#varric tethras the man that you are …..

[companionquest]

Top Ten Cullen Rutherford Blunders

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[animezinglife]

[ghost-bard]

I think at least some of varrics issues would be fixed if he looked into bisexuality and thats all i have to say on the matter

[sheepnebula]

I think Solas fundamentally doesn’t believe people should change their nature. This makes sense from a spirit’s perspective where any deviation from your core identity makes you a demon, but it makes him kind of bad at empathizing with people. It’s also why he hates all the change that has happened in the world in the 1,000 years he’s been asleep. To Solas the entire world is essentially a spirit he turned into a demon, so changing it back is worth killing a ton of people. It’s also why he doesn’t really respect the dwarves as they exist today. It’s hard for him to accept that Varric isn’t and doesn’t want to be a “child of the stone”, to Solas that is Varric’s purpose so it doesn’t make sense for him to show 0 interest in it. His beef with the Dalish is whole other can of worms but at least one part of it is him resenting their culture for changing so much. For Solas valaslin should be a fixed symbol with a fixed(pro slavery) purpose, so he doesn’t really respect the 1,000 years of history that have radically altered the meaning of that symbol. I love how complex his character gets because this attitude toward change is sometimes in conflict with his love of freedom. He believes everyone should be free to pursue their own fixed purpose, but trying to change yourself or find a new different purpose is fundamentally unwise.

[biancadavri]

the weird one-sided rivalry between varric and sebastian would be over if dwarves weren't cut off from the fade. dreams about gay sex would hit him almost instantly. can i say this? like can we say this? he is NOT normal about that man

[b-e-e-h-o-p]

Thinking about that one party banter between Solas and Varric about “cleaning up human messes” like Solas YOU KNOW DAMN WELL-

[amourningcrow]

Late game spoilers, particulary about Varric! I wasn't able to put this into words before, but now that I've had some time, I think I can actually talk about it. It's a little long though.

I tried to start a new playthrough three times now, but I can't even make it to the ritual side without breaking down. It is, frankly, embarrassing.

But Varric means so, so much to me. I knew deep down that he wouldn't make it out of this alive - that he even survived past DA2 was a surprise to me. The man's got tragic death written all over him! But I still wish we had gotten some more out of him. Some more interactions with the companions, more banter, more relationship dynamics. We never even found out what he would have called the others! (Aside from Neve, who was 'Slick', apparently.)

This isn't even a criticism of the writing! I think it makes sense and fits his character, sadly. (Though it's also the first time they actually managed to make me hate Solas, which is quite a feat.) It's just me being heartbroken about one of - or maybe even my ultimate - comfort character. I played DA2 (and the others, too, but DA2 holds a special place in my heart in this regard) during a time in my life where I was very much just... lost, I guess. God. I think I actually felt physical fucking grief when I went through the Fade prison scene? I was shaking and sobbing the whole time and I don't know if I have it in me again.

I'm a bookseller by trade and Varric loving stories always resonated with me. He's often reduced to being the sarcastic sidekick, but I love all his aspects and complexities so very dearly.

The son who didn't ever quite fit in with the society he grew up in, who couldn't hold up to his parents expectations and so instead refused to be tied down by them, but still had a deep love for his family.

The man who was so tragically in love with a woman he couldn't have that he made her his little secret, keeping Bianca's identity even from his best friends. Who probably still didn't let go of his yearning all those years later, maybe because it was easier than opening up and getting hurt again.

The one who was always bickering with Cassandra, this steely woman he was always at odds with, but still wrote her a continuation for his romance series he didn't even think was good because beneath all of his veneer, he still cared.

Who was presented with this half-spirit half-boy and saw just a squirrely kid who needed some help to find his place in the world. (And yeah, this is special to me. Because god damn it, I never had someone like that growing up, and I would have given all my limbs and a kidney for it.)

Who was so, so full of compassion himself, despite all the shit the world had already thrown at him.

I don't know. Maybe I just have a thing for people who try to lock their hurt away so not even they, themselves, have to confront it. (Maybe because I'm a little like that myself and maybe that's why I like Lucanis so much, as well. Damn you, Mary Kirby.)

But anyway. Sorry for the vent. I just needed someplace to share this, I guess. I don't know what to do with this hole in my chest, but props to Bioware (and damn you again, Mary Kirby) for putting it there, because it's definitely not normal for me to care this much. I wasn't even this sad when I had to leave my Hawke in the Fade. Maybe they'll finally find each other again, wherever they are now 💔

[mumms-the-word]

Mini Veilguard update!! Under the cut as per usual because there are early game spoilers here (I have thoughts!)

Explored most of Treviso and Minrathous, as much as I can before going to get Davrin anyway. Treviso is gorgeous and Minrathous is interesting (idk what I expected out of Minrathous but we’re also only seeing Dock Town so…we’re not really seeing much of the actual magisterium sector). I know there’s a big choice coming up because I got spoiled by people who don’t tag their spoilers (still mad about it) and it’s making me think

I read an excellent post about how DATV has essentially sanitized a lot of the lore to make the game palatable and on the whole I do agree. I feel like I’m getting LaCroix spritzes of lore flavor rather than bold and confident lore flavor. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of lore, plenty of callbacks to all three of the earlier games! It’s just…subtle? Or hidden in codexes

I think the thing that strikes me most is that for all the talk of slavery in Minrathous we don’t really see slavery at all. At least, I haven’t, this far in the game. Where are the magisters beating their slaves? Where are the merchants buying slaves because it’s Just How Things are Done? Obviously if slaves live in estates with their masters, then that explains why we don’t see a lot of them in Dock Town. But where are the conversations between Dock Town citizens where people are facing difficult choices to potentially sell themselves into slavery to feed their families? Both Dorian and Krem talk about these as realities in Minrathous and other cities in Tevinter.

As for Treviso, I think it’s beautiful and the fact that the Antaam has broken from the Qun and dissolved into war bands fascinates me. I think that’s cool! But the Crows baffle me. They’re too nice. It’s very odd. On the one hand, I LOVE Teia and Viago. On the other hand, they and Lucanis should be the exception, I think, for being Crows interested in freedom fighting and protecting Treviso. And maybe other Crow cells not in Treviso are still cutthroat brutal tormentors who buy children to train as assassins, as Zevran tells us, but we sure don’t get to see it in the game.

I can shrug and set most of it aside, lose myself in the beauty of the game and the charm of the companions (who I do like, a couple of weird conversations aside). But apparently I have to choose whether to save Treviso or Minrathous soon. I guess from the Blight? I don’t know details because I have tried my hardest to avoid spoilers lol so if you’re reading this DON’T tell me!

Buuuut

I don’t know. Right now that choice hinges on who I will disappoint (Neve or Lucanis) and who among the NPCs I may be willing to sacrifice (Hal the fishmaker, certain faction members, perhaps). I suspect, given how nice the game is being, that I won’t lose access to Teia, Viago, The Viper, Tarquin, Mae, or Dorian. I mean, I doubt I’ll see Dorian again but he’s a fandom darling. I’ll be very surprised if he dies. But I digress. The point is, I know it will feel like a sacrifice…just a smaller one than it could be.

Because the choice could be so much harder, so much more complex, if it was a choice between two obviously corrupt cities. Do I sacrifice Minrathous and call it a lost cause because slavery is so rife there, the magisters are corrupt, the Templars aid the magisters and not the people, and they keep sacrificing people for blood magic? Is full on destruction the only thing that will get the city to reset and recover in productive ways? Or do I sacrifice Treviso, which houses a bloodthirsty guild of assassins who buy and raise and train children to be killers, who is now under siege by reckless Antaam, who cannot be defeated by anything short of a major catastrophe? What if both cities were revealed to be more gritty and cruel than we actually got to see in the game? How do I choose which to save and which to allow destruction to come in?

Some of these elements are still present. But they’re buffed down. Maybe the game will surprise me! But for now I feel like I’m choosing between saving my favorite NPCs or my favorite aesthetic, rather than facing a complex choice over which city to save, knowing both the good and the bad and everything in between.

We shall see! I am off to the Anderfels (I think) to meet a couple of wardens and hopefully see Davrin soon. So I will update again soon!

Oh, PS: COMPLETELY baffled by the fact that Varric recognizes the lyrium dagger as being the red lyrium idol. Like, sure, fine, those two things are related, and its true that’s why Solas wanted the red lyrium idol (just see Tevinter Nights and the comics)

But bro they look nothing like each other!!

What do you meeeaaaaannnnn

“it has the same ring at the top” okay and?? One is blue and shiny and the other has twisted corpse figures and is red and crumbling and was also turned into a giant ass greatsword back in the day??

Super weird reveal, not a fan, but it was more funny than annoying so there’s that.

Anyway we press onwards lol

[a-gay-bloodmage]

Never Have I Ever Sucked a Cock

(Thom x Mallory Trevelyan)

With the Iron Bull now a tal-vashoth, Blackwall revealed to be a murderer, and the Herald of Andraste now an open cross-dresser, the Inquisition in dire need of a morale boost. Thankfully, Sera knows just the drinking game to get everyone's mind off of the less fun secrets.

What's this? A "Keep Reading" divider on one of my fics? Insane!

First off, I'd like to extend a special thank you to @stenshale for spurring me to commit to re-doing this fic! I'm so glad I did! Hope you enjoy, beloved mutual!

I thought it'd be fun to include a list of all the questions played in the game of Never Have I Ever, mainly because I'm so curious to know how many drinks other peoples' characters would have had to take!

Never have I ever... 

1. ... fucked a girl  2. ... gotten kicked by a horse 3. ... vomited after drinking  4. ... knitted  5. ... had hair longer than my nipple  6. ... gone more than a week without a bath (including streams, so long as there's soap) 7. ... been to the opera  8. ... pantsed myself on the battlefield  9. ... gotten challenged to a fight in the middle of a piss  10. ... been picked up and dangled by a Qunari  11. ... instigated a tavern brawl by slapping a man on the ass  12. ... pissed myself  13. ... fisted someone  14. ... sucked a cock  15. ... faked my identity  16. ... slept with a man  17. ... accepted coin for sex  18. ... stripped in public  19. ... bottomed for a bas 20. ... had sex drunk  21. ... worn a dress  22. ... slept with a mage  23. ... slept with a dwarf  24. ... had sex in a barn  25. ... watched two unknowing people go at it  26. ... taken it up the back entrance  27. ... used a sex toy  28. ... been eaten out  29. ... slept with an elf  30. ... been tied up during sex  31. ... fucked a shem 32. ... had my cock sucked 

[sylvanwoodring]

gayest thing about varric's whole deal about sebastian is that he probably had to describe the cute little laugh in sebastian's voice at the beginning of his replies whenever varric starts a banter with a jibe

[lavellaned]

Varric has an Inquisition belt buckle </3

[vaguely-concerned]

varric giving rook his shaving mirror to keep kind of hits different when your rook is a trans man I have to say

[chantryexplosion]

varric WHAT does that fucking mean

[tactician]

currently reading The Missing for the plot

[antiparticular]

I've been playing for less than 10hrs and I've already decided varric is dad