#usually felt like this over my friendships which is making me feel really odd and like maybe i should step away for a little bit

[acebytaemin]

omg this is going to be so silly but it’s a diary entry you’ll understand bc if i told this to my friends irl they’d make fun of me forever and be like ‘YOU???? YOU are saying this?’

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for coming out as bi to my girlfriend and voicing my concerns to her

I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend, L (20F) for three years now. our relationship has been great so far, we were attracted to each other from the start. she has always been very flirty and tbh that's how she won me over at first, because teenage hormones are gonna teenage hormones y'know, but when I got to know her better as a person I realized my feelings for her weren't just sexual - she is kind, gentle, overall really sweet. I was, and still am, attracted to her in every way. L is also openly bisexual, fully out, and idk I've always felt so safe around her because she doesn't judge others, I think she's so beautiful inside and out. she has been my first girlfriend ever so I always do my best to be supportive and make her feel loved.

a few months ago I realized I'm bi. I thought, hey, since she always speaks about her own bisexuality I think I can tell her I'm bi as well. she was, as usual, very non-judgemental but she said something that I didn't like, something like "you see how much I love and trust you? someone else would've been like OMG YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST GAY AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GUY". I was,, confused bc 1. I think supporting your partner when they come out is the bare minimum, 2. she is bisexual herself and I don't think shes gonna cheat on me with a girl, I never acted like I was great for supporting her and 3. I know I'm not gay because L can do whatever she wants with me so I dunno what that comment was for. I've enjoyed my intimate encounters with her too much to be gay and she knows this.

I was a bit annoyed but still grateful that she was supportive. I noticed our sexual activities increased after that and a part of me wondered if she was trying to make sure I'm not gay. which made her look like a bit of a hypocrite because she never had to "prove" to me that she's not gay. not complaining tho - I just found it odd? I think it's a weird double standard, but then again I know women are always putting up with double standards so I feel like I can't tell her abt how strange her comment was. I just don't want L to think I'm not attracted to her and I started feeling like an asshole for telling her I'm bi.

but she got actually upset over something else that has nothing to do with us being bi - when we first started talking, she was dating another guy. I knew this, so I was respectful, I thought that L being flirty with me was some kind of joke until she told me she was serious and she couldn't stop thinking about me. L didn't cheat on him, she broke up with him before she started dating me, and recently I told her "hey... I won't be that guy one day, right? I trust you and I know you won't cheat on me, but I remembered how our friendship first started and if you ever stop loving me I would like to know before you feel ignored enough to start flirting with other guys". she got very visibly upset, she said I was right, said she felt cheap and like a whore and ???? NOT AT ALL WHAT I FUCKING MEANT. I was trying to tell her I want us to have communication, because I love her and I want our relationship to work out.

I feel like a shitty person and boyfriend, first for telling her I'm bi even though it wouldn't have an impact on our relationship, then for trying to voice my concerns and accidentally making her feel that way.

I've apologized a few times and we're good now but she introduced me to her best friend and,, this girl just started talking abt how she will guide me so I can properly take care of L? it made me feel really stupid. I felt like a child tbh. we are bi but not poly (I respect those who are, just giving you context) so idk why she felt she had to insert her friend into our relationship. am I really so bad that my girlfriend has to ask her friend to teach me how to be good to her? I would understand this if L had some sort of disability but her friend just talks to me about BDSM and doms/subs and like ??? I feel like L being a sub has fuck all to do with our argument, but I still feel terrible. pls help me make sense of these things. I want to know if I am the asshole.

[penguinsravioli]

·˚ ༘Crush Confession anthony vaughn x reader

: ̗̀➛⁺ chapter 4 ⁺ first - previous - next

The party was a bit of a crash, but I guess that’s fine. Unfortunately for me I couldn’t find my ride. Ca$h was gone. 

And mysteriously, so was Dusty’s dads car. I sigh, him and this eshay bullshit. He’s told me that he feels like he’s “entitled” to continue to hangout with them. Even if Chook is an asshole, he’s basically one root income. Undoubtedly so though, a reckless and illegal root. I’m sat on the stairs of Dusty’s front porch, fiddling with my long skirt, swaying it back n’ forth. “I love this goth mother look you have going for you” I look toward Missy. I let out a chuckle, “Thanks Miss, hot, per usual.”

She twirls her hair jokingly, making the both of us giggle a bit. “How are you holding up?” Here it goes, the same question about how it’s been at home since the map. “Umm not the best, but it’s alright, I got my trap phone” I pull out the little burner device. “(name)! Look at you being rebellious!” 

“Sweetheart I’ve been pretty rebellious forever. Don’t know how you didn’t see the signs” I shower myself in self praise whilst Missy laughs with her hand over her mouth. “You got a ride home?”  “Yeah” I take back my phone, lying though my teeth so she doesn’t go out of her way for me. “Plus I need the air anyways” I stretch my back in the concrete stairwell. Missy begins to stand, “Alright then (nickname), call me if you need anything alright?” I nod. “Of course” I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn’t believe me. I know I won’t call her if I need anything. I barely call Ca$h when I need a ride to school. I always end up walking, despite the distance.

I play with my acrylics with a solemn look. Seriously though how am I gonna get home. My house is anything but close. 

“Hey Ladybug” I shout at Ant after he spooks me. “That wasn’t funny!” I whine a bit at his everlasting delight from my fear. “Calm down babes. Just me.” He puts his hands up, slowly lowering them when I roll my eyes at the nonsense. Ant has always looked at me with such a sincerity that I could never find in anyone else. It’s like if I were to disappear he’d notice. It always makes my heart drop but it’s like a familiar nice feeling that I cant describe well if you asked.

So the minute my irises centered to make eye contact with him, and I saw Ant Instantly searching. The feeling came back.

I turn away again, staring in front of me. “I haven’t heard you call me Ladybug since Kindergarten” 

“Thought it should make a comeback,” he slings an arm around my waist pulling me closer towards his body. “Plus it suits you” I chuckle. “How so?”

“Because you’re unique like a ladybug”

“You sure it’s not because you wanted us to be matching like how we used to?”  He smiles cheekily “No, but little me was a genius” I laugh at him and then check the time. It’s getting real late. I doubt my parents are home currently but I should definitely start to head back. “If you don’t mind me asking— can you walk me home” I sneakily shimmy from his grip and rise to my feet in a swift motion. Ants eyes follow me as I stand. “How could I say no?” 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“You’re getting really bold these days” I lock his hand with mine, enjoying the warmth he emits.

“I guess you give me a boost in ego” he replies quick whilst we walk. We’ve walked for 30 minutes and have finally made it to my home, and  don’t want him to go.

“Can you stay with me a little longer?” He looks towards me. 

Literally why the fuck did I just say that.

 “Yeah of course. Anything you wan’t” ever since cemetery we’ve gotten even closer despite me trying to build a barrier between us again.

Which sounds odd, but me and him distanced ourselves and our friendship entirely because of the hookup. It had been our first time actually ever doing anything like that. I think that we both felt an insane amount of guilt in shame. We had a talk in middle about how we were gonna make “our parents proud”, for him it was because he was heavily religious in his younger years.  While for me, because my parents had been so controlling and scared me into a corner.  It was until that party that me and Ant had finally really pushed past our promise of attempting to be good children.

The awkwardness afterwards had been mostly conveyed on my part, it was only me that had avoided my feelings for him after holiday. So it’s not surprising that they spilt out after the police crashed cemetery.

—He took out his wallet and pulled out some cash. In hand I had the soda I was craving, while he chose not to get a drink. “Cheers” I ushered to the cashier as we left.  I laid my head on Ants shoulder as I opened my carbonated drink. “Thank you for paying, I forgot my wallet at home” 

“No dramas. You deserve it” I gulp down my drink before answering. “Deserve it for doing what?”

“I dunno, just being yourself.”

“That’s way sweet of you Babes” I nudge him softly. He grins, “Of course, I’m ripper, remember?”—

We snuck in through my unlocked window, my room wasn’t really big but it wasn’t really small either. It was just a bit cluttered because I liked collecting posters, figures, random objects like signs, etc. “Your room has improved since the last time I saw it”

“Thanks Ant” I begin to pick up a few clothes I had threw around while getting ready for the party. “m’course”. I put the clothes in a pile and begin to fold them in a quick manner so I don’t have to deal with them much later 

“I neeeed to go thrifting again sometime, all the thrift stores around here have been so dry though” 

I spark up conversation.

 “You go thrifting? I’ve never tried it” I gasp, “seriously?! You know how many cool graphic tees I find on a regular? They would suit you so well too” I stand up putting the clothes in their respective places. I turn, coming face to face with Anthony.

In shock I scoot back, but he pulls me forward. “Why can’t just take the hint already?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know that you know that I like you (name)”He pulled me in by my waist and held me tight, giving me a sense of security. “I don’t know how come you’ve been avoiding me, but it’s been driving me crazy trying to figure you out” 

I suck in a breath. In attempt I try to find the words to reply but they’re stuck in my throat. So I’m just stuck, staring into his desperate eyes like I’m brainless. “Ant, you know I do care for you and—

I hear a car pull up into the driveway. Immediate silence was met from the both of us. I look at the window and back at Ant. “Anthony I will not repeat myself, get under my bed, when they leave the room I need you to sneak out as fast as humanly possible” I whisper yell as I start to undress and put on my night clothes. He starts to slide underneath quickly, holding his breath as I get into bed and pretend that I wasn’t at a party just an hour prior. I quickly turn my beside lamp off and get underneath my covers.

I hear the keys to the front door jiggle and I whisper to Ant “…you be as still as possible” 

“..got it”

I hear their footsteps down the hall slowly inching to my doorway. Then my door swings open. 

“(name)?” I pretend I’m knocked out. I’m a great pretender. They shut the door once they don’t get a response. And walk upstairs to their room.

 I let out a large sigh. I get off my bed quietly and crouch down to look at Ant. “I’d start to leave now” he starts to climb from underneath my bed with a nod of agreement. “Before I do though”

He pulls me in and gives me a quick peck on the lips and winks at me, jumping out my window and landing as silent as possible. Avoiding the cameras just like we did previously. 

When he’s no longer within area I close my window. 

Holding my beating heart in absolute shock. “I dunno why I’m so struck over this when he literally fucked me” I giggle to myself, sneaking to the bathroom so I can do my skincare before bed.

[paranormalactivity5]

you were right in front of me.

༺♡༻

Bestfriend!Eddie Munson x fem!reader      

Notes: looked it up and apparently there is a member of hellfire named doug so he’s in this, y/n has an aunt. The confession is based of a tiktok i saw. As always constructive criticism and feedback is welcomed!

Summary: Eddie realizes hes in love with his best trend and a freudian slip occurs.

WC: 1.2k

Everyone was sitting at the Hawkins High lunch table in their assigned but, not assigned seats chatting along as usual, but when Eddie sat down he immediately noticed something was wrong. “Wheres y/n?” “oh she's helping her aunt move today, she didn't tell you?” Steve said confused, the two told each other everything. “No….” he replied confused himself, they did tell each other everything; why didn't she tell him? And this was such a small thing, why was it bothering him?

Gareth arrived at the table, sitting down making an upset “oomph” sound when he hit the chair “What up with you?” Robin asked “Bethany totally shot him down when he tried to ask her out.'' Jeff remarked “Yup, I saw it, he barely got past one word, crashed and burned” Doug said making a fake missile fall and explode with his hand for extra salt in the wound. “You love this too much! I mean you're basking in my humiliation!”. Everyone laughed  and then Robin interjected “Hey don't laugh at him, I'm just as bad, I mean Vicky doesn't know I like her and I can barely get a word in.” She continues to pick at the carrots on her plate. Everyone continues ranting about their relationships or, lack thereof when Dustin butts in “you know you've been awfully quiet over there Eddie?”

“What?” he asks confused “surprised he havent started wailing on about y/n.” Gareth says with a chuckle but quickly shuts up when eddie gives him a glare “Seriously what the hell are you guys talking about?” “how you’re so hopelessly in love with her but she dosent seen to notice?” robin states like its obvious, he dosent notice the smirk on her face when she says the last part. the whole table nods “she's so pretty, her style is so cool!” Jeff remarks quoting eddie “she's so smart!” lucas adds, this continues on until eddie relalizes, holy shit are they right? Is he in denial? I mean yeah he’ll admit that what he feels for her is a bit more then friendship but, is he in love?

Youve been helping your aunt move all day and were exhausted but now it was time to get ready for your weekly hangout with eddie and knowing you were going to see him gave you just enough energy to get there, eat some pizza, and watch a movie. As you were getting ready you were overthinking as you always did before you saw him; Should you wear a skirt? Or would that make it to obvious you were trying to impress him? You landed on just some black ripped jean shorts, some spiderweb tights and a metallica shirt with some combat boots. A simple outfit, a little over the top for movie and pizza but, maybe just enough for eddie to finally get the hint

When you arrived at eddies you hugged him like you usually do but he seemed stiff, which was odd because he would always welcome you into a big bear hug, sometimes even picking you up off the ground! He seemed so uncomfortable throughout all of “little shop of horrors” until you finally made the suggestion that you should smoke a joint and order pizza, maybe it would loosen him up and he would say what was so obviously bothering him

He began to rifle through the drawer next to his bed where he kept his own personal stash and pulled out all the things needed and began to grind up a small nug. Most of this happened silently, whatever was bothering him must be really bad, usually he would be talking up a storm.

He was feaking out, the second he saw her smile and felt him hug her he knew he was screwed. Hes definetly in love. As he was preparing the joint he decided he cant keep acting all weird she might catch on. Hopefully a joint can helf him lossen up.

About 10 minutes of smoking later and Eddie and defineitly chilled out some. Just as you were about to ask him what had him so worked up in the first Place the doorbell rang, Eddie got up to get it quite quickly, “That must be the pizza, ill go get it.” guess he was still a little nervous. In Eddie's head he was once again freaking out. Your eyes were heavy, your voice and body relaxed, you looked so pretty…..you always did, but since the realization he loved you it became increasingly hard to not throw himself into you, hopefully you didnt notice.

By the time he had paid the guy, gotten you both a slice and some beer you had picked up and began flipping through it. “You ever think about your wedding?” you asked “sometimes, why?” “there were some wedding dresses in this magazine…..i bet yours would be like, lord of the rings themed or something.” you snarked while chuckling “i meannnn…” he looks at you with a knowing look in his eye. “No you’re right that would be cool as fuck” you admit “expensive as hell tho.” you nod in agreement. “Well who would i be like your best- maid of- best woman..is that a thing?” or i could be the bride, you think to yourself. “Yeah i think thats a thing”

“Shit I mean you could be the bride who knows” he says laughing. Holy shit holy shit does he even realize what he just said? It seems he does when he looks up and you're staring at him “What?”  “you know like.. it's a possibility…like with all the roles you could possibly take its…in the realm. Not like I want you to be the bride” he lets out a small laugh. He's messing with his hands and touching his hair, which he always does when he lies. Hes lying. “You’re lying” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. “Huh?” “you’re playing with your hands and your hair while looking down, you always do that when you're lying….You like me?”  “I love yo-” he begins to admit nervously, but before he can get another word out your lips are on his, youre not sure what caused such confidence to come over you, maybe years of pinning. You could tell he wasn't expecting it but he soon melted into the kiss, years of what was thought to be unrequited love being poured in from both sides. 

Once you pulled apart you spent a moment just staring into each other's eyes. You're the first to speak “Why didn't you tell me?” the answer would've made you fall to your knees if you weren't already half straddling him “Baby I can barely hear my own thoughts when I'm with you.” you smile and giggle, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, he does the same. “Robins gunna freak.” you point out with a laugh and his head slightly turns to look at you quizzically. “She's been trying to set us up forever” you state. He thinks back to the conversation from later today…. he's going to have to thank her.

[jaylienpotter]

Part 4 of Let them be | 1k words

> Part 3 | Part 5 (to come) <

Credit to @starsarestories for suggesting including Hagrid in marauders fics!

Let people want none

"Comin'!" With a loud creak, the wooden door opened wide. "Ah, Peter! What'cha doin' here? Come in!" Rubeus Hagrid was a half giant who was Hogwarts' gamekeeper. He was extremely sweet, despite his intimidating figure. He had guided Pettigrew and Potter on their first day there and they quickly warmed up to the hairy man. Peter went to his cabin from time to time.

"Hello Hagrid. I'm honestly hiding from my peers, you're a calmer presence so I came here. Hope that's alright?"

"O' course! Hungry?" The man infamous for his cooking skills. If Hagrid invited him for tea, he felt bad refusing, eating the rock hard pastries he made. The flavour wasn't bad. It was just hard to chew.

"No, thank you."

"Tea?"

"Yeah, alright. Thanks." He prepared the tea and sat opposite to the student.

"So. What'cha hidin' for? Did ye get into a fight?" No, but he had been further from starting one.

"No. It's just… It's James. He keeps messing with me, saying I fancy this person. But I don't! And it's really frustrating…"

"Ye told him that already?"

"I keep telling him Benjy and I are just friends- Benjy is the one I'm talking about. Benjamin Fenwick, Ravenclaw, a year above." Hagrid nodded once, maybe he knew Ben. Or he was just being polite. "But James doesn't believe me. Says I'm in bloody denial. But I don't like Benjy that way!"

"Yer just not gay, that's alrigh'. Ye can be close to a friend."

"It's not that… I never fancied anyone. At all. Girls or boys. Sybill liked me at one point and she's sweet and passionate and pretty but… I just don't feel it. Maybe I'm broken…"

"Nonsense! Yer so young, ye'll find the right person, don't worry boy." Wormtail exhaled after taking a sip from the hot wonky mug.

"You don't understand, I… I don't think I'm capable of feeling that, you know? Like… everyone is coupling now. James is head over heels for Evans as usual. I think she's gaining a liking for him, which will make him impossible to be with. Marlene and Dorcas are a couple. Oh, Remus and Sirius got together by the way."

"Ah, did they? Good for 'em. I think they make a good couple."

"Yes, finally. They're two oblivious idiots. But anyways. Everyone is all lovey-dovey and I just… don't get it? I don't see what's so special about being in love. If anything it seems annoying and disgusting. And everyone is expecting me to join in but I don't want to…"

"Then don't. Simple. Ye gotta learn not to fall under pressure, Peter." He did have a point. Saying 'no' was a very difficult task.

"But what if I never feel fulfilled?"

"Lemme tell ye a secret, Pete. Ya don't need a partner nor family to be happy. I'm happy and haven't had a girlfriend since my years at Hogwarts. It's just been me and my animals. It's enough for me. Some people, like James, need love to feel fulfilled but not everyone. Some people don't care about it or do not wish for it. One example is Professor Mcgonagall."

"She's never had a partner?"

"Not as far as I'm aware. She much rather have her space and doin' other things. An' that works. Maybe it's what works for ye too." His head of house was a brilliant witch. Tired, for sure, but who wouldn't be when you have the Marauders as your students?

"I see… Maybe you're right. But how do I tell people? Everyone will think I'm odd."

"Just say ye don' feel that attraction. Ye prefer friendship. Or don't say nothin'. Ye don't owe anyone explanations, yeah? Do what feels best for ye." Wormtail relaxed. He needed to hear it. That he wasn't broken. He wasn't the only one like that. And it was okay.

"Thanks, Hagrid. I'm glad I came to talk to you."

"Anytime. Always good to have som' company. Ye welcome to come over whenever, alright?" The boy smiled and nodded, finishing his tea and saying his goodbyes.

"You won't believe it! I got my hands on an Incredible Hulk! Can't wait to read it!" He might not have been a scholar like Remus. And big literacy books were boring to him. Comics, however? He owned a huge collection. Marvel was his favourite.

"That's great! You'll have to tell me about it when you finish." Benjy was the only one really willing to listen to him ramble about the things he liked. James read comics too, but it was hard to have a conversation about it, Prongs always ended up being the only one talking, too absorbed to notice he was cutting off Wormy. It wasn't his fault, yet it still made the short boy feel invisible. Not with Benjamin, though.

"You can read it afterwards, if you want. And then we can discuss it."

"Thanks but I prefer it when you explain it. You're cute when you're excited." Pettigrew wasn't stupid. He knew his friends were right when they said Fenwick fancied him. He would just rather pretend he didn't know. Pretend it's not true. Live in ignorant bliss.

"Oh, thanks. So uhm… Have you been drawing?" Ravenclaws were mostly known for their intelligence and academic values. What people often forgot was how it was also the House of creativity.

"Yeah, here and there." A comfortable pause followed, the mood shifted as soon as the silence broke. "Pete… Can I tell you something?" Oh no. No… No, please don't confess. Please. Everything was going so well…

"Sure, what's up?" His voice sounded casual, even though his stomach took a toll. If this was anything like what people described as 'butterflies in their stomach', Wormtail was glad he didn't feel attraction.

"You probably know this already- or you don't and are oblivious. But… I like you. As in I fancy you. Have been for a while." The Ravenclaw probably wasn't expecting that reaction. Maybe a rejection, an unsureness or if he got lucky, a kiss. Instead he was met with sadness. Pettigrew looked down, leg bouncing from anxiety. "Please say something…"

"I can't…" Voice broken, much how he felt inside. "I-I can't love like that… It's not-"

"'It's not you, it's me', heard that one."

"No, Benjy! Listen to me, please… I don't think I'm capable of having romantic feelings. I can't bring myself to be interested in any of those things. Kisses grosses me, couples annoy me, the whole societal norms in regards to love leave me bloody fuming! I don't know why I'm like this. I just really don't like that sappy stuff. It's not for me. And if I did like it and feel romantic attraction, I would've definitely dated you. It just doesn't feel right to be with anyone… I'm sorry for giving you any wrong signals…"

"It's okay. I thought there was something, sorry for misinterpreting our relationship." No, don't go!

"No! Benjy there is! Just because it's platonic doesn't mean it's not special! You're my best friend…"

"I… I thought it was the Marauders?"

"Well… James is sort of on your level. But you've been climbing your way up, I feel. Remus is a good friend and Sirius too but… Nothing compared to you. You make me feel loved, like I'm worth something."

"You're worth the whole world…"

"Then let's not change things… I'd really hate it if you stopped being my friend because of this…" No, go back inside! Bloody tears!

"Okay. If that's what you want, I'm happy to just be near you. We can keep our Wednesday tea dates. Platonically!" The small boy chuckled. Benjy was the best, he made everything better. Wormtail could always count on him.

"I'd like that." Ben opened his arms wide and Wormy walked there in baby steps until his head was against his friend's chest. He let himself be hugged, taken care of. "Are you mad?"

"At you? Never."

"I'm sorry for this. You're truly special, Ben."

"So are you. As a lover or a friend. So are you, Petey..." They stayed like that for a while. And then they carried as usual, their bond the same as before, if not stronger. Things hadn't gone the way Benjamin wanted them to, but the Marauder knew he got touched by being called a best friend. And Peter meant every word of it. Not loving romantically didn't mean not loving at all. Platonic love was just as important, just as intense, just as real.

[fumikomiyasaki]

Short stories

Featuring @authoruio Vigil and @fullplaidponydreamer Daniel

_______________

A Heavens Call:

Sitting down reading as usual a sigh left her lips reading over her current book... it wasn't a topic she was fond of... sisterhood made her remind the distance of her sister from her... closing the book she hugged her knees a little looking around... as if hoping something or someone would come, yet the someone that did come was someone she didn't want to see.

"Barry, you can already walk on... before you try to say anything."

"Harsh, I just make you harmless offers to get to know you and-"

"Yeah right... who was the one who offered me money to go on a date with you, just cause I look similar to Brenda doesn't mean I can be bought like her."

"I know I know... I just really want to show you what a shining Hero I am."

"A Shining Hero you say... which Shining hero abandons his daugher, cheats on his girlfriend, undermines tons of genuine people oh and tries to buy friendships, I wonder."

He clenched his fist a little and sighed.

"Listen up... I know these rumors... so what I made mistakes, everyone does, I just want you to list-"

As he tried to put a hand on her shoulder he suddenly got stopped by another arm that grabbed him... both of them looked at the third figure, Carols face showing a small smile...

"Vigil."

"Who the hell are yo-"

"Don't you see you make her uncomfortable, if she does not wish to talk to you, you should leave it be."

Barry grew grumpy and glared at him before leaving... Carol taking a breather of relief.

"Thanks for taking over, if not I would have probably punched him."

"Its odd how someone peacefull as you attracts so much trouble."

Carol offered him a seat and sighed.

"Part of being the usual peacekeeper... but also I feel I can tell those guys 10 times I am not interested in them yet they keep bothering me."

She leaned against his shoulder, something that surprised him yet he accepted it as he noticed her gaze on him.

"Something wrong?"

"You seem tired... oh maybe a tea would help."

She got out a can of Tea out of her bag with a smile.

"Its fine, seriously... but thanks for the offer."

Hearing his denial she looked a little dissapointed but understood right away, yet she felt still a bit tensed up... especially because of Barry before... she wanted to understand Vigil... she wanted to do something for all the work he did for her keeping him safe...

"Carol, why is is that you care so much?"

"Huh? You mean why I care about others?"

He gave a firm nod. "These are not your problems yet you do all to help, to change peoples views for the better, to solve fights... why go through all these things that only frustrate youself?"

"Its because I wanna improve something... I want to make the world one where many can feel better. Even if I don't have the strength or super powers to change things.... I want my words to be a smile, a hope or something comforting for people so the life at least a little better... that is what I hope of acheiving."

"I see... its no wonder I always looked after you the most."

He stood up as if ready to leave.

"Wait Vigil... you already have to go?"

"Yes... still have something to do."

She seemed still tense, she wanted him to stay more, yet she knew what he did was also important. Still it wasn't satisfying to Just see him leave... and so her impulse kicked in.. quickly she walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar for a small kiss, withdrawing with Serious look.

"I hope next time I have a bit longer with you... its always hard to say goodbye... so I think this way I at least feel somewhat happy till you are back."

"If its important to you then." He pulled his arms around her for a warm hug, one that made her face quickly light up in a smile before letting go.

"See you soon then."

As he left she felt somewhat better... like those negative feelings all swayed away for a short while, she made herself a tea and continued to read the book, not being caught up on the past. ________________________________

A Training of heart:

As they usually met up for training, she was focused on Multitasking of correcting her tutor work while planning through that training she set up together with Daniel like they often did... however letting her pen run over the paper and concentrating on it was hard for her when her boyfriend was right there before her, being for her the biggest distraction with his shirt off and those drops running over his body... she tried hard to keep her focus yet after a while even he noticed those prying eyes that she hid behind her glasses and got closer.

"Say why don't you take a break as well sweetheart?"

"But I barely did anything..."

It was this teasing tone of his that went under her skin, she got up as if wanting to get something from her book pile, yet quickly he had her trapped between the table and himself, her face turning bright red.

"A-alright you convinced me... "

She adjusted her glasses on her nose and looked back at him. His hands wandered to her hips, making her grow more nervous, yet also she couldn't let her eyes off him... Eventually he pulled her from the side of the Table to the corner of the room, pinning her a little to the wall. To make the tension even worse for her.

"Are you t-trying to make me weak on purpose... is this your way of escaping training today?"

"Maybe?... or maybe I just like to see how nervous you get cause of me..."

He stroked her red face before drawing closer, cradling her neck and leaning his lips on hers for a tongue kiss, her face growing warmer by the second as she pulled her arms around his neck too fully giving into it...

"Its hard to focus around you really... but its also good to see how far you come... "

"Most is thanks to you... I don't wanna think about back then but, its thanks to you I feel better now..."

A warm smile escaped her hearing this, her hands placed on both of his shoulders staying close.

"But seriously now... I need to get my work done and you need to get your plan throught to get your rewards."

"Don't you call this motivation, sweetheart?"

"H-hey, don't throw my words back at me."

He smirked slightly as he withdrew...

"Well then, hope you have a good reward in store, given how you look right now... I think I motivated you for something good too."

And with this comment her mind went back into the gutter... utterly defeated as he continued his training. She drank a lot of tea to get calm again in mind and concentrate... yet she was happy he was so motivated about it... a smile sticking on her face while she continued her work.

[shades-of-sapphire]

Maybe in another life

He spotted the two figures occupying the table by the window right away. As he made his way forward, he saw that his roommate was slumped half-leaning on his fiancée – whose focus was entirely on her laptop, nose adorably scrunched in concentration. 

She looked up and smiled when he arrived at their table, making his heart jump in its usual gymnastics whenever she smiled at him. She shut her laptop closed. "Hello. Long drive here?" 

"Not at all, came from a meeting that was conveniently close," he said as he sat down right across her, only because the other chair that was across his roommate was occupied with their belongings. He nodded at the man deep in slumber, still dressed in his scrub. "Is he okay?" 

"Out cold in an instant." She grimaced apologetically. "My bad, though. Strong-armed him into watching a movie here, which of course bored the hell out of him." 

"That's okay. He needs the sleep." 

With a sigh, her hand reach out to her fiancee's hair, absentmindedly giving it an affectionate ruffle. "Yeah. Between the residency and the wedding preparations, he really does." She turned to him, and he couldn't help but realize that she had makeup on – not that she usually didn't, only this time it seemed more... excessive and professional. She must had caught his odd stare because she said, "Pardon the face, had an appointment with the makeup artist earlier." 

"Looks good on you," he said genuinely. He meant it with his whole heart. 

Her smile cracked slow and – careful? "Thanks. The man mentioned something about returning your portable charger?" 

He suddenly remembered why he came here crashing the lovebirds' hard-earned quality time in the first place. "Yes, he said to come get it here." 

"Should be in his bag right there," she nodded to the chair next to him. "Help yourself out." 

He did, spending a few minutes rummaging through his roommate's backpack to find said charger. Among his resident essentials, he found one curious bottle of inhaler. He was just about to ask the fiancée about it because throughout tens of years of their friendship he didn't have any memory of his roommate ever needing an inhaler, before the answer struck him all of a sudden in the form of a flash memory. 

"It's about time you tell me if you're at risk of having an asthma attack, you know." 

"Huh? What do you mean?" 

He held out the inhaler he found in the kitchen counter towards his roommate. "What's this?" 

His roommate let out a chuckle. "That's not mine, it's the girlfriend's. She has asthma, so I'd like to be prepared in case something bad happened when she comes over." 

So his roommate kept one in his bag too, he idly thought. How thoughtful. 

He would probably do the same himself. 

"Did you find it?" 

He nearly jumped at her question, quickly shoving back the inhaler to its designated compartment on the inside of the bag. "Yeah, it's here. Thanks." 

She smiled at him, though it had the same odd, faint sense of carefulness from earlier. "Where are you going after this?" 

"Home, I think. It's been a day." 

"Do you mind if we talk for a bit before you leave? I want to ask you something." 

His interest picked, he leaned to the back of his chair, settling in. "Sure. Go ahead." 

She tried to shift before seemingly remembered that she was supporting nearly the entire weight of her sleeping fiancee, so she forced herself to stay still and worried her lower lip instead. A clear sign of nervousness, which was something he never saw on her before because she always seemed so laid back and confident. 

"Take your time," he encouraged as she seemed to be struggling to get her words out. 

"Alright. I'm just gonna be blunt here, so I apologize in advance." 

He bit back a smile. "Sounds super serious." 

A short pause, before she let out a rushed: "Do-you-by-any-chance-perhaps-ever-have-some-sort-of-feelings-for-me?" 

Took some effort but he managed to get the entire sentence, and it wiped the amusement entirely off his face. He felt rather than saw himself whiten in shock. After what felt like an eternity, he finally croaked, "Where did that come from?" 

She threw a quick glance at her fiancee. "Him, actually. He noticed that you're becoming a little awkward around me, and suspected that you might... feel something?" The sentence went up towards the end, making it sound more like a question rather than a statement. She grimaced. "Sorry, that didn't sound right at all." 

"No," he said quickly. He pondered his options for a second, but knew he wouldn't have opted for anything but the truth because truthfully, despite everything, he really wanted to get it off his chest. "I mean no, you're not far off." 

That took her aback, her eyes widening until he could see the whites around her irises. "Holy – hold up, let's circle back. You're saying – you're saying you do have feelings for me?" 

No turning back now. "Yeah, I guess. Sort of. Just realized it not that long ago." 

He still remembered it clearly; they were alone in the apartment he shared with his roommate, she was waiting for her fiancée to come home, and he decided to make dinner for her because she said she hadn't eaten anything since morning. As he finished setting up the table, he found her beaming at him, and that was the exact moment he realized. That this odd warm feeling he had whenever he saw her, the gymnastic flip his heart made whenever she smiled at him, they were not normal behavior towards his best friend's fiancée. It drove him out of his mind to the extent that got him physically sick later that night because he just could not possibly catch any sort of feelings for his best friend's fiancée, but he did anyway. 

"And I thought he was crazy for suspecting such thing," she muttered to herself, looking more stunned than anything. "I won't even realize anything if he didn't point them out to me." 

He chuckled. "Of course he picks up the signs. We've been friends for so long now, he knows me inside out." 

She threw him a look, long and considering. Strangely enough, the scrutiny didn't make him nervous; if anything, now that the cat was out of the bag, he was eager to answer all the questions he could almost hear running around inside her head. "Were you ever going to tell him?" she finally asked. 

"I was torn," he admitted. "I want to tell him for so many reasons. One of the biggest is that we've been friends for so long, even the thought of hiding something this huge from him makes me uneasy. Also, I feel like I've wronged him horribly and just want to beg for his forgiveness. But then there's this little voice telling me that he might end up not forgiving me and won't want to be friends with me anymore, and I chickened out. I can't risk that, can't risk losing tens of years of great friendship over something that I could just shove to the farthest, darkest corner of my head, so I did just that." He laughed, a little bitterly. "Didn't consider him finding out on his own, though. Should've known better." 

She listened to his explanation very carefully, eyes never leaving him the entire time. Waited a few seconds after he stopped before asking, "Were you ever going to tell me?" 

He blinked, genuinely perplexed by the question. "Of course not. Never plan to do anything about it. I would never do that to him." 

She nodded, taking her fiancée's hand that was lying on the table and started playing with his fingers. He didn't stir one bit – he really was out cold. "He asked me if I want to, you know, do something about it. If I want to call things off with him and see if it can work out with you." 

Oh, how much he hated himself for the tiniest bit of hope creeping up his chest. He shoved it down the drain violently. "I would never ask you to," he said. 

"I know, but he insisted – said he doesn't want to be in the way if I feel the same for you, wedding preparations be damned. So I thought about it, like really thought about it. Figured it was for the best because I can't keep being in a relationship with him without being extra sure about my feelings, it's not fair for him." 

It was his turn to nod. "And? Did you come to conclusion?" 

Her eyes darted away from his, the first time since she started this topic, and it was an answer enough for him. "I'm really sorry," she whispered. "But I love him." 

He nodded again, solemnly this time. "Don't be sorry. I'm actually glad to hear that. He's really in it for life with you," he added absentmindedly, suddenly remembering the inhalers. "I would never ruin that for him." 

"Still, I'm sorry about the circumstances." She cleared her throat as her voice was threatening to break. "If there's anything – anything I can do to make it less shitty for you? I can come over less, or stop seeing you altogether." 

"No, don't." The reason came a little late after the quick answer. "I will always see you from time to time as long as I'm friends with him, which I intend to keep that way, so it's just impossible. And – " he hesitated for a second " – he's my best friend, but you've become my friend too, and I don't want to lose that either. So just... don't change anything." 

Her free hand was quick and swift, but he didn't miss the movement of wiping a tear away from her cheek. "Won't you feel miserable though?" 

Various memories of having to witness the exchange of loving gazes and affectionate gestures between his best friend and his fiancée ambushed him all of a sudden. It was unpleasant, painful even at first, but then he realized that the desire of wanting to see the two people happy was way, way stronger than the pain it caused. "I'll manage," he finally said. 

Both of her hands came over the table to grab one of his and squeeze hard. It lasted for just two seconds before she retreated and settled by gripping the edge of the table. She threw him a sweet, trembling smile. "In another life, maybe," she breathed. 

The thought of an alternate universe where they would work was pleasant enough for him to cling to. "Yeah, maybe." 

: Hey, sorry I was out cold when you came  : Heard she talked it out with you?  : yeah. sorry I didn't have the nerve to come clean sooner  : No worries, man. Didn't want to confront you myself either  : We're good, yeah?  : I am, and going forward I will tell you if I feel otherwise  : Good. Same goes to you  : Maybe it's time for you to go scout some SINGLE ladies for yourself  : rude.  : Too soon?  : a little  : Sorry. I'll bring some peace offerings home 

[topguncortez]

Dragon ~ B. Bradshaw

pairing: B.Bradshaw x F!Reader (Trace sister)

word count: 3.1k

warnings: mentions of smut, cursing, dangerous flight situations, g-loc

synopsis: Being the younger sister to one of the top female fighter pilots has you on your toes and struggling to get an ounce of power.

“God for fucking once I don’t need you to bail me out!” Y/N yelled at her sister, as she threw her helmet across the locker room. 

“Well maybe, if you didn’t need bailing out, I wouldn’t have to bail you out!” Phoenix yelled. 

“You got in my fucking way! I fucking had him, Nix!” 

“I wasn’t even in your way and you were losing!” Y/N groaned and slammed a locker shut, walking away from her sister, “Yeah! Real mature! Throwing and slamming shit!” 

“I learned it from you!” 

Y/N couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as her, opting to grab her shower stuff and storm her way down to the other latrines. Y/N pushed the door open, not bothering to stop at the ‘male latrine’ sign on the door. Finding an open bench, she set her stuff down and plopped down with a heavy sigh. 

It was hard being the younger sister to Lieutenant Natasha Trace aka ‘Phoenix’. Y/N had been exactly a year younger than her, most people compared the two as twins, which they both quickly grew to hate. There was always a natural competitiveness to the two, always having to outdo the other, no matter what. Natasha turned 18 and joined the navy, a year later Y/N did too. Natasha got selected for Top Gun, and a year later Y/N did too. Now the both of them found themselves back at Flightown, on a mission where the outcome was still yet to be determined, but one thing was for sure, they both desperately wanted in on it. 

Y/N reached to the back of her head, pulling out the pins that held her hair in a nice and tight bun. She hated having to have her hair done, especially when it came to flying. She felt odd walking around with a braid in, seeing how perfect Phoenix’s hair was every day. So Y/N reverted back to her old lower enlisted ways, waking up almost two hours before first formation, going through almost a whole can of hairspray to make sure not a single flyaway was out of place. It felt like heaven at the end of the day, being able to take her hair down and take her fingers through the crunchy locks. 

Standing up, she took her boots off and then the flight suit that had become her main source of clothing these past two weeks. She stood in her black spandex and white tank top, digging around her hygiene bag for her shower stuff. 

“Did you hit your head or something, Dragon?” She lifted her head up to see the one and only Bradley Bradshaw standing in front of her. 

“No, I know exactly where I am.” 

“Ah, so you know that you are in the men’s latrine, half naked,” 

“Can I help you, Chicken?” 

Bradley chuckled at his nickname. Y/N and Bradley had gotten to know each other on a current duty assignment, and she couldn’t stand him. There was something about the way he walked, the way he talked that had her wanting to punch him. Then, of course, the icing on the cake was his friendship with her sister. All of them, actually. They all seemed to know each other, except for her. Y/N felt like the odd man out, watching them drink and have a good time at the Hard Deck. She would usually buy herself a drink, talk with them about how the day went, but when the music and the pool started, she would slip out the door, undetected and go back to her barracks room. 

“Wondering why you look so sad, really bringing down the vibe,” 

“Of the old, black mold covered, latrine?” 

“Yes. It has a lot of character.” 

She chuckled, shaking her head, “Just a little tiff with the older sister.” 

“Lemme guess, Maverick shot you with a ‘missile’” 

She nodded, slipping her dog tags over her neck. She could feel Bradley’s eyes on her as she bent down to take her knee high green socks off. Bradley’s honey brown eyes traced her long tan legs, seeing the dragon tattoo that resided on her thigh. That's how she got her callsign anyway. A certain young lower enlisted hookup and the reveal of the ink that she hid from her  parents and older sister. Y/N pride herself in knowing she had the first mythical creature callsign in the family, and her's came later. 

“Can I help you, lieutenant?” She asked, noticing his stare on her legs. 

“Did it hurt? The tattoo?” He asked, pointing at the ink. 

Y/N smirked, grabbing the waistband of her spandex and dropping them down her legs, revealing the intricate pattern of scales and flowers that seemed to stop just shy of her ribcage and the navy blue lace thong that was underneath her shorts. 

“No, it felt quite nice. I’ve always had a thing for pain,” Y/N said. 

Rooster was speechless, taking in the sight of her tan skin, her body almost on full display being covered by some flimsy undergarments that he could rip away in seconds. The sly smirk on Y/N’s face, as she turned around, letting him have a full look at her ass. Bradley felt all the blood go rushing straight to his lower region, as she grabbed a towel from on top of the lockers. 

“Any other questions, sir?” Y/N asked, turning back around. Bradley shook his head, watching as she grabbed the bottom of her tank top, shedding it off her body, “That’s enough of a show for you, sir.” 

All Bradley could do was nod, and watch Y/N walk away towards the showers. Once he heard the shower curtain slide shut he had to take a deep breath, trying to get his body to remember what breathing was. He adjusted himself in his flight suit, choosing to grab his shower stuff and shower in the privacy of his home. 

Where his thoughts were anything but pure as he leaned against his shower wall, fist wrapped around his aching cock, as he jerked himself off to the image of her. He could only imagine the way your skin felt under his hands, him tracing the intricate patterns of the tattoo on her hip. The sounds that would leave her lips, even hearing the small grunts and whines while doing 200 push-ups on the tarmac were enough to drive him crazy sometimes. Or the way his name would fall from her lips, or better yet, the way she addressed him properly. 

“Sir. . . is this good?” 

“Oh fuck yeah, that’s good, Y/N,” Bradley cursed, moving his hand up and down faster along his cock. Feeling the pleasure grow hotter and hotter in his body, until he was shooting white hot ropes of cum onto his stomach. 

— — — 

The next day everyone gathered in the classroom, Y/N and Phoenix taking opposite corners of the room, her in front left corner, next to Bob, her WSO, and Y/N in the back right, in a row by herself. Y/N liked sitting in the back, being able to watch everyone else. She watched as everyone filtered in, watching as Rooster swaggered in last, the certain way he walked with such confidence. When Maverick came in, everyone rose to attention until he called you at ease. 

“We’re switching things up a bit,” Maverick said looking at the class. Everyone seemed to shift in their seats, feeling the nerves. Maverick always kept them on their toes, in the air and on the ground, “Rooster, Payback, Fanboy, Coyote, Fritz. . . and Dragon, you’ll be flying as a team.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened as Phoenix turned around and looked directly at her younger sister, her face unreadable. Maverick dismissed everyone, and Y/N was one of the first people out of the room, trying to avoid her older sister, but that didn’t stop her from yelling Y/N’s  name. 

“Y/N!” Phoenix yelled, not even bothering to use her callsign, “What the hell was that!” 

“I didn’t know! I had no idea he was going to-” Y/N’s speech was cut off by Natasha’s harsh slap to her face. Y/N stumbled a bit, and then found her footing, quickly lunging towards her sister, “You bitch!” 

“Whoa!” Payback said, getting in between the two females. He grabbed Y/N’s waist, as Bob grabbed Phoenix, “Hey don’t kill each other before the mission.” 

“You throw one fucking fit about me saving your ass and you got me benched!” Phoenix yelled. 

“Maybe Mav finally saw that you’re a shitty pilot and knows you can’t complete this mission!” 

“Says the one who I had to bail out!” 

“Ugh, I hope you go into g-lock!” 

“Yeah, well I hope your eject-” 

As soon as the words left her mouth, Phoenix regretted it. There were some things that they would never say to each other, especially doing some of the most dangerous missions in US military history. No matter how mad they got at each other, they never wished something ill like death or a failed ejection. Payback released Y/N’s body, and she pushed his arms away, going straight for the tarmac. 

“Dragon! Wait!” Phoenix yelled, but Payback stepped in the way, stopping her, “Move!” 

“No, she’s about to go up in the air, she needs a clear head.” Payback said. Phoenix nodded and prayed to whatever God was listening to that her little sister would be okay. 

Y/N knew where Rooster was, knowing that he liked to sit in the silence of the locker room before getting suited up and heading to the tarmac. It once again didn’t phase her as she walked right into the men’s latrine, finding Rooster where she expected him to be. 

“Is it your fault that I’m not flying with Phoenix? Did you do this shit?!” Y/N yelled at him. 

Rooster stood up from his spot on the bench and looked at her, “I said something to Mav about possibly split-” 

“God can’t you men leave anything alone! I don’t need you or her or Mav or anyone to come to my rescue! There’s a reason i’m a solo pilot and that’s because I can handle my own shit without a fucking man sitting behind my shoulder telling me what to do!” 

Rooster opened his mouth to say something, but Y/N left the latrine before he could. He groaned, running a hand through his hair. That’s not what he was expecting when he talked to Maverick about possibly splitting Dragon and Phoenix up for a flight exercise. He was hoping she would be thankful for the opportunity to do a training exercise without having to share the sky with her sister. Instead, she seemed more angry at the fact that Phoenix wasn’t going to be in the air with her. 

The next time Rooster saw Dragon was during the pre-flight check. Bradley was going to walk over and say something, but Hangman beat him to it. Bradley stopped in his tracks, watching as Hangman gave her that panty-dropping smile he gives to every female he sees. Bradley knew that she saw right through Hangman's antics, usually not giving him the time of day, but she laughed. And not one of those awkward chuckles, a hearty laugh, tilting her head back and squinting her eyes. Bradley moved from his spot over to his plane, trying to fill his mind with the thoughts of the flight exercise and not the way she put her hand on Hangman’s forearm. 

Y/N climbed in her plane, getting comfortable in her seat before slipping on the harness. She let out a shaky breath as she looked around her cockpit, checking the gauges and reporting back her pre-flight numbers to her flight crew. 

“You feel good about this, Dragon?” Her flight chief, Grizzly asked. 

“I’m good,” Y/N said, and grabbed her mask, strapping it down, before flipping the switch to close the top. She waited for the flight crew to taxi her out into the runway, looking to her right to see her WSO team ready for flight as well, “Alright, let’s rock this shit.” 

Y/N waited in line for her turn to take off. She gripped the joystick in her hand, watching as Rooster, Payback and Fanboy took off before her. When it was her turn, she closed her eyes and said a small prayer, before pushing the joystick forward, letting the plane move and catch speed. She felt the nose catch air, and pulled back the joystick quickly, letting the plane get completely off the ground and sail through the air. In the hangar, Phoenix took a deep breath watching her sister take off in her F/A-18. 

There was something about cruising through the sky, seeing the sereness of the earth from a high altitude was peaceful. There had been times where Dragon would take an old fighter jet up, and just cruise around Flightown at sunset, trying to “chase the sun” before it went down. She loved flying, it was one of the things no one could take away from her. 

“You good there, Dragon?” She heard Rooster call to her via headset. 

“Let’s just get this shit done,” Y/N said, watching the Roosters move. 

“Fine, drop into the canyon,” Rooster answered. 

Y/N watched as Bradley dropped into the pretend canyon, following the flight pattern on his screen, Fanboy and Payback following in suit. Once it was her turn, Y/N dropped into the canyon, following the sharp turns that were presented on her screen. She had memorized this map in her sleep, knowing exactly how tight and how fast to take the turns. She also knew that time was important, keeping her eye on the ticking clock in the corner. 

“Come on Rooster, speed it up,” Y/N whispered. 

“Line it up, Fanboy,” Payback called to his WSO. 

“Lined up, drop it, Rooster!” Fanboy called for Bradley to drop the “missile” on the target. 

“Fuck!” Bradley cursed, missing his target, “It’s on you, Dragon.” 

Y/N inhaled as she flew closer to the drop zone, calling to her WSO team to line up the target. She watched as Fritz lined the laser, giving her a clear shot. She closed her eyes, counting the seconds until she was directly over it, hitting the button to drop the missile. Y/N opened her eyes, seeing that she hit the target. The next part was the worst, as she began the sharp incline out of the deep canyon. She pulled the joystick back as far as it would go, feeling her jet almost go completely vertical. 

“Keep breathing. . . keep. . . breathing,” She chanted to herself as she was fighting consciousness, “Keep. . .” She felt her head getting heavier, her eyes struggling to keep open and the blood leaving her brain. Y/N maintained to stop her jet from climbing any higher, but now she was starting to fall out of the sky. 

“Dragon!” Rooster yelled. 

“Fuck! She’s in g-loc!” Payback yelled. 

“Come on, Dragon!” Rooster called out, “Wake up!” Rooster directed his jet to go after her, hoping that him getting on her sensor would be loud enough to wake her up, “Dragon! Y/N!” 

It was like being in a dream, the constant beeping and hearing her name being called in her subconscious mind. She felt her head rock back in her helmet and her eyes flutter open. It took her a second to get her barings of where she was, but thankfully she realized what was going on. 

“Holy shit!” Y/N cursed, jerking the joystick up and pulling her out of a nose dive, “Oh my god, oh my god.” 

“Dragon, you good?” Rooster called, flying next to her. She looked over and nodded, feeling tears in her eyes. 

She had never been so thankful for getting her feet back on the ground. She didn’t even spend long doing post flight, and no one kept her longer than she needed to be there. Maverick didn’t say much to her either, telling her she did a good job and that he was glad that she landed safely. Phoenix was too scared to talk to her, opting not to say anything as Y/N grabbed her stuff from her locker room and went back to her barracks room. 

She was pretty sure she drained the whole floor out of hot water. Her shoulders and back were red when she stepped out of the shower, wiping the steam off of the mirror. She sighed, grabbing her hair brush and brushing out the tangles and clumps of hairspray she hadn’t totally gotten out of her hair. She did her best to push the emotions of the day away. She was still mad at Phoenix and Rooster, but she was also terrified of what had happened. Y/N had never hit g-loc, she knew what it was and how terrifying it could be, but the fact that there were seconds that she was in the air and not in control of anything was absolutely terrifying. 

Y/N got dressed in a pair of Navy issued sweatpants and a unit t-shirt. She grabbed one of the beers she had snuggled back into her dorm room, and cracked it open, sitting down on her couch in total silence. She sipped her beer, letting her mind go completely blank of the day's events, taking in a deep breath. It felt good, peaceful to be by herself and being able to decompress, until there was a knock on the door. 

Y/N groaned, getting up from the couch and going to her door, looking in the peephole and let out another frustrated groan seeing who it was. She opened the door and Bradley smiled at her shyly. 

“The hell do you want?” Y/N groaned. 

“I wanted to make sure you were okay, since you almost died.” 

“I did not almost die.” 

“Almost.” 

“God, you’re annoying! This is what I meant! I don’t need bailing out!” 

“You went into g-loc,” Bradley said, stepping into her dorm, and shutting the door behind him, “Your brain lost blood and you passed out.. . In a flying death machine.” 

“I know! Okay. . . I know. . .” Y/N said softly, “I-I-” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bradley said, walking over to her and pulling her into his arms. She gripped him tightly, afraid he would disappear or this was still a side effect of being in g-loc. Bradley kissed the top of her forehead as she sniffled. 

“Wanna get drunk with me?” Y/N asked, pulling away from her. 

Bradley chuckled and looked at the six pack sitting on her counter, “I mean. . . you only live once.” 

Bradley watched as she smiled, and walked over to her counter, grabbing a beer and digging for her bottle opener. Bradley smiled shyly to himself, trying to suppress his feelings that he felt. It took everything in him to not grab her and kiss her but he refrained giving her a small thanks, as she handed him a beer and then dragged him over to the couch.

[anashins]

The Right Kind of Wrong

Title: The Right Kind of Wrong

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: hate to love, cheating, college!au, friendship, romance, smut

Warnings: smut, cheating, cursing, toxicity

Word Count: 8.454

Summary: There are many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun. Aside from being cocky and selfish, the fact that he is dating your best friend is another one of them. But his mesmerizing smile - to hell with it - just isn't.

____

There were at least a hundred things you hated about Jung Jaehyun.

The fact that he was dating your best friend was just one of them.

Not a single day had passed by in the last year in which she hadn’t complained about her boyfriend having flirted with another woman, having ditched her again, going to a party and ignoring her all night, or simply dragging her mood down by one of his unpredictable and hurtful actions.

Aside from being cocky, selfish, arrogant and reckless, Jung Jaehyun was absolutely incapable of being a decent human being for more than ten seconds, and you were wondering why he was so damn popular despite all his faults.

When you went out with your friend group, he mocked the boys trying to hit on you, telling you they were so desperate for that move. When you were attending the same class, he purposely sat down next to you to distract you from the lesson. When he was at your dorm, he kept moving your things onto high shelves, knowing you couldn’t reach them.

And his smirk everytime he did so… his smirk every time he mocked you was so annoying. But also so hot.

Fuck, you thought whenever his mischievious eyes met yours again, and you had to turn away, at a loss for words and afraid he’d caught you flushing. You were so ashamed, because you actually wanted to hate him.

There were many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun, but his mesmerizing smile wasn't one of them.

You hadn’t hated him from the first moment that you two had officially met as you had gotten introduced to each other through your best friend who was also your dorm mate, though. She had found him on a dating app, and you had found him sitting in your class two days later, talking back to the professor.

Back then, you had started admiring his intelligence and courage. But those were the only two positive things you had spotted so far as you only tried to stay as far away from him as possible, emphasizing his negative character traits over and over again.

But the truth was that staying away from him was a very hard thing to do, and you fought every day for your sanity, trying to be a good friend and suppressing your controversial feelings for a man who was absolutely forbidden to you.

“He went drinking last night and I saw an instagram story of him grinding against another girl on the dancefloor!” your best friend complained in your arms, tears on the verge of flowing. “Who’s doing that even?!”

A few pairs of eyes turned into your direction, but when you threw fierce glances at the people staring at you, they passed by very quickly.

When you had been invited to your friend Johnny’s house party, you hadn’t expected to be spending the evening comforting your best friend, even though that had been your daily routine for the past three weeks.

It had grown toxicly usual for Jaehyun and her to fight in a two to three day rhythm over the smallest things, and although their wonky relationship or whatever it was hadn’t been very steady before with them breaking up nearly monthly, lately it had grown almost obnoxious.

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” you suggested again and immediately felt your heart sink.

It wasn’t like you wanted them to break up because you wanted Jaehyun for yourself. You’d never do that to her.

Your best friend was just constantly hurting, and it hurt you just as much when you saw her suffering so greatly. Jung Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and you both knew. Yet, she couldn’t let go of him. You knew exactly how that felt.

Even if they were to break up, he wouldn’t belong to you. Because a friend’s ex was a taboo. So having Jaehyun gone entirely from your lives would kill two birds with one stone.

“Not that again!” your friend whined and retreated from you, sinking into the couch with her arms crossed and no signs of tears anymore. “I can’t! I mean… look at him! He’s so hot, and don’t get me even started about his skills in bed. That’s where we usually make up, you know, so-”

“I’m going to get you something to drink!” you interrupted her and jumped up. “You totally need a cocktail now! To come to your senses!”

You loved your best friend dearly, but you didn’t want to hear about Jaehyun’s skills by all means. At some times, your friend didn’t have a filter, and then, it only spiraled downhill from there. You heard them often enough in the dorm, that was already pushing you to your limits.

When you entered the kitchen, you reached up to get a glass from the shelf, but like most of the times, you were too short for the remaining ones at the very top.

“Here, let me help you.”

A soft voice echoed from behind you, but before you could turn around to follow the tone, the guy had already heaved up his arm and reached over you to the very top of the shelf to get you a glass.

Shifting around, you faced the mischievous expression of the young man you had wanted to avoid and who your best friend was currently crying over.

Without a “thank you”, you reached out your hand to grab the glass from Jaehyun, but he immediately shot his arm up to bring the glass high over his head and far out of your reach.

“You think a simple ‘thank you’ is too much for you?”

“Fuck off, Jaehyun.” You crunched with your teeth and narrowed your eyes. “I’d rather die of thirst!”

“What did I do again?” He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner as though his high spirits got ruined. “What did she tell you?”

“She told me everything she saw from last night!” you defended your friend. “That’s enough for me to get the picture!”

“Okay, and did the picture somehow include me pushing the girl away after she had grinded on me?”

You gulped.

“Just as I thought.”

He placed the glass on the counter, but somehow, this hadn’t got your both’s attention anymore.

“There are two sides of the same coin, yet all you've ever done was looking only at one.”

He approached you, and the rising hotness in your cheeks made you withdraw until your hips bumped into the kitchen counter.

Jaehyun leaned in and propped his arm against the same spot right next to your hip as he asked, “I know you’re her best friend, but being a friend doesn’t mean supporting your friends delusional, one sided thoughts into oblivion. Being a friend sure means to support, I’m not denying that. But being a true friend means to tell someone when they’re wrong. And I am not the one at fault here, y/n.”

“You were doing many stupid things to hurt her in the past!” you started blabbering just to bridge over the silence you’d get when you would stare at his mesmerizing eyes for a little longer. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

“You aren’t supposed to believe me.” He retreated, with the glass in his hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to explain myself.”

Again, you were flabbergasted by the way he expressed his thoughts that stood in contrast to his questionable behavior. One of the main things that fascinated you. But you quickly turned this feeling into hate by recalling his wrongdoings from the night before.

Looking at the glass, Jaehyun continued, “Yes, there were many things I did wrong in the past. And I’m not going to pinpoint my finger at my girlfriend to tell that she was doing just as many questionable things as me. But people have reasons for doing the things they do. That’s probably why we’re such a good match.”

You didn’t understand a word. In your eyes, and you only knew about their relationship by what your friend told you and what you observed when you were hanging out, the two weren’t a good match at all.

He was the one constantly hurting her feelings, and she was the one to always get hurt.

Or... wasn’t it?

Jaehyun then thrusted the glass into your hand. “You’re lucky, y/n, you know that? It must be so great, living that freely, without any burdens… So oblivious to everything.”

With these words, he disappeared from the kitchen, leaving you behind all alone with the glass in your hand.

You looked at the item, your face getting reflected in the crystals to unrecognizability while Jaehyun’s words still kept you occupied. They had such an impact on you that you suddenly started to question whether your hate against him was actually valid.

When you stepped out of the kitchen yourself with a full glass of your best friend’s favorite cocktail in your hand, you found her in Jaehyun’s arms again, wildly kissing, his kind words suddenly vanished from your mind upon spotting them.

Instead, there was a little monster called jealousy sitting right inside your chest.

___

“8am in the morning! Who even places classes that early?!”

With a groan, Jaehyun flopped down in the seat next to you.

“Shut up, class is about to start.”

“Man, you must be really fun at parties,” he replied. “The professor is not even here yet.”

“You’re annoying, Jung Jaehyun, and if you weren’t dating my friend, I wouldn’t actually talk to you at all.”

“What are the odds we’re still connected to each other, huh! Tell me, y/n, what did I ever do to you? How did I ever hurt you? We’ve never even really spoken with each other ever since we’ve gotten introduced.”

“And I am grateful for this every single day.”

“What is it that you hate about me so much?” he questioned further, his eyes challenging.

But with your eyes straight ahead and no words on your lips, you ignored him as the professor entered the room only a short moment after, announcing the class’ start.

Your pen flew over the sheet, noting down the professor’s words when suddenly, goose bumps spread all over your arm.

When your eyes followed the trail to its source, your right elbow touched Jaehyun’s left one as a result of your hectic writing motions as you had moved too far to the side. The spot on your skin was so warm and so…

You withdrew your arm right away, placing it back to where it usually belonged, but Jaehyun’s own limb had moved so far to the left that you had no place to rest it next to your notes anymore without having his skin barely one inch apart from you. You weren’t touching anymore, but he was so close that you still felt him somehow.

Of course you could drop your arm and place it on your lap as the professor had stopped presenting the most important points of this lesson. Of course you could just move further away with your entire belongings, but the fact was that you didn’t. That you couldn’t.

Instead, you were fixating your eyes on the board right in front of you, listening to your professor’s words but not actually understanding a single syllable that he uttered as your heart beat fast against your chest.

You hoped that Jaehyun didn’t notice how desperate you were for him not to shift away right now. That you actually enjoyed it, but felt so much hatred at the same time. Not against him, but against you - for feeling this way.

“Can you answer my question, Miss y/n?”

Your eyes widened in shock as you got addressed by the professor by your surname. You were actually a good student who was always paying attention in class. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened. But now you got caught red handed not listening to him, and he was a very strict lecturer.

“I… um…” you stuttered.

“The answer to my question, Miss.”

“Yes… the answer…” You gulped as you didn’t even know the question. “The answer is…”

From the corner of your eyes, you perceived how a sheet was slowly moving into your direction from Jaehyun’s place. His finger was pointed at a paragraph that you had also noted down only shortly before.

Suddenly, you knew what the question was about and answered formally to the professor’s task.

With your heart having calmed down after the shock, you let yourself sink down on your seat again. You had gotten distracted only once by something that shouldn’t bother you at all.

This wouldn’t happen again, you swore to yourself.

____

“No ‘thank you’ again from you?”

You turned around to Jaehyun who had rosen a brow at you. “Is this becoming your thing now? Asking for ‘thank yous’?”

“Is this becoming your thing now?” he returned. “Not saying ‘thank you’? I saved your ass in class.”

“Well, I haven’t asked for that, so go beg somewhere else for attention.”

You made your way through the crowded club, feelling the bass under your feet and the techno music in your ears. Jaehyun was following suit.

“Do you want some kind of reward from me? Because you’re not going to get it.”

“I don’t want a reward. Hey.”

He reached out and grabbed you by your arm, right there on the dancefloor. The feeling from this morning returned, but in a higher intensity as it spread all over your body.

“All I’m asking for is respect.”

You snorted. “Respect? Do you respect my friend when you destroy her weekend plans to go drinking with your friends instead? Do you respect my friend when you dance ass on ass with another girl? Do you respect my friend when you hurt her feelings with your rude words? I don’t like you, Jung Jaehyun, because you’re a bad person, and respect is the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

You yanked yourself out from his grip and disappeared in the mass. What was up with him? Why was he bothering so much lately and evoking all these controversial feelings inside you by acting like this? He should just stay away.

With your eyes closed, you started to move with the music, all by yourself there on the dancefloor. You wanted to collect your thoughts, but as the music flooded through your body, you realized that thinking about nothing was probably the best way to cope with your inner struggles right now.

You opened your eyes widely when you suddenly felt a hand on your bum.

Turning around with much anger reflected in your mien, you stared at a boy around your age who grinned at you seductively. Your fierce gaze was probably mistaken for an invitation when he approached you further, grabbed you by your hips from the front and pressed you against him.

With his lips on your ear, he whispered, “I like what I see.”

And you wanted to scream. You probably did, but it got drowned out by the loud music, and his grip was way too hard for you to free yourself that easily as you shuffled in his arms.

“Let me go!”

Yet, his hands roamed around your private areas like they owned it.

“HEY!”

Before you could scream once more, the guy got dragged away from you by the last person you had expected it from.

“She said let go of her, you asshole!”

Jaehyun grabbed him by his collar, and his height and angry expression alone were probably enough for the other guy to nearly piss his pants as he hastily mouthed,

“I’m so sorry!”

When Jaehyun let go of him, he slipped off silently and wasn’t seen again.

You stood there awkwardly with your arms hugging your chest, still digesting the happenings.

“Did he hurt you?” Jaehyun asked when he leaned in for you to understand better.

You shook your head.

“Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded.

Jaehyun took you by your hand to lead you through the dancing crowd, and you didn’t protest.

This gesture was the total opposite to the disgusting one from the guy who had harassed you shortly before. This touch was raw and chaste. Nothing to be ashamed of and fight against, but something you wanted to accept wholeheartedly.

When you stood outside of the club, Jaehyun let go of your hand, and you finally whispered the words that he had been longing to hear for quite a time,

“Thank you.”

Against your expectations, he didn’t mock you or return witty words. With his eyes locked with yours, he sincerely told you,

“You’re welcome.”

That was the moment it dawned on you that Jung Jaehyun had more positive sides to him that you had always wanted to blend out. But perhaps, you had reached a point in which this wasn’t possible anymore.

You couldn’t continue keeping your eyes closed to all the kind sides of him. Because the more he showed you, the more you’d open your heart for him.

To you, Jung Jaehyun had to remain a bad person, otherwise you’d fall for him, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriend was a taboo.

“Hey, what are you two doing outside?!” Speaking of the devil, your best friend jumped out of the club’s door and into your direction. “Isn’t the music fun?”

Jaehyun looked at you, waiting for your reaction. You knew that if you wanted to go home, he’d follow. If you wanted to stay, he’d stay too, not letting you out of his sight. Because - and you couldn’t repeat this often enough - Jaehyun was actually a good person.

“I want to go home,” you decided. “You can stay, though! Please just let me be the party pooper all alone, I don’t want to spoil your night.”

“Oh, what a pity!” your friend said with a pout. “You always leave when the party is about to start!”

You shrugged with a weak smile, tired of fighting. “Yeah, I guess so. But I still have a lot of pages to revise.”

“Shall we take you back to the dorm?” Jaehyun offered in a caring voice that you apparently encountered for the first time, and your friend immediately shot a reproachful glare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?” she complained. “She’s a grown ass woman who can go home alone!”

His eyes hadn’t left yours. “I’m talking to her, not you.”

Had it always been like this? Her caring about herself more than about you? If it were the other way around, you wouldn’t let her go home alone in the middle of the night, no matter if you knew something had happened before or not.

Suddenly, you saw your best friend from a whole other perspective. Suddenly, she was the one having Jaehyun on a leash, and he was the one fighting back for his rights, not against her.

Two sides of the same coin… If you were to flip it, would your entire world view change?

For a moment, you hesitated. But not wanting to disturb your friend’s evening, you gave in with a, “It’s okay, I can go alone. Have a nice night!”

But Jaehyun held you back when he insisted on calling you an uber for which he even paid while your best friend continued pouting on the side.

____

“FUCK YOU, JAEHYUN!” you heard your best friend scream later that night from her room, every syllable of hers clearly to hear in your own room while you laid in bed later that night.

The hours before had passed by in a trance as you had only fallen onto your mattress face forward after having quickly changed into your pj’s, that was how much of a toll the day had taken on you.

You just wanted to forget what had happened in the club, but also the thoughts that had constantly been in your mind all the way home that only revolved around Jaehyun. So sleep was the best solution, and you would have gladly continued doing so if there weren’t your best friend and Jaehyun arguing loudly next to you for an hour already.

Then, Jaehyun seemed to return something to which she screamed again, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Stomping followed the brief silence, a door getting opened, then shut again, and footsteps moved into the direction of the entry door before it fell close behind Jaehyun.

This was a nearly weekly experience for you lately, and usually, you’d just miss hearing their arguments, but this time you couldn’t help but to wonder what they had been yelling about. You just hoped it wasn’t because of you and what had happened to you earlier, because in your eyes, Jaehyun had done nothing wrong.

He had been so incredibly nice and thoughtful that you started to doubt their relationship.

You turned in your bed, wanting to fight those thoughts so badly. Jaehyun was your best friend’s boyfriend, and hence, forbidden fruit for you. But you just couldn’t stop your imagination from running now.

What it would be like in your best friend’s place and get treated like this every day, and the worst part was that you didn’t even feel bad about betraying her in your mind.

Fuck, you only thought and sat straight up in bed, now surely not being able to grasp a light thought to accompaby you back to lseep anymore.

Feeling safe to leave your room ten minutes later as your roommate must have fallen asleep by now, you didn’t think about sleep anymore but wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen to calm yourself down.

Perhaps, tomorrow, you’d have another look at the entire situation, you tried to convince yourself. After a few more hours of sleep, all these confusing thoughts and feelings might have already been forgotten.

“Cannot sleep yet?”

You turned around and found a half naked Jaehyun only dressed in boxers right in front of you. The empty glass of water in your hands got placed back on the counter with shaky fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you contered.

“Well… she suddenly left.” He shrugged. “We’ve been arguing. You sure haven’t missed that one.”

“I didn’t.”

Still, you were wondering what that was all about, but didn’t want to ask. He lifted the weight off your shoulders himself though.

“It was about you.”

“Oh…?” You gulped.

“When you were gone, I went back to that guy and didn’t let him go that easily. They threw me out of the club and your friend thought I'd ruined the night for her.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

You wanted to make your way around him, but he blocked your way as he didn’t move to make space for you to pass by the door.

“What’s making me a bad person, y/n?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. “ The way I saved you in class? In the club? Tell me.”

“You cannot be serious right now. It’s 5am, draw a number for another day.”

You wanted to slip under his stretched out arm, but he moved his body to block you again. “Number one. Now tell me.”

“Because those have been the only times you were nice to me, Jung Jaehyun!” You clenched your fists, breathing in deeply. “When we go out with our friend group, you mock the boys trying to hit on me, telling them they’re so desperate for that move!”

“Because I heard them speaking about you before,” he declared. “They were not looking for something serious but only fun, one had even placed a bet. I tried to spare you from this embarrassment and eventual lovesickness. Go on.”

“When we’re in the same class, you purposely sit down next to me to distract me from the lesson!”

This one let him smirk. “Because I always saw you sitting there alone. You have no friends in that class, and I thought you might need some company. Besides… I knew you couldn’t afford that book we needed, and I purposely always shoved it into your direction when the professor read from it. Have you never noticed?”

Now you have. And you were flabbergasted.

“Wh… when,” you stuttered, “you’re over here, you always move my stuff onto high shelves, knowing I cannot reach them!”

“Because I love to see the defeated look on your face and your cute pout when you have to ask me to get the things for you.”

You didn’t know what to say further as you stood there, frozen on the spot. You hadn’t seen this answer coming.

“Anything else?”

Yes, there were many things you hated him for, and you wanted to throw them all into his face, but as he was standing there in front of you, not even one more came into your mind.

“I just hate you to the core!” you hissed.

But with calmness in his voice, he only turned, “No, you don’t.”

And then, it was all only a blur.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, you found yourself nudging against his body. You wanted to free yourself from his grip, but instead, you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to escape from his kiss, but instead, you kissed him back in the same passionate manner he kissed you.

Jaehyun’s hands roamed all over your lightly covered body while his lips moved against yours, touching every spot he had missed out on during the entire time he knew you, because you had always pushed him away.

But now that you had opened up to him, you were scared the time window was about to close very soon, so you had to work fast.

You jumped on him, hooking your thighs around his waist while his hands instantly clung around your buttocks to give you the support he needed to carry you to your bedroom. Your hands remained interlaced on the back of his neck when he placed you onto your bed and laid himself between your legs.

Thrown overboard were all your morals, priorities, and the friendship to the person that meant the world to you. You didn’t want to think about all that, but were longing for him so desperately that you wondered for how long you had been suppressing that desire already.

Jung Jaehyun was hot. But he was a bad person.

Or… wasn’t he?

You desperately ground upwards against him, feeling him growing between your legs, and you brought your hands down to massage his length. Jaehyun interrupted your kiss as he hadn’t expected this move to come, and groaned into your ear.

You smirked triumphantly, your hands kneading muscles until he was pressed hard against your palms. Tucking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid the garment from his hips, revealing his bum. Your hands glided along his curvy, soft mounds, grabbing into them like you were testing ripe peaches.

Jaehyun was pecking your lips as you slid your hands under his body again and closed around his entire girth. He stopped for a moment, but the second he continued on, you started moving your hands, top on top, along his length.

Not being able to concentrate on the feeling down there and kissing you simultaneously anymore, you perceived how Jaehyun got weak with supporting his body on his own arms that he had rested to the left and right of your head. So you decided to take the lead from here on.

Sitting up yourself, you put your palms on Jaehyun’s chest and pushed him backwards onto the mattress. He watched you with surprised eyes, but didn’t protest as you sat on his thighs, eyeing his member with much anticipation.

You slid further down his legs, nearly close to his ankles, and bowed down. With your fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, you led him to your mouth. First letting the tip pass by your lips, then his entire length up until the very middle.

You only heard him swearing, “fucking shit,” before Jaehyun covered his face with his arm placed over his eyes and his other clasping the sheet by his side. Your hair grazed over the area around his navel while you moved your head up and down, cautiously slow at first to give yourself time to adapt to his length.

Then, you started bobbing your head, increasing the speed with every time you came up and nearly let him slip out, your fingers that had closed around him sliding in the same rhythm, adding to the pleasure. The slurping noises that came along with this act filled the room until they got drowned out by Jaehyun’s moans.

He directed his hand towards your head and grabbed it by the back, ruffling your hair between his fingers while he started to thrust upwards, meeting you halfway in the fast motions. Like this, he was able to reach deep within you, but still not far enough so that he could hurt you.

When you witnessed him twitching his legs, you stopped, held him still by the base and decided to tease him further a bit before you allowed him to release himself. With the tip of your tongue, you touched his glans, trailed along the slip and then circled around the entire top part.

Jaehyun’s swearing words came in a never ending trail like a waterfall that you couldn’t really understand all syllables from, but you were sure you did a good job and rewarded him for being patient with the motions from before again, but this time with added pressure and passion.

Suddenly, he grabbed you by your arm, urging you to stop.

“Or else I’m gonna cum,” he said and sat himself up, flipping you around so that you laid under him again.

Hastily, you got rid of your top while Jaehyun worked on your sleeping shorts until shortly after, you were both lying naked on top of each other. You wanted him desperately inside you, because you just didn’t know when you’ve had had sex the last time, but instead of wanting to get through this fast, Jaehyun took his time.

That was when you realized that this entire joining was probably more to him than just sex to get it off. You had thought that because he hadn’t been able to get it tonight from your best friend, he’d take it from you. But the way he touched you insisted otherwise.

If it wasn’t more than just sex, he wouldn’t trail his fingers over your ribcage in feathery-light motions, admiring every inch of your body. If it wasn’t more than a body-focused act, he wouldn’t place soft kisses not only on your mouth, but also onto your forehead, your cheek, your neck… If it wasn’t more, Jaehyun wouldn’t be so damn thoughtful and tender.

He remained his tenderness and his gaze didn’t leave your eyes as well when he finally nudged between your thighs, pushing forward until he filled you up to the brim.

Restraining himself from starting to move right away, Jaehyun took his time to ask you whether you were okay at first when you let out a quiet “oh” that alarmed him. But you were eager to calm him down when you explained that it was only because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, and somehow, after speaking it out, it made you feel embarrassed.

As the boyfriend of your best friend, he’d surely know when you had been in contact with a man the last time, and you hated yourself for being so pressured by society to feel ashamed of who you were and how you lived your life.

But instead of judging you, Jaehyun only nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and suddenly, you were flooded with such a warm feeling towards him that you nearly cried. Rarely had you encountered a man so considerate and caring.

“Tell me when I can go on.”

You bit your lip and felt the uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions getting replaced by a feeling that you hadn’t encountered in so long. A feeling that made you want more, want him.

Holding onto his shoulders with both of your hands, you nodded back at him with a smile which he then returned. When Jaehyun started thrusting in and out of you, your eye contact didn’t break, and you were sure that right now, you were looking at the real Jaehyun at this very moment.

Not the guy you hated. Not the guy your best friend was dating. But instead the person who wanted to protect you from guys that only wanted to use you. A person who offered you company in class and shared his equipment with you. And a person whose cheekiness and affection he showed through childish acts because he didn’t know how to express his feelings otherwise.

This was not the person you were sure of knowing all along. Probably because you hadn’t even gotten to know him in the first place.

One arm now clung around his neck while with the other, you grabbed the pillow beside you. You threw your head back in excitement, his pushes coming in short intervals one after another, and he was hitting all the right spots with them.

Jaehyun propped his arms up to the left and right of him, lifting his upper body to gather all his strength in his groin area and stopped for a brief moment before he thrusted inside you with such force that it nearly knocked all air out of your lungs, and you couldn’t respond with anything else than moaning.

It felt so good, so… right. But how could something so wrong still feel so right?

Right now, you didn’t hate Jaehyun or your best friend the most, but yourself and the fact that you continued on and on. That you brought your hips up to meet his thrusts with hazy thoughts and his lips all over yours when he slowed down with his movements to dedicate himself to caressing your breasts.

You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue swirling over your buds, and you shook under him. Not because it felt cold, but because his tender caresses just felt so good. You didn’t have the feeling that he could do anything wrong with whatever he carried out, that was your impression about how well your bodies meshed together.

No, you didn’t hate Jaehyun. You had always only hated how he had presented himself to you. But there was so much more to him.

Sweat droplets showed on his forehead when he continued with the hard thrusts again, the sound of you both breathing heavily mixing together with the sloppy noises of your bodies moving against each other filling the room, but no matter how messy sex was, it was the most romantic thing you had experienced in a long time.

Your eye contact also didn’t break when Jaehyun arose above you, his sweaty chest glistening in the dim light that shone through your windows, and increased his pace even more. When he dropped his head and bit his lip in the process, you wrapped your arms around him and added pressure to your nether regions as you felt him approaching his heights.

It felt very good to you too, but you were by any means not as far as him yet, so you didn’t blame him when he came only a short moment after with a groan that sounded sexy as hell to you.

You held him tightly when he fell limply onto your chest, still breathing heavily from the orgasm that slowly faded. Staring at the ceiling, you smiled with him in your arms, just enjoying the moment when Jaehyun moved away from you.

“We’re not done here yet,” you saw him grin as he laid himself next to you, rolled onto the side and placed his head in his palms as he propped his elbow against the mattress.

You wondered what was to come when you felt his finger tips dragging from your thighs to your navel, then lower again and stopped right at your most sensitive spot.

“Oh!” you let out as he placed two fingers on your folds and started moving them up and down with your remaining juices as lube that made the intense feeling kick in almost immediately.

You screamed when he added pressure and now directed circling motions around the sensitive bundle of nerves. From your half-closed eyes, you witnessed him looking at you with such admiration but also cheekiness as you writhed and wreathed under him, yet spread your legs even wider as release was so close.

Jaehyun leaned in to you, his fingers not letting go of the continuity as he half covered your body with his and just kissed you passionately. Like this, he encountered first hand how the orgasm took over you, and you moaned into his mouth, riding it out against his hand.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when he wrapped his arms around you right after and pulled you onto his chest, and you drifted off into a slumber shortly after.

Even though the first tendencies of your bad consciousness set in before you closed your eyes, you decided that this would be the problem of tomorrow.

No, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun.

If anything, you should probably hate yourself.

___

“YES… YES… YESYESYES, OHMYGOD!”

You heard your friend from the other side of the wall, having rudely awakened you in the early morning hours. At least you thought so. But a glimpse at your phone through sleepy eyes told you that it was past 11am already.

Within a second, you were wide awake.

You were still naked, but the clothes on your floor only belonged to you, and the spot next to you in the bed was empty.

“OH!MY!GOD!.... YES! OH… OH.... AAAAH… OHOHOH… YES!!”

Jaehyun was gone. At least from your room.

Your best friend’s headboard constantly bumped against the wall, and you grabbed your pillow to cover your ears with it. You didn’t want to hear the sounds. Not because they stole your sleep, but because somehow, for the first time, you didn’t feel disturbed by the noise, but actually hurt.

In your mind, you imagined Jaehyun’s mesmerizing smile, the witty expression he was constantly wearing and his deep voice that had showed you for the first time last night that there was a certain softness within it.

You felt hurt, because you knew all the things from last night had been real between you two, yet he was still fucking your best friend mere hours later. What you had shared and felt had been special, yet he was still with her.

And suddenly, you felt hate again. But towards yourself. For betraying your best friend with him. But first and foremost, for betraying yourself.

You had never hated Jung Jaehyun.

You had always felt some certain kind of attraction towards him, but kept telling yourself you hated him to push him as far away from you as possible. If this wouldn’t be so wrong under these circumstances, this attraction would feel right and could blossom. But like this, you could never come to enjoy this feeling entirely.

Your relationship had been doomed from the very start, because given the wicked circumstances, you would never be able to form a healthy relationship. It was like a stain that would never vanish on a white sheet.

So you just decided to continue as usual. To keep this a secret between the both of you and just to carry on with your life.

And to hate Jung Jaehyun just a little more.

You just didn’t know how to feel and act towards your best friend without feeling so much… regret.

“Good morning.”

But the young man stepping out of your best friend’s room wasn’t Jaehyun. But Johnny.

You sat there in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your mouth agape. And then it started to rattle in your head.

Lately, there were times when your best friend had screamed the name “Jaehyun!” loudly during the act. Those were the times you had actually seen him the next morning. But the nights she hadn’t screamed a certain name, no one had ever come out. And those times, you had counted more than the ones with Jaehyun in the past weeks, just when their loud arguments started on a nearly daily basis.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked without greeting her good morning as you walked into her room.

“Oh, we had a fight last night,” she explained to you while getting herself dressed casually. “And then we broke up. I went away to be with Johnny after throwing him out, and we’ve only gotten back this morning. I hope he left last night already and didn’t stay here.”

“What?” you wondered.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“You actually already got over it as I’ve seen!”

“Oh, Johnny?”

“You’ve been fucking him for weeks already?” you provoked.

She shrugged again. “Perhaps a month… So what?”

You stood there, totally lost for words. “You’ve been crying about Jaehyun to me ever since you got together! That he flirted with other women, ditched you, went to parties and ignored you! And now you’re telling me you’ve been cheating on him for quite a while?! And this instagram story drama from last week?”

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed. “Okay, admittedly, I’m not an angel in this story, but he is by far neither! He was not. There were many things he has done wrong in the past. But then he actually started… doing nothing wrong. Being the picture perfect boyfriend without all these flaws and drama. And perhaps, this is not something that I want, so I started to look around elsewhere.”

“So…” You paused, still processing the shock. “Was it all an act? All the times you’ve cried to me over him lately while cheating behind his back?”

“Not an act, precisely,” she said reluctantly. “Yes, he explained every situation to me. And I was being dramatic over it for nothing, perhaps. I don’t know… I still enjoyed being with him though, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. I want to have men just… telling me I’m right, always coming back to me… what’s a relationship without fire? But Jaehyun didn’t want to do this anymore.”

In your head, you recalled everything that Jaehyun had told you. About there being two sides of the same coin, about you being so oblivious. All this time, he knew that she had cheated on him. He knew what you thought of him, yet he had never made a move to ever explain it to you.

But why?

“As he should,” you then stated. “How you treated him was awful!”

“Only because I cheated on him a few times?” she chuckled. “Come on!”

“I’m your best friend, and yet you lied to me! You twisted and turned stories so that you’d always be the one at right! But the truth is, you’re the bad person here. Not him.”

“Now what? He’s gone from our lives. Don’t care about him.”

But the truth was, you did. Now more than about her.

That was why, an hour later, you found yourself in front of his dorm. When he opened shortly after you had knocked, you stared at him, still gasping for air as you had run the entire way here, with all the memories from last night coming back with each step.

“She’s been cheating on you,” were the only words you brought out.

“I know.”

“For how long?” you asked.

“I assume for just as long.”

You breathed in heavily, not understanding a word. “But why did you stay with her?”

Jaehyun smiled meekly. “Because I don’t think I deserve a good person like you are.”

It ran hot and cold down your back. “I… I don’t understand.”

He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, and even though he seemed uncomfortable talking about his feelings, he still did.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend for her most times in this relationship, I admit this openly. We weren’t really good for each other and it destroyed me to the point that I wanted to change. But when I started being the boyfriend she had wished for, it wasn’t right either and she started cheating. So I just settled with it. Because I thought I screwed up to that point where I won’t be able to make anyone happy anymore and also don’t deserve the same in return. Even though I only wanted you...”

“You douche!” You stomped with your feet on the ground.

“What?” he returned perplexed with furrowed brows.

“Everyone deserves love and to love! And you’re not different from anyone else!”

His confusion got replaced with a mild smile. “You’re so kind, y/n. That’s one of the things I like the most about you. But you’re also oblivious.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, scrolled through his messenger and started playing a voice message from a very familiar person.

“Why do you even care about this bitch, Jaehyun?!” In the background, you heard music and other people talking. “She’s a stupid nerd, and I’ve only befriended her because she helps me studying and listens to my complains since we’re dorm mates, so don’t even waste a single thought about this party pooper!”

You stood there as though you had been rendered motionless. Your heart had dropped to your feet.

“This is from last night when I quickly went outside again to check whether you rode away safely with your uber and she couldn’t find me directly. That’s why we argued and broke up. No, it’s not the first time she’s talked about you like this.” He put his phone away. “I thought letting you hate me would make it easier for a kind person like you to keep their distance from someone like me. Because, in the end, I will only hurt you too. But the more I started to genuinely like you, the more I felt protective towards you. I couldn’t see her speaking about you like this anymore.”

Your breathing came in hitches as your whole world suddenly crashed over you. Your best friend wasn’t your best friend. She had probably never been.

You stumbled backwards, and Jaehyun stepped forward to grab you by your arm, but you pulled it away.

“I…. I just…” you stuttered. “I have to… talk to her.”

“Sure.”

The whole way home, you only cried.

Not over Jaehyun, but over the betrayal of someone you had considered your best friend, yet had hurt you in the most painful way like no man ever could. And the fact that you had been an asshole to her to the same extent after having slept with her boyfriend the same night they had broken up was probably the final straw.

You were no saint here. You had added to your both’s downfall just as much. And it hurt much more than any heartbreak you had experienced so far.

You had to sort your life out and right now, and amongst this chaos there was no place for Jaehyun in your life.

____

You put the last vase with dried flowers on your shelf, stepped backwards to your room’s door and inspected the final set up.

“Finished!” you praised yourself.

It had taken you three months to move to a new dorm, but this was your last step to a new chapter in your life.

You hadn’t had contact with your former best friend ever since your final conversation in which you had handed the keys over to her. The many conversations before had only consisted of screams, accusations and tears.

She had admitted to saying all those things about you, but also to genuinely have come like you. You weren’t so sure whether that was real or one of her lies again. You had admitted to sleeping with Jaehyun, and she would have forgiven you for that as she hadn’t been really in love with him anymore at this point, but you were sure you didn’t want either in your life anymore.

Your best friend because she had hurt you deeply, and Jaehyun because of your burdensome history. All of you had done so many wrong things, and you were only a bundle of toxic people together, so chaotic that you were better off apart from each other.

But you didn’t want to be this toxic kind of person anymore. So you moved out and left your old life behind.

You didn’t go to that class with Jaehyun anymore, and although you missed him, the touches of your joint night still present on your skin sometimes, you wanted to move on from even the mere imaginations of him as well. You were sure that you’d find a guy just like him, but you missed him wherever you went and couldn’t help but ask yourself “what if?”

The fact that he hadn’t reached out to you either made it easier, and as summer break came and passed, and the new semester started, you had kissed two news guys already, made a new friend group and were just overall happy.

But you still missed Jaehyun dearly and all the possibilities of what could have happened if only your timing had been right in life. Even if he wasn’t the right one for you.

“Is this seat taken?”

And then, one day, there he was again. Taking the seat next to you as though no time had ever passed between the two of you, smiling that mesmerizing smile you didn’t hate.

You only stared at him, and his kind expression didn’t break. When you moved your head to the front again where the professor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but to smile too. Because this wasn’t the expression of a bad person.

People changed, and just like good traits could turn into bad traits, a bad person could turn into a good one also. And they all deserved a second chance.

You had only known the Jaehyun from your best friend’s perspective, and then also his body. But even though you had gotten a glimpse of the real Jaehyun here and there, you didn’t quite know him entirely yet.

But you wanted to. The good, the bad, the real. Jaehyun wasn’t the right one for you, but such a thing didn’t exist. What mattered were only your feelings.

Because in fact, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun. At all.

[tharros-auris-black-asimi]

Warmth

Pairing: Alpha Beefy Bucky x Female Mutant Reader

Summary: Being paired off with Bucky Barnes on a mission was hard enough. Hell, the two of you being a part of Hydra a long time ago was already hard enough. But when the two of you are forced to seek shelter in an Avengers safehouse, it gets even worse.

Because there's only one freaking bed.

Will you survive the night with the grumpy Alpha by your side? Or will you rip your hair out?

Who knows. The nights are unpredictable.

What you do know is, is that Bucky Barnes is too fucking hot for his damn good.

Maybe you just might pull your hair out.

Warnings: Heavy A/B/O dynamics. Mentions of past torture from Hydra for both Bucky and the Reader. This Bucky is sort of a mix between CW!Bucky, (hence the beefy!Bucky), but also TFATWS!Bucky bc I love grumpy old man, sassy Bucky. Some angst/hurt/comfort, because I'm a hoe for angst. No heats/ruts in this lil fic, just good ole rough smut. Some biting and some mild blood too. This sex would be considered unprotected irl, but in the a/b/o verse, I don't think you'd need protection??? Who knows. Italics are for when Bucky and the Reader are talking in Russian. The Reader also has a nightmare, which ties back in with the whole mention of past torture from Hydra. If I missed any other warnings in this, let me know and I'll make sure to add them!

Additional Notes: This was written for @agentofbarnes's writing challenge! Congrats on 7k, Zee! I'm sorry this took so long. I started writing this in July, and let it marinate for far too long. But it's here now. I hope you enjoy!

All writing mistakes in this fic are mine, as usual.

Word Count: 4,602

Hell.

This was absolute pure fucking hell.

As you and the former Winter Soldier, James "Bucky" Barnes himself stared at the front door of one of the safehouses for the Avengers in case of emergencies, you couldn't help make eye contact with him.

Great. This was just great.

No one, not even Clint had told you that it would be snowing in freaking January in rural Ohio, of all places.

Then again, you had faintly remembered doing gymnastics before you had been taken by Hydra with some arrogant Alpha guy named Lance. He had been a real pain in your ass and you remembered you had made him cry once. After you had escaped from Hydra, you had bumped into him again. Funnily enough, he was still just as scared of you as he was all those years ago. Which, you know, was nice.

But what was not nice was the Alpha that was currently looking back at you. James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, Buck, White Panther, Jesus, Bionic Staring Machine- (the last three nicknames, all given to him by the Alpha Sam Wilson himself), scowled at you. His blue eyes even narrowed at you.

You wouldn't call what you and Bucky had a friendship. You two weren't even enemies. Heck, colleagues? Teammates? That was just putting it lightly, the relationship you had with the Alpha. Even when you had been captured and brainwashed into serving Hydra, the two of you had never crossed paths. It had been only after Hydra had fallen, did the two of you actually meet in person. Other than that, nothing. Nada. Nope. No with a capital N.O.

"Come on, let's go." Bucky all but grumbled. Realizing he didn't have the key to get inside, he looked at you. Like you had the key or something.

"James, I don't have the key." Bucky groaned. "Do you have a bobby pin, Omega? Something?" He asked in Russian. You plucked a bobby pin from your hair. A stray piece of hair fell. Putting the flat side in, you managed to unlock the door. You turned to look at him, giving him a toothy grin.

"Learned that from Pit Pocketing for Dummies, 101."

Bucky rolled his eyes at that. You just sniggered as you opened the door, greeted by cool air smacking against your face.

It made you shiver.

Because, unlike Bucky, you did not have any of that good ole supersoldier serum in your veins.

You were a mutant that could control water. Sometimes, you wished that you had the ability to control fire, because then, at least you could be warm in such dire situations such as these.

Taking your shoes off and putting them at the door, you surveyed the place.

It was a small house. Like a cozy little cottage. Probably only had at least two rooms at the max. It certainly gave off that vibe. There was a fireplace in the living room. A fully furnished kitchen, complete with a little wooden table with benches instead of individual chairs near the window.

Your grip on your bag of clothes became tighter as you realized that you needed to take a shower. Your stomach grumbled, alerting Bucky that you were hungry. Your comms had died. The two of you could contact no one until you charged them.

Which meant for at least tonight, or whenever the snowstorm outside stopped, you only had Bucky Barnes for company.

Well. That certainly would be pleasant.

"Go and shower first. I'll make dinner."

***

After your shower, you walked back into the kitchen, your sweet smell that reminded Bucky of deserts that his Ma used to make for him and his younger sisters back in Brooklyn drifted towards his nose. Thanks to the serum, he had already smelled it a mile away.

Cinamon rolls. Apple turnovers. Apple pies. Pumpkin pies. Bucky felt his Alpha rumble at the smell. Even Winter stirred at the familiar scent he loved so much.

When Bucky had gotten the trigger words wiped away from him due to Princess Shuri's genius, the Winter Soldier hadn't gone away from him. Rather, Winter had become a part of Bucky. Winter had been what Bucky became to survive Hydra. Winter was Bucky, only darker. More possessive. The deepest, darkest thing of him that the Wakandan Elders had helped him find again and reconcile with.

It was during times like this, making dinner in the kitchen that reminded him so much of his time back in Wakanda. Taking care of his farm and his pet goats, (that he sadly couldn't bring back with him when coming back to America), that he missed the most. It was domestic, in a way. He could almost feed into the fantasy, the thought that you were his Omega, his Bondmate, and that he was just making dinner for you.

From an outsider's perspective, it might've looked like Bucky didn't like you. That he just tolerated you. Treated you like how he treated everyone else in his life.

But it was the contrary.

He liked you.

He liked you very, very much. Other than Steve, Natalia, and heck, even the winged pigeon- you were one of the only people to truly understand him. You were probably even on the same playing field as Natalia, because you knew what it was like to be controlled by the Russian government. You held him at an arm's length at most, and you never treated him like he was some fragile, broken man. When you treated his wounds, you never fretted like other Omega's. Nor did you dottle. Ask him if he was okay every five seconds. It was disappointing in a way.

Bucky turned his head, just as you hopped yourself onto the counter, away from the conduction stove.

The smell of butter pasta was filling your nose. You watched with rapt attention as Bucky shut off the stove, grabbed the freshly grated cheese, and dumping it in. To hell with calories. Stirring quickly for a few seconds, he stopped. Turning his head to look at you, he gave you a low smirk. His scent of something sandalwood, oceany filling your nose. It made your Omega preen.

"Get some bowls, will ya doll? And forks too." Hopping off of the countertops, he heard a chirping, yet sarcastic reply.

"Yes, Sarge."

He felt his pants tighten at the thought. Hearing you grab all of the stuff, he swallowed.

Not that he would tell you that.

No.

Never.

***

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking with me."

So, as luck would have it. There weren't two bedrooms.

Nope.

There was only one.

Not only that, the entire room was fully furnished. A closet was on the left side of the door, against the wall. There was a window and just a bit to right, in the middle of the room, was a queen-sized bed, all made up with all the fluffiest blankets, comforters, and pillows imaginable.

"And you're sure this is the only room?" Bucky said. "Yeah! It's the only one, James. It's either this or the couch. And I'm not sleeping on the couch. It's too cold. Whoever built this safehouse didn't have any heaters built in either. Fuck, is this how I die? Freezing to death?" Your voice was getting higher with concern.

Bucky just rolled his eyes.

"No, doll. You're not to freeze to death. We're going to share that bed."

You turned your head towards him like he had just grown a second head. "What?" you exclaimed. "No. No, no, no. Noooo. James. Nu-uh. Uh-uh. I'm not going to sleep with you in my tank top and underwear. the least you've seen me in is a pair of short shorts and a tank top."

Bucky inhaled deeply through his nostrils.

Get yourself together Barnes.

Don't throw her over your shoulder.

Don't do that.

"You're a water mutant, doll. You're not a fire mutant. You aren't a supersoldier either. I'm not letting you freeze to death. I'll keep you warm all night. Better yet, don't sleep in your tank top and shorts. Our body heats will do just fine." Bucky snapped at you. You were still trying to collect your thoughts.

And then the realization, the reality of your situation, smacked you right across the face.

Bucky was asking you to sleep naked.

With him.

In the same frigging bed together.

Oh you were going to die. You were going to die and go up to wherever other spirits went to after they died. You weren't really all that religious nor spiritual.

But tonight though?

Yeah. Maybe you believed. Maybe a little.

Just the slightest bit.

"Okay, okay," you grumbled, "I won't wear any clothes. Better yet, I'll even give you a show. That'll even out the odds, James."

***

Warm.

He was just oh so warm.

Your back was flush against his front, feeling skin-on-skin.

You had stopped shivering about an hour ago.

Bucky had scouted the safehouse, to see if there was actually a heater, in case you had missed anything.

Nope.

There were no heaters in the safehouse.

Absolutely none.

Not to mention, all of the blankets weren't as thick. From what Bucky had observed a few hours ago after dinner while you had tackled the task of doing the dishes, was that the safe house had been abandoned for a while. It was either that, or nobody had stocked this place up for a while.

He had chosen the latter.

With his strong arms wrapped around your stomach, he pulled you close. You were asleep. Dead asleep. Bucky felt and saw your body rise up and down as you slept, your breaths all evened out.

It was nice, almost. Outside was quiet. Bucky could hear other than your breathing only the soft wind blowing due to the snowstorm outside.

For a moment, Bucky was lulled into a sense of calm. His mind was clear. His Alpha and Winter were quiet. He didn't have to fret. Or look over his shoulder. Didn't have to second guess himself or his actions anymore.

And then he heard it.

Soft whimpers coming from the sweet-smelling Omega that he was currently holding in his arms. You had begun to squirm, arms thrashing out. Your legs smacked on his knees, trying to desperately claw yourself free from his tightening grip on you.

"... I'll be good... just don't chuck me in the freezer again... please sir... I hate it there... please don't chuck me in the freezer, please..." you were sobbing in your sleep. You started to blubber, continually trying to claw yourself out of Bucky's grip. The metal plates of his Vibrainum arm shifted as his metal fingers tightened around your stomach. Bucky knew not to apply too much pressure on you- you weren't like him, Steve, or Natalia. You didn't have the serum in you.

"Doll? Hey, doll. C'mon, wake up. It's not real." Bucky tried shaking you awake to no avail. You had continued to thrash in his arms.

Sniffling loudly, your Omega was thrashing in her cage, in the confines of your mind. She was whispering, yelling at you to wake up.

"Omega. Wake up."

Bucky didn't mean to use his Tone. But you were being so hysterical, shaking, and crying to the point where it was beginning to worry him. Your sweet scent had begun to twist and turn into something more burnt. Singed. It made his eyes water.

You stopped thrashing in his grip. Your body froze up at his use of his Tone. Your Omega stopped throwing her temper tantrum too. She had paused for a second.

Her Alpha had given her a Command.

So why wouldn't she listen?

Peering from her cage in the confines of your mind, she sighed happily.

Alpha. Alpha cares about us. She whispered in your ear.

Slowly returning to consciousness, you struggled to know where you were for a second.

You had been having a nightmare.

A full-fledged nightmare.

You hadn't had one of those in a while.

"... Where am I?" Your voice was gentle but confused.

You still didn't know if you were still in that godforsaken Hydra facility or not. But you just wanted to make sure.

"Here, doll. You're here with me. We're in Ohio, remember? Sharin' one bed together cause I don't wanna be a bad Alpha and letcha freeze to death." Bucky said.

You couldn't help it. You snuggled into him, hearing a deep rumble coming from his chest. Bucky's Alpha was pleased. Very pleased. Winter was quiet. Which surprised Bucky. The little shit was usually more vocal about his own needs these days.

For a moment, it felt okay. You felt that weird fog lifting. Your brain slowly settling in your current surroundings. Your sweet, filling scent that had twisted and burnt into something smoky and burnt was slowly wearing off.

You were still a little shaken up. You could still hear your screaming echoing in your head. Your voice trembling, and because you didn't know if you were still stuck in the facility, "How long?"

"Not long."

Bucky watched as you lifted your head up, blinking once. And then twice. And then again, just to be sure.

Your body felt like it still wasn't physically here. Your body still felt like it was back in the cryo chamber, stuck in that damn freezer. Bucky watched your chest heave up and down. Taking in deep breaths.

Then you flopped right back into your previous spot, your back facing his front. Bucky pulled you back with his metal arm. You heard the metal plates in his arm readjust and move. You couldn't help it. Your vagina throbbed at the sound. Chewing on your bottom lip, you wiggled a little bit.

A deep rumble had come from Bucky.

The metal-armed Alpha had pushed a little bit of his weight down on you. Making you feel all warm and safe with the sandalwood and salty scent wrapped all around you like a cocoon.

You wiggled up against him again, trying to get comfortable. Your eyes closed.

A deep groan came from Bucky.

Was he asleep?

You stopped moving.

Another groan came from Bucky. His arms were wrapped around you. Not tightly, but still. It was kinda nice in a way. You could feel every muscle on his broad chest against your back.

Maybe Bucky had the right idea to sleep naked after all.

You shifted again. Trying to wiggle out a little out of the embrace.

A deep growl rumbled from Bucky. His grip on you tightened. You squirmed against him again.

Voice gravelly, "Stop moving."

Your eyes flew open.

He was awake.

And you had been-

Letting out a hiss, Bucky pushed his entire weight onto you and grinded his half-hard cock against your ass cheeks. Not even caring about if his entire weight would crush you, because of the serum.

He saw red.

Pure absolute red.

You choked. A needy little whimper filled the room.

Bucky's metal hand traveled down, all the way down to your pussy, his knee pushing your legs apart. You were panting in anticipation, eyes wide as saucers. His metal fingers were shoved deep, all the way to the knuckles. A pitiful whine left your lips. A needy whine too.

When he entered you, a choked sob escaped from your lips. Your hands curled into fists, eyes rolling into the back of your head as the formerly brainwashed assassin let out a growl.

"So sick and tired of you teasin' me," was what the former Winter Soldier growled under his breath, hissing at the way your cunt wrapped around him. Slick was smeared around your inner thighs, and you couldn't help but sob at the feeling of being so full.

Bucky was groaning above you, his hands nearing shaking.

Never had he ever thought he could ever get to do this again.

Because Bucky very much still liked sex. He very much so was a sexual creature. Being inside you gave him flashes of his life before Hydra. It made him remember a much skinner, smaller Steve. A much duller, war-stricken Brooklyn. It made him remember the giggles of Omegas. It made him remember his Ma's cooking growing up. Rebecca's giggles in his ears. Just like the old times.

Not for the first time in his life, he didn't feel trapped.

He felt free.

This was freeing to him.

And when he began to move, position his hips against your back, smacking roughly. Good enough to leave marks in the morning.

Wet, squishing noise echoed noisily every time he bottomed out of you. Every thrust in, filling you, completing you. It sent you gasping and crying out into the pillows. His hands- both metal and flesh, reached under you, to grab ahold of your breasts in a tight grip that only made you sob for more.

"More, more, more, please James, please-"

Something snapped in him.

Broke.

Bucky had never felt this feral before. The last time he felt this feral had been the hours when he first presented.

You whined loudly when he slid out of you, crying out at the empty feeling. Your Omega screeched in alarm.

Why had her Alpha stopped? Why?

Grabbing ahold of your legs, he lifted them up. Before he thrusted back in again, filling you up to the brim. It was deeper than last time, and his cock hit that spongy part. Hit your g-spot so good that you screamed into the pillows.

You were coming. You were coming so fast, that deep coil inside you snapping like a bomb wire being cut that you never got the chance to feel your programs. Your body jolted, spasmed. Your legs lifted off of the bed or at least tried to. Bucky's body weight was still keeping you down. So all you could do was grip the bedsheets when Bucky started to pound into you again, taking all he could.

You couldn't help yourself. You glanced back, just to take a glimpse of him.

James Buchanan Barnes looked downright feral and your pussy clenched around him deeper at the sight. as if she knew.

Every thrust made him go deeper, hitting your cervix every time. It made your second orgasm piggyback off of your first one, sobbing into the pillows. It was only when your second orgasm came, your walls clenching down onto his cock that Bucky's teeth sank into your shoulder, shattering, breaking the skin there. The taste of copper filling his mouth. Bucky let out a grunt as he came. Filling you up with so much of his jizz that he was sure it would drip from you tomorrow morning.

Bucky lifted his mouth from your shoulder.

Pants filled the room as the two of you tried to regain yourselves.

Bucky shifted, moving off of you and lying beside you. His eyes weren't black anymore. They were back to their normal blue. They reminded you of the sea in the morning on a peaceful day.

Your hand came to touch his face. Your hand faltered, trembled though. Because you were nervous.

"It's okay," his voice was deeper, huskier. It made your pussy throb. "You can touch me. It's okay."

Your hands came to touch, cup his jaw. You leaned in, pressing your lips against his. His lips were soft. Your lips moved together, his tongue slipping into your mouth. The kiss became deeper. You hadn't expected it to become deeper. You had been just going for an innocent kiss.

You swore.

Like- you really did.

You didn't expect to be fully making out with James Buchanan Barnes.

But it wasn't like you were complaining though.

Because you weren't.

Bucky was the first one to pull away. He could see how red, bruised your lips looked. He didn't recoil from your gentle touch on his face. He welcomed it. He truly did. Hands holding your hips, he looked at you.

His lips traveled down to your mating gland. He touched over it with his tongue, giving it a broad lick. His teeth sank in, piercing the skin.

Your ears popped. You cried out. His grip on your hips didn't falter.

"Yes, yes, yes," you gasped. Bucky lifted his mouth up from your gland, before sinking his teeth back in and biting again. Making his mark all that deeper.

It was only when he lifted his mouth from your gland, wiped your blood off of him with the blanket did you come at him, sinking your teeth into his gland. It made him grunt, even groan. His flesh hand came to your head, pushing your head down, making you sink your teeth even deeper into his gland.

"Yesss," hissed Bucky, his flesh hand sinking into your hair, gripping it. "Deeper, doll. Go deeper."

Winter and his Alpha completely agreed.

Theirs.

You were theirs.

After what seemed an eternity, you lifted your head up. Wiping your mouth on the blanket, you spoke.

"I missed you. What did you do to get us paired on this mission? I thought I was going with Sam," you said to your Alpha. A smirk stretched over Bucky's lips. "Ah," your Alpha said, still smirking, "I might've put something in his drink to make him vomit his guts out. He got sick."

A noise came from you.

"You gave him food poisoning? James!" You scolded him. Bucky leaned back against the headboard. "Don't worry doll, it'll wear off when we come back to the Compound. Bird Brain won't even know what hit him."

You shook your head in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable, Sasha. Did you teach Natalia that trick, too? Hmm? She and all of your Widow students?"

Bucky was still grinning ear to ear at you when he responded back.

"Well little bird, someone had to teach them. After all, I was their teacher. They all called me Yasha. Speaking of my Widow students..." he trailed off in Russian. You looked at him.

"You've contacted one of the KBG? About that leaked Russian tape with the orange man that is, unfortunately, our President?" He asked you. You nodded. "Yeah, Sasha. Everything's going as planned. Although, I think assassinating the orange man would've been a much better option. We would've gone in there and made it a done deal by now! Fuckin' Steve and his righteous self." You grumbled unhappily.

"Hmm. It would've been great as a date night. Don't you think, doll?" Bucky drawled. You gave a serious nod.

"Although... seeing him freak out on Twitter is much, much better. The tea is better when it's hot." You grinned. Bucky just let out a sigh.

"I'm restricting your phone privileges. And your TV privileges. You need to stop watching those drama channels, Mega."

A noise of deep discomfort came from you.

"Sasha!" you whined, "then what will I do while you're gone on missions?"

"Wait for me to come back?" Bucky suggested. You just sighed. Even shook your head in fondest. You happily snuggled up to your Alpha, your nose rubbing up against your Mate's gland. "I always wait for you to come back, Sasha. I wait and I worry. I love you, James."

A deep rumble came from your Mate.

"I love you too, Little Omega."

Your head peeked up.

"So, can we tell the rest of the team when I leak the tape?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with mischief.

Bucky burst out laughing.

"Yes, yes, yes. We can tell them once you've wreaked havoc, Omega."

"Good." You were nodding seriously, in complete agreement. "It'll be fun. And... also, I forgot to tell you."

The joyful expression on Bucky's face was suddenly replaced with one of worry.

"What? What is it?" He asked gently. "When you were gone for your last mission two months ago... I... I came off of my suppressants. I'm ready, James. I want a family with you."

Shock flickered over Bucky's face. And then he was shoving you back into the bed with a shriek coming from you.

"When's your pre-heat?" He demanded.

You felt it. A cramp. It made you whimper.

"N-Now, James. Now," you stammered. Your Alpha pulled your legs apart roughly before he thrusted back into you, making you gasp.

"Say it," he hissed. "Say you want it. Say you want my knot. Say you want my pups."

"I want it, James." Your voice was a low whisper, even staggering a little bit. "I want your knot. I want your pups. Please. Please, Sasha."

His hands, both metal, and flesh gripped your shoulder tight as that vein of his neck nearly popped. His eyes were black with want. Soon, his Rut would be upon him and he'd breed you. Put his pup in you. You'd carry his pup. He'd have the pack that Winter and his Alpha desperately wanted after all these years.

A whine came from you when he pulled out, only to let out a scream when he thrusted back in. Hitting that part of you that made your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your mouth fell open, but no words came out.

His pace was brutal, not even letting you hold onto him. Your hands were left to grip the bedsheets again. You gripped them so tight that your knuckles turned white and you thought that they were going to pop.

Bucky continued to push, continued to shove his ejaculate deeper and deeper inside of you. A mixture of your slick and his ejaculate smeared all over your thighs and trickled down your legs, and you just didn't know what was happening. Your hindbrain was telling you that this was what was needed. That your designation wanted, nay, demanded this. After all the shit you had gone through, your Omega had found her Alpha and now, now she was determined to have a family. Have the pack she desperately desired.

"Mine."

A harsh thrust made you sob.

"You're mine now. I waited for you for so long. Wanted you for so long. You're mine now. Got my Mark. Got my clothes in your nest. Gonna give you my name. Gonna give you my pups. You're mine. All mine. Say you're mine. Say it!"

You came screaming. Your orgasm making you see white. Bucky continued slamming into you, the wet, squishing noises coming from your pussy becoming louder and louder the more he pushed in. Your teeth sank into his flesh shoulder, shattering and piercing the skin there. You tasted copper in your mouth.

Bucky came with a shout. He shoved you back completely, making you shriek. And then he was leaning in again, sinking his teeth into your gland. Making another deep mark. It made you fall limp into the bed as his knot swelled, locking the two of you in place.

He lifted his head.

Being inside you... knotted inside of you... it was bliss. It was just as good as cockwarming. His cock all nestled deep inside of you whenever you two would sneak off to sleep together.

"Bite me again. Give me your mark, Omega." he panted. Slowly, your head went up, you slowly sat up, before taking in a deep breath and sinking your teeth back into his gland.

Home.

You had brought Bucky home. He held you tight, whispering in your ear how much he loved you and how much of a good Omega you were.

"I love you Omega." His voice was rough.

Lifting your head from his gland. Blood still trickling down the corners of your mouth. You offered him a smile. A genuine one. One that made his stomach all fluttery.

"I love you too, Alpha."

[quarter-life-crisis2]

Dread!!! Is the best way to describe how I felt reading this. Why is he lying? It’s all so cute and fluffy and mature yet something feels like it’s about to bubble over

Also, haven’t seen or spoken to her in years? So the person has broken up with whoever they were…??

So then the question is: is it an existing OC, or a different one? The cigarette narrows it down a little bit from the existing ones right. Nari I’m pretty sure doesn’t smoke and neither does Kaya from what I remember.

We know Dilara does when she’s stressed, she also playing video games, with JK as well, they get along and are friends sorta at this point in her story. Also, we have Tae cheating so that kinda adds an additional possibility of … can’t find a good word… tumultuous behaviour?? She’s my main suspect, thought it’s hard to picture something going on… also this would mean that the photo is pre military, and she’s not been around for a while since they haven’t spoken? So Dilara and Tae breakup era? I know you won’t confirm anything I’m just brainstorming.

Also, upon a further look into the chronological order of the stories, Tae x Dilara is all happening right before (ish) Jk x Lia, so timeline, it does make sense that it would be her, and they have been broken up since. But she’s in a photo happy by his side? So they somehow makeup enough for a social as a couple yet something goes down with JK and they breakup again? Still missing pieces for sure. I can’t quite remember the literal time passing, but it’s been at the very least 18 months of enlistment and the entire Lia relationship….

There’s Miso who also smokes, but I’m not sure she likes video games nor if she’s ever close to jk, so she remains a weak contender for now.

Also unsure on Chae given i don’t think she smokes? But she is young in the story so maybe later? And Lia says they look like they know each other a long time? So with that it could be both Chae and Sooah since they both have history… technically Nari could fit here but I don’t see her smoking… nor involved with JK, but maybe I’m wrong.

It could also be another unknown person… jk, being the youngest doesn’t help since they’re all older brothers, but based on the best friend comment, I would narrow down to Jimin and Tae? Their friendships are probably most developed in the au, and age wise it would make more sense? So with this I am a tad more suspicious of Sooah because I can kinda see that fit the existing timeline more, since her and Jimin are not together. So the photo could be deceiving, showing their chemistry. So she could have a thing with JK, and while they shouldn’t, it’s less intense.

Or could it still be Dilara, and it happened right before enlistment, so the comeback is causing tensions because of it?

So the question is: is the cigarette a clue or trying to throw us off on purpose with the detail?

Ah I’m going crazy here.

I love Lia, I don’t like it when JK lies and looks longingly at the photo of another woman. I’m suspicious as well as to what he’s feeling. I don’t doubt his love for his gf but brooo what’s the deal here why are you being sus what are you up to??? I’m concerned.

I could feel my skin tingle with anxiety with her at the end, that would really play on my mind, because she’s understanding and mature but him being closed off and odd would make me question if I’m being blind. I think they should’ve discussed it by now in their relationship, no? Since he wants her to move in? Is it just shame? What’s up????

Ah the stress!

I’m so glad they’re back though, they’re the first couple I read before I binged them all and became your personal fan girl, so it’s like going back to my roots.

Can’t wait for any future stories on all the members as usual and I hope you’re doing well!!

PS he feels bad looking in his hyung s eyes…. So does the other member know or it’s just his guilt? Either way this adds a level of tension and issues within the group, which we haven’t reaaallyyyy experienced, they’ve been an united front mainly, even when holding each other accountable and so on…. So much to learn and discover

Unfinished Business (Jungkook x OC)

Summary: Lia hates leaving things unfinished - something Jungkook knows a thing or two about.

Pairing: Jungkook x OC

Genre: Fluff, angst (but not the kind you think)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5.4 K

Warnings: language, tattoos and needles, a lot of ambiguity

A/N: Writing for the OG couple after a long while. Highly recommended reading (or re-reading) The Fifth Part 1 and 2, or at least Part 2 for sure. Contains a lot of references to the past. Takes place post-military enlistment, a few months after Honey.

Tagging: @bbl32 @ggukkieland @bangtannoonalvg @pb-n-juju @juciu @jeoncookie-bts @quarter-life-crisis2 @dreaming-with-happiness @meirkive @kflixnet (italics cannot be tagged. If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment or ask)

Listen to: "suspicious minds" by elvis presley

jungkook masterlist | main masterlist

It’s only seven am, but Lia’s focus has already been stolen. 

Clutching a cup of hot coffee and dressed in nothing but Jungkook’s t-shirt, she leans against the kitchen doorway of his new apartment, pensively surveying the last remaining boxes that need to be unpacked. They aren’t too big; all the major work was done yesterday, including unwrapping, decorating and cleaning up. The three cartons left in the corner of the living room, one of them marked Fragile, can’t take too much time or effort.

But Lia can’t handle things left unfinished. 

Draining her cup, she places it on the kitchen mantle and retrieves a pair of scissors, getting to work. The first box is living room utilities; a key holder, fridge magnets, a few chargers. She moves them all to their correct locations, trying to make as little noise as possible so as to not wake Jungkook. 

A lot of the heavy lifting yesterday had been done by him; even though he’d seemed to enjoy it, he’d been exhausted by the end of the night. As determined as he’d still been, by the end Lia could tell his energy was declining, especially as his hints to get her to move in with him began becoming less and less subtle.

She’s rummaging through the second box, filled mostly with other knick knacks, when Jungkook emerges from the bedroom, squinting sleepily and pulling on a t-shirt. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, voice thick with sleep. He clears his throat.

“It’s no problem,” she replies absently, glancing up at him. “There’s coffee in the machine.” 

The sound of his feet padding into the kitchen fades away slightly as she continues unpacking. The second box has only the dregs of a bachelor’s past in it, including a remote that seems to belong to nothing and a half-empty box of condoms. Deciding to let Jungkook deal with it, she reaches for the last box just as he joins her on the floor.

“Okay, I don’t know where to place these,” she tells him, gesturing to the carefully bubble-wrapped photo frames. “I mean, I can try, but -” She scans the entertainment unit around the television, noting space for at least eight or ten frames. “This seems like something you should decide.”

“You can, too,” he offers, picking out a frame and unwrapping it. “Half the pictures are of you,” he points out, flashing her a toothy grin.

“They’re with me, not of me,” she corrects him, even as she takes the frame from him and admires the picture. It’s of them seated on the edge of a go-kart, in racing overalls and with breathless grins. “This was a fun day.”

“Yeah. The cars were faster than I expected.” Jungkook is quiet for a moment before placing the picture down and tilting his head towards the box. “How many are there in total? I’m not even sure all of them will fit.”

“Sure they will.” Lia drags the box closer and they begin unwrapping the pictures one by one, the memories making them chuckle occasionally. Despite the fact that a large number of them don’t include her, it’s strangely endearing to view glimpses of Jungkook’s youth, his friends and his success.

“This one should go right in the middle,” he decides, holding up a framed picture of the day he’d taken Lia home to meet his parents for the first time. Jungkook had dragged her to the centre of the group, his parents on either side of them, and his brother behind them right after he’d set the timer on the camera.

“It’s cute,” she agrees, “but shouldn’t you put this one up there, too?” she asks, holding up a picture of him with his group members. “Wasn’t this your first award?”

“Oh, yeah…”

“There’s probably space for both.”

“What about this one, though? This was in Wembley…”

They continue debating between what must be at least fifteen frames, eventually standing up to start arranging them on the shelf. 

“Wait, you want to do them all now?” he asks a bit incredulously, eyes wide.

“It’s not that many, Kook,” she tells him, patting his shoulder encouragingly. “We’ve unpacked everything else - do you really want just one box to lie around in the living room?”

“I don’t mind.”

“Really.”

“Let me say that differently: I don’t mind.”

Lia struggles to suppress a smile at his cheeky response and picks up another handful of frames from the box, moving to the shelf. “You got me. I don’t like loose ends. Now can we do this? Come on, you’ve always said you wanted one of these in your living room,” she reminds him. “You finally have it.”

Jungkook sighs dramatically but joins her, for she’s not wrong, and picks up a picture of himself and Namjoon at the United Nations. “Okay, let’s see…” Filled with concentration, he scours the shelf and finally picks a spot near the top. “There,” he says, carefully placing it at an angle and turning around with a flourish. “Okay, what’s next?”

She chuckles and hands him a picture of BTS on stage, and they get back to work. Eight more carefully arranged pictures later, both of them stand back to admire their handiwork.

Lia nudges his side gently. “It looks good, don’t you think?”

“It does… but I’d imagined a lot more pictures, to be honest.” He looks down at her inquiringly. “We have more, right?”

“At least ten,” she assures him. “Any particular events you want to put up? People or birthdays or anything…?” She rummages through the box and retrieves a few more frames, moving to arrange them on the sofa so they can both look at them.

“This one for sure,” says Jungkook after a moment, pointing at a picture of himself and a couple of his band members. “It was after Coachella - such a fun night. This one, with you in Incheon,” he adds, like it’s obvious. “This one, backstage.”

“Was it a special concert?”

“No, but I think I look good in it,” he admits sheepishly. “Or is that too conceited? You know what, forget I said -”

“I agree, completely,” she interrupts him seriously, swiping the picture up from under his nose and placing it next to a frame of Jungkook with Seokjin. She pauses at the sight of her boyfriend in the first one, looking dapper in a suit at the engagement party she’d attended as his date. In the second, Jungkook’s hair is thick and lush, falling onto his forehead with ease, his face shiny and alight with post-concert adrenaline. “Looks good, no?”

Jungkook grins. “If you insist. What about those?”

Lia takes stock of the remaining. “This one is nice… oh, this one is, too - but it might become repetitive… why do you have so many pictures with Namjoon? Okay, wait - this one, for sure. Oh - and this group picture.” She hands half of them to Jungkook and starts arranging the rest. 

“Perfect.” 

At his proclamation, both of them step back again to survey their progress. “Looks great, babe. We can get rid of the box and finally clear -” She breaks off when she sees a few frames still in the box. “Wait, what about these?”

“No more space.”

Lia frowns. “Huh,” she utters softly, tucking her hair behind her ears and reaching for the pictures. One is of Jungkook and Bang PD, but there’s already another one of them on the shelf, so she lets it go. The second is a slightly unfocused one of him at dinner with a few friends, while the third is the group picture she’d handed to him a couple of minutes ago. 

She holds it up to show him. “You’re not putting this up?” 

“What?” He glances at the picture and shakes his head. “No… it’s really crowded and you can’t see anyone in it. Besides, it’s not even a special event,” he adds.

She looks back down at it. It’s clearly taken at someone’s house - and at a party, judging by the attire. There are definitely a lot of people, but crowded might be a bit of an overstatement. There are about ten or twelve people at most, some sitting on a sofa and the rest standing behind it, almost everyone clutching glasses with varying levels of drink and smiling into the camera.

Even through the motionless image, the air of mild intoxication and friendship and fun is palpable. Almost all the members of BTS are in the picture, but the rest are a mixture of unfamiliar boys and girls, most of whom Lia doesn’t think she’s ever met. Jungkook is towards the side of the sofa, looking younger than she’s ever known him, with his friend Mingyu on one side and a girl on the other, perched on the arm of the couch. 

Lia’s gaze lingers on Jungkook; this picture is pre-military, clearly, before the group went on hiatus to enlist. His eyes are shining, his hair thick and long, the lip ring glinting in the dim light. She spots various members of BTS; Jimin’s infectious smile, Namjoon’s dimple, Taehyung’s arrogantly handsome expression. All the other pictures with the group members on the shelf are at events - tours, shoots, engagements, the White House. This one is the most candid - the only candid one. 

She bites her lip; she knows reuniting for a comeback wasn’t the cakewalk Jungkook tried to pass it off as. From the snippets she’s picked up from him and the way her marketing team at Hybe has been working on it since before she and Jungkook even met, it’s been clear that the members have been approaching it with different states of mind - and it’s no surprise that Jungkook might be struggling with it the most. 

She watches him saunter into the kitchen and duck behind the fridge door. She’d never wanted to push him, especially about a part of his life she didn’t really know, but maybe that wasn’t the right way to go about it.

“Maybe we can fit it next to the one of you and Namjoon at the UN,” she suggests. “There’s space there. Or we can replace the one of you and your boxing instructor?”

“I like that one,” replies Jungkook without looking up, now busy assembling breakfast. “Do you want ham?”

“Sure, thanks,” she says absently. Glancing down at the picture again, she shakes her head slightly. It looks like a still from a movie. “It’s a really nice picture, Kook.”

“They’re all nice pictures, but something or the other would get cut,” he says reasonably. “These three are the least nice ones, I guess.”

“It was nice enough to get framed,” she points out. She knows she’s being persistent but it’s most unlike Jungkook to deliberately exclude a picture with his friends, especially the members of BTS. “Even the colour palette would look great with the rest. I think you should consider it.”

Jungkook sucks a bit of sauce off the tip of his finger. “It’s my shelf,” he says simply.

There’s a line, a line beyond which she’s sure her sweet and patient boyfriend can snap. Lia doesn’t think she’s there yet but a part of her is curious to see how far she can take this - and how concerning the situation is.

“Jungkook,” she begins, her tone gentler than before, “is something wrong? Because I thought everything was starting to go back to normal.”

He pauses before sighing softly. “You’re right,” he says finally, looking up but not quite meeting her eyes. “Everything’s okay now. You should put up that picture.” He gives her a small smile and goes back to the sandwiches.

Lia obliges, but something continues nagging at her. Jungkook is an open book, but this topic feels so out of reach to her that she can’t even begin to know where to start. As their comeback rehearsals and studio sessions have increased in frequency, he’s started to reach home later and later, looking more relieved and happy each time. She wonders if it’s still not enough for him, if something has changed so irreversibly that things aren’t bad - they’re just different.

But there are other things to do today.  

“This might be the coolest thing we’ve done together,” says Jungkook excitedly. He slows the car, searching for a parking spot. When Lia doesn’t answer, he frowns. “You don’t agree?”

She winces. “I don’t think it’s the coolest.”

“Can you name a cooler thing we’ve done?”

“I can name, like, twenty.”

Jungkook huffs. “Do you really not want to do this?” he whines, his shoulders slumping.

“Of course, I do,” she answers immediately, squeezing his arm, her fingers pale against his dark tattoo sleeve. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Are you sure? Because it’s really not a big deal, we don’t have to -”

“I know that, Kook,” she interrupts him patiently. “I want to, I promise. I mean, it was kind of my idea,” she adds.

“What?” He glances at her incredulously. “I suggested couple tattoos, like, one month after we started dating.”

“Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best strategy,” she mutters wryly. “But, I meant, the design of the tattoos was my idea.”

“That’s true,” he allows. “And it’s a nice design. Very…” He breathes in dramatically. “Very us. Our core. A lot of history there,” he points out, grinning.

“And the least cheesy design I could think of.” She pinches his cheek as he slides into a parking spot, unable to resist. “Also one where if we break up, mine won’t look strange.”

“Wow, way to ruin it, Lee-lee,” he mutters, scowling as he switches off the car. “That’s it - we’re switching. I’m getting the basketball, you’re getting the basket.”

“What? Absolutely not,” argues Lia as she climbs out of the car. “I’m the one who came up with it; I’m getting the ball.”

“No, now I don’t want the basket. Why can’t you get it?”

“Because it’ll make no sense, an empty basket,” she points out, walking alongside him. “You have enough tattoos that it won’t stand out. Oh, and also - I actually play basketball?”

“That doesn’t sound fair.”

“That’s tough, Jeon,” she says shortly, patting him on the shoulder as they climb the stairs to the entrance of the tattoo parlour. “But we’ve already got the sketch and placement and everything done, and we’re sticking to the plan.”

“God, you’re bossy.”

“And you’re bratty,” she retorts, squeezing his shoulders and kissing his left one. “But I love you anyway.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook grins as they enter the reception, trailing slightly behind her. The low hum of the air conditioner takes over from the traffic outside as he follows Lia to the desk, keeping barely an inch of distance between their bodies and leaning over her shoulder. “You mean that?”

“Sure.”

“God, I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he mutters, pulling out his wallet for his ID and placing it next to hers, flashing a smile at the receptionist. “Fine, I’ll get the basket.” 

He pinches her waist gently and she gasps in surprise, swatting his hand away. “Good. Because we’ve pushed this appointment enough times and I just want it to be done. I hate that it’s just unfinished and incomplete and just hanging there, waiting for us to get on with it.”

“Huh.” Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “What if the artist isn’t available today?”

“Then I will physically pick up the tattoo gun and draw the tattoos on us.”

“You’d really draw a tattoo on me? You? I mean, I love you,” he quickly backtracks, “but… you?”

“Exactly,” she says as they walk inside together. “So you better hope he’s in today or you’re going to end up having my artwork on your skin forever.”

“Point taken.”

Fortunately for them, not only is the artist available, but he’s prepped and ready to go. Two reclining chairs have been placed next to each other, the tattoo guns are plugged in and kept on the table, sterilised needles still in the packets, and a tray with small bottles of water.

“Ah, my favourite customer is here,” he greets, his lined face lighting up when he sees Jungkook. “And my second favourite customer by association,” he says to Lia, chortling at his own joke as they bow slightly to each other.

“Thank you for making the time,” she says, while Jungkook genially hugs him. 

“Of course, of course. Ah, this is Eunbi,” he remembers, turning slightly and gesturing to a young woman who steps out of the staff room, “my apprentice.”

Eunbi gives them a small smile, smoothing her short blond hair self-consciously. The roots have begun to darken but it gives her a nice, rustic look. 

They get settled after that, Lia and Jungkook on one chair each, while Eunbi and her boss take their seats on revolving stools, sketch pens in hand and tattoo guns on standby.

“It’s a really cute idea,” says Eunbi, carefully drawing the basketball on the inside of Lia’s wrist. “Jungkook oppa, you’re getting the basket?”

“That’s right.” He takes Lia’s free right hand from beside him and squeezes it. “I’m taking one for the team,” he says dramatically.

She rolls her eyes but squeezes his hand back anyway. “You’re the one who wanted couple tattoos. If anything, I’m taking one for the team.”

“Same difference.”

“Why basketball?” The tattoo artist, who Lia realises has yet to mention his name, peers at them from above his dark glasses. “Is it some new meme I’m not aware of?”

“Oh, no, it’s not a meme,” says Jungkook quickly. “We met while playing basketball.”

Eunbi looks up. “Really?”

“Playing is a bit of an overstatement,” says Lia.

“I didn’t know you played basketball,” says the tattoo artist skeptically to Jungkook. “Are you any good?”

“I’m getting better,” he mumbles, while Lia snorts.

“It’s true, he is,” she adds, grinning at Jungkook’s increasingly annoyed expression. “The first time was… not great. But he’s been practising since then.”

“Good on you, kid. You know, I used to play basketball in high school.”

“Really?” Jungkook turns to him excitedly. “Which position? Do you follow the NBA? I’ve started recently…”

Lia bites her lip as she watches him prattle on about his favourite team, about the last match he’d watched. It was one of the most endearing things he’d done: diving into her favourite sport with interest, learning the rules, watching the matches and following the players on social media.

She squeezes his hand absently, also glad that his strange mood from earlier seems to have disappeared. He’s cheery as ever, all the way from flirting his way into her shower, to proclaiming how he was willing to get the basket tattooed to prove how, much like the basketball filled the basket, she filled him with happiness.

Then she’d groaned and cringed while he’d laughed his arse off, turning the volume up in the car and singing along angelically to whatever song was playing.

“Lia.” Jungkook tugs at her hand. “You want to take this one?”

“Huh?” She turns apologetically to Eunbi. “Sorry, what was the question?”

“Oh, I - I asked how you two met.”

“Oh.” Lia glances at Jungkook, pursing her lips in amusement. “I think you should probably take this, no?”

He shakes his head and mock-glares at her. “Uh, okay. Well, long story short: we went on a date, I was a bit of a douche, but she decided to give me a second chance anyway.” Despite the humour of the situation, the relief in his voice is audible.

Heart warm, she nods. “He worked pretty damn hard for it.”

Jungkook nods. “Basketballs to the face notwithstanding.”

“Aw, that’s cute. And so are the tattoos,” adds Eunbi. “I wish my boyfriend would agree to one - but he’s terrified of needles.”

“I was terrified of basketballs for a good week there,” notes Jungkook. “But you’ve got to face your fears to overcome them,” he says wisely.

“You’re right. I wish he’d been a douche on our first date,” she jokes, “then I could’ve asked him to get a tattoo for me.”

“He’d have to be a really big douche for that,” says the tattoo artist, before lightly smacking Jungkook on the shoulder and ignoring his gasp. “And why were you a douche, huh?”

“I wasn’t - I didn’t -“

“His friend set him up and he was in a bad mood,” supplies Lia, reaching over and pinching her boyfriend’s cheek as he scowls.

“A really bad mood,” he clarifies. “Because he kept texting during dinner and asking for updates - I could’ve hit him, I swear.”

The tattoo artist responds reproachfully to Jungkook, but Lia barely hears it, for it brings back another memory she doesn’t dwell on too often.

She likes video games.

It’s the only aspect of their history she would rather ignore. Everything else - his apology, his attempts at getting to know her better, riding home on his motorbike in the rain, basketball with Dal - makes her reminisce with fondness, more often than not leading to an increased amount of affection for her boyfriend for the rest of the day. This one part of it, though? Not ideal.

She feels Jungkook clutch her hand tighter then, and she realises his tattoo has begun, the hum of the gun cutting through her thoughts. She squeezes his hand back automatically, endeared and exasperated at his wincing despite hundreds of tattoos, and pushes the unwanted detail of their history aside.

“I love it,” he says later, once they’re almost back at his house. He peels off the plastic from his shoulder a little bit before hissing.

“Don’t take it off yet, come on,” she tells him, pressing it back into place and stroking the reddened area. “It’s still fresh. And it does look great,” she acknowledges, lightly tracing the basket that’s wedged peacefully between two bigger tattoos on his tricep. “Do you think the fans will notice a new tattoo?”

“Doubt it. Or maybe they will,” he says after a moment. “You never know. They won’t be able to tell it’s about you, though,” he assures her.

“I’m sure,” she agrees, observing her own basketball tattoo. It hurt more than she expected but somehow, having Jungkook there doing the same thing helped. She won’t admit it to him without some eye-rolling, but she finds herself happy with their decision to get the tattoos after all.

“Do you want to get lunch?” Jungkook asks, unlocking the door and gently steering her in first.

“I’m good with ramen, honestly,” she says, taking off her shoes and padding through the living room. “Could you get a couple packets from the pantry? I’ll put the water on.”

Jungkook nods and disappears, softly humming a tune. Lia glances at the entertainment unit, his Playstation and neatly stacked DVDs, mildly satisfied that after an entire weekend’s worth of work, his apartment is properly set up.

Her gaze falls on the pictures, scanning Jungkook’s handsome face in each, before landing on the same group picture they’d argued about this morning.

And something falls into place.

“Got it!” When Jungkook returns a few minutes later, arms laden with no less than four packets of ramen, it’s to see Lia standing in the middle of the carpet, one of the photo frames in her hands. Even from here, he can tell exactly which picture it is.

She doesn’t look up at his entrance, and he takes the opportunity to dump the ramen on the kitchen island and slowly approach her. 

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Lia seems to tear her eyes from the picture to meet his eyes. To his relief, she doesn’t look angry or hurt. She simply looks curious - and confused. “This is - this is her.”

Jungkook bites his lip. “What are you talking about?”

She turns the picture towards him. “The girl you had a crush on. Back then.” She deliberately doesn’t elaborate and for that he is thankful. “This is her,” she says, pointing and tapping her finger on the glass.

It’s barely a question. After a moment, he nods. “Yeah, it is.”

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, as though she wasn’t expecting him to admit it so quickly. “And this is clearly the boyfriend,” she mutters as she gazes at the frozen faces, seemingly to herself, not being able to tell how his heart jerks. She looks up at his again, frowning. “Is that why you didn’t want to put this picture up? Because she’s in it, too?”

Jungkook sighs, his shoulders slumping. His gaze briefly falls on the picture, on her face, and he immediately looks away. “It didn’t feel right,” he confesses. “It felt like I would be… I don’t know. Disrespecting you.” He shakes his head and looks at the floor. “Especially if… someday, you decide to…” Here, he trails off, unable to find the nerve to finish his sentence.

“But… why?” Lia still just sounds confused. “She was just a friend, right? And you said it was over.”

“She was. And it is.” He shrugs, ignoring the old, dull pang in his chest. “I haven’t seen or spoken to her in years.”

“Did you think I would be mad?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, now wishing he’d just agreed to put the picture up when she’d handed it to him in the morning. This isn’t a topic he ever wanted to surface, and not with her. “When I first told you, you seemed… kind of mad. And then a bit sad.” He shakes his head. “You’re the most important thing to me now. I don’t want to ruin it.”

After a moment, he hears her sigh. He knows this sigh; it’s the same one he’d heard when he’d confessed to her that he didn’t know a lick of basketball, when his meticulously-planned drive-in movie date had gone to shit, when he’d inadvertently revealed that he was afraid she’d think he was too young for her.

“Kook…” She comes up to him, placing the frame on the coffee table on the way. Gently holding his hand, she tilts her head to meet his eyes. “I can’t be mad at you for something that happened before we met. Everyone has a past.”

“Yeah, but I’ve told you about this particular past before,” he reminds her, feeling wretched. “And it didn’t go very well.”

“Well… yeah. It didn’t come up in the best way, I guess,” she murmurs, and he knows she’s remembering their conversation in the Hybe copy room. “But now that we’ve moved past that… I can’t hold you to a crush you had years ago. Especially when it seems like you were friends,” she adds quietly.

Jungkook’s chest starts to feel heavy again. “You just… you sounded kind of mad. I think. Maybe I was imagining it,” he mutters, shrugging tiredly.

“I wasn’t mad… I guess I was a little thrown,” she admits. “I mean, I know you said she had a boyfriend. I just didn’t think it was one of the other members.”

He says nothing. He appreciates her understanding, although he should’ve always expected her to rise above petty jealousy or insecurity. It occurs to him for the hundredth time how lucky he is to have her; how, in the midst of a truly despondent time in his life, she’d been the beacon of light he’d been fortunate enough to stumble upon. He hadn’t looked back since.

But the moment his gaze lands on the picture discarded behind her, his heart creeps up his throat again.

“Is that what it is?” Her voice brings him back. “Do you feel guilty because she was dating your friend?”

For starters. There’s no point, he realises. As mature and understanding as Lia is, Jungkook doesn’t think he can find the words or the courage to relive his regrets, the ones that still catch him unawares when he hears her name in passing, or when he goes to rehearsal and inadvertently locks eyes with his hyung.

“Kind of.” 

Lia nods slowly. “It’s okay, Jungkook,” she murmurs, tugging at his hand again. “No one can control how they feel.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to respond to that. He makes a non-committal sound, his gaze flickering to the ground.

“You told me you were over her.”

“And I meant it.”

She squeezes his hand. “Good.”

He wills the heaviness in his chest to go away, and forces a small smile onto his face. “Sorry.”

She returns it, holding his gaze before reaching up and pressing a quick kiss to his mouth. “We don’t have to put it up,” she reminds him.

But Jungkook shakes his head. “No, you’re right. It is a nice picture,” he allows, picking it up. “And it was a long time ago.”

Apparently satisfied, Lia smiles back radiantly. “And you look very hot in it.”

“If only you’d known me then.”

“You would’ve learnt to play basketball a lot sooner,” she agrees, chuckling. 

“So you forgive me?” he asks after a moment.

Lia’s smile fades slightly. “For having a crush?” she asks, reaching up and touches his forehead with hers. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Not even to your friend,” she adds. “I mean, nothing happened, right?”

She’s beautiful. A beacon of light in a period of darkness he couldn’t see beyond. She saved him, more than she would know.

Jungkook brushes a lock of hair off her forehead. “No,” he lies.

After lunch, Jungkook volunteers to clean up the living room and kitchen while Lia goes to do the laundry. Collecting their clothes from his bedroom, she chucks them in the washing machine, loading it with detergent and softener and turning it on.

She stops by the pantry on her way back, looking for a chocolate bar or any other candy, something to officially clear the air with Jungkook. She searches along the shelves, passing by ramen, boxes of Caffetta coffee, and a lot of protein powder - only to come to the conclusion that his house is hopelessly understocked with sugar.

“We can get low fat,” she murmurs to herself, preempting his response as she makes her way back to the living room. She stops abruptly at the doorway when she spots him, his back tilted towards her, framed picture in hand.

Lia’s heartbeat feels louder for a moment. She takes a quick step back behind the doorway; it’s unnecessary, though, for his focus is on something else entirely. 

She ought to have seen it before. It wasn’t until they returned to Jungkook’s apartment that she even noticed the most important detail in the picture. Mingyu sat to Jungkook’s right while a girl sat to his left, perched on the arm of the sofa. One hand hung loosely around Jungkook’s shoulder, so casually, so harmlessly, that Lia hadn’t even registered it this morning.

On her other side was her boyfriend, clearly. The way she leaned into him, the way his arm rested confidently on her waist, his fingers brushing the bare skin between her light blue jeans and striped crop top, the way their bodies fit perfectly - it looked like they’d known each other forever. There was no doubt as to who he was, especially since he was someone Lia had definitely met.

In light of how intensely close the couple looked, the girl’s hand around Jungkook’s shoulder seemed unimportant. It was almost like a habit, or convenience, her dark nail paint and the small cigarette stub between her fingers looking like they belonged there.

It’s her, isn’t it? There was no one else in the picture it could be, not any of the other handful of girls in the same frame. It’s her; the one who likes video games, the one with a boyfriend - the boyfriend who Lia now knows is one of Jungkook’s best friends, a big brother he loves.

She bites her lip, continuing to watch him until his shoulders relax slightly and he places the photograph back on the shelf. He gathers the empty bowls on the centre table and heads towards the kitchen, and Lia feels the seed of uneasiness sink in her stomach. 

She can believe he’s over her. She can believe it’s in the past, that Jungkook is with her in the present. 

Whatever it is, though - it’s definitely not finished.

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to leave a review :)

[landinoandco]

Would you consider doing a part 2 for My best friend and I?

Of course - I was thinking of doing a part 3 as well, let me know if you would like me to turn this into a mini series

My best friend and I ....

Lando Norris x Reader

Part one

Word count: 1.6 k

Rating: angst

Requests are open :)

Part two:

It shouldn’t have hurt you. Not at all. Lando was your best friend and the feelings you felt towards each other had remained platonic. Just like it had been for years.

You stared down at the photo in front of you - your lip caught in between your teeth and a line creasing the skin between your brows. A thought in the back of your mind raised its voice - what if it was you in those photos?

Slamming your phone onto the kitchen counter, you exhaled violently and looked around your surroundings. It was his house. You were in his kitchen. Just like you had been many a time before so why was it suddenly so different?

You were house sitting for Lando whilst he was away on his summer break. Once again - this wasn’t usually a problem but it had given you time to think. A lot of time to think, in fact. To be at one with your thoughts, except you didn’t want to be ‘at one with your thoughts’ because your thoughts had led you down a dangerous rabbit hole of feelings and despair.

He had been gone a week - a whole week apart. It was something you had never done before, which seemed odd due to his job but before last week you had always travelled together. Wherever he went, you went. Likewise, wherever you went he went.

As his PR officer it was your job to travel the world with him but that's besides the point. Even before that as childhood best friends - the bond you formed meant that the longest time you would spend away from each other was when your parents dragged you away on a weekend trip to the seaside. A weekend of torture. A weekend without Lando.

Standing up, you moved in the direction of the front door - grabbing the keys and locking the door behind you. You needed to clear your head - you needed a distraction.

Shoving your hands into your pockets, you started down the street; thinking back to the night before when you logged into his twitch account - he had joined, at first you thought he was going to be mad but instead Lando had typed into chat how much he missed you. Lando missed you and that was enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Lando stared at Max’s phone, the photo glaring menacingly back up at him. He looked away as though the image pained him, scrunching up his nose and pushed the phone back to its owner. Max watched him warily, “It’s over every platform.” He added softly, placing his phone into his pocket.

“Right, thanks mate.” Lando mumbled, pulling his own phone out. He knew he had to call you, as his PR it was your job to instruct him on what he should do next. Had you seen the photo? Lando shook his head, you would have called him, the curiosity would have gotten the better of you. His finger hovered over your contact, he thought about what your reaction would be; what did he want your reaction to be? It was a valid question. He knew that there was no reason for you to be angry; at the end of the day he was on holiday and on holiday you have fun. What if you were jealous? Jealous of the girl in the photo. Lando’s arms snaked around the girl's waist, lips tantalisingly close to the girl’s ear. The corners of his mouth turned up at the thought.

The image of you had plagued him everytime he found himself alone. His thoughts running wild without you by his side, whilst you still messaged he still felt as though he was being starved from your company. It didn’t matter how many women he spoke to, they always seemed to be missing something. Part of him never wanted to get over you - part of him hoped that one day you realised that he did still love you, that it had never gone away. No matter how hard he tried. Part of him hoped that you were in love with him too.

The walk had failed to clear your thoughts. Everything led back to him. That infectious laugh. Those stupid curls. The way he looked at you. Every moment replaying in your mind on repeat. You were sure he would never feel the same way, especially after you rejected him all of those years ago. You sighed, the picture of the couple flashing in your mind.

As his PR officer you really should call him to help him manage the sudden attention. You clicked on his name, holding the phone to your ear. It rang once and he picked up.

“Hey.” Lando answered breathlessly. There was a pause before you answered, swallowing thickly you opened your mouth before closing it quickly.

“I take it, you've seen the photo.” You replied bluntly, there was no reason to sugar coat the reason for your call.

“I was actually just about to call you.” He said honestly, you could hear the sound of people talking getting quieter in the background. He was moving to somewhere more private. Away from prying eyes or ears in this case. “What should -”

You cut him off, standing up from the sofa and walking to stare out of the window. “Is this a serious relationship or -”

“No.” His voice was harsh, cold even.

“I had to ask - you know I did.” A loud silence filled your ears as you waited for him to respond - pressing your lips together as you did so.

“You would be the first person to find out if there was someone, you know that.” His tone was soft, so soft it was almost a whisper. A whisper that urged you to be close to him.

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation - regardless of whether it’s a serious relationship or not. We both know how toxic some fans can be, does the girl know?” You knew that Lando was shaking his head. “Make sure the girl knows what may be coming her way. Carry on as normal and I know it’s hard but ignore it - don’t give it any attention because it will only add fuel to the unfortunate fire.”

Lando hung onto every word you said - how could he tell you that the only reason he kissed that girl was because he wanted to be closer to you. Your voice filled his ears once again, “Are you okay, Lando?” His thoughts were a tangled spiderweb, slowly entwining until he was struggling to think straight.

“I - uh.” He stuttered, rubbing a hand over his forehead. He was faced with a crossroad - he could tell you, there and then about how he really felt; explain the real reason to why he was caught on camera with the girl. He could tell you that he never stopped loving you. Not for one day. Lando could confess to his feelings. Or he could stay silent. Continue to lie and cover his feelings. He could argue that this way he was protecting your friendship. “Actually, there is something that we should talk about.”

A breath caught in your throat, you prayed Lando couldn’t hear it over the line. All of a sudden you could hear a second voice from the otherside of the phone. “Lando, are you on the phone to who I think you are on the phone to?” The expression was light but mocking and you recognised it almost immediately. Max Fewtrell, Lando’s second partner in crime. “Hang on,” He said to you, “I’m going to put you on speaker phone.”

“Hey Max,” You called out, relieved for the change in topic.

“I thought it was you our little gremlin had snuck off to speak to.” Max added, his voice becoming more audible. You and Max had always gotten on well, right from the moment Lando had introduced you. “Has he confessed his undying love for you yet?” He joked, a hint of truth laced in his tone. It had the effect of poison, the atmosphere immediately changing. You stiffened, jaw tightening as you waited for Lando to answer him.

“Come off it, we’re too close for any of that emotion sort of thing-”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, the regret was instantaneous. It was a lie. In fact it was the biggest lie he had told. Ever. Lando looked over to Max, his eyebrow raised and the corner of his lips turned up in a smirk. Lando pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, his mouth set in a hard line.

“Right, way too close.” He heard you squeak in a way he had never heard you speak before. You sounded tired all of a sudden, almost downhearted.

“Wait-” He began to say, eyes snapping open. He was going to take it back. Confess to everything.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got to go. Remember what I said. I’ll see you when you get back.” Your words were rushed, throat slowly constricting. You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall and ended the call abruptly.

You sank back down onto the sofa and groaned. You were in love with your best friend but he didn’t love you back.

Part three

[h0neypjm]

Just for practice | kth

↳ Summary: “I think we should normalise giving head to your friends as practice.”

↳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, slight Hoseok x reader

↳ Genre: Smut, pwp, some plot i guess, best friend! Taehyung

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 5.3k

↳ Warnings: swearing, lip biting, hickies, oral (both female and male receiving), rough blowjobs, spanking, fingering, squirting, big dick! Tae, possessiveness/jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), dom/sub themes, Taehyung calls reader lots of pet names (sweetheart, darling, good girl), degradation, biting, slight cockwarming

↳ a/n: I’ve been having major writer’s block while writing confident :( however, i saw this tweet which prompted this lil oneshot hope you enjoy

Jung Hoseok [ 2:15 PM ]

Am I gonna see you at Seokjin’s tomorrow?

You [ 2:16 PM ]

I’ll be there :)

Jung Hoseok [ 2:18 PM ]

You’re not gonna run away from me this time, right?

You [ 2:20 PM ]

No of course not haha

Jung Hoseok [ 2:21 PM ]

Is that a promise princess?

A sigh flies out of your mouth like wind through a window and you’re shucking off your glasses in an instant. Hoseok’s texts bringing back a flurry of memories that you wish to forget.

“Do you need help with your essay again?”

Your eyes are strained when they try to focus on Taehyung, your shoulders shrug in defeat. “No, I’m fine. It’s just-”

Taehyung knows immediately, he is your best friend after all. “Let me guess, It’s Hoseok isn’t it?” 

You slump in your seat while a pout is cutely drawn onto your face, you nod with dismay. “I really like him Tae, and every time we see each other, It’s like the universe has it out for me and tries to make sure I embarrass myself in front of him.”

Taehyung shuts his laptop because he knows there's no use in trying to write an essay while you speak about your utterly tragic love life. He thinks about your situation for a minute before he speaks.

“Yes, you might’ve spilled your beer on him and accidentally punched him in the eye, more than once. But, if he’s still texting you he’s obviously still into you. It’s a good sign sweetheart.” Taehyung pats your hand across the coffee table, a comforting smile adorning his handsome face.

Taehyung doesn’t know the full extent of your problem and the more you think about it the more embarrassing it becomes. So you smile back at him uttering a small thank you before turning back to your laptop.

Taehyung raises a brow, “wait, wait, hang on, something is still bothering you.” 

You frown, “it’s embarrassing.”

Taehyung shuffles around the corner of the coffee table as if you’re about to tell him a secret, though it’s just the two of you in his small apartment. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

“Taehyung it is that bad.” You tilt your head at him, pulling up the sleeves of your sweater around your tiny fists. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

Taehyung feigns shock at your words, his hands placed on his heart for dramatic effect. “I would never laugh, and frankly I’m offended you think that low of me.” 

You roll your eyes, turning your body more towards him, deciding it wouldn't hurt letting Taehyung know the thoughts plaguing your mind. “Well, you know how Hoseok and I have been kind of flirty lately, right?” He nods in understanding. 

“I can tell he wants more than that, you know? His touches are small but I know exactly what he’s suggesting, and don’t get me wrong, the feeling is completely mutual because trust me I want that too. Really bad.” 

Taehyung hums, interrupting your soon-to-be graphic rambling. “I totally get it Y/N. Now let’s stop beating around the bush so I can help you.”

If Taehyung were a girl, this would be so much easier. You curse your eight-year-old self who just had to become friends with a boy because God, how do you even start?

Taehyung is a patient man, always giving you space before helping you but, in this situation, you feel it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. Taehyung if you can read my mind, please don’t laugh at me.

“I’venevergivensomeoneablowjob.”

You speak so suddenly, Taehyung’s not so sure he heard you correctly. “Huh?”

“Goddammit Tae”, you rub and your temples and avoid his stare. “I’ve never given someone a blowjob!”

His eyes are wide. “Oh” 

You hide your face into the table while your body internally cringes. At least he didn’t laugh. “See! You do think it’s bad.”

“I’m just surprised to be honest”, he reassures, leaning back onto his palms, strong brows pulled together in thought. “Shit Y/N, have you really never sucked a dick before?”

Sure, you’ve had sex many times (most of which have been extremely disappointing) but, it seems that most of your hookups want to get straight into fucking. No foreplay, no nothing. Just unseasoned, pleasureless fucking.

A groan rumbles out of your throat, “It just never happened! They were all about that hump and dump lifestyle I guess.”

Taehyung is utterly baffled at your statement. In Taehyung’s books, It is compulsory to treat every women like a queen. Preparing and edging them the perfect amount of times to see them crumble so sensually by his very doing. To Taehyung, seeing a woman cry out his name from experiencing the most explosive, leg-shaking orgasm was always his favourite part.

This is why Taehyung is absolutely shattered for you. “So, you’re also telling me no one has ever eaten you out?” You miserably nod, “that’s actually fucking evil!”

His words do not ease you one bit as you throw your head onto the seat behind you. “The way you say it makes me feel even worse. This is the sole reason why I run away from Hoseok and make a fool out of myself.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, the air floating around carrying an awkward silence. You don’t really care and you don’t expect Taehyung to think of a solution. Plus, you’re already embarrassed enough.

You might as well leave and ask one of your girlfriends for help, maybe finish your essay while you’re at it. You sigh, shutting your laptop and stacking your books together. 

However, the next sentence that flies out of Taehyung’s mouth makes you stop dead in your tracks.

“I think I’ve figured out how I can help you.”

Wiggling back into a comfortable seating position, you lean into Taehyung with interest. “And how might you help me, dear Taehyung?”

He eyes you nervously, his fingers fiddling with his chunky rings, “You trust me, right?”

You smile, “yeah, of course, you’re my best friend Tae.”

An exhale puffs out of his mouth. “Why not practice on me?”

You almost choke on your spit. You definitely did not expect him to say that. “Could you repeat that please?”

A new glint of mischief sparkles in his eye. “Why not let me teach you how to give Hoseok the blowjob of his life and in return, I’ll eat you out”

Your brain is having a meltdown. 

“You’re fucking crazy”, you wail. “You actually want me to suck your dick?”

He brings his hands up in defence, “I think we should normalize giving head to your friends as practice, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Think about it, you get to learn and cum at the same time.”

You won’t lie to yourself, the proposal is tempting and in all honesty, Taehyung is hot as fuck. You will forever thank the Gods above for blessing you with the delicious sight that is your best friend. However, the proposition puts you in an odd spot.

Apprehensive about your thoughts, you state your unease, “I-I don’t know Taehyung, don’t you think this might ruin our friendship?” An exhale, “have you seriously thought of me that way?”

Taehyung chuckles, it’s deep and totally unexpected to your question. “Sweetheart, there are many things that go on inside my head involving you. And to answer your question, they’re not completely innocent.”

A startled gasp is ripped from your throat and your stomach flutters with a dangerous mix of nervousness, thrill and dare you say arousal.

Never in your life would you have imagined Kim Taehyung, your best friend since grade school, seeing you in such an inviting way. To make matters worse, It was intimidating to think about his fair share of experience and the long line of women backing up the fact that Taehyung was indeed some sort of sex demon.

Of course, you felt the same way. How could you not! The man was practically an incarnation of a Greek God. Broad sturdy shoulders that sat atop thick muscular thighs, and how could you forget his gorgeous fingers.

You’d die before you admit it, but there have been many nights where you have found yourself thinking about what his pretty long fingers could do to you. Those nights always ended with a mess of your sheets and a wetness between your thighs. It was your dirty little secret, however, it seems Taehyung also had some of his own.

His sharp eyes storm with darkness when he speaks, “don’t lie Y/N, I know you’ve had some dirty thoughts about me up in that pretty little head of yours.”

Pink blossoms over your cheeks like wildfire because he’s so terrifyingly right. “I don’t even need to touch you sometimes, one look and you’re a goner.” You gulp. “Look at you right now.” His gaze drops down to your thighs. “All my talking making you so needy, you need to clench your thighs to keep it together.”

He smiles, though it’s not his usual boxy, boyish smile. It’s dangerous and seductive almost smirking and shit when did he get so close to you? Your breathing is erratic and you have no idea how you could be so anxious yet so amorous at the same time. 

Your heart beats rapidly in your ears. “This is just for practice, right?”

Taehyung curses under his breath, “just for practice sweetheart.”

You don’t get to respond.

His lips are hesitant at first when they meet yours, yet his hands say the opposite. They start at your waist and tickle their way down to your stiff hands. Ever so gently, he pries them open, intertwining his long fingers with yours, and God, did his hands feel so right.

Your nerves dissipate slowly but surely as you allow him to explore your mouth with his skilful tongue. 

Much to Taehyung’s dismay, he finds you releasing your fingers from his own. Your hands flying to the nape of his neck, ultimately bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Taehyung moans in delight when you tug at his long curls, you bite his lip in reply while lust paints your vision and dampens your panties.

Taehyung never knew he would miss the feeling of your lips against his when he painfully pushes himself away to situate himself comfortably on the couch. It was time for the lesson to begin.

You pout at the distance, trying to wiggle close until he motions for you to get into a particular position. Your insides swell with eagerness.

His voice is sweet and his hands are delicate when he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Get down on your knees for me sweetheart.” You obey immediately. He smirks at your sinking form. “Good girl.”

You swear right then and there your pussy had gained a working heartbeat at his words. The unfamiliar pulse thumping as if it were trying to break loose from the constraints of your sweatpants.

Your eyes are big and expectant, slowly drinking up the sight of Taehyung’s delicious figure seated above you. He sits on the couch like it’s his throne, legs spread to accompany your kneeling figure, and dominating stare pinning you down. A shiver runs down your spine.

“Wh-what do I do now?” You utter, making it known to Taehyung that he is in charge. He is in control.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, using a decorated pointer finger to hither your hands towards him. Hesitantly, you raise both hands, lightly placing them down on his thighs.

A click of his tongue makes its way to your ears and you know you’ve already made your first mistake. Taehyung’s brows furrow, it’s obvious you need to make the next move but your brain is fuzzy and flustered. 

He sighs at your confused silence, bringing your small hands onto his belt. Oh, you know what you’re supposed to do now.  

“I thought you were smarter than this, how else are you meant to get my dick out, hmm?” The blush across your cheeks has definitely spread profusely from his teasing. Its once peachy pink tone deepening into an embarrassing cherry red.

The buckle of his belt jingles under your fingertips as you nervously undo them. You’re apparently too slow for his liking, Taehyung finishing the job by pulling his belt off his pants, leaving you to stare down at the large bulge covered by the fabric of his tight jeans. You thought you had your nerves under control but the way your hands start to shake is an indication that this is real. You’re really about to suck your best friend off.

Ever the observant friend, Taehyung is quick to notice the slight shake in your fingers. “Wait, stop.”

You do as he says, quickly settling your palms back on the thickness of his covered thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this? your hands are shaking sweetheart.” His voice is laced with concern, a total switch to his previous words.

Clearing your throat you reply, “oh, no, no I’m fine.” You lock eyes. “I just want to make sure I’m doing good so I can be good for him.”

Possessiveness flares within Taehyung’s chest and he has no idea why. Although he doesn’t let it show, he can’t help the swell of his ego at the knowledge that he’s the first to get you like this. Not Hoseok. Him.

So, he grins his wide boxy grin, dragging a finger down your warm cheek. “Don’t worry darling, you’re in great hands”

The commanding smirk etched onto his lips sparks a surge of confidence through your veins, begging you to finally touch him.

With a tug of your small hands, Taehyung’s constricting jeans are pried off the taut muscle of his thighs and are left to pool around his ankles. The excitement of finally being able to suck dick coursing through your body like lighting, and just like his jeans, Taehyung’s boxers are off in a second.

His cock springs, tall, hard and proud. Your jaw drops, Taehyung chuckles at your reaction. You feel an ooze of wetness pooling in your panties.

His size is nothing you’ve seen before, thick and girthy with an impressive length to match. You wince at the thought of fitting him down your throat.

The cold metal of his rings against your hands brings your attention to Taehyung’s handsome face. Without breaking any eye contact, he wordlessly wraps your hands around the thickness of his cock.

It’s warm and swells in your palm, your two dainty hands stacked on top of each other. Fingers trying so hard to wrap themselves around the sheer girth of his cock.

You’re not dumb, you know what comes next. With a sharp inhale you begin to stroke up his length, paying close attention to his facial expression to get an idea of how well you’re doing

Taehyung’s head tilts to get a better view at your hands, “grip it tighter for me… yeah fuck that’s it.”

His praise boasts you on, holding tighter onto his cock and gathering the slick of his pre-cum with a twist of your wrist. Your eyes remain focused on the way the skin moves with your hands and the way his tip glistens with arousal. You want to lick it.

“When you’re ready you can put your mouth- Ahh shit Y/N!”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence when you’re already so eager to have him in your mouth. You do what you think would feel best, sucking on the head of his cock like a sweet ice lolly on a hot summer's day. Your tongue tracing the thick circumference before dipping into his slit.

A light groan falls from his mouth as he watches you lap at the remaining pre-cum that glistens in the afternoon light. Taehyung almost forgets why he’s here, lost in your plump lips wet with saliva.

Right, he’s here to teach you how to give a blowjob. “Try and take my whole length in darling.” 

You nod, taking a deep breath, your mouth opening wider to take him in as far as you can. You try to keep your throat relaxed taking him inch by inch.

“That's a good girl”, he praises, “you’re doing so well for me.” 

Your knees squeeze together, acting to relieve some pressure on your aching heat. It had truly been a while since you got some serious action.

Surprisingly you’re able to make your way to the hilt of his cock, a choked gag sputtering from your lips.

A few strands of hair fall in your face, blocking your eyes in the process. Swiftly, Taehyung brushes the hair from your eyes while simultaneously lifting your head off of his cock. 

You release him with a satisfying pop, your eyes wide and makeup a little smudged. Taehyung coaches you through the next steps. “I want you to try and do that again, but when you come back up, lick the length of my cock and look at me while you do it.”

Humming in acknowledgment you grip the base of his cock before pausing. “Isn’t this what you like though? What if Hoseok likes to be touched in a different way?”

An unintentional growl bubbles out of his mouth. Oh how he wished he could take your mind off Hoseok and have you screaming his name, thinking about him instead.

He pushes down his discontentment with the other man on your mind, “men are simple creatures Y/N, just making out sometimes can get them going. And judging by the way you’re sucking my cock right now, I’m sure Hoseok will be crazy for you.”

As Taehyung explains the ins and outs of a man’s brain, you don’t make an effort to stop the teasing of his cock. His words sound slurred, they go in one ear and out the other, and besides the delicious length in front of you is much more fascinating.

For the time being you stare up at him, your eyes wide feigning interest in his words, all while you grip his cock in one hand and continuously lap at his tip with a kitten-like flick of your tongue. 

Taehyung finally realises that you’ve stopped listening when he feels the small yet downright sensual pleasure shooting through his cock. He grunts, pushing your hair back once again, “fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking good.”

His preoccupied hand squeezes the pillows beside him, the veins of his hands popping out. You do what he taught you, seductive eyes laser focused on him while your wicked tongue leaves a hot trail up the prominent vein on his dick.

“Shit Y/N you’re doing so well-”

You release him from your mouth disrupting his sentence, “can you fuck my throat?”

Taehyung swears his whole body just convulsed at your request. He looks away just so he can contain himself because holy shit.

Obviously Taehyung has thought about you being in this position, saying those words. Yet, no matter how many times he fantasizes this scenario, nothing would ever prepare him for those words to actually come out of your mouth with the most bewitching grin plastered on your pretty face.

He stutters, “I- no, I don’t know if you can take it darling.”

You grip his thighs, pout forming on those dangerous lips of yours, “please Tae, I want it. Want you to use me.”

Taehyung pushes the curls of his bangs away, a hiss steaming from his lips. “Alright, but if you feel any discomfort pinch my thigh, okay sweetheart?”

You’re impatient, “yeah, yeah, I can take your monster dick.” You place a small kiss on his thigh, “do your worst.”

His movements are all too fast, all too sudden. His fingers securing a death-grip on the mess of your hair before holding his cock up to your mouth. “You asked for it darling.”

Your mouth automatically widens, welcoming the rough intrusion of his cock as it slides all the way down your throat. A lewd gag fills the room.

A dark cloud of lust of dominance fogs Taehyung’s vision, his biceps flexing when he brings your head up and down his thick velvety length.

The room resounds with the filthy wet noises of your saliva covered lips pumping repeatedly. Taehyung breathes heavily through his nose, tilting his head against the cushions behind him. He keeps his hips still, yanking your hair at an obscene pace. A slew of curses and moans fly out into the air as he revels at the complete state of ecstasy you’ve put him under.

The heat of his member burns the back of your throat but you fucking love it. You open your teary eyes, gazing at his chiseled jaw and the way he shivers and groans above you. It only spurs you on when he glances back down, meeting your mascara ruined eyes.

It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Taehyung harshly pushes your head all the way to the base of his cock. Your face is met with his abdomen, the hairs of his happy trail tickling your nose.

He leaves you there, and the burn in your throat rises, leaving you gagging, your throat tightening around him.

Taehyung believes after this he could never get the image of your messy docile eyes and tarnished lips out of his brain. He feels your throat constrict, “sh-shit, fuck Y/N, breathe through your nose.” You inhale. “That’s my good girl.”

He releases you from his member only to push your lips back onto him, going back to his beastly pace. “You look so fucking pathetic, you think Hoseok wants a messy girl like you?”

You gurgle around him, tears freely falling down your cheeks as you try to shake your head no. He only mumbles out a groan, his cock abruptly pulsing under your tongue like a steady heartbeat.

It's all too sudden when he releases your head off his length, a glob of drool dripping down your chin and onto your shirt. 

“Fuck sorry I was about to cum.”

Although your heart swells with pride you wonder, “why didn’t you?”

He runs a hand through his messy locks, “the purpose of this was to teach you, don’t you still want to practice?”

You’re smug with your answer, “I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”

He swipes a finger under your tear stained eyes, “getting cocky now are we.” 

You were cocky indeed, “well I did get you shaking under my touch didn’t I?”

He rolls his eyes, “get up you brat, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

Fucking finally.

You won’t lie, you were probably most excited to finally know what it feels like to receive head. Your mind is still fuzzy from Taehyung’s rough ministrations as you slowly get up. You wobble slightly and Taehyung is quick to stabilize you with two strong arms holding the curve of your hips in place.

With his arms already around you he pushes you towards the couch, kicking his jeans off in the process.

Back flat against his plush couch you’re already stripping off your sweatpants and panties together in one. “My, my aren’t you eager”, he teases, a glint of shamelessness twinkling in his brown orbs when he drinks up the plushness of your thighs leading to your dripping cunt.

Holding your knees in the palm on his hands, he spreads them open to reveal the glossy folds on your heat. He kisses his teeth, satisfaction and hunger clear on his face. “Fuck, isn’t this a pretty sight.”

His words bring back a blush on your cheeks, you pull him forward, your lips inches away from his own. “Shut up please.”

And he shuts you up real good. Smashing your lips to his, he envelopes you into a feverish kiss, your tongues dancing the devil's tango.

His hands are adventurous, feeling the mounds of your breasts over your shirt. “Why the fuck isn’t your shirt off yet huh?” He tuts, pulling on the cotton fabric.

“I want yours off too.” You cutely mumble tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which he complies, tugging it off in one fluid motion. 

You peel your baggy shirt off just in time to see Taehyung's arm flex as he takes his very own shirt off. “Have you been working out? My God Tae, you're as big as Joon.”

He inwardly smirks because yeah he’s been working out and it's clearly paying off. He doesn’t want to show his glee however, “can we not talk about other men when I’m about to eat you out.”

You chuckle, eyes trailing down his buff arms to his v-line that leads to his dick like an arrow directing you to his treasure. You bite your lip, unclipping your lace bralette, “sure, sure, let’s get the show on the road.”

It’s Taehyung turn to drink up the sight of your body. “Fuck, always imagined what these tits looked like under all those tight clothes you wear.”

He’s really feeding into your praise kink. “Well, were they what you expected?”

He sucks on one immediately and you arch your back at the unexpected pleasure. “Even better”, he squeezes them in his palms, “they’re fucking gorgeous.”

He sucks a deep hickey under your left breast, leaving you whimpering with a hand tangled in his hair. “Always imagined what you sounded like moaning for me.”

You can’t reply, his touches burning through your skin. He kisses down your sternum to your stomach until he’s hovering above your aching clit, a tantalising grin on his face before he’s diving in.

“Fuck!” You wail at the unfamiliar yet mesmerising feelings. His tongue is stiff and pointed, flicking quickly up and down your bundle of nerves. 

The grip you have on his hair is deathly but it's the only thing in your reach that can ground you. He licks a long stripe down your sopping slit, keeping his sharp eyes on you the whole time.

“F-feels so fucking good Tae!” You almost scream. He cups his lips around your swollen nub sucking on it with a shit-eating grin on his face.

You’re too dazed to comment on it, reeling in the new pleasures you’re experiencing. You stare down at him, your eyes half opened and so close to rolling to the back of your head.

However, they almost completely open wide at the sight presented before you. With two long fingers, Taehyung is shoving them in his mouth, soaking them with his spit before rubbing them onto your sensitive folds.

You beg. “Put them inside.. Please.” Taehyung doesn’t make a sound only kissing your clit as he plunges his ring decorated fingers into you.

You’re so wet his fingers slide into you with ease. He groans at the sensation, his view focused on the way your cunt greedily sucks him in.

“Look at you, getting my rings all dirty you filthy girl”, he scolds watching the way your essence drips into the crevices of his intricate jewellery. 

Taehyung increases the pace of his long fingers, finger fucking you into euphoria. He doesn’t stop there, his lips returning to your desperate clit in a wet mess of your juices and his saliva.

You can feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach. It's hot and feels so unlike any other upcoming orgasm you’ve experienced. His fingers curl inside of you, his palm slapping your folds with his rapid pace and his lips don’t give any sign of stopping.

“Taehyung- Tae, I’m cumming!” You really scream this time, your orgasm taking control over your body like a demon. 

You swear your eyes black out, your body shaking, a warmth gushing out of your cunt as it spazzes out.

Your chest heaves and you blink, feeling a damp pool around you. Oh God, Did you piss yourself?

“Holy fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you just did that.”

You sit up, embarrassed, an apology falling from your lips.

“You just squirted on me.”

You’re flushed, “I- what?”

Taehyung almost looks akin to a wolf hunting down his prey. “That was the hottest fucking experience of my life, holy shit I’m so hard.”

Well at least you didn’t pee on his couch. There’s a surge of overwhelming need for his cock to be inside of you. You’ve never felt this way before, it’s scary but so is this whole experience. It’s definitely one for the books.

Getting up on your knees you hold onto his shoulders, Taehyung raises a brow. “Fuck, I need to ride you, can I ride you?”

You think you just saw his dick twitch at your words. He grins, “just for practice?”

Your smile is sickly sweet, “of course, just for practice.”

His arms are strong when he shuffles into a seated position all while holding your hips above his awaiting cock.

He pauses, a flash of his normal self resurfacing. “You’re on the pill yeah?”

You peck his lips, “yes, now stuff me full.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s sinking you down onto his length. 

You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being complete. The stretch hurts so bad but hurts so good. He fills you up so well it has you speechless, the air trapped inside your lungs refusing to be released until your walls are comfortable around his impressive girth.

Mumbling a soft curse, you swivel your hips in slow circles, getting used to his large size. Taehyung watches you, hunger written on his face as he licks his lips and examines the way you fit so perfectly on his lap.

You test the waters, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lift your hips and settle back onto his lap. He groans at the wet squelch it makes and slaps your ass, grabbing it in his hand to squeeze it.

You pick up the speed, pumping up and down, whimpering at how well he fills you up. You keep your gaze trained on the image of his dick disappearing in your heat and pulling out with a wet sheen.

Taehyung tucks a finger under your chin, bringing you close to his face to push his soft lips onto yours once again.

It’s weird to say, but you don’t think you can get tired of kissing your best friend. He knows exactly what you want and knows exactly how to make your head spin.

With his large hands of yours, you pick up the pace, slamming your ass onto his hips. You leave his lips, kissing the side of jaw and suckling a few lovebites behind his ear.

His voice is deep and sultry, “fuck yeah, that’s it.” You wail in his hold, pushing yourself to meet his thrusts below. Your thighs burn but the pleasure burns so much hotter.

You feel your second orgasm of the night rising within you and can tell Taehyung is close too. Taehyung assists you, using his thighs to push up into you. Your juices drip down onto his pelvis and both of your breaths get heavier.

His thrusts are fast and rough, creating loud slapping noises that echo around his empty apartment. He grunts, folding his head into the crook of your neck. He’s about to cum and so are you.

With one final gasp your release hits you like a truck. Your thigh shakes in his lap and Taehyung bites at the delicate skin of your neck. His warm seed shoots inside of you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips.

Taehyung releases his hold to lean back onto the couch. He keeps his softening cock inside of you, lazily staring at your fucked out expression.

You play with his rings, “well, how did I do?”

The shit-eating grin is back. “Hmmm, I think you may need more practice.”

[mybrainontv]

I finished season 3! It took five days, which doesn’t sound very fast, but I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever watched anything. For some reason I’m usually incapable of binging a show, but give my adhd brain a rapidly approaching deadline and it can get it done!

Here are some of my season 3 thoughts:

-3x01 Armstrong’s storyline is done! So, I read a lot about The Rookie before watching the show and I read all about Armstrong’s plot. But by the time he was introduced I forgot that Armstrong was Armstrong. At the beginning I honestly questioned if he was even real cause he seemed like a figment of Nolan’s imagination. He always seemed so odd and out of place and only had scenes with Nolan for the longest time. Other characters would walk towards Nolan and he would just walk away. So... yep. 😂

-I loved Lucy smoke cleansing Nolan’s house in 3x02. I want to see more of her spiritual side!

-Tamara!! I couldn’t wait for her introduction! I love her character

-In 3x05 the evidence room employee says they’re not allowed to interact with the police personnel. I kinda get the point they’re trying to make with keeping evidence secure, but that’s a super weird rule to me. I’m an evidence tech and if I couldn’t talk to cops then I wouldn’t be able to do my job...

-I couldn’t imagine having to watch Lucy’s last day fake feelings confession live. I knew it was coming, so I was prepared for it. I don’t know how y’all survived that one live 🙃

-In 3x09 Nolan’s professor accuses him of sleeping during her class and he says how sometimes he just blinks for a really long time. I felt that in my soul 😴

-Lucy’s parents can eat dirt.

-Seeing Lucy super totally not jealous over Tim’s new boot was amazing

-I loved getting to see more of Tim and Angela’s friendship and their relationship outside of work

-SAVE ME A DANCE!!!! Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

-They played Bach’s cello suite during the ending and now that’s going to be stuck in my head on a loop while I try and fall asleep 😒

[merp-blerp]

For me it might've been My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but even then I feel odd saying it. It was more of an extended, ongoing separation that's been going on for roughly 7 years, maybe more, I forget. I was already into generation 3 of the franchise and at around age 8 I discovered Friendship is Magic and was confused (I didn't know the concept of non-episodic shows or different reboots of shows at the time, being so young), but super intrigued. I eventually got the hang of how to watch it properly on my own and got really hooked. I can't stress enough how obsessed I was. It was basically my first really big hyperfixation/special interest. I began to watch other past generations of MLP too, so I've seen at least a smidge of every MLP show ever except for the latest one. It was a huge part of me and helped me discover aspects of myself. Even my sexuality in a weird way, seeing mostly female characters interact in very tight-knit friendly ways (and sometimes queer-coded ways—looking at you Lyrabon, Appledah, etc.) without any serious male gaze or sexism draped over it taught me how beautiful girls can be in an appreciative way (not in the sense that I was attracted to horses, eww). I guess it’s also notable that I was in 1st grade and was being bullied by classmates and my teacher a lot and making plenty of fair-weather friends, so I guess the show gave me something good and sweet to cling to instead of being bitter or something like that. It was almost all I was into and all I talked about when it came to media. I had other interests but nothing did it for me like MLP at the time. Therefore over the years and as I got older family, friends, and peers started openly expressing the fact that they were tired of me liking it so much. Maybe they were joking, but my neurodivergent brain doesn't know the difference sometimes. They weren't my kind of jokes. So I became increasingly embarrassed about my strong enjoyment of the show.

The final nail in the coffin for me oddly enough was me beginning to realize that MLP was made to sell toys. Which is obvious—I bought several of those toys with my weekly allowance, but I guess as I grew out of toys the fact that I was being marketed to became more clear and it got annoying for my freshly angsty early teen self. Maybe I felt talked down to in a sense. It suddenly felt like the show was suddenly going “Ooh, look at these shiny horses on screen, wanna buy one at your local Walmart this weekend???” constantly, even though it wasn't sudden, it had always been like that and that was okay, but it was the first time I felt advertise to and it felt like… I don't know, a trick??? It's silly, but I was tired of that. There were also some other personal things in my life that just… changed me too, I guess, like mental illness, my then recently diagnosed ADHD/ADD, shitty 6th grade, and other complexes. I wasn't that 8 year old anymore. Ultimately the show reminded me of a “simpler” (not actually that simple) time I couldn't return to, and no one I knew wanted me to anyway. I remember sadly telling my best friend at the time that I thought I was getting over MLP, something that had shaped me so strongly, and she went “GOOD!” Being a pathological people pleaser, angsty, and things in myself just changing, I just let the love die.

But now nearing the end of my teens I've been kind of rediscovering old media I used to love and looking at it through and adult lens, usually falling in love with it and respecting it even more than I had when I was a kid. So I've been considering revisiting MLP:FIM. I miss it sometimes. I never actually finished the show and I have no clue where it ended, so maybe I will one of these days. Make the kid inside me a bit happier. Now that I say it out loud, it really does sound like a separated marriage or something, ha!

what's the first show (or movie, book, whatever) you ever had a bad breakup with. like something you sincerely loved and devoted a lot of time and energy towards, only for it to end in bitter, bitter heartache.

[celestialarchon]

Coming Soon

The Celestial Archon: Remastered

A/N at the bottom!

WARNING: Spoilers ahead about the story and archons. Spoilers for most story quests!

*******************************************************

The Archon war had finally ended and the eight victors came forward to claim land across Teyvat as their own. Seven regions were formed, shaped by the individual god whom would reign. One such god, did not claim territory, telling the remaining Archons that they would not be tethered to the land below but to the sky above. The Celestial Archon claimed the sky above and the dreams of Teyvat’s people.

Each Archon would come to celebrate their victory in their own ways, inviting the eighth archon to join them. However, the god of the stars merely smiled and waved them off. Barbatos and Morax especially hounded the ethereal and mysterious archon, they had the closest friendship to her of all. Even the adepti that served the geo archon had become quite attached to the lady of the stars. For the rest of their immortal lives, Teyvat’s seven archons would be overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and regret for not chasing her harder.

Eight days after the archon war ended, the eighth archon disappeared into the night never to be seen again. Barbatos the god of freedom was haunted by the loss of another friend and his grief was a secret he would hold onto. His people could never know how hypocritical his title truly was. Morax made a contract with himself that he would do whatever it takes to find his old friend. Each electro archon was blessed with a curse of eternity and preserving it at the despair of losing the goddess of stars. How could Schneznaya know love when it was ripped away from the cryo archon right after the war was won?

With the loss of the goddess of stars, many hardships came. Teyvat was in it’s golden age but suffered terribly from her disappearance and the circumstances behind it. Every shooting star gave the gods hope and every time they were let down again. Hope would only resurface after centuries at the hands of a gifted astrologist and a strange outlander.

“When a storm of stars falls upon Teyvat, ancient powers will rise again. A new era of celestial bodies is lead by Teyvat’s greatest ally or greatest foe.” Mona’s premonition was ominous and mysterious, shaking all those in Liyue and Mondstat to the core.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Earth 2021

“You’re an adult now. You can’t do this anymore, this daydreaming crap is really getting out of hand,” My best friend’s voice was stern.

I let my eyes focus on the ground, refusing to meet their eyes. Once again, I had zoned out and missed something important. They call it maladaptive daydreaming, I call it coping. Life sucks and reality sucks, why would I ever want to stay in it? Is it really wrong to hate the life I live? I’ve always hated this world. It feels wrong.

“I know I have an escapism problem,” I sighed and rested my chin on my hand, “But, I don’t know what else to do. It’s like I long for something far away from this world or plain or whatever you’d call it. I don’t know if I belong here.”

My friend sighed, “You really worry me sometimes. I can’t tell if you’re okay or not.”

“Is anybody okay?”

“That’s not what I mean,” They clicked their tongue at me, “You’ve always been different. Sometimes when I look at you, you look so far way. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

I let my hand drift to theirs, wrapping my pinky around theirs and chuckled, “Don’t be stupid. You know I always make it through, I always do end up okay, don’t I?”

I could tell my words didn’t truly reassure my friend and I honestly couldn’t blame them. The pandemic had probably only made my usual odd habits worse. I loved that friend dearly, but when they left I was flooded with relief. That feeling was only temporary of course as their words settled in. I began to wonder if they were right.

That night, my head was foggy like a bad horror film. I pulled the blankets over myself and sighed. Normally, I would’ve spent the next few hours daydreaming but their words echoed in my head. I leaned over my bed and grabbed my switch, my heart pounding in my chest as I wiped the device of animal crossing and breath of the wild. I set it down and fell back into the sheets sighing. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of my favorite game yet. That would have to wait till morning.

As I lay there, tears began to well up in my eyes and my heart ached. For some reason, the thought of deleting Genshin Impact genuinely hurt me. The characters and graphics were so beautiful but more over they felt familiar. My friends words about maturity echoed in my head as I slipped into unconsciousness, strange dreams of a place that felt more like home than the home I had made came and left.

I was sleeping so peacefully but then that terrible feeling came over me. You know the one where you’re falling? Yeah, that. Suddenly I felt like I was falling in my dream, except this felt less like a dream and more like reality. I had been falling for a long time, I wondered when I would wake up.

And then I heard his screams. My eyes fluttered open and suddenly I realized I wasn’t dreaming. I was falling from the sky and something was very wrong yet also very right.

My name is (y/n)(l/n) and this is the story of how I was cursed and blessed all at once.

A/N:

HELLO!!! I decided to redo this story in a way that I originally had it planned out combined with the storyline and plot I had before. I am returning but updates will be slow. A master list is in the works but I was in the hospital and going through a lot of health stuff as well as having several close friends that passed away which is why i’m an anemo character. I love all your support and will be finishing up requests and answering asks that i’ve missed. love you all so much.