Tamaki over a bag. And Yuki would never hurt his kouhai (with an, cough, exception).

Some of the other contestants sadly weren't lucky enough.

Nagi and Banri are killed gruesomely (an explosion and whatever torture Ryou did to Nagi). It's unclear if Gaku had an intention for murder, but we'll see later.. as for Ryou, he should find a better way to vent his anger after failing his fight for supplies.

In other news!

Sponsor items - Iori receives medical supplies, Okarin receives clean water

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Haruka picks flowers.

Minami and Yaotome Papa search for firewood. (separately)

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Anesagi discovers a river.

Deaths - Touma, Banri, Nagi

NIGHT 1

Starting the night off with something light - they're all decently equipped, and Momo is dealing with some stuff after killing Touma, but as always, not showing it. Mitsuki probably needed this mood lift too, since he didn't do too well before.

Tenn sees their fire but decides to stay hidden, trying to calculate his next move.

And continuing the trend of going to the worst people possible to be making this request to - we now know that what Gaku did was most likely an accident, and Banri just got caught up in it. Sorry, Gaku, you're gonna have to live with it.

In the distance, Takanashi Papa is trying to gather resources...

OLD MAN, DON'T CLIMB TREES, YOUR LIMBS MAY NOT BE SUITED FOR IT ANYMORE. Otoharu Takanashi joins Banri in heaven.

Other contestants find themselves alone...

Utsugi questions his sanity. Tsumugi questions her sanity too.

Anesagi cries herself to sleep.

Yaotome Papa attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Ryou goes to sleep. (as one should after murdering a guy, you sick sick man)

But wait.. AN AMBUSH?!

Iori, Tamaki and Minami are no longer alive, because their attempt at ambushing was gravely unsuccessful. For all the planning Iori and Minami could do, there is no stopping Tamaki from acting rash..

And as a cherry on top, Torao finds new powers within himself after Riku's kind words this day and decides to-

Fatally injure Yamato! What an end to this night.

Maybe a nap would help...

Deaths - Takanashi Papa, Iori, Minami, Tamaki, Yamato

DAY 2

As the Sun's rays creep up on the grounds, people wake up and start their day with-

More bloodshed! Torao, I think you're getting WAY too into this, perhaps it might not be the best time to "give it your all"?

Other contestants seem to be doing better, possibly to balance out Torao's kill count.

As the remaining center of ZOOL, Haruka is doing his best to cover for the teammate in the "mercy" department. Thank you for sparing Sougo.

And Tenn is doing his usual thing.

In other, minor news:

Momo discovers a river.

Okarin diverts Tsumugi's attention and runs away. (Tsumugi CAN be scary, believe me)

Utsugi thinks about home.

Ryou fishes. Yuki constructs a shack. (treating it like a farming sim, I see)

Yaotome Papa travels to higher ground. (as he always does in his life)

Deaths - Ryuu, Mitsuki

Districts 2 and 9 are wiped out! Torao has the highest kill count (3) (I don't count Riku, Ryuu and Yuki in that because they were a team in killing the ambushers, and there's no way of telling who contributed the most)

NIGHT 2

Okarin and Sougo really love their campfire stories. And now that Tenn has calculated his moves from the past night, he can safely be in their company, now with his brother too.

Utsugi receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Momo thinks about home. Yuki looks at the night sky. (sighss)

Haruka passes out from exhaustion.

Yaotome Papa and Torao both see the campfire, but stay hidden for the night.

A peaceful night indeed.. Wait!

An unlikely (by threat or withholding resources) alliance of Anesagi and Ryou is going after Tsumugi and Gaku! The Manager-Idol duo survive through their sheer power (Tsumugi) and the urge to protect (Gaku).

Deaths - Anesagi, Ryou

DAY 3

Usual day, as usual it can be.

Haruka fishes.

Sougo tries to sleep through the entire day. (uncharacteristically so, perhaps from exerting himself too much)

Tsumugi runs away from Momo. (knowing his archery skills, it could have been a worse outcome. glad Momo's not out for blood)

Yuki attacks Gaku, but he manages to escape. (Gaku, what did you say to him?)

Yaotome Papa steals from Tenn while he isn't looking. (TRIGGER's property is his property too, right?)

But there's more!

Riku plays with some dangerous toys and finishes Torao's kill streak by exploding him, with Utsugi getting caught in the explosion too (That's the second manager who barely did anything and exploded. Stop exploding your local managers)

And maybe give your managers medicine next time too? Okarin received clean water earlier, but it clearly wasn't enough to stop the deathly infection.

Deaths - Torao, Utsugi, Okarin

District 8 and 11 got wiped out! 2 members of i7, 2 members of TRG, the entirety of Re:V and 1 member of ZOOL are alive. Tsumugi and Yaotome Papa are still alive too.

NIGHT 3

Surprisingly devoid of spilled blood, the night is spent peacefully

Haruka thinks about home.

Momo and Tenn run into each other and decide to truce for the night. (best interest in mind, and looking after a kouhai too! great!)

Yuki, Yaotome Papa, Riku, and Gaku sleep in shifts. (unexpected to see Gaku team up with his old man, but things happen! Riku and Yuki decide to continue their alliance from before)

Sougo receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. (so that no people can die from infection injuries ever again.)

Tsumugi questions her sanity. (i would too)

DAY 4

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Yuki and Gaku get into a fight over raw meat, but Yuki gives up and runs away. (he needs it for his makeshift soba, Yuki!)

Haruka decides not to go to The Feast. And as we see, it was one of the better decisions.

Yaotome Papa decides to end all sorts of rumors and blow up Riku. Unfortunately, Tenn's "twin sixth sense" couldn't make him get there in time to lead Riku away, but at least they're together now. Two kills on Yaotome Papa (and, like son like father, both he and Gaku are responsible for most explosion deaths. brilliant. please don't continue!) (also fun that Riku was playing with explosives earlier and now died. because of them)

The Feast also brings us a fight!

Sougo has had a mace since the beginning, and now he decided to use it well! And well, he used it. Momo's bow/arrows and Tsumugi's raw strength just couldn't compare.

Deaths - Riku, Tenn, Tsumugi, Momo

DAY 4 (CONT.)

Yuki camouflauges himself in the bushes. (already looks the part)

Yaotome Papa constructs a shack. (what else to do after setting off an explosive)

Sougo tends to Haruka's wounds. (very cute moment after a double-murder, but now these medicals supplies are getting some use!)

Gaku practices his archery. (did you not hear what they did to another archer moments ago?)

NIGHT 4

Yaotome Papa and Yuki tell stories about themselves to each other.

Gaku receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. (GREAT.)

Sougo tends to his wounds. (efficient and great! probably one of the better doing contestants)

Here's an example of a contestant who's not doing well.

He'll sleep it off, I'm sure.

DAY 5

Yaotome Papa starts the day off by making a wooden spear. Let's see how others are do-

BETRAYAL! After all the injuries have been healed, and Haruka's mind cleared off from screaming, he went straight for it! What a twist!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

And Sougo might not be the only one with the bad luck today.

Gaku gets betrayed by the ice and his own body, and drowns in the lake. Sadly the received hatchet will never be used.

Let's see how Yuki's doing.

Oh. Alright.

And now it all comes down to these three.

NIGHT 5

Haruka and Yaotome Papa talk about the tributes still alive. (not a lot of them, and you make 67% of the population now. this is just Yuki gossip)

Yuki accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it. WHAT.

Deaths - Yuki

DAY 6

Yaotome Papa accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Hey. I think the land mines might be faulty. What the fuck!

And the winner is - Isumi Haruka, the lucky man who did not want to arm the landmines! His journey was tough, but in the end it all came down to not touching explosives.

Congratulations!

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Utsukare S2E2 & relationship themes - making some progress!

OK, so after I wrote an entire dissertation about relationship dynamics between Hira and Kiyoi in season 1 and the first episode of season 2, where do we find ourselves in episode 2? Well, there’s definitely been some movement in the right direction. They’re also continuing to illustrate some of the tendencies that have not been serving them well. One way to sum up my take on this relationship is that they’re both incredibly ambivalent about intimacy--both having intense needs and intense fears--but that historically, Hira is more of a pursuer and Kiyoi more of a distancer. Both pursuers and distancers are always supposed to “fail” some of the time (by design) so that even distancers will experience some closeness and even pursuers will get the independence they need. But Hira and Kiyoi have been too entrenched in these roles at times. And Hira’s, um, shall we say, quirky ways of pursuing have had a fail rate that’s a bit too high even for avoidant Kiyoi.

Kiyoi made some overtures in Hira’s direction in episode 1 of season 2, but he had an unfortunate tendency to do things like kick him afterwards. Hira made an effort to persevere in a social situation but was so dense about it that it bit him in the butt, then pulled out a partial victory by being sincere.

The story episode 1 was based on is actually set closer to the beginning of their relationship, and it shows. So episode 2 starts out feeling a bit more settled in a vague way before we even get to much of the specifics.

One of Hira’s themes for this episode is massively overreacting because he thinks he’s failing in his duties as a “servant” to the “king”--while Kiyoi stands by, mystified. Once it’s because he ran out of ginger ale, and then he loses it because he failed to stay awake while waiting up for Kiyoi after a late night at work. This way of relating to Kiyoi is convenient because Hira can do things for Kiyoi, which makes him feel useful to him and like he’s earning his place in this relationship he’s convinced he’s unworthy of, but he doesn’t have to take the same kind of risk of rejection or feeling inadequate as he would if he tried to relate to Kiyoi as an equal. Of course, there are also huge downsides to this. Among other things, Hira treating him like a “king” almost alienated Kiyoi from him completely before their relationship had even gotten started. And of course, that kind of contact is never going to lead to the authentic connection they need to keep their partnership going.

Hira also got challenged on a version of this in a way that seemed fruitful. When Kiyoi praised his cooking ability (”you’re incredible”) after his own cooking mishap reminded him that “cooking is hard,” Hira responded that he was “just a small pebble.” Kiyoi’s response--”You’re my man. Don’t call yourself a pebble”--was effective in part because it put Hira in a position where calling himself a pebble would be casting aspersions on Kiyoi, which is basically against his religion. Arguing someone out of deeply held negative beliefs about themselves isn’t always likely to be fruitful, but in this case it was so earnest and done with so much knowledge of how Hira’s mind works that it was a worthwhile effort.

Kiyoi was working on his stuff even more in this episode, probably in part because it was from his point of view. In addition to parrying Hira’s “pebble” comment, he attempts to show him some spontaneous affection. The first time, he wakes Hira up and triggers a torrent of self-recrimination. The second time, his smooch attempt gets cockblocked by a phone call from Koyama. But he tried! He even tries using humor to get around Hira’s defenses, with a jokey, gentler version of his old insults--a strategy which, interestingly, reminded me of suggestions I’ve often seen coming from parenting experts.

Kiyoi also makes a fairly valiant effort to be civil to Koyama and mostly succeeds. Even when he admits to himself that he “can’t be mature” about Hira’s continued relationship with Koyama, at least he’s showing some self-awareness and acknowledging that being mature would be preferable if he could just pull it off. But the biggest thing is that he’s able to take Koyama’s criticism to heart in a constructive way (is it just me or does he show a surprising degree of respect for Koyama’s opinion?) and even tries to act on it by cooking for Hira. The food may have ended up being horrifyingly bad, but at least he gained an appreciation of things Hira normally does for him. And he actually voiced it! Season1 Kiyoi would never. How much of all this was due to shotgunning a bunch of pork-flavored wine? Some of it, probably, but it I think he should still get an A for effort. 

The high point of the episode for me was Kiyoi talking to Hira about entering the photography contest. He does pull rank and use his status as royalty to order Hira to do it, but it seems like that’s the only way he’ll listen. Then he goes into persuasion mode and does a really admirable job. It’s hard to tell how much of this is sinking in for Hira as he mostly just seems stunned. But Kiyoi makes a good argument, gives Hira a lot of direct praise in the most convincing way possible, and shows vulnerability in a way that gives his perspective a lot more weight. The part where he tells Hira that he looks best in his photos was really affecting.

I mentioned in a post earlier that the blocking for the post-hotpot fiasco conversation scene seems really meaningful. As I’ve mentioned before, the show’s director, Sakai Mai, is on the record as making a point of following yaoi manga conventions that place the seme on the left (and, where applicable, the upper portion) of the page/frame and the uke on the right (or lower) portion. The show’s leads even use this placement almost every time they do social media posts and it’s followed in most of their promo photos as well. Sakai has talked about strategically switching up this placement and how it’s often a signal of roles shifting (though she also says she likes to “trick” the audience by doing so). Well, in that scene, Kiyoi sits above Hira (he’s on the couch while Hira sits on the floor) and on the left side of the frame. He later gets down to Hira’s level when he starts talking in a serious way about the photography contest, but he remains on the right. This seems to be meant to signal that Kiyoi is behaving in a seme-like way here, and he is definitely doing more pursuing in a way that bodes well for getting his relationship with Hira to a more balanced place.

So, yeah. Growth! Progress! But not so much progress that is seems unrealistic or un-earned. It seems inevitable that more wrenches will be thrown in their path soon but here’s hoping they will lead to more growth in the long run. it’s been really interesting to see the way this second season is shaping up. It is so distinct from season 1 in a way that seems appropriate. The stakes feel so different. Not higher or lower, but different. There’s so much more humor, in a way that fits. The show has changed but it seems like a change that is appropriate and earned. I’m really pleased with it so far.