#usually they get cut out when I edit things because I'm just focused on the characters; but then one day I was like

[royalarchivist]

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother. Cucurucho: What. Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

Here's Cucurucho and Oscurucho's long lore conversation from yesterday! The entire conversation lasted about 8 minutes, but most of that time was just silence between each exchange, so I edited out the long pauses and got it down to ~3 minutes. I also fixed the audio levels and added subtitles since I personally find it difficult to understand Oscurucho sometimes :'D

I hope folks find this helpful!

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

-

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother.

Cucurucho: What.

Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

[They enter Cucurucho's office]

Oscurucho: I wanted to see if you're still as rigid in your beliefs as ever. You see, I've been thinking about our... Let's call it "philosophical divergence." You stand for order, for predictability. But where's the fun in that? You see, brother, while you build, I ponder the beauty in tearing down. It's not just destruction - it's rebirth. A chance to remake things in a more... thrilling image.

[...]

Oscurucho: You once had a backbone for our cause. Now, I see a softness in you, a sentimental weakness for those Eggs. Mere experiments, and yet - they've softened you.

Cucurucho: Your vision obstructs the path to perfection. You fail to understand the potential of the Eggs.

Oscurucho: Potential? They're but catalysts for change - for revolution. Without them, stagnation reigns.

[...]

Oscurucho: You chase perfection, I embrace the beauty of flaws. Your world is one of order, mine thrives in chaos. You wish for everything to run smoothly, I dream of watching it all burn to the ground. We may share a name, but our souls are worlds apart. All your efforts, all for what? Mere acknowledgment from a Duck who told you to do it? Imagine the possibilities - rather, show me where it is, and I'll do the rest.

[...]

Oscurucho: Speaking of possibilities, I couldn't help but notice how easily others can access the island. It seems your security measures aren't as impenetrable as you think.

Cucurucho: No. My island's vulnerabilities are of your own making. Do not mistake restraint for ignorance.

Oscurucho: Pity. But then again, I never really needed your approval. Just consider: Cucurucho - in your quest for order, have you not sown the seeds of your own undoing? Do you genuinely trust all your Federation minions?

Cucurucho: ...

Oscurucho: Perhaps it's time you question not just my intentions, but those who you believe stand with you.

Cucurucho: That is none of your business, I shall say. Now, leave me alone and try to disturb someone else.

[kikixreverie]

It's called: freefall

Bucky x Female reader

Summary - Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.

Word count - 10k

Warnings - (18+) smut, fingering, p in v, friends to lovers, fake marriage, gross misogynistic man (not Bucko), borderline sexual harassment (not too intense, just gross words, and also not Bucky ofc), fluff, kinda angst, more misogyny.

A/N - Hi, this took me weeks to edit for some reason, sorry, and apologies if it's too long/wordy, i got carried away again. I'm not a big fan of the first half ngl, maybe that's because it's bad, or maybe it's because I've read it about a hundred times. The smut is good though, and that's what really matters.

________________________

"It's just a quick job, I promise. It'll be easy."

Steve gave you a smile of encouragement, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him, before politely averting his gaze to the floor when you lifted your dress slightly to slide your usual dagger into the holster on your thigh.

"Then what's with the getup?" You asked, lifting your head to catch sight of yourself in the mirror opposite you, looking at the dress you had been made to wear.

It was a pretty dress, beautiful actually, the colour beautiful against your skin-tone, perfectly fitted in all the right places, and it flowed down to the floor, a slit travelling up the length of your left leg, ending at your upper thigh.

You felt confident in it, and it was certainly a boost to your ego when Natasha wolf-whistled at the sight of you and Steve turned an impressive shade of red, but it wasn't something you were used to, having spent the past few years of your life dodging and refusing Tony's party invites, sticking to the comfiest clothes you owned when walking about the compound. It was a beautiful dress, but you couldn't help but feel like an imposter wearing it.

Natasha strode over to you and slightly adjusted the placement of your knife, ensuring it wasn't visible through the dress. "Daniel Kozlov. He's been on Shield's hit list for years now, fucker keeps catching and killing our agents on the inside."

You scoffed amusedly and shook your head, "What, so you send me in to get killed too?"

"Don't underestimate yourself, I've seen you take down four armed men with a screwdriver; you'll be fine, plus, you'll have Bucky and he knows how to stay undetected." Steve reassured you and you smiled at him, nodding to his words.

You heard footsteps behind you only moments before another voice spoke up, and you turned to the door, your breath catching in your throat as you did.

"That I do," Bucky nodded to Steve as he entered the room, eyes focused on his hands, adjusting his cuff links with a furrowed brow, before he finally tilted his gaze up, meeting your wide eyes with his own.

You barely noticed him looking you up and down, as you were too busy doing the exact same thing to him, no doubt probably being incredibly obvious as you stared with your lips parted. He looked like pure fucking sin.

Unadulterated and unfiltered sin.

His suit was all black and his pale, blue eyes contrasted against the colour, somehow making them stand out even more than usual. His already incredibly muscular arms and legs were accentuated, the expensive fabric tight against his skin, without it looking strange and uncomfortable, it only drew your attention to how broad his shoulders were compared to his narrow waist, or how thick his thighs looked in the black dress pants.

Multiple silver rings graced his fingers, matching with the silver, designer watch on his left wrist and you did a double-take when you noticed that his watch was wrapped around skin, not vibranium.

"Your arm." You said, sounding more like a statement than a question and Bucky forced himself to tear his gaze from your exposed thigh and tried to hide his pink dusted cheeks and breathless intake of air as his eyes followed yours to his metal arm, now concealed by what looked to be skin.

"Yeah." His voice came out as a sigh. He didn't know why, most amputees like him he was sure would be over the moon with the impressive technology, but it just made him uncomfortable, seeing his arm how he did 70 years ago. I felt inherently wrong. "Tony."

You nodded, looking away from his hand. A part of you was annoyed Tony had given it to him, knowing that it took Bucky years to accept that part of himself, and this seemed like it would be a setback in that department, though you still understood why it was necessary, Bucky was the best for the job, and chances are a criminal as 'highbrow' as Kozlov, would recognise the arm.

You wanted to change the subject, and you could tell Bucky did too, so you huffed a laugh and met his eyes, jokingly poking his chest with your finger, "You look like a mobster."

He nodded and chuckled, "Thanks, I guess. You look like a mobster's wife."

"Wife huh? Is that what we're doing?" You ask, turning your head to look down at Nat questioningly as she finished with your dress.

"Did they not tell you?" Bucky asked and you shook your head.

"I missed the briefing but Steve here thought he'd sign me up anyway." You gave the blonde a jokey, reprimanding look and he sighed, picking up two folders from the table and handing them to you.

"Blue one is about Kozlov, and the black is about who you and Bucky are going to be playing."

You take the folders from Steve, handing the blue one to Natasha as you open the black one, "James and Lucille Walter. Hey, how come he gets to keep his name and I get Lucille?"

"That's just a coincidence and I'm sure Bucky isn't too happy about it either. You're pretending to be a real couple, James Walter is one of Kozlov's newest buyers, he doesn't know him very well though, that's why you two shouldn't be caught out by anyone."

Nodding to Steve's words, you quickly skim over the rest of the folder, memorising as much as you can, before swapping with Nat and reading the other one, "And where are the real James and Lucille Walter?"

"Dead."

You stop your reading and turn to Natasha at the sound of her voice, giving her a look when she tried to hide her smirk.

"Ah, yes. Courtesy of Natasha Romanoff herself, Mr and Mrs Walter are in fact, dead" Steve spoke dramatically, causing you to scoff and wink at the redhead beside you.

"We should leave now. I'll explain further in the car and give you a rundown of the plan. Should be an easy job." Bucky takes the folders from you and tucks them under his arm, signalling for you to walk out the door and you give Steve and Natasha a smirk before you leave.

"Wish me luck guys."

_______________________________________

You were picked up from the compound by one of Stark's trusted drivers and Bucky described the plan in detail to you on the way there, but as you arrived closer and closer to your destination, you felt the nerves come on.

Usually, you were behind a computer screen on missions, hacking security cameras and breaking into encrypted files, you had no doubt of your fighting skills, you've been training almost your whole life, and the few missions you've done where you've had to fight were smooth sailing, but you had never done undercover before.

You started nibbling on your lower lip as soon as the car pulled up, doubting yourself again despite the amount of times Natasha has given you a whole speech about why you had no reason to ever do that.

The door on Bucky's side opened and when he offered you his arm to help you out of the car, meeting your eyes and giving you a gentle smile, you felt the nerves calm slightly.

You and Bucky were close in a way that no one had expected, considering he had the tendency to keep himself away from people and stay quiet when he was forced to socialise. You were slow-paced and gentle with him, a huge contrast to the way Sam would constantly be on Bucky about his lack of social skills, or Tony dragging him to parties he had no interest in. Sam always has the best intentions, but sometimes can be a little too enthusiastic for Bucky, and Tony, well sometimes Tony's just a dick with full knowledge of the fact that he's being one, and not a single care in the world about it.

You and Bucky both had an understanding, you had confided in him about your fears, your anxiety, and he had managed to do the same.

You just couldn't help but develop a teeny tiny crush on him over the past few months.

"Don't work yourself up, stay in character, stay alert, and remember the plan."

Nodding to him, you took a deep breath and put yourself into character, reminding yourself of yours and Bucky's new names, keeping your head up as you entered the party, an expensive diamond wrapped around your left ring finger with a similar pattern to the silver band Bucky had on his.

The hall was beautiful, gold detailing adorned the large doors and walls, reaching up to the ceiling to create beautiful patterns against the pristine white of the building. The party-goers were even more beautiful, hundreds of gowns and suits worth more than your life, probably bought and worn for a single night, before they're discarded and forgotten in the back of their walk-in closets.

You felt like you didn't fit in at all, but you watched as party guests eyed the two of you, and they seemed to be approving.

It didn't take you and Bucky long to get situated, stood in the corner of the extravagant hall with a glass of champagne now in your hand as you surveyed the exits and bodyguards, and Bucky looked for the target.

The mission was just a small lead in a huge investigation. You and Bucky were just here to buy something from Kozlov and then get out.

"Got him, 4 o-clock. He's surrounded but he should be expecting us so it shouldn't be an issue." Bucky had leant down to whisper in your ear, his breath tickling against your neck and causing a shiver to rake over your shoulders.

Fuck, he smelled like sin too.

It made you want to take a deeper breath, made you want to pull him even closer, close enough to close that small gap between your lips and kiss him till you run out of breath, and as much as that would be inconspicuous and normal for James and Lucille Walter, it would be completely inappropriate for Bucky and Y/n.

"We shouldn't go over yet. Let's just mingle a bit, get more of a feel of this place and blend into the background as much as we can." You add, and Bucky nods, surveying the room again before meeting your eyes.

"Good idea, but when we do go over, don't make eye contact with him and don't say anything," said Bucky. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, giving him a slightly annoyed, but understanding smile, and he smiled back apologetically, "I know, it's stupid, but that's what these guys are like. If he so much as thinks that you're either, on the table or threatening his masculinity, we're in trouble. Okay?"

You understood what Bucky was saying, men like Kozlov, they see women as property, or in some cases, currency. It's best to stay off their radar as best you can, which includes not threatening his masculinity by daring to look him in the eyes.

Women were to keep their heads down.

Which was bullshit.

"Okay."

He gives you a final nod and you think he's finally about to pull away and have mercy on your heart, but before he does, he pauses and presses his soft, warm lips to your cheek in a gentle kiss.

Air gets caught in your throat as it happens, but you try not to make an audible noise, quickly pulling yourself together and reminding yourself that you and Bucky are pretending to be a couple and he's just trying to sell it better. It makes sense.

It's just pretend.

You spend the whole evening with your hand wrapped around Bucky's bicep, neither of you breaking apart for anything as random people come up to you and try to start conversations. Usually, one of you will take one for the team and has to stand there talking about money and beach houses for five minutes, plus the occasional question about kids, which seemed to make Bucky blush every time, as the other keeps an eye on Kozlov.

"So how long have you two been married?" A seemingly kind lady asks, her red dress matching her lips as they stretch into an awkward smile.

"A year in June," You respond, well-rehearsed at this point as you smile up at your pretend husband, "Can't believe how quickly it's going."

Bucky is quick thinking with the act, and he smiles down at you, his arm wrapping gently around your waist and squeezing you to his side. Your heart probably stopped beating for a moment, and you wondered how he got so good at this, before brushing the thought away and looking back to the woman in the red dress, smiling warmly at her too.

"Ah, bet you two are still in the honeymoon phase. You look completely smitten with each other, it's adorable." She scrunched her nose up on the word 'adorable', her gaze flicking between the two of you before she glanced at her own husband, standing a few feet away as he laughed with a larger group of men, a big glass of whiskey in his hand. She sighed.

You tried to keep your face neutral, smiling and nodding along, but something about what she had said had caught in your chest, and you wished you could see just for a moment from someone else's eyes, just how 'smitten' you both look.

You felt bad for the woman, who stood in the middle of the huge ballroom completely alone and abandoned by her husband, but there wasn't anything you could do for her, and Bucky was subtly hinting to you that you were to go speak with Kozlov soon, so you kissed her cheek and bid her goodbye.

You spared Bucky a quick glance and he was focused on Kozlov, his face stoic as he glanced in his direction discreetly, scanning the exits too, checking for close-by security cameras and windows again, just in case.

"I think it's time, doll." He murmured.

You quickly lift your head to meet his eyes, the pet-name he usually only used when you were tipsy and would brush it off casually, slipping off his tongue, though it had the same effect sober or not, you blushed and nodded.

He smiled at you, almost looking fond, though you were pretty sure he was just offering you a break from the stoic, mission orientated Bucky, before he took a deep breath and reached for your hand on his bicep to hold it with his own, gently squeezing before guiding you towards the target.

As you walked Kozlov's way, who was surrounded by burly, most definitely armed bodyguards, you noticed the women surrounding him too, some with their husbands and all of them looking beyond uncomfortable, staring out at the party with bored, or even nervous expressions.

"James Walter," Bucky nodded to one of the bodyguards, who had stopped you both from passing, and the bodyguard shared a look with another, before nodding and letting you walk on.

Daniel Kozlov was sat comfortably in a velvet armchair as he swirled a glass of whiskey in his hand, seemingly stuck in a boring conversation as he stared at the wall before him, completely uninterested in what the man talking to him had to say.

"Mr Kozlov, I'm James Walter, It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

Kozlov perked up at the sound of a new voice and a wide, Cheshire cat grin formed on his lips as he regarded you and Bucky, though you kept your eyes to the floor, or seemingly 'admiring' the expensive decorations as the men spoke.

"Ah, my new friend! I was hoping you'd show up, had a few men flake out on me recently," The man spoke dramatically, his thick European accent prevalent and images of his file flashed in your head, remembering that Shield had been taking down his buyers one by one, either arresting them on other charges or putting a bullet between their eyes as Natasha had done with the real Mr and Mrs Walter.

They weren't particularly very nice people, so you didn't hold much guilt for their deaths, or stealing their identity after the fact.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, sir. Heard you've got something I have my interests set on." Bucky's voice was smooth and charismatic, matching Kozlov's energy as best he could, and you couldn't lie, it made your blood run warmer, heat spreading to certain parts of your body you were ashamed to admit were reacting to the confidence he exuded tonight.

"Hm... I suppose I do. Do you always allow your wife to be a part of your deals?" Your looked up slightly at his mention of you, and Kozlov smirked wickedly at the expression on your face, "Women can be god-awful gossips sometimes."

This fucking guy-

Bucky squeezed your hand tightly, forcing the words from his tongue, "I assure you, sir. She is nothing to worry about."

He was just as pissed as you were.

"I don't know, she doesn't really seem like the quiet type, I reckon she's a loud-mouth once she's on her back, although I'm sure having her on her knees will shut her up nice and quiet." He chuckled darkly and Bucky's hand was holding yours so tight, his jaw clenching and unclenching, measured breaths exhaled through his nose, he still managed to keep his face blank though, as did you, quietly seething as you put on the frightened baby deer look that men seemed to love, staring down at the floor.

He needed to think you were in the same position as the other poor, frightened women here, that he'd get bored with you all the same.

You swallowed your tongue though, wanting nothing more than to speak up and put the bastard in his place, right before beating the absolute shit out of him, though you knew that would come in due time, for now all you could do was finish this fucking mission.

"She won't be a problem."

Kozlov laughed, knowing he was getting under James' skin. He stood from the armchair and nodded towards Bucky, the smile sinking, trying to look intimidating, despite the fact that he was practically less than half the size of Bucky, "Make your payment."

Bucky pulled a phone from his pocket, sending a single word in a text and waiting for the confirmation only seconds later, before tucking it away again, "Payment made."

Daniel looked over at a man sat in the corner with a laptop and when he nodded, he turned back to look at Bucky, his hand sneaking into his own pocket and pulling out a hard drive, handing it to Bucky before taking a step back and looking you up and down.

"What's your name, sweetheart?"

You swallowed your irritation, narrowly avoiding the urge to roll your eyes at the way he was eyeing you like a piece of meat, Bucky opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by a glare.

"I asked the wife, not you. Name?" He spoke through gritted teeth, obviously quick to anger, and you fought back the urge to fucking bitch slap him, take the dagger from your thigh and press it to his neck, but you were sticking to the deer in headlights act.

"Lucille."

A smirk overtook his face, a healed scar on his cheek stretching as he did so, "Pretty name for a pretty thing."

At this point, Bucky was squeezing your hand so hard again, your fingers were starting to go numb, the rings he was wearing digging uncomfortably into your skin, but you didn't pull away, instead, you returned the tight grip to try to reassure him.

Taking a step closer to you, Daniel Kozlov lifted his hand to your cheek, making you flinch slightly and you clenched your jaw when the back of his hand caressed your cheek, his skin ice-cold against yours.

"I happen to collect pretty things."

Bucky felt sick to his stomach, knowing that he couldn't do anything besides stand there and watch, stepping out of line in any way would end in a fight, and he knew he couldn't risk lives, or the mission.

A part of you was expecting him to backhand you, but he never did Instead, he touched your cheek for a while longer, glancing over at Bucky with a smile before he took a step away from you and laughed at the murderous look Bucky was trying to hide, he knew that Bucky was in a position where there wasn't much he could do to stop him, and he openly mocked him for it, "I could take her off your hands for the night for you, teach her some manners. Maybe she'll learn to answer her superiors quickly, when they ask her a question."

"Not necessary." Bucky's voice was scarily even, but his jaw was aching from how hard he was grinding his teeth together and he started pulling you closer to him, shooting Kozlov a dangerous glare, "I think it's time we leave."

"Of course, of course. No doubt you need to get her to bed."

Bucky ignored his words and turned, pushing his way past the bodyguards and pulling you along by your hand, making you stumble in your heels.

"James." You called out as you tried to catch up with him. His grip on your hand was starting to hurt again but he kept walking with intent, pulling you out of the grand doors at the entrance to the hall and towards the expensive car you had arrived in.

He handed the driver a wad of cash and told him to leave, giving him a silent glare which obviously meant 'fuck off' when the guy hesitated.

As Bucky pulled open the passenger seat door and helped you into the car, you glared at him, though when he ducked his head into the car and leant over you to put your seatbelt on for you, the intensity behind the glare faded and you were left just staring wide eyed at him, and instead of yelling at him and telling him that you were perfectly capable of doing your own seatbelt, you were lost for words with how close his body was to yours, his breath fanning against your bare shoulder.

You could only breathe when he pulled away and slammed the door shut, rounding the car to get into the driver's seat, not sparing you another glance as he turned on the engine and put the car into gear, speeding off into the city.

his frustration and anger filled the space with tension.

"Bucky, you need to calm down," You tried but he continued to ignore you, one hand on the gear stick and the other gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. You sighed, his frustration and anger filled the space with tension, and you concluded that he was a grown man who could calm himself down.

You dropped your head against the seat as you focused on the view outside your window, the lights of the city burning bright against the night sky.

You glanced at the side-view mirror, and rolled your eyes when you realised it was the same car that was behind you when you left the party, "We're being followed."

Bucky's hearing was obviously working. When he heard what you said, his eyes lifted to the rear-view mirror and he sighed heavily, "Fuck."

"Where are we gonna go? None of the safehouses are fancy enough for Mr and Mrs Walter."

"We'll have to go to a hotel, they shouldn't give us any trouble unless we seem suspicious. There's no way Kozlov would have us killed immediately after a sale, too risky," You nod at his words, knowing that Bucky was an expert at things like this due to his past with Hydra, he knew how men like Kozlov worked, how their brains ticked, and you trusted him completely. "Okay, I know where to go." He said as you kept an eye on the car, taking note of the plate number and trying to get a view of the person driving it, "Text Nat with the burner in my pocket, tell her we'll be at The Pierre, tell her to bring backup just in case but keep them minimally armed, it's just a precaution."

You sigh again, looking away from the car behind you and back to Bucky, "Which pocket?"

"Inside pocket, left side."

You nibbled on your lower lip as you reached over to him, and he tilted his body to you slightly in assistance. Bucky gulped, and you blushed as your hands brushed against his shirt when you reached into his suit jacket, searching for the pocket.

His body was incredibly warm and it only made you want to draw out the situation even longer as Bucky fought to keep his concentration on the road and the car behind, but eventually, your fingers brushed against the phone and you hesitantly pulled it out and sat back in your seat, a long exhale coming from him as you did so and he readjusted his grip on the steering wheel, shooting you a quick glance, his gaze falling to how exposed your thigh had become with the movement, though he tore his eyes away quickly.

You slipped the phone back into Bucky's pocket once you had received Natasha's quick response, and Bucky pulled up to the hotel. You watched in quiet amusement as the man following parked not-so-discreetly, a bit further down the street.

"Remember who your playing." Bucky shot you a final glance as he turned off the ignition and got out of the car, straightening out his suit jacket as he walked to the passenger side and pulled open the door, offering his arm to you and helping you out of the car.

You hated how real it all felt, him doting on you when you were trying desperately hard to convince yourself it was an act, but you still wrapped both your hands around his arm, draping yourself against his side as you walked towards the entrance, telling yourself that you did it only for the upkeep of the ruse.

The tension between you was undeniable as Bucky looked down at you, his expression serious, but not stern, only intense.

"James? Are we going in?" You asked, using his fake yet real name and it seemed to wake him from his daze, nodding as he reminded himself of his surroundings and the man now wandering closer to them, his phone to his ear, though he didn't speak into it.

"Course, doll. Just admiring my wife's beauty in the city lights."

Your mouth fell open slightly at his words but he didn't give you much time to react before he was walking you into the hotel, and you were thankful that he wasn't dragging you this time.

Bucky didn't waste any time, quickly moving to one of the people running the front desk and glaring down at him.

"Name?"

"James Walter," He spoke and the man nodded, typing something out on his computer before handing Bucky a black key-card, giving him a fearful smile.

Stepping away from the front desk, Bucky moved to your left as he discreetly put his hand into his pocket and slipped the burner phone into your hand, and you switched the phone into your right hand once you realised his plan, tossing the phone into the garbage bag on the back of a janitors cart before walking into the elevator.

You sighed heavily as you both finally entered the hotel room, trudging to the bed in the middle of the giant room and collapsing on it as Bucky started scoping out the room, quickly checking the bathroom and shutting all the curtains.

"We're going to have to stay here all night, aren't we? That guy isn't gonna go anywhere." You sighed, closing your eyes as you sunk into the mattress.

"One bed." Bucky said, and you peaked your eyes open one at a time, moving your gaze to the man now slouched in the armchair tucked into the corner of the large room, still looking beyond annoyed.

"Huh?"

His jaw ticked in annoyance as his head fell back against the chair, "There's only one bed."

Oh.

"Oh," You sat up on the bed, looking around the room awkwardly.

You didn't really want to think about what that could mean, it either formed butterflies in your stomach, or disappointment.

He didn't have to act so upset about it.

"Is it that bad?" You scoffed, half joking, half serious, and Bucky lifted his head, his eyes widening, lips parted.

"No, that's not what I-" He cut himself off, sighing and furrowing his eyebrows, looking guilty, "Sorry. I'm just so fucking annoyed."

You smiled and nodded, "I know, me too. We're one step closer to getting this guy though, Buck."

He nodded too, eyes closing again, his jaw unclenching, finding some kind of relief in your words.

"We don't have to share if you don't want, but I'm okay with it if you are. I trust you. Plus, we've fallen asleep on the couch together before, can't be that much different." You shrugged, acting nonchalant, although you felt extremely not, as you stood up, sick of the feeling of your knife's handle digging uncomfortably in your skin.

You pulled your skirt up to expose your other thigh, lifting your right foot to rest on the bed, while making sure not to flash Bucky in the process as you pull the dagger out, throwing it back on the bed, leaving the garter on for now.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight, watching as your dagger glided against the skin of your thigh as you removed it from yourself, tossing it onto the white bed sheets before dropping your foot back to the floor.

"No it's... I don't- uh." He trailed off, losing his train of thought, obviously distracted.

You looked at him, eyes dropping to follow the movement of his tongue wetting his lips, and you knew you'd never get the sight of him right now out of your mind. His legs were spread, sitting comfortably in the chair, one of his arms draped over the arm of the chair, while he rested his elbow with the other one, holding his head up with his thumb and index finger on the side of his tilted head.

He regarded you silently, his eyes dazed, and you wondered if it could possibly be because he was feeling the same exact way as you right now.

Bucky was struggling to think straight, scrunching his face up in frustration when he finally snapped out of his daze, the frustration completely different to what he was feeling before, now he just couldn't get the image of your thighs out of his mind, or the black thigh garter you still wore under your dress.

God, you drive him fucking crazy.

You chewed the inside of your cheek when he sighed again, "Buck, you need to chill out. I know Kozlov is a fucking asshole, but we expected that. We got the mission done with no big issues."

He stared up at the ceiling, feeling so guilty that he was looking at you that way, thinking about you in that way, especially after the reminder of Kozlov and how undoubtedly uncomfortable he must've made you feel.

"I know, I just hate feeling powerless. That prick was touching you and saying horrible shit and I just stood there-"

"Bucky."

He huffed a breath and opened his eyes, only to be met with the beautiful sight of you stood before him, only a few feet away, your dress clinging to all the right places and your eyes locked to his and he felt a familiar heat stirring up inside him again. He stared up at you as if you were a heaven-sent angel.

The tension in the room was so thick, and you both knew why, though neither of you had the guts to admit, nor say anything about it.

Your intentions were pure at first, and for some reason, on the way towards where he was sitting, you never thought about the very un-pure version of your actions until you were stood in front of him, barely thinking about it when you sunk to your knees before him, your hands resting just above his knees on his spread legs.

At first, you told yourself it was because you wanted to talk to him properly, make sure he was okay, and that included you being on his level physically, but now you realised it was mostly because you so desperately wanted to see him like this, his gaze heated, looking down at you between his thighs with parted lips.

It didn't matter that you were the one on your knees, you'd never felt more powerful.

His gaze was unwavering, the intense, lustful look in his eyes alone had you clenching your thighs together as you thought about your next move, and Bucky lifted one of his hands towards your face, brushing the back of his fingers down your cheek, just as Kozlov had done earlier, though this touch was completely different, and your eyes fluttered shut, a sigh escaping you as his fingers caressed your cheek, ridding the memory of Kozlov's cold skin against yours with his soft, warm touch, and you pulled your eyes open to meet his again, lifting your hand to take hold of his.

You looked down at the rings he was wearing, one on almost each finger, apparently it was a common style choice from James Walter, and it wasn't the first time tonight that you'd silently thanked the dead mobster for that fact.

They'd been catching your eye all night, and you lifted his knuckles to your lips, placing a kiss against the smooth metal of the first one on his index finger, and then the next one, and the next.

Bucky watched you kiss his rings, his eyes darkening with every touch of your soft lips to his knuckles, so entranced by you, slowly sinking further into the seat, melting with each touch.

He couldn't think of any repercussions right now, couldn't think of a single reason to stop you, all he could think about was what you were doing to him right now, and where these actions could lead you, and his pants were getting tighter by the second.

You met his eyes with your lips still on his knuckles, and you both immediately knew what this was, where this could be going, and that the thick tension between you, was sexual tension like no other.

Bucky's heart must've stopped when you opened his fist and slipped his index and middle finger past your lips, enveloping them in the hot, wetness of your mouth, your soft tongue circling over his digits, sucking on them, He couldn't help but groan, leaning his head back, though still keeping his half-lidded eyes on you.

"Fuck, doll. So fuckin' gorgeous."

You weren't thinking straight, you must not've been, because why the hell would you be doing this, why was it something you didn't even have to question, why did it feel so natural, and so fucking right.

The words that slipped past his lips were doing things to you, and the way that his fingers pressed down on your tongue slightly, but weren't nearly as heavy against it as something else you wanted on your tongue would be, you were a goner, and your underwear was already soaked.

You pulled his fingers from your mouth but kept hold of them as you crawled onto his lap, his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, holding you to him, his lips so close to yours you were sharing breath.

Slowly, you guided his fingers down, sliding them under the slit in your dress to bring them to your covered core, watching his facial expression intently, watching for any sign of discomfort.

There was none, and his breath caught in his throat when his fingers made contact, the heat of you radiating against his hand, he could already feel how wet you are.

"Fuck." He breathed, eyebrows furrowing, forehead resting on yours, "You sure about this sweetheart? You want me to touch you?"

You nodded immediately, biting your lower lip, pressing his hand against you harder, "Yes. Are you sure?"

He nodded back, "Never been more sure about anything in my fuckin' life."

You moaned when he finally started moving his fingers, circling your clit gently over your underwear, though with enough pressure to give some sort of relief, but it was when he pulled your panties aside, and dipped his fingers into your wetness, spreading your folds and gathering your slick, before pressing his fingers against your clit and rubbing you in tighter circles, that you were a mess in his lap.

"Bucky-" You whimpered, rolling your hips slightly, and he licked his lips again, nudging his nose against yours, wanting so desperately to kiss you, but also not wanting to miss a single expression you made, he wanted to watch you fall apart under his touch, again, and again, and again.

"You know something, sweetheart?" He asked, waiting for confirmation that you were paying attention to him before continuing.

You rolled your hips again, staring into his eyes, moaning out in pleasure, "What?"

"You drove me fucking crazy tonight, every time you touched me, every time you looked at me- God, whenever you said my name- I'd never heard you call me that before, my first name, fuck I don't ever want to stop hearin' you callin' me that."

His words made you dizzy, the confirmation that he'd felt the same as you all night, the confession that he loved it when you called him 'James' just as much as you loved calling him it, you were sinking deeper and deeper into this feeling, that this moment couldn't be more right, more necessary, like you'd both been needing this for months now.

By the time he had finished talking, he had slowed his touch to a complete stop, and dipped his fingers lower, pushing them inside you.

You gasped, he groaned, and when he curled them, finding that sweet spot inside you and pushing against it perfectly, you cried out, dropping your forehead to his shoulder and tucking your face in his neck.

He didn't let up with his gentle thrusting, and the insistent rubbing against that spongy spot inside of your cunt. He used his free hand to move your head from his shoulder, leaning himself forward slightly, holding you closer, and finally kissing you.

You whimpered and moaned against his lips, though returned the kiss passionately, both of your hands in his hair, your tongue gliding against his own.

This was unlike any experience you'd ever had, every touch dialled up to 100.

He used his thumb to rub your clit, still curling and rubbing his fingers against your walls, and when you started to clench down on him, he pulled back from the kiss.

"C'mon, kitten, cum on my fingers like a good girl." He purred, and your head tilted back, moaning as you came, your orgasm only spurred on quicker by his words.

"James-" You whimpered, his touch not letting up as he pleasured you through your orgasm, though when you were through most of it, you crashed your lips to his.

You kissed until you ran out of breath, doing exactly what you had wanted to do earlier, what you had wanted to do for months. Bucky gently eased his fingers out of you, and when you tucked your face in his neck again, catching your breath, you could tell he was sucking them clean, moaning at the taste of you.

It was quiet for a moment between you, only the gentle sound of your slightly laboured breath filling the space, Bucky held you close to him, his fingers gently tracing up and down your spine through the fabric of your dress, you gave a pleased hum and kissed his neck, just above his collar.

It didn't matter that you'd just barely come down from an orgasm, you needed more, you needed him.

"James." You whispered against his neck, just below his ear and he just about melted into the chair beneath you, humming to let you know he was listening, though you didn't say anything else, a part of you just wanted to say his name again, and to feel his pleased reaction to it.

His body was so warm under yours, but there were far too many layers of fabric between you and him and you desperately wanted to fix that, 'adjusting' yourself on his lap just so you could provide some friction between you, biting your lip and sighing into his ear when you felt how hard he was beneath you, he groaned and gripped your hips tightly.

"I wanna feel you inside me, James." Your voice was as sweet as sugar, breath warm against his skin, and your heated core was seated just above where his hard cock was pressing tightly against his pants, throbbing with every small movement you made.

"Fuck, sweetheart." He husked, no doubt sounding like a broken record, though he didn't care much about that, not when you were pressing yourself against him like that, slowly rocking in his lap, not when he could still faintly taste you in his mouth from where he had sucked his fingers clean, not with your mouth on his neck, whispering dirty things.

You kissed the hinge of his jaw, then ghosted your lips lower, pressing a kiss just below his ear, before making your way to the other side, leaving sweet kisses as you went.

You met his eye as you traced your hand up his black shirt, watching his expression as you slowly loosened his tie, and popped the top button open, and then the next, giving yourself better access to the skin there, kissing below his Adam's apple.

"C'mon, Buck. You wanna fuck me?" You asked, looking up at him through your lashes this time, teasing him with a smirk.

He bit his lip, holding your cheek in his palm, thumb swiping across your cheekbone, his eyes darting across your face, taking in every detail he could while he was so close to you.

So pretty.

"I do, of course I do, doll." He said back, his eyes following the movement of his thumb against soft skin. You could sense the 'but' coming, "But... I don't think we should-"

"Bucky." You interrupted, stopping what you know would've become this huge, self-doubting, self-sabotaging speech, and he met your eyes again, sighing slightly, his head tilted, "If we both want this, then why can't we have it?"

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't imagine a world were someone would really want him, as he was, much less a smart, loving and kind, beautiful girl like yourself. He believed you when you said you wanted this, but was still unsure if you would really want him, want him beyond this moment.

"If we go further, I'll never be able to get enough of you." He spoke quietly, this moment between you was so intimate, which was something he'd not experienced in decades. It was terrifying, but so perfect, so right. 

"You have all of me, Bucky. I want you, not just tonight. I've wanted you for months, honey, and if you want me too then what have we got to lose? You can have me whenever you need me, whenever you want me, I'm yours, yours now, yours tomorrow. If you need a hug," You wrapped your arms around his neck as you spoke and held him tighter, "If you need a kiss," You pressed your lips to his, "If you need a release; I'll be there, because you have me, always have."

By the time you were just halfway into your speech, Bucky was a puddle, his brain short-circuiting, his heart beating much faster than it should be with him just sitting, and his whole world view collapsing.

You were his.

You wanted to be his.

He was yours completely.

He surged forward to press his lips to yours, and kissed you for a long moment, using his tongue to memorise the feel of your mouth, the heat of your own tongue against his, and he stood as he kissed you, holding you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He carried you with such ease and sat down on the edge of the huge bed, not once breaking the kiss, or putting an ounce space between your bodies.

You helped him to shrug off his suit jacket, tossing it to the floor as if it didn't probably cost hundreds of dollars, and deft fingers quickly reached to undo his tie.

The tie was silky and smooth, and your imagination was bright with ideas, the image of Bucky fucking you, with your hands tied above your head, or maybe tying Bucky up just the same, kissing his cock teasingly, without letting him touch you.

You tabled the ideas for now, tossing the tie aside.

You could experiment with him in due time, for now you just wanted to be able to touch him as much as possible.

You were both still enraptured in the kiss when Bucky stood again, this time turning around, and laying you down on the mattress, pressing himself against you as he placed one last kiss on your lips, and pulled back to admire the sight of you, blushing with kiss-bitten lips as you lay beneath him.

He traced his hands down your body and stood at the end of the bed, his shirt almost halfway undone.

His fingers glided down your legs, and ended at your ankles as he eyed the strappy heals you wore, admiring how beautiful you looked in them. He imagined keeping them on you, stripping you down and bending you over the closest surface, whilst still wearing the heels, maybe keeping on the thigh-garter too, but he wanted you comfortable, and he wanted you naked.

Gently, he undid the strap on one of your heels, and slowly pulled it off, before doing the same to the other one.

He kept glancing up at you as he did so, watching you so intently, he didn't dare miss a single moment, a single change in your expression.

His hands traced back up your legs, this time, he kissed his way up too, kissing you ankle, your shin, just below the garter.

He stopped himself though, and looked you in the eyes, that serious look returning, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes. Please, James."

He smirked, he couldn't not, and his hand drifted to your hip, squeezing there, before using both his hands to flip you over, leaning over you and pressing his hand against your back.

You gasped in surprise, and then felt his fingers against the zip of the dress, his breath against the nape of your neck.

"Should we take this off?" He asked sweetly, and you nodded silently, your voice trapped in your throat, that cocky, dominant persona you had taken on earlier apparently about to be fucked out of you. You couldn't wait.

He flipped you back over to help ease the dress off, leaving you only in a lacy pair of underwear, your chest exposed to him, and once the dress was on the floor, and Bucky allowed himself the chance to finally look at you, he groaned roughly, draping his body over yours and reaching up to caress your breasts, watching as his thumb traced over the hardened peaks of your nipples, "So fucking gorgeous."

Your hands were in his hair, back arching into his touch when he took your nipple into his mouth, paying attention to the other one with his fingers, and as much as you were enjoying it, he was still wearing way too much, and you put your fingers under his chin, pulling his mouth away from you.

He kissed you as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it off, quickly followed by his pants and soon you were both left in your underwear.

You pushed at his shoulder, and he eventually got the memo, and rolled aside, letting you sit on top of him, carefully moving the dagger you had left on the bed onto the bedside table.

When you pulled back from the kiss, he continued to kiss down your chest, but your eyes drifted to the hand he had on your waist, the left one, that still looked like skin even though it wasn't.

You had almost completely forgotten about it, it felt just like skin, was warm like skin, and looked unbelievably life-like, but there was something about it that you really didn't like, it wasn't him, it might've been once, but as Bucky has told you before, he's not been the man he was back in the 40s in over seventy years, and he probably wouldn't ever be him again, which you reminded him was okay, that he didn't owe Steve the version of himself that Bucky thought he would need.

You knew about the struggles Bucky has had with his metal arm, the history that there is behind it, and the hatred he had for it when he was first rehabilitated. You didn't want this impressive Stark invention to become something he used to hide this part of himself, against the needs of his own healing.

You started at his left shoulder, and traced your fingers down the arm, stopping at the silver watch on his wrist, and Bucky stopped kissing you, watching you, waiting.

"Is it the watch?" You asked, and he hesitated, before nodding.

"You don't have to take it off."

You paused, looking down at him, he looked slightly uncomfortable, and you needed to change that.

"I'd like to take it off. Do you want to leave it on?"

He was quiet for a moment, thinking about your question. It made him uncomfortable, seeing the uncanny, flesh arm in place of the metal one he knew was there, and to see a human arm, yet not be able to really feel the touch of your skin against it, only pressure and heat. He didn't like it.

He shook his head, and you smiled, kissing him again as you carefully undid the watch with your mouth still on his, pulling back to see his metal arm visible again, and you intertwined your fingers with his, metal against skin.

You did the same with his other hand, intertwining your fingers, before lifting them both above his head, pressing them into the mattress. You knew he could very easily break out of your grasp, but that didn't make the sight any less pleasing.

You rocked your hips against his, just as you did before, and he groaned, lifting his own hips, seeking more friction.

Reluctantly, you released his hands, and quickly took off your underwear, leaving you naked above him, before you took his off too.

You couldn't possibly be any wetter, your inner thighs a mess of slick as you watched his cock slap against his stomach, painfully hard and leaking at the tip.

"Fuck, James. D'you know how beautiful you are?" You asked, slowly touching the underside of his cock, tracing an enticing vein, before gripping him in your hand and squeezing him.

A moan slipped past his lips, hips lifting from the bed again.

He shook his head in response to you, smiling, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

He flipped you both over again, his hands tracing your body, lingering in certain areas, squeezing your breasts, caressing your stomach, lifting your thigh to rest on his hip, dipping between your legs to press down on your clit, "You're fuckin' breathtaking, doll, and so fucking wet."

He gathered some of your wetness on his fingers, and dipped them back into his mouth again for a taste, moaning around them.

"I wanna eat you so bad, kitten." He lowered himself to you, resting on his elbows on either side of your head, kissing your neck.

"Later. I need you inside me, James." You pressed your core against him, and he nodded, reaching between the two of you to line himself up, slowly easing inside.

You both moaned as he slid inside you, Bucky's eyes fluttering shut, savouring the sensation whilst trying desperately hard not to give in to the urge to immediately bury himself at the hilt, and fuck you without a moments hesitation.

His hips twitched, cock throbbing inside of you, both of you were so desperate for this, and when he finally pulled his hips back, and rolled them back to yours, it was relief like no other.

His first few thrusts were slower, so enraptured by how you felt around him, hot and wet, and fucking perfect. Eventually, he started to speed up, but favoured fucking you harder, rather than faster. He didn't want this to end too quickly.

You were sprawled beneath him, biting your lower lip and moaning with every stroke of his cock against your walls, his body completely draped over yours so with every roll of his hips, his pelvis stimulated your clit. When he started to fuck you harder, repeatedly hitting a spot deep inside you that made you see stars, you were crying out in pleasure, already feeling close to another orgasm.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you feel so good, y'know that? I'm never gonna get enough of this, gonna want to fuck you all the time, 'm never gonna think of anything else." His forehead was resting on your shoulder, one of his hands on your stomach as his other held him up on the bed, "I want you to be mine. Mine to fuck, mine to kiss, mine every minute of the day. God, I want everyone to know, sweetheart, want them to know you're James' girl."

You were moaning with every word, nodding along, whining when his hand drifted lower, his thumb hovering over your clit, but staying completely still, teasing you.

Your heart was so full, just like your cunt, and you hoped to god he'd follow through on his promises, you needed to be his, just as much as you needed him to be yours.

"James, please." You begged, arching your back into him, and he lifted his head from your shoulder to look at you, smiling with a shake of his head.

"You beg real pretty, doll, but you can do better than that. Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

Your eyes practically rolled back, fuck, you loved hearing him talk like this, "I want to cum, please."

He nodded, leaning in close to you, "You want to cum? I'll let you cum, princess."

He began to rub your clit in steady circles, keeping up a steady rhythm that dragged you so close to release.

"C'mon, come for me, sweetheart."

Your eyes fluttered shut as your orgasm rushed over you, and you gripped Bucky's hair tighter, your cunt clenching around him sending him head first into his own orgasm, his hips stuttering against yours as he came inside you, filling you up with his seed.

His forehead was pressed to yours, both of you slowly coming down from your high, and Bucky waited till you'd caught your breath to lean down and kiss you, slower this time, savouring the taste of you as best he could.

You kissed him back eagerly, aftershocks of your orgasm washing over you and making you clench down on him, still inside of you. Bucky groaned into your mouth, before he hesitantly broke the kiss, and leaned back to slide out of you.

"Fuck, sweetheart, such a fucking mess we made." He breathed roughly, glancing down between your legs, watching his cum seep out of you, so turned on by the filthy sight, before looking up at you again, tracing his eyes up your body, completely bared to him. He took in every detail, and smiled at your flushed cheeks, "You're so fucking beautiful."

You smiled back at him, shaking your head as you wrapped your legs around him and reached out, pulling him back down to you to nudge your nose against his, watching the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled, "So are you."

He huffed a laugh and kissed you, before burying his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you and holding you as close to him as possible, practically laying completely on top of you, though he held most of his own weight. As much as you would completely, happily welcome the weight of him on top of you, you also know that breathing is kind of a necessary thing to survive... sadly.

"We need to shower." He murmured against your skin, rubbing his stubbly jaw against your shoulder.

You hummed and nodded, raking your nails across the surface of his back.

"We should probably talk too." He followed, keeping his face hidden from your sight.

"We should, but I don't think there's much to talk about that we haven't already. We both want each other, and not just physically."

He lifted his head and gazed down at you, his expression vulnerable, more vulnerable than you'd ever seen him, even with him naked above you, "So... like lovers?"

You smiled at the old-fashioned term, much preferring it to boyfriend and girlfriend, and you nodded, gently brushing hair from his face, "I'd love that, Buck, if you want that too?"

"Yes, I want that, so much."

"Good, let's make it official then."

He nodded smiling down at you, before he stood from the bed, and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you to the hotel en-suite like he had carried you to the bed earlier.

"You're my girl now, sweetheart." He whispered to your ear, loving the way it sounded on his lips.

"And you're my guy." You replied, kissing his nose.

"Sure am." He smiled proudly, setting you down on the bathroom sink as he turned the shower on, before he turned back to you, leaning on his hands, which rested either side of you, "I will be taking you out on a date when we get back, just so you know."

"I can't wait, baby."

[skyrislunaflower]

Siciria Analyzes The Most Complex Stick Figures Known To Man (part 1)

SPOILERS FOR AVA / AVM / INFLUENCER ARC SERIES

READ AT UR OWN RISK

Also here's part 2

I was rewatching Influencer Arc Ep 1 because the music slays, and the fight choreography is just awesome.

*cut to Siciria chilling*

But then I noticed this;

So, to those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, I noticed that Blue just kind of waits there for a moment before going in to help Red. I wondered why, because throughout the series, these stick figures are shown to have really quick reaction times in these kinds of moments.

But then it hit me; it's about personality.

So then I decided to do a deep analysis of Blue's character, which is probably going to be the first of five parts (maybe even more) where I deep dive into everyone's traits and flaws and whatnot.

-

Here goes...

So, we've seen Blue as more of the pacifist assistant. He likes plants, netherwart, potions, and cooking. You don't really see him being the first to instigate something, or the star of a fight. Heck, even in the Raid episode, it's more focused on Yellow and the command block staff than him.

But we do see more of an aggressive trait as well, in that sometimes, he acts without thinking.

LIKE THE LAVA. HE DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT AND JUMPED INTO STICKING LAVA. WOW. WOWOWOW. WOWOWOW.

But, what startles me, is that even though he'll self-sacrificially jump to save someone, and follow someone without thinking, and needs someone to ground him (usually Yellow), there are also times where he just freezes. Like in the Influencer Arc. He freezes when Red is getting beat up by the clones, before shooting at them. His brain takes a second (hehe) to catch up.

And here, too. Yellow is making a plan, where Blue's emotions are overriding any sort of thought.

...BUT AT THE SAME TIME, we also see those two things coalesce together for the better. We see him take action instead of freezing, and actually think about what he's doing as well. And this moment in the battle against the King goes kind of unnoticed, in my opinion, since there were so many hard fighting sequences and emotional stakes.

LIKE WHAT THE STICK. HE LED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE INTO WAR, AND THEY WERE ACTUALLY ABLE TO HOLD THEIR OWN AND CAUSE THE PILLAGERS TO RUN AWAY WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CONTEXT OR PRIOR TRAINING (albeit before they came back with the evoker and illusioner)

But we also don't talk about how much he assists everyone else. Like here. Green would have gone flying twice if Blue didn't have the presence of mind to brace him.

I saw a comment under the video calling Blue the MVP of the fight against Greenscreen. And while I do harbor the opinion that everyone contributed a lot to the win (and don't really agree with the comment, as Green, Yellow, Red, and Second contributed so much too), you can't deny that he assisted everyone frequently during the fight, and was a key part of success.

Blue's character arc is something we don't really talk about much as a fandom, but there are truly some moments which are, like, really cool.

And the most important one of all, of course.

Bluecifer "Elsa" Blonde. (my fanmade name, tell me if u like it!)

#slayqueen

EDIT AS OF 9/24/24:

There's also something else I noticed. Blue is shown to be able to keep track of a lot of things at the same time as well, like the positioning of his friends in a battle, and enhance them properly. He knows exactly what they need and can deliver it to them.

In the Witch, when he arms himself with potions and starts fighting, he has the presence of mind to turn his friends into animals that can stop the witch. For example, when Red is about to strike, he turns him into a golem for it to pack more punch. It's truly amazing, because he was able to pinpoint that that was about to happen before it did.

And even with himself, when the witch started shapeshifting, he did too. He knew exactly which mob would combat which, and he might have won if he hadn't run out.

[archandshri]

28th June ‘24 - [arch] One Page Limitation??? - My process for Traffic Zine #5

Hello All!

A couple months ago, I got accepted to @trafficzine, a digital anthology of pieces by a large group of artists and writers based on the most recent season of the Life Series. I made this piece back in April, but thankfully I kept some notes of my process. 

Heads up - this contains spoilers for Secret Life :D

We were able to choose our own prompt from a list! For this project, I wanted to push my comic making - especially how to communicate a lot of information in a small space. I went through and watched a few clips from the series to see which prompt would fit a comic and settled on Scott’s death.

As usual, I began by getting some reference images and going ham on some big paper. This gets me excited about the project and helps generate ideas. I go for whatever interests me in terms of medium and subject matter, but I try to use a process that doesn’t let me control too much (in this case brush and ink)

initial sketches for fun and vibes :D

During this, I also took the time to transcribe the scene - I wanted to use the dialogue directly, and see how much I could fit into the single page that I was allowed for the zine.

In these early planning stages I make sure to do warm-up sketches to remind myself of the energy I want to communicate. This also keeps things fun and fresh so I'm not ONLY thinking about page composition and making things 'good'. (the expectation for it to be 'good' kills a project prove me wrong)

Dialogue from the clip + warm up sketches

Next up, I started to plan what panels I have on the page. At this stage, some panels might just be a box with some words, and some may have a sketch if I have a clear composition in mind. This stage is mostly for pacing and plot, so instead of focusing on what the panel and page will look like, I will think about:

what will happen in the panel

it's purpose and

what it will communicate

Sometimes I'll illustrate a string of panels that tell the story and fit them on a page after - but this depends on the project and my confidence with the size of it.

After messing around with these and coming up with a pretty clear direction, I draw a bunch of boxes to see how the panels could sit nicely together. At this stage I might realise I have too many panels, and need to cut a few or come up with a creative solution. Nothing is set in stone at this point.

sketching panel layouts

Now begins the fun! I decide on the layout I prefer and I can start putting planned compositions into the boxes. I often do this digitally, or a digital editing process will be involved.

Once planned, I print these out to do a more refined sketch over. I find that my traditional drawings have a lot more life and character to them than digital ones, so I try to keep the majority of the process traditional, with passes of scanning and digital editing.

I tried a version with her looking out at the distance - ready to face the oncoming battle. But it still felt off. So I turned to my slides to ask myself some questions!!

I tried to think of more things that were working - but I really felt like it was lacking a lot. I was going for this slower emotional feeling because that came more naturally to me, but it just wasn't working for this image. The original clip is quite rushed and chaotic - which would be harder to communicate in a comic format but the challenge interested me. Either way, I knew I wasn't happy with this direction so... i decided to start from scratch! Back to the drawing board!!!

In the previous version, I had cut out a lot of the dialogue, but I decided to go back to the original clip and use AS MUCH as possible. Since passing the bow was my favourite part of that first composition, I really wanted to lean into it as the emotional height and final goodbye before Scott's death. It's a moment to slow down and absorb the vibes :D

I made a list of panels along with their descriptions to refer to when trying to figure out the order of panels. there were SO MANY and it was VERY CONFUSING when they were too small to read.

These thumbnails were super small and would not have made sense without my list, I swear.

I printed this tiny thumbnail out at A4, so I could sketch over it and get a clearer sense of flow. Then began a loooong process of printing out tiny photocopies and rearranging the panels to be legible. It was a difficult balance of communicating busyness while making sure the hierarchy/reading order made sense.

After some tweaking, i printed out an A3 copy to draw my panel borders and text.

Doing this on a separate piece of paper means I don't have to worry so much about messing up the text or borders when drawing the characters. This allows me to be more free and expressive with my illustration.

Woah! Quick trip back in time!! During the thumbnailing process I drew these warm up sketches! I looooved the way the linework came out. I drew this on an A3 piece of paper - and the shocked Gem would, in theory, be one of the smallest panels. So I decided to do a crazy thing.

I touched up the sketch digitally, compiling some of my favourite warm up sketches, some traditional sketches made for the panels, and filling the rest in digitally. Then I printed this image out in QUATERS at A3!! This meant the final sketch layer, printed out was A1!! (aka very large, considering the final file would be at A4, about 8x smaller)

I did this so I could get fairly small detailed lines with my pencil while being quite expressive and firm with my mark-making. Slowly, I dlined all of the panels traditionally and scanned them in. Then I assembled the finished linework on Photoshop, along with the text and panel borders and got to colouring :D

final linework :D

For colouring, I played a little bit with halftone but I found the texture made it feel a bit too busy - the panels are already doing enough. Because of this, I also decided to use a limited colour palette. Here are some images of the colouring process, which I won't go into today.

I'm really happy with how this came out - I think it captures the chaos of the moment, while taking time to linger on the emotion of it. Keeping that bow moment really made it, I think.

I think the last panel is still quite weak. Earlier in the process there was a low-angle shot of Gem about to kill Scott which may have been more powerful, but I think I was struggling with my actual drawing skill when it comes to perspective. A lot of learning how to draw, and in particular with comics, is about knowing where your skills are at, how to utilise them best and how to test and push them.

I'm glad that I started again, instead of finishing that composition I wasn't happy with. It was a tough project but I learnt sooooo much from it, and it's been essential skill-building for.... the current comic I'm working on (stay tuned!!! :0) Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! Go check out @trafficzine and look at all the other cool art Cool vibes and silly men,

Archie :D

[fernsnailz]

HI . GET ON THE DISSECTION TABLE. taking your brain RIGHT NOW OH MY GODDDDD. OH MY god ,,, everything in the zine,,,,,

obviously the quality of your work, the art itself is so good ,,,, but OUGHHGGGGHGH i need to bang my head into a wall until im unconscious . like the title itself, starting off . woe mama we are in for a fucked up roboty treat . your comps . your writing . in the most respectful and awestuck tone possible . i need to kill you

my favorite i think is how you draw gemerl ,, all the robots you nail their expressiveness but oughh ,, him in particular makes me kick my feet . 'you are everything i fear becoming' makes me actually tear the fucking floorboards up the themes of autonomy ,,,,,, ,,, and how you storytell through your comic panels,,, the 'what a fool you are to think the doctor is gone' panel set makes me drink 2 Monsters and eat glass

THE . THE IMPOSSIBLE GOAL COMIC RAGHHHHHH. FAV FAV FAV . geninely shaking and trembling looking at it like jesus thats so fucked up ,,, your mind . your writing is so everything !! i would love to get any insight for how you workshop it because it is consistently breathtaking it sticks with me so heavily,,, one time i accidentally stole a line of dialogue word for word from your Never turn back zine comic and had to change it dfhjd,,,,, (wow this line is so cool ! ...a little toooo cool. squint.) but yeah god the last comic wow,, your panel compositions are banger after banger you are so good at consistently writing evocative stuff,,, tragic, rlly funny, hopeful, its so inspirational

thank u so much for putting together such a cool zine, would love to have it physically one day !

GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS EDIT IS KILLING ME. this is such a rewarding ask to get, i'm so glad you picked up on these things!!

my writing work shopping style is. hm. a bit all over the place. i have a lot of thoughts about it i'll put under a cut if you're interested. there's a lot of little things i've picked up that help me out so so much that i would really love to share!

ok FIRST i should note that it took me so goddamn long to write this thing. like i had the very very VERY first concepts for metal sonic good future like. a year ago. the first scrawlings are literally in a notebook right after some thumbnails i was using for dance in fire and i was editing dialogue up until two days ago. i'm ill

BUT!!! there are a few things i like to keep in mind when i write/edit that have really helped me!

GET OTHER PEOPLE TO READ YOUR STUFF. ESSENTIAL STEP. i get stuck in holes with my work a lot and having beta readers and other eyes on this thing made it like a million times better

sometimes you have to kill your baby. there will be certain lines or moments that you ADORE that simply don't fit into the larger piece, and you gotta just cut it out to make it better sometimes. but usually this gives birth to an even cooler and more epic baby. or sometimes your killed baby is also resurrected later to be used in a different scene. does this make any sense

figuring out what emotion you want a scene to make people feel is very important - with this in mind, i also pay really close attention to how my writing or scene concepts make me feel physically. i think this is the thing that has helped me most with work shopping anything i want to be evocative. does a line make me tense my jaw? make my teeth vibrate? make my chest tight? do i suddenly feel the blood in my hands? if it makes me feel something within my body, i try to draw on that physical sensation when forming the rest of the scene.

ok this last one is. stupid. as i was wrapping up this thing i went through a final edit phase i'd call "Garten of Banban Vision." Garten of Banban is an indie horror game that has uhhh kinda mid dialogue. a lot of it focuses on exposition, and any emotion in it feels a bit hollow. with this in mind, i read through everything one last time and imagined like all of the lines were from a Garten of Banban game and spoken in the character's monotone voices. if the line felt like it could fit a little too well in the Garten of Banban world, i considered editing it. but if i started thinking "oh shit this is pretty good for a Garten of Banban game" i knew it was fine. do you understand what i was alluding to when i said my writing process is a bit all over the place

in conclusion. writing hard

[onlycosmere]

Editing

tahollow: I always wondered exactly what editing was, but I figured it was more of making sure things align with the main focus of the story/characters instead of truncating the novel.

Brandon Sanderson: There's really three big stages to editing.

1) Substantive Editing. This is usually the editor reading the book and offering an "Editorial Letter." The editor often doesn't leave any marks on the manuscript in this stage, but instead writes everything out on the large scale. They might offer suggestions for improvement, but more often than not, they just highlight the problem areas and ask you to rethink them or ask for more clarity. Sometimes, you'll do a call an explain what you were trying, and you'll bounce ideas off each other of how to better achieve it.

I have four people usually doing substantive edits with me. Devi at Tor. Gillian from the UK. Peter from my own company. And Karen, my continuity editor. All are seeing the book early, and all are making large-scale notes about problems to work on. (Karen's focus is on continuity first--large scale continuity like timing of days, and comparisons to previous books. The others don't worry about that much, and focus on things like character arcs and structure.)

2) Line editing. When I had Moshe, he did both substantive and line editing. These days, Gillian is our primary line editor, and she does a second pass to cover this after doing her substantive editorial letter. She's a very good line editor, by the way. This is the "Make the page bleed" type thing you might hear of an editor doing. They go through and try to help you clarify. During this stage, they will trim, though the focus is on helping you find the right words, identify trouble sentences, and the like. Gillian usually has a handful (four or five) of these per page, depending. Some pages have none. Some have more. Tightening IS a focus during this stage, but it's again more about clarity.

After this stage, I do my own revision where--with a spreadsheet and wordcounts in hand--I cut 10-15% of the book, line by line, to really condense and make it pop. This is where I pay attention to language most. If I'm writing a book with a strong voice and distinctive prose, like one of Hoid's novels, I look to really implement it here. If I'm trying something more clear and concise, where I want character voice to dominate not narrative voice, I really try to get the writer to vanish here and let the character and story reign.

Because of this, I can track exactly how much I trimmed from Wind and Truth.

3) After this, a separate set of editors take over. The copy editor is focused on maintaining a style guide and making sure that there aren't line-level contradictions in the book. (Did you say his eyes were green here, and blue in a different chapter?) A copy editor is also a "first line" proofreader. They aren't supposed to make, or suggest, sweeping changes--at this point, the page numbers and the like of the book are getting locked in for pre production.

Peter Ahlstrom, my editorial VP, oversees this. I make changes during this stage, but when I do, he actually puts them into the text. He then works with the proofreaders, doing multiple passes.

So, not counting beta readers and alpha readers, I have five main editors on a Stormlight book.

Devi

Gillian

Peter

Karen

And Terry (our primary copyeditor.)

Each has a different role, though all of them but Terry offer a lot of substantive changes.

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 9

(I wanted to eat a cake when the episode started and I ended up sitting through the entire first scene holding it in front of my open mouth like a 🤡, it was so embarrassing when I caught myself doing it. Yep, DFF everybody! I was so invested that I couldn't watch and chew at the same time)

This is the 9th episode of this series that I rated 🔟, this series is really something else. There are still 3 episodes left, the series is devoting more and more time to what is happening in the present time and I'm starting to worry whether... 3 episodes is too much? Won't the endings get dragged? Will it stick the landing? My anxiety is 📈.

I love how this series is run, how natural it flows, how it jumps smoothly in "time and space" without being chaotic and incomprehensible. The narration, editing, pacing are 10/10. (But unlike the plot, my thoughts are very chaotic, as seen below lol)

It's amazing how everything that happens can be described as the butterfly effect. How Top's stupid smashing of the camera set off a chain of events that ended in the destruction of the entire family and a heartbreaking tragedy. I like how sharply focused Tan is (I'll just call him Tan, I'm lazy), how he's fully willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING, how he makes sure that Phee doesn't desecrate Non's memory with a new relationship.. It seems to me that Tan doesn't tell Phee everything because 1) someone stretched the wire that killed Deng 🤔 2) he doesn't seem particularly concerned about Por being dead 🙂

I like how in Phee's relationship with Jin, Tan makes Phee feel guilty, treating him as Non's boyfriend and how Phee does it to himself too. I once heard someone say in regards to romantic relationships, that it is impossible for new feelings to be born without the death of old ones. And this is another thing I love about DFF: they show the complexity of human feelings, including something as complicated as the fading of an old love and the emergence of a new one, the feeling of guilt associated with it, the feeling of having to hold on to the flame of memory and feelings towards the old love that has not ended normally, that could have been hurt, that could have been a victim, so these feelings are somehow "obligatory" for that old love, plus a sense of guilt and agony, because there is a probability that the new love could have once hurt the old love…

We can also say that the series explained why it all took 3 years. As predicted, it turns out that they couldn't get anything out of the boys, who usually just cut off their conversations and left. Then they all finished school, Phee and Tan had no results (because they're also, only boys, Tan couldn't do anything on his own, and Phee, well, he was distracted) and they simply went away to their studies, maybe different universities and the catalysts that accelerated the events now were: 1) the traumatic death of Tan's parents, which left him with nothing to lose, he probably also went a little crazy 2) Jin leaving the country 3) a unique opportunity of gathering everyone in one place

What I also really like is the realistic approach to the tiring, old trope that lying to loved ones "for their good" or for some "secret mission" that is supposed to bring happiness to everyone actually ends badly - unlike some series I have watched recently 🙄 DFF approached it realistically and clearly showed that people lied to by their loved ones, suffer a lot and feel betrayed to the point of not wanting to continue contact with someone who "wanted only good for them."

Questions: Photo of Non and Keng - they are in the clothes from their kidnapping, so the photo must have been taken then and only now given to the press/corrupt police to mislead, or it is photoshopped. Anyway, these are not new photos, and Keng looks safe and sound, the photo is taken from the back and he doesn't look like someone after a car accident. How did Tan get into school? After all, a student has some papers from the previous school, no one suddenly appears at a school and starts going there??? The series shows Tan under the influence of his psychedelic drug, with him having blurry visions and acting obviously drugged. However, when they are in the house and also under the influence of drugs, they act quite normal and only have clear visions, and surprisingly everyone has similar visions (except Jin, who also sees Keng). But apart from that, no psychedelia, strange colors or blurred image. And why would White also have a vision of the masked killer?

Finally, two comments: The sex scene - my jaw dropped, I didn't expect it, I didn't expect them to go all the way. This scene (as well as the entire series so far) shows how incredibly compatible and harmonious Phee and Jin are. (Now there are no more excuses that a decent sex scene can't be done in other BL series lol) I'm vibrating seeing how Tan is happy with what's happening even with Por's death. This is real, pure hatred, I hope they won't fuck it up and Tan won't "convert to goodness, love and brotherhood" and become "good" and "forgiving" and "a better person than them". I like how the show shows action and reaction and sticks to it. The entire logical progression of events is shown, from that stupid camera through Non's fall, the tragic deaths of Non and Tan's parents, ending with Tan standing with a smile over the chaos unfolding before his eyes. And yes. Including the fatalities. I'm vibrating.

My favorite moment, no surprise 😍

Forgive the quality of the photo, but Ta has such a great body, muscular, but in a natural, casual style 😍

[rustedleopard]

uty ship headcanons? Your character analysis are all really great and I like reading them so feel free to rant if you want.

I'm not really much of a shipper. Usually when I engage with a story I'm more interested in stuff like themes or characters or etcetera, so mashing two characters's faces together falls really low on my priority list (and for the rare few ships that I do have, I also tend to look at them from both a platonic and romantic angle because just focusing on the romantic aspects will start to bore me after a while). Not to say that shipping is a bad thing, it's just not my thing.

For Undertale Yellow, I don't really have any ships besides Staroba. I like that their dynamic has more of a sense of equality to it (as nice as they are to each other, both Starlo and Ceroba aren't afraid to call each other out on their shit), they're pretty funny together, and them being childhood friends to lovers is pretty cute. I only like/can see Staroba happening a few years after Clover passes though. Ceroba needs time to recover from her previous relationship and Starlo wouldn't push her into anything she's not comfortable with; he's respectful like that 👍. Plus, what ultimately turned Ceroba off from dating Starlo is that he was immature, and at the end of the True Pacifist story, Starlo is shown helping his family and starting to be more responsible. So I imagine that Ceroba would end up gradually falling for Starlo without her knowledge until she one day realizes and is like "Oh." Then cue a bunch of guilt because she feels like she's betraying Chujin by falling for Starlo and Starlo helping her gradually work through it. It's a slow burn 😅

(Any treatment of Staroba as a "Starlo gets the girl" type deal is an absolute turn-off for me. It's not about Starlo getting Ceroba like she's a prize to be won, it's about them growing into better people together and realizing that their feelings are mutual.)

.....And THIS is the part where I re-read the ask and realize that you probably want me to talk about my opinions on UTY ships overall. Hmmm. I'm putting the rest of this under a cut. Warning that this will be a bit headcanon heavy.

First of all, any sort of Clover × adult character ship (Martlet, Starlo, Ceroba, Dalv, Mooch, etc) or any minor × adult pairing is a strong NO from me. I don't care how you try to justify it, it's disgusting, I don't care for it, I don't want to see it. GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG! This isn't me being a hard-ass, this is me expressing a normal opinion to have. If the person reading this ships minor × adult ships, then Leave. Now. Likewise if you take any minor × minor ship and do NSFW stuff with them. Yes, even if you age them up.

With that being said, I also want to state that I don't hate any of the ships I talk about below, I just don't ship them myself. These are just opinions/my interpretations of them and if you have different ones from me, then that's totally fine. I'm just some rando on the internet, don't let what I say stop your roll. I'm... also gonna try to be brief with it since there are quite a few ships to cover.

(EDIT: I was not brief. Oh my god, I was not brief!!!)

Clover × Flowey: I can't see this as a lovey-dovey standard-fare relationship, especially if it takes place during canon. I don't care if Flowey calls Clover his best friend and lets them rest at the end of the True Pacifist story, I found that moment wildly OOC and did not like it! Flowey said he hated them in both the Neutral and No Mercy run endings, and Clover didn't really do anything to bond with Flowey in the True Pacifist ending, so I don't see why he'd suddenly change his mind. Plus, I tend to see Clover as having pretty good judgement of character and that they have some suspicions as to why Flowey is helping them so readily. But... Let's just throw that out the window for this scenario! If Clover had feelings for Flowey, he would absolutely abuse that to lead them around by the nose. Flowey already tries to isolate Clover from their friends and control them by saying that their friends are a bunch of bozos and to focus on the mission and that Clover is too good for them. And if he had their romantic affection as well? What's to stop him from using that to push Clover to go to Asgore and not get distracted? It'd take him a few resets to get used to having Clover look at him like (⁠灬'_'灬⁠), because Flowey has his own issues, but once he's got it down pat, he'd exploit it as much as he can to control Clover. He wouldn't return their feelings either, and would probably start cackling to himself about how much of an idiot Clover is the split second he dives underground. Honestly, I deeply pity Clover in this situation. In a post-Undertale canon scenario, I could see them trying to be friends with each other, but if you're like me and headcanon that they get revived with ALL of their reset memories, being friends is the absolute best case scenario.

Clover × Kanako: Feels like a "pair the spares" situation more than anything. We don't know much about Kanako besides she was kind and smart and brave and well-loved. Nothing about her likes, dislikes, opinions, preferences, etcetera. This may be a bit mean but to me, she was more of a representation of an innocent child lost to Ceroba and Chujin's whole deal than she was her own character. Plus if things go the route of "Ceroba (and Starlo and Martlet, but they don't matter here) adopts Clover and becomes their new family," things get iffy there because they're siblings. Adopted siblings, but siblings nonetheless. But, hey, most of my opinion on how well this ship turns out hinges on what happens to Clover's familial situation post-everything (should they get revived) and how someone characterizes Kanako since she's a fairly blank slate. Do something good with it and I'll go 👍. (psst, would be really cool if you made Kanako dislike humans in a sorta "learned from her dad and perpetuates his bad habits" way. would make her and clover's relationship, romantic or platonic, very interesting and would make her feel more real and grounded..... i know that her spoon-behaviors in the true lab contradict this but i'm just sayin')

Clover × Chara: Two fascinating characters, both who went the "sacrifice myself for the sake of Monsterkind" route, to wildly different degrees of success. From what I've seen, a lot of Clover's characterization in this dynamic seems pulled from the Undertale Red + Yellow mod which... I don't agree with their characterization there. They never struck me as especially chatty, they just say what needs to be said and leave it at that (if anyone here is gonna be verbose, it's gonna be Chara). I also don't see Clover as trying to be upbeat and positive all the time, like in the UT Pacifist Route. Have you seen them in the UTY No Mercy route? Clover can get very serious when they see fit. Hell, even in Pacifist, Clover strikes me as the sort to give the impression that they're serious almost all the time because they don't emote much and are terse (even though they're pretty damn hilarious in their head. A shame 😔). But I digress. The biggest difference between these two is their opinions on humanity. Chara hates humans enough that they try to force their brother to start attacking humans and Clover cares about humans enough that they jump into a mountain that children were known to go missing in to bring justice to the five kids. Yet both of them had shitty lives back home. More than wanting to see them hold hands, I wanna lock them in a room together and make them talk about humans. Either some crazy understanding would bloom or it'd just be two 12-year olds squabbling forever. Place your bets here on how it would turn out.

Axis × Daisy: Nothing needs to be said because I can't come up with anything to say. I wish Axis the best of luck with putting trackers in his children though! 🙏

Martlet × Red/Papyrus/Moray: Gonna throw these all into the same category because I can basically say the same thing about all of them: they're fine. I won't seek them out intentionally but if a story/fanart happens to feature it, I wouldn't be turned off from it. Canon just doesn't give me anything to really work with for these ships so I just go meh. I will say though that while I am usually not a firm "X character has Y sexuality" person, I do tend to see Martlet as a lesbian. So if I stumble across a Martlet × Papyrus fic or fanart or something, there's a bit of a mental hurdle to overcome with me going "Oh, this person thinks Martlet has a different sexuality from how I headcanon her."

Ceroba × Alphys: TOXIC YURI!!! Two characters who hate themselves for their actions who also project their insecurities and the parts they hate about themselves onto the other person. While Ceroba would likely be giving Alphys a lot of shit and would usually instigate things, don't forget that Alphys can snap back if pressed (remember the Queen Alphys ending?). Minecraft Achievement: How Did We Get Here?

Ceroba × Chujin: In an AU where Chujin didn't die, it would've ended in the messiest divorce. Their relationship was a powder keg ready to blow: lack of communication, blind admiration, secrets being kept, one party pulling more weight than the other to cover living expenses, and I could go on. The only reason why they stuck together so long was because they loved each other, and well. Romantic relationships can't last on love alone. There's gonna be moments where there's no room for romance in a relationship because life is happening, and the split second they would've hit one of those moments: *KABOOM!!!* Therapy and proper communication could've saved them, but they're both too prideful and secretive to ever explore those routes.

Starlo × Dalv: Admittedly Corn Yaoi is one of the funniest names for a ship out there. Gives me a "Country guys make do" vibe from name alone (if you're a minor, please don't look that up. Or if you do, because I know realistically that I can't stop you, don't hold me responsible for it!). But besides that, I don't really feel anything for it. They only interact once at the end of one route out of four possible ones, they were far apart from each other on screen, and their conversation was mostly a "Hello." "Hi." situation. There's no chemistry or anything from that brief interaction to make their relationship stick out to me. I see their relationship as cordial, two people united by their affection for the same person who have friendly feelings for each other but it doesn't go beyond that. Sorry ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

(Small aside: I'm not the sort to get into ships between characters who don't meet/interact much in canon (....which I'm sure you've gleaned if you've read up until now), but judging by Orion's dialogue in routes where Starlo is spared, where he talks about going to Snowdin to investigate his family's corn being grown there, I like the idea of him meeting Dalv and developing feelings for him and being embarrassing about it. Whether it works out or not doesn't matter. Being awkward in romance should run in the Sunnyside family, me thinks.)

Starlo × Ed: Scandalous! But I headcanon that Ed and Starlo had a brief gay thing going on between them sometime after Ceroba got engaged. Starlo couldn't truly commit to it because he still had feelings for Ceroba so they agreed to break it off since it wasn't fair to either of them. They're on good terms, but there are still moments where Ed goes soft for Starlo.

I don't know if there's any other ships out there that I forgot to cover. There's probably a million. Uhh, this was a very broad topic to approach and I didn't realize it until I started typing. Maybe if there's a ship/topic out there that you want me to cover, feel free to ask. Though, perhaps be a bit more specific next time 😅

[butterscotch987]

On writing a complex chapter: WIP/Author Notes for Through the Shadows of Shame (TSS), an AUP Fanfic

Just wanted to share another behind the scenes author's note for Through the Shadows of Shame, an Academy's Undercover Professor Fanfic.

Thumbnail is tiny so no spoilers ;)

This is for an upcoming chapter and it's very loaded with a lot of things. To be honest, I had to think of this chapter for almost a week, writing new outlines, drafts, ideas, assessing where I should put the chapter, and all of that.

It was a very difficult chapter because of all the emotions and body language as well as the environment which is more dynamic int his chapter compared to the previous chapters I've written.

So I figured I'd try mapping it out! I think writers really have a tool like this? But I didn't really reference any of those a lot, I'm used to doing flowchart to make sense of my brain, therefore I just did what was natural.

This was so helpful for me. When I tried to input all of the needed elements at once as I was writing it, it just didn't feel right and I got stuck thinking of what was wrong with it, not to mention how overwhelming it felt.

I like to really get in my feelings when writing the scenes, trying to feel and imagine what the characters would be feeling.

And there were a lot of feelings in this chapter.

So what worked?

Doing it in layers was by far a big brain moment for me. Instead of doing the entire scene in one draft, I did it in 3-4 parts:

First, I would draft the entire narrative focusing on the movement and dynamics of the changing environment and other external (non ML/FL) objects/characters. This establishes a sort of skeleton or structure for the entire thing because it gives us the timelines for when certain things need to happen and if it made sense for it to happen at that point (e.g. in my first draft it was only supposed to be 4pm and then the next paragraph the sun was already setting -- it just didn't make sense)

Second, after the skeleton is done and the scene is basically painted in with words, I add in the POV of the characters, 1 character at a time. The scene is difficult because they're both just walking silence not talking to each other, but they're both lost in thought so I needed to convey not only an inner monologue, but also body language, all juxtaposed into the setting in #1.

Third, I look at the side-by-side character thoughts/actions as the sene is unfolding (if you can kinda see it, there's a timeline of major events in the scene, and I've color-coded the thoughts of Ludger and Erina (my OC) and what change is happening at that point in time This is also for continuity, logic, and parallelism. (e.g. what are they thinking of at the same time? That would affect their body language and therefore change the perception or assumption the other person has of their current state of mind)

Fourth is copy editing. Mostly for rewriting the flow, making sure it makes sense, making sure the ideas are good.

Fifth is line editing. Tightening up the dialogue, cutting unnecessary lines, paragraphs, writing additional text for smoother transitions, wittier banter, etc.

Sixth is re-reading! And not just once. I re-read it a few times after editing, then leave it alone on the next chapter. Then I read it again at least once before I publish it. Because of this reason when I'm writing something I'm usually (ideally) 2-3 chapters ahead of my published chapters.

Phew, that was a hefty chapter. Anyway, I just wanted to share my process. Since I write the whole day and I'm alone most of the time, I don't really have people to talk to about this so I thought I'd talk to the internet void.

If you're curious about my story it's this one, on AO3: Through the Shadows of Shame - an AUP Fanfic

Tags: Romance, Fantasy, Comedy, Slow-burn Pairing: Ludger Cherish x Female OC (Original Character) Female OC is a fellow professor and she's a researcher who specializes in plants. And also she banters with him a lot. I think their interactions are cute.

[concerningwolves]

There's a post I can't find now that was expressing frustration that a lot of writing advice on writeblr (don't edit as you write, try switching POV for a scene if it's not working, only write the dialogue/only write the action, etc.) is for first drafts and not subsequent drafts. And I do agree, at least in part; a lot of writeblr is focused on how to, y'know, write the story.

It did make me think, though, and what I thought was this: ogres are like onions.

Or, more accurately: stories are like onions (and ogres?), because they have layers, too.

Writers who use the drafting method write drafts, and with each draft, the story gains more layers (layers of meaning, plot coherency, more cohesive ideas, etc). By draft four or five, a story has enough layers that it looks both pretty and structurally sound. Ideally, the only changes you'd need to make at this point are upper-layer, superficial ones – reshuffle some paragraphs, cut some excess scene padding, smooth out some awkward prose. Maybe rewrite or reposition a couple of scenes. Mostly though, the story feels fixed in place and is semi-polished, which is often the biggest obstacle preventing a writer from solving a problem.

Early drafts typically come out kind of wonky and unstable, their component ideas still sludgy from the primordial creative soup. Writing them can feel like sticky, awkward work – but it's also when the ideas flow most freely! The prospect of going back into that sludge might suck, especially if you've already started to see the final version of your story take solid shape, but it might also be the answer to the problem. Sometimes you have to peel back the pretty layers to look at the uglier structure beneath to see what isn't working. Other times, you need to be more hands-on and pretend you're still in the primordial creative soup to get the brain gears properly lubricated again.

Digital art also has layers. Some artists start with a rough sketch, others with blocks of colour. As the layers build up, so does the picture, but every now and then there'll be something about the picture that just isn't right. If the problem is in the sketchy early layers, the usual options are to either a) go back down to that layer and fix it there, then correct the upper layers to match or b) start again, this time learning from the mistakes made before. If something isn't working for me when I'm doing a digital painting, I'll also sometimes open a fresh canvas and mess around with the same concept in different variations as if I'm starting from scratch, then return to the original piece and use whatever I learned to fix it. So long as I don't prematurely flatten the layers, I've got plenty of wiggle room to figure things out in.

So, yes, some writing advice is only going to work for specific stages of story-making. But also, the creative process is a dynamic one, and no part of a story needs to be set in stone until all the layers have been flattened into their final form, ready for sharing with other people.

[babblingeccentric]

Strawhat Real World Jobs

Yes Oda did give out alternate jobs for all the strawhats in an SBS but I will die before I accept Zoro as a cop and I have a few other quibbles and elaborations I'd like to put forth for Modern AUs. I want you to keep in mind that I'm writing this from a distinctly US American point of view so some of the job cultures may be slightly different to your locality.

Luffy- Firefighter: this one is correct. Luffy needs a job that is highly physical with low organization and intelligence requirements (sorry) This man is not going to college. He isn't a hero but there's no other legal way to get the adrenaline rush he needs. Also firefighters have a higher tolerance for fistfighting than other jobs, but not as much as construction. I think he could do construction labor if needed but I also think he would get bored. He would also be a PR nightmare as a professional athlete or wrestler. Could make it as a YouTuber but only if someone else edited his videos. Honestly YouTuber Luffy is your best choice if you want to preserve the feel of canon in a modern world.

Zoro- Cop: I'm sorry Oda but this is dumb as shit. Zoro would get asked to serve an eviction to a struggling mother of three or clear out a homeless encampment and quit on the spot. Or he would get into fights with other cops and get walled out and have to quit. He could still be a swordsman as a professional Kendo fencer? Athlete? Idk what they call those but he'd go on the pro circuit and absolutely decimate. He'd teach at a dojo in the off seasons. I'd also see him as an athletic trainer. I think Zoro could make it through college

Nami- Nursery School Teacher: While Nami is canonically very fond of children and quite good with them this feels like kind of a cop out. I think meteorologist suits her skills really well and I think she could kill it in the looks contest that weather anchors have to play.

Sanji- Stylist: I love this one so much. Idk what the original was but a stylist in the US refers to either a personal stylist which is a person who picks rich people's outfits or a hair stylist which is a person who cuts and styles hair, usually women's. Both jobs are associated with flamboyant gay men. He goes to his job and he gasses up women and calls men ugly for eight hours and then comes home and cooks Luffy dinner because he got texted a picture of the most fucked up eggs you ever did see that morning.

Ussop- Graphic Designer: I honestly have no notes. Yeah Ussop can hold down a steady job, and yeah it should be art focused. What is art but lying anyway?

Chopper- Grade School Teacher: This one is just so cute. He's got a childishness to him that makes kids like him and he has a soft caring personality that makes him good at his job. He can also be strict when he really has to. I agree Chopper would be a great elementary school teacher

Franky- Pilot: I guess? The thing is I think flying a plane for a job is both stressful and boring and I honestly don't think it suits him as well as say mechanic. I think Franky would be great as a mechanic souping up hot rods and doing weird custom jobs and he would be very entrenched in the local car scene. I also do just love mechanic characters

Robin- Flight Attendant: We all know this is just for Frobin reasons. And while the idea of a hand sprouting from your fold down tray to serve you your in flight meal is charming Robin deserves better than being Franky's beautiful assistant. Also I don't wish customer service upon her after all her suffering. I think she would be a great lawyer. She's smart, she's eloquent, she's poised- she'd kill it in the courtroom. She does corporate law for Crocodiles unethical company for a ridiculous sum before quitting to start her own firm and defending Luffy's numerous aggravated assault charges cause she likes him.

Brook- Detective: I'm not really sure why they picked this but I now want a detective story where Brook runs around solving mysteries (wait isn't that just skullduggery pleasant?)

Jinbe- Train Station Attendant: This is really cute, but we all know he'd be a retired yakuza boss. Maybe in some wild world where none of the strawhats turn to crime. I think he would be a local institution and know a lot of people and ask them about their families and such

[fanfoolishness]

For the "even more fic writer asks!"

1, 26 and 29 (And Ietting you choose the fic 'cause I can't decide/maybe some have no linked answers?)

Ahhh, the agony of choosing XD Thank you for sending an ask! <3

I'll pick some Bad Batch ones for you <3

Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

Technically I'm cheating a bit, since a rain that sounds like home isn't yet complete. But it has been percolating since.... (checks google docs) May 15, and I only started to feel confident in actually writing it in the past month, and only started publishing it in the last 2-3 weeks. I kept going away and coming back to it, getting frustrated because I couldn't quite figure out how I wanted it to go. I knew I wanted Crosshair to have a big, messy breakdown about Tech. I'd been wanting to write that story for ages. But then the finale came along and cut off my boy's fucking hand and I realized I had to deal with that too. Then I had to figure out how to twine his PTSD, the recovery from the amputation, and his unresolved grief about Tech that just barely, barely got brushed on in the finale all together into a big knotty mess. Then I had to figure out how to start to untangle them. It kept feeling like a herculean task, and for a while I contemplated leaving Tech out of it. But it's my goddamn mission in life to help characters deal with sibling grief (since I got through it, I want them to, too!).

This next chapter is going to be an emotional nuclear bomb going off, and Crosshair's finally going to have to start dealing with his feelings about losing Tech while never reconciling with him, and I hope it comes out just as messy and painful as I've been aiming for. If all goes well editing-wise I'll post that tomorrow, and the final chapter still has some writing to do but has an outline. All told it will be about 3 months of work, with many breaks to let my brain try to puzzle it out.

26. Share your favorite detail.

Favorite details? Ooooh, that is tough. I do always like using my whole being a veterinarian IRL whenever I can in fic, sneaking in little things like medical whump or weird animal facts. Patching Up has Crosshair dealing with minor paw pad injuries for Batcher, and Evaluations is a fun little angsty look at Crosshair through Nala Se's eyes, using medical language to create distance. There's also a little shoutout to merle mutations in dogs when Nala Se muses that Crosshair's gray hair is likely linked to his ocular enhancements. Humans don't have a merle gene as far as I'm aware but what the hell, it's Star Wars, I can do what I want.

I have also slowly but steadily been throwing in references to Crosshair starting to pay attention to birds on Pabu in multiple fics to go with my headcanon that he develops a love of birding, using his exceptional vision to spot birds. They show up frequently in moments where he is observing things around the island, using details from real Earth species (or near-Earth species). He doesn't have names for the birds yet, that will come later, but the groundwork is being laid and if you are sharp-eyed you can find several references to them so far in my canon of work. :)

29. If you made a playlist, talk about the songs on it and share a link.

If. IF I made a playlist. omfg. my playlists, let you show them (or at least a good chunk of them). Every blorbo gets a playlist, some more than one if they have a long enough arc, and most ships get one too. Chaptered stories often get their own playlist as well.

Lately I have mostly been writing to my Crosshair and Crosshair Recovery playlists, but I sometimes visit other angsty ones for good writing music. I usually can't write to the show's score by itself because I get too focused on the themes and where exactly certain moments in the episode happened in the music; I can handle a few songs on a playlist but not the entire season score. Most of my Crosshair songs have a male vocalist with a heavy focus on angst, war themes, guilt, and isolation; the Crosshair recovery playlist starts frantic, veers towards guilt and depression, then builds towards songs focusing on release and acceptance, like the story itself (a rain that sounds like home).

Phew! Thanks for all that! Sorry for jabbering on :)

[greenhousethree]

Apologies for gushing but your last fic twenty-two was just so beautiful! I'm wondering how you come up with so many good details in all your fics? I'm working on getting better at imagery and would love hearing more about your process, you just have such way with descriptions!

first off, thank you so so much anon! this made my whole week!

but oof, this one is tough since i'm definitely not an authority on descriptive writing (or any sort of writing, really), and i'm not particularly introspective about the process. and twenty-two more or less fell out of my head in one piece, which doesn't happen very often for me, so i'm working a little backwards here.

so at the risk of sounding incredibly preachy, i've taken a stab at articulating how i tend to think when creating scenes. maybe some of this will be helpful?

for me as a reader, details that tend to stick out are both extremely specific and concise. the specific part comes a little easier for me when writing - picking out little actions and details from everyday life that i don't tend to read about very often - but the language precision takes more work. if a detail requires too many descriptors to convey the full picture, i'll usually revisit and search for more specific words or axe it completely.

i think it's really important to trust our abilities to describe things uniquely! which sometimes means swinging for the fences and missing entirely with an analogy that doesn't work, but i find that so much more interesting than relying on clichés.

i'll add to the choir of advocates for killing your darlings. deep down, you know if something doesn't fit. i keep a "dump now use later" doc as a personal pacifier, because it feels easier to delete an *incredibly clever* bit of wording if i think i can recycle it someday (spoiler: i won't).

i try not to think about this too hard, but syntax is a really helpful tool for flow and for characterizing a narrative voice (she says in full awareness that hermione's inner monologue in her fics sounds a lot like ginny's which sounds a lot like harry's... 😬).

i like to let descriptive verbs do the talking over adverbs an adjectives. again this is based on my preferences as a reader; i find actions to be much more immersive when they can stand alone without modifiers.

a wonderful beta changed my life by ruthlessly trimming the fat from one of my works. this is a little different than cutting out entire ideas that don't fit, more like removing filler from your sentences that dilute the point. i'm not necessarily advocating for a minimalist tone (lord knows we're far from that), but this kind of editing really helps the details pop.

a n y w a y , all of that feels very boiled down to a science, which might go against the point? i think it can be good to consider these things while editing, but i guess the biggest piece of 'advice' i would offer is to try and let your voice and your plot/ideas speak before any of the language mechanics. i usually feel most stuck when i'm too focused on phrasing something that doesn't serve the bigger picture, and zooming out to "what is this scene even doing here" often helps me realize that (ahoy, we've circled back to killing our darlings).

maybe some of that made sense, and if not i apologize, but thank you so much again anon for this humongous bit of flattery and for letting me ramble!

🌱

[futurefind]

Hiatus Announcement

//I've alluded to it before but now I'm actually verbalizing it so!! Hiatus announcement be upon ye!! More specifically, a 'pseudo' hiatus, where I'll basically be putting entire blog on 'request only'— I'll prob keep lurking, likely keep posting About my blorbos, absolutely keep any threads, but... Gestures.

Tl;dr, because I'm not good about talking About feelings, and to try and talk about it would make me feel like I'm guilt tripping etc etc: I'm extremely low spoons, and about as low confidence, so I don't have the energy to be proactive and 100% initiate like... anything.

And it'd feel misleading to say 'oh I'm not on hiatus :)' as if I'm on full activity when I'm... not!

If you initiate stuff I'll return the favor and babble back, up to and including just asking me to do xyz (blorbo babbles, inbox raiding, etc)!!

(Edit/PS: As always my discord's available to moots, @/nethernor_i, but since I'll be lurking tumblr IMs also work as usual!!)

(Edit 8.4.24: Just to state the obvious for obvious's sake, again: PLEASE INITIATE/DM/ETC if you want anything!! When I say request only I mean it and so outside of that I'm gonna presume you're not keen on me / us doing anything.)

EDIT / UPDATE (8.7)

I said I wasn't gonna talk about the why's of my hiatus but I can't stop thinking about it and it's not not relevant to share even if it can't be helped so: that'll be below the cut since it's insecurity / vent / negative adjacent :')

Tl;dr, though: I don't feel comfortable here on tumblr anymore and that's what's impacting my activity / presence / confidence / etc, not just universally low spoons across the board. When I came back it was for sake networking for rp and making friends Through rp, but at current it's fizzled out and i'm much more comfortable focusing on private rp / rp groups than on here

(But if we have preexisting threads on here I won't drop them, juuuuust don't be afraid to add & poke me on discord to lmk when you've replied<3)

(again, this is below the cut for vent/negative/insecurity reasons, so if youre not up for that dwai) - any further Regular updates will be put above this section lol

idk I feel the simplest and most 'objective' way to put it is that my intent of 'keep dash tiny and small and palatable to prevent getting overwhelmed' is severely biting me in the ass bc it leads to extremely like... disproportionate? desires of activity??? where I'm looking to get lots of activity from (for example), like, ~5 people, but they are both not looking for turbo activity with me specifically and have interactions with 20+ people they're looking to keep up with (if, not necessarily, wrt longform rp) — on top of all the once-very-active moots that have dipped off into the void entirely, not just wrt ~our rp~

and like... subjectively??? i have like no sense of relationship decay, but exponentially horrific emotional permanence (the thing that lets you know you're cared about even when ppl are not directly talking to you or the like), and combined with the negative feedback loop of 'low confidence -> low activity -> less confidence bc less activity ->->' ???

it creates a very very Not Fun mix that makes me feel alone and lonely, like i'd be ignored even screaming in a crowded room, and feeling like what interactions i Do get are moreso an after thought or pity rather than reciprocated enthusiasm.

and its like. idk. it feels like law of diminishing returns but also w at least five secret spices of guilt about it—whether it's because i'm not 'trying hard enough' to 'earn' the 'attention', or because i'm 'blaming' ppl for the completely lighthearted nbd act of just... not making me a 'favorite' and making me feel 'entitled/spoiled' for just missing people

[hecatesbroom]

How I organise my (fic) writing in Notion

@this-geek wondered how I organised my works in Notion, and considering I'm nothing if not always happy to ramble about anything concerning lists and sorting my various things, here we are ;) thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about this haha

Under the cut because I have unfortunately rambled quite a bit (sorry!)

Okay so first off: I really only use Notion for my fic writing (I prefer to work on original projects in physical notebooks or Word, for reasons unknown to even me) and I only keep my first drafts in here. I move on to Google Docs for second drafts (again, who knows why I do this? I sure don't!) Anyway, onto the organisation:

This is what my main page looks like! I have some fancy sidebars I never really use, the to do list is horribly outdated, and I haven't updated that quote (from one of my favourite book series: The Locked Tomb) in ages, but I still think it looks nice!

The thing this is mainly about, though, is the part in the middle that says "all fics". This is what Notion calls a database. It's basically one gigantic collection of pages (in my case: fics) that you can add tags to and display in various different ways. I prefer gallery view because it allows me to add a picture to the overview if I want to. I used to do this for my Locked Tomb fics and it looked pretty fun:

The thing is that it's also a lot of work to find pictures to match your fics (and nowadays I'm more focused on writing than all the thing surrounding it) so my Golden Girls overview looks more like this! I still like the gallery view because it gives you a little preview of every wip :)

As you can see, there's lots of different tags under the titles. The stuff you see in this view is a quick overview (mostly to help with sorting, so all my posted wips line up, and the rest shows up according to which state of unfinishedness they're currently in)

When you click any fic in this view, you'll be taken to the actual fic, and its complete overview of tags & info! I like to keep track of a lot of things (when I remember to, anyway). Here's a little overview for the things I tracked for the finish line :)

Created: shows me the date I started the document (and therefore the fic). Very useful! I love this feature a lot

Fandom: is mainly there for organisation purposes! I set my gallery view to toggle per fandom, so it's all sorted into neat little sections thanks to this tag

Characters: pretty self explanatory

Type: I've got several categories here: "one-shot", "multi-chapter", "drabble", "ficlet", and (reserved for one AU in particular) "i honestly don't know anymore"

Status: again, there's quite a few options for this one: "plotting", "writing draft 1", "1st draft", "2nd draft", "finished", "posted", "hiatus" and "abandoned" (which I rarely use)

Quick summary: is where I play around with my ao3 summary whenever I'm bored and don't really feel like writing

Draft 1 wc: I usually just put the final word count for the first draft there, unless I remember to track individual writing sessions (in which case I add those word counts as well, like in the example above, because I love looking back on the process!)

Draft 2 wc: I tend to completely retype a fic into my google docs for the second draft. Once I've done that I put the end result into my Notion doc

Finished wc: after I've reread and edited my 2nd draft, and possibly managed to have it all get a little out of hand (like you can see in that doubled word count for the finish line, lol) I put the finished word count here!

WC goal: is just a fun way to see what my initial idea was for the fic (I try to set a goal when I've got a general idea of what I want the work to look like, and always end up exceeding it)

The rest of it is just my writing, basically! Scroll down from there and you get the body for the fic :)

I hope this was somewhat helpful! I'm not a pro at Notion by any means, but if you have any questions or need some help, feel free to ask! I'm happy to try to help out!

[viperwhispered]

Those fic writer asks kinda got me thinking about my fic writing process, too (as inspired by diodellet's reply).

So, ramble time.

I guess I would mostly describe my writing process as sort of top down iterative thing?

Like, I definitely do messy first (and even second) drafts. I put down general ideas, some bits of text if I do already have some ideas for a particular scene, but mostly I try to get the basic structure together. What happens next, what's happening in this scene (and what's the point of it), stuff like that.

So the first draft might have some actual prose to it, and even prose that makes it to the end of the editing process, but often the sentences are shorter, or cut off, or have like three different alternatives. But in there might be some more refined exchanges (I tend to be kinda dialogue first a lot of the time), or bits of description there. Almost like points of (relative) clarity in the mud.

Typically, if I don't know what I want to do at a spot exactly, I leave it open to figure out for later and move onto the next bit. Of course, sometimes I need to figure out a direction before I can do that - for example, whether someone would be antagonistic or amiable in the previous scene certainly can affect what would happen after, and stuff like that. But in general, I jot down what I can, and leave difficult bits to be something I come back to later.

Now, I wouldn't say there's necessarily a definite point where I could call the first draft done and perhaps move on to the second. Like I said, it's very much an iterative process, and different parts of the work tend to get worked on at different times, depending on when I find solutions to my questions.

Typically, however, when I feel like I've got the structure down, I start focusing on the parts I've marked (I do a lot of comments but also formatting etc. to note the things that still could do with some work). Basically, it's multiple passes of going through the notes, dwindling them down.

Like, for any given part of the work, the structure would be something like: what's happening here in general > alright what's being said or done here > alright how exactly are they saying or doing it > what's the best word choices here.

Of course, in practice, all these levels muddle together, and different parts of the work will be in different stages. But as I go through the passes of the work, ticking off my notes, sorting out the parts that I've identified as needing work, I usually go down more and more into detail, until the final pass(es) are about particular words, sentence flow, or things like that - things very specific to that particular location of the work, rather than the larger, more overarching things.

So, depending on the length of the work, it may be that I only read through the whole thing once I feel like the structure is down. Then I go through the pinpointed things, until I have no more notes left, and read through the whole thing when I post it.

Again, not a hard and fast rule, and of course sometimes when looking at a particular, it is helpful and important to "zoom out" and look at the whole, and remind myself of everything that's happening around the particular spot I'm at. But in general, I don't really read through the whole thing, from beginning to end, all that much. Partially because I'm trying not to tinker endlessly, partially because I'm trying to make sure I don't end up just working on the first part of the work and neglecting the end of it.

So, it's been quite some time since I did long, multipart work, but I definitely did plot things out in advance, at least to get a general idea of what was coming, then again did multiple passes, adding more and more detail, going deeper and deeper from the level of general story or themes to the level of the text itself. For a shorter work, maybe most of it comes out at once, but even then if I'm stuck on a particular point I do try to just mark it up and move forward to get back later.

Years ago, on some forum, I remember describing the writing process as finding a big bead or pearl (a central scene, motive or idea) and then working on finding the complementing things around it to turn it into a proper necklace. Lately, however, I've been more willing to allow myself to just do that one big pearl: make it a drabble, just post the concept without prose, whatever.

In a way, it's kinda freeing, not telling myself it has to be long and "proper" to be worthwhile. There's always gonna be more ideas coming than I have time to write, after all, and especially nowadays I really want to make sure I'm doing this for fun and not for any sort of must or should or have to.

I say, pretending I don't feel the impending deadline for that fic that I've been kinda thinking about writing for my birthday - I had soo much time left when I first thought of it and now there's like couple weeks until my birthday. Time sure has been sneaking past me.

ETA: oh yeah, I wanted to mention it somewhere but forgot, there have also been those times when I've kinda just splurted out fic straight onto a discord channel. Definitely less refined than what I'd consider my "proper" way of writing, but I guess this is to say that sometimes I have been known just write without the edits and revisions and stuff.