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anixvl · 2 months ago

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BITTERSWEET || Y. J

pairing: boxer!jungwon x detective!fem!reader

synopsis: Jungwon, a rising star in the boxing world, lives by discipline and focus, known for his relentless fights and handsome looks. But his world is thrown into chaos when he becomes the prime suspect in your investigation of a dangerous crime syndicate running illegal underground fight rings. To prove his innocence, you're both forced to work together and navigate the corrupt system. But as the lines between duty and desire begin to intersect, you realize that the hardest battles are fought not in the ring, but in the heart.

genre: smut, enemies-to-lovers trope, angst, forbidden love, some fluff

warning: smut MDNI. Rough sex, dirty talk, public sex, guns, kidnap, cursing, open ending ?,

wc: 15.1k

an: hey guys heres part 2, anyways i hope u enjoy! <3

You slammed the door to your car, the sound of your boots hitting the ground with your ever confident stride filled the air. You were determined to finish this case and get justice once in for all. Justice for the murder of your former partner, colleague, your close friend.

You were in complete hysteria when you found out the death of your long-term partner, Hyunjin. Unresolved, you made it your duty and mission to find Hyunjin’s murderer, and you know it starts here. After endless research, you found it. Mr. Yang, the mastermind of a crime syndicate running illegal underground fights. It was previously Hyunjin’s case, before they killed him. After being advised multiple times by the police department to let higher-ups handle it; the very own department you and Hyunjin worked for years, you continued on with the case solo regardless. It was only a matter of time before they found out. You will find the murderer and avenge Hyunjin. It’s a must.

With every breath you let out, it vaporized into the freezing wind. The anger you felt, finally coming so close to catching the murderer, warmed your skin. You wore a big black leather jacket over your black hoodie, which was propped over your head to not bring attention to you. And finally, you walked into the run-down building.

The dim glow of the boxing gym’s fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting long shadows over the empty ring. The scent of sweat and leather lingered in the air as Jungwon pounded his fists into the heavy bag, each strike landing with a satisfying thud. The rhythmic sound filled the otherwise silent space, save for the occasional shuffle of his feet against the worn-out mats.

It was late—too late for anyone else to be here. Just how he liked it. No distractions, no expectations. Just him, his gloves, and the fight ahead.

Or so he thought.

The gym doors burst open with a sharp bang, the force of the entry sending them swinging against the walls. Jungwon froze mid-punch, his head snapping toward the disturbance. You stood in the doorway, the neon “OPEN 24 HOURS” sign flickering behind you, casting a faint blue glow against your sharp alluring features.

You are immensely stunning—though the deadly glint in your dark eyes made it clear you aren’t here for small talk. Walking with your hands stuffed into your jacket’s pockets, you carried an air of authority, but no badge in sight.

No uniform. No backup.

Jungwon wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand and exhaled, “Gym’s closed.”

You ignored him. In a flash, you reached behind your jacket, pulled out a folded document, and tossed it onto the gym floor between you both. It landed with a crisp slap, the bold lettering of WARRANT FOR QUESTIONING staring up at him.

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, amusingly, “You could’ve just asked nicely.”

You stepped forward, your boots echoing against the floor, “Shut it, you’re coming with me.”

Your voice was smooth but edged with something sharp—something personal. Jungwon exhaled through his nose, glancing between you and the warrant.

“What exactly am i being accused of?”

“Illegal underground fights. Money laundering. Possible ties to the Black Dragon Syndicate,” You stated, analyzing his undeniably handsome face.

God, not to mention the look of his body…

Jungwon let out a short laugh, shaking his head, “You’ve got the wrong guy.”

“Maybe,” you tilted your head, eyes locked onto his like you were waiting for him to slip up, “Maybe not. Either way, I have questions.”

Jungwon’s eyes trailed down your body, sensing something was off, “Where’s your badge?”

You raised your head defiantly, “I don’t need one.”

Liar.

Jungwon had been in enough situations to recognize when someone was playing outside the rules. And judging by the way your fingers twitched at your sides—like you are itching for a fight—this wasn’t just a routine questioning. This was personal. And he could read right through your pretty face.

“I see,” he mused, stepping out of the ring.

He smirked, “You’re not supposed to be here, are you?”

Your expression remained unreadable, “I’m here because your name keeps coming up in places it shouldn’t.”

“Or because you need answers you’re not getting through official channels.”

The flicker in your gaze told him he was right. Something dark coiled in his chest. He didn’t know what you were looking for, but if you are this desperate, you are dangerous. Maybe not to him—not yet—but to yourself.

Before he could think too hard on it, you moved.

Fast.

In one swift motion, you grabbed his wrist, yanking it behind his back with expert precision. Jungwon twisted out of your grip just as quickly, breaking free and stepping back.

You lunged again, and he dodged, catching your wrist before you could land a hit.

you were skilled—he could feel it in the way your muscles tensed, the way you adjusted your weight in a split second, ready to counter his next move. But so was he.

You both clashed, a flurry of movement and near-misses, neither fully committing to hurting the other but neither backing down.

Then, you changed the rhythm. Instead of another strike, you feinted—just enough for him to react—before sweeping his legs out from under him.

Jungwon hit the mat with a grunt. Before he could push himself up, you pointed a gun at him, your other hand held a pair of cuffs.

He looked up at you, lips still curled in amusement despite the fact that you’ve just floored him, “Woah, pretty, thats a dangerous toy you have there. Let’s put it down, yeah?”

You leaned down, voice low and firm, “This isn’t a game, Jungwon.”

Your mask had cracked—just a little—but enough for him to see it now. The anger simmering just beneath your calm exterior.

Jungwon’s smirk softened, ��Who are you really after?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Stop acting. I know it’s you who’s been behind all of this.”

"I already said you have the wrong guy."

“Actually,” you murmured, reaching into your jacket pocket.

Jungwon barely had time to register the movement before you pulled out a sleek black USB drive, holding it between your fingers like a loaded gun.

His stomach twisted.

“Recognize this?” you asked, your voice quieter now, but no less sharp.

Jungwon kept his expression neutral, “Should I?”

You smirked, but there was no humor in it, "You should. Because I know exactly what’s on it.”

He clenched his jaw. He didn’t know what kind of information you had or how you got it—but if you were confident enough to use it against him, it couldn’t be good.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” you continued, stepping closer.

“You’re going to help me find the real culprit. The person responsible for all of this mess. And in return…” you twirled the USB between your fingers.

“This stays between us.”

Jungwon exhaled slowly, his mind racing. He could fight you on this. He could try to get away, call you bluff. But something told him you wouldn’t have come here without leverage you were willing to use and he just had too much to be guilty for to risk it.

So instead, he met your gaze, tilting his head slightly, “Blackmailing me, Detective?”

“Call it… an incentive," you shrugged.

He let the silence stretch between you both before finally giving you a small amused chuckle, “Alright, I’ll play along.”

You nodded, pocketing the USB again.

“Good,” you murmured, “Then let’s get to work.”

Jungwon sat in the passenger seat of your car, his body lazily slugged into the seat, his legs propped open. The soft hum of the engine filled the silence between you, the glow of streetlights casting fleeting shadows across his face as you sped down the empty roads.

He rolled his wrist as he played with the hem of the long bandages on his hands, "So, where are we going, Detective? Or do I not get that privilege?”

You kept your eyes on the road, your grip steady on the wheel, “We’re going to talk somewhere private.”

Jungwon smirked, tilting his head slightly, “Careful, that almost sounded like a date.”

You shot him a glare, “Are you always this shameless?”

Jungwon chuckled under his breath, his dimples showcasing his handsome face frustratingly, watching you from the corner of his eye. Now that he was sitting this close, he could see it—the exhaustion hidden beneath your sharp exterior. The tightness in your jaw, the way your shoulders never fully relaxed, as if you were constantly bracing for a fight.

Whatever you were after, it wasn’t just about justice. It was personal. He knew that. He looked out to the window.

"You never did tell me what’s on that USB.”

You remained silent for a moment, your fingers tightening slightly around the wheel. Then, you said, “Enough to ruin you.”

Jungwon whistled, “That bad, huh?”

“I don’t make threats I can’t back up.”

“Fair enough.” He studied you, curiosity growing, “But if you had enough to ‘ruin me,’ as you say, why not just use it? Why drag me into this?”

You exhaled through your nose in irritation, “Because you’re useful.”

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, “And here I thought you just wanted my charming company.”

You didn’t take the bait.

“My partner was murdered,” you said, your voice even, controlled.

“The higher-ups don’t want me on the case. They shut me out, told me to move on. But I know there’s more to this.”

Jungwon leaned forward slightly, intrigued despite himself, “And you think I can help because…?”

You hesitated. Just for a second.

“The Black Dragon Syndicate has connections to underground fights,” you admitted.

“I have reason to believe my partner’s killer is tied to them. And you?” you finally glanced at him, your gaze cutting.

“You may not be dirty, but you’re close enough to their world. Close enough to get me where I need to be.”

Jungwon considered your words carefully.

He wasn’t stupid—getting involved in something like this could destroy his career, his life. But then again… you weren't wrong. He knew people. He knew how the underground worked, how fighters got tangled up in things bigger than they could handle.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, Detective. I’ll do what I can, but after that, we're done.”

“Okay.”

“But,” he added, smirking, “if I’m doing this, we do it my way. You’re good, but you don’t know their world like I do.”

You arched an eyebrow, “And what exactly is your way?”

Jungwon leaned back again, his smirk deepening, “We start with a fight.”

You pulled the car into an abandoned lot behind an old warehouse, the headlights cutting through the thick mist rolling in from the docks. The place looked empty, but Jungwon knew better. This wasn’t just some random stop—You brought him here for a reason.

He leaned forward, glancing around, “Let me guess. This is where you try to get me killed?”

You shut off the engine and unbuckled your seatbelt, “That depends on how cooperative you are.”

Jungwon looked down, a genuine smile plastered across his face.

And God, those dimples your heart can never get used to.

“You really know how to make a guy feel special, Detective.”

Ignoring him, you stepped out of the car. He followed, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets as the cool night air settled around you.

you turned to face him, your expression unreadable, “If we’re doing this, I need you to prove you’re not just going to slow me down.”

Jungwon tilted his head, intrigued, “What, you want me to do push-ups or something?”

Your lips twitched—almost like you wanted to smirk—but you didn’t. Instead, you nodded toward the warehouse.

“There’s a fight happening inside. Illegal, no official records, all cash bets. It’s run by a middleman for the Black Dragon Syndicate.”

Jungwon frowned, “And you want me to fight?”

“No,” you closed the distance between both of you, “I want you to win.”

Jungwon's eyebrows furrow, he looks down at you, “You realize if I step into that ring, I blow my cover, right? I have a reputation to keep.”

“Then don’t lose.”

Jungwon studied you carefully, searching for any hesitation in your eyes. There was none. Your faces only mere inches apart. And although it was freezing outside, you can't help but to feel like you're burning up.

“You really are insane, aren’t you?”

You look away, trying to calm your rapid heartbeat, “You said we do this your way, Jungwon. This is your world. You know the rules. If I walk in there alone, I get nothing. But if you fight—if you win—you get me a seat at the table.”

“These people know me. They know what I can do. I don’t need to prove myself.”

“I know," You nodded, “all you have to do is get me close to the right people.”

Jungwon exhaled, irritated, leaning closer towards you, “You’re asking me to put everything on the line.”

You held his gaze, defiantly, “And I’m putting everything on the line, too.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You held your gazes, faces so close it made your hands clench. The distant echoes of voices from inside the warehouse filled the silence between you, the weight of what you both were about to do settling in. The tension palpable.

Then, finally, Jungwon smirked.

“Fine,” he said, walking past you, "Try to keep up, Detective. The moment we step inside, you’re in my world now.”

Jungwon led the way toward the warehouse, his steps unhurried, confident—like he owned the place. In a way, he did. His name carried weight in the underground. He didn’t need an invitation, didn’t need to sneak in through the back. Wherever there was a fight, Jungwon was welcomed. Respected. Feared.

You walked beside him, your sharp eyes scanning everything. Light on your feet, your guard completely up. Your presence just as commanding, but in an entirely different way. You are striking—undeniably so. Even in the dim, grungy surroundings, you turned heads. It wasn’t just your beauty; it was the way you carried yourself without needing to show much skin. The lethal grace in your movements. The sharp glint in your eyes that warned people you are no easy target.

Jungwon noticed, too. But unlike the others, he wasn’t staring in admiration—he was entertained. Curious.

"Didn’t peg you for the type to blend in," he murmured, amusement lacing his tone.

You didn't even glance his way, "And I didn’t peg you for the type to care."

You were used to it—being looked at, admired, but so underrestimated. It didn’t faze you. You were too busy to care about anything other than your mission, too uninterested in wasting time falling in love. After all, you had your fair share with men and saw glimpses of how disappointing they could be.

As you reached the entrance, a heavyset bouncer stepped forward, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze flickered from Jungwon to you, eyes narrowing.

“Didn’t expect to see you back so soon,” he grunted, “You fighting tonight?”

Jungwon smirked, “Maybe. Just here for business.”

The bouncer’s eyes shifted to you, “And her?”

Jungwon didn’t hesitate. He threw an arm around your shoulders, a smug grin tugging at his lips, “She’s with me.”

You barely resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs. Instead, you turned your head slightly, giving him a mocking smile and a sharp glare which practically threatened, Touch me again, and I’ll break your wrist.

He returned a cocky smile.

He looked at Jungwon, smirking, “Didn’t think you were the type to settle down.”

Jungwon chuckled, “Who said anything about settling?”

His tone was playful, but you caught the knowing glint in his eyes. He was enjoying this too much. His comment irked you. You move away from him.

Finally, he stepped aside, jerking his head toward the entrance, “Try not to get blood on the floors.”

Jungwon shrugged, following behind you towards the entrance, “No promises.”

The moment you stepped inside, the air changed. The heat of bodies packed together, the metallic scent of sweat and blood, the roar of the crowd as fists met flesh—it was intoxicating.

You took it all in, your sharp gaze flicking from the ring in the center of the room to the men gathered around it, placing bets with wads of cash. The underground fights weren’t just brutal—they were a business. A business with deep ties to the Black Dragon Syndicate.

Jungwon leaned toward you, his voice low, “Welcome to the underworld, Detective.”

You ignored him, scanning the crowd, “Who do we need to talk to?”

Jungwon followed your gaze, spotting a familiar figure near the betting table.

“There. See the guy in the gray suit? That’s Kang Min-sik. He handles the syndicate’s finances—the bets, the payouts, the money laundering.”

You nodded. “Then he’s our way in.”

Jungwon chuckled, “Slow down, pretty. You can’t just walk up to him and start asking questions.”

You turned to him, crossing her arms, "Then what do you suggest?”

Jungwon glanced at the ring, where the current fight was wrapping up. The crowd was hungry for more, the energy in the room electric. His smirk widened.

“We make an entrance.”

Before you could question him, he stepped toward the announcer’s booth, his voice carrying over the noise, “I’m fighting.”

The announcer, a wiry man with a scar over his brow, lit up at the sight of him, “Jungwon! You sure? Last time you nearly put a man in a coma.”

Jungwon just grinned, “Then let’s see if anyone else wants to take the risk.”

The crowd erupted into cheers, and just like that, the stage was set.

You clenched your jaw. You had come here for information, not a spectacle. But as Jungwon stepped toward the ring, rolling his shoulders, your realized something.

Jungwon wasn’t just fighting for show.

He was sending a message.

And every man in this room—including Kang Min-sik—was about to hear it loud and clear.

You stood at the edge of the ring, arms crossed, watching Jungwon like a hawk. You told yourself you weren't impressed. That you didn’t care about his reputation or the way the entire room seemed to gravitate toward him. Or the small anxiousness of him getting hurt.

But when Jungwon stepped into the ring—the lights casting shadows over the sharp angles of his face—you felt something stir.

The crowd roared as his opponent climbed in, a towering brute covered in tattoos. A challenger who clearly thought Jungwon was just another name to add to his kill count.

Jungwon didn’t flinch. Didn’t waver. He only smirked, the same infuriating confidence he always carried, but now it felt different. Like he was proving something—to you.

The bell rang.

The brute charged, swinging a punch meant to take Jungwon’s head off.

But Jungwon was faster. He dodged, fluid and effortless, his movements precise. He ducked under the next swing, landed a brutal counterpunch to the ribs. The punch echoed through the warehouse, and the brute staggered back, gasping.

Your eyes flickered. He was playing with him.

You should have looked away. Should have focused on the mission.

But you didn’t.

Because watching Jungwon fight was like watching something untamed—dangerous but mesmerizing. There was no wasted movement, no hesitation. He was completely in control.

Another punch. A ruthless uppercut. The brute collapsed, unconscious before he hit the ground.

The warehouse erupted in chaos, cheers shaking the walls.

Jungwon turned, searching the crowd, and when his eyes landed on you—he smirked.

You scoffed, arms tightening over your chest, “Show-off.”

He climbed out of the ring, walking toward you, sweat glistening on his skin, knuckles bruised, lip busted, and a few cuts.

“Admit it, you were impressed.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ve seen better.”

Jungwon smiled, “Liar.”

Before you could snap back, a new presence approached. Kang Min-sik, the man you had come here for, was watching Jungwon with a knowing smile.

“Still undefeated, I see,” Kang mused. His gaze flickered to you, “And who’s this?”

Jungwon wiped blood from his knuckles, glancing at you. For a split second, his expression softened, “Someone who needs answers.”

You stepped forward, meeting Kang’s eyes without fear, “And I think you’re going to give them to me.”

Kang laughed, but there was something calculating in his gaze, “Well, now I’m curious. Let’s talk.”

Jungwon leaned in close to your ear, his voice barely above a whisper, “Try not to get us both killed, alright pretty?”

Your eyes met, and for the first time, a genuine laugh escaped your lips. He faltered for a moment before falling into a smile.

"Sure."

You both followed Kang Min-sik through a dimly lit hallway behind the main warehouse, the muffled roars of the crowd fading into the background. The scent of old smoke and sweat clung to the walls, but you kept your focus sharp. This was the moment you had been waiting for.

Kang led you both into a small, lavishly furnished office—a stark contrast to the grunge of the underground fights. A leather couch, expensive whiskey bottles lining the shelves, and a single desk where he took his seat, gesturing for you to do the same.

Jungwon leaned against the wall instead, arms crossed, while you remained standing, you sharp gaze locked onto Kang.

"So," Kang began, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, "what exactly is it that you need from me?"

"My partner was murdered. I have reason to believe the Black Dragon Syndicate was involved. I need names. Connections. Anything you know."

Kang chuckled, shaking his head, "Bold. You storm in here with a notorious fighter at your side and expect me to just hand over information? What makes you think I’d betray my own?"

You didn’t blink, "Because you’re not loyal to anyone but money, and I’m willing to make it worth your while."

Kang raised an eyebrow, intrigued, but before he could respond, Jungwon stepped forward.

"Careful, doll," he murmured, "Men like him don’t just take money. They take leverage."

Kang smirked, "Smart man."

You had known walking into this that Kang wouldn’t just hand you what you wanted. But you also knew you couldn’t walk away empty-handed.

Jungwon sighed, "Alright. Let’s make it simple. She’s not a cop anymore. She’s working for herself. And I vouch for her."

Kang's gaze flicked to Jungwon, "You vouch for her?"

Jungwon hesitated for a brief second before nodding, "Yeah. I do."

you turned to him, surprise flickering in your eyes.

Kang hummed, studying you both, then leaned back, "Interesting."

He tapped his fingers against the desk, "I might have something. But if you want it, there’s a price."

you expected that much, "Name it."

Kang’s lips curled, "A job. There’s a man the syndicate needs… dealt with. Not killed, just taught a lesson. Someone who thinks he can run from his debts. You two take care of it, and I’ll tell you what I know."

you immediately stiffened, "I don’t do dirty work for criminals."

Kang shrugged, "Then you don’t get your information."

You clenched your fists, your pulse spiking with frustration.

Before you could speak, Jungwon let out a slow exhale, "We’ll do it."

you snapped your head toward him in disbelief.

Jungwon met your gaze, You want answers? This is how we get them.

Kang grinned, "I like you, Jungwon. It's not easy to find a reasonable man who knows how to get something he wants."

You bit back a curse, shooting Jungwon a glare. You wanted to fight him on this—wanted to push back—but you knew he was right. You were already deep in this. There was no easy way out.

Kang slid a slip of paper across the desk, "There’s the details. Handle it cleanly, and I’ll give you your lead."

Jungwon took the paper. Turning on your heel, you stormed toward the door. Jungwon followed you, but before he stepped out, Kang called after him.

"You’re playing a dangerous game, Jungwon. Does he know you're doing this?" he tilted his head. Jungwon looks towards your direction, no sign of you.

"I hope you know what you’re doing," he continues.

Jungwon smirked to himself before walking out, "Wouldn’t be fun otherwise."

Jungwon caught up to you, his footsteps deliberate. You spun around, shoving Jungwon against the car with surprising force.

"What the hell was that?" you hissed.

Jungwon, still pinned against the metal, raised an amused brow, "That was me getting you what you wanted. I was expecting a 'Thank you,' but sure, this works fine, pretty."

You glared up at him, your body close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him, "You don’t get to make deals for me."

Jungwon rolled his eyes, "And yet, here we are."

You hated how calm he was. Hated the way he looked at you—like you were some reckless fool who didn’t know how to play the game.

"I can't stand you already," you said, voice low.

Jungwon leaned in slightly, his breath warm against your ear, "Likewise, detective."

For a moment, the anger between you shifted into something else—something charged, electric.

Then you stepped back, snatching the paper from his hands, "Fine. But if you screw this up, I’ll be the one teaching you a lesson."

Jungwon grinned, "Now that’s a fight I’d actually look forward to."

Later, you both headed to a motel for the night. You knew it was only a matter of time before you were chased down and hunted. You needed to stay on the low. You changed into more comfortable clothes, waiting for Jungwon to step out of the shower. You sat at the couch, enjoying a cup of ramen. After a while, he showed up. He took a seat next to you, grabbing your cup of ramen and taking a bite. You furrowed your eyebrows, annoyed.

"Hey—"

You stopped at the sight of his busted lip and other injuries. Your face softened a bit. You sighed, mindlessly grabbing his hand to examine his knuckles. He freezes, looking at you as your fingers brush over his knuckles.

"This looks pretty bad. I'll treat your wounds. Stay right here," You stand up before he could protest.

You come back with the kit, sitting in front of him. You clear your throat, reaching for his hand.

"You don't have to do this, It's nothing serious," He protests.

"Just shut up," you scold.

You're slow and careful with his wounds, the sound of your breathing and Jungwon's soft groans in pain filling the silence. Then, you work your way to his face. You apply ointment to his cuts, softly blowing onto it. You lean closer to his face, treating his busted lip. You look up to meet his gaze, wavering a moment. You both look away and you pack everything up.

"Thanks," he mumbles.

"We should get some sleep. We have a lot of things to do," you suggest.

He nods.

"I'll sleep on the couch," he says, getting comfortable on it.

"Why not on the bed?" You asked.

"There's only one," He replied.

"So?" you raised an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic shy behavior, "I don't care whether or not you're on it."

He blinks, dumbfounded.

You walk into the room, making your way on it. He walks in, slowly making his way under the covers. Once settled, you turn the lamp off on the nightstand. Only the moonlight from the windows illuminates the bedroom.

You shift in bed, finding a comfortable position. You lay on your side, your eyes closed. You hear Jungwon shifting too, before it going all silent. Only the soft sounds of breathing can be heard.

"By the way," he broke the silence softly, "you never told me your name."

You open your eyes. You immediately find his eyes, him laying towards you. Your breath hitched.

"Y/n," you confessed softly, "My name is y/n."

There's a small moment of silence, staring at each other's faces under the moonlight.

"Y/n," he whispers your name tenderly.

You swear you've never loved the way you've heard your name be said before until now. Your favorite sound. Like it was meant for him to be said. Never sounded so correct, so right.

You woke to warmth. It took you a second to remember where you were—the dimly lit motel room, the scratchy motel sheets, the faint hum of traffic outside. But what startled you the most wasn’t the unfamiliarity of the room. It was the arm draped over your waist.

Jungwon.

your breath hitched as you realized how close he was, his body pressed lightly against yours, his warmth seeping through the thin barrier of fabric between you both. His breathing was slow, steady, still deep in sleep. You stiffened. You should move. You needed to move.

But for some reason, you hesitated. You couldn’t. You didn’t want to.

Jungwon, the man who drove you insane, the notorious fighter with an irritatingly charming smile and dimples to die for, felt… different like this. Vulnerable. At peace.

He’s still a criminal, you reminded yourself. A fighter who plays by no rules but his own.

But lying there, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest, it was hard to see him as just that.

your movement must have disturbed him because, within seconds, his grip tightened slightly before his breathing shifted. He stirred, his body tensing as he slowly became aware of your positions.

And then, you heard the smirk in his voice before you even turned to look at him. Your face burned up in embarrassment.

“When you said you didn’t care about me being in bed beside you, i didn’t think it meant to this extent, detective,” he teased.

Your face burned as you shoved his arm off and sat up, scowling at him, “You were the one holding onto me!”

Jungwon stretched lazily, completely unfazed, “I was asleep. You, on the other hand, let it happen.”

Your glare could have melted steel, “I was asleep, you idiot.”

He smiled, sitting up as well, his blonde hair tousled in a way that made him look ridiculously attractive. It was infuriating.

“Relax, Y/n,” he said, voice still husky from sleep, “You were having a nightmare, shifting in your sleep uncomfortably and it didn’t stop until you were close.”

Your face softened.

“Oh…thanks,” you mumbled, before yanking the blanket off and standing up.

Jungwon laughed, low and amused, but he didn’t push it further. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Alright, alright. So, what’s the plan?”

You grabbed your jacket, forcing yourself to focus, “We find Kang Min-sik’s target, deal with him cleanly, and get our information. And after that?”

you turned to face him, your expression serious, “I’ll let you go.”

Jungwon held your gaze for a long moment, something unreadable flickering in his dark eyes.

But then he gave a small smile, “Sure, Detective. Whatever you say.”

And for some reason, you had a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be that simple.

The morning air was crisp as you stepped out of the motel, the scent of rain still lingering from the night before. You walked ahead, your mind sharp despite the exhaustion weighing down on you.

Jungwon followed, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

“You’re quiet,” he noted.

You didn’t look at him, “Just thinking.”

“About how much you enjoyed waking up next to me?” he teased.

You shot him a glare, “About how I’m going to break your nose if you don’t focus.”

Jungwon chuckled, “You’re the cutest when mad.”

The target Kang Min-sik had given you was a man named Park Sung-ho, a mid-level bookie who had been skimming money off the syndicate. He wasn’t dangerous—not in the way true criminals were—but he had crossed the wrong people.

And now, you had to decide how far you were willing to go for the information you needed.

you found him in a rundown café on the outskirts of the city, hunched over a newspaper with a half-finished cup of coffee in front of him. He looked harmless—just a man trying to disappear.

you exhaled, “This feels wrong.”

Jungwon leaned against the wall, watching you, “You knew what this was when you agreed to it.”

“I agreed to handle him, not do the syndicate’s dirty work,” you turned to him, your voice firm.

“We’re not going to hurt him,” you warned.

He reached over to move a hair strand from your face. Jungwon studied you for a second, then smirked, “Guess I’ll have to be the scary one, then.”

Before you could react, Jungwon strolled forward and casually slid into the seat across from Sung-ho. The man tensed immediately, his fingers tightening around his cup.

“I’m not looking for trouble,” Sung-ho muttered.

Jungwon tilted his head, “That’s the problem, isn’t it? Trouble’s looking for you.”

Sung-ho swallowed hard, “Listen, I don’t have the money—”

Jungwon leaned forward, his voice dropping into something low and lethal, “We’re not here for your money. We’re here to give you a message.”

You watched, arms crossed, as Jungwon’s entire demeanor shifted. This wasn’t the reckless fighter you had been dealing with. This was someone else. Someone who knew exactly how to make a man sweat. And you’d be lying if this wasn’t doing something to you in strange ways.

Sung-ho paled, “Please… I have a family.”

Jungwon’s expression didn’t change, but his fingers tapped once against the table, “Then you should’ve thought about that before stealing from people who don’t forgive.”

You exhaled sharply and stepped forward, placing a hand on Jungwon’s shoulder.

“That’s enough,” you said, your voice softer than before. Jungwon glanced up at you, something flickering in his gaze.

But after a moment, he leaned back and sighed, “Lucky you. The detective here has a soft spot for people like you.”

Sung-ho looked between you and Jungwon, eyes wide.

you pulled out a piece of paper and slid it across the table, “You disappear. Tonight. Take your family and leave the country. If the syndicate finds you again, we won’t be able to stop them.”

Sung-ho hesitated, then grabbed the paper. His hands trembled, “Thank you.”

You didn’t respond. You simply turned and walked out, Jungwon following behind you.

Once you were back on the street, he whistled, sulking.

“Didn’t take you for the merciful type. I’m starting to think you’re just nice to any man who isn’t me,” he shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking the rocks on the floor.

You shot him a look, confused, “And I didn’t take you for the type to play the villain so well.”

Jungwon shrugged, “I’m full of surprises.”

“oh, yeah?” you tried to meet his avoidant gaze.

was he…mad?

You walked in silence for a moment before he glanced at you again, “You know Kang’s not going to like this, right?”

you exhaled, “I don’t care what Kang likes. He gave us a job, and it’s done.”

Jungwon stared at you for a moment before breaking into a soft smile, “God, you’re stubborn.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his dimples, “You’re just figuring that out?”

His smile widened, but there was something different in his expression this time. Something closer to admiration.

As you made your way back to Kang Min-sik, you couldn’t ignore the shift between you both. The line between enemies and allies was already beginning to blur. And that was dangerous.

By the time you both returned to Kang Min-sik’s hideout, the air between you and Jungwon had changed. It wasn’t just the usual tension anymore—it was something heavier, something unspoken.

Kang was lounging in his leather chair when you walked in, a glass of whiskey in hand. He didn’t even bother looking up right away, his attention focused on the flickering television in the corner. When he finally did acknowledge you, it was with a slow, lazy smirk.

“You’re back early,” he mused, swirling the drink in his glass. “That means one of two things—either the job went smooth, or you decided to get creative.”

You crossed your arms, “The job is done.”

Kang arched a brow, glancing at Jungwon, “Is that so?”

Jungwon shrugged, all casual arrogance, “The guy got the message loud and clear. He won’t be a problem anymore.”

Kang studied you both for a long moment, tapping his fingers against the desk.

“Funny,” he murmured, “Because I heard a different story.”

Your spine stiffened. You should have known Kang would have eyes everywhere.

“I hear,” Kang continued, “that instead of teaching him a lesson, you let him go. Gave him a nice little escape route.”

He titled his head, “is that true?”

You held his gaze without flinching, “You wanted him dealt with. He’s gone. That’s all that matters.”

Kang’s smirk faded. “No, sweetheart. That’s not all that matters.”

Before you could react, one of Kang’s men moved. A blur of motion—faster than you expected. A blade flashed, aiming straight for your throat.

But Jungwon was faster.

In an instant, he grabbed the man’s wrist, twisting it sharply. The knife clattered to the floor, and before the attacker could react, Jungwon drove his fist into his ribs. The man doubled over with a pained grunt.

The room went still. The sound of liquid trickling onto the floor filled the room. You looked over to Jungwon, his palm was dripping in blood from the huge slit he got from the knife.

Your heart pounded, but your expression remained stone-cold.

Kang let out a slow exhale, standing up. “Impressive,” he murmured, “You’ve still got it, Jungwon.”

Jungwon glanced at his hand like he wasn’t affected, “You knew what you were getting when you asked for my help.”

Kang chuckled, but his amusement didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. I did.” He glanced at you, “And you, detective—I should’ve known you’d pull something like this.”

You lifted your chin, “Are you giving us our information or not?”

Kang studied you for a long moment before finally sighing, “You’ve got guts. I’ll give you that.”

He turned, grabbing a folder from his desk and tossing it toward you.

You caught it.

“There’s your lead,” Kang said. “But I’d watch my back if I were you. You made a lot of people unhappy today.”

You didn’t respond. You simply opened the folder, scanning the contents. Names, addresses, connections—pieces of the puzzle you had been chasing.

You looked up at Jungwon, who had gone unusually quiet. His jaw was tight, his fists still clenched.

what’s up with him?

“We’re done here,” you said, turning to leave.

But before you could step out, Kang’s voice stopped you.

“One last thing.”

You turned back.

Kang smirked, “You two make an interesting pair. Almost as if you trust in each other. That’s too bad.”

You furrowed your eyebrows but neither of you responded.

Kang’s smirk widened, “Careful with that. Trust is dangerous in this world. Especially when you think you have the other person all figured out.”

The night air was cold when you stepped out of the building, but you barely felt it. You clutched the folder tightly, your mind racing with the information inside. Jungwon was speeding ahead of you, you walked faster to catch up.

“Jungwon, wait! what’s up with you?” you called out to him.

Jungwon exhaled sharply beside you, “That could’ve gone worse.”

You examined him, “But it didn’t.”

He let out a low chuckle, anger plastered on his face, “You’ve got a bad habit of pissing off dangerous people.”

Trying to deescalate the situation, you smirked playfully, “You’re one of them.”

Jungwon turned to you, something unreadable in his expression. “Yeah,” he murmured, “I guess I am.”

He kept walking, your face fell to a frown. You held your breath. You grabbed his hand.

“What’s wrong with you!”

“Nothing!” he shouted.

Your eyes glanced down at the blood smudging on your hands as you hold his.

You shook your head, “this won’t do. Let’s go back to the motel to treat your wound.”

Before you could move, he yanked his hand from your grip.

“I don’t need your help,” he murmured, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Anyway, you have your leads and clues now, so this is over,” he locks eyes with you.

“This isn’t over. We haven’t even found the real culprit yet!”

“You can handle yourself perfectly fine!” He retorted.

“Stop…dragging me into this mess more than you have. Because of this, word is probably out about me being involved in this. Everything is on the line. My career. My reputation. Everything,” he continues, stepping closer to you.

The thought of being so close to finding out the long-awaited truth just for him to back out is killing you. You’re so close yet so far. And as much as you know you can handle yourself, you wouldn’t have gone this far without Jungwon. And you hated the thought of relying on him more than you thought you would.

“Jungwon,” you reached out for him, “I still need you. Please, we’re so close.”

Jungwon’s eyes flickered in something unreadable. He stepped impossibly closer to you. You could feel his heat radiating off him.

“Don’t…say stuff like that,” he fumed, “I can’t stand it. I can’t stand you a second longer.”

You looked up at him, meeting his gaze. With all the anger and confusion that went through your veins, you let impulsivity take ahold of you.

“God I hate you so much, Jungwon,” you hissed, before leaning in to kiss him.

A million bolts of adrenaline fired up within you, sighing against the kiss.

Jungwon took his hands out of his pocket, cupping your face with his bloody hands to deepen the kiss. His response was urgent, desperate, and yet so tender. You both forgot how to breathe, too focused on your lips on each other to worry about taking a single break from tasting each other.

And then, finally, you broke away to catch your breath. Small pants came from one another, processing what just happened. Jungwon leaned in almost immediately after breathing to give you small and slow pecks onto your lips, refusing to be away from you. You smiled against the kisses, trying to move away but he locked you against him with his arm around your waist.

“Jungwon, stop it. Let’s go treat your wounds, okay?”

“Okay, but i’ll drive,” he stated, grabbing the keys from your pockets.

The moment the door shut closed behind Jungwon, he quickly captured your lips. Caught off guard, you stumbled back against the wall, a soft thud in result. You softly groaned against his lips, grasping onto his shirt. Jungwons hands travel down to your waist, his fingers sliding under your shirt to touch your bare skin. Your heart fluttered at the sudden contact. The kiss was now sloppy, hot, and desperate. He lifted you against him without breaking the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck. He blindly carried you to the bedroom, softly laying you on top of the bed. You sat up slightly, going further into the bed.

You felt like prey, the look in his eyes eliciting a lewd response from you. He took off his jacket before his shirt, he crawled slowly onto the bed. Eyeing you down dangerously. He hovered over you, kissing you slowly. He tugged at your shirt before helping you take it off. You tossed it aside along with the other clothes. He left hot wet kisses along your neck, trailing down to your chest. His big hands wandered across your body, resting to cup your breasts slowly. He sucks and bites the skin of your neck and collarbone before leaving more love bites onto your breasts. You let out small airy moans, gripping onto his hair. He unclasped your bra, tossing it aside.

He kisses you once more, “You’re so beautiful, it’s driving me insane.”

Your hands slowly glide against his bare chest, feeling him as he sucks onto the sensitive buds of your breasts. A warm pulse between your legs becoming gradually unbearable.

He pulls away, playing with the hem of your pants. You nod, allowing him to slide it off. You shyly tighten your legs together, embarrassed of how damp your panties are from the arousal. As if he couldn’t get any harder, the sight of you under him, wet just for him, made his cock ache. He forcefully pulled your legs apart before settling in between them. He leaned over to kiss you, hungrily. His bulge rubbing against you, creating torturous friction. You moaned, your hips subconsciously bucking up to feel more of him. He groaned against the kiss, his cock begging to be released from his tight pants.

“Jungwon, please,” you tugged onto his pants.

“Please what, y/n?” He teased, slowly grinding his hips into you.

“Stop fucking teasing,”you replied, becoming frustrated by the second.

He smiled before quickly standing up to unbuckle his belt and slid what was left of him off. Your eyes swallow the sight of him whole. He slowly pulls off your wet panties down your legs. He leaves a trail of wet kisses down your stomach. Finally, he envelops your clit into his mouth. The sensation rushed right through your body, causing a yelp in pleasure to escape from you. You reach out to him, gripping onto him as he savors you. Lewd wet sounds fill the room.

“oh, fuck—oh, Jungwon…” you moaned, biting your lip in hopes to keep quiet.

He pulls away, aligning his twitching cock between your wet folds. He rubs it in a bit, slow and deliberate.

you groan, “I can’t wait any longer…”

“What was that, detective? Couldn’t hear you…” he taunted.

“oh, you asshol—!” you argued, but quickly cut yourself off with a moan at the feeling of Jungwon pushing himself into you.

You felt like you were being filled up. So full.

He was slow, gentle, yet unforgiving.

Once all the way in, he leaned over to give you a sloppy kiss.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

You shake your head, softly whining at the stuffed feeling.

He smirked, pulling his hips back before pushing back in. He moved slowly at first, waiting till you adjusted to him. His face flinched in pleasure, your tight grip onto his cock driving him crazy. He cursed under his breath, picking up his pace. He threw one leg over his shoulder, wrapping his arm around it to secure. His hips snapped against yours, hitting spots deep within you. You moaned loudly, gripping onto the sheets beneath you in ecstasy.

“fuck…you’re taking me so good, pretty,” he whispered, admiring your fucked-out face.

“so pretty, just like this,” he continued, pressing a hand on your lower stomach, feeling where his cock thrusted within you.

“oh my—mhm,” you choked out, your mouth falling agape at the overwhelming sensation.

He let go of your leg, towering over you in missionary. He used his arm for support, kissing you tenderly. He left soft kisses onto your neck and jawline as he continued to thrust into you. The sound of leather jackets hitting the ground and lewd sounds filling the room.

“Not so bossy now, are you, detective?” he laughed, his voice coarse and airy.

“I still hate yo—!” you attempted to argue, but instantly failed at the feeling of Jungwon going deeper—faster.

“Shut up and take my cock,” he groaned, fisting your hair before slightly pulling your head back.

Your eyes rolled back, digging your nails onto his back. You clenched around him, approaching your high.

“So fucking pretty, my cockdrunk slut,” he grunted, his eyes locking with yours.

You stared back into his, feeling a knot begin to form in your stomach. It was all to intimate—too much to handle, yet neither of you could look away. Too scared as if to lose this special moment, this undeniable connection.

You cupped his cheek, glancing at his lips. Jungwon leaned in, kissing you lovingly.

“M’gonna cum,” you whined against his lips, wrapping your legs tighter around him.

“Me too,” he exhaled.

He quickened his pace, cursing under his breath. Finally, you let out one last yelp in pleasure, shaking violently against him as you reached your high. His cock twitched shortly after, filling you up entirely. He moaned your name like small prayers, thrusting a few more times to ride out the high. Then, he drops beside you. Sweating and panting, you both close your eyes and catch your breath. Lying on his stomach, he opens his eyes to face you. He meets your softly asleep expression and the way your chest rose and fell. He smiles to himself, finding it cute how fast you fell asleep. He reached to push out a strand of your hair from your face delicately, mesmerizing by your beauty. Wholeheartedly, just you. He loved the sound of your soft breathing, the smell of your hair, the warmth of your touch, and how perfectly you fit right in his arms. Like you were meant to be there for him. Just for him.

He scoot closer, wrapping you in his arms gently. You stirred softly in your sleep before snuggling up into his warm chest. He smiled, looking at you shift for a comfortable position. He analyzed your face until his eyes became heavy. He kissed your forehead before falling into a deep sleep of his own.

The next day, you hadn’t realized how long you fell asleep for. Your eyes flickered open at the stinging sensation of the sun. You looked around gently, finding yourself entangled in Jungwons arms. Your eyes widen as memories of the previous night flashed before your eyes. You freeze as he softly stirs in his sleep, groaning. Once it’s safe, you carefully and slowly manage to release yourself from his grip. You tip-toed across the room, picking up your pants from the floor. You hurriedly put them on, as you rushed down the hallway.

“Crazy,” you whispered to yourself scoldingly, “you must’ve gone crazy, Y/n!”

You threw on his jacket and put your shoes on before grabbing the keys from the table. You made yourself outside the motel, turning on the car. You sit there, recalling every single touch given to each other. You could still feel his lips on your body, his big and warm hands gripping onto your ass, and how broad his back felt as you scratched onto it. You groaned, resting your head onto the steering wheel in frustration.

How were you supposed to face him now? What is there to say after that?

You know you should ignore it, disregard it as a moment of weakness and desire, but you know it’s far much more than that. At least for you.

Jungwon reached out for you absentmindedly, only to be meet with a cold, empty, spot. He quickly sat up, looking around the room. Your clothes weren’t on the floor, the door was opened, and no sound of you. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y/n?” he called out, putting on his pants.

No response.

He walked into the hallway, opening the bathroom door to check.

no one there.

He went into the living room, then the kitchen. He finally pieced it together. But then, the front door opened. He whipped his head around to catch your figure.

You held a plastic bag from the store and a nervous expression.

You tossed the keys onto the table.

“Y-you’re up…” you broke the suffocating silence.

You focused your attention onto the materials in the bag, trying to ignore his piercing gaze—and his unusual silence.

You took out the bandages and alcohol solution to treat his wounds.

“These are for you…we didn’t get to treat it yesterday so I—” You froze at Jungwon’s lips onto yours.

He cupped your face, pressing his body up against you. You lose your balance, your back hitting the wall. You softly moan against his lips, attempting to push him away but he deepens the kiss. You stop fighting it, gripping onto him tightly as you close your eyes and melt into him.

You break the kiss to catch your breath, your gazes meet. He glances down at your swollen lips. He leans in again, as if trying to devour you whole. You stop him, signaling to the table.

“Let’s get your wound treated first,” you swallowed, “please.”

“fine,” he mumbled, plopping himself onto the chair.

You let out a shaky exhale, sitting down in front of him. You open the contents, treating his wound delicately. His face would flinch here and there, but no sound. Jungwon observed you intently, as if watching an art piece. He couldn’t help it, and it frustrated him so much. He glanced down at his jacket you’re wearing. A small smiled crept onto his face, a prideful feeling in his chest arising at the sight of it.

You looked at his direction, realizing you’re wearing his jacket.

“Oh, i’m sorry…I grabbed the nearest jacket and i didn’t notice it was yours…”

“I don’t mind. It suits you better,” he smirked.

You blinked, dumbfounded.

After you finished treating his wound, you got up.

“We should get some days to rest…I’ve found the place and time that will lead us to Mr. Yang.”

He stiffened a bit before nodding.

You told yourself it would be the first and last time, that the first time was just a mistake, that you found him annoying, and that you couldn’t stand him.

Yet, you found yourself for the next few days in his arms over and over again, his lips worshiping your body, and his cock deep within you.

You both argue, fight, but end up making love to each other at the end of the day. It was a predictable, frustrating, routine. One which you both felt frustrated by but couldn’t change even if you wanted to. Because you both knew; you liked this more than you expressed.

And tonight, was just another one of those moments.

“ngh…fuck, Jungwon,” you moaned, riding his cock on the living room couch.

He looked up at you with his half-lidded gaze, immersed into the pleasure you gave him. His strong arms rested onto your ass, gripping and pulling it towards his cock every now and then.

“fuck, pretty, just like that,” he groaned, throwing his head back.

You bounced on his cock, your breasts mimicking your movement. Your moans became more persistent as you felt your orgasm approach. The room was filled with heavy breathing and the sound of skin. You were so adjusted to him, that he could easily slide in and out from you. It drove him crazy.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him sloppily. He returned the kiss almost immediately, locking you tightly against him with one arms around your waist and the other up your back. And then, he thrusted upward, forcing you to take every single each of him.

You yelped in pleasure, gripping onto his shoulder for support.

“You can take it, baby,” he cooed, watching your mouth fall agape.

You nodded insistently, biting back curses. Tears swelled the corner of your eyes, the pleasure becoming more and more intense.

“Jungwon I’m…” You cried out, digging your nails into his skin.

“I know, baby,” he moaned, “you’re taking me so fucking good…”

A ring of your cream built around his shaft, his cock glistening from how wet you are.

He slapped your ass harshly, leaving a permanent mark onto it. You whimpered, digging your nails into his shoulders. You clenched around him, his twitching cock begging for release.

And then, with a final thrust, you both come undone. He groans your name before coating your velvet walls with warmth. You shook vigorously, falling onto him in exhaustion. Panting, he welcomes you in his arms, embracing you.

You stirred softly in your sleep, slowly opening your eyes at the light of your phone turning on. You looked around, careful to not wake up Jungwon—who was sleeping peacefully in your arms. You felt a warm feeling in your heart at the sight of him. You reached for your phone from the nightstand. Your eyes gazed over the message from an unknown number.

‘Find the phone booth.’

The neon glow of the city flickered in the rain-soaked streets as you paced outside the dingy motel. You made your way inside the phone booth, just outside your motel room. You pressed the ringing phone to your ear. Static crackled on the other end before a voice—gruff and familiar—cut through.

“You’re in over your head, Detective."

Your grip on the phone tightened, “Then why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?"

A long pause.

“Mr. Yang. He’s a ghost. You won’t find him unless he wants to be found.”

"Good thing I make a habit of pissing off men like him,” you stated.

"And that’s exactly why you’re about to get yourself killed."

You exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over your face, “I don’t have time for riddles. My partner is dead, and I’m going to find out who put the bullet in his head—"

"Then stop looking where you shouldn’t."

Your face twitched, "What the hell does that mean?"

“See that key on top of the phone box? Take it to the mailbox. Go alone. And…” he warned, “Don’t show Jungwon.”

“What? why?”

The line went dead.

You lowered the phone, unease twisting in your gut. Something wasn’t adding up. Someone was playing you, nudging you closer to the edge of a trap you couldn’t see.

And the worst part?

You had a sinking feeling that Jungwon knew more than he was telling you.

You turned, heading to motel’s unit mailboxes. You opened the corresponding box with the key. Your hands trembled as you pulled the white envelope out, labeled with red pen ‘Y/N.’

You opened it to reveal various photos.

But, they weren’t just photos. They were surveillance footage snapshots of Jungwon.

The days and time leading to the murder and of the murder. At the same place of the crime scene.

Your blood runs cold and you feel yourself sick. You swallow hard, ignoring the familiar sting in your eyes and ache in your heart. But most of all, the boiling coursing through your veins.

No, this couldn’t be. Jungwon wouldn’t…?

Why was he there? Has he been lying to you this whole time? stringing you along?

The weight of the realization crushed you. You looked over at the glistening fire pit inside a metal can. You threw the pictures in. You made your way back inside. As you walked down the hallway, you felt sicker and sicker.

What does those photos mean? why should I trust him? Should I confront him? What should I even do?

You froze outside the bedroom door. Your hand hovered over the doorknob, hesitant. Then, you slowly opened it.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands clasped together, his expression unreadable. The room smelled like rain and worn-out tension, like two people teetering between trust and betrayal.

"Who was that?" he asked.

You hesitated, looking over at the window with shifted blinds. He must’ve heard the phone ring…and saw me out there.

You flashed a soft smile, “An old friend. Says I should stop looking.”

Jungwon’s jaw tightened but then relaxes, returning a teasing smile, "Maybe you should listen."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "You sound just like him."

He gets up to walk over to you, placing a tender kiss onto your lips, "And maybe that should tell you something."

And although you knew those words were teasing and light, you couldn’t help but to feel as if there was a deeper meaning to it.

The words hung between you, heavy and unspoken.

For the first time, you wondered if Jungwon was trying to protect you—Or if he was keeping you from the truth.

So you waited, watching.

You both went to the boxing gym he practiced at. This was the ways he wasted his time, so you accompanied him. He rented out a private room, claiming he needed to focus. So there you were, sitting on the mini couch in the corner, watching as he boxed away all his thoughts and feelings onto the bag. You tried to focus on your phone, but your eyes kept finding their way back to his figure. He was panting, a determined look on his face, and his forehead sweaty. It turned you on, weirdly enough. Your mind drifting off to many dirty fantasies. Jungwon looked over to you, catching your gaze.

“What is it, pretty?” He asked, walking over to you.

You shifted in your seat, embarrassed. He tossed his boxing gloves onto the couch.

“Nothing,” you lied.

He narrowed his eyes on you suspiciously, lifting his eyebrows in a flirty manner. You could tell he was frustrated from his boxing performance, you saw the irritation on his face when he missed something.

“Don’t lie,” he warned, gripping your face to look at him.

You batted your eyelashes at him, innocently. Albeit to the many fantasies flashing through your mind at the moment just at the sight of him.

He tilted his head slightly, examining you. His thumb made its way into your mouth, coating it with your salvia. You suck on it softly, to tease. His face flinches, a bulge growing in his pants. He lets out a low chuckle. He leans down to kiss you, slowly. You lean back onto the couch, allowing him to tower over you, his leg between your thighs and his arms resting on either side of you. You sigh against his lips, melting into him. He kisses you deliberately slow, passionately, as if to drive you mad. And it was working.

His hot, wet kisses trailed down your jawline up till your neck. You softly moaned, incapable of thinking rationally. You looked at the door through your half-lidded eyes, the fear of being caught arousing you. He lifts off your shirt, you let him. He tosses it onto the floor, cupping your breasts that sat so pretty in your laced bra.

“My God,” he mumbled, “I can never get enough of you.”

He recaptures your lips once again, his hand trailing down your bare waist to grip your ass. You whimper against his lips, your panties feeling soaked. Breathless, he pulls away.

“Get on all fours. Now,” he demanded.

You nod, pushing yourself further onto the couch. You take off your pants, tossing them alongside his pants and other clothes on the floor. You get on all fours, your cunt aching to be filled by him.

He goes behind you, giving you a harsh slap on your ass before pulling down your wet panties. Your hips moved closer to him, pressing against his throbbing cock. He griped onto your hips tightly.

“So desperate for me, aren’t you?” he teased, rubbing his dick between your wet folds.

He cursed under his breath, pushing into you with a harsh thrust. You cried out, gripping onto the couch for balance. He started to rock his hips against you, his pace deliberate and hard. You could tell something was on his mind, and he was using you to release all the pent-up emotions he had. But you didn’t mind.

The sound of skin filled the room, but it wasn’t louder than the people outside the room. Your moans were broken, the air taken out from you as Jungwon pushed his cock further into you. He was filling you up so good.

His pace quickened, he reached for your hair, pulling it back to deepen his cock within you.

“Take it like a good girl, I know you can do it, detective,” he cooed, watching as you struggled to form words.

Your moans became louder, the pleasure becoming intense the more he hit the deep spots. Tears formed the corner of your eyes, you were drowning in pleasure. You didn’t want this to stop.

Jungwon softly shushed you, “Do you want everyone out there to know you’re getting slut out by me?”

You shook your head, whimpering in attempt to bite back your sounds. He lets go of your hair harshly, the mess of your hair and makeup arousing him.

“fuck,” he groaned, “look at you. Such a gorgeous mess.”

His hips snapped against your hand-marked ass, tears falling down your face. You’re a moaning mess, uncontrollable panting and incoherent words. Jungwon grabbed a boxing glove, placing it in front of your mouth.

“Open,” he demanded before stuffing your mouth with it. You bit down on it, hard.

His pace was merciless, pounding into you till your legs trembled. Your loud cries were muffled against the glove, your eyes rolling back into your head as he repeatedly hit your spot. Tears dripped down your chin.

He fucked his anger out on you, focusing on where your dick entered and slid out your cunt. His breath rigid and unstable. He cursed under his breath, throwing his head back. He leaned forward to harshly press you against the couch, arching your back for him.

This new position brought you to the stars. Jungwon let out a loud groan, slowing down only momentarily to thrust harder into you.

“i’ma fucking cum,” he grunted, pressing you harder into the couch the closer he got.

You only whimpered in response, feeling your legs violently shake as you became closer to your orgasm.

“Fuck,” he breathes, releasing his warm load inside of you.

Your eyes roll back, letting out one last moan before coming undone. Your legs immediately give out, falling onto the couch. You both laid there, entangled in each other’s arms till you were ready to go home.

The underground fight club reeked of sweat, blood, and desperation. The crowd roared around the cage as two men beat each other senseless under the flickering overhead lights. You stood at the edge of the chaos, hidden in the shadows, your gaze locked onto one man.

Jungwon.

You followed him here, the middle of the night, after kissing you on the forehead while you were “sleeping.”

He moved like a predator—fluid, precise, devastating. With a swift hook, he sent his opponent crashing to the ground. The bell rang, signaling his victory, but he barely acknowledged the cheers. Instead, his gaze flickered to the edge of the ring—where a man in a black suit surrounded by countless bodyguards sat, watching. A face I couldn’t manage to see beyond the countless of people.

Your hands curled into fists. Who was he meeting in secret like this? Surely it isn’t to fight, he didn’t seem to enjoy it a bit in the ring. Why is he doing this?

And then, it clicks.

You had spent weeks tracking down leads on your partner’s murder, and every single road led back to this place. To the crime syndicate Mr. Yang ran. To the fights Jungwon couldn’t seem to walk away from.

And now, you knew why.

“He’s…meeting Mr. Yang,” you whispered to yourself. Realization crashing down onto you mercilessly.

As Jungwon exited the cage, wiping blood from his knuckles, Mr. Yang gestured for him to come closer. You pressed yourself against the wall, listening intently.

"You’ve done well," He mused, swirling a glass of whiskey in his hand, “But you and I both know fights like these won’t get you what you really want."

Jungwon didn’t reply. Your eyebrows furrowed.

Mr. Yang smirked, “I hear your detective has been getting too close. Poking around where she doesn’t belong. Looking for me?”

Your heart pounded.

"Leave her out of this," Jungwon said, voice cold.

Mr. Yang let out a low chuckle, “Oh, Jungwon. You don’t really believe you can protect her, do you?"

He leaned forward, his expression turning lethal, "Your little girlfriend is a problem. And problems need to be handled. You know this.”

A muscle in Jungwon’s jaw twitched, “What do you want, Seokjin?"

Seokjin smirk widened, "Y/n."

He took a slow sip of his drink before setting it down. "I’ll make it simple for you. You deliver Y/n to me. Alive. I’ll make sure she disappears, without a trace. No pain. No struggle. Just gone."

Your breath caught in your throat. You catch a glimpse of his face.

"You want me to turn her over to you?" Jungwon asked, the weight of it suffocating. "What happens if I refuse?"

Seokjin’s eyes turned colder, "You’ll make her an enemy, and you’ll be forced to kill her yourself. Your choice."

Jungwon clenched his jaw, the words burning like acid, “I’m not killing her."

Seokjin’s smile widened, “Then you’ll do what I say. It’s simple, little brother. You give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you need. Y/n will be safe. I’ll make sure of it."

Jungwon’s hands trembled, but he kept his face neutral. He wasn’t afraid of Seokjin. He was afraid of what he would become if he gave in. But there was no choice. Your life was in the balance.

"I’ll do it," Jungwon said quietly, “But this is the last thing I ever do for you."

Seokjin’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction, “I’ll hold you to that."

As Jungwon turned away, the weight of the decision hit him like a punch to the gut. He wasn’t just betraying you. He was betraying everything he had ever believed in.

His undeniable love for you, in which he held dearly.

And for what? To save your life. At least, that’s what he told himself.

But deep down, he knew that the moment he betrayed your trust, he would lose you forever.

He couldn’t look Seokjin in the eye any longer—not after the ultimatum, not after hearing those words, but just as he turned toward the exit, the harsh whisper of a breath cut through the air.

“I heard everything.”

Your voice sent a shockwave through him. His blood ran cold.

Your figure emerged from the shadows at the far end of the club, standing near the entrance with your gun still holstered at your side, but your expression was a mix of disbelief and crushing disappointment. Your eyes bore into his, like daggers, each one colder than the last.

Jungwon froze, his throat tightening. He had no idea how long you had been there, how much of the conversation you’ve overheard. But one thing was certain—everything had changed in that moment.

The distance between you both had just been measured in miles, and it felt like an ocean had opened up.

“Y/n…” His voice cracked despite himself. He couldn’t bring himself to take a step toward you. How could he? How could he explain this?

You didn’t move, your stance unyielding, "How long, Jungwon?”

Your voice was low, controlled, but there was a tremor in it, one that echoed deep inside him. Memories of all the moments you’ve spent together flashing before your angry eyes.

"How long were you planning to keep this from me?" you fought back the tears threatening to form in your eyes.

His eyes flickered between Seokjin, who stood silently, watching the scene unfold with a smug satisfaction, and you.

"I didn’t want you to know,” He hated the weakness in his voice, “I didn’t want you to be part of this."

"Part of this?" You laughed bitterly, though it didn’t sound like humor. It sounded like a wound being ripped open.

"You don’t get to decide that. I’ve been part of this from the very start. Every decision you’ve made, every lie you’ve told—I've been there. Has everything been in a lie?”

“No, I—”

“You think you were protecting me, huh? By keeping me in the dark? You think you’re a hero here?!” you shouted, your hands trembling in rage.

Your eyes were hard, unforgiving.

Jungwon clenched his jaw, but the words wouldn’t come. What could he say?

That he had betrayed you to save you? That in his twisted logic, letting you hate him would keep you alive?

He didn’t know if he could even convince himself of that anymore.

“You knew,” you whispered, “You knew what would happen to me the moment you decided to carry out this lie. You knew how much it meant to me! You knew you were signing my death sentence, but you still did it. You still betrayed me.”

His breath caught in his throat. You were right, and he knew it. Every excuse he had built up, every lie he had told himself to justify his actions shattered in that moment, leaving nothing but the truth. He had given you up to protect you... but in doing so, he had destroyed everything you’ve both built. Every kiss, every touch, every lingering gaze, every passionate night, the subtle phases. Everything.

"Y/n, listen—”

"No," you cut him off, your voice breaking.

The gun at your side glinted in the low light as you took a step forward, but this time, it wasn’t aimed at him. It was held loosely, the weight of it feeling heavier than anything you’ve ever felt.

“You don’t get to apologize now. You don’t get to fix this. You made your choice,” you hissed.

Seokjin finally spoke, his voice a chilling interruption, "She’s right, Jungwon. You’ve chosen your side. The moment you decided to play hero, you sealed your fate—and hers."

Your gaze shifted toward Seokjin, icy fury radiating from you, "You. I’m not afraid of you."

Seokjin raised his hands up, a mocking smirk on his face.

"You’re just a coward hiding behind your power, your money. You don’t control me,” you fumed.

Seokjin smiled, but there was no warmth in it—only a cold satisfaction, "I control everything. Including your fate, Detective."

You didn’t flinch. You took another step toward him, your eyes never leaving Seokjin’s, “Then come at me."

Jungwon’s heart sank as he watched you stand your ground, the fire in your eyes only growing stronger. You had no idea what you were dealing with. Seokjin wasn’t just a criminal—he was the mastermind, the puppet master who pulled every string in their world. And right now, he held all the cards.

But as you locked eyes with him, something shifted inside Jungwon. The familiar, heavy weight of guilt and regret flooded over him, and suddenly, it wasn’t about Seokjin anymore. It wasn’t about the choice he had made or the lies he’d told.

It was about you. He was so ardently in love with you.

The words exchanged between you both hit him harder than any punch could. You had never looked at him like that—never with such raw hurt and betrayal.

You turned to look back at Seokjin, but he was no longer in sight. Just a bunch of bodyguards.

"Where is he?" you asked, your voice steady despite the unease curling in your gut.

Jungwon didn’t answer right away. He just stared at you, his jaw tight, hands curled into fists.

"Jungwon," you warned.

"You need to leave," he said finally.

Your brows furrowed, “What?"

“Right now. Walk away and don’t look back."

A cold chill ran through you, “Why the hell would I do that?"

A low voice echoed from behind you, "Because you were never supposed to make it this far, Detective."

You whirled around, your gun drawn, but before you could react, strong hands gripped your arms, yanking you backward.

Jungwon didn’t move from his place, tightly having his hand fisted to prevent him from interfering. He looked away, couldn’t bare the sight of betraying you evermore.

Rage ignited inside you, hot and consuming, “You set me up."

You struggled against the men restraining you, fury twisting in your chest, “you bastard!”

Jungwon finally looked at you then, something unreadable in his gaze, "I’m sorry."

But you didn’t believe him. You couldn’t.

Because the man standing before you wasn’t the Jungwon you thought you knew. He was just another enemy. Another bittersweet memory.

The sharp sting of metal bit into your wrists as you struggled against the cuffs, your pulse hammering in your ears. The cold cement floor beneath you sent a chill up your spine, but it was nothing compared to the ice in your veins as you replayed the moment Jungwon betrayed you.

The moment he handed you over to his older brother, Seokjin Yang. The one you’ve been looking since the start.

Days had passed, and each one even worse than the other. Jungwon had returned home, where he was originally from, in Seokjins mansion. Where you were held captive, underground. It was a harsh awakening, to see that all this time you’ve known a version of him that wasn’t true.

But he didn’t try to correct you, nor open up about it either. And he technically didn’t lie, he wasn’t who you was looking for. But he knew…all this time. He stringed you along. He played with your feelings.

But it wasn’t the last time you’ve seen him. He would come down, everyday, with food trays and clothes. He looked different than when you first met him. He was properly clothed, his basic outfit probably costing a fortune. It was a bitter reminder that you hadn’t known him at all. He was just a rich, corrupt, boy after all.

And the family of your partner’s murderer.

He looked at the other untouched food trays from the previous days. He sighed, kneeling in front of you. You looked away, couldn’t bear the sight of him.

“You need to eat,” he urged angrily, “are you trying to kill yourself?”

You glared at him, your face pale and beads of sweat grouping on your forehead. Small cuts on your face and bruises on your body.

‘you did this to me,’ you thought.

You stayed silent. His expression softened, guilt plastered across his face. He placed the tray on the ground in front of you.

“Y/n, I know you’re angry, you have every right to be,” he pleaded, “but please. I beg you, eat something. At least drink some water.”

He grabbed a bottle of water and opened it, he pressed it to your lips. You hesitated at first, but then took a long sip. You brought your swollen wrists up to your mouth, wiping away dripping water.

His lip twitched into a hopeful smile. He grabbed a spoonful of hot soup, bringing it up to your lips. He blew on it before letting you swallow it.

But then, you spit it back to his face.

“I don’t want it,” you said coldly, “don’t show your face in front of me again. I don’t want to see you.”

He wiped off the food from his face with his shirt, revealing his bare chest. Your eyes flickered, memories of the intimacy you both once shared flashing for a split second.

The bodyguard at the door checked in and saw the scene. He came closer, ready to attack. Jungwon extended his hand, signaling to stop.

“Im fine. I provoked her,” he defended. He stood up, looking at me once more before turning to leave.

“I’ll be back,” he stated, “please eat.”

He didn’t come back for the rest of the day. You were slowly becoming impatient. You needed to leave.

How long were you going to stay like this? Helpless? You needed to leave.

Seokjins men paced outside the locked room, their voices low and guarded. They thought you were helpless. Powerless.

They had no idea who they were dealing with.

You forced yourself to stay still, controlling your breathing. Then, with one swift motion, you dislocated your thumb, ignoring the sharp pain as you wrenched your hand free from the cuffs. Blood trickled down your wrist, but you didn’t care. You had one goal.

Survive.

And then, make the Yang family pay.

You moved quickly, silently. One of Kang’s guards turned just in time to see you launch at him. Your elbow slammed into his throat, cutting off his air before he could sound the alarm. His gun clattered to the floor, and you caught it in one smooth motion, spinning just as another guard rushed toward you.

Two shots. Two bodies down.

The door burst open. You raised your weapon—

But it was him.

Jungwon stood in the doorway, breathing hard, his gun still lowered at his side. His dark eyes flickered between the unconscious men on the ground and you, standing there with a gun aimed at his chest.

For a moment, neither of you moved.

And for a moment, you had a flashback to the night you first met. You guys started like this, and now it seems like you’ll end like this.

Then your finger tightened on the trigger, “Give me one reason I shouldn’t shoot you right now."

Jungwon didn’t flinch. Didn’t even blink.

He exhaled slowly, stepping forward, “Because if you do, you’ll never know the whole truth."

Your hands trembled, anger and betrayal warring inside you, "You don’t get to talk about the truth. Not after what you did."

His jaw clenched, “I had no choice."

"There is always a choice, Jungwon."

Something flickered in his eyes—regret, guilt, something deeper. But you weren’t ready to listen. Not yet.

"Move," you ordered, keeping the gun trained on him.

“No,” he said, standing in front of the gun. But as you brushed past him, his voice was quiet—almost broken.

"If I had told you everything back then, would you have believed me?"

You didn’t answer. Because you weren’t sure.

You heard the commotion upstairs, probably back-up. Jungwon grabbed your wrist.

“where are you going?,” his face softened, “i’m coming with you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, about to protest, but you had no time to spare. You both managed to rush out through a secret back way. It was cold, you were weak and exhausted, but you made it out. Your eyes frantically looked around for a car. You pointed the gun at Jungwon, signaling to the luxury lined cars.

“Turn one on. Hurry,” you threatened.

He nodded, grabbing keys from his pocket, he rushed to a car. You both got inside the car, he turned it on, you kept the gun pointed at him.

You left out a shaky exhale, clearly in pain. You flinched, glancing at your wound on your side and cut on your shoulder.

Jungwon glanced over to you, worriedly.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

You tightened your grip onto the gun, “Eyes on the road.”

You guided him to a place. The only place you could think of now. The only place you wish to be.

Home.

You push him inside, gun still pointed to him.

His expression was unreadable, he looked around, observing the place. You carefully reach for his pocket, your hands coursing through his body, taking his gun out. He didn’t reach for his weapon. He didn’t try to run. He just stood there, staring at you like he was bracing for impact.

"You betrayed me."

The words barely made it past your lips. You hated how raw they sounded, how much hurt was laced in them.

Jungwon exhaled slowly, “I know."

“you lied to me!”

“I did.”

Your finger hovered over the trigger. You had pictured this moment a thousand times since the night he handed you over to Seokjin. Since the night he let you believe he had chosen the enemy over you. The night he gave what you both had up. If anything.

"Then why?" Your voice shook, but your stance remained firm. "Why did you sell me out? Why did you let me think—"

"Because it was the only way to keep you alive!" His voice cracked through the silence, loud, desperate.

He took a step forward, and you immediately cocked the gun, making him halt. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.

"Seokjin was going to kill you, and nothing—not your badge, not your skills, not even me—was going to be able to stop him. So, I made a deal."

"A deal?" You scoffed, rage clawing its way up your throat, "You handed me over like I was some bargaining chip!"

Jungwon shook his head, “I bought you time. I knew you'd escape."

His voice was strained, laced with something that sounded dangerously close to regret, "I had to make sure Seokjin didn’t see you as a threat long enough for you to get out of there alive."

Your pulse roared in your ears, “You think that justifies what you did?"

"No," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, "But I’d do it again if it meant keeping you breathing."

For a moment, all you could hear was the rain outside, the faint hum of the city beyond these walls. The weight of his words settled over you like a storm, suffocating and relentless.

"I don’t need you to protect me," you whispered.

“I know that. But i can’t…I can’t help it,” he confessed.

He took another step forward, and this time, you didn’t stop him.

"Then why?" you asked again, but this time, the question wasn’t just about the betrayal.

It was about everything. The tension, the lingering touches, the stolen glances. The way his eyes lingered too long when he kissed you. The way he caressed your hair as you slept in his arms.

Jungwon swallowed hard, "Because I love you."

The confession hit you like a blow to the chest.

Your hands trembled around the gun, but you refused to lower it. You didn’t know what was worse—the betrayal or the fact that some part of you had wanted to hear him say it.

“How do i know that’s not just another one of your lies? How am I supposed to trust you?”

Jungwon took one last step closer, close enough that the gun was pressed against his chest. The only barrier between you two. His voice was raw when he spoke.

"You can hate me. You can pull that trigger. But don’t ever doubt that I would’ve given up everything if it meant keeping you safe."

The gun in your hands felt impossibly heavy.

And for the first time, you weren’t sure if you had the strength to pull the trigger.

Then, finally, you sighed, “You really are an idiot."

Jungwon blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You love me, but you thought lying to me and betraying me was the way to protect me? Idiot."

“There is something I must give you,” he said, reaching for his pocket.

You observed carefully as he pulled out a flashdrive. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You need to see this,” he handed it over to you.

You grabbed your old laptop, the screen flickered on. You plugged in the chip. Jungwon sat at a safe distance beside you. The audio file played through the tiny speakers.

"Y/n… if you’re hearing this, then I didn’t make it."

Your heart clenched. It was him, Hyunjin.

"I don’t have much time. They know I’m close. But listen—Seokjin isn’t our enemy. He was helping me. He’s an old friend from high school…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But, I have proof that the real threat isn’t him—it’s someone inside our own department. Someone powerful. Someone who’s been playing both sides."

Your throat tightened as your partner’s voice cracked, “Seokjin tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen. And now I’m running out of time. If something happens to me, don’t trust anyone. Find the evidence. Finish what I started. And Y/n… whatever happens, don’t let them turn you into their pawn like they did me.”

The recording cut off.

You barely registered the moment the room started spinning. The flash drive felt like a dead weight in your palm.

You were too in shock. Hyunjin and Seokjin, friends? Hyunjin running from someone in your department?

This whole time…you had it wrong.

For months, you had poured every ounce of your rage into bringing Seokjin down. You had been convinced that he was the one who ordered the hit on your partner, that he was the reason for the blood on your hands. And now—

Now you know the truth.

Jungwon, who had been sitting beside you, finally spoke. His voice was careful, measured.

“Your partner had been investigating a dangerous underground crime syndicate—one even more powerful than Seokjin’s operations. He and Seokjin had a secret alliance, working together to take them down from the inside. Seokjin, despite his reputation as a crime boss, had been trying to dismantle the organization in his own way, using his influence to protect those who couldn’t go to the police. But then, Hyunjin got too close. He uncovered something that put him directly in the syndicate’s crosshairs—maybe evidence that tied corrupt officials and high-ranking officers to the criminals. He needed to get it out.”

“So he turned to Seokjin,” you continued.

He nodded, “But before Seokjin could move, the syndicate acted first. They made it look like Seokjin had ordered the hit on Hyunjin, knowing that it would shift all suspicion onto him. By the time we arrived to help as back-up, he was already dead. Which is why I was there the day of the murder. The real mastermind, A high-ranking official or someone within the police force who had been feeding information to the syndicate. They needed Hyunjin gone, and framing Seokjin was the perfect cover. That’s the real truth, Y/n.”

Your eyes flickered, tears stinging your eyes. This was your breaking point. You had been so blinded by rage, you hadn’t realized the answer was there all along.

Jungwon hesitantly reached for your shoulder, caressing it.

You turned to him, embracing him. He immediately welcomed you in his arms, caressing your back in comfort.

“It’s okay,” he soothed, “As long as i’m here, no one can hurt you…”

you pulled away, gently.

“I love you, Jungwon,” you confessed, “as much as I hate to admit it.”

He paused for a moment before flashing you a genuine smile, his dimples showcased.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to say that,” he whispered, towering over you.

He kissed you lovingly, soft, and slow. As if you were fragile, as if he was scared of hurting you.

As if he was going to lose you if he let go.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer. You fell back onto the couch, allowing him to hover over you.

“If I could go back and do it differently, I would. I’d choose you. Every time,” he whispered.

Your heart slightly ached.

"I don’t deserve you," he continued, “But if there’s even the smallest chance that you could forgive me… that we could try again… I swear, I won’t waste it."

"You’re going to have to prove it," you said softly.

Jungwon’s lips parted, as if he hadn’t expected you to give him even that much. But then, after a moment, he nodded, a small, almost broken smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He recaptured your lips again, this time more yearnfully.

"I will," he promised, “Every day, for as long as you’ll let me."

tbc…!

#enhypen #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon smut

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heron-knight · 6 months ago

Text

decided to crack open my skull and pour the contents of my brain onto the keyboard. thought the denizens of tumblr might enjoy it. bon appetite

Mech Pilot Care guide

You never expect it, do you. Even as you see the flashes of pulse-decay fire in the sky, illuminating a scene of violence on the cosmic scale. Planetary defense satellites forming Monolithic structures in the sky, their purpose now revealed as they scatter constellations of destruction across the night horizon, drowning out the stars and replacing them with ones born of death. The oxygen in a ship catching fire and burning away in an instant, a flash of light that marks the death of its crew of hundreds. Even if you take your telescope to watch this spectacle, this war in a place without screams, you still feel profoundly disconnected from it. Even as you see a pilot cleave through a drone hive with a fusion blade, the molten metal glistening in the light of the explosions around it, scattering without gravity to the corners of the universe, even as two mechs dance across the sky, their reactors pouring into the engines enough energy to power the house atop which you sit for ten thousand years, flying in a 3.5 dimensional dance with only one word to the song that can reach across the vacuum: “I Will Kill You.” you don’t feel even the slightest glimpse of what goes on inside their minds. You don’t feel the neurological feedback tearing across the brain-computer interface, filling her mind with more simultaneous pain and elation that an unmodified human could ever experience. You don’t feel it as the pneumatic lance punctures through steel and nanocarbon polymer, the mech AI sending floods of a sensation you could never truly know through the skull and into every corner of the body carried on enhanced nerves for every layer of armor punctured, tearing into the enemy chassis with a desire beyond anything the flesh can provide. Let the stars kill each other. After all, I am safe on earth. No, you don’t expect it when the star is hit with a sub-relativistic projectile, piercing through both engines in an instant. You don’t expect it to fall. You never would have expected it to land, the impact nearly vaporizing the soil and setting trees aflame, on the hill beyond your house, and you would never have expected, beneath the layers of cooling slag, for the life-support indicator light to still be visible.

All the fire extinguishers in your house, your old plasma cutter that you haven’t used in years, and whatever medical supplies you think they might still be able to benefit from. All that on a hoverbike, speeding at 120 kilometers per hour through the valley and up onto the hill, still illuminated by the battle above, unsurprisingly unchanged by this new development. 200 meters. 100 meters. You don’t know how much time you’ve got. It wasn’t exactly covered in school, how long a pilot can survive in an overheating frame. You’ve heard rumors, of course, of what these things that used to be human have become. That they don’t eat and barely need air. That they don’t feel any desire beyond what instructions are pumped directly into their brains. Not so much of a person as much as an attack dog. It’s understandably a bit concerning, as if they are alive, then it’s not guaranteed that you will be. Three fire extinguishers later, the surface of the mech is mostly solid, and the cutter slices through the exterior plating. With a satisfying crunch, the cockpit is forced open, revealing the pilot, and confirming a few of the rumors, while refuting others. Pilots, it seems, are not quite emotionless. In fact, there seems to be genuine fear on its face when it sees you, followed by… a sort of grim certainty as it opens its mouth, moves its jaw into a strange position, and you only have half a second to react before it would have bitten down with all its force on the tooth that seemed to be made of a different material then all the rest.

Your thumb is definitely bleeding, and is caught between a metamaterial-based dental implant, and one containing a military-grade neurotoxin. You’re not sure exactly why you did it. The pilot looks at you for a second, before the tubes that attach to its arms like puppet strings run out of stimulants, and it passes out after who knows how long without sleep. This battle has been going on for weeks already. Has it been fighting that long? Its various frame-tethered implants disconnect easily, the unconscious pilot draped over your shoulder twitching slightly with each one you remove. It’s a much longer ride back to the house. Avoiding having the pilot fall off the bike is the top priority, and the injured thumb stings in the fast-moving air.

An internet search doesn’t lead to many helpful sources to the question of “there is a mech pilot on my couch, what do I do?” a few articles about how easy targets retired pilots are for the “doll sellers,” a few military recruitment ads, and a couple near-incomprehensible legal documents full of words like “proprietary technology” or “instant termination.” However, there is one link, a few rows down from the top-- “Mech Pilot Care Guide.” It’s a detailed list, arranged in numbered steps. The website has no other links on it, just the step-by-step instructions: a quick read reveals that this isn’t going to be easy, but looking at the unconscious pilot, unabsorbed chemicals dripping from the ports in its arms and head onto the mildly bloodstained towel, you come to the conclusion that there’s no other option.

Step one: the first 24 hours.

The first thing you should know is that pilots aren’t used to sleeping. They’re used to being put under for transport and storage, but after the neural augmentations and years of week-long battles sustained by stimulants that would fry the brain of anyone that still has an intact one, they’ve more or less forgotten what real sleep is. If they see you asleep, they’ll think you’re dead, so don’t try to let them stay in your room yet. Once you’ve removed the neurotoxin from the tooth (it breaks easily with a bit of applied pressure, but be careful not to let any fall into their mouth or onto your skin.), start by moving them into a chair (preferably a recliner or gaming chair, as the mech seat is about halfway in between), and putting a heavy blanket over them. Don’t worry, they don’t need as much air as normal humans do, and can handle high temperatures up to a point. This is an environment similar to the one they’re used to. It’ll stay like this for about 12 hours-- barely breathing, trembling slightly underneath the blanket. Feel free to check if it’s alive every few hours, not that you could help it if it wasn’t. It won’t freak out when it wakes up. In fact, it doesn’t seem like they can. Turn down the lights and remove the blanket from its face. It’ll stare blankly at you, trying to evaluate the situation with a brain that’s not connected to a computer that’s bigger than they are anymore. Coming to terms, if you could call it that, with the fact that it isn’t dead. Don’t expect it to start reacting to things for a while yet, give it a couple hours.

It’s been a bit, and its eyes are starting to focus on you. The next thing you should know is this: pilots only have two groups into which they can categorize non-pilots: handler and enemy. You need to work on making sure you’re in the right one. Move slowly, standing up and walking toward them, making sure they can see where you’re going to step. Place both hands on their shoulders, then slide one under their arm and carefully pick them up. Don’t be startled by how light they are, or how they still shake slightly as they realize their arms don’t have anything connected to them. Most importantly, don’t break. Don’t reflect on how something can be done to a person so that this is all that’s left. Just focus on rotating them as if you’re inspecting all the brain-computer interface ports, while holding them at half an arm’s length. Set them back down, wrap the blanket around them, then lean in close and say “status report.” they won’t say anything, as they usually upload the data via interface, but what’s important is that now they recognise you as their handler. Their entire mind will be focused on the fact that they exist now to do what you want. Now it’s up to you to prove them wrong.

Step two: the first week.

They’re shaking so hard that you’ve had to move them from the chair back to the couch, sweating heavily as they pant like the dog they’ve been trained to think they are. This was to be expected, really. Pilots are constantly being filled with a mix of stimulants, painkillers, and who knows what else, and you’ve just cut them off completely. You’ve woken up several times in the night and rushed to check if they’re still breathing, debating whether you should try to tell them that they’re going to be okay. The guide says they’re not ready for that yet, whatever that means. They’re still wearing the suit you found them in, made from nanofiber mesh and apparently recycling nutrients and water before re-infusing them intravenously. It’s been three days since you tore them out of the lump of metal atop the hill outside. Long enough that the suit’s battery, apparently, has run out. You lift them gently from the couch and carry them to the bathroom. The shower’s been on for the past hour or so, meaning the temperature should be high enough. You set them on their chair, which you’ve rolled there from the living room and covered with a towel. Removing the suit normally isn’t done except in between missions, and it’s only done to exchange it for a new one. Without the proper tools, you’ve opted for a pair of scissors. Cutting through the suit takes a bit of time, but you manage to cut a sizable line from the neck down to the front to the bottom of the torso. The pilot recoils slightly from the cold metal against their skin, but you manage to peel off the suit without incident, The Temperature of which was roughly the same as the steam filling the room, and you’ve done your best to minimize air currents. They’ve got a bit more shape to them than you expected of someone who’s been so heavily modified. Perhaps what little fat storage it provides helps on longer missions, or perhaps this is for the purposes of marketing. Just another recruitment ad that appeals to baser instincts. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Using a cloth with the least noticeable texture possible, you wash off as much sweat and dead skin as you can, avoiding the various interface and IV ports, as you’re not yet sure that they’re waterproof. Embarrassment is the enemy of efficiency, so you’re slightly glad that their eyes never completely focus on you. They shift their weight slightly, however. Despite the difficulty moving with their current symptoms, they lean in the direction opposite the places you wash once you're done, allowing you to more easily access the places you haven’t got to yet. An act of trust that you have a suspicion they weren't “programmed” to do. As they dry out, you prepare for the difficult part. You take the blanket that previously wrapped around their suit, and gently touch a corner of it to their shoulder. Pilots are used to an amount of sensory information that would overload any normal human in an instant, but most rarely experience textures against their skin. After about half an hour, they’re used to it enough that you’re able to replace what’s left of the suit with it, and after another you’re able to wrap them in it again. You carry them back to the couch, and place a few of your old shirts next to their hand. They pick one and touch it with one finger before recoiling slightly. Eventually, they’ll be used to at least one of them enough that they can wear it. It’s slow progress, but it’s progress.

Step 3: food

It goes without saying that it’s usually been at least a year since they’ve eaten anything. The augmentations scooped out much of their knowledge on how to survive as a human, assuming that they would die before ever needing to be one again. Start them off with just flavors. Give them a chance to pick favorites by giving them a wide selection and firmly telling them to try all of them. Avoid anything solid for the first month or so, both because they can’t digest it and because they associate chewing with their self-destruct mechanism. Trying to and surviving might make them think the “mission’s fully compromised” and attempt to improvise. They’ll typically pick out favorites quickly with their enhanced senses, so once they’ve sampled everything, tell them to pick one. Remember it, not in order to use it as a reward or anything, but them still being able to have a “favorite” anything is something you should keep in mind for later.

Use a similar method anytime they become able to handle the next level of solidity. Don’t be alarmed if one of their favorite foods is the meat that’s most similar to humans (such as pork.) they’re not going to eat you, they just will have already formed an association between that flavor and the moment they went from being a weapon to living in your house. Don’t worry about your thumb getting infected, by the way. Pilots barely have a microbiome.

Step 4: entertainment:

Roll them over to your computer and give them access to your game library. No, really. They need enrichment, and there’s only one activity that they’re able to enjoy at the moment. A simulation of it will make the shift from weapon to guest easier. Start them off with an FPS with a story. Don’t go multiplayer, as your account may get banned for being suspected of using aimbots. Watch as they progress the story. The military left pilots with just enough of a personality to allow them to improvise, and that should be enough for them to make decisions on this level. They won’t do much character customization, but keep an eye on which starting character body shape they pick. No pilot would consciously think they have enough of a “Self” to still have a gender, but keep track of the ones they pick in the games. As for the one you’ve found, it appears that she’s got a player-character preference. You even saw her nudge one of the appearance sliders before clicking “start game.” Whether this means that a pilot doesn’t think of themselves as “it” or that it means there’s still enough of their mind left for them to know there’s more to themselves than the body they have, it’s a handy bit of information to know. Some pilots might have had this decision influenced by their handlers having referred to them as “she” in the way it refers to boats, but still, on some level they always know that “it” meant that they’re a weapon.

Step 6: outside:

There’s a profound difference between experiencing the world through information fed directly into your brain and standing up for the first time, wandering around the room and investigating with hands not made of a half-ton of metal. She’s not used to feeling the air on her skin as she stands in front of the window, visual data coming from two eyes instead of seven cameras. It’ll take a while to get used to it again. New old data, reminiscent of a time before she’s been trained not to remember. It’ll take a while until she’s walking like a human and not a mech, as the muscles used are different, and the ones to hold herself upright haven’t been used in a while. She’s going to fall down at least once. Be sure you’re standing next to her when it happens, as pilots that fall aren’t trained to think they can get back up. It’s worth it, though, when she opens the door herself and strides into the yard, still wobbly but standing. Be careful not to let her look into the sun, partially because it looks nearly identical to the barrel of a pulse-decay blaster milliseconds before it fires. She would get hurt trying to dodge it. It will be somewhat confusing for her, standing on a hill as she once did, but not contained within a 12-meter metal chassis. A feeling of being small and alone without the voices of the computer. This means it’s time for step seven.

Step 7:

All this time, and any idea that she’s still a person has, for her, been subconscious. Any thought of humanity is stopped when it slams into the wall of her handlers and mech AIs reminding her for years before now that she is a weapon. She’ll still ask for your permission before doing just about anything, and that’s just the rare times that she’ll do something you don’t tell her to. Even after you’ve moved her into your room, she’ll still try to sleep on the floor. She still thinks that beds are only for humans. Kneel next to her as she curls into a ball on the ground, assuming that’s what she’s supposed to do. Expect her to try to move down to the foot of the bed after you set her down on it. Gently move her back up until her head’s on the pillow. Sit on the edge of the bed, and hold out your hand to her. After a bit, she’ll take it, wrapping both hands around it and tracing her fingers along the scar on your thumb. Lie down next to her, an arm’s length apart. Place your other hand on her forearm, then slide it up her arm to her shoulder. Don’t move too quickly, and don’t surprise her. Whisper softly but audibly every movement you’re going to make in advance. Move in a bit closer, until you’re wrapped in her arms. Mech pilots aren’t used to this. They aren't used to feeling someone next to them. Not above them, but next to them, getting exactly as much out of this as they are. Even after several months, many won’t admit they deserve it. You wouldn’t waste time lying next to a gun. So why do they feel so strongly that they don’t want you to leave? Why do they hold on tighter? They often feel they’re doing something wrong. Overstepping a boundary. There’s a rift between what they want and what they’re told they can want that nearly tears their mind in half, and it hurts. No normal human will ever know how much it hurts them to think they’ve broken some instruction, that they feel things they aren’t allowed to. Nobody said it was easy, learning how to become human again. Tell her it’s okay. That she’s allowed to feel this way. She still won’t know why. It’s time to tell her. The guide can’t tell you what to say, only that you have to say it. It has to come from you. You have to be the one that tells her what she is underneath all the modifications. It’s time, say it.

“Do you feel that? Do you feel your heart start to beat faster as it presses up against mine? Do you feel your own breath against your skin after it reflects off my shoulder? Do you feel your muscles start to tighten as I slide my hand across them, then relax because you know it means that you are safe? It’s because you’re alive. Because despite everything, you’re still alive. Still someone left after all the changes, all the augmentations. And I know you’re someone because you are someone that likes food a bit spicier than most would prefer. Someone that closes her eyes and gets lost in music whenever it’s playing. Someone that added that one piece of customization to her character, even though they would wear a helmet for most of the game and nobody would know it was there but you. Maybe you aren’t the same person you were before. Maybe they did take some things from you that nothing can give back. But you’re still someone. Someone that people can still care about, and I know because I do.”

You can feel her tears drip down onto your neck as she pulls you closer. She tries to say something, but you can’t understand what. You tell her it’s okay. That it’s not easy, and that she doesn’t have to pretend that it is. Not for you, and not for anyone anymore. She doesn’t have to be useful anymore. No need to keep it together. All that matters is that she’s alive.

There’s another battle going on in the night sky outside. The same flashes of light you saw the night you stopped living alone, even if the other person couldn’t admit that they were one yet. She still flinches at the brighter bursts of pulse-decay fire, still stretches out her hand on reflex to prime a pneumatic lance that isn’t there. But she knows it’s not her, it’s just a ghost of the weapon that died when it hit the ground. You can feel her relax as she realizes this, moving her hand back to dry her face before reaching out towards yours. You hadn’t noticed the tears on your own face. You place your hand on hers as she wipes the corner of your eye. Outside and above, the war continues on a cosmic scale, so far apart from where you both are now that you barely notice it. Let the stars kill each other. After all, the one before you has already fallen, and she doesn’t have to return to the sky. Together, you are safe on earth.

#mechposting #creative writing #mech pilot #Heron knight’s writing

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ploridafanthers · 2 years ago

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this is some wonderful extra-hockey

#when do i wake up in a vapor-filled garage and we have like 40 points on the season

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undertale-encyclopedia · 10 months ago

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thinking about sans' first lines of dialogue. Like, making assumptions of where this story is going:

Imagine youre just some dude, working on some science shit with this guy you know, related to darkness and timelines and crazy spacetime shit like that. Then your boss gets vaporized across all of reality and you get trapped in another parallel universe where you are imprisoned underground.

The machine you took to get here is broke as fuck, you cant fix it, the way this world functions is different than where you're from so they cant even help you get back with your machine. You talk to the royal scientist about this shit and shes just like "I dont know anything about darkness but we're researching this stuff called Determination that affects time in some way, maybe that will help?" And you work with her and figure out the timeline you are currently inhabiting keeps getting shifted around and some anomaly keeps starting and ending timelines and there's basically nothing we can really do about it. So you fully give up, you're not getting back to your reality, you're not getting out of this cave, you're not getting out of this timeloop. You spend your days eating greasy food, making bad jokes at the comedy club, and trying your hardest to give your brother a happy life. Plus, you met this person you really like behind this sealed door and she asked you to protect any human that leaves that place. So now theres an extra thing you gotta worry about.

And now. On top of all this shit. Coming out of this door that has never opened ever. A human, filled with this Determination shit you've researched, key to freeing everyone, has walked right out of that door.

...

#ramblings

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tspiremedia · 2 years ago

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awritesthings1 · 1 year ago

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All The Things We Don't Say

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Female Reader

Summary: An anthology of your life with Tommy, from friends to strangers to lovers, and all the little moments in between.

Warnings: 18+, implied DV, substance abuse, childhood trauma, ptsd, overprotective tommy, swearing, brief smut, longfic oneshot, feminist themes (motherhood & being a wife in the 1920s).

ao3 link

Smash!

“Pick it up!”

Your daddy was a drunk. You remembered the fact since you could walk. He stayed home while the working men left for the factories, then disappeared in the late hours of the morning until his eventual return when the slam of the front door woke the household up. Mother used to hold you at night as she curled up in your bed. She was sick a lot. Always sniffing into the back of your neck when you were asleep. Sometimes the sleeve of your nightgown would get soaked while she muffled her hiccups.

She looked sad, too. In the morning, she kept the curtains drawn and stayed away from the outside world. She told you it was to keep nosey Mrs. Gretel away from her family affairs. But Mrs. Gretel had left Birmingham two months prior.

By seven years old, you were the 'man' of the house. You had gone to sleep one night, and when you awoke, your mother had vaporized into the air like a rabbit in a hat.

“She left because of you,” your father slurred at you.

You hated him.

She left behind her long-sleeve dresses, scarves, and wicker hats that covered nearly every inch of her skin. They were far too big for you then, but when your father came home at the end of the week with a stack of cash, you ran to your mother’s closet, which had remained untouched until then, to find only cobwebs. Gone. Every single one of her dresses. You looked out at the moon in those early hours of the morning and swore to it that when you were bigger, you would get him back so much worse.

And so you were left to clean up his smashed glass bottles and scrub the alcohol out of the gritty carpet. Your little hands struggled to pluck the glass from the floorboards. In a year’s time, they were covered in little scars.

On your tenth birthday, you decided you were grown enough to take matters into your own hands. When he was passed out on the floor from whatever he managed to fill his pipe with, you grabbed the small bottles he hid under a loose floorboard and poured them into the gutter at the back of your house.

You turned to run back to the door when the contents of the bottle were empty, but a ball almost tripped you over. You gripped your tattered skirt before you could lose your footing and snapped your head around with a fierce pout.

“That’s my ball,” pointed a young Thomas Shelby.

You put your small hands on your smaller hips. “You kicked it my way on purpose!”

You weren’t entirely sure, but you suspected it.

“Maybe I thought you were pretty,” he grinned.

You noticed his two front teeth were missing.

“Ewwww! I would never go out with you!” You squawked.

At ten years old, you knew better than that.

Seemingly unaffected by your distaste, he continued. “Do you live there?” He nodded to the house whose roof was falling apart.

“What’s it to you?” You frowned stubbornly, not wanting to admit that, yes, that was your house.

“The curtains are always drawn,” he answered, walking over to pick up his ball from your feet. He was the same height as you were at the time. “My brother Arthur said it’s haunted. He saw a ghost in the window once. He said it was a woman and that she starved to death.”

Your nose scrunched up. "Well, he’s a phony!”

You ran inside said house and slammed the door shut.

He kissed you down by the docks that winter. It was your first kiss, and a clumsy one at that, so you didn’t remember much of it.

By thirteen, you had given in and sold the rest of your mother’s belongings to support yourself. You hated yourself for it, and that nagging voice inside your head told you that you were no better than your father. Oh, and your father? Your father lost vision in his left eye from a bar fight. Too bad it wasn’t both.

Sometime later, a boy two years older than you saw your wandering hand in someone’s bag at the fair and threatened to teach you some manners ‘the hard way’. You bit anxiously on your nails and pleaded with him because he was bigger than most boys his age, when Tommy’s brother Arthur (who you’d seen hanging around the Garrison) came passing by and threatened to ‘toss him about’. The other boy, not all believing in Arthur’s temper, rushed forward, and the two ended up rolling in the dirt, but by then you were gone with a stolen pocket watch in your fist. Nearly two legs and an arm deep in poverty, some quick cash, or a hero complex? You’d take the penny.

At fourteen, a lady knocked on your door. It was a lady of the night who had come to inform your father that he had fathered a son with her. You were glad it was a boy. A girl wouldn’t have stood a chance in the slums of Birmingham. Life was hard, but Birmingham was harder. Your father had refused to listen to the young woman and shooed her off. You never saw her teary-eyed face again.

At fifteen, your father attempted to wash his hands of you by marrying you off to the highest bidder. There was no real auction, but just about anyone who suggested a handsome sum of money did the trick.

“His name is William,” you exhaled, kicking your legs over the edge of the dock.

Tommy laughed. “You won’t marry him.”

“What choice do I have, Tom?”

Your finances were getting tight, and the gloomy pressure to take up working at night like many young ladies was beginning to loom closer and closer. You hated being a woman. Boys would never have to worry about selling themselves to survive.

“I’ll put a gypsy curse on him,” he decided, squinting his eyes from the bright reflection dancing across the water.

You hit his shoulder.

“No, you won't, because then you’ll be cursing me.”

The severity of your situation began to dawn on Tommy. No amount of pestering Polly for change to spare would relieve you of your burden any longer.

“That’s it, then?” He gulped, shifting his glassy eyes to the harbor.

You sighed and followed his gaze.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad. I’ll never have to see dad again, and William promised to take care of me.”

Tommy scoffed.

You frowned at him. “What?”

He shook his head.

“What! Tom—”

“Don’t marry him.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, here we go, why?”

“You know why.”

You were engaged to William on the eve of your seventeenth birthday. He was a very proper man and never dared to go any further than hooking an arm around yours on formal occasions. You were never attracted to his thin mustache nor the thick lenses he wore. In fact, he was incredibly awkward at social occasions, always checking his pocket watch and avoiding eye contact with whichever circle he stood in.

Tommy began to fade out of your life around that time. Margaret—a lady who had taken you on to help with the sewing of her family’s tailoring business—told you that Tommy was spotted arm in arm with another girl that week. You expected to feel jealous, but you felt nothing. You knew love would never be your right. Love was for the more fortunate.

You spent that year learning how to be a wife. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too different from what you did as a child—cooking and cleaning up like you did when your father came home, that is. It was comforting to have a routine in place. It meant finality—no one walking in and out of your life as they pleased, and certainly no more growling stomachs. Perhaps being a wife was a skill your mother never learned. You were grateful for William’s mother, who seemed to be more than enthusiastic to show you the reigns.

After a year-long engagement, you caught your fiancé, William, locked in a compromising position with another man.

“Oh,” was all you got out before leaving his house.

You lacked the special ingredient that marriages needed: love.

You sat down at the fountain across the street. William and his lover’s silhouette were visible behind the blinds he had drawn on the second floor, which peered over the sidewalk. You watched their shadows fluster their feathers around the room like headless geese, and for a moment your head surfaced above water and laughter frothed out between your sealed lips. Perhaps Birmingham made you a little mad.

You didn’t go through with the marriage. You suspected William was relieved.

That week, your father left. You never knew whether he left on his own accord or just never made it home one night. Either way, you never really cared to find out.

With nothing left to lose, you knocked on the Shelby family’s door at Watery Lane. Finn appeared around the other side of the door a moment later.

“Is Tommy home?”

Finn nodded, spinning on his heel to alert his brother. When Tommy did appear, his shoulders were tensed. Disheveled hair never looked so stylish on him. When you saw his suspenders (which were hastily thrown on), you wanted to ask who he expected to be at the door that he planned to answer dressed in such fashion but then thought better of it. He peered down at you, then checked over his shoulder before ushering you inside and up to his bedroom.

“It’s… smaller than I thought,” you landed on, taking in his room.

After all these years, you had never stepped foot into the Shelby home. You weren’t the type of person to come door-knocking.

You turned around to face Tommy after hearing him click the lock on his door.

“Are you hurt?" were the first words he had spoken to you in a year.

“No.” You pressed your lips together, eyeing everything from the bed to the view out the window.

Silence followed closely after.

“Then why are you here?” Tommy sighed.

Your vision began to blur then. “I don’t know,” you said honestly, trying to stop your bottom lip from trembling.

Desperately, you pushed your hair back and straightened up, attempting to hold yourself together. You must have looked like a puppet being held together by a string, given how poor you looked.

Tommy’s boots pad across the wooden floor. “You love me?”

Did that word truly exist? How could you answer if you never knew what it meant to love?

You don’t meet his eyes. He licked his lips, pushing your head up to meet his with his thumb. His eyebrows rose expectantly.

“I don’t know what to do, Tom,” you breathed, avoiding his question. “I’m all alone now. No William, no father…”

His lips parted, and you watched with fascination as the cogs turned in his head. “Yes… that is a problem." His breath fanned over your face.

You gagged, a reaction you yourself had not expected, before rushing to his door, only to remember that, yes, he had locked it, before turning to the nearest silver bucket in the corner to empty your guts.

The first thing you heard when you caught your breath was, “are you pregnant?”

No, but when you stand so close to me and I can smell the cigarettes you smoke and your freshly washed skin, I can imagine a future where we are married, and I see your face growing more disappointed as we age together because you married a woman who never knew how to be a mother to your children nor a wife who knew to tend to you with affection by your bedside when you’re ill.

“No,” you choked, spitting out the vile taste in your mouth. “We never did anything.”

You wanted him to know that. You wanted him to think that you never let William touch you because you never loved him, not because William wasn’t interested in girls.

A moment later, Tommy sat beside you on the floor and quietly combed your hair away from your wobbling lips.

“So, if you’re not pregnant and you don’t love me, why are you here?”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. How were you supposed to answer that? After letting your guts loose in his room, you thought he would surely have booted you out the door.

A knock came on the door: “Tommy?”

“A minute, Finn!” Tommy growled at the door, refusing to back away from your trembling frame.

You were so hungry. Margaret had to cut back your hours ever since her husband fell ill. She spent more time by his bedside than keeping the store open, which meant you were making less than usual. The imminent closing of the store hung over your head like a taunting crow, gouging your insides like you were Prometheus. Birmingham your chains, a woman your fate, and the bird your punishment for thinking you deserved more.

“I should go.” You shivered at the draft inching towards your skin from the open window.

Tommy’s intense gaze stuttered, falling to your lap, where you picked at the dead skin around your nails. He cleared his throat, fishing out the key from his pocket. Although it was dull and muted from the years, it gleaned brightly in your eyes as if it were the reward you came for. Flushed, you grabbed it out of his hands without sparing a glance. Electricity sparked in those precious seconds, igniting a deadly fire in your belly.

“You’re cold." Tommy flinched at your touch.

You retreated as soon as the key slid into the hole and unlocked with a click. In your haste, you left the most valuable thing you owned there in his room.

Your heart.

The months went by, and summer arrived. The stories your mother told you left you expecting a bright gleam of air that would wash over the streets and paint each tree and every patch of grass a frighteningly bright green that would even encourage grumpy Mrs. Gretel to come out to preen her stubborn roses that would just not grow. Birmingham left less to be desired. The summer days never came, and that persisting bitter bog thickened, albeit with slightly less rain. There were gray clouds, smoke from the factories, and a shivering north westerly, which pushed said clouds at breakneck speed as if they had somewhere to be. You looked to the sky one day and said a prayer for blue breezes and sweltering sun, but the sky was empty.

Sometime later, men marched the streets armed with guns in their ‘dashing’ uniforms. A war, they said, a great one. Queues lined the street for the post offices and grocers. Rain rivaled the bustle of the city. What did it feel like to love someone so much as to stand in the pouring rain next to the gutter? You wanted that kind of love. Not the love you could only give yourself because even you didn’t want your own love.

One of the soldiers decorated in medals stood on a crate at the port, yelling something supposedly inspiring that captured the attention of many young men. The words honorable and patriotic were tossed in there like a delectable salad, enticing them in the way farmers held a carrot to a pig’s snout.

You pitied their mothers. Their daughters were married off, and then their sons were swooning over the idea of dying. Birmingham was filthy, rotting, and disgusting. You needed to leave.

You kissed Margaret goodbye on the cheek one Tuesday morning. Ever since your pockets turned out empty, you had been working as a bedside nurse for her ill-stricken husband. They were good to you, and they were probably the only people you could consider family.

She patted your cheek and said, "you're doing good to serve this country.”

You hadn’t had the heart to tell her you were leaving because the city was marring your flesh, so you slipped her the sugarcoated lie of wanting to join the war effort so that you might help others who were bedridden, just like her husband.

At the train station, you stood with your suitcases held tightly in both arms. You had to set one down to hold onto your hat as a train full of men waving their caps out the window pulled into the station. Some children weaved between the crowd, wagging a newspaper above their heads, hoping to make a quick penny. To your side, women wept for their brothers, husbands, and lovers.

“Who are you wishing off?” asked an elderly woman who was clutching her cane.

“Oh, I’m not. I’m boarding the next train.”

She laughed, and you wondered how old your mother would be now. Would she have grown wrinkles and settled into a deeper laugh like this woman?

“My dear, you have a bright imagination if you think they will let a woman on any of these trains.”

A sudden anger filled your blood. “Why not?”

“These men are heading straight for London, where they will be shipped away to France to fight,” the woman explained as if it were any other day.

“I’ll catch the next train then.”

She shook her head, and her frail hand curled tighter around her cane. “They’ve stopped the trains so they can transport soldiers to London.”

You frowned. “Then how will I leave Birmingham?”

You’ll never forget her dismissive laughter.

“My dear, you won’t.”

Men boarded the train, clapping each other on the back with a wink and a laugh. When a line of men on the platform thinned, the train whistled, and you looked over just in time to see Polly, Ada, and little Finn standing with their hands crossed over their hearts as they waved to the train.

No. It wasn’t possible.

But it was because you caught the gleam of the razors sewn into their peaky caps. Tommy, Arthur, and John all stood aboard the train, sticking their heads out and waving to Polly and Ada with a grin that wrung your stomach like a wet cloth.

Those countless daydreams you spun, the intricate webs you wove, began breaking down to thin fibers. In one pathway, you stayed there in his room and told him the truth you always denied yourself. You loved him. In another, you stood next to Polly, close to tears, as you begged him to come home safely. There was a resounding click in that moment as your breath stuttered. You had been the person who wiped away those futures, thinking it was nothing but an annoying spiderweb. Oh, how wrong you were!

“Tommy!” You left your suitcases behind and stepped around the old woman as you ducked under hugs and tearful goodbyes.

“Tommy!” You cried again with the gusto of someone who certainly shouldn’t be as concerned as they were considering you left him in his room that day.

Thankfully, his eyes eventually found yours as you pushed through the last line of people. You stood there and stomached all your regrets head-on. It was funny how, up until that moment, you managed to squash every seed of doubt. Why was it that you only realized what you had when it was slipping out of reach?

He never called your name back. He just stared at you blankly as the train pulled away, unlike you, who clung to the image of his frame even as the train disappeared from sight and the crowd began to disperse. You stood there unblinking, hoping to soak up the last of him before you forgot the intensity of his eyes or the humming rumble of his voice. Because the idea of something you held dearly becoming a memory meant that it could as easily be forgotten, and that terrified you. Your eyes were watering now, against your best wishes.

You overheard Polly ushering Finn and Ada off. Finn rushed home without protest, but Ada stopped in her tracks when she saw you hunched over your knees in tears. She smiled weakly before chasing Finn home. It was then that Polly’s shadow approached your huddled frame. She didn’t say anything, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if she expected you to stand and apologize for being such a mess. That’s when a penny clattered to the ground beside you. She squeezed your shoulder once before disappearing.

You kissed that penny as if Tommy would feel the power of it across the country, then ran back to Margaret’s, having forgotten your suitcases.

“Oh…” She exclaimed, slapping her tea towel on the counter when you walked into the kitchen. “You missed your train?”

Dread made your stomach tender and your breath short.

“I’m enrolling in the Red Cross.”

Throughout the war, you thought of Tommy every day until your stomach lurched. Would it have worked if you had stayed? Would you both have grown old together instead of subjecting yourself to the spray of dirt when a bomb went off nearby?

A day ago, your supply rations never came. It wasn’t like hunger was anything new, but when your mind was too focused on surviving the perilous weather, it was hard to save other lives. You made work with what little supplies you had left. The morphine went stint within hours of its arrival, and the cries of pained soldiers filled the medical tent all night. You did what you could, wiped sweat from their foreheads, and wrote letters to their mothers and lovers with what supplies you could scavenge. Some were written on cardboard from shell packaging, others on torn pages from the bibles they kept over their hearts. Pens were useless—the ink ran in the rain—so you scribbled everything down in pencil.

Before you left for France, you were warned of the bullets. No one ever warned you about the shrapnel, nor the bombs or grenades. They shattered soldiers’ bones beyond repair and left bodies unrecognizable. There wasn’t much you could do when most of their flesh was missing.

Keeping faith became an impossible task. Supplies were depleted, and nurses were dejected. Sally, who had been writing home for news of her brother, recently had her letters returned with the black stamp. Death—return to sender. She spent only an hour sitting on a trunk, letting her tears fall, before she got back to work. Grief privileged those with time, something no one could afford in these conditions.

Then it came—the day Arthur Shelby was carried in on a stretcher. You were making your rounds around the beds when a truckload of yelling men pooled through the entrance of the tent.

“Nurse!” They all yelled, some limping, others setting down stretchers of men on the dirt between the filled beds.

You and two other nurses dropped everything and ran over to attend to the wounded. They were all covered head to toe in dirt, groaning and clutching limbs that were twisted the wrong way. One in particular coughed and huffed while he fought against hands, which were fruitlessly pushing him back down on the stretcher.

“Let me go!” He yelled, wrestling against an older nurse.

“It’s alright, Mary. I’ll handle this one,” you patted her shoulder as you swapped places.

You dunked a washcloth into a bucket of water to wipe away the dirt in his eyes. “Calm down; you're safe here,” you said, starting your usual script of reassurances.

When the striking blue eyes squinted up at you, your blood ran cold. You froze before taking his head in both your hands, despite his protests. “Arthur? Arthur, it’s me!”

He loosened his grip on your wrist. “Huh?”

“It’s me! Where’s Tommy and John?”

He spat blood and gritted his teeth. “Fucking hell, where’s the whiskey?”

You laughed despite the smell of blood encompassing the tent. You quickly fetched the alcohol you had been using to clean wounds and pressed it to his lips. You weren’t sure if it was whiskey or not, but you reasoned he was in too much pain to be able to tell. He drank it with a groan of pleasure. You didn’t try to snatch the bottle away as he emptied it down his palette; you just sat and grinned at the way he suckled it like a newborn baby while you cleaned away his cuts.

“I’ve never been happier to see you, Arthur.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, his lips still wrapped around the bottle.

You tried to stay by his side for as long as you could before the second wave of patients came tumbling through the flaps of the tent. One of them lost their grip on the stretcher, and the patient went sliding into the dirt headfirst.

“Fuck!” They all swore, abandoning the stretcher to drag the limp man further into the makeshift hospital.

You rushed to help when a hand gripped the back of your neck. You yelped in pain as your hair got caught in a fingernail when they turned you to face them.

And there he was: Tommy Shelby, covered in a thick layer of dirt, heaving for air.

“Nurse! Nurse!” Voices cried for you, but between the ringing in your ears and the wrath in Tommy’s blue eyes, you were frozen in place.

“The fuck are you doing here, eh?” He yelled over the anguished men.

You suddenly felt stupid standing there in your Red Cross uniform.

“I was looking for you, I—”

His dirty hands cupped your cheeks—something you were painfully aware of from the uncomfortable itch from the mud on your flushed skin—and pulled your forehead to his.

“You think this is some fantasy?” He squinted. “You think there’s any fucking moonlight to kiss under here, eh?” He spat.

His eyes held that haunted look you had seen on many soldiers that passed through the medical tent. Your eyes watered. Perhaps it was from the humidity and dirt being kicked up as nurses and patients scuffled around, not because you could hardly recognize the man in front of you. The blood smeared above his eyebrow worried you, so you reasoned that he was mad because it had been leaking into his eyes. Dutifully, you reached to wipe it with the back of your hand. He grabbed your wrist harshly, bringing it down to your side. He was in shock; you scolded yourself.

“Where’s John and Arthur?” Tommy swallowed, flexing his hands.

You led him to Arthur, who had been left in his corner while the nurses attended to more serious cases. It hurt watching the brothers reunite after their ordeal, so you left them alone no matter how much you feared them being discharged before your return. After all, everything you ever wanted sat in that corner, but it would be selfish to coddle Tommy all to yourself. Still, you couldn’t help sparing a glance when you walked up and down the tent, attending to patients.

Later that night, he came to you under the candlelight of your tent. He cleared his throat upon entry. You were lying face-up on your cot when he cleared his throat and peeled back the entrance to enter. The candlelight painted the mountain peaks of his face in a dull amber and the valleys in a frightening shadow. You sat up, pulling the thick cover over your shift.

Tommy kneeled next to you, resting on the heels of his boots. He licked his chapped lips and itched his nose. “You don’t belong here.”

Your grip on the cover loosened. “Huh?”

Nothing prepared you for when he swung his brooding stare towards you. He exhaled loudly before running a hand over his face.

“You should have stayed in Birmingham.” He said it like a warning.

“And done what?”

Vulnerability never looked good on Tommy. His head hung and his fingers itched at the back of his head—a tick you used to love; now you weren’t so sure. Because your Tommy was never afraid, but this man in front of you was alarmingly tense despite the clear efforts to mask it.

What have they done to you, Tom?

Under the dim light of your tent, you barely recognized him. A stranger’s eyes were blown wide in a frightening state of shock, something most soldiers mirrored. War washed out the sweet blue pair you knew, refitting them for a steely weapon. You hated seeing him like this, so still, so unsteady, cocooned into the corner as if afraid to take up space.

You feared you looked no better. Having worked till the point of exhaustion, you usually found yourself awakening against a wooden crate or trunk to the cries of patients who demanded your attention despite your body not having the strength to stand. Today you had been lucky and found yourself crawling distance to your private tent when your knees started wobbling and your head lulling.

The wooden reinforcing of your private tent fought in vain to shelter your bodies from the elements; it still flapped and whipped about, sometimes rocking your cot. Yet Tommy remained still like those life-size stone statues you’d find outside an important building, brooding at the dirt and locked in an internal battle. You shifted to the edge of your makeshift bed and leaned close enough that you saw how the top buttons of his dirtied uniform were missing and most of his clothes were torn.

His arm, which was breaking out in goosebumps, lay heavily across his knee so that he could rest his forehead there limply. He looked in a bad enough condition that you feared the possibility of him succumbing to the wasteland threatening him outside your tent. You wrapped your arms around the scruff of his hair and pulled his face into your stomach, where he could hide from the terrible world. On instinct, his arms wound around your waist, and you felt his warm exhale against your skin through the thin fabric of your slip.

His tin water bottle clanged against the satchel he wore, which made you wonder if he had any time to rest at all if he still had all his equipment tied to his uniform.

“I didn’t…” His voice was muffled by your slip. He cleared his throat again, shaking his head.

When he dropped the thought, you spoke up. “Have you eaten?”

He slapped your thigh haphazardly. “No, do you have a cigarette?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, instead gently pushing him away so you could kneel beneath your bed and fish a cigarette from your satchel. You pinched one from its tin case, then thought better of it and tossed it on Tommy’s lap. Gratefully, he collected one from the case and lit it with a nearby candle. You watched his chest rise and fall as he took an especially deep drag. His eyes shut as the nicotine rushed to his head.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he muttered under his breath.

“How are you here, Tommy? One of the night nurses should’ve been on watch.”

“Oh,” smoke puffed out of his mouth, and he raised his eyebrows, “there is.”

“Then how—”

“I had to see you.”

The butterflies in your stomach dove. The blue in his eyes appeared translucent as they hazed over like a ghost. His shoulders were slumped dejectedly, and he had a hand pushing through his greasy, unwashed hair to relieve his neck from the weight of his thoughts.

He pointed to you then, with the cigarette nursed between his fingers. “I need to know why you changed your mind.”

“About what, Thomas?”

His voice slurred and slipped into a deeper register from the lack of sleep. "Why you came back. Why you came to France.” Tommy shook his head lazily. “You expect me to believe you had a sudden change of heart? What? You a patriot now?” An amused exhale curled out while he took another drag. “Well I don’t believe it.”

You began shivering despite the way your body flushed.

“How’s Arthur?” You tried to avert the conversation.

“Bloody drunk off his ass.”

“And you?”

Tommy held your stare and swallowed dryly. “Trying.”

“You can go join him if you wish.”

He looked at the entrance of your tent as if he were weighing his options, then shook his head and took another drag before clearing his throat. “It’s different now.”

Naïvely, you sank to the ground beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. “It doesn’t have to be.”

He sighed.

“I wish that were true.”

The next time you saw Tommy, you were working a shift at the hospital. After the war, you received a medal for your efforts, which easily got you a job in Birmingham. You pleaded with them to send you to any other hospital—London, Manchester, Liverpool—you didn’t care. Anywhere but Birmingham.

“You should be honored to work for me!” Exclaimed the head nurse at Birmingham Hospital, who didn’t seem too pleased with your distaste for the city.

You thought the job would be the final nail in the coffin, but you surprisingly got along well with the head nurse once you had put your animosity aside. So much so, she offered to lease you a room upstairs from hers.

Then came that dreaded night where you were finishing the filing of some documents when a patient was being rushed in. Your ears perked up, and you looked through the blinds of the office to see a man being rushed by. Something small and round had fallen off the stretcher while the nurses paid no attention, pushing him around the corner and down towards the operating theater. Curious, you exited the office.

And there on the ground was one of those peaky caps Tommy and his brothers used to wear. You knew this because you picked it up and nearly cut yourself on the blade that was sewn into the seam. You spent the next hour gnawing on your nails. Your imagination sparked ideas about the beaten man who was lying in an operating room two doors down in surgery. Was it Tommy? Arthur? John? The shadows under your eyes darkened at the thought. No, it was probably some other Peaky Blinder. The Shelby brothers were too careful. Still, you knocked over your coffee in a mad dash to the bathroom, where you heaved up your dinner.

You volunteered to stay until the morning, but the head nurse on duty for the night refused and sent you home. You didn’t sleep at all that night.

The next morning, you arrived early and made a beeline for the emergency ward. You grabbed the admission form and scanned the patient list. There were only two emergency patients who were listed under the final hour of your shift, a woman and a man, which made it easier to narrow it down to the man who was admitted at quarter to midnight in ward four, room seven.

When you peaked through the crack in the door, you knew you had been worried for a reason. Tommy lay under the covers, battered and bruised, with a swollen eye and a nasty scar where he had reportedly received surgery for trauma to the head.

You slipped inside quietly and closed the door. Tommy’s eyes were closed, and his mouth hung open, stealing miniscule amounts of air into his lungs. He looked as good as a ghost.

“Tommy…” You clutched his peaky cap (which you meant to return) between your fingers.

He didn’t move an inch, so you set the cap down by his bedside table, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest.

What have they done to you, Tom?

On the second week, he woke up while you were cleaning the windowsill. He coughed, and you whipped around in shock.

“Nurse?” He asked hoarsely, blinking away the blinding light.

You rushed to his side, tears bursting like the fountain you passed on your way to work.

“Don’t move,” you urged when he tried to sit up.

“I have to get to London,” he slurred, only half awake.

You weren’t upset that he didn’t recognize you. You weren’t upset that he didn’t recognize you.

“Tommy… it’s me.”

He shrugged your hand off his shoulder with a hiss. “Fucking hell.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Please don’t move; I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You couldn’t hide the way your voice broke.

He looked up at you, then, through bloodshot blue eyes. You wished you knew what was going through his head. Happy or sad?

“Am I dead?”

“No,” you smiled weakly as a tear fell.

“Can I have a smoke then?”

“I don’t know how to love, Tommy!”

“Yeah? Yeah? That’s bullshit! Why do you keep coming back then?” He pinched your chin, glaring furiously into your eyes. “Eh?”

He stood so close that he blocked the light from the chandelier, which mournfully hung from the ceiling. You shivered in his shadow.

“I shouldn’t have come tonight.”

“But you did!” He accused, pointing in your face.

“It was a mista—”

“You fucking did!”

“Tommy!”

“I’ve had it! If you want to leave, then fucking leave; otherwise, don’t stand there all righteous waving empty threats over my head because I know you won’t leave.” He shook his head with a wild look in his eye. “No… You won’t leave. You won’t leave because you love me. You keep coming back,” he pointed matter-of-factly.

Tommy’s eyebrows danced between being terribly furrowed and alarmingly raised during his passionate monologue. It was rare for him to emit so much emotion these days. The war changed men, and Tommy was no exception. A chilling stillness framed his presence, which even you weren’t excused from. No more laughter, no more dreams of working with horses, because he was above all that now, wasn’t he? It was ambition that ground his teeth together and hollowed his eyes. Still, you couldn’t forget that the anger came from vulnerability, because it took a lot for someone to get under Thomas Shelby’s skin.

You moved to grab your purse, to make good on his word, but he halted your movement by grabbing your shoulders, roughly at first, before loosening his grip. You softened at his frantic demeanor. He was scared—oh, so afraid of you walking out that door again. But how could you ever explain it to him? You were never born for love. You would never know how to love him properly the way wives were supposed to because what you felt for Tommy was sickeningly deep. So much so that the mere impression of him sealed off your ribcage and ruined any chance of your heart beating for any other soul, so much so that you carried the weight of him in your bones because you could never shake him off.

When you looked back at life, all you saw was the absence of love. You used to imagine yourself growing up and falling in love with a handsome stranger, then getting married in a proper white dress to go live in your proper house. But when you looked in the mirror, you saw a ghost. The pathway of your life was laid out before your eyes once, and what you saw didn’t match the reflection. The man you were supposed to marry couldn’t even look at you, even if you cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until your fingerprints turned white and pasty.

Because what it all came down to was simple. You never got to become the person you envisioned. Instead, you were cursed to live as a blank slate and be consistently reminded of what you were supposed to be and of who you were: no one.

Tommy exhaled in a quick huff, pressing his forehead to yours so that he saw you clearer, without all the tension and bullshit in the way.

“Here it comes, Tommy.” You took a shaky breath. “I love you, but I could never be the perfect wife to you, and I would be a terrible mother.”

There, in all its ugly colors and shades, you hung yourself with the truth.

He shook his head as if he too couldn’t believe your words.

“Fuck’s sake! Forget about all that." His eyes watered out of frustration, but he was still puffing in anger. “I need you. You. Not some whore.”

You bit your lip to muffle the god-forsaken cry ready to erupt from the volcanoes you suddenly found roaring in your stomach. An earthquake overtook your hands the more you fought the inevitable eruption. You grabbed both his hands to stop yours from shaking.

“I have to be cursed; there’s no other way!”

“No!”

“My life slips through my fingers like grains of sand—”

“You’re not cursed!”

“And I can’t stop it, Tommy!”

“You’re not fucking cursed, and I’ll tell you why." Tommy cut you off. He leaned in, licking his lips, which had turned dry from all the shouting, and squeezed your hands. “Because my ancestors charmed dogs with their magic, they didn’t scare little girls with curses,” he paused. “But you… You waved a hand over my head, and now I’m no better than a dog.”

He closed the space between you, pressing his forehead against yours, and stroked both your cheeks, wiping at your tears. You held him there in a meek attempt at reciprocation.

You wished the world were ending so then you could grab Tommy’s hand and say, ‘I’m ready, Tom. The world is ending, so let’s kiss and love each other under the flames without any fear because the world is ending.’

But you were never good at expressing yourself with words, so you sealed it with a kiss, hoping he could taste the unspoken words on your lips the same way you tasted the tears. He responded in earnest, gripping you roughly by the scruff of your neck to seal the promise laden between your lips; no more running.

It was just your luck that you would bump into your ex-fiancé, William, while visiting a bar in London with Ada. You were buzzing from the warmth of three sweet liquors and whatever else Ada insisted you try, and everything was starting to seem a little funny by the time he approached you.

He engaged in pleasantries, swishing his wine around the glass and sniffing it occasionally, like many pompous older men tended to do. There was only so much smiling you could afford before you caught your reflection in the freshly wiped bar and realized how poorly your acting skills were. Ada was no help, muttering something about finding a phonebooth and then slipping into the belated and boozed crowd. It was then that the supposed nectar in your glass began to taste like the cleaning products—that nose-scrunching stench. Thankfully, William was too involved in some tangent to notice you muffle a gag into your palm.

The dazzling hum in your ears muffled out all his words. In your drunken state, William appeared to be more confident than what you remembered, but you were unable to decipher whether it was from a change of heart or if he was trying to fall back in your good graces. Otherwise, you were blinded by the roaring bustle of the bar and the delicious swell of music that seemed to reverberate across your being.

Growing a little bored with William’s story, your attention wandered over his shoulder, still being sure to nod every now and then as if you were deeply pondering his words. Not far away from his side, a man seemed to linger—a man who was careful not to reach your eye. You must have laughed a little harder than usual because William turned sharply to the man at his side, gave him a quick once-over, then returned his attention to you, but by then it was too late, and you knew exactly what William’s relationship was with this man and where William’s confidence had come from.

“You’ll make a fine wife and a finer mother someday,” William quickly added.

You cursed the witch inside you, who laughed from her stomach and used his shoulder to steady herself. Once upon a time, that was all you longed to hear, but now, with a half-spilt martini in hand, you couldn’t care less. Both of you had found happiness despite your unconventional circumstances, and there was no more to it. You could close that chapter without any loose threads.

A little drunk, you thanked him, disappeared, and never thought of him again.

“I can’t do it, Ada,” you stressed, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the baby in your arms.

Motherhood came rumbling into your life like a rusty engine spitting out oil. ‘Instinctual’, the mothers down the lane from Arrow House had said, ‘it’s like your body has been preparing for it your whole life.’ How awful, you thought, and by the time one of them finished speaking about their experience with their first, your nose was so scrunched in disgust that you would need an iron to flatten out the wrinkles. It wasn’t until now that you longed to be in their shoes, because nothing came naturally to you.

“He’ll latch eventually; he’s just a little fussy,” Ada reassured.

“Is it supposed to hurt?”

“It’s perfectly normal.”

Then, after an hour of rubbing your sons back on the verge of tears, he finally began feeding from you. Ada soothed your back the whole time and cooed softly to calm both you and your unruly boy. Sometimes she brought Karl. He would obediently sit on her lap, playing with his wooden horse, while your little Charles fussed.

One time in the early morning, when you were up attempting to feed Charles, Tommy rushed in alert with disheveled hair and sunken eyes.

“Sorry,” you mouthed, deflated your hardworking husband had been disturbed from his sleep.

He ran his hands over his face and sighed. You mistook his action for frustration and desperately tried to hush your baby. Tommy moved over to the rocking chair where you sat, trying to feed little Charles in your arms.

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered into the crook of your neck. “How is he?”

You flushed under the moonlight, suddenly embarrassed that your husband had caught you in this vulnerable position with the top of your slip peeled down. Your exposed skin hissed when he pressed a kiss against your pulse.

“I don’t think he likes me very much.”

Tommy inhaled sharply against your neck before resting his chin on your shoulder to peer down at Charles. Charles had settled since Tommy walked into the room, acutely aware of his father as his little hands made a grabbing motion for him. Diligently, Tommy relieved your arms of Charles and cradled him close to his chest. Within minutes, the little baby was gurgling happily and blinking in a way that suggested sleep was on the horizon after all.

Your husband didn’t dare make any sudden noise as he gently set Charles in his cradle. Once he was surely asleep, Tommy guided you up from the rocking chair and into your shared bedroom.

“See?” you hissed, still maintaining a soft voice, “he only wants you.”

Tommy wouldn’t hear any of it, pulling you into his arms as he sat on the edge of the mattress. Your slip was still pooled around your hips, so he took the opportunity to plant a kiss above your breasts, where your heart was.

“He loves you,” he drawled in that husky voice of his. “I know he does because I do.”

Your head ached, but you couldn’t help the way your body reacted to his words and touch. Tommy’s wandering hands teased the silk fabric that clung to your hips as you felt his nose trail down to your breast, where he kissed one of your aching nipples delicately. Suddenly hot, you hummed in delight, the back of his shorn scalp pleasant beneath your nails. A grunt, bathed in that musk of his devours your senses. Inhaling sharply, he took the bud between his full lips, sucking, licking, and nibbling gently while his hands explored further down. Your head lulled back from the pleasure, gasping and withering under his skilled tongue.

The next thing you knew, Tommy was tugging the rest of your silk slip off and reminding you of just how much he loved you.

“Charles! Come here!” Tommy called.

Your little boy loved to play in the backyard of Arrow House. Much like his father, Charles adored horses. Big ones, small ones, black ones, white ones—but most of all, he favored his Shetland pony. Tommy had brought it for Charles before he could even walk. He said something about it being important for his son to be raised around horses from a young age. And while you didn’t necessarily disagree, it still stressed you out to hold your baby so close to such a large, muscular animal. You knew the Arabian breeds spooked easily, so you steered clear of them and were able to keep Tommy and Charles happy.

But now he had grown up so fast and was able to run around on his own two legs, climb trees, and bruise his knees on the way down. The sun beat lovingly on the apples of his cheeks as he dirtied his trousers, kneeling by the fence to feed his Shetland (affectionately named Biscuit) hand-picked grass through the gaps.

“Charles! We’re leaving!” You called when he ignored his father.

Stubbornly, Charles spun around to pout his lip and cross his arms. He glared at you as threateningly as a five-year-old could. You bit your lip to hide your smile because he really did look like a little Tommy with those big blue eyes. It would only be a matter of time before he perfected his father’s stare. With a sigh, you shifted your daughter into Tommy’s arms before approaching Charles, who was picking angrily at the grass.

You reached a hand out toward him, "let's go.”

“No!”

“All right,” you said decisively, spinning around, “Ruby will have all the fun then.”

“No!” cried your little boy.

You stuck a hand up in surrender and started walking back to Tommy. “No, it’s all right.”

“No, no no no!” Came his protest, chasing behind you as the gravel crunched beneath his boots.

You paid no attention to him, keeping your eyes trained ahead, silently relieved that your ploy worked. Tommy watched on in amusement while Ruby suckled on her thumb, curiously watching her brother storm closer.

“You hear that, Ruby? We’re going to spoil you,” a short smile played on Tommy’s face as he adjusted her so that she sat comfortably on his hip.

“And me!” Charles added and gave his best pout.

“No, Charles, you said you didn’t want to go,” you reminded him, raising your eyebrows.

“I do! I do!”

“Hmm,” you thought aloud, and held a finger to your chin while looking to the sky in exaggerated contemplation. “Very well, but only if you get in daddy’s car right this instant.”

He climbed into the backseat of the Bentley without further fuss.

When all the bags were neatly packed in the back for the day’s festivities, Tommy came around your side to sit Ruby on your lap. Quickly, he leaned in to kiss you and pinch your cheek, which swelled into a glowing grin.

He smiled back and whispered low enough for only you to hear, “got him wrapped around your finger, eh?”

You laughed. “Him and a few other Shelby’s I know of.”

The thundering sound of music could be heard from outside the theater on the corner of Old Pauls. Inside, patrons mused between champagne, dancing, and making a display of their wealth by bidding on little trinkets. It was one of the many charity galas Tommy had to attend because of his new move into politics. Usually, you enjoyed dressing for those sorts of things, but tonight you simply weren’t feeling up to it. Maybe it was the drape of your dress not sitting right or the new leather shoes that still needed breaking in.

Your shimmering smile faded into the crowd as you snuck through the back door in your satin bordeaux dress. Old Pauls sat perched above the cemetery it was named after. Conveniently across the street from the buzz of the theater, it was airily quiet and stuck out from the rest of industrial Birmingham. Your heels clacked across the pavement as you wandered up and down the garden, glimpsing at stone angels and silver plaques. All you had to light your path were the streetlights and the moon.

Your diamond wedding ring twinkled under the stars as you stopped to trace a name. It was the same as your mother's, but with a different last name. Still, you always wondered what happened to her. Had she gotten married to another man and taken his name? You expected to shiver at the idea, but you found that thinking of her no longer unnerved you. She packed up the title of mother when she left you all alone in that cramped house.

Light spilled out onto the pavement across the street when the entrance to the theater swung open. A few men flew down the steps and split off in different directions. Thinking it odd, you remained crouched until they disappeared around their respective corners. That’s when you saw Tommy exit through the same doors, throwing a cigarette and wiping at his brow while he looked up and down the street. Quickly, you stood and waved your arm to get his attention. When he noticed, he stormed down the steps and stalked across the street and through the gates of Old Pauls over to you.

“I needed some air,” you spoke up before he could get a word in.

His eyes wildly flickered back and forth from yours in a frenzy. Under the moonlight, they looked almost translucent, and, save for a ghost of blue, his pupils were wide.

“Why the bloody hell are you out here, eh?” He demanded, gently shaking your head between his hands for emphasis while his eyebrows rose expectantly.

“It’s quieter.”

When he tilted his head to the sky and exhaled, your stomach dropped at the sight of blood. Your ears, which had been tuning out the music, flinched when a shrill cry from a woman rang out the theater doors. The music was gone, now replaced with screams as all the patrons rushed out, tripping over each other like it were a race. You turned back to Tommy, now as worried as the others.

“What the hell happened? Are you hurt?” You urged, gripping his white collar, now red, to inspect where the blood was coming from.

“Not mine,” he cleared his throat, grabbing the hand on his collar to tug you down the street.

The frame of your world stretched a little wider, like light pouring in through open shutters. Car doors slammed, and drivers honked at the agitated crowd who ran this way and that across the road.

“Where’s the fucking ambulance?” Shouted a man who took no care to avoid bumping into you.

You stumbled back, your hand slipping from Tommy’s on impact. Rage flickered across his features briefly, having noticed the man push through you, but he reconnected your hands and continued walking fast. When he reached the Bentley, he urged you inside, holding your hand the whole way until you were seated in the passenger seat.

“What the hell happened, Tommy?” You repeated as he slid into the driver’s seat.

“Someone got shot.”

Your eyes widened. “Are Polly and—”

“They’re fine.”

You sank back into your seat as the engine roared to life. Peaky Blinder’s followed the frenzied crowd, moving together like a pack of wolves onto the streets. They only parted to let Tommy’s Bentley through. Out the window, people were fighting and throwing fists as they all tried to escape the mayhem.

“Why aren’t they letting people through?” You asked after witnessing a Peaky Blinder block the road and refuse to let a car pass.

“Doesn’t matter.”

He never told you anything when it came to business. And although you suspected this was much more than the doing of the Shelby brothers, Tommy’s face never betrayed him. Simply put, if he didn’t want you to know, you wouldn’t.

“Would anyone want to follow us?”

“No.” He exhaled deeply, cleared his throat, and then reached to give your thigh a squeeze.

You knew it was a lie when his eyebrows rose. He only did that when he was worried. Your tongue remained pressed to the back of your teeth the entire ride home.

The howl of the wind whistled down into the valley of the gypsy camp Tommy had brought you and the children to.

“Pack your things,” he had said one night after storming through the front door of Arrow House, “we’re going on a trip.”

Charles and Ruby cheered, but you suspected something sinister beneath his intentions.

So, there you were, picking at the grass by your feet while you perched on the bottom step of the gypsy wagon Tommy parked beneath a tree for shade. He kept quiet for most of the ride, absorbed in leading the horse around loose gravel and stones, or rather, he led you to believe he was lost in concentration. Because, when it came down to it, you knew Tommy better than to assume nothing was wrong.

The past week, he had been acting different, jumpy even. He ran into the nursery during the early hours of the morning on edge, as if expecting something to be amiss. You tried interrogating him, but he brushed it off, insisting things were fine. Fine—you began detesting that word. Fine this, fine that, but if things were really fine, then why was he on edge?

Then came the bloodshot eyes and the slamming of his desk drawer when you entered the office. Only this time he couldn’t deny the unmistakable jingle of a bullet, which rattled in the wooden compartment like some sort of airy death chime.

A black hand. One for each Shelby. And since you were now one too, that meant neither you nor the children were subjected to any special treatment. A week, he said, a week for his family to clear up the business while he stayed here watching over you like a shepherd to his flock.

And watched he did, standing next to where you sat, he found peace observing Charles and Ruby as they chased each other around the overgrown field. There he remained for an hour or so, frighteningly still, the only motion being his sharp jaw chewing on a mint leaf, somewhat reminiscent of the soldier in your tent all those years ago. Next to him, tied to the tree, the black steed filled the silence with snorts and grazed favorably on the loose roots and grass patches.

“Ruby was crying this morning. She’s scared, Tom." You sighed.

Tommy hadn’t been there when you woke up that morning in the caravan. He returned shortly after, ominous as ever, just as Ruby had begun to settle.

He tossed the stalk of his mint leaf into the grass and offered you his hand. You looked up at him in question for a moment, slightly suspicious of his intentions. Nevertheless, you slid your hand into his, and he stood you up, sat down on the higher step, and pulled you between his legs to sit on the lower step. He hugged you from behind as he slouched to rest his head on your shoulder, then exhaled deeply.

“We will be home soon,” he whispered in your ear, brushing your knuckles tenderly.

“For how long? Until we get another bullet in the post?”

Tommy’s throbbing forehead found solace in the warmth of your neck.

“You’ve never been one to run,” you continued, “what’s bothering you? We took a vow that we would share everything.”

He nuzzled his nose deeper into your pulse.

Frustrated, you tried to get up, but he held you firmly against his chest.

“Italians.”

“Italians?”

“Italians sent the black hands.”

You waited in silence for more information, but more did not come.

“Speak to me, Thomas.”

“I don’t want you any more involved than you are.”

“They’ve sent death knocking on our door; how more involved could I be?”

Tommy moved methodically, licking his lips and clearing his throat. He squinted his eyes up at the glaring sun.

“It’s nothing you should be concerned about. I’ll keep us safe.”

“Nothing I should be concerned over, Thomas? Just how many people are we at war with?”

He didn’t answer, so you turned your head away from him. Charles and Ruby had since settled by a patch of flowers. Charles was crouched over, helping his sister gather all the yellow flowers for her yellow dress.

The tension broke the surface then.

“Why are you still fighting, Tom? Is this,” you nod to your children and breathe in the fresh air, “not enough?”

You pictured Arrow House and its lavish garden, one to compete with all the wealthy families down the lane. You thought of Arthur, John, Polly, Ada, and all his family that lived to see his success. Everything, from the thoroughbreds in the stable to the fancy cars. The money itself was a testimony to his drive. What more could the gangster of Birmingham want when he already had everything?

You had gone and worked yourself up now because the world seemed blurrier than before.

Tommy, still on his guard, guided your chin to your shoulder so he could kiss the tears away. “It is enough.”

“Then make it enough. You’re respectable now, so stop the fighting.” Your voice broke at the end.

He hung his forehead on your shoulder. Like a flower sheltered away from the sun, Tommy wilted when he was away from his business. Usually, you were a strong enough light to keep him going, but whatever business he had gotten himself into was poisoning him, and ever the addicted flower, he kept running out to the fields, continuing to drink in the sunlight until it was too much and turned his leaves brow. Because business was what occupied his mind day and night, he was unable to turn the cogs of the engine off and let the air out of the tires.

A hand brushes your hair away to kiss the spot beneath your ear, airing out the destructive thoughts.

God, you loved him anyway. An overpowering feeling that ruled over calculating minds like Tommy’s and faint hearts like yours. You were no better than him—both addicted to a little sunlight.

The framed photographs on the wall shook as your third-eldest slammed the door to her room closed.

“I hate you!” She cried from the other side.

Your husband, Tommy, sighed to the ceiling, then stalked past you to his study, no longer interested in anything your daughter had to say. They had been at it for the last ten minutes arguing over some boy she was seeing, and your ears were just about ringing having witnessed it from the sidelines. You were left there in the hallway, an unwilling participant in the unspoken feud between father and daughter, and you understood that whoever you went to console would take it that you were siding with them, even though you just wanted to keep your family together.

Going to your daughter was the instinctive answer, but you knew she needed time to cool off. Tommy was the only reasonable choice.

You knocked on the door to his office before letting yourself in.

“Come to lick my wounds, eh?” He mused while smoking a cigarette.

Your lips wormed into a thin line. “This needs to stop, Tom.”

“Yeah,” he said, tapping the ash into his tray, “it will fucking stop.” He points with his cigarette, “I’ll make it fucking stop.”

You sighed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

The chair screeched as he stood. “I’m her father, and if I say she can’t see that boy, she can’t. It’s only a childish fling; she’ll get over it.”

He poured a whiskey and downed it by the time you walked around his desk so that you were face-to-face with him.

“They’re in love, Tommy.”

“Yeah?” He scoffed. “Well, that can be undone.”

You held his glare, a challenge lighting in your own. “So easily, you think?”

He paused mid-drag, catching onto the underlying meaning in your words. “No,” he said, setting the cigarette down in the ash tray and grabbing your shoulders. “Don’t act like that.”

“Act like what?”

“Like you’re threatening our love over some fucking boy that’s charmed our daughter. They’re too young.”

“He’s sweet.”

“Oh, sweet and nice, I’m sure. But he’ll have no place in this house.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because I fucking said so!” He spat.

“Don’t yell at me.”

“Or what? You’ll leave me?” He huffed in amusement. “You won't; you love me too much.”

“You’re so certain?”

He paused for a moment and stared at you as if he couldn’t believe what you had said.

“Yeah, because we still fuck like two people who love each other, eh? And you’ve not told me no before, so if the day comes and your body no longer wants mine, then I’ll be worried. But until then, don’t test me with empty threats." His face hardened.

He knew you like the back of his hand. All bark, no bite. You loved him inexplicably, even after all these years, gray hairs and all. His face, body, and soul nourished you until you were satiated and full. And even if his eyebrows furrowed at times, you were willing to bet that it was for aesthetic, a shapely shadow gathered over the years from being the stoic leader the Peaky Blinders and Shelby family needed. How could you fault him for it?

Because, at the end of the day, you were a team. Even if he played the role of an overprotective father a bit too convincingly, he only ever wanted what was good for your daughter. Everything he worked for, ultimately, was for his family. A family man. And that came with its virtues and vices because, despite what Tommy thought, he wasn’t perfect; no one was.

Shrinking under his hands, you breathed a sigh and appeased him. “End this feud, Tom. Find peace with her. I don’t care what you do, but by the end of it, I expect to be able to sit down at the dinner table without having to beg my husband and daughter to look up from their plates.” You stroked his hands, which held your shoulders, and finally blinked up at him.

A haze of softness swept across his glare and melted the glaciers to a thin sheen of blue. The seams of exhaustion frayed one by one through his muscles. He nodded, licked his lips, and leaned down for a kiss of absolution. Not entirely prepared to surrender, you tilted your head so that he found the corner of your mouth instead.

“It will be done, love.” He brushed the apples of your cheeks tenderly. “And by tonight,” his voice lowered, “I promise you’ll forget all about it.”

Only then did you accept his kiss, eager to put the grievance to rest. Tommy, on the other hand, had other plans and stepped forward so that you were pinned between his desk and hips. He quickly began to gather your skirts above your waist, but you pulled away just as fast at the hiss of air against your exposed skin. An unsolicited gasp escaped his mouth when your knee brushed him there, and you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, looking deep into his eyes.

“Promise me you won’t break her heart. She might not be old enough now, but I don’t want you to put her off love forever,” you caressed his jaw.

“No,” he agreed, breathier than usual, flexing the hands that were still caught up in the fabric of your skirt.

“And our Daisy may never say it, but I know she loves you dearly. So please, Tom, be gentle with her. I don’t want her to grow up despising you. Tell her you love her, kiss her forehead, hug her.”

He deflated, and you watched him swallow his pride. Cogs turned against the sweltering lust, threatening to deplete the clever thoughts in that powerful head of his in favor of your careful touch. Please, please, please, you begged without uttering a word; agree with me on this, Tom.

Tommy leaned back down to rest his forehead on yours; his face gave nothing away. You were sure he had found something to say, which would make you feel like a fool for asking. However, when you embraced those faint subtleties of emotion flickering across his face like candlelight, so miniscule you might blink and miss it, you found nothing of the sort to suggest any hostile nature. Because Tommy loved you.

“I will.”

A/N: Tried doing a long one shot, what does everyone think? Yay or nay? Comment to be added to the tag list!

Taglist: @maliceofwonderland , @fairytale07 , @goblinjnr , @ilovepeoplesdads , @multidimensionalslut

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malleleothreesome · 1 year ago

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Azul Ashengrotto x afab Reader - Aphrodisiac + Breeding

💜 summary: After an alchemy accident, you and Azul end up covered in an aphrodisiac potion ༶༶༶ 💜 warnings: afab reader, smut, LOTS OF BREEDING KINK, pregnancy mention, porn with plot??? ༶༶༶ 💜 word count: 8.4k words I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED ༶༶༶ 💜 song: Vapor - 5 Seconds of Summer "I wanna feel you in my veins I want to breathe you in like a vapor I want to be the one you remember I want to feel your love like the weather, all over me" ༶༶༶ 💜 inspired by: this ask thank you! ♡✧*:･ﾟ

As a magicless human, Alchemy had always been your favorite class at Night Raven College. Despite lacking an innate aptitude for spell-casting, mixing and crafting potions was an artform that didn't require magic in order to bring spectacular effects into the world. Alchemy classes provided a refuge—a safe space with no barrier for entry where you could excel instead of feeling singled out for being an oddity in a sea of talented mages. You relished in the opportunity to learn about new components and elements, excitedly observing as volatile chemicals bubbled in heated pots to produce glowing, glittery pastes.

Much to your suspicion, Azul had always been particularly enthused to help you with potions, boasting how he was the most adept in the class due to his academic proficiencies, and that he was certain you'd find success with his aid. He took special interest in mentoring you, watching your delicate, nimble movements as you worked, walking you through procedures and detailed steps, and speaking knowledgeably about the ingredients in a tone that oozed expertise. His tutelage had helped you reach impressive grades on even the most challenging assignments. It wasn’t long before you found yourself spellbound by his charming intellect, deceivingly sweet demeanor, and the addictively intense gaze of his unique blue eyes.

There was always a subtle mischief hidden behind the smiling eyes and the easy charisma that suggested an ulterior motive lurking beneath his silver-tongue. Based on your observations of his interactions with other students, you assumed this was a ploy in hopes that if you had taste of the sweet, intoxicating elixir of power and success, you'd become desperate for more of his help, consequentially making you subservient and open to the idea of contracting yourself to him. In defiance of your paranoia that his motivations are not entirely altruistic, you did always feel an odd prickle in the air when he stood right behind you to monitor your actions. That sensation, a fiery buzz that hummed in your lower abdomen, always gave your heart flutters and kept you on edge as Azul's calm breaths ghosted against your hair and sent ripples of warm pleasure tingling through you. Your breath hitched in your throat as his large, gloved palms gently guided you through your motions, brushing over the bare skin on your knuckles or arms, leaving electric jolts where you felt his warmth. He smelled crisp like ocean breeze, an inviting fragrance that enveloped your mind and wrenched you out of reality and into his heady fantasy—a scene in which all you can taste are the thick, sweet notes of his dark intentions, and all you could do was choke on his cloying, dominating allure. He didn't ask permission to touch you or indicate an appropriate method to teach—no, his hands simply snaked around your waist and ran along your curves, slowly learning the feeling of your soft flesh through his gloves. Each time, you couldn't help but sink a little closer to his chest, instinctively chasing the seductive ambience radiating off of him, drowning in his captivating presence as though he was the tide pulling you under. There was no denying it—you wanted more of him.

Today's lab was no different, the air was tense and thick with charged attraction, filled with sexual tension so palpable it could be cut with a knife. The assignment was to experimentally combine various liquids, mixing and adjusting for better consistency, until you found a formula to concoct a viable, bountiful healing potion that would greatly ease the effects of injury. This assignment was a notoriously difficult, energy-draining procedure that required extreme vigilance to avoid an adverse chemical reaction that would result in a completely different type of potion, although Crewel didn’t elaborate on the exact details. After carefully pouring two compounds—one a milky white, and the other a vivid magenta—into a tall, cylindrical flask, Azul cautiously peered over your shoulder to check your concoction's progress as you stirred them. With one arm outstretched against the table to secure a good vantage point, he rested his other on your waist and leaned in closer as he studied the bubbling pink mixture. After adding an infusion of ground powder, a burst of sparkles clouded the interior of the flask, a telltale sign you were on the right track. This is the portion of the experiment where you needed to take extra caution to mix the elements together in perfect precision without faltering or taking your eyes away from your project, a delicate operation requiring the utmost concentration. Suddenly, Grim barges in and jumps on the lab station in excitement, yapping about how he wants to help, despite you and Azul explaining multiple times he has a proven history of destroying your projects.

The moment the little cat-monster attempts to extend his claws into your precious potion, Azul reacts automatically with surprising speed, his hands fly in a frenzy to scoop Grim away from your chemistry equipment. "Get off that this instant, Grim! You have no business here! Get your little paws out of that glassware this instant before you ruin another assignment! Do not interrupt us! Get away from there immediately!" Azul scolds him repeatedly while chasing him around the room, attempting to steer him to the door. "Why you foolish beast! You're far more of a liability than an asset! This experiment requires extreme care and concentration to avoid failure—a common result of your erratic, clumsy behavior!" His expression hardens with anger, eyebrows drawing into a line as Grim hisses defiantly. The little monster still hasn't relented, his hind legs clumsily scrabbling and slipping in Azul's grip as he tries desperately to cling onto the edge of the lab table, hoping for a quick paw-hold. A heavy, frustrated sigh escapes Azul's nostrils, his face morphing into one of desperation, pleading with the troublesome cat-creature to just leave you to focus your project in peace.

"How very annoying... To think he would willingly place himself in danger without even stopping to consider the consequences... what a foolish and irresponsible creature," he exhales irritably, struggling to wrestle Grim from his precarious position as his composure begins to slip, agitation creeping through his voice and shattering his typical polished and suave illusion of unflappable equanimity. He continues to scold Grim as he chases him around your station, gritting his teeth and losing his cool as the monster's cries of distress and denial ring through the entire room. Grim is an unrelenting little bastard who won't quit squirming. There isn't the slightest semblance of remorse or pity on his stupid, feline face, and Azul feels his resolve crack as he becomes utterly fed up with this spoiled brat's behavior. Grim continues to kick and howl his way through Azul's grip, determined to aid with your Alchemy project, but his clumsy movements start causing your potion to bubble and ripple in an unsettling manner. You shriek his name, begging him to just settle the hell down and be a team player.

It happens in a matter of seconds—a fizzling sound grabs your attention. You turn back around quickly and notice your reaction beginning to froth violently. Your eyes widen in horror and your mouth drops in disbelief. Azul notices your fear-wide eyes and immediately stops his futile efforts to reprimand Grim. In an instant, his gaze reflects the alarm in yours and the blood drains from his already pale cheeks. Grim runs out in a screaming huff as he exits in a frenzied flurry, knowing when to take a hint and make a clean getaway. At this point, the compound is pouring heavily from the top of the flask, spewing out onto the heating device and coating the table below. The chemical reaction is completely beyond your control now, its speed increasing exponentially, bubbling and exploding, kicking out thick, unmanageable clouds of murky pink and purple fumes. Within seconds, it covers the lab tables in an almost misty haze as you choke and sputter in a coughing fit, Azul gasping and choking right alongside you, panic flashing across his face. An eerie glow seeps through the thick liquid as a swirling mist appears from inside the glass. Without warning, it erupts directly toward the two of you before either of you have time to take cover—shattering the flask and showering the fronts of your faces and bodies in its noxious, intoxicating fluids. Both you and Azul choke out muffled yells and groans, the sticky, glittering mixture clinging to the fabric of your clothes and the exposed skin on your faces.

The next thing either of you register is Crewel's obnoxious bark as he spits out sharp commands to open the windows and clear out all the air from the room. Coughing, you gasp for fresh oxygen, suddenly becoming very aware of how fast your heart is racing. It thumps so hard and so forcefully inside of your ribcage that the noise reverberates loudly in your ears, overwhelming your senses. However, no amount of labored inhaling can free you from the toxic, vaporous gas; every molecule in your lungs has already been bombarded and completely overcome by the potion’s effects. As its intoxication takes hold of you, a wicked fever seems to roar within you, followed by a horribly slow heat that makes your limbs ache. Every orifice of your body is saturated by the miasma—liquid slips between your lips, gushing down the front of your body to coat your exposed neck and chest. You taste the surprisingly sweet potion on the inside of your mouth; its taste lingers sweet and tacky on the flat of your tongue, coating your throat. You'd panic that you just consumed some horrific cocktail with traces of corrosion or stomach-rotting acid, if it weren't for the fact that Crewel seems more frustrated than concerned for your well-being. Rather than damaging you, whatever substance was expelled seems to be having quite the opposite effect; you feel your body becoming more energetic, your head becoming lighter, and a bubbling rush of warmth seems to radiate all over from the inside out, changing your physiology into a fertile garden in need of sowing. Adrenaline rushes through you and awakens your basal instincts, forcing you to acknowledge every excruciating detail of your body in an erotic manner. Arousal slithers through your veins like venom, poisoning all remaining thoughts and rationality, as a throbbing, almost blinding wave of pleasure overtakes your body. You become intensely, achingly aware of your physical needs, and all those needs center upon an impassioned desire to be filled, stretched, and seeded full—the frantic urge to be bred nearly splits you in half and makes your lower belly cramp in a hot flash of want. For a second, you hear Azul stutter something to you, his voice wavering on the verge of cracking with the desire that the aphrodisiac had triggered. You lock eyes with Azul, pupils blown wide as lust makes his oceanic gaze shimmer. The front of his slacks have grown embarrassingly tight with the straining girth of his aroused cock. You meet his clouded eyes, almost embarrassed by your wanton thoughts and the desperate throbbing between your thighs.

It is only a split second of recognition, a blurry, sweaty haze of unfathomable passion, before your shared moment is interrupted. Crewel shouts at you to look him in the eyes, snapping you out of your sexual frenzy, even if only for a split second. He stares at you, his gray-streaked hair framing the contoured features of his face as he cocks an eyebrow. The elder gives your flushed skin and trembling body a once-over.

"Just as I thought. It's a dopamine-based aphrodisiac. At least nothing fatal or life threatening, but enough to send you both into a delirious, euphoric-fueled rut," he assesses calmly, unfazed. "What's more, the way the explosion altered the structure of the compound has made its properties even more potent and uncontrollable. In terms you incompetent pups will understand, we're past the stage of antidote or reprieve, and you both have mere moments before the hormones will reach maximum capacity and you two will need to find some private location to release the effects..." He trails off. From his expression, you can tell there is more he would like to add to the situation, yet a worrisome crinkle furrows his brow as his eyes remain on Azul, as though assessing whether the situation is really as under control as he wishes. "Both of you bad dogs listen carefully. Do not even dare to even breathe a word of what transpired here—you are to wait in isolation for five to eight hours until its effects wear off. Under no circumstances should you share physical contact with anyone else for the remainder of the day." He holds Azul's gaze longer than necessary, silently threatening him not to take advantage of this situation—but Azul seems far too caught up in the spell and too infatuated by the burning image of you, sweating, panting, and splayed before him.

"Should anyone at all realize that the two of you have taken any sort of love potion or been afflicted in this manner, it could create a massive scandal, and I'll punish you both so mercilessly for causing such an indiscretion, you'll be licking my boots in front of the entire school!" his deep voice booms in threat. "Have I made myself understood, dear pets?" Crewel snaps, the sting of his whip making both you and Azul wince and nod profusely. He leads you and Azul to the decontamination area of the lab, ushering you two into separate stalls so you can change into fresh, dry garments and wipe off the evidence of the explosion from the potion. When you both emerge, it takes Crewel less than a second to glance from the massive bulge straining against Azul's clothing, to where your heaving, quivering chest is spilling over the low neckline, your nipples hard and pressing obscenely through the thin fabric. He glares down his nose at the two of you in distaste.

"Five to eight hours," he hisses, eyes narrowing, almost sizing you and Azul up like he's waiting for one of you to give in to the pressure of the aphrodisiac. He throws open a back door, gesturing for you and Azul to disappear. Azul leaves first, a flushed, jumbled mess of conflicting emotions that are only intensified as he can feel every agonizing beat of his aroused heart pulse in the heat of his hard dick. You follow closely behind, but before you can cross the doorway, Crewel shoots his hand out to grip you by the upper arm, turning you to him as he towers over you, giving you an intense glare before sighing and pulling a small vial of bluish, iridescent potion from his bag and thrusting it into your hands.

"Since I know you won't be able to resist such a delectable temptation from that damn fishy bastard," his words drip with annoyance as he continues, "at least be safe, Pup. Go have a nice screw if that's what you really desire. The serum I just gave you is a contraceptive—just one sip and you will have full reproductive control, in case Azul isn't a decent man about his desires." You blink up at him in utter bewilderment. "Under no circumstances will I allow my star pupils to fall prey to the temptations and consequences of unprotected intimacy in the midst of this reckless hormone rush... I can't allow something like this to affect you or your ambitions. My students can only go to greater places." You feel his eyes burning with concern as he brushes your cheek, sending you a warning in his eyes and urging you to please think it through and consider it. "You are interested in Azul, are you not? I won't allow you to get involved in anything you don't consent to. If you don't feel safe, I can escort you straight to Ramshackle dorm and I will handle Ashengrotto myself." His stare, once cold and imposing, is now warm with protective care, as he looks you up and down with a gentle softness you didn't expect from your professor. The paternalistic expression on his face strikes your soul and pulls on your heartstrings a bit. After all, it's the type of support you feared was lost to you once you found yourself trapped in Twisted Wonderland with no hope of ever seeing your family again. With all the gentleness of a father, he squeezes your shoulder and gazes deeply into your eyes. You assure him that it's okay, you trust Azul. Nodding, your professor finally allows you passage out the door.

You had barely made it beyond the courtyard doors before Azul approached you with a sickly sweet, almost giddy look on his face. His steel-blue irises burned bright with anticipation, accompanied by a hint of something dark and salacious flickering in the shadows. The corners of his lips pulled taut, curling upward in a devious smile. A tremulous shudder passed through you and prickled up your spine at the thought of those hypnotizing eyes studying you while you lay enraptured beneath him, completely at his mercy. As he takes a few tentative steps toward you, his right hand glides and rests softly on your hip, making you gasp with surprise, your heartbeat fluttering and pounding deafeningly in your ears. Azul leans close to your ear, his breath coming out in hot, rapid pants, a carnal excitement that threatens to spill over and devour you whole. You swallow in nervous expectation, hardly daring to look into his lustful gaze. With his elegant index finger, he lifts your chin up and you are left gasping and flushed beneath him, lips parted to beg him for more as his gentle caress lingers. He flashes a devilishly handsome smile before tracing your lower lip with a seductive slowness. "Please, allow me to escort you back to Octavinelle where I can properly tend to you and your condition," the breathiness of his voice and his lack of composure cause your clit to throb, your inner walls pulsating, pleading to be stretched and ravaged. His lecherous advances and insinuations combined with the aphrodisiac coursing through your veins is making you so aroused, even standing close to him is threatening to make you cum. The very fabric of his essence seems to burn a shade darker—there is a terrifying intensity to his ardent desire for you, yet also a rawness and exposure you hadn't seen on his usually suave and polished facade.

Your whole body flushes when your gaze lands upon the size of his aching erection, an impressive tent straining tightly against his immaculate slacks, begging for attention through the dark material of his trousers. There is a manic, primal gleam that's spreading rapidly across his entire visage; he looks rabid with uncontainable greed, and you shudder at the thought that Azul will use your body to satisfy his own dark and twisted curiosities. "Please... It's the least I could do. After all, our most unfortunate situation is all due to my own recklessness," Azul pleads. His tone of voice is unwaveringly convincing in its sweet charm, yet you cannot escape the licentious twinkle that betrays his intentions, eyes ablaze with passion and lips quivering at the thought of making you his forever.

"Please... Just let me serve you and tend to your every whim," he begs. Even though the tone of his voice suggests innocence, you're reminded once more that Azul Ashengrotto believes the true intent in a plea is only to benefit his own ambitions—how ironic, then, that you find yourself overwhelmed with the desire to listen to the velvety cadence of his whispered sweet-nothings until you orgasm multiple times around the girth of his hard dick. Before you can speak, he reaches out and threads his fingers between your own. It was impossible to say no to the lilting honey of his tone, nor was there any will to fight as his firm and commanding hands ushered you towards the teleportation door. He practically pulls you into the mirror with him, and with a twinkly, delighted laugh, his covetous hand grasps you harder than ever as the portal draws closer, his eyes and touch almost reverential—eager, desperate, craving. The surface of the mirror swallows both of you up as the shadows distort the edges of your vision. The whole world spins around you both before the smell of the sea overwhelms your senses—the crispness of ocean air fills your lungs, and a feeling of cool relief washes over your flushed skin. In seconds, Azul is shoving you into an elevator and hitting the button to his suite. When the metal doors slide open, he gently shuffles you forward as he urges your body closer and closer toward his bedroom.

After his dorm door slams shut, your bodies mindlessly work to free the other's of their pesky and offending clothing, eager and restless fingers tearing and ripping at each article as though your lives depended on it. As each piece of clothing is discarded on the floor, new heated skin presses desperately into another as your erotic moans reverberate through the air. It feels electric, the way your sensitive, exposed bodies seek each other out, pawing and grasping at any available flesh and kissing any naked skin you can reach. Your hot, yearning mouth hungrily seeks Azul's for an urgent, feverish kiss—it is sloppy, desperate, almost savage as you share the intensity of your lusty feelings, gasping into each other's mouths, sucking, nibbling, tasting the sweet and sticky aphrodisiac concoction still lingering on both of your tongues. When Azul finally sheds his trousers, his painfully erect member juts out, throbbing and eager, bouncing happily and proudly as it quivers with eagerness. His knees weaken at the sudden release of the tension he'd suffered since the accident, the air a bit brisk against the heat of his erection, which begs to nestle itself securely into an inviting heat and fill your womb with the lusty seed it desires to spurt forth. His cock is ruddy and reddened, and his sack hangs swollen and tight with pent-up pressure. He doesn't think it possible for it to throb and swell even larger, yet its angry head and veins grow dark and twitch from his hot blood pumping. His hand mindlessly falls to his cock, and at the first stroke to his aching member, a needy whine catches in his throat. There is no time for shyness or apprehension. Whatever spell you were both under was driving you forward—like two planets caught in the gravity of an irresistible force, each gravitationally pulled toward the other with no means to stop. The rational part of his brain has been overwhelmed by an urgent instinct. Azul knows without a shadow of doubt that the only cure for this overwhelming haze of sexual depravity is to thrust himself deep inside the hot, velvety cunt of his precious lab partner.

Next thing you knew, you were pushed roughly, falling backwards before connecting against the smooth, luxurious blankets covering his mattress. He follows eagerly, letting his entire weight drop against your form and trapping your supple body beneath his. It was then, right then, when Azul found that the feeling of his aroused cock pressing against your thigh was unbelievably divine—a warm and pleasant tingling sensation spreading all over his hot, hard shaft and emanating out from his loins. With a contented hum, Azul can't resist the urge to buck his hips against your warm skin, stroking his arousal a little further, groaning at the exquisite friction. What a delicious sight you are—all nude and aroused—splayed and exposed across his bed. The effects of the potion have left you looking thoroughly wrecked, legs open, dripping and hot with an aroma so alluring, it nearly knocks the air out of his lungs. You are positively lovely, just as he'd always dreamed, with your petals unfurled and beckoning, enticing him further and drawing him in as your soft moans coaxed his cock in closer. To see you writhing and panting, the flush of your skin as you burned with longing for him...it was exactly as he'd always wanted it, almost as though someone had crafted the perfect image just to fulfill his darkest wishes. A surge of erotic fantasy comes upon him, and Azul's breath hitches in his throat as he ponders, briefly, about your womb filled with his seed, his beautiful angelfish round with child. He wants nothing more than to unceremoniously bury himself as deep within as he can, to push his thick, pulsating shaft as far as you could manage and stay buried to the hilt for days. His body quivers with excitement as a particularly vulgar dream reenters his mind. He had longed, always, to possess a most lascivious power over you—the power to make you writhe and squirm in bliss, and more importantly, in total and unbreakable dependence and submission for him—the neediest, sluttiest mess imaginable. Perhaps he'd have to thank Grim later for consequentially bringing about this fortunate chain of events.

Azul begins stroking himself fully, unabashed in his view of the sight before him. You don't protest the show. In fact, a high pitched, whimpery moan escapes you as you bite into your thumb to stifle the volume, but the sound is not missed, the harsh pang in his cock proof enough. After some thought, he realizes that he much preferred when you had been writhing and moaning quite uninhibitedly a moment earlier. You shift uncomfortably underneath his heated gaze as his eyes drink in every little curve, every little wrinkle and fold of your dripping pussy. Your toes curl inward and the ache deep within you demands attention. "You're so perfect, my little angelfish. Your body is exactly as I imagined," his saccharine voice admits as he leans forward, letting his fingers dance across the swell of your breasts. His left hand cradles your jaw and throat as his right continues its delicate massage across the plush pillow of your breasts, toying with the perked nubs of your nipples as his thumbs swirl small circles against the delicate flesh.

Azul's gentle touch ignites flames under his fingertips that follow his descent down to the juncture of your legs. The first brush against your swollen bundle of nerves and slit has your spine arching upwards, making his cock throb even more painfully, stiffening under the visual of your trembling body. A whine escapes and your hips grind involuntarily, the heat building intensely as his fingers begin to experimentally spread your folds slowly, running the tip of a finger from your core to the hood of your pearl. Without warning, Azul swipes upwards, expertly pulling back the hood and exposing the raw, sensitive flesh of nerves underneath, pinching down on the fleshy bud and causing you to yelp loudly in shock. With a satisfied grin, his forefinger begins to toy and tweak the hardened bud, rubbing gentle, rhythmic patterns over and over against the bundle as a chorus of delightful, high-pitched squeals fill his dormitory. After a few more ministrations, his hands continue down, delving his fingers straight into the moistened and heated opening, swiping up the slick mess you had coated his palm in. Two long fingers deftly slip right between your folds, caressing their way around your labia, your wet walls clenching around his fingertips desperately. "This wetness, for me?" Azul chuckles wickedly, crooking his fingers upward and brushing your g-spot with a knowing curl of his fingers, sending you spasming, gasping, and writhing in ecstasy, eyelashes fluttering wildly. "Oh, my dearest—so precious, my angelfish. That's it, so beautiful, just for me..." His voice drips with lecherous intent, his body moving without even the slightest hint of hesitation as though you were merely an extension of his own and not even a separate entity. Your wetness coats his fingers easily as Azul keeps sliding his fingers into your wet heat until the pads of his fingers touch all your deepest, hidden places, causing more sweet moans to fall from your lips and echo through his room. He scissors and curls his digits inside, stroking you slowly as though wanting to feel every bump, crease, and ridge along your walls, claiming his ownership over your deepest parts with a sinister delight.

A pressure builds and teeters precariously right at the precipice—the curling of his digits work feverishly to milk every drop of pleasure he can from your shuddering body, the warm flood of wetness drenching his eager fingers and making his head fall back with a sensuous moan. He continues with his relentless assault against your pussy, whispering filthy compliments about how badly he wanted to fuck you and how sexy it is when you take his fingers so well. Your legs flutter open wider, inviting his slim and nimble digits deeper within you, fucking them vigorously as your release begins to pool, rising closer to the boiling point. The aphrodisiac grips its poisonous talons deeper into your mind, warping and bending everything into an unshakable desire to submit yourself and your pleasure to the hands of the devious sea creature above you. He leans down, his silvery eyes roving over your face in an intense appraisal, his features drawn in with concentration, mapping out how to unravel you—there wasn't an emotion or micro expression that slipped past his vision as he carefully considered all the factors of how best to please and overwhelm your body with incomparable rapture. There isn't anything else beyond the present—no outside forces, nor worries about the consequences of being intimate. There's simply no room in your mind to think at this point, the cloudiness of the effects rendering your body vulnerable—you give yourself up entirely. He drinks up every breath, every shake and shiver, as he continues calculating your climax, relishing in each tiny noise or action he drew from you, meticulous with the acquisition of your bliss.

"Yes. Give in." he laughs maniacally, his face fully consumed in the intense madness of his lustful insanity. "Give in to every sensation. Let me drive you wild... Do as I command and cum," Azul demands you through his laughter, his breathing rapid and heavy as he watches your eyes rolling back. He moans in awe as the loud, slick sounds of his hand filling your soaking cunt meet his ears and a deep flush travels across his collarbones. His own needy cock leaks, eagerly anticipating what's next as its engorged state bulges obscenely, its every vein throbbing with virile desperation. Your high-pitched moans continue for some time as his pace stays fast, until you can finally feel your entire body tensing up, the fire coiling inside your gut ready to explode any moment. Everything builds higher and higher to the peak, every muscle and nerve fiber in your body primed to receive that last push that would send you catapulting over the cliff. As he feels your walls tremble, Azul moans along with your high-pitched wailing. A deranged smile stretches across his face and his silver eyes fill with amusement and fascination.

Azul leans into your ear, whispering sweet nothings mixed with commanding, demanding words to finally succumb, "That's it...Let go..." He twists and digs deeper, stroking the perfect places inside you, hitting the correct spots relentlessly in an overload of mind-bending, debauchery-fueled, electric-spark pleasure, forcing your senses to dissociate from reality. His thrusting hand matches the frantic racing of his own heart, unable to keep the carnal fever down. "Give in... submit yourself fully, and surrender that orgasm. It's mine. I've worked for it, and now it belongs only to me." He whispers in a devilish growl, nibbling on your ear as his strokes become rougher, harder, faster—you can hardly stand the overwhelming force of your pleasure before its sweet relief crashes like waves. A broken moan leaves your mouth, a pure exaltation of uncontrolled passion. Noises come tumbling out and spilling over until you finally dissolve into a messy orgasm, shrieking his name in pleasure as his hand slows its motions but doesn't stop, keeping its pressure steady and rocking the whole of your existence until your mind goes blank. "Such a good, obedient angelfish, giving me all of your sweet, succulent cum... all for me, yes?" Azul hums sweetly, teasingly. "Oh, this is so precious," he sighs, feeling the quaking and trembling of your fluttering walls. His expression melts into one of deep satisfaction and pride.

"There you go, my lovely angelfish. Just as I said I would," Azul croons. Without another word, his hand, wet with your desire, abandons its ministrations, pulling from your depths with a slick pop, leaving your empty cunt to tremble from his absence. Azul brings his fingers to his mouth for a lewd taste test, licking the juices from his hand as a self-indulgent smirk plays upon his lips. As he rolls the digits around his tongue, sampling the essence of your cunt, a sharp groan rumbles deep from within his chest, the vibration coursing down his spine and directly into his throbbing member. Even as his breath grows heavy from the feeling of his needy cock, the smug, triumphant smirk doesn't disappear. He enjoys the honeyed, tangy sweetness and savors the lingering sensation on his taste buds—another string attached, making it utterly impossible for him to let go. A low chuckle is heard from deep in his chest, dark and hauntingly mirthful. From his pleased sigh, you could easily read the insatiable hunger growing within his gleaming eyes—clearly the lust in his loins has only been ignited further—a starving, manic beast hungry for even more from your yielding form, an insatiable craving that can't be satiated so easily. His cock visibly twitches, begging for him to mount you and thrust his painfully aroused length as far as he can manage deep into your eager, spasming pussy. The aphrodisiac courses through his veins with all the potency of a tropical storm, whipping every nerve into a frenzy as the instinct takes hold in Azul's most primordial thoughts and drives all those cravings with an irrepressible urgency—he simply has to get your pregnant. Azul's cheeks flush with a reddish-pink shade as he fixates on you, the hunger in his gaze absolutely feral, filled with a single-minded lustful determination to breed you.

When your eyes meet his maddened, love-struck stare, you are overcome with the same desperation radiating from your womb, urging to be stuffed and claimed by his thick load. At last, the two of you had connected in this all-consuming fire—a conflagration of desire so severe and a love so encompassing that both of you could do nothing more than dance on the ashes and burn with the flames. In that moment of recognition, an irresistible, bewitching aura emanates from him and mesmerizes you as the air of mystery dissipates from his visage, the eroticized specter of the fearsome and dangerous, devious mogul melts away to reveal the raw intensity of the young man underneath, exposed in all his ardent, unfettered passions. Here stands Azul, naked with vulnerability, desiring only a love that no other has been able to truly give. He's always tried to prevent access to his real emotions, afraid of the kind of cruelty they would reap upon him if they were found. He didn't believe himself to be worthy of their regard, let alone capable of receiving someone's genuine affections. With you, though, there were none of his signature theatrics, no polite deflection, nor charming evasiveness; he gave you full permission to view him and all of his repressed feelings on full display. An open book, Azul trusts you enough to expose his heart fully, so transparent in his neediness. Since he brought you to his bedroom, there was never the slightest hint of deception in his tone—not once had he attempted to distract you, nor used a tactic or trick. Perhaps his true intentions for getting close to you were more admirable than you thought, his desperation to get close to you was merely just a pining for your love rather than a sordid trick. His earnest, loving gaze, combined with the grip of your desire, makes something finally shift within, like the turning of the tide—a sense that it was fated for you to fall and crash so desperately, madly, and completely for him—a long-awaited inevitability, just as he had already done for you long before this Alchemy accident. Azul was an adoringly gentle yet brutally powerful force, a pillar in your life you can lean into without hesitation. All of your fears, worries, and frustrations are suddenly null, evaporating into the thin air of Octavinelle, carried into the gentle waters outside the window and disappearing into the seas.

Nothing is more erotic than seeing his carefully maintained veneer crumbling before you and letting himself fall apart at the seams. No longer hiding his desires or his ambitions for you, Azul's lusty hunger has you excited, aroused, and turned on like never before. You return his lustful, hazy expression and Azul is drawn right into the softness of your inviting stare. Your mouth parts to allow a needy moan to pass as you buck your hips slightly, inviting him to finally claim your body as his, a beautiful sacrifice you're eager to make for a beautiful siren such as him. With a deep, lewd groan, Azul pushes off your trembling body, propping himself onto his knees and groping at your chest, making you mewl. There's no trace left of the smooth businessman persona, not even a hint of it lingers when his wet mouth kisses at your mounds and his large hands explore the contours of your curves, his fingertips desperately memorizing the way you're put together, tracing every bit of available flesh. His eager tongue swirls at your peaked nipples, moaning in appreciation and delight. Your mind is being swallowed by a bubbling wave of bliss that has no end as his hand trails across your hips, his touch is as gentle as a ripple in the water. With a shyly embarrassed flush and a sigh of wanton abandonment, you surrender entirely to him—letting the sea creature drown you in ecstasy, deeper and deeper, into the endless ocean. He caresses your stomach gently, the calloused pads of his fingers exploring the sensitive skin where he knows your womb lies. Your heart stumbles as his lips twist upward in an impish smirk at the thought of all the cum he's soon going to pump straight into the cavity. He palms your belly, which would soon carry his progeny as an inevitable result of this union, imagining his angelfish's stomach rounded and taut with his unborn child, perhaps, even more than once—Azul's thoughts are full of fantasies about filling you and fucking your pretty little womb over and over until he succeeds and you're blessed with his babies. Azul hums at the image of your pregnant body, worshiping the slope of your thighs and rubbing his hands up your waist and the undersides of your breasts. Azul knows that even if it doesn't work right away, he is more than prepared to breed you again and again as many times as necessary. He is more than certain you'll eventually give him a consortium of little octopus-human hybrids. After all, you'd offered yourself up in the end. Who was he not to take what was freely given?

He grasps the back of your knee to prop up your leg in the air, shifting closer. In one fell swoop, your tender thighs are flung open, revealing your glistening cunt. Azul moans, running the rough pad of his finger right up the slit of your lips. You're already a mess, his slick hand had not been able to satisfy your heat at all, it only created a further yearning deep within that could only be satisfied by his aching cock. Azul settles against the fronts of your thighs, letting the stiff heat of his bulging erection nestle against the dripping lips of your cunt, already poised and eager for insertion. The anticipation causes the two of you to tremble slightly at the intimacy, your lips wet and sticky as they run against the length, his cock drooling freely from the tip and leaking beads of sticky, precum fluid right across your folds. With one more affectionate, sweet peck against the corner of your lip, and another one right upon your forehead, Azul slowly glides inside. A shared cry of euphoria leaves your mouths simultaneously as Azul buries the full length of his throbbing cock into your sopping entrance, thrusting powerfully to hilt balls-deep. The pure, erotic rapture of finally consummating your love floods both of your veins. His dick is filling you in the most indescribable way and stretching your cunt so deliciously that stars appear behind your eyes. A glorious symphony of relief sings in your blood while his hard girth massages your innermost walls as though he were meant for no other—like he was perfectly made to be the puzzle piece filling your immaculate pussy. You both gasp sharply in unison as the sensation sends tremors down his shaft. Every vein, ridge, and inch of his length drags deeply with each thrust as he grinds you thoroughly, bringing your clits into tantric connection and rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves back and forth in perfect time with the rocking motion. Each snap of his hip makes the two of you share a joyful sob as he pleasures you in the most divine manner.

A low and sinful groan passes through your lips as your hands grip him tighter, begging him to increase his momentum and pace. Azul's hands clutch you in a tight embrace, his chest to yours with every inch of his hardness fully embedded into your velvety passage, sending white-hot sparks of pleasure shooting to the deepest recesses of your innermost being, triggering the sudden rush of a climax that is starting to rise to its precipice. Azul groans as your juices run down his balls, pooling around his sack and providing more lubrication for his relentless drive inside of you. You clench and flutter around him, squeezing your inner walls with every desperate urge for friction and movement, drawing Azul's eye right up to yours in a lusty daze. His body is coiling for release, ready to cum, and there's a glitter of utter happiness in his expression. His lips quiver with desire and he smirks as he feels you clamping and spasming around his rock-hard dick, begging him to breed you like the little slut that he secretly knows you are, all while knowing deep down you'd get so unbelievably plump and swollen with his hatchlings, he'd hardly be able to move his tentacles with all the kids crawling over him.

It's more intense, and far more electrifying than the filthy fantasies that had invaded his sleep every lonely evening whenever he gave in to his insufferable yearning for you. He'd envisioned this, over and over—what it would feel like to make you orgasm, just how satisfying it would feel to cum with you at the same time, and how heavenly it would be to stretch your cunt so snugly—and yet, in this moment, it surpasses his imagination exponentially, eliciting a complete flood of sensual pleasure all throughout his senses. Not even his wildest wet dreams had prepared him for the heady intoxication and undeniable high he experiences with you—being passionately and physically intertwined, wrapped around the most sublime euphoria that was possible—a wave so dizzying that there's absolutely no going back to life without the other once your bodies have succumbed and reached that ultimate, highest peak.

When Azul hits the point of no-return, his legs start shaking as though his limbs were going to fall off. His fingers tangle roughly in your hair as he drags your mouth closer to meet his. With each heavy thrust, he swallows every moan that erupts from your throat. His movements become less coherent, rougher, and disjointed as the strength of your cunt's embrace pulses tightly around his shaft and urges him toward the edge. Suddenly, an intense wave of satisfaction takes hold and shoots to the tip of his cock, pulsating violently in need to release its seed. Azul can't help but groan loudly into your ear as he slams his cock into you with ferocious strength, fucking the life and soul right out of your being while a high-pitched scream accompanies the splash and squelching noises of your pussy. Your mouth has gone slack, jaw dropping as you cry out his name and climax with such power that it whips you into a complete frenzy of desperation, sending your vision dancing with lights. You quake and shiver under the force of his fervor and ecstasy, writhing on the mattress and throwing your head backward to soak in your overwhelming, toe-curling rapture. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, pounding you fiercely as you wail and shatter with a rush of emotions so intense, you don't know if you will ever put yourself back together. A strained whine and a few sharp pumps later, a surge of hot, wet euphoric heat shoots from Azul's balls and spurts out in ribbons of his own spent climax as he spends his load of pearly cum directly into your waiting womb, splashing your tight channel with a continuous stream—painting every crevice of your silken, fluttering, vice-like depths a glossy white. Azul is unable to help himself as his hips start grinding into yours with slow rolls, fucking and stuffing every drop of his sticky cream deeply and ensuring it remains securely nestled in your folds. Every remaining bit of sexual tension floods out as though you'd been submerged in the most heavenly waterfall of pleasure imaginable. Azul whines weakly into the pillow and your moans join, eventually dissipating into a heavenly silence as you sink heavily back to reality.

Time slows to an almost stop and your vision gets a bit hazy and bleary as the aphrodisiac magic completely pulses away. You two lay side by side on the soft blankets, still in the bed and soaked with sweat. Neither of you move for quite some time. Just in the wake of your post-orgasm, everything becomes intensely surreal. You try to breathe quietly so Azul doesn't hear and as his head rests on your breasts. He, too, is heaving with difficulty, each inhale is a conscious decision. He clings tightly against you, hands threaded together like a lifeline, afraid to let go. One last sentence leaves his mouth—a whisper that could have easily been missed by anyone except for you. It was a question.

"Are we both in love?" Azul asks with such hesitance, you think maybe you've misheard his inquiry. He is lying right by your side. His face is dangerously close to yours, and the way his stormy, ocean azure eyes reflect every emotion swirling inside allows you to see the years of hurt that's plagued him. He's absolutely enchanted, like you are the perfect dream come true—everything he'd ever imagined in one living, breathing, precious human body—a lover so magnificent he could hardly comprehend. He studies your expression with awe and reverence. A look so intensely raw it burns right through your heart and lights up the space in your soul that you never before realized was reserved just for him. "Because I love you... Truly and deeply. So much that I don't know how it was possible, even," Azul admits freely, without the least hint of apprehension or nervousness. You can feel the intensity and honesty of his words radiate through his trembling fingertips, through the places where his naked skin touched yours—he doesn't try to mask the pure unadulterated warmth and delight that leaks through the shaky but firm expression on his flushed face.

A wide, cheerful and genuine grin breaks out against your features as you nod enthusiastically, and it is almost as though a heavenly, soothing light has poured over his entire world. It feels like a dream, a fairytale that is too good to be true. Yet here you both lie, doused in the magic of the concoction, clinging to each other and to that euphoric elation after giving in to the passions and the chemical bonds. It felt incredible, it felt natural and familiar and right. This wasn't anything artificial, rather the long overdue acknowledgement of feelings that were there all along—a kindling of romance that was never forced, but rather fanned to life after many days spent as Alchemy partners. After seeing each other every day, getting to know each other's quirks, and learning of each other's daily habits, the intimacy had bloomed and nurtured into something tender and real. The closeness the potion provided simply allowed the two of you the confidence needed to step across a boundary and pursue things.

"This won't be something short lived... you understand what I am saying, yes?" His tone has a tinge of fear creeping in and you can't help but stroke the outline of his cheekbones. This feeling will not end with a simple fuck, you knew that deep in the marrow. There will be more of that to come. In fact, the thought of it has your cunt pulsing, your sex aching at the idea. "I simply won't have you anywhere else but with me, and here in my dorm. I just won't be able to be happy otherwise..." Azul's voice quivers as the vulnerable sincerity flows.

"Yes, Azul. Yes, I understand and I feel the exact same," you chuckle and cradle his head. His blue eyes crinkle slightly from the beam across his lips, and Azul can't resist pulling you in for a feverish kiss, groaning from the rush. That familiar, sinfully blissful high is starting to take hold again, the rush of the aphrodisiac stirring something fiery back into a pleasant burn. The chemical’s grip on the two of you continues. After all, nothing will stop the magic from bringing you closer together. He murmurs a seductive promise into the curve of your throat that he won't stop until his load drips and slides right out of your swollen cunt—he's going to breed you the rest of the night and spill as much of himself deep within as he can. He has no doubt you're going to give him a child that will cement this loving bond permanently.

Listen I don't know HOW this HAPPENED, I DON'T understand how I wrote this much. I am DELIRIOUS and I need to go pick up some pizza for dinner, so I wish I could say more here but I can't right now. I'll update this part when I get back home. I just needed to get this out into the UNIVERSE. THANK YOU ALL!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! <3333 Erica Malleleothreesome

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zae-heeyyy · 2 months ago

Text

Evanesce

Summary: You try to runway. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x female!reader Word count: 3,673 Tags: angst, smut, mid-low honor Arthur, handjob, unprotected p in v, oral, breeding kink, tb? Don’t know her. Warnings: 18+ MDNI, toxic relationship

An: I feel like I ran a never ending marathon with this one. Drafted it a month ago, but I never really vibed with it. Challenged myself to just get it done and make sure I was proud of it. Once again, I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone. Shout out to @googoolies for the note idea! As always, I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Tagging @hihomeghere because you asked ❤️

Evanesce: to dissipate like vapor

Worn floorboards of Shady Bell wailed under Arthur’s weight as songbirds began their morning melodies. The gunslinger scoped the eerily empty, quiet camp for traces of you, but all he found was a folded letter on his pillow.

Echoes of your last conversation flashed in his mind as he tramped across the narrow room to retrieve the note. Two nights ago, The Old Guard overlooked their kingdom from the second-floor balcony as they discussed their plans to wage war against Angelo Bronte. Bile stung the back of your throat as two-thirds of the trio outruled the other. Hosea’s final words to Dutch and Arthur, “You’ll damn us all,” filled you with dread and the overwhelming feeling of impending doom.

Arthur avoided your shadowed eyes as he reloaded his weapons and ignored your outcry against Dutch’s plan. Your desperation had turned swiftly to indignation, and an argument commenced, your voices clashing like swords. You begged him not to go, pleading with the enforcer to listen to reason for once, to listen to you. But he pushed back with the shield of obstinance he had long forged for survival.

“I don’t take orders from you, woman, and keep your goddamn voice down.”

Thousands of tiny needles pricked at the backs of your eyes at the harsh directive, but you held firm.

“Arthur, if you go I’ll–”

“Don’t,” he warned dismissively, slinging his rifle over his shoulder and ambling to the door. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye as he twisted the knob. Your last words fell on ears deafened from years of gunfire.

“If you leave, I won’t be here when you come back.”

Two days later, Arthur masked his guilt with anger as he skimmed over the last piece of you left in the room. Four words in the polite loops of your handwriting taunted him: Saint Denis. Train. Running.

After a quick check of the cinch, he found himself begrudgingly engulfed in the city of smog and greed he’d come to hate so much. Riding through the maze of cobblestone, brick, and vermin was like laying under a guillotine, staring up at the blade and waiting for it to drop. Law on every corner, people jammed together, and now, Bronte’s men out for revenge–none of it felt right.

Taking in a breath that didn’t reach deep enough, he started his search for you in this hornets’ nest of a city. Most of the hotels and saloons served him with nothing but a heavy dose of adrenaline and dead ends. As he approached Doyle’s Tavern, his last stop, he dug his nails into his trembling palm, savoring the sting of apathy that came with the pain.

Arthur made a beeline to Gabe Doyle, reciting his rehearsed description of you. A woman standing beside him, whose garments had seen cleaner days, tapped him on the shoulder. The outlaw didn’t even look at her, didn’t give her time to speak before he rejected her with razor-edge disdain. When Arthur finished, Gabe only shrugged his shoulders, but the woman, still standing close by, let out a derisive giggle.

“He won’t be of no help, mista’. Coulda’ told ya’ for free, but it’ll cost ya’ now.”

Ire made his ears ring, drowning out all the other sounds in the slum’s saloon. He drummed his fingers hard on the worn wooden bar, the taste of pride sour on his tongue.

“How much?”

Cleavage spilled over her top as she leaned towards him and twiddled brazenly with the collar of his shirt.

“Well, for clients that play nice, seven dollars, but for you, rotten dirty bastard––times it by ten.”

A minute later, he exited Doyle’s Tavern not a cent lighter, heavy with an indefinite ban, but finally, a real lead on you. Four new mocking words overshadowed ones from the letter: Whore house; Courtenay Street.

A brothel—a goddamn brothel.

Instinct lured him to the debauched inn, and your name frothed from his muzzle in more of a growl than speech. Like a rabid dog, he snapped and barked orders at the women unlucky enough to be trapped with the beast on the arena floor.

They tried futilely to stop his march down the hall, tried to keep him from getting to you, but the chaos drew you into the colosseum and into the lion’s direct line of sight. You yanked the man-turned-animal by the sleeve and sealed yourselves away before he could do any more damage.

More tame now, sea storm orbs surveyed you in a quick but covert once over, then he spun on his heel, searching for anything else to focus on.

“Christ, been looking for you all day, woman,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

The lone wolf prowled the new territory for a threat but was only met with a vacant cave and the empty feeling of shame. Deflecting, he found your luggage, lifting the bags with the practiced ease of carrying buckets of water to and fro. His biceps flexed with the weight of your whole life in one bag, but he nodded at you, matter of fact.

“C’mon. M’taking you home.”

Home. You could’ve laughed if it didn’t hurt so much. None of these places had ever been home.

“I ain’t going nowhere with you,” you fired back, grabbing for the suitcase in his hand. A brief game of tug-of-war ensued, your grip relentless, Arthur’s unwavering, until he finally let you pull one of the bags free. He dropped the other and exhaled with the sharpness of a saber but stayed silent at the conclusion of your weaponless duel. He’d fallen in love with that gnawing defiance, but now it was tearing him to pieces, bit by bit until it exposed the marrow of pure anger.

“Runnin’ off is one thing.” His nostrils flared, and the timbre of his voice deepened as he carried on, “But running off t’here–– selling yourself?” He shook his head and blew air through his teeth, “Yer crazier than I thought.”

You whirled away from him, swatting your hand like he was as insignificant as a fly.

“And you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. Ain’t selling myself, you damn fool! And I’ll do whatever the hell I please. Right now, I want to get far away from this shit city and you.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, dragging out the words. “I know you just as well as you think you know me. If you wanted away–really wanted away–you wouldn’t’ve left this pretty little letter, and sure as hell wouldn’t’ve told me where to find ya’.” He retrieved the letter from his satchel, held it up just long enough for you to see, and crushed it in his fist before discarding it on the floor.

“That’s what I think of your pretty little letter.”

You had started a slow involuntary backtrack during his monologue, the flight response pushing back against the fight. He followed, sandwiching you between himself and the door.

“Screw you.” Scorn was hot on your breath.

Just as you thought to turn the knob, to free yourself from the prison of flesh and wood, the iron teeth of a bear trap, his fingers, clamped around your wrist, bringing your hand to eye level.

“And you still got something of mine.”

Both pairs of eyes landed on a small round sparkling opal set in a gold band on your left ring finger.

You’d never forget finding it on your pillow along with a letter from Arthur that just said, “One day…”

He had made promises he didn’t keep. First, you just had to wait for the Ferry Job. Next, you needed to survive Colter. Then you had to get far away from the Pinkertons, and most recently, all you needed to do was help case the Lemoyne National Bank. One last job, he’d told you. It was the same thing he said before leaving for that boat in Blackwater.

Contempt flowed through your veins as you tried to wrench free. God, you hated him right now, but you hated yourself more for letting him fool you.

“Let go.” You hissed, seething.

Your hand throbbed as he gave your wrist another squeeze.

“You first.” Then he nodded towards the stone on your finger. “My ring,” he demanded.

Your knuckles collided with the wood of the door with a hard knock as you freed your hand. You flattened your palm against the wood behind your back, guarding the ring from the career thief’s piercing gaze.

“No,” you shot back, sinking into yourself. “It’s mine.”

Your finger throbbed around the ring you’d seldom taken off. It had become part of you, melded to your skin like a vine coiled around a tree in a beautiful and deadly embrace.

“Yours?” he huffed incredulously, shaking his head, trying to form your words into something he could understand. For a short beat, the heavy huff and puff of his breath was the only thing you could register.

You had mined forever to find something other than cold coals of anger within him. You thought you’d found it—thought you’d finally struck gold when he confessed his feelings for you somewhere out west all that time ago. Now, you were left wondering if it was only fool’s gold you had stumbled upon. The cowardly knight was far too proud and far too afraid of getting stabbed to lay down his armor. But you were having a silent conversation with those sad eyes, reading words he’d never speak or ask aloud. What does that make me, then?

“Yours.” He answered his inner thoughts without hesitation.

Mine. You thought back but only stared at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of cracking under his scrutiny.

“Yours.” He repeated assuredly, final.

It was your turn to shake your head now; you could hear his vocal cords vibrating, generating sounds you were supposed to understand, but he may as well have been speaking another language because what the hell did he know about being anybody else’s? You repeated your thoughts bluntly.

For a moment, he looked stunned, but then his hand shot out, cupping your jaw and tilting your face toward his. He was so close, you could smell him now. The scents of liquor on his breath and leather in his hat permeated your whole being.

“You don’t think–” His voice was low and trembling with fury. “I been yours since the goddamn day I laid eyes on you, and you know it.”

Fight, flight, freeze, and now fawn all warred for dominance. Twin mirrors of blue cosmos peered into your soul, but you didn’t look back, knowing that black holes of destruction ruled in the center and could swallow you in the blink of an eye.

“You have to go, Arthur.”

You tried to reach for the knob again, but Arthur imposed on you further, his chest brushing against yours.

“No,” he said. “I ain’t going nowhere without you, and you ain’t going nowhere without me. M’done talking about it.”

It’s like he couldn’t listen, couldn’t hear you, couldn’t respect what you wanted. He only ever responded to shouting and violence. So you dipped down to his level, anything to get him to understand. Your open hand pushed full force against his chest, knocking the wind from him and making him stumble backward.

“You don’t own me, Arthur Morgan!”

But the shouting was no use. He closed in on you again, and you reached out, clenching your fists in his shirt to stop his advance. If he noticed, he didn’t let on, talking with a tight jaw.

“No, dammit, cause you own me.”

You balled your fists around cotton fabric and pulled him down into you, inhaling like you were bracing for the worst. This game, Predator and Prey, had become second nature to you. You would always be his fawn, thrashing and wailing, yet never escaping the salivating jaws of the coyote. And it always ended the same: a clash of heavy breathing and snarls before you surrendered.

Tobacco and whiskey never tasted so good, and they were just as addictive as him. Your teeth clashed together, and his left hand fell to your hip while his right twisted the lock on the knob.

He was never gentle, but now, he was almost crazed. Rough hands that were trembling only an hour ago were all over you, gripping your jaw, sliding under your blouse, pushing and pulling you to his whim.

“Falling in love with you was the dumbest thing I ever did,” you confessed as he removed his hat and set it aside; he had better access to you without it. Heat surged through you as his hands bit into your hips, pinning you in place against the locked door.

You mumble under your breath, “Bastard.”

So far, he was ignoring your attempts to rouse him; you were his pretty little doe, caught in his chops, and a few barbs wouldn’t keep him from utterly devouring you. Dipping his head into your neck, he fixated on that pulsing artery, taking no time to roll the flesh between his teeth.

“Goddamn asshole,” you huffed but cradled his head as he claimed you.

He brushed over the ruptured blood vessels with his knuckles, and the bastard was smiling, eyes glazed over with lust and self-indulgence. Electricity sparked down your legs as he looped his fingers in the waistband of your skirt.

You swore to yourself two nights ago that it was all over, that you wouldn’t let him slither back, yet here you were, Eve, being tempted by the serpent. Teeth sank into the forbidden fruit with the lift of your hips off the door, giving him permission to snatch both your skirt and bloomers down in a swift pull. Arthur didn’t need much persuasion to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil; a man like him could have never lived for eternity in The Garden of Eden.

The pair of you wore pride like heraldry, but neither of you was as honorable as you’d led the other to believe. You, provoking him with the threat of leaving, knowing you’d let this happen as you always did, and him never changing and never stopping the cycle of broken promises.

Your scent was intoxicating, but he held off from relishing it, studying your face like he’d done many times before. Something was different this time, though. Only for a heartbeat, you saw something in his eye, a minuscule hint of vulnerability. You blinked, and it was gone like it was never there, replaced by an unabashed smirk. You kept the insults flying.

“Jerk.”

Hearing the laugh rumble in his chest made your skin prick up the same way it did when a thunderstorm was brewing on the horizon. The cowboy braced his hands against your thighs and peeked up at you, his lips still curved in the corners.

He lifted his eyebrow in question, “You done?”

“Shut up,” you responded, tangling your fingers in his hair and guiding him, not so gracefully, to the heat between your legs.

Obeying, he flicked his tongue out to lap at you, drawing you closer in a hug, his palms resting on the curve of your ass cheeks. Steadying yourself against the door, you tugged on his hair like reins, but fuck, you didn’t want him to stop. You grunted and cursed under your breath as that gluttonous, greedy grifter feasted on you.

Blasphemous sounds rose up from your chest as you rocked your hips feverishly with every swipe of his warm wet tongue against your clit. Every tug of his locs and bump of your mound into his nose sent blood pulsing full speed to the bulge in his pants. He knew you were dancing dangerously close to the cliff’s overhang by the way you were keeping him in place, right where you wanted him. But the brute stopped and locked eyes with you, lips curved downward. That slight glimpse of vulnerability you thought you’d seen earlier was now on full display.

“Say you won’t go,” he choked out.

Down on his knees, looking up at you with genuine sincerity was the closest he’d ever get to prayer or penance. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat but didn’t answer him.

Instead, you ushered him back to his feet and crashed your lips into his again, tangling your tongue with his.

In a swift motion, you popped his suspenders loose while you walked him backward. The backs of his knees hit the bed, and he shimmied off his multiple layers just as quick as you unfastened the buttons on your blouse. You stood before him, a goddess, determining his eternal fate. And he waited, fixated on you, languidly stroking his engorged cock while you decided.

You replaced his fisted grip with yours, bending to meet his eye. The almost frown on his face made you wonder what he was seeing staring back at him. You imagined your pupils blown out, your lips swollen, and your hair disheveled. Arthur was the only man in the world who could turn you into a vixen.

“You’re a fool, Arthur Morgan.” Your noses were almost touching as you tightened your grip and stroked him painfully slowly. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he nodded, his face downright solemn.

“Mhm,” you went on, rubbing circles atop his hot, leaking pink tip. Your pace quickened as your cheek grazed his. A shiver ran through him as the vibrations of your voice tickled his ear.

“No good, thieving, murderous bastard.”

“I know.” He drew out, tightly clutching the sheets. With a firm nudge, you urged him onto his back.

“You don’t deserve me. Never did,” you continued. His hips jutted in time with your wrist, his climax sitting low in his balls.

“I–dammit–I–kn–know.”

The muscles of his stomach constricted as he fought for breath, damn near suffocating under your touch.

“I’ll change.” He gasped, eyes closed, and brow furrowed. “I’ll change. But–ahh–I ain’t ever gonna be good enough for you, woman–nghh–no matter how much changin’ I do.”

Air finally flowed back through with the halt of your pumping. The mattress sunk with your added weight as you slung your legs on either side of him. Neither party stalled. You gave him a quick nod before he could even ask, and he sank his length into your warm, wet pussy. There were no hushing kisses, no waiting for you to adjust, no cajoling, just the smacking of skin and the aroma of sex in the room as he molded you to his girth. Bashfulness had never even crossed your mind. You rode him tirelessly, whimpering, gasping, and filling the air with his name.

The roles reversed; you were the animal now, a lioness pursuing a buck. Chasing the high, you galloped hard and fast and grinding your hips against his to relieve the throbbing ache in your clit. You massaged the sensitive nub between your thighs, indulging in the pleasure you were giving yourself and receiving from him. The tip of his cock bumped that sweet spot inside of you, the one that made you tense and cry out over and over again.

You didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want him to know what he was doing to you or how he was making you feel–how he always made you feel when he was burrowed deep inside of you. You couldn’t hide from him, though. He knew you–knew the faces and sounds you made, knew the way you tightened around him, knew how you stiffened, knew how your breathing shallowed when you were on the edge. He knew the control he’d have over you forever.

“You ain’t going nowhere.” He grunted as he pounded up into you, the knot in his stomach tightening with his own upcoming release.

“Fucker,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, and you love it.”

You couldn’t deny it.

He took your hand in his and felt for the ring on your finger, stroking it, all while keeping eye contact and hammering relentlessly into your velvety walls. Four more thrusts and your eyes rolled back as the lightbulb of tension burst.

“That’s right, let it go, there it is.” Muttering, his upward ruts got sloppier as you rode out your body-spasming orgasm. Then he started babbling, lost in your sweet heat,

“Shit, I’m–bout t–m’close.”

The cowboy tried to lift you up, tried not to spill inside of you, but you buried your head in the crook of his neck and lowered yourself back down, taking him balls deep.

“Goddamnit,” he growled, hugging you to his chest, “the hell you doing, t’me, woman?” He panted and stared up at the ceiling like a man condemned.

“Ain’t going nowhere,” you echoed breathlessly, still bouncing, before adding, “Yours.”

In a few more strokes, he filled you up, grunting through his teeth and cursing up a storm that’d make even the most seasoned sailors look on timidly.

Outside noises of the establishment and the streets of Saint Denis droned back in as both of you came back to your senses. An ocean of things was left unsaid as you redressed and let Arthur lead you out of the room and to a proper hotel for the night. The next morning, you took Arthur up on his offer to get away for a few days. As the train you had boarded for your trip chugged on, something in the distance piqued your interest, a small homestead. You could vaguely make out a woman sitting on the porch and a man, presumably her husband, tending to a horse nearby. Of course, you didn’t know their life or their struggles, but if you could write your own happily ever after, it would be that. Arthur nudged you with his elbow, interrupting your daydream.

“M’sorry...about everything,” he said, low, barely audible. The perpetual ache in your chest had almost gone numb after so long. Almost.

“I know.” You replied and turned back to the window. The house was out of sight now, and you had a feeling your fairy tale ending had vanished with it.

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