#very big on characters having complicated relationships with their reflections

[ethan-elliott]

thinking once again about Edwin in Hell the second time, and about how this is (presumably, based on his reaction) the first time he’s seen his reflection since he was killed. and he hasn’t aged, of course, but it’s hard to reconcile the bloodied, battered face that stares back at him with the boy he used to be. it’s just another thing Hell took from him, he supposes. he doesn’t look a day older but there’s a heaviness to his gaze, the depths of everything he keeps hidden away so much deeper. because so little has truly been reconciled, and so much more torment has been added. and yet, he’s still in there. underneath the blood (physical and metaphorical), like the ship of Theseus he is remade entirely and yet, perhaps, it is still him. at least, he can only assume. he does not remember much of before Hell, only the during and the after, in stark, brilliant detail. his life as an actual, living human being is somewhat of a blur. he hopes they remade him exactly as he was before. that he is still in the same image that God, if He exists, made him, and not Hell’s mockery.

and part of him is horrified. because he is old far beyond his years and yet his face remains the same. he feels he should have been changed irreparably. that his appearance should match the ugly, twisted thing that sits deep inside him like poison

(he knows that, as a ghost, he could control such things, and appear as the hell-ravaged soul that he is. but that wouldn’t be good for the business. besides, sometimes he thinks certain clients can tell. not enough to name their unease but an overwhelming sense of wrongness his very being exudes. that this is what could happen to them, should they end up the wrong path)

and then he enters Despair’s realm, and it is full of mirrors

[hellotailor]

armand’s costumes are such an interesting data point re: his nebulous sense of identity.

when analyzing any costume, there are always many factors to consider: the setting, the character’s personal taste and economic constraints, storytelling concerns like tone and genre, etc. with armand, we also need to remember that he’s 500 years old and violently disconnected from his human origins. everything he wears has an element of disguise, selected to blend into a new environment.

armand was enslaved as a child in 16th century delhi, and barely remembers his mortal life. unlike louis - who can return to new orleans after 80 years and reconnect with his past - armand has no home to return to. his whole backstory, even his name, is rife with traumatic subtext, leaving him with an obsessive need for structure and control. this adds an extra layer of meaning to costuming choices that initially seem like straightforward menswear. 

armand’s 1940s wardrobe is very put-together - primarily three-piece suits and coats that make him look wealthier and more formal than louis, who is purposefully dressing down. most of these outfits are tailored to bulk up armand's frame, leaning into the "maitre" persona. and like his business-casual dubai wardrobe, he always leaves his collar open. when i interviewed costume designer carol cutshall, she described this as a symbolic power move, signalling that he's an apex predator who doesn't need to protect his throat.

my personal interpretation is that while armand clearly likes to look good, he has a complicated relationship with attractiveness. he doesn't always want to draw attention. his color palette is shadowy (black, grey, brown, olive green), and he’s much less flashy than the other Théâtre vamps. however when he’s feeling confident and flirty, he becomes more of a power-dresser - for instance his hunting outfit with the big coat and sunglasses, or his habit of wearing kohl.

interestingly, most of armand's 1940s costumes set him apart from the coven. the Théâtre vampires dress like cabaret performers, embracing a lot of period-specific styles. by contrast armand is more timeless and neutral. in fact, due to the relatively minor changes in men's suits over the past 100 years, there's a lot of overlap between his wardrobe in the 1940s, '70s and 2020s:

the rest of the Théâtre squad share an unofficial uniform of boldly clashing monochrome patterns with pops of bright color. meanwhile armand has a very plain wardrobe, emphasizing the image of him as a businesslike authority figure surrounded by zany artistes. he only wears subtle stripes on a few occasions in the '40s, reflecting the recurring prison motif we see in lestat's trial suit and (most famously) the dubai penthouse bedroom:

if we ask the question, "what does this person like to wear?" there are easy answers for lestat, louis and claudia. we understand their tastes, and the motives behind them. but armand is more enigmatic. we can recognize through-lines in his wardrobe, but his "taste" is dominated by whatever role he's currently decided to embody, whether that's a parisian theater director or a real estate mogul in dubai.

the times when he appears to have the most fun with clothing are when he steals a pair of sunglasses from his human dinner (!) and when he's pretending to be rashid. in other words, when he's explicitly performing for an audience. "real armand" is still a mystery.

(i may write more about armand's dubai wardrobe later, but for now, you can find all of my iwtv costumes posts on this tag!)

[monabee-draws]

As someone who is acepec, the whole demi Lucanis debacle just doesn't sit right with me. He has so many dialogues that just cut off suddenly, scenes that feel like they're missing (that missive in Act 2 where he talks about dealing with Spite once and for all that just became a completely different scene with Zara??) All the concept art for the romance that was never explored. The massive difference in relationship progression between Rookanis and Nevecanis in terms of both emotional and physical intimacy.

Lucanis' romance is so clearly incomplete even in a game where the romance arcs are sparse on the whole. His character without the romance feels incomplete as well - we get two or so big moments of characterisation and everything else is just the same scene about coffee repeated as infinitum.

I have no issue with a character being awkward and inexperienced, wanting to take things slow, not recognising flirtation or romantic cues, wanting to figure out their complicated situation before jumping into something. I am that person! It took 6 months after my partner and I acknowledged we had feelings for each other for us to start dating because I was not in the right place mentally to do so. Both of us are demi. Both of us have had very few previous experiences with romantic relationships. But that doesn't preclude a person from understanding or wanting emotional intimacy.

The Lucanis situation does not come across as 'he just doesn't have sexual attraction to Rook yet', it's just complete shutdown of conversation on all fronts (something he does not do with Neve, btw.) I too find flirting scary from people I don't know and agonised over it before my partner and I were together. This is not how he's written. His expressions do not reflect shock or awkwardness when Rook flirts, nor does his tone when he responds. Do you know when he does do this? With Neve right at the start of their banter. And he overcomes that shyness quickly. He just does not acknowledge Rook speaking at all the same way any video game character does when their conversation tree is bugged, the game decided to cut some response dialogue and just transitioned directly into the neutral follow-up line. He isn't rejecting emotional intimacy because of Spite and the Ossuary prison because during the ambient dialogue it's clear he's sharing that emotional intimacy with Neve waaaaay before Rook helps him.

I just want more of his writing. Where is he and his character in this story? He's so incredibly inaccessible to us. And I know people will say that characters do not have to be emotionally available to the player (which is true! A great example of this working well is Vivienne, who is warm but not directly open if befriended.) But that should then be a consistent character trait, and it's clearly not. In fact, Lucanis is incredibly declarative about his feelings for Rook romanced or not once you hit Act 3, he's just completely missing in Act 2. Which to me is a flaw in the game's structure. And that 'missing-ness' is being read as demisexuality instead of 'hey this character's writing is actually incomplete and needs restructuring and additional scenes.' Those additional scenes could very much be as awkward and non-romantic in tone as you please, but we needed more of them. Have Lucanis visit Treviso more often to do things other than drink coffee. Have him visit other locations as well! Teach Rook how to cook a local dish, the gondola fight we saw in the concept art. Deciding after the game's poor reception that a character who is clearly only 3/4s of a character, who is lacking in so much characterisation, is the demi character? That feels bad man. Demi characters should be written with just as much care and attention, should get to express themselves in as wide a variety of circumstances, show us more of themselves and how they interact with the world. The reality is that Lucanis has the weakest romance arc in the game, and posthumously attributing that to demisexuality feels like an indictment of acespec people's ability to read the room and express emotional intimacy rather than a true attempt at representing us.

Just as Cullen's heterosexuality and preference for elves and humans is in fact a game development constraint rather than a character writing decision, and Solas' heterosexuality was a result of running out of dev time to record voice lines and re-rig cutscenes, I think we should be able to acknowledge that this version of Lucanis is not a good representation of his character in multiple ways. And that is due primarily to the development cycle rather than writerly intention.

We've had beautiful slowburn romances that were also deeply affected by character trauma throughout the Bioware series. Lucanis' is (in its present state) not one of them. Leliana, Cullen, even Alistair. I think using demisexuality or even slowburn as an 'excuse' for Lucanis' incomplete character isn't a useful way to think about his writing.

Note: This post is purely about quality of writing wrt emotional intimacy. I have zero issue with virgin Lucanis and think that fits his wider writing. I also don't wish Lucanis to be someone he's not - Zevran or Davrin or some other flirty/dommy archetype. I just don't like the casual conflation of awkwardness and inexperience with asexuality. These things do go together but also I don't think we should use demisexuality as a bandaid for poor writing because it reflects poorly on our understanding of ourselves and the community.

[isabelawritesthings]

My headcanons for EVERY (I think) Mortal Kombat 1 character

— Liu Kang is a big fan of Chinese food, because well, in the previous timelines he was Chinese, so he constantly goes to Madam Bo's restaurant to eat.

— Johnny Cage is a great dramatic actor, but unfortunately, Hollywood studios always cast him as comedic characters or male characters who are himbos, wasting his potential as a dramatic actor.

— Kenshi met Suchin after saving her from being attacked by thugs in Tokyo, and the two's connection was almost instantaneous, with Suchin agreeing to run away with him after Kenshi left the Yakuza.

— Raiden has a huge crush on Kitana, and constantly draws pictures of the two of them kissing (he's a cartoonist btw)

— Kung Lao loves Chinese and South Korean comedy dramas, his favorite South Korean comedy drama is "True Beauty".

— Kuai Liang is extremely protective of Harumi, like, if Harumi gets a scar, he won't rest until the person who did it pays dearly. When he was dating Cyrax, he was also quite protective of her as well (He's not a sexist who thinks women are too defenseless to protect themselves, he just wants to keep Harumi safe because he loves her so much).

— Bi-Han trusts women more than men, thanks to the complicated relationship he had with his father and the loving relationship he had with his mother (thanks to his daddy issues, he doesn't trust masculine nature very much, even though he is also a man).

— Shang Tsung is not a "victim of Liu Kang's intrigues", this guy is a sociopath to the core!

— Tanya is not Mileena's first lover, she had a girlfriend as a teenager, the daughter of an archduke, but was forced to end the relationship because the archduke's daughter had to marry a man, breaking Mileena's heart.

— Kitana is a voracious reader, she loves books, especially about the history of the Earthrealm and Seido, her favorite historical figure of Earthrealm is Queen Mary Stuart, a queen of Scotland, reflecting the thinking of some outworlders who think that she should be empress in place of Mileena, just as some 16th-century English Catholics wanted Mary to be Queen of England in place of her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I.

— I don't usually do SMUT headcanons, but I like to think that Sindel and Jerrod had an active sex life, and she never married any man after Jerrod because she only liked to have sex with him, she herself was impressed that she only had the twins and not like, three more children!

— The souls within Ermac have been in the living forest for so long that over time they have become one big family.

— Quan Chi was a thief when he was young and was sentenced to work in the gold mines as a way of paying for his crimes, which is why he hates Sindel so much.

— Tanya was not given to the Umgadi when she was a child, she was actually stolen from her mother's arms like several other Umgadi (a bit cruel, but I wanted to make it similar to Marvel's black widows).

— Li Mei has always been in love with Sindel, but she never had the courage to express her feelings.

— Takeda is destined to meet and fall in love with Jacqui, even though in this timeline she is not Jax's daughter.

— Sektor is a lesbian and has a fraternal relationship with Bi-Han.

— Cyrax can speak several African languages, including Zulu and Arabic.

— I'm going to join @rasta-bot AU that Nitara is also a lesbian, there's a 19th century irish lesbian book called "Carmilla" that I really like, it's about a sapphic vampire, just like Nitara.

— Reiko was a mommy's boy, just like Bi-Han.

— Shao suffers from narcissistic personality disorder.

— Syzoth and Ashrah's love language is physical caresses, such as kisses on the forehead and cheek.

— Ashrah is pansexual (yes, another wlw woman, it's "Mortal sapphic Kombat" for me) she has always felt lonely, so she would like any romantic companionship, no matter the gender.

— Baraka prays to Delia every day that a cure for Tarkat will be discovered (this is actually canon btw).

— Slavery is (unfortunately) legal in Seido, and Havik was enslaved (also canon), so he is an anarchist.

— Tomas is a polyglot, he can speak Czech, Chinese, English and Japanese.

[narcjsistx]

"𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀, 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓... 𝐀 𝐎𝐒!" | bllk os event ⛄

christmas is near, and why not spend the week before the big day reading oneshots about the characters from the blue lock animanga?

EVENT FROM 18 TO 25 DECEMBER!! every day, a new os with a different romantic trope

I asked chatgpt this question for all the characters in the list: if you think of the character (name), what song comes to mind? with what trope?

I chose the characters I write about the most, plus some I've never written anything about, but who interest me. I hope to satisfy you!

— 18/12: rin itoshi

— 19/12: sae itoshi

— 20/12: isagi yoichi

— 21/12: shidou ryusei

— 22/12: karasu tabito

— 23/12: nagi seishiro

— 24/12: bachira meguru

— 25/12: kaiser micheal

— rin itoshi 18/12 — RIGHT CHOICHE

song: "Homewrecker" by Marina

trope: Forbidden Love. the song explores themes of attraction that may be complicated, reflecting the idea of falling for someone who is already involved with someone else

plot: falling in love with Rin Itoshi, the captain of the national team, was not in your plans, it never had been. you hadn't done it, or at least you had hidden it well, when you were a child, but doing it now that he was about to get married? damn

——— 🎄

— sae itoshi 19/12 — ANNIVERSARY GIFT

song: "Numb" by Linkin Park

trope: The Weight of Expectations. the pressure to meet societal or familial expectations can create tension in a romantic relationship, leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance

plot: that your boyfriend was sometimes distant was not a new thing. he often needed his space, both physical and mental, and you accepted this. but you did not expect him to put a match in the first place of the list on the day of your wedding anniversary

——— 🎄

— isagi yoichi 20/12 — OCCUPY EVERYTHING

song: "Hall of Fame" by The Script featuring will.i.am

trope: Supportive Partner. the idea of having a partner who encourages and believes in you can be a central theme. this trope highlights how love can motivate individuals to pursue their dreams and overcome obstacles

plot: today is an important day, very important, maybe the most important of your boyfriend's life, the dream of a lifetime finally realized: the soccer world cup. last minutes, the ball ends up in the net thanks to him. the crowd tries to win the heart of the japanese boy, but he already has your heart that has always supported him

——— 🎄

— shidou ryusei 21/12 — BEAST AND ANGEL

song: "Bad Guy" by Billie Eilish

trope: Opposites Attract. the song's edgy vibe can represent a relationship where two very different personalities are drawn to each other. one partner may be more wild and carefree, while the other is more grounded, creating a dynamic tension that can lead to romance

plot: during the christmas period it was normal for the association to invite the players, and their girlfriends, to organized dinners. shidou loves to show up at these dinners with you, where everyone asks you how you can be together even though you are so different

——— 🎄

— karasu tabito 22/12 — THE FEAR OF BEING

song: "Crawling" by Linkin Park

trope: Rescue Romance. in this trope, one character is drawn to another who is struggling with their inner demons. the relationship becomes a journey of support and healing, where one partner helps the other confront their issues, leading to a deep emotional bond

plot: the pact had been clear from the beginning: only needy kisses when the situation called for it, but no relationships. everything had been going smoothly up until that point, but the main problem was that now you were falling for your enemy's best friend. does tabito not want relationships because he doesn't want to set up seriously or just because he's afraid of ruining everything by being mediocre?

——— 🎄

— nagi seishiro 23/12 — GET USED TO

song: "Young and Beatiful" by Lana del Rey

trope: The Fear of Losing Love. this trope revolves around the anxiety of whether love will endure as time passes. the song's lyrics express a longing for reassurance that love will remain, even as youth and beauty fade

plot: nagi thinks everything is a hassle, but you're the last thing he thinks is. the only drag here is how he's starting to think the chemistry between you is running out

——— 🎄

— bachira meguru 24/12 — RUN AWAY

song: "Feel Good Inc" by Gorillaz

trope: The Escape from Reality. the song's themes of breaking free and seeking happiness can align with a romance where the couple finds solace in each other, escaping the pressures of the outside world. this trope emphasizes the idea of love as a refuge

plot: running away from the cameras was the favorite thing you and meguru did every chance you got. your love was yours alone, why give the world just a small slice of everything you felt for each other? it would be a waste

——— 🎄

— micheal kaiser 25/12 — LAST CHANCE

song: "Stronger" by Kanye West

trope: The Second Chance Romance. the idea of coming back stronger after a setback can represent a relationship that has faced challenges but is given a second chance. this trope explores themes of forgiveness, growth, and the rekindling of love

plot: why kaiser was at your door the night between christmas eve and christmas day? why did he have a red package, even though you had broken up last month?

——— 🎄

if you want to be tagged say it! I will add you to the list without problems 💗

[littlemoondarlingarts]

Did an artstyle study of the gorgeous art of @iliothermia and I genuinely learned alot so I'm very thankful that he gave me permission to do this 🙏🏻🙏🏻

As usual, rambles and process pics under the cut, be warned that I talk alot because this drawing was a true labor of love both for his art and Rouge

I wanted to use elements from his art but at the same time i know how deeply personal his art is to his own life and struggles and culture so i tried to be as respectful as possible (and if I failed at that please tell me I have no problem in deleting this) and tried to minimize my use of direct elements from his art to keep it to the skull which was heavily inspired by a drawing he has done, the waves which are such a beautiful staple of his art that I just couldn't not put it and the use of candles and small floral patterns and the style of the mold, but I tried to keep the rest to things that are symbolic to the character.

While he may have restraint to not explain everything, I'm not famous for that lol, so I will be explaining the symbolism behind my choices.

Part 1: the symbolism:

The red rose is Rouge's flower and it is heavily associated with him. The meaning of it being romantic desire and passion mixed with the thorns of it perfectly sum up his position as a beautiful black widow.

Voyeurism is a big part of this drawing and it is first noticed with the eyes motif on the roses' leaves, this symbolises his response to his trauma which left him feeling like an unwanted pervert on his own self. I can talk about this aspect of his story for hours but I'll spare you lol.

The X-ray cutouts are his complicated relationship with his own body and death, it is a thing that is constantly on his mind as he suffers from suicidal thoughts but at the same time he is always running away from it in fear, but he knows that eventually, he will have to stop running.

The candles melting represent him being only wanted when he is useful, when he is giving parts of himself up for others to use and abuse, when he is lighting their lives by slowly draining his own.

The piano is one of the rare things that bring him happiness and peace, but he needs to be heavily dissociated to be able to enjoy it which is represented by the hands being disconnected from the rest of the drawing and just floating in their own reality.

The snake represents two things, one is him being venomous to those around him, the mistakes he's made, the promises he's broken, the pain he's caused etc. But it also represents those who slowly wrap themselves around him in a warm embrace, presenting themselves as a saviour in his most dire times only to end up being the ones who will hurt him the most.

The book is about his obsession with keeping track of everything and of studying people, accidentally turning himself into an unwanted voyeur on their lives to the point where he has written the life stories of many people who would never want to be remembered through his eyes in his little books.

The butterflies are him, both in the way they are seen as "the good insects" and the beautiful delicate ones despite the fact that they eat flesh sometimes, it is also related to the way his simple presence for a few minutes in someone's life can create a whirlwind of change that will leave it unrecognizable, or he can simply be another body in their bed.

The hair turning into waves is meant to reflect the way he is always drowning in his own thoughts, a hand crafted constant state of misery.

The beta fish are some of the most beautiful and colourful fish out there, yet they are seen as cheap and easy first pets, leading to them being neglected and given environments that are too small and crammed, making their beautifully slow death the only thing they can offer to their owner. I don't think I need to explain more..

The skull is probably someone he's loved, or someone he's killed, or both.

The heart is his, it is rotten and covered in mold, any love he offers is tainted by his inability to heal and it is spreading to infect every aspect of his life.

Part 2: the inspirations:

The roses are a homage to the way Rachamim always places flowers in his art, either in the background or as a focal point of the illustration, most of the flowers he uses are cultural in nature, so I opted to not reuse any of them and changed it to a flower related to my oc.

Eyes are a repeated theme in his art, whether it be angel eyes, the evil eye or anything else, and as you can tell both of these are cultural and religious and while the evil eye exists in my culture, it does not in my oc's so I didn't use it. Instead I opted to pay homage to one of his beautiful merman drawings in which he used the plants to make an eye-like shape that stares at the viewer.

I thought I was being real smart in turning the hair into waves but yesterday I saw an illustration where he did the same so rip to me thinking i was being original lol.

The snake and butterflies are my way of replicating his use of animals while trying to not directly copy any animals that have a connection to himself or his culture/religion.

The beta fish is just to reference the ever present fishies in his art. I know he uses them because they represent friendship for him and they are the only animals safe from the evil eye (thanks for the fun fact) so I uh... I don't really know if this was disrespectful or not to be honest but I tried to use a different type of fish, idk this might still be slightly problematic and again I'm always ready to delete this if it makes anyone uncomfortable.

The waves are a direct copy of how he draws the gorgeous waves in his art, another case of something I fear may be crossing the line because the waves are drawn in the style of cultural jewelry 😭

The tiny flowers are an obvious reference to his own tiny flowers that decorate his art and characters.

The skull with the candles is heavily inspired by a specific drawing of his.

The cutouts are my way of paying my respects to my absolute favourite piece of art he's done without directly copying its concept because as far as I can tell, it is a very personal and emotional piece.

The mold style is a reference to his mold man (I forgot his name I'm sorry).

And the candles are another repeated motif in his art as well as the pillars and the pant style.

And ouf I sure do talk alot don't I? I just really love the amount of things I was able to cram into this piece and I haven't even mentioned everything😭😭 I will NOT be doing this again because I'm simply not as patient as he is and as proud as I am of the result, this was torture. I hope I didn't disrespect him, his art or his culture and I genuinely tried my best to be as respectful as possible but I might have some blind spots due to our experiences being so vastly different so again, please don't hesitate to inform me if you want this deleted!

[softspot4monarchs]

i only watched like 2 episodes of the gilmore girls in high school… what the deal with rory why people hate rory..

okayyyyy so it's complicated. the very generalized answer is her character basically starts out as this perfect wonderful schoolgirl who has big dreams of going to harvard and then becoming an international correspondent and she's really dedicated to this dream and then her senior year she gets into both harvard and yale and chooses yale and that's a whole thing but it makes her grandparents very happy. and then at yale she puts herself under a lot of pressure and college is going kind of bad for her and then she meets this guy logan who sucks and his dad is this insane newspaper magnate and rory does an internship for him where he basically tells her that she isn't cut out for journalism (because he also sucks) and then she flips out and steals a yacht and drops out of school for a while but then she comes back after some self-reflection and at the very end of the series logan (her long-term boyfriend) proposes and she rejects him and it ends like very up in the air about what her future holds (but she's going on the obama campaign trail). a lot of people hate her because they thought that she changed over the course of the series in ways that make her a bad character and also they use her as a scapegoat for all of the shitty writing choices made because it was the 2000s (like shaming other female characters). it is important to note that all of the characters do these things because it is a broader part of the 2000s cw show shitty writing choices but yeah people hate her.

gilmore girls is a show about a mother (lorelai) who grew up in high society and failed at it because she was a teen mom and the ways in which her daughter rejoins that world and serves as the do-over in the eyes of lorelai's parents and i think that all of the character and relationship commentary becomes a lot more interesting and nuanced when you look at the show through that lense. rory has a TON of pressure put on her to be perfect by others (including her mom) and the seasons where she is in college demonstrate the consequences of that pressure including how she subsequently breaks down. generally, the later seasons have a very humanizing effect on rory's character, but a lot of fans who lack critical thinking or analysis skills take her character arc at face value, as in "she was perfect and now she's bad". aka why the majority of rory haters are of the tiktok gilmore girls fandom. no media analysis...

also i'm going to now phone a friend and ask my beloved mutual @stellaluna33 to weigh in because she's a fellow rory gilmore defender and can probably explain some of the nuances of why people hate rory better than i can.

[psychhound]

i ran a combat this weekend that went really well and one of my npcs got beat to shit but also got to revivify a pc and it was just really chewy and cinematic and not that she isnt always on my mind but shes been on my mind a lot more this week BUT

ive been reflecting a lot on her year in the game so far, and the reasons i made her gender conforming but visibly trans when i introduced her, versus how thats evolved with her relationships to the pcs and other npcs now

and i dont know. it makes me really emotional. i think theres no right way to do trans representation but there are certainly some wrong ways. i think making her the first binary trans woman introduced and also pretty clockable would rub a lot of people the wrong way. shes tall, shes buff, she has a deeper voice, she doesnt cover her adams apple. and as a trans man who passes pretty damn easily it means so much to me that she Doesnt and shes so like ... adored? and cherished?

she was introduced as a roadblock for the party and got adopted very quickly, soon becoming a staple of the game. my players are obsessed with her and adore her and talk about her all the time. anytime she does anything theyre like okay but shes our babygirl and we love her forever and also can we marry her. shes an autistic trans lesbian wolfgirl, and her being trans is a lore point because shes the angel of the female wolf god. shes dopey, shes awkward, shes a little stupid, shes very caring, she makes the puppy eyes emoji face just at all times

and shes not visibly gay but is visibly trans. shes not punk. she doesnt have a shaved head or tattoos. overall shes pretty cottagecore and has middle school girl handwriting. she really loves baking and sewing is her most "fun" hobby. shes very gender conforming and also its pretty easy to tell shes trans and everyone just. loves her? two pcs are very parental towards her, we're leaning towards a romance with another pc. despite being a big strong knight, when shes scared, she gets comforted and consoled. she got hurt during the fight and cried about it and got hugged

i dont know. this is a very long rambly post but. living in a very conservative bible belt state, i feel a lot of acceptance as a man and i feel its very very conditional on the average person not knowing im trans. my friends are great and my cohort is largely great and my professors have been supportive. dating has been,, mixed. but then i do wonder how review bombed i would get if my students knew. i wonder how much of how well people treat me is dependent on me appearing to be something im not

and florence cant hide that shes trans!! and people love her!! they think shes wonderful and loveable and hot and adoptable and also complicated when conflict happens. theres no reveal theres no coming out its just like. yep heres florence shes trans shes dorky and sweet and cute. because of the magic of this world, some people may have Questions of how she transitioned, but its not like ... her identity ever gets questioned. you know? its not hidden and also not a problem. its just florence. and shes been such a good character for me to play because of that

okay post over go support your local trans doggirl

[aurieeeeeenyx]

anyways i just wanted to talk about baku's outfits in whc2

because his introduction portrays him as this loud, brash, shonen-esque character and pairs that vibe with a faceful of red: red shirt, red vest, red hair:

which he then follows up with at school! he's outgoing and his eye-catching color palette of choice reflects that

and after that, he continues wearing red; almost every outfit he dons must have something red in it

so when baku goes to find na baekjin in episode 4, it's kind of a big deal when the red shirt he always wears under his uniform is gone.

and of course, that brings us to union era baku's outfit: all black hoodie, shirt, pants, everything. by this point in the show we've really started to see baku's darker side (pun unintended) and how he acts when he's serious, instead of his usual silly goofy self that we've seen when he's with his friends and the eunjang kids.

it's not that he never wore an outfit without red before, but this is the longest period of time we've seen him go without it, and tbh, i love that the show pays attention to details like this.

i didn't finish the webtoon (webtoon lovers don't come for me i'll probably end up binging it in the next few days) so i don't know if this happens in the webtoon too, but i'm such a big fan of how his clothes reflect his mental state. union era baku is quiet. he doesn't emote much anymore. he's muted, almost a shadow of the larger-than-life character we met before. his darkness is violence, and guess what? back in episode 3 when juntae is explaining how baku fought the union guys to protect the eunjang kids, we see him wearing the very same shirt:

yeah. i just think that's interesting.

anyways, that makes it all the more gratifying to see him incorporate red into his outfits again after leaving the union

even though his outfit still features a lot of black, we're starting to see him return to the way he was, all because of...love. he loves the eunjang kids, he loves his dad (as complicated as that relationship is), and above all, he loves his friends. his friends were what he joined the union for, and his friends were what he abandoned the union for. his friends pulled him out of the darkness and into the light again.

red is the color of love, of blood, of fire. red is baku's color, and i'm so happy he brought it back.

[colduncrustable]

the martin antis working so hard to make waves is so funny. like, you are very much allowed to like/dislike any character you please! but making it your whole personality or acting like you’re cooler for it is a little bit silly. you are not morally or intellectually superior for hating on a fiction character.

not to mention all of the characters in tma are very nuanced and complicated, just like real people (!), and erasing all of that to serve a certain narrative is a complete disservice to the entire body of work. jon and martin’s relationship was never meant to be easy, they first and foremost worked closely together as boss/employee, and in a workplace that was actively putting them in dangerous and horrible situations. the whole point is that they’re both super fucked up but they have each other anyway. they both have flaws, they both have gone through a great deal both with and without each other, but they found love anyway. the idea that the dynamic change in s5 is due to martin just being this villain is so wild? like he’s not a doormat anymore but he also loves jon so fiercely and stands by him over and over again?

jon hated him, jon ignored him, was verbally horrible to him again and again, literally sent him on a dangerous investigation and said if anyone had to die might as well be him, jon accused him of murder, screamed at him, jon was on the run, jon died. martin was his number one defender through everything, even when honestly? he didn’t do a lot to prove he deserved it. but martin was strong in his loyalty and did his best to be a supporter anyway. he picked up extra work, he thought of him kindly when no one else did, he mourned him, and he put himself directly in the line of fire for jon. for everyone, yes, but especially for jon, he says that. because after everything, protecting jon is still his number one priority.

it’s so important to his character that he isn’t s1 martin anymore—that he learns to be a real person who has thoughts and feelings and a backbone. jon wanted that, and does it not say something that they don’t work out until martin learns to have a little bite? there’s a difference between being a real complicated traumatized human person, and just straight up being evil, or an asshole. jon had to learn how to be a lot of softer things but martin had to learn how to square his shoulders and stick out his chin. they had different arcs, and that doesn’t make either of them inherently evil or bad. it makes them real and not perfect and very multilayered, yeah.

martin didn’t handle every choice or action perfectly, he made a lot of mistakes, and he never claims to be the best person ever. but jon also fucked up, a lot. it isn’t a competition or a comparison, that’s really not how that works. but they work because of their flaws. that’s a big part of them fitting together. martin represented the humanity they were saving, with all his good and bad. jon was well beyond that, and while that doesn’t inherently compromise his character, it does mean he’s viewed in a much different light.

(meaning i think jon’s sins are seen very very different to martin’s.) (to be clear i think both deserve to be looked at critically, but hating either of them devoutly seems sort of silly.)

i’m not sure how you can listen to tma and all the ways it dissects and reflects on humanity and turn around and run blogs or make posts in the fandom about how you hate one of the main characters for being all of that.

jon never would’ve made it through without martin, even if martin wasn’t the key to everything, he was the reason to push through and not give up. martin is why jon didn’t go full monster mode, why he held onto who he was and his humanity, even with the whole ‘kill bill’ thing. martin gave him a reason to keep going, to try, to care so deeply. obviously there were other factors but jon says it himself, martin you are my reason.

if you can’t handle the fact that martin isn’t a grade a soft boy by the end of the show that’s a lot more about you than it is about him. he grew and maybe not always for the better but he could be a real person for jon instead of some kind of mirror or blank slate to be reflected on. i genuinely don’t understand how he can be misunderstood so deeply.

they’re both fucked up ! and if they are alive Somewhere Else you bet your ass they’re having long talks and going to therapy and fighting and making up and pacing the floors and figuring it all out together. it isn’t clean or easy or necessarily enjoyable all the time, but humanity isn’t either, love isn’t either. they went through unimaginable trauma, and expecting either of them to be holding it together any better than they already are is wild. context, it’s important. but let’s not turn multi-dimensional characters into flat one word answers.

it’s very human to like and dislike, love and hate based off of bias and experiences and perspective. but also opinion does not make fact. everything is relative, everything is subjective, everything everything everything. it’s an open discussion yada yada idk i’m just screaming into the wall about all the nonsense.

and beyond all of that, discourse is so useless. criticism and constructive conversations are really really important but discourse is pointless! oh you ship these people? well that inherently threatens my ship! oh you like this character that i hate? well that makes me feel invalid for hating them. like what you like, hate what you hate, have your feelings. but if you post shit on the internet you will get people who disagree, sorry, that’s how it is. partaking in little arguments over who is right or wrong when it doesn’t actually have to do with anything harmful or unhealthy makes no sense though. posting on the internet about all the hate you have in your heart when the world is already so full of it doesn’t actually do anything but add more bad to an already very large pile of bad.

things can be discussions not arguments sometimes, i promise. it’s not always tooth and nail, and let’s not forget, most of it is over things that never need to be fought over.

[licncourt]

Thoughts on Jacob Anderson saying show Louis "hates human beings"? Obviously show Louis isn't the same as book Louis but would you agree Louis hates humanity? If this ask is too risky feel free to ignore I understand but I'd really appreciate your take bc I don't think being the most vampire out of all the characters points to hating humanity in a larger sense (this is not meant to imply Jacob Anderson is wrong in any sense so show fans calm down I only want to to discuss Louis as a character don't come for licncourt!!)

I really think the answer is different for both of them! Their social status as humans is basically opposite in a huge way and that's probably what most informs how someone feels about their fellow humans. They're both wealthy, but being white and owning an inherited plantation in the 1790s is a very different experience from being black in the deep South in the 1920s and clawing your way as far up the ladder as they'll let you get. Those two people experience humanity in wildly different ways. Book Louis asks to be turned to escape from himself. Show Louis asks to be turned to escape from the world. I would say their primary hatreds reflect that.

Book Louis definitely doesn't hate humans, but he also doesn't have a reason to. His big problems while alive (his sexual orientation and maybe also mental illness/addiction) were between him and God, humanity/respectable society is just a point of envy and fascination in life and in death. In spite of his sexuality, Louis is at the top of the pecking order as a human and we see him yearning for humanity and what his life could have been like if he was "good". The humans around him are romanticized and aspirational from his perspective. Sometimes he lashes out towards humans from a place of self-hatred, but that hatred is always really directed inward.

In comparison, I would completely understand if show Louis did hate human beings. Human society, dominated by white society, caused so much suffering for him, and then becoming a vampire intensifies everything that's already in someone. It wouldn't take much of that to twist the bitterness and hurt into blanket hatred for a society that rejected him so deeply as a black gay man. We see a lot of more externalized aggression from Louis in the show, and that makes sense in a world that's actively antagonizing him. Book Louis has the same anger, but there's no outside target for it aside from collateral damage from his periodic blow ups.

Both versions of the character are temperamental and have complicated relationships with humanity, but show Louis is the bear being poked to a much greater extent. He's embittered towards humanity in a way book Louis could never be, so yeah, he probably does hate them as a vampire.

[elendsessor]

ngl i think its so important how the metaphor cast feels like a found family both in comparison to atlus’s/studio zero’s backlog and the general jrpg landscape

repeat after me: metaphor is not a megami tensei game.

this being said, there was definitely some influence because of the devs working on it, though this is due to the gaming landscape. save for indie titles, you’d be hard pressed to find a studio, especially one owned by a big company, to even be given the chance to make a new ip. atlus in particular has a history of financial flops, which is actually why the sega merger is so important. without sega, no matter how successful persona got, they would have died out in the 2000s/early 2010s. this is also why they lean on persona a lot more. of course, persona isn’t the only influence behind metaphor despite the big names having worked on modernsona, as some of its dna draws from traditional fantasy rpg tropes and digital devil saga. however, this has influenced how the game was approached on several levels, as diverting too much could have caused the game to flop. metaphor hinged most of its success based on studio recognition and marketing, and considering how persona is atlus’s cash cow, it needed to take every advantage it could get.

metaphor can definitively be best described as experiencing some first game syndrome pains + development hell complications, but in general, its plot and especially character dynamic writing seems to have been an exercise for the studio they couldn’t get while sticking to persona. no matter how you feel about the series, there’s no denying that, particularly with p3 onwards, it became a very mainstream-influenced anime rpg, filled with tropes and fanservice galore. only issue is how this alienates potential players. everything wrong with persona’s team writing is one reflected throughout the genre because it was made to fit that genre.

the anime rpg market is over saturated, the fandom reputation didn’t help, and to be honest, like many jrpgs in general, the party relationship falls into the trap of having minimal group chemistry outside of a shared goal, leaving them to not truly feel like a collective group of friends once the big bad goes down, especially if there’s a punching bag. as such, there seems to be plenty of reevaluation of how topics and characters are handled in order to attract a new player base turned off from the genre.

and that’s probably why i love the approach to metaphor’s main cast the most. while all end up having a shared goal aka we need to kill that fucking twink, they’re really initially brought together because they’re societal outcasts one way or another, then grow to like each other overtime due to exposure breaking down several barriers.

the biggest example for me is how heismay begins to shut down his perception of paripus after the eht ria arc, as its the first time he hears about what was actually going on the day his son was killed—there was an uprising from a tribe often forced into slavery and becoming lab rats, and unfortunately, an innocent bystander got caught up in it.

his relationship with basilio is really interesting in that regard tbh. there’s a growing respect once he and fidelio decide to help them out in defending other innocent kids caught up in a mess, and i think seeing him lose a loved one really put into perspective paripus aren’t inherently violent. sure, the magnus brothers were on louis’s side because at least fidelio believed might makes right, but having the courage to not abandon morals just to people please? takes a lot of guts.

that’s really where that respect starts to be gained even if it isn’t obvious. by the time the final day rolls around and they help hold the line? heismay actually being nice to basilio and even saving his life feels earned.

junah’s also really important. while initially from a shitty place and not holding sanctist beliefs or at least the extreme parts of it, given how she gets taken into a powerful family, finds success really easily despite her tribe, plus a lot of special treatment from every major group really gives her that unintentional superiority complex. she only goes along with will because they’re both from the resistance, initially treats him like an assistant, and one of the first things she says on the runner is denouncing how it isn’t up to her standards.

it’s another quiet background development in that it’s subtle, but she does end up challenging her worldview upon meeting eupha. being raised in an entirely different culture only to start seeing parallels in terms of faith being warped, causing unnecessary loss of life? that’s why she came to the conclusion she wants to help. this isn’t mentioning the follower ranks, furthering that understanding of how not everyone gets the same treatment as her because of things out of their control.

also noticed how everyone loses someone close and how at least one team member fills that same gap. extra bonus points for gallica because what’s this? a navi character that isn’t beating up on a single character and even then comes from a place of caring, praising those when they deserve it and showing worry when things don’t go as planned?

not a lot of games have this close knit relationship gained, usually only sticking to a couple characters liking one another and everyone liking the protagonist. it’s refreshing. the writing team deserves so many kudos for it it’s insane.

[ao3-top-batfam-ships-bracket]

My problem with Bat/ Bat ships isn't that they exist, it's how many people like them.

Wait! Hear me out. I swear I have a reason.

I'm good at ignoring ships that squick me, so I do. I also want to make it very clear I am not I am not hating on individuums who ship Bat/ Bat.

But to me, how much people ship them is kind of indicative of how little we value adopted children in our society. People say they aren't "really related" so it's fine.

Because you just don't see that level of engagement with ships involving biologically related family.

And it's that attitude shining through more than the shipping itself I dislike.

"Fiction isn't reality" no, it isn't, write the darkest thing you want. Explore fucked up concepts. That doesn't make you a bad person. It's completely normal.

However oftentimes Fiction is often still a reflection of reality. From reading, we can learn about our society (or other societies, if we venture beyond our own culture.) It says something, whether the author meant for it to mean something or not.

We understand where you're coming from and agree that adopted children/siblings are real family and shouldn't be valued less. We also agree that fiction mirrors reality which mirrors fiction, although that process is much more complex than many people claim.

However, 1) not every family is your typical nuclear family. Everybody defines their family and their relationships with its members in their own way. Some people call all adults that are close to them uncles and aunts, regardless of any actual biological connection. Someone could have been raised by their biological parents, but don't claim them as parents because of personal reasons and even view other adults who filled the parental roles better as their actual parents. Someone could have a biological sibling that is much older than them, grow up without them in their life and due to that think of them as more of a cool friend than a sibling. (All examples are taken from our own personal experiences.)

It's especially apparent in cases of found family, which batfamily certainly is. Tim and Jason haven't met until Jason was 18 and Tim was 16. Both were adopted by the same man, but they didn't know each other. Does that automatically makes them brothers? Even though without the adoption papers they would be total strangers? If Jason's death invalidated the adoption papers does it mean he and Bruce stopped thinking of each other as parent and child? Bruce and Dick have an age difference between 10 to 20 years and viewed each other more as brothers, partners and mentor/mentee at first. Bruce and Tim for a long time also thought of each other as mentor/mentee, especially since Tim still had a living father. That was also the case of Dick and Damian. Tim had a crush on Cass in the comics at the beginning of their friendship. Jason and Dick were technically brothers before Jason's death, but they weren't close at all and only met a few times. Barbara is a mother/sister figure to Cass even when she was dating Cass' adopted brother Dick. We don't think Jason and Cass even met once in post-crisis comics, despite technically being siblings. (Sorry we're only mentioning that one era, we aren't as knowledgeable about new52 and rebirth.)

The recent push to make the batfamily a nuclear family in our opinion does a huge disservice to the characters and their interesting and complicated relationships that can't fit neatly into boxes labeled "sibling" or "parent".

2) some people think of batfamily as a family AND still ship them at the same time. Yes, some claim they aren't "really related", but there's another side that absolutely views them as related and wants to explore what happens when two brothers or a father and son fall in love.

3) there's actually a pretty big engagement with ships involving biologically related family. Wincest (ship between biological brothers Sam and Dean from Supernatural) is the 15th most popular ship on AO3 of all time. We still remember how prominent the fandom discourse about shipping the Weasley twins from Harry Potter was. In almost every fandom, there're at least a few incest ships. Are they more popular than adopted sibling incest ships? We don't know, but if anyone wants to measure it in some way, we'd love to find out.

Edit: 4) as people have rightfully pointed out in the comments and reblogs, a lot of fics are AUs where one or both characters weren't even adopted and met in different circumstances. You can see that in a lot of fandoms, people will imagine close friends or even strangers as biological family and vice versa: write biological or adopted family as just friends or even strangers.

We're looking forward to hearing what other people think about this topic!

[cruising-cats]

Adamlytic’s Relationship Chart!

these are all the connections to the major characters he has in Deltarune. Anyone else is a stranger or he doesn’t quite know very well to take a stance on.

In this post I’ll explain each and every relationship he has and why they are like that. If you just wanna look at the chart, that’s fine, I totally understand. But if you wanna listen to my insane ramblings, stick around.

Susie: Adamlytics got to understand both Susie and Ralsei like on their side adventure in Cyber City. Normally, Adam would be completely terrified of a troubled Lightner like Susie, but he was fortunate enough to see her nice side. He just hopes she’ll stay out of trouble, whether she’s in the Dark World or not.

Berdly: Adamlytics finds Berdly very annoying. He finds Berdly’s smug attitudes unbearable because he doesn’t have the smarts to actually back it up. In reality, Berdly reminds him of his younger self. Adam’s the type of smartass that can’t stand looking at his own reflection. Berdly’s just a kid, so this intolerance isn’t too deep. Adam would still be open to helping Berdly if he was in need of it.

Tasque Manager: He’s always respected his coworker for the dedication to her job. They’ll have the occasional chit-chat during their break. Otherwise, they don’t interact too much.

Sweet Cap’n Cakes: This trio has always been too loud for him to handle. He appreciates their business but their high energy is just too much for him.

Queen: As his boss, of course he’s going to be well-acquainted with her! While she may be hard to deal with sometimes, Adam knows that the Queen is capable of being a caring leader. Though after Spamton’s eviction, things had gotten a bit more complicated between them. Part of him is angry with her while the other understands it was merely business and nothing personal. Outside of their professional relationship, Adam keeps his distance.

The Addisons: Adamlytics blames the other Addisons’ selfishness for not stepping in whenever Spamton was clearly on a downward spiral. It sickens him to think that jealousy alone caused them to cut out one of their own. For this reason, refuses to conduct business with them entirely.

Swatch: Adam and Swatch have both been good friends since he gained an office in the mansion. The two have very logical minds and a drive to serve, making them pretty compatible for each other. They will occasionally talk after work hours, though they both have problems taking time to be outside of the workplace at all.

Spamton: Over the years, Spamton and Adam have had a very touch and go relationship. It wasn’t until Spamton made it as a big shot that Adamlytics started to notice him. Spamton spent countless nights writing up notes pertaining to whatever his friend on the phone was telling him but sometimes he had no idea what they were trying to tell him. Spamton frequently asked for Adam’s help in decrypting the confusing language his phone friend spoke in, knowing he’d probably be the most equipped to do so. Soon, they began to have these long conversations or just sit with each other in perfect silence. As Spamton’s fame and sanity deteriorated, only Adam was there for him. It’s been difficult but Adamlytics has embraced Spamton’s changes instead of rejecting them like everyone else. Spamton can be a little overbearing sometimes but Adamlytics believes he’s still the same man he met all those years ago.

Jevil: He’s listened to Spamton rant about him enough to write a book about the guy. He doesn’t seem pleasant, even if they’re just rumors.

Noelle: Similar to Spamton, the two have an unlikely connection. As the computer’s main search engine, Adamlytics frequently found her searching for information on Dess Holiday, someone he wasn’t quite familiar with. Though, he did his best to find Noelle any data on her that he could. Mostly it was just the same missing report page every time. He hoped that someday he’d be able to give her more answers to the question that plagued her mind: where did Dess go? Outside of that, he often found her questions the most interesting and gave them much more thoughtful responses. He hopes the best for Noelle, even if she doesn’t know he’s rooting for her.

Kris: Adamlytics doesn’t quite understand why Spamton’s so quick to take this Lightner under his wing. What makes the pair so bonded compared to any other person? Why does Spamton seem to trust this random kid more than him…? Adam doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he doesn’t know Spamton as well as he think he does.

Ralsei: Ralsei always came off as the reason amongst the chaos to him, so the two got along most of the time. And after the fountain was sealed and Adam moved into Castle Town, Ralsei been providing him with the most support out of anyone. He’s encouraged Adam to find purpose with this new opportunity. Adam has appreciated that more than Ralsei could ever know.

Alright, I spent way too much time working on this. I’ll go back to drawing like I usually do.

[thebramblewood]

I was tagged by @retrotrait, @simvanie, @moonwoodhollow, @aheathen-conceivably annnnnnd @salemssimblr to post my top 24 screenshots from 2024, but I jumped the gun on posting a retrospective earlier this month.

I still wanted to do something, though, so I'm going to take some inspiration from @elderwisp and talk about my favorite story scenes of the year specifically - since there's nothing I love more than yapping and reminiscing.

Before I start rambling, I'll tag @living-undead, @esotericas-sims, @fallstaticexit, @simsdaughters, @biffybobs, @whyeverr, @kissalopa and @earthmoonz! I'm sure some of you have already done this (and no pressure if you don't want to), but I'd love to see you reflect on your year in whatever way suits you!

Good food and hard truths with Grace Anansi (one, two). I think this is quietly one of my favorite moments in the story so far because it revealed so much about Caleb's past that until this point had only been hinted at. It also gave him a friend and confidante, which he sorely needed. This was an extremely lengthy and exposition-heavy conversation, so it was challenging but rewarding to write, edit (endlessly), and execute in a compelling way. Plus, its final moments had to lead seamlessly into...

Party like a spellcaster (one, two). I think this was the first flashback in the story, so it was a pretty big deal! It was also the point where my ambitions started making scene preparation increasingly complicated. I spent a hell of a long time converting broomsticks and potions into pose accessories, but I was so pleased with how the vision came together, and it taught me a lot of skills that have become indispensable as my ideas grow more elaborate. Overall, it was a welcome moment of levity and joy for Caleb, even as we know tragedy looms in the future.

Lilith does a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing. Turns out once I started doing flashback scenes, I couldn't stop. You guys have no idea how it felt to sit on this particularly nasty secret for months. I wanted it to be a shocking reveal that fully established Lilith's villain status, but I also knew I would have to get her back into Helena's - and our - good graces eventually. It's been interesting to write a character like her who you love and hate at once. Ultimately, I want all of us to be on the same rollercoaster ride as Helena, equal parts repulsed and fascinated. This was especially wild to bring to life because it felt pretty surreal to be adding a whole new layer to this idea that originated years ago in my legacy!

Helena Zhao can't come to the phone right now. I was very proud of this scene because it was the first one where I made all the poses myself. It was also a major turning point in Helena and Julia's relationship, where their sisterly bond is deeply tested. I may have cried a little while writing and shooting it. I really enjoyed the brief moments we got to spend in Julia's perspective, and I hope to bring her back if the story calls for it. Although she was in extreme shock at what her sister had done, I imagine she'd eventually come around to having a bit more compassion for her situation. She'd probably be open to reconciling someday, presuming Helena ever sets foot in Copperdale again.

Reunited and it feels so... good? (one, two). I didn't even realize I posted Helena and Lilith's reunion on April Fool's! Everyone was waiting with bated breath to see if they would ever cross paths again... and who are we kidding? Of course they would! I had a very good time writing this conversation and giving Helena a chance to finally get everything off her chest - though, of course, she couldn't help but be worn down by Lilith's manipulative charm in the end. And then Caleb got his comeuppance for keeping the truth of what happened a secret for so long, reminding us once again just how scary Lilith can be.

Plasma Pals! As dark as this story is, I enjoy weaving in moments of comedy and lightness when I can, so it was really fun to portray Caleb and Helena's evolving friendship through the lens of a cheesy sitcom. I wasn't sure it would hit with anyone other than me because the funniest things I write are usually accidental. It's hard to be funny on purpose! But it ended up being possibly my most popular story post ever, so obviously I did something right.

Lilith teaches Helena the true art of supernatural seduction. I wanted this section of the story to be all about the two very different approaches Lilith and Caleb take to teaching Helena. This was one of my most technically challenging scenes. I shot the entire attack sequence twice because I was underwhelmed the first time. But in the end I'm glad I took the time to do that because it contains some of my favorite screenshots ever and really conveys Helena's internal struggle. But will she be able to resist when it inevitably happens again?

The night where it all began, part one. I love this entire series of flashbacks, but I'm particularly fond of the opening because we finally get a glimpse into what Caleb and Lilith's relationship was like as humans. It turns out they liked each other! And only bickered in a light-hearted way! And conspired and giggled together! This was another scene where I made all the poses. It was exhausting, but these flashbacks to the Vatores' vampire origins were so important for me to get right. I'd been thinking about them for a long time, so I wanted them to be as perfect as possible.

How Caleb was transformed, one and two. Again with the flashbacks! I think part of the reason I like them so much is because, as much work as they are, they always offer a change of scenery that refreshes my creativity. This particular scene was one I was obsessing over for months, so I had cultivated a very specific vision of how it would play out and didn't want to compromise. I'm glad I had the foresight to start learning posing far enough in advance that I felt ready to take it on. If I had to choose, this is my single favorite scene of the year. Everything came together exactly how I wanted, and it gives me chills every time I revisit it.

A very vampiric dinner date, part two. This entire sequence took so much work to complete from beginning to end! But it was the first big outing beyond Forgotten Hollow in a while, and I wanted it to be special. I enjoyed being able to put a bunch of pre-mades into compromising positions with your guys' vampires. As much of a pain as it is to pose multiple Sims, the end results are always worth it. And then, of course, the sequence resolves in Helena and Lilith having a genuine moment of intimacy for the first time since Helena was turned, which had us all squealing.

Helena is horny and confused. Can you believe this is the only Ulrike appearance of the year? 😭 I'm really glad I managed to sneak one in. Even though they broke up before she was turned, Ulrike is the ultimate reminder of Helena's human life, of everything she left behind and of what could have been. Other than her family, Ulrike is who Helena misses most when she thinks about the past. This scene was pulled together quickly based on me finding the pose pack. I wasn't entirely sure if it would even work as part of the main narrative. But I feel like the spontaneity made it feel extra special, even if it is a smaller moment.

Forgotten Hollow 101. If anything, the theme of this year has been taking an increasingly long amount of time to finish every post. This is in part because I got busier in the second half of the year but also because I can't stop thinking up crazy complicated ideas. This one took me a month more or less. Even though each vampire only had one picture, it required a lot of effort to get them all in game, find poses, set up locations, etc.! But it was so important to me to do justice to your guys' vampires, so I was happy to take the time, even in the couple of moments where I began to feel burned out. I hope to keep showing off your lovely creations next year!

[doyou000me]

Love In The Big City series adaptation: Episodes 3 & 4

On Knowing The Story and Characters (and their trash) Beforehand

CW: homophobia and attempted suicide 

I am late in writing this (@lurkingshan I’m sorry if it’s any extra trouble) but… it took a while before I managed to get through episode 4. This week was heavy. I cried. Episode 3 and 4 hit hard, and deep, and I am so very grateful that I read the book beforehand. Even going in prepared, knowing more or less what’s to come, I wasn’t prepared enough. How do you watch this, you who have not read the book and cannot brace for impact? 

After watching episode 3, I thought I was going to write quite a light hearted reflection this week. I took notes on the characters, especially Hyeong/Young-Soo and Eomma/Go Young’s mom, and I thought I was going to write about how we who have read the book are able to see through these characters’ bullshit from the very beginning. I was going to ask how they come across to the viewers of the series who haven’t read the book, and wonder how different our understandings of events and characters turn out. 

Then I watched episode 4, and it derailed everything. 

As much as the prior knowledge of having read the book allowed me to brace for impact at times, I also believe it gave a deeper understanding of what’s going on below the surface - and that makes some scenes, some lines of dialogue, cut all the deeper. 

The focus of episodes 3 and 4 is, to a large extent, homophobia and the fear of how others will judge us. 

We have the mother, who is religious and makes her every move to look good in the eyes of her fellow church goers and God - but I get the impression that the judgement of those around her is what she fears the most. She fights against judgement when her husband, Go Young’s father, cheats on her. She works hard to become successful and prove herself. She sends her teenage son to conversion therapy. She doesn’t wish to meet the person that her son sees as most important in his life, because she doesn’t want to face the fact that, after everything, there is nothing she can do to change the fact that her son is gay. 

Then we have Young-soo, simply called Hyeong in the book. He is a deeply complex character with many layers, and we dug deeper into him after reading part 2 of the book. Long story short, due to his past, he has a very complicated relationship with western influences, religion—and his own sexuality. It all boils down to a deeply rooted homophobia that not only affects himself negatively, but seeps out of him in a toxic poison of mixed signals and harmful actions. 

Between them, we have Go Young. Go Young, who has graduated, has lost his deeper, more meaningful relationships where he was safe and accepted, is struggling to make a place for himself as an author, is forced into a role as carer for his ungrateful mother, and is trying to live his life true to himself as an out and proud gay man. 

Go Young is in a position in life where he needs someone by his side. He needs someone who can support him, help him, share his burden and shine some light in the darkness. He seeks purpose, meaning, understanding—and finds Young-soo Hyeong. 

In the beginning, in spite of all the bullshit he spouts, he gives off an aura of being someone who has a deeper understanding of life—or, perhaps more importantly, he’s handsome, fit, and (once they get to that point) good at sex. In spite of all the mixed signals, Go Young can’t stay away. 

But the more we as viewers learn about Young-soo along with Young, we understand that there is no deeper understanding of the universe and meaning of life. There is little difference between Young-soo and Young’s mother, in that they are both unable to see Young for who he really is. Instead, they see the version of him that they are willing to tolerate, while constantly (more or less actively) working to change him and put him on a course to an “acceptable” life. 

Throughout episode 3 and primarily episode 4, we see how this wears on Go Young and it finally becomes too much when Young-soo denies that there was ever any love between them. We see Go Young come home, and in the harsh light of the kitchen lamp, he makes himself an ice coffee. With efficient movements, he gets the ice from the fridge, then goes to find the pills. Swallowing them down with his coffee drink, he takes pill, after pill, after pill–

And black. 

This scene plays out similarly, if not exactly the same, in the book. His mother’s words, when he wakes up in the ICU, are the same: 

“Don’t try so hard. We all die someday, anyway.” 

These are the first words from a mother when her son wakes up after a suicide attempt. There is no happiness, no relief, no reassurance, in those words. There is no welcome back, no thank God you survived and there is no why would you do such a thing? And Go Young, strapped to the machine, just stares at her blankly, his eyes dry and expressionless, because he has given up and expects nothing else. 

The ones who do welcome him back, who are overjoyed at seeing him awake and remind him that he is loved and that there are reasons to live, are his gay friends. The T-aras are shut out of the room, on the other side of a glass. They’re not allowed to be there, and in the book, they aren’t there—but I am very grateful that the adaptation added them as a hint of light after such a heavy episode. 

It is thanks to them that Go Young finally cried and finally decided to move again. 

Similar to the book, we get a time skip. Young has moved on. He has aged. He still cares for his dying mother, but while the hurt isn’t gone, he knows now not to expect anything from her. And when his own manuscript gets sent to him, full with corrections that Young-soo has made in red pen in an attempt to correct the story of Go Young’s own life, Go Young throws it in the trash. 

“It is not my trash.” 

So move on. Get rid of the trash. Be weary of the trash that others carry with them, and do not make it your own. 

Even if that trash is homophobia, put it where it belongs.