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suffarustuffaru · 1 year ago

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why ottojuli would literally be the most toxic julius ship of all time (arc 8)

ok but i was talking about this recently with @deafknell and @mynameisrobiniamadumbass (a lot of the points in this analysis are due to them and also they really fed my brainrot aldsjflsjdflj so big thanks to them HAH) but julius and otto genuinely would be extremely toxic together. as of arc 8, their uglier traits have come to light, and being in each other’s presence has helped reveal that. (this analysis is also kind of building off my Other arc 8 ottojuli-related analysis here)

** im gonna analyze ottojulis relationship in CANON mainly, but i also analyze the possibility of romantic-leaning julisuba and ottosuba—either way, julisuba and ottosuba, platonic or not, are extremely important to both julius and ottos characters and how they interact with each other as well 👍

to start off—their relationships to subaru are quite literally almost the same dynamic in Very Different fonts. theyre subaru’s two closest male friends around his age, they both debuted in arc 3, got off on the wrong foot with him (julius dueling subaru vs otto pushing subaru off the wagon), but went out of their way to save him (again, julius dueling subaru to prevent him fromt being killed by other knights, otto trying to go back for subaru after pushing him off the wagon in arc 3 + otto in arc 4), and as/once they develop a friendship with subaru, its a tsundere + tsundere relationship where both sides end up bickering and teasing each other to show affection. you could even read julisuba and ottosuba as paralleling relationships—otto is the one being teased + getting flustered most of the time by subaru who is the one being teased + getting flustered most of the time by julius. and subaru brings out different sides to otto and julius too—for julius, he’s learning to gradually let go of his repression and not be so “perfect”… for otto, he’s developed a fixation on subaru, and it brings out More of his uglier traits.

subaru is someone that both julius and otto care deeply about even when subarus actions Repeatedly frustrate and even anger them. but because they care about him, they Want to be more gentle with him in their own ways. julius stays honest and tries to break the news to subaru about louis Without compromising on his own beliefs because its the awful truth that subaru needs to know (on top of trying to aid the emilia camp in vollachia in general). otto on the other hand, hides things from subaru and maneuvers events from behind the scenes for subarus sake. otto didnt plan on telling subaru something along the lines of what julius just said about louis needing to be dead, which is why otto gets pissed when julius flat out just tells the truth—subaru still needed to hear this, sooner or later, bc if he really wants to find a way to keep louis alive, he needs to be aware of the reality of the situation. but otto didnt agree with julius saying this regardless, which is likely bc otto feels julius ruined his plans on how he was going to handle the louis situation and/or otto is mad that julius made subaru upset.

so when otto and julius face each other, they’re strangers. they only know the other person as a friend of a friend (subaru), a merchant vs a knight. but unlike julius, who’s a knight through and through and yet is close to and wholeheartedly supports a merchant, otto is a merchant who’s always had a distaste for knightly ideals, and so HE’S the one who emphasizes this distance between himself and julius. this is even more interesting when you remember that julius, again, is a knight loyal to a merchant, while otto is a merchant who is loyal to a knight (subaru), so theres an interesting dichotomy going on there. but otto cant let go of his own beliefs, so he proceeds to place the same expectations that julius continues being boxed into—julius being the finest knight.

its even more important to remember that because julius’s name was erased, julius absolutely is even more of a stranger to otto. otto couldnt accompany subaru and other emilia camp members to the tower, and otto expressed his disapproval of the decision for them to even go to the tower in the first place (because he doesnt want them heading into danger again). on top of that, julius—a complete stranger—was accompanying them into the tower. ricardo entrusted anastasia to julius—a stranger—which is a decision that otto with all his paranoia could never do. and then julius comes back waltzing into vollachia and otto becomes frustrated.

julius apologizes to otto for interrupting in emilia camp affairs regarding louis, and he thinks otto is upset because he stole ottos role in the situation as internal affairs minister. but otto is really upset because he wouldnt have told subaru what julius just told subaru then about louis, despite the fact that subaru needs to learn this information (that louis will be found guilty by the world and Needs to be punished for her crimes). and julius knows that subaru needs to know this, which is why he said it. and its this misunderstanding between otto and julius that lets otto know, for certain, that julius really is like emilia and subaru. and its this realization about julius—that he walks in the light with otto’s friends—makes otto angry and frustrated and bitter enough to try and punch the wall and break his hand again.

this is also because theres a possibility that otto is jealous of julius. this post is a rarepair analysis too HAH so you could Definitely read it as otto being jealous of julius as well. because ottos anger, frustration, and bitterness towards julius mirrors arc 3 subaru’s behavior towards julius. otto and subaru were both pissed at julius for interfering as an “outsider”, and i think that, like subaru in arc 3, otto is upset at the idea of being left behind in the dust by julius in regards to subaru and emilia. julius is someone who can walk in the light with emilia and subaru, which is something otto cant do, and julius is a strong combatant thats especially useful for vollachia, which is yet another thing otto cant do, and julius agrees with otto on killing louis despite also being idealistic like emilia and subaru, which is something otto cant do. julius can have both—be with emilia and subaru while acknowledging that louis needs to die—and it angers otto, who not only needs to be needed but also is questioning his worth here in vollachia. julius throws a wrench in all of ottos issues and worsens it tenfold, Especially when you remember how similar otto can be to subaru. otto and subaru are stubborn, especially when it comes to their goals and beliefs, prone to sacrificing for the people they care about most, prone to keeping secrets, need to be needed, and question their own worth.

and also the way they get flustered when teased is Similar. theres that too. (which is yet another ottosuba vs julisuba parallel.)

but subaru was jealous of julius, so what about otto? well—otto is someone who might be prone to getting jealous. in an otto’s diary episode of breaktime season two, this happens:

(sorry about the timestamps at the bottom wkdndnd im too lazy to grab new screenshots)

so basically whats happening here is that otto hears emilia gush about subaru and tell stories about subaru to frederica, and otto feels envious listening to this. you could interpret that any way you want, but i think that the implication is that in this moment, otto is envious of emilia and subaru being so close to each other. you could also interpret it as otto being envious of emilia because HE wants to be closer with subaru, which i think is also entirely plausible because in this exact same scene, he notes:

the whole point of ALL otto’s diary episodes in breaktime season two is that otto is writing in his diary about all his experiences in arc 4, many of which involve his developing relationship with subaru. and theres no denying that by the time we get to arc 8, otto is now at LEAST a little bit fixated on subaru (ill go more into this soon). ottos now aware of julius and julius’s close relationship with subaru after all theyve gone through in arc 5 and 6, and so now otto is in direct competition with julius. physically, in terms of the difference in their physical power, politically, in terms of julius being part of the anastasia camp, and emotionally—in terms of julius being so close to subaru and being exactly what otto wants. otto wants to be useful. otto wants to have the power to accomplish his goals. he wants to walk alongside emilia and subaru, but he cant while julius easily can.

another important thing is that the key difference between julius and otto is that julius’s “ugly” traits are Barely even bad, while otto’s are far Worse.

and this is further highlighted by the fact that julius’s development in arc 6 mirrors otto’s current arc in arc 8. julius got so stuck in his head that he kept trying to fight his own idol over and over again, hurting himself repeatedly in the process, trying to prove he was useful because he needed to be needed while no one around him really needed him in the way he wanted. the only person he couldve depended on was subaru—until subaru forgot him. of course julius undergoes some development and subarus memory comes back, but julius still cant rely on others. julius Still depended on, needed, and hes there to help in vollachia while, as i said earlier, otto is questioning why hes even here if he has no use. because julius and otto cant depend on others. theyre depended on by many other people (otto playing a key supporting role to his camp), so theyre not allowed to falter.

but otto is faltering, while julius has managed to pick himself back up again even after arc 6. youd think that out of most people, julius is someone who would be able to understand how otto feels—ottos desperation to prove that he has a reason to be here and his desperation to prove his usefulness—but, as ive mentioned earlier, ottos flaws are glaring now. julius’s flaws are different—the gluttonies mention iirc that he was a little mean to his brother at points, which quite frankly isnt that bad especially when you remember how joshua is as a person + julius is Quite Literally an extremely good person otherwise, and then theres the fact that julius wants louis dead, which. yeah thats completely understandable after what louis did to him and his brother. and he most certainly is far from the only one to want louis dead. julius still has good intentions at heart, and he doesnt mean anything regarding louis lightly. in the ex novels, he feels guilty about balleroy (another enemy that julius fought) dying and wishes it didnt have to turn out this way. this is even more poignant when you remember that balleroy happens to be one of the dead that comes back as a zombie in arc 8. its a physical manifestation of julius’s guilt, and knowing julius, he will/likely does feel at least a little guilty about louis given 1. subaru cares about her and 2. she acts exactly like a little kid now.

as for otto—while being a realist is understandable, hes actively withholding information. he kept the tome secret for a year with the intention of restoring it just so HE can read the information in it and then destroy it afterwards so no one else gets to it. he didnt want to tell subaru that louis will likely need to be dead anyway. he doesnt voice his own desire to kill louis. he doesnt reveal his dps ability to read intent. he doesnt reveal that bc of his dp he knows louis is Innocent now. and other than actively withholding information, he outright says / tries to do things like the following quote:

julius doesnt want to hurt anyone. julius wants to save as many as he can and his last resort is hurting people—such as wanting louis dead. but for otto—if its necessary, no matter how morally wrong it is, he’ll do it for subaru and the emilia camp’s sakes. otto is actively malicious AND manipulative.

which is why i think otto is fixated on subaru. otto has a lot of parallels with arc 3 rem—otto was the second person to die for subaru, and the second person to give subaru an important arc-defining speech to uplift him. otto, like rem, is willing to do anything for subaru. except ottos definition of anything doesnt just mean risking his life for subaru. it also means that ottos willing to sacrifice almost anything and anyone else for subaru. otto in arc 8 straight up thinks this:

“his reason for being was to keep saying that the point of compromise subaru had found was unacceptable”—otto places his reason for existence, his reason for being here in vollachia, his purpose, and the reason why hes Needed, on opposing subaru. on doing the dirty work for subaru.

its interesting, then, that both otto and julius’s fights against gluttony in arc 5 mirror each other. julius loses his name because he gives it in battle. otto figures out how erasing works and instructs everyone else not to say his name. julius is injured by gluttony in that his name is gone. ottos legs are injured by gluttony. and when otto fights ley and julius fights roy respectively, ley impersonates rem and roy impersonates joshua.

i mentioned the otto/rem parallels already, but its poignant that joshua was the one roy chose—not only bc its confirmation to us and julius that joshua got eaten, but also in that joshuas relationship to julius is complicated. joshua hates julius. joshua has this massive inferiority complex regarding julius, because julius can accomplish all these things that joshua wants to accomplish but he cant, and yet joshua keeps this hidden by gaslighting himself and everyone around him by playing up the adoring younger brother to an EXTREME. not that joshua doesnt admire his brother, because joshua does, just that its messily tangled with the envy and resentment—but joshua hides all his feelings behind the adoring younger brother act. to otto, ley appeared as rem—another lover to subaru (apart from emilia of course, along with the fact that otto himself Does love subaru) that otto doesnt know at all and yet parallels heavily. to julius, roy appears as joshua—the brother julius has now forgotten, the brother that resents julius and is jealous of julius in a similar way to julius being jealous of reinhard. julius does parallel joshua, in some way, and he doesnt even know.

and if ottos jealous of julius now, it mirrors joshuas jealousy regarding julius. if you put julius and otto together, theres the potential that julius will unknowingly “ruin” otto in the way that he “ruined” joshua, placing even more pressure on julius while otto and joshua stay in the background, in the shadows, and grow bitter of everyone shining in the light. and as for otto, ive mentioned all the things that julius has above otto already, but heres one more—

you could interpret julisuba as a healthier version of ottosuba.

as ive stated earlier, ottosuba and julisuba have Parallels. and of course, im not saying that julisuba are perfect people either, but the thing about ottosuba is that—like otto as a character—it seems innocent at first. with julisuba, its derogatory at first—subaru is the aggressor and the party in the wrong, while julius is forced to publically beat him and humiliate him in order to save his life. but julisuba later grow a very close bond (with…. quite a lot of homoeroticism HAH). meanwhile with ottosuba its a little Less rough. apart from otto pushing subaru off the wagon in arc 3 (which again, ended in otto dying while he was trying to save subaru bc he regretted what he did), ottosuba stays more in the background until otto takes more action in arc 4. and when we get to know ottosubas developing friendship in arc 4, we agree with otto. otto, who tells subaru that theyre friends, who goes out of his way to help subaru, who snaps some sense into subaru and makes a plan with him to tackle the obstacles in arc 4. but the thing is, we knew ottos flaws from the start. he does whatever necessary to accomplish his goals even if its morally wrong (pushing subaru out of the wagon in arc 3). otto gets mad at subaru for being reckless, grows violent with subaru as a result, and helps subaru in any way he can whether subaru wants it or not (arc 4). but in arc 4, ottosuba seems more like a nice friendship. its a breath of fresh air to see someone go out of their way for subaru like this. and im not saying that ottosuba isnt a great relationship, but by the time we get to arc 8, theyre codependent. otto needs to be needed. otto needs subaru to stay alive and out of more trouble, so otto decides to do whatever it takes to do that. otto gets mad at julius for trying to interfere in that, and otto also gets mad at roswaal and proceeds to assume—in his paranoia and anger—that roswaal only wants otto to be less difficult so its easier for roswaal to complete his own scheming. ottos protective of subaru to the point where you could interpret it as obsessive /possessive.

julius, on the other hand, is honest with subaru, as ive said, about what will likely happen with louis. julius is honest. sincere. he refuses to ever betray his loved ones, but he also refuses to lie to them and be their yes man—because its for their own good. otto is not. otto is willing to lie and play dirty even with his own loved ones if he thinks its for their own good. like joshua, otto hides his true feelings on certain things until it bubbles up to the surface—which is why he ends up punching walls out of anger and stewing in his frustration. julius has morals and ideals that he wouldnt want to cross. julius hates the idea of even hurting people. otto has next to zero reservations about this, if not none. once he deems it necessary, if theres something stopping him from doing it, it definitely wont be himself.

and—just a quick mention of ottos possible jealousy again + julisubas homoeroticism (that is, by the way, acknowledged by canon in the form of reid thinking theyre boyfriends), if you want to interpret ottosuba as romantic as well, you could easily interpret part of ottos anger towards julius being the result of him wanting to be the only man around subarus age whos close to subaru. julius is a direct competitor in that aspect too. because otto is genuinely happy for emisuba, especially when theyre both his friends, so while he did get jealous over them (which is canon, according to ottos diary), he doesnt have a problem with them. meanwhile, julius is a complete stranger to otto that got to accompany subaru to the tower—as the one other guy in the party too, by the way—while otto couldnt because he was injured by ley, who was impersonating rem, another one of subarus romantic interests. otto is already mad that subarus chosen vollachia and louis over ottos desire to just choose their self preservation. julius is salt in the wound because to otto, subaru leaving for the tower kinda looks like subaru chose julius over otto—and then julius came to vollachia and reunited with subaru, which is more salt in ottos wounds.

and if you want to make this more messy, ottos admiration and endearment to subaru can easily be paralleled to julius admiring reinhard. subaru and reinhard already parallel in general, but otto and julius were quite literally pining (platonic or otherwise) for subaru and reinhard before those two even recognized otto and julius as friends. make of that what you will.

so additionally—like how julius could “ruin” otto, otto could “ruin” julius. julius can beat otto in a physical fight without breaking a sweat. but unlike subaru, otto has no morals holding him back and hes absolutely capable of figuring out how to beat julius psychologically. otto also has no problem using julius if he really needed to. additionally, if you happened to put otto in a situation where he had julius’s life in his hands and he could get away scot-free with just killing julius—theres a good chance that otto could go ahead with it to remove julius as a threat + cripple anastasia substantially. and, like subaru, otto is capable of really Testing julius’s patience. if you forced them together for long enough with the way their characters are in arc 8, julius very well could snap. julius and otto are both characters whove been dealing with a bunch of shit and are growing tired of it, especially julius. otto may be more volatile in comparison, but julius of course is only human and will crack a bit under the pressure. because otto would place all these standards on him that julius is always cursed to have—ottos already done that in arc 8 by just referring to julius as a knight and therefore his enemy. and thats on top of otto and julius’s relationships to subaru making this Already Complicated.

and if subaru saw two of his closest friends fighting like this, all three of them would be Very Upset about it.

regardless, anastasia camp and emilia camp relations in general are fascinating because at this point, with ottos whole Thing against the ana camp, julius + his friendships to emilia and subaru, and garf and mimi, the two factions are closely connected now. julius and otto though? yeah theyre a powder keg of a rarepair bc i think theyd end up strangling each other wkndjdndjd. and what i mean is that as a rarepair, julius and otto and subaru are in the weirdest most fucked love triangle of all time right now HAH.

also in this scenario—when anastasia finds out about otto messing with julius, otto is not gonna be safe.

#if this is too long to read heres the tldr: as of where otto and julius are as characters in arc 8 rn they could awaken SO MUCH of the worst #in each other fr.#and platonic or previously romantic or not ottojulisuba might just be in the worlds worst love triangle 👍👍👍👍#my other ottojulisuba post was foreshadowing to this gigantic post ig 😭😭😭 listen i was just laying in bed with my heating pad and then i got #possessed and wrote this. crying.#pls. my ottojuli agenda is so real rn pls believe me. otto is cursed to have the most derogatory relationships with every knight ever.#subaru. reinhard. julius.#rezero #otto suwen #julius juukulius #ottojuli would look st each other and be like ‘subaru im so much better for you than him hes literally insane :)’ and subarus like um wtf is #going on with you two.#im so predictable with my posts these days. cries.#arc 8 spoilers

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badbanaynas · 3 months ago

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SINCE IM HERE i wann agive my raw quick match ratings/thoughts!!!

willow / ishii vs kris / stoke: so fun!! i wish we had more intergender fighting , but tony is coward so... 💫💫.5

latter match: LOVE.. i love the wackiness of latter matches, i loveed loved loved lucha in it i love how much they're dragging out the eventual moment lucha eats christiAN. i also liked that pac, yuta, and claudio won, very different and fun! 💫💫💫💫

gauntlet match: this was pretty fun too! was hoping jay white would show up but ALAS... i was really into christian running in for another chance at a belt because he CANNOT be beltless. it was awesome.. i love him.. AND LUCHA....AUGH...i kno there was some disappointment that hangman didn't win but i also think there's this shared idea that hangman is the main character of the show and deserves everything.. like no he dont! he's MEAN! and there's a story being told with him obviously, it wasnt this one. 💫💫

tony vs mariah: this shit was SO GOOD, i dont know why it was SO early in the show tho? they def should have switched slots with the tbs match...anyways it was pretty emotional , the way it PAINED toni to fight mariah.. she still loves her despite it all, and mariah feels nothing.. YES! 💫💫💫💫

jericho vs hook: why do we keep letting jericho have matches in the main show? why don't we zero hour this bitch and eliminate him once and for ALL...? dont get me started on hook.. he's just not good, he has NO juice. there's no reason to want him to win his belt besides the fact that his dad created it. and if its so important to uphold the family legacy then why not.. like make it important? why not have taz be like ' im gonna disown you if you lose this belt again' or something? there's NO stakes and hook suplexes like he's gonna leap out of the ring bc he has NO CONTROL CAUSE HE'S FUCKING 2 PPOUNDS BUT FIGHTS LIKE HE's JUICED. i DID like him throwing the cricket balls tho, that was really funNY. 💫.5

bucks vs ftw vs acclaimed: daddy ass looked SO CUUUTEE ^_^! (NO STARS)

mjf vs ospreay: 90% of this match felt like we were in the middle of a commercial break... why were they on the ground so much. why where they SO WINDED.. very boring, ospreay's ADVERTISEMENT entrance STUNK as well. this whole feud just could have not happened and i think things would have been fine....see in the jericho and hook match i can at least name a moment i thought was fun .. not so much this match, just a whole DUD..glad we got to see danny again tho, i know he WILL SLAY. 💫

britt vs mercedes: i anticipated this one the most cause i wanted to see if mercedes could carry britt to a decent match.. but it seems when you're working with someone as limp as THE DENTIST , it's just impossible. i feel bad for mercedes because she deserves better than to have the DMD thrown onto her lap like that. im glad she retained but i dont think these two will have another feud for a while...TO THE PERFORMANCE CENTER BRITTANY!! 💫 ( all stars are for merecedes)

jack vs darby: UGHH i wanted to love this one but it was just too short! this felt like being edged and then just getting over with the rest.. everything that happened was fun and good but it all just hAPPENED AND THEN ENDED. i dont like darby at all, but it didnt make darby look too good. he wasnt the challenge that he made himself out to be.. i dont blame either men because i truly think they were just rushed for time , because that's what it felt like. i am glad jack retained tho, he deserves it! i rthink the moment where the crowd starts doing his lil emote with him over the pile of glass was beautiful. a nice contrast to where he was last year at this time! im looking forward to who challenges him next, and i hope we see him more on tv now. >_> 💫💫

swerve vs brian: AUGH......SO GOOOD... swerve looked very pretty tonight, i loved his hair cuffs! bryan as always, just knows how to play a crowd he's a sicko that lives off upsetting people and i think thts really great :-)!! im glad bryan won, but i cant help but feel so sad when seeing swerve on the ground like that.. i wish swerve could have retained but i think thats what makes the match really good. you pick someone to root for and you can root for either of them honestly, both are great.. im glad it was bryan he lost the belt to than hangman honestLY...deducting points for no shaka khan tho... 💫💫💫💫

#YAYY BIG MEAT RATINGS...

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good-morning-tucson · 1 year ago

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LITTLE BABY THING A WEEK 2 REVIEW

flickr - i think this song is super silly. it sounds very somber and serious but its just images. thank you mr. coulton.

resolutions - everything about this song fills me with dread. just completely unavoidable stress. the fear of a new year combined with the slowed background and robotic voice does something to my head. and the counting. its like. oughhh. i can’t properly describe this songs effects on my psyche but know it Has Them.

you could be her - THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING REAL. i can feel everything the song sets up the main character to feel. all of the awful monotony and stuff. this song just reminds me of winter in the most evil way. somewhere theres a hell that was meant for me and i think ive found it #justgirlythings

i will - the only correct way to listen to the beatles

dance, soterios johnson, dance - he didnt have to go THIS hard. this one also makes me think of my foul best friend/gay lover aspen. i could fuck this song UP at karaoke. literally the most song ever. a never ever skip for me no matter the circumstances

so far so good - this is one of what i call “songs i want to listen to while slowly drifting out to the sea, drink in hand.” fills me with joy and hope but at the same time the deepest, saddest pit you’ve ever felt

curl - i think curl goes crazy despite being full red white and blue blooded american and having no interest in curling or canadians. i love it more when its live with paul and storm

chiron beta prime - my (tied) favorite joco song EVER. my first favorite joco song. chiron beta prime is very straightforward and has little room for interpretation to me but sometimes you NEED a good goofy lil sci fi song. the best. concert. ever. version with joco’s muppet laugh and andy bates is the best thing imaginable its joyous

take care of me - this song makes me really upset. he writes songs so real sometimes. he played that accordion solo for real himself i think

a talk with george - this song absolutely grew on me after hearing it live. made me really really really fucking emotional. the way he introduced it too was. ouuuughh the white man and his emotion provoking tunes. it makes my heart hurt

don’t talk to strangers - i don’t listen to this song enough. thank you dad joco

stroller town - i don’t think this song is real. i think i hallucinated this song entirely. i mean it’s not bad. his voice makes my brain go weird

re: your brains: i have the re: your brains shirt. anyway my best friend/divorced gay lover aspen have had many a conversation about the homosexual legitimacy of crazy dave and dr. zomboss from plants vs. zombies because of this song

thing a week 2 might be my favorite thing a week? i haven’t heard the others in a while so i’ll get back to you. but it does go INSANE. it’s got a ton of just amazing songs and some like. pretty good to okay songs. overall i love thing a week 2 so sweetly

#jonathan coulton #joco #thing a week 2

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alicentsgf · 2 years ago

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hi no worries if you did get this ask before, but i wanted to ask if you’d gotten something sent about the way the fandom treats otto vs the targ men like viserys and daemon? if u did and didnt feel like answering again no worries bcus ik you get a lot of awful shit in your ask/reblogs. i hope ur doing well and happy belated birthday! i love reading ur analysis!

hi thanks so much!!

i really feel otto is a hard character for most people to have strong feelings about. the general perspective people tend to have is that hes a kind of shitty person and the show presents him that way and we're not really encouraged to think of him with much complexity. for example i think he treated alicent Awfully, but i dont have as much workable hatred for him as viserys and daemon for the same reason i dont for aegon either - the show presents them as being in the wrong so its just not much fun to explore my dislike for them. but at the same time we dont have that insight into his experiences and emotions that makes aegon compelling.

a lot of the fandom, e.g. those who like viserys and/or daemon, will hate on otto a lot more vocally than i do, especially if they're sympathetic toward alicent, because they see all of whats happened as happening because otto instilled fear in alicent. but in my opinion he wasnt unfounded in those fears at all he was just a bit stupid with how he approached it all. and the fact hes shown himself to be very manipulative, especially towards alicent, allows for people to believe he was only manipulating alicent in that scene where hes leaving KL but, as i said, he Did have a genuine point about rhaenyra becoming a possible threat.

i think some people allow viserys and daemon to get away with more just because they're generally framed more positively and people dont question it too much. simple as that. plenty of people have pointed out corlys and otto have a fair few parallels but because of the framing we experience in their scenes we're given the space to develop wildly different perceptions of them. like otto doesnt even really express much emotion, the most he shows is some frustration with alicent maybe, and he doesnt have a confidante the way corlys has rhaenys so we dont have that opportunity to see him in an emotionally vulnerable moment or hear whats going on in his head.

atm the show hasnt really given him much humanity.... thats the truth. we dont see him looking actually upset about his wifes death. we don't see him express affection except to manipulate. the only moment of genuine humanity is when he seems to very proudly and genuinely praise helaena after her speech and i think thats why so many people (at least on this side of the fandom anyway) enjoyed that little moment - we do actually want to know him as an entire entity.

#otto hightower #hotd #ask #anon #hotd fandom

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asseater3k · 1 year ago

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Metal Gear Mania Day:5

At the time of writing I’m at the save screen after getting hit with 9 meaty electric god wind fists from a large Russian man I want try being less rambler for this one so I’m going to bullet out my talking points below the cut THESE WILL CONTAING SPOILERS FOR MGS 3 A GAME YOU SHOULD BE PLAYING IF YOU CAN

BOSS FIGHTS - I’ve faced three bosses today. The Fear, The End and The Fury all members of the cobra unit and all pretty fun I appreciate how open ended these boss fights are even between using Lethal vs non Lethal tactics each side has a plethora of tactics that you can use for example The End is set up so you can do a sniper wolf style snipers duel theres a room with an SVD and ammo in the arena and everything however I wanted his camo and didnt have a non lethal sniper so I had to go at it with a tranq pistol i feel like if I did this in some other games I’d be up a creek but here not only was I able to do it I had several ways of going about it you can terrace some animals use thermal goggles if you have them and even sneak up behind him which i was able to do once, The Fear is similar but I don’t have much to say as i cheesed him with fake death pill and stun grenade which worked shockingly well, The Fury is a lot less physically open than these taking place in a Vulcan raven style maze but the big storm drain looked cool and offered no less tactical depth, my one complaint thats very minor is that KOing The End doesn’t get you his camo just his myosin which is still a good pick up as its a non lethal sniper. I learned that to get his camo you actually have to hold him up three times which is it fine I’m just kinda bummed cause it turns out its a good ass camo. a lot of the stuff you get especially boss items seems to set you up for another playthrough which is kind of a thing throughout the game encouraging multiple play-throughs which is something I would be open to if I weren’t on a time crunch

THE BOSS- I noticed while comrade Kazuya was pushing my shit in boss got visibly upset by this on top of that she keeps insisting Colonel Mishima leave snake to her. It’s obvious she still cares for him in someway and she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who just defect to be on the other side so I dont think its just a lingering thing she has to get over on the side she beat my ass with powerful techniques twice already so I think theres something more its meta gear after all theres gotta be some crossed wires the only thing is that where I’m at now there seem to only be two major players 2.5 at best plus all this stuff with the “philosophers legacy” they bring up the philosopher’s super casually like I’m supposed to know them maybe it’s something from the MSX games but The Boss intrigues me I dont think she just out and out switched sides and I don’t really want to kill her we’ll see I guess

#metalgearmania #mgs3 spoilers

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pinkadork · 8 months ago

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One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

#pinkadorkdiaries #bpd vent #breakup vent

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horrorsequel · 11 months ago

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ranting abt my dumbass sister again

my sister told my mom that she wanted to clean our house for money and my mom was like oh as her if she can help you clean your room. cos my room really needs it cos im disabled and no one ever helps me clean and im in too much pain to do it myself. so i did ask her and i said i would even help her. and she was like no, i just wanted to do some little chores around the house for mom. and i was like. yeah well mom is the one who told me to ask. and then she was like trying to make me feel guilty for even asking by saying it made her uncomfortable . but like which part, girl?

and like ok if anyone else said that to me i would find it to be a satisfactory enough explanation tho it would be driving me nuts which part is making them uncomfortable (which it is doing with my sister. which part of this is she supposed to be upset abt)

but like i know my sister and i know the type of wording she uses when shes being truthful vs lying and trying to manipulate you so that you dont investigate her lies. so i know when she says here that shes Uncomfortable she really means that she doesnt want to actually do any work she considers difficult and instead wants to charge my mom insane prices to do work she considers easy/likes to do, like washing dishes and dusting.

which we dont even need rn but im sure my mom paid her to do anyway.

like oh cool you didnt wanna help ypur disabled brother cos you didnt wanna do any real work . fuck off.

i know from outside perspectives it seems like im a paranoid freak or something but i have known this woman my whole life. and for most of it, i was the only person around for her to actually talk to abt her thoughts and feelings. so i know all the ick. she still does it sometimes, atill reveals to me her methods of manipulation even tho i know shes gonna forget and try to use them on me again eventually. god shes really insanely good at lying to herself so she finds ways to justify anything she ever does. and any story she tells goes thrpugh many drafts before she settles on whatever makes her sound the coolest and i know this cos i used to have to hear her tell every fucking version until she figured out one she liked. and she would tell these stories and forget i was there for them and i knew how much she was lying

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nuctua-larc · 1 year ago

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GAHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS THANK YOU!!!! I wasn't TOO surprised about all the davejade hate mostly because girl in the way of gay ship is a cardinal sin(apparently??) and the epilogues did NOT help matters. Plus theres all the Jade plot being shoved to the side in canon on top of fandoms general idea that bi characters can say theyre bi but if they express attraction to the opposite gender theyre no longer?? Bi?? idk about all of it but the point is I was SO glad to see a fellow davejade shipper,, our community is small but mighty.

Anyways all that to be said Im gonna try to give this the same amount of effort!(still so happy seeing this giant ass response to my ask like!!! i win. ive won) Also...This is not going to be near as comprehensible as yours is the tagents are immense, just a warning.

1. Frog breeding

Ok first off I gotta say that I love the flower breeding analogy going on here it really does help put the genesis frog mission into perspective!!

Its definitely... very odd how they didnt really elaborate on anything that happened with that mission. Honestly during my first readthrough I didnt see ANY of it. And this was mostly because I read the entire comic in one sitting and at that point was a little tired and didnt realize I was supposed to click on the pictures, plus I just didn't notice the banner(which I typically still dont, and have to go back everytime I get to it). I think a big issue the webcomic has for me is that while it is rather long it tends to put the focus on the wrong things.

We've got things explained through sprite prototyping, the sylladex, and moduses. A lot of the games mechanics are explained in an insane amount of detail, and yet, one of the most important aspects of the game(quests, genesis frog). I mean, Rose doesn't even get to look into the quest at all. Unlike most forms of media Homestuck doesn't any sort of time limit--no season deal, chapter limit, nothing tying it to being a certain length. Thats why its able to have extended wacky hijinks! And while I do appreciate the slow silly parts, or at least, I know that the parts I find boring someone appreciates, theres also a lot of unutilized space for them to actually SHOW us the important parts they left out. And yes, Im saying homestuck shouldve been longer. This is the hill I will die on.

Anyways, all that being said the whole idea of Dave constantly groundhog day-ing the game, reliving the same hour or minute over and over to make the game successful is just... SUCH an interesting concept. Not to point out the sollux parallels but pulling double-duty is something of a theme with him.

The day itself is a constant. The trolls pester them at the same times no matter what, John goes off on his own to godtier, Rose destroys her planet and goes grimdark, and Jade works to create the new universe. People die when they have to, they do what they have to, and he can't do anything more than preserve the best course of action. Even if that means Jade has to kill the first person she's seen since she was four, even if that means He can't hug her before she has to do it. Again the CONCEPT is wonderful, and we hear other characters tell us about it, with karkat mentioning her freakout and dave mentioning how he didn't want to upset her, but we're never SHOWN it.

Number one priority in a hypothetical alt comic, let these touch starved kids hug

2. Davejade vs Jack

If I'm being honest here, the dynamic with Jack Noir and these two is just...so underutilized. They had Jade fight the two superdogs in the finale. Well...fight as a loose term here, in all honesty she flew around for a bit before getting punched into the ground, but in general while all the beta kids have a connection, narratively Jade and Dave have the biggest to me. For jade theres the obvious connection with Bec, all three are tied via the first gaurdian, abilities and care for one another, and I do genuinely like the weakness they gave Jack in that he just. Cant hurt her. Dave's connection is through Jade, with their first fight in the banner and my personal favorite fight sequence with him defending her in the game over timeline.

It just...felt like these two things were introduced, the idea that every time they meet he dies, the whole self sacrificial situation he keeps putting himself in and the tragedy of hypothetical survivors guilt even if hes still alive. One of many plot points introduced with no real conclusion because they never really TALK about it. Personally I would've loved to see her genuinely fight Jack. Maybe she teams up with Peregrine against Jack or maybe she just kicks ass on her own idk. Let her get revenge!! Or maybe even...idk....show the freakout after he dies? You know? Because if something big happens that has a heavy effect on one of your main characters you should...show it?

3. Grimbark

I'm not gonna lie...grimbark makes no sense to me. Grimdark in general makes no sense to me, especially in the context of Jade versus Rose. With Rose, it was the overtaking of a great darkness, a loss in humanity and a sole focus on rage and destruction powered by grief. While she'd been destroying the game prior to this, slowly allowing herself to succumb to the horrorterrors in a misguided effort of finding information, the death of her mother causes the big switch in her completely abandoning restraint and forethought.

It manifests in her being unable to speak, at least in that of any human language. She's angry and focused on nothing else but her revenge against Jack, a decision that leads to her demise.

In contrast to hers Jade is perfectly capable of speech, her 'switch' is triggered by the Condencse without any emotional reason(which is a small gripe, I'm fine with the mind control situation. However it would've been a little nice if there had been a prior snap moment for her that allowed for the grimbark thing to happen). She too acts violently without speaking, in this case to serve the Condensce's will. However I think the issue here is that unlike Jane's robo-mind control, grimdark never really felt completely divorced from the character. Jade in her grimbark form is just...so fundamentally different from Jade that I can't even imagine a scenario in which she would be pushed to act like that.

Personally I would've enjoyed a more emotional shutdown situation. Witches and Seers are(not sure if canon or not but in general) very opposite classes. Witches are a class that takes action while Seers are the ones to plan. So for Jade instead of a one track mind of grief induced rage, maybe it's cold calculation, brought on by constant isolation. Jade's been through a lot, and even in the game over timeline where Davesprite is there and John's alive she still seems...lonely.

And during the game over plotline I kind of would've liked to see Jade successfully get revived! First off because for a proper retcon where each group has its own issues leading up to the final battle, having all three perspectives present(Terezi for the meteor, Roxy for the alphas, Jade for the ship, and then John going through with all the plans) would be helpful...I also just want some sort of reaction to his death. It's the second time it's happened and maybe then we'd have an opportunity to *see* how that had hurt her the first time. Eventually I wanna write out an alt game over situation...give this girl sme FOCUS! she deserves it!

4. Music!!

[cracks knuckles] ok. so I actually have a lot of thoughts on this. First off, that post has been living in my mind, cat rotating in microwave style for a hot minute(btw seeing you reblog my tags,,, I keep winning >:000!!!). Second off music theory and music in general is a bit of an obsession of mine so imma elaborate way more than is really necessary.

Their band name is SpaceTime Continuum. The opportunity is right there, how can you NOT. I absolutely love the idea of lead vocals\woodwinds jade and the robots being bass and guitar respectively. And I said this before but Dave is so percussion to me. That man is BUILT for the drums let him POP OFF!!

But also I love the idea that like...during the three year timeskip they both react to the boredom by learning new instruments. And then they meet up after everythings said and done and they're like wait..we both ended up learning instruments that compliment each other really well. So like, Dave picks up the drums of course, and a bunch of other percussion based instruments, but then it'd also be fun if he like...picked up the trombone or something. He seems like a brass guy to me. Also...lowkey seems like an acoustic guy to me. Like he's chords/fingerpicking on acoustic to Jade's melodies and badass solos on electric! And the further complimenting going on in that she's a bass player that matches well with percussion(linking song here as an example to the fuckery they could do here)

And then more with woodwinds and brass matching well together like they naturally gravitate towards things that compliment!! Also vocally I like the idea of duets, her taking the lead vocally while Dave does harmonies. As far as general sound SOLELY for vocals not so much for vibes the Civil Wars comes to mind(dave cannot escape the country vibes).

And the time player powers can and SHOULD be exploited for the sake of harmonies the possibilities are endless here.

When it comes to character arcs them being in a band would be good for them…they both have a love for making music, sure, but also it would give Jade the connection she’s never been able to have before. For me there’s not greater connection to someone than to jam out on some musical collaboration. My best friendships are made through people who I sing with. Then for dave, being raised for the express purpose of battle, being able to completely divorce from that and do something thats just…fun, that doesn’t serve any greater purpose. It’d be!! So good!

OK OK SO!!

First off!!! Hello fellow davejade enjoyer i see you. Second off—what sort of things do you wish you could’ve seen with these two in canon :0. Could be expansion on canon scene, arc direction, or just a new scene entirely. for me personally I would’ve loved to see some genuine fighting collaboration going on. I felt VERY teased with all the magic combo’s in collide.

Third! I know they do a lot of music collaboration in canon, and I’ve seen some things with them making a band together post canon. What sort of sound do you think they’d have/what artist do you think they’d sound like?

Thank you :))

okay god theres so much i wish was expanded on in canon with regard to dave and jade

this post is swan dive into homestuck meta and took me over a day to write. so i would appreciate feedback or discussion on this if you'd like, reblogs appreciated!

despite this question being posed as davejade related, my answers here are actually relevant for anyone interested in homestuck meta as well.

it’s just recently come to my attention that there are a a handful of people on twitter who are vocal davejade dislikers. i didnt know it was actually disliked until i looked it up on twitter, i honestly thought it was a joke blown out of proportion but no they exist! it surprised me a lot to see people think they "lack chemistry". not only because knowing what i know about them thats a ridiculous insinuation, but also i haven't seen the vitriol on tumblr. probably because we can actually poast about it on here in an unabridged manner which thus enables better, deeper critical analysis and engagement with the media. i think also people forget that dave strider is canonically bisexual and are too yaoipilled + facing the consequences of the epilogues to even give davejade a serious look/analysis. (dave dates terezi and karkat in separate timelines, thinks jane is hot, thinks roxy is a babe but shoves it down when he discovers she’s his ectomom lmfao. davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dated jade! but i'm going to cover that in more depth in this post since theres a lot of misunderstandings about the nature of that relationship in fanon.)

(as a side note according to what some people have told me in inbox and what ive seen lol i think that ive been inadvertently been getting people into davejade. it's all in my davejade tag here in chronological order if you'd like to get a Whiff. be sure to read the tags on posts in there too!)

even though theres a lot in this post as it is, it doesn't cover everything ive talked about wrt davejade, and i think it would benefit readers to have complementary posts alongside this for the full picture with stuff it doesn't cover. there's a ton about why theyre cute and why i think they work well together in that tag.

here's some highlight analysis posts, but be sure to check the tag because there's a more in there:

post a / post b / post c / post d / post e / post f (← one of my favorite ask responses ive ever gotten)

i think a huge chunk of the issue has to do with how the narrative handles dave and jade. one of the most damning things to me is how glossed over their canon interactions were in act 5 despite them collaborating on one of the most important things in the story. i haven't talked about this yet but i'm going to do so here. because they’re put on the backburner by the focus of the narrative during act 5, people who don’t read carefully will miss the implications that are there all along in canon but easily passed over.

under the cut ive separated it into multiple parts

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

this is an analysis examining apart exactly what jade and dave did while frog breeding. i wrote it while high which was extremely enlightening and it allowed me to comprehend it and hopefully explain it in an understandable way. i also discuss how shitty the lack of on-screen communication between jade and dave was for this part and the next.

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

ive discussed this one before on my blog so it's not as dense (see davejade tag). but i still sewed the gifs together and discuss how unfortunate this was to be be delegated to a banner at the top of mspa and the neglect of that whole arc despite the outcomes of it being reissued by characters thousands of pages later

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

i get into davesprite's head here and try to make his motivations about the breakup clear to the extent that i can infer because jesus fuck i love these characters way too much ive known them for a decade i understand their core personality structures and why they think what they do and what is most likely to happen when extrapolating. not to toot my own horn btw .. but what im saying is i am confident in my interpretation based on canon. i also talk about how grimbark jade changed the way the fandom perceives their relationship, leaving davejade on a low note instead of a high note. and then hs epilogues had even worse consequences for davejade but i wont get into it because it was character assassination all around and doesnt deserve my time or yours. but if you wanna know what i think, here

4. The music question

where actually answer this ask like it's an ask and not an essay

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

i wish we could have seen what collecting frogs entailed for the two of them. what exactly were they doing? jade’s quest is one of the most interesting.

before i start i want to take a tangent and say the frog breeding reminds me of back in 2020-2021 when i would breed hybrid flowers in animal crossing new horizons to get a very specific gene sequence for these flowers to not only use to breed for hybrids, but to get known gene sequences that i could use to “check” the genes of other flowers. the goal is to get two parent flowers whose sequences when bred would make a specific phenotype 100% of the time.

this sounds complicated but here’s what i did for the lilies:

(“rare island” refers to one of the first acnh patches that removed a nook miles island from the pool that had hybrid versions of your native flower of very specific phenotypes for each color. i wrote out the breeding chains to get parents that would always breed that exact flower found on the rare hybrid nmt island that is no longer available.)

the cleanup ALL TO GET the white 2-2-2 lily looked like this. and after i got white 2-2-2 lily it was smooth sailing

after all that i could use the orange 2-2-0 lilies and white 2-2-2 lilies made in the black lily process and get rare island orange 2-2-1 lilies 100% of the time. in mendelian genetics these numbers (2-2-1) are quite literally RR-YY-Ww.

RR-YY-ww (orange) x RR-YY-WW (white) = RR-YY-Ww (orange: heterozygous Ww gene)

and all that effort into getting white 2-2-2 lilies enables me to get it over and over again now. i don’t have to repeat that process to get rare island pink lilies. all i need to do for the pink 2-0-2 lilies is breed two default bag red lilies (2-0-1) together. 50% will be red (2-0-1) lilies, 25% will be black 2-0-0 lilies, and the last 25% will be pink (2-0-2) lilies.

anyway sorry back to the main point. FROG BREEDING. it just reminded me of it. now that i think of it the frog breeding process also reminds me a lot of artbreeder back from when AI was only a fun little toy 4-5 years ago

ok so have a look at what kanaya says about what jade must do. this is the coolest quest imo because of how it progresses and how long it actually is

here’s how it works. remember back in act 2, when the wayward vagabond needed to tie a longer cable to descend down the ship (and refused to give up the ones that made up his mayoral sash)? he used the appearifier in the ship to appearify the extra cable across the gap to his location? that’s how the appearifier normally works when when it’s locked to the present. it’s very straightforward.

when jade appearifies a frozen frog, it shows us this exact thing. she appearified the actual frog itself (the same way WV appearified the actual cable across the gap) to her exact location. it can get the frog out of the ice in the way WV could untrap serenity from the amber. if something’s destiny wouldn’t otherwise be changed, it will not be paradoxified, it will just simply itself be warped to that location, with precise carving if it is somehow trapped inside of something else.

if you could appearify it to your location right now, you wouldnt be able to take it out the appearifier’s crosshairs in person later to alter its destiny because the object won’t be there at that time. it wouldve been with you the entire time. unless you decide to take the appearified item back to that location so that you could appearify it in the past, but that’s the most pointless time loop ever and doesn’t change its destiny.

for this icicle frog jade and dave weren’t capable of changing its destiny anyway, because it was completely encased in ice, and just didn’t bother to go after it. partially because it was with jade at the appearifier the entire time anyway and she can’t exactly put it back in there in the future. the point is, besides jade appearifying it to her location, the frog had no other possible routes of destiny. in that part of lofaf where she appearified the frozen frog from, the ice is too deep to get anything out of it (other than appearifying it) and i’m not sure the forge would have melted it in time before their reckoning ended anyway.

the goal of jade and dave is to target frogs on the appearifier screen and trust that their future selves follow through in altering the frog’s destiny. if so, then the frog’s paradox slime will appear instead and its genes would be collected in addition to creating offspring between multiple paradox clone frog genes. then, dave and jade would necessarily have to go out adventuring and find the frog so that they end up following through for their past selves.

if i understand correctly, jade is creating all the frogs on her planet that grow up with manually modified genes. these frogs must be genetically altered from their parents so that the frogs she creates don’t grow up to become one of their parents (as they’d be identical). the mutant offspring frogs “generation A” she ectobiologizes will eventually mature from tadpoles to frogs, assisted by dave’s time travel. then she will eventually target “generation A” with the appearifier to get their paradox slime to fuse with some other frogs’ paradox slime and create new slightly altered frogs “generation B” (and then follow through on altering the “generation A” frogs’ destiny so their slime and genes can be paradoxified by jade and dave’s past selves). repeat until the genes are fine tuned for the genesis frog.

this is why i compared it to my breeding in animal crossing. getting the genesis frog reminds me of the blue rose paths. i worked with the garden council back in the day and i used backwardsN’s “cesspool” method, except i honestly gotta say my white 2-2-2 lily thing was much more involved and carefully maneuvered in a way that i imagine frog breeding is more like. backwardsN’s “genepool method” was basically making a red-orange-black rose primordial soup and waiting for a blue rose to emerge out of it, just increasing the chances seeing a blue rose sprout the next day after watering with each generation of offspring. you KNOW my ass was using time travel, even if i happened to get lucky and got a blue rose without even finishing the big turtle plot. without time travel, most players (95%) will get their first blue rose before these # of days. (open up advanced tag)

there must be so many daves running around to help her going back in time all within the span of a few hours while still having their own linear, older timelines that are much longer than the “time stage” they’re actually functioning in. this sounds complicated but it’s not. think of this “time stage” as analogous to the 3 days until the moon falls in majoras mask. it’s the “time window” all the time travel takes place within, but link doesn’t become a day younger when he travels to a day ago. the timeline of his “self” is older but is kept within the confines of the 3-day timeframe. similarly, in tears of the kingdom, two master swords exist simultaneously for most of history, but the one on the light dragon’s head (who was above the cloud barrier before the upheaval btw) is further ahead on its own linear timeline: it starts as the other, pre-gloomed master sword → broken by gloom → sent to the past to be repaired → renewed over time, existing at the same time on the “time stage” as its own pre-gloomed past self but ahead on its own linear timeline

now imagine this but within the “time stage” of just a few hours on 4/13/2009. kanaya says frog breeding ordinarily takes weeks. multiple daves can exist simultaneously because they’re operating in the same few-hour-timeframe but one can linearly be days ahead of another. it’s the exact same thing as breeding flowers in animal crossing for irl days but to your game it’s whatever date you have it set to. your irl progress isn’t lost if you go back a few days in settings. i’d often find a week in june to use as a “time stage” to loop through when it would rain at least one hour on each day of that week which would save me the hassle of watering my flowers every day before time traveling to the next.

it must’ve sucked for dave to hear jade say the same things over and over again. the novelty probably wore off pretty fast lol…… dave says he saw his future self fighting and dying to jack and knew that’s what he’d eventually have to do as well. every single dave at all points of his linear timeline understood that and it probably settled something horrible into his heart.

im imagining during the original run dave was thinking to himself: “im bored but cant alter anything about this without creating a doomed timeline. if i dont see my future self hugging jade then i cant hug her even though i really fuckin want to. note to future self: hug jade. aww shit look at me go guess i remembered. hell fucking yes cant wait for that to be me in a few hours” and gives a thumbs up

future dave pov, hugging jade and watching his past self give him a thumbs up from afar thinking to himself: “ahaha i remember exactly what i was thinking there” and gives a thumbs up

but anyway. goddamn. JADE AND DAVE. what did hussie do to you.

this is a goddamn atrocity.. what the hell man. i wish we could have at LEAST seen the text file jade sent to kanaya. we got to see ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt but not daveisafunnyguy.txt?

i mean i GUESS the humor is delivered through this

and like, yeah that is pretty funny? but i feel like the single laugh this gives me is nothing compared to the joy i wouldve gotten out of seeing what dave has to say about the cloning apparatus for ants here and talking himself into circles about frog procreation enough to make not just gigglehouse jade laugh, but kanaya too

we spent so much time learning about the mechanics of the punch designix and hardly anything about creating the seed of the actual new universe. we learn about it through kanaya and karkat messaging jade, instead of dave and jade working that out through SHENANIGANS. even though this is JADE AND DAVE'S session. it’s fine that kanaya is helping them, as she should, but we’ve seen parallel pesterlog conversations before so i dont get why we didn’t get that here! jade and dave frog breeding is one of the most important events in homestuck, and yet it was terribly glossed over. everything in the story, their futures, are predicated on their success. not just in their unwinnable session, but the one they split up for 3 years and escape to.

at first i thought, maybe their lack of shown interaction has to do with hussie working out the intricacies of pesterlog/dialogue thing? as he once stated on tumblr:

shoshaumbay asked: In the intermission of act 6, it says that they get to talk. Does this mean that their guardians couldn’t talk to them before and that is why they left them notes all around their houses? The achievement badge only upgraded their ability to speak to each other as presented through the comic. I.e. it permitted them to speak to each other… WHILE WE WATCH! Do you think all the trolls were hanging out together, not talking at all? Or Dave and Jade were doing all that frog hunting without a single peep?? That’s ridiculous. On the other hand, abstraction weaves itself through the Homestuck reality, and it can be hard to pin down where abstraction is to be taken literally. The truth is, there is not much distinction between the layers of abstraction and the reality they are meant to stand for. John was both literally named on his 13th birthday, and not quite, because that’s silly. The guardians are both literally silent automatons, and not really, as there is indication through allusion they function as normal people too. And the kids went through a huge adventure, achieved immortal god status, and even then had to gain a few more levels just to gain the achievement of simple dialogue as a literal upgrade, as well as not literally, because that makes no sense. The reality is inseparable from the way the story is presented and the way the “game” is played. But those abstractions are also a facade for a more life-like reality beneath it as well.

then i realized, this is not only an arbitrary cop out that affects my enjoyment of the comic in retrospect because they wind up being able to talk later anyway and that makes me feel cheated in these moments, but also still actually awful within these parameters because hussie breaks his own rule here, proving he could have shown us dave and jade talking in person at any time regardless of needing the gift of gab achievement for us to watch them as readers. recall this is also the first time john and rose met in person (at least when rose wasn't asleep):

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

this is where i take out my frustration over this being delegated to a banner at the top to the point where readers forgot it occurred.

youtube

i wish their time on lofaf frog breeding and fighting with jack was front and center and wasnt just in the banner at the top of the page. it makes it seem not as important when it completely was, considering that characters brought up what had happened in that scene multiple times.

it is significant because it is at that point that jack noir has killed all of the kids at least once. the only one left being jade who he refuses to kill due to bec’s loyalty

THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE (foreshadowing)

jack noir killed john on his quest bed which allowed him to ascend to god tier. then he killed john AGAIN but it wasn’t a heroic or just death so john was revived

jack killed grimdark rose. john smooched rose’s corpse, allowing her to take over on derse.

jack killed dave by redirecting jade’s bullets into dave’s body instead. jade smooched dave’s corpse, allowing him to take over on derse.

after jade shoots him through jack, he’s down for the count. she kisses him and he wakes up on derse; all he and rose have left of “themselves” in an existential sense are their dreamselves. they didnt know they were going to ascend to god tier delivering the tumor. they assumed they were just going to die like for real and not come back which is why dave went with rose since he didnt want her to die alone.

it was also an important point since her time spent with dave on lofaf is the first in-person contact jade has had with another living human since she was probably 4 years old with her grandpa.

for jack noir, we got [s] seer: desend and [S] ==> (3696) which were hella impactful. seeing jade and dave essentially go through the same thing but with an extended battle sequence honestly kinda warrants a flash in my mind. (the sad thing is that unite synchronization was originally written with those pages in mind (the track was originally called redshift) but of course malcolm brown couldnt have known what was going to happen unless hussie commissioned him for a specific track for a specific story beat, probably like whatever he did to coordinate cascade’s music with toby ahead of the 10/25/11 release of the flash and publication of volume 8 on bandcamp)

i think one of the worst parts is that entire conversations were referenced, but cut or never written.

this is a real forgotten homestuck fact: jade was completely freaking out after filling dave with bullets until karkat had talked her through it. very easily forgotten since even though it being referenced twice we never actually saw the conversation. (i overrode the black scratch background so it's easier to read)

wow thats so crazy i as a member of the audience dont in fact remember! would it have killed to write it my guy

and we find out thousands of pages later dave was thinking more about how it wouldve made jade feel to watch him die than knowing he was about to fucking die. if you even care btw

i wrote more about this here

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dates jade but breaks up because he feels inadequate at being the dave that he thinks jade deserves. NOT because they fought or anything. they were still on good terms. davesprite just felt inherently unlovable. john seemed more upset about the breakup frankly.

what davesprite did was because he thought it was in jade's best interest. there is nothing to suggest it was a fight / clash break up. they still seemed to be on good terms, davesprite asking where she went and all. jade says the breakup “is complicated” and “hes going through a lot of stuff”. given the context i think it's reasonable to assume that davesprite's thought process was: “we're coming up to the new session soon and youre going to meet up with dave again and i dont want to make shit awkward with you dating knockoff dave. you deserve to be with real dave instead so im gonna cut what we have going here in advance and distance myself from your life”

jade probably protested about saying how he's just as real as “real dave”, but davesprite made his decision already. im sure it wasnt easy for davesprite to break up either. with emotions running high (sadness, not anger) he probably just left to be alone and distance himself from jade, and seems to harbor guilt about it as we see in the log. that's probably why he wasn't at john's movie party. this is just speculation on my part but it doesnt seem in character for the breakup to be explosive because jade seemed more understanding than john. sad, but understanding.

i feel like a lot of people forget this. grimbark jade made it seem like davesprite did it to hurt her, or for this to mean that dave and jade are not actually good for each other, which is a wild mischaracterization of what happened but the one that stuck with the fandom nonetheless.

not only that, but davesprite's existence tragic and he's understandably depressed. after spending about a year in sburb (accounting for time travel) without john or jade, only to go back and give up your personhood to advance the alpha timeline and become forgotten is fucking crushing, and i think the breakup is also about davesprite coming to terms with that trauma, being okay with his existence as a sprite instead of being a bootleg stand-in for the dave that jade knew.

basically what vintagegamebro says,

it was such a tragic way for them to part for 3 years with no communication, and it was only proceeded by more tragedy because jade then had no one but davesprite to turn to, and davesprite needed anything but romance at that point

grimbark jade isn’t a good reflection of jade’s actual self. she pushed the mayor into lava for fucks sake which normal jade would never dream of doing, grimbark jade is straight up unhinged. i’m sure jade was hurt because all breakups hurt, but it was blown out of proportion (see how calm she was above a few days after the breakup?) because of Evilness. but also as @vintagegamebro mentioned it also felt somewhat … “off”? or out of left field? especially seeing what the nature of the breakup was from both sides in the above screenshots.

when dave says “theres no way i would have done that to you” i genuinely believe him. i have no reason not to believe him. look at him above asking for questions and clarification. thinking about how what davesprite did, a version of himself beyond his control and how it reflects on himself, i think it's obvious dave cares a lot about how jade feels about him

even after this confrontation in the game over timeline, dave laid down his fucking life to defend her corpse from the becs in he hope she could be revived by jane

and to think that after all this he still chose to save her, like always, probably knowing he had little to no chance, just because he cares for her, her life and who she is beyond this moment, really meant a lot for them. i really, really was mad that this would be the last time they would truly ever be together in a way that to me mattered

4. The music question

i wrote this post regarding instruments with this song in the back of my head if its anything. takes about 12 seconds to start after you press play for some reason

this too, closer to the “style”. i like imagining dave going apeshit on drums

#homestuck #davejade #reblog #maybe not the same length but i tried to put in as much thought and effort as you did #this made me SO HAPPY you have no idea #also clarifying in case the first bit ends up being seem by the wrong shipper i uh #i dont hate davekat i swear #i just really like jade

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puppetboysx3 · 2 years ago

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Matilda the Musical is my less favorite movie ever // ranting

if any of this is hard to understand , english isnt my main and i am not sober

I am a big musical fan , my started learning english because i fell in love with musical and because of my love for the Matilda (1996) movie , i had the vhs for it and it was one of the first movies i ever saw . I love this movie with all of my heart and i love the book its based off , so when i found out they had remade it i wanted to watch it . so i found it online and watched it one night well i was really tired , hoping that i would love this moive just as much as i did for the Matilda 1996 movie . th movie fucking sucked and i hated it so much that i have breakdowns every other week because i rememmber its real . they made to many changes to from one to the other , cut out a bunch of inportant stuff , changed and added characters, and thw worse thing of all they fucking removed Micheal (the brother) . micheal didnt add alot to the plot but added alot of motive to the characters , being the oldest and getting more care from his parents helps show that Matilda is neglected by her parents , showing the child that the parents love vs the one they hate shows alot of what Matilda doesnt want to be , which give a easy goal to think about until the plot picks up . they cut out the scene of the dad and Agatha with the car , where he learns about the school and gives Agatha a reason to dislike matilda straight away unlike in the 2022 movie where she just doesnt like matild . Agatha is given way to much forces , yes shes the villain but the 2022 movie makes her less of a villian and more just a poor out of luck soul , shes a good villian in the first moive because you dont feel bad for her and shes easy to hate , but in the 2022 version you start to feel bad for her story. i think the 2022 movie would work well if it wasnt a remake of the first moive, if you put the 2022 movie alone without putting it next to the 1996 one , its a decent movie , but the second you put it next to something like the 1996 verison its upsetting because it didnt need a remake , it was good , its a good movie , not a prefect one but a good movie nonetheless . the remake adds this traveling library instead of the the large public libary like in the 1996 one , the idea is ok but its not played off the greatest and generally i find it annoying , adding this character matilda could go to for help makes me not want her to win as much because they is lying when she could just ask something to this lady and have the chance of getting help but she doesnt , the world feels brighter and happyer in the 2022 version where in the 1996 it feels dark and isolated , as a child i could sympathize with matilda and see how she was struggling and i wanted her to win and be able to find a better life and the pay off was good , she got a better life . but with the 2022 movie she isnt really struggle , yeah its a bit sad but she seems mostly content with her life and not as resentful to her family , which just makes her happy ending bittersweet to me , cause it doesnt really feel all that earned . i migyht rant more about this today if i think of it again -OM

#rant post #movie ramblings #movie rant #matilda 1996 #i fucking hate matida 2022 #songs are decent ill rant about my feels on those later

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luckyfaeth · 6 years ago

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honestly i kind of wish i didnt like submerge myself in the marvel fandom so quickly bc while i love that a lot of the people i follow aren’t afraid to be critical of marvel and the choices they make! i think its really stressing me out because ultimately i just want to enjoy my trash movie for now and get critical later

#~#text #this is absolutely no shade at anyone #like these r really important things to talk about #and what kind of film major would i be if i didnt welcome these kinds of conversations #like i know for sure there are gonna be things in endgame i dont like #how can there not be!#but i really want to put that stuff aside for now #at least until i've had a while to digest it #like i already have a strong feeling that one thing i Really Want To Happen isnt going to #and im COPING #also just like in general. people are going to be unhappy with SOME ASPECT of endgame #and i think its important to keep in mind what is genuine criticism #vs just being upset that they didnt have something you really wanted #LONG STORY SHORT........#im probably going to try to avoid like ~endgame critical~ stuff for a while #thats part of why ive been so hellbent on avoiding spoielrs #because i dnt want it to ruin my fun #and have me be pissed throughout it #idk i have a lot going on rn and i think that anxiety is just leaking into every aspect of my life #l o l

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mueritos · 2 years ago

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hmngh. I have therapy today but Im going to bring up what I feel like are my autistic traits to my therapist. Inserting a read more cuz this got long, but if youre autistic, I would really appreciate some input/advice. This is just so long because I desperately am just searching for some sort of validation or anything really, but I guess its also practice to advocate for myself.

She has said in past sessions that if I were autistic i’d be too “high functioning”, but I didnt have the knowledge or words or the introspection then to explain myself better. Ive been reading, taking lots of tests, watching a lot of videos, and reading up on autistic experiences. I relate to quite a bit of it and it has been both validating and equally as confusing. I keep doubting myself at every little thing, like doesn’t everyone feel like this? But i am an introverted possibly autistic person surrounded by friends who are extroverts with adhd, and the differences in our experiences has always been normal to me through the “introvert vs extrovert” perspective. Still, I wore my noise cancelling headphones to a music festival in my home town when out with friends and I felt like it really helped me calm down from the noise and the massive amount of people. Ive been letting myself rock when Im doing things, even if my mom points it out and tells me to stop. Ive been saying no to social gatherings for months now under the guise of “i have work to do”, but really its because I genuinely don’t know how to talk to people when its more than 3 of us in a gathering. I end up getting overwhelmed when people are talking over each other, and its always been worse when they’re drinking. I can handle my extrovert friends sober, but drunk is another story. Suddenly I feel the urge to cover my ears when someone says something a little too loud, I cringe when they speak over each other. I’ve had past experiences of people being excited/loud and I want to cringe from the noise and cover my ears, but I can’t because that would look rude. I don’t express myself the same way as others, and I am constantly confused by questions like “are you excited for __?” or “are you sad to be leaving ___?” No? I’m not, I genuinely don’t know what excitement feels like. I like when things have a start and an end, and I will never feel sad for something to end. I’ve stumped my friends and family when I told them I didn’t feel anything toward studying abroad, toward university, etc and etc. Sure I can feel momentary excitement and happiness, but it’s always been internal. I stress when I receive gifts because I worry I don’t look happy enough.

Like...it’s not normal for people to become irrationally angry or agitated when people burst into my room while Im drawing, right? It breaks my focus, and it’s so frustrating because now I can’t go back to what I was doing. I get irrationally angry when people express their happiness or excitement, because I don’t understand it. It confuses me, like why can’t you keep that inside like me? The last time I expressed true happiness was when I saw an email for a potential client, and I stared shaking my hands. It felt so good, but I would never do that in front of other people. “I’m excited” isn’t even part of my vocabulary is what I say often, but it’s true. It doesnt make sense to me to let everyone in the room know how im feeling. My emotions are very stagnant and I often don’t feel what I am actually feeling until theyre at extremes. I struggle with eating on time or if theres no routine. It’s why summer has always been the worst for me, because theres no longer classes or planned breaks for me to follow. I have mental schedules for each day and if they don’t get done or are disrupted, I get really upset because I expected for things to be done. I wasn’t always good at group work, and I had to learn really hard to be a good leader and not take control of everything. Most of my language and body language is based off what I learned from watching TV, and I remember struggling to be understood by others because of that and because of my speech impediment, which I still struggle with now. I remember getting in trouble in school over things that I thought were socially acceptable because I saw them being done in shows, like being “mean” to people. I followed rules very strictly and other kids found me annoying for it because I would snitch on them for it. I only really ever had one close friend up to high school, where thankfully I found a group of people who were just as weird and as queer as I was.

I constantly get asked if I’m okay because I look upset or sad. Apparently my RBF is that strong, because people have even been intimidated by me. I don’t look people in the eye when I am walking around, I kinda just stomp around because I’m faking being confident because I get so anxious by people staring at me. Eye contact has felt invasive for a long time, especially by strangers. I need large amounts of alone time to feel okay. The worst was when I was working 8am to 9pm for a BIPOC/Queer four day program for my campus. That was literal hell. I have never talked to so many people for so long in my life, and I hope I never have to ever again. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for someone to get so socially exhuasted that you just withdraw completely. I couldn’t fathom speaking after a few hours, getting words out felt literally painful. All I could do when I got home was sleep and do it all over again. If someone tried talking to me when I got home, I was agitated and couldn’t control it. We had to take group photos and I couldn’t even fake a smile; my face muscles hurt and they began twitching. My inability to fake emotions has always been a problem, and Ive had facial twitching from trying to smile in the past during parties and other gatherings. I also feel like I hurt people when I tell them I dont miss them. I don’t think Ive ever felt like Ive missed anyone. I am perfectly fine on my own, and I think my independence makes other people feel like I dont love them. I struggle in romantic relationships because I feel like I dont show affection in a very traditional sense. Light touching feels awful, but when my boyfriends lays on top of me, it’s like I’m at peace and it feels awesome.

idk. I cud go on and on about this but my ignorance toward social situations, my sensory issues that I cant hide anymore, my difficulty with feeling emotions, and I suppose the way my intelligence was always used as a way to ignore all of these issues; it all has been catching up to me. Maybe it was the pandemic. I loved being at home, but the lack of routine made me depressed. I love wearing masks so people dont look at me and I can hide my deadpan face. Idk. Its just been a bit overwhelming lately as I let myself slowly be more in tune with whats happening. I dont know if i want an official diagnosis, but I guess I just want to feel like im not a freak for being different than my peers. Ive always felt behind them

If u read this far pheww thanks but now u know a lot more about my pysche than some of my friends haha. Its just been hard because my friends are starkly different than me, even if they are ND as well.

o well. guess ill figure things out

#muertotalks #asd #we'll see how todays therapy session goes #i was looking at my old middle skool diary and i got kinda sad #i was struggling so hard to fit and i was so depressed #i couldnt understand why my mind hated me and why it was so hard to be in school #sure i was feeling gender dysphoria without knowing it #but so much of what i reread sounded like...autistic burnout...#idk #we'll see #ive always been the weird kid #boutta add another weird warrior cat kid to the autistic ranks

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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years ago

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Bpp, I hope those people who were doubting BTS’ members solo debut are for sure annoyed by how big the first two debuts have been so far. It says something about the trust in the member’s solo selling capacity is that Jhope had Lollapalooza and now Jin will be having his first debut at a freaking Coldplay concert!!! The powers that be *know* that they each have the recognition and selling capacity—like I doubt Chris’ label wpuld’ve okayed him performing them with this surprise announcement if they weren’t sure if he had the individual star power and recognizability???? Not to mention it speaks so much to Jin’s own relationship to Chris himself!! I’m not looking forward to the expectations this past two precedents are building tho 😅 i’ve already seen some skirmishes happening bec of jin’s physical cd vs jhope’s digital release, and it wasn’t even solos doing it… altho i’m still pretty peeved at the lack too, the limited vynils didnt help at all?!! but I hope Army doesn’t let ourselves forget that each member’s solo promo will be individualized and to not let solos agitate us to starting drama…

Hi Anon,

I’m only just getting to posting your ask now because between Jin’s Astronaut release, Riri’s Chadwick tribute, and other things happening at the time, I was kinda swamped and since your ask really just states the obvious, I triaged your ask to post later.

I like asks like yours that state things that are obvious to see. Because sometimes, it’s necessary to. We can all see how well Chapter 2 is going for BTS. We’re all on here, both ARMYs and those still hooked on BTS/ARMYs for whatever reason, every week or so talking about some new project they’re on. We can recognize how huge of a deal it is for a Korean solo act to headline a Western music festival for the first time, the sheer insanity of this showing being that artist’s solo debut, and noting this is after BTS had turned the city of Las Vegas into a festival of their own just months prior.

Coldplay is probably the only band active today that can rival BTS in pure star power and name recognition. And seeing that cultural connection, hearing Korean spoken by a white English man to thousands of Argentines because of a SeokJin of BTS, is just really fucking cool. I keep saying, the way BTS center their language and culture in these collaborations is like nothing else you’ll see anybody in k-pop being even able to attempt. It’s the sort of representation that I can only see BTS doing at this point. Perhaps in about 5-ish years some other acts will catch up to this, but right now, no one is doing it like them.

As to the format the solo roll-outs have taken and will take, that’s not a conversation I’m not going to bother engaging in at all because this is the perfect example of a waste of time. None of the guys have zero say in those matters. And while I understand the ARMYs upset about the different formats, ultimately at the crux of it, those are excuses. ARMYs have worked with less and done more. If people want to show up, they will, regardless of the music format. Personally, I thought the design was a bit hideous (a tiny cardboard box? Really?) but I was surprised to find out Weverse albums has even better sound quality than Apple Music. And this for me was enough to say fuck it to everything else. I’ve never been the sort to collect albums and merch anyway. If you have not heard what Arson and Future sound like on that app, and you’re an audiophile, do yourself a favour and listen to it ASAP.

It’s so interesting to me the things Hybe is clearly spending money on. Weverse Live, not really. But Weverse albums? Absofuckinglutely.

There’s a deeper dissatisfaction happening with Hobi-biased people (and solo stans) towards Hybe and the fandom and all this album/format issue did was inflame it. But as I’ve said before, in Chapter 2 expect issues like this to become the norm especially when the Maknae Line start their solo releases. It will do nobody any good giving any of these quips oxygen. I intend to focus on what the boys release (through Hybe) and support them if I like the music.

It’s honestly that simple for me.

#bts chapter 2 #hobi #seokjin #jin new solo #coldplay #the astronaut #jitb

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blookmallow · 3 years ago

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hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ )

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this

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thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why.

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place)

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences