#usually i force a granola bar down my throat because i refuse to take any of my meds without something. but. i’m so fucking tired.

[threnodians]

said “fuck it” and forced myself to eat a granola bar and took my meds now because it’s almost 6am and i am going to now hopefully sleep all goddamn day until 4pm when i have to get up and go to work because i have hardly slept at all throughout the past few days 🥲👍🏻

[ratmonky]

Death Drive

Word Count: 5.5K

Warnings: non-con, mild blood, choking, biting, fight/violence, burns, tentacle

AO3 Link

A gift to my lovely friend who also drew this gorgeous piece for this fic,  @bacterialheaven​  <3 (Your art fascinates me so much ahh T^T)

Although most of the devil hunters have the life instinct, I think Hirofumi doesn't care much about survival while doing his work, making him the perfect example of an individual with a death drive. Just like Kishibe (:

The depths of the ocean had many things hidden at the bottom where sunlight never reached. Fish still yet to be discovered, monsters and devils.

Swimming in the ocean was something you could never do since the thought of never knowing what might be hiding underneath the dark waters was horrifying.

However, the terrifying creatures of the ocean could never get you as long as you stayed on the land.  

Right?

~~~

Hitchhiking wasn’t as dangerous as you had anticipated. When you told your close friends that you would be making your way out of the city by hitchhiking, they warned you about the dangers of getting in the car with someone who might want to hurt you. No matter how much you tried to explain to them how you had to lay low and stay away from any public transportations to not get caught, they didn’t listen.

However you hadn’t listened to them either, that was why you were sitting on your luggage near the roadside. You were only a couple of towns away from the city but you still had a long way to travel.

It had taken you more than a dozen rides to get to here from where you had started. Normally it would take two hours by car to travel here but it took you eight hours to get where you were now.

It was getting late, your last ride had promised to drop you off next to a place you could stay the night but the man was too creepy to look at and you felt uneasy to be stuck in the truck with him.

Naturally, you had insisted that he dropped you off on the first roadside diner.

You regretted it now. It was the middle of the night, you didn’t have any place to stay and the roadside diner you had been planning to eat was out of your budget.

Either you had to get a ride now to save money to travel to a cheaper roadside diner or go out of your budget and stay the night here feasting on food… The latter option was the worst. Saving money was more important.

You knew how to attract a ride anyway. Smile in a friendly way, hold up your ‘going to the countryside!’ sign, and hope for the best. You wouldn’t wait any longer than between ten to fifteen minutes before hitching a ride but it was almost impossible to get a ride at night.

There was no way that someone would drive you to the next town or somewhere you could sleep. Everyone was on the edge because of the devil attacks that had started happening more frequently.

No. Don’t think about devils. Not now. Not ever.

With a long sigh, you redirected the light from your flashlight onto the map. You could wait until the morning or start walking on the side of the road until you came across a gas station; however, it all felt like a waste of time and effort. This side of the city didn’t have anything but trees on the roadsides. It could be dangerous to walk close to the forest at night too, you had heard the devils who lived in nature would come out at night.

The sound of your stomach grumbling brought you out of your frantic thoughts.

You were starving, the last thing you ate was a granola bar in the morning. It had been quite a while since you had last eaten but if you went over your budget, you might not be able to make it to your destination.

“Where are you headed?”

Startled, you turned your head to the man who was talking to you. He looked around your age, he had black hair and a rather creepy smile tugging at his lips.

“Um, the countryside.”

“Oh, you’re all alone?” he asked.

You nodded to confirm. Then internally yelled at yourself for telling him that you were alone. He could be someone dangerous.

“I’m headed to the countryside too, want me to give you a ride?” He gestured towards a black car parked in front of the diner.

You would have taken his offer if it weren’t for the sinister smile on his face.

“Thank you but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.” You averted your gaze from him and shone the light back on the map.

“It’s dangerous to be out this late at night.” He put his hands in his pockets, shrugging slightly. “I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I didn’t take you to safety.” He gestured towards the parked car behind him once again. “I'll give you a ride, free of charge.”

He had cornered you, there was no reason for you to refuse his offer. You were still conflicted though, you would have turned him down if it wasn’t this late in the night. He didn’t look like the type of person to take no for an answer either. You couldn’t say no to his generous offer but you kept hesitating. If you were to find the perfect excuse maybe he would leave. However, you didn’t have any excuses.

Ugh!

Why were you even hesitating? You needed a ride and here was this guy, offering to take you away from the doomed city. You hit the jackpot!

“A-are you sure?”

“Come on, I was about to leave.”

“Ah, I can’t thank you enough.” Gathering the stuff you had with you and putting away the flashlight, you forced yourself to smile at him. “You saved me from waiting who knows how long for another ride.”

He didn’t say anything as he led the way towards his car. Opening the baggage, he let you put your luggage in the back and closed it. As you were walking around the car to open the door and sit on the back seat, the guy spoke before he hopped on the driver seat himself.

“I have stuff in the back, sit on the front.”

You stared inside through the window to see two large black bags on the backseats. Reluctantly, you reached to open the front door and climbed inside the car.

“So, where are you exactly headed?” He asked as he put on his seatbelt.

His question brought you out of your frantic thoughts. “Somewhere remote.”

“Hmm, so no specific destination? Don’t you have a family member who’s waiting for you? Where are you going to stay?”

You didn’t have anywhere to stay. At least not yet. Your plan was to find a motel and stay somewhere remote until people forgot about you.

Most importantly, it didn’t feel like he was asking these questions to start a conversation. You changed your mind, wanting to get out of the car.

You turned your head to tell him that but his unsettling stare left you speechless.

He asked a more particular question. “Do you have a specific address you want me to drop you off to?”

“I-in front of the first cheap motel we come across would be perfect.” You clutched on your small shoulder bag. You felt nervous when people stared at you for too long.

He hummed in acknowledgment as the car rolled forward.

“You seem to have a lot of luggage. Moving somewhere?” he spoke again, taking a turn and getting on the highway.

Your head jerked up, looking at him. “Um, uh.” You were hesitant to lie. “I’m just backpacking around the country.”

“Wouldn’t it be cheaper to bike instead of hitchhiking?” He wasn’t even facing you but you could tell he was smirking at your utter stupidity. “Or rather do it with a group?”

Although your throat felt dry, you didn’t dare to swallow. “Probably but I wanted to have a little adventure for myself, alone.”

“Don’t backpackers usually have a backpack and not a luggage?”

“I just have too many things I need with me.” Ahh, you were so bad at lying. Stop fidgeting with your fingers and looking around like that. He will notice. Just… change the subject. “A-anyway, I don’t think we introduced ourselves. I’m (name), what’s your name?”

“Hirofumi.” He grabbed the gear shift, changing it to a higher level and speeding up. You sank deeper into your seat and started to panic. Only then you realized you hadn’t put on your own seatbelt. While you were hurriedly trying to put it on, Hirofumi pressed on the cigarette lighter button. You hoped he wasn’t going to smoke inside the car but failed to notice how there weren't any cigarette tar stains on the interior of the car.

He took a sharp turn, you grunted but managed to put your seatbelt on. As you sat back in your seat, the first thing you noticed was that he was driving down towards a road leading towards the forest.

“Um, I think you took a wrong turn,” you said, bringing it up to his attention.

“It’s a shortcut.” He kept his eyes on the road that was only being illuminated by the headlights, everything else was dark, you had no idea what kind of shortcut he was taking.

There was this feeling of being in the middle of the ocean. You could feel something sinister was lingering in the deep dark water underneath you. Something was about to emerge and grab you by your ankle, pull you down, and drown you.

You knew how to swim.

However, could you swim if whatever thing was pulling you down turned out to be a lot stronger and scarier than anything you had ever faced?

Could you struggle when you were this weak?

Could you fight when you had nothing to fight with?

Without your weapons.

Without your badge.

Without your devil.

“You know, hitchhiking was a great idea,” he said, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he continued smiling. “It was a smart option but for someone as dumb as you, there was a way to ruin it. You went and told all of your dumb friends about your plan.”

You stared at him for some sort of explanation but you didn’t need any. Yet you still asked him, whimpering, “W-what are you talking about?” Your bottom lip had started trembling.

He knew.

“For a devil hunter, your sense of danger is too low.”

A tremendous wave of panic washed over you when he sped up.

“Who are you?” Did you even need to ask? He was one of those private hunters. Makima had most likely sent him after you.

Despite being a devil hunter from the city, you were now weak. You had resigned from your work without notice and broke the deal with your devil. Although it had been an impending decision rather than a sudden one, you had left your work abruptly.

After watching so many people die and losing who you had thought would be your friends for a long time, the bitter truth of being a devil hunter had resurfaced.

Devil hunters were destined to die on the job, sooner or later.

The money you earned from being a devil hunter could let you live in comfort materialistically until the day you died but having to suffer from nightmares every single time you put your head on the pillow or closed your eyes could never be comforting. It wasn’t worth it.

You didn’t want to lose more people or see any more grotesque devils murdering civilians but once you started working under Makima’s orders, leaving wasn’t that easy.

That’s why you were on the run.

Even though you had sworn to protect the people of your country, you were running away from the job that gave you a purpose to your insignificant life like a coward.

How childish.

The cigarette lighter popped off with a soft click sound, bringing you out of your hectic thoughts.

He was taking you back… He was going to hand you over to Makima. You were going to work until you died.

“You should’ve gone up north, going south was predictable. Well, at least if you hadn’t told your friends about the hitchhiking part, maybe you’d go under everyone’s radar. However you’re a chatty one, aren’t you? Some ‘friendship comes before work’ type of person, huh? That would explain a lot-”

Hirofumi’s words didn’t reach you anymore. The color drained from your face and your ears started ringing. Your whole body started to shake, and tears started streaming down your cheeks. “Please,” you sobbed, your voice came out shaky, pathetic. “Please don’t do this. I did nothing. I’m just tired of all of the deaths and I can’t handle it any-”

“You can’t talk your way out of this,” Hirofumi said as he took another sharp turn, driving deeper into the forest.

You found yourself stuttering, ”Y-you don’t understand.” You looked at Hirofumi with tears in your eyes. “I’ll be killed.”

“What are you so unhappy with?” Hirofumi spoke again but he wasn’t even facing you. “It’s not like you were living contentedly up until now, were you? In that case, it makes no difference where you live or what you do for a living. Or if you’re killed or not.”

Your face found a new shade of pale. He wouldn’t understand. He was one of those crazy devil hunters who had shut their humanity off.

“You only had to kill demons for a bit and you got rice every day. It might as well be heaven but I guess you weren’t a real hunter.” His smile grew wider as he was watching the trees creep towards him slowly before zooming past the window. “You can die in peace now.”

You got quiet but your tears didn’t stop.

With a vicious smile on his lips, Hirofumi turned away to face you. “You know, a pro devil hunter wouldn’t cry.”

Everything was spinning, it made you believe that your head felt fuzzy. It didn’t even occur to you that he was driving at a normal speed now. Almost immediately you tried to think of an escape plan. Could you manage to run away if you were taken to the headquarters? There was no way you could and that was why you had to fight with everything you had to refuse to go with him. You looked out of the window, the forest could be a great way to lose him. The trees and the darkness could cover you, giving you the advantage to sneak away without having to face this guy in a battle. What was your next move going to be?

You didn’t know but you had to get away.

You stared at the door lock, it was locked but you could lift it even without him noticing. The speed was still accelerating but if you managed to jump out of the car you would have a head start by running. The car wouldn’t stop until his shock wore off and that would give you the great advantage of looking for a place to hide.

There weren’t many people or devils out in the forest at this time of the night. Hopefully. It would be easy for you to run without being seen by another person who could tell him where you went.

What if a devil attacked-

Getting overwhelmed, you took a sharp breath and exhaled loudly. You had to calm down. You didn’t have much time to think over the plan, you just had to do it. If you waited for too long you were going to lose this chance of getting away.

Hesitantly, you glanced at Hirofumi. To your luck, he was only focused on driving.

Cone on. Come on. Come on.

Your heart was pounding, a single cold sweat droplet trickled down from the burning skin of your temple to your cheek as you carefully and suddenly unlocked the door. But you forgot about the most important thing. Your seatbelt. Your biggest mistake was forgetting to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you had twisted your body to jump out of the car, you had found yourself stuck, slammed back into your seat from the force of the seatbelt itself.

Hirofumi stared at you as if it wasn’t a big deal that you opened the door of the moving vehicle or how you were trying to escape. He lifted his right hand up while he crossed his middle and index fingers, “Octopus.”

Your blood ran cold as a giant tentacle emerged outside of the car from a dark cloud and slammed the door closed. You were frozen in your seat as if your muscles had dried up and turned to stone.

What was that?

No, you didn’t want to know.

The car decelerated until it slowly rolled to a stop.

You didn’t dare to look at Hirofumi but you knew he was smiling at you. You knew he had that sinister smile plastered on his face, glowering at you with his big dark eyes.

“Ink.”

He turned off the engine, the headlights flickered off and it became pitch black. Darker than black. It all swallowed you whole. It was as if light didn't exist, the only thing you could see was the dangerous glint in his eyes.

Hirofumi calmly plucked off the burning hot cigarette lighter and held his hand out towards you but you couldn't see. “Ms. Makima told me to bring you to the headquarters,” he said, pausing momentarily as you were trembling in fear, unable to move a muscle. “Dead or alive. I get paid either way.”

You gulped audibly. This was it, wasn’t it? The end.

There was another long pause before he sighed and pressed the cigarette lighter on your thigh. “Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.”

The sharp pain made your eyes widen and your mouth popped open in pain. You could run away, you just had to unbuckle the seatbelt and bolt out of the car.

However, as soon as your hand went to the buckle to pop the latch plate out, he firmly pressed the metal lighter on the back of your hand.

Yowling in agony, you refused to retrieve your hand and instead unbuckled your seatbelt. Without giving him another chance to attack, you opened the door.

As soon as you fell on the mud, you took a couple of wobbly steps before finally gaining your strength and used the ground as a springboard to start running without looking back. Things weren't as dark now, you could see well but you still were confused about things. Without actually having a clear idea of your whereabouts you kept running deeper into the forest but you couldn’t run in a straight line, you had to confuse him with which way you were running. Abruptly, you stopped to look around to see where you could run. The sudden movements made you lose your balance, stumble and fall down. You scraped your knees. Without checking your injuries, you got up to make a sudden bolt to your right.

Your own heavy footsteps were echoing each time your foot made contact with the wet mud. Or... no. Those weren't echoes of your own footsteps they were more like- They belonged to someone else-

“You’re running too slow.” A scoff.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him running next to you. He wasn’t out of breath like you were but he lifted his hand towards you, pointing his forefinger at your face before crossing his middle finger over the other digit.

He was going to call out his devil again.

With a sob, you made a move to change your direction but it was too late.

“Octopus.”

Black smoke appeared behind him. From the dark mist, a tentacle emerged, abruptly grabbing you by the waist, you flailed violently as soon as your body crashed onto the tentacle. It lifted you up, punching the air out of your lungs from the force of its grip around your body. You started hitting the tentacle’s slimy skin, crying and yelling at the same time. “Let me go, let go!”

Hirofumi pressed his hand on the tentacle and walked towards you while dragging his hand on it. “You’re more fun than I thought.”

As he was getting closer, you struggled within the tentacle’s hold by kicking helplessly at the air. “Get away from me!”

He stopped in front of you and looked up at you with that same disturbing smile before tapping on the tentacle twice. “I took a liking to you.” The tentacle lowered you down until Hirofumi tapped on it again to stop. “You’re quite interesting.”

The tentacle tightened its grip around you and forced your arms to be pressed against your chest. You were getting crushed, you kept trying to inhale but no air was going inside your lungs.

“However it still would be less of a hassle for me to take your corpse to Ms. Makima. You’re just too annoying.”

Fear came rushing back, the bitter reality of how insignificant your life was a harsh truth to accept. Hirofumi could kill you without batting an eye, he would be fine with taking your life because at the end of the day he was going to get paid for doing his job.

You opened your mouth to beg for his mercy but nothing would come out. Your face was turning blue from lack of air instead.

Hirofumi said something you couldn’t hear. Instantly the tentacle’s hold loosened around you. With the pressure gone,  you greedily inhaled air, filling up your lungs and coughing.

“I’ll make it quick,” he said, this time frowning instead of smiling. “What a shame though, I thought we’d be able to work together in the future.”

“W-wait!” you coughed, trying to catch your breath to talk to him. “No, no, no! Please, I’ll do anything. Please,  I won’t try to run again, I’ll sit patiently and- and-”

He was very quiet, almost silent, but resolute. The blood in your face drained away when you heard his cold and terrifying tone asking you a question with three simple words, “You’ll do anything?”

Your eyes widened as you tried to process the meaning behind his words, you could feel your blood being pumped through your veins but something was wrong, there was a heavy feeling of something crawling under your skin.

“I’ll do anything.”

That sinister smile returned to his face.

The tentacle lowered you, now, your feet could touch the solid ground.

“I want you to prove me wrong,” he said, stretching his arms above his head.

“Huh?” The tentacle unwrapped around you but remained at the back while you stared at the guy in front of you in confusion. “Prove what?”

He positioned himself in a fighting pose. “Prove that you’re a devil hunter worth keeping alive. Let’s duke it out.”

He had to be kidding. You were nothing without a weapon or your devil. It was unfair to you and-

Hirofumi landed a sudden kick on your stomach, doubling in pain, you took a couple of wobbly steps back.

When you glanced up at him, you saw him jumping in his place as if he was only warming up. He was taunting you, don’t fall for it.

Yet you knew he wasn’t kidding about you proving him that you were a good hunter. He had made it clear. So you had no choice but to take him down if you wanted to live.

You aimed a kick towards him but he caught you mid-air by your ankle. Whimpering, you tried pulling your leg back to no avail. The panic of the situation started to settle in as he got closer to you. “That’s cute, you didn’t even put any strength behind your kick.” He tucked your leg around his waist, closing the distance between the two of you. His face had gotten awfully close, his hot breath ghosted over your face. For the first time tonight, you looked at his eyes directly, his pupils were dilated to the point of being completely black. You could see your own terrified expression being reflected back to you in them. To put it simply, you were at his mercy once again, balanced only on a single leg with no way of escaping his hold.

“You lose,” he grinned. “You really aren’t cut out to be a devil hunter.”

“Please,” you began but he interrupted you, his other hand pressing on the small of your back and sliding down your curves to squeeze a generous amount of the supple flesh of your ass. Your breath hitched, the uneasy feeling of being powerless against a higher rank like him made your stomach churn in fear.

“Let’s have some fun before you die.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

With that, the tentacle returned, abruptly going under your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. You didn’t even get the time to react as Hirofumi let your leg down to shove you forward against the tentacle. Gasping, you planted your hands against the tentacle in a pathetic attempt to push yourself up but it was now impossible with his weight pressing you down. His hands were holding your hips in a death grip and rubbing your clothed ass onto his own clothed crotch. You were moving away from his hips helplessly, unaware of the tentacle pushing your bra up to let your tits bounce free. Only when the cool air hit your bare chest, you became aware of what the tentacle was doing. Your nipples perked up and the slimy skin caressing your skin made you flinch, the feeling of one of its suckers on your nipple was enough to make you shriek in disgust.

Hirofumi chuckled, his hands on your hips slid up, feeling your curves before dragging you against his clothed cock. He couldn’t help but grab your hair to pull it as he grinded against your ass with a little too much force. You could feel him growing bigger, he had to be a twisted creep to get off to this.

“Stop… no more…” Begging, you turned your head to look at him. With the way he was pressing you down, you couldn’t meet his gaze, instead found your cheek being pressed flat against the tentacle. Ignoring your pleads, Hirofumi pulled himself back to yank your pants down hurriedly as the tentacle latched one of the suckers on your nipple, toying with the sensitive nub. You started to breathe hard as the realization of how vulnerable you actually were hit you hard. All you could do was to pathetically attempt to get away from Hirofumi to be assaulted by the tentacle instead.

Then the loud sound of his belt buckling made you jolt, the tears and begging for him to stop came right after. You would do anything for him to stop. However your cries were ineffective, they didn’t stop him from pulling down your panties and drinking up the sight of your naked lower half. They only seemed to spur him on even more.

“Stop…” you whimpered and struggled. Tears started streaming down your face as a choked sob left your lips. He smiled against the skin on your shoulder in response while lining himself on your entrance. Twisting your arm behind your back to keep you still, he put his entire weight behind his hips to surge them forward and buried the entire length of his cock in your cunt.

Wincing, you gasped. Hirofumi took it as a signal to move. You were awfully wet, each time he pulled back himself to slam his hips forward, the squelching sounds of your pussy filled the silence of the forest. If that wasn't gross enough, your cheek was being grazed against the slimy skin of the tentacle, its fishy stench started to overwhelm you, making you gag.

“Ahh, you like this don’t you?” He tentatively pulled his hips back to abruptly slam them into your pussy.

“No…” You bit back a moan, closing your eyes and begging for all of it to stop internally.

“You’re getting off to this, you’re sopping wet.” Hirofumi mounted you completely, you could feel his entire weight settle on your back. “Be a good girl for me, will you? Be honest, it’s just the two of us here.”

You grumbled in response.

“Makima isn’t listening.” He nosed some hair out of his way to whisper in your ear. “Only I will hear your confessions. You can tell me anything, trust me.”

“Go to hell,” you hissed. If he was going to kill you, so be it! You weren’t going to give him the pleasure of humiliating you. All you had left was your pride and you were planning to keep it until the very end.

He slammed his hips forward, hitting your sweet spot on the first try. His firm thrust was all it took for you to silently scream, with the air in your lungs completely gone from the impact, you were clenching around his cock. You opened your mouth to take in some air but the tentacle wrapped around your neck, squeezing tightly around you to prevent you from breathing. The tip of the tentacle forced its way into your mouth and swirled around your tongue before diving deeper down into your throat. Hirofumi placed his hand on the tentacle, tapping twice for it to loosen around your neck. The tentacle left your mouth with a disgusting pop sound. Then he replaced the tentacle with his own hand, shoving his fingers into your mouth and grabbing you from the inside of your cheek.

Now, when he thrust forward and picked up his pace, you couldn’t bite back your moans. To your utter horror, it worked. Every thrust of his hips left you moaning, gasping for air. His merciless, rough thrusts remarkably sped up, especially in comparison to before. He was humping you like a rabid dog now and he responded to your surprised moan with a long, pleased hum.

Your drool started to spill out from your mouth and down to your chin since you didn’t have the luxury to swallow the saliva with three long digits prying your mouth open. You moaned audibly and threw your head back when his cock stroked a specific spot along your insides, Hirofumi took this opportunity to bite into your nape hard enough to draw blood, on a second note, you started to think he could be an actually rabid dog.

A scream left your lips, more out of pleasure than pain.

Hirofumi’s teeth sank deeper into your flesh as he felt your gummy walls pulsate around his cock, clenching and begging to be filled with his seed. He gave a muffled chuckle against your flesh, chewing on the raw skin. Although you weren’t honest in the slightest, your body was.

The tentacle’s tip went between your legs and the sucker latched onto your clit, catching you by surprise and making your entire body shake in pleasure.

How cute.

With a delighted smile, Hirofumi stopped biting your nape. He licked your blood off of your skin all the while he was fucking you frenziedly, thrusting in and out your pussy with sloppily wet sounds that started to make your knees unbuckle. Swallowing down your pride, you gave in to the pleasure so you could move your hips and arch your back to meet his frantic thrusts. At the same time, the tentacle toyed with the sensitive nub. It all made your legs trembled under you as your moans got louder than before.

Hirofumi's pace suddenly slackened when his cock throbbed upon your walls clamping on him. Taking his hand from your mouth, he placed it on your shoulder to grab you. He pulled his hips back and abruptly slammed forward, punching the air out of your lungs one last time as you felt the slight twitch of his balls on your skin before a pleasing warmth filled your belly.

The tentacle moved in tight circles around your clit and you clenched around Hirofumi’s cock for the last time, milking more of his seed using your pulsating walls inside of your cunt. Even after the tentacle left you alone, Hirofumi continued fucking his cum into your pussy, gross squelching sounds from his seed gushing out from your abused hole had become a white noise to you at this point. By the time he pulled out of you and let you go, your legs gave up from under you. Before you could crash on the dirty mud, the tentacle caught you, holding you up in a gentle grip.

Hirofumi was tucking himself into his pants while you watched him in exhaustion. He noticed your stare and gave you the same unsettling smile. “I think you’d be a great devil hunter if you were partnered up with me. Makima would agree if I said so. Won’t you agree too?”

You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore but you managed to blink slowly in response, mouthing a ‘yes’ in defeat.

Hirofumi’s eerie smile grew wider, his eyes squinted from his cheeks puffing up. “I look forward to working with you in the future.”

The depths of the ocean had many things hidden at the bottom where sunlight never reached. Fish still yet to be discovered, monsters and devils.

Swimming in the ocean was something you could never do since the thought of never knowing what might be hiding underneath the dark waters was horrifying.

However, the terrifying creatures of the ocean could never get you as long as you stayed on the land.  

Right?

~~~

Hitchhiking wasn’t as dangerous as you had anticipated. When you told your close friends that you would be making your way out of the city by hitchhiking, they warned you about the dangers of getting in the car with someone who might want to hurt you. No matter how much you tried to explain to them how you had to lay low and stay away from any public transportations to not get caught, they didn’t listen.

However you hadn’t listened to them either, that was why you were sitting on your luggage near the roadside. You were only a couple of towns away from the city but you still had a long way to travel.

It had taken you more than a dozen rides to get to here from where you had started. Normally it would take two hours by car to travel here but it took you eight hours to get where you were now.

It was getting late, your last ride had promised to drop you off next to a place you could stay the night but the man was too creepy to look at and you felt uneasy to be stuck in the truck with him.

Naturally, you had insisted that he dropped you off on the first roadside diner.

You regretted it now. It was the middle of the night, you didn’t have any place to stay and the roadside diner you had been planning to eat was out of your budget.

Either you had to get a ride now to save money to travel to a cheaper roadside diner or go out of your budget and stay the night here feasting on food… The latter option was the worst. Saving money was more important.

You knew how to attract a ride anyway. Smile in a friendly way, hold up your ‘going to the countryside!’ sign, and hope for the best. You wouldn’t wait any longer than between ten to fifteen minutes before hitching a ride but it was almost impossible to get a ride at night.

There was no way that someone would drive you to the next town or somewhere you could sleep. Everyone was on the edge because of the devil attacks that had started happening more frequently.

No. Don’t think about devils. Not now. Not ever.

With a long sigh, you redirected the light from your flashlight onto the map. You could wait until the morning or start walking on the side of the road until you came across a gas station; however, it all felt like a waste of time and effort. This side of the city didn’t have anything but trees on the roadsides. It could be dangerous to walk close to the forest at night too, you had heard the devils who lived in nature would come out at night.

The sound of your stomach grumbling brought you out of your frantic thoughts.

You were starving, the last thing you ate was a granola bar in the morning. It had been quite a while since you had last eaten but if you went over your budget, you might not be able to make it to your destination.

“Where are you headed?”

Startled, you turned your head to the man who was talking to you. He looked around your age, he had black hair and a rather creepy smile tugging at his lips.

“Um, the countryside.”

“Oh, you’re all alone?” he asked.

You nodded to confirm. Then internally yelled at yourself for telling him that you were alone. He could be someone dangerous.

“I’m headed to the countryside too, want me to give you a ride?” He gestured towards a black car parked in front of the diner.

You would have taken his offer if it weren’t for the sinister smile on his face.

“Thank you but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.” You averted your gaze from him and shone the light back on the map.

“It’s dangerous to be out this late at night.” He put his hands in his pockets, shrugging slightly. “I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I didn’t take you to safety.” He gestured towards the parked car behind him once again. “I'll give you a ride, free of charge.”

He had cornered you, there was no reason for you to refuse his offer. You were still conflicted though, you would have turned him down if it wasn’t this late in the night. He didn’t look like the type of person to take no for an answer either. You couldn’t say no to his generous offer but you kept hesitating. If you were to find the perfect excuse maybe he would leave. However, you didn’t have any excuses.

Ugh!

Why were you even hesitating? You needed a ride and here was this guy, offering to take you away from the doomed city. You hit the jackpot!

“A-are you sure?”

“Come on, I was about to leave.”

“Ah, I can’t thank you enough.” Gathering the stuff you had with you and putting away the flashlight, you forced yourself to smile at him. “You saved me from waiting who knows how long for another ride.”

He didn’t say anything as he led the way towards his car. Opening the baggage, he let you put your luggage in the back and closed it. As you were walking around the car to open the door and sit on the back seat, the guy spoke before he hopped on the driver seat himself.

“I have stuff in the back, sit on the front.”

You stared inside through the window to see two large black bags on the backseats. Reluctantly, you reached to open the front door and climbed inside the car.

“So, where are you exactly headed?” He asked as he put on his seatbelt.

His question brought you out of your frantic thoughts. “Somewhere remote.”

“Hmm, so no specific destination? Don’t you have a family member who’s waiting for you? Where are you going to stay?”

You didn’t have anywhere to stay. At least not yet. Your plan was to find a motel and stay somewhere remote until people forgot about you.

Most importantly, it didn’t feel like he was asking these questions to start a conversation. You changed your mind, wanting to get out of the car.

You turned your head to tell him that but his unsettling stare left you speechless.

He asked a more particular question. “Do you have a specific address you want me to drop you off to?”

“I-in front of the first cheap motel we come across would be perfect.” You clutched on your small shoulder bag. You felt nervous when people stared at you for too long.

He hummed in acknowledgment as the car rolled forward.

“You seem to have a lot of luggage. Moving somewhere?” he spoke again, taking a turn and getting on the highway.

Your head jerked up, looking at him. “Um, uh.” You were hesitant to lie. “I’m just backpacking around the country.”

“Wouldn’t it be cheaper to bike instead of hitchhiking?” He wasn’t even facing you but you could tell he was smirking at your utter stupidity. “Or rather do it with a group?”

Although your throat felt dry, you didn’t dare to swallow. “Probably but I wanted to have a little adventure for myself, alone.”

“Don’t backpackers usually have a backpack and not a luggage?”

“I just have too many things I need with me.” Ahh, you were so bad at lying. Stop fidgeting with your fingers and looking around like that. He will notice. Just… change the subject. “A-anyway, I don’t think we introduced ourselves. I’m (name), what’s your name?”

“Hirofumi.” He grabbed the gear shift, changing it to a higher level and speeding up. You sank deeper into your seat and started to panic. Only then you realized you hadn’t put on your own seatbelt. While you were hurriedly trying to put it on, Hirofumi pressed on the cigarette lighter button. You hoped he wasn’t going to smoke inside the car but failed to notice how there weren't any cigarette tar stains on the interior of the car.

He took a sharp turn, you grunted but managed to put your seatbelt on. As you sat back in your seat, the first thing you noticed was that he was driving down towards a road leading towards the forest.

“Um, I think you took a wrong turn,” you said, bringing it up to his attention.

“It’s a shortcut.” He kept his eyes on the road that was only being illuminated by the headlights, everything else was dark, you had no idea what kind of shortcut he was taking.

There was this feeling of being in the middle of the ocean. You could feel something sinister was lingering in the deep dark water underneath you. Something was about to emerge and grab you by your ankle, pull you down, and drown you.

You knew how to swim.

However, could you swim if whatever thing was pulling you down turned out to be a lot stronger and scarier than anything you had ever faced?

Could you struggle when you were this weak?

Could you fight when you had nothing to fight with?

Without your weapons.

Without your badge.

Without your devil.

“You know, hitchhiking was a great idea,” he said, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he continued smiling. “It was a smart option but for someone as dumb as you, there was a way to ruin it. You went and told all of your dumb friends about your plan.”

You stared at him for some sort of explanation but you didn’t need any. Yet you still asked him, whimpering, “W-what are you talking about?” Your bottom lip had started trembling.

He knew.

“For a devil hunter, your sense of danger is too low.”

A tremendous wave of panic washed over you when he sped up.

“Who are you?” Did you even need to ask? He was one of those private hunters. Makima had most likely sent him after you.

Despite being a devil hunter from the city, you were now weak. You had resigned from your work without notice and broke the deal with your devil. Although it had been an impending decision rather than a sudden one, you had left your work abruptly.

After watching so many people die and losing who you had thought would be your friends for a long time, the bitter truth of being a devil hunter had resurfaced.

Devil hunters were destined to die on the job, sooner or later.

The money you earned from being a devil hunter could let you live in comfort materialistically until the day you died but having to suffer from nightmares every single time you put your head on the pillow or closed your eyes could never be comforting. It wasn’t worth it.

You didn’t want to lose more people or see any more grotesque devils murdering civilians but once you started working under Makima’s orders, leaving wasn’t that easy.

That’s why you were on the run.

Even though you had sworn to protect the people of your country, you were running away from the job that gave you a purpose to your insignificant life like a coward.

How childish.

The cigarette lighter popped off with a soft click sound, bringing you out of your hectic thoughts.

He was taking you back… He was going to hand you over to Makima. You were going to work until you died.

“You should’ve gone up north, going south was predictable. Well, at least if you hadn’t told your friends about the hitchhiking part, maybe you’d go under everyone’s radar. However you’re a chatty one, aren’t you? Some ‘friendship comes before work’ type of person, huh? That would explain a lot-”

Hirofumi’s words didn’t reach you anymore. The color drained from your face and your ears started ringing. Your whole body started to shake, and tears started streaming down your cheeks. “Please,” you sobbed, your voice came out shaky, pathetic. “Please don’t do this. I did nothing. I’m just tired of all of the deaths and I can’t handle it any-”

“You can’t talk your way out of this,” Hirofumi said as he took another sharp turn, driving deeper into the forest.

You found yourself stuttering, ”Y-you don’t understand.” You looked at Hirofumi with tears in your eyes. “I’ll be killed.”

“What are you so unhappy with?” Hirofumi spoke again but he wasn’t even facing you. “It’s not like you were living contentedly up until now, were you? In that case, it makes no difference where you live or what you do for a living. Or if you’re killed or not.”

Your face found a new shade of pale. He wouldn’t understand. He was one of those crazy devil hunters who had shut their humanity off.

“You only had to kill demons for a bit and you got rice every day. It might as well be heaven but I guess you weren’t a real hunter.” His smile grew wider as he was watching the trees creep towards him slowly before zooming past the window. “You can die in peace now.”

You got quiet but your tears didn’t stop.

With a vicious smile on his lips, Hirofumi turned away to face you. “You know, a pro devil hunter wouldn’t cry.”

Everything was spinning, it made you believe that your head felt fuzzy. It didn’t even occur to you that he was driving at a normal speed now. Almost immediately you tried to think of an escape plan. Could you manage to run away if you were taken to the headquarters? There was no way you could and that was why you had to fight with everything you had to refuse to go with him. You looked out of the window, the forest could be a great way to lose him. The trees and the darkness could cover you, giving you the advantage to sneak away without having to face this guy in a battle. What was your next move going to be?

You didn’t know but you had to get away.

You stared at the door lock, it was locked but you could lift it even without him noticing. The speed was still accelerating but if you managed to jump out of the car you would have a head start by running. The car wouldn’t stop until his shock wore off and that would give you the great advantage of looking for a place to hide.

There weren’t many people or devils out in the forest at this time of the night. Hopefully. It would be easy for you to run without being seen by another person who could tell him where you went.

What if a devil attacked-

Getting overwhelmed, you took a sharp breath and exhaled loudly. You had to calm down. You didn’t have much time to think over the plan, you just had to do it. If you waited for too long you were going to lose this chance of getting away.

Hesitantly, you glanced at Hirofumi. To your luck, he was only focused on driving.

Cone on. Come on. Come on.

Your heart was pounding, a single cold sweat droplet trickled down from the burning skin of your temple to your cheek as you carefully and suddenly unlocked the door. But you forgot about the most important thing. Your seatbelt. Your biggest mistake was forgetting to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you had twisted your body to jump out of the car, you had found yourself stuck, slammed back into your seat from the force of the seatbelt itself.

Hirofumi stared at you as if it wasn’t a big deal that you opened the door of the moving vehicle or how you were trying to escape. He lifted his right hand up while he crossed his middle and index fingers, “Octopus.”

Your blood ran cold as a giant tentacle emerged outside of the car from a dark cloud and slammed the door closed. You were frozen in your seat as if your muscles had dried up and turned to stone.

What was that?

No, you didn’t want to know.

The car decelerated until it slowly rolled to a stop.

You didn’t dare to look at Hirofumi but you knew he was smiling at you. You knew he had that sinister smile plastered on his face, glowering at you with his big dark eyes.

“Ink.”

He turned off the engine, the headlights flickered off and it became pitch black. Darker than black. It all swallowed you whole. It was as if light didn't exist, the only thing you could see was the dangerous glint in his eyes.

Hirofumi calmly plucked off the burning hot cigarette lighter and held his hand out towards you but you couldn't see. “Ms. Makima told me to bring you to the headquarters,” he said, pausing momentarily as you were trembling in fear, unable to move a muscle. “Dead or alive. I get paid either way.”

You gulped audibly. This was it, wasn’t it? The end.

There was another long pause before he sighed and pressed the cigarette lighter on your thigh. “Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.”

The sharp pain made your eyes widen and your mouth popped open in pain. You could run away, you just had to unbuckle the seatbelt and bolt out of the car.

However, as soon as your hand went to the buckle to pop the latch plate out, he firmly pressed the metal lighter on the back of your hand.

Yowling in agony, you refused to retrieve your hand and instead unbuckled your seatbelt. Without giving him another chance to attack, you opened the door.

As soon as you fell on the mud, you took a couple of wobbly steps before finally gaining your strength and used the ground as a springboard to start running without looking back. Things weren't as dark now, you could see well but you still were confused about things. Without actually having a clear idea of your whereabouts you kept running deeper into the forest but you couldn’t run in a straight line, you had to confuse him with which way you were running. Abruptly, you stopped to look around to see where you could run. The sudden movements made you lose your balance, stumble and fall down. You scraped your knees. Without checking your injuries, you got up to make a sudden bolt to your right.

Your own heavy footsteps were echoing each time your foot made contact with the wet mud. Or... no. Those weren't echoes of your own footsteps they were more like- They belonged to someone else-

“You’re running too slow.” A scoff.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him running next to you. He wasn’t out of breath like you were but he lifted his hand towards you, pointing his forefinger at your face before crossing his middle finger over the other digit.

He was going to call out his devil again.

With a sob, you made a move to change your direction but it was too late.

“Octopus.”

Black smoke appeared behind him. From the dark mist, a tentacle emerged, abruptly grabbing you by the waist, you flailed violently as soon as your body crashed onto the tentacle. It lifted you up, punching the air out of your lungs from the force of its grip around your body. You started hitting the tentacle’s slimy skin, crying and yelling at the same time. “Let me go, let go!”

Hirofumi pressed his hand on the tentacle and walked towards you while dragging his hand on it. “You’re more fun than I thought.”

As he was getting closer, you struggled within the tentacle’s hold by kicking helplessly at the air. “Get away from me!”

He stopped in front of you and looked up at you with that same disturbing smile before tapping on the tentacle twice. “I took a liking to you.” The tentacle lowered you down until Hirofumi tapped on it again to stop. “You’re quite interesting.”

The tentacle tightened its grip around you and forced your arms to be pressed against your chest. You were getting crushed, you kept trying to inhale but no air was going inside your lungs.

“However it still would be less of a hassle for me to take your corpse to Ms. Makima. You’re just too annoying.”

Fear came rushing back, the bitter reality of how insignificant your life was a harsh truth to accept. Hirofumi could kill you without batting an eye, he would be fine with taking your life because at the end of the day he was going to get paid for doing his job.

You opened your mouth to beg for his mercy but nothing would come out. Your face was turning blue from lack of air instead.

Hirofumi said something you couldn’t hear. Instantly the tentacle’s hold loosened around you. With the pressure gone,  you greedily inhaled air, filling up your lungs and coughing.

“I’ll make it quick,” he said, this time frowning instead of smiling. “What a shame though, I thought we’d be able to work together in the future.”

“W-wait!” you coughed, trying to catch your breath to talk to him. “No, no, no! Please, I’ll do anything. Please,  I won’t try to run again, I’ll sit patiently and- and-”

He was very quiet, almost silent, but resolute. The blood in your face drained away when you heard his cold and terrifying tone asking you a question with three simple words, “You’ll do anything?”

Your eyes widened as you tried to process the meaning behind his words, you could feel your blood being pumped through your veins but something was wrong, there was a heavy feeling of something crawling under your skin.

“I’ll do anything.”

That sinister smile returned to his face.

The tentacle lowered you, now, your feet could touch the solid ground.

“I want you to prove me wrong,” he said, stretching his arms above his head.

“Huh?” The tentacle unwrapped around you but remained at the back while you stared at the guy in front of you in confusion. “Prove what?”

He positioned himself in a fighting pose. “Prove that you’re a devil hunter worth keeping alive. Let’s duke it out.”

He had to be kidding. You were nothing without a weapon or your devil. It was unfair to you and-

Hirofumi landed a sudden kick on your stomach, doubling in pain, you took a couple of wobbly steps back.

When you glanced up at him, you saw him jumping in his place as if he was only warming up. He was taunting you, don’t fall for it.

Yet you knew he wasn’t kidding about you proving him that you were a good hunter. He had made it clear. So you had no choice but to take him down if you wanted to live.

You aimed a kick towards him but he caught you mid-air by your ankle. Whimpering, you tried pulling your leg back to no avail. The panic of the situation started to settle in as he got closer to you. “That’s cute, you didn’t even put any strength behind your kick.” He tucked your leg around his waist, closing the distance between the two of you. His face had gotten awfully close, his hot breath ghosted over your face. For the first time tonight, you looked at his eyes directly, his pupils were dilated to the point of being completely black. You could see your own terrified expression being reflected back to you in them. To put it simply, you were at his mercy once again, balanced only on a single leg with no way of escaping his hold.

“You lose,” he grinned. “You really aren’t cut out to be a devil hunter.”

“Please,” you began but he interrupted you, his other hand pressing on the small of your back and sliding down your curves to squeeze a generous amount of the supple flesh of your ass. Your breath hitched, the uneasy feeling of being powerless against a higher rank like him made your stomach churn in fear.

“Let’s have some fun before you die.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

With that, the tentacle returned, abruptly going under your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. You didn’t even get the time to react as Hirofumi let your leg down to shove you forward against the tentacle. Gasping, you planted your hands against the tentacle in a pathetic attempt to push yourself up but it was now impossible with his weight pressing you down. His hands were holding your hips in a death grip and rubbing your clothed ass onto his own clothed crotch. You were moving away from his hips helplessly, unaware of the tentacle pushing your bra up to let your tits bounce free. Only when the cool air hit your bare chest, you became aware of what the tentacle was doing. Your nipples perked up and the slimy skin caressing your skin made you flinch, the feeling of one of its suckers on your nipple was enough to make you shriek in disgust.

Hirofumi chuckled, his hands on your hips slid up, feeling your curves before dragging you against his clothed cock. He couldn’t help but grab your hair to pull it as he grinded against your ass with a little too much force. You could feel him growing bigger, he had to be a twisted creep to get off to this.

“Stop… no more…” Begging, you turned your head to look at him. With the way he was pressing you down, you couldn’t meet his gaze, instead found your cheek being pressed flat against the tentacle. Ignoring your pleads, Hirofumi pulled himself back to yank your pants down hurriedly as the tentacle latched one of the suckers on your nipple, toying with the sensitive nub. You started to breathe hard as the realization of how vulnerable you actually were hit you hard. All you could do was to pathetically attempt to get away from Hirofumi to be assaulted by the tentacle instead.

Then the loud sound of his belt buckling made you jolt, the tears and begging for him to stop came right after. You would do anything for him to stop. However your cries were ineffective, they didn’t stop him from pulling down your panties and drinking up the sight of your naked lower half. They only seemed to spur him on even more.

“Stop…” you whimpered and struggled. Tears started streaming down your face as a choked sob left your lips. He smiled against the skin on your shoulder in response while lining himself on your entrance. Twisting your arm behind your back to keep you still, he put his entire weight behind his hips to surge them forward and buried the entire length of his cock in your cunt.

Wincing, you gasped. Hirofumi took it as a signal to move. You were awfully wet, each time he pulled back himself to slam his hips forward, the squelching sounds of your pussy filled the silence of the forest. If that wasn't gross enough, your cheek was being grazed against the slimy skin of the tentacle, its fishy stench started to overwhelm you, making you gag.

“Ahh, you like this don’t you?” He tentatively pulled his hips back to abruptly slam them into your pussy.

“No…” You bit back a moan, closing your eyes and begging for all of it to stop internally.

“You’re getting off to this, you’re sopping wet.” Hirofumi mounted you completely, you could feel his entire weight settle on your back. “Be a good girl for me, will you? Be honest, it’s just the two of us here.”

You grumbled in response.

“Makima isn’t listening.” He nosed some hair out of his way to whisper in your ear. “Only I will hear your confessions. You can tell me anything, trust me.”

“Go to hell,” you hissed. If he was going to kill you, so be it! You weren’t going to give him the pleasure of humiliating you. All you had left was your pride and you were planning to keep it until the very end.

He slammed his hips forward, hitting your sweet spot on the first try. His firm thrust was all it took for you to silently scream, with the air in your lungs completely gone from the impact, you were clenching around his cock. You opened your mouth to take in some air but the tentacle wrapped around your neck, squeezing tightly around you to prevent you from breathing. The tip of the tentacle forced its way into your mouth and swirled around your tongue before diving deeper down into your throat. Hirofumi placed his hand on the tentacle, tapping twice for it to loosen around your neck. The tentacle left your mouth with a disgusting pop sound. Then he replaced the tentacle with his own hand, shoving his fingers into your mouth and grabbing you from the inside of your cheek.

Now, when he thrust forward and picked up his pace, you couldn’t bite back your moans. To your utter horror, it worked. Every thrust of his hips left you moaning, gasping for air. His merciless, rough thrusts remarkably sped up, especially in comparison to before. He was humping you like a rabid dog now and he responded to your surprised moan with a long, pleased hum.

Your drool started to spill out from your mouth and down to your chin since you didn’t have the luxury to swallow the saliva with three long digits prying your mouth open. You moaned audibly and threw your head back when his cock stroked a specific spot along your insides, Hirofumi took this opportunity to bite into your nape hard enough to draw blood, on a second note, you started to think he could be an actually rabid dog.

A scream left your lips, more out of pleasure than pain.

Hirofumi’s teeth sank deeper into your flesh as he felt your gummy walls pulsate around his cock, clenching and begging to be filled with his seed. He gave a muffled chuckle against your flesh, chewing on the raw skin. Although you weren’t honest in the slightest, your body was.

The tentacle’s tip went between your legs and the sucker latched onto your clit, catching you by surprise and making your entire body shake in pleasure.

How cute.

With a delighted smile, Hirofumi stopped biting your nape. He licked your blood off of your skin all the while he was fucking you frenziedly, thrusting in and out your pussy with sloppily wet sounds that started to make your knees unbuckle. Swallowing down your pride, you gave in to the pleasure so you could move your hips and arch your back to meet his frantic thrusts. At the same time, the tentacle toyed with the sensitive nub. It all made your legs trembled under you as your moans got louder than before.

Hirofumi's pace suddenly slackened when his cock throbbed upon your walls clamping on him. Taking his hand from your mouth, he placed it on your shoulder to grab you. He pulled his hips back and abruptly slammed forward, punching the air out of your lungs one last time as you felt the slight twitch of his balls on your skin before a pleasing warmth filled your belly.

The tentacle moved in tight circles around your clit and you clenched around Hirofumi’s cock for the last time, milking more of his seed using your pulsating walls inside of your cunt. Even after the tentacle left you alone, Hirofumi continued fucking his cum into your pussy, gross squelching sounds from his seed gushing out from your abused hole had become a white noise to you at this point. By the time he pulled out of you and let you go, your legs gave up from under you. Before you could crash on the dirty mud, the tentacle caught you, holding you up in a gentle grip.

Hirofumi was tucking himself into his pants while you watched him in exhaustion. He noticed your stare and gave you the same unsettling smile. “I think you’d be a great devil hunter if you were partnered up with me. Makima would agree if I said so. Won’t you agree too?”

You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore but you managed to blink slowly in response, mouthing a ‘yes’ in defeat.

Hirofumi’s eerie smile grew wider, his eyes squinted from his cheeks puffing up. “I look forward to working with you in the future.”

[etherealhoneybee777]

My first ever fanfiction! (Work in Progress)

Summary:

Mikey has been feeling depressed for weeks, but mean comments about his cooking send him over the edge. Leo comforts Mikey and talks to him about his feelings, and he realizes the impact that words can have on his little brother. 

I wrote this fanfiction because I have a history of mental illness, and I project pretty hard onto Mikey. I wanted to see what it would be like if Mikey was depressed, and how his brothers would help him cope. Please excuse the potential bad writing! This is the first short story I’ve written in a long time :) TW for depression.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13941733/1/Small-Words-Tumbling

The fanfiction:

Small Words, Tumbling

Mikey was curled up on his bed, watching small slivers of light stream through the blinds of his window.

Worthless. Screw-up. Good-for-nothing. Waste of space. Everyone would be fine if you were gone.

He had spent the better part of the day in his room, only coming out to train and prepare meals. Although his brothers would often make fun of the disturbing things he would eat—like anchovy jellybean pizza-Mikey knew that they relied on him to cook practically everything, since they were hopeless in the kitchen. Mikey loved cooking because it made him feel valuable to his brothers. Mikey always had the unshakable feeling that he wasn't as good as the rest of his family. Donnie was a tech genius. Leo was the leader. Raph was a badass fighter. And Master Splinter was, well, Master Splinter. The rest of the family had something specific and valuable to contribute, and all Mikey could do was cook. Cooking was Mikey's talent. No one else in his family could do it. Sure, he wasn't the best fighter, but if Mikey didn't cook, no one could eat. Mikey had been feeling deeply depressed and worthless for months now, but the fact that he could cook made him feel valuable to his family. It was the only thing that made him feel valuable anymore, if he was being honest.

That's probably why what happened that morning hurt Mikey so bad.

That morning, Mikey strode into the kitchen confidently. He had the best idea in the world: grape French toast. Grape soda was delicious. French toast was delicious. So why not combine them?

And so Mikey labored in the kitchen, stirring flour, egg yolks, butter, and sugar until it made a smooth mixture. Then, he pulled the grape soda out of the fridge and poured a generous amount into the mixing bowl.

"Yeah!" Mikey screamed to the empty room, "This is gonna be awesome!"

Thirty minutes later, there were four plates piled high with vivid purple French toast. Mikey pulled out a can of whipped cream and a bottle of syrup and placed them on the counter next to the plates.

"Hey guys, it's time to eat!" Mikey bellowed into the layer. Raph, Donnie, and Leo, who had been watching some morning Space Heroes, got up and sluggishly walked to the kitchen.

"Thank God, I'm starving," Raph said, rubbing his plastron. As he walked into the kitchen though, his slight smile turned into a scowl. "Mikey," he growled, looking at the purple pieces of toast, "What the fuck is this?"

"It's grape French toast, dude!" Mikey said as he tried to hand the stacked plate to Raph. Suddenly, Mikey lost grip of the plate, and three pieces of grape French toast went flying towards Raph's lap.

"Seriously, Mikey?" Raph sneered. Then, he picked up a piece of the purple French toast and waved it in the air, "Whatever this is…it's disgusting!" Raph lowered his voice to a hesitant grumble. "I just wish we'd order takeout instead of letting this genius cook. Honestly, I don't know what to do with him sometimes."

Mikey felt hurt blaze through his chest, for reasons he couldn't explain. He was used to being insulted by Raph, even though he was grumpier than usual today, but no one ever insulted Mikey's breakfasts. Sure, Mikey's cheesy jokes were often met with annoyance, and he was often belittled for being unfocused during fights, but no one ever insulted breakfast. Breakfast was Mikey's one sanctuary, the one place where the things he did could be appreciated.

Mikey looked at Donnie and Leo for some reassurance, but he couldn't find any. Leo was silently flicking his pieces of toast into the trashcan and reaching for a granola bar. Donnie was reluctantly sniffing his pieces of toast but refusing to take a bite.

"Maybe you should go back to cooking the regular breakfasts, you know?" Donatello said, not unkindly. Mikey's heart felt like it was about to burst as he watched Donnie scrape his toast into the trashcan and wash his plate.

"I'm sorry, guys," Mikey said, looking at the ground sheepishly, "Eggs and bakies tomorrow, I promise!" he continued with forced cheer.

Raph grumbled as he walked out of the room and sat on the couch to continue watching Space Heroes. Donnie scurried off into his lab. Leo moved to walk out, but not before he caught a glimpse of the hurt in Mikey's bright blue eyes.

"Hey, Mikey," Leo said, lips bent downwards in concern, "Raph is just a little grumpy today."

But the damage had already been done. As Leo turned away, Mikey's eyes started stinging, and all of Mikey's negative thoughts came flooding to the surface. You're not good enough. You're not as good as your brothers. You can't get a single thing right. Screw-up. They would never miss you if you were gone. Mikey ran to his room, making sure that his brothers couldn't see the tears welling in his eyes.

He stayed in his room for most of the day, only coming out to train. When Mikey trained that day, he only spoke to answer questions and say Hai sensei. He didn't see his brothers trade looks of concern with each other. When training was over, Mikey walked briskly back into his room.

"What's wrong with Mikey?" Raph asked, a tone of annoyance veiling his concern.

"He'll probably come out and tell us soon enough," Leo replied, looking anxiously towards Mikey's room.

Mikey sat in his room for hours. It was so impossibly lonely, not being with his brothers, but how could he face them now? He wasn't good enough, and he didn't want to be a burden to them. He had cried his eyes out for an hour, until he felt like he couldn't cry anymore. It was so stupid that he felt this way over an offhand rude comment Raph made about his cooking. But, the truth was that Mikey had been feeling pretty worthless for weeks, and Raph's comment seemed to validate Mikey's feelings. Mikey desperately wished he could be someone else, someone focused and attentive during battle, someone who knew how to talk to people. He wanted people to laugh with him, but they only laughed at him. Like he was some big joke.

Mikey didn't want to be a joke. He wanted to be a leader, a badass, someone with a purpose. But he was just a burden. A screw up. And his brothers were left to pick up the pieces. Honestly, they would be better off if he wasn't around.

Mikey slowly felt himself sinking deeper in his bed as his thoughts consumed him. He almost didn't hear the slow, methodical knock at the door.

"Mikey, can I come in?"

Leo.

Mikey didn't answer. He had started crying again, and besides that, he just really didn't want to talk to Leo. Mikey was surprised when the door squeaked open and golden light filled his room anyway.

"Mikey!" Leo's eyes widened as he saw the tear tracks on Mikey's face. "Oh my god."

Mikey felt Leo place his weight on the bed. He turned to look at Leo's eyes. Cool and calm. But Mikey could tell that beneath his collected exterior, Leo was panicking.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Leo said, a little too gingerly. Leo was used to comforting Mikey after his nightmares when they were young, but, now that they were older, Leo no longer knew the words to make his brother feel better.

Mikey stared at Leo. He felt like there was a huge blank expanse between them, like a black sky with no stars. Mikey desperately wanted to reach out and close the divide, but Leo would never understand how Mikey felt. Leo was a fearless leader. He always knew what to do, and people took him seriously when it counted. Meanwhile, Mikey felt that he was the last person anyone would trust in an intense situation.

Leo furrowed his brow in concern at Mikey's silence. "Talk to me, Mikey. Was it the thing that Raph said this morning? We didn't mean to hurt your feelings by not eating the breakfast you made for us."

Mikey shifted his eyes to the floor. "Uh…it is and isn't about what Raph said this morning," he said finally. "I just…I don't know. I just feel like everyone has their thing, you know? Like you're the leader, and Donatello is the smart one. Raph is super good at fighting and Master Splinter has taught us everything we know. But no one really needs me. And I always screw up our fights, too." Mikey's mouth felt dry now that he had said what he had been feeling for months out loud. Surprised that it came out that fast. But he had wanted to say it, needed to say it.

Leo's bright blue eyes widened in surprise. "Mikey, we do need you." He put a comforting hand on Mikey's shoulder. "And your thing is being Mikey. The team wouldn't be the same without you. And sure, you've messed up our fights sometimes, but you've saved us more times than I can remember," he looked down and continued gravely, "We are all equally valuable in this family."

Mikey refused to look at Leo. Leo's words were comforting, but for some reason, Mikey's throat felt like it was filling with clay. It was only when his vision blurred that he noticed he was crying. The crying quickly evolved into full-on sobbing. It felt like a torrential storm, punctured only by the choked sounds of his shaky breaths.

"Oh god, oh god. Mikey…"

Before Mikey knew it, his head was buried in Leo's chest, and his body was wrapped tightly in strong green arms. Leo rubbed Mikey's head, which he usually only did when Mikey was seriously injured. Mikey should have felt closer to Leo, but he felt the black, starless expanse between them getting wider and wider.

Mikey pulled away, wiping his eyes. "You just wouldn't understand."

Leo's eyes flashed with hurt, but he quickly replaced it with his signature practiced calmness. "Wouldn't understand what?"

"You're the person that everyone needs. You're our leader. If you were gone, nothing would ever be the same. You don't understand being worthless. You don't understand what it's like to be the kind of person that could disappear forever, and no one would ever miss. That's my life, dude," Mikey said, his voice strained from all the crying.

Mikey looked at Leo. And he was surprised to see that the pantomimed calm patience that usually occupied Leo's eyes be replaced by an intense, gripping fear.

"You're not worthless, Mikey. You mean so much to all of us," Leo said. "I love you, little brother" he continued. Mikey could tell that wasn't all that was on his mind.

Leo paused a long time before finally speaking again.

"Mikey…you haven't ever thought of hurting yourself, have you?" Leo's voice was shaky and deeply sad. Even though Mikey had been crying, for some reason Leo sounded sadder than he was.

"No," Mikey answered quickly and with certainty. Truthfully, he had never even considered it, at least, not in any real way.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Mikey gave him a slight smile.

Leo pulled him into a second embrace, squeezing Mikey even harder than he did last time. This time, Mikey didn't pull away. He just stayed there, leaning against Leo's neck, feeling a million times lighter than before. The black expanse between the two brothers had vanished, and he felt closer to Leo than he ever did.

"Mikey…" Leo started, and then paused. Mikey could tell by the strained choke of his words that Leo had started crying.

"Mikey," Leo began again, "If anything ever happened to you, I would miss you for the rest of my life."

[copias-thrall]

I had an idea How would a demon!Papa III be in heat with his mate that is a rather shy female s/o (the s/o being human in this case)

It is not something unknown to the two of you. Papa III is a demon, and demons have heat cycles. Being an older man, Papa III’s cycles are a bit more regular …but for demon he’s still considered young, so his ruts still pack a pretty potent punch. Before giving in to his feelings for you, how you would receive him during his cycle almost had him giving up—an unmated demon going through a heat with a partner is uncomfortable; one going through a cycle without a mate is painful. How could he ask that of you, knowing your disposition? Knowing if you refused to sate him, he’d have to take a temporary lover?

Luckily you pushed him to confide his concerns in you, and the two of you have had many subsequent conversations about expectations, consent, and safety.

*heat sex; hard biting; knotting*

“I will be very, ah—insistent, little one. Aggressive. Like a beast.”

“But not a mindless beast.”

“Sí. Not mindless—merely … distracted.”

“Will you hurt me?”

“Perhaps a little, mia cara. Some biting, a few scratches. But not in the way you mean, I am thinking.”

“And if you can’t take it, amore?”

“I can.”

“If you can’t.”

“Will I be in danger if I try to leave?”

“I may beg and plead, but I won’t bar you. But I would need a proxy, cara. The damage to myself I would do …”

“So I will take it, now hush.”

The thing about Papa III’s heat is that it’s not an exact science (when Papa III tried to explain to you it’s a ballpark of days and not a guarantee, you had to level him with a look—“I know, my love. I get a period every month.”). So while you both know the week, the day and the hour are still unknown factors.

Papa III’s mini fridge is stocked up with coconut water, and he has a whole crate full of protein and granola bars. The kitchen staff is on call for any other needs (like the meat freezer full of choice-cut steak). You have gotten permission for heat leave from your Abbey duties.

It’s midmorning when one of Papa III’s Ghouls comes to fetch you. It’s not a surprise, but it is two days earlier than the date circled on the calendar. You don’t bother changing or performing your morning toilet—you nod in understanding to the Ghoul, and you grab your prepped duffel bag.

When you enter Papa’s quarters, it’s the smell that hits you first: it’s not an unpleasant smell, but it’s strong—a musky, salty aroma that still manages to smell like Papa’s own spicy-flower scent. The Ghoul ushers you to Papa III’s bedchamber; when he opens the door, the smell hits you like a slap to the face full force, and you stagger back as if physically hit.

Papa explained that you might be affected by his scent; while humans don’t experience heat and scent the way demons do, he warned that you might experience it as the feeling you get when getting a whiff of him from a shirt—but on steroids. It’s a very pleasant loverboyfriend-type smell, and without your permission, your mouth fills with saliva.

You’re taken out of your haze a bit when you see Papa III curled in the fetal position, panting, around a pillow. He’s naked—sheets in a tangle around his ankles—and his skin is slick with sweat; his face has no trace of paint on it. You cry out at his distress, and make to go for him—when you’re stopped by a warning growl.

Distracted by Papa’s smell and appearance, you hadn’t noticed that the Ghoul with you had been affected too. Its fangs are bared and glistening, its eyes are glowing yellow beneath its mask, and its tail is stuttering back and forth. You freeze, trying to remember the orientation video on feral Ghouls. It growls again low in its throat before hissing at you and arching its back in an obvious challenge. While the orientation video warned never to get between a Ghoul in heat and its mate, it DID NOT cover what to do when the mate was yours. 

The Ghoul snaps its jaws at you and flashes its claws. You know you’re not supposed to even think about fear, but you’re on a hair trigger—you can’t run, you can’t leave Papa, and you can’t fight this Ghoul. Your eyes cast about the bedchambers for anything that could be a weapon (surely he would understand if you used that frankly intimidating-looking huge dildo as a bludgeon, right?), but you and the Ghoul are both suddenly caught off guard by a clap and a low, throaty growl.

The both of you snap your heads toward Papa III, who is on his knees—chest heaving and glistening—fists clenched and eyes glowing red.

“Ghoul,” rumbles Papa in a voice that seems to come from within him and everywhere else all at once. The Ghouls whines. “Ghoul, you are not welcome. Leave us.” The Ghouls eyes you again and seems to vibrate. “ Now !” bellows Papa, and—while it does let out a sad keen—the Ghoul hastily retreats out of Papa III’s bedchambers and his suite.

Papa crumples as soon as he hears the door slam, and you go to run toward him, but he manages to gasp out, “The door, mia amore! Lock the door, per favore!”

You hesitate only for a moment before dropping your duffle and alighting to the door of his quarters. You turn the lock, then you sprint back to his bedchamber, making sure to latch that door behind you as well.

Papa III is once again curled in on himself and trembling. You’re quick to scramble into the bed—his nudity is a lesser concern to you than his obvious wretchedness. You take his head in your hands and guide it to your neck—something he advised you would comfort him. His nose snuffles around until it finds the right spot and then presses into you. He takes a couple of deep inhales before his arms come around you and pull you into him, squashing the pillow that is trapped in between you two.

“I am sorry, amore. Mi dispiace. It came on so fast.”

You stroke his head. “Shh. It’s ok, love. What do you need?”

When the two of you had talked, Papa III had outlined how his rut usually went down: a sudden onset of fatigue followed by a mild fever; an increase in body temperature coupled with the inklings of arousal—all of these irritating, but manageable symptoms. These harbingers were supposed to alert Papa of the more intense waves to come—the spark of arousal turning into a burning itch needing to be scratched; the spike in body temperature; the cramping. But if Papa III’s current state is any indicator, he’s sailed through all his pre-heat symptoms and is now firmly in Stage 2.

Papa whines and you can feel him restrain himself from rutting into you.

“Please, cara … please. I need—”

Despite all the talks Papa III and you had and all the pep talks you gave yourself in the mirror, you’re suddenly hit with a spike of anxiety. The moment is here. Papa is going to fuck the shit out of you now. He must sense your trepidation—or maybe the sudden tenseness in your body—because he squirms away from you and literally puts you at arm’s length. Even as he’s rutting into the bed he’s apologizing to you.

“Forgive me, amore.”

Your heart breaks a little, and you’re quick to pull him back into you. You knew this was coming, and all you want is to ease your Papa through his ordeal.

“It’s ok, Papa. What do you need?” you ask again.

He presses plaintive kisses to your collarbone.

“Just you, mia amore. Just you.”

“Well. You have me.”

While you obviously intended to follow through on your assertion, you weren’t quite expecting Papa to give a snarl and roll on top of you immediately. He takes to your nightdress with his hands and teeth, tearing it down the middle to expose your nudity beneath. You give a surprised yelp, but Papa doesn’t even pause in his ministrations as he bites at your collarbone and squirms in between your legs. His knees spread your thighs apart, and when his hard cock encounters your panties, he just reaches down and rips them away as well.

Now, your Papa is always a conscientious and considerate lover. He’s all light touches and slow care with you. He always sees to you first, and he doesn’t adhere to any 1:1 ratio in terms of orgasms—which always seems to end in your favor. But tonight he is actually a man possessed. As soon as your panties are dealt with, his cock is poking at you as he whimpers in frustration. You do your best to reach down to guide him into you while he clutches your flesh; eventually he manages to press into you all on his own, stiffening and letting out an honest-to-god howl as his cock sinks further into the tight embrace of your cunt.

His mouth latches onto the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and he sucks at the tender skin there as he begins to pound frenetically into you. Even though Papa III warned you that he’d be taking his pleasure from you, the reality of it is a little overwhelmed. 

And yet.

Also a little arousing.

Papa pins you into the bed with the weight of his body and his vehement thrusts—there’s little you can do but go along for the ride—but it’s still him. It’s still his currently intoxicating smell and the sounds he makes in ecstasy; it’s still the planes of his body mashing against you and the hardness of his cock inside you.

The fire of arousal heats you, even if it’s not enough at the moment to sate you. You let Papa rut into you and mewl against your skin. The two of you have been working on your comfort in vocality—but tonight there’s no problem. Your breathy grunts and high moans only serve to egg him on as he uses the velvet slick of your cunt to ease the burning of need compelling him on. The stiffness of his cock plunges into you again and again and again—and you can feel as your slick leaks out around him and down his balls.

And oh.

Oh God.

OH SWEET LUCIFER ON A GODFORSAKEN BICYCLE.

The two of you had talked about the possibility of his knot making an appearance—something that happened to him only ever in a rut, and even then being half-human made it a rarity—but you’re still wholly unprepared when the sudden protrusion tugs at your entrance. It’s … extremely stimulating, and you moan out—which only causes Papa III to speed up impossibly. You begin to wail and clutch at the sheets as his knot gets bigger, tugging and pressing at you. Some small part of you is anxious about the way you sound and how you’re acting—but the rest of you is screaming at Papa III to Shove it the fuck in already.

The mounting pressure suddenly pops into your cunt, and you can feel it expand. You scream out—not a breathy scream of ecstasy—but an actual throaty scream at the intensity of it all as you climax hard. His knot fills you in a way you didn’t know existed and how it presses into all the right spots has you cumming 2 more times with demi-orgasms before your head clears enough to realize Papa has broken the skin of your shoulder as you’ve milked him, and he’s now contentedly lapping at the blood seeping out of the bite.

It’ll probably hurt like a bitch later, but right now Papa III has started rolling his hips and is grinding his knot into you. Bursts of pleasure spark behind your eyes, and you suddenly notice you’re rolling your hips too.

“Ah, ah, amore—so tight!”

You wrap your arms and legs around him, and the two of you grind at each other. The sweet pressure of his knot is inescapable—no matter which way you go, there’s stimulation, and soon you’re arching and clamping hard around him again. You hadn’t even noticed it was deflating until you feel his knot expand again, and he howls—trying to jerk into you but unable to fully thrust as he climaxes again.

“Santanas,” he gasps as he falls back down on to you. “Cease moving, little one. Unless you wish to be caught all night.”

“Ok, Papa.”

You’re definitely feeling sleepy, and you let yourself drift off as Papa applies soft kisses and gentle nips to your collarbone. When you wake, it’s because Papa is rolling off you—cock now soft. You feel the trickle of his cum leak out down your thighs as he folds a cover over you, and you wonder how uncouth it would be to use his sheets to wipe it off. Your train of thought is interrupted when you hear Papa whine as his hand hovers over your shoulder.

“I hurt you.”

“You warned me.”

He tsks and attempts to leave the bed, but he’s still in the throes of his rut, so all he accomplishes is teetering on wobbly legs and swooning back onto the bed.

“Papa!” You scootch over to him to gather him up. He trembles a little, and you’re not sure if it’s from his effort or the sweat cooling on him. 

“I’m getting you supplies.”

Your hand finds your nightgown—and then you remember it’s useless; you think about winding the sheet around you—but Papa’s currently laying on the other end, and you don’t want to upend him. Finally you see his favorite slinky robe, and you decide he won’t mind if you commandeer it for the time being.

Once you’re decent, you retrieve a carton of coconut water and a protein bar. You do notice that your shoulder is beginning to throb and sting. When you look up, you see that Papa III is watching you with glazed eyes.

“My phone, per favore, amore.”

You shift the other two items and grab the ancient rotary. It takes a bit of maneuvering, but you manage to get back onto the bed and over to Papa with all your treasures. You place the phone in between the two of you, and you let him dial as you crack open the water and peel the wrapper from the bar. As he murmurs into the receiver, you hand him bite-sized pieces of the protein bar and the carton to drink from. What you can tell from his end is that a nurse is being sent up to bandage your shoulder, but that she can’t tarry because apparently Papa triggered his Ghoul’s rut, who then went back to the Ghoul dorms and triggered a while outbreak of heat cycles, thus overwhelming the infirmary.

When he hangs up, he curls back around you, his cock already plumping to hardness once more. He ruts into your leg, and getting him to eat the last bit of bar and the rest of the coconut water is an exercise in futility, so you put them aside. Papa III squirms on top of you, his hard cock poking at you once again.

“Papa!” you gasp. “Papa, the nurse! I’ll have to let her in …”

“She has keys,” he says into your skin.

“But—” 

His dick drives home, and you gasp again.

“Need you, cara,” he keens as he begins to thrust into you again.

It goes much like the first time—Papa plunging hard and fast into you until his knot swells, locking the two of you together and setting off a feedback loop of pleasure as his swollen flesh presses into you and as you clench around him until a ceasefire is called. He bites a pillow instead of you this time, but his fingers have left crescents in the skin of your ams.

A sharp rap at the door of his bedchamber startles the both of you.

“Are you quite done, your Dark Excellency?” comes a muffled voice.

“Sí,” calls out Papa hoarsely.

“Papa!” you squeak. “I-I’m …”

He groans.

“Un momento,” he yells louder. Though you can tell it takes some effort, Papa rolls the two of you over so that you’re on top. He artlessly begins to pile the covers in a nest around you, and you take the hint to recinch the robe.

“Come!” he shouts.

There’s the sound of the key turning in the latch before an infirmary nurse, in her starched white habit, bustles into the room with a medical bag. You cast your eyes down as your face grows hot. 

“Sister Aggie,” says Papa III.

In a dry, deadpan tone, Sister Aggie says, “What did you do this time?”

Papa pets your thighs under the covers. You try not to clench down on his knot.

“Show her your shoulder, amore.”

You look up at her from under your lashes and you hesitantly peel the robe back from your shoulder, while still trying to keep yourself covered. She makes a tetch noise, but otherwise remains clinical in her approach to the bite. Whatever she swabs on it stings, and you hiss, flinching. It’s enough to make Papa moan and twitch, but Sister Aggie gives him such a sharp look that he just pants and clutches at the sheets. She’s just about done applying a sticky gauze over the bite when she sees the nail marks, and she pulls the robe down further for access despite your squeak of alarm at almost being exposed.

She fixes a stern gaze on Papa III.

“Your new mate isn’t a Ghoul, Dark Excellency. If you can’t be more careful, I would medically have to suggest you do use a Ghoul proxy—Lucifer knows there are enough of them on their own cycle right now because of you.”

Papa is shaking a bit, but he manages to assure Sister Aggie that he will be gentler with you.

“I’ll be back to check on you every several hours. I’m not sure why you didn’t already put a request in for wellness checks, Dark Excellency. 

“Private,” he pants out—and you know he means your privacy.

“Not anymore.” She catches your eyes. “Has he eaten?”

“U-Uh … I-I—some coconut water and most of a protein bar. He—ah!”

You grunt as Papa starts to grind up into you, moaning. Sister Aggie keeps talking to you as if Papa isn’t about to cum in you again and isn’t babbling at you in Italian.

“He’s going to need a lot more sustenance after this round. I heard from Ghoul 0 that he was up most of the night before you joined him. I’ll let the kitchen know, but you have to make sure he eats.”

You’re trying to pay attention, but Papa’s knot is pressing into you again as he rolls his hips, ratcheting up the throbbing in your cunt. You must’ve zoned out, because Sister Aggie is snapping her fingers in front of you.

“Sister—do you understand?”

Your cheeks burn, but you manage to nod at her. “M-make sure he eats. Got it.“

“I’m holding you to that, Sister.” 

She clicks her medical bag shut.

Papa moans and starts to twitch into you.

Despite your best efforts, the sudden, multiple pressures into you propels you over the edge.

“Oh god,” you punch out, and you curl over as you orgasm, your eyes closing shut as your clit pulsates and you clench hard around Papa III’s knot. You feel it inflate fully again as Papa snarls then catapults up—smacking your mouth hard as he captures your lips, grunting into your mouth as he cums again.

“Spiacente, little one,” he gasps afterwards. “Spiacente.”

As you pet at him, you turn to apologize to Sister Aggie, but she’s already gone.

When Papa pulls free this time the mess is … a lot more to deal with. Papa basically passes out, and—on shaky legs—you make use of his showerhead to clean up. You bring out a warm washcloth to clean him up as best you can, blushing as you hesitantly wipe between his legs (you were afraid that would wake him up and set him off again, but he dozes through all of it). 

As promised, the food from the kitchen is delivered (by another Sibling—they’re apparently keeping the Ghouls away from Papa III until the heat cycles dissipate), and you bring it into the bedroom. At the smell, Papa stirs and cracks open an eye.

The meal is steak—bloody for him—rotini, and buttered beets. You wolf down all of your food and down the rest of the open coconut water. Papa eats the steak and must be babied into eating half of the other portions, plus a fresh carton of water.

He’s giving you That Look again, but you’re not quite up to being knotted again, so you give him an enthusiastic hand job, making sure to squeeze and massage his knot. When he climaxes, his cum shoots out in force and lands hot and sticky on you with every squeeze of his knot that you give. By the time he seems finished, the amount of his cum that you’re covered in is almost comical. Papa presses into you, smearing it around both your bodies as he growls at you.

“Such a waste. Every drop should be in you. It should be filling you up so that you grow fat with my child.”

Even though Papa warned you he’d probably feel compelled to talk of breeding you, you’re still a little embarrassed at his words. You’re not expecting him to scoop some up with his fingers and try to finger it back into your hole. You attempt to squirm away, but at first he’s very insistent on getting it all into your cunt; you have to draw on your reserves to sharply tell him No before he stops—and even then he whimpers at you before dozing off again.

You wish the showerhead was long enough to reach into his bedroom.

It’s a very long few days. Despite Papa’s promise, he still manages to mark you up with scratches and bruises that make Sister Aggie cluck her tongue—though none bad enough for her to make good on her threat. You do your best to let him have you, but your human physical limitations are such that you just can’t handle multiple knotting in such quick succession—as amazing as they ended up being. Occasionally Papa will use your mouth, but he’s actually too afraid he might accidentally choke you with his knot that he’s more willing to let you jack him—even if that proves to be an inferior method of release.

He does have toys—the pocket vagina and tenga eggs getting the most use, and then that dildo you’d been prepared to use as a weapon (you’d been reticent to use it on him at first, but after watching him fuck himself on it, you quickly became eager to control it). He tried to convince you to use the strap-on on him, but you’re just not there yet.

Day 2 was the peak, and the hardest day—he’d been a begging mess and you’d felt you’d spent most of the day caught on his cock. On day 3 you’d noticed him slowing down, and by day 5 his knot had stopped swelling. You’d helped Papa III with his bedding and soiled towels, and the two of you had taken a very long bath full of epson salts and rosewater.

Day 6 is completely indulgent—Papa’s rut very obviously over—but he insists that recovery is absolutely a part of the heat cycle. As you lie on his chest encircled in his arms, you certainly aren’t going to contradict him.

He sighs and kisses the top of your head.

“You are still here, mia cara.”

You place a kiss on his pectoral. 

“I’m still here,” you agree.

[ritebeforeyoureyes]

Confessions

Love all of your lovely feedback, thank you. And, just a little disclaimer, my work is by no means real events and so please don’t take it too seriously. Some events will be real life events, others will be figments of my imagination x 

Masterlist - Plot: Tom and Zendaya finally have ‘the talk’ 

Confessions (Chapter Three) 

This time, when Tom woke up, Zendaya was by his side. Morning rays of daylight filtered into the room and the sudden change in daylight had forced Tom awake. However, a tired Zendaya was still snoring lightly into his bare chest. Tom was certain that their four rounds of loving making alongside her crazy schedule had officially taken its toll on her. She had fallen asleep mid conversation and Tom couldn’t help but laugh at her. He’d tucked her in and stroked her hair until her breathing fell into a rhythmic lull. That had been a good nine hours ago.

“Zendaya!” Tom heard the muffled shout from Darnell and then the door to her bedroom swung wide open. Panicked, Tom grabbed the duvet, covering up both a naked him and Zendaya. It turns out, whilst frantically manoeuvring into the room yesterday, they had forgotten to lock the door. “Oh, dear God.” Darnell shielded his eyes whilst Tom felt Zendaya stir by his side. It took her a few seconds to gather her surroundings before she freaked out.

“Uh, Darnell-“ Tom stuttered, unsure of how to react.

“Darnell!” Zendaya yelled as soon as realisation hit her. She jolted into a sitting up position, the sheets held to her body tightly. She was officially mortified. “What the heck, get out!”

“The car’s outside, you need to be at work in forty minutes.” Zendaya took a speedy glance at her phone and realised she’d overslept. She usually gave herself an hour and a half to go about her morning routine before making her way to set. But, today, all she had time for was a quick shower and a granola bar.

“Shit.” She cursed before turning back to Darnell. “Get out so I can get up, doofus.” Darnell looked down at her current naked state and then mentally slapped himself.

“Of course, be quick.” Darnell scuttered out of the room quickly and Zendaya turned towards Tom, a cringe settled against her lips.

“Not how I expected to wake up.” She touched Tom’s exposed shoulder briefly before scurrying out of bed. She was too late to even think twice about running into the bathroom naked. A completely alert and awake Tom, on the other hand, couldn’t help the grin settle across his features at the sight of her. Even in the morning, face makeup free, hair a mess; she was beautiful. He was mesmerised with watching her frantically get ready. Zendaya skipped around the room, grabbing her essentials, getting dressed. She was perfectly comfortable around him and Tom loved that.

“What time do you finish?” It was only seven in the morning and Zendaya let out a groan of defiance.

“I finish at ten tonight. Catch you guys for movies, later?” Tom wasn’t too happy about spending the day without Zendaya, but he didn’t have much time to react because within seconds she was racing out the door, Darnell in tow. Tom flopped back against the bed, only to be greeted by an amused Harrison’s voice.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” Harrison had been up early for a run and had heard and seen the ordeal between Tom, Zendaya and Darnell take place. He was chuckling softly, clearly entertained by the awkward situation. Having Darnell walk in on them was like having Zendaya’s brother catch them in the act. Tom was horrified.

“God no!” Tom shielded his eyes with his arm. “We have got to start locking doors.” The prospect of Haz or Darnell walking in whilst something not safe for work was occurring was making his face go red.

“So, are you guys like official now?” Haz was hoping they were. Him and Darnell had a bet going. Harrison had bet they would get together in the first two days of their stay in New York, Darnell, however, had his bets on the day the couple were meant to part.

“About that-“ Like the first time, Harrison had urged Tom to talk to Zendaya about where their relationship stood. Were they exclusive? Was this just a sex thing? Did they want a relationship? From experience, Haz knew that establishing boundaries early meant less heartache for both parties.

“Tom! You have to talk to her!”

“I know, I know, I will.”

Tom spent the whole day trying to figure what it was that he wanted with Zendaya. He knew – for a fact – that he adored her, and he wanted more of whatever they were doing was. Waking up to her in the morning had made him feel so content, there was no way he was giving that up. The sound of her moaning his name, the feel of her hands in his, the pucker of her lips – Tom was hopelessly devoted to her now.

“Zendaya.” After her long day at work, she was sat in a pair of sweatpants in front of him. There was a messy bun on top of her head and she was currently scoffing down some rice out of a Tupperware box.

“Hmm.” She managed to choke out between mouthfuls. Today work had been busy, and she had had to reshoot one particular scene a few times. Her acting hadn’t been up to par and the directors had her try again and again and … again. The stress of multiple retakes meant that she hadn’t had the stomach to eat properly all day. Truth be told, she was slightly distracted by the guy who was currently staring her down now.

“What are we?” Zendaya froze as she gulped down a rather large mouthful of food. She knew this conversation was overdue and honestly, she didn’t know to react to it. She knew what she wanted but she didn’t want to impose her beliefs about wanting a relationship on Tom. His whole world was about to change, and she wanted him to be certain about wanting commitment. Because, if Tom wasn’t certain, Zendaya couldn’t afford to get her heart broken again.

Zendaya had broken down when she’d found out that Trevor, her childhood sweetheart, had cheated on her. She questioned herself, wondered if she’d done something wrong to drive him away. It had taken her weeks to even leave her room, let alone fathom the thought of not having him in her life anymore. The ordeal had truly broken her and Zendaya hadn’t even been on a date since then. She was worried that if she wore her heart on her sleeve, she’d end up sad and alone again. The months of getting over Trevor had been some of the hardest times that she had experienced and the thought of putting herself through that again was painful.

“What do you want us to be?” Zendaya’s question was skilful. She wanted to see what Tom wanted before she poured her heart out to him.

“Z, I like you.” Zendaya smiled lightly in response. “And, being with you has been great, I don’t … I can’t imagine not … I … I want to be with you.”

“Are you sure?” Zendaya looked down at her food, refusing to meet Tom’s gaze. By the rigidness of his frame, she could tell her words had cut him in the wrong way, he was definitely offended by her question and what it was insinuating.  

“What do you mean, am I sure?” Tom’s question was rhetorical, and he leaned forward to cup her cheek, forcing her face upwards. “Why would you ask that?” By the sudden flash of sadness in her eyes, Tom seemingly understood Zendaya’s hesitation. “Babe, I’m not him-“

“No, Tom-“

“No, I’m serious Z, I am not Trevor and I never will be.” Tom’s thumb gently stroked at her skin. As her friend, she had confided in him about her breakup and Tom had wanted to rip the guys throat out because of it. Now, as more than a friend, Tom was determined to make her feel loved and wanted; everything that her ex failed to do. “I want to be the boyfriend you deserve and there is no fucking way that I’d screw it up by cheating on you.”

“But long distance is hard work and you’re Spider-Man now we can’t just-“

“I don’t care about any of that.” As if to prove his point, Tom wrapped his arms around her knees before pulling her legs into his lap. “All I know is that I can’t let you go and if you’ll have me, I’m here to stick around.” Zendaya nodded gently, her face nestling into the crook of his neck. “Be my girlfriend?”

“Yeah, loser.” Zendaya grinned against his neck as he poked her side at the playful remark. He hit her ticklish spot and she let out a giggle, one that Tom knew he wanted to hear over and over again. “I’ll be your girlfriend.” Tom pulled her away briefly to kiss her but as he was inches away from her lips, he spotted Darnell and Haz out of the corner of his eye. They were whispering between themselves sketchily and Tom paused. Zendaya’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion, her lips outstretched and pouted, awaiting his kiss. “What?”

“What are you guys doing?” Tom pulled away from Zendaya completely and noticed the frown on her face as he did. He tapped his finger against her nose speedily as their sheepish friends came forward from behind the door frame. “Were you guys spying on us?”

“I’m officially out a hundred dollars, thanks Z.” Darnell rolled his eyes as he handed Harrison a hefty American bill.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Zendaya’s jaw dropped open, her eyes squinting together fearfully. “You bet on me!” Before Darnell knew what hit him, Zendaya was up out of Tom’s hold, chasing him through the apartment with her trusty weapon – a pillow. Her long legs were gaining speed on him and Darnell let out a high pitched scream, one that had everyone in the house bending over with laughter.

“Congrats, mate.” Haz pat Tom’s back as he settled onto the sofa behind him. “Finally!”

“Yeah, finally.”

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

[FIC] Two Weeks (T)

Member: Yoon Jeonghan Prompt: ZombieApocalypse!Jeonghan Word Count: 8,888 (I’M NOT KIDDING) Genre: Angst, thriller  Warnings: Explicit violence, cursing, mentions of suicide

A/N: Aaaaaand I’m never writing a Jeonghan fic again. I swear it started off as a drabble request and it legitimately multiplied by epic proportions. This took a real toll on my brain but I’m satisfied with how it turned out. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Special thanks to Scooped for helping me out!

And also thank you to @amber-kookie for the request, and I’M SO SORRY IT ENDED UP TAKING THIS LONG :( I got way too carried away, please forgive me ;;;;;;;

“He’s a rogue. Our drones depicted seeing him hiding out in the abandoned supermarket at where Gangnam once stood, now alone without his female partner. From what we can tell, he’s been severely wounded probably by a run-in of walkers, and his companion didn’t make it back alive.”

“Are you sure he isn’t infected from that fight, sir?”

“Negative, we’ve been observing him for about three days, and there hasn’t been any signs of transformation. But we don’t know how deep the wound on his leg is. Chances are, he may die from his injuries, and we don’t want to waste such a valuable asset. He’s a brilliant fighter that would prove to be of use in the force. Your job is to find him, patch him up and bring him back to base camp. You have two weeks.”

Day Two:

After crossing through the deserted streets of what was once the lively bustling city of Gangnam, you finally located the supermarket that your commanding officer informed you of. The windows, of course, had been completely covered with newspaper, for walkers only ever go berserk at merely the sight of living flesh, their other senses numbed to near nothingness. Houses with covered windows are usually tell-tale signs of people inhabiting it.

There usually aren’t any walkers out at night, so you managed to sneak into the supermarket easily. Darkness enveloped the entire area, and hence the strong rotting stench is more prevalent, and it nearly made you retch. With a flick of your flashlight, you realised that the whole place was in a wreck, with shelves lying haphazardly around with decaying food strewn all over the floor. How is anyone living here in such deplorable conditions? Nonetheless, you upped your professionalism and searched for the dying man you dubbed the Rogue.

You found the bloodied figure slumped behind the cashier counter; you nearly mistook him for a walker until you noticed the very faint rise and fall of his chest. And as per your Chief’s description, he had a ghastly wound on his left thigh. This is your man, this is the Rogue. Setting down your supplies, you got to work immediately.

Day Three:

The Rogue nearly killed you that day, waking you up with a splash of water on your face. At least water wasn’t a sparse resource in an abandoned supermarket. You woke up, initially blinded by the bright white light of your flashlight being used against you, only to be met with a sharpened steel pipe aimed at your throat.

“Who are you?” the man growls, his voice scratchy from the lack of use. Admittedly, it was a poor decision on your part to fall asleep next to a stranger in the middle of an apocalypse, given how hysterical most strangers would react, but you had been moving non-stop for two days, and you were exhausted.

“Relax,” you grunted, unfazed. Reaching into the pocket of your uniform, you pulled out the badge you’ve attained after the many years of training in the force. “I’m with the government,” you explained to him with a hand stretched to block the light, but the steel pipe stubbornly remains unmoving, inches away from your jugular.

“Our drones spotted you getting hurt from a run-in with some walkers,” you continued to explain yourself. "and they dispatched me to come help you. You can thank me for that bandage on your leg, by the way.”

The Rogue let out an annoyed huff before abruptly dropping the flashlight and the weapon as though he no longer hand the strength to hold them, allowing both objects to clatter onto the floor. The flashlight rolls around until it’s shining against the lower half of his body. He was still far too weak to be standing up, and had confronted you with his legs uselessly sprawled behind him. A man that was half-dead and barely able to move still attempted to threaten you, an able-bodied soldier. That at least gave you a sense of what the man you were dealing with was like: absolutely stubborn.

“Sending mere children out here all alone… Has the government run out of options that they’re sending out a runt like you out to a hell hole?”

You took offence to that immediately. Sure, you are young, easily five or more years younger than the man before you, but you’ve seen and fought things most kids your age aren’t capable of even facing, making you a deadly force to be reckoned with. Though there were fiery insults prepped at the tip of your tongue, you swallowed them back. You needed him to cooperate with you in order to succeed in your mission.

“I don’t trust you,” he had said scathingly when you tried to take another look at his wound after you kicked away the steel pipe for good measure.

“Well too bad,” you responded unsympathetically. “Because if there’s anyone out here willing to keep you alive, it’s going to be me, now shove it and let me help you.”

Day Six:

The Rogue finally began to walk again, albeit with a heavy limp. He had accepted your treatment, and though you were satisfied with his relent, ‘resign’ would probably be a better term for you to use to describe him.

You both have been sustaining yourselves with the non-perishables found in the supermarket while he recuperated (or rather, you had been forcing him to eat those granola bars to regain his strength), but when supplies started running low, he had decided that it was time for him to search for his new safe haven.

He made it clear that he didn’t appreciate your company, despite you bringing him back from the brink of death. It seemed almost as though he was eager to get away from you as soon as possible.

“You’re not going to last three seconds out there in that condition,” you warned him. You both had a little campfire set up on a pile of cardboard boxes. Not the wisest thing to do in such an enclosed area, but your lungs had already gotten used to the thick and heavy air here, so what’s a few smoke particles going to do to you? Through the faint light, you inspected him closely. With his injured leg stretched out next to him, he has one end of his steel pipe propped on his other thigh while he sharpened the weapon with a metal prop.

He was a fine specimen, indeed. You knew at once why your Chief had taken such an interest in him. His body, despite his skinny frame, was lean and taut with muscles, probably from his years of experience fighting against walkers. His hair, grown past the normal length typical of a male’s, fell over his eyes and gave him a very mysterious aura.

“So?” was his only response, barely audible above the piercing sounds of metal rubbing against metal.

“I didn’t save you just so you can throw your life away by the next minute,” came your own sassy retort.

He looked up at you, his eyes dark and cold despite them being curtained by the matted strands of his fringe. “And why should you care what I do with my life?”

“Not me, I’m just the messenger,” you shot him down immediately, “The government has offered you a place in their elite force--”

He threw the metal prop aside and examined his newly-fashioned weapon in the faint glow of the campfire. “I’ve heard that a million times before from you and my answer is still the same. It’s a no.”

You frowned at his negative response. Stragglers like himself would already be jumping at the chance of a safe haven away from the monstrosities that were the walkers. “I don’t see why you refuse such a brilliant offer,” you pressed. “There’s everything there. We have plenty of food and water for everybody, and there are plenty of other guys like you in there. We can really use your skills and expertise on the field.”

“I don’t need all of that,” he scoffed, shoving the weapon into his ragged backpack (which looks like a few strips of leather barely held together by thread at this point), “I work alone.”

Alone? That certainly didn’t tally with the information your Chief had given you. As far as you knew, he had a female companion with him up till four days ago before you found his dying body in the mart. Whatever happened to her was pretty self-explanatory: either she was devoured alive by walkers, or turned into one of them.

You were nonplussed, but you knew that bringing her up to him would not accomplish anything except maybe turn him against you, so you shoved your questions back down your throat for now.

“Well, at least let me come along with you for now, just in case your infection comes back,” you proposed, making sure that you sounded authoritative. After all, you couldn’t let this man out of your sight, or your mission would have been a failure. Being an elite member of the force, you simply cannot tolerate a single blemish on your record. You have to bring him back to base camp no matter what.

“Just for four days, let me stay with you until then. If I can’t manage to convince you to come back with me by then, I will get the government off your back for the rest of your life, you have my promise for that.”

Four days, that would leave you with three days to travel back to base camp. It wouldn’t be easy, but you’re sure that it’d be okay. You harden your eyes with determination, and he dropped the eye contact within a split second, grunting in pain as he stands up. Staggering onto his two feet, he growled under his breath.

“Fine, but you better stay the hell out of my way, kid.”

Day Seven:

“Let me get this straight, kid,” said the Rogue as the both of you stealthily crept through the shadows cast by the dilapidated buildings. “You’re what, twelve and you’re already in the main force? And they make kids like you bait zombies?”

“First of all, I’m sixteen,” you correct him dryly. “And I’ve probably killed more walkers than you can count.”

He snorts derisively at that. “I’m willing to bet on that. Oh, and one more reason why I won’t join your little band camp: I don’t advocate child abuse.”

You almost roll your eyes. “Says the one that’s pretty damn good at being verbally abusive.”

“Thanks, I try to be.” His volume drops to barely above a whisper, sinking to a crouch as you both went around a corner of a shophouse.

You balked. “You little piece of--”

“Shh!” The Rogue seized you by the back of your shirt, tugging his grip downwards such that you dropped to your knees in an instant. Your instincts kick in and you shut up at once, all senses alert for any signs of danger.

The both of you cower behind a lopsided car, barely breathing as you listen to the eerie step… drag… step… drag… footsteps of the walker. It hasn’t seen the both of you yet, but it manages to effectively halt your progress to safety.

You both ready your weapons, anticipating its approach. But another walker has taken the liberty to throw the both of you into complete disarray.

“Behind you!” you yelp just in time for the male to roll out of the way as the other walker lunges at you. Backing away from the road, you come face to face with at least a dozen walkers that emerged after hearing your voice. Loading in your shotgun and muffler, you take three out easily.

“Go!” you bark at the Rogue, who’s backed up against you armed with his steel pipe. “I can handle them!” He freezes at that sentence for a split second before separating himself from you.

You expect him to obey your words, but the look on his eyes are dark and malicious. “No fucking way,” he spits. And to your dismay, he throws himself at the nearest walker, his steel pipe raised high and aimed towards its skull.

“You idiot!” you exclaim. Gritting your teeth, you shoot down another couple before dashing to his side. He is indeed a formidable fighter, you manage to observe over the amount of adrenaline in your system, it is obvious with every lithe stance, every manoeuvre, every well-aimed strike. But with that injury, he won’t last.

True to your prediction, the bandage around his leg starts to turn dark red, and it takes only seconds for him to collapse. And you are standing over him immediately, the muzzle of your gun firing silent but deadly shots at your monstrous opponents.

One walker manages to bypass your line of fire and pounces at you with teeth bared, but you are quick to pull out your 11-inch dagger with your free hand, and stabbing it in the throat. Soon after, you’re standing surrounded by still, rotting bodies, panting heavily from the ordeal.

“What’s the deal with you?!” You whip your head around towards the Rogue, anger simmering from deep within your chest. “I told you to run, didn’t I?! Why didn’t you--”

You can’t continue your rant once you see the expression on his face. The Rogue looks absolutely horrified, as though he had just been dragged through hell and back. You blink, belatedly remembering that he’s been through a traumatizing episode involving walkers just 2 weeks ago, in which he had lost a companion.

Snapping your mouth shut, you can only sigh. There’s no point stirring up a fuss here out in the open. Your priority is to find shelter and protection. With a gentle tap to the Rogue’s shoulder, you said, “Come on, let’s move on.”

Day Eight:  

Yoon Jeonghan.

That’s his name. You found out when it was your shift to keep watch that night. After the close call with the group of rotting walkers, you both had found a temporary sanctuary in what used to be an underground club, the male barely able to stand at that point for he had torn open his closed thigh wound again while outrunning those monsters.

You all but dragged him there, silently cursing to yourself. Who was this guy anyway? Why are you risking your own life in the middle of the apocalypse just to save him? All you got were either disgruntled mutters, sardonic remarks or complete and utter silence. Were you simply wasting your effort over this?

His cold demeanour distinctly reminded you of another member if the elite force, a quiet yet tough-as-nails young female soldier by the name of Su-ahn. She was brought in the force with a rather unfortunate past (being a young survivor of the Outbreak did quite a number on the soldier), and only ever opened up to her best friend, Chan.

That fact continued to entice your curiosity; has he always been like this, or did the death of his companion change him? For all the days leading up to meeting him in person, you’ve only known him as a skilful warrior and nothing else. Somehow, you wanted to know more, and getting to know his name would be a proper start to your mini-investigation.

As he slept next to you with a freshly bandaged leg, you took the opportunity to rummage through his backpack. That’s where you found it, his student identity card. He had been a mere high school student when the apocalypse happened. Taking into account his birth year, he would be twenty-two years now; slightly older than the other boys in the expedition force, and a lot older than you were. It won’t be easy finding a place for him to fit in back in camp, but you’re sure you’d manage it fine.

You paused at that last thought and began to snicker at your own musings. Why were you so sure that he would come back to base camp with you anyway? He sure as hell isn’t willing to come with you right now, and in fact it seemed to you that he spends every waking moment willing that you’d disappear from his sight instead.

I still have to try, though. There’s no way I’m going to leave him out here to die after all that I had went through to keep Yoon Jeonghan alive.

Yoon Jeonghan. The name sounded so simple in your head yet it seemed so shrouded in mystery. As your thumb glazed over his young and brightly smiling ID photo, you turned to look back at his sleeping figure.

To your surprise, you felt a rush of warmth. You’ve grown up in camp surrounded by many others your age, the concrete walls that keep you all safe from walkers allowed you to forge many solid relationships without the constant worry of losing your friends. Hence you may get emotionally attached to people more easily than you would like to admit. Even grumpy men like Jeonghan.

There’s a lot about him that you have yet to find out about, and should you want to learn more, maybe trying to appeal to his good side would be the most practical way to go about doing so.

So that night you observed him again while half-heartedly poking the dying fire back to life with a stick. It was interesting watching him sleep as it was in fact the only time he showed you anything aside from his usual demeanour. You’d take into account the little twitches in his muscles, the wrinkles between his eyebrows when he frowns, and the quiet grunts he makes occasionally, as though he’s outrunning walkers even in his sleep.

But that day, you heard him speak in his sleep. You thought you were hearing things at first, because the soft whimpers coming from his throat did not sound characteristic at all. Unconsciously, you leant closer to his body, ears pricked in curiousity.

“Run, run… I can’t leave you...” he had gasped, turning his head anxiously to the side. The orange glow of the fire made the sheen of perspiration coating his skin more evident. You tilted your head, squinting your eyes in concern. He was definitely distressed by his apparent nightmare.

“Shit, not her. Please…” His body gave a violent shudder, fending off an imaginary adversary. “Fuck, not her, not her…”

Not her..? You pressed your lips to a thin line as you put the pieces together in your head. Was the ‘her’ referring to his previous female companion? With a pang of sympathy, you deduced that he was reliving the moment where he lost his companion. How much of a toll did the apocalypse take on him that he had to live in horror even in his sleep?

“No, no, no!” He writhed in agony, stirring pity from your heart. Maybe you should wake him up and put him out of his misery. Before you could contemplate any further, your hand found itself perched on his shoulder.

“Jeonghan,” you whispered aloud his name for the first time, hoping that you’d be able to provide a form of comfort to his distress. “It’s okay, you’re safe now.”

To your amazement, he visibly relaxed, the creases on his forehead smoothing over. You sighed in relief, you began to rub soothing circles against his skin, getting rid of the nightmares once and for all. But a hand falls over yours, halting your movements and making you freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. Did you accidentally wake him up?

But Jeonghan’s eyes remained shut, and you’re torn between pulling away and remaining by his side. All thoughts fly out of your head, however, when he dragged your hand from his shoulder, up his neck and finally resting it just under his chin. Without knowing, your own breath accelerates when he leant against your touch.

“Don’t leave me,” he murmured softly.

You understood now, and you softened. He clearly wasn’t as emotionless or uncaring as he seemed. You waited until his breathing had deepened again before bringing yourself to pull away.

Day Nine:

You managed to catch an inquisitive thrush that had poked its head near the entrance of the club; what a rare sight. Thrushes normally stayed around the undergrowth near foliage. Perhaps the apocalypse made even the wild fauna desperate for survival. But you weren’t going to complain about a free meal that basically walked into your hands.

Jeonghan roused immediately at the smell of cooked meat, looking almost ravenous after surviving on biscuits, fruits and nuts for nearly eight years. Something pricked in your heart and you realised that you were feeling sorry for him. You lived and grown up at base camp since you were a mere child, with everything essential provided to you by the government, while he had fought for survival and lived on scraps.

You took into account how hungry he looked, and also how his stubborn pride was probably holding him back from asking food from you. You shook your head in wonder. Boys, right?

“Well, it’s no fried chicken, but it’s all we got,” you told him while plucking out a single leg and handing it to him; your own peace offering of sorts. He took it warily before sinking his teeth into the meat. As though he finally realised how starved and malnourished he is, his first bite quickly accelerated to the second, third, until he was left picking the tiny morsels of meat off the cartilage.

You turned back to your own piece of meat, your own appetite suddenly subsiding. Sure, you were famished, and everyone would kill for a mouthful of warm food in the middle of an apocalypse. Yet then, it was just you and him, and he clearly needed the food more than you.

So you nudged the rest of the thrush towards him. “You have it,” you told him, turning away before you felt the need to change your mind. He looked up at you from examining his leg wound. “Feeling sorry for me now, aren’t you?” he muttered, a bit too icily for your comfort.

You raised your hands in defense. “Look, I only--”

“Save it,” he cut you off. “Despite what you think, I’m a lot stronger than I look.” With that, he pushed the meat back to you.

You actually laughed at that. Not that you were mocking him or anything, but you were genuinely humoured. “Says the one who collapsed unconscious in the middle of the freaking road yesterday morning while fighting a dozen walkers.”

“I wasn’t unconscious, I simply fell, you brat.” Was it just you, or was that a blush of red highlighting his cheeks? You almost grinned in satisfaction, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to retaliate.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what,” you began, yanking out a wing for yourself. “I’ll get the nice juicy wing, while you get the icky dry breast and thigh meat. Sounds fair?” You push the rest of the bird towards the male with a feigned look of disgust, before eagerly digging into the wing in your hand.

He shot you a dry look. “Oh, how cruel… Making me consume overcooked poultry,” he rambled on with a sardonic, almost comical drone in his voice. “I will get my revenge on you, just you wait.”

And you giggled in return. “It’s not like you can do anything to me, not with that bum leg of yours.” Satisfied with your retort, you resumed eating.

You made a noisy sound of satisfaction when the fragrance filled your mouth, it’s still savoury even with the lack of proper marination. A drop of grease smeared onto your cheek but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, only focused on polishing the wing down to its bone.

You heard him click his tongue in disapproval at your messiness, but you ignored it and happily continued munching away. But what happened next sent a numbing wave of electricity down your spine, freezing every single muscle in your body.

You stared wide-eyed at the way his thumb was resting against the corner of your lips, seemingly intended to wipe the grease off. As his calloused hands brushed against your skin, you felt yourself burning where he touched you.

You didn’t even notice how you had completely stopped breathing.

Dragging your dumbfounded gaze from his hands up to his face, you see your astonishment reflected in Jeonghan’s own pair of eyes. He looked as though he was shocked that he touched you.

Tension as thick as dense fog shrouded over the both of you, and the finger on your lips twitched once as Jeonghan blinked. You could only lightly turn your head away with a nervous chuckle, hoping with all your heart that he couldn’t see the way colour had flooded your cheeks.

Jeonghan, however, stiffly withdrew his hand back to his side, his already expressionless face growing stone cold in the fluorescent orange lights of the flames.

“Shit,” he hissed, rubbing his fingers against the worn fabric of his shirt almost angrily. Fuddled, you wondered what had gotten into him.

“Y-You okay?” you gasped when he scrambled away from you as though you were made of burning hot fire. He looked up at you, his glare shooting lasers that had you recoiling. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he snarled before backing up against the wall.

You flinched at his accusatory tone. “W-What did I do?” you asked in bewilderment, unable to suppress the hurt in your voice. You wondered what had gotten into him, but you were hesitant to approach him all the same. He took in a deep breath with his eyes closed.

“Just stay the fuck away, please.”

And at his imploring words you did, scurrying backwards away from the enraged man, your mind still whirling in confusion.

On the two opposite ends of the abandoned club, you both curl up with arms wrapped around your bodies, the dying fire in the middle of the room forgotten.

In the proceeding silence, you had time to stew in your thoughts. What did you do that triggered such a huge reaction from him? No matter how you racked your brains, you couldn’t find an explanation.

Sourness prickled at your heart, and you felt as though bile was rising out your throat. The way he looked at you when he touched you for the first time, his gaze had a hint of softness and even affection, but that had so quickly morphed into utter hatred, as though he was staring at the spawn of evil itself.

You were jerked out of your thoughts when you heard his voice once more, raspy and practically lifeless.

“Back then… You should have just left me there to die.”

Day Ten:

You scramble awake, panicking when you realised that you had accidentally fell asleep without anyone keeping watch. You curse at your own carelessness when you realise that sunlight is already shining brightly into the small gap in the entrance.

On normal days when Jeonghan took the second watch shift, he would have woken you up by sunrise and you would both go about your average day acquiring supplies and avoiding walkers. Which is why you are less than pleased to turn around to see that where Jeonghan had slept is left empty. A quick look around the area also reaped you a negative result. Jeonghan is gone, and you have zero means to find him again.

“Of course,” you hiss through your gritted teeth, suppressing the panic that threatens to suffocate you. You had an epiphany in your sleep: Jeonghan was most probably mistaking you for his previous female companion, which explains why he was so distressed and infuriated with himself last night. Who knows what he can be up to in his current emotional state?

Your first instinct is to check on your shotgun located in your backpack. Thankfully, it is still there, albeit out of place as though someone had roughly rifled through your belongings. You thanked your lucky stars that you had kept your ammo stored away in the pocket of your jacket, rendering your gun useless to outsiders. But this discovery doesn’t make you feel any better. Instead, it makes every vein in your body clog with dread. So, is he really going to...

You can’t even afford to finish that last thought as you scramble up to your feet and clumsily shove your belongings into your backpack. “Don’t let me be too late,” you plead to yourself before sneaking out of the underground club.

Your eyes meet with the broad daylight again as you crawl out of the underground club’s entrance to what seemed like the broken door of a vehicle. You avoid looking upwards, with the sun’s rays hitting your forehead with radiant streaks of heat. It has been a while since you have been in a brightly lit area, and your eyes takes awhile to adjust to it. Squinting your eyes, you quickly scan the area to look out for walkers and also Jeonghan.

“Ugh, where could he have gone now?” you mumble, only properly standing up when when the coast is clear.

The place is unusually deserted, not even a single sign of walkers around. You search through the debris, no sign of Jeonghan. You sighed as you were exiting the pharmacy a distance away from the underground club. Almost all your hope is lost when you heard a hair-raising thud. You grabbed your dagger almost instinctively, wary of what might just jump out to kill you.

A second sound, this time a metallic clang that seems to echo through the entire street. This time right behind you. You turn around immediately, weapon raised, but all you see is a metal pipe rolling itself to a stop in the middle of the street.

Jeonghan’s metal pipe. You looked up in dread, and saw a familiar figure standing dangerously at the edge of the rooftop of a residential building.

“Shit,” you curse, dashing straight across to the building.

In record time, you burst through the door to the roof, your lungs aching from the physical feat. But you ignore the stabbing pain in your chest, completely fixated in saving the man before you again.

And there he was, standing heart-stoppingly close to the edge of the building.

“YOON JEONGHAN!” you screech out before you could process the scenario before you. His body straightens in shock at your voice, and he whirls around to meet you, his dull, cloudy eyes against your own frantic ones. From the state of his body, you can tell that he is already out of his mind, so dazed he could hardly think straight.

Against your own rational judgement, you rush forward to pull his body off the ledge, the breath driving out of your lungs as his chest collides heavily against yours. You end up dragging him to the middle of the area, your arms still wrapped around his abdomen as though your own life depended on it.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” you demand, not noticing how your eyes are already stinging with tears. “How can you just leave without telling me?”

But he simply removes your hands around his body and takes a small step back. You look up, appalled to see how little life there is left in those stone cold pupils, looking as though he can never find happiness again.

“Jeonghan,” your voice lowers to a broken whisper. “Why are you here?”

Silence follows your words, leaving them carried away in the wind. Jeonghan only drags his line of sight from you to the ledge which is now a safe distance of five feet behind him. When he opens his mouth to speak, a cold wave engulfs you, sending shivers down your spine.

“My best friend loved this place,” he begins, so detached you wonder if he even registers your presence next to him. “Even in the middle of a freaking apocalypse, she saw the beauty in something as simple and common as the sky.

She loved it so much that she even begged me to kill her here, with the rays of the sun and the blue sky being the last thing she saw in her consciousness before the virus consumed her. Begged me to push her off here before she turned into one of them. She saved my life and got bitten because of me, but I could only watch her fall…”

His voice trails off and he shudders as though shaking off a horrid image.

“I wanted to know what it looks like before she died. How beautiful it is to be in the last moments of death, to be in the verge of freedom away from this hell on earth…”

It is the first time Jeonghan had willingly disclosed information about his previous female partner to you, but even then, you can’t help but feel infuriated. “Are you kidding me?” you can’t help but scoff disbelievingly. “How could you do this to yourself? Think, Jeonghan! Was this what she would have wanted?!”

You didn’t mean to bring her up in such a circumstance, and you regret it instantly given the way his blank gaze hardens considerably. “What the fuck do you know about her?” he growls. You swallow, intimidated by the intensity of his voice. But you force yourself to stick your chin out stubbornly nonetheless.

“I know that she didn’t save your life just for you to throw it away by committing suicide!” you roar, ignoring how the first of your tears are already rolling off your cheeks. “She didn’t give her own life up to see you killing yourself!”

The look on his face crumples as he takes your words into consideration, but even that barely lasted for a whole second before it’s hidden behind a grim mask again. Without looking at you, he rasps out one word.

“Leave.”

Your heart falls in dismay. You actually thought that you had gotten through him.

“What?” you mumble stupidly, hoping with all your heart that you’d misheard him.

“I said, leave.” It sounds equally, if not more venomous than before. His eyes are squeezed shut, not even bothering to spare you one last look. “You asked for four days, and I had given them to you. Our deal is off, so run back to the little camp where you came from, and leave me the hell alone.”

You expect his negative response already, but you certainly don’t expect it to hurt this much. It feels as though your heart has been dipped in acid, spreading a pungent, sour sensation all over your chest until you can barely breathe.

“Jeonghan,” you try again, pleading, begging for him to change his mind.

“It only hurts more,” he interrupts you before you can say another word, “if you continue staying here, for the both of us. So for our sakes, please leave.”

You see the rationale behind this, and you hate to admit that there is truth to what he had said. You had just rudely intruded into his life when he was grieving for his deceased companion. How is he expected to recover if you are a constant, blatant reminder of what he had lost?

Your mission is a failure.

Deciding to accept this outcome, you back away painfully.

“She…” You force back the tremble in your voice. “She gave up her own life to give you another chance. Another chance to fight against this madness, to see through the end of this hell. Please don’t ever let her death be in vain.”

Hoping that you’ve gotten your message across, you turn around, harshly biting your lip in an attempt to fight back sickening urge to cry. Before you can hear his response, you bolt down the stairs and out of the building.

The weather acknowledges the drastic change in your mood and within seconds you are soaked from head to toe in the rain, droplets blending in with the tears on your face. You can only haggardly crawl back into the shelter that is the underground club, deciding to wait the rain out before starting the journey back home.

You curl up by the fire, alone for the first time in days, trying with all your might to not recount what had transpired between the both of you. You can’t help but be worried now that there isn’t anyone with him; he’s out there on his own now, with his leg just barely short of fully recovering. What if he gets caught by walkers? What if his wound reopened? What if he--

He’ll be fine, you snap to yourself. You’re sure that your message has gotten through him. If he ever cherished his companion, he would take your words to heart and take care of himself properly.

All too soon, the rain fades to a light drizzle. After packing your refilled water canister you had left in the rain, you finally leave the safety of the underground club, walking away without casting another glance over your shoulder.

Day Twelve:

You slice the foliage with your dagger, making your way through the forest that would bring you back home. All morning you desperately tried to preoccupy yourself from all thoughts of Jeonghan and solely focus on the thought of making it back to base camp safe and sound.

But some way or another, he intrudes your mind and you find yourself distracted every few minutes. This is so unlike you. As a member of the elite force, you never let yourself be too emotionally invested in your missions. What did Jeonghan do to you? You barely knew him for a week, and if he wasn’t unconscious, he was grumpy and snapped at you for everything you did. Yet you could hardly stop yourself from caring for him.

Maybe it was because you’ve grown up under the protection of the government. Being one of the youngest and most valued members of the force, everyone cherished you and catered to your every need. You’ve never had the chance to take care of another person before. You found Jeonghan intriguing at first but now every thought of him sends a wave of pain that numbs your head and heart.

You stop by a river to quickly douse yourself in the cool water to beat the scorching hot sun. You haven’t had a proper bath since you’ve left in search for Jeonghan. Though it’s no hot water shower you’re used to, it still feels refreshing when you wipe of the grime off your skin. You let out a contented sigh when you rub the cold water against your skin, so engrossed in your pleasure you almost don’t notice the rustling in the reeds until--

You leap out of way just in time when the walker lunges at you, sending it crashing into the stream and turning the water brackish and murky. You scramble across the bank in alarm, adrenaline surging through your veins when you whip out your gun. The walker clambers upright, its ugly jaws parted in a shriek as it cries for blood.

“Fuck,” you growl, your years of experience and training kicking in like a second nature. You evade its next attack, the sharp snaps of its rotting teeth gnashing violently against each other sounding dangerously close to your ears. Rolling out of its reach, you load your shotgun with a magazine.

You don’t have time to fix in the muffler before it’s tearing for your throat again. Hoping for the best, you fire two shots straight into it’s brain. The gunshot explodes through the woods, birds letting out squawks of alarm as they scatter from the surrounding trees. The walker goes down with a strangled screech, but you don’t have the time to recover, because you know that the sounds of your struggle would have attracted a horde of walkers to where you stand in seconds flat.

Not wasting your time, you snatch up your backpack and sprint through the woods. You force your malnourished legs to run even faster when you hear multiple sets of footsteps thundering through the undergrowth. You choke back the scream when a couple of mangled walkers burst through the bushes in front of you in terrifying speed, causing you to swerve to the side. Your sudden maneuvering causes you to slip across the fallen leaves.

You crash on the grass in an ungraceful heap, backing away in horror when the monsters advance. Whipping out your eleven-inch dagger, you lodge the blade deep into the nearest walker’s skull, using its body as a leverage to fire a powerful kick at another walker.

After killing one, another takes its place. Whenever two goes down, three more emerge crying for your blood. You yank your weapon out of the neck of one walker, dislodging its head before swinging it at another, slashing madly with gradually weakening power. Already, your muscles are burning painfully and screaming for you to stop, and you’re fighting an uphill battle against five other walkers. With mounting panic, you begin to wonder if you’re ever going to make it out of this catastrophe alive.

Seizing a fallen tree branch, you shove it into one walker’s open mouth, shoving it into the rest of the other rotting bodies before scrambling back up onto your feet, ready to outrun them again. But to your dismay, your body gets yanked back onto the ground, your left ankle in a death grip of the fallen walker. Desperately, you try to free yourself by stomping your free foot against its bony fingers, but it barely slows the way its misshapen, gnarly mouth is inching towards your skin. You squeeze your eyes shut in preparation for the inevitable, praying to all the entities that it would be quick…

Your eyes flies open when its grip loosens abruptly, the screech of pain it lets out putting you off and sending you reeling from dizzy relief. When you’ve pulled your body a safe distance aside gathered your senses, you see a steel pipe thrusted deep into its chest, sending murky grey blood spraying everywhere.

“Don’t just fucking sit there, kid. Run!”

You look up in both wonder and shock to see Jeonghan standing over you protectively, throwing the walker aside with unbeknownst strength. Another lunges at him with teeth bared, but he merely swats it aside, pinning it onto the ground with his foot before subduing it with a blow straight through its face. In your daze, you watch him take out the walkers with the strength of ten men, only managing to snap out of it when Jeonghan bodily slams his body against the walker crawling towards you, sending putrid, acid-smelling drool of the walkers splatter on your clothes.

So much for the bath…

“Go!” Jeonghan roars at you, and that’s all it takes for you to clamber back up on your feet again. Together, you sprint away from the monsters, and even in such an unfortunate situation, you are grateful that those walkers were old and rotten, with neither the speed nor dexterity to catch up with either of you.

You both arrive at the bottom of a rocky outcrop, and you begin your ascent when you hear a grunt from behind you. Jeonghan falters and his body crumples into a heap from the corner of your vision.

“Jeonghan!” you cry out when he tumbles over, both arms wrapped around his left thigh. He releases a few fingers from his clutch, revealing that it is stained bright red against his pale skin.

“Just go!” he snaps when you try to approach him. “I’ll be fine!”

“The last time I left you alone you tried to kill yourself, you bastard! Now shut up and let me help.”

He looks like he’s about to argue again, but he quickly shuts his mouth once your arm snakes around his body. Hoisting his body onto yours, you precariously make your way up the rocks, Jeonghan lending you assistance by bracing his weight on his other three limbs. Slowly but surely, you make progress all whilst clinging onto each other for dear life. At one point, his foothold slips, and his hands are quick to encircle around your waist to pull you onto his body so that he doesn’t crush you under his weight.

The amount of body contact is enough to make you flush from head to toe, but your only focus is to get the both of you to safety, and not with another moment to waste.

A split second after you heave Jeonghan’s body over the edge, the walkers you’ve defeated emerges from the foot of the outcrop, letting out clicks and guttural growls of frustration. You finally let yourself breathe, knowing that they aren’t able to catch you from such a vertical distance away.

Tearing your eyes away from the bottom, you quickly rush to Jeonghan’s side, already pulling out what’s left of your first aid supplies and wordlessly tending to him. He doesn’t fight back nor protest, only watching you with hooded eyes.

“I thought you never wanted to see me again,” you find yourself mumbling your thoughts aloud. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, believe me, I did,” he breaks off in a hiss when the alcohol swabs across his skin. “Tried so damn hard to stay away. But you…”

You wince at his accusatory tone, but you look directly into his pupils nonetheless. But you don’t expect to see the amount of softness in them, the expression so foreign you barely recognise the man before you. “Why can’t I get you out of my fucking head?”

You stare at him with parted lips, at loss of what to say.

“I tried getting rid of you,” he continues, “I was so afraid to fall into the same trap again. I didn’t want to grow attached to anyone ever again after I lost her but I…”

Jeonghan inches closer towards you, breath getting heavier as the space between the both of you reduces. He is lost for words, and you are lost in his eyes. As if time stopped, as if the both of you are the only two people left in the world, a tear rolled down Jeonghan’s cheeks as he bent down to meet your lips. You close your eyes, feeling his trembling lips on yours.

The kiss is fast, desperate and borderline painful, with his tongue and teeth feeling as though they are sucking the life force out of you. Yet you’ve never felt so electrified in your sixteen years of living. Jeonghan cups your face securely in his hands and holds you close to him, your bodies moulding together, and soaks in your presence like he’s never been around another human being before.

You didn’t know how long the both of you had sat there, but you knew that, at some point the both of you had to stop.

Jeonghan pulls away as another tear fell from his glistening eyes, he brokenly looks far into the distance, as if pondering about what he has just done.

You feel his pain, you felt the agony that he has been through, and it hurts you, to see him suffer so much.

“Come home with me,” you plead with him, taking his hand in yours. “We need you there. I need you there.”

A few heartbeats of silence as he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down slowly as he did so. “This…” the male croaks between his light panting. “This is what she would have wanted, right?” Your breath gets caught in your throat at his question, but you find yourself nodding, giving him all the assurance you can muster.

A flash of hesitance passes over Jeonghan’s eyes, and for a moment you fear that he’d turn you down again. But the grip he has over your hand turns assuring as he squeezes it. “Okay,” he affirms, the one word making your heart erupt in pure bliss.

“Okay,” you whisper back to him in a giggle.

Your unexpected run-in with the walkers and subsequently Jeonghan may have put you a few miles off track, but a day’s delay in your journey doesn’t matter to you anymore, not with Jeonghan finally by your side.

Even if the once proud city collapses into shambles, even if the rest of humanity is being decimated every day… You look up to see Jeonghan smiling for the first time -- a tiny grin, just barely etching across his face -- and you know there might just be light at the end of the tunnel for the both of you yet.