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redcherrykook · 4 months

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── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 5

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College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode five!

Song recommendation: white Mustang- Lana del rey

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting, brief hospital setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments

Sexual content: (light) praise kink, (light) size kink (lmao next episode bout to go crazy with that one), oral; fem. receiving, chest play, making out

Taglist: @bts-iris @kaeysv @khadeeeeej @rockstryoon

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Another day, another night spent on the couch of Jungkook, watching some sort of show with him, munching on dinner he cooked.

He got used to cooking for two.

Its been a week,

A week that turned into a week and a half.

Still no calls, no places, no friends to crash at.

Not even Taehyung, his fraternity house is much worse than just staying with Jungkook.

Not like it bothered you, Jungkook is comfortable, he has a cozy apartment with enough space for two people.

Growing borderline nice from day to day.

His little gestures like buying two of the icetea he drinks, like changing the sheets if you had class the days he hadn't, cooking jjajangmyeon without onions because you hate them.

It was easy to get used to his routine, to bicker with him daily, to sit next to him when he works on his lesson preperation, while you study for your classes.

Sleeping in his shirt, doing your laundry in his bathroom, and accidentally stumbling across his calvin klein's.

It felt intimate at times, like living together was more than just that.

Tonight is different.

Tonight would be your very first party.

After a whole week of persuasion, Taehyung talking your ear off about how fun it was, how many people you could meet, how you could dance your heart away.

You decided, fuck it. One party.

"To be clear, I'm NOT drinking and i swear if you touch me, Taehyung, I will actually strangle you" loud and clear, your boundaries set while you're on call with him. Taehyung called you at 10pm as you were peacefully watching "Running man" with Jungkook, at first you shut off the call.

Until another followed by another call coming through.

"Just come on! once! One single time" he begged, Jungkook's jaw clenching at the voice from the other end of the phone.

He simply can not stand Taehyung, the way he devours you with his eyes, the way he talked you into doing things you don´t normally want to do,

like parties.

In desperate need of social contacts and having some serious fun, a party doesn't sound too bad anymore, Tae would keep his hands off, now that you told him to.

"You're seriously going?" Jungkook asks once you end the call, his eyes stern and burning through you, judging you almost.

"Yeah. You can enjoy a night to yourself again, I won't get back late, I promise" you smile at him, already thinking of what to wear from your very limited selection of clothes.

He scoffs, pressing his lips together.

"What? Got something against it?" your head tilts, a playful smirk on your lips.

His eyes move away from yours and back to the flashy TV screen.

"Just not looking forward to having to pick you up wasted, possibly having to push off some jerk to even get to you" his tongue presses the inside of his cheek, not making eye contact with you. A strong hand is rubbing his thighs that are spread on his couch, while the other one moves through his hair, lifting his arm enough to see his well defined triceps.

A part of you hopes that he was jealous, that he hated the thought of you making out with some college jerk, just like you hated the thought of making out with anyone that wasn't him.

There was nothing left to confront, nothing to deny.

You have a crush on Jungkook, on your photography teacher that you live with.

Maybe it was the intimacy of living with him, but the racing heartbeat in your chest, the pertruding smile on your face whenever he smiled too, even if slight, even if to make fun of you,

The throbbing between your thighs when he speaks in his sultry, low voice. The way his hair is messy most of the time, how his muscles flex when he's working, his groans of frustration, making you wonder just how he could sound if he groaned more. Your thoughts when he drives with his skillful fingers, the way he licks his lip piercing when he's focused. Having to surpress the thoughts of what happened, almost happened, when you were both drunken by the burning alcohol.

All of it is impossible to ignore, to talk yourself into believing it´s nothing.

Every inch of him, of his habits, it made you flaunt for him. Wishing that instead of his shirt, it was him, sleeping next to you peacefully.

Looking at him ever so often, hoping to catch him looking back.

Even taking longer in the shower when your wandering thoughts get accompanied by your wandering hands.

It is wrong, it is so wrong because he's your teacher, because the goodness behind his hard exterior helped you through your own mess in life.

And yet, you find yourself going out to party away the thought of him, only to return back to him the same night.

"Don't worry kook, I'm not drinking. You won't have to pick me up, just enjoy your night alone" you make your way into the guest bedroom to change.

"Am not worried, you're old enough" he grumbles as you walk away.

Of course, he wasn't worried.

Until he's stuck in his living room, pacing around.

He glances at the clock, 2:15 am, still no text, still no doorbell.

Originally, Jungkook wasn't going to do anything special, just watch Tv and cook something nice for a midnight snack.

You had left the house at half past ten, in a pair of black low waisted cargos and a tight fitting crop tee. Black as well, matching your shoes too.

Simple, comfortable, not too revealing.

Not that he would have cared if someone saw you in a revealing outfit,

That's what he likes to believe. In reality, he would have probably come with you if you did, glaring at every guy who dared to look.

The thought of you not answering his text because of being drunk somewhere or being in bed with a guy you had just met made him sick.

"I'm not letting you walk back at this hour. Call me when you need me to pick you up. And don't start arguing over this"

Sent at 11:39, over two hours ago.

Left on delivered.

He sits back down, sighing and deciding to call over his best friend, turn this into a boys night.

You are out partying, probably having fun with other people, why shouldn´t he?

Dialing the familiar number, it rings briefly before a voice deep answers the phone.

"JK! what's up bro?" Mingyu greets

"I'm good. My student left so i thought i'd ask you to come over? Haven't hung out in a while" Jungkook humms while checking the pantry for any snacks.

"Your little girlfriend left? Miss her so much you gotta make your best friend keep you company?" Mingyu laughs loudly from the other side of the phone.

Naturally, being Jungkook's best friend, he knew about the night that you almost kissed. Ever since then, he's been teasing him about it. Pissing him off by insisting on calling you his "little girlfriend".

"Fuck off gyu, could´ve just said no asshole" he scoffs, ready to hang up the phone.

"Don't get so butthurt Jk, she's getting you soft already. I'll be there in 20. Wanna go to a bar?"

He ignores the other comment,

"Nah, I'll go pick her up later. Stop by to get some snacks" he replies casually.

"Alright. Where did she go by the way?" Mingyu just noticed that Jungkook hasn't mentioned why you weren't at his apartment tonight.

His scoff was enough response that could be heard on the other end of the call,

"A fucking frat party"

Mingyu chuckles, thinking up a cheeky reply, but he was too slow.

Jungkook hangs up the phone, waiting patiently for a ring on his doorbell, not sure if he was still waiting for you or Mingyu.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"You'e insane Tae" you shout through the blaring music, barely able to hear the sound of your own words against people screaming and a bass stronger than any drug that was being done around you.

There were many of those, openly at that.

"Is that good?" He shouts back, grinning.

The party is as expected of a frat house party, about sixty college students running around the large apartment, a pool, many couches filled with girls and all of that jock stuff.

Bottles flying around in the kitchen which you found yourself standing in right now, all types of alcohol and cocktail mixes in bowls, what ever is them no one really knows.

Clothes seem basically optional here, most guys are running around shirtless, most girls running to the pool that´s a few feet from the huge glass sliding door around the corner, wearing either underwear or nothing at all.

Taehyung thankfully being clothed.

He did, as usual, have a stupid thought. Thinking it was a great idea trying to outdrink his friend that you had just met,

And already hate.

Jackson, a tall football player who's shoulders are as huge as his ego. He, like the rest of the guys, is shirtless, covered in hickies that wrap all the way around his neck.

Apart from the fact that he's made out with four different girls that all called him some variation of the word 'baby',

he has also been eye fucking you since you first saw him

To which Taehyung is oblivious to, or has been ignoring.

Still, he promised you not to leave your side throughout the entire night, as well as making sure you don't drink, like you had said you wouldn't.

"What? Think I can't win?" He says again when noticing you silently judging him.

You roll your eyes, hands throwing upward to express just how ridiculous he's being "Not about winning, it's a stupid idea. I'm not gonna pick your ass up the floor"

Taehyung laughs in return, throwing back his first shot, to which Jackson follows

"You won't have to"

Jackson smirks, "nine more to go Tae"

"Easy buddy, gonna kick your ass" his voice sounding cocky, already on his way to pour the next shot of vodka.

"Sure you don't want a shot miss goody two shoes?" Jacksons eyes wander to your cleavage,

Eyes are up here, you think.

"Sounding like a broken record at this point. No drinks" you scoff at him, grossed out by his shameless behavior.

In order to distract yourself from the situation, your eyes wander around the apartment, looking for anything interesting.

People making out left and right, no matter if "Va Va Voom" or "Fe!n" played, no one cared who was looking, what lyric was blaring.

It made you cringe inside when you spotted a guy grinding against a girl you knew from Piano lessons, right next to two guys taking molly.

Never going to a frat party again, you think.

Upon first arrival, it was really fun. Tae was dancing his heart out with you, making small talk with some people here and there. You could engage with them as well. Soon enough, he started drinking, making himself tipsy within a couple shots and a beer.

By then you realized you would end up having to look after him at the end of the night, not the other way around.

While you came to make friends, it was practically impossible. Sure, amaybe small talk. Sadly, it always led to the same outcome:

Every girl coming up tried to get it in with Tae and glared at you for being with him or was too drunk.

Meanwhile every guy either tried to get you to drink, tried to touch you, to which Taehyung did push them off immediately, or was also well, way too drunk.

So much for making friends, i guess.

Noticing you have been zoning out for a while, your eyes glance back to the guys in front of you, leaning against the counter.

Wondering how many shots it has been since you last looked.

Both set the small, empty shot glasses on top of the surface.

"Six. Four left to go Tae" Jackson looks relaxed, flushed out a bit but definitely stable, definitely not tipsy yet.

Taehyung on the other hand was slurring his words, a drunkenly hazed smile spread flat across his flushed pink face.

" 'course man. Bring it on"

Shaking your head, you ponder if it was even worth staying still.

Time is truly a weird thing because just when the thought was finished, the words "I´m leaving" at the tip of your tongue,

The guys have already taken another shot, the 7th one back to back.

Tae opens his mouth to speak, presumably about to brag,

" s'easy Jacks-"

but, he can't finish his sentence due to gagging and quickly covering his mouth with his hand.

Of course.

You wince at the sight, Tae stumbles back fast, running and making his way to the bathroom on unstable footing.

That's to not leaving my side tonight, i guess.

A few minutes with Jackson would be fine, you suppose. Tae would be back soon enough.

"Come on princess, take a shot too. Loosen up a bit"

His steps approach you as he talks, his voice sounding like a little devil, waiting to convince you of his foolish plans.

You laugh a small, annoyed laugh,

One hand running through your hair as you talk,

"How many times have i told you I'm not drinking?" unamused, as you look him up and down

But he steps one foot closer, finger grazing your arm maliciously, bringing shivers to your skin at an instant.

"Come on, you need it. Let me give it to you princess, now that Taehyung is gone"

Instinctively tug your arm back, ready to scream in disgust.

But his grip only tightens, a whole palm wrapped around your wirst now, trapping you in his hold as he squeezes.

Angry and scared all at once, you shout at him, the sound coming from the bottom of your throat.

"Fuck off, i told you im not interested"

The pop music playing betrays you, drowning out your screams, reducing it to a hopless yelp.

Filled with rage and mentally cursing at Taehyung for being careless, your eyes flicker to the way which he had left, only to find it filled with everyone but him.

Jacksons arm swiftly moves to grab your hip as he steps closer, his other hand making its way to your waist. He leans down, breath close enough to make every single hair stand up on your neck.

"Fine, if you wanna act so stuck up, hope you know how to swim bitch. Might pull out the stck from your ass"

Before you could process what words had left his mouth, you were lifted up over his shoulders as he ran out the glass door.

no no no no no

A second later you are submerged in the cold water of the pool, splashing loudly,

Not failing to catch everyone´s attention.

The reality of what you had dreaded surrounding you as your mind runs miles.

Muffled you can make out people shouting, the water drowning out the sounds ever so slightly, dimming your lights.

Shutting out any other thoughts.

Fuck.

Helplessly, your arms move, trying to fight your way back up.

Gasping for a breath of air once your face had finally poked out from the greedy water below you,

A laughter breaks,

And another one,

Soon enough it felt like the whole campus was laughing at you, calling you pathetic.

When you manage to climb your way up to the surface completely, holding on to the rim for dear life, you hadn´t yet fully grasped what was going on,.

Everyone else on the other hand had, phones recording your smudged, drenched face and hair, clothes clinging to every nook of your figure, working hard to drag you back down by the heavy weight.

Weakly you pull yourself out of the pool, the sound of laughter still humiliating you, along with Jackson proudly walking off inside the party again.

Probably searching for his next victim.

Absolutely petrified and fucking freezing, you run back to the kitchen were you had left your bag minutes ago. Ready to find Taehyung and get the hell out of this mess.

Minutes before you were thrown in a pool on your first and certainly last frat party, being caught on camera on top of everything.

While pushing through people, you do happen to spot Taehyung,

on the couch,

making out shirtless with a girl that, not surprisingly, Jackson had made out with tonight as well.

That must have been your very last straw, he had not even gone looking for you, not even thinking of why you might be gone.

The dam holding back tears of embarrassment and frustration breaking, evrey single tear you had in you beginning to flow down your face, merging with the chlorinated water that´s already coated along your entirety.

Grabbing your purse and running out, you call the only person you knew to call.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"FUCK YOU GYUUUU IM WINNING" the XBox Controller tightly clutched in his hand, hunched forward to stare at the screen that lights up his dark bedroom, Jungkook's voice rings through his apartment.

Fifa is not for the weak if you play with Jungkook.

"JEON JUNGKOOK YOU FUCKER" Mingyu screams back, slamming the controller down on the teachers bed.

He lost again, 5th time in a row. There is truly nothing that Jungkook can´t do, it seems.

"Mad huh? Mad?" he laughs, punching into his best friends arm jokingly, a wide and proud smile provoking every one of Mingyu´s nerves at once.

The moment is caught off by his phone ringing, interrupting Mingyu in the middle of trying to deck Jungkook straight in the stomach.

He picks it up, reading your name on his bright screen.

Mingyu, as curious as he is, listens for any words he could make out, planing to use it for teasing Jungkook later on.

Only to be met with loud cries and hics,

"Jungkook please come get me, something horrible happend i wanna go home please pick me up, please come get me, ah fuck" you ramble through sobs, not being able to think straight.

Jungkook's eyes soften at the noise, his eyebrows meeting together as worry washes through his body.

He looks at mingyu who seems equally as worried.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay. Just send me your location, it's okay, i'll drive fast" while he says this, his body shoots up, tucking his phone between his shoulder and face to put on a jacket and gather his keys in the meantime.

Mingyu stands up with him, rushing to put on his own shoes and jacket.

"Thank you, thank you" you mumble again, trying to tap your phone through blurry vision, barely managing to hold it together any second more.

The sounds from the other end stop, his phone slipping back in his pocket.

"Fuck gyu i might end up in jail today if someone fucking touched her" he groans, jutting down the stairs with his best friend following.

"I'll bail you out. Want me to tag along? Might need some help" he asks, wondering what could have possibly made you this upset.

So does Jungkook, thinking of the worst possible situations, a pang of guilt running through him.

Should have come with her, he thinks.

Jungkook shakes his head, "No no, thank you tough. I don't want her to feel unsafe, she might not wanna see anyone right now" his thoughts continue running ballistic, from going to hold you and reassure you that it is okay, to strangling who ever made you sob, made you sound so scared.

Mingyu smiles, "Take good care of her. You care about her a lot, that's good" he pats his back, before making his way down to his own car while Jungkook unlocks his.

Sitting down and scrambling to turn the engine on, he drives as fast as he can through the thankfully empty streets, keeping an eye on your live location in anxiety that it would move.

When he finally spots you, crying messily, squatted down next to a random building, his car pulls over.

Having to fight back the urge to cradle you, wipe all your tears.

Sure, he had seen you upset before, seen you hurt after something and usually, he'd be annoyed,

Having to muster up some empathy.

Not this time, not when you were falling apart in the cold, in the middle of the road.

There was nothing put empathy in his system.

Jungkook runs out of the car, crouching down in front of you, his eyes scanning your figure.

He notices your entire body shaking, clothes clinging to you, soaking wet. Once his eyes move up your face, he sees your wet hair sticking to your face with eyeliner running down to your jaw.

Eyes red and lips trembling.

"Y/n what.. what happened" he reaches forward to set a hand on your arm, his thumb stroking your cold skin, hoping to provide any warmth.

Every thought of beating up the person who had brought you to this state leaving him,

All he cares about when seeing you so fragile is wanting to make you feel okay.

Your voice comes out broken, wiping your tears with unstable hands. Even in the dark of the night, you could make up the worried expression on his face.

You felt ashamed, embarrassed to have to call him, to make him see you like this.

The look on his face earsed every trace of feeling pathetic before his eyes,

Knowing you were safe now.

He had never felt so angry and devastated combined, desperately he wants to stop your tears. Longing for anything that would return you to your usual self.

"home please i, i will tell y-you later"

Jungkook nods, standing up as he signals you to stand up as well.

Holding on to the wall behind you, you get up, only to stumble forward. The cold on your wet skin is too much, the wind pushing you back to the ground,

contributing to your already triggered state of mind.

It is all too much.

His strong arms catch you from falling to the floor, wrapping around your own shivering ones.

"It's okay. Can i carry you inside? Don't want you to fall" his eyes scan for any reaction, any indication of you being even slightly uncomfortable.

But you trust Jungkook, you needed him right now.

So you nod, looking back at him with a noticeable look of appreciation.

Gently, one of his hands move to wrap around your shoulders as he crouches down slightly. His other arm wraps around your thighs, delicately swinging you in his arms bridal style.

The water is dripping on to his own clothes, but he doesn´t even feel it at all, he doesn´t notice how your tears trickle down to his shirt when you try to hold up your head.

How your hair was whipping against his chest with every step.

The way he touches you is sweet enough to erase the marks of disgust left on your skin by Jackson's filthy hands.

Slowly he walks to the car, ducking his head and back to open the back door without having to set you down.

The crying has stopped out of pure exhaustion, although the comforting smell of Jungkook's clothes did contribute a fair amount.

He has begun to feel like home.

His arms reach forward to lay you down in the backseats.

"Try to relax okay? Im gonna get us home fast, it's gonna be okay" he mumbles, stroking your arm reassuringly as he let's go of you.

You don't manage to react in any way, even if your heart had swelled up in your chest.

Jungkook jogs to the drivers seat, making his way inside the car again.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The whole ride was completely silent. Not even the usual humming habit of Jungkook sounding in the car.

With your back pressed on the seats in the back your eyes are pried open, red and burning from the make up and salt on your face. You´re thinking of blocking Taehyung and never wasting a word on him ever again.

Almost blaming yourself for giving in and coming to the party in the first place.

The car comes to a hold, the familiar street greeting you when you sit back up to look around.

Jungkooks eyes looking at you from the mirror, releasing a breath he had held for way too long.

Thanking himself internally for keeping your vow of not drinking.

He gets out, walking over to open your door and sticking a hand out to you.

You look up at him with the weakest smile he had ever seen, admiring you for even being able to muster up any smile at all.

grit your teeth sometimes and keep going, he had told you back in the hospital.

Your own hand clasping into his, heart skipping a beat as he pulls you up.

His hand never left your own until he had opened the door to his apartment.

He didn't need to ask this time, knowing you would take his hand.

It made him melt when you did.

"I'm gonna get you clothes okay? Sit down on the couch" the words ring in your ears wonderfully, feeling thankful for his help once again.

As he disappears into the guest bedroom, you run your hands down your face in disbelief.

Being thrown in a pool and called a bitch for rejecting guy was not your bucket list, ever.

Coming back with a hoodie and one of your sweatpants as well as socks, he sets them down next to you.

"Thank you kook" you mumble, looking to the floor in sheer embarrassment.

Jungkook had seen you in situations you didn't even know where possible.

"Don't worry. Im gonna get the hair dryer and make up wipes, just say something when you're done changing" his hands reach down to stroke your shoulders.

At this point you knew,

you knew that Jungkook had fully embraces you into his life.

The way his eyes look at you with no sign of the stern glare he still mingled with until now. The way his voice is rough but reassuring, the way his hands keep touching you in an effort to make up for the hurt on your face.

He locks himself in the bathroom, pulling out make up wipes from your cosmetic bag and gathering up the caple of the dryer while you sit on the couch, slowly changing your clothes into warm and dry ones.

Looking at himself in the mirror startled him.

Not even Jungkook could really recognize himself,

Sharp features of his reflection staring back at him with worry, asking himself if you felt okay on his couch right now.

"Done" you shout out, still choked up from the loud sobbing previously, throat itching slightly from the cold.

The door opens once again, walking to you before plugging in the dryer. He sits down, immediately looking at you.

"Here. Take your time okay?"

"Okay" your fingers reach to the wipes, erasing the traces of the ruined make up that you had put on beautifully hours prior.

A pathetic attempt to trust in people that had let you back down again,

Cruel world.

Turning own the dryer, you start combing through your hair softly, finally filling your freezing head with warmth.

Finally making your entire body as warm as the presence of Jungkook.

Silence returns to the room as the device turns off.

"Can i.. tell you about what happend?" wandering to gaze to his soften features, he nods, smiling briefly.

You take a deep breath before mustering up the courage to tell him about the party.

"Taehyung introduced me to this football player who tried to get me into drinking multiple times. He was shirtless and he was super provocative"

He continues listening as your voice becomes weaker.

"They decided to compete in drinking ten shots but Taehyung was already tipsy. And i- Fuck i told him not to. He didn't listen and at the like, 7th shot? He was gagging, stumbling to the bathroom"

You sigh, nervously recalling the events that felt so surreal now, your eyes finally moving to his. Catching him glint at you with nervousness himself.

"He fucking promised me not to leave me alone and- and and then he did and that asshole he-" by now tears are brimming back at your eyes, unable to let out the words in a straight line.

"He fucking touched me and when i told him to back off he called me a bitch and threw me into the pool. Everybody was laughing fuck, Jungkook people were recording it. It was so fucking- it was so"

You stop, aggressively wiping tears from your face, a scoff pained it's way to the surface,

"So humiliating. Even worse, Taehyung was making out with some chick when i managed to get out the pool" your voice is a bit more stable again, angry at the memory.

Resenment is a stronger emotion than sadness in this moment.

"Motherfucker. Both of them. Motherfuckers" Jungkooks eyes turned dark, glaring at the sound of what you went through.

You laugh a small laugh, "I know"

He inches closer to you,

"I'm gonna get them suspended. What was the friends name?" His expression is serious, determined of making them feel it.

You shake your head slowly,

"No don't- please don't go through all that effort okay? They won't make it long anyways"

He glares at you too now, before catching himself doing so, revoking it and replacing it with a neutral expression.

"Don't let them walk all over you. At least that football guy, im getting his scholarship revoked, what he did was assault. Please let me do this for you"

His voice is stern, he isn't asking.

And you knew he was right.

".. Jackson. Wang, i think"

He huffs, "He can kiss his degree goodbye. I'll find something to make em. Promise you. I might just strangle him myself if I'm being honest" he sighs, his hand rubbing his forehead in an effort to not snap and drive back to party.

A soft giggle can be heard inside the suffocating sphere of the living room.

He looks back up at you,

"What's so funny?" a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips,

You giggle again, focused on the way his lips look when trying to hold back a smile.

"You. Seeing you so worked up. I like it, makes me realize this friendship may not be that one sided after all"

He groans in response, leaning back against the couch and tilting his head to look back into your eyes,

"It took me carrying you to my car to make you understand that i care about you?"

Your heart jumping at the admission,

His eyes widen slightly as he hears himself admit to it, but he tries to conceal it.

Play it off like he isn´t surprised himself.

"Letting you live with me for damn near two weeks wasn't enough, huh?" His elbow digs into your side,

But you can't react, stuck on the fact that his teeth are lightly digging into the side of his lip, biting it softly.

Eyes wandering to his torso that is leaning back on his couch, his lap looking so inviting.

Only now noticing how close he is next to you.

It's his turn to chuckle now,

"Would pay to know what's in that pretty head of yours right now"

Another breath caught in your throat, eyes shooting back up to meet his,

They are ranking over you entirely,

Watching your every feature, studying you as if you were a piece of art in a gallery.

His flirty tone making it hard not to just risk it, crawl into his lap and tell him how you feel about his stupidly handsome face and his annoying way to care for you.

"Shut up, you're saying nonsense" your eyes roll to distract from the fact that you were caught red handed, shyly turning your face away from his form on the couch.

"Answer the question idiot. Did it seriously take this long for you to get it?" his voice is soft, sincerity laced beneath his words.

A long sigh makes it's way out of your mouth as you turn to take the same position that he's in, tilting your head to meet his eyes once more.

The moment is precious in a way, his face is so close you could count the moles on it, but just enough space not to loose any and all control.

"I'm not sure. I mean, i guess i knew you kinda cared, but, i think i mostly tried to gaslight myself into thinking you like me as a person and don't just see me as some sort of charity case" you laugh gently, keeping eye contact with him as you talk.

Although the words you're speaking are truthful, they aren't the full extent.

His heart clenches a bit when he thinks about it,

"Charity case? Fuck no, i mean" he pause, playing with his lip piercing,

"I guess it took me some time to get used to caring about someone else like this, living together and shit but i do like you. I find you annoying and obnoxious at times, and you still suck at photography, but i do like you, you're a good friend" his hand moves through his pretty, dark hair, trying his very best not to look down at your lips.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to hold back.

It was now, just now that he became aware too,

Aware that you weren't just a friend, roomate or a student to him,

That his feelings, his thoughts and urges weren't some sort of strange hormonal reaction.

Still, he hoped that saying it out loud would convince him that you are, indeed just a good friend.

He can´t help but notice how bothered he is by it.

You nod, almost disappointed at the way he ruined his lovely speech with three simple words.

a good friend.

"How nice of you.. thank you tho. No really, i, i appreciate you. You're.. a good friend too, Jungkook" you bite your lip softly, wishing for him to just move away or say something mean to lessen the tension.

He allows himself to look once,

Locking his eyes with your lips, noticing the small blush forming around your face.

It makes you look irresistible, naturally beautiful.

"You know I'm a liar, right? That i say a ton of things I don't actuallly mean?" his eyes are focused on your lips now, his voice almost breathless as he feels himself getting lost at the thought of you.

You scoff, chuckling softly right after,

"Absolutely, it's ridiculous, actually. But you know, i learned not to take every you say too seriously" your arm makes it's way to hit his chest playfully.

He laughs briefly, holding your wrist against his chest.

Eyes locked on your lips, just as he had feared they would.

You could practically feel your heart breaking out of your body,

Moving your palm to lay flat against his chest, you allow yourself to touch an inch of what you've been wanting to feel for so long.

"Well i just lied to you again. You're.. fuck. You're not just a friend"

The air in your lungs leaves you hanging completely, a breathless, thoughtless and emotion driven voice answering him

"I swear if you're playing with me right now I'm gonna-"

There was no time to finish your sentence,

In the blink of an eye, his hands are on your face, cupping it,

His soft, dreamy lips on your own.

There wasn't any time to process either as he pulls back briefly, just enough to whisper against your lips,

"You talk too much, and I'm not good with words"

As soon as the last letter leaves his lips, they are back on yours.

The way Jungkook kisses is as you had imagined, possessive and dominant, he needed to guide you.

Needed you to understand that he likes you,

Way more than just a friend.

Finally registering that he's actually kissing you, that this isn't one of your fanatsies, you kiss him back.

Your own lips moving softly against his, earning a small groan from him.

Melting into his kiss even further, the urge to hear his pretty sounds again overtaking you completely.

The strong hands that held your face in place move now, pulling you closer by your hips.

It makes you hum into the kiss,

Allowing him just enough space to lace his tongue in with yours,

Gently but firmly he keeps kissing you.

As infatuated with him as you are, you follow his every lead, moving in sync and savoring every single second.

Lips developing a mind of their own, Jungkook being the only thought.

By now, he is resting his large hands on your hips, shifting to pull you closer once again, sitting you on his lap,

One knee on either side of his hips, both your hands pressed firmly against his chest.

The way he pulled you to straddle him made you gasp lowly.

He smiles into the kiss, clearly affected by the way this conversation had gone,

By the way you react to his touches.

Naturally, your arms wrap around his neck, allowing your hips to rest on his, he hums in approval, gripping your hips and tightly and securing them in place for him.

Before you can wonder what all of this meant or where it was leading, he pulled back again, this time enough to get a full view of your flustered face.

At first, he doesn't say anything, making space for insecurity to creep up into your brain,

Apparently he can look into those too.

"To be clear. This means something to me. I'm not kissing you just because you looked fucking irresistible, but because i like you, i like you way more than I should. And if you don't, then you better tell me now"

Once again, his pretty face doesn't match his stern words, he's nervous.

You could tell by the way he licks his piercing, nibbling on the small metal ring.

If it was even more possible, your heart swelled with affection for him, desperate to tell him what you had felt for so long.

"I like you too. I like you way too much. Wasn't it obvious? I wanted this for so long"

Without wanting to waste any more time on things you could discuss later on, your head leans back down to kiss him.

He groans much softer this time, his hands ranking up to your sides, feeling them up slowly.

He needs to touch you, feel you, kiss you everywhere.

Just like he had imagined for long now, chopping it up to feeling touch starved.

But the words urge out of his mouth,

"I guess that means you're mine now" he mumbles against your lips in a sultry voice, the heat of the moment becoming far too much.

This wasn't just out of hormonal instincts, both of you could feel it.

A smile latches on to your lips, forcing you to stop kissing him for just a second

"Possessive, i see.. but i want to know much more about you first kook" your reply is sheepish, well aware that him calling you his was enough to turn your underwear see through.

He hums again, placing a hand on your cheek, stroking his thumb against it as his eyes move to your lips.

"I'll tell you everything you want later, let me keep kissing you first" his thumb drags down to your bottom lip, stroking it gently as his pretty brown eyes fixate back on your own ones, looking for resistance.

"Kiss me then" was all it took for him to close the gap once again.

Your arms unwrap around him, moving in anticipation when they reach the hem of his shirt.

You tug on it gently, asking for him to remove it.

He groans once more, "so eager" slips past his lips when he makes enough room to take the shirt off,

Revealing what must be the most beautifully, carefully carved person you have ever laid your eyes on.

His tattoos reach up to his shoulder, you've seen it before but it's even better when you get to touch them, carefully trace the lines with your finger tip.

His chest is firm, a broad set of shoulders that make his small and very well-defined abdomen look even more sinched.

The sight is truly breath taking, your hands caressing, touching everywhere they can.

He likes to think that it doesn't phase him, but the way his body shivers makes it undeniable.

"Done staring, doll?" he asks, the nickname sending a wave of pleasure straight through you as he tilts your face back up to look at his.

"Mhm.. you're just really hot" you can't help but giggle, finally being able to touch and kiss him, it makes you giddy.

Finally being able to utter out all your dirty thoughts, even if it embarrasses you.

He rolls his eyes, sneaking his hands teasingly under your hoodie, caressing the soft and bare skin of your stomach.

A low moan follows his movement, you attempt to kiss him but he smirkes, leaning his head back softly.

This time you whine, having already guessed that he's as much of a tease as he normally is too.

"You sound so desperate. Want me too take this off hm?"

You only muster up a small nod, in no time the hoodie is thrown somewhere, forgotten easily by the way his eyes sparkle when landing on your chest.

Roaming over your chest down to your hips, taking in every inch as his hands reach to grab them.

In one swift motion, you're tucked beneath him on the couch, his shirtless figure hovering over yours, veiny hands resting on your stomach, softly touching his way upwards.

"Just tell me to stop if you don't want anything" he's considered, gentle in the same way that he's demanding.

"Will do, but right now i really need you to continue"

He smiles, leaning down to kiss you again before moving to kiss down to your neck, softly burrying himself in it.

Hearing you moan and gasp was enough to make him lose his mind, make him want to give you absolutely everything you could ever ask for.

"Feels.. nice.." your hands play with his hair, holding the back of his head firmly against your neck.

He bites your neck in response, one of his hands moving to cup your chest in it, squeezing and groping firmly.

He keeps kissing, licking and gently sucking at your skin, trying to learn about every spot that made you moan a little louder.

Once he's satisfied with your neck, a short kiss is placed on your lips.

His head trails down to your chest, kissing from collarbone further south.

"You look even prettier than i imagined" he mutters against your skin, lips in the space between your breasts, kissing and sucking carefully.

"I-Imagined?" you manage to say between soft moans, to shy to let out what you really felt.

Your teeth biting down on your lip so hard it could have made an imprint.

He chuckles against your skin,

"Mhm.. many times doll, driving me insane with these pretty sounds, keep making noises" his voice is deep, underlined with desire.

"f-feels so good.." your whines filling is request instantly, feeling his lips wrapped around your breast as the other one is being gently cupped and squeezed, making you feel blissfully satisfied.

He switches sides after a couple more seconds, your eyes focused on his hand that looks so large compared to you.

However the sight of his bare and definitely well toned, broad back peeking out made you feral, needing to touch him too.

So you do, moving to wrap your arms under his, touching his back carefully as sinfully sweet noises come out of both your lips.

His lips move from your chest to your own, both of his hands groping your chest, moving and brushing over your spots carefully, hitting ever sensitivity.

He lets go of your chest just as he lets go of your lips, his hands making their way down to your waist, wrapping around and securing you in place.

Jungkook´s beautiful dark eyes can't seem to leave your body, licking his lips before planting gentle open mouth kisses down your stomach, nibbling at the skin every so slightly.

"Can i take this off?" his tattooed fingers playing with the hem of your pants, teasing and tugging beneath it with a sly smile on his face.

"Yes please" almost pathetically quiet you answer him, desperate for him to touch you, to make you see stars.

He nods, pulling down your pants to reveal white lacy panties beautifully placed over your core.

Jungkook doesn't like to waste time, so he moves his hands up and down your thighs while kissing your hip,

"So soft" purring against your skin, his lips move to kiss your thighs, hooking one arm gently under one leg, spreading them open. His kisses become more passionate which each one, kissing and nibbling the inside of your thighs,

Dangerously close to where you wanted him to be right now.

Your hand wraps around his soft curls once more, gently tugging, making him groan.

"Doing so well doll, i know you're desperate, so needy. Gonna give it to you yeah? Ask nicely" the way he sounds right now, raspy and gentle, the way he uses the nickname that rolls beautifully off of his tongue, it is enough to make you whimper.

Close to being speechless, you stammer out softly, needing him more than anything.

"Please kook.. touch me.. please eat me out, fuck this is so embarrassing" your hand untangles from his hair, both of them meeting to cover your face.

A small laugh can be heard before he moves his own hands up, prying yours from your face by your wrist.

He scans your face, your slightly parted lips inviting him to a kiss once more.

"Don't hide pretty, sound so good when you're this pathetic and desprate. Gonna give you just what you asked for"

He hooks his arm back under your thigh, the other one holding you by the knee. Letting his eyes wander down to your core for just a moment, he takes in the sight of your soaked underwear, basically transparent.

It made him twitch in his pants,

Knowing that he has just about the same effect on you as you do on him.

He presses a kiss your still covered clit, tongue poking out to lick over it, pressing the fabric to your skin.

It doesn't take long for him to move his tongue down to your entrance, licking slow stripes across and using the tip of his tongue to push the fabric into your slit a little bit.

It fills you with excitement and frustration,

"Please stop teasing me.. please" your whines are much louder now, annoyed that you're so close to finally feeling the relief you need.

Finally knowing how it feels to have him touch you.

He groans softly, quickly pulling the panties down to your ankles before latching on to suck on your clit.

The feeling is euphoric, nothing compares to seeing Jungkook's pretty face burried between your thighs, his lips wrapped around your clit as his tongue gently darts across it.

He moves his tongue down, caressing your thighs with his hands, tasting every drop of arousal spilling out from you.

His body is filled with the need to feel your every reaction, touch where ever he can reach.

The tip of his tongue pushing into your hole ever so slightly, before moving to lick back up to your clit.

Ever since he started you haven't stopped moaning, softly rambling about how good he feels.

"Look so pretty.. fuck it feels so- so good.." your voice trails off into a whimper, the knot in your stomach tightening with each lick, his soft groans only intensifying the pleasure.

Helplessly your hips buck into his face,

he takes it gladly, humming in approval.

"You'll take a finger won't you doll?" he says as his pointer finger is already circling your entrance, ghosting over it.

As a response, your hips buck up again slightly, moving both hands to grab his shoulders, nodding furiously at his question.

"Words. Will you take it?´´ he repeats, his tongue returning back to licking your folds once he finished speaking.

"Yes, yes, yes will take it"

"Good, very good" he pushes his single digit in without any further warning, sinking in until his knuckle stops him, immediately pumping in an out.

"So fucking small doll, only my finger and you´re suffocating it, so greedy" the vibration of his low purring only supporting your approaching orgasm.

For a moment Jungkook allows himself to look at you, face fucked out completely, eyes weakly staring down at him,

Your mouth opened softly as gasps and whines leave your mouth.

It keeps him going to see you enjoy it, his finger speeding up as his licks become more firm.

The pleasure built up fast from that point, feeling like you would snap and come on his tongue and finger at any moment, clenching around it.

He moans softly on your skin when he feels it,

"Close? Are you gonna coat my finger with your cum pretty?"

"Jungkook- fuck yes, close. God, the way you talk is driving me insane" your legs pick up shaking again, fingers digging into his shoulders when your whole body shudders against him.

His voice, his hands, lips, face burried between your thighs, it all creats a beautiful picture, unforgettable.

"Come on doll, give it to me, let me taste it" his lips move to wrap around your clit,

Which is all that you needed to come undone under his touch, shaking and whimpering loudly.

He slowly retracts his mouth, stroking your thighs and gently moving his fingers to let you ride out the high, before removing it completely as you still pant from the pleasure.

Naked and slightly bruised chest moving heavily, clit swollen and throbbing.

He places a small kiss against your hip,

"Did so well, sounded so fucking pretty, taste so sweet"

You look at him wide eyed as he licks his finger clean, clearly enjoying every drop of your release he could get.

His hand reach down to your ankles, pulling your panties back up and kissing your newly covered clit one last time.

"Come here, calm down yeah? You on earth doll?" he chuckles in a cocky and low tone, pulling himself up next to you and placing a kiss on to your forehead.

The absolute aftershock and realization hitting you, immediately blushing the darkest shade of red and hiding against his chest.

"Oh.. my..god. what the fuck just.." mumbling against his chest he strokes your back and hair softly. A small effort to reassure you.

"No don't. Don't say it. I know what happened but.. i mean.. what.." you continue, not knowing how to act know, not knowing what to say.

Asking yourself if that meant you were his now, like he had said before.

"Well, you tell me. I said you're mine, you're the one wanting to know things" he puts one hand under your chin, lifting your face to his and pressing a kiss to your lips.

Although his eyes look neutral, his kiss is filled with care.

You smile against his lips,

"Fuck whatever i said, i can learn while being yours, if the offer still stands"

He scoffs, flicking your forehead once he pulls away from the kiss

"You're an idiot. Of course it does"

It was hard not to giggle when he's being so stupid after giving you the best orgasm of your life.

It's your turn to kiss him now, placing a small peck to his cheek and another one to his jaw.

His lips curve into a softy smile, "Come on, let's go to bed hm?"

Your head tilts at his suggestion, knowing full well that he's fully errect,

You can feel him pressed against you after all.

"But.. what about you?" he strokes your hair before holding your cheek in his palm, a cheeky grin on his lips.

"Don't worry, i don't really care for that right now, besides I don't want to tire out miss virgin Mary hm?" his hand moves down to your chin, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and remaining fingers.

Instead of reacting, your entire body freezes, looking at him with an expressionless face.

"What? Think i couldn't tell? Come on, you were a mess from kissing, so tight around only a single finger doll. Not that hard to miss" he chuckles, kissing your forehead another time, all the while you wish you could disintegrate into the ground.

Sure, it might have been easy to tell, but did have to keep teasing?

"Oh my god you're unbelievable. Do you.. uh, mind that i didn't say anything?"

His hand moves to grab your hoodie that was surprisingly not far gone, tapping your arms to signal you to lift them up,

"No, i don´t. I get it, i mean, I'm not that experienced either and at my age that is kind of embarrassing to admit as well" he speaks carefully while slipping the hoodie back over you, moving some strands of hair out of your face.

You nod, smiling at his delicate gesture.

"I see, you're sure that you're okay?"

He rolls his eyes,

"Yes, I'm sure. Come on, let's go to bed, I´m tired, i know you´re too" he shifts, picking up his tossed shirt and your pants only to throw them on the couch when he stands up.

You´re still sitting, eyes moving down to the very visible bulge in his pants, straining them in a sexy and arousing way.

He snorts, waving a hand in front of your face before he grabs yours, pulling you up and leading you to his bedroom.

"Kook?" you ask him, a million questions running through your mind at once.

Everything that happened after the intimacy is so normal, almost thoughtlessly routine.

His presence being so comforting and complete to you, you did not even need to ask why you should sleep next to him, or if it was okay to do so.

"Yes?" he answers, pulling the covers on his bed back and stepping closer to hold you by your waist and staring you down,

A look of admiration on his face, his eyes practically screaming the words I love you

"So.. we.. uhm.. this is official now?" was somehow the only condensed version of all the thoughts you could gather together.

He smiles, lifting you briefly to lay you on his bed, climbing in to lay beside you, his hand immediately finding your face again.

"What does it look like? How many times do you need me to confess? Damn, im starting to think doll, that this gets you off" he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his warm body.

Your feelings for him intensifying in that very second,

"No, but i do get off on that nickname. And the way you're so touchy. Kinda cute" you scrunch your nose up, putting your arms on his body as well.

"Shut up. Sleep well yeah?" he says, tucking your head under his to stop you from seeing the shyness spread across his cheeks, accompanied by the smile visible in his voice.

"Sleep well, kook. but.."

"Oh my god what is it?" he groans, squeezing your body to show off his annoyance.

You giggle softly,

"Thank you. For saving my ass today and uh.. for, you know" the last words leave your mouth in a stuttered manner, too shy to speak out what you are referring to.

He scoffs playfully, "21 and can't say the word orgasm. Whatever, get used to it doll, gonna take care of you from now on"

Knowing it didn't matter how annoyed he was, nothing could take away the fact that you're falling asleep in his arms this very second.

It made both of your hearts melt.

#jeon jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #redcherrykook #jungkook bts #bts fic

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ravengards-rogue · 8 months

Text

[ cage training | astarion ancunin ]

✧ tags : muzzles, bdsm, sub!astarion, gender neutral + dom!reader, reader is strong (offers to carry him), dirty talk, orgasm control, feeding (?), cutting (for blood), anal (m!recieving), service dom reader, petnames (my star for astarion) a lot of alluding to hunger, more erotica than smut but 18+

✧ wc : 4.8k (what if all just kill ourselves)

✧ a/n : i dont even like this guy like this im just mentally ill about submissive men. also this is a very "read whats on the tin and make good choices" sort of fic.. i know this kind of play might be controversial for beloved white boy but they have a very loving dynamic Okay. Alright. its about Love.

ALSO. this is ASTARION FOCUSED. so reader doesn't cum (though astarion makes up for it as implied)

this is a fluke fic i cannot recommend following me for this guy!!!written mostly for a friend. had a lot of fun with this though!!!

✧ synopsis : astarion relearns manners and discipline. he's rewarded for his valiant efforts.

He comes to you wounded. Save from the scar on the curve of his spine, it's not a physical wound.

Astarion approached you like a caged lion, a circus animal - a predator paraded like a house cat who has only just remembered his teeth. That's why your empathy extended to his greed even when it caused him to wear the worst of himself. You don't think Astarion has ever understood the fact that he's hungry. He's always hungry.

He inhabits a body pushed to failure. His hunger cues are almost as ruined as he.

Like an animal in captivity, every choice he might've had to make slipped between his fingers for many years. How to live, how to hunt. Hunger is the hardest to remember, though it leaves the longest impression. It's a condition of a wounded mind. He had long since forgotten a body that knows a need stronger than staying alive.

He always waited for the violent gnawing to set in, the kind that can be ignored until it can't.

And so, his hunger became his ruin, became his new captor. Astarion met you in the midst of that delirium the first time

Once you let a captive predator free, you've damned it. A caged lion cannot become uncaged. Survival instinct has all but degraded to nothing, leaving only a wounded animal in its place.

You must nurse it to health. Care for it as it renavigates the world.

Curb its hunger when it threatens to wreak havoc.

Sanctuary. Regiment. Retraining.

It's easy enough to discern what he needs. All tender with wounds that need to be licked.

The muzzle is fitted. A gesture of glimmering gold adoration among the steely black of whips and chains.

Astarion is beautiful. Tenfold on his knees.

The leather straps pull back slight against his skin, three in total clipped together at the back of his skull. The thickest strap flattens sweet white curls, thinner ones curved around his ears and jaw.

The structured leather cage, reinforced with metal, rests over his nose and mouth. It fits better than you could've hoped. There's a collar around his neck to match it, with a weighted chain in your hand. He's looking up at you with a softened gaze, ruby red and lidded. Needy.

The velvet of the loveseat dips comfortably under your weight as you sit. Astarion stays where he is. He's as pleasant as he's capable of being, hopeful as he scoots in closer to you.

He succeeds in acting cute, naturally talented in the art of being appealing. He scoots himself close to your legs and positions himself to rest his chin on the edge of your knee.

You meet his eyes amused. You let your hand brush along the pointed shell of his ear. Little goosebumps form in the wake of your touch.

"You should know better by now that those sorts of tricks don't work on me, hm?"

He huffs. "Well that's not true. They usually do work on you. Rather well, I would say."

You pause, taken aback, before relenting with a laugh His pout endears you. You let your eyes narrow a bit in knowing.

"Not like this though. You know that very well."

His frown deepens. You really do adore him. He taps his forehead against your leg as you bite back a smile, his muzzle making the touch briefer than he'd prefer.

"Gods. Of course I know but this, this is torture, darling."

Pleasant and noncommittal, your hand cups his nape. You pet him wherever you can reach, his head before slipping along his shoulder and against your lap. You settle at his back, tracing over raised scars.

A sorrowful hum leaves your lips. Neither of you believe it.

"Torture? Perhaps I've gotten too soft if this is torture."

"Oh you're so awful," He huffs, biting his tongue and choosing to rest against your leg in frustration for a while longer. "Sure, fine - torture is too perfunctory. But it's been terribly difficult! Where is your sympathy."

"What's difficult, Astarion?"

You're being cheeky asking him. After all your rules have been clear and reinforced well for the two tendays that have passed. You've been working hard on reteaching him patience. He used to be so patient, back when you were exploring and unsettled but you've let him take too much and now he'll interrupt you at any moment just to get what he needs.

(Astarion leans on you for guidance. Of course, he has himself - has his freedom that he took with bloodied hands and a broken heart. There’s many choices that he’s able to make for himself, some of them he can’t explain even to you. Whatever they are, they’re his to make and yours to support.

It’s different though. Not having a choice, and someone making choices for him out of something inscrutable. You don’t bed Astarion until you fulfill the promise of killing his master. More accurately, you don’t lay so much as a hand on him. Only intimate, sparse touches. Only love. Only patience.

You’re disinterested in only having his body. His heart, and his mind, and his very soul - all of it. You want to grasp them so firmly and never let go. The chains and leashing and discipline are testament to what you want most of Astarion - and that’s all of him. You want to enrich him in every conceivable way. Astarion deserves the granular finery of thoughtful guidance more than anyone. He's brighter when he feels special, after all.

You’ve broken down the walls between you with a closed fist for this purpose - a not so quiet ask to love him by opening your hand. He’s given you the honor to let you think and act for him so he doesn’t have too. Duty binds you to reteaching him virtue.

It's a privilege to think for him. To wipe his bloodied mouth and care for his appearance prim and his mind sharp. No longer a matted beast but a loved, loved little vampire in the crook of your arms

You’re not strict to no end. You'd rip the Astral Planes apart in search of what he desires, should he ask it of you, after all.

Only the best for your immortal love. )

His neediness makes him more misbehaving. He’s been scaring away anyone who looks at you too long for business and otherwise, unable to keep his hand away from between your legs or his head in your lap.

"Not letting me drink your blood for two tendays is unreasonable enough but on top of that," He's exasperated just explaining the dilemma to you. His muzzle is cool against your pant leg. "On top of that I'm not even allowed any relief. Despite all of your cruelty, you wicked thing. I never took you for such a sadist."

He scoffs. There's poorly masked lust in the last sentence. You stop yourself from smiling.

"Sadist? Really? I don't see it that way. Seeing you act so desperately all this time and keeping my hands neat at my sides... I'm a paragon of patience." You pull on the leash in your hand but don't pull him forward - though you tighten your grip. "It's…good to lead by example."

Excitement flashes over his face in a short burst. It's so brilliant you swear his eyes look white instead of red.

"You cheeky little—" He huffs at you. You smile warmly as he starts to curl in on himself. He already knows how to get himself what he wants.

He gives up on pretenses. Briefly, just to beg, a monumentally hard thing. "Please. I can't take a minute more of this."

There's a croak to his voice. He has a hard time covering its tracks, even with his propensity for theatrics.

His throat is so thick with want. Something ripping at the seams of him and begging to be released.

"You've done well if it helps, but" You praise. He preens. Instantly. He squirms and wiggles around but doesn't move much more than that. "You act like I don't feed you."

"It is not the same, my love. You're well aware."

You ignore him.

"I even bring you human blood, don't I?" You tease, and his frustration darkens him. "I brought a beautiful and fresh body to drain just yesterday."

"Yes but," His hands turn to tight fists. He isn't sure what he wants to do with himself. You pet him a little more. "It's not the same, damn it. I want yours. Just yours. Just you,"

He adds the last bit quieter than the rest. Your expression is unchanged and cool though your heart might give you away with how hard it pounds.

"Just mine?" You tease. tugging at this leash a little. He makes a face like he's infuriated, a poor mask for embarrassment that endears you even more."Is that flattery?"

You're being a little mean this time. You'll make it up to him. He almost panics before he realizes just that.

"Gods you're insufferable," He complains with no bite. He's hoping for mercy you truly have no desire to give him. "You know that it's not."

"You speak so beautifully it sounds like it. Such sweet little noises you can make."

You let the heel of your boot press along Astarion's crotch. He makes one for you, involuntary - skin pink and sinful.

"See? How pretty."

Astarion is easy to bring to ruin as is. His own snark and disobedience is a poor disguise for that truth. A little tenderness and honesty makes him fall apart. Flirting back with Astarion goads him, though. Fuels his desire to win one over you. If you meet his cheekiness with more cheekiness, he won't relent at all.

Normally that kind of response would make him nip at you. It speaks to his desperation that it doesn't. That instead of making his own snarky remark, he tenses. A deep, shaky little breath. You could tip him over the edge through his clothes at this rate.

You're not so cruel. Not for today, at least.

"Sit up straight."

He does so without protest. You place a hand on his shoulder, the other one tight around the chain of his leash. Carefully, you drag your sharp nails down the front of his chest - leaving light pinkish marks on the pale skin. Over and over and over in light drags. His chest raises under the gesture, your nails scratching soft against his nipples.

"Hng," His voice is feather light. He's trembling at the slightest touch. His spine arches like he's trying to get more friction. "Don't you think you've proven your point?"

You let your palm drag down the smooth plane of his stomach, stopping at his pants. His cock twitches hard against the seam of his pants. You let a finger pull into the waistband, but don't go any farther.

"Not sure," You let the leash drop into your lap. You threaten to pull them down, but don't. Expression blank, you tilt your head to one side. "Have you learned your lesson?"

"My lesson," He repeats sarcastically. You feign innocence as you nod. "Really, darling?"

"I'm not so much of a tyrant," You let go, letting your hand cup the outline of his hard cock. "To torture you without reason, right? So what have we practiced?"

He stares. It must really be getting to him. "Patience."

"Yes. I ask you to be patient. Never kind, but patient. Because I'll give you anything you ask for if you wait. Things are better when you wait for them, right?"

He frowns in annoyance and disbelief. He's exasperated, rightfully - because you are messing with him. Just a little. "Right."

You squeeze his cock tighter. He hisses immediately, grinding into the touch. You blow hot air against his ticklish skin, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"So, have you learned your lesson?"

Your grip goes tight. Astarion craves the touch so badly. You doubt he's ever gone so long without anything at all - if the desperation he's rutting his hips with is anything to go by. His head drops heavy from his shoulders, his hands on the edge of the couch gripping for his life. Manicured nails digging into the cushion like it will save him. His voice is weary.

"Y-," He shudders but you don't let go. "Yes, I'm very sure I have."

"Oh, you're sure."

You enjoy bullying him. At a certain point, it bares itself out against all your own evading. Astarion knows it well enough, though normally it's through less truly intolerable means. Keeping him inside you soft or scraping orgasms one after another until he's too stupid too talk are favored between you.

Astarion likes being given a hard time, in general though. You're made for each other.

"Pretty little thing aren't you, my love?" You tell him, suddenly warmed. You miss the tadpole sometimes. If you could touch his mind right now, you would. Violate his thoughts with your own wants. You settle for a long stare. "So sweet,"

The anticipation makes his breath hitch. He goes completely limp in your grasp, weak and desperate. The weight of it all cracks and he looks up. His eyes glass over.

He shatters under his own need. "For the love of—please. I c-cant, I need to-"

"Shh." You quell him with a tender pet to his head. "You're looking at me so pitifully. Is it starting to be too much?"

He just nods. Your smile widens.

"You've been very patient for these two tendays, haven't you?" You lay it on thick. This is the part you like. You watch as Astarion goes boneless, the words reaching so deep into him he can do little more than collapse himself into your lap. You release all grips of him and let him hold against you soothingly, cling to your legs. "A very, very good boy for all this time. You're quite capable of it when you need to be, aren't you?"

He doesn't reply, but you can feel him melt into you further. For a minute you think you've broken him until you hear him mutter the softest yes you've ever heard.

(Astarion is not so easy to break, of course. And not so keen on opening up the softened wells of his heart to any stranger.

But he does break for you, and gods haven't you worked hard for that? It's a testament to all you've poured into him. Like you know all the right buttons to split him open tenderly.

And he lets you look. Touch and feel and cover your fingers with blood. He trusts you to stitch him closed.)

"Yes, that's right. You've learned your lesson now, and you're going to be proper and well-behaved because that's what good boys do. And Astarion is a very good boy. My very, very good boy."

He picks his head to look at you properly. He's darling. His face is flush, mouth turned into a soft pout and utterly, utterly desperate. His mouth is bitten, indented holes in soft lips.

"Yes, I'm. Please. I want you to touch me."

You aren't sure what you want to start with. He's being needy and you could almost feel guilty.

You pick up something from your side. A dagger from your days of travel. You unsheath it quickly, and let the blade cut along the tip of your middle finger. The blood comes quickly after, ruby red and thick.

Astarion goes wide eyed. He’s hungry, so hungry - like he always is. But there’s something defeated in the ways he hesitates that make you relish. You push your finger through the cage of his muzzle and tilt your head. There’s mirth in your eyes.

“Go on,” You say, tease, mock maybe. “Eat.”

He abandons restraint. All of it. You don’t make him work more for it. You push your finger down close enough for his mouth to lick at your wound and let your hand rest on the cage. He can’t get what he’s craving like this. The bone deep sensation starts to claw at him, a soft whimper tucked in the back of his throat.

More. He wants more. Of course he wants more.

“You look drunk.” You say, and there’s sharpness to your words. The ways in which Astarion is erotic have nothing to do with his theatrics. He is appealing when he’s giving up on everything but what he wants, always has been. “Have you missed it that much?”

“Yes.” He supplements, letting his tongue run over “More.”

You pull your hand away. “Take your clothes off.”

You watch Astarion scramble to stand. You bring your dagger with you then reach over to the table beside you. Scented oils roll around in the drawer. You’re careful with the blade as you fish out a bottle of it, taking it in your hands. Astarion stands naked, the heavy chain of his leash brushing against his skin.

“Kneel and lean on the couch, my love.”

Astarion is the picture of obedience. He leans on his elbows on the couch seats, with his legs spread apart, leash in a pool next to him as he folds his arms and tucks his face. You stand on your knees behind him, admiring his back in the lowlights.

Your hands rest on his thighs as you kiss up his spine. Small, short kisses all the way until you’ve reached the back of his neck. Your lips brush his nape, nose nudging against the metal of his muzzle.

Something overwhelms you. Addicting, euphoric as your clothed body drapes around Astarion, free hand on his waist - moving up his stomach to toy with his nipples. It thrums through you, listening to the ragged anticipation and distraught way he moves. Against you, against everything. Aching for touch.

You feel it overwhelmingly as you close in on his ear. Astarion huffs, long panting breaths. He needs this.

“Look at how naturally you yield to me now,” You all be coo. Astarion groans. Shuddering, your hand slides around his narrow waist and wraps a fist around his cock. He gasps. “You’ve become so pliable, so needy. But you know my star, I quite like when you’re needy.”

He hiccups and shivers and whines. “You’re the prettiest when you behave like the sweet little thing you can be, like I know you are. When you listen and yield and let me adore you in all the right ways. Such a sweet boy you can be, if only you let yourself.”

“Darling,” His voice cracks. There’s a helpless quality to it. A little more, that’s all you need. “I — you —”

You pull back and straighten your voice out, taking off Astarions muzzle after the valiant efforts he’s been making to wear it. It falls onto the couch unceremoniously.

“I’m saying, well done Astarion. I’ll reward you for all that effort. I’ll slash another scar in my hand for you to drink from and then again in the evening when I’ve recovered,” You lean back on your legs as you make promises on your own words. “I’ll bleed for you until you’ve sated yourself and let you get drunk on it. Then, when you’re malleable, I’ll fuck you. Again and again and again until you’ve all but forgotten yourself. All but forgotten who exactly you behave for.”

You open the oil and let it drip onto his back, watching mesmerized as it slips against every curve and crevice. When there’s enough to make opening him up easy, you stop and reach for your dagger.

The weapon slashes over the same wound. You’ve done this tens of times now. You don’t let the scars heal with a potion or some kind of spell. Astarion is far from the comfort of romance, but it is its own promise. Your scar is his.

The pain is brief, but it’s enough to feel it. You don’t flinch, though. When the blood finally seeps from it, you find yourself over Astarions back once again.

You let your bleeding palms clamp over his mouth. It’s as close to sacred as you can forge between you. Astarion moans. It is shameless. Pitchy, high with want and utterly broken. He laps at the blood like a dog, his tongue sharp against the familiar wound. You can feel his body twitch beneath you, the muffled sounds of his voice.

There is no performance in that kind of pleasure, but the amount of arousal that spikes Astarion’s whole body never fails to surprise you.

When he’s feeding from you, you busy your other hand with fucking him open on your fingers. Your dominant hand slips down the smooth curve of his spine, oiled skin soft and cool under your palms. He’s built like a dancer, beautiful curves. He’s a little softer now that he eats well. It looks good on him.

You let your middle finger brush over his hole, relishing in the soft gasp he lets out as you do. Astarion’s aroused enough to accommodate you as you circle it. The tight ring of muscle is familiar, and welcoming to your touch. You don’t need to teach Astarion to breathe, don’t need to remind him of it. You can feel his whole body push along your hands as if urging you towards him. You’re too delicate about the matter for his time.

Astarion is warmer inside than he is out. It fascinates you, makes your own stomach churn with want as your middle finger curves slowly. You pump in short motions until the resistance is all but gone. When you’ve made it as far as the knuckle of your middle finger, you start to search. You curl and press yourself against soft insides, search and search for what you’re looking for.

Astarion lurches forward when you find it. The most pitiful little moan you’ve ever heard squeaks out from his lips, against your hand.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Right there?”

Astarion makes noncommittal noises as you repeat the process again. Another finger, your ringer - spreading him open. Tight hole giving into your touch, filling him. Your mouth kisses the skin that you can reach. You peck and bite along the curve of his shoulders and all over his back as your ring finger penetrates him. His insides soften as you find your pace.

You see his hands start to fidget, but you chide him before he can do it.

“Not yet. You can touch yourself when I tell you too. Not before.”

Astarion needs more than this. You’ll give it to him, but patience is the virtue here.

You don’t know how long that’s going to stick though. The way Astarion is shaking underneath doesn’t give you confidence he’s going to hold out long enough for you to take him apart like you want. You’ll give him something proper later, when he’s not so pent you think the slight brush of skin could make him cum.

You do, desperately, want to see Astarion cum. But it has to be done the right way, or everything would go to waste in a single moment. You fuck him open on your fingers with a pinpoint pressure and accuracy, gauging his every move with the little gestures of his body. You know perfectly, know every inch of him inside and out like a book you’ve read page to page with the corners turned. The way he sways, lays intimately on the edge of cumming but never quite pushing himself over the finish line, speaks to that.

That, and the way he licks the blood from your palm like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted in his life. You can feel it, how messy it is - lapping at the split wound. Sharp unruly teeth digging into your skin, the soft breath of his nose tickling your hand as you cup his mouth. He licks so fervently, like it’s mouthwatering enough to die for.

It doesn’t help the arousal between your legs. It’d be damning for him to know how affected you are by this. By him.

“My beautiful boy,” Your voice is thick with desire. You can’t help yourself, the low possession laced it in. “Fucking perfect,”

“My love,” The words muffle against your palm. You move your hand away to let him speak and his face moves instinctually to bury himself back in it. “P-please. Let me touch myself, it aches,”

You weigh it for a minute, watching his body lurch forward as you fingerfuck him. You make a noise in the back of your throat, dropping your forehead against his spine - adrenaline making sweat drip down the crown of your head.

“Poor thing. Aches does it? Touch yourself for me, Astarion. I want to see you make a mess.”

He groans, hands moving immediately to fist his cock. You can hear it, the sound of him fucking his own fist like a wet, welcoming hole - cock wet and dripping with prespend. Astarions whole body starts to fall limp. His face pushed into the seat, little wet sobs spilling from his lips as he swears over and over.

It doesn’t take any time for his body to give into the feeling of being pleasured from all angles. You feel his face nudge against your hand for blood as his muscles start to go tighter and tighter.

“Shit,” He huffs, pushing himself back into your hands. “I’m going to cum.”

You keep your other hand in place, pace steady.

“Cum for me, baby. That’s it, easy does it.”

It happens so quickly you’re not sure if you should be impressed or if you should laugh affectionately. You can feel it, the way his hips stutter to a stop, his whole body grinding against you and holding tight to whatever he can cling to for purchase. His body weakens under the weight of your own, going completely tight like a bowstring before falling utterly helpless. Astarion moans loud when he cums, thick white ropes of it dressing the upholstery of the couch and falling to the floor. It’s an impressive amount. Save for what lands on the velvet, it pools thick and heavy. There’s so much, it’s like he can’t stop cumming. At least a minute passes before the twitching ceases.

He lays there, ragged and weightless and limp. You take your hand away from his mouth and slowly ease yourself out of him as he stays and catches his breath. You press soft, warm pecks up his spine.

You move away from him to give him some space to breathe, sitting back criss-cross on the ground. Astarion has no intention of getting up on his own, though. Before you can make sense of it, he crawls over to you. He must be worn out, given how willingly he’s coming into your arms in pure exhaustion. His cock is spent, soft against his belly and pink. He’s still naked and leashed.

Still needy, but the lust has subsided if only a little. Astarion seats himself between your open legs. You laugh lightly, letting him rest in your side - face in the crook of your neck in utter exhaustion.

“Hero of Baldurs Gate this, savior of the city that. I know evil when I see it, darling. Just outright cruel.”

You break out into a laugh at the change in behavior as he pulls away to look at you. His eyes are remarkably watery.

“That claim is undermined by that mess you’ve made on the floor there. Did you enjoy yourself?”

He almost looks embarrassed by it, a pinkish tint turning the tips of his ears bright.

“You’ve given me two terrible choices. I say yes and you think it’s a clever idea to do it again or I say no and I never experience whatever that was again in my life. A lose-lose situation.”

“So you did enjoy it,” You say warmly. Astarion scoffs but doesn’t protest. “I’m glad. You’re very attractive when you’re pitiful.”

“What despicable taste. I’m beautiful irregardless.”

You let your head bump against his, and Astarion half-heartedly returns the gesture. “That’s true. A sight for sore eyes as they say.”

“If you’re true to your word then I’ve earned a little more than just one,” Astarion purrs. Before that, he examines your (still bleeding hand) and picks your palm up to kiss. You grin wildy at his tongue lapping over the wound. “And you’re properly pent up, aren’t you? Let's get this cleaned up and let the real fun begin.”

“Aren’t you insatiable today? As you wish, my prince. We can move upstairs.”

He bemoans this. “You’ll have to drag my undead body up there if you’re asking me to get on my own two feet.”

“Or I could carry you like a bride.”

“A bride? How ostentatious. I’ll allow it.” Astarion says, then adds more quietly. “But we can stay… here a little longer first.”

You hum against his skin, peppering his face with soft kisses; he doesn't turn you away from the skinship, which you’re pleased by. “Of course my love,”

He lays in your arms quietly and the thought reaffirms itself. You’d do anything for him.

✧ a/n : no one is more upset by the length of this than me. trust and believe this. also sorry for the yapping i just... posting this is so foreboding. it feels like that picture of spongebob who puts his hands up so a car doesn't fall on him. i am Afraid.

maybe ill write a part two of him eating box or something. we'll see. anyway thanks for reading </3. please do rb if you enjoyed. so scared to be in the tags for this.

#rogues love letters #bg3 x reader #astarion x reader #astarion smut #bg3 smut #baldurs gate x reader #what other tags..idk..#this fucking thing cooked me to death i hate this guy BOOO throws tomatoes at him #zeros.dr #sub astarion

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honey-crypt · 3 months

Note

can you do some headcanon drabbles thingies with a farmer that has BPD? Bachelors please

a/n: yippee i get to write about bpd!!! fun fact but i was diagnosed with it for about two years (it ended up being a misdiagnosis) and i did a ted talk (like a legit one lol) about it and the criminalization/demonization of personality and other "undesirable" disorders :3 thx for this request and enjoy!

warning: discussion of bpd splitting, mental health crisis, and self-harm

★ sdv bachelors with bpd!farmer ★

alex

★ seeing you split for the first time is the catalyst for him to address his own issues, such as dealing with his father's abuse; to an extent, he can see himself in you, longing for approval and love from others, only to fall apart when others don't provide that

★ a very good listener, he opens his ears and mind to you to talk about what's on your mind and you do the same for him; it's very helpful and therapeutic for the both of you

★ does his best to keep you away from george, he worries that his grandfather's behavior would trigger an episode in you but he couldn't keep you away from him forever; it does cause an episode but with evelyn's help, alex manages to get george on his best behavior around you

elliott

★ often writes you letters of reassurance and love for you to read whenever you're having an episode, it's his way of supporting you through your hard times

★ he attends workshops to learn methods to assist you with bpd episodes and symptoms after harvey recommended it to him when he confided in him about his concern for your wellbeing

★ adds a small piece of candy, such as a starburst or skittle, in your pill box so you have a little reward/pick-me-up when you take your medication

harvey

★ out of all the bachelors, he's the best equipped to support you during your episodes (he did a psych rotation during his residency) but he tries his best not to go doctor mode on you

★ covers your farmhouse with sticky notes that feature medication reminders, words of affirmation, and so on; you save each and every one of them in a little scrapbook that you look back on for reassurance

★ harvey makes you feel safe, you're truly able to trust him and confide in him; you both make it work and even though others are critical of your relationship, either of you really give a damn because you love one another

sam

★ he's familiar with mental health conditions because of his father's ptsd and in the beginning of your romantic relationship, he kinda isolates himself from you when you're splitting because he genuinely doesn't know how to help

★ but thankfully, he learns how to support you with harvey's education on bpd, such as grounding you with music or encouraging you to socialize with others

★ he enjoys writing and playing you songs as a means of grounding, you're his inspiration and he wants to brighten your world with the power of music

sebastian

★ he goes into research mode after you inform him that you have bpd, he knows that personality disorders are heavily stigmatized and he doesn't want you to feel like he thinks you're a bad person for having bpd

★ does dbt (dialectical behavioral therapy) homework with you when you come home from group (group therapy); it helps him just as much as it helps you, he learns a lot of coping techniques that he utilizes when he has to deal with hardships or shitty people like demetrius

★ gets you an enamel pin for every month you remain clear from self-harm, you have an ita bag that you secure every pin on and it's one of your most treasured possessions

shane

★ a match made in hell... JK JK you two have the potential to bring out the best or worst in one another, depending on your relationship and whether or not you both are in therapy

★ if you're friends, you're able to support one another through bpd or depressive episodes, you both are different sides of a very similar coin and your empathy for one another transcends the boundaries of your typical friendship

★ but if you're dating or married?? i'm sorry but it's not gonna work out well unless both of you are consistent with your meds and therapy; you often get paranoid about your relationship with shane and it only intensifies during his 14 heart event where you and marnie think he relapsed with his drinking, causing you to split... luckily, it works out in the end but you still struggle with coping and trusting shane

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fatkish · 6 months

Note

I would love to hear more about how Hawks and Endeavor take care of the Phoenix child and how Aizawa would react if the Phoenix child is placed in his class.

-🦦

Hawks and endeavor x phoenix child reader

When Enji first brought reader home, Shoto and Natsuo were extremely cold and rejected reader, Fuyumi was somewhat welcoming?

When shoto learned that Enji plans to train the reader due to their powerful quirk, he immediately became protective of the reader, and tried to warn them

When shoto confronted the reader about Enji’s training, the reader revealed that they need the strict guiding from endeavor and revealed their past to shoto, as well as their burns from their quirk

Shoto, and reader, with Enji’s approval, begin to train together, reader flies around and destroys shoto’s ice, and Enji and Hawks both make recommendations so that both reader and Shoto are placed in the recommendation exam.

Reader and Shoto are the same age and act like siblings. Reader tries to help Shoto see that Enji clearly has no idea what he’s doing in regards to parenting but that he’s trying.

Reader has a tendency to space off which is when Shoto will redirect their attention and helps them study.

Reader, secretly acts as a spy for Enji, they give him advice for things that Shoto should learn like, hand to hand combat, weapon usage, first aid, etc. since Shoto won’t listen to Enji himself, reader helps by suggesting things to Shoto, that they then study and learn together

Reader has a fear of cats to which Aizawa helps them get over by bringing them to a cat café. Things go well until a cat bites reader, and they begin to cry, jumping into Aizawa‘s arms, telling him that the cat wants to eat them. Aizawa uses the reader’s fear of cats to ‘motivate’ them. The reader is also very wary of the pussycats during the training camp

When reader isn’t in class, one day, shoto explains that the reader is currently nesting and is broody since they’ll be laying an egg. Aizawa has to take a moment to remember that the reader is nonbinary, and realizes that Todoroki wasn’t joking about the reader laying eggs. Hawks isn’t allowed near them when they’re broody and nesting

Hawks tends to act like a fun Uncle to the reader or an older sibling. Every time reader has a birthday on a school day, Hawks takes his lunch hour and spends it with the reader having lunch with them. The HPSC were originally upset about this but upon seeing his fan’s reaction to him being a good ‘adoptive big brother’ to the reader, they have no choice but to let it slide as Hawks could always use good publicity that he genuinely cares about doing

When Aizawa learns about the reader’s past especially with their parents and how they rejected the reader despite being Heteromorphs themselves or having family members who are, he sits down with the reader and asks them to explain the whole Heteromorph discrimination thing as well as the nonbinary culture

Reader explains to Aizawa, with the help of Shoji and other Heteromorph students, that despite the fact that a ‘normal appearance’ isn’t really a thing anymore, there are still specific groups of people who hate and fear Heteromorphs, even within the Heteromorph community

Aizawa, realizing how much this discrimination has and can negatively impact the mental health and self esteem of his students, then asks the students involved if there is anything that the school can do for them. This leads to the reader as well as other Heteromorph students, going to each of their respective grades classes, and explaining and teaching their peers about the different ways Heteromorphs are discriminated against and how to help in those situations

These classes are taught to the entire school from the hero course to the business course. Nedzu was thrilled and also disheartened by the fact that there are students who have been treated this way simply because of their looks and has set up a group counseling program for Heteromorph students

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #aizawa x reader #mha pro heroes #mha hawks #mha endeavor #endeavor x reader #hawks x child reader #endeavor x child reader #keigo takami x reader #Enji Todoroki x child reader #aizawa sensei #papa hawks #keigo takami x child reader #mha x child reader #bnha x child reader

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maaikeatthefullmoon · 9 months

Text

Someone asked about places where they could find my creative works & how I make a living.

I’ve been a self-employed artist since 2017. The current economic climate is making that *very* difficult and I may well be giving up my beautiful business soon, but for now, I’m still clinging on by my fingernails. I’ve survived a lot longer than many of my colleagues and I’ve been VERY grateful and fortunate. (Yes, my profile photo is actually me, very cold, in my freezing workshop, in my ok-to-get-covered-in-paint-ugly-clothes 😂)

You can find me/support me here:

Etsy: I have *two* Etsy shops. I make (currently exclusively Good Omens) fan-based clothing, bags, and cushion covers at FullMoonFandom. and I make fan art and children's home decor, all hand painted on high quality medite wood at Lioncub Creations. This shop has been my main business for the past 8+ years and is my bread & butter. It's been hit HARD by the cost of living crisis.

Ko-fi: If you enjoy my writing, or just generally take pity on me, I'd think you were bloody amazing if you could please buy me a coffee (although I'll actually spend it on bills...sorry). No pressure, though, I know money's tight.

AO3: I write Good Omens fanfic under the username imposterssyndrome, I’ve been writing since November after my trauma therapist recommended it and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done (especially after my mother told 8yo me that my writing was shit and I literally never wrote another piece of fiction until age 40). I skew angsty, love historical stuff and researching stuff. Did I mention Here Be Angst?

Wavelengths & Frequencies - I'm writing this wonderfully fun enemies-to-lovers human AU with the ineffable @shadesofecclescakes. This is a DJ AU and bloody hell does it ever help that she's a professional DJ herself, because I would have given up in the first chapter otherwise. This longfic will be funny, VERY piney, a teensy-tiny bit angsty (but not too much), smutty, and just generally a whole lot of fun. And it's got footnotes! And newspaper articles! And other stuff which I won't spoiler yet!. Rated E (and P for Piney-As-Fuck). WIP, published every Monday, due to be completed by Feb.

Free - a human AU, which begins with them meeting in an acute mental health ward, where they have both recently been admitted. Initially distrustful of one another, they slowly realise how much they have in common. It is VITAL to read the content warnings as there are many mental health themes. Rated E. Now complete.

Epistolary Series - Aziraphale's diaries, read by Crowley, a romp through history, the series includes an Aziraphale POV and more, rated E, currently made of 3 completed works.

Ineffable Inspirations Series - Individual oneshots, all based on songs. Currently 2 stories, based on Fiona Apple’s Shadowboxer (set in 1941) & Finger Eleven’s Paralyzer (set in 2021)

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year

Text

In the mood for...

~*~

1. Thank you fabulous mods for all you do! Itmf wangxian fics where Wei Ying recovers from starvation or struggles with eating.

💖 the absence of hunger by parsnipit (M, 27k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, eating disorder, PTSD, food as a metaphor for love)

a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (E, 11k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, featuring WWX's fucked-up relationship with food, and his own body, Eating Disorder Recovery, tricking your brain into better habits, bad choices, followed by good choices, low angst, Happy Ending, Tender smut, Frottage, Praise Kink, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 20k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, Time Travel Fix-It, not JC friendly, not Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect friendly, not Jiāng Family friendly, not YZY friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gūsū Lán Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WIP) It's only 3 chapters in & idk where the author plans to take it, but there's discussion of WWX being starved in the past & he is put on a special diet to make up for that

my eyes got used to the darkness by curiositykilled (M, 4k, JC & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Body Horror, Implied Cannibalism, Dehumanization, Sunshot Campaign, YLLZ WWX, Demonic Cultivation, PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Ghosts, Disordered Eating, Referenced Animal Abuse)

~*~

2. hi, thanks to the mods and everyone for all the recs! i have a few requests for itmf if i may 🙏🏽

a) could people recommend their fave non-english fics (ao3 or not)? i know mtl isnt that great but i'm hoping it's passable enough to enjoy fics that I've missed (peferably wx/gen but anything's good!)

b) yiling sibs feels? or bm family? even if it's not the focus of the fic! canon or modern (truth will out is one such brilliant example)

c) i saw a fun post that the juniors (or jl and lsz) each experienced canon as a different genre of YA protag. are there similar fics, of like, canon retelling/divergence but as the junior in question Goes Through It? (full quartet is great too of course!) @danmeiireader

2A)

【羡忘】落花时节又逢君 by Faywangper (E, 245k, wangxian, ABO, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ) My favourite non-English fic is a very long and delicious AU written in Chinese

2B)

so you’ve been robbed by a museum by yukla (M, 5k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, yearning tm, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, immortal cultivators in a modern world, JC is a good brother, WWX has a couple self-worth issues)

Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It, Lynchpin [PODFIC] by Opalsong, [PODFIC] Lynchpin by Gwogobo)

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

2C)

❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

~*~

3. Are there any fics where Madam Lan's death actually pushes LWJ into being a (secret?) rebel instead of a perfect disciple?? I think I read an SBWY fic (I think it was Pancho's privated fic that someone looked for a few fic finders back) with something vaguely similar, but I would love to read if someone explored that idea! Thank you!

Following the Rules by BegrudginglyTumbling (SarcasticSmiler) (T, 2k, wangxian, gusu lan rules, fluff & humor, LWJ being a little shit) Not quite what the request asked for because it doesn't really delve into the why, but this has LWJ rebelling via malicious compliance

Awaiting Your Return by Karmiya (E, 114k, wangxian, burial mounds settlement days, found family, opposite of slow burn, WIP) has Lan Wanji basically acting as a rogue cultivator only rarely returning to the cloud recesses, though that is a relatively small part of the fic

~*~

4. Hello!!! I'm looking for some wangxian (a)stripper aus, and (b) prostitution aus

All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 51k, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, Reincarnation, Modern AU, canon still happened, extreme post canon, Sugar Daddy, Kink Negotiation, gentle dom!LWJ, canonical levels of consent play, Modern Cultivators) though not quite either A or B, All Old Things Are New Again has Camboy!WWX

4A)

Wuji Club Remix by babybeets (E, 30k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, fancy rich prep school flash back, Library Sex, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Deepthroating, Aftercare, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Getting Together, Friendship, lan zhan FUCKS, Dancer LWJ, Addled WWX, WWX & WQ Friendship)

please forgive my most passionate disruptions by pumpkinpaix (E, 65k, WangXian, Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Modern AU, Modern with Magic, Modern: Still Have Powers, stripper!WWX, Graduate School)

little bun by eightroses (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Stripper AU, PWP, bunny tail plug, Dirty Talk, Lingerie, Double Penetration, Trans WWX, Sex Work, First Time, Confessions, Trans Male Character)

~*~

5. Hiiii!!!

I'm on the mood for a fic where Lz has his hair cut when he's punished with the discipline whip.

All Exits Look The Same by Ahlai (T, 14k, LSZ & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, Madam Lan & LWJ, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, Family Feels, Healing, Grief/Mourning) They cut his hair when he leaves the sect in this one

my life’s journey is far from over by thelastdboy (E, 148k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Post-Sunshot Campaign, POV WWX, Slow Burn, YLLZ WWX, Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Healing Is a Slow Process, therapy is good actually, All women deserve better, mlm/wlw solidarity, the mortifying ordeal of discovering you're into bdsm while you're caught up in political intrigue, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Not Everyone Dies au, WWX Lives, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Single Parent WWX, Selectively Mute LWJ, Eventual Smut, Light Dom/sub, Happy Ending)

~*~

6. hi, do you know of any royalty wangxian AUs where wwx is the royal instead of lwj? ty!

travelers through the empty gate by stiltonbasket (M, 99k, WIP, WangXian, Royalty, Emperor WWX, Mistaken Identity, Poor LWJ, Bookshop owner LWJ, Intrigue, Court Drama, Forced Marriage, Confused WWX, POV Alternating, Parenthood, Misunderstandings, Empress LWJ, Requited Unrequited Love, Fluff, Humor, Married Life, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Silver & Silk Series by farawayanddreaming (M/E, 55k, WangXian, Established Relationship, Emperor WWX, Concubine LWJ, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Bondage, Devotion, No Plot/Plotless, vibes only, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX)

Conquering the Emperor by catbrainedschemes (E, 21k, WangXian, Historical, Imperial China, Emperor!WWX, General!LWJ, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Historically Inaccurate, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Light Angst, Slow Burn, Happy Ending)

Son of Heaven and Frost General Series by Aki_no_hikari (M/T, 7k, WangXian, Royalty, Historical, Emperor/General, Fade to Black, Romance)

The Last Concubine by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 13k, WangXian, Royalty AU, Emperor WWX, Concubine LWJ, LWJ Whump, Forced Marriage, Starvation, Non-physical spousal abuse, Fluff and Angst, Doing the Wrong Thing for the Right Reasons, Happy Ending, WWX Takes Care of LWJ)

The Most Important Man in the Empire by Marayanna (G, 14k, wangxian, Royalty, Emperor WWX, Secretary/head of state LWJ, overworked WWX, Supportive LWJ, POV WWX, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, competent LWJ, Happy Ending, Inspired by the book The Hands of the Emperor, But you don't need to know it to read the fic, Competent WWX, LWJ Takes Care of WWX, As much as he is politically able to, Is 'working together to make the world a better place' considered flirting, it should be)

~*~

7. hello, how are you. For the next itmf

(a). Fics where lan wanji is incredibly inlove with wei ying. Whether is Canon or Au but he is just showering wei ying with love

(b). Fics where wangxian are the shameless couple. People will be finding them kissing in the corner or they are keeping cloud recess awake with their noice. It can also be canon or an Au.

(c). I would also like bamf weiying.

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 712k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) kind of answers all three requests

7A)

Snow by kuro (M, 38k, wangxian, Modern, Snow, Sick Character, Caretaking, Fluff, Sugar Daddy, only they're like… bad at it, Angst, Rabbits, Food, Sexy Times, occasionally)

A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 70 k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX) (also fits 7C) i think they'll enjoy A Matter of Time but heed tags and warnings

7B)

Wangxian’s Time-Travelling Shenanigansseries by pupeez4eva (M, 18k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, Humor, Love Confessions, PDA, Wangxian being their shameless selves, Nothing will ruin WWX’s confession, Not even dozens of very confused disciples, or confused family members because LQR and JC are not amused, time travel at the most inconvenient moment, Everyone is just very confused, Wangxian elope with no explanation and leave everyone else to deal with the aftermath, LXC is a very good big brother, JC is probably going to end up killing WWX, Canon Divergence, Featuring: many horrified bystanders, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, AU of Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now, The many moments that Wangxian could have travelled to, POV Outsider) Features WWX & LWJ being shameless throughout & part 3 of the series has them keeping CR awake with their noise

~*~

8. Hi friends!! do you know of any fic where Lan Wangji moves into the burial mounds right after Wei Wuxian takes the Wens there? I’m not sure what to even search on ao3 for it but I would owe you my life if you knew any! @spectrelle

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I’m Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts) WWX doesn't stay in the Burial Mounds in this, but LWJ joins him anyway, so idk if this counts?

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes)

Home and the Heartland by Witch_Nova221 (T, 210k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, Burial Mounds, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Slow Romance, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Discovery, Golden Core Reveal, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, the burial mounds aren't always a happy place, but wangxian do their best)

no one ever said the single-plank bridge had to be walked alone by roserocksrapidly (T, 174k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies au, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Fluff, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, LWJ and WWX get to be Dads together, the healing power of homoerotic flute/guqin duets, Happy Ending)

Also re: 8 - Requester might be interested in the tag Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Stays at the Burial Mounds

~*~

9. I've got another itmf request. Does anyone know of fics where nhs gets angry or criticizes nmj/the nie sect for their part in what happens to wwx? Or ones where nhs shows that he's protective of wwx to the nie sect/cultivation world whether that's covertly or overtly. Thanks all!

and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending)

A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 70 k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX) (link in #7A) i think they'll enjoy A Matter of Time but heed tags and warnings

~*~

10. Can you find me a fanfic where wei wuxian doesn’t die, instead he goes into a mountain and takes orphans in to take care of them and one day lan wangji stumbles upon his mountain. Kind of like baoshan sanren except there is no immortal thing, but it’s ok if there is ofc. Also it should have a good amount of wangxian with a happy ending

~*~

11. Hii , are there fics where wei ying becomes the wen sect leader , if so can you please recommend some? 🙏 @karinasnowwwx

assuming this is for the Wen remnants, the user might want to try the Yiling Wei sect tag

uncertain if this is asking for wen zongzhu wwx or yiling wei fic so one of each!

To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, NingSang, XuanLi, MingXu, ChengYu, WWX is a Wen, POV LWJ, Good Parent LWJ, Marriage of convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WWX isn't adopted by the Jiang's, CSSR and WCZ Live, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, POV NHS, Protective LJY, Good Person WRH, Protective LXC, Immortal LWJ and WWX, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian in Love, Soft WangXian, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, POV JZX, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent) wen sect leader wwx

~*~

12. Is there a Pacific rim AU for wangxian? I would love to read one. Trying to quit smoking, need a good distraction.

Lightning’s Call, Abyss’ Song by DiamondCrystalInk (T, 37k, WangXian, Pacific Rim Fusion, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, but i guess, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drift Compatibility, but also..., Soulmates, Sword fights but romantic)

The Weight of the World by KouriArashi (T, 67k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, Pacific Rim Fusion, Robots, Monsters, robots fighting monsters, Family, Romance, Developing Relationship, Angst, (but not about the romances), Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Happy Ending)

or for a whole list, including ones I have not read

The 'whole list' link under 12 does not work. The asker might use the shiptag and then use 'Pacific Rim' in the 'Search within Results' box to get that list.

~*~

13. Hi, thank you for all your hardwork!!

I come here for "I'm in the mood for", I would like a any good fic with some bickering between Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng like 'Brothers in law', even if it is the main thing of the fic or just a passing scene. Don't have any preferences if it is canon or not.

Thank you once again. @anime-trash-parody

Time Kept Flowing by notoneforreality (T, 201k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, major character death is wwx, who comes back, Family, Autistic LWJ, Kid Fic, JC and LWJ raise the kids, Co-parenting is hard, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

none lives forever, brother, and nothing lasts for long by eena (M, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ raised at Lotus Pier, JC found him first, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation)

whatever comes of you and me (I’d love to leave my memory with you) by sami (E, 12k, XiCheng, WangXian, references to past emotional manipulation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Recovery, Family, Brotherhood, Correcting for Poor Interfamily Communication, JFM’s A+ parenting, Not MY Friendly, Not JFM Friendly, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending)

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 120k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Lives au, Everyone Needs A Hug, Women Being Awesome, WQ is a goddess, content warning for JGS, content warning for XY, content warning for JGY, WWX's terrible awful brilliant plans, Yunmeng Bros, JYL is an angel, BAMF Women, I take it back NMJ still dies, Minor Character Death, NMJ is BACK and he is NOT HAPPY, MM is not paid enough for this shit) has a fun sort of brothers-in-law feeling between lwj and jc

This is our Get-Along Night Hunt by hmc73 (T, 28k, WangXian, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, LWJ has Feelings, canon-typical horror elements, POV LWJ, Canon Compliant, Fluff with Knives, It starts off funny but WATCH OUT, Case Fic, Good Sibling JC, Fluff and Angst)

~*~

14. Hi, me again, I have been looking for fics, Modern, with cultivation, conferences and the like, where Wei Wuxian is not treated well, were things similar to cannon happened and he's not recognised as a great cultivator and Lan Wangji and his family, Jiāng Yànlí, Jiāng Chéng or Wen Qíng and Wen Ning aren't ok with this and try to help him deal with reputation and things. they can be long or short. Please help. Be well @monicaop21

Hi, I'm number 14 in the last In the mood for…post!! I just wanted to share the fics that started my obsession with modern fics that speak well of WWX in the cultivation world!! One is My Zhiji's On Broadway by ScarlettStorm and the fic inspired by this beauty Let Her Leave Your by Worldspacewitchbot Both of them in Ao3 So amazing both of them!! More sequels!! ;) Be well and tons of thanks!! You are awesome!!

My Zhiji’s On Broadway by ScarlettStorm (E, 15k, wangxian, modern with cultivation, drunk LWJ, drunk shenanigans, getting together, first time, minor angst, major comedy, smut)

Let Her Leave Your World by spacewitchbot (E, 10k, MM/OFC, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, modern cultivation, Seattle, Conventions, Getting Together, Jet Lag, One Night Stands, Alcohol Breastfeeding in public (not in a sexy way,) Infant Care, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, #metoo movement, Not quite everybody lives but more people do, People listen to Mianmian, That actually fixes a lot of stuff)

~*~

15. Hi! For the next ITMF, do you have a recommendation where LQR secretly fond of/have a soft spot for WWX? Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

through the eyes of elders series by Fleetling (T, 13k, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LQR, wangxian, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, LQR pov, LQR is a good uncle, LXC recovering from the whole JGY thing is a major part, Wingman LXC)

💖 Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing) LQR goes back in time & learns to appreciate WWX

~*~

16. For the next ITMF: life of wwx or/with lwj after the revelations at the Guanyin temple. Preferably long fic, around more than 5 or 10 chapters or more than 10k words, and completed. Thank you!

💖 Germination by taotrooper (M, 14k, wangxian, post-canon, honeymoon, domestic fluff, comedy, teaching, character study)

Imprints by Lisa_Telramor (G, 47k, wangxian, post-canon, humor, panic attacks, phobia recovery, poor life choices, JC & WWX reconciliation, dogs)

Between The Lines by Witch_Nova221 (M, 153k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, WWX & OCs, Epistolary, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Canon, Idiots in Love)

Agapé (home is in your arms) by estel_willow (G, 15k, wangxian, fraternal bonding, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Wwx is oblivious, LXC is patient, LSZ remains the best son, Most of these characters could do with a good therapist, Wwx uses his words, Wwx is an unreliable narrator, Light Angst, canon-typical self dislike from our favourite chaotic disaster bi)

Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

~*~

17. Hii! I saw a lot of tiktok that got me in the mood to read wangxian again! I love canonverse fics, but bc they’re so angsty (tho i do like a bit of it as one should) I wanted to ask for canondivergance fix it fics, prefferably with xicheng too! (*by fix it i mean shijie doesn’t die and a-cheng doesn’t hate his brother bc of it) 🥹 thank you!

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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when-november-ends · 2 years

Text

witchcraft things

that didn't work for me

and why

- kitchen witchcraft

i love cooking and i love working with plants, however incorporating spells into my food didn't work for me. i got way too distracted by the spell part, that i completely forgot to make the food taste good. and as much as i love magic, it took the fun out of cooking for me. because now, cooking wasn't something fun where i could experiment with flavors and textures, it was something i had to put thought into beforehand. and i like to be spontaneous with my cooking.

- protection spells

protection spells seem to be the most important part of the witchcraft community. and i do think it's important to know how protection magic works, but it's also very unnecessary to have protections up 24/7 if you're not famous or have many enemies. i tend to forget about my protection spells, so they just sit on my altar, untouched for months and i forget to make new ones. hasn't hurt me so far tho, so i'll be saving those up for when and if i actually need them.

- casting a circle

not gonna lie, i tried that once and never again. it felt so pretentious to me.. like i was in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. and not in a good way. i stumbled across that practice on witchtok first, that was when i thought i was wrong for practicing my way and not how other people said i should. i don't think casting a circle is a bad thing to do, but it absolutely is a bad thing to do for me.

- bowl spells

bowl spells are one of my favorite kinds of spells because they're interactive. you put things in, you take things out. the energy doesn't feel stagnant and the spell is always working it's magic as long as you interact with it. ....but unfortunately my adhd made it very clear to me that those kinds of spells aren't something that works for me. i forget about them 5 minutes after i made them and they never get interacted with, so they don't do much of what they're supposed to. i would definitely recommend them to people who remember to take out and put in stuff tho, because the concept is great.

- scrying

gods, did i want that to work. divination is my favorite kind of witchcraft and i'm great at it! so when i learned about scrying, it was something i immediately got interested in and tried. i tried fire and water. fire worked a bit better, because the flames are dancing and water is reflective. that meant for me, i was always seeing things in it that were physically there, and couldn't concentrate on the scrying part. honestly i don't really remember why the fire method didn't work out, but i assume i got distracted really fast or lost in my thoughts.

- veiling

veiling can be done for many reasons. mine was, that i wanted to use it as a way to protect myself from all the different types of energy in public places. every person has their own life, with their own problems and their own current state of being. and since i have social anxiety, i thought veiling would be worth a try so that public places perhaps wouldn't get overwhelming as fast. well, that backfired because before i could try it, i realized i was trans and the head covering made me feel very dysphoric when i put it on at home. i never attempted anything similar again after that.

- ancestor work

i lost someone really close to me in early 2020. she wasn't a blood relative, but she was my dad's best friend, our landlord (who lived in the same house as we did by the way) and she saw me grow up since i was a baby. i was so desperate to try and talk to her. i tried to reach her myself, i asked other witches for help, but it never worked. after a while i decided to let her be, because the constant getting my hopes up and then being disappointed didn't help my mental health. i just wanted to know if she was okay now, but i think i just have to trust that she is. as for my other ancestors, i don't know anything about them and i am not really interested in finding out. i wasn't close with any of my great grandparents because we saw each other about once a year until they died. they didn't do anything wrong, but i don't want to force a connection.

- dragon work

damn. i really love dragons. all my life and with all my heart. and i truly believe that they are out there (not physically, like dinosaurs were, but in a similar way the gods are out there). i've done a lot of research on the topic, but my mental health got in the way. i don't have the concentration to reach out to them, nor will i be able to dedicate a specific amount of time to them regularly, which i feel like they won't like. i will try again when and if i get better, but until then it goes on this list of witchcraft things that didn't work for me and why.

#witchcraft #witchblr #witch #witches of tumblr #norse pagan witch #pagan witch #witch community #witchcraft community #witchcraft 101 #witch tips #beginner witch tips #beginner witch #baby witch tips #baby witch #kitchen witchcraft #dragon work #scrying #spells #witchcraft spells

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celaenaeiln · 9 months

Note

is the dickbabs romantic relationship always as bad as in Tom Taylor’s run or is it actually enjoyable in other runs? i want to read more of dick’s og nightwing run but ik dickbabs is a recurring thing and i strongly dislike what i’ve seen of it in modern comics (absolutely no offense to anyone who ships it!!)

also sort of related, but have dick and babs really been BFFs since grade school or is that new canon? i remember the initial new 52 run referencing him and babs as on and off but nothing about being childhood besties.

finally- what would you consider to be key dick grayson runs?

Surprisingly Dickbabs is pretty nice to read in other runs. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who hates Dickbabs as a ship but really it's only bad like 85% of the time and the majority of that is because of the Batgirl comics. Batgirl comics treat Dick like shit and it's a losing tossup whether he's treated well in Oracle related comics.

But to get to your point, Dickbabs in Nightwing (1996) was originally pretty good. Tom Taylor's run of Nightwing is the weird one because in every other run you have Dick + relationships whereas in Taylor's you have relationships + Dick. That being said, I highly, highly recommend reading the og one. At one point it does get toxic but Barbara leaves almost immediately after that and aside from that the ship was pretty nice for the most part.

Dick and Barbara have NOT been BFFS since childhood or whatever and this gets on my nerves that Tom Taylor and Hope Larson did that. This is one of the problems I have with the Dickbabs ship. Writers who write them love changing the story to erase Dick's friendships with the Titans. They literally love to pretend Wally, Donna, Roy, and Garth don't exist. BARBARA IS NOT HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND!! They literally keep deaging her and for what?? First she was like two decades older than him, then she's five years older than him, and now she's the same age?? Just let her be older! Barbara being the same age as Dick makes no sense because it takes away her maturity to turn her into this childish, selfish character she has no business being. She's not even enjoyable when she's deaged this far. I'm still on the she's 5 to 6 years older than Dick canon timeline and there is no way she was childhood besties with him.

The way I picture Dick and Barbara's relationship is this:

youtube

DC should've just let it at this, this was peak Dick and Barbara relationship.

Very narrow starting out list but some must read Dick Grayson runs are:

Nightwing (1996) - If you don't feel like reading anything else just read this

Nightwing (2016) - Really good up until Tom Taylor's run

Batman: Gotham Knights - pretty good and lots of cute Tim and Dick!

Titans (1999) - This is a must read if you're not interested in the original Teen Titans comics

Outsiders (2003) - Love him so much in this

JLA/Titans - Important for understanding his relationships with Titans and Batman

Nightwing (2011)

Justice League (2011) Issue #25 and Forever Evil - Same arc

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush

Robin era

Batman - One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze - If you want to skip the medal ages but still want to know what Dick was like as Robin, this comic is all you need to understand his character and personality and beliefs.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet - Dick's gauntlet test!

Robin: Year One - For fun :)

Dick!Bats era

Batman: Battle for the Cowl - To get into Dick's batman

Batman (1940) Issues #682 to #713 - Batman Dick. Incredible. Dick was such a good batman and so fun to read.

Batman and Robin (2009) - Dick and Dami!

Batman: Streets of Gotham - Also Dick and Dami <3

Justice League of America (2006) Issues #41 to #60- Dick leading his own JLA team as Batman! SO FUN!!

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #864 to #881 - Honestly Batman Dick was so good I can't tell if I like Dick more as Nightwing or Batman. Obviously it's better for his mental health if he's nightwing but he just did such a great job as Batman.

Spy era

Grayson - YESSSS. Just everything about this.

Batman and Robin Eternal - It was really good up until near the end but then it got better again

Dark Crisis - Definitely, without a doubt, no question

Additional: The ones above are focused on him but if you finish reading this then Tim's Robin (1993) Comic is a fantastic one. He doesn't appear in every single issue but he appears a lot and it's a lot of Dick and Tim characterization. Also Teen Titans (2003) for more Dick and Titans relationships.

#dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #batgirl #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!

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theoneandonlysilly · 1 year

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lets be so fr rn, the majority of the adult men in hxh would be SO TOXIC.

(large amount of text after break)

like i luv them, but c’mon… I know a lot of people think that chrollo would be the most tolerable out of the adult trio, but i beg to differ. that man would be so manipulative and would make you feel like shit and put you in a state of co-dependency while his ass is out doing evil phantom troupe shit. and during this you would be trying to keep your slowly but surely deteriorating mental health alive. it would be such an icky situation and i can tell that shit wouldn’t be fun. imo of the characters, illumi MIGHT be the easiest to deal with dating… as long as you don’t get attached to him, because he isn’t very affectionate. im giving him some leverage because i can tell he cares about those he loves, but like, he loves in an odd way. Hisoka is hisoka. thats all i have to say tbh. i honestly have no clue how he would act. he would probably go out of his way to toy with you, but in the way that he gets his sadistic pleasure out of it. and its really just playful teasing and stuff, but he also isn’t very committed, and would likely just stop being interested and just break up with you. onto the more tolerable ones, but still toxic, we have meruem. he’s not horrible once you get used to him, but he is um… interesting. he isn’t affectionate early on, and probably wanted to kill you at first, but based on his relationship with komugi in canon, i believe that he has potential to be a good person/chimera ant/ thing idfk. anyways, kurapika. he is very motivated to destroy the phantom troupe, which may cause him to be toxic in some ways. he doesn’t mean to, he just gets caught up in his revenge plans, sometimes so much so that he forgets to be good to himself, let alone be good to you (he is so me tbh). leorio is honestly fine. he would be a good boyfriend, and he would be very sweet. maybe a little bit sexually driven and may accidentally upset you, but he makes up for it by caring for you. he may get caught up in his emotions sometimes, but he always calms down and makes up for it well, and apologizes. you can tell that he cares and that he would never hurt you mentally or physically. Now onto more toxic mfs, pariston fucking hill. he is the definition of toxic, and sort of like chrollo but in the blond politician sorta way. he would give zero fucks about your feeling and would use you to his advantage. 0/10 would not recommend. anyways, ging. …no. he is very laid back and casual with dating, and probably would upset you all the time and arguments would be common. not quite as bad as some others, but still toxic.

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING BUT THAT WAS FUN TO WRITE ABT

#hxh #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter #chrollo #hisoka #illumi #meruem #kurapika #leorio #pariston hill #ging #toxic ass men lmao

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hpowellsmith · 6 months

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Happy birthday, Royal Affairs!

It's been a year since Royal Affairs came out and I've been over the moon about how it's been received. It's meant that I've been able to write full-time, make Honor Bound as rich and detailed at high speed, and do a lot of physical and mental health recovery after various periods of burnout. I'm really grateful for everyone's support, here and elsewhere, and it really makes a huge difference.

I had so much fun returning to the characters after a while away for the epilogue - if you enjoyed the game at release and haven't replayed for the epilogue, I very much recommend giving it a go!

After beta testing, I wrote up a retrospective about what came up and how I organised my work. I thought I'd share it for some insight into my process, for players and authors. Here it is:

In Crème de la Crème I ended up adding large branches to the plot during beta, but I was fortunate not to have to do it this time around. Mostly it was building on what was there or bringing certain things to the forefront, or adding a few different ways of navigating situations.

As feedback came in, I was lucky enough to have so much that it became unwieldy to act on it in one go, so I made a priority list.

Highest priority was game breaking bugs or large continuity problems like Dominique's final game scene switching to Beaumont's.

High priority was smaller continuity bugs like the game confusing who you were romancing or whether you had or hadn't done a particular action earlier.

Medium priority was things like small scene additions or multi romance responses, or tweaking first impressions of characters, and so on.

Low priority was nice-to-haves like allowing a character to be romanced only late on.

Alongside this, I fixed typos and made small adjustments - easy wins that added polished. There were also some major sweeps that I did: a stat test clarity sweep, a stat change sweep, a reduction of tests in casual conversations, and repetitive words or phrases.

Stat test clarity:

I picked 3-4 stat tests at random from each chapter, copied their text into a separate document, and highlighted words that reflected the stats. For example: for Authoritative I had things like "I order them to..." "I tell them what to do", "I stay aloof to maintain my authority..." and so on. I edited testing choices to include these keywords, and also edited the stat guide to include them.

Checking all this had the side effect of helping me spot unnecessary tests or points where the stat being tested just didn't match the situation at hand.

Stat changes:

There are a lot of points where stats can change, and not all of them made sense at the start of beta. I did variations of this sweep several times, including the Action Skills, NPC stats, and adding a lot more chances to boost your Powers of Persuasion. Again doing this check helped me spot unnecessary or unintuitive tests and changes.

Tests in casual conversations:

This was again something that I iterated several times. Some of the commentary about Crème de la Crème said that the stat tests felt punishing or too difficult, and an early playtest from my wife flagged that some of the tests in Royal Affairs felt unfair. Why should a character's relationship reduce when you're trying to be affectionate, if the circumstances aren't in a state where that makes sense?

So I stripped out a lot of this, generally replacing a success/failure with flavour text (such as a Subtle MC perhaps being, well, more subtle about holding hands with someone). In some cases, where a character needs to be drawn out of themselves to talk more emotionally (Beaumont or Hyacinthe, on occasion), or they see the conversation as a contest or challenge in some way (mostly Javi or Trevelyan), I left them in. But I liked that they were a rarity rather than default.

Repetitive words or phrases

As I was writing, sometimes I noticed that I was overusing phrases, so if I got that feeling I would make a note for the sweep. In the end there wasn't as much as that as I thought, but there were a lot of qualifier-type words that reduce the impact of a sentence - "a little" was one, or "really", usually in dialogue - or filler words like "down" in sentences like "you sit down beside them".

I also looked for phrases like "you know" or "you suspect" to spot places where I could express whatever it was that the MC knows more elegantly (this is something a former colleague told me once and I've never forgotten it!)

More involved edits

With some major things that I did change, I'd put them on my to-do list before beta but they were either unwieldy and I wanted to start testing sooner rather than later, or I wanted to check whether other people agreed. It was great to have more opinions and mostly they confirmed what I'd thought. With others, I studied the feedback to gauge whether the effort of making the changes would be worth the payoff. In most cases, I decided to go for it.

In general, this stage involved adding things, including:

more worldbuilding details to give more context to the plot

more teacher interactions throughout; added scenes as well as offhand references to other classes; more about Clemence and Vere and expanded outcomes to their storyline

romanceable characters responding to players romancing other people: in the moment, checking in about where your relationship was at, and a set of final breakup conversations if it was left until the very last minute (this was a very big undertaking and would have been better to do earlier - a lesson I've taken to Honor Bound)

lengthening the main suffrage debate

adding slow-paced romance dynamics for two characters (I was really keen to do this but was disciplined about making it low priority - it was a lovely idea and I knew I'd enjoy doing it, but it was very much a nice-to-have compared to other things. I was delighted to be able to do it!)

more communal scenes with classmates to give more of a sense of living in each other's pockets

adding an option to confide in Asher about a particular plot point and for them to assist with it if wanted (I was so happy about adding this: it's one of my favourite Asher moments, even if few people see it!)

tweaking some of the friendship/romance conversations to add more emotional chat (mostly this applied to Javi and Hyacinthe; there was a bit added to Asher and Dominique at Verdancy)

more pet time

more narrative and conversational responsiveness about whether an imperilled character was romanced

more Javi asexuality chat

more detailed outfit descriptions throughout with more choices about what to wear

generally expanding some scenes to give more breathing room to important moments

In the end I added 45000 words to the game during beta testing, thanks to feedback from editor review, continuity testing, and copyediting. Testing took place during late December 2022 and January 2023, and I massively appreciate everyone who contributed to make this big game as polished as it is!

#choice of games #royal affairs #creme de la creme series #interactive fiction #game writing process #if writing process

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redcherrykook · 4 months

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── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 2

────୨ৎ────

College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

(Mini series)- Episode two!

Song recommendation: too sweet- hozier

────୨ৎ────

"You´re early" he grumbles, surprised at the figure stood in the empty classroom. At 8;30 am, 15 minutes before class, it is only natural for the hall to be empty. So it was only you standing there, dressed neatly, seemingly looking put together.

But Jungkook knew better. He didn´t even have to linger his penetrating gaze on the face of yours long to notice the exhaustion painted on your features.

As always, he turns a blind eye.

Everyone gets tired sometimes.

You nod, "I know, kind of did that on purpose" Standing there while opening your bag, you begin setting your books on the table. A rose colored journal slips out, landing perfectly on top of the books needed for his class. You had woken up early today, determined to not come late for a sixth time. Determined to try and keep up that yes, it was just an accident. Nothing more, no conspiracies.

The wind whispers from the open window, slipping in the fresh morning air, waving your hair with it in a swift but gentle swish.

nonetheless, he notices,

"Close the window, it is getting cold" he sits down at his desk, folding down the sleeves of his grey button down that so delicately revealed his strong form.

So you comply, shutting the air outside of the class.

"Thank you" the sound of two very simple, very common words catch you off guard. With a lean on the window behind you, your gaze shifts to the tall teacher propped up on his desk. Your mouth opens slightly to formulate a response but, cannot seem to gather what to say. Although in every other situation, it´s simple. You´re welcome.

"Calm down, I just thanked you. My god if you´re gonna react like this to every time i comply to that stupid deal of ours I´m gonna be sick" his arms cross in front of his chest, annoyed. Of course.

"I won´t, don´t flatter yourself" you shake your head slightly, moving to sit down at your desk. Certainly the conversation had been closed now. At this point, you did not expect him to engage in your bickering, soon the room would be filled with students.

However, you find out you were wrong,

"How are the injuries. Never asked about that" he´s not even looking at you when muttering a question you weren´t even sure was genuine. His eyes examining the laptop in front of him, much more engaged in the importance of his own tasks.

But Jungkook was not one to speak for filling a room simply to escape silence.

The urge to make fun of him for showing concern is lingering at the tip of your tongue, nevertheless, you bite down.

"Fine. Medium grade contusion on my right hip and lots of nasty bruises" you allow your eyes to wander along his features, letting yourself smile just a bit, hoping he would grand you a look.

"Good. Heal up quickly, you really aren´t in dire need for more absences after all"

His eyes leave the screen momentarily, glancing at you from behind his large squared glasses.

"Trying to. Thanks" your eyes meet for the split of a second before he returns to his priorities.

Just as the next student walks in.

"Good morning mr Jeon" he greets, receiving a nod from Jungkook in return.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"When is this gonna end", you mumble to yourself as you turn yet another page of given material. Yawning and stretching your arms up, you glance at the small numbers on the bottom right of your laptop that has been opened in front of you for what must have been 6 hours now.

9:45 pm already?

The schools library is most quiet at this time. The deafening, still comforting silence only breaks when the crashing of ice inside your drink or hushed words from your monologues make their way into the large study.

Most likely because the college library is already closed and you weren´t supposed to be here either. It´s not like you have ever been caught or are disturbing someone. Even the cleaning staff have become familiar with the long hours you spend sitting put at one of many desks inside the library. Admirable, they call it. In reality, this is as usual as it can get for you.

Only this time, things are different. You will be here the entire night, not just because you forgot how quickly time passes and suddenly the small rays of the morning sun kiss your hands,

It is out of necessity. For possibly the following nights as well. Until you find a new shelter that is willing to take in a runaway college student.

For a couple seconds you wonder how long it will take to find a one bedroom apartment you can afford with the below minimum wage tutoring job of yours. Working part time is impossible since ambitious, home having first year you decided to pack every possible class you could take right in your schedule.

One of the many things you regret.

A set of loud footsteps sound closer than the cleaning personal has ever been, ripping you right out the dream of a small, well decorated apartment. Mentally you groan, wondering if the day you had to be caught, really needed to be the day you would otherwise have to sleep on a park bench.

When the darkly colored wooden doors open to reveal who is roaming the hallways at a time you should be getting ready for bed, you simply can not believe your luck.

"Y/n?" the stern voice can never be mistaken for someone else, his eyes widening as he steps inside to approach your desk.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" obviously rhetorical he asks, swiftly pulling out the chair to your left and sitting down on it casually.

"I need to study. I´m not doing something wrong i swear, even the staff is fine with it, I just have so much work to do" in an attempt to rescue your chance at a warm sleep, you hurriedly let out every explanations that come to mind.

His eyes look down to your face when he slightly tilts his head back, his hand is now carefully placed on the table, tapping it rhythmically with his long and artful fingers.

I´m doomed.

"Interesting. Try doing that work when the library isn´t closed. Get up, you´re breaking the rules" the same hand that was tapping away motions upward to signal you; no really, get the fuck up.

Like the troublemaker you are, you stay put on your chair

"I can´t, I gotta get this done"

A familiar scoff escapes his lips "You cant be serious. I wasn´t asking. I said get up idiot"

"Jungkook please I really can´t" you plea with him pathetically. The way you must sound or look to him right now is far from your concern, what matters is the need to convince him.

His frustration is painted on his face so visibly you would be able to spot it from a mile away. Instead of you, he gets up, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Your eyebrows meet to express your utter confusion,

"What are you doing"

Jungkook´s eyes move over to yours, deadpanned as if you asked him the color of the sky, he looks at you.

"Calling the cops obviously. You´re Trespassing"

Your head shakes quickly as you repeat the words no,no,no,no,no while standing up and trying to get him to stop dialing. He takes a step back and groans, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Finally, leave now. I´ll come with you to make sure you actually leave and don´t try break in again"

"You're so annoying, model citizen over here"

"Thanks. You too" he grants you a fake smile before rolling his eyes so far back he would sure be able to see his brain.

You sigh, aware that any protest is useless or you might end up sleeping at the police station.

Gathering your things and already listing the possible parks and convenience stores you would need to pass time, sleep and study at in your head. Accepting the upcoming hardship you remember his words

Cruel world

A breathy laugh escapes your mouth at the memory.

"I can´t believe you were about to call the damn police on me" you turn to him while walking behind him and out the university. It´s pitch dark outside and you can barely make out any street signs.

"Well i believe in following the law. What way do you need to go?" his movements stop when he asked you that, waiting for a reply so he could make sure you were walking off in the right direction.

But, he was met with silence. You had no idea where to go and the freezing air combined with scarily dark surroundings had just made you register your situation. Where were you going to go?

Annoyed at the non response, he turns to look at you, expecting a pissed off stare or a blank look. He did not await you to look down with a frown of worry. Your head cocks slightly to the side, muttering "I don´t know yet"

Obviously, he doesn´t understand your reply. What could you possibly mean when saying you didn´t know where you lived.

That is until he remembered you living in a shelter.

She must be new there and had forgotten the address, careless as always.

"The hell am I supposed to get from that? Forgot your own goddamn address?" his hand rubs along his forehead, the tension between the both of you is as thick as the air around. Contradictory from his actions, his voice quiets down just a bit.

You decide to stay silent once more, debating if it would be worth telling him what is really going on. After the hospital situation you should be, you should be honest and try to let the deal actually work. Truth be told, the fear of being let down and belittled is much stronger at the moment.

Before you can open up your mouth to whip up a shitty excuse, he speaks again.

"Y/n, is there somewhere you can go?"

Jungkook could swear his heart drops to his stomach when he lets out these words, awaiting your reply patiently.

The question suffocates you, caught red handed you shake your head no, looking up to meet his concerned eyes. It was no use lying to him, he would be checking the library each and everyday, that would mean that you really had to spend multiple nights outside.

He lets out a sigh, placing both his hands on his hips.

"Why the fuck didn´t you tell me?"

"Seriously? I thought you were not gonna believe me and end up actually calling the cops, no thank you" your voice sounding almost unfamiliar after not speaking for a while.

"Sound like me can't even lie. Let's get back inside then" Jungkook says without waiting for your opinion, simply strutting back into the library. You can´t help but grin slightly at his abrubt nature. He goes back to sitting down at the very desk you were forced to leave 25 minutes ago.

"You´re gonna let me stay here?" the hopeful question makes his head shoot up from looking at the floor as he chuckles.

"No you smartass, that´s still illegal, and I´m still a law-abiding citizen. I´ll call around shelters and hotels with you, i guess"

Thanking whatever power rules this world at the tiniest amount of help you can get from Jungkook, you smile,

Meanwhile he is internally cussing himself out for being nice too quickly

"Thank you, seriously, didn´t think you would actually try and hold up your word"

"Didn´t you say you would not have this embarrassing reaction every time? Shut up before I change my mind" his eyes roll back to signal that he meant every word he said. Yours do too, to signal him that he is still an asshole.

His phone as well as yours end up getting taken out, spending the first fifteen minutes calling help centers and looking for cheap hotels

Unsuccessful at attempting to find an opening, you tell him that was expected since you were on basically every single waiting list you could register to.

"So help centers and shelters are off the list. Then let´s find you a decent hotel or something" he yawns, the inevitable need for sleep reaching him as the night deepens. You feel sorry for bounding him into your own personal mess, although it isn´t really your fault. He´s the one so addiment on not letting you stay at the library.

"Absolutely not. I really cannot afford that, I don´t even know for how long I would have to stay there, it´s too uncertain" your head meets the palm of your hand, closing your eyes while sighing at this stupidly vulnerable situation.

It must be past 11 pm already.

"I´ll lend you some money, just pay be back eventually"

"Fuck no" you laugh "That might take me years, and I´m far from comfortable with owing money"

Jungkook knows he can´t force you to, still provocatively he asks,

"What are your options then ?"

You open your mouth in disbelief, the obvious option being the room you are having the conversation in, "Just let me stay at the goddamn library, it´s safe and I don´t need to pay"

"It´s against the law and it is for more than one night" he remains sternly on his arguments

"Who gives a fuck about the law , will you seriously do anything to make me sleep on the streets Jungkook"

Your voice turns into somewhat of a yell, spitting out the frustration you feel towards this childish behaviour. Both of you are tired out of this hassle and want nothing more than to get some rest and peace of mind.

His eyes stay glaring, while his voice turns bitter, "You´re so stubborn, all that I´ve been trying to do is help you not sleep on a fucking bench you idiot. My god get that through the thick skull of yours. You think I´m gonna sleep well knowing one of my students, injured student at that, is spending the night on the streets?"

In all honesty, you knew he was correct. No one would sleep well knowing an acquaintance is in a dangerous spot and yeah, he had spend the past fourty minutes in your vicinity, the past 20 minutes trying to help and figure you out.

The night moves another ten minutes in silence, branches hitting the broad windows that are framing the lecture hall as the sighs of sleep deprivation and sorrow leave his lips.

You were begining to wonder how this would play out, assuming he would just sit there with you in silence until the sun came up.

But what then?

The guilt of keeping him entangled in your mess only continues to feed itself with each wordless minute that passes, you decide to tell him to go home, you would just figure it out yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook had thought up something of his own,

"Stay at my apartment then. I have a guest room. We´ll get you something tomorrow and never speak about this again"

Nothing could have prepared you from the sentence that just left his lips. What is even worse about this, is how carelessly he said it, like a passing comment. Even when he basically suggested something comparable to running to the end of the rainbow for a goldpot.

"WHAT" you can´t help it, it just comes shooting out at the complete buffoonery of this situation, that somehow keeps happening with him.

He chuckled briefly at your outburst before combing through his raven hair, his eyes never changing from the standard glare

"Look, it´s fucking close to midnight, I need sleep and you need somewhere to sleep so I will be able to actually go to sleep"

His explanation is as self centered as you had awaited it to be,that does not take away from the fact that your teacher asked you to stay the night as his place.

"I- I can´t believe you would rather i sleep in your apartment than the library. No thank you, I´m taking the bench" your head shakes violently as your face turns from surprise to cringing at the idea.

There is no way in hell you would spend the night at your teachers house

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Okay, maybe i lied.

"Turn off the damn radio and- god fasten your seatbelt for fucks sake" Jungkook groans over to you in the passenger seat of his car.

It feels like a parade of clowns are banging on your door by the second you sat down into the black hyundai. Laughing at you like you were the circus performer, not them.

Somehow, he had managed to persuade you into taking up his offer. It is only for a couple hours after all, only to pass the night. So now, he´s bitching to you about something from the drivers seat, 8 minutes past midnight.

Ridiculous, so fucking annoying already. He thinks while reaching over your torso to loosen the seatbelt that is stuck behind the carseat.

Your breath hitches at his closeness, his arm grazing over yours for a millisecond when he reaches over.

Too close.

So close you can smell the cotton scented shampoo he uses, so close you could count the moles on his arms.

You haven´t spoken a word to him since agreeing on his offer and you don´t plan to. Originally, to lessen the awkwardness of everything, now, unsure if that made everything even more awkward.

Even your attempt to lighten the mood with the radio playing got rudely rejected by him.

What a long night it has been.

The drive is short, twelve minutes void of conversation and barely lit streets. Jungkook´s eyes don´t avert the road once, his stare never creeps it´s way over to check if you were still breathing. Given by the quiet as a mouse attitude of yours, it would certainly be a possibility.

Apart from the engine rumbling and the tires rolling on the concrete roads, you noticed his habit to hum whenever the traffic lights would turn green. He also only uses his right arm to drive, keeping his left pressed flat on his thigh.

Endearing, kind of.

Once parked in front of a small apartment complex, he gets out with you and your trusty backpack following right behind. The car locks as he enters the complex, then the elevator.

"Did you loose your voice or are you purposefully getting on my nerves" his tired speech cuts through the thick air,

finally

"Just don´t really know what to say. This is all so strange" you reply, trying to sound non-chalant when the hammering of your nervous heartbeat is so far up your throat, you might actually be sick.

"it is" he says, stepping outside of the elevator and rustling his keys to unlock the door, as if it is not his fault you guys ended up like this.

When the door opens, you are greeted with a white, dimly lit hallway. He takes off his shoes first before you repeat the action and walks into, what you would assume, the livingroom. The apartment is far from the cold and empty modernity you had expected. It´s quite cozy, small but filled with photography and paintings. The apartment generally smells just like him, cotton, a hint of wood and leather.

There are four doors around, one that is open clearly leading to the kitchen, two that are across from each other and one at the very back.

"Sit down on the couch, don´t stand there so awkwardly"

His suggestion is once again, more of a demand that you, as usual, comply to. Jungkook doesn´t try to show you around, skipping all the weird hosting formalities, except for one.

He sits down next to you, keeping a comfortable distance between both of your bodies

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Water would be good, yeah" the reply sounds painfully forced in an effort to keep the small talk and get to sleep as soon as possible.

The thought of having to face him the next morning made you want to rip your hair out, to try and distract yourself you look around the open space, taking in the beautiful pictures hung up around.

Once he sets the glass of water down you accept it gladly, drinking from it in another attempt to conceal the uncomfortable situation.

"Did you take these?" curiously you point to a collage above the coffetable in the corner of the room. It´s a collection of damp flowers and pretty fields, the color scheme is white and lavender.

It suits him, you think

"Mhm, took em´ four years ago" his voice echos through the walls of his home, following your stare directed at the collage.

"So photography can be pretty, maybe I´m really just talentless" you scoff, remembering the awful portfolio you handed him in.

"Yes, to both of those"

The comment seems to have softened the mood a little bit, you can physically feel your shoulders release tension.

"Jungkook?" now it is his turn to look at you, trying to guess what would follow the sound of his name out of your mouth. He can´t help but jump a bit every time it rolls off of your tongue, natural but uncomfortable at once.

"yeah?", he says

"i know you hate this but I really can not, well, not say this. Thank you for your effort. You may be an asshole but you definitely are a man of your word. You wasted way too much time and concern and fuck, even let me stay here. I owe you something" once your rant is finished, you laugh before searching his face for the scoff you usually see presented there, regardless of the situation.

Only to find it gone,

It has been replaced by a soft smile, something so foreign on his face, it made you feel a spark of joy.

"I guess that was pretty nice of me. You definitely owe me some shit. I´ll get you the sheets yeah? we need to get some rest" Without really acknowledging what you had told him, he brushes past the attempt of a heartfelt conversation. To you, he didn´t have to say anything, the smile was enough to signal,

You´re welcome.

Now you stood there, sheets in hand, trying not to look at your teacher in his guest bedroom.

While putting the sheets on the bed, he stays leaning against the doorframe, watching you blankly

"Mind if i ask, you know, what happend?"

It hadn´t occurred to you before that you never actually spoke the words i got kicked out of the shelter

"With things like shelters, women with children have, righteously so, priority over runaway college kids. That´s all" , you explain,your eyes fixated on the task before you, finally finishing it up, the satisfaction of sleep inching way closer that it is now basically in reach.

He hums in response, making you look at him, leaned against his doorframe, full glory in grey sweats and a black shirt, hair laying messily over his glasses

When did he get changed?

"So. about tomorrow then, I´m guessing you won´t be able to find something so fast" tainted by exhaustion his voice tries it´s best to sound stern, nevertheless, a yawn escaping his lips makes him feel much less distant than usual.

Maybe it's just the fact that you're in his house, but that is besids the point.

"Yeah sherlock that is why i kept trying to tell you to just let me sleep at the damn library" you roll your eyes, this is the fifth time you tried explaining that to Jungkook. As a teacher, you expected him to be a little faster than that.

"Oh my god this again? I´ll kick you out if you protest one more damn time. You can just fucking stay here until a shelter calls you back, Why are you so attached to that library"

The last part arrives to your ear fuzzily as he had already shut the door of the guest bedroom, leaving you to think for yourself with what he had just uttred

Slipped secretly between his cussing he offered you to live with him temporarily. Just like that, blatant, sudden, plain. The words ring in your head, over and over again.

You can just fucking stay here

Like it´s no big deal

Whatever

You would deal with it tomorrow, it was just a comment. Sleep is far more necessary, begging you to finally rest for the remaining couple hours of the night. Too exhausted to continue thinking,

"Good night to you as well" you yell, opening the door just a bit for him to hear, earning a groan in response.

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