#very very cool character I've been following his story for a while now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spockandawe · 2 months ago

Text

Oh, this is interesting. To me. I'm not sure it's interesting to anyone else! But I'm on my computer for once and FULL of words again, and I'm delighted to talk to myself given half an excuse.

So, I made a post about Long Live Evil! Because I cracked open the book and was absolutely taken aback by how transparently it seemed to be an SVSSS reskin. I wrote up a goodreads thing (it's whatever, I'm going to rehash the main points here too), because I was also full of words and beans after finishing the book yesterday, and after polling online friends, I was surprised to see that the comparison didn't seem to have organically occurred to anyone else, when it was so naked to me. I know there’s a TON of transmigration and isekai stories out in the universe, and pointing at one single book was a big claim, so I just had to assemble all my thoughts! I find this so interesting! And I reblogged my initial one-off post with a little more elaboration about some of the things that jumped out at me, then got on with live and went back to chipping at ORV and GHG, and shotgunned MADK this afternoon.

This is a subtle nod and a wink to my passionate love for these kind of... morally grey main characters! Calling them villains might be a bit much, I don't think there are many true villain protagonists out there (LLE included), and even Devil Venerable has a demonic cultivator who's doing demonic shit and killing loads of people... but with the ultimate balance of the heavens and earth as his priority. This kind of story is my jam. I was recced this book on the basis of transmigration and sketchy protagonists being my thing. I can't rightfully call SVSSS the best cnovel I've ever read, but it is my favorite. And I've probably reread it more times than any other cnovel.

So, that SRB post, huh? I put Long Live Evil behind me, and honestly even following up on the sequel is mmmmmdoubtful, but THIS snagged my attention again. First, the comparisons she's calling out as incorrect are wild to me. Draco and Harry? What? Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian?? (I had to ponder that one for a hot minute, but I bet you anything it's about 'the golden cobra' and 'the last hope' and that's just silly, they're not wangxian, they're MOSHANG)

I was recced LLE in one friend group, but I had an anti-rec from my book club friend group. My book club friend hadn't been at all impressed by it! And she's cool, and I talk up svsss and mxtx to that crowd every so often, without really expecting them to read it. I talk about transmigration as a plot device that I love, and the things that can be done with it! But with that connection in mind between the books, as I started LLE, I was jokingly defending the honor of SVSSS to this crowd, so I admit I was primed to recognize similarities.

I really truly did not make it far in the book before locking it down. I was getting vibes basically from the moment Rae started gushing about her problematic fictional fave, I referenced 95% certainty shortly after she makes the jump to the fictional universe, the golden cobra was 98%, Lia Mingyan's, I mean Liu Mingyan's lack of sex scenes was 99%, and the first pov section for Marius-jun was where I gave up and called it as a sure thing.

It'll be very funny if I'm wrong! I don't think I'm wrong.

Plenty of spoilers to follow, because I identified this inspiration early, I guessed basically every plot twist early, I don't have the patience to dance around spoilers while explaining how it all lines up.

Now, I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating: I don't think this is plagiarism. I think it's tasteless to accuse an author of stealing and repurposing characters to her face. But I think it's also tasteless to repurpose characters as nakedly as happened here! Again? If I'm wrong? That's why I'm talking to myself on my blog and not messaging her directly (?????? who even does that). What are the stakes for me being wrong here? I look like a clown online? That would be terrible, I've never done that before! It's not a crime to write in ways I find distasteful. It's not a crime to write a book I think is not good, even apart from the use of fictional influences. But I like talking about my feelings online, and I can't be stopped!

But there's two aspects of this that make me somewhat uncomfortable in a less fun way. Both are contingent on the big IF. If this is inspired by svsss, I think it's not a classy move to take a Chinese story in a Chinese setting, inspired by the modern Chinese literary scene and classical Chinese fantasy, and just dump the characters into a generic western setting. Fanfic? Have fun and try to be respectful. Profic, making money off it? Ehhhhh. The question of how much change is necessary is a tricky one! It's not one I'm equipped to answer, this is not my wheelhouse or my place to speak. But it doesn't make me feel good!

However, here's where I have more personal stake:

Again, if this is inspired by svsss. It really doesn't feel great to see a queer story (a smash hit in more than one country!) stripped down for parts and made into a heterosexual story. It's not all heterosexual, we get side lesbians, we get men with homoerotic tension. But the central ship is now a guy and a girl. And it... stings a little extra, because in the story of svsss, the idea of assumptions about default (hetero)sexuality are such a central theme. A queer man has written a trashy, oversexed stallion novel where the hottest guy in the universe collects the hottest women like pokemon, and it sells so much better than the more personal stories he tried to write. He has to write this pandering trash to make money to live, he can't live on the more authentic stories he tried to tell before. The protagonist is the projection of his own insecurities and self-hate, and the protagonist's right hand man is his projection of his own ideal man. Another man transmigrates into the book, assuming that he himself is straight, assuming the protagonist is straight, and the force of their love changes the course of the entire narrative. In retrospect, it's upsetting to see those load-bearing themes casually carved out of the story and the hollowed-out remains used like this.

Anyways, in their place, now we've got running gags about how the heroine's tits are BIGHUGE now and she can't keep her balance because her GIANT HONKERS keep tipping her over.

I'm a little more bothered than I was yesterday! On the other hand, since I saw SRB's post, I've been chewing on that central ship. Full disclosure, it was one of my favorite aspects of the novel! My other favorite aspect is the dynamic between the golden cobra and the last hope (the moshang, which I think some people misdiagnosed as wangxian).

I know that the central ship here is the thing that's LEAST comparable to svsss, and the biggest roadblock in the way of my theory. On the other hand, I think it was the thing that HAD to change if this story was going to repurpose svsss without getting called out for being a classic 'bro can i copy your homework' adventure.

For this section, let's assume that I'm right and let's roleplay an author trying to figure out how to change Bingqiu into something not-obviously-Bingqiu. How do we need to differentiate Rae and Key from Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe.

First, we eliminate the martial sect thing. Easy peasy! That's a wuxia concept, and this book goes full nondescript western fantasy. She's not his teacher, he's not her student. And if she's not his teacher and he's not her student, why does this woman have power over this man, to build up the resentment that inspires him to turn the tables on her later? Well, in nondescript western fantasy, she's a noblewoman of some kind, and he's a servant of some kind. Noble lady treats servant like garbage, servant resents her. Doing great.

And to loop back around to the beginning of this a little, I think it really is key to this reskinning that Rae is a SHE. If the central ship remained queer, it would be so, so hard to pull away from the most identifiable thematic aspects of svsss. And pieces of what remain are... kind of bizarre for a normie heterosexual ship where our protagonist is aware that she's transmigrated into an impossibly desirable sexpot character!

Shen Qingqiu never considers that Luo Binghe might be interested in him because Luo Binghe is about to have a HAREM of beautiful women, he's the most heterosexual man of all time, and Shen Qingqiu is straight too! Besides, Shen Qingqiu is his teacher! He half-raised Luo Binghe! Even if Luo Binghe was bent, he wouldn't be interested in an old man like Shen Qingqiu!

Rae is 20, occupying a 24-year-old body. Her character's sexiness is relentlessly remarked upon from start to finish. Key is 18. Why is Rae so sure that he looks up to her as... a mentor, as an older woman? He almost goes down on her! He makes out with her! And she's like 'ah yes, it means nothing. lol. so funny how these things happen.' Bruh, at least after Luo Binghe kissed Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu finally got hit with the clue stick. Binghe didn't try to blow him only for Shen Qingqiu to keep noodling on about how Binghe definitely isn't into him in any sense, even the most oblivious man in the universe managed to catch on.

Why doesn’t Rae think there’s any chance of genuine attraction here? Yeah, I get that she's coming back from terminal cancer. She's doing great. She knows that the fictional character she occupies is one of the most desirable ladies in the land. He’s a teenager. He’s not expressing disinterest. A lack of horny for sexy lady ought to be more surprising for her. But I guess she’s slightly older than him and that small age gap has been magnified by the transmigration, so she conceptualizes herself only as his teacher, I mean mentor.

I’m not even mad at this dynamic. I love their chemistry, the ‘boss’ thing is cute, but lordt, I have to wonder if it’s meant to substitute for ‘shizun.’ But you know where this comparison really falls apart? Key isn’t really THAT much Luo Binghe.

At least, he isn’t in terms of personality. I mean, we’ve got the mysterious magical heritage, the healing factor, the unbeatable fighting skills, being beaten repeatedly because of the protagonist (tbh it’s sexier when she’s responsible, rather than just being a bystander), being yeeted into the abyss, I mean the ravine, to rise again and assume power as the merciless ruler of all the land. Oh, and he comes back from the dead still bearing the scar that represents her betrayal. In the original novel, he turned on her the moment he got his opening and was responsible for coming up with her gruesome torment.

(Also, Shen Qingqiu being terminally ill isn’t canon, but it’s very popular fanon, and it’s hard to ignore that with how hard the narrative lingers over Rae’s terminal illness as her gateway into this fictional world)

But! But the things that are different! Luo Binghe is a smart and sweet teenager, who had a rough start on the streets and has a tragically deceased single adoptive parent, but that’s their only backstory parallel, he doesn’t blacken until he’s thrown into the abyss. Not like Key, Key is a murder-happy sociopath, a former street kid who fought the odds and made good, and who’s a lot sharper and cleverer than the upper classes think someone like him should be. He utterly destroyed a righteous cultivator clan, I mean glassblowing guild, for the sake of revenge. Once our heroine scores a number of trust points with him, we unlock secret backstory about how as a small child, he experienced deeply formative hand trauma.

He’s Xue Yang.

It took me a moment to process the wangxian allegations SRB mentions in her post, because I was trying to figure out how someone would be aware of wangxian, and read that backstory, and somehow miss it. But it’s fine, I’m pretty sure they were actually talking about the golden cobra and the last hope! So LET’S TALK MOSHANG.

It was so funny. I was liveblogging the book to friends, because honestly, I do not jive with the buffy-esque joss whedon relentless quip-quip-quip writing style. I was struggling to stay engaged when the narrative never took a moment to breathe. And I perked up at the introduction of this new character! He seemed kind of fun, kind of meta, Key came over to share Secret Info with him, and I messaged the friend who recced this to me (also an svsss appreciator) ‘lol, what if he’s shang qinghua. just straight from svsss shang qinghua.'

Reader, a second transmigrator has hit the narrative.

Now, in some ways, he’s a disappointment to me. He’s not nearly as interesting as Shang Qinghua. Adding the author to their own narrative is way more fascinating to me than just dropping a rando into the story. But I’ll take what I can get, I think multiple transmigrators are almost always a fun decision. And for the queer reasons I mentioned above, I think Shang Qinghua ties into the themes of his novel a lot more strongly than Eric does here. I don’t want to call him ‘the golden cobra’ every time, I get more self-conscious every time I write it. And honestly, the reveal of Eric’s full Eric Whatever name feels a little awkward and… pointed compared to the sheer opacity of Shang Qinghua’s existence. Never mind what his name was in the real world, we don’t even know his name before he was a Peak Lord. I’m not upset we got a name or anything, it would make certain fannish activities a lot easier if Shang Qinghua had additional canon names, but it was an interesting detail in light of how parallel the characters are.

Okay! He’s not the author! He’s still a super-fan. He transmigrated into the book years before the LLE main character, and has settled in pretty well. According to canon as Rae knows it, he’s fated to be killed by his own favorite character. He’s fast-thinking and fast-talking, and scattered and all over the place, but dangerous when cornered and more competent than he looks. He deals in information and manages a network of spies. He’s a creative! He and the main character banter relentlessly and get along like a house on fire. He and the king’s trusted ice-cold right hand man share a weird codependent dynamic that’s part hostile, part homoerotic.

Marius has complicated feelings about not-shang-qinghua. Eric is a coward, he’d rather talk fast and lie than stand up for anything, he cowers and cringes and isn’t honorable. He and Mobei-jun also shared a deeply formative experience in their youth, where as a teenager in distress, Eric/Shang Qinghua appeared before them and announced their devotion. In Shang Qinghua’s case, it was offering to serve him (and saving him from huan hua injuries), and in Eric’s case, it was declaring him to be his favorite character (and saving him from sad teenaged isolation), but man. And in the end, after a long, fraught relationship, Marius/Mobei-jun is furious and strangely distraught when Eric/Shang Qinghua abandons him.

Guys, it’s not wangxian.

I think it hits less hard when Marius’s themes of family violence aren’t allowed to sit directly in the narrative, and when it seems like some vague berserker rage thing rather than Linguang-jun just bluntly wanting to murder him for practical reasons, but hey! This was still, genuinely, one of my favorite parts of the story. I wanted more more more of them, I would read this moshang au any day.

After that, the parallels get a little more nebulous! The comparisons between the abyss and the ravine are pretty obvious. I’m not sure why we decided to build our city and palace right on top of the pit of people-eating ghouls rather than literally anywhere else, but it means we don’t need to take a special field trip to Jue Di Gorge, which means we can do the bait and switch where it turns out Key was a heavenly demon all along. The temperamental King Octavian, the young master of the palace, one might even say the xiao gongzhu if they were feeling spicy, jealously tries to romantically monopolize half our main ship and has the other half flogged with a magic whip.

I already mentioned that Rae brings up that Liu Mingyan — wait, I said I’d change some answers so it wasn’t obvious I copied — Lia doesn’t get a sex scene in the books even though loads of other people did, just like Shen Qingqiu praises Liu Mingyan for her untouchable image in such an oversexed, gratuitous book. I don’t think it would be right to call Liu Mingyan a white lotus heroine in either SVSSS or PIDW, but her archetype is in that wheelhouse, and Lia is just a white lotus rival played straight (and played deliberately, another touch I liked). We don’t have made up animals like black moon rhinoceros pythons in LLE, but we do have leucrotas, which are like a lion and a hyena and serve no narrative purpose.

Oh, you know what else I forgot to mention? Rae gives Key one of her red ruby earrings, and he refuses to sell it, and stubbornly holds onto it until the bitter end. Is this Xue Yang holding onto the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, or is it Hua Cheng determinedly keeping Xie Lian’s red coral earring with him even through his own death? Por que no los dos?

There are things that are original in here. I know that this presentation undersells how much of the book is original. The trouble is, almost everything I thought was good is something that either was lifted from another person’s creative endeavors, or is being tainted by association with all the other naked lifts. Some of the noble ladies have an archery contest! That’s pretty new and fresh, huh? We didn’t have any archery contests in SVSSS!

Yeah, but we sure did in MDZS. And MDZS is already in play, because we’ve already got one character who’s just copy and paste Xue Yang.

There’s a thermocline of trust in this book that fell off for me sharply, and it turned a lot of this into a guessing game of ‘wait NOW what the refrance? owo'

I’m probably on a hair trigger by now, but I’ve also probably missed some things. And I’m sure this is a synthesis of multiple influences, because most stories are. But this feels like cooking and trying to season your dish with a little salt and then the container lid just falls off.

Emer isn’t a clear parallel to an existing character! Love that for her! Love a lady with an axe, especially if she gets a nice girlfriend! On the other hand, in terms of backstory? Wow, she’s been raised with our protagonist since early childhood, as not-quite-foster-siblings, but she was always the clear unfavorite and harbors a lot of resentment over that. Oh, and once Rae entered the story, Rae started trying to speedrun an enemies to 'hello hiiii we should bestiessss' arc with her. I think she had to have an axe, because a whip or a sword would make the Jiang Cheng and/or Liu Qingge vibes a little uncomfortably strong. She doesn’t follow their character arcs! But the disappointing thing is that it felt like she was just there to facilitate pasting the frankenstein patchwork of the narrative together rather than having an arc of her own.

(why did Marius stop to give her a sword lesson? Why did she immediately sneak onto the roof to eavesdrop on the king?? It’s hard to give her credit for being an original character when none of her original actions make sense in the greater universe)

Oh, I almost forgot, we’ve even got magic plot macguffin plants. While Binghe is in the abyss, Shen Qingqiu needs to get the Sun And Moon Dew Flower Seed so he can build an escape hatch for himself before Binghe wrecks his shit. Rae, on the other hand, needs to secure the Flower of Life and Death by an arbitrary deadline as an escape hatch so she can go back to her original life rather than being trapped here forever. Very different! There’s even little side tangents about how these plants can be so beneficial to others, Zhuzhi-lang is desperately trying to secure a seed to build a new body for Tianlang-jun (which Shen Qingqiu enables him to do, despite not knowing what he wants it for), and Rae thinks about how the flower could “save someone on the very doorstep of death,” and gives it away for that exact purpose. So different!

I need to cut myself off, otherwise I’ll keep going. Truly, there is original content in here. It was just all the stuff I didn’t like. The character quipping was. God. There sure was a lot of it! By sheer volume, that’s a lot of original content. Some of the extended cast was interesting, I enjoyed the Horrors and their brothers, I liked Valencia. Now, I didn’t like how basically every girl ADULT WOMAN in this cast was in shitty teen mean girl mode. I didn’t like how immature every character interaction period was. I lost track of how many times Rae was going around in sexy clothes and rando servants were like “HARLOT,” out loud about a favored noblewoman, you know, as you do. Especially when her bodyguard is pulling against his choke chain just waiting for an excuse to do a murder. I don’t need Rae to be the picture of flawless maturity. But nobody is mature, full stop, not even the set dressing servants.

For a less loaded example, the cumplane friendship dynamic is here, practically intact. Shen Qingqiu can't snipe about authorial choices, because Eric isn't the author, so instead Rae and Eric squabble about favorite scenes and favorite ships and such. But it isn't nearly as charming when we don't see these two characters dropping their dignified Peak Lord cultivator roleplay to talk shit with each other. Rae and Eric never have a filter once in this book. They are always Like This, it isn't a secret face that gets unlocked when they're bouncing off each other, they are never circumspect, never have a filter, never have any idea they shouldn't be speaking their full thoughts at full volume 24/7. Even after this starts to have material consequences when they're inevitably overheard! It's an immersion-breaking level of immaturity, which is terribly frustrating when the original dynamic that I loved is only changed in such minor ways.

And another thing that actually tastes way more sour than it did on first reading – Valencia is probably the least mean girl of all the women in the cast. She’s delightful. Too bad that in every scene but her last one, Rae, who repeatedly references her own experiences having her body and appearance ravaged by cancer, cannot for love or money stop talking about how uggo Valencia is.

I know this is an adult novel. The characters are, by age, adults. There’s almost an oral scene. God, I wish we’d gotten the oral scene. But by every other metric, the characters are all high schoolers and I’m an exhausted adult muttering to myself ‘they’ll grow out of it, please GOD let them grow out of it.’

Again, none of this is a crime! Nobody forced me to finish the book! And I did enjoy the book. Parts of it! But that very distinct partial enjoyment experience almost forced me to dissect my own emotional response. And truly, other than a few flashes like Valencia, almost everything I enjoyed about the book was something I could trace directly back to one author, and mostly to one book by that one author. I… enjoyed half of the book. And if I can track most of that half back to mxtx and svsss, I really think that says something about how much wasn’t done to make the inspiration behind this book the author’s own.

It's disappointing! I read this book because I like svsss, I read it because I want more books like svsss, I read it because I trawl the novelupdates tags looking for more books that will hit me the way svsss did. It doesn’t taste good to be served reheated svsss with expired buffy sauce drizzled on top. It tastes even less good once I have a minute to think about what turning an m/m meditation on sexuality and self-image and assumptions about others into a m/f snooze does to the themes I loved so much. It stings to see an author rehash a book that was/is so important to me, and see what they kept and what they threw out, and be like ‘oh, so… these were the elements that mattered to you?’

Again, I hate to be redundant with this, but. I think calling this book plagiarism would be overdoing it. I think it’s tasteless. I don’t think being tasteless is a crime. It remains wild to me that she’s getting messages calling out her supposed inspiration, even if I’m simultaneously criticizing the judgment of the people making those specific comparisons. And I ABSOLUTELY understand why she’s reluctant to own up to the specific inspirations behind this book, because good lord. If it was me, I’d be professionally embarrassed too.

It’s not my job to be the book quality police, but I think someone as experienced as this should be able to do a better job of synthesizing inspirations into something original. I dropped ‘can’t afford to offend my scheming disciple’ earlier this year, because that narrative couldn’t shake the taste of stale svsss fanfic, and it was much more subtle than this is. Once again, if I’m wrong, this post will be retroactively VERY funny and I’ll be all ears to see what her inspirations actually were. I don’t think I’m wrong.

#long live evil #long post #svsss #the scum villain's self saving system #imagine if i put all these words into more productive endeavors! crazy!

65 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 2 months ago

Note

Do you think the god debate and narrative around it in C3 would be more compelling if Ludinus only focused on killing the Betrayer Gods a la Cassida? As many pointed out, the impact that Primes have on mortals is largely positive. Aside from cool abilities, they give healing, meaning and comfort to their followers. Up until very recently (Braius) we haven't seen Betrayers do much of that and their followers are, more often than not, people who would cause great harm to others.

I actually do not. There's multiple questions in here, and honestly I could probably write 5000 words on any of them, which I'm not going to do, but I will split this up into components.

First: I don't think Ludinus is the problem at all. He is unambiguously the villain, but he is always narratively compelling. It is fun to make fun of him because he is genuinely a fantastically crafted villain. When I dunk on villains who are boring, it's nowhere near as fun because all you can say is "wow what do you even do. boring-ass" whereas Ludinus is full of interesting possibilities and hooks to be like how can you be so smart and have lived for so long and seen so much and come to the fucking worst conclusions. There's a reason why people have been side-eyeing him consistently since at least his first speaking appearance in Campaign 2, if not his first appearance ever, in Felderwin, and it's because he's a great character who I hope dies horribly. So his motivations are fine. I'm not saying the possibility you suggest wouldn't be a very interesting different story, but my complaints about narrative and the gods debate do not require anything different from Ludinus, who has been a consistent bright spot within the muddied narrative by being a consistent blot on Exandria and also sometimes the moon.

The narrative and the god debate are intertwined - the issue is a dull indecision that plagues both of them - so I'm splitting this one up a little differently.

What do I as a viewer think is the most reasonable stance regarding the gods based on my understanding of the worldbuilding of Exandria?

What is interesting to watch?

And therein lies the problem. I, as a viewer, think that killing the gods is a bad idea, and I've articulated this in various spaces and am not going to write another 5000 words about it right now, but between the events of past campaigns; the events of this campaign including Downfall; who within the narrative supports the choice to not kill the gods; and the complete uncertainty regarding the fate of existence let alone mortaldom should they be killed or chased away I have come to this position. Any counter-argument tends to rely either on entirely false statements, or a nebulous "a better world is possible" without any assurances that the allegedly better world is, in fact, probable. Ironically enough, I am not willing to take a leap of faith.

But as for what's interesting to watch? That's an entirely different story. My issue with the the gods debates is that they are endless, circular, indecisive, and between the least informed group of PCs we've had by a large margin. They say the same 5 sentences in different words over and over. It's like watching a bunch of high people while you're sober. It only hits hard if you're stupid. For more on this see here and here. If Bells Hells had decided 30 or 40 episodes ago to side with Ludinus, or to try to only kill the Betrayers, or to oppose Ludinus but kill the gods? Great. Fantastic. I'm not saying I wouldn't have had my critiques of it given the worldbuilding setup as described above, but I think it would have held up infinitely better as a standalone story, at least, than it does now. My problem is that instead they had endless circular indecisive conversations during a bunch of (comparatively much more interesting) fetch quests, finally came to some kind of conclusion that gave the end game some structure and direction like 4 episodes ago, and then had yet another wrench thrown at them. And convention panels and Cooldown have consistently confirmed my suspicions about the lack of planning in the places where this campaign really needed it. In my conversations after the latest episode, multiple people independently used the term "sludge" to describe their feelings about the plot.

In actual play, I want characters who have clear conviction and make bold and decisive moves because handwringing forever in such a slow-moving medium is excruciatingly boring. Like, do I think Percy in the Briarwoods arc is making good, informed decisions that make him a moral person? Absolutely the fuck not. Do I think the story where he's shooting first and asking questions later is infinitely superior to one where Vox Machina can't decide what to do for 50 episodes? Yeah.

The god debates are ultimately a symptom of this narrative aimlessness. The lack of an answer is the problem, not what the answer is.

#answered #partner-of-the-light #critical role #cr discourse #i have maintagged this because i think it is something that hasn't really been articulated #i think tbf most of us have been sucked into the gods debates too but like. the problem is that this is still a debate in episode 107

123 notes · View notes

stanfordsweater · 5 months ago

Note

hello i'm new to the supernatural fandom and you have been in my recommendeds for a while, reasons to ship wincest???

i thought for a long time about how to respond to this so imma link catherine tosenberger's excellent analysis of the first few seasons where "the most resistive aspect of Wincest fan fiction is that it gives the main characters a lasting happiness that the series eternally defers."

to begin with, there are a lot of people who will argue for the toxic codependency and i love them and also love it but the reason i've been here for well over a decade is because of the way that wincest offers you two paths: you can follow the path of those who write endless meta about how one or the other brother is abusive and how toxic it is and eventually brainwash yourself into being unable to ship it, or you can follow the path of love and light and perspective and recognize 1. these are fictional characters and b. there are no two characters in genre tv who are as devoted to each other as sam and dean. there is no plotline that follows through fifteen seasons of being obsessed with each other.

by choosing the incest pill, you grant yourself access to fifteen seasons of generally good tv ABOUT YOUR SHIP EXCLUSIVELY. sam and dean are the main characters and you will always know, opening up an episode, that they will be there, doing their weird-ass jealous obsessiveness, and you will never despair about not having them present, together, even if they're fighting or struggling or depressed. that is a very special thing!

now, beyond that, assuming you've watched the show, there's many reasons to cross the incest line. FIRSTLY, everyone involved was well aware of what they were doing. we have a few choice quotes i've collected below about their relationship that ramps up the intensity:

"Ultimately, they are pathologically dishonest with each other because John Winchester was pathologically elusive to them," consulting producer Ben Edlund says. "They learned that the truth is this dangerous thing, and that you shouldn't speak it. He even taught them to keep secrets from each other for strategic purposes." With all of the supernatural, apocalyptic, tragic drama woven into the show, Sam and Dean's relationship is rooted in human emotion. "When you look at the dysfunction that they show to each other, it comes directly from how they were brought up, and that's a kind of dysfunction that people in this world continue to face. 'Why didn't my dad tell me that he loved me yesterday?' We're just people sharing the same kind of thing," Edlund says.

"Why do you think Dean has had such a hard time forgiving Cas when he did forgive Sam for a similar betrayal?"

I think the easy answer is blood, I think the easy answer is family, even though if there was a family in this show it would include Bobby, it would include Cas, it would include these-- these-- kind of, broken war-torn heroes we've come to know, and you know, Bobby has that famous line, "family don't end with blood," but it is his brother, at the end of the day, that's the closest he has to a companion, and has had for a companion for many years, so I think with Cas there was always, "he's unnatural, he's an angel," and I think that for Dean, relating to someone like that, it's tricky, relating to monsters, relating to anything supernatural, his brother is flesh and blood, it's tangible, he can touch that.

Obviously the relationship between Sam and Dean is central to our show but we’ve been building this rift between Sam and Dean all season, so that led to the idea of having this young male character that sort of idolizes Dean and does all the cool stuff that Sam won’t do, and that’s Dean’s perfect mate.

(the thing sam won't do is literally swapping spit with him. tell me i'm lying)

in the hunt, page 37

Not all fans are content simply to attend conventions. Some of them want to take a hand in the story, and their fan fiction can explore areas mostly untouched on the show, like the latent homoerotic suggestiveness of the Winchesters’ intense relationship.

-THE NEW YORK TIMES

"eyefuck" became a well-known script shorthand because of how intense j2 looked at each other as sam and dean

it's a terrible life draft script:

Note B) They are supposed to be together

Note C) each been all alone in separate life finally found kindred spirit

in the hunt, page 158

i haven't included any eric kripke quotes because he has so much wrong with him that i don't want to enable it. this is a compliment. it is one of the highest i can give.

SO-- what these quotes tell us:

sam and dean are relatable because their relationship is intensely human

sam and dean have shared secrets they cannot voice to one another but that nonetheless make them inseparable

people have been writing motherfucking essays about sam and dean's homoeroticism since the show aired

within the mythology of the show, sam and dean are meant to be together above all other relationships

...oh, you need more? i didn't think i'd get this far. um... okay... look at them???

if you choose to walk this path you will find yourself crying and taking screenshots every time they look at each other or touch each other or hold each other and you will thank the lord in heaven that we were granted this intensely wild and beautiful homoerotic relationship back in 2005 and praise jesus that you can always return to their raw sexual chemistry-- "In fact, much like the early X-Files, the show is fueled past its failings almost entirely by the chemistry between the two principals, the boys who, like Mulder and Scully, generate enough sexual tension to power a small city" as quoted by whitney cox in 2006 in an article that otherwise fails to bring anything to the table, sorry if you love it for your meta but also literally just go read the catherine tosenberger essay

you still need more????? jesus, what have you shipped prior to this? well, go watch the pilot and enjoy the fact that the first scene these two have together they are wrestling on the floor (sexually) and getting all romantically silhouetted against this beautiful lighting

and then go watch a few fanvids like this or this and then watch the pilot and watch this and then read this post about how supernatural happily wields incest as a tool of horror and as comedy and then scroll through my entire family horror show tag to understand more and then watch this immaculate video that deals with the whole thing and think about how all these things were happening in 2005 and remember the fact that sam and dean are the main characters of the universe... and then maybe just watch the show and please do not become an annoying shit poster who just talks about how they hate it🙏

#if you become a poster who just talks about how bad the show is or how abusive one of them is to the other i will hunt you down and put bees #in your house #wincest

122 notes · View notes

mewkwota · 17 days ago

Note

For the character ask meme:

Marvel vs Capom Megaman!

Technically that would just be Classic Mega Man, so we'll go with him!

Send Me a Character

And I will tell you my:

First impression I know who Mega Man was and that there were different ones (I just wasn't sure how or if they were necessarily connected at first, so I drew him and Hub interchangeably but confusedly). I think Rock is cute, but his design was too simple for my tastes.

Something about Smash's additional details clicked so well to me. (MM11 is still not quite there for some reason, so I don't use it.)

Impression now I've always had an interest in robot characters, and after learning more about him, I was somehow able to explore so much with that concept and just Mega Man's character in general. Unsurprisingly, working with him reminded me a lot of Astro Boy and the situations he faces with the innocent mindset of a child and the body of a robot, just not as heavy (I won't talk about the Archie Comics, I stopped following after a while for reasons).

The thing about working with child characters is that they aren't always going to act like older characters, in their words and their emotional responses. On top of that, drawing them is particular too-- their faces, the things they do with their hands, etc.

It leaves a lot to think about, but the thoughts are very welcomed. Kinda like a "put yourself in their shoes" sorta exercise.

So besides the fact that I grew to really love the Mega Man series, with its fun characters and robot designs, I really appreciate the "pureness" of Rock's character. I know he's also a hero with a strong sense of justice, but in the end he's also just a child. A robot child.

Even when compared to the other Mega Mans, Rock is the simplest, purest form of the non-human. His "humanness", while present, differs from X and his complexities despite them both being totally mechanical. Hence why I chose that word "pure".

Though Rock may appear simple, it turns out it's with much meaning. At least to me it does. I have no idea if these words make sense.

Favorite moment This is a Smash thing, but watching the lights of Mega Man's eyes during his fighter reveal is always gonna be so cool.

Idea for a story I made two (ancient) comics that touch on the uncomfortable dynamic between Rock and Dark Pit. I never really clarified it, because I'm still not sure, but Dark Pit's harsh attitude toward Rock were meant to cover for something else.

It's been so long, I don't know if I'll ever return to it. But there's definitely a lot of loose ends I've still left flying around. (Y'know... Like the one with Beck.)

Unpopular opinion I don't really like Rock's MM7/MM8-type proportions. He looks way too tall and way too lanky.

Favorite relationship *Coughs loudly in Captain N*

Favorite headcanon The little depictions that remind you Rock is originally (and still is) a helper robot are very sweet to see.

#wow looking back at my comics from that time makes me feel nostalgic #but also darn I used to write so much (I feel so bad that I haven't done things that nice of a size since)#like I want to but ahhh my energy is stolen by my work...#for real though I really did put all my energy into those megaman comics #well at least I have a lot of them on paper than none at all :)#Asks #Ask Mew #rubyrosevalentine #megaman #rockman #I don't really think there's any way for me to interestingly talk about rock solely in the topic of mvc #so yeah we'll talk about him in general (it's for the character after all)

38 notes · View notes

pinkeoni · 2 years ago

Text

Will Byers' Coming of Age Horror Story

Today I wanna predict Will's storyline in season 5 using horror genre tropes.

What's interesting about Will is that he often falls under tropes that are typically associated with female characters.

In season one he's the dead girl. He's Laura Palmer. He's the face of innocence that goes missing/dies and kicks off the story.

In season two, he's the possessed girl. He's Regan MacNeil. It's the irony of evil inside of the face of innocence.

Now, in season three he isn't given as much attention, so pinpointing what kind of trope he follows is hard to do. However, with season four we are given insight into what that trope is. Season four is a little different because he actually takes on a teen drama/romcom trope instead of a horror one. He's the girl next door, he's Joey Potter from Dawson’s Creek.

He's the childhood best friend who get's involved in the love triangle between the Main Guy and the Cool Girl. We see glimmers of this in season three, but it doesn't become especially clear that this is what they were going for until they lean into Will's feelings in season four.

So then, what does this mean for Will's arc moving forward? Will season five follow the pattern of female tropes? If so, which trope will they go with?

Some important information we are already given about season five is that this is going to be Will's coming of age. We've had this confirmed a few times by the Duffer Brothers.

Given the nature of the show, it wouldn't be out there to assume that his coming of age is going to be explored through a supernatural element. In fact, supernatural coming of age horrors are actually pretty common, especially female supernatural coming of horrors.

These types of films typically explore coming of age through some kind of supernatural and/or horrific element, usually in quite the gruesome and violent way. While these films will explore a broad spectrum of different subject matter regarding coming of age, sexuality and sexual awakening is usually a point of discussion. Sexuality and either supernatural and/or horror elements run adjacent to each other, and sex is typically associated with violence. IE lycanthropy in Ginger Snaps, cannibalism in Raw, demonic possession in Jennifer's Body, Nina’s transformation in Black Swan etc.

The reason for this is because female sexuality is usually demonized. It's seen as something as horrific and monstrous, and as such this trope is often associated with queerness. Films that follow this formula are typically seen as queer coded, or even include blatant queerness (see Jennifer's Body or Black Swan)

So now we have a character like Will, whose sexuality is already demonized in universe, going through his own coming of age narrative in a supernatural horror show.

What would be an effective and streamlined way to showcase coming of age and queerness in a way that also coincides with the nature of the show and even goes along with the lore?

I know that with the limited number of episodes, there comes the reasonable concern of being able to squeeze in so many different storylines and themes in such a short amount of time. I get it, it's my main problem with season 3. How are they going to find the time to adequately explore themes relating to Will's sexuality, while also having to wrap up all of the loose ends regarding the supernatural plot?

Easy, you do what the above examples did, and make Will's sexuality and his connection to the supernatural the same plot.

It's not like they would have to reinvent the story in order to do this, they've already been setting up clues for this exact storyline.

In season one, Will's rumors of Will's queerness is pretty widespread among the town, it's one of the suspected reasons for why he went missing. His queerness is already being correlated with supernatural from the very start.

As I've said before, coming of age horrors usually explore sexuality through of lens of something supernatural. It’s not that the supernatural plot takes the place of Will’s sexuality, but rather these two plotlines run together to aid each other, and the supernatural plot can express ideas relating to his sexuality in a more metaphorical way.

So then, how could Will’s burgeoning sexuality be explored in a supernatural way, that fits within the universe of the show?

His powers

@therainscene already has a great post discussing how Will’s powers are his queerness, I reccomend reading it because they explain a lot of the same points that I’m going to but in a much better way than I ever could. Although I wanna point out this point they make at the end—

I would go as far to say that this is what the show bas been building toward the entire time. Think about how many elements of Will’s storyline matches up with both his sexuality AND powers:

Being taken in season one (the town believed it was because of his sexuality, when really Vecna could have taken him for his powers)

Bullied by his peers (being called Zombie Boy for his experience in the UD and other slurs for his sexuality)

Powers/sexuality being seen as mental illness (his true sight visions being misinterpreted as flashbacks)

Repression of both powers and sexuality

Castration (Soteria effectively being a conversion tactic for powers)

Stigmatization (the town sees both the supernatural and homosexuality as satanic)

And finally, acceptance (neither Will’s powers nor his sexuality are horrific, but a beautiful thing to be embraced)

Here’s what Will’s storyline looks like written out:

Will is initially targeted for his sexuality/powers (season one) and he is to be judged by his peers for his sexuality/supernatural experience, and his sexuality/powers are thought of to be a mental illness (season two). His sexuality/powers remain repressed (season three) until they are slowly revealed to the audience (season four) and he finally accepts and embraces his sexuality/powers in the end (season five).

If we follow a typical storyline from a coming of age horror along with what we know about the show, here’s my rough prediction for Will’s s5 arc:

Post time skip, Will is beginning to come into his sexuality more and more but it’s difficult given the external environment

Will has an awakening of powers emblematic of his sexual awakening

Owens + the government tries to “cure” Will of his powers by getting rid of them (I’m going to make a post in the future elaborating more on just this point)

In the beginning, the powers bring a lot of complications and strife (he would likely be targeted for having them, and may not like having them himself)

In the end though, Will comes to embrace the powers he was given as a wonderful, beautiful thing, and they are what helps save the day

Now, some may notice a discrepancy between Will’s storyline and the coming of age horrors I talked about prior, and that’s the idea that Will will have a much more positive end than the female protagonists I discussed. Although, the show has a much different tone and different message than the films above. While those films usually go for the tragic angle, I don’t think the show about uplifting outcasts and wierdos is going to end with the gay kid dying.

I also don’t think that the show is going to try to portray Will as a villain. I think it’s possible that other characters may see him as a villain, but once again, given the shows message, I don’t think the gay kid is going to turn evil. Like I said before, I think Will is going to learn that his powers are actually quite a beautiful thing, just like his sexuality, and learn to embrace it.

tagging: @downbytheriversside

#will byers #will byers has powers #byler #<- target audience #stranger things #stranger things theory #WOOF this is long and ive been staring at it forever so hopefully this makes sense #very long and very rambly i know

653 notes · View notes

jo-harrington · 8 months ago

Text

Stranger Than (Fan)Fiction - Chapter 3: Lore Dump

Previous Chapter: Out of Character

Summary: After your bombshell revelation, Eddie finds it difficult to wrap his head around what is now his reality to empathize with your shared predicament.

Word Count: 8k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader

Warnings/Themes: No-Upside-Down AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lore Dump (literally), Isekai, Mentions of FOI-compliant events and characters, Various References to Movies and Television, Criticism of Fanfiction, Meta Fiction

Note: Ok besties here we are and the chapter, or at least one part of it, is very much as the title says. It's a Lore Dump as we figure out how Reader and Eddie have found themselves in this predicament. Warning everyone that it might be a little mind-fucky but a lot more will be explained in detail in future chapters. We've only just scratched the surface here.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

You'd never run so much in your entire life.

Alright, that might have been a little dramatic.

But that didn't mean it wasn't true.

"Is it always like this?" you panted as you chased after the flopping brown coat of the man a few steps ahead of you. "With the running?"

"Oh yes!" he called out. He looked back at you with a charming, crooked grin and pointed ahead. "You'll get used to it. Allons-y!"

This whole nightmare started when you crashed your car into, what you thought was, an unassuming blue "police box."

And now, several days later, you were running, ducking, diving...surviving all manner of monsters that seemingly popped up out of nowhere in the middle of Texas. With a goofy man with unbrushed hair and a buzzing screwdriver called The Doctor, and his companion--whatever that meant; it sounded suspicious to you--Martha, who kept staring at you like you'd grown another head.

You supposed adventure was the idea when you left the borders of Port Geneva proper, but this kind of adventure wasn't exactly what you had in mind. Static monsters who could literally take the words out of your mouth and a hive-mind controlling overlord whose goal it was to steal knowledge.

You might have been a lover of fantastical stories, but this was something beyond your wildest fantasies, and apparently something Martha and the Doctor encountered regularly, if their cool reaction to some of the atrocities you'd seen was indicator enough.

They both seemed to have it in mind that you were joining them for this type of ordeal from now on, though.

Especially the Doctor, if that "you'll get used to it" was something to go by.

"Come on, faster, faster," Martha called out to you from the threshold of a solid metal door just up ahead. "They can't get in through the iron."

You pumped your legs faster and ignored the burn in your lungs as you passed the Doctor and joined Martha in the safety of the bunker, with the man of the hour himself following shortly after. Martha slammed the door shut and then used the sonic to ensure the lock would hold.

They let you have a moment to catch your breath as they strategized plans for the next steps, which seemed impossible now that you were stuck in a bunker filled with junk and no exit.

"Nothing's impossible," the Doctor exclaimed as though he could read your mind. Maybe he could; you wouldn't put it past him. "And we're not stuck."

He removed the brown trench coat and got to work sorting through the junk in the bunker, while Martha took a seat beside you and patted your knee.

"You should be proud of yourself," she said gently. "It's really hard, dealing with all of this. And I've been with him for almost a year now. All the running, the monsters, all of the...impossible--

"Nothing's impossible Martha," the Doctor interjected.

"--improbable things," she amended. "It doesn't get easier, but you will get used to it. Besides, you'd think you were on the track team like Sam with how fast you've been running. Maybe you should have been the star relay runner instead of her."

Martha might have laughed.

But you didn't.

You felt a cold sense of dread overtake you. You'd told them about your friends back home earlier in the day, when you'd panicked over your impending doom. You cried and told them you wished you were still back there, safe and sound; in hindsight, it was a pathetic moment.

It wasn't what you'd said that gave you pause now, though; it's what you hadn't.

"Martha," you muttered nervously. "How did you know that Sam did relay?"

Martha's eyes went wide and she looked to the doctor in a sudden panic.

"I...I never told you she was on the track team."

It was a standoff.

A staring contest.

You and Eddie watched each other, unblinking, as if to see who would break first.

Eddie knew it would probably be him because his mind was racing, but he would give you the chance to repeat yourself, or elaborate, or maybe yell "surprise" first.

None of those things happened of course, so he was left in stunned silence trying to formulate the words to respond to your groundbreaking revelation.

We are in a fanfiction.

Fanfiction.

He had heard about fanfiction before. Drove the guys out to some comic book shop in Fort Wayne to celebrate Jeff's birthday and the nerds behind the counter were talking about a Star Trek fanfiction they read in some celebratory fan magazine.

He'd honestly never thought about Kirk and Spock like that and he really didn't want to again.

Even though it kind of made sense.

He just wasn’t that big of a Trek guy either.

But damn, even though he and the guys might not have been the popular kids, they were definitely not dorky like that, were they?

Except that they were. He was.

He wrote his favorite characters into his DnD campaigns as NPCs and he fantasized about what it would be like if he was Han Solo instead of Han himself, and tucked away in a drawer at home, there was definitely that story about you...

"Shit," he finally breathed out, blinking and breaking eye contact with you. "Shit, I did this. I mean, I know I did this, but did...did I do this?"

"What?" You frowned at him. "What do you mean, did you do this? Eddie, did you hear what I said?"

"No, yeah, of course I did," he began rambling. "I just...before you showed up in Hawkins, I...I wrote about you. I wrote about you leaving Port Geneva and coming to Hawkins and meeting me and...fuck...that means you know."

You stared at him blankly.

"You know that Port Geneva is a TV show," he clarified and then ran a hand through his hair. "Jesus Christ, how did I...how could I have done this? Shit. Shit."

You crossed the short distance and took a seat on the couch beside him, comforting hand finding his knee instantly.

"Eddie--"

"I'm sorry I did this. I'm sorry I just...you're my...my favorite character and I..."

"--you didn't do this. Someone else did."

He took a few breaths, heart pounding in his chest, and then swallowed hard.

"Who?"

"That's...a little harder to answer. But I think the thing you need to focus on right now--the thing you're missing--is that we are in a fanfiction. You and me. Together. Because I'm not the only one from a TV show. You are too."

Eddie was dumbstruck for a second.

Well, he was pretty dumbstruck about this whole thing. But he only had a second to really process it, because the next thing he knew, you were in his lap, lips pressed to his, hands fisting his jacket, and the door to the greenroom burst open as his friends walked in.

You pulled away from him as the catcalls and whistles and jokes began and glanced over your shoulder at the guys to bite your lip bashfully.

"Ah, looks like the original song worked after all," Jeff teased.

"Good, cuz then we don't have to play it anymore, bleh," Gareth stuck his tongue out. "You know, for everything you preach about metal and only metal Eddie, you sure wrote some sappy Greg Brady shit."

Eddie's ears rang as he answered. Well, as his mouth moved and voice spoke, saying something that got everyone laughing. Something that he had no control over once again. You turned back to him and he widened his eyes in some silent plea but you simply shook your head at him.

Instead you leaned forward and kissed him again, softer this time. Gentler. Different from the unexpected kiss just moments before, this was one of understanding and comfort.

He relaxed under your touch.

"Alright guys," you announced as you pulled away, words and tone of your voice not quite matching the softness of your gaze as you continued to watch him. "Your set's over. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Bev wants you out."

"What was all of that?" he demanded as you stepped out of your car.

After driving the guys home, he sat on your porch and waited. Chain smoking and lost in his thoughts until you got back to Forest Hills after your shift.

"Can I at least get inside first?" you asked with a nervous laugh. "Do you want to wake Granny up? Jesus."

He was on your heels as you unlocked your door and stepped inside, almost followed you to your bedroom when you said you'd wanted to change into PJs, and even declined a soda when you got settled back in the living room.

And once you couldn't stall for any more time, sitting next to each other on your couch, he stared at you and begged, "please, I need to know I'm not in a nightmare here. Or dead."

You let out a honk of laughter and then reached over to take his hand in yours, and he felt the slight edge of abject terror start to lessen.

"You're not in a nightmare," you reassured him. "Or dead."

"Then...then what is this?" he whispered desperately. "Is this a trick? A joke? Start from the beginning. Please."

You took a breath and began.

"It's fanfiction." You hummed contemplatively for a moment. "This is...I don't know when it started, actually. For me, that is. For you...well, there's no way we could say for sure; I can only talk about my own experience."

You paused and then said your name, the same way that you had introduced yourself originally. And then Eddie realized that you were introducing yourself again as you squeezed his hand in yours.

"I was born and raised in Port Geneva, and then in 1985 after graduation, I left to start my adventure. And from that moment on--for years--I got to have it. I got to have...a hundred adventures. A thousand. A million maybe? As many adventures as there have been people to imagine them. As many adventures as there have been fans to write them.

"Fans like you, Eddie," you smiled at him. "You said you wrote a story where I came to see you."

"Yeah," he nodded, cheeks hot under your gaze. "I did."

"And I'm your favorite character?"

He thought about you, thought about himself and the countless nights that he watched you on the screen.

"How could you not be my favorite?" he asked gently in return.

Your gaze turned soft and you looked down at his hand, clasped tightly within yours, and then you continued with your story.

"I got to see the world, got to meet so many people, I got to fall in love...except I never realized it. Until...until I met him."

"Him?" Eddie asked sharply, thoughts immediately spiraling.

Love.

You said love.

Who was this Him that you were in love with? Even through Eddie's confusion and panic about the predicament he was currently in, he could still feel a bitter jealousy roiling deep inside his gut.

"The Doctor," you whispered.

"Doctor Who?"

You snorted. "Exactly."

"I don't get it," he shook his head.

"Doctor Who...that's...it's the name of a television show. Been around for a long time, but I'm not sure how popular it is here. If it even exists. You have a lot of media that we didn't have in Port Geneva but there's a few things that...I dunno...that your writers haven't mentioned. Or The Writer hasn't included yet."

You explained it to him, or the gist of it at least.

An immortal time-traveling alien and his usually human companion, all of the adventures and misadventures and danger. Being able to go to different times and timelines and universes.

In any other scenario, it would have sounded cool. Maybe a little scary. But now, all Eddie could think about was this mess you were in.

"And...this Doctor...he's what brought you to Hawkins?" he questioned hesitantly, figuring that it made the most sense. "He thought he was bringing you back to Port Geneva's universe and brought you here instead?"

"Uh, no," you frowned. "That was The Writer. The Author. Whatever you want to call them."

"Because this is a fanfiction."

"Yeah. That was. And this is. I just...didn't know it yet. I didn't realize it was fanfiction until later. But, uh, whoever wrote that crossover story just brought me from my world into Doctor Who, and that was when I realized I was a fictional character from a TV Show. Because they wrote me as a character who jumped from a television show into the 'real world' of the Doctor and his friends."

Just like you were now: a fictional character in his world.

"It's hard to explain, but the Doctor made me aware of it. Made it make sense." You faltered. "Well...not really, but that's when it started. He told me that I wasn't real--"

"Wait,” he interrupted you. “But you said I was from a tv show back at the hideout. So you're telling me I'm not real?"

"Ed--"

"Because you’re from a tv show and so am I and this Doctor is too.”

“I wouldn’t try to think about it so hard.”

“Is that...the Doctor told you that you were a character in a TV show and you weren't real? And that's what you're telling me right now too?"

"It's hard to explain--"

"Because I don't know sweetheart," Eddie chuckled sardonically and shook his hands out of yours so he could run them over his face, through his hair. "I...I feel plenty real. And if there's anyone who isn't real here...well, I have a stack of video tapes back home that can provide enough evidence."

He’d thought about the barebones of it when he’d been outside waiting for you to get home, but faced with the truth of it now, the dominoes were starting to fall.

He was real, he had to be. His whole life, all of his memories, all of his friends, what about th—

"Can you let me fucking finish?" you snapped at him with a sharp clap.

His shoulders heaved and he stared at you with wild eyes.

"You're real," you explained calmly. "I'm real. We're both real. Real people. Real lives. Real memories. For the most part."

Eddie didn't like the sound of that.

"But this world...is your world and I don't belong here. Just like I didn't belong in the Doctor's world either. He explained it to me in some way I didn't quite understand; I'm just a girl from the midwest. I barely graduated high school and suddenly he was telling me there was some cosmic anomaly that pulled me out of my world, my tv show world, and that I was transported into his world. It was wild.

“The important thing though was that he didn't know how to get me home. So, until he could figure it out, I was stuck. And I traveled with him for a while. With him and his friend Martha…and then with another friend Donna. Until somewhere at the end of it all...I died."

Eddie's heart stopped in his chest; you...died?

The question was stuck on his lips, the demand to know more, but he felt himself choke up when he thought about it. Even more when he watched the tears well in your eyes as you remembered your own death.

"I died alone, bleeding out in the middle of an alien planet..." you recalled, wrenching your eyes shut. There was a beat of silence and he let you have a moment to recover. He watched your eyes dart around beneath your eyelids as you gathered your thoughts, as you recalled whatever horror you went through. When you were through, you blinked and looked up at him with the weight of a thousand truths in your gaze. "And then I wasn't dead anymore."

"What?!"

"Well obviously I'm alive,” you motioned down to yourself. “Maybe I’m a little worse for wear inside but I’m fine. Back then though...I was dead. One second I was in oblivion. And then next, I woke up in the driver's seat of my car, outside of a hotel in Odessa, Texas. With a man from the future named Hiro Nakamura, who told me I had to save the cheerleader if I wanted to save the world.

"And it all just started over again," you sighed.

You recounted this next place to him. Places, actually; plural. Names that meant nothing to him but seemed to mean something to you--Hiro, Claire, Peter, Sylar--and it all sounded fantastic. Another unbelievable adventure, but there was still something off.

"I...I tried to ask questions. About where I was, about where the Doctor was. It was always ignored. I tried to control things but it seemed like I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Tried to do things that I instinctively knew I wanted to do, but I just couldn't. It seemed like there was something controlling me instead. Like I was a puppet on a string. And everything that happened around me...never seemed to make any sense, no matter how hard I tried to wrap my head around it.

"Sound familiar?" you asked.

Eddie scoffed, thinking about the traumatic, out of control moments he had had the past few days. That hopeless, helpless, sinking feeling he'd had.

"It fucking sucks, sweetheart. You feel like that...all the time?"

"You get used to it." You shook your head. "Get used to playing along. I learned that really quickly; I resigned myself to this life where I was just a passenger in my own body. Until I realized if I just played the part that whatever forces-that-be wanted me to play, I could have a little more control."

There was a tense pause as you let Eddie absorb the information. And absorb it he did. He didn't like it, the idea that he had to play a part; it was something he'd been fighting all his life. But maybe if you said it was something that would make him feel more in control, he could try.

He turned to the next thought ever-present in his mind.

"So," he cleared his throat to start again. "How do you know this is a fanfiction? When did you figure that out? Because...when you showed up, I thought about all the possibilities--a dream, a nightmare, hell, heaven, a portal, a wormhole like in a comic book--and that was never one of them."

"Because of the interviews."

"Interviews..."

"They're fun and silly, I guess," you shrugged apathetically. "You'll be in the middle of your life, middle of your day, middle of a fight...and then the world goes dark and you'll find yourself sitting in a room alongside the people you know...and The Writer. An Interview with the Characters.

"I was already familiar with the fact that I was from a television show and in a world I didn't belong in. But I was the only person aware of that fact; to the Doctor, I was a fictional character, but here Port Geneva the television show...didn't exist. I was just another citizen of planet earth, and my home was a real place on the map, as real as Odessa or New York.

"But suddenly my friends and I were in that room sitting in front of someone. A writer. The Writer--SylaireIsMyOTP117--and they were all aware that they were characters in a television show called Heroes, that I was a character from Port Geneva, and that we were all in some kind of...story in another universe, written by this SylaireismyOTP117. Something they never seemed aware of before.

"And SylaireismyOTP117...she acted like she was our friend too, like she had our best interest in mind and valued our opinions. Everyone laughed along with all of her jokes. Answered all of her questions. Except me, because then it all came into perspective. She was the one playing with our lives--playing with my life--and putting us in danger. She made us travel through time to dangerous places, she created more dangers, she even killed Peter's older brother--something that apparently hadn't happened in the show. Well...not yet anyway."

Your hands clenched and unclenched.

"I thought I figured it out," you said through gritted teeth. "Found the person responsible for this predicament I was in. Because she was so...sure of herself. She even had the audacity to apologize for pulling me out of my world and into Heroes. I asked her why she made me die with the Doctor just so I could be a part of this world instead... but she didn't know what I was talking about.

"Suddenly she had this pink magazine in her hand. Pulled it out of her back pocket and waved it around, saying she found it in her mom's childhood bedroom. Said I must have been thinking about one of the stories from it. The Port Geneva Teen Fanzine. SylaireismyOTP117 told me she was sad that people had written me the way they did. Out of Character. That she wanted to give me something better than than had. A better adventure. Then the interview was over. And that was the end of that. Or just the beginning actually.

"Mystery solved." You held your hands out in front of you like you were presenting the secrets of the universe. Eddie could even imagine a glowing sphere floating there if he tried hard enough.

You started naming names then, of movies and books and television shows. Heroes and Lost and Vampire Diaries and The Dark Knight.

And. And. And.

The list just kept going and going.

It made Eddie's head spin to hear all of the places you had been, all of the lives you had lived, the things that all of these Writers had put you through.

To hear how sometimes you'd wake up in a new world, sometimes you'd seemingly get your happily ever after, sometimes none of the above. Sometimes you were even back home in Port Geneva--relieved--only to get ripped away all over again.

It never seemed to end the same way, but it always started with you in the driver's seat of your car. Chugging along to the next destination. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

"And that's how you ended up here in Hawkins?" Eddie asked, then paused. "Do you know...what my show is called?"

"Uh," you winced and folded your hands together in your lap. "Yes. I do. And I know it seems like I know all of these things. I don’t. Rarely, actually. But sometimes the Writers think they're funny and they work the title into the story; that’s how I find out. Because it's out of place.

"But, uh, it’s not the first time I've been here in Hawkins, actually."

It was a record scratch moment for Eddie.

"You...you have?" He smiled and suddenly felt a sense of hope; alright, so his love for you was so undeniable that this wasn't the first time someone had brought you to him. To give him something good in his miserable shit life. "Well so, what happened last time? Why can't I remember? Is that just...well, I guess, what makes this time different? Why am I aware of it all this time?

"Wait! Wait! What's my show about? Is it...is it like...the Misadventures of a Wannabe Rockstar or something? You said that when we had breakfast at Benny's. Is that the title? It has to be."

He rambled for a second, excitedly trying to predict his future, a future where you got to see the ups and downs of his life as he and Corroded Coffin navigated their way to fame.

You let him ramble, let him live in hope for those few moments. Until he realized you weren't chattering excitedly with him.

Until he saw the pain in your eyes.

He deflated, mind suddenly turning to the worst scenarios. At least in his mind.

"We don't make it, do we?" Was the conclusion he could come to. "But it's Wannabe Rockstar, right?. Not Future Rockstar. I'm gonna end up working at Thatcher Tires instead or something. Dead end job, stuck in this town..."

"It isn't your show," you whispered. "Just like Port Geneva...wasn't really mine."

Eddie swallowed hard.

"It's called Stranger Things," you explained. "And it's...I dunno...there are monsters. The first time I was here, I wasn't transported in as someone's favorite TV character. It was 1983, Port Geneva was a real place, and I was a transfer student at Hawkins High. And awful things happened. But there was no Eddie Munson. They must've written you in later in the show."

You continued your own rambling then, as you tried to make him feel better about it all. How he must've been a beloved character for someone to write a story about him. How whatever story they were writing was a good story too, because there didn't seem to be any monsters in Hawkins, not like there were the first time you'd been there.

"And...and The Writer of this story must love you a lot," you concluded. "To bring your favorite tv character in to be your girlfriend. For us to...like each other, love each other--and I do like you Eddie, I want to make that very clear. You make me feel like I'm close to home for the first time in a long time--but it seems like they want to give you a happy ending too. One you deserve."

But your words didn't help. The sinking feeling was back, but this time The Writer didn't have anything to do with it.

It was him, all him. All this misery and he wasn't even the main character of his own show. He should've seen that coming. And yeah he could live with being someone's favorite, enough for them to write a happy ending or something but...

"'s that mean I have a sad ending in the show?" he wondered. "If there are usually monsters here but there aren't, and I get something...something good, does that mean I die or something?"

"Eddie, it's..." you trailed off, but the rest of the sentence was hanging in the air, clear to both of you.

It's better not to think about it that way.

He nodded slowly and pulled his hand away from you to run it over his face.

It was confusing, it was upsetting.

All of it.

The cherry on top of the shit sundae that was his week. His life.

Fuck, but none of it was real, right? Contrary to everything you said. So could he really be upset? Should he? At least he knew he had something good to look forward to. A happy ending.

But how could he look forward to it when he knew that...well, when he knew that he didn't deserve it in the first place. That wasn't what fate had in store for him.

Or the writers of this Stranger Things show.

His happiness was at the whim of The Writer. At the whim of some...loser nerd writing about him in another universe.

A nerd just like him.

Fuck, it was giving him a headache.

"I uh...have a lot to think about," he whispered. You nodded as he stood and crossed towards the door of your trailer so he could leave. He paused at the door, instinctively remembering that he had to kiss you goodbye. Until everything hit him all over again and he decided it was better not to. "I'll, uh, I'll call you. Ok?"

"Yeah," you nodded eagerly. "Call me whenever. Please. It's...it is a lot. And honestly, we only scratched the surface. But we can figure the rest out together. I can help you through it. I promise. I'll be here."

He left without another word.

Denial was the easiest way for Eddie to go about this whole ordeal, or so he thought. How the fuck else was someone supposed to come to terms with the fact that...

Nope he wasn't gonna go there. Not yet.

He knew that he would need to deal with it eventually--need to think it through and talk to you--but until then, he was just going to live his life like he normally would.

So he avoided those feelings, and avoided you.

And it seemed to work.

School, home, trip to Rick's to re-up his inventory on Wednesday, grocery run for Wayne on Thursday, Hellfire on Friday, no date on Saturday.

Dealing at a few parties, band practice where the music was all normal, and then finally back at the Hideout for their gig on Tuesday.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

It was a normal week and aside from the still-obvious markers of this new life he was living, like the mess in the trailer and the fancy renovations at the Hideout, Eddie felt relieved and a little less like he was about to lose his mind.

It was both a blessing and a curse though, because at the end of every day he realized just how much missed you.

You'd rooted yourself solidly in his life--both on tv and now in the flesh--for years. Even when he didn't have new episodes to watch and stories to enjoy, he had his reruns. His tapes. Then you were suddenly there in person and on the phone.

So the you-shaped hole that he punched in his life, when he decided to ignore his predicament, was gaping and obvious.

Yeah, he could tell Wayne about the great battle he'd come up with for Hellfire, or complain to the guys about the bogus chemistry homework. But it wasn't the same. Not anymore.

So he resolved to talk to you on Tuesday after the set, only you weren't there.

"Shouldn't you know Junior? That's your girl," Bev dismissed him with a wave of her hand. She must have taken pity on him at the sight of his sad eyes, and she just sighed and continued. "She called in sick. Took the night off. She seemed fine yesterday; better not be cuz of you, kid."

He feared you might have left town, maybe to spare him or something--how that would work with the fanfiction Gods? Weren't you supposed to stay in Hawkins? He wasn't sure--but your car was in front of your trailer by the time he got home.

Everything was quiet, and all the lights were off, even the porch light which you usually kept on. He debated knocking on your door, waking you up, but decided against it.

If you really were trying to give him space, or simply avoid him like he had avoided you, it was best not to wake you up and piss you off.

"Tomorrow," he told himself. "I'll talk to her after school tomorrow."

Of course, that was the plan and fanfiction or not, sometimes even the best laid plans went awry.

He was still Eddie Munson, after all.

Things never went his way.

Once again, he had Chrissy Cunningham to thank for his plight.

It was on this, the day of his reconciliation with you, that she decided her hunt or conquest or humiliation of him would take place.

Maybe all of the above.

It was raining, he was running late.

He would have cut classes--should have just cut--but despite all odds being against him now more than ever, he promised himself that he was going to try when it came to school.

He had just opened the door to his locker when she appeared, the tips of her pristine white sneakers kissing the sides of his muddied converse.

"Hey Eddie!" Chrissy greeted with a too-big smile and sparkling eyes.

Eddie jumped and looked around the hallway, conveniently lacking its usual amount of students who loitered around before class. Thankfully, no other cheerleaders or jocks in sight either, though; it was either a blessing or a curse, he couldn't tell for sure.

"Hey, uh," he coughed and glanced at Chrissy for a second, before distracting himself with the contents of his locker. Fuck, it was pretty messy in there too; now was as good a time as any to clean it. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you," she beamed.

He felt a bubbling of annoyance build within him, somewhat out of his control.

"You can't want to talk to me and also not want anything Chrissy," he scoffed pretty harshly as he grabbed a handful of papers to sort through. "So do you want to buy weed for a slumber party or something? Or have you suddenly decided to throw your Homecoming crown in the trash so you could join Hellfire ?"

She shuffled her feet and clutched her books to her chest and then took a deep breath.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to hang out some time," she announced loudly, bravely. Eddie froze in shock and then turned to her; her cheeks were red but there was a resolve in her eyes that he'd never seen in her before. "There's a new movie playing at the Hawk. Clue. I don't know if you've heard of it, it looks a little spooky..."

She rambled on and Eddie was left to stare at her, dumbfounded.

Chrissy Cunningham? Asking him out? Ok so Gareth was right?

But was Gareth right? Was she really hot for him or was she just using him for her own amusement? Or was this another little...storytelling mishap that the Writer was putting him through?

Shit, how could he tell?

This kind of shit sort of always, sort of never happened to him before.

Plenty of popular girls thought it was fun to go out with The Freak just to get off or to have a laugh, sure. But everything else in his life was turning upside down thanks to the Writer. So was this just another layer to that absolute shit show?

Gah, what the fuck could it be?

The anger bubbled inside of him again, and he had the vaguest realization that the anger didn't really belong to him. It felt too intense, almost manufactured. He was hit with the sense of deja vu that he'd felt this way before--in the cafeteria before the almost-food-fight and then at Family Video--and he decided to put a stop to it immediately.

"Listen Chrissy," he interrupted her with a cool, indifferent tone. "The movie sounds cool, but I'm really not interested in going out with you." He turned back to shut his locker and get to class when she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"If this is because of Jason," she began softly. "I'm...you don't have to worry. I'd break up with him if we went out."

"It's not about Jason," he snapped, out of control once again. Well and truly out of control. He felt himself shrug her hand away. "I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who is actually cool and nice and interesting. Who likes the things that I like and doesn't like silly things like magazines and cheer and scrunchies." He watched in horror as he lifted his hand and flicked at her ponytail, and then felt angry at himself, at this situation, at The Writer when Chrissy flinched and dropped her books on the floor.

"It's almost funny that you'd think I'd be interested in someone like you," he spat at her venomously.

He felt the sudden urge to slam the locker, felt the urge to walk away, felt the urge to laugh in Chrissy's face.

But he resisted all of those urges with every fiber of his being.

He just stood there until the puppet strings were cut once again and he felt the rage and anger dissipate.

All the while, Chrissy went from a fearful, trembling mess in front of him, eyes welling with tears, to...nothing.

She just stood there too.

She looked down at her feet, shuffled back and forth for a moment, and then she scuffed her shoes against the floor, nudging the fallen textbooks.

She suddenly didn't look like Queen of Hawkins High Chrissy Cunningham, or someone that was afraid of the Wrath of the Freak, or some lash-batting temptress like she had been just moments ago.

She just looked like the girl who was hiding in the Auditorium at the Hawkins Middle School talent show all those years ago.

A person. Just like him.

Eddie cleared his throat and knelt down to help Chrissy pick up her books.

"Sorry," he muttered when she knelt beside him. "Sorry I--"

"No, it's ok. I guess...I don't know. I guess I just felt a little lost for a while," she explained softly. "And the only thing that seemed like it could fix it was you."

Interesting.

"But not anymore?" he wondered.

"Uh, no," she shook her head. "I don't even know...why I asked you out Eddie. No offense...but you're not really my type."

The two of them laughed for a second as they stood back up.

"You know," Eddie turned Chrissy's books over in his hand, "if you wanna break up with Carver, you can just do that. You don't need to use me as an excuse."

She froze in front of him, cheeks red again, as she hummed nervously.

"Thanks Eddie," she whispered. They both smiled softly, a silent understanding shared between them, and then Chrissy held out her books so he could stack the ones in his hand atop them.

And that's when he saw the book--magazine--at the top of her stack.

A pink-covered, handmade looking thing with a familiar name printed at the top of it.

Port Geneva Teen Fanzine.

His heart stopped.

That was the thing you said your Writer had shown you once upon a time, in your Interview.

For a second he wondered how Chrissy had it, but then he tried to figure out the logic that you were from a TV show and transported here. If he was a fan, there must be other people watching the show and fans of it too. Maybe the magazine transcended universes. Just like the show did.

It honestly made his head hurt trying to think about it.

"You...you like Port Geneva?" he asked, trying to remain as casual as possible.

"Hmm, yeah," Chrissy smiled down at the 'zine. "It's one of my favorite shows. My mom and I used to watch it together. Sam is my favorite character."

Somehow, that didn't surprise him one bit.

"Do you watch?" she questioned, brow quirked curiously. "It doesn't seem like your kind of show."

"I mean, I'm full of surprises," he teased, trying to keep his tone as lighthearted as possible. "But, uh...yeah. I used to."

"It's a bummer that it's over right?"

"Yeah...hey Chrissy, I know you don't owe me any favors or anything but, uh, can I borrow that?"

"Seriously?" she snorted. "It's just got like personality quizzes and little stories and stuff in it. Nothing special."

Little stories? Bingo.

"Yeah, just curious."

"Sure." They traded her textbooks for the magazine, and then with a shrill ring of the bell overhead, they went off to class.

He sat in his room after school, holding the Port Geneva Teen Fanzine like it was some sacred document not meant for the eyes of a mere mortal peasant like him.

The Dead Sea Scrolls or the Magna Carta or The Declaration of Independence.

It had burned a hole in his backpack the whole day, anticipation getting the better of him, but he knew that he didn't want to read the 'zine in front of his friends.

"So stupid," he scoffed at his own antics. "What was gonna happen? Davey wouldn't want to take the 'which character would make the best chemistry lab partner' quiz."

Maybe just in case there was something just inside the pink paper cover that would change his life forever.

"Like what? It's not like your yearbook picture's gonna be on the first page, idiot," he sighed and tightened his grip on the magazine. "Just gotta rip off that bandaid."

He closed his eyes tightly, took a breath, and flipped open the cover.

When he cracked one eye open to take a peek, he sighed in relief.

His face wasn't staring back up at him. No faces, actually. Just a table of contents that looked a little grainy, like it was copied on a Xerox machine and haphazardly thrown together.

There were different headlines just like there would be in a regular magazine--interviews, behind the scenes, quizzes--and then some unique ones--fan art, fan submissions, show theories. At the bottom of the Table of Contents, there was a little slip that could be cut out, filled, and mailed along with a few dollars to some address in California to get the next copy of the 'zine.

Eddie flipped through the pages curiously, and he truly enjoyed some of the pictures of fans visiting the set and getting pictures with a few cast members. Then an interview with the actress who played Sam's mom, who said what a joy it was to see her young co-stars grow up and come into their own, just like their characters.

Then about half-way through, he reached the Fan Submissions.

A section filled with fanfiction stories.

A section where your name was plastered practically everywhere.

Stories of you getting to go to big cities, ones where you finally returned home. A heartbreaking one where you returned in time for Sam and Pat's wedding and you cried because...

Because...you'd actually been in love with Patrick the whole time?

Eddie made a noise of shock as he read the detailed description of your heartbreak and the way that you recalled how sad you had been the day Pat had come to ask for your help with the proposal.

"Were we even watching the same show?" Eddie scoffed.

There were a few fanfiction submissions that characterized you that way, having this unrequited love for him.

But you never really showed any interest in him, other than friendship. Aside from Mark, you never had any romantic feelings in the show.

How had these so-called fans misread your relationship with Pat so terribly?

Or had Eddie's obsession with you clouded his ability to perceive the signs? Maybe he had been watching a different show than everyone else.

He wallowed in that feeling as he waded through the fan stories slowly--although one story about Bonnie and Bill seemed a little interesting: a Bakery/Flower Shop soulmate romance--until he got to one at the very end that caused the hair on his arms to stand on end.

A story about you...and Alex P. Keaton?

It was the only crossover in the fan submission, and it made Eddie nervous once again that he misunderstood your character.

Alex P. Keaton who read the Wall Street Journal for fun?! And you, and artist who followed your heart and went on an adventure to find yourself?! No, there was no way.

"This is a bunch of bullshit," he muttered. He shut the magazine and ran a hand over his face and into his hair.

Eddie wasn't the one who misunderstood you; it was everyone else who did. And if they had written you so wrong in this magazine, he could only dream of how wrongly they'd written you in all of those other stories you told him about. How miserable you must have felt in all of those different worlds.

Shit, and it was not only you who felt miserable, but him now too.

The wild events of the past few weeks had made him feel like he was going crazy. Yeah, at least he had an explanation for it now, but it didn't negate the fact that he suddenly felt like a stranger in his own life.

And if he felt like that, God only knows how you must've felt.

"Shit," he muttered.

He needed to talk to you.

He quickly got up from the bed and raced out of the house, panting as he jogged across the trailer park to get to your door.

He knocked frantically and impatiently waited for you to answer.

His resolve broke when you finally did.

Clothes--pajamas, actually--mussed, eyes bloodshot and puffy, you looked a lot like you had during the episode where Mark had broken your heart and you'd cried to Sam.

Had you thought that he was ending things with you because he had been avoiding you? Because of this whole situation? He ached to think that he'd hurt you like that.

"Sweetheart," Eddie whispered softly. "I should've called. Shit. I'm sorry I--"

"No," you sniffed and shook your head. You were smart enough to put two and two together and realize what he was apologizing for. "No, it's...Eddie this isn't because of you...I mean yeah, actually it is but..."

"I'm sorry," you both said simultaneously.

"I'm sorry that I just left the other night," Eddie elaborated. "I'm sorry that I avoided the whole thing, but I needed...I needed some sense of normalcy in all of this."

When he paused for breath, you immediately swooped in with your own apology and explanation.

"Well I'm sorry I seemed to have brought all of this bullshit with me to Hawkins," you stared at him pathetically. "I've never...no one has ever seemed aware of it before. I've been dealing with this alone for so long. I know I sort of dumped it on you; not only to explain, but maybe because I found some sort of relief that I wouldn't be going through it all alone anymore. I'd have you with me at least.

"And then, after you left, I really had time to think...how long it's been. My show aired in the 80's. And your show...Stranger Things? I mean...between my last time here...someone put me in a modern movie for a short time...and then I guess your season was a few years later maybe? Twenty-twenty-something?"

Eddie's throat tightened. They were still writing stories about the 80's that far in the future? Sure there were war movies and stuff. Man, people must've been really nostalgic and weird otherwise...

"It must be like...a historical documentary at that point," he laughed dryly.

"You calling me old?" you choked on a laugh, and then looked down at your hands. "I guess I am, though. I've lived through all of these different stories for...lifetimes. One story might take...I dunno, a few months for its Writer to finish, but it spans years. Years that I've lived through, one day at a time, with no break."

"Shit...that sounds..."

"Terrible?"

"Yeah."

"It is. I've been dealing with all of this...alone...for hundreds of years at this point I guess. Through stories that still write me as a teenager, or a middle-aged woman. I've lived and died over and over. I've been an artist, a writer, a dancer, a private investigator...I can't even remember the last time I got to go back to Port Geneva.

"And now that you're stuck in this hell too," your voice dropped to a whisper. "It made me sort of dread that for you too. Dread what kind of life that Writers might put you through, especially if your story in your show had a tragic ending like you said. They could give you everything you ever wanted, or they could just kill you again and again, for fun.

"And it's horrible and beautiful and great sometimes, but at the end of it all, it's tiring. Talking through it with you made me realize how much I wished I could be free, that maybe...maybe this Writer who brought me here would just be happy writing a story about the two of us for the rest of their lives or something. Spare us both anymore torture.

"Because at this point...I don't even know who I am anymore."

Your eyes welled with tears again and your shoulders heaved as you held back a sob.

And Eddie wished that he could tell you that he understood.

That his few days experience being aware that he was in a story could compare to everything that you'd seen.

He could tell you he appreciated your concern, that he felt that sense of dread that you felt for him. Assure you that he'd be fine. That it would be alright as long as you were in it together, just like you said.

But truthfully before hearing you say it right now, he hadn't come to that conclusion that he might be stuck in some endless loop of happiness and misery forever.

Because he did what he always did: he avoided the bad things. He ran away from this problem.

So what could say that could help you? That would make you feel better?

He wracked his brain for a moment, coming up with the right words.

But if there was anything Eddie did better than run away, it was say the right thing at the right time.

And he did.

"I know who you are," Eddie finally found his voice.

He took one of your hands in his and then cupped your cheek so you could look into his eyes.

"You might have forgotten who you are, but I know. I've always known. From the first time I saw you on screen, I felt such a connection to you."

He felt nervous, revealing his feelings to you. Confessing his fanatic behavior, his love for you. They were things he never said aloud to anyone and it made him nervous and vulnerable. Made him feel like he needed to run again. But your eyes glittered with unshed tears, and he knew he had to soldier on.

"Meeting you was like...the happiest day of my life. And you weren't anything that I expected, but everything I knew you were, deep down. And you...you've always seen the real me too, which is something very few people have the patience for. You're exactly who I've been waiting for.

"So maybe," he paused and cleared his throat. "Maybe we only have a few weeks together, or a few months, or maybe it'll be a few years for this Writer to give us a Happily Ever After. Maybe they'll put us through hell. But at least we're in it together. And I'll be here to remind you who you are if you ever forget, and to make sure you're not alone for as long as I can. As long as you promise that you'll do the same for me too."

In hindsight, a kiss was probably not the best end to his little declaration, but it felt right, so he did it anyway.

He leaned in and softly kissed your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then caught the softness of your lips between his.

The sound of your sigh, and the feeling of you melting against him, were the sweetest sensations he'd ever felt. It was a relief.

For a moment, right before he pulled away, Eddie felt a smug sense of superiority over everyone. All the writers who had made you question who you were, all of the love interests that they'd written for you--Alex P. Keaton could get fucked--and he resolved to make this a story for the ages, even if it never wound up on some fanfiction writer's page.

"Thank you Eddie," you whispered against his lips when all was said and done.

"We have a deal?"

"Yeah," you bit your lip and grinned at him. "It's a deal."

You backed away and, hands still locked together Eddie looked around the trailer park and sighed.

"So..." he scratched the back of his neck. "What happens now?"

Next Chapter: Reader Suggestions

There is no taglist for this series, please follow the STFF Updates tag or check the series out on AO3.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #stranger than (fan)fiction #stff #stff updates #stranger things fic

120 notes · View notes

skeletoninthemelonland · 5 months ago

Note

I've been following behind the codes for a while now; I took part in a Q&A on Twitter a while back!! I was wondering, Why springtrap? Like, I know he's one of your favorites and he's a cool villain, and it's intriguing him not knowing he's a killer and he is evil, and not knowing the man he is stopping (security guard) is himself. Why did you pick the main villain of the FNAF franchise? Was it to show there is good in evil? Or to change our perception of him?

Before it become official, Behind The Codes was another humorous way to talk about William's fate in UCN. He was always supposed to be the protagonist, and even as the story developed into something else, that never changed.

I enjoy writing characters who struggle with their own identities and sense of belonging, who are prompted to face their everyday lives despite their anxious thoughts. Characters that can be broken apart in brutal ways, and then forced to pick themselves up piece by piece. Sometimes they end up discovering more about themselves by learning to care for others around them, individuals who are just as fragmented and lost.

It's canon in the Behind The Codes universe that inside the digital dimension of Ultimate Custom Night, Springtrap is a person apart from Scraptrap, from Springbonnie and from the entity named William Afton.

It's ironic how splitting a person apart can create another. I called it the "Detachment Phenomenon". That's what I chose to work with in Behind The Codes, still very aware of the fact that viewers might initially believe that William and Springtrap are the same.

Still, even if they're separate characters, my intention is not to distinguish The Evil from The Good. It's more of a growing frustration. Nothing he does erases his past, but his actions in the present define the future — not just for him, but for those who need guidance. The fate is the same for all of them, but the adventure is worth it, more than any prize or resolve — "It was good while it lasted".

#inbox #behind the codes #starbstalks

54 notes · View notes

burningdaybreak · 29 days ago

Text

"BURN and CHILL" — The Duality of BAD DOGS

Hello everyone! First of all, I'm sorry for not posting a proper essay in the last two months; as I mentioned in my short post the other day, I lost motivation to write for a bit, then thought I should wait until Akito5 (or rather, Rekindle the flame) to post this... however, I think I won't add in Akito5 things after all except for some small things, and rather may write a proper essay about the event sometime soon. This essay had been pretty much done for a while now, but because of my small hiatus, it took me this long to post it. Sorry. (By the way, I fixed and finished this essay while taking breaks from tiering Akito5. I blame any mistakes on that.) Anyways... (Previous introduction) So, ever since I posted my last essay, my works have been getting quite a bit of attention, and I've gotten a lot of interactions and new followers, which makes me happy. I hope people have been enjoying what I write! The topic of this essay is Akito and Touya's duality and contrasts, both within themselves and with each other, which I believe is a pretty interesting topic. There's a lot to talk about here, so, let's get into it!

0. Introduction

Duality: the quality or state of having two different or opposite parts or elements.

When it comes to their characters, their designs, their personalities, and even individual stories, Akito and Touya are pretty much opposites; they contrast each other when it comes to all those aspects, and yet, they're completely inseparable. They are pretty much made to fit together, being two halves of the same whole. The contrasts and differences between each other — or in other words, the duality of their relationship, is basically what makes them perfect for each other, since what one lacks, the other makes up for, and with the other's help and support, they can push each other forward; this, in turn, makes them to be the best partner possible for the other, allowing each other to grow — together. And, through that, they become one, united through one of their common traits: their love for music, spawning a desire to sing with each other and nobody else, forever and ever; an inseparable couple with an unbreakable bond and a growing love for each other that won't be replaced by anybody else... Together, they become BAD DOGS! And so, in this essay, I will talk about their contrasts in a lot of parts of their characters: from the more mundane aspects, like school grades, to how they interact with others, and even their family backgrounds, among other things.

1. Character design

Starting from their very character designs, Akito and Touya are already opposites: their image colors, orange (#FF7721) and blue (#0077DD), are one of the primary complementary color pairs. Complimentary colors are combinations of cool and warm colors that, when placed together, they bring out the best in each other by making their complement more vibrant and noticeable. Even when it comes to their image colors, they're perfect for each other. The warm and cool aspects are also apparent in their designs, with their hair colors (Akito's orange and dyed-blonde hair V.S. Touya's dual-blue hair), both of their default outfits (Akito's outfit colors being predominantly warm colors, such as yellow, red, orange; while Touya's are predominantly cool colors, like purple and blue), and even their personalities, which I'll get into soon. Furthermore, we have BURN and CHILL, the words for Akito and Touya's World Link chapters' Top 100 ranking's titles, which makes their contrasts even more apparent and intentional. Speaking of their personalities, and their warm and cool natures, we also need to mention how Akito and Touya are themed after the sun and moon, respectively. Both of Touya's old and new default designs feature moon-related things, with both of them having "DerMond", which stands for The Moon in German; and his new design having "VERSTECKT MONAT" in the back.

Fun fact: "VERSTECKT MONAT" actually means Hidden Month, but it's likely they actually meant for it to say Hidden Moon, which would have had to be "VERSTECKT MOND"; this mistake possibly comes from the fact that the kanji for moon, 月, stands for both "month" and "moon".

On the other hand, Akito does not have direct associations with the sun in either of his designs like Touya does, but his new default design features the word "SCORCHING", which can be related to the sun. However, we can mention how Akito's last name, Shinonome (東雲), means "daybreak" or "sunrise", which does actually associate him with the sun in some form.

For other forms of sun & moon association in Akito and Touya, we have Akito's second event song, 月光 (Gekkou), translated to Moonlight, obviously being related to the moon; while ミライ (Mirai), Touya's second event song, features a sunrise in its song jacket, so it's related to the sun. Although Gekkou is not explicitly related nor referencing Touya (I talk about this song more in-depth in The Gay Akito Thesis™, if you'd like to learn more about it), I believe the fact that it can be related to Touya; symbolically, it fits Akito and Touya's relationship, and how Akito is chasing after Touya, to be on the same level as his partner, and how the moonlight (Touya) is guiding Akito and taking care of him, always watching over him and supporting him. On the other hand, Mirai (which means Future), a song representing Touya's journey with Vivid BAD SQUAD, and how has finally found a place that accepts him and that he feels comfortable in, a place where he can be himself — a place where they can laugh. Looking back fondly at everything they went through, grateful to everyone and wanting to keep all these memories close to him, and how he wants to keep walking alongside his friends, even in the future — therefore giving this name to the song. Once again, this song is not explicitly related to nor referencing Akito, but between the sunrise in the song jacket, and the lyrics referencing Touya's journey, which Akito is a very important part of, you could say this song can be related to Akito; he's the one that has always been with Touya, the one that showed Touya this new world, the one that brought back Touya's happiness and laughter, and the one that Touya wants to sing alongside with, forever and ever — in a way, Akito is Touya's future.

Another fun fact: Gekkou and Mirai are the only Vivid BAD SQUAD event songs where both Akito and Touya have Another Vocals at the same time, making this association with each other even further. RAD DOGS also has an Another Vocal for Akito and Touya, but it's a duet rather than solo alts, which is also a noteworthy fact because it's the only Akito + Touya duet Another Vocal.

Finally, even in their card sets, you can see how they're themed after each other's theme, with sunlight being a predominant theme in Same Dreams,Same Colors' cards, while moonlight is one of the main parts of Akito and Touya's cards in THE POWER OF UNITY's cards:

Final fun fact of this section: Speaking of Same Dreams,Same Colors, we can mention how Touya's card's costume is named Winter Camp Jacket, while Akito's is named Autumn Camp Jacket; this is a reference to their names as the kanji for "Tou" (冬) in Touya can also mean winter, and "Aki" is also the word for autumn or fall in Japanese. Coincidentally, Same Dreams,Same Colors was released on December 20, 2021, right before the Winter Solstice (December 21), which is when the fall season ends and the winter season begins, making it very fitting that both Touya and Akito were the main cards in the gacha banner.

Considering these two songs are the second event songs for each of them (that is, the second event song rotation), and they're themed after the other's theme in both songs and cards, along with both having Another Vocals in both songs, you could say they reference each other in these events, too.

2. Personality

When it comes to their actual personalities, they are also very like the sun and moon, with their characters even being themed after those: Akito is the sun, in the way he guides people — he fuels others' passions by the intensity of his own. Furthermore, he is the sun in the way that his fire often burns so bright and hot that it burns him along with it. He is very passionate and active and with a desire to shine the brightest, to be in the spotlight — the star of the show. Then, Touya is the moon, in the way that he's more gentle in his approach to things; mysterious at first glance, but often one of the brightest lights despite the darkness — with a soft, illuminating, and guiding presence — and who is somehow so perfectly positioned to match the sun. As an extra detail, the moon is allowed to shine thanks to the sun's light, which really fits Akito and Touya's relationship of Akito bringing back the light to Touya's life, allowing him to shine as his own person once more. And now, Akito is chasing after his partner's light — the moonlight, aiming to reach his level, to walk by his side and reach their dreams together. Even here, their relationship of giving and receiving is abundantly clear: Akito grants light and love to Touya, and to reciprocate, Touya wants Akito to rely on him too; to give back that light and love that was given to him. Chasing after each other, relying on each other, inspiring each other, guiding each other... this cycle of giving love and reciprocating that love is a core part of their relationship, and what makes them so inseparable.

However, when it comes to sun and moon, we should also talk about the usual sun / moon perception in fandoms, and how people interpret both Akito and Touya: In the traditional sense of the trope, "sun" characters are characters that are active, loud, cheerful, and often associated with dogs (more especifically golden retrievers); while, on the other hand, "moon" characters are characters that are viewed as cold, rude, harsh, and quiet, and associated with cats (normally black cats). From that description, I could say Akito is a bit like the moon in the way that he's more aloof, reserved, and "introverted", not bothering with matters that don't interest him and only really having a special spot for Touya (and only doing things if they somehow involve Touya), and being kind of rough and rude. Akito can also easily be associated with cats due to his double-faced personality, his fear of dogs, his reserved nature but affection for specific people, and his orange hair and green eyes, which is the most common pretty much default orange cat. Furthermore, Touya has been shown with a specific, stray orange cat a few times, which I believe is no coincidence...

Fun fact: 猫被り or nekokaburi, which means "wolf in sheep's clothing" or "feigned innocence", or directly translated as "donning a cat's mask", is an expression that Akito is officially referred by. In his paired Kizuna Rank title with Kohane, ハムハムと猫被り (Hamuhamu and Nekokaburi), hamuhamu is a word used to describe eating noises, and Kohane is also often associated with hamsters in the game, which this title definitely references, since hamu also means hamster. (Also hamsters make cute noises when they eat! Therefore, hamuhamu.) And so, one could think that nekokaburi isn't just a term to describe Akito's double-faced personality, but also to associate him with cats, due to the way some cats are that appear to be friendly, but can be aloof and temperamental, which really highlights the contrast between Akito's appearance and what he's truly like; giving this title a quite fitting double meaning — describing Kohane and Akito's personalities, but also associating both characters with those animals. However, this double meaning was sort of lost in the official English translation, as it was simply translated to "Hammie & Feigned Innocence"; although it's understandably difficult to translate it and keep the original meaning behind it.

Meanwhile, Touya is a bit like the sun in the way that he's bright and more "extroverted", curious to learn and try new things for the sake of experience, which you could associate with him being dog-like — a puppy-like innocence with a desire to interact with the new world around him, having been caged for many years. Furthermore, in the Project SEKAI×Sanrio Characters collab, Touya got a card with Pochacco the dog, and Akito himself compares Touya with Pochacco in his curiosity; not to mention the collab's 4koma featuring Touya with dog ears and a tail, which he is wagging out of excitement — he definitely seems like the kind of boy who needs a tail to wag. Touya is generally laid back, with a calm and quiet nature, but because of his inexperience, he has a tendency to wander into things for the sake of learning and experiencing new things. And so, he's more inclined to talking with people and helping others, which can lead one to believe Touya's similar to the sun. When it comes to the fandom and associating them with the sun and moon, people they often end up trying to shove them into the usual "boxes" of the common sun and moon tropes, often leading to mischaracterization, since they don't look at these characters any more deeply than a surface level read of them. As is usual for common sun characters, Akito is cheerful, loud, and active at a first glance, but there's more to him than that; furthermore, believing he's a "golden retriever-like" character just doesn't feel right. I'd say he's definitely very dog-like, despite his fear of dogs, but golden retrievers are more like dogs that are playful and friendly, which Akito really isn't; he's more of a dog in the sense that he's very loyal (to Touya), determined, and with a fiery and strong personality. He also lowkey likes getting praised by his partner. He's a lot like a dog... but I believe that, ultimately, he's not actually a dog — just that he acts like/wants to be like a dog. While Touya, as is usual for common moon characters, is quiet and with what can be interpreted as a scary and tough appearance, this is just the first impression of him as a person and not all there is to his true self. I could say he's a bit cat-like, but I believe the connection is weaker and most of the time comes from judging him on the surface (viewing him as a mysterious, quiet, withdrawn guy), and not taking into account his whole personality and development. However, the fact both of them can be associated with both dogs and cats is quite interesting and fun, and adds yet another contrast in themselves, and also between each other. A "cat that wants to be like a dog" (Akito) and a "dog that acts like a cat" (Touya) are simply perfect fits for them — very contradictory, which is a common theme in both of them. [Addition post-Rekindle the flame: in Kohane's 4✰ card's second side story, we have both Kohane and An commenting on how a cat really fits Akito, so we now have an explicit mention of Akito being like a cat... this is huge, really. Akito truly and intentionally is like a cat.]

Disregarding what animals they would theorically be, however, since it's not really important... thinking that Akito's the sun and Touya's the moon for the reasons I mentioned in the previous paragraphs isn't wrong, because they are the sun and moon, respectively; but if people believe there's nothing more to them than what is associated with the tropes, I think it shows a lack of understanding to the depth of their characters — it's a case of "judging books by their covers"; which is something Akito absolutely hates, by the way. Project Sekai's characters are characters that are in constant development, and they keep changing and growing as people as they explore the world around them and interact with their close ones and other people they meet. Growth is a very important theme among all the characters, so pushing them into singular boxes, or common tropes, or anything else, and not viewing any depth in them, is not really right. They are growing, they aren't simple people and there's more to them than meets the eye, so saying they are this or that will never be fully right. But in the end, when taking into account their whole characters and designs, Akito is the sun and Touya is the moon (as they are explicitly themed after these), but they have traits of the other even if they aren't themed after it — they kind of are "a sun that acts like the moon" and "a moon that acts like the sun", putting it simply. I think this makes them quite contrastful and very interesting characters; this depth leads to them being interpreted in many ways, and even if many of those interpretations aren't fully correct, it's interesting to see how people view these characters, and shows just how deep and complex they really are. They are a bit of everything, in my opinion, and I genuinely think they can't be boiled down to just one thing or another. The way I see it, they'd be more like a mix of a bunch of contradictory things... rather than fitting in just one, individual box.

Following up on the topic of the impression of their characters, Akito and Touya are also contrasting in the way they initially appear in the story, and how they subvert those expectations. When he first appears in Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story, Akito is shown acting surprisingly outward, friendly, relaxed, polite, and gentle, hiding his true nature... that is, showing a fake innocence (nekokaburi, which, as mentioned earlier, means "wolf in sheep's clothing" or "feigned innocence", and is a term that Akito has officially been referred by). In reality, Akito's a very serious guy, who doesn't mince his words, and acts mostly cold and rude to most people that aren't important to him (mainly his partner). He has a double-faced nature, so to say. This shows a duality within Akito himself, where he shows a good face to other people in order to keep a cordial relationship, and therefore avoid troublesome situations. This is pretty interesting as Akito is someone who really pushes himself to make up for what he lacks: he has no music experience, and in an attempt to reach the level of his teammates, he overworks himself; and in the same way, he makes up for his lack of interest in interacting with others by showing off a fake personality. There is more things Akito tries to make up for, such as attempting to seem tougher than he is and appearing stereotypically manly; however, that's a topic that will be brought up later. All of the aforementioned is so people won't judge him prematurely; Akito hates people that make fun of him and his skills, but most of all, of what's most important to him — that is, his dream. On the other hand, when Touya first appears, he's shown as a scarily quiet and reserved guy, who doesn't really talk nor show emotions. This directly contrasts Akito's (fake) outward and friendly personality, though it also contrasts Akito's true nature of not mincing his words and saying what he thinks. At first, Touya is a character who doesn't really express how he feels, whether on his face or verbally. After a childhood that was mainly spent dedicated to playing classical music, unable to ever satisfy his family's high expectations, Touya grew apart from his emotions and leading an unhappy life, until he finally grew tired of it and ran away. Meeting Akito was the beginning of getting back in touch with his emotions, being able to enjoy music once again by singing with him, and everyone's kindness and support showing him that he can now be his own person. Touya then slowly learns how to show his feelings, becoming a happier person than he was in the past thanks to his partner, his friends, and everyone else that supports him, showing his true nature as a boy with a curiosity to explore the world around him and learn new things about himself and everything that surrounds him, and with a desire to repay the kindness of everyone that has helped him become his own person. This shows a contrast within Touya himself, too, between his sad, past self, and his happy, current self. Comparing his current personality, such as in his recent focus event Let It Ring! Beautiful Sound!, and his personality back when he met Akito, as shown in the VIRTUAL SINGER World Link event At the Beginning of SEKAI With You, in Len's chapter, is like night and day; Touya is much happier and cheerful nowadays, all thanks to his partner.

For contrasts between each other, we have the fact that Akito is insecure about himself and masks his true self, both through a feigned innocence, and by making up for his weaknesses; while Touya is more genuine and simply showing himself as he is, now confident in his own person. We also have the fact that, despite their first impressions, with Akito being more friendly, and Touya being more cold, the tables are turned and Akito is actually the more introverted and reserved person, mainly keeping to himself and being mostly cold to others, while Touya is more extroverted and always down to interact with others. But that doesn't mean Akito's exclusively reserved, since he still very much has an active, passionate, and fiery personality; and Touya isn't simply outward and someone who talks with others easily, he's still quiet and calm. This shows how contrasting their own personalities are, too. As a funny mention, Akito does end up often doing things and interacting with people he normally wouldn't do so because of Touya, folding pretty easily when Touya asks him to do something by simply saying "Akito.", or doing things if they are even mildly related to his partner. His partner ends up being a source of motivation quite often.

🥞 So… I'm only helpin' you out here for Touya's sake, alright.

And we also have Touya often being kept in check by Akito, with the latter sort of overprotecting Touya and looking after him at all times. In the end, even in funny ways, they make up for each other's faults, and they help the other grow and improve and be better versions of themselves — that's what being partners is about, after all. Yet another interesting contrast to mention is how they approach problems: Touya has been shown to have a predisposition to run away from and avoid troublesome things that he doesn't know how to face. The main example of this is in Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story, where rather than telling Akito how he feels, Touya instead lied to him, which resulted in BAD DOGS' temporary break up. Touya believed that lying to his partner would be better than disappointing him, and so, he ran away from his feelings, and from Akito. Touya was afraid of facing his partner and telling him about those feelings he dislikes. He was scared that Akito wouldn't accept those feelings, that he would leave him; but he also thought Akito deserved a better partner than him, someone who wasn't so half-hearted. He kept running away from his feelings: not just from telling them to his partner, but also from how he really felt, since he did actually love music, and enjoyed singing with Akito, and wanted to chase his dream — their dream, together. But Akito's recklessness and refusal to give up on them allowed Akito and Touya to become partners once again. Akito accepts Touya no matter what, even though he never believed Touya was half-hearted and always believed in him; and he makes Touya voice how he really feels.

☕ Gh…! Isn’t it obvious that I want to…! I’ve felt that so many times! I wanted to chase that dream with you as far as I could…!

Despite that, Touya was still unsure about being partners with Akito, but Akito won't allow any other outcome; they both know how they feel, they both want to be together, and that's all that matters:

🥞 Oh, shut up already. Don’t go makin’ this complicated. I want to be with you, and you want to be with me as well. And after that, our dream will come true. … Isn’t that enough?

With his partner by his side, Touya will no longer run away from how he really feels, and keep singing with Akito, no matter what, for years to come.

Another example of Touya's predisposition to run away is back before meeting Akito, when he ran away from home because he couldn't handle the stress of living under the pressure of his family's expectations. However, the regrets of that choice haunted him for a long time, affecting him and his self-confidence, preventing him to be proud of himself and his works. Fortunately, he's now gotten to terms with it, and accepts both classical music and the fact that he ran away. This is something he can't change, but he now accepts it as part of himself: he may regret running away from classical music, but he realizes that, as long as he enjoyed that time, he shouldn't beat himself up over it, and instead use it as his weapon — his feelings and experiences will allow him to become a better version of himself, and create stuff he can be proud of.

"My past has become my strength."

Akito, on the other hand, faces things head on, and more often than not, in a reckless way; such as participating in the Crawl Green live, despite only having been singing for a year and definitely not having enough skill for it, because Shepard challenged him and he had a pride to uphold; or how years later he faced that same team challenged him to a duel and, despite winning, he immediately went running and didn't celebrate his victory because he can't be satisfied with his current skill level. He's a guy that does things on the spur of the moment: he follows his own code (or, in other words, his heart), and does what he truly wants — what he feels is right. Suddenly quitting soccer, and suddenly deciding to dedicate his whole life to singing... and also confronting people because he's not satisfied with how things went (confronting Touya in Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story), or approaching his friends because he feels something is wrong, like An in Someday, with Our Lyrics Joined Back-to-Back and Bout for Beside You, and Arata in THE POWER OF UNITY. Akito can feel when something's going wrong with others, and often confronts them to know what's up. However, that recklessness makes him charge ahead when he's not satisfied with nor believes in himself, and he ignores his own feelings and even his health because of it. Calm down, boy... Fortunately, with his partner and teammates by his side, Akito doesn't have to recklessly rush ahead; he now has friends with the same goal as him, and with them by his side, even when he feels lost and helpless, he can rely on them — they'll help him back up, and support him along the way. They are a team that walks together.

☕ So, in those times where you've hit a wall… rely on me more!

And yet, when it comes to facing other people, Touya is predisposed to help others and interacting with them; if someone needs help, he's likely to accept right away, because he enjoys experiencing new things and likes repaying favors. The main case of this would be Walk on and on, Touya's third focus event, where Touya decides to learn how to compose his own tracks, in order to be able to help his team in some way, and at the same time show his gratitude to them — especially his partner — and how much he appreciates them by pouring his feelings onto his music. Some other minor examples of this are Let's study hard !, where Touya was going to help Akito and An with their studies no matter what (since he's always worried about their grades and them studying properly), and even invited Rui to help tutor Tsukasa, Akito, and An along with him. Or in Take the Best Shot !, where Touya helps Kohane with the photography competition she's entering in order to win special chocolates for An... In short, Touya is a person who is inclined to help others, and likes to give back to everyone, grateful for everything they've done for him. Meanwhile, Akito is mainly wary when it comes to interacting with people that he isn't close to (which is... most people that aren't Touya), and he would rather avoid troublesome things that don't interest him. However, when he does something, he does give it his all — he doesn't like half-assing things. For example, in Rise as ONE! where, despite his fear of dogs, he trains very hard to do his best at the dog disc competition because he related to the bond the injured owner had with his dog Max, which really shows, uh... Akito's one-track mind when it comes to his partner and how passionate he is about him. As mentioned earlier, Akito often ends up doing things he normally wouldn't because of Touya or something related to him, either getting convinced by Touya and giving in pretty quickly, or because his one-way brain somehow relates something random to his partner. So, a guy who runs away, avoiding his problems; and another who recklessly rushes ahead, facing his problems head on... yet, at the same time, the former is always up to help others and engaging with other people, while the latter avoids interacting with troublesome things.

Finally, we can also mention their social skills — or in simpler terms, how they are "book smart vs street smart": Touya has a lot of knowledge, and is very smart and studious, but he has a total lack of experience in socialising due to his isolated childhood and barely interacting with other people, so he comes off a bit more clumsy and awkward in those settings. He's more experienced in studying rather than interacting with people; but at the same time, this lack of experience is what predisposes him to interact with others and learning more about them, always available to talk to anybody and help them, in order to experience new things. On the other hand, Akito is more versed in interacting with people, with a more regular upbringing — having had to live "by his own means" in the streets to gain experience and make a name for himself, interacting with and facing many kinds of people; that, along with his "customer service face" and general double-faced nature, allows him to socialize well with most people. However, when it comes to school studies... he's not very good! He doesn't really care about studying and is more about living his life to the full — which Touya isn't quite happy about... but then Akito will put in effort for once and make Touya smile brighter than ever and Akito becomes a blushing mess upon being complimented... they're so funny. With that difference in socialization, they make up for each other, with Akito doing "most of the talking", as Touya says; and they contrast each other, too, even when it comes to how they face studying, with Touya helping Akito... although not often by Akito's choice, as Touya takes studies very seriously and will get mad at Akito if he fails. And so, they are quite opposites when it comes to how they deal with problems, and how they face and interact with other people. They keep each other in check; when one runs, the other will catch up, and when one is held back, the other will push him ahead. Those differences in personality actually help them understand each other perfectly: they support each other, and help each other grow, and will always be there for the other... that's what being partners is all about, in the end.

3. Background

Even in their backgrounds, Akito and Touya contrast each other, having had pretty different experiences with both music and their relationships with their family: As we know, Akito fell in love with music and decided to dedicate his whole life to it despite having no skill or experience. But despite that, Akito is determined and passionate to accomplish his dreams, and works extremely hard to improve and reach his goals. Even when he's on the brink of giving up, Akito will keep pushing forward, no matter what, because he finally found something that he truly wants to do — something that finally makes him feel alive; and alongside his partner, he'll keep singing... forever. On the other hand, Touya has lived with music since he was young, being a born prodigy and with a lot of musical experience. Dedicating most of his time to playing music, though, for around ten years, he ended up growing tired of this lifestyle, isolated from a "regular" life and frustrated at his inability to ever reach his parents' expectations, and it led him to run away from music. However, despite thinking otherwise after running away from it, Touya still loved music; although he was afraid of disappointing his partner, just like he disappointed his family in the past, and thought Akito deserved a partner who wasn't as half-hearted as Touya believed he himself was, Akito makes him realize that he still loves music. Nobody who hated music would dedicate as much time and effort as Touya did during those two years where they sang together. Touya finally realizes he actually loves music, and, most of all, singing alongside his partner; although he regrets some choices he made in the past, he learns that he can use his past as his "weapon" — his experiences are unique to him, and so they will become his strength. With this, he'll improve both himself and his music, in order to achieve his dreams — the dreams he shares with Akito. Or, in other words, their dreams.

☕️ Let's go, Akito. Let's make our dreams come true.

When comparing their music backgrounds, a really interesting point of contrast is their innate talent for music, and their relationship with music. Although he was the one that is a born prodigy and extremely gifted with music, it was Touya that briefly came to hate music; and Akito, who didn't have an innate ability for it, was the one who was so dedicated to his love for it that it even ended up hurting him at times. They were both hurt by music, but in different ways: because of their talent, or lack thereof. And yet, they both love music so much they couldn't help but keep fighting to stay with it. They love music so much, they want to keep singing and making music for as long as they live — with the best partner they both could ask for by their side.

When it comes to their family background, and their relationships with their families, there's also many contrasts between Akito and Touya. Touya's family is more traditional and strict with how they raised and educated Touya, expecting him to continue the family tradition of becoming renowned classical musicians. He had a very isolated life: dedicating most of his time to this objective — an objective that he believed he could never reach due to the difference in skill level between him and his father. Exhausted and unsatisfied by this constrained lifestyle, he ended up running away from both classical music and that life. An important detail to mention is, although he wasn't happy with that life, and felt guilt and regret over running away from it for a long time, Touya does not hate either classical music or his father, which is something the fandom often misinterprets. Despite everything he went through, Touya doesn't reject either classical music, and still appreciates it, even if he doesn't have a desire to actively play it anymore. He is grateful for all the knowledge and experience it granted him, and appreciates his family regardless. Opposite to Touya, though, Akito's family raised him with more freedom — or rather, less strictly, and less worried about him. Unlike Touya's father, who was a big presence in Touya's life and education, Akito's father, Shinei, was quite absent, instead occupied by his job as an artist; so you could say the Shinonome family lacked a father figure. Furthermore, even when he was there, Shinei wasn't very good as a parent: when Akito's sister, Ena, expressed the wish to become an artist like their father, instead of encouraging and motivating her as a good parent would, he instead discouraged her in the worst way possible, effectively ruining her life. Although we later find out that it was because the life of an artist is very rough and Shinei didn't want his daughter to also experience those hardships, he really didn't express it well at all.

With a father that was mostly absent, and who barely carried his role as a father well, the Shinonome family did not really have a male role model that taught and guided the children of the family. So, despite being the younger brother, Akito pretty much took up the role of a "male role model" for his sister, supporting and looking after her as she lived a life with the regret of being unable to carry out her dream. This, in turn, led him to have a warped view on masculinity and gender roles, which will be elaborated on in the next section. Unlike Touya's family, where Harumichi (Touya's father) had high expectations for his children, and wanted Touya to continue the family tradition of becoming classical musicians just as his brothers previously did, Akito's family had a father that did not want his children to follow in his steps, and neither parent had particular expectations for their children and instead allowed them to do what they wanted. This leads to a curious contrast, where Touya mainly lived a strict and difficult life and, upon fleeing from it, became more free and able to do what he wanted, while Akito (and Ena) lived a very free life, where they were allowed to do what they wanted, with no expectations or rules for them, and yet chose to focus on a difficult goal for which they weren't experienced or talented for — Touya fled from a cage, and Akito and Ena chose to place themselves in one, in a metaphorical way. However, Akito instead found a male role model in a different person: Ken-san, the man that ignited a fire in him upon witnessing RAD WEEKEND, and also the one that motivated Akito to keep singing when he was on the brink of giving up, pushing him forward and giving him the advice to do what he loves, regardless of what others think. Akito truly respects and appreciates Ken-san's guidance, being extremely excited and immediately agreeing to being trained by him in BURN MY SOUL — there's no bigger honor for Akito than to be taught by the man that contributed so much to his life... Ken-san is, in a way, a second father to him.

In contrast to the comparison between Shinei and Harumichi and the education of their children and their expectations for them, Ken-san plays a positive role on Akito as a person, motivating him to follow his dream and guiding Akito forward, and allowing him to be true to himself, while Harumichi wasn't such a positive influence in Touya's life, where, rather than motivating Touya, he mainly pressured him to be a specific way and didn't give him room to grow. To finish off, Ken-san's positive influence can be broadly associated to Vivid Street and all the people living there: with a community that is united by music and the freedom to sing as you like, Akito, Touya, and everyone else are able to be free — be themselves, and have as much fun as possible, without worrying about labels or expectations. Vivid Street is pretty much like a big family, especially to An, and they accept and support anybody who wishes to express themselves through music. Although derailing a bit from the current topic, Vivid Street is interesting in the way that it can work as a queer community allegory: a community that allows the Vivid BAD SQUAD kids to be and find themselves and supporting them to show their true selves. Besides An, who lived there to begin with, the other Vivid BAD SQUAD kids all grew and figured out stuff about themselves singing in Vivid Street, away from their homes — from their previous lives, so to say; away from the regular life that wanted them to stick to rules and norms, labels, and usual expectations. As mentioned before, in Vivid Street, they can sing freely, having as much fun as they want, and without worrying about anything — they can just be themselves, and do what they truly want to do: sing along with their partners, and reach their dreams together. And nothing else matters! They're just them, regardless of what others think; and that's what's important, in the end.

4. Gender

(Disclaimer: This section may repeat things from the previous section; this is because I wrote this one first.) Following up on the queer topic, a very interesting yet possibly controversial topic is how both Akito and Touya view and interact with gender, whether directly or indirectly. Masculinity, gender roles, and conforming to those... it's quite interesting to think about. While I've already talked quite a bit about this topic in The Gay Akito Thesis™, my aim here is to compare Akito and Touya's characters. Also because I like talking about this topic. On the topic of Akito and gender, I talk about it more in-depth in The Gay Akito Thesis™, so I recommend checking that essay for a wider look at the topic, but the most essential part is that Akito's writing is very gendered; it is a very ingrained part of Akito's character, whether intentionally or not. The way he hides and even ignores his feelings and emotions and how he hates crying, viewing those as weaknesses and ashamed of showing any sign of being weak or uncool in front of others, are typical elements of traditional masculinity. He also often deals with his problems with anger, and sometimes aggressiveness, and showing frustration, which are more "socially acceptable" for men traditionally. He even used to exhibit behavior that can be interpreted as toxic masculinity in the past, saying things that can be seen as homophobic — which can be easily related to insecurity of his own sexuality and what others could think of it, since it comes off that way rather than actual bigoted behavior. (Fortunately, that kind of behavior hasn't popped up at all in a long time, proving he's not a bigot and was just insecure) Akito's very reserved when it comes to how he feels, and insecure about himself, viewing himself as "weak" and "not good enough", therefore actively trying to be masculine to make up for his faults and flaws. Even though I don't think anybody else would really mind his real self, Akito is not satisfied with himself, and others making fun of him and his goals got to him, so he ended up ingraining traditionally masculine traits onto himself to appear cool, strong, and manly to others. This overly masculine behavior can quite easily be associated with his sexuality and gender, more specifically to homosexuality and transexuality and insecurity of those, although those fall more into personal interpretation territory; however, I deeply believe these queer readings fit into Akito's character and story perfectly, and even enhance it (as I explain in The Gay Akito Thesis™). Akito actively tries to be masculine, to conform to "normal" masculinity, and hiding and avoiding his feelings and emotions to not be seen as weak by others. He's not satisfied with himself and how he thinks others view him, therefore he'll show himself as someone that can't be made fun of, someone that others will take seriously, and show everyone just how strong and determined he really is. He'll become someone that he himself can be satisfied with.

This is not to say that Akito isn't cool, strong, or manly, though, those are very much part of himself; but, deep down, Akito's an insecure person who doubts himself and his abilities, and his arc is all about getting to terms with how far he has come and getting in touch with his emotions and showing them to everyone to become a better version of himself, and accepting himself — learning that he's good enough and that there's no need to try so hard. He is fine just like he is, both how he feels inside and how he shows himself to others — they are all part of him, and he should be more confident in his abilities, and himself. On the other hand, Touya's gender is... a pretty debated topic in the fandom, so to say. Contrary to Akito, Touya does not really care about gender norms or roles, he's not particularly focused on how he shows himself to others nor if the stuff he does, such as wearing make up or carrying plushies around, are not "masculine". However, Touya himself is a masculine character. While Akito actively tries to be masculine, Touya has been raised in more traditional values, which leads him to be an inherently masculine character. The youngest son of the Aoyagi family... that's who Aoyagi Touya is, and that's a pretty important part of his character. The more conscious parts of his character, such as the expectations of carrying on the Aoyagi family tradition of becoming a classical musician just like his older brothers did; and the more unconscious parts, such as growing apart from his emotions and not showing them in the past, and expressing his frustration through anger rather than crying... these are all related to masculinity and traditional gender norms.

Fun fact: Touya is the only character who has not canonically cried at any time (as of writing this essay). In fact, his Live2D model is straight up not able to cry at all — he just can't cry (yet).

Touya being inherently masculine can be associated to the fact that he was raised in a family that was predominantly composed of men: his father, and his two older brothers. His mother takes on the more traditional role of a housewife, and therefore likely didn't have much of a role in Touya's education; it was mostly Touya's father who was in charge of teaching him, and so Touya ended up inheriting a lot of his father's values. But, Touya ends up running away from classical music, and by extension, that lifestyle. Meeting Akito was the first step — into a new life that he is happy, into a new world where he can find himself, away from that life that didn't allow him to be the happy little boy he was meant to be. By Akito's side, Touya slowly learns to be himself: figuring out what he's like, recovering the joy and happiness in his life, and bringing back the little boy in him that was never allowed out and is so curious to explore and interact with the world around him. And so, we go back to his gender: no longer held back by an unsatisfying life, Touya is now a guy who is very excited to learn new things and satiating his curiosity, and he's not held back by things being "not masculine" or "girly"; he has no problem trying out wearing make up, for example. In general, Touya seems like a character who does not really care about his gender, which often leads to the fandom to interpret him as girly and feminine, and even a woman — however, that's far from the truth. He's not afraid of trying out "feminine" things or having "cute" hobbies; he doesn't let how those things are viewed hinder him, and he simply doesn't care about how others view him. He just wants to be himself and enjoy his life. As it currently stands, he does not want to be a girl, and still views himself as a guy. He just doesn't really care about things like "gender" the same way Akito is. In the end, it's fine to headcanon or interpret characters any way you want, but I believe Touya's story and character mainly work because he's the son of the Aoyagi family, and as a boy, the expectations for him were higher; the guilt of going against the tradition, of disappointing his family, and most importantly, his father, have the weight on him that they do because he's a man, as (unfortunately) the society he lives in has higher expectations from men than women.

Running away from the traditional values of his family and the family tradition, and from society's expectations — with Touya slowly finding himself surrounded by a community of people that value him and allow him to be himself, not worried about the gender norms or his gender, along with the deep bond he has with his same-sex partner — really adds a very easy queer reading to his story and character. In short, Touya is confident in how he is, and comfortable in his current gender — he's just curious and excited to try new things, and not insecure about or held back by typical gender norms (like Akito is). He's totally fine and happy doing those things even as a man and that is, possibly, the epitome of masculinity. Akito and Touya both interact with their gender and identity in quite different ways, leading to more contrasts between their characters: Akito is a guy who actively tries to be masculine, while Touya is a guy who is inherently masculine. This likely comes, in part, from how they were raised: with Akito being raised with more liberty to do what he wanted, in a family that didn't look after him that much, and in a predominantly female family (his mother and sister), since his father was mostly absent due to work; while Touya was raised a lot more stictly by his father, and having a predominantly male family (father and brothers), with his mother not having much of a say on Touya's education and simply acting as a mother figure for him. This leads Akito to try very hard to be more masculine and take on a more typical male role when his unconfident and unsatisfied personality increase, with a harsh world that keeps trampling over him despite his sincere feelings. He doesn't want to be seen as weak or pathetic, therefore he'll show everyone just how strong and cool he is. Meanwhile, Touya is indifferent towards his masculinity and gender, wanting to explore the new world around him regardless of what others think. He's not worried at all about how others see him, he just wants to learn more about everything that he finds interesting. However, that doesn't mean he rejects his masculinity or gender — he's just not worried about it and very confident in how he is. This contrast, though, also leads to interesting situations between both of them, such as Akito, despite being more stubborn and embarrassed about his gender, he often sacrifices a little bit of embarrassment for Touya's sake when there's something his partner wants to do (for example, the photo print in Close game/OFFLINE where Akito and Touya had to pose cutely, but Akito sacrificing his dignity in order to win); or Touya, who's more carefree and doesn't worry about how others view him and gender (for example, him carrying around plushies he wins at crane games and Akito worried about how Touya will be seen as others (due to Akito's own insecurity), but Touya not really understanding what Akito's talking about, since he doesn't really care about those things).

In summary, the contrasts between Touya and Akito's genders and how they view it and interact with it are: Touya, although inherently masculine and raised more traditionally and strictly, does not really worry about how others view him and simply wants to enjoy himself, be himself, and explore the world around him, regardless of what others think — which, in a way, makes him truly masculine, as he's confident in how he really is. While Akito, raised more freely and allowed to do what he wants, really worries about how others view him and what they think of him — so he actively tries to conform to typical masculinity and gender roles, masking his insecurities, in an effort to not be mocked by others. This does not deny his manly self, though, and all the ways that Akito shows himself are a part of him — and it's part of his character development to come to terms with how he truly feels and accepting himself, as has happened more recently, with Akito being more confident and showing how he feels to others. Once again, they're pretty much opposites, but as two guys with a deep bond, who interact with and acknowledge each other's feelings, they support each other and grow as people — and as partners. These differences in how they view themselves, and each other, enhance their bond and make it stronger, as they can make up for what the other lacks. Despite the stereotype that men don't show how they feel (although their conflict during the main story is exactly due to their lack of communication), Akito and Touya are really in touch with their feelings, both their own and their partner's, and a big part of their arcs and their story together is about figuring out their feelings and finding themselves. While they don't explicitly show how they feel often, they don't have to — their relationship is so strong and deep, they don't need to put into words how they feel (though, deep down, they still would like to hear it...). And that, in a way, defies typical masculinity; their relationship itself goes against gender norms, and, for good reason, often leads it to be interpreted beyond a regular friendship... they truly love and care about each other. They're the best partner they could have, and the only one they ever want to be with.

5. Love

(Yet again, I am talking about love; sorry, I love this topic. As a disclaimer: it's quite similar to what I write about this topic in previous essays, so this section can be skipped if you're tired of the topic. However, I feel like it's something I must add, as it is relevant to the main point of the essay.) How Akito and Touya love, and also view love, also contrasts each other. I've brought up in various essays before, but a specific set of lines from Aun no Beats, a song that Akito and Touya cover, perfectly represents them:

🥞♪ Why do I want to be loved? ☕️♪ Why do I want to love?

Although it's not just this set of lines that represents them and their relationship, but the song in general (which I talk about in my previous essay, Aun no Beats & BAD DOGS' Relationship), these two lines exactly represent the very core of themselves and their relationship with love and, by extension, each other. Akito is a character driven by love. He only wants to do things he's truly passionate about, something that will make his heart beat — and when he truly cares about something, he will give it his all, putting all his effort and love into it. He is, then, a very loving character. Even if he's not "loved back", he doesn't back down or give up on doing what he loves; he listens to his heart, at all costs, doing what he wants to do, regardless of what others think. And yet, despite that burning passion and love, he wants that love to be reciprocated — he wants to be loved in the same way that he loves. Meanwhile, Touya is a character that grew up without love, estranged from his emotions and feelings. He led a life where the passion and love he held for music, for his family, for living slowly vanished, due to a lack of appreciation and freedom from the people around him. Actually, in a way, Touya was loved — but rather than as a person, it was for his talents and his potential. Therefore, Touya grew up without knowing what real love was like. However, meeting Akito, seeing his passion and love for music and for him, and Touya being appreciated for what he is, by both his partner and the new people he meets, allows Touya to find a place where he can be comfortable showing his emotions and feelings. So, Touya learns what love truly is like — and because of that, he wants to love, too; to give back to those that helped him break free from his past: Tsukasa (who Touya considers his savior) and Saki; and those that allowed him to be himself and appreciate and love him for what he is: Kohane, An, the town, his friends, and, most importantly, his partner, Akito. Akito and Touya, then, contrast in their relationship with love: Akito loves (music, the town and other people, etc.) while Touya is loved (by music, the town and other people, etc.); yet Akito wants to be loved, while Touya wants to love — or in other words, they want to receive and give back, respectively, from/to others and, most important, their partner. Their relationship with each other is, in short, one of mutual affection and love — of giving and receiving. Akito and Touya provide to the other what they want and need; they give and receive what they lack, while in turn receiving it from and giving it to their partner. While this point is about love, it also applies to many other things; they genuinely complete each other, making up for each other's shortcomings. They are truly perfect fits for each other, leading to an extremely strong and unbreakable relationship together.

I also wanted to take this chance to talk a bit about their relationship and its common interpretations. Although I've mentioned it many times before, their relationship is not inherently romantic. The concept of partners in Project Sekai is not a romantic partner, but rather, a companion or very close friend — that is, "aibou" (相棒, partner). The concept of aibou is pretty interesting because it is something very special: someone you're extremely close to, and the one and only person you want to be with. It's a very special bond that actually goes beyond a regular friendship — we see this in the way that An considers Haruka her best friend, which raises some brows considering how Kohane is so special and important to her, but this leads to the conclusion that an aibou simply transcends friendship. (Although, I genuinely believe Akito and Touya are not just partners, but also each other's best friends — there simply isn't anybody else they're closer to than each other! They truly mean everything to each other.) Even though it's not inherently romantic, Akito and Touya (and also An and Kohane)'s bond is so close and deep, it just feels like it is sometimes. I believe, rather than being merely platonic or merely romantic, it's more like the lines of the relationship is quite blurred, and this leads to being aibou. Putting it in a simple and funny (yet accurate) way, the concept aibou is not romantic at all, but they're just so gay and crazy about their partners that it becomes gay anyways. The bond between Akito and Touya is simply insane. Akito fell in love instantly with Touya; he knew from the first moment he saw him that he was the one — the one he wanted to partner up with.

🥞 (… I can't take my eyes off him.)

And upon singing with Akito, Touya also felt a special connection with him. Even though he wasn't aware of it at first, Touya, too, wanted to be with Akito, and forever be with him — and he would become aware of it later, and completely change him and his view of his partner. Akito fell first, and Touya fell harder, so to say. To put into perspective how insane their bond is: in Len's chapter from At the Beginning of SEKAI With You (the VIRTUAL SINGER World Link event), we find out that the Street Sekai versions of Rin and Len appeared because of Akito and Touya's bond as partners and how close they were to one another... Considering the only concrete lore across all depictions of the Kagamines is that they are reflections of one another and instrinsically linked, it really goes to show how close Akito and Touya were right from the start (or, perhaps, how close they were fated to become): they are pretty much meant to be with one another. (Disclaimer, just in case: This is in no way talking about anything romantic involving the Kagamines, and rather comparing Akito and Touya's platonic and partner bond with them.) To finish off, returning to talking about love and contrasts: Akito doesn't particularly love himself, not being confident in his skills and being insecure about being seen as weak and uncool; and yet, he pushes through and is confident on what he wants to achieve, always looking ahead and wanting to push past his limits. He, in a way, looks for this love for himself he lacks from others, wanting to be admired and loved. Similarly, Touya doesn't hold himself in high regard, with his past mistakes dragging him down and thinking he's not worthy of being Akito's partner; but, upon realizing his feelings and how he's loved and appreciated by Akito, he becomes confident on how he feels and what he wants to do — aiming to reach his dreams along with his partner. He knows he wants to be by Akito's side, for years to come, experiencing new things alongside him and giving back everything that Akito has given him. They're quite similar in this regard, in the way they're both unconfident on themselves, and yet, are confident on their goals and what they want to do. Eventually, though, they both improve on how they feel about themselves: with Akito learning to stop a bit and appreciate how far he has come — having become a source of inspiration for others because of how hard he was worked to reach where he is; and Touya accepting those regrets that hold him down, realizing that those are something he can't change and a part of himself — with his unique experiences giving him a special strength. In short, love is a very integral part of Akito and Touya, both in their own characters, and in their relationship. Despite their contrasting experiences, their individual love for music and for each other really shape them as people; their common feelings making their relationship very strong and inseparable — a relationship where they complete one another. Their deep and undying love for each other makes them, after all, the best partner they both could ask for.

6. Other noteworthy contrasts

Finally, we have a section about extra contrasts that didn't really fit into any other section:

To begin with, we can talk about Walk on and on, Touya's third focus event. In that event, Touya gives making his own music a try, and after learning how to create his own tracks through sampling, he shows his creation to the rest of Vivid BAD SQUAD; with this track, he wanted to convey his feelings of gratefulness to Akito and his teammates, for remaining by his side all this time, and for supporting him and allowing him to be himself. While he doesn’t think it’s that good, everyone else really likes it, with Akito praising his partner for his good work, and saying really wants to sing this song. Touya says he’s especially thankful to Akito; for finding him after he had left classical music, and telling him it’s okay to sing by his side.

☕ I realized how lucky I am to still be singing with my partner… I was able to make this song because I wanted to be at his side, as his partner, for years to come.

Thanks to Akito, he didn’t quit music, and is extremely grateful that he is able to keep singing next to his partner; he wants to continue being Akito’s partner forever; and that is why he was able to make this track.

☕ Akito, you’re the best partner I could ever ask for.

This event is really special as it shows how special the bond between Touya and Akito is, and just how inseparable they are. They're truly the best partner possible for each other.

Fun fact related to Utsuro wo Aogu (Walk on and on's commissioned song): in the Master chart, the Full Combo total note number is 1112; coincidentally, Akito and Touya's character IDs are 11 and 12, respectively. Furthermore, Akito's birthday is November 12, aka 11/12 (or, depending where you live, 12/11), so the song's total note count matches Akito and Touya's IDs, and also Akito's birthday. This is definitely very intentional, considering the plot of the event and the costumes (which I'll talk about next), so this song is pretty much like a song dedicated to Akito and Touya's bond, and also a song dedicated to Akito especifically. This is so sweet... (This is vaguely unrelated but adding this for adair. And because I really like this fact)

Now getting to the point: with Walk on and on came the From on a perch Gacha card set. The cards from this set have a lot of symbolism, and I do talk about them in various of my previous essays, especially when it comes to the freedom and captivity themes. But leaving aside the freedom and captivity themes, as I have a series of essay for those themes, their designs also hold quite a bit of symbolism.

The main design themes of the set are birdcages and crows, with the characters' outfits predominantly being black and white. Touya (and Kohane) wears mainly white, while Akito (and An) wears mainly (or only, in An's case) black, showing a mirror between the each partner pair's outfits. In addition, Kohane and An's cards feature white crows, while Touya's card features black crows (and Akito himself), dividing them into two pairs. A special detail about this card set's outfits, though, is something that can't be seen at first sight: they feature wings on their backs. More specifically, each of the Vivid BAD SQUAD members has one wing on their backs, although Akito and An's wings can only be seen vaguely in Touya's card and her own card, respectively; but considering the context, it can be assumed they both have a wing that matches and mirrors their own partner's, making a pair of wings when they're together — becoming one.

(Touya's outfit, Melody Walker. The first picture is the default look, while the second picture is his Master Rank 1 (MR1) variant.) Furthermore, if you look at Touya's costume MR1 variant, it features Akito's image color (orange) where the default outfit's blue is, and the black and white elements of the shirt itself are mirrored. Moreover, the wing on the back is the exact same color as the default outfit's, but mirrored. The other Master Rank variants don't match the wing's color or even form a pair with it, so this really suggests Touya and Akito are meant to match, showing how they contrast each other. (This is also the case with Kohane's outfit and her MR1 variant, and Kohane and An's colors and the wings, but theirs are white rather than gray.) Also, these designs may be based on the concept of Jian (鹣), also known as birds that fly wing to wing or lovebirds (比翼鳥), are mythical birds that possess only one eye and one wing. They are often used as a metaphor to refer to a beloved couple in Chinese culture and tradition. These creatures are born imperfect, and they need to lean against each other and act as one in order to be able to fly. Their mutual dependence is eternal, lasting through death and rebirth. They are believed to be symbols of the complementary relationship between yin and yang. To finish off, crows are also a curious choice because crows are animals that mate for life — and in the story, Touya said to Akito he wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with Akito for the rest of his life, which is where the crows are landing on, in Touya's card — Akito and Touya's shoulders, where their wings would be. They're truly meant to be together forever... (credits to adair for telling me about the jian birds stuff. this is kinda crazy really)

Now for more minor contrasts, we have Find A Way Out's card set, Break the Chain Gacha. In this card set, the characters wear black rider/biker costumes, and then blue or red layers; Akito (and Kohane) wear red, while Touya (and An and Luka) wear blue under their biker jackets. This makes the partners contrast with each other, with Akito and Kohane wearing the warmer color, and similar to their image colors being warm colors (orange and pink); and Touya and An wearing a cool color, which is also their image colors (dark blue and teal, respectively). Although the main reason they're wearing these colors is for the heart theme in the event and song (made even more clear with the Kashika 2DMV and how the characters are arranged like an anatomical heart) — with the characters being the veins and arteries of the heart, and all together keeping the heart that is Vivid BAD SQUAD beating, — I believe the color contrasts between the partners is completely intentional.

As a fun fact, Find A Way Out released on December 11, 2022; that is, 12/11 (or 11/12, depending where you live). As mentioned earlier, Akito and Touya's character IDs are 11 and 12, respectively, and they're both (along with Luka) the 4✰ cards in the card set. This one may be a coincidence, but it was pretty funny to notice this. Also, again, Akito's birthday is November 12, aka 11/12 (or 12/11), so it's like his birthday date but reversed. It's pretty curious that Akito's birthday is Akito and Touya's character IDs put together, isn't it? This one has to have been 100% on purpose, really.

For a final cards contrast: recently the third anniversary event happened, and Touya got a new limited 4✰ card with it. What's interesting about this card is that it contrasts Akito's previous anniversary 4✰ card in various ways, such as how the cards are black and white, which are opposite colors; furthermore, the second anniversary's card set is after black lilies, while Touya's card especifically is themed after white lillies; this feels like an intentional choice because the cards in the fourth anniversary card set all have different flowers, yet they chose to do lillies again for Touya's card. Something noteworthy to mention is how, in his card, Touya's bringing a lily to his mouth; while Akito, in his card, has a white petal in his mouth. What truly stands out about Touya's flower is that, in his card, there's many lilies, but three of them have colored stamens: teal, pink, and orange, which is safe to say represent Vivid BAD SQUAD's members. The teal and pink ones are on the sides of the cards, while the orange-colored stamens flower... is the one on his mouth. I feel like I don't have to say much more about this, really. It's definitely a very intentional choice. So wonderful.

Another fun contrast to talk about is Akito and Touya's moe aspects — that is, cute stuff in their otherwise not-cute characters. For example, despite Akito always trying to look so tough and cool, he likes pancakes and cheesecakes, sweet food that you wouldn't expect from such a guy. Furthermore, he's scared of dogs and not many people really know about this (pretty much just his family and Touya); and he also blushes pretty easily at Touya or when it involves him, such as getting teased for something Touya said, or when getting praised by him. Then we have Touya, who looks so cool,mysterious, and aloof, yet in reality he smiles easily at Akito (nowadays), and is actually a very curious and clumsy boy, who likes playing crane games and giving plushies to his close ones and trying out new things even though he may be terrible at them, like being confident to play a ball throw game then failing spectacularly or climbing a tree despite being afraid of heights and having to be helped down by his partner. Despite both looking or acting so tough and cool, they have stuff about them that are unexpected or even cute about them, which contrasts their own personalities and often leads to fun situations and scenes.

7. Conclusion

In short, Akito and Touya mirror each other in so many ways; they're extremely contrastful. They're genuinely pretty much made for each other, meant to be with one another: their different backgrounds and personalities make them fit each other perfectly, because they have what the other lacks, making up for the other's flaws; and, with that, they can push each other forward, and support each other fully, being fully in sync — and become one in the process. They allow each other to grow, drawing the best out of each other, and their contrasts is what makes them the perfect partner for the other. They're, in the end, the best partner both of them could ask for.

🥞 (Reaching the top through clashing with your partner, isn't your privilege alone!) ☕️ (We both looked to each other—we looked at what we didn't have, and ran upward.) ☕️ (So that we can keep being partners who deserve one another!)

8. Afterword

And that's all for the essay! This one took a little while, but I finally finished it... I tried to be more confident in my writing, and also summarize stories less (I summarized stuff a lot in my past essays), and I think it turned out overall solid (although I believe it still has some flaws). This essay was sort of a group effort thing, where my friends helped me throughout by contributing to it and checking over my progress, so I'm very grateful for everyone's help! Thank you so much!! There isn't much more to say now. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the essay! I put a lot of effort into it, and I'm quite proud of it. I will try to write something for Akito's birthday next month... exciting stuff. See ya!

#prsk analysis #pjsekai #project sekai #akito shinonome #shinonome akito #touya aoyagi #toya aoyagi #aoyagi touya #aoyagi toya #vbs akito #vbs toya #vbs #vivid bad squad #bad dogs #aibou #aiboulove

45 notes · View notes