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caramel1mochi · 4 months ago

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One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [End]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

Words: 3k ‎

Synopsis: One winter before his disappearance, you told your boyfriend Yu about a question you’ve had for so long; one even he could hardly respond to. It took many more hopeless winters for you to finally have your answer.‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.

We're done with Iso!! As per the vote, I'm moving on to Yoru once everything's ready. And man is he as painful to write as I remember haha

‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Spring, present day.

ㅤㅤ

It took you a long while to decide on whether that was one of the worst or best months of your life.

On one hand, you came back with a quarter of the harvest you were supposed to get, and you had to wait for a while until your lemon trees would bear fruit once more. That, and working with only thirteen lemons turned out to be much more difficult than you thought when it comes to baking.

And on the other hand, it was fun attempting to come up with workarounds with Ying. That, and you woke up the next morning with a new sensation that wrapped around you like a clingy lover. And it wasn't anything like the miserable pessimism you hauled around, or like the apathy that…

No, no. It was apathy.

But a more positive kind of apathy. One that beckoned you to come to terms with many dilemmas in your mind. One of them being that winter was just... winter. A season. And like every other season, it had its ups and downs. It wasn't some omnipresent being out to get you, or whatever.

And quite frankly, this apathy was the best feeling you've ever had in a long... well, in your entire life. You woke up looking forward to the day, with a desire to actually get things going.

And that's exactly what you did.

You spent the past three months selling those plants back in your apartment at that nursery, you made friends with that lady who recommended you do such a thing, and now you were back at Yu’s house to check in on your growing orange trees. Heck, Yu’s neighbours even started greeting you whenever you came by.

They definitely saw you carrying the baskets of fruit and wanted some. Maybe you should use this wealthy neighbourhood to your advantage, you mused.

ㅤ

Ying called you earlier and mentioned discussing the state of her café with you since she had ‘more important matters to get to’. And you didn’t really mind, despite still being a mere barista, but she said she’d discuss the details by afternoon… But the location? Yeah, she promised she’d get back to you on that after she’d decided.

You moved down the short corridor, your eyes taking a moment to adjust to the strong rays that poured through the windows of the doors. The darkness around you did not help ease the pain of such a bright light. But even then, you wrapped your free hand around the handle and forced the door open, allowing the brightness to finally balance itself out.

You noticed something yellow out of the corner of your eye. And you would’ve dismissed it if you hadn’t turned to look at what it was. It was… inside the basket. There was one Meyer lemon, probably from that harvest months ago that the two of you missed. It kind of made sense that you’d forget it. You haven’t really visited this house after that day, not with the ongoing streak of snowstorms. And, you know, Ying’s persistence on keeping you safe.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of a nearby mosquito. And immediately, you dropped the watering can and crushed the bug, instantly killing it. Now that you considered it, the one good thing about winter was the lack of annoying insects. That, and the fact it helped plants rejuvenate after a harvest, and that it kept earth’s temperature in check, and…

No, nevermind. You didn’t want to be warming up to winter. Pun intended.

You moved back towards your growing orange trees and observed their shape for a moment. And like the row of lemon trees right behind them, they looked as otherworldly as they were. The white flowers on it looked even prettier under the sunlight’s strong glare. Much prettier than in the winter, but they both had their charm. Super photogenic.

Just as you grabbed the watering can up from the ground, your phone vibrated with an embarrassingly loud ringtone, and you pulled it out of your pocket only to discover that Ying was calling. At the worst time as well, you thought as you answered and held up the device to your ear.

ㅤ

"Hi."

ㅤ

"Y/N, I've decided!"

ㅤ

Her voice took you by surprise more than the ensemble of loud chirping birds around you.

ㅤ

"Decided?"

ㅤ

"We're going to meet up on the bridge. Do you remember it?"

ㅤ

You kept the phone held up against your ear with your shoulder, grabbing one branch and gently pushing it aside so that the water from your can could reach every crevice of the tree.

ㅤ

"The bridge...?"

ㅤ

"Yes! I was told it looks ethereal in the spring, and it truly does! Ah, and it's closer to the train station than I thought. We can use it as a landmark for when we leave. What do you think?"

ㅤ

You continued watering in silence for a moment. It looks ethereal in the spring? Who the heck told her that?

Whatever, it wasn’t your job to question everything.

ㅤ

"That can work. When do I come by?"

ㅤ

"Actually, I'm already here."

ㅤ

You immediately stopped watering.

ㅤ

"Already? Ying, the least you could've done was give me a heads up."

ㅤ

“I’m sorry, but I have something scheduled for sundown! I’ll see you there, okay? I promise you, it’ll be worth it!”

ㅤ

She closed the call before you could retort.

She was probably going to promote you or straight up just hand you the café. What with how busy she was starting to get and how much she disappeared, it wouldn’t surprise you if it turned out to be actually that. You didn’t really mind taking control of the café, now that you thought about it… Oh, but the idea of dealing with your co-workers’ minute problems sounded like pure torture.

You sighed and continued watering your plants in silence, quickening your pace so that you’d be able to make it to her in time.

ㅤ

It took you a while, but eventually, you made it. And the only guidance you used was the pitter patter of the children’s feet as they ran around and cackled, alongside the melodic chirping of the birds. The bus left a trail of smoke as it sped off, but this one mild inconvenience was immediately drowned out by the sight before you.

Ying was right, the place looked like paradise on Earth now that it was spring.

The waters were crystal clear, the trees were full of life and the grass on the ground vibrated with an enigmatic amount of cheerfulness. Almost like they were harmoniously swaying to a tune you couldn’t hear. Had someone taken a picture of this place, you would’ve convinced yourself it was just editing and that there was no way Earth would look like this.

But it did, you mused as you approached the bridge.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at a comfortable spot and rest your arms on the warm railing. Thankfully, despite your short height, the railings weren’t too tall and your loose clothes allowed you maximum flexibility to peer through to catch a glimpse of the waters. Short enough for you to be able to comfortably lean on it, but not so short children could fall down.

Your eyes were firmly fixated on the lake. And for the first time in so long, you felt... content.

You still didn't know what your goal in life was. You still didn't know why you should keep going, among many other questions like that. But all you knew was that the path your life headed in... Well, you didn’t want to change anything about it.

What would tomorrow look like? You pondered with a fond smile, holding up the Meyer lemon just above the lake and allowing the sun's light to shine in on it. And it beamed. It beamed with celestial beauty unfathomable to the human mind.

This was your harvest.

You put down the lemon with an even wider smile and stared at the lake instead, the fish that swam by. Tomorrow sounded amazing, now that you thought about it.

And you looked forward to it.

ㅤ

"Y/N?"

ㅤ

A soft voice promptly came up from behind you. You sighed and stuffed the lemon back into your pockets, before turning around to meet her gaze.

ㅤ

"What took you so long? I thought you were in a hurry–"

ㅤ

The moment you locked gazes with a familiar pair of lilac eyes, your breathing hitched, and time stood still.

It took a moment to comprehend that this person wasn’t Ying. It wasn’t Ying at all. It was… You felt your heart drop as you rapidly looked the figure up and down.

Broad shoulders, purple eyes, black hair, tall stature…

It was Yu. He stood only a few feet away from you; and he donned a meticulously designed hoodie with collars tall enough to conceal the lower portion of his face. One you had never seen before.

The words were lodged in your throat. Scratch that, no, your mind went completely blank, and the world felt like it started breaking apart.

ㅤ

“Yu…”

ㅤ

"Y/N, I..." He took a step forward, the floorboards audibly creaking under his weight. "I'm so sorry."

ㅤ

His voice had a sombre undertone. Slight and drowned out by the mirth that surrounded the both of you, but it was still telling. It was one that successfully let you know that he drowned in regret, all without saying a single word.

And yet, you still weren't sure how to feel about this. Sad? Happy? Furious? The second option was the most obvious one in your mind, but for the love of God, you just couldn’t form a single thought in your head. Heck, you couldn’t even comprehend the situation in general. All you knew was that Yu was here. And that was… No, wrong wasn’t the word.

His hand gently clasped your shoulder, and a familiar warmth landed alongside it.

ㅤ

"I'm sorry it took so long, but I- I was caught up in so many things, and it all just..."

ㅤ

He then pulled you into a hug. Your cheek slammed against his chest, the impact only cushioned by his thick hoodie.

ㅤ

"I missed you."

ㅤ

You didn't react.

For a few seconds, you stood there with a stiff posture as you stared into space, unsure whether you should return the hug or just stay silent and not do anything. This whole situation felt unreal. It felt like one of those hyper realistic dreams your brain would conjure up whenever it decided it wanted to escape your pitiful life, but that sprinkle of hope always scattered the moment you woke up. But it wasn't. In fact, he stood right there, the familiar scent of lemons taking over your nostrils on account of how close he was.

Yu was here… He was present. He came back.

Though you shut your eyes as hard as you could, tears still formed against your will, and they were quick to stream down your cheeks.

ㅤ

"Where..." you started, "Where were you...?"

ㅤ

You weakly pulled away, but Yu still kept you in his grip. And you immediately took this chance to observe him all over again despite your incredibly blurry vision. It was as if those years had never passed given his features. He still had that same enchanting face, and those pretty lilac eyes that always tore away at your stress with just one glance.

ㅤ

"After all this time..."

ㅤ

You held his cheek and caressed it. His pale skin yielded under your touch, and the palm of your hand outlined the sharp structure of his jaw. The softness of his skin, the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes juxtaposed to his stony expression… All of it was all so familiar.

ㅤ

"Why did you leave me, Yu?"

ㅤ

"I'm– I'm sorry, Y/N. It wasn't my choice. If I could take it all back, I would–"

ㅤ

"Why did you leave me?!"

ㅤ

You burst into tears and clutched his hoodie, burying your head in his chest.

ㅤ

"I thought you were dead! I– I thought that– I thought... I thought I lost you...!"

ㅤ

Out of pure instinct, Yu was quick to bring you closer and tightly hold you in his arms.

ㅤ

"I'm here, I'm here, okay? Nobody's dead."

ㅤ

"I thought you died, Yu! I thought you were dead, I– thought you were..."

ㅤ

Your sobs and nonsensical babbles continued. It was all the same repetitive questions about his well being, and more specifically, how you thought he was dead. Each sentence you managed to complete felt like another blade plunging his heart, only further drowning him in guilt.

And unfortunately for him, the only thing Yu knew to do in this situation was hold you and gently caress your back.

ㅤ

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I– I should've explained it all from the beginning. But I... didn't want to lose you if I ever did."

ㅤ

He knew how stupidly soft you made him. How he'd stutter when speaking to you, and how wide his smile had gotten when you two first hugged, your arms squishing his thick white hoodie just to reach his form. The same hoodie he spent hours washing blood off of the night before.

Maybe he should've told you.

ㅤ

"I thought you were dead, I– I thought... that gun, you–"

ㅤ

Though you followed these loosely strung sentences with a curse, one specific word successfully pierced his bubble.

ㅤ

"Gun? What gun?"

ㅤ

This question seemed to bring you back as well. You pulled away, and just the sight of your red cheeks and shimmering eyes, aching with raw emotion, all of it was enough for him to understand how much this impacted you.

ㅤ

"I saw that gun. N– next to that medallion." You furrowed your brow, the sun sharply highlighting your tear-stricken face. "Is that it? Are you in a gang, Yu? Is that what you couldn't tell me?!"

ㅤ

"No! I– I wasn't in a gang, Y/N. It's..."

ㅤ

Yu's gaze fell. Unintentionally, he instead eyed your trembling hands.

He couldn’t hide this anymore, could he?

ㅤ

"I– I'm... Look, as unbelievable as this sounds, I– I was a… I was a hitman."

ㅤ

"...You were what? A hitman?!"

ㅤ

"Yeah. I… That’s the truth."

ㅤ

You narrowed your eyes. It really was unbelievable. How could someone like him be capable of killing someone? No, not someone, but people? And for a job?! You would’ve labelled him a liar if it weren’t for that blasted gun.

Then, a name popped up in your mind, one that seemed to support this idea.

ㅤ

"Iso...?"

ㅤ

He went blank for a moment.

ㅤ

"...That's, uh, no, that's a code name. I switched to a profession less... suffocating. That's what they call me now."

ㅤ

"Ying was in on this?"

ㅤ

Yu's face blanched. But quickly, he held your hand and firmly kept it in your grip.

ㅤ

"She was my only way of knowing you were alive! There wasn't any– Y/N, look, none of this should've happened, I know I should've been honest from the beginning, but I didn't want you to leave if I ever told you!” His eyes darted elsewhere. “Ying wasn’t happy when she found out, but I–"

ㅤ

"I’m not like her! I never would've gone anywhere! You could've been the devil and I still would've stayed because I wouldn’t have kept going if you weren’t there!” You furrowed your brow. ”But that's not the case anymore. I still love you, but I know what I deserve, Yu. I know I deserve a relationship that isn't... one-sided..."

ㅤ

You suddenly choked on your words. Yet, he was quick to respond when he could.

ㅤ

"But we can have that, Y/N! We can start anew, no more secrets. Nothing between us, okay? Nothing but the truth. Just, please..." he squeezed your trembling hand, "give me one more chance. I promise I'll make you the happiest woman on Earth."

ㅤ

Tears began to flow once more, tracing the same path as the ones that had dried out mere seconds ago.

For a moment, your eyes slammed shut, and you used this pause to both catch your breath and comprehend the situation. It was hard to make a decision. Sure, you were unbelievably mad at everything. At Ying, at Yu, at the world, and especially those people who held Yu hostage, if his words were to be believed.

But, Hitman…? It sounded so unbelievable. Yu was just way too kind and pacifistic to commit murder. It sounded impossible.

Almost mechanically, You rested your head on his chest, lying limp as he wrapped his arms around you. The lack of aversion on your side registered as permission for him to hold you. Not that he still didn't remain incredibly cautious.

ㅤ

"Happiest woman on Earth..."

ㅤ

You muttered ponderously to yourself. You were already happy. But you knew you’d be happier with him. Even after everything that happened, you missed having him by your side again. You missed his curious little questions about things you considered mundane, and that endearing look of realisation as you explained it to him…

Then, a smile lifted your lips.

ㅤ

"I missed you, Yu." You hugged him back. "From now on, you’ll be honest with me. About everything."

ㅤ

Being this close to him, you felt the jump in his palpitations as he registered these words.

ㅤ

"I will! I will. I promise."

ㅤ

You closed your eyes, allowing the familiar scent of lemons to enter your nostrils and put your mind at ease once more. The two of you stayed like this for a second. It felt like this embrace’s sole purpose was to make up for how much you two missed each other. Of course, he knew he would’ve lost a bit of his sanity had he not known about your whereabouts, but he also knew that saying that probably… Maybe it’s best to keep quiet. Thank God for Ying’s updates…

Then, his eyes shot open at the mention of the healer.

ㅤ

“Hey, let’s go home. I have so much to tell you.”

ㅤ

You pulled away and wiped your cheek once more, noticing the eagerness etched on his features. You nodded.

ㅤ

“I’d like that.”

ㅤ

With that, he held your hand and helped you stand up, and the two of you began walking away from the bridge. His thumb promptly began tracing the lines on your palm all on its own. And of course, you couldn’t help but wistfully smile at this familiar

Despite everything, you couldn’t truly hate this man, no matter how much you knew you had to. You just wanted to know how this gentle giant was supposedly a hitman.

You rested your head on his shoulder as you moved.

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portraitsofguilt · 2 years ago

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Hiii moss :D can we get some fluffy morning cuddles with jett, reyna or sage? love your work sm ur very talented <3

✮ ┆ morning cuddles w/ sage, reyna, and jett !

a/n this took so long, purely because I was getting too deep into the horny shit LMAO but I hope despite the months of wait this is something to you ppl’s liking :)

cw for sfw content, gn reader, cuddling

✮ jett ;

you move around under the covers slightly, stretching your legs before rolling onto your side as you came to. there was hardly any muscle in your body that woke up in time with your brain, still feeling the heaviness of the sleep in your legs and arms as you turn your head up slightly, glancing up at sunwoo.

“did I wake you?” she whispers as she pushes one side of her headphones behind her ear, her other hand fumbling around with the turn off button on the side of her phone. you shake your head, blinking a few times with a big yawn that has your jaw aching while trying to scoot closer to her.

“no, you didn’t.” you hum into her arm that you wrap yourself around it, pushing your head into her shoulder as your fingers intertwine with hers. jett gives your hand a squeeze before offering you to watch whatever she was watching together if you were interested. you gave her a little nod, telling her you’ll listen in because you are not sure if you can keep your eyes open.

“alright then, I’ll make sure you it’s not too bright.” she chuckles, leaning to put her head on top of yours as her free hand managed to turn the phone’s brightness down and disconnect her headphones. jett nuzzled her nose into your hair, laughing as you shake her a little to get her to stop.

✮ sage ;

the sound of the sheets rustling around stirred you from your sleep, making you reach over to the other side of the bed as you took a deep breath in before yawning. through the thick fog of sleep in your eyes you try to make out the silhouette that is just getting up from the bed. you groan, reaching for its hand but you only manage to bump your fingers against its skin.

“it’s still early, go back to sleep.” you hear ling whisper, her hand stroking the top of your hand while the other is pulling the covers back up on your chest. you shake your head, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her back next to you.

“five more minutes...” it comes out as a mumble from your mouth as you pull her closer, laying your head on her chest and essentially pinning her to the bed with your arms wrapped around her shoulder. sage chuckles as you lay on top of her, giving your back a few rubs before enveloping you in her embrace.

“I guess five more minutes can’t hurt.” she says, a smile plastering on her lips as she lets herself get comfortable once again, breathing in her hand cream’s and your hair’s scent. she brings her hand up to the nape of your neck, dragging her fingernails gently over your skin, caressing your shoulders as she listens to your calm breathing.

✮ reyna ;

waking up at this moment was the bane of your existence, you could have used a little more sleep as you felt the dull ache settling into your muscles from yesterday’s mission. you toss and turn a few times, trying to find a comfortable position while also looking for your girlfriend’s body to cling to.

“a little less moving around, carino.” reyna groaned as she turned on her side, shuffling a little closer before you felt her hand on your thigh, pulling your leg on top of her body before wrapping her arms around you. opening your eyes for a bare second to glance at her, a low chuckle coming from your throat as you see her eyebrows furrowed with small wrinkles on her forehead, her nose scrunched up.

“just couldn’t find you…” you sigh, wrapping your hands around the middle of her torso, fingers getting caught up in the creases of the loose tank top she was wearing for sleep. closing your eyes, pushing your head into her chest before fisting her shirt in your palm.

“don’t worry, I’d never leave without telling you.” she brings you a little closer to herself, taking a deep breath and slowly running her hand up and down your side. you nod your head, yawning before positioning yourself like a little kid clinging to their teddy break, expect you had a whole girlfriend to cling to without having to hug the blanket for extra body.

#📗 — written by moss !#valorant x reader #reyna x reader #valorant reyna x reader #valorant sage x reader #sage x reader #jett x reader #valorant jett x reader #ling ying wei x reader #zyanya mondragón x reader #sunwoo han x reader #valorant imgaine #valorant fluff

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prime-adeptus · 4 months ago

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Overtime

In which you bring Sage something new to worry about.

✧ PAIRING: Sage (Wei Ling Ying) x GN!Reader

✦ CONTENT: description of blood and injury, light emotional hurt/comfort, established relationship (kind of??), possibly ooc Sage I wrote this half-asleep :,) ~0,5k words

✧ NOTES: (sighs dreamily) sage....

AO3 | Masterlist | @houseofsolisoccasum @interstellar-inn

Sharp, excruciating pain shot up your shoulder as you hobbled over to the infirmary. Your hand clutched against your skin, trying to stop the bleeding as best as you could. Getting hurt wasn’t exactly out of character for you — everyone knew that, but this time around, it was for less than chivalric or badass reasons.

MaxBot.

Phoenix had talked about how he and the other agents worked together to take down the bot. The smug look on his face and the way he’d nudged you with his elbow were more than enough for you to take the challenge yourself. You knew you were capable and reliable, but you wanted to do more. And what better way to do that than surpassing yourself?

At least, that was supposed to lead up to a satisfying, prideful victory, not with cuts and wounds in your body. You couldn’t help the sheepish grin on your face as your eyes met Sage’s unimpressed stare. She wasn’t surprised to see you in the infirmary anymore. She’d gone from “sit down, I’ll take care of you” to “what happened this time?” in just a few weeks.

Blood dripped down the floor. You trudged to the linen cot and shakily sat down, the pain intensifying at the strenuous movement. Sage was already on it; her hands hovered above your wound and glowed, slowly but surely mending your layers of flesh back together.

“Sorry,” you blurted out. “I know I said I’d be careful, but uh… That bot was stronger than me.”

She pursed her lips. “And did you tell anyone you were using the training range?”

“I told Brim.”

She stared at you in silence. Your bottom lip jutted into a pout as you shrunk away, feeling too exposed in her watchful gaze.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t,” you admitted, cheeks burning from embarrassment at being caught red-handed. “But I was sure I’d make it!”

The pain alleviated, leaving behind a pleasant tingling sensation as your wounds healed and closed up. You grimaced at your blood-stained clothes, already dreading having to clean them some time later.

“I swear you’re doing this on purpose,” Sage huffed, her brows furrowed. “Every day. Every day you come in with a new injury!”

“’cause I like seeing you?” you offered with an awkward smile. “Look, I’m sorry! I know you’ve told me many times to be careful, and I do try, but I’m also insanely unlucky—!”

Sage’s arms gently wrapped around your frame and pulled you close, her chest rising and falling with the deep sigh she took not long after. She cradled your head to her soft stomach, an action that had you melting into her touch as if she was washing away all of your burdens.

“Are you sure you don’t get tired of taking care of me?” you murmured unsurely after a beat of silence, insecurity settling into your nerves. “I mean, I’m here a lot. And… Well, you should be conserving your energy, right?”

She pulled away to look at you. You instinctively followed her, craving to be in her embrace again. Still, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to meet her gaze, so you kept yours trained on your lap, trying to stay as composed as you could.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” she spoke softly. “I like taking care of you.”

The corners of your lips twitched up as you looked up at her, visibly relaxed. “You promise?”

Sage huffed before squeezing your now-healed shoulder affectionately. “I do.”

#all #sage x reader #valorant sage x reader #valorant x reader #wei ling ying x reader #q

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swiftyangx12 · 1 year ago

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[Y/N]: *Injured during a mission gone wrong*

Sage: *Trying to heal them* Oh no, you’re losing blood.

Skye: Quick! What’s your type?

[Y/N]: *Delirious* Hehehe…Blue hair, concentrated gaze, broad shoulders, Tsundere, and a big d-!

Skye: Your blood type!

[One of Jett’s kunai knocked them out.]

[Y/N]: GAH-! *Unconscious*

Jett: *Far away* Sorry!

Skye: Oh shit. Yoru is gonna be upset about this.

#Valorant #Valorant Sage #Valorant Skye #Valorant Yoru #Sage #Skye #Yoru #Ling Ying Wei #Kirra Foster #Ryo Kiritani #Yoru x reader #Valorant Scenarios #Valorant x reader

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divinegrey · 2 years ago

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𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙡𝙮 / 𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙭 𝙜𝙣!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

inspired by sage and her iconic butterfly knife moment in the new cinematic. enjoy you thirsty animals

prompt: while sitting in the common area doing reports, you can't help but take notice to sage's skill with her butterfly knife

words: 1200

warnings: light spice, omega earth sage being dommy mommy, omen being omen

You have an issue.

It’s incredibly difficult to get anything done when Sage is in the room. Ordinarily, you’d have no problem working alongside the healer to get the massive stack of reports done, but when she’s doing that every second, it’s causing little to get done on your end.

One might ask what is she doing?

You glance up from your tablet, hearing the sharp schink! as Sage flips out her butterfly knife, twirling it between her fingers with a practiced ease that is oh so casual. She’s not even looking at it, too engrossed in reading a report you’d just finished a few moments ago. Internally, you cringe; the report is likely bad by her standards because Sage’s knife has been attractively distracting.

You look back down and keep typing, inhaling a breath of the recycled oxygen that comes through the vents of the common room. No such thing as fresh oxygen these days. The supply of Radianite here leaves little room for any advancement, hence the Protocol going out to get more.

If only our copies would stop getting in the way, you think to yourself.

Sccccchink! Sage’s knife brings your eyes back up, her fingers nimbly avoiding the sharp edge as she flips and twists it over her knuckles, doing complicated combos that must’ve taken hours to perfect. Of course, Sage would know how to do the advanced moves— if there’s anyone who could, it would be her.

“Something the matter?” Sage’s voice cuts through the noise of the vents cycling through. Immediately, you shake your head, looking back down at the tablet to fill out the rest of the section you’d been working on, detailing a successful spike mission, but it’s even harder to focus on that when you know Sage is looking at you. Curiosity lines her eyes, and you pretend the flush on your cheeks is because you’re wearing a comfy hoodie.

Temporarily persuaded, Sage goes back to her little knife tricks, leaving a swarm of butterflies in your stomach every time you look up at her. Every so often (maybe too often), Sage catches you looking. You can’t help yourself— Sage’s strength and confidence has always been one of the primary reasons you like her so much, as a person and as a leader.

And as something more, dipshit.

Being alone with her in the common room isn’t exactly helping your wandering mind, either. If only Jett were here; she would be ruthlessly teasing the shit out of you right about now.

Sage stands up abruptly, twirling her knife still in her hand as she walks over to you. The butterflies in your tummy intensify by tenfold.

“Curious?” Sage asks, flipping the knife in her hand before throwing it into the air. It spins in circles before landing in her palm, closed and shut. You nod once, hoping your enthusiasm doesn’t show too much in front of her. Sage drops down onto the couch beside you, making you sit up a little straighter. Yet, she’s all too casual with the way she leans back and starts showing off again.

She’s indulging, you realize. Sage hardly ever shows off.

“It’s really cool,” you say, holding your tablet to your chest. “I would cut my hand off if I tried doing that.”

“It takes practice,” Sage replies, before looking at you with a slight smirk. “Plus some dexterity. It’s hard to do tricks if your fingers can’t keep with the pace.”

You’re not sure if she was actually insinuating something more with that, but your face burns up anyway. Sage laughs, flipping her knife into the open position before turning her body towards yours. The tip of her knife comes to rest on your chin, tilting it up to meet her eyes.

“I could teach you,” Sage murmurs, “If you’re willing to learn. You need patience, practice… flexibility.”

You swallow, forcing out a small laugh that feels incredibly awkward. “I don’t feel like we’re talking about the knife anymore.”

Sage flips the knife closed after withdrawing it, the sound a loud click that feels akin to making a final decision. The healer tilts her head to the side. “Are we?”

You notice her eyes dip down to your lips, and you take your chances.

Sage meets you halfway for a kiss, the thought of reports and papers all but abandoned as you meld yourself with her. At some point, you make the ballsy decision to straddle her on the couch, caging her in with your arms. Kissing her is unlike anything you’ve ever felt, ever experienced— it’s something that opens your eyes, a faint coldness to her lips reminding you of the way her healing orbs feel like the cool ocean water over your skin.

She seems pleased by this result, and honestly? So are you.

Though it might seem that you have the upper hand and upper position, Sage makes it clear she’s controlling the pace, her hands on your chin to stop you from getting too greedy with it. She forces it slower, until all you truly feel are the worn callouses from years spent shooting a rifle and the heartbeat that thunders in your chest and in hers.

The switch is flipped; Sage pushes you back onto the flat length of the couch, holding your hands above your head with only one of hers. It leaves you struggling to breath as your eyes meet. Something burns in her irises.

“I see you watching,” Sage whispers, flipping her knife open. She drags the flat of the blade along your shirt, not nearly enough pressure for it to be threatening, but the motion of it leaves your core aching. “I see you staring when I’m training. Is there something you want? Say it.”

You thought you hadn’t been so obvious— maybe you were, if Jett noticed. Maybe you were being obvious by standing near the windows that peer into the training room whenever Sage was in there working out her anger and her stress, marveling over her form and her fighting and her body and her—

Stop it.

Sage’s warm breath tickles your cheek. “Say it.”

You swallow your pride for the easiest sentence you’ve ever said.

“I want you.”

The corner of Sage’s mouth turns up. She kisses you, softer than the rest, and this one feels only a thousand times more intense with the weight of her body on yours. You wish you could reach for her, wish you could touch her and kiss her all over—

The door to the common room opens. Before Sage can pull away, both of you turn to see Omen standing there, holding his beloved bonsai tree in both hands as if cupping a bowl. He looks at you, then Sage, the slits of his eyes pulsing. Omen looks down at his bonsai.

“Not a word, Omen, and I’ll buy you the bonsai scissors you want,” Sage says, sitting up and pulling you along with her. You’re a mess right now, and it’s only a little embarrassing that Omen is seeing you like this.

Pleased by the development, Omen places his bonsai down at the table and takes a seat. Sage winks at you, stepping off the couch and taking her tablet to join him.

You’re left on the couch staring at the ceiling with the thought of what the fuck just happened?

~~~~~ A/N: ehehe top sage brain go brrrrr

#sage x reader #valorant sage x reader #sage #sage valorant #sage imagines #valorant x reader #valorant imagines #ling ying wei #valorant

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blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms · 2 years ago

Text

Housework- Ling Ying Wei

Pairing: Ling Ying Wei x Reader

Characters: Ling Ying Wei

Warnings: N/A

Request: N/A

Word Count: 437

Author: Aaron

“What do you think you’re doing?” You felt Sage’s piercing gaze drill into the back of your head. “Did you really think you could get sneak behind my back? How stupid do you think I am?” You heard Sage march towards you with great intent. “You know that you are supposed to be resting your back injury!” She reached around and snatched the hoover from your hand.

“I just wanted to do some housework to take some of the stress away from you…” Almost angrily Sage ushered you away and to the sofa where a soft blanket and plump pillows had already been laid out with an open can of refreshing cola. “I took a little hit to the back, it isn’t the end of the world and I’m sure that I am fully capable of doing basic household tasks?”

“You didn’t take a little hit y/n, you were thrown out of a moving car during a high-speed chase, and secondly, who knows best about the health and wellbeing of their fiancée and fellow Valorant member? Oh yes, that is right… me! If you overwork your back, you can do some serious damage that can put you out of operation for months on months. I know that you don’t want that and trust me, I don’t want you moping around the house for that long either. So please do us both a favour and for once in your life listen to me. Now sit down, be quiet and put a movie on or something.” She escorted you over to your newfound throne and gazed down as you lowered yourself into a seating position.

“Sage, you know I appreciate you looking after me but there’s no way I can sit around here for god knows how long not doing anything, ill go crazy. There’s got to be some stuff I can do. I’m not in pain, my range of motion seems alright, I promise not to go over the top but you need to let me get back to normal life somewhat.”

“It wasn’t like you just pulled a few muscles y/n, you were really close to having steel plates put in, you were lucky I was there with you, or you could be paralyzed or even dead by now. So, suck it up and deal with it. I don’t want you out of action for any longer than you need to be because it’s been a few weeks and it feels like you’ve been stuck here for an eternity. If I catch you trying to do something like that again I will freeze you to the sofa.”

#Housework #Ling Ying Wei #Ling Ying Wei Imagine #Ling Ying Wei One Shot #Sage #Sage One Shot #Sage Imagine #Valorant #Valorant Imagine #Valorant One Shot #Aaron

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caramel1mochi · 7 months ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [6]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression, implied suicide ‎ ‎

Words: 5.8k ‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.

Heya! So I planned on doing this after I finished this story, turns out the scenes were too long and I need split it in two. Anyway, while I was tidying this, I couldn't decide on who the protagonist for my next x reader should be. So I'm making a poll! I'll be posting it within the next few days. I'm REALLY leaning towards Clove, but I thought it would be better if you guys chose instead. Thanks and have a good read!

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Ying immediately rushed to her car when you shut the call and sped towards Yu’s house with only a coat to keep her warm.

Her neighbourhood’s location didn’t allow the haze to obscure too much of the residents’ vision. It was a good amount, but not debilitatingly blinding like your area unfortunately was.

And to her relief, the storm had abated by the time she had finally arrived at Yu’s house. For a moment, she was led to believe that you weren’t there yet, but all of that hope quickly dissipated once she saw faint footsteps imprinted on the thick snow just in front of her. Even with the storm that was still ongoing at the time, the rapid snowflakes weren’t falling fast enough to fully cover them.

This let her know you arrived way before her, all in the middle of a blizzard.

Ying slowly stepped out of her car and hugged herself in an effort to keep herself safe from the cold. It wasn’t much, and she wasn’t exactly built to stay warm with just her hands, but it was the best she could do at the moment.

She took out her spare keys and scrambled to open the front door, all while struggling to ignore the stinging cold temperature of the handle she so desperately pulled on. With one final click, the door swung open, and she was swiftly allowed an entrance to a house as lifeless and miserable as the atmosphere that engulfed her. With a deep breath, she rushed right through, swallowing all her fears with her.

‎ ‎

Everything was dark; the air was heavy… It all felt so constricted and suffocating. The windows were shut, and the lingering smog and rapid snowfall effortlessly blocked any sun rays from entering. But despite all of this, the house still felt unbearably cold from the inside. That, and there was still a considerable amount of misplaced light coming from... Her eyes promptly fell on the source, and it didn’t take long for her to come to her own conclusion.

The doors to the backyard were ajar, and this freely let in the cold and the snow without concern for the consequences. It was easy to tell that you pulled them open and rushed outside as fast as you could.

A sigh escaped her, and she moved through the vast yet smothering living room.

‎ ‎

“Y/N?”

‎ ‎

She called out, the echo of her voice only forcing her to outline the shakiness of it, how concerned she was. Even her muffled steps weren’t spared from the mocking reverberation around her as she slowly marched towards the double doors. And with each step, the higher the possibility was that you had died. Hypothermia at the absolute best. But at worst? Even if it logically made sense, she wanted to do anything but consider it.

It didn't take long for her to finally arrive in front of the two doors, her bare fingers slowly wrapping around the handle.

‎ ‎

“Y/N, are you out here?”

‎ ‎

Ying asked sheepishly as she pulled it wide open. But immediately, she fell into silence at the sight.

In front of her were the very trees that were so lively and vivid just a few weeks ago. Their hypnotisingly green leaves, and especially the white flowers she found so pretty. All of it was missing; it was violently ripped off with little regard. Now, the only thing all of the dead branches were capable of lifting was the very snow that killed it, all signs of life having scattered within mere hours.

There were no flowers. There were no leaves. All that remained was the filthy aroma of death and a few lemons that swung hopelessly in the wind, all dangling under the mercy of the second incoming blizzard. Only one more push from the merciless winds was all it took for them to disappear as well.

Ying's eyes then fell on your figure. You were on your knees, not too far away from the decaying trees you were facing, hands on your lap, shoulders slumped, silent, and... unmoving. Still like a statue. It's not that she wasn't beyond grateful that you were alive; she absolutely was, but this... this stasis, so to speak, immediately flooded her with concern.

At least when Yu was in a state somewhat similar to yours, Ying could tell that he was alive. You looked no different from a dead body.

‎ ‎

“Are… Are you okay…?”

‎ ‎

Ying slowly moved down the steps concealed by snow, her feet digging through inches upon inches of it before finally reaching solid ground. You had already processed her presence by the time she got close.

But even as she placed one hand on your shoulder, you didn't react. You couldn’t. Once she leaned closer for a better look, only now could Ying just barely dig out the empty expression on your face through the small openings in your pitch-black hair. The pure, unalloyed sense of detachment etched on your features, and that dreadful empty glare. Even though it was quite a laughable expectation considering who you were, she had assumed there would be tears, or… for you to scream, something like that. Somehow, this was much, much worse.

She stopped and knelt right beside you, unsure how to ease your sorrows after such a loss. Not when you were so silent and gave her absolutely nothing to work with.

‎ ‎

"Y/N, I'm– I’m so sorry..."

‎ ‎

Ying earned naught of a response from you.

You didn’t bother to note just how stiff and numb the tips of your fingers felt. It could be bloody frostbite for all you care, but that did little to shift your concerns. It was nothing in the face of what had just happened. It was hard to convince yourself not to chop down all of the trees again and call it quits. Drop gardening and rot in bed all day. Just like last time.

It took you years to build up the courage to plant again, let alone enter your dead boyfriend's house and spend more than two minutes there. Just a few years ago, the thought of your parents' and Yu's favourite fruits would nauseate you.

You thought you had come so far, only for this to happen. And in your mind, there was one concept that had now become clear. Everything you ever work for, everything that could ever make you happy, winter will be there to wash it all away in the blink of an eye… for no reason. So really, why bother? You mused to yourself, ignorant to the snow that surrounded your now-numb legs. Why bother plucking the last few lemons that dangled from the branches? They'd rot anyway. Or something would be wrong with them. Infested with some fungal disease you missed, probably. They'd wither away like everything else.

Your parents, Yu, and now this.

You felt all of the misery that used to swim in your mind return. And in this situation, it was the only thing that felt familiar. The familiarity of the heaviness in your body that would prevent you from moving, and the familiarity of vehemently refusing to see a tomorrow if Yu wasn't within your vicinity. The familiarity of depending on others for a better state of mind.

…

Ugh.

Ying flinched once you stood up all of a sudden and moved forward. She immediately followed your lead, placing one hand on your shoulder to stop you.

‎ ‎

"What are you doing?"

‎ ‎

"I'm taking those lemons."

‎ ‎

"What? No, it's too dangerous. Let's just head back inside, I–"

‎ ‎

"Go inside– are you kidding? So I can mope when the blizzard inevitably takes it all away? I'm not going to do that anymore."

‎ ‎

“Y/N, it’s too dangerous!”

‎ ‎

You ignored her.

But just as you took a step away, you felt a firm hold on your wrist that forced you to cut your path short. You angrily met Ying's gaze in response, but she was quick to speak before you could.

‎ ‎

"Listen to me! We can wait for the blizzard to pass, plant another tree, and start all over again. Anything. Please just listen to me, Y/N. This is suicide!"

‎ ‎

"I've had enough of this! I'm not going to be passive anymore! Don't you dare drag me down!"

‎ ‎

She furrowed her brow.

‎ ‎

“These trees can die, Y/N, we can always plant another; but what if something happens to you?!”

‎ ‎

“Let go of me! You’re wasting your breath.”

‎ ‎

You attempted to pull away, but Ying kept you firmly in her hold. So much so, you were sure she could cut off your circulation with a bit more pressure. Since when was she this strong?

‎ ‎

"I understand that winter took everything from you and put you in depression. But, please, don't let it take you away as well!"

‎ ‎

"Winter didn't put me in anything, Ying. I let winter do this to me." You clenched your fist. "And I'm fed up with it! I don't want to be happy because Yu is with me, or because the trees are still standing, or– or because of something else, I want to be happy because I want what’s best for me!"

‎ ‎

You narrowed your eyes.

‎ ‎

"I finally care about the woman I see in the mirror, Ying. And winter can take that when I'm six feet under!"

‎ ‎

With her mind overwhelmed, you managed to escape her grasp in the midst of your words. And immediately, you took your chance and moved towards the trees. Ying, in panic, called out for you,

‎ ‎

"Wait, wait I–" she quickly followed, "let me help you, okay? Let me help you."

‎ ‎

Her hand was placed on your shoulder instead. And immediately, this forced you to stop as you looked at her once more.

‎ ‎

"Your determination is admirable, Y/N. And... if you're so adamant about this, then I'd like to support you in the process."

‎ ‎

You stared at her for a few prolonged seconds, attempting to deduce whether or not she was serious. And she was. Ying, the woman who undeniably had more of an incentive to stay alive, desired to help you under the threat of another blizzard.

Once this realisation dawned on you, a weak smile played on your lips.

‎ ‎

"Thank you, Ying."

‎ ‎

She met you with a smile a lot wider and more natural than yours. Then, with a subtle gesture, both of you moved towards the trees and aimed to pluck the last few remaining lemons and make sure you used them to their absolute fullest potential.

‎ ‎

Six trees were planted, and you only managed to harvest about thirteen Meyer lemons. Which was embarrassing, since you would've usually come back with no less than six baskets stuffed with the golden fruit if it weren't for the blizzard. The urge to call it a pitiful harvest and toss it all perked up, but doing that would be giving in and crawling back to the prison of misery you tried too hard to escape from. You were so close. You couldn’t give up now.

The doors were slammed shut behind the two of you, and you quickly set down the mostly-empty basket. But before you could recount them, the gloves you wore were forcefully snatched away from you, and Ying immediately took your hands in hers.

‎ ‎

"Look at how blue your fingers are! Any longer, and you could have these amputated."

‎ ‎

Her soft fingers intertwined with yours. And somehow, the longer she kept this embrace still, the weaker the blue tint would be. Warmth shortly began enveloping your hands.

‎ ‎

"Ying, is there any reason for this?"

‎ ‎

"For what?"

‎ ‎

You used your eyes to point at what she was doing. And as per usual, it took her a moment to realise what you meant, a titter escaping her once she finally caught on.

‎ ‎

"Oh, the– uhh, the warmth from my hands, it– it helps, that is all."

‎ ‎

You stared at her with a raised eyebrow, accompanied by an unamused expression. That's one magically warm hand, you mulled whilst the blood returned to your fingers. But you were too exhausted to actually make that comment. And instead, you opted to wait for her until she was done holding you.

It only took a few extra seconds until Ying allowed you to finally pull your hands away. And once you did, you squeezed your index finger, taking in the sensation of being able to feel your limbs again. Thankfully, the heaviness was gone... both physically and mentally.

‎ ‎

"Thank you, Ying. This should make things easier–"

‎ ‎

The words were lodged in your throat once Ying suddenly forced you into a tight hug.

A sigh escaped her, almost as if the two of you had just escaped a life-threatening situation. Maybe to her, sure, but it didn’t really matter to you.

‎ ‎

"I'm so proud of you, Y/N. You've come so far." She pulled away. "I– I don't condone you risking your life, and please, never, ever do this again, but I commend you on your bravery."

‎ ‎

"Thank you...?"

‎ ‎

"Oh! I almost forgot, are you free this March?"

‎ ‎

You were confused about how to feel about her compliments, but this question, combined with the whiplash, was all it took for you to completely forget about what she said. Besides, how many times has she asked this now?

But, to be fair, she never really received a direct answer from you. From what you remembered, anyway.

‎ ‎

"Yes, I am. What is it with you and March?"

‎ ‎

"That's because we're visiting Yu's grandmother in the spring!"

‎ ‎

"Spring? But the lemons–"

‎ ‎

"We'll bake them into lemon bars! Something with a texture so soft, it’ll be exactly like biting into a sweet cloud! What do you think?"

‎ ‎

She inadvertently held and squeezed both of your hands to emphasise her words. And by God, you couldn't help but smile at her excitement. Even you couldn’t deny how cute it was to see her like this.

You escaped her grasp and held her wrist instead, moving down the dark corridor so you could lead her to the kitchen.

‎ ‎

"I'm sure she'll love it, Ying."

‎ ‎

With a beaming smile, your boss quickly snatched the basket on the way and continued following you. You could tell by the grin on her face that she was daydreaming about the day you'd both finally take the train to Yu's grandma again, to visit her after so long. And, admittedly, you couldn't help but do the same.

March is definitely going to be a fun month when it finally comes around. Besides, Yu’s grandmother always preferred softer foods, didn’t she? If, again, your memory served you correctly.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Winter, two years ago.

‎ ‎

Why don't you just break up with him?

Seriously, what was the point of any of this? The stress of dating a man who shamelessly kept so many secrets from you? Honesty is supposed to be one of the pillars of a relationship, isn't it? And yet, it was nowhere to be seen in this one.

That's what ran through your mind for an entire day.

You've been dating Yu for a while now, and it felt like your relationship had been progressing at an adequate rate. He showed you many details about his life, including his house… but he refused to even disclose who the woman in the picture was. And this time, as opposed to how patient you've been for the past few years you've been dating him, you saw red.

Why didn’t he tell you about her? What did he have to hide? Was there something you just weren’t meant to know?

But... you stayed quiet. You acted like nothing was wrong for the rest of the day. The anger instead built up until it spilt at work the next day, and your co-workers had the pleasure of hearing about the turmoil in your seemingly peaceful relationship for the first time. So they planted a few ideas in your head.

And you believed them. In fact, no, you didn't just believe them, you also began adding on to them once your shift was over.

He didn't tell you who the woman in the picture was; he didn't tell you who his parents were; how he managed to buy a whole house at the age of fifteen (oh, but apparently his grandmother 'helped him'); and he didn't even tell you why he had to be so tight-lipped or why his bloody eyes were purple.

What reason did you have to believe that Yu loved you in the first place? That he wasn't some sort of– actually, no, what if he also had other women on the side? You knew that someone with a figure like that would be able to make any girl swoon over him if only he ditched those massive hoodies.

But it worked. It fooled you, of all people.

These thoughts, unchecked, started growing in your mind until they formed practically a whirlwind, one that only grew at the sight of Yu, who was ready to escort you back home for the day. You were a ticking time bomb at this point, ready to explode at him should he make the mistake of saying one wrong word.

You were still grieving your parents. You had many more things to be worried about than some two-faced snake. So why–

‎ ‎

"Y/N?"

‎ ‎

"What?"

‎ ‎

He was caught off-guard by your aggressive tone.

‎ ‎

"Are you... okay?"

‎ ‎

He couldn't help but notice just how quiet you were during your whole journey back home.

Your gloominess wasn't anything new by any means. But this misplaced wrath definitely was. He could tell that, just by the way you carried yourself, the heaviness in your steps, your furrowed brows, and your clenched fists, something was wrong. Very wrong.

You averted your gaze to the mounds of snow obscuring the road instead.

‎ ‎

"Yes."

‎ ‎

The atmosphere was unbearably still. But, nevertheless, the two of you moved through it for a few more elongated seconds. And, to Yu, it felt like walking through an ocean of honey. Sans the sweetness of the liquid, much to his misfortune.

The only thing that broke the tension was the chirping of a few nearby crickets, the clicks of both of your boots, and the loud thoughts that gnawed at your mind.

His soft voice felt like such a farce. A mask he put on. It explained a lot, too, especially why his expression was usually blank, and his eyes were the only emotive parts of his face. Sure, it somewhat mirrored yours, but at least you were open about how much you loathed living.

He placed one hand on your shoulder, only further angering you.

‎ ‎

"Hey, why can't you tell me what's bothering you?"

‎ ‎

"What then?"

‎ ‎

...

‎ ‎

"What do you mean?"

‎ ‎

"What would you do if I told you?"

‎ ‎

"I'll... uh, I'll do my best to fix it. Whatever it is."

‎ ‎

You sighed and instead stuffed your hands inside your deep pockets. Your fingers brushed up against the earbuds he lent you the night before, the same ones you had completely forgotten about until now.

‎ ‎

"We'll talk at home."

‎ ‎

His heart skipped a few beats at this statement, but you didn’t pay him any mind.

‎ ‎

“I need water. I’m stopping by a store.”

‎ ‎

You said. And Yu was quick to pick up on how you phrased that sentence. Nevertheless, he averted his gaze, pulling up the collar so it could conceal the lower portion of his face.

‎ ‎

“Okay.”

‎ ‎

That was all he said before the two of you fell back into silence.

This neighbourhood was incredibly shady. The buildings themselves were coming apart, and the sidewalk was so disjointed that you were sure an earthquake must’ve occurred that they couldn’t be bothered to fix. Not only that, but the two of you were alone. But at least Yu had a large enough silhouette to scare off anyone.

Whatever. Getting out of here was the one thing you needed to do right after getting your drink.

‎ ‎

You entered the one store that was open– well, you were lucky you even found a store to begin with. But just as you thought you could feel safe, the bulletproof glass with the bullet lodged in it worried you.

Only two people were here. A young cashier and a customer wearing all black, muttering stuff to him. He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, looked you up and down, then went back to his conversation. Weird, you mused, but you quickly brushed it off and instead marched towards the aisles.

‎ ‎

“I’ll wait for you here.”

‎ ‎

You responded to your boyfriend with a hum before disappearing into the crisps section. Not that it concerned you too much. Besides, the cashier was there.

You suddenly remembered the argument from yesterday as you continued searching. The thought of breaking up with him was just so seductive at this point. Really, what was the difference between him and the men who’d say anything to please you?

You stopped by where the juices were stocked. Only a foot away, and you’d find exactly what you needed. But you instead took out the earbuds in your pockets. Your fingers tightly wrapped around the case, your thumb successfully concealing the logo. Breaking up with him would ruin a ton of things for you. But it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Okay. That was it. You’d do it.

‘We’re done.’, that’s what you’d tell him when you see him outside the store. You’d give him the earbuds, break it off, and go back home. Nothing personal, but you weren’t a doormat who was going to take this treatment.

A sigh escaped you.

Then, you pocketed the earbuds, grabbed a water bottle, and moved towards the cashier.

‎ ‎

You emerged from the stocked aisles with your boyfriend’s name at the tip of your tongue. However, you weren’t met with him loitering around the automatic sliding doors like you expected. In fact, the entire area was empty, both inside and outside.

He was… gone.

‎ ‎

“Yu?”

‎ ‎

You audibly called out, but you earned nothing more than your echo in response. Where the heck was he? There’s no way he’d leave you alone in an incredibly dangerous neighbourhood like this.

You quickly moved towards an area that would give you a clear view of each and every aisle. And as you slowly walked across the store to observe every single one, you still couldn’t find him. Actually, you couldn’t find anyone aside from the cashier, who gave you a weird look whilst you paced around.

Maybe he was in the bathroom? No… this store was way too small to have a bathroom. But what if he was outside?

Yes, you’d check there, and call him if you couldn’t find him.

With this plan in mind, you stepped through the doors with your bag tightly clutched in your hand, and stepped towards the sidewalk, careful not to stray too far away from the entrance. You turned your head left and right, but all you were met with were the rows of streetlights that prevented the pitch-black darkness from swallowing you. And… your heart dropped to your chest.

Where was he?! He couldn’t have left. He just couldn’t.

With no time to waste, you took out your phone and rapidly began texting him, moving back through the doors and entering the store once more. It was a struggle to type out any comprehensible words, what with how shaky your hands were.

You texted and texted. But a response was naught. Your eyes widened, and you clutched your phone with unfathomable tightness.

There’s no way Yu would leave you out here alone, right? Even with the animosity between you, this could mean life or death. You could be hurt out here, what on Earth was wrong with him?

It’s okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. Maybe he just left for something. Maybe he just took a quick stroll since you took a while to pay? Maybe he’ll be back. He’ll be back. Or maybe your coworkers were right. Maybe he realised you were flirting with the idea of a breakup and decided that this was his act of revenge.

You heaved a sigh.

This was it, huh? Just like that? You should’ve expected him to take the coward’s way out.

Just as you slid your phone back in your pocket and went further inside the store, however, you huffed once you bumped into someone. All relief immediately dissipated the moment you looked up.

It was that scruffy-looking man from earlier, the one who was talking to the cashier. He stood in front of you. Uncomfortably close, and seemingly eager to block you from further entering the store past the sliding doors. You couldn’t help but notice how everything on his body was jet black.

‎ ‎

“Hey.”

‎ ‎

Terror immediately coursed through you as you took a step back. Your phone was promptly shoved back in your bag and swiftly zipped up, however.

Why was he still here? You thought he’d left by the time you went to check-out on account of his sudden disappearance. Apparently not…

‎ ‎

“It’s rude not to say it back to me.”

‎ ‎

“…Hey.”

‎ ‎

His ‘greeting’ was anything but friendly.

And if that wasn’t enough for him, it was impossible not to notice that he also had one hand deep inside the pockets of his hoodie. Crap.

‎ ‎

“I… need to go.”

‎ ‎

You immediately stepped to the side, but he swiftly moved in front of you.

‎ ‎

“You don’t wanna talk to me?”

‎ ‎

“I’m– I’m in a hurry, I need to…”

‎ ‎

“Don’t be like that. All I need is somethin’ quick.”

‎ ‎

You just couldn’t get to the cashier, not when he kept stopping in front of you and blocking your path. What was worse was that his hand kept digging deeper and deeper into his pocket. And for the love of everything holy, you couldn’t find your voice to tell him off. Then, he lifted his chin to look down on you.

‎ ‎

“Your headphones look sick. Let me see them.”

‎ ‎

“Headphones…?”

‎ ‎

Your heart jumped out of your chest once you saw a gun emerge from his pockets, and he took a few steps closer to you, forcing you to back up again. You were unintentionally pushed out of the store and into the empty streets.

‎ ‎

“Don’t play dumb with me, woman! It’s in your pocket!”

‎ ‎

He shouted as he kept rushing towards you.

But your back suddenly pressed up against a large pole, and escape seemed hopeless in a place like this. There was nobody around. Not even cars that sped down the road. And even if you tried to run or scream, you were sure he’d gun you down before you’d get anywhere.

So you immediately lifted your hands in surrender.

‎ ‎

“Okay! I– I’ll give it to you!”

‎ ‎

“Good!”

‎ ‎

He pointed his weapon at you as you struggled to dig your hands into your pockets. But even here, you could tell he scrutinised you as if you were a mannequin dressed in apparel he really wanted to purchase. He snatched the earbuds once you held them out for him, but he used his chin to point at what you didn’t realise was your neck.

‎ ‎

“Hand me that sweet scarf while you’re at it.”

‎ ‎

He promptly pocketed the device.

This demand only further engulfed you in panic. But that’s not where it ended, he very clearly continued observing you for anything else he wanted. You were okay with handing him your belongings; it wasn’t worth losing your life because you were too stubborn to do so. But those earbuds were Yu’s. Not yours. Nevertheless, without second thought, you clutched the scarf on your neck with both hands and fumbled to rip it off.

An arm shot out from behind the robber and promptly wrapped itself around his neck. The grip was then firmly tightened to an impossible degree. His gun dropped with an audible clank as the robber desperately clawed at the figure’s considerably large arms in a vain attempt to free himself. It only took a few seconds for his movements to stop.

Then, he was dropped to the ground, revealing a very familiar figure behind him.

You didn’t get a good look at his unmoving body or said figure, however, not when you were forcefully pulled close and tightly held in the man’s arms. The scent of lemons swiftly invaded your mind. Somehow, it successfully pulled you out of your state of panic, and you leaned into his comforting touch.

‎ ‎

“Did he hurt you? Are you okay?”

‎ ‎

Yu’s voice was such a soft juxtaposition to the harsh silence he cut through. It was as if all the fury you felt towards him melted, all within a picosecond.

‎ ‎

“I’m… I’m fine…“

‎ ‎

He placed one hand on the back of your head and brought you closer to himself.

‎ ‎

“I– I should’ve known they would’ve pulled something like that.”

‎ ‎

“Was he…”

‎ ‎

“I left to throw something; the cashier wasted my time. Stopped me from going back.”

‎ ‎

The petrifying shock seemed to have seeped through the both of you, judging by how quiet and flat his voice sounded. But you were more shocked at what he’d done to the man. You couldn’t even peer through his thick hoodie, which obscured your vision, since he held you so tightly against it.

‎ ‎

“Is he– Yu, did you kill him?!”

‎ ‎

“He’s fine.”

‎ ‎

Yu held your wrist.

‎ ‎

“Come on. Let’s go.”

‎ ‎

He walked you a few steps, far enough for you to be unable to look back. Not only that, but he used his size to his advantage to block you from seeing the criminal’s unmoving body as he moved further down the sidewalk.

Then he placed both hands on your shoulders, now able to meet your gaze more clearly. He couldn’t help but notice just how blanched your face was.

‎ ‎

“Did he take anything?”

‎ ‎

“Only your headphones…”

‎ ‎

You muttered, and he nodded in response.

‎ ‎

“Stay here. I’ll be fast.”

‎ ‎

He pushed you out of sight for good measure, before moving back down the path you both marched on. And you immediately hid your face in your hands.

Your voice was beyond shaky, and you could hardly understand what on Earth had just happened as sweat dripped down your chin. You weren’t sure where Yu came from. Was it from inside the store? If so, how could you not have noticed the doors slamming shut? But… Your brain hyper-focused the robber. Especially how he writhed like a bug as Yu mercilessly choked him.

Being so caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t even realised your boyfriend had returned with the earbuds until he placed one hand on your shoulder.

You hesitantly looked up. But this time, Yu could see something awry in your expression. Concern. Directed at him.

‎ ‎

“Did you… kill him?”

‎ ‎

“I only knocked him out.”

‎ ‎

“But how? How did you know how to…”

‎ ‎

“I… I didn’t. I acted on instinct.”

‎ ‎

“Are you kidding? You knew what you were doing back there! Are you trained in self-defence?!”

‎ ‎

Yu... wasn't sure how to respond to this.

‎ ‎

“It’s just the adrenaline, I–”

‎ ‎

“I can’t believe it. You could’ve run away; you could’ve saved yourself. Yet you…”

‎ ‎

“Run away? What– why would I leave you?”

‎ ‎

“I don’t know, it… I assumed you’d pull something like that…”

‎ ‎

“Why would you think that about me?!”

‎ ‎

You paused for a second.

‎ ‎

“I– I don’t know.”

‎ ‎

“Y/N, please, tell me, did I hurt you? Did I make you upset? I– why would you think that I’d leave you in a place like this?!” Yu shook his head. “Something’s been bothering you since yesterday, right? Please, just tell me what it is; I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, I'll do everything I can to make it right, I–”

‎ ‎

As he spoke, you zoned out and instead observed him. The worry etched on his typically vacant features and that glimmer in his eyes that screamed shock as he tried to grapple with the very concept of upsetting you. He was terrified at the prospect of losing you. Very obviously terrified.

Your thought process was interrupted when he cupped your cheeks in his hands. He held onto you as if you could disappear any second, like some kind of fleeting spirit.

‎ ‎

“I could’ve lost you, Y/N. Something could’ve happened to you…”

‎ ‎

You blankly stared at him for what felt like a few minutes. His words went in one ear and out the other, and all you could focus on was what Yu did to the robber. He choked him. Knocked him out in seconds. This man, the very man who seemed troubled at the sight of the mauled corpse of a pigeon a few years back. You remembered that moment too. You were walking home, and he… saw it. On the side of the road.

…

You didn’t bother fighting the smile that played on your lips. Then, this smile morphed into a grin, and the grin morphed into misplaced giggling. You began laughing. Loudly.

Yu blinked.

‎ ‎

“I thought you left,” you said in between gasps of air, “I thought you deserted me. I thought you wouldn’t come back! Can you believe it?”

‎ ‎

He watched you wipe away a tear as you continued,

‎ ‎

“But you knocked him out. He had a gun, Yu. Did you know that? He could’ve killed you. You could’ve died because of me!”

‎ ‎

“Why–”

‎ ‎

Yu flinched once you clutched his wrists and forced them away from yourself.

‎ ‎

“Because of those secrets. I thought you had other women on the side. And you know what? I knew you were gone the moment he pulled that gun on me.”

‎ ‎

His eyes widened.

‎ ‎

“I was wrong. I was so wrong. You care about me, don’t you?”

‎ ‎

“Of course I care… What kind of question is that?”

‎ ‎

That answer was just as instinctual as his actions back in that alley. And it wasn’t hard to tell that he spoke without thought, his dull tone screamed his intentions behind those words. And you were delighted to hear this.

Yu flinched when you pulled him into a hug, your head buried in his chest.

‎ ‎

“Then I’d be the stupidest woman on Earth if I left.”

‎ ‎

For a few seconds, he stared unresponsively at the brick wall in front of him.

‎ ‎

“Oh– I…”

‎ ‎

He looked down.

Although he needed a few seconds to realise it, Yu finally rested his hands on your back and gently returned the hug. It would take him longer than a few minutes to comprehend most of what you just said. Heck, it took a moment for Yu to even realise you had forgiven him, let alone the fact you pulled him into an embrace. And it felt… like the knot in his stomach had disappeared.

Once he had finally stopped mulling over your random laughter, Yu couldn’t stop himself from smiling like an idiot, a tinge of red painting his previously pale cheeks.

‎ ‎

“Thank you.”

‎ ‎

He muttered.

Yu cared. He truly cared about you, you thought to yourself. Maybe those secrets were kept for a reason. Maybe… Maybe his hands really were tied. But you could wait until he was ready to share them with you, right?

Yeah, you definitely could.

84 notes · View notes

caramel1mochi · 9 months ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [5]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎

Words: 4k ‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. SIDENOTE did anyone see how Clove speaks? Who would've thought vehemently studying Irish slang 8 months ago would come back to help me like this??? Writing them is gonna be such a breeze fr hint wink wink nudge nudge nudge

‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day

‎ ‎

You wanted to call yourself stupid for not catching on. How wasn’t it obvious?

There was a gun in his bedroom and a medallion with a symbol that you've never seen before, even after relentlessly googling around. Purple eyes, mysterious disappearances, owning a house with undisclosed memories that he was just willing to abandon for your apartment, and… other than his grandma? Yeah, no family.

You sighed and pushed open the wooden doors to the café, allowing the bell above to announce your arrival on this boring and slow Monday. Yesterday was spent entirely at Yu’s house. Not only to tend to the trees you planted a winter ago, but to also keep searching for that gun. And, alas, there was nothing. Maybe he took it before he disappeared. Maybe he…

Ugh.

‎ ‎

You stepped behind the counter and pocketed your headphones. Only now did you hear Ying’s muffled voice way behind you inside her room, drowned out by the music. You were sure that she was speaking to someone on the phone, considering your co-worker called out at the last minute. Who, however, would remain a mystery. Not that you cared.

Then, the door swung open, and you heard the clicks of her shoes as she walked down the corridor, phone in hand.

‎ ‎

“I made sure to check it before I left.” She explained. “Around March, last I heard. That’s the only day– Y/N!”

‎ ‎

Ying’s previously quiet voice shot up a few decibels upon noticing you. But before you even realised it, your mind had prepared itself for the sudden incoming hug it really didn’t want.

‎ ‎

“Oh my God, I was so worried!”

‎ ‎

Her arms found their place tightly wrapped around you, completely ignoring the seemingly important call, as she had tossed her phone on the counter behind her in favour of this embrace. You placed one hand on her back in a weak attempt to reciprocate it. However, all you could notice was how cold her silky black ponytail was as it fell on her back. ‎ ‎

“I missed one day, Ying.”

‎ ‎

“I thought something happened to you!” She pulled away, her hands still on your shoulders. “You should’ve told me– where were you?”

‎ ‎

“At Yu’s.”

‎ ‎

Her posture immediately relaxed with that answer, and a wide grin painted her features.

‎ ‎

“Ah, is that so? And how are the lemons? I trust they’re in excellent condition.”

‎ ‎

You would’ve groaned at how she referred to a bunch of seeds underground as if they were babies being taken care of. But after that tangent, maybe that comparison was… Well, apt wasn’t the word, but, you know. Something like that.

‎ ‎

“Still acclimating. They require less maintenance in the winter, but…”

‎ ‎

Your words were lodged in your throat, and you were rendered unable to tell her exactly what you were thinking. But Ying somehow didn’t notice. Instead, she began taking a few steps back to close the call she’d abandoned, another idea popping up in her mind.

‎ ‎

“How large was his backyard again? Why don’t you plant more seeds there? Something that can withstand this weather?”

‎ ‎

“When’s the last time you’ve been to his house, Ying?”

‎ ‎

She placed one hand on her hip.

‎ ‎

“I visited Iso’s house a few times before, Y/N. I even recall mentioning the absurd size of his backyard. Ah, I think I used the word ridiculous, too… That might’ve offended him.”

‎ ‎

Ying explained thoughtfully with a finger on her chin. And from her dreamy tone, it was easy for you to infer that she was just about to go off on another tangent should you let her keep talking.

She promptly moved towards the register with this memory in mind. But before she could say anything, you interrupted her.

‎ ‎

“Who’s Iso?”

‎ ‎

…

‎ ‎

“Iso?”

‎ ‎

Ying stayed silent for a moment.

Then, she tittered,

‎ ‎

“I– I must’ve misspoken; I meant to say Yu.”

‎ ‎

You crossed your arms.

‎ ‎

“Who’s Iso, Ying?”

‎ ‎

“Ah, it– it’s just a character from a book I’m currently reading. It’s not anything important.” Ying fanned herself with her hand as she spoke, presumably from a bout of anxiety. “Anywho, as I was saying– would you like me to come along with you? We’ll find new spots for you to plant in!”

‎ ‎

…

You ran your fingers through your hair, leaning on the counter behind you.

Ying only had two Meyer lemons that day, and you managed to scoop out a combined amount of nine seeds. A lot, but compared to a normal lemon that had at least ten–fifteen seeds in one fruit, it was nothing. And what worried you was the prospect of you failing or only managing to get a few trees out of those.

It couldn’t hurt to have a few… backup fruits, right? If the lemons failed, you’d maybe have… something else. Besides, the cashier from that one shop seemed fond of you when you bought the garden ready passion fruit. You could purchase another orange and strike up a conversation with her. Besides, you needed to work on mentally desensitising yourself to being in his house.

‎ ‎

“I'll take care of it myself, I could use some alone time.”

‎ ‎

Even though every second of your life was composed of ‘alone time’ to the point that it was concerning. But Ying didn’t really want to mention that. Not when your mood seemed to be substantially improving with it.

She flashed you her familiar grin in response.

‎ ‎

“Well, if you’d like any help, I’m one–”

‎ ‎

“One text away, got it. Weren’t you talking to someone?”

‎ ‎

You gestured at the phone she set on the counter a while ago, referencing the call she’d abandoned in favour of this conversation. And you swore you could see buffering in her eyes before she caught on.

‎ ‎

“Oh! Right, thank you, I’d almost forgotten about her.”

‎ ‎

She quickly grabbed the phone and waved goodbye before disappearing into her office for the day. And by then, you had already known that customers made their way inside. You didn’t even need to look back to know. Not when that repetitive jingle gave it away, and the sounds of them snickering and gossiping to each other.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair, preparing to serve the group.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

You were still thinking about that gun even after it’d been a whole year since you visited his house. However, when you passed by his bedroom, the thoughts took over your mind like a virus. The urge to peer through his drawers once more grew unbearable, even after you’d done it a few dozen times. And each time, it wouldn’t change; there was simply no gun anymore. This weapon only raised more questions in your mind. None of them were new, except for one:

Was Yu dead?

Was that the reason for his disappearance? Maybe the hourglass medallion was related to it. Maybe they were a… an organisation? A group, something like that. Maybe he’d gotten into a fight with these people, or maybe they sent someone out to kill him. But why?

You thought of at least a hundred possibilities as to how he would’ve died, but none of it made sense because of one thing, how did someone like Yu get involved with people like this? The only reason you entertained it was because of his eyes, his nonexistent parents, and the bloody house you were in. There’s no way a barista with the same salary as you would be able to buy all of this.

But you never doubted him; you trusted him. You trusted his decision to keep it all vague. You trusted that, one day, he would tell you.

Maybe that was a mistake.

‎ ‎

Oh, screw it, you thought as you pushed the doors to his backyard open. Ignoring the familiar cold sensation that wrapped itself around your exposed face and neck was an easy task, especially when you were finally taking in the sight before you.

Six trees. But you already saw that before. What grabbed your attention were the white flowers scattered around the deep green leaves, like fairies that had sprinkled dust during the night. Once you’d reached it, you meticulously cupped one flower in your gloved hands and observed the shape, but all of it was healthy. All it needed was one more year to finally bear fruit.

The pearly white tint of the flower beautifully stood out against your black gloves; its thin petals curving in a manner so purposeful, you swore it was sculpted by the gods. They also needed pruning, you mused before going back to grab a tool you left behind. But you’d get to it after you watered them.

Incidentally, it was February; Winter was finally coming to an end. And this meant that the snow that coated the ground was starting to melt off, patches of dull grass sneaking through any opening they could in an effort to get some air. This made the shovel you were about to use somewhat redundant when it came to shovelling the snow.

Nevertheless, once you’d picked an empty spot in his spacious backyard, you slid the blade of your shovel under the thin mound of melting snow. Then, once you scooped up most of it, you tossed it aside and cleared the area.

‎ ‎

‘Why do you plant things in the winter? Why not summer?’

‎ ‎

Yu suddenly questioned from behind as he rested on the staircase after he’d done shovelling all of the snow. Since he’d volunteered and successfully done most of the gruelling work for you, you had enough space to finally plant the germinated lemon seeds once you were done spacing them out.

And to him, his inquiry made sense. Winter was the season of death, and even his optimism wouldn’t stop him from admitting that. So why would you pursue a hobby that sprouted life at that time?

You continued shovelling the snow out of the way as you remembered what you told him that dreadful day. And this time, you didn’t block your brain from pulling these annoying conversations from the depths of your mind – not when you wanted to remember the answer.

‎ ‎

‘Planting things in the winter helps them bear fruit faster. Moreover, the seeds I'm planting are winter fruit.’

‎ ‎

Despite sitting behind you, you could easily tell that Yu immediately perked up at the foreign term.

‎ ‎

‘Winter fruit?’

‎ ‎

‘Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like.’

‎ ‎

Whenever he learned something new from you, he would just have the cutest look on his face. If only you could see it now, you mulled. But that privilege was revoked years ago, and you weren’t in the mood to mourn right now. Not after all of your impressive progress so far.

‎ ‎

‘Lemons are a winter fruit?’

‎ ‎

You nodded.

‎ ‎

‘...What about oranges?’

‎ ‎

He noted the abundance of oranges you had at the time, and your silent plans to have them planted, if only it didn’t take years for the blasted trees to bear fruit. This question, however, made you pause at the time.

‎ ‎

‘They... are.’

‎ ‎

‘I see. And why oranges specifically?’

‎ ‎

Seemingly oblivious to the pause in your answer, Yu continued pressing on, unaware of the consequences of asking such a question.

Once the snow was out of the way and you’d cleared the grass, you moved back towards the doors and grabbed the nearby rake, ready to make space for your orange trees.

‎ ‎

‘They were my dad's favourite.’

‎ ‎

The answer came solemnly; the shift in topic immediately souring both his and your mood. And Yu quickly caught on to his mistake since he immediately rushed to apologise,

‎ ‎

‘Oh, I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…’

‎ ‎

You pushed a plentiful amount of dirt out of the way with only a few repetitive movements. And though they were few, you still felt the sweat form. The thick jacket you wore started to weigh heavily on you. That, and just about everything else, but were you really going to work in a tank top out here?

‎ ‎

‘No, it's okay.’

‎ ‎

Yu watched you stand up once you were done, dusting off your hands. Yet he noted how weak your movements were. How much hesitance was involved in just getting the dirt off of your fingers, or even holding yourself up.

How easily upset you were at the mention of your deceased parents.

At the time.

‎ ‎

‘Can we leave? I'll... I'll check on the trees afterwards.’

‎ ‎

He immediately stood up and took off his glove to pull you closer to him.

‎ ‎

‘Of course. You deserve a break, after all. Where would you like to go?’

‎ ‎

‘Do you remember the bridge I told you about? I heard it looks better in the spring; but we should go tomorrow.’

‎ ‎

Yu beamed at this, his fingers interlocking with yours, and his thumb had already begun outlining the lines on your palm. It sounded like an innocent suggestion.

‎ ‎

‘Tomorrow? Okay, but you'll have to send me the location in advance.’

‎ ‎

You remembered both of you leaving for the bridge that day and what came afterwards. You remembered the dread that followed you throughout the entire trip. Not to mention the gloom, all because you remembered your father. And it’s not like any of it was to be missed. You didn’t miss having your whole day ruined at the mention of one person.

You stood back and stared at the hole you’d dug with the shovel, measuring its width compared to the tree you were about to put in its place.

Perfect, you thought. It was all perfect.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Summer passed by like a breeze, and Ying was beyond delighted at the harvest you brought back and immediately got to work with the others to turn them into delicious treats to sell. Luckily for you (or her), they sold like hotcakes, and today, once winter finally arrived, the moment you walked through the doors and heard the jingle from above, you already saw the results of your hard work.

Ying stood deep within the dining area in front of the wall that used to be empty for so long; now, however, it carried the large, expensive painting she had yearned for the past few years. And just like she predicted, it looked absolutely stunning. The colours perfectly complemented the warm colour palette of the general area, and the ladies and their surroundings bounced off of the previously dull flora she’d decorated the area with. That, and, you know, it was just a pretty painting to look at.

You approached and pocketed your headphones, but Ying needn’t look back to know you were there. The crunch of the ice under your boots was loud enough. All thanks to the strong snowfall outside.

‎ ‎

“Isn’t this amazing? It feels like I renovated the whole area, Y/N!”

‎ ‎

She said excitedly as she clasped her hands together, meeting your gaze. Did you even want to ask how long she spent staring at the painting? Not that it was a bad thing.

‎ ‎

“I admit. It does look impressive.”

‎ ‎

“And I couldn’t have done it without you! Speaking of which, you look happy today. Did something happen?”

‎ ‎

Ying asked with a tilt of her head, and your smile only widened at this despite your futile attempts to keep a straight face.

‎ ‎

“The lady at the nursery suggested I sell some of my plants there with her. I’m still considering it.”

‎ ‎

She didn’t know who she was, so you didn’t really bother telling Ying the name of this new friend you made. But her face still beamed at this.

‎ ‎

“Why not? You mentioned your apartment being cramped a while ago. Is that still the case?”

‎ ‎

“It is.”

‎ ‎

Of course she’d remember an off-handed comment from months ago. Besides, all anyone needed to know something like this was to simply glance at any of your windows, and they’d see the potted trees pressed up against them.

‎ ‎

“I’ll still have to wait until the weather clears up.”

‎ ‎

“I see. Good call.”

‎ ‎

She didn’t need to look out the windows to see the thick fog outside. The way to work was difficult enough for her since she had to avoid the black ice and check the weather for any potential storms. Nevertheless, despite how subtle it was, Ying immediately picked up on the wistfulness that bled into your previously content tone.

‎ ‎

“Is… something wrong?”

‎ ‎

Your smile slowly fell as you carefully leaned on the table behind you.

Don’t quote me on this comparison, I hate Chemistry. But despite solitude being bound to you like protons to a nucleus at this point, and vice versa, you’d been keeping this question to yourself, and it felt like it was driving you mad. For once, you needed to ask someone, and who better than Ying? And you weren’t in the mood to be subtle or to ease her into it.

Might as well lay it all out.

‎ ‎

“Is Yu dead?”

‎ ‎

She seemed incredibly caught off guard by the question.

‎ ‎

“Dead? That– that’s a… ah, a bold assumption… Why would you ever say that?”

‎ ‎

Should you even tell her about the gun and the hourglass medallion? Even though you were still pissed at Yu for keeping so many things hidden from you, you still felt it disrespectful to air out his laundry behind his back. Well, if he was alive, that is.

Besides, it’s not like she was innocent either. She had a mysteriously large sum of money herself, despite being a humble café owner. Speaking of… why didn’t she just buy the painting with that instead of waiting for your harvest? Maybe you shouldn’t ask everything.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair.

‎ ‎

“Just a thought.”

‎ ‎

“No, don’t say that. You’re doing so well, Y/N; don’t let the pessimism get to you!”

‎ ‎

You smiled in amusement at her words. Was the change in your appearance and attitude that drastic? You could’ve sworn one of the positive things about your genes was the lack of dark circles under your eyes. Ying, however, only kept going.

‎ ‎

“How about we visit his grandmother? I know both of you used to do that a lot. Are those lemons done growing?”

‎ ‎

“They are. I should be able to harvest them on Sunday if the weather gets better.”

‎ ‎

It’s been a while since you visited her. And honestly, you may or may not have missed her delighted smile and hug whenever she’d see you come in with freshly baked goods for her to enjoy. Shame this all stopped when Yu disappeared. If you took it this horribly, you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.

‎ ‎

“Sunday? That’s great! Would you like me to come with you? I’ll bring the baskets!”

‎ ‎

For once, the offer sounded enticing. Hauling baskets around in a bus also sounded like a terrible idea. So…

You nodded.

‎ ‎

“I don’t mind.”

‎ ‎

“Wonderful! So, what do you always bring her? Was it lemon bars, or…”

‎ ‎

Ying started spitballing ideas as she walked you to the counter, attempting to come up with a list of lemon desserts for you both to bring. Sweets and baking weren’t her forte, but it was really fun to watch her ramble on about something she really enjoyed. It wasn’t that hard to tell that she never got to have a casual conversation with someone outside of work, anyway.

And so you let her talk, instead opting to listen to her in silence and only chiming in when she was out of words.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Both of you settled on lemon pie. It was a nice change compared to the usual pound cakes you’d always bring her. And besides, you needed to bring something special after not visiting her for years, or however long it’s been. Not like you were one to keep track of time.

Nevertheless, a week had passed since that conversation, and things only continued to improve. Mentally, that is.

You were way too exhausted from tending to what felt like a few hundred trees all day. The work felt like it was never ending. It’s not like you were able to go outside anyway; the fog never let up since then. Even the buses were starting to reroute, and your path to work was getting more and more hazy.

Thankfully for you, it was Saturday; you’ve been up since the crack of dawn, and you’ve just finished your housework at two in the afternoon. Pruning, fertilising, watering and fending off fungal infections and diseases. Even though it was winter, an abundance of dormant plants still equaled a considerable amount of work. Sure, as Ying said, the air was fresher in here, but you needed to sell all of these plants. It was quite literally a forest at this point. That wasn’t to mention the ones at Yu’s house that you still haven’t tended to, the ones you were going to harvest tomorrow had the weather improved.

Once you set down your shears and gave your fingers the relief of rest after spending the past hour pruning your kiwi tree, it felt like they were just one wrong move away from falling off your body. And maybe that was the time for you to actually stop working.

‎ ‎

You walked back inside to your hotter bedroom and slammed the door to the balcony shut, taking a deep breath of the fresh air to isolate a specific scent. And it didn’t take long for you to spot it – the scent of hot chocolate. You’d just made it for breakfast and had completely forgotten about it whilst waiting for it to cool off.

Huh. Instead of drinking it in bed, maybe you should try something Ying would probably do.

You ran your stiff fingers through your hair and moved towards the kitchen, grabbed the lukewarm cup and headed for the living room. Once you sat down on the couch, the remote immediately made its way into your hand and the television was turned on. Yu’s blankets were still there. You washed and tossed them back there, since there was no reason for you to move them. Not like you felt ill when you looked at them. They were pretty warm.

Besides, you were more concerned with the television and whether or not it would work after being unused for so long.

And… Yeah. It was kind of boring. Scratch that; it was very boring. Ying was probably just way too old-fashioned for you.

You surfed through the channels for a few more minutes. And with every channel you passed, you were only further reminded as to why this blasted thing was never used. You surfed and surfed and surfed, eventually landing on whatever channel it was once you’d gotten bored enough and instead picked up the phone to scroll through social media. Maybe you really should hit up your landlord and stop funding this useless thing mounted on your wall, you mused.

Your train of thought, however, was immediately derailed once your ringtone blasted in your ears. Ying had suddenly called you. And despite your annoyance, you accepted it without thought, holding the phone up to your ear.

‎ ‎

“Y/N! Good afternoon, how are you?”

‎ ‎

“Hi. Do you need something?”

‎ ‎

She tittered, and you could feel her anxiously fan herself from the other side of the phone.

‎ ‎

“What if I just wanted to check in on my friend?”

‎ ‎

“So you… don’t need anything.”

‎ ‎

“No, I do. Are you free this March?”

‎ ‎

You sighed and instead looked out the window, your eyes locking on the rapid snowfall that only helped further coat the ground in tonnes of snow. Sidewalks, houses, dead trees, balconies… Well, the uncovered ones, of course. Your balcony was safe.

‎ ‎

“Possibly. Why?”

‎ ‎

This question was weird to ask, to say the least. Especially to someone who lived their life with no planning and went with the flow. But you did understand why she’d ask since she planned months and months ahead.

‎ ‎

“There’s something I must do, but it’s highly likely that I’d end up needing your assistance with it. Do you recall a few years ago, when you…”

‎ ‎

Then, the word ‘storm’ caught your attention, your eyes immediately darted back to the television as your brain tuned out Ying’s words. Turns out that the channel you’d stopped at was the weather forecast, and the woman was explaining an incoming catastrophic storm headed towards…

Crap.

‎ ‎

“I– I have to go; I need to leave.”

‎ ‎

“Where? What’s happening?”

‎ ‎

Without thought, you stood up and rushed towards the thick jacket you had hung up on the coat rack right next to the door.

‎ ‎

“Ying, there’s a blizzard. It’s headed right around the neighbourhood where Yu’s house is!”

‎ ‎

You slipped on your boots and grabbed your keys, stuffing whatever remaining essentials there were in your pocket.

‎ ‎

“What?! Y/N, wait, don’t tell me you’re–”

‎ ‎

“I’m going, Ying!”

‎ ‎

“Don’t! Don’t, just wait for me, I–”

‎ ‎

You slammed the door shut, haphazardly holding the scarf over your nose, and rushed down the flight of stairs.

‎ ‎

Ying failed to convince you not to go before you closed the phone and shifted all of your focus back on your path, and she especially failed to get you to understand what was truly happening through your skull. To her, you either didn’t notice the magnitude of the situation, or you just outright didn’t care. Rushing into a blizzard just to keep a few trees safe was something no sane person would do, even with how much those trees meant to you.

And despite the thick haze that blocked you from seeing only a few feet in front of you, the people rushing to get home as soon as possible, and the rapid snowfall, none of it mattered. You clutched the ice-cold pole inside the bus and leaned your head against it, its temperature seeping through your thick black gloves and stinging your skin.

Your eyes locked on the windows as you watched the driver struggle to make his way through the fog, and your heart raced fast enough that it nearly constituted a heart attack. People around you were scared. The children huddled with their parents like scared birds, and you swore you could hear a few of them reassure their kids that they were going to make it home just fine. But you tuned it all out in favour of what was important to you.

All you needed to do was get to his house. Get to his house at the very least, and it’ll all be okay.

Those trees will be okay. You’ll make sure of it.

81 notes · View notes

caramel1mochi · 1 year ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [1]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Depression and implied suicidal thoughts (I swear it’s not all sad haha) ‎ ‎

Words: 4k ‎

NOTES: 'Tis the season! Ha, I rushed to get this out before Christmas was over. Christmas is still going, right? Happy holidays!! ‎ Anyway, this story is HEAVILY reliant on flashbacks and the past in general, so keep that in mind. Have a good read! ‎ ‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, one year ago.

‎

If there was one thing you loathed with every inch of your being, it would be the winter season. It was a season that was associated with only despair and heavily encouraged death. Both physically and mentally. The death of plants, the death of animals, the death of people, just death in general.

And you hated it. You hated the overwhelming feeling of melancholy that would loom over you whenever snow would fall.

Your arms rested on the ice cold metal railing that overlooked a mystifying lake, one that had gotten frozen over the past week. The thick sleeves of your hoodie blocked the freezing temperatures like dutiful guards surrounding a castle. This comfort, however, felt like a miniscule droplet in the ocean of despondency you felt.

A tired sigh escaped you. And like a furious dragon, a vapour of pure white billowed from your lips.

‎

“Disgusting.”

‎

You muttered under your breath whilst you looked at the ice. In the distance, you heard something crack, and it took you only a few seconds to spot where it was on the icy surface of the lake.

‎

“Look on the bright side, at least.”

‎

Yu, your boyfriend, piped up from your right. He rested on the railing just as you did, with his jacket protecting him. But his upright posture and bright purple eyes conveyed something you didn’t: joy.

‎

“Like what?”

‎

“Look around you, observe the snow.”

‎

He pointed to the blankets of snow that surrounded the forest around the bridge, each snowflake collectively gathered to envelop every tree your eyes laid on. Like a mother huddled with her children on a cold night. To him, the landscape looked like a stunning painting, one meticulously slaved over by an artist who desired perfection over all else.

‎

“Isn’t it breathtaking?”

‎

Maybe to him. But to you? All you saw were dead trees, shells of the beautiful bearers of fruit and life they once were. That wasn’t to mention the corpses of animals buried under the feet of snow he was so enamoured by.

You rested your head on your arms in silence.

‎

“It’s winter.”

‎

Two words. Curt, but enough to summarise the maelstrom of thoughts that roamed your mind.

And it’s not like he didn’t know, either. He did, which was why, despite his optimism, he also started dreading this season once you both started dating nearly five winters ago. Yu placed one hand on your shoulder, the wooden planks under him loudly creaking as he stepped closer to you. Then, he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer, the warmth from his body counteracting the one from the railings.

‎

“I understand.”

‎

For a moment, that was all he could say.

‎

“But… Y/N, you shouldn’t think about them every single day.”

‎

You shut your eyes and took in a deep, slow breath, allowing the cold air to be warmed on the way to your lungs.

As much as he denied it, and as stiff as his face was, Yu was incredibly expressive. Whenever he’d try to conceal how he felt, his body language simply betrayed him at every turn. He meant well, both of you knew that. Especially you. But Yu wasn’t exactly the best when it came to dealing with things like… this.

‎

“It’s difficult to get over them, Yu. It feels impossible.”

‎

Since Yu’s hands were gloved the whole way here, the slightly cold temperature of it didn’t bother you as much once his fingers intertwined with yours. Add on to the fact your hands were in your pockets, the warmth immediately cooled him down as he began gently outlining the lines on your palm with his thumb.

You lost your parents in one hazy winter. And every one after that would be a depressing reminder of that fact.

‎

“Every winter, I ask myself why I should keep going.”

‎

He paused.

‎

“What’s waiting for us at the end? Some silly award for putting up with this?”

‎

“Don’t say that. There’s more to life than baseless questions like that.”

‎

The white tint of the snow was bright. So bright, it began piercing your eyes, and you were forced to close them for a hint of relief.

‎

“What do you think?”

‎

You flipped the question on him, your words cutting through his benevolence like acid through a rotting cadaver.

Silence settled for a moment. Between it and the blankets of snow that surrounded you, you could hear Yu’s very pulse echo with each passing second. That, and how his lips parted. But for a moment, no words left his mouth, and he stayed quiet.

‎

“I… I don’t know.” He turned away. “I’m sorry. I don’t think about things like this.”

‎

It figures, you thought. Nevertheless, he began outlining the lines on your palm all over again, and the sound of the shuffling in your pocket as he did this started to stick out to you.

A few rapid clicks caught your attention. And once you lifted your head, you noticed a peculiar sight.

A bird had landed on the lake’s icy surface. Though it was a few dozen feet away from you, somehow, It felt as if all the sound waves were channelled in one direction just to reach you, and you could see it with clarity that would rival a telescope. With each step, you heard a loud click. And each time it pecked at the ice under it, you heard a little pick that accompanied it.

You wanted to ask why there was a bird here. Around this time, they’d usually disappear and leave the grey sky more dreary and lifeless than it ever could be. So… why?

You diligently watched it stretch its stunning wings, shades of blue reflecting off of the sunlight and complementing each other. Somehow, it spawned various new shades on its wings. Like ballet dancers, the colours played off each other's movements gracefully.

You lifted a hand and pointed at the bird.

‎

“It looks just like you.”

‎

Yu stopped to get a glance at what you were looking at. Then, he chuckled.

‎

“You think every bird looks like me, Y/N.”

‎

“I...”

‎

Your words were interrupted once the bird’s feathers reached outwards. For a moment, it puffed and formed a fluffy ball of white, blue and black, before it rapidly shook its head and relaxed all over again.

‎

“There. Did you see that?”

‎

“See what?”

‎

“It puffed up.” You met his gaze. “It looked just like you whenever you’d wake up.”

‎

Even on the hottest days of summer, Yu would have at least three blankets wrapped around him whilst he slept. That wasn’t to mention how messy his hair would be whenever you had the pleasure of catching him in this way. Yu grinned, pulling you closer as you both watched the bird for a few seconds.

A few short-lived seconds, until it flew away and disappeared into the clouds, cutting the enjoyable moment short.

But before melancholy would dare set in once more, Yu immediately turned to meet your gaze, his purple eyes glimmering under the bright winter sky. Just like the bird’s wings, the colours mixed with each other in a captivating manner.

‎

“How about we go home and watch a movie? I’ll even make you hot chocolate. What do you say?”

‎

“Movie?”

‎

A moment of silence settled.

But just as Yu thought he failed in his endeavour to cheer you up, all of his doubts evaporate once he saw a smile form. The sensation of such a move, though weak, still felt foreign to your face.

‎

“Can we take the movie out of the equation?”

‎

…

‎

“Definitely.”

‎

Before another word could be uttered, he suddenly pulled you much closer, trapping you in a warm embrace. And you couldn’t help but grin at such an unexpected yet sweet move.

‎

“Yu, we’re in public.”

‎

“You don’t know how much I missed your smile, Y/N.”

‎

“Be reasonable. It couldn’t have been that long.”

‎

You said, your words muffled as he had your face pressed up against the inside of his jacket. Your arms were wrapped around him to allow the heat to pass on over to you.

‎

“It has.” He muttered. “Longer than you think.”

‎

The pleasant fragrance of lemons entered your nostrils. Familiar, especially since it was the only type of musk Yu ever sought after. Other than yours, of course.

‎

❤ฺ·。

Winter, present day.

‎

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Yu once the week after that conversation. He didn’t answer his phone, and, like you, none of his acquaintances knew where he went. Even with the police alerted, he was still legally considered missing.

On your way to work that dreadful morning, you’ve had your eyes stuck on your phone the whole time you walked down that repetitive path. You were calling Yu for the umpteenth time in hopes that he’d miraculously answer. But just as expected, your call was sent to voicemail again.

He was gone.

And you didn’t shed a tear. Not that you didn’t care, quite the contrary, in fact. You lost a ton of people. He was just another added to the list.

With a deep sigh, you pocketed your phone and looked up at the sky, a group of clouds concealing its previously blue colour thanks to the season. White and pale, just like bones.

‎

Your fingers wrapped around the cold golden handle. And with one swift push accompanied by a cheerful ding of the bell above you, you’d entered the café you worked at. The warmth hit you like a slap in the face once you’d fully entered the café. The boring music inside, and not to mention the decor you were borderline sick of seeing every day.

Your boss, Ying, and another one of your co-workers were chatting behind the counter. But your entrance immediately halted the conversation and shifted their attention towards you.

‎

“There you are! I was getting worried.”

‎

“Hi.”

‎

Ying earned a boring greeting from you. Just like every other day. And just as you turned back to the counter, you were suddenly pulled into a tight hug.

‎

“Y/N, how have you been? Here– would you like me to make you something?”

‎

She pulled away and held your shoulders in hopes of catching a change in your expression this time, but there was naught.

Ying, despite being your boss, had been treating you like her daughter for the longest time. And with Yu’s disappearance, her treatment was laced with worry and an overwhelming desire to tend to your needs. But every time, she’d earn the same response accompanied by the same vacant look on your face.

‎

“I’d like to clock in.”

‎

“Would you like to take the day off instead? Take a moment to catch yourself?”

‎

Though you had no circles under your eyes or any other noticeable blotches, she still noted the subtle gaunt look on your face. Pale, lifeless skin, and that wasn’t to mention the dull heaviness in your pitch black irises. A massive contrast to Yu, whose very presence brought life to any location lucky enough to bear his presence.

You shook your head.

A sigh escaped her and her gaze turned to the ground for a moment. Then, an idea popped up.

‎

“How about some passion fruit juice? We still have some in stock from yesterday.”

‎

Ying said with that kind smile as she looked back up at you. It almost widened to a full-blown grin once your lids slightly lifted at this random offer. Passion fruit was your favourite. And she remembered, even though you mentioned it offhandedly many winters ago.

You still shook your head.

‎

“I’m not too fond of the artificial flavour.” You held her wrists and put her hands down. “Thank you, nonetheless.”

‎

It took you only two seconds to walk away from Ying’s benevolent aura and move behind the counter where the sickening one lay. The very creaks of the floorboards and the ticking of the machines churned your stomach.

‎ ‎

“I’m leaving. You need any help in here?”

‎

Your co-worker exclaimed, earning the same response you gave Ying twice. And with that, he immediately tossed the towel on the counter and walked out, leaving your boss in the awkward position of asking the same question.

‎

“Y/N?”

‎

“I’ll be okay.”

‎

Juxtaposed to the loud slam emitted from the door once your co-worker left, as if to announce his departure, for Ying, it was a gentle woosh of the wind, followed by a click once she’d closed the wooden door. You didn’t even realise she left until you lazily glanced at the exit for a moment, then turned to the task at hand.

‎

You grabbed the towel and began wiping the counters. The hum of the refrigerators around you remained as the only thing that broke the heavy silence that encapsulated the small café.

Everyday was the same routine. Wake up, go to work, go home and wait for sleep. At this point, the only thing amiss today was Ying’s offer to make you passion fruit juice. A delightful offer, but the juice here was artificial sugar. If anyone would know that, it was you.

You jumped once you felt a hand on your shoulder, looking over to see Ying.

‎

“Oh, Ying, I– I assumed you left.”

‎

“No, I merely closed the door.”

‎

Your pupils dilated as you took in her soft features once more. But before you could allow this conversation to blossom, you turned away and continued wiping the counters.

‎

“Y/N, are you okay?”

‎

“What makes you think otherwise?”

‎

“Every day, you look more and more like a zombie. I… I cannot help but worry every second you’re not with me.”

‎

With a loud clunk, you set down one of the cups on the marble counter and stared at the wet towel in your hand, its temperature combining with the one around you to freeze your bare hand. But that didn’t matter to you. There was only one thing that caught your eye; its colour.

Purple.

A deep sigh escaped you, but you didn’t dare lift your chin to look at your boss.

‎

“When are we opening?”

‎

Ying held herself and watched you continue working.

‎

“Please, just speak to me. I fear the day you won’t walk through that door, and I feel as though it’s coming very soon.”

‎

“Enough with the fear mongering. I just don’t want to talk, okay? I don’t even want to look at you.”

‎

She opened her mouth, but the words were lodged in her throat. Clearly, though those words escaped you without second thought, Ying was still taken by surprise.

You needed to act fast.

‎

“Everything reminds me of them, Ying. And you remind me of him now. More than ever.”

‎

“I… I understand. What you’re going through is horrible, nobody deserves to experience anything like this. But, Y/N, please,” she cupped your cheeks in her hands, “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

‎

You were forced to look up at the tall woman to even meet her gaze. And that, you hated. You hated how her features somewhat matched Yu’s. The more you scrutinised her, the more similarities you found. Their nose, lips, their height, and the way their silky black hair framed their face. Hell, even their soft voices matched.

‎

“You haven’t eaten breakfast today, have you?”

‎

Her amiable voice suddenly took on an incredibly stern tone, one alien to someone like her. And to say you were caught off-guard would be a massive understatement.

‎

“Pardon?”

‎

“You’re pale. Your blood pressure is low.”

‎

“Pressure…?”

‎

You watched Ying immediately pull away and rush towards the fridge, a gust of cold air hitting you like a whip. On another note, it was winter. Why the hell was the fridge still on?

‎

“Ah, I meant sugar, Your blood sugar. We need to get you something to drink!”

‎

You eyed the passion fruit juice she took out of the fridge, golden fluid swirling inside in a hypnotising manner. And with a slam of the fridge’s door, its movements grew more rapid and dramatic. Then, you met her gaze with a vacant expression.

‎

“Ying, I’m fine.”

‎

"For the love of God, please accept some help and get your sugar back up. Just this once, at least!"

‎

She desperately held out the juice for you. And, although you were incredibly reluctant, you gave in and grabbed it from her.

‎

“Fine, but if I’m going to drink juice, I might as well make it myself.”

‎

Ying’s eyes bore into yours whilst you twisted the green plastic cap. Then, a particularly contagious smile lifted her pink lips. That statement must’ve evoked something within her.

‎

“Do you still remember how?”

‎

“What? Of course I do–”

‎

“Wonderful! Then I’ll take out everything you need.”

‎

She lit up and trotted over to a nearby counter, her large black ponytail swaying with each step. Ying immediately bent down and took out a few dusty slick grey boxes from inside, but your eyes were only focused on the dust that fell to the ground with every box she took out.

A mess you’d have to mop up.

Nevertheless, you took a sip and immediately grimaced at the unnatural flavour.

‎

“I bought a container of passion fruit yesterday, but I was afraid you’d be offended had I asked you to make some again.”

‎

"Why would I be offended by that?"

‎

With a huff and a loud thud, she slid out the blender’s box onto the ground. Then, she fixed her posture and grabbed it on both sides, ready to lift it.

‎

“I did not wish to pressure you into making this again. I understand your circumstances, however…” she lifted the box and set it on the counter, meeting your gaze with a smile, “your products are very addictive!”

‎

You took another sip in silence and set the drink next to the cash register, before moving to the fridge to take out the container of passion fruit.

‎

“Do you need any help with those?”

‎

You shook your head and took out a spoon and a bowl. It didn’t take long for her to catch on to what you were trying to do, clasping her hands together nervously.

‎

“Are you going to wash and scoop all those seeds? Alone?”

‎

“Are there people outside?”

‎

She glanced at the wooden double doors. If the massive windows on the walls weren’t enough, the doors allowed an even wider view of the sidewalk outside. Thankfully, the snow didn’t obscure much of her vision, either.

‎

“Ah… No, not quite. This morning is as idle as the others.”

‎

“Then I’ll do it.”

‎

She smiled and nodded.

‎

“I admire your patience.”

‎

That was all she said before she turned to unbox the blender. Thankfully, she let the silence in the air settle and allowed you to work alone. At this point, the conversation already grew exhausting enough. You couldn’t be bothered to say another word.

‎

❤ฺ·。

‎

Winter, three years ago.

‎

At first, it started out a chivalrous act.

One day, Yu, your co-worker at the time, randomly offered to escort you to and back from work with a peculiarly red set of cheeks. You said yes. Not that you needed the protection. And quite frankly, looking back, it was clearly a thin veiled attempt for him to get close to you; but you still entertained the offer and walked with him. It quickly became a day to day thing.

First, you’d see him by the gates every morning and head to the café.

Afterwards, once you both went back, you’d part ways at said gate. He’d go to the bus to return to his house, and you’d go up to your apartment. But after you started dating, he started sleeping over. Then, he began spending more time in your cramped home instead of his lavish abode.

Then… Well, to say he simply ‘took over’ would be an understatement.

‎

Once the both of you had arrived at the entrance that would lead to your dwelling, you took off the earbud and handed it back to Yu, promptly pushing the thick door to your apartment open. Back then, whenever you’d enter, the gust of air that enfolded you used to have a… melancholic feel to it.

Now, it was anything but.

‎

“Every day you visit, this place looks less and less like the house I live in.”

‎

You randomly commented, not bothering to glance at him as you spoke. An audible creak echoed through the small area. Then, with a loud flick, the lights switched open and allowed the comfort of familiarity to finally envelope each of you.

‎

“How do you mean?”

‎

“Look around. Look at what you’ve done to my home.”

‎

You haphazardly gestured around you whilst turning on more lights. And it was only after a moment of confused silence did he finally respond to your comment.

‎

“I’m not following.”

‎

You turned around, and both of your eyes bore into each others’. Judging by the blank expression he carried, he truly looked lost. So… you’d show him.

You held his hand and guided him down the entrance hall towards the living room, and pointed at the couch that faced the television mounted on the wall. Just looking at it proved your point, seeing how it was covered with blankets.

‎

“Two blankets,” you then pointed at the armchair on the corner where another one sat, “three,” the other armchair, “four,” the heaters, “and five.”

‎

You turned to face him with crossed arms.

‎

“And the three on my bed.”

‎

By the time you finished pointing everything out, both of you had stopped at the doorway that led to the corridor. He knew by the way you pursed your lips; you definitely weren’t done yet.

You took a deep inhale, finally taking in the air that lingered around you like a lovesick ex.

‎

“It smells like the inside of a lemon, as well.”

‎

Yu smiled politely once you had finalised your sentiment. Sure, your tone was dry, but he wasn’t insulted. In fact, judging by his upright posture, he seemed quite proud of how he unwittingly changed up the place.

‎

“I... hear you. On another note, it's been three years and I still haven’t gotten to the balcony yet.”

You raised an eyebrow. He just couldn’t be subtle even if his life depended on it.

‎

“I’m not giving you the keys to the balcony, Yu.”

‎

“Just a peek?”

‎

You turned away and began taking off the heavy jacket you wore, earning a particularly endearing huff from him. The shadows on the ground let you know he crossed his arms and turned his gaze away to the living room. Probably eyeing the blankets on the couch you pointed out just a few minutes ago.

He muttered something under his breath. But before you could ask him what it was, he immediately moved over to the couch. Huh. Your hypothesis was correct.

‎

Not paying him any mind, you began slipping off your boots and taking off the hair tie that started to give you a headache.

Then, your eyes widened once you heard a distant spray. You immediately turned around.

“Yu, we don’t need anymore–”

‎

The words were lodged in your throat once you realised he wasn’t spraying the room with his lemon mister again. He wasn’t doing that at all, no. Instead, he was misting the potted plant set in the corner of the living room. Holes lay in the edges of its dull leaves. And thanks to the weak sunlight that bled through the windows, you could see that the soil was dangerously dry, as well.

You stepped up solemnly, watching him mist it.

‎

“How long has it been since you last watered this?”

‎

Judging by the curious tone, you knew that he wasn’t mocking you. He just wasn’t as knowledgeable as you were when it came to plants. You nervously clenched your fists and turned your gaze away, eyes landing on the dark vinyl flooring.

‎

“I… must have forgotten about it.”

‎

Of course you did. It was a miracle you even slipped out of bed every morning, let alone take care of something like this.

A gentle pat on your shoulder snapped you out of your maelstrom of thoughts, and you hesitantly looked up to meet his gentle gaze.

“That’s okay. You were busy.” He chuckled. “It’s probably why the smell of lemons is so strong, right?”

‎

You playfully flicked his forehead with a vacant expression, before grabbing the mister from his hands and aiming it at the plant. That’s one incentive for you to take care of the plant, that’s for sure. Oh, but you’d never tell him that.

Nevertheless, you continued misting. And spraying water on it felt so… weird.

But also relieving.

118 notes · View notes

caramel1mochi · 11 months ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [4]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎

Words: 5k ‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. Good day! Sorry for the delay, I totally haven't been eating up the Iso stuff Valorant's posting for the past few weeks like an Iso zombie, or anything. Also I might start publishing stuff a lot more slowly with everything's coming up, but I'll try my best to keep writing! Have a good read!‎ ‎‎ ‎

‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day.

‎ ‎

You were tasked with showing up to work extra early today. Not that you had anything important to do, but Ying had an idea, and she always made her grand ideas your or Yu’s problem.

Mostly you, for some reason. Since she was your boss, you never really minded this. Actually, it was starting to grow on you, especially since she seemed incredibly busy with something else and didn’t have many other ways to release her stress.

It was important to note that this wasn’t all daisies and rainbows, however. This plan, though joyous for her, was pure torture for you.

Your path to work today consisted of you carrying a basket concealed at the top with some cloth as you walked down the pavement. Your mistake of not wearing gloves, combined with the brutally cold weather and the heaviness of said basket, it felt like your fingers were about to snap and fall off any second. Despite somehow surviving every single winter in your lifetime, you never bothered purchasing gloves since you had this habit of keeping your hands in your pockets.

Fuelled by a certain someone.

Your thoughts were curt once you pushed the door open, your entrance accompanied by a jingle as you moved towards the counter where Ying was. Though she was writing down a few things on her laptop, she immediately met your gaze with a grin and prioritised greeting you.

The heat inside the café enveloped you, and you immediately welcomed it with open arms whilst you moved.

‎ ‎

“Good morning, Y/N! Did you bring the goods?”

‎ ‎

Take that out of context.

You pocketed your headphones, then slammed the hefty basket on the counter to relieve yourself of the weight, a loud thud echoing through the empty and barely lit café. Then, you slipped off the cloth covering, immediately taking out its contents before she’d get a chance to peek.

‎ ‎

“One,”

‎ ‎

You placed one ripened passion fruit on the table, Ying’s eyes glimmering in excitement as she turned off her laptop and clasped her hands together.

‎ ‎

“Two,” you set down another, “three,” then another, “four, five, six,”

‎

You were careful not to set them down too hard. Despite their thick skin, you knew you could accidentally crush them. And after a whole year of tending to that cursed tree, preventing fungal infections and protecting it from anything that stood between you and a bloody good harvest, smashing the fruits was the last thing you wanted to do.

‎ ‎

“Fifteen.”

‎ ‎

You set down the final one. And by the time you looked up at Ying, her grin grew so wide it could tear her skin open with just one more fruit set to the counter.

‎ ‎

“Wonderful– this is amazing! I can only imagine how many desserts and drinks we can make with this!” She held one fruit and let her thumb scan the wrinkly skin. “And how’re your other trees, if I may ask?”

‎ ‎

With a shrug, the basket was tossed aside and you made your way behind the counter, taking out a knife from a nearby drawer. Your fingers were noticeably less stiff thanks to the heat. Though it still hurt to bend them, it wasn’t as bad as, you know, probably approaching hypothermia.

‎ ‎

“We have to wait until next summer for the harvest, I’m afraid.”

‎ ‎

“Ah, is that so? No problem; the profits we’ll make from this should make up for the time lost!”

‎ ‎

She noted with the same enthusiasm from the moment you showed her a single fruit.

You didn’t want to waste your time making the pies. Your task was to grow the fruit, not cook them. At least until she said otherwise. Again, Ying was your boss.

Once you put down the chopping board and knife you previously washed, she handed you the fruit and allowed you to cut into it. And with just one slice, it parted to reveal a slew of yellow deliciousness glimmering under the light, waiting to be ingested. Ying aimed for said ‘deliciousness’. You, however, already aimed to keep the seeds for yourself.

She took the sliced fruit and trotted off, letting you take the others and continue cutting into them. The silence was immediately broken, however, especially once another thing popped up in her mind.

‎ ‎

“I don’t want to sound like a creep, but…” she piped up from behind, “I noticed you started listening to music on the way here again.”

‎ ‎

You paused.

Right… The headphones. You mindlessly took them out last week and started using them whilst pruning your tree, the action comparable to pouring yourself a glass of water to go with a meal. As if there was no emotional attachment to such a thing.

And it felt good, now that she mentioned it. No– it felt triumphant, actually. More pleasing than coming to work with a basketful of fruit with only the bustling of the streets to accompany you. Not that your taste in music was anything crazy, but, you know.

You promptly went back to slicing through the fruit. It took a great deal of effort not to let the looming sense of despondency consume you as if it were a blue whale.

‎ ‎

“Yeah, I… Gardening is as distracting as I remember it to be.”

‎ ‎

“You’re not going to drop it, are you?”

‎ ‎

“No, no. Not at all.”

‎ ‎

It gave you something to do other than sulk in bed all day. Ying took the sliced fruit with a smile you barely caught from the corner of your eye, before moving back to the counter behind you.

‎ ‎

“I’ve actually purchased a few other things to go along with the pies we’re making. Would you like the seeds?”

‎ ‎

You looked back to see her taking out a few other fruits and setting them on the crowded counter, right next to what you discovered was a colander. The colours of said fruit pleasantly stood out against the variety of beiges and the muted tones of the outside world. A few oranges sat adjacent to the sliced passion fruit from you, some store-bought passion fruit alongside those ones, and��

‎ ‎

“I was told oranges were your specialty a while ago. I’m hoping that’s still the case.”

‎ ‎

“...What lemon is that?”

‎ ‎

Ying paused to look back at what she’d set down, before perking up and grabbing the exact fruit you were eyeing.

‎ ‎

“Ah, you noticed? It’s a Meyer lemon! I had to wait for December and go so far to find them; I still somehow only managed to purchase two before they sold out.” She grinned to herself whilst handing it to you. “I don’t know how you used to get so many all the time.”

‎ ‎

You set down the blade, then moved to take the lemon from her, observing its familiar shape and colour. Soft, round, thin skin, and a deeper tint of yellow juxtaposed to its regular counterpart. Just how you remembered it to be.

‎ ‎

“Where’d you find them?”

‎ ‎

Ying tittered and took out another lemon, setting it alongside the pile of fruit she’d already placed.

‎ ‎

“That’s a secret. Anyhow, I’ll need to fire up the ovens now and call in a few others. I guarantee that…”

‎ ‎

She continued speaking, but you tuned her out in favour of taking in the lemon’s characteristics all over again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen one of those. Heck, it’s been a while since you were even able to stomach thinking about Meyer lemons. But now, sure, they were doing their cursed job of reminding you of Yu, but what chiefly took over your mind was how you’d be able to plant this on your balcony again. The process, the space, all of that previously buried information was now slowly digging itself out. Huh.

A cold sensation on your thumb snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked down to realise that you accidentally dented the skin, deep enough for the juice to spill. You promptly shook your head and went back to work.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

It took a while for you to finally clean out all of the pots and fill them with their respective soils. And it took an even longer while for you to plant your seeds, organising them outside on the balcony, where there was more room. Your apartment was now slowly growing more and more synonymous with a forest. Plants and bushes everywhere, you swore the air also started to change the more you tended to all of it.

You stood back and proudly dusted off your hands, heaving a tired sigh in the process of catching your breath. Despite the cold temperature that poked at your skin like an army of wasps, you were still heavily sweating, and it felt like your chest was burning.

How the heck did you do this all the time without anyone’s help? You thought, but again, you were more physically capable of things like this given your… erm, better diet and mental state. Better than whatever the heck it was now before Ying convinced you to pick up gardening again. It felt like your muscles had deteriorated after a year of… well, after a year.

Whatever. If there was one thing you were going to do, it’s to return to how you were before Yu left. Maybe even better. And these plants were the first step to getting there. You took the pen and sticky notes set on a table near the corner and began writing. The ice cold temperature of said pen stung your fingers, but it’s not like that stopped you.

‘orange’, and ‘passion fruit’.

But you stopped halfway through writing the word ‘lemon’. You haven’t planted any lemons. In fact, you ran out of pots, as unbelievable as that sounded.

You wanted to plant the lemons right now. No, you needed to. If you don’t start now, how long will it take until you finally get fruit? Besides, Ying’s thirst for fresh fruit wouldn’t be quenched any time soon.

But… there was no room.

…

You sighed, and went back inside. There was one solution in mind. But that solution required a level of bravery you could never hope to achieve. And now that she mentioned it, you could hardly put on the headphones without thinking of Yu. You barely managed to plant those two fruits without being reminded of your parents over and over; how were you supposed to even think of approaching Meyer lemons?

It just seemed too ambitious. It seemed like it was too soon, especially when you were still technically grieving Yu’s disappearance.

But the idea was tempting, to plant the lemons in Yu’s backyard. His house was practically abandoned, right? It wasn’t… occupied. How could you, though? Exploit your boyfriend’s generosity like that? Not only his generosity, but for sharing something so vulnerable with you, only to be used for your own selfish goals when he wasn’t around to–

Your thoughts were interrupted once the music in your ears paused in favour of the ringtone that began playing. Someone was calling. And you rushed to your phone on the other side of the balcony, checking the name.

Ying.

Why would she be calling you today? At night?Nevertheless, you answered and pocketed the device.

‎ ‎

“Hello?”

‎ ‎

“Good evening!”

‎ ‎

You immediately flinched at the sound of multiple plates clanking against each other. That wasn’t to mention the people speaking loudly in the background. Though far away and, quite frankly, muffled, you were too used to the serene ambient playlist you had going.

‎ ‎

"Ying, it's ten. Why're you still at work?"

‎ ‎

"You should've seen it, Y/N! People went crazy over the pastries, they– they think I put some kind of secret ingredient in there! No, in fact, they actively avoided the store-bought passion fruit; they wanted yours!" She excitedly laughed to herself. "Can you believe it? I never thought using fresh fruit could have such an effect!"

‎ ‎

You ran your fingers through your messy hair, unable to hold back the smirk that painted your features.

‎ ‎

"No kidding."

‎ ‎

"I'll give you a cut of it this month. But we're only a few sales shy of purchasing that painting! What would I do without you, Y/N?"

‎ ‎

She let out a content sigh. You noted the unwavering excitement in her voice. Heck, you even knew that her cheeks were currently twisting to accommodate a wide smile despite being on the other side of the phone. But she kept the volume of her voice low, almost as if she were holding herself back in order to maintain her air of professionalism, or whatever.

But…

‎ ‎

“Ying. We need to talk.”

‎ ‎

“Wait, just one second.”

‎ ‎

Ying muted her microphone before you could tell her about what ran through your mind. And the doubt grew the more seconds that passed. Should you really tell her what was going on, or should you just deal with it alone?

Your heart jumped out of your chest once you heard an audible thud from behind you, quickly turning to see what the noise was. But you immediately calmed down the moment you recognised the wrinkly lump that sat on the ground, barely reflecting the light off of its thick purple skin.

It was a passion fruit from the tree. You… missed one.

Ying then unmuted, snatching your attention with ease.

‎ ‎

“I’m sorry, what were we saying?”

‎ ‎

"Something about a painting. Look, there’s something important..." you glanced at the other pots as you leaned on the wall behind you, "Ying, there's no more room."

‎ ‎

"Huh? For the plants?"

‎ ‎

"Yes. My balcony is full, and I ran out of pots."

‎ ‎

"I see... And buying a new pot is not an option, is it?"

‎ ‎

"No."

‎ ‎

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

‎ ‎

"I– I have a solution in mind, but it's hard to swallow."

‎ ‎

Your voice shifted to a hushed whisper towards the end of that sentence, and the despondency hit you like a truck. Was this even a good idea? Was telling her a good idea? What if she shuns you for such a thing?

‎ ‎

"What is it?"

‎ ‎

Silence settled for a moment, before you finally gathered the remnants of courage you had and spoke up.

‎ ‎

"I'm..." you started, "I'm thinking of planting the lemons in his house. In his… backyard"

‎ ‎

...

‎ ‎

"His... house?"

‎ ‎

"Yes."

‎ ‎

Crap. The silence must be indicative of shock; she must be disgusted by this selfish idea, just like you were. This was the exact reaction you were afraid o–

‎ ‎

"Ah, that's a great idea! I assume you visited his house before; do you still have the keys?"

‎ ‎

"I do. He gave them to me."

‎ ‎

"Perfect, then yes, I think you should do it!"

‎ ‎

Ying cried out in excitement, all of the professionalism she feigned melting like ice cream on a hot summer day, all because of you. Presumably in public, considering the bustling you still heard from the other side.

So much for maintaining her mellowness…

‎ ‎

"Yu told me once about how dead his house felt, no matter what he’d do. This could be the most ideal solution to that!"

‎ ‎

"In what way is that the solution?"

‎ ‎

You said with a wry laugh as you opened the door and went back inside, but Ying wasn't bothered by your pessimism whatsoever.

‎ ‎

"Because gardening is the perfect contrast to death!"

‎ ‎

...

‎ ‎

"Pardon?"

‎ ‎

"When you strip down all of the complicated details, gardening is technically giving life to an inanimate object, Y/N! You take a seed, something no different from a– a rock– a pebble, and nurture it. You turn it into a tree, and it's amazing! It's an extraordinary process!"

‎ ‎

You were expecting her to mention the still air, how having plants there would freshen it up, or the fact that his house was generally abandoned and it would be more beneficial to just use it, but this wasn’t what was in your mind.

‎ ‎

"...Ying, look, I respect your fascination with philosophy, but this is–"

‎ ‎

"Not only that, but a tree is a being that benefits everything around it. It– it replaces the oxygen, it bears fruit, and it returns what it has taken from its environment!"

‎ ‎

"Ying."

‎ ‎

"Think about it! When you picture a ghost town, what comes to mind? Now imagine that ghost town with a touch of mother nature. Fascinating, right?"

‎ ‎

Oh my god.

She seemed far too swept away with this topic, as if these thoughts had been festering in her head for the past few months with no outlet... until you came into the picture. Wait just a second, was this why she wanted you to go back to gardening? Or maybe you were just overthinking things.

Your words, however, fell on deaf ears as you tried to drag her back down to reality.

‎ ‎

"I think you should understand how valuable gardening is, Y/N–"

‎ ‎

"Ying!"

‎ ‎

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I–" She tittered, clearly embarrassed. "I must've gotten carried away."

‎ ‎

“It’s fine.”

‎ ‎

She already sounded cheesy throughout this entire ordeal, but this was starting to get out of hand. You sighed, unable to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot as you stared out the window, observing a family of three hopping on a bus.

In fact, it wasn't too far-fetched to assume that Ying had a high opinion of you for your gardening just as Yu did this whole time, and she was indirectly telling you now. What else could possibly explain this random tangent?

…An idea promptly popped up.

‎ ‎

"Look, Ying, I have to go. I need to… do something."

‎ ‎

You immediately stood up from the couch and left to take out the sealed bag full of seeds stashed deep within the kitchen’s cupboards.

‎ ‎

“Do something?”

‎ ‎

"I'll ring you up later. We'll keep talking about this on Monday."

‎ ‎

All Ying did was successfully add on to your confusion for the past few minutes, sure, but maybe she also ignited a bit of inspiration in you, given what you were doing. Then, you turned and grabbed a few keys from your drawers, shoving them in the pockets of the thick coat you were about to wear.

‎ ‎

"Oh, I see. I’ll let you do whatever it is you want to do. And if you’d like any help, I’m one text away."

‎ ‎

Despite being on the other side of the phone, you could feel a misplaced cheeky grin force itself on her face. One that, as opposed to the merry and artless one from before, would absolutely look weird on someone as mature and mellow as her. Well, as mellow as she tried to be. She just couldn’t hold back around you, for some reason.

But it still seems like she caught on.

‎ ‎

“Break a leg out there."

‎ ‎

And with that, you closed the call and pocketed your phone, rushing down the flight of stairs. Only two more minutes until the specific bus you aimed for would arrive, and you did not want to miss it, that’s for sure.

Ying's little tangent was so incredibly cloying, it nearly gave you a headache by the end of it. She spoke like a mum who watched way too many soppy movies from the 90's... Well, you might've caught her recommending a few to your co-workers.

But it may have been exactly what you needed to get you on your feet. You were going to plant those seeds. And in her words, 'bring life back' to that house. You weren’t going to allow the pessimistic side of you convince you otherwise.

Now that you weren't in on call, you were free to take out one earbud and play music once more whilst you ran towards the closed gates.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Winter, two and a half years ago.

‎ ‎

Even after a considerable amount of time had passed, Yu’s house remained just as empty as when you first visited it. ‘It’s because I moved most of my stuff to your apartment!’ he explained when you questioned him on it. But if that were the case, why were most of them blankets? Even the bloody misters he brought along were purchased from the stores situated outside of your complex.

Oh, who were you kidding? It was on par for someone like him to own only heaps of blankets and hoodies.

And even though this was your second time visiting it, the place felt lonelier than before, for some reason. The rooms felt vast, despite how tiny they really were. Mostly thanks to the echo and the lack of furniture, but that’s by the by. And that wasn’t to mention the photos strewn around the walls. More specifically, the family photos. They left an impact on you despite being few and far between.

‎ ‎

Across the living room was an arched doorway that led to what would’ve looked like a black hole had it not been for the sunlight. That’s where you two stopped whilst Yu was fiddling with his keys. And instead of letting yourself in, you allowed the dark patterned wall to lead you to something you probably shouldn’t have found so interesting.

Hung above the fireplace was a picture you could hardly see thanks to the dim colour scheme that blended in with the surrounding darkness. Nevertheless, you still managed to outline two specks of purple on a toddler’s eyes, surrounded by stunning green foliage and the Russian violet coat of a woman who carried him.

It was… Yu. Being held by, presumably, his mother. Or his grandmother; it was hard to tell. Who knew he looked like such a cute baby? Also, how the heck did his round cheeks morph into the slick jawline he has right now?

‎ ‎

“Remember how you showed me your balcony a while ago?” Yu’s voice swiftly snatched your attention, “I’d like to show you something in return.”

‎ ‎

“What is it?”

‎ ‎

He moved down the short hallway and opened a cherry door to his left, his steps muffled by the crimson carpet flooring.

‎ ‎

“I left a few keys in my bedroom, can you get them while I go to– uh, while I… do something?”

‎ ‎

He looked at you with an innocent smile, awaiting an answer. Just like the painting, his bright eyes brilliantly shimmered in the darkness. In fact, now that you’ve seen him as a baby, it became harder and harder to resist saying yes.

‎ ‎

“I'll be back.”

‎ ‎

And with that, you moved to his vacant bedroom.

Though there were bedsheets, the bed still lacked a blanket. Which, to be fair, should be expected at this point. Once you flicked the light switch, you promptly took off your shoes and stepped on the large patterned rug, nearing the dusty furniture.

Incidentally, the patterns didn’t fit his style, now that you thought about it. In fact, the entire house looked like it was decorated by someone older. Much, much older. And Yu was way too dorky to fit that criteria. But whatever.

Searching was easy at best, especially since most of the drawers on the vanity table were empty. Within a few picoseconds of opening and slamming them, you were done, and had already moved on to the closet that harboured a few hoodies at best. Where the heck was the key? ‎ ‎

“Yu, where is it?”

‎ ‎

You called out, your voice echoing through the house. And it took only a few seconds before he shouted his response from what seemed to be… outside?

‎ ‎

“On the bedside table, it should be on the right!”

‎ ‎

You sighed and moved to the one on the right.

But just as you pulled the drawer back, you heard a large gust of wind billow through the house. Accompanying that wind was a cold sensation that forced you to shiver as you searched.

‎ ‎

“What’re you doing out there, Yu?”

‎ ‎

The moment you slammed the drawer shut, he presumably closed the door as well and prevented the air from further entering.

‎ ‎

“Nothing! I’ll show you when you’re back.”

‎ ‎

‘When you’re back’, huh? Jeez, you weren’t sure whether he was preparing something cute or trying to stop a disaster from happening.

‎ ‎

“Careful. You have no idea how high my expectations are getting.”

‎ ‎

He responded with a barely audible chuckle, and your cold heart just about melted. Since the top was empty, you pulled back the bottom drawer instead. However, just as your eyes settled on the objects inside, your mind went blank.

A medallion glimmered under the weak lights above you. And despite the darkness, you could outline an hourglass symbol etched onto the reflective object. But that wasn’t what concerned you. What concerned you was the gun that sat right next to it.

Why was there a gun?

‎ ‎

“Did you find it?”

‎ ‎

You jumped and shut the drawer, turning to see him standing behind you.

‎ ‎

“Uh– no, no I haven’t.”

‎ ‎

“Really? I know I put it there.”

‎ ‎

Within a few steps, Yu already found himself right next to you, and he pulled the first drawer open, grabbing the keys that were concealed by the sharp shadows.

‎ ‎

“Here it is. It must’ve been the lights.”

‎ ‎

“I… guess it was.”

‎ ‎

There was a gun in the bottom drawer.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay? You look pale.”

‎ ‎

He cupped your cheek in his hand, wiping away a bead of sweat with his thumb. Just as he did that, however, you quickly broke the embrace and took a step back.

‎ ‎

“Yes, I’m fine. I just need some air.”

‎ ‎

He was surprised. That much, you could tell.

‎ ‎

“Oh… Okay, follow me.”

‎ ‎

He promptly led you outside and took a sharp turn to the right, leading you towards a section of the house you haven’t explored yet. But that didn’t concern you. Instead, you kept your eyes on the ground as you followed him, unable to control the questions that took over you. Why would there be a gun in his bedroom? Should you bring it up? And what about that medallion? It was next to the weapon…

Okay, maybe you were overthinking things. It could be some band, or something. Maybe the gun was fake. Heck, maybe you didn’t see a gun at all. Maybe you were–

‎ ‎

“Here, you’ll need this.”

‎ ‎

Your thoughts were knocked out of your head once you saw Yu grab something from the nearby wall and hold it up to you.

Turns out it was a robe. He took it from the nearby coat stand. Long and soft, its pristine beige tufts were highlighted by the sunlight. It was only once your eyes settled on the wooden double doors did you realise that he planned on taking you outside…

Oh.

‎ ‎

“You have a backyard?”

‎ ‎

“Mhm.”

‎ ‎

He draped the robe over you, allowing the thin yet warm material to enfold and protect you from the oncoming wave of cold. Then, he opened the door and let in even more sunlight.

You stepped out and observed the area around you. Closed off by a fence of stone, heaven itself stood before you… if it weren’t drowning in snow. Thanks to the winter season, what would’ve been a stunning tree was instead a massive dead log that barely held itself, its branches protruding outwards in a sickly manner.

You took a few steps forward as you took in the place, allowing the fresh air to fill your lungs.

‎ ‎

“If I were you, I’d only leave this place in the winter.”

‎ ‎

“And let your fruit die?”

‎ ‎

You stopped, taking a moment to process how that related to the current conversation. And it only took a few seconds for it to click.

‎ ‎

“Is that your way of inviting me to plant here?”

‎ ‎

He shrugged innocently.

‎ ‎

“You said it. Not me.”

‎ ‎

You smiled and allowed him to pull you into a hug, your head pressing up against his chest. Despite the misapprehension that he was, ahem, ‘subtle’, he was the exact opposite.

‎ ‎

“Shouldn’t you build a swimming pool here? For summer…”

‎ ‎

“Hmm. That’s an idea.”

‎ ‎

He thoughtfully mumbled to himself, before something else caught your attention. The hoodie that he wore was loose, now that he had taken off his jacket and scarf. It revealed a good portion of his neck.

However, before you could point this out, he pulled away and spoke up once more.

‎ ‎

“I don’t like spending too much time here, to be honest. Too many… uh, memories. But maybe…” he weakly smiled, “maybe you’ll find this place more useful than I ever could.”

‎ ‎

With his hands in yours, you felt an unfamiliar texture on your palm. It was only when he pulled away that you realised that he had given you the two keys from the bedroom drawer.

‎ ‎

“These are the spare keys. You gave me yours; it’s… only fair I give you mine.”

‎ ‎

You stared at him in silence, the ice cold metal settling in the warm palm of your hand. But instead of feeling some sort of joy, you felt your stomach churn at the thought of the gun.

Even without said gun to cloud your mind, you had no idea how to feel about this. Should you be happy, sad, or relieved? How did he feel when you gave him your keys? It was as if you were unappreciative of anything he did, like sadness was the only thing your mind knew how to feel. And that wasn’t what you–

His hand landed on your shoulder, snapping you out of your panicked frenzy.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay?”

‎ ‎

You sighed.

‎ ‎

“Yu, I–”

‎ ‎

You were torn between asking him about the gun and admitting how you felt. Either way, it was a lose-lose dichotomy.

…

You grabbed his hand, fingers interlocked like two puzzle pieces connecting.

‎ ‎

“You’re cold.”

‎ ‎

“Hm?”

‎ ‎

If you were stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, you might as well dig yourself out, right? And that’s what you did.

You pocketed the keys, then held his hand in both of yours to check his temperature. And you were right; he was starting to get cold. Very cold.

‎ ‎

“It– it’s not that bad, Y/N. Really. The hoodie is warm enough.”

‎ ‎

“Don’t start with that. You’ll get a fever.”

‎ ‎

A misplaced grin painted his features.

‎ ‎

“Really?”

‎ ‎

You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer.

‎ ‎

“Shut up and come here.”

‎ ‎

Yu lightly laughed as you wrapped the soft robe around him, bringing him to you to share your warmth. Of course the thought of you nursing him back to health was tempting to him. Knowing how cheesy he was, you’d have to be watchful so that he wouldn’t orchestrate something like that.

With his arm around your shoulder, you took out the keys again, sombrely observing their shape.

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portraitsofguilt · 2 years ago

Text

✮ ┆ keeping up appearances with sage !

a/n I just love making up shits like this, a mini series that i am starting now and

cw for MDNI, nsfw content, female bodied reader, clothed sex, office sex ( with door not locked ), fingering, mention of jett, (cross-posted on ao3)

your head was throbbing, the small letters and the bright lights putting a strain on both your brain and eyes as you struggled to fill out the report card for the last mission you took part in. there were some complications with killjoy’s tech that caused some problems, but you had no idea how to compose what happened in a professional manner.

you sighed heavily, taking off your glasses and rubbing the bridge of your nose. you couldn’t focus at all. this was a mess; you needed a good rest or something. after a few moments, you groan and slam your hands down on the desk and played with the thought of just giving up and maybe trying again tomorrow. but you were determined to get it done now so you didn't have the same headache you are having right now; you didn’t really have much else to do anyway.

"something on your mind?" the husky, seductive voice of your girlfriend, accompanied by soft footsteps and gentle touches against your shoulders. "just some paperwork I have to finish", you mumble, "need to figure out a way to describe what happened with killjoy's nano..."

"you should take a break, leave it for tomorrow." she sits beside you, placing her chin on your shoulder. "i need to at least have an idea how to write this." you sigh and lean into her touch. it helped soothe the pain away from your temples.

sage hums as her arms wrap around the middle of your torso, her hands running up and down your stomach with touches light as a feather. she kisses behind your ear gently, her breath warm against your skin. you get lost in the tingling sensation of her breath on your neck, so much so that you don't even notice her fingers pushing under the rim of your pants, playing with the button before undoing it. you let out a quiet moan when she slides her hand between your legs, running her finger against your panties slowly and lovingly. you close your eyes, allowing yourself to be consumed by the feeling.

"sage..." you breathily moan as you place your hand on top of hers, through your pants. "no complaining, no resisting." her other hand moves up to your breasts, massaging them softly and teasingly while kissing your skin sweetly. you feel her mouth open slightly, a small smile appearing on her face. you can practically hear her smirking as she continues to massage your breasts, causing you to gasp softly. "yes, just like that, baby," she whispers against your lips, and you can feel her smile grow wider at your reaction.

"the d-door...?" you pant as you feel her fingers pick up a faster pace, pushing your panties between your pussy lips and pressing up against your clit. she chuckles lightly, her fingers now moving your panties to the side then inside you without any hesitance.

"fuck.." she mumbles as she feels your body clenching around her fingers. you throw your head back as you grab onto the edge of your desk tightly. she stops her fingers for a moment before pulling them back out of you quickly, and then thrusts herself back inside, pumping into you forcefully. you can feel the warmth spreading all over your body, a slight pressure building up inside your core. "sage…" you groan loudly, gripping the edge of the desk tighter.

"you need to stop talking or they are gonna catch us." she says quietly, still pushing in and out of you roughly. "so i'll keep going while you try to be quiet, okay?" she asks and pumps her fingers a bit more forcefully than necessary. you feel tears springing up in your eyes and squeeze your eyes shut.

you are just about to give her an answer, or were trying to when a knock on the sliding door interrupted your train of thought.

"y/n, are you in your office?" you heard jett from the other side of the door. a little groan left you, remembering the last time she interrupted the two of you and actually caught a glimpse of you in such a compromising position. you could hardly deny that you enjoyed sharing it with someone that sage was with you in more ways than one but come on.... a little privacy? shouldn't be complaining at all though, she at least knocked this time.

"where are your manners, baobei?" sage whispers in your ear, stopping her long trust and changing it up with short, forced knuckles bumping against your exposed bundle of nerves. you shake your head, humming a no, trying to get her to just let it go and make you cum already.

"y-yes..." your voice shakes a little, but you hope the distance and the thick metal door would help hide your embarrassment from jett who probably just found you in a state of undress. sage chuckles lowly and continues. you try your best to breathe steadily and ignore the slight sting from the pain on your thighs and the fact that you felt your orgasm rising dangerously close to your surface.

"great, i was wondering of how the report was coming along for you because i am struggling big times." she laughs a little, and if her words weren't enough to make you want to bang your head against the wall, her tone definitely did. it was torture and now you couldn't even get away from the situation.

"nothing too concrete, uhm... i'm j-just packing up t-to go." you get the words out somehow with sage's lips kissing along your neck, her two fingers still hardly moving inside you. you feel the wetness dripping from your hole, and you swear you can feel her smiling against your skin.

"alright then, I'll see you at dinner." you heard the fading voice of the young agent and you let out a sigh of relief, not just because now you could be rather loud, but because it meant sage would finally give you what you really wanted. an orgasm.

your muscles contract painfully, and you grit your teeth, feeling your walls tightening around sage's fingers. you feel your eyes roll back and your knees weaken as you feel your orgasm slowly but surely approaching the point where you would explode and release everything you had inside you. you feel your body tense up at the thought, your hips jerking upwards slightly as you reach the high you were so desperate for.

"fuck s-sage, fuck ah!" you curse, head hanging low as a loud cry leaves your lips. sage takes a moment to calm you down, licking her lips in satisfaction. she pulls out of you with a smile, letting all your juices to be soaked up by your panties and pants. you first turn your head to look at her before your body follows, a lustful smirk and red cheeks greet you. she grins widely at you and wraps her arm around your neck, helping you up on the desk. you hug her tightly before sitting up straight and fixing yourself up. "good?" sage asks with a wink, and a playful smile, clearly enjoying making you squirm. you sigh deeply and nod in response as you lay your head on her shoulder, inhaling her in as you enjoy the last few moments of your orgasm.

#📗 — written by moss !#valorant x reader #valorant x reader smut #keeping up appearences #valorant smut #sage x reader #sage x reader smut #sage smut #valorant sage smut #valorant sage x reader #valorant sage x reader smut #ling ying wei x reader #valorant ling ying wei x reader #ling ying wei x reader smut #sage x female reader smut #valorant x female reader

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caramel1mochi · 1 year ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [3]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎

Words: 6k ‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. Also I know I'm late BUT DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VOICE MESSAGE FROM OMEN??‎ Omen's VA decided to casually display pure wrath without even warning us first oh my god ‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day.

‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎

You spent the past thirty minutes standing and harshly scrutinising the plant.

Now, though it had grown into a tree with vines after two months, you noticed something today that made your heart drop. The leaves were starting to curl in an unnatural manner; their edges were dry, they were brown, and there were small holes just barely forming on them. The stalk was beginning to look weak. And though you’d watered it only a day ago, the soil looked drab and grey, as if you had neglected it all this time. It took two months of work only for this to happen.

This sight was… very upsetting to you. But you weren’t exactly sure what to expect. You clenched your fist and heaved a sigh, turning your gaze to the vinyl flooring beneath you.

You’d just gotten back into gardening after so long; why would you expect things to work out on the first try? It took you your entire childhood before you could effortlessly walk back from your balcony with an impressive harvest like you were cutting loaves of bread.

Then a soft voice came up from behind.

‏‏‎ ‎

‘Is it dead?’

‎ ‎

Yu asked. There was a peculiar echo in his words, and you recognised that sound. He wasn’t in the living room; he was on the balcony, where you used to keep your bigger trees before they all died.

‎ ‎‎ ‎

“I… I think so.”

‎ ‎

Despite knowing that he was only an illusion conjured up by your mind for comfort, you still responded. And those were the only words you could muster. But they didn’t match what you said when he actually asked you that question.

‎ ‎

‘I assumed it was. The leaves, they… tipped me off.’

‎ ‎

He said it with an awkward smile, slipping his hands into the deep pockets of his hoodie.

Yu needn’t explain himself. There was no shame in not knowing everything about the world. But for some reason, he felt like he had to with you.

…

‎ ‎

“Stop talking to me.”

‎ ‎

You balled your fists.

Yu was a memory. A distant one. Like everyone else. His responses didn’t match the current situation; they only matched what you said in the past.

Back then, though that day was horrible, it felt like there was a glimmer of hope with him around. Light at the end of the tunnel. Something to keep you going.

But that was before.

You rubbed your forehead and closed your eyes, allowing– heck, even welcoming the sensation of grief so it could envelop you once more. Like the heavy rain of a thunderstorm, it weighed on you, and you were moments away from giving in and laying in your bed for the next few hours.

You weren’t sure why the plant was dead. You watered it, gave it fertiliser, and gave it enough sun, but you just couldn’t figure out why. All of your knowledge of gardening has escaped you. The one simple hobby that was on par with sleep, given how easy it was… Now, all of it was way over your head.

Maybe you shouldn’t have taken Ying’s advice. Maybe you should’ve just accepted that the hobby was a dwindling memory, and you should look into something else or just… I don’t know, give up?

That sounded like the easiest option.

‎ ‎

Then, your phone buzzed in your pocket. The distinct ringtone let you know that it wasn’t just anyone. It was your boss, Ying. It took you a few seconds to pull it out and read the text.

‎ ‎

‘Good evening!’

‎ ‎

She sent an emoji to accompany her chummy text.

‎ ‎

‘How are you?’

‎ ‎

You stared at your phone for a few seconds, not minding the painfully bright light it exuded. So bright, it stood out against your dreary and dim environment. But the thought of adjusting the brightness felt like too much right now.

Though you were online, you didn’t type anything in response. And the very silence tipped her off enough to switch the topic.

‎ ‎

‘How’s the plant? Is everything going okay?’

‎ ‎

Of course. You should’ve expected this.

You weren’t sure why she kept asking about it every other morning when you came to work. Ironically enough, though you didn’t connect the dots, Ying’s questions would remind you to water the plant.

This morning, however, she didn’t ask. So you thought that she was sick of talking about it for two months and simply dropped it. But no, she didn’t grow sick of it. It must’ve just slipped her mind.

And you still felt obligated to tell her the truth, despite the shame.

‎ ‎

‘I think it died’

‎ ‎

She paused for a moment. The dancing dots indicative of her typing weren’t there, and it felt like you could see her shocked face on the other side.

‎ ‎

‘It died?’

‎ ‎

‘How?’

‎ ‎

‘Haven’t you been watering it?’

‎ ‎

You sighed and typed back,

‎ ‎

‘I have’

‎ ‎

‘Did you give it fertiliser like you said?’

‎ ‎

‘I have’

‎ ‎

She paused for a moment.

Ying’s forte wasn’t gardening. Being mentally healthy, she didn’t seek relief from a pit of depression the same way you did, so she could never truly understand how emotionally stricken you were. But she knew that it was great enough for her to take action.

‎ ‎

‘Send me a picture.’

‎ ‎

You heaved a sigh. Then, you opened the camera app and stood up, taking a few steps back to get the whole thing in the frame. Even then, you had to move halfway across the living room to even hope to achieve such a task.

After a few minutes, you sent it and waited for a response.

‎ ‎

‘Ah, that looks bad…’

‎ ‎

‘I’ve never seen anything like this before.’

‎ ‎

You sighed. It felt like you had. But for some reason, despite how often it pushed Yu to the forefront of it, your mind just blocked any information about plants out and avoided it like it was the plague.

‎ ‎

‘Give me a moment. I’ll send something to help you.’

‎ ‎

And with that, she went offline.

You swore you saw a plant get like this before. Once, and you immediately knew how to deal with it. But for the love of God, you couldn’t remember what you did or what plant it was. When did this even happen?Were you dating Yu at the time? Why was it such a distant memory?

You set your phone down in your pocket and stared at the plant once more, struggling to keep your mind from crawling back to where it always went in moments like these. Instead, you strenuously wracked your brain trying to remember.

‎ ‎

The sudden buzz caught you off guard. And you took out your phone to see something that caught you off guard even more. It was an article Ying sent you. An article on…

Pruning.

It was a word you hadn’t heard in years. Did you even know what it meant? You… You used it multiple times before, didn’t you?

Tapping on the article would yield a few answers to your questions. More specifically, on what pruning was and why it’s necessary. But the thing that caught your attention were the pictures. The pictures the author had posted, the tree before it was pruned, looked exactly like yours.

Dry, overloaded with vines wrapped around each other, and dead.

Ying was right... The plant wasn’t dead; these excess branches were just taking up valuable energy and nutrients, only to not give any fruit in return. All of this was salvageable. It can survive. The solution was right there. You just needed your mind to stop blocking everything useful out.

And you needed to prune it all.

‎ ‎

‘Pruning? I… heard of that before, but I never looked into it. It sounds complex.’

‎ ‎

Yu responded to your explanation. And you couldn’t help but huff in anger, quickly turning on your heel.

‎ ‎

“Stop talking to me.”

‎ ‎

You rushed through the living room and towards your bedroom. Then, you stopped in front of a drawer and pulled out a set of shears buried deep within your other abandoned items for your little gardening hobby. It took your fingers a moment to adjust to the proper grip. And once it did, it began to feel natural. Like the very shears were sculpted to fit your hand.

Memories trickled down your mind, and you swore you could recall some more information on growing other fruits you hadn’t ever thought about.

You stood up, then moved back to the living room. And on the way to the tree, you grabbed the nearby lamp and brought it closer towards it, positioning the light above it.

‎ ‎

‘You make it sound so easy.’

‎ ‎

Yu responded with a chuckle. Though he was innocently replying to something you said, it felt like he was laughing at your predicament. And pushing him out was difficult.

You sighed as you stood in front of the plant once more, feeling intimidated. Pruning… was something delicate. One mistake, and you could cut too much or too little of a branch and potentially kill the whole thing.

You didn’t want that to happen. For the love of God, you desperately wanted this one thing you took care of to succeed.

‎ ‎

‘If I may ask… how does it work?’

‎ ‎ His tone bled with worry. Clearly, he didn’t want to come across as a bother. But he didn’t bother you at the time. He didn’t bother you at all. In fact, the thought of showing him your work process again felt exciting.

Now, however, thinking about him was starting to get very debilitating.

You sat down and gently grabbed one branch, carefully isolating it from the others to avoid any possible mistakes. The blades were held mere inches away from your target. You tilted your hand to get the perfect shape, ever so slightly moving it so as to get the perfect and least destructive angle in order to cut this branch off.

Then, with a calculated snip, it came off and fell on your lap. You immediately set it aside and moved on to another, studying the plant over and over to figure out which to cut and which to keep.

Doing this felt so familiar. And even if your memory didn’t serve you well, your intuition did. It felt like your hands were pushing you towards which ones to cut and which ones to keep.

‎ ‎

‘Of course it is.’

‎ ‎

Yu said with a smile. Then, he sat down next to you and watched you work in silence. Both of you knew that– Ugh.

You knew that you’d be sitting there for an hour, at least. But with your inhuman level of patience and desire to keep things precise, it didn’t really bother you. You welcomed the long wait, in fact.

Given your meticulousness, it would take a while for you to prune even one plant. And your back would be aching afterwards. But you didn’t mind. You loved it. Especially the pride you’d feel afterwards.

Even if it was temporary, it took your mind off of things. Thirty minutes in, it did just that, and you had slowly begun to forget what was upsetting you the past few years.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Some time had passed since then. Well, a lot of time, actually. How much, exactly, you weren’t sure, since all of the days started to blend into one neverending afternoon at the café and one long dreadful night in bed with all of Yu’s blankets.

Your morning routine grew quicker and quicker with each passing day. You’d get up, wash up, and rush to care for the plant as fast as possible before leaving. After the debacle that took place a while ago, you were afraid to look at it and find that there was a mistake. So, the solution? Care for it like you normally would. Just… don’t look at it.

Smart, right?

Yeah, no. But you felt lightheaded every time that cursed plant came up in your mind. Even after you spent all of that time pruning it, getting comfortable with its existence was a contingency that would probably remain just that: a contingency. The very thought of it was terrifying, and you’d do anything to get rid of the feeling.

Today was no different.

Your morning routine was complete once you put on your jacket as the final touch for your heavy outfit. Then, you grabbed the mister and headed towards the tree, keeping your eyes on the floor whilst you began misting it.

And within only half a minute, you were already outside, rapidly marching down the staircase without a single glance spared for the plant. You swore you saw some faint purple on it, but you didn’t care. You wanted out and you wanted it now.

Only now did it dawn on you how stupid all of this fear was. Might as well get rid of it, you mused, especially if it was heavily affecting you like this. It’s not like you had any spare brain power for anymore negativity. Right? Yeah, probably not…

‎ ‎

An empty jingle accompanied your entrance. And you walked in to see only an empty counter facing you. You took a second to observe the area, but this and the misplaced silence only confirmed that there was absolutely nobody. Not behind the counter, not on any of the booths near the windows, nowhere.

You couldn’t even hear anything from the back, only the repetitive music that continuously played and the machinery’s repetitive humming.

Where the heck was Ying? Or anyone else, at least? This was the morning shift, and the door was unlocked; it wasn’t far-fetched to believe someone could’ve taken advantage of this and stolen something. Not like the cameras can do much. Unless Ying somehow earned a bunch of money and replaced them with state-of-the-art security cameras… Yeah, that sounds like something she’d do behind your back.

You still never really knew where she or Yu got their money.

‎ ‎

“Ying?”

‎ ‎

You called out worriedly, quickly looking around. Your panic died halfway through once you finally saw a familiar tall woman standing in an unexpected spot; her impressive ponytail allowed you to immediately recognise who it was.

Ying stood between the few dozen tables in the open dining area. Not only was her back turned towards you, but she also had her hands up and formed a shape you couldn’t see from this distance as she stared at an empty spot she created by pushing the nearby furniture away. Tables, chairs, that sort. She was staring at the beige brick wall… for some reason. It sort of concerned you as you walked towards her. The loud clicks of your heavy winter boots were impossible to ignore. Either she did just that, or she was too engrossed in what she was doing to hear you.

You were allowed a wider view once you stopped next to her. And only now did you see the camera shape she formed with her fingers. The potted plant set on the oak table bothered her, and she took a few microsteps back to try and get it out of the ‘frame’.

Then, a car sped by the window from behind, its strong lights forcing your silhouette to conceal her. And that snapped her out of her trance.

‎ ‎

“Ah, Y/N! Good morning.”

‎ ‎

“What’re you doing?”

‎ ‎

“You’ll love this. I saw a painting yesterday and I’d love to hang it here; however, there’s a problem,” she placed one finger on her chin thoughtfully, turning back to the empty part of the wall, “even after I moved our tables, there’s little to no room.”

‎ ‎

“What painting?”

‎ ‎

“Oh, right. One moment.”

‎ ‎

She took out her phone and simply turned it on to show you. It didn’t take long for you to realise it was set as the lockscreen. And it was exactly something you thought Ying would love. A painting with four decorated squares, each square displaying a woman donning a white dress with foliage behind them. The trees bore a variety of different fruit, kinds of trees, even the birds that flew by.

Titled ‘The Seasons’, by Alphonse Mucha, 1896. Not that you knew who that was, but, yeah, sounds about right.

You couldn’t help but smile in amusement as you looked back at her.

‎ ‎

“I’ll need a measuring tape to see if the dimensions match, but isn’t this… controversial?”

‎ ‎

You referred to their thin white dresses. All except for Winter, who had a light cyan cloth wrapped around her figure to protect her from the cold.

‎ ‎

“It was love at first sight, Y/N! I’m not letting this painting go, no matter how expensive it is. Ah, but that’s besides the point.” She pocketed her phone and smiled, beckoning you to follow her. “So, how are you? How’s the tree?”

‎ ‎

You paled as each of you ambled towards the register, your mind immediately thrown back to the discomfort you’d just crawled out of minutes ago. Great. You heaved a sigh and kept your eyes on the chequered ground, glimmering under the sharp lights above you.

‎ ‎

“I… didn’t see it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

‎ ‎

She stopped and looked at you. Though she still carried her chummy smile, you could tell there was an immense amount of confusion just by the tilt of her head.

‎ ‎

“Is it dead?”

‎ ‎

“No. I’m still caring for it. But the thought of it makes me ill.”

‎ ‎

She was visibly relieved.

‎ ‎

“That’s– that’s good! I assumed something worse.”

‎ ‎

It’s not like you really knew whether or not there was something worse. For all you know, it could be dead, and you were just watering what was effectively a withered corpse. But that didn’t really…

‎ ‎

“If you’d like, I can check it for you instead.”

‎ ‎

You were taken by surprise. Had it been anyone else who said this to you, it would’ve been unbelievably patronising.

‎ ‎

“It’s just some dumb tree, Ying. I can check on it myself.”

‎ ‎

“And I can see that it’s very valuable to you. You clearly care about the life of this tree, right? That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

‎ ‎

Just as she finished speaking, the phone from her office loudly began ringing and caught each of you off guard.

‎ ‎

“The choice is yours, but the offer is still open. I’m willing to check it for you.”

‎ ‎

And with that, she immediately turned to the counters and disappeared to her office, leaving you dumbfounded. Whenever you’d wonder why you always forgot that Ying was your boss and not your friend or second mother, you’d be reminded exactly why that habit remained unbroken.

Did she think that the tree stuff was that important to you? Sure, the thought of a blizzard wiping out your complex sounded less intimidating than coming home and seeing that plant dead, but… Huh, maybe she had a point. But you still weren’t up for being doted on like a child.

At the end of the day, it was a tree. You shouldn’t be mentally affected if it did actually get wiped out by something. You should be able to just look at it without your stomach being violently churned and your mind senselessly overreacting to it.

Then, the bell’s familiar jingle snatched your attention, and you immediately turned to see a few customers walking through the double door.

Right, work. Shouldn’t forget that. Not that Ying was very helpful in a task like that. You pushed those thoughts out of your head and prepared yourself to get to take their orders.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Despite how thin the metal frame of the door was, you could still see the reflection it shot back at you, almost like an attempt to mock you. You ignored the fact that you were sweating, even though you were surrounded by snow. And it wasn’t because of the temperature. The frame was there to rudely remind you of that. Plus, your wide eyes were indicative of fear.

Work was over. And you wanted to look at the tree. So, your unrelenting panic left you with no choice but to admit you were terrified.

The prospect of it being dead had grown increasingly possible over the past month. And now, you had to face it. The thought of just calling Ying to take her up on her offer popped up in your mind. Heck, why not take everything you own and move into another complex? It was easier to do. Just as your fingers shakily wrapped around the cold handle, moving out suddenly became incredibly seductive to you.

Then, you sighed and forced yourself inside.

‎ ‎

You threw your heavy jacket on top of the blankets on the sofa, slipped off your boots and moved to the large windows in the living room where the tree resided. The air around you was heavy and added to the tense atmosphere. The lighting? Just as dreadful, and you felt your stomach churn. Throughout the entire path, your gaze remained locked on the floor out of fear.

Why were you so scared? It’s just a stupid tree. Even if it died, it’s not like it would do anything to you physically. You sighed. Why were you so sure it was dead? Why couldn’t you be positive for once? Gah, whatever. Dead or not, you would be the one to deal with the consequences. It wasn’t that hard to toss out the soil and whatever other rubbish there was.

Then, with a deep yet shaky breath, you lifted your chin to see your work. And your eyes widened at the sight.

It flowered. There were flowers on it! A deep shade of purple and a ring of yellow right in the centre. With the corona filaments that protruded from it, it nearly hypnotised you with just one look. You observed the vine and began counting the flowers in excitement.

Two of the flowers were in an interesting position; they sat right next to each other despite being on different vines. And from this angle, it looked like two human eyes. Purple eyes that stared right at you.

You sighed and stood up, a memory popping up in your mind to distract you from that thought. Might as well bring your heater next to it; you remembered that the fruit would ripen quicker that way.

That, and…

Well, you were going to plant the seeds you saved.

‎ ‎

‘How long until the trees bear fruit?’

‎ ‎

The door of the fridge swung open, revealing the bag of seeds you’d saved deep within its empty shelves. Immediately, you took them and left to cut the plastic bag open.

You didn’t want to respond to him. You didn’t want to allow your mind to bring up Yu as a way to deal with everything happening. You already allowed it to put you in a deep pit of depression and convince you that grieving over your parents for decades on end was benefiting you. Yu was a distant memory. He was gone. And that’s a fact.

But really, how many years until passion tree fruits bear fruit? What was it… three years?

Yes, three years. That must be it.

‎ ‎

‘One year? And you… wait for it?’

‎ ‎

He said, amazed at the answer you had given him at the time. Right. One year. Not three. You… must’ve mixed up the passion fruit with some other kind of fruit. Possibly lemons? You weren’t too sure. Then that means that you only had to wait until summer to harvest the fruit. Or autumn. Whenever it was, you were ready. The mere thought of finally getting a harvest after so long made your heart skip a beat in excitement, a feeling you hadn’t had the privilege of experiencing in so long.

‎ ‎

‘I see. And what about this one?’

‎ ‎

You remembered holding his wrist and stopping him from touching the passion fruit that was still stuck on the tree. Then, you explained it to him like he was your junior. You knew that your boyfriend would’ve never dared to pluck anything from your tree without your permission; his intentions were clearly pure, but you still wanted to be clear and let him know.

For one, the skin was smooth. And the smoother the skin, the worse it would taste. In your opinion, anyway. You loved wrinkly passion fruit. And two, the fruit didn’t fall off.

‎ ‎

‘Sorry.’

‎ ‎

Yu sheepishly pulled away, listening to you intricately explain the exact criteria required to be met in order to achieve maximum enjoyment from a passion fruit. Then, you snuck in a sarcastic comment halfway through, earning an even meeker reaction coupled with an awkward laugh.

‎ ‎

‘No, of course not. I don’t think I’d have the time to look after so many plants. Not, not that it’s a bad thing.’

‎ ‎

Ugh. Why were you recalling all of this? You weren’t even responding to the memory at this point, but you swore your words sat at the tip of your tongue. You quickly shoved away a lock of hair from your face, before marching towards your room and making your way towards the balcony.

You hated that these stupid conversations were starting to actually jog your memory.

Just as you opened the door, the cold wind from the outside immediately hit you. The sudden and violent shift in temperature was almost as painful as being kicked by a horse in the abdomen. It was very uncomfortable, sure, and you’d only now remembered that you were only wearing a tank top, but this succeeded in finally interrupting the annoying memory.

So you gritted your teeth and stepped outside with no intention of covering up.

If this was what it took, then so be it. But maybe there was an easier way to block it all out. Like… Like headphones?

No… Too soon, you noted as you wrapped your fingers around one empty pot.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Winter, two years ago.

‎ ‎

Despite dating for however long now, it was still hard to get used to Yu's reluctance to share much of his personal life with you. He never told you where his family was (aside from his grandmother), or where he’d go that was ‘so important’ he couldn’t possibly answer a simple text from you. That, and, you know, he still never told you why his eyes were purple.

You hoped that he’d bring that up, at least, but he never did. Heck, Ying didn’t even mention it once when he got hired, and your co-workers only made an off-handed comment before going on about their day. You thought they were a pair of contacts until you saw him sleep in them. That wasn’t to mention how whenever he’d rub his eyes, said ‘contacts’ were unaffected by such movement. And now that it’s been three years, it felt awkward to ask now.

But when you brought up radiancy being the cause, he immediately shut that thought down.

So you aimed to take things into your own hands. Do something that wasn’t remembering the past, something innocent.

‎ ‎

Yu didn’t hold your hand on the way home today.

Not because he was mad at you or anything. In fact, the ‘home’ you were both headed towards wasn’t your apartment. It wasn’t your apartment at all. For the first time, you were going to check out his house. Which required the both of you to take the bus.

Exciting, right?

And it moved erratically on account of the blizzard that occurred. Even after a week, the ice and mounds of snow on the road still haven’t melted, and Yu knew that clinging onto you like a koala to protect you was a solution that would very much irk you. Even though, admittedly, it probably would’ve been fun for him to do so.

So he had a better idea.

You found yourself in a confined area with a window right next to you and a wall behind you. Yu stood in front of you, one hand on said window and the other firmly clutching the handrail connected to the wall, ‘trapping’ you in order to keep you from falling. This position was both embarrassing and perfect.

Since he loomed over you like a titan, the sunlight highlighted the exact features you needed. And so you stared, scrutinising those mystifying bulbs of purple for an answer whilst he stared at the road you all passed by. And you couldn’t find any hint of brown or black underneath. Heck, even blue or green, whatever. You couldn’t isolate any other colour. All they did was gently reflect the road like a mirror to prove that they were, in fact, naturally purple. As if they were jeering at you for questioning this anomaly.

Yu promptly took notice of your harsh examination after a few minutes, meeting your gaze with an awkward smile.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay?”

‎ ‎

You continued observing for a few seconds before finally caving in and biting the bullet.

‎ ‎

“What colour are your eyes, Yu?”

‎ ‎

He paused for a moment, holding on to the railing once the bus swerved in a dramatic manner. Yu would usually be clueless about most things. But this time, judging by the way his eyes ever so slightly widened, you knew he knew what you meant.

‎ ‎

“Purple, why?”

‎ ‎

You rolled your eyes, the exact reaction he hoped to get out of you.

‎ ‎

“I’m joking, I’m joking. They're actually lilac.”

‎ ‎

“That doesn’t narrow it down either.”

‎ ‎

He couldn’t stifle the chuckle that escaped him. Probably spent a few hours on Google trying to find the shade that matched them just to give it a name, now that you thought about it.

‎ ‎

“No, I mean it. They are purple. You didn’t catch anything weird while you were staring, did you?”

‎ ‎

You crossed your arms, still unconvinced. In what world would purple be a natural colour for a non-radiant? And what you hated more was that it didn’t seem like he was lying about it. So what was the cause?

‎ ‎

“You have naturally purple eyes.”

‎ ‎

“You believe me, don’t you? I’d be shattered if you didn’t.”

‎ ‎

Yu smiled and leaned down to kiss your forehead, attempting (albeit failing) to appeal to your nonexistent emotions. He was endeared by the unamused pout of your lips, only highlighted by the dull expression that you always carried.

But you were even more endeared. Even without the striking eyes he possessed, he looked stunning, especially in this light. Like a painting. Just the way his black hair mimicked brushstrokes, a few clumps of it parted like the tufts of a brush.

You were snapped out of your trance once you felt Yu nuzzle against you like some kind of greedy cat. Because if he couldn’t hold your hand, he had to do something else, huh? You thought.

‎ ‎

“Gosh, Yu, don’t be so soppy out in public. You’ll get eyes on us.”

‎ ‎

He paused for a moment, the dilation of his pupils ever so visible.

‎ ‎

“But we’re already getting stared at.”

‎ ‎

You were confused for a moment. And you didn’t understand what he meant until the bus drove by a massive house, one that exuded a shadow large enough to loom over the entire vehicle for a split second. And in that split second, you caught the reflection of a few people sitting behind you. Just like he said; their eyes were on both of you.

Huh. Oh.

Now that you thought about it, maybe this position was a teensy tiny bit immodest.

‎ ‎

“Not, uh, not that I mind.”

‎ ‎

He added, quickly glancing at the ground. Of course he wouldn’t, he was the one who put you in this predicament in the first place. You couldn’t help but lightly flick the thick red strings on his hoodie with a grin.

‎ ‎

“Cut it out, you doofus. You’re embarrassing me.”

‎ ‎

“But you’re not stopping me.”

‎ ‎

He smiled and leaned down to kiss your forehead again. You couldn’t see anyone’s reflection anymore, but for some reason, you knew this repetitive move only brought more attention.

Despite the potency of the lemon fragrance from here, you still didn’t have any intention to push him away. You couldn’t even deny how cute he was, not with the glimmer in those completely natural purple eyes. But still, you playfully pushed him away a few inches and instead moved your eyes towards the window.

‎ ‎

Then, before another word could be exchanged, the bright text on the screen above changed to the area you were in. Yu, however, was quicker to notice this and used one hand to keep you steady against the wall you leaned on.

‎ ‎

“Watch out; the bus gets unstable here.”

‎ ‎

His words were immediately proven correct the moment the vehicle stopped. And you knew you would’ve probably lost your balance and fallen against him had he not kept you steady against the wall, especially when the few other bystanders were nearly knocked off of their feet.

The urge to insult his route home grew impossible to keep under control. But, again, he was your boyfriend. Should probably be nice.

Once the doors swung open and, once it was deemed safe, he relaxed his grip on you.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay?”

‎ ‎

You responded with a nod, and this only painted a smile on his face.

‎ ‎

“Good. Let’s go.”

‎ ‎

Yu held your wrist and led you out of the bus, holding you close to him. Despite your thick clothes, the moment you stepped on the pavement, the harsh cold from the outside struck you with force. It gave you whiplash, especially compared to the cool temperature of the bus. His tall and broad figure, though, succeeded in protecting most of you from the wind.

Was this what he had to deal with every time he left the bus…? Well, perhaps his thick hoodies did more than cover his impressive form.

Then, just as the bus drove off and the others walked to their own destinations, the both of you began moving towards the house you wondered so much about.

‎ ‎

And it was… super pretty. It nearly matched who he was, now that you thought about it. Humble, sizable, and if it weren’t for a few modern touches to its colour palette and the structure of its roof, it could’ve easily passed for a cottage.

The small front yard was covered in about a foot of snow. You assumed that there was a path underneath that led to the cherry door, one you would’ve been able to see if it weren’t for the bed of snow ruining such a pretty view. Nevertheless, you kept walking alongside him, listening to the quiet crunches of the snow beneath your boots since your headphones were off.

Yu then grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.

‎ ‎

“Be careful. There are steps here.”

‎ ‎

You looked down to see an unassuming mound of snow.

‎ ‎

“Where?”

‎ ‎

To answer your question, he stepped on then pushed it away with his foot, and alas, there was a set of pretty stone steps that led right up to the entrance you eyed earlier. Despite the snow, everything was so pretty. The steps, the yard, the bloody door. In fact, it was starting to get concerning.

Another question popped up in your mind as you took his hand and moved up the stairs.

‎ ‎

“How do you pay for all of this? Does your grandmother help you?”

‎ ‎

You took note of the sudden, awkward silence that filled the air. And it took him a moment to think of what to say to that. Even if it was much easier, even if he’d done much worse, the one thing he couldn’t do was to lie to you.

‎ ‎

“I… have a way.”

‎ ‎

That was all he could muster up. And just the tone let you know that something was wrong.

He began unlocking the door to distract from the tense atmosphere, the surrounding snow only amplifying the rattling of his keys as they rapidly moved. You stared, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, he beat you to it.

‎ ‎

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you.”

‎ ‎

“One day?”

‎ ��

He nodded, but you could sense some reluctance in the movement. Then, the door swung open.

‎ ‎

“There we go. Here, come with me, I’d like to show you something sweet.”

‎ ‎

He held your wrist and immediately brought you inside. With the large entrance that led to the living room sitting right in front of you, your question was knocked right out of your mind, all in favour of finally observing his mysterious home.

The vast living room was brilliantly lit up by the cloudy sky outside. However, it was somewhat empty, minus a few essential things one needed in a house and the massive patterned carpet classified as ‘decoration’. As if he’d just moved into his new home and started making himself comfortable.

If there was one thing consistent about Yu, it would be his abnormality, that’s for sure.

53 notes · View notes

caramel1mochi · 1 year ago

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [2]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Depression and implied suicide ‎ ‎

Words: 4.7k ‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. Also, happy new year!!! 2025 boutta be my year lads

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day.

‎

Sitting on your bed and staring blankly at the wall became one of your top hobbies. And with Yu’s disappearance, with no one left to make you aware as to how fatuous and even harmful this habit was, it only moved up the dwindling list.

In fact, you’d been sitting there and reminiscing for the past five hours. Though you’d usually wear headphones to go along with it, this year, you avoided your earbuds like the plague.

They were tucked away, hidden, collecting dust in your drawer since last winter. And all you had to accompany you as noise were the sounds of the people outside, their chatter muffled by the closed windows. The air was still, your muscles were aching, and your mind was crowded with pessimism.

Losing Yu was almost like the process of losing your parents, minus the denial part of it. There wasn’t one thing in this town that didn’t remind you of him.

The path you took home reminded you of him. The bus he usually took that would pass by you, the blankets, the scent of lemons… Heck, even the rocks he’d kick sometimes whilst you both walked, you swore you saw some of them on the way home today, as if they were jeering at you.

Although Yu helped you somewhat move on from your parents after nearly two decades of grief when you both met, this time, there wasn’t another ‘Yu’ to help you move on from this loss. And you knew Ying wasn’t one to fit this criteria. Not when she was your boss. But… would you even be able to do something like this on your own?

Maybe you were just meant to be alone. Hey, maybe this was your penance for… some wrongdoing you couldn’t think of.

‎

However, whilst you were staring, a sudden rush of adrenaline coursed through your body. And you found yourself passing through your bedroom door in the blink of an eye for no good reason.

You were already in the living room with only a few short steps. And the very sight of the cramped area made your stomach churn. Blankets strewn about on the couch and the two armchairs on each side, the remote on the coffee table that was slightly angled to the left, and the grey tufts of the plain carpet that swayed despondently with each passing second. Nothing had moved, and the only change was the dust that began gathering thanks to the neglect.

Your eyes immediately darted to the corner of the living room, and that simply move answered the question that popped up in your mind.

The plant died. Just as expected. Shrivelled up, starved and dry, its thin branches curled up like the bony fingers of a decade-old corpse.

…

You could already hear Yu in your ear, sensing your grief and looking to cheer you up any way he could. ‘Would you like me to empty that for you?’ he’d say. Then, he’d grab it and take it outside before you’d give him the confirmation, the thought of people judging him not even popping up in his mind.

You were sure he’d then try to convince you that it was okay. It was just one plant, you can always replace it. Besides, houseplants weren’t your specialty, were they?

How sweet of him, you thought. Lying and doing anything to spare your feelings.

You then felt a pang of shame. Aside from work, you hadn’t done anything today. What would Yu say about that? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be something pleasing to hear, that’s for sure. You might as well do something productive and empty the thing. Declutter a bit. Besides, your muscles were starting to ache from staying still for too long.

‎

You grabbed the maroon pot by the rim on each side. Then, with a deep breath, you began pulling it back, using all of your remaining strength to move it outside of the living room without dropping any of the dirt inside. God knows you wouldn’t find the willpower to clean that up, you already used up all of it today back at work and… staying alive in general. But then, another concerning thought popped up in your mind.

If this was how the one houseplant you kept looked like, the thought of what was in the balcony only sent shivers down your spine.

‎

❤ฺ·。

‎

The bell above let out a peculiarly jolly jingle once you swung the door and entered the café for today’s shift. It was a detail you didn't care enough to note, not since you were too focused on letting your eyes get used to the repetitive chequered patterns on the walls and the mind-numbing music that played. That, combined with the dull morning that hardly differed from the others, you didn’t even realise you slid out of bed today.

However, it wasn’t until Ying’s voice immediately filled your ears, her tone pleasantly complementing said bell and snapping you from your half-asleep zombie-like state.

‎

“There you are! How’s my little gardener doing?”

‎

She almost spoke in a musical-like cheerful tone, each word rhythmically leading to the next. Ying stood behind the register with a confident posture. Shoulders back, hands on hips, wide smile, and her ponytail ever so gently swaying with the weak breeze that entered from the nearby window like a particularly shy child.

Even the people outside seemed to share the feeling of gloom you always carried you around. So her attitude weirded you out for a second, especially with everything going on, but that’s not what you wanted to ask her about.

‎

“Gardener?”

‎

“Yes! You took the seeds home from yesterday, remember? Ah, now that I mention them…”

‎

Right, the seeds you sealed in a bag and tossed in the back of your fridge. It’s not like you planned on doing anything with them, it was more so done by instinct. You didn’t even know if putting them in the fridge was good for them, you thought as you made your way behind the counter.

‎

“What happened to them, if I may ask?”

‎

She questioned thoughtfully, one finger on her chin. Her tone bore a hint of eagerness only found in her or Yu’s voice. And though it upset you, you worked to not let this sway the conversation.

‎

“I haven’t done anything besides rinse them.”

‎

“I insist you try, Y/N. It could be a productive use of your time!”

‎

It was painfully obvious what she was referring to. And you weren’t amused, despite how subtle she tried to be about it.

‎

“I can hardly keep a potted plant alive, Ying. What makes you think I can get back to something like gardening?”

‎

‘You make it look so easy’ everyone said whenever they used to see you march in with tropical fruit you harvested from the trees on your balcony. But it wasn’t. God knows it wasn’t easy at all.

It took years upon years of practice to get to where you were in terms of knowledge. That, and it only took one loss for you to slip down a hole that forced you to list out reasons as to why you should bother making lunch for the day.

‎

“You did it before, I am highly certain you can do it again. No, in fact, I am confident you can!”

‎

Her eyes sparkled with an inappropriate amount of anticipation. A sparkle that nearly competed with her teal earrings in terms of brightness. Seems like making that juice yesterday set off a bomb of hope inside of her, for some reason. And it didn’t look like she was giving up any time soon.

You held up a hand.

‎

“I appreciate the thought, but–”

‎

“You should do it!”

‎

You jumped once she took your hand in hers, the warmth from her soft skin providing an abundance of comfort.

‎

“I’m not waiting a whole year for a measly harvest of two wrinkly fruits.”

‎

Almost like she didn’t hear you, Ying continued happily letting the words flow out of her mouth.

‎

“There’s a shop nearby that sells garden ready plants. And if I recall correctly, they started selling passion fruit, as well. Perhaps you can give that a try?”

‎

A sigh escaped you. You knew that shop. In what world would a former gardener not know something like that?

But it didn’t seem like she was catching on to your body language, either. You were practically begging to be let go from this conversation and just go to work. The thought of dealing with customers was daunting enough already. However…

Okay, this wasn’t one of your proudest talents, but when reasoning didn’t work, you had another technique on how to make someone as airheaded as Ying shut up. You used it on Yu a lot, after all. But only as a last resort.

‎

“Okay. Fine. I’m convinced. I’ll look into it after work. Alone,”

‎

You counted down for the response you expected from her. And, just as you thought, she lit up at this, grinning widely.

‎

“Tell me how it goes, okay? And– and if you’d like any help, I’ll be one text away.”

‎

“Got it.”

‎

You mumbled and walked past her, finally making your way into the familiar yet very unfriendly arms of the back of the counter, clocking in.

Ugh. ‘I’ll be one text away’, she said. You almost felt guilty. Bosses like Ying were hard to come by. And the fact she even cared about your mental health set her value in stone. Yet here you were, brushing off her attempts to cheer you up.

You pushed away the feelings of guilt. If you were going to feel bad, you weren’t going to do it during work. Maybe when you get back and lie back down.

‎

❤ฺ·。

‎

There was one question you knew Ying most likely wouldn’t have known the answer to whilst she spoke to you about getting back to gardening.

Who bloody cares?

Really, who cared whether or not you went back to gardening? And even if you did, what would you do with the fruit you’d get? It’s not like baking was a priority for you. You could barely get out of bed on most days, let alone use said harvest to produce some sort of dessert or jam, or whatever. That stuff was complicated.

That, and you hardly visited Yu’s grandmother anymore for her monthly lemon dessert. You couldn’t handle the thought.

But you didn’t ask, mostly because you didn’t really want to upset her. Questions like that were more personal to Ying than they ever were to Yu. You weren’t sure why, but you attributed it to her valuing life to an abnormal degree. And, you know, the philosophy stuff.

You aimed to rush home as soon as you could. Walk down the familiar path, ignore that cursed shop, and just get to bed. It seemed reasonable and quite easy. Like every other day. No, like every day. You were just crawling back to the comfort of lamenting the past, of dreading the future and hating the present.

The routine started to sicken you.

You stopped in the middle of your path. Fists clenched, buried deep within your pockets, and the sweat that dripped down your chin despite the blankets of snow around you only added on to the abundance of discomfort you felt. Then, you turned back and walked towards the shop you worked so hard to ignore just a few moments prior.

‎

You used your spare money to buy a garden ready passion fruit plant. You had no idea why you were doing this. You had no idea why you would waste your money on something so expensive, just for it to probably die because you couldn’t even take care of yourself. Should you be even doing this in the winter? Wasn’t winter notorious for death?

And yet, with all of this, you still walked out with an empty wallet and a plant to care for.

The very thought of getting up every day and having to water it made your stomach churn. But the only bright side was that this thing didn’t remind you of Yu or your parents. It was just some plant, and passion fruit was your favourite fruit. So, grief couldn’t ruin this for you. Right? Yeah, no. Your mother liked passion fruit, as well.

This was going to be more difficult than you imagined it to be. But, to be fair, most things were.

‎

A sigh escaped you as you set the plant inside the vast pot and dumped the extra soil around it. With its roots spread out, it should be safe for it to adapt in this new environment despite the season. However, though you were careful, bits of soil had managed to pour out of the pot and onto the ground whilst you wrapped it around the plant.

You cared for about a few picoseconds, before another thing took over your mind.

With the soil finally surrounding the plant, you dusted your hands off and grabbed the rim of the brown pot on each side. Then, with a huff, you began moving once more. Moving it into the large windows that welcomed the sharp rays of the sun with open arms. Only a few, sure, but they were strong enough and managed to bleed through the blanket of clouds outside.

There should be enough sunlight for it to grow. And now, with water and some fertiliser, it should bear fruit in about a few…

…

You couldn’t really remember. Wait, should you be even using fertiliser…?

Nevertheless, you stood back and admired your work. But instead of feeling pride, all you thought about was how the leaves and branches were long enough to press up against the walls and the curtains, despite how much distance you worked to put in between them. And exhausted was too tame a word to describe what you felt.

It shouldn’t be too much of an issue, the optimistic side of you thought… unless the main branch grows long enough to hit the ceiling.

‎

‘Are you sure there’s enough space?’

‎

Yu asked curiously, earning that same vacant look from you. Though he couldn’t see it since he stood behind you, he knew you long enough to the point that he could sense it through the heavy air.

Ugh.

‎

“I’ll make space.”

‎

You said between gritted teeth, annoyed at your inability to push away his words. Maybe he was the optimistic side of you, sitting in your brain like an annoying wasp that would sting you randomly.

‎

‘You should look into getting a bigger spot.’‎‎‎

‎

‎‎‎‎‎“Not everyone has a lush house all for themselves, Yu–”‎

‎

You turned to angrily face him, but the only thing your eyes landed on were the drab grey walls of your apartment.

Right. Yu wasn’t here. He was gone.

Why did you remember what he used to say? You thought as you nervously faced the plant once more, filling in the empty spots with the surrounding piles of soil.

Maybe it’s because he always stuck to you like a row of ducklings to their mother. Or… you just really missed him. And you wanted to apologise for that burst of anger, even though his presence was just a distant memory. Ugh, whatever.

You forgot about him and your parents while you were moving the pot and the plant. Unfortunately, that short-lived moment of peace immediately faltered once you were done, and you were back to the miserable prison you called a ‘mind’. Maybe this is what happens when you try to get out of your comfort zone. When you try to do something other than lay in bed or mindlessly take customers’ orders like a bloody zombie.

A huff escaped you, and you left to wash your hands. You need to get back to bed pronto. This gardening rubbish wasn’t healthy for you anymore.

‎

❤ฺ·。

‎

Winter, two and a half years ago.

‎

You spent eight hours awake today. But they weren’t really productive by your standards.

Six spent in bed, and two on the couch with Yu’s fingers intertwined with yours. His thumb had been outlining the lines on your palm for so long, it felt like he started digging into your skin. Today was a workday, not a weekday. And neither of you made it to the café for, admittedly, no solid reason. For you, anyway. Your boyfriend probably found a good way to put what happened into words given his impressive eloquence.

‎

Yu waited outside for you by the gate like every other morning. Despite the thicker clothes he wore for today, the temperature still seemed to take its effect on him. Nevertheless, he ignored the lingering cold of the blizzard that had occurred yesterday in favour of accompanying you.

But you didn’t show up. Which was… weird, to say the least. You didn’t mention anything about taking the day off today, and Ying didn’t send him any texts either, so…

He waited and waited. Then, he took out his phone and decided to call you. Once, twice, three times… No answer. Then, he sent a few texts. But still, there was naught of a response from you despite how long he had been standing outside. The cold began stinging the exposed skin of his cheeks and fingers. It felt like pins and needles plunged into him, but in this moment, such discomfort felt frivolous to think about.

The clock struck eight, but you were still nowhere to be seen. And despite the state of your mental health, the contingency of you being late for work was one silly to even consider. So, what on earth was going on?

‎

“What’s the wait for, son? It’s getting cold out here.”

‎

A gravelly voice snapped him from the terror that had been building up, and he looked up to see the security guard standing on the other side of the gate. A cigarette was hung from his lips, the smoke billowing from it complementing the vapour from his mouth as he spoke.

Though they’d never once had a conversation, only throwing glances at each other whenever he’d pass by, waiting outside your complex rendered them both used to the other by now.

Wait, that’s right, Yu thought. He was the security guard.

‎

“Oh, I was just…” he pocketed his phone, “did you see Y/N this morning?”

‎

He took a drag of his cigarette, before leaning on the black gates.

‎

“Nope. Didn’t leave her apartment since yesterday.”

‎

Yu’s heart dropped, and his face blanched.

This worried him. This really worried him. What happened to you? Were you hurt? Did you even wake up today?! What if you…

‎

“What about the cameras?”

‎

The guard shook his head.

‎

“I– I need–” he caught himself and quickly fixed his collar, “thank you, sir. I’ll go check on her.”

‎

His mind wandered to the worst places as pushed past the gates and climbed up the flight of stairs. The guard himself hadn’t seen you since last night, and your lack of presence from the footage only made him assume the worst of the worst. And before he could assume anything else, his mind shut itself down and resorted to taking action, blocking any thoughts from forming thanks to the adrenaline that overtook his blood.

He rushed to your apartment with a spare key you gave him a while ago, brute forcing his way in as fast as possible.

But all within a picosecond, relief filled him at the sight he managed to take in.

He was beyond grateful to find out you were just in bed. Lying down, unmoving, still like a statue. The only hint of life being the subtle rise and fall of your chest. Not that you overslept, or anything, your eyes were open. You just couldn’t move, for some reason.

‎

You blinked, your eyes adjusting to the void of black that sat a few feet away from you. It took a few minutes to realise it was just the television, turned off, showing you your still reflection. Sitting up, you took a deep yet slow breath, allowing your stiff muscles to finally stretch.

‎

“I’m sorry for acting like this, Yu. I'm sorry you… missed your shift because of me.”

‎

Though you kept your gaze on the television, you still managed to catch his meek reaction, using the large upstanding collars of his hoodie to conceal the lower portion of his face.

…

‎

“Don’t… worry about it.”

‎

He muttered after a pause. Judging by the blank look on his face, glassy eyes locked on a random spot on the wall, he still seemed… shocked by the whole ordeal. To put it lightly. And with the purple irises, the surprise stuck out even more, his pupils pinpoint like two distant bullets aimed at you.

You brought yourself closer and pulled him into a weak embrace, sighing deeply. To say guilt enfolded you like a whirlwind would be a vast understatement. And you weren’t really sure how to express it, or how to make it up to him.

You knew that, despite how much of his personal life he kept from you, and despite how stiff his voice was, Yu was still emotionally sensitive. Incredibly sensitive, to a degree someone stoic like you wouldn’t be able to understand. And you weren’t sure how not to let something like this happen again, how not to provoke a level of shock you probably hadn’t experienced in a while.

But it only took a few minutes for an idea to pop up in your mind. It wasn’t much, but you’d rather do something.

‎

“Are you visiting your grandmother this month?”

‎

Yu blinked. It took him a few seconds to comprehend that you’d asked him a question, let alone form a response to it. Was he visiting his…

Oh, right.

‎

“I am.” He met your gaze. “Why?”

‎

“Hang on, I have something that’ll cheer you up.”

‎

Yu watched you stand up and disappear into your room, and such a sudden move was successful in dragging him back down to reality. He thought that you were going to take something from your closet, but the unfamiliar sound of the heavy balcony door swinging open promptly slamming shut made him perk up like a curious cat. Was he finally going to see what you kept on the balcony? Satiate the unstoppable force that was his curiosity, perhaps.

The seconds were counted until you finally made your return. And in your hand was something he never would’ve expected. A lemon. Albeit… small. And round. Yu stared at the golden object on your hand, effortlessly reflecting the sunlight off of it, almost as if to show off how pretty it was to Yu.

He stood up and approached, taking it from your hand. His thumb felt it. And judging by the soft texture, a slight tint of orange in its peel, the ever-so subtle squishiness of it; it was perfect. But that wasn't what took priority in his mind.

‎

“Why do– did you, uh, are there lemons on your balcony, Y/N?”

‎

You couldn’t help but smile at his confusion. Either he was extremely excited at that contingency being true, or he was very dumbfounded. Or, you know, both. Which was understandable, somewhat.

‎

“I keep a lemon tree outside. Doesn’t fit here.”

‎

His eyes glimmered, but the rest of his face remained blank. Yu was delighted at this news. In fact, it answered his question as to why there was a leaf still stuck to its pedicel.

‎

“You have… You grow lemons? In here?”‎

‎

“Did you think I only grew houseplants?”

‎

You gestured to the plant from before, and to say he was simply enamoured by this new piece of information would be a vast understatement.

If it were any other person, Yu wouldn’t have believed them. And it’s not like he was to be blamed. When he put it that way, it sounded preposterous. Growing not only lemons in the winter, but in a cramped apartment, no less. How did you achieve such a thing?!

He looked back at the fruit on his hand.

‎

“This one looks… different.”

‎

You took the lemon from him before his unrelenting inspection would tear the fragile skin open.

‎

“It’s a Meyer lemon, Yu. Quite the small tree. Now come on, I’m going to make a pie with this. There's a bunch more out there, help me harvest them.”

‎ ‎

Then, you turned on your heel and moved towards the balcony where you’d just been.

His admiration for you only grew at that sentence. And eagerly, he followed, ready to shamelessly indulge in his lemon addiction. He was excited. So excited, the events that took place an hour ago felt like they never happened at all.

‎

“Meyer lemon?”

‎

He asked as he followed you to your room. Immediately, he glanced at the windows that would give him a view to your balcony, but they were still concealed by your curtains. And out of respect, he never really dared to peer through them even after you gave him permission to.

‎

“You’ll see.”

‎

You moved towards the balcony and opened the door, Yu tugging on his sleeves so that they’d cover his hands before the air would slam against his skin like a brick. Both of you stepped out, the cold hitting him hardly making a dent in how amazed he was at the sight.

To his right was a string of pots containing pretty trees he’d never seen before, The deep green shade of the leaves contrasted beautifully with the vibrant gold of the fruit, hanging from the branches, almost as if they were eager to be plucked and made into some sort of dessert.

‎

“I wanted to surprise you with a lemon pound cake. But that was before… today.”

‎

You mumbled to yourself as you approached what Yu considered to be a work of art. In fact, how casual you were to this sight only increased his respect for you. You grew this, he thought. All behind his back, in a small apartment, alone. How could he not be amazed?!

If this was what you could do with depression, he could only imagine how much you’d achieve if you had motivation.

‎ ‎

“It’s a cross between lemon and mandarin.”

‎ ‎

He eyed you as you plucked one ripe lemon before tossing it over to him. But you immediately regretted it once you realised he was currently in a state of reverie. However, to your surprise, he caught it impressively fast and began observing it all over again, holding back the urge to bite into it. Not that he wasn’t used to the raw taste of lemons.

‎

“I see. So like a… subspecies?”

‎

You couldn’t help but giggle at this sentence. How was that the conclusion he came to? You thought. But to be fair… it was on brand for him.

‎

“I thought lemons were your favourite fruit. How do you not know this?”

‎

The fact that they originated from China as well.

‎

“I never studied lemons. I only purchase what I think will help.”

‎

“Help?”

‎

Before you could utter this simple question, Yu suddenly pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around you.

‎

“You’re amazing, Y/N. My grandma will love you even more when I tell her about this.”

‎

You were unwittingly slammed cheek-first into his chest, and the sensation was as pleasant as crashing against a brick wall. Right, Yu probably forgot what kind of figure he had.

‎

“Oh I… Thank you.”

‎

A smile painted your features, and you returned the embrace despite the aching on your cheekbone.

Relief filled you. Sure, you had to show him the surprise early, and you weren’t really satisfied with just showing him the row of trees you planted two winters ago, but after today? You were glad you made it up to him. What mattered was that this cursed day would hopefully end on a good note. And the fact that his grandmother would like you if she learned of this hobby? It stood out.

Hey, maybe things were finally looking up, you thought.

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