#vent ramblimgs
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Do I feel yucky because of a very long sucky conversation with a friend or because I didn't sleep, the world may never know
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i have to go to sleep now but the problem is that i only have to go to sleep now bc ill have to get up early the next few days but not tomorrow so im bedtime-revenging pretty hardcore and i can even tell myself i have to sleep or otherwise ill be tired for my appointment tomorrow
#ugh#i wish i could low dose edibles all the time bc they actually make me more productive#but first of all my tolerance would be way off the charts then#and also i have important appointments soon that i have to mostly remember amd low dosing edibles makes that hard#mostly the edibles help with my anxiety amd overbearing fear of everything#i love how some ppl r like well a little adrenaline and nervousness is good bc it shows u that this is important to u#being mervous just means this is important to u#well anxiety makes me be scared of everything so first of all its not a little adrenaline its a high dose and very often and#i gotta sleep#wish yall a good night#and wish me luck for my job interviews this and next week 🙏#i hope i dont fuck it up#tbh i only realised it after i got the invite for the interview but the one im going to this week is actually in a pretty inconvenient#location for me and i would prolly have to buy a bike to get there every day when i get in#but sleep time now ramblimg time can commence tomorrow :)#night night ✨#ben talks#bennitastisch#ben vents
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A friend of mine is making me queasy
I've vented abt them b4 on here but I don't think they're a bad person + I'm the worst at setting boundaries
So I'm aroace and they made a joke abt us having sex like once on tiktok and then I kinda just distanced myself from them instead of actually setting the boundary bc the thought of it makes me wanna vomit and I kinda stressed the aroace part of me more and they haven't made. A joke like that since then like. Earlier this month I vented in the main server we n our friends talk in abt having to come out 2 my mom as aroace bc I mentioned I was gonna play w them and she assumed I was trying 2 date them or something and they started calling me "pookie" n shit and . They also vented abt being too attached 2 friends and being really sad one now has a bf and they can't talk as much and I. It worries me that they're secretly into me .
Like . I'm a selfshipper but I can only really handle romance fictionally, if anyone shows interest in me I feel nauseous and idk what 2 do bc I don't think they're doing anything bad I just suck at setting boundaries bc I have SEVERE and barely treated anxiety and probably more issues but I'm auh. Auhhh. What the fuck! Sorry for ramblimg
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hc did culture is. i feel devestated bc i live with my mom and while she was abusive growing uo, she wasn't invivled in my dad + the other people doing mmm yk to me, ansd im safe and away from my dad and those people, and from what i can tell my moms better than before snd to me shes the most amazinfg person ever. Sute she hits me someimes but its ok its deserved but someone points out shes extremelt neglective and psychologically and verbally anusive and prolly gr**ming me and idk how to feel bc my whole world is niw falling apart because whar she did to me was so normal to Me yet if it was another kid id be panicking and trying to help
(Sorry for ramblimg/venting)
-🦊🩸
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#culture is#ramcoa#hc did#hc did culture#hc did culture is#system#system culture#system culture is#ramcoa culture#ramcoa culture is#vent
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There's a fine line between wondering what you did wrong and knowing you didn't.
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God,,, it's so fuckin frustrating seeing "morally superior than thou" shitheads doing stuff that u KNOW they'd object to if anyone else did it but because they're the ones doing it its ~uwu fine~ cause they're hypocritical little shits
#<my posts>#<vent>#THIS IS NOT ABOUT ANYTHING GROSS DONT TWIST IT#exfriend is reselling an oc for $40 when they got it for WAAAY less than that#and theyve complained MANY times before about people doing stuff like that#Im just goddamn frustrated especially cause theyre ALSO reselling a GIFTED oc for $20 (with no extra art too god)#srry for ramblimg ajxkjskd orz
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on the outside i am cool as a cucumber but on the in side i am repeatedly having the thought "i can't breathe" despite the fact that i am actively breathing, at a normal rate even
#i really fucked up this quarter and i dont know how to get back on track and i could email the professor but its scary#shes very nice but i feel like if i ask for a list of our inclass writing prompts shell be disappointed#but i NEED those prompts because i didnt do all of them and i need to submit them and they arent listed on d2l#i feel vaguely ill but like. not entirely physically#i feel like i cant breathe#i dont know what to do#ramblimgs#vent ramblimgs#school ramblimgs
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Where’s the barely hanging in there star when you need it
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Having a bout of Something and brain is mean
#ramblimgs#late night ramblimgs#vent ramblimgs#I feel sadge for no reason#being aware a feeling is baseless doesn’t negate it
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3 hours sleep
cant get prescription refilled
patreon issues
whats next today
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I’m having a not awesome time rn I am going to be watching some TV but if anyone has asks, send me in, distractions are welcome :)
#I’m going to watch lmk s3 until I feel better#probably go to bed early#idk#I’m just v upset but I’ll be okay later#it will pass#ramblimgs#vent ramblimgs
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Had a crisis, am now sitting on the bathroom floor applying for jobs on my phone
#having a bad moment#it’ll be over eventually#breathing was a struggle for a few minutes but we’re getting through it#me for 45 seconds: I can’t breathe oh god oh god help#me immediately after: oh wait no fine again#two minutes later: I can’t breathe I can’t breathe-#vent ramblimgs#late night ramblimgs#ramblimgs
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Screams part 2
#vent ramblimgs#'Disillusioned with myself right now'#did he forget I'm IN that server while he starts looking for other games#I feel like smashing my head against a rock#and I do t know if it's angry or sad#you are being a TERRIBLE friend and you never listen and I'm NOT going to apologize#dumb fucker#ughhhhhhhh#ramblimgs
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Screams
#vent ramblimgs#I'm past the point where I think I'm destroying a friend group#tho I do think that the person who. probably is going to DEFINITELY thinks so#and. he was being a bad friend to me. and I'm still SO upset#I know it's NOT my fault but 'I'm going radio silent' in general chat made me want to rip out my internal organs#I'm fucking miserable about this#and my boy tried to cheer me up and it worked mostly but I'm still so so upset#and angry#I'm sad#but mostly I'm angry now#and I'm trying not to be#ugh#ramblimgs
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my day be so fine and then boom, nausea inducing levels of stress
#i was just chilling and then suddenly i was dying#but in such a way that i was still chilling externally#anyways im still dying a little#but Less#ramblimgs#vent ramblimgs
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Having a moment give me a minute
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