#very much digging how their relationship is developing! i love a good rivals to friends to lovers!

[tobeseenthrough]

"I don't have any friends from my school days. But then, a friend from those days came into my life. I now have a friend to reminisce about the past with."

[shmowder]

Hello! Firstly id like to say how much I enjoy your writings. And I was wondering your opinions on Stanislav Rubin, and if you have written anything about him yet?

Thank you very much. I'm glad that even though I post a lot of memes and silly things, people still remember that this is a writing blog at its core.

Ah Stakh, the man, the myth, the legend Rubin himself. I absolutely adore him. He's like what happens if you drop the soul of a 90' anime tsundere into a survival horror middle age man.

Rip Stanislav, you would've loved going Hmp >:/. You would've loved posting blank black screens on your snapchat with a single dot in the text bracket. You would've loved getting away with throwing heavy-duty physical objects at Artemy in the name of comedic effect during fillter beach episodes.

What's so interesting about him is how much the narrative is out there to get him. How much his story tells a complicated relationship about bline love, trust, and abuse.

At times, it seems like Rubin loved Isidor more than his own son ever did from the amount of faith he held in him. Especially when that said person took advantage of his willingness to serve in order to do the dirty work.

That's probably why Rubin is acting extremely difficult during the game. He's grieving deeply. He seems lost and devoid of purpose, so he clings to whatever new problem he can find to give himself purpose. He works himself to an early grave just so he doesn't have time to think, and if you don't interfer as Artemy, he's successful.

Rubin's extremely devoted to his own set of morality, even when it contradicts itself and hurts him in the process. It's like he's willing to dig himself further into a mess even if he knew the chances of him solving it alone are very slim.

He'd rather do it himself than ask for help.

But it doesn't feel like pride, more like spite. That's the thing him and the bachelor have in common. They're both moved in spite of the universe and not because of.

Meanwhile, Artemy does things out of love for the universe. It explains why Rubin was described by the developers as being Artemy's rival.

Stakh was the best student Isidor ever had, the most diligent and quickest to learn, even a better student than his own son.

But that's exactly the problem. That's all he was great at, being an excellent student. Isidor didn't want a student for life. He wanted a new Menkhu to replace him, to pave the way for the future. How could he let someone who always looks to others for guidance ever take the lead?

Rubin decided to follow the bachelor when it came to curing the plague. In P1, Rubin used to be a soldier and an extremely good one at following orders too before he had to come back hom from a head injury.

In P2, when Rubin is devoid of purpose again, he doesn't try to be his own person and pave his own path. No, instead he sticks with the familiar and goes to join the army.

In the marble nest where Artemy is dead, Daniil says that Rubin has already joined the army and he could be behind any of those soldiers' masks.

What's the alternative future for him? Remaining a student. But for Artemy this time, who successfully took his father's place in p2.

Rubin and Bad Grief were the first ever people to fall out from the friend group after Artemy left, and it makes sense with how opposite they are in nature.

Grief saw how good he was at doing what he is, how excellent he is at being a gang leader and how easily this life came into his hands with very little work. He almost seems perfect for the job of being a glorified sketchy shopkeeper with a dangerous front as a gang leader.

He saw that, and he hated it. He wanted out. He wanted freedom and to break from the narrative. He acted out of script and went to the Inquisitor with his own two legs, closed shop, and threw away that perfect life, which was designed especially for him.

Meanwhile, Rubin longs back for that life. For Isidor to crawl out of the grave and tell him what to do next, even if it meant he will be mistreated and forced to bear the sins of his master just so Isidor keeps his own hands clean. He wants someone more knowledgeable to direct him again, tell him what to do, where to go and what to say.

Grief adored freedom, but Rubin loathed how terrifying it was. Grief understood the way of the world, how everyone is masquerading as their roles, how the whole of humanity is a game of pretend we play with each other, a mere facade. He understood that, and he climbed up as a result of playing his cards well. Or at least, life handed him the perfect hand for his role.

Rubin's black and white view of the world was his doom. Isidor was right and could never do anything wrong in his eyes, even when it was Rubin suffering because of him. Grief was bad. Therefore, he could never do anything right no matter what explanation he gives.

Artemy abandoned his father, therefore he is forever responsible for Isidor's murder in Rubin's eyes.

It's almost funny how throughout the whole game, as Artemy, you keep getting reminded of how much Rubin hates you and wants you dead.

Yet when he invents the panacea after you neglect your job, he fully credits it to you as your invention. The inquisitor even says so.

Love and hate are like dusk and dawn, different angles, but still the same sun.

Rubin's hate for Grief and Artemy proves that he still cares about them above all.

Even then, it doesn't take much convincing for him to abandon that hate. Almost as if he wants to be rid of it himself but can't do it on his own, he requires you to talk to him and give him that one final push. Aware of it or not, he has always looked to others for help despite him trying his best to handle things alone.

-

Now, as for writing something about him, I haven't yet. I would love to, he seems very fun to write. Emotionally constipated characters usually are.

But do you mean as a ship or x reader?

If it's a ship, something with Artemy is my first thought.

I know Isidor was in the process of adopting Rubin and that he refers to him as father sometimes. But all of that happened after Artemy left the town and not before.

So while Rubin and Isidor saw themselves as found family, Rubin and Artemy never did. Their last time together was spent as childhood best friends, and not once do they refer to each other as siblings or imply it.

To me they will always be just childhood friends. Artemy was estranged from his own father for 10-5 years depending on the game and Rubin filled that spot in the meanwhile. The sole reason for the adopting thing was just to get Rubin the right to cut bodies and nothing more in Isidor's case.

Rubin might have seen him as a father figure, but I doubt Isidor saw him as anything but a student, let alone a son.

In his dairy during his last days before death, Isidor only speaks of Artemy. Wishing his son was by his side.

And in Artemy's case, he immediately forgives Rubin for so many things during their first meeting in P1. And in P2, he still attempts to talk and have a resemblance of a friendship with him.

Artemy literally follows him like a kicked puppy, wanting his best friend back and desperately attempting to mend things with Rubin. The fics practically write themselves at this point. Stakh clearly likes Artemy but he won't let himself easily give into the temptation because he is just angsty like that.

Maybe that "rivally" was extremely one-sided in Rubin's case.

-

But for x reader, you're not Artemy so you'll get very favourable treatment.

He's already willing to let himself burn at the stake for someone else. Rubin and Eva both share the passion to sacrifice themselves for the sake of someone else, ironically enough.

The only difference is that Eva took the hopeless romantic path whole Rubin took the selfless devotion one.

He'd do well with someone who is soft and caring, that man requires a hug that lasts a century. He needs someone to be patient with him, someone wise who understands him better than he understands himself. Someone be there for him to fall back on.

Stakh is the type of person who will mould himself to your expectations and needs rather than just let himself...be himself. He will think the way he is just isn't enough to get you to stay in love, and so he will try to adapt what you deem impressive and love-able.

Breaking himself in the process.

A reader who gets him out of that cycle would be perfect. Someone who reassures him that he is enough. That he doesn't need to set himself ablaze just to keep you warm.

He will be extremely awkward in love. He doesn't have a single romantic bone in his body. But he's nothing if not a fast learner.

it's clumsy attempts at the start, but eventually, he learns to speak his feelings more. Words of sincerity and promises of devotion acting as his flirting.

He stares at you a lot with his big round, lovely brown eyes. Across the room? he's looking at you until you come talk to him. Suddenly, he's not slouching so much. It's endearingly embarrassing how honest his eyes can be when his lips won't admit that he needs you.

He will cling to you as time goes on. Why exactly can't he go out with you when you're hanging out with your friends? Listen he knows this is just a grocery trip but he wants to walk there with you and carry the bags.

One time, you took too long in the bathroom at night, and he woke up from sleep just to knock at the bathroom door and ask when you were going back to bed. You found him half-asleep sitting on the ground near the door when you opened it.

[st-just]

Semi-coherent Queen’s Gambit thoughts

Overall I really did enjoy the show, even if it might be a bit shallow, once you dig into it. Or, well,, having thought about it I could write a damning denunciation on request, anyway (but that’s true of basically everything I watch, so). Aesthetically gorgeous, of course. But honestly, what’s most interesting to me is how, like, deceptively upbeat and optimistic and generally joyful show it is?

Okay, so firstly – I really do mean it when I say it’s aesthetically beautiful. This show has singlehandidly convinced me that every change in fashion since the ‘60s has been a strict downgrade. The soundtrack’s absolutely sublime as well, both the licensed tracks and just the score – I’m almost certainly going to just be listening to the soundtrack as walking around music for quite a while. I’m no expert on cinematography, but there were a few scenes that were absolutely just showing off, and I sure as hell enjoyed the show (the American championship montage, obviously, and the pull-out in the Moscow hotel. And, well, pretty much every important chess game/tournament). Anna Taylor-Joy absolutely makes the show, and literally anyone whose watched more than two minutes of it probably agrees. Has one of those faces that is just amazing at getting across emotions and ideas without actually saying anything (and without looking like an idiot trying to do so). Really, the comparison that springs to mind is Mathew Rhys and Kerri Russel in The Americans, which is just about the highest praise I, personally, can give. So, yeah, give her and the people in costuming and set design Emmys, at a minimum.

And – getting critiques out of the way, in descending order of how much I care. Jolene is absolutely the most stereotypically Black Best Friend sort of character imaginable, and the conversation where she basically looks at the camera and says she doesn’t just exist to be Beth’s guardian angel doesn’t actually help that much. Beth finally summoning up the self belief and willpower to flush away her lifelong pill habit in the middle of a tournament and playing the next day without any sort of problems was a bit twee. Between the show’s utterly despair inducing vision of the life the women Beth went to school with have and Julie’s whole vitriolic anti-model spiel the show can come off a bit #notlikeothergirls (incidentally, whoever got the French a national stereotype of being sexy, well-dressed and sophisticated deserves a bigger statue in Paris). And, yeah, it’s not unjustifiable or even, like, unusually bad, but Beth hitting rock bottom does end up looking a lot like a playboy spread.

But, okay – when I say the series is remarkably upbeat what I mostly (magical addiction-curing character development aside) mean is that the world (or at last, the world of chess) is shown as fundamentally uplifting, kind, and pure. The conflict of the show is either the result of forced interactions with the rest of society, or Beth struggling with her own damage. Her birth mother and father, the orphanage, her utter piece-of-shit of an adoptive father, the other girls at school – these are all, broadly, terrible. But chess itself is an entirely positive part of her life, and while some of the people she meets through it are rude or condescending at first, they basically all very quickly grow to respect her and become extremely invested in her well-being and success (her relationship with her adoptive mother also becomes more positive and loving basically entirely in proportion to how supportive she is of Beth’s chess career). All of her rivals turn out to be gracious losers and perfect gentleman, and also usually fall in love with her (which, well, fair), and the closest things the series has to a defined, hateable villain (beyond Beth’s self-destructive tendencies) is her adoptive father,  not anyone in the chess world that consumes the vast majority of the plot.

The show’s take on gender roles and period-appropriate patriarchy. There is, to borrow and probably butcher (I believe) Kate Manne’s there is quite a lot of sexism in the show, but almost no misogyny. Which is to say, Beth has to deal with plenty of condescension, double-standards, suffocating expectations, and generally being being looked at askance, and the show is absolutely crystal clear that actually living up to those expectations is a miserable, soul-crushing, dream-killing husk of a life. But when she ignores them and demands to be accepted as a serious chess-player, once she shows that she’s as good as she acts like she is, everyone just, well, lets her. There’s no enforcement mechanism to the patriarchy, or if there is Beth is too exceptional to ever even see it. And no one ever becomes hateful or violently insecure when shown up by her – quite the opposite, really.

Semi-related, but for a show set during the Cold War it’s got an oddly positive view of the Soviet Union. Benny’s rant about how people actually care about chess and give it prestige, and how chess players there actually work together and cooperate instead of being obsessed with individual achievement (which the rest of the show goes on to make very clear is a virtue and something worth copying). There was a bit in the last episode along the same lines that actually made me smile – when the State Department/CIA goon asks Beth to tell the reporters how being in Moscow has made her proud to be an American, when she clearly (imo) is rather fond of the sudden adoring crowds and the reverence her sport is treated with.

Beyond jokes about the there being another universe 10 degrees off from this one where the whole thing is a VN where you beat each potential love interest in chess to unlock them, the comparison that comes to mind is honestly Among Others by Jo Walton. Not for, like, tone or subject matter or anything, but just for the general arc of ‘Weird Girl in mid 20th century deals with horrifying childhood trauma and alienation from the social life expected of her by diving headfirst into nerdy/esoteric subculture”.

But yeah, anyway, gorgeous, enjoyable show. Would watch again. Give Taylor-Joy an Emmy. Thank you again to @triviallytrue and @rox-and-prose for the recommendation. 

[paynnincorporated]

All this musing about how much Word needed Zulay and the Dragon Eyes post exile for both company and villainy is making her death in canon even more tragic istg. These were their evil plans for the world. Her passing probably really fucked up Word from really being able to carry out his dragon human war plans until a little later.

Anyway, some extra headcanons on Word + my ideas on reworking his character no one asked for but will get anyway:

His clawed hand is a prosthetic, after his hand got blasted to bits from Zulay’s accident. (This is canon btw) Someone else had the headcanon that he also lost his hearing due to the blast, resulting in the crown being some fancy hearing aid.

Since the show’s not suuuper clear on wtf Word’s actual motive is for a DH war, I’m going to chalk it up as purely an innocent accident. Made a comic for this, but retconning that haha.

Zulay’s accident traumatised Word into being paranoid about untested/experimental gear. Funnily enough, Paynn Inc gear undergoes the most rigorous safety tests out of the Big 3 companies (Saurcom, Leviacorp, Reptilico), and is one of the most reliable and safe on the streets. In Changelings, Moordryd stealing his gear probably led to a looooooooot of offscreen panic and rebuke.

Some more angst is that he doesn’t deal with grime/mess on himself very well (Having your wife and her dragon’s remains blasted onto you will do that). Also that he doesn’t take medium/raw meat very well, the bloody taste reminds him a little too much about the accident.

Let’s not make him cartoonishly terrible to Moordryd, even downright physically abusive. My characterisation of Word is that he cares and tries to be a better parent. Moordryd is his only son and reminder of Zulay. Dude wanted a kid, and they were going to have this empire to themselves until tragedy struck. Turn him into the sort of evil parent that would ravage the world for his family. Does that mean he’s a good parent? Not necessarily haha. He’s still a grouch, and the two of them still yell at each other, but he makes the effort to care and show affection in his own way.

Word’s a research buff. Cue post-cult Word digging into reading and researching just to understand and fit into society better. It doesn’t work very well, and Zulay finds him to be an endearing dork. This is also the case for literally any aspect of his life lmao. Probably poured through a lot of books on pregnancy, child care and so forth when Zulay was pregnant with Moordryd. (I’ve joked about him hooking those labour simulation devices onto himself to experiment haha!) Probably attempted XYZ ways to bond with Moordryd after reading about “How to communicate and build healthy relationships with your children” and then failing many many times XD.

Post-cult Word was barely scraping by on the streets with Abandonn, the dragon he grew up with from the dragon priesthood. Dirt poor and maybe a little feral from being ditched with nothing by his supposed family, his scramble to win races is powered by his early, scrappy versions of gear.

This ultimately attracts the attention of Zulay (leader of the Dragon Eye crew) and he gets pulled under her wing. Cue some very cute shenanigans of Zulay showing him the ropes around not just surviving, but thriving, in Down City. This is a very good time for them both, with the Dragon Eyes becoming stronger under Zulay’s leadership and Word’s tech. Zulay and some of the Dragon Eyes quickly become Word’s friends (Abyll). With their backing, he sets off starting Paynn Inc.

I initially thought Word and Zulay would be more rivals to lovers but it’s honestly business partners to friends to lovers. Word didn’t really have anyone besides his dragon until Zulay, she means very much to him. Meanwhile, Zulay was probably charmed by his “innocence”, ingenuity and ambition. Who knew people with dubious morals would fit so well together?

Unfortunately, post-Zulay’s death, the leadership vacuum in the Dragon Eyes and Word’s inability to lead causes their numbers to dwindle. The crew’s initial strength diminishes great. It’s why Moordryd’s current crew is so small, it never could quite recover to its heyday when Word was at its helm. Word is secretly proud his son has his ragtag group of friends as his crew, it’s very much what Zulay had going on with the Dragon Eyes in the past.

His own past with the priests colours his want to be a better parent-ish for Moordryd. Ie. Moordryd would never not be provided for materially (Unlike Connor pft). He does forget his son’s existence at times though, when throwing himself into work/schemes. Ooft.  True abandonment is the furthest from his mind, however. (Think Wraith Booster but Word forgetting his son has white repel gear and what do you mean he’s crawled out of the safety dome-) The affection/emotional side of things is also a huge struggle.

I’m not sure about his and Zulay’s motivations for a dragon human war, but I’ll take a stab at it. Quite a bit of Word’s want for a DHW is due to the Dragon Priest’s influence. Growing up learning that war was coming what with the direction of how humanity was treating dragons, he probably thought instigating that conflict and then offering aid like some benevolent ruler would likely stop it and secure some semblance of “true” peace. Maybe the priests had him and connor grow up with abused dragons. Abandonn as Word’s main companion and the knowledge that he was mistreated made Word develop some general misanthropy. Ofc, getting together with Zulay and co who are also morally dubious, their plans leaned more towards selfish goals of power and control than peace. They do love dragons, but the ends justify the means and wraith gear is a necessary evil. *shrugs*

Maybe I shouldn’t think too deeply into these characters so much haha.

[tuiyla]

So I finally watched The Owl House

I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.

First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.

TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.

I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.

Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.

I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.

I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.

Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.

Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.

Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.

I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.

Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.

Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.

So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.

I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.

Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!

[noir0neko]

Crime and Creation | m

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 15.5k

Summary: The Crow Club. One of the University of Ketterdam’s secret societies aimed at recruiting the finest students who want a taste of more than just lectures. Meet Kaz, the founder and president, whose self-made millions come from his dealings on Wall Street. Nina, a girl who is aching for more than the fortune and husband her family has laid out for her. Inej, whose observant nature and ability to be invisible makes her the perfect spy. Jesper, a childhood friend of Kaz’s who can’t resist getting into a little trouble joined by his boyfriend, Wylan, son of the University dean. And Cataleya, an Upper West side journalism major who has a special way with words. When Kaz finds out the Crow Club’s dealings have been infiltrated by an unknown rival, his crew enlists the help of outsiders to ruin reputations, throw lavish parties, and do what the New York City Crows do best: heist. Until something goes very wrong. 

Characters: Cataleya (OC), Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Alina Starkov, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lantsov, Aleksander Morosova and honorable Leoni mention.

Warnings: Death. Highly detailed emotion and inner thoughts that have memories of parental abuse and self harm, nothing very detailed. Mentions of murder, drugs, and illegal activity. General debauchery and scheming. Some romance, mostly implied, light kissing, fondling, and the use of expletives.

A/N: You do not need to have read any of the books in this world to understand this fic! I spent so much time and poured my heart and soul into this story and the development of my original character and building these characters into a new, modern world. Please read it and give me your thoughts! This piece was written for the @grishaversebigbang. Also, check out the art work made for my fic by these amazing artists: @corpsecro, @nantosuelta-art, @discountscoobygang, @lady-ekatherina-de-mika and @mikanviola! It is such an honor to be a part of something like this and I had so much fun! I encourage anyone and everyone to read the Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone series by Leigh Bardugo! It’ll be on Netflix soon!

I used to love cats. 

Until one showed up dead on my window sill. 

I’m still not sure how it got there. Perhaps it climbed the fire escape and lept from the metal railing onto the ledge. But once the animal had the orange pollen and poisonous petals of the lilies sticking out of my window in its mouth, it was only a matter of time before it died. I had the good sense to keep my crying quiet, at eleven years old, so that my father would not stumble in to yell or push the cat hundreds of feet to the street below. I did not know he was already gone. That I was alone.

I hid the orange tabby in my backpack and went to bury her in the backyard garden the next chance I got. 

But when I used my small children’s shovel to dig into the earth, soft from the recent rain, it wasn’t what I went to bury that changed my life. But what was already buried there. And right then, with my cheeks stained with tears and hands shaking with anger, I swore to never stop hunting. To never stop chasing the people who ruined me. 

That was one promise I kept. 

I haven’t kept many others. 

Sitting in the foyer with the rest of the Crows, wind coming in from the autumn afternoon and the scent of freshly made waffles mixing with dusty books, I don’t know if I can keep this one either. Kaz looks at me pointedly, waiting for me to answer. I glance at all of them, Nina, Inej, Jesper, and Wylan. It is rare that anyone outright refuses Kaz on anything, especially not with his position or to risk the weight of his disapproval. Nina once told Kaz to go to Hell and she paid for it with two weeks of silence and banishment from the Crow Library until she relented to do her assignment. 

Jesper clears his throat, trying to relieve the awkward vibe getting thicker with each passing moment of silence. I can’t help but allow a small smile to reach my lips, grateful for him trying to save me from the tension that I could slice with a knife. Swallowing and meeting Kaz’s dark eyes, I sigh. 

“Fine,” I relent. “I’m in.” 

The strain dissolves from the space and the other Crows break into smiles and start to chatter. Relaxing back in my chair, I watch Inej spring up and take her place next to Kaz, her lithe frame complimenting his perfectly. Kaz moves around his large oak desk, gaze fixated on something in the distance. Definitely scheming face. Best to wait it out until he speaks first.

The Crow Library is lit with the afternoon sunlight, warming the leather of our chairs and illuminating the dust gathering along the rows of books. Shelves line the walls beneath the window, behind Kaz’s study area, and underneath the stairwell, which leads to an upstairs reading room and parlor area. Nobody has bothered to read any of the books, weathered and dusted with age, but they lend the room an air of sophistication and a homey comforting smell. Kaz’s desk is littered with papers, the dark wood barely visible beneath the jumble of stock investment deals, new heists, and class assignments waiting to be done. On the front face of the desk, a large crow is carved into the surface, black and red paint covering the indentations in the wood. 

Inej puts a tender hand on Kaz’s forearm, her lips moving quickly and silently, as if whispering to him. Inej has her hair down today, an unusual occurrence from her braided coil, and the dark strands spill like silky oil over her shoulders and her waist. She must have come from the studio, sweat still gleaming on her brow and black leotard disappearing beneath dark navy leggings. Her lithe frame seems to be floating, always so modest and reserved, yet her brown eyes are intuitive and unrelenting as she studies Kaz. She has been with him since the founding of the Crow Club, never missing a beat between helping him, chastising him, watching out for him, and caring for herself all the same. It’s no wonder she’s been able to double major in both Global History and Ballet, two completely different worlds, but complimenting each other perfectly for Inej. 

And Kaz. What an interesting man he’s proven to be. 

Business major. Self made millionaire. First student to be admitted into the University of Ketterdam - UOK for short, without a full high school education. A man full of mysteries. 

Jesper moves to perch himself on the arm of Wylan’s chair and adjusts his Queen shirt, the old black leather groaning under his weight. Jesper says something quietly to his boyfriend before running a hand through Wylan’s curly red hair and kissing his pale pert nose. Jesper has his hair buzzed short to his scalp, dark arms lean with muscle and legs long, his jeans riding up at the ankles to reveal bright yellow socks and black high tops. Wylan releases a wide smile, looking up at Jesper with untamed admiration. Wylan has on a pair of pressed dark wash jeans, his collared shirt maroon red with small white dots, accentuating his bright hair and pale skin. 

It just reminds me of blood. 

They are quite a pair. Wylan, being the son of the University dean and Jesper, one of the most intelligent and talented students in the Economics department. He is studying Game Theory, an extremely intense and complicated subject full of strategy, confidence, and risk: coincidentally Jesper’s three favorite words. 

Wylan, much to his father’s chagrin, is an Art History student with a hidden passion for chemistry and physics. I often find him gazing at the long since forgotten portraits on the walls of the Crow Library upstairs, reminiscing of a different time, of discovery and excitement. Of different people with different secrets. Wylan usually seems lost in thought, often internally reflecting rather than being outwardly vocal like the rest of the Crows. He is another mystery, especially because of the tenuous relationship he has with his father. 

Jesper’s brown skin glimmers in the sun, inclining his eyebrows in mischief before taking a toffee from the bowl next to him and flinging it across Wylan’s chair to Nina. 

Her tongue flicks out as it hits her arm, thick lips smirking before unwrapping the plastic wrapper and popping the candy in her mouth. Nina is one of the only Crows who was forced into attending the University of Ketterdam. Her parents, with her father being an extremely rich and powerful Russian politician and her mother, an aristocratic woman supposedly descending from ancient Russian royalty, had been raising Nina to marry a high ranking Scandinavian commander since she was eleven. The marriage was supposed to secure better relations between the two nations, as well as provide Nina with a life of security, wealth, and status for her and her children. All her parents want for her. 

In true Nina fashion, this is unacceptable. 

Her family said the marriage could wait if she wanted to go to school and get a degree, which may better serve her husband and their families prestige in the future. Seeing no other viable option, especially because she did not want to marry a “white haired barbarian” as she called her husband-to-be, she enrolled in a prestigious university as far away from Russia as she could get. Despite her parents beliefs that she is a culinary student - “because a good wife knows how to cook”, according to her parents, Nina has been studying Performing Arts and Theatre. A perfect major to fit her personality and her beauty, with her tall, curvy frame and piercing green eyes. Today, she is wearing an olive bodysuit, the neck low cutting and her legs hugged by a pair of black flare jeans. Casual and entrancing. Her style seems to change depending on her mood, from modest foreigner to vivacious party girl to preppy student. New each day. 

“We will need others,” Kaz mumbles to Inej, furrowing his dark eyebrows in thought. 

I have only been with the Crows for a few months, but I already know how unusual that is. Kaz rarely asks for help, especially from those outside of the Crow Club. But whatever he has planned seems to be a lot more serious than the other jobs, more personal than merely ousting insider trading, or infiltrating various museums and mansions, or spying on the Upper East and West Side elite to gain intel and use it to our advantage. 

Each of us has a unique purpose to Kaz. His investments. And while it has been easier to see where the others’ talents fit in, I am still baffled by my own. I adjust the sleeves of my lavender shirt, the ruffled material smooth on my shoulders. 

I had known the Crow Club existed before I set foot on campus. As a journalism major, secrets have always intrigued me. Not just the secrets. The challenge of uncovering them, of working from the inside to reveal some of the deepest and darkest parts of humanity. I had always heard whispers of the club amongst the Upper West side elite, whispers about Kaz Brekker and his Crows. Always watching. Always ready to catch you red-handed. But I didn’t even need to go out of my way to find the Crow Club.

Kaz found me first. Called me an asset. He and Inej invited me to join starting the summer before my second term. I have surprised myself by warming up to the rest of the Crows so quickly, even the ones who aren’t active members and are just extra recruits for Kaz to call if he needs them. We all mean something here, we all have a purpose, more than what the world is trying to force upon us.  

A family. Especially since most of ours are broken or nonexistent. 

After a few minutes of waiting, Kaz snaps to attention and we follow suit, like trained soldiers, eager for him to share whatever small slice of his plan that he decides to. His crisp suit is pure black, a small crow brooch pinned to his lapel. The shaved hair on the side of his head is beginning to grow out, the top slicked back with a deep, oaky smelling gel. He always looks like he is dressed for a business meeting, even when it’s just us. Inej always muses that there is an irony to it, but how, I don’t know. I suppose everything is business to Kaz. 

“Okay,” he begins, voice gruff and deep. “This is what we’ll do.” 

----

Nina and I weave our way through the busy streets, blessing the cool wind as it kisses our faces in the dying summer heat. Her hair is down, the sun illuminating the many shades of brown running through the waves and her dress is high on her thighs, the red cotton fabric hugging the curves of her waist. Being in America has done wonders for Nina, brightened her complexion, improved her spirit, and turned her from a wafer-thin girl to a full-bodied, thick thighed woman. Everywhere she goes, people stare. She is otherworldly, like a saint on Earth. 

“Where did Kaz send us this time?” Nina complains, sucking the dripping strawberry ice cream from her fingers before chucking the cone into a nearby trash. 

“He didn’t,” I grin, dodging a guy with suspicious looking flyers on the sidewalk. “He gave us his card and very vague instructions to find a wardrobe for the event.” 

Nina’s eyes sparkle, cleaning off the rest of her fingers before she entwines her elbow in mine. New York City seems to breathe with our every step, the wind moving, the heat unfurling, and the trees swaying. Taxis and cars whiz by on the avenue, the honking of horns and the laughter of tourists crossing into Central Park filling the air. Everything about New York is alive, even the concrete holds stories it’s waiting to tell. 

“Then let’s go down Fifth,” Nina begins, mischief in her tone. “I know a few places.” 

“I bet you do,” I flash her a smile, crossing the street so we walk parallel to the park. 

We trek down the street, stopping into a macaron shop in the Plaza Hotel to get a bright blue bag full of sweets for us to eat on our journey. Nina and I are bouncing on our heels, excited to have a day to ourselves, away from the Crow Club and the University and being responsible for buying dresses for not only ourselves, but for Inej, Alina, and Zoya, as well. 

Kaz had three extra students brought in for this assignment, all a part of the secret network of Crows that don’t sit in regular meetings. First is Alina, who has an international reputation for rebuilding schools and orphanages across the world since she was thirteen, and who has been a Crow since her first step onto campus. She transferred here as a graduate student from some extremely prestigious school in California to complete her PhD and teaching credentials. Every time I have seen Alina, she has been so kind and so helpful, always eager to teach, serve, and build in any way she can. It’s beyond me why she wants to be a part of these operations. Maybe every good girl has a naughty streak. 

Zoya, on the other hand, seems like the opposite of Alina. A close friend, confidant, and suspected girlfriend, of another one of Kaz’s network of Crows, Zoya is an overly intelligent, intimidating, and obscenely beautiful law student. Her hair is always smooth, a jet black slate against her back and her eyes are always piercing, judging and observing in their ice blue. Her skin always looks perfectly tanned, a deep brown that makes the pink of her lips more enticing. Her grades are pristine, her ability to argue is unparalleled, and if there were ever a force to be reckoned with, it is her. It’s a lot more obvious to understand why she agreed to join the Crows, for the prestige, the knowledge, the power. But truly puzzling, is her relationship with Nikolai. 

Nikolai, or Nik, as I like to call him, is one of the best - and funniest, Crows. Clever, self-deprecating, friendly, handsome, the list goes on. His blonde hair is a shaggy mop of artsy goodness, his skin is creamy, his style completely unmatched and his wealth bottomless. Nik and Kaz are always butting heads; most of the time it’s the only comedic relief the Crow Club has when they’re together. Nik met Zoya during undergrad, in a political science course, where apparently their discussions were lively enough to earn them A’s and lengthy enough to last entire class sessions. Nik has one of those family names that are revered in every elite social circle, making him an obvious addition for Kaz’s team and from what I have gleaned from Nik, he decided to join the Crows to give him something interesting to do besides follow in his father’s footsteps. I wish I wanted to be a Crow out of boredom. 

“God,” Nina groans, shoving her phone back into her five thousand dollar purse. “If I get one more message from my parents asking if I’ve heard from that white-haired, rule-following, stick-up-his-ass, Scandinavian inbred, I am going to drown my phone in the Hudson River.” 

“Wow,” I clap for her, avoiding the incredulous gapes of tourists at her language. “So many adjectives and I don’t even think you’ve ever said his name.”

A man opens up the glass doors to Bergdorf Goodman’s, where cool air and white marble greet us. Immediately, we drift to the dress racks, combing through all of the latest trends.

“Matthias,” she almost growls. “His letters are so proper, telling me that he has heard of my exemplary womanly skills from my parents. That he would delight to see my drawings and sewing and hear me play the piano. It’s ridiculous. I don’t do any of those things by choice.” 

I stifle a laugh. “He seems very… traditional.” 

“Seems?” She throws her hands up, shoving a silk dress back onto the rack with too much force. “He is the definition of the word! And worst of all, he’s attractive! He has snow white hair and is built like one of those huge wrestler guys that people watch on TV.” 

“Why is that a problem?” 

“Because his complete lack of competence makes him a barbarian! A man who thinks the perfect wife is silent and docile. He’s going to have another thing coming when I show up.” 

“He comes from old money in an old country,” I begin, wondering whether I need to tread lightly. “Don’t you think he’s just taught to think that way?” 

She sighs, holding up a stunning evergreen gown against her figure. “I know he is. That’s what’s even worse. I know that everyone where he is from has been taught those values. So even if he came to love me, to understand me, no one on the outside would. His station, his reputation, his fortune, all of it is dependent on how I perform. How I reflect him.” 

“That doesn’t seem fair,” I muse, holding out another red silk dress for her. 

“Money isn’t fair.” 

I blink, surprised at her words. Money is just an object. It has no preference, no deference, no opinions. But I guess the idea of money is more important and tangible than the paper itself. Money has value and expectations beyond the faces staring back at you from the press. It expects manners, it breeds tradition and hierarchy and perfect wives who aren’t allowed to make any. I wonder if Nina will end up bending to those wills, to the one’s she has been raised to. America is such a different place, but I guess money everywhere is the same. It controls you. 

“This.” 

I turn around, face breaking out into a huge smile at the dress Nina is holding. It is a deep purple, with sheer shoulder sleeves and a deep plunging neckline covered in diamond flowers. The waist is cinched, belted by more glittering gems, before it falls and flows in layers of purple silk and satin to the floor, flowers and vines curling around the skirt. Nina’s hair and eyes and skin would look angelic in the dress. I nod fervently, unable to cap my smile as she waves over an employee to open the dressing room. 

While in the dressing rooms, Nina and I talk through the divider. 

“Where was Wylan off to earlier?” I ask, taking off my clothes and folding them neatly on the small leather bench. “He never really seems to be around these days.” 

“Yeah,” Nina says, with a grunt. “He’s been trying to rekindle his relationship with his father, studying a lot. You know, the usual dysfunctional family stuff.” 

I laugh. “My family wasn’t dysfunctional in that way.” 

“I would say you were lucky,” Nina begins and I can hear her zipper up as mine does. “But I know you weren’t.” 

At the same time, we step out of the dressing room, identical smiles breaking open our faces before we clasp our hands together and squeal with happiness. The dresses look perfect, we look perfect, everything looks perfect. 

And now we just have to find dresses for Alina and Zoya. 

With these price tags, Kaz is going to regret lending us his credit card. 

----

“Something Kaz Brekker doesn’t know how to do,” I tease a few days later,“drive.” 

He shoots me a healthy side glare, uncurling his fingers from around the steering wheel. The sun is shining through the left side of the car, illuminating his high cheeks and arched brow bones with dazzling light. If Kaz weren’t so… him, I’m confident he would have made an amazing Calvin Klein model. Especially because his lips are always relaxed in a bit of a natural pout and his resting stance is so relaxed, yet also confident. He is striking. 

And he doesn’t belong to me. Nor do I think he ever will. 

Despite their claims and attempts to put distance between their relationship, it has become common knowledge in the Crow Club that Kaz and Inej are a package deal. And it doesn’t take a trained Journalism major to read between those lines. It is blindingly obvious in the subtle ways she touches him, the way his gaze softens when he looks at her. She is the ice to his fire, and when needed, he is the same for her. A complimentary pair in every way, even if it seems unlikely on the surface. 

“Okay,” I begin, gesturing to the automatic gears between us. I explain what each of the letters stand for, instructing him to move the clutch into reverse and slowly ease up on the brake. With a bit of a jerk, Kaz obeys, turning the wheel to back us out of the spot in the empty parking lot. It had taken a bit of a road trip to find this place outside of the city. I had driven Kaz and myself into New Jersey, where the early morning dawn had just begun to crest, giving our driving lessons an advantage. Kaz had immediately, and somewhat reluctantly, urged me to teach him, claiming we would need it for this assignment. Inej had pushed him along with the conversation, rolling her eyes at how his own pride blocked up his request. 

“Now go back into drive,” I say, lurching forward when he does and pushes his foot down too forcefully on the gas pedal. He turns in circles around the empty lot, taking care to avoid the lamp posts. On every straight away, Kaz seems to hit the gas with a little more force, graceful turns giving way to concussion-inducing races. It seems he has the turning part down, but the lurching and jerking of the car would get him pulled over quickly. 

And although Kaz will no doubt be having a new fake I.D. made by one of our extra Crows, the risk of involving a police officer is not one any of us want to take. 

“Slow down there, Nascar.” I laugh.

He eases up, taking his time to get used to the ebb and flow of the vehicle. Where he got the car is beyond me, but I am also beyond questioning Kaz’s ability to secure random and often, complicated, objects for our heists. He has become my biggest puzzle, my biggest mystery to solve. And if it hasn’t been one hell of an adventure trying to figure him out. Observing him and listening and learning his subtle tells when he is angry or pleased or scheming. Lately, though, it feels as if the obsession for uncovering his truths have blossomed into something else, something that makes my heart race a little faster and my palms sweat. Something I haven’t been able to control. And how I hate not being in control. 

“Turn out onto the street,” I instruct, forcing myself to speak and get out of my own head. 

He obliges, the car absorbing the bumps in the curb as Kaz makes a graceful right turn. His black gloves glide smoothly along the steering wheel, the sleeve of his shirt riding up to expose a sliver of his pale wrist. My mind begins to wander again, to whether or not Inej has touched them, if she has held his wrists down as she gracefully slid on top of him. I wonder if she has kissed him, if he whispers her secrets to her like some sort of sexy spy pillow talk. 

“Cataleya,” Kaz is saying, the four syllables of my name like chimes from his mouth. 

“Sorry,” I shake my head, swallowing and casting him a glance. “What?” 

“Where are we going?” He repeats, monotone and bored. 

His driving has already gotten smoother, his feet steady on the brake and gas as I tell him to pull onto the dirt on the side of the two-lane road and turn around. There are still no cars out here at this hour, an Amtrak just beginning its morning route on a station in the distance. I can see the outline of the city beyond the valley, half blocked by trees and tall grass. The skyscrapers are haloed by the rising sun, like a safe haven calling me back home. 

“Who taught you to drive?” Kaz says, his raspy voice surprisingly light. 

“A friend I had growing up,” I reply, surprised.

“That’s a nice friend,” he comments, voice taking on an edge I don’t understand. 

I snort. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have any family to do it.”

His hands tighten on the steering wheel ever so slightly and if I weren’t observant I probably would have missed it. The way he tenses up. The way his jaw clenches and the car begins to move a bit faster as his foot locks onto the gas. “Me either.” 

“I found my mother dead.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize it. Kaz’s gaze shifts a bit, but he keeps his focus on the road as I continue. “I went to bury a dead cat in my mother’s old garden. We never touched it, my father never tended to it, or let me, after he said she left us. But when I went out to the garden and began to dig, I lost track of time, I dug far deeper than I intended. My father wasn’t home, I wanted to be there, in that garden, and away from him if he came home, for as long as possible. I didn’t realize how far I had dug until,” I swallow, inhaling and turning to Kaz. “Until a hand began to form beneath the dirt, and then an arm, and I saw the wedding ring, the bruises, the blue of her dress…” 

Kaz’s lips part, the only admission of emotion he gives. 

“The coroner said she had been dead for four months. Four months,” my voice broke, splintered on the fragments of my memories. “That she had been beaten and buried there. They couldn’t… couldn’t prove it was my father. He had money, lots of it. And he paid a lot of people to keep quiet.” 

“Is that why you love journalism?” Kaz asks, slowing the car to ready his turn back into the empty lot. “Exposing them? Making them pay with more than their blood money and with plain blood?”

I inhale, lips curling back in more of a snarl than a smile. “Everyone I knew. Everyone I knew who was involved. I have made them pay. In some form.” I throw Kaz a true smile, a devilish gleam in my eyes. “Although I suppose you already know that. It’s why Inej noticed me in the first place.” 

“One of the many reasons,” Kaz replies, words back to being clipped, tight. 

With a smooth arc of the steering wheel, Kaz turns the car into the same spot as before, hitting a little too hard on the brake before coming to a stop. My hair moves in front of my face at the jolt, a blessed curtain separating me from him. I can feel him thinking, churning over my words, assessing me. 

Kaz hardly seems fazed as I peek at him around my hair. His dark eyes are far away, his gloved hands slack on the wheel. I still myself, hearing the purr of the car engine, hearing Kaz’s breathing, shallow and uneven, as he goes into the place he so rarely dives. His eyes are almost glazed, like he’s been drinking, completely lost in his own thoughts. I know some of his story already. From Nina. From Jesper. From my research. 

“Your brother,” I murmur, soft and low. 

His hands tighten on the wheel until they are bone white, staring straight ahead at the tree lined landscape. “Jordie,” he pushes through his teeth. “His name was Jordie.” 

My spine straightens. Kaz has never said anything about his brother, and has never allowed any of the Crows besides Inej into his life in this way. And I wonder how far he has even let her in. I swallow, questioning if I should press or let it be. I am just about to get out and switch places with him to take us back into the city, when he opens his mouth and to my bewilderment, continues to speak. 

“My parents were mixed up in some bad stuff before we came here. We lived in the countryside, with a bit of land and no one around us for miles. My brother was older than me, only by four years, but enough to know how to keep me from looking where I shouldn’t. From keeping me happy and sheltered.” A muscle flickers in Kaz’s jaw, his pale skin going ashier with each word, “I didn’t know what was happening when they came. The thugs my parents had been hopping between towns, cities, and states to avoid for over a decade. Jordie took me, the remaining cash from the safe, that my father had stolen, and fled to New York City. He hoped we would be invisible among so many people.” 

I don’t know I am holding my breath until I release it, low and shaky. Kaz is silent again, staring off, flexing and unflexing his fingers against the steering wheel, like a silent reminder that he is here. 

“Are they alive?” I ask, voice so silent it’s almost nothing. 

“I don’t know,” Kaz admits. “But we never heard from them. I’ve never heard. So I can only assume not. And I don’t think I would want to see them if they were.”  

“And Jordie…?” I venture, terrified to hear more, but also terrified he’ll clam up. I am desperate for more. Desperate to know him. 

“We weren’t safe here. They found us. Or, found Jordie. While I was gone.” Every single syllable from his lips are forced and painful, laced with self loathing and regret. Survivor's guilt. “I was supposed to be there, but Jordie had sent me away. On an errand down in Brooklyn. He knew we were trapped, and wanted me to live, if he couldn’t. If Jordie could convince them he was alone and I had been shipped somewhere else... ” He breathes in and out, slowly and deeply, focusing on some point in the distance. “They ruled it as a suicide. He had cut his own throat, only his DNA on the knife, only his blood… I don’t know if he did it before they came. Or if they staged it. The not knowing. The guessing. That’s what makes it worse.” 

“So you look for control in other places.” I say. “In the market. In investment. In the Crows. I do the same thing.” 

“The Crows stand for the same thing you do, Cataleya.” Kaz says, looking at me with an intense stare. “Exposure. We want things to be different. We want people to pay, truly pay, for what they have done. Instead of buying silence. Buying lies. We want the truth. Only the truth.” 

His words pierce me, his black hair stark against his forehead, shaved sides longer than he normally keeps them. His eyebrows are set in a hard determined line, lips closed, and jaw locked in determination. I know he made those people pay, the ones who took his brother from him. I can see it on his face. 

“How did you survive?” I begin, “without him?”

Kaz licked his lips and let out a low chuckle. “Our money was gone. But we knew some people. Kids we met on the street. They made me a fake to get into bars with; I was barely sixteen by that time, but I looked older. Rougher. I had a skill for counting cards and made a small fortune quickly by playing in run down joints and eventually, working my way into larger, more expensive establishments. It was hard, I lived and breathed revenge, for Jordie. I wanted to have him back. To have something that was mine. I built up a small fortune, studied the market, and began investing. By the time I applied to the University of Ketterdam it didn’t matter that I only had my GED and no family, my self-made fortune was enough.” 

“But why here?” I ask, furrowing my brows in confusion. “Why school at all?” 

Kaz continues to look at me, eyes blazing. “Because we had a dream. Jordie and I. We had a dream that we would never forget what happened. That we had to run. And that when we were older, more settled, we would build something here. In New York City, something that would last. Something with a legacy. Like Crows, Jordie had said, symbolizing death but themselves being alive. We were dealt bad luck and would bestow it on others who deserve it.” 

“Thus, The Crow Club,” I finish his sentence, gaze roaming his face. “A secret society at one of the world’s best universities that would have a legacy. Have prestige. Have a family.” 

“Something that is mine,” Kaz’s lips part, wet from his tongue. 

“Yes, yours.” I echo. 

We are both silent for a few moments. Weighing our words. Our truths. Even the trees outside seem to stop in the wind, leaves quiet and branches unwavering. Kaz has opened up in a way I have never seen before. Never expected. He has been through so much. So much like me. Dealt with death. Loss. Life. We aren’t so different. None of the Crows are. 

“What about the others?” 

“Those aren’t my stories to tell,” Kaz responds, voice returning to its detached state.

I nod, once, accepting. I know a few of them already. Nina. Wylan. The new recruits. But Inej and Jesper are mysteries. Complete and whole geniuses shrouded in questions. I don’t like questions. Especially ones I can’t answer. 

“How did you survive? With him?” Kaz’s voice rings again, reflecting my earlier question. His words are too big for the small car, inhaling deeply through my nose as a small smile graces my lips. His long fingers move the shift into reverse to back out of the spot to drive us back to the city himself. The true test of his skill on the Manhattan streets.  

“That friend. The one who taught me how to drive,” I reply, a bit of wistful nostalgia filling my tone. “He helped me. Took care of me. Looked after me.” 

“Past tense?” He inquires, feet smooth as he presses on the gas pedal. 

“We are still friends,” I say. “I think. Things are just… different.” 

“Different. That’s an understatement.” He replies, voice drenched with irony. “Everything is different, isn’t it, depending on how you look at it.”

I nod and laugh, giving him a compliment on how swiftly he picked up driving before we settle into a comfortable silence. Crows. Allies. Friends. If we can call ourselves that. 

I hope we can. 

----

Today, I am supposed to meet the enemy. 

Kaz told me yesterday he set up a rendezvous at one of the campus coffee spots and that there would be someone waiting for me there. Someone he wouldn’t name. Someone that I am supposed to gather information from. Someone who thinks we are on a date. 

I had almost hit him when he pulled up his phone to show me the fake dating profile that was made for me. Pictures of me smiling, laughing, most of them pictures I didn’t even remember taking, all glowed brightly at me, accentuated by a bio that said I liked my men tall, dark, and tortured. 

How cliche. 

“Nina made it,” Kaz had shrugged then returned his phone back to his pocket. 

“And you would be surprised by how many matches you made,” Inej’s voice was laced with humor, lilting into the room without a trace. 

“She’ll walk you over,” Kaz said, gesturing around the room to her unknown location. “Like any dutiful girl would for her best friend about to go on a date from an app. Then, you’ll just need to proceed as normal. Ask him about his life, his job, his degree, his connection to UOK. All the basics. The main concern is reading him out for a vibe, his family has had a lot of influence in some shady shit and he’s from another society here.”

So that’s what this was about? Some sour deals that probably put Kaz out of some easy money and a rival society that was challenging Kaz’s position in the control of campus secrets and his standing legacy? I don’t feel like that is the whole story, but that’s all that Kaz was willing to give me at the time. 

And he hadn’t said anything this afternoon when I had gone into the Crow Library to meet Inej. He acted like nothing ever happened, like he hadn’t revealed some of his darkest secrets to me. Like we hadn’t shared a moment of… something. He barely looked at me from his desk, hair rumpled and face flushed from stress, in my tight long sleeve dress and tights, combat boots laced up around my ankles in case this random guy got the wrong idea. 

The air outside had turned to autumn, giving us an unusually cold and windy day. I was puttering around and trying to think of something to say to Kaz, when Inej came down the staircase with silent feet, dressed in a pair of black leggings and a cream knit sweater. Her hair had been mused in the back and her face also looked a bit red. I had almost laughed, looking between her flushed state and Kaz’s slightly red cheeks, before giving Inej a knowing quirk of my eyebrows. 

And now, outside of the library and alone, walking across the cobblestoned campus paths with autumn leaves falling around us, I turn to her. “Do I even want to know?” 

“It’s college,” she replies, so quiet it’s almost to herself. “Things happen.” 

“Things don’t just happen with Kaz Brekker.” 

She looks at me, face breaking out into a blinding smile that splits her beautifully baked face. “They do when he’s in a rather… compromising position.” 

“Inej!” I release the laugh I’ve been holding, the now pulled back coil of her hair showing off the reddened tips of her ears. Since I have known of Inej, she has always been rather modest. Sure of herself in a quiet way. The kind of confidence that doesn’t need reassurance or shields. Inej herself is a shield, a force of silent secrets she keeps hidden beneath the unsuspecting lithe of her dancer’s frame. 

We take a right turn down one of the main campus paths, small walkways opening up into a large courtyard. Students mill about, sitting on statues, kissing underneath the garden archways, reading books on their way into classes. The University of Ketterdam has always been such an eclectic place, not only because of its location in New York City, but because of its campus. Lush, green, beautiful. An ode to history and architecture and modernity all the same. The programs here are some of the best in the world and while tuition isn’t cheap, the value of a Ketterdam degree is worth it. 

“Is it bad that I kind of do want to know though?” I begin, not even sure what I’m saying. 

“No,” Inej says, voice thoughtful and not defensive in any way. This is why I love Inej. So honest and unafraid. “I think everyone wants to know about Kaz. Everyone wants to be the hero that solves the mystery or the lover that turns a prince from darkness.” She pauses, looking around at the students, seeming lost in thought. Her dark eyebrows crease together, as if in thought or sadness. “Some people just can’t be saved.” 

I can tell she’s referring to Kaz. But I’m not sure if I agree. I think everyone can be saved. I think darkness lives in everyone and all a person needs is a bit of light to show them through. People weren’t born into darkness, or evil, they were made that way. Through that, they could be unmade. And Inej has enough light and strength in one of her hands to see any person through the blackest of tunnels. I think of what Kaz had said to me, in the car, about his story, about his desire for revenge. For retribution. Maybe I want to believe we can be saved from the darkness because I want to be saved. Because like calls to like. And there is a deep chasm within Kaz that sings to me. 

Inej moves her head to look at me, a full and unabashed gaze that somehow makes me uncomfortable. Like she can see straight to my soul. Like she can see every lie I have told or every promise I have broken or every secret I have kept. Like she can see my desires and my shame and my longing for things I can’t have.

“But we love them anyway, don’t we?” She finishes, giving me a contemplative look. 

I think of the people I love, the people I did love, when there were still people in my life that were capable of receiving such a thing; people who were dark and painful and I still loved them anyway. Love can be such a blinding thing. Blinding and binding. 

“Yeah,” I echo, her reflective tone rubbing off onto my voice. “We do.” 

The both of us descend into silence as we continue to walk across the quad. I begin to feel my stomach turn, my palms sweat. No matter how many times I have done this, not dates, but encounter new people, this feeling returns. Every time I have to meet someone new, report on something, present something for a class, I would feel anxiety grip my insides and twist. When I was younger, that anxiety was terrifying, it made me cower, it made me scared. But as I got older, I began to use it and cling to it. I began to form it into an entity that gave me courage instead of taking it, something that would ground me to myself and propel me into my fears. 

Inej begins, “Kaz texted and said he’s outside. Reading. Good luck.” Then she’s gone.

Steadying my breath, the smell of coffee hits my nostrils as I round the library steps to the small path beside it. The coffee shop is nestled into the side of the huge, brick building, almost like a tumor sprouting from the side. Inej has completely disappeared, only leaving the familiar scent of herbs in her wake. She is supposed to be going up the library steps to find a good vantage point from one of the many windows facing the coffee shop on the building’s side. Students move around through the cafe windows, in and out of the doors, little bell ringing to signal both arrival and departure. 

But I am not paying attention to any of them. 

Because there is a boy. A man. Sitting at one of the tables outside, his long legs stretched underneath the opposite chair, wearing a pair of leather sneakers. His long fingers are thumbing through a novel, covers worn and pages yellow with age. He can feel someone there, looking, sitting up and turning in that little metal chair to see who. To see me. 

It’s Alek. 

I blanch, mouth going dry and jaw slackening. I know him. I more than know him. I- 

“Cataleya,” his voice is pure night, laced and dripping with stars. He doesn’t seem surprised to see me, not even phased. Not that I have ever seen him look surprised. I flash back to that day in the garden, to his hands on my face, wiping my tears, to his arms around me, murmuring condolences, to the face that I could see through my blurred tears. Dark hair, pale skin, beautifully big gray eyes. I had barely known him, barely seen him despite our houses being right next door, despite our windows being on opposite sides of the alley and me being able to spy on him when his curtains were parted at night. 

“Aleksander?” I stand a little straighter, gathering my shock and shoving it deep down. 

He smiles, standing up from the chair on the patio of the coffee shop. He is so tall, taller than I remember. His dark jeans are fitted against his legs and the black long sleeve button down he is wearing shows off a large portion of his impeccable chest. I don’t remember when the last time I saw him was, but I definitely don’t recall feeling the pulsing and intense heat that flashes through my body when I look at him. I suddenly feel naked. And stupid. 

Is Kaz trying to kill me?

Swallowing thickly, I scan the windows on the side of the library for Inej, wondering if she has already found a perch to play spy. The sun reflects off of each glass surface in the afternoon light, making it impossible to see through any of them. Blowing a breath through my lips, I attempt to quell the storm brewing and churning in my stomach. 

“What a wonderful surprise this is,” Alek starts. 

I catch the edge in his voice, the way the tone lilts at the end. A tell of how much this encounter is not a surprise. For him anyway. But I smile, I nod and I watch as he fluidly closes the distance between us and takes me in his arms. 

I hate how I exhale. 

How my whole body relaxes. 

I hate how good it feels. 

Like coming home. 

He smells like winter and barren tree branches, like snow and absence of light. Like a dark night wrapping me in its embrace and taking away the pain that days bring. Peaceful and mysterious all the same. Just as I remember it. Just as I remember him. 

“Since when did you start wearing all black?” I joke as he pulls away, gesturing to his outfit. “Are you some kind of darkling now?” 

He gives me a blinding grin, chuckling under his breath. 

“Something like that.” 

He gestures us back over to the table and I sit across from him, back rigid and legs crossed. I feel like a mannequin, still and stoic, despite the intense pounding of my heart and rush of blood through my veins. 

“How have you been?” He asks, leaning back in his chair with an amused look on his face. “I must say I was very surprised when your profile popped up Tinder.” 

I clench my jaw, working my teeth against each other. “Yeah, so was I.” 

Tilting his head to the side, Alek studies me, eyes unabashedly roaming from my face to my chest to my waist, to my legs visible on the side of the table. I swallow, trying to clear the unfamiliar lump in my throat before I speak. 

“But I’m good. Great, even. But I didn’t even know you are here. That you went here in the first place.” 

“It’s a temporary thing,” Alek responds. 

“Temporary?” I push. 

“I’m just getting a business credential for the semester,” he says, airy and dismissive. 

I narrow my eyes at him, hoping he can feel the suspicion and annoyance radiating from my look. He drums his fingers on the table, weighing my stare with a measured, even gaze that infuriates me further. I always hated when he did this when we were kids. Always challenging me. Always trying to get me to back down. Luckily, our time apart has sharpened my detective skills and my comfort with confrontation. 

Alek sighs, blinking slowly. “Fine. I’m here because of you.” 

My jaw slackens. 

Because of me? 

“I missed you,” he whispers, in a rare display of vulnerability and affection, before reaching across the table to take my hand. 

Fire lashes up my wrist and arm, chills spreading in its wake. His touch is electrifying me, his skin like a hot branding iron pushing into me with delicious pain. Alek’s jaw is set, the hard lines on his chin lined with stubble. I want to take his face in my hands and kiss him. I want to feel him against me and get lost in the impossibly deep gray ocean of his eyes. 

“Where were you then?” I venture, pushing down the pressing anxiety. 

“I had a lot to deal with after my dad died,” he responds, voice detached and noncommittal. “I’m really sorry I let our relationship fall away, but I didn’t want to drag you down into my grief. You’ve always had enough on your plate.” 

“You helped me through grief.” My tone steadies. “I wanted to help you.” 

He huffs, “I didn’t want your help.” 

The words are like a slap in the face, pulling my hand from his with a start. His dad’s death had been very abrupt and unexpected, launching Alek into a world of unknown wealth and property and an accumulation of other assets he wasn’t even aware his father had. His death was ruled under suspicious circumstances, but no leads were ever found for a murderer or any other sort of foul play. And with Alek’s mother long gone to cancer, he found himself newly eighteen and alone in the world. Except he wasn’t alone. He always had me. 

Alek releases a breath, eyes softening as he leans back in his chair, aware of the mistake in his harsh words. He pushes a hand through his hair, the dark waves parting for his hand like a saint in the sea. 

“I don’t mean it like that. I wanted you to be there, Cataleya. But some things you have to do on your own, you know? I had so much to figure out and sort through and… it was overwhelming.” 

I nod, chewing on the inside of my cheek. Alek was never the kind of guy to ask for help, especially not from people he is close to. He always did things alone, always felt weak for not building his own empire, his own legacy, his own destiny, without anyone else. But two years, I haven’t heard from him in two years and now here he is. In front of me. Asking for some sort of forgiveness. Is there anything to forgive? The pit in my stomach says yes. But my throbbing heart and other throbbing parts of me say no. 

“I missed you, too.” 

A small smile blossoms across his face, the sight beautiful and stupefying. 

“I can’t help but notice you walked here with Inej Ghafa,” he starts and my alert senses begin to tingle. “Isn’t she a part of Kaz Brekker’s Crow Club?” 

“How do you know about that?” I ask before I can help myself.

“Anyone who is anyone knows about Kaz,” he responds, almost spitting his name. 

“Okay…” I begin, unease settling into my stomach like a stone. “But why do you?” 

“He has something I need.” 

The stone becomes a boulder. 

“Are you-” I stop, then start again. “You’re the one that this is for.” 

���If by “this”, you mean whatever scheme he is planning to trap me in, then yes.”

“But why? How do you even know him? Don’t you know who he is and what he does? What are you thinking going against Kaz?” I ask urgently, struggling to keep my voice low. 

He pins me to the chair with a dead look. “He has debts he needs to pay.” 

“You’re going vague again?” I shake my head, irritated with his bipolar intensity then flippancy. “You need to back down. Or you’re going to end up hurt.” 

A smirk tugs at his full lips, “Your lack of faith in me is really inspiring, Cataleya.” 

“It’s not that,” I retort, exasperated, crossing my arms. “Kaz is really powerful. With more networks and connections than you know. If you don’t stop whatever crusade you have on him, you’re the one that’s going to end up indebted.” 

He laughs this time, a full and deep laugh that surprises me. “Has he really dug his talons that deep in you? That you’ve forgotten how wide my own connections spread? How cunning I can be?” 

“We haven’t spoken in two years,” I respond, pettily. “I don’t know you at all anymore.” 

He leans forward, eyes incredibly dark and face serious. “You know that’s not true.”

I hold his stare, raising my eyebrows, feeling satisfied that I made my point. Alek reaches across the table and places his palm up on it in invitation. I can see the veins of his inner wrist, with dark ink snaking across the blue and disappearing under his shirt sleeve. He didn’t have any tattoos when I last talked to him. My fingers itch to push back the fabric and see them. His secrets. Like Kaz’s, they are so plain on his skin yet hidden through metaphors and signs. 

Licking my lips, I push out a breath and put my hand atop his, feeling his eyes follow mine to where the ink is displayed. Without saying anything, he pushes the sleeve of his shirt up his forearm, stopping at the inner crook of his elbow. 

Inhaling and holding, I blink at the constellation on the inside of his forearm. A night sky, swirling with black and dead space, with creatures in between zombies and ghosts with huge demon wings flying through it. There is a ship at the base of his wrist, a small stern gliding through dark sand, a tiny speck compared to the massive size of the creatures flying above it. It is dark and torturing and incredibly impassioned. I let the pads of my fingers drift softly up Alek’s arm, watching goosebumps form on his skin. 

“What are they?” I ask. 

“They’re called volcra,” Alek says. “Beings that live in darkness and are afraid of light. They feed on those who come into their path, who are unable to see or defend themselves in the black sea of sand.” 

“It’s so… intense.” I search for the right word to describe it, coming up short. 

“I want to remind myself to not be afraid of light. Of happiness. That the things that I may think make me weak, really make me strong. I need to find more light, to find my light. I have been full of darkness for a long time, Cataelya. I’ve lived in a thousand moments of it.” 

I tilt my head, fingers pressed into the inside of his elbow and looking up at him through my lashes. His eyes are trained to the spot where our skin is meeting, his lips parted and eyebrows furrowed a bit in the middle. I resist the urge to flatten it with my thumb, letting the wind and the sound of other students fill the silence between us. 

“You were the only light in my life for a long time,” I say to him, tracing the volcra’s deformed bodies with my index finger. “I had nothing. I had no one. You pulled me from that nothingness. From the darkness. And held me in your arms. Brought me up to somewhere better. Where I can hope. Where I can not only see light, but make my own. That is invaluable to me.” 

He catches my hand and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss to my palm. “Can you help me, then? Can you bring me back my light, too?” 

My breathing stalls. I know what he’s asking from me. I know it’s more than just offering a flashlight through the tunnel. I know it’s more complicated than I can currently imagine. Alek stands up, coming around the table to kneel in front of my chair. Some students stare, wondering if they’re about to witness a proposal. I ignore them, keeping my eyes trained on Alek’s imploring gaze. I know in this moment, I will give him the world, the moon, and all of its stars. I will give him all of my sun and then some, I will summon everything I have to fill the darkest parts of him. 

He takes my face in his hands, palms impossibly soft on my cheeks. Subtly, slowly, I nod, watching his face break a part into a smile. Without pausing, Alek leans forward and kisses me. His lips are smooth and plush, completely stunning me into inaction as he runs his fingers along the sides of my throat. I sigh into his mouth, body realizing what is happening just as he is pulling away. Parting my lips, I stupidly sit in my chair as he gets up in one flowing movement.

Alek looks down at me with a smile. “I hope to see you soon then, Cataleya.” 

Just like that, he scoops up his book and walks away. Gone as quickly as he appeared. 

----

The room is completely aglow with light, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and candles lit around the room. Everything has a soft, burnt hue, like the room is on fire from below and the blaze is lighting the space. It must be the size of the University of Ketterdam quad, with hundreds of people talking, dancing, eating, and drinking. I recognize some students and faculty, but most are a blur of unfamiliar gowns and tuxedos. 

“They know how to throw a party,” Nik says appreciatively. 

“If they didn’t, no one would take them seriously.” Zoya retorts, leaving Nik’s side without so much as a glance to drift into the crowd. The smell of honey and sweet drinks spreads through the room, long tables lining either wall stacked with a massive spread. 

“That’s where I’ll be,” whispers Nina. 

I smile at her, gathering my dress in my hands and descending the few flat stairs to the main rooms. The floor is a beautiful tile, mosaics and colors that I can’t decipher flowing from the entry way beneath the mass of bodies. There is something magical about it all, something historic, like stepping into a time machine. The walls are lined with thick tapestries, with small halls leading into different areas of grandeur. I shouldn’t be surprised that wealth like this still exists, but every time I see it, I am. 

Scanning the space, I see Alek from across the ballroom, near one of the food tables, his gaze drifting across my body before a smile forms on his lips. He is wearing an all black suit, lapels crisp and smooth, with a single blood rose pinned above his heart. It mimics the read of my dress, the stain of my lips, the seduction in his eyes. He cocks his head slightly, dark hair falling over one of his beautifully arched eyebrows. 

I hold his stare, letting the bubbling pit of fire burn deeply in my stomach. The pit that forms when he looks at me, seated low and hot. The pit that would cackle and seethe if he would touch me, if his pale hands would settle on my hips and his lips would touch the shell of my ear, whispering sweet nothings and dirty everythings into my ear. Snaking my tongue between my lips, I watch as Aleksander tracks the motion, his posture straightening ever so slightly. 

And then Kaz is there. In my line of vision. 

The fire sputters out, replaced by something else. Something that grips my lungs and forces my heart to beat faster. His suit is a deep navy, bringing out the smooth pearl of his skin and accenting the night of his hair. He looks like a shooting star, dark and light at the same time. I wonder who picked it out for him, or if he selected it himself. I can’t imagine Kaz in a tailor’s shop, trying on suits and drinking bourbon with the upper elites with him. 

But then again, maybe I can. He is a business man after all. And great at faking it. 

Kaz catches my stare, tipping his head up in greeting before disappearing into the crowd. Nina and Nik dissolve from my side as well, going to observe and mingle before the drama begins. Alina is the only one left next to me, her golden dress sparkling in the chandelier light. She turns to me and sets her hand on my arm gingerly, sun earrings dangling from her ears. 

“Be careful,” she whispers. “He’s not who you think he is.” 

I open my mouth, about to ask her what she means before her hand is gone, and so is she. I watch her move into a group of people, hugging a man in a dark gray tuxedo from behind before giving him a kiss. Must be Mal. I don’t feel right, especially after what Alina said to me. I feel like something is amiss, but I don’t know what. 

I spot Kaz again, whispering something to Inej along the back wall. Her dark eyes drift to me, cementing the feeling in place. 

Alone, I cross the space to Alek. I had seen him twice since our fateful coffee date and both times had been very formal and full of business. Full of me trying to help him get his light back. Through some sort of grand scheme, it seems. One that required me to also recruit Nik, Alina, and Zoya to help Alek while seeming like they are helping Kaz. Sort of like a double agent, except I don’t know which side I want to be standing on at the end. 

“How are you?” Alek asks, tone casual to an untrained ear, but clipped enough for me to hear the true question behind his words. 

“Something’s wrong,” I respond under my breath before I loudly declare my happiness.

He lets his gaze linger on my face for a moment, schooling his features into neutrality. 

“Can you handle it?” 

“I’m not sure,” I admit, dropping my fake smile. “I might need help.” 

Vague enough, but he clearly gets the message, rolling his shoulders before giving me a dazzling grin. Alek reaches a long arm to stop the waiter passing by, grabbing two flutes of sparkling gold champagne and extending one to me. As if this is only our second time meeting. As if we both happened here by incident and he is looking to get lucky.

“I could never refuse such a beautiful woman.” 

I return his smile, throwing back the entire drink for some liquid courage. It tastes sweet and fizzy against my tongue, a faint acidity coating the roof of my mouth. Alek takes a long and thoughtful sip of his own champagne, much more graceful than me and folds my arm into the crook of his elbow. He begins to lead me from the ballroom, towards the Crow’s meeting spot. I look behind my shoulder, searching for their familiar faces. But all I see is Nina, already watching, her eyes focused intently on the joining of my arm with Alek’s while she pretends to listen to Nik, whose lips are moving with passionate fervor. Her mouth parts ever so slightly as she catches my eye. 

“Careful,” Alek mutters, forcing me to turn my head back in front of me. 

Dread and fear coil in my gut. I have never seen Nina look that way. I have never seen her look at me and not see me. I still don’t spot any of the other Crows at their reported positions around the room, where they were supposed to stay until I could get Alek alone and before I could lead Kaz to Alek and they could duel it out and I could decide who to side with then.

 I swallow, mind racing, trying to calm myself by believing that there’s a reason for their absence. 

 Alek seems to sense my trepidation, holding my arm a bit tighter as we meander from the crowded room into a near empty hallway. 

“Something’s wrong,” I repeat, trying to unravel everything quickly. Too quickly. 

Kaz, pushing everyone into this heist with such force. The others, more quiet than usual, less pressing for Kaz to give them details. Kaz, letting me teach him to drive, letting himself be vulnerable for me. Inej, barely talking to me a week into our plan. Nina, completely open and honest and warm until she saw me with Alek. Jesper, less happy than usual, less enthusiastic, more solemn and quiet, often excusing himself when I came into the room. And Wylan, always seeming to be off rekindling his relationship with his father. 

I didn’t need to help them with appearances at all. 

When fear arrives, something is about to happen. 

“It’s a trap,” I breathe, clenching my jaw and letting my stomach pit out inside of me. 

“I know,” Alek replies, cool and distant. 

My blood turns to ice. “What do you mean, “I know”?” 

He doesn’t respond, turning right down the hallway that leads to a back patio exit, and not to the left, to that private seating area where the Crows were supposed to be waiting. Alek increases his pace ever so slightly, giving me a glazed and lusted look when people come out of the rooms to pass us by, too high or drunk or exhausted to care. 

I try to stamp down the panic in my bones. How could I be so stupid? How could I get so caught up playing both sides that I didn’t see what was right in front of me? This is not the part where things are supposed to go wrong. I am supposed to get to choose. I am supposed to see them interact, gauge my feelings, myself, my words, and decide which side I want to be on. If I want to be a Raven or a Crow. If I want to be crime or creation. Of course, Alek is one step ahead. And so is Kaz. 

“We need to be more casual, less uptight,” Alek states as he pushes through the glass doors leading into the large mansion courtyard at the end of the corridor. “If any of them are watching, they’ll hurry things along if they sense we’re onto them.” 

“I think they already know,” I swallow, the night air turning cold and bitter. We hover on the cramped patio for a moment, not descending the small set of stone stairs into the gardens beyond. I can hear voices from inside, music drifting about, people laughing and heavy breathing from behind bushes. I wish I could have gone to this party with no other intentions than for fun. 

Maybe in a different life.  

“Doesn’t hurt to try,” Alek shrugs. 

And then I am up against the thin black railing behind me, Alek’s hands settling into the curve of my hips. I can feel his warmth through the satin of my dress, bleeding fire into my skin, my heart, my core. He licks his lips and pushes me tighter against him. Our bodies are flush in all of the right places; hard and soft in all of the right places. 

“Kiss me, Cataleya,” he baits me, voice low and raspy. 

He doesn’t have to say it twice. 

I surge forward, his lips plush and velvet against mine. He smells like winter, like snow and frosty tree branches and endless starry nights. I grew up with this smell, revelled in it, fell in love with it. His dark hair brushes against my forehead, the strands so soft and gentle in a way I had never known Alek to be. He is always pushing, moving, plotting. 

He reminds me of Kaz in that way. 

Kaz. 

Alek’s tongue slips along mine, sparks flying and thundering in my ears. Haven’t I wanted him like this for so long? Haven’t I imagined what this would feel like since our first kiss, being barely a peck? Haven’t I dreamed that he would want me? That he would have me in the way I desired? 

So why is this falling so flat now? 

Kaz. 

The voice reverberates through me, like a Crow picking from a dead body, peeling flesh from bone until I am stripped bare. My head begins to pound, a dull ache in the base of my skull. Alek runs his fingers up my bare arms, drawing goosebumps in his wake until I am shivering beneath him. 

“Cataleya,” he murmurs, deep and throaty. 

The old feeling returns, the burning desire, the expectant eyes. The little girl waiting for her master to approve. The little girl waiting for someone bigger, someone better, to grab her hand and drag her from the dirt. I feel ridiculous for not being able to squash it down, to tamper it. I don’t know if that feeling would ever die. The feeling of dependence. Of unworthiness. 

Alek seems as if he’s about to say something, but his head whips to the side. I follow the movement, the stone of dread in my stomach sinking deeper when I realize the courtyard has gone quiet around us. Not a single sound from behind the bushes, not a giggle or a whisper or a moan. Too quiet. The sound of death. 

The headache threatens to split my brain a part, eyes blurring as I watch Alek attempt to stumble down the stairs. He gets one step in before a figure blocks his path. My breathing becomes laborious, squinting through black spots clouding my vision before I can see who it is. 

Wylan. 

His suit is a forest green, dark velvet tailored for his tall lanky frame. The color perfectly offsets the ruddiness of his hair and his shoes are a deep brown leather, squeaky clean and new. Leave it to Kaz to outfit all of the Crows with his endless bank account. 

“I’m sorry,” Wylan says, face truly betraying some measure of regret. 

The pieces click together, like a lock sliding into place. 

He hasn’t been working with his father all these weeks. He has been working on something else entirely. Something that would take lots of time, lots of care, and lots of studying. When Nina said those things I thought she was talking about how he was mending the relationship with his father. She was not. And not just that, but his studies most likely required more than himself for success. Probably Leoni, the incredibly kind and intelligent biochemical engineering major who Kaz sometimes recruited for special missions that required more stealth, less blood. 

Wylan was studying poison. 

And we had ingested it from the champagne. 

----

My head is throbbing when I come to, the sound of a car engine roaring in my ears. I don’t know how I got here. All I remember is Alek, his hands on me, his warmth leaving me to spin me into the arms of someone else. The shaved hair, the deep brown eyes, the palor of his skin, the stability of his grip around my waist. Then Alek again, his lips on mine, my back against the wall.

 I force myself to swallow, trying to see anything through the blindfold at my eyes. I am still in my dress, the silk smooth on my skin, and I can feel the car coming to a stop as I struggle to find the strength to say something. 

My bones feel like liquid, muscles weak and shaking. But Alek had been the only one who offered me a drink, he had been the only one I trusted enough to gulp heartily. Wylan. I remember Wylan. Standing at the ledge of the stairs in the courtyard. Me and Alek. 

Poisoned. 

The car’s back door opens and I feel a rush of the cold night air as two gloved hands drag me by my feet from the vehicle and out onto the street. Dread coils in my stomach and my skin pricks with goosebumps, the cobble stones ripping at my exposed ankles and arms. After being dragged a few hundred feet, hissing at the burn of scapes and tearing on my skin from the uneven street, I am forced onto my knees.  I don’t feel right. Nothing feels right. Where is Kaz? 

As if in answer, the blindfold is yanked down my face from behind, my eyes blurring and struggling to adjust to the dark light of my surroundings. I am in an alley, wedged between two buildings built of collapsing brick. I can hear the faint whiz of cars, but in front of me is only a few hundred paces of the alleyway and then trees. I am not being brought here to talk. It’s too secluded. Too quiet. And the smell, bark and sap and something else… I clench my jaw. 

A shadow fills my periphery and I struggle to stay up on my knees as a figure takes shape in front of me. The navy suit, clean white shirt, the black leather gloves, the hard lines of his jaw and set of his eyes. I know why I am here. I know what this is. His stare is furious, rage and ice and merciless vengeful eyes boring into mine. 

He made the choice for me.

“Kaz,” I rasp, voice cracking and broken. 

He snarls at his name from my mouth, shoving me up into the nearest building. I stumble in my heels, his movements fast and forceful enough to drive my back into the wall with no problem. The rough edges of the brick dig into my back, clawing at my skin. This is nowhere near the last experience I had against a wall, with Alek. Caressing me, kissing me, igniting me. I try to stay calm. I try to think. But all I can see is Kaz’s face in front of me, burning with hatred and disdain as he rams me harder into the unforgiving bricks. 

I try to hold in my scream as a knife plunges into my side from one of the roofs above, deep and intense pain bursting through me. I don’t know who threw it, I don’t know how many of them are up there and how many stayed behind. I don’t know how long they’ve been in on it, I don’t know if Kaz has been aware the entire time. But I do know that now he knows, they all do. And that I won’t be leaving here alive. 

I can’t move enough to take the knife from my side, the hilt small, but the blade curved and lodged deep above the bone of my hip. Blood seeps through my dress, the red becoming impossibly darker, and the drip drip of the liquid pings against the stone street as it runs down my legs. It’s the only sound between us besides my ragged breathing, pained and desperate. 

“This was all a test of loyalty,” he says evenly. “You failed.”

And I would die for it. 

Kaz’s hands close around my throat, gaze steely and intent. I try not to panic, my jaw locking and lungs constricting with the pressure of his grip. The warmth of the blood continues spreading and soaking through my side, red and sticky and filling my nostrils with the scent of copper. I can already barely breathe, trying and failing to make it through the pain. It makes sense how loose Kaz’s lips had been with me, all the questions he had asked to try and taunt me, to reveal my relationship to Alek, how he let me teach him; he thought I would be a dead woman soon. And dead women don’t spill secrets. Or give lessons beyond the grave.

“We knew it was you all along,” Kaz says in my face, tone even as he chokes me. “Funny. You didn’t even know he was here until we flushed him out for you. Until we set up that date and watched you become the person we suspected you were. Until you crawled back to him and pretended he was the only light in the pit of darkness that’s been your life.” Kaz’s gloved fingers are hot against my pulse and his hair is falling down his forehead, sides freshly shaved. I can see every prick of stubble along his chin, see the muscles feathering in his jaw. I’ve never been this close to him before. Not even in the car. A day that felt so long ago. Like a lifetime. 

“Don’t you know why we scouted you in the first place? We knew he would try to ruin us from the inside out and use you to do it, it was only a matter of time. But that game can be played by both sides.” His voice is low, a snarl that roars in my ears, my side throbbing. “Nikolai, Alina, Zoya… you thought that you were bringing in new recruits to then turn against us. We had them first. They were always Crows, not one of Aleksander Morosova’s ravens. They have even more of a reason to want revenge on him than I do. And I’ll bet they’re being even less pleasant with him than I am with you right now.” 

A pit burns inside of me, low and feral, deepening with each of his words. 

“But even before that, I wanted you.” 

And I know, at the tenor of his voice, it’s not the kind of want that I would ever seek. At how his voice drops, so no one else can possibly hear, that I will not like what he is going to say. 

“I wanted you the moment I saw you and your father’s face in the news. When I heard what he did to your mother even though no one would believe he could have done it. I knew he did.” He is seething, spitting on me as he goes on. “I knew that he was capable of ordering violence. Of committing it and buying people’s silence. I could see it in his eyes, I could see it in the way he held you against him. Possessive and consuming.”

I have gone completely still, the very blood in my veins seeming to stop, the pulsing at my side ebbing into a dull ache. His words are in a bubble, trapped between our lips. Each syllable pops and rebuilds it, over and over. Trapping me, over and over. 

“I didn’t leave the day they came to kill Jordie.” He continues, “I thought something was wrong, for him to force me out the way he did. I hid on the roof of our building and climbed down the stairs of the fire escape a few hours later. Then I saw him. Your father. Positioning my brother’s body on our couch, I saw him take the bloodied knife and place it on the floor, beneath Jordie’s fingers. I watched as he cleaned off any fingerprints, stole away any evidence. He had no blood on him and by the two men that stumbled onto the street and disappeared down an alley, I knew he hadn’t done the actual act...

“But what’s worse? Following an order for murder or sanctioning it?” 

I feel tears slipping down my cheeks, dropping like flies on Kaz’s gloves. 

“I followed him. Learned everything I could. I learned that he had been involved with an underground drug operation for decades. That my parents had been in debt with them due to some bad decisions in my dad’s twenties. And that your father had been sent to collect or kill. To send a message to the other debtors. Little did your father know that the victims had two children, that they escaped. And that they would be coming for him.” 

The air around me turns infinitely colder, everything still and quiet except Kaz’s voice. 

“I watched you too.” He continues, fingers losing their grip a bit on my throat. “I watched to see who you would be. If we would indeed become enemies, as our parents were. I observed you grow with Morosova, how he controlled you, how he led you away all those years, how he kept you quiet and kept you in the dark so you would never find out the truth and be killed, like your mother was.” 

His words stab me deeper than the knife, my heart in ribbons. Hearing him confirm my darkest fears unleashes the worst parts of me, the parts I tried so hard to keep hidden. Terrified. Insecure. Silent. Obedient. The little girl with an abusive father and dead mother. I hadn’t been her in so long, but Kaz is stripping me down. Shredding me. 

 Kaz’s voice drops lower, as if he’s telling me a horrible secret. “He knew about it, Cataleya. Aleksander,” he purrs the name like a curse, “he knew everything. His father was one of the men your father ordered to kill Jordie. Who was a part of the team dispatched to eradicate those who didn’t pay, eradicate my parents. Your parents were working together, how fitting that you and Aleksander would, as well. Fate is funny that way.” 

The world shatters around me, broken and splintering into a million pieces. Alek knew. He sat there and listened to me while I cried about my mother, how I had desperately wanted his help to look into what happened. He had warned me to want anything was to give myself up. That the only way for me to find peace was to move forward and never look back. That if I continued to want for closure, I would never find it.

 “The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak.” He had said, over and over. 

How ironically true that had become. 

Kaz isn’t done. He continues to pick at me, the Crow in him unable to stop, his dark eyes burning with hate. “Where your own father failed, Aleksander’s father succeeded. He remembered seeing pictures in my house, of me and of Jordie. He remembered that there were two boys. And when I killed him by placing a bomb under his car to be rigged as an oil problem, his son stepped into the role to finish what his father started. To silence me too. But he didn’t and for me, for Jordie, I swore I would destroy them, brick by brick.” 

My breathing is coming out in short rasps, eyes blurred with tears of anger and embarrassment and white hot pain. I have been played. So horribly. By everyone in my life. Lied to. By every single person I had known. Even Alek. Alek, who had been the one person I thought would save me. Would be the one in the end to stand by me, to see me, to understand me. But he didn’t. He never did. He used me. Just like my father did. To be a sweet, obedient girl. 

In the few months I had known Kaz, he has seen more of me than Alek ever did. 

All we ever wanted, me and Alek and Kaz, was to feel safe and be loved. But we never trusted anyone enough to be either. So we fought and resisted and pushed. Into darkness. 

A whistle sounds from above, quick and melodic. Inej. Signaling Kaz that he needs to hurry. That enough is enough. But I can see it in his eyes. The hardness. The black pits of revenge and hatred and loathing he feels when he looks at me. It would never be enough. This retribution that he savored for years will never last as long as he wishes it to. I want to wither away into nothing under his stare. Not enough. Not his. Never his. Never a Crow.

“I know you love him,��� he whispers so none of the others lurking can hear. “I know he’s the one who saved you. But he used you, Cataleya. He controlled you. You could’ve been so much better, so much bigger. It’s a shame the apple never falls far from the tree.”

I wish it had been you to save me instead. I think, shoving the words down my constricted throat. Maybe if it were Kaz, all those years ago, then things wouldn’t have gotten so messed up. Then maybe I would have been more like Inej, graceful, strong, full of more purpose than what Alek gave me. Maybe I could have meant something. To someone. To the Crows. 

But Kaz didn’t find me. Alek did. Alek led me from the garden and held my hand. Alek stroked my hair and told me it would be okay. That I would be okay. Alek raised me to be unforgiving, to scheme and stab people in the back to fill the empty hole in my life. Control. Kaz had said. How he controlled me. How he deceived me. With love. Love. Fake. Love. Fake love. I want to cry or scream at all of them, shaking with rage. I have been a pawn this whole time. 

“We are all controlled by something.” I push out, my voice weak. 

I try to swallow and fail at the reapplied pressure of Kaz’s palms, drool and spit bubbling from my lips. The alley wall is hard against my back, the night sky black and endless above me. The smog cover is so thick I can’t see the stars, despite the bright spots beginning to dance in my vision. I feel something prick at my spine with the pressure of my position like a silent reminder, mind sharpening and resolve strengthening. Love or no love. I have to finish what I started. I have to complete my assignment. Even if it isn’t one from Kaz. 

Even if it is from a liar. 

Lies are all I have known. 

All I have to hold on to. 

I can’t be saved. From darkness. My own or from others. I have waded too deep, gone too far. I may not be a true Raven, but I am definitely not a Crow. No matter how much I wish I could be. No matter how much I came to appreciate them, to care for them, to trust them. 

Trust is the most dangerous weapon of all. 

Slipping my hands behind my back as if I am trying to scramble against the wall, I reach for the cool metal of the blade attached along the zipper of my dress, letting out a choking cry to cover the unsheathing of my knife. The movement burns my side, ripping open my wound further to pour more blood. It runs over Kaz’s dress shoes, stains my legs. I am losing it too quickly, too much of it ebbing from me at once. Kaz’s hands press harder to my throat, forcing me, willing me, begging me to die now that his speech is over. I know he doesn’t enjoy this. I know he doesn’t relish in murder. Neither do I. 

But love is love.

Control is control. 

And business is business. 

Kaz would agree on that. 

“If I’m going down, Kaz,” I begin, voice barely a whisper. “You’re coming with me.” 

Without wasting another second, I shove the tip of my knife deep between Kaz’s ribs, watching his face contort in pain and dark eyebrows shoot up in surprise, then furrow in agony. Almost immediately, I hear a scream tear from somewhere on the roofs above and feel a pang of sorrow course through me. Inej just watched me stab the love of her life. Inej, the strong, graceful warrior who had been through more than all of us. She had screamed. Wailed.

I hear her words echo around my brain. The autumn leaves. Her cream sweater. The weight of her stare. “Some people just can’t be saved. But we love them anyway.”  

My sight falters.

 Kaz’s grip on my neck loosens, then completely disappears as he stumbles back and I fall towards the concrete without him holding me in place. An arrow pierces my shoulder from above, Jesper no doubt. With that incredible skill for landing true. The impact pushes me forward into Kaz’s already falling body, his white tux shirt now stained with blood. 

The world spins, my head making hard contact with the street. 

“This action will have no echo.” The rough words leak from Kaz’s lips, voice faint and faraway. If I could cry now I would, remembering the meaning of those words that Inej had told me just days ago. We would repeat nothing now. No more harm. To ourselves or others. This is our repentance. Our forgiveness.

Kaz is close to me, for I can feel the warmth of his body and the slick of his blood as it mixes with mine and stains the concrete.

If someone told me nine years ago, when I buried that cat and found my mother buried instead, that this is where I would end up, I wonder how differently my life would have been. I wonder if I would have chosen a different path. One full of forgiveness and happiness. The one of creation instead of crime. Instead of revenge and retribution. The weight of those decisions hang over me like a cloak, protecting and exposing me at the same time. Using the last bits of my strength, I turn my head to the side to look at him. 

Kaz is on his back beside me, so close that I can reach out and touch him. Touch his hand that is limp with resignation, his side that is red with blood, his lips that are white with death. He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Even as a small line of blood trickles from the corner of his lips and pings onto the stones. I let my eyes close, pretending the stars behind my eyelids belong to the sky and not to the Grim Reaper. Pretending the stars are his eyes.

We’ve all had hard lives. We’ve all taken on assignments that were too big for us. We’ve all done things we regretted and we all leaned on each other too much for our own good while leaning on no one at all. We all let the ghosts of our pasts haunt us into our future. Especially Kaz. And that’s the problem with trusting ghosts, in the end you become one. 

You become transparent, empty, without an echo. 

“No mourners.” I manage to mumble into the night. 

“No funerals.” A disembodied voice murmurs back, but I’m not sure who it belongs to. 

And then there is nothing but darkness. 

---

~Admin Eggplant

[moved-attre]

Rewriting Cyberpunk 2077 into a bullet point list! LET’S GO!

(Disclaimer: I’m trying to be realistic. So no, “every single detail of the game changes based upon every single choice V makes” but just things I expected in an RPG from an AAA company in 2020. I take a lot of inspiration from the old trailers, and rumors of pre-2018 development.)

And this is really long, too. Sorry. 😜

Okay, so first off: Act 1 generally goes off the same as it does in canon. I’m open to other ideas, but I don’t think it’s a bad starting point. I do think V and Jackie should have had more time together, doing smaller jobs until Dex calls. Like, there should’ve been side jobs that were only available in Act 1. You have to get a minimum of 5 street cred before you get the conversation with Jackie about Dex.

The heist still goes to shit; Yorinobu kills his father, Takemura rebels against him and Arasaka factions split. V inserts the chip into their head, Jackie still dies and Dex shoots V in the head. Takemura rescues V, kills Dex, V wakes up in Vik’s and is told they have 4 months to live. (2 weeks is not enough!)

On to Act 2! The origins actually affect the game, so there’s three versions of it you can play. (Some things happen regardless of the origin, though.) For example: Corpo V has contacts in the Corpo world and pursues leads about the Relic there through their old friends. Street Kid V has contacts in the gangs, like the Valentinos or Maelstrom, who have dirty dealings with corporations and can get V in on Arasaka knowledge, Nomad V has leads out in the badlands about the corporations and gets in that way, hijacking transports to get some info. All origins can work with the corporations (like Hanako’s branch of Arasaka, Militech, Biotechnia, etc.) or against them. Like, the point is to snoop around the corporations and dig up some dirt on the Relic and Yorinobu’s Arasaka branch specifically but each origin goes about it differently?

Maelstrom vs Meredith Stout choice actually matters. It’s one point in a subplot I mentioned above, where V continually makes choices on whether they’re gonna side with the corporations or the gangs/people of NC against Arasaka in order to be rid of the Relic. Also affects V’s relationship with Johnny. You can also have a real, long term relationship with Meredith if you pick her side and get Militech support, or count on Maelstrom to help you in the main plot against Arasaka. Both sides will still attack V if they poke their nose in, meaning random encounters can still happen.

^ The subplot is like, making a deal with the devils (The corpos) or... other devils (The gangs). One person objectively could say one is better than the other, but they’re both awful. Night City is kind of rotten to the core, and V’s problems can’t be fixed by a pursuit of justice. V can still be a good person in either case, and it’s still kept kind of punk by going against the head honchos. I think this more suits the “Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have a city to burn.” quote because V is churning up a path to the top, even if their methods are purely selfish. V themselves can be uninterested in righting wrongs, but they kind of turn NC on its head by challenging Arasaka so changes come anyway.

Point, is you fuck everything up either way. THEN, V can choose whether to trust the corporations and work with Hanako to “change the system from within” without disrupting people’s day-to-day lives (short term good choice I suppose?) or to let the gangs rise up and cause total anarchy. (long term good? since the downtrodden are rising up and maybe there shouldn’t be absolute power in the hands of a few.)

T-Bug doesn’t die. V thinks she’s dead, but sometime in Act 2 gets an anonymous call and meets up with T-Bug. She went underground after the botched heist, and isn’t eager to work with V again. Maybe you do a few missions with her, and she comes around? Or you fuck up and never hear from her again. I imagine she’d love to poke around at the Relic, if V helps her.

Giving Jackie’s body to Vik has real consequences. If you give his body to his mother, you attend the ofrenda and get his bike, his mom allows you to use his den as a place to stay... It’s basically the ‘good’ choice, if you care about the characters. If you give his body to Vik, you unlock a side mission where Arasaka steals his body to find the relic. You have to go and find it but it was destroyed(?) at some point by Arasaka. You can get his pistols (Which are, aside from Johnny’s pistol, the best weapons in the game. I don’t get why they aren’t in canon...) in this route and whole lotta angst, so his mom basically hates you because she blames you for not being able to bury her son and the bar is off limits. No getting the bike, either.

More content involving Alt Cunningham. V still witnesses the scene with her and Johnny, her kidnapping and death. But, Ghost AI Alt allows V to look into Alt’s memories for information on Mikoshi. V accidentally accesses some more personal memories. We can see Alt as more of a fleshed out actual person, not just a tragic backstory for Johnny. Some of the memories do involve Johnny, and the tone is very different from her perspective. We see that Alt has genuine affection for him, but Johnny is possessive and abusive... It’s far from the relationship Johnny recalls. Of course, Johnny can see all this too since he lives in V’s head. He and V have a heart to heart afterwards, with Johnny realising how badly he treated Alt and yeah. I wasn’t satisfied with how Alt was just used as a sob story for Johnny, but I was sent an ask by an anonymous person about how the memory was from his perspective and thus biased. It really got me thinking! If I was more creative, I’d come up with a way for Alt to live... But Johnny still needs to bomb Arasaka and Alt’s death was the reason why he did that.

You have to return one of your apartments/safe houses every few days to wash and sleep. If not, V will get a penalty that means they are less accurate when aiming and slower when breaking in a vehicle. Also some NPC’s will refuse to talk to you if you don’t bathe, because... stinky.

And you have to eat! Otherwise you get hungry, and get penalties for that too. Can’t concentrate on an empty stomach. I’d say eating once or twice a day would be enough.

Instead of fast travel points (that are supposed to be taxi services, I think...? But we never see a taxi! And why can’t we just call Del? Ugh.), V takes the metro. There are side missions that can sometimes only start once you get on or off of a train. (You meet NPC’s in the train, or waiting for one.)

Takemura and Johnny are romance options, and are available for all genders. They’re the most difficult to romance, with some (kind of obvious) dialogue choices ending the possibility. Like, for example: Takemura’s romance ends badly if you choose to go against the corporations, and Johnny’s ends badly if you go with the corporations. It’s the same with Meredith, essentially, in that going against her won’t allow you to romance her. I know a rival-mance system is possible, but I think that might be too complicated.

Takemura and V’s relationship is much, much deeper. They have more time together, and grow closer. Takemura trains V in combat, and takes over from Coach Fred in the street fights side missions. You go with Takemura to fights, he’s your coach, is very proud when you win. (He’s basically training V in the event that they have to take on Adam Smasher and Oda. Like, why did we have no training montages with Takemura?!) V is able to choose romance or stay friends with him. There’s plenty more missions with Takemura too, mainly espionage stuff against Yorinobu. Finding out his weaknesses, replacing his staff with people that are loyal to Hanako, digging for dirt on him. Lots of stake outs, hehe. 😉 Romance!™️ Also makes it that much more tragic if V doesn’t choose to trust the corporations, since Takemura will end things and leave NC.

There are garages to upgrade your cars but Panam can upgrade it further if you do her missions + befriend her, and you can find super secret parts for your cars that Panam needs all around NC by stealing them from gangs or Corpos! Like, make your car go 200 mph fast or a setting to make it hover. 😎

FOUND FAMILY TROPE... Involving the LI’s + more characters. I wanted Misty, Vik, Judy, Panam, River and Kerry to all know each other and be friends. Also, somewhere for them to hang out. Judy coming down and hanging out with Misty and Vik would’ve been so cool.

Missions involving Vik. I think he deserved his own personal missions. Also, he’s gotta be romanceable! I’ll add more to this later.

I’m still figuring out how Johnny’s romance would go. It’s a tricky one. Lots of tension, jealously if V flirts with anybody... Heart to hearts... Holding hands... Passive aggressive confessions of love...

River is introduced in the main story. Maybe you team up to hunt down somebody who knows stuff about the Relic, like Anders Hellman, or something else to do with it. River’s like “What the fuck is going on?” but V doesn’t really tell him. Then, of course, you meet him later on and recognise him in the BD given to you by Jefferson.

Meeting Kerry earlier in the story, say mid Act 2? Ideally there would have been 5 Acts, and maybe I’ll edit this to include more once I figure out how the story could have gone. AND he’s part of the main story.

Less generic, “get in, get item and get out” side missions from Fixers and more side missions like the Peralez’s and that guy who got crucified. More freaky Cyberpunk subjects like what constitutes a soul, what is “intelligence” (What makes a machine different than a human? Without shitty false racism analogies), human rights abuses (and in that: classism, racism, ableism, transphobia), pollution, more on “Cyberpsychos” and how harmful that term is, etc. Nauced and thought-provoking. Reminding us that this is a dystopia and the issues are different but not all that wildly so from today. I would’ve developed Brendan’s mission more, because it seemed like we were going to see an earnest discussion on Artificial Intelligence but instead it was just confusing and “Haha, tricked you!” 🥱 Like, what if he really was a person capable of free thought and emotion? And that company still owns him and can overwrite him? Isn’t that fucked up?! It didn’t need a happy ending, just something to unnerve me.

Adding to that, Delamain had plenty of opportunities to discuss AI and the rights of individual contructs. His “children” could be freed, but nothing really happens as a result? I wanted consequences! The emails about human staff being made redundant because of Delamain were so interesting, too. I wanted to see something about the consequences of that in a city with no basic universal income. What happened to them? What can be done to help people who are made redundant by machines? So many possibilities for truly emotional and scary side missions!

I’m gonna watch black mirror for more inspiration, but stuff like the IRL blocking feature? Freaky as hell and totally plausible. Would’ve loved if one of the side missions involved V getting involved in some dispute involving something like that. “I can’t see his face!” or the copyright stuff about people’s appearances! Imagine if there was a Johnny lookalike? Engram Johnny would either find it hilarious or get really pissed off.

I’m hoping the DLC will deliver on more Takemura, so I’ll hold my breath for critiquing the Arasaka ending.

More to come! I’ll probably edit this later, if there’s any mistakes and/or I realise I hate an idea hehe.

[hookedonapirate]

Mis  Fix-It

Summary: Miracle worker. Relationship Guru. Savior.

Those are just a few of her monikers, but most people have taken to call her Miss Fix-It. Helping broken-hearted women get back together with their former boyfriends is her specialty. How does she do it, you ask? Simple—she becomes his date from hell so he’ll realize what a catch he had before he let her go.

Emma Swan is an expert at fixing relationships, it’s just too bad she’ll never have one of her own.

Her particular set of talents is put to the test, however, when a cheating ex-girlfriend requests her services. Emma’s reluctant at first. It’s not an easy task to make someone seem like a catch when they’ve cheated, but the potential client is an emotional wreck desperate to get her former boyfriend back before he heads back to England. Besides, Emma Swan never backs down from a challenge. They don’t call her Miss Fix-It for nothing. She’ll find a way to make him wish he was back in his ex-girlfriend’s arms, no matter what it takes. If only she can squash the feelings she develops for him and stop breaking her rules.

A/N: I know, I know, I shouldn’t be starting any more stories, but I was rewatching a movie I saw a long time ago, starring David Boreanaz, called Mr. Fix-It and I had to write my own version of it. I also did a gender swap because David’s character was just too Emma Swan to not write it that way. So this is pretty much My Best Friend"s Girl meets How to Lose a Guy in 10 days. I was originally going to write this for Captain Swan Movie Marathon, but I just couldn’t help myself or wait to share it! Some of the ideas in the story regarding relationships and love may seem stretched for the purposes of this fic, so please keep in mind, this is only fiction.

A big shout out to @ultraluckycatnd​ for beta reading and to @onceuponaprincessworld​ for letting me share my ideas with her!

Also available on: AO3 l FF.N

Catch up: Ch 1

Chapter 2

“You’re sure you don’t mind watching it again? I heard it’s one of the scariest movies of all time.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s the scariest, but it’s definitely scary. I can handle it,” Emma says confidently into the phone as she pulls into the parking lot of her friend’s apartment building. “Can you?”

“Are you kidding? I love scary movies. I was thrilled you suggested it for our date. If I get too scared though, I wouldn’t mind you wrapping your arms around me to comfort me,” he says in a flirty tone.

Emma rolls her eyes and forces a laugh. “Believe me, after the dressing room scene, you’ll need to be held.”

“Really? What happens during the dressing room scene—actually, don’t answer that. No spoilers.”

“I promise, no spoilers.”

“Okay, do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, that’s okay, I’ll just talk your ear off in the car.”

He chuckles. “Hey, I don’t mind. I like a woman who speaks her mind. My ex was always so quiet and reserved. She never told me what she was thinking and it drove me nuts. I’m not a mindreader.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that with me,” Emma claims, suppressing a mischievous tone as she shuts off the engine. “I don’t mind making a little noise. Or a lot of noise when necessary,” she adds in a seductive tone. “I do have to warn you, though, I can get a little too vocal at times.”

“Are you kidding? I love a vocal woman. It means she’s not afraid to express herself. You can get vocal with me anytime, baby doll.”

 Emma can hear him winking over the phone and has to refrain from rolling her eyes again, or vomiting, as she gets out of the car and slams the door shut. They haven't been on one date yet and he’s already calling her baby doll. “I’ll meet you at the cinema, say 7:15?”

“Great. Can’t wait. See you then.”

“I can’t either.” This will be the second time today she’s been to the cinema to see this damn movie. In fact, she just came from there, but hey, she has to be prepared for tonight. “I’m looking forward to our date,” she exclaims promptly, striding down the walkway to the apartment building while forcing a small smile to make her enthusiasm sound believable. A smile that immediately disappears once she ends the call and throws the phone in her purse. Her grandmother always said, people can hear a smile through the telephone, so always greet them with a smile. She was referring to business calls, especially when she was dealing with tenants of either rental houses or apartment buildings she owned, who couldn’t (or didn’t like to) pay their rent on time. In this case, however, it's a business call her grandmother would’ve never imagined if she were still alive. Emma sashays up the porch steps, and as she enters the key code to the building, her phone dings in her purse. She opens the door while digging into her bag to retrieve it.

MM: Are you here yet?

Emma rolls her eyes, a smile lighting up her face, and this time it’s a genuine one, despite being slightly annoyed. She’d just talked to her friend ten minutes ago on her way here, but Mary Margaret said she had some big news to share, and that woman can only withhold information for so long. Especially if she’s super excited, which is how she sounded over the phone. Emma looks up briefly to see the elevator doors sliding open before her eyes quickly return to her screen. She starts typing a message as she races to the elevator before it closes again.

“Ooof.” Her phone falls from her hands and hits the carpeted floor of the lobby as she slams into a solid mass.

Strong hands are gripping her arms to keep her from falling and she looks up, her gaze connecting with the most drowning, most mesmerizing, most beautiful deep ocean blue eyes she's ever seen in her life. She feels like the wind has been knocked out of her lungs, but it’s not because of the collision.

“Easy, love.” A smooth British accent fills her ears, tearing her from the hypnotic trance she’s in. 

It’s not until she peels her eyes from his when she notices the charming grin gracing a pair of perfectly soft, exquisite looking lips. She also notices he’s standing in the elevator entrance to keep the doors from closing. Even when he releases her arms to bend over and pick something up from the floor, he kicks back his foot to hold the doors open. After he rises, he places a firm hand on the elevator entrance while her phone is extended to her with the other hand.

Right. Her phone. She had temporarily forgotten she had dropped it during the collision.

“Uh… sorry, I...” she stutters as she takes the device, her heart fluttering as her fingertips lightly brush his. She shakes her head to get a grip on reality again because for some goddamn reason, her voice decided to betray her. But maybe it’s because she has a modest-sized list of qualities she finds attractive in a man, and his distinguishable qualities have so far checked all of her boxes.

Blue eyes that rival the beauty of the ocean. Check.

A heart-melting (or panty-melting, or in this case both) smile. Check. 

Sexy British lilt. Check.

Messy dark hair that looks like he’s just been thoroughly fucked while remaining picture perfect. Check.

Cologne with a hint of spice that she can detect as she passes him to step onto the elevator; it’s a subtle fragrance, yet very enticing. Check.

A gentleman based on the assumption that he’s been holding the door open for her since he saw her rushing for the elevator. Check.

Scruff on his chin that she imagines would feel amazing on her lips (or between her thighs). Check, check and check.  

“Thank you. I guess I shouldn’t be texting and walking,” she says with a strangled laugh as she presses the button of her floor, watching it light to avoid getting lost in his eyes again. To ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Which is stupid because she never gets intimidated by men. She has a mile-high fortress surrounding her heart and she prefers to keep it that way.

“Aye, that might be a good idea,” he chuckles, scratching behind his ear in a rather adorable manner as he casually leans against the elevator gate. And of course, his laugh is so fucking sexy, she has to add it to her list. 

His gaze flickers to the lit-up button and back to her eyes as he lifts a curious brow. “What unit are you heading to?”

“What are you, a stalker?” she accuses as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Just curious is all,” he answers, raising his hands defensively. "You’re going to the same floor I came from. If I were a stalker, I wouldn't be a very good one, considering I asked you where you lived instead of sneaking around and following you, now would I?" 

Emma opens her mouth to respond, but before she gets the chance, her phone is dinging in her hand as another incoming text from Mary Margaret appears, reminding her she never finished replying to the previous message.

MM: You must still be driving so don't respond. See you soon!

Emma laughs and shakes her head, holding up her phone screen to the handsome stranger. “This is why I was texting while walking. I swear my friend has a mini heart attack whenever I don't respond right away. Even though her apartment is where I'm heading,” she adds, vaguely answering his question.

He glances at the screen briefly before meeting her gaze again, and she turns the phone around and lowers it in front of her again. 

“Ah, I see. Guess you should go then. Wouldn't want her to have a heart attack on my account.” 

She glances at the elevator entrance he's still leaning against. "Might be easier if you stepped back so the doors can close.”

“Right. My apologies, love,” he says with a bashful smile, his cheeks painted with a slight blush. “As you wish.” With that, he steps back into the lobby, letting the doors slide shut. 

Her eyes are locked with his until the doors are completely closed, and even then, she’s still staring at the doors as though trying to burn a hole in them with her laser stare. She immediately feels a pang of regret from no longer being able to drown in those ocean blue eyes.

Emma blinks a few times to pull herself back to reality. The one where she’s very single and very much not looking for a man. Men are trouble, and that’s all they’re good for.

The elevator reaches the eleventh floor and Emma steps off, heading to Mary Margaret’s apartment before she receives another text from her friend.

She uses her key to enter the apartment and finds Mary Margaret sitting across from her boyfriend, both of them drinking what Emma only assumes is hot cocoa with whip cream and cinnamon. See, that’s what normal couples are supposed to do. Not sitting on the same side of the table. Mary Margaret and David may not be married, but they sure act like they are.

“Hi, Emma,” David greets her warmly, causing Mary Margaret to spin her head around.

“Oh good, you’re here!” The brunette springs up from her seat and goes around the table. She takes her boyfriend’s hand and tugs him toward the living room, practically bouncing up and down as she directs Emma to the sofa, looking like she’s about to combust at any moment. “Have a seat, Emma, there’s something we have to tell you.”

Emma narrows her eyes warily as she makes her way to the couch.

“Sit, sit, sit!” Mary Margaret chants in excitement as she and David stand in the center of the living room, waiting for Emma to have a seat.

Emma lifts a brow and quickly sits down. “What’s going on? Did the Evil Queen and Wicked Witch finally move out?”

Mary Margaret’s exuberant smile dims, but only slightly. “I wish.” 

Regina and her sister, Zelena, live in the unit directly below them, and every time they hear so much as a footstep above them, Zelena has a broom in her hand, banging on the ceiling with the end of the stick, and Regina is always calling the cops when she hears music; and not even loud music at that, but the walls are paper-thin. Any day they don’t pay Mary Margaret or David a visit about the noise is a very rare and very good day. Hence the monikers, Evil Queen and Wicked Witch.

“No, actually, it’s even better than that,” Mary Margaret beams as she and David exchange adoring looks before reverting their eyes to Emma.

“Okay, what is it?” she laughs. Her friends' excitement is contagious.

Mary Margaret holds up her left hand and wiggles her fingers. “We’re engaged!”

Emma’s mouth falls open in excitement as she sees the gold band holding an emerald green stone. She's not shocked though, only surprised that it didn't happen sooner. She knew they would tie the knot one day, she just wondered how long they’d be able to wait.

Emma jumps up from her seat and takes Mary Margaret's hand, studying the engagement ring. "It's so beautiful." She draws each of them into a big hug. “Oh my God, I’m so happy for both of you!”

Mary Margaret lets out the huge sigh she had apparently been holding. “Phew, it feels so good to get that off my chest. I thought I was going to explode.”

“I know,” David and Emma say simultaneously. 

“Jinx, poke you owe me a coke!” they both say.

“Ha, I said it first,” Emma teases, pointing at him.

“Only by a millisecond.”

“Alright, you two,” Mary Margaret laughs. “Now that we got that out of the way, I wanted to ask you if you would be my maid of honor, Emma.”

“Of course I will!” Emma replies enthusiastically and hugs Mary Margaret again. 

“Oh, I’m so glad! And you know you have to bring a date to the wedding, right?” Mary Margaret adds as they break the hug.

Emma frowns. “Do I have to?”

“Emma, come on, it wouldn’t kill you to go out and meet a guy for once.”

“I do go out. In fact, I have a date tonight.”

Mary Margaret scolds her. “Okay, one, you were hired to date him and two, our engagement dinner is tonight at 7:30 at the Radisson Plaza.”

“Oh, well I can reschedule the date for tomorrow then,” Emma assures them. 

Mary Margaret sighs and shakes her head. “Emma, when are you going to stop trying to save relationships and start finding one for yourself, huh? You deserve to be happy, too.” 

“I am happy.”

David crosses his arms over his chest and Mary Margaret places her hands on her hips. 

“Are you really?” he asks.

“What are you, my parents?” Emma rolls her eyes and heads for the kitchen, her friends following behind her.

“We’re just worried about you, that’s all.”

Emma grabs a box of Cheez-Its and turns around, digging into the box to scoop up a handful. 

“Emma, don’t eat too many, you’ll spoil your appetite,” David chides in a fatherly tone. 

“Okay Dad,” she teases and looks at Mary Margaret, continuing their conversation. “I’m happy with the way things are, okay? Some people need true love to make them happy; I only need my two best friends, a roof over my head and a job that pays the bills. And I have a very fulfilling job at that. I get to be Superwoman and swoop in and save the day,” she says before shoveling the Cheez-Its in her mouth.

“Okay, but who’s going to save you?” Mary Margaret asks with a raised brow. “Even Superwoman needs saving from time to time. Besides, I’d hardly call getting paid to go on dates with unavailable men fulfilling. Why can’t you do something you actually enjoy, like flipping houses?” 

“Okay, first of all, only I save me,” she mumbles through a mouthful of food, pointing a clean finger at her chest. “And secondly, I need money to flip houses. To make money, I need to be Miss Fix-It. To be Miss Fix-It, I can’t have a boyfriend. I mean, can you imagine me going on an actual date and the guy asking me what I do for a living? I can’t exactly tell the truth and say, I fix relationships, so if you see me on a date with another guy, don’t worry,” Emma says cheekily with a flick of her hand, “his girlfriend is paying me to go out with him. You cool with that?”

“No, you definitely can’t say that,” Mary Margaret shakes her head. “Which is all the more reason why you need to stop this, Emma,” she pleads, resting a gentle hand on Emma’s arm. “You know we support you and what you’re doing, but most importantly, we support your well-being.”

“I know, I know,” Emma sighs in exasperation, closing the box and pulling away from Mary Margaret to return it to the pantry. She sucks the powdered cheese remnants from her fingers before washing her hands. She’s heard her friend's spiel many times before. “Even if I did start dating, what makes you think I’m going to find my Prince Charming like you did?”

David grins and wraps his arm around Mary Margaret, kissing her temple. “She sure did.”

Mary Margaret blushes and smiles, turning her head to kiss his lips before looking at Emma again. “Look, if I can find love—hell if Ruby can find love—then so can you.”

Emma cocks a brow at her friend as she dries her hands with a hand towel from the rack. “Ruby has a boyfriend?” 

“Yes, she does. They’ve been dating for four months now.”

Emma doesn't know much about the woman who lives down the hall, only that she tends to be a maneater, so Emma’s kind of surprised to hear she’s in a stable relationship. “Must be one hell of a guy.”

“Yes, from what I hear, he is,” Mary Margaret nods matter of factly.

“Believe me, I’ve heard too much,” David groans.

“You would get along famously with him, Emma,” Mary Margaret adds, ignoring her fiance’s comment. “He’s an architect. You won’t get to meet him tonight though, he had to work.” 

Emma shrugs, unimpressed. “So, he’s an architect, big deal.” 

Mary Margaret gently scolds her. “The point is, she’s happy. You can be, too.”

Emma turns from the sink, folding her arms over her chest. “Yeah, and how long would that happiness last for me? For five seconds—long enough to get my heart shattered into a million pieces? No thanks.” She turns to leave the kitchen.

“Emma, not all men are like Neal,” David says, stopping Emma in her tracks. She spins around to face them again. 

“And not all relationships end with a broken heart,” Mary Margaret adds.

“Yes, they do,” Emma claims adamantly. “Even when someone is lucky enough to find their true love and live happily ever after, one of them will die first, eventually. People either leave a lonely life when they die or they leave their loved ones with a broken heart. Sound like happiness to you?”

“Emma…” David tries to get her to listen with a pained expression on his face, but Emma cuts him off.

“I’m sorry,” she sighs, glancing between them. “Today’s supposed to be a happy one. You just got engaged and I don’t want to spoil it or drag you two down with my miserable theories on love, okay? So can we just drop it?”

Mary Margaret offers a small smile and a nod. “Okay, sorry, Emma. We didn’t mean to make you upset. We just love you and we care about you, you know that right?”

“Of course I do,” Emma says with a frail smile. “I love you both, too.”

“Well, how about we all get ready for tonight. Are you sure you don’t mind changing your plans?” David asks.

Emma scoffs and waves off his question with a flick of her hand. “Please, how often do my two best friends in the world get engaged?”

“Well, hopefully once,” David chuckles.

Emma points a warning finger at them. “It better be only once because I can’t play Miss Fix-It for you, MM, since David here already knows me and my operation.”

Mary Margaret laughs and wraps her arms around the back of David’s neck. “You won't have to worry about that, Emma, trust me.” 

David grins and wraps his arms around her, kissing her on the lips. 

Emma sticks a finger in her mouth, making a gagging motion as she grabs her purse from the table with her other hand. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave,” she laughs. “I’ll be back at seven.” She doesn’t give them a chance to answer before she’s out the door.

~*~

“This movie is so great, you're going to love it,” Emma says enthusiastically as she walks with her date, holding a bowl of popcorn. “Thank you for paying for my ticket and the snacks.”

“It’s not a problem. I’m not against women paying, just to clarify, I just think it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, you know?”

“You’re definitely a gentleman, Greg, and I love that in a man,” she says, making him blush. “Can you hold this for a sec?” She shoves the bowl into his chest before he can answer.

“Sure,” he says with a chuckle, even though he’s already holding it.

Emma opens the box of Milk Duds and pours them over the popcorn. “You don’t mind, do you? I love to let the Milk Duds melt over the popcorn, it’s so good.”

“No, it’s fine. I told you, I like a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to voice it.”

Emma retrieves the bowl and starts munching on the popcorn before the chocolate gets a chance to melt. “Mmmm, I love how buttery this place makes their popcorn. It’s so good, don’t you agree?”

“I haven’t tried their—”

Before he gets a chance to finish, Emma shoves a few popcorn kernels in his mouth. “It’s good, right?”

“Mmhmm,” Greg answers with a nod as he covers his mouth and starts chewing.

“Thank you again for agreeing to reschedule the date,” she says as they make their way toward the theater their movie is playing in. “As I said, I couldn’t miss the engagement dinner, they’re my best friends.”

“I told you it’s no problem,” he says, waving off her words. “I wouldn’t want you to miss that.”

“Oh, I would never miss their engagement dinner, they're just so important to me. I’ve had friends before, but no one as loyal as them, and certainly no one willing to stick around as long as MM. She and I have been best friends since Kindergarten, and I have no idea what I would do without her. We do everything together. MM and I even lived together for five years,” Emma rambles on and on, even when they enter the theater. She looks over and has to fight off a smirk when she sees how slightly irritated her date is. She’s been talking his ear off since they met outside the theater. “Where would you like to sit? I really like the front row because I like being right in front of the action, but I also like sitting in the back because there’s more privacy,” she snorts and elbows him in the stomach, “if you know what I mean,” she winks at him.

“The middle’s fine,” he groans, rubbing his stomach like she had injured him, and they make their way to the middle, finding two available seats. 

Her eyes widen in concern. “Oh, I didn’t hurt you, did I? Sometimes I forget how strong I am for my size. I work out at the gym—”

“I’m fine,” he says curtly, holding up his hand to silence her. “Let’s just sit, shall we?”

“Okay,” Emma says in mock defense and drops into her chair. “Oh, this just won’t do. We’re right under the vent and I’m afraid I’ll get too chilly. Can we move to the back?”

“Fine,” he grumbles through gritted teeth, and they get up and move to the last row. 

Emma chews on her popcorn rather loudly and comments throughout the previews, saying things like, “Ooooh, that looks like a good one,” or “that looks so awful, I’ll be missing that one,” or she’ll joke and make fun of it and laugh hysterically, even when no one else is laughing. 

She thought this particular job would be difficult for her, considering she’s no Chatty Cathy, but it feels rather freeing saying everything that comes to mind. Every time a thought enters her brain that might annoy him, she speaks it out loud.

When the movie begins, Greg leans in, whispering, “Okay, now it’s time to be quiet.”

Emma frowns at him, continuing to obnoxiously chew her popcorn as she faces the screen and slumps back in her chair. 

She waits approximately five minutes, after the opening credits are over, until she starts talking again. “This movie is so scary,” she whispers loudly, her eyes fixed on the screen. “You’re gonna be on the edge of your seat the whole time.”

“Okay, let’s watch the movie,” he whispers back.

“Okay.” 

She watches the film intently, even though she’s extremely bored. She just watched this movie two days ago, so she knows the surprises, she’s already experienced the spine chilling moments and most importantly, she knows who the mystery killer is. “Oh my God, that guy’s an asshole!” she shouts, throwing a couple of popcorn kernels toward the screen; they land in the hair of some lady, who’s completely unaware.

As Emma chokes back a laugh, she sees out the corner of her eye Greg cowering in his seat, burying his face in his hands. Whether he’s trying to hide his embarrassment or hiding his face so no one recognizes him, she’s not sure. She smirks briefly and grabs his wrist, pulling his hand away. “You’ve gotta see this part, it’s getting good.”

He lowers his other hand, sighing in exasperation, and she can tell he’s doing his best to maintain his composure.

The dressing room scene she told him about is close and she points at the murderer, unbeknownst to any first-time viewers when an onscreen actress invites him into her room. “Don’t trust him! He’s the killer!”

“Shhhhhh!” someone shushes her from a few seats ahead.

“You shush,” Emma mumbles and sits back with a scowl on her face.

The theater is silent again, other than the soft conversation from the movie, when the most suspenseful part is about to begin. Knowing this before any excitement happens during the scene, Emma springs to the edge of her seat and screams, “Ruuuuuun! He’s gonna slash your throat! Oh my God, run, Kelly, run!!!!”

~*~

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out of the theater!” Greg shouts when they reach her car.

He looks extremely pissed. For good reason. 

Her eyes fill up with tears and her bottom lip quivers like she’s about to cry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” She turns around and starts sobbing in her hands. Or at least, she makes it look that way. In reality, she’s squirting her cheeks with water from an eyedropper to make it look like she’s crying.

He sighs and puts a gentle hand on her back. “Please, don’t cry. I just—I can’t…” he begins, fumbling for words.

After discreetly slipping the dropper back in her clutch purse, she wipes at her fake tears with her hand and turns around, glaring at him. “You can't what?”

He stares at her for a few seconds, apology flickering in his eyes. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. You seem really great, but—”

“But what?” she demands, her sadness quickly replaced by anger.

“But you talk too damn much,” he answers bluntly.

Emma slaps him in the face. “You’re an asshole!” She spins on her heels and gets in her car. 

“Wait, I’m sorry!” he shouts after her, but she slams the door in his face and starts the engine. He throws up his arms in defeat and walks away, giving Emma the opportunity to retrieve her phone from her purse and type out a text. 

Emma: Go.

She peels away from the curb and heads down Maple Street, making a right-hand turn. She proceeds around the block and stops just before she reaches Maple Street again and pulls to the curb before parking and pulling out her binoculars. She watches as Tamara crosses the street several feet ahead. She watches as Greg’s face lights up when he sees his ex-girlfriend. They have a reunion hug and chat for a few minutes. He appears to be completely relieved and makes hand gestures and faces as he talks, like he’s telling her about his awful date as she listens intently, placing a consoling hand on his shoulder. They end up walking down the street, his arm around her as she rests her head on his shoulder. 

Emma smiles in success as she lowers the binoculars, but her smile slowly fades. It’s so satisfying when she brings a couple back together, but honestly, it hurts like hell in the end. Watching the happy couple walk off into the sunset is a stark reminder of what she doesn’t have and probably never will. It’s a reminder of the large, gaping void in her heart. 

Maybe Mary Margaret and David were right. If they can be happy, then why can’t she? Why does she always have to play Miss Fix-It? Why can’t she, for once in her life, have her own love story instead of fixing the ones other people had initially failed at? Emma sighs and trails away from the curb. 

Maybe someday.  

For now, she wonders if she’ll ever see the hot, British guy again. She curses herself for not getting his name. If she knew his name, then she could ask Mary Margaret and David if either of them know him, or whether he lives there or was just visiting one of the tenants at the time.

She hasn’t had sex in far too long, so maybe that’s why she’s feeling lonely. She’s not looking for love, just a good, satisfying fuck with a warm-blooded male. More specifically, with the hot British guy she ran into. 

But who knows, maybe she’ll run into him again.

~*~

Two Months Later….

She still hasn’t seen the hot British guy since that day she bumped into him. Which is a shame because she’s so sexually frustrated, especially since she’s been fantasizing about him this whole time. She could easily invite some other guy to her bed, but she has a feeling the hot British guy is the only one capable of scratching her itch. He’s the only thing she’s craved for two damn months. Yes, hot, steamy sex, with the that man, her legs thrown around his hips, ginger scruff dragging along her neck as he drives into her is exactly what she needs right now. Emma bites her bottom lip and has to clench her thighs together just thinking about it as the elevator ascends to the eleventh floor. She hears the ding when it stops, and the doors slide open. 

She goes to Mary Margaret’s apartment, wondering what to expect. All she said in the text was, 

MM: Can you come over? It’s an emergency.

At first, Emma had panicked and replied back, expressing her concerns, but Mary Margaret assured her she and David were fine and that it wasn’t a life or death situation. She still wouldn’t divulge any information other than that.

When Emma uses her key to unlock the door, she finds Ruby crying on the sofa with Mary Margaret’s arms around her, trying to console her.

“What happened?” Emma asks in concern as she sets her bag on the end table by the door.

“Ruby was dumped,” Mary Margaret answers as she strokes Ruby’s hair. 

The sobs only grow in volume and intensity, and she’s visibly shaking as her friend tries to calm her. 

“It’s okay, Rubes, everything will be okay,” Mary Margaret coos. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Emma offers her condolences as she approaches the couch.

Mary Margaret tilts her head toward the other side of the sofa. “Emma, please have a seat.”

“Okay,” she says skittishly and takes a seat next to Ruby. She’s not sure why Mary Margaret invited her here at this time, considering she doesn’t know Ruby very well. She’s really only spoken to her a few times since she moved into the apartment building last year. “So, um… if you don’t mind me asking… why did he break up with you?” she asks Ruby.

Ruby lifts her head from Mary Margaret's shoulder and wipes away her tears with a Kleenex. She blows her nose before shifting in her seat to turn toward Emma, her eyes red and swollen with mascara running down her cheeks. “Because I’m an idiot.” She bursts into a fit of tears again and buries her face in her hands. Emma places her palm on the woman’s back, moving her hand in soothing circles as she glances up at Mary Margaret, who’s torn expression sends an uneasy feeling to Emma’s gut. Something tells her she shouldn't have asked. “It’s okay, you can tell me…”

Ruby sniffles and dabs her cheeks with the tissue. “Well, um… I did something really dumb, Emma. I mean, this guy was so fucking perfect and I royally screwed things up with him.” Ruby shakes her head, resting her hands in her lap as she stares at the tissues she’s holding.

Emma’s not sure what she’s expecting. Maybe Ruby got too jealous or clingy or maybe she lied about something huge. Considering her history, Ruby doesn’t seem like the type of woman who would try to rush the guy into marriage or having kids, so it probably wasn't that. In fact, maybe that’s why the guy dumped her. Maybe he proposed, she said no and he didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t ready to settle down with him.

“Come on, whatever you did couldn’t have been that bad,” Emma coaxes softly, but she has a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 “Oh it is, trust me. And now his roommate says he’s moving back to England once his lease is up.”

Wow, he’s fleeing the country to get away from her? Okay, maybe it’s worse than Emma thought.

Ruby sucks in a sharp breath and tells Emma the one thing that could possibly make her stomach churn, the memories of her own failed relationship hitting her like a tidal wave. “He caught me in bed with someone else.” 

Oh. 

Okay, Emma was wrong; it’s way worse than she thought. The expression on her face must be saying way too much because after Ruby catches the look on her face, she bursts into tears again. Emma politely extends her arms to Ruby, even though it’s very difficult for her to feel sorry for this woman, considering she was once cheated on, herself. Her blood burns as she thinks of her cheating bastard of an ex-husband. She sure as hell would never take him back. Not in a million years. 

She’s towed from her unpleasant thoughts when Ruby starts wailing so loudly, she’s sure the Wicked Witch and Evil Queen can hear her.

“Oh God, what have I done?! I cheated on Killian!”

A/N: So far readers have said they’re surprised by who Killian’s girlfriend is because they thought it would be Milah, but there is a particular reason for my madness, I promise. You’ll see later on...

[faedawayyy]

THIS IS POST 2: CHARACTERS WHO HAVE SOME STORYLINES AND PLOTS ALREADY BUT AREN’T NEARLY AS ESTABLISHED AS THEY COULD BE. THEIR PLOTS WILL INCLUDE MORE LOOKING FOR LOVE AND MESSINESS BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE AS MANY COMMITMENTS AS THE ONES IN POST ONE.

MILES

the only carmichael boy who is officially single from his household. i feel like this has definitely caused his mum to push her attention on to him, particularly because he lives at home. she definitely wants him to settle down with somebody and at the moment, he fake dates arabella to keep her happy but there’s more i can get out of this. SOOOOOOO...

- HIS PLANNED GIRLFRIEND/WIFE: this was charlie at one point but she has more with leo now so it doesn’t really make sense. somebody from a wealthy family who his parents wanted him to end up with. maybe they’re constantly pushing them together but the two of them HATE each other with a passion and do everything they can to mess up their parents plans. - FWB: he’s been in the shadows for quite a while which isn’t a surprise given how much leo, mason and brody have going on. but, now he’s getting a bit older, i think he’d be more confident in himself and i can totally see him hooking up after events and stuff and having a few fwb. it’d be cool if these had different dynamics too like unrequited crushes/people using him for fame etc.  - MALE FRIENDSHIPS: he’d definitely hang out with people in his family’s circle but also people who are different and come from different walks of life. as a general rule, he’s chill and not big on aesthetics and appearances if that helps anybody! 

NATE

HE’S LIKE MY 2021 DALLAS AND THAT’S THE DIRECTION I WANT TO MOVE HIM IN. he’s a rising star in terms of his music and also has a minor acting and modelling career. he definitely gets the right amount of hype too so i think he’s the best choice out of my new guys to really give like the whole ‘rising star’ thing. i have QUITE A FEW ideas for him bc i’m excited! 

SIDE NOTE: him and imogen aren’t officially end game. like they might be? but what i’m trying to say is me and nadine haven’t plotted anything like that. their official plot is that they were dating behind charlie’s back when imogen was with charlie. now imogen isn’t w.charlie, they flirt and hook up but are p.toxic and argumentative. 

- FWB/RUMOURED PARTNERS:  this one goes w/o saying. i think i’m going to cap the plot at about 3 (not including imogen). maybe 3 different girls he’s linked with and has his own thing with. bonus points if one of these is a PR arrangement and it doesn’t go any deeper than public appearances.  - SECRET SHARERS: so with his career getting bigger, i think he’d be more serious about keeping his secret which is basically back in high school, him and a few of his friends are responsible for leaving another guy in a coma (he’s still in it now) after they spiked his drink to stop him from exposing them for cheating their way into st judes. i need maybe 3 or 4 people who all had a hand in this but we can work it out together. 

- FRIENDS/PEOPLE HELPING WITH HIS CAREER ETC.

EZRA

i’m kinda stuck with ezra. i have ideas but i dont know what the best way to execute them will be? so, he obviously has his son - nicolas - who is being raised by his mother atm. he’s natalie’s son; ezra and natalie were high school sweethearts but have gone their separate ways, they coparent as much as they can. this year ezra has got closer to madison and then felicity but in both relationships found they weren’t really satisfied with just him and flirted with others...so he’s kind of in a weird place. - PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP: maybe someone who knows all about his son and has helped ezra raise him/keeping it all a secret. it would be strictly platonic. i think she/he would be ezra’s best friend and they wouldn’t have any grey area. there’s no romantic feelings but the bond is strong. 

- EX: in between natalie and then felicity/madison. maybe they broke up because he wanted to focus on nicolas and didn’t have enough time for their relationship but there’s still feelings there. i just want somebody who genuinely loved/wanted him at one point and doesn’t always find someone better :’) we could develop how things unravel in 2021.

LUKE

luke’s father is the head of film at st judes and he has a lot of pressure on his shoulders to do well. at the moment, he’s in his good books because he’s a key part of the harry potter movies which is really pushing him and boosting his profile. he’s very focused on his work but also wants to branch out and make more connections. he’s currently interested in athena but i want to dig into his past a little more.  - EX FRIENDS/RIVALS: a friend that luke grew up with and they both went into acting, that’s when the friendship became toxic. they were always trying to outdo one another and it’s continued on to this day; they both have good careers but aren’t satisfied unless they’re doing slightly better than the other one; this can be m or f. 

- HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND: he went to gallagher high school. i think it’d be interesting if they were dating and looked as if they’d be typical high school sweethearts. maybe the plan was to live in one of his parents place, get regular jobs and settle down but then he chose his career/st judes and broke it off because it got too serious too soon. bonus points if she still hasn’t fully let him go bc she truly did love him. 

- COMPLICATED EX: an ex he dated at the beginning of st judes and it just got toxic very fast. maybe the reverse of his high school girlfriend - she fell out of love with him/was stringing him along and now there’s a lot of tension.

- WILDER FRIENDS: he’s very clean cut at the moment and has pressure to be a good example for others bc his dad is so linked to the academy, but maybe friends who tempt him to go out more and enjoy this time/make memories/do crazier things.

TAEWAN

ok ok i’m getting bored but for taewan, it’s very similar to luke. BTS are really going to be pushed to be the best next year and this is going to create both new and break old connections for him sooooooo take a look.

RIVALS/INDUSTRY ENEMIES - artists who work just as hard, if not harder, than BTS but don’t see half of the benefits with advertisement and getting prime performance spots at award shows. i think there’ll even be rumours than BTS buy some of their awards. he’d 100% have enemies by this time next year and would lowkey be sad about it bc he knows BTS are in the wrong, but also his career means too much to just admit it. P.R. GIRLFRIEND - a girl who’s a rising star too and he’s placed in a fake relationship to boost both of their profiles. it’d need to be a relationship where they clash and do not get along with one another bc i think that’d be fun. maybe they grow to like each other or be at least friends in the end but !!! the more tension the better tbh.

LOVE INTEREST/BEST FRIEND - i feel like he’d have one person who is currently his best friend and they’ve always kind of had feelings for each other...but now BTS are blowing up and management are getting involved with who he’s seen with and who he can be with, their friendship is breaking down massively and they’re drifting.

BRIELLE

brielle has just moved in with imogen and park and she’s been thrown into like, the world of old money and the richest family’s in violet springs. she’s experiencing so much new for the first time. imogen and her friends have kind of taken brielle under their wing & her life has kinda separated into two.

PEOPLE WHO KNOW HER FROM THE STRIP CLUB - i’ve literally been begging for this connection since i had her. her main source of income is stripping and dancing at a sketchy club in london. i’d love to have someone who sees her regularly and even pays for her to perform for their. i feel like it could either be they become infatuated with her through it OR they lowkey do it as blackmail to make the point that they’ve always got something over her.  OLD FRIENDSHIPS - people who have NO connection to the richer families and are friends with brielle from before. they know about her getting closer to imogen and the hamiltons and brielle is almost like their eyes on the inside, and they meet up and just gossip about everything that brielle has experienced. maybe one of these friends get a little jealous at some point and accuses her of forgetting who her real friends are/changing? NEW FRIENDSHIPS - people who DO have connections to that whole circle. maybe they get closer to brielle through events that she comes to with imogen OR they kind of mock her and treat her like an outcast. i definitely think she’d encounter some mean girls.  ALSO new friends with benefits because why not! there’re so many possibilities. i’m just getting tired of typing LOL

YULIA

yulia currently lives in the home of the family she nannies for. this job funds her scholarship at st judes, but she tells everybody that those people are her parents and sisters. she gives off the impression that she was born rich and doesn’t mention her real family to anybody because she’s ashamed. she has a lot of self hatred when it comes to where she came from and is v.much continuing with ‘fake it ‘til you make it’.

GUYS SHE USES FOR PUBLICITY/MONEY - i think yulia wants nothing more than to be legitimately rich, so she’d be very picky about the guys she flirts with and gives her time too. she’s probably more determined to get a rich and famous boyfriend than she is about having a successful film career. her priorities are all over the place. 

SOMEONE WHO HELPS HER CONTINUE HER LIE - maybe one or two friends who know she’s a nanny and they aren’t her family - but she doesn’t know that they know that. however, because they like her and/or feel bad for her, they play along and help her continue her lie.

ELOISE

eloise is the oldest calloway sister and even though she’s technically a “half” sister, she’s been raised with the other girls and is very close to them - especially zara. she’s the sensible one and often has the most level-head. she doesn’t take much shit but is also a hopeless romantic and loves to be in love. she really doesn’t have much at all right now so i could do with lots of different plots:

childhood friends, people who were like sisters to her when her real sisters weren’t. 

an ex boyfriend and her first boyfriend. i feel like the break up would’ve hurt because she’s v attached to people 

a close friend who has a ridiculously big crush on her atm; boy or girl idm! i feel like eloise wouldn’t know at first and maybe freak out when she finds out and we can see what happens from there 

maybe friends/guys who have used her to get to her sister(s)

MARGO

MY BABYYYYYYY. margo is legit my favourite and thats saying a lot bc you guys know how much i love issy and hensley. she’s basically signed herself out of rehab and takes advantage of the fact that dallas is working SO hard to get everything done. she has a huge tendency to buy and drink her feelings away SOOOO.....

ENABLERS - i kind of want her to get in with ‘the wrong crowd’, and by that i mean like...people who don’t rly care that she’s an addict and want to have fun with her. i have a really specific connection in mind where they’re fwb but it’s no good for her; BUT she’s kind of easy and happy to have sex hjkl; so they just keep her on standby.

OTHER FWB - i really want her to just go through a massive sleeping around stage. i haven’t really found someone she ‘clicks’ with. she relies LOTS AND LOTS on park and even though they’re not romantic, he’s her safe space. but i think there’d be a lot of other people in her life who she gets different things from. some ideas could be excitement, or people who baby her, or someone who maybe cares a lot about her & its their only way of being in contact.

EX FRIENDS - friends who gave up on her after she went to rehab and became a mess. she’d hate them bc as tough as she acts, she HATES HATE HES being abandoned. that’s why she clings to park and disney sm, bc she knows that they’ve been her friends since the beginning. 

[luckycheesefoodie321]

Prince of Tennis (2019) meme

I was tagged by @hardworkingprocrastinator aka @rupru-russiaxprussia whom I do believe I ranted with about the Imperial Pair ship, and the unexpected potential of Si Yang x Qi Ying… so thanking you kindly for another excuse to rave about ChinaPuri… sooo uhhh time for some fun times!!

Tagging: I have 0 idea who to tag because we a smaller fandom

Warning: I have not watched or read the original manga/anime soooooo I’m in an even smaller subset of the fandom babeyyyy!!! It has also been a couple months since I watched the show, so there is a strong chance I’ll have forgotten names and situations, and just general thoughts I have... BUT WHATEVER time to rant to the thirteen people who’ve watched ChinaPuri!!!

Questions:

1. Favorite character(s)? 2. Favorite school team(s)? 3. Favorite coach(es)? 4. Favorite supporting cast member(s)? (characters who aren’t regulars, aren’t on tennis teams etc.) 5. Favorite original character(s) in the adaptation? 6. Who do you think enacted their role best? 7. Favorite singles match? 8. Favorite doubles match? 9. Favorite story arc? 10. Most amusing tenipuri scene(s)/moment(s)/running joke(s)? 11. What did you like most about the adaptation? 12. What do you think the adaptation could have improved on? 13. Any other thoughts you want to share?

Answers: THIS ISH GETS LONGGGGG SO CUT OFF NOW

1. Favorite character(s)?

MU SI YANG BABEYYYYY!!! I already love a stoic glasses boi, but Mu Si Yang (again not TeniPuri Tezuka, just ChinaPuri Si Yang) may be one of my favourite takes on the stoic glasses boi… like I don’t often enjoy live action versions of anime, especially because the acting is never the best (and granted this one too, had some okay performances) but the guy who plays Mu Si Yang melted my heart… he was the stony-faced serious captain, who could deliver a subtle joke that left you snickering… but he was also the determined, earnest, crazy talented leader with his own hidden struggles who just wanted to take his team and friends as far as they go into competition… which is an essential part of any good sports drama… and he captured it so perfectly… and I love him.. he’s so beautiful too… I would fall in love with him in a heartbeat, and I don’t often say that about characters (like I love them but never in love ya dig?)

Zhou Zhi was a close favourite…basically I just love the two genius senpais…

2. Favorite school team(s)?

Oh god… Yu Feng maybe? We spend the most time with them, they have the most screen time of all the other teams…we have a whole training arc where they’re continuously winning against the struggling to evolve Yu Qing…very reminiscent of the Karasuno-Nekoma rivalry in that they help each other get better… I would’ve loved to see the rivalry/camaraderie develop even more so that when Si Yang leaves, the relief at having this network of tennis friends would’ve been that much more powerful…

Also I really enjoy Xu Ziping’s hustle… I love the story of Yu Feng…they had a shitty coach and had to make a deal to keep winning in order to even remain an official team… and when Yu Qing faced Yu Feng, I really couldn’t tell who I wanted to root for because I knew there was real weight behind every loss for Yu Feng…

After that, maybe No. 6… they’re so chill, they’re not straining for each win and just enjoying their time on the court…and the Old Coach dude was a great character to introduce...

3. Favorite coach(es)?

Maybe No. 6’s coach… I legit can’t remember his name but he oozes skill and experience without all the stress of younger coaches who bend over backwards for success… and while, again, the circumstances surrounding his appearance was a bit waffle-y in execution (which is about par for live action adaptations), I love that he serves as a sage outsider who can assess in three seconds what kind of player Lu Xia is, and what he needs to do to improve… I love me a good wise character who still knows how to inspire people in a fun way but you never, for a second, doubt that what they’re saying is legit advice, even if their mannerisms are goofy…

4. Favorite supporting cast member(s)? (characters who aren’t regulars, aren’t on tennis teams etc.)

Oh I mean…Stretcher Bros for life amirite? They were great…they were just hanging out, trying out.. Huang Jing is kinda jerk-ish, but he’s the starting antagonist who turns out to have a pure heart and a genuine love of the sport (kinda like Tsukishima Kei from Haikyuu!! or the GoMs from Kuroko no Basuke)… and Xiu Wen is such a soft boi who wants to shower in peace without girls being in the locker room…

Put these two besties together forever…and I just love how cuddly they are with each other…no hesitation to hold hands or hug…it’s gooood

5. Favorite original character(s) in the adaptation?

Um…idk who’s an original character??? Again never watched the original anime/read the manga!

SO IMMA CHANGE THIS TO FAVOURITE SHIP!

5.5. Favourite ship? (Get ready my friendsss issa long one)

Si Yang x Qi Ying my friendssss… a super unexpected pairing that came outta nowhere!!! Because the trailer clearly shows (or maybe it doesn’t and I forgot) that Lu Xia and Qi Ying are gonna be THE THING but then we get hit with the surprise senpai-kouhai/team manager ship and I’m like uhhh were you planning this or am I reading into it too much???

Like y’all they were flirting right in the beginning… that whole bit where she stands outside the change rooms and Si Yang confronts her, and she begs him to add Lu Xia to the team (even tho he already did) and he was weirdly teasing her about the roster when he had no reason to, and she was kinda bantering back with him and she fully called him out later on… i was like, umm this is a vibe

They just kept getting thrown together in weird ways…aside from Lu Xia, she’s probably had the most interactions with Si Yang of all the other team members… she’s the only one he calls Xiao~ like the boys in the tennis club have their nicknames like Dachi, Ah Mu, Ah Yan, but only Qi Ying is Xiao Ying!!  he’s not a nickname guy… and maybe if it were a girl/cheerleader thing, you’d think he’d call Peng Xiang, Xiao Xiang BUT NO… only Qi Ying gets called Xiao Ying!!!

AND ANOTHER THING: other than Lu Xia, he’s the only one concerned for Qi Yang, despite what he says, when she gets caught in the rain and gets sick… he fully visits her in her room, and receives the call about her health after they send her to the hospital… he says everyones worried BUT YO they’re straight up just bored and end up having a pillow fight…sooooo can’t be that worried…

AND ONE MORE THING: Qi Ying, I get she’s this weird mascot/team manager figure on their team (even tho she’s meant to be a cheerleader but they never invite Peng Xiang to any of their team dinners or their training camp) BUT WHEN SI YANG RETURNS HOME, THEY SEND IN QI YING TO GREET HIM and they have this whole charming convo where she teases him...and they were chatting as if they always had this banter going on but they’d only talked like 3 or 4 times on screen before then, so there’s this whole relationship she has with the tennis team (not just Lu Xia) that is implied but we don’t really see it! And when she teasingly calls him Captain Si Yang after he returns to China, he had the softest smileeee!!! HE TOTALLY DOES HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR HER!! He didn’t want her to think he wasn’t happy to see her... and then she leads him to their surprise party in the club room and he just keeps saying Xiao Ying…  like damn you keep trying to establish the Lu Xia x Qi Ying ship (and it is a decently strong ship) but Si Yang x Qi Ying is soooo good!

After this Rival Pair, and then Golden Pair - our resident married couple

(POST Here: all the gay faves they didn’t even try to hide)

(POST Here: almost confirmed ships by the end)

6. Who do you think enacted their role best?

I…I think this is obvious… NEXT

Jk… other than Si Yang, I really enjoyed the guy who plays Lu Xia - Peng Yu Chang… he played the typical “stoic, super talented/genius sports idiot” type prolific in sports anime (like Furuya from Daiya no A, Kageyama from Haikyuu!!, Midorima from KnB)… but he was never too stuck in his head, and he was never mean… too often there’ll be a moment where this type of character is played too seriously, gets stuck in their own head, and lashes out at anyone they deem getting in their way, especially when they feel they’re stuck in a rut… which Lu Xia is in, for essentially the entirety of the show, in one form or another…

But PYC played Lu Xia as this mildly cocky, but still incredibly enthusiastic young genius who is looking for the next big challenge so as to further himself, but is so obsessed with this one opponent (his dad), that he can’t see the bigger picture and realise his entire way of playing is a mirror of the very opponent he’s trying to overcome… but even at the height of his stagnation, he’s never mean to Qi Ying, who tries her best to support and encourage him… while he does distance himself from the team, it’s not an active dismissal of their assistance or support… he can play a straight faced comic when embarrassed/discombobulated (like Si Yang when faced with Yan Juice), but also always participates in most of the weird antics his team is up to… and it never feels OOC and thats clearly a result of Peng Yu Chang’s subtle acting…

ALSO PENG YU CHANG IS IN OUR SHINING DAYS, A SUPER UNDERRATED CHINESE FILM THAT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO BE ADAPTED INTO LIKE, A ONE SEASON SHOW AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH IT

7. Favorite singles match?

Oh pfft… please… PLEASE IS THERE EVEN A QUESTION it was arguably the best match of the whole show, it was what we were all waiting for, a super tension filled, super hyped up match because it features my favourite character, who has simultaneously been promoted as THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM but also super injured and avoiding over-exertion… MU SI YANG…against his personal rival, whom had never tasted defeat before, and subsequently trained like crazy, throwing all of the money at professional players, FOR A YEAR, in order to be ready to face him… JI JING WU

That’s right baby, its the Imperial Pair Match (I do hope I’m using all these nicknames correctly..I just tried to pick them up from the anime/manga to save time writing out their names XD)…

This match is everything you ever want in a match…it’s a gritty, no-holds-barred, all-out, clash-of-titans-style face-off between probably the two most talented players in that whole (province? Prefecture? Idk China regional names) BUT YEAH THESE TWO ARE CLEARLY TOP TIER PLAYERS WHO FINALLY GO HEAD TO HEAD… it’s a year in the making, Ji Jing Wu is in peak physical condition, but Si Yang is not…and yet we see Si Yang powering through the literal agony of an arm injury that threatens complete destruction of not only his tennis career, but his general usage of that arm… and for glory and to bring his team to the national stage, Si Yang lays it all on the line… and he still gives Ji Jing Wu a run for his goddamn money… he matches him hit for hit, and at one point he was even WINNING…and had it not been for his arm, I swear up and down that he would’ve beaten Jingwu…

BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART… i mean, all sports anime and just shounen anime in general have those moments where the characters are down and out and summoning the power of friendship and determination to their side to go above and beyond the physical limitations of their bodies… NO THE ACTUAL BEST PART WAS JI JINGWU’S RESPONSE TO THE WHOLE SITUATION

The goddamn respect he gave Si Yang.. this is his rival, the only person he’s ever viewed as equal and even superior to his own skills (at least as far as people the same age as him go)… Jingwu wants to beat him so bad… and he’s heard the rumours about Si Yang’s injury, and he even sees for himself how bad the injury is… but as a skilled player who recognises skill himself, he does not do Si Yang the disrespect of going easy on him… what kind of arrogant prick has that kind of nerve to give less than their best to someone who is giving them 120% effort… no, Ji Jingwu doesn’t hesitate to hit back full power, even as he’s yelling at Si Yang to stop before his arm is utterly destroyed… because the last thing any person of talent would want, is to see another person lose such an incredible gift… but even worse than that, have that person realise someone was going easy on them... it was so goddamn beautiful… and when Jingwu grips Si Yang’s hand and raises it high because he and everyone there knows who the real winner of that match is…they all know that they just witnessed something incredible, and he wants everyone in the stands to not only acknowledge it… but remember it…

And then he proceeds to fund Si Yang’s surgery, his flight, his meals, his rehabilitation, AS WELL AS take care of his team… and if that isn’t love, idk what is… like they don’t even disguise the hard core DEDICATION AND LOVE... Jingwu has obsessed over Si Yang for a year and it goddamn shows

Honourable Mention: I really enjoyed Zhou Zi versus the demon child whose eyes go red…we finally get to see Zhou Zi stretch his legs and push himself and I LOVED THAT… like he’s actually trying his best and that’s dope… also the match against the captain of the team his little brother his on… he basically led this cocky motherfucker by the nose for 5 games, pretends to be losing, and then destroys him in the following 7…

OH AND I GOTTA SHOUT OUT MY OTHER GLASSES BOI YAN ZHIMING VERSUS HIS BEST GUY FRIEND FROM YOUTH… that was a beautiful evolution of Ah Yan transcending but also evolving his data tennis against his childhood friend and it feels good ya know?

8. Favorite doubles match?

Oh pfft anything with the Rival Pair… they bicker like cat and dog, but then you put them on the court together, and suddenly their chemistry is through the roof… also Baiyang and Qiao Chen are a stronger couple than Qiao Chen and Yu Xing Zi and that’s the damn tea

(Same two posts for why that tea)

9. Favorite story arc?

Oh man… ummm training arc with Yu Feng was fun but it was definitely beaten out by the “village raises a child” arc when Si Yang leaves, so literally all their previous opponents step up to encourage, train, or otherwise intimidate Yu Qing into giving it their all, improving, and ultimately winning the finals… plus this arc gave so much depth to the network of teams who all have the same aspirations, in the end, and want to push forward the people who beat them to not let their loss be in vain…and that’s pure…

10. Most amusing tenipuri scene(s)/moment(s)/running joke(s)?

Yan Juice... especially the first time NEXT

Honourable Mentions: When Lu Xia gets stood up by Xinglong Lu Xia running interference on Qi Ying’s admirer in the final ep When Zhou Bros run into Lu Xia in the dressing rooms Stretcher Bros trying to become Painter Bros

11. What did you like most about the adaptation?

It captured the essence of a good sports anime: power of friendship, ridiculous action sequences of outrageous moves that would never be allowed in real life, determination and guts is all you need to succeed, that all-or-nothing mentality of high schoolers who suddenly have tunnel vision and no future thinking whatsoever, and decide to risk life and limb for one match… plus it kept a charming and comedic beat running throughout, really endeared you to the characters, and their struggles... AND NO ONE WAS MEAN... well I mean Ya Jiuxin was an angry bitter jerk for a hot second, but he ended up being endeared towards the lil fluffball kouhai of his, and we all know he loves Xinglong in his heart of hearts... other characters like Jingwu, or demon child, or Zhou Yu’s captain were cocky or arrogant, but they were never mean to each other, and respected each other’s game play even if they were defeated.. a couple were poor losers, but they didn’t throw a fit or try to get revenge or anything like that... everyone, in general, had some decency to them, and in fact all of Yu Qing was a super nice...sometimes too nice and self-deprecating that you wanted to smack them...

12. What do you think the adaptation could have improved on?

This is mostly just a consequence of live action adaptations of sports anime where they have to condense a whole lot of story that is already condensed from the manga into a palatable show that anyone, not necessarily pre-existing fans of the original source, can enjoy… the story around the characters seemed waffle-y and disjointed… sometimes things would happen but wouldn’t connect smoothly to the next thing that happens… there was this whole implied close relationship between Qi Ying and the team that just was never shown… I would’ve preferred they made her an official manager, so it would make sense that she’d be so close to the team, when for whatever reason, Peng Xiang wasn’t…even tho they’re both cheer captains…

The match sequences were cut down a little too much (tho I get why)… I would have loved that final training arc to be extended, to fully flesh out how discombobulated Yu Qing was when Si Yang had to leave, and how forcefully the other teams picked them up and got them better… so to develop the dynamic between the teams before this would’ve been good, but obviously they can only got the core actors of each team at a time… hence that barbecue scene… but if they’d pulled off something like the Haikyuu!! Tokyo training arc, or even something like in KnB where the teams were thrown together in wacky hijinks or impromptu match situations to develop their camaraderie (and they sorta tried to but nothing really came of the interactions), it would’ve made the final training arc THAT MUCH MORE heartwarming and I would have cried..

13. Any other thoughts you want to share?

I’ve already said enough. The end.

[bionicallywriting]

Prompt: Hermione/Bill, pining

Word Count: 1712

For @frumpologist

Scant Love Not

While flowering, ladies, scant love not

Lest all your fruit

Be but this black outcrop of stones

—Sylvia Plath, Two Sisters of Persephone

As someone who prided herself as an intellectual, it was perhaps appropriate that Hermione would be knocked off her lofty perch by a massively inexplicable infatuation.

She had always admired Ron’s tall, broad-shouldered build; he had the type of naturally athletic figure that sent very unintellectual butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He looked like how a man should; strong, tall, with the bluest eyes she had ever seen on a person. It was not—well, unnatural that she should develop a tiny crush on him. They had grown up together, after all, and what girl hadn’t fantasised about marrying her childhood sweetheart? 

It was just a pity that they weren’t interested in the same things at all and that most of their conversations were so contentious that she was annoyed for weeks afterwards. Everything she said seemed to set Ron off and vice versa. Sometimes she found him so irritating that she wanted to hex his face off.

Then Hermione met Bill Weasley.

Suddenly she understood her infatuation with Ron was just a small, miniscule shadow of the real thing.

It was terrible to compare brothers. Hermione knew this. Ron was the last of the brothers, and Bill had been the first, the scion, the bright star in the happy horizon of Molly and Arthur’s blissful nuptials. Their upbringing would have been completely different, and yet—

—And yet, Hermione couldn’t help seeing in Bill all the things she had admired in Ron, and more.

Everything about Bill Weasley was just more. He was the best looking of the brothers, with a cleancut, chiseled jawline that Hermione couldn’t help but peer at and admire secretly. Less superficial than his looks, however, was his intelligence, his love of books and knowledge, and his gentlemanly chivalry. Everything about him was just more, more, more, and Hermione couldn’t help but compare every single boy she met after that to him.

It was unfair. She knew this. He was almost a decade older. She knew this too. He was completely out of her league since she was still in school and his little brother’s friend. She knew all of this.

—And yet, it didn’t dim her infatuation. Not one bit.

xxx

Every year that Bill remained single was another year in which Hermione hoped and prayed to grow up to be his equal. It was hard not letting her fantasies get out of control when he finally announced his intention of returning to Gringotts in London. 

This was a sign—wasn't it?

The logical part of Hermione's brain had gone on permanent vacation, replaced by someone who had perpetual heart eyes whenever she thought of Bill Weasley. It got so bad that her relationship with Ron was more acrimonious than ever. Before, she had swallowed her ire in favour of diplomacy, but now that civility had been exchanged for a coldness that rivaled first year animosity. Harry, bless his heart, submerged in the troubles of the Tournament and on the outs with Ron, didn’t even notice.

She no longer waited for Ron to step up and be a man anymore—no, she had someone else in mind for that. When Viktor Krum asked her to the Yule Ball, it hadn’t been with Viktor in mind that she accepted. In the back of her mind, she had thought, older boys liked her. They found her attractive. Wouldn’t he also?

She was turning ugly and dark on the inside, but the grip of a teenage infatuation was strong, overpowering. She was doodling his name on her notebooks rather than notes from class. Something inside her told her she was being unfair to Ron, that she should do something to heal the rift between him and Harry, but her mind was focused on other things. Other possibilities for the future. A meeting between two minds. 

Surely he’d see her. He’d really and truly see her, not as a little girl, but as an equal.

xxx

It was a shock when Ginny first mentioned that Bill was dating Fleur Delacour. 

He couldn’t. Hermione listened with white-lipped shock.

“Two months now,” Ginny said with a grimace. “Ugh, I can’t stand her.”

Ginny had a fairly good relationship with all her brothers, but with Bill and the age gap between them, there was a special bond. She was filled with acrimony at the interloper Fleur. She was haughty, she was snooty, she thought everything about England was terrible—then why didn’t she simply go away and leave Bill alone?

In her thudding heart, Hermione couldn’t agree more. “Maybe it’s not serious.”

“Merlin, I hope not.” Ginny rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror and added another layer of lip gloss. “I couldn’t stand her during the Tournament, what with Ron following her everywhere, but now this is even worse.”

It was much worse. Hermione remembered Fleur’s unnatural effect on Ron, and her heart sank. What if—what if the Weasleys were more susceptible to Veela than other wizards? Harry hadn’t been as affected, after all, nor some of the other boys in class. Ron—perhaps Ron had been a special case?

Ron wasn’t a special case, and Bill proved it by proposing to Fleur over the disapproval of his mother. 

“They were going to live abroad, but then Bill decided to settle down in England.” Despite her gloomy air, Ginny managed to pop an astounding three Cauldron cakes at a time into her mouth. “I hope they’re not going to live at home. I can’t stand to have all of my brothers mooning over her. What makes her so special anyway?”

“She’s—”

“She’s not even that pretty. It’s completely the Veela thing, because all the other girls in school thought she was too bony and pointy-looking. Kind of like a bird, if you ask me.”

“It’s not the looks,” Hermione said, remembering what had been in her textbook. 

“I know.” Ginny’s subdued response was almost covered up by the rustling she made digging around inside the snack box. “I know. It’s the allure. They could be as ugly as a troll, and nobody would care.”

“Yeah.” Hermione was feeling fairly gloomy herself. If someone like Fleur, who was already thin and elegant and pretty, had on top of that the allure of a Veela, what chance did bookish, frizzy-haired Hermione have? None. Added to it all was her age. She was fifteen. The distance, in mere numbers, meant nothing to her, but in practical terms, Bill could have physically been on the moon itself.

“Let’s hope she latches onto someone else.” Ginny tossed the empty cauldron cake box across the room towards the rubbish bin. 

Hermione turned to watch the box spin a little before going in the bin. She turned and smiled at Ginny before shaking her head. “Will she though? I mean, Bill’s pretty—” She caught herself before she spilled out all her feelings towards him. She bit her tongue before continuing. “He’s a really good catch.”

“I know. He’s tall, he’s good-looking, he’s extremely charming. He even makes a lot of money at Gringotts, much more than she does, since she’s just starting out. I just don’t see how she could find someone better, considering that she’s part-Veela, and—” Ginny’s voice dropped to a stage whisper “—not exactly acceptable to a lot of Purebloods.”

Then what chance do I have? Hermione thought mournfully to herself. Aloud, she could only repeat her words again, “Yeah. I know.”

xxx

They were married.

Before the bridal party came down, Hermione bumped into Bill outside near the marquee.

“Beg pardon,” Bill said instinctively, hands clasping Hermione on the upper arms to steady her. He glanced down and smiled, as though only realising it was her. “Oh, Hermione, how are you?”

“Good, good.” Hermione felt and sounded, to her own ears, a little breathless.

“You look lovely in that dress.” Bill was smiling in his usual open, charming way. Hermione thought miserably that any children Bill and Fleur were bound to have would have an unnaturally unfair advantage over the rest of the population.

“Thank you,” she said, keeping her eyes down so that her love for him wouldn’t shine through so obviously. Her fingers twisted at a fold in her skirt.

“I’ve heard from Ron that—well, you’re probably the only reason those two are still alive and kicking, aren’t you?” His voice lowered, as though imparting a joke, and a sliver of awareness crawled up Hermione’s spine.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s vastly overstating my—contributions.” She was floundering for small talk. This was misery, and yet she did not want it to end.

“Anyway, thank you for helping out. This can’t be that much fun for you.”

“It’s—nothing,” she said, her voice trailing off as his attention was called away. Hermione was left staring after his disappearing figure. The pangs she put into her own appearance seemed silly now. Had she truly wanted him to see what he was missing? She felt like an idiot now.

She felt even worse when the ceremony started, and Fleur came through the archway looking like a fairy princess. She glowed so brightly that she might have been an actual celestial star passing through the darkness of their presence. When everyone watched and gasped over Fleur’s appearance, all Hermione’s attention was fastened on Bill’s profile. Her heart twisted inside her chest.

She wished with all her might that he was looking at her in that way.

[itsana004]

Zexal month Day 2: Kattubingu brings us together

I have many favourite characters, but only few of them really really holds a special place in my heart, and those people are:

Kaito Tenjo, Haruto Tenjo, Droite, Chris Arclight, Ryoga Kamishiro, Rio Kamishiro

But I need to mention the Seven Barian Emperors and some families for sure

There were so many other interesting characters but I don't know why I didn't get attached to it...

Kaito Tenjo because...

Kaito Tenjo is a great character! Who doesn't love him? He was such an iconic character from day he appeared on the screen of my TV. I pretended to hate him but who was I kidding? My heart melted everytime I saw his face (exception of when he does the world domination pose lol). Apart from his amazing hair and very very handsome face, let's talk about his character. I love everything about him, I really love when he roasts Yuma and Shark and snaps when Heartland arrives again in Zexal II (oh the insults were priceless) but I mostly love his other character shown to people who he cares about, his caring side. He is also very selfless, proven when he was fighting for Haruto and in the moon. I also love his egao and pride XD but it can't never reach the level of egao Mizael has for himself. I could go on and on but let's stop here.

Haruto Tenjo because...

Do I need to say more? He such a cute and a sweet kid! He is the unlucky kid who developed the illness and this had led his father, Dr. Faker to cause many outrageous stuff, and Tron/Vetrix to lead more outregeous stuff. And who could blame him? He wasn't himself, what he did to the Astral world wasn't him, he was operated to survive with what Vector given them, and also lost every memories and his father and Heartland controlled him ;-; This is such a tragedy, everything he went through, but it was only to cure him. He was a kid and deserved to live. His caring character also makes him so lovable, his worry towards his brother, chocolate and everything is so cute! :3 And omg, he loves butterflies, and he also had a butterfly deck in the manga, yeet

Droite/Dextra/Dolowa because...

I know she is a secondary character and her character is very undeveloped but she holds a special place in my heart, I think it's because I always imagined how she could have been used based on her character. I really really had hope that she could beat Tron/Vetrix but my heart was broken at the end. But hell I loved how selfless she was, and so accepting! I don't care if she's older than one year, Priyanka Chopra is 10 years older than Nick Jonas and they got married and do you think I am gonna even care 1 year age gap! And I loved how caring she was towards Gauche, they had a beautiful brother and sister relationship and my thoughts were confirmed in Zexal II in the italian dub. She is also a very cool and collected person. I also loved her roasts to Yuma, like Kaito XD Droite is a rare type of character, she threatened Kaito (who fled away XD) to protect him against Tron, and later on, he really did lose. She also holds into those memories to feel strong! Strong enough to not have her memories taken easily. Maybe they didn't show in the dub but in the sub, before Nasch activated the card 7 Barian Force card, Dumon said "You're a tough one" so she really had a chance against them. But her lack of screentime and her role really reduced her to a minor character, like many other characters. But really interested me is her past, which made me theorise and think more. But she really did change my world and I am grateful that she's one of my top favourite female characters.

Chris Arclight/V because...

He is such a great character! The Arclights, in general, were great! In complete honesty, I hated him when I saw him the first, and all the other Arclights except for Michael/III. The reasoning of their revenge was so flawed, I mean I know you hate Dr. Faker for what he did and want him to feel the same way you feel, but why do that?! Kaito and Haruto did nothing to you and don't make things worse for them than it is, don't even dare to put hands on my precious babies! Of course, Tron is a villain so be it, but V? How could he? He was Kaito's mentor and he should know how he feels, the sons are not to be blamed for what their father has done. But after I saw the good side of him, I calmed down, and I actually got to like him and imagining all sorts of comical scenes inside their livelihoods in my head XD I got to love him as a character after I saw the roleplayers tbh. But then Zexal II came out, and their return made me so excited and loved him teaming up with his disceple and how much they humiliated Mizael for the first time in his life in a duel XD

Kamishiro twins because...

They are also my precious babies and I love both of them individually and together because they are one of the best siblings in my list.

Ryoga was just another school bully antagonist that becomes a good boy at the end... or that's what I thought. But I had no idea that he would be Yugi Muto 2.0, I mean he wasn't only the leader of the Barians, but was also a king, and was reincarnated into a human body, sounds familiar right? XD

But he is a great person inside, loves his sister to death, lots of egao XD, and he's so goddamn serious that everyone imagines comical scenes with him either with his sister, Barians, the trio they are (Yuma and Kaito), and Arclights obviously IV (I know you do don't lie). I also love his deck and his caring side towards Yuma, everyone finds him gay but I find that he's a trustworthy bud like any great friend, or Yuma would have died by now and they needed to make his caring side consistent. I know he betrayed Yuma in the end but deep down inside he was chasing him all along... oops sorry wrong line!-

Now let's talk about Rio. She was the only female who was treated fairly in Zexal II and I loved her sass and the way she handles her brother and speaks over him XD It's hilarious her phobia of cats but completely neutral about snakes. Her backstory is sad and she died like 3 or 4 times??? Forget about writers treating her fairly but I intended the role ^^ I was about to dislike her because they easily changed their minds and when they find other suspicious but they were their enemy now, but I never could dislike the Kamishiro's, they were just too precious and understood how they felt.

The 7 Barian Emperors

I love them lol.

I love Alito and Gilag's humour.

I love Mizael and his egao.

I love Dumon's precatious nature and his friendship towards Nasch

I love Vector's trolling side but dislike him as a person ^^' but I loved the one before he was cursed. Hey don't come at me it's just an opinion 😢 I don't like him as a person but I find it funny! Exception for his past, which was brutal. All of them has sad backstories, which made them more interesting and intriguing. I also dig in a bit looking into the location, the writer's did a pretty good job I would say and I found out more about them.

Now favourite friendships

Yuma and Astral: Do I need to say more???

Yuma x Ryoga x Kaito: They are the best tsun trio buds ever!

Kaito x Chris

Shark x IV

Kaito x Mizael: They are more like rivals but hopefully they will become friends

Alito x Gilag: They are just hilarious 😂

Rio x Tori

Favourite families

-Tenjos, Tsukumos, Arclights, Kamishiros

Okay, this blog is longer than it should have been so I am going to stop right here now ^^"

[madsthecreator]

Doris: 1, 2, 3, 6, 42; Ellie: 7, 8, 11; Elizabeth: 1, 2, 3, 18, 34; Isabella: 5, 7, 8, 15, 25; Jean: 11, 12, 21, 26, 28; Kitty: 1, 9, 16, 29, 31; Madison: 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 34, 38; Mads: 42, 43, 44, 45; Madé: 1, 4, 8, 9, 18, 20; Skylar: 22, 23, 24, 25; Sophia: 29, 35, 36, 39; Willow: 42, 43

@bpdanakins

Thank you so much! This is pretty long, so I put a “keep reading”. If this breaks the app since it’s so dysfunctional smh, please let me know! Also, please excuse the different types of formatting throughout the answers, MDR.

Want to ask questions, too? Check out the list.

DORIS (PJO)

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Doris is a demigod, so she is bound to have some siblings! Her father is Hades so while he does not have too much offspring, they’re still there. She is very close to Nico and Hazel, who are both slightly younger than her. Her Big Three (Zeus, Poseidon, Hades) cousins are all close to her in age, too. She respects Percy the most, for he never really took a hostile attitude towards her like many people do with the children of Hades.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

I’m still somewhat developing her backstory/family life, but like all heroes and children of Hades: dead mother. Unlike her other siblings (and most people), Doris can still communicate with her mother. I like to think that even with her mother technically being dead/a ghost, Doris has a good relationship with her. Her mother is also motherly towards Nico and Hazel, too, which is lovely.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Somewhat paternal and somewhat professional Doris does find herself hanging out at her dad’s place a lot, but she also runs a lot of errands for him. (Nico does it, too.) While they may not have a close, warm relationship, it is not hard to find that Hades does care for his children, and that they would defend him against the others. BTW, there is also a lot of banter between Hades and Doris, and I dig it.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Not really but like many demigods, her dreams often hold significance. Dreams tend to help guide what is needed to be done next, or there may be a message she needs to hear.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? 

I haven’t really thought about this. Technically, everyone in the Greek world is related but I like to think that Doris has a positive relationship with Persephone, her stepmother. Perhaps she also gets along with Mr. D, lol.

ELLIE (RE)

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Events of Raccoon definitely affected her, especially for the first couple of years. This has faded away (as nightmares of different outbreaks took over, lol) but it still lingers. It will never really go away.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Yes. Her boyfriend, who was training to be a cop at the time, kind of showed her the ropes which was good in hindsight.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Raccoon City comes to mind, but specifically when she thought she was going to lose Leon. The initial outbreak, however, was quite terrifying because she was all alone and had to navigate her way to RPD all by herself.

ELIZABETH (TR)

1. She’s an only child. She has cousins on her maternal side, but she never sees them.

2. & 3.

I’m combining these two. Liz has a very strained relationship with her parents. They can both be described as deadbeat. Liz’s mother also never aspired to be a mother and after her relationship with Liz’s father dissolved, she went off the radar. No one really knows where she is. Liz’s father (Lara’s brother) is also not in the picture. The reasons are not fully known, but he and Lara have bad blood with each other. (Specifically, the issue of their parents but there is more to it.) Let’s just say that Liz’s hates both of her parents. They abandoned her. They never come to visit. Why should she care about them?

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

I definitely believe that she admires ambition over wisdom. However, she sees value in both…she just discards advice from those who are not her family. (She even discards Winston’s wisdom at times!)

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?    

Depending on context, she may retry a solution/method once or twice, thinking she made a mistake but after that, she’ll figure out a new solution/method.

ISABELLA (GTA: VC)

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?    Before she fully rehabilitated, traces of cocaine. There may be a few coins and a knife. She can’t afford to not have protection on her. Maybe some condoms, because the people she used to live with made her go on condom run so they wouldn’t get…busted. It became a habit to have them.

7. Her nightmares consist of her family meeting their ultimate demise and her (former) addiction ruining her.

8. I like to think that her first target was at her dad’s boss (who had him sent to jail) but more realistically, the first time she fired a gun was a warning shot for a rival family to step back, or someone trying to assault one of her family members (specifically, the people who raised her).

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

She was raised to think money first. Materials are good (especially for business/merchandise), but money is the ultimate power. That’s what people care about the most.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?   

Pretty quickly. Mafia is supposed to be about family, but Isabella definitely trusts no one. Especially not the Forelli Family after her father was sent to prison. Like her father, she takes loyalty seriously and therefore, do not cross her.

JEAN (ST)

11. This is a hard one. I think one of the scarier moments of her life is when her father was no longer in the picture. Her mother did her best to raise Jean and her brother by herself but at the beginning, it was hard. Jean’s mother fell into a depressive episode. She was active with her children, but Jean could tell that her mother wasn’t entirely there, and it scared her.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Hard to say. Jean is generally a calm, laid back type of girl. However, when she is too calm, that shows how angry or afraid she really is.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

It depends on that situation. For example, if something happened to her family or friends, she blames herself. She could have protected/save them. Why couldn’t she? However, if we are dealing with the supernatural side of her life, she blames the people responsible for that and claims that she will kick their ass.

26. How does your character behave around children?   

Pretty well. Dustin is her younger brother and while they are super close, they would also probably try to choke each other or have really heated banter. That’s just how siblings be! She also finds herself around the Party a lot, often having to drive them to places since none of them have their license lol. El and Max often go to her, asking for advice and having “girl time”, since they like and trust her. She doesn’t mind, though. El and Max are cool and when Billy was harming his sister? Watch out: Jean’s about to throw hands.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?   

You would have to get Jean really, really pissed off if she resorts to physical violence.

KITTY (ST:AOS)

1.

Kitty has a sister who is about seven years older, but they have a good relationship. Her sister also has children who close to Kitty’s age (Kitty was around ten when her niece was born). She’s close to her sister and family, even while she’s enlisted in Starfleet. If you count in the Enterprise family, Kitty is also one of the younger ones. She’s around Chekov’s age, so they have a close and developing relationship :)

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?   

I don’t doubt it. The best way I can describe Kitty’s family is lower middle class. However, since joining Starfleet, she’s been making money which has lifted the family socioeconomic class up a bit. (She sends money back to help support her family, whether they like it or not.)

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?    Happiness. She can find success very easy, but being happy is harder. Much harder.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Okay tbh, I’m kinda still deciding on what the dream is specifically but I can confirm that Kitty’s dream did come true :)

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. 

On the Enterprise, she likes to wear comfortable clothing (yoga pants and large t-shirt), hair pulled up in a ponytail, and she’s streaming media (tv, movies, youtube; stuff like that) while reclining on her bed and eating junk food.

On Earth, she feels comfortable with being reunited with her family. She loves her home base, and family is important to her.

MADISON (TR)

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Uh…yeah. She survived Yamatai, and she also goes to Siberia and Peru later on (yes she’s in all the reboot trilogy games don’t @ me). She has seen a lot. Others do know about this. Her fellow Yamatai survivors know and her family has a concept of what happened to her, but not really. The only ones who do understand is Lara and Jonah.

5. Pockets. What pockets? Madison does carry a purse, and a lot can be found in that. Her wallet, pads, pens, snacks, a hairbrush when needed, earbuds, keys. When she’s on expeditions, the purse is replaced with a backpack and has more stuff in it, like first aid and research supplies.

7. Nightmares are definitely PTSD-related. Events from Yamatai, Siberia, and even Taititi have all affected her the most. Yamatai definitely struck her; it was horror on that island. She may also have nightmares of her loved ones either haunting or being killed (because of her).

8. Her first target was at one of the Solarii Brotherhood members on Yamatai

11. Yamatai is probably the most traumatic experience she’s ever endured (haha). There’s also this one time where a Trinity member attacked her at her university, when she was on her own home turf, and that was pretty terrifying itself.

34. She’ll quickly move on to find a new solution/method but if she’s tried everything, she’ll rebound to the original or may combine certain aspects of everything she’s tried.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?  

She will try her damn hardest to remove a problem/threat. She’s not the main player for it, she’s more side-kicky. She knows when she needs to take a step back, removing herself from the situation.

MADS (RE)

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

It depends how she views it. She had a really good mentor for her job post-Raccoon City. English teachers from high school could count, haha.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Yes. She’s kind of a kid magnet. She’s also one of the more feistier and protective type of person, so this could apply to her friends too.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Difficult. She can say “I love you” to her brother easily but with other family members it’s hard. I don’t think she wouldn’t say it without meaning it because she realizes that it is correlated with strong responses, both with her and with other people.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She doesn’t like to think about death. She’s dealt with numerous “zombie” outbreaks over the years since Raccoon City, and has a big fear that she’ll turn into one of them. She’s also not a big believer of heaven or hell, but she does wonder what happens after life on Earth.

MADÉ (SW)

1. Madé is the oldest out of four daughters. She’s not really close to any of them, but it doesn’t mean that she loves her sisters any less! She lived in Naboo’s capital and later moved to Coruscant, so her visits were somewhat sparse. Then she moved to a desert planet, when contact was even more rare. I will say that the sister she is closest to is the sister who had Paige and Rose Tico. (Still trying to decide if Madé is their aunt or great-aunt, haha!)

4. I would say so. The Fall of the Republic, Order 66, and the death of Padmé were some of the biggest events that affected Madé. After all, watching something you fought so hard for crumble (she never liked Palpatine, let’s be clear on that right now), as well as a group of people slaughtered (she can’t help but think of the padawans and younglings the most), and watching someone she cared so much and dedicated her life to dying right in front of her? And then having to figure out how to keep her children safe? That would be hard on anyone.

I would say Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Bail Organa and the Skywalker OC I have yet to develop/name, lol are some of the more prominent people who know about these traumas.

8. She was Padmé’s handmaiden and bodyguard, so yes she has fired a gun. (Blaster would be the more appropriate term.) The first target? Someone who was trying to harm the Queen of Naboo or one of the other handmaidens.

9. Hm….no. Madé didn’t come from a rich family and while she had a better economic/social status when she became a handmaiden, it depleted after the fall of the Old Republic. Actually, her status now might be lower than she originally started out with.

18. She has seen a lot of ambition in her lifetime, so wisdom is always a welcoming change. (However, fuck the Jedi Council. lmao.)

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

This is hard! I would have to say her age somewhat concerned her as she was at Padmé’s side. She is one of the oldest handmaidens, and on Naboo they valued youthfulness in their monarchy. It kind of worried her how the Naboo governors viewed her (Palpatine didn’t particularly like her, because she saw his true character). A lot of people also judged her for staying with Padméfor all those years. Shouldn’t she move on? Have her own life? (Ouch.) So, I guess she would have compared herself to the other handmaidens but she really didn’t let the criticisms affect her. She knows what she wants in life.

SKYLAR (OUTSIDERS)

22. What does your character like in other people?

She likes those who have integrity and stand up for themselves and for their loved ones. She likes reliability and stability, too. While she needs someone serious, she also likes to kick back and have fun, too!

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Those who harm others just for the hell of it; bullies. People with big mouths AKA those who don’t know when to mind their own business. She doesn’t like those who think that they are better than others, especially those who are of upper class. Fuck them.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Hm. She’s not one to trust quickly but she doesn’t take awhile in trusting someone. I would say, especially after the death of her parents, she can be wary of others. Not only for herself, but for her family too. She wants to keep them safe as much as she can. Honestly, in order to gain her trust, you have to prove yourself to her and to her friends/family.

25.Suspect can be quick if something has been brought to her attention. She will give the benefit of the doubt but she can also read people pretty well. She doesn’t like to be paranoid but she has to keep her guard off for her family.

SOPHIA (IT)

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Sophia doesn’t remember what her childhood dreams were, so she can’t really say if her dream came true. However I can say that while she grew up, she really didn’t know what to do. She did always want to save people so technically, in that way, her aspiration came true.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

In general, she gets super nervous. Butterflies in her stomach, blushing, the whole nine yards. She would also try to be as interactive as she can with her crush.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

She makes it very clear. She’ll scowl at them and when they insult her friends, she throws clap-backs that are either very eloquent or very brash.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

She’s been nipped by dogs, but it never affected her. However, she remembers Pennywise’s rows of sharp teeth, and that stirs uneasiness within, even if when she couldn’t remember why. (She always associated with not liking sharks thanks to Jaws.)

Also, I just imagined as a kid, she got bitten by a raccoon or something while she and the rest of the Losers were in the woods LMFAO

42. Yes. Her stepfather. We can even argue that Stan and Patty (who she and her brother refer to as their uncle and aunt) have been parental figures to her, too.

43. No one I can think about. Maybe like, the Marshcom (is that the ship name? idk lol) baby or a small pet, but that’s about it.

[nightmare-grass]

So I’m officially Spidersona trash

Here I have compiled the main characters, their abilities and personalities, and their relationships within the story I am currently working on and have been working on ever since the Spidersona movement of 2018.

1. My personal OC

- Name: Nora Weaver

- Age: 19

- Alias: Jumper

- Based on the Bold Jumping Spider

- Quirky, inventive, sneaky, caring, impatient, smart, and kinda egotistical

- Saw the Prowler fighting Prism on tv one time and thought, ‘hey, those rocket-boot things are pretty cool’

- Later on she made her own rocket boots for a college science fair (it’s a high school science fair, tbh, but colleges scout for talented students to give scholarships to), she promotes them as footwear for rescue efforts and stuff like that

- At this science fair another kid was doing experiments on spiders and one escaped and bit Nora, giving her spider powers

- Since Nora’s thing is mechanics, she got her more chemistry-inclined older sister to help make her web fluid

- Sister’s name is Amelia

- She eventually designed her own suit and was from then on known as Jumper

- Only her sister knows her true identity

- She has arachnophobia (coincidentally)

- She’s adopted and it turns out her biological father is Dr. Octopus

- Her birth mother is a woman named Mary Alice Anders (Otto and Mary split up in Otto’s tragic villain backstory)

- She gets scrap and parts from an auto body shop and the son of the guy who owns the shop is really cute and Nora has a crush on him. His name is Dominic Mazzetti.

- One humid summer day Nora drops down in an alley in her spider suit and peels the spandex off to sit at her waist, having been wearing a tank top underneath, in order to cool off. She realizes too late that she’s right next to the auto body shop when Dominic comes around the corner, looking to take a shortcut, and sees her. She webs him up, jumps onto the rooftop with him, and starts freaking out, but she makes him promise not to tell anyone her secret. From then on they work together more closely.

- Gwen Stacy is kind of the designated bully, seeing her as a rival for good grades, so she mockingly call her “Snora” since Nora falls asleep in class quite a bit due to her hero work

- Eventually Gwen and Nora become friends

- Nemesis: Doctor Octopus

- Recurring Villain: Screwball

“Alright, lets start at the beginning one last time. My name is Nora Weaver. I built some rocket boots, was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last year and a half I’ve been one of a few spider-themed heroes in my city. I call myself Jumper. I’m pretty sure you can figure out the rest. I saved some people, joined a spider hero team, graduated, started college, nearly dropped out, and now I’m in the process of saving the city again. By the way, I was in the middle of that. Catch ya later!”

2. Peter Parker Gender-bend

- Name: Penelope Parker

- Age: 18

- Alias: Ladybird

- Based on the Ladybug Mimic Spider

- She was the one with the spider science project

- when one of her spiders bit her, it momentarily distracted her and she let two more escape, one biting Nora, another biting Skylar

- Wears glasses

- When they get to community college Penelope meets Harry Osborn and after a while of being friends they start dating. This will not end well.

- Nemesis: Green Goblin

- Recurring Villain: Black Cat

“Alrighty then! I guess we can start at the beginning one more time. My name is Penelope Parker, and for the past year and a half I’ve been the hero known as Ladybird. I was experimenting with some spiders and radioactive elements when three of them got out and bit me and two of my now best friends, and so we decided to form a superhero team. I figure you know the rest; we saved the city, started college, I got an internship that ended up being a trap, my aunt May died, and now we’re trying to save the city again. Yeah, it hasn’t been great.”

“AGH, Harry is such a dreamboat!” Penelope twirled around gaily and flopped onto her bed with a sigh. “I don’t deserve him,” she murmured with a smile.

Nora rolled her eyes. “Of course you deserve him, Pen! In my eyes, you deserve the world,” Nora said matter-of-factly.

3. OC

- Name: Skylar Tran

- Age: 19

- Alias: Spider-Shine

- Based on the Mirror Spider

- Non-binary, they/them pronouns

- Black hair dyed blue

- Filipino

- Reflective/shiny skin (yes, like the Twilight vamps, get over it)

- Cocky, flamboyant, funny, millennial humor, depressed but doesn’t wanna show it, being a superhero gives them something to live for

- Has scars from depression on their arms

- Very much an anime fan

- Starts out as a “Hero for Hire” where they got paid for rescuing people but quit that as soon as they found out about Tombstone and how he scares the people of NYC into paying him so he doesn’t let worse things happen to them

- Nemesis: Tombstone

- Recurring Villain: The Tinkerer

4. Symbiotesona

- Name: Amber Herald

- Age: 31

- Alias: Prism

- Symbiote

- Bonded with Prism when she was 23 and working for the Life Foundation

- They’re lesbians, Harold.

- Prism’s thing is light refraction, so she can turn invisible

- She’s an established hero when the three newbies get bit

- Their origin story is kinda like the Venom movie except they don’t take down a big bad corporation or stop an alien invasion

- Prism is a forced spawn of Venom

- Life Foundation captured Venom to make more Symbiotes but Prism was one of the few Symbiotes that escaped with a host

- Dreamcasting Idina Menzel as Amber

- Nemesis: Any evil Symbiotes that happen to pop up.

- Recurring Villains: Prowler and Kraven the Hunter

Side Characters

1. Harry Osborn

- Son of Norman Osborn

- Has a degenerative disease that Norman tries to fix with experimental science

- Goes mad, becomes Green Goblin

- Before he’s the Goblin, he and Penelope start dating

2. Gwen Stacy

- daughter of Police Captain, George Stacy

- Gifted in biochemistry

- Wants to become a forensic scientist for the NYPD, following in the footsteps of her father but in her own way

- On weekends she is the drummer for MJ’s band

- Sees Nora and Penelope as her academic rivals and sometimes bullies them

- Loves music

- Is a lesbian and has a crush on MJ but she’s still in the closet

- If I ever want to make her into Spider-Gwen, I could kill off Amber and have Prism bond with Gwen

3. Mary Jane “MJ” Watson

- Intern/reporter for the Daily Bugle

- Sometimes self-absorbed, mostly self-assured and witty

- Has a band called The Mary Janes where she’s the lead singer and lead guitarist

- Keyboard player is Glory Grant

- Drummer is Gwen Stacy

- She’s bisexual and she has a crush on Gwen

- With her hot temper and Gwen’s bull headed stubbornness, they have quite a few disagreements

4. Felicia Hardy

- becomes Black Cat, an antihero

- Her dad used to develop tech for Oscorp when he was found “stealing” some of the tech he worked on and was laid off

- Her dad used the tech he’d developed to aid him in cat burglary because he couldn’t find a job and had to support he and his daughter but he was caught stealing from one of Kingpin’s businesses

- Felicia used her dad’s tech to steal enough money to pay for his bail but kept stealing afterward

- Takes up a Robin Hood-like role where she steals from rich assholes like Kingpin and Norman Osborn and gives back to the homeless of NYC

- She’s really quiet as a civilian, almost unnerving, but that’s because she spends all day coming up with cat-related quips and catchphrases to use when she goes out as Black Cat

5. Screwball

- I want to add more to her character, really dig deep and find the person behind the vlogger/criminal nut job

- Her crimes are just stunts and dangerous pranks on important figures

- She live-streams every crime

- Started off with a prank channel on YouTube but when she started drawing the attention of Jumper and the bunch for her dangerous stunts, her videos started to get more views, so she just scaled up her pranks to draw the attention of the heroes even more

- Expert Gymnast and Media Influencer

- Some of her fans are so rabid for her that they’ll commit murder at her slightest suggestion

[the-apocryphal-one]

Legally Blonde is a masterpiece and all the people who think it's another vapid chick-flick are missing out on something really special. Elle Woods is such a good role model

GOD YES I was like blown away by how AMAZING it was and how much I LOVED Elle. Or really, everything, but especially Elle. There are SO many important messages delivered in that film, like lemme just run down it real quick:

- breakdown of stereotypes. Elle is blonde, rich, beautiful, and super feminine.  But even before Elle goes to Harvard, she’s also shown as very smart, she has a 4.0 GPA and positions of leadership in extracurricular activities and spots a saleswoman trying to pull the wood over her eyes. And through hard work she gets where she wants to go!

- but because she’s blonde, rich, beautiful, and super feminine, everyone she meets assumes she’s the regular dumb blonde. even her own parents! and she hates that!!! she wants to be seen as something more than blonde and a pair of boobs. people not looking past the surface and not expecting anything from her hurts her SO MUCH. and even though she gets knocked down, she always gets back up and pursues what she wants.

- also, everyone (but Elle) assumes Brooke murdered her husband because of the age gap and what other reason could she have for marrying a man that much older than her? again, stereotypes are shown as blinding people!

- also!!!! Elle never has to sacrifice what she loves to succeed!!! she keeps on being girly and passionate and warm!!! she even gives her valedictorian speech about it!

- everybody reacts in disgust when they learn about Callahan sexually harassing her. there is NO “she brought it on herself” and Vivienne is totally horrified she misread the situation.

- Elle naturally comes to the realization the guy she likes is a total tool and she shouldn’t hang on to her relationship with him. “I’ll never be good enough for you, will I?” broke my heart but I’m SO PROUD OF HER

- such good female friendships. her sorority friends. Paulette. Vivienne. Brooke. they’re all so supportive of each other ilism????

- speaking of which, female friendship between her and her love rival. sure, they start out catty and competitive, but they both realize they shouldn’t let their relationship with a guy stop them from being good co-workers and friends. I actually said out loud “I dig this” watching that play out because IT’S SO GOOD.

- David and Emmett are so sweet and I love how her romance with the latter was background. if you took out the graduation scene, it would honestly have seemed like just another one of her heartwarming, well-developed friendships.

- little things like Vivienne always being made to grab the coffee really sell how commonplace sexism is. it seems normal to the viewer until the characters talk about how it hurts them and then it just. sinks in.

Like how did something this good ever get produced??? If I ever have kids, Legally Blonde will be one the top 5 movies to show them. I would honestly be so proud if they turned out anything like Elle Woods.

[anchoredtether]

Why I think Plance and Kallura as endgames results in the best character development arcs

[THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS, IF YOU DON’T LIKE ONE/BOTH OF THESE SHIPS, YA DON’T HAVE TO READ THIS]

These two ships happen to be my main ships for the fandom (and I’m quickly becoming a Hunelle diehard) and I think the reason why is because of the meaning behind these two ships and how they relate to each other.

There are some gorgeous tropes and symbolism (and overall fantastic messages) in these two relationships, even more so if both ships happen because of their impact upon each other. 

Delve into my literary rambling below the cut.

First let’s start with Lance’s obvious crush on Allura.

Lance is immediately in love with Allura, or at least the idea of her. In season 6 we learned that he eventually passed the infatuation stage (at some point) and developed genuine feelings for her. You can see this in the series as he progresses from obnoxious flirting to giving her motivational speeches and being an emotional support. 

This scene was huge. Lance’s feelings for Allura were actually addressed in season 6, and yet he treated her as a supportive friend instead of trying to take advantage or capitalize on her broken heart. Season one Lance might have done that, but not the Lance we have now.

If Lance moves on from his crush on Allura, we already know he’ll stay a supportive friend. This is huge. Most shows would approach this situation as Lance matures but he still ends up with the girl of his dreams, or even worse, Lance matures and forgets about Allura entirely (or even WORSE is Lance maturing and Allura coming to him after her breakup with Lotor because “Lance has been there for her all along” *gags* For a good discussion on why Allurance is a disservice to both Lance and Allura, read this post). I’ve seen it happen so many times, and you know what would be incredibly refreshing?

A man and a woman progressing from unrequited love to a strong, platonic, supportive relationship. 

Things get even better when you add Keith ending up with Allura.

Lance and Keith may not have a “rivalry” like Lance likes to claim, but it’s clear from episode one of season one that Lance does not like Keith. I don’t think it’s outright hatred, but for whatever reason Keith just gets under Lance’s skin, and he feels the need to always prove himself better than him. (some Garrison flashbacks may better explain why this is, but for now it’s all speculation)

Keith and Lance have both amazingly progressed into the roles they were meant to fulfill. Keith never wanted to be a leader, he was always comfortable being a loner. Lance is a showoff and wanted to get the glory and lead the team. In the end, Keith has become a strong leader and Lance has become a leader in his own right by being Keith’s right-hand man.

That character/relational development in and of itself is incredible.

But it gets even better if Keith ends up with Allura. Why? Because not only would Lance become a great friend/partner to Keith, who used to be his rival, but if Allura ends up with Keith Lance could potentially end up supporting his “rival” who is now dating his “dream girl.” Most shows take such a scenario where Lance would become incredibly jealous and vindictive, and ruin both his relationship with Keith and Allura.

How often do we see someone turn a rival and an infatuation into a brother and a platonic friend? I think that’s an amazing message.

Another fantastic development is Keith and Allura’s relationship.

Honesty time: I really did not like Allura at first. She had to grow on me before I came to like her. When she started hating Keith for NO REASON besides the fact he was Galra, I wanted someone to slap some sense into her. Luckily, Keith did.

Keith and Allura had a definitely rocky start to their relationship, even before Allura started being racist. I feel like Allura had little faith in him since Keith was reckless and a bit of an emotionally loose canon in the beginning (which you can hardly blame her, but still) and never really seemed to understand where he was coming from. 

Over time their relationship has progressed, Allura saw the fault in her line of reasoning, and Keith in turn became more patient with her. Keith and Allura’s progression shows that it’s the actions and heart of a person that defines them, not their race (and symbolically can apply this to gender, sexual orientation, appearance, etc.). 

Allura falling for Keith breaks the barriers that you can fall in love with someone who shares characteristics of those who have hurt you - that not everyone of a similar characteristic can be “lumped together,” as Keith worded it.

Not only is this an amazing message against racism, but literally every other kind of triggered perception towards people of a certain race, gender, nationality, religion, wealth, or what have you.

Alright, girl power time.

First off, Allura and Pidge are two vastly different yet fantastic role models for all girls. We have Allura, your typical “girly” girl who is gorgeous and likes sparkly things, and Pidge, your typical “tomboy” who doesn’t fall into typical feministic stereotypes and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. Two stark contrasts, practically polar opposites for both appearance, quirks, interests, and personality.

But both our girls are strong role models in their own right. 

Allura is a leader but she still has her insecurities, she isn’t afraid to sacrifice for the team and she loves everyone dearly, she admits when she’s wrong and works hard to set things right. Pidge is ambitious, pragmatic, brilliant, and although she can have a sharp tongue at times she is basically a force to be reckoned with (which I love considering she’s a very smol human). 

At first Pidge is rather savage towards Allura. There were moments where I was thinking “well, you’re not wrong but was that really necessary?” Basically Pidge has no filter. YET, despite the tension between these two at first, Allura never becomes cold towards Pidge (like she did Keith lol). These girls are supportive and loving towards each other and that by itself is a great message because most people would say that two girls with these kinds of personalities would never get along.

And while yes, if Plance and Kallura both become a thing it would show that the two only (lead) female characters end up in relationships (instead of going the “strong independent woman who don’t need no man” route), it would show that whether you’re a girly girl or a tomboy, you can find love. Most shows would only emphasize one of these girls finding true love, while the other is left forever alone. Besides, I think everyone can agree that both Allura and Pidge are VERY MUCH the “strong independent female” trope.

They don’t necessarily need a man, none of us are questioning that. But wouldn’t it be nice to have already established strong and independent women have a man to love and who loves them back? Now THAT, would be refreshing.

Now here’s my favorite part.

Lance and Pidge ending up together covers so many beautiful tropes. With Lance’s Loverboy character you’d expect him to end up with a gorgeous woman, maybe even a girl who is a bit of an airhead. At first we all think he’ll end up with Allura one day, and now there’s speculation he’ll end up with Romelle. Because falling in love with a princess or a beautiful blonde is such a common thing for characters similar to Lance. It’s also a bit expected that Pidge will just end up with Hunk, someone else who is a total nerd. Preps and Jocks marry each other while nerds marry each other, that is just what is stereotypical and to be expected.

But what if the jock and nerd fell in love?

I think this would cover so many strong messages for both boys and girls. Lance has this terrible perception of what makes a girl desirable (at first) but we see him progress (especially in the comics) into digging a girl who is courageous and smart - two amazing qualities to focus on in a partner instead of just looks!! And considering Pidge isn’t exactly “curvy,” it could showcase how Pidge truly IS beautiful in her own way that doesn’t conform to the standard sexualization of women in society. Showing Lance, who had those kinds of societal standards, falling for someone like Pidge, who does not meet those distorted standards, would be completely out of the norm. And I love it.

I also really like the idea of the genius falling for an idiot? I know this is portrayed in the media a lot, but it’s such a good trope. Pidge could easily never pay Lance any attention and write him off as “too stupid for her,” but instead we see her trying to be patient with his limited understanding and explain things in a way he can understand. Lance in turn has progressively shown more interest in science-related things and tries to focus on the things Pidge does/says instead of just saying “I don’t get it” and ignoring her.

Lance also praises Pidge’s brains?? And not in a flirtatious way either, it’s genuine and full of respect. He knows Pidge is the smartest one on the team and he acknowledges her for it. Coming from the “idiot” of the team, that is incredible. You would expect Lance to get frustrated with Pidge being so smart or try to play her down (like the bully calling her out as a nerd) but he doesn’t. Lance does not fall into the toxic trope of men wanting to be smarter than women and becoming frustrated when they’re proven wrong. Instead Lance knows Pidge is smarter than her and is humbly proud of it.

The writers have also said that Lance will end up not with the person he wants, but the person he needs. And I think this covers the trope of marry your best friend. Yes, Lance and Allura are close friends now, but who was he best friends with since episode one? Pidge. Who was someone that was always under his radar but has always been there? Pidge. Who is someone he gets along with so naturally he doesn’t even have to try? Pidge.

Dude, the guy didn’t even know she was a girl till she revealed it.

I also think it’s amazing that Lance has never shown any romantic interest in Pidge (yet). And I think that’s a great message because the best relationships are built on friendship. We know that Lance’s relationship with Pidge isn’t based off of any kind of romantic desire or lust, but instead the simple genuine concern and love one has for a friend. I personally think Lance does have romantic feelings for Pidge, he just hasn’t realized it yet (because Pidge is her best friend, not a crush to flirt after - and that’s currently what he thinks love is).

Likewise, if Pidge falls for Lance it tells the message that people can change. Lance was kind of a terrible, shallow person in the beginning, I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. Because of this, it would be easy to have Pidge never fall for a guy like him. But Lance has changed (arguably he’s had the most drastic change of all the characters) and you’ve seen it in how Pidge treats him with greater respect now. Especially in the comics, she takes his points into consideration and doesn’t make fun of him (too much). 

His character development is what makes Pidge attracted to him, and change for the better is always attractive. (although part of me thinks she was physically attracted to him at first since she always got annoyed with him flirting and whatnot lol)

Ok I’m rambling too much so I’m going to stop here.

Basically Lance and Pidge getting together, Keith and Allura getting together with Lance being supportive of Keith and Allura, and Pidge and Allura forming a stronger friendship - I’m here for that amazing combination and the messages it gives. It breaks stereotypes and tells a fantastic story and gives all the characters the development and growth they deserve.