#very fun; loved the like effects and lighting and stuff. i appreciate that. the adults were going so hard and love that too. you gotta....

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Good 4 U

This video debuted on the 11th of June, 2022, and is another collaboration with Adriana Arellano! This is an arrangement by Rob Dietz, and here's what Voiceplay had to say about the song in the description: "We actually love this song and “Good for you” by Olivia Rodrigo is also one of Adriana’s all-time favorite songs. So the resulting collaboration is a fun and cathartic revisit to our teen angst-filled years of tying up the phone lines and waiting for the dial-up modem to finally work. If you listen carefully, you’ll hear a tribute to those young adult years of which we speak within a couple lines around the bridge. Paramore’s “Misery Business” never sounded so harmonic!"

Forgive me for sharing a picture of the video screen with the progress bar and everything, but for once I actually wanted to call attention to the thumbnail. Firstly because Geoff's eyeroll is amazing and iconic, and second of all because Eli is giving a thumbs-up (i.e. the gesture for "good"), Adriana is holding up 4 fingers, and Cesar is pointing to the camera/at you. Thus, good-4-U (you)! Kinda clever!

Right, now to the actual video. I want Cesar's shirt and Eli's jacket!

(And I'm fairly certain Voiceplay filmed this in a parking lot or something?)

Also I'm gonna point out right now that there's a light breeze (or, more likely, a small electric fan or something) giving Adriana's hair some movement during the video, but it is also blowing Geoff's hair a little bit the whole time and I adore it 😄

Adriana: "you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks"

Cesar: *gasp*

Geoff is of course my favourite in Voiceplay for Very Obvious Reasons, and I don't want to have a second-favourite or anything like that because all the members (J None included!) are amazing and wonderful and talented in their own ways, and no one is truly "better" than anyone else. HOWEVER, if you made me choose a second favourite member, it would have to be Cesar

And Adriana killed it with this one! Totally gave this performance her all (including with her acting!), and definitely did the song justice

Cool Guy Eli! (I really do love that jacket)

Cesar being the only one looking down the camera, and giving us one heck of a smoulder!

(Also a brief moment of appreciation for Geoff wearing a shirt that actually has a bit of brightness/vibrancy to it 😝😁)

Camera distortion effect like in Dream On!

I know he's got like grey hairs and stuff (which I still love, let me be clear), but at the same time, how the heck is this man in his early 40s? He ages like fine wine honestly

Cesar doing air-quotes on "emotional" 😄

Very, very cool 👌

Can't really think of anything to say in my little outtro here, but it's a cool video, great song cover, and definitely fun to revisit every now and then!

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2022: Days 22 thru 25

Let’s get into it:

Malignant (2021):

Warning: Scenes of domestic abuse early in this movie

I wanted to love this movie. Or more accurately, I DID love this movie but with a big caveat. The over-the-top gothic atmosphere throughout, the Giallo-esque murder sequences, the mystery of what Gabriel is (I thought split personality up until the reveal). Of course, even when I believed that, I had sympathy for the main character and just wanted her to get the help she needed, not the butchers she had years ago. And the ending was a heartwarming, with a bit of bittersweet, that most horror movies don’t have nowadays but I felt was earned here. Outside of a few jumps, I was never really scared, but I was having fun.

And then they revealed what Gabriel was. Now, my problem wasn’t that it was ridiculous or unrealistic (if anything, it helped). It was a personal thing. Depictions of birth trauma, in this case twins eating each other in the womb, ALWAYS made me light headed enough, I need to lie down and get a drink of water. Like I can’t power through without that, if at all. Maybe I have some unresolved trauma of my own. 

So this isn’t a real flaw of the movie. And overall, if there’s a sequel coming, I can't wait for it...to show up to streaming, so I can watch it in my home, with a couch and a water bottle on standby.

Hubie Halloween (2020): The first Adam Sandler movie I’ve seen in ages. And watching it, it’s hard not to remember why. Sandler’s title character is one set up to be what’s funny to do in any given scene rather then a consistent, well thought out character. If this was funny for you, that’s good. I just felt I didn’t understand why a man who says he loves Halloween is startled by stuff like a four year old.

The choice to make most of the adults tired of Hubie’s schtick to the point almost all of them play pranks on him, while most of the teenagers are kind of indifferent to him is odd. Like I get the reason is so younger viewers side with him more. But in-universe, it’s like the older generation have been dealing with him and their own issues for so long, they’ve made him the scapegoat. While the Gen Z Kids, while most of them think it’s funny to scare him, seem more willing to work around him. It and the unearned happy ending implies, if accidentally, that if he’s a tyrant, he’s an ineffective one, because eventually, everyone can work around and ignore him.

And yes, Steve Buscemi’s ‘Werewolf’ character is one of the best parts of the movie, along with the ‘escaped mental patient’ subplot with how that ended. They subverted two horror movie tropes at once, but in a non mean-spirited way, which is appreciated.

The House of the Devil (2009):

Ti West’s earlier horror movie, this time a more committed throwback in presentation, I think. What it’s film on, the fashion, the effects, even the pacing feel at home with any of the 1970s films. 

Though even with that, it’s still an odd structure. First act is entirely setting up the main character. The only thing remotely creepy is the Tom Noonan’s character fairly erratic behavior. Even based on similar films actually from this era I’ve seen (Black Christmas, Phantasm, Hell Night, etc.) actually do more to set up some scary right at the beginning. But this is pretty par for the course w=from what I’ve seen from West. The second act is really just Samantha getting the feel of the house, nothing happening except her putting it together gradually that she is in the lion’s den. 

And then the last twenty minutes kicks things into high gear and doesn’t let up until the end. It’s actually watching this part that interestingly enough reminded me of Get Out and it’s climax. Not to say I think Jordan Peele ripped this off. Outside of the slow burn followed by frantic escape from a house with an evil family, these are still very different movies with different goals and even different genres. 

The ending was just kind of that. No subversion or moment that made it clear what was the big message was. It was an ending that fit in with, like I said, any horror movie that came out around 1983 or such. Like WNUF earlier, it’s a throwback that would’ve fooled me into thinking it was made then if I didn’t know going in. I guess the point WAS “they don’t make them like they used to”. For batter and for worse.

Warning: Sexual Assault scene in third act.

Evil Dead (2013): Another personal marathon tradition of mine; I try to watch one of the Evil Dead movies every year, and this year, it’s the 2013 remake (Or is it? Honestly, you every film in this franchise is a remake in some form or another at this point, so it doesn’t really matter). Some horror movies are made to make you scream, others to make you unsettled, some to thrill you, and some to make you puke. This one is built to make you WINCE. In addition to the plots involving Necronomicons and demonic possession, this franchise is built on making you believe everything in it hurts. Though the others stab, this one feels more like it slices. 

While I liked Ash vs Evil Dead and thought it was a worthy continuation of the previous movies, I’m not alone in thinking it’d be good to continue down this road too. I’m not sure we’ll see Bruce Campbell as Ash again, but I do want to see Jane Levy as Mia again, with or without him. Though if they get funnier with each installment is going to depend.

Also, this again has another scene with body violation. Technically, the whole movie is about that, but there’s a more overt case to start it off after the book is read for the first time.

Censor (2021): A film about a film censor going insane after watching too many “video nasties” bloody horror movie can sound like a bad idea if you look at it the wrong way. But as I hoped, while this movie makes it clear how extreme horror movies at this time can be, it knows who the real horror was. (Again, like a previous movie I mentioned here). While some of the images in these films didn’t help Enid’s condition, it was clear she was bringing a whole lot more unchecked baggage to this job then should be healthy. I liked how it was ambiguous at what point she truly snapped. For all we know, she was already dangerously unstable at the start of the film given how she acted during her first scene with her parents. 

I’m not sure about the theory that it was actually her who killed her sister. I guessed it’s consistent with her mental state, but what was it over? Was it because she was crazy even before that? Though with that, we could be going to demonizing the mentally ill, which I don’t like. 

But points to the film for pointing out that horror filmmakers don’t try to invent the horror, but help people vent it out. I liked the film director when we finally meet him. How he seemed at the start to be all Colonel Kurtz, until he just got tired of Enid being stubborn and lost his temper. Hell, the whole message of this film can be summed up in one of the most famous lines from another certain Meta Horror movie (”Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative”)

The ending is just perfect. A “happy ending” disguising a clear picture of the ultimate harm excessive censorship can do to people. (Possible subtle jab to Little Shop of Horrors theatrical ending?)There’s a fine line between knowing not to take on too much and just trying to disconnect from reality. The idea that those with control in society are the most detached from the other people in it in all the worst ways. It creates a scenario where the cure is worse then the disease because it leaves you willfully blind. The beast is inside you and will find a way out. You just have to find a careful, but effective option to feed it. At least one that ends with zero people dead.

Warning: scene of sexual harassments and potential rape about halfway through.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

realized this “oh you think this scary stuff is fun you freak” leitmotif lmao

[itscupidsaki]

Astrology Observations 11 - Serenity theme

Disclaimer: I am not a professional astrologer. I am doing these for fun. This post is based off my own observations and experiences that I’ve had with the signs. They are just my opinions and shouldn’t be taken as a fact.

🌙 Moon conjunct ascendant or aspecting the ASC, like to have their opinions, views and feelings heard as well as appreciated.

🦋 Venus in the 1st, 2nd or touching the ASC might put a lot of effort into their appearance or the way that they are perceived. Venus in the 10th or aspecting the MC would instead put that effort into their public image and persona.

💍 Any elements combined with earth in their big three, automaticity make people more grounded and calming.

☕️ Gemini anything, especially Mercury, will talk for days. These people have no off switch. They blurt out the most bizarre things out of nowhere. Gemini placements are also talented writers.

🫐 Sagittarius and Gemini mercuries like saying what they think all the time, though sometimes might not think of the effects their words can have on others.

🧊 Jupiter in the 1st or Sagittarius risings come off as very optimistic to others, even if they themselves think they’re pessimistic. Sag and Jupiter dominates in general can be motivational.

🐳 Aries placements can be the first people in their families to take a leap of faith or a new path. Mars in the 1st tend to be similar or can be strong activists.

🌍 Aquarius placements are the trendsetters. They did it first and they still do. Aquarius and Uranus dominates can be advocates for others a lot.

🫖 Aquarius placements can also have a adoration towards fantasy genre films. E.g, Harry Potter, Lord of the rings.

🍦I’ve noticed air signs like anime a lot or have obsessions with fictional characters.

🧚🏿‍♂️ North node conjunct Saturn individuals may curse a lot. They have the mouth of a sailor. Pluto – Mercury may have this too, though also have a lot of intrusive thought or say very inappropriate things.

❄️ Capricorns are very straightforward. They like to get to the point, rather than have meaningless conversations. The children especially have no filter, they’ll tell you that you’re ugly to your face. My adult sister literally told my mom the treats she got for her birthday were bad…

💫 Capricorn and Virgo moms are very strict and tell you off for the littlest things. Their love language is acts of service.

🌙 Virgo Mars get irritated so easily. They will literally slaughter you with their words, if you continue to annoy them after they told you to stop.

🦋 Sun square moon might find it difficult or uncomfortable to express their emotions or connect that side of them with their ego.

💍 Saturn in the 10th or conjunct MC give off boss energy. They usually get put into the leader position without even asking for it.

☕️ Pisces placments seem so unfazed by everything.

🫐 Sun conjunct Venus makes someone very charming and can come across as a people’s person.

🧊 Mars conjunct Venus people can easily express both their feminine and masculine sides, whereas Mars opposite Venus might have struggled identifying both sides harmoniously.

🐳 I’ve noticed Venus retrograde people might have difficulties with love and their love life. Either that or they just aren’t making it as much of a priority in their life.

🌎 Aquarius women are the sweetest people ever. Very intelligent and unique.

🫖 Pisces and cancer women come across as shy, but they’re incredibly hard working. Water sign women could often be mistaken as earth signs.

🍦Pisces placements, Neptune – ASC , Neptune – MC and Neptune Dom are seen as very dreamy and ethereal. People can sometimes hold them highly or portray them in this fantasy that they themselves might not identify with.

🧚🏼‍♂️ I heard somewhere that ‘Taurus placements are just Scorpio placements with a garden, or in light mode’. I agree with this. They’re very similar and I often meet Tauruses that are interested in dark stuff and the occult. Taurus and Scorpio friendships and chart combinations work very well together, as they’re opposite signs and balance each other out.

💫 Leo placements are very giving. Their love language and way of showing affection might be through gifts.

🦋 All images were taken from Pinterest 🦋

˚*＊✿❀༓❀✿＊*˚ ˚*＊✿❀༓❀✿＊*˚ ˚*＊✿❀༓❀✿＊*˚

I wish the best blessings on you all, free of all negative thoughts and feelings. Become at peace with yourselves, accept it and let it be a part of you. Believe it and and let it protect you. Let’s all be beautiful, tranquil individuals. You aren’t just living in peace, you are at peace.

*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*

Lots of love & luck

ItsCupidSaki 🏹

[pencilofawesomeness]

Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love. 

Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about. 

Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.

There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.

Fairy Dance of Death

by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath​ )

Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing

「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」

If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once. 

It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay. 

Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from. 

Poisoned Dreams

by StrangeDiamond

Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come

「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」

In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling. 

One Word to Change the World

by AgentMalkere 

Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back

「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.

In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」

It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.

Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis

by aradian_nights 

Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete

「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」

This wrecked me.

I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.

I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.

Life in Glass Houses

by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe​ )

Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)

「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」

I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.

Yesterday Upon the Stair

by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom​ )

Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete

「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.

But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.

Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」

As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view. 

I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.

the Vantage Point Universe

by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop​ )

Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)

「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」

// description taken from first installment

Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you. 

I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further. 

Ghosts of the Future

by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio​ )

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing

「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」

// description taken from first installment

Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.

The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.

Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported. 

Whirlwind

by Lynse ( @ladylynse​ )

Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete

「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」

I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.

All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!

[koreanmadeingreece]

Why, why, why (6)

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). ALSO I’M SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST ON WEDNESDAY.

Warnings: n/a (just a liiiittle bit of making out but seriously nothing)

Word count: 1.8K 

Part 6/11 (I think) First / Previous / Next

Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash @aiforyuu @fineapplehoe (let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

You had not even come close to the realization of the chaos that would be the night of the movie. You were engulfed in the picture of Jonghyun sitting next to you that you completely ignored the fact that all your friends would be there as well. Chan had taken the liberty to sit next to you at the opposite side of Jonghyun, and then you also had BamBam and Yugyeom close by. You knew they were going to roast your every move, but that was the easy part.

The part you did not realize you’d end up dreading the most was that Taeyong and his friends would sit at the row right behind you. You definitely didn’t want Taeyong judging your every move with Jonghyun later, and you most definitely didn’t need Yuta to see it too. You thought Jonghyun inviting you would just be another calm and relaxing date of yours, but reality said otherwise.

For your own good, you decided to ignore all those facts and simply went back to enjoying the time you had with your date. You knew he was both attractive and kind, but you hadn’t realized the effect it would have on you to sit this close to him. Even on the uncomfortable university seats, you found your way to sit close to each other, loosely holding hands and getting a kind of intimacy that many would be jealous of. Running little circles with your finger on his hand and him smiling every single time was something you couldn’t have imagined even in your wildest dreams. Sure, you have had relationships in the past, but this one felt like something better; something real.

When the movie started, you noticed how he tried to make small comments about it, considering the fact that he was a film major, but also tried to hold back and not analyze all the details to you, since it was supposed to be a date and not a class presentation. As you had barely started studying yourself, you had no insight to offer, but you were able to understand what he was saying and make your own amateur comments as well. He seemed to enjoy your discussion, even though it wasn’t much of a discussion, since you were watching a movie in a room full of other people, but it was clearly a moment you’d cherish for the rest of your life. Jonghyun was dreamy, and he was starting to become yours.

He took the liberty to lean on your shoulder, which you thought was adorable, and did not try to make moves that seemed too bold for the small amount of time that you were seeing each other. Without bothering the other students with your cheesiness because you had in mind that you really hated being the cringey couple that kissed in the middle of a crowd that was peacefully watching a movie, you stole two kisses from Jonghyun. You could see how a discrete smiled every time after that, and you couldn’t help but want more. You had in mind to ask him to stay with you some more after the movie ended, and that was exactly what you did.

The movie was over; and it was really good. The lights were on and you turned to your left to see Chan grinning at you, obviously having roasted you with the others during the entire movie. He whispered “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, now go and have fun with the man,” to you, which you gladly accepted knowing how many comments you’d have to face the next morning, of course all of them with a good will.

Taeyong had a similar face, although you knew he’d stay up and wait for you, as he’d be unable to last until the next day to gossip. You obviously ignored all those hilarious faces, but when your gaze met Yuta’s, you knew there was something off. You brushed it off and said goodbye to everyone, leaving with Jonghyun.

As you walked around the city, you talked a lot. Jonghyun was the type of guy who made you feel beautiful and appreciated no matter what. Next to him, you felt almost like a princess.

“So, are you seriously telling me that you don’t like lemons?” he asked.

“Yup.”

“Not at all?”

“Yup.” You chuckled.

“Uh, why do I even like you so much?” he said, leaving you speechless.

“Jonghyun,” you paused, but didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah, I said I like you. Is it so bad?” he asked.

“No, I mean, I just can’t believe it’s happening, is all.”

He stopped walking and turned towards you. His gaze felt so intense during that moment, that you literally felt him piercing right through your eyes and seeing directly into your mind. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not worthy, Y/N. Regardless of the fact that we just started dating, and I know it’s very soon, I can tell you’re an amazing person that has so much to offer, but also deserves much too.” As he stopped talking, you felt like an invisible force pulled you closer and closer to him, leaning in for a kiss. You felt his sincerity and kind words to be of heart, and it moved you. You knew you had found something good, and you intended to keep it.

That same force was now pulling you to a quieter place of the city, as you knew you wanted more than just a kiss. You found yourselves sitting on a bench where you couldn’t be seen, giving one kiss after the other. You felt his hands roaming on your waist and belly, and you couldn’t resist. His toned arms were just the beginning; his slim figure and well-shaped back was what you wanted, at least for now. His hands were on your thighs, sliding under your dress, but didn’t go very far, as it was only your second date. Even when you clearly wanted him so bad, he was a gentleman and didn’t move further.

After your intense kissing session was over, he walked you to your house. Thankfully, you didn’t see anyone on the balcony, so he leaned in to kiss you goodnight. He waited for you until you unlocked the door and got inside the building and left, leaving you with what was expecting you behind your apartment door; Taeyong, sitting on the couch with no other than Yuta.

“Hey, guys. What are you up to?” you asked.

“Well, hello there,” Taeyong said with a smirk, “what are you up to?”

“Oh, come on, I’m barely here for 30 seconds, give me a break!” you exhaled.

“Fine. I’ll interrogate you later. Uh, V and Johnny had to stay and help with cleaning at uni, so while we’re waiting for them to come, we’re just hanging out,” Taeyong said, and you still hadn’t heard a word from Yuta.

“Yuta, hello!” you said, trying to be nice.

“Hi, Y/N. Did you have fun with your date?” he asked, but you were certain his voice had some mean undertones.

“Yeah, I did, thanks for asking. I also liked the movie very much. Thank you for letting me know in the first place.”

“Yuta helped picking it out,” Taeyong said, “you can let him know if there’s ever anything you’d like to see.”

“Oh, sure! I mean, I’m a huge fan of crime movies, but I also love French comedies. It’s the only genre that makes me laugh.”

Yuta nodded, but didn’t seem up for a talk. In fact, he rarely seemed up for talking to you. “Ok, what have I done this time?” you snapped. You didn’t know how you let it slip your mouth, because you said you’d be nice and civil with Taeyong’s friends until they got used to you. But, sometimes, being civilized had a certain limit, and that was it.

“What?” Yuta asked you, wide-eyed.

“You’re barely talking to me again. I thought we were making progress when you told me about the movie!” you exclaimed, and Taeyong was just sitting silently, avoiding getting caught in the crossfire.

“We were, until you brought your date!” he yelled.

“Why do you care if I bring my date?”

“Because I- Ah, fuck this.” Yuta never finished his sentence and went outside on the balcony. You took a moment to calm down, when Taeyong finally decided to get involved.

“What did I just witness now?” he asked.

“I don’t have a clue,” you answered, unable to figure out what was going on between you two. “Taeyong, what should I do? I don’t want him to hate me. I like him a lot and I feel like he’s a great friend to you. I want us to be in good terms.”

“I know. Maybe you should try and talk to him. I could let you guys talk and bond some more if you want to.”

“I have an idea.” You went to the kitchen and got one of the cupcakes you’d made a few days ago. “Don’t come outside for a while.”

You opened the window and went to the balcony. You saw Yuta leaning on the railing, staring at the city lights. “Mind if I join you?” you paused. “I brought a peace offering!” you said and gave him the muffin. He stared at you for a second. He was flustered, and you could tell.

“Thanks. Is it one of those you were making the other day?”

“Yeah. I hope it tastes good. I’m not exactly known for my baking skills.” You laughed. He didn’t seem to mind and took a bite.

“Y/N, it’s really good!” he said, mouth stuffed. He took a second bite without thinking about it, which you took as a sign to start being proud of your skills.

“Thanks!” you exclaimed. “So, now that my bribe calmed you down a bit, can you tell me what’s wrong? I mean, I know you barely even know me and stuff, but I feel like there’s something between us.”

He swallowed the last bite of your muffin and tried to speak. It was obvious he was thinking about the answer, not quite sure what to say.

“I won’t mind whatever it is,” you reassured him.

“Uh, I don’t know if it’s something you should be concerned about. I’m sorry about my behavior. I know that I’ve been rough on you and I definitely didn’t mean it.”

“Apology accepted. But, if you tell me what it is, I can try and fix it, or, I don’t know, not do it anymore?” You weren’t exactly sure what to say at that point.

“I don’t think it’s something you can fix, Y/N.”

“Is it something that bad?”

“It’s more of a personal thing, you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll manage it myself.” He went quiet for a second. “Well, if you want to, we can go out sometime. Maybe get to know each other some more,” he suggested.

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

[shifty-looking-sheep]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Conrad Verner Additional Tags: Mass Effect 1, Fluff, Embarrassment, Teasing, acknowledging feelings, blurting out feelings

Summary:

Kaidan tries to deal with the most embarrassing moment of his adult life, and Ashley tries to make it difficult.

“The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they’re careful with newcomers.”

Shepard looked out over the ward arm, awe and fascination shining from her face as the lights of the buildings, skycars, and stars reflected in her eyes. Kaidan quickly looked away as he caught himself staring.

“They probably just want to keep everything running,” Kaidan reasoned. “It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together.”

Ash quietly snorted. “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.”

Kaidan got ready to jump in with something diplomatic, but Shepard got there first.

“Why not? We’ve got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love…” Shepard said, smiling, as she looked back across the ward arms. Kaidan turned to look at her face in profile, etching the silhouette into his brain. “According to the old vids, we’ve got everything they want.”

From someone else, he might have thought it a sarcastic comment; frustrated, almost. But her tone seemed sincere, and her introspective smile made him think she was genuinely hopeful. That was… unexpected.

“When you put it that way,” he said, playfully, “there’s no reason they wouldn’t like you… I mean, us! Humans! … Ma’am…”

Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! What had just tumbled out of his mouth? The bottom dropped out of his stomach as he looked over at Shepard, but his view was blocked by Ash, whose look of surprise quickly turned to mischievous glee. He speedily looked away in excruciating embarrassment.

“You don’t take much shore leave do you, LT?”

The mirth in Ashley's voice prompted him to screw his eyes shut, thoroughly humiliated and wishing he was literally anywhere else. It was that very specific feeling of self-loathing when the wrongness of something you’ve just said is wedged in your gut. What a complete and utter idiot! Had he honestly just implied, to his CO’s face, that he thought she was beautiful? He felt like a college freshman accidentally letting slip that he had a crush on his professor. To his professor. First, he activates some ancient beacon on Eden Prime, and she has to throw him out of the way, and now he admits he thinks she’s beautiful. He’ll be lucky if he’s not transferred off the Normandy by the end of the Citadel’s day cycle. Or worse, the butt of every joke made in the Normandy mess for the remainder of the mission. He can hear them now: Seems Alenko likes powerful women – surprised he hasn’t made a move on the Dalatrass; Is it just Shepard he’s interested in, or does he chase after anyone with a Star of Terra? What’s Alenko’s favourite sexual position? – CO.

“Alright, laugh it up, Chief,” Shepard said, ever so slightly admonishingly. She turned to Kaidan and he tried to read her expression and failed. Entirely neutral commander-face, but not without empathy.

“I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we’re on duty here.”

“Aaa…” he paused. She appreciates the thought?! What did that mean?! She appreciates a compliment, or she appreciates a compliment from him? No, for god’s sake he needed to pull himself together and move on from this hiccup. He’d just mortified himself with a Freudian slip; this wasn’t the time to start reading into every word Shepard said. He needed a total reset. She wasn’t a romantic prospect; she was his boss. Mind on the mission, Lieutenant.

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” he managed to croak out, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks.

He heard Ash fighting back a laugh. “I’ll walk drag, ma’am.”

He opened his eyes to glare at her, but she just waggled her eyebrows in response. Thankfully Shepard didn’t see it, and didn’t respond to Ash’s jibe. He didn’t know if he’d expected her to. In their only real conversation so far, Shepard had been friendly and sincere, if a little… detached? Self-conscious of her new rank, perhaps? This had been her first time as an XO, and then promoted to CO almost immediately, so perhaps she wasn’t sure how familiar to be with her officers? Anderson hadn’t exactly been a stickler for protocol and rank, but he’d probably have chewed the Chief out for a comment like that. Perhaps Shepard found Kaidan's slip-up funny as well, but he suspected she just had a higher tolerance for a little off-topic chat than most commanding officers.

The Commander had already turned and was making her way across the walkway to the market area. She was striding purposefully, but not overly quickly. Her earlier comments about the Citadel seemed to imply that this was her first visit, and despite there being a job for them to do, she was still a tourist. He caught her turn to look at a group who were chatting near the entrance to a club: two elcor, two asari and a volus. It wasn’t a stare; just a curious glance. Interested in alien culture then? Or simply not been around so many different races before?

He was pulled out of his musings by the sound of giggling over his left shoulder, and he turned to see Ash’s grinning face shaking back and forth.

Kaidan’s face flushed an even deeper scarlet. He’d been staring again, and now that Ash was on to him, he needed to get it together.

No! Not ‘on to him’. There was nothing to be ‘on to’. He didn’t have a crush on Shepard. He was 32; he didn’t have inappropriate crushes like a 20-year-old. He was just dispassionately interested in an interesting person. It made sense to learn as much as you could about your CO, right? It would help him work with her on the battlefield; be able to anticipate her movements. And knowing something about her background and values would allow him to anticipate what she’d likely prioritise, what advice she’d appreciate, how he could best support her…

So far, she’d been a little difficult to read. Anderson had been an open book; his service history told the story of a driven soldier and born leader. Beloved by those under his command, and promoted steadily through hard work and frequent commendations. He kept an appropriate, professional distance from the rest of the crew; didn’t give personal details but radiated a warmth and genuine friendliness that made you feel like you knew him. He made his expectations of the crew very clear and was a straight-shooter. Clearly not a political man. A soldier’s soldier.

But Shepard… he couldn’t tell yet. She’d been round the ship talking to everyone already; learnt names; checked on everyone after Eden Prime. So, caring then. But she also hadn’t really said anything about herself, and her demeanour was entirely unreadable. Not stony; certainly not icy, but not exactly open either.

He’d looked up her service history when he’d joined the Normandy, since he wanted to know who he was working for. Unlike Anderson’s, hers was a little harder to decipher. She’d joined the Alliance early, excelled in combat training, had a number of commendations from various high-profile missions: she'd kept her CO alive during a raid on a red-sand smuggling base out in the Terminus; single-handedly held off the smugglers until the extraction team could make it to them. It’s the sort of stuff the Alliance made a big song and dance about; they obviously had after her heroics on Elysium. But this earlier heroic moment seemed to have slipped under the radar. Maybe Shepard hadn’t wanted to be made the centre of a media circus? It would have taken a strong will to have denied the Alliance’s media department a new poster girl. The thought made him smirk.

“Seriously, LT?” Ash whispered. “You made it about five minutes there before you got that goofy heart-eyes look again. I feel bad teasing you about it; it’s too easy to be fun.”

He gave her a look he hoped was serious and annoyed enough to put an end to it. He was technically her superior officer, after all. She didn’t seem deterred though, meeting his look head on with a satisfied smirk.

Had he really gone back to thinking about Shepard so quickly? Maybe Ashley had a point. Shit. This was bad.

While he’d been in his head trying to rationalise his now undeniable fascination with his CO, Kaidan hadn’t noticed that they’d made a detour past the group of aliens and up towards the club: ‘Flux’, the sign read. The sound of bass and chat reached them from down the corridor, but not too loud. It seemed that this early in the day it was mostly gamblers and drinkers rather than the partying crowd.

They made it through the doorway into a fairly small bar area. Shepard started looking around, then stopped as her eyes lighted on the bartender who was waving her over. Kaidan and Ash held back by the doors; there was little fear of a fight breaking out somewhere as public as this, and stomping around a bar in full combat armour toting several different guns apiece didn’t tend to make the punters comfortable. A few had already given them some looks ranging from mildly curious to extremely worried.

“So, this is an interesting development.”

Ash was looking at him and smiling, but not unkindly. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, fidgeting with them at his sides before deciding to cross them again. This topic didn’t need to make him feel nervous; he just needed to convince the Chief that it had been a simple slip-of-the-tongue, and they could move on and away from his humiliation.

Ash leaned in conspiratorially. “For what it’s worth, I think you two would be cute together. And your kids would be gorgeous!”

He groaned, and put his hand to his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on.

“It’s not… I don’t... I mean...”

Ashley raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. “Hmmm, sure.”

Kaidan sighed. “Buy you a drink if you promise not to tell anyone on the Normandy about my foot-in-mouth disease.”

“Oooo, I don’t know about that, LT. I might need to be a pretty fancy cocktail to buy my silence.”

“Worth it.”

It would have to wait for another time though, as Shepard was making her way back to them at the doors. They followed along behind her as they made their way back down the corridor.

“We need to drop by a club called Chora's Den after we’re done with Chorban,” she sighed. “The bartender’s sister is a C-Sec informant, and it looks like she might be in trouble. It’ll give us a chance to drop in on this ‘Fist’ character as well.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Ash and Kaidan replied in unison.

They approached the far end of the walkway and started making their way across the upper market. If their informant was correct, Chorban should be in the lower market. They had no idea what to expect, but he could well be armed and dangerous. Kaidan didn’t like meeting in such a public and crowded place, but he trusted Shepard’s judgement that she could fix this with diplomacy. As they peeled their way through the crowd, Kaidan clocked someone at the top of the stairs looking in their direction. Human, male, possibly in his late 40s, and eyes fixed on Shepard. Kaidan put his hand on his sidearm.

“Wow! It’s you!”

The man waved and took a step forward, partially blocking their way down the stairs. Shepard’s shoulders tensed, but she walked over to the man without taking a defensive posture. Kaidan’s hand remained on his pistol.

“You’re Commander Shepard!” the man said, in a voice dripping in sycophantic joy. “The hero of Eden Prime! I am so honoured to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you.” Shepard shook the man’s hand firmly, a slightly forced smile on her face but a friendly tone to her voice. Kaidan guessed this wasn’t the first time this had happened, considering how high-profile she was. “And you are…?”

“My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!”

The man didn’t seem like a threat, and Kaidan relaxed a little, but he didn’t like the desperation in his voice, or the dark feeling of dislike he immediately felt for this man.

Shepard shrugged. “I spent most of the time trying to stay alive and help the colonists.”

Conrad nodded, but in that way that makes it seem like you didn’t hear anything the person just said. Kaidan glanced at the time on his omnitool. This wasn’t really a distraction they needed just before they walked into what could be a firefight.

“Hey, I know you’re pretty busy,” Conrad said, “but do you have time for a quick autograph?”

Shepard seemed a little embarrassed, as a slight blush coloured the side of her cheek. Her skin was already a warm coffee-colour, but with the blush she looked… stunning.

Ash leaned in close enough to whisper without the Commander overhearing. “How does it feel to see the competition. For my money, I think you probably have the edge.”

Kaidan turned his shocked intake of breath into a cough, and looked daggers at Ashley. Again. But then, she’d also got him pegged: he had felt the tiniest spark of jealousy. What was happening to him?!

Shepard had just finished signing the datapad that Conrad had pressed into her hands, and handed it back with a smile.

“Anything for a fan. Here.”

“Thanks,” Conrad said, his eyes out on stalks as he stared at the datapad. “I really appreciate it. My… wife is going to be so impressed.”

Ash rolled her eyes.

“I’ll let you get back to work, but next time you’re on Earth, I’d love to buy you a drink. Thanks again!”

Kaidan followed the Commander towards the stairs down to the lower markets, as Conrad walked in the other direction. Ash was typing something on her omnitool, and Kaidan got the ping of a message a moment later.

 Figure you’re going to be that guy in 20 years?

Kaidan swung from feeling angry to simply contrite. Kicking up a fuss about a joke was never a good look, particularly if you wanted the joke to go away. And it needed to go away, because if it had been so immediately obvious to Ashley every time he’d unconsciously stared at the Commander, the others were going to see it to; especially if they were primed to look for it. This couldn’t go further than Ash.

 He doesn’t have my bone structure.

The Chief barked a little laugh, and Shepard gave her a curious glance, but they continued walking in silence.

As they rounded the corner and entered the lower markets, they could see Chorban up ahead, flanked by some heavily-armed salarian bodyguards. Shepard walked up to him with that same purposeful march, seemingly unperturbed by the heavies. Ash had unholstered her rifle, and was holding it across her body, and Kaidan created a weak biotic barrier around himself, just to let the goons know what they were up against if they decided to attack. They both looked considerably more nervous after taking in Kaidan and Ashley’s preparations.

Shepard was listening to Chorban and asking pointed questions, trying to calmly get to the bottom of what sounded like a ridiculous miscommunication got completely out of hand. She was so direct, authoritative, but not pushy or intimidating. Chorban spilled his guts.

Before Kaidan could really process what was being said, Shepard was already moving away and towards the elevator back up to the Presidium, but as she walked past Kaidan she caught him dropping his biotic barrier and did a little double-take. Odd; she’d seen him use his biotics several times on Eden Prime, but perhaps not that close. He knew his usually hazel eyes turned blue when he used his biotics, so maybe that’s what she’d seen. Her eyes had met his and flown wide before she'd quickly looked away.

As they entered the elevator, she turned around as he walked in, and again she met his eyes and then snapped away. Was that… embarrassment? She was blushing, and it had been several minutes since the autograph incident, so it didn’t seem likely that it was still from that. What was she thinking about?

As the elevator doors closed, Kaidan’s mind was whirring away at light speed. He recalled how she’d got slightly flustered when speaking to him in the med-bay after Eden Prime. After he’d said he carried her back to the ship. No, he shouldn’t read too much into it. Indulging in some puppy-love fantasy about his CO couldn’t lead anywhere good. He got another ping on his omnitool.

 Hmmm. Seems you’re not the only one nursing a crush, LT.

As he looked at Ashley, she shrugged and nodded towards Shepard’s back, as she was awkwardly crossing and uncrossing her arms. A reflex he knew well.

It threw a tiny piece of kindling onto the flame he’d spent the last half an hour or so trying to starve of oxygen. He was going to need to buy Ash an insane number of cocktails to get her to keep all this quiet… but the idea that there was something to keep quiet, something real, made his stomach do a backflip.

“Disgusting,” Ash whispered, but this time he didn’t object, he just smiled a little bit wider.

Yup, a shitload of cocktails.

Notes:  

I haven't been writing very long, and I REALLY want to improve; if you do have any constructive criticism, it would absolutely be welcomed and I would be really grateful 😁

[mst3kproject]

The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues

I found this movie online while looking for From Hell It Came (which I haven’t yet found – someday I will and then you’ll all be sorry) and it looked bad, so I checked out the details.  Turns out it stars Kent Taylor from The Crawling Hand, Cathy Downs from The Amazing Colossal Man, and was written by Lou Rusoff, who was behind It Conquered the World, The She-Creature, and… oh god, he also wrote Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow.  This is gonna suck goat nads.  I must watch it right away.

You shouldn’t picture me groaning when I write stuff like that, by the way.  You should picture me giggling like a maniac and rubbing my hands together with glee.

A monster is killing people at sea near an incredibly bleak and depressing California college town, and the bodies and wrecked boats it leaves in its wake are scorched by radioactivity! Washington sends Agent Grant to find out what’s going on, and he soon discovers that the Pacific College of Oceanography is positively overflowing with suspicious characters.  There’s the reclusive and paranoid Professor King, who is working on weird experiments in his locked laboratory.  There’s King’s assistant George, who follows him around and hides in the bushes to watch what he’s doing.  King’s secretary Ethel blames the professor for the death of her son and wants revenge, and George’s girlfriend Wanda is a foreign agent.  Not to mention the visiting Dr. Stevens, a radiation expert with an unsettling habit of turning up just in time to discover the bodies.  Someone among this motley crew has created a sea monster… and someone else is planning to sell it to the highest bidder!

You know how some movies save their monsters until the last minute, in order to build suspense?  Or because what we imagine is always scarier than what we actually see?  Or because the monster sucks and they’re ashamed of it?  Or some combination of the above?

Phantom from 10 000 Leagues is not one of those movies.  Before we’re even a full minute into it, the monster has appeared on screen in all its ridiculous glory.  Stevens calls it a hideous beast that defies description but I think I can make an attempt.  It looks sort of like the lovechild of a saber-toothed tiger and the Horror of Party Beach.  There’s a ridge down its head and back like an iguana and a poorly-camouflaged window in its neck so the dude inside can see what he’s doing.  The whole costume is also rather buoyant, and the actor is having to work hard to stay underwater.  Sadly, this beast remains lurking in the depths and never shambles out onto the beach to menace sunbathers, which is the only thing it would have needed to make it a perfect bad movie monster.

The creature is not the only nuclear threat in this movie… or even the silliest one!  During an investigatory dive, Stevens discovers a glowing patch on the seafloor which he says represents an ‘activated’ uranium deposit with the potential to form a naturally-occurring death ray!  We finally get to see this in action when stock footage of a ship passes over it – and turns into a different ship that immediately blows up! I’m just sad this only happens once. The glowing stone itself is represented by a mirror with a light shining on it in underwater shots, and by the reflection of the sun when seen from the surface.

So the effects are not special and make an already silly threat even more hilarious.  What about the story?  Like all cheap monster movies, the focus of The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues is not the creature killing people but the investigation into it.  There’s a large number of potential monster-makers here, which could have made the movie a bit messy – but by the time the words The End appear, we know who all these people are, how they’re involved, and what they hope to accomplish.  Even the women are given distinct motivations and personalities, although those fall neatly into the ‘maiden, mother and whore’ tropes I’ve discussed in the past. The dialogue is not exactly subtle, but it seems like I can’t wholly blame Lou Rousoff for Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow.

It’s also nice that, despite the preponderance of White Men In Suits (Stevens and Grant both walk along the beach in suits and ties at all hours of the day and night), the characters all look different enough that I can tell them apart!  None of the cast are great actors, with a lot of stilted or awkward line deliveries, but then, a lot of the things they’re saying are completely ridiculous, so I probably can’t lay that entirely at their feet.

Unfortunately, the plot of Phantom From 10 000 Leagues is rather unfocused, and like so many of these films it’s not sure who its main character is.  It seems like either Agent Grant or Dr. Stevens, who are each conducting some kind of investigation into the goings-on, ought to be the protagonist… but both are introduced in contexts that make them seem potentially suspicious.  Dr. Stevens is actually significantly more suspicious than Grant, because when he first turns up he gives a fake name, and later proves to have actually performed experiments with mutating sea life in the past.  Yet for much of the movie, it’s Stevens we’re watching, as he cozies up to Professor King and flirts with King’s daughter Lois.  He actually gets far more screen time than Grant, with the latter sometimes being out of the movie for long enough that the audience kind of forgets he’s there.

Stevens and Lois’ love story is, as is probably inevitable for a movie of this kind, completely bland.  Kent Taylor and Cathy Downs have no appreciable spark between them, and one gets the uncomfortable impression that he’s about twice her age. The movie never offers even an approximate age for either character, but Lois is still unmarried and living with her father, which in the 1950s suggests she’s in her early twenties.  King describes Stevens as a ‘young man’ but between his appearance and his impressive academic credentials he’s obviously not, and when I looked up the actors I learned that Taylor was forty-eight when The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues was made, while Downs was twenty-nine.  That’s… well, they’re both adults, but he’s still old enough to be her father, and the younger we assume they both are, the worse the two decade gap gets.

Once we actually get to know the characters, the solution to the mysteries is fairly obvious, but this lets us spend some actual time with these men and find out what they think about the situation.  Stevens, who’s been down this road before, wants these terrible experiments to stop before any more people get hurt.  King, hearing about it for the first time, is more excited about what he might be able to learn by building on Stevens’ work. This represents an interesting inversion because if you’ll recall, King is supposed to be significantly older than Stevens (though actor Michael Whelan was actually born only five years before Taylor).

Usually knowledge and wisdom are both associated with age.  This is a very old trope and has some fairly sound logic behind it: the elderly have had longer to learn and to experience.  In Phantom from 10 000 Leagues, however, we have the older Professor King excited by the ground-breaking discoveries made by a younger scientist and wanting to learn more about them, even when the (supposedly) younger Stevens warns him about Tampering in God’s Domain.  Each assumes the role their ages might make us expect of the other.

This is reflected in their respective fields: depending on how you define it, oceanography is as old as mankind.  Humanity has been mapping the seas for as long as we’ve known how to sail across them, and marveling at the monsters we pull from its depths for as long as we’ve been catching fish.  That is the Professor King’s domain. Stevens, on the other hand, is a specifically nuclear scientist. Nuclear physics technically begins with the discovery of radioactivity in the 1890’s, but it seemed like a new and scary field in the 1950s, as the development of atomic weapons forced scientists to take a closer look at the phenomenon’s effect on living tissues. To King, who is an expert in another field, the possibilities of this relatively new work outweigh the potential consequences.

As sloppy and poorly-made as Phantom from 10 000 Leagues can be, this contrast between Stevens and King does make it a movie with something to say.  It of course has the standard moral for a fifties atomic monster piece, about paths science is not meant to tread, but it also wants us to think about that connection between age and wisdom.  On the one hand, King’s interest in Stevens’ work tells us that you’re never too old to learn something new.  On the other, just because somebody is young doesn’t mean they have nothing to teach. If King had taken in Stevens’ wisdom along with his knowledge, a lot of suffering need not have happened.

Even if you’re not into that, the crappy monster, the bad acting, the ridiculous science, and all the sneaking around and backstabbing that goes on makes Phantom from 10 000 Leagues plenty of fun watch.  It’s much like Beginning of the End in that it ticks all the MST3K boxes, while remaining coherent enough that you can enjoy the actual story along with the badness.

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[desperateground]

since we're doing anti discourse i guess: the antis ive seen on their own blogs (as opposed to other blogs askboxes) seem more concerned with media that portrays pedophilia in a positive light, as that very much can influence people into thinking it isn't THAT bad. If portrayed as the bad thing it is, they dont mind. Personally, do you see a difference in something that goes "heres an adult in love with a child, how sweet" as opposed to "heres an adult in love with a child, isnt that fucked up?"

under a cut cause this got long

I would love to be on the internet where you are, because it sounds a lot more reasonable than the one I live on, where stuff like this just makes me go ???

the thing is that fiction actually does influence people’s perceptions of reality, and we ought to care about that! if a person grows up watching movies where cops break the rules but it’s OK because they’re the good guys; or where stalkerish and manipulative behavior counts as “grand romantic gestures” that obligate a woman to date a man; or where Black people are depicted as uneducated and violent, of course that is going to color their opinions of the world.

and there are a lot of really good conversations being had about issues like that, and we absolutely need to have those conversations about responsible media creation and consumption. this power can be used for good as well as for evil. many people cite shows like Will & Grace as helping turn the tide of public opinion against seeing “homosexuality” as deviant and instead seeing gay people as “normal” and “lovable” and “relatable.” superman was a beloved enough All-American Hero that a storyline where he fights the KKK is credited with helping turn the KKK from a mainstream fraternity into something seen as a fringe hate group.

so i would agree that a giant wave of media with positive depictions of pedophilia would be concerning. 

however, we do not currently live in a world where “here’s an adult in love with a child, how sweet” is a major issue in media narratives such that people are absorbing the attitude that pedophilia is fine, cool, and good.

in fact, pedophilia is such a hated subject that we have a whole political movement in my country based on people calling anyone they dislike a “pedophile” and accusing them of all sorts of depraved shit involving children. most people who have sexual inclinations toward children are fully aware that these desires are at odds with society and that they will become pariahs if these desires were known to others.

(In fact, this level of ostracization can put people at a higher risk of offending, because they feel hopeless, have nowhere to turn for support, and figure if they’re going to be a pariah anyway, they may as well do the one thing they can think of that feels good. Forcing conversations about this to go completely underground means that you end up with awful groups like nambla dominating the conversation and convincing lost, lonely, frightened people to hop on board with their dangerous attitudes. if the only people safe to talk to about this stuff are people who will excuse, justify, encourage, and promote offenses against children, it makes sense that people would end up in their grip. You can read more here and here.)

much of the “media” that these “antis” are up in arms about is fan created content intended for a small population. the people creating content that riles up antis generally recognize that this is not mainstream content and use things like tags and content warnings to set it aside from other content. the notion that certain tropes in fanworks are going to bring about a massive cultural shift is a bizarre slippery-slope argument, and i think people's energy would be better focused on problems that are actually currently existing rather than a potential future where a few tags on ao3 have become dominant themes in network television and blockbuster movies. 

another issue here is that when an “anti” uses the term “pedophilia,” it’s completely unclear what they are actually referring to. a reasonable person would assume that they mean “a sexual relationship between an adult and a child,” but the definitions of “adult,” “child,” and “sexual relationship” have gotten so blurry within this discourse that it’s impossible to determine what’s being discussed. i’ve seen people claim that any relationship is inherently “pedophilic” if the characters have any sort of age gap, if there is any sort of power imbalance, if they both belong to the same “found family,” or even if one looks younger in appearance.

so when someone says “fictional narratives that depict pedophilia in a positive light,” they may actually be referring to “fictional narratives that depict any relationship I don’t like,” which is such a vague and meaningless statement that it becomes completely useless.

finally, your actual question is whether I personally see a difference between stories where the narrative perspective seems to critique the relationship vs stories where the narrative perspective romanticizes the relationship. i think your question is...hard to answer, because there is just too much there.

first off, it’s not always easy to tell whether a story is “vilifying” vs “glamorizing” something. people watch movies like fight club and take away very different thematic messages about whether the protagonist is someone to admire and emulate. if we say that depictions of abuse are only “good” or “allowed” if the narrative clearly portrays the abuse as “fucked up,” then we’re going to have to establish a High Court of AP English Teachers to determine exactly what narrative devices are employed and how, and that’s just...not...workable.

also, some people like the “fucked up”-ness of these stories; if you’re trying to say that something is bad if people “enjoy it” or “get off” on it or “indulge” in the darkness of the content, then it doesn’t matter if the story itself is wagging its finger at the naughty, naughty reader. the taboo, the erotic, and the deviant are, and have always been, wrapped up in each other. you can depict something as “bad” and yet still “fun;” it becomes a useless distinction when talking about sexual content. 

do i personally see a difference, when it comes to my own enjoyment? yeah, absolutely. i stopped watching game of thrones not because it included rape, but because the way the cinematography, musical score, etc. made it clear that the show was expecting me to feel a certain way about those images, and i didn’t appreciate that. i also didn’t appreciate the directorial decision to give more dignity to a dog’s death by cutting to black than to violence against women. i would probably not enjoy a book or movie that’s just about how awesome and fun it is to hurt people; though i did like clockwork orange - i found the narrator abhorrent, but interesting.

but i think trying to split hairs about what does and doesn’t count as Problematic or Allowable Content, or trying to tell people that what they create and/or consume is Bad and they are Bad for doing it, because its inclusion of dark themes is Doing It Wrong - it’s not helpful. it’s impossible to develop a standard for what is “doing it wrong vs doing it right” that makes any sense, and even if you did, enforcing it through campaigns of hatred and social vilification is not going to be effective. 

[angrylizardjacket]

mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 3

3. i thought love was a kind of emptiness

Summary: So you’re in love with him. Not great. And you wanna tell your brother about it, but that means coming clean about everything, and you’re not gonna do that! So you’re just gonna suffer, because it’s for the greater good. And you’re not gonna make things weird. Speaking of weird though, how is this even going to end? Colson sounds kind of like a masochist when he talks about it, but there must be a way to make neither of you seem like the bad guy... When this all ends. Which it will, much to your chagrin.

A/N: watch me have no idea about american geography

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @kellysimagines @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit

----

For the record, and if anyone asks, when Colson sends you a photo of himself in full Tommy Lee makeup, your heart definitely doesn’t skip a beat. The long wig, the sharp contouring, the eyeliner, it does absolutely nothing for you. You definitely don’t spend a good five minutes contemplating how much you want his lipstick to stain your mouth. Because he’s not your real boyfriend. You’re doing this to minimize the amount of nasty messages you get online. The fact that he’s hot and funny and surprisingly kind and weirdly observant, and god, have you already said hot? Because he tends to walk around your shared hotel room in shorts and little else and it’s really not doing great things for your productivity. 

The point is, all those things are a bonus! A happy little accident, if you will, a positive side-effect of this whole arrangement. Like getting a job and realising that you’ll be working with your brother, who currently is quickly becoming very, very close with your fake boyfriend.

There’s no-one you trust more in the whole world than Douglas, but if you tell him that your relationship is fake, you’ll have to tell him why you’re in a fake relationship, and he’s not above starting an online rampage against people sending his little sister death threats. Which, by the way, you’re not getting a lot of since dating Colson, honestly you might even be getting less than before, so it’s working.

Your absolutely fake relationship with Colson Baker, whom you have no feelings for whatsoever is functioning exactly as intended. 

Except for the fact that when you’re on set, and you see him in costume, smiling, it kind of makes your day. Watching him play drums? He just looks like he’s having so much fun, and you can’t help but be endeared by it! This was outlined as low commitment, high reward, and now your feelings are ruining it for everybody. Well, just for you. Because it’s just a small crush, and he’s your friend, so you’re not going to make it weird.

Which, right now, it isn’t. He hogs the blankets, which you pretend you’re annoyed by, and sets about fifteen different alarms for himself that have you waking up at the crack of dawn so that he can go in early to get his tattoos covered, even though you don’t need to be there until much later than he is. So you grumble into the blankets, and when you get to set there’s always a hot drink waiting for you. 

He’s out most nights, not late enough that he’d need to oversleep to be functioning the next morning, but it’s not uncommon for you to be curled up on your side of the bed, usually scrolling through social media, and he’ll come in, sometimes humming something, sometimes chattering away on the phone. Sometimes he’ll shower, but he always smokes, watching the stars, right before he comes to bed.

Or you’ll join him. 

On the weekends, you’ll grab dinner together after filming, and he’s in his eyeliner, the foundation sometimes a little worse for wear, and you’ll explore the nightlife that LA has to offer, seeing live bands, or going to clubs. Of course, as a famous musician, DJs will pull Colson up into their booth, to play a song or two, and you, without fail, always managed to feel out of place. So you hang back, maybe have a dance, or maybe get a drink, or even just people-watch. You enjoy it, but you enjoy going back to the hotel more.

Tabloids, or the modern equivalent at least, get familiar with your name, and it’s not long before your image starts to change.

About six minutes into a twenty minute ‘tea spilling’ video, the host says your name.

“Now, [Y/N] Booth, DuckDuckBooth, whatever you know her as, has been all over the mainstream media lately because - shock horror - she’s in a relationship with someone with a bad reputation! Because that’s what we love here, ladies and gents; rumours and slander,” the host, a young woman with bleach blonde hair and a thick English accent rolls her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her tongue, “so a bit of a run-down for those who don’t know, [Y/N] is a lifestyle and, I don’t know, entertainment industry insider - YouTuber? She makes videos on what it’s like to work all different jobs in the industry. And her brother’s famous? I think?” She looks to a point off-screen, presumably where her laptop was sitting, letting her look him up. “He was in Jupiter Ascending, he was the weird prince-dude; Douglas Booth, and he was in a bunch of stuff that was only really released in the UK.” 

It cuts to a new shot of the host tucking her hair behind her ears.

“So [Y/N] recently started dating Machine- MG- uh, I don’t know how to say it, it sounds wrong coming from me; Machine Gun Kelly? He’s a rapper I think? He’s been in a few shows on like, streaming services? I don’t know, I don’t know him that well, but apparently he’s one for scandal - allegedly.” She emphasises, before taking a deep breath, “and now he and [Y/N] are working on the same project, and have started dating, like two adults who like each other might start doing!” It’s condescending, as if directly responding to some less than polite criticisms she’s seen online, but she shrugs it off flippantly.

“Anyways, I’ve been following [Y/N] for a while, I’ve seen her recent uploads and Instagram stories and such; they’re cute, okay? I don’t personally enjoy his music, but that’s just my tastes, you know? And I don’t understand all the negativity she’s suddenly receiving; you all know she’s an adult, right? Like not just in the UK, she’s over 21, she’s allowed to go out and drink, and be a human being. It’s not like she’s suddenly become a different person; just because she’s not acting in the way your overly-sanitized view of her should, doesn’t mean she’s a different person, or that she’s corrupted or whatever. She’s not a bad person for enjoying herself.”

“Everyone speculating about whether it’s fake or not, like they have nothing in common, well it’s almost like you don’t know them personally; if it’s fake, who even cares, that’s -” she laughs a little, “that’s Hollywood, isn’t it? I think the people hating on her, or on him, or wanting them to admit it’s fake or just break up, are jealous, honestly, because even if it’s fake, it’s a hell of a commitment.”

“Do you ever worry?” You can’t help but ask, it’s late, much later than you know you should be up, but he’s awake too, yawning, looking at his phone. Both of you tucked up in bed, he takes a moment before looking at you. There’s something about the shadow of eyeliner he hadn’t quite been able to remove that just makes him look edgy and gorgeous.

“I try not to,” he answers candidly, “but about what?”

“About people finding out about us.”

“Usually,” he cracks a half smile, “when a girl asks me that, it’s about people finding out that we are together,” and he’s smiling, but you just frown in the dark, unable to appreciate the humour. 

“What’ll they say? Of course you’ll be fine, but I-” you swallow, shaking your head, “sorry, asshole thing to say; of course I care about what they say about you, just as much me, but -”

“But you’ve got a lot further to fall than I do,” he says with a surprising honesty, and you meet his gaze in the glow of his screen light, “honestly I have no idea how this is gonna end, I thought you did.” And you feel your stomach drop. 

How were you supposed to respond to this?! There is absolutely no way you can say what you’re thinking, that you don’t want this to end because you’ve started to catch real feelings. 

“I’m winging it,” you admit softly. Something about his expression softens, but his screen goes dark before you can see it, “I know you’re a good person but-”

“Then you don’t know me that well, Ducky,” he laughs a little, though the sound is hollow, and you can hear him rustling around as he looks up at the ceiling in the dark, “kid, you don’t know me at all -”

“Don’t call me kid,” you bristle, quietly defiant, but he just seems to ignore you.

“I know I’m a bad dude, okay? And if you want this whole thing to end with everyone thinking I’ve broken your heart, then do it, I’ve been through worse. I’ve done worse; if you wanna just worry about yourself, you can.” 

“So it’s black and white; I’m red riding hood and you’re the big bad wolf? That’s how we end this?”

“You think in fairy tale analogies,” he huffs an almost disbelieving laugh, “I’m just saying that if you didn’t have to be with me, you wouldn’t be; you wanted scandalous but not a scandal, I get it, okay? I’m good at that; good at both, actually, but I guess you’re cute enough that you can pick one and not the other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snap, feeling angry, almost betrayed by his callous words. In the dark, you can make out the shape of his silhouette against the stars.

“You’re all clean and shiny and shit, you’ve got a philanthropist big brother, and a life in the entertainment industry without the actual pressure of being an actor, and yeah, YouTube is hard, I get that, now more than anything else, watching you ‘s definitely given me a new appreciation for the effort that goes in, but -”

“But what? It’s not a real job?”

That shuts him up fast. 

Fuming in the dark, you clamber from the bed, and head onto the balcony, slamming the door behind you. The night air is cool and crisp against the warm anger bubbling just beneath your skin, and you take a few deep breaths. Why you’re out here, you’re not sure; you should have gone down the hall and stayed with Douglas, but here you were, cooling off on the balcony. 

You’re in his seat, the seat he always sits in to smoke before bed, and it feels strange, but you’re not going to give up the seat, even as he opens the door. He doesn’t look at you, instead, he leans against the railing, looking out at the ocean glittering with stars.

“I wasn’t -” he starts, before sighing, “fuck, I know it’s a real job, okay?”

But he’s met with silence.

“I was gonna say - fuck, there’s like, a quote thing someone once told me, I think it was Shakespeare or some shit - there’s more things in Heaven and Earth, you know, than are dreamed in your philosophy.” He paused, “I’m dealing with more than just your shit, you know? Every fuckin’ person wants to hate me right now; your shit is small fish, Ducky. If you’re not getting hate, then it’s worth it, okay? And after all of this, I’ll still be averaging the same amount of hate as I always get, not that I give a shit. It’s pebble in a stream stuff.” When again, he’s met with silence, he sighs gently, hanging his head, before heading back inside, though he doesn’t close the door.

On your own, for only a moment, you feel your insides twisting, frustrated at overreacting, heart warming at his words, just a little. 

“Pebble in a stream stuff?” You ask quietly, when he joins you once more, this time with a joint and his lighter.

“Immutable,” he says, voice flat as he focuses on lighting up, before taking a long drag. After a moment of holding the smoke in his lungs, he breathes out, watching it as he speaks, “like a river, if you throw a pebble in, it creates a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do, the river just keeps flowing in the same direction.” 

“Deep,” you muse.

“It’s from X-Men,” he responded, and there’s a beat, before the two of you break out into laughter at the absurdity of it all, of his philosophical ramblings being ripped from a comic book movie, of the idea of the two of you ever getting into this situation in the first place.

When the laughter dies down, you find yourself smiling at him, watching him while his grin is turned up to the stars.

“You say I don’t know you, even though we’ve been doing this for almost a month and a half now; I wanna know you,” you tell him as genuinely as you can manage in your tired state, and he turns to you with an unreadable expression, and you catch yourself before you act on the fluttering in your chest, “to make it more believable.” You add, and he nods, and his gaze goes back to the sky; if it was a little disappointed, you try not to think about it too hard, “so you don’t like cutesy dates like fairs, what do you like?”

Licking his lips as he thinks, he finally turns to you, eyebrow raised.

“Honestly?”

Why does his gaze right now make your pulse race?

“Honestly.” You dare not break his gaze.

“I like going to clubs with you, to see bands and shit,” he tells you, and... oh, you weren’t expecting that. There’s that soft, unreadable expression again, though he seems endeared by your genuine surprise, “but I sometimes get the feeling that you feel, uh, out of place?” He seems concerned.

“I mean, not really, it’s fun and all!” You try, but he gives a smirk.

“You don’t have to sugar coat it -”

“It’s sticky, and it feels weird with all the dudes trying to grind up on me when I’m like, meant to be with you. I always feel like someone’s about to pull out their phone, snap a photo and accuse me of cheating.” You blurt out, and Colson’s expression turned from surprised to amused.

“Stick with me then -”

“I don’t wanna be a bother; I’m not a music person, I shouldn’t be in like, a DJ booth I don’t think.”

“You’re with me, you can go wherever you want.”

The night is cool and crisp, and he’s got an early start, but the two of you sit out there, talking, laughing, actually getting to know each other. He tells you all about Cassie, about how proud he is of her, how much he misses her, and how proud she is of him in turn. You, in turn, tell him stories of yourself and Douglas from your childhood, of how he’d always been your biggest fan, and your first defender, and how you’d been to all of his premieres. At this, Colson’s eyes glaze over a little, lost in thought.

“I have no idea how this is gonna end,” he says gently, before looking to you, “but whenever you wanna call it quits, say the word.”

But you hear I’m read to cut and run at any moment, and you know it’s selfish, but it’s not what you want to hear.

“Thanks,” you respond, with a small smile instead, “same to you; don’t just stick around for my benefit,” you try to laugh, but it doesn’t quite come out right. It’s quiet after that, though it had to be said, and it’s not long before the two of you go to bed.

It’s a turning point, it’s where you start to really try to get to know each other, rather than just being around each other. Maybe it’s just hope, but it feels a little more real with each day that passes.

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve got a very special guest! And if you’ve read the title of this video, you know who it is! That’s right, my boyfriend is going to try and teach me the basics of drumming!”

The comments of the video tell you that you both look so happy, look so cute, look so in love.

“You’re a good actor,” Colson tells you, as if he believes the starry-eyed looks you give him are a carefully calculated ruse. You, on the other hand, feel like a fool only moments from being outed as being in love with your fake boyfriend, which was ridiculous; he’s the only person who needs to believe it’s a ruse after all.

Even Douglas tells you the video is good, and suddenly you’re starting to feel like an asshole for lying to him for so long.

But it’ll work out. It has to. And neither you nor Colson is gonna be the bad guy. Because he’s not, no matter what he says .

He keeps buying you hot drinks if his alarms wake you up, and he keeps you close whenever you go out, and he gives you a blanket whenever you fall asleep in his trailer during breaks, and -

“Has Duck ever told you about how she found a frog when we were little, like a live frog,” Douglas was grinning over lunch, while you were slowly becoming more embarrassed by Colson's side, your forehead pressed to his shoulder as your brother recounted one of his favourite stories, “and she named it after me, because she was always a bit of a menace, but it got free, and mum and dad almost lost their minds when she came crying about how ‘Doug was missing in the woods!’” He grinned, both fond and a bit sharp, “they only realised she was talking about the frog when I joined the search party after getting home from a friend’s house.”

You heave a sigh, but Colson gives you a gentle, reassuring pat.

“No, that’s fuckin’ adorable, but no she hadn’t told me that; but I had heard about how you made the both of you duck costumes for your school’s Halloween,” and Colson gives him a toothy grin as Douglas flushes with embarrassment, though he seems endeared by the nostalgia of it all, “primary school, was it?”

“Not Halloween, it was a book fair,” Douglas corrected, and you surfaced finally, leaning into Colson, who wrapped an arm around you, and you level a soft smile at your brother, who returns one in kind, before his gaze flicks to Colson’s, and back. A smile. A nod. A silent approval. Fuck, you hate lying to him.

But you’re not above a little white lie to the internet for some advice.

r/AmITheAsshole posted by u/idkquackythrowaway

AITA for falling for my fake boyfriend and lying to my best friend about it?

So hello, throw away account because if either of them find this, I’ll be mortified and have to run away to canada and live as a goat farmer.

So I started ““““dating”“““ my “”””boyfriend””””, let’s call him C, a few months ago, because all of our friends kept accusing us of dating, and it was easier to just go along with it than deny it - there’s a lot of extenuating circumstances here; and yes I have issues lying to my friends, but I can deal with it for the greater good. It’s better for C and me in the short-term anyways.

Anyways so my best friend, D, is someone I’ve never lied to, we’ve always been so incredibly close, but now he’s getting to be good friends with C too, and approves of the two of us, but I’m just worried he’ll be betrayed if I tell him it wasn’t real.

Also, I might have real feelings for C, which he Does Not Have for me, so I feel like I’m betraying him too, by pretending that it’s not fake. ANd I wanna tell D about this, but then I’d have to come clean about everything, which....... its a lot. 

So Am I The Asshole for catching feelings in a fake relationship, and lying to my closest friend about it?

[324 comments]

The reaction is mixed.

And mostly unhelpful.

A lot of people are calling you the asshole, which, ouch, but you had kind of already come to terms with that. A lot more people, however, are just abstaining from making judgement, considering there was definitely more to the story. You’re not sure how to deal with those comments; you want to defend yourself, or give more context, but you also know you absolutely cannot. 

Eventually you decide to come clean.

“I’m in love with Colson.”

About the wrong thing. To the wrong person.

Douglas blinks slowly at you, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

“Really?”

“Really really.” You sigh, with an air of defeat, though this has him frowning, putting his fork full of pasta down. 

“What’s wrong, did he do something?” Douglas is playing the protective older brother, just as he has done for as long as you can remember, but it’s all you can do to shake your head.

In truth, Colson’s been fucking perfect; despite his reputation, he’s a fantastic - fake - partner. Perhaps it’s that you work together, so he doesn’t have to find a distraction outside of his main focus. 

“Duckling,” Douglas says it so gentle, taking your hand over the dinner table, “I’m happy for you, as long as you’re happy.” And what can you say to that? Another lie? You feel like you’ll be ill if you let another lie pass your tongue in front of Douglas.

“I love him,” you say, weakly, and you feel your eyes misting at the implication, the reality of your words. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I-” you choke on your words, and tears start to gather, threatening to spill, “I think I love him more than he loves me.” It’s not a lie, but it’s enough for Douglas. 

“I’m sorry,” he sounds so genuine, holding your hand tight in his, finishing dinner, and taking you both back to the hotel. He does the only thing he can think of to cheer you up; put on a movie on his laptop and wrap you up in blankets like he would when you were kids. The movie’s a little outdated, but he’s trying, and that alone makes you feel a little better. 

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve just got a low-effort video, it’s just a top ten comfort movies from childhood that survive a modern rewatch! As decided by me and Douglas!”

Filming is set to move locations soon, from being on-location on the Sunset Strip to a back-lot about an hour away, somehow closer to the hills, and you feel like you can hear the ticking of a clock counting down.

“When filming’s over, we can end it if you want,” you tell Colson as you’re packing up your suitcases.

“Oh,” he seems surprised.

“Oh?”

“That’s soon,” is all the clarification he gives, but he doesn’t sound happy about it, “are you sure?” 

“I mean, I don’t wanna outstay my welcome,” you try to joke, but he makes a noise that you can’t quite decipher, “what?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Just thought it would maybe go until the premiere.” He admits, and you pause, actually surprised at his words, and he clears his throat, “it would be weird seeing you there if I was with someone else, right?”

“Right,” you muse quietly, before going back to folding your clothes, “that’s a year away still, I’m pretty sure.” You tell him, and he hums, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well I’ve got a few events before then I need a date for,” he says, noncommittally, “and we’ll see each other before then; if you wanna be convincing you can crash at my place if you wanna, in The Hills, at least for a bit, if you ain’t got anything else to do sort of thing,” he actually sounds a bit hesitant, and you swallow hard, before letting yourself smile, pleased.

“I think you like having me around.” When you look at him, he’s trying to hide a smile of his own.

“'course I do.”

[marculees]

Epilepsy Awareness Month💜

I recently seen this post by @interstellix  who made great points about epilepsy for Epilepsy Awareness Month. It sums it up really well so I suggest you give it a read and reblog! Its nice to find another photosensitive here too because we’re such a small group within the epilepsy community. I deal with anxiety on top of my epilepsy and while they aren’t always related to each other, I don’t hear enough about the day-to-day worries of epileptics. Things that seem completely normal or fine to some people can be dangerous for me, which is why stuff like giving trigger warnings are much appreciated. But often, non-epileptics don’t know about what its like to actually live with epilepsy - not just having seizures. I want to add on some of my own experiences with a funky clickbait title, below the cut. Anyone who reads this all is a star and ily⭐️

10 Things Non-Epileptics Don’t Get (Yet)

1. That moment in movies when the character wakes up and a bunch of faces are gawking down at the camera uncomfortably. Always have someone to stay with the person having a seizure. But out of care for both that person and the people around, its best to get everyone else away. No one enjoys watching someone have a seizure - it’s scary and knowing you can’t stop it can ignite feelings of guilt or panic. For the person having the seizure, its embarrassing - they aren’t even conscious of what’s happening and for all they can remember, they were minding their own business and now they’re waking up and barely able to move their body without wincing in pain.

*TW: BODY FLUIDS* I’ve literally puked, shit and pissed myself all at the same time unconsciously in front of a room of people. I’m lucky these people were my family but it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing or upsetting knowing that everyone there saw me in such a state. A fear I had growing up was having a seizure in front of my class and the students making comments about it, thinking it was funny. In today’s age, filming seizures is something to worry about too because of how easily it can be shared to others online. Even if you aren’t an arsehole like that, try to be as respectful as possible and get everyone else to evacuate the room. At most, have three people to stay there: one person to stay close and time the seizure, one person to move furniture away and find something soft to lay under the epileptic’s head, and one person for crowd control who is keeping everyone else out and reassuring them all it’s okay.

Whatever you do, don’t make the epileptic feel bad for having a seizure. They can’t control it. Afterwards, comfort them and let them know its all over and you’ll stay with them until they feel better (unless they say they would rather be alone). Most of the time, the epileptic will be so tired and sore after their seizure that they’ll fall asleep. Let them; they need it. I’ve woken up on a couch, in my bed, the back of an ambulance or in a hospital bed and sometimes I was laying there for half an hour, sometimes a whole day. Knowing someone was there is relieving. Knowing everyone was there is shaming and it doesn’t make you feel any better when they’re all in your face afterwards too. Don’t be the camera crew.

2. Travelling alone is either a dream or everyday reality for a lot of people, but its a no-go for some of us. I was raised in a very overprotective household and still today, I don’t have a lot of freedom. Driving is usually one of the first bits of independence you get, but not for me. I’ve had seizures while out travelling because of the SUN. The sunlight flickering through trees, railings or bouncing off surfaces have triggered seizures in me where my family have had to pull over. The thought of being the one driving in such a scenario is terrifying to me, my loved ones and everyone else on the road. Driving is such a normalised thing for people my age that I’m embarrassed to bring up my own case unless someone specifically asks.

Then you have public transport. The sunlight issue is also here but this time, you’re with a bunch of strangers (see Point 1 again). Something my mum drilled into my head since I was younger was that if I ever got public transport by myself, then I could have a seizure and someone would film it and another person would rob me (and then you wonder why I have an anxiety disorder). I got my first bus by myself when I was 19 and for something so mundane to most people, it was like a little adventure to me. My mum didn’t approve but she complained about having to drive me everywhere too. While its fun to get the bus into town every now and then though, it becomes a bigger issue when travelling is a daily requirement and you aren’t able/allowed to drive yourself.

Free public transport doesn’t always include those with epilepsy, depending on which country you live in. What do you do when an employer asks if you can drive? What do you do if you have committments to go to and no one is around to drive or come with you? Or you need to explain why you’re going out, every single time, because someone else has to decide whether its worth the risk. Sunny roadtrips? Want to be a pilot? That last one isn’t a joke, by the way! I used to get a coach/private bus to college and if it was sunny, I’d pull the curtain over, wear my sunglasses and try to nonchalantly cover one eye to help. You can’t really get a curtain while driving your own car though and driving one-handed is not cool, its irresponsible.

3. Staying up all night talking with someone you love isn’t as romantic as we’d like it to be. All-nighters, i.e. lack of sleep, are a huge trigger for many epileptics. I wasn’t allowed to go to sleepovers with friends as a kid until I was 13, and at that sleepover I ended up having a seizure in the middle of the night after waking up to use the bathroom. Not to flex, but I had a seizure on the toilet. Where’s the weirdest place anyone else has had a seizure?. As a result of that, I was put back on medication after being told I was growing out of my seizures and had been med-free for one whole year. I’d love to stay up with a loved one and spend the night talking or watching movies, but I think a seizure would be more of a killjoy than going to bed early.

3. Unless you’re the paparazzi, camera flashes won’t give photosensitive epileptics seizures. Its a small gesture and I do appreciate it, but don’t worry - one small flash from a camera will not send my brain into override. Just don’t be taking photos from 5 different phones at the same time for more than one pic. Standing and waiting for people to take a photo all at the same time is awkward already because you don’t know who to look at, what to do with your hands, if you should change pose, smile or not, etc. Just take one flash photo and be done, or don’t use the flash at all if you don’t need to. Ring lights are a common thing now, by the way and I love them? Bye-bye camera flash!

I don’t blame anyone for having these types of concerns though. The only time you’re probably warned about flashing lights is when you’re about to watch a news report or awards show where there will be paparazzi and performances will be aired. Concerts are another thing that can be risky depending on the genre, size of the venue, whether its indoors or outdoors (if you’re like me and enjoy EDM music, you’ll have a very low chance of actually attending or watching anything live fdkslbjfdhb). Those things we avoid. But you taking a photo with a once-off flash will be okay, don’t worry. Seizures aren’t triggered by a single flash, but rather multiple flashes in a short period of time. They’re called Hertz and that shit hertz when its between 3-30 flashes per second. Also, fuck strobes, the Incredibles 2, Into The Spiderverse and any other movie that uses these for unnecessary effect.

4. Not everyone is diagnosed with epilepsy in their childhood and though some might grow out of it as they get older, not everyone will. I thought I had been growing out of it on two occasions (see point 3 again and point 9). Some people only get diagnosed with epilepsy later into their life. If you’re diagnosed while young, its easier to adjust your life because you’re growing up with it as your norm and its something you’ve just learned to live with. But for some people, they suddenly have to change their entire routine that they’ve established since they became an adult. Be sympathetic to those with epilepsy in their adult years, especially those who only got a diagnosis. Its not just a disability for children.

5. There are different types of seizures and one that’s commonly misunderstood is the partial seizure. These types of seizures have been mistaken for people being drunk or high (i.e. slurred speech, difficulty standing up or walking in a straight line, etc.), which has led them to getting kicked out of venues for something they have no control over. Swimming pools seem to be a common place for these bans, as well as gyms. Sometimes, these people are still somewhat aware they are having a seizure but cannot control them, which is really scary to think about. I don’t have them myself but I cannot imagine how frustrating they must be to not be taken seriously and instead as someone being high or intoxicated and then being punished for that. Alcohol is usually avoided as it can trigger seizures but when these seizures happen at social events, people can get the wrong idea. If you know someone who has these types of seizures, keep an eye on them if you’re out together. We’re usually only allowed one pint and hardly anyone gets that drunk after just one, so be aware that its likely they aren’t actually hammered but having a seizure instead.

6. Nobody likes being overworked but school, college, jobs and sport can very hard on us. Unless you’ve had a seizure, your teacher or boss probably won’t extend a deadline for you. The latter might even fire you. Chronic fatigue isn’t taken seriously. School is one big memory test in most countries, but for those with aura seizures, their ‘spacing out’ can affect how information they are actually taking in. Side-effects of meds can also make concentration and memory tough, and I hate how forgetful I can be because then I feel like I’m unreliable even though I push myself to give 110% anyway. Some activities like sports and physical education can be more draining than they would be for the average person, and sometimes I’d have to sit out during these activities because I felt an aura coming on after overexerting myself. I wish I could sit out having multiple assignments and group projects due in the same week, but college doesn’t work that way. I wish I could tell employers that I might not have that presentation done by the end of the day, but that wouldn’t go down too good either.

If you know someone who takes longer to complete tasks that might seem simple to you, ask yourself if you’ve ever considered they might have epilepsy or another chronic illness or disability. Don’t assume they’re lazy if they need to take an extra day or two to complete their final essay or have to stop their beep test earlier than the rest of the class. I didn’t know a good average for the beep test was 8-9, because no one ever told me. I pushed myself to 16 because I was scared people would think I was lazy and that I was dropping out to be with the other girls who agreed beforehand. I then ended up having an aura that almost slipped into a full seizure. I also almost had a seizure an hour before my religion exam in my Junior Cert at school. My mum even insisted I stay home and miss my State exam because of it. I still went though, took a bathroom break because I had another aura, and finished with an ‘A’ but had it been a different day, I might not have been so lucky. Its about knowing yourself and your limits, but we aren’t always informed that they should exist and then you end up doing stupid things like me that could hurt you. Likewise, its important to be understanding that not everyone can work at the same pace as you. It doesn’t make the quality of our work any less even if we need more time or energy to do it.

7. Side-effects aren’t always in the short-term. My own meds are advised to not be taken long-term as they weaken my bones over time. I’m 21 now and I’ve been on meds since I was 8. I wanted to reduce my dosage and eventually become med-free last year but the neurologist told me I still had brain activity and needed to stick with them. In fact, they almost ended up prescribing me more even after I had told them I was five years seizure-free. Why? See point 9. I’m lucky though because I’ve only been on one type of med. Some people can take years to find what works and their neurologists will prescribe them all sorts and leave them with awful side effects. Only last year I was chatting with a woman whose meds had caused sudden depression and fits of anger in her after she had been diagnosed and given her prescriptions. She eventually got brain surgery instead.

8. If you have a uterus and/or want to have children, do your research and a LOT of it. Birth control is usually a tough decision to make and often times, it can feel like you have no choice. Its so important to check with multiple neurologists and doctors which form of birth control is the best for you with your medication, because even the slightest new introduction to your meds box can have unpleasant side-effects. With the current medication I’m on, I can’t take the pill unless I want to increase my current dosage of meds as the pairing cancel each other and make me more vulnerable to seizures and other side-effects. I’m not pregnant and yet I have to take daily folic acid supplements because my meds cancel that out too. Every month or two, I will faint or almost faint on the first day of my period and I’m more vulnerable to having a seizure during that time. If I ever want to give birth, my children can possibly inherit my condition or be stuck taking care of me when I should be caring for them. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

This is not to say that people with epilepsy can’t have fulfilling sex lives or raise families. But we just do it at a greater risk that even some neurologists aren’t aware of. I had to tell my neurologist last year why I didn’t want to go on the pill because HE didn’t know it interacted negatively with my meds. I’ve known women who were prescribed the pill or meds BY A PROFESSIONAL that interacted negatively with each other and gave them seizures as a result. It takes ‘find the right method for you’ to a whole new level. If your partner has epilepsy, its so important to discuss birth control and take their condition into consideration. I hear men telling their girlfriends to go on the pill so that they don’t have to use a condom, which is really selfish for a start and also disregards other forms of birth control. Do your research but let them and their own trusted neurologist decide which form is best. You should still be using a condom to protect yourselves anyway! And if you and your epileptic partner decide you would like to have children, do the same process and make sure that they are in a safe position to do so.

9. *TW: DEATH* Threatening (even ‘jokingly’) to trigger a seizure in someone is playing with that person’s life. SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy) affects roughly 1 in 1000 people each year. Even if that person doesn’t die after their seizure, you may have just broken a record they set for days, months or YEARS without a seizure. You just revoked their driving license and they weren’t even behind a wheel. You just prescribed them new doses of medication without any years of medical school.

Growing up, I had countless incidences where classmates would joke about making me have a seizure. If the teacher left the room for anything, the first thing they would do is run up to the lightswitch and fuck around with it. In secondary school, I stopped using the bathroom at lunch because one of the girls thought it was funny to deliberately flick the lights on and off anytime I was inside. She would snicker and call out to me while I was in the stall, asking if it could make me have a seizure. Even after saying yes, she continued to do it. If I did end up having a seizure in that bathroom, god knows what could have happened. I had a seizure in a bathroom before and was lucky I only hurt my jaw as my head slammed against the wall. Others aren’t so lucky. Injuries from seizures can be brutal, just like OP said. Yeah, you might not kill them by triggering a seizure, but what injuries do they have to deal with after?

Imagine playing a game for years and you spent ages collecting all the items, defeating every boss and proudly showing off the trophies you won. Now imagine someone suddenly pulls the cord as you’re playing; your game freezes, the screen shuts to black and when you try to frantically start it up again and see where you had remembered to last save, it says your data is corrupted and deletes everything without your permission. It doesn’t matter where or when you saved. You have to start your progress all over again. You can try memorise the strategies from before but the game switches things up and suddenly you’re hit with a difficulty spike out of nowhere. The person who joked around and pulled the plug doesn’t have to do anything. And if they wanted to, they could do the same thing again and again. Don’t be that person. Be their Player 2 and help them. If they need to go into a dungeon but they’re scared to be alone, offer to cover their back. If their health is low, find them a safe spot and let them heal. The same goes for appointments and seizures. Its not a multiplayer game by default and while they can power through solo, that doesn’t mean they don’t need help if they’re ever stuck.

10. To end on a more positive note, there are lots of successful people out who have/had epilepsy and you probably never even knew. Cameron Boyce’s passing brought attention to SUDEP and celebrities with epilepsy but did you also know about these people and their own cases and seizures?

Prince

Elton John

Lewis Carroll

Danny Glover

Lil Wayne

Neil Young

Hugo Weaving

Charles Dickens

Julius Caesar

Vincent Van Gogh

Theodore Roosevelt

Adam Horovitz

Susan Boyle

Rick Harrison (the Pawn Stars guy!)

And some who are not confirmed (due to medical practices of the time) but are suggested as a result of numerous seizures:

Leonardo da Vinci

Michelangelo

Edgar Allen Poe

Agatha Christie

Socrates

Napoleon Bonaparte

Aristotle

Alexander the Great

Epileptics are humans, normal people just like you. And like you, they’re capable of great things too. If you think about making a crude comment to someone with epilepsy, think about these people and ask yourself if you would say the same things to them. 

If you read all of this, comment with a ⭐️ and please reblog to spread awareness. Whenever we talk about epilepsy, we start and stop the conversation at seizures. Its good to bring awareness to the other things too because its something that affects every part of our lives. Its an invisible disability but that doesn’t mean we are hidden from the disability community and discussion!

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

5 times people got an insight into Freed and Laxus’ marriage and one time the whole guild did.

For @bluejaii, who sent me the sweetest ask and for @aceofheartsworld who always leaves the most heartwarming comments ! 

1. Gildarts

On the unique times that Gildarts is present in the guildhall, there are a few things he likes to do. The first being showering his amazing daughter with love and support, of course. Making good use of the guild's alcohol supply is second and his third favourite thing, involves bothering the shit out of the youngsters. Wendy and Romeo are easy to fool, eager to believe anything as long as it's said by an adult (Wendy more so than Romeo). Others are unbotherable (he doesn't know how to tease Erza without gravely insulting her, she ticks in a weird way.) Elfman is very easy to tease (How's your girlfriend doing?) and flustering Juvia is the simplest thing in the world. Now, one of Gildarts' favourite victims must be Laxus Dreyar himself.

The youngster has always been a bit (a lot) defensive when it comes to personal relationships and it's only gotten worse with the years. So of course, Gildarts has been asking the young man the same question every time he sees him : "You married yet?" It never fails to ruffle his feathers and Gildarts' always hides his laugh when the other man starts to look at anything but him before stomping off to God knows where.

Because Laxus probably relates Gildarts to feelings ranging from lowkey annoyance to highkey annoyance, the youngster tends to avoid him. So it comes as a complete surprise when Laxus enters the guildhall, lays eyes on Gildarts and smirks. His surprise gets even bigger when the young man takes a seat right in front of him and says : "Let's talk old man."

Although he's a little put off by Laxus seeking him out, he's not about to let that deter him from bothering the man. Leaning back, he plans to ask his usual question, absolutely sure of its effect until he studies Laxus carefully. He has his hand propped up under his chin and his smile gets smugger when Gildarts' eyes land on his ringfinger. His ringfinger adorned with an actual ring. A wedding ring. On Laxus' finger. After a minor mindimplosion, Gildarts opens his mouth to scream. Laxus stops him by slamming a menu card into his mouth.

"Listen, I'm here for one reason and reason only", Laxus states and glares at him with eyes that are very, very alike to Makarov's when he's displeased. Fucking genetics. "Okay, shoot."

"You had one wife that you liked, right? Cana's ma." He nods. "She was the love of my life. Why do you ask?” For a long time, Laxus stares at him and Gildarts wonders if the other is evaluating how genuine he is. Then, he crosses his arms and lowers his head unto them. "My partner is amazing", he blurts out and after that, he starts a three hour rant about why he loves his spouse.

-

2. Cana

"Laxus, drink with me!" she yells before plopping down annoyingly close next to him on the bench, invading his personal space just a little bit. She knows it doesn't bother Laxus at all, but it does bother his greenie and Cana has decided that she has the full right to pester him in every petty way possible. Scanning the area, she comes to the conclusion that Freed isn't around. Bummer.

"It's the good stuff", she winks and he gives her an amused huff before shaking his head. "No thanks, I'm good." Sticking out her tongue, she slaps his bicep. "Boo, where did your sense of adventure go? Your tongue for excellent beerrrr", she says while obnoxiously rolling her r's. "I think my husband wouldn't appreciate it too much, should I arrive at home drunk. I don't want to arrive home drunk either, because it makes my memory spotty and you best believe that I do not want to forget a single moment with my spouse."

Oh god. Laxus Dreyar isn't even drunk and he's already sappy. Looking at the clock, Laxus hums before ruffling her hair and standing up. "Dinnertime's rolling around and I'm not a lowly fucker, so I'm going to help my husband. You have fun, Cana." Watching his retreating back, Cana mutters : "Need me a freak like that."

-

3. Gajeel

On some subconscious level, Laxus still makes him feel a bit jittery. They've both been absolutely shitty, turned around and became less shitty. They have even regularly fought the same fights and Gajeel has teased the man quite a bit (as long as there were other people around). Doesn't mean that his body has forgotten what getting electrocuted felt like. So, one can understand that Gajeel felt an itty bitty nervous when Laxus stormed into the guildhall and then in his direction.

"Gajeel." His hope that the man was seeking out someone else leaps out of the window. "What", he snaps back and the other man's jaw tightens. "Your bookworm." Immediately, the protectiveness flares up, nervousness forgotten. "What about her?"

"She likes books."

What. How the fuck does this man's brain work? Looking at Laxus, who's running his hand through his hair and huffing in frustration, he decides to shut up until the guy finds his words. He doesn't seem to be that good at it. "You guys went to that book convention two towns over a few days ago. Did she think it was worth it?"

Laxus being the reading type? That's one that Gajeel did not see coming. Then it hits him like a freighttrain and he cackles. "Need a place to take your boyfriend to? Don't worry, I won't tell a soul."

"My what? I don't have a boyfriend." Oops. Turns out he was too fast. "My bad, but seriously ask Freed out, he'll say yes. Not to overstep any boundaries or something, but you deserve happiness and shit. People tell me that a lot, so I thought I'd relay the message." The corner of Laxus' mouth turns up and Gajeel mentally pats himself on the back. God, he's good at this. He should start making motivational songs.

"Thanks, my husband tends to tell me that too." Then he leaves. The jackass.

-

4. Lucy and Natsu

It's a mystery. An enigma. A plotline more intriguing than anything she'd cooked up lately. What is this baffling conundrum Lucy has been trying to unravel? Laxus Dreyar's dating life.

Okay, maybe it isn't that big of a deal, but the man is surrounded by the prettiest people in the world (Mirajane, Cana, to name a few) and doesn't seem to be too interested in them (she can't relate). If she were less... cautious, she would've asked him about it by now, but alas, she's still a bit of a chicken sometimes. Sue her.

"Lucy, what are we doing?" Natsu flatly asks her. "Spying on Laxus", she whispers back and Natsu hums. "Understandable. Why?"

"Do you think anyone is interested in him?" she asks and wonders if the intricacies of romantic attraction even register in Natsu's head. His answer absolutely floors her. "Lucy, there's only two types of people who haven’t had a crush on Laxus once in their live and those are the ones that aren't into men. Or are too cowardly to admit it. Luckily for me, I'm neither of those."

"You had a crush on Laxus?" He rolls his eyes. "Keep up with the plan Luigi, of course, just like ninety percent of the guild. You've ever thought he's hot?" She admits: "Yeah, like once or twice."

"See Lucy, now you're getting what bi/pan solidarity is."

"Bonding over how hot Laxus is?"

"You might as well start calling it bi/pan/gay solidarity then", a new, terribly amused voice says above them and Lucy lets out an "Eep!" and hits her head against the table. Crawling from underneath it, she and Natsu come face to face with Freed Justine, who's looking both too entertained and smug.

Refusing to let go of her pastime, Lucy puts her hands on her hips and faces the captain. "What's Laxus' dating life like?" she demands to know and Freed shrugs. "I wouldn't know, he doesn't have one."

"Oh", she pouts and he chuckles. "If that's all, I'm gonna join the subject of your espionage." Right before he leaves, he looks over his shoulder and adds : "Since his dating life is nonexistent, you should ask him about his marriage."

-

5. Wendy

The flyer picturing the fair looks positively radiant and Wendy can nearly smell the candy apples and other sugared goods. It's a shame she won't be able to go though, because her team will be going on a mission and it's too far and dangerous for her to travel alone. A shadow alerts her of someone standing behind her and when she whirls around, she comes face to face (well more like face to chest) with Freed.

He too is staring at the poster and shyly she says. "It looks fun, doesn't it? If I were able to go, I'd take someone dear with me." Her voice must've sound a tad bit too longing, because he glances in her direction and asks : "Are you not able to go?" She shakes her head. "No, my team will be away and it's too far to go without adult supervision."

"I could go with you, if you do not mind my company, that is. Ah, I'll be taking someone dear to me along too, so you could invite Chelia if you wanted too." More often than not, she curses her face for revealing exactly what she's thinking, but right now, Wendy is over the moon. "Thank you mister Freed!" she yells before giving him a hug and speeding off. She's gonna have a blast with Chelia!

"Seems like our babysitters are tired", Chelia grins before shrugging. "Eh, at least we got candy out of it." As the two of them share their candy, Wendy looks at the scene in front of them. With an amount of skill that she certainly hadn't expected, Laxus is pinning Freed's hair up with a hairpin that he'd won a little while earlier. The light reflects off the pin and the rings adorning both men's fingers.

"Hey Wendy", Chelia says, laying her head on Wendy's shoulder. "When we're old like those two, let's be like that." Putting her hand on top of Chelia's and weaving their fingers together, Wendy nods sleepily. "Let's do that."

-

+1 Makarov or actually, + the whole guild

"Hey Gramps, you mind if we throw a guild party?" Well, aren't those words he thought he'd never hear out of his grandson's mouth. "You do whatever you want brat, as long as you can pay for it. What's the occassion?"

"Oh I got married."

"You what?"

(They get to hold the party and yes, Makarov cries over his grandsons. Both of them.)

[tcrumb]

Melanie Martinez Should Never Change Her Brand

So if you don’t know Melanie Martinez, she’s a singer/song writer who really launch into the mainstream after her 2012 appearance on The Voice. She didn’t win, the good ones never do, but she did catch many people’s attention with her interesting look. Her hair is split right down the middle with one half bleached and one half black, she wore very preppy clothes, and topped the look off with a giant bow. 

Fast forward 7 years later and she has solidified her brand. She’s Cry Baby, a kid at heart with morbid ways of expressing herself. She traded in her preppy attire for what I would describe as puffy, frilly, and pink. Majority of her songs focus on some element of childhood, and she uses this as a lens to express her feelings in her adult life. Nothing better represents Martinez’s brand than her most recent album, K-12.

So the premise of K-12 is Martinez going through each grade level of school starting with kindergarten all the way to senior year of high school. Each song focuses on some element of school life starting with the first song titled Wheels on The Bus. I can only give my personal interpretation for all of these songs, but I'm sure it won’t be too far off from the general consensus. This song is a play on the classic nursery rhyme of the same name and it’s about children being left up to their own devices when the adults aren’t paying attention. This song is very upbeat and lighthearted vocally and instrumentally, but lyrically it’s a bit more mischievous (couldn’t think of the right word so that will have to do). With lyrics like “Now, I'ma light it up and pass it Puff‚ puff and pass it Don't be a dick and babysit, c'mon, just pass it over here” it reminds me of the side of growing up that the parents like to imagine doesn’t happen. The part where you get high with your friends in the school bathroom, or hookup with the kid who sits next to you just because he’s kinda cute. It happens all the time, but parents like to pretend their child is the exception. They are not. 7.8 out of 10.

Class Fight is up next. The song is about two girls fighting over the affections of some boy. There is a common theme that pops up in some of Melanie’s songs, and that is that her parents are awful. This song is no different. During this fight her dad is encouraging a hesitant Martinez to “go for the throat”. I can’t relate to this song in particular but I’m sure someone somewhere can. It’s less than three minutes long but it’s way too repetitive for me, in fact I just looked it up and the phrase “for the throat” came up 38 times. This song is usually one I skip. 6.5 out of 10.

Her next song is titled The Principal and its about a power hungry man who does not care about those he was suppose to protect. In the song she talks a bit about the state of the US with the opioid epidemic and the constant school shootings in the line “Killing kids all day and night, prescription pills and online fights”. In hindsight I should have already known this, but the song is about our president Donald Middle Name That I’m Forgetting Trump. This song was in my top 3 on the album before I even knew it was about Trump, and now I hear it from a different perspective. She’s frustrated and truly angry with this man, and she feels left behind. The post-chorus is just Martinez calling out asking where’s the principal. I never got that part before but now I have a whole new appreciation for this song. 8.2 out of 10.

Show and Tell is the next song and it has the interesting beat. It feels like a slow grandfather clock ticking. While I'm at it I might as well mention that I love the little effects she adds in backgrounds of her songs, like dogs growling, or kids cheering, it’s a nice touch. Okay back to Show and Tell. This song focuses on Martinez struggle with the constant spotlight that is on her, and how the paparazzi can make her feel like an object that is meant to be observed and toyed with. I love the beat on this song, it makes me feel like something is creeping up on me, I always expect some kind of beat drop but it never really comes. 7.9 out of 10.

Nurse’s Office  is the one song off the album that perfectly describes what my middle school experience was like. In the song Martinez wants to avoid the hell that is school by faking an illness and getting sent to the nurse’s office. It reminds me of all those uncomfortable years we all went through growing up. I remember faking a stomachache and going to the nurse’s office during gym class just to sit alone on a mat for 40 minutes and scroll through my phone. The feeling is real and this song captures it. This song sounds the way Alice and Wonderland looks and feels, there is no better way to describe it than that but hopefully when you listen to it you’ll know what I mean. 8.8 out of 10.

Do you remember all the bullshit you had to pretend to care about in middle school? Like when Stacy told Erica that Bethany wasn’t her friend anymore and omg how dare she do that? Or when someone makes fun of your socks for being too colorful, or calls you an attention whore for dying your hair red?  That’s what Drama Club is about, it’s about how words get misconstrued, things get blown up out of proportion, and if you don’t follow the script of life perfectly you asking for drama. Drama in middle school felt like the end of the world especially because half the time you couldn’t tell what even started it. It was tiring, it was senseless, it was frustrating, and I hate to admit but it was painful, and all on that comes through in the vocals. Thank fucking god  we outgrow that all that stuff. 8 out of 10.

Strawberry Shortcake talks about the pressure many girls feel when they are growing into their bodies. People stare, comment, compare, judge, grab, and hurt young girls all the time and blame them for being too tempting. I heard it from my own mother all the time growing up, she told me going out in cutoff shorts is why men will take advantage of me. In the lines “It's my fault, it's my fault 'cause I put icing on top Now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake That's my bad, that's my bad, no one told them not to grab” Melanie takes on an apologetic tone when talking about her own body. It is only towards the end of the song when she takes on a more confident tone and claims her body for her self. 8.1 out of 10.

The 8th song on the album is a short little song titled Lunchbox Friends. The song’s about fake/temporary friends that only want you around when it’s convenient. I love the chorus in this one because her voice was altered to be a lower and slightly distorted pitch. There’s not much to say about this song but it is remarkable high on my ranking for this album, 8.6 out of 10.

Orange Juice covers the very serious topic of eating disorders and uses orange juice as a metaphor for bulimia. The vocals are very soothing and the instrumentals relaxing. The song is gentle, and the lyrics are of Martinez trying to comfort a friend that is currently suffering from an eating disorder. It’s a powerful song without needing all the force or heavy beats from a traditional empowerment song. 8.5 out of 10. 

Detention is the one song off the album I always skip. The beat is almost tropical and the lyrics don’t have as focused of a message as the rest of the songs. It’s similar to Show and Tell in messaging,  it’s about dealing with fame and having to be on your best behavior to satisfy other people. But it’s always been the song I could do without. 5 out of 10.

Teacher’s Pet on the other hand is a song I have never skipped when it came up on shuffle. The song’s about a student-teacher affair, and how the student has to grapple with the fact that the relationship is wrong on paper but hiding the relationship makes her feel like a dirty secret. Melanie’s voice is sultry and the beat lurking and intimidating. This song doesn’t hit close to home for a lot of people but it does a great job placing you in the students shoes. 9 out of 10

High School Sweethearts is not only my absolute favorite song off the album but it’s one of my favorite songs ever. The beat and vocals starts very slow and romantic until they pick up pace as the song goes on and it becomes more more bouncy. Melanie is asking her sweetheart to treat her right in her own special and dark way. One line that sums this up best is “Step six If you can't put in work, I don't know what you think this fucking is Step seven, this one goes to eleven If you cheat, you will die, die”. It’s a fun song, it’s a sweet song (kinda), and I’m obsessed with it. 9.99 out of 10. 

We made it. The final song is call Recess. The song reminds me of what would play at end of a movie after the happy ending and when the credits are rolling. The song is about prioritizing yourself and your happiness and not letting others take advantage of you. It’s the perfect ending to the album and it’s a neat little song. 8 out of 10.

Final Ranking

13. Detention

12. Class Fight

11. Wheels On the Bus

10. Show and Tell

9./8. Drama Club/Recess

7. Strawberry Shortcake

6. The Principal

5. Orange Juice

4. Lunchbox Friends

3. Nurse’s Office 

2. Teacher’s Pet

1. High School Sweetheart