#vent and advice

[vent-and-advice]

So I recently had a conversation with a friend about some past experiences that I don’t usually talk about because when I do I feel like I’m being whiny and complaining. Basically I had been told since grade school (I think like 7-8 years old) not to tell anyone abt my family’s belief system bc my parents told me that it could get me bullied or our family harassed, (since I’m on anon I’ll just say it was because we’re all some form of atheist) and when I was in middle school later I had a kid tell me he’d “save” me after being up that I used to cut myself and he said he had some gospel to play and I kept telling him I don’t want to hear it and telling him not to play it but he did it anyway and it made me uncomfortable and upset and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for months and I still remember it. When I told my friend I insisted it was probably just petty because in my mind most people have been through way worse and that was a drop in the ocean in comparison so it shouldn’t affect me. But he kept saying that my upset was valid and now I don’t know what to think because when it comes to trauma I know that it’s essentially if there are signs and symptoms then there’s trauma but it just makes me feel bad because I feel over sensitive that I can end up with signs of trauma over something so petty. I get uncomfortable around people who are Christians due to this and I can get really angry over mentions of preaching and have a lot of resentment and mistrust of Christianity in general to the point where it’s hard for me to maintain relationships with people I know are Christian and I don’t want to seem prejudiced or rude towards them. I just feel like something petty happened and my brain is so messed up that it overreacted and this shouldn’t cause signs of trauma when I know it did.

Oh dear me! That sounds awful!!

Dr. Amanda is actually Christian! Catholic to be specific. Just know, Christians who make you feel like this aren’t truly living out what God has told them to live. It shouldn’t be based around guilt and shame and fear. It’s a religion that is meant to be rooted in love. Sadly that somehow seems to fly over people’s heads!! (Get it? Fly? Because I’m a bee and I can fly? Haha!)

There are many Christians and religious people out there who understand what their religion truly means. I can promise you that. Don’t completely close yourself off to them because that could ruin so many opportunities for future good relationships! Of course, if there is a Christian you come across who is toxic, guilt tripping you, all those classic hallmarks, then you don’t have to stay around them! Religion is a very private thing and no one has the right to try and invade into one’s personal beliefs. But often times, like that kid you told me about, it does come from a true passion of what it is they’re preaching. I do think that kid was trying to help, and seeing as how he was young as well, his religion, which he clearly loved, was the only way he knew he could offer help in a time when he saw you were struggling!

Anon, I understand that this is a very difficult topic, and I’m sure it was hard writing this. And for your strength, I offer you a freshly pollinated flower! 🌹

[beatrixx1212]

i want to look how i look when i suck in

[aerischu]

Some of my fav

th!n$p0 pics!

If you wanna be like them get you lazy a$$ up and start working out.

Eating tr@sh j!nk food and laying in your bed won't get you anywhere closer to your goal you f@tty. 😹

[kaspermoon]

nothing feels better than seeing your weight go down

[anaugustproject]

Daily reminder <3

Drink LOTS water !!

Go for a (small) walk if possible (it helps to relax and makes u feel good)

Do workouts. Even if it's only a 10-minute workout, it's good for you and your body. You can do this <3

Eating something small and healthy won't hurt you if you feel like ⭐️ving. (It's better to eat something small than ⭐️ve)

Make your bed.

Take a shower, brush teeth, etc. Take care if your self. Self care is important<3

[millineoo]

If i gave you the choice between the most delicious meal you’ve ever had in your entire life OR waking up tomorrow at your goal we!ght… which one would you pick????

[brunettelatte]

does anyone else feel like they’re not ana enough ?

i feel like im just faking it. i do want to be thinner but i dont think the measures im taking to reach my gw are actually drastic enough to be considered a genuine ed

i don’t really fast and i don’t cut out whole food groups, i just track calories and try to keep it at 1000 a day, i try to stay away from things like fries and milk and extremely sugary things (but even then i’ll indulge in a large sundae sometimes then feel bad about it later) and sometimes i chew and spit sugary food when im really craving something thats super high in calories

other than that i’ll eat at least 2 meals a day as long as they’re 300-400 cal max and i’ll have little snacks throughout the day and i eat pretty much most foods

so how do i know when i’ve crossed the line from dieting and just wanting to look a certain way to actually having an ed ?

[pierrotdoesnteat]

reminder that not everyone wants to be "bonespo" or "deathspo" and that your goals will not always be the same as someone else. some people want an "average" weight, some people care more about how their body looks to them than the numbers on the scale, some people want muscle more than anything. leave people alone over the end goals.

[ravenssworld66]

Kotoko - unis

[vent-and-advice]

i dont know how to say this but i feel extremely angry and betrayed but extremely confused. Theres this friend i have, we’ll call him blue. Blue and i have been friends for a year and i adored him deeply he made me realize a lot about my mental health and realize that not everything from the last has been my fault and his guidance has helped me kind of develop a list of things id like to bring up to a psychologist once im able to see one. However i also became so attached i feel like obsession is almost applicable and its made it hard to see where he may have been wrong but im starting to improve. However today he ended up verging on a breakdown due to his mental health getting really bad recently and i tried to talk him through it but i forgot we were there with two other people and one of them eventually said we need to stop going into these back and forths with venting when other people are there because it can be very upsetting. We left soon after and i apologized to the other two people for not shutting down the conversation as well as Blue for not taking the initiative to stop him before things got upsetting and letting him do something he’d regret. He ended up saying he was distancing himself from the group because he felt like he made everyone uncomfortable and i began panicking because it felt like someone leaving could mean the friend group would split and id be left alone with the collateral. I ended up talking to one of the other people in the group after he responding to my apology (I’ll call him green) and he said I was being a good friend to which I disagreed because I failed to stand up and prevent this whole situation which I think he understands now, but it made me realize blue doesn’t ever seem to tell me when I’m wrong and doesn’t seem to recognize when I’m wrong and it’s been making me angry, but I can’t even be sure if this is just self destruction or genuine when I keep deciding to go to green for the time being who can even be a little rude when telling people they’re wrong. I feel like I’m just in an emotional pit from all of this and it’s confusing because one part of me wants to cling to blue like my life depends on it and the other part of me wants to skin the hand I reached out to him when we met and crush the bones so I can never find someone like him again and I don’t know what to think anymore

Dear friend, I am so sorry. This is very clearly a complicated situation.

It’s always nice to have a friend you can rely on and vent to have listen to you when you’re struggling. But always having a yes man can only increase self destructive behavior. And it seems that’s what Blue was for you. Clearly, he was struggling in his own ways. Everyone does, and it seems that friends who are designated the ‘therapy friend’ always have that emotional burden they must carry, which can lead to breakdowns and bridge burnings. And I understand that you wish you may have never met him, as he only encouraged your worse tendencies, but you have to think about if you actually hate him, or if this was just.. a tragic situation. And, in the end, as sad as it all is, you learn important lessons from a situations like this. The kinds of friends you talk to and how advice should be given.

Blue must be going through something, and, in the end, if he keeps pushing you away and not letting you offer him any help, there’s not much you can do. Perhaps give him time to gather his thoughts and feelings. But you can’t force someone to let you love or care for them.

But, you should also focus more on yourself, friend. Your feelings and emotional well being matter too. Hurt people hurt people. That’s how the saying goes. You don’t have to offer up your entire mental state in order to make someone else happy.

Think of yourselves as islands. You can offer shipments of supplies to help each other’s islands thrive, but if you offer up all the supplies you have, soon your own island will start to wither and die.

Dear anon, stay strong. Complicated friendships like this can be hard, I know it. But you are also worthy of healing and coming through hard situations. I offer you this beautiful rose to make your day have some joy to it 🌹

[beatrixx1212]

oh come on. you don't NIKOCADO AVOCADO, a man KNOWN for being fat to be skinner then you, right?

[bon3yfa1ry]

Am I starving myself bc I am sick or am I starving myself so I can fit into my cunty little outfits again 🎀

[loveanasstuff]

Everytime i see my sister and her food freedom.

I just can not imagine how is it to just EAT?

She dont have this Little voice in her head? She see food insted of number? She can feel hunger or fullnes after eating?

Mindblowing.

[modelincognito]

Icon. I need to watch skins again.

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long