#a revelation coda

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 4th-10th 2024

I think we can all agree that last week was a bit of a rollercoaster? 🙃 At least we still have our emotional support gay firefighter show ❤️

(as always, if you know someone who's not tagged, please tag them in the comments!)

Complete

Good Luck Babe by jesuisici33/ @jesuisici33 (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda | 1K | Teen): Buck nods. His own face still has that kicked puppy look. But he manages a smile. Even sad, Buck’s smiles light his face up. Eddie thinks he could never get tired of Buck’s smiles. “Why did you shave it off? I need a distraction. A happy one.” “I’m working on no longer denying myself fruit juice.” It’s Buck’s turn to open and close his mouth in confusion. “O…kay? I don’t know what that means.”

watch you win, watch you cry by wenttoafortuneteller (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 1K | Teen): Buck lets out a long, tired sigh and admits: “Tommy broke up with me.” “Oh,” Eddie says. He makes a conscious effort not to smile.

your shoulders brush (no proof, one touch) by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 1K | General): “It’s not funny,” Buck whines. “I just thought– we have– were having a good time together. And he’s been so great through the whole figuring myself out, he made me feel so, um, so secure in my sexuality, you know?” “Well, you’re not any less bisexual if you’re not dating him,” Eddie shrugs. “So I guess he didn’t feel the same way, then?” “Kind of?” Buck turns on the couch and pulls one of his legs up. His knee nudges Eddie’s thigh, and Eddie is suddenly very aware that he’s not wearing pants.

ode to a conversation by markofalover/ @markofalover (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Getting Together 3K | Explicit): “He was right to break it off, because—Josh asked if I thought about him when he wasn’t around, and if his concerns and happiness were important to me, if I saw a future, and, Eddie, I—” “Buck,” Eddie cuts through again, and this time Buck listens. Closes his mouth and stares at him with big blue eyes, and Eddie. Eddie’s heart is in his mouth. It’s right in front of him. “Come here.”

It’s Always Been You by scarmaddiewrites (S8, Getting Together, PWP | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie travel to Texas to pick up Chris and run into some issues, all leading to them finally getting together.

ode to joy by signetsealed/ @gayeddieagenda (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, PWP | 3K | Explicit): “Okay,” Buck says. "Let's do that.” Eddie frowns. “Do what? Dance?” “Sure,” Buck says. “That, or whatever else you were thinking of doing. We can…be joyful.”

i must confess, i’m in love with my own sins by inbetweenthestacks/ @organizedstardust (S8E6: Confessions Spec | 3K | Teen): “I just want it to be easy, you know? I don’t want to have to think about if I’m acting the right way or saying the right thing. I just want to have a-a person. I want someone that wants to stand next to me. I want to know someone is always gonna pick me, no matter what, they’ll have my back. Like how it is with—“ he stops short. Buck, he almost says. Like how it is with Buck. — Eddie goes to confession and has a few revelations.

lock me down tonight by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (PWP, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): Buck grabs the bathroom door, but freezes before he can open it more than an inch. Because Eddie is in the shower, but he’s not crying. Eddie is standing with one arm braced against the tiled wall, turned away from the door. The shower spray cascades over his muscled back and the curve of his ass. His other hand is wrapped around his cock.

"What the fuck, make your move." by dylaesthetics (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, PWP | 4K | Explicit): When Buck smashes their mouths together, Eddie forgets how to breathe. Then, he isn’t all that interested in basic human necessities such as that. He thinks, at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs instead lie Kissing Buck, Making Buck moan, and Trying not to come in my briefs. ~ OR Eddie is Buck's last.

Thankful for You by scarmaddiewrites (S8, BT Break-Up, Pre-Buddie): The one where Buck plans Thanksgiving dinner at his place and then breaks up with his boyfriend.

Take The Bitter With The Sweet by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Ravi POV, Gettign Together | 5K | Teen): No one thought to brief Ravi on the Buckley-Diaz situation when he finally joins the 118. Spoiler, it goes about as well as a car crash.

first and last by hispolestar (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda | 6K | Explicit): And suddenly, like Eddie summoned him, Buck is standing in front of his door. Eddie’s not sure if this indicates that God is real, because He saw Eddie’s quest for joy, or if it’s just Evan Buckley. It’s probably the latter.

The Only Truth by phdmama/ @phdmama (Magic AU, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Eddie says, “I fucking hate you.” At least, that’s what Eddie intends to say, because he means it, in that moment he absolutely means it, having just watched Buck rappel four stories down a burning building and hit the ground eight seconds ahead of the roof caving in. What comes out instead is, “I fucking love you.” Luckily, just as he had opened his mouth, the roof had, in fact, collapsed, which caused a lot of commotion and noise and whatnot, and Eddie’s words, his very strange and unintended words, get lost in the mayhem. Huh, Eddie thinks as his body moves on autopilot, racing across the cracked asphalt of the parking lot. That was weird.

a night in early october by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-S5, Getting Together | 6K | Mature): Buck comes home from an extra shift, and Eddie makes him dinner.

sweet talk with a hint of sin by justhockey (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Getting Together, PWP | 7K | Explicit): He doesn’t want to stop; he doesn’t even want to slow down. He wants this, here, for the rest of his life. And he’s past wondering if he deserves it, past thinking he isn’t good enough for a man like Buck, past being scared of the love that lives inside of him. He wants Buck selfishly, wants him greedily, and if he’s willing to give himself over to Eddie, then Eddie isn’t a selfless enough man to say no. He isn���t strong enough to deny himself such joy. “Need you,” Eddie begs. “Please, Buck. Please.”

said that i was fine, said it from my coffin by justhockey (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Buck leans in so close that Eddie can feel his breath on his cheek when he asks, “Hey, are you sure you’re alright?” “I’m fine,” Eddie lies. And it doesn’t matter that he feels like he’s dying. Like the version of himself that he’s always been is suddenly a stranger to him - just a mask he’d spent his entire life hiding behind, without ever even realising he was wearing it. It doesn’t matter that Eddie is…that he’s gay. Because he knows - as surely as he knows that the sun will rise again tomorrow - that the only person he has ever, and will ever, truly love is Buck. And Buck isn’t his to love.

don’t mention any other name (that doesn’t sound like mine) by bandshirts (Post-S7, Getting Together | 9K | Mature): Or, Eddie flirts with a man at a gay bar. Buck is totally normal about it. (Spoiler: he’s not.)

so only say my name (it will be held against you) by bandshirts (Post-7x04, Getting Together | 10K | Explicit): Or, Buck accidentally says Eddie’s name during sex, figures out some things about himself, and finally gets the right guy this time.

WIP

wicked dreams by hispolestar (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 3/9 | 14K | Explicit): Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. Well, it actually starts much earlier, when he runs into a woman who is the literal carbon copy of his dead wife. Or, alternatively it starts with a lightning bolt. Or a sniper. Or a firetruck. Or a car crash. Or, realistically, a grenade embedded in a seventh-grade teacher’s leg. It starts with blue eyes, broad shoulders and a tenacity that shocks Eddie to his very core. But right now, Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. ~ Eddie, alone and confused, is navigating Christopher's extended stay in Texas, while also grappling with feelings he's been repressing for seven years. Buck, who misses Chris dearly, is struggling under Gerrard and his boyfriend's dismissive attitude. In the wreckage of their lives, they find each other.

I guess your mama didn't know the gift she got when she got you by disasterbuck/ @disasterbuck (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 5/? | 10K | Teen): "He has someone else he can go to," Eddie said automatically, Buck's smiling face flashing into his mind. "Your friend Buck doesn't count," she said dismissively, and Eddie felt his hackles rising defensively. "I'm talking about a partner, Eddie. Someone who will commit to being with you and Christopher for the rest of your lives." "Buck is committed," Eddie said before he could think about what he was saying. "He's not going anywhere." There was a pause on the other end of the line. "When you say committed…" she asked hesitantly, voice trailing off. - Tired of his mom's nagging, Eddie tells a lie that spirals wildly out of control.

Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 7/? | 44K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

& such by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (81K | Teen): prompts and spec fics and codas and all the works jumbled mumbled into one place.

Chapter 20: GAY EDDIE REAL (1K)

Podfic

🔥[podfic] a night in early october by half_bakedboy/ @half-bakedboy // fic by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-S5, Getting Together | 30-45min | Mature): Buck comes home from an extra shift, and Eddie makes him dinner.

Re-read

woke up the girl who looked just like you, i almost said your name by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz (S5, Out Eddie, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Or, five times Eddie dates a guy a little too similar to Buck, and one time he dates the real deal.

[flanaganfilm]

I heard "Wind Through the Keyhole" is your favorite Dark Tower novel. What makes it your favorite? It's my second favorite, after Wizard and Glass, and I was surprised most other fans didn't like it as much as I did. Although I did read in right after Wizard and Glass since I start reading after everything was released, maybe it would be a different experience coming to it after finishing everything else.

There's something about The Wind Through the Keyhole that just breaks me. I adore all the books, of course, and of the big seven, Wizard and Glass is also my favorite. But Keyhole is a fascinating coda, a beautiful reunion, and a devastating goodbye.

Because it came out after the others, there is a sense of homecoming that kicks in right away, as you find yourself reunited with these characters you love so much, who have yet to find their fates. The ka-tet is unbroken. It is that rare, beautiful, impossible thing that we all yearn for - a chance to be with those we've lost again, and to see them as we prefer to remember them. I started crying in the first chapter.

The story itself feels like a lullaby, a beautiful little epilogue that ties together all of the themes of the other books and distills them into their most pure, potent form. There are lines of dialogue and prose in this that pierce me, and encapsulate even the most elusive emotions from the journey of The Dark Tower. Here are just a few passages that tattooed themselves on my heart while reading:

--

“What if I fall?', Tim cried.

Maerlyn laughed. 'Sooner or later, we all do.”

--

“It was not fair, it was not fair, it was not fair. So cried his child's heart, and then his child's heart died a little. For that is also the way of the world.”

--

“Time is a keyhole, he thought as he looked up at the stars. Yes, I think so. We sometimes bend and peer through it. And the wind we feel on our cheeks when we do - the wind that blows through the keyhole - is the breath of all the living universe.” --

“In the end, the wind takes everything, doesn't it? And why not? Why other? If the sweetness of our lives did not depart, there would be no sweetness at all.”

-- And finally, my favorite quote from the book:

“The two most beautiful words in any language are: I forgive.” That's the thing about this book - it is full of forgiveness, and empathy, and looks back at the road behind us with older, wiser eyes. It deepens and somehow completes Roland, Eddie, Susannah, and Jake. The Dark Tower (book 7) gives us final mental images of them, and even admonishes us to "remember them well, like this," but I find myself remembering them in Keyhole more than anything, sitting at the fire, lost in a story. The final moments as they walk on, wading back into the raging river of the story I know so well and toward their inevitable fates, gives me a sense of loss, of love, and of things being right. Ka is a wheel, and I feel it turn twice in the series. At the very end of Book 7, for sure, but also here - I feel the wheel turn in Wind Through the Keyhole in a profound way, and find myself moved as I huddle with these characters on one small spoke of that wheel, reveling in the kind of stolen reunion we only dream of in life.

It's a thoughtful, mature, beautiful look back, and for me it somehow ties the whole enterprise together in a way I could never have expected. The Dark Tower isn't complete without this book, and in a lot of ways, this book reveals the soul of the journey more clearly than the others. Just speaking for myself, of course, and I imagine mileage may vary. But this one brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye, maybe because it carries all the other books with it.

[inawickedlittletown]

Something Good - 8x01 coda

Read on Ao3

-

“It was a bee-nado,” Evan said. “You should have seen it.” 

“Here’s what I don’t get,” Tommy said, “I make a perfectly good reference to literally any movie and you have no idea what I’m talking about and yet you somehow know about shark-nado?” 

“Shark what?” Evan asked with a laugh. 

Tommy should have actually just known better. Of course Evan had no idea about Shark-nado. 

“The bees were literally in a funnel, weren’t they?” he asked as he pulled into his driveway. 

Evan nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy.”

“And they’re still out there,” Tommy said. 

“Yeah,” Evan said. “And they’re angry. Kinda like Chris, I guess.” 

They had left Eddie’s house after Eddie insisted that he’d be alright on his own. That he didn’t need their help to take down the decorations or for the party to become some kind of pity party. Evan had tried to argue and yet in the end they had both realized that maybe Eddie did want to take a moment for himself. 

“He’s a teenager,” Tommy said. 

Evan nodded as they walked into Tommy’s house. “It’s just…it sucks.”

Tommy gave a nod. None of them had thought that Chris would still be in Texas after a whole three months had gone by, but he really was still mad. None of them could blame him for it either, though it probably didn’t help that his grandmother seemed to love having Chris with her. Was she even trying to encourage Chris to forgive his father? The whole thing was murky. 

“Like I told Eddie, he’s trying and when Chris comes around — and he will — he’ll know that the whole time Eddie was trying. That’s…it means something.” 

“Yeah,” Evan said. “It really does, doesn’t it?” 

They had talked about it a little. Evan at least did still have contact with his father even if it seemed to be minimal and mostly conducted over email. Still, Evan understood exactly what Tommy meant. Maybe not in the same way because their fathers were very different. It all came to how they could both agree how good of a father Eddie was in comparison. Not perfect, prone to mistakes, but still a good dad. Chris would come to that conclusion again one day. 

“I think I was hoping for something good to happen tonight,” Evan said as they headed towards the kitchen. 

“Hmm,” Tommy said, “that could still be arranged.” 

Evan laughed and let Tommy grab hold of his hips and pull him closer. He was never going to get enough of Evan. He leaned towards Evan and Evan met him in a kiss, their lips slanting together in what was becoming very familiar but not lacking in how amazing it was. Evan pressed himself even closer together and before Tommy knew it, his back was against a kitchen counter and Evan’s hands were under his shirt inching up slowly, torturously. 

It was a revelation, to know how eager Evan was, to know how much Tommy was wanted by him. He’d been more than a little cautious about how Evan would take to more than kissing, but any fears had been unwarranted. Evan threw himself right in with curiosity and enthusiasm that made up for the places where he lacked experience.

They made it, somehow, up the stairs and to Tommy’s room, clothes getting discarded as they went and then Evan crawled onto the bed, eyes blown wide and his lips parted enticingly as he looked at Tommy. 

“Want you,” Evan said. “Want to feel you.” 

And how could Tommy say no to that? 

[hippolotamus]

another installment of what I'm calling the cleopatra series. this time from Eddie's POV because I got in my Buddie feels. part 1 here 💙

late for the love of my life | 7x06 Coda | 912 words | G

“Hey, how was it?” Marisol wraps her arms around his waist, giving him a peck on the lips. 

Eddie barely suppresses the urge to flinch and turn away. Which is maybe a tad dramatic, except for the way it isn’t. Because the past 24 hours have held more than a few revelations. None of which Eddie is ready to share. 

Despite the layers of clothing between them, his skin tingles and crawls where she touches him. If he didn’t have years of experience being exposed to fluids, substances and people he didn’t want anywhere near him, he thinks he would have wrenched away from her by now. No, he definitely would have. But he’s a professional at hiding his personal reactions, both on and off the job. 

Yes, he’s made progress in therapy, but the instincts to hide himself, to put up walls and masks, are still easily activated. Handy for moments like now, when he can’t escape his girlfriend. Or when he has to smile big for the crowd and pretend the perpetual feelings for his best friend don’t exist when said best friend barrels back into the room all lovestruck and covered in soot from his boyfriend. 

“It was good. Really nice, actually.” That much is true. Because it was. Honestly, the whole hospital room chic was perfectly Maddie and Chim. 

“Nice?” She asks in a teasing tone, squeezing tighter and clinging to his torso like a koala. 

His breathing is acceptably even but the urge to peel her off, to tell her that she should probably go home because his heart rate is skyrocketing, his fingers and toes are tingling, and he’s beginning to feel claustrophobic is anything but. His built in panic mode suspects there isn’t enough Jell-o in the universe to undo this. Again, dramatic, but he thinks he’s within his rights to think so right now. 

“Yeah, I-” He pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezes his eyes shut and inhales as deeply as he can manage. “Y’know, I’m, uh, still feeling a little worse for wear from last night. I should-” He doesn’t even finish the sentence, just points vaguely in the direction of his bedroom. 

Marisol’s relaxed ‘welcome home’ look turns concerned as she furrows her brow and holds the back of her hand to his forehead. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stay? I should probably stay over in case you need–” 

“Really,” he interjects, backing out of her hold, “I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep it off, I think. You should go. Home. To your place.” Smooth, Diaz. “I mean, because I’ll probably be restless, y’know?”

“I can sleep on the cou-”

“No,” he says more forcefully than intended. He should be grateful she wants to stay and take care of him. He should. He is. But not the couch. Not… Buck’s bed. His place. Their place.

“Oh.” She takes a step back and he should probably feel worse about the way she looks so dejected. “I, um, I understand. Talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, talk tomorrow.” 

Tomorrow when I’ve had a chance to reset. When the twin alcohol and love hangovers have hopefully, finally died off. When I’m not seeing an endless mental projection reel of reminders like Or, y’know, you could have mine. Then why are you in hospital jail? Stay with me, Buck. Him choking on blood. You saved him. Abby. His fiancee is Abby. Showoff. My blood on him. Hey, Buck. You think you’re expendable. They’re all dead. I, uh, misunderstood the assignment. Three minutes and seventeen seconds. She sees me. It was a date. 

The front door clicks in the latch and he immediately turns the deadbolt, noting how his pulse drops to a debatably more normal range. He wants to settle on the couch, under the covers in his bed, both and neither all at the same time. In the end he migrates to the kitchen, which really shouldn’t surprise him. 

He runs his fingers over the backs of the chairs, circling around until he’s standing between the table and main counter. Am I one of the things that makes you sad? So now am I allowed to ask how you are? But you do eventually - you process it? 

Eddie turns toward the fridge, drawn to Shannon’s photo. He plucks it from under the magnet, running his thumb over the glossy print. 

“Can never quite get my timing down, can I?” He huffs out a wet chuckle. “God, I wish you were here right now. I could really use someone to talk to.” 

If it wasn’t after midnight he would probably drive himself to the cemetery to sit on the stone bench. To talk to someone that can’t talk back but would nonetheless tell him what an idiot he is. To unfairly water her grave with tears shed because he always thinks he has more time. You might have noticed I almost died. Again. And then I thought, this is it. This is the last day of my life. We’re all going to die alone. That’s what she said to me and Hen. 

Truthfully he’s not sure who he’s thinking of more — Shannon or Buck — as he slides to the floor, still clutching her picture, beginning to sob and shake as the words I love you so much flash like a neon reminder of his poor timing. Does it really matter? Because either way he’s missed his chance. 

But I guess it’s your mess now. 

Part 3 (Buck's POV)

[prouvaireafterdark]

Meow

In which Lestat calls Louis a kitten after seeing his baby fangs and Louis maybe needs to brush up on his French.

Canon compliant 1x02 coda

***

On his second evening as a vampire, Louis was slow to rise.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes sluggishly, the nightmares that had roused him fading as the scent of stale milk and singed flesh filled his nose and he remembered where and with whom he was. 

The revelation filled him with emotions too difficult to parse, so instead he focused on the physical—the smooth, hard muscle beneath his cheek and the gentle wanderings of Lestat’s fingertips against his back. 

They felt nice, he thought, until a nail brushed lightly over a ticklish spot along his spine. 

“Stop,” Louis yelped as he flinched involuntarily away from Lestat’s touch.

All it accomplished, however, was Louis pressing himself even closer to Lestat’s naked body, and he flushed as he realized that he was naked too. He remembered now how Lestat’s eyes had dragged down his body as he’d stripped himself of his soiled clothing and lowered himself into the coffin beside him. 

Well, on top of him, really. Lestat’s coffin was roomy, but there wasn’t so much space that they could lie shoulder to shoulder. He’d thought being enclosed in such a tight space would be unbearable, but with Lestat’s heart beating steadily beneath his ear, he found it more cozy than claustrophobic.

Read the rest on AO3!

[gatheringbones]

robert f. reid-pharr, from living as a lesbian, from Sister & Brother: Lesbians and Gay Men Write About Their Lives Together, 1994

["In 1985 Barbara Smith came like a fresh wind into Chapel Hill. She brought with her a vision of home unlike anything I ever had imagined. It was then that I began the process of being a lesbian. It is only recently that I began to understand lesbianism as a state of being that few of us ever achieve. To become lesbian one has to first be committed to the process of constantly becoming, of creatively refashioning ones humanity as a matter of course.

Coda

By becoming a lesbian, I have done nothing more nor less than become myself.

I had expected to end this piece with these words, forcing all of us, myself included, to reevaluate what it means to be labeled lesbian, gay, straight, bi, transgendered, asexual. And yet, this is not enough. For even as I recognize the difficulty of giving definition and meaning to our various identities, I also realize that as I struggle to lay claim to my lesbianism I am always confronted with the reality of my own masculinity, this strange and complex identity that I continue to have difficulty recognizing as privilege.

It was a Friday afternoon in September when I had my first bathhouse experience. I'm not sure what I expected, or wanted. In truth, I was compelled more than anything else by Samuel Delany's description in The Motion of Light in Water of his visit to the St. Mark's Baths in the early sixties. I thought that it would be exciting, that perhaps within this outlaws' territory I could throw off the stifling fears and anxieties that shape and constrain our lives, sexual and otherwise. I even felt that, given the name of the enterprise I was about to visit— "baths"— there had to be something intrinsically cleansing and healing about it.

Now I find myself asking if in the bathhouse— the most sacred of male enclaves, where my masculine body and affected macho style increase my worth in the sexual economy— I am still lesbian. Is it lesbianism that spills out of the end of my cock as bald-headed men with grizzled beards and homemade tattoos slap my buttocks and laugh triumphantly? Is it lesbianism that allows me to walk these difficult streets alone, afraid only that I will not be seen, accosted, "forced" into sexual adventure?

All my bravado, my will to adventure is caught up, strangely enough, with the great confidence I have gained from "The Lesbian." And yet, this confidence, this awareness of my own body, of my own independence, takes me to places where she dares not go. Perhaps then I am not a lesbian at all, but rather like a drag queen, by day a more or less effeminate, woman-loving gay man, by night a pussy, a buck, the despoiler of young men recently arrived from the provinces and the careful tutelage of their loving mothers. What I know for certain is that this self, this lesbian-identified gay man, is in constant flux. I live like a lesbian, as a lesbian, because I know no better way of life. Still, I live beyond her, in a province that continues to be reserved exclusively for men, all the while reaping the many fruits of sexual apartheid.

Me, I want to escape…. this dirty world, this dirty body. I never wish to make love again with anything more than the body.

Perhaps in my next life I will be done with these questions of identity altogether, will cherish fully the body that I am given, begin to see it neither as burden or weapon, but only as the vessel of my existence. Perhaps in my next life I will have given up finally this constant struggle to explain who I am not— not woman, not white, not straight, not you— and start to revel in the limitless of my boundaries. Perhaps each one of us will recapture that which has been lost, start again to accept and acknowledge the profound ambiguity and uncertainty of this existence. It is then and only then that we will find home.

In 1985 Barbara Smith came like a fresh wind into Chapel Hill."]

[plums-and-pennies]

Map

I want to happen upon advice,

like a discovered

strawberry patch,

like an encounter with revelation.

Don’t fix my problems.

Wait until I am weeping

to hold me,

except don’t ever

let me go either.

Release

is its own agony,

a deep sea fish

thrust to the surface

to unravel flesh in too thin waters.

Abide.

My heart is a loaf of bread.

Commit.

Bear witness

to every crack on my surface as

I rise in the heat.

Beak me open

any time you like but

know my crannies first.

I am the horizon itself,

the border and the infinite,

prelude to the cosmos and

coda to the earth.

Do not capture but

BeHold me.

[alarici]

For Meronia ballet AU, maybe a back stage moment or something? As a prompt I mean (: Love Reading your stuff!!

content: injury, word count: approx 500

It's the middle of dress rehearsal. Near's demi-solo is almost finished. She's collapsed in some soloist man's arms, not a finger out of place, languishing in the scattered applause. Catching her breath for the coda. Mello watchers her from the wings, as she has for seven years and counting. She's still captivated, as is everyone else.

The final chord drifts out of the orchestra pit, and then the string section begins again--and Near is alive, again. Most of the coda is a petite allegro. Small jumps, precise, exhausting. Even if Near's perfect, this is one thing that has never been her specialty. Where Mello's athleticism lends to her explosive jumps, her dynamism; Near's technique is impeccable, but Mello can pick out every moment here Near could jump higher, could move faster, could do more, more, more. Yet it's undeniably good. And Mello is lost in the sight. Near's eternal gentle smile--a delicate interpretation of the role. It fits.

Still riding off of the high of them both being promoted to the corps de ballet--no longer under threat of being a probationary apprentice (dancing every night, dead on their feet, the treat of 'there's only room for one of you here' looming in the spring, than then a revelation: we want you both, don't ruin it), Mello isn't fixated in her anger. They're playing the same part--corps in one cast, soloist in the other. Maybe, for this ballet at least, their opposite interpretations can coexist, and Mello will practice her breathing exercises, and they will keep a tally of who prefers whose version of the part. The ballet mistress likes you. The critic liked me.

The worst is yet to come, someone pulls at her, a prickle in her spine.

Mello bites her lip as the end of the coda draws near. It's a nerve-wracking sequence to perform. Mello's dress rehearsal was earlier that day, and she'd scrapped by with a few, small, inexcusable errors in the exact same routine.

The fantasy of a moment of peace, a truce, an intermission of repose rips ugly four counts before the end of the sequence. Mello hears it and can't look away as Near crumples to the stage, barely catching herself with her arms out in front of her.

Mello's seen multiple bad landings. Jumping is always a gamble with god. A gamble they make hundreds of times every day. Near's misfortune finds her limping, instead of running of the stage, one more act, forty minutes, in the dress rehearsal left to go. In the opposite wing, she looks ready to run back for the mid-show bow.

Mello doesn't think. She runs. The vast area behind the stage narrows to the opposite stage door. Mello sees her, sitting standing on one leg in the corner. It looks bad.

She takes the razor out of its place in her character shoes, wrapped in cardboard and thin cloth, sitting against the knuckle of her big toe--a trinket for luck--and feels Near's ribbons tearing under the blade, Near panting, weak arms protesting at Mello's elbow. It's the only way Mello will know Near won't go and try to dance on a broken foot--you can't dance without your ribbons. It's over.

"You cut me," Near says. A grimace of pain, well hidden. A small prick of blood expands on her white tights from where the ribbons gave.

"You're not going back out there." Mello can't look at her, can only stare at her swollen foot, limp on the ground.

"Now, I'm not." Mello would appreciate some anger. Instead, all she sees is nothing. Grief? Leave it to Near to start caring now, of all times.

-

It'll take Near five year to thank her for it. When they learn that the artistic director would have been happy to see Near ruin herself, her shattered sesamoid, that very night.

[house-of-mirrors]

If they ever made another ES centering around Wines what do you think it should be about

My idea got way more complex than an ES but hey base game story better XD

I want to be in a situation with that bat where we're facing a problem it could have easily resolved with the snap of a finger in a past life, but as it is now, it's powerless to fix this alone and is forced to ask the player for help. It has to cope with the fact it's no longer a king. The player too is forced to rely on someone more powerful than they to fix this problem, and helps expecting nothing in return because Wines never keeps promises, but maybe they're surprised at the end.

Maybe the situation involves an unknown disturbance in Parabola that has a silly hook like, I dunno, souring the quality of station viii ingredients for brewing impossible wine. The player has more impetus to care if they happen to walk past the Royal Beth in the intro and notice something different about the fountain that's making guests too sober and boring. Like an infected cholera pump for that time period homage but with spooky dream magic.

We start with a red herring from the fingerkings and/or the fire sermon dreams, but then things take a hard left into the light and chessboard or a brand new, never-before-seen location like the dreams of the skies and we get high wilderness lore and interference to add insult to injury for Wines. Situation is a cosmic horror leak into the neath, a glimpse of something larger, like the holes we're seeing that lead to the Stacks. Magic law pollution that seeps into water through reflections in puddles and the zee, or something. You gotta work together to fix it by embracing What Is instead of What Was and What Should Have Been. Both the player and Wines affected by the losses of the past and you have to escape together and shut off the source of the interloping power.

Of course there would be tie-ins for having A Word, Broken, and the dream spouse, and also if you'd done the cloak ending of nemesis (in which Wines is even less happy about having to ask you for help). Would additionally be cool if there were tie-ins if you've done other stories it appears in like Totentanz, Fading to a Coda, and the Empress' Shadow. In the aftermath it would be cool to have a quality tie-in for The Stacks.

I want to see a rare moment of vulnerability and insight into how it thinks. I want a moment where it has to step in to protect the player from the enemy of the week. We get to see it being scary and monstrous with claws and wings and Size. Can Mr Wines get better? No and it hasn't learned a single thing in millennia but it CAN have its vibe ruined by bonding with a human.

I want a new quality or affiliation after experiencing this situation together, like A Nod from Mr Hearts or Lowell's Locks and Cages. "Invited to the Private Revels of Mr Wines." Affiliation. +5 Persuasive, +1 Glasswork, increases Scandal build-up. Adds a card to your deck with a luck check for tasting new experimental drinks, or an option to reduce nightmares by attending on a music night.

And I want official art as long as it keeps the canon blue eyes!

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

David Rowe

* * * *

We have been warned.

October 24, 2024

Robert B. Hubbell

Over the last several weeks, dozens of senior advisers to former president Trump have warned about his fascist and dictatorial tendencies in his first term. More urgently, they have warned that those tendencies will be unleashed in a second Trump term in which he will have a “get out of jail free card” from the Supreme Court. Recent revelations from Trump's chief of staff John Kelly remind us that Trump admires “Hitler and his generals.”

See The Atlantic, Trump: ‘I Need the Kind of Generals That Hitler Had’. (“I need the kind of generals that Hitler had. People who were totally loyal to him, that follow orders.”)

Trump surely knows that “following orders” included the genocide of Jews and a world war against the nations of Europe. His praise for “Hitler and his generals” should trouble every American regardless of party.

In a bracing admission, John Kelly described his former boss as “a fascist.” Kelly’s acknowledgment echoes the statement by former Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley that “Trump is fascist to the core.”

On Wednesday, Kamala Harris took the unusual step of speaking from the steps of the Vice President's residence (the Naval Observatory) to formally condemn Trump's fascist agenda. See NYTimes: Harris seizes on former Trump aide’s warning that he fits the ‘fascist’ label.

Kamala Harris’s critique of Trump began and ended with Trump's own words, i.e., his repeated description of fellow Americans as “the enemy within”—a classic formulation of fascist ideology.

In her remarks, Vice President Harris said,

Donald Trump is increasingly unhinged and unstable, and in a second term, people like John Kelly would not be there to be the guardrails against his propensities and his actions. Those who once tried to stop him from pursuing his worst impulses would no longer be there, and no longer be there to rein him in. The bottom line is this: We know what Donald Trump wants. He wants unchecked power. The question in 13 days will be: What do the American people want?

Harris also responded to Kelly’s comment that Trump said that Adolf Hitler “did some good things.”

Harris said,

It is deeply troubling and incredibly dangerous that Donald Trump would invoke Adolf Hitler. The man who is responsible for the deaths of 6 million Jews and hundreds of thousands of Americans. All of this is further evidence for the American people of who Donald Trump really is.

Kamala Harris is speaking for every American who values democracy, the Constitution, and the rule of law. She intends to keep it up. According to reports, she plans to give a speech on the Ellipse on the National Mall—the place where Trump summoned his mob of insurrectionists to assault the Capitol. See CNN, Harris to deliver closing argument speech on Ellipse, site of Trump’s January 6 rally, as she issues warnings over his fitness for office.

We have been warned. But the warnings are merely reminders of events we witnessed firsthand. Still, the fresh warnings are good. For too long, the media treated Trump as a legitimate candidate for the presidency. He is not. The election is not a horse race. His policies are tales told by an idiot, signifying nothing--but have been treated by the major media as though they are legitimate policies worthy of analysis by pundits and surveys by pollsters.

Enough. Trump is a fascist. He sees half the American people as his enemies. He believes he has been freed of constitutional and legal restraints by the Supreme Court to pursue an agenda of vengeance, retribution, and profiteering.

We have been warned. Let’s ensure that everyone hears and heeds that warning.

Coda to “We have been warned.”

Despite the explicit warnings over the last four years (and prior), Republican politicians have consistently excused, dismissed, and amplified Trump's fascist rhetoric. On Wednesday, New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu dismissed Trump's praise for Hitler’s generals as a fact that is “baked in” to the election results. See Mediate, Chris Sununu Sticking With Trump After Kelly's Hitler Reveal.

Sununu said,

So, look, we’ve heard a lot of extreme things about Donald Trump from Donald Trump. It’s kind of par for the course. It’s really unfortunately, with with a guy like that, it’s kind of baked into the vote at this point.

In other words, to Sununu, the only thing that matters is whether Trump is winning the horse race. Sununu has ignored the moral dimension of supporting a fascist—and has forever tied his reputation to a man who admires Hitler and his generals. Chris Sununu should be ashamed of himself every day for the rest of his life. He had a good gig as a nepo-baby governor based on his father’s accomplishments; he has tarnished his entire family’s reputation by being a shill for a fascist.

To similar effect are the actions of the owner of the Los Angeles Times, billionaire Patrick Soon-Shiong. The LA Times Editorial Board just announced that it would not be endorsing a presidential candidate. On Wednesday, the head of the LA Times Editorial Board resigned in protest, saying that the Board was prepared to endorse Kamala Harris, but Patrick Soon-Shiong ordered the Board to “compare and contrast” the accomplishments of Trump and Harris in a side-by-side format.

Soon-Shiong posted the following statement,

With this clear and non-partisan information side-by-side, our readers could decide who would be worthy of being President for the next four years.

Soon-Shiong’s proposed format of “comparing and contrasting” the “accomplishments” of Trump and Harris is not an endorsement, as the head of the editorial board noted in her resignation statement. See NYTimes, L.A. Times Editorial Chief Quits After Owner Blocks Harris Endorsement. (Behind a paywall.)

Soon-Shiong is using his wealth and ownership of the LA Times to run cover for the fascist policies of Donald Trump. Soon-Shiong has had a brilliant and wildly successful career that he created from scratch as a first-generation immigrant. His legacy may be facilitating a second Trump term that will attack the very immigration policies that welcomed him with open arms.

If Donald Trump wins, it will be in large part because wealthy business leaders (like Soon-Shiong) and spineless politicians like Chris Sununu put their political and monetary fortunes ahead of the democracy that allowed them to succeed. Shame, shame, shame!

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

[whumpappreciation]

Not sure if this has been done before. My search couldn't find any so here I go:

Whumplist for Arthur Lester from Malevolent (podcast) - SPOILERS

Part 1 - finds partner dead, panic, possessed by creature, blind

Part 2 - mind troubled after reading book, 28:13 attacked, hand taken control of, hunted, crashed with car

Part 3 - chased, attacked, stairs collapse

Part 4 - chased, attacked, injured, bleeding

Part 5 - wakes up in mental institute, then in hospital

Part 7 - panic

Part 8 - claustrophobia, arrested

Part 9 - vomiting, shot twice in the gut, once in the chest

Part 11 - attacked

Part 12 - attacked, bitten, panic, bleeding, field medicine, strapped to table

Part 13 - bites off the tip of his own pinky, cauterise the wound, woozy, hand being "repaired"

Part 14 - exhausted

Part 15 - nightmare, crying, storm, injured eye, bleeding, attacked, injured finger tips, enthralled by voice

Part 16 - sad memories, falls down, panic

Part 17 - hunted, hurt leg, hurt arm, dislocated shoulder, field medicine, sad memories

Part 18 - hears a voice, madness, Arthur and John fight each other, captured

Part 19 - starved, emotional, crying, grieving

Part 20 - dizzy, shocked, panic, crying, cut, bones broken, stabs himself

Coda - badly hurt, treats his wounds himself

Part 21 - attacked, drunk, feeling sick

Part 22 - hung over, attacked, panic, hunted, injured leg

Part 23 - stiff leg, flashbacks, crying, part of his ear torn off, hit

Part 24 - injured, claustrophobia, emotional

Part 25 - vomits

Part 26 - desperate, tries to kill Uncle, injured, bleeding badly, collapses, field surgery, seems suicidal, kills Uncle, looses it, crying

Part 27 - panic, hunted, pierced through stomach, bleeding badly, creature attached to his head, cut free, head wound, feels cold, difficulty speaking, unconscious

Part 28 - field surgery, wakes up, weak from blood loss, coughing, panic, chased, connected to creature, emotional

Part 29 - scar on neck, chased, threatened, choked, fights, lip bleeding, spitting blood

Part 30 - almost run over, dreams, frightened

Part 31 - confused, panic, pissed off, hearing voices, looses it, pulled into water, drowning, crying, angry, grieving, crying, attacked, tied up, stabbed in stomach, disembowled, wakes up, paralized by fear

Part 32 - waking up, headache, confused, exhausted, feeling guilty

Part 33 - worried, worried about John, feels guilty, flustered, argues with Daniel, panic, hunted

Part 34 - panic, hunted, shot in shoulder, bleeding, tight up, hit, panicked, desperately shouting

Part 35 - nightmare, awoken suddenly, panicked, fights to get free, bloody wrist, blames himself, thinks of suicide, panic, deal with Scratch, almost hit by car, afraid, apologetic, sniffles, desperate, angry,

Part 36 - angry, sad, panicked, John is confused, angry Arthur, angry John, talking about Faroe

Part 37 - angry John, scared Arthur, panicked Arthur, Arthur has fallen through the stairs, is sorry, scared

Part 38 - worried John, tired Arthur, angry John, Arthur slips (?), both argue, panicked, attacked, fight, worried, relieved

Part 39 - regret, confesses, worried, irritated with John, attacks Ward violently, worried about John, shocked by revelations

Part 40 - shocked, worried about John, panic, angry, attacked, attacks, mutilates, worried about John, panicked, tries saving Noel, John fights Yellow, Noel attacked, Arthur shoots at and chases Larson, John lied, people die, people vanish

Intermezzo - panic, heavy breathing, shock

Part 41 - argument, betrayal, disgust, finger pricked, fall from ladder, bleeding, in pain, splinter protruding from leg, field medicine, struggeling, vomits, fear, desperate

Part 42 - fear, panic, gets attacked, bitten in shoulder, bitten hand, bandaged, panic, shock, panic, running, impaled, bleeding

Part 43 - voices, impaled, bleeding, unconscious, kept alive, stabbed, killed, belly cut open, sewn up, revived, screaming

Part 44 - screaming, fainting, waking up, in pain, restless, worried, emotional, dizzy, tangled, screaming, almost drowning, in pain, broken stitches, stitches added, remembering

Part 45 - exhausted, sad, defensive, angry, emotional, crying, scared, emotional

Part 46 - woken from a dream, scared, emotional John, hearing noises, seeing lights, confused, scared, dizzy, hyper, sad, confused, afraid, panic, vomits

Part 47 - coughing, not feeling well, asked to rest, light-headed, fine physically, worried because he gave in to Horic, slammed into ditch, coughing, more coughing, sick

TBC

Poor baby. 😱😭

[angelthefirst1]

2017 eclipse

2017, the year of the first eclipse, and the year Leah and Daryl were looking at this eclipse...

Emily was in France.

In Summer ☀️ (The book of Carol) *coughs The Book of Revelation = Revelation or revealing of Jesus Christ the messiah/cure, and it's about the end times or Coda.

Apocalypse definition is the complete final destruction of the world, as described in the biblical book of Revelation.

2023, this came out...

👆 2023, was the year another eclipse made the A line. "A" 416 is when Beth puts the sherrifs hat on.

2024 is the eclipse that makes an X or crossing on which you ✝️ and it completes the A.

Leah and Isabelle are shadows of Beth, not completely revealed/unveiled.

I'm positive this yellow Nissan car also travels over a crossing ✝️ at the end of the episode, but I don't have a picture of that right now.

The cure is in this car...represented by Beth. And now, in 2024, Emily is in France when the A is about to be completed 🇫🇷 (beginning)

The X A eclipse happens on Nissan 1, the hebrew New Year.

Jesus was a hebrew, the A = Alpha (beginning) the X = Tav, which is Hebrew for end.

Jesus said in Revelation 22.13-14

I am the beginning and end.

The cure to eternal death can be found in his death and resurrection ✝️

And we celebrate that resurrection this Sunday.

Which means we should be, by extension be celebrating Beth's resurrection and her putting on the A sherrifs hat.

The signs really are all there for her return.

I'm also sure Emily looks in the tags at our theories, I wrote this post back on the 4th April 2021, in which i talked about resurrection Sunday, the crossover of FTW dead with the main show, Morgan as Beth, and Maddison being alive - many similar things to what is happening now.

And 3 days later, she posted this...

A hint to the yellow and black car and radio = Sirius/star/messanger/Angel 😇

The Eiffel Tower makes a very large A, and it's a radio tower.

🎶✝️♾️✝️🎶

[destieltaggedfic]

Do you have any coming out fics?

I have a post here which is fics about Cas coming out and while I still had some others where Cas came out, I went looking for a couple with Dean too.

Secrets - peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim)   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe.  Sam can tell Dean is nervous about telling him something so they play a game where they tell each other secrets and it doesn’t take long for the truth (and Dean) to come out.

Word Count: 2k                                 Non-Graphic Sex

Home is Where You Are: Coda to 12x12 - Piper_Halliwell1979   Ao3

Set S12.  To stop Dean trying to set him up with the waitress Cas comes out.  So Dean starts giving him tips about hitting on guys before they get back to business.  In the aftermath of the Ramiel encounter they talk it out.

Word Count: 2k                                 Graphic Sexual Acts

Right Up Over the Wire - liadan14   Ao3

Set S5.  When Sam walks in on Dean and Cas he is shocked and angry, because he thought Dean was homophobic.  Dean explains to Cas why Sam probably thought that due to some of his past actions when it came to guys.  He then explains himself to Sam.

Word Count: 7k                                 Non-Graphic Sex

12x10 Coda: Worth the Wait - Piper_Halliwell1979   Ao3

Set S12.  After the revelation that Cas has had female vessels, he and Dean have a discussion about his gender and in the process comes out.  The combination of the two allows Dean to admit that he loves Cas too but needs time to come to terms with his male vessel.

Word Count: 4k                                 Graphic Sexual Acts        

it's in the wanting – fountainfeatherwind   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe.  At breakfast one morning Cas casually comes out, sending Dean into a head spin for the next few days, until he says something to Cas that could be construed as flirting.

Word Count: 1k                                 No Sex

All Together Now – exalteddean   Ao3

Set S6 AU.  When Cas turns up injured and dying, Dean convinces him to try and survive, but for that he needs a temporary vessel and then Cas shares something about Dean that he probably shouldn't have

Word Count: 3k                                 Graphic Sexual Acts

[mrs-gauche]

Hi! Any thoughts on the 'hidden track' at the end of the Bonus DLC Tracks for the new Dragon Age Vinyl set? "D'Read Koda" can be interpreted so many ways but 'dread bear'? Coda, the musical notation? (Do you suppose there's any connection to the bear and maiden graffiti art we see several places in Inquisition [or any connection between that mural and the one from The Missing {moon atop the bear and halla horns on the maiden?}])

Hi! Thanks for the ask! :D And yeah, I've been super curious about this as well! (And also the pre-sale for the vinyl now starting at the same day that the final volume of The Missing is coming out, May 10th 👀 but ALSO everything about the cover, like the GOLDEN CITY (omg???), the enormous DRAGON (Mythal???), the vines/tree branches (like Mythal's vallaslin/visions of her conquering in Trespasser??), the ECLIPSE in the background (according to Dalish mythology Mythal "created" the moon/"An Eclipse as Fen'Harel stirred"??), the summit/mountain beneath it (!!) and that single hooded person (with a staff resembling the headpiece of one of the two figures in the 2020 teaser mural/symbols in the new cinematic)?? The potential LORE revelations on this thing are absolutely bonkers, but I digress! 😂)

Anyway! I actually thought something similar when I first saw that mysterious hidden track name, that it has to be some kind of anagram or wordplay, given how much BioWare LOVES to do those and also with the musical term "coda" being spelled with a "k" for some reason, but what stood out to me especially was the random apostrophe that's in there, since the devs are also known for their (internal) "disputes" about the extensive use of apostrophes in DA for the elven language and names. lol

So to me the odd spelling plus the random apostrophe points more to it being an anagram for a specific elven term, but I have yet to decipher what it could be. 🤔

My second thought was if this "hidden track" could actually just be the final part in the "extended version" of the Lost Elf theme (starting at about 10:13), but then I looked up the game's files and noticed that this specific tune actually plays (though only once) when you first get to the Darvaarad and the full piece is about 2:40 minutes long (the hidden track being only 1:08), leading me to think this is probably what's titled "Qunari Atmosphere" on the tracklist. And after going through all the Trespasser music files I could find, there was nothing hinting at something like "D'Read Koda" either. :/

But you're right, "Koda" is also a term in the Dakota language meaning "friend/ally" or "little bear", but I'm completely at a loss as to what that could refer to. For all we know, it could be a reference to frigging Storvacker. 😂

As for your second question though, since you brought up "The Bear and the Maiden" painting/mural in connection to the mural in volume 3 of The Missing, there are actually a few other interesting aspects to this that I've been thinking about, but before I start rambling get to that point, let me just put the rest under a cut so people don't get spammed with an exhaustingly long text post. lol

First off, for reference, this is the painting we're talking about, featured in various places throughout DAI!

People have made quite a few speculations about this imagery over the years. For one, given that it is not exclusively found in elven ruins and filed under "Fereldan art" in the game's files, some people assume it could depict an old legend of the Alamarri. Others have suggested that it's actually just a little easter egg in reference to the "The Bear and the Fair Maiden" song in ASOIAF. lol

But by far the most popular take on this, is that this is depicting the elven gods Dirthamen and Ghilan'nain. Based on Ghilan'nain's sacred animal being the halla and the lady with her all white appearance and her antlers kinda resembling one as well. And Dirthamen's sacred animal being a bear (among others, I think). Which would pose the question though, why these two are portrayed in such a way, when there's nothing in the lore that could give us an explanation?

To me, it almost looks like the maiden is trying to calm the bear down/keep him in check, who has gone out of control and is now turning into a wild beast (that can apparently also breath fire? lol). With what we know of Ghilan'nain now, it's definitely possible that her horrifying experiments and creation of all kinds of freaky creatures might have inspired such imagery.

So, while I can see how you could draw a parallel to the mural in volume 3 with the way they're positioned/embrace each other, I don't know what else to derive from this, other than that it would point to the bottom "red one" being Ghilan'nain and the "green one" being Andruil and not the other way around, or that Andruil was maybe able to shapeshift into a bear? lol But if we're going with my assumption that the bear is losing control over itself, maybe it could refer to the stories of Andruil succumbing to madness from hunting the Forgotten Ones in the Void. As opposed to the mural in the comic, where they seem to be rather peacefully in love (to me at least).

But while we're at it, let us go back to Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen's potential connection real quick (because I've been thinking about it 😶)! What's interesting to me, is that these two have actually been mentioned together in the lore, too, looking at this ancient elven writing for example that is only revealed to you when using Veilfire at the Temple of Mythal:

"His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine.The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him."

"For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades."

So there we have the two being involved in what appears to be a judgement on someone serving under Dirthamen, because of Ghilan'nain's actions. While we don't know how much of this actually happened, it definitely makes you wonder about their intentions here. Why would Ghil do this? And why specifically to someone serving under Dirthamen? What was the outcome? And what does this tell us about their relationship? (And now that I think about it, what if this sinner was actually the bear in the mural? lol)

As for the sinner himself. Now, I don't know about you, but when I reread this codex again after several playthroughs, particularly the “shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes” at the end, I thought “Wait. That kinda reminds me of something......”

Look, I know it doesn't appear that way when looking at my blog for like five minutes, but I certainly don't think that every single codex entry on elven myths should be automatically assumed to be about Solas. 😂 That being said, I can't help but feel like there's a connection to be made when looking at this other ancient inscription, that can be found in the final chamber of the Solasan Temple:

Faintly carved into the stone is a figure bound in chains. Two other figures have turned their gaze from the central image.

The script below the image is ancient, though Solas is able to provide a partial translation:

Pride in our accomplishments and in our hearts. That same pride became (a word meaning corrupted or altered) within him, he sought to claim (indecipherable), cast from favor and so he was bound.

Hidden from mortal eyes, death lies within.

To me, this text always seemed to perfectly match up with the ancient writing in Mythal's temple. A person being judged for claiming (godhood?)/daring to fly in the shape of the divine (a dragon?), put in chains and "bound" as punishment (by Elgar'nan?). And again, there are two figures involved. If the events of these writings do connect, was this "sinner" the one belonging to Dirthamen, taking wings by the urging of Ghilan'nain and them now silently accepting Elgar'nan's judgement, making those two the "figures turning their gaze"?

The thing is, if I'm presented with an ancient elven text about someone's PRIDE being corrupted in a place called SOLASAN temple, how in the world am I NOT supposed to draw an immediate connection to Solas here? 😂 I'm not saying that the sinner in this story had to be him per se, but if the age-old theory about Solas having been a spirit of Wisdom once who somehow turned into Pride is true, then there's still the question of how or why exactly this corruption occurred? And, if anything, the story of this sinner would provide at least one possibility for what happened to someone who had been corrupted in ancient times.

"Cast from favor and so he was bound."

If Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are actually about Solas (and Mythal?), then it's safe to say that Solas was himself bound ("He left a scar when he burned her off his face"), which does make SO much sense, considering that he values free will above everything, his furious reaction to the Well of Sorrows is SO telling, oh and also, he lead a motherflippin Slave Rebellion. 😂

But if we're looking for further potential connections between Dirthamen, Ghilan'nain and Solas... Well, Dirthamen is not only called the Keeper of Secrets, but is also always associated with sharing wisdom, knowledge and giving counsel to those in need. His symbols also include two ravens. Wolf and raven being known for pretty cool 80s synthwave music having a special bond in many real life myths and legends.

And Ghilan'nain is the only elven god we know of who was a "huntress of the People" before she ascended to become the youngest of the elven pantheon (possibly because of her relationship with Andruil or her ability to "create" things). As far as we know, Solas was also one of the People before he "became" Fen'Harel. So they were very much alike in that sense.

There's also the tale in which Fen'Harel gets captured by Andruil, because he had angered her by “hunting the halla without her blessing”. Some people have taken this to mean that Solas made a move on Ghilan'nain or that they had something going, so naturally, given that Andruil and Ghilan'nain are believed to have also been lovers, she was not very amused about that. lol (Which would make the rest of the story even funnier, where Andruil declared to “punish” him by making him “serve in her bed for a year and a day to pay her back”. lmao)

Which brings us finally back to the mural in The Missing volume 3, that could depict Andruil and Ghilan'nain embracing each other, perhaps even romantically (btw, if you want to know why I think so, check out my post on volume 3. :D).

I kinda joked about it at first, but if we assume that this mural was actually made by Solas as well, then you do have to wonder why he would even choose to paint such an intimate moment between Ghilan'nain and Andruil, people he arguably despises? Though it'll be interesting to learn what their relationship was like before his rebellion and Mythal's murder. I mean, who knows, maybe the before-mentioned tale actually happened and all three of them made out afterwards (willingly or not). 😂 (I mean, we're still talking about immortal beings here, so what else are they gonna do all day? lol) Or maybe Solas was just the Evanuris' personal portrait/mural painter at one point. lol

Anyway, to conclude, all of this is partially why I assumed for the longest time, that the two figures seen in the 2020 teaser mural could be Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen (also the fact that Dirthamen's vallaslin matched up perfectly with the silhouette of the right figure and obviously everything about Ghilan'nain and her horrifying experiments in Tevinter Nights).

...but with everything we've learned since then, I'm now actually leaning more towards it being Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan (if you want to know why, I highly recommend watching this fantastic analysis!).

The only thing that still kinda irks me with this, is the fact that the only elven god that's known for wielding a spear like this is actually Andruil.

However, it is super suspicious to me how the "goddess" seen in this concept art seems to break out of what looks like huge ocean waves and how this "grey sludge stuff" from Ghil's ancient "pools" in Tevinter Nights was described to have "smelled like the ocean" AND the mention of (capital P) Pride in elven myths having "stopped Ghilan'nain's hand when she was about to destroy her creatures of the deep sea". 👀👀 (Also, is it just me or does the figure in the 2020 mural look like she's having algae hanging down her headpiece? Not to mention the tentacles. lol) So there's that.

Also, and I know this is the silliest reason, but I don't know if BioWare would expect new or casual players to keep up with all these long "complicated" elven names, since "Ghilan'nain" and "Elgar'nan" do sound kinda similar and people might get them mixed up. lmao So having Elgar'nan and Andruil might be a bit more distinguishable, just for the sake of making it a little easier for new players lol (I mean, they have changed names before to avoid this problem, like when the Tevinter city "Qarinus" was turned into "Ventus" because it sounded too similar to "Qunari", I think? 😂).

I don't know if any of this actually answered your question, I feel like I got carried away by like a mile. 😂 I don't know how I got from "D'Read Koda" on the vinyl to tentacles, but here we are. 😂 Those are my thoughts on.... a lot of stuff. lol

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h update: rest of season three!!

i watched "aid station" and transcended to another realm

i watched it three times and will watch it many more i am SURE

the adventure! the war up close! hardship-earned respect and affection!!!!!

"never let it be said that i didn't do the least i could do" i need that in live laugh love font on my wall

this episode reminded me a few times that oh right, hot lips is the only one of the main cast who signed up and trained for the army on purpose

(and father mulcahey i suppose?)

anyway. long story short. if they had actually shown hot lips changing that tire i would never recover

"love and marriage" - hooray for kwang getting a personality and backstory, and hawkeye and trapper trying to make amends for frank

absolutely bananas that the officers hear a fight happening outside with a shot fired and collectively ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and keep playing. henry you are in charge. someone could be dead

"big mac" - i loved the opening in the o.r.! sometimes it gets a little mean-spirited in there, but this is a light-hearted day at the office where everyone in the room gets to laugh out loud as frank walks right in the teeth of it for literally no reason

i am enjoying the ongoing bit of hawkeye or trapper saying hello to frank and him responding to an insult they haven't said

hot lips's little "frank, they'll kill you." she's not even trying to defend him. she has given up against the overwhelming tide

the casual revelation in "payday" that henry has an open question in his mind about whether or not he's radar's father is a late-breaking reveal i'm gonna think about for a while

colonel flagg. hmm. his first episode was pretty funny because of the spy vs spy thing, but spy vs self was a dud

and then! "abyssinia, henry"!!!! 😢

my gratitude to the anonymous benefactor who hooked me up with a digital copy of this episode, since the dvd cut out before the last scene. which as it turns out!!! was important.

for television in general i assume

not to reveal myself too much as an uncultured hack... but i will confess my first reaction was "well, that was unnecessary"

in my defense!! i'm watching it in 2024, when a character death happening in an off-screen coda would really seem like a showrunner slamming the door behind a departing actor to make sure they couldn't come back no matter what change.org petition the fans cooked up on twitter, you know?

BUT. placing myself back in time. where this is happening partly as a commentary on another war, i get it!! unnecessary death is the point!! it's a tragedy people will have to sit with for months while the show is on hiatus!

HE NEVER MET HIS BABYYYYY (who they clearly forgot about, or they probably would have reminded us in the episode itself just to drive that punch home)

anyway, i have really never seen such a lovingly crafted goodbye episode for a character 💕

somebody PLEASE give radar a hug!!!!!! once per episode for the rest of the show!!!!

i mean sure henry DIED which obviously sucks for him and his variable number of children, but here radar loses his surrogate dad and gets frank in exchange. i mean tell me who suffered more

anyway!!!! in conclusion, season three was so good and funny and will be a tough act to follow!

my final awards for season three 🏆 best drama: aid station; best comedy: alcoholics unanimous; one i could most do without: the general flipped at dawn.

[lapsedgamer]

Paradise Killer (Nintendo Switch)

A systems based murder mystery visual novel in a vaporwave Lovecraftian u/dys/topia. Lady Love Dies is summoned from exile to solve the murder of the leaders of the Syndicate, immortal humans who meddle with banished gods in their mission to create an island Paradise. In the search for answers you re-establish connections to old friends and feel out the new state of affairs. Who would stand to benefit? Who had the opportunity? And - whisper it - did the Council have it coming?

Island Sequence 24 is as densely structured a setting as anything in the Metroid Prime series. Backtracking between suspects and crime scenes soon encourages a bit of off-path first-person platforming, which the game is surprisingly well attuned to. Like Samus, Lady Love Dies moves with presence and is immune to fall damage, and the compact setting makes accidental detours tolerable. It’s a pleasure to simply explore this place for its own sake, soaking up the lush audio and juicy-crunchy visual design, but these excursions yield lost objects which offer an insight in to the millennia-long history of the Syndicate, or advance your investigation.

For a game with no prescribed structure, major revelations arrive at a steady rhythm, inconsistencies implying alternative explanations that hint at motives that must be investigated further. Your crime solving computer Starlight organises evidence and testimony but the assembly of these facts in to the truth of the crime occurs entirely in the player’s head - to the point that, famously, there is no prescribed answer.

The pull of the central mystery and the cryptic setting grow as you attune yourself. A full sense of the Island and its occupants arrives as the mystery behind the murders becomes clear, leading to a dramatic and satisfying trial sequence where Lady Love Dies doesn’t so much build her case as bury her chosen suspects under it.

Holding the truth is a unique kind of power, and power is this game’s main preoccupation. There’s nowhere you can’t go, nothing you can’t say, and by the coda, nothing you can’t do in pursuit of justice. And it feels good.