#vday 2018

[buddiebeginz]

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. — Pablo Neruda (desktop wallpaper | phone)

[freckliedan]

wait can you talk more about christmas 2018?

Anonymous asked: Just what you said in your post! "the first christmas where they publicly spent that much time together" did they usually keep quiet about where they were?

i can't speak to the 2014-16 era because i fell out of touch with the fandom at that time, but i was absolutely around during 2017 & 18. both of those years marked HUGE shifts, and both of those huge shifts came at the tail end of gamingmas/dilmas. you can check out my original frog theory post and my frog theory tag for elaboration on the function of gamingmas irt all of this. as just like. prerequisite framework reading.

ANYWAYS. the thing that was such a big deal was that dan was openly visiting the lesters with phil. yes, you can visit friends' families during the holidays. but it's much more frequently something you do with a significant other. so the ruckus was because dan and phil knew the conclusions people would jump to if we knew dan visited the lesters at christmas, and they still let us know that it happened.

(this got disgustingly long, so i'm putting the rest of this post under the cut.)

part of what made that such a big deal was having that happen after the no homo/closet era, the "we're not together we're not even that close of friends we're just roommates" era. the significance of their trust & openness was MUCH more tangibly felt. a way larger percent of the fandom at that time had been present when the vday video leaked/had joined shortly afterwards when that was one of the biggest things impacting both phandom culture and our relationship with dnp.

so in 2017 when we got a glimpse of dan up north at the lesters' in a couple of cornelia's instagram stories? we lost our fucking minds about it. it was only 2 (i think) background cameos, but it was quite literally unprecedented. it's not something that qualifies as openly spending time together at the holidays because of the method throug which we found out about it, but like. there's no way they didn't know that cornelia was posting those, and no way that they didn't know we'd know about it.

when i say we, i mean dedicated phannies. people who could possibly be reading this post, not casual subscribers to the gaming channel. because when it comes to casual viewers, or even people who aren't a part of dan and phil's usual audience at all? there's a lot of methods of communication that they just plain aren't paying attention to and won't be aware of.

the most direct, permanent methods dan and phil have for communicating are videos on either of their individual channels or on dan and phil games, and after that is instagram grid posts or tweets, as well as videos on their side channels. twitter replies, insta stories, livestreams, and their public likes on any social media platform? those are for a more private audience. their appearances in other people's posts reaches a similarly small audience.

knowing that they were starting to be more and more open through the communication channels only open between them and dedicated fans, and that it was a trend - december 2017 is also when phil, in a liveshow, read out someone's "you and dan are so married" comment and just.. laughingly said "it-it's a useful thing". (link to gifs of that). it wasn't a one-off. it was a trend.

and compared to 2018, it was dust. they spent the whole year becoming increasingly open with us, through increasingly direct methods. it was a whirlwind. even for people who've watched all the videos and liveshows, you don't have the whole picture. the onslaught was coming at us from every angle at all moments. you'd have to also explore the full archives of social media posts, insta stories, meet and greets , social media likes, and like.. the archived recordings of every interactive introverts tour date. it was batshit.

it was genuinely one of the most insane years of my life. i was having physical symptoms. we all knew what was coming, we all could tell they were working up towards coming out, but nobody wanted to trust that we were right about that. my dashboard was regularly at a fever pitch.

and december 2018 was the culmination of everything. and then they were talking directly to us in a liveshow and being. insanely open. they told us that dan was going with phil to visit the lesters. and they told us that pinof was ending. and then dilmas started dropping, aggressively cementing the fact that dab and evan were sim-universe proxies for dnp, while dan and phil posted instagram grid and story updates about visiting the lesters. and then dab and evan came home to the howlter house for the holidays. and got engaged.

and then they went on hiatus, and we pretty much did not hear from dan until he came out.

the point is. we knew there was a fucking insane energy. we KNEW something big was coming. we fucking knew. it was a two year build up to dan and phil being the most publicly gay they'd ever been on the gaming channel and every single other platform - and part of that insanity was them being open about dan visiting the lesters, which coincided with them having their proxy sims get gay engaged while visiting family.

"did they usually keep quiet about where they were?" anon, the last time before all this that they had openly acknowledged dan visiting the lesters during the holidays was 2009.

the way they were acting over christmas of 2018 had me experiencing shrimp emotions to such an intense degree i was having verifiable psychic visions.

[pseudophan]

i became a phannie in 2018 (right in the middle of ii) and i'm a bit scared to ask lol but... what was the vday video? :0

*cracks knuckles* oh boy

the date is september 17th, 2011. a video gets uploaded to the lessamazingphil youtube channel, it stays up for about three hours. the video, simply titled with an emoticon, is.. deeply embarrassing, if i’m being honest! it’s essentially a valentine’s card from phil to dan, painfully earnest and very very sweet, but obviously not meant to be seen by anyone else. at this point in time the phandom was quite small and nobody really lost their minds fully, though there are still reactions from the day up online. most of the reactions were people just going ‘lol called it’. 

the original upload date of the video was february 13th 2010, and it had been private on lessamazingphil for a year and a half until a YOUTUBE GLITCH publicised it. quite frankly if i was dnp i would be burning down youtube headquarters because that is some fucking bullshit. the video gets taken down as soon as phil notices. he reaches out to people who saw it and explain to them that it was an april fools prank that they decided not to go through with.

now because not THAT many people saw it, and there weren’t many diehard shippers at the time, everything kinda died down. that is, until dnp properly blew up and got genuinely famous and oh no of course someone saved the vday vid and of course someone leaked it. halloween 2012! that’s when it all broke loose. at this point not only was the phandom big but there were a metric fuckton of shippers out there. and so when someone posted THAT.. well, you can imagine. 

dan was in the middle of his no homo howell era and went the FUCK off at people on tumblr about it, phil was answering questions about it like hahaa nooo it was a prank lol. basically they were sticking to the april fools story, which is a hilariously bad excuse for many reasons, and truly did not add up even a little bit. there’s not really a reason anymore for us to pick it apart, because after BIG and dan confirming they were romantically involved at the time it’s more clear than ever that they were full of shit when they said it’s a prank, but people were writing essays about that shit. you had to be there, i fear. but also be glad you weren’t cause it was carnage out there 

for YEARS after this phil would take down any copy of the video online, like i’m talking everywhere from youtube to pornhub to obscure foreign websites. the phandom rule was kind of to just not mention it at all, but definitely never post it.

i think we’re best off keeping the ‘don’t post it’ rule, because although the ‘outing them’ part of it all isn’t relevant anymore, it’s still a very private video and i just cannot stress enough how deeply embarrassing it is. i say that lovingly.

that being said, mostly everyone has seen it anyway. i am so sorry dan and phil. kind of, it’s kinda funny also. but sorry again. for what it’s worth, phil seems to have stopped taking it down, so while i won’t post it i will say that if you want to find it you can

... i am going to share their comments on it though because good lord

[spngraphics-archive]

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graphics - gifs - edits - manips - icons - collage - mockups - posters - picspam - webweaves - nsfw - AUs - historical - fantasy - scifi - preseries - post canon - spnwin - tfw - the impala - purgatory - the empty - wayward sisters - cowboys - reverse!verse - trueform!cas - angel!dean - demon!dean - demon!cas - endverse - angels - archangels - demons - monsters - witches - wings - flowers

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[alittledizzy]

Hi! Feel free to ignore this, but would you mind sharing what you thought of Dan's comment in their reacting to pinof vid about him trying to get his hair to be as straight as he was pretending to be in 2011, when he... wasnt? Not really? I mean, I wasn't around then and I definitely don't remember everything in detail about that time, and when I tried to go back to check just now I found out that phandirectory changed the password, but I thought they went deep into denial in 2012?

They went back into the closet not too long after they got together. The earliest six months or so of interaction were pretty obviously queer and flirtatious/sexual but as soon as Dan moved to Manchester it stopped. I think their increasing fame made Dan really hit a rough patch mentally because people were starting to ship them, be a bit invasive, and he didn't have a good reaction to the thread of more people knowing he wasn't straight than he was talking to specifically on twitter in the beginning. Like once it became something his family could potentially see - well, we know he didn't even come out to them until 2018, so I can understand how that terrified 19/20 year old Dan.

And then the vday video leaked in 2011. That really was just a nail in the coffin, but they'd already began reframing themselves as friends before that.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Introspection (4) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three

all of these small things (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: It’s Dan’s first day back from his American tour, and Phil can’t believe how much he’s missed him.

Chips (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan struggling with the concept that all healthy couples should fight.

fallow & blossom (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: He’s half-drunk and laughing in the hotel room with these people that he loves and knows that this, this is living.

flicking through the pages (i’ve written in my memory) (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: Dan and Phil return to Manchester for a nostalgia-filled day before heading off on their world tour.

game plan (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: In another universe, Dan posted “the June video” in 2018 as originally planned, right in the middle of the Interactive Introverts tour. But how would he and Phil have handled the gaming channel?

give back (everything the darkness stole) (ao3) - i_am_my_opheliac

Summary: You’re both so glad that you waited, glad that you let the storm have its moment, waited it out in the shelter of your own home, in between safe walls that you erected together.

he kept tulips in the kitchen (ao3) - gremlinhours

Summary: dan doesn’t know if he’ll ever be enough for anyone, but in the meantime, he tends to his garden, unminding of the world.

phil works at his favourite flowershop.

In Starbucks (with you) (ao3) - apoetacriminal

Summary: Things are just beginnig for them, but they’re also coming to an end. An afternoon in Manchester, a coffee shop sofa, and some memories.

invincible (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: the first day after is like a breath of fresh air

Little Black Box (ao3) - hygge

Summary: While packing up their apartment before they move into their new home, Dan finds something hiding in Phil's suitcase that makes him question what he wants out of their relationship.

Other (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Phil’s journey of being gay except it’s completely made up by me

Pathological people pleaser (who only wanted you to see him) (ao3) - ThoughtfulMess

Summary: Over a decade since the infamous vday video. What does Dan feel about it, and their relationship now? It could never be the same, he knows.

Dan’s response, all these years later.

Santa Buddy (ao3) - philsbignaturals

Summary: In which the boys host joint family Christmas in their forever home

Together Again (ao3) - LivingVicarioslyThroughDaydreams

Summary: This is Dan’s moment, and Phil is more than happy to let him have this time. So when Dan calls every night, gushing with energy and excitement, Phil doesn’t tell him how he wants to be with him, how he misses him so much. He only smiles and laughs along and tells Dan how proud of him he is.

But now Dan is coming home, back to him. He almost feels selfish with how excited he is. Today though, he’ll allow it. Dan has had his time to find himself, but today: today will be just for them. Together again.

(Phil's perspective on missing Dan and being reunited with him)

We balance each other out on the seesaw of life (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil had dragged Dan to Isle of Man after his return home from tour. The sea air would do him good (even if it gave him hobbit hair) and he could be surrounded by Phil's family (who were his family too). He hadn’t actively planned to drag him onto a seesaw on a playground but it turned out to be a precious moment all the same.

(we were in) screaming color (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Phil thinks he could be jealous. He turns the idea over in his mind, weighing it. He could be more jealous, angry for Dan’s lack of attention.

when you see the sun, i see the moon (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan has a show. Phil goes to an art fair. Life goes on.

you can see it with the lights out (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Somehow it’s taken Dan until he got to Japan, but here it’s caught up with him, hit him like a freight train. Phil keeps laughing at him, showing him pictures on his phone of Dan’s face softened by it, posture loosened by it.

[jellygay]

I don’t know how busy I’ll be Valentine’s Day or the days leading up to it so I drew this quick McHanzo piece!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO MY FOLLOWERS AND EVERYONE!

[simonfalk]

[dxntasies]

happy valentine’s day cuties! i hope your day is filled with lots of love from all your loved ones around you. remember to spread love, but most importantly- don’t forget to love yourself because you’re amazing and i love you 💞💞

[aikaikaik-art]

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Because I’m a bit of a single pringle, it isn’t like I could just have one person to focus on for a special day like so - so what do I do instead? Show my platonic love for all of my friends! Apologies if I didn’t get to some people, but here we are! I’m posting this technically a day before the holiday, as I’ll be busy during then! SPECIAL SPEEDPAINT of this: [x]

Now, who are all these lovely people? Tags below say it all:

@bugbreach @themeanbunny @canislupusboofs @elesbreee @kibadoglover45 @milkfake @sistarstarly @grimmori @greyscaletyphoon @acidic-nitram @djc4t64 @devil-child-robin @substitutingreality93 @gooseworxmusic @peercrane @slirth @lizzybeanbutt Rexy, Nate, and Nights2Dreams

[sewerik]

Happy Valentines Day! @gresshoppe-skipjack

[goldenpinof]

happy phannie valentines day to polish people and everyone who is coming here to see a bitch named Dan

[juliettelime]

i never posted my valentine’s day countdown playlists here? so here are all of the ones i’ve made up to date 💖

[uwu-vision]

Have an unwanted admirer and can't express your feelings? Use these awful eurovision Rejection Cards!

Find more here!

[lovevalley45]

i’m not excited for valentines’ day bc i’m not dating anyone HWOEVER i’m excited for tomorrow when i can get one of those stupid vday plushies on clearance

[richardmurrayhumblr]

Title:happy vday 2018 Artist: djdonttouchthetrim https://www.deviantart.com/djdonttouchthetrim/art/Happy-Vday-2018-730980600?src=MC_deviation_stack #RMAudios #RMEbooks#RMEbook #RMCollage#Kobo #AALBC #Youtube