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karlrose · 1 year ago

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Vellus Aureum -Chapter 1-

An exploration of the concept of Happiness, the different characters pursuits of Happiness, and their refusal to have Happiness for themselves.

"Vellus Aureum" translates to "The Golden Fleece", the item that Jason of the Argonauts believed was the key to his Happiness, the key to getting everything he ever wanted, only to end up spurning the actual key to his Happiness, the gift bestowed upon him by his patron Goddess, Hera.

Ao3

He was sure this time she would say yes. The preparations were all complete. The room in which his father used to make all his designs had been renovated into a sewing room and creative workspace for her, his old room had been separated in two, an office in one half and the half with the adjoining bathroom into a smaller bedroom, and his things had been moved to the master bedroom which he would share with her.

He wasn't asking her to marry him. Just to move in with him. He wanted to show her that he was ready to be the partner she needed, that she could depend on him, and that he was ready and willing to work toward making her dreams come true.

He stood in the doorway of what he hoped would soon be her sewing room, deep in his own thoughts of the future he wanted to share with her, when a voice from behind brought him back to the present.

“Atrociously pink,” Felix scoffed as he came to stand beside him in the doorway. He and his mother had come to stay with him after his father's passing as Aunt Amelie's business could be conducted from anywhere, although she did make frequent trips back to England for business meetings and the like. “I would think an aspiring designer would have better taste.”

Adrien couldn't help but roll his eyes but didn't stop gazing at the room, imagining her hard at work on her newest project. “Well, I'm not the designer. It will look much better once she gets her hands on it.”

“Quite...” Felix responded, raising an inquisitive brow before returning his attention to the stack of papers in his hand. “When will she be arriving, exactly? I have some questions regarding this business venture.”

“Run them by me,” Adrien stated, preparing himself to be bored by talk of bottom lines and financial statements.

“No,” was Felix's flat response.

“No?” He finally turned to face his cousin, raising his own eyebrow in question now. “What do you mean 'No'?”

Clearing his throat, Felix stated as if he was explaining the obvious to a child, “This is a design company and she is the designer. She is the head of this business. The business that you, by the way, dear cousin, asked me to manage. Your answers to these questions would be superfluous.” Misinterpreting Adrien's confused expression, he added, “Superfluous means meaningless. Useless.”

“And you're synonymous with insufferable,” he threw back at him, holding the flattest face he could manage. “And what questions could you possibly have that I can't answer for you?”

“Marketing, advertising, product lines, additional employment,” Felix began listing with a bored tone. “How would she like to advertise? Does she have a design for a logo? Who manages her website and how may I get in contact with them? Would she approve of redesigning said website? Does she have any products ready to market? Does she have previous clients that I need to contact? Does she have models? Seamstresses? Will I be in charge of hiring additional personnel unaccompanied or would she prefer to be present for such things?” He stopped to look at Adrien with an air of superiority, knowing he had made his point, then sighed in exasperation, holding out his hand. “Just... give me her contact information. I will call her myself.”

Adrien stuttered for a moment before giving Felix a hesitant, “... No?”

“How am I to manage a business if I'm not allowed to speak with the owner of said business, Adrien?” He questioned with more than a hint of annoyance.

“Well... you see,” he began, scratching the back of his neck the way he did every time he was off put or nervous. “I kinda... sorta... haven't... told her about it yet.”

Adrien let out a slightly strangled laugh as Felix looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

“You... you haven't...,” Felix took a deep breath and closed his eyes in order to gather his thoughts and not just outright call his cousin an imbecile. “You had an office and workspace built for her, redesigned half the house for her... and you haven't... told her yet?”

“No, but-”

“Have you even asked her to move in or is that in the air as well?” Felix asked, growing more annoyed by the second.

“Not yet, but-”

“No. Stop,” Felix put his hand up to make him cease speaking. “I am done with this conversation. I'm going to get some tea, eat something, and try to reconcile with the fact that we are related.” When Adrien opened his mouth to respond, Felix immediately silenced him, “No. You have unfinished business to attend to and I am out of patience for your... incompetence sounds more cruel than I intend it to be, but it's the most applicable word I can find at the moment.” He paused in the kitchen doorway before adding with a dismissive wave of his hand, “Off with you now.” before I say anything else I may regret.

“I'm no doctor of pepper, but I feel like you're giving me twenty three flavors of sass right now,” he tossed at the closing door.

He heard Felix's voice carry through the door, “It is only one flavor and most people call it salty.”

Adrien was reluctant to follow orders from Felix, of all people, but had to accept that he was right. It was foolish to build and plan for a life with her without talking to her about it first.

So, full of trepidation, he turned on his heel and walked out the door to face the inevitable.

He had to talk to her about it. He had to finally ask if she would move in with him.

And he had to prepare himself for if she said no.

Once outside with the sun shining on his face, pigeons flying overhead, and the wind tousling his hair, he began walking in the direction of the bakery that she lived above, no longer so sure she would say yes.

As he passed Place du Châtelet, gazing up at the statue of the goddess Victoire atop Fontaine du Palmier, he felt as though she was taunting him. In the upcoming tribulations he was to face, victory was anything but assured.

“Why the sullen and sour face, Adrien?” Plagg asked from the inside pocket of his shirt, trying to sound more mocking than concerned. “Usually, you float on cloud nine all the way to the boulangerie.”

“It's Marinette,” he began, eyes fixed on the ground.

“Marinette?! Why would you be all sad about Marinette?” Plagg exclaimed in surprise. “I thought it would be that obnoxious cousin of yours!”

“While I do agree that Felix can be... abrasive, he means well enough.” It was strange to say it out loud, even knowing it to be true. Felix did have his best interests at heart. It was just the methods he was willing to use and the lengths he was willing to go to that made it difficult for Adrien to really trust him. Well, that and the mischievous 'pranks' he often plays and his refusal to explain the actual intentions of such behavior. “Besides, he's right. I didn't think this through. I rushed into everything like I always do and I'm going to push too hard and she's going to pull back again and-”

“Woah woah woah!” Plagg flew in front of his face to break him out of his spiral. “Just breathe and look at me,” he gestured toward himself while trying to give as reassuring a look as he could manage. “Everything is going to be fine, Adrien. This is Marinette we're talking about. She loves you, you love her, the two of you are sickeningly sweet together. Everything will be fine.”

Once he saw his holder visibly relax and breathe deep, he added, “And I want a fresh baguette to go with my brie... Ooh, and some of that artisanal camembert!”

“Right. You're right, Plagg,” Adrien let out a sigh. “Everything... will be... fine.” He wanted so badly to believe it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was about to ruin everything.

And what if, this time, she didn't stay?

“I'm always right,” Plagg remarked, replacing his concerned expression with one of smug confidence. “And don't forget my cheese!”

“He is overwhelmingly daft,” Felix spoke into the cellphone held by his shoulder as he poured his cup. “Honestly, who rearranges their entire home for a woman without informing said woman?”

“He's afraid to have a conversation with her that could possibly change the status of their relationship,” Kagami's voice came through the line. “And after the fiasco last year, I don't really blame him. Although, I do agree that it was somewhat foolish to put all that work into her business and making a space for her in his home knowing he wouldn't have the courage to ask the question.”

“Oh, please do not remind me,” Felix rolled his eyes, taking a seat at the small table in the kitchen. “I had to deal with him whinging about it for months.” He took a moment to inhale the aroma from his cup before continuing. “How does he expect for this to work if he's afraid to talk to her?”

He heard her giggle before saying, “Like you're afraid of talking to her?”

“We have spoken about this,” he stated through slightly clenched teeth, placing his cup back on its saucer more forcefully than he intended. “I am not afraid. I just know better.”

“Mhm,” she hummed in a tone that clearly conveyed that she did not think he was being sincere. “And by 'know better', you mean building walls like a contractor.”

“I do not believe I appreciate your tone, luv.”

“Good. I've been working on it and I was worried it wouldn't translate without the ability to see my face.”

“Yes, your satire has improved quite well,” Felix responded as evenly as he could muster, taking a sip of tea. “Regardless, I am not building walls. I am maintaining proper boundaries.”

“Of course,” she began with a somewhat playful tone. “Because maintaining walls is what you do after you've built them.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear to glare at it before putting back up to his ear, “Could we focus on my cousin's problem and not mine?”

“So, you admit that you have a problem?” she added as more of a statement of fact than a question.

“My problems are irrelevant to the current situation,” he said with an icy air, staring at the distorted reflection of his visage in his tea. He despised the person he saw looking back at him.

“As much as I know it kills you to watch him struggle,” Kagami's voice broke through his regressive thoughts. “You're going to have to let Adrien handle his own problems. If you solve everything for him all the time, he'll never learn how to do it for himself. You want him to be his own person and be independent, so you're going to need to step back and let him make his own decisions and his own mistakes.”

“I just want him to be happy,” he spoke with more than a hint of melancholy. He knew she was right. He was constantly jumping in to solve Adrien's problems, whether he wanted him to or not. And she was right that, in the long run, it was doing him more harm than good. He had become too dependent on his help. But if one sees someone drowning, are they to just watch and hope they'll learn how to swim before the water takes them?

“His father used to say the same thing.”

“The difference in this instance is that I actually mean his happiness and not my own,” Felix spat back with a bit of bite. “And I am not a terrorist.”

“But you did assist a terrorist,” she interjected frankly. “And there was that one time you snapped the entire population out of existence.”

“I had my reasons,” he grumbled. “And that was one time. I have grown since then and I know better now.”

“I'm not sure that will hold up in court.”

“I am not going to court, luv,” he said with a small chuckle. He knew it was a joke, but playing along made it more fun. “In any case, I was granted Ladybug's complete forgiveness and support. She was quite adamant about that... So adamant that it became proper obnoxious, actually.” He got a warm feeling that made him slightly nauseous thinking back on it. He had hurt her and she still came to his defense. And, what's more, found it in herself to forgive him. His presence on her team had sowed discontent between her and her partner. Discontent that she really couldn't afford with the dangers of her obligations. He felt an immense guilt for it. He wanted to leave. He tried explaining to her that if Chat Noir had a problem with him, a problem which he had every right to have, it would be better if he wasn't there. And he never wanted to be a hero anyway. He wasn't cut out for it. He didn't have the right mentality for it. But, every time he broached the subject, she refused to hear it. And when she gave him that look, like she saw something in him he could never believe was there himself, he couldn't bring himself to fight her on it anymore. She gave him more than he ever deserved and he was indebted at the mercy of her unfathomable kindness and compassion. And that made him feel weak. Like a slave to himself and his emotions.

“You only find it obnoxious because it makes you feel things you didn't consent to feeling,” Kagami commented nonchalantly. He both detested and adored how well she could read him, even when he felt he was being extremely guarded. It was infuriatingly intoxicating.

“If I did not consent to it, it should not be happening,” Felix stated, crossing the arm that wasn't holding the phone in front of himself as he leaned back in his chair to look at the ceiling, no longer wanting to look at the reflection in his cup. “That is just the laws of human decency.”

“Good Afternoon, Felix,” Amelie sang as she came through the door. “What has mummy's special boy looking so dour?”

Felix immediately straightened himself to sit properly and flash a small smile at her. “Good Afternoon, mum. I am doing well,” he hummed happily, hoping it was convincing. “How was your morning?”

He heard Kagami playfully chirp through his phone as his mother spoke of her morning taking business calls and helping Nathalie in the garden, “Mummy's special wittle boy.” She giggled knowing he was glaring again. “Tell her I said hi.”

He rolled his eyes with a soft smile on his face as he relayed the message, “Kagami sends her greetings.”

“Oh, Kagami!” Amelie lit up at the mention. “She's just darling! Will she be joining us for dinner this evening? I feel like it's been forever since I've seen her.”

“She was here last week, mum.”

“That's forever in mum time, dear,” both women said almost in unison causing Felix to uncharacteristically chuckle.

“Kagami, dear,” he began as his laugh died down. “Would it please you to join my mother and I for dinner this evening?” He could see joy fill his mother. She looked as though she was going to start bouncing on her heels in excitement. “I believe mum gravely misses your impeccable wit and grace.”

“I'll be there at six thirty,” Kagami lightheartedly replied, thoroughly entertained by how Felix's whole demeanor always shifts in the presence of his incredibly upbeat mother. “We'll continue our conversation then.”

“Wonderful. See you then, luv,” He spoke warmly before disconnecting the call. He returned his attention to his mother who was impatiently waiting for his response, “She is more than delighted to join us this evening.”

“Marvelous!” she cheered, clasping her hands together, before placing a kiss on his forehead as she moved across the room toward the tea pot to pour herself a cup. Felix smiled as he watched her pour her tea, not into one of the beautifully expensive porcelain cups, but into a misshapen mug he had made for her in grade school. The handle had broken off years ago when he dropped it into the sink basin while trying to help his mother wash the dishes. He had been devastated when it happened, but she said it only made her love it more.

He found it a poignant metaphor for their relationship. They were bonded by pain, by trauma, by the damage that had been inflicted upon them by a monster.

And they were bonded by the love and understanding they found in each other.

He felt guilt for his wish that she could find that love and understanding somewhere else. She deserved to love and be loved in return. She had suffered so much.

It angered him to think of how his grandparents had auctioned her off like cattle to the highest bidder and how she, ever the dutiful and obedient daughter, went along without complaint.

She believed that she would learn to love him, but that never happened. He was too cold, too distant, and too cruel for love to ever blossom in his salted fields. But she had tried. All hope for such feelings died within her the first time she witnessed him gazing upon their child, the first thing to bring her true joy, and he had called him a monster. She had given him a son, an heir, and that man found him monstrous.

She realized she had been sold and married off to a monster who was incapable of love, incapable of understanding. But, ever the dutiful and obedient daughter, she kept up appearances. Appearances were everything in their world.

It had been years since the monster had died and she still wore only black, playing the part of the grieving wife, for a man she never loved for he could never love her. Keeping up the appearance of grief was a shield to keep her parents from, once again, selling her off to another monster. The experience with his father had made her afraid of men, of marriage, of finding happiness outside of being his mother. But she deserved so much more.

She deserved someone who saw their future in her eyes, someone to walk by the Seine with, someone to dance in the rain with, someone to share ice cream with, someone who would hold her close as she slept in their arms, someone she could smile about waking up next to. She deserved love. Real true love.

She deserved to be happy.

“Felix?” a voice reached out for him within the darkness of his thoughts. It took him a moment to shake himself free and focus on his mother's face, etched with concern and kindness. “Dearest, are you sure you're feeling well?” She placed a loving hand on his forehead and cheek to check his temperature, searching his eyes for a reason behind his distance. His eyes widened as she took a step back. She had found the reason. “You shouldn't let him into your head. He's gone. Let him stay that way.”

He wanted to ask why she still allowed his existence to dictate her clothing choices, but could never bring himself to say anything so hurtful to her, so he simply replied, “Yes, mother,” before flashing her a reassuring smile.

His answer seemed to be enough as she quickly returned to her usual cheerful demeanor, talking about her excitement to see Kagami, about her plans for dinner that night, about how happy she was for her son. He politely made chitchat back, laughing with her, sharing in her excitement, giving his thoughts on what they should serve for dinner. Then she asked a question that threw him off balance, “Do you think we could convince Adrien to invite Marinette to join us for dinner as well? I understand that her and Kagami are good friends so I'm sure she wouldn't mind the extra company. And poor Adrien has been wound so tight lately. A nice night in with pleasant company might be exactly what he needs to relax a little.”

“Actually, mum,” he began with some hesitation, trying to choose his words carefully. “Adrien is with Marinette as we speak, but I'm not sure she will be joining us for dinner. She has an... unusually busy schedule.”

“She works too hard,” she spoke with disappointment and sympathy.

“Yes,” he quietly agreed. “She really does...”

“And that is why I think it would be a good idea for you to move in with me,” Adrien concluded with an air of cultivated confidence, or that's how he hoped it came across, because under the surface, he was sweating bullets, anxiety filled bullets.

Marinette shifted uncomfortably on the chaise lounge, trying to think of how to respond. Moving in with him would be much too dangerous and make keeping her secret identity much more difficult. As much as she wanted to accept his offer, her duties as Ladybug had to come first. Marinette could be happy after Ladybug recovered the butterfly miraculous.

But would he wait for her? Would it even be fair to ask him to when she couldn't tell him the reason for the wait?

She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Adrien, I-”

“I know, it's really sudden and you don't want to move too fast,” he spoke before she could get her thoughts out. “But you'd have more space to work, and if you're uncomfortable with sharing a room with me, I could bunk with Felix. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.”

“Adrien, as much as I-”

“And I heard that it's not good for your sleep schedule to work in the same place where you sleep,” he continued, gesturing to her creative corner, which was directly under her bed. “This way, your work space and sleep space would be in entirely different areas of the house which should help you get better sleep which will help you have more energy for your projects.”

“While I'm sure that's true, I-”

“And Felix agreed to handle all the business stuff,” he said with a flourished wave of his hand. “So you can focus on being creative.” He looked at her with hope shimmering in his eyes and finally noticed that her eyes were downcast and stormy. “I... I know that there are things,” he took a deep breath to keep his voice from shaking, “that you're not ready to tell me... and it does bother me, but... I'm not going to push it. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or... or pressure you into anything.” He looked up to hold her eyes with his own. “Your secrets are your secrets. Your privacy will not be compromised. I want you to trust me and I understand that trust is earned. I'm just asking for the opportunity to earn it... please.”

There really was no easy way out of this. Saying no at this point would crush him, and after last year, she wasn't sure she could handle causing him so much pain again, even if it was to keep her superhero secrets. And telling him that she was Ladybug was absolutely off the table. She didn't know how, and she didn't want to know how, but Adrien knew Chat Noir and she knew that if she told Adrien that she was Ladybug, Chat Noir would find out. And Chat Noir would truly know that she doesn't love him because of her love for Adrien, and he would get akumatized, and she would have to face him again...

She wasn't sure she'd be able to face him again.

The thought of her partner, her friend, her kitty, broken and crying for her help haunted not only her dreams, but her every waking thought as well.

And the dominoes that lead to that tragic fate start with Adrien finding out who she is.

She would have to be extra careful, she would have to plan some excuses in advance, but every problem has a solution. She could pull this off. It would just take a little more effort. And if it came down to it, she was sure Felix could come up with some cover for her, being that he already knew she was Ladybug and knew how important it was to her to keep it a secret.

She still had some reservations, but had made up her mind, so she nodded her head and uttered a quiet, simple, “Okay.”

“O-okay?” he repeated, not quite believing that she actually agreed.

“Yes,” she said, trying to solidify her answer for him. “You had a lot of good points. It would be good to have a larger work space that is separate from where I sleep and I'm sure that Felix would be a lot of help, giving me more time to focus on my designs... and I'd have more time to spend with you.”

His face lit up with pink dusted cheeks and a smile that couldn't be contained as his entire being buzzed with excitement and radiated joy.

“Yes, okay!” he almost cheered, practically bouncing as he stood. “Um, let me know when you're ready and me and the guys will come over and help you move your things, okay?”

“Okay,” she confirmed with a slight tremble to her voice that she hoped he didn't notice. “I, uh, I should start packing.” She stood and closed the distance between them before anchoring her hands on his shoulders to lift up on her toes high enough to place a small kiss on his lips. “I love you, Adrien.”

“I love you, too,” he almost whispered as he bent down to return her chaste kiss with a slightly more passionate one of his own. “And thank you, Marinette. For everything.”

She watched as the trap door to her room closed behind him before bolting back towards the chaise lounge so fast that the piece of furniture flipped on it's side as she landed across it, causing her face to collide with the hard floor.

“Are you okay, Marinette?” Tikki questioned with a small voice laced with concerned as she appeared from the other side of the lounge.

“I'm not sure, Tikki,” Marinette responded, making no move to peel her face off the floor. “Do you think I made the right decision?”

“What do you think, Marinette?”

“I don't know,” Marinette said, finally pushing herself off the floor and putting the chaise lounge back up right. “I think that I might be putting my secret identity in danger by moving in with him, but I don't think there was a way to say no without telling him that I'm Ladybug anyway. I know that I love him, but I feel like I'm leading him on because I can never fully commit to him the way that he wants. Am I just prolonging the inevitable? He's going to want to get married.”

“Don't you want to marry Adrien?” Tikki asked, making herself comfortable in the crook of Marinette's neck.

“Well, yes, but how am I supposed to make a promise to share our lives when I know that I'm lying to him about half of mine?” Marinette expressed with a mix of conviction and panic. “It just... seems so wrong. I've lied to him about so much already. I... I can't lie to him about that.”

Tikki's eyes filled with sadness as she watched her holder visibly deflate from the weight of her burdens. She lovingly stroked her cheek as she said, “You know, I'll support whatever decisions you make. I trust you and you are a fantastic Ladybug. You'll find the answers.” Marinette turned her head to smile at her before Tikki continued, “I also think you should give yourself the opportunity to be happy. You deserve to be happy, Marinette. I don't want you to miss out on life just because you're Ladybug.”

“I know, Tikki,” Marinette exhaled an exhausted breath, letting her shoulders relax. “Thank you. I appreciate your support. I know I can always count on you.” She gave the small being a peck on the top of her head before collapsing onto the lounge to stare up at her ceiling.

Soon, this wouldn't be her ceiling. Soon, this wouldn't be her room. It was a lot to process and there was a lot to prepare for.

“I'll start packing tomorrow.”

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