#vent and advice

[vent-and-advice]

So I recently had a conversation with a friend about some past experiences that I don’t usually talk about because when I do I feel like I’m being whiny and complaining. Basically I had been told since grade school (I think like 7-8 years old) not to tell anyone abt my family’s belief system bc my parents told me that it could get me bullied or our family harassed, (since I’m on anon I’ll just say it was because we’re all some form of atheist) and when I was in middle school later I had a kid tell me he’d “save” me after being up that I used to cut myself and he said he had some gospel to play and I kept telling him I don’t want to hear it and telling him not to play it but he did it anyway and it made me uncomfortable and upset and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for months and I still remember it. When I told my friend I insisted it was probably just petty because in my mind most people have been through way worse and that was a drop in the ocean in comparison so it shouldn’t affect me. But he kept saying that my upset was valid and now I don’t know what to think because when it comes to trauma I know that it’s essentially if there are signs and symptoms then there’s trauma but it just makes me feel bad because I feel over sensitive that I can end up with signs of trauma over something so petty. I get uncomfortable around people who are Christians due to this and I can get really angry over mentions of preaching and have a lot of resentment and mistrust of Christianity in general to the point where it’s hard for me to maintain relationships with people I know are Christian and I don’t want to seem prejudiced or rude towards them. I just feel like something petty happened and my brain is so messed up that it overreacted and this shouldn’t cause signs of trauma when I know it did.

Oh dear me! That sounds awful!!

Dr. Amanda is actually Christian! Catholic to be specific. Just know, Christians who make you feel like this aren’t truly living out what God has told them to live. It shouldn’t be based around guilt and shame and fear. It’s a religion that is meant to be rooted in love. Sadly that somehow seems to fly over people’s heads!! (Get it? Fly? Because I’m a bee and I can fly? Haha!)

There are many Christians and religious people out there who understand what their religion truly means. I can promise you that. Don’t completely close yourself off to them because that could ruin so many opportunities for future good relationships! Of course, if there is a Christian you come across who is toxic, guilt tripping you, all those classic hallmarks, then you don’t have to stay around them! Religion is a very private thing and no one has the right to try and invade into one’s personal beliefs. But often times, like that kid you told me about, it does come from a true passion of what it is they’re preaching. I do think that kid was trying to help, and seeing as how he was young as well, his religion, which he clearly loved, was the only way he knew he could offer help in a time when he saw you were struggling!

Anon, I understand that this is a very difficult topic, and I’m sure it was hard writing this. And for your strength, I offer you a freshly pollinated flower! 🌹

[beatrixx1212]

i want to look how i look when i suck in

[kaspermoon]

nothing feels better than seeing your weight go down

[aerischu]

Some of my fav

th!n$p0 pics!

If you wanna be like them get you lazy a$$ up and start working out.

Eating tr@sh j!nk food and laying in your bed won't get you anywhere closer to your goal you f@tty. 😹

[anaugustproject]

Daily reminder <3

Drink LOTS water !!

Go for a (small) walk if possible (it helps to relax and makes u feel good)

Do workouts. Even if it's only a 10-minute workout, it's good for you and your body. You can do this <3

Eating something small and healthy won't hurt you if you feel like ⭐️ving. (It's better to eat something small than ⭐️ve)

Make your bed.

Take a shower, brush teeth, etc. Take care if your self. Self care is important<3

[chic-diet-inspired]

How to stay in control/How to not obsess over food

A huge issue with EDs is that it at time takes over your life. You are constantly thinking about food, how much calories it contains, how you can reduce your intake or crave certain foods. A lot of the time it takes over other aspects of your life. You might be functional but not productive.

Here are some things that I notice about myself that worked for me, and I hope they do for you too:

In case you go a little over your daily cal limit, DO NOT fret. This doesn't need to turn into a binge. Its okay. Your body needed that little extra fuel. Continuous calorie deficit can also cause the body to store excess fat. This IS working in your favor. NO need to scarf down that whole box of Pringles.

When eating out with people, try to get people to share dishes. You can say that you want to try a variety of different foods and so on but this helps. Make sure to take small spoonful of food. That way people would think that you are eating a lot. Chew longer. But try not to avoid going out. This will lift your mood. Change your chain of thoughts. Give yourself something else to think about.

Don't curb your craving. Have it but in small portions. I love me some burgers but The ones I like are 400-500 kcal. So I eat only half of it. I give the other half to my sister. Similarly you don't have to eat all the nuggets. This prevents binging. Eat that ramen you want but DO NOT eat the whole packet. Just half. Or you can do yourself a favor a go 1/3rd.

Focus on macros. Yes I know this is difficult and unnecessary but this helps you sustain. Part of ana is the dysfunctionality but eating healthy lets sustains you longer. Also promoting healthier weight loss.

This may not work for everyone but try not to MEAL PLAN. This makes you think excessively about food. Try to enjoy what is in front of you. Thinking of eating as a ritual. You are letting your body enjoy it. Pointing back to point number 1, its okay to eat a little over your calorie limit.

Rather meal planning, try task planning. Read self-help books. Try to get yourself, as productive as you can get. Study stock market or personal finance. You are as it is saving money by not eating, why not learn more ways to benefit financially.

FOOD IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. It isn't do all end all of your life. Understand that their are a lot of things in your life that are just as or not more important than this. List down things that you would do over eating. Start doing this. How about we start doing this?Post a list of things you had do rather than thinking of food or eating.

[butterfly-r1bs]

movies that are triggering to pass time

link containing movie collections:

[brunettelatte]

does anyone else feel like they’re not ana enough ?

i feel like im just faking it. i do want to be thinner but i dont think the measures im taking to reach my gw are actually drastic enough to be considered a genuine ed

i don’t really fast and i don’t cut out whole food groups, i just track calories and try to keep it at 1000 a day, i try to stay away from things like fries and milk and extremely sugary things (but even then i’ll indulge in a large sundae sometimes then feel bad about it later) and sometimes i chew and spit sugary food when im really craving something thats super high in calories

other than that i’ll eat at least 2 meals a day as long as they’re 300-400 cal max and i’ll have little snacks throughout the day and i eat pretty much most foods

so how do i know when i’ve crossed the line from dieting and just wanting to look a certain way to actually having an ed ?

[ravenssworld66]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[bon3yfa1ry]

Am I starving myself bc I am sick or am I starving myself so I can fit into my cunty little outfits again 🎀

[loveanasstuff]

Everytime i see my sister and her food freedom.

I just can not imagine how is it to just EAT?

She dont have this Little voice in her head? She see food insted of number? She can feel hunger or fullnes after eating?

Mindblowing.

[vent-and-advice]

Hello there, I’ve made some horrible mistakes and it caused me to unintentionally hurt people and lose a lot of friends. This is going to be all over the place and I apologize for that. This all started on Discord. I’m a huge fan of Thomas Sanders. He changed my life in a lot of ways because he inspired me to be a better version of myself. Thomas is so full of life, energy, and enthusiasm. He’s kind, sweet, loving, affectionate, caring, and has the heart of gold. He’s very genuine, open, honest, and real. He touched so many lives, he’s an inspiration to so many people. I was on Discord and I was in a bunch of Sander Sides servers, I made friends with a lot of people and it was fun interacting with others and sharing our love for Thomas and his characters that are called “The Sander Sides” and everyone were very welcoming and sweet towards me! A lot of Fanders made videos for Thomas wishing him a happy birthday, anniversary, or just showing their appreciation towards him, and that’s what got me inspired to collaborate with a group of friends and make a video wishing Thomas a happy birthday. One of them decided to create a server because it’ll be easier for everyone to discuss what kind of videos, edits, fanart, and cosplays they want to do. So everyone can submit their creations and I added all of our creations into one video, edited it, posted it my YouTube channel, and Thomas reacted to it! He brought all of us together and the collaboration made us even more closer. We weren’t doing this to fanboy, fangirl, get a famous person to notice us or 15 minutes of fame. We did this out of the kindness of our hearts because this man truly touched our hearts.

The server wasn’t just about Thomas Sanders and video collaborations. It’s also a safe space for those that are going through difficult times such as homophobia, transphobia, abuse, and any sort of discrimination. A lot of members on the server are LGBTQ+. Their parents are not supportive and they are mistreated for being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, pansexual, etc. My heart was bleeding for them because they deserve to be treated with love, care, compassion, and respect. My co-owner decided to become the server dad because of it and we were becoming a close-knit family already. I asked if I can be the server mom because I have that motherly and nurturing personality. I don’t have any kids in real life but like I said before, I have that motherly and nurturing personality. I’m a shoulder to cry on, ear to listen, and hand to hold. I always encourage people and make them feel loved, accepted, appreciated, and happy. So, it was a natural calling to me. I literally tell people this “If your parents don’t support you for being gay or if they abuse you, I’m your new mom now.” The co-owner said yes and I was happy. They’re 18, polyamorous and dating two different people. I’m 26 and a heterosexual. I’m one of the oldest members of the server. The majority of the members are teenagers ages 15, 16, 18, and 19. Everyone was happy to have new parents that finally loved, accepted, respected and understood them. It brought all of us closer together. Everyone called us “Mom and Dad.” Everyone had a family role too. We had server aunts, uncles, sons, and daughters. Because of the age gap, I thought it would be weird for us to be server husband and wife because again, I’m 26 and they’re 18. One day, they gave me the role to be their server wife and I figured as long as they’re comfortable with it, I’ll accept and I gave them the role to be my server husband. It wasn’t meant to be taken literal because we don’t have feelings for each other and I wouldn’t date anyone who’s 18 or 19. It was just for the family dynamic. We called each other “Wifey and “Hubs/Hubby.” One of his partners was a member of the server and he was okay with it and he called me “Mom” also. We all called each other nicknames out of endearment. I called one of my friends “Kitten” and I didn’t know that it was inappropriate to call people. I was saying it in a motherly way for example a mother cat and all of her kittens. One person said “Kitten” and I explained that it was my way of saying sweetie, my dear, dear, and darling and the person I called that understood and told me they were cool with it. They never told me they weren’t comfortable being called that. Not on the server or a DM. Nobody on the server educated me or explained whey calling people “Kitten” is inappropriate either.

One day the co-owner messaged me, venting to me about their personal struggles and I was trying to encourage them but they wouldn’t listen to my advice. They told me that they valued his partners more than me as a friend and that’s the day I made a terrible decision. I overreacted and told them that I felt like my heart was stomped on, it felt like a kick in the throat, I was thrown into the dirt because I’ve done a lot for them and everyone else in the server. I guilt-tripped him and that was very rotten of me to do. One day he told me to stop calling him “Hubs” asked me to message him privately and he told me he wanted to take a break from the dad role. They told me they were hurt about those awful things I said. They also said that I seem to be clingy too. I respected their decision but I asked them are we no longer going to be a family because I didn’t understand the sudden change. I was pressuring and forcing them to be in a family dynamic they were no longer comfortable with. I felt horrible for the way I spoke to him, I took full responsibility for my actions, held myself accountable, and took ownership of my mistakes. Days later we made amends but they told one someone about the situation and they posted a thread about it on Twitter and I was accused of grooming minors, being inappropriate, and manipulating them. That wasn’t the case at all. They also mentioned the “Kitten” thing too. They said that I kept calling individuals kittens despite them telling me they were uncomfortable, but they never did. I only called one person that and they never told me that they were uncomfortable. I found out they were too scared to message me and tell that they were uncomfortable. There’s more but I don’t think I can fit everything into this. Everyone unfriended and blocked me. I had no idea what was going on because I thought me and co-owner made amends and I was working on learning healthier boundaries and trying to recenter myself. I was messaging our mutual friends constantly and daily because I went into a panic and I had no idea what was going on until I saw the thread on Twitter and the post on Instagram. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone because I would NEVER treat a child that way. Everyone called me a groomer, predator, and I was even told that I should register as a sex offender. The person I called “Kitten” didn’t give me the chance to apologize to them because they unfriended and blocked me. All I tried to do was be there for those in need and make everyone happy, not hurt them. Everyone hates me, and I feel like they’re going to tell Thomas about the situation and make him hate me too. I’ll never get to meet him one day because if I do, people will probably say “There goes that groomer over there!” All of this happened last month in June. I’m consumed with anxiety. I feel unloved, unwanted. I really need your advice because this has been weighing on me for too long.

Oh dear, this sounds complicated. Take a deep breath, drink some calming tea, and let's think about this.

So, you messed up. That's ok, everyone does. But you have to understand that people who aren't willing to hear your side of the story and make baseless accusations against you are never truly worth it in the end. I recommend saying your piece to these people and letting them choose to do with what you have said. And, I recommend also taking a break from online spaces in general. Being the constant shoulder to cry on in vent Discords may feel like an honor, but being responsible for the mental health of so many people can consume one with anxiety. Take some 'me time' to sort everything out.

And all that matters is you know who you are, and I know you'll find the people who will be able to judge your character as it is as well.

Now take this flower my friend and go off. Everything will be ok. You will be ok. You've got this. 🌺

[beatrixx1212]

oh come on. you don't NIKOCADO AVOCADO, a man KNOWN for being fat to be skinner then you, right?

[gingersnappedxx]

Back into my egg obsession♡

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[cokejoints]