#vs villains

[spacefaxy]

"I'm sorry, he should've been here by now." Dr. Lain said, tapping their foot and checking their watch. "He's NEVER this late..."

Lain pulled up a chair to the monitor and started flipping through news channels while I watched, only lightly gagged with a clean, breathable cloth. News about my absence was sparse. Dr. Lain's shoulders eventually slumped, and they sighed.

"Are you hungry, thirsty? Or would you rather just go home?" They asked as they untied my gag and other restraints.

"Yeah, dinner sounds nice actually," I reply, stretching out my arms and legs before standing up.

"Come then," they gesture, and we walked through their lair.

After stepping into the elevator, I turned to the Dr. and asked them, "Where do you think he's at?"

Dr. Lain's composure broke slightly for a moment before returning with a slight scowl. "I don't know. I have drones out looking for him. He should've been here, on time, as he usually is, it's how this whole thing is supposed to work. I kidnap you, he comes over, we fight, he wins, and you go home. It's like my one social interaction for the week."

Lain rubbed their temples as the elevator door opened, revealing a decently comfortable looking, though small, apartment. "Make yourself at home, I suppose," they said quietly, taking off their coat, revealing a surprisingly feminine form I hadn't noticed before, and hanging it up by the door before proceeding toward the kitchen. At the threshold, they stopped suddenly, and turned back to me. "Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why stay here instead of going home? Even if just for a meal?"

"I don't know. I should hate you for the frequent kidnappings, and the havoc that's been wreaked over my life as a result, but despite that you're the only one who's ever been nice to me."

Dr. Lain tilted their head, puzzled.

"Like. Okay. Kidnapping someone is super bad, right? But you've always made sure my home is either undamaged, or fixed by the time I get there. You've always used really comfortable restraints, when you could've used cheaper, less comfortable stuff. You've never actually hurt me."

"I try not to, it's not you I'm after," they spoke quietly, leaning against the wall.

"I know."

"But you don't hate me?"

"No, it's usually fun actually. My friends don't believe me, keep telling me I need therapy and such. Stockholm Syndrome or something. Maybe I should, but not for this."

Dr. Lain had folded their arms by now, listening patiently.

"I actually don't like it when the hero 'rescues' me. He's rough about it. He drops me off wherever, and I have to make it back home from wherever I am in the city."

"He doesn't even make sure you get home safe?" Dr. Lain stood straight again.

"Nope! And that's not even talking about his presentation when he gets here. You've got this elaborate smoke and laser show, a music playlist, your drones do background choreographed dancing during the fight, it's a fucking spectacle every time. But this hero can't even be bothered to try to match that? It's kinda disrespectful if you ask me."

"I know right?" Dr. Lain perks up suddenly, and returns to the kitchen. They pull some plastic containers from the fridge and toss them into the microwave for a couple minutes. "I put so much work into making it a grand show for anyone watching, and to hype him up for the fight, but it's like he's just going through the motions."

I ponder that last sentence for a minute.

"Dr., do you think he's okay..?" I ask quietly.

There was silence, save for the hum of the microwave. A few moments later, it beeped, and Dr. Lain grabbed some silverware, bringing the food out to a dining table. They grabbed an extra chair for me from the closet. Not the most comfortable thing.

"No. Let's have some food first, and then we can go to his hideout and check on him."

The food was pretty basic. Veggies and rice with a light sauce, and grilled chicken.

"You know where it is?"

"Yeah. He doesn't know that though."

After food, we took a ride back down the elevator, down further than the normal lair. The garage it seems. There were a few different cars in there. Some damaged from battles with the hero, some new and waiting for their turn to shine. And one in the corner that appears to be a normal car. It's a decades old Japanese sedan - the paint is worn, one of the wheel covers has fallen off a long time ago, leaving a black steel wheel exposed to the elements. There's spots of rust here and there, along with a few dents and scrapes.

"We're trying not to grab the attention of the police," they winked. "Get in!"

I was surprised by how smooth the door operated. No rattles or squeaks. Dr. Lain turned the ignition key, and the car started right up. I leaned over and peaked at the odometer - 595,678 miles. Woah.

"My grandpa bought this car as a gift for my mom, who then passed it on to me when I was old enough. I've been driving this every day for 19 years."

"You must take really good care of it."

"I do! I'm saving up to fix the cosmetic defects, and totally restore the car in the next year or two. It's the most reliable thing I've ever owned."

The drive was peaceful and quiet. The rain was clearing up, and the setting sun peered beneath the clouds, lighting everything up in brilliant shades of red, orange, and violet. It felt like driving through a real synthwave music video.

It was well into twilight when we arrived at the hero's hideout. Lain looked concerned as we approached, slowing down and dropping into 2nd gear. They leaned forward in their seat, scanning the place as we came to a stop at the gate. Even though it was open, Lain stopped the car before the threshold and got out. Hurriedly, they got back in and without putting their seatbelt back on floored it and drove up the way, tires screeching a bit. "That gate should never be open, why the FUCK is it open?!"

I started getting nervous. How long had they known each other anyway?

We finally arrived at the hideout. It's a simple farmhouse on the outside, light blue paint, green shutters, and a tile roof. Lain slams the brakes and we stop just beyond the stairs. The shut off the engine and pull the trunk release latch. "Come on, we have to figure this out."

I follow them to the back of the car and they remove a false floor. Inside was a shotgun and a handgun. They hand me the pistol and a spare magazine, and grab the shotgun for themself and a bandolier with shells. "Is this necessary?"

"It might be," Lain said, marching up the stairs to the door. It was left cracked open.

We go in, and Lain pulls a small light from their pocket, supporting the shotgun on their forearm as they sweep the room. It's dark inside, but Lain spots something in the dining room.

"Cover me," they say, and proceed into the house. I follow them, and keep my gun pointed into the dark.

There's a note on the table, folded into a tent shape so it can be spotted more easily. It's addressed to Dr. Lain specifically, and they read it. I've never seen them go so pale before.

"I'm gonna need your help," they say.

"What happened? What's going on?"

"We've got a rescue to pull off. Let's get back to the lair and prepare. It's not every day you're challenged by the nation's biggest supervillain."

You are kidnapped by the villain regularly, but you’re starting to look forward to it. You know they won’t hurt you, and are simply being dramatic. It also doesn’t help that you are the only person they ever kidnap. This time, the hero doesn’t bother trying to save you.

[moonlightcycle571]

I need Joker to fear Captain Marvel so dam badly. Let me explain.

So we know how we, as a community, all accepted that Billy Batson / Captain Marvel is the most egregious Tax Evader of DC (for this who don’t know, there was a whole poll and our boy Billy won out of literally everyone, including supervillains).

And in the Batman Cartoon (and some comics), it’s stated that Joker is terrified of the IRS.

I think you see the picture.

Joker: I may be crazy enough to fight Batman, but I am NOT crazy enough to deal with the IRS

Captain Marvel: lol imagine doing your taxes

Everyone present: w h a t

*clip goes viral*

IRS Agent: So, Captain Marvel was it? According to this footage, you have no been paying your taxes

Marvel: prove it.

IRS Agent: What?

Marvel: to make me pay anything, you need to know who I am and what’s to pay. I got nothing to pay.

IRS Agent: that’s not-

Marvel: not even Batman knows who or what I am. For all you know, I could be living in a multidimensional rock situated in, quite literally, the middle of nowhere.

IRS Agent: …

IRS Agent: I- w h a t

*some time later*

IRS AGENT: YOU BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO LATE CC BATSON. SOMEONE WHO HASNT PAID TAXES IN 70 YEARS! YOU OWE US TAXES

Marvel: no I’m not

IRS Agent: Don’t try-

Marvel, holding the lasso of truth: I am not CC Batson, I don’t owe you shit. Plus he’s totes dead so can’t be me.

IRS Agent: DAMMIT

Joker: This mofo is crazy! Crazy? I was crazy onc-

*later*

IRS Agent, in Fawcette: why is none telling me anything!!!! You, Child, what do you know of your local hero?

Itty Bitty Billy Batson: lmao aren’t you that Agent harassing Cap

IRS Agent: it’s not harassment if he owes the government taxes

Billy: good luck taxing anyone in Fawcette lmao, magic doesn’t give a shit about that. Also we have different currency’s that just switches on random basis. So unless the government takes Drachmas, you’re cooked

IRS Agent, on the verge of tears: this has never happened before

Lex Luthor: WRITE THAT DOWN WRTE THAT DOWN

Bonus:

Billy: you know, I know someone who has been commuting tax evasion, tax fraud and more charges. His name is Ebenezer Batson. That’s E B E N Z E R and he lives just outside of Fawcette. Can’t miss him.

IRS Agent, who has a fridge with ‘CC Batson’ and is more than happy to get old man prey: thanks kid

Bonus 2:

Billy: Sweet, the IRS put my uncle in jail and the police gave me back my inheritance. Now to convert this into Fawcette currency (they will not be taxing this money)

Joker, visibly weeps

[tampire]

Scott Pilgrim VS The World: The Game

[rhiangalaxy]

@allpiesforourown 's beast peak Shen Yuan Au got me 👀

[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. The first image depicts a beast peak disciple Shen Yuan, who appears in his late teens/early 20s. His robes are primarily green and brown. His hair is pulled into a messy braid and he has a pair of silver glasses. He is holding a qiankun pouch with both hands and is covered in blood on his clothes and face. He says "Are you alright, Shidi?" The second image depicts disciple Luo Binghe, who is presumably looking towards SY with a blank yet flustered expression. He has a lot less blood on him in comparison. He answers "Never better, Shixiong", with a thought bubble behind him that states "Hope this doesn't awaken anything in me". End ID]

[0ketinha]

Just a prank :]

[anime-grimmy-art]

Rounding out the year with old man yaoi had not been on my bingo card, but here we are.

I realized I never got around to draw adult bunny from Post Covid and I totally regret that cos they're so fun to draw! Also, drawing Kenny as a chubby man is so cathartic, my boy deserves the pounds!!! (and good anatomy practice to boot)

I also threw in some other sketches cos I think I wont finish them and it would be a waste to let em rot, I do like how they turned out. Also, if you recognize the one with Mysterion and Chaos sitting back to back, then you’re a real og here.

[vlyapewi]

KING ORANGE & PURPLE (My Designs)

[corrosive-equilibrium]

Concept art

Danny making the hardest decision at the end of Forgiveness vs Revenge arc versus Danny making the hardest decision in the beginning of Hope vs Hatred arc.

(Full design here)

[shrimpchipsss]

the professors shen should never have been forced to share an office

wasn't professor shen the senior being associate professor shen the junior's PhD advisor enough?

[this-vs-that]

This question was sent to our inbox. If you’d like for us to post a This or That poll for you, send the 2 things you want to see against each other to our inbox and we’ll let the people decide which one they prefer. Everything will be anonymous.

[karvviie]

🎶he’s a killer he’s a monster he’s an absolute tool🎶

[strewwwberry]

Bingmei being the taller, more muscular, smoother skined and softer, well kept haired compared to bingge thanks to sy making sure he's fed properly, sleeps etc during his teen years before abyssal arc (aka some of the most important years for growing up)

Just makes me feel so good and giggle so hard

Especially for the bingmei vs bingge extra

Imagine, your super sexy, hot, demon Lord, strong husband of you and many more, (possible) father to your children and fellow harem wives's as well, and leader to all, suddenly disappears and is replaced with his much more filial, loyal, seemingly stronger, even HOTTER copy?

Like bruh you thought you had it good with the hottest man in the worlds and all of a sudden his sexier copycat appears like what!???

[turtleblogatlast]

I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.

[notsofrozt]

[User_001 is not available at the moment]

I am completely and absolutely obsessed with @anachronismstellar's fic "Shang Qinghua vs the System". If you like BAMF SQH-centric fics, GO READ IT 🔫

PEAK FICTION PEAK EVERYTHING

Alternative version under the cut

[0ketinha]

heaheh, i hav gotten waay too silly

[maihnys]