#voice activated

[grippysocks-grippybox]

Accents are so attractive omfggggg it makes the dirty disgusting things you wanna do to me sound soooo

☁️dreamy☁️

[setokaibapetty]

Monday's Muse: Writing Prompt

"Well, if that's what he thinks, you can tell him to go fuck himself."

Sending "Go fuck yourself" to -

"Wait! Siri, stop! Do not send that message."

[gudamor]

[natscato]

Ugh yes I love this so so much ❤️

The little insecurities that gnaw at her until they all come out and how he shows her that she couldn't be more wrong...and the ending couldn't have been any more heartfelt 🥰

The whole series has been a treat, and I'm glad to have read it

Exclusively Yours

(x)

Summary: Y/N gets a visit from the green-eyed monster when she sees someone coming on to her green-eyed boyfriend.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Unprotected sex, PinV. Fingering, Oral (f receiving) slight possibility of public sex. Overstimulation. Thigh riding. Angry!Jensen. Slightly insecure!reader. Fluffy!sweet!Jensen. Hints of Dom!Jensen

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Y/N

Word Count: 3K+

A/N: So, I’ve decided to do all 30 of these writing prompts. I may miss a day here and there, but I’m going to try to do one a day, and I will be completing all 30 no matter what.  They won’t always be in order.  This fic will be for the prompt: Write about a concert.

I will be putting together a Masterlist for all 30 prompts and adding it to my main Masterlist.

A/N 2: For someone who hadn't written a RPF in my life, all this hot af Jensen content lately is sure smashing down that wall. Cause this is now the 4th entry in this little Jensen x Reader saga. The first three are:

1- The Art of Creating Sex Hair Sexy Hair

2 - Who's Blushing Now?

3 - Like Waves in the Ocean

You don’t have to have read any of the other parts, to read this one, but it might be more enjoyable.  Plus who doesn’t love more Jensen smut! 🤤

This will be my final entry in this little Jensen Reader saga. I expect to continue writing Jensen RPF now that I've enjoyed it so much. But this one shot is the last in this little series of Jensen x Reader one shots. 😊

As always, of course this story is about a Jensen from a different part of the multiverse, who is single.  This is a complete and utter work of fiction. 😊

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @firefly-graphics

(x)

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel

Like I've been tied to the whippin' post

Tied to the whippin' post, tied to the whippin' post

Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'

As Jensen growled out the last line of the chorus, in his deep, gravelly, whine, you felt a shudder run through you.

Jesus Christ he was hot on that stage!

You looked out at all the screaming fans watching him on stage, some of them seeming as though they might pass out at any minute, and you thought to yourself:

Yeah, same folks, same.

There was something absolutely magnetic about Jensen when he was on stage singing. Even offstage, of course, he always had this ability to draw people in and make them punch drunk while they stared at him. But it was like it was amplified when he was on stage; amplified mic, amplified guitars, amplified Jensen charisma.

His voice was gorgeous, which certainly helped. It had such an incredible range going from soft folk ballads, to country, to rock, to this badass blues, southern rock classic that had all the panties dropping as he sang about being tied to a whipping post.

I mean, come on! you thought to yourself, there's only so much hot as fuck imagery a person can take before we're just a pool of hormones!

As Whipping Post ended, all of the cast came out on stage to sing the final song of the night with Rob and the rest of the band. Everyone was having a blast on stage and the audience was absolutely thrilled to see it. You were thrilled to see it.

This evening had been so much fun! The con was taking place in New Jersey that weekend, and you'd been on a job in New York. So Jensen had invited you to come to the Saturday night concert since it was going to be your only chance to see each other for another week and a half. Naturally you'd jumped at the chance.

You hated that you often had to go such long stretches away from each other. You knew it was just the reality of your lives, both of you travelling so much for work. But it didn't make it any easier to be away from him for so long, sometimes weeks at a time. You missed him from the moment you separated until you were back in his arms.

And lately... lately you'd started to worry. The week before he'd had to cancel a couple Skype calls with you, work stuff he said, and you wanted to believe him. You did believe him.

But your insecurities did not, they kept screaming at you that he was getting bored. That going so long, sometimes weeks at a time, without sex was too much to ask of someone like Jensen. He could literally have women at his beck and call, and you expected him to wait around for your unremarkable ass?

It just seemed hard to fathom, and those insecurities bred fear, fear that one day soon he was going to tell you it just wasn't worth it and he was going to say goodbye. Your fear told you regularly that you should get ready for him to end things.

You did your best to shove those thoughts to the side. Unfortunately, sometimes that was easier said than done.

Finally the song ended and everyone screamed and cheered and the cast waved their goodbyes and shouted their thanks. You saw Jensen leave with the pack through the back of the curtain and waited for him to come find you in the wings.

Minutes later he came strolling around the corner, his smile wide as he spotted you. You clapped enthusiastically for him.

"Jensen, that was absolutely amazing!" You praised.

His smile turned shy and you marveled at the many facets of this man you loved.

"Yeah, the band was awesome." He said humbly and you shook your head, looping your arms around his neck. You ran your fingers through the sweat-dampened hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his lips towards you.

"Yes, the band was great, but I was talking about you, Mr. Ackles." You brushed your lips across his. "You...were...wonderful." You punctuated each word with a kiss, teasing him.

"Mmm..." he moaned as you pulled back. "I gotta go change before we head out." His eyes grew dark. "Wanna come join me?"

You knew he was thinking of the last time the two of you were in a change room together, the very first time you'd hooked up, after you'd done his hair for that EW photoshoot. Jensen had promised that if you came to meet him in his change room he'd make sure you didn't regret it.

And you certainly hadn't.

Now, as though he couldn't help himself, he gripped your head in his two hands and licked your lips open, plunging his tongue inside. As it always did, his kiss made you lose any sense of your surroundings and you fisted your hands in his hair and held him tight to your mouth. You couldn't catch your breath, but you didn't care.

His hands roamed down your back to cup your ass cheeks and press you against the hard on you could feel forming under his jeans.

"Oops, hey sorry!"

Jensen pulled away from your mouth with a sucking noise that sounded obscene. Clearing his throat and licking lips he looked towards the voice that had interrupted.

It was Rob and he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry to interrupt, I was just wondering if you guys were coming. We're headed over to Stadler's Pub for drinks."

Jensen looked down at you and you nodded, blushing. He turned back to Rob. "Yeah, man. We'll be there in about a half hour."

Rob gave a thumbs up and took off, still grinning.

Jensen sighed deeply. "I guess I should actually go change for real." He looked regretfully at your lips before pecking them briefly and then giving your ass a pat.

"I'll be back in about ten minutes."

You nodded and he sauntered away, moving quickly on his long bow-legs.

Twenty minutes later you began to wonder where he was and then finally decided to go hurry him up, vowing not to get distracted from the task at hand, even if he was only half dressed.

As you wandered through the slightly labyrinthine maze of thick black curtains and alcoves backstage, you could suddenly hear Jensen's deep, rich voice and you followed the sound.

You couldn't make out his words, but as you walked around another corner, you stopped abruptly as you heard a fairly high-pitched giggle.

You crept up a little closer, realizing the voices were coming from just the other side of the curtain in front of you.

"Anyway, I'm sorry I've just rambled on and on, but I just had to tell you how incredible you were tonight." The female voice complimented him.

"Well, thanks very much. Glad you enjoyed yourself." Jensen replied.

You peeked around the side of the curtain to see them standing not far from you; they were facing each other and as you watched, the woman took a step closer to him.

Jensen didn't step away.

He'd clearly already been to his dressing room and back; he must have showered quickly because his hair was still wet. He wore a new pair of black jeans and a thin, soft, cream-colored sweater. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and the woman standing so close to him obviously agreed because she smiled and batted her eyelashes up at him.

You felt the sharp bitter tang of jealousy as the woman giggled again.

"I swear, you should have seen how many women you had swooning over you out in that audience!"

Jensen ducked his head and smiled slightly. "It was a good show, everyone brought their A game."

You told yourself to calm down, that it was just a fan gushing over him, as they tended to, and with good reason. Jensen was just being gracious, it meant nothing. But your brain was short-circuiting a little and you blamed that fact for what followed.

The woman got incredibly close and put her hand on Jensen's arm and you felt like the blood vessels might be popping in your head. When she spoke, it just got worse.

"So, I don't know what you've got planned, but my hotel is really nearby, The Marriott just down the street? I'm in Room 1103 if you feel like dropping by."

"Oh, uh..."

You popped out from behind the curtain like an angry magician's assistant, and stormed forward.

"He already has plans, thanks." You reached Jensen's side and latched onto his arm.

Jensen looked a little surprised, but you were too busy shooting daggers at the woman in front of you to pay much attention.

"Y/N, hey!" He pointed toward the other woman. "Y/N this is Heather. Heather, this is my girlfriend, Y/N."

He put an emphasis on the word girlfriend and Heather immediately backed up a few steps.

"Oh wow! Hi." She said looking at you. "I...sorry, I didn't know." She said, and with one more long, wistful, lustful look at Jensen, she sighed.

"Okay, so have a good night." She said and turned away.

Jensen gave a small wave. "Take care." He called to her and then shook his head.

You struggled to make your voice sound normal. "What the hell was that?"

Jensen glanced at you and then away, his smile slightly embarrassed. "Uh...that was me getting hit on."

"Hit on?" You questioned aggressively, "You mean, propositioned!"

Jensen shrugged, not arguing the point. For some reason his nonchalance made you angrier.

"So, what were you going to say?"

That caught his attention and he turned to look at you properly. "What?"

"If I hadn't popped up to shut things down what would you have said to her?"

Jensen's smile disappeared completely and he frowned at you.

"Are you...serious?"

You shrugged still trying to pretend indifference. "Hey, look I'm just curious. I mean stuff like this must happen all the time to you, and I'm certainly not always around to jump out and stop it, so what do you say?"

Jensen stared at you hard for a minute before he spoke. "I say, I'm flattered, thanks, but I have a girlfriend."

"Oh, you're flattered?"

Jensen threw his hands up. "Well Jesus, Y/N, what do you want me to say? Go fuck yourself?"

He shook his head. "What is this all about? Where is this coming from?"

You shrugged. "It's not coming from anywhere. I told you, I was just curious. Cause...I mean...you know, we never really said we were exclusive, so if you wanted to -"

Jensen cut you off. "I'm sorry, what? We're not exclusive? Really?"

He glared at you for a minute and your mind was screaming at you to apologize and just tell him you were being an idiot. But the scared, jealous beast in your chest wouldn't shut up.

"I mean, not officially."

Jensen's jaw was clenched as his eyes bore into you. "So, saying 'I love you' to each other? That wasn't being exclusive?" Before you could answer that question, he was angrily asking another.

"What are you saying here, Y/N? Is this...are you trying to tell me you wanna fuck other guys?"

You scowled at him. "No." Your tone said that he was being ridiculous. "Look, let's just drop it, okay? Let's just go meet everyone at the bar."

Jensen stared at you for a full thirty seconds without speaking; his bright green eyes were like chips of ice. Finally, he responded.

"I'm not really in the mood to celebrate now. I'm gonna go back to the hotel. Are you coming?"

You opened your mouth to argue, but his clenched jaw and hard expression made you decide to just keep keep quiet.

"Fine." You said with a shrug.

Jensen texted Rob to say you weren't coming and then ordered an Uber. You realized that based on what he'd seen earlier, Rob probably thought you guys were cancelling for a much more enjoyable reason. But the ride back to the hotel was silent and charged with unspoken emotions.

When you got back to the suite Jensen was staying in, he tossed his key card on the table beside the door and immediately left for the bedroom.

His continued silence was beginning to wear on your patience, and it was making you start to panic internally.

Fuck, this is it! This is the moment he realizes I'm not worth all of this.

You slowly followed him into the bedroom and stood in the doorway. He was sitting on the side of the bed staring out the floor to ceiling doors that led to a private balcony off the massive King suite.

"So are you just gonna keep giving me the silent treatment, because I dared to question you about the groupies that flock around you?"

Jensen looked over at you angrily, before he stared down at the floor for a minute and then stood up, kicking off his shoes and grabbing his sweater and pulling it over his head. He tossed it over the chair that sat in the corner and turned away from you.

Your stomach muscles clenched as they always did when you were faced with his gorgeous, tanned, torso. His back was always so exceptionally beautiful. So watching it ripple, the muscles moving fluidly under his lightly freckled skin, was putting you in the awkward position of being angry and horny at the same time.

"Jensen, I asked you a question, for fucks sake!" You shouted at him and he continued to ignore you, just taking off his watch and the couple bracelets he was wearing and tossing them onto the night stand.

Frustrated in more ways than one, you stomped over to him and tried to turn him to face you, without much success.

Finally he spun around and towered over you. "Jesus Christ, Y/N, I don't want to fucking talk about this, I thought I was making that clear."

"Yeah, you mean you don't want to talk about it because you're AFRAID to talk about it!" You shouted up at him. "You don't wanna slip up and tell me something that you meant to keep to yourself."

His scowl was horribly intimidating when it was fixed so intensely on you. His voice was hard and raised again as he responded.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, Y/N? Huh? Just what, EXACTLY, are you accusing me of?"

"I'm not accusing you, Jesus!" You yelled. "All I'm saying is that I wouldn't be surprised if...if sometimes you were...you know, tempted...to sleep with one of the scores of women that throw themselves at you."

He was incredulous as he stared down at you. "Do you even fucking know me? I mean who the fuck do you think I am?"

"I know exactly who you are!" You screamed in frustration and fear. "You're Jensen Ackles, hottest man on the planet, the guy who makes all the panties wet -"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"- the guy who has literally any woman he wants just waiting to come running at the crook of his finger, all of them more than willing to fuck you in a heartbeat."

You were breathing roughly and fighting back tears as all your insecurities and fears were bubbling up as you continued volume still high.

"Seriously, you have every woman in the world throwing themselves at you, and I'm gone half the time. It must be hard to just...abstain. I mean, it's not exactly most guys' forte - turning down hot, available women."

You knew you were pushing him, pissing him off completely. But there was a small, nasty voice in the back of your head saying it was better to lose him now than later.

He stalked towards you and you backed up so he wouldn't bowl you over. "Is that really what you think? Seriously? That I can't keep it my fucking pants, I'm too much of a fucking horndog to go a couple weeks without sex?"

He stepped closer to you and his voice dipped lower, though it was still firm and loud.

"Nevermind that I'm skyping you three or four times a week, so I can jack off watching you fuck yourself and listening to you moan and come. That's not enough for me to stay faithful, I guess!" He threw his hands up in frustration. "Gotta get that pussy 24/7 or I'm not happy!"

You chewed on your lip and your voice was small and worried when you spoke again.

"But you cancelled last week. And you wouldn't necessarily be being unfaithful. Like I said, we never really confirmed we were exclusive."

Jensen closed his eyes and you saw the muscle jump in his jaw. When he opened them again, they were still angry, but a different kind of heat was pulsing there too.

"Is this what all this shit has been about? I told you, they switched our filming schedule because a location had to change; and that fucked up my entire week."

You nodded, acknowledging that you'd heard him the first time he told you.

He shook his head. "And as for exclusivity?" He pushed you backwards until you banged up against the glass balcony doors.

He grabbed your face in his big hand, wrapping it under your chin and around your jaw. "You are exclusively mine."

Before you could react he ripped open your grey button down, making you gasp loudly as he palmed your breasts through your mostly see-through bra.

"Mine." He growled as he captured your silk clad nipple in his mouth.

"Jensen...I...I think, I...think we should..."

You broke off with a whine as he shoved a hand up your skirt to rub along the crotch of your drenched panties.

"No." He said, in a voice that demanded obedience. "No more thinking from you. I'm gonna fuck the overthinking right outta your god damn body."

He pulled your ruined panties down your body, leaving them to pool around your ankles. "And I'm gonna make sure you know beyond a doubt that this fucking body," he shoved two fingers into you and you cried out and clenched around them, "this pussy is the only one I'm interested in."

He pulled his fingers out of you and took off your skirt. Then he removed your bra so that you were completely naked, pressed up against the cool, clear balcony doors.

It occurred to you that maybe you should move away from the glass doors. The suite was on the 25th floor, but they had drones now that could -

But then, true to his word, Jensen pulled the worrisome thoughts right out of your head by dropping to his knees and swirling his tongue in your belly button.

Your hands slid into his hair for balance, as he grabbed the back of your thigh and tossed your left leg over his shoulder.

He pressed his lips gently against your sex, kissing it softly. He began kitten licking at your clit and you started squirming, trying to push down harder against his mouth. But he wouldn't let you, his strong fingers pushed into your fleshy hips and held you in place, so he could give you the pleasure you were craving, on his terms.

Finally, after licking and swirling his tongue around your clit for what felt like a torturosly long time, Jensen pulled your teased, and now highly sensitive little bundle of nerves, into his mouth and sucked hard. Your first orgasm of the night, shocked you with its speed and intensity.

You tugged roughly on Jensen's hair as you cried out and he grunted at the pain. As your climax began to ebb slightly, he set to work again, his fingers curling up into you, pressing against your g-spot over and over and easily ripping another harsh and surprising orgasm out of you.

Your head was spinning from two such intense orgasms one on top of the other like that. But Jensen wasn't letting up.

He slid a third finger into you before pushing his tongue in too. Your legs were trembling as he pumped in and out of your wet channel. Occasionally he pulled his tongue out to flick against your hard clit.

After the third time you came on his tongue, your legs gave out but, Jensen just held you pinned against the glass as he finished sucking up every drop of you.

Finally he let your leg drop off his shoulder and scooped you up. You wrapped your arms around his neck and relished the feel of his bare chest beneath your hands as you ran your fingers up and down. He moved to sit on the chair in the corner throwing his sweater off of it and onto the ground.

He sat you up in his lap and settled so you were straddled over his left, denim covered leg.

"Jensen..." You began, but he kissed you silent.

As he pulled out of the kiss, he flexed his thigh muscle, lifting it to press deliciously against your dripping cunt.

You moaned deeply and grabbed onto his wide shoulders for balance.

"Do it, baby. Fuck yourself on me, use my thigh to get off." He picked you up to slam you against his thick hard muscles once again.

"I can't, Jensen," you panted, "I don't have the strength."

"Sure you can." He encouraged.

He moved his thumb down to very gently, very slowly circle your clit, giving you just enough friction that it left you chasing more. You threw your head back and then pounded yourself down on his thigh, nails pressing into his skin where you gripped his shoulders.

"Thatta girl!" He said through gritted teeth as your tits bounced and swayed every time you ground against him.

Your clit was burning from the rough contact with the denim, but you couldn't stop bouncing on him, rolling your hips back and forth, desperately chasing the high that was just inches away.

You moaned pathetically and leaned forward to suck on his bottom lip before you placed your forehead on his, hips still rolling against him.

"Please, Jensen!" You whined again."Please." You bounced against him one last time before he took pity on you and with perfect precision and pressure he circled two fingers on your clit only a handful of times before he broke you again.

You slammed up and down on his rock hard thigh as you came, drenching his jeans with your slick.

When you finally fell onto his chest, completely exhausted, Jensen picked you up again, and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

When he reached the bed he tossed you onto it.

"Hands and knees." He ordered in a voice that got you very close to your fifth orgasm of the night.

You did as he told you, crawling on hands and knees to the middle of the bed. You heard the jingle of his belt as he took off his wrecked jeans and the snap of his elastic waistband as he pulled down his boxer briefs.

Then you felt the bed dip as he came up behind you. He pushed a hand between your shoulder blades. "Pull that pillow over to you and lay down on it."

Again you followed his instructions quickly, already pushing back towards him, desperate to be fucked.

He petted his big hand down the length of your back, gripping your ass in one hand as he lined himself up at your entrance with the other.

He sank into you painfully slowly, holding your hips in check to stop you slamming back onto him.

He rolled his body against you, easing in and out of you at an incredibly slow pace.

You whimpered in need, your exhausted body desperate for him to take you over the edge one more time. But he wouldn't be hurried.

He leaned over you, covering you completely. He entwined his fingers with yours where they hugged the pillow, and spoke sure and strong into your ear.

"You are mine, darlin'" He said, his soft Texan drawl seeping out as it often did when he was hot and hard inside you, or when he was all blissed out from you sucking his cock.

"Tell me I'm yours." He demanded as he snapped his hips forward and drove deeper.

"Mine!" You shouted out in pleasure as you came again, walls clenching tight around him.

"Exclusively yours." He groaned against your skin as his hips pounded against you a half dozen more times before he shouted out his release and fell to the side with his arms wrapped tightly around you.

***

Many hours and many more orgasms later, you were sitting in the warm jacuzzi tub the suite offered in its palatial bathroom. Jensen sat between your legs and you had them wrapped around his trim waist.

He leaned his head back against your shoulder and the position gave you ample opportunity to run your hands and lips across his skin, which you took shameless advantage of.

You ran the washcloth over his broad chest and then brought it up to drizzle water over his thick, round shoulder, before leaning down to sip at the droplets of water that sat on his skin.

He moaned low and happy, a deep, contented rumble in his chest.

You felt it in your core, but you felt it tug at your heart too. You loved to see him like this, and you were so sorry that you'd stressed him out earlier.

You brushed his wet hair back off his forehead and kissed him there. His forest green eyes fluttered open and he smiled slowly, his eyes smiling too.

Your smile was apologetic. "I'm sorry." You opened your mouth to continue and he pulled you down for a wet kiss. When you pulled away you were panting softly and you pressed your lips against his temple.

His voice was gravelly when he spoke. "You said you love me. Do you?"

You frowned. "What kind of question is that? Of course I do!"

"Why?"

You were slightly taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I asked. Why do you love me?"

You thought for second. "So many reasons."

"Give me a few of them." He said, not backing down.

You shrugged somewhat self-consciously. You were a little afraid to give away just how much you loved him, admitting that gave another person an awful lot of power over you.

But you looked down into his shining, Viridian eyes and knew beyond a doubt that you could trust him with that power: he'd never abuse it.

"I love you because..." you started hesitantly, but gained confidence as you spoke.

"Because you make me laugh, a lot. And because you're smart. Because you're so unbelievably kind - to like, everyone. Because I see the little things you do automatically, without a second thought, to make things easier for everyone around you. Because you're a peacemaker and a storyteller! I could quite literally listen to you talk for hours and hours and never grow tired. Because I see how much you hold up your friends when they're struggling. Because you hold me up too. Because somehow you're capable of keeping everyone in your life safe and happy, carried with love and ease on these broad, beautiful shoulders."

You kissed his shoulder again and spoke the next words quietly against the muscle there. "And because you're loyal, and I know you'd never hurt me."

You looked back at him, your expression remorseful. "I really am sorry I let my fears and insecurities get the best of me."

Jensen nodded. "I know." He pulled you down for another brief kiss and then spoke against your lips. "Wanna know why I love you?"

You nodded shyly. He turned to face forward again, pulling your legs tighter around him.

"I love you because your soul is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." His words struck you hard and tears came to your eyes.

"Because you make me feel like I could fly, like I'm capable of anything. I love you because you're impulsive and you force me to be a little more impulsive too. I love you for the way you love the people in your life, absolutely, and unconditionally. I love how you become a protective Mama Bear around anyone that is being harassed or bothered. I love the way you sass back to people who are unkind, I love that you don't let them get away with it."

He pulled your arms forward around his neck and turned his head to kiss your soft bicep. "But mostly, sweetheart, I love you for the exact, complete person you are. No one else is you. No one else could ever be you."

You nodded, rubbing your cheek on his. "I believe you, and I promise not to forget it."

"Good." He said. "And I noticed that nowhere in your list did you say that you loved me for the fact that I'm famous and/or that I make 'panties wet'." He said, using finger quotes and a giving a roll of his eyes.

You winced.

"Which I'm very happy about. Because you know, none of that stuff is real, the fame, the propositions from random women. None of it means anything. This is real. You. Here. All naked and wrapped around me, loving me...and trusting me to love you too."

You squeezed him tighter. "I will always trust you. I will always love you. And I will always be yours."

You leaned down and kissed him long and hard, until you both pulled away, desperate for air.

"And I will always be yours." You smiled at him and nipped his bottom lip.

"Exclusively."

1. Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

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3. Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

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4. Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

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[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

I can't believe that canonly Crowley showed up at the flood looking like an absolute babe, and then the next time Aziraphale saw him he's Bildad the Shuhite. I'm shocked Aziraphale recognised them so quickly.

[izzystizzys]

As High Marshall Commander, a title foisted on him by the Galaxy’s fakest bitch aka Chancellor Palpatine, Fox theoretically has privileges and authorities like no other clone. In practice, he has a headache and gets ignored more obviously than before.

What he also has is a fancy new function on his personal comm unit modified to broadcast GAR-wide to all commanding officers, up to and including Jedi. It gathers dust next to his own modified button that sees much better use - a private channel to Stone, the only vod that will let Fox bitch at him to his heart’s content without hanging up (Thire) or bitching right back (Thorn).

It’s been a long shift of 72 hours, the maximum Stabby allows him to do without a well-placed hypo to the neck, when Fox finally collapses on his rickety cot in the Command quarters and hits the private comm connection to Stone without looking. He’s already rolling his eyes so hard it tweaks at the migraine that’s been building since hour 18 and heaving a put-upon sigh.

“Everyone is stupid, Stone, and asking to be thrown face-first from the Dome balustrades”, he begins, settling into a low, dead tone of voice to warm to the building monologue. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. “I swear to haran I’m going to wring Amedda’s stringy neck one of these days. I don’t know what magical Force gods his mother pissed off, but they made sure to punish her and the Galaxy at large a hundred times over. He sucks the joy and competence out of every room like a black hole of stupid. I’d call him a has-been, but I trust in the power of nepotism and also just don’t believe he ever was. I swear he’s doing it on purpose and - oh, kriffing Sith-damned hells, you know who’s definitely doing it on purpose?! The kriffing Chancellor, that wrinkly ass-faced ballsack!”

Taking a deep breath, Fox lets that sit in his chest for a moment, indulging in the feeling of bright weightlessness. “I swear he’s trying to keep the war going - no one man can be that incompetent and still draw breath, not even Amedda or Taa. Goddamn Taa - but anyways, kriffing hell, Stone, either the senility isn’t an act or he’s a bad cartoon villain from Dooby Scoo. Yes Sir, sending Senator Amidala to a Seppie-infested planet for negotiations is a great idea after her fourth bomb threat of the week. No Sir, I can’t hear you cackling evilly with Count Dooku under your lame two-credit robe as you’re definitely not colluding with the Republic’s enemies. What, you have a red lightsaber?! Oh, of course I don’t know what that means, I was dropped on the head as a tubie!”

Barely pulling in a harsh breath, Fox continues, palms pressing into his eyeballs hard enough to cause sparks. “And speaking of lightsabers and senile fucks, haran smite my ass off but who the kriff thought it’d be a good idea to give absolute tactical and military authority to the kriffing eldritch space monks! The Force didn’t bless them with the collective good sense it gave to a kriffing rock, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise! Has anyone kriffing read the Theed Convention of Sentient Rights in Wartimes?! NO?!! Well, color me UNSURPRISED, because war crimes ARE NOT! GOOD! BATTLE! TACTICS!!”

“They run around in crop tops, Stone, in crop tops! Oh, the Force provides - WELL I’M GOING TO PROVIDE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, AND IT’S GOING TO HURT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WEARING KRIFFING ARMOUR!”

“Sure, let’s send the preteens into active warzones under heavy artillery in kriffing party wear! Surely nothing will ever go wrong! And give them commanding positions equivalent to CC-clones, WHO WERE LITERALLY GENETICALLY CREATED FOR IT! WITH A DECADE OF INTENSE TRAINING! LET’S DO THAT, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL KRIFFING STUPID!”

He’s gesturing wildly at the ceiling now, face heating up as his blood boils beneath the surface. “And you know what really gets my lowers in a twist, apart from the preteen commanding officers and blatant kriffing high treason and war profiteering?! Is it the complete lack of recognition? Gratitude? Basic sentient rights?! No, Stone, no, I would take all that in stride if it meant I never had to see Skywalker and Amidala kriffing canoodle right in front of me again, and pretend like it isn’t the galaxy’s worst conflict of interest case in the making!”

“By all levels of Sith-hell, what the kriff is wrong with that woman? You have it all, you could have anyone, and you choose that twatwaffle?! And then they have the gall to lock themselves in a broom closet for twenty minutes straight and have me guard it! ‘Oh yes, Senator, naturally we all go rattling brooms with our good friends! Nothing dodgy happening at all! I definitely believe you were looking for detergent and have used a washing machine before!’ The absolute nerve on those two! And then last week - you’ll never believe this - High General Windu passed by, and I swear he looked like he wanted to throw himself off the roof! I’ve never been less impressed by anyone in my life, and I’m batch-mates with Bly!”

“Speaking of Bly, that little bitchtit - if I have to edit one more, one more kriffing propaganda piece of him staring at General Secura’s bits, I’m going to stab my eye out! And if I have to edit one more of Secura staring at his bits, I’m going to stab the other one out! The only good thing I have to say about them is they’re more subtle than Skywalker and Amidala, which means nothing really. I will never understand that woman - but then she’s worked with Jar Jar Binks for a decade and not had a nervous breakdown, so she either has nerves of steel or is on some good-ass drugs.”

“Girl, your choices. And you know what else is a choice? Kote kriffing roundhouse-kicking heads off droids when he has a perfectly good blaster right there! I don’t know what the Longnecks put in his tube, but I hope to kriff it’s not contagious. I’d say I’m glad he has Kenobi to keep him in check, but that man wouldn’t know common sense if it punched his nose clean off his face. Flirting with General Grievous, ugh. I’d say he can do better, but honestly, they deserve each other.”

“And Wolffe - “, panting, Fox pauses, considering. “Well, Wolffe is an asshole and stupid, and I hate him because he’s stupid and has a stupid face. Also he keeps drunkenly submitting adoption paperwork on General Koon’s behalf - I wish I could say something mean about that, but honestly, his existence is roast enough. Anyways, bitches are trying me today, and by bitches I mean everyone. Commander Fox signing off to go not commit treason, unfortunately.”

Thoroughly powered out, Fox sinks into his hard mattress with a deep sigh. Several seconds of silence reign, and then his comm unit starts blaring in alarm.

Somewhere in the Jedi Temple, Mace Windu is knocked flat on his ass by a gargantuan shatterpoint exploding.

[muffinlance]

EMERGENCY FANFIC PROTOCOLS: ACTIVATED

Hey while AO3 is down

Here is a GDrive link to all my downloaded fics (it's OVER 9,000 2,000)

Mostly Avatar, also The Magnus Archives, Danny Phantom, Teen Wolf, and a few others

Mostly unsorted, some not even intentionally downloaded because the auto-downloader I use is Like That, so consider this a glorified "give me a random fic" button

MAKE SURE TO KUDOS THE AUTHORS WHEN AO3 IS BACK UP

>>> Linkie link <<<

Edit: Note that when AO3 comes back up that link will go dead again... until it's needed, once more

EMERGENCY FANFIC PROTOCOLS: DEACTIVATED

...Until next they are needed

If you were going through these for fic recs, check out my AO3 Bookmarks for the more curated list.

To make your own fanfic backups, I recommend AO3 Downloader or FanFicFare. (I'm not tech support for either; please don't message me for help.)

Happy reading!

[mrsducky]

THE FALL GUY 2024, dir. David Leitch

[wisteriagoesvroom]

thinking about... how oscar piastri wears almost only hoodies, sports jerseys t shirts, and polos to the track. and that he likes a good yachting investment banker bro sweater in his off time but will not be caught dead wearing one to the track. his hesitation whenever asked about his favourite movies or tv shows or music, and giving the blandest answers possible to not open any further routes of inquiry into his personal life or beliefs. just. quite fascinated by his. self-awareness. choices. the fact that he self-described as calculated since as far back as f2. his whole thing.

(btw i drafted this in like july and nicole piastri saying on red flags that oscar conceals himself pretty deliberately because year one was "not at all actually what he's like irl" just adds credence to my conspiracy theory tbh)

[nic-coughlan]

"no i don't think you understand, i'm OBSESSED"

[grippysocks-grippybox]

I actually melt when I listen to audios on here. Why am I voice activated? I hear a sexy voice and I’m suddenly soaked,dripping down my thighs.

Anyways send me your favorite sexy audios 🥰

[itsonlypolite]

I keep looking at your design for cheated and just cooing over him like how you do with a cat i love him so much

Thank you so much!!! I hope you don't mind if I use this ask to point out some fun details in my Cheated's design :)

Other Designs: Hunted/Contrarian/Cold/Paranoid/Smitten/Opportunist/Skeptic/Stubborn

Drawings w/out the text over them + my first design for Cheated ever under the cut!

[osteichthyens]

recently came up with a new insane (delusional) hc and it's just that capitano is actually a woman beneath the mask 💅💅

sam hsr situation but minus the cool robot ya know

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

the voices.

SO ANYWAYS!! Here’s a doodle I made of solar in about 40 mins!! I experimented with the colors a ton lol (mostly filters)

I like how the bright colors turned out!!! so anyways here

og V

I forgot where I got the original from I’m sorry!! If you made a post with this photo or are the owner please tell me so I can credit ^^ thanks

zoomup heheheh

ALSO DID I MENTION THAT IF YOU USE ANY OF MY PHOTOS AS A PFP YOU HAVE TO CREDIT ME-

anyways enjoy

[bridge-arsonist]

Cold-Smitten dynamic is so funny especially in Burned Grey because the Smitten goes "You killed her, so I killed you. Fuck you little bitch I'm going to make you suffer" and the Cold agrees that he killed the princess but also just goads him further because this is entertaining for him.

But Smitten's literally the person who created him? Manifesting Cold has a few requirements but an oversimplification of it is just "Kill yourself after killing the princess". If Smitten hadn't killed himself Cold wouldn't even exist in Burned Grey.

Idk it's just so funny man because. You go king. Create your own worst enemy. Don't just make up a strawman in your head, manifest the strawman in reality and have tense, mildly homo-erotic arguments with him. Even funnier is that Cold is pretty much at his most amused and clearly thinks Smitten's threats are some of the most interesting shit he's ever seen. The hateable guy you made up in your head doesn't even hate you back he just thinks you're hilarious.