#very coded each of them
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closing in on the end of fmab (with my friend jumping in to witness it with me) and 13 episodes left to go... and i realized i could merge my interests. so heres outfit swaps of claus from mother 3 and edward
if you found this through the mother 3 tags and want to follow me my mother exclusive account is @tanejineri, im only posting it on here due to the fma art falling under this account
#art#fullmetal alchemist#fma#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fmab#edward elric#mother 3#claus mother 3#masked man mother 3#im so scared#but im also so excited#theyre interchangable characters i think#very coded each of them#honeysnap
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David Tennant pissing off the Prime Minister bc he told government officials to stfu over their anti-trans bigotry and Michael Sheen literally poisoning himself investigating corporations dumping toxic chemicals in underprivileged areas is NOT the energy I expected from 2024 but oh man am I here for it.
#david tennant#michael sheen#we dont deserve them#and its all very aziraphale and crowley codes imo#i feel like they each have a little kernel of their characters in them
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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i saw ryoko kui's dunmeshi page of laios hugging everyone in his party, and i wanted to make one for sombra with everyone in talon
#my art#overwatch#talon#sombra#olivia colomar#i just know sigma and mauga gives great hugs#mauga will crush ur bones with his hugs#adopted grandpa coded sigma#last time moira felt an embrace from a woman it was from mercy but they're exes now so she's just bitter and cranky#if she gets hugged she'd start crying#i find talon very interesting because they don't even share goals they're just there as means to their own ends#yet they still have to work together in a literal terr0rist organization#they probably think there's no sense of camaraderie between them but they do care about each other even if it's just a little#like in that volskaya cinematic
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emily prentiss + leaving and coming back for her family
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverseedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#femalecharacters#bitchys#mine#edit#*#category*#tag meta#forever thinking about emily prentiss as a yoyo falling away from her family and coming back when they tug#and that her motivation for back and forth is the same - it's always about what she thinks is best for her family in that moment#her choice is always to protect them and the fact that she leaves to protect them from HER? that she always sees herself as the problem??#(she ruined matthew she betrayed doyle she killed tsia)#BUT BUT BUT them needing her? hotch asking her to lead reid asking her to fight jj asking her to stay??? she always /always/ comes back#and i find it very interesting that this yoyoing usually runs parallel to her own moral reflection - she left the first time because she#both morally objected to strauss's political game and to protect the team as individuals. she came back in s7 because she wanted something#'clean.' and she considered leaving in s13 and s17 because she had broken her own moral code each time. and that's such a meaty facet#of emily as a character because her priority is ALWAYS her family and protecting them. but what that looks like changes and costs#and is never ever an easy choice for her. emily does what she needs to as a protector but she doesn't let herself off the hook. she thinks#DEEPLY about what she does and whether she's ok with her actions. which sends her toward distancing herself from her family#for their own protection (because she's the problem see above) and the whole cycle starts again!!#(someday i'll rant about how this all ties into her leaving in run - the one time it was about HER but also not - but i'm out of tag space)
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orihime's confession to ichigo evoking the idea of time ["five lifefimes"] vs ichigo's pre-confession evoking the idea of time ["can you make time for me?"]...something about ichigo wanting orihime's time and orihime promising five lifetimes worth of it...something about both of them seeing time spent together as the biggest luxury life could give them...that they had ten whole years between the yhwach battle and the next time we saw them...ten years where they didn't battle anything and didn't rush off to risk their lives, just sat around and spent time together, talking about nothing and everything. and both of them valuing that so much because all they've ever wanted is the other person's...time
#very 2014-coded post i know but i am a 2014-coded blogger at heart#ichigo had 10 straight years where nobody demanded anything of him and one of the first things he did was wife up the love of his life lmao#he really said life is short and i want to spend what little of it i have left by watching laugh hour reruns with orihime#because fundamentally all they've ever loved doing was hanging out with each other....bffs i love them#ichihime#they have sooo many memories too...friends..battles....school anecdotes. and then kazui goes off to college and they reminisce about him to#i bet many conversations during ichigo and orihime's relationship start with them going 'remember when...'#because they lived 90% of their lives together
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Did you see the clip of Joe yesterday?
Is it a clip now? Oh lord....was it funny at least?
It was the first time he ever used the F word in a conference.
He cursed? Y'all lying...I be trying to get him to curse, he don't curse when I'm talking to him...
#again love love loveeee this style of press conference where they get joe to talk about ja'marr a lot the first day#then report everything he said back to ja'marr the next day#truly they do have to communicate with each other in the MOST indirect convoluted ways#exhausting! just make them do these together!!! can you imagine them arguing about whether ja'marr's ever asked for the ball like that??#but still. this version of reality is also Very Good.#is it a clip now?? oh lord... just so wife embarrassed about husband coded if i'm being honest!#like 'oh what did he say now!! i hope it was at least funny!'#and then not believing that joe cursed (just like he didn't believe joe winked earlier in the year)#constantly trying to figure this man out <3#you know he's going to be on joe even more to curse now#the thing is i feel like joe probably doesn't curse much in casual conversion. midwestern polite boy and all that#but he's a grown-ass man so i'm sure he DOES curse occasionally#but maybe knowing how much ja'marr wants him to...he purposefully does it less around him to mess with him#that's a dynamic i fully believe for them#ja'marr chase#joe burrow#joe'marr
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scribbles based on my Another Wonderful Life file where i discovered Rock and Nami showing up together at Vesta’s farmhouse late at night on multiple occasions to cause various types of chaos and disturbance and havoc until Marlin and Vesta’s bedtime (which they both announce in unison to kick everyone out) this included
Rock levitating and attempting to rizz up vesta
Nami making a beeline for Celia’s room where she stands around making very subtle remarks (celia isn’t even in her room)
Marlin Enduring
haunting crime scene photos of the shenanigans:
#bokumono#my art#harvest moon#rock tumbling (sos)#hm anwl#harvest moon a wonderful life#hm awl#story of seasons#harvest moon another wonderful life#rock (awl)#cora clownposting content#nami (awl)#marlin (awl)#awl pony#sos awl#story of seasons a wonderful life#hmanwl#for some reason i’m very amused when people visit each other in awl#levitating rock reminded me of mystery of the druids somehow. hence lowryposing#marlin is halligan coded. to me#rock and marlin were both on the murders squad when they lived in the city and fought for dominance over the pair of scissors#(the scissors don’t belong to either of them)#marlin’s myriad health issues come from his diet of pitza and cigarettes and straight medical alcohol#also the last picture is inspired by a very suspicious line vesta says in response to seeing the milker#which somehow sounds worse in japanese because of the phrasing#instead of ‘planning to milk me?’ she’s like ‘are you trying to squeeze mine?’#anyway. rock would take her ‘i’d like to see you try!’ literally and then get killed i think#i’m sorry (not sorry enough)#after analyzing everyone’s dialogue very scientifically i once again feel that the girls anwl lines have 1000% more bittersweet yearning#(no bias in analysis at all) i can’t explain it their lines obviously were targeted at me to make me long for them
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Just listened to "Want it so BAD", the new song by Han and Lee Know and, after reading the lyrics twice, let me tell you:
If there's still people who claim they're just friends, I'll lose my faith in humanity. Those guys are the real delulu here because what the fuck? With this song they basically confirmed everything we've heard since debut and screamed to the world they're, in fact, very much in love and not in a platonic way. They're married, your honour. This song basically confirms it, it states firmly and without a shadow of doubt that MINSUNG is fucking REAL and it has been since the survival show.
So for all those who don't agree with it, go argue with the wall. Us, the minsung whores and defenders, are going to fucking celebrate this gift to humanity.
Now lets focus on the parts where they specifically mention their first meeting, something we've heard from both of them in skz episodes, but now the uncensored version.
Minho: "I fell in love with you unexpectedly, couldn't get any work done, so many thoughts in my head keep me awake at night, spring snuck into my heart and left me frozen with excitement, i'm not used to it i know it's pain but i really want it so BAD" 😭😭😭😭😭 this is so minsung pre-debut coded omg, he's so fucking cute in the early states of love. knowing he was going to suffer but he loved him so much he just kept going.
Jisung: "Ride, come closer, just the two of us"🥺🥺 "together we make a whole romantic comedy movie" "let's get is started, getting anxious, can't think straight" "love you, i wanna place mysef in a spot next to you" "i'll hold you tight and say i've always been waiting for this moment" "the moment I first saw you, it was meant to be. For me, it's you"💀💀💀💀💀my man wasn't even being subtle here, he didn't try
In conclusion: Minsung is more real and solid that my parents' marriage and anyone who disagrees please come and kiss my ass. thank you❤
#i really need to know the behind the scenes of this recording#were they blushing like crazy? giggling? specially minho#were chan and changbin laughing their asses off? cringing at the brutal display of fluffy incredible love in front of them?#did they have a part in the lyrics or they just produced the music?#i feel it was jisung in charge of writing his part and then minho did his because c'mon#the lyrics are VERY clear#this isn't a love song dedicated to a random person or for Stays to self-insert in#this is heavily minsung coded#i want to see what went on as they recorded it#imagine that they kept their parts in secret from the other and when they start singing them they just blush and look lovingly at each othe#because everything they say it's true and they know it but still they can't believe it#i love them so much you have no idea#minsung#minsung song#han jisung x lee know
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www!reader WILL call batman a pussy for not killing on her private twitter. she does it like every other day. its cathartic
#sophie speaks#series:www#all of the batfam: i have a very complicated relationship with the idea of killing as i follow a code that i know has caused thousands of-#lost lives and hurt people. but i still follow it because i know its the right thing to do#reader and jason: what like a baby???#i actually wrote www!reader to reflect all of the guys like... worst traits#shes obsessive like tim ignores her problems like dick is completely consumed by vengeance like jason and just generally petty like damian#hand in unlovable hand#and you havent seen readers more petty side yet but believe me you WILL#her and damians interactions always crack me up because they're just so.#genuinely miserable around each other but both too stubborn to concede any ground#damian: i think ur here to cause trouble and steal things#reader: i am literally working at a soup kitchen. ur only allowed to bitch if u help#which of course he does hes a good boy but the soup kitchen definitely has a weird vibe when the two of them are around#u dont have to worry about ur own problems look at these two obviously emotionally incompetent people bickering with eachother#anyways what was i saying
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You're my rival. Of course I think you're pretty.
#textpost#words#kazzy's diary#this is not my way of telling you guys i have a new crush but i do have a worstie and he is objectively very pretty and i should say it#however he is too young for me and it would be weird if there was anything between us and i'm totally chill to just be his worst friend#and that's becoming a straight up rivalry and i am SO here for it i adore it#he's on lights out patrol at camp and i make it my goal to get my campers to bed and asleep (or at least lights out and quiet) before he#gets around to knock on the door and tell us to go to bed because he enjoys doing that and i enjoy depriving him of it#anytime anyone is hyping him up i make it my goal to yell 'boo!' very loudly and give a thumbs down#whenever we see each other we go 'ewww it smells like [other person] in here' or something similar and it's dumb but it's very funny#and we genuinely enjoy hanging out and we know that 'i hate you' is code for 'um actually we're friends' this is just how we communicate#but anyways yeah he's the prettiest boy and he's my worstie. (like a best friend. but a worst friend.) and we even have worstie friendship#bracelets. mine is a bracelet and his is an anklet and we wear them like. every day.#kazzy rambles in the tags#but anyways feel free to fandom tag.#(and in case it's confusing NO i do not have a crush on him.)
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thinking about pre-virus friendships..
dragging each other to parts&service after smacking around intruders a little too good
#my art#fnaf chica#fnaf moon#daycare attendant fnaf#fnaf glamrock chica#security breach fanart#security breach chica#do Not Come into my house and tell ME Moon wouldnt have been soft with the other animatronics too.#impish. silly. pulling pranks sure.#more than once hes probably asked Chica “bad pizza?” when her arms been ripped off and very clearly been in a fight.#she'd answer “no pinapple”. and slump directly on him.#chica has watched. all of her friends. including herself surcome to the virus.#none of them tell on each other. they sure AF gonna bury that shit down.#moon being the theater animatronic. actor by day. he loves his role. he loves loves preforming.#and one day#hes just straight up not anymore. and he *knows* they tried to delete his code. out of convenience.#chica being the first to coax him out of hiding when the guests are all long gone home. sitting with him in the dark with no words.#she'd watched at least two of her friends disappear. and she'd almost lost Moon too. what a helpless feeling.#neither of them carry each other to parts and service anymore.#srryyyy ignore any typos.#.. also shoving them both into the microwave to spin around together- adjkaka.#doombop!
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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Diew, y’all swapped colors and God pouted and you still sent him to sleep in his own bed!! Sir! And the colors are swapped again the next day. Oh they’re in love.
But you could let that overgrown puppy just sleep with you.
#the colors mean things#color coded boys in love#god in greys and greens and diew in blues#I love them very much#but they each still have one of their own colors in with these outfits#goddiew#diewgod#monster next door#monster next door the series
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Yeah so. I gave into the urges. I’ve never felt the need to write fanfic. Ever. But here I am I guess.
I wrote this at midnight soooo, who knows how this is. Just wanted to write John thoughts because he’s my guy—so have this short little piece that I hope other people can enjoy too :)
Fic under the cut: 1.8k words.
The memory of Arthur’s silence will remain more prettifying than his agony, but that doesn’t mean that his pain … his terror as the light and awareness left his eyes—their eyes—is what John was hoping to hear.
He doesn’t know what he was hoping for. Relief? A gasping thank you? Pride in saving him? Would it be foolish to wish that the talisman fixed everything? That he would just be okay? Perhaps it is. He thinks it is. He was never going to have that. It would be unreasonable to think he would get any of that, but any joy of him living, of John fixing this, was ripped away when Arthur opened his mouth. All John wanted was a sound. A single noise, a response, any response to prove the talisman worked. He got that. He should be happy that he got that.
But he isn’t.
And Arthur is silent again.
And the world is dark—but not as dark as it could be.
John does not know what to consider if Arthur didn’t end up in the dark world … when he died. That place was the last thing he wanted for Arthur, and yet, it was always treated as a last resort. Of a sort. Between them, spoken only aloud by Arthur, so long ago now. A place they would end up together in—if they failed. It was not a future he ever wanted, but it was a possibility, even if it was one he despised the thought of. But now he knows that if Arthur dies he does not follow, instead he is left here to deal with the repercussions. To play the marker for lifeless remains, having to have witnessed, and experienced death without a choice. What if there is no place meant for them? Past all of this. He can’t exactly bury Arthur himself, if it came to it, he wouldn’t let him stay dead after all. Graves are a place of permanency, one they do not deserve, because they can be forgotten. Especially here. But John would never forget. He would never abandon him like that.
He would find a way, like today. They are stuck in this together. They both have to make their own path through this, together.
Except his body is no longer a weighted grave for them both, a tomb he would never dare leave, it is breathing. Arthur is alive—and so they are both alive, whatever that may entail. He is tentatively okay. Arthur, is okay. As okay as he can be, as they both can be. What matters is that he is alive—what matters now is keeping him alive.
John has almost lost Arthur more than once, twice, more than three times, and he wasn’t always there to fix it but he has tried to be. He often was. Every moment where Arthur falls, where he becomes immobile and lost to John, he feels himself succumb to a fragility accustomed to human bodies. Accustom to loss and fear. It’s horribly quiet without him. Even so, he saves him, he saves them both—because Arthur trusts him, and he trusts Arthur. He loves Arthur, and he is going to tell him that. He has to tell him that. Even if they both know it, to an extent. This can’t happen again without John making sure he knows it.
But this is never going to happen again.
Because Arthur died this time, and he almost lost everything. John felt the cold stone visage that he left in his absence. There was nothing here without Arthur, more so than just the lack of connection to their body, but the emptiness was staggering. He was alone. Completely and wholly alone in a space meant for two.
He hadn't felt terror like that since Arthur slit his throat before the King—but this was worse. They’ve grown … so much—and John wasn’t there to see the aftermath of his actions back then. This, he was aware of, in every aching moment of uncertainty. This could have been prevented, couldn’t it? They didn't need to go after the talisman, but they did, and John didn’t see her—not until it was too late. It was his words that made her kill him—an appeal made to the wrong person. Arthur wouldn’t have died if made the right decisions. But he always seems to make the wrong ones, no matter how hard he tries, that he and Arthur have in common.
But Arthur is alive again, so why does it still feel like he is grieving?
Arthur wouldn’t have gotten hurt, wouldn’t have died, if John wasn’t here. But John wouldn’t be here, who he is now, without Arthur. Perhaps that would be more demoralizing if Arthur hasn’t so vehemently stated that he doesn’t want to be rid of John, that they are in this together, until they both get what they want … no matter what that may be. Perhaps that is just happiness, in the end, no matter what it looks like. From one harrowing experience to the next, until they may finally rest. Arthur wants him here, in spite of all the pain it causes, and will continue to cause. Because Arthur is his friend, and more than that, but he is his friend.
Arthur might even be … pleased with his actions. That he has found himself, both with him, and all that he has learned for himself. That he knows who he is, in truth, after everything.
Even if he knows who he is now, who he wants to be, who he will always be—he knows he will want Arthur there too. Arthur who has been there for all his mistakes, his achievements, their joy and sorrow. Arthur deserved to be here for this too, but he wasn’t, and maybe that was the push he needed. He used to defend so much of himself to Arthur, expectation after expectation, misstep after misstep. But Arthur also gave him hope, the sanctity of trust, showed him love and sacrifice, and remained alongside him even when that trust was broken. Even if some mistakes can’t be forgiven … They let them rest. Arthur lets it rest, so they can move on, so they can grow.
Is it so wrong to become … whole without him there to witness it? Or is that how it was always meant to be. To be entirely his own, must he first be alone?
He hopes not, it is a terribly bleak thought, besides it can’t be. Not in every single world, even if Kayne said he … doesn’t change much. There must be some place where there is more joy to be held in his ownership of self. A better circumstance that does not lace his pride in one of their darkest moments. In his choosing of hope. In his choosing of Arthur. One that doesn’t extend off of a devastating fear, off of death. He doesn’t know if he would wish to change this, he would have—if Arthur was truly gone—but he isn’t, so he will just have to see how this plays out.
He is going to share everything he said—everything he did, with Arthur. Because he deserves to be a part of it. Because they do this, all of this, together. Because he wouldn’t be here without him. Because together they are whole of two, just like he said, just like he will say.
It’s not as if he will ever fit into the messy expectations of what it means to be human, per say, but he doesn’t need to. All he needs is to perceive himself as what he wants to be—and Arthur’s perception helps to, even if he doesn’t always meet that. Humanity will be whatever he wants it to be. However he defines it to be. A neutral point, in it all. For he is not a piece to be slotted away, but a piece to be shelved along the masses, every individual part given a space of its own, and it is a space he deserves. A space he had long since earned.
A space they both deserve, to play their own key.
Because Arthur is alive—and so is he, in every sense of the word.
He’d panicked, when Arthur lost consciousness again, for a second he thought he had lost him once more. John had been so ready to reach for the talisman for a second time—for he wasn’t going to allow Arthur to leave, not yet, not ever. But he was breathing, albeit raggedly, but he was. John was going to keep his promises, he had to. He was going to take care of this, of him, and they were both going to be okay. Just like the times before this, and everytime that may come after, because Arthur isn’t going to die.
They’re going to get their happy ending, despite what she said, one where Arthur does not end up as a corpse.
An ending where they both know want they want, what they deserve, who they are.
Moving Arthur to the witch’s bed was difficult, to say the least, without exasperating the wound and the subpar stitching ... even if it has improved. John won’t allow it to get any worse—and Yorrick keeps telling him it’s survivable, or that he is more likely to survive anyway. Even so, John periodically checks to make sure Arthur is still breathing, that his heart is still beating.
Arthur is alive. He will stay alive.
He should stop worrying, Yorrick keeps spouting that he is arguably fine. He should stop.
But the reality is that he can’t, and he doubts will for a long while to come.
He is intimately aware of every minuscule movement Arthur makes, of every second of awareness he gains, and he coaxes him back to the present through all of it. A melody of promises, of reaffirming how he feels, telling Arthur everything over and over and over. It doesn’t matter if he is aware of what he says, if he hears him at all, John will repeat his words for as long as they are needed.
John never lets him arrive to the dread of waking up alone, speaking as soon as he stirs and recognition strike, each and every time. They are never going to be alone again, severed or separated, and John tells him that. Because they are whole together.
And eventually, when Arthur finds his speech, a gentle—hoarse voice long since worn by constant yelling born from the suffering of the waking. He repeats back everything John has been telling him through the suffering of uncertainty, of recovery and knowing and fear.
Arthur moves, ever so slightly, before John can protest—and he brushes his hand, John’s hand. It is a little thing, but it is such a stark constant to the stillness he had before. After the pain of it all, this is a relief, a reprieve. Arthur is alive and John can tell he’s weakly smiling, even if that is not something he can see, when he speaks up for the first time in hours.
John isn’t surprised by what he hears, he already knew, after all. They’ve both said it before. But John it is nice to hear regardless, because together, they are whole. A comfort to both him and Arthur both. He does not want to live, to experience life as it was shown to him, without him. He wouldn’t have gotten here without him. Together they are whole. Both their own wills, colliding, and depending on each other. Made by each other.
Arthur is alive.
Arthur is alive and he breaks the one sided silence by saying, “I love you too.”
Perhaps that, for now, is enough.
#malevolent#malevolent fic#they’re very qpr coded for me#though I know that is a very common consensus I guess#i just want them to be happy eventually no matter how long it takes#they deserve it I think#I love any interpretation of them I just think they should have some happiness#just a little#even if it’s complicated#they can’t be defined to me—not really#but they love each other#and that’s enough#a lot of his identity is attached to Arthur#and a life with Arthur is a happier one#it’s complicated#maybe I’ll make a meta post about it#about the whole…. being whole together#but I don’t think I need to#just wondering if my interpretation of that is different?#who knows—I sure don’t.#lowkey this is a John character analysis tbf#I adore him#malevolent podcast#john doe malevolent#I have a lot of thoughts about them and I tried to put that into this#but there is a lot I don’t know how to put into words#rotating him in my mind#my posts of madness#masked
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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