#usually anyway
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I feel like I have a terminal illness; I'm rotted to the core and every single part of me is infected. everyone around me who claims to be so so ill too are beating the odds, getting better, and even thriving. and I'm here. dying. watching from my death bed (my gross bed in my gross room). it's such a lonely experience watching everyone outgrow you. I'm going to die alone, wretched and rotted
#terminal illness as a metaphor for bpd because rn it feels like it is#but i do believe in recovery and remission#usually anyway#bpd#bpd vent#bpd splitting#bpd thoughts#bpd safe#actually bpd#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#tw depressing thoughts
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Having trouble writing? Maybe try something else?
Like blorbo hours?
Yeah, I mean I took a break and played on the wii and that helped, but I think I'm just tired and I'm only going to be able to write so much, yknow? I did write a little bit though, so now I'm taking a break because I have a bit of a headache
But anyway, if y'all wanna do blorbo hours I'll gladly do them XD
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trump is an official stupid fuck
it’s fucking insane that a moderator had to say “there is no state where you can kill a baby after it’s born” at a presidential debate.
#dumb is usually the affectionate title#if i say ur an official stupid fuck its derogatory#usually anyway#i hate trump
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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Piss off!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!! :)))))
#bookstore-sitting is a very hard job#you wouldn’t understand#anyway#we interrupt your usual funny programme for a little bit of angst#but we’ll be back shortly#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#crowley#muriel#good omens muriel#good omens season two#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens fanart#good omens s2#art#artwork#my art#fanart#digital art#drawing#comic#fan comic
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so this summer i am nannying a 5 year old who loves miraculous ladybug (my dream) & every day she asks if we can play ladybug and chat noir at the park. these are some comics based on our various games<3
#usually she is ladybug. and i’m hawkmoth#adrien is sometimes a random object or we just pretend he’s there#or sometimes i’m adrien#one time we played where she was ladybug and she betrayed me(adrien) and gave both our miraculous to hawkmoth#and i just collapsed to my knees crying from the betrayal#i’m really super normal about it.#anyway i love my job it’s great#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#it’s so funny bc i can tell by now which episodes she’s watched bc she’ll want to act them out#usually she wants to act out dark cupid#which is a banger episode. so good#or the paris special#again. banger.
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CPTSD
Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.
#that's what it is#usually anyway#environmental trauma#a lot of millenials dealing with CPTSD in the form of emotional neglect#why do you think theres such a huge surge in toddlercore#kidcore#other look-like-a-toddler aesthetics#we're regressing and reprocessing and parenting ourselves
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buying dvds off trademe is a double joy. i get a dvd to watch AND bubble wrap to play with
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the dichotomy between the "immigrant" (someone from the global south who moves to the north) and the "expat" (someone from the global north who moves to the south) makes me feel fucking crazy. a white person who moves to asia is an expat but an asian who moves to the west is an immigrant. & how those terms are politicized and assigned class statuses, like the word "immigrant" tends to imply a blue collar worker (even if that isn't the case) while "expat" implies a white collar worker. the associations with "expat neighbourhoods" in asian countries is very very different from those of "immigrant neighbourhoods" in western nations. also how "immigrants" who dont assimilate are seen as "failing" and bad, lower class, a burden on society, etc. whereas "expats" not assimilating into local culture is expected and viewed as a sign of their higher status. the double standards are so insane
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Weird phenomenon I've seen on tumblr
#like i understand how frustrating it can be to make art and for it to get no attention#but that ain't an excuse to shame and threaten people into reblogging#some of y'all need to relearn some manners ffs#like christ#usually anything to guilt trip/shame ppl into reblogging does the opposite#because good god who the hell wants to spread the guilt tripping?!#anyways back to you regular tagging schedule#my art#doodles#rambles#comic#my sona#furry art#furry
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JDJHDHSJ LMAOOOOOOO
It's still hard for the Lamb not to be on edge with their in-laws, especially when Leshy has an ... interesting sense of humor
#Yeah maybe don't let Leshy babysit#Idk#I'm sure it's fiiiiiine#Usually anyway#Man i love the cheeps#so cute like babies#THANKS FOR SHARING CHEEPS!!!!!!!!!
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best types of brennan NPC
autism haver
stoner
frat bro who has unlearned hypermasculinity so hard that he's gone 100% the opposite direction about it
anticapitalist proletarian
the most insane person you've ever met
#brennan lee mulligan#in order this post is about (1) ayda aguefort (2) max durden (3) ragh barkrock#(4) bud cubby and (5) bill seacaster#guess what SHOW i am WATCHING#dimension 20#d20#stuff#blmulligan#dnd#ok wait i wanna think about this for unsleeping city#who are the autism havers in tuc why am i blanking.......#im gonna say esther could be an autism haver. or nod#the johns are obviously the frat bros#seven (s3\/3n?) is the anticapitalist proletarian obviously#maddy is both the anticapitalist and the autism haver as a matter of fact#and her name might be spelled maddie idk#anyway alejandro is the stoner#and wally is absolutely the most insane person youve ever met......him and la gran gata perhaps.......#i just remembered about arthur aguefort the actual most insane person youve ever met#strong case for that#the point is these are always brennan's best NPCs#most sentimental? most touching scenes? usually not. but fucking funniest? almost without fail#fantasy high
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Sometimes you just have to lovingly go through your mutual's blog and give them a bazillion notifications 🥰🥰
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sweet like honey, sweet like a summer day
#bitts posts#my pics#nsft#ns/fw#praying this stays up as is tbh it's riskyyyyy#anyway as per usual please send me asks that I won't have the mental energy to respond to
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Shadow milk cookie hit me with his truck and dragged me back into the cookie run fandom
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie#cookie run fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#I forgot what tags I usually put on my posts#anyways I’m in the fucking trenches#please help
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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