#violence theyre talking about as Actual Violence because theyre white guys

[muttsona]

no, im not racist. i just think all rap music is bad because it's violent and sexual, which obviously has never been the case for any other music genres! it's not racist to say all rap music covers the same topics: drugs, sex, violence. they actually made a Music Rule that said only rap music is allowed to have these things. which means my white boy rock bands are safe 😐👍

[faggy--butch]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

the narrative parallels in Hamilton are insane actually. like between ten duel comandments and stay alive reprise and the schuyler sisters specifically its actually killing me

like the tune that introduces the will-be mother where she joins the growing revolution thereby disobeying her father who just wants her safe paralleling the song where her son dies in her arms after doing exactly what his father told him to do in a duel attempting to defend his fathers name from slander that he literally deserved because it was about how the father destroyed his entire life in pursute of creating a legacy for himself, and he then actively encourages his son to defend that legacy with his life and it immediately gets his son killed. which parallels the song where the father in his youth tried to start a duel to defend the name of HIS adoptive father figure from slander that he didnt deserve but instead of getting to fight that duel himself his gay lover steps in and fights it for him (theyre not gay in the show but they were irl this is. historical fact) and the guy who plays the guys lover also plays the guys son. and this song parallels the song where the father himself finally dies. in a duel. that he was challenged to by the man who kills him in it who opens the show by confessing tearfully to killing him. everyone is doomed by the narrative because its about real people who are already long dead. the cycle of violence in the pursuit of creating a legacy out of your life at the cost of everything you already have thats worth living for continues. is hamilton actually just walter white in a fancier coat. lin manuel miranda what was your relationshup with your own father like. have you ever been tested for autism. do you know about hatsune miku im chewing on your doorknob i just wanna talk

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. im sorry, yall cant tell me RS is some peak of writing when she can't even keep a tone consistent in a single episode. one second its a horrific sequence of violence and abuse for shock value, then the next second theyre making slapstick "jokes" and making goofy expressions. its good to have moments of comedy and lighter episodes to break up the tension, but those tonal whiplashes cant be forced together in nearly every episode. it just gives away rachel doesn't know what she's doing.

2. IDK why RS sounds so angry in her break post? Yeah it's very obvious it was Webtoons making her to do it but them finally showing some care for their creators to not burn out isn't a bad thing? I doubt the writing will improve or the art will go back to its former standard once it comes back, its too late for that now and her former style has been gone since 2019, but having a break isn't a bad idea. I know she isn't used to actually being told what to do by Webtoons is right in this scenario.

From OP: So, from another webtoon creator on twitter, the Remarried Empress creator went on break and only got like 1/10 of their income when they came back. Other webtoon creators were also saying that while on break, their income is basically non-existent. This might not be the reason RS wouldn’t want a break but this is a pretty understandable reason, especially since it’ll affect her livelihood.

3. I don't think an asexually budded kid would have hades lusting after them, i think it would be bad in the fact hades clearly only sees family through biological means. the bad dynamic would be in he wouldnt accept the child because theyre not what he wants because theyre not from him physically. if that wasnt the case he would have doted after young thanatos like a prince since he would be the child he never had, not mistreat and abuse him like how hades actually treated him as a literal child.

4. it should also be pointed out stuff like PJO and Hades game almost entirely get critiqued because they actually implement being diverse and inclusive and even (gasp) have main characters and relationship be BIPOC and LGBTQ+, so it's usually pissy white kids hating on them, meanwhile LO critics are the exact opposite in being overwhelming BIPOC queer women and people calling out its main gross, status quo protecting choices and regrssive ideals. i'm just saying their critiques are not the same.

5. LMAOOOO guys what if the "dread queen" persephone we see isnt actually her, but the asexuality budded heir she makes for hades? like RS just puts all P's negative traits in this kid (Melinoe maybe? she is the goddess of nightmares) and has her be the dread bringer while P gets to stay the uwu precious bean queen, and its just a fake out of her "daughter" being confused for her because theyre clones of each other. the panel stays canon w/o actually developing P. thats my fan theory now.

6. tbh if LO started out with the more simple style there would still be art critique but not to such a degree now. we saw how much effort it used to have, so to see such a stark decline since then opens it up way more to criticism for it, because we do know what it once was, and it seems both pure laziness and burn out has caused it to entirely go away. even rs' non lo art now is all in the more current rushed style, so its safe to say that old style is just not coming back, sorry to say :(

7. i feel like a lot of the stans dont get that a lot of frustration at LO is the fact its a very subpar product, especially now, made by an entitled white woman who constantly whines about "haters" who gets everything handed to her for her mediocre work (which is often the work of her underpaid team), meanwhile many more talented, hardworking, and diverse creators (like her own co-workers) who are making so much better products are left in the dirt. How is that not frustrating?

8. I feel like the anon who likes Thanatos and Minthe being likeable and the anon talking about Persephone never being able to stand up for herself/ never being punished go well together.

Minthe and Thanatos do face consequences for their actions. Hermes doing more souls behind Hades back made Thaantos look worse on paper and Hades chewed his ass out for it. Thanatos went to Helios and was burned. We even see Thanatos get nervous when Daphne talks about a Persephone. He’s aware of his actions and what may happen.

Minthe is also aware of her faults actions etc. after she slaps hades she says she needs to apologize, she knows what she did was wrong to Persephone when she sees it on the camera and freaks out. She even wonders why Persephone hasn’t ratted her out yet until it’s used as black mail. Minthe apologizes to hades right before she knows they’re gonna fight about the break up. She even sulks after her fight with Thetis but doesn’t blame anyone else but herself. I’m excluding when Hades fires her because Hades brought her as an employee first into his life girlfriend second and treated her as disposable and tried to smooth things over by just throwing money at her(I’ll pay for your schooling if you never try to bring up the fact I dumped you for a 19 year old, no hard feelings right?;)

But Persephone the worst she is aware is that she’s bad at her job that she doesn’t even do any more. Persephone is just a cloud in the sky not aware of her own actions but that’s fine since they have no consequences and if there’s almost consequences don’t worry hades will throw money at the problem.

I wouldn’t say Minthe and Thanatos are likeable because they face consequences but they’re more rounded out characters with flaws, power in their narrative, overcoming and hiding faults. 

9. Persephone telling Hades she will explain to him why torturing mortals is wrong and why Elysium is needed is basically "I can fix him" narration. Change my mind

10. That’s it too bc other than Hers and Persephone (which really isn’t a “mentor” relationship and has some rather gross things about it considering Hera only cares about her for Hades’ sake) there’s no genuinely good female relationships of any sort. Daphne and the nymphs are just said “to be like sisters” to Persephone but we see no actual proof of this. There’s no good mother and daughter relationships with Demeter, Métis, Leto, even Hera to her own children. The only decent mother relationship is towards Rhea and her SON Hades. Minthe and Thetis were horribly toxic with Thetis especially taking advantage of Minthe. Artemis and Persephone aren’t friends at all, Persephone is instead closer to a guy who had her kidnapped and basically forced her to admit she was SA’d to him! Hera only likes Echo because she’s “one of the good ones” and it’s a gross repeat of HxP being a boss lusting after their worker, but it’s a #diversity win because it’s between two women? I suppose the only “ok” female relationship is Athena and Hestia, but that also comes with the fact they’re the only confirmed LGBTQ+ rep used to oppress the poor straight couple, are still hyper gendered in their designs, and from Rachel’s own mouth is deeply ace-phobic and a horrible depiction of actual gay relationships. For something claiming to be about women and female empowerment, it fails on every front to even show women as anything other than props for the mens’ consumption and benefit. 

[bloodbenderz]

Can I ask what your season 1 Lok reboot looks like?

this is about 3k words i checked lmfao dont say i didnt warn u

a key part of the whole thing is that korra gets way more perspectives and more experiences representative of like, normal people in republic city bc i think something that really defined what a good avatar aang was was how many people he met and got to know and how he didnt exclusively or even mostly associate w cops and bureaucrats and leaders. so mako and bolin. well first of all their backstories are a little more fleshed out and we get a less black and white view of the “triads” (lol) and mako and bolin’s experiences w them. cuz the show very much does the whole thing of like Criminals Bad but dont worry even tho mako and bolin did commit crimes theyre not Criminals!! so just a little more nuance on the alleged gang problem and the poverty in the city

korra does start out very naive w very black and white ideas (ex. “you guys are CRIMINALS?”) i think a really good way of developing her away from her sheltered naive worldview is putting her in whats clearly an incredibly complicated city w an absolute cesspool of political conflicts, ethnic tensions, the lasting effects of colonization, etc and having her try and understand the needs of “the people” in a more complicated way than “i have to save the good guys from the bad guys” ykwim? and i think the absolute WORST way to do that is what they did. bc we get mako and bolin who could contribute genuinely compelling thematic elements to the story: one parent who was indigenous and one who was from a colonizer background in the decades directly following the end of the war, kids who grew up in poverty apparently without any familial support, and who now are trying to be “respectable” members of society (especially mako). and then most of that is pretty much tossed aside bc asami swoops in w her capitalist dad and her piles of money and the class issue is just never talked about again.

so the way i’d fix all that is like. introducing more, like, normal people. some nonbenders, more workers, more immigrants, etc, to show what daily life is actually like for people. because. we dont know! we dont have any context about whether the nonbender oppression thing is actually an issue bc we dont KNOW any nonbenders with normal lives! and spoiler: the nonbender oppression thing is not an issue. bc it doesnt make historical sense. lok is set 7 decades after the end of the war. that is not by ANY stretch of the imagination long enough to heal from the scars of imperialism, ESPECIALLY not when lok is also set in a settler colonial state. like that fact should have featured PROMINENTLY in the political and social setting! realistically, nonbenders arent an oppressed class, earth and water nation people are, regardless of bending status! as in all settler colonial states, the colonizers and their descendants (in this case fire nation people) retain most of the financial and political capital, leaving the colonized and racialized immigrants (in this case earth kingdom and water tribe people respectively) generally impoverished and politically suppressed. like aside from the fact that theres no way toph would have become a cop, it’s so ridiculous to think that an established privileged class of fire nation colonizers would EVER accept being policed by earthbenders!

imagine how much more nuanced and interesting it would be to set republic city as a remnant of a colonial past still fraught w the violence and tension that colonialism and the associated ideology imposed?? instead of some vague ideas of criminal who wear 1920s outfits and harass shopkeepers think about why extralegal and violent groups like that might form! earth kingdom people trying to push for the reclamation of their land? ethnic groups protecting themselves against corrupt cops? ESPECIALLY w the history that the fire nation has of SPECIFICALLY jailing and killing earthbenders and waterbenders BECAUSE of the potential they have to resist against fire nation imperialism like it just makes no sense at all that earthbenders would be privileged on land that, 70 years ago, they would have been imprisoned on! like these various paramilitary groups falling along these different ideological or ethnic lines, fire nation or earth kingdom or water tribe, pro colonization or anti colonization, pro cop or anti cop, pro immigrant or anti immigrant, and then you juxtapose that w depictions of a govt thats failing to keep this all under control w tenzin trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that it’s becoming increasingly obvious that the state has no interest in taking the conflicts seriously and would rather just point vague fingers at criminals and gangs? and THEN you bring in korra, who has no idea about any of this and thinks that all its gonna take is kicking some ass every couple days, meeting normal people who offer all kinds of different opinions abt the efficacy of the state and the different violent or nonviolent groups and ideologies clashing in the city and the way all this shit is affecting people’s lives and livelihoods and relationships w other citizens??

theres so much good shit there so many incredible things u could do w that like Where do we go after colonial atrocities? is it possible for a settler colonial state to take revolutionary or indigenous ideas seriously? is liberal reform enough in a state like this? and then all the growth that korra could do going from a simple black and white life about mastering the elements to this messy complicated sociopolitical knot of a city? and all the different kinds of characters u could introduce in this city? like why would u EVER think that the most interesting characters that this story has to offer is a police chief a congressman and a billionaire????

but anyways. that’s what the Setting of my idealized version of lok is. as for the actual plot, it is as follows

it starts out similarly as the show. republic city is MUCH more fraught w political tension and violence and korra knows this but assumes that it’s just a matter of throwing a few gang leaders and corrupt officials in jail. tenzin manages to come see them in the south pole and intends give korra real lessons while he’s there but they receive news of a terrorist attack in republic city only a few days after he gets there so his family has to pack up and leave again.

korra stows away to republic city (katara catches her leaving and gives her blessing im a SUCKER for that moment). she does have a hard time adjusting but she doesn’t do what she did in the show lol the first person she meets in the city is this older woman who works on the docks, directs her to a place where she can eat and gives her a roof to sleep under for the first night. so korra’s first exposure to republic city is just about forming connections w ordinary people like ship workers and a family owned restaurant and people practicing their bending in the park. and by the time she reaches air temple island a day or so later her head is spinning w all this new information and the way that nothing is really what she expected it to be. tenzin gives her his own perspective on everything and pema gives her her own perspective on everything and even those two seem wildly different from all the people she’s already met. and so korra starts to get a kind of outline of the conflicts plaguing the city as extremely complex and a lot more influenced by older ideas of fire nation imperialism and earth kingdom land reclamation than she had any idea about.

mako and bolin are still pro benders but not like. super famous like they are in the show. korra’s picked up a couple friends by now and one of them takes her to a gym where a lot of amateur pro bending (is that an oxymoron? lol) matches happen and thats how she meets mako and bolin and joins their pro bending team. Unfortunately for korra, this gym is run by lin beifong, and also has the distinction of being one of the most notoriously anti settler state organizations in the country. lin beifong is NOT a cop but she runs this gym (and the pro bending league) as a way to offer support to local earth kingdom/water tribe youth, teach self defense skills, a center of community organizing, and sometimes to act as a front to hide revolutionary/combat organizing against the pro fire nation paramilitaries/police force. tenzin is DISTRAUGHT that korra does this and this is where the friction btwn them comes from bc (from tenzin’s perspective) she does things like this without thinking or even fully understanding the context behind them and tenzin will have to deal w the political fallout of the avatar openly aligning herself w a very divisive figure in the community and (from korra’s perspective) tenzin is too unwilling to take sides in a conflict that’s claiming lives and when the state is clearly not taking sufficient steps to protect people well then why the hell shouldnt she align herself w lin beifong, who IS taking steps to protect and support people?

as korra more fully integrates herself into the city and learns more abt how different people think abt everything going on this is where the real exposition abt the equalists begins. they’re a paramilitary group w an ideology thats gaining increasing support among middle/upper class fire nation people, esp nonbenders. on the face theyre abt putting checks on “bender oppression” but really it’s an excuse to persecute and surveil earthbenders waterbenders and airbenders, bc fire nation people have all this leftover fear about benders who arent fire nation Rising Up Against them and these people who r using their Savage Excuse for Bending to terrorize good innocent (fire nation) people. theres all too frequent terrorist attacks that the equalists claim credit for mostly against monuments to earth/water/air nation people and earth/water nation community centers (one like it was the event that forced tenzin back to republic city) but also like the govt doesnt take a lot of these seriously or if they do only a couple people are charged without doing damage to the entire organization

this is also around the time that they meet asami and she becomes part of their friend group. asami likes pro bending but her dad HATES it so she sneaks out to watch matches at lin beifong’s gym (korra says ironically like don’t u know how ~divisive~ that is and asami answers that the only reason its Not divisive is that gyms like beifongs are the only place where nobody recognizes her). and asami alongside korra is also kind of developing a more nuanced perspective on the city that she lives in cuz obviously the only worldview she’s ever been exposed to is her father’s right? and she keeps pushing it off making excuses not to bring mako and bolin and korra around to her house or even not to be seen w them in certain neighborhoods until they call her on it and she’s like Well honestly my dad might do something awful to u! and i dont wanna risk it!

and as time goes on we see more abt asami’s home life like her father’s hyper conservative politics and asami keeps these secrets abt her hobbies and her friends from him but she’s still clearly under his influence and mako bolin and korra r getting increasingly worried abt it cuz like...asami seems to tend to make excuses for him so that she wont have to be drawn into conflict and originally they think its just her being privileged and thats def part of it but the more they find out abt it the more they realize what a tight fucking grip he has on her and the way that like. asami sneaking out once or twice a week is the Only thing she does for herself. and it really starts freaking them out how influential this billionaire is and all the information theyre getting from asami abt what a piece of shit he clearly is. and so that whole plot thing comes about and shows us how deeply embedded these “equalist” ideas are in conservative republic city politics and how much influence theyre actually having in policy making and law enforcement.

asami suffers in the aftermath of this like being forced to truly confront the harm her father is doing both to the city and to herself. and she ends up leaving home when this discovery really breaks. but bc of the deep corruption in govt and police sato isn’t really....dealt with? like this big story breaks and everyones like Oh, My God! Hiroshi Sato Is Funding An Illegal Paramilitary Group! and theres all kinds of inane political discourse about it and he’s arrested but he bails himself out immediately and his finances are examined but he maintains control over them and after a few weeks the gang (bc they Have become close among all this w much less interpersonal drama lol) has to admit that this news story hasnt done what they thought it was going to it hasn’t dealt the equalists a real hit its just given them a very high profile ally

and this is when things really start to ramp up in terms of action like up until now korra’s daily activities are mostly like hanging around in the city w her friends  (which in part entails doing little avatar stuff that people dont feel comfortable going to police with, like Can you help me my ex husband wont pay child support or Please help i got robbed and i really needed that money for rent next month or Help my son keeps skipping school can you talk to him cuz im worried abt him being safe and doing well in school) and pro bending and airbending lessons (which i know ive neglected this part of the story in terms of her whole spiritual/physical conflict but it’s more of a subtle thing like it’s one of tenzin and korra’s more frequent arguments like tenzin says she needs to focus on spirituality and korra asks why she even needs to bc republic city is a sociopolitical problem not a spiritual one) but now the equalist threat seems to really be looming on every level of society like the storyline of equalists preventing pro bending matches happens here and everyones just at a total loss of what to do next. plus increasing and scary rhetoric about tenzin and his family that destroying the last airbenders is necessary to preserving the integrity of the united republic

and so theres the equalist takeover of the city. the people who are mostly resisting this are lin and ragtag group of people who have been resisting colonial rule for a long time (including suyin, who is part of a communist anti colonial community outside the city, because i said so and i think it would be fun), people who have been visiting her gym for years, members of her amateur pro bending league, plus asami and korra and tenzin. korra and tenzin have a sweet moment (bc they do genuinely care abt each other a lot even if their relationship has been marked w a lot of tension and arguing) where tenzin says like you know i think that ive lost focus on the kind of spirituality that might actually help you. korra says what do you mean? and tenzin kind of gestures to where theyre sitting with people buzzing around organizing to take care of innocents and civilians and to fight the equalists and he says this is a kind of spiritual too, isnt it?

and something something plot plot blah blah i havent decided on the details of the plot climax yet but that’s the climax of korra’s character development and what helps her connect w her spiritual side in order to protect the city: the realization that community is its own kind of spirituality. and it kind of represents the real development that i want her to have going from somebody who thinks that the world is divided into criminals and victims and she has to save the victims Into the kind of avatar who understands the people that she’s bound to serve. she becomes an avatar of the people!

and then happy ending lol korra and asami get together lin and tenzin reconcile after years of being at odds the show ends on a hopeful note that the inhabitants of republic city and the united republic as a whole Can move on from the scars of colonialism by reckoning w the remnants of fire nation colonial ideology and reparations to the earth kingdom people whose land this is and destruction of colonial systems that have maintained and enforced colonial violence all these years

[with-the-same-tattoos]

Vincent 🥰

OTP for them: me n him lol 😔 but I'm pretty serious about Nubbins & Vincent. I just feel for them, two very confused weird people.

BROTP for them: Lester n Vinny!!! From other series, I do get the feel that he might get weirdly along w Asa. Artists!!!!!! So, yeah.

Other ships: there seems to be a loooot of Vinny ships huh!!!! My recent favourite is Michael & Vincent. Specially if we go RZ michael w it. I love the thought of him having this massive boyfriend around who is so hunched and never talks and never almost seems to move, just a gargoyle hovering in his own corner, but the pda is surprisingly cute when he DOES move. Also, mask makinh 2gether!!!

What kind of fic I’d write about them: ohh shit there's defi a lot of stuff I'd like to mess around w. I feel like an au where he just goes to art school would be nice but yk ; v ; i think I would kinda like to explore one of my characters, Monarda, with him, because theyre both very particular kinds of artists, and Monarda is a type of angel you talk about mechanics of belief and its effects while ur either mad drunk or have the worst heatstroke. But like, I think through Mona I could explore Vincents violence, and thru Vincent I could explore Monas understanding of feeling and presence. Other than that, just, standard y/n softfics......

A favorite canon moment: when he smacks away that plate, or is dragging that one dude by his feet.... or when he peeks from the window, or when he- yk what. Hes just a lot of fun. But the plate smack. He looks. Hm. How do i say this in a polite way...

Color that reminds me of them: black n waxy yellowish white naturally!!!

A headcanon about them: can be a lil pretentious at times!!! He can kinda be the "well, actually" guy and get a bit snarky. It's all bc hes trying to impress the people around him, but whenever he does it he just comes off as a bit of an asshole.... :( hes just wants to look cool tho

A random AU I think up on the spot for them: id love to explore him in more historic settings, for one. History of artists and lives artists lived is rly interesting to me. Patronages n such..... definetly baroque era, he already has that caravaggio lihght around 24/7.

Anything else: he really really challenges my ability to just chill tf out. Like im usually very *sleepy noises* but he makes me wanna act like a brat so he gets either endeared or so mad that he'll fight me on the sand road. I want his ATTENTION. I WANNA JUST POOF UP MY FEATHERS LIKE A BIRD I WANT HIS ATTENTION AND I WANT IT NOW.

[graffitibible]

how do killjoys treat raygun burns? i genuinely have no idea and i know you've already gone pretty in-depth with raygun wounds in general but i was curious about the treatment

cw: we’re gonna be talking about medical stuff and injuries in here. i’m not gonna include any graphic pictures and also i’m gonna warn anyone who wants to do further research that some of the images that’ll come up are gonna be pretty damn graphic. tread carefully!

SO i’m gonna be going off this ask here, and running with the assumption that raygun burns probably both bleed and burn. thats important since thats gonna affect how youd do treatment. it also means that raygun injuries are messy. most burn injuries in the real world can cauterize - theyre unique in that the site of injury is usually sterile at the time of injury. however, since the rayguns in this world are capable of making someone bleed (rather a lot too, if the comics are any indication), that means that these wounds can get pretty gnarly.

the important thing about how rayguns in danger days seem to work is that they are not pure laser bolts! if they were, they’d be able to pass through something and cauterize it pretty neatly, like a lightsaber. the raygun blasts have an obvious physical component - they can physically knock someone back, for example, and we see sparks shower when people are shot in the music videos. so rayguns in danger days have an apparent kinetic component to them: you are basically applying heat to the human body at high velocity. 

ONCE AGAIN, THIS GOT LONG. THE REST IS UNDER A CUT. mind the content warnings above!!

other than that, we’re not sure what specifically the makeup of the lasers like...are. electromagnetic radiation? plasma? heat? electricity? i doubt its pure electricity since that would be more consistently fatal, but it is some kind of bolt that has both heat and velocity on its side to be sure, but thats the extent of what we know.

now logically, this would actually cause the human body to like. explode. cause thats what happens when you apply that much heat to something made of mostly water. getting hit with a bolt of something that hot would cause all that water to boil off abruptly and then the steam would fucking parboil you. not a fun way to go though it is funny that the steam would be the thing that causes the most damage. so yeah actually a very gory kind of injury.

obviously thats not what happens in danger days, since no one to my knowledge Fucking Explodes when theyre hit with a laser bolt. but lasers from rayguns can make blood FOUNTAIN OUT OF A DUDE’S GUT in the comics so obviously they can do a hell of a lot of damage (the mvs are way less explicit but they also werent allowed to like, swear in the mvs and had to tone down some of the violence and shit so im taking the comics canon as the more “realistic” one wrt rayguns here) the science here is kinda...eh, cause laser bolts don’t appear to be a penetrating injury but rather a messy “burn and blister” kind of injury that are nonetheless capable of making someone eat it pretty quick.

but this is danger days and this is kinda where science goes to die so here is how i view laser injuries in the universe:

danger days laser bolts have a kinetic or explosive quality to them.

what this means is that the injury is twofold: first, the heat damages the external layer of skin. i’d hazard that we’re talking second-to-third degree burn levels of injury on immediate contact. second, the kinetic energy released at that velocity and force generates an explosive impact that does damage to surrounding tissue.

what’s left is an injury that both burns and bleeds. my take on it is that the bolt impact creates the open wound, while the heat intensifies that damage and disseminates it. you need a temp of maybe 300ºF and higher to cauterize a wound so lasers would have to burn at least a little bit lower than that since the injuries do consistently bleed. but since the human body is pretty sensitive to high temperatures that works out in our favor seeing as if you heat things too much, again, the risk is that we would Fucking Explode.

lots of burn injuries, especially third degree and higher, tend to bleed. since thats the closest thing i have to compare to a laser wound in danger days, thats going to be my basis here.

treating a raygun injury is likely to resemble burn treatment in a lot of ways

burn treatment stuff varies a lot and i will spare you guys from googling this and going “oh thank you google images thank you for showing me what a graphic third degree burn looks like i am so glad that i know this and that this is in my search history and keeps popping up in my search history im SO GLAD.” 

burn injuries go by degrees. first degree is like mild sunburn basically, and only affects the epidermis or external layer of skin. second degree affects the top and middle layers of skin and can leave blisters. third degree burns go all the way to the subcutaneous fat layer and can leave the skin white and charred. fourth degree burns can go through nerves and muscles and even down to the bone and can cause permanent damage that requires amputation. at fifth degree you have significant risk of organ injury and at sixth it’s basically like “fifth degree, but with the common side effect of Death.” 

again im not linking to anything here because pretty much every information article you get on this stuff is gonna have some nice graphic images. so if you look this stuff up on your own do it at your own risk or have an image/media blocker extension ready if that kinda thing squicks you out

the main takeaway is that any burn from like the third degree downward can be very brutal and hard to heal over - they can cause swelling and severe scarring and the destruction of the epidermis and hair follicles means that new hair won’t grow. add to that the idea of raygun blasts tearing open that external layer of skin that means that you can get burns that go in pretty deep which would go a long way to explain how it is a weapon that doesn’t appear to have a lot of “penetrating” energy is capable of killing someone relatively immediately, especially if theyve got that initial kinetic impact thats capable of tearing open the dermis and making the injury go deeper.

im going to tentatively say that raygun injuries are basically full-thickness burns with a few bells and whistles. basically, they destroy the epidermis and the layer of skin below it, the dermis. thats the level of third/fourth degree burns and worse, essentially.

so, serious burn treatment usually goes as follows:

clean! that! wound! it’s best to do this in a sterile environment, cause otherwise youre gonna end up blistering the injury and agitating it further. you wanna get all the dead tissue and gunk off the burn.

pain medication. with most burns the nerve endings can get pretty fried and you might not immediately experience any pain, but since raygun injuries go a little harder than your average burn, thats probably not the case. people definitely consistently react in pain after theyre shot with a raygun in the both the mvs and the comics. so yeah, its painful. pain medication is nice to mute that feeling.

antibiotics and/or tetanus shots to make sure that you don’t get an infection

intravenous fluids containing electrolytes as well as a diet high in protein and nutritional supplements

antibiotic ointments/creams for the injury

skin grafts to close the injury since a burn of that severity would have difficulty closing completely on its own. yikes.

continuous monitoring of the patient to prevent sepsis and eschar from fucking with the blood vessels and healing tissue.

obviously killjoys do not have the benefit of a fully stocked hospital. if youre in bat city youre probably gonna be in more luck. but if youre slumming it or if youre in the zones, heres what i imagine the killjoy diy procedure would likely be:

application of water over the wound. cool water is best, not ice-cold (alright alright alright alright alright etc)

cleaning the injury comes next to prevent infection. ideally you would use soap. do not scrub as youll agitate the wound

pain medication might be helpful here, but who knows if thats common out in the zones - and i imagine city-born killjoys might have some hang-ups with taking meds, so who fuckin knows there.

bandages, ideally clean ones, would help cover up the injury and keep it from the elements in time for it to heal. that will also cover up the skin while the bleeding heals up. keep the wound as closed from infection as possible.

check up on the injury consistently especially since the burn probably wasnt sterilized on impact the way most burns are. a messy injury like that one can go south very very quick.

realistically i doubt that skin grafts are readily available. its recommended that you stay out of the sun and avoid lots of exercise that might risk reopening the injury. and that...is going to be nigh impossible if youre a zonerunner lol. its likely that improper treatment can lead to infection and then death. it is also likely that too much agitation of the injury can lead to the wound reopening, infection, and then death.

if you get stuff like light grazes, where the bolts clip you but dont fully impact you, that means youre like to get some surface-level burns that cover a larger surface area. theyll heal quicker if you treat them right, but thats a larger area thats open to infection. burns that go deep into the skin have more immediate fatality risk. there could be variation here as well! maybe a laser gun with a lower or dying charge will do less damage. maybe some guns have fancy “stun” settings that don’t do permanent damage.

the human body is surprisingly resilient and can recover from a lot. but burns are no joke and a raygun blast can easily be fatal either immediately or a little bit after the fact. even if you survive the blast, there are likely to be a lot of repercussions to taking a serious hit, which im again basing on the noted consequences of major burn injuries

likely consequences of surviving a raygun hit in the zones:

scarring. especially without skin grafts, this ones gonna be a gimme, and likely permanent. serious burns can leave lots of color changes to the skin as well as keloid tissue (which is a raised, lumpy kind of scar tissue. you can google it if you want but as i warned before: images might be pretty grody). this would also prevent the growth of new hair in those areas. most hospitals try to excise this and replace it with skin grafts to speed healing but like i said thats not likely to be an obvious solution in the desert.

nerve damage. burns that go super deep can permanently remove the feeling from the affected part of the body. this is likely to be permanent. deep contact usually remains intact but stuff like subtle pressure changes can be outright impossible to sense. this can also cause contractures in the affected area.

weakness in the affected area. related to the above point, damage to muscle tissue and nerves can reduce range of motion, strength in that area, and more.

itching and pain at the site of injury. pretty self-explanatory. that one might get better as you go on depending on how good the medical treatment was at the time of injury.

inability to sweat. the destruction of sweat glands in affected areas are possible if the burn goes deep enough. in the desert this can be very bad news lol

psychological trauma. a given. any traumatic injury can have long-term psychological effects.

my main takeaway here is that killjoys who’ve been in lots of serious firefights are gonna have a sHITTON of scarring, some of it obvious. lots of killjoys looking pretty fucked up. lookin wiped out. my other takeaway is that surviving a raygun blast is pretty dependent on getting care for it as soon as possible, cause the infection/hemorrhage risk seems pretty high.

ofc this is just me analyzing this shit to hell and back and it’s probably nowhere near that scientifically DENSE im just detail-oriented as hell. so take or leave this answer, whichever you like lol. i like writing the nitty gritty details of injuries since i generally wanna emphasize how rough life in the zones can be so this is something im interested in exploring.

[coco96]

LDAF - JB Romantic

Bare Left Arms (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Request: ... people have the names of their platonic soulmates on their left wrist/arm and the names of their romantic soulmates on their right wrist/arm ... R has REALLY long list of platonic soulmates ... Bucky ... isn’t on her left arm list, he assumes that it’s because he’s unlovable ... when Bucky fully lets her in for the first time ... then they get each other’s names on their right wrist ...

Losing Almost Everything (Clint Barton X Daughter!Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SELF HARM Other warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, death Request: Clint barton’s oldest daughter from a previous relationship. She’s enganged to bucky when the snap happens and goes into a deeper depression when she finds out from her dad and natasha that laura and her siblings were dusted and clint and natsha both stop her from harming herself just in time.

Old Thoughts (Bucky X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Coming out, mention of homophobia and not being accepted, yelling Request: Hi! Would I be able to request a Bucky x daughter where he finds out she’s a lesbian and maybe isn’t so accepting of it at first but at the end he’s understanding/accepting and just rlly fluffy? If you don’t want to do it it’s totally fine

Anniversary announcements (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship and swearing. Request: … Bucky and the reader has been dating for a long time and one day they discuss for something stupid and Bucky move his arms in a strange way and the reader gets scared (because of the movement, not because she is affraid of him) and Bucky gets very sad and the reader try to explain him that she is not affaid? Like a lit angst with fluff. Hope you could understand it..

I’m Here (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Claustrophobia, panic attacks Request: Can you write one where Bucky and the reader are ok with each other but there’s some tension thrown around? Tony decides to make them work out what ever it is and lock them in a small room together. The room ends up being too small for the reader and she falls to the floor hyperventilating and Bucky tries to snap her out of it while cussing out stark cause he knows they’re on speaker.

Inspiration (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of past serious accident Request: … Bucky Barnes x reader where she was recently recruited after him and she has a similar prosthetic leg or something (you pick) and they bond over their prosthetics? Thank you so much!! 💕

You Should Know (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Bucky’s past Request: Hey! Could you please write a Bucky x male reader one shot where they’ve been dating for a while but the reader doesn’t know that he’s dating the Winter Soldier so Bucky tells him? Maybe some angst and fluff?

Bad Day (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: minor swearing once Request: … reader has had a really rough day at work and is really frustrated and when she comes home Bucky accidentally makes a joke that just sets her off? Can it please be really fluffy at the end? Thanks in advance!

Sisterly Assistance (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: Can I request a Bucky x T’Chala’s!Brother!Reader where Reader is older than Shuri but younger than T’Chala… He was taking care of Bucky with Shuri, and developed a crush on the White Wolf… He decides to tell Shuri about it and she plays match maker with them, because she knows that Bucky likes her brother, too…

Good Enough (Bucky Barnes X Asexual!Reader) Warnings: Self-consious reader Request: An asexual gender neutral reader x bucky where the reader breaks down bc they think they arent enough for bucky? Xx

Movies (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … Just where they’re all just snuggling together with the reader between the both of anthem because she’s the smallest + they’re talking about stuff thats been going on with the avengers; theyre all just really comfortable with each other + care about each other a lot. …

I Still Love You (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of Civil War Request: With the stark reader and Bucky one, can you do where he blames himself for the death of readers and Tony’s parents, but she still loves him, even though Tony doesn’t allow it. Eventually Tony and reader have a heart to heart and gives her his blessing. Bucky puts aside his guilt?

Learning To Love (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: … Bucky and the reader are in love but he avoid her because he hasnt remember how to be with a girl. So the reader confronts him and he tolds her that he is affraid of hurting her and fluff (love your fic, your amazing) <3

Part Of The Family. (Bucky X Tomboy!Reader X Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: Could you write something where Steve and Bucky live in a house and they have a spare room and put an ad out for a roommate? Reader is a college student with a crude sense of humor and she takes the room. She thinks farting and burping are hilarious and on weekends the 3 of them get together with lots of beer and sports on the tv. Because she’s one of the guys they say she’s the best roommate to ever have.

Pretty Woman (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of cat-calling Request: … Bucky x reader by the song “Oh Pretty Woman"by Roy Orbison?

Late Night Truth or Dare (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Alcohol and drinking Request: … the avengers with reader play to thruth or dare (they had been drinking so its more funny) and they said funny things until they ask bucky and he confess he is in love with the reader, and all ask them to kiss? …

I Can’t Leave You Here. (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Drug mentions, prostitution mentions Request: ... Bucky is dating a ‘normal’ girl but she’s never taken him to her place cause she’s embarrassed that she’s very low income? One day he follows her home and realizes how bad off she really is so he asks her to move in with him at the tower?

I Can’t (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … ‘Having a secret crush on both Steve and Bucky’ would include and I was wondering if you could do an imagine based on that with fluff and angst maybe where they try to make her choose and she gets upset and doesn’t choose so she ends up with either neither of them or both of them. Thanks in advance.

Starbucks (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: … reader is a barista at Starbucks. When the reader is on his lunch break, he’s meets Bucky for the first time after offering him a seat at his table (because all the tables were full). They hit it off really well and become good friends. Later on, Reader notices that Bucky starts coming to have coffee whenever reader is on break so they can hang out.

Memories In A Nightmare (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Nightmares, harm to character. Request: ... reader who has pretty galaxy/space powers calming down his boyfriend bucky? Extra fluffy! Maybe in his mindwahsed state bucky hurts the reader but reader judt loves bucky and is like no this isnt u!

A little Persuasion (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Angry/ upset Bucky, flirting, jealousy. Request:  ... Bucky is in love with the reader but wont confess, so Pietro flirts with the reader trying to make Bucky jealous and it works out, and Bucky confronts Pietro in front o the reader and lot of fluff?

Surprise! (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Sad emotions Request: … reader thinks everyone forgot their birthday but they were just planning a surprise party for them? …

Finally Complete (Bucky X Wife!Reader) Warnings: Infertility Request: ... They’re married and she finds out she can’t have a baby. So him and tony (her big brother) go adopt a little girl to surprise her. She gets in from work to see her super soldier snuggled up to a 4 yr old girl. She jumps up extremely excited and asks if your her new mommy. Reader is so happy she’s in tears.

Liebling (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... the Avengers make fun of the reader because she’s german and one day she pretends to insults them in german but actually she gives them cute nicknames? Maybe some Bucky x reader because he knows he’s got a special nickname? ...

I Brought Flowers (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Mentions of PTSD and illness Request: Bucky X Reader

I’ll Kill Him (Avengers X Fem!Reader)    |     Part 2 Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse. Request: Reader is the Avenger’s assistant and like a little sister to them, and one day she doesn’t come into work and Bucky goes to her house to make sure she’s OK and finds out she’s in an abusive relationship and helps her.

Sleep (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of violence and fighting Request: ... reader kinda acts like a cat and is constantly tired, no matter how much sleep she gets! ... the reader have aerokinesis ...

Unfortunate Reunion (Bucky Barnes X Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of CW, Black Panther, swearing and death of character Request: Bucky angst here, maybe a break up? Or a reunion years later after a break up? Maybe reader death? Thanks!

New Member (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... Bucky x mutant reader? Maybe she has fire powers? She’s very shy when she first goes to compound too ...

[neoflect]

im actually gonna make a post about midsommar and immigration/racism cuz i have not seen ANYONE talk about it even though ari aster has confirmed in interviews that the commentary is there in the movie, although its obviously way less in-your-face than what the movie has to say about gender dynamics and relationships. SPOILERS IN THE CUT, OBVIOUSLY

a common complaint about midsommar - probably the MOST common complaint, other than the standard "it was boring and i didnt get it" type shit from people who dont know how to watch movies - is that none of the characters of color make it out of the film alive. and while thats a valid complaint, its also 100% not an accident. dani - the blonde white girl - is the only surviving "outsider". after all, pelle tells her he was most excited for her to come. christian is also white, and of course he dies... but not before the harga convince him to make his genetic contribution by impregnating maja. (mark, the other white guy, also dies, but mark sucks and he deserved it.)

the harga are very insulated, of course, but they are aware of and have limited participation in greater society (austin powers, "we obey traffic laws" etc). and they understand genetics. they even practice a rudimentary form of genetic engineering wrt their "oracles". in one of joshs conversations w the harga they explain they dont have inbreeding problems because they keep careful records of their bloodlines, and they bring in genetic contributions from outsiders when necessary. theyre a religious cult that practices human sacrifice, but theyre not ignorant, and theyre definitely not stupid.

one of the things that stuck out to me about the script when I read it is that mark, josh and christian all get these humiliating and brutal deaths that they all sort of had coming, like a much gorier charlie and the chocolate factory, but the british couple, simon and connie, were perfectly pleasant and did nothing to deserve what they got, other than the mere act of trying to escape after witnessing acts of violence. and in the script it doesnt make sense. but in the movie, neither simon nor connie are white... and it starts to come together.

dani and christian are useful to the harga. they are young and fertile and, most importantly, theyre white (and blonde). their genes are valuable and necessary to propagate their white, blonde village "family". but josh and connie and simon? the very secretive, all-white harga were never going to let them get out of there alive. hell, maybe if dani had made a different choice as may queen, the harga would have been happy to let christian become part of the family! i fully believe dani and christian were hand-picked by pelle because they were a perfect genetic fit.

the white supremacy of the backwards, violent harga being a commentary on racist immigration policies writ large is woven into the movie. in christians apartment, a book on nazi history is on the table, square in the middle of the shot. (in the script, someone - iirc josh? asks pelle what he thinks of the swedish history of nazi collaboration, and he responds by pointing out the united states' own history of racism and war crimes. iirc this exchange did not make it into the final cut.) when the group arrives in sweden and mark is in awe of all the beautiful (white, blonde) swedish women, josh remarks that theyre a product of the vikings "dragging" ("raping" in the script) all the beautiful women from the countries they conquered. and as they approach the remote village, they pass a banner that reads (in swedish) "stop mass immigration to halsingland".

disclaimer that this is not a "your fave is problematic" post for people who thought the movie had a happy ending or were ecstatic to watch dani burn her shitty boyfriend to a crisp or whatever bc, yes, it is an extremely vindicating ending and i think its perfect from the perspective of midsommar as a "break-up movie", which is how aster has consistently described it. HOWEVER.... there is some more insidious shit going on there, and that was also very deliberate on his part. so it is worth thinking about i think. maybe it changes your perspective on the ending and thats ok. its got layers. its a good movie!

[nix-that-rad-lass]

A Bunch of Links, Receipts, and Sources for my fellow Terves

A Girls Place In The World by William Buckner About the reality of women and girls around the world https://quillette.com/2019/05/09/a-girls-place-in-the-world/

I Was A Lesbian Tomboy Allowed To Be Female; I Fear Young Girls Today No Longer Have That Choice by Tonje Gjevjon About the transing of gender nonconforming girls that would likely grow up to be lesbians if not for being transitioned before they are even old enough to understand what transition is. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2019/06/11/i-was-a-lesbian-tomboy-allowed-to-be-female-i-fear-young-girls-today-no-longer-have-that-choice/

Dagny on Social Media, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Youth, and Detransitioning. A transcript of a talk given by Dagny, a detransitioned young woman and member of the pique resilience project https://www.feministcurrent.com/2019/06/04/dagny-on-social-media-gender-dysphoria-trans-youth-and-detransitioning/

Ross Douthat Revealed the Hypocrisy in Liberal Feminist Ideology, and They’re Pissed by Meghan Murphy Self explanatory title https://www.feministcurrent.com/2018/05/04/ross-douthat-revealed-hypocrisy-liberal-feminist-ideology-theyre-pissed/

A Neo-Liberal Concept of Freedom has Allowed Gender Ideology to Take Hold by Heather Brunskell Evans https://www.feministcurrent.com/2018/12/02/neoliberalism-patriarchy-gender-identity/

Inauthentic Selves: The Modern [LGB(TQ+)] Movement is Run By Philanthropic Astroturf and Based on Junk Science https://medium.com/@sue.donym1984/inauthentic-selves-the-modern-lgbtq-movement-is-run-by-philanthropic-astroturf-and-based-on-junk-d08eb6aa1a4b

Politicians are Betraying Women in the Rush To Support Trans Rights by Jenni Russell Self explanatory https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/comment/politicians-are-betraying-women-in-the-rush-to-support-trans-rights-xzvhcf7m8

“Don’t Forget”, a compilation of sources, receipts, and other resources on male violence, compiled by @astro-didacted on tumblr https://nixtheoneandsecond.tumblr.com/post/188876269165/dont-forget?is_related_post=1

Pretty much a masterpost of RadFem beliefs and resources, compiled by @unleashtherage on tumblr https://nixtheoneandsecond.tumblr.com/post/188804771810/radical-feminism-is-a-political-movement-in

PDF of Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That” https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

The Wikipedia Page for the one and only TERF Icon, Magdalen Berns. She deserved better! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalen_Berns

A bunch of Andrea Dworkins works in a google drive PDF https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1i3r-gSizLC6UbyvM1ZJyCYMHtYvdss-S

Sex Before Kissing: How 15 year old girls are dealing with porn obsessed boys by Melinda Tankard Reist Self explanatory https://fightthenewdrug.org/sex-before-kissing-15-year-old-girls-dealing-with-boys/

Some tea on the tumblr porn ban from 2018. https://fightthenewdrug.org/tumblr-banned-porn-from-its-platform-one-year-ago-how-is-the-site-doing-now/

Why Victims Freeze Up During Sexual Assaults by Jackie Hong Tells about experiences, and the fight, flight, and freeze response. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/wd7945/i-froze-up-when-i-was-sexually-assaulted-and-we-should-stop-dismissing-that-response

Why Women Have Higher Rates of PTSD Than Men by Melanie Greenberg (spoiler: its because of sexual violence and misogyny)https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201809/why-women-have-higher-rates-ptsd-men

The Difference Between Toxic Masculinity and Being A Man by Harris O’Malley Finally, a small handful of men are actually attempting to be better and make a difference! Took em long enough! https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-difference-between-toxic-masculinity-and-being-a-man-dg/

Criminal Justice System: The Actual Amount of Sexual Assault Perps, Pimps, Johns, Rapists, and Pedophiles that Get Away With It https://rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

The First Legal Abortion Providers Tell Their Stories by Alex Ronan https://www.thecut.com/2015/10/first-legal-abortionists-tell-their-stories.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut#

How Much Does An Abortion Cost? by Charlotte Cowles Not only covers the price, but also types of abortion, prevention, and more on reproductive health https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/how-much-does-an-abortion-cost.html

8 Signs Your Partner Is Being Sexually Coercive by Suzannah Weiss https://www.bustle.com/articles/155328-8-signs-your-partner-is-being-sexually-coercive-because-you-can-always-say-no

Why Conservative Women are Okay With Harassment by Jennifer Wright This is regarding not only the general societal expectations which conservative women help uphold and enforce, but also why they are surprisingly okay with electing sexual predators to the government https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a23453699/conservative-women-response-brett-kavanaugh-allegations-sexual-assault/

Archaeologists Find New Way To Determine Sex of Cremated Individuals by Katherine J Wu Because we all run into those TRA’s that say its impossible to know someones ‘gender’ or ‘sex’ by just looking at them, or their remains in the case of those already passed. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/archaeologists-find-new-way-determine-sex-cremated-individuals/

Analysing the Bones: What Can A Skeleton Tell You? by Hayley Dunning Again, because TRAs love to say that skeletons are ambiguous when, in fact, they are not https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/analysing-the-bones-what-can-a-skeleton-tell-you.html

Sex Determination in Skeletal Remains from the Medieval Adriatic Coast - Discriminant Function Analysis of Humeri Hmm, wonder what this is about. You guessed it! More differences in the bone and skeletal structures of male and female humans https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3692335/

Sex Determination from the Talus of South African Whites by Discriminant Function Analysis Woah, more information on telling skeletons apart by sex! Almost like human skeletons differ between the sexes https://journals.lww.com/amjforensicmedicine/Abstract/2003/12000/Sex_Determination_From_the_Talus_of_South_African.3.aspx

The Reliability of Sex Determination of Skeletons from Forensic Context in the Balkans Oh my god, whats this?? More factual evidence of differences in physiology between the *gasp* TWO human sexes?? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/15567621/

Mandibular Ramus Flexure: A New Morphologic Indicator of Sexual Dimorphism in the Human Skeleton Okay, okay, I think thats all the skeleton stuff for now https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1096-8644(199603)99:3%3C473::AID-AJPA8%3E3.0.CO;2-X

Further Evidence to Show Population Specificity of Discriminant Function Equations for Sex Determination Using the Talus of South African Blacks Partner to a previously aforementioned article https://www.astm.org/DIGITAL_LIBRARY/JOURNALS/FORENSIC/PAGES/JFS2003431.htm

Why Talking About Bowie’s Sexual Misconduct Matters by Angelina Chapin Article about David Bowie and his misconduct. pretty much, you shouldnt always separate the art from the artist. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-talking-about-bowies-sexual-misconduct-matters_b_9009230

Witches, Midwives, and Nurses: A History of Women Healers by Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English http://www.feministes-radicales.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Barbara-Ehrenreich-and-Deirdre-English-Witches-Midwives-and-Nurses-A-History-of-Women-Healers.-Introduction..pdf

This entire blog is gold. To quote them: Saying No To Penis is NOT Hate Speech [ffs] http://thenewbacklash.blogspot.com/?

Steven Hassan’s BITE Model about what constitutes a cult. You know, like the gender cult. https://freedomofmind.com/bite-model/

What Is Darvo? by Jennifer J Freyd DARVO is the reaction that many sexual offenders display in response to being faced with the consequences of their actions. https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

Sick Woman Theory by Johanna Hedva Genuinely just read this, its too good to summarise http://www.maskmagazine.com/not-again/struggle/sick-woman-theory?fbclid=IwAR2cQyCRT5olIzkBGfO_F5HvES28bhdIcbUyc9g1W_p0L6o7U8gopDp5Kxw

Taking Back Your Mind: A Radical Feminist Approach to Recovering from Porn Use by Kitty at medium com https://medium.com/@kittyit/taking-back-your-mind-a-radical-feminist-approach-to-recovering-from-porn-use-8ae9347c3d8f

About Female Infanticide http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/medical/infanticide_1.shtml

About Female Genital Mutilation https://www.who.int/en/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

About Child Marriage https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/about-child-marriage/

Who Cooked the Last Supper? from @aeroposter

https://aeroposter.tumblr.com/post/166368772300/who-cooked-the-last-supper-by-rosalind-miles

Breast ironing: Abhorrent Practice Becoming Endemic In UK by Alexandra Sims

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/breast-ironing-abhorrent-practice-becoming-endemic-in-uk-a6950521.html

About Forced Pregnancy

http://www.stopvaw.org/harmful_practices_forced_pregnancy

Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans or Was I Trans All Along? As if we needed any more proof that it is, indeed, a fetish

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2mn8au/did_sissy_porn_make_me_trans_or_was_i_trans_all_a/

Did Porn Make Me Transgender? Who coulda thunk it

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/did-porn-make-me-transgender.61492/

Jealous of Lesbians? Yep, thats right folks. Transbians really are just rapey straight guys with a lesbian fetish. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/55zkbs/jealous_of_lesbians/

Just when you thought men couldnt get much worse... https://metro.co.uk/2013/07/09/peeping-tom-arrested-after-hiding-in-septic-tank-and-staring-at-people-using-the-toilet-3874756/

Houston Man Posed as a Doctor to Rape a Student

https://abc13.com/5730127/

Rape In War: Challenging the Tradition of Impunity

https://www.hrw.org/legacy/women/docs/rapeinwar.htm

Doctors & Sex Abuse: Patients Sexually Abused While Sedated

http://doctors.ajc.com/doctor_sex_abuse_sedated/

Man pretended to be gay in order to get close to a woman and ultimately rape her

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/man-convicted-of-raping-woman-who-he-allegedly-befriended-by-pretending-to-be-gay/

Complete collection of Andrea Dworkins work

http://radfem.org/dworkin/

[detectivehole]

Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID  he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in 

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality  tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

[spidermanifested]

not to do Universal Steve Discourse on main in 2019 but....... i did genuinely enjoy the season finale and i want to like. express the reasons why? in a really really really long drawn-out and needlessly convoluted manner probably because this is being typed on mobile and im tired

first of all i know the main thing people dont like about how things have gone in general is the fact that its less You Gotta Beat the Bad Guys and more You Gotta, Talk to the Bad Guys Until They Stop Being Bad, which is not very often a realistic approach to stopping actual horrible people in our real human society from doing actual horrible things

and i get it!! but honestly the way the finale goes about resolving conflict (or specifically how steven goes about resolving conflict), while flawed, feels more like. a mediatorial power fantasy id have as a kid than anything else. like....... for once, things not having to end with the strongest person coming out on top. making the other side just sit there and listen for a few minutes, and force them to realize that their actions have consequences for the rest of the world and the people they claim to care about. that no, their idea of whats best isnt always helpful! that theyre ignoring everyones actual needs in favor of an idealized and selfish narrative!

every time i would watch a show featuring superheroes or anything similar when i was younger id hate that it always had to resolve itself with violence instead of just TALKING to each other, and maybe su and the homeworld arc in particular isnt an accurate portrayal of successfully navigating interpersonal conflict with stubborn assholes or of fighting systemic oppression or a fascist government colonizing everybody else and suppressing all dissent through any means available or whatever but. sometimes metaphors dont work as a direct 1:1 comparison to things happening in real life, and thats, okay i think? sometimes? i dont know it just feels good to see everybody UNDERSTAND each other. it reminds me that its. actually possible once in a blue moon to convince someone to treat the people around them with respect. and it just feels good honestly. its a fantasy show and Everybody Goddamn Finally Getting Along is a Common and Valid Fantasy to Have Especially If Youre a Kid in a Bad Place

also: though in a lot of scenarios this way of approaching the diamonds wouldnt be feasible at all, steven in the show is not just a random human whos magically able to change the minds of alien dictators. hes the son of maybe the one person they had any compassion for, and they treated him like he was still her, which even then Wasnt Great because the diamonds were not a healthy familial setup by any measure. but at the very least they could SOMETIMES be swayed by pink. and he used that to its advantage by showing them how much they hurt her, and then by extension how much they hurt everybody else, even if they didnt particularly care about the rest of their “flawless” gem society. and maybe they still dont!!! maybe theyre just making reparations to honor pink. but when it comes down to it their feelings dont matter. their motivations dont matter. their ACTIONS matter. in stevens words: “you did this, and now you have to fix it”.

he used his foothold in their good graces (again, relatively) to make them take a closer look at their actions, and thats what makes it more rational to me. because of course they wouldnt listen if he was some random half-alien kid. if he really was unrelated to the diamonds he would have HAD to use force. you dont get people to listen to your viewpoint by just talking when theyve already convinced themselves youre below their consideration and itd be useless to pretend otherwise, yes!! but to use another characters metaphor- the best character in the whole show (bismuth)- if you are a lion, you can safely enter the lions den. use your respected-as-a-peer status to convince the people around you to be better. obviously everybody being affected by oppression can fight with everything theyve got and it makes a huge difference, but what also makes a difference is people in positions of privilege standing up for other peoples rights and magnifying their voices, and the burden of breaking out from an unjust system shouldnt NEED to be placed on the downtrodden. we should fight, but we shouldnt HAVE to fight. its not our fault things are this way

and giving up on galactic conquest doesnt suddenly make the diamonds good people. not once to my memory do they ever actually verbally apologize (at least white diamond definitely didnt) but like i said before, that doesnt really matter to the people they hurt. the damage is done and any apology offered would just look flimsy and performative. instead steven has them just shut up and fix the things theyre able to fix. nobody says “i forgive you”, they arent suddenly given tragic backstories to make the audience sympathize with them, theyre just... the same close-minded egotistical royalty, but being forced to look at everybody else from a different angle for the very first time, directly after coming to grips with the fact that their awful caste-based society pressured one of “their own” into faking her own death and later dying for real just so she could experience life outside of the constricting role she was born into. thats their thing. that isnt a redemption arc so much as a “hurray we made them pay for their reprehensible actions in a constructive and viable manner” arc

i think thats... cool? less focus on Punishing Wrongdoers and more focus on Fixing Problems. we need that. in a lot of ways

but yes i also wholeheartedly believe that you should not argue or debate or converse with fascists in real life unless youre somebody they have to take seriously. like. their dad, or something. and dont do it anywhere public where they can perform for the audience instead of addressing your words. and also dont do it on the internet where they can screencap and mock you with their friends instead of being serious. but if youre their dad i dont know why youd need to be doing that. anyways this post is long enough so thats the end of my ‘Punching Nazis is Very Morally Good and Also Fun and Im Not About to Say Otherwise in a Million Years’ disclaimer

the tumblrmobile refuses to post this so ive had to save it as a draft and come back on my laptop to add tags good website great design functions as intended

[bloodbenderz]

humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕

article

i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!

ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).

this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.

and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.

So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.

and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!

the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.

i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.

it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.

anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3

[carmineclock]

Dead Man Blues

Doc Scratch 4:28 PM

Its been an hour or so since your big meeting with the others, hopefully things have cooled down somewhat since then. You'd like to think you kept it quite calm and tasteful, despite your overall annoyance. Most of this time you spent updating your journal. You really have to do something about all these journals, its not safe to keep so many. And yet... With a sigh you set your pen aside. Time to do yet more damage control. You still think theres a chance you can get through to Trace, though perhaps you might be as bad as Clover in taht regard. Hoping is one thing, some men just dont change. Still, you make your way down to the holding cells. Perhaps your chat with Trace just needed a more dire backdrop. A broken arm and a cold concrete room with metal bars could be just what the Doctor ordered. Hoo hoo.

Trace 9:01 PM

Dire backdrop is an understatement. Your arm is long swollen, wrapped carefully in your shirt to give it some stability. You know a bit of first aid, but that is surprisingly difficult when it's your own arm and the only means you got available are what you have on your person. The new wound on your chest is just as aching, red and bloody with a hint of gold. You may have managed to pass out for a few hours, but you could hardly call that sleep, especially with that nightmare. Her body, stabbed and strung up - not Aradia's, but Nepeta's. A message to the one closest to her - Fin, angryy setting fire to your very self. The images linger, even long after you finally come to. And then the nightmare after you wake up - Snowman and how she dragged Fin in for your mutual punishment. How she used your wedding rings to violently erase the tattoo on your chest marking your love and relationships. When Scratch enters, you're wide awake, as much as you loathe it. Your mind still feels foggy and worlds away, definitely not prepared for a talk with him.

Doc Scratch 2:28 AM

You study him as you walk in, taking note of the remnants of Snowmans lesson. As graceful as she is deadly, as always. The gold makes a nice addition in your opinion. You take a chair from the nearby table and move it to in front of the bars in silence. After you moment you sit backwards with your arms resting over the back of the chair sit down normally, like a gentleman. This isnt an interrogation, or a call for confession, its just a conversation. "So, lets have it out, Trace. Whats this Droog business really all about. Dont you realize what youve cost yourself?"

Trace 9:51 AM

It never not feels like an interrogation with Scratch. You look up and watch him as he gets comfortable, then stare off to the side when he speaks. The muscles in your jaw tense, and when you reply, your hoarse and cracking voice clearly shows your exhaustion and pain. "Sir.. Do we really need to do this now? I'm not exactly the best for a talk right now and I'm really not too keen on netting me another scar for mouthing off..." Of course, you're aware he wouldn't have it any other time then when you're broken and at your wit's end.

Doc Scratch 11:27 AM

"If you're worried about your mouth, then I suggest you keep a civil tongue. I'm not concerned, though. Theres a kind of freeing honesty that cement walls and metal bars bring that can be found nowhere else. At this point, I would rather you speak freely, its just us now." Just the two of you. Man to man, or whatever Trace can be considered. Its an interesting thought, his classification may change as his DNA did. You'll have to look into that later. For now, your eyes are solely on him. His broken body, his pain. "Tell me true, Trace. I want to hear it. All of it. I wont punish you for speaking truthfully when asked. Its lies I hate the most."

Trace 3:03 PM

You give him a sour smile. You'll believe it when you see it. "What this is about, you really gotta ask?" Feels like you already talked plenty enough about this, and you doubt you got anything else to say that could placate him. Only plenty of frustration that has built up over everything, and you're way too tired to filter your words. Lets see who of the two of you is going to regret that more. "I.. am sorry that any of this ever reflected back on you, Nepeta or any of the Felt. It should never have been anything but personal. Which, I realize...  there's not really a personal in this outfit, is there?" you begin, actually honestly. "This... it was nothing more than a brawl between two guys heated up on a little too much emotion. But then this bastard.. abducted Nepeta, tortured and abused her, and then me. Cause he was pissed he got decked in the face. And he kept going, provoking us again and again, paralyzing her, seducing another, hurting us, as a whole, again and again. How could you expect me to do just nothing? You've been sending a signal, to them and to us, that they can just pick members of this very house off the street and do with us what they want." You try to sit up properly to face him better, wincing from the pain shooting through your arm again. "How has this not been a war yet for fuck's sake? How come Snowman can take the god damn white queen hostage, but we sit idle when the Crew come to pick us apart bit by bit? How come Snowman can take the god damn white queen hostage, but we sit idle when the Crew come to pick us apart, bit by bit?"

Doc Scratch 6:17 PM

You sit in silence, letting him say what hes going to say. You dont blame him for his views, and if anything, this lashing out may prove beneficial to you. No matter what happens from now on, Droog will have the reminder in the back of his mind. Certainly he wont forget it. Idly, you pull at the edge of your gloves, nodding every so often through his heated speech. Well, hes partially right on certain fronts. It really should have been war by now, whether you wanted it to be or not. The crew have gotten bolder and bolder, could it be your fault? Through inaction, have you allowed the crew more purchase on this slippery slope than you'd intended? "To start off, I'll answer your question. The reason it has not been war yet is because we did not have the numbers to win a war." You let out a silent sigh. "In truth, I'd hoped to collect our full set before provoking the Crew into an all out battle. I dont know how many wars you've seen, Trace, but I've seen enough to know that as much as you and all the others may want to go to war, young men that you are, we are not in a favored position for it. The Crew will always have the love of the common people, they built this city, and those that reside here are their kin. They have the better defenses, and most importantly, they have magic. True magic, the likes of which I cant begin to match." You pause to stand, arms folded behind your back as you pace, speaking more to the open air than to Trace now.

"Snowman is an army in her own right, its folly to compare anything or anyone to her. This little brawl you've had with Diamonds, its beyond reason and a waste of resources besides. If you were provoked into action, then you're a fool, because thats what Diamonds wanted from you. But more than that, you've allowed him to take the higher ground. The city is going to bleed now, I'll see to that, but you've allowed Diamonds to make it personal. And a man on a revenge mission doesnt care for the ruin he causes. I did not take what I've taken of this city for the last fourty years just to see it burned by some self righteous bastard in an Armani tuxedo." Another sigh, louder this time. You rub your temple, pausing in your pacing to look back at him. "Provoking. Abusing. Hurting us. All of us. You're right on that front. What one of us suffers, we all suffer. It was my mistake. I took this for play, the usual violence between men at odds, petty revenge for the sake of sleeping better." “But no, this has gotten well and truly out of hand. And its too late to go back. You’ve signed us up for a a war we were not prepared for, against an enemy whose eyes you’ve spit in, and now you say it should have been sooner. Hmph. Maybe you’re right. I dont hear the heckling of those underneath me, but it would only make sense that you do. So, then, its to be war. Do you have any plans for this war you’ve longed for, Trace? Any soldiers for the army? Connections to supplies and trades? Or did you expect that all you had to do was start it, and that I would finish it?”

Trace 8:05 PM

Well, obviously, you don't have any of these. You didn't plan for a war, let alone prepare for it. This was a selfish and careless act of revenge and he knows that. You're slowly starting to realize that you feel more bewildered about Nepeta's reaction than the prospect of war. This life has already been hell and you're tired of playing along. How little you care about Scratch's achievements and goals. Still, that is not an answer to give your boss and, unfortunately, owner. You close your eyes and think. The least you owe the others is to try  And if you've doomed all of you to die and burn, maybe you can at least rip a big hole into the crew. "..How much longer is he gonna have the favor of the common people if he's burning them? If he lashes out without remose and care, use it against them. With fires burning purple, it's not hard to besmirch their name. You have sucked the people dry under threat of violence and torture if they don't pay up. If you lack manpower, offer then alternatives. The crew is torching Felt warehouses. If it's supplies we lack, take theirs. We may be lacking time to prepare, but so do they. It's not too late to gain the upper hand."

Doc Scratch 1:40 PM

You stand and listen as he rattles off his ideas. Theyre not all without merit, but theyre naive, blunt, though its something you've come to expect. How could he possibly have known what he was getting himself, and the rest of the Felt, into. "Hes not burning them, he's burning us. True, it was careless, but Droog wont stay careless. Hes distraught over his daughters death, but he wont stay that way forever. He has as at least as much of a tactical mind as I do, he was built for war." You run a hand over your head, eyes closed in thought, trying not to imagine plumes of purple smoke eating their way through the Felt manor. Purple and green clash too much, it would be hideous. "I have ways of retaking the people, though its not the dregs of society that I'm worried about. All  I need is a shiny coin and a loaf of bread to win their loyalty back. We need to spread out. We need bases of operation throughout the city, safe places that arent glaring green mansions on a hilltop. If the Crew want war, we have to play their game." Yes, this is sounding more like a plan every passing second. You almost get carried away, before remembering where you are. This is no time to get caught up in nostalgia. "You know, it would be much easier planning if we had our trackers back. You and Fin have skills that will be of paramount importance coming very soon. Yet, I hesitate to bring you into the fold. Why should I trust that you can stay your hand? That your loyalty to this organization will trump your lust for revenge? You've proven the exact opposite is the case. Give me a reason why I shouldn't just let you sit down here and rot until the war is over with."

Trace 7:47 PM

Hey, can't blame you for trying, considering your situation. The night in here didn't exactly allow you to do your homework. Neither does it help with the next question. You look at him, tired as you are, trying to muster up the energy to defend yourself. Can't say you're, heh, dying to prove your loyalty to him, but wasting away down here in this cell doesn't seem like a solution either. "I... can't live without this organization. And neither can those that I care about. I know that my actions didn't exactly show it, but I want to do what I can to help it succeed and keep us all safe where possible." You'd like to assure him that your thirst for revenge is well-quenched - and for now it is. But should anything happen to Nepeta and Fin in this war you've apparently summoned, things could get ugly really fast. You won't tell him that. He's probably well aware. You'd like to not have to come to that though. "You gave the reason yourself. We're good at what we can do, and without us, this is gonna be much harder to deal with. Sure, it's a risk for you, but I'd be the one out there, risking my neck. It's my blood they're after. I'm not expecting your trust. I'm sure if you send me out there again, you'll be keeping a close eye on me, until I'll maybe have proven myself someday. Not sure what else I can give you besides my word, and I don't think that's much worth to you right now."

Doc Scratch 1:35 PM

"Hmm, its true enough." You sit back down, leaning back as you think. If you were a lesser man, you might consider handing him over to the crew and suing for peace. That would only be a short term fix, though, and probably cause more problems than itd solve. Not to mention youre loathe to lose one piece of the set. "In truth, Trace, I dont blame you for your actions. Not fully. Droog brought his suffering upon himself. We're just lucky he was good enough to burn all the  evidence." "At the very least you'll be going back to work soon, though as far away from Fin as possible. Perhaps Crowbar can take up the handle of your keeper. I cant have a mad dog running around doling out a childs version of vigilante justice." "For now, though, youll enjoy these accommodations. Im just having your room prepared."

Trace 1:48 PM

You should probably feel relieved at that response, could have gone much worse, after all. But the feeling of anxiety and dread keeps lingering. "I guess that's only fair." You lean back as well, which sends another pain shooting through your arm. A quiet hiss escapes you. Cursed thing. "Before you leave.. with all due respect, not trying to tell you what to do, but I don't think you'd find having me lose my arm or my life to an infection practical..."

Doc Scratch 1:55 PM

You were aleady on your way out when he makes his request. Now you pause, and turn slightly. "Does it hurt? Good. Its supposed to. Someone will be down soon to tend to it. Think on your mistakes, and how you can do better in the future." With that, you take your leave, closing and locking the door behind you.

[mandaloriangf]

reasons why detroit become human makes no goddamn fucking sense beyond just the shitty allegory (aka i nitpick the fuck out of this game)

captain allen refuses to give connor any information about daniel despite this being a hostage situation and connor is there to diffuse it

also allen says that if connor doesnt take care of it he will and if he could why didnt he??

connor can reconstruct crime scenes with so little information that theres no way he could come to his deduction. for example in the first chapter he figures out that the father was holding something when daniel shot him despite there being NO WAY he could know this

theres segregation despite the fact that androids are servants to humans??? how are androids supposed to work for humans if they’re barred from entering certain places??

TEMPORARY PARKING????????????

unemployment is at 35% yet the economy is booming????

unemployed people blame androids for stealing their jobs despite the fact that androids did not get a choice and were made to do certain jobs. their anger should be directed toward cyberlife

markus shows emotion and has a distinct personality before becoming deviant like why does he even need to become deviant when he clearly already is??

carl’s on the nose monologuing. 

carl says lets see where we left off and when markus takes down the tarp theres a finished painting. carl makes like five strokes lol. 

he also makes the same “oh my god” no matter what markus paints

PRESS X TO SADNESS

how does todd afford kara and alice when he doesnt have a job

and why does he live on ethan mars’ street 

and the biggest issue - ALICE IS AN ANDROID??????????

seriously how do android children work? whats the point???? if people hate androids why would they pay money to take care of one????????????????????

honestly how do they work? because alice can sleep but she doesnt eat????? and shes not gonna age so what happens to child androids? do they just have their memories wiped and get bought by another parent????

and if alice is an android, why does todd say kara needs to help with alice’s homework? she doesnt go to school! its addressed in the same fucking chapter!

and why doesnt alice saying anything to kara like hey stop trying to ask me if i want food i dont eat because im a fucking android

also kara figures out that alice is an android at the very beginning yet just ignores it?? i guess??????

and alice has a picture in her keepsake box of todd, his wife, and his biological daughter?? why???????? kill me

todd leaves his drugs in the laundry detergent, makes kara do the laundry, and then gets mad when she finds the drugs

HE MAKES HIS ROBOT TURN ON HIS ROOMBA LSAKDJFLKSJDFLKJSDF

no one does anything when connor enters a bar that doesnt allow androids

also its never explained in game (i think) why connor does the coin trick. i suppose it can be up to the player (i see it as a nervous habit/fidget device but you could also argue its for recalibration)

no one checks the attic of carlos’ house??? and his android hid up there for THREE WEEKS????????????

connor is designed to work “harmoniously with humans” but they gave him a forensics lab on his tongue so he literally just puts blood in his mouth in a crime scene alsdjflsjflajsdlfjdlj

kara serves alice dinner and alice actually sits there but she wont eat BECAUSE SHES AN ANDROID

the guy that comes on the bus doesnt bat an eye when he sees an android in the human section of the bus (i almost threw up typing that)

leo can survive that????????

carl doesnt try to reason with the cops before they shoot markus

why do deviants self destruct in stressful situations? we dont know. we dont fucking know. 

connor can show genuine compassion to carlos’ android but doesnt seem bothered by it????

why is there such an extensive android scrapyard? first of all theres android resale shops (yuck) and parts are probably expensive, plus androids have existed for what? ten years at the most? theres no way cyberlife would just allow perfectly good android parts to be thrown away this makes no fucking sense

MARKUS CAN JUST PULL OFF HIS LED LIKE ITS A STICKER

A STICKER

seriously if its that easy whats the point? they already dress androids a certain way, why have the led except to know what androids are thinking? and if theyre thinking dont they have some level of free will?? (for example kara’s turns red when todd threatens her)

no one recognizes kara despite being a relatively common model like yeah she eventually changes her hair and clothes but she’s still got the same face lkadjfalsjdfljsdlfj

connor is unfazed when he’s shot but looks like he’s in pain when gavin punches him??? 

connor is able to get a confession from carlos’ android but can’t make small talk asdjflskjdfljdf

the whole chapter where markus finds jericho doesnt like have a lot wrong its just REALLY tedious

though the jump scares are stupid

ra9 is constantly referenced (particuarly in connor’s story) but doesnt go anywhere. at all. unless i missed something. but as far as i know its never explained who ra9 is. 

(i think its markus)

the deviant in the pigeon filled apartment is just chilling in the attic? why do androids always stay in the same place instead of escaping????

the androids in jericho are really just hanging out in an abandoned, rusting ship doing nothing. like theyre shutting down bc they dont have blue blood and incompetents but no one thinks to go get any until markus rallies them. 

also what is up with lucy? why does she talk like she can see the future

THE ENTIRE ZLATKO CHAPTER HAPPENS AT ALL

no seriously!!!!! you expect me to believe kara would just go to the address given to her by some random garbage collector android in the middle of the night which leads to a creepy house with a creepy guy with BLUE BLOOD ON HIS FINGERS who wants to take kara into the basement alone to remove a tracker she clearly doesnt have??????????????????????? she would’ve just booked it

KARA ACTUALLY GETS IN THE MACHINE AND IS SURPRISED ZLATKO IS GOING TO ERASE HER MEMORY

that android that says “whos the real monster” PLEASE MR CAGE MY NOSE IS SORE

connor just fucking breaks the window and jumps in alflskdjflskjfljsdljfkdsfljldsafskdf

putting hank under cold water sobers him up somehow

the game thinks it needs to spell out for me in actual letters on the screen that hank is suicidal despite the fact that you find him unconscious on the floor with alcohol and a gun AND he says he was playing russian roulette. 

connor petting sumo is cute but sumo looks like he’s from a ps2 game

markus magically develops the ability to “convert” androids so to speak. 

im telling you, he’s ra9

the whole eden club thing is very...icky

like the androids are literally put in tubes like wtf

the tracis have a relationship despite club policy of wiping memories every two hours

also im pretty sure they have the same face...?? why is this not addressed more 

hank hates androids but likes it when connor spares them?

kara, luther, and alice dont just stay in the car for the night

luther brings up that theres something off about alice but gets interrupted. this is not the first time it happens. it happens THREE TIMES in total before the reveal she’s an android

the jerrys break the windows like zombies and then are like “dont shoot we come in peace”

the carousel scene is cute but where did the power come from???

connor starts showing signs of deviancy but doesnt notice it??? and amandas just like “stop it” and does nothing about it saljdflsjdflsjkdf

markus does the fake phone call right in front of the person he’s calling

who brought the box up to the bathroom? was it the deviant that connor can interrogate???? explain pls

pick up the bag. carry the bag. put down the bag. open the bag. kill me. 

THEY GET OUT ONTO A WINDOW WASHING LIFT BUT THEN RAPPEL UP?????????????????

a giant screen that says rise as markus and north are going up the building

markus removes his skin for the broadcast (ew) to conceal his identity BUT IT REVEALS HIS SERIAL NUMBER THAT CONNOR LATER SCANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

north straight up wants to murder other androids for android freedom

no one finds simon on the roof unless connor goes up there

no one hears connor and the deviant fighting in the kitchen and no one hears connor calling out for help

rose is literally just 2038 harriet tubman

she compares what is happening to androids to what happened to black people in the past yet david cage expects me to believe this game isn’t about racism

kara believes that they will find refuge in canada because there are no android laws there, however the reason they dont have android laws is because CANADA HATES ANDROIDS JUST AS MUCH AS THE US

she has literally no reason to believe they’ll be able to survive in canada. theyd have to act like the cullens and move around all the time. 

ntm if androids and their parts aren’t being manufactured, if anything happens to kara, alice, or luther theyre fucked!

markus had to choose between two very black and white options: violence or pacifism. i have a HUGE problem with how this is done bc being peaceful results in the “good” ending while being violent results in the bad “ending 

(and for the record, going with a violent revolution can still result in freedom for androids. its just a LOT harder to keep everyone alive)

basically it completely misunderstands how real life oppression works and assumes that if a marginalized group is peaceful, public opinion will go up

thats not how it fucking works dipshit cage

kamski is literally just a weird combination of oscar isaac in ex machina and jared leto in blade runner 2049

like he’s left so ambiguous that you can’t even come to your own conclusion

connor can remark that chloe is pretty and seems sincere but doesnt question himself????

if you choose not to shoot chloe, you get nothing. you either have to replay the chapter and shoot her or look it up yourself. and im not fucking shooting her.

markus and north become “lovers” during a normal conversation 

seriously. when it happened my mom and i were like ???????????????

yet markus can’t romance simon despite having more chemistry

and on that topic why can’t kara romance luther???? they have a lot of chemistry too.

the freedom march. just. ugh.

like markus really leads a bunch of androids down a street shouting “EQUAL RIGHTS” lkjasldfjlakjfjldf

markus evolves to the point where he can just look at androids and convert them like what

north and josh clearly both have a death wish

if i have to hear “we were going to crack the case” one more time i will kill david cage myself. do cops even talk like that?

gavin just straight up tries to murder connor????

THEY START PUTTING ANDROIDS IN CAMPS?????????????????? AS IF THE REST OF THE GAME WASN’T BAD ENOUGH????????????????????????

kara finds out alice is an android and luther has to spell out all her feelings for her??? like why would she stop loving alice skalfsjdlfkjdlfj theyre both androids

the fact that connor even has a machine story line

carl just straight up dies while markus is venting about his oppression asdjfsjflskjflkejiofjeijfoejflkjsflsj

we dont get any kind of resolution to connor going deviant. he just suddenly is. how does he feel about it? who cares!

“ask us something only the real connor would know”

why is that human couple with the baby so upset about not getting out of detroit? theyre human. they’ll be fine. i feel no guilt in taking their tickets.

alice can arguably forgive todd as he explains he just wanted to prove he’s a good dad. boo hoo. he’s still a dick. 

connor can suddenly wake up androids too???? 

markus can really save the androids by kissing north or singing. 

like

that actually

happens

KILL ME

the president looks like hillary clinton but has a “was a celebrity with no political experience” trump like background

[teddy-feathers]

If you smack your child. Physically intimidate. Grab them too rough or force them to look at something physically...

You can't complain that they're not listening to you/ don't listen to you when you talk.

I just realized that despite appreciating every time my dad took the time to go over something and tell me what the fuck Id done wrong and why it was important - even if those were two to four hour lectures following loud rage tantrums on his part - the reason I did it again later, don't remeber what the hell we talked about, was basically zoning while trying to focus, have no clue days later about the whole thing is because

I'm waiting for the violence to start again.

I couldn't see/ find something obvious because I needed to keep my eyes and attention on him

I couldn't tell you what he was saying because even though he's speaking calmly now that doesnt take away from what happened earlier

I'm still upset about it even if I feel calm now or can laugh at jokes

Like it's not that talking didn't work with me - hell it worked really well just sometimes protecting myself meant choosing between "fuck ups" sometimes hoping you didn't get caught was the best you could do to deal with shit on your own.

Hell. Help has always seemed worse than doing it on my own BECAUSE help was so often treated like a punishment - sure my parents usually found out last minute but thats because I didnt want but was not allowed to refuse help ever.

I remeber distinctly in highschool my dad was reaching for something on a shelf while I was doing dishes - I saw him lift his hand out of the corner of my eye and flinched. He was very much I haven't smacked you upside the head in years - which looking back I dont know if thats true -

But it doesnt matter

You've trainned your kids into a threat response mindset.

It doesn't matter that it wasnt "hard" that I'm not hurt. Doesnt matter if grabbing my neck or shoulder and forcibly turning me to face whatever it was that I missed didn't hurt me. I was scared. I was upset. I wanted desperately to pacify you.

Kinda hard to focus on calm reasonable lectures after that so its not a big wonder that he had to repeat himself a lot when I was growing up

... My dad used to go on about how Id cry at the drop of a hat and make him the bad guy and...

I dont remember the exact science behind it but did you know your kids as infants all the way growing up largly adapt to you. They TRY and make it easier for you to take care of them. This breaks down into several... Parent handling traits. I think the acronym is SMART or something i only heard a little bit about it.

So like. I hated crying when upset but I did it alot. But I also could and can go from crying to laughing and totally "okay" five seconds later becauses not being okay was punished.

Not. Actually punished. Not grounded or yelled at. Just. Attitude, interpersonal conflict between parents, notice which made anxious....

Hell thinking about it - having Avpd is directly a response from my family. Both good and bad attention did not turn out ok it felt like.

Mom and dads arguments happened because of how dad acted but. Nobody likes screaming matches between parents. Violence can be words. And I was always good and understanding what they were fighting about and how itd circle back to me if it didnt start there.

I didn't get it exactly right. I knew mom would defend me to dad when I got in trouble only eventually that felt bad because I had done something wrong but that... Was never the issue. It was how my dad handled the situation.

And every argument came back to I was making the same mistakes or fuck ups telling the same lies whatever so obviously the only thing I "understood" was yelling and being spanked and smacks upside the head.

I didnt understand that. I just. Stopped doing anything besides reading. I was just cowed. I was afraid. And when you did speak instead of yelling or physical intimidation I was still afraid.

I wanted to listen but youd made it so I couldnt. I was a dumb kid and I learned a lot of my bad habits as a defense against you. Maybe I was a manipulative lying lazy child but I didn't make you the bad guy.

You saw your kid as a villain and then proceeded to treat them like one, make them into one, instead of dealing with your child as a child.

And you treated your wife like a child because she didnt agree with you, because if youte not going to be happy no matter what happens why not treat herself. If youre going to take away her right to make desicions by giving her like a child right and wrong answers she's not going to want to be invovled or participate or even bother trying to help you do responsible things and shes going to continue to do things to spite you.

You think youre being forced to be a bully. You think things are black and white and yours is the logical way and youre good at trapping people into either agreeing with you or being "wrong"

My Aunt and Dad are a lot a like and god almighty the Hyde family is fucked up.

They want to treat you like people but they dont know how and so they do this shit and still think theyre in the right. And we're judgmental as fuck and make our decision and expect the world to get in line.

Ffs I'm only now learning to shedd myself and my past I dont know how the fuck to help mom but looking back I can see she needs it now.