#vampire au???

[akagone]

[mrs-nightshade]

Istg, my brain is deciding to drag my ass back into Ninjago and there are NO fanfics with Zane as a killer robot??? or even a vampire??

I swear if I have to do this shit myself, I cannot write but has literally nobody else thought of this???

I need this idea out of my brain but I don't wanna do it if nobody is going to read it other than me, at that point might as well just leave it rattling around in my head...

[garbeanery]

Malevolent - Vampire AU

-

John: Vampire Help Hotline, What can I do for you?

Arthur: I just... I miss garlic bread...

John: ...You're immortal and don't choose to, I don't know mourn a dead friend, crave garlic bread?

Arthur: Oh my apologies, maybe I should just hang up—

John: No! No, keep talking. (this man is payed by the hour)

Arthur: Well, I just miss it. You know? Craving for something you took for granted. "You only miss it once you lose it" type of thing.

John: I think I can understand the sentiment. Do you miss anything else from before the vampirism?

Arthur: I miss seeing my face in the mirror. It was easier to shave, then.

John: I never thought of that before, why do you miss garlic bread?

Arthur: Well, I don't really miss it entirely. I'd love to get a slice but I miss knowing what it tasted like. I mean, it tastes like garlic but I feel like these days I forget more things and that scares me.

John: Hm. Whenever I eat it, to me it starts with taste. It smells aromatic, the smell of garlic wafting even if I haven't yet brought it to my nose. The taste, however, is buttery and savory. The olive oil tastes fresh and rich, you know what olive oil tastes like, right?

Arthur: Mmh, yes.

John: The garlic tastes almost sweet from the toasting. It's accompanied by a crunch from the crust, but the inside is very soft still. The strong flavor of the garlic butter seeps into the air pockets of the sourdough, infusing with the bland fluffiness of the bread itself.

Arthur: (distasteful noise) god, that sounds so good right about now. Not sure if you heard but I was gulping down saliva while you were explaining.

John: The audio quality isn't very good from these old-timey telephones. What with the medieval vampires being unable to grasp technology. Stupid to be a vampire when you can't even adapt to a future.

Arthur: ouch. You are right though. Thank you for this.

John: You're welcome.

------

John: He fucking GULPED, Noel! GULPED. And- and he made these noises, who moans over fuckin- fucking sourdough?!

“Vampire help hotline, what can I do for you?” “I just… I miss garlic bread…”

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

the werewolf stan is amazing btw thank you

No, thank you!!! In fact, here's more just because you sent this ask (and probably the other one too, I love you)!!!!! More!!!!!!!!

They are liars <3

Part one is here!! ;P

Part three is here!! 'cause I can't control myself 😔

[macaulaytwins]

they would’ve run the PTA like the navy

[ursiday]

🐺🦇 AU

[mrghostrat]

oh my god i finally thought of a vampire au that i'm completely unhinged for. i am about to be so insufferable about this

vampire aziraphale x vampire hunter crowley. and no, neither of them realise they're hereditary enemies when they hook up. they're dorks and idiots your honour.

edit: fic is here c:

[kingprinceleo]

vampire au- post ive been thinking about for a while theyre so funny to me

[ezjiik]

Dog

[oobbbear]

She’s singing about fries

[scurvyboy]

happy halloween to them only

[qoolk]

Thanks to ezjik now I’m in this werewolf/vampire fiddstan club too

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[todoga]