#vote in numbers to big to manipulate

[klcthebookworm]

If your vote didn't matter, they wouldn't be trying so hard to take it away from you.

people think they shouldn't vote as a protest or whatever because they've been raised on boycotts. which do sometimes work.

boycotts deprive the target of money.

not voting does not deprive the government of money.

it does, however, deprive you of power.

it's not like a boycott.

[grimmsbride]

▒ ❀ ̭͡⠀ ❛ SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. NAM-GYU / PLAYER 124

nam-gyu attempts to recruit beloved, timid reader into thanos’s world. all it takes is a little encouragement.

𖥔 ࣪˖ TAGS, nam-gyu is a little pushy (but everything is consensual between him and reader) | unconsensual voyuerism (again everyone is asleep but i don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable) | ooc characters (first time writing for nam-gyu) | minor degradation & praise (+humiliation(?)) | use of the words slut, good girl, etc. | fingering | minor dacryphilia | just a silly little imagine | nam-gyu is lowkey manipulative | reader is a freak with a thing for fingers/hands | etc.

𖥔 ࣪˖ NOTES, writing smut on company time is actually hilarious, idk why i got this idea during work. but anywho — i hope you enjoy, i tried my hand at his character. as always please ignore any grammar mistakes or typos.

Imagine Nam-Gyu attempting to recruit someone without the advice of his beloved purple-haired leader. Surprising, right? Despite his own issues with inferiority; the ex-club worker just seems to follow behind Thanos like a hungry puppy desperate for a bone— or drugs, for that matter. But no, just this once, Nam-Gyu takes the lead. The numbers are growing closer and even more scarce, fear lacing people’s minds and causing them to hit that dreaded X button. Thanos’s World’s dream is to continue the games to pay off their debts, right?— so it only made sense for Nam-Gyu to turn an X over to the O side.

He couldn’t just pick anyone. Someone far too strong-willed would definitely tell him no, and someone far too weak would just be a curse rather than a blessing.

Who to choose.. Who to choose..

Soon enough the man’s eyes are locking on to you— a contestant he has seen around, yet hasn’t heard much from. Not only were you easy on the eyes but you just seemed like the perfect person to shape into a worthy teammate.

Within minutes he’s approaching you, an easy-going smile in place as your name falls from his lips. Nam-Gyu had heard it said before by someone close to you, another random that he hadn’t bother to think about.

“Yes..?” Your words are slow, lips pursing as you take in the man before you. You were beyond nervous; this was the lackey of that purple-haired lunatic after all. Watching the two fight on the very first day was enough to tell you to avoid them at all costs. Yet here you were, a few feet away from one of them, under his gaze that trailed over you like a pretty piece of jewelry behind a display case.

You couldn’t help but bring your hands closer to yourself, teeth dragging across your cheek nervously.

From your head to your toes, Nam-Gyu’s eyes soon landed on that big red patch residing just under your bosom. With a breathy chuckle he reached over, allowing a single finger to press and trace the X.

“You wanna get out of the games that bad, huh? You voted X twice already.”

Your eyes flicked down to his hand, before traveling back to his face. “Yeah well..” You dragged slowly, watching that harsh gaze return to your features.

“I—I want to get rid of my debts.. but putting my life on the line for it just seems..” You hoped you got your words across perfectly, even without continuing your sentence. Sure, it was hard being hounded for your debts, but death looming over your head just didn’t seem worth it.

Still, Nam-Gyu only shook his head at you, a sigh full of pity escaping his lips.

“Well, that’s where you’re messing up.” Nam-Gyu hummed, stepping just a bit closer, finger still tracing that damned patch. Your attention kept flicking between his face and finger, wondering why exactly warmth was pooling throughout your entire body.

“Worrying too much about dying is what’s gonna get you killed, not anything else.”

Your eyebrows knitted close, a look of confusion plastered across your face. Worrying seemed like the right way to keep yourself alive.. right? Not worrying just seemed, well— stupid. Not that you would say that to his face, obviously.

“I have to disagree..”

Just barely did you hear the sound of the man sucking his teeth, watching the way his face turned to the side, clearly searching for his next few words. You debated on walking away from this conversation, it was clear what his objective was. And whether ordered by Thanos or not, you didn’t really want to know— nor figure out.

Yet for some reason you were practically glued to the spot, blinking up at him and waiting oh, so patiently for his next spiel. And as you watched his face turn back to you, your breath got caught in your throat.

“Okay then.. worry all you want, but you wouldn’t you want someone to look out for you?” Nam-Gyu’s other hand was reaching to your patch at this point, using both thumbs to trace it. “Being on this side, there’s no unity.. it’s every person for themself.”

The two of you locked eyes, a sickeningly sweet smile crossing his face.

“Come with us, and we’ll look after you. I’ll personally see to it too.”

Slowly did your teeth sink into your bottom lip, struggling to maintain the eye contact that he seemed so keen on keeping. The only thing you could hear was your racing heart and the gentle sounds of his thumbs sliding across that red patch. His words were.. tempting. You wondered if he rehearsed what to say, like a video game with multiple endings; did he have it all figured out before he even walked over? Was he so prepared to convert you, using every rejection you had as some silly obstacles the man easily hobbled over?

So caught up in your thoughts, you hardly realized Nam-Gyu had gotten even closer until his breath fanned across your ear in a simple;

I’ll let you think it over, let’s talk again later..

When you thought of later, you initially believed in thirty mins or so. Maybe this time he would bring over his beloved leader to really get the point across. But no, later seemed to be during lights out; when you all should be sleeping, tucked away in the rare bliss these murderous games brought.

And the only talking that was happening was the soft words Nam-Gyu continued to whisper into your ear and the even softer moans of passion that slipped from your swollen lips.

See, Nam-Gyu wasn’t an idiot despite what Thanos seems to think. Quickly he caught on to two things whilst speaking to you.

The first being, you were quite cute when nervous. And two, you just loved looking at his hands.

So what better way to really stretch his point across but using his beloved fingers to stretch you open just how he liked?

“Should have done this from the start, look how cooperative you’re being..” The smile on Nam-Gyu’s face was permanent at this point, the corner of his mouth twitching with each pitiful moan you released. His rings were tossed lazily to the side, his bare fingers now pushing into your sloppy cunt so perfectly. Longer then your own, they pushed and prodded; opening you up and rubbing against your soaked walls. With each breath you were clenching, causing the smile on his face to only grow deeper.

“Scared of dying but not of some stranger finger-fucking you, huh? What a joke.”

You wanted to tell him off, how he was so mean and so wrong. But you couldn’t, not with how your mind was getting complete lost from his movements. Your teeth were grinding into your bottom lip, a metallic taste filling your mouth as time progressed. Deep moans thundered from your throat, muffled by your harsh biting. You couldn’t imagine having your little recruitment interrupted by some poor contestant just trying to get some rest.

But with the way Nam-Gyu was practically ruining you, it didn’t seem he cared much either way. He was so hellbent on coaxing you, his lips right against your ear as that damned thumb came and circled your swollen bud.

“I told you I’d look after you right, where’s my thank you?”

Your eyes widened the moment his free hand rose, pushing at your cheeks and basically forcing your lips to part. The sound you let out was a strangled mix of a moan and gasp, quickly clasping your own hand against your mouth.

Nam-Gyu chuckled on his breath, thrusting a third finger into your wet cunt as he spoke; “What? You scared of the other contestants realizing how much of a slut you are? Shouldn’t worry too much; this messy cunt is making enough noise for you.”

Your eyes were meeting the back of your skull, so fucking mean he was— yet you couldn’t help but enjoy the attention. His digits were curling inside, brushing across that special spot that caused you to shake. Your thighs were clenching harshly around his arm, rushed breaths escaping as your chest rose and fell.

“Th—thank you.. fuck— please…!” You whimpered as softly as you possibly could, glossy eyes staring up at the man. You felt accomplished the moment he drew closer, feeling the cold metal of his chain brush against your heated skin before a gentle kiss was pressed right against your cheek.

“What a good girl.. You wanna come, hm?” The hand was lowering to your throat, fingers simply wrapping around it yet not squeezing. Nam-Gyu watched in pure enjoyment at the way your head tossed back and forth in a rushed nod; how needy you were for him. What a palpable little thing, is what he thought.

“I can make that happen, you just gotta do something for me.”

More words, whispered, tempting; drifting right into your ear and hitting the same pleasurable spots right between your legs. Speaking of, you felt your peak drawing closer; a tight band resting deep in your tummy— ready to burst.

You knew what he wanted, you weren’t an idiot nor were you too fucked out to forget. Your mind was screaming at you, telling you an orgasm wasn’t worth pressing that cursed button.

Yet, for now, you weren’t thinking with your brain, but with your pussy instead.

“P—please let me join! I’ll press the button— I promise!” Another whisper-yell escaped you, desperation clinging to every word as they fled those pretty lips.

With that final confirmation Nam-Gyu was quickening the pace of his fingers, eating up the way your body convulsed, a lost look invading your eyes as you came undone. Your essence trickled down his fingers all the way to his wrist, a sticky residue that he would make sure you clean up later.

For now.. his hand rose from your throat to instead cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb right under your eye so tenderly— so sweetly.

“I knew you could do it.. just needed some encouragement, right?”

[pixiepipedreams]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — distant flickerings, greener scenery // in-ho x reader

♡  ⁄  pairing: in-ho x reader, hints of gi-hun x reader ♡  ⁄  warnings & tags: fem!reader, canon-typical violence & death, obsessive behavior, lying/manipulation, age gap (reader is 20-22, in-ho & gi-hun are late 40s, early 50s) ♡  ⁄ wordcount: 4.2k ♡  ⁄ summary: after losing your mom at 18, you move to south korea with your father for a fresh start. he incurs a lot of debt, and on the verge of losing your student visa, you enter the squid game. quickly adhering to gi-hun's group to increase your chance of survival, you gain the attention of the strange player 001... THIS IS PART ONE OF A SERIES!! (➋) (➌)

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

Life is a series of bad decisions and dead-ends.

It's something you've tried not to believe, but your mother's misery had been infused into your bones, the code of your very being. Every day, you tried to bring more light to the world, to love even the little things - to love those little things even more, just for existing. Every shifting cloud in the sky, every gentle breeze, every moment has joy if you know where to look. As much as you love your mother, she only saw the worst in life. When she died, you were only 18, but it gave you a sense of freedom. You applied for a student visa to South Korea, wanting to live somewhere that would remind you the least of what you've lost. Your father moved with you, and things were okay, for a few years.

On the brink of losing your visa, and finding out your father has incurred a huge debt, you felt like you were running out of choices. Until a handsome man in the subways gave you an opportunity. You didn't know the game very well, but you managed to win a few rounds of ddakji, well worth the harsh slaps you received for losing even more. When he gave you a business card, a chance to earn more money, dig yourself out of the pit that threatened to swallow you whole... you hesitated.

Then your father got hospitalized. You couldn't take on his debt alone, let alone cover his hospital fees. So you called him. When you awake in a strange place, the number 132 written on a green tracksuit you don't remember putting on, you get the sinking feeling that you made the wrong choice.

Your mother's voice rings through your head when the first game starts, and player 456 shouts to everyone that these games could cost your life. He sounded insane, but the bundle of dread in your stomach was impossible to ignore. You believed him.

And then the first person died.

You were one of the first to make it past the finish line, ushering as many people as you could through. It wasn't enough. You have to tear your eyes away from the bloody bodies littering the field, feeling sick. But at least there's the sky, above you. Blue and bright and beautiful, like hope itself. The wind moving the sparse clouds makes you feel both small and big, like maybe you could make it. You're only in your early 20s, you still have so much life to live.

The vote gets announced in the dormitories, and when it's your turn at the button, you have no clue what the correct path is. Player 044's words play in your mind - The time and place of each one of your deaths was decided from the instant you were born. There's no changing it now. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you'll never be able to escape your fate. Your hand hovers, then you press 'O'. One more game.

The final player votes the same way as you, ensuring that everyone will play again. The 'X's are groaning, distraught, but some of them have the same fatalistic hope in their eyes that mirror your own. Your eyes find 456, noting his deep disappointment, almost to the point of despair. You feel a hint of guilt, but you know you're one of 183 people who voted the same. It would've been easier to assuage that guilt, though, if it wasn't such a close vote. Just one person could have changed the tides, shifted fate...

You feel compelled to approach him, but you're not the only one. You end up to the right behind player 001, the last person who voted. "You're the reason I ended up voting to stay. It's true. After the first game, I thought I was going to quit. And then I saw you, and I thought, 'One more game. Then I can go.'"

You freeze. Hadn't you thought nearly the same thing? Your mind buzzes, looking at the side profile of 001. He's older than you, like most of the people here, and you get struck by the feeling that you're too young to have ended up in a place like this. But if it wasn't you, maybe that recruiter would have found your father.

Maybe that was his initial plan, until your dad ended up in the hospital.

They're talking about the next game, how 456 played something called Honeycomb last time. The players in the crowd around the previous champion murmur in excitement at having a better chance in the next game. "It probably won't be the same game," you say quietly, almost to yourself. But everyone around you grows quiet, looking at you. You glance from 001 to 456, realizing everyone is waiting for you to continue. You clear your throat. "There's plenty of children's games, are there not? I'm sure they change it every time. They probably only keep Red Light, Green Light because it's easy, universal. It's the perfect way to introduce the true nature of these games. But everything else is probably different."

There's a murmur of agreement, but your eyes stay on 456. There's a hardness to his expression that doesn't match the deep smile lines that have formed over his life. He doesn't look surprised by the idea you'd presented. He must think the same thing, himself.

"You're American, aren't you?" 001 asks, drawing your eyes to him. Something about his gaze is intense, pinning you in place. You swallow, nodding, your spine straightening on instinct. You've been in South Korea for long enough to know their customs, and you know that those older than you are due a certain amount of respect. It's better to overdo it than do too little.

"That's right, sir. I'm here on a student visa," you say, ducking your head slightly, then meet his eyes again. His expression doesn't change, but somehow, you feel like he's looking at you differently. Sharper, somehow. Like he's taking you apart, piece by piece.

What the hell?

In-ho's quiet, for a long moment, but it's not because he has nothing to say. He has too much he wants to say - that you're too young to be in a place like this, that you must be at a disadvantage in this series of Korean children's games, that you're sharp in guessing that the next game will be different. He designed these games, he knows you're right. None of that should matter to him. He's here on a mission, to challenge Gi-hun at every turn, make him rethink his view of the world. Player 132 - he's sure if he thought long enough, he would remember your name, although he'd long since stopped memorizing every name in the files of players that cross his desk. But your eyes hold his in a way that tugs at him, makes him feel something different. He hasn't felt something new in years, not since his wife passed while he was in the games.

"You have a good point," he says with a slight nod. "Still, I hope you're wrong. It'd be nice, to have an advantage."

He finally breaks your gaze, and it feels like your insides have all been flipped around and turned over, like he'd looked over everything that makes you you. You look at the ground as he continues talking to 456. Eventually, the other players disperse, disappointed by what 456 had to say. You linger, though, leaning against the pole of a nearby bunk bed.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question? Why are you here? Why'd you come back again? You said you won the game, made it out. And that would mean you won 45.6 billion won. Did you spend all of it already?" 001 asks, eyes searching 456's expression.

"Did you start betting again?" 456's friend, 390, pipes up.

"That money doesn't belong to me. The ones who died in this place, that's their blood money. And the same goes for everything in there now," 456 says, his expression intense, like he's lived through years and years of this torture instead of 6 days. But that's what PTSD is, isn't it? The trauma persists past the actual event.

You frown, crossing your arms. That's a horrible way to think about it. Those people are already dead, aren't they? It's worse to not spend the money, after all that blood was spilled for it.

"What point is there in thinking about it like that?" 001 points out, surprising you again. "After all, it's not like you killed anyone yourself. And that way of thinking won't help bring any of them back to life."

"If you don't use that money, make a better life for yourself, it's a dishonor to their memory," you say quietly. "It's like they died for nothing."

456 stares at you like he's just been slapped. But 001... he looks at you with a hint of approval, and something else. Something like interest... or fascination. "If even one of you two had pressed 'O' like I told you to, we all could've left here alive!" 456 says harshly, a pot boiling over. "You could've saved everybody!"

"True. I was the last player to press 'O,'" 001 says quietly, drawing 456's attention and ire. "It wasn't just me, though. There's 182 other people who wanted to stay here."

"Yeah, and 182 more of them who wanted to get the hell out of this place!" 456 shoots back.

"If I hadn't pressed 'O'… If I'd hit 'X' and we'd all gone home, you think they'd appreciate what I'd done? If one of these people ran into me, years from now, do you think they'd say they were happy I voted to go? That they ended up with a great life after all?" 456 falls silent, watching him like he's remembering something.

Silently, you agree with 001. You're all here because you're in dire straits, and the winnings from the first game wouldn't have been enough to make a dent in most people's debt.

The conversation continues, and when Dae-ho approaches and introduces himself, you lay down on a nearby bed, lost in thought.

Time passes - you're not sure how much, with no clocks or sun to go by. The scenery of the large dormitories isn't appealing, and doesn't have anything you'd normally focus on to remind yourself of the little joys of life, so you resort to people-watching. The mother and her son, in quiet discussion, a small group talking and laughing about nothing in particular, the annoying guy with the purple hair...

You sit up, eyes going wide as you watch him throw a punch at the MG Coin guy. The scuffle goes on, and you get to your feet, having half a mind to step in and tell them to stop being idiots, but then player 001 is approaching them.

"Hey, kids. What makes you think you can behave like that? Especially while people are eating. And in front of your elders too. It's bad manners, not to mention it's two against one. Shame on you guys." Your eyes are glued to 001, the restrained power in his stance. You can't see his face, but you can picture it - that calm, cold expression, the intensity in his eyes. You know there's more to him than meets the eye, but you can't put a finger on it.

"You're in here just like everyone else. So cut the lecture… Grandad. How about instead of yip-yapping at me, you go back home to your own kids, you yell at them?" the purple-haired guy - Thanos, if you remember right - makes a talking hand gesture at 001, and you find yourself holding your breath.

"What did you say?" 001 replies coldly, but there's a hint of fire beneath it.

"I said, save the lecture for your own kids!" Thanos laughs, but is cut off by 001 putting a hand on the nape of his neck. "Hey, get your fuckin--"

He's cut off by a cry of pain as 001 does something with his grip that makes him fall to his knees. You watch as he takes down the two guys like it's nothing, barely breaking a sweat, and a cold chill runs down your spine even as you feel an electric tingle over your skin. Who is he? There it is again, that hint to something more, some large piece of the puzzle of his character that you're missing. It's compelling, but there's also a hint of danger. You make a mental note not to get on his bad side.

Your mind swirls as everything settles down again, and before it's time to turn the lights out, you walk over to 456, sitting down on a step next to him.

"You've really played these games before?" you ask after a moment of silence, glancing at him. You can feel the rift between you two, the 'O' on your chest and the 'X' on his. 456 is quiet for a moment, then nods. "Why would you come back, then? I know you said you didn't want to spend the money... so you don't need more. There must be a reason."

456 sighs. "These games change you. I can't imagine living a normal life, after everything I went through here... I tried. But I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't try to prevent these games from continuing."

It's your turn to fall silent. "Stopping the games doesn't change much, at the end of the day. Some of these people's debts are so bad that they've waived their bodily rights. At least here, they have a chance to try and pay it off, make an honest life for themselves," you say finally, your voice gentle.

456 looks back at you with a complicated expression. "I know. When I joined these games the first time, I'd done the very same thing."

You stare at him, eyes searching his face. There's traces of a happier man in the sorrow with which he holds himself. The smile lines, the crinkles by his eyes. Winning these games only made him miserable. They changed who he was. You can read it, plain as a book, the man he used to be. "Getting rid of these games doesn't change the way the world works. With that kind of money... the money you won, you could actually try to change things in the real world. So nobody would be desperate enough to end up in a place like this." You shrug. "But maybe that's impossible, too. I hope you do, though. Change things. That's a cause I can get behind."

You stare at each other, like you're coming to a quiet understanding. He nods a little, his lips still a permanent frown. You wonder what his smile used to look like, what his laugh sounded like.

You wonder if winning these games would turn you as miserable, as haunted, as he is now. "(Y/N)," you say quietly. He just blinks. "My name. I want to fight by your side. I think... remembering that we're human is an important step."

There's a flicker of something in his expression, and you can almost see the smile that haunts his face, the joy of a more innocent man. He nods softly. "Gi-hun," he replies, his shoulders loosening slightly. It's a start.

"Gi-hun," you reply, smiling at him. "Try to sleep tonight. We'll all need our strength tomorrow."

You leave the sad man to his ghosts and his thoughts, taking a bed on a higher level, feeling safer with some distance between you and the rest of the players. When the lights go out, you curl up under the thin blanket. There's enough people in the dormitory that it's not cold, but you're not exactly warm either. You manage to fall asleep, but it's light, restless, and you wake up after only an hour at most. You stare up at the ceiling, then turn on your side, counting the tiles on the wall. There's black shapes in the tiles that you can't entirely make out, images that are indecipherable with so many beds in the way.

There's the sound of shoes on metal behind you, and you turn on the bed, looking up to see player 001 standing above you. There's something in his eyes, almost like he'd just been... crying? It doesn't make sense, but neither does a lot of things about him.

"001," you say quietly, relaxing the shoulders you hadn't realized were tense. "Can't sleep?"

He hesitates, then takes a seat on the step by your head, clasping his hands. "Haven't tried, yet. I don't sleep well, anyways."

You nod, stretching your legs under the covers, and sit up, facing him. "Yeah. I fell asleep, but it didn't last. My dad always says I got my insomnia from him," you say with a small laugh. It feels weird, to laugh in a place like this, but it comes naturally to you. Trying to lighten the mood, to find little spots of light in the darkness. Fireflies in the night.

001 gives a small smile, a little crinkle of the eyes revealing that it's a genuine one. "Are you close with your father?" he asks, tilting his head. Curious. You hesitate, then shrug.

"Everyone growing up said I looked just like him. I used to have his attitude problem. Still do, sometimes," you say, brushing your hair behind both ears. "I moved here, to South Korea, with him. But... no, I'm not really close with him anymore." And yet, you came here for him - for his debts, to take care of his hospital bills. You'll always love him, despite the fact that his own actions sent you here, to this hell. He should be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. You can feel the injustice, the anger that secretly simmers under the surface, but you take a deep breath, smiling at him.

The man just stares at you, his often emotionless eyes studying you, like he wants to pick apart your mind. "And your mother?"

Emotion threatens to overtake you, a lump in your chest forming, and you swallow, looking away. It feels like a lot, to share with this relative stranger. It's been a few years since your mother passed, but it feels like longer. At the same time, it feels like she could call you at any moment. The silence grows, and he finally murmurs, "I see." You stare out at the room, feeling miles away. Relationships with parents is always complicated, and before she passed, it wasn't perfect between you two. But you'd do anything to have her back. "I only ask because... well. You're just so young. You really shouldn't be here."

You bristle, slightly, though you know he's right. "We all have our reasons," you mutter. You can't blame your father, entirely - although, if he hadn't acquired a pile of debt, he would be able to help you keep your student visa.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve," 001 says gently. "I'm worried, that's all."

You huff a breath, hands fidgeting to pop your fingers. "Thank you for your concern, sir, but I chose to be here, didn't I?" The 'O' on both of our chests is evidence of that.

"Young-il," he says after a beat. "You don't have to call me sir. We're all equals here." You finally look back at him, surprised that he offered up his name. Another piece to the puzzle. "I'm surprised you voted to stay. You're American, you probably won't know most of the games."

You smile humorlessly, shaking your head slightly. "They explain the rules for each one, don't they? And... well, I think I only need one more game to have enough. It won't cover everything, but... it'll get me far enough." You try to believe it. You don't know if you have the stomach to play more than one game. "I'm (Y/N). By the way." A sign of peace, a quiet alliance. Just like with Gi-hun earlier, it eases the air between you.

Another moment of quiet, the only sound the quiet breathing and snores of the hundreds of players in the room. "(Y/N)," he says softly, almost to himself. "Well, you have me, too. I'll help you, if there's a confusing one."

You eye him curiously, then smile, a warm, gentle thing. He doesn't take his eyes off of you, smiling back. Like Gi-hun, he looks like someone who hasn't smiled in years, but more like... he's forgotten how. It warms you to him.

"Thank you. Young-il," you say, reaching over to squeeze his arm. He looks taken aback, surprised, but his smile deepens, settling somewhere in his irises.

You take your hand back, fidgeting with the blanket. "So... what do you do for fun? When you're not playing children's games," you say, a hint of humor in your tone as you try to keep the mood light.

It works - he gives a small chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "Me? I read... enjoy art. I feel like I don't have a lot of fun these days, though," he says, his tone almost contemplative. Like he hadn't even considered fun in a long time. "And what about you?"

You hum softly, fingers dancing in a pattern as they tap the bed beside you. "I like dancing, and music. I read a lot - fiction, mostly. I do enough learning in university." You list off a couple more things, the silly things you do to occupy your day. "If it's a bad day, I usually take a walk in the park. Try to remember the little things that fill the world with joy."

His expression grows warmer, almost soft with each thing you say. "That sounds lovely," he murmurs, his expression almost wistful. He's hard to read, his expression so detached when he's not smiling, but he seems almost open now. Almost. "And dancing, huh? I'll admit, I haven't danced in a long time. I was never any good at it." He gives a wry chuckle, but you grin, eyes twinkling.

"It's better when you're no good at it. Just as long as you don't let yourself get embarrassed. It's good, to move your body, to just feel." You wonder if you'll ever dance again like that - carefree, uncaring about what anyone thought. "I'm surprised, by the way, that you didn't say you take martial arts classes. That move you pulled earlier, with Thanos... it was impressive, skilled." Your tone is nonchalant, but you analyze him for any possible reaction. Wanting to understand him.

He doesn't give one. "I've taken some. For self-defense, mostly. But not really for fun. I know what you mean, about moving your body. That's what fighting was, for me. But it'd be nice to move in a less... restrained way."

It's an almost disarming answer, and it makes something in you soften. You almost offer to dance with him, when you get out of here, but then you remember that he must be a couple decades older than you. You smile though. "You should try it sometime."

You chat for a little longer, but you can feel a weariness settle inside you, now that you're more relaxed. Something about his company is comforting, familiar. It almost makes you forget where you are. It's only when you notice a matching exhaustion in his eyes that you say something.

"You need to get some rest," you say softly.

"So do you," he points out, eyes tracing over your face once before reaching your eyes again. "You only got a little bit."

You hesitate. You do feel tired again, but the moment you're alone, you know that racing thoughts will prevent you from succumbing to your body's needs. "Would you sit with me?" you blurt out, then feel embarrassed. But it's too late to take it back. "Just... until I fall asleep. It's easier, with someone else here."

You have no reason to trust In-ho so quickly. The bonds formed in these games are as concrete as they are breakable, he knows this. He can tell, already, how full of life you are, and he has to fight to keep the thought away - she shouldn't be here. You were right, everyone chose to be here, including you. You voted to stay. But something in him does care, as much as he doesn't want to. And, very quickly, he finds himself wanting to save you, keep you alive. Keep you by his side. Your request only fuels that ember inside him, stoking it, and soon a flame will be coaxed. He has had nothing to want to protect in so long, so many years, and it dismantles him. Makes him feel like the man he once was, the man he's pretending to be.

"Okay," Young-il says quietly, giving her a soft smile, scooting closer to her on the step he's sitting on. You lay down again, on your side, facing him. On impulse you reach out, placing a hand on his wrist. He hesitates, then rests his hand on the bed, letting you curl our hand around his jacketed wrist.

You ignore the strange feeling in your chest, letting your eyes slip shut, relaxing fully for the first time since you got here. "Thank you," you murmur, and you can already feel the fuzz of sleep creeping up on you. His hand slides into your hair, gently massaging your scalp, and it might be the best thing you've ever felt.

It doesn't take long. And this time, your rest is peaceful.

[artickroyale]

I had this random thought where the reader (gender neutral), from the very start of tdwt, Is aware of Alejandro's game and they use that to their advantage. Every time he tries to use his charm on them they uno reverse card him, flustering him instead. Their dynamic progresses throughout the show from an "I can mess with this guy" to "I hope we meet again when the show ends". Like, to the reader, the money doesn't matter to them anymore they just want to mess around with Alejandro and hang out.

MIND GAMES

alejandro burromuerto x gn reader

'' tick tock on the big clock ''

Alejandro Burromuerto. The charmer, the second Heather, the guy who gets the girl. He was all of those things and more. There's so much going on in this competition, so why is he dwelling on one thing?

That one thing was you. You saw through the act. And he respected you for it.

"Ah, (Name), fancy seeing you here." Alejandro smiles, sitting next to you on the bench in economy.

"We're on the same team, you know." You chuckle. Alejandro gets a bit closer to you.

"I must've been too focused on your beautiful face, mi amor."

"Oh really? Because, to my knowledge, your face is even more beautiful." You respond. God, Alejandro's lucky no one is paying attention to you two.

"Aww, you are too kind to me." He leans away, smirking at you. You lean forward, whispering something in his ear. His whole face flushes and he looks away. You just laugh.

During the time you weren't voted out, Alejandro was like a flirting machine at your side. He tried making you crack. He really did. But he failed

"Ugh! (Name) is just so hard to manipulate. They see through everything, and it isn't like they're just stupid!" He sighs to the confessional. "They're incredible, aren't they?" He says dreamily.

The camera cuts to Alejandro close up, saying, "Give me the tape! Ugh, how do you open this thing!? Give it to me!"

This was it. Alejandro had to vote you out before he got too caught up in whatever spell you put on him. You walked up and sat down next to him.

"Hey, Alejandro." You said. Alejandro just looked at you. "I already know I'm getting voted out, so, uh, I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed what we had."

Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"The constant flirting and bickering. It was kinda fun, if I'm being honest." You smile. "I'd like to get to know the actual you, after this whole thing is over. Am I able to give you my number if we see each other again?"

Alejandro paused. Why was his heart aching?

"Of course." He said. And to his surprise, he hugged you.

And you hugged him back.

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Rin Profile from Egoist Bible (2022)

"To me, soccer is a battle to death."

Bluelock Ranking: 1 (at the beginning of second selection)

Weapons: Kicking accuracy, technique, tactical vision, physical ability.

Birthdate: September, 9th.

Age: 16 (First year high school)

Zodiac sign: Virgo.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, older brother, himself.

Height: 186 cm.

Foot size: 27.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Dominant foot: Right.

Favorite soccer player: David Beckham. "I respect his kicks."

Age started playing soccer: For as long as I can remember. "I grew up watching my big brother play."

Motto: "The field is a battlefield", "Tepid" (habit)

Strengths: I can play soccer. "Anything else doesn't matter."

Weaknesses: Unfriendly. "If you don't like it then don't bother me."

Favorite food: Ochazuke. "Especially sea bream chazuke."

Disliked food: Vinegared dish. "I don't like sour things."

Best rice accompaniment: Tuna. "Soy sauce and wasabi combo is the winner. No objection."

Hobby: Getting the chills from horror games and horror movies.

Favorite season: Autumn. "I like it when it's a bit chilly."

Favorite music: King Gnu in general. "Especially Prayer X."

Favorite movie: Horror movie in general. "Especially The Shining."

Favorite manga: Dragon Head and Ciguatera.

Character color: Turquoise Blue.

Favorite animal: Owl. "I'm fascinated by them. I think it's the eyes."

Best subjects: Physical Education, Art.

Weak subjects: Calligraphy. "I hate having to write exactly as I'm taught."

What makes you happy: I don't know.

What makes you sad?: When someone is better at soccer than me. "So far it's only my big brother."

Last year's valentine day chocolates: I don't remember because I rejected and returned all of them.

Sleep time: 7,5 hours.

Where do you wash first in the bath?: The eyes with warm water

What do you like to buy at the convenient store?: Eye masks that warm the eyes.

Mushroom or Bamboo Shoots: Mushroom.

What made you cry recently?: I don't cry.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 8 years old. "When my big brother stopped getting them I followed him and stopped getting them too... Truthfully, I still wanted them."

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: The same cleats as my big brother.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Fight my big brother.

What would you do if you received 100 million yen?: Place a bet on a single number in Roulette*.

What do you do on your days off?: Immerse myself in horror games or horror movies.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

An extraordinary player who boasts the top skills in Blue Lock

The monster reigning at the top of the new Blue Lock Ranking. Not only are his kicking, dribbling technique, and physical abilities outstanding, he's also able to read opponents' plays several moves ahead and manipulate them at will, making him the true ruler of the field. He's an extraordinary player with no flaws.

Is there a connection between his overbearing attitude and his brother?!

Rin is the younger brother of Itoshi Sae, who is selected as one of the "New Generation World 11". His goal is using "Blue Lock" to join Japanese National Team and surpass his older brother. His disrespectful attitude of dismissing Isagi and other players' play as "a tepid ball-kicking game**" seems to be deeply connected to his brother. When he finally surpasses his brother, will Rin's troubled mind*** be cleared?

A day at Blue Lock

"My bangs were falling over my right eye and it was starting to get annoying. I decided to cut my bangs and lifted it in front of the mirror. My face looked like my brother's, and I hated everything about it."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin's Ranking on "Best 3 of Everything: Blue Lock players voted each other"

1. Ranked #3 The Most Hardworking

2. Ranked #3 The Most Short-Tempered

3. Ranked #1 Worst at Communication

Rin's commentary: "...I have no intention of having tepid communication with you people"

4. Ranked #2 The Best at Study****

5. Ranked #1 "Doesn't have many friends"

Rin's commentary: "...Friends? It's just a low-level community for sharing tepid experiences."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*In Roulette, betting on a single number is called a "straight up bet". It's the riskiest bet, but if you win the 35:1 payout will be very rewarding. (Highest-risk, Highest-reward).

**"A tepid ball-kicking game" is a reference to ch. 46. Official English publication translated it as "Mediocre playtime."

***The word in Japanese is 荒んだ心 "susanda kokoro" (lit.rough heart or hardened heart). It's an expression usually used to describe someone with prickly (rough) attitude because their mind is messed up or disturbed by something. For this context I'm using "troubled mind."

****The title/ranking is "Who Can Study Well". Basically, Rin is the #2 person who is very good at studying (benkyou 勉強).

On his profile, Rin referred to Sae as "兄ちゃん niichan". All the "big brother" mentioned by Rin here are originally "niichan" in Japanese.

Check Rin's updated profile from the second volume of Egoist Bible for more!

[accirax]

hey! i was wondering about eden’s emotional cg scenes with teruko at the end of ep14; if eden does happen to be the culprit, how would it affect her characterisation? personally, i can’t help but see it in a negative light, one which dampens her impact on arei, teruko and others with her ‘rational optimism’ and general kindness. if eden believed arei wanted to be friends with her, and was willing to reciprocate it, would eden really kill her in cold blood?? if her tears at the end of ep14 were genuine, would it go against her ultimately being the blackened?

tl:dr: how would you justify eden’s last moments at the end of ep14, if she were the culprit? it felt truly genuine to me, but i can’t help but notice her suspicious behaviour and inconsistencies in regards to the ch2 murder :(

(sorry, i’ve never done an ask before!! apologies if this is worded poorly.)

Can Eden Still Be the Culprit (Again)?

Haha, it figures that, even if I didn't choose to cover it in my Episode 14 Dissection, I'd still wind up analyzing what was going on in that scene anyways. Glad you're curious to hear my thoughts! (And don't worry, you phrased everything perfectly!)

The truth is, I didn't initially go over it because I wanted to post my thoughts on the day after the episode aired I, too, am somewhat confused as to how Eden could say all of that and still potentially be the blackened. However, as someone who still believes that Eden could be the blackened, it's probably a good idea if I figure out for myself what the hell this scene means in the context of DRDT at large if votes for Eden are close at hand. And potentially preempt some of the backlash that might arise if they are.

Just know that I, too, think that some of my points might be a bit of a stretch sometimes. We cool? Cool. Let's get analyzing.

SPOILERS for DRDT through Chapter 12 Episode 14, as well as Chapter 2 of THH and Chapter 1 of SDR2, and a WARNING that we will (obviously) be discussing Eden!culprit throughout this post.

For Eden's words and actions to make sense under the preconception that she is the killer, I think there are only three major roads you can take.

NUMBER ONE: EDEN IS A LYING, MANIPULATIVE, SCUMBAGGY PIECE OF SHIT

This option... is not great. Everybody agrees that it is not great. I hesitate to use the word "bad," because I think that people are way too hasty to call things "bad writing" (especially before they've even happened), but... I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty bad.

Basically, what it says on the tin. Just like David, Eden has actually been a liar and a manipulator the whole time. She doesn't actually believe anything she said about optimism or the power of friendship, and was 100% using that attitude the whole time to get everybody's guards down. A character like that would have no problem saying whatever the hell she needed to say in order to get others to pity and therefore not vote for her.

I don't like this one because it fully invalidates everything that we've seen from Eden so far. For someone like David-- or, say, Nagito-- even in the midst of their big heel turn, there are parts of their previous characterization that are still salvageable. Teruko caught David being a hater on literally Day 1, and it was easy to read into his outbursts of anger and insane nosiness to expect that his personality wasn't really as bright as his stars. Similarly, even if Hajime got along with Nagito, he was still sort of a creepy and off-putting guy, and everything about his love of hope stayed as strong as ever. For Eden to suddenly turn to the dark side would truly come out of nowhere. Other than... I don't know, liking to bake?, I don't think there are any aspects of Eden's former characterization that would remain. Not that her character would remain in the story for much longer, but, whatever.

I'm going to discount this option because I have faith in DRDTdev's writing, and I don't think he would suddenly want to abandon the Eden character he's been strongly developing over the past two chapters. Again, I refuse to call anything bad writing until the Chapter at least, if not the story as a whole, is wrapped up, but there's a reason why everyone's first instinct is to hate this idea.

NUMBER TWO: EDEN IS THE BLACKENED BUT DOESN'T KNOW IT

Basically, Eden is able to be so genuine because she either forgot or didn't know that she was the one to kill Arei, but we'll still be able to convict her in the end because all of the evidence points to her. How would this work? Well, sorastar6 came up with a theory that Eden might have killed Arei but blocked it out of her memory. It could also be something where, like, someone else put her up to it and she accidentally let go of the rope or whatever to kill Arei without realizing it. (That idea is loosely based off of a-student-out-of-time's theory of David manipulating Hu to kill J-dressed-as-Arei-- hopefully if they read this, they won't mind me using their theory as a logistical basis off of which to accuse Eden 😅)

However, I don't think either of these cases are particularly likely either. The murder method is so complicated and clearly premeditated that it would be really hard to trick someone into operating it without realizing it at all. And, if Eden killing Arei traumatized her so much that she lost multiple hours of memory then you'd think she'd just... not do it. I respect the hard work and creativity of both of these theorists, but I'll be passing on this option as well.

NUMBER THREE: EDEN FEELS REALLY, REALLY GUILTY ABOUT IT

Okay, so I maybe-sorta-lied: there are probably other ways that you could interpret Eden's emotional reactions to talking about Arei's death other than specifically her being guilty. However, given that guilt was already the justification I reached for the first Eden mini-breakdown in my Episode 13 Dissection, it may not come as a surprise that I'm staying on theme.

Before, I summarized that what Eden was saying to Levi was basically what she wanted to say or already said to herself. She knows that killing Arei was "wrong," so even though she thought it was the right thing to do, she wants to always remember Arei and acknowledge her faults as a form of penance. Also importantly, one facet of why Eden might be breaking down now is because (under the theory) she only learned that Arei truly wanted to change and be her friend in the Trial when David told her. It makes her feel extra guilty now knowing that she killed someone who wasn't just her bully, but someone who wanted to be better than that.

We're going to keep that rationale in mind as we now look through everything that Eden has to say at the end of Episode 14. The only thing of note that I will have to concede is that, even if Eden isn't a liar or a manipulator overall, any time she says anything along the lines of "I'm innocent!" or "I didn't kill Arei!", it has to be a boldface lie. Sorry, I don't like it either, but there's no way around it (outside of something like option 2). I otherwise want to claim that Eden is straight-up lying as little as possible, but this was kind of a gimme. But hey, that's why I have my doubts that any of this will turn out to be true as well.

Since this is its own post and not part of the Episode 14 Dissection, it means that I get 30 images to use on just this subject, hooray!

This is certainly a softball to start this defense off on. Eden can just be confused/upset that her efforts to evade being the blackened aren't working all of a sudden.

Similarly, this is just her rephrasing/challenging everyone's thoughts. Perhaps I should have cut out some of these beginning statements, but I'm always one for being thorough.

Don't worry, this is the last of these three. I will note, though, something that I actually only noticed on this watch-through. I was aware that Teruko and David both had shots that only showed their mouths and torsos with their eyes obscured in this episode, but apparently, Eden has one too. Of course, this could go either way: these shots could be reserved for the "major players" of this chapter-- the protagonist, killer, and someone who's clearly getting extra focus-- or, it could be more of a protag/antag/support thing. Or maybe DRDTdev just decided to start using this for highly emotional scenes.

Well, given that I'm trying to throw Eden under the bus in this post, it's clearly the first of the three. Don't listen to any clowns (<- me) who might tell you otherwise. (/j)

"Hold myself together" isn't as innocent-coded as it might seem on the surface. It seems pretty clear to me that Eden feels genuine sadness over Arei's passing no matter her role in Arei's death. However, being the blackened and having to keep a secret throughout the Trial might make coping with those emotions even more difficult. Fully breaking down in grief would be bad enough as an innocent, but as a blackened, it would basically be game over. Arei's death is the cause of her discomposure, which can still be equally true if she was the one to kill Arei.

This is quite possibly the line that I have the hardest time justifying in the context of Eden being guilty. I could obviously just say that she's lying here, but as I said at the start, I want to call what Eden says lies as minimally as possible. So, what are our other options?

Nico said earlier this episode that attempting to kill Ace was "the worst choice that [they'd] made in [their] life," so it could be fitting for both of our killers this chapter to feel the same way. After seeing what it was like to kill Arei and have everyone suspect you, Eden decides that whatever her motive for killing was wasn't worth it in the end. However, now that she's in this situation, she still has to stick with her initial plan (unless she wants to just die on the spot) because she can't go back, no matter how hard she tries--

For DRDT to enter its third chapter with the cast at their most hostile and downtrodden but also only having one killer who did so accidentally and two killers who deeply regretted it would be very interesting indeed.

Alternatively (or perhaps in combination), this could also be Eden being somewhat of a pessimist. If you're a blackened, you're generally hoping/expecting that everyone other than you will die. However, only one person's death is actually guaranteed-- your victim's. (Or two people's deaths if you kill two people, but that's not important to this case.) In theory, Eden choosing to kill Arei in particular doesn't really matter, because if she won the Class Trial, Arei would die anyways. However, now that Teruko has accused Eden, reality might be setting in for Eden as her dreams of being the one to escape flit away. In that case, she may be regretting her choice to victimize Arei-- if she's going to die for her attempt, she might at least wish that Arei got to live over some others.

I think the first option is probably the best from a thematic perspective, although both options certainly have their counterarguments.

Eden's (stellar) read on the "Why?" line definitely implies that she's frustrated, which could go either way. It's equally possible that she could be mad that people are suspecting her when she's innocent, or that she's upset that everyone is suddenly hounding her when she thought she was putting up a good front.

As for her leading question, if Eden is the killer, we've already seen her subtly mine for information at least once before. The conclusion of her last breakdown was her trying to ask David what really happened between him and Arei in the Relaxation Room. Now, asking this question might be intended to either shore up arguments she hopes to defend herself against, or force other people to "concede" that there are no reasons why Eden would have killed Arei. A bit of a dangerous gambit, but it's arguably more dangerous to have to come up with justifications about unknown arguments on the spot, especially when emotionally struggling.

Not gonna lie, though, the fact that she immediately followed up "why do you think I killed her" with "I cared about her!" also slants towards an innocent read. If you really were the culprit, I feel like you would start trying to argue against some of the solid evidence that people just presented (such as Levi bringing up the information required to write that note) with evidence of your own. Instead, Eden shoots straight for the emotional defense, even though no one was arguing that Eden never cared about Arei leading into this speech. (Arturo brings up her connection to Arei, but he never directly says it was because she didn't care.) It could speak to the fact that she was fully unprepared to be accused (because she didn't do it and had no idea about the tape).

However, Eden has always been a very emotional person, and it's possible that a big part of her intended defense was to say that she cared about Arei. Another interpretation is that Eden brought this up now because it's something she's insecure about. It sort of goes back to my idea that Eden is still desperately trying to cling to the idea that she's a "good person" despite her choice to kill. If that's true, the way that Eden is perceived as the killer might be very important to her. Like, obviously surviving the Trial itself is the most important thing, but Eden doesn't want anyone to misinterpret her as a monster on her path to the finish line.

I already explained why this line was sus as hell to me:

This distinction-- between "Arei was my friend" and "Arei could have been my friend"-- could be very telling down the line. Eden pauses mid-tear-filled rant to distinguish that Arei is not her friend, not because she's dead, but because they hadn't reached that point yet. Arei is not Eden's friend in death. What can that possibly mean other than that Eden killed Arei?

This is one of the lines that makes me most think that she is the blackened in this monologue. Because, seriously, why would she not have just said "Arei was my friend!" if there wasn't any doubt in her mind?

Alright, I think that about now is a good time for me to drop the thesis I've developed whilst reflecting on Eden's behavior and how to put all of the pieces together. Should I have said it earlier? Maybe, but where's the drama in that?

Basically, for starters, I don't think that Eden fully believed that Arei genuinely wanted to be her friend. As I've said before, Arei saving Eden from Arturo happened mere hours after Arei denounced her entire personality. It's super believable that Eden might think that Arei was just using her usual manipulative tricks to make Eden look like the fool again. However, despite all that, I don't think that Eden hated Arei, either. They were just in the exact same state that they were in before-- Arei as the bully and Eden as her target-- which Eden had never hated Arei for before. Eden wanted to help her and wanted to be friends with her, as she says in this screenshot, but that doesn't mean it could actually happen. Tragically, Eden determined that Arei wouldn't be able to change while being trapped in this killing game.

After that, Eden decides that she needs to kill to escape the school. The exact motives of which have puzzled Eden!culprit theorists for months, with current speculations still being that it may either have to do with her secret, the girl she kissed, or her family, who she told Levi she couldn't imagine living without. We've got time to cook on that in the post-Trial, if Eden is the killer. However, I also don't think that we should discount how scary the killing game has become.

Let's run through the events of Day 6 again, because it's a truly terrible day for Eden:

Eden wakes up in the morning and goes to rouse Teruko, who she has to blackmail in order to even get her to consider attending breakfast with the others. She tries to convince Teruko about the value of optimism, but Teruko only tells her that her worldview makes Teruko even less inclined to be her friend. Speaking of lack of friendship, Eden's chances at a peaceful breakfast-- which she had been hoping to use to bring everyone together-- are dashed when there are three separate shouting matches going on in the Dining Hall. Eden tries to assign her associates to break up the fights, but it goes terribly-- all she does is get Arturo and J mad at her, while Veronika only makes the situation between Ace and Nico worse.

After David's plan causes Charles (who has been making some of the most progress so far) to recall his traumatic past, Eden tries to invite Teruko and Arei to a fun event to brighten everyone's moods and right her wrongs of the past. Except that, when she does, Arei rejects her offer outright and brings up some of her biggest insecurities, causing Eden to run out of the room crying. Neither Teruko, who Eden has been trying super hard to befriend, nor David, who has (theoretically) been acting in the name of harmony and cooperation, run after her to offer her any comfort.

Despite David's lack of support, though, she still decides to support him by following his idea to let Arturo know about his secret. Trying to do so nearly costs her her life. She's just one unarmed 5'2" clockmaker against a clearly agitated 6'3" surgeon with a scalpel, and she's only saved by the bully who just said that Eden "utterly disgust[ed] her in every way." Arei now claims that she'd do anything for Eden, but is that just another setup through which Arei can make fun of her trusting nature in the future...? Eden wants to hope, but it's hard to do so when the person who just saved you was the one who told you you shouldn't.

Anyways, even despite a long afternoon of Nico being outed and a long night of being stalked by probably-Arturo, Eden is still trying to help Teruko pick up her clothes when she runs into Teruko in the Dress-Up Room. But since nothing can go right for Eden today, it's then when she and Teruko hear a loud noise, and they stumble upon Ace's body in the Gym-- the second murder attempt Eden has seen today. Nico is standing over Ace, really making it look like they killed him. Gosh, if only someone had been able to talk to the two of them this morning in a productive way, instead of making things worse. Thankfully, Ace is still alive, but less thankfully, he's now a convert to killing and wants to eliminate Nico. The day ends with Ace saying that this place is worse than death and Levi-- who Eden had just been praising for being kind and reliable-- giving up on his former friend.

Are you starting to see why Eden started planning murder and picked up the tape when she did?

Looking at it through that perspective, I don't even know if Eden needs a reason outside of the killing game to want to be the blackened and escape. If we can accept that Ace's motive would be to escape the situation in which he almost died, it feels like we should be able to acknowledge that Eden could be motivated by the exact same thing.

Obviously, it's harder to believe that Eden would kill than Ace, because Eden generally cares about everybody and Ace (other than Levi, once) didn't really like anyone. However, I, at least, don't think it would be totally narratively unsatisfying for Eden's reason for killing to be that her bandwidth for caring for others was overloaded, and with no one supporting her (and at least one party actively attacking her), her fears of the killing game got the better of her, if only just for a moment.

Getting back on track, Eden's terrible awful no good very bad day has inspired her to kill, but who does she take down as her victim? Well, as we've established before, if Eden wins, everyone will die anyways, so it's not like she's really "sparing anyone's life" by not killing them here. She's already made her peace with everyone as she knows them dying. And after that, despite the care she still has for Arei, she chooses Arei as her victim because of what Arei told her after Arturo attacked Eden. But, I'll reiterate, Eden doesn't hate Arei. Instead, Eden chooses Arei because she thinks Arei is the victim that will make her look the least suspicious.

Just because Eden doesn't believe that Arei really wanted to be her friend doesn't mean that other people won't. In fact, I think that Arturo would definitely believe that the two of them had turned over a new leaf. In this situation, Eden is aware that her best path to innocence is to play up her kindhearted personality in order to lead people to believe that she would never hurt a fly. Therefore, she decides to leave the note behind so that people will hear about the story of Arturo attacking her. In my Episode 14 dissection, I was spinning my wheels trying to figure out why Eden would possibly want anyone to find that note. However, this option would create a reason why Eden would want others to read the note. The mere fact that Arei decided to come to the Playground would serve as evidence that Arei really did care about Eden, and therefore make Eden seem more innocent. Maybe she overstepped a bit on revealing so much about Arturo's secret in the note, but given that everyone seems to believe that the killer overhearing the conversation was possible anyways, it's not a huge deal.

However, there is a contradiction here that you may have picked up on. Why would Eden count on using a note to draw Arei out to the Playground if she didn't believe that Arei would actually listen to her? I raise you a new idea: who says that note was actually real?

For those who believe that Eden isn't the killer, the thought that someone falsified writing that note isn't anything revolutionary. However, if other culprits could plant that note as a fake, who's to say that Eden didn't do the same?

I believe it was demodraws606 who recently raised the question of why Eden would even bother writing a note to Arei when she could have just gone up and knocked on her door. (Apologies, I tried to find the post in which they said that but I couldn't track it down 😔) That excellent question set off the domino chain that made me think... well, maybe she did.

Eden works through the night (14 hour shifts, baby) setting up the pieces of her murder contraption in the Playground and writing a fake note that she "sent" to Arei. However, instead of sending that note to Arei, she goes to Arei's room herself and knocks on her door at, like, 7 AM or something. Eden doesn't necessarily believe that Arei will answer, but, if she doesn't-- that's not the worst thing in the world, right? It's not like she's particularly pressed about the secrets deadline, and she left herself with enough time to put away her murder scheme if necessary. Unfortunate, but assuming that she lives another day, she can try again some other time. However, instead, Arei opens the door (because, unbeknownst to Arei, she really did want to be friends with Eden), sealing her fate.

This also opens the opportunity for the scene of knocking Arei out to be in the doorway of Arei's room, instead of in the Playground. I always wondered how the scuffs on the floor would be so contained to one area near the entrance to the Playground. Like, the whole rope setup must have been at least somewhat set up by the time Arei entered the Playground, right? If Arei saw that, why wouldn't she start running away? And, in the case of Eden as the culprit specifically, would she really be able to subdue Arei in such a small area? If Arei was knocked out in her room, we wouldn't be able to see any evidence of that happening, because no one searched her room. That also leaves open the opportunity for Eden to have tossed any items she used to knock out Arei into Arei's room, where no one would be able to find them. And, hell, let's rope the glove into this, too! If Arei was never even intending to get dressed up to the level of leaving her room, maybe she hadn't yet put on her glove when Eden taped her wrists! It's weak reasoning, but it's a reasoning, at least!

(Also, if you're wondering how the scuffs on the ground could have gotten there if Arei wasn't subdued in the Playground, sorastar6 also recently made a theory that the ground was actually scuffed up after the jugs broke and the turf became wet, and it was the killer walking through a puddle that messed up the ground.)

After that, yada yada, ropes and carousel, Arei dies, investigation, Class Trial.

Eden is trying her best to just lay low and survive the Class Trial, but a wrench is thrown her way when David reveals to her that, after she left the Playground, Arei confessed to David and Teruko that she actually wanted to change. This goes against everything that Eden thought. Part of her reason for murder was that no one was willing to work with her, and now she learns that she just killed the one person who actually was? That's terrible! It can't be! David, please tell me the rest of that story!!!

At this point, you might wonder why, if Eden feels horribly guilty about killing Arei and unsure of her former conviction that the best thing she could do would be to get out of here alive, she wouldn't just confess to the crime already. Beyond her desire to survive herself, I think it could be because she wants Arei's death to have meaning.

If Eden gives up, it means that she killed Arei for no reason. She made the huge, irreversible decision to kill Arei, and then decided to throw it away when things got tough. But she won't let herself brush away the deaths she caused just because it was inconvenient for her.

She won't let her emotions take precedence over the harm that she caused.

She has to acknowledge that Arei's death was her fault.

Which means that, just like Min did, she has to fight like a proper blackened would if she wants to prove that she cared about enough Arei to believe that her life had meaning.

And that's why Eden is so insistent that she didn't kill Arei because she hated her. She isn't someone who believed that Arei was fully incapable of change, and she still cared about Arei a lot. And so, she'll honor Arei's legacy by taking to heart what Arei said to her.

Those are my general thoughts on how to justify Eden's breakdown at the end of the episode-- although, obviously, we still have more to go. That awkward middle placement strikes again, huh? But, I do think it has its benefits, which is why I'm keeping it here. We get to balance some buildup before the point with the lens of seeing some of the dialogue after the point. Let's wrap up the rest of this a bit quicker, shall we?

Since we're a while from the start, let me just issue a refresher that this post is assuming that every time Eden says "I didn't kill Arei" she is just lying. Yes, it assumes that Eden is willing to lie in a Class Trial, but I think that any 18 year old would be capable of pulling that off if their life was at stake, no matter how sweet they may seem.

This could also be another instance of Eden assessing the situation via asking a question.

This line would be tying back to the assumption that Eden's main plan for getting away with the crime (other than possibly framing Nico with the murder method) was to pull the emotional defense that others wouldn't believe that she killed. The tears could still absolutely be borne of genuine fear, but the choice to reach for help from Teruko could be her planned fallback if things got dicey. If she is the killer, then the evidence should stack against her, meaning that "belief" is her best way out of receiving votes. This is her hail mary.

"This trial has been cruel to me" is 100% right if she is the blackened who got jumpscared by knowing that Arei cared. After she initially acted against her instincts to kill for the sake of her life, she then has to face consequences that she didn't even think were possible, all while keeping a straight face. For whoever the killer is, can you imagine how stressful it must have been to have David extend the Trial for so much longer with his nonsense? (Mondo with Byakuya vibes in Ch2, honestly. The THH parallels never rest.)

Again, we're saying "I didn't kill her" is a lie, while "I just wanted to help her" was the truth. Something more along the lines of "I just wanted to help Arei, but she seemingly rejected my every effort, so I killed her but without the knowledge that my help was actually getting through to her" is what we're aiming for here.

I decided to combine these two together because I didn't have much to say about the first one on its own. One interesting thing to note here is what thebadjoe pointed out: Eden says that friends are supposed to help each other out, yet in Chapter 2 Episode 3, she was the one telling Teruko that relationships aren't transactional. What changed between now and then?

Well, this is much more in keeping with Arei's "that's what friends do" philosophy, which could either be a further indication that she was taking Arei's words to heart (for better or for worse) or that she's just desperate enough that she needs to count on Teruko in this moment if she wants to survive (again, whether genuinely innocent or guilty). It could mean nothing, but it could also be an indication of Eden's more manipulative side, if she's making an emotional argument that goes against her own philosophy just because she knows it'll strike a chord with Teruko.

(Of course, you can basically counterbalance this "inconsistency" with the one that one post (yet ANOTHER post I cannot fucking re-find) pointed out with Ace saying "I would never commit a murder of my own" with him previously saying that he was "about to commit a murder of his own" on Nico. They can't both be the killer unless something really weird is going on, so at least one of these "inconsistencies" has to mean nothing.)

Also, while I wouldn't go so far as to say that Eden is faking her tears over Arei (because that's clearly not true) there's also room for Eden to be crying here because she feels bad about manipulating Teruko, but as established before, still feels like she has to go through with it. Her acting doesn't have to be impeccable if the crying is covering up the crying she would already be doing.

'Cause sometimes, the breaks you take in between sniffles can conceal the breaks you would be taking as you struggle to lie to Teruko's face! Hypothetically.

"Please trust me, Teruko. You're my only hope."

In this hypothetical, I think we have to assume that Eden is just genuinely surprised that the super-smart Teruko wasn't able to see through her act. It might come as a shock that the same Teruko who said that Eden's kindness made her want to stay farther away would now see Eden's pleading as a sign to protect her. (Another judgment of character that Eden made incorrectly.)

And now, for the other hardest part to justify...

With the combination of the soft music (the same music that plays during the "kindness isn't weakness" scene, mind you) and the bokeh lights and the line deliveries and everything, this does feel like pretty convincing evidence that Eden is not the killer. But, if we're talking about the world in which she is, I do think that she still feels genuinely relieved here. The hug isn't directly manipulative, it's just thanking Teruko for giving her another shot at life.

Furthermore, it's a confirmation that, in Teruko's eyes, Eden still isn't a "bad person"-- at least not yet. Eden needs to continue believing that she's a good person with good ideas if she wants to have any hopes of fighting back against the cold and cruel world she was telling Teruko about. If she's become just as cold and cruel as the rest of them, then there's no way for her to be optimistic or kind, and therefore, no way to escape the grief that's haunting her. Eden has yet to learn that a good person is not gold, so that's the only world that she sees.

And, that's Eden's last line of the episode! Before we wrap up, though, I do want to talk about how Eden being the culprit would affect the story as a whole, as you touched upon that in your ask. Mainly, I want to talk about the big problem that many people have with Eden being the killer: what would happen to Teruko if it's proven that one of her closest allies is the killer again? We don't want a repeat of Chapter 1, but how do you avoid that after that hug?

As is my M.O., I'm here to argue that there are two ways you can make the situation different: by making it better or making it worse. In terms of making it better, I think that thefandomenchantress argued for it well in this post. If Eden's gotten her most desperate moment out of the way now, she might have room to be a bit more accepting in her final moments, and be able to reassure Teruko that just because she killed doesn't mean nobody is worthy of trust. In fact, Eden is so sad now because she didn't have enough trust in Arei, and look where that landed her! We could end Eden off on at least being happy that she and Arei were both able to change in the ways that the other wanted for them (Arei becoming more helpful and Eden becoming more responsible) and her being happy that at least the other students get to live.

On the other hand, you could make it worse. Venus-is-thinking and I have discussed together before how different Min and Eden's situations are, because while Min only really tried getting close to Teruko after her crime was already committed, Eden has been trying to become Teruko's friend for ages, before the idea to murder even crossed her mind. This death would be even more personal, as it can more so be argued that Teruko's lack of trust is part of what drove Eden to kill, whereas with Min, it was just that Teruko initially trusting Min opened her more up to hurt. You might argue that this would just cause Teruko to pull away even more harshly (which is still bad), but that's not necessarily the case. Maybe her breakdown this time drives her to get in people's faces so that they'll die even faster and she can rip the bandage off. Along those lines, maybe she'd even try to get closer to those she least trusts right now (like David) because clearly, her curse will cause those who she spends the most time with to die. The circumstances around Teruko have changed, which means that we can't expect the same sort of pressure to necessarily yield the same result.

As for your concerns about Eden's impact on Arei and genuine-seeming emotions, hopefully my main dissertation answers how I'd explain that ^_^

If you're wondering how I feel... well, despite everything that I wrote, I'm honestly kinda thinking that it's Ace at this point. Don't get me wrong, I think that the Eden read is still out there, but given how seemingly little time we have until the culprit is revealed, there may not be enough time to unpack anything close to this before the gavel comes down. Everyone keeps posting their polls about who people think is the killer, and I keep flip-flopping on whether I choose Eden or Ace as my answer. I wouldn't be surprised if either of them did it, except that--

Well, let's be honest. At this point, I'm going to be flabbergasted by whoever the culprit is, just because it's them.

Thank you for the ask, and see you on Friday!

[monkey-network]

The Beauty of 12 Angry Men

I remembered in 6th grade lit reading Franz Kafka's The Trial, a story about everything judicial being set in stone for someone completely out of the loop. The bureaucracy behind Josef K.'s fate is never given a cause, no method helps him, and after a year he's at the mercy of a situation nobody said would be fair to him. It was a striking story to me, and lead me into recognizing Sidney Lumet and Reginald Rose's 12 Angry Men as a similar yet antithetical story. The film keeps everything in the dark except for the titular jurors trying to piece the case together for a boy expected to get the death penalty. The matter though, is that the defendant's fate was clear from the start and the journey is about getting to that thread's end. What follows is one of the most well written, performed, and staged movies I watched in my entire life and I just wanted to finally talk about it. So, let's talk.

Setting the Stage

It takes three minutes almost exactly for the title to appear. You get the mission statement from the judge, a good scan of the main characters, and a single moment of the defendant's face, basically the only time you ever get to see said defendant for the whole movie. After that, we the audience are locked in the deliberation room where the film starts to shine after the credits role.

For the longest time watching movies, I was so used to big colorful settings, the characters going places even if it's just another place to talk, where it's a gamble if you can memorize those places. Oppenheimer last year became the widely regarded movie that consisted of next to nothing but conferencing in rooms. Even in older movies, things were never shot in the same spot for long. This film was the first instance where they stripped everything and worked with bare bones staging. All it is are the men in that one room. No flashbacks, no cuts to anything beyond the group speaking. The only other places you get are the adjacent men's restroom and the courthouse steps at the film's very end, scenes of which add to less than 4 minutes. And you would think it gets boring, but 'focus' is the keyword behind everything. The fact there's next to no music adds to it having an actually engaging script that doesn't manipulate or go to unnecessary places to get the point across.

12 Angry Men is what I'd call a "dynamic stage play" where you could imagine yourself seeing this in a live theater, but it wouldn't have worked as well without the secret main character that is the camera. This film knows how to prevent things from getting too static; the cinematography is... well-paced in laments terms. Again, in that one room, you're engaged in where it's focused, how it moves with the characters, when it cuts especially when it closes in on the jurors at their most serious. From a technical perspective, it's immersive at its simplest. No juror feels left out even when out of frame and nothing distracts you from the brilliant acting everyone brings to the literal table. After seeing this, I felt like this was the kind of movie I'd want to make. One that can work with so little but feel as tightly coordinated as any other similar to this. Then again, I wouldn't have concerned about this movie on technicalities alone. Let's get to the story.

The Stakes of Uncertainty

The trial is a first degree murder charge where if unanimously found guilty, the defendant would be sentenced to the electric chair. Everything surrounding this film hinges on the one person who votes not guilty, juror 8. Number Eight makes it clear that his vote is not about bias, there's never a hint at him or anyone having a relation to the defendant outside the case. His vote is the biggest gamble dependent of everyone retracing their steps of the details surrounding the trial, and what I love most about this is the fairness.

Eight doesn't know if the boy's not guilty, he never forces anybody to side with him, but recognizes that the defendant's life is a serious matter and shouldn't be as open shut as everyone else makes it in the beginning. The film shows within reason that the trial wasn't as clean cut as it seemed. And I know the movie isn't judicially accurate and everything's circumstantial, assumptive, and so on. If there's any real issue the film has for me is that they never indict Eight for sneaking in the switchblade even though that scene is still a goddamn show stealer.

Henry Fonda excellently portrayed a man who knew how to play the cards right

Then again, the increased flimsiness of the trial made with the uncertainty of the outcome is the point. We never get the sentencing after the men leave that room, it's all about Eight showing the others that the boy's life deserved more deliberation than the others were willing to give him. Hell, it discusses that trials like this can and have existed where measures of the outcome are made beyond the defendant's control. Breaking through the easy decision every other juror had was more valuable, and Juror 8 did that responsibly while never trying to be above anyone. That in turn is what makes this ensemble cast nearly flawless.

The Angry Men

Before ever seeing it, I've seen a couple jokes of this movie's premise of how it was nothing but said 12 men who sure were angry. Having now seen it myself, it's amazing how much we get to know about the jurors yet only two are ever given names. You'd think the film would give them simple archetypes and gimmicks, but even if you disregarded the acting chops everyone brings, the writing was able to balance who they each are relative to the case and each other. You can memorize which juror is which yet that never makes them just a number on the table.

To me, the best part about this film is how the group is able to collectively debate about the trial with individual motives and understandings. Jurors Eight and Three are the focal characters, they're the most opposing, but I don't consider them the main characters. A Youtube video I watched explores this better than I ever could, but everyone is in this together, regardless of how present they are in the movie and you notice this in their behavior. The character writing made with the simple staging does so much while explaining so little.

Juror Four, who reveals himself to be a stock broker, is the most clinical about the details. He does his best in retracing the trial as factual as possible, discussing the evidence in a way not even Eight is able to fight. What makes him crack though is when it came to jurors Eight, Five, and Nine bringing up certain conditions of the defendant and witnesses that he didn't care to notice. Juror Nine is the opposite, concerning about the witnesses' conditions and probable influences which helped reveal factual doubts in their testimonies.

Juror Seven from the getgo is made the most detached of the group. By the way he's dressed, constantly checking the time, while capable of paying attention Seven is the most dismissive of the case for the simple reason of just wanting to leave for baseball. This is where he comes into conflict with jurors Two and Eleven especially. Eleven is expressively respectful toward the judicial due process, mentioning himself being an immigrant, which makes him eventually fed up with Seven's disinterest. He's not somebody who changed his vote easily nor adds a lot to the debate himself, but recognizes Eight's efforts of a fair discussion and naturally confronts Seven about his constant snide attitude towards the case.

One of the film's strongest moments, where the build up was genuine even if you felt it was unexpected

Everyone makes sense with is established about them in the beginning and I could go on about the little things. Juror Nine, being the first to switch his vote, is the only one who meets with Eight outside in the film's end. You can tell by Juror Twelve fiddling with his glasses and concerned of having the info laid out sequentially is the most flippant about his vote. Juror Five being more likely to change his vote out of sympathy, having grown up and is more knowledgeable of the slums given that's the defendant's home. Nothing about this movie or ensemble is complicated, but the through-line behind everyone's choices in this gets to be more complex than realized. Everything about this is encapsulated in my favorite scene of the whole movie.

Pulling It All Back

Juror Ten is the most openly bigoted of the ensemble. From the start he is racially motivated in his vote, but that's not expressed until a little later. Of that point, he's certain of himself like juror Three about the vote being clear while scoffing at Eight's opposition. When the cracks of the case start to show, Ten's arrogance starts to show and his words become charged. He becomes the most hostile toward everyone and especially gets a rise out of Juror Five when talking about "these people". Everything comes to ahead when the vote is 9 to 3 for not guilty. Ten finally has his outburst, his racial rant unspecified but striking all the checkmarks of a man that stuck in his ways. Then it happens.

Everyone put up with his remarks up to that point, but here they finally step away and we get the most striking moment of a man finally alone with his thoughts. After Juror Four tells him off, Ten goes to the corner desk and basically shuts down for the remainder of the movie. This was the film's strongest payoff in every sense. It wouldn't have worked without the buildup just as much as the civility that came with everyone involved. Nobody had to throw a punch or challenge his beliefs, you never know if this changed Ten as a person, all that matters was that Ten knew he exasperated any goodwill from the jury and finally checked out the conversation. 12 Angry Men knew how to make the characters see their errors naturally, never feeling like they played up the drama for everyone to get their moment.

Conclusion

To me, I'm reminded of when in 6th grade, my literature teacher would have these Socratic seminars discussing the books we'd read. You could say it was the most involved I was in that class. This film knew how to capture that feeling, how towrite a roundtable where the stakes are high from the start but doesn't make it sanctimonious. Again, Juror Eight doesn't force or manipulate the others to see things his way. They try to convince him initially, adding up to a tangled but mutual engagement and it always feels like you're with them in the moment. You feel Eight's uncertainty is as sincere as his conviction, the same going for everyone else involved. The fact they're all sitting in sequential, helping you naturally follow who is who, is the cherry on top.

Before watching this, I didn't presume much beyond a simple courtroom drama which I enjoy ever since Ace Attorney. What followed after was just being more than impressed by how concise and thoughtful this was made. No second felt wasted, no detail felt trivial, ALL THIS and not even mentioning it being like a "bottle episode". Believe me, this post is long enough fanboying about a film from the 50s. It earned being the most ergonomic and engaging movies I've ever seen. If this essay wasn't enough, I recommend it at least once in your life as it's free to watch. What else is there to say?

It's the Best

[ivanwm-05]

UPDATE

I've been able to partially integrate the stats check system, and along with its integration, there has been a big rewrite of a lot of scenes, and most route's general flow before the first segment's end.

The stat check system and rewrite, however, only stop before the end of the first segment, for now.

I've added a unique background along with a rewrite for the Regeneration route.

The unique background was also added for the Enhanced intellect route, but it hasn't been implemented there yet.

The routes updated are:

Public: General updates (Rewrites and partial stat check in place), Regeneration (rewrite), Time Manipulation, and the previously Patreon exclusive: Pocket dimension, God mode, and Gaia (side story)

Patreon Exclusive: Superhuman route.

Note: I'm sorry, I forgot to notify people on Tumblr regarding the poll I set up, I ended up Implementing both game playthroughs, and allowed for the player to choose what playthrough they preferred in the beginning based on how immersive they wanted it, I did this because of the sheer number of people that voted each option.

Note: For the best play experience in Regeneration, I recommend using the unique background available.

Also, the main reason for some of the rewrites is because the check system that'll also govern the free roam called for it, and some things needed to be added story-wise

Thank you all again for your continuous support, feedback, and suggestions, and most importantly, thank you all for your patience with me😭.

Also, please notify me if you have any more feedback, suggestions, or complaints to share. You can always use the comment section, question, or even DM me.

[noah-parsons]

( Archie Renaux. cis-man. he/him. ) did you hear ? NOAH PARSONS is stuck in stonehaven for the foreseeable future … they've lived here for FOUR YEARS and are known around town as THE CHAMELEON, though back in high school they were better known for being voted BEST ACTOR. if i'm not mistaken, they’re a TWENTY-TWO year old senior studying JOUNALISM ( i really hope that translates well into their role as a COMMUNICATOR in the ‘new world' ). according to my records they were originally on the trip because they wanted to appease their girlfriend — which checks out, given they’re CLEVER, APATHETIC and INSINCERE. if you’re ever trying to find them, your best bet is to start at waterside mini golf and listen for someone humming leave the door open by bruno mars. oh, and don’t forget to try calling out Noah or picturing the flash of a coin curling over knuckle, lies sweeter than honey, a pair of redbull cans, and smiles worn like armor for extra help. let's hope the chaos doesn't get to them …

B A S I C S .

birth  name  : Noah James Parsons

nickname(s)  : N/A

date  of  birth  : May 31st

age  : 22

gender  : cis man

pronouns  : he/him

sexuality  : bisexual

relationship  status  : it's complicated

birthplace  : blue ridge, indiana

education  : currently  studying  journalism  at  stonehaven  college

occupation  : waiter (previousy), communicator (currently)

F A M I L Y.

mother  : dianne parsons (aged: 44)

father  : elliot marks (aged: 56)

siblings : benjamin parsons (deceased), simon parsons (14)

B I O G R A P H Y .

he was a born liar. white lies when he was young. tucking his head down and pointing a finger at a brother when a vase was broken or a bathtub overflowed.

he was the son of nobody. though everyone in blue ridge, called that nobody elliot. the no-good charmer that worked a drill in the middle of lake michigan. the type of man that never offered anything but a smile.

his mother was from a respectable family once. but she tossed that out the window for elliot. she was twenty-two when she had elliot. twenty-six when she had benjamin. thirty when she had simon.

three boys that knew their father in spurts and stops. that knew him by the flash of headlights through their childhood bedroom.

noah was the carbon copy of the man. idolized him for years.

arguments simmered between his parents though and one night his father came into noah's bedroom, knocked him on the chin, and asked 'you look after the little ones, right?' noah nodded. (it was his worst lie.)

he never saw his dad after that. elliot went to chicago or new york city. he went to seattle or to phoenix. all that mattered is that he left.

his mother was a woeful single parent. there were microwaved dinners and forgotten birthdays. failed pick-ups and depressing holidays

there was little benjamin at nine left to swim unattended. and noah grabbing ice creams and hearing the lifeguard's whistle.

at the funeral he promised simon he'd always look after him. (and that was never meant to be a lie.)

he grew tall in high school, learned how to bend a room to his smile. learned how to charm and to manipulate the truth. over the dinner table his mom would glare at him. 'you've got your father's tongue,' she'd say.

blue ridge had his number and his story and after parsing together grades he settled on stone haven college. it was forty minutes from home. an acceptable distance to commute day in and day out.

college was tabula rasa for him. he built himself from the ground up. he worked his way into frat parties where he could chug beer with frat brothers, and into study groups with some of the smartest people enrolled. he could be something for anyone.

he studied journalism, slanting toward a future in a big city. and he worked part-time back in blue ridge. slept in his childhood bed and made sure that simon got up and went to school everyday

his relationships never lasted long. he'd never take a partner home or get to the point where he was fully honest with them.

he went on this outreach trip to appease the latest partner. to soothe her anger. their fight in the middle of the trip, had her calling a friend to pick her up. she wasn't trapped here.

he was.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I’m relatively new to the fandom and have really enjoyed a lot of your posts… I have a question that I couldn’t quickly find an answer to in searching through your tags…

What’s the deal with streaming? Like, I listen to BTS. I enjoy them a lot, I listen to a pretty even mix of all their albums though I probably like MOTS:7 era the best). Some days I listen to them like all day lol (if I’m cleaning the house or something) and I listen to them a lot in the car or while working. I’ve enjoyed some solo releases more than others so I naturally streamed those more. but like the more I start following accounts on here and on army twt the more confused I get about the intense pressure to stream constantly? I’ve heard that people play certain songs (or albums I guess?) on repeat on mute and/or have dedicated streaming devices they keep going all the time.

Not to be negative or rude at all but like…what? Maybe because I’m new to KPop and have never followed it until BTS but that just sounds so weird and… idk the word, maybe disingenuous? Again I do not mean this as an attack I am just genuinely confused. Wouldn’t BTS themselves want us only to listen if we were actually enjoying it and not out of some competitive attempt to get better ratings? It feels so odd to me, like that is not how I would behave with any other artist that I love. I would only ever listen to them out of a genuine desire to hear their music. But there seems to be so much weird shaming out there for when/if songs are not streamed heavily enough? And for any other artist I would just write that off as a difference in taste among the fandom, but here it’s treated like a personal wrong against the artist…?

But as I say that I’m sure there’s more to it… I have definitely seen people talking about payola or chart manipulation so idk. If I should google this instead, just tell me to, I just have already tried and didn’t find that much clarity, just a bunch of people on quora and Reddit talking about certain songs not getting streamed enough.

Anyways this is super long, sorry if it annoys you. Just thought you seemed knowledgeable and levelheaded enough to ask? Love your posts. All the best.

*

Ask 2:

Okay wait I’m the anon that just asked about streaming and I went and re-read your post about “inorganic success” — I had read it before but somehow I didn’t put together that the 24-7 streaming is an attempt to combat payola or like go up against it I guess. Okay. That makes more sense. I still feel like there’s a weird focus on charting but I guess if it’s about getting more concert venues and more radio play it makes sense.

You can ignore my last ask then I’m sorry if I’m being dense or something lol.

***

You haven’t at all asked a stupid question. Your confusion is easily explained by you being new to k-pop, and everyone new to this madhouse asks this question eventually. I’ve talked about this before, but can’t find the post for the life of me so I’ll briefly go over it again.

First, you need to understand what k-pop is. K-pop is a system that gamifies music consumption. Competition is something you’ll see in the music industry regardless. Western stans such as Arianators, Barbz, and the Beyhive have organized around streaming goals and efforts for at least 10 years now. But there’s no other music industry that explicitly emphasizes competition among groups and fans, the way the k-pop industry does.

Competition is baked into its DNA:

From the idol training system under agencies with supposed specialities that are treated like warring houses a la Game of Thrones (a mentality created by the Big 3),

to the music shows where fans are encouraged to vote daily and weekly for the best artists and where wins are tied to streaming numbers,

to the highly publicized year-end award show criteria that outline key metrics for wins in streams, sales, and fan votes.

Basically, the k-pop industry creates a clear hierarchy of talent and acclaim for artists in their system, directly stokes fan participation in buying into that hierarchy, and the numbers are the easiest litmus test/short cut to settle the question of who is at the top.

And all of this is served with a cocktail of parasocial delusion and entitlement that has (more easily manipulated) fans thinking their perceived investment into their faves, earns them the right to micromanage their fave idols’ careers. All of this benefits the labels and industry because they’d rather have you more engaged (even if toxically), than not.

Everybody here buys into this system despite what they’ll tell you, some just manage to keep their wits and perspective to prevent getting sucked in, while others fall headfirst into it.

And so, like I said in my ‘inorganic success’ post you referenced, the focus on streaming is part of fans really just playing the game. Excess is something you’ll see on the charts in any case, whether in k-pop or in the West.

The difference with BTS and ARMYs however, is in the why of how the fandom streams. Essentially, you’re more likely to find people just as passionate about the music itself as they are about giving that music its due in hard numbers and consequently, recognition. You’re more likely to find fans like this in the ARMY fandom, than any other, in my opinion. Some people forget that the og ARMYs were k-pop fans first. They were fans who intimately understood how this system worked, they understood why the Big3 maintained dominance in k-pop for literal decades, and they saw the worth in the music BTS made, loved it enough to invest time into the playing the game better than anyone else at the time - pushing BTS from nugu status to where they are now, competing well outside the realm of the k-pop system but in a space that remains complex and highly competitive.

Another aspect that differentiates how ARMYs stream vs other k-pop fandoms, is that due to the sheer size of the fandom in absolute numbers, the average ARMY typically streams less than a typical k-pop stan. Basically, in other fandoms the typical stan has to stream more per person to have even a fraction of the gains seen in the ARMY fandom. ARMYs also aren’t doing anything other fandoms aren’t doing, it’s just that so far, they’re more efficient at it and don’t have to worry too much because BTS makes music that keeps attracting more fans, adding to the size of the fandom. They’ve also generally stayed away from more illegal methods given the intense scrutiny and animosity the fandom has faced for being part of the reason BTS upended the ordained hierarchy in this space. It sounds silly but it’s true.

But that’s only one side of the story. The other side is that in the fandom, everybody here really just does what they want. And many people genuinely enjoy listening to BTS that much and that intensely. Going by personal experience in what I observed before I became ARMY, I noticed that many ARMYs are Type A and organized - people who like and study data. The first time in my life that I saw someone create a spreadsheet for fan theories on a k-pop MV, was when an ARMY made one for I NEED U MV. I’m not sure what it is about BTS, but from the beginning they’ve attracted the sort of fans who genuinely enjoy listening to music often, people who enjoy creating and playing around with playlists, and people who track and measure applicable data. So your assumption that the people who stream like this are people who don’t actually enjoy the music, is wrong. In my opinion. For a lot of ARMYs, streaming and appreciating the music isn’t mutually exclusive.

Personally, I listen to music a lot. And I’ve always been that way, so when I became ARMY, I just sort of naturally fit into that culture. The sort of music BTS makes is a joy to listen to, I play their stuff literally everyday and it feels like the most normal thing in the world for me to sleep to Serendipity sometimes (in my sleep playlist which includes brown noise and rain sounds), or to do laundry to Let Me Know playing, or to drive to UGH and Set Me Free Pt 2 playing. I have multiple accounts because I listen to all kinds of music all the time, and it’s just convenient for me to have things set up such that I can flip on a playlist in every situation I’d want one on.

But like I said, the reality is that everyone in this fandom does what they want. It’s true there are certain people in the fandom who obsess over streaming, these are typically chartmys and akgaes, but most other people stream however they like. Fandom in general is a pressure cooker environment so I don’t blame you for noticing that pressure, but at the end of the day you really should just do what makes the most sense to you.

ARMYs generally recognize the reality of the space they are in, they recognize what it means for BTS, and most simply tweak their normal listening habits to maximize the gain and support to BTS. Plus sometimes it’s fun to play into fandom’s initiatives as a way to connect with other fans (such as in streaming parties).

I ended up rambling but let me know if this answered your question.

[fatsamsgrandslamspeakeasy]

Joy Reid knows nothing about, nor gives a rat's ass about SAVING CHILDREN!!!!! Never mind that Trump and Homan and ICE have so far snared more than 4,500 violent criminals including convicted murderers, gang members and kidnappers, making the streets of American cities a hell of a lot safer than they were under 4 years of Reid's darling Biden and Harris! And all of this in literally just 1 week + 1 day of Trump taking the reins at the WH!!!!!!

What Reid and her ilk need to get thru their "dumber than a box of rocks heads" is that their shallow, hyperbolic left-wing political rhetoric that liberals have gotten away for almost 2 decades now is over with. Nobody that isn't stuck in the mire of leftist group-think is paying any mind to these irrational, baseless platitudes any longer. Not only that, a growing majority of people are shunning this kind of sophomoric finger-pointing and name-calling that has become the trademark of progressives in America today. The country is not woke any longer, but it's definitely awake to the fact that the political ideals implemented and the direction of the nation over the last 4 years are dreadfully bad for the American people and America itself and Americans are turning their back on all of it at a rapid pace. One company after another dropping their DEI programs countrywide, for the simple reason that they are ineffective, inefficient, and racially motivated at the core. Wokism is crumbling like a stale pound cake in a rainstorm as we speak. Rational voters are noticing (it would be virtually impossible NOT to notice) that President Trump ran on very specific policy initiatives and has wasted absolutely no time at all delivering on those promises that his constituency voted for. This is a far cry from any other president we've elected in a long, long time, and it's resonating with the American people in a big way. The pendulum is swinging from left to right, and it's gaining momentum day by day. Identity politics is finished. Calling everyone who disagrees with your political narratives, a racist, misogynist, fascist or whatever other ist-labels has failed and failed miserably. Consider for a moment that people who have been lecturing anyone who will listen about the sanctity of immigration because they care so deeply about how American it is, are now advocating for the deportation of Elon Musk and Melania Trump. Obviously, proving what many of us knew all along, progressives couldn't possibly care less about protecting those who immigrate to America, they used the issue to pretend they're better people than others, only to totally abandon their own spoken principles when their political rhetoric failed to produce the desired results. The left doesn't believe in their ideology anymore than I do... and I think it's phony, pathetic, and insidiously manipulative garbage.

The Trump Train is rolling, and that's because his ideals are common-sense based, clearly stated, and overtly pro-America at every conceivable level. It's only going to pick up more speed and momentum as we go forward. He's only been in office 8 days, and the mood of the nation is obviously better, as Trump's current poll numbers clearly reflect.

My suggestion is to get on or get the fuck out of the way.

[intoloopin-archive]

5!!!

CONGRATS! YOU GOT … TOB!

Time Of Bloom, mostly known under the acronym TOB [to-be], was a fictional south korean boy group debuted in early 2016 and disbanded in late 2017 under shell company Songflower Music, with the Top13 finalist of the fictional reality show Spring Teens, an attempt to compete with the rising Produce series and I.O.I. LINEUP (13): Irrelevant. Proved to be extremely manipulated. HITS INCLUDE: Fly (2016). Hard Carry (2016). Really Really (2017). Spring Day (2017). CONCEPT: None. NOTORIOUS MEMBERS: Hype, Hosung, Yoo Geon, *Jeonghun.

Oh boy… TOB. The biggest shitshow the Gioverse has ever seen. The group that makes LOOPiN look like a bunch of hippies.

Right out of the gate, hey, it’s Idolmaker’s Kim Hosung! Also known as my most tragic character to date, and everything involving them is obligatory living in my mind rent free. They were one of the many, many people rigged to make it into the final 13, which was completely chosen by executives before the show even started – Spring Teens was pretty much a test conducted by many companies on just how much manipulation they could get away with. Spoiler alert: a lot, but not all of it. TOB only managed to operate for a year and some weeks because a newspaper was threatening to start an investigation on their shady voting numbers, and not even a powerhouse like MBN - whom has TIES WITH THE GOVERMENT! - could contain it any longer.

Their shit is extremely dense and complicated to explain (13 people rigged in with their own personal agendas like, woah), but the most relevant of all: final guy Yoo Geon got very close with not final guy Jeonghun backstage, and as soon as he learned about all of Jeonghun’s trials and tribulations and catastrophic stakes if he didn’t make it as an Idol immediatly, this man crumbled in guilt (to put things into perspective he was a dozen even worse than J.J, fully disinterested in music and only there to quickstart his acting career) and told Jeonghun everything about the set final members, mind you, ON THE SPRING TEENS FINALE SET, RIGHT AS THE CAMERAS WERE ABOUT TO ROLL! Jeonghun, already a pile of nerves from the whole situation, didn’t take that well at all, obviously – he tried to fist fight an executive about it and got scouted out of the studio by security, causing enough of a commotion to get the live finale postponed by two weeks. It was horrible. 

As you might already know if you were around to catch Idolmaker!!! Hosung – before he was forced by his INSANE, ACTUALLY PSYCHOPATHIC older brother and manager Hojin to enlist in the military – tracked Jeonghun down and convinced him to sign with Furta Media/MBN and join IDMK’s third generation with him, as he was given enough power to handpick any trainees he wanted for that unit (at a big, big cost, Hosung nooooooo). That could be seen as a hard decision for someone to make, with the whole ‘if you can’t fight them, will you really go down low enough and join them?’, but not to Jeonghun: he was all about being rigged to make it now that he knew from experience that that’s how the game was played. He and Hosung went on to become best friends on the long run, actually inseparable, making ⅔’s of IDMK’s ‘blood pack siblings’, a.k.a SungBinHun (Hosung, Dabin and Jeonghun).

Which – unrelated now but in a couple lines you will see why – brings us to Hype, which my god, does this guy fucking SUCKS at a Kwon Dongwook level. But as I said on my talk blog quite a lot before, I still feel like I’m not done at all with IDMK, specially SungBinHun, and Parit is unfortunately a key person to get a lot of insight into my forever girl Dabin. But what you must know is: he’s a big actor now at a worldwide level (not exclusively BLs but a lot of BLs, which given his raging homophobia is kind of like, morbidly hilarious), he’s to this day pissed he couldn’t impregnate the biggest fansign he ever had because she’s a lesbian, he still thinks that Hosung ‘stole her’ from him when they only showed her who her Idol truly was (A MAJOR ASSHOLE!!!!), and that girl, my good folks, is Dabin.

[misfitwashere]

How to hope in a near-hopeless time?

Thoughts on our horrendous loss two weeks ago

ROBERT REICH

NOV 19

Friends,

It’s been just two weeks, but it feels like an eternity. 

It feels like an eternity because of the immensity of the loss — not just the loss of the election but the seeming loss of America. Not just America, but the apparent loss of the world as we knew it. 

In reality, we lost by a relatively small number of votes, but in our winner-take-all system of government, that doesn’t much matter. We lost. 

Two weeks in, and the magnitude of the loss may be hitting you differently than it did on the night of November 5. 

It has been coming to me in the early morning, just as dawn is breaking and I’m starting to awaken. It has been coming to me in the form of dread. 

What exactly do I dread? Trump, and all the anger he has exploited. Trump, and all the people he has manipulated. Trump, and all the power he will have to do atrocious things. Trump, and all the dreadful people he is surrounding himself with or is seeking to appoint. Trump, and his use of the military on hardworking people in my community. 

Some of you probably awaken as I do. 

Alternatively, some of you are using coping mechanisms — not reading the paper or listening to the news, or giving up on politics, or relying on music or poetry or the beauty of nature to blot out what is occurring. 

I get it. 

However you might be coping with the loss and the shock, it’s very important that you know what they’re trying to do.

What they want most is to take away our hope. 

If they can make us hopeless, they win everything. If they can abscond with our hope, we will stop fighting for a more just society, stop defending those who are most vulnerable to them, stop protecting what’s left of our democracy.

If they can destroy our hope, we won’t join together to try to stop them. They will win everything. They will get it all. 

I understand if at this point, two weeks after a grievous election, you feel depressed. Dispossessed. Empty. Angry. 

I understand if you feel the grief of losing what should never have been lost.

I understand if you feel the gross, mind-numbing unfairness of a system that rewards horrendous lies backed by big money. 

I share all these feelings. 

Some of you ask: Even if I had a shred of hopeful energy remaining inside me, what would I do? Trump has it all — the entire executive branch of government, which he wants run by dangerous people who will do whatever he wants. He has both chambers of Congress. He’s got an election-denying Republican Party purged of people with integrity. He’s got a pliable Supreme Court. 

Given all this, many of you feel powerless. You ask: As a practical matter, what can I do? 

First and perhaps most importantly, connect and reconnect with people who share our values — who want a decent society, who reject bigotry, who treat people equally and respectfully, who seek social justice, and who keep in mind the common good. All of us need the support and reassurance that come with connection to these kindred souls. 

Don’t be an election-only activist. Practice your activism. Meet regularly, in person or online. Hear each other’s stories. Listen to the grieving of others. Know you’re not alone in this.

Second, sketch a plan for your activism. You don’t need to put it into effect right away, but have it ready. Work with others to organize and mobilize. 

Maybe it involves protecting people in your community who are most vulnerable to Trump’s dragnet. Or people who are (or will be) on Trump’s enemies list. 

Or women and girls of childbearing age who will need help, advice, encouragement, and resources if they’re to exercise their rights over their own bodies. 

Maybe it involves establishing new and more reliable sources of news and analysis, and sharing those sources with others. 

Maybe it involves boycotting X, or companies that advertise on X or on Fox News. Or other products and services generated by billionaires who supported Trump. 

Or cutting back on buying things you don’t need and putting your money into the work of groups advancing the common good. 

And joining such groups. Starting chapters in your community. Getting others involved. 

Third, pace yourself. Don’t try to do it all immediately. The fight we’re engaged in will not be won anytime soon. There are likely to be elections next November in your community and state. The next major federal engagement will be the midterm elections of 2026. 

Don’t expect clear and decisive victories. We are up against forces that use bigotry and lies to entrench their power. It will take time, patience, and tenacity to change course. 

Fourth, avoid the blame game. There’s nothing to be gained by picking on Biden or on Harris or on Democrats in general or on this or that identity group. 

But an accurate explanation for what has occurred can be a precursor to making necessary changes. 

An explanation is not a justification. To my mind, there is no moral justification for electing Trump, although I think I understand why people voted for him. 

At the most basic level, they voted for him because for many decades they have not benefited from the fruits of their hard work. The median wage of the bottom 90 percent buys less today than it did 40 years ago. For decades, most of the gains have gone to the top. 

Grotesque inequalities of income, wealth, opportunity, and power have caused most Americans to feel angry, surly, cynical, and ready to take a wrecking ball to the whole system. 

But Trump’s wrecking ball will only hurt most Americans and further enrich oligarchs like himself. We must help people understand this. 

Fifth, please be kind to yourself. You are not alone, and you’re not crazy. You will have bad days. 

Many of us are still in shock. Many are experiencing a kind of trauma. Sometimes these sorts of shocks and traumas dredge up shocks and traumas from our past. 

Get plenty of rest. Read a good novel. Watch a good streaming series. Find things to laugh at — and share laughter with others. 

Most of all — even if you don’t feel it now at all — don’t lose hope.

Find green shoots of hope wherever you can. 

Some people, some communities, and even some states, continue to do great things. Celebrate them. 

Others are doing small but important things. Thank them. 

Others are doing courageous things. Appreciate them. 

Keep hope strong. Keep hope alive. Don’t let them take it away. 

We are together in this. 

[truculentbitch]

crit doesn't seem to want to talk about this which I understand because it's related to politics and emotions get involved and everything can get heated. it's a genuine question that I'm curious what your thoughts or about this.

If dream and sapnap didn't vote would that change your view on them? I know that people can choose to vote or choose not to vote, but given how huge this election was and human rights can be taken away, I think people shouldn't have sat out on this. (I'm not American so it's not like I could've done anything but this affects everyone else too)

it wouldn't change my personal opinion of them, no. i think i have a pretty realistic view of who they are as ppl and the possibility of them not voting certainly fits within that. i don't think that either of them are callous and uncaring of the issues surrounding this election but i think neither are particularly politically engaged, a privilege of their positions as rich, cis, white men. i would say that dream tends to be more vocal about certain issues but it hard to judge how much rl commitment that leads to.

i'm also not american so my understanding is non-organic but disengagement with the political process is a common problem everywhere, particularly with younger voters. in a red state like florida, it would be very easy to feel like yr vote doesn't actually matter. there are ways in which the system has been deliberately broken to disenfranchise voters and manipulate the power a single vote has. things like that break the trust that ppl have in the process and lead to disengagement. small things like the position and number of polling stations or the difficulties in postal voting or absentee voting or the ease of registering to vote or the ease of having the right i.d to vote make a big difference to how likely it is that an individual votes. (that's what happens when you don't have mandatory voting so the govt has no requirement to provide voting processes fairly to all populations)

i'm not saying that those examples specifically apply to dteam, that's a more general comment on why ppl often don't vote. political disengagement is often only blamed on the voter when politicians and the system should shoulder the majority of the blame for it. so regardless of the person, i think it's better to focus on that rather than individuals.

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

“How could so many uneducated people vote for trump?!” Your liberal arts degree do not substitute life experience

Also we have the internet, I only leaned about that most transatlantic slaves were secondhand bought from other slaves via me lurking through Siryouarebeingmocked blog when I was 13

(I know you and I have different opinions on certain media Mr syamb. But you’re blog help me realize I’m wasn’t going batshit crazy with the racial mess in my community!)

Than there the Dahomey…I’m sorry but I should have learned about those fucks when I was 7 since I’m a direct DESCENDANT of their Yoruba victims

But academia, I mean I have two college educated black parents….but academia especially like Yale and Harvard also seem upper middle class and higher with the rate lucky working class person who got a scholarship to go to those places

Also people complained about a lot of zoomers males who are “uneducated” going voting…well as we all know academia alienated the living shit out of white male zoomers, while also screwing over a lot of Asian ones as well.

And given the insanity of student debt…do you guys really think zoomers would want to get useless degrees and end up like their gen x and millennials counterparts with that stuff?

Sorry for it being disjointed…but I think people need understanding learning is way different imitating what college taught you

“How could so many uneducated people vote for trump?!” Your liberal arts degree do not substitute life experience Also we have the internet, I only leaned about that most transatlantic slaves were secondhand bought from other slaves via me lurking through Siryouarebeingmocked blog when I was 13

I have to wonder what the level of shock these people would experience when they see how many uneducated people there are on both sides of the line.

These are also the same people that look down on sanitation workers and folks in the trades.

Sorry but you PhD in comparative religion isn't going to do you any good when the pipes in the wall burst, you're going to need a plumber, who would generally be looked down on as "uneducated" because of a lack of a degree, they don't show up on those fancy pants maps the manipulators use to stroke their egos.

But oh boy they are educated, problem is we've got folks that don't value that education for some reason. Which is kinda dumb when you get to that point where you only have the one working outlet because you can't find an electrician or your AC breaks and you don't know how to fix it.

Than there the Dahomey…I’m sorry but I should have learned about those fucks when I was 7 since I’m a direct DESCENDANT of their Yoruba victims But academia, I mean I have two college educated black parents….but academia especially like Yale and Harvard also seem upper middle class and higher with the rate lucky working class person who got a scholarship to go to those places

Bit heavy when you're seven, but ya including the basics like there were African kingdoms that made their wealth by selling their fellow human beings and they were doing that long before the Europeans started showing up in large numbers too.

Academia is just a joke anyhow, in lots of ways at least, got that one lady who did the 1619 project out here proving that you can write the most hateful, racist, and ignorant nonsense wrapped up in in big long words and people will eat it up as genius progressive thinking.

Also people complained about a lot of zoomers males who are “uneducated” going voting…well as we all know academia alienated the living shit out of white male zoomers, while also screwing over a lot of Asian ones as well.

I'm still waiting for Native Americans to get removed from the acronym and finally have it just be BPOC like I believe folks wanted years back.

And given the insanity of student debt…do you guys really think zoomers would want to get useless degrees and end up like their gen x and millennials counterparts with that stuff?

Not the smart ones, might have a weird thing where we finally have enough people working trades and not enough in professional positions.

Either that or people will still go into debt to get some kind of degree that serves no purpose in the real world.

Sorry for it being disjointed…but I think people need understanding learning is way different imitating what college taught you

All kinds of education, the people that insult others would do well to remember that.

Used to be a conversation about street smarts vs book smarts and the importance of the two, somewhere along the line people started to forget the importance of street smarts.

and disjointed is just fine, that's how my brain works anyhow so disjointed is normal

[yourreddancer]

ROBERT REICH

ROBERT REICH

Friends,

It’s been just two weeks, but it feels like an eternity.

It feels like an eternity because of the immensity of the loss — not just the loss of the election but the seeming loss of America. Not just America, but the apparent loss of the world as we knew it.

In reality, we lost by a relatively small number of votes, but in our winner-take-all system of government, that doesn’t much matter. We lost.

Two weeks in, and the magnitude of the loss may be hitting you differently than it did on the night of November 5.

It has been coming to me in the early morning, just as dawn is breaking and I’m starting to awaken. It has been coming to me in the form of dread.

What exactly do I dread? Trump, and all the anger he has exploited. Trump, and all the people he has manipulated. Trump, and all the power he will have to do atrocious things. Trump, and all the dreadful people he is surrounding himself with or is seeking to appoint. Trump, and his use of the military on hardworking people in my community.

Some of you probably awaken as I do.

Alternatively, some of you are using coping mechanisms — not reading the paper or listening to the news, or giving up on politics, or relying on music or poetry or the beauty of nature to blot out what is occurring.

I get it.

However you might be coping with the loss and the shock, it’s very important that you know what they’re trying to do.

What they want most is to take away our hope.

If they can make us hopeless, they win everything. If they can abscond with our hope, we will stop fighting for a more just society, stop defending those who are most vulnerable to them, stop protecting what’s left of our democracy.

If they can destroy our hope, we won’t join together to try to stop them. They will win everything. They will get it all.

I understand if at this point, two weeks after a grievous election, you feel depressed. Dispossessed. Empty. Angry.

I understand if you feel the grief of losing what should never have been lost.

I understand if you feel the gross, mind-numbing unfairness of a system that rewards horrendous lies backed by big money.

I share all these feelings.

Some of you ask: Even if I had a shred of hopeful energy remaining inside me, what would I do? Trump has it all — the entire executive branch of government, which he wants run by dangerous people who will do whatever he wants. He has both chambers of Congress. He’s got an election-denying Republican Party purged of people with integrity. He’s got a pliable Supreme Court.

Given all this, many of you feel powerless. You ask: As a practical matter, what can I do?

First and perhaps most importantly, connect and reconnect with people who share our values — who want a decent society, who reject bigotry, who treat people equally and respectfully, who seek social justice, and who keep in mind the common good. All of us need the support and reassurance that come with connection to these kindred souls.

Don’t be an election-only activist. Practice your activism. Meet regularly, in person or online. Hear each other’s stories. Listen to the grieving of others. Know you’re not alone in this.

Second, sketch a plan for your activism. You don’t need to put it into effect right away, but have it ready. Work with others to organize and mobilize.

Maybe it involves protecting people in your community who are most vulnerable to Trump’s dragnet. Or people who are (or will be) on Trump’s enemies list.

Or women and girls of childbearing age who will need help, advice, encouragement, and resources if they’re to exercise their rights over their own bodies.

Maybe it involves establishing new and more reliable sources of news and analysis, and sharing those sources with others.

Maybe it involves boycotting X, or companies that advertise on X or on Fox News. Or other products and services generated by billionaires who supported Trump.

Or cutting back on buying things you don’t need and putting your money into the work of groups advancing the common good.

And joining such groups. Starting chapters in your community. Getting others involved.

Third, pace yourself. Don’t try to do it all immediately. The fight we’re engaged in will not be won anytime soon. There are likely to be elections next November in your community and state. The next major federal engagement will be the midterm elections of 2026.

Don’t expect clear and decisive victories. We are up against forces that use bigotry and lies to entrench their power. It will take time, patience, and tenacity to change course.

Fourth, avoid the blame game. There’s nothing to be gained by picking on Biden or on Harris or on Democrats in general or on this or that identity group.

But an accurate explanation for what has occurred can be a precursor to making necessary changes.

An explanation is not a justification. To my mind, there is no moral justification for electing Trump, although I think I understand why people voted for him.

At the most basic level, they voted for him because for many decades they have not benefited from the fruits of their hard work. The median wage of the bottom 90 percent buys less today than it did 40 years ago. For decades, most of the gains have gone to the top.

Grotesque inequalities of income, wealth, opportunity, and power have caused most Americans to feel angry, surly, cynical, and ready to take a wrecking ball to the whole system.

But Trump’s wrecking ball will only hurt most Americans and further enrich oligarchs like himself. We must help people understand this.

Fifth, please be kind to yourself. You are not alone, and you’re not crazy. You will have bad days.

Many of us are still in shock. Many are experiencing a kind of trauma. Sometimes these sorts of shocks and traumas dredge up shocks and traumas from our past.

Get plenty of rest. Read a good novel. Watch a good streaming series. Find things to laugh at — and share laughter with others.

Most of all — even if you don’t feel it now at all — don’t lose hope.

Find green shoots of hope wherever you can.

Some people, some communities, and even some states, continue to do great things. Celebrate them.

Others are doing small but important things. Thank them.

Others are doing courageous things. Appreciate them.

Keep hope strong. Keep hope alive. Don’t let them take it away.

We are together in this.