#van helsing-ishmael

[intj-greenwords]

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

"To give an idea of the sort of nautical tomfoolery I had to slog through for this chapter, I will reproduce a small sample of dialogue; imagine, if you will, pages and pages of this bullshit."

I am never complaining about Van Helsing again

[theboyercannon]

me, finishing dracula daily: oh thank god Van Helsing didn’t keep a diary. that would have been insufferable

me, starting whale weekly: gotdangit ishmael

[classic-lit-couples-showdown]

Current Submissions

Submissions remain open until ~10pm pst tomorrow (March 3rd); submit through this form or the ask box

Those who have secured spots on the bracket (3 or more submissions);

Elizabeth Bennett & Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Enjolras & Grantaire from Le Misérables by Victor Hugo

Victor Frankenstein & Henry Clerval from Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

Faustus & Mephistopheles from Dr Faustus by Christopher Marlowe

Ishmael & Queequeg from Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

Mina & Johnathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker

Henry Jekyll & Gabriel Utterson from The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Other possible contenders (under read more);

Offred & Moria from The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Celie & Shug from The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Lestat & Marius from The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice

Gimli & Legolas from Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien

Samwise Gamgee & Frodo Baggins from Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien

Gandalf & Hobbits from the works of Tolkien

Romeo & Juliet from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Clarissa Dalloway & Sally Seton from Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

Anne Elliot & Frederick Wentworth from Persuasion by Jane Austen

Emma Woodhouse & George Knightley from Emma by Jane Austen

Maurice & Alec from Maurice by EM Forster

Margaret & Thornton from North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

Holden Caufield & Stradletter from The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

Charlie & Patrick from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Gene Forrester & Finny from A Separate Peace by John Knowles

Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn from the works of Mark Twain

John Yossarian & the Chaplain from Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

Jane Eyre & Helen Burns from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Lionel Verney & Adrian Windsor from The Last Man by Mary Shelly

Eugenie Danglars & Louise d'Armilly from The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Dante & Virgil from The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri

Hamlet & Horatio from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Lizzie Hexam & Eugene Wrayburn from Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens

Phileas Fogg & Passepartout from Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne

Huckleberry Finn & Jim from the works of Mark Twain

Sherlock Holmes & John Watson from Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Lord & Lady Macbeth from Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Beatrice & Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

Gilgamesh & Enkidu from The Epic of Gilgamesh

Heathcliff & Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Mr. Collins & Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Victor Frankenstein & Adam ('the creation') from Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

Dorian Gray & Lord Henry from The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Rodion Raskolnikov & Mitya Razumikhin from Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

First Mate Starbuck & Captain Ahab from Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

Charles Bingley & Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Jane Eyre & Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre by Emily Brontë

Jean Valjean & Inspector Javert from Le Misérables by Victor Hugo

Victor Frankenstein & Robert Walton from Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

Mary Catherine Blackwood & Constance Blackwood from We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Benvolio & Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Achilles & Patroclus from The Illiad

Ajax & Ajax from The Illiad

Jack & Ralph from The Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Telemachus & Theoclymenus from The Odyssey

Jo & Laurie from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Elinor Dashwood & Edward Farrars from Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Charles Bingley & Jane Bennett from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Jo, Amy, Meg, & Beth from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Jack Seward & Abraham van Helsing from Dracula by Bram Stoker

Henry Jekyll & Edward Hyde from The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Ned Land & Conseil from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne

Earl of Montararat & Earl Tolloler from Iolanthe

Fogg, Passepartout, & Aouda from Around the World in Days by Jules Verne

Guy Montag & Professor Faber from Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Nick Carraway & Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Napoleon & Squealer from Animal Farm by George Orwell

Antonio & Sebastian from Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

Antonio & Sebastian from The Tempest by William Shakespeare

[dangerousyako]

i feel like literature classes don't properly prepare you to the degree to which classical authors can spend pages and pages faffing about the most inane bullshit

Like obviously i was raised on Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas so i have experience with it, but i dont remember if a class ever really mentioned... what do we do with those extraneous paragraphs of texts? do we consider them part of the plot? do we consider them glosses, insights into the author, remote from the intrigue? who decides what is part of the plot and what is chaff? how do we decide?

which reminds me of those abridged version of classics that are used to teach to children/teens who dont have the patience to trumble through pages of digressions inbetween getting to the culturally important stuff - i think i read an abridged Frankenstein and an abridged Count of Monte Cristo

obviously the didactic nature of school classes means that you have to use a relatively dense text to teach the important stuff you want to teach, because you can't spend any percentage of a 55-minute class on "and then the author decided to explain for five pages the history of cobblestones, let's see what we think about that" when you're trying to explain things like character viewpoints

which got me to thinking about the Princess Bride (the book) which claims to be an abridged version of one such text, and at some point mentions removing long pages of ramblings about beautiful trees, who were written because the original author was in a neighbourly dispute about his trees

but that's author digressions - i don't know if ive ever seen discussion on what it means when it's in-character digressions, such as the Van Helsing Corn Monologues (historically corn still meant "staple grain" and not "maize" in most forms of English until the middle of the XXth century, and "korn" is still distinct from "maize" in... about every other language that uses it) (so Van Helsing was using a religious metaphor and referencing biblical parables, jsyak), because in-character Seward and Mina still chose to transcribe the lengthy speeches, and then in Moby Dick

because Ishmael, my good bitch, what the fuck does "Try this experiment if you're ever in a desert with a metaphorical professor!" even mean

[monjinator]

I posted 5,300 times in 2022

That's 5,300 more posts than 2021!

10 posts created (0%)

5,290 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wanderlogged

@theroseandthebeast

@heartbranches

@hugintheraven

@thetravelerslight

I tagged 1,952 of my posts in 2022

#dracula daily - 377 posts

#batfam - 103 posts

#mcr - 64 posts

#our flag means death - 61 posts

#batman - 61 posts

#lord of the rings - 53 posts

#here and queer - 42 posts

#stranger things - 40 posts

#goncharov - 36 posts

#the witcher - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#okay but also geena davis throwing first the suitcases then kit on the train changed something in me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“There is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid.” We are starting off strong with stunning insights from Ishmael

110 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#4

Tim wants his OWN home and his OWN family and that home is a houseboat and that family is his boyfriend, noted conspiracy theorist Bernard. This series is making me so happy

159 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#3

Dr. Seward was over here already prepping himself to give blood and Van Helsing really went “Step aside, twerp. We need the beefcake and his more vigorous blood.”

358 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#2

Mina: Something is definitely wrong

Mina: He didn’t even send me ONE recipe

917 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Van Helsing has spent weeks dancing around Lucy and the Three Suitors and trying to make the proper precautions without coming out and saying IT’S A MONSTER and within 20 minutes Mina is presenting him with a neatly typed and formatted paper laying out every detail of there being a monster. No wonder he is overcome. He’s no longer the only one working on the group project.

6,542 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tparadox]

Who would win between Ishmael and Van Helsing for most words spoken per actual thing said?

[omiramotakiart]

Unamed 19th century literature crossover ideas, possible angst incoming:

This happens from 1900 to whenever I feel like stopping.

Johnathan is a stay at home dad, he works from home.

Mina and Van Helsing are the local paranormal investigators.

The business is called Van Helsing and Harker's , they couldn't come up with a better name...

Let's call the creature Adam, see... Adam isn't dumb and for the sake of angst he's been trying to build himself some friends after finding Victor's notes or something like that.

All the atemps have failed.

Van Helsing is in his 60s on the original book so... he's been on this since a young age... constant flashbacks to mid victorian novels (I love the fashion from those eras)

Possible necromancy? In this crossover? More likely than you think.

Good old Abe had adopted Adam and is training him as an apprentice

Johnathan is being supportive.

"Oh so that's our new friend... can he babysit Quincy Jr. For a couple of minutes? I need a break..."

Baby Quincy Jr.

Badass mama Mina has guns and crossbows and a bunch of enchanted jewelry.

I like to think the events of Jekyll and Hyde happened during the 1880s so... necromance the dr.

Him and Hyde are the local cryptid.

"They say he's a deformed giant figure with sharp teeth and claws and the strenght of a dozen men!!!" Nah, honey he's just an edgy old guy who refures to wear his glasses, os built like a hunched over twig and needs to take better care for his hair.

Idk how but possible Alice randomly popping out from Wonderland... she would be in her 30s I think...

Something about young Abraham meeting old Ishmael to get nautical cards or details. Will be important later... probably.

Necromanced Dorian Gray, still a bitch.

"I don't care if you are 40 or one hundred, you look like a teen and don't you dare talking to me like that young man, I can break you in less than a minute!"

Mina Harker, probably...

Somehow Adam is the only one with enough common sense to know not to do something stupid.

Mina has common sense but chooses not to listen to it.

Carmilla reference??? I mean we gotta have vampires.

Obligatory mention of Edgar Allan Poe's work.

Let's just say Ishmael spent his last days with certain man who the world thought had drowned but in reality just wanted to stay away from all the bullshit

They are married and the book said it.

Queequeg deserved better.

Thanks to OSP I'll assume Arthur and Jack are a couple and either their wives are fake or it's lavander marriage

Let's not lie to ourselves all the references to Jules Verne works are here for the sake of teampunk

Needless to say most people here are queer

Adam actually gets along with Quincy Jr.

Were you brought back to life by any employee of Van Helsing and Harker's? Well shit now that means you will babysit for the Harkers or be adopted by Van Helsing

Don't you try teaching stupid shit to the child, Dorian, your portrait can always be shanked...

Jekyll is just a grandpa, good for him

[the-quasar-hero]

watching it as a kid i missed a lot of things in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Obviously they are all book characters, but i didn’t have the knowledge of classic literature that i now do. like i didn’t know the american was supposed to be Tom Sawyer, Or that Captain Nemos first mate introduces himself with “Call me Ishmael” which is the first line of the classic Moby Dick. i straight up didn’t know who Dorian Gray was. The antagonist, The Fantom is the Phantom of the Opera. The mention of Van Helsing. All that and the fact that they’re trying to prevent what is basically World War one. anyway a movie ahead of its time, it would’ve done better nowadays what with movie tech and all   

[intj-greenwords]

Ishmael: If Abraham Van Helsing can do this (M. D., D. Ph., D. Lit., etc., etc.,) then my boy Queequeg can do this: (S.W.F., E.H.P., W.D.H., E.H., C.P., etc., etc.)*

*Sperm Whale Fishery

Embalmed Head Pedlar

Whale Death Harvester

Experienced Harpooneer

Cannibal Prince

[intj-greenwords]

Van Helsing Ishmael Tolstoy: Let me tell you about bees.