#very cunty very camp

[paganminiskirt]

Goku loves Vegeta but he loves him the way he loves all of his people. As soon as he saw Vegeta clawing at the dirt with a hole in his chest, desperate to get his final words out, he started to slot him into the mental place he slots his loved ones - as someone who was allowing him to be responsible for them, even while visibly hating every second of it, as someone he could help give the chance to grow. Vegeta provides him with the first positive (“positive”) look into their shared heritage, but loving Vegeta isn’t like, a form of love Goku has never experienced before. Goku upended Vegeta’s whole preconceived notion of power, humanity, right and wrong. There’s visual symbolism invoked of him literally making the ground under Vegeta’s feet crumble. Vegeta lost the will to pursue his singular passion in life after Goku died. He’d rip Goku’s skin off to be enveloped in his smell if he could.

And I think that’s part of why Bulma is so into him? You can choose to believe Yamcha cheated or you can not, but the underlying problem was still that she felt unstable in their relationship. Vegeta’s identity revolts against that issue. His whole introduction to the culture of earth was oriented around obsession, the stringent role of “rival” that can evoke as much insecure jealousy and possessiveness as a romantic relationship. (See how Vegeta got when it seemed like Goku liked fighting Hit more than him?) It fits!

[moliathh]

The liquor on your lips makes you dangerous

[sugar-on-fries]

i drew.

I don't like it much.

also a doodle.

[burst-of-iridescent]

hades in the pjo show feels more like a live action version of hades from disney’s hercules than the one from the lightning thief lmao

[235uranium]

as xmas season approaches i can feel myself craving rose gold and soft pink..... winter brings out the worst in me (the side of me that dresses like a christian horse girl)

[taviokapudding]

To the lil' one who asked me

"how do you know you're pan rather than bi?" "how did you come to terms with being nonbinary?"

So over 10 years ago this jpop boy group called KAT-TUN put me in a chokehold & one of the members {who still is part of the group to this day} named Kamenashi Kazuya did one of the most captivating solo performances; the performance of 1582 at Tokyo Dome in 2009 was basically my canon event. Istg it altered my brain chemistry forever

A post from 2011 breaks down everything if you want to understand the song & how it's presented if Japanese isn't your first language or you have never seen the footage before:

Hopefully this will never be taken down but here's the full clip ( because it's an original rip from 2009 it doesn't have cc or subs):

I was already aware I probably wasn't straight as young as like 6 years old but by 2009, as I was a freshman in highschool, I watched this performance and went "oh". Then I would spend 2010-2013 realizing what the differences between bisexuality and pansexuality and it's safe to say I lean more pan.

As for being nonbinary, it took a long time to come to terms with simply because being a 7 year old girl with facial hair & being forced to conform my whole life has put me under so much trauma & bs offline. Had the pandemic not happened, had I not interacted with medical professionals who asked if I could be intersex {I'm not btw, had to do ultrasounds and shit}, & not been around other adults who like me for me & allow me to bring it up- I think I would still be grappling with it.

But the day I confirmed I wasn't intersex (after spending a few weeks wondering if I really was nonbinary), I spent a whole 8hrs trying to relocate this video because I couldn't remember the song name and concert; then I rewatched it to see if how I felt at 14/15 years old was still the same. "Why would a cis man make me not straight?" "Why when I tell others about this specific performance they don't get it?" "Did I mis-remember that performance?" had been questions that internally chewed away at me until roughly a year ago. I resonated with the story, the low key drag performance, & honestly would still give anything to be Kame-chan in that moment

So in short, figure out what was the show, character, story, song, person, thing, etc. that gave you the epiphany that you're not straight and think about why you resonated with it- especially if you're unsure if you're trans or nonbinary. What shaped you as a child really does subconsciously guide you as an adult.

[michaelsspiraltits]

my past 24 hours have been very normal and i like this specific animal print the normal amount :3

[spellbound-multi]

im more like if margot verger was trans. oopsie

going to start dressing like will graham

[charlidos]

THE CHRONICLES OF THE CUNTYBAGO

I love the lore of the Fellowship, I can't get enough of it. And it's really turned into a kind of myth, hasn't it? The stories have been established, from being told again and again. Regardless if it's not the whole truth, or even not true at all. The lore has a life of its own. And it changes, depedning on who's talking, and over time.

The lore of the (inappropriately named) Cuntybago is a favourite; that famed make-up trailer bus where Orlando spent so much time with Viggo (hours and hours for years and years if you listen to Orlando) absorbing everything Viggo did.

So here's the Ultimate (very long) Cuntybago Post.

The Cuntybago is apparently where all the after-work parties happened. Most of what actually happened on it is still secret, private events not to be shared; after hours, after some wine/whisky drinking. What kind of special stuff was in the drawers? What did they really smoke? And, most intriguingly, who exactly was left onboard when everyone were ordered to get out... (Erm, V&O, perhaps?)I'm sure there are many more photos from the bus. Like a photo of Viggo & Orlando - which has yet to be seen. Oh, to have been a fly on that wall!

(A clip from the last day of the reshoots, in 2003. Because it's the time the bus has been talked about the most. Even if I'm unsure if this is the actual Cuntybago or not. Since it doesn't look green...)

Mortensen and Orlando Bloom spent much of their off-time on a green bus they named the "Cunty-Bago." Instead of the standard luxury lodging demanded by most stars on set, Viggo and co-star Orlando Bloom shared a converted bus while filming Rings. Viggo stocked the bus with a wine cellar and wallpapered the inside with candid behind-the-scenes photos. A source on the set said the bus was the site of frequent cast parties, with the motto, "Everyone is welcome, but when it's time to go, get out!" Indeed, they formed a club — The Cunty-Bago Club. [Viggo, Sean and Orlando] shared a make-up Winnebago, and through hours of beard and pointy-ear application formulated the rules of their society — most of which boil down to getting gossip and posting it on. [on what? I think the text is cut?]

There are very few quotes from Viggo. If you read his old interviews about life on set it sounds like he mostly worked 6 days a week, 14 hours a day. And in his free time, he went camping and fishing by himself and just drove around to get some me-time. That's it. It all sounds like mostly work and no play for Viggo. Cementing this image of him being ever serene, wise and a hard working method actor who never stopped being Aragorn. But then, we have the stories of this bus, which shows his wilder side...

(Viggo in ponytails, with a glass of wine and banana, in front of that mirror covered in photographs. They both took a lot of photos on set, so I guess a bunch of those photos are Orlando's.)

All Viggo's said is this:

"It was a crazy small bus." "Everything had cunt. It was 'cunt this' and 'cunt that'. We had a cuntmas tree, and we had cuntmas angels."

(Orlando on the makeup bus. )

Orlando has mostly mentioned the bus in passing, as he loves on Viggo, his great hero. And in his words, it always sounds like it was just the two of them... (when in fact it was from time to time also shared with Sean B, Bernard and Liv - but only Viggo & Orlando were there the whole time).

[Me and Viggo would] sit next to each other for a couple or hours each morning in a make-up truck. You get to know someone that way, more than by being in scenes with them. I used to sit next to him on the make-up bus, and find myself just staring at him while he was having his make-up done and drawing in his book or writing his notes. I would find myself fascinated. When I went back for re-shoots, I was on my own and he wasn't sitting there, and I suddenly was sitting in the makeup bus that we'd been driving around in for 18 months in New Zealand and got really emotional and felt that it was kind of weird to be there without him there and sort of reflected on all of the happy conversations and chats and glasses of wine and talks that we would have at the end of the day or whatever. He really had a huge impact on my life as an actor.

But he did say a few specific things too:

"Ahhh yes, the bus. It was mine, all mine. It was my precious." Bloom christened the bus the "C-word" when the makeup artist was fuming about someone and asked Bloom's advice. "You should kick him in the cunt and tell him to fuck off!" Viggo just lost it for half an hour. He kept saying, 'What did you say?' [The bus] became all about "the word. We took that word and took all of its power away. We made it the most loving word in the world. If you were a true cunt, you were the most amazing person in the world. It was a very free-spirited bus. It came about because me and Viggo kept being moved around, and we ended up on this bus one day. And the actors were fed up and we said, "This is it. This is our home and we are not moving. If they come, tell them to go away."

And finally from Orlando's IG in 2019 (obviously, to this day, a very important part of his life):

Our fondly named makeup bus, christened by Noreen my makeup artist and Viggo Mortensen, was, and remains in my heart and memory the most female and male empowered, joyful, disreputable and yet totally respectful place of work and creativity ever. Hours spent in the the makeup chair to apply ear’s and wigs and contacts." (They can't even agree who named it, Noreen never got any credit back then...)

(From the reshoots in 2003, Viggo gives Orlando some love and points out the photo message from Orlando on the mirror. But I want to know, who put up the pic of O with Brad Pitt? From this clip.)

The comments from everyone else in the cast about life on the Cuntybago are actually more enlightening. The rowdy gang reveal another side of life on set and of Viggo: as a drinking, partying prankster who loves crude language. It's definitely part of the fascination with Viggo. He's never one to talk about these things himself.

(I think they're wearing the special cuntebago t-shirts here. No idea from whence.)

Bernard Hill:

You are not supposed to know about it!" "There were five or six of us - Viggo, Orlando and Sean [Bean]. Liv came in and out [of the group]. Viggo has this special kind of crudeness that he is capable of. We were in the same make up bus [along with Bloom]. When I came back [from a break] it was called the Cuntybago. It was our private club. We had wine tasting sessions and had lots of parties. We also kept lots of food in there. Anything that was out [on the table], you could have. You could drink it, eat it, borrow it, smoke it… but don´t go looking in any drawers. That´s where we kept our 'special stuff'! [The Cuntybago bar would on occasion open very early] like 6:30am. There were days that we needed it. [I've made life-long friends with] everybody who was in the Cuntybago. Leaving the first time was such a huge wrench. Especially because of the Cuntybago, it was like our club. Fortunately we managed to get it back for Return of the king reshoots, so ROTK was the Return of the Cuntybago. We actually drove it out onto the streets for Viggo’s farewell. Viggo didn’t know we were going to do it, and when it started moving, you should have seen his face. I kept shouting, “Cunty libre! Cunty libre!” And the bus start leaving—we were breaking free. For propriety’s sake it was called the C-Bago Club, because you couldn’t put Cunty on the call sheet. Sean Bean came in, Liv was also a part of it. As soon as I get back to England I’m going to start the C-Bago web site: Orlando will do fashion and Viggo will do current affairs. I’ll probably do gossip — you know, the social calendar. Liv will do Hollywood and Sean Bean will do the art of war. It’ll be our little corner of the world.

(Bernard & Orlando Bloom getting make-up done. Here's the green bus again.)

Elijah:

Cuntybago is an amalgamation of 'Winnebago' and Viggo Mortensen´s cuss word of choice. I've gained an appreciation of the word cunt. Negative words - the best thing is to diffuse them by using and taking the meaning away. Cunt! Cunt! It's a great, great word. Very forceful. [Viggo] became utterly fascinated with it and it became the word of the film. Their Winnebago for makeup was called the Cuntybago. I was not a part of the Cuntybago unfortunately - it was the makeup room of Orlando, Viggo and Sean Bean - but it was a lovely place to visit. Cuntybago T-shirts were made up. There was a Cunty Christmas and we had a Cunty Christmas tree, all this stuff. Cate Blanchett [who plays the elf queen Galadriel] was deemed Her Cuntliness. I think we were all secretly jealous of the Cuntybago. I was anyway. I loved the atmosphere. Any place that had Viggo in the centre was always an interesting place to be… And that was where all the alcohol was. It was just spending all of that time with brits and Aussies. The word ‘Cunt’ came up quite a lot. I was fascinated by that and how it could become not so dirty. It’s one of the few swear words that still shock people." Is that why you called Cate Blanchett “Her Cuntliness? “Not my creation. She was called that by Viggo Mortensen. I put the blame on him. It was used during the making of the movie and seems a bit silly now. Wood says that his Cuntybago T-shirt is home in a drawer. "It's too big for me. I'm a small guy."

(A few photos up on the mirror in front of Viggo. I'm guessing it's Henry on the toilet (aww!), and Viggo and Orlando doing something something... Sharing a cigarette? Extinguishing a cigarette on Viggo's tongue? It looks kind of erotic. And who's the other dude?)

Billy:

"On Lord of the rings we'd go to Viggo and Orlando's trailer which was called The Cuntybago. Viggo was good for getting Irish whiskey, which was great but I keep trying to educate him on malt whisky. (To Billy it was just V&O's trailer. Like it's where they lived together...) Hobbits, an elf, a King of Men, maybe a dwarf. And quite a few times a wizard, sometimes a princess. Ha ha! That's enough to make anyone feel pissed. We had some good times on that one, some great times."

Peter Jackson:

"The actors had a spiritual connection to it. I liked the way they had photographs [Mortensen and Bloom] taken behind-the-scenes, plastered all over the walls."

(From the reshoots, I think. Beautifully blurry.)

Liv Tyler:

I can't believe he [Mortensen] talked about that. That was our private world. There was a lot of liquor on that bus. But the funniest thing about this bus is that this thing was a beast. It was so tiny; nothing worked. If they ever washed our hair it would go from scalding hot to freezing cold. There was no heat. Our makeup trailer became the center of things. It was given a really bad name that I cannot repeat. There were pranks, most of them also too dirty to tell. I love them all, all my costars. We would hang out mostly in the hair-and-makeup trailer, and after work at dinner. We would eat all the time and drink wine and laugh.  I think that a lot of that was the friendships that we made with each other and the fact that we all needed each other. It was vital that we all had each other to survive and to be able to laugh. Everybody had a really good sense of humor, thank God. We'd be constantly making jokes and decorating the trailer with ridiculous things and being rude and that was our sort of little bubble of escape in our makeup trailer.

(Photo by Liv, in the bus. You can see all the polaroids and stuff behind the unicorn elf.)

Cate Blanchett:

Viggo is the funkiest person I've ever met. I am far too polite to . . . he had this thing he called "the cunty-bago" . . . no, I guess I shouldn't go into that. So, yeah, he's incredible, very funny.

So, I can't quite figure out which bus The Cuntybago actually is: the green one Orlando is seen exiting? Or the yellow-ish one seen in the vids from the reshoots? Because they aren't the same. And in the vid from the final day, Bernard says the bus he drove on that last day was the same they'd had "for years" and which never moved before. While Orlando said they drove The Cuntybago around "for 18 months". So which bus was it? And did they drive the bus around or not? Or was it stationary? It's a mystery.

(This is the green bus - but is it the make-up trailer? Same as in the vid with Bernard.)

(Here in the reshoots, the bus is yellow-ish? And completely different. Looks more like a Winnebago than the green one really... So which one is The Cuntybago?)

ETA: it's the green striped one! Here's it's on the Cuntybago shirt:

ETA 2:

All my memories from that time is filtered through our bus, the famous C-bago. That was our haven, our social club and our home: it was our special place. We christened it the Cuntebago, but it had to be shortened to C-bago because Cuntebago couldn't go on the call sheets. It was a big make-up bus, and in one of its previous existences it obviously took people to and from places on a commercial basis, so it had the little place in the front that said where it was going, and we wanted Cuntebago on there: "Cuntebago - everywhere!" That was me, Viggo and Orlando. We were the cunts in the Cuntebago.

-Bernard Hill in Empire Magazine 2011.

That's all I have found about this infamous, mythical place, where all the magic happened, as they say. If anyone has info to add, please do! I want this post to be comprehensive!

[enehana]

Could you do Iris cabin headcanons please?

Of course bbg.

Iris Cabin Headcanons

Some of them have the ability to send iris messages without paying a drachma, but their mom can and will listen in.

Their hair gets sun bleached very easily, but it’s usually tinted red, blue, green, purple, etc.

They do great with the Apollo cabin because rainbows are formed when sunlight hits water droplets.

They get competitive with the Hermes cabin because Iris and Hermes are both messenger gods.

They tend to be really good at sewing. They make pride flags for the entire camp. They’re also great at painting.

They look a lot like the Hebe cabin because Hebe and Iris have the same taste. English teachers that don’t have sticks up their asses, daycare workers, therapists, etc.

They’re some of the kindest campers, which leads to them being underestimated a lot.

They have a garden where they grow flowers in the shape and colors of a rainbow. And patchouli and other scented herbs and spices

Their fatal flaw tends to be that they’re too forgiving. They like to see the good in people and ignore the bad.

They can impair other people’s vision; make their vision tinted rainbow for a period of time. Some children of Iris can permanently damage someone’s vision.

Hera treats Iris like her own children. Not the best, but better than other demigods.

They’re big fans of Chappell Roan, Reneé Rapp, and other cunty artists.

[casscainmainly]

Top 3 Ugliest Jason Todd Costumes

According to 2,375 votes on this very accurate and correct website!

Without further ado, in third place...

3. The Batman Ninja Thing

With 9.9% of votes! This costume was featured in the 2018 animated movie Batman Ninja.

Anti-Batman Ninja:

#the batman ninja one is just straight up ridiculous

#BATMAN NINJA MY BELOATHED

#seeing the ninja one for the first time#what

Pro-Batman Ninja:

#the batman ninja thing are camp and i love them

#batman ninja is a work of art

#the people voting for batman ninja are weak#and it's called a tengai

In second place, we have...

2. Mouth Helmet

With 33% of votes! This costume was featured in the New 52.

Anti-Mouth Helmet

#mouth helmet just looks like a nightmare

#mouth helmet is just plain ugly. no redeeming qualities to it

#mouth helmet#it was that or pill but at least pill isnt like suctioned onto his face

#mouth helmet is just irredeemably cringe

(I had so much to choose from. Mouth helmet you did not win this poll but you have the loudest hate faction by a mile!)

Pro-Mouth Helmet:

#dont like the mouth helmet but at least the rest of the outfit brings it a better score. and its not SO bad i guess.

#at least mouth helmet has a cool outfit

#mouth is.....a choice and not the correct one but not as bad as pill

Last, and I guess least, we have...

1. Pillhead!

With a clean sweep of 46.5% of votes! This costume was featured in Batman and Robin (2009).

Anti-Pillhead:

#pillhead is just… it doesn’t give Jason#and it’s awful

#pillhead easily... at least the mouth helmet looks like his original design of you squint

#everything about pillhead was comically bad

#There is no suit ik existence I hate more than pillhead

Pro-Pillhead:

#I love pillhead tbh#pillhead 4eva

#i am in the minority because i think the grant morrison costume is camp#supervillain vibes. he was going through something in that run

#pillhead at least has some cunty-ness to it

#pilhead is ridonk but has some measure of class

Although Pillhead swept, there was a lot of Pillhead defense in the notes so it also has its fans and defenders. So even if you don't agree between the top two, pretty much everyone agreed Mouth Helmet and Pillhead are the worst!

Check out the full results here. The ones that got the least votes are Original Red Hood and Rebirth, which each got 0.9%!

[saintsenara]

bellatrix/Nagini

Lucius Malfoy/Albus Dumbledore

Tom Riddle (Voldemort)/ Orion or Cygnus Black

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

bellatrix lestrange/nagini

i regret to say, i have actually devoted time to thinking about bellatrix and nagini's relationship - because i need to get out more - and have become committed to the view that they fucking loathe each other, since each resents the other's ability to command voldemort's attention.

and we all know that's an enemies-to-lovers premise for the ages.

albus dumbledore/lucius malfoy

which got a shoutout of its own from another anon with taste:

we have to stan! lucius is at the peak of his cunty powers during chamber of secrets and prisoner of azkaban [before voldemort kicks him into a flop era by strutting out of that cauldron], and what does he choose to use them for? flouncing up to hogwarts in his best wig and beefing with dumbledore in increasingly camp ways.

my favourite? when he presents him with the order of suspension in chamber of secrets:

"Dreadful thing, Dumbledore," said Malfoy lazily, taking out a long roll of parchment, "but the governors feel it's time for you to step aside. This is an Order of Suspension - you'll find all twelve signatures on it. I'm afraid we feel you're losing your touch. How many attacks have there been now? Two more this afternoon, wasn't it? At this rate, there'll be no Muggle-borns left at Hogwarts, and we all know what an awful loss that would be to the school."

immaculate.

but why would lucius want to see dumbledore so much that he sets a basilisk loose in a school / threatens to murder the families of anyone who won't back him in his plan to suspend dumbledore [so he can swoop in and offer a shoulder to cry on] / orders his own son to get mauled by a hippogriff / doesn't say anything about the fact dumbledore has casually hired a werewolf [despite the fact snape definitely mentioned it]?

simple. because dumbledore won't answer his texts.

orion black/tom riddle cygnus black/tom riddle

obviously, as someone who will die on the hill that the black family isn't particularly politically or socially important, i don't back this in any way connected to the classic "tom riddle sings lana del rey's fucked my way to the top" trope.

i do back it because fucking your mistress' dad - and then telling him his daughter's better in bed than he is - is hot. which deals with cygnus.

and because fucking regulus' dad and boasting about it in a death eater meeting is iconic.

especially since - let's be real - voldemort couldn't pick regulus out of a line-up. and so the break-down which would ensue when he realised that voldemort hadn't even banged orion to humiliate him would be iconic.

[the answer to the "why did regulus turn against voldemort?" question has been discovered...

[kittymoneymonster]

Augusta Gone (2006) ☀️

This movie touches on the unethical practices of troubled teen camps but is also very cunty

[bananaactivity]

I’m not the biggest fan of portrayal of OG Captian Hook in Rise of Red.

He’s not as cunty on camera as his son unfortunate, and due to the rushed nature of the film we don’t even get an at least 3 min scene pack of him! LAME 😰

I was a big fan of Harry Hook when I was in middle school of course so I decided to redesign his dad and that made me want to do my own AU rewrite of like the entirety of the whole thing. It’s definitely much more explicit than the og and there are a lot of changes. ( I never read the books except Mals spell book so any book plot is not accounted for, nor any random tv shows or specials either cause I’m not the biggest fan of those… they literally ruin all the camp energy 😒)

Here’s the hook I based my design off of. I feel like James was giving more so preppy academic then pirate Captian cunt.

I also wish they had given him a tricorn hat cause they gave his son one and it looked bad on him but it was cute ☹️

My Hook is aged up here about 23. Yeah he is smoking cause that’s something Hooks always done 😔 Morgie tries to get him to quit. I also renamed him Killian James Hook after Once opón a time Hook cause Harry and James Hook is giving Harry and James Potter fr 😒

Also my Harry will be based of my Hooks looks curly hair and facial features and all. I’ll get into more details about the world because it very different but feel free to ask any questions!

[the-grungler]

kaito fuji on: two minutes of his balls finally dropping, a lifetime of dropping the ball

a/n: short romancebiguous OOC slice of life/fluff cringe for our resident pissboy (why are his legs spread so wide in his new cards what is this cunty ballerina doing)

warning - this bitch is so uncooked its still shitting salmonella on the barn

-------

There is no joy without misery. Simple fact of life.

"I'm so glad to have a friend like you!"

His laugh was shrill through the pain. At least cardiac arrest would never friend zone him (technically, right? No, that was 100% what it was. She hated his sad little guts, for sure). Of course, likewise, the conversation always swiveled into something of the sort.

Kaito Fuji was a man of great inaction. In other words, he did not get that - in either combat or women.

Really, he was happy with this, anyway.

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!" he slammed his fists against the porcelain of his sink, glaring holes into the eyes of that bleach blond bitch on the other side of his mirror. Water soaked his face to his collar, continuous splashing through his face to pretend he was pulling himself together.

"This is it... I'm gonna fucking die alone! And poor! What kind of pathetic loser does that!?"

The face in the mirror passed him a solemn, knowing look.

He grit his teeth. It wasn't like he wasn't prepared for this on a day to day basis. Kaito was nothing if not a veteran of rejection. And so, he took deep breaths until he was limp enough to swallow the truth. Couldn't feel bad about an outcome if you were always prepared for the worst one, after all.

"That's right!" He creepily grinned at himself. "I knew this was gonna happen all along, anyway! Just gotta move on..."

He macho'd up a determined glare into his own freckles. "Who needs women, anyway? Pshhhh! That's-That's right! I can be a cool, independent man who don't need no girl! Kaito Fuji always just gets over it."

His smile slowly fell.

"...What the fuck am I doing?"

---

He was rejected, that was fine. He was rejected, that was fine. Four hours of drilling it into himself with a cheap tub of mint ice cream. Two hours of actual sleep. At least he had a new playlist of rabid cat videos.

"Hey... o... you... doing okay?" A soft finger poked his cheek.

He leapt out of his seat like the very same cat on his phone at odds with a cucumber. His chair clattered so loudly everyone in the room jumped. "EEEK!? AH-! UH- Heyyy, Honor Roll!" Real smooth, Kaito.

Wait, why does that matter? I've already been rejected. I'm a free man.

Sunrise filtered soft under the windows. It was a very not romantic scene where the guy never sexily caught the girl mid trip with the curtains fluttering and rose filter forming between their eyes.

He took a deep breath. What did they say helped with anxiety? Imagine the other party as a naked potato?

He offered the sweet little angel in front of him a mental apology for what he was about to do to her image.

He blinked, gears halting. "What're you doing here so early anyway? Class starts in fourty five minutes."

"Hm?" She dragged a playful grin. "I could ask you that very same question. Maybe I'm just a top notch student?"

He laughed - too tired from the previous night's endeavors to remember how soprano he normally sounded. "I'll bet - surviving in this hellhole itself should be its own degree, or something. If punctuality could dictate our lives, I'd be camping out here all night. ...Which is sorta why I come here every morning. This is my normal routine."

"Oh?"

He laughed sheepishly, "Poor guy's gotta do something to match up with the rest of these monsters of classmates, you know?" He sighed pitifully. "Remedial's are definitely teaching me a lesson, at least..."

Her mouth parted wordlessly.

"W - What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all. You just seem a little different today, is all." She had a contemplative tilt to her head. "I mean, it is a special one, isn't it?"

"Is it?" He blinked, placing his chin between his fingers. "Like, one of those Instagram posts? 'Treasure each moment like a gift... that's why we call it the present'."

She let out a chortle and a scoff. "I didn't mean it that cheesily, I swear."

His grin went crooked. "I could. I mean, you're here now, aren't you?"

"...oh. R-Really?" She blinked, shyly burying her cheek in a tuft of hair. "...I didn't realize you had a side of you like this, y'know."

He let out an abrasive snort. "Like...complete cringe? I do it all the time, Honor Roll." He puffed out his chest. "You just don't see cuz I always make sure to show you my coolest."

She giggled, slowly devolving into soft laughter she had to press in with her hands.

"...What? Did I say something funny?"

"Sorry, I think I'm just... Still processing your studious side," She broke out into breathy chuckles.

"Heh, nah. It's not like I actually do much, anyway. If the teacher isn't here I just go roam the cafeteria for cool food snaps." He said. "Looks like that time's about here, too. You interested?" He thumbed a smug finger at himself. "On me, of course."

She smiled. "I really do hope to repay you one of these days."

They made light small talk as they rounded the corner to the staircase. A fresh Caution: Wet sign was left in that (disturbingly attractive) janitor's morning rounds, which could never be choppy foreshadowing for anything extremely cliche about to happen.

Kaito would never admit it to anyone, but he felt badass in these mornings. Like these hours were a completely separate world from the mortal plane, so casually ethereal.

That was probably because his preferred routine was waking up at noon, though.

A scream had him jolting in his skin, as he watched Honor Roll scrabble and slip on the top stair. She flailed for the railing, slipping coarsely through panicked fingers.

"SHIIIIIIT!" he leapt forward, just barely managing to tug her into the less medically damaging direction. This didn't manage to apply to him, though, as the awkward, unfamiliar motions had his foot jerking down the step in the wrong way, his torso quickly following into a concussive tumble down the whole stairway.

She winced he made a collision with each step, leaving him sprawled out on the landing with a miserable hand against his skull. She cursed, cautiously speeding down with a touchingly panicked call of his name.

She knelt by his side, propping him up by his spine with awkward, lost hands. "Jesus, I'm so sorry... Your face is all beat up and bruised...!"

"...Nah. I'm a ghoul, at the very least. Better me than you, you know?" He found himself throwing his head back with a bark of a laugh. He wasn't sure how long it went on for, just that he must've looked ridiculous right now.

"Are... you sure? That looked painful..."

"Hahaha! Yeah, it hurts like a bitch. But just let me have this one - I'll probably cry and snivel later." His grin was luminescent under the sunrise, softening the harsh edges that usually came with it. "...I know I'm just a coward, but I still have pride. What kind of guy would I be letting you see me lose to a flight of stairs?"

"Ha!" Her lips curved in careful tenderness. "...You're such a dork." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cleanly ribboned handkerchief, undoing it with slow fingers.

Kaito froze in headlights as she dabbed the grime off his cheek in careful strokes.

"I - you- b - but-?"

"Happy birthday, Kaito. Sorry, it's not as fancy as the stuff the others gave you... But, at least we know it'll be useful, huh?"

The air was electrically still.

But - rejection - ? Hold on - she remembered - I - she's giving me uh aE uh uh -?????

Fire bursted under his skin.

Girl - touching me- handkerchief present??? Feelings??? Could it be? Doki doki????

Was his sad excuse of a college kid romance finally getting some action?

"LISTEN - I - UH I-I'M STILL - WAIT I JUST UM - "

He bluescreened.

"P-PLEASE BE GENTLE...?"

The girl's face grew jaded.

"...What."

---

---

i'm notoriously shit at fluff but i love this loser (sigh)

other tokyo debunker brainrot works for those who like dumpster fires and feeding my maniacal ego:

(u should comission me for smth teehee [<broke asf]):

[slurping-up-grass]

Twinks and Sex Workers in 19th century wartime literature

(if this is of interest to you)

So I'm sure we've all heard of Dorian Gay *gray*- I hated that shit, too many descriptions of flowers, not enough evil satanic sensual not-so-heterosexual romance for my tastes.

This academic year, the school has decided that I should read Maupassant's Boule de Suif, a book set just after the french defeat in the Franco-Prussian war of 1871, where France is still being occupied by German soldiers.

The author himself fought in the war and has much to say from this experience, but as we stumble into the second chapter, we find ourselves face to face with "Mademoiselle Fifi", who, as a non native French speaker, took me a beat to comprehend is a male, German, second lieutenant so twinkish in attitude and physique that his comrades have nicknamed him "Little Miss Fifi".

French is a strictly gender-binary language, and Maupassant consistently refers to Mr Mme Fifi with feminine pronouns and conjugation, which is quite an incredible level of gender-bending for his time period, considering that the language requires you to specify far more frequently than in English the gender of the person you are talking about, and Maupassant narrates "woman".

Our introduction to this character is remeniscent of other notable twinks-

Hamilton:🎵peach fuzz and he can't even grow it🎵

Mme Fifi: "pale face where her burgeoning moustache was barely visible"

And continues:

Dorian Gray "made a little moue of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he had rather taken a fancy"

Mme Fifi "had taken up the habit of expressing her sovreign discontent towards people and things"

-basically, the common thread is cuntiness.

Maupassant fixates on Mme Fifi's teeny-weeny baby white waist for a little bit too long and we begin to wonder what might have really motivated him to drop out of law school to join the big manly war of 1781.

The men decide that they need some good prostitutes for their party, and Maupassant notes that "Mme Fifi" "herself" seemed "out of place". She is very uncomfortable, sitting up and down in her chair and decides she wants to break something, so stands up and shoots a painting of a woman with a moustache, you know, like the moustache he is too "coquette🎀"* to grow? *feminine

So after Frankenfurter reminds everyone that this is his god-damed rocky-horror gay-ass castle and he gets uncomfy when people put women in it, they all go to the castle museum where Fifi begins happily stimming and clapping her hands because they are going to play her favourite game "making faces".

She created this game after her meanie superior officers refused to "Ding-don-don" the churchbells for entertainment even after she tried "pussycat manners, womanly cajolery, and soft whispers of a mistress hysterical with desire" to persuade them.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO CREATE A MORE CAMP CHARACTER?

Sidepoint- a consistent theme that redevelops here is whether french "women of pleasure" should feel guilty for betraying their country by sleeping with German occupying soldiers, or whether this is just a service they sell to survive (the prostitutes reassure eachother that it is just their job and they shouldn't feel guilty.)

"It's the job that wants that"

They don't desire the soldiers, the separate entity that is their employment does.

The women get put in size order and the smallest woman (Rachel) is given to Fifi, the twinkiest man.

He then blows smoke in her mouth, which is pretty gross, but she doesn't voice her anger. We get the impression he is either freaky, or really not into women because instead of engaging in traditional pleasure, he enjoys pinching her to make her shout, then making out with her and randomly biting her to make her bleed.

He looks her in the eyes and reminds her he is paying to be able to do whatever he likes to her.

The men begin toasting the things they own and include in this The Women of France. Rachel cannot help but correct:

"Me! Me! I am not a woman, I am a whore; that is absolutely all we have given to the Prussians."

-she breaks the illusion of desire, this is a job to her

He slaps her. She stabs him. FIFI DIES. The women are locked up. There is disorder and Rachel escapes. The soldiers are punished for forgetting the aims of the war and exploiting their position with prostitutes. Rachel hides in the church, which is sacred ground the soldiers cannot enter, and is remembered as a hero after the occupation.

So yeah, patriotic prostitutes and crazy, jealous twinks🌈

I am fully convinced that nobody will ever read this @strange-aeons