#verily thor

[ohsnapbiscuits]

[rei-ismyname]

MCU THOR SHOULD SAY 'VERILY' AND 'I SAY THEE NAY.' It vexes me they just went with snarky hammer oaf, but people seem to enjoy it. Good for them.

[loppytaffy]

Deadpool's Secret Wars #1-#2

Was there a reason for Logan to savage him like that?

Oof. Not claiming to be a mutant today, Wade?

Thor don't "verily" him! You know he isn't talking about Heirun.

At least he admits it.

I love the consistency of his 80s costume ripping of Daredevil (and if no one tells Matt, he'll never know). Or Danny Phantom, I guess.

He's so offended.

Playing Marvel Rivals be like.

Honestly, bad ass.

Pack it up fellas, we're on the bad time line.

Agatha can get fucked. Deathpool wins.

[royalcommunistthor]

I am that anon who listed out those people, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would spark a discourse and take such an odd turn. It was just something funny in my head.

Oh, poor second-in-line to the throne of the realm eternal, blessed with absolute power! I do humbly beg forgiveness for having overlooked thy torments, suffered at the hands of those of lower rank. How couldst thou lift even a finger to defend thyself? Verily, we must place every blame upon thy brother, His Highness Thor. Oh, wretched soul! Oh, the poorest of babes! Pray, betray thy brother, slay him, and betray and forsake thy realm for mere amusement and funsie, my dearest lord.

Accept my public apology, our epitome of innocence, little prince Loki Odinson, and your devoted followers. It was never my intent to cause you distress.

please there's is nothing on this planet that this fandom wouldn't be able to turn into discourse. absolutely hilarious that you listed jane foster and alligator loki but that didn't even make them pause. jane foster canon loki tormentor yay! i've got no other choice but to stan.

🙏😔

so sowwy loki that was insensitive, everyone knows that growing up as the 2nd son of a royal family and living in a literal golden palace is a human asgardian rights violation. so sorry.

[antvnger]

ULTRON     –Now thou art as well. ‘Tis found in dummy holdings thou possess’st– Is not the world of finance passing strange? Yet as I say, “Keep all your friends most rich, and keep thine enemies most rich as well, then find out which is which when both are rich.”

KLAUE     �� Stark.

ULTRON              – What?

KLAUE                            – ‘Twas once a phrase of Tony Stark the axiom that falleth from thy mouth. Quoth he those words to me a hundred times– though art of him.

ULTRON                      

– False brigand, I am none! [Ultron grabs Klaue. Think’st thou I am a puppet held by Stark, with strings hung fast, sans mine own will to move, a hollow fellow fashion’d for control? Look thou on me – seem I like Iron Man? [Ultron angrily strikes Klaue, severing his arm in twain. Nay, Stark is naught! Alas, apologies, that shall be fine, I’m certain. Sorry, sirrah. ‘Tis simply that I do not understand– I would not be compar’d with Tony Stark. [Ultron strikes Klaue again, knocking him down. Stark is a parasite, an illness he!

ENTER TONY STARK, STEVE ROGERS, AND THOR

STARK        Imprudent junior mine, thou soon shalt break thine old man’s heart.

ULTRON – Yea, if I must, I shall

ENTER NATASHA ROMANOFF AND CLINT BARTON IN HIDING.

THOR       There shall be none of breaking, verily.

ULTRON     You never made an omelet, it is plain.

STARK        I would have said the same, one second hence.

PIETRO      Yea, Ultron hath a quick and pleasant wit. O Master Stark, are thou most comfortable? ‘Tis like old times, with all thy missiles here.

STARK        In no way, knave—this never was my life.

ROGERS    [to the Maximoffs:] You two may still decide to walk away.

WANDA      We will, thou varlet.

[Ultron laughs.

ULTRON –Cap’n America, the righteous man of God, from heaven come, pretending you could live without a war. My body physical doth not allow my gorge to rise and vomit to erupt within my mouth, yet truly, if it did—

THOR          If thou believ’st in peace, then let us keep’t.

ULTRON     You are confusing peace with quiet, Thor.

STARK         I prithee, why dost need vibranium?

ULTRON      How wonderful you happen’d thus to ask, for long have I awaited the occasion to bare mine evil plan before your eyes.

The Bard's Avengers

[avengersacademyarchive]

Mission: Save Asgard 2, part 1

(I sadly missed the first half of this mission so we only have the text below)

Part 1 Thor (Jane Foster): Asgard is under attack. The greatest remaining warriors have been captured, and I've been charged with freeing them, and ridding the city of evil. Who will fight by my side?Enchantress: I'd like to see this evil for myself... Loki: If this is one of my father's pranks, I will be so mad... Lady Sif: I hope there are monsters to slay! Angela: I call dibs on the displayable body parts. Wasp: I'm going for no good reason! Thor: Verily! Thor (Jane Foster): Double verily.

Part 2

Thor: Why are you smiling? We barely made it out of Asgard alive... Angela: Hel is coming. I like it there. Thor: That undead army of Draugr Warriors will be back again as long as the Death Queen commands them... Angela: Then maybe someone should take her throne. Someone like me. Thor: You want to be Queen of Hel?! Angela: It's not bad when you give it a chance. Besides, befriending the dead could reveal the secrets of our past. Although I might need some assistance from a Thunder Goddess such as yourself... Thor: Hel yeah.

[pro-anomalocaris]

Thor is over here going, "You put people in prison for walking incorrectly?!" and looks at Spider-Man with such respect. "Verily, it takes a strong man to continue to do good when the world has failed you!"

And Peter wants to correct but like. Where would he even start?

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

[sciencestyled]

Beowulf’s Methane Mania: A Saga of Martian Fumes and Earthly Drollery

Hark, ye sorry scroll-scrawlers of the digital wastelands, as I, Beowulf, the bane of beasts and breaker of boredom, recount a tale so bizarre it makes Grendel look like a misguided toddler. How, thou wondereth, did a warrior of my caliber descend into the murky quagmire of Martian methane? Was it glory? Was it riches? Nay. 'Twas petty revenge and a sheer inability to resist meddling in the cosmos’ weirdest riddles.

It began one fateful evening in the mead hall—or, as thou callest it now, the scientific symposium. Amongst the flagons of fermented knowledge, I overheard a cluster of eggheads yammering about "alien gases" and "Martian dragons.” Lo! My curiosity was piqued, for where there are dragons, there is Beowulf. Yet, imagine my dismay upon discovering that these so-called “dragons” were merely plumes of methane, lazily lounging about the Martian surface, exhaling ambiguous fumes into the cold, thin air.

Still, I, a man of boundless purpose, saw an opportunity. For had I not already conquered the terrestrial and the aquatic? Mars, the red menace, was a foe most worthy. And if the gaseous dragon of methane dared challenge my legacy, I would throttle it with the grip of reason and the sword of speculation.

What drove me, thou asketh, to pen an account on such foul vapor? Verily, it was modern man’s utter ignorance. To witness the flatulent misinterpretations and meme-worthy conspiracies surrounding Mars was an affront to my storied intellect. Behold, the very notion that methane plumes could be the sneezes of Martian microbes sent me into a fit of laughter so fierce it rattled the rafters of Valhalla. To think, people believed the Red Planet might house tiny alien life, hiding like cowards beneath rocks! Cowards! I could not abide such mockery of heroic scientific endeavor.

But let me tell thee the tipping point: an ill-advised conference, hosted on some infernal platform called Zoom. A strutting technocrat dared dismiss methane as a mere "geological hiccup." Hiccup! I, Beowulf, do not sully my quill for mere hiccups. 'Twas no idle belch of rock but the battle cry of planetary mystery. And if no other warrior would rise to the challenge, then by Thor's thunder, I would.

Yet my venture into academia came not without its absurdities. Picture, if thou darest, a hero of my stature grappling with the indignities of contemporary scholarship—nay, not swords nor sinew, but citations and formatting styles! The APA format, I declare, is a foe far more cunning than any monster I have slain. And, oh, the peer reviews! Imagine presenting thy epic deeds to a panel of bespectacled wretches armed not with swords but pens dipped in the venom of pedantry. "Why," they asked, "dost thou compare methane to a dragon?" Why? Because it is a dragon, thou bespectacled simpletons!

As I wrestled with these intellectual Grendels, I could not ignore the sheer humor of it all. Mars, the fiery celestial cousin to Earth, might harbor either microbial life or geological oddities—and yet, here on Earth, I found myself battling not beasts but bloggers. They, with their clickbait titles and overly enthusiastic hashtags (#MartianFarts was a personal favorite), reduced the sacred pursuit of knowledge to comedic rubble. What hath humanity become, that we value the viral over the venerable?

But alas, my meager revenge upon the methane mystery found its purpose. As I stared into the void of Mars’ crimson terrain, I saw a reflection not of aliens or geological phenomena but of mankind’s ceaseless hunger for answers. Perhaps the plumes of methane are not merely gas but a bridge—one that connects warriors of the past with the scientists of the future. And so, with my pen as my weapon and wit as my shield, I vowed to illuminate this Martian riddle for the masses.

Thus, dear reader, I offer my account, steeped in the absurdities of academia and the timeless valor of heroism. Whether thou art a seeker of knowledge, a purveyor of memes, or simply a victim of curiosity, know this: the tale of Martian methane is not just a story of gas, but of glory. And if it leads thee to ponder the cosmos—or, at the very least, to snicker at the thought of alien flatulence—then my work here is done.

[sebeth]

All-Star Squadron #3 (Revised 1/1/24)

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

Per Degaton has a hissy over the masked men running loose in the city. Degaton still thinks he’ll be victorious as he has captured the majority of the Justice Society along with “non-members” Wonder Woman and Robin.

Why exactly are Wonder Woman and Robin relegated to “non-member” status? Boo!

Wotan, Solomon Grundy, and Professor Zodiak are throwing down with the Shining Knight.  Sir Justin does an admirable job of holding his own. 

Wotan calls Solomon Grundy a “heap of rotted vegetation with delusions of grandeur”.  Harsh, dude.

Wotan refers to the Shining Knight as an armored charlatan and those are fighting words to Sir Justin: “Charlatan, did you say? Verily, I’ll show you ‘charlatan’, thou knave!”

I love Sir Justin’s dialogue. Thor and Hercules no longer speak like this and I miss the days when a “have at thee!” meant serious business.

Sir Justin refers to Solomon Grundy as a “grotesque distortion of life”. Is it pick on Solomon Grundy day?

Sir Justin and Danette escape the ship but are dumped into the ocean. The problem is Sir Justin is encased in metal chainmail, which makes swimming quite difficult: “Zounds! The pressure of the water overhead, it makes my very ears to ring and has rendered this flame-haired damsel senseless! Yet, though mine armor, e’en mine enchanted sword – do weigh me sorely down, still was I knight at Sir Arthur’s table round in days of yore and I shall prevail – not merely for the sake of us twain but for the sake of all the world!”

 The duo are rescued by Winged Victory (Sir Justin’s Pegasus).  They head off to free the captured Justice Society.  Professor Zodiak and Wotan are in pursuit. Zelbar Zodiak is eager to “reduce the Shining Knight to a blob of medieval protoplasm.” Zodiak can be besties with Glorith (from the Legion of Super-Heroes). She not only has the same approach but suffered a similar fate herself.

Per Degaton’s crew is unravelling at the seams and no longer following his orders. Degaton reveals he rescued Wotan from an extra-dimensional limbo in the late 40’s. Presumably Wotan was put there by Doctor Fate or an assembled Justice Society. Degaton retrieved the Sky Pirate as he was fleeing the Justice Society in 1948. The Sky Pirate and the King Bee were sharing a prison cell in the late 40’s that he recruited the duo from. Degaton plucked the Monster from 1944. He retrieved Solomon Grundy after his third and final solo battle with the Green Lantern.

Plastic Man, Phantom Lady, Dr. Mid-Nite, the Atom, and Plastic Man launch an assault on Per Degaton’s ship.  Plastic Man transforms himself into a drill and bores through the ship! Cue big fight with Solomon Grundy and Per Degaton.  Plas is wiped out from drilling through the ship leaving the rest to battle the duo. The group does pretty well considering the difference in power levels.  Dr. Mid-Nite, Phantom Lady, and the Atom are basically hand to hand fighters. I can’t remember if the the Atom had his enhanced strength at this point.  Liberty Belle has enhanced strength and speed.  Solomon Grundy, on the other hand, can brawl with Superman.

“I gotta hand it to you, Belle, for a girl, you’re a great little fighter!” – Way to show your 1940s’ attitude, Atom!

Hawkman, Robotman, and Johnny Quick are fighting Per Degaton’s forces in the city.

“Holy cats!” – Still loving the cheesy catchphrases.

Wotan and Professor Zodiak defeat the Shining Knight and pursue a fleeing Danette.

Wotan blasts her into a vat of artificial lava.  Professor Zodiak recoils in horror: “What a horrible end for a woman!”  Wotan responds with “Such hypocrisy you mortals are guilty of.  As if a woman’s life were somehow more precious than a man’s! Or as if either were worth the merest…”   Wotan is unable to finish his statement as the island is self-destructing.  Degaton sends the duo back to the future.

The Justice Society, including the Spectre, escapes their captivity.  The Shining Knight and an unconscious Danette accompany the group. 

Per Degaton, to avoid an angry Spectre, retreats to the future. Running far away is the only sane response to a pissed-off Spectre.

Robotman, Hawkman, and Johnny Quick arrive to help in the fight against Solomon Grundy.  Solomon is transported to 1947 by Per Degaton. Instead of being returned to his burial in the ground, Degaton arranged for Solomon to be stranded in space.  Grundy will remain in space until a “friendly meteor” will pull him back to earth in time for his appearance in Showcase #55 (1965) where he will battle Green Lantern and Doctor Fate.

Once again, Roy Thomas, master of continuity.

The groups meet up with the Justice Society.  They inform the JSA of the plans to form the All-Star Squadron.   Atom states “Pretty snazzy name, huh, Superman?”  Superman responds with “As long as you’re careful how you abbreviate it.”  Clark with the snark.

Danette has a dizzy spell.  Sir Justin comments that “Tis amazing I found you alive at all, lass, protected by Wotan’s own spells from volcanic fires!” Cue foreshadowing.

The group are losing their memories of their encounter with Per Degaton due to time-travel shenanigans.

The issue ends with Super-Villain Fact Files of Solomon Grundy, Professor Zobar Zodiak Wotan, and Sky Pirate. Fun fact: Sky Pirate suffers from terraphobia (a fear of low spaces).

This was a nice three-part introduction storyline.  The team was formed, and the groundwork was laid for future character arcs and romances.  The story established why Superman, Green Lantern, and Dr. Fate were unable to stop the attack on Pearl Harbor.  I recommend reading Secret Origins #26 to discover what other heroes were during Pearl Harbor.

[antvnger]

((Hey friend! No worries! My Shakespeare’s Avengers game is still open, so you’re totally fine!

So Tony and Loki in Avengers Tower can be found here.

Also the scene between Loki and Natasha can be found here.

Here is the “Ant, boot” scene just for you @delyth88

SILENTLY, THE THREE RETURN TO LOKI AND CONVEY HIM BACK TO THE HELICARRIER, WHERE HE IS LOCKED IN A CELL. ENTER NICK FURY. ENTER BRUCE BANNER AND NATASHA ROMANOFF, ASIDE, JOINED BY ROGERS AND THOR. EXIT TONY STARK, CHANGING OUT OF HIS SUIT. ENTER VARIOUS SOLDIERS, WORKING.

BANNER

[aside:] Who is this man with evil-seeming mien? He smiles as though he held a secret vast, and viewing him, my mind is sorely vex’d. I like not this—such portents work me woe.

FURY

[to Loki:] In case ‘tis some what still unclear to you, should you attempt escape, e’en scratch the glass, you shall be dropp’d some thirty thousand feet within an iron cage unto your death. Pray, do you understand now? Ant, meet boot.

LOKI

A cage impressive, though not built for me.

FURY

Built for one stronger, mightier than you.

LOKI

His fame hath reach’d mine ears, though he did wish to dwell forever in obscurity—a mindless beast in costume as a man. How desperate your cause, that you beseech such creatures lost to be your sure defense?

FURY

How desperate? I gladly shall reveal: you threaten all the living world with war, you took a force you’re pow’rless to control, you speak of peace yet slaughter for amusement, you’ve made me passing desperate, forsooth—you may live to regret it, verily.

LOKI

A cool man who doth burn to come so close: to have the Tesseract and all its pow’r—unlimited, mayhap—and yet for what? A warm light for all humankind to share. Yet then, thou didst see what real power is.

FURY

I prithee, tell me if real pow’r desires a magazine to pass the boring time.

[Exit Loki, encaged.

[azuremallone]

Tinder; In the year of our Lord, MII

Hearken, ye noble seekers of companionship! In the year of our Lord, MII, a maiden of Danish descent, chaste and fair as the dawn's first light, doth seek a suitor. She, a waif of gentle birth, doth possess beauty that rivals the blossoms of spring.

This damsel, pure of heart and spirit, doth yearn for a warrior bold, a man of strength and valor. A Viking of renown, whose nightly might is likened unto thunderous blows of of Thor's Hammer. He must be steadfast as the oak, with courage that ne'er wavers in the face of merciful pleas.

Let it be known that she seeks not the company of braggarts nor the faint of heart. Only he who is worthy of song, who canst protect and cherish with a heart as fierce as the stormy seas, shall win her favor.

If thou art a stoutly man, with arms strong enough to shield and pillage the virtues of this delicate blossom, then prithee, step forth. Let thine actions speak louder than words, and mayhaps thou shalt find thyself basking in the warmth of her grace.

Inquire within, and may fortune smile upon thy quest.

Swipe Right

Hail, fair maiden of the North, whose beauty doth shine as the brightest star in the midnight sky. I am a Viking warrior, stout of heart and strong of arm, and thy words have reached mine ears like the sweet melody of a lute.

I have sailed the vast seas, battled the fiercest of foes, and returned with spoils aplenty. My strength is as the mighty oak, and my resolve as firm as to penetrate the stone walls of your fortress. Like Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir, my arm canst strike with a force that shatters shields and tremors thy grounds.

Yet, in the quiet of the night, 'tis not the clash of swords I seek, but the gentle touch of one whose loin is as bountiful as the fertile fields. I pledge to thee my sword and my shield, to protect thee and to quench thy thirst against all others.

If thou wouldst consider me, a suitor true and brave, then let us meet under the gaze of Odin's knowing eye. Together, we shall weave a tale of love and valor that shall be sung through the ages, echoing through thy castle halls and resound across the keep below!

I await thy reply, fair maiden, with a heart full of hope and a spirit eager for love's sweet embrace.

Match

Hark, valiant Viking suitor! Thy words have stirred a fire within my breast, hotter than the forge where Mjölnir was wrought, a flutter of butterflies within my core. Let us cast aside the formalities of courtship and speak with hearts unshackled.

Verily, I invite thee to invade my castle walls, powerful marauder, as a conqueror of a different sort. Perhaps even bring with thee thy brawny arms and a band of stout-hearted companions, for in unity lies strength. Together, we shall revel in the mead-hall of passion, where laughter and desire intertwine like the threads of a well-woven tapestry.

Fear not for the eye of Odin's approving gaze and astonishment upon us, and shame the disapproving glances of the norns and Danes. Nay, let us defy fate itself and create our own saga—one of longing and deep fulfillment, of captive rapture and stolen kisses. The moon shall bear witness to our trysts, and the stars shall envy our ardor.

So, Viking of my dreams, come forth! Let us raise our tankards to love's wild adventure, and may the gods smile upon our union. And if thy friends wish to join our escapade, so be it—more hands to stoke the flames of passion, more voices to sing our praises across the fjords.

Awaiting thee with bated breath, Thy Danish waif

[kneeltoyourking]

-crash lands thru the roof in a full on Santa Claus outfit, minus the beard because nah man I got my own great beard- HO HO HO, BROTHER. TIS THE SEASON AND ALL THAT. I bring you gifts! -brings forth from his magical pockets a box- BEHOLD! A "LEGO" construction of Asgard that you can create!

As irritating as the big oaf is, as ridiculous as his costumery is, and as loud and ear piercing as he can be, Loki smiles.  Legos are fun.  You can build and destroy and rebuild. You can follow the instructions or create something from your own mind.  Or you can leave them scattered along the halls for your idiot brother to step on with his big stupid feet.

“Many thanks, Thor.”

[shieldarchitect]

verily-thor liked your photoset:burningxcourage: jason-todds: You’re a...

“that’s a nice look you got goin’ there, buddy”

[kinnoth]

ok but if a post-thanos loki would not care about any version of himself other than the one he is right now

who's to say that there isn't some iteration of thor that would do the same

based on the timeline split that happens after 2014!thanos gets himself killed from the timeline

what if some version of a post-thanos thor gets to be like "fuck this, i want my brother back"

goes into version of reality where thanos is already dead

steals loki from the exact moment where thanos would have come busting down their doors

no-thanos!thor has to go chase him across the universes to get his loki back

why is no one brave enough to write that fic??????

[undeadcourier]

Thoughts on horses in Fallout universe?

there should be some, chris avellone

personally i'm a huge fan of anna @owligator's sleipnir concept. the mythology allusion is so clever and i like that they go beyond the "balding and/or has two heads" design we see with brahmin and radstags and such

i think it could be cool, too, to wind back the clock and have fallout horses look more ancient horses - mesohippus or merychippus, perhaps - smaller, with three toes. maybe throw in some water deer-esque fangs just for fun

horses of some persuasion are canon in my worldstate, anyway, because i cannot resist the siren song of cowboy crimes, and the red hands were highwaymen and did some brahmin rustlin

[hyperbali]

Cause a bitch also needs to get new pants, bras, and tops 😩