#vienes
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leregirenga · 2 months ago
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En realidad ya no me interesa si haces, deshaces, si vienes, vas, si duermes o no, si hay quien te calienta en las noches de frío, si ríes o lloras, si me extrañas o no, si sigues enamorado de mi o de alguien más, si aún recuerdas lo que vivimos o ya te da igual... Ya no me importa nada de ti, ni siquiera verte una vez mas. Todo se lo ha llevado el viento, aires nuevos soplaron y la brisa me despeina con la certeza de la felicidad y del amor propio. Hoy puedo decir segura que ya te supere totalmente. Leregi Renga
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Y si vienes yo estoy y si no también...
@teatro-magico-solo-para-locos
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ivduarter · 7 months ago
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Teoría de los viajes en el tiempo.
A ver si, con un poco de suerte al viernes se le cae la erre.
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gum-iie · 1 year ago
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centuries wept away
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radio-writes · 8 months ago
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Going on anon bc this is a bit messed up but can you write Alastor x reader where Alastor uses sex as a form of torture?
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Fuck your God and His Righteous Hand(s)
Synopsis: Hasn't Alastor always been such generous partner? Hasn't He always provided for you? Given you everything and anything you ever wanted? Except for your freedom of course.
The night you decide to run away from his graciousness, you find out just how generous he could be.
Warnings: noncon, forced relationship, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, physical harm to reader, degradation, smut, over stimulation, tentacles are used (I probably missed a lot, let me know)
Tags: Alastor x fem!reader; dead dove do not eat
MDNI
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Your heart beat loudly against your chest, your breath ragged and heavy. Branches and twigs snapped and broke and fell all around you as you ran.
Not that you could hear any of it over the overwhelming sound of static flooding your ears. 
As if the dark wasn't terrifying enough, you had to stumble through the woods with tears blurring your vision too. Arm stretched in front of you, swatting away vines in your path as you desperately tried to get away.
You had to get away.
You couldn't get away.
You could almost feel the ground shake beneath your feet. You could almost feel his breath that skimmed the back of your head. There was no use in running, but run you did anyway.
You kept running even when you felt his clawed fingers grab at your shirt; the fabric tearing easily.
You kept running even when you could hear his voice right by your ear. "I think it's in your best interest not to anger me any more, darling."
You couldn't keep running when a heavy, velvety tentacle wrapped around your ankle; your breath knocked out of you as you tumbled onto the forest floor.
Your hand outstretched, palm reaching into the darkness. It was a terrifying, unknown, and threatening darkness—but to you it still meant freedom.
That was the last clear thing you saw before you landed flat on your stomach, the weight of your failed escape weighing you down more than the dark shadow around your leg. 
He was laughing.
He was out of breath, panting almost as heavily as you were, but he was laughing.
You heard the crunch of leaves and twigs as he approached your collapsed form. No longer rushing, no longer frantic. He seemed to take his time as he walked towards you, now that he's sure you couldn't get away.
Still, the tentacle holding you down tightened—a warning not to try anything again.
Not that you could. The moment of rest allowed to you as you laid on the ground, made the pain and exhaustion of your body much too apparent for your liking. Your legs felt like led, the numerous scratches from who-knows-where all sung in a harmony of stinging pain.
Even when you knew you couldn't run anymore, your mind frantically whirled through ideas. You tried to think of something, anything, to keep away from the Radio Demon.
At least until his shoes finally came into your view; the red accents bright against the inky darkness. They stopped right by your head, and suddenly it felt too dangerous to even think.
You found the dirt and mud of the forest floor much more appealing than having to look Alastor in the eye, so you kept your head down. Your head shrunk into the ground as the man looked down on you.
"I must admit, I hadn't expected you to run." Alastor said, still a hint of laughter in his tone. Had you looked up then, you would have seen just how much of a mess you've made of the demon. His hand pushed his red hair back from his forehead, sweat trickled down the side of his neck. 
But it wasn't his unusual state of exhaustion that would have been shocking if you looked at him right now. No, what would have been surprising—what would have been unnerving— was the wild, desperate look in his glowing red eyes.
While you were scared, desperate to get away.
He was terrified, desperate to get you back.
The view of your small figure as you weaved through trees, dipping in and out of his sight had filled him with such cold, heavy dread.
Almost as much as the sight of your hand nearly meeting that of another demon's.
"Oh! But you're so filled of the unexpected today, aren't you, darling?" You could hear the spite in his tone, but you didn't dare raise your head.
You felt him step closer.
"I mean, I hadn't expected you to try to sell your soul to another demon, either." You cringed, lifting your arms over your ears as the static warped his voice terribly.
You felt a heavy weight on the back of your head. It rested there briefly, before it shoved you down further into the dirt. Your face pressed down into the mud, but you didn't dare fight back. You didn't dare move. The most reaction you allowed yourself was a small whimper of fear.
The sound fueled Alastor's rage, already barely kept under the surface of his smile. His eye twitched in annoyance. Why were you shaking? Why were you afraid? 
Shouldn't you be kissing the foot on your head right now? Shouldn't you be thanking him for saving you from making a terrible mistake? A soul as unique as yours would have been wasted on a demon like that. 
This ungrateful behavior, this attempt to leave him, just wouldn't do.
His foot left the back of your head, but it allowed no relief. The black tentacle wrapped around your leg swiftly yanked you up.
Your eyes widened in shock and your hands dug into the ground in an attempt to stay there. But it isn't a surprise that your flimsy resistance was easily broken through. The world soon turned into a dizzying blur of colors as you were lifted into the air. The trees floated from above and the sky was a muddy mess of leaves and roots, your arms hung limply above your head. The blood that now rushed to your head didn't help you in making much sense of what was happening.
But none of that mattered when your eyes finally met Alastor's.
As you were held up by your leg, upside down in the air, Alastor's usual wide smile looked like a snarling frown. His narrowed eyes did nothing to help the fear that quickly ate its way through you.
It was silent for a moment. Tension so thick in the air that you found it so terribly difficult to breathe.
But when he finally spoke, you thought to yourself how you actually preferred the suspenseful quiet.
"Have I not been the perfect partner?" Alastor asked. The static over his voice now eerily back to the usual amount. His tone was cheery, light, like this was just another early morning chit chat over breakfast between the two of you.
You couldn't bring yourself to speak.
The black appendage holding you up tightened, your skin already beginning to bruise. Although, it seemed that was the only indicator of Alastor's true mood, as the demon remained composed in front of you.
"Have I not given you everything you wanted?" He asked as he brought you closer to him.
When you didn't respond he brought his clawed hand up to your face. 
You flinched, feeling his cold skin against yours, fearing that he'd tear right through your flesh. 
But his touch was gentle. His fingers softly brushed away the mud and grime from your cheek. 
"I've bought you everything you liked. I've protected you. Fed you." His voice was so soft, soothing. Like an old radio show you would have listened to while you drifted off to a restful slumber. 
"I've even fucked you through your pathetic little heats." His claws dug into your skin. Blood gushed down your face, the scarlet liquid stung your eye even as you clenched it closed. 
"I've spared useless, disgusting sinners on your request. I've played nice for you. I've given you everything." His hand shifted from your cheek to your neck, his grip tight, threatening.
The static over his voice once again horrid as it deafened you. His eyes, now drowned in black, narrowed into a glare at your form.
Your hands flew to your throat, pulling at Alastor's fingers. "Please, I'm sorry, Al!" You begged as you struggled. Your body flailed and squirmed as he held you above him, looking almost like a fish torn from the sea, desperate to breathe.
"Oh you're sorry?" Alastor's head titled to one side as he watched you. "That absolutely changes everything then!" He said cheerily, mockingly.
The tentacle holding you up loosened out of nowhere, sending you down into the mud for a second time that night.
You managed to keep yourself up by your arms as you greedily heaved in air back into your lungs. Your head still spun from the rush of blood, and you felt like you were about to vomit out whatever flesh Alastor made you eat earlier that day.
You felt something at your chin—Alastor's microphone it seemed—and it tilted your face towards him. Your teary eyes met his cheerful ones, and your chest tightened. It's been a long time since you've even stepped outside, but you now felt more trapped than you ever have before.
He bent down, lowering his face closer to yours as he smiled down at you. 
"Since it seems like I've neglected my dear darling partner for so long that they've decided to seek attention elsewhere, I think it's best to spend some nice quality time together. Don't you think that'd be nice, sweetheart?" Alastor's voice held no threats. Promises. Only promises.
You shook your head no before he even finished talking. A desperate shaking hand reached up to him. "No, please. Al. Anywhere but the radio tower again. Please."
"Don't worry, doll. This time will a bit different." He assured.
You moved quickly, hurriedly, scrambling to your knees ready to beg at his feet. But before you could even part your lips to start, Alastor had both of you melted into shadows.
You re-materialize in the one place that haunted your dreams. The one place in Hell that truly, actually, did feel like hell to you.
Your blood felt frozen as you remained on the floor. Eyes wide in fear as you stared at the control panel.
Alastor turned his back to you, humming cheerfully, nonchalantly, as he made his way towards the main seat. "There's no need to look so alarmed," He said, you could almost hear the way his eyes rolled at your stupid expression. "We won't be having any special guests for this broadcast."
You finally tore your eyes away from the contraptions. Your gaze landing on Alastor's wide back as he slowly removed his coat. "You...you won't be torturing some poor soul?" You asked confused—and admittedly a little hopeful.
You couldn't count the horrible days he had made you sit and watch and listen as he took his sweet time tearing souls apart. How he joyously broadcasted the tortured screams for his Hell's entertainment.
Alastor's grin widened, stretched just a tad bit too far, before he turned his head to look back at you.
"Oh," Heavy static morphed his voice once more. "I didn't say that."
You didn't have time to react before his tentacles sprouted from his back, his inner shirt ripping to make way for them. They grabbed at your limbs, slithering around to get a tight hold as they pulled you to him.
A scream ripped from your throat at the sheer suddenness of it, and it made Alastor's heart leap in his chest. Oh how he loved those adorable reactions of yours.
"That is delightful! But do save your voice, dear. I do have to start us off first," He said gleefully as he turned around to fiddle with the controls.
You heart sunk. Eyes wide as the realization hit you. He wasn't going to force you to listen to someone being tortured. 
"Alastor, wait—"
"Why hello, you wayward sinners! Hope everyone's having a wonderfully hellish time right now, because boy do I have quite the treat to make your evenings even better!" Alastor spoke into the mic, his eyes gone black as he held your gaze. "Yes, indeed, this one is going to be very special." 
"Al, please—" You bit your lip, cutting off whatever pleas you were going to throw at him.
One of his tentacles pressed against your clothed mound as the others held you in the air. It quickly worked its way under your bottoms, ripping through it easily and exposing you to Alastor's lazy gaze. 
"Don't, please. I'm so sorry, Al. I won't do it again, I promise, please." You whispered, not wanting all of Hell to hear how you begged for mercy.
"What's that, darling? I'm afraid you'll have to be a little louder for our lovely, horrid, listeners." Alastor mocked, just as the tentacle between your legs started to slide between your folds. Another made quick work of your already torn shirt.
You grit your teeth and clenched your eyes closed. Stubbornly, you refused to make a single sound from Alastor's ministrations.
But you know how this ends.
You're hardly the first soul he had broken during a broadcast.
You, of all people, knew that well.
Another one of his appendages slithered its way to your core. It teased at the entrance, pushing, testing your hole.
"I hope everyone has a lovely time!" You hear Alastor speak to his listeners, just as a scream ripped through your lips.
You weren't nearly wet enough to take him. Your walls resisted, but not enough for his strength. The black shadow pushed its way deep into you, others coiled at your legs to spread them apart. One remained by your clit, lazily flicking along. 
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You cried as Alastor fucked his tentacle deep into you. The harsh thrusts sending your ample chest bouncing.
Alastor didn't respond, he rarely ever does to his victims. He preferred to let the song of their anguish play uninterrupted. But he did find himself paying more attention than he usually did to the way your body reacted to him.
His gaze locked at the way his black shadow disappeared into your slick hole. How it came back to light drenched in your juices, only to push back in harsher. How your little pussy stretched wide around his tentacle to accommodate its size.
His eyes traveled further up, watching as he wrapped one tentacle around your breast and squeezed. A lovely horrified sound coming from your lips from his actions.
He watched as you sobbed, attention fully on him. Only on him. And he couldn't deny the rather unfamiliar heat the pooled in his stomach at that fact.
The tentacle at your clit moved faster, pressing down just the slightest bit more at that little bud. You tried your damndest to silence the screams from your throat, but as your mouth fell open, you could only do so much.
The coil in your gut snapped easily. Alastor tightening his hold on you as he kept your spasming form in the air for his entertainment.
Your juices flowed down his dark appendages as it kept up the pace. Tears forming in your eyes as they gave you no reprieve, no time recover.
You fight against his hold, aching to close your thighs and catch your breath but the dark shadows merely pulled them apart wider. You pulled at you arms, wanting to push away the damned things from your core but you were merely held back the same way.
"Wait, please, stop." You were barely able to form a coherent sentence. The tentacle inside you opting to curl just the right amount to hit that soft, perfect spot inside you with every thrust. That spot that Alastor knew drove you wild when he fucks you through your heat, after a lot of begging on your end, at least.
You clenched down on it, that being the only thing you could think of that you could still do to slow this down. It unsurprisingly did nothing but make you feel more of each drag and pull against your walls.
Another orgasm is stolen from you as a tentacle began to grind itself up and down your sloppy slit, drenching itself in your slick as it attempted to join the one already fucking you. Your screams broadcasted for all of Pride Ring to hear.
It doesn't stop. He doesn't stop. His dark shadows held you still, fucking into your cervix without mercy, playing with your clit, your breasts. Pulling yet another sloppy orgasm from you.
"No more," You heaved. Alastor's assault seeing no end near. "I can't. Al, please." You begged.
You craned your neck over to look back at the demon. You find his gaze no longer on you or your body, but on the papers in front of him. His script. 
He was idly jotting down notes, chin rested on the palm of his hand and a lazy smile on his face. He almost looked bored, but the twitch of his ear as you called out his name showed you he was still paying you some attention. 
"Alastor, please," You tried again. "I am sorry. I won't do it again. I won't leave you again." You sobbed.
The tentacle inside you pulled out to your brief relief, only for it to slam harshly, deeper back into you. It's pace at breakneck speed that even with the tight hold around your limbs, your body was moved with every push and pull. 
"Oh, I'm sure you won't, darling." He finally replies to your pleas, although he didn't even glance your way. He continued correcting his notes, your sweet begging made for a wonderfully sweet background song. "Because why would you ever leave someone as generous as me?"
He ripped orgasm after orgasm from you. Your release dripped and drenched the floor of his radio tower. You begged til your throat was raw for some reprieve, for some forgiveness. But Alastor went about his way around the studio. Fixing this and that. Barely paid you any mind.
It was only when you've stopped pulling against his hold. When your legs had gone slack in the air, and your screams faded into whimpers did Alastor finally approach the control panel again.
"Wasn't that just darling! A wonderful performance, if I do say so myself," He laughed into his microphone. "I'm sure you lewd folks enjoyed yourself as much as our star of the night here, so make sure to keep an ear out for my next broadcast!"
His eyes finally land on your exhausted body. Your chest heaved with every labored breath as Alastor's tentacles finally slowly pulled out of you. A wet shlop of your juices dripping out as it did. 
He slowly lowered you onto the ruined floor, and your dazed eyes locked with his.
"There will definitely be more of where that came from." He said, less of his usual cheer. His tone lower. Threatening—no, promising.
You didn't move—you couldn't move—from the floor. You simply watched as Alastor shut down his broadcast and took his time straightening out and cleaning up his work station. He was humming cheerfully, seeming to be in a much better mood than when the night had begun.
When he was finally satisfied, you watched as he walked to where you were, stopping by your feet as he smiled down at you.
"Well, you've definitely seen better days." A laugh track followed his mockery. 
"I'm sorry." You heaved out. You hoped this was the end of it. You hoped he would just throw you back and lock you in his room again. Anything but stay in this wretched radio tower. "I'm yours. I won't try to run anymore."
Alastor chuckled at your response, moving to rest his cane against the wall before he reached up to his neck. He slowly loosened his bowtie and unbuttoned his shirt. "Oh I know you know that." He said waving off your words as if they didn't matter.
He lowered himself over you, his towering figure blocking out what little light you had. "But I'm afraid I need a bit of a reminder about who you belong to." 
His hand made quick work of his trousers, pulling his hardened cock free.
His claws were at your waist and they pulled your limp body closer to him. Not that you offered any resistance.
"You can do one more for me can't you darling?" He wasn't really asking.
You can't. But you nod your head anyway.
He pushed into you easily. Your previous releases coated him and allowed a slicker entry. 
Your back arched despite exhaustion, and Alastor drank in your pained expression. "There's a good girl. Always ready to ruin herself for her lover." You heard him say. "Don't worry, I won't make this long."
But of course that was a lie. He pulled back so slowly, revering in the way your drenched walls felt around him; how they clenched around his cock like how he saw them do around his tentacle. Then he thrusted himself back harshly into your sloppy hole, forcing what little sound you could still make out from your lips.
He fucked into you, slowly, deeply, maddeningly. Making sure you both felt each and every drag of his heavy cock.
He wasn't one to crave sex as much as most of hell, but when it was with you—his precious partner, he had to admit he didn't hate the sensations all too much. And if it meant reminding you who was in control, if it meant making you owe him, making you dependent on him, making you crave him, then it was all the more enjoyable to see you fucked out and speared on his dick.
One of his hands made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you up into his lap. He fucked up into you as your head lolled to the side, struggling to keep your body upright.
Alastor drank in your expression. Your glazed over eyes, the tear stains that smeared through the mud and blood along your cheeks, the drool dripping from your split lips. Yes, this is what you deserved for even daring to leave him. This is what you needed to be reminded on just how good a partner he is.
He wrapped a tentacle around your hips, keeping you steady as he pounded his cock into you. His free hand now moved between you, to your clit.
Your hips spasmed as he drew quick circles on the bud, but you fought the instinct to squirm away. You wouldn't leave him. 
You can't leave him.
You know that now.
Alastor's grin widened when he noticed your actions. "There's a good girl." He purred again, leaning down to your neck to lick up your skin.
"Let me feel you cum on my cock now, darling. Let me feel how much you want me to fill you up." He whispered, his sweet voice right by your ear as he pressed down harder on your clit.
You whined, tears pouring from your eyes once more as he tore yet another orgasm from your weakened body.
Your fluids drenched his dick, soiling his pants as you came around him. Alastor all but tore your skin as he gripped you tight. His own pace finally picked up.
You felt him twitch inside you, before the hot feeling of his seed soothed your battered cunt. 
"Tell me, would that scum have let you cum like this?" Alastor whispered in your ear. He held you tightly, his head still at the crook of your neck.
"No," You responded weakly. You felt him twitch inside you again.
You tried your hardest not to think back to the poor sinner, ripped limb from limb in a blink of an eye. Their body likely still stomped down into the mud of the forest floor.
"Would any other wretched soul be able to give you what I give you?" Alastor asked again. He playfully nipped at your ear.
"No," You responded again.
"So who do you think can treat you, treasure you, best, my dear?" He pulled back, his smug smile loomed over you as he held your chin for you to keep his gaze.
"You, Alastor. Only you can treat me this good." The words were bitter in your mouth
You hadn't sold him your soul. And he would never ask for it.
But you were his and his alone, nonetheless.
"And don't you ever forget it." He mused, pushing you back down to the floor as he began to fuck himself inside of you again. His previous release slowly pushed out with every slow thrust.
"Be still for me, darling," He whispered sweetly. "Let me have my fill of you for now." 
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I don't usually write smut but this request sent me haywire. Hope I didn't disappoint, anon! I loved your demented request ♪
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lizardkingeliot · 3 months ago
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I wanted to grieve alone. But he would not allow it.
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pasajeroblanco · 2 years ago
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thecaptainjacksparrow · 5 days ago
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#LOUSTAT: i wanted him dead. i wanted him all to myself
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nadiuu · 2 months ago
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El ángel caído – Capítulo 4: Mihael [Mello] Keehl
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pygmeys · 7 months ago
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Argentumblr hice esto para ustedes..,,. ..
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leregirenga · 1 year ago
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De noche vienes y haces tuyo mi insomnio...
De noche vienes y el alma se achica y el corazón palpita más fuerte...
De noches vienes y me robas besos de esta boca que pide los tuyos y no estás,
De noche vienes y mis ganas se acumulan y tu cuerpo está lejano, distante...
De noche vienes y el amor me acongoja y la ternura se duerme solitaria...
De noche vienes... Pero no estás a mi lado...
¡Triste realidad! Jamás volverás...
Leregi Renga
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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 month ago
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Writing Notes: Kill Adverbs
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Adverbs - modifiers. They describe verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. They answer the following questions:
How? She sings. How? She sings badly. Where? He arrived. Where? He arrived here. When? She started the job. When? She started the job yesterday. How Much? He was tired. How much? He was very tired. How Often? She cries. How often? She cries frequently.
Adverbs in your novel must be minimal.
Adverbs are necessary for the English language and have a rightful place as one of the eight parts of speech.
In literature, some adverbs are less desirable than others.
Any adverb that ends in -ly has no place in your novel.
You know, words like viciously, beautifully, coolly, tremendously, truthfully, desperately, abruptly, helplessly, clearly, and the list goes on.
It’s hard to get rid of -ly words because they’re embedded into our everyday vernacular. They are conversational. And that’s precisely why you shouldn’t use them in your novel.
Adverbs with -ly tend to slow the pace.
They also tell what’s happening. They don’t show.
You can either say “angrily” or you could show the character’s eyes narrowing by your descriptive text.
Don’t say she was happy, show her smile and let the reader pick up on the contextual clues.
Your reader is smart.
Paint the picture with words and let them come to the right conclusion.
Pick every word. Be sure that the word doesn’t cheat the reader by telling them what happens instead of showing them the action.
"I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs" —Stephen King
Source
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grapefruit-personified · 4 months ago
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I want Jessie to look at me the way she just looked at Viens
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half-lightl · 1 year ago
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Jacob Anderson as Ryan in Skins (2012)
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radio-writes · 8 months ago
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What is Left of Me Without You?
Synopsis: Your husband didn't love you, not yet at least—that's what he told you. First, he wanted to see just how much you loved him.
Warnings: dubcon, smut, oral - m receiving, sex, abusive relationship, heavy manipulation, gaslighting, some misogyny, angst
Tags: married, one sided romantic love, Alastor x Reader, female!reader, reader is somewhere on the ace spectrum too
MDNI
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To everyone in your town, you and your husband were the picture perfect couple.
Alastor, the bright, charming, down-right intoxicating radio host, walking down the street with you, his absolute darling of a wife on his arm.
Smiling, giggling, sharing hushed whispers. It looked as if the two of you were lost in your own lovely little world.
Even behind closed doors, Alastor proved himself to be the perfect gentleman. You never wanted for anything, never grieved, never felt lonely. 
If you so much as glanced at something by a storefront, Alastor would have it tied with a bow at the foot of your bed.
If anything caused you grief, or even inconvenienced you the slightest bit, Alastor would have dealt with it by the end of the day. 
If you ever felt lonely, well...
You supposed you didn't really have the right to feel lonely. Alastor was always there, wasn't he?
You woke up to the sound of your husband's humming. His smooth voice glided over each note skillfully as you peeled your eyes open.
The sight before you wasn't anything new: the other half of the bed empty and already fixed up. 
You turned to sit up, and found Alastor in front of your vanity as he straightened his bowtie. He caught your eye through the reflection, and his smile broadened.
The greater half of New Orleans would probably kill to be in your place right now. Seated in a lavish bedroom, your famous, dapper husband walking to your side of the bed to place a kiss on your hand. 
"Well good morning, darling! Don't you look adorable in this state." His sweet words greeted you.
It was there again, that odd feeling that sunk in your gut. What was that?
"Good morning, my dear." You greeted him back, ignoring whatever it was. A tired smile graced your lips as you peered up at him. "Headed to work already?" You asked him. 
"Why, of course! Who else would wake up New Orleans and tell all those sleepy bones to shake a leg and hop to work?" He struck a pose, hand on his chest. "Only yours truly, of course!" 
His warm chestnut eyes met yours through the lenses of his glasses. You let out a tired, soft laugh as you glanced away to hide the heat that rose to your cheeks.
You adored this man—every single bit of him—so you found it hard not to get flustered over him, even after all this time. Hell, you were still counting your lucky stars that he chose to marry you of all people.
Why? Well, you tried not to ask yourself that.
He'd already given you his answer, hadn't he?
Alastor placed a chaste kiss to your cheek, quickly pulling you out of your thoughts before they could spiral. You looked back at your husband as he said something about having to run off or risk being late.
You remained sat in your bed, smiling and watching with hearts in your eyes as your darling husband waved on his way out of your room. 
"Looking forward to what you'll cook up this evening, sweetheart!" Alastor grinned, right before the door shut behind him.
And it was there again.
The gnawing feeling was coming by more and more frequently now. What was it?
Was it actually loneliness? But that would be so silly, wouldn't it?
Your husband didn't love you, but he trusted you. And that should be enough for now.
At least, that's what he said when he proposed.
You and Alastor knew each other for a very long time, and basically all of New Orleans knew you took a very strong liking to him.
Alastor had raised the proposition back then. You remember how he had explained that it would be a good thing for both your sakes. How you'd get to be with someone you loved oh so much, and how convenient it would be for him to finally get marriage out of the way. And even more so with a cherished friend like you!
Sure, you hesitated back then; unsure if you really wanted to marry a man who didn't love you the way you did him. But he sung you praises, he sung you promises.
You were darling, you were beautiful, you were smart, you were kind. How could he not grow to love you in your marriage? How could he resist falling for a such a doll who was offering him her heart?
So you said yes. 
Because you loved Alastor with every bit of your heart, but he simply just wasn't ready to love you back yet.
And he was such a lovely man who never failed to shower you with affection. Maybe you were just asking for too much—fretting over such small things—for you to feel upset about waking up without your husband beside you. 
And—and he was a radio host, after all. Of course he had to get to work early.
You really didn't need to spare it another second of thought.
No, what you really needed to focus on was how you could help your dear, hardworking husband.
You shook your head and slapped your hands softly against your cheeks. You've got to knock that annoying feeling loose. It was all so pointless.
With a more determined look, you got up from the bed. You neatly fixed the sheets and pillows, taking extra care to make sure every single wrinkle was smoothened out.
You silently ran over the list of tasks you had to do today.
Obviously there's cleaning and making sure the house was in order. It would be a real shame if Alastor came home to an untidy space. He's already out working late for both of you, the least you could do was make sure he had a clean home to rest in.
You ought to make time to drop by the market for some fresh meat to cook up. Alastor would surely be famished after work, right? And your mama always did say that the quickest way to a man's heart was through his stomach. 
You could also drop by the tailors and get the hem of one of your Alastor's dress shirts straightened out. He hasn't said anything about it, but he's avoided using that particular one for a while now. You knew the uneven stitches had to be bugging him.
Oh, you really needed to pass by a locksmith, too. That dang lock on the basement door still had not budged no matter what Alastor did, and you just could not find the key anywhere.
You've been waving the issue off for a while now—Alastor was right in saying there's no real rush to it, nothing really important down there, anyway—but it'd be nice to have the extra storage available to you again.
You let out a huffed breath and placed your hands on your waist. You held your head high and ready. "Right. Let's get this show started."
It was a busy day, as it always was for you. The hours ticked by as quickly as loose sand through an open palm.
You didn't have time to feel lonely, not when you were too busy scrubbing with all your might against a particularly stubborn grease stain on your sink. 
When the house was finally all neat, you got yourself ready to head out. Hair done, just a touch of make up, and a rather modest dress—at least as modest as Alastor had bought you. That man did lean towards the more finer tastes.
You felt it was a bit much just to do a few errands, but you were the sweet wife of a local personality. You had an image to uphold. You had to make sure you didn't do anything to tarnish your darling husband's reputation. 
This was just part of the whole package, you supposed. Nothing that can be done about it.
Heading out into the afternoon sun, you painted on a bright smile for all the kind people that greeted you. Cheery, happy, friendly. Oh, but not too friendly.
Meek, quiet, all prim and proper. The makings of a fine lady worthy of her spot by the dapper radio host's side.
You dropped your husband's shirt off by the tailors first. They seemed to be more than happy to rush your request once you let slip who it belonged to. They promised they could have it ready in just a few hours. You thanked them softly, and noted how they were such jolly workers, laughing even as you left the store.
You dropped by the locksmith before the market, not really wanting to carry out a bunch of raw meat as you went about your day.
The nicely dressed man was a bit—difficult to talk to. He seemed to think you had no idea what a door even was. He had just started explaining how you open a doorknob when you felt your cheeks start to strain from how hard you worked to maintain a smile.
"Oh dear me, would you look at the time," You politely cut him off, pretending to be shocked at how late into the day it was. "I am so sorry, sir, but my husband should be coming home any minute now and I haven't even started on dinner!" 
A lie. Alastor always came home late.
The man raised a brow at you in disbelief. Not that he didn't buy your act, but more judgmental that a woman would be so careless as to forget to take care of her spouse.
You ignore the look he gave you, keeping your shy smile on. "Maybe you could just sell me the tools. I could get my husband to work on it."
"Sure thing, sweetheart," The man shrugged. "I'll get what you need in a split, so you can run back and make a quick stew at the very least."
He ended up selling you the tools, along with a bunch of other needless things, with the assurance that your husband would definitely need them all.
You bit your tongue as you smiled and thanked him.
Why on earth would you need a box of nails and a bottle of glue to split a lock open?
But you really did not have it in you to stand in that shop any longer.
Besides, how would it look if the papers caught whiff of Alastor's sweet little wife yelling and lecturing a local shop keeper.
You couldn't burden your husband like that.
You hurriedly rushed to the market before they could close, buying the best cut of meat they still had at this hour, before you made your way back to the tailors to check on the progress.
The workers snickered as you entered, but you really didn't think much of it until they pulled out the dress shirt you dropped off.
A large, nasty stain of lord-knows-what sat right at the center of what used to be its pristine white color.
Your smile strained badly. "Oh dear, what on earth happened?" You asked with feigned worry. You already knew what happened.
"Afraid we spilled a bit of lunch on it, sweetie." One of the ladies explained, her companions giggling behind her. "Couldn't be avoided, unfortunately."
You felt your eye twitch.
"I'm sure a lovely doll like you could find a way to fix it. Wouldn't want that hotty husband of yours to leave your pretty face for something like this, would ya?" She went on.
"You better run, though. I heard the cleaners were planning on closing up early today." Another bitch woman spoke up.
Had you been any less horrified at your husband's ruined shirt, you would have been fuming.
You quickly took the shirt and paid, rushing out before you did anything stupid. Like cry.
Oh Alastor's rivals would have a field day twisting a story like that.
As you left the ladies called out "We did straighten the hem, darling!" And a more snarky, muttered comment, "Although, you'd think someone as handsome as Alastor could find a gal that could do something that simple herself."
The walk back home was probably the most tiring part of it all. Having to keep your back straight, your smile lovely, your voice friendly. Never letting the kind people know anything was wrong.
Because you knew those kind people were all itching to have any reason to gossip about your husband.
And you just couldn't have that.
Your shoulders finally sagged as you closed the door to your house. Your smile dropped immediately as you leaned against the door in exhaustion.
You stuffed the ruined shirt in your bag, thinking maybe your can throw it out later on, but you just knew Alastor would notice it was missing. He won't be happy with you, that's for sure.
Never mind that you've bent over backwards for the better half of a year to cater to him. Never mind that you've hidden all your faults under the rug. Never mind that you've been absolutely devoted to him even before your marriage.
You had to be perfect.
But you weren't. And you knew that. It seemed every other woman in New Orleans knew that. And now with the ruined shirt, Alastor would know that too.
He'll see you as less.
It's there again, that's stupid heavy feeling in your gut. Whatever it was.
You sighed in defeat. If you couldn't get the shirt fixed, maybe you could at least make sure he had a good meal to come home to? Maybe that could make him overlook your faults this time.
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You burnt it. Somehow,—despite normally being an amazing cook every other time besides tonight—you managed to burn dinner.
You put your hands over your face, groaning in frustration, just absolutely exasperated. Why on earth was everything going wrong today. Why couldn't you just do one thing right? Why couldn't you just be of some help to Alastor? Why—
You lifted your face from your hands, attempting to slow your breathing. Your eyes glanced around your ruined kitchen and your burnt dinner, and that stupid shirt peaking out of your bag, and...the door to the basement? 
Right! Maybe there could still be one thing you could do right today.
You wiped your hands over your apron, immediately scrambling for the tools you bought earlier today. 
While you weren't the smartest when it came to these things, surely you could figure something out to try to loosen the lock.
You've watched your gentle husband fiddle around with the lock many times before, never opting to break the thing. You suspected he didn't want to look in any way violent in front of you, but you always thought it was so needlessly complicated.
You grabbed a hammer from the pile of junk and made your way towards the basement door. You tested the lock's strength with a few, rather light, taps of the hammer head. It didn't feel that sturdy. You thought you could definitely break it with a bit of force on your end.
You gripped the handle with both hands and brought the hammer down on it.
Once. The sound of metals clashing echoed in your house
Twice. You had to do at least this today.
Thrice. You can't be useless to him.
You smashed the hammer down onto the lock one more time and the battered thing fell to floor. 
Your eyes widened, lips spreading into grin out of relief.
Thank heavens, you managed something today. Alastor would be glad to hear this, at least. 
You bent over, picking up the fallen lock from the floor.
A weight pressed against you from behind.
Startled out of your wit, you stood up straight, just in time for whoever it was to flatten your body right against the basement door.
"What a lovely sight that was." You hear Alastor's voice right by your ear.
His head found home where your shoulder and head met. His nose trailed up against your skin as he breathed you in.
A gasp escaped your parted lips as you feel his hands squeeze the flesh of your hips harshly.
"Alastor?" You were partly dazed, confused what was happening.
His hips pressed against yours at the sound of his name from your mouth, and you all but recoil.
Alastor was rarely handsy, and that was fine by you. You actually realized that you much preferred it that way. Alastor's love being the only thing you ever really wanted from him.
Moments like these have always caught you off guard.
Because your husband knew that. He knew you weren't comfortable with being intimate. He knew you'd much rather have him just sit by you. He knew you weren't one to jump his bones.
And Alastor normally respected that.
"What a naughty little doll you are," Alastor's breath hot against your skin. "Welcoming a man home all bent over, presenting yourself." He whispered.
Your eyes widened, attempting to turn to face him, but his body kept yours pinned to the door.
"Baby, no. I," Your breathing had gone a bit ragged. "I was just picking up this lock here."
You raised your hand, showing the broken, battered lock in your grip. "I finally managed to open the stubborn thing." You tried to smile up at him over your shoulder, expecting praise.
Alastor's eyes stayed on the lock for a second too long you think, before his hand circled your wrist and yanked your arm behind your back. His swift hands made your other arm follow after it immediately.
The ache in your limbs, the grip he had on you, the shock of it all made the lock tumble right out of your grasp.
Alastor let out a hum of disappointment. "That's a real shame, sweetheart. I thought you were finally opening up to me." He said, his voice still filled with mirth. "Could have really used it tonight, too."
You felt him ground his hips against your clothed ass. His half hard cock evident against you.
He used one hand to keep your arms where they were, the other made its way to caress up your torso. His large palm trailing past your breasts, ending up by your soft cheeks.
Contrasting with the ones that held you still, his fingers were gentle against your face. His fingertips barely ghosted over your skin.
"I had a rather rough day at work, you see. Could you blame a man for wanting a little comfort from his wife?" He whispered.
The words hung in the air. Your lips unable to deny him, but unable to agree all the same.
A heartbeat passes, and suddenly you were free. Alastor stepped back from you, your body relaxing at the absence of his towering figure. 
"But what kind of ruffian would I be to force a lady to do that against her will," Alastor said, his tone rather carefree.
You turned around to finally face him, only to see him looking else where.
Your eyes followed his line of sight and you noticed the ruined shirt, pulled out of the bag, sitting right next to a burnt dinner, all framed by a horribly messy kitchen.
Alastor looked back at you, his charming smile ever present. "I'm sure you excel at all the other aspects of being a wife, anyway." He says, as if he hadn't just seen the failure you've made of your day.
He began to walk away, and your hand reached out before you could even think. Almost as if on reflex. Almost as if it's what you had to do.
You meekly pulled him back. His eyes watched you, almost expectantly, as you cupped your palms against his cheeks, and invited him down to meet you.
Your lips brushed chastely against his as he let out a satisfied hum.
You pulled away just enough to speak, your eyes looking up at him as your breaths mixed. "What...what can I do for you, my love?"
Alastor's smile stretched, his lips dipping down to meet yours again for a second time. His hand quickly found its way to the small of your back, heavy as he ushered you out of the kitchen.
"I think that's better discussed in the bedroom, darling." He purred against your ear.
You swallowed thickly against your tightening throat. 
Normally Alastor's hands on you were cherished, but you wanted nothing more than to squirm away from his hold right then. You knew where this was heading, but it just was not something you ever found appealing.
But you could do it for Alastor, right? You have done it for him before, anyway. 
Even if you didn't particularly enjoy it, at least you'd be satisfying your husband. At least you'd be close to him. At least you'd be useful to him.
Alastor, like the chivalrous gentleman he is, opened the door of your bedroom for you as he lead you in. You heard the click of the lock behind you, right before you were quickly tossed onto your bed.
You squealed as your felt your body bounce against the soft sheets. Your dress bunched up your thighs as you adjusted your legs.
Alastor stood at the foot of your bed, working his bowtie off with nimble fingers. "Darling, why so tense? It's only me." He says, his voice almost soothing.
But it was there again. That annoying feeling. It seems heavier than ever.
Was it really loneliness? 
How could you even be lonely now, when the man you love was waiting to mount you.
"I'm just nervous, that's all, darling," You managed to say honestly. "It hurt quite a bit last time."
Your eyes watched closely as Alastor's hand made quick work of the buttons in his vest, shrugging it off and placing his knee on the bed. His eyes trained on your reactions all the while, enjoying the flicker of uncertainty on your face as you bit your lip.
"I know a way we can ease that," He said. He reached out his hand to you, inviting you to take it.
Your shaky hand didn't hesitate. Because you'd do anything for this man.
You loved Alastor, so much, with your whole body, but he seemed to revel a bit too much in that knowledge.
He knew you could never deny him. So when your hand was in his, he pulled you closer, watching with delight as you awkwardly crawled to the end of your bed.
"Care for a box lunch, darling? It'd hurt less if we're a lot more slick." Alastor teased, chuckling as you looked at him with confusion.
The gears seemed to click in your head when one of his hand rested on your hair, the other worked his belt off.
"Oh," Was pretty much all you managed to squeak out. It was definitely not what you expected. 
You hadn't noticed that you tried to pull away until Alastor applied a bit more pressure on your scalp to keep you still. 
He pulled his heavy cock free from its confines. He ran his hand over it, lazily pumping the hardening member in his palm as his gaze was transfixed on you.
Your wide eyes watched every movement of his hand. Panicked, you seemed. Not unlike many panicked does he's shot down in the past.
Not unlike many panicked other things he's felt lose life under his hands.
"Something wrong?" Alastor mused, head tilting as he watched you flinch at the sight of his dick twitching.
Your eyes finally pulled away from your husband's groin, looking up to meet the man's lidded gaze behind his glasses. "We haven't really tried that before and," You bit your lip, unsure on how to proceed. "It just seems a bit deviant." 
"Well then it's lucky we're both in such safe company then, isn't it?" The hand in your hair loosened it's grip, opting to softly comb through your hair. The slight tension in your shoulders melted away. "I've been rather curious about what all fuss was about, didn't really have a partner I trusted enough before to try, though." 
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. He saw how bad you messed up today, didn't he? He saw how miserably you failed at the simplest of tasks. But he still trusted you? He still trusted you enough to do something as unorthodox as this?
"I suppose I've been rather curious about it myself." You smiled up at him nervously, your hand reached out by your own choice to hold his hefty cock in your palm.
You were lying.
He knew you were lying and he loved it.
"Then open up, my dear." You heard him say, gently guiding your head closer to his crotch.
You decided looking up at your husband was easier than watching your own hand pleasure his shaft. You kept his gaze as you parted your lips, letting your soft tongue meet the skin of his head before wrapping your lips around it.
There was a rather salty taste in your mouth, a bit of his precum leaking onto your tongue. You tried not to cringe at the taste, choosing instead to focus on the way Alastor's brows furrowed when you took more of him into your warm, obedient mouth.
"How do I taste, darling?" He teased, knowing you couldn't answer. 
He looked down at you expectantly. Not knowing what else you could do, you began to slowly bob your head, keeping your lips wrapped around his shaft.
You took your time, slowly letting more of him past your lips each time you sank your head back down. Eyes trained on your husband's face, part of you wondering if he'd praise you if you did a well enough job. But it seemed your efforts offered far too little friction for Alastor's patience.
His hips started moving against your face. Softly at first, but he soon began to push at your head to meet his thrusts.
The head of his hard cock nudged your throat and you choked. Your hands immediately went to his hips, nails digging in with how hard you held onto him. 
Tears forms in your eyes as you looked up at your husband, and your heart immediately filled with panic when you were met with a look of disappointment. 
"Hmm. Seems this might have been too much for you to handle." He sighed, finally pulling you off his dick.
A string of saliva stayed between the head of his cock and your lips as you coughed and gasped for air. 
But even as your jaw throbbed, you went to reach your hand out and tried to lean back in towards his dick. "No, no. I can do it, I promise," You said hurriedly.
"There's no need to force yourself, my darling wife," Alastor tutted, pushing you back by your shoulder, stopping you from getting another chance to prove yourself. "We can't help that you have your limits."
"I just need practice." You swore, looking up at your husband. You hated that you disappointed him again.
His fingers reach out to tilt your chin up, making space for his lips at your neck as he slowly pushed you back into the bed with his own body.
"If you ask nicely enough, I'm sure we can have you try again another time," Alastor said softly, as if granting you such a troublesome request.
The back of your head softly met your pillows as Alastor nudged your legs apart with his knee.
He slotted himself between your legs, grinding his slick cock impatiently against your panties. His groan was practically breathed into your ear.
You wanted to hear more of it. While you weren't particularly eager for sex, you were starved for your husband's praises. And if this is what it took then so be it.
You bucked your hips up to remove your underwear, your groin meeting his lazy thrusts as you did. 
"And here I was beginning to think you didn't want me." Alastor jested as he parted from your neck to help you rid yourself of your underwear. His long fingers slid the flimsy thing down one leg and let it stay on the other.
"There probably isn't a woman in this apple that doesn't want you, my love." You half-joked, but your soft laugh abruptly ended in a gasp.
Alastor pressed the thick head of his cock at your entrance, teasingly pushing in just the smallest bit. "You're most likely right," He said, watching as your eyes closed at his trespass. "But you are the only one lucky enough to have me."
And you should know it.
Your back arched as your husband pushed past the tight hole of your entrance. What little resistance your walls made barely bothered him as his throbbing head forced your walls apart.
His hands dug into the sheets by your body. The smooth covers wrinkling in his grip as he strained to stay still.
"This alright for you, darling?" He asked, running his thumb softly under your eye to coax you into looking at him.
Your heart fluttered. Even when in such carnal need he cared about your silly little wants. You pry your eyes open to see Alastor peering down at you with a smile.
"I could stay with this much if you need me to." He told you, rocking hips barely moving. The head of his cock nearly slipping out before he pushed back in, just until it disappeared again into your warm walls.
He was being so kind and accommodating, you couldn't bring yourself to be so needlessly selfish.
Your cunt strained to take even just his very tip, but it was so pointless to let something like that get in the way. Your petty little apprehensions shouldn't matter. Not when you're with your husband.
Your lips strained to force a smile. "I think I can take more, my dear."
It was all Alastor really needed to hear. he dragged his dick out of you, letting it slip out. Wanting you to feel how empty you were without him. Before he rammed his hips against yours; sheathing his cock fully in your warm cunt.
"What a gal," Alastor praised. "Loving, kind, and gentle, but takes a cock like she's on the clock in a call house."
Alastor loved the way you keened at his words.
He loved the way you yearned for his touch, even when you both knew it wasn't your game.
He loved the way you worshiped him, always so desperate to please him.
Oh, how he loved how you were always so ready to give him everything. 
Alastor loved you, but just not in the way you hoped.
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When you woke up the next morning, the view in front of you wasn't anything new.
Alastor's half of the bed was empty. The previously rumpled sheets for the previous night's rendezvous were pristine and smoothened out once more.
It was there again. Whatever that feeling was. 
You assumed it's going to be here for a while.
Alastor seemed to have already headed out before you awoke, not that it felt any different from other mornings.
With a sigh you made your bed. Once again going over everything you had to do for the day.
You had to clean—because you always had to clean—but more so now knowing you left quite the mess yesterday. You have to stop by the market once more, maybe look through clothing stores to find a new shirt for Alastor.
You didn't want him upset with you over that after all. While he didn't bring it up, you knew it still likely bothered him.
You made your way to the kitchen, ready to get the day started.
Except something glimmered as you walked by it. Your head turned to its direction, seeing the same padlock you broke the night before in perfect condition—back on the door to the basement.
Your brows furrowed as you approached it. Fingers gingerly examining the cold metal.
But, how could it be back on here? You swore you broke this stubborn thing last night.
From the corner of your eye, you see a note on the counter, immediately recognizing Alastor's messy handwriting. 
Yes, of course. He must have replaced the old one and fixed whatever damaged you did on the door while you were asleep. That would easily explain it.
You picked up the note, smiling softly to yourself at how silly it was to be confused.
It was a brilliant bash, my darling, but it seems this lock is just much too sturdy :(
Don't fret! I'll find a way to open it eventually! Do try to stay away from the tools though, dear. We wouldn't want you hurting your soft delicate hands!
Yours, Alastor
P.S.
I'd prefer a little less char on the meat this time! Haha!
You tried to reread the note several times, wondering if your husband was pulling your leg again. 
You broke this lock, you knew you did.
You swung a hammer at it thrice and it broke. 
Thrice? Or was it four times?
Whatever, the count didn't matter.
Or did it? 
You remained where you stood, confused at what to believe. The note still clutched in your hands.
Did you really break the lock last night? Or were you just so desperate to get something right that your fooled yourself into thinking that?
If you broke the lock then why was it still there now? Why would your darling husband tell you otherwise?
The only reasonable conclusion was that you didn't.
Surely, that made sense, right?
Your eyes stared at the note. Alastor's name seemingly bright against everything else. 
No other possibility made sense. Besides, if Alastor trusted you enough to marry you, it only made sense to return that privilege.
Right.
Your eyes lifted from the note, to the kitchen in front of you. The mess you made still loud and present and ugly. 
There was no use standing there fretting over such a silly, pointless, thing. Not when you had more pressing matters to attend to.
Who really cares about a dumb little lock, anyway? Didn't you have such a long list of tasks to do today?
Like proving your worth
To yourself
To the world
To your husband. 
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Part 1 of 2 I hadn't intended for this fic to run as long as it did, and the best part was yet to come. It would have taken ages to get this out if I didn't cut it into half. Anyway, Read part 2 of 2 here!
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