#usually i do like 2-3 weeks after something ends. depending on like length and if i specifically know

[lunar-fey]

sorry in advance for the person i will become when missing link comes out. btw

[vinceaddams]

Any tips on learning to make buttonholes? I've been putting it off for.... *checks notes* like three years.... but better late than never and all that. I don't have any fancy machines so I gotta do it by hand but that seems right up your alley.

Thanks!

It IS up my alley, yes, I do most of my buttonholes by hand!

I'm actually part way through filming an 18th century buttonhole tutorial, but I expect it'll be a few more weeks before I finish that and put it on the youtubes, so in the meantime here's the very very short version. (The long version is looking like it'll probably be about 40 minutes maybe, judging by how much script I've written compared to my last video?)

Mark your line, a bit longer than your button is wide. I usually use a graphite mechanical pencil on light fabrics, and a light coloured pencil crayon on dark ones. (I have fabric pencils too, but they're much softer and leave a thicker line.) You may want to baste the layers together around all the marked buttonholes if you're working on something big and the layers are shifty and slippery. I'm not basting here because this is just a pants placket.

Do a little running stitch (or perhaps a running backstitch) in fine thread around the line at the width you want the finished buttonhole to be. This holds the layers of fabric together and acts as a nice little guide for when you do the buttonhole stitches.

Cut along the marked line using a buttonhole cutter, or a woodworking chisel. Glossy magazines are the best surface to put underneath your work as you push down, and you can give it a little tap with a rubber mallet if it's not going through all the way.

I'm aware that there are some people who cut their buttonholes open using seam rippers, and if any of them are reading this please know that that is abhorrent behaviour and I need you to stop it immediately. Stop it.

Go get a buttonhole cutter for 10 bucks and your life will be better for it. Or go to the nearest hardware store and get a little woodworking chisel. This includes machine buttonholes, use the buttonhole cutter on them too. If you continue to cut open buttonholes with a seam ripper after reading this you are personally responsible for at least 3 of the grey hairs on my head.

Do a whipstitch around the cut edges, to help prevent fraying while you work and to keep all those threads out of the way. (For my everyday shirts I usually do a machine buttonhole instead of this step, and then just hand stitch over it, because it's a bit faster and a lot sturdier on the thin fabrics.)

I like to mark out my button locations at this point, because I can mark them through the holes without the buttonhole stitches getting in the way.

For the actual buttonhole stitches it's really nice if you have silk buttonhole twist, but I usually use those little balls of DMC cotton pearl/perle because it's cheap and a good weight. NOT stranded embroidery floss, no separate strands! It's got to be one smooth twisted thing!

Here's a comparison pic between silk buttonhole twist (left) and cotton pearl (right). Both can make nice looking buttonholes, but the silk is a bit nicer to work with and the knots line up more smoothly.

I've actually only used the silk for one garment ever, but am going to try to do it more often on my nicer things. I find the cotton holds up well enough to daily wear though, despite being not ideal. The buttonholes are never the first part of my garments to wear out.

I cut a piece of about one arm's length more or less, depending on the size of buttonhole. For any hole longer than about 4cm I use 2 threads, one to do each side, because the end gets very frayed and scruffy by the time you've put it through the fabric that many times.

I wax about 2cm of the tip (Not the entire thread. I wax the outlining/overcasting thread but not the buttonhole thread itself.) to make it stick in the fabric better when I start off the thread. I don't tend to tie it, I just do a couple of stabstitches or backstitches and it holds well. (I'm generally very thorough with tying off my threads when it comes to hand sewing, but a buttonhole is basically a long row of knots, so it's pretty sturdy.)

Put the needle through underneath, with the tip coming up right along that little outline you sewed earlier. And I personally like to take the ends that are already in my hand and wrap them around the tip of the needle like so, but a lot of people loop the other end up around the other way, so here's a link to a buttonhole video with that method. Try both and see which one you prefer, the resulting knot is the same either way.

Sometimes I can pull the thread from the end near the needle and have the stitch look nice, but often I grab it closer to the base and give it a little wiggle to nestle it into place. This is more necessary with the cotton than it is with the silk.

The knot should be on top of the cut edge of the fabric, not in front of it.

You can put your stitches further apart than I do if you want, they'll still work if they've got little gaps in between them.

Keep going up that edge and when you get to the end you can either flip immediately to the other side and start back down again, or you can do a bar tack. (You can also fan out the stitches around the end if you want, but I don't like to anymore because I think the rectangular ends look nicer.)

Here's a bar tack vs. no bar tack sample. They just make it look more sharp, and they reinforce the ends.

For a bar tack do a few long stitches across the entire end.

And then do buttonhole stitches on top of those long stitches. I also like to snag a tiny bit of the fabric underneath.

Then stick the needle down into the fabric right where you ended that last stitch on the corner of the bar tack, so you don't pull that corner out of shape, and then just go back to making buttonhole stitches down the other side.

Then do the second bar tack once you get back to the end.

To finish off my thread I make it sticky with a bit more beeswax, waxing it as close to the fabric as I can get, and then bring it through to the back and pull it underneath the stitches down one side and trim it off.

In my experience it stays put perfectly well this way without tying it off.

Voila! An beautiful buttonholes!

If you want keyhole ones you can clip or punch a little rounded bit at one end of the cut and fan your stitches out around that and only do the bar tack at one end, like I did on my 1830's dressing gown.

(I won't do that style in my video though, because they're not 18th century.)

Do samples before doing them on a garment! Do as many practice ones as you need to, it takes a while for them to get good! Mine did not look this nice 10 years ago.

Your first one will probably look pretty bad, but your hundredth will be much better!

Edit: Video finished!

And here's the blog post, which is mostly a slightly longer version of this post.

[oneknightstand-if]

Fencing Club Route is a Go!

Update 2: Chapter 1 Part 3 - Fencing Club Route

Don't feel like playing polo? Join the fencing club instead!

Play the Updated Beta Test

(Since there were bugs reported throughout Chapter 1 & 2, your current saves are probably going to reset to the beginning of each section of the game)

*If you're getting error messages or the fencing club route isn't showing up properly for you (after you refreshed and restarted the game), you'll need to clear your cache. More details found here.*

Additional Word Count (Sans Code): 120,000+ Additional Word Count (With Code): 155,000+ New Total Word Count (Sans Code): 614,000+ New Total Word Count (With Code): 833,000+ Average Playthrough: ~60,000 words

Note: You can view the game code on my site the same way you do on Dashingdon just add /scenes to the end of the URL.

Next Update

Merlin's Guide to Minor Enemies

A bucketload of owed texts & e-mails to the MC

Decisions of great import... just where are you sleeping in that motorhome?

A̴ ̴C̴o̶m̴p̷l̷e̵t̷e̴l̴y̵ ̶N̴o̷r̸m̴a̶l̵ ̵G̴a̴s̸ ̶S̵t̵a̷t̷i̶o̷n̸ ̵S̴t̸o̷p̷

Take part in your first multi-user spell! (Potentially depending on the length of the gas station stop?)

Meet the next Harbinger - RO #4 (Potentially depending on the length of the gas station stop?)

Link to New Polls on the Update (Which don't auto close in a week like the Tumblr ones)

Also...

I'm currently coming down with something (Covid test says not that, so maybe just the flu?) so I'll be taking a bit of a break after this.

More (Fiddly) Info on the Update Behind the Spoiler Cut...

The Update Also Includes...

Calmly letting Merlin into your apartment after escaping the monster-under-the-bed no longer removes the mute flag

Fixed Adrian literally calling the MC as "MC" in the pub

Fixed expresso back to espresso AGAIN *stares at it*

Fixed the phil_status 2 bug AGAIN (Somehow I must've reverted a bunch of bug fixes in Chapter 1)

Fixed bug where MC's name permanently changes to their pseudonym if the player tried to back out of the renaming screen

Fixed the "On second thought, let me try a different fake first name…" option so it only asks the player to change their fake first name (as originally intended)

Fixed some dialogue with Adrian depending upon your clothing choices in the polo club branch

Fixed the Adrian text messaging bug. Again. Hopefully third time is the charm.

Fixed bug where your current job being your dream employment wasn't triggering the positive job attitude flavor text

Fixed bug where the mute flag was being toggled off when interacting with Adrian regarding your fancy outfit before the polo club meeting

Choice where Lucid Dreamer MC talks to Modern Arthur about Merlin's dreamwalking advice is now set to toggle only when the MC speaks to Merlin in the Camelot dream sequence

Fixed bug with the user's input option for Business Casual outfit

User's choice option for Business Casual & Business Suit now toggles pants or skirt variable

Fixed bug with the Cracking text effect in darkmode

All piercings & scars now available in one choice during customization.

Fixed bug (AGAIN!) when Lucky MC fails the luck check to escape the bed monster

Added reactions to Camelot-affiliated names belonging to inanimate objects.

Fixed *set ag2 2 -1 bug in Camelot dream sequence (I wonder how that didn't trigger QuickTest)

A Bit More Info on the Update Mechanics

The decision on which club you join is one of the first questions in Chapter 1, so players will have to restart from pretty early on. However the fencing club flavor text will continue to run throughout the rest of the game (including in the Camelot dream sequence with the Courtyard branch for the Lucid Dreamer MC).

Otherwise this current update does not progress the game further into Chapter 2.

Also Part 2....

We lost power to part of the house (thankfully not including my computer), and while I'm usually the one who deals with the circuit breakers, since I'm currently sick I asked my mother to do it this one time. She turned the power off to the entire house. 🥲 The uninterruptible power source did nothing and now my computer and the microwave are bugging out. I'm just going to lie down now.

[spacemancharisma]

Hey you said feel free to ask hygiene questions. How often should you be doing stuff? Like showering, washing hair, washing bedding? Washing re-wearable clothing like jeans or jackets or bras that I think you can wear multiple times without needing to wash?

Idk other esp hygiene or cleaning activities that you need to do sometimes.

Like they tell you brush your teeth twice a day but not how often you need to wash other things.

yeah this is a really good question! I’m putting it under the cut since it got p long lol

so showering is ideally every day, but that can be difficult for some people, so as close to that as you can manage is good. if you have days that it’s too much, wiping down with a rag or a baby wipe is good. be sure to thoroughly clean your genitals/butthole every night before bed, just for your health. on baby wipe days, i get that whole zone really clean, and also my armpits, feet, and anywhere my skin folds over bc sweat tends to trap there. wash your face well at least once a day (I do it in the shower) and if you’re up to it, give it a good scrub with just water at the other end of the day. there’s no hygiene gain or loss from shaving any part of your body, so do that as much or little as is your preference. I put on deodorant at least twice a day (when I wake up & after I shower), or whenever I’m feeling sweaty/stinky.

washing your hair really depends on its length and texture and I can only speak to white person hair care, but as far as that goes- I have thick, curly hair, and I wash it every 2-3 days. people with greasier hair tend to wash it more often. like with most things, a good test is to wash whenever it starts to have a smell, or more frequently than that lol. comb your hair out when you wash it to keep it from getting matted. people with straight hair brush it dry, too, but that isn’t something I do personally.

clothes go by the smell principle too, mostly. shirts can get two or three wears unless they’re sweaty/stained/stinky. pants made of a thick material can usually last a week, though some people stretch their jeans out even more if they’re good material. again- if it starts to have a smell, put it in the laundry. bras are also good for a week or so at a time as long as they’re not stinky. jackets and stuff go by the same principle, and they last a long time usually, since they don’t touch your skin directly. underwear should be changed at least once a day and not reworn, same with socks.

washcloths should only be used once, but bath towels can get two or three uses. hand towels should be switched/washed about once a week.

people tell you to change/wash your bedsheets once a week but I don’t know anyone who does that lmao. changing your sheets every two weeks or so is usually good; you might want to do so more frequently though if you’re sick or eating in bed or having a lot of sex or something hfbggjg

like you said, brushing your teeth is standard once in the morning and once at night. if you want to do a bonus one halfway through the day, that’s probably good for you, but most people don’t. brush your tongue when you brush your teeth- it only takes a couple seconds and it does a lot apparently. get a new toothbrush at least every 6 months, if not more often.

body chores: clip your finger/toenails as often as works best for you. I can’t stand having long nails so I trim them once a week, but that would obvs be different if you like long nails. floss as often as you can, but don’t feel bad if you’re not consistent- very few people are. put lotion on your body if your skin gets dry- I recommend aveeno, it’s not greasy and it works really well. if you have sex toys, clean them before and after every use (it’s a pain but you do Not want to fuck with any kind of germs down there).

household chores: clean toilet- once a week. clean bathroom sinks/tub: once a month (clean mirrors while you’re at it). empty trash cans- once a week. clean kitchen counters- every time you cook. clean stovetop- once a week. dust- once a month but this one’s kinda optional lmao. laundry- before you run out of clean clothes/towels. dishes- before you run out of clean dishes. floors- my family vacuumed/swept once a week growing up but as an adult I just kinda follow my heart here lol. change pet litter- at least once a week.

health: you’re supposed to see your GP once a year for a regular health check, and that’s good to get blood work done to make sure your hormones and such are all balanced, but it’s okay if you don’t keep a super strict schedule with that. dentists you really should see once every 6 months, or at least once a year. if you have a uterus, get a pap smear done every 5 years. get checked for STIs with each new partner, or once a year. keep track of your period if you have one so you know if there are irregularities; change tampons/pads as needed, you know best, but remember to never sleep with a tampon in. give yourself a breast self-exam at least once every few months, if applicable. drink water consistently throughout the day, listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry, try to have at least one fruit or vegetable a day (doesn’t have to be whole/raw, just get those nutrients where you can). the average number of times in a day to pee is apparently 6-7, but I’d say anywhere from 5-10 is normal, idk I’m not a pee expert. either way, stay aware of your body and it’s needs and don’t hold your pee if you have literally any other options- your kidneys are important and that hurts them. you should poop 1-2 times a day, not accounting for any health conditions that might change that. do your best to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, and get your body in motion for at least 30 minutes a day- this could be a gentle walk or even doing household chores, the important thing is to keep your muscles and joints flexible. do some basic stretches once a day.

and some closing remarks- I’m really proud of you for reaching out to ask, cause I know it can be really hard to talk about this stuff. there’s absolutely no shame in ignorance, and similarly, there is no shame in being dirty/smelly. as humans, we tend to keep ourselves and our surroundings clean because it’s better for our health and our sensory experience, and it makes us more pleasant for others to be around, but it’s important to remember that none of this is a moral imperative. I grew up in a house that made it seem like you were a bad person if you were dirty or you smelled like BO, and that’s not a healthy or accurate approach to things. keeping proper hygiene when you can is important, but because it makes your life more pleasant to live, not because it’s a sin or a slight to do otherwise. just do your best to take care of yourself, and you’re doing great 💜

[ryathenaughtykitsune]

Name / Alias : Rya, K, Kyra, Kanrya (she/her)

Are you over 18? : Yes / No

  – W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only). --

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? :No / Yes 

I did most of my Rping on forums connected to different animes and fandomless ones as well. Before moving to tumblr i was on a fairytail forum, but due to someone making me lose all taste i changed to here where it was easier. I do rp on Discord as well (and i D&D there too)

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

(would prefer to be asked privately)

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? : I would prefer to talk about it first before anything. its more a pet peeve, but I HATE when people god mode or take over my character or act like they are invincible or are perfect.)

  – S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only / Yes (just ask. Dont push anything please)

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes (anything involving characters that are minors)

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively / Yes (It depends on how i feel honestly)

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (i mean, i ship her with Lucci. You should see the hell pranks she pull on him at times. The can work to be a good team but also its one of the most toxic relationships she has. also beware the chomps. we go cat mode )

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (as long as it does not involve pedo I'm all in)

Are you open to polyamory shipping? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (she had a polyamorous with Thatch and Izo. Foxes gotta fox babe XD)

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes (it depends in all honesty, if i feel something, more power to it, there has to be chemistry.)

Does crack shipping ever happen? : Nope / Yes / depends (none until now, but bring it on)

Tagged by: @harpershigh

tagging: @sarcasticmercy, @midnightactual, @seaoftales, @fallesto, @burikubato, @kaizokugaris, @dick-meister, @heroic-endeavors, @herztakt and anyone else

[prince-liest]

Hello! Since I’m binge reading all of your Genshin fanfics I wanted to ask how would you describe your experience contributing to zines? I’m considering it and wanted to ask someone who’s done this before. Is the process fun? Stressful? Both? I’d assume writing with a deadline is not easy! When did you first start? Don’t spare details please, tell me everything about your experience! I have minimal knowledge on the topic

Hey, there! I'm glad you're enjoying my Genshin works!! And of course, I've been in about three fucktillion zines by now so I'd be happy to talk about what it's like! Long post under the cut:

Not all zines are the same but most of them follow approximately the same outline of expectations for you as a contributor, which is:

After you've applied and been accepted, you're sent an acceptance email with a link to the zine server.

You join the server, and after a few days for everyone to trickle in, the mods will post a spreadsheet or a google form where you can submit 2-3 pitches, aka. ideas of what you think you could write for the zine, which should be reasonably different from one another. The reason for having 2-3 is so that not everyone ends up writing the same thing. I prefer when zines give spreadsheets rather than google forms so that I can see what other writers are pitching and make sure I'm not submitting something samey. There will likely be guidelines for what you can pitch (limitations on characters, ships, rating, etc).

(Optional) Some zines do author/artist collabs, and this is usually the time period during which folks figure out if they'd like to collab, and if so, with whom.

After a week or so, you are told which of your pitches you will be writing for the zine.

Creation period! Now you write a fic based on your pitch, usually 2-3k words in length depending on the zine. There's usually 3-4 check-ins scattered throughout the several month period that you get to write during, when the mods basically want to see how far you've gotten to make sure you're making progress. Sometimes you have the option of asking for feedback, but often the writing mod isn't going to be doing that until your final piece is submitted.

At the end of the creation period, you submit your final piece, usually with some formatting stuff like "highlight every time you use italics so the formatting mod can see it." The writing mod will beta it, toss it back to you so you can accept edits, and then that will be the final version in the zine. Voila!

Everything after that is just you waiting for preorders and production. Other stuff that will probably happen at some point includes submitting a snippet for the graphics mod to make a little preview graphic of your piece, and reblogging/retweeting zine stuff during preorders to promote sales.

To answer your more specific questions:

I started in late 2020 when I applied to a Hawks-centric My Hero Academia zine at the same time that I was invited to a My Hero Academia and Harry Potter crossover zine, both of which were an amazing experience. I find that the deadline is really not a source of stress, because you get several months to write 2-3k words and each check-in is only asking for a little bit of progress. My first check-in, for example, is pretty much always just the outline. That said, I'm not really applying to zines anymore (unless something exactly up the alley of my current hyperfixation pops up, which at the time of writing would be a Hazbin Hotel or radiostatic zine, haha) for a few different reasons.

Firstly, I've legitimately been in four dozen zines. I've scratched the itch, haha.

Secondly, particularly in the Genshin Impact space, the zine craze caught on so aggressively that the average quality of zine mod teams declined pretty sharply. There are a number of zine mods that I really trust, and I've been in some phenomenally run zines, but I'm also just kind of tired of the physical production period of a zine taking a year or longer when I know it can be done in like three months. Not to mention the number of times people in the zine space have straight up absconded with money.

Thirdly and most importantly, the actual part of zine writing that I don't enjoy very much anymore is the limitations put on my writing. It's an inherent and understandable part of the process that a fic has to be within a specific word count and topic, but I also have just hit the point where I personally want to write whatever the hell I want without coming up with three separate fic concepts and hoping that the one I actually feel passionate about is chosen - not to mention I've actually ducked out of zines before when the mods were so nitpicky about what they wanted me to write that it felt less like I was a guest writer invited to create something of my own, and more like they were looking for a cheap way to basically custom commission writing from me. And I've also noticed that the pickier the mods are about my writing, the less I end up liking what I create. There's actually three zine fics, now, that I'm never going to publish because I just don't think they turned out very good, and they are all from zines where I felt my writing got micromanaged.

All of that said, I'm basically highlighting the small number of things I disliked out of, again, four dozen zines, so I really encourage you to go for it! A well-run zine is a blast to be a part of, and my favorites have always been ones where it is clearly a labor of love and genuine interest.

Here are some tips when choosing a zine to apply to:

Look at the mods and their pages, and look for mods that have completed zines in the past, but aren't currently part of 4+ incomplete projects. For mods, you want experience, but you don't want someone who's just jumping into every single project they see.

Every P4P zine I've been a part of has been fucking amazing so far. These only get made in certain fandoms, though (mostly danmei). I'm sure they're not all perfect (there's one I know that's a little sketchy), but I think the lack of promise of profit attracts people genuinely invested in the project itself rather than money or clout or whatever.

Pick a zine that you know you will enjoy writing about the subject of. Don't apply to something because you like the character it's about, but you don't actually really know what you'd write for it.

Make sure they have a reasonably large number of followers on Twitter and appealing graphics. This speaks to a couple of things: 1) how well the zine is likely to sell and 2) how well the social media and other mods actually know what they're doing in terms of promo. If a zine has less than several hundred followers and they want to put out a physical copy, I would personally hesitate, because there's a good chance they won't break even on sales. Especially in the Genshin Impact fandom specifically.

Hopefully that was helpful! If you have any more specific questions, feel free to throw them my way.

[avocado-frog]

Happy STS! (Shh, I'm a day behind.) And because of that, today's a free space! Use it to ramble as you please! ♥️

As I say on the sts asks that I sometimes answer a day late, the S in sts stands for Sunday :)

The other day I deleted like five chapters (i had only WRITTEN one, but there were five outlined) because the arc was Too hard to write so I changed my mind. Now my outline + schedule are off so I've been adjusting that. The good news is that I don't have a chapter count of 55 anymore.

This is going to accidentally be the Here's How I Outline ask but that's okay I got a free space + I can do whatever I want

SO my step one is that i have a document for my basic outlines which include the character POV(s), chapter title, word count, and a few sentences, with a few more details. I do this part all in one go. Once I have an idea of how many chapters I'm going to have, I try and make it a number divisible by three (30 in forget me not, 21 in dahlia) (rosemary has five parts because I rolled a negative in Planning Ahead skills and had 11 characters instead of 12) so now that I have the parts divided I attach a character to it. I usually already have a flower in mind to attach to the character as well. I write my fun little flower paragraphs here :)

Step two is when I add all the chapters for part 1 (or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 etc) with the Basic Outline. This is where I make my Real Outline for each chapter. I usually do this part in one go as well, or at least until I get bored. The Real Outline includes specific details, bits of dialogue that I want to remember, and stuff like that. I like to have this at a ratio depending on the word count I already assigned the chapter. If I want the word count to be 5,000, then the Real Outline is 500 words long. I'd explain my Ratio if I was good at explaining math concepts. but I'm not.

Step three is Draft 1. I do this part as if I am making a Guy. Draft one is Skeleton. Part 1 is the aforementioned Make the Outline a Certain Length. Part 2 is when I start writing the chapter, deleting parts of the outline as I write them until I have no outline left

Step four is when I put the recently outlined chapters on my Big Timeline that has everything on it- including character birth dates, dates of chapters, things included in dated flashback scenes, etc. Basically everything that I need to keep consistent/so that I don't have to go through 50 chapters to see how long ago something was. It's very helpful I strongly recommend having a Big TImeline actually. If anyone ever asks what my writing advice is it'd be to have a Big Timeline

Step five is Draft 2!!! This is where things have a tendency to get a little bit messy for me because I'm not bound by the laws of writing chapters in order anymore and the chapters that I like will probably be finished faster. Draft 2 is what I consider the Meat of my guy that I am creating. Draft 2 part 3 is where I add to each chapter to complete the Word Goal (unless I really just do not want to, or if it's close enough/don't have anything to add) (this step is optional) and Draft 2 part 4 is when I consider the chapter mostly done. This is where I just reread it and make sure everything is in order. I tend to skip this one too because I reread chapters when I'm editing anyway

Step six is my editing step. I don't know why I keep my editing checklist on a whole different thing but I Do. I'm actually going to move it right now really quick. Editing: 1st read through: italicize/mark with "/" (i post on ao3 sometimes and it doesn't automatically italicize) 2nd read through: check for spelling errors/maybe add or delete sentences 3rd read through: look for trigger warnings and write them down somewhere 4th read through: inconsistencies (write down the things that need to be consistent) check timeline if needed (3rd and 4th usually end up getting combined) 5th read through: read again

After I've waited a week, I repeat the 2nd and 5th part of the editing, and THEN the chapter is done and I have created a Guy.

Here's how they're differentiated:

I might've made that more complicated than it needed to be but it makes sense to me lol. Obviously this doesn't work for everyone and etc

[historias-multorum]

Name / Alias: Ghost

Are you over 18? yes / no

|| WRITING. ||

-Are you selective about who you write with? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

-Are you selective about who you follow? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

-If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable / Depends on the muse

-What post lengths do you write? One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

-Do you use icons and/or GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

-Do you write on other platforms? No / Yes

-What level of plots do you write? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned.

-How quickly do you usually respond to threads? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

-What types of themes do you like? Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned.

|| WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? || ( Feel free to add!)

High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

-Are there any themes you're uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

-Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? Yes, generally, if there is something I am triggered by or uncomfortable with, I will ask the person to tag it so the blacklist can do its job.

|| SHIPPING. ||

-What types of relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

-What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

-Do you have OTPs? No / Chemistry Only / Yes

-Do you have NOTPS? No / Yes

-What is your muse's sexual orientation? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you're asking.

-What is your muse's romantic orientation? Heteroromantic/ Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you're asking.

-Are you comfortable writing smut? No / Selectively / Yes

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never / Depends on how well the characters/muns vibe

-Are you open to toxic ships? No / Selectively / Yes

-Are you open to problematic ships? No / Selectively / Yes

-Are you open to polyshipping? No / Selectively / Yes /

-Are you an exclusive shipper? Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

-Does crack shipping ever happen? Nope / Yes / Depends

tagged by: @imaginarianisms💓 tagging: @hehosts @sheblomd @super-kame-love @thetoaddaddy @musesofchaos and anyone who wants to give it a go!

[loyalpromise]

Name / Alias: ande

Are you over 18? yes / no

|| WRITING. ||

-Are you selective about who you write with? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

-Are you selective about who you follow? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

-If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable / Depends on the muse

-What post lengths do you write? One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

-Do you use icons and/or GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

-Do you write on other platforms? No / Yes

-What level of plots do you write? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned.

-How quickly do you usually respond to threads? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

-What types of themes do you like? Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned.

|| WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? || ( Feel free to add!)

High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

-Are there any themes you're uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

-Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? they aren't necessarily triggers, per se, but they're squicks that i'd still like tagged and a lot of it is your basic shit of like, clowns, needles, etc. but i'd rather anything dealing with abuse or something super gory be tagged. the usual 'tw ___' is fine.

|| SHIPPING. ||

-What types of relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

-What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

-Do you have OTPs? No / Chemistry Only / Yes

-Do you have NOTPS? No / Yes

-What is your muse's sexual orientation? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you're asking.

-What is your muse's romantic orientation? Heteroromantic/ Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you're asking.

-Are you comfortable writing smut? No / Selectively / Yes

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never / Depends on how well the characters/muns vibe

-Are you open to toxic ships? No / Selectively / Yes

-Are you open to problematic ships? No / Selectively / Yes

-Are you open to polyshipping? No / Selectively / Yes /

-Are you an exclusive shipper? Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

-Does crack shipping ever happen? Nope / Yes / Depends

tagged by: stole it lol tagging: anyone who wants to do this

[ask-experiment-1006-theprototype]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

-----------------------------------------------------

Name / Alias: Drakon

Are you over 18? Yes / No (21+)

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

What post lengths do you write? One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? No / Yes (Primarily write on Tumblr, used to write on Facebook a long while back but haven't touched it and don't really plan to. Discord is another platform I am willing to write on but also plot and just hang out. Like tumblr. )

What level of plots do you write? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) / (Truthfully it depends on how strong the muse is. He's finnicky but also always present. )

What types of themes do you like? Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst/ Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes (Mainly not being certain about certain things and being anxious at first. Once I get a hang of things I'm fine.)

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? I don't have any triggers.

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? No / Chemistry Only / Yes

Do you have NOTPS? No / Yes.

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking .

Are you comfortable writing smut? No / VERY Selectively / Yes (Very unlikely considering the nature of the characters. Plus in general it's something that makes me iffy at times.)

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never / ???? If it happens it happens

Are you open to toxic ships? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to problematic ships? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to polyshipping? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you an exclusive shipper? Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

Does crack shipping ever happen? Nope / Yes / depends

Tagged by: @viviskull Tagging: Whoever wants to do it.

[anderwhohn]

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! feel free to add any of your answers! the purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! for multiple choice ones, 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 all that apply and, if you want, 𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒛𝒆 if it's a conditional answer!

~ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 ~

NAME : Lexi

ARE YOU OVER 18? : yes / no .

IS YOUR MUSE? : yes / no .

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no (anyone) / semi (most people) / yes / highly / private (mutuals only) (while I am mutuals only, I'm generally open to writing with most people, as long as our rules don't clash and our writing styles mesh)

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly (i pick and choose from source material) / strictly / ( oc ) I write my own canon. (I take plenty of creative liberties even with the most close-to-canon muses, but canon is just a toybox to play in regardless - there are no set rules)

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one liners / single-para / multi-para / novella (I tend to get wordy af, especially if expositioning and/or the muse is introspecting, but strictly one liners & single para is hard for me to keep my attention on, so it's very brief if it happens at all)

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? : no / gifs / icons / gif icons (i sometimes might still use icons if I have them readily available for that muse, but I don't worry about it anymore because I don't have the spoons to keep making them all the time)

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes (I only am open to writing on discord with very specific people.)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted / open ended plots / semi-plotted / fully-plotted epics

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow (more than a month) / slow (3-4 weeks) / average (1-2 weeks) / fast (less than one week) / very fast (less than three days) 

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add ) : fluff / angst / smut  / action / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational  / hurt-comfort.

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add) : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? (not triggers) : yes / no (I'm sure everyone has something they are uncomfortable writing. I will simply say no politely if something like that ever comes up. I'm fine with most heavy/dark themes.)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : yes / no

HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? : The common ones that most people tag anyway are listed in my rules. Highly specific ones, I mostly rely on the content filtering, despite potential false positives.

~ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 ~

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic  / platonic / familial  / physical / sexual

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual / depends on the partner & muse (those who want pre-established things should fill out my Ships & Dynamics form, so I have a better idea what you're thinking (preferably also using the text fields to elaborate if it's something very specific you have in mind))

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry only / yes (ship biases are listed for most muses in their dossiers, but I only ship with chemistry, so any potential ships will only happen after we've established a connection between the muses - unless you're Havu, Orion, Ashley, Pops, or Middy, because reasons)

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? no / yes / I don't know (they're listed in my rules, as are the 'enough-tps' for ships I'm just into without some phenomenal levels of chemistry between our muses)

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / selectively / yes (I only write it with muns whom I'm comfortable with, so we have to have been writing together for a while before it'll even become a possibility)

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple ic interactions / several ic interactions / slow burn / depends on partner & muse (usually several interactions and/or slow burn, except for the above mentioned muns)

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it (extremely selective with doing so)

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) : no / selectively / yes (so long as the muses are 18+, with plotting behind the scenes, maybe but I'd be highly selective about it, and certain things like noncon/dubcon are right off the table)

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no / selectively / yes

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes (Crowley exclusively ships with one particular Aziraphale in the Good Omens verses, but is open to crossover shipping; other muses may vary as things develop)

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / sometimes / yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends (quite a bit, actually, given how I write a lot of crossovers)

Tagged by stolen from: @dutyworn Tagging: be gay, do crime

[tricoloredillusion]

BASICS

NAME : Dev/Neo

ARE YOU OVER 18? : yes (became 30 this month!) / no

IS YOUR MUSE? : yes (unless I write flashbacks of a younger version, she's an adult by default) / no

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi ( most people ) / yes / highly / private

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi / yes / highly

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly / strictly / i sometimes change events or add to what happens. (altered timelines only)

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one-liners / single - para / multi - para / novella

DO YOU USE ICONS AND / OR GIFS? : no (sometimes) / gifs / icons / gif icons

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes (Twitter)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted (rare) / open-ended plots / semi - plotted / fully plotted epics

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow ( more than a month ) / slow ( 3 - 4 weeks ) / average ( 1 - 2 weeks ) / fast ( less than one week ) / very fast ( less than three days )

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? : fluff / angst / smut (selectively) / action (even if I suck at fighting scenes tho) / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational (hah) / hurt - comfort

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? : no / yes (but rarely, if something doesn't strike my fancy I'll say)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : no / yes (not a necessity to point them out! I'll be fine, I know how to take care of myself lol)

HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT BE TAGGED? : Not needed!

SHIPPING

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical (idk what the difference with sexual is with this one so-) / sexual / queerplatonic

WHAT TYPES OF PRE - ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual (I very much prefer to develop stuff with interactions, unless it's a canon muse that Neo knows already)

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry / yes (it's Spicecream, Neo x Cinder)

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? : no / yes (my Neo with any men) / i don’t know

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / selectively / yes

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple IC interactions / several IC interactions / slow burn / depends on partner & muse (I'm a lil picky for these)

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / i don't know (I mean, Spicecream already enters the toxic label for the major part so I DUNNO)

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no (Neo has problems holding 1 relationship, she ain't getting into polyamory anytime soon LMAO) / selectively / yes

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no?? i d k/ sometimes / yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends

I stole this >:)

[marionmaverick]

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 –

NAME : Jase

ARE YOU OVER 18? :   yes / no

IS YOUR MUSE? : yes / no (marion a teen, Hebe adult, Ardyn adult with some kid verses)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi ( most people ) / yes / highly / private ( mutuals only )  

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi / yes / highly

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly / strictly / ( OC ) / sometimes change events or add to what happens / - vague handgestures -

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one-liners / single - para / multi - para / novella

DO YOU USE ICONS AND / OR GIFS? : no / gifs / icons / gif icons

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes (up for discord but haven’t done it)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted / open-ended plots / semi - plotted / fully plotted epics

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow ( more than a month ) / slow ( 3 - 4 weeks ) / average ( 1 - 2 weeks ) / fast ( less than one week ) / very fast ( less than three days )

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? : fluff / angst / smut / action / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational / hurt - comfort

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? :   no / yes (brain washing and lobotomy adjacent things.If someone is irreversibly changed I get stressed)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : no / yes

HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT BE TAGGED? : no tags needed yet, but I’d usually just go with something simple and easy to remember.

– 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual / queerplatonic

WHAT TYPES OF PRE - ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry / yes

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? : no / yes  / i don’t know

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / selectively / yes

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple IC interactions / several IC interactions / slow burn / depends on partner & muse

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? : no  / selectively / yes / i don't know

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no  / selectively / yes

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / sometimes / yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends

Tagged by: @pcndaemonium  (Thanks so much for tagging!)

Tagging:  @lightwithinthenightsky, @grumpyascianteddybear, @princessofmuses

[skimblyshanks]

Trans tape can work....but at least in my experience there is a long (ongoing) learning curve on how to best apply it, and in my case that has included. A lot of blisters from pulling skin too tight, and if ppl have sensory issues I can see that being a big problem; it's not great for me, I typically have to alternate weekly between tape and binders.

And, again, there is definitely a learning curve. For sure watch the application videos, but also be aware you'll have to change strip lengths if ur large chested like me (they recommend strips that are 3 sections long; I have to have it 4 sections long), and also nipple guards are gonna have to be self measured and made.

It's also an Investment, to be sure. If ur like me and usually have to recut and reapply several strips of tape, then rolls are gonna go away fast; I'm currently on a 2 boxes every 4 weeks (more like 6-8 weeks for me, love international shipping) subscription, though you can also buy it in bulk. (Also. Big chested folks. 5" option is the one for you.)

Tape application is also like. Frustratingly hard to get right. If you have too many wrinkles in your tape, you'll probably irritate your skin. And there will be wrinkles. It's also hard to handle the tape as you work; it is a strong adhesive, will absolutely stick to itself, and once it's made a first stick on the wrong thing, that strip is useless. This makes it Hard if your body is already wide across; I continue to have blisters and skin issues, and just applying tape generally means I end up straining my shoulders and upper arm muscles.

Another factor for both financial and sensory consideration is oil. So, transtape sell their own removal oil. You don't need to buy theirs, but you do need to have some kind of skin-safe oil to break the adhesion. If you try to peel it off without oil, you're going to damage your skin, and you're also going to have (even more) lingering residue.

Tape application and Tape removal both need a steady chunk of time set aside, in my experience, especially removal; see above. Which also means that. If you're going to wear and remove transtape. Removal means you're gonna have to get your hands and chest quite lathered up.

It's also recommended to only wear a set of tape for 5 days, max. And then it's gonna be a day for removal. And then it's gonna be another day or 2 after that to let your skin get recover + to shower and clean yourself off. Then a day to re-apply.

I like transtape. It allows me to do more active stuff than I feel safe to do in a binder, and I don't have to constantly fix my positioning like I do in a binder.

It's also absolutely not something I'd recommend to just anyone. I don't think it's perfect, but I don't think it's awful; it's one binding method of others, and it all depends on your own comfort levels.

so i tried a binder at one point and I'm pretty sure it was too small (a friend ordered it for me as a gift and the measurements she had were a bit old from a theater thing) but regardless I know that I wont be able to wear one even if its sized correctly because of sensory issues. i was cursed with a large chest as well so idk if trans tape would even work?

hear me out: i think binders are a bit too over romanticized in the community right now... i think it's because is a very, very "Visible" form of transness, which is fine, but i get so many asks about people who can't wear binders for a myriad of reasons and tbh i'm here with you. i'm fat, i have hypermobile joints, and i'm autistic and i hate feeling trapped and pinched.

i'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but i feel you, i really can't stand binders. i have not used trans tape, personally, so could some folks who have weigh in on whether or not it helps folks with large chests? my go-to advice is to try to find a well fitting sports bra with no built in cups, that are flat across the front. if bras cause too much dysphoria, i understand, but i've known a lot of trans guys who are in their 30s who actually have used sports bras their whole lives and swear by them. i actually still use a sports bra sometimes

if anyone else has any other suggestions, feel free to pitch in. i know how hopeless it can make you feel when you have a large chest and you want to bind. some days it's all you can think about, i get that. i think it's fine that you couldn't deal with that binder, it's not the end of the world and not everyone can bind. honestly, those kinds of binders are really only accessible to thinner, able bodied people who don't struggle with certain types of sensory issues. they're only accessible to some, not to all.

take care, i hope you're able to figure something out for the time being.

[myhoneststudyblr]

every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips! 

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point 

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy 

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it 

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook. 

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack! 

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique 

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged. 

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me 

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better. 

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

[acourtofsnakes]

Cabur - Rogue, Chapter 6| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: A few weeks have passed and after landing on a small planet to collect a bounty, you and Mando decide to take a little trip to the market to stock up on some things. Nothing will come up here.. right?

Warnings: Angsty angsty annnnngst, (Sorry, I don’t mean to be so horrible to dear reader), Swearing (mild), brief mentions of death, touching on the same things as chapter 4 but not as heavy but I’ll still add the trigger warnings ♥︎ These chapters will get lighter, I promise,

Not beta read, I wanted to get this one out because I love it so apologies for any mistakes, I’ll be going in to edit a little later

Trigger warnings: Anxiety, horrible thoughts/insults, triggering comments maybe, thoughts of not being able to cope. 

Words: About 6210

AN: Okay, okay, so, I was listening to my Rogue playlist on Spotify (link coming soon) and a certain song came on that just fuelled this chapter. SO, I highly recommend listening to Leave A Light On by Tom Walker if you want the vibes for this chapter. Just… honestly, please do it (I may have had tears)

As always, credit to whoever owns the gif. I usually find them on Google or Pinterest, so message me if it’s yours ♥︎

Rogue Taglist:  @snipskixandbeskar   @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur |

Mando’a translation: Cabur - Protector or Guardian

A few weeks had passed since that night you saved the Mandalorian’s life, since he threw away the bounty puck to keep you safe. 

You’d stayed that night grounded, and then when Mando was able to get up in the morning, he flew you off of that dump of a planet. 

He didn’t ask anymore but how you had managed to save him. Whether he knew you were lying or not, he hadn’t pushed it, choosing instead to respect you. Kind of like how you respected him and his Creed. 

You’d fallen into a sort of routine around the Razor Crest, without either of you realising it. Mando would fly the ship, and you could be found seeing to Grogu and Duru, or tidying things up. Sometimes you would clean the weapons in the cabinet, making sure they stayed in pristine condition. 

Now and then, Mando would head out to get a bounty and when he got back, he would let you help patch him up. You never saw his bare skin, respected that. You would look away or close your eyes, pointing out the best things to use or how to administer them. The man was good at first aid, but his answer to everything was to shove the cauteriser on it. So, when you had been passing through some shops one day, you had stocked up on medical supplies, even found a shop selling the same herbs and plants that your mother had taught you about. 

You’d even been on a few of the hunts with him. 

Of course, you had argued first. When you’d asked him about it one day on the way out of Nevarro, Mando had simply said no. 

Which had immediately riled you. You were not a girl who liked that word. You despised that word. 

Which is how you’d spent the whole night and next two days bickering, over the question of your safety. When he lost that front, (“Seriously, Mando? I’m a fugitive. And after all, I’ve got a big, strong Mandalorian to protect me”) the Mandalorian had moved on to your lack of thinking before throwing yourself into the firefight.

He lost that one too. 

(“Says the man who stole back a child surrounded by Stormtroopers.”

“You’re not coming. End of.”

“Did you want me to bring your pulse rifle over?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“You’re right. Pulse rifle and an extra blaster.”

“I hate you, you know that?”

“Sure you do, Lori. I’ll see you at the ramp.”)

That nickname had slipped out by accident, and he’d regarded you, for a long time. He’d gone still, and you almost swore you heard a hitch of breath through his helmet and then he just nodded and murmured softly, “See you down there.”

There had been a lot of little moments like that but they were so fleeting that you were almost convinced you’d imagined it. You were imagining a lot of things lately. 

Sometimes, when you were walking through forests or towns, you thought you spotted something lingering at the edges of your vision. 

A tall figure, cloaked in a hood that was embroidered in either silver or gold, depending on the light. 

You’d even asked Mando about it a few times, but he hadn’t seen anything so you simply put it down to a trick of the light or sleeplessness, nightmares still plaguing you now and then. 

Regardless of the nightmares and your vision playing tricks on you, you were doing… okay. You were warm, safe, had a comfy place to sleep. You had things to keep you busy, things that weren’t hunting for food or a good spot to hunker down in for the night. 

Duru was happy too, having become fast friends with Grogu and the two of them ran rings around you and the Mandalorian. Well, mainly Mando, which you found hilarious because he was such an exasperated dad with them both. 

It was a rare reprieve from your life, letting you slow down and… live. Rather than survive. 

~~

“I do not talk in my sleep.” 

“Yes, you do!! Sometimes, I think you’re awake but you’re just having a fully-fledged conversation with your blanket.” 

“Oh, shut up. I know I don’t talk in my sleep, tin can. You were probably just having dreams about me again.” You examined the fruit in front of you, then handed over a few credits to the kind vendor, slipping the fruit in your bag. 

The sound of fabric hitting the floor sounded from behind you, and you turned to see that the Mandalorian had dropped the bag you’d made him carry. “I do NOT have dreams about you!” He stooped to pick up the bag, then rose to see you standing with your hands on your hips, eyebrow raised and that damn smirk on your lips. 

“Mmhm, is that why you always have to pull something over your lap when I wake you up?”

He stared at you, and you had the very correct feeling that he was looking at you in mild shock, too caught out to come up with his usual cocky response. “I -you.. That’s completely..”

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes at him and then dropping him a wink, “Come get me when you’ve thought of a response, Lori.” You turned and carried on walking through the market. 

The two of you had stopped off on a nearby trading planet, to gather supplies. Mando had recently secured a bounty with your help and it had paid well, giving you enough extra credits to stock up and treat yourselves. Grogu was already half-way through a packet of blue macarons, which would no doubt come back to bite you both later when he was pelting through the ship whilst you tried to catch him. And it would be your fault because you had taken one look at those big ears and eyes, determined not to break but when the little womp rat had cooed at you… Of course, he had gotten his own way. 

It felt good, to wander a market and not be scrounging for things under the cover of a hooded cloak. You still had one on, you couldn’t bear to part with this item, the most beautiful piece of clothing you had ever had. You just didn’t have the hood up disguising you. 

A gift, from Mando. 

The first time you went out with him after the puck was destroyed, Mandalorian had insisted you wear yours. However, it had been covered in his blood from his injury, and you couldn’t get it out, no matter how hard you had tried. It hadn’t bothered you that much, though you were.. not sad as such, but it felt a little strange because it had been one of your few possessions for so long. But, maybe it was a symbol. That things had changed, and that was in the past. 

A couple of days later, you had just walked into the cockpit when you noticed there was a package on your seat. When you picked it up, it was squishy, bound in a sort of thick papery material and tied with a length of string. 

You’d glanced at the Mandalorian, who was watching you, the picture of calm but his hands had been fiddling with something on his belt, a shockingly nervous gesture you weren’t used to. 

That simple, uncertain gesture had risen your pulse and you unwrapped the package, trying not to show how your hands were shaking at the first gift you’d received since being a child. 

A gift from the Mandalorian. 

Pulling away the paper had revealed a mass of fabric, a blue so deep it was almost the same colour as the night sky. You’d lifted it out and it had unfolded and revealed itself to be a new cloak. The material was soft, thick enough to keep out a biting chill. You’d made a noise of awe and surprise, but had immediately fallen in love with it, pulling it on. It fell to about the middle of your calves and secured at the base of your neck with a small silver clasp. 

The inside was lined with a thin layer of heat-reflective material, and when you’d run a hand over it, Mando had finally broken his silence, “I noticed you were always cold, even if you had layers on so I.. wanted to make sure you weren’t cold anymore..” 

You swore you could almost feel the heat creeping up his neck, and that softened you. He was nervous about giving you this cloak, like he didn’t know how you would take it. 

You had smiled at him, a soft smile that made your eyes glitter like the surrounding stars and placed a hand on his knee lightly, “Thank you, Lori. I adore it, I truly do.” Then you’d spent the next minutes admiring it, putting the hood up and realising it shielded your face in shadow. 

So, naturally, you had moved around the cockpit and upper level like a phantom, pretending to be a shadow in the night. 

You’d even earned yourself a laugh from the great wall of beskar that was fast becoming your friend.  It was only a soft chuckle, just picked up by the vocoder, but all the same, it had lit something within you. 

It still echoed in your ears now. 

A few moments later, the Mandalorian was back at your side, Grogu in his little bag and Duru walking next to him. “The point still stands. I thought I might finally get some silence at night, but you talk just as much.” His raspy voice had a softened edge, one of teasing and you might even have heard the hints of a smile playing at his lips. 

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, “You love it when I talk. I have to talk to you, otherwise I’d be worried you had turned to stone. You’re so quiet sometimes.” You stopped at a stall, admiring the fabrics here – not to buy, just to look at the different things in a place you had never seen before. 

The Mandalorian made a soft noise, “No, sweetheart, that’s just called quiet time. You might want to try it sometime.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but something behind Mando caught your eye. Rising up on tiptoe, you peered over his shoulder… but there was nothing there. Weird. You could have sworn you saw someone wearing a hood just… watching you. 

You shrugged, assuming you had imagined it like before and then looked back to the man before you, “I can be quiet. I just choose to fill your hours with my wonderful voice.” You flashed him a grin, eyes dancing. 

A voice cut across before Mando could talk to you, “You.” It was a snarl, tinged with recognition that wasn’t exactly the most positive. It was bitter, aggressive and almost… pained. 

Mando turned quickly, his hand flying toward the blaster on his hip, instinct overriding him. His movement allowed you to see who had just interrupted the conversation. 

A lady stood there, with curly magenta hair twisted up into a braid. She had tattoos along her neck, and her eyes were a shocking green. She was breathing quickly, staring at you with such disdain that it made your neck prickle. 

How did you know this woman? You’d never been to this planet before.

You blinked, holding up your hands as a surrender gesture, “Uh… I’m sorry but I don’t know you. I think you must have me confused with someone else…”

The lady shook her head fiercely, making the whisps of her hair that had escaped bounce wildly. “No. I do not have you confused. I would know you anywhere.” Her eyes were wild with fury, pinning you to the ground with just a stare. 

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t know who you are. Maybe you could tell me your name?” You extended a hand, trying to diffuse this situation and help the woman understand that you aren’t who she thinks. 

She flinched back from your reach, even though she was still a good few feet away. “How dare you. You don’t even know who I am?” She made a noise of disgust, looking you up and down in such a way that you were surprised the skin didn’t flay from your bones, “Typical. I don’t know why I’m surprised. She was probably just another tool to you, wasn’t she? Another person to use and discard like trash.”

You blinked, your hands dropping to your sides. Your skin began to tighten, your blood turning a little frosty. You looked to the side, seeing a few people start to stop and watch this altercation happen. 

The Mandalorian seemed to pick up on this at the same time as you. He turned more toward the lady, his hand still within reach of his blaster, “Why don’t we take this somewhere more private?”

The woman barely even looked at him, “Don’t get involved in this, Mandalorian. You’re just as bad as she is. At least to do what you do, you have to have respect and creed. You have morals, no matter how murky they are.” She jabbed a finger at you, “Unlike this savage monster.”

Your breathing immediately shallowed, getting a little unsteady as she spat out that word, that hateful word that followed you around and hounded at your feet. “I’m sorry? For whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry if it’s hurt you. I didn’t mean it, truly-”

She laughed, a cold and cruel laugh, but her eyes were slowly turning glassy with tears. She took a few steps closer, “You don’t even remember her name, do you? Shall I remind you? Help you distinguish her from your kill list?” 

You didn’t fail to notice the way the Mandalorian’s stance shifted. His body tightened and he stood closer, shielding you slightly with one of those ridiculously broad shoulders. He was going on the defensive, feeling the situation start to spiral. 

The woman barely spared him another glance, “3 years ago, you showed up on Trask. You stumbled around the market for a few days, bleeding from a wound in your leg and you passed out.”

Realisation was beginning to filter through you. It sparked in your mind and you remembered a dark street and rain, your leg heavy and cumbersome beneath you. It had burned like fire and when you went down, you couldn’t get back up again. 

The woman was still talking, “Someone picked you up, took you to their home. My sister. She was there for work, and saw you lying in the street, like some kind of dumped animal. She nursed you back to health, gave you somewhere to stay.” She could see it as it began back to you, “You took her aid, her comfort and then, there was a warning put out in the village. There had been a high-risk fugitive spotted in the village. Anyone with information was to come forward immediately.”

Your hands curled into fists, your chest shuddering as guilt and darkness began to swirl within you, “Stop.” 

She chose not to hear your quiet plea, “I was supposed to meet her. But she sent me a comms message. She would meet me, but she would have someone else with her. Someone who she couldn’t tell me over a comms message. Someone in trouble. People said this girl was dangerous, to be handed over with no hesitation but she didn’t see that. No, she said this girl was terrified, that she just wanted to live.” She tilted her head, walking closer again, “But the next day, this special little girl was gone. And then the Imperials came.” Her voice shook, her expression unreadable. 

You shook your head mutely, not wanting to hear this, memories flooding your brain. 

“Someone had tipped them off that my sister was harbouring a fugitive. They tore through her home, destroyed it and dragged her in for questioning. They demanded she tell them, beat her when she denied it. She never gave it up.” 

The woman was right in front of the Mandalorian now, who extended his arm out, ‘That’s close enough.” 

Nausea roiled your stomach, and you weren’t sure if you were going to pass out or throw up. There were too many eyes on you, too many people watching as this woman revealed you bit by bit. 

The woman lowered her voice, deadly soft and it shook, but carried in the silent square, “My sister was murdered because of you. Because of what you are.” 

Mando froze, his head tilting back to look at you slightly. You still hadn’t told him. 

She wasn’t done. “They told me a few weeks ago that you’d been captured by a Mandalorian. I wept with relief that day, because I knew the Mandalorian wouldn’t fail. You’d be taken to whoever wanted you, and you would finally repent for every single sin you’ve ever committed. Your life is littered with them. My sister, my beloved sister is dead because of you. A killer. A beast. Your hands are stained red, girl, and they will always be stained red. I admit, I’m disappointed that you slithered into his head with your poison too but you will kill him too and then… You deserve everything that will ever come to you. And more.” The woman was breathing almost as quickly as you, her eyes glinting in sick delight at the pain she was causing you. 

My sister is dead because of you. 

A beast.

Her words mingled with that seductively dark voice in your mind and you gasped for a breath, knives feeling like they were digging into your lungs. Your eyes darted around, noted the strangers looking at you with horror and that shared disgust. A father pushed his daughter behind his legs as he caught your stare, hissing at you. 

A flinch ran down your body and without a second thought, you turned tail and bolted. The sunlight was too bright, obscuring your vision harshly and making you stumble every now and then. 

You were distantly aware of a male’s shout, then a harsh thumb and the Mandalorian’s voice snarling, “Stay down.” He stopped to check your pursuer was down and then he was running after you. “Hey, wait.”

You ignored him, boots pounding into the dust as you ran through the market, needing to get out of this place, get away from her and the memories. Where the hell was the ship? It was right here a minute ago. I haven’t gone the wrong way. This is the way we came. 

You could still hear Mando behind you, knew he was hot on your heels. “Drop it, Mando.” You led him around people and stalls, knowing if wanted to be in front of you, he would be. He was letting you flee, stopping anyone coming after you. 

Dodging around a crate of fruit, you almost sobbed. There it was, the Crest, gleaming in the sunlight. You slowed down as you reached it, stopping a little way away to let the ramp come down, let you inside to sanctuary. 

Nothing happened. 

Bastard. 

You took a breath, trying to get past the tightness in your lungs, “Let me in.”

“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on.” His voice was firm, arrogant, in a way like he knew best and you’d listen to him. 

~“A killer. A beast. Your hands are stained red.”~

Your hands curled into fists at your sides, staring at the Crest, at where the ramp was tucked in tight. Your heart was pounding, not from the run, but from the realisation that no matter where you went, there would always be someone you had touched with that curse. “No. I’m not telling you anything. I don’t owe you anything.”

He laughed behind you, but it was a cool laugh, nothing humorous in it, “I’m not saying you owe me anything, princess. But some woman just cornered you in the street and spat abuse at you. I thought I would be prying you off of her, not chasing after you.” 

A wolf. No. A beast.

You spun round, eyebrow raised, “Because I’m some wild animal that would rather fight than talk my way out of a situation?” 

If he had no helmet, you would have seen him blink, “No, I’m not saying that. But, well. You have to admit it, don’t you?”

Something was beginning to prickle up the back of your neck, his words threatening to cut a little close, “Admit what?” Venom laced your tone and you tensed, as if bracing for a punch.

The Mandalorian walked closer, oozing confidence like he somehow knew you better than you knew yourself, “You don’t really think, do you? You never calculate the risks of a fight. You just jump straight in with no regard for your own safety. I mean, when I came for you on Sorgan, anyone smart would have seen a Mandalorian and run.” He wasn’t saying it in an arrogant way, he was saying it as fact. And he was right. A Mandalorian appeared on the street and you turned around and crossed to the other side. You didn’t engage him a fight and flirt with him. 

A cold laugh rocked though you and you tilted your head, “Anyone smart? So you’re calling me stupid now? Is that it? Beast or stupid?” You took a few steps closer to him, ignoring the villagers milling around that had started to look, having heard the fight in the centre of the market. “Don’t you dare tell me I don’t calculate risks. You think I’ve had time to calculate risks in my life? I don’t have time to sit with my little notepad in my ship and jot down the pro’s and con’s of engaging in battle. I didn’t have the luxury of being trained like you.”

Bitter astonishment filled the Mandalorian’s voice, his own body going rigid, “The luxury of training?! You think I chose to become a Mandalorian? That I woke up one morning and skipped along to Mandalorian school?” His voice rose, the rough rasp turning to stone with every word.

You observed him with a steely gaze, something in you needing to push him away, to protect yourself before he got too close. So, you aimed for what you knew would work, his Creed. Your eyebrows rose, looking him up and down as you leaned your weight on one leg, “You’re telling me you weren’t born with that thing already stuck on your head?” Spiteful sarcasm dripped from your voice and you pointed up at his helmet. 

The Mandalorian let out a snarl that no doubt usually sent normal people running. He stalked toward you with predatory grace, a hunter toward his prey.  “Don’t you dare.” Like he read in your eyes where you were going with this. 

Ugly triumph filtered though you as you stood your ground, not afraid of him, “It’s all the same with you Mandalorians, isn’t it. You have all your training, don your shiny armour and suddenly you’re better than anyone. That helmet goes on, you don’t have to face the consequences of what you’ve done. No one knows who you are, so you don’t need to take the blame.” These words were spiteful, beyond cruel and you hated yourself more and more for each one, but he was starting to get into the cracks, starting to see you. You couldn’t see him die. 

Mando was right in front of you now, towering above you with all his broad-shouldered posture, frustration roiling off of him in waves. “You think I don’t feel remorse for what I’ve done?” His voice was so low, barely leashed. 

You nearly purred, tasting the promise of a fight, even if it did twist a knife into your heart. “I’ve never seen it.” You tilted your head back to look up at him, letting every ounce of spoilt, cruel brattiness melt into your expression. 

A soft growl rumbled through the helmet, so muted you barely heard it in the noises of the market behind him. 

Yes. Yes.

And then he relaxed, his shoulders eased and his hands uncurled. 

What? No – Disappointment, maybe even shock registered on your expression. You’d been sure, so sure that aiming for his beloved Creed would get him to fight you. Why hadn’t it worked?

Mando shook his head, the sunlight bouncing off of the shiny metal, “No. I’m not doing this with you. You can’t push me away, no matter how hard you try. You don’t mean anything that you just said, I can see it in your eyes.” He pressed a button on his vambrace, and the ramp opened behind you. 

He saw you. 

That dark beast was starting to awaken, its ears pricking up. You needed to get out of here, away from him, away from this, now. You just shook your head, turning around and walking up the ramp, watching Duru as she ran ahead of you. 

Footsteps sounded from behind you as the Mandalorian followed you. He took Grogu from his little pouch, popping him on a cargo crate and Duru immediately jumped up next to him. “Don’t walk away from me. I’m trying to help you, but you keep shutting me out. Why did that woman say those things about you?” His gloved hand enveloped your wrist, his grip not tight or authoritative, but it began to break something in you. 

“Let me go, Mando. I mean it.” You let ice creep into your tone, trying to disguise the cracking inside you, the darkness that was beginning to stir and whisper. 

And the damn tin can saw it all. Your back was to him, but he still fucking knew, “Please… You know I would never judge you for it, for whatever you did to make her say that.”

Excuse me?

Anger flared through you now, igniting into a blaze and you snarled, “Whatever I did?!” You didn’t give him time to respond, not before you swung around, using his grip on your wrist for leverage. You had spent enough time around him now to become familiar with the plates of his armour, so you knew you aimed correctly when your fist connected with the side of his ribs between the front and back plates. 

He grunted, jolting a little but he still didn’t let go. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I only meant-” His voice had softened and, in your rage and hurt, you mistook the pleading tone for a condescending one. 

Before he could finish, you punched him again, harder, “Don’t. Don’t try to start spewing excuses at me. I knew perfectly well what you meant. You thought that she had been hurt by me. That I killed her sister with my own hands. Probably slit her throat and bathed in her blood.”

“No, no, I didn’t. If you would just listen to me and stop shouting, please-“

Your foot connected with his shin, making him stumble backwards. You followed after him, “You didn’t even stop to think that maybe, for once, I didn’t actually do anything. But no. Like always, you looked at me and saw the worst. You assumed that I was a monster.” You chopped down at his inner elbow this time, causing him to let go of you in reflex. 

Mando tilted his head, his voice coming out sharper this time, “I assumed?” He laughed, the bastard laughed, “What else am I supposed to do, sweetheart? You’ve been on this ship for nearly a month now and I still don’t know anything about you. So yes, I was wrong for assuming, but can you blame me?”

Your eyes flashed and you were on him again, “So it’s my fault that you thought I was a monster? You’d met me for all of two seconds on Sorgan and started whispering in my ear like honey, that death followed me wherever I went. There was a bounty over my head and that’s all you saw.” 

Mando went still, his shoulders tightened, and his voice came out lower, “You’re still bringing that up? I told you that you weren’t my bounty anymore.”

Before you could answer him, that velvety voice inside your head started to whisper in your ear, “Oh no, oh my sweet darling. He sees you. The real you.  He knows you’re a monster.” 

You shook your head sharply, lifted your eyes back to the Mandalorian’s stupid face. Helmet. Visor. Whatever. “I’m not your bounty but you believed that woman. So say it.”

His confusion was palpable, “Say what?”

You took a step forward and your chest butted up against his, “Say it! Say that I’m a monster. A murderer. I kill everything I come near.” You laughed, coldly, the words coming out with your voice but in your head, they were being repeated in that cruel, silken whisper. “You regret it, don’t you? Throwing away my puck. You wish you’d kept it, then you could get rid of me, be free of what I’ve done, why I’m being hunted.” Those steel bands were still wrapped round you, crushing you, swallowing you whole again. 

Something broke in him, his composure as the anger rose again and he leaned down to you, “Stop.” The command was a growl and he lifted a finger, pointing at you, “You’re a fucking hypocrite.” 

Yes. Yes, fight back, fight me. Tell me what I know I am. 

You raised your eyebrows, smirking at his finger and then back up at him but your expression was bitter, “Am I? Why’s that, Mando?” You tilted your head and practically purred, “Tell me.” 

The tension in the room was tight, the air almost crackling around you with this outburst of emotion, the threads of your entwined lives pulling taut. 

The light bounced off of the plates on his shoulders, betraying his slightly ragged breathing, “You just screamed at me for assuming the worst about you, yet you did just that to me. How can I want to be free of you, when I don’t even know who you are.” He lifted his hands to your shoulders, to try and calm you down, to push you away maybe. 

The smirk began to slip from your face, “Does it matter who I am?”

His grip tightened, “Of course it does. Because you’re not a bad person. Let me help you, please. Just tell me something. Anything.” His voice turned pleading, and he lifted a hand from your shoulder, like he was going to cup your cheek. 

You’re not a bad person.

Fire blazed within you again, protective and destructive. This was too close. He was getting too close. You had to stop it, now. You had to get away. 

You reached up, grabbing his wrist and using the element of surprise to slam him against the wall behind him, pinning his wrist there and then your blade was at his neck, dull light glinting off of it, “Back off. You can’t help me. I’m not some broken doll to add to your ragtag collection.” Your own breathing was ragged, coming in sharp pants as the room started to spin. 

The Mandalorian flinched, like you’d hit a nerve and his free hand moved. Bingo. 

Yes, you thought, almost begged, Punch me. Fight me, please. 

But he didn’t. He just curled his fingers around your wrist and pushed you away, dislodging your knife and knocking you back a few steps. Like you were weak.

You couldn’t do this, he was starting to slip through the cracks that were forming in you. He was looking at you, seeing you. He always had, from the moment you were nothing but hunter and prey, he knew exactly how to get through your intricately woven net of silver-tongued quips and cocky arrogance. 

No. 

Your voice cracked, echoes of the dark beast’s laughter in your ears “No! Stop pushing me away, stop taking it. Fight me!!” You surged for him again, your hands curling into fists, slamming against the beskar plates again and again. 

You didn’t care that it hurt, that it made pain explode across your knuckles. 

You liked it, you liked the pain. Deserved that and so much more. 

And the Mandalorian… just stood there. He shook his head, just slightly, “No.” He stood there as you hammered your fists against his chest, even when you started to kick him. Just watched as your eyes became glassier, your punches harder but less accurate. 

Why wasn’t he fighting you? 

Your hazy mind began to overwork, searching for something, anything to provoke him, “Why? You don’t want to fight a girl? Too proud are you?” You slammed your knee into his, pulled at the armour plates, honed your pain and fury into him but he just absorbed it. “You’re as weak as I am, you’re running too. You’re the hypocrite, Mandalorian, not me.” Your words were stilted, made no sense as you spat out words as cruel as you could, just needing to provoke him. 

Nothing did. Nothing. There was no noise in the cargo hold but the sounds of the people outside, beeping, the dull thud of your fists, your spiteful words and your own ragged breathing. 

And the whispering in your head that had turned into a full-on symphony of bitter taunts and sniping truths. It rose with memories, flashes of your dead parents, the battered bodies of those that had tried to help you, people who had been caught in the cross-hairs of your life. Innocent people that had turned into nothing more than collateral damage. 

Blood had started to smear on the beskar, your knuckles splitting open with the repeated impact. You could hear Duru meowing, Grogu gurgling in worry but you didn’t care. 

The beast and its army rose, tasting the scent of blood and bringing you visions of the future, of the Mandalorian, dead on the ground. The blood from your fists turned into his own, painting the ground red. Duru, fur soaked in scarlet and Grogu, his tiny little body broken on the floor in a pool. 

And above them, you stood, soaked in the blood of these three. Relishing in the pain and torture that you had caused. You could taste their blood. 

The room began to spin further, the whispering detonated into a roar and it unleashed a heavy roiling cloud within you. It choked you, squeezed fists around your lungs, clouded your eyes and snuck into your head. It whispered to you, such cruel taunts, sucking out the deepest, most vile thoughts you had about yourself and spat them back out, combined with these visions of the future. It leeched the energy out of you and with a choked sob, your knees gave way. 

Duru let out a yowl of concern, springing off of the cargo box. 

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be confident, or strong. I can’t be brave and cocky, I can’t keep throwing myself into every fight, I can’t run anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t-

And then a pair arms caught you. 

Mando caught you. He didn’t haul you up against him. He didn’t try and pull you up. 

No, he sunk to the floor with you, supporting your weight in his own body, leaning against the wall and letting you collapse against him. 

You froze, your body stiffened as he did. This… people didn’t touch you like this. They didn’t put their arms around you unless they were trying to drag you somewhere. 

You hadn’t been hugged since you were a child, and yet here you were. The Mandalorian was holding you, but loosely. 

Waiting, for your consent. For you to be okay with this. 

And as his gloved hand brushed your back, such a tender warmth broke through you, caressed your pain and you couldn’t resist. You sunk into him, the last saps of energy leaving you as tears flooded your cheeks. The armour was hard, digging into you a little bit, but the feeling of just being held was more than enough. 

He wrapped his arms around you, coaxing you against his chest. His legs were either side of you, one stretched out on the floor and the other resting up to support your back. Distantly, you were aware of four clawed feet padding over your lap, Duru settling into the space between you and Mando’s arm. 

The armour disguised the frantic beating of his heart, your tears and shaking of your body held the trembling of his own hands, but he didn’t mention it. Didn’t mention the fact that this was the first time he had held someone like this that wasn’t the kid… since he was a child himself. He was just as starved of touch as you, even more so because he had no skin-to-skin contact either. He could feel your warmth through the fabric of his clothes that weren’t covered, could feel the weight of you leaning into him. 

He didn’t speak, just held you in the dimness of the cargo hold, keeping you together as you fell apart, kept the promise of death away, just as you had done for him. 

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