#waiter five

[ghysry]

PLS MORE FIVE FICS!!! Something cute & sassy & not too serious 🥹 I need some fluff(-orsmutCOUGH) after what they did with five this season 😭😭💀

:3...

Tags: Oneshot, fluff/no angst, Five x Reader, Five(s) x Reader, Five rlly said "mitosis!", All is fluff, all is well, I'm not even going to try and explain how Reader got to the deli, DELI FIVES, Five's deli, For some reason I'm going insane

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"Which one of us?"

As soon as you stepped into the Deli all Fives sensed you immediately like a sixth sense

For some reason you are now getting forcefully seated on a booth seat and served your favorite food

All of them have this look on their face like they want to admire you from afar but can't stop themselves from blinking over to you and staring at you eat

You, in the universe you came from, never had a relationship with Five

Literally every version in this Deli has had a relationship with you

Some of them are a lot clingier than others, one Five tells you that in his timeline you died because of the commission and he would not let go of your ring finger for some reason

Too busy loving you right now to even care about fixing the apocalypse

Another Five blinks over to the side not already preoccupied with a Five and just stares at you like a Maniac

Brisket Five cooks you his best brisket while also screaming at everyone in the back because he doesn't want to fail you in brisket of all things

You're served your favorite food, favorite drink, and with a rough side of every version of Five calling you either "sweetheart" or "darling"

This is either heaven or hell

"I missed you." Coming from all sides paired with longing looks and little bumps of your body skin to skin with one Five to another

There's definitely a fight starting in the back because of you

Oh no

The Fives keep trying to claim dibs on you

This will not end well

Brisket Five wins by the way

[badkitty3000]

This is my happy place 🥵

[mlady-magnolia]

“Hey, welcome to Sparky’s!”

[ftmsteveraglan]

the fnaf movie really was a win for bisexuals. we got:

-sad pathetic wet cat short king who's actually a single mother

-evil dilf who's canonically gross and stinky and calls himself daddy

-perfect angel woman who has never done anything wrong in her entire life fighting through the horrors™

-matpat

[thejoxaren]

They are a black cat/golden retriever boyfriend duo fr

[twinktor-frankenstein]

I hc that Ness does the same thing MatPat does when he's frustrated at a video game where he makes weird whining noises and climbs all over the place/hj

[redd-byrd]

Remembered that Mike has a gym set in his room so I made this

Stronk

[reddean]

I am cringe but I am free

[vellichorom]

we've waited all 8 years, to fi~na~lly bring true our fears; newcomers to watch us play, & veterans rejoice - it's our day! 🎉

[bowowark]

Couple shirts doodle

[shinewonder]

interesting book you've got there...

[ghysry]

A backstory for brisket Five? Say less!

Tags: Diego and Five bond:(, semi-happy ending, brisket Five, he's retired, not an x reader, if you guys want me to make one just ring the bell!, He's so silly!, now let's traumatize him, shows how brisket Five got his name

Characters: Five | the brisket boy (TUA show), Diego Hargreeves, slight mention of Luther Hargreeves and Sloane Hargreeves, Waiter Five cameo at the end

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"You used to be one of the rotten ones."

Five wouldn't say he had any artistic ability, in hindsight his calculations all over every space of his childhood bedroom might look like modern art to the gullible eye but it's more of an eyesore when you actually understand the things written down, some even have corrections all over them, which at one point stops looking good and starts looking like someone barfed numbers on top of numbers. He learned mathematics in the years he spent walking the empty wasteland of an apocalypse at the ripe age of thirteen to fifty-something, reading books over and over again that survived in the apocalypse was his only source of enjoyment, if not enjoyment, then to pass the time.

No one knows one of those books he picked up was a cook book, a mini-series of them, he vaguely remembers having six out of the eight that you could get in a standard book set of these page torn burnt at the side step-by-step instruction nightmares. But he kept them. There were no stoves anywhere - and if there were, there would be no gas to turn the thing on; besides, he didn't exactly have the materials to cook food anyway, so it was useless to carry those six books around so much, embarrassing, even. Yet it was still in his cart, all forty years he spent heaving it and dragging the wooden mess behind him, those books never left his sight, and he never let them get damaged.

"Step one, throw a pot on the stove and set the fire to medium heat, slice the meat and add it into the water, then--" Five mumbled with his eyes closed, his hand fumbling with a fork, before his ears picked up footsteps right outside of his hotel bedroom. "Five?" Diego knocked on his already open door, letting himself into the older-but-younger brother's room. "You hear the thing with Sloane and Luther? They're getting married," Diego announced, eyeing his sibling for a second, trying to gauge his opinion. If Diego wasn't Five's second favorite sibling he would have sent him out of his room in less than a second, but he is. "I know. Space boy marries space girl before the world ends, kisses and hugs, do I have to be there?" Five grumbles, standing up from the edge of his bed and making his way to Diego, too lazy to use his powers.

"Yes, you have to be there. You're Luther's sibling too you know?" Diego, who's been trying to work on his parental instincts, can't help but see Five as a kid who just can't be understood by certain people, and with this knowledge in his mind, he also can't help but wrap an arm around Five's shoulder and give off a smile. "I'll be there too."

Well, this certainly wasn't what Five thought would happen a few hours before his brother's wedding. He was baking..a cake, a wedding cake, with Diego, his other brother. Five eyed Diego from his peripheral vision, watching him mix the cake batter incorrectly. "Give it here," he sneers, blinking next to Diego and grabbing the mixer, doing it the right way and watching his brother stare at him in what he thought was either awe, annoyance, disgust, or all three. "What?" Five stepped aside, cracking an egg into the batter and then mixing again. "Nothing, I just didn't think of you as the type of guy that cooks."

...

"I don't." Five stares down at his hand holding the mixer, blinking at the weird thought that maybe he could be the type of guy who cooks. After all this, when the world eventually ends and he finds himself up in his version of heaven (which he would prefer if his siblings were nearby, but he'd never tell them that), he'd open a restaurant and cook all the stuff he wishes he could've when he was stuck in the apocalypse. Or, maybe, he just dies - either way now that he was doing it, it felt pretty good, thinking about how people would eat his cooking. "Diego, help me with this."

--There it is, that dreaded moment. After Luther's wedding, after they found the other side of the hotel, after they reset the universe, after everyone else left. The sinking feeling that his siblings would never get to taste his cooking again, dare he ever try to cook after that shit show, it felt worse than standing here alone, by himself, in a park on the bench hoping nobody walks by him and asks if he knows where his parents are. Truthfully, he doesn't even know what happened to his parents, neither Reginald or his biological mother.

[SOMEWHERE IN THE GODDAMN PRESENT]

He gave up on cooking, he realized it sooner or later. After opening a restaurant that was - by the way - extremely successful, he found himself trying to contact his siblings in his free time, once or twice a week, calling them then hanging up a few minutes later to make it seem like he never missed them, and the reason he was calling was only to check up on whether or not they're starting another apocalypse or something. Klaus and Diego got more calls than he'd like to admit, Diego had a family, Klaus was finally off drugs because he lost his powers, and Allison was taking care of him while Klaus was taking care of Claire; who Allison finally got back in this timeline. But that wasn't when he gave up on cooking, it was when he realized this timeline was still doomed to fail either way.

He remembered it as clearly as he remembers that stupid commission handbook, the subway, the diary, the amount of times he felt his chest tightening at the mere mention of another apocalypse, even worse, at the mention of his siblings dying, or his siblings having to die for the sake of the world. That wasn't what he wanted, it was far from what he thought the ending would look like. Maybe, for once, he could accept that he was gullible for thinking he'd ever have a happy ending, especially one that had his siblings in it. If not for his siblings abandoning him, it was him abandoning his siblings. Again.

One more thing he would never tell anyone is that he still blames himself for ending up so far into the future. At first, when he ended up in the apocalypse and couldn't teleport back in time, he thought it was his fault. Seeing his siblings bodies laying there dead and hearts investing, he thought when he jumped too far into the future, he lost all the time he could have spent with them before the apocalypse happened. It's why he wanted to stop it so badly in the first place, to be able to spend more time with his family, the only family he had. Now, he was stuck in a stupid subway with his head in his hands, shivering in one of the empty seats, using his shirt to cover him up as much as possible from the harsh temperature of the subway. Ten years. Ten years on the subway, ten years travelling different timelines, surviving, leaving, wishing for a better adventure. It was just like the apocalypse honestly, if it happened in a train that smelled weirdly like a mixed cleaning agent and a car freshener.

It was on one of those off days when he found the abandoned restaurant, well, it was abandoned when he first saw it, but it felt like the universe was actively laughing in his face when the subway chose to bring him here, though it was the only place he could stay and feel even a little bit closer to home. He stepped inside the dusty establishment, coughing as he did so, the lights were on and flickering, but he was only here to try and loot the place for food. He walked around the place, old shoes sounding against the tiled floor, senses heightened and a butter knife he found clutched tightly in his right hand.

When he opened the kitchen door, he almost lunged in surprise, well, that is if he could lunge at all, or if he could feel surprised at all. It was..another version of him, cooking a meal of some sort, like something you'd find in a shitty three star fast food restaurant, and the grease was just everywhere on that thing. "Do you mind?" The other Five cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow, staring at the Five who was holding a butter knife in his hand.

"You hungry? I could cook you something too." Waiter Five smiled, well, it wasn't really a smile, more like a small smirk pointed towards the other Five who was just standing there like a bear poked. "I'll make my own food," Five answered, clearing his throat, but his hand never let go of the butter knife at his disposal.

"Got any brisket?"

[groven4]

I don't ship securitywaiter (mike x ness) but I am very tempted to write a fic where Ness tries breaking into Freddy's to gather clues for his investigative true crime podcast (or whatever the equivalent of that would be in the year 2000) and Mike catches him and it's just a silly little meet-cute with some silly little breaking and entering.

[crabplatinum]

transmasc and autistic walk into a room and my brain filled with fnaf knowledge and being gay explodes

ness is our oc now btw no one can prove me otherwise

[that-bat]

Woe, Ant-Man reference be upon ye

Ness being a sitter for Abby while also hardcore crushing on Mike is hilarious to me. He’s good with kids but has never been solely responsible for one so it takes some getting used to

[thejoxaren]

HES JUST MY SILLY LITTLE GUY! And he and Mike kiss! IM CRINGE BUT IM FREE

Ness HC’s of the day:

-he and Mike met at the diner

-he has a true crime podcast where he mainly has been talking about the murders that have taken place in town in relation to the pizzeria

-He and Abby get along really well and often Ness will baby sit for Mike when he has work

-In fact Ness always gives her extra crayons at the diner if she forgets her own

-Ness is the king of infodumping and thankfully Mike is a good listener

I’m just thinking about domestic Mike and Ness okay?