#wait I should probably also tag this as

[adxmanial]

There's a room where the light won't find you Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

[sforzesco]

sforza siblings :)

just. scribbling out galeazzo and ascanio, during one of ascanio's visits back home. somewhere between 1473-1475, probably

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta / tip jar!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Suddenly remembered something I wanted to say re:Akechi, because I think it's really core to his character (at least the way I interpreted him?) and I feel like it explains a lot of his contradictions. Essentially, he is incapable of seeing himself as just a person - he's either the greatest hero/detective ever, or he's some violent monster, and it's like there's no in-between. It's very in keeping with his obvious superiority-inferiority complex, but it goes deeper than that too; when he's in a role, it seems like his self-perception kind of changes too depending on how he is perceived by others. He really does get a confidence boost from being the Detective Prince. He really does shut down emotionally as the Black Mask.

They're masks that he's made, and it's not that aspects of them aren't based in truth to some extent, but I think it goes to show why he's not actually that fantastic a liar (imo, I found the outright lies pretty obvious), but he is a very good actor. He's either an angel or a demon, and never a person, but there are conditions to that. He is an angel when he is perfect - to society. He is a demon when he is vengeful - again, to society. He is never a person, because he never was seen as one - to society. He was disregarded. To be anything of value or notoriety, whether that's hero or villain, he has to be wildly more or less than who he actually is, and he's been building these masks up for so long that I really think he lost sight of the actual person behind it all. And I don't think he wanted to see that person anyways, because that person "wasn't good enough" and I do think he'd rather be anything other than himself. That trickery, that deflection from the person within, in itself brings him pride and satisfaction. He wants to be loved and needed instead of being cast aside, but I also think that if he can't have that then he'd much rather be hated than never have mattered at all. He weaponizes his own loneliness - if he can't ever be accepted then he'll build his own pedestal apart from everyone else.

It's so fascinating too, because I just wonder how much of this he was consciously aware of pre, during, and post engine room. There's this recurring thing with him where he goes "I can only be myself" etc but I just want to shake him because, well, who is that, Akechi??? Or, who do you think that is? Do you actually have an answer? Is it predicated on your actual feelings or solely on your success at fooling everyone around you? Is there any part of you that you actually like that isn't based on a painstakingly constructed mask? Isn't it all mostly lies to deflect from the truth? Isn't it all founded mostly on truth, nonetheless?

It drives me insane. And I think this is a big reason why he breaks so hard in the engine room, because so much of his mask requires his "audience" to perform in a particular way. And here he is, and the Thieves have beaten him, so there goes the first mask, because he's no longer "perfect". He swings wildly into the ugliest sides of him, but this mask is broken too, amidst him vehemently and desperately denying that he has any other emotions than hatred and rage, or any other needs or desires than vengeance. And after that, it's just him. And they should reject him, right? That's what happens. He's not useful, he's not needed or perfect, his hands are stained with blood. But the Thieves, again, don't play the role he expects them to. They, despite everything, relate to him - because he is in fact very similar in a lot of ways and they acknowledge him as a person - not a hero, or idol, or villain, or tool, or unwanted child - but as a damaged teen like the rest of them. And he does not know what to do with that. His identity is intrinsically dependent on getting the right reactions from other people as a form of ingratiating himself - if he does not get that reciprocal reaction he's looking for, his act falters, and, I really do believe that so does his self-perception. That's why you see different aspects of him seep out when he's spending time with Joker, because Joker does not react the way he expects, and Akechi both does and does not like this, because it leaves him feeling both intrigued and vulnerable.

I do think this particular aspect of his character is something a lot of the Thieves don't fully grasp - certainly, I think Joker "I need the mask" Persona 5 understands to a degree, but the sheer degree of reliance and the level of pride attached to it is something that confuses him a little, I think, especially in Mementos Mission. I think the thief that comes closest is actually Morgana, who has a similar superiority-inferiority complex and a desperate need to be seen as competent and useful lest he be discarded. (This is a big part of why the rather lackluster writing with Morgana's arc frustrates me so much because I really do feel it was meant to be contrasted with Akechi's, but I digress.) Morgana is the one to make that emotional appeal to Akechi, which makes a degree of sense - Morgana struggled all along with finding a place in the world. His form leads others to underestimate him; he visually doesn't fit in. He's acting out the role of a chivalrous and cool phantom thief but is more pragmatic with how he views relationships, at least at first. He wants a place to belong where he is appreciated more than anything but his pride won't let him spit it out. Accepting that he belongs and that he is loved even if he really did have nothing of value to provide is a big part of the resolution of his arc. He tries to offer that learned lesson to Akechi in turn ("Follow your true feelings. Even if you think people hate you, or don't want you around-"), but Akechi just wasn't in the right space to listen. There's also an important distinction between the two - Morgana envies humans and looks up to them. Akechi envies humans and looks down on them. Morgana is perfectly happy once he is assured a place amongst the group, but Akechi see-saws wildly between wanting to belong and wanting to be a step above the rest and separating himself further. So while Morgana actually really did cut to the core of the issue, his appeal would never have worked at this point because a) Akechi's pride is dependent on him maintaining his solo act, and b) he just got outed as not actually hating Joker in front of seven other people including Joker himself lmao.

So, uh, sorry, Morgana. Points for trying.

[lost-in-fandoms]

Thought i would be done but...yeah didn't happen. Part one here.

Living with Max is easy.

He doesn't whine when Daniel is taking care of his leg, he doesn't mind sleeping on some blankets on the floor, next to the fireplace, he offers to help around, and best of all he doesn't ask questions.

Well, not exactly. He asks so many questions. Once he gets over his initial bout of shyness and quiet, he asks questions about Daniel's vegetables, about his horse, about the woods, about the traps, about the animals. He offers his own opinions too, telling Daniel he's growing peas in too much shade and that he's cooking his meat for too long. And, much to Daniel's annoyance, he is often right too.

But he doesn't ask questions about Daniel. He doesn't know if it is because Max doesn't care or because he doesn't want to be asked questions back, but he appreciates being spared the trouble of telling him to mind his own business.

They also work surprisingly well together. Max is older than he initially seemed, dirt, hunger and exhaustion making him look younger, and he seems to know a little bit of everything. Even if he doesn't ask, Daniel is a little curious about what path in life brought him to have such a wide mix of knowledge. He seems to know how to move around the woods without scaring the prey, how to skin and cook animals, how to take care of the vegetables (better than Daniel), how to keep himself and the house clean.

It's nice to have a second pair of hands around, even if the pair of hands should sit down more often to let their leg heal. Not that Max ever listened to that.

And he's funny. Daniel hadn't realised how much he missed just sitting around the table after dinner, talking and laughing with someone else. How good it was to wake up and find the fire already stoked and the water pitch already filled. To have someone to say good morning to who would say it back.

Daniel hadn't been thinking of himself as lonely before, he was content with his choice of life, but he can admit that he likes this. He is glad Max decided to stay and he's glad Max seems to be having a good time too, at least from what Daniel could tell.

This is why, when about three weeks after Max's arrival he wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him moving around the house, his first thought isn't Max is leaving, but something is wrong.

"Are you okay?" he asks, voice scratchy with sleep and way too loud in the quiet of the night.

He watches Max flinch, dropping something, before turning around to face Daniel.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers, too shaky to be a good order. There's something different in his voice, and it only takes Daniel's tired brain a few moments to realise that he had heard those notes before, in the woods about three weeks ago. Fear.

Daniel sits up, eyes finally adjusting to the silver darkness of the room, moonlight streaming through the open windows.

"What's wrong?" he asks again, voice lower, matching Max's whisper.

He listens to the sounds coming from outside, thinking that maybe the men Max was running from have come back, but he can't hear anything unusual in the late summer night.

Max is grabbing what he dropped on the floor, stuffing it into a bag that he must have taken from Daniel's things, but the moment, Daniel doesn't even care about the fact that he's very obviously stealing from him.

"Max, what is happening?" He's getting frustrated now, hates not knowing what is going on, worry and irritation growing together.

He stands up, taking a couple of steps towards Max, wanting to see him better, but he stops when Max flinches back.

"I need to leave," he finally says, voice raspy. It's not an explanation, and Daniel suddenly regrets never asking any questions.

"Why? Where?"

He doesn't want Max to leave. The knowledge of that settles like armor on his chest, safe but heavy. Living with Max isn't just easy, it's good. He doesn't want to go back to an empty house, not after the past weeks have been so nice.

"I...I need..." Max shudders, as if in pain, and Daniel's legs ache with the need of walking closer.

"Did something happen?" Did I do something wrong?

Max shakes his head, jerky and sharp. When he exhales, Daniel can hear him bite back a whine.

He doesn't want to scare Max, but he is confused, and he is worried, and he is not going to let him go without an explanation.

He steps between Max and the door.

"You owe me an explanation," he says, hating the way it makes Max stiffen, unwilling to take it back anyway.

"I don't owe you..." Max snaps, before interrupting himself with half a growl. "You haven't told me anything either!"

"That's different. I'm not running away in the middle of the night."

Max takes a step forward, back tense, and Daniel instinctively braces himself, eyes flying towards the table, where his knife always is, but Max doesn't attack him.

He shivers again, hands clenching around the bag and then letting it fall on the ground with a thump, shoulders slumping as all the fight seems to leave him.

"Please, Daniel, I need to leave. It's...it's not safe."

Max looks up, finally meeting Daniel's eyes, and he's suddenly reminded of what the man had said, so many days ago.

He's dangerous. Cursed.

Max's eyes look weird, blue brighter than ever, almost glowing in the moonlight. His face is twisted in pain and there's the glimmer of sweat gathering at his hairline. None of that would worry Daniel, but there's something...different in him. Something other.

Cursed.

The room seems too bright now. The moon is almost full tonight.

Cursed.

Max had said he hadn't killed anyone, but if this is what Daniel is thinking of...

Max closes his eyes, whole body shivering again, his edges almost blurring with it. Or maybe it's not just a trick of the light. Daniel doesn't know what to think anymore.

He doesn't want Max to go. He doesn't want this to happen.

He steps away from the door.

For a moment, they both stand still, looking at each other.

For a moment, Daniel hopes he'll wake up and it will be morning, and Max will be coming in with the last tomatoes from the garden.

Then Max whines, something low and pained, something animal, and bolts.

Daniel doesn't stop him.

He watches as his shadow changes even before he's fully reached the trees.

Then he sits on the doorstep and waits for the sunrise.

[qulizalfos]

"jinx adopting isha lmao" yes okay but the vicious cycle of silco taking jinx under his wing when she was at her absolute lowest and observing her spiral out of control from a quilted leather chair and jinx killing silco and jinx still grappling with his death and jinx is unmoored and her face is splashed over every wanted poster plastered to grimy walls in the lanes. because you're a jinx - vi had no fucking idea. and then isha falls on jinx's head and knocks her to the floor to escape people who want her dead and jinx puts a bullet in each because it's what she does but isha sticks around. isha throws herself in vi's way because jinx was teetering on the brink of death and swaying in its favor and jinx screams "NO!" and there's a trembling gun in vi's face and a small finger on the trigger. and jinx sees powder between them. she remembers sobbing, tackling silco in a hug and now isha's blubbering with her hands around her and of course jinx knows exactly how this goes so jinx sees her own death. no, no, no, this isn't how it's supposed to- but it really couldn't have gone any other way. you are your fathers child etc.

[youling-the-ghost]

GUYS WE FINALLY HAVE SFTH LONGFORM CHARACTER TAGS ON AO3!! :D

(we still don't have any canon relationship tags as far as I know but this is still pretty cool!)

[tinyclove]

everyone meet mr peanut butter ❤️ my new little baby!! he's an 11 week old angora bunny. I've always had bunnies (I have 3 others at the moment, not including mr. PB, all of different breeds!) and I decided to specifically go for an angora this time since I've been enjoying my yarn spinning so much! so not only do I get an adorable little sweetheart to love, but I'll be gradually collecting his fluff as I groom him for my spinning projects hehe how cool is that?! I'm so excited :)

I'll keep you guys updated on here maybe, if that's something people would be interested in! I've just moved homes and I am so lucky to now have loads of wonderful outside space that I can't wait to use for creating the bunny wonderland (bunderland?!) of my dreams for my furry babies. I'm currently in the process of building a fancy 8x8ft barn for them to live in, then once that's all done I'll be building an attached walk-in run so that they'll have a nice secure outside space too! I can't wait to introduce mr. PB to my other bunnies and get them settled into the barn - it'll keep me busy as my winter project!

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAu - On the other side

:3 :3 :3

Guess who is back already?!

Not with the normal cast though :3

No I had an idea for the another person in this AU.

Anyone wondering how Dream is going? :D

So this one is a bit different then all the other installments and don't expect these often as the main focus is on the gang and their now babybones boss. But this one I thought would be fun.

Welcome. To Dream dealing with this (the sometiny changes to the multiverse. A God can't lose his status without it affecting those around him after all :3)

First: here Prev: here Next: here

We good? We good. We are unedited and unbeta'ed as always.

oh shit @spotaus I actually forgot you that time. sorry fam (they gave me the original prompt which is why they keep getting added every update. They are stuck with me now)

*----------*

The sun feels so warm on his bones. Dream lays by the roots of his mother. Enjoying the warm light of the never ending late spring sun which warms his bones. His mother's voice, always loving and so proud of him.

The only thing that would make this moment better would be his brother near him. But he went to wash up a while ago.

Which is okay It isn't. where is nightmare? He will just wait right here for when he comes back.

Nightmare always joins him again. except that one time. The time when it mattered.

Dream loves his brother so much, and Nightmare loves him! Not anymore, not after everything

Dream sighs in the warm light and looks to the side. The village lays in the distance. Beautiful and lively and so so welcome of him!

Rememver your duty my son. You are meant for great things. Never forget that.

Dream hums happily as he looks back up at the branches "I know mom! I will be like you and be a great warrior and bringer of hope!" he smiles up.

A laugh in the air that sounds like a bell A bringer of balance my dear son. Remeber. Too much of one will always spell the end for one.

Dream hums as he enjoys the soft sunlight and happiness he feels in his soul.

He just wishes his brother was here. he wants his brother back, that is all he wants.

oh. I think Nightmare is back from washing himself

Dream blinks his sockets open and looks over. Near the forest edge stands Nightmare. In his purple clothes and with a small silver crown on his skull. Dream smiles and waves from his spot "Nighty! Over here!"

But Nightmare doens't move. He just watches him.

Dream frowns as he sits up "Nighty?"

The sunlight is gone as an ominious rumble is heard overhead. The light feeling in him disappears as he looks back at Nightmare "Nighty! i know it is scary but you need to get over here!" Normal trees can't protect them from thunder and lightning! Their mother can.

Nightmare just continues to stare at him from a distance. Even now Dream thinks he looks tired.

Drema raises to his feet.

His mother's voice fills his skull Dream don't go. It isn't worth the risk.

Dream shakes his skull and leaves the save shadow and cover of his mother. Running towards his brother. He needs to get to him. He can't be too late again. Not when he has this chance to reach him in time.

Dream watches as Nightmare remains rooted in place. Lightning flashes overhead and loud thunder follows right away. Drema flinches but keeps running "Nighty!" his voice lost in the loud rumble and thunder.

Dream is right by him and reaches for him. But another flash of lightning and Dream is blinded. Once he opens his sockets he is no longer by the forest. No, he is in the village. People are screaming. He searches for Nightmare only to see his mother burning in the distance. Her branches ablaze in bright orange light.

Dream rushes towards her. Panic. Why can't he stop this? Why did it happen?

He reaches her but it is already too late. His mother is gone. HIs friends are gone. His brother...

His brother...

Staring at him with betrayal. Dream can feel the hurt and betrayal in the other and Dream realises his has his hand out.

He had hit him. He had attacked him.

Dream reaches for his brother but Nightmare flinches back, away from him.

Because he had hurt him.

Dream can't speak. He can't move.

Nightmare glares at him "Nothing to say for yourself?"

Dream tries but no words leave him. Please Nighty. He is sorry.

Nightmare just continues to glare at him "After everything?! You only came because of those stupid villagers?!"

Dream shakes and tries to shake his skull. tries to deny it. But he can't. His body isn't moving. Nightmare is right, dream had always only cared about the village and what they wanted.

Nightmare turns and walks away. Away from him. Away from their ruined home.

Dream wants to follow but can't move. He is locked in place. just like he had been when he had been turned to stone.

He tries to reach for Nightmare but he is already gone and everything goes dark. Just dark dark dark dark-

Dream gasps as he sits up and checks himself. He can move! He is fine! he... he...

He looks around and sees that he fell asleep on his couch again... in his own living room... again...

He sighs as he sits normally on the couch and puts his skull between his hands. That same dream again. it had been haunting him ever since he had first faced Nightmare. But the dream kept coming back more often lately, for almost two months now...

He is so tired. He can't deal with everyone needing his help today. He can't deal with everyone demanding his attention and support today...

Dream glances at his phone and grabs it. So many numbers in there and many many texts and missed calls already. He ignores them all and finds the right number. He calls it and waits.

"Hey Dream! How are you?"

Drema feels apart of him relax "Blue..."

"... What is wrong?"

Dream feels bad for asking this off him "... can... can i please come over?" he is suposed to be strong. a bringer of hope and light. Yet he keeps failing. He tries so hard but keeps messing up or not being enough.

"Of course. I will clear my own schedule. Can you get here okay?"

Dream smiles and nods "yeah... be there in a bit." Honestly thank everything for Blue.

--

Dream sits on the couch in a different living room. Still feelign exhausted but a bit better. He had told Blue all about the dream he had had... The way it had been bothering him more and more lately and just how exhausting he had been lately.

Blue sits by him as he eats his bowl of cereal, Dream's own bowl untouched. Blue hums as he takes a bite "Seems to me that you are getting burned out." and he eats another bite.

Dream frowns "no? That is for people who do stuff they don't like. I like helping people!" generally... sometimes...

He is the guardian of positivity! He is suposed to like helping others! That is hiw whole purpose!

He wishes he could ask his mother... He wishes he could ask Nightmare, Nightmare had always been better at listening and hearing what their mother said.

Blue hums as he eats more of his breakfast "Everyone can get burned out by everything. It is why Ink can get an artblock. It is why Sci can get overwhelmed and annoyed with his own work. Jsut because you like soemthing doesn't mean you can't get stressed or overwhelmed by it."

Dream blinks confused at Blue and Blue smiles "My bro has it more often than me. Said it like that too much of one thing is always bad, no matter what it is."

Dream... Dream suddenly has a strong sense of dejavu.

Blue nods "Even stuff you like! Say... I love taco's. It is my favourite! But... if i had to cook it everyday and only eat taco's? I would get sick of it. It doesn't mean i don't like them any less. Just, even too much of a good thing is bad. you know?"

Dream gives a slow nod as he stares at Blue "what... what should i do?"

Blue shrugs as he finishes his meal "Take a break? Don't do the guardian stuff for a bit?"

Dream frowns "I can't take a day off!"

Blue tilts hsi skull "Why not? Having a good work ethic is important, I myself have one too, but i know i need breaks. Obviously not as much as some people!" Blue looks over his shoulder with a glare.

Stretch chuckles in the distance "guilty as charged!"

Blue huffs but turns back "But breaks are important. It is why there are rules nad laws about days off and having breaks every so many hours. It sounds to me that you have not been using your vacation days and you should at this point." he puts his empty bowl away and quickly washes it before joining his said again.

Dream already feels anxious. PEople like and listen to him because he helps them. If he stops doing that they may dislike him or not listen and then what does he do?!

Blue sits next to him and keeps waiting for a reply.

Dream rubs his arm "what.. what about... work? What about spreading positivity?"

Blue thinks it over "I mean... It should be fine right? The gang and your brother have been very quiet for the last... what... month? two months?"

Dream nods as he looks at his hands. the anxiety returns "He must be planning somethign big..." something gigantic. And dream has no idea and doesn't even know where to start with getting information or anything-

Blue snaps his fingers and Drema blinks out of his own thoguhts before shooting Blue a confused look.Blue grins at him "I honestly didn't expect that to work. Stop worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet. Think about the here and now. Your friends are doing okay. The omega timeline doesn't need your help with anything they cna't do themselves. The gang hasn't done anything yet and Errir and Ink still have their third cease fire."

Blue pokes Dream "What will help you right now."

Dream stares at Blue for a moment before looking away. He thinks before he speaks "I think... I think I would like to go... home..." Blue frowns so Dream tries to explain "YOu know... home home... I haven't been there in ages... my... my magic has been... shifting... it is strange... I don't bring as much positivity to others as i used to anymore. Me just being there doesn't make others happy anymore. I... I was hoping... maybe i can find answers there?"

Blue blinks before smiling "That sounds like a wonderful idea! If you give me ten minutes I can get ready to join you."

Dream blinsk confused "You will join me?"

Blue grins and nods "Of course! what are friends for?"

Dream feels lighter and smiles "Thank you blue."

--

not even fifteen minutes later and they had arrived in Dreamtale. Dream... Dream isn't sure what he had been expecting. but it was the same as he remembered. no colours. everythign is grey and frozen. lacking anytype of magic.

It hurt.

They had arrived at the village and blue looks around "oh.. i... i am sorry..." he holds his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

They walk around the village together and that same bittersweet feeling returns to Dream. He remembers playing games here. the little marktes he would visit. How everyone would always be happy to see him.

It had been a beautiful place.

And now it is gone and-

Dream freezes. Blue doens't notice as he keeps walking but dream can't look away. because there in the distance... in another building... that... that looks like...

"Nighty?"

The mirage, or vision, or hallucination looks up in shock. before pure fear overtakes the expression.

He looks so young... had they been that young?

Dream feels himself take a step closer. his soul is pulsing madly and his sockets starts to itch with tears. is he going insane?

The tiny form disappears from view as it disappears behind a wall and out of the view of the window.

Dream doesn't think and starts sprinting.

"Dream?! What is wrong?!"

Dream doesn't stop to explain. He runs through the empty streets. please. please. just a moment longer. just bring that vision back. He just wants to see his brother one more time.

Please.

A crack much like a thunder fills the air and Dream rushes into the house he had originally seen the vision in.

Nothing.

Dream sobs as he falls to his knees.

He was too late again.

Blue joins his side a moment later but Dream can't even begin to explain.

Why did it feel like he lost his brother all over again?

Why did his soul hurt this badly?

Blue holds him and continues to hold him until Drema calms down again.

Dream sobs "Maybe... maybe this was a mistake..." he can't admit he jsut saw a vision of his own brother but as a child... He can't admit he is actually going insane.

Blue just continues his hug "Or maybe this is exactly what you needed. You have been holding in this grieve for a long time Dream. Maybe it needs to be released?"

Maybe he has a point. Dream leans heavily into the hug.

Blue holds them both up easily "Any place you want to visit?"

Dream holds it tightly before looking around "Maybe... maybe my friend is still here? It has only been about two years since a left." she had given him tea and let him sleep on her couch... Later she had broken him out of his stone prison and helped him as he grew up to be who he is today.

He wants to be sure she is okay.

Blue nods as he looks around the village "where to?"

Dream points in a direction "Her house should be over there..." They walk together in silence and Dream finally spots the old house. But it looks old and broken. As if no one had lived there for centuries.

Dream feels himself shake "That can't be right." he rushes inside and freezes as he finds a pile of dust.

oh... how?

Dream sits next to the pile and sobs. Blue joins his side and hugs him.

Time passes and Dream ends up carefully collecting the dust and putting it in a jar. He will have to figure out what her favourite things were and-

"euh... Dream? What is this?"

Dream blinks and looks over to see Blue holding an old beautiful book. Dream frowns as he walks over and reads the title.

'Dreamtale'

Dream feels himself freeze "I... I don't know... where did you find it?"

Blue points towards the room. Dream frowns "I... i was told to never enter that as that had been her personal room. I didn't want to breka the trust..."

Blue hums before just opening the book. Dream hisses "Blue!"

Blue doesn't even look apologetic "Dream. If i have learned one thing about the multiverse, is having an universe named after one person spells trouble for everyone else in that universe. Why would she hide this from you?"

Dream can't help but agree and the two sit together at the table and start reading the story.

--

Dream wants to throw up. He is going to throw up. He just sits with his skull in his hands.

How... how often had nightmare asked him not to leave... to leave him alone? How often had Nightmare told him that the villagers didn't like him.

Dream... Dream never listened.

Dream sobs as he lays fully on the table.

The person he thought had been his friend... the person who gave him tea and a place to sit and rest. drugged him... all to make sure he couldn't interfere when they went to... when they had planned to murder... to murder...

dying...

all those years again.. Nightmare had accused him of not even caring that he had been dying. dream had thought it had been the corruption somehow talking to him, mocking him. Trying to make him feel horrible...

It had been Nightmare himself... accusing him of leaving him to be hurt and die alone.

And he had been right.

Dream sobs as tears leave his sockets. His sight finds the jar with dust of that... that... woman! That! Rage burns through him but two arms keep him in place.

"It is okay Dream. Let it all out."

Dream shakes his skull as he pushes closer to Blue "It isn't okay!! I am a fucking idiot! I was too fucking blind and now! Now I-" more sobs.

Blue jsut holds him tighter "You were a kid dream"

Dream sobs as he tightens his hold on blue "So was nighty..."

His dreams... his dreams and even that hallucination must have been trying to tell him all along there was more than he saw. That something had been going on. But dream was too busy. Always too busy. Before he had been too busy wiht the village and villagers... and now he was too busy with the multiverse.

eventually the tears dry as Blue just keeps holding him.

Dream sniffs "How do i fix this?"

Blue pauses his movement and clearly thinks for a while. Dream feels worse the longer Blue doesn't answer.

Blue sighs as he leans his own skull against Dream "I don't know. I would say you could try to talk with Nightmare but... well..."

Dream tightens his hold on Blue. every time him and Nightmare met they never spoke. Dream had for a while tried to tell Ngihtmare he could do better nad make up for the wrongs he did...

No wonder Nightmare doesn't want to speak to him anymore. Dream pretty much said that Nightmare should feel bad for fighting for his own survival... that he should feel bad for killing those who tried to kill him.

Dream feels sick all over again as he pushes closer to Blue. Being near blue helps.

Blue keeps a tighter hold on him "For now... you can take the book with you at least... keep your story with you you know? And maybe try and approach the subject if you see him again?"

Dream nods before anxiety reaches him "How will i tell everyone this?"

Blue pulls back and stares him in the socket "Stop. YOu dont have to tell them."

Dream looks away "They deserve an explanation and-"

Blue shakes his skull and looks at Dream "They don't. Just because they think they do deosn't mean they actually do. You don't have to hurt yourself to please them. You don't have to share this just opened hurt with those who won't support you dream."

Dream still feels sick "won't that be selfish?"

Blue shakes his skull "people demanding you share your trauma with them are entitled. You don't have to tell anything if you aren't comfortable."

Dream sniffs before nodding.

Blue nods and slowly helps him too his feet "Now. We came here with a mission and that was to find out what was up with your magic... the book didn't hold the answer so i am going to assume it may have to do with adult you. is there any other place you could learn more of yourself?"

Dream frowns. his head still a bit foggy "maybe... mom would know... but she never told us much... and she is gone... and i haven't been there since... well. i turned to stone." even after he got broken out he hadn't been brave enough to return.

Blue nods "How about.... we walk around first... see if we find anymore... clues" he eyes the book before looking back at him "And once you are ready go see your mom?"

Dream thinks for a moment before nodding.

Dream and Blue end up going to the hill after a quick walk around the village. All the good memories that Dream had had had already turned bittersweet after them dying. Now? They just burned him. Made Dream angry in a way he couldn't put into words. He had helped those unthankful assholes! He helped them day after day after day! Adn they hurt... they hurt... They killer his mother! They tried to kill Nightmare!

They walk up the hill silently and dream is dragging is feet.

Dream didn't think he could feel worse but he was wrong.

Because right by the dead stump of his mother.

Are two old graves.

One saying Nim. One saying Dream.

The worst part is that they looked well maintained and there are fresh flowers on them.

After that Blue calls it a day and helps him home. Saying that they will ask other people in the multiuniverse about gods changing powers later. and with a crack like thunder they teleport away and out of that universe again.

*-----------------*

... *coughs* did someone say brother complex? Also this ended up a lot longer than planned? Woops? Look it was just suposed to be about Dream seeing tiny NIghtmare in their old AU but then a lot happened and I figured Dream also had a lot of trauma and well... tada?

Look. I never said Dream was dealing well with the changes... If i am being honest Nightmare took his own slight body horror better than Dream took the slight changes around him and the vision of his younger brother :3

First: here Prev: here Next: here

anyway. Love you all. You are fun and nice to hang out with! See you next drabble. also i can't believe this account that i just had to give little extra information abut my main AU just... has a second AU living here now.... guess that happened...

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[fraternum-momentum]

RAAAAAH ur comic..ur fucking comic..is so good !!!!!!!!! i will be thinking abt it for days oh god i kinda hate kylar and dismissed him in my dol save BUT i still love him? it’s a love/hate relationship for me BUT AGAIN I WANT TO EAT AND SNIFF UR ART @_@ (i hate that its canon that kylar smells like garlic bby pls take a shower)

i wont be surprised if this has been done already

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

man not to read too much into spahr's "there was a reason i picked him" about phineas but. i am always keeping in mind that spahr pulled phineas out of the delta personally. he didn't meet phineas as a prospective adsecla he met him as a scared little kid! maybe it wasn't so much that spahr actually thought phineas was the best choice as that he really wanted to believe he was. maybe without even being aware of it! how could he not want to believe in the rags to riches of it all? something that started with that scared little kid HE was able to help save? a tangible representation--beyond valor--of something good he did? but now of course that whole narrative has crumbled around him! phineas did something horrible (that was all spahr's fault as far as he's concerned) and now phineas is dead! that's it! story over! :)

[nillisaie]

So instead of trying to handsew a stretchy fabric and risk ending up with something I don't really like, I made a f/o beret ❤️

It's not perfect, but also I'm still very new to crocheting. I've only really made a few small things and this is my first biggest crochet project

I look like an angry deer :3

[solargeist]

NEW USERNAME JUST DROPPED ................

[yourlocalgrass]

(Event spoilers for current event) Now that the next event stages are coming Im only waiting to see if we’re gonna see the brothers go berserk over the news that they might have to sacrifice MC or Devildom goes shambles.

If we don’t have them feral over this at least idk what I’m going to expect anymore.

However it seems as if the the beast wants his answer this moment so there’s a chance we’ll only get the characters we have now: Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, Solomon, but all I want to see the feral ones go feral. PLEASE somehow get the rest of the brothers in this too I beg you

[sophiethewitch1]

Maybe it's the gender is an illusion or a spice of life in me but I gotta say the gender bends are transphobic discourse stuff sounds a lot like nonsense to me. Before you shoot me between the eyes I use they/them pronouns so therefore I am allowed to have an opinion about this lmao