#using my cursed speech to make her shit herself

[ohimsummer]

hi! try this :) https://pin.it/7yDRk3alf

YEAHHH MY TURN

best friends 2 loves w satoru ik that’s right ! (i have selective seeing)

[gods-favorite-autistic]

fantasy high hc ! all the bad kids know sign language (solesian sign language? their own made up sign? probably both lets be honest)

(semi/)nonverbal gorgus/riz being able to communicate easily with their friends if speech is hard or theyre overwhelmed, i also hc that adaine loses speech when she gets really anxious or stressed about something no im not projecting

also hoh fig my beloved, she started losing her hearing when her horns grew in and the whole being a rockstar thing probably doesnt help, she has hearing aids (special made and enhanced by gorgugs tinkering) but they dont fix her hearing 100% and hearing aids are not comfy to wear 24/7 so being able to take them out and still communicate is great

(sorry for the ramble lol)

⚡️

Yessss I love this

They get the idea sometime during freshman year, everyone is hanging out at Riz’s place and it’s just very very loud and Riz has not been having a good day before that and Fig kept punching his arm all bro-ey and he ended up hiding in the kitchen signing with his mom, Fig recognized it when she went to go get a snack and joined in (she had tried to learn it when her horns grew in, it’s really janky but she’s trying her best) and Riz was just so excited to have somebody else know it

Fabian has the most trouble learning it, he tends to gesture vaguely a lot with his hands while talking so having to talk with his hands very specifically is weird for him, but he puts in the effort for his friends

Adaine starts teaching herself it (her father thinks it’s unpractical, she has comprehend languages if she really needs it, so she usually goes to the school library and practices there) and then once she picks it up she helps teach the other Bad Kids

Kristen already knows some from doing outreach with the church (they were culty but they weren’t fully ableist) but it’s mainly religious words so it’s pretty much as broken as her Elvish, she does pick it up surprisingly quickly (despite her abysmal dexterity)

Gorgug knows a few specific words his parents taught him when he was little (he was not very good at thinking clearly enough to communicate when he was overwhelmed so it’s mainly just words like “mad” “sad” and “loud” that he can sign really quickly), him and Fabian have study sessions for while once they start learning and figure out they’re both abysmal at it

Fig steals her moms card and signs up for lessons before figuring out that not a single one of these people know how to sign conversationally (she’s the only actual hoh person in there including the teacher who is just so condescending like she’s aware of how to sign the word yes she’s not inept) so she quits after like day two and learns with Adaine

Riz learned how to sign when he was like 6 (his parents thought it would be a useful life skill but they also figured out it both gave his hands something nondestructive to do and a way to communicate during meltdowns so they worked extra hard to teach him) and he helps the others out with their signing (mainly Fabian and Gorgug)

If they don’t want to be overheard they have a tendency of slipping into sign language, which is very confusing when they go from the loudest corner ever to literal silence+the smacking of hands

Fig tries to very discreetly talk shit with Fabian and Adaine in front of Jawbone by signing except Jawbone decided to learn sign the first week he was counselor so she got in trouble anyways (he did not let her use the “but im disabled” card to get out of it)

Fig tries to be her own translator at concerts (“Adaine can make a simulacra it’ll be cool!”) but her label said no

Fabian tends to use sign language any time he’s at a party and doesn’t feel like ruining his voice for the night just to chat with his friends

Gorgug thinks it’s really funny to sign curse words in front of teachers and then lie about what they mean (especially Porter in Junior year he thinks it’s hilarious)

[natashaslesbian]

Scar x kid reader the reader is learning how to talk properly and is in the stage of repeating everything and Scarlett had to leave the reader with some of her cast members and the reader hear some of them swearing and later on repeats them to Scarlett

Copy Cat

Word Count: 698

————

It was a beautiful day on the set of Avengers Endgame the cast had a small break in the day and Scarlett used this time so run a few errands. You were sitting comfortably on your mamas hip as she said goodbye to her cast mates, you had met the original 6 cast when they were filming Infinity War so Scarlett was comfortable leaving you in their care. “I shouldn’t be too long” your mom said as she passed you to Jeremy “toe lon” you mumbled happily, smiling widely when the people around you giggled softly. You hadn’t quite got the hang of speaking yet, a few words were audible but most of your speech was a jumbled mess. “That’s right baby too long” Scarlett laughed “mommy will be back soon okay I love you” she said as she kissed your forehead. “Baksun” you babbled making your mom smile proudly.

With a final wave Scarlett was off out, you turned to Jeremy and lifted your arms high in the air “mama bon!” You said. “She has gone hasn’t she!” Jeremy said as he twisted you in his arms “she won’t be long though, why don’t we play eye spy to pass the time?” He asked. “Ey pie!” You cheered, the cast knew it was your favourite game and was sure to keep you entertained while Scarlett was gone. You played happily with Jeremy, Mark, Chris Evans and Robert while Hemsworth went to grab some snacks. “Eye spy with my little eye” Mark said “something beginning with R” you thought hard for a few seconds looking around you to see what began with the letter R. Your eyes lit up when you saw Robert smiling towards you “Robbie Robbie!” You said pointing at him “wav it Robbie?” You asked, looking back at Mark.

You continued to play your game and eventually Chris made his way back to the group, a mountain of snacks in his arms. Walking through the door, Chris bumped into the other Chris, causing Hemsworth to drop the pile of snacks. “Ah Shit!” He exclaimed, bending down to retrieve the fallen food. “Shit” came a small voice from the corner, your voice. The guys were all frozen in their place, surprised by your happiness at saying a curse word. “Shit” you said again, smiling wildly at all the faces staring back at you. “Oh um y/n no don’t say that word it’s naughty and mommy won’t like it” RDJ said, covering his laugh. “Shit!” You said with a frown, attempting to cross your arms. Evan’s rubbed at his forehead before saying “well we’re defiantly gonna be in…” he paused, “shit?” You questioned cutely. “Yeah” Chris sighed.

A little while later, Scarlett returned with a few shopping items and a Starbucks muffin for you. “Hi baby!” She said as she came to pick you up from where you were standing with Mark “mommy!” You exclaimed as you ran to her. “Did you have fun with the boys?” Scarlett asked “I pay ey pie!” You mumbled quickly, wanting to tell your mom all about what you had gotten up to. “You played eye spy! Did you win?” Scarlett said as she placed you back on the floor “mhm” you whispered. Your mom placed down the items she had returned with, “I got you a choccy muffin from buckbucks” Scarlett said, helping you onto the couch. Your mommy came to squeeze herself next to you on the small couch, overestimating how much space there was. Scarlett huffed under her breath when she accidentally sat down on the pile of shopping “oh dear!” She said, thinking you would copy her words. “Uh shit!” You said proudly. The room fell silent as Scarlett turned towards her cast mates “I left her with you for one hour” she said with a raised eyebrow. “It was lady Hemsworth!” Robert said with an outstretched pointed finger. “Shit?” You questioned, wondering why your mom seemed so angry “thanks Chris” Scarlett said as she rolled her eyes. The group burst out laughing as you shouted out your new favourite word once again. It was safe to say Scarlett wouldn’t be leaving you with Hemsworth anytime soon.

————

Taglist<3 (will be updated with new @ soon)

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

[amiya-shirou]

Spoilers about Miquella and Marika's DLC Lore

Hate how there's so much black and white perspective in the Elden Ring community, especially regarding Miquella and Marika. Sorry if this sounds too much like an aggressive rant, it's not really my intention

"Miquella did fucked up shit which clearly clashes with his previous lore about being kind and compassionate, SOTE has bad writing" even in the base game he was already said to be the most fearsome of the demigods and it was kinda implied that he made kindness his weapon as he knew well how to make others love him, perfectly consistent with Ansbach's speech

"Miquella is manipulative so obviously he never really cared about Malenia" with all the things he did for her? is it so hard to believe he truly cared about his twin sister for the sake of which he went so far as to find ways to protect her from an Outer God's influence? with Malenia seemingly knowing about Miquella's plan and everything?

"Radahn loved his horse and protected people so he was obviously a perfectly good gigachad who could never ever agree with Miquella" he was among the forces attacking Leyndell. his ideal was Godrey - a conqueror, and the first Elden Lord. having an obsession with battle and war certainly doesn't sound like someone who could never do anything wrong, no matter how honorable he might be in battle.

"Marika did a lot of bad things and was a tyrant so obviously she never held any real love for poor Messmer or even Godwin and all she cared about was power." she made blessings to help Messmer specifically, something unique enough it's specified she never did such a thing again. 2 of these are dropped by Tree Sentinels protecting her home village which she bathed with Grace and clearly held deep love for. She went to great lengths to help him with his curse when she could have just killed him or imprisoned him where he coulnd't be of harm like she did with the Omen twins. she smashed the Elden Ring, literally sacrificing her position as queen as that action put her against the Greater Will and resulted in her shackling, which definitely doesn't sound like someone who cares about power and herself alone. And about that, if she's been imprisoned ever since before the start of the game with no one knowing about it, why are most people so easily assuming she voluntarily abandoned and ignored Messmer? she physically couldn't contact him if she wanted to. Like, it's debatable, maybe she did abandon him since before the Shattering, but it definitely doesn't feel that obvious to me, and Messmer misinterpreting her disappearance feels more in tune with the FromSoft style tragedy

all this sounds like those who insisted that since Ranni caused the Shattering then of course she can only be evil and manipulative all the time and clearly holds no real affection for the Tarnished and is only manipulating us as well. Which I feel completely clashes with her questline, narrative and characterization.

Kind people can still do evil, especially if they don't fully realize how bad what they're doing is, or if they think they're making a necessary sacrifice. Cruel, fucked up people can still love, and love might be the very reason why they ended up being so cruel. This is something the whole game is built on, and even before Elden Ring, a constant of the Souls series has been about fighting tragic individuals who ended up in antagonistic positions despite their originally good intentions.

imho Marika and Miquella are both better, more complex character than they would have been otherwise, and leave more to discuss about the game's themes and narratives, specifically because they have multiple facets to them. The hated Queen of the Golden Order was originally a victim. Her kind son who tried to fix his family's wrongdoings discarded so much of himself and did so many things to achieve his dream of compassion that he ended up being just as wrong as his mother. Isn't this much more interesting than putting out an entire game-sized DLC just to say "manipulative evil queen girlboss truly didn't care about anything and just wanted power!!" and "Kindly Miquella is so perfect!!! this surely fits our 'nothing is perfect or eternal and everything is ambiguous' narrative"?

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

World's Best Dad: Graduation

Summary: It's Gracie's graduation day and a certain Winchester is in his feels about his baby girl not being a baby anymore...

World’s Best Dad Masterlist

Pairing: single parent!Dean x kindergarten teacher!reader

Word Count: 3,000ish

Warnings: language, mention of a car accident

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

It was early on the June Saturday morning. You sighed when you rolled over and found the other side of the bed was empty. Today was Gracie’s day and while she was more than excited, Dean had been dreading this day for months.

Because today she was graduating from high school and in his eyes, his little girl wouldn’t need him ever again after today. It didn’t matter how many times you told him that wasn’t true. Dean was convinced today was the start of the end.

You shook your head and climbed out of bed, wrapping one of his flannels around yourself before you tiptoed downstairs. Unsurprisingly, he was standing on the back porch with a cup of coffee in hand, watching the light rain shower come down.

But the thing that made you pause was that Gracie was standing beside him, her shoulders moving as she spoke with her hands. She gave him a hug he tightly returned, making her small body look even tinier wrapped up in him. She said something else as he nodded, kissing the top of her head and then she was coming inside, Dean giving you a smile through the back door.

“Morning, munchkin,” you said when she pulled the door shut after herself. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah.” She lazily gave you a hug, resting her head on your shoulder. “I told daddy to relax but you know how he is.”

“Yes I do,” you said, running a hand over her head. “You don’t need to worry about him. That’s my job.”

“Our job,” she said. “Remind him I’m literally going to college on the other side of town, not the country. You guys will still see me all the time.”

“I know,” you said, rubbing her back. “Why don’t you go shower and then we can do your hair how you want it, okay?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, giving you one last squeeze. “Are we still going to camp tomorrow?”

“Yup. Now go start getting ready,” you said, letting her peel away. “And Gracie?”

“Yeah?” she asked, looking all kinds of innocent in her AC/DC shirt and pink shorts. 

“You relax too. It’s your graduation day. You have a party to look forward to this afternoon on top of that whole being done with school thing,” you teased. She sighed and nodded. “Don’t worry about the speech.”

“It’s like my punishment for doing well in school. Get the best grades? Congrats. Go give a speech in front of everybody. I wish I was dumber sometimes.” You laughed, pushing her over towards the stairs.

“Oh, munchkin. I knew you were going to be top of your class back in kindergarten. You have some idiots in your class,” you laughed. 

“I am well aware,” she said, heading upstairs, promising not to use all the hot water which was as unlikely as you winning lottery. You went to the back door, finding Dean still on the porch.

“How we doing, honey?” you asked, approaching his side and wrapping you arms around his waist. He sighed heavily, resting his head on your shoulder, so very much like Gracie had a moment ago.

“She’s not a little girl anymore. I miss when she was a sassy little shit making us fall in love,” he said softly, a smile in his voice.

“That child is still a sassy little shit,” you said, Dean chuckling. “Can I give you some advice? As a daughter with a pretty good relationship with my own dad the past decade?”

“Give it to me,” he said, lifting his head, spinning you in his arms, holding you to his chest.

“Little girls turn into women. Those women have careers and fall in love and have their hearts broken. They drink and curse and have amazing sex and shitty sex and will make so many mistakes in life they’re going to wonder when they become a real adult for a long time until they realize all of us are faking it.” Dean cocked his head, brushing your messy hair behind your ear. “But that woman…she’ll always need her dad. When she needs to vent, when she’s scared, when she needs advice on how the fuck to handle adult life. Gracie’s a young woman now and she’s going to change a whole lot over the next four years just like she did in high school and middle school and elementary school. She’ll be a grown woman but she’s always going to be your little girl. Now she just gets to be your friend too.”

He bit his bottom lip, uncurling it so it fell into a smile, pecking a kiss on your lips.

“I like that. I’m okay with being friends too,” he said, swaying you side to side. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a smart cookie?”

“Well between us, this really hot guy has told me I know a thing or two before,” you said. His eyebrows raised, chin lifting.

“I bet he says things like he was in his head this morning and you just used that magic to make him feel excited about all the new things he gets to do in life with his daughter now, huh?”

“He’s a very good communicator when it comes to praising me,” you said, Dean’s smile turning dirty. “But I think he likes when I tell him how good he is even better.”

“He does like that,” he said, curling into your touch when you traced under his jaw. “Want to go tell me how good and loved I am and make me squirm?”

“Alas, we have a teenage girl getting ready for her graduation inside and she has a habit of walking into our room unannounced. Still.”

He chuckled, brushing his lips over your ear. “Alright. But when the kids are having their party, you and I can sneak off for an hour and have a Baby date, hm?”

“Dirty boy,” you teased, squeezing his ass. “I like it.”

“Me too,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Alright. Let’s go show off our little valedictorian.”

You smiled at Dean and the three slightly bored children sat beside him as you walked across the stage two hours later. You stopped at the podium, adjusting your gown for a split second before clearing your throat.

“Good morning everyone. Students. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Mrs. Winchester, a kindergarten teacher at the school district. For these students up here, most of you know me as Gracie’s mom,” you said, getting a quiet chuckle out of the crowd. Dean gave you a thumbs up, a light blush on your face. “I had the privilege of teaching a number of you all the way back in kindergarten if you guys can remember that long ago. Gavin, Derek. Nice to see you guys aren’t arguing over the same blue chair anymore.”

That one got a louder laugh, as you looked at the students, offering a smile.

“Normally we as teachers attempt to offer a bit of advice as you all go on to a new part of your lives. But I’m going to tell you all a secret instead. It’s a secret your parents all know and have never told you. See, adults don’t know as much as you guys think we do. Like we really do not have a clue,” you said, the crowd chuckling. “We’ve just had more time to make mistakes and figure out what works and what doesn’t for us. We’re all still on that journey and it’s a journey you all get to go on now. Be patient with yourselves in the future because anyone will tell you, it’s going to turn out differently than think it will. But that’s the fun of life too. Sometimes you’re a twenty four year old trying to figure out her new job and how to get two boys to stop fighting over the same blue chair literally every day the entire school year when there were twelve of the exact same chair-”

“Mrs. Winchester it was the special chair though!” called out Gavin, several other students nodding in agreement.

“You’re only telling me this now?” you joked, another laugh rippling through the crowd. “Needless to say, you may go to work single one day and then you might have a five year old set you up with her dad on the next.” 

Gracie was giving you a death glare but you saw a tiny smile underneath it.

“Point being, life’s going to happen fast and it’s going to get messy. Have fun. Enjoy the mess. You don’t know where it’ll lead you,” you said, lifting your chin. “Now I’d like to introduce this year’s valedictorian to you all. She’s a bright student, talented volleyball player, was in more clubs than I could count and she has a reputation among her teachers of always being helpful and kind. And as much as I’ve loved being able to watch all of you grow over the years, I’m a little bit biased and have to say she’s been my favorite. Gracie Winchester, come on up, kiddo.”

She still looked nervous, eyes locked on you, ignoring the clapping as she crossed the stage to meet you at the podium.

“Dad’s in the fourth row. Just look at him if you get scared,” you whispered in her ear as she nodded.

“Thanks mom,” she said, giving you a quick hug. You sat back in your seat off to the side with the other teachers, Mr. Colt leaning over in your ear.

“There’s a bet going on if there’s going to be tears,” he mumbled as Gracie shuffled her papers around.

“No way in hell, dude,” you laughed lightly.

“Oh not on you. Dean. Buy in’s five bucks that he does.”

“I’m not an idiot to take that bet,” you said, curious when Gracie stared at her papers and suddenly flipped them over.

“Hi,” she said, voice a tad higher than usual. “So I wrote a speech and everything but I think I want to go off script instead.”

She didn’t bother to turn back and check with the faculty that she could. Her speech had to be approved a few weeks back so you were interested where this was going.

“For the love of god, Y/N, tell me she isn’t going to drop an f-bomb in this,” said Mike, the high school principal sat directly behind you.

“Oh she wouldn’t dare do that. Let her break a rule for once and see what happens,” you said, Gracie gripping both side of the podium.

“At the start of last summer, I was in a car accident with my dad. A lot of my friends know this. The whole school knew but I never told anyone how bad it was. We almost died actually,” she said, Mike leaning forward. 

“Y/N, please tell me this isn’t going to get morbid…” 

“Shh,” you shushed him. Gracie inhaled sharply, putting on a smile.

“Normally in that kind of accident, my injuries would have been much worse, even fatal sometimes, but my dad put his arm in front of me to protect me the only way he could in that split second. I got hurt but I was okay. He ended up breaking that arm quite badly. He was in different casts and braces for close to five months. He was in physical therapy for nine. His arm is still covered in scars. Only recently has he been able to lift the things he used to, work out the way he once did.”

The room was dead silent, Gracie nodding to herself.

“He’s just a man,” she said softly. “He can be hurt. He’s not superman. Our parents, our families…no one’s indestructible. But I think my mom made a good point when she said to enjoy the mess. Life is going to mess with us wether it’s car accidents or our careers or getting our hearts broken. It’s going to get really messy for us really soon. But I think that’s a good thing. My life’s been messy already but good things came out of it. I know my dad might not be superman but he’ll do his best to be that for me always. I know my mom is as scared of public speaking as I am but she volunteered to go before me today to show me it’s no big deal. I know that my dad used to have a fake smile he’d wear for me because he thought I deserved a much better life and father than him.”

Your eyes skirted to find Dean in the crowd, his gaze locked on Gracie, his eyes wet but otherwise his composure solid.

“He was twenty eight years old and he was wrong about that by the way,” she said, giving him her know it all smirk, Dean grinning as he nodded back. “We’re only seventeen and eighteen years old. If people a decade older, two decades, more, are making mistakes, then we definitely are going to. It’s okay that we do. I can’t wait to make them and think the world is ending. We should all make mistakes so we can figure out what we want in life and find the good stuff instead. At the end of the day, I think the good stuff is all that matters. We don’t need supermans in our lives. Just good people. Plus we all know Batman is cooler and he’s just a dude.”

The crowd laughed, Dean smiling proudly, Gracie raising her chin.

“Want to make a mistake with me later dad?” she asked, a mischievous smile on her pink lips. He laughed deeply and nodded.

“Why the hell not?” he said. 

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll hold you to it. So…” she looked over at you, shrugging. “I’m done.”

“Why did I get into education? Even the good ones scare the shit out of me,” mumbled Mike as he stood and put on a smile. Gracie scooted back to her seat with a round of applause, Colt leaning over.

“Always knew the kid showing up to first grade in band shirts was going to turn out fucking awesome,” he whispered. You grinned, blushing as you looked at your lap. “Dean’s never let me say it to his face but I’ve met a lot of dads over the years. He’s one of the best. Those kids are lucky to have him, and you.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly. “Now tell me who lost in the betting pool.”

The Next Morning

“She is conked out,” said Dean at the highway rest stop. Gracie was passed out in the backseat while you let Chase and the twins stretch their legs over their breakfast sandwiches nearby. You grinned behind your sunglasses as you leaned against the SUV, Dean smirking back as he replaced the cap on the gas tank. “What?”

“I’m just so honored to be in the presence of the best dad like, ever.” He groaned, letting you wrap your arms around his trim waist. “She really fucking loves you, you know. She’s going to be calling you up when she’s fifty years old asking for help. World’s best dad right here.”

“Stop it!” he laughed. “You teased me all of yesterday. You going to torture me today too?”

“You like when I torture you,” you chuckled, batting your eyelashes at him. “It’s payback for not telling me what this mistake Gracie wants to make with you is.”

“Oh it’s nothing too bad. She just wanted to know if we could go get tattoos together.” You raised your eyebrows, Dean pursing his lips. “Mom’s cool with that?”

“It’s her body, honey and she is legally an adult. We told her last night no more curfew, no more a lot of rules. We need to let her start making those mistakes,” you said, Dean smiling softly at you. “But I mean she is a Winchester. I’d be more surprised if she didn’t want a tattoo.”

“She just wants a little dog paw on the inside of her wrist for Toby,” he said.

“She loved him so much. I love that idea,” you said. “We should get another dog. Feels a little too calm in the house the past six months.”

“Let’s look into it in the fall. Maybe a little surprise present for the kiddos,” he said, letting you trace your fingers over the scars on his right arm. “I was thinking of covering it up. Doctor’s say I’m fully healed, no more surgeries needed.”

“You can. Scars don’t bother me though,” you said, Dean watching you dance your fingers up and down. “Just no face tattoos. That’s where I draw the line.”

“Oh well now I have to,” he laughed, nuzzling your cheek as he hugged you. “What about flowers? I can get one for each of the kids and then you’ll have the biggest one obviously cause you’re the momma.”

“On your face?” you laughed, Dean rolling his eyes.

“My arm, smart ass. I’d much rather look down and see a reminder of why I’d get scars in the first place rather than the scars.” You rested your forehead against his shoulder, Dean rubbing your back. 

“Okay. But I’d like you to think of something small I can get for you and the kids. The papa gets protected in this family too.” He hummed, inhaling the scent of your shampoo.

“Thank you for reminding me of that all those years ago,” he whispered. 

“Always.” You heard a groan and spotted Gracie sitting up in her seat, her braid messy as she stared with narrowed eyes. “Well good morning our princess of darkness.”

“So loud,” she grumbled, opening the car door and sliding out. “I’m hungry.”

“Not surprising considering you survived off of cake and chips yesterday,” chuckled Dean. “Come on. Let’s go get you a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. That’ll perk you right up.”

“Coffee?” she asked, following him as they headed towards the rest stop.

“Oh you’re a Winchester. You’re gonna love coffee,” he said. You smiled as you watched them go, resting your head against the SUV.

You didn’t have time to be sad though, Olivia running over and saying the boys stole her hashbrowns.

“Maybe you guys being adults won’t be so bad,” you laughed to yourself. “Someday.”

___________

[ravel-puzzlewell]

can we talk about shadowheart tho. her writing absolutely baffles me. like. when she admits she's shar's cleric, she gives u a speech about how shar is misunderstood and that like she's all about exposing bad ppl, toppling corrupt governments, using shady methods to get shit done, etc.

cool, so she believes that shar achieves good goals, so like. to me it seemed that her arc would be about realizing how it's not true, becoming disillusioned in shar, cue good old thats me in the corner losing my religion etc etc

and it just never happens? like we see a lot of evil shit shar has done all over the place and shadowheart never questions it, never even tries to rationalize the answers to keep her faith, its like she just doesn't care. and we as a player can't confront her either, we can't say shadowheart do you think shar successfully utilized girlpower when she cursed entire region with radioactive shadows and split it's spirit in half? instead we find like. shar's torture device secret chamber and shadowheart goes awww i wanna be a dark justiciar so baaaaaad

and then. then at culmination, at scene where she's deciding to kill aasimar or not, you can't give her arguments. you can't be like look at everything that shar has done all over this place, do you still believe this is for greater good? what greater good can justify this? what higher purpose is there in senselessly killing a prisoner again and again?

no you can only say like. you can't allow your goddess to control you! what do you meeean. like??? this isn't how faith works. clerics supposed to like. BELIEVE in the same things their god does. so far shadowheart was pro-everything shar-related she saw. she's like. enthusiastically into it. even if she's brainwashed, she still very much WANTED to be dark justiciar. and now it's all - oh, its shar "controlling" her. like. Shadowheart even said that shar's head nun or whatever told her that she isn't ready to become dark justiciar. This is very much shadowheart's own initiative. Why is it framed around like listening to yourself, instead of changing BELIEFS?

and THEN. after she doesn't kill. aasimar says. "Don't you find it oh so curious you would spurn your Dark lady? Perhaps you feel a stirring of the truth already" and then later reveal that shadowheart was like. selunite kidnapped by shar ppl. and this is why she didn't kill aasimar. WHICH??

like apparently shadowheart is the first to show mercy in a century not because she had a chance to live outside of cult for a while, meet and befriend new people and broaden her worldview, realizing her cults doctrine is false. no no no. she did it bc she's just INHERENTELY a good person. she just like. had intrusive thoughts urging her to be good. she just needed listen to herself. bc she's actually a selunite and not sharran. and like, all other dark justiciar apparently are just inherently evil and it was never possible for them to choose not to kill.

like how do you take a perfectly serviceable narrative about cult member escaping brainwashing due to being able to socialize outsife of her cult and instead make it about Selunite essentialism.

[movedto-mrs-bluemarine]

VASILY CONTENT!!

Ik I have a whole ass blog for this shit but I know it won't get any attention over there (lol) so I'm posting it here 🫶 minors dni please and thanks, content warning for guns and um. Um. (No sex just extremely suggestive) I like to imagine Vas gets very antsy when he's flustered. It's my new favorite thing. I love torturing men.

Oh yeah um normal text in speech is English, whereas italics is meant to signify Russian. Until friends come in, in which case normal text is Japanese. She's a multilingual queen ok. (And I hc Vasily knows very little English)

“Dobroye utro, Vasily.”

The man's head immediately snapped up upon hearing her kind voice. The blonde woman was making her way through the trees, smiling down pleasantly as the Russian man was settled on the ground, rifle in hand. Her deep blue eyes took notice of the gun. The butt rested on the snowy floor, the barrel pointing at the sky above, while Vasily tinkered with something on its side. Curious, the German woman joined him, watching and teasing him as he worked. “Playing with toys?”

The redhead huffed, ignoring her little comment which made her giggle. She leaned in closer. Her hand rested on his knee. “Why, it's certainly a pretty toy… I think I've seen it before, Mosin-Nagant, ja?”

Impressed by her knowledge, Vasily nodded. His silent praise only made her smile widen. “I'm not too familiar with weapons, but my father being the man he was, he was very interested in what was used in the war, he talked to me about some of it… ah, but I'm rambling. You barely understand a word I'm saying.”

Her eyes traveled lower down his rifle. What amused her was the position of it, settled between his legs the way it was… it reminded her of another weapon of his she had the pleasure of seeing just a couple nights ago. How lucky she was to have such a caring, giving man to keep her warm in that cave…

Vasily didn't seem to notice her darkened gaze as fire licked at her insides. Oh, she couldn't help herself. She was a needy woman. The snow around them, the silence of the early morning forest, it all did little to pull her out of her fantasies. She was painfully aware that it was just the two of them again. Shiraishi and Sugimoto were nowhere to be seen, probably still out searching for that precious “white”.

One of her soft hands touched his on the grip of the rifle. He wasn't wearing his mittens, so she got to feel the warm, rough skin of his fingers. These same fingers that were on her when they-

“Is it loaded?” She asked as a precaution. Brows furrowed, Vasily shook his head with a low grunt.

Her fingers drew apart from his, caressing the magazine and traveling up the forestock of the gun. “Pretty… Not as pretty as your other gun.” Her words confused him. However, the way her hand moved… it gave him a suggestion of what she was talking about. It was terribly… sultry. The idea of what she was hinting at made his heart flutter in an foreign, uncomfortable way.

Her mind searched and searched for something more she could whisper to him in that unfamiliar language. She cursed herself for getting lazy with her Russian, who knew that she'd need it for something as important as him.

She leaned in closer, resting on her palm, ignoring the frosty bite of the ice beneath it. Her hand started moving, slowly pumping up and down the stock of his gun with a ghostly touch, her deep blue eyes pinning him down. “You're a good shot, not just with a rifle, y'know.”

That slow, quiet voice of hers speaking in his tongue, it did things to him. His mind was spinning, eyes fighting between her hand and her beautiful face, and trying not to peek at the collar of her button-up from the new angle.

Vasily huffed, a cute splotch of color coming onto what of his face she could see peeking from underneath his hood. She wasn't sure he even noticed how his own thighs lifted, spreading slightly, giving her more access to his weapon. The blonde purred, stopping her hand where the wood of his gun became metal. She firmly grasped the barrel. He acted like he felt her touch, thighs abruptly clamping shut, eyes unable to look away from her hand now. Her thumb rubbed the smooth cold metal, making its way to his tip. “...I'm not a fan of getting shot by bullets, but I wouldn't mind if you shot me with something else.”

A little giggle left her mouth as she heard the redhead curse, sounding like a garbled mess due to cloth and his ruined jaw. While his eyes were occupied, her face leaned in closer to his neck. She could feel his heat, could practically hear the drumming of his heart.

“You should teach me how to shoot someday, ja? I'd like to get some more practice with you. I'd love to feel it in my own two hands.”

Her hand touched his gun with nothing but affection in every caress. Even as her index finger reached the bottom of the long muzzle, circling it with her fingertip. Her eyes didn't leave his, watching desire and embarrassment and excitement all swirl behind those beautiful bright irises of his. Vasily's finger felt the biting cold of metal burning into his finger, slowly getting oh, so close to losing his damn mind. She decided one last little tease is what she'd give him. Putting on a sickeningly sweet voice that feigned embarrassment. “I do have some practice, but not a lot… Can you show me around, sokrovishche?”

Then there was the sound of a soft, familiar click. Seemed like the sudden sound got Vasily to snap out of his daze, his eyes lowering and focusing on his finger wrapped tight around the trigger of his rifle that was hitting the inside of the guard. Getting to see him so flustered got a laugh out of the woman. She leaned in closer, resting her head against his shoulder. “What do you say, dear? Please? Oh, don't make a girl beg.”

“Franz! Hood! Where the hell are ya’?!”

Siraishi’s voice bounced off the fresh snow, defeat and irritation present in his tone while he and Sugimoto came back to Heita’s hut empty handed.

“Ah, there you two are.” Sugimoto chimed in, watching Vasily practically drag the German woman behind him over a hill, huffing and puffing, face nearly as red as his hair. “What the hell’s gotten into him?”

“I suggested he teach me how to shoot his rifle, and he got so excited!” Franziska beamed. “I guess he’s really eager to show me!”

“I’ll say.” Shiraishi eyed the Russian man pulling Franz away from the group. “Maybe we should go with you-” Sugimoto tried to suggest.

“Oh, that’s okay! Vasil tells me he’s a better teacher when it’s one-on-one” Franziska smiled, showing teeth and closing her eyes. She called out before getting too far– barely fighting the man pulling her away from the rest, “We shouldn’t be gone for too long, I’m sure we’ll be alright on our own!”

Sugimoto waved them off. “Okay, don’t go too far! Hey, and be on the lookout for any bears!”

“And bring back something to eat!”

The blackhead turned, noticing the new, devious look on his friend's face, “Something wrong, Shiraishi?”

“Hmph, just thinking. I think I know that look. Hah! Haha!” Shiraishi skittered away, laughing evilly to himself. “I'd know it all too well…”

“...Is there something happening that I should know?” Sugimoto questioned while following him.

“Heh.” Shiraishi scratched his nose. “Nothing you should worry about. I'm sure Franz and Riding Hood will be okay, and if I'm right, we won't be missing them for too long.”

[bracketsoffear]

Maureen Miller (TAZ: Balance) "I saw beyond the omniverse

far past the places we should see

but for my vision I was cursed

torn from my home and family

lost to my Crystal Kingdom"

"Maureen was a scientist who attempted to view the entirety of the planar system simultaneously, but the knowledge of what she saw destroyed her mind and killed her. Even her ghost was not immune to the cosmic madness that the vision imposed on her, though she was able to suppress it for brief periods."

Jadis (Kill Six Billion Demons) "Jadis was born into a family of philosopher royalty who saw the Shape of the Universe as an experiment to study and dissect; they wasted ten generations in their efforts to witness the Shape (something that boiled a goddess’ eyes to see) and obtain all the secrets of Creation, a task she was prophecised to complete. She successfully saw the Shape, but it proved to be a thing beyond mortal ken and Jadis was shattered in both mind and body. She now exists inside a block of glass, a decaying, unmoving corpse, whispering prophecies with her perfect, terrible knowledge and worshipped by a cult devoted to recording and intepreting her whispers (and occasionally mis-interpreting them) while keeping their God-Queen alive. Book 5 demonstrates that, like the author has said, “Jadis knows the most, in fact. Of anyone. Ever”…and it has utterly destroyed her. Her perfect knowledge left her a deeply jaded, nihilistic woman who feels her actions, choices, and even her own identity (and everyone else's) are rendered completely moot when compared to the full shape of the universe. As someone who is ignorant of nothing, Jadis' limits are absolute and she is incapable of anything she hasn't already predicted will happen. She can't choose to do anything, because her decisions and their outcomes are already known to her. The alt text and some of her lines in her section of Breaker of Infinites discuss how if you can see everything, anything in it just becomes meaningless, unidentifiable noise in the infinite detail of it all: “When you see everything, there’s only one color left.” Jadis straight-up tells Allison that she, Jadis, does not exist in any meaningful sense because she can't tell where the lines between the Shape of the Universe and even her own mind are anymore. Consequently, Jadis tries to convince Allison to stop her mission to stop the destruction of the multiverse because she’s convinced that fighting is futile and meaningless in the end, so she should surrender instead of choosing more suffering. She takes Allison to see the machine that showed her the Shape, tells her the exact time from then she will die, comments on a personal detail of Allison’s past, and says what she’s doing before she does it (to make it creepier, her predictions were in the alt text several pages before). She then shows Allison the Shape and gives her a breaking speech to try and convince her to give up, and eventually talks Allison into accepting futility for months before she gets her shit together. Allison eventually realizes that Jadis is unable to change or recover from the traumas of her past because she no longer has a past - her perfect knowledge of everything that ever is, was, and will be means that she is constantly, continually reliving the complete and total despair that hit her when she saw the Shape and realized the futility of everything, and will do so for as long as she exists. Jadis wanted to know, believing that she could use her wisdom for the greater good, but the horrible knowledge she gained by seeing literally everything ever destroyed her so completely that she cannot comprehend being a person or making choices anymore--she has thus trapped herself in nihilistic certainty that she knows what’s going to happen and therefore nothing matters, and she wants to impress that mindset onto the only person she can even share her omniscience with anymore."

[team7-headquarter]

Really the reason Team Minato and Team Kakashi couldn't be all alive at the same time it's because the sheer intensity of their love and loyalty would overwhelm Konoha and they'd all explode.

Kakashi is probably the more sane. The rest are all in a competition of who can sacrifice themselves in the most tragic way and Kakashi is like why you keep doing this to me why you want to die so bad why can you wait a fucking minute and think of a solution where everyone walks away intact.

Naruto is second on this rank through plot armor and because he does believe everyone can make it out alive and still succeed in their missions. So he sacrifices himself but that's 'cause he's not dying, you get me? Yet he's first in love and loyalty. No explanation needed, go read the manga.

In third there's Minato, who sacrificed himself once but it was dramatic enough to balance it out. Being a martyr comes with being hokage AND the father of the protagonist, but yeah he died, third place. Plus his love for the village and for his family will never not be famous TwT

There's Rin??? It was not her fault or first choice but she is the token girl of being a martyr in this manga :( damn Kishimoto took her down like holy mary and I know she'd have sacrifice herself in other contexts, so yeah :(( really, it's so hard being a girl and a secondary character. She loved so much her team and she was so gentle and :(((((((

Listen, Sakura's count on tries of self-sacrificing is absurd and she knew more than once that she wasn't making it out alive. like, who fucked up this girl so bad she decided to use herself as a human shield? She would take her friends burden and explode herself with it if she knew that'd set them free— that's why she needed plot armor, 'cause Team 7 would not outlive her death. They'd snap.

Finally, the award to the most martyrs to ever martyr from these teams go toooooo:

The Uchihas.

Put on this Earth to suffer, powered by trauma. The plot chew and spit them multiple times 'til you couldn't recognize them— truly Uchiha style. There are worst cases? Yes. Itachi self-sacrificing sense would rival Jesus Christ and he kinda got it from Shisui, so... And well, Mikoto and Fugaku just sat there waiting for Itachi to kill them like what the fuck man. Love CAN be a curse.

Still, Obito is the original. He wins this miserable game with Sasuke a close second.

Obito died once gave THE speech that haunted the whole manga gave his eye to his bestie came back saw the girl he loved get killed by his bestie and went to sacrifice himself AGAIN becoming Madara's puppet. Only to get his sanity back in the middle of the war and sacrifice himself this time for good. His love and lost almost destroyed the shinobi world for good.

Sasuke has what is for me the most agonizing scream in the anime. That kid didn't deserve to be so badly manipulated and thrown around and be manipulated again and then be told it was all in his mind and he was crazy because he wanted to be crazy. I don't want to talk much because I fear Boruto with my life (can't trust it) but he is alive and and his marriage with Sakura only makes it worst 'cause they'd sacrifice themselves together for the village and then Naruto would try to do the same shit. Anyway, Sasuke's love is huge and he's the second protagonist of Naruto for a reason

[azuramarigold]

Wishes to Tell

Originally posted on my ko-fi - a short story blab.

FANDOM: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Nobara Kugisaki x Toge Inumaki

SFW. Mild violence. Mild cussing/cursing.

Cursed Energy gif by: https://ko-fi.com/setermd/shop

Dividers by: https://www.tumblr.com/saradika-graphics?source=share

SUMMARY: Nobara Kugisaki happens to be stubborn about a few things, but there is one person at Jujutsu High School that pays attention and makes sure she gets the care she needs, even though she doesn't realize it herself. It's the little things that shows that someone does care, even if they don't speak a lot.

Toge Inumaki for the most part hates in Clan Curse Technique of "Curse Speech". He had to develop his own set of safe words to use in order not to hurt people on accident. The one person he really wants to speak with and spend time with has a difficult time understanding his safe words, but that doesn't mean he still doesn't do things to show that he still cares.

It was another day of training at Tokyo Jujutsu High School, the sun blaring down something extra fierce.

            Nobara was starting to really regret not buying a thinner track suit for training, or just wearing shorts and a tank top. She was sweating like crazy, the small hairs from her bangs sticking to her forehead like concrete. Her orange eyes were half lidded as she huffed and puffed, clearly exhausted from the heat.

            “Nobara, you alright?” Maki’s voice asked worriedly. “Don’t pass out on me now.”

            “Pass out?” Nobara scoffed with a smirk. “As if! I still have plenty of fuel left!”

            Of course, this was a lie. She was completely exhausted. Her eyes were fluttering. She was hot.

            “Tuna Tuna,” Inumaki’s voice then said, him pressing a cold bottle of water to her.

            “Huh…?” Nobara murmured. “Oh, I’m good, Inumaki-Senpai, I have my water by my bag.”

            Inumaki’s violet eyes narrowed in concern. “Mustard Leaf,” he then said, thrusting the water to her. He had his own bottle of water in his hands and gestured between his and the one he forced on her. With a small hand motion, he mimicked opening the bottle and pointed at hers.

            “I’m not thirsty,” she argued stubbornly.

            Inumaki pinched the corners of his eyes and sighed, “Fish Flakes…”

            Nobara finally rolled her eyes. “Fine, Inumaki-Senpai, if I drink the water will you stop being weirder than usual?” she nearly snapped.

            “Salmon.”

            “Ugh…” Nobara then opened her water and took a sip. Then she realized just how thirsty she was and downed the whole bottle in one swig. “Oh… wow. I guess I was thirsty.”

            “Salmon,” Inumaki nodded happily. He then gave a small wave and walked away.

            Maki gave a frown. “HEY! YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A WATER!” she screamed at him.

            “BONITO FLAKES!” Inumaki shouted in terror as Maki made a tear at him.

            Nobara tilted her head to the side, confused. Why wouldn’t he bring water for Maki as well…? She decided not to overthink it.

🌹🌹🌹

“Ah, shit… I tore my skirt again...!”

            Nobara, Itadori, and Fushiguro just got back from a basic First Year mission. It was an easy Curse to deal with. Fushiguro went at it with his shikigami as usual and Itadori went in with his punches. Nobara, being more of a distance fighter, stayed further back, pounding her nails imbued with her Cursed Energy and doing her Straw Doll technique to deal damage when needed.

            Occasionally, though, a Curse gets up on her physically. She Is not as physically strong as Itadori or Fushiguro, or nearly as fast as the former, so her ranged attacks become harder to use. Nobara would try her best to slam a nail into the enemy head on, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough.

            Luckily, all she got this time was a torn skirt. Itadori managed to punch the Curse away from her with one Divergent Fist while Fushiguro’s Divine Dog: Totality finished it off swiftly. It was missions like these that made Nobara realize that she needed better combat skills.

            Nobara sat in the courtyard of the school in casual clothing, a nice pleated purple and white checkered skirt, white penny loafers with white tights, and a light purple blouse, as she tried to repair her school uniform. 

            “Now I wish I paid more attention to my grandma when she was trying to teach me to sew…” the teen grumbled. “OW!” she shouted, once again stabbing herself with the needle.

            “Kelp,” Inumaki greeted with a held-up hand. He was also wearing casual clothing; a short-sleeved white jacket with its high collar to cover his mouth, the bottom of his black t-shirt poking out from the jacket, and he was wearing white shorts.

            “Hi, Inumaki-Senpai,” Nobara greeted back glumly.

            The second year raised a brow as he saw what she was working on. “Mustard Leaf…?” he asked.

            From what Nobara gathered, “Mustard Leaf” seemed to be a phrase he used when he was concerned over something.

            “It’s nothing, I just tore my skirt while on a mission,” she assured him with a small smile.

            Inumaki cleared his throat. He then gestured to the skirt and the small sewing kit next to her. When she looked at him confusedly, he began making a basic sewing motion and pointed at himself.

            “You… know how to sew?” she clarified.

            “Salmon!” he agreed. Even with the jacket covering his mouth, his eyes told it all: he was smiling.

            “I can use the help…” she admitted. “I don’t know how really…”

            Inumaki sat next to her and gingerly took the needle and thread from her grasp. “Salmon Roe…” he almost chided. He then showed her how to properly thread the needle and showed her how the one single piece of thread she had tied to the needle was now almost doubled and tied off at the end, the needle moving freely. “Tuna Tuna…!” He showed her the needle and thread.

            “Oh… that’s how you thread it…” she said sheepishly.

            A nod. Inumaki then turned the skirt inside out and found where the tear was. He attentively began to sew the tear together, closing it effortlessly. Once done, he inverted it back and held it toward Nobara.

            “Wow…! I don’t even see it!” she smiled happily. “Thank you, Inumaki-Senpai!”

            “Salmon, Salmon,” the young man affirmed. 

            “Hey, since we’re already in casual clothes, wanna go grab something to eat in town…?” Nobara offered with a smile.

            A blush flushed up Inumaki’s cheeks. “Sa… Salmon…” he then said.

            “I’m guessing that’s a yes!” Nobara then stated. She stood up quickly and threw her skirt into her side pack before grabbing Inumaki’s hand. “Let’s go…! I know a cute little café that has that best drinks and cakes!”

            “Tuna Mayo…?”

            “Um… if you don’t like cakes… they have dessert onigiri…?” she then offered.

            A genuine laugh escaped Inumaki. “Salmon Roe… Salmon Roe…” It was almost as if he couldn’t believe she said that. 

🌹🌹🌹

A month later, Nobara was pouting on the stairs inside the school, her head balanced on her hand as it was on her knee.

            “Mustard Leaf…?” Inumaki then asked.

            He has some uncanny timing coming to me when I have an issue.

            “Oh, hey, Inumaki-Senpai,” Nobara greeted with a subtle wave.

            Inumaki narrowed his eyes in concern, something Nobara came to notice as his way of saying “What’s wrong?”

            “Oh, I was in town today,” she began with a heavy sigh. “I won’t sugarcoat it, I saw a cute guy and tried to flirt with him… he told me that he rather date a man than a brute looking girl like me. Like, who says that!?” Her voice had wavered at the end, her lips quivering. She didn’t realize it affected her that much.

            “Assholes do,” Inumaki said abruptly.

            It came as such a surprise to them both that they just stared at each other in shock. As they stared at each other, a blush went across both of their faces.

            “I think… that’s the first time I’ve heard you speak that wasn’t your technique or rice ball ingredients,” Nobara teased with a smirk.

            “Salmon…” Inumaki then agreed, back to his safe words.

            “It was… nice,” she then admitted. “It would be nice if you talked a bit more outside your rice ball ingredients.”

            “Can’t,” was the singular word he said as he shook his head.

            “Are you worried people will get hurt?” Nobara asked curiously.

            “People have,” he affirmed. “And… I don’t… want my friends…” He then paused as he didn’t want to say something to cause the Curse Speech to activate.

            Nobara then nodded. “Okay, I get it… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed it,” she apologized sincerely. “You’re just being considerate… unlike that asshole in town today… could’ve just said he wasn’t interested or something…” She then gave him a small huff, although not truly directed at him, as she got up and gave him a small wave. “See ya around, Inumaki-Senpai.”

            Inumaki returned the wave, feeling a sense of guilt in his chest. He wished he could speak to her properly. There were many things that he wished he could say to her.

            Like how her eyes sparkled when she found something she enjoyed, whether it was a new piece of clothing she bought, or she was enjoying a new flavor of bubble tea she discovered at a hole-in-the wall shop. Or how even though she thought of herself as weak, she was very strong, never backing down from a fight no matter the odds; it took every fiber of his being not to find a way to get a description of the guy that called Nobara a “brute” so he could really show off how dangerous his Cursed Speech was.

            Inumaki just had to show how he cared subtly, like just being there to listen, or giving her water when he noticed she was dehydrated. When they were at the dessert shop a month prior, he sat contently, listening to Nobara ramble about the mission she was on, or how she couldn’t wait to get her compensation from said mission so she could get a new dress for the upcoming autumn season.

🌹🌹🌹

He doesn’t go into town often on his own unless it’s for a mission, but he did this time as he knew Nobara was going into town alone.

            Toge wasn’t a fan of her going by herself as he knew she had a knack for getting herself into trouble. If she was with Itadori or Fushiguro, that was a different story, at least those two could cause Curses or other potential threats to back off. But here Nobara was, dawdling around with her bag twirling around her, a perfect target for anyone to try and snatch.

            It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to take care of herself in a fight, Toge knew that. Nobara always had her hammer and nails on hand, and even without her traditional Straw Doll, she knew how to craft one how of various materials within a pinch. The girl could throw a punch, if necessary, as well – Itadori could attest to that.

            So, Toge followed from a distance, staying in the crowd, grunting apologies if he bumped into someone.

            When Nobara stopped in front of a window looking at a new dress collection for the season, a young man scoffed at her that was walking by.

            “Oi, I didn’t know brutes like you knew how to shop for dresses!” the young man sneered.

            Nobara immediately snapped into attention and gave the man a glare. “Hey, what do you want?” she boredly asked. “You already said what you wanted to say a couple of weeks ago, so leave me alone.”

            The guy laughed to another friend that was next to him, “This is that chick that tried to flirt with me before,” he explained, not bothering to hide laughter. “Told ya she was practically a gorilla!”

            Nobara narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, her black ballet flats tapping on the concrete. “Well, this gorilla is gonna kick your ass in a minute if you don’t leave me the hell alone,” she threatened.

            “Hey, just trying to have a good time,” he chided lightly. “I bet even brute girls like you wanna have a good time, right?”

            “Excuse me?” Nobara hissed in offense. “Are you trying to imply something here?” She began to reach for her side and out came her hammer.

            The young man howled in laughter, “Oh, wow! What are you gonna do? Build me house like its that stupid battle royale game?” He then grabbed her arm that held her hammer, her wincing in pain with a yelp.

            Toge had enough from listening from a distance once he saw the grab, especially after what the guy had insinuated with Nobara. He quickly pushed his way between two people, them grumbling at how rude he was, as he made his way to her.

            “Kelp,” Toge greeted casually to Nobara, a hand raised.

            Nobara whirled her head to him in surprise. “In-Inumaki-Senpai…!?” she gasped. “Wh-What are you doing here…!?”

            All Toge did in response was unzip the collar of his jacket, revealing his “Snake and Fangs” seal on his tongue and cheeks. 

            “The hell…?” the asshole young man grunted. “What kind of freakshow is this?”

            “Go away,” Toge said to the young man’s friend that was just idling. 

            Without a second thought, a blank look overtaken the friend’s face, and he turned to his left and began walking away. The asshole raged, his face turning red.

            “Hey, where do you think you’re going!? GET BACK HERE!” he screamed.

            Toge gave a smirk as he looked at the young man’s left arm, which was still gripping Nobara’s arm. “Let go.” He ordered.

            The young man immediately let go. “HUH!? WHAT THE!?” he shouted.

            “Get twisted.”

            The arm twisted counterclockwise with a snap, the bones piercing through the skin and blood splattered out.

            “AUUUGHHHH! WHAT THE FU-!”

            “Tuna Mayo!” Toge then quickly said to Nobara as he grabbed her hand and sprinted away from the scene, dragging her along as he screeched in surprise.

            Toge dragged her a few blocks before they stopped, catching their breath. “Caviar…” he gasped for breath.

            “Inumaki-Senpai, I could’ve handled it…” Nobara then huffed, trying to catch her breath.

            “I… know…” Toge replied. “I didn’t like… that he grabbed you…”

            Nobara’s face flushed. “Huh…? Were you… watching me…?” she asked him shyly.

            “Salmon…”

            Nobara looked stunned for a moment, then she started laughing. “At least you don’t think I’m a brute, right?” she asked him.

            “Never,” Toge told her with a smile. “Bonito Flakes to the max.” 

            Another laugh escapes her. “Well… thank you,” she thanked him. “I mean that, Inumaki-Senpai. And not just for today… but for all the little things you’ve been doing for me too…”

            As Toge never zipped back up his jacket to cover his mouth, his mouth opened and closed as he didn’t know how to process his words. What safe words to use? Can he use real words? His cheeks flushed a deep pink.

            “You can try saying ‘You’re Welcome’,” Nobara teased with a grin.

            “Um… You’re welcome…” Toge finally said.

            “There! Not so hard, is it?” she playfully said to him. Without even thinking, she pecked a kiss on his cheek and stretched. “Now I need some bubble tea from that nonsense from that dickhead… Wanna get some bubble tea…?”

            Toge’s brain was fried from just the peck on the cheek. 

            “Earth to Toge,” Nobara snapped her fingers in front of his face, him just barely registering that she used his first name. “Bubble tea?”

            “Yes!” he then practically shouted.

            A teasing smirk played on her lips. “Look at you, not using ‘Salmon’ to agree,” she told him.

            “Look at you, knowing what ‘Salmon’ meant,” he countered with his own cheeky smirk. His eyes widened at the realization that he just casually talked without safe words. Nothing happened – no one was cursed. She wasn’t cursed.

            Nobara held out her hand and Toge placed his hand in hers. “Come on, Tuna Boy, bubble tea isn’t gonna buy itself.”

            “I’m buying…?”

            “You’re buying…” Nobara tried to emphasize her words forcibly.

            Toge laughed, “Salmon Roe… You’re Cursed Speech is not very good… But I’ll do it.”

            “YAY!”

A/N: Did I make a reference to "Fortnite"? Yes. Yes I did. Did I play the game? I did - for a week until Epic Games pissed me off so bad. Wouldn't connect my Ps5 account to my actual Epic Games account - which cost me progress and roughly $50 of vBucks that I used to buy skins that I could no longer get. Epic Games tried to gaslight me saying it was a "misunderstanding" on my end on the instructions they gave me in an email, but I literally highlighted their stuff and sent it back because they legit pulled a "Trust me bro" move on me. So, yeah, that's why I don't play the game anymore or I would totally have the JJK skins by now.

[childotkw]

Ok so izuna brought regulus black to the Uchiha... How did the other clans react?? Did they try to find him in his village only to find out that he was taken by the Uchiha??

"So, they got you, did they?"

Regulus looked up from the scroll he was trying to read to see Shirori leaning against the doorway to his - unofficial - office. He wrinkled his nose at the Nara clan head, knowing exactly what she was talking about, and dropped the scroll. He slumped back in his seat with a soul-deep groan.

Shiori snickered, pushing upright and approaching with a slow gait. She plopped down on the seat across from him, one arm thrown over the back in a comfortable slouch.

"You don't have to be so amused by it," he muttered, rubbing at his temple.

"I did tell you," she teased, the low drawl of her voice soothing. "Thought it the second I saw you - and here we are." She gestured loosely at the trademark Uchiha shirt Madara had practically wrangled over his head this morning.

Regulus huffed, but he couldn't stop the answering smile from creeping onto his face.

"How quickly did they slap that uchiwa on you?" she asked, her curtain of thick black hair falling over her shoulder when she tilted her head.

Regulus rolled his eyes, trying not to sound fond. "Izuna was seconds away from chaining me to their compound after I saved him. They all but had the adoption papers filled out when I scampered away."

Shiori snorted, quiet chuckles slipping into the air. "When we'd heard, I laughed for about ten minutes. Most of us already suspected you were an Uchiha."

Regulus sighed, his head falling back. "Oh for - I'm not an Uchiha," he protested, for what had to be the nth time because these stubborn assholes were selectively deaf.

"You do look like them," Shiori said, because she was secretly a shit-stirrer and Regulus knew it.

"I could look like you," he shot back. "Maybe I'm actually a secret-Nara."

"Nah, I already checked the clan records," she admitted, smiling wickedly when Regulus made a surprised sound. "What?" she cocked an eyebrow. "You think we wouldn't have claimed you if given the chance? My daughter was all but throwing herself at you when we had you at our compound. She gave me a three-hour speech on why you'd make a good potential husband."

Regulus, who had been peppered with betrothal proposals since before he was born, cursed his fair complexion as he flushed. "Sayuri is ten," he choked out.

Shiori's smile grew teeth. "She knows what she wants."

Regulus buried his face in his hands.

[starklyscifi]

Cursed By The Blood

(a flash fiction story by EJ Stark, for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt "blood is thicker than water")

CN: death

Great Aunt Ida’s death was the best thing that ever happened to her. At the funeral, Emma made a long-winded speech about the best moments of her young life, sitting in great Aunt Ida’s living room, drinking bitter coffee, listening to Ida tell her stories. 

Emma’s mother did not appreciate the “best moments of her life” line. 

Emma did not care. It was a lie anyway. 

Her best memories were the moments in between. Driving her 1991 blue Volvo down the highway with her fingers out the window. Stopping at the gas station and putting too many creamers into a cup of bad coffee. Sitting in the public park behind the old elementary school for five minutes of blissful freedom.  

Ida left all $30,000 of her life savings to Emma. 

And she was nice enough to die just after Emma had finished her online college degree. Her mother insisted she do a remote degree rather than moving away. So the day the bank transfer came through with her inheritance, Emma paid six months rent up front for an apartment in the mid-sized city two hours away, where everyone went to do their monthly Target run and packed a suitcase. Even her family’s methods couldn’t convince Target to come to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. 

She left. After burning everything else she used to own on the lawn, leaving a giant scorch mark for her mother to come home to. 

The apartment was damp and dark. Emma stopped using the harsh overhead light. She bought a lamp at Goodwill that made a disturbing crackling noise every time she turned it on. She turned the lamp on early tonight as a storm rolled in. 

She hunched over her laptop. The rain intensified, pounding on the window so hard she couldn’t hear the knocking until it let up. 

The knocking didn’t go away. 

Opening the door, she wished the rain had kept up. 

Her mother was standing in the hallway, dripping water onto the stained carpeting. She stared at Emma. Emma stared back. 

“Don’t you dare close that door in my face.” 

The old woman down the hall, the one that Emma was sure had called the landlord and complained about Emma making too much noise, cracked her door open. 

“Then I guess you’d better come in.” 

They continued to stare at each other. Emma from the broken chair and her mother from the only couch cushion that didn’t have a mystery stain on it. 

“I see you’re still running from your responsibilities.” 

Emma folded her arms. “I don’t think I should have to pay for decisions made before I was born.” 

“How is your abysmal minimum wage service job?” her mother asked, eyeing the Facebook Marketplace chair, missing a leg and currently propped up with the pile of books Emma had brought with her. 

This is what happened when you came from this type of family. She knew what really lived in the woods, how to summon it, how to keep it out. But she was terrified of customer service. So she hunched herself over her computer, her spine rounding like a shrimp’s, desperate for a remote job. Punching keys and inputting numbers in exchange for her rent. 

All she had to show was two months of rejection letters. 

No. 

No. 

No. 

She was convinced no one would ever say yes to her unless they were terrified of her family’s connection to “the land.” That was what the locals called it. She knew what they meant by “land” even if they didn’t.  

She’d been down with her mother to the deep, dark place in the forest. She had looked long through the trees and seen what was really growing in the mountains so ancient they predated the seas. 

“I won’t come back. I never wanted to stay in that town. So carry on with your shit and leave me to mine.” 

“Being born into this family comes at a cost.” 

The rain continued. Emma worried slightly that the window would break, shattering into a million pieces that would never come out of the carpet, no matter how much she vacuumed. 

“Nothing bad is going to happen because I was a little independent.” 

“The town will rot into what it was before us.” 

Emma looked her mother straight in the eyes. 

“Then let it rot.” 

Her mother had realized twenty minutes ago that her daughter wasn’t going anywhere. Emma had realized that her mother would realize her daughter wasn’t going anywhere the moment she opened the door.  

So when her mother tried to get off the couch and couldn’t, Emma smiled. 

“Having trouble, Mother?” 

“There is a price for this,” her mother hissed. 

Emma leaned forward and whispered, “I know.” 

Her mother continued to struggle, the hidden bundle under the couch sucking the life out of her. Emma knew her mother would only sit on the cushion without the stains. 

The bundle had sat under that cushion for three weeks. Ever since the day Emma realized she would have to completely cut ties with her family and everything they were attached to. 

She looked away as the skin on her mother’s hands flaked off and her eyes went glassy and still. 

The rain disappeared. The Goodwill lamp flickered and died. Moonlight pooled on the carpet. 

A shadowy figure existed on the other end of the couch. It had always existed in that spot. A tiny part of her brain tried to protest that fact, but it was wrong. 

“We’re even now,” she said. 

The figure smiled. “What a child you are.” 

Emma sat up straighter, looking at the figure’s face, or where the face should have been. Her hands did not shake. “I know how to deal with things like you.” 

“When you deal with ancient things, you put yourself at their mercy.” 

“But the rules—”

The figure cackled and vanished. 

[prettybluelites]

Thoughts: The Curse of the Seafaring Life

Okay, fine, I'll watch Episode 5 one more time.

I have watched this half a dozen times by now and I have straight up howled every time Ed says "this here is a ship, and it's a space ship." The delivery combined with the hand gestures - I'm dead. I'm finished. Fucking genius.

A couple posts down I expounded on the fact that Ed is literally wearing sackcloth, still fascinated by that. Also wondering how much trouble he's having making the change from the infamous leathers to a loose-fitting linen onesie :P

That awkward position of, Do I clap, do I do nothing, or do I give the finger - so real

Does the mad cat on the new flag remind anyone else of the union rat inflatables that striking unions use?

Izzy got a new leg and it turned him into a right little sass pot

"I'm your captain! Wait, I can do it better." This whole scene is awesome and "That's the captain's chair" makes me laugh almost as hard as the space ship bit

Thinking a lot about Ed offering to let Lucius push him off the ship when it soon becomes clear that that isn't exactly what Lucius needs - I guess I'll just leave it at, I love how neatly the show illustrates that everyone heals differently

The shot of Izzy training on the gundeck is gorgeous and I'm not just saying that because of the Pecs of Death. And I love that he took himself down there and set all that up and took up his training his own self, idk, it feeds a lot of my headcanon about what sort of person Izzy is outside the context of Blackbeard - disciplined and fastidious

Love a good training montage, especially one that involves ass-slapping. And I love this new normal where Stede and Izzy, like, hang out and converse.

Will never grow tired of the fact that not one but both of Ed's shoes fly off

Really into geometry, lol. One of those superstitious bitches would have known what a pentagram was

Every girl loves an outfit she can twirl in

Third reliable lol of the episode: "draw me as, like, a steely...lord"

I was so busy thinking about Lucius and Pete each reckoning separately with Ed that I forgot to think about Lucius and Pete reckoning with each other. So glad this is a part of the storyline.

There really is nothing like a peanut butter sandwich. And then to be there when they were invented? Wow. :D

The scene with Ed and Fang in the boat is like Lucius recounting his horrors a couple episodes ago, shouldn't be funny, but...it's funny

Lucius is a man of some learning, he should know that Izzy's shark story is not, strictly speaking, fiction: A metaphor is a figure of speech that describes an object or action in a way that isn't literally true, but helps explain an idea or make a comparison.  (Thanks, Grammarly!) Izzy's not covering up shit with that story, he's explaining an idea.

STG if Izzy and Lucius don't make out by the end of this series...

Roach's comment about Frenchie's beautiful body, lmao

Anyone ever see Northern Exposure? There was a great scene in an early episode of that show where Joel was trying to figure out how Marilyn could sit still and quiet on her shifts as his receptionist and he was just boggled that she could, as Fang puts it, sit with herself. I'm not sure if this quote was from that episode, but I know it's a Marilyn quote: Words are heavy like rocks … they weigh you down. If birds could talk, they wouldn't be able to fly. That has stuck with me for a looong time. Anyway, sorry to blather, that's what this bit of Fang and Ed's conversation reminds me of.

Obvs the shirt needed to stay for plot reasons but also glad Stede got to keep it because he looks fine AF

Awwww Lucius and Pete, I love their love. I laughed and cried.

That feeling when someone reacts in all the right ways to all the right parts of your stories ♥

So much to love about this scene, obviously. Much has already been written about the kiss (THAT KISS!!) and Ed asking to go slow and Stede meeting him where he's at, but I am obsessed with the way Ed looks down, ever so slightly surprised, when Stede takes his hand. When, in Ed's adult life, has someone held his hand in a romantic context? It really is perfect.

And all that is to say nothing of Sometimes it's nice to be patient and wait. Jesus H Christ. When those two finally fuck, brains are going to melt and run out of the ears of fans all over the world.

Okay, phew! That was a lot, thank you for reading!

As a reward for your perseverance, here's a bonus quote I found while I was looking up Marilyn's bird quote:

"We are all pirates at heart. There is not one of us who hasn't had a little larceny in his soul. And which one of us wouldn't soar if God had thought there was merit in the idea? So, when we see one of those great widespread pirates soaring across the grain of sea winds we thrill, and we long, and, if we are honest, we curse that we must be men every day. Why not one day a bird!  There's an idea, now, one day out of seven a pirate in the sky. What puny power a man can attain by comparison. Compare a 747 with a bird and blush!"

Roger Caras, Birds and Flight, 1971.

[soft-persephone]

Minx Season 2 Epjsode 6???

I am.. gagged. I truly am speechless (but also kinda not because here I am making this post).

Joyce and Shelly? That was truly brilliant. Joyce is a lil bit selfish by nature of her attention seeking and other validating tendencies, but to learn that their mother walked out on them and Shelly is kind of like her mother figure as well as her sister?? That changes so much of how I view them in season 1!

Shelly is so right about Joyce! I am so glad she’s taking more time and agency for herself as well as in terms of her sexuality! I am so glad she’s able to explore that with other woman other than Bambi! Shelly is so smart and capable, it was amazing to see the more personally side of her and how she may navigate herself through certain professional as well as relationship field!

Open marriage?!?!!

This show does character so well. And they just keep so much shit to themselves that they’ll give us all the answers to our questions with one little line, but it still makes so much sense! It still feels very true to the character and executed perfectly!

How is this show this good?

I am yelling at the sun at this point!

And TINA?!?! DOUG?!?!

That could have went either way!

This show and the way it build suspense and plays with your expectations. I was more nervous than they were about this dinner! Like yay proposal! But the more they brought up the family business it was obvious what they wanted you to think about it in terms of Tins, Doug, and what they have at bottom Dollar.

But they don’t do that! Like any of it!

Tina and everyone in the family hates that fucking stationary company💀

I’m still laughing at how she told her mom she needs to sell it and stop passing it around like a cursed hot potato!

The conversation Doug has with her brother Marvin? How they all claimed he stole Tina away and charmed her into being his secretary? And like talked her out of her family?

That is a serious conversation, but on the other hand funny as hell. Because that the first thing black family will say when you leave home supposedly with a new partner!

Like the snake charmer comment made at Doug had me rolling!

But they wrap it all up with Doug defending himself but just giving her some speech probably about how she has potential and how amazing she is, and giving her the courage to leave herself!

And then her brother is automatically convinced to just leave! Doesn’t even have a passion! Just goes with trucking and tells everyone deuces!!

Funny and heartwarming.. have I mentioned how much I love this show?

And we learn in real form with Doug that Tina is supposedly going to be the head of Minx International!

And we like Tins, have no idea what that’s going to be.

But he’s not even mad or sad. He just wanted her to tell him. Because he tells her everything! Good or bad.

And Now we don’t even know if they are on the same page relationship wise!

I am pulling out my hair at the roots!! Like I am relived but my hearts still broken! What happens now? Is she taking Doug with her? What the fuck does he even do anymore?!?!

Constance better count her mother f’n days!

I think she’s tryna keep him at bottom Dollar and out it out of business. I mean he own 49%, but he doesn’t have a day on anything but merch at this point. And now Tina is over international.

So where does Doug go?

What is Constance planning? Whatever it is, she wants him out the picture and I am terrified!

So far no one but Bambi is noticing how scattered they all are!

……down to the C plot with Richie and Bambi on drugs, this show does a lot!

Bambi thinks of everyone as a little found family and not the “co workers” that they are as Richie points out!

Which is very ironic because he calls Doug and Tina Mom and Dad in that one episode during season 1 (callback bitch! I am smart!)

And Richie is very much a mood in that regard. However they do have a bond. They’ve all been with each other at their lowest, and Bambi just wants to make sure their together at their highs too!

And Richie is very in tune with his own career and artistic voice! There’s a lot of demand but Joyce isn’t letting him flurish on Minx!! And he’s also very concerned about his BAG! As he mf should!

But he is very obviously (or should be obviously) queer!

And the journey to his self portrait is as funny as it is heartwarming!

This episode ended kinda heavy.

I think it’s about Joyce now fully hating her success. Or just being a it embarrassed by what she just did.

If that was me I would have just jumped off the plane.

In conclusion, I still have an unhealthy relationship to this show and it’s fictional characters. I might need serious help, but this is a fandom space on tumblr, so I’m just a “super fan” that makes “fan related content.”

[chlocxli]

Interview: Chloe Li

Name: Chloe Li Age: 26 Species: Human (Clairvoyant) Circle: Power Known Relationships: Connor Talbot II (Best Friend), Thaddeus James (Circle Leader), Karlha Whitlock (Formerly Indebted to), Lilith Gaumond (Close friend/date for the evening + avoid end of the world gang), Cameron Kiskadden, Kel Trebond, Elias Hart, Matthew Coleman-Reyes, Sebastian Harker (avoid the end of the world gang), Esmeray Talbot (ex-girlfriend/friend/bound to)

What's your name?

“Is— what is this, procedural? Whatever, sorry, I know. You ask, I answer.” It’s not like either her or Nora love this situation. She clears her throat and starts again, “Chloe Li.” 

How do you know Tabitha Spencer?

”I don’t really know her,” Chloe says simply. “I know her Brother, Bash, better than I know her. But, I’ve never heard a bad word uttered about her, either. It’s always been ‘wow, what a nice kid’ or things like that.” And, maybe there was a bit of bias in that idea. She had been there that night, she had been watching everything with an Eagle’s eye, and more so, she knew the power of gut feeling. Whatever happened that night was not on Tabitha.

How do you know Jose Alves Cruz?

Chloe shrugs, pushing herself back in her seat as her head falls back over the back of the chair before coming back to a seated position. “Another one of those Underground Namesakes. He’s the Mayor, but everyone knows that. I know he’s Jo’s Dad. I know he dodges Security, and he’s a tried to true politician for better or worse. Likely worse, if you ask me, but I guess that’s just an opinion.” She leans forward then. “I also know I saw him that night right before the fireworks off looking far too uneasy for someone watching a bunch of speeches about how great the Underground can be.”

How do you know Hollis Fiala?

“This is all on the record, right?” Better not to berate a Circle Leader for a court made up of the very same people. Whether Hollis had any say over the thing or not, Chloe didn’t need another enemy. “They’re the Circle Leader for the Wild. Related to Cerese, descendant of the High Court in the Fae realm— take your pick of the titles they tote and then some. I know they took an iron bullet to the shoulder that night at the party. That’s about as much interaction as I’m willing to have with them at this point, though.”

Did you see the shot happen/what happened that night from your perspective?

“I didn’t see the shot go off,” Chloe explains, “Shit happened fast— Can I curse during this? Whatever. I remember hearing two shots, and given that I was there due to seeing a vision that there would be a possible attempt on Karlha Whitlock’s life that night? I admit that my attention went to her first. By the time I realized it wasn’t her that had been shot at, everything was over, and the crowd started panicking. For the record, I couldn’t tell you what happened in my vision for that shot to go from Karlha to Hollis, but clearly something changed, because that Washerwoman craft we had with us that night told us clearly there was someone there who meant to harm Karlha. That much I can say as a fact.”

When did you get the invitation for the party/know you were going to work it?

“Whenever the mail decided to drop it off. It’s more of a courtesy, though, being in the Power Circle. You know you’re going to that party before the invitation comes, might as well forget about making other New Years plans if you want to stay in some sort of decent standing with the rest of the Circle. I’ve known I was going since New Years last year.” She shifts, almost nervously. “It was a little different this year, though, I’ll admit. That vision I mentioned earlier? The one about Karlha? I had reason to believe that attempt would take place at the party. And, so, I got some people together, and we decided we were going to put a stop to that. We had medical supplies, counter protective measures in place, and crafts in an effort to help us sniff out the danger before it came to any shots being fired. Clearly, we were not that lucky, but at least Karlha is alive.” Hollis, too, though Chloe was still debating if that was a relief or a shame. 

Did you go with someone?

“Depends on how you mean. If you were to ask anyone there, Lilith Gaumond was my date. But, really, I was there with a few people. Lilith, Cam, Kel, Elias, Matthew, and Bash. We were all there with the same goal in mind: Keep Karlha alive. Like I said, it doesn’t make sense how that switched. Up until a couple hours before midnight, it still seemed like someone was out for Karlha, and she’s very much fine, thank Guide and Cicerone for that. I’m just going to keep harping on that one, because it makes exactly zero fucking— sorry —zero sense, seeing as Tibby is a part of Karlha’s pack. Why the fuck would she go into that party with the plan to hurt Karlha and pivot to shoot Hollis instead?”

Do you own a gun/have you ever owned a gun?

“No, never owned one. I’ve never really felt the need. Maybe I’m overly confident in how well I can defend myself with bear mace and my fists, but it wasn’t something that ever crossed my mind as a necessity.” Recent events had slowly amended that thought, but she had a machete and a few knives now. She still didn’t feel the need to wield such a lethal weapon. “I’ve shot BBs during Summer Camp as a kid, and most recently a Dart Gun to deal with a situation. But that’s the most involvement I’ve had with firearms at this point.” She takes a deep breath, and shakes her head. "Does that even matter? This place is so fucked up. I’m telling you, I know Tibby wouldn’t just do this. I don’t even know the kid, and I can tell you that. She has no reason to shoot Hollis, no motivation, no personal gain— If people could open their eyes for ten seconds, they might see just how weird this entire thing is, too.”

@midnightunderground-npcs​​

[benefits1986]

Carpenters PL Revisited x Mother Dragon's Hello, Love, Au Revoir

Bakit kasi nag-stick 'yung mga super basic phrases in French from grade school? Ayan tuloy. Ang aga-aga na naman.

Went to restock my pantry with healthier options because though I don't like to admit it, the virus is still in my system. I was legit tired even when I just filled a cart. Or is it the universe telling me to compartmentalize my work and life, before I indulge in workaholism dressed to the nines? I'm on the cusp, to be honest. It looks more than gold, it's like titanium encrusted with diamonds. Or is it time to put my work ultra-smart hat mode on so we'd have a character development? Sinabi ng I won't think about work in this WL e. Sinabi ng tigilan muna e kasi kahit anong work naman hindi mauubos, laging may kulang, laging may sobra. I don't know if it's just me, but I can still feel mother dragon's presence. Perhaps it's her version of Are You Afraid of the Dark: Magandang Gabi Bayan x KJMS. And this morning, I revisited her go-to PL which is The Carpenters. I used to abhor this group because they're not as popping as her other vibes --Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Madonna and The Beatles.

She loved Karen Carpenter and was devastated to know that she lost her anorexia battle. She watched me carefully during the time when bulimia and anorexia looked cool. She reassured me that being big-boned and plus size is NEVER a liability. My stretch marks are my tigress stripes. My ample hips, thighs and legs are part of my being and doing.

She taught me to embrace my flaws, like my dyslexia. She never believed that I am a slow reader. LOL. She felt that my poor grammar skills can be neutralized by writing and speaking. JUSQ. While I usually get a line of 9 in English, the truth is, I struggled so badly with every timed Phoenix comprehension worksheets. While I misread, mispronounce and misspell a lot, mom felt that I am but making an alibi. She branded me as careless and distracted easily. LOLOLOLLOLL. Mother dragon for three, always! She told me to that while I keep skipping lines when I read out loud, I can use my pointer finger to guide my handicap. Of course, she used verbatim that's too graphic, it's traumatic, because her Tagalog is tumatagos hindi lang sa buto pati sa kaibuturan aka verbal abuse minus the cursing; because she is a classy bitch looking after her kanal daughter.

Reading out loud was always an internal shit show until she instructed me to join declamation contests in English and Filipino. Later on, she egged me to give extemporaneous speeches and debates their precious chances. The struggle escalated because I can barely organize my thoughts, but she told me: It's not about winning. It's about how you play the game AND what you learn from it. She was RBF when I bring home a few medals during my years in school. You see, I am so poor in Math. I guess, the science and history subjects actually keep me up and giddy. However, mom said, that of course, science and history make sense because they're part of the obvious world. LOL. Hindi po talaga siya nagpapatalo. She's poor in math herself so, she can't teach me a lot. We can't afford a math tutor and my grades won't make it to remedial classes, as they're barely hanging.

In mother dragon speak, barely hanging grades meant anything that's lower than 89. May sarili siyang grading system sa utak niya. :D Though I had a few merit cards and was generally part of the Top 10, I was never an honor student. She didn't push for the top of the batch, but she has her own way of grading me. Because I am generally moody, whenever there's something off about my conduct and homeroom grades, mhie, mas lagot ako sa kanya. She has this belief that while grades matter, it's the decorum that goes with it that matters most. Hindi ko na alam saan ako lulugar because I noticed that most of the high achievers in my hood have a seeming social withdrawal and may come off as outlandish and worse, anti-social or socially awkward.

I remember asking her one time if I could try out for the swimming team because the coach is Eric Buhain. Also, I wanted a Speedo duffel bag, too! Iba 'yung feeling 'pag nasa diving board tapos nakakasabay ako in my thicc frame and lampa sa larangan ng sports. Also, I love the water. Iba 'yung effect niya sa akin. Nakakalma ako kahit overthinking pa rin ako. Most importantly, 'pag nasa swimming ako, wala akong ibang iniisip kung 'di 'yung hindi ako lumubog and makatawid sa other end ng pool. The Olympic size pool is like my ice skating rink. Though punggok ako, may advantage naman since bouyant ako saka generally, I can take a deep, deep breath and hold it kahit malimit akong may URTI growing up. The tanned and lean build is just sooooo appealing to me. I can imagine that my shoulders will be broader and my clavicles would pop. I can also shape my wide hips and thicccc thighs and legs. She told me to forget it even when I excel in swimming. She told me that I won't be getting a Speedo duffel bag, swimsuit and swimming cap because we can't afford the expenses that go with it. Ayaw daw niya akong maging kawawa and that while co-curricular activities are good, these don't fit my schedule especially when my brother is still recovering from meningitis. And knowing me daw, for sure, mapapabayaan ko 'yung school stuff because swimming makes me forget the world. Baka raw malihis pa ako ng landas. Syempre, I was beyond heartbroken when I heard this. Sabi ko, okay, wala ng Speedo. I can go with department store stuff (our suking Landmark or SM) and that I won't forget my duties as a forced dutiful ate to my brother. I even told her that I'd do better in math. HAHAHAHAHA. Lahat na po nilagay natin sa table pero, mother dragon put her claws down. She breathed fire to the pawn me. Ashes. Ashes everywhere. Super sama talaga ng loob ko sa kanya noon. She told me that since my skin usually gets fucked when I swim in a pool of chlorine, I might just end up more fucked. She didn't use the word "fucked" ha. That's me hearing what she meant lang talaga. HUHUHUHUHU. I honestly felt like I was treated unfairly even borderline inhumane. At a tender age, I felt like mother dragon wanted to force things in my system instead of allowing me to blossom through adversity. Aywaw. Naisip ko talaga 'yun because we always fight, fight, fight. Siya naman laging nagso-sorry kahit ako mali, as our Taurus-Cancer game is always up and running.

Para kaming may scoreboard kung sinong nananlo at natalo. She told me that she doesn't care about that scoreboard because para daw sa kapakanan ko 'yun. LUL. 'Yan na naman siya. Akala mo alam lahat. E siya nga, ending is housewife when she could have been a legit career woman on her way to the top of her game. :p Bawing-bawi ako 'pag ganito comeback ko sa kanya. Hahahahahaha. Syempre, she'd whack me back saying that: Kaya nga, ako ang nanay. Ako ang masusunod. Kung gusto mo, palit tayo. Ikaw na 'yung nanay, ako na 'yung anak. Me: OK. Fine. Bye. Bukas ulit. Or mamaya.

I think it took me ages to let go this angst go. Actually, iyak-tawa na naman ako writing this out. The Carpenters PL made me bleed e. So, okay. Go lang. Andito na rin e. Speaking of this PL, it hits different AND it hits home. Mas na-appreciate ko and... love ko na PL na 'to. Currently hunting down a good vinyl for this nga, preferably 'yung vintage. I noticed that the quality of the new vinyls are MEH and BLECH. Kakabadtrip though the aesthetics are better. Hindi pixelated or malabo lang talaga kuha. Bangkal, Makati Cinema Square, or Cubao X na siguro ito 'pag mas oks na pakiramdam ko. Sana bukas na 'yun please. UGH.

While I can definitely score a good item in Amazon or Ebay, iba pa rin 'pag nahahawakan mo, naamoy, nilalagay mo sa player. Iba pa rin 'pag pumipili ka sa vintage piles. May kakaibang euphoria siya as a mababaw person. Today is the day to remember the dead. I find this absurd to be honest. Why so? Because we don't really need to have this day of commemoration, to be honest. We always remember. Sometimes, we choose to forget. Most of the time, we the dead people become so alive in micro-moments and even zero moments of truth. Today, I'm thinking of lighting my Nasugbu candle for mom. I never believe in traditions, but let this be a curious day. Let this be day of remembering her life and her lessons as I make sense of my limited time across this universe, this lifetime. And yes, I'll play her PLs throughout the day. Maiba naman. Try natin if I won't spiral or be triggered. May this day be a day filled with glimmers as her au revoir non-horror keeps coming. Humanda siya. Mature na ako. LOL. Ready na ako to face my demons and hers, too. LUH. Labas ko na ulit 'yung dusty and rusty scoreboard namin.