#veronica lodge » relevant

[jhsharman]

Fit to Be Tied

Now.

Sometimes it is a touch hard to figure the moralizing lessons in this era in Archie Comics, under the authorship of recent "modernizing the line into relevance" hiree Dick Malmgren. (This story follows one where Betty's dad is distraught on losing his job.) No, not a good idea for a high school kid to date a college kid. But we aren't really seeing all that much in terms of stakes getting built up here. We have a leap from Archie on Brian Stone handing Betty a frat pin to two steps ahead into presumptions of marriage? The terms of play mystify me totally.

Why.

[andsmile]

you're so pathetic writing a fanfic about archie having feelings for veronica even after he asked betty to marry him in canon and asked veronica for the ring. AS IF he'd ever have feelings for veronica again. stop being delusional.

a hater keeping me relevant 🙏

my suggestion is that next time you open ao3 you search for fics tagged archie andrews/betty cooper instead of fics tagged archie andrews/veronica lodge, and then you might find a fic of whatever you're trying to convince yourself of! if a fanfic is making you feel insecure, then i don't know what else to tell you.

[bugheadchemistry]

Remembering Fred at Thanksgiving

requested by anonymous

[heartsunholy-a]

He noses at her hair, shivering, so caught up in his need for her. She wipes his mind clean every damn time he sees her, like she’s reducing him to his most basic wants, needs, desires.

And one of them slips out, barely a whisper. “I want ya…soft with me. All dressed in white. My wife.” // [X]

Ship Edits 1 / ? - “Specs” Stroyer and Veronica Lodge for @voiceofmany

Only for her to reblog! // psd credit

[ladyinrosso]

Petition to have Kevin Keller and Veronica Lodge as main in Katy Keene’s next season so we can have:

1) McKeller sibilings bonding scenes

2) Veronica and Josie being awsome scenes

3) Them hangin out in New York 

4) Kevin HAVING LINES

4) Them HAVING  PLOTS

[thesocialpariahtable]

Ras: there will be a key party where couples swap partners for the night by choosing a set of keys...

[thestanhoe]

I need yalls help !!! I haven't seen Riverdale since like 3x2 lmaoooo and I just need a rundown of what is happening between jughead and Hermione and veronica and Gladys. What's be deal there, what secrets are they hiding for each others mothers and more importantly why do they have these secrets?? How and why did they obtain them?

Are jughead and his mother in good terms??

Is Veronica and her mother still friendly??

Is Hiram even alive?

How did Gladys treat Veronica and how did Hermione treat jughead??

Where's jellybean and is there anything important I need to know regarding her?

I'm tryna write a one shot based on this but I ain't know shit I beg you help a bitch out lmaooooo

I appreciate it 💙

[rqnanced]

when i was 8 my american girl doll has the exact same cloak veronica wears in the pilot

[heartsunholy]

Veronica Lodge tag drop pt.1

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

For once, the musical is actually relevant to the show. Betty explains the plot to make sure that every viewer is aware of this unprecedented achievement.

She leaves out the crucial detail that the protagonist suffers from bipolar disorder and not from a case of the bitches, as does Alice. Hmmm …

Alice dreams she’s back in s1, playing Stepford families with Charles, Polly and Betty. Neither Hal nor Chick are invited, which … RUDE!

Remember how Archie and Eric remodeled the Pembrooke for Veronica? Apparently, it’s now smaller, because, somehow, the Andrews residence, with its one single bathroom beats the Lodge’s abode … 

Veronica relocates to Archie’s childhood bedroom.

It remains unclear whether Smithers moves in as well or stays at the Pembrooke to re-enact that scene from Risky Business.

Speaking of moving, Britta has been living in the janitor’s closet under the stairwell at school. Unfortunately, Professor Jones isn’t working at RHS anymore, so he couldn’t provide advice on how to remain undetected. She is found out by the janitor.

She could have used those 10k Veronica gave her for scoring a goal for the Bulldogs back in 5x9 to rent a room at the Five Seasons but maybe she’s saving up for college?

Some singing.

Riverdale, the writers tell us, is in a perpetual state of crisis. And whose fault is that, may I ask?

Tabitha asks Jughead to become her fake boyfriend for her dinner date with her parents. Since both she and Jughead are the only people not having had any sex since coming back to Riverdale, they decide to sing a song and kiss.

More sad songs.

There hasn’t been a single fire in Riverdale ever since Archie put together his merry band of firefighter volunteers back in 5x7 but suddenly, they are everywhere. Could it be Hiram trying to woo Archie back?

Without Kevin’s artistic direction, Cheryl’s cult is left with no followers. She uses autotune but it doesn’t change anything.

Reggie Mantle is studying to become a licensed stockbroker. Veronica is intrigued. After all, he has the approval of both her father and her sister. Wait! Is Reggie being groomed by the Lodges?! What about Nana Rose??

More sad songs again.

It is Mother’s Day in Riverdale aka Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Day. Alice accuses Betty of living her own life. Also, of being responsible for Polly’s death. Sounds like a typical Riverdale Mother’s Day indeed.

Both Tabitha’s father and myself believe Jabitha is a passing fancy.

You know it’s serious when Archie takes off his shirt but Veronica doesn’t look.

“Where do you see us in the next 5 years?” asks Veronica. “Oof” replies Archie. Or something to that effect.

Veronica Lodge did not kill her husband in order to share a bathroom with Jughead and Uncle Frank! What’s next? Sharing closet space with Smithers?! She moves out of Archie’s house.

She probably never found out about the dogs. Small mercies.

Betty visits Kevin to sing a duet with him. Kevin, being big with musicals, is so thrilled that he offers her a second duet.

Unlike the writers, Tabitha’s dad remembers the crazy alien nights at Pop’s back in the 70s and is critical of his daughter going back there. Or leaving her 6 figure CEO job to go date the busboy. He hasn’t learnt about the Coyote Ugly nights yet. That’s ok. There’s time.

I’m living for the moment Jughead gifts him a copy of The Outcasts.

Jabitha sing and kiss again. To be honest, that is a kink that I would have associated with Kevin rather than Jughead.

Jughead should be kissed often and by someone who knows how  i.e. Betty.

Cheryl and Toni have tea Without. Singing. QUEENS!

Betty vows never to leave Alice. Alice accepts her apologies. Betty and Alice sing again the show’s moto: “And you find out you don’t have to be happy at all”. It’s true. I’m not happy at all.

Everybody sings together in front of Polly’s grave. It’s a metaphor for this season being one long funeral. The Blooper twins make an appearance. Everyone’s so shocked that the writers remembered them that no one mentions how different Juniper looks. Recast or the Mothmen? You decide!

Toffee is driving a truck down the Lonely Highway. She’s coming back to Riverdale and is ready to cut a bitch.

One down. One more funeral left.

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S6B, Ep #101 (“Unbelievable”)

Hello people I am back. Spoilers and gratuitous longing for Sweet Pea follow. 

A bomb blew up the Andrews house to smithereens but the Cooper house is completely unscathed.  I don’t know why that strikes me as less creepy than the fact that Alice Cooper is wearing her hair exactly like her surviving daughter’s.

We open with  Betty, Archie and Jughead sitting in the Cooper home, trying to explain what happened at the end of S5 to Alice and Frank.  Then Alice asks each of them a question, followed by a suggestion that all of them need to go to the hospital.   This is one of the very few instances in SIX SEASONS that Alice Cooper actually had a direct exchange of dialogue with Jughead Jones and it feels a bit momentous.   Archie doesn’t want to go get medical care, Betty doesn’t want to either, but tellingly, Jughead Jones can’t afford  to go.  That he wants to might be inferred, because he doesn’t say he doesn’t want to, or that he doesn’t think he needs to.  And the entire table of people - his childhood best friend, his childhood girlfriend that he hallucinates as a ministering angel when he’s in a literal pit, his dad’s ex girlfriend and mother to his half brother - all just STARE AT HIM and say nothing. Nobody offers help - not even Veronica Lodge’s financial resources (which are considerable, as we shall see later). 

Along with gentrification and small town blight, the insurmountable terror of hospital bills in a for-profit medical system is a theme that Riverdale consistently brings up and I feel very sorry for you all. (I live in a universal healthcare country and actually, people who immigrated to America repatriate when they run into health problems and exploit the health system they didn’t pay into and local politics issues of no interest to anyone reading this sorry).

Alice being very insistent about getting medical care for Betty makes me feel very much for the fact that both Archie and Jughead are motherless, with living mothers. Because Uncle Fucking Frank doesn’t do what Fred would’ve wanted and also insist that Archie get a check up after a bomb literally exploded under his actual bed.  He just wants facts.  I hate him so much.  

The Andrews house looks absolutely unsalvageable.

Jughead, upon very clear confirmation that nobody from his pre-time jump life cares about him, directly goes to the Diner, where the only two people who give a shit what happens to him (that would be Tabitha and Pop Tate) are trying to run a business in a similarly bombed out Chock’Lit Shoppe.  Riverdale pulling at my Jughead heartstrings here, because Tabitha has a concerned reaction (“What???”) but Jughead reverts to thinking up the only way (he has been led by his so-called friends to think) he adds value to anyone else’s life: He’s going to write an article about what happened to him in a way that makes it relevant for people who are not him.  What a long winding way to get attention and care.

The shoulder-grab move he does to beg Tabitha for a place to stay (because they haven’t moved in together yet because that happened in Rivervale and this is already too taxing for my brain) was also extremely sad.   He doesn’t seem entirely sure that he’s going to get a yes answer.  And because Jughead summarily says that everyone is fine, Tabitha looks worried but doesn’t come at him with You Have to Go To the Hospital the way Alice, who has seen the actual aftermath of the explosion felt compelled to do.

As he leaves the diner, the actual physical damage the explosion wreaked on Jughead manifests in the form of tinnitus.  Because he has done the most important things: Gotten affirmation that someone cares about him, figured out a place to stay, given himself a project.  The show makes it seem like he gets tinnitus from the bell on the door of the diner but I really think this was needing the basics cared for first.

Toni and Fangs tell Kevin they are now romantic, but very much bisexual and Riverdale is a funny funny show because literally a second after they drop this ‘bombshell,’ Sheriff Keller calls Kevin with news of the explosion at the Andrews House, and he must’ve said, “A bomb went off” since Kevin says exactly those words in the form of a question. Yes Kevin, a bomb did just go off in your life, in more ways than one.

I like the idea of Choni, I really do, but those two have never had any sexual chemistry.  And now we have Fangs and Toni - Tangs? Foni?  - and they have repellent energy and I don’t know what to do anymore. All three people are TV beautiful so why is this such a lacunae, a VOID, of sexual tension?

The phone tag the Riverdale community plays in the aftermath of the explosion is very funny. Betty and Archie have no friends in the community and so tell nobody.  Jughead has a friend, and that’s Tabitha so he goes to tell her himself.  Kevin is told by his dad and his first instinct is to call Veronica.  Somehow Britta hears about this from somewhere else and is the one to tell Cheryl.  

Britta has the same elaborate braids they used to give Jellybean when she lived in the Cooper house. Does this mean something?

I’m just going to leave this note for myself here. I have absolutely no recall of whatever Abigail’s curse was or whatever it was that happened with that.  This must’ve been sometime in s5, pre Rivervale and I’m so sorry but I just don’t recall.  Cheryl is freaking out about the curse being real and Nana Rose claiming she burned the piece of paper with the magic recipe on it or whatever, and I just have no idea what she’s talking about.  I apologize. 

One of the major events of this episode was the absolute demolition of Mary Andrews.  I’ve always thought she was a  total failure as a mother - more so than Alice Cooper (Yes that’s what I said - she of the Giving Yale Money To the Cult) and Penelope Blossom (Son Worshipping Serial Killer Brothel Madam) and Gladys Jones (who definitely beat up Jughead as a small kid and all the rest of it).  Mary Andrews just does not care about her son.  Absolutely indifferent.    Everything she does in the rest of the episode is absolute villainy. Unforgivable.

And Uncle Frank seems to know this.  The stone cold clarity of this exchange had me in stitches. 

Frank: Have you called your Mom? 

Archie: No not yet. I don’t wanna worry her.

Frank: It’s her house, Archie. 

Mary Andrews will want to know that her property in Riverdale has in demolished by a bomb, is what Frank is saying.  Mary Andrews the homeowner will care about the house.  Mary Andrews will want to know the state of her real estate investment in Riverdale. She does not and will not worry about Archie. Frank knows this and says it straight.

Then the second funniest bit of this episode happens. The Vet who is looking after Bingo, who somehow didn’t die after being crushed under a wall or something in the explosion, comes out and asks the Bear and the Redhead  if they are “Bingo’s Dads.” Archie is Gay joke goes here.

Tinnitus is getting bad for Jughead while typing in Tabitha’s apartment (where he doesn’t live).  The interior is exactly the same as it is in Rivervale.  She and Jughead are wearing the same shade of brown in their outerwear - hers is leather, his is suede.   This made me happy. She also brought him food because she thought he would be in the zone.   Jughead is still lying to Tabitha by omission about his hearing problem, and instead says that he’s going to write the article about Hiram Lodge rather than about the ‘cherished’ Andrews home.  

Riverdale writing room really coming for the Jughead stans in this episode.  Who exactly cherished this home? It isn’t really Archie, per se.  It’s Jughead, for sure.  But anyway, he’s still trying to ‘buy’ standing and legitimacy through writing, and in the short term he achieves this goal because Tabitha has a bone to pick with Lodge as well.  The searching look Jughead gives her retreating back is him trying to figure out if he can admit to having an actual problem and not get rejected out of hand or treated with cruelty. He’s  not sure.

Tangs/Foni doesn’t really work as a couple for me but what they really truly don’t work as is gang leaders.  Fangs was the also ran sidekick to Sweet Pea who used to be the main muscle.  Toni was kind of a mafia princess type, who was given a certain amount of standing by dint of birth.  Neither have any sort of  the air of recklessness or danger about them.  I don’t believe you,  at all.  Physically small, pretty people CAN be scary, but these two are not it.

“We can’t be as reckless as we once were” is what Toni says, which ignores the fact that the Serpents under Jughead were a daycare center that things happened to, and when she and Fangs took off for college, it was entirely dormant and existed physically only in the form of Sweet Pea.  Now there are about 11 Serpents hanging around in what seems to be the Whyte Wyrm, though the basement space under the diner is magic and can expand or shrink depending on the story’s needs, and right this moment it looks very tiny. 

Pandemic regulations are starting to ease up, and the way the group shots are presented in this episode made me wonder if they are going to do discussions about 2020-2022 television tropes thirty or fifty years from now.  This is how it apparently works in Canada:  Only two people can sit in any close proximity to each other, others can stand in groups but must face in the same direction AND NOT TALK. 

There’s nothing about this ragtag cluster of people staring silently at Fangs and Toni that would scare even me, a super-femme-y,  short, soft-bellied, bespectacled desk jockey. (If we meet in the wilds of the real world this is how you can recognize me.) This looks like a gang run by Mickey and Minnie Mouse.  When Minnie Mouse (um, Toni Serpent Queen) mentions Twyla Twist, the new Ghoulie leader, they play a rattlesnake sound effect over her name. Even though she’s a Ghoulie. Is this Toni’s inner Serpent coiling at her?

Since the show stupidly wrote off Sweet Pea (#justiceforsweetpea) can we at least get Peaches back? The only reason the Ghoulie leader has to be this new Twyla lady is because there is no way that Toni would in any way be a force to reckon with for a criminally minded male villain. Everyone loses. I hate it here.

Cheryl is doing candle magic.  Riverdale the show tells us through Britta’s worried eyes and scared line delivery that we “now believe in magic and curses.”   This is a statement of purposes stated in the form of a question.   Cheryl answers by saying “a new age of wonderment is upon us.”  This completes the statement of where the show is going to go now. Strap in everybody.

Chicago is the source of all badness this episode (Mary Andrews lives there, Twyla Twist comes from there).   

Archie has visited Betty at the hospital.   “Everyone keeps texting and calling to check in” says Betty. Me too, says Archie.  But Jughead (without Tabitha) is all alone.  (Tabitha is real right? She’s exchanged dialogue with Veronica, so she’s absolutely real. I’m suddenly worried Tabitha may be a Jughead hallucination and he’s really as alone as I fear.)  This ‘peek’ into their being close and intimate together is beautiful looking, the hospital lights glowing yellow, haloing Betty.  Archie saved Betty but neither of them understand what’s happened. Both are disturbed.

Someone has blown out Cheryl’s magic candles so she’s very annoyed, but the important part of the exchange she has with Nana Rose is that Cheryl calls her an old maid. Is this not her grandmother? (Even if not biological?) Didn’t Nana Rose mention being married to a husband who stepped out on her and um, fathered those feral Blossoms who lived in the woods??  Does old maid mean something different to Cheryl?

When Betty checks out of the hospital is when Alice mentions INTERNAL BLEEDING. So there’s still no ambulance or law enforcement in Riverdale, and once again, everything Alice says is quite sensible as well as applicable to Jughead and Archie. Why does Frank never suggest this basic check up to Archie??

I am four pages into this word document but the show just showed me the Producer’s name. 

So Jughead and Tabitha are having breakfast.  Jughead is suffering from the disorienting effects of his steadily worsening ear problem while Tabitha is exulting over his article.   So we never hear it. The Show’s commitment to never showing us Jug’s writing after Bughead ended is absolute.   I am curious as to why Jughead feels like he has to entirely give up fiction altogether when people he’s not really friends with (the Serpents) didn’t like it, and, yeah, his agent fired him for attempted plagiarism but to become an untrained gonzo journalist seems like a drastic turn.

Veronica and Betty have a short discussion - the FBI is going to go after Hiram, and the Lodge sisters will do the same.   Archie is getting very heavy in his gym.  The orderly that Betty saw glow red killed someone.  Hermosa is a disembodied voice on the phone. I want more Hermosa. 

The FBI office in Riverdale is hopping (there are at least 8 other agents in addition to Glen and Betty).  The shot set up is the same as with the Wyrm - Glen and Betty in one shot, or Betty and another agent in another shot, but group shots are held far away from people who have dialogue and are silent. 

You know how the evil orderly glowed red?  Veronica is now sitting in a very red lit room as she looks over Hiram’s evil doings, apparently dug up by Hermosa, when Reggie bounces in to say that he told his dad he needed time off from the car dealership.  

Veronica treats the documentation she has on Hiram as confidential to Reggie but not her plans to kill Hiram, which is an interesting choice.  Veronica also will not give any of this information to Betty, nor does Betty FBI agent ask her for any.   Veronica also says that her father will never “stop gunning for us” so I have to ask - Who is US? Does blowing up Archie’s house count as US?  What is the significance of this house to Veronica? Her attempt to live in that house and be wifey in it is what blew up her relationship with Archie.  

Meanwhile Betty is working late, so she’s super annoyed when Glenn comes in and tries to hit on her while drunk. The way Betty says the name “Archie” when asked who she’s seeing, and then says he satisfied her more than Glenn. This is an exact echo of Veronica telling the husband she eventually shoots dead that all she needed was Archie.  The thing is, even though Betty sees the red glow, what Glenn does is just look annoyed.  Betty punches him straight in the face, breaking his nose, because he takes a single step towards her.  Um. Yay? I guess?   

Archie never fights other men for women (he didn’t have to fight Sweet Pea for Josie, for example) but the women around him do violence.

Mary is such a problem. “How did you not die?” she cries, while weeping, but then she says a crazy thing (”It was your dad”) but doubles down to say this is the only thing that makes sense. 

Ownership of this house is an interesting issue.  Jughead ‘cherished’ this house.  Frank says the house is Mary’s (This is legally correct).   Mary says the house is Fred’s (“It’s his house”) and that’s probably emotionally correct.  Archie wants to live there for the rest of his life.  Veronica could not find a berth there. Hiram blew it up. 

Veronica calls in a dude who is coded Russian (He answers the phone with “Da”)  for the assassination job on Hiram.  There are Italian gangsters, Quebecois gangsters, the Lodges speak Spanish and were Catholic and seemed to be coded Cuban.  But the assassin is  Anatol and speaks with a Eastern European accent.   This seems unnecessary. 

Hiram’s death costs $2M. How much money does Veronica have? 

Reggie’s dad had a heart attack the day after Reggie says he doesn’t want to focus on the business anymore.  Marty Mantle’s shittiness as a father knows no bounds, because he absolutely refuses to release Reggie to live his own life, follow his own path. (Yes I am yelling at a man for having the wrong kind of heart attack.  Abuse your children -> I hope you die.)

Twyla Twyst is surprisingly maternal-seeming and is closer to the Fred/Mary generation.  She has the same assessment of the current era Serpents as I do.  And really, Toni’s absolute inability to be scary is what limits how bad Twyla can be. This is a huge pity.  Twyla doesn’t have the unpredictable grit of Gladys Jones nor the smart-person-stuck-with-idiots irritability of Penny Peabody.  She looks a lot like Ashley Judd, so I keep expecting her to sing a rockabilly song. I’m so annoyed. 

Hiram had time to make a deal with the Ghoulies before leaving town. OK - so the Ghoulies had Malachai, then Malachai and Penny, and then just Penny, then there’s this weird dormant period (Sweet Pea did say it was a long time since they rumbled with the Ghoulies and he was excited about it).  They had to bring in someone from Chicago, so she must’ve been some sort of Regional HQ. The geography is weird- the Serpents have an  Ohio branch and the Ghoulies have a big branch with this serious minded woman in Illinois.  Hiram had all this time to keep up contact with the straggler Ghoulies in Riverdale who managed to get a message to others in Chicago? Is there where Malachai is?

Serpent Mickey and Minnie Mouse are just not scary.  They just aren’t.  Sweet Pea is sorely missed.   

Archie meanwhile is doing a second, even larger clean up of his/ his dad’s/ his mom’s  house since moving back to Riverdale and having it destroyed in some way.  The way Archie tests his power, which he thinks he has now, is to punch an entire doorframe to pieces in the middle of clean up. This is the guy that is better than Glenn and better than Chad.  The only thing he does better is that he’s not a rapist and not a woman killer.  The standard is below the floor and I’m so depressed.

Mickey and Minnie not being scary is part of a giant problem (oh is this intentional?).  When Fangs says Twyla is stone cold crazy, it doesn’t land. Not with me because I saw Twyla and she doesn’t seem even a little bit crazy (Betty is much crazier) and not with Archie.  Instead of saying she’s crazy, Fangs may have been better off saying something like -  Twyla knows how to be an actual criminal and she’s twice our age and is professional about this including having direct contact information with Hiram and knowing how to get direct deposit links from offshore bank accounts… may have worked better.  But Fangs says someone’s crazy and Archie just looks at him.  They are waiting to hear back from FP.  

So FP talks to Fangs but not Jughead. 

Archie being the prize boy is kind of a problem.  He goes to where the Ghoulies are - doesn’t tell his FBI agent girlfriend, his sheriff’s son childhood friend, nothing to no one - and just goes to inflict violence. 

Reggie’s dad sickened and died in Rivervale, and he sickened and collapsed in Riverdale . Rivervale’s Reggie didn’t get to really reconcile but Riverdale Reggie says it “kills him the most” that his dad and he had reached peace at last.  The hospital room of reconciliation is orange but Veronica when she has to hear from the hyper-efficient Anatole that Hiram is dead is in a red-lit space.  She weeps. 

Archie has beaten up so many people so badly he is COVERED with blood. It’s kind of gruesome.  Betty has no reaction to people being so wounded as to bleed on him as long as Archie is not hurt. Is this a commentary on the FBI or on Betty? 

Jughead the neglected child who comes up with something self incriminating to say because everyone was willing to believe him this whole time - “I was in my head” when he’s directly asked, “Couldn't you hear him?” and then Tabitha refusing to take that first defensive answer because she’s observed him (closely and lovingly!) and knows what his tells are. OH THIS IS SO GOOD. 

Betty goes to interrogate (off books?) of the killer Trevor, hospital orderly.   They have the Virgin Mary behind Betty’s left, fully visible and lit in the orange light of reconciliation in her alcove, as she’s confronting the woman killing hospital orderly.  The Virgin Mary looking over Betty Cooper’s shoulder might be the only time in my life when I do not feel positive about the Virgin Mary.  The Virgin is still visible when Betty smiles so pretty at her boyfriend threatening the orderly with broken arms (“He’ll do it too”).

Betty and Archie tell each other their weird secret superpowers in the red glow of a different alcove at the Whyte Wyrm.  There’s an interesting array of posters right behind Archie but I don’t know how to get screen grabs.  One of them just says Southside Serpents with the snake design that’s all their tattoos (oh is Archie still a Serpent?) (But Jughead isn’t?)  Is this leftover or is this a recruitment poster?

In any case Archie, after doing whatever it is he’s done to the however-many Ghoulies he wounded (we haven’t seen yet), is now worried about his potential for ‘hurting people.’  But he doesn’t think Ghoulies are people.   Betty doesn’t think Ghoulies are people either.  Still bathed in the red glow of danger and death, Betty tells Archie about Glen getting ‘handsy’ and tells him not to do anything. She is very confident that Archie can’t mean ill, because she can see the red aura, except they’re both sitting in THE REDDEST place on earth and it’s not clear to me how she would see Archie’s aura if it’s red, given HOW RED the booth is.

Britta is possessed by Abigail.  When did this curse invocation happen? Was that Rivervale? I just don’t remember.

The clean up of the Andrews house continues.   And now comes Percival.  When asked by Percival, Mary says she’s the owner.  She doesn’t feel the need to consult with Archie at all whatsoever about what to do about this house.  Mary Andrews treats her son with the exact indifference that her son treated Jughead when it was clear Jughead wasn’t doing OK.   This is something he gets from Mary then?  In any case, she never asks, Do you have to find a new place to live?

When Glen comes to work, Betty is seated (didn’t she JUST MAKE FBI agent?) and the three women are standing around her denoting status plus she’s the one running the meeting.   And she reassigned ALL the men inclusive of Glen.   Subject of a sexual harassment investigation (?). Um. OK.   I don’t think Betty knows how sexual harassment investigations work, because Glenn could totally fight this and win. 

Going with someone to the blighted hospital in Riverdale is an act of love.  Betty is the only person on the planet that Alice says she loves, so she went with her. Then we have Tabitha who went with Jughead.  Jughead can now just be very honest about not being able to hear. Oh Jughead is so defeated when he says the percentages for the hearing damage he’s sustained, but he does get to hear, “We’re going to get through this together” 

Mary Andrew’s villain arc is complete with the revelation that she insists on Archie BUYING the cursed house from her.  She judges him for his decision, but she makes sure she doesn’t lose any money, because seriously, Archie acquires a mortgage, to buy a completely busted up house, from his mother, the lawyer who lives in Chicago.    I think she’s actually really pleased that the money she’d been ‘forced’ to put into a college fund for Archie (probably at Fred’s urging) can now come right back into her pocket.  I hate her so much.  (Is  the availability and unaffordability of real estate a huge problem where I live?  Why yes! How could you tell?)

Veronica lies to Reggie about killing her dad. There was an unexpected echo between Veronica and Tabitha - Tabitha has her sad reaction over Jughead’s hearing problems over his shoulder, and Veronica has her guilty one over Reggie’s.

Nana Rose stood up for this one and she’s weirdly following like, Catholic rules - Latin works better than English for magic and prayer.  

The call from Twyla  declaring war on the serpents happens when Toni and Fangs are in red light at the Wyrm. 

Archie assaults Glen. I’m now sure that Archie DID glow red when he was telling Betty that he’s invulnerable and she in her hubris did not imagine that the red neon that they were sitting in drowned out the light of his aura. 

Kevin takes custody of Baby Anthony.  So that baby definitely isn’t Kevin’s then?  I know Cheryl said that the question as to paternity of this infant was “gauche” and therefore none of us is supposed to ask, but I am gauche and common and vulgar and I want to know whose sperm created that child, all right?

The real estate agent that Mary hired (and probably forced Archie to pay for) to close on the sale, wherein Mary forced Archie to hand over his meager life savings to her, cannot in good conscience bring herself to call the building A HOUSE. She calls it a structure.  And like the abused, not very bright man he is, Archie thanks his mom for ‘trusting�� him.  Oh god dude you are so dumb.

Hermosa calls Veronica to say  blood will have blood.  I’m not sure what Hermosa’s end game was, actually.  Can she only come to town when Hiram is in custody, and is that what she was hoping for?

Betty and Archie  are in Betty’s childhood and current bedroom.  She now wears the Betty pink and she says ‘we should face it together’- meaning their strange powers-  and the camera angles back and forth are very like the  Ep. 4.17 confession of the Barchie kiss to Jughead.  And there’s some sort of musical theme  that plays over them while they’re being nice to each other.  

The dog has superpowers (healing?)  - so literally…. literally… the DOG made out better than Jughead.  Did you need to be IN THIS HOUSE for this superpower manifestation?  Does the garage not get St Fred’s protection?  Oh but that used to be Archie’s music room - is that why he’s deaf? Is this some sort of cosmic joke?

TBK is in the back of Glen’s car and does something to him in the red light. How does TBK know what Glenn did? Does TBK work for the FBI?  Plus, Glenn must really suck as a law enforcement person if he doesn’t check the back of his car before getting in. His reaction time is also extremely slow.  Good bye Glenn??

[iconic-ponytail]

if someone asks, this is where I'll be

a relevation in the light of day coda in four parts

II. Veronica

Hermione Lodge is getting out on parole. In reactionary mode, Veronica agrees to meet with her, once she's had a moment to get settled.

Jughead takes Luna for the day, insisting that it won’t interrupt his writing, but Veronica thinks he’s probably eager for the distraction. Betty and Archie both offer to come along, but Veronica decides this has to be done alone.

(It’s Jughead, too, who reminds her that she doesn’t have to do this if she doesn’t want to. Veronica uses the rare moment of deep, coursing understanding between them to her advantage. She lets it all spill out: that ever since her seventh month of pregnancy, she hasn’t stopped thinking about her mom. “I forgot the name of my favorite book when I was little, the first chapter book we read together. I wanted to buy it for Luna. And I tried to make Mami’s champurrado and it tasted like paste. Fuck, it was probably the nanny who made it anyway.” She's becoming the kind of person who processes and confesses things instead of stabbing them out with the heel of her consignment Pradas.)

read part two

read from the beginning

[thedreadvampy]

Sam and I are back to our S4 rewatching and we have SO MANY QUESTIONS about the rum war plot starting with:

How exactly do you patent a recipe for rum? the recipe for non spiced rum is literally cane sugar, molasses, water and yeast. you could patent a process but Hiram Lodge does not own the concept of fermenting molasses

further to this, how is it the same rum if you're making a spiced rum using a different process? they're not even competing in the same market at that point like people use spiced rum differently to how they use non spiced rum. and the relevant tasting notes and recipe are surely the spice blend?

further to that, if we grant that there's some specific essence to Lodge rum that is unaltered by using a different still, fermentation set up and additional flavourings, why does adding maple syrup as well as spices suddenly make it a different drink?

later on they backtrack on the idea of Luna Rum being a mixed drink and imply it's distilled from the maple. this seemed legit but then I googled it and fermented maple makes a different drink which is called Acerglyn. it can be distilled but it doesn't make rum per se.

wouldn't it be easier to just. change the balance of the four possible ingredients in rum slightly rather than reinventing the wheel and making a new spirit (which IRL as far as I can tell has only been made commercially since 2016)? if Hiram is making a dark rum, add more or less molasses, experiment with fermentation times and make a white or black rum. use a different yeast strain or something. there is a finite amount of possible base rum recipes I don't think he can sue you for Making Any Rum At All

also what are his boys at the lab looking for in ingredient similarities? 'yep boys there's blackstrap molasses and sugar cane juice in this rum. they're stealing our secret recipe shut em down'

I assume that abuelita's special rum recipe is just a piece of paper that says on it 'ferment some sugar wash then distill it' and Hiram has patented this unique approach

unrelatedly where is Veronica actually making the rum? there's no way that's a licensed still. forget illegally selling rum she's got an explosion waiting to happen in la bonne nuit.

WHAT RECIPE??????

[heartsunholy-a]

me, seeing V.eronica Disl.odge on a list of derby names:

me, remembering B.etty and V.eronica V.ixens:

me: anyway, I’m giving Ronnie and Betty derby subverses

[bossbex]

5x05 Reaction

WOW it’s been a while since I did an episode reaction post.  I’M EXCITED ABOUT THIS SHOW AGAIN!!!

The bughead walk home.  I liked this! I liked how it was awkward.  WHAT WAS IN THE VOICEMAIL??? Does Jughead even know what’s in the voicemail? 

Varchie walk home.  Cute! Friendly.  Was getting zero romantic, or even tense vibes.  He tells her that he hasn’t been in a relationship since her, which completely makes sense considering he’s been in the army since high school.  He didn’t say he hasn’t been with anyone, just that he hasn’t been in a relationship.  

Ok how old are the twins? Shouldn’t they be like 10? Alice is talking about them like they’re babies lmao “shhh, I just got them down”

Poor sad Jug.  I actually really like this turn for him... reminds me of S1 Jughead which was honestly the last time I really loved his character?? And obviously they are setting him up to be at his lowest so he can only go up from here (with a few bumps, probably) 

Kevin and Betty friendship YES!!! HOW is Betty only going through Charles’ stuff NOW, 7 years later after he was discovered to be a serial killer? I know it’s obviously just so she can play the Polly tape which is relevant to the plot of this episode and we shouldn’t be asking more questions but COME ON

Veronica and Hiram... this seems... repetitive... but I liked what happened with her character by the end of this episode. 

BOSS TONI I AM OBSESSED!!! And I love that they are all mad about his book, it’s great.  “You mean, the Vipers?” LMAO

AND MORE BOSS TONI!!! THEY’VE BEEN WASTING HER FOR 3 SEASONS SHE IS AMAZING

And Archie back to savior mode, we love to see it.  

Jugitha? Tabhead? I like their banter.  I’m into it.  I’m just really hoping that they don’t use another WOC as a plot device for Jughead to get back with Betty. If it happens, make it meaningful.  

MORE BOSS TONI!!! I love that Toni has never once strayed from her morals... no amount of money is going to make her screw over a bunch of students and work for Hiram lodge. 

“It used to be Kevin and I would sneak peaks through that window, hoping you were shirtless” BETTY YOU ARE SHAMELESS (also I absolutely LOVE a pilot reference) 

Wtf is Reggie doing.  Will he have a redemption arc? I really hope so! Like that he was blackmailed into working for Hiram and he is protecting his family in some way? Or something? Or maybe they have decided that he’s just “bad” now.  His hair is certainly bad...

Ok so Veronica is looking at getting a job as a... sports agent?? In LA?? Ok, Riverdale.  Sure.  And I guess she’s just done with Chad? Which ok, sure, that guy’s awful.  

SMITHERS LIVES!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao of course Monica Posh is back.  And this guy just casually has $30K cash laying around? Sounds legit.  

Ok I really thought the Betty gun scene was going to be Archie but turns out it’s Polly! Which I am happy to see!!! So it seems like Alice and Polly are bitter with Betty for “abandoning” them... which like, I don’t think that going to school and getting a job in a different state is “abandoning” your family.  But it does sound like Betty doesn’t call much and basically hasn’t been back to Riverdale since she left for college? Which is like... kinda shitty.  I wonder if that will be delved into a bit more.  Oh, who am I kidding, I know what show I’m watching.  

Toni at the Cooper house? Toni and Alice team up?? We love to see it!!!  

Ok Jughead lying about staying at the 5 seasons and actually staying in the bunker is just the saddest thing ever.  

Ok, I LOVE Tabitha?? “I think I’d remember a weird-ass name like that” LMAO. I Also love that she called the guy “pumpkin” in response to him calling her “sweetie” lol.  So good.  

Veggie comeback?? I miss them!!! But his hair... I can’t get past his hair. 

I actually love this plot point with Polly being involved with the Ghoulies and that being what gets Betty passionate about the raid (she had already offered help but now she’s IN)

The Betty and Archie arm touch? “You good?” I CAN’T

Can Kevin ever say a line without being interrupted? That’s just a running gag now lol.  I did enjoy the Succession reference though.  AND MORE BOSS TONI like seriously it’s so good.  

Ok I love how the plot point of Riverdale “going private” exists solely to allow all the main characters to become teachers there without having any teaching qualifications whatsoever LMAO.  Sure yes ok.  

I feel like Veronica should be asking her mom for help with Chad and not her dad? Wouldn’t she be more experienced in that side of things? Oh wait, we’re not supposed to ask questions about logic of storylines.  I do like the Hiram refused her help and brought up the scene “7 years ago” where she compared him to a dog, lol.  

Ok I feel like Betty is justified in questioning Polly about lying about where she’s working at the drugs (and since when has she ever done anything sensitively or discreetly?) and Polly is also justified in being defensive about it and thinking it’s none of Betty’s business since she hasn’t been around.  You know who’s business it IS, though? ALICE’S!!! Maybe Alice is overcompensating for sending Polly to SoQM years ago but she is all kinds of enabling her now.  

BARCHIEEEEEEEEEEEEE I could write a whole post on this.  Maybe I should? THE TENSION!! THE AKWARDNESS!!! “Cool” ---ARCHIE WAS SO NERVOUS WITH HER!!! THE SHOWER!!! OF COURSE BETTY CAN’T GO NEXT DOOR AND SHOWER AT HOME THAT WOULD BE TOO LOGICAL!!! THE LOOK THEY GIVE EACH OTHER THEY BOTH JUST FUCKING KNOW!!! THAT WAS SUCH A LONG AND EXPLICIT SEX SCENE FOR THE CW!!!!!! I KNEW IT WAS COMING FROM THE PROMO BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY!!!

Ok I’ve caught my breath... thoughts on this: 

This was LONG overdue.  I thought it was perfect.  They are adults, they both wanted each other, there was absolutely nothing in their way, and the show made sure that there was NO ambiguity about what they were doing.  They fucked in the shower, that’s it.  Some other notes - Betty twice in this episode talks about how Archie hasn’t changed - he is STILL the boy she has loved since she was a kid.

AND THEN THE CONVERSATION IMMEDIATELY AFTER!!! This show would normally not even have the characters address it.  We would have gone straight to the Pop’s scene with no discussion. “Something we’ve been wanting to do since high school but never got around to” I SCREAMED.  And their SMILES they are both so happy. I LOVED THIS!!! So we’re getting FWB barchie, great, I’m here for it.  You can see though, by both of their expressions, it’s more than that for both of them.  BETTY’S LIP BITE AT THE END GIRL IS IN LOOOOOVE

Jug’s speech at the retirement party was really good.  

Ok this Choni scene is just lovely.  They are both so soft I’M CRYING. “If our love ever meant anything to you, help us” SOB. 

Betty is the first one to agree to help Archie, noted.

Uh oh, Jughead is going to get in trouble again for writing about all his friends.  Or will he dig his way out of this? 

One last barchie moment TEXTING they are SICK

Jughead and Archie roomies!!! I love this!!! So much potential for tension and akwardness!! 

TL;DR - this episode was GREAT, barchie is HOT, and Toni is BOSS, this dynamic change up was NEEDED

[fyeahvarchie]

please why reggie embarrassing himself saying all kisses with veronica are the most romantic 😂 RAS stop this madness nobody ship them

What else did you want that man to say?

His character has either been a leftover thought for seasons on end or paired with Hiram Lodge.

The only dynamic he’s had with a female is Veronica. Whether it was platonic or physical.

It’s literally been the only thing that’s made him relevant since 5B started.