#very excited to post chapter 1. the backgrounds are a lot better than the ones in the prolouge imo

[syrupyyyart]

In Motley is the hair ever a different shade from the body? Also I still remember when they were basically monorchromatic it’s so cool seeing how they’ve changed over time!

Hair is always the same color as their skin! Any new colors earned will only affect their outfits. ((Also thank you for sticking around so long oh my god??😭 ))

[avonne-writes]

Reading Weekend Reviews

As I mentioned before, I spent most of my free time this weekend reading instead of writing because I wasn’t feeling well. The stories I had a chance to read were all amazing and they made me feel better!

The stories discussed in this post: meet me at the chapel, Learning Curve (ch 1), if it feels like love (then it must be love) (ch 1-2), i feel so high school. (ch 1-2)

1. meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox

90s outlaws au, part of a series (I only read the first part so far, but can’t wait to continue!)

This was such a wild and raw ride. It leaves you with the illusion of the wind whipping through your hair, a dusty road ahead of you, and the sunset burning your cheeks as you chase a sense of freedom you long for. It’s sad, funny and sexy at the same time.

John is written as roguishly handsome, a characterization I really enjoy. He has an edge, but he’s warm, caring and flirtatious, charming even as an outlaw.

Gale is wounded and beautiful. He has a really sad background, and you keep rooting for him to find love and peace, and it's easy to sympathize with the fact that he feels safer being an outlaw and living homeless than locked into a life of hopelessness and abuse.

As usual, @swifty-fox does an amazing job immersing us in the atmosphere of the story. Every little detail contributes to the lasting impression that this fic leaves. I know I'll be thinking about it for a while.

2. Learning Curve (WIP, 3k) by @hogans-heroes

This is a new canon au WIP that describes life in the stalag from Alex Jefferson's POV.

First of all, I think the POV is brilliant! I love how fleshed out Alex’s character is in the first chapter already, and how his narration allows us to get to know Macon and Daniels more too. In addition, looking at John and Gale from an outsider POV is always fun and interesting. Oh, and the hints of DeMarco x Macon got me excited!

The first chapter sets up an intriguing conflict between John and Gale, and poor Gale is not doing too well (a feast for those who like Gale whump). I think all the characterizations are spot on, with Gale being quietly self-sacrificing and Bucky falling apart at the seams, belligerent like a caged dog.

The writing is in a delicate style that guides you gently through the story until (I expect in later chapters) you suddenly find yourself crying for the boys. With only one chapter in, it has a great set-up already, so I look forward to the upcoming updates!

3. if it feels like love (then it must be love) (WIP, 75k) by @ranger-elizabeth

This story is set in a modern au where Gale is a freshman at college and John is his RA. It’s almost finished (10/11 chapters), but I only had time to read the first two chapters (for now). This is the kind of work that steals your sleep because you can’t put it down, so be careful if you start reading this late at night!

The first chapter plunges you immediately into that familiar college atmosphere. It reminded me of my own struggle dragging two suitcases through the country without help. Gale's anxiety about fitting in, making connections and the loneliness he feels are all very relatable. It made my heart ache. I love this boy.

I really enjoyed the POV switch between John and Gale. Already after the first two chapters, I felt that it added to the fic and made it even more engaging. I love the side characters too, they’re well-written and entertaining.

I think it was interesting that Gale started out struggling academically. It made a lot of sense in his situation, and it made his character's struggles realistic with actual impact. Gale's perfectionistic thoughts sounded just like me. 😭

Gale's complicated relationship with his parents is painful, and his parents' behaviour makes you want to slap them. I liked the way this relationship was explored on-screen as well, not just referred to as a past situation.

John is really sweet, warm and cheerful, his character brightened my mood every time he appeared.

I'm only two chapters in, but I look forward to the rest!

4. i feel so high school. (WIP, 10k) by @anachilles

Physics teacher!Gale x Football Coach!John high school au. Two chapters out so far.

This fic is shaping up to be a real comfort read to me, because it's written with such amazing humour that it made me smile and snicker several times. The first two chapters have been lighthearted but also contained an interesting conflict between John and Gale, a falling out in their past.

One of my favourite things so far is how their dynamic is written. It shows perfectly how these two click, even after not staying in touch for a long time. I loved strict teacher Gale and fun coach John 😄 Another highlight is Scout (John's dog), I can’t wait to see more of her!

A detail that caught my interest about John is that he’s the first one in his family with college education. I'm curious if we see a bit more about how this might effect him. I'm also curious about his family's religiousness.

I loved the complex relationship between John and Gale, and that there are a lot of things unsaid between them while John is still clearly obsessed with Gale. It’s so endearing and very in character for him.

The second chapter left me aching for John to reconcile fully with Gale, so I'm excited to read what's coming next!

~♡~

I'm a bit sad that I haven't had time to read more, but I will read the remaining chapters of all of the WIPs in this list, they all got me hooked. I also plan to continue with this review series. Next on my list are That Ol' Devil Called Love, To the Moon and Back, yours always and understanding in a plane crash.

I can’t wait to continue exploring all the amazing fics in the fandom! ❤️

[partyhorn]

Have u ever posted your comic or animation workflow anywhere? Im super curious on how you tackle the process, especially not using a drawing tablet. I know you have a very simple (and adorable) style so that probably helps in terms of workflow -- Im just curious about the steps you take.

Thank you! With both comics and animation my key thing is to not spend too much time on any particular thing, just draw loose and fast. Honestly the only downside to drawing with a mouse is that I can tell my arm has extremely specific muscle memory regarding it- if my mouse breaks and I get a new one I have to spend a good month or so just letting my hand get used to it again lol. Same with if my setup gets readjusted too much- right now my setup is my mouse on one of those padded mousepads, on top of 2 books, with my elbow resting on my 3DS case (I'll get an actual pillow or something for it eventually lol). But luckily thanks to this I suffer very minimal wrist pain 👍

(...Okay I started to go really in depth in my process here, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking. Putting it under a readmore just to save space lol)

With MFM in particular, I start by writing out the entire script for the next story arc, which really is just all of the dialogue and vague notes about any important actions. Then I do the paneling with very loose stick-figure like sketches of where the characters are and what they're doing. I prefer having very little planning when it comes to character poses and panel shapes, coming up with those on the fly makes things much more exciting and faster to make. But it's the opposite with dialogue... it needs to be 100% FINAL before I draw a single line lol.

That's part of my script for my most recent chapter, as well as what my extremely loose goofy thumbnail sketching is like. I write the script as one big thing and don't separate it into pages until I actually start drawing- then I go and color change it just to keep track of what dialogue goes on each page

After that, I go back and do the ACTUAL sketch, as well as the lettering (I don't believe this is how it's done professionally. I used to do lettering as the very last step in the process... but then found it hard to cram speech bubbles in the right places lmao.) After that is lineart, coloring, background flat colors, then shading/rendering for all of it. I do each step in batches, as in I sketch out ALL pages of a chapter before moving to lineart, I line ALL pages before starting coloring, etc. I find it way easier to be productive when it's broken up like that, though when I first started the comic I used to draw each page to completion before starting the next (but also, the comic's style was DRASTICALLY simpler back then haha)

(Unfortunately I merged some of the shading to the background flat colors so it's not entirely accurate... oops) FireAlpaca has a sand texture feature that I only found out about last year- adding that to the backgrounds makes them look 10x better with WAY less effort.

With animation, it depends on the project. For simple 5-10 second animation I make for fun, there's very little planning lol. I skip some steps in the process- I'll sketch out the keyframes (and maybe any difficult inbetweens if necessary), line those, then go straight into making linework inbetweens. I'm not a cleanup artist and have no experience in that, so I always find trying to line my rough animation makes everything jittery and wobbly. If I do it with a clean line from the start then I can avoid that and save a lot of time 👍

For my bigger projects (such as the Parvey cartoon and the MFM Kickstarter trailer), I do the whole animatic with final audio first and foremost, with the animatic being almost like the keyframes. I split them up into individual shots, .mp4 files anywhere between 1-30 seconds usually, and animate those one at a time. I'm a huge fan of free to use programs and try to use them as much as I possibly can, here's a list of the ones I use:

FireAlpaca- for the actual drawing part itself (storyboarding/animating/etc). FireAlpaca has a feature that lets you export every frame as it's own drawing, as well as an onion skin mode

Windows Movie Maker- for compiling all of those frames into video format, creating individual shots. If you upload all of your frames and set them to around 0.08 seconds, it equals about 12fps (I usually animate at 0.10 seconds/10fps, its a bit slower but looks nice)

Onlinesequencer.net- for making music. It's the place I've made all of my songs on, like the timeloop song, hyperworkaholic, and the background music for the MFM Kickstarter trailer.

Audacity- for editing audio/music. Also great for recording things directly from your desktop

DaVinci Resolve- for editing and putting together all of the shots into one big video. Can get kind of intensive on the computer during rendering, so watch out.

YouCut (app)- also for editing and compiling shots, I used this one a lot a couple years back but I'm not sure how well it holds up. Doesn't need much phone storage to download but needs a lot to render videos.

MS Paint (yes really)- for typing up text. FireAlpaca has a text option but I don't like it as much as Paint's.

...The only thing I genuinely can't do alone is voice acting. Luckily there's a big voice acting community on Twitter and they're all amazing to work with!

This got... way more in depth than I planned for it to be, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking lol. But that's my general process when it comes to my art 👍

[bvannn]

Weekly Update March 1, 2024

I’m not doing the best this week but I’m also not doing the worst. I’ve not been sleeping well and I think it’s culminating today so slightly early update post just in case I fall asleep early tonight. I’ve had on and off moodiness and flareups but not a whole lot of surgery sickness, hoping next week will be the same. I think this week was a lot of semester stress, which makes it hard to take care of myself. I just ate three applesauces and next week is spring break, so I should have a bit of breathing room for more art stuff. Just in time for my art block to maybe be giving way. All I gotta do is get caught up on sleep, which I’ll try to start tonight.

So I’ve been trying to put more brain power into actual Oc story writing stuff this week. I have the little comic I’m working on in the background and that’s going a bit slower than I’d like but I’m still making progress and reviewing over it there’s fewer older pages needing redo than I’d thought. I’m also now officially through the second act of the episode/chapter/ w/e, so the third should move smoothly. Scenes are flowing nicer than I thought they would, generally going pretty good.

I also finally think my animation art block is giving way. Clip studio is good for flowier animation so I’d like to combine it with flash for any actual big animation projects I try to pick up but on it’s own it’s fine for smaller ones. I might do some more sketch style test animations for unfamiliar movements, and eventually I’ll need to do a test for one with lineart and color layers. The interface is not user friendly at all but I did figure out how to do it the way I had wanted. Not planning on doing any shaded animations though, shading will have to be done with after effects somehow. I’ll round up ideas for test animations tonight because I’m very headfoggy today so I doubt I’ll be able to throw music together.

I’ll definitely do a quick little gif for the bigger song I finished, I’ll try to get going on the next one, but for the time being I might finish up some half baked covers. I’ve fiddled with vocaloid more now, have two half finished vocal parts I’m using to test out how the English and Japanese banks work with English songs. Japanese bank is working better than I thought, but it’s annoying having to play with the dynamic and exciter settings for certain consonants, and the limited vowel selection also sucks, but it’s not like the English banks have basically the same issues too. I just need to play with settings a bit more, finish writing out the vocal parts (should basically be copy paste at this point, I’m already through one chorus of each), and throw together instrumentals to go with them, but I picked songs with simple instrumentals anyway, so it shouldn’t be too hard to get a skeletal structure ready, then I can fill it in with piano or violin because I can’t go two songs without either I’m addicted.

Music comic and animation are the main things I did this week but I am slowly getting my updated commission sheet together. I’ll probably start timing myself on smaller songs so I can try to add music options properly. Animation comms would be nice too but that’ll definitely be a ways off.

I did make unexpected progress writing an epithet TTRPG campaign, it’s like mostly structured, but maps minis and some encounters still need to get written. I might sit down to do that over break. I’m more certain now that I’ll need to take people online as players but I’ll wait until I’m closer to run before I make a google form for that

I’m going to try to either spend tonight with friends or go to bed early or both. I’m a bit worried about my body because flareups have been getting bad but tomorrow I don’t have to move my legs at all beyond doing laundry so I should be fine. If plans for both fall through I’ll either watch a movie or cartoon (I don’t do very often but if I indulge in media I can improve my writing skills) or draw or both. Tomorrow is walled off for homework though I don’t think I’ll be able to do much else.

[idleglowingpixels]

I Started Typing A Regular Post When Oops It Turned Into An Update Post (Mainly about MH-AU & XXY)

Just spent the last couple hours give-or-take on completing Cleo's profile, which I'm excited to be releasing later today! Her post is scheduled to release around noon EDT (I scheduled Lagoona's and it made things a lot easier to post her at a reasonable hour so I'm doing that from now on cause OH MY GOD :'D). She will be the last in the current set of character designs/bios I have prepared.

I have one teensy tiny more MH-AU goodie for Halloween before I get back to XXY full-time (dw I have been working on it in the background, progress has just been super slow cause I'm trying to finish the fic's outline). I will still be working on the MH-AU, don't get me wrong, just not as my top priority cause my PPG followers have been patient enough with me for more XXY content. I do plan on making another series of character design/bios, this time focusing on the mansters since they actually serve a purpose in the fics other than "the boyfriend" (Sorry they didn't do too much in a majority of the movies okay, I love them in the webisodes tho!). And once Cleo's post drops, I'll make a masterpost for the MH-AU since there's enough out now that I feel it necessary; keeps all the lore organized and junk. I'll have it linked in my general masterpost for quick access should anyone need it for reference. If they are updated at all later on, I'll make a post about it.

My current oneshot WIPs for the MH-AU are: - My equivalent to G1's New Ghoul @ School (tbh I might just use that name cause it's so iconic and I can't really come up with anything better lol), which might end up becoming a SMALL multichapter should it require that (3-6 Chapters max). There's a lot that goes on in Frankie's first week, more than the original series of mishaps unfortunately (poor Frankie :'D), and it also sets up a lot of stuff prior to the first week of school for them that I think is super important to their character. - Taking A Lycan To New Salem (Working Title), a short story about one of Clawdeen's human-side escapades gone wrong. (I want to talk about this one SO BAD but alas, it'll have to wait til I finish the fic. I'm already 1k words into it!) And I have several more in mind that I can't wait to write and share. Until then, I'll keep you guys posted!

(Random side note: I had no idea how many of these characters were gonna have a criminal record like holy shit dgfhgsddfg)

---

I've been in a super artsy mood so if I can manage to actually complete a sketch of the team, I really wanna post a drawing of XXY as a whole (I tend to ditch my sketches after 1-2 characters are drawn q-q). I also really wanna draw the "Normie Trio/3" as I call them, consisting of Robin, Mitch and Mike. I eventually wanna draw more characters that get redesigns from age, alterations in the case of the reboot villains, and such, but I think I just needed to get into the art mood again cause now I actually plan to do these things! :D

Also, while progress has been slow, I'm gonna assume from my current status that I'll be able to complete XXY's next batch probably around the end of this year, to be released in January. I'm so sorry to delay its release to January, but please understand I am really passionate about this story and wanna make it the best (and most fun) I can make it. And I'm not gonna go out and say "hey this is exactly how many chapters there'll be," but I might end up making about 70 chapters total including all the intermission/MultiPOV chapters, but that remains to be seen.

I do have good news for you guys, however; considering where the story is headed, I've realized I'm gonna need to throw in another intermission chapter at the end of this batch, with a new character's POV! They haven't shown up yet, and won't until that chapter, but believe me when I say I am VERY VERY excited to write it and I really love this character. The chapter name for them is super appropriate too lol.

While I'm here I'm gonna drop the chapter titles, as they don't really reveal anything. The previous theme was weather patterns, focusing on the coming and going of rain and shine. This one's flowers!

Chapter 8 - Gladiolus Chapter 9 - Hyacinth Chapter 10 - Spearmint Chapter 11 - Coriander Chapter 12 - Hibiscus Chapter 13 - Violet Chapter 14 - Jasmine Tobacco

Hope all the little tidbits I shared hold you guys over and get you excited for the coming months. Thanks as always for your patience!

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[madeofcc]

OCTOBER UPDATE 🎃

Hellow everyone 👻

Finally, October is here and the spooky season that belongs to it ! Simblreen is turning slowly but surely in spooky mode and I already love to see some great content on my dash. As usual, this is a little post about what's going to happen during this month on this page. You'll find more info about Another Side in the blog update part.

Feel free to read or ignore this but always take very good care of you ♥

Also, thanks a lot to all of you for being here and remember, you're not alone ... This season in particular 👀

Life update : A hell lot happened in a month. I usually love September but this one was probably one of the hardest month of my life. To be short, after 6 months of full implication and hard work, I got fired after a burn out at work. I'm also living with my ex for almost a year now and it has become harder and harder to feel good living together. To be honest, I spend my nights crying these days so I'm fully commited to my sims story this month in order to have some kind of escape. Anyway, I guess that's all, sorry for being that negative this month, I'll get better don't worry. Here comes the blog update anyway :) More fun inside this one.

Blog update : Another Side is starting tomorrow 🎃

I'm soooo happy to see the little hype around this story and I can tell you that it's the one I've been putting so more efforts into it for now. The chapters are a bit longer than usually, I'm really trying to create the best cinematic experience for you dear readers. I made a little poll this week to check your desire about this story and the posting around it. So far, those who voted mainly voted for half a chapter a day so I guess that's what I'll do, but I reserve myself the right to post the entire chapter if it's a short one (like 2 parts).

The intro is already here in 2 parts, Chapter 1 will be called "Yuki" and will be 4 parts long. Tomorrow, October 1st, I'll post 2 parts of this chapter, the first one dropping at midnight (Paris time) and the other one a little bit later during the day. I'll make a timezone reblog and you'll get part 3 and 4 Sunday. Not all chapters will include 4 parts so I can't already tell you how many chapters there will be nor how many parts they will include. For now, the only thing I can tell you is that I'm trying to write it like a serie and so far, ep 1 to 3 include 7 chapters each so ... This should give you an idea. It should also go through October and November I think. Maybe a bit more if the story is longer than planned.

About Simblreen, I'm super excited for the event but I'm still thinking whether or not participating fully this year. For now I still have to fix my topaz clean on Photoshop (everything is installed correctly but nothing appears on Photoshop anymore, it worked fine 2 days ago U_U) but if I have the time I'd love to share some presents ! So far, I'm thinking of some CAS spooky backgrounds and also a new set of horror posters. Expect at least some new posters (who said A24 HORROR ?!) and if I have the time (and energy), some CAS backgrounds then.

About DH, don't worry my loves, Destiny and all should be back for some edits around the end of the year but the story will be officially back in 2023 for a full DH year 😍 I've planned a lot, including a casting call so be prepared !

And I think that's all ! As usual, thank you so much for reading this and for being here. You all are a daily strenght you don't even know 😊

Take very good care of you, enjoy a looooot this spooky season as much as I do (only for the medias part, otherwise, please October be nicer than September who was hell !) and always remember that you're not alone ♥

[annyankers]

Miss World     (1/??)

Rated: T Words: 3,603

Relationships: kinda background Buffy/Angel

Summary:

Once upon a time we were one snake, with one head, one body and two sharp teeth. Once you cut a snake in half it grows another head. Once it grows another head, it heals, becomes two snakes. Once upon a time there was only one of us. When your body is a mirror, there is no word for individual. Is there one word for two snakes? Twin. — Cara Parravani

No one would say that the Summers girls ever did things the expected way, being the first twin slayers on record was just the most blaring example— and the most destructive to their lives. After months of separation post-gym fire family blow out and in the aftermath of The Divorce fate opts to bring them back together in the small Totally Very Normal town of Sunnydale.

Preview:

Buffy was practically vibrating with anxiety and excitement. The move from LA to Sunnydale was heartbreaking, she was homesick for the city she was born in already even after all the bad things that had happened in the last year. But it did mean one majorly huge thing:

Brooke was coming home.

Brooke had been a ghost haunting all of them since she’d runaway after the blowout with Dad when he’d raided their rooms after they’d burned down the school gym and found drugs in Brooke’s. Buffy hadn’t even realized she’d had them and Brooke had never said. When their dad lost his shit on her about it Brooke just—left.

 It had been super ugly, he’d said a lot of terrible things and Brooke was stubborn, she could keep a grudge or commit to a rash decision better than any of them. So she’d stormed out and hadn’t come back. For months.

Read the chapter on AO3

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Did I wanna have WAY more of this done before I’d posted? Yeah. Do I care anymore? Not really. So here’s the first chapter! (the preface about some characterizations kldfjghskljfd)

[lady-eny]

Title: Time to Time (1/?)

Some tags: Canon compliant, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Minor Mikenana, Veterans, Canon-typical violence, Character Study, Love to hate, Hate to love, Mutual pining

Summary:

When Hange met Levi, little did she know everything that would come after.

Not just titans and the end of the world, but their own personalities, problems, and not to mention those developing feelings none of them want to acknowledge.

Over time their relationship changes, for good and worse. But at the end they always come back to each other.

It’s only a matter of time. 

—AKA the LeviHan journey. From meeting to friends, to something more, to hating each other (or do they?), to rekindling their relationship, etc. —

Cross-posting on: AO3

Other Chapters: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Notes:  ✨THANK YOU FOR READING!!! Feedback is always very much appreciated.

Chapter 1: Strangers to Comrades

Humans tend to gather; it’s their nature. Isn’t it strange, then, how they choose to do so?

It’s the most fascinating phenomenon, the way connections are forged. Two people from different backgrounds and abysmally different personalities, one day meet and, suddenly, something inside themselves recognize each other as like-souled.

But that’s only the surface. In truth, those who end on good terms are alike on the inside, share more than anyone else—whereas views of the world or just their kindness within.

Whether they know it or not.

 Year 844.-

Life is… quiet. Sometimes so quiet that Hange can’t help talking louder, to fill the void. Her mind is never in silence, though, but as noisy as her surroundings currently are.

Most of the Survey Corps are preparing for the next expedition, which is going to be a big one. They’re cleaning wagons, brushing the hundreds of horses, and loading enough provisions for a couple of days out.

Returning from outside, Hange meets a lot of activity, and the smell of hundreds of people running in the heat of the day. For her part, she’s sunstroke and her clothes dirty by the ground—she just had to look at those flower buds from close, no matter what!

Her veins are thrilling with excitement! So much that she wants to yell out loud how precious those flowers are, and explain in detail how she managed to make them grow. What a great help they’ll be to the Hospital Wing! Her experiments proved a success, as they shouldn’t be able to bloom in this kind of soil.

Vibrating with this knowledge, she approaches a group of two men and a woman resting in a corner. They are quiet and pensive, but stiffen instantly at the sight of her coming. When it’s clear that she is, indeed, routing to them, they look around in a panic.

“Hey!” Hange taps the shoulder of one of them, a tall brown-headed corp whose name, she struggles to recall. “How are y’all?!” They don’t answer, instead look somewhere behind her. “Mmm, I’ve been great, too! You can’t imagine what I just discovered, there are these—”

“Sairam! I was looking for you!” The brown-headed runs away, and the remaining two link their stares. Hange widens her eyes to them, in what she intends to be a hopeful gaze—one that ends up being ignored.

“Geez, I wanted to tell her something, too!”

“Wha—?! Wait for me!”

Hange watches them scurry and, in the split of a second, her smile wavers a little. Only a little and only for one second. Then, it spreads wider as she lays her back on the wall to scan the hall. She locates Nana’s blond hair at the other side and walks toward her with long strides. Nana always hears her out, even if by the end of Hange’s talk, she’s barely awake.

But a couple of steps from her friend, Hange comes to a halt. Nana is sitting on Gelgar’s lap, talking vividly to him while he looks away, in the direction of a group of grinning girls.

So they came back together again, ah? Hange thinks, and her shoulders deflate. Better not to intrude there.

At Nana’s left, Erwin stands straight, explaining something to Mike’s ears in front of a map. Mike nods with arms crossed to his chest, but every now and then he glances back and scowls at Gelgar’s obvious disregard. That, at least, is such a familiar view—as familiar as the faces of the other corps, when Hange comes closer to them. They are good people, truly. Hange knows it, and most of the time, they’re happy to see her. But when she’s so clearly trying to talk about one of her projects, everyone hurries to disappear from her path.

If only they could open their minds to the millions of possibilities out there, how amazing that’d be!

She could go and join Erwin’s lecture, but she has already heard it so many times. Even helped him by perfecting the details of the new formation he proposed.

Her enthusiasm has left her completely, therefore she sighs, moving through the barracks in search of new ideas to arise.

It isn’t a big deal, anyway, just a medicinal plant that could speed the healing process of the injured. Other ideas, bigger and far more interesting—the ones concerning walls and formations and weapons—wander through her head, but these are better saved to herself. After all, the times she’s shared them, the response hasn’t been that great, so they mustn’t be that outstanding, either. Not even worth a mention.

There isn’t a sound around, and the silence transforms into a force that presses her entire body.

This feeling in which her body feels so small it’s so common, that it doesn’t stand out enough to be called by name. The quietness that it carries is suffocating. Ever since being a child, it has been Hange’s faithful companion, thus she has never minded it—not when it crept to her chest as she studied alone in her childhood room; nor when she left that house to join the Survey Corps. And not even when she came back from her first mission, after all her first friends fell one by one like flies smashed in titan’s hands.

The air weights heavier, and her pulse races. It’s quiet, and this kind of silence is devoid of life. Hange takes the ribbon of the necklace that hangs from her neck, pulling it so much that it binds the skin of her nape. The end of the corridor she’s strolling down comes, along with two strange voices she doesn’t recognize.

Somehow, these voices drive the lull in her ears away, allowing her to breathe deeply. She supports herself on the wall, and the sound continues booming. Recovered, she hides behind a column and peeks out, curiosity compelling her to watch.

At a far corner, a man kneels in front of a girl.

“You should watch your feet more, idiot,” the man says, his voice acquiring a soft tone. Very different from the one he used at introducing himself, hours ago. Hange frowns… Levi, that’s the name. And the girl is Isabel, who joined the corps with him and another man, named… something with an F.

Levi pats Isabel’s feet with care.

“I do! The ground here feels so different, I ain’t used to it just yet!”

He shakes his head and jumps to his feet. “We should come back to Furlan, or he’ll start looking without us.”

Looking for what? Hange wonders and pushes her glasses up with a finger, but forgets about it as soon as the question reaches her. Her mind occupies itself with other things, like of that short man, who wears an upset look and uses cutting words.

She isn’t foreign to the gossips rolling around. He scared and pissed off her peers, and terribly so. Some even proceeded to save away their belonging, claiming that “those rats from the underground” came here to steal them.

Hange didn’t pay much attention—her experiment was at such a crucial moment!—but now that she thinks about it, it all seems a little exaggerated, and cruel. What if they come from that place? How is that relevant to state if they’re good or bad? More so, the image painted to her at the Mess Hall doesn’t align with what she just saw.

Levi seems nice, and so interesting! A little grumpy, yes, but not a criminal monster deserving of so many bad words. He is, at the very least, more than what meets the eye. And her favorite thing in the world is figuring stuff out.

When they are out of sight, she goes to the bunk she shares with Nana, the last one in a row of a dozen. Climbs to her bed—the one at the top—and starts packing, mind never drifting from Levi.

He looks like a good friend, and Erwin said he was a natural with the ODM gear, maybe he—

Her hands stop mid-action, and her stomach churns. He may be good, excellent perhaps, but neither he nor his friends hold proper training. If she’s learned something in her time here, is that even the best ones die. Death is beyond reason. Unpredictable. Titans, she mouths with hate permeating her words.

This expedition is going to be a decisive one for them, as the first one usually is. Hange has no personal reason to want them to make it out, but hopes still while finishing saving her uniforms in a bag.

And she keeps hoping still, as they free themselves from the walls and meet the fresh air of the field.

  ***

  They stink. That was Levi’s first thought when he entered the hall where the Survey Corps are. His nose wrinkled at the odor they emanated from their nasty, sweaty bodies. The almost collapsed castle they’re staying in out of the walls also stinks, smelling old and humid.

Disgusting.

There are people all around, faces without a name that Levi doesn’t care enough to learn. He won’t stay for much time, anyway. No one offered sympathy or a welcoming word, but he doesn’t mind it at all. These pigs despise them and look down at them, so they aren’t worthy of his time. Even if they’re right, and he’s unsuitable to this place—Levi smooths his clothes and ignores the hot flashes that come with every minimizing stare—they’re still pricks for saying it. He isn’t deaf to their insults, but even in the underground he got disparaging looks, so it’s no matter. He just hopes Isabel won’t hear them.

At a far corner, a woman with short blond hair is yelling at a man with brown hair in a pompadour. He looks ridiculous, even more with his flushed cheeks as he yells back to the woman. Levi scowls. These corps also bring their drama to work.

Gross.

Very close to the fighters, that bastard sits. He’s reading some papers, and Levi wonders if they could be the ones they’re looking for, the ones they need to steal. Next to him sits a person with glasses, a messy ponytail, and a big smile spread over her face. She moves her hands from side to side while talking, like an over-energized child.

Levi returns his attention to the conversation with his friends, but suddenly the light disappears. He tilts his head up in confusion. And there she is, the four-eyes who just a minute ago was talking with Erwin, the light behind her contrasting and sharpening her thin silhouette. She came along with her big smile and shining eyes, mere inches away from his face.

What shocks him the most are her words.

“I was watching you… at the crucial moment!” Something dangerous to say, but she soon proves to not be talking about spying on their illicit activities. Rather, she’s… excited, and it’s because of him. Hange Zoe, she introduces herself. “It was really outstanding!”

She doesn’t seem to be potentially dangerous as of now. But she’s disruptive, nevertheless. Hange appeared right at his nose like personal space didn’t exist at all. She smelled funny—like earth and trees and nature—for a lack of a better word. As he looks at her eyes, he detects something that freezes his senses. In them, there is… nobility. Where Levi comes from, that kind of look isn’t seen frequently; not without its shades, and never as unadulterated as hers.

He composes himself in a blink, and tries to ignore the sugary words from her mouth.

Her smile never leaves. “I’d like to hear the secret of that strength…”

No. Engaging could bring a lot of unwanted stuff. Caring for these awful people isn’t his task here. Best to avoid unnecessary interactions altogether.

She leaves without prying more, but Levi can’t shake the feeling that she’s looking at them. Neither can he forget the openness of her stare. Levi closes his eyes and reminds himself of his mission. The papers, kill that bastard, get the hell out of here to never see these people again.

Protecting and keeping his friends from any harm, above all. Giving them a home far from that trash pit in the underground, the one they want so badly.

That’s all he desires.

  ***

  It was just the first part of the expedition, but from what she saw, Levi isn’t a natural at vertical maneuvering. He is a prodigy. His body moves so fast and with so much precision and agility, that Hange couldn’t avoid getting mesmerized. She stopped and opened her mouth in delight, despite being among titans and the danger that comes with them.

He sliced napes as if he’d been doing it since birth, and his technique is something she’s never seen before. Hange can’t wait to see it again, to separate every little detail for further study and try to replicate it. If they learn from him, the possibility of freeing humanity seems closer.

But he wasn’t aware of that fact.

“It was incredible!! I boiled over with excitement in spite of myself!!” She exclaimed, containing all her enthusiasm in her eyes. Her gaze met his and he looked shocked at first. In his silver-blue iris she could make out an emotion stirring inside, but his eyes closed off as soon as she saw it, an uncomfortable face taking place.

She tried to talk more to him, of course, and even won her friend over with a treat. But more than flattered, he seemed bothered by her praises. What a weird person Levi is—yet fascinating, all the same. He self-taught himself, and speaks so roughly!

Hange doesn’t even realize everyone stood up from the table until Nana waves a hand in front of her eyes, and Hange blinks out of her thoughts.

“What are you into, now? You were far away from here.”

Hange exhales and her fingers start drumming on the rough surface of the table. She stares at the stone roof of the ruined castle they chose as a refuge. The night is here, and tomorrow will carry another day full of danger. She studies the further side of the hall, where Levi and his two friends sit, whispering, and wary of the others.

They’ll be fine, she tells herself. They already made it here, and successfully. They’ll come back alive.

She nods to herself and builds a smile to face Nana, whose eyes are red by how much she cried hours ago, after yet another fight with Gelgar.

Hange summons her good mood back. “I was wondering if my flower buds…”

At the back of her head, she isn’t that happy. More than ever, she hopes they’re the exception, and that they make it back alive.

No matter how many meals she has to invite them afterward.

  ***

  There’s blood in his body. Covering his skin, dripping from his clothes. And it’s his, but also theirs. Titan’s blood evaporates, but it leaves a part of its filth behind. It only makes the real blood stand out more brightly, clearer in its statement.

It says it loudly, mocks him in its reddish shade.

And he answers in resignation: yes, he’s all alone again. Yes, even after all this time, people still leave to never glance back at him. It means that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t make people stay, can’t keep them safe. Everyone goes and leaves him alone—air is suddenly insufficient for his lungs.

Is he so bad, that he can’t keep even his best friends by his side?

Tiredness weights in every bone, every muscle. His mind is numb. Dead. He left his life in the field; his friends, his only family. There’s barely anything else of him.

His heart feels so heavy that he drops his gear and falls to the stone floor with a thud. Everyone else is inside, the noise of their talks floating to his ears, but he hardly makes sense of it, in the fog he’s into. The smell of death doesn’t disappear from his nostrils, and he absently wonders if it ever will. He isn’t even able to glance up at the night sky, as his neck aches. Not that he wants to, either way.  

A pair of tired shoes appear in front of him, but Levi doesn’t really see them, too lost in his own head as he is. A very, very small part of him, though, acknowledges them, knows it’s her. For the smell—that somehow replaces the lifeless one in his nose—mainly, but also from something else his weary mind can’t stop to decipher. Like energy surrounding her entire being, bringing some kind of warmth along with her, wherever she goes.

Hange crushes right next to him, close enough that her shoulder meets his, close enough that her weird smell engulfs him and sweeps away the fog that was trapping him. She sighs, and moves her hands doing… something. He doesn’t see, but paper sounds later, she sets a piece of meat in his cold hands, and then a cup of tea clicks when placed on the ground in front of him.

“I heard you like it,” she says.

Levi commits to ignore her thoroughly. He wants her to go away and be left alone. The desire to insult her and tell her to piss off is here, but not the energy to speak.

At his silence, she talks again, as if he gave her tacit permission to continue.

“My first night after coming out was… horrible.” A beat. “I had just made these incredible friends. We were in the same squad, and so excited. They were amazing, with so much potential. They all scored much more than me. I don’t know why or how, but I was the only one who sur—vived.” Her words break almost at the end, and Levi’s gaze darts to her face.

Her eyes are closed, squeezed. Illuminated by the moonlight, her skin is kind of silver. As if not realizing her movements, her hand pulls and fidgets with a necklace around her neck. It’s a simple black cord with a bird charm stained by ink.

Hange continues. “I thought, there must be a reason, right?” She opens her eyes and turns to him, actually asking him.

He avoids her face and looks at his hands, which are almost white and feeling dull. The piece of meat they carry gives them heat, something to hold onto, and he stiffens his grip on it.  

She doesn’t wait for an answer. “I didn’t find a reason. Now I think it’s just luck…” She raises her tone. “But luck is such an illogical concept, don’t you think?” Hange puts two fingers on her mouth and looks up. Bites her fingernail, eyes gaining a removed air. “Luck must not be it… what else, then? Mmm. Once I read an ancient book about destiny, except that’s also an unreliable theory. But what if there was a way to prove it? Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

Hange keeps talking and talking and talking to no end, about life, experiments, science…

Is she ever going to fucking shut up? He thinks while a pulse stabs his head, growing up a headache.

However, he occasionally finds himself looking at her like she’s the most abnormal thing he’s ever seen—which she probably is. Here and there he catches some of her words and, surprising himself, he takes the time to think about them. Why is he here, from all of them? Why did he live when they died? He rubs a hand over his face.

“They aren’t gone,” she blurts out, solemn. “It’s impossible. Nothing ever gets completely destroyed. They’re just somewhere else.”

Levi abruptly remembers why he’s here, filthy and chilled to the bone. The pressure in his chest grows, and with a hand he tightens the cloth over it to keep the pain from knocking him down. He wishes to find some relief in her words, in the idea of them not disappearing like that. But he can’t. The notion is too sweetened for his life.

He takes a sip of the now cold tea and stares up. The sky is the same it was yesterday; as bright, wide, and starry. It feels wrong, that there isn’t any visible change when everything has changed to no repair. Isabel and Furlan would have never got tired of this view. They should be the ones here, appreciating its never-ending beauty.

Next to him, Hange stirs to a better position and starts talking about something else. He lays his head onto the wall behind him, and closing his eyes, shuts off her words. Still, he keeps her murmur as a background, relaxing sound, in which he falls asleep.

  ***

  Levi didn’t know at first sight, but there’s something wrong with Hange Zoe.

She’s annoying as hell. And grabby. And so, so loud. Levi scowls, seeing her from behind the rim of his cup of tea while she paces, rambling and gesturing with her hands.

“This place is BIG! We could be harvesting our own food if they would just listen for a full minute and—”

Ever since coming back from his first expedition, she’s been following him all around. And with all around, it means all. He still remembers how his heart stopped dead when, days ago, he got out of the bathroom to crash with her. She was waiting for him, a somewhat scary smile over her face. A shiver ran down his spine and he was tempted to run away. Only his strong will allowed him to remain still.

He wished he hadn’t, when she started going on about his peeing schedule.

Hange talks to him and smiles and sometimes even touches his arm. That’s the way she is, though—he realized, at observing her with the others. The difference is that he’s the only one never replying to any of her words. He just stays there, listening and calming his exasperated brain.

Levi has told her to fuck off, in a million different ways. Nothing works. Does she purposely ignore him, or is she really unaware of how hated her presence is? As he doesn’t have much more to do with his free time and she’s always near, he scrutinizes her. Tries to decipher her hidden intentions. He feels a little self-conscious because of that, but for his life, he can’t understand her. Why does she keep talking to him? How is it humanly possible to talk that much? Does she ever bathe?

All the same, no matter what he does, Hange appears to not care about his silence or bad faces. She keeps sharing her research on the earth, plants, and animals. Even asks for his wellbeing on a daily basis—why does she give a crap about that?

And she always, always, comes back, all twenty times he has stood up and left her mid-sentence, in hopes that she’ll get the clue. Of course that has never happened, so he has started expecting her rolling around.

He sips his tea and enjoys the savor for a few seconds, yet it soon gets tainted by bitterness. It’s not like he’s any special, actually. Hange is friendly with every single breathing being and talks to everyone as much as she can. Still, most of the time she chooses him, and that’s what Levi can’t fathom.

Why? What does she want from him? He doesn’t have anything she can take away. She must be looking for a way to harm him, but… how is asking about his favorite meal related to that? How is it going to affect him? Deep down he knows he’ll end up wounded, he just can’t pinpoint how, yet.

She finishes talking and sighs, cheeks flushed by her rant.

“Anyway, it’s lunchtime, we better get going…”

Hange strides to the Mess Hall, and Levi follows her at a secure distance. He takes his food and finds an empty table to sit at. For her part, Hange approaches Mike—a big, scruffy man who looks like a bear and sniffs at people (the first time he did it to Levi, he almost punched that big nose). She puts an arm on the Bear’s shoulders and laughs widely, her eyes dancing through the room… until they connect with Levi’s.

He turns his head instantly. Focuses on his meal.

But alas, it’s too late.

She lands next to him and places her elbows on the table.

“Can I bring Mike, Nana, and Erwin to our table?” Our table? What the—? “They’re good guys!” She puts a hand on her chest and raises the other one, “I swear. So…?”

“No.”

He’s been silent all day long, but she isn’t surprised at hearing his voice, now. Instead, her smile grows bigger, as if she expected that answer from the very beginning.

“C’mon! We’re here alone, with so much space, and they want to know you!”

“Why?”

“Mmm… clearly because you’re gentle!”

Levi almost chokes with her words. He would have thought she was joking if not for the unwavering of her face. How can she think that, for real?!

“I’m not gentle,” he hisses. Stabs his rice with a fork, as if to prove it.

Hange grins and stands up. “I’ll take that as a yes.” And she just goes away.

He carves his forehead, blending the food in his plate with the fork. Hange Zoe will kill him one day. He’s sure of it.

Voices arise, louder and louder with every passing second. He’s surrounded. His shoulders tense up when he finds himself trapped between noisiness and bodies. Hange takes the same spot next to him and dedicates him a smile. His answer is a deeper scowl, so deep that the muscles of his face complain and start aching.

Erwin sits in front of him with a fun expression, putting his half-empty plate on the table. The blondie girl—Nanaba, he guesses—sits at the other side of Levi; the sniffer bear, at Erwin’s left.

They don’t look any uncomfortable, as if shifting their table in the middle of a meal was the usual.

Hange, ignoring the angry waves Levi’s sending in her direction, makes sure to keep the conversation going, never losing her warmth. Blondie occasionally gives Levi an apologetic smile, but otherwise, they talk as if he wasn’t there, which is a relief.

“Oh, Levi! I didn’t tell you before, but Nana is especially good at making tea, maybe you can drink hers someday, and…”

Levi internally groans and crosses his arms, waiting for them to go so he can eat his now cold food alone. His posture remains rigid, but he stays there, unmoving even when the others finish eating and start leaving.

“I’ll check the garden really quick, but I’ll be back soon!” Hange exclaims, waving him goodbye.

As if I cared whenever you come and go. Levi exhales and massages his temples.

“How have you adjusted to the barracks?” Erwin asks. He has finished eating but isn’t making any move to leave. In fact, he reclines on the chair, relaxed.

Levi shrugs. The Survey Corps are what he expected. They don’t talk to him, and he pays them doing the same. It’s peaceful like that—when Hange is busy with her research, at the very least.

What he didn’t expect was to see that the majority of the corps think like Erwin. They do believe in dedicating their hearts and their everything to save humanity from the titans. Even when he dislikes them, Levi can’t avoid the tug in his chest at their conviction. He too wants to do his best, following that ideal.

“I see you’re doing well. Hange… she’s one of a kind, isn’t she?” A smile dangles at the corner of Erwin’s lips.

One of a kind? Yeah, you could say that—but Levi would never do so with the hint of affection present in Erwin’s voice. One of a kind in a bad way, he concludes.

“You two seem to be pretty close?” Erwin questions. Takes a sip from his glass, eyeing Levi sideways at the same time.

Levi’s stomach hardens and he lifts an eyebrow, glaring at the man in front of him. Truly, he’s at a loss for words. How can these people misread him so damn wrong?

Erwin explains. “Every time I see you, you two are together. I’m glad that you have made friends here, and so fast.”

“She pesters me all day long, better said.” Levi takes his spoon and tastes the soup. It’s cold and salty, but slides down his body smoothly. Not the worst he’s eaten.

“You can always ask her to stop talking to you if you hate it so much.”

“Already done that.”

“Surely you weren’t that clear.”

“Tsk.” Levi glances up from his plate. Erwin’s gaze is firm on him, frowning. Levi wants to tell him that blatantly stating it would be too harsh, even for him, but ends up saying nothing. He can’t shake the sensation that Erwin is seeing something he doesn’t want him to—and worst, he doesn’t even know what that something is.

Erwin finally drops his gaze and tilts his head to the side, his tone casual. “You wouldn’t be the first one to say it to her face, nor the last one. So, feel free to do it, she’ll understand and will be fine. Eventually.”

The last word makes Levi’s neck straighten. By the way Erwin said it, he implied that Hange hasn’t been immediately fine before, and that suits Levi in a bad way. It just feels wrong, to imagine that face of her anything but fine and happy—and being the reason for it.

She isn’t as bad as to wish hurt in her eyes.

A single question sits in his head. It has been lingering and torturing him to no avail, and he doesn’t have it in him to keep it inside for much longer. He utters it harshly. “What does she want from me?”

He can’t understand and it’s killing him slowly. He never considered himself a paranoid person until she appeared and started acting so amiable, without reason. Everyone has an aim behind their actions, is thriving to get something for themselves. Is it money? He has none. That secret trick she wanted to know, the one to get better? He doesn’t know it and already told her so. What, then? He almost breaks his façade and pulls his hair out in exasperation.

“Want from you? What do you mean?” Erwin scratches his forehead when it gets obvious that Levi won’t elaborate. “Well, why don’t you ask her? Hange is the most honest person I’ve ever met. If you ask her, she’ll tell you. But”—Erwin leans in— “I can tell you that she’s a good person. More than most of us here, if not all.”

Levi thinks about it, a tingling bothering the skin of his nape. It’s not like it hasn’t crossed his mind, the possibility of her just being kind. But how could that be possible? No, there must be something else he’s missing. Maybe some of his underground enemies found about his whereabouts and are paying her to spy on him… Fine, that may be too unrealistic.

It doesn’t take long for her to come back, face reddish and sweaty after being outside. Her butt settles next to Levi and she empties Erwin’s glass in one gulp.

Erwin stands up. “Hange, I have to talk with you later. Come to my room in the afternoon.”

“… Sure. I’ll go later!” Hange says. A wrinkle appears between her eyebrows when Erwin is out of reach. “What does he have to say?” she mutters under her breath, more to herself than to Levi. He clears his throat to call her attention. “Oh, sorry. You were saying?”

With her right next to him, the question tastes weird—too awkward to let out. And yet…

“What do you want from me?”

“Uh?” She moves her head around. He only shifts on his seat. “Want… from… you,” she repeats, trying to make sense of it. Levi remains silent, waiting for her to figure it out. After a minute, her face showers in understanding. “I want to be your friend. What else could I want?”

He meets her gaze, searching for anything that could give her away, show the lie within. But he finds nothing of that. Her eyes are round behind her glasses, open and sincere.

She means it.

Could that be true? Could she really be just… kind?

… she’s a good person. More than most of us here, if not all, Erwin’s voice resounds in Levi’s head.

Weeks ago, he decided to follow Erwin and trust his view, to chase the same purpose. Maybe he should trust him with this, too.

After all, Hange may not be that bad.

  ***

  Erwin’s words don’t leave Hange’s mind, as much as she wants to forget them.

You’ll never see the fruits, if you only bring the seeds to not let them grow.

Always count on Erwin to say the kind of analogy perfect to resonate to her very core. It’s not like she wants to stop anything from growing. Her ideas and research—the discoveries that come from them—are her precious babies. Of course she wants them to succeed, to let them be helpful to humanity. It isn’t that simple, though.

“It’s a good chance,” Erwin said from his desk when she hurried to his room, a couple of days ago. He shot her a look that was, quite obviously, meant to persuade her. “If they approve, we could take a step closer into this fight.”

If they approve. If her ideas are good enough for that. If those very ideas don’t force them to step further from victory.

A rough and loathing voice echoed in her ears.

I doubt these ideas could take anyone anywhere but their grave.

Hange hadn’t heard it in years, but would never forget it. The words traveled through her body like a virulent shiver, making her throat close itself in a tight knot. For a moment, she only wanted to run away, to never have come to Erwin’s room. Instead of that, she squared her shoulders and got rid of the words, the voice, and their meaning as much as she was able to.

“They wouldn’t,” she limited to say, sitting on Erwin’s bed. She folded her arms onto her chest, secure of, at least, her proclamation.

“We have to keep trying.”

“How did you even manage to convince them to hear me out?”

Hange never expected to encounter another chance. The memory from the last time she yielded and went with him to Mitras still stings. The look from everyone there, how they practically laughed at her proposition, their words like knives shredding her already raw heart…

Erwin must have moved many pieces, for them to be open to a second round. She certainly wasn’t.

Erwin smirked. “Commander owed me a favor.”

“Oh no, you didn’t gamble with Shadis while drunk again, right?” She gasped at his silence. “Right?”

His blue eyes shined, but he returned to a serious tone almost immediately. “This time, we can say it in a way they’ll be willing to accept.”

She shook her head. “It’s better if you go alone and propose it yourself.”

“It’s your idea, not mine.”

It is. Hange pinched her lips together. And if it ends up being a bad one, I’d be forever regretful at making Erwin take the blame.

Her ideas are great. Hange knows that and wants to prove it.

But… her stomach twisted against herself. She closed her eyes and inhaled. “I don’t think I’ll have time that day,” she breathed out.

Erwin studied her for a minute. “Alright,” he complied, slowly. “In case you change your mind, a spot for you will be free in the carriage until I leave.” His gaze met hers, firm and sure. “You’ll never see the fruits, if you only bring the seeds to not let them grow.”

She nodded and fled from the room, legs trembling.

Erwin left an hour ago, and she didn’t go with him. Which instead of getting a weight off of her shoulders, only made them heavier. Almost unbearable.

“Is a poop stuck in you?”

It takes her a moment to resurface from her mind’s coil, and build an answer to Levi, who stands under the spice cupboard upon the wall.

“I never have that kind of problem, thank you very much.” She must have been acting weirdly (more than usual) for Levi to ask that—the first time he does, that she can tell. Hange still can’t tear her mind from the carriage traveling to the capital, featuring a cold, empty seat placed for her, when she says, “We should go out.”

A storm is hitting branches against the barracks’ walls and windows, the wind whistling with violence. Through the kitchen’s window she can see the black clouds swirling, darkening the sky regardless of the early hour.

Levi, who has been scrubbing a stain from the table for the last minutes, arches a brow. He’s, after all, a man of few words, even when he’s started speaking lately, and scowling a little less deeply. She quickly interprets his gesture as a “why the hell would I want to go out, with so many good stains to clean?” or “are you so blind that you don’t see the sky falling out of the window?”—maybe with harsher words, but she senses the point, nonetheless.

Honestly, the corps would stop calling her weird if they knew Levi better.

Not that they want to, unfortunately.

Hange sighs and lays her cheek onto the cold, wood table—which in her opinion, is already clean enough. A lemony aroma floats to her nose and she smiles; somehow, Levi always smells like this, and seems to leave this very scent everywhere. Although that may have something to do with him cleaning everything he lands his eyes on.

She’s oh-so-bored, and it’s raining outside, so no gardening to ease her mind. She could go looking for Nana, or perhaps—

“THAT RAT MUST BE THE ONE WHO STOLE IT!” a female voice yells from out of the kitchen. Hange’s body tenses up.

A man’s voice leaks inside. “Yes! I knew it the moment he arrived! He smelled like filth.”

She sees Levi’s muscles contracting, sees him using more force than necessary to rub the now perfectly smooth table, the wince he tried to conceal. She sees it and it sends fire through her veins.

Eyes bulging to the exit, Hange jumps to her feet and stomps to the source of such odious claims. She makes a move to storm out, but when the door is merely an inch opened, Levi shoves it closed in her face with a bang. His palm outstretches on the door’s surface, pushing and forcing it to remain sealed.

“Why—?”

“What are you doing?” He snaps.

Excellent question. What was she about to do?

“I was just going to talk to them,” she says through her teeth, glaring still. Maybe some fists and blood would follow up, but she can’t predict those kinds of things.

“About?” The tone reveals nothing, his neutral features flawlessly into place.

“How they shouldn’t spread lies like that!” She emphasizes it with a kick to the floor.

Levi blinks rapidly once, twice. Thrice. It’s the only indicator of his inside. “How do you know it’s a lie?”

Hange scraps a hand over her face, tapping her foot onto the floor. “I just do.”

Every second he doesn’t let her open the door, the less likely to find the ones who said those hateful comments. He probably knows it.

“It’s none of your business.”

If possible, that only makes the flames in her body burn more fiercely.

“Of course it is! You’re my friend! No one likes hearing shit about their friends!”

He stiffens and turns his back to her, remaining immobile for a while. Hange scratches her neck, which was sweaty by her outburst, but feeling cooler now. Did she say something wrong?

“Let’s go out,” he suddenly says.

She knows it’s something to avert her attention, to prevent her from getting into a fight. Yet it’s the first time Levi agrees to do something with her (last times she didn’t exactly ask, and he didn’t exactly agree).

The people outside must be gone anyway, and she can always find them later to chat about spreading unsubstantiated rumors. The man sounded a lot like Flagon, who she can call in a few hours.

For the time being, she takes a breath to calm herself and smiles for real, stopping her body from bouncing up and down in excitement.

“Where should we go?!”

[bunnysuit-femboy]

The Worst Wingman - Dust and a Goddess

(Chapter 1 / 3)

Jean x Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: mentions of homophobia

Summary:  Jean knew you better than anybody else, so why was he so good at picking the worst people on the planet for you to go on dates with. You were persistent to find a boyfriend this year and you thought Jean could help you find the perfect man, but apparently he loves to watch you suffer. If only you knew the perfect man for you was the one setting you up on all of these dates.

Notes: I posted this on my Ao3 first, but I thought I’d post it here too. So, please enjoy!

First Saturday

Another Saturday night meant another shitty date with another uninteresting and weird guy. You knew Jean hand-picked these dates that he sent you off with, but it seemed he didn’t know you or them at all. Every single date was just another bust, undeniably and irrefutably.

And, this date was just another on the already long list of bad dates.

“So,” Your date said with a smile, “You’re good friends with him, aren’t you?”

You nodded with the wine glass close to your lips. He had asked you the same question nearly fifteen times in the last fifteen minutes. It was as if he couldn’t believe it himself. As if he were surprised, or maybe even a little bit jealous.

“Yeah,” You said with a fake smile, “We’re in the same friend group. I met him freshman year, when I became close friends with Mikasa and she introduced us-”

“How is he?”

“Huh?”

The redhead smiled wide, “How is Eren? What’s he like as a friend?”

You raised your eyebrows and placed your glass back on the table, “Eren?”

The redhead nodded excitedly. He was nearly on the edge of his seat, leaning towards you like a child about to hear a war story from his grandfather. It was odd that the boy had gotten caught on the idea of Eren being friends with you when you had just explained how Jean was the one who set you up on the date.

“Eren is- um,” You looked around the small restaurant, trying to find inspiration for a way out of this conversation from the other diners, “He’s cool.”

The boy is physically upset about your discretion, “And?”

“And,” You involuntarily continued, “He’s- uh, he’s very nice. He-uh he helps me with my homework, and helps me study quite a bit.”

It was all a lie, but only partially. Sure, somebody in the friend group was really nice and helped you with homework and helped you study, but it wasn’t Eren. It was Armin who was the nice one, but you didn’t know Eren well enough not to switch the two names when talking with the boy in front of you.

“That’s awesome,” The redhead said with an admirational sigh, “I bet he’s super helpful. He’s definitely the type to not give up until you know everything, for sure.”

“Oh.” You grinned at your empty dinner plate. “For sure. He’s the best. He’s super dedicated, and he always makes the harder information easier for me to understand. He’ll word it in ways that he knows I’m more comfortable with.”

“I’ll have to join you two, sometime.”

You looked at the boy with furrowed eyebrows, “You want to join me and Eren while we study?”

Boy, is he going to be upset when he finds out Eren is actually an adorable blonde boy with big ocean eyes who’s not nearly as blatantly mean. Also, it’s a bit strange the redhead wants to go on a study date with you and somebody else. Isn’t he at this date for you? But, all he’s asked you about all night is Eren.

“Of course,” The boy said with a smile, “I would just love to see him again.”

You giggled lightly to yourself, “Do you want me to get his number for you?”

Though the comment was purely a joke, the boy didn’t flinch nor smile. He just stared at you with a look of defeat in his eyes and he almost looked angry. His eyes never left your face, his mind not finding an ounce of humor in your question.

His reaction caused your smile to quickly falter, “Do you actually have a crush on him?”

The redhead rose from his seat, “I have to use the bathroom.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Right now?”

“Yes,” The boy’s voice came out harsh, “Right now.”

“Oh, okay.” You watched as the boy walked off towards the bathroom. And, once he was out of earshot, you pulled your phone from your purse sitting on the back of the chair and phoned Jean.

The phone only rang once before the call was picked up. He spoke a half-assed greeting above the sound of yelling in the background. You knew he was with Connie and Sasha tonight and you knew they were playing video games from the noise coming from behind his voice.

“Don’t hey me,” You spat angrily through the phone, “This guy is insane, Jean, he’s fucking weird.”

Jean was now laughing, “How is he weird?”

“He keeps asking about Eren.” You took a quick peek at the male’s bathroom door. “He offered to go on a study date with me-”

“That’s nice of him.”

“-And Eren.”

“Oh,” Jean said, “That’s weird. Eren doesn’t even study with you, he’d have to be smarter than you to be of any help.”

“I may have lied to him.” You took a quick swig of wine from the glass and then turned back to the bathroom doors.

“Aw,” Jean said with a smirk, “Poor Floch.”

“Floch,” You said excitedly, nearly knocking the discarded fork from your plate, “That’s his name! I forgot it about two hours ago, but didn’t have the heart to ask him.”

Jean was uncontrollably laughing on the other side of the phone. It wasn’t like these types of calls were foriegn to him. You normally called Jean in the middle of a crisis, and most of your crises these days happened mid-date when the boy did something weird and left to go to the bathroom.

“You’re a horrible date,” Jean said between his giggles.

“It’s not a normal name.” You held the wine glass to your lips. “I wouldn’t have forgotten his name if it were Brian or Nick. It’s his mom’s fault I forgot his name.”

Jean smiled into the phone, “Now, you’re blaming his mom for your ignorance, how cruel.”

You couldn’t help but grin as well, “Also, I think he has a thing for Eren.”

“Really?” Jean takes a moment to remember something. “That actually makes a lot of sense. I met him through Eren because they were in the same chemistry class last semester. He seemed reluctant to go on the date with you until Eren told him he should, then he was all for it. I thought it was weird, but not weird enough to be concerning.”

“It’s not weird nor concerning,” You said sweetly, “He just has a crush and he doesn’t know how to deal with it, it’s endearing.”

“He’s actively homophobic.”

“What?” You peek at the bathrooms and notice nothing has changed. “You set me on a date with an active homophobe?”

Jean shrugged, “I didn’t think about it.”

You shook your head angrily, “After this date, I am coming straight to your apartment and I am giving you a piece of my mind, Jean Kirstein.”

“Oh no,” Jean said with a smile, “I’m really scared, she used my last name.”

“You should be really scared. I’m bringing my baseball bat and everything.”

You took another peek at the bathroom and then checked the timer on the call. Seven minutes and fourteen seconds was how long you had been on the phone with Jean and how long Floch had been in the bathroom. Sure, it could be reasonable, but you still got a weird feeling from the whole thing.

“‘You okay?” Jean asked endearingly once the silence between you two had settled.

“He’s coming back,” You lied, “I gotta’ go.”

“Okay, just-”

The call ended quickly with one press of your finger. You put your phone back in your purse and let the bag fall to the side of the chair. You looked around the beautiful restaurant and tapped your fingers impatiently against the clothed table.

You leaned to your side in order to get closer to the couple beside you. At the table sat two people: one with long brown hair and wide glasses dressed in a tux and the other with short dirty blonde hair also dressed in a tux.

“Hi,” You said to the brown haired person to your immediate right, “Could I ask a favor of either of you? It’ll only take a minute, I swear.”

The brown haired person smiled widely, “Of course!”

“My date, a redhead, went to the bathroom nearly twenty minutes ago, and I can’t go into the boy’s bathroom-”

“You want me to go?” The brown haired person’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I can go see if he’s still in there, or if he’s sick, or if he’s dead - God forbid, but how interesting, right?”

You nodded with a smile, “Yes, thank you, please. I’m sure he’s not dead, but I’m just worried.”

“Don’t worry until I come back with news.” The brown haired person stood up and left, heading towards the bathroom.

You watched the nice brown haired person go off towards the restrooms. You watched them weave around tables, even stopping now and then to peek over diners’ shoulders, looking at what they had decided to eat for the night. They were strange, but in an endearing way - something you weren’t entirely used to seeing on these dates.

“You know,” The blonde guy spoke up suddenly, snapping you back to reality, “They’ve done that a few times on our dates before, as well.”

“Hm?” You turned to the brown haired person’s date.

The blonde guy smiled, “My date, they get interested in something in the bathroom and don’t bother coming back out for half an hour. The first time is scary, but you’ll get used to their curious mind.”

You grinned weakly at the nice man, “Yeah, I have a feeling there won’t be anything to get used to because there won’t be another date.”

The blonde boy furrowed his eyebrows, “Oh?”

“He wasn’t the best date I’ve been on, nor the best person I’ve been on a date with.” You turned towards the bathroom in time to catch the blonde man’s date making their way back across the restaurant with a frown. “In fact, he’s the first date to ever crawl out of a bathroom window to get away from me.”

“I’m sure that’s not what happened,” The blonde man said with a worried glance at his date. You weren’t sure how you knew it, but you were entirely sure of the redhead’s escape.

“He’s gone, dear.” The brown haired person placed a gentle hand on your shoulder as they sat back in their seat. “The window was pried open, I assume he crawled out of it.”

You nodded with a fake smile, “Thank you, for checking. I can pay-”

You reached for your purse, but the brown haired person shook their head, “No, no. Don’t even try to pay me. In fact, let us pay for your meals, it’s the least we can do.”

You shook your head quickly, “No, I can pay for them, but thank you.”

“No, he left you high and dry and-”

“You’ve already done enough for me tonight.”

“-You don’t deserve to pay for a meal you didn’t even enjoy.”

While the brown haired person was distracting you with a back and forth battle of who would pay for what, the blonde man waved down a passing waiter. He mumbled something to the waiter, pointing at your table over his shoulder. The blonde man pushed a small plastic card into the waiter’s hand. The waiter nodded pityingly, running off quickly towards the hostess’s table at the entrance.

“No,” You said with another shake of your head, “You don’t have to pay for a taxi, I don’t need one-”

But, you did need one considering Floch was your ride here.

“No,” The brown haired person continued, “Let me pay for your wine. In fact, have our wine. It’s the least we can do.”

“No, I don’t need more wine-”

The waiter was back and the blonde man finally spoke up over the argument between you and his date. He held two slips of paper in his hand and looked at you both with a small smile.

“Hange,” He said to make his date stop debating with you, “It’s okay, she doesn’t need your insurance card. And, ma’am, don’t worry about the bill, it’s already been paid for, and you don’t owe me anything in return. I’ve been in your shoes before, and I wish somebody would have done this for me.”

“Sir,” You said quickly, “It’s really not that big of a deal-”

“Not anymore,” The blonde man said with a smile, “Next time you come to this restaurant, just bring somebody you trust. I promise, not everybody is as awful as that boy.”

You bit your lip to keep the newly created tears from falling. You couldn’t help the overload of emotions happening in your throat and eyes. You didn’t normally cry so easily in front of strangers, but these strangers were overly generous. And suddenly, you were remembering the last ten dates that all ended just as horribly. It seemed like nothing was working out in your favor anymore.

“Thank you,” You said with a large smile contradictory to the tears that now fell down your cheeks, “I-I don’t know where to find those not awful people, but I really hope I will someday.”

“Oh no!” Hange said as they quickly wrapped you in a tight hug. “Moblit, look, you broke her.”

Moblit giggled with a shake of his head, “I’m sorry I broke you, dear.”

You shook your head into Hange’s shoulder, accidentally wiping the tears on the shoulder of their black tux. You couldn’t express to Moblit how badly you wanted to find not awful people, and how badly you wanted a date that didn’t end horribly. It was just more complicated than that, and it seemed awful people were the only ones Jean could offer you dates with and the only ones he thought deserved dates with you. So, what did that say about how he viewed you as a person?

You spent a few minutes crying into Hange’s shoulder, mumbling incoherently about boys and school and your pot-smoking next door neighbors who are way too loud when they have sex. They listened to your tangent intently, nodding along, as if they could understand any of your words.

Once you had wiped the tears from your face and thanked the couple profusely some more, you made your way from the restaurant. You knew you could call a taxi to Jean’s apartment, but the weather was nice and his apartment wasn’t too far away. So, walking seemed like a convenient money-saving way of getting the whole date out of your mind.

You walked down the street of town, but once you got to campus, you slid the heels from your feet and into your hands. You walked across campus with your shoes balancing on your fingers like the morning after a horrible one-night stand.

Eventually you made it to Jean’s apartment building and found your way to his front door within a few minutes. You knocked on the wood with your heel and weren’t too surprised when the door opened almost immediately. Jean stood in the doorway, still shouting at the other two over his shoulder.

“Hey,” Jean said once he finally turned his attention to you, “How was the-” You swung the heel swiftly into his stomach, earning a surprised grunt from the boy.

“Don’t mention this date ever again.” You said the threatening words with a glint of anger to your voice, but your face was pressed into a sweet smile.

Jean nodded slowly, “Will you at least tell us what happened?”

You sighed, “Later, I’ll tell you, but I know Connie will bully me for it.”

Jean nodded some more, “Later?”

“The least you can do is let me stay the night.” You raised your eyebrows at the boy. “Since you made me go on the worst date of my life with a homophobic jerk.”

“Okay,” Jean said with a grin, “But only because you’re practically begging for me.”

You swung the heel into his stomach a second time, but he grabbed it before it could give any damage. You both looked intently at each other, your eyes glaring annoyedly and his eyes admiring the sight in front of him. This was exactly what you expected from him, this is exactly how he acts after these dates. He’s always the one to pick up and put back the broken pieces once the doll breaks, even if he’s the reason the doll fell in the first place.

Once you walked into the apartment, you left your shoes and purse by the door, right beside Jean’s shoes. You waved a quick hello to Connie and Sasha - who were too distracted shooting zombies to see you - as you walked past them in the living room and found your way straight to Jean’s room. You knew the apartment like the back of your hand, you had been here a million times.

You walked across the small room to your drawer that Jean keeps all of your clothes in for when you stay. You pulled it open and picked out a pair of cheetah print pajama shorts and an old t-shirt from an now irrelevant ex boyfriend. You threw the clothes on his bed, getting ready to change just when the door suddenly opened.

You turned to the door with tired eyes and furrowed eyebrows as Jean joined you in the room. He leaned against the now closed door, physically keeping the others from joining as well. He crossed his arms against his chest, taking in the sight of him - you in your satin black dress you wore on nearly every date.

“So,” Jean said finally, “What happened?”

You sighed, “He crawled through a window.”

Jean’s eyebrows furrowed, “He crawled through a window?”

“Yes, when he went to the bathroom and I called you. He crawled through a window to get away from me.” You looked anywhere around the room but the boy. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Hey,” Jean moved from the door, coming across the room to you, “Nothing’s wrong with you. Something’s wrong with him.” Jean held you at arm’s length, his hands on your shoulders. “Not only did he leave you, but he has a crush on Eren of all people. I’ve seen birds at the park who are more attractive than he is.”

You grinned sadly, “I bet people don’t crawl through windows to get away from Eren on dates.”

Jean ran his hand down the side of your head, “Eren doesn’t give them the chance, I don’t think he’s ever been on a date.”

“But, people would go on one with him.” You finally looked up at the boy in front of you, trying to keep the tears from spilling the second time today. “He’s not undateable. I’m undateable. I’ve scared guys away every Saturday night for the last two months.”

“You’re not undateable,” Jean said sternly, “You just haven’t found the right one. And, you won’t find the right one if you don’t keep going on these dates. Every horrible date means you’re one more Saturday closer to your soulmate.”

“And, what if I don’t have a soulmate? What if I’m damned to die alone?”

“Then, I’ll die with you.” Jean brought you in for a tight hug, your face snuggling into his firm chest. Jean whispered his words, mostly to himself, “I’d give up 200 soulmates if it only meant I could die with you.”

You closed your eyes against the soft fabric of Jean’s shirt. It was hard to trust his words when there seemed to be so many contradicting factors. Maybe tonight was a total bust, but next Saturday was a new day. You could try again next Saturday, and the Saturday after that, and the Saturday after that. And, every Saturday for the rest of your life until you found your soulmate, even if that seemed like a pointless mission.

You’d do it for both you and Jean, it was the least you could do.

First Sunday

You woke up in Jean’s bed with his body close to yours. It was a standard cuddling position for your friendship: face-to-face, his arms wrapped around your side, your arms cradled against your chest, and your legs intertwined. Despite the normalcy associated with the position, you still woke up with a dorky smile and butterflies floating around your stomach when you saw him sleeping in front of you.

Today was no exception.

You grinned ear to ear as you watched the peaceful rise and fall of Jean’s tanned chest under the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. You watched as his lips parted against the pressure of the pillow under his cheek, a small stream of spit rolling from the corner of his mouth and onto the fabric of the pillowcase below. Every Saturday night ended with tears and regrets, but every Sunday morning began with sweet dreams and a special sleepy boy.

You turned away from Jean, reaching for your phone on the nightstand. The only way to successfully grab the phone was to also pull yourself from Jean’s grasp and from between his legs. It was a horrible price to be paid, but it had to be paid nonetheless.

You checked your lock screen, reading over playful messages from your roommate asking about how good Floch was in bed - assuming you had stayed at his house since you hadn’t come home. And, a few confused messages from Eren asking you who Floch was, why he was texting him, and how he was connected to you.

You locked the phone and turned back to Jean. You were expecting the boy to still be napping peacefully, but he instead stared sleepily at you. Your face had been in a grimace from the mentions of your date last night, but Jean’s honey brown eyes quickly dissipated any negative feelings.

“Good morning,” You whispered, “Did you sleep well?”

“Good morning,” Jean said as he shifted his head and wiped the spit from the corner of his mouth. He was hoping you hadn’t noticed the wetness and that you weren’t questioning the wiping motion he made at his cheek. “And I-”

You smiled, “From the drool spot on the pillowcase, I’ll have to assume you slept well.”

Jean’s cheeks turned rosy, you could see the physical embarrassment on his face. He wasn’t the type to accept humiliation so easily, he was always one to fight back. Just his humiliation isn’t enough, if he’s going down, he’s taking as many people he can take with him. So, you weren’t sure why you were surprised when he swiftly sat up, grabbed the pillow, and attempted to shove the wet spot into your face.

You yelped, rolled, and sprung from the bed only a second before the pillow could land on your cheek, right where it was heading. You were up on your feet quicker than you ever thought you could be, your body still feeling the aftereffects of sleep. You looked down at the boy in front of you, the pillow still tightly gripped in his hands and a mischievous smile smacked across his face.

“You little bastard,” You said with a shocked smile.

Jean smiled back, “I’m actually quite big.” The words were meant as a joke about his body’s size, but both of your dirty minds immediately jumped to the size of something else on his body. “In more ways than one.”

You shouted at the boy between the giggles escaping from your throat, “Jean! Seriously!”

Jean shrugged, laughing along at his own joke, “I’m sorry, I had to!”

“You didn’t have to do shit!” You made your way to the bedroom door. “I’m going home!”

“One bad joke and now you’re leaving.” Jean leaped from the bed, following you to the door. “At least let me make you breakfast first.”

You turned to him with an intrigued glint in your eyes, “Will you make me waffles?”

“Sure,” Jean said as he playfully shoved your shoulder, “I’ll make you waffles.”

“With chocolate chips?” He walked in front of you, leaving the room with you following behind him like a child.

“Yes, I can add chocolate chips.” Jean tried to hide the grin spreading across his cheeks. “Do you want bacon and sausage as well?”

“Shut up,” You said from behind his back, “You know that I don’t.”

His voice sounded sweet, “Yeah, I do know.”

You stood against the counter, only a foot away from where he stirred the waffle mix. You watched as he eyed the waffle box intently, then poured the four other ingredients into the bowl after the dry mix. He looked a bit confused as he moved the spoon around the bowl, as if he was deathly afraid of missing something but not wanting to give the impression that he’d be stupid enough to miss something.

You knew where the coffee was kept and how to work his coffee machine and while you waited for it to brew, you watched Jean with a weak smile across your face. He could feel your eyes on him. Jean tried to ignore the weight of your eyes, not wanting his cheeks to go red though his chest was already inflating from the action.

Jean spared a glance in your direction, only a few seconds before the coffee finished brewing with a loud splash. For those few seconds when both of your eyes were held on each other, time seemed to slow. You could read the admirational glint in his brown eyes and he could read the appreciative glint in your eyes. Before the moment could go much further, you turned away and grabbed the coffee pot and mugs.

You not only knew which coffee beans Jean preferred, but you also knew how he liked his coffee. You poured a little bit of his roommate’s creamer into his mug, and then the tiniest bit of sugar as well. After the coffee was finished, you handed him the mug with a quick smile.

Waffles eventually found themselves on plates and forks eventually found themselves in between fingers. You both ate breakfast against the kitchen counter, Jean leaning down farther than you had to. You moved your fork against the softness of the slightly underdone waffles - he didn’t know just how much batter was supposed to go into the waffle maker at once.

Jean suddenly spoke up by your side, “Are you free this Saturday?”

You turned to the boy, “I normally am. Who’s next?”

“I have a friend on the football team.” Jean ignored your initial grimace to the statement. “He’s nice and desperate, the way you like ‘em.”

You turned back to your waffle with a small pout, “Maybe I should give guys a break for a little.” Jean raised an eyebrow at you. “I’ll just become a nun and write off men altogether.”

“You can’t do that!”

Your head snapped back to Jean, “I can’t?”

“No,” Jean said, “You can’t.”

“And, why can’t I?”

“You just can’t.”

A thick silence had settled in the room, the only sound being the scraping of forks against the porcelain plates. You wondered why Jean was against you becoming a nun. You assumed it was because he was the type to fight persistently, so possibly the idea of giving up on something indefinitely was foreign and upsetting to him. You knew he indirectly reflected onto other people, yourself included.

After a few more moments of silence, Jean started walking away. You watched him as he moved across the living room, heading straight towards his bedroom. Right before the boy could get to the door, he turned to you with a single raised eyebrow and a cocky grin.

“Hey,” Jean said from across the room, “Do you wanna go to the bathroom before I do?”

You looked around the kitchen with a confused look on your face, as if the apartment could give you any clue as to what he was implying with his words. You didn’t have to use the bathroom, nor did you ever insinuate within the last twenty minutes that you did.

You tilted your head curiously, “Why would I need to go to the bathroom before you?”

Jean smiled at the idea of his next words, already proud of himself, “Just to make sure I can’t crawl out through the window.”

Jean laughed as you pretended to throw your fork across the spacious apartment. He was proud of his joke, and you had to admit that you weren’t as upset as you should have been. Last night, the idea of your date crawling through a window in order to get away from you was the worst thing that had ever happened. But with Jean, it was just a funny memory.

Jean came back to the kitchen after a few moments, still giggling lightly about his joke he made nearly two whole minutes ago. You ignored his cockiness by trying to fight the smile forming on your face.

Jean leaned towards you, wrapping a muscled arm around your shoulders. Being pressed against his body in this way made you now realize how he smelled. He smelled of a rich cologne of rose and mahogany. You hadn’t noticed the cologne before he left for the bathroom, but it could have very well slipped past you.

Jean spoke from above you, “I’m glad you aren’t still upset about last night.”

“I never said that.” You looked up at the boy, his arm still around you. “But, I am starting to see the humor in the situation.”

“Good,” Jean said with a smile, “It’s not nearly as bad as that guy who asked if his mom could join you for the date.”

You cringed at the thought, “And, I said yes.”

“And, the one who asked for a vial of your blood.”

You shrugged at the taller boy, “At least he asked, there was the one guy who stole my hair scrunchie without asking first. I think he used it so he could clone me.”

“Yeah.” Jean quickly remembered another awful date. “And, the one who gave you a yarn doll of yourself as a first date gift.”

You smiled widely, “I’m nearly a hundred percent sure that it was actually a Voodoo doll. I’m glad I accepted it before I told him no to a second date.”

Jean grinned down at you, only an inch or two from your face. It was hard not to smile when looking at the boy. He was beautiful and reminded you of an ancient sun god. From his tanned skin, to his lively brown eyes, and his deeply inviting smile. It was hard to look at Jean and not feel your heart skip a beat, especially when you were so close to him.

“They’re all funny stories now,” Jean said, “So, that’s good.”

You moved deeper into his arm, “Funny stories that I don’t need.”

“But, funny stories nonetheless.”

“Yeah,” You mumbled sarcastically, “Thanks to you.”

“Hey!” Jean was pulling you into a quick bear hug as you laughed against his chest. “I try to find the University’s best guys for you! They are truly the school’s finest.”

“Then, why do they all suck?”

He didn’t answer your question because he wasn’t sure he knew why. He didn’t know why he threw these horrible guys onto you, under the impression of them being good matches. But, in his defense, it was hard to find somebody of your quality.

You were a goddess amongst mortals and these men could never be enough for you. And, if these men were mortals compared to you, then Jean felt he wasn’t even a mortal. He was the dirt hiding in the crevices of somebody’s shoe, he was the dust somebody breathed in before they yawned. Jean felt he could never equal up to you, but maybe these other guys could get close. And, maybe - just maybe - if he helps you get a boyfriend, then he wouldn’t think about you being a goddess so much.

Next Chapter

[ginkgomoon]

Helios- A Character Study

I have always been fascinated by Helios so I’m especially excited about this post! If there’s any other additional information you would like to add, ask, or discuss, feel free to send an ask or a post so I can adjust and clarify for you. But before that, I have other things I want to add that are important regarding my blog- I will be expanding and analysing other characters in MLQC, so not to worry Victor, Kiro and Lucien (and Shaw, Eli?, Savin?) stans! I has't not hath left thee! In addition, before every analysis/study that I do, I will post a hint (such a quote) that will foreshadow the upcoming character/topic I will be covering. I know it’s not necessary and literally nobody does it but this is great fun for me so I also want to try to make it fun for you guys to approach my blog and my work! This is a spoiler buffet. Please don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled! This is probably the longest post ever on my blog so enjoy :)

“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” -The Dark Knight

Who is Helios?

??: Do you know what Helios means? The mocking in his face had returned. He suddenly came close and placed his hand on the window behind me. I was imprisoned in his arms and couldn’t move. His eyes drilled into my own. I felt that if I showed even the smallest hint of discomfort or fear, he would use that as an excuse to push me away. MC: Helios is the sun god from Greek mythology- ??: I don’t like that name.

Helios is the God of the Sun, sight and a guardian of oaths. He is seen to be riding a golden chariot to bring the sun across the skies each day from east (where the sun rises) to west (where the sun sets). 

Kiro has lots and lots and lots of sun, light, dark and shadow imagery attached to him. Kiro is noted to be everyone’s sun, especially for MC and vice versa as she’s noted to be the one to chase the darkness away with Kiro following through. When he has those stage moments as his idol identity, it’s expected for him to be the guiding light (especially for his fans, the Kirophiles)- “the sun” and “hope” as to what “Kiro” represents, without any impurities associated with that persona. Which is ironic for Helios, who dressed mostly in black without the blonde hair, to have that same name as the God of the Sun working in BLACK SWAN- the organisation with the name literally having “black” in it as well. 

“If Kiro is this exuberance and this life, Helios is the opposite of that. It’s what if we took someone who stopped finding reasons to be happy, who stopped finding a lot of things to be passionate about and was just trying to get on day by day- they react to the things that happen to them, rather than going out to look for adventure. Helios lacks a lot of emotion that Kiro has.” -Sean Chiplock, Kiro’s VA

Kiro and Helios

“If I had a dark side… I should hide it from others, right…? Can I really be imperfect?”

There had been a lot of discussion around Helios in relation to his transformation, whether he was acting and what Kiro’s connection with BLACK SWAN is. 

To clarify, yes- Kiro is Helios. Helios is Kiro. Just like how Kiro admitted to MC that he’s also the hacker KEY. Helios is just one of the personas that Kiro has (which I will expand on in a future post). This, however, does not hinder negatively on Kiro’s personality, but introduces us to another side of him, one that shows effective in-depth characterisation. Especially when we first view him as the cheerful idol with the power to passively attract others. Kiro first gave off the certain impression to Sean Chiplock that you “don’t take off the calm and quiet person, because you don’t want to see the other side of them”. 

Kiro and Helios, which one was the real him? Neither? Or both? -Clinic Date

Before MC has her first encounter with Helios, we have to look more into Kiro’s background and childhood. 

Kiro was experimented on as a kid. He didn’t know his name, his birthday or where he came from. Through the experiments of genetic modification, he obtained his evol. Only when MC and the original KEY came to him, did he really strive to fulfil his sense of purpose of “we shall stand in darkness as we defend the light”, and also to protect MC back. His mentor used to be the original Helios, one of the twelve-ranking positions in BLACK SWAN, but went missing when Kiro was 15. Been given the name Kiro, using his idol identity, accepted this as Helios and as of the leader of BLACK SWAN to rid Leto- the true evil of the Season 1 timeline.

It is evident that he does genuinely care about his fans, his career and music despite all of this. This aspect of him is very much true (we see that he exposes a person scamming his fans in Chapter 3 and that in his various dates he dedicates his work to comforting his fans in their everyday lives). However, with this much love and support from everyone with very few knowing his true intentions and darker past, it is easy to “trip up” upon these identities, in a way that he would feel so lonely (as I reiterate what I said above) that everyone would think he’s the perfect man (not saying he isn’t because we all know he is!) without any troubles or experiencing difficulties climbing up the ranks to be where he is now- especially with his evol being charm and control. He would wonder if it’s really him or his evol making people act this way towards him (why he has this much love and attention). 

In reality, every teacher who has met him adored him very much. But because of this, Kiro always remained in fear. From the beginning to the end, he had felt that the love and care from others was akin to smoke - surging at first, but from thereafter, dissipates gradually. -CN Stunning Young Idol Rumours and Secrets

He’s like a little sun with no dark spots at all. No wonder people say people say he has a super power. He seems to be loved by everybody… -Chapter 3-1

“A lot of people adore me, but only when I’m doing my thing on stage. They wouldn’t want to see me now...” -Visiting Hours Date 

It would be incredibly hard for him to keep this standard and uphold these burdens with his identity as Helios and KEY as well- where everyone would believe those personas of him to be the “vice”- the “evil”, in morality play. Because when the people who love you only know and love this side of you, what becomes of you when you lose it all?

Superstar Kiro was a little angel who received the admiration and respect of thousands and thousands of fans. What the hacker KEY sounded like was someone with malicious intentions.

-

Kiro didn’t know which one of his identities was more famous. Though of course, nobody would correlate these two polar-opposite identities together. -CN Heavens Home for Children Rumours and Secrets

He always looked so carefree in front of people, smiling and laughing. But when he was alone in the corner, he always looked so solemn and tired. Countless times, Savin had wanted to talk to Kiro about his work, life and feelings but with just a few words, Kiro would always put him to ease. -That Boy Makes Me Worry Rumours and Secrets

However, behind his brilliant smile, I could occasionally feel something different. It was like paper that couldn't be penetrated. After all, he was a superstar. Ordinary people like us wouldn't understand their world, they must have one or two faces of their own behind the screen. -Secret Base Rumours and Secrets

In the makeup room, sitting on the sofa, Kiro had lost some shine he had under the spotlight and looked a little bit exhausted.  -Confession Date

In a way, Kiro still staying so pure and happy when others are around is because he doesn’t want people to suffer like he did. He had an extremely rough time when he was young, but his beliefs, light and hope that MC gave him allowed him to fight for better days. 

I then thought about the superstar Kiro many years later, who was always shining and effortlessly charming. This made me really sentimental. How many things must he have been through to become strong enough to bring light to other people? -Echoes of Time: Parisian Salon

She looked so pretty when she smiled, and she also had a father who loved her dearly. She was definitely… someone who deserved to live the most. -CN Top Experimental Subject Rumours and Secrets

His dazzling smile conceals something underneath, just like how the dazzling sun shrouds darkness underneath. Hidden in the depths of his own secrets are things even darkness doesn’t know of. If darkness had a mind of its own, it might think it doesn’t fit with this pure and simple youth. Just as how everyone thinks of him as a simple, innocent Kiro, the sunlight casted on him, able to pierce through him completely, with rays of light refracting onto the floor.  Actually, since a very long time ago, he no longer was a youth… But now, for her sake, he’s willing to become a youth again. -CN Youthhood Rumours and Secrets

The thing I like most about you is that you never admit defeat and you always stay positive. Every time I see you it's like you’re this brilliant sun and I feel charged of energy. Maybe all the lonely times I’ve been through... was so that I could meet you. -Confession Date

When they were younger, they were together as test subjects for evol. MC promised him donuts. He gave her a stuffed teddy bear. Kiro tried to help MC escape but they got caught and separated. They had spent quite some time together, so Kiro would be able to recognise MC once they had met again. Kiro had to replace another child for a top experiment, and the workers thought he’d die anyway as he was too weak. But still, he had survived and became the first and only successful subject. MC showed him that there was kindness- light- that still existed in the darkest of places. And in the darkest parts of his heart, there was MC to light those areas up for him :)

“Look, this world is so beautiful, and you don’t need to be afraid anymore.” But till now, he has yet to find her. But he remembers her eyes. And one day, he will find her within a vast sea of people. 

Kiro remains speechless- quietly listening to the little girl speak. The little girl struggles to pull on his hand. Their fingers interlock together, the warmth from her palm gradually coursing into Kiro’s heart. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.” Kiro turns to look at her - to look at her perseverant brown eyes, looking at how the corners of her lips turn upwards. Kiro slowly learns how to curl the corners of his own lips from her. It’s the first smile to have appeared on his face.  “This time, I’ll be the one protecting you.” Kiro says excitedly. He stands outside the airport, staring directly at the sun. “I’ll find you, and protect you. I even have a mountain of souvenirs stored in my luggage- I’ll give them to you! And my purest heart - I’ll give it to you too!” -CN Youthhood Rumours and Secrets

Helio’s Transformation

“Because only you can awaken me from darkness, no matter when.”

When Kiro transforms to Helios, it mainly affects his physical appearance. His hair grows longer and changes to colour, and his black (and super cool) NIRVANA tattoo appears. When he is weak, the tattoo fades (seen in Clinic Date.)

Nirvana- a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

I looked at his silver hair. It looked very natural with no signs of hair dye. In the serene moonlight, it was very beautiful. It wasn’t dyed, and it didn’t look like it turned silver because of an illness or something. -Chapter 17 

Helios’s ring also plays part of his transformation. This is ultimately connected to BLACK CABIN and the 1908′s White House Explosion- when evol was born. From this high-dimensional space, Kiro is able to take on as Helios- who also known to be BS’s first generation of god. He can change upon his will, and influences from BLACK CABIN/QUEEN can cause him to lose control.

The golden hair mixed with the bright silver. He raised his finger, and the silver ring flashed. He muttered quietly, as if speaking to the ring and to himself. -Behind The Curtain Part 6: After Returning 

Moonlight shone through the window, illuminating his silver hair with a golden glow for an instant. He buried his face in his right elbow, and large beads of sweat formed on his brow, as if a kind of uncanny transformation was occurring. “NOT NOW!!!” He howled hoarsely, his eyes now golden in the darkness. Residual power inside the Quarantine zone appeared to be affecting him. Violent forces jolted in the tiny space, and coursed through his obsidian ring. -Night Watchman Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 14

He turned and looked at me, his face a pallid white. His smile was still gentle. Suddenly, I felt intensely uneasy. 

MC: “We’re going in, right?”

Kiro didn’t answer, his eyes intent on me gleamed with a flash of golden light above. When I looked carefully, I discovered his eyes turned into this exquisite gold like pure amber, or crystallised time. 

Kiro: “I command you…”

I have never heard him sound like this before. Stiff, stern and solemn.

“All within my range of control belongs to me. Now walk onto the rooftop, lock the door, and don’t let anyone in… including me... Don’t be afraid. You’ll be okay. I said before, I will definitely succeed this time. I will always protect you.” 

In saying this, he believes that his own sacrifices are necessary, no matter what the situation is. Kiro is willing to dim or even smother his own light and sun for MC to be safe and happy. 

A black figure suspended in the air behind Kiro, just like scythe-toting Death himself… I seemed to see a golden-winged bird fly by, like a ray of light crossing the sky, leaving a temporary light trail in my vision.

“Death”, “golden-winged bird”, and “light”.

This sentence was highlighted in the chapters’ outline from the chapter contents. This implies the symbolism of the phoenix bird- the mythical bird that rises from the ashes and is reborn again. Kiro was captured by BLACK SWAN as punishment and had undergone modification- and was resurrected as Helios.

Chapter 17

He was standing in front of me. Half of his face was hidden in the shadows, but I could see the sharpness of his eyes and eyebrows. He took the notebook away from my hands before I could finish my sentence.

As MC gets tied to the table, flashbacks from suppressed memories emerge. We see Kiro and MC together being test subjects. (Fun fact- Kiro and MC’s blood type is O!) 

White walls. A deserted lab. A cold med table. And a blond boy with agony in his face. Next to him lay a brown-haired girl who was unconscious. …Was that me? I looked at the blood pouring out from the IV. Tears came from my eyes. Kiro… Our lives were connected long before. But where are you now?

She finally realises that Kiro was that boy from the orphanage.

 AND I JUST REALISED SOMETHING. HAS HELIOS NEVER OUTRIGHTLY ADMIT THAT HE’S NOT KIRO? LIKE HE NEVER SAID “NO”?? 

MC: Are you really not Kiro?

??: How long are you going to keep calling me by that wrong name?

(Yes, it’s technically the wrong name because right now he’s called Helios but he’s also technically still Kiro!)

He didn’t sound particularly annoyed, but I felt saddened.

MC: I…

I looked at his face. Every line, feature- they resembled Kiro, but at the same time wasn’t.

MC: I’m sorry… I must be wrong…

I hung my head low. His face may resemble him, but his expressions were so unlike Kiro and I didn’t want to see that.

But my intuition told me that my hunch was not wrong. If that was correct, then one of my paths was already sealed.

-

Helios: What makes you think that I wouldn’t? You already know where I’m from. Why are you being so naïve? I shook my head. MC: Kiro wouldn’t do this to me… An unknown emotion flashed in his eyes. 

Poor Kiro, having to pretend to not know MC and act so cold towards her. It must have been incredibly hard and painful for the both of them. Please just LET THEM BE TOGETHER. 

Kiro isn’t risking MC see this darker side of him. He truly doubted if anybody would accept him as Helios, because he was just so used it before as an idol having to act so perfect on screen, showing everybody what they wanted to see.

-

“MC. Step a meter away from him, and close your eyes.

The golden flashes in his pupils were the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes.

“I command you to forget what just happened. And I command you to forget about me. Remember, I’m just Helios.”

My memories were being erased bit by bit. Kiro was fading from my sight. His smiles, his eyes, his warmth… all of them became vague like a fog and disappeared. I tried my best to hold onto them, but it was all in useless.

Kiro… Even the name I tried to hold on till last was wrenched away from me. He watched silently as MC closed her eyes and blacked out in his arms.

“I’m sorry…”

He apologised again quietly. His eyes that once held warmth and brightness were again now filled with shadows.

“I will find the truth that you’re looking for. I don’t want you to bear that heavy burden. I’ll come back to you some day, but not today. Don’t remember my dark sides. In your eyes, I will always remain Kiro to you. After I take care of everything, things can go back the way they were between us. This time, I’ll make sure that you don’t have to wait long.”

-

“He looked a lot like Kiro. But it wasn’t him.”

In my palm was a small candy glistening in the sunlight. On impulse I unwrapped the paper and put it in my mouth.

MC: Apple flavour…

It somehow crossed my mind that it was Kiro’s type of flavour.

He wants MC to still have faith in him, and to trust in his abilities to protect her, as the candy is a motif for their relationship and exchange towards each other. (This was the same back in the orphanage when they were together too.) However, as his identity as Kiro, not the Helios she encountered. (Dramatic ironyyyy)

“We shall stand in darkness as we defend the light.”

Thorns Date 

In the photo, Kiro looked completely different from what he usually looked like. On the glistening water, a youth held a birdcage, with a glint of melancholy in his drooping eyes. This was the last set of photos before quitting.

-

Kiro asked for my praise with shiny begging eyes, as if the prior sorrow and blue were all my illusions.

-

We stood very close to each other, yet at this moment, I felt there was a formed gap between us.

“MC, do you think the imprisoned bird can get out of the cage?”

-

There seemed to be a ray of golden light flashing through my mind but I couldn't catch it. (The thought that Helios came to see her?? Yes.)

I remember his distance, his apathy, yet puzzling familiarly. 

Helios saw the magazine falling from my bag, his face flashing with complicated emotions I couldn’t comprehend. And I felt the familiar feeling of being touched deep in my soul. 

“You like gazing at me a lot.” 

-

Standing at the edge of the dark abyss, he opened his arms and leaned backward without hesitation. He fell straightly like a folded winged bird in the moment. (Similes, metaphors and symbolism galore!)

-

I sat on the ground limply and closed my eyes to avoid the dazzling light. This scene felt so familiar as I had experienced such a farewell.. Why? 

My senses told me this man was Helios, yet the feelings from deep of my heart were so real. 

“Helios! Do you… know how the imprisoned bird can get out of the cage?” 

“Why do you think I will answer this question?” Behind such eyes, there seemed to be something else I couldn’t make out in the shadow.

I seemed to see him unfold a pair of black wings on his back and about to flutter away. No more cages could imprison him and nothing could make him stop. Helios walked from the bright light into the shadow. 

He recalled her last question and her sad and confused eyes. Suddenly he recalled an ancient story. There was a kind of bird. It was always trapped in the thorns of fate from the moment of its birth. If the most beautiful thing was doomed to be exchanged with the deepest pain. He would overcome all obstacles to come back to her. And be her sun again.

The story that Helios recalled could be The Nightingale by Hans Christian Andersen. 

In Ancient China, one of the forests lived a nightingale, who sang so beautifully everybody would stop and listen. The nightingale was renowned to be the best wonder out of all the things that the travellers abroad had ever seen. However, the Emperor of China didn’t know that such a bird existed, and demand to have it found.

The bird had come willingly to sing for the Emperor, singing so sweetly that tears came out of everybody’s eyes. The nightingale lived in the court thereafter, until one day the Emperor had received a mechanical copy of the bird, golden with precious gems and all. The nightingale had left, and all the courtiers had said that it was an ungrateful creature. It was therefore banished from the empire. 

The mechanical bird had stopped working, only being able to play once every year. Five years had passed, and the Emperor fell ill that nobody expected him to live. Death had arrived to the Emperor as he prayed for the bird to sing a note. The living nightingale had appeared again, and had come to sing out of trust and hope for the Emperor. Death went to look at the Emperor’s renowned garden as the Emperor was thankful for the bird’s singing. She sang again, and the sun rose through the window and as everybody thought the Emperor had passed. The Emperor wanted the nightingale to stay by his side but it refused. It cannot live in the palace, but promised to visit the Emperor to sing to him. 

A black figure suspended in the air behind Kiro, just like scythe-toting Death himself… I seemed to see a golden-winged bird fly by, like a ray of light crossing the sky, leaving a temporary light trail in my vision.

Similar to Chapter 14, in this date, Kiro is represented as the bird, trapped in the cage. He had to release what everyone wanted him to be- Kiro, the shining sun/bird trapped in the cage under their control- ironic how his evol is absolute control because his charm would have drawn people this way in as a result. And the only way to be free was to be resurrected, to escape, to disappear from public view- to become free as Helios.

Light Pursuit Date 

“Will you forget me?”

Kiro was becoming faint like a water mist. Panicking, I reached out to grab him but he slipped away from my fingers. An invisible wall had come between us and I couldn’t get close to him. This one step was like an unbridgeable gap between us, but it was like a line that we could never cross.

Will I forget Kiro? That sudden question in my head became clearer, and made me tremble in panic.

-

He had the name of a sun god, but even I couldn’t feel any bit of warmth.

MC: What is Helios here for?

Helios: We meet again, MC.

This was the first time that Helios called me by my name. He was brusque as ever, but there seemed to be a small amount of yearning in his voice. He did not act the way like the Helios that I used to know. His attitude and manners were surprisingly refined… like he was acting out a whole different persona.

-

The music changed into Por Una Cabeza- the tango song that I was very familiar with.

(I absolutely love the intertextuality that the game has. It’s a Spanish tango song that was also appeared in Scent of a Woman starring Al Pacino where the tango scene featured a blind man dancing with a woman who didn’t know how to dance and was scared of making mistakes. This correlates perfectly for MC and Helios. MC’s body is reacting to Helios as if he was Kiro...)

I didn’t drink, but I felt drunk somehow. Otherwise how else would this reachable warmth and illusion of intimacy familiar? 

We were so close to each other, but the distance between us was only one step away, but a step we could never cross.

-

Helios looked up when he heard my voice. His eyes seemed to have trouble focusing. His blue eyes wavered like a lake sprinkling with sunlight. Surprisingly, there was sorrow, and naivety in those usually unfeeling eyes.

He lowered his head and his chin rested on my shoulder. I have never seen Helios so vulnerable. His hands were wrapped around my waist, leaving no space between us. Helios didn’t answer and continued to keep me pressed to his body. There was a deep aura of loneliness and bitterness about him that was barely discernible from his cold exterior.

-

Because to me, you were familiar to someone I deeply care about. Because my soul resonates when I am close to you. Because…. of a ridiculous assumption. Did I reach the edge of truth? Or was I just deceiving myself? A thick fog was obscuring me from seeing the truth clearly. I didn’t continue talking or thinking. MaybeI was so vaguely aware that this was the closest I could get to him. Only one step away but a distance I could never close.

MC is also scared. She’s in turmoil. She wants to know the truth but she’s also sitting on the fence with it. Especially due to the memory wipe. It’s like, “maybe it’s better if I don’t,” and “I think you are that someone I care so much about but I can’t be sure about it because even if I ask you, you won’t tell me, and I don’t know what to do.” 

:(

Stardust Date

Kiro: That’s right. I’m going to a far, far place. And I will stay there for a very long, long time. Don’t cry when you start missing me. MC: I’m not going to cry!

Kiro: But I will. So promise me, alright? Don’t forget me, even if I leave. 

Two days afterwards, I heard him talk to someone on the phone. I’m pretty sure it was his voice, but it sounded like he was a completely different person. 

What was he trying to hide? Did it have anything to do with his “leaving”? Was it out of his own will or was he involved in something under duress?

-

The confident smile on his face as he glided his fingers across the keys fluently, showed his passion for this show. As songs were played after another, he became more focused. I could tell from his expression that he was fully immersed in this performance. As long as he was given a stage and music, he’d become the centre of attention no matter what position he was in. However, the more passion I saw, the more I was scared for his “leaving”. He is the sun- what will happen to his supporters when they lose him? And what about me? What will happen to me?

Light and Shadow Phone Call

MC: Is that melancholy in your voice? It’s unlike you to be down like this.

Kiro: Really? Does everyone think I’m that shallow?

MC: Of course not. But you are the brightest and warmest sun, so it’s easy to be touched by your optimistic side first.

Kiro: But right now, the sunlight is getting too strong that it’s scorching…

MC: Hmm? Is it? right now it’s sunset where you are?

Kiro: Yes. I’m sitting atop of Namibia’s Dune 45 and everything is red. Even the sun is sinking low.

MC: Soon, it will sink beyond the horizon.

Kiro: Yes… Miss Chips, Since you say I’m like the sun, and the sun eventually sets...

Kiro: If I have a dark side, I should hide it from others, right?

MC: Why should you hide it?

Kiro: Because, I don’t want to show you and I don’t want to disappoint others.

MC: But you’re just you, Kiro.

Kiro: I am who I am?

MC: Yes. Why can’t a sun have shadows? Even the real sun has sunspots! People who really care for you will love both the warm sunny side and the occasional dark, depressed side.

Kiro: But I always feel...

MC: Everyone has a side they want to hide in the shadows. No one is expected to be required as perfect. That applies to my little sun as well.

Kiro: Can I really be imperfect?

MC: Absolutely. To me, all sides of you are worth cherishing.

Kiro: Thank you, MC.

MC: What’s there to thank?

Kiro: Because… only you are willing to see the weak and plain side that I’m hiding and accept both my light and my shadow.

MC: That’s why I’m your own personal tree hole! I’ll keep your sorrows tucked away for you!

Kiro: Thank you Miss Tree Hole. I’m so lucky to have you. In fact, you are my sun who gives me light to embrace the world every morning. Thank you, for always being there by my side.

This call is so significant for Kiro, and his battle between light and dark. After his evol went out of control, he’s afraid of hurting his fans and MC. Similes and metaphors are used to compare his evol/different personas as the sun and how it will soon go down. He confronts the truth that he will also have to leave the public view soon, and uses this opportunity of the call to confirm what MC thinks if he had imperfections/shadow sides. And of course, to thank her before he leaves. 

Chapter 21 (Winter World)

He was so fast that his moves were a blur. He dodged every attack and landed his own with grace and strength. It was like watching a silver moonlight dancing in flowing moves. 

-

“You seem to be completely ignorant about how weak you are.”

I was trapped in a little cage he made with his body against the wall. The cruelty in his face crumbled the last of my shields. he didn’t stop there. He leaned in with his whole body hemming me into the confined space he created. 

Helios: Weaklings should learn to survive on their own. No one will teach you that. 

MC: I don’t want to be a weakling forever.

Helios: Then you better figure out how to become stronger.

He dropped his sarcastic tone. Instead, each syllable fell from his mouth with  upmost earnestness. 

Helios: Use all your strength. Every method you can think of. Abandon your past...even abandon yourself. If you can’t do that, then just go back tot the world you came from.

-

1562 clutched tightly on his friend’s blanket, refusing to let go. However, in the end, he was shoved onto the ground because his strength was too weak. He had collided so hard that he couldn’t get up for a long while.  -CN Top Experimental Subject Rumours and Secrets

If MC hadn’t come, then there would be no real sun in his life. He would only have artificial light. And he would be right- Helios would be just Helios. He wouldn’t bother much about fans or music, but using this identity to climb the system. He had to learn the hard way on how to survive. Nobody was there for him, thus it would be harder for him to feel empathy towards others in situations other than this. 

The sun had risen completely. The increasing bright light drowned everything that belonged in the darkness. Helios remembered that day a long time ago. In the darkness, the withered hand touched his head and said faintly, “become Kiro, be the so-called “sun”.

At that time, he had lowered his eyes, nodded blankly, and simply walked out into the night, emitting a false light that was not his own. But today… Helios looked off into the distance, and seeing the dazzling morning light, he remembered the girl… At that moment, he saw the real sun.  -Between Light and Darkness Rumours and Secrets 

From “Behind The Curtain”, MC fell into the space-time gap and was saved by Helios. Even though he couldn’t see her as they were in different dimensions, she could be influenced by him. This wasn’t the first time that he’s tugged on that bond tying them together to BLACK CABIN. Thank you Helios also for helping bring MC back to her original world.

Chapter 28

Kiro: You should know about everything that I’ve done.

MC: I know that... you’re Helios.

Kiro’s eyes flickered and blinked at me. The golden hair under the now eclipsed sunlight seem to have an extra glow to it. Kiro: Is my name really that important?

MC: Why did you hide it from me? I trusted that you would tell me. That no matter what name you had, you really wouldn’t change...

Kiro: If a superhero were to turn into an arch-villain, would those who always believed in him lose hope? What he want most is for you to be a fairy, free of all cares. Not getting hurt, not getting worries, whose only responsibility is receiving signals and joy and happiness.

Kiro: However, if she is determined to go do something difficult, and she wants to bear this burden on her own... then I wish for her to be a little superhero, who can fly through it all with ease.

Chapter 29

“Don’t get all angry. The person beside you didn't even notice any difference between us. Or put it another way, it seems that “you” aren’t important in this role that you’re playing. Anybody can replace you.” -Anole

Anole is wrong (and just jealous). MC did notice, and plus, he probably wouldn’t have survived in the top experiment that Kiro had undergone in the orphanage. That was something only Kiro would have survived, with his willpower and determination in his heart to make a better life for himself and MC- something that Anole clearly lacks.

-

I had never seen Helios laugh before. His smile wasn't as dazzling as his golden-haired counterpart’s, but one could say that if the former him was the sun, then his smile was now a gentle moon.

THE IRONYYY. Helios is finally okay with showing this side of him to her, from watching her go through trials and tribulations in the Winter World with the other Helios- of course he wouldn’t want any danger to be near MC, but knowing that she can handle anything after all that she went through, he now knows that it’s better for her to be with him instead. Also he learnt how to smile from her and now he’s smiling again as Helios and I’m just so happy

Whether in the face of violent, nefarious enemies or a wave of blood and bullets, he’d never shown any fear. I got the feeling that he was somehow nervous, or even afraid. Was it because he had to return into the spotlight, back the shower of roses and applause?

Well… when he decided to give all that up and step into the darkness with no turning back, what was he thinking then?

-

He leaned on the wall and rested awhile, staring intently at the black tattoo on his right arm… he looked at himself in the mirror. His silver strands of hair were tingled with gold, as if bathed in sunlight. And for only that one time, he didn’t avert his gaze from the desire in his eyes. It was like looking at a self portrait—so distant, yet so familiar. It was only now that he realised: this was the moment in his life most worth reliving. Once again, he had become Kiro.

In the PV/Karma (photo down below), we see him wearing black- not as Helios but as Kiro! Again, ironic how he’s holding a comeback concert he’s wearing black, a colour that represents darkness and shadows. It had been noted in the Snooper Rumours and Secrets that this is way out of Kiro’s style wardrobe. However, this signifies a range of things. The two personas are “merging” as he no longer hides this persona to MC- they’re one in the same. It has always been this way and will never change. The colour black also means power and authority, but can mean fear and grief. This is the same outfit when Kiro was doubting himself in the Light Pursuit Date as well. 

Right now, if we’re talking moon phases, Kiro right now is in “the void”. Meaning he’s “nowhere”. He’s Kiro but he’s also operating as Helios. He feels nervous to go back but it does come so natural for him to be in the spotlight. He feels stuck at crossroads with himself, especially when he got forced back to perform by Anole. 

Ultimately, it’s like he’s saying “no matter what becomes of me, I will always stay true to you.” And I think this is perfectly translated as Kiro says, 

“Miss Chips, wait for me.”

(”Wait for me as I fight for us both. So you don’t have to suffer.”) But we suffer either way.

His light and sun has always come from MC. He will always keep running towards his sun, no matter which persona he embodies. This, we can be certain on. (New Season 2 Chapters please don’t oppose this LOL.)

“I await you at the end of the opposite path.”

[mylordshesacactus]

plantser questionnaire marathon

What is the first thing you do when you start working on a new WIP?

Generally, I'll do a quick bullet-point "outline" of the scenes I want to include to make sure I don't leave any out. (My default setting is scrapbook-style oneshots, so this is pretty relevant!) These are EXTREMELY informal and probably incomprehensible to anyone but me. Because most of my oneshot ideas started out as chatting with friends or a tumblr post, they'll often have little dialogue snippets that occurred to me as relevant to the theme or situation but don't have any context; I'll toss any particularly effective or witty or just profoundly in-character lines--anything where I love the exact phrasing and don't want to lose it--up as their own bullet points.

If it's particularly plot-heavy or intricate, or if I'm struggling to go from an outline to actual prose, I'll add sub-bullets to brainstorm and lay out the scene more precisely to give me a better roadmap.

These "outlines" can get a little more detailed if it's a multichapter. I'll divide them first into rough chunks, less strict chapter divides and more "here's what happens in Act 1". Then I'll...start writing, and if one scene ends up longer or more detailed than I expected, I'll rearrange how I divided the scenes. Sometimes this results in me writing a scene, developing it in more detail and realizing that it could very naturally include all the important aspects I'd allocated to a different scene, so I'll combine what would have been two weak chapters into one strong one.

What is the most important question to answer about your characters?

What wouldn't they do?

This can be a moral question, of course--what's the line your character won't cross? What would make them less nobly just say no, you're not paying me enough for that? Conversely, what level of selflessness would they balk at or view with disdain--a character who'd be totally fine with a genuinely mutually beneficial arrangement, for example, might sneer at an arrangement where he got something he wanted but the other person got something they needed, because that exchange wasn't equally balanced so he thinks he got cheated.

But it doesn't have to be a big deep question.

Usually, if you're stuck when writing because you don't know what a character would do next or how they'd respond, you can get a lot of traction out of going "okay, well, what WOULDN'T they do?" and then thinking about the answer.

Like. It's easy to say well, this character absolutely would never go to the criminal organization from canon for help...but would they? Are you sure? Luke Skywalker went to every effort to make a peaceful deal with Jabba because the backup plan was incredibly risky. Robyn Hill hates the Atlesian military, but was willing to work with them in the interest of making real change on the Council; and when the heat went off in Mantle, she shelved her pride instantly and begged for help to save civilian lives.

What wouldn't they do? And how sure are you?

What are three things you have to have during a writing session?

Time, relative quiet, and a stream-of-consciousness outlet.

I don't enjoy writing under pressure and tend to get engrossed when I hit my flow, so even if I only intend to write for an hour or so I can't be trying to cram it into a limited time at the end of which I have to do something else. I can write until bedtime because that's a natural endpoint and I'm tired and would be stopping anyway, but I can't "write before bedtime" because that's a time limit. My partner will frequently go "I just need to write 500 words and then bed" but I absolutely can't do that.

I say "relative" quiet because dead silence is unpleasant, and because @alexkablob and I have discovered that we can cowrite just fine (and in fact better) while on a Skype call together. However, I cannot write independently while on a call, and I can't write with music unless it's EXTREMELY unobtrusive. I had decent results playing spaghetti western soundtracks in the background while working on Bellwether, but even then I frequently had to pause it or switch to a different track when the music got too intense.

(I have sensory processing issues where my brain physically cannot filter out background noise if it's rhythmic or has a pattern. Music or voices force my brain to pay attention to it, making it impossible to write because my attention is split. So, background music rather than full instrumental themes--music designed to play under dialogue without distracting from it--can actually be great!)

And a stream-of-consciousness outlet. Sometimes a "scratch notes" document is enough for this--something I can tab over to and jot down random dialogue that I just thought of, or a plot concept, or the solution to a problem, without having to organize it. And I write best when I can talk about what I'm doing to someone without involving auditory input--just today I was building a D&D puzzle and was able to focus on it better when I could occasionally tab over to a chat with friends who aren't in the campaign, so I could talk about what I was doing. It keeps my momentum up and keeps me excited. My original writing doc has like five people who've got access to it just so that they can see what I'm doing and help me keep interest in the ongoing project.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!! I was wondering if you knew of any really long fics (like 25k or more) that are only one chapter, I travel a lot sometimes and some places don't really have good enough internet for multi chapter fics. So yeah, any really long one chapter fics about John and Sherlock would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!!

LOL OKAY FUNNY STORY. I almost replied to this with “oof I’ll have to read EVERYTHING so I’m sorry.... and then... I remembered.......

I put chapter counts on everything 🙃😐 

I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. 🖍 

Anyway, so yes, I can definitely rec you some fics! BUT I should also offer you two suggestions you can totally do to read ANY fic!

On Ao3, you can click on the “Entire Work” button to load ALL chapters of a fic (it’s the very first button along the top) and in turn you can then just read it all there! 

And the very last button along the top, you can Download copies of the fic to your phone or computer with eBook file types (AZw3 for Kindle, ePub for iPhone’s Books app, and MOBI is for other mobile devices and e-readers), the HTML if you want to read it as-is in a web-browser, or the PDF format which is a universal file format that is supported by everything, even web browsers, so it’s a good one to download if you don’t know what format you need :) If you read on an eReader, though, I can’t recommend enough just downloading the format for your device. You get to keep a copy of the fic AND the eReader keeps it nicely formatted. It’s a BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL feature that Ao3 gave us, because I like downloading all my fics and read them later in iBooks. Once you start that, Nonny, you can’t do it any other way. AND at the VERY END of the fics, it links BACK to the original post so you can bookmark, kudos, and comment on it!! <3

So yeah, two options you can do to solve your poopy internet and still read long fics hee hee! <3

ANYWAY EXCUSE FOR A NEW LIST LOL. 

ALSO, side note, check out @silentauroriamthereal; a large chunk of her fics are both long AND one chapter, so it’s a good place to go and she’s a brilliant author so I don’t think you’ll be disappointed! <3 Plus a lot of her fics are on this list, so I am sorry hahah.

AND I wanted to make the list a bit longer than I had, so I picked fics over 20K, if that’s alright :) As always, if you wrote a 20k+ single chapter fic, let us know!

SINGLE CHAPTER FICS OVER 20K WORDS

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Shallow Grave by SilentAuror (E, 31,672 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, HLV Fix It, Infidelity, Pining Sherlock, First Person POV Sherlock) – Starts as Sherlock's plane is taking off at the end of His Last Vow. When he finds out that Moriarty is alive and that he's being recalled from his mission, Sherlock decides that he should have told John how he felt before he left. So he walks off the plane and kisses him.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding... Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

[bewaretheundead91]

Of Community Centers and Exhibits

Hello everyone I'm excited to post some of my original fiction that I'm working on. It's sort of a romantic comedy with enemies to lovers-goodness. I was slightly inspired by Basil, I know weird, to write this story. I started with one chapter and now I have several. I definitely wrote this with Basil lovers in mind. Obviously the face claim for the male character is Basil.

Please let me know what you think.

OFCXOMC

Chapter 1: Who really knows art

A man looks up at the large painting mounted on the main wall. Next to it was a large sign with "New studio art classes held here! By the talented Andy". It was large with reds and black smears swiped down against a dark background of greens and browns. He gripped the leather straps of his messenger bag, confusion at the purpose of it.

“I just don’t get it,” He says, placing a hand over his chin. “What does it mean?”

“Maybe you’re not supposed to know what it means.” A woman to his left says.

The man turns his head to look at the woman beside him. She was pinching her bottom lip and gazing up at the piece. She takes a deep breath and sighs.

“It’s just paint smeared across a canvas, a very large one in fact,” He states, turning back to look at the woman. She was all bundled up in a jacket and scarf, standing nervously looking at the painting. She rocks back and forth on her toes and heels. “And it’s in the lobby of all places.”

“Definitely was not meant for you then,” The woman turns her head and lifts a brow. He catches her dark blue eyes for a second before she turns back to the piece. “The work will provoke thoughts and feelings for those who view it as more than just paint on a canvas. The color usage and violent way the brush has been swiped across.”

“If you want to say so,” Jamie turns his head, blond curls bouncing with him and points up. “It's color, that doesn’t make sense.”

The woman laughs and turns her head to the man again. She shakes her head studying him.

“Then you must be void of all emotion.”

“That’s harsh coming from a stranger that knows nothing about me. And my niece can make that,” He says laughing. “And I got her a paint set for Christmas. She sent me a picture and it looks sort of like this.”

“Then your niece probably understands color better than you do.”

“You’re really funny you know that, I’m Jamie,” The man greets with his hand out. “And you are?”

“Check the painting,” She says. “The bottom right corner.”

Jamie looks at the painting and on the bottom is a signature. He leans in. The woman walks out of the lobby.

“Andy,” He says voice going louder. “You're the artist!”

Jamie runs after the woman. He throws open the door to the lobby and meets cold gusts of wind, blowing his coat back. He turns and barely catches the back of her long black coat as he starts off after her.

“An..ah.. Andy,” He says dodging an elderly woman. “So-sorry ma’am.”

“Slow down!” The elderly woman groutches.

The artist keeps waking away towards a back parking lot near the community center.

“I’m sorry!“ He shouts. “I’m sorry for insulting your painting!”

“What are you, some golden retriever dog chasing after me?”

“No,” He says, shaking his head, his blond hair moving with him.

“If the hair fits.” The woman points at her head.

“That’s quite rude, I just wanted to say sorry for insulting your work.”

“You clearly don’t understand anything about art.” She stops and shouts back.

“Oh I know a lot about art and that’s why I have such a strong opinion on it!”

“Bye James!” She shouts, giving him the middle finger. “Pompous ass.”

“It’s Jamie!” He shouts and returns the gesture. “Pompous ass.”

Jamie fixes his clothes and runs a hand through his unruly hair. He walks down the sidewalk leading to the parking lot following behind her quietly giving her space. The woman rounds the corner and disappears from his sight.

Andy adjusts her jacket and pulls out her phone.

“This installation was a bad idea. Dee,” Andy whines over the phone. “Especially for the community center! Why did I expect anyone who goes to a community center to get my work!”

“That’s a little harsh, they personally wanted you there, they like your process and your work. You’ve got an installation at the coolest venue in the city. Just remember that.”

“Some blonde blue-eyed pretty boy,” She says loudly. “basically ripped my work apart. What if people don’t understand my work? I didn’t even make it for other people!”

“That’s the thing about art babe, people may or may not get it! And do you really expect a man to understand something deep?”

“You’re right, I need to stop doing this to myself!” Andy says. “I need to breathe and go with it.”

“Are you going to get here soon? There is this showcase at Black Rose tonight and I really want to go.”

“Alright I’m on my way,” Andy says and rolls her eyes. “If there is one reason my installation exists it’s because of men like that.”

“Honey, don't even try to get to them. These men are dogs. You throw them a bone and they chase after it.”

Andy lets out a hard laugh.

“It’s not that funny.”

“No, I literally called the blond-haired blue-eye guy a golden retriever. He’s got this fluffy blonde curly hair.”

She shoves her phone in the back pocket of her pants and pulls out her keys. She presses a button to unlock the small SUV. The blonde man walks out from the corner towards a black old volkswagen. She makes eye contact with him.

“We go to the same community center. What do you expect, you little grumpy feline, who throws paint…”

“That was terrible, I’ve got to stop you,” Andy says, crossing her arms. “Hopefully writing isn’t your thing.”

“I write music. You’re a really rude woman.” He says crinkeling his face.

Andy’s mouth drops open and she quickly gets into her SUV. Before closing the door she shouts.

“Men don’t deserve my ability to be nice. Especially a man who couldn’t even give constructive criticism and only insults. Have a good night James.”

“It’s Jamie!”

Andy arrives at her friend’s apartment still in the clothes was wearing at the community center. She wears an oversized white t-shirt with cuffed sleeves over a pair of black jeans and her docs. Her hair was down tussled by the wind.

“You can’t be serious right now!” Her friend shouts with a disgusted look. “You’re going out like that? You look like you just ran some errands!”

“Yes, take it or leave it, Deetra. I could leave you for a bottle of red at mine.”

“I’ll let it slide since you’re a hot artist with the ‘the know in’ with the art community,” Deetra says pulling down on her red mini skirt. “I’m after the deep emotional type now, you know the mysterious ones who wear beanies.”

“And it’s backless,” Andy says. “I could pretend to be your masc presenting bisexual date.”

Deetra opens the black glass doors of Black Rose and pushes Andy forward. She stumbles into the dark bar feeling annoyed. Deetra pushes her again and she looks back at her fully glammed up friend.

“Alright I’ll buy you your first drink, what will it be?”

“A shot,” Andy says, crossing her arms. “A shot of tequila.”

“A shot it is,” The woman says and rolls her eyes.

Andy takes a look around the bar, it was empty tonight so far, but it was only 8. She finds a table out in the corner and sits down. Deetra hurries over to her, clicking her high heels loudly as she walks. “Not in the back, we’re not sitting in the back, not when I look like this. Do you want to drink tonight?”

“Yes…” Andy says hesitantly.

“Then the girls have to be seen tonight in order for us to get drunk.”

Andy grabs the shot and downs the contents in one swallow. She closes her eyes and lets the alcohol hit her stomach with a nice burn. She follows behind her friend to another table near the stage.

“Here?” Andy asks, annoyed. “It’s so close to the stage, the speakers get all muffled.”

“Why are you so grumpy? You usually love this kind of shit, you’ve got to support the arts,” Deetra says. “You poured money into that damn community center so let’s see what it’s all about.”

“Community center?”

“It’s a variety show with music,” Deetra says excitedly. “It’s supposed to draw in a big art crowd. This is a fundraiser.”

“At least it’s at a bar.”

“Come on Andy forget what that pretty boy with blond hair and blue eyes said?” Deetra says with the statement tuning into a question. “Wow, he's…”

Deetra adjusts her skirt and sits down on a stool. The table was small with two stools around it. Andy turns around and sees the man from earlier. He was getting the stage ready for the show. He was wearing  a loose Henry and jeans, the henley slightly falling down towards his shoulder. His hair was just as messy.

“He even looks the fucking part,” Andy gestures. “When he pulls on that beanie you want so badly I’m leaving.”

“Testing one two three,” He says, speaking into the mike. He looks down at the floor and Andy makes contact with him. His lips curl into an ah we meet again smile. He runs his hand through his hair. “Testing one two three, can you adjust the lighting a bit? It’s too bright.”

“And he's English,” Deetra says, making that look. “You didn’t mention that.”

“That's the blond-hair blue eyed guy from earlier, the one that insulted my work.”

“This is the golden retriever?” Her eyes go big. “Maybe he will be dumb enough to buy us some drinks.”

“I doubt it.” Andy shakes her head, takes off her black coat and moves off to the bar to buy her own drink. She approaches the bar and looks up at the beer list.

“What can I get you tonight Andy?” A bartender asks. “My wife is really excited about the exhibit opening up. Really happy that you’re using us to cater!”

“I’m glad Molly is happy with the exhibit, but I’m nervous as hell,” Andy looks up at the board again. “Let’s go with a sour tonight and surprise me.”

“I’ll go with a fruity one, how about a peach one.”

“Whatever she’s having, I’ll have the same and it’s on me,” Man says, slapping his hand on the table.

“No it’s alright Jim, I’m buying my own drink,” Andy turns her head to the man and gives him a straight face. It was the man from the lobby. “I think we’ve seen enough of each other today don’t you think?”

“The drink was to persuade you to stay for the show and hear some real music, that I like to call art.”

“Oh boy,” Andy sighs. “Dude, singing about heartbreak over and over again is dead. Which is what your types write about right? I mean what else do guys think about? Drinking? Male Privilege? The continuing of the patriarchy?”

“You must really hate men,” He says, slamming his card down on the table. “A tab for me and my friend here.”

“Andy, is this man a friend?”

“Today was the first day I knew of his existence,” She says and slams her own card down and grabs her drink. She looks at the man. “Start a tab Jim, it’s going to be a long night.”

“We’re already onto a good start,” The man says. “I was just trying to make it up to you.”

“Jamie is it?” Andy stops in her tracks. She gets a good look at his face. A strong nose and quite nice looking eyes. His lips were also nicely shaped. “Instead of buying me a drink, why not look up ways to constructively make an opinion on art. It helps everyone, not just me.”

Jamie stands still and Andy walks off to join her friend. She takes a seat and gulps down a sip of her beer. Deetra gives her a glare and Andy leans her elbow onto the table.

“What?”

“He’s just standing there, almost in a shocking way,” Deetra says and tilts her head. “How weird. He does sort of look like a golden retriever. That halo of curly hair.”

“Just ignore him. Maybe he will go away or leave me alone.”

“Why didn’t you get a free drink out of him?”

“We are not doing this Dee,” Andy says looking down at her drink. “I came here with you, isn’t that enough.”

“I guess it is.”

“Whatever. I'd rather be home.”

“Drink up!” Deetra says as she nudges Andy. “Maybe if you get drunk enough you’ll hear some music you like.”

Jamie walks onto the stage with an acoustic guitar strapped to his back. He walks up to the mike and Andy swears every woman’s posture changes.

“He’s not that attractive.”

“Hey everyone thank you for coming tonight,” He says and looks down at Andy. He gives her a wink.. “This project has been very important to the students in my workshop. This is a graduation of sorts. The songs and poetry performed tonight were all originally written by the students in my workshop. After many rehearsals I will give you our showcase.”

“Well damn,” Deetra says. “He’s a teacher at the community center as well.”

“I didn’t know that.” Andy says looking up.

“Feel like an ass right now?”

“Nope,” Andy says looking away. “He can run a workshop and not be able to sing and write.”

“We will find out tonight won’t we?”

The bar starts to fill up like it’s usual Friday night crowd.

Jamie walks onto the stage and everyone goes quiet. He lifts his acoustic guitar and starts slowly strumming the strings. He opens his mouth and a voice Andy did not expect start coming out of his mouth.

“I know what I need to grow tall, but I also have the means to make it fall,” He sings. “I’m so far away from home, so far away from it all. You’ve got to trust…”

“He’s good,” Deetra says, nudging Andy again. “Like really good. Oh come on. This entire show has been great and I know you want to donate some money.”

“He’s okay.” Andy mumbles beneath her breath.

“What was that?”

“He’s okay, but you know what I’m not going to call it art because he said what I made isn’t.”

“Don’t be a child.”

“I said he was okay,” Andy exaggerates. “He’s got a few good lines there.”

“I’m gonna give you a day with that bitterness.”

“Alright thank you everyone and have a good night,” Jamie says. “If you want to, you can buy the students a drink and then donate heaps of money to the center.”

Jamie’s walks off the stage and Andy gets up. Deetra stands up looking irritated. Andy pulls her long coat on and heads to the bar to close out .

“Can’t we stay longer?” Deetra begs.

“1 hour.” Andy says and rolls her eyes. “I’m getting a drink and going to stand outside for a bit to cool down.”

“Okay…”

“If you want to talk to the retriever, he’s all yours.”

Andy walks up to the bar and squeezes through the crowd. She pulls her card out to close out.

“Hey Jim I want to get one last drink and close out!” Andy shouts. “Make it one of those alcoholic hot chocolates with the marshmallows.”

“It’s on the house.”

“Please let me pay.”

“No, the exposure you’re giving us at the exhibit is enough!” He says happily. “I’ll even put extra marshmallows in it.”

“Jim, you're too good to me.”

Andy watches as he pours hot chocolate into a large mug and tops its with marshmallows. He hands her the mug with a smile.

“Enjoy and have a good night.”

Andy makes her way out to the back patio, three fire pits were lit and surrounded by people. They have a stand in the back where you can make s’mores. Andy smiles and takes a sip of her drink. She walks over to one of the fires and lets the warmth cover her. Staring at the fire she sees the door open from the bar, right when she sees the blond hair she turns around and walks off to a different fire. It was too late.

Jamie walks out and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket. He lights it and takes a long drag sighing as he blows smoke out of his mouth. He watches as the smoke floats up in a cloud. He moves his head from side to side to pop his neck.. Another cloud floats up to the night sky as he takes another drag and lets it go.

He turns to face the fire pit, looking at the people and the dancing fire. Then he spots a long black coat.

He takes another drag and mashes the cigarette on the ashtray. A wicked smile curves across his face as he sets off to talk to Andy.

She was standing in front of the fire sipping from a mug. He stands beside her in silence at first and just looks at her, studying her profile. The girl tilts her head to look at him.

“I’m going to take your advice,” Jamie says looking back at the fire, placing his hair behind his ears.“You’re right, that’s the first thing anyone should know is how to be constructive with opinions. Especially someone who knows and understands art.”

Andy nods, widening her eyes. She takes another sip of her drink.

“But,” Jamie says sharply, raising a finger. “Many people should know, Artists especially, that we can’t assume the level or skill of a person no matter how blonde or handsome they may be.”

Andy glares at him and starts to walk away.

“I was only trying to make a joke about something that really can hurt people. That was rude, telling me that I can’t write and was completely wrong.”

“Ah as rude as comparing a painting to your nieces work”

“You said she was talented. I guess we are even, we both have lessons to learn.”

“Don’t you have students you need to talk to?”

“Maybe you’re a new student of mine.”

“I’m leaving,” Andy says frustrated. “This is most I ever thought I would see of you.”

Andy downs the rest of her drink.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you again either, I’m just trying to make conversation. I see that I’ve overstepped boundaries,” Jamie throws his hands up, giving in. “I thought we could teach each other some things. We are running workshops at the center, maybe take a class or two to see what we know.”

“I’m stressed out,” Andy shouts. “I’ve got an exhibit opening up next Friday and you literally took a big shit on it.”

Folks around the fire lift their heads up.

“It was a terrible performance piece you all didn’t miss much.” And says out loud.

“Thank you for that.”  He says.

“Don’t worry about it, the art assholes move on pretty quickly.”

“Alright so maybe it’s time for you move on,” Jamie said. “You have an exhibit opening up that means other people find you talented. So who cares about the words of a cute English man with a very sexy accent making remarks.”

“You are incredible!” Andy says angrily. “This isn’t going to work. Have a good one.”

“So let’s be enemies,”  He says, placing a finger on his chin. “Perhaps a little competition?”

Andy stops walking and turns around. A competition.

“I’ve sparked your interest.”

“You’ve got my ears for a second. What are the stakes?”

“Whoever can pull in the largest audience at their end of the session's showcase wins.”

“There is already a potential confound with this competition.” Andy says gesturing.

“And why is that?” Jamie asks.

“Because people already know how to connect to music on an easy level,” Andy explains. “You didn’t even understand my work. The assumption is that if you can’t understand it then others won’t. It’s not a competition, words are easily understood by many people and evoke emotions easily. There would be no competition.”

“That’s another insult isn’t it? Are you calling the masses unitellegent?”

“It sure is buddy,” Andy walks away. “And that is a bit of a generalization don’t you think? I’m saying that so many people don’t want to take the time to understand art that is abstract organic shapes. They call it just color and brush strokes and compare it to art they feel is unskilled and juvenile. If you want that to be an insult go with that.”

“Bitch.”

“Write a song about it.” Andy shouts.

“That’s a good idea. I will.” James shouts. “Just for you, about you!

“Glad I can be a muse for you.”

“I hope I can be a muse for you.”

[ka-writes]

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Notes: I had already started on the second chapter before I posted the first one, so don’t expect updates every day... I also had to do a lot of googling for this chapter.

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Chapter 1 in case you missed it:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Warnings: Cussing, needles, character conflicts, intentional poisoning, poisoning, Jaws reference

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“Humans are [and text here]”

Chapter 2: What is this, an interview?

Tommy was now restrained to a chair six feet away from the weird scientist alien. He had a dark brown lab coat with a fuzzy yellow sweater underneath, matched with black pants and black leather boots. His gold rimmed Harry Potter glasses slipped down his nose bridge a bit before he pushed it up and shuffled through papers. He wore a red beanie with a big whiff of his curly chocolate hair. His skin was a weird translucent grayish color with blue speckles decorating it. He had deep brown eyes with an odd electric blue circle outlining the pupil.

His tongue licked his finger as he turned the page. This was a habit that most of the weird teachers and counselors did. It always annoyed Tommy. This time fear was also mixed into that annoyance. His saliva was tinted blue and he had sharp teeth which immediately reminded him of a shark.

“You have shark teeth.” Tommy stated absentmindedly. Clearly, this caught the scientist alien off guard.

“I have what?” The alien asked, confused.

“Shark teeth.. ya know like the weird fish creatures that eat people.” Tommy started rambling causing the shark-alien to become even more confused and slightly alarmed. “I mean I think they eat people. That’s what the shark movie showed… what was its name, Jaws I think? I dunno, my foster mom freaked out in the middle of it and we went home. That lady was weird.. She made us wear itchy clothes and take weird photos before she sent me back to the group home.”

“What?..” The shark-alien asked. Tommy jumped a bit. He forgot he was rambling to a stranger. Alien stranger at that.

“Doesn’t matter.. What's the first question bitch-boy?” Tommy liked the way the alien jumped at the randomly timed insults.

“Er- right.. First off, what’s your name?” The shark-alien asked after collecting himself.

“Tommy Innit. Yours bitch-boy?” Tommy replied.

“Wilbur Soot. Stop calling me bitch-boy!” Wilbur huffed.

“Next question, bitch-boy!” Tommy emphasized the name, getting an even angrier expression in return. Wilbur’s weird blue circle flashed red for a second which caught Tommy off guard.

Wilbur took a shaky breath before asking the next question. “How old are you?”

“Old enough! I am a big man!” Tommy stated. Yet another thing that pissed him off.

“Age?” Wilbur asked, clearly irritated.

“18.” Wilbur raised a brow, “14.” Tommy huffed. His age should only be his business not some alien-bitch who didn’t even have his file.

“If you keep lying, I may have to get the truth serum from the back.” Wilbur half-heartedly threatened. Tommy, the big man that he is, did not get scared at that statement, only slightly unsettled which clearly showed on his face.

“Now, do you have a family?” Tommy tensed at the question. It was a touchy question and was not one that was asked often especially with his reputation.

“I am a big man. I don’t need a family to be great.” Tommy stated, happy with the answer. The alien-bitch shifted awkwardly.

“Right… What is your diet?”

“Umm.. I dunno, whatever I can find. I am allergic to nuts though..” Wilbur nodded in understanding and wrote things down in his notepad.

“What plants are poisonous to you?” Wilbur asked without looking up from his notes.

“Ermm, poison Ivy, poison oak… uh I think parts of rhubarb, and most wild berries. I am not sure other than that.” Wilbur nodded while adding bits to his notes.

“What was the place you lived like?” This time Wilbur glanced up to look at Tommy. This was again another touchy subject… How many times would this alien bitch get into the sad background?

“Shitty.” Tommy snapped. That was the only response the bitch was gonna get.

“Right.. Do you have music on Earth?”

Tommy scoffed, “Of course we have music, dumbass!”

“Can you tell me about the animals there?” Wilbur asked, almost hopeful.. which was weird. What was he hoping for?

“Erm I guess..” Tommy mumbled, trying to figure out where to start, “There’s a bunch of animals. Mainly on land. My favorite would be the cow.”

“What’s that?” Curiosity stained Wilbur’s face. This got Tommy excited; he was practically beaming as he started talking.

“Well they are these big ruminants that make milk and have horns. There are a bunch of types too like the highland cow, which obviously is the most poggers one. They are a Scottish breed with really long hair. I met one once, on a field trip his name was Henry.” Tommy rambled on for the next two and a half hours, jumping from topic to topic and explaining anything that wasn’t personal. He usually ended those paths with short insults.

——————

Wilbur hated to stop the kids' detailed story, but two and a half celestial hours had already passed, and Dream would be coming to check soon. Luckily, he had a couple new poisons that could pass off as a research development. He had even managed to send the distressed signal and no doubt Phil would already be there with the SBI craft ready to fly at any given moment.

“Alright Tommy.” His voice dropped to a serious tone causing the kid to stop his story of how he got poisoned by mushrooms on a camping trip. “You’re gonna have to trust me just for a bit. I am going to get you off the ship at the next stop but in the meantime I need you to tell me how allergic you’re to nuts.” The kid immediately tensed at the question.

“I am mainly allergic to tree nuts.. almonds being the worst. After a few minutes I can’t breathe properly and I usually pass out. The doctor said if I don’t get it treated within 15 minutes, death is most likely.” He took a moment to go through the information. The kid most likely has an anaphylaxis reaction to tree nuts. Meaning either he would have to know the exact time of landing and exactly where Phil was or he needed another poison that was less severe.

“Alright, here is what we’re gonna do. I have a chemical mixture that is similar to that of rattlesnake venom. I also have a chemical substance that numbs any pain you may feel. Side effects would include being very very tired and delirious over the next few days. Along with being knocked out for a good ten hours. To put it simply I am gonna fake poison you, in order to get you off the ship. It’s your choice if you’re willing to do it.” Wilbur paused to study the kid still restrained in front of him. It was odd how relaxed the kid seemed to be in a situation like this. He had no urge as far as Wilbur was aware, to fight against anything that happened. His complaints only being those that touched on personal matters. It was unsettling to say the least, and intrigued Wilbur. He really wanted to unravel the life the kid had lived before this and how he was actually dealing with the situation.

There was a long pause before the kid spoke, “I wouldn’t mind getting away from the weird smiley bitch.. plus you seem nice and to know what you’re doing so sure. Poison me bitch.” He said the last sentence with an enthusiasm Wilbur wasn’t expecting. He took a moment to rethink his plan, which was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Dream says you better have advanced in your stupid testing. Otherwise he’s gonna kick you off the ship at the next stop.” Stated the rather rude blazeling, Sapnap. The blazeling never liked Wilbur and made a point to argue against any advancements at meals. That led to Dream installing a new system of emails and Wilbur eating meals alone.

“Yea yea, it’s going!” He yelled through the metal door.

“Better be.” The blazeling snapped before making a non quiet track back to his quarters.

“Stupid blazeling.” Wilbur grumbled as he sorted through vials and picked up new needles and measured out the substances. “We are going to start with the anesthetic then move onto the poison.” He softly addressed Tommy.

Wilbur swiftly disinfected Tommy’s shoulder and gave the needle. He then gave the second needle. Immediately Tommy slumped over. Wilbur swiftly took off Tommy’s restraints and moved him on to the patient bed in the back corner of the room. After the transfer was done he clipped the body restraints around Tommy and waited for the alert signaling landing.

After about five minutes the light next to the door turned blue. He moved over to his seat and clipped on the safety belts. The light turned green and the ship shook momentarily before a thud could be felt. Quickly as Wilbur could, he emptied the needles into the waste bin and waited for his soon-to-be-ex-boss to arrive.

Dream stepped through the door and glanced around the room before heading to Wilbur for his report.

“Report.” The dreamon commanded.

“The subject's body would have gone through a painfully slow death and have multiple organ failures if I did not intervene. The chemical mixes used created a conflict in the patient’s body which resulted in the patient falling into exhaustion as they recovered.” He responded in a monotone tone. Dream looked over Tommy. He flinched back in disgust as Tommy grunted in his sleep.

“Is that all?” The dreamon questioned.

“No.” Wilbur swallowed down his panic, “This is the last testing I will be doing with this crew.” The dreamon scoffed.

“I am assuming you’re getting off at this planet?” Dream spit. Wilbur knew he absolutely hated when people left his crew as he saw it as a direct violation of his loyalty.

“Yes.” The phantom stated, keeping his even tone apparent. With that Dream stormed out cursing in Siestian. Somewhere in the mess of words he told Wilbur to get his things.

Without hesitation he grabbed his bag from his quarters, which was held in a small room that branches off the lab. He half sprinted down the short hallway and straight to the bed Tommy was on. He swiftly unrestrained the human and sat him up. He slipped on boots and gloves then tied a cloak around the kid. He pulled the hood up and carried him off of the closest exit. There were faint yells from Dream down the hallway and reassurances from the only two beings that put up with him. And with that Wilbur was off to find the only craft he had ever called home. The SBI ship.

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Chapter 2- End

Words~ 1774

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End Notes: ‘‘twas to lazy to reread... sorry for minor mistakes. Also suggestions are always appreciated!! Please reblog...

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Chapter 3:

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Wilbur:

[murdereraisuha]

Final Chapter 5 Reflection

This will have my personal opinion/thoughts on:

The VDC outcome, Rook’s actions, and what could’ve made it better

The Rook reveal and Neige

Kalim, Jamil, and Epel’s development

The Grim scene

Total word count: 2134 words

--- 1 ---

So, RSA won the VDC. My feelings on this are mixed.

Looking at it in relation to the whole plot of TWST, it makes sense. It moves the chance for NRC to finally beat RSA to the upcoming magift tournament, which gives NRC’s potential victory a large amount of excitement/importance which it wouldn’t get from this middle of the year championship.

Furthermore, Rook’s actions do make sense based on his personality. If Vil really didn’t believe that he himself was beautiful, Rook of course would vote for the team that exhibited pure joy in their performance and therefore exhibited a heartfelt beauty. It would be a lie to vote for NRC, and it would disgrace both Rook and Vil. Rook’s actions plot wise also lead to the discussion about Vil valuing himself vs seeking value from others, which I think is a crucial thing for Vil to remember. While trying to gain recognition for hard work is good, and Vil certainly does deserve recognition, it’s much more important to maintain a good perception of yourself even when things happen or people wrongfully say things that might tear down your self-esteem

However, I still have issues with how this played out in relation to the plot of chapter 5. It’s unrealistic for all of Vil’s misgivings about himself to get fixed through the power of friendship and beating each other up. But, still, the team went through a lot in order to get to the championship united and ready to perform. It feels like a slap in the face for them to lose after all that. Especially the scene with Kalim and Epel crying while Ya Hoo cheerfully plays in the background, it's so comically dissonant. Though we already got an explanation from Vil about how Neige’s performance appeals to viewers, I was still shocked. At least it was a close competition rather than a crushing defeat. 

Also, while Rook’s message was sound, the timing was rather bad. Vil and the rest of the team just had a massive battle and then went through a whole song & dance performance without major blunders while still injured. Focusing on Vil’s self-esteem there makes it seem like Rook is just brushing all that determination and effort away. Though Vil doesn’t seem to truly hold it against Rook since he offers the handkerchief back to Rook when he cries, the situation still feels off.

In conclusion, I think that the plot events made sense. However, the execution of them could have been improved. As is, it’s hard to understand Rook’s motivations in this part due to the ridiculousness of RSA’s kid’s song winning. To fix that without just completely overhauling the plot, I believe that the admirable qualities of Neige and the dwarves should have been shown more clearly. For example, while the Pomefiore CM shows a glimpse of their bond, that’s nonexistent in the game. I think that incorporating that into the game (ex. a short scene of Neige reassuring the dwarves that their performance will go well before they step on stage) would help people understand Rook’s point of view better by showing instead of just telling us about the belief Neige has in his friends.. 

Moreover, alongside better reasons for why Rook choose RSA, I think it should be clearer why he did not choose NRC. It seems an attempt at warning of the “betrayal” was done with Vil menacingly saying he’ll win the VDC during the voting, followed by the shot of Rook just going “........”.  To make this less sudden, I think I would change episode 66. Though that episode has Vil saying that he’s ugly, because the team contradicts him and keeps him as the leader it makes it seem like the problem is solved there. Therefore, to better lead to Rook’s speech, I would change episode 66 to have Vil show more hesitation and signs that he still doesn’t believe in himself. 

--- 2 ---

Anyway, on to the reveal about Rook. I wasn’t sure what to think about the name slip up during the previous part, but I just guessed that maybe they’d met before and that meeting is related to RSA and Rook having light magic. Nope, we get Neige simp Rook. I think this reveal was really surprising, but more in a funny way than a “ruins Rook’s character” way. It’s nice to see Rook seriously caught off guard by Neige just nonchalantly exposing him in front of everyone, and everyone’s reactions were extremely funny.

I think that the chapter did a decent job of making it clear that Rook’s relationship with Neige as a fan of him is vastly different from Rook’s calm admiration of and friendship with Vil. I’m kind of curious now about how and when Rook became a fan though. Him being the 2nd member of the fan club implies that Rook found Neige when Neige still hadn’t gotten much fame yet. 

I loved everyone’s Ya Hoo too. Ace and Jamil having level 0 enthusiam, Kalim and Rook having level 1000 enthusiasm, Deuce being startled but slowly getting into it but still being kind of eh, Epel just keeping that wide-eyed confused expression the whole time. ボーテ、１００点. For Vil, I understand that he was probably faking his big smile for the benefit of the audience. However, I still hope his opinion of Neige has improved somewhat or will improve. Neige telling Vil that he’s still number one in the eyes of the people who voted for him was really sweet and their interactions with each other are pretty cute/funny when Vil isn’t trying to murder him.

Unlike other minor characters like Chenya and Farena who either weren’t involved in the plot or were only involved as backstory, Neige is Vil’s present rival and motivation for doing the stuff he does and over blotting. With such a large presence that continued all throughout the chapter and the Rook reveal, it would seem strange for Neige to suddenly drop out of existence come chapter 6.

Therefore, assuming that the Grim situation doesn’t derail the current patterns we’ve seen in the story, I think that Neige will be included as part of the Pomefiore involvement in chapter 6. Of course, it could be something small like getting called in for a favor near the end or just mentions of Rook continuing to write him fan letters. However, I’m hoping it’s something larger. From my analysis of the previous part:

Vil’s team’s performance had a lot of cohesion and rehearsal put into it, but it was very competitive focused. On the other hand, Neige and the dwarves obviously had a lot of fun with their performance. However, it was clumsy and they were ill prepared. Therefore, Vil could teach Neige more discipline and planning while Neige could teach Vil about how to not lose sight of finding joy in your work. 

Now that we have confirmation that Neige is a genuinely nice guy, I really want Vil & Neige friendship to happen, or for them to at least be on good terms with each other. It might just be my personal love for relationships where one person tries to be all rival-y but then the other is like “nope, I’m going to friend you whether you like it or not,” but I think this sort of development in the story of TWST would be really enjoyable to watch.

--- 3 ---

For the performance of Absolutely Beautiful, I love that Jamil got to be in the center for a bit. However, that also just makes me more disappointed that we didn’t get more Scarabia or anything about how their families are watching this. With the stuff in 5-30 and 5-34 focusing on Kalim’s perspective on things and his relationship with Jamil, I thought that at some point we would get a final scene focusing on them and how they’ve developed since chapter 4. What we got with  Jamil swooping in to the rescue with the magic carpet then talking about how he could sense that Kalim was about to do something stupid was better than nothing, but idk. I just love the writing and complexity these two have gotten and I wanted that to continue to the end. I still have hope though! If we can get a thing about Leona noticing the traces of magic in the arena, then we can get future appearances from the Scarabia boys too!... please...

Now, for Epel, I also have mixed feelings about his development throughout the chapter. I absolutely loved the beach scene with Deuce and Epel, it was so cute and I liked Epel realizing the power of beauty because of the apple juice Magicam post. However, I think the narrative missed something important. Though Epel’s views had a lot of improvement to be made, Vil’s treatment of him was also terrible and should have been addressed. I believe Vil saying that “throwing a tantrum and taking it out on others was terrible of him” in episode 66 implies that he’s realized that all his actions, not just the overblot, were wrong. However, it’s not clear enough that that was the intention. Vil does not apologize specifically for how he attempted to force Epel to conform to his own beliefs. Though there’s always chapter 6, it still doesn’t seem like the story will ever really address this issue, which is a shame to say the least.

Furthermore, in this final part, Epel offering to take the center position was really good and showed how much he’s grown since the beginning of the chapter. However, it still didn’t bring the whole “poison apple” thing to fruition. Absolutely no one made any comment on his cuteness or how it might rival Neige’s cuteness. Did they plan something with that but scraped it? Like, this is way too little pay off for such a focus on Vil shaping Epel into a way to best Neige. My disappointment with this ending might have to do with these past 3 main story updates being the only ones I’ve been in this fandom for, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever the cause of my disappointment may be, my disappointment still does exist.

--- 4 ---

To top off this roller coaster of a chapter and end this reflection with a more neutral analysis, we have the stuff with Mickey and Grim. Mickey seems really nice, I’m glad that Yuu seems to have made an ally in him. We certainly need one after whatever the hell just happened with Grim. I really have to give props for how unsettling both Grim’s appearance and the sounds during that scene were.

Though we’re obviously getting close to the endgame, the Ignihyde sneak peak that we got seems pretty normal and related to their personal problems rather than the plot. Though it would be interesting for a big change to happen like Yuu being out of commission for the chapter, I think it’s more likely that Yuu will be rescued, Grim just goes missing, then we don’t get much more info on that whole thing until the end of chapter 6 leading into chapter 7.

Anyway, for the scene itself I understand if it just because silent protagonist, don’t want to make them talk/do too much, but it feels kind of weird that there wasn’t really any indication of a struggle? Just standing there, staring at Grim, getting clawed, then black out. Nothing to indicate trying to step back. There was some weird clopping??? sound after he attacked but since the camera didn’t move that wasn’t Yuu collapsing.

Also, it might just be supposed to be “Grim’s laugh but creepy,” but his ケヒッ、 ケヒヒッ laughter sounds unusually distinctive? Idk, I just had the thought that it could be in reference to some other disney character with a similar laugh but idk who that would be since I’m not big into disney movies.

Right before he attacks, Grim also shouts “this is my stone!!!” Firstly, assuming that this stone is the same small size as the others, shouldn’t he already be done eating it? Yuu’s not exactly gonna stick their hand down his throat to retrieve it. So what stone is he talking about?

Well, we know that the magic crystal on the magic pens is supposed to collect blot so that it doesn’t built up inside someone, right? Blot accumulated from outright eating it instead of blot accumulated from casting magic is probably different, but what if some of the blot from the black stones did get gathered up by Grim’s crystal on his collar? We know how crazed he has been getting about the black stones. Is it so much of a stretch to think that he might be trying for more? That he might be trying to create instead of just find? 

How would a black magic crystal taste?