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serial-designation-jey · 7 months ago

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ALRIGHT YOU GUYS ASKED FOR THIS!

MURDER DRONES INCORRECT QUOTES, 38 PAGES WORTH, THE SHIPS ARE NUZI, DIZZY AND OILROSE. THIS WAS MADE LIKE A WEEK AFTER EPISODE 6 RELEASED. BE PREPARED THIS WILL BE LONG.

**Thad:** We call that a traumatic experience.

**Thad, turning to Uzi:** Not a "bruh moment".

**Thad, turning to J:** Not "sadge".

**Thad, turning to V:** And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

**Lizzy:** *lying down and crying*

**V:** There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?

**V:** Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

**N:** All the time.

**V:** Then you should be used to it by now.

**Uzi:** You need a hobby.

**V:** I have a hobby!

**Uzi:** Fawning over J isn’t a hobby.

**N:** How do you connect with a fictional character?

**Thad:** What?

**Doll:** что? (What?)

**Lizzy:** What?

**Uzi:** *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

**Doll:** Иногда я разговариваю сам с собой без причины. (Sometimes i talk to myself.)

**Doll:** Я тоже! (Me too!)

**Lizzy:** How do I tell Doll that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

**Doll:** Uzi просто сказал: «У меня есть тяга к разрушению», а затем они нагнулись и развязали мой ботинок. (Uzi just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.)

**Uzi:** I will send my army to attack!

**Uzi:** *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

**J:** What kinds of sounds annoy you?

**N:** Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

**J, now interested:** Lets say imaginary.

**N:** Spiders wearing flip-flops.

**Lizzy:** Ow!

**Doll:** В чем дело? (What’s wrong?)

**Lizzy:** I have this weird pain right behind my visor.

**Doll:** Это называется стрессовая головная ��оль. Я получил свой первый, когда мне было четыре года. (It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.)

**N:** J, you’re mean!

**J:** What did you say?

**N:** You heard me!

**J, internally:** And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

**Thad:** Why are you two always out during snowstorms?

**N:** It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of snow.

**Uzi:** V bet me I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but she’s WRONG.

**Doll:** Так когда же мы им расскажем? (So when are we gonna tell them? )

**Lizzy:** Just give her a minute.

**Uzi:** *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

**Lizzy:** Hey! Wanna hear a joke?

**Doll:** Конечно. (Sure.)

**Lizzy:** Your life!

**Doll:** На самом деле моя жизнь — не шутка, шутки имеют смысл. (Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.)

**Lizzy:** Doll, no.

**Tessa:** Keep it running. *Tosses keys over shoulder into empty parking lot.*

*The Squad cleaning up*

**Thad:** Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

**Doll:** Я не был настолько пьян от масла. (I wasn’t that drunk on oil.)

**Lizzy:** You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

**Doll:** ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ ЕСТЬ! (BECAUSE YOU ARE!)

*When a child starts crying in public*

**N:** *tries to make the child laugh*

**Doll:** *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

**Lizzy:** *gives [bad] detailed instructions to the parents*

**Thad:** *cries with the child*

**V:** *ignores the child*

**Uzi:** *is the reason why the child is crying*

**Lizzy:** Why are we friends?

**V:** Poor decisions on your part.

**Uzi:** So, are you two dating now?

**J and V:** Yes.

**Uzi:** Why?

**J:** I happen to find V very appealing.

**Uzi:** Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with V.

**Uzi:** When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “Woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why N made me get tested.

**J:** Is something burning?

**V, leaning seductively on the counter:** Just my desire for you.

**J:** V, the toaster is literally on fire.

**J**: When I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

**N**: What changed?

**J**: Now I know you’re a fake bitch.

**J, passing their phone to N:** I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs.

**N, passing the phone back to J:** I'm passing the phone to my best friend!

**Uzi:** Two brooooos!

**N:** Chillin' in a hot tub!

**Uzi:** Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

**N:**

**Uzi:**

**N:** *tearing up*

**Uzi:** Babe, c'mon...

**N:** AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

**Uzi:** Babe...

**Uzi:** sapnu puaS.

**Thad:** What??

**N:** What language is that?

**Uzi:** Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Uzi was removed from the group chat*

**V:** At this point I have to confess… I started to feel a little bad for Doll. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Doll did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or… perhaps… was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again… all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Doll really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along?

**V:** But then I remembered that Doll ain’t shit, and I got over it!

*Bullying Prevention Day at school*

**Teacher:** Uzi, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?

**Uzi:** Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—

**Teacher:** To write something to your teacher?

**Uzi:** —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always said the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!

**Teacher:** *internal screaming*

**V:** This bloodline ends with me.

**Uzi:** That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

**V:** How’s practice going?

**Lizzy:** Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

**V:** Okay, just don’t get any oil on your clothes.

**Lizzy:** ��you shouldn’t be condoning this.

**V:** Don’t tell me how to live my life.

**Uzi, singing:** I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

**Lizzy:** A mom.

**J:** A better love life.

**V:** Mental stability.

**N:** *clueless* Bagels?

**Doll:** Люди всегда отвергают мои идеи, и мне это надоело. Два предложения, и все всегда кричат: «Какого черта? это незаконно!» и «Ты не можешь этого сделать!��. Мол, давай, дай мне поговорить! (People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “What the fuck? That’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!)

**V:** How was your day, Lizzy?

**Lizzy:** Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.

**V:** Oh? And what does that mean?

**Lizzy:** It means I can't bully Uzi for a whole week.

**V:** J annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow.

**Uzi:** There is nothing special about tomorrow.

**V:** But there is something special about watching the color leave their eyes as panic takes over.

**Lizzy, to Doll:** You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

**Doll:** Не могу поверить, что в моем свидетельстве о рождении написано Ф… (I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... )

**Doll:** ...Как я не родился? (...How did I fail being born?)

**Uzi:** *About to do something incredibly stupid*

**N:** I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

**Doll, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl:** Я убил парня, и мне это понравилось- (I killed a guy, and I liked it- )

**Lizzy, whispering:** Should we call the exorcist?

**Uzi, also singing:** The taste of his cherry chapstick.

**V, appalled:** Call the exorcist.

**Uzi:** Guys… the principal just called—

**Rebecca:** It was Lizzy!

**Lizzy:** It was Braiden!

**Braiden:** It was Thad!

**Thad:** It was me!

**Uzi:** I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

**V:** *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

**J:** You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "Huh.."

**V:** I saw you.

**J:** Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Tessa in a turkey costume.

**N:** Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

**V:** Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Lizzy, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

**N:** You're a bad influence.

**V:** And you don't know your sayings.

**Uzi:** Is stabbing someone immoral?

**Lizzy:** Not if they consent to it.

**V:** Depends on who you’re stabbing.

**N:** YES??!!?

**V:** The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

**Doll:** Хотите чего-нибудь выпить? (Would you like something to drink?) *They open the fridge* У нас есть вода, молоко, сок, тараканы, Докт��р Пеппер- (We have water, milk, juice, cockroaches, Dr. Pepper-)

**Lizzy:** Cockroaches?

**Doll:** Тараканы это тогда. (Cockroaches it is then.)

**Lizzy:** No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of cockroaches*

**V:** How long do you think it'll take?

**J:** I don’t know, three or four.

**Uzi:** Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

**V:** Yeah, maybe five.

**Uzi:** Five what?!

*J Driving and taking V and N along for the ride*

**N:** That's a pothole. To the left!

**J:** Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

**V, sticking their face into the front over the center console:** Cha Cha real smooth.

**J:** I don't think that's how the song goes.

**N, crying and gripping the handle:** Please just take me home.

**J:** Country Roads.

**V:** To the place.

**J and V in unison:** I Belong!

**N, crying harder:** What the fuck?

*J and V are in a mirror maze*

**J, seeing V:** C'mon, you got it! Almost through!

**V:** Oh! I see you! *runs straight into a mirror, shattering it*

**J:** *Cries laughing*

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

**Lizzy:** I love me too.

**V:** Oh no.

**N:** *cries* I love you too.

**Uzi:** Sounds fake, but okay.

**J:** *A flustered mess*

**Thad:** Can I get a refund?

**V:** It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

**Doll:** Я думаю, мой ангел-хранитель пьет. (I think my guardian angel drinks.)

**Thad:** Hey, Lizzy? Can I get some dating advice?

**Lizzy:** Just because I'm with Doll doesn't mean I know how I did it.

**N:** There is no i in happyness…

**J:** There is if you fucking spell it right.

**Uzi:** We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at V’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

**Lizzy:** Would you take a bullet for me?

**Doll:** …да? (...yes?)

*Uzi angrily bursts into the room*

**Lizzy:** *running away* Great, thanks!

**N:** You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

**V, stirring their coffee:** I prefer it with salt.

**Uzi:** Are you okay?

**N, crying:** Yeah, it was just the onions.

**Uzi:** *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to N?

**Thad:** Do you support gay rights?

**Doll:** Я буквально гей. (I’m literally gay.)

**Uzi:** They’re avoiding the question!

**N:** Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

**V:** Please, just say fuck.

**Lizzy:** Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

**Thad:** Eyy, homie!

**Uzi:** But then there's cootie...

**J:** Die.

**Uzi:** Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses? Like if horses weren’t a thing, drones would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

**V:** Elephants.

**Uzi:** Blocked.

**J:** Camels.

**Uzi:** Extra blocked.

**N:** Donkeys.

**Uzi:** Ultra blocked.

**Lizzy:** That dick.

**Uzi:** ...Followed.

**N:** Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute drone but I'm not!

**V:** N, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

**N:** It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

**J:** ...It was a bug.

**N:** It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

**V:** ...

**J:** ...

**N:** Stop looking at me like that!

**Uzi:** I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.

**J:** Aw... that's not true.

**J:** It'd be exactly the same.

**J:** You're not important.

**V, admiring a sleeping J:** You’re so cute.

**J, sleepily:** I could beat your ass.

**V, lovingly:** I know.

**Lizzy:** I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation.

**Thad:** Yeah! We’re cowards!

**Lizzy**: Thad- no.

**V:** Stay foxy.

**J:** Die lonely.

**Lizzy, filling out legal paperwork:** Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

**V:** Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

**J:** I personally was created in a lab.

**Uzi:** I just straight up spawned lol.

**V:** Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

**V:** Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

**Lizzy:** *Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere*

**Doll:** Где ты достала это? (Where did you get that?)

**Lizzy:** My pocket.

**Doll:** Как держать стакан воды в кармане? (How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?)

**Lizzy:** Skills.

**Lizzy:** How are you today?

**Doll:** Пожалуйста, не заставляй меня думать о своей жизни. (Please don’t make me think about my life.)

Here’s a bunch of shipping ones that I got:

**Uzi:** My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.

**N:** *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

**Uzi:** That one. I want that one.

**Uzi:** Hey, J, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

**J:** uh. Yeah. why.

**Uzi:** And you, V?

**V:** Umm... yes?

**Uzi:** Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

**V:** Did she just-

**N:** Are you ready to commit?

**Uzi:** Like a crime or a relationship?

**N:** Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

**Uzi:** You always act stupid.

**Uzi:**

**Uzi:** Wait...

**J:** Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

**V:** Oh. We're going out?

**J:** Wh...

**V:** I want to kiss you.

**J, not paying attention:** What?

**V:** I said if you die, I won't miss you.

**J:** Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

**V:** I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting crazy.

**J:** But you’re always acting crazy?

**V:** ...

**V:** Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

**Doll:** Кем ты хочешь быть на Хэллоуин? (What do you want to be for Halloween?)

**Lizzy:** Yours.

**Doll:** …

**Doll:** …да, это было бы довольно страшно. (…yeah, that would be pretty scary.)

End of MAJOR shipping section

**Thad:** I was arrested for being too cool.

**Lizzy:** The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

**J, when V walks in:** Oh, hey, I'm just storing oil.

**J:** *“accidentally” smacks N in the face with a worker’s arm*

**N:** Anyone wanna play cards?

**J:**Sure, anyone have any poker chips?

**Uzi:** Plus four.

**Thad:** Pikachu, I choose you

**V:** Go fish.

**N:** I meant rummy-

**Random worker drone:** It's gin rummy.

**Uzi:** We’ve got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without

**J:** N, probably.

**J:** I'm sorry please talk to me

**V:**

**J:** Hello? World’s most amazing drone? Sweet Pea? Company assigned partner?

**V:** Don't sweet pea me you stole my bubbles.

**J:** I'm not doing too well.

**V:** Are you okay?

**J:** I have this headache that comes and goes

**N:** *enters the room*

**J:** There it is again!

**J:** I CAN'T DO IT!

**V, laughing:** I CAN'T EITHER!

**J:** I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

**N:** WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

**J:**

**J:** I appreciate it,

**J:** BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

**Doll:** J-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

**Lizzy:** J we gotta-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

**J:** YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

**J, motioning to Uzi:** NOT FUCKING THIS

'Can I copy the homework?'

**N:** I can help you with it!

**Uzi:** Yeah, sure.

**V:** Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

**J:** lol nope.

**Lizzy:** We had homework?

**Doll:** *Read 5:55pm*

**J:** We need to distract these guys **V:** Leave it to me **V:** Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. **Thad, Uzi, and Lizzy:** *Immediately begin arguing* **N, watching in horror:** Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

**V:** Time for plan G. **J:** Don’t you mean plan B? **V:** No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. **Uzi:** What about plan D? **V:** Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. **N:** What about plan E? **V:** I’m hoping not to use it. J dies in plan E. **Uzi:** I like plan E.

**J:** If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. **N:** What if it bites me and it dies!? **V:** Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, N, learn to listen. **Uzi:** What if it bites itself and I die? **N:** That’s voodoo. **Lizzy:** What if it bites me and someone else dies? **J:** That’s correlation, not causation. **Uzi:** What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? **V:** That’s kinky. **J:** Oh my God.

OILROSE SECTION because im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Here's some advice

**V:** I didn't ask for any

**J:** Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

**V:** *Stabs their leg with tail* FUCK!

**J:** Language!

**V:** What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

**J:**

**V:** You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

*J:* You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

**V, drinking toast:** Why do you say that?

**V:** So are we flirting right now?

**J:** I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU??

**V:** That doesn’t answer my question.

**V:** Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

**J:** You and me.

**V, tearing up:** Okay.

**V:** .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (I’M SORRY)

**J:** What's that?

**V:** Remorse code.

**J:** I'm even angrier now.

**V:** Am I in trouble?

**J:** Take a guess.

**V:** No?

**J:** Take another guess.

**J, pointing:** May I sit there?

**V:** That's my lap

**J:** That doesn't answer my question, V.

**V:** English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

**J:** You need to stop.

**J:** *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

**V:** *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

**J:** I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

**V:** It’s not a joke.

**V:** *sniffles*

**V:** I’m a legit snack.

**J, addressing the squad:** And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

**V:** But – that’s just a trash can.

**J:** It sure is!

**J:** Remember when we didn't try to solve all our problems with attempted murder?

**V:** Stop romanticizing the past.

**V:** I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

**J:** I wake up at 4:30 AM

**V:**

**V:** I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

**J:** V...

**V:** Oh no, 'V' in b-flat.

**V:** You're disappointed.

**J:** petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

**V:** Wednesay

**J:** Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

**V:** You love me, right, J?

**J:** Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

*J and V skipping stones on a (frozen) lake*

**J:** It’s such a nice night..

**V, whispering:** Take that you fucking lake

**J:** You're right.

**V:** That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

**J:** Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

**N:** >:O language

**Lizzy:** Yeah watch your fucking language

**V:** OKAY WHO TAUGHT LIZZY THE FUCK WORD?

**Uzi:** 'The fuck word'.

**Thad:** Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

**Lizzy:** Oh my god they censored it

**Uzi:** Say fuck, Thad.

**Lizzy:** Do it, Thad. Say fuck.

**V:** Rules are made to be broken.

**N:** They were made to be followed.Nothing is made to be broken.

**Thad:** Uh, piñatas.

**J:** Glow sticks.

**Uzi:** Karate boards.

**Lizzy:** Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

**V:** Rules.

**N:**

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

**J:** I will not let you down.

**Thad:** Sounds fun.

**V:** K.

**Uzi:** No, I'm fucking not.

**Lizzy:** Do I have to be?

**N:** Please god, I am so tired.

**Lizzy:** What are you talking about N? You love it here!

**N:** I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

**Lizzy:** See, the problem is, V, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

**V:** I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

**V:** I’m so tired.

**Uzi:** Did you get to bed late?

**V:** No.

**Uzi:** Did you do something strenuous?

**V:** No.

**Uzi:** Then why are you tired?

**V:** I’m alive.

**Uzi:** Sounds exhausting.

**V:** You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

**J:** What changed your mind?

**V:** Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

**V:** Are you busy?

**J:** Yes.

**V:** Cool, listen to this...

Somebody stop me im decending into oilrose again

*V recording whilst Lizzy and Uzi are arguing*

**Lizzy:** HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

**V:** *wheezes like a tea kettle*

**J, pulling out a knife:** I'm gonna stab them both.

**Lizzy:** YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?

**Uzi:** It's my favorite movi-

**Lizzy:** SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, UZI!

**Uzi:** I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-

**Lizzy:** GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

**J:** Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

**J:** *glares at N*

**N:** Well, sorry I have morals!

*The Squad's cooking skills*

**Doll:** *master chef*

**Lizzy:** *knows a few recipes*

**Thad:** *can follow instructions on a box*

**Uzi:** *made toast once*

**N:** *banned from the kitchen*

**Lizzy:** Why are you on fire?

**V:** This is just how my day is going.

*Lizzy and Thad are texting*

**Lizzy:** Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

**Thad:** What did they change my name to?

**Lizzy:** Chosen One.

**Thad:** Don’t change it back.

**Lizzy:** BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

**Thad:** I’m the chosen one.

**Lizzy:** In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

**N:** Wasn’t V with you?

**V:** In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

**Uzi:** Go to hell!

**J:** Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

**V, from far away:** Me too!

**Uzi:** Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

**Thad:** Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

**J:** If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, V!

*Neither of them dies*

**V:** …

**J:** …

**V:** So do you wanna talk about somethi-

**J:** No thank you.

**V:** J! I thought you were dead!

**J:** No, just in deep cover.

**V:** ...But it was an open casket.

**J:** It was very deep.

**J:** V, I love you and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?

**Uzi, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that V is sitting atop:** Oh nothing much.

**V:** I love you too :)

**Uzi:** Don’t mansplain this to me!

**J:** Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you!

**Uzi:** …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

**Lizzy:** Who the fuck-

**N:** Language!

**Lizzy:** Whom the fuck-

**N:** No.

**Uzi:** Is J always like this when she loses?

**V:** Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of (year).

**J:** YOU BUMPED THAT TABLE AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

**N, in a high voice, holding Barbie:** Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

**Uzi, in a deep voice, holding Ken:** Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

**V:** What the fuck are you guys doing?

**Uzi:** Playing systemic oppression.

**J:** Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

**V:** The mouth of a jellyfish is also an an*s.

**J:** Stop.

**Lizzy:** ARE YOU-

**Uzi:** Fucking.

**Lizzy:** KIDDING ME?! YOU-

**Uzi:** Fucking.

**Lizzy:** IDIOT!

**Thad:** …What was that?

**Uzi:** V banned Lizzy from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

**Uzi:** I hate you with every inch of my body!

**J:** That’s not a lot of inches.

**Lizzy:** You think you're smarter than everyone else.

**J:** I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

**V:** I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

**Uzi:** I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

**Tessa:** Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are!

**Cyn:** What are you then?

**Tessa:** I'm a Virgo! -fucking dies-

**Lizzy:** She's the girl of my dreams!

**Thad:** You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

**Lizzy:** I have a lot of dreams.

**J:** Why am I the bad guy?

**V:** I don't know, why am I the hot one? We all have our thing.

**N:** Do you always have to attack me with your words?

**J:** Would you prefer me to use a brick?

**Thad:** Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely!

**J:** With NAPALM.

**J:** Hey, wanna go hunt with me?

**V:** You have a gun in your hand. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

**J:** The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

**J:** I will not yield.

**Thad:** What’s it like being tall?

**Uzi:** Is it nice?

**Lizzy:** Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

**N:** We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

**V, trying to comfort J:** What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

**V:** I want to be like a caterpillar.

**Uzi:** Explain.

**V:** Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

**N:** You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

**V:**

**J:** That's just another highlight!

**Doll:** Выйди из моей комнаты (Get out of my room)

**V, standing in the doorway:** I’m not in your room.

**J:** You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.

**V, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced oil:** Sucks to be you.

**J:** I don't know, it's not my cup of oil.

**V:** Well then whose is it?

**J, staring at a cup of oil:** I don't know!

**Doll:** Бро, мне приснилось, что мы поцеловал. (Bro, I had a dream we kissed.)

**Lizzy:** Bro, relax it was just a dream.

**Doll:** Ха, гей, я бы тебя не целовать. (Huh, gay, I wouldn’t kiss you.)

**Lizzy:** You wouldn’t?

**Doll:** Я имею в виду, если ты не хочешь… (I mean, unless you want to-)

**Uzi:** This can’t get any worse. Can it?

**J:** Sure it can - just give me a minute.

**Uzi:** Ew. What kind of tea is this?

**J:** I boiled oil.

**V:** Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

**J:** Yes.

**V:** Which means they like both boys and girls.

**J:** Ye- wait, what-

**Uzi:** V, that's not what bilingual means-

**V:** Shhh, it's okay J. I still love you, girl.

**N and Uzi:** ...

**V:** Full homo.

**Thad:** Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend?

**Lizzy:** Generic excuse.

**Thad:** I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.

**Lizzy:** I can.

**N:** Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?”

**J:** I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

**V:** Truth or dare?

**Lizzy:** Dare.

**V:** I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

**Lizzy:** Hey Uzi?

**Uzi:** Yeah?

**Lizzy:** Can you move? I'm trying to get to Doll.

OILROSE SECTION (again) im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

**V:** Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

**V:** Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

**J:** Okay.

**V:** And make out during the scary parts.

**J:** Th-

**J:** The scary parts.

**J:** Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

**V:** I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

**J:** What- how?

**V:** You’d be like “come with me to hunt… Mrs. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

**J:** *angrily presses V against a wall* WHERE'S MY JCJENSON PENS?!

**V:** ...

**V:** Are we about to kiss-

**J:** Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, V!

**V:** You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

**V:** I love you.

**J, not paying attention:** What was that?

**V:** I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

**V:** You look good in that hoodie.

**J:** You know where else I'd look good?

**V, zero hesitation, without thinking:** My bed.

**J, at the same time:** By your side- wait, what?

**V, throwing their head into J's lap:** Tell me I'm pretty!

**J, lovingly stroking their hair:** You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

**J:** Do you love me?

**V:** We’re literally married.

**J:** Yeah, but as friends or—

**J:** That was so hot, V.

**V:** I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

**J:** I'm so in love with you.

**V:** You got a date yet J?

**J:** No...

**V:** Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

**V:** *seductively takes off glasses*

**V:** Wow...

**J:** *blushes* Haha... what?

**V:** You're really fucking blurry.

**J:** Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your girlfriend?

**V:** Dude- Its satire!

**J:** THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

**V:** Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

**J:** Peonies, why?

**V:**

**J:** Were you going to get me flowers?

**V:**

**J:**

**V:** ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

**J:** BE A BETTER PERSON!

**V:** WHY?!

**J:** BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

**V, to J:** We had a date!

**V:** *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

**V arguing with J:** HOW DO I LOVE YOU?

**J:** NO BUT YOU HA-... you- love me?

**J:** Goodnight to the love of my life, V, and fuck the rest of y'all.

**V:** If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

**N:** If you got arrested what would be the charges?

**Lizzy:** Theft.

**Thad:** Disturbing the peace.

**Uzi:** Aggravated assault.

**J:** Arson.

**V:** All of the above. In that order, probably.

**V:** I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

*V and J playing Minecraft*

**V:** Oh no, oh no, oh no-

**J:** What’s wrong?

**V:** I did a thing.

**J:** *You regret the thing you dID-*

**V:** *screams*

**J:** What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it-

**V:** *screams again*

**J:** If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

**Lizzy:** Ooh, I like your accent, where you from?

**Random Drone:** I am Liberian.

**Lizzy:** Oh, my bad.

**Lizzy, whispering:** I like your accent, where you from?

**V:** Pfft, you should meet J, they're such a tsundere.

**Lizzy:** They... they just stabbed you.

**V:** So cute.

**N:** I think Uzi is in trouble.

**V:** Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

**V:** I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the oil in my body is gone and I die from overheating.

**N:** Are you okay?

**J:** Did you actually just ask them that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

*in a group chat*

**V:** First one to reply is gat.

**V:** *gay

**V:** Wait...

**V, day-dreaming:** When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

**N:** You don't know anything about me!

**J:** I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

**V:** *casually taking four stairs at a time*

**Uzi, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time:** Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

**Doll:** Эй, Лиззи, я нашел паука. Крутой пацан. Спасибо, что ели комаров. (Hey Lizzy, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.)

**Doll:** О нет, куда это пропало? (Oh no, where did it go?)

**Lizzy:** DOLL WHAT THE FUCK?!

**V:** If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate.

**J:** What?

**V:** Good luck.

**J:** Stressed.

**V:** Depressed.

**Uzi:** Possessed.

**Doll:** Одержимый. (Obsessed.)

**Thad:** Impressed.

**N:** Chicken breast.

**Everyone:** ...What?

**N:** I just wanted to join in.

**Uzi:** Do you take constructive criticism?

**J:** No, only cash or credit.

**N:** So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

**V:** We're chopsticks!

**N:** Well... that's cute!

**N:** Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

**J:** No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

**N:** My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

**Thad:** My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

**Uzi:** My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

**Lizzy:** My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

**Uzi:** What's wrong with you?

**J:** Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

**Uzi:** Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

**V:** Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

**N:** It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

**J:** Rock also defeats baby.

**Doll:** Я от природы смешной, потому что моя жизнь — это шутка. (I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.)

**J, making coffee:** This is going to fix everything.

**V:** You know, Uzi, you are the sun in my life.

**Uzi:** Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

**V:** Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

**V:** I’m never donating oil ever again.

**V:** The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another!

**V:** ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

**Tessa:** If we lose, you’re out of the will.

**V:** I was in the will?

**V:** How does one turn their emotions off?

**Uzi:** Okay, so first go to settings.

**Uzi:** I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.

**V:** No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

**Lizzy:** Okay, two person huddle.

**Doll:** Невозможно ютиться вдвоём. Это просто объятия. (You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.)

**V:** Bye J! Bye Uzi! Bye Lizzy! Bye N! Bye J!

**Uzi:** You said ‘bye J’ twice.

**V:** I like J.

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*

**V:** Rude.

**J:** That's fair.

**Uzi:** Not again.

**Lizzy:** Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

**V:** Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

**V:** I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

**J:** V, that's PTSD.

**V:** Well please don’t let J do anything stupid…

**Uzi:** Stupid by my standards or yours?

**V:**

**V:** Stupid by my mother’s standards.

**Uzi:** Smart. J will live longer.

**J:** There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

**V:** I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*

**V:** *walks in and sits on J’s lap*

**The Squad:** …

**N:** Why are you sitting there?

**V:** There were no free seats

**Uzi:** But we made sure there was enough room for-

**J:** *hugs V tightly* There are no free seats.

**V, trying to impress J:** I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

**N:** They turned it off and back on again!

**J:** Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

**J:** Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

**Lizzy:** Truth or dare?

**V:** Truth!

**Lizzy:** Do you-

**J:** I dare you to kiss me.

**V:** *kisses J*

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** They said “truth”, right?

Squad reactions to being called straight:

**V:** The fuck, no I'm not.

**J:** Excuse the hell out of you?

**Lizzy:** Ding dong, you are wrong!

**Thad:** Who told you that? And why did they lie? For i am bi.

**N:** What?

**Doll:** *punches the person*

**Uzi:** At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.

**N:** My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

**Doll:** You’re a horrible person!

**V:** Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

**N:** Don't go to the pod.

**V:** Why?

**N:** I saw a spider.

**V:** Well, did you kill it?

**N:** It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

**V:** My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

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frownyalfred · 1 year ago

Note

you know this thing where almost every comic ever about a nightmare sequence has the wayne's murder as the most ultimate terrible horrendous thing that happened to bruce ever and then have him overcome it in the next comic?

Not that his trauma isn't terrible but I feel like he should have moved on during his time as dick's and jason's guardian/dad and then the next big trauma thing happened. And then he moves on slightly from that and the next big trauma thing happens. And then again. And again.

Sure, his parents are always going to be the first stone for the foundation of his purpose as batman but then other things keep happening and he accumulates more trauma and experiences and those things become part of what batman is too.

I don't mean he should move on because then batman would cease to exist the way he is now, i mean that his main fear and trauma has evolved, and, basically, integrated all the bad things that ever happened to him and people he's close to.

So when he thinks of his parents, he also thinks of what happened to barbara's birth parents and gordon, Dick's parents and jason's parents and tim's parents and clark's parents and so on...

I think that would be more interesting than getting another "oh yeah, look at that. poor batman and his poor parents, one being doomed to watch and two being doomed to get shot. do you feel sad now? you should, just look at his poor parents"

Every worst fear would be different depending on what happened last week, so every nightmare sequence could just focus on the different horrors of being a vigilante.

when, exactly, would you have him "move on"? As in "move on but not really". Their deaths stop being an oppressive force and become a resigned sadness that he accepted a long time ago but also tries to change every day when he steps in front of bullets in alleyways.

Does this make sense???

Yes! I’m glad you brought this up since I actually just finished watching Gen V on prime where they have a very similar fanfiction esque dream sequence in someone’s mind where you see their “most traumatic” experience.

And yeah. While Bruce’s parents’ murders were formative and probably damn near the worst thing that ever happened to him, they happened DECADES ago. Unless he’s actively rehearsing those memories, they are never going to hurt as much as newer, traumatic events.

I know I keep going back to this but someone told me the other day that there’s no worse grief than losing a parent, except losing a child. Bruce LOST Jason, in a highly traumatic and arguably preventable way. Compared to his parents’ death, it was far more visceral and happened to him as an adult fully capable of processing what occurred.

I’m sure some other folks here can come up with other recent events that might pop up in Bruce’s mind other than just Jason’s death.

Bruce is an effective compartmentalizer, but even the most seasoned PTSD pro needs time to repackage and quash traumatic memories.

If a writer or movie dove into Bruce’s mind right after Jason’s death and still went straight to the memory of his parents’ deaths (saved into his mind at a young age) I personally feel like they’re missing the point.

#end rant haha #bruce wayne #batman #dc #thoughts #you’re so right anon #asks #anon #Jason todd #red hood #a death in the family

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serialadoptersbracket · 1 year ago

Text

Round 3, Match 1: Bruce Wayne vs. Pascal

Submitted kids:

Bruce Wayne: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian and Athanasia al Ghul, Cassandra Cain, Jarro, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Terry and Matthew McGinnis, Helena Wayne, Harper and Cullen Row, Duke Thomas (Arguments promised)

Pascal: Village children

Propaganda under the cut!

Bruce Wayne:

1. “Man can't deal with empty nest syndrome and cannot look past an orphan child without adopting them. He takes in Dick when Dick is 12 (he eventually does adopt Dick after Dick is already an adult), after being one of many people to witness Dick's parents die. After Dick went off to do his own thing he met Jason who was living on the streets after his Mom died. After Jason died, Tim shoved his way into Bruce's life saying that Bruce needed a partner in crime solving after Jason's death (Tim still had parents who were alive at this point, they did eventually die and was taken in by Bruce). Cassandra's circumstances I'm not fully clear on but she was raised by her bio dad to be a living weapon and she ran away (from my understanding at least) and Bruce took her in. Duke was taken in after his parents were hospitalized due to a Joker attack and were/are unlikely to recover. Bruce also mentors other children heroes including Barbara Gordon and Stephanie Brown, both are close to his kids and are sometimes seen as under his wing as well, but neither see him as a parent.”

Link to the rest here!

Pascal:

“not putting all of his lore here be of the pg-13 rule but he's this robot who is the sweetest guy imaginable, he is pretty smart cares a lot for his kids (again, cant get TOO into that but he is v/ protective of them) and also is a pacifist who rlly just peace between the androids & machines even tho thats pretty fucking difficult (he even is an ally to the android resistance and trades w/ them frequently!)

from his unit data (because im Bad at describing things lol):

‘A pacifist machine lifeform that despises conflict and strives endlessly for peace with humanity.

This unit possesses incredible intelligence, as well as a deep interest in the history of both humans and machines.’”

#bruce wayne #batman #nier automata #nier pascal #dc comics #nier #batfam #batdad #drakenier #serial adopters bracket #round 3 #tumblr polls #tumblr tournament

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asfaltics · 2 months ago

Text

a sudden rush, which words could never speak

a sudden rush, a something of sound behind me ₁ as though a something of the past ₂ a something of some few dimensions, a span-long ₃ literature or something of that kind ₄ a something of familiar sound ₅ a something of which running water ₆ as fluidity resides in water; a something of nothing ₇ a something of that restlessness, which ₈ curative agency is resolvable into a something of change ₉ a something of life, a speck only; this somewhat about ₁₀ still a something of the day ₁₁ a something of light heart ₁₂ A something of the heaven’s own light, Which words could never speak. ₁₃

—

sources (their respective details at the more’s)

1 conclusion of Gordon Young his four-part story “Sourcery and Everhard,” in Adventure (First August, 1921) / more 2 J. St. Clement [Eliza Cook?], “My Walk to ‘The Office’” (No. vi. and last), in Eliza Cook’s Journal No. 100 (Saturday, March 29, 1851) / more 3 ex The Royall Passing-Bell : Or Davids Summons to the Grave. A Sermon preached (lately) in the Parish-Church of Orchard-Portman in Sommerset. At the Funerall of the most hopefull, and truly-noble, Sr. Hugh Portman, Baronet; the great losse and sorrow both of his name and countrie. By Humphrey Sydenham... (London, 1630) / more 4 Anthony Hope, The Dolly Dialogues (Chicago; ca 1894?; 1890) / more 5 Jane Austen, Persuasion (1818) / more 6 chapter 4, on “Roads,” in The rural economy of the Midland counties; including the management of livestock, in Leicestershire and its environs: together with minutes on agriculture and planting in the district of the Midland Station. By Mr. Marshall. v. 1 (of 2) (London, 1796) / more 7 from Chapter 55 “The Spiritual Sense of the World,” in The Yoga-vásishtha-mahárámáyana of Válmiki, translated from the original Sanskrit by Vihári-lála Mitra; Containing The Nirvána-Prakarana, Uttarádha (Calcutta, 1899) / more 8 “Passages from the Life of Mary Stuart,” The American Monthly Magazine (August 1, 1834) / more 9 David Uwins, A Treatise on those Diseases which Are Either Directly or Indirectly Connected with Indigestion : Comprising a Commentary on the Principal Ailments of Children (London, 1827) / more 10 a ( fortuitous ? ) OCR misread across columns two and three (near top) of page, at “Inaugural Address of the President, Thomas R. Huxley, LL.D., F.R.S., etc., before the British Association for the Advancement of Science,” in Scientific American> (October 8, 1870) / more 11 ex Canto IV, 102-103 of “Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage” in The Works of the Right Hon. Lord Byron, vol. 2 (of 2); (London, 1815) / more 12 ex “The Foundling of Liverpool,” by the author [likely Felix M’Donogh (1768?-1836)] of the Hermit in London, in The Ladies’ Museum “New and improved series” (London; January 1831) / more 13 ex stanza 2 (of 15) in the poem “The Ruin” by “Linus,” in The American Monthly Magazine (August 1, 1834) / more

#a something of #links corrected

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resident-idiot-simp · 8 months ago

Note

How do you think 09 v Reboot MW would fair in the SPN verse?

Would be creatures or hunters?

how’d they react to the characters from SPN and in a fair fight who would win?

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME!

Okay this whole thing is very complicated let's break it down.

First of all I think either could be both depending on the vibe you are going for but here is my first thoughts on it.

22-

Soap: hunter

Ghost: creature (werewolf or vampire maybe)

Gaz: hunter

Price: hunter

09-

Tav: toss up maybe originally Hunter turned creature I want to say vampire..... For Obvious reasons

Riley: creature (I would like to say Wendigo I really would but that might not fit quite in the universe... I'm going to say it anyway)

Roach: creature (Hell maybe he could be a Phoenix that would be very interesting considering they're all dead)

Price: Hunter but like Gordon vibes

React is a good question... There are so many characters I could go on about... Honestly it might be easier to ask about a specific character but I'm just going to do a vague overall. So TFW + Gabriel (because he is the best character)

Sam- He likes all the 22 boys honestly (probably a particular liking in Soap) he probably is just curious about their lives. 09 probably extremely hesitant but even more interested. He hates Price because Price is far too much like John.

Dean- He finds a keen spirit in Ghost and finds Soap fascinating. Hates 09 Price and probably wants to kill Riley. Tav is off-putting and he is confused by Roach and asks him a metric shit ton of questions.

Cas- He really don't care about any of them except for Riley and Roach probably he just wants to understand how they function and why (09) Price isn't dead

Gabriel - He loves the 22 boys and will treat Ghost like a pet. Soap is displeased but can't do shit about it. He finds Soap fun to poke and prod at and likes to call Price a child.

09- He wants to put Riley in a jar and study him. And he is so found of Roach (kindred spirits those two both can't FUCKING DIE) . Tav gets the trickster special because he isn't found of where he is headed and Price is free game to hunt.

(there is more Gabriel because I understand how far better then any other character.)

And in a fight?? That's not really a fair question... Because it's the Winchester's..... They can beat any character in fiction let's be honest here.

Castiel alone bodies. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ BUT I don't think that's the answer you want. So instead let's break it down.

They both have military tactics they are both honed in their craft. Tactics wise I don't know who actually wins It might be a toss-up. Would I like to give it to the Captain? Yes! Would he actually come out on top? I'm not sure.

Fighting wise again toss up they really are evenly matched in my mind.

The thing is the Winchester's have the advantage they know more than any hunter in the world because of the bunker.

If we're not counting just how overpowered the Winchester's are for the numerous reasons they are not only because God made them that powerful. They are honestly two sides of the same coin so I'm the end It might just be a draw ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#call of duty modern warfare #cod modern warfare #john soap mactavish #captain mactavish #09 ghost #simon ghost riley #captain price #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #09 price #09 mactavish #09 soap #Spn #Supernatural #gabriel #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #resi responds

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skellyuniverse · 5 months ago

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I realized that I never introduced my blog or myself. Time to do it.

Hello I am Skelly Universe and this is name I wanna go by. Due to some error I cannot change it. I can be called just Skelly too. I am 22, and a Demigirl (She/Them). And I am Aro-Ace which is important for me to make clear. My main interests: THSC <<< Main theme of my blog Warrior Cats Wings of Fire a bit Minecraft Pokemon And more that are too minor to lost I have my own THSC story called Facing the Future. It follows the Triple Threat ending and is simple Fan-Child story. I don't have it written publically as a fanfic anywhere yet and it will take me ages since I am not a writer, but I do have basica character personalities, designs and interests of characters. My favourite characters are Sven, Dave, Rupert and Thomas (He's oddly cute just like Dave and Charles) but overall I don't have a character I hate. And ELLIE! :D My main ships are: Poly Threat (and any variation of it so Rosemin, Rosevin or Stickvin are ok for me, just no one else. Sorry to those who like Victoria and Charles or Ellie and Dr V) Panprice Curtisson Copperright Macross Earrings x Toby Mac (idk the ship name) Gorgeous Gremlin (Gremlin x Handsom Harold) Feral Three (Poly of Gordon, John and Amelia) Thomas x Geoffrey Snowcap x Icepick Henry Stickman x June July Victoria Gritz x Calvin Bukowski Sam Turner x Konrad Bukowski And probably might develop more I do not hate other ships, but I do sometimes frown and not exactly accept Henry, Ellie or Charles with anyone but themselves. But I won't hate anyone. I do plan to make an Ask Blog about Facing the Future but it depends if people will like the idea (Comments welcome)

Note that I am not Natively English and I have dislexia this is why my text may have errors.

#the henry stickmin collection #facing the future fanstory thsc

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starwriterulia · 9 months ago

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Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon - Chapter 2

SUBJECT MATERIAL WARNINGS FOR THIS FANFICTION ARE INCLUDED IN THE MASTERLIST POST OF MY BLOG AND THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FANFICTION.

Bat dividers by @violetbudd

Creator support banner by @cafekitsune

Latest revision: August 18, 2024. Added "Support your creators by reblogging" banner. Added ⏭️ emoji below end of chapter banner with text explaining its function as a navigational button.

Fandoms: DC Comics, Batfamily, no Batcest, Thalassic Space (OC; takes inspiration The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Assassin's Creed: Black Flag, Silent Hill 2, Silent Hill 3, and other sci-fi, fantasy and horror titles, as well as original concepts, such as the science and lore of the galaxy.)

Chapter Summary: Faith tells more lore to Batman and Robin, and a bit more about herself to the group chat.

[In order of appearance] Characters: Faith Lawson (TBA; self-insert), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Damian Wayne (Robin), Tim Drake (Red Robin), Barbara Gordon (Batgirl), Stephanie Brown (The Spoiler) Dick Grayson (Nightwing).

Word Count: 6744 8381 (July 30 revision) 8303 (August 10 revision)

Content warnings: N/A, unless I've forgotten something while transferring and adding lore. Let me know if I did!

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

"You've got nice, big beds, eh?" Faith said, lifting the blankets and climbing into the bed. Hawkman and Hawkwoman had left the room, leaving Martian Manhunter to sit in front of the monitor to listen.

"Of course." Batman brought the wastebin next to the bed, then sat on the bed while Faith made herself comfortable with the pillows, putting one under her chest.

"I've only got a twin. My apartment is small. One bed, one bath, shared living and dining room with a connected kitchen."

"You live by yourself?"

"Yeah. I have work on Monday."

"Uh-oh."

“It should be fine?” Faith squinted her eyes. "There’s a Scripted event in that, if I leave Earth due to summoning or forced departure to another galaxy, such as Thalassic Space or this galaxy, I duplicate myself once so that I may continue life on Earth. But it might not happen. It's a Suggested Script, really. Not sure if it makes sense, so it’s not confirmed."

"What would it take for it to be confirmed?"

"You could comment on that part under the Unconfirmed Ideas heading of the Thalassic Space Planning document, saying it sounds fine, then I'll move it to its appropriate heading and mark your comment as resolved, and remove your comment. In this case, the heading is About the Great Little Starwriter. Here, I’ll share the TSRPG app with you, send you a friend request, and then a link to the document. It's encrypted and protected by another muse child, Chandra, whose mother is Calliope and father is Michael. Her Dragon Persona is part Android, SOFFFIAA: Simulacra of Friendship for Future Insight and Aspirations. Sophia, spelled with ph, is also the name of one of the Four Legendary Unicorns, and yes, Chandra is the type of person Sophia favours and allows to ride on her." Batman hummed. Faith woke up her phone and did some tapping. "Accept the download, please." Batman looked at his glove.

Thalassic Space Roleplaying Game would like access to your device.

Decline – Accept

"The loading screen of the app will explain its purpose. You can delete it at any time like you would any other mobile app, and you can share it with anyone through the Share button via your Profile with a QR code or device sharing, like I did with you. You’ll have access to all publicly known lore of the galaxy, and what isn’t there is in the Planning Document. You can see the Profiles of your Friends at their respective tab, and review their Health, Magic, Equipment, Status, Abilities, Skills, Personas and Soul Fragments, if any of the latter four Assets are applicable or known to you or your Friends."

"Alright." Batman selected Accept. The download and installation required three seconds. The app's icon was an eight-coloured sigil Batman had never seen before.

Four thick black circles forming a vertical number eight and a horizontal number eight, joined to create four angular teardrop shapes, perhaps better described as leaves, morphing the outward sections of the eights into fan shapes. The upper half of the vertical eight was sky blue, the lower half white; the left half of the horizontal eight was yellow, the right half red. The upper left leaf was emerald green, the upper left peacock or mermaid blue; Batman wasn't one hundred percent sure. The lower left leaf was ice blue, and the lower right leaf was a light red.

"That was very fast." Batman said.

"You don't sleep, and you're at peak physical and mental condition. It was fast for me when Ra's and I were in Platonia because I registered when I started lucid dreaming in the dream world of Thalassic Space at fourteen."

Batman opened the app. The loading screen, seen for ten seconds, displayed a white-blue O-type star that rotated, surrounded by magic circles depicting religious symbols. A blue lotus, a red eternity knot, a purple oak tree, an orange bolt of lightning, a golden eye of Ra, a blue David’s star, a red sigil of Baphomet, and the eight-coloured sigil. The title, in white-blue, read Thalassic Space Roleplaying Game and below it, in white, read:

Serving citizens and visitors with memories and immersive gameplay in the galaxy created post-mortem of "Tony" Richard Lawson in November 2021 by his adoptive daughter, Faith Lawson, the mortal name and memory-bearing soul of the Author of Thalassic Space.

Faith is revered as Ønske Ulia Χαμένος (Chaménos), daughter of Skuld and Víðarr, fostered by Frejya and Freyr, and mentored by Urania and Uriel. Faith, through Ulia, is the Great Little Starwriter of Thalassic Space, and Playwright of the Rondo Theatre in the Dream World on Paper, the dream world of Thalassic Space.

Connection is possible thanks to your knowledge or introduction to the dream world’s mechanics and lore, Thalassic Space’s history, and intention to participate in adventures in the dream world and-or Thalassic Space.

Batman noted the loading was taking longer than the installation.

Verifying files…

Registering user's memory-bearing soul to Santa Claus' Snow Globe Room…

Registering user's magic-bearing spirit or lack thereof to the libraries of the pantheons…

Registering user's physique and attributes…

Creating a personalised Room for user at the Pàrras VLFS Hospital and Hotel…

The app made three jingle bell sounds. Batman was presented with a 3D room suited to his aesthetics with a two-screen monitor computer on a desk, a queen-sized bed, a nightstand, a wardrobe, a vanity desk, a bathroom, and a door with the label (HOLD 3s) Leave planet; Go to Pàrras, planet Youtrnaeyl beneath it. The black UI in the bottom of the screen said Room, Map, Journal, Friends and Party in white text. A pictograph of a camera with a label in white below was at the upper right of the screen. The upper left had a white letter B on a black background for his profile photo. Batman was written above a green bar that read HEALTH that was almost full, a bar beneath that read MAGIC that was a greyish blue and had the words DISABLED at its right end.

"Are you in?" Faith asked.

"Yeah."

"OK, I’ll send a friend request."

Batman received a green notification banner on the app.

Ulia Χαμένος has sent a Friend request! <TAP TO GO>

"Feel free to explore your Profile and App Settings. For example, if you don't want jingle bells, you can change the ringtone, or set it to different levels of vibration, or a tickling sensation on your hand, nose or neck. Your Foes list shouldn't have any information you don’t know to be true. If it does, report it, and SOFFFIAA will purge it, so a paradox doesn’t occur."

Batman tapped the notification and was sent to the Friend Request screen of the Friends tab. He accepted Faith’s request, then backed out. He was in his Profile tab, showing his Health points were 480, 000; a question mark at its right end. Batman tapped it, and the pop-up read:

HEALTH is calculated by multiplying the user's age by 100 thousand, if human and non-magical, 150 thousand if human and magical, 200 thousand if non-human and non-magical, 250 thousand if non-human and magical, plus 1 million per decade if immortal or demi-immortal via demi-demonhood or demi-godhood.

"You came up with all of this too, right?" Batman said, as the game jingled and showed a notification.

Ulia Χαμένος has sent a message. <TAP TO GO>

"Yeah! The logic is supposed to be solid, like well-made video game worlds are." Faith said, while Batman clicked the link. "There's no password, for now."

"Thanks. I'll help you make a password later. But yes, just reading how Health works shows how much thought has been put into this."

"Thank you. You can use your Journal to view your life story as described by an angel, and you can search by date. If you have questions and are uncomfortable with talking to SOFFFIAA, but I'm not nearby, shoot me a message. If you'd prefer to not use the app or it's down for weekly server maintenance for an hour on Sundays at noon PST, my phone number is 778 [XXX-XXXX]."

"Will do. Thanks, Faith."

"You’re welcome!" Faith held her finger down, tapped, exited the app, and clicked to turn off her phone.

Batman’s TSRPG gave him a notification, and he opened the respective document. "By the way, your email for this is hilarious. I know it’s just a bunch of numbers, letters and symbols, but I can’t look at it without thinking how Matt Rose would read it, full send."

"Who’s that?"

"A YouTuber who reads Reddit. He’s British, so it's funnier." Faith started coughing. She heaved and swallowed. "Ew."

"What was the last thing you ate?"

"I tried to eat a banana and apple sauce. Threw it up earlier. Tastes sweet.'

"Lovely."

"I know, right?" Faith giggled.

"I have your tea, Faith." Damian said, not wearing his mask, entering with a teacup and putting it on the nightstand. "It's hot, so be careful."

"Thank you, Damian."

"You’re welcome."

Batman asked, "Faith, what's the eight-coloured sigil?"

"The Double Eight of Thalassic Space. It tells the story of the O-type star's spirit. The white and blue spheres are for the O-type star, and the yellow and red for the G- and M-type stars. The inner leaves are for factions and locations involved in the story: emerald for the Emerald Thieves, who were the elite of the Thieves Guild and returned to greatness during the main novel, mermaid sapphire blue for the merfolk of Thalassic Space, who were corrupted by Nero Poseidon through Nero Dionysus and became the only known sirens in Thalassic Space, ice blue for the Ninth Circle of Inferno, as Lucifer was the one who told Nerobzal about the Door to Platonia and as a reminder of the evil that Kaleido wished to release, and blush red for the blood of the anthropomorphs of Thalassic Space. It's blush red instead of blood to evoke thoughts of gentleness and love after the struggles they faced." Faith said, and picked up the teacup, blowing on its tea. "Any other lore related questions?"

"Where do the Departed come from? You told the ones who were harassing Ra's to return to the Underside."

"Well, then I must explain a Soul Bridge, which Dreamer Mages can access, and sometimes the owner of the Soul Bridge in dreams can too. It's a soul-bound Landmark in the Dream World on Paper, which I think you've the name of heard before." Faith sipped the tea.

"Yes." Said Batman. "Just the name, though."

"It's named so because I had a dream where I saw that I had drawn a simplified version of the three areas of the dream world on paper I had glued to coloured construction paper as a kid, and it blew my friggin' mind." Faith giggled.

"That's cool." Damian said, not doing so well in hiding the tone that showed how he actually felt.

"These areas are: a desert with mountains where there's mines, Egyptian ruins and a massive sinkhole in the dunes, a forested mountainous island with a dojo surrounded by an ocean, and a town with a city within a short distance that is actually Vanderhoof and Prince George, surrounded by a forest." Faith sipped. "Neo Spirits hang from the Suspensions of a Soul Bridge and whisper, speak or sing to the High Mind part of the subconscious, the sky of the dream world, to remind us of dreams, self-love, and good memories, all to make us smile and improve our quality of life. Nero Spirits cling to the Underside of a Soul Bridge and snarl, shout or scream to the Low Mind part of the subconscious to induce of nightmares, such as panic attacks, self-hatred, which can be expressed in many ways, and bad memories, which come from experiences related to the former two aspects." Faith sipped again.

"In the waking world of Thalassic Space, the army of Nero Spirits include the undead, which can take the form of draugr or zombies, and evil vampires, werewolves and sirens, though the latter is quite rare, and I don't think Urania mentioned them as a result. They only appeared because of Nero Dionysus, and they weren't around for long after the events of the main novel." Faith sipped. "Nero Spirits have neon red, orange eyes or yellow to evoke the imagery of fire. If they're toxic, their eyes are neon green, neon blue means electricity, neon purple means corruption of mind and decay of body, and neon pink means nightmares."

"Neo Spirits have pastel, jewel or earth-tone eyes, and depending on what the narration describes that colour as, you can associate the meaning of that rock or plant as relevant to the purpose and sometimes the personality of a Neo Spirit." Faith sipped more. "Both are bound to a Soul Bridge but can be seen in dreams or nightmares, and Neo Spirits can be summoned to the 28 Mansions to provide a source of comfort to a person when they've passed on, and Nero Spirits can be manifested, which is terrible news. Ask me about that later, unless I bring it up naturally through more exposition."

"Will do." Said Batman.

"Any other questions?"

Damian said, "Yeah. Why did you spare Grandfather?"

“If I killed him, he would fight his way out of Inferno, and from Mansion 0 and the 28 Mansions of the Four Symbols of Chinese astrology learn about the existence of the Earth-ruining events he so desperately wants and of the nearest reincarnation Realm, the Realm of Tree Peoples." Faith sipped. "Bartholomew, or maybe Krampus, would seek Ra's and promote him to General, giving Ra's permission to command Nerobzal's army. Ra's would bring them back here, occupy all the heroes, and then, all he would need to do to trigger Red Storm Earth is to cut me with my tooth and dagger, stuff my necklace down my throat or injure my throat with it, and have me fall to my death from at least three stories onto a cluster of manmade or natural spikes and thorns, a death vaguely reminiscent of Sailor Venus from the first season of Sailor Moon. 'Cause you know I gotta shout out the O.M.G." Faith giggled, and sipped.

"Nice." Said Damian. "Uh, nice reference."

"During Red Storm Earth, the 200 Fallen Angels are released from Dudael to kill, burn and rape humans and animals as they please while a rainstorm of black clouds with neon red lightning pours down at all times, and the movement of the Fallen Angels will create hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis and hurricanes. It will last for two days, and then Yahweh will send a massive, fiery planet to reset Earth to the beginning of the first day, but everyone will remember what happened." Faith sipped. "It can be stopped if the Four Legendary Unicorns are summoned from Thalassic Space, their Earthly riders win a race against the Wild Hunt, and brought to resurrect me. They are Bella, who is white with gold in her mane and tail and golden hooves, and she loves people with childish joy and love in their hearts who have forgiven themselves and others who have wronged them and those they love; Sophia, who is a dark liver chestnut with a light chestnut mane and tail with silver hooves, and she loves people who are wise about Earth, oceans and space, and who wish to spread that knowledge and sow inspiration to create a healthier world with the world and our neighbours; Pärla, who is baby blue eyed, her body pearl pink and her mane and tail lavender, is fond of magical people who use their gifts to help others, especially fairies and demigods; last is the stallion, Bedöma, who is black with orange eyes, and a red mane and tail alight with yellow lightning, and he allows heroic people who have never killed a god or fairy or the child of a god or fairy to ride him, but will deny people who have never saved a life."

"If the Four are gathered and I am resurrected in time, the day or days will reverse as if Yahweh had cast the fiery planet onto Earth, saving lives and the planet." Faith said. Batman hummed. "There's a second catastrophe he could cause, but the people in the 28 Mansions would only tell him about Red Storm Earth. Ra's could only find out about the Invitation of Nerobzal from Bartholomew or Krampus."

"Tell us about the Invitation of Nerobzal."

Faith nodded as she sipped. "So, I live as my Ego, as do all people. This is equivalent to a Neo Persona. We all also have a Nero Persona. While Neo Spirits and Nero Spirits are from the Suspensions and Underside of a Soul Bridge, our Neo and Nero Personas are Roles that we can each assume. Like you, as Batman and Robin, are Neo Personas, but Zur-En-Arrh and Robin before you properly settled into the Batfamily, no offense," Damian grunted. "Are examples of Nero Personas."

"These can be dangerous on their own, but at times aren't nearly as dangerous as manifested Nero Spirits. Manifested Neo Spirits are not an issue, unless you're an angel, in which case you expose people to your real form and voice, and that'll fry people's brains and kill them." Faith sipped. "Manifested Nero Spirits torment people’s minds, and their bodies react with seizures or possession by the Nero Spirit, and the possessed may injure themselves or become paralysed and vulnerable to a dark sorcerer, demon, or the manifested Nero Spirit. They’re dangerous, even to gods."

"A Nero Spirit can be manifested by a dark sorcerer through a ritual in which eight buildings containing at least eighty people are set ablaze with the blue fire of Naglfar." Faith sipped. "As the fire kills people, so does the newly spawned Nest of Naamah and its insect demons, which can quickly spread to other buildings if the windows and doors are not sealed or covered by fire. Drown the insect demons with boiling saltwater or burn them until they and the Nest are eliminated. Red fire reminds the demons of the volcano from which Father Dragon was made by the seraphim, and it's not blue, so it does not count towards the fire of the Naglfar. If the insect demons have Nested in a person, death by boiling saltwater or fire is the only mercy and way to prevent further reproduction of the Nest."

"Ew, they nest in people?" Said Damian.

"Uh, think of the fetish. It's like that."

"Ew!"

"Yeah, it felt right to make that creative decision, sorry." Faith sipped.

"No, uh, yeah, it works."

"If the Naglfar fire is not extinguished before the last person in the eight buildings dies, Nerobzal will rise from the ashes of the buildings and laugh, repeating the insanity that Earth felt when he laughed at Emperor Nero’s death. To return Nerobzal to Sagittarius A*, where he was banished to be torn apart for eternity at the end of the main novel, the archangels Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel and the muses they each bore a child with must be summoned by a Jewish man of pure heart, whoi is brave, kind and masculine in all ways applicable to the definition of a man under the eyes of God across all eras of mankind,"

'I immediately know who she thought of, when writing this.' Batman thought.

"And a cultist of Asherah must be present as well. " Faith sipped. "The Jew and the cultitst must each throw a spear, the Jew of lightning and the cultist of ice, into the eyes of Nerobzal. Blinded and frozen by the power of God and Asherah, Nerobzal will retreat for five years, and be unable to be summoned during that time. It’s also written that the person responsible for the ritual will be punished by the archangels, and made to forget all that they know about that night, and all knowledge of Thalassic Space."

"Ah, so that's your plan to remove Ra's' knowledge, as we all know he won't agree to the Departed taking it from him."

"Yes." Faith sighed, and sipped. "I'm sorry, I-I can make another that isn't a disaster, if I have an Editor. Proper noun, he he. Same with words like Landmark, uh, well, you're Batman, you get the idea."

"I do, yeah. Do you have any other ideas to get this out of Ra's' head?"

"Well, I am a wish-granting creation dragon. I dunno if Urania or I told you that, already."

"No, that's actually new information."

"Oh! Well, I accept gifts."

"What gifts do you, sorry, does your Dragon Persona like?"

"Rocks, gemstones, flowers, seeds and saplings, and traditional, performance and digital art."

Batman hummed. "Are you in danger of being killed by Bartholomew again, now that your dragon powers have returned?"

“No, Ra's is the only danger. Bartholomew only wanted to kill me because he's transphobic, and I was with Argophael when he found Argophael."

Damian asked, "Why did you chose to write a story like that?"

"Because too many trans people have died because of awful people, and in fantasy and horror, we get to emphasise and explore different ways to express history and emotions." Faith said. Damian and Batman hummed. "Oh yeah, I should say: if Ra's doesn't want to bother with Platonia, he could travel to Andøya, Norway to find and solve the hidden puzzle to reveal the door to my dragon tomb that the Snow Elves and Astral Giant Elves will have arranged by now. Planet Yotutrnaeyl is just a bigger Earth with magic islands, after all."

Batman asked, "What are the Departed going do with your hair and blood that you gave them?"

"They’ll give to Analise, one of the twin girls of Krampus, to advance Odeya’s strength. She's not evil, she's just a biology girl."

Damian said, "Soooo, what are you going to do when you're not sick?"

"I'll use Platonia after I’m done being sick to get my other Relics and my Costume, unless you want to take me to Norway."

"We'll go to Norway." Batman said.

"Sweet, OK!"

Batman hummed. "You should be proud of Thalassic Space. It's really well done, Faith."

"Yeah, it's really cool." Said Damian.

"Thank you!"

Batman said, "You should try to sleep. I'll read over what’s available in TSRPG and your planning document."

"OK! Goodnight, Bruce. Goodnight to you too, Damian."

"Goodnight, Faith." Batman patted the blanket where her right arm was, then rose and walked to turn off the light.

"Goodnight." Damian said, leaving with his father. Batman closed the door.

"Do you want the app too, so you can read?"

"Sure." Batman interacted with his gauntlet, sending the app to Damian. "Thanks."

"You’re welcome. I'm going to read in the drawing room. I might have a conversation with Watchtower, while I'm in there."

"OK. I’ll be in my bedroom."

"Oh, and you can tell the others about our new member."

"Already?"

"Why do you think she’s unsuitable?"

Two second pause. "You have me there. I have nothing against her."

"Thank you."

"I will add her in the group chat, as well."

"Good idea. Thank you, Damian." Batman said, as Damian reopened the door of the guest bedroom.

"Sorry to bother you."

"No, no, it's fine. What's up?"

"What's your phone number? I'd like to add you to the group chat." Faith gasped with a smile. She repeated her phone number. "Thanks." Faith nodded.

"Um, what's the WiFi name and password? I like to listen to ocean ambience to sleep."

"VKR3L17WE is the name, and TREACLE0743, all caps, no spaces, is the password. That’s T-R-E-A-C-L-E, 0743."

"Thank you."

"Mhm. If you need anything, just text me or Father." Damian told Faith their phone numbers.

"Thank you so much."

"You’re welcome. And don't worry about making a mess. You're sick. You're allowed to be gross." Faith smiled a little. "I will brief the others on what's happened. You can say whatever else you'd like, after that, OK?"

"OK!" Faith said. Damian exited, went to his bedroom, and closed the door. He took off his costume and put on a comfortable shirt and pants. He opened the Batfamily group chat and added Faith to the group.

Damian added Faith Lawson (StarwriterUlia) to the group.

Faith Lawson (StarwriterUlia) changed their display name to Faith.

Damian: Everyone, meet Faith from Earth-33. Grandfather had a naughty dream and wanted her body and power and brought her to Father's mansion to taunt Father, but he cut himself with Faith's dragon tooth so Faith had to come along.

Damian: Some ghouls called Departed seized Grandfather and put him in a room of the domain that Grandfather and Faith used to travel from Earth-33 to here. The Departed harassed him while Faith and Father talked.

Faith: *Room, Domain. Sorry, author things, proper nouns need to be capitalised.

Damian: Yes, thank you.

Damian: Faith opened the door and requested for Platonia to show Grandfather. Faith told him to back off or face her full power later, and that a Departed would come to him after a week of nightmares and offer to take his memories and knowledge of Thalassic Space.

Damian: He won't agree, of course.

Tim: Yeah, no.

Faith: Aaaa, hi!

Tim: Hi Faith, welcome to the Batfam 😇👋

Faith: Thank you!

Faith: But yeah, and because he's a demon, he could not only use Platonia again, the Departed and Umbrella Man will just ignore him. He could go to Mansion 0 and any of the 28 Mansions of the Four Symbols of Chinese astrology, the afterlife of the people of Thalassic Space that has many doors to the afterlife Realms of the real religions that have magic circles surrounding the O-type star of the galaxy, protecting its planets from its massive heat and magic output, and find out about Red Storm Earth and the Invitation of Nerobzal.

Tim: Umbrella Man?

Faith: Do you know the TF2 ARG Project Skybox?

Tim: Oh! Yep.

Faith: Ra's isn’t considered an interloper now. I didn't mention this to Batman, but Ra's was attacked because he *was* an interloper until it realised he was a demon.

Damian: Father will read this too, don't worry.

Faith: OK!

Faith: Anyway, Platonia won't try to devour him again.

Tim: I'm sorry, what's Platonia?

Faith: It's the Navidson hallway from House of Leaves, defined as Julian Barbour's platonia. You summon a Door to Platonia with the door opening ritual seen in MyHouse.wad.

Tim: Ooooh, that's so cool!

Faith: Thanks, I’ve been working on Thalassic Space for four years.

Faith: Ra's could learn everything the public knows and the history of Thalassic Space and me, and the closest Realm in the world of the living is the Realm of Tree Peoples. Bartholomew or Krampus would gladly promote Ra’s to General upon meeting during Ra’s would-be trail of destruction in the Realm of Tree Peoples. Bartholomew is the Ebony Giant Elf who murdered my Dragon Persona, the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon, and my Animus/lover, a trans boy named Argophael who was Bartholomew's eldest triplet and fled from home because of his dad.

Tim: Bartholomew sounds like an evil wizard LOL

Tim: Is Santa evil too?

Faith: Oh yes, he’s a pirate warlock with a serrated black sword of blue Hell fire. That’s what he killed us with, as we enjoyed the night life of the Carnival of Seasons, on the Realm of Tree Peoples. He mutilated our bodies as we died, and he raped me. The Carnival is between the Stretch of Heart, the forest where the Oak Dwarves, Spruce Humans and anthropomorphs people suitable for the forest live, and White Sun Harbour, where Fir Elves and fish-anthros live. Astral Elves and Snow elves live in the villages around the Pivot Day Monastery, the Domain where the Astral and Ebony Giant Elves live.

Tim: Wow, this lore is SO GOOD!? 😮

Faith: Also, no, Santa is an Astral Giant Elf, not an Ebony Giant Elf; he's the good one of Nerobzal's sons. Bartholomew and Krampus are the other, older two. Nerobzal is the big bad evil of Thalassic Space. At least, in the Script. Backstage at the Rondo Theatre, where I'm the Playwright, he's just an Actor, like everyone else who's named in Thalassic Space who isn't a deity or demon.

Damian: OK *that's* an important detail you should have mentioned earlier. Urania didn't say that, either.

Faith: Sorry, it's so easy to get carried away with my own toys!😛 It's a blessing if a chapter for anything I write is less than 20 pages LOL

Tim: LOL

Faith: Nerobzal was Erophael, a Court Fool of Yahweh, until Emperor Nero off'd himself, then Erophael laughed so loudly that all living things went nuts for five seconds until Yahweh cast him out of Paradiso. Oh shit, I forgot to tell this part of the lore, aaaaa, but Yahweh had also been affected! Michael stuffed that malice into Nerobzal's throat, literally, so Yahweh's OK now, but still.

Tim: Oh geez!

Faith: Michael stuffing Nerobzal's throat is where the Siren's Knot comes from. If a siren has a Siren's Knot in their throat, they can't sing or talk well, even in Neofom or Nerobzal, and are more likely to choke to death. Sirens are characterised by yellow eyes and a tail belonging to any fish that is unfriendly or toxic, manages to leave the hive, always bulit in or nearby the den of a sea monster, such as those on planet Bafsina (bahf-sin-uh; means 'basin' in Neofom, the language of Neo Spirits, who are friendly, unlike Nero Spirits; both come from Soul Bridges. OH GOD, LATER, OOPS. SAME WITH THE NAMES OF THALASSIC SPACE'S SIX PLANETS. Also yes, Damian, there are three more planets! They were created by the massive amount of magic used in the Third War for the O-star Spirit, and they are Judge, Little Path and Sia; Tim, the original six are Yotutrnaeyl, meaning 'journey', Bafsina, and Grace, the *OG* of the entire series that I made before my adoptive dad died, motivating me to make 8all of this* LOL)

Tim: LOL, "OH GOD, LATER, OOPS". Also, thanks for the quick lore drop this time around!

Faith: I girlbossed too hard with the lore in four years LOL

Tim: LOL

Barbara: Are there unicorns and pegasi in Thalassic Space?😮

Faith: OMG hi!

Barbara: Hi there! Welcome! 🥰💖

Tim: Tell us about Soul Bridges, while you're at it!

Faith: OK!

Faith: The Sanctuary of Gla’si’ (Glass, in Neofom, the language of Neo Spirits; Nerobzal is both the name a character and the language of the Nero Spirits), on the Realm of Album. Thanks to the formation of the Oracles, the twelve most powerful Dreamer Mages from different universities on the original three planets of Thalassic Space, the population's questions of how the body is able to or unable to use magic from the O-type star and Sagittarius A* was finally answered. The names of magic in Thalassic Space are Elevifeb, unscrambled as 'believe' and 'belief', in reference to what a person believes in, be it themselves, their family and-or friends, and belief being a more divine-centric term for a person's faith; good, solar magic; all three words are used interchangeably, and Eledisfeb, unscrambled as 'disbelief'; references the same terms as Elevifeb, but with negative connotations; dark, singularity magic; again, all three words are used interchangeably.

Tim: I'm sorry, but couldn't you have just called it Elevib or Elefib?

Faith: Yeah, but then I'd be one syllable short.😛 Symmetry or lack thereof is important to the bards and Playwrights of Thalassic Space!like me, the Playwright of the Rondo Theatre in the Dream World on Paper, a term I came up with after I had a dream where I saw childhood drawings of the dream world I glued onto coloured construction paper, and I REMEMBER DRAWING THEM. It blew my friggin' mind. 😵

Tim: Fair. Also, cool!! 😮

Faith: People who live in, have visited or acknowledge the existence of Thalassic Space have Five Mortal Qualities: the memory-bearing soul, which dies with a mortal and immortal, but their memories are archived in Santa's Snow Globe Room. Memories from a past life can be restored via resurrection by a divine or demonic entity who has their Snow Globe at whatever ritual the entity is conducting. Snow Globes *can* break, but they respawn in the Snow Globe Room if broken. Yes, this is stolen from the Santa Clause movies. Also, this is how my Animus literally gifted me Thalassic Space for Christmas when I was a demigoddess LOL

Tim: LOL!

Barbara: LOL I love that.

Faith: Second is the magic-bearing spirit, which can be disabled or awakened due to many circumstances depending on the person's status as a human or non-human, their physical and mental status, and even if they're alive or dead. The spirit stores knowledge related to magic, including any physical motions or verbal phrases required to cast a spell.

Tim: Can the spirit die?

Faith: Nope. But it *can* be stolen, and drained, by dark sorcerers.

Barbara: Ah.

Tim: Ahhhh.

Faith: Third is the mind, which is directly connected to the soul, and that's how impulses and protective actions are communicated to the fourth, the body, which acts out what the mind instructs it to. The heart is technically both the fourth and the fifth, according to some faiths.

Faith: The Soul Bridge is where Neo and Nero Spirits are born; Neo from the Suspensions, and Nero from the Underside. I use different specific verbs to describe the emotions, but both whisper, talk, shout or sing to the High Mind (the sky, exclusively interacted with by Neo Spirits) or the Low Mind (the river, exclusively interacted with by Nero Spirits) to influence or remind the Five Mortal Qualities of whatever the frick that Spirit was born for.

Tim: Ha ha!

Barbara: This is a fun read!

Tim: Heck yeah it is!

Faith: Soul Bridges can be accessed by expert Dreamer mages, and in the dream world by a person. Mine starts out like the bridge in Vanderhoof near Riverside Park and connects to Old Loop Road, but it's *so broken and twisted* that it's literally the most impossible roller coaster my subconscious could come up with. That's how it views my memories, my magic, my body, heart and mind; they're all out of sync, and it's dangerous and nonesensical. But I remember a dream where I was riding on it like in a crazy mine cart mobile game mixed with an arcade railgun shooter with Final Fantasy elements thrown in there, and I've come to accept that, if I ever go downtown, I will have a very violent awakening, literally. It'll be one of those dreams I wake up from in a hot sweat, shaking and letting out a loud scream.

Faith: And that's all about Soul Bridges and how they work, with a bit of info. about Neo and Nero Spirits! I had to throw the Five Mortal Qualities in there, 'cause that's just how I explain it in the planning document.

Barbara: Holy crow, your mind, girl! 🤯

Faith: Thanks LOL

Faith: That being said! If made General, Ra's would have access to Nerobzal's army of undead, Nero Spirits, and evil vampires and werewolves. There are also dark sorcerers, but Ra's wouldn’t order them around. All of that is the cult of Kaleido, or what remains of it after the Third War for the O-star Spirit. Kaleido was Kitsch, now Kaleido has been freed again and is Kirei. Instead of Italian vampires, the Japanese control it now!

Dick: All of *this* is what you've been cooking for four years? 🤯 I think we have a creative genius in the group now, holy smokes!

Faith: Oh geez, hi! Also, thank you! The complexity of Thalassic Space is me trying to emulate the masters of fantasy LOL

Dick: Hi Faith, welcome 😊 Also yes, it shows!

Faith: Uh, and I've been cooking soup.

Tim: Soooouuuup!

Barbara: Sooooouuupppp!!

Stephanie: (smacks lips) good soup.

Faith: Aa! Aaaaa!

Stephanie: hi 😉

Faith: I'm gonna freaking explode aren't I? LOL

Barbara: Please don't explode. 😜

Stephanie: so you've got magic dragon powers? :ooo

Faith: Yes! I can use the Thu'um, and my dragon tomb has my other two Relics. One is a white ebony dagger that can become Uriel's fiery sword (he’s my spiritual father; Urania is my mother), which Ra's cut himself on 'cause he was being greedy, and he ran out with only the dragon tooth 'cause he woke up my ten Dragon Priests. :D They're technically just guarding Argophael, now.

Barbara: Ooooh, was he your dragon boyfriend?😮

Faith: Yes! And trans! I've always been pansexual lol.

Tim: Eyyy, another gay in the family, woo hoo!

Faith: 🎉Let's freaking go, lesbians💅✨

Tim: LOL

Barbara: LOL

Stephanie: lmao

Dick: Ha ha ha!

Faith: Do I have to say what Bartholomew did again?

Barbara: Nope! We scrolled up 👍

Faith: OK, THANK GOD LOL

Barbara: LOL

Tim: Also, why did you name him Bartholomew?

Stephanie: LOL you named him Bartholomew

Faith: Bartholomew Roberts.

Barbara: OH RIGHT he's a PIRATE WARLOCK

Stephanie: a good fit for a transphobe, ngl

Faith: Yeah! And he's captain of the Naglfar because why the fuck not? XD

Dick: Whoa! We're tossing f-bombs out, now?

Faith: I'm always tossing f-bombs out. I just get bored of it sometimes. Also, it's not always time for an f-bomb.

[Faith sent an audio message.] [Singing merrily:] Ohhhh, fuck fuck, fuckity fuck fuck! A-fuck fuck, fuckity fuck fuck! Fucking fuck, fucking fuck! Oh, fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuuuuck! Fuck.

Dick: Nope. Not listening to whatever that is.

Dick: Nevermind, Barbara played it on her phone.

Barbara: LMAO

Tim: LOLOLOL

Stephanie: BEAUTIFUL. SAVED. THAT'S MY RINGTONE FOR YOU NOW FAITH LOL

Faith: I'd like to thank Casey Jones from the comic that was in the back pages of the manual for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 for the Wii for introducing me to 'fuckity fuck'. Fucking is just a normal verb form for fuck.

Barbara: LOL

Tim: Oh no, noooooo, that game *sucked*!

Faith: I had some fun with it, playing with my brother, and it and the movie it was based on introduced me to the fandom I wrote my first fanfic for, OK? I wouldn't be here without it! Muchlessbeamonsterfucker. Anyway!

Tim: LOL

Barbara: OMG FAITH 🤣🤣

Stephanie: PFFFT GO OFF I GUESS

Faith: The other is a white-blue gradient scallop seashell necklace that works like the Mermaid Princess pearls of Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch, but I can also dance, and my genre is Tohou Eurobeat.

Stephanie: (gasp!) so you're a magical girl too!! :oooo

Faith: Yes! :DDDDD I also have a Fairy Persona named Solas. My birth demigoddess name is Ønske, but when Urania became my mentor, I also got Ulia Chaménos, the surname to tribute the people I'd go on to save. And I got invited to Paradiso, where Uriel greeted me as my patron angel, and I was told my mortal name, which is, well, Faith!

Stephanie: coool :o what does your fairy 'sona look like?

Stephanie: wait no!

Stephanie: you can just show me some time!! right?

Faith: Also yes, I can! Dragon powers awake = everything is awake.

Faith: I also have a magic Costume, formally called my Astral Jester Costume. The styles of the pieces can change, but by default, it's a T-shirt crop top, shorts, cuff-bracelets lined with jingle bells, a choker with a cluster of jingle bells, hiker shoes (I have a deformed right foot, and my feet are naturally wide, so no flip-flops, flat shoes or high heels!) with a cluster of jingle bells, and, of course, a jester hat with four “ears”, each with a cluster of jingle bells. The entire outfit is white but can change colours as it changes styles. It's a magic cosplay piece LOL

Tim: OK cool but *why a jester?*

Faith: Look, Harley didn’t make me gay, LEGO Catwoman did, but I gotta do one for the clown gays, all right? Harley is an iconnnnn

Stephanie: lol truuuuueeeeee

Tim: Go off, girl! 🤣

Faith: When LEGO Catwoman used the diamond to cut the window, and was caught in the spotlight? And then we saw it again after the villain level? I was like "Oh, she’s cool! …Is she hot, too? Is that just her thing?" There's a reason my imaginary friends were fairies and mermaids and I've had my first imaginary friend, Bella, since I was like 6 🧚🦄🌈✨

Tim: yaaaaassss! ✨🌈✨

Stephanie: yes, miss gurrrlll!! 💖💖✨✨

Barbara: I love that for you!! /gen

Dick: Yeah that's cool 😁

Damian: You can all read about the Four Legendary Unicorns in the app's lore or the planning document.

Faith: Thank you, Damian!

Damian: You're welcome.

Dick: Hey Faaaaaaith

Faith: Yeeeeees

Dick: Who's your favourite Robin? 👀

Faith: He's not present. (throws a peace sign, vanishes)

Dick: GAAAAASP! (holds chest)

Tim: Eh, fair.

Stephanie: lmao

Faith: (Reappears with the sound of a tendon going over bone) But uh, the Four represent the emotions and head-spaces of the people they allow to ride on their backs. Two Italians, and two Swedes LOL

Stephanie: aw man, not the swedish!

Dick: LOL why that sound??🤣

Faith: I've got hyptonia from my dwarfism, OK! I make it a lot!

Tim: Oh cool! How tall are you?

Faith: 4'6" (146 cm)

Faith: Just know that it was supposed to be Polish as a Witcher reference. 💀

Stephanie: bruh 💀💀💀

Tim: LOL the opposite of the Wild Hunt

Faith: Literally 💀Anyway! I have the flu right now so please don’t visit, thankssss

Barbara: No. ❤️

Faith: OK! I believe you! Jump in the line, rock your body in time.

Faith: OHHHHHHH!!!

Barbara: LOL!!

Faith: I know that song from Just Dance 2. Or was it 3? I don't remember and I don't care to ask SOFFFIAA right now LOL

Dick: You’re so energetic, I love that.

Stephanie: oh you're *def* a Just Dancer.

Faith: Thank you! (ihaveareactiveattachmentdisorder)

Steph: felt that

Tim: LOL

Barbara: LOL oh hon, you're perfect 🤣

Dick: 🤣🤣

Damian: I can hear you laughing from across the hall…

Faith: Also, I haven't played since I broke my knee in March 2015 ☹️

Stephanie: awww, that sucks! but we can get you back into shape!

Faith: It's gonna be a *real* challenge.

Dick: We can do it, though 😊

Faith: And heck yeah! Oh, also.

[Faith sent a voice message:] Damian climbs out of bed, takes a decent stride away from the furniture, and does a backflip.

Damian did as told. He held in his scream of fury, and sat back on his bed.

Damian: Never do that again. Whatever that was.

Faith: Wow, he didn't scream in anger! I'm glad /gen. Also agreed

Tim: Girl is OP af💀

Faith: It’s the power of the Thu’um, but I just speak English >w<

Stephanie: i kinda wanna try 😮

Faith: Also yeah, sorry for being a Mary-Sue, everybody blame Ra's for bringing this shit into DC Comicsssss

Tim: Nah, don't apologise.

Dick: Do you *remember* the magic users we've got?

Faith: Oh yeeeeah, sorry, too used to being mean to myself

Stephanie: mood honestly

Barbara: Well, *that's* going to change, Miss Faith!

Faith: Honestly, that would be nice.😄

Barbara: ❤️

Faith: Are you sitting or standing, Steph?

Stephanie: i’m laying in bed bored as shit

Faith: REAL XD

Faith: Also feel free to get this on video for evidence, up to you

Stephanie: oooh bet, lemme record this, go ahead!

[Faith sent a voice message:] Stephanie runs to the wall, runs up the wall, does a cartwheel as she reaches the ceiling, and lands firmly on her feet.

[Stephanie shared a video.]

Stephanie: THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!

Barbara: Nice flip, Steph!

Dick: Good form 👍

Stephanie: Thanks!

Tim: I mean, I wasn’t doubting your dragon powers were real, but hey! They’re real!

Faith: But uh yeah! I think the magic should be easy for me. It'll be trying to get my body to work like it did in high school that'll be the problem 🙁

Dick: How fit were you in school?

Faith: I could lift 420lbs on the leg press.

Dick: Nice!

Barbara: Wow!!

Stephanie: damn!

Tim: You had strong legs!

Dick: You had an injury?

Faith: Yeah, I broke my left patella in tenth grade. I'll spare y'all the story for now, but it gave me anxiety and depression, and that led to a rough last semester and an even rougher grade eleven and twelve. I tried homeschooling, but Internet and fanfiction writing hooked me, and I would have been just fine at the high school branch near the police station, but then I met the one IRL boyfriend I’ve had, and then I was even more depressed. Another story for another time. I used to play volleyball and dance, and now I can only dance while sitting down. It’s not quite the same to make a choreography and be unable to do it. Hence my magic pearl!

Dick: You fit right in with us. You had a rough life too. And now you've been given the opportunity to take your life back.😊

Faith: Yeah! I mean my job is going fine, and Bruce just approved the idea I had for my Earth-33 self to return and continue her life, so no worries there. But I've spent so much time reading and consuming media just trying to understand how people make friends, and what family is like! Not that my adoptive family didn't love me, or try to teach me. My foster parents just screwed up *bad*. I was a Benadryl kid.

Dick: That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

Barbara: Awww, yeah, sorry. 😢

Faith: Again, I could literally go on, but you get the point.

Stephanie: yep.

Barbara: You're welcome to talk to us about yourself anytime, Faith! I'm sure you know plenty about us already ha ha.

Faith: Maybe not plenty, but enough to be very comfortable.

Barbara: Good!

Dick: Awesome.

Tim: So, are you aiming to get your 420 lift back?

Faith: I mean, that'd be *amazing*, I'd like to try!

Dick: Well, when you're not sick, we’re abducting you from the mansion. 🤪

Faith: Woo hoo!

Stephanie: i have a question!

Faith: Shoot.

Stephanie: where are you from? like, the country

Faith: I’m Canadian. Yes, I've been to America. We visited my adoptive dad's family in Gilmer, Texas in Easter of 2008 or '9. It was *so hot*. We flew kites, had authentic iced tea that Mom only let us have a bit of 'cause it had caffeine, there was a wasp on the bathtub that was in the backyard, and I remember briefly playing Tetris and one of the galaxy shooters with one of our cousins. And we went to the zoo! I vaguely remember the black panther, the birds, and the rhinos. We took a weird route there, but a more expected route back. I *think* that's the trip we stopped in Seattle or something to sea the ocean? I remember seeing the trees you used to be allowed to walk/drive through.

Barbara: You're just so full of stories. ❤️❤️

Faith: Aw, thanks!

Stephanie: deadpool or wolverine?

Faith: Smash both but Deadpool first unless the chemistry isn't there, ditto reasoning for Wolverine, marry Deadpool, talk history with Wolverine, I don’t think he’d like me enough to marry me; no killing here, folks.

Stephanie: wow. what a slut /aff

Faith: Thanks, I learned it from the cult of Asherah that the Yahwehists tore down, but before then, R34 and Bayonetta. Also Catwoman, again. Poison Ivy, too. OH and Her Imperial Condescendence from Homestuck.

Barbara: Oh my Gooood…

Stephanie: oh she’s *chaotic* gay!

Tim: Not Homestuck!! 😭 😭 😭

Faith: I used to be a Nepeta kinnie. Now I’m an Eridan sympathiser and fucker.

Tim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Stephanie: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Dick: (Points at the cuss) Get outta my sandwich!

Faith: (Mine turtle) Hello!

Dick: LOL

Stephanie: lmao!

Barbara: LOL!

Tim: oh of course you like asdfmovie /aff

Faith: Anyway yeah! This will be fun if my body stops breaking after the first couple of weeks or so!

Barbara: Oh, we get hurt aaaalllll the time.

Dick: Yep.

Tim: Yyyyyep.

Stephanie: uh-huh!

Damian: Yeah.

Faith: I know, I've seen the panels… I don't usually save time or money to buy or even pirate comics tbh.

Stephanie: Fair.

Tim: Yeah.

Faith: OK! I'm gonna try to sleep now! Nice meeting y'all! 👋

Stephanie: Byyyyeeee!

Barbara: TTYL!

Dick: Bye! 😄

Tim: Sleep well, Faith!

Damian: See ya.

Faith has changed her status to Do Not Disturb.

Faith has changed her status to flu needs the z’s.

Tim: She’s got a good sense of humor.

Dick: Yeah, she seems easy to get along with.

Barbara: I think we're her only friends, though. 😉

Dick: Yeah.

Stephanie: yeah

Tim: Yeeeeah. Not that I mind, though.

Barbara: Neither do I.

Stephanie: same

Dick: Ditto. Some people just need the winds of fate to blow differently for something to go their way.

Barbara: Oh, for sure.

Tim: True.

Stephanie: i'm excited to help her, though! and be her friend. 😊

Tim: Heck yeah!

Barbara: Bruce, could you take her to the Belfry when she's not sick to start with the basics?

Bruce: Sure. 🙂

Dick: Yes, great idea.

Damian: Is it mandatory?

Dick: Nope. If you don’t feel like it, you don't have to, Damian.

Damian: 'Kay.

Dick: I think that's all for now, yeah?

Tim: Yeah.

Barbara: I think so!

Stephanie: yeah, no ideas for now.

Dick: All right. We'll let Faith know when she's done snoozing and go from there. [Multiple people Liked this message.]

Click emoji to navigate to next chapter. ⏭️

#dc comics fanfiction #dc comics #dc crossover #thalassic space #batfam #batfam oc #batman #bruce wayne #damian wayne #robin #barbara gordon #batgirl #dick grayson #nightwing #stephanie brown #the spoiler #tomb of the goshenite stargazer dragon #starwriterulia writes

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stillwaterfm · 3 months ago

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+ 1 wanted connection !

julian koenig ( aaron taylor-johnson ) is looking for their twin sister .

[ familial ] julian koenig ( aaron taylor-johnson ) is looking for their twin sister . what you need to know is this they look kind of like molly gordon,riley keough, victoria pedretti, zoey deutch, halston sage, pauline chalamet, billie lourd, jane levy, skyler samuels, any suitable jewish fc - the koenigs were wealthy folks but they never flaunted their wealth. it was just something they had you know? dad was big in the tech industry and mom was a former a-list actress in the 90s who retired to a quiet life of motherhood and starting her own wellness business a la gwyneth paltrow. they've been living in palo alto since the twins were born tho the parents got divorced during the twins’ junior year of high school (and dad was working in silicon valley so the kids stayed with dad). up to you if you want a dynamic where they're complete opposites in terms of personalities or similar in a "oh look theyre super in sync and are like the same person with the same interests and vibes" kind of way. i can see it going either way!! when they were younger julian was a gifted child. he was always in advanced classes and was partaking in all sorts of extracurriculars. he was def one of those "my parents said i was special" kids and he was v much smug abt it bc it was actually true?? anyway he was meant to go to stanford bc that was his dream school, they were living in palo alto so as a child it was p much ingrained in him that that was where he was meant to go, and he worked his whole life towards that goal, so imagine everyone's shock when he didn't get in. not bc he wasnt smart enough or that he wasn't champion in enough big brain things but he lacked smth that would make him stand out. in other words......he bombed his essay lol. just another cookie cutter smart kid. at the lack of options (bc no, he did not in fact apply to any other school) the only other school he could go to was the one in cypress, minnesota which only came up bc that was his mom's alma mater and she regularly donated so he had nepo baby privileges. julian's twin, regardless of whether she was accepted elsewhere or if she was gonna go to cypress anyway, came with julian bc where one goes, the other must follow. that was just their thing, thats what they were known for. i also imagine julian being a lot more insecure and faint of heart than his twin where the only thing he actually has any real confidence in is stuff that have to do with academics and being the Best in things that you could measure in numbers and a scoring system. he did try to change that in college, trying new things, forging new relationships. his best friend will always be his sister tho. one of the very good friends julian had was jamie novak but in julian's sophomore year, he and jamie had a huge fight that rendered them somewhat enemies? still deciding the reason at this time of writing but im also thinking it could have something to do with his sister as well? pls message me just in case there are any updates on this! anyway all that anxiety and the pressure of being Number One culminated in a very public coke-induced nervous breakdown on campus and julian ended up dropping out of school when he p much already had summa cum laude in the bag. went off the grid for 10 years, went to rehab a couple of times and was actually on his 4th stint when harper, who was one of, if not the only person apart from julian’s twin that he kept in touch with after college. you do have to contact frankie at @gr0tesques .

#wc #familial

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vancruejovi · 3 months ago

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🍿 ALL the movies I’ve watched this year (2024) 🎬

Be prepared, it’s kinda a few

This includes rewatches and movies I forgot to rate earlier lol

Maniac Cop (1988) 4/10

A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1949) 8/10

Blade Runner REWATCH (1982) 8/10

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991) 6/10

The True Story of Jesse James (1957) 5/10

Charro! REWATCH (1969) 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) 7/10

The Wraith (1986) 4/10

Dreams with Sharp Teeth (2008) 9/10

Star Wars Episode IV REWATCH (1977) 8/10

Star Wars Episode V REWATCH (1980) 8/10

Star Wars Episode VI REWATCH (1983) 8/10

The Car (1977) 4/10

Flash Gordon (1980) 6/10

Oppenheimer (2023) 6/10

Barbie (2023) 6/10

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) 6/10

Made for Each Other (1939) 5/10

Dark Star (1974) 6/10

The Pirates! In Adventure With Scientist (2012) 8/10

Robin Hood REWATCH (1973) 8/10

Best Friends (1975) 5/10

Electric Dreams (1984) 8/10

Star Wars Episode I REWATCH (1999) 7/10

Barbarian (2022) 3/10

Silence of the Lambs REWATCH (1991) 8/10

Child’s Play (2019) 8/10

Dark City (1998) 8/10

Star Wars Episode II REWATCH (2002) 7/10

Star Wars Episode III REWATCH (2005) 8/10

The Simpsons Movie REWATCH (2007) 6/10

Risen (2021) 2/10

The Sicilian Clan (1969) 7/10

Renfield (2023) 4/10

Ordinary World (2016) 9/10

Centurion (2010) 4/10

Nomads (1986) 4/10

City Heat (1984) 7/10

Sinbad Legend of the Seven Seas (2003) 7/10

Night at the Museum REWATCH (2006) 9/10

Night at the Museum 2 REWATCH (2009) 8/10

Night at the Museum Secret of the Tomb (2014) 8/10

Escape from New York REWATCH (1981) 7/10

The Mechanic (1972) 5/10

One Hell of a Guy (1998) 8/10

The Rocketeer (1991) 7/10

Never Too Young to Die (1986) 5/10

Peter Pan (1953) 6/10

The Batman (2022) 5/10

Attention, les enfants regardent REWATCH (1978) 10/10

Labyrinth REWATCH (1986) 10/10

The Great Mouse Detective (1986) 8/10

Lisa Frankenstein (2024) 8/10

Rise of the Guardians REWATCH (2012) 8/10

Treasure Planet REWATCH (2002) 8/10

Inkheart (2008) 6/10

Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) 9/10

Chicken Run REWATCH (2000) 8/10

Chicken Run Dawn of the Nugget (2023) 7/10

Fantastic Mr Fox REWATCH (2009) 8/10

Five Nights at Freddys (2023) 6/10

Zachariah (1971) 7/10

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything REWATCH (1995) 9/10

Two Minds for Murder (1971) 6/10

The Secret of the Sword (1985) 7/10

After Alice (2000) 7/10

Smurfs The Lost Village (2017) 5/10

Inside Out 2 (2024) 6/20

Surfs Up REWATCH (2007) 8/10

The Swan Princess (1994) 7/10

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius (2001) 7/10

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004) 7/10

Flushed Away (2006) 6/10

The Rugrats Movie (1998) 8/10

Lethal Weapon REWATCH (1987) 8/10

Rugrats in Paris (2000) 7/10

Oliver and Company (1988) 6/10

The Last Unicorn (1982) 6/10

Lethal Weapon 2 REWATCH (1989) 8/10

Tootsie (1982) 8/10

The Best of Times (1986) 5/10

Paperback Hero (1999) 7/10

The Asphyx (1972) 5/10

Unlawful Entry (1992) 7/10

Vampires Los Muertos REWATCH (2002) 9/10

Jackpot! (2024) 3/10

The Minion (1998) 4/10

The Punisher REWATCH (1989) 6/10

Kindergarten Cop REWATCH (1990) 8/10

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory REWATCH (2005) 6/10

Mr Nanny (1993) 3/10

A Night in Heaven (1983) 5/10

Jack Reacher Never Go Back (2016) 5/10

Playing with Fire (2019) 6/10

Rebel Ridge (2024) 7/10

Cutting Class (1989) 5/10

Rocky IV REWATCH (1985) 8/10

Dollman (1991) 4/10

The Return (1980) 4/10

A Change of Place (1994) 4/10

Wolfs (2024) 6/10

The Condemned 2 (2015) 4/10

12 Rounds 2: Reloaded (2013) 6/10

See No Evil (2006) 4/10

Suburban Commando (1991) 6/10

90 Feet From Home (2019) 6/10

The Killer’s Game (2024) 4/10

Deadly Cuts (2021) 8/10

The Boys from County Hell (2020) 7/10

Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker (1981) 6/10

See No Evil 2 (2014) 3/10

Let the Wrong One In (2021) 8/10

Once Upon A Texas Train (1988) 5/10

Twins (1988) 7/10

Phantom of the Opera (2004) REWATCH 7/10

The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982) 5/10

Thursday’s Child (1983) 6/10

That Christmas (2024) 8/10

The Polar Express (2004) 5/10

The Chaperone (2011) 8/10

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almostarchaeology · 4 months ago

Text

‘The riddle of the past’: on Tolkien’s archaeological trail

By Adrián Maldonado

When I was a teenager reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time, a weird thing started happening. Whenever I had to walk any distance, I began to imagine I was embarking upon a great journey across Middle-earth. I remember when sitting around waiting for the bus one rainy afternoon, I saw a clump of bushes with a trickle of water streaming out to the gutter, and I thought, that looks exactly like the map of Fangorn and the Entwash.

I wish I could say then I got on the bus, realized I was being a dork and grew out of it. With apologies to Childish Gambino, I never got off that bus. I still haven’t.

A lifetime later, I realize I’m not alone in looking for Middle-earth everywhere. It’s not hard to find a ‘Tolkien Trail’ of some description near you, wherever you live. There’s a wild one that starts in Lancashire, where Tolkien spent a month once, and ends up in New Zealand by way of Tenerife. I’m surprised they didn’t include the North Pole, which Tolkien at least wrote stories about.

The North Pole: not on the Tolkien trail yet (source)

But I’m here to say I don’t blame anyone for flying kites about exactly which places they think inspired JRR Tolkien. Comparing someplace to The Shire is a proven strategy of getting me to go there. Just don’t expect me to believe that Tolkien really, truly based this or that chapter on your favourite country lane. The gravy train of finding Tolkien's influences very easily goes off the rails.

That’s why one of the most-used books on my Tolkien shelves is John Garth’s The Worlds of J.R.R. Tolkien (2020). After writing one of the best biographies of Tolkien, Garth has combed through the whole legendarium and then some, diving into the unpublished archive to put forward the most definitive cases for (and sometimes against) the places that really inspired Middle-earth.

New job title: auteur du blog

Recently, I had the life-changing opportunity to visit some of the real-world archaeological (and geological) inspirations as part of a new documentary film (now streaming, only in Europe so far). First of all, I agree with you, it is bonkers that I got this opportunity, and you can tell from the dumb grin on my face at every stop that I’m having the time of my life. But more importantly, going to see these places for myself, to vibe not just with the ancient past but with Tolkien’s imagination itself, reopened some questions for me. Spoiler: the questions are about archaeology.

Previously on Almost Archaeology

A blogging resumé for anyone new here: a decade ago in some of the earliest posts on this page, I jokingly referred to Gandalf as an ‘almost archaeologist’ for the research that first led him to correctly identify Bilbo’s magic ring. While working on a follow-up about Saruman, I uncovered some shocking evidence that ol' Sharkey had actually carried out legit fieldwork long before Gandalf stumbled into the library of Gondor.

Can we burn candles any closer to the ancient scrolls (source)

This productive period of avoiding essay-marking coincided with the release of the (mostly tragic) Hobbit film trilogy, and I had a great time cataloguing the archaeological themes in a trilogy of posts.

Throughout all this happy procrastination, it slowly dawned on me that Tolkien and other early fantasy writers were busy inventing new approaches to worldbuilding just as archaeologists like V. Gordon Childe were writing their own sweeping European prehistories. Studying Tolkien is actually helping me study archaeology. But can the study of archaeology help us understand Tolkien?

Chasing Tolkien

Tolkien fans have always been fascinated by the hints of the real-world sites, texts and ideas he used as inspiration, just as he always bristled at their attempts to pin him down. But I think the search encourages close reading and travel, surely no bad thing overall.

Pub pilgrimage (source)

Most Tolkien fans, if given the chance, will try and visit Oxford some time in their life, maybe have a pint at the Eagle and Child if at all possible. For us it is more than fandom, but a pilgrimage, an act of paying respect, bearing witness, and maybe also, in some ineffable way, entering the story. Searching for his real-world inspirations is no less valid than literary scholars scouring his writings for allusions to ancient texts and medieval poetry. We don’t realize we’re doing it, but collectively, Tolkien scholars and fans alike are building a new canon: the definitive set of works, things and places which provide prophetic insight into the legendarium, a sort of Tolkien Old Testament, works that, if studied and pondered, may lead to a greater understanding of the ‘sacred’ texts.

But this is, by and large, a literary pursuit. How does Garth’s Worlds of Tolkien, dealing in earthly locales, fit in with this project? It presents the authoritative argument for the way that Tolkien’s travels in the material world shaped his vision of a mythical past as much as ancient texts. It shows that inspiration is only very rarely one-to-one, but a layering of experiences, including of real-world objects and places. There’s even a chapter specifically about archaeological inspirations, but Garth, as much as I idolise him, is not an archaeologist, and there's more to build on here. As Dimitra Fimi’s work has shown, and I explored in my worldbuilding post, there is still plenty to excavate from Tolkien’s relationship to the discipline of archaeology, as both were in their formative years at the start of the last century.

The 'Dragon Hill' beneath the Uffington White Horse (own work)

One example is the fortress of Amon Sûl or Weathertop. Garth explores the possible inspiration for this particular place at the Dragon Hill ‘fort’ beneath the Uffington White Horse which he certainly visited many times. This was a bit of a reach for me, and now having been there, I am less convinced. While the site is certainly striking, it does not dominate the horizon the way I imagine Weathertop, as White Horse Hill looms right behind it. Nor does it have the look of an old, ruined castle. If anything, the older and bigger Uffington Castle, the Iron Age hillfort soaring above them both, would be a better candidate, but neither ring true for me.

Not to worry though, because this is ironically where Garth’s book shines. One of the things it does best is showing how it doesn’t really matter that there is not a one-to-one connection between places Tolkien visited and locations in Middle-earth.

In the ‘Ancient Imprints’ chapter, and in an appendix dismissing any connections to the Vyne Ring, Garth discusses the relationship between Tolkien and the prominent archaeologist Sir Mortimer Wheeler. Sure, Tolkien famously wrote a note on the god Nodens for the Wheelers' excavations at Lydney, Gloucestershire, but it is not clear that they ever met, much less that Tolkien ever visited the site. (It remains very cool that the site was known as the ‘Dwarf’s Hill’ and had Roman-era mine tunnels, but still.)

Action-packed archaeology: Sir Mortimer Wheeler (source)

Garth discusses the popular, action-packed accounts that Wheeler published in British newspapers during his excavations at Maiden Castle, Dorset Iron Age hillfort in the 1930s. It is one thing to assume Tolkien ‘must have’ read these, but Garth has the receipts (140, n. 35). He uses this to connect the Maiden Castle burial pits to the Barrow-wights, but to me, Maiden Castle, with its tales of monumental but forgotten wars, is probably more relevant to Tolkien's description of Weathertop, even if they look nothing alike. (Actually, if you really asked me, I’d say there’s nothing more Weathertop-y than Castell Dinas Brân in North Wales, even if there’s nothing connecting it with Tolkien I know of.)

Weathertop is best explained as a mix of different touchpoints ranging from Iron Age forts to medieval castles that would have bumped around in Tolkien's mind as he wrote. But if you asked him directly, he would surely dissemble – would he even be able to isolate these diffuse inspirations himself if asked?

Another important lesson from Garth’s book is that the stories grew in the telling. The way Tolkien understood Middle-earth at the outset of the Lord of the Rings writing process in 1938 changed dramatically by the time of its publication in 1954. Sticking with the example of Weathertop, Garth shows how this changed from the largely atmospheric, anonymous ‘old castles with an evil look’ seen by Bilbo in The Hobbit, to the very specific Second-Age stronghold of Amon Sûl as described by Aragorn (FotR 1, ch 9).

Tolkien’s archaeological travels

It was with Garth’s book in hand that the film crew for Tolkien: The True Story of the Rings came up with a list of key places in England, France and Switzerland to visit, and Garth is of course a prominent voice in the final film. I’m more in the role of audience surrogate, tagging along for the England leg of the journey, and I can tell you, it was a life-changer. We went to some of the places with the clearest analogues in the books, places where you can pretty much read a description on a single page, look up and see what he’s describing.

But only very few of these did Tolkien ever explicitly acknowledge. For instance, after the Battle of the Hornburg, Gimli describes in poetic detail the Glittering Caves (or Aglarond) he saw beneath Helm’s Deep.

Here they have one of the marvels of the Northern World, and what do they say of it? Caves, they say! Caves! Holes to fly in time of war, to store fodder in! My good Legolas, do you know that the caverns of Helm’s Deep are vast and beautiful? There would be an endless pilgrimage of Dwarves, merely to gaze at them, if such things were known to be. Aye indeed, they would pay pure gold for a brief glance! (TT 3, ch 8)

Tolkien’s letter 321 confirms it was the caves of Cheddar Gorge he was describing, which he had visited several times, including a heavily-freighted moment, while on honeymoon with Edith in the spring of 1916 – mere months before he marched to the Battle of the Somme.

Caves, they say! Cox's Cave, Cheddar (own work)

In most other places, the influence is not so direct. The joy of visiting these is to commune with past visitors, up to and including Tolkien, to try and feel what they felt. More often than not, that feeling is not about what you can see, but what you cannot. Visiting ancient monuments is the search for the uncanny, of seeing and touching something that has cheated time by surviving this long, and equally ruminating on how much has been lost to time’s bastard axe. For some, reflecting on past lives can create a sincere yearning to fill in those gaps by any means necessary – by consulting the archives where they exist, or by archaeological investigation where they don’t.

Wayland's Smithy, Oxfordshire (own work)

This is kind of how Tolkien felt when he read ancient poetry – it was a single enigmatic mention of ‘Éarendel’ in an Old English poem that arguably sparked the entire legendarium. But it is less well-appreciated that he got this feeling from places with evocative names and legends attached to them. Dimitra Fimi, also featured prominently in the documentary, has spotted this in Tolkien’s early academic works. In a brief stint as reviewer for scholarly journal The Year's Work in English Studies, we can see how the layering of languages in place-names fired his yearning for the ancient past. He ends his 1926 review with the potential for an “alliance of Philologia and Archaeologia.” He connects the discovery of Roman mosaics at Fawler, Oxfordshire with the origins of its place-name in the Old English fāg flōr, tessellated floor, meaning early English speakers came to this ruined villa and were struck by its multi-coloured pavement. This example immediately rung bells in his mind, as the poem Beowulf uses the phrase on fāgne flōr to describe the pavement of the mead-hall of Heorot. Tolkien would later go on to describe the king’s hall of Meduseld at Edoras as having a floor “paved with stones of many hues” (TT 3, ch. 6), creatively marrying archaeological and linguistic inspirations with allusions to medieval literature.

The Rollright Stones, Cotswolds (own work)

The ancient monuments we visited for the film, including the Rollright Stones and Wayland’s Smithy, fascinated Tolkien not just because they were ancient remnants, but also because they had acquired names and legends thousands of years after they were built. The names we still use for them derive from the early medieval period, when people reimagined them in the same way as they coined the name Fawler. Maybe he wasn’t an archaeologist, but Tolkien was able to excavate these layers of meaning from a variety of source materials from Old English literature to place-names. Tolkien's Hobbits, he imagined, were something like the Anglo-Saxons, enchanted by the spirits that still inhabited these ancient megaliths.

Tolkien the Professor

But Tolkien was not content merely to leave us wondering about these ancient monuments. A big reason for writing the Ring cycle was the chance to explore – even excavate? – in the world he had conjured to life. In a brilliant article on the archaeology of Tolkien’s world, Deborah Sabo showed how “encounters with ruins—or, to choose a more inclusive term, archaeological places—contribute to the successful evocation of a sense of history in Middle-earth” (2007, 91). The Hobbits stand in for the readers, being taken on a walking tour of Middle-earth. When Bilbo and his Party find ancient swords in the Trollshaws, they go ask Elrond how old they are and who made them, and we get our first glimpses of the antiquity of these lands. Years later when Frodo and his party find themselves at one of Bilbo’s ‘old castles’, Aragorn is there to expound on its historical significance.

We are conditioned to expect that Middle-earth has an epic history, but one that is precariously on the edge of being forgotten. This is not dissimilar to the rural England of Tolkien’s youth, with the search for British prehistory a very recent development at that point. But he was on a different kind of mission. His interest in place-names as artefacts all added to what he called in his 1926 review “the allurement of the riddle of the past” and this work as “the recapturing of fitful and tantalizing glimpses in the dark” (65). As Sabo points out, in LotR,

almost every encounter with an archaeological place springs a mnemonic trigger that brings to some character's mind a connection to the past, and a context for learning, either a deepening sense of his own heritage and identity, or sympathy for that of another…encounters with ruins and archaeological places in The Lord of the Rings always lead to personal growth. (2007, 108-9)

It is striking to go back to the big book of Tolkien’s Letters with this in mind. One of the earliest (number 7) is the cover letter he wrote to the University of Oxford when he applied to the Rawlinson and Bosworth Professorship of Anglo-Saxon in 1925, at the age of 33. He ends it with his sincere wish to continue “the encouragement of philological enthusiasm among the young.”

He of course got the job, and held that professorship for twenty years. But he'd be encouraging the youth for generations to come.

It is then no surprise the Tolkien readers are all susceptible to seeing Middle-earth everywhere. Tolkien himself trained us to peel back the layers of stories we love, and ground ourselves with roots in our own epic pasts, wherever we are.

And some of us grow up to be archaeologists.

***

Featured image by me

Watch Tolkien: The True Story of the Rings on Arte.tv

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