#usually i don't CARE about the oscars but i have seen a lot of the movies getting nominated this year

[kazz-brekker]

exasperated that i don't have any way to watch the oscars this year so i'm gonna go watch shogun instead

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scuderia Ferrari HP (@scuderiaferrari)

then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mahir (@f1trollguy)

but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽. 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖶𝖺𝗒𝗌. (@f1foryou1)

-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[astermath]

the premiere.

pairing: actor!steve harrington x actress!reader

summary: you're a recent addition to hollywood's up and coming promising actors. you'd recently scored the lead role in an emotional period drama, and you're more than surprised to see that top shelf douchebag and america's starboy, steve harrington, has shown up to your premiere. you’re soon confronted with his flirtatious attitude, and you feel the incessant need to put him in his place. it’s a first for both of you.

♡ landing page. ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: some cursing, mentions of sex, steve is a cocky asshole and will continue to be one, regular font below!

notes: man I do love me some actor!steve because let's be honest, joe keery easily transfers his star power over to all his characters. it's not exactly hard to believe that steve would be a respected actor. let me know what you think and / or if you’d like to be added to the tag list! ♡

They always say life moves fast in Hollywood. Back in your audition days, you wouldn’t believe it. You could practically feel the hours eating away at you as you waited for calls to be returned and scripts to be sent.

Even when you started filming your first big movie, working with such a well respected director and incredible cast, you felt like you were dragging along most of the time. Sure, it was an amazing experience, but the set hours are long, and the time spent overthinking is even longer.

Thinking about if this would be it, if this is what would put you on the map as a talented actress.

You only realised how fast time really moves in Hollywood when you’re discussing the premiere with your manager. Your first big reveal. You’re in the spotlight, everyone will be there to see you. And not just reviewers and fellow cast members, no, people you’ve looked up to before, people you’ve only ever seen on the big screen.

“Are you listening?” Your manager’s voice pulls you right out of your hazy cloud of thoughts. She’s sat across from you, glasses pushed down onto the bridge of her nose, cappuccino in one hand, the other on her laptop.

“Yeah, I’m— I’m here. I’m, uh…” You lean back, clasping your hands together. “You’ve got my attention, sorry Miranda.”

She sighs, readjusting her glasses and bringing her attention back to her screen.

Miranda has been your saviour since day one. She’s got plenty of experience, once having been an actress herself, and now works on managing mostly young women like yourself. She’s a bit tough, stern, but she’s amazing at what she does. Besides, she usually knows what’s best for you before you even know it. She’s got that motherly intuition about her, despite being unmarried without kids.

Your eyes drift over the interior of her apartment. It’s modern, sleek, like her. There’s not much personality shining through it, unless you look hard enough. Then you’d notice she likes orchids, since she has multiple of them potted and well taken care of. Or the numerous photos of the same town in Italy.

She keeps herself busy with scrolling through the list of attendees to the premiere. A bunch of yes’es, a few maybe’s, and the occasional “sorry, however, congratulations on the movie”.

She stills her movements when she gets to the bottom of the list, scrolling up again to see if she’s looking at the right column and then scrolling back down to see if she saw the name right.

“Hm,” she purses her lips, “that’s… Peculiar.”

“What is?” you perk up. Peculiar. That could mean a lot of things. Peculiar as in “your movie is scrapped, actually” or peculiar as in “you’re already nominated for an Oscar”?

“This name. I’ve never seen it on the attendee list before. At least not for my clients.”

“Miranda, you’re killing me with this suspense, please.” You lean forward, your elbows resting onto your knees.

"Steve Harrington." She pauses, and you don't know if she's doing it to be dramatic, or because she's waiting for some kind of elaborate gasp or shocked response.

Instead, you raise an eyebrow, head quirking slightly to the side. "Who?"

You can tell in your manager's eyes that she didn't expect that. Not in her facial expression, of course, she doesn't want wrinkles.

"Christ, sweetie, you're kidding right?" She lets out a dry chuckle, setting down her now empty coffee cup on the end table next to her. sofa. "We've really got to touch up on your media knowledge if you don't know who that is."

"No clue, sorry. What, is he some big deal or something?" You snatch a cookie off the coffee table and start nibbling on it mindlessly.

"Only one of the most popular up and coming actors in the industry." She starts click clacking away on her laptop, pulling up a picture of him and turning the screen around so you can see.

You raise your eyebrows. Damn, not bad. He looks to be around your age, a little older, and you can tell from just that one picture that he knows he's all that. The confidence is practically oozing out of that million dollar smile of his, expensive sunglasses tucked away in his somehow perfectly styled hair.

"So what, he's going to be there. Not like there aren't any other big celebs showing up, I'm sure I can handle myself."

"It's not that I don't think you can behave, starlight, although we'll have to go over some of the red carpet etiquette again later." She takes off her glasses and runs a hand through her short but chic hair.

"Then what is it?"

"He doesn't really... Show up to premieres, usually. Well, none that aren't for his own movies, at least."

Oh, so he is that kind of guy.

You wrap up with Miranda not long after, heading to one last fitting of your premiere gown before returning to your apartment. That's when you start to do your own research on this Harrington fella.

You sit onto your bed, leaned back against a few pillows propped up against your headboard. You open Google and start by what seems the simplest; typing in Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington age?

Steve Harrington height?

Steve Harrington movies?

The third one seems obvious, but you click it anyways. He doesn’t have a bad track record. A few nominations, one Golden Globe, he’s not slacking for sure.

Most of his stuff paints him as the type of guy you’d expect; undercover agent, the bad boy, the mob boss’ son… Makes you wonder even more why he’s showing up to the premiere of your movie. It has virtually nothing to do with the types of movies he stars in. You’re wondering why he even got an invitation to begin with, Miranda doesn’t seem like the type of woman to be sending those out to every C lister in America.

You type in his name again, curious to know more about his reputation.

Steve Harrington parents?

Steve Harrington dating history?

Though it is cliché, it does intrigue you. You’re not exactly surprised when a handful of names pop up, even one you recognise. Nancy Wheeler. You know that girl, she used to do interviews when you were still starting out. Apparently she went more into the crime journalist route, wrote a book… Pretty interesting stuff.

Almost as interesting as the breakup you’re reading so much about.

“Harrington broken in half? Did Nancy Wheeler finally have enough of his ego, or was she just looking for the next thing to report?”

“Geez, talk about a harsh headline…” You mutter to yourself. Besides her, there’s no mentions of other women he’s been confirmed to date. There’s been pictures, rumours, but you’re guessing he… Gets around.

Steve Harrington controversies?

You feel bad for clicking on it, but then again, you’re already in too deep now.

Something about nepotism, but that’s soon debunked when you realise his parents don’t do anything in the movie industry. Then there’s the Nancy thing, and something about him being difficult to work with. You could have guessed as much just by looking at the guy. You just know he flashes that smile like it’s a method of payment, and he probably gets away with it too.

You reach out and shut your laptop before you go too far down this rabbit hole. Your schedule is packed, and the premiere is only three days away. You've got better things to do than go all Sherlock on this random actor that's showing up.

Though it is unusual.

And he is handsome.

-

Yeah. It is true. Life does move fast in Hollywood.

Now you know for sure. Because not long ago, you were looking up Steve Harrington's name, like some deprived fangirl, and now you're on your way to the event he's supposed to be at.

The car seems packed, almost claustrophobically so. Miranda sits right of you, on the phone with someone who you can only assume to be too important to interrupt. On the left is your makeup artist, giving you some final touchups before your big entrance.

You don't know if this is the best or worst part about your rising fame. On one hand, it's all you've ever dreamed of. Of being recognised, making a name for yourself, getting to show the world what you can do. You're appreciated, celebrated, but on the other hand, you feel a bit like a product. The way you're sitting in this car, getting all dolled up, rehearsing what you'll say in the interviews... Miranda tells you you'll get used to it, but you're honestly not too sure.

Soon enough, you’re ushered out of the car by your manager. The same way you’ll never get used to the feeling of fame, is the same way you’ll never get used to having your name called out as you’re bombarded with camera flashes. This is only the entrance to the premiere, and you’re already overwhelmed. But you know that this is the worst part, so instead, you put on a smile and greet everyone.

Although you're having a little trouble walking in your gown, and not to mention those godforsaken heels, you soon make it to the actual red carpet for some photos. Your attention is called by several photographers, some asking who you're wearing, some just wanting you to look into the camera.

You look beautiful.

Your dress is a powdery blue, a close match to the dress you wear for most of the movie. It flows beautifully with your body, the silk catching the light in all the right ways. Your accessories and hair are adorned by white gold and pearls, classy, chic, but not boring. You feel like you're dressing up. Not a "let's go out somewhere fancy" dressing up, more like a "putting on your mom's heels" dressing up.

Part of all of this feels like you're playing pretend. Like you're not really supposed to be there. Like everyone's doing you a favour by being here, celebrating you and your movie. Though nothing could be further from the truth, the impostor syndrome somehow still gets to you, every time. You try not to let it show on your face, striking a casual pose, and smiling softly.

You look beautiful.

Steve thinks so too.

Only now he's reminded of why he came to this event. It's made the extra hoops he had to jump through all worth it. The extra questions by his management, the raised eyebrows when he arrived, the interviewers he, for once, has been trying to dodge.

He thought you looked pretty on the big screen, but no camera does you justice as much as the naked eye does.

He recognises something in you. Something nervous. Not necessarily innocent, just... New. It excites him a little, his mind already wandering to you allowing him to show you all the corners of the showbiz. Because he's a seasoned professional, of course. At least he likes to think so. He might only have a few years up on you, but he knows he's made for this. To act, to be famous. He knows you'd look amazing doing it next to him too.

"Mr Harrington!"

Some photographer calling his name catches him off guard, and so he brings his attention to the lens, flashing a cocky smile.

It catches your attention, too. The name more than the callout. You knew he'd be there, but for some reason you figured you'd have a bit more... Mental preparation. But what do you care, right? He probably wants you to gawk at him, be the little innocent newbie, borderline groupie, who can't believe it's really him.

You know better than to feed into his ego.

Which is why you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes when he smiles at you instead. You know he won't come up to you, he knows better than to embarrass you in front of all these people. You just don't know if he can resist himself later.

Then again, maybe you've got it all wrong. Maybe he just happens to really like 18th century period pieces about a girl finding a connection with her long lost mother. But somehow you'd find that hard to believe.

-

You go inside the theatre, and you finally get to enjoy the best part. This is when you try to disconnect from your job for a second, from the image you've built for yourself. When you're in front of the big screen, seated with all these people, you're 12 years old again.

You go watch a movie with your mom, it's your favourite time of the month. You share a large popcorn, and you can barely contain your excitement when the lights dim. Somehow, every emotion feels bigger like this. You've watched countless women pour their hearts out in movies, give their everything for their art, their passion. You've always been determined to be like them. To make other people resonate with a character so much it brings them to tears.

When you watch your own movies, you're not watching yourself. You're a little girl again, admiring the performance like you always used to. It makes this career more worth it than anything else, than all the glamour and money anyone could offer.

You bite your lip in anticipation when the theatre goes dark, toying with the bracelet on your wrist. You've seen it before, but not like this. Not like how it's meant to be watched.

Everything fits right. The music immerses you perfectly, the environments are meticulously chosen and everyone plays their part like they were born to do so.

And you're starstruck. By yourself, no less. You've always stayed humble, that's something you'd never give up. But you're also proud. So proud. This is something you've worked so hard for, everyone on the crew has, so you feel no remorse when you admit it's perfect.

The movie is emotional, and nearing the end, the melancholy of it all reaches its climax. Your character runs through a field of poppies, all blooming as she passes each one, chasing what she thinks is a vision of her mother when she was younger. The girl being chased giggles, as the main character keeps calling out her mother's name in tears. She's brought to her knees at the end of the field, the edge of a cliff, reaching desperately to hold onto the memory of her long lost mother.

You let out a tear. Hell, most people do, even Miranda can't hold it. It's one hell of a scene, the orchestral soundtrack alone could make someone cry. It makes your heart swell.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can tell someone else is really letting the waterworks go.

Wait-- That's not just someone.

That's Steve Harrington. Crying. Because of your acting.

You can tell he's trying to hide it a little, hiding his lower face behind a clenched wrist, the tears leaving little stripes of wetness on his skin. Running past his stubbly jaw, dropping onto the fabric of his tuxedo.

You can't imagine this is normal for him. Apparently it was already a rare apparition to see him at your premiere, and now he's publicly crying too. Well, you don't know if anyone else is observing it, but you know what you're seeing. That's pure, raw emotion right there.

You bring your attention back to the screen, hoping he hasn't noticed your staring.

The movie comes to a close, and the audience arises in a standing ovation. You get up, giggling a little coyly at all this sudden attention. The director comes up to you, taking your hand and bringing you along with the rest of the crew to the front so you can take a bow. Your face beams with happiness, and it's contagious.

It makes Steve return the smile, even though it's not even necessarily directed at him. You're just so pretty, all excitement and modesty, so untouched by fame's worst sides. It pulls him straight to you in a way he hasn't experienced before, there's just something so... Sincere about you. Something so gorgeous.

He makes eye contact with you as you come back up from your bow. The smile he gives you is nearly a copy and paste from the ones you saw online, where you can tell exactly what he's trying to say just from his expression. It's like his face just reads "atta girl".

It's really hot. And you hate how it makes you feel.

You exit faster than you probably should. You mutter to Miranda that you just need some fresh air, but really, you need to get away from this Harrington man before you fall head over heels for his stupid tactics. He hasn't said a word to you yet, and you already feel yourself slipping into the enthralling arms of his charm.

You change your mind, earlier was not the worst part. This is. Because now you have to pretend like you're not mentally having a crisis while still answering questions and mingling.

You deal well with most of the compliments and praise. You get a bit of butterflies every time a household name or someone you look up to acknowledges you, and you practically feel like ascending when they say they like your work.

You're in the middle of speaking to one of your co-actors and your manager, when she's suddenly giving you the eyes. With Miranda, this can mean two things;

There is a fire happening, or--

There is someone important behind you.

She's done this before when Robert De Niro was getting interviewed just a meter away from you. But you have a feeling you know who it is this time. Though you're not sure how excited you are by it.

You look over your shoulder, and surely, there he is.

All suave and charm, smooth tuxedo, freckled tan skin and perfect hair. He encapsulates the entirety of Hollywood so well, and you're not quite sure how to respond.

"I'm a little starstruck, I gotta say." he says, and you're not sure why you're even surprised that his voice is that nice.

"Really?" You give Miranda your "help me" eyes for a moment, but she's already off to get more champagne. With no lifeline to hang onto, you figure you might as well entertain him for a moment. "Guess I could say the same about you."

"Hey, I'm not the reason we're all here, am I?" He chuckles, and you're unsure if it's a rhetorical question or not. From what you can tell, maybe he does think everyone's here for him. You try your hardest to fend off those preconceptions of him, but although you are new to all of this, you’re not stupid. You know how men can be once they start getting attention.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on the movie.” He says, voice dripping with honey, placing his large warm hand over your arm. It would surprise you, if it didn’t feel so nice. “Truly a great performance, and I mean that. I’m not even usually one for period pieces.”

He doesn’t realise that makes him look even more suspicious for showing up here at all. Why would you go to a premiere for a movie of a genre you don’t like?

“Thank you, I appreciate that, Mr…” You pretend not to know his name, for multiple reasons. To make yourself seem a little more nonchalant, or maybe you just want to give his ego that little chop it so obviously needs.

“Harrington. Though I assumed you knew, my bad.”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. Of course he would.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” You implore, and Steve’s eyebrows raise a little. He was hoping you wouldn’t ask that, but he supposes it was bound to happen eventually.

“Ah, well, the director is a friend of mine. I figured I’d show up for support, you know, keep the connection up.” He’s lying through his teeth, and you both know it. But part of Hollywood is pretending like you’re all not just lying to each other the whole time. You’ve gotten more used to it over time.

Neither of you mention what you saw inside. Partly because you’re unsure if you were imagining it, and partly because you wouldn’t even know where to insert it. Yet the sight of him getting emotional lingers in the back of your head.

“I thought you uh, didn’t know who I was?” Steve remarks, and you catch your own slip up now too. Why would you care if he showed up, if you didn’t even know his name?

“Oh, I do, your uh… Your name just slipped my mind.” Your nonchalant façade starts to falter, and you’re hoping it doesn’t make you look as much of a fool as you think you do.

Instead of pressing on, he chuckles. It’s a warm chuckle, low, smooth, it sends a shiver down your spine. He seems amused by you, for a reason you can’t quite make out.

He presses a hand to the small of your back, leaning in closely to your ear, and you think you might start seeing stars. He smells so incredibly good, you nearly melt into his touch, whether you mean to or not.

“Well, make sure to make it stick this time, hm, honey?”

You’re pretty sure your entire body has heated up just from hearing that. You hate how well his charm works on you, that silky voice and smug demeanour.

He pulls back, and just as you expected, he’s smiling like the cat that got the cream. “See you around, princess. Enjoy your premiere.”

You’ve had a lot of mind blowing shit happen to you already. The fact that you’re standing at your own movie premiere, surrounded by people you admire is insane to you on its own.

Now you’re getting flirted with by one of Hollywood’s golden boys, and you just have to play it cool. Pretend that you don’t feel like giggling like a teenage girl and getting all flustered. It makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you mad. That he can walk off, just like that, all cocky and confident. You don't want him to think of you like the innocent debutante that he can just play around with for a bit, before he moves on to the next young thing. You've seen that movie before.

Before you have a chance to let it get to your head, one of your costars, the younger girl that plays your little sister, comes up to you. "Geez, you okay? You look a little... Pressed."

"'M fine. Just-- a little frustrated. Sorry I haven't said hi yet, this is all... A lot, you know?"

"You'll get used to it." She sips her glass of champagne, and you want to say something about it, before you remember she's only two years younger than you. She's been an actress since she was 6 years old, she knows the industry so much better than you, and yet you feel protective over her.

"I don't think I ever will, to be honest. God, my shoes are killing me." You groan, hoping no one's close enough to hear you complain. The last thing you want is to come across as ungrateful for all this.

"Have some more champagne, that usually does the trick." She looks off to the side for a moment, and you can tell she's a little tense too. "Me and the rest of the girls on crew are going to get drinks and food later, wanna join?"

Her invitation brings a smile to your face. Though you're constantly surrounded by people, Hollywood brings a profound sense of loneliness into your life. You have trouble fitting in, connecting. Everyone is all smiles and compliments, yet no one talks, no one calls. Anything is rarely personal. And making friends is hell.

"I'd love to, seriously. Tell you what, it's my treat. To celebrate our premiere, hm?"

She smiles back, leaving her empty glass on the tray of a passing waiter. "Cool. I'm off to the bathroom, cab's gonna be out front around 8."

She leaves you shortly after, and suddenly it's there again. That profound sense of loneliness. It's got you left thinking about what Steve said to you. How he talked to you. That tone.

It makes you feel small. Yet you hold on to every word.

How infuriating.

The rest of the premiere is a dazed flurry of conversations and pictures taken in your memory. You've got too much on your mind now to enjoy most of it, and you damn that smug asshole for being the reason for that.

You walk outside, the sky being a lot darker than you expected. You sigh, the air you breathe out coming out in little clouds. April shouldn't be this cold, not in California, at least.

You look around, no cab to be seen yet. Your eyes catch sight of a familiar man smoking. He flicks open an expensive lighter, his hands shielding the flame from the wind.

The fire frames his face in a special kind of light. It shows both the pretty freckles scattered on his skin, and the bags present under his eyes. The strange dichotomy of his personality, represented so simply on his face.

It just pisses you off even more how handsome he is.

Before you realise it, your legs are taking you closer to him, heels clicking onto the pavement as you strut over. He only seems to notice your presence when your shadow casts over him, taking away the yellowish glow of the streetlight.

"Missed me already?" He smiles, lips still wrapped around the cigarette before he takes it between his fingers.

"You can't talk to someone like that. At least not to me." You don't know where this sudden surge of confidence sprouted from, your words even surprising yourself.

"I'm sorry?" He stands up straighter, and though his stature is definitely taller than yours, you try not to let it phase you.

"I know what you're trying to do. I'm not dumb. Maybe you think I am, but I'm not." You cross your arms, partly to shield yourself from the cold, partly to feign courage.

"And what do you think I'm doing then, hm?" The smile on his face makes you want to desperately smack it right off. He really is exactly like people say.

"Don't act stupid with me. You think you've got me all figured out, huh? You randomly show up to my premiere, and the first time we talk, you try to butter me up. Did you expect me to drop to my knees for you or something? Thank you for gracing me with your almighty presence, which for the record, I did not ask for?"

He's speechless for a second. This is a first. Usually, when a woman is cussing him out, it's after they've dated, not before.

He chuckles, dropping his half smoked cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out with his shoe.

"Sounds like you think you've got me all figured out, doll."

"Don't call me that."

"It's not a bad thing."

"I decide that. Not you."

He sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning his head back for a moment. "Geez... So much for first impressions huh?"

"I'm not the one trying to get into the other's pants now, am I?"

"Coulda fooled me."

"God, you're fucking insufferable." You laugh dryly, rolling your eyes. "You think I'm some stupid showbiz newbie, that I'm supposed to be grateful you're even talking to me. Maybe have sex with you and see what opportunities I get out of it."

He just looks at you now. You don't know if that's better than a response, because he's neither confirming nor denying it. Or maybe he realises nothing he says will save him in this. He'd be right about that.

"Do me a favour, if you’re just going to treat me like a ditz, don’t talk to me again. I’m already forced to deal with enough guys like you on the daily, so go bother someone else.”

As if called by some higher being, the cab, along with the girls you were supposed to meet, arrive outside. You gave Steve no time to respond, instead offering him a cold shoulder and some time to let all of that sink in. Though you doubt your words are going to make him change that attitude any time soon.

He leans against the wall outside, watching the dark car you got in drive by and away into the nightly city. He’s not sure what to do with what’s just been given to him.

No woman has ever figured him out this early on. Or maybe they have, and they just never told him this outright. It’s not like he tries to hide the type of person that he is, it’s just that it usually never blows up in his face this much. You’ve taken his flirting, turned it around and served it right back at him to make him think it all over. You‘ve practically rendered him speechless, and it’s only your first time meeting.

It’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚tag list

@inkluvs @palmtreesx3

[drconstellation]

When Crowley met Jesus, and the other demon at Golgotha

You know the scene. 33AD. Aziraphale is watching the crucifixion take place and certain fem-presenting demon sidles up to him.

Aziraphale greets them, and finds out they have changed their name.

"What is it now?" he asks them. " Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?"

I know most you have learnt by now that Asmodeus is the demon of lust, and this is obviously Aziraphale's idea of a flirty little joke (perhaps the first we see? because he's the one who's really as "mad as bag of frogs" after all and that's why Crowley's made an appearance, because he was probably just in the area, you know...), but I haven't seen or come across much meta about the first suggested name, which is a GO "lead balloon" moment.

Mephistopheles, Aziraphale? That's the name you thought of here? Of all places? jfc...you bad, bad angel! lmoa! This is a serious, sombre situation you are witnessing!

Mephistopheles is the name of the fictional demon sent to do a deal with the character Faust in a story that dates back to Germany in the early 1500s. Faust was a like a scientist in his day, well educated in things like alchemy and astrology and other mystical arts, maybe even having wizard powers (why not?) But he was hungry for more power so he did a deal with the devil for 24 years of assistance to achieve and gain anything he desired, and at the end of that time he would be claimed by Hell. Needless to say, despite starting off well it didn't have a happy ending. (I wont go into details as there are lots of variants, and its not that short, and they aren't all that relevant to the point of the post.)

It has been a hugely influential story ever since, appearing in many forms over the years; in opera, theater, movies, novels, adaptations such as Oscar Wilde's The Portrait of Dorian Grey, and Queen's famous song Bohemian Rhapsody. Terry Pratchett also did a parody of it in his 1990 book Eric, and readers have often noted the similarity to the Hell depicted there to the Hell in GO.

Its the origin of the idiom "to do a deal with the devil" and a Faustian bargain. The mortals that enter into the deal with a powerful supernatural entity are usually set up to fail, and we go along with it because we are so used to the trope, its one we've come to expect the bargainer to fail in some spectacular fashion. It's one that keeps being repeated again and again because it so interesting to explore - often the protagonist is looking for some form of happiness, sometimes revenge, and hopes the deal will deliver, but find out the hard way that they should be careful what they wish for because the delivery is a two-edged sword. They may find out that they don't actually want what they thought they wanted, or they get what they want in an very unexpected way.

Back to Golgotha, and our demon and angel. We learn the demon has merely modified their name to Crowley. And yes, they met Jesus.

C: "Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

A: "Why?"

C: "He's a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities are limited."

This is a reference to one of the the tests of faith Jesus was put through before his crucifixion, from the Book of Matthew.

I like this modern version I found:

For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.” Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.” The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs. Matthew 4:8-11 The Message

Or, you could say: Crowley showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world, and offered the bargain that he could rule them all if he would renounce God and worship Satan instead, but Jesus just turned to the demonic messenger and simply told him to "fuck off!"

And there we have it, folks. Mephistopheles, and Asmodeus. Touche, Aziraphale, you sly little shit stirrer.

[charles-leclerc-official]

Re: the cringe thing

The pandemic caused an influx of ppl into fandom spaces that weren't used to be in this space before and I've seen some policing around of things. Specially in fics or fanart with idk moral policy/purity movements bc the "don't like don't read" essence of fandom is lost and people want to cancel writers for writing about "dark themes". I am glad people are involving themselves in new spaces they discover and like, but it's always intresting to see a "culture shock" because of this.

In f1 spaces specifically I see a lot of lestappie hate because we are "delusional" and "they aren't even friends! They don't like each other! They aren't fucking!" When I think that's like fundamentally misunderstanding what real people fandom/fiction is. The fiction part here is key, people!

Oh yeah I totally agree, I need to find it, someone made a really good essay post about exactly that, the way a lot of "normies"(idk a better word) entered fandom spaces over the pandemic and then started shaming the fans that were already there. I need to find that post because it was very well reasoned.

I feel like if you want to join in a fandom you have to embrace the cringe. If not then the space changes and usually not for the best.

I feel like anti-lestappen people really miss the whole point of RPF, I don't care how realistic it is, just gimme a whiff of a dynamic and I can write 100k just watch me. (I feel the same way about like people trying to pick apart how good of friends anyone is when it comes to enjoying a ship. It's fake, I don't care if it's pr in real life, I am making it up saying what if they were best friends etc) So many get stuck on the RP and dig into the dynamic and forget the F and the F is the fun part. Where is the whimsy? what if they were mermaids? what if Charles finally gets his praise kink properly satisfied???

I feel like telling some of these ppl on twt about my Oscar/George nonsense would put them into an early grave

[austinslounge]

Im just here to rant about the awards. I don't want to talk about his personal life anymore.

Anyways I'm just kinda upset that Austin might not end up with Major nominations for this year.

1.Dune is a sci-fi movie which are usually overlooked especially in the acting department

2. Everyone has forgotten about the movie

3. Their campaign is terribly weak. It's only Denis doing some screenings that nobody cares about

4. It's mostly because timothee is focusing on campaigning for the bob Dylan movie, it's an Oscar bait movie so he isn't campaigning for Dune 2 and Zendaya(even though she has no chance in an Oscar nomination) is campaigning for Challengers.... So because both leads aren't doing anything, Austin isn't getting any push from WB either

5. Forget about Bikeriders, it has no chance in anything

6. The critics and award experts aren't predicting him to get any nominations. The only chance he has was getting a golden globe nomination but that also seems unlikely.

7. I know I shouldn't be upset over this, not every role is award worthy. There are plenty of other actors who have been overlooked too but I'm still upset nonetheless

8. It's all the more upsetting because if he doesn't get nominated then there's less chance of him even attending these shows. So we probably won't see him on any red carpets for a while.

9. My only hope is that Dune 2 gets a SAG ensemble award so that would automatically make him a winner. Also hopefully Dune 2 will be nominated for the best picture at the Oscars so that he can attend the show with the cast.

End!!

Here's a hug for you girlie 🥰

I'm kind of bummed too, but I'll be honest, I didn't really expect much this year? I think my biggest bet would have been on "Dune: Part 2", but like you said, Sci-fi films aren't exactly awards bait, Timothée is putting more of his time and effort on the Bob Dylan biopic (rightfully so), and Zendaya is also putting more of her focus on "Challengers" (rightfully so).

I actually haven't even really seen Zendaya doing that much of a push for "Challengers", and she still got a nomination. 😅

But don't worry, Austin already has his Golden Globe award. Maybe this year will be Timothée's year. 😊 I'm happy for a lot of the other nominees this year.

While I'm kind of bummed that Austin's great performance in Dune isn't getting recognized by the major awards (yet), at the same time, I realize that there will be years when he won't be considered for any awards, and that's okay! That's just the life of an actor lol.

Don't worry though, I foresee plenty more nominations and award wins in Austin's career going forward. 😊 I'm just so thankful he's been able to do such wonderful work with such an amazing, talented group of people.

I would love for the Dune cast to get a SAG ensemble cast nod!

And let's still keep our fingers crossed for Austin being a possible presenter at one of these awards events. Keep in mind, he was in 2 films this year, one that has been critically-acclaimed, and, he also has "Eddington" coming out, and he's also been announced for "American Speed". So, he has a lot of buzz surrounding him rn, so they might ask him to present at one of these awards. I guess we'll see! 😊

Let's pray we get to see him on the red carpet at an awards event this year with the buzzed cut! 😁

[saveugoodmadam]

A Wolf in Newsie's Clothing

A/N: Just to warn you all, there will be descriptions of werewolf transformations scattered throughout the fic. There is one in this chapter. Content warning for body horror- if you wish to skip it, scroll from 'It gave no answer' to 'Jack, having walked home from the theatre, began to climb the fire escape'.

Word count: 1,953

Awoosies masterpost

It was a balmy mid-September, 1899. Two months had past since the momentous strike, and newsies in all boroughs were still- well, not drunk with the victory, but certainly tipsy with it. Unfortunately, this also meant that the opposing side to the strike were still saddled with the bitter aftertaste of defeat.

In Manhattan, in a place known by all as the Tombs, a sharp-eyed man in a prison uniform ran his fingernails down the walls of his cell. Tonight was the night. All he had to do was wait for the night, and then they would be out of here and the plan would be put into action. Everyone that had landed him in here would be dealt with, one by one.

He vowed it on the rising moon.

"Notice anything today?" Specs giggled into Romeo's ear.

"I sure do." Romeo replied with a knowing smirk.

The 'anything' in question was one Morris DeLancey. Usually the strong and silent type, seen standing behind his brother and tossing bundles of papers to him, he seemed more evasive and even a little... scared? Oscar eyed them all with the same cold, hostile expression as usual. As the newsies went up to collect their papers, they threw a few light-hearted remarks Morris' way.

"Scared of your own shadow, Morris?"

"Hey, earth to DeLancey!"

"Aww, are you scared of little old me? Don't worry, Morris, I ain't gonna touch you."

Crutchie was next to get his papers. 

"Don't worry, Morris." he quipped. "We ain't gonna bite."

His words seemed to snap something deep inside Morris. Suddenly, he was dropping his papers and falling backwards as the younger DeLancey leapt forwards and sank his teeth into his arm, drawing blood. He seemed almost savage, staring at Crutchie with wild eyes until his uncle and brother dragged him off.

"What the heck was that?" Jack asked, running over to Crutchie and standing in front of him protectively.

"Hey, if your pals hadn't been winding him up, Kelly-" Oscar began, then was cut off by Morris, who was sitting on the ground by the newspaper cart, his head in his hands.

"I's sorry." he muttered, panicked. "I's sorry. I dunno what happened. I's sorry..."

Crutchie grabbed onto his crutch from where it had fallen and stood up. He retrieved his papers from the ground and gave an uneasy laugh.

" 's alright. Sorry, Morris. I shouldn't'a pushed you."

He joined the other newsies where they stood, ready to leave for selling. Buttons approached him, pulling his own neckerchief off and wrapping it around the wound.

"It don't look infected." he mumbled as he worked. "But be careful with it. And don't go spreading it that Morris DeLancey bit a man like a rabid dog. Oscar'll probably break your good leg if it gets out.

"Finch squeezed his shoulder gently.

"You okay, Crutchie? That was a pretty bad tumble. Is your leg alright?"

"Hurts a little. My arm hurts a lot, though. It's all tingly and achy."

"You'll be alright, I'm sure. You're hardier than most, Crutchie." Henry reassured him.

Crutchie smiled, and tried his best not to think about the look that Morris was giving him. It wasn't resentment, or bitterness. It was horror, guilt, and worst of all, pity. Refusing to catch his attacker's eye, he slipped his papers into his bag.

Mush was last to get his papers, and then they all spilled out onto the streets of New York, their wares held high above their heads. Trying to put aside the oddness of the morning, Crutchie took a deep breath in and started calling out.

"Extra! Extra! Six convicts escape from the Tombs!" he paused, then lied, "All convinced'a homicide! Real dangerous folks! Read all about it for only two cents!"

Jack was usually away in the evenings. Either he was at the theatre, working on a backdrop or a cartoon for Pulitzer, or he was at the Jacobs family home to see Davey. Crutchie didn't mind, it wasn't as if Jack was neglecting him and his friend always made sure to take a few evenings a month to be at the lodging house. This evening, however, wasn't one, so Crutchie was downstairs playing cards with Race and the twins.

"Snap!" Mike exclaimed triumphantly, throwing his hand down on top of a pile of cards.

"Mike, we's playin' poker." Race sighed.

"I thought this was whist?" Ike asked.

Crutchie laughed. "We agreed we was playin' blackjack!"

All four threw their remaining cards to the middle of the table, landing in a scattered mess of red and black across the wooden surface.

"Fifteen minutes 'til bedtime!" Specs called from where he and Romeo were sat with one of the few books in the lodging house.

"Yeah, we know. We ain't ten-year-olds any more, Specs." Race retorted, huffing. "Looks like we's got just enough time for another proper game before we's gotta sleep, fellas."

Crutchie yawned slightly. "I'm probably going to head up early, actually. Today's taken a lot outta me." He scratched at the neckerchief around his arm.

"Don't scratch at it!" Buttons called from across the room. "It doesn't help it heal."

He beckoned Crutchie over so he could look at the bite wound. With deft fingers, he undid the strip of fabric and let it fall away to expose...

"It's... healed." Buttons said, a small gasp in his voice.

Crutchie peered at the unbroken skin. "...huh. Funny."

"Funny 'ha ha' or funny 'peculiar'?" Tommy Boy asked with a grin.

"Funny 'medically impossible'." Buttons shot back.

Crutchie yawned again, and scratched at the skin. The itch from the morning felt like it was back with a vengeance. "Look, fellas, I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired. See you in the morning, okay?"

For a second, Buttons looked like he was about to stop him and say something. But he let it go, and waved goodnight as Crutchie left to climb the fire escape up to the penthouse. He flopped down onto his mattress at the top, discarding his crutch against the railings with the familiar thud of wood on iron. The sun had almost set and he watched the pretty colours bleed into one another. He fully expected to fall asleep to this.

Here's the thing- he didn't. No matter how hard he tried, he'd suddenly been provided with a burst of new energy and adrenaline. He scratched at his arm nonchalantly, wondering when Jack would be back. Maybe they could stay up all night talking, like they used to. He'd like that. With a sigh, he gave in on trying to sleep and sat up. Inside, in the lodging house, he could hear Specs and Race supervising the others as they prepared for bed.

...wait, he could hear them? He paused in his itching to frown slightly. Odd, he'd never heard them before. It was possible (though unlikely) that they were being louder tonight. He was distracted by a faint cramping sensation in his stomach as the moon started its ascent into the sky. He groaned faintly, rolling onto his side. The itching on his arm got worse, and it started to spread until it felt like there were pins and needles lying just beneath his skin. As the itching worsened, so did the cramps. He made faint wheezing noises as they wracked through his body. 

"What's ha- happening..." he whispered to the moon. 

It gave no answer.

Crutchie wanted to scream as he felt his bones rearrange themselves under his skin. Whining softly, he bit his lip with sharpening teeth to avoid waking up the others. 

"J- Jack? Help me, please, help me. Why aren't you here... what's happening to m- meeee..." he croaked out as his mouth twisted outwards.

His quiet cries and mumblings turned to whimpering and soft, pained snarls. Another set of cries Jack wasn't answering. His fingernails lengthened to claws on his paws that scrabbled all over his body, desperately trying to ease the itching as golden brown hair swept across it. A tail pushed out from his spine, caught and restricted by the seat of his dungarees. He panted and wept with exhaustion as all the details slotted themselves into place, then curled up on the mattress, swamped by his own clothes.

Jack, having walked home from the theatre, began to climb the fire escape. He'd gotten halfway through Medda's newest backdrop- this one of Central Park- and finished his next cartoon for Pulitzer. On his way up, he passed windows through which he could see rooms of his sleeping friends. Softly, so that nobody but him would ever know it, he smiled to himself. Since the success of the strike, he'd found that Santa Fe wasn't really what he'd needed. It was just a better life in New York- and his friends were one of the things making it better. He reached the top step and hopped up onto the roof.

"Crutchie? Are you still awake?" he asked, scanning his 'penthouse' for any sign of his friend. "Are you sleeping downstairs tonight?"

A soft barking noise caught his attention, and his breath caught in his throat as he turned with wide eyes towards the source of it. 

"Hey, big guy..." he whispered, backing away from the animal. It regarded him with intelligent, hazel eyes.

"What are you, a coyote? You'd be a long way from home. They gots coyotes in Santa Fe. You from Santa Fe, big guy?"

It chuffed softly, making no effort to attack. Jack smiled nervously and held his hand out for the canine to sniff. Its tail waved happily behind it as it rubbed its face against his outstretched palm and fingers. He couldn't help but chuckle softly.

"You're pretty friendly, ain't ya? I'll show you to Crutchie in the morning. He'll like you, I can tell." 

His hand moved to scratch behind its ear, then a little further back until he drew it back like something had burnt him. For all this time, he'd been so focused on the animal's face that he didn't notice it was wearing fabric. No, not just fabric. An entire outfit.

"What the- what the... WHAT?" he exclaimed, scrambling backwards. The coyote- no, wolf, that was a wolf, coyotes didn't have ears that round and were probably friendlier when faced with a panicking human. But it probably wasn't even a wolf. He didn't even know, and that's what scared him. It is easier to deal with something that is clearly an animal than something that looks like an animal but does human things.

"I- clothes? You're... you- clothes?" 

The wolf stood and tried to get closer to him, and stumbled backwards as he screamed. It tried to shake off the clothes that hung loosely around its canine frame, as if it thought that would make him less scared. He saw the battered dungarees now, heard the click of rosary beads against one another, gasped as he saw the wolf's right back leg drag slightly across the mattress while the other three legs moved easily.

No. No. It couldn't be.

Tears streamed down his face at the thought of it, but he couldn't deny the evidence of his own eyes.

"C- Crutchie?" he breathed, reaching out a shaking hand.

[mermaidsirennikita]

are you watching Mary & George? 👀 would love your thoughts if so

I have seen it! Loved it.

--Julianne Moore is obviously the standout, because she's Julianne Moore and let us be real, is one of the finest actresses of her generation even if Still Alice was not what she should have won her Oscar for.

Mary is the type of character we so rarely get to see onscreen, but I fucking love it when we do. Scheming, avaricious, wholly selfish, yet somehow human and also capable of genuinely caring about people and, very occasionally, feeling some guilt. Usually when the consequences of her actions directly affect her and hers, but still!

--Nicholas Galitzine is an actor I really generally like (I don't care for Purple Hearts... at all... I actually hate that movie and pretend it doesn't exist... Cinderella was obviously bad but he did his best, I really liked The Idea of You, LOVE Bottoms and RWARB, so generally our track record together is pretty good) and he was so good in this. Does a great job with the "from boy to monster" arc. Loved his chemistry with Julianne and Tony Curran. I also, as much as I find him more pretty than my type, was legit attracted to him during his Evil George Era, and he also has the type of appeal and charisma as George that makes me BELIEVE that he's the type of guy who could basically get by on everyone wanting him.

--Tony Curran was fabulous. The gluttony, the madness, the love, the lechery. He's like, at once this incredibly spoiled and indulged king who honestly shouldn't be running anything, let alone a nation, and this tragic figure who's constantly being used. His relationship with George is so ambiguous, too. Like.. is it all attraction and using? Is it love? Is it all of the above (my take). It kind of mirrors George's relationship with Mary in that sense, though obviously with the added component of sex and romance--you can't really tell what's love and what's control.

--Love the look of everything. I feel like they captured the Baroque really well, overall. THOUGH. I MUST SAY. We get basically like, a tiny snippet with the full Iconic Buckingham look (the giant feathered hat and cape) and Nick looked SO GOOD in it. Why didn't we have more of that???

--The one thing I can say is that they really could've changed the pacing a bit. A lot happened in George's life after the king died--he did a lot of puppet-ruling (which... did not go well). I get having to cut some of the wild stuff (like the Anne of Austria affair rumors) but they chopped out a lot. Like, I generally loved the climax of the story and I don't really care about historical accuracy as long as the story is good (and the story is good). But it was very rushed in the end.

That said, overall recommend. Mary and George reminded me of Atia and Octavian, if Octavian was a himbo until he wasn't. I'm so fond of a conflicted evil mother/ambiguous-to-evil son dynamic in a period piece.

[dream-meister-translations]

WALTER - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"You're in good hands, give me a shout if you need anything."

"Poisonous plants can become a delicacy if detoxified in the right way. Here have a taste."

"If there's a plant you don't know about, ask me."

"Be careful in the woods. This is where poisonous plants grow. Recklessness can be fatal."

"This poisonous plant recovers fatigue. It's also tasty."

"I need to strengthen my resistance to other things, not just poison."

"It's okay to touch it. It's only poisonous if you eat it."

"Looks like my research is coming along nicely."

"I appreciate your openness to learning about poisonous plants. A lot of people don't like them."

"It's usually me listening to other people's stories, but if you don't mind, could you listen to mine?"

"Will you tend to the poisonous plants with me today? I've been enjoying our quality time together a lot lately."

"Hm? This poisonous plant is beautiful? Yes, it is. But, I think your smile is even more beautiful."

"I want the whole world to appreciate the beauty of poisonous plants, can I ask for your help in spreading the word?"

"When you taste this special poisonous herb dish, you will be shocked by how delicious it is."

"Sometimes I get these strange urges to touch and caress you…Maybe the poison is effecting me after all."

"Don't worry. You can sleep a little longer. Surrounded by all these beautiful flowers, you look like Sleeping Beauty."

"….Then shall we go? ….Sorry, just trying to think of something to say."

"I guess we should get home. By the way, did you have a good time? Phew. I'm relieved."

"Yes. I'm listening to you. Are you blind? Don't I look like I'm listening?

"I'm sorry, I was looking at the grass…It's pretty tasty, you know?"

"If you need anything, anything at all, I'm happy to help."

"Sometimes pointless exchanges like this can be pretty fun."

"These mushrooms are delicious. Sure, they numb the tongue a little, but it's not too bad."

"There are lots of delicious poisonous plants growing out in the wild."

"Lately I've really loved eating the vegetables that grow in the castle garden. The roots are poisonous, but the flavor is incomparable."

"The other day, I made you some food. You said it was delicious. Did it not bug you at all that it was made from a poisonous plant?"

"Oh, you didn't know there were poisonous plants in it? Oscar asked me to make it for him, so I wanted your opinion on it."

"If it was good, then it was a success. Next time, I'll remember to tell you what is in the meal before you eat it."

"The definition of a herbalist is wide, but for me it's all about making poison useful in gastronomy."

"I know you like to help me, but be careful when dealing with poisonous plants, okay?"

"I'm naturally resistant to the poison, but if you get hurt, I'll never forgive myself."

"I'm glad you're not afraid of me or my plants."

"The stems with weak neurotoxins are fine, but please don't touch the roots."

"Rather than trying to explain, why don't you have a taste?"

"Did you bring any luggage? If you have anything heavy you need help carrying, I got you."

"Ooh! Look over there! I've never seen that type of plant, do you mind if I stop and gather some?"

"You look tired…I hope I'm not putting too much pressure on you…You should really take it easy."

"It's been a long time since I last took a leisurely walk with someone…It's pretty nice."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot to reply. What's up?"

"Do you like hitting me? You can slap me even harder if you want."

"Your hands are so warm…"

"Did you know, there is a mushroom that can make you laugh when you eat it? I had one once…"

"When you laugh you look a bit more youthful. At work you look always look so dignified. I think both look good."

"You want to see me smile? ……I'll try. How does this look?"

"I'm sorry I'm not a very sociable guy. I try to be, but I'm just not good at it."

"Huh…You laugh a lot when you're around me. I laugh too? I guess it's cause I'm hanging with you."

"Hm. This tea is good, but I prefer teas made from poisonous herbs. I'd like to serve it to you sometime."

"It's delicious. The tea leaves are of high quality and it is brewed perfectly."

"You know, poison can also be used as medicine… I wish I could make a tea with poisonous herbs that could heal someone."

"….You tend to talk a lot."

"You're so cute, I just want to pat your head."

"I'd love to tell you a story you'd enjoy…If only I could think of any."

"A cake? It's my birthday? I guess I forgot."

"I know I'm a big man, but even I can't carry all these gifts."

(gift like) "This is awesome. Thank you."

(gift normal) "For me? Thank you. I'll put it to use."

(gift dislike) "……….Sorry. I was just a little taken aback. Thank you for your thoughtfulness."

"I got you this calming, poisonous herb. I've removed the poison, so you can eat it without worry."

━

WALTER : The other day, in the swamps of the valley, I found this poisonous plant that looked delicious. I wonder if it's worth serving at our restaurant. OSCAR : Go collect some right away. When you succeed in removing the poison, I'll have Cuit cook it up.

[destinyc1020]

In regards to Tom’s career trajectory, I recently read an interview with one of his agents James Farrell who represents Austin and John David Washington and it’s so interesting ppl talk about how bad his agent is when this same agent was able to turn around Austin’s career and make him seem more serious as an actor (critically serious not commercial like Spider-Man). His agent is all about taking the long road and waiting for quality projects as opposed to quantity.

While it’s great for JE to have a lot of projects going for him, whose to say that most of those projects are going to do well? Like I’ve seen that Ben Affleck and Ana de aromas film and despite a good cast, the film was subpar. Leo Dicaprio has done a lot of films yet the general public really only know him f from his few poignant projects, not the quantity of films that okay at best. Just like Bryan Cranston is always going to be Walter White for some because his performance was that good. Again this isn’t shade to Jacob but really fandoms in general who’s favs do less roles than their counterparts. I remember a few years ago Zendaya was casted in this film with Jake Gyllnehaal that didn’t go into play and just recently that same film was made with Jenna Ortega and it’s come out in film festivals and bombed. Not every film is gonna turn out great.

I trust Tom and Z and I know whatever project they do, they have a great team who cares about their worth and time. Yes there are actors who do a lot of roles and are great.

My fav Christopher Abbot who was in TCR(I recommend watching Sanctuary with Margaret Qualley if you have the chance cause it’s great) and now is in Poor Things. Though he had been acting for a while, it wasn’t until James white, a perfect film, where he was taken seriously from critics. Before then his was most notable as a boyfriend from Girls. He was 27 -28 when he filmed that project, similar age to Tom.

Sorry for the rant, I’m aware of fan wars but I hope to have brought a nuanced opinion to discussing young actors career. Tell me if you want the link to his agents interview. Peace and love xxx

Thanks Anon... Yea, they all 3 share the same agent lol. Funny huh? 😅

His agent is all about taking the long road and waiting for quality projects as opposed to quantity.

I didn't know that actually.... 🤔

But yea, playing the "long game" is actually not a bad thing imo. I mean, just look at Ke Huy Quan lol 😅 So, you're NEVER "too old" to do more substantial work/projects in the industry, or even win an Oscar! I think some of these fans need to take a look at some of these older actors out here. Even THEE Leo (who a lot of our faves seem to admire) was nominated at age 19 for his first Oscar, but Leo didn't even win an Oscar until he was already in his 40s!!! Soooo....why do stans of actors these days put so much pressure on their faves to win an Oscar at 25?? 🥴

I just don't get it. You have to look at the pattern and lower your expectations....

Like I’ve seen that Ben Affleck and Ana de aromas film and despite a good cast, the film was subpar.

That film was a Wattpad fanfic ROTFL 😅🤣 I couldn't believe what I was watching! No WONDER that film got scrapped for the big screen and got switched to straight to streaming lol. 😅

Leo Dicaprio has done a lot of films yet the general public really only know him f from his few poignant projects, not the quantity of films that okay at best.

Actually, I think MOST of Leo's film work has been pretty decent, which is why so many younger actors look up to him and his career. He's very calculated on what he will choose and what types of roles he will do. Even if the film he did itself wasn't a "blockbuster", they've typically been interesting, his acting is usually on point, and he puts butts in seats. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I trust Tom and Z and I know whatever project they do, they have a great team who cares about their worth and time. Yes there are actors who do a lot of roles and are great.

Exactly! At this point, I don't care what Tom and Z decide to do career-wise as long as it makes them HAPPY and feel FULFILLED. That's all that I wish for my faves... As long as they're happy and fulfilled, and feel GREAT about their work, then, I'm happy! :) 🥰

My fav Christopher Abbot who was in TCR(I recommend watching Sanctuary with Margaret Qualley if you have the chance cause it’s great) and now is in Poor Things.

Thanks for the rec! 😉👍🏾

Sorry for the rant, I’m aware of fan wars but I hope to have brought a nuanced opinion to discussing young actors career. Tell me if you want the link to his agents interview. Peace and love xxx

No worries! You know I LOVE discussing films. 😊 And yea, sure, send me the link to his interview! :)

[usuallydeepcoffee]

4, 11, and 21 for choosing violence!

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

lol, I don't remember the exact post, but I do remember that it was well after a year since Endgame had come out and this person was still whining about Steve, using all the marvel shows to point out endgame (and marvel's) hypocrisy. Probably are still doing that now. Hate watching at its finest with a good dose of not being able to let go (ironic, considering they were dragging Steve for... not being able to let go?)

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

On tumblr, not that many (people with shitty takes usually don't have the good taste of tagging them appropriately, so I've given up): I've had to add anti-peggy recently, because I've had to read with my own eyes that Peggy abused Steve and like, we're not doing this 4 years after endgame, nope.

I used to filter a lot on ao3, before they added the exclude feature; lmao I had a ton of "not XXX friendly" and "sub/bottom!b*cky (and T0ny, when I was still foolishly holding out hope that the st0ny fandom would come around and learn to like Steve), for the reasons mentioned in the previous ask; that and "XX needs a hug" because they always ended up being overly indulgent towards that character, which. If it ain't Steve, I don't care. No hugs for you (I'm kidding).

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Idk if this counts but... I think especially with the latest releases, people are overhyping marvel phases 1-3. The first Avengers movie was a nice and fun movie, groundbreaking for 2012, but it's not as perfect as the fans (mainly the ones that are unhappy with the most recent releases) seem to remember. I've seen people complain about phase 4 becoming too quippy and -really? So you've never seen a movie with Iron-man in it?

Like, the truth is that they always had their flaws, with the writing, (Bruce falling on Nat's boobs? The whole "I'm a monster too"?), with the pacing, with the balancing of the characters, but the more time passes and the more content we get, the more people idealise "the good ol' times".

IMHO projects like Shang Chi and Moon Knight were quality content: Oscar Isaacs' acting was top tier and Shang Chi's father made a compelling, complex villain (Also the score for Shang Chi. Oh my god)

I get some of the criticism, but the first marvel movies had their flaws as well and they're not as unthouchable as people think.

(Except the captain America movies of corse 😇)

choose violence ask game

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

Who do your friends think are hotter latinx dudes? (If it’s Pedro pascal or oscar Isaac - they’ve got worst taste tbh)

Like 97%+ of the Latin / Latino / Latine community, I'm not a huge fan of Latinx and consider this terminology to be an example of linguistic imperialism, but i am DELIGHTED to answer this question with a subset of dudes.

To clarify, though, as much as a meme and pout about it, I do get why my taste is different than theirs. I'm not ever too impressed by just looks--there's a lot of handsome dudes out there, who cares? like honestly, so what?--but I'm very attracted to movement and stance and motion. IRL, my party trick is that I can pick martial artists or dancers out of a crowd by how they stand or move, and I do this based purely on "is the way this dude stands sexy to me or not?" as opposed to any kind of objective criteria.

Accordingly, I married a life long martial artist who went goth clubbing with me enough times to ensure I'm obsessed with him for life. He's also the most amazing poet I've ever met and an actual certified genius, because fundamentally life is unfair. But the point is: movement, movement, movement. It's so important. I have a type, but not necessarily how people usually mean it.

And in the realm of pet actor men, David Castañeda moves way, way better than average, even if you judge him against other dudes trying to be action stars. So my friends are never going to convince me, and I'm never gonna convince them, and that's fine.

So anyway

Miguel Gomez is popular. I think it's the cheekbones. I know him as Gus from the Strain and everybody else has seen him on some other show that sounds like something I'd rather die than watch.

Both the dudes from Mayans MC are popular, and I actually do not disagree with either JD Pardo or Clayton Cardenas as a pick. I resisted watching the show for literally years, but eventually I caved and yeaaaaahhhhh. yeaaaah tho.

Every so often I'm insane about JD for like, a week or so. Fantastic tough guy yet nice boy energy on Mayans. I've said some thirsty ass shit on this account about him for SURE. Unfortunately, every time he posts a Muay Thai workout he's just so sloppy it kills my boner for like. months at a time. I flashback to my own summer in Phuket and can just see how disappointed my trainer would be if this dude was in his gym.

Clayton Cardenas I used to disagree about but he's a Miami boy, so. And like, with the biker styling? Look at him. If he had a dance or martial arts background I'd be a goner.

he also looks like the Hollywood (therefore prettier) version of every single metal Latino dude I've ever met. the 305 and 561 area code versions of this man have hollered at me more times than I can count. like, it's a charming sort of nostalgia. it's That Guy! that type of guy! i know That Guy! I made out with that guy under the bleachers in high school! etc etc. what a darling. the last version of That Guy who tried for me is now happily married and lives in LA and works in a pet crematorium. Very happy for him.

where was i

oh yeah, I have one friend who is obsessed with bad bunny and I guess maybe there's a dance background there maybe but I just do NOT vibe with it at ALL. the id is mysterious. he might just be too young for me? david is on thin ice, age wise, for me. any younger and I'd be repelled.

which is an interesting point, actually. I don't know how old you are, anon, but age might be another factor here. I'm in my mid 30s and CMOOOON

Oscar Isaac doesn't do it for you at least a little????

[ablooglie-wooglie-woo]

Greta's Barbie

I watched the movie yesterday with my sister, and after letting it stew in my mind for a bit, here my general thoughts about it:

First things first, this movie is an accomplishment of production design: from the outfits to the sets, the whole thing is such an authentic recreation of several Barbie's products that it genuinely boggles the mind. I don't know which Oscar category is responsible for these, but if this movie doesn't win at least one, I'm calling bullshit.

I didn't really care for the soundtrack, I can barely remember any of the songs and most of those are there more for the joke than to fill a Amazon Music playlist, anyway.

(I got a free three months after buying a new controller, don't judge me)

All the actors are great in their roles, but biggest kudos goes to Ryan Gosling as Ken, who is a fucking blast every single second he's onscreen, and Gosling is clearly having the time of his life playing the character, joyfully chewing the scenery like a starving dog.

People on Twitter are saying Best Supporting Actor will come down to him and Downey Jr. this year, and while I have yet watch Oppenheimer, I can certainly see the case for Gosling.

Part of it, I think, is because Ken himself gets the best part of the script, his journey from innocent teenager to dude bro to positive bro being great from start to finish.

I'm not saying Barbie herself doesn't get a good arc, mind you, she isn't the personality-less purity incarnate she was in the CGi movies (yes, I did watch those growing up), but it's also much more traditional: what Barbie gets is a coming of age story of a little girl growing out of the bubble of innocence of childhood and embracing all the joys and hardships of the real world.

And it works, it's very well-executed for what it is, but it's also noticeable the way the movie never gives her many significant flaws nor does the narrative ever makes her do anything that puts the audience against her. There's just less to chew on, is what I mean.

Which ties into a criticism I heard that the movie clearly holds back on criticizing the brand of Barbie and even her parent company: for all the movie points out that Mattel's ruled over entirely by men, the CEO is more of a likeable buffoon than someone with any real malice, the entire diatribe the teenage character (whose name I forgot, I think it was Sasha?) is more played more as a joke on how she's a very meanspirited and terminally online bully rather than the perfectly justifiable complaints they are, and so on.

Personally, though, I feel it is to Greta's credit that she knew exactly how far she could push it when it comes to this movie. I've seen way too many stories that attempt something daring only to crash into the wall that is the fact the genre/medium/franchise they're running on doesn't allow for those to be fully materialized, which only ends as the story being worse than something more traditional.

And besides, while the movie might be Feminism 101, it's important to remember that the internet is not the real world, and whichever is your favorite radical feminist author simply has far less reach than a blockbuster movie. It's good that a movie like this can tackle these topics and be this blunt about it, change gotta start out somewhere.

Having said that, while I found those funny, I do think the several self-aware jokes are likely to grate on at least some of you.

All that aside, as someone who watches a lot of movies being parodied in that scene, the Ken War segment made me feel personally attacked.

So that's Greta's Barbie: just a really great time all-around, very worth the price of admission.

PS: There is an inexcusable amount of horses in this movie, fucking overhyped, overrated domesticated pricks is what they are.

PSS: Michael Cera is in this movie. He plays, as usual, a Micheal Cera character. I don't get the hype over him, honestly.

[moxieestar]

hello <3 can you tell me your opinions about both book anna karenina and it's adaptations? i always wanted to ask about it. i hope everything is alright <3 sending hugs via screen

OMG, the perfect ask. Yes, I can absolutely tell you my thoughts!! And thank you, everything is mostly all right :)

Anna Karenina the book is incredible; I know this sounds like a strange thing to say about an 800-page Victorian novel, but it's actually quite the page-turner. It's very gripping. The sentence-level writing isn't great—Tolstoy repeats words a lot, which bothers me—but the plot is exciting and the characters are so amazing. Tolstoy's sense of story and characterization is really remarkable. Anna Arkadyevna herself is a wonderful character, but the supporting cast is just as good if not better. Stiva is endlessly entertaining, Kitty is charming in her childish way, Lyovin is of course so endearing. It's definitely worth reading.

The thing about Anna Karenina the book is that it almost feels like a screenplay in epic novel form. The characters and settings are very clearly defined and the dialogue is sharp and dramatic. So you'd think—or at least I thought—that there would be at least one really, really good adaptation out there! But there isn't...

The early adaptations are okay—Greta Garbo is one of my least favorite Annas, but Vivien Leigh is wonderful.

From what I've seen of it, the 1967 Soviet version is probably the closest to the book. But other than Yury Yakovlev (my beloved), the casting in that version feels off to me.

The 1977 BBC version shouldn't even count. Stuart Wilson as Vronsky is a crime.

The 1997 version is generally thought to be awful, but I love Sophie Marceau as Anna, and the costumes are to die for. I want ALL of those dresses! The soundtrack is also amazing; putting the Pathetic Symphony over Anna's suicide is so genius <3

The 2012 version is... ugh. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. For me, Keira Knightley is the biggest weak link. I watched an interview where one of the producers said "Keira was the obvious choice" and honestly I find that really hard to believe. I say this as someone who looks VERY much like Keira: I don't think she's pretty enough to play Anna. She looks too Hollywood. I also hate the costumes in the 2012 version, and fail to understand why Jacqueline Duran keeps getting nominated for Oscars. What happened to the wonderful costumes of Death in Venice and The Age of Innocence and A Room with a View?? However, the 2012 version has its moments: the soundtrack is great, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Vronsky... oohohohoh <33

The 2013 version (the Italian one that no one's ever heard of) is so awful, I don't think it's really worth discussing. The editing is bad, the acting is bad, the soundtrack is bad, the costumes are atrocious, etc, etc. Vittoria Puccini and Santiago Cabrera are VERY pretty but that's really the only good thing about it.

Now, the 2017 version... people tend to love or hate this one. I'm personally super sensitive, so I don't really like watching the gory war scenes, but I think that's more me than the film itself. Maksim Matveyev is the best Vronsky in my opinion, and the costumes and uniforms are STUNNING. I don't care for the soundtrack, and, as usual, I think Anna is miscast: like Keira Knightley, Elizaveta Boyarskaya just looks too Hollywood for my taste. I also don't know why they didn't show Anna's suicide on screen. I think shooting her suicide always show's off the director's taste, creativity, and values—or lack thereof—and I find it really interesting to compare the different versions.

Anyways, thank you so much for asking—as you can tell I have a lot of opinions about this!! :)

[duns-writes]

For my first drabble on my new writing account, please have Yennefer and Geralt gently taking off Jaskier's fancy waistcoat and boots after his first major performance post Rience.

Very much inspired by this post:

Rating: T for implied past torture

Very little hurt, lots of fluff and comfort, am I projecting? Why yes, yes I am.

Pairing: Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia. Can be read as queerplatonic or romantic.

-------------------

When they get back to their suite of rooms (and Gods but he never thought he'd say that again), Jaskier can feel the tingle in his fingers rising to a burning sting. It's ironic, but fire ants are the first thing his brain lights on when he wishes to describe the pain.

He had known his assignment would be difficult when Dijkstra had presented him with it. In an uncharacteristic display of care for his 'most ineptly useful spy ever' (to which Jaskier didn't have an answer), Sigismund had looked down at him with his eyes a tiny bit soft...which was, frankly, terrifying.

"Are your hands back to normal, after your meeting with Rience?"

He had frozen, mouth gaping for a second and then working for an answer. Hastily plastered on a smile that he knew didn't reach his eyes. Force of habit.

"Quite fine, Sigismund! In fact, the extra sensitivity has made my playing all the more technically superior!" he'd declared. Out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen Eilhart flick her feathers dismissively.

The spymaster's raised eyebrow had told him his (no good, shitty, terrible) ruse had been seen right through, rather as he'd expected.

"This assignment requires you to play a noble gathering, exactly as you would have done before this thrice-damned war. No reference to the Lion Cub, just dancing music and ballads. Jaunty or sentimental as the night requires it. You'd be playing for hours. Need to be as close to your old self as possible, no trace of...Sandpiper. I know there's a letter in your pocket from Lady Djarmila Bulsara of Zerrikan, that you've been anxiously avoiding since you got it a week ago. I know it's probably crumpled half to fuck, and I know your travelling companions will have noticed something's up with you. The deadline to reply is soon, hm?"

He'd swallowed. "By the middle of next week."

"She's a possible ally of Redania against the Black Tide, but we need to find out the allegiances in her circle. Any gossip, rumour, hearsay about who's in whose pocket, you would report it back to me as usual. As I recall, despite being the single worst spy I've ever met, you have a lot of experience in being so loyal it hurts. Perfectly placed to charm the opinions out of her partygoers."

His eyes cast down to the floor as he'd avoided Sigismund's gaze, so he hadn't noticed it softening. The owl had tipped her head in her own facsimile of concern.

"Are you fine to take this assignment, Viscount Lettenhove? I need to be sure you can keep up. We don't want any whispers about winces and flinches from the stage. It's needed intel, sure, but there's no point sending you in if you can't physically do it."

He'd bristled, before reminding himself that he wasn't a spitting cat now. Fighting back off the back of his ego had nearly lost him everything in Oxenfurt. Some days, he thought it had.

"I can do it, but what about-"

"Your witch and your Witcher would attend with you, more as a curiosity than anything."

He'd jerked his head up at that, genuinely shocked.

With a forced chuckle in his voice to hide the tremor, he'd shot back, "Sigismund, Sigismund! Anyone would think you wanted me to feel safe! Have you hit your head?"

With a small smile (well, as much as he ever got there), Dijkstra had handed him a locket.

"Write your findings in the usual way, then fold them into here. Once it is closed it cannot be opened except by someone loyal to Redania, so you won't be able to get into it again."

(There was the smirk. Jaskier had found himself smiling despite the reminder of his fucking damned open heart.)

"Once you are back in Oxenfurt for the winter season, give it to Periwinkle. She'll pass it back to us."

"I...rather suspect I won't be in Oxenfurt for the winter this year."

"Kaer Morhen."

He'd nodded, stupidly blushing slightly.

A gruff chuckle, and a "Give it to Tiger's Eye, then." was all he'd gotten before he had found himself portalled out into his own rooms. As he'd vomited his breakfast into the chamberpot, he'd found himself wondering why the fuck he had ever thought this was a good idea.

Back in the sumptuous rooms set aside for them by the Lady Djarmila (who was such a genuinely kind person, he was surprised she hadn't been eaten alive already), he stepped through the door.

Geralt and Yennefer had retired a few minutes earlier as the lady had pressed her hands to his to thank him for his wonderful performance (and tell him exactly what she thought of Nilfgaard). He'd assumed Geralt's batteries were drained, and knew both he and Yennefer would have been able to scry for danger.

It turned out they had come back for a rather different purpose.

In the centre of the rooms, a diaphanous chiffon curtain had been gathered back, in the deep purple of the Zerrikanian high nobility. Beyond it, a pool had been faced with marble, and smelled faintly of frankincense.

Geralt was sitting at the edge of the pool, in soft linen sleeping clothes, trousers rolled up to his knees. A selection of soaps, oils, salts and sponges sat beside him on a nesting tray. Looking up, he gave the faintest smile.

Yennefer floated in from her bedchamber in a long black nightshirt, violet eyes soft as she looked him up and down.

The physical exertion had been kept at bay by his performing experience, and a well-placed pain reduction spell had left him only the merest of aches in his hand. Now? Now he could feel his shoulders bunching around his ears. A tension headache scruffed his nape, locked around his temples like a metalworker's vice. His feet aching from standing on shining marble for five hours or more.

And his hand? His hand, Gods. He gritted his teeth and bit back a whimper as he tried to stretch it. It had tightened into a claw-like shape, muscles spasming as nervous pain shot up his arm like lightning. Stubbornly reaching for the buttons on his new-Old-Jaskier waistcoat, he pitched forward at the sensation. Hot tears prickled at his eyes, and he began to sob.

With frustration? Relief? Fear? Agony? He didn't know. But a strong pair of hands gently guided him to sit on the edge of the daybed, and a small one gently cradled his head close.

When he opened his eyes, Geralt was kneeling at his feet, gently removing his boots and stockings. Yennefer was making quick work of the fiddly pearl buttons on his waistcoat and demure, high-necked overshirt.

They both looked at him with such unbearable fondness that it was a losing battle to stop himself from sobbing all over again.

[marc-spectorr]

Hiya me again lol 🌻

First of all: Noooooo you're not a fake fan for not having seen his other movies or series. Ok? I'm new to all of this too. And I just started after Moon Knight to get into his filmography and to his person in general. I'm still onto it. Being a fan does not mean to know it all but to go with your whole heart about something. And you do honey. You do. So you're just as much of a big fan as the rest of us. Ok? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, darling. 😘

And second thing: don't worry about the Jake Fic. I'm not mad at all. Sometimes it wouldn't do much for a story to add something that isn't necessary for the plot just to make it longer. You did the right thing. And it's so comforting to hear that you'll write more for Jake in the future. I. CANNOT. WAIT. FOR. THIS. 🤍🌙

Lots of love and hugs and kisses,

-- 🌻

hiya again sunnie love 🌻🧡

ahhhdjk thank you for that 😭 it’s not that i cared for oscar until moon knight was released, i just really never came across any of his works before ;_; but it’s gonna be so fun going through everything he’s been in and having it documented here lolol. y’all can watch me in real time grow even more obsessive over him heheh!!

omgkf jake fic 😳 im so excited to share this new one with you all skksksk it’s like 75% done and i woke up early just to work on it and have it up by today so it’s still coming but a little bit later than the time i usually post fics oops.

okidoke see ya again my beautiful sunnie!! hope you’re having an amazing day :)