#useless lesbian vampire

[hyperfanpod]

Hyperfixation kicks of Vampire Month with Carmilla by J. Sheridan La Fanu, the first lesbian vampire and a book that predates Dracula. Why are vampires and horror always queer? And why won't Marika shut up about the web series?  https://briikasakpodcast.buzzsprout.com/1371367/14569111

[fictiongods]

Bellyache by Billie Eilish is so Faith Lehane core. Like she would absolutely hate the song and say it’s too “girly” but if you actually listen to the lyrics and ignore the, like, background music noise (as you can tell I in fact know NOTHING about music shh don’t tell) the lyrics are actually Faith. And actually don’t ignore said music background noise cause that’s Faith too. Like the pretty notes make you ignore the tragedy of the lyrics, and the cool beat distracts you from it.

[sapphic-flesh]

Idea developing, make the werewolf audio a werewolf fucking a vampire.

I do love enemies to lovers. Ha!

[carmillababyy]

carmilla: you are mine, you shall be mine, you and i are one forever *dramatically sobbing*

laura: do i remind you of a cousin, perhaps??

laura you dumb fucking lesbian she’s in love with you jfc

[alpaca-clouds]

New Fic: Bound By Blood [Araj/Aurelia Slowburn]

Alright, let's go with this as a header for now, until I have the money to commission @g-vlssz with some shipping art for them.

Here it is. My ship with the other absolute crackship I have for BG3. Araj/Aurelia. Why do I ship them? Because I think they look hot together. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And I thought they would make for a fun ship to try out writing some Enemies to Lovers Slowburn. Something I usually do not do.

So, yeah. Enjoy this story about two useless sapphic women.

Bound by Blood

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Shipping: Araj/Aurelia Genre: Enemies to Lovers Slowburn

It is finally Araj's time. She has finished her research, and she is ready to return to Menzoberranzan, and restore the House of Oblodra. Yet, soon after she enters the Underdark, she hears rumors about a large group of vampire spawn having settled there. In a moment of weakness, she cannot help her curiosity. This one time, before she will either become a matriarch or a matyr for her house, she is allowed to endulge in her fantasy. However, nothing could have prepared her for what she will find.

[xylo]

if all goes well i'll be moving 27 hours away from my childhood home to louisiana in five months time.......... oh the thrills of being a phd student!

[pussyslayer69]

Oh, how i wish to adore you.

This is an original story made by me. Lmk what you think!

Attempt 1 (while listening to Taylor Swift. ‘Bejeweled’)

Eliza was lying down on the large, comfortable couch when she received the message. It was late at night. Eliza was almost falling asleep until she heard her phone ping.

It was her boss.

Subject: Exciting Opportunity: International Assignment

“Dear, Elizabeth.

I hope you're doing well. We have an exciting opportunity for you: a key role in Romania. We believe your skills and expertise make you the perfect fit for this assignment.

This move offers valuable career growth and the chance to contribute to our global success. We're committed to supporting you throughout the process, from visas to relocation logistics.

Let's discuss further at your convenience. Feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns.

Looking forward to hearing from you.”

The mail read. Eliza stared at with for a while, a look of confusion covering her features. Romania? She lived in New York City! Eliza let out a loud groan as she realized what was going to happen. She had nothing left to lose, anyway. Elizabeth stood up from the couch and made her way to the fridge in her apartment… Well, studio.

She felt weird. It was like she was having an out of body experience. Nothing felt real anymore. She stared at the insides of the cold refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. She could feel the cold and wet condensation on the outside of the plastic bottle. The lights were dimmed in her kitchen, making her studio have a cozy atmosphere.

It wasn’t like she did anything do decorate, though. The bare minimum was enough for Eliza. She thought long and hard about the mail, occasionally taking tiny sips of the cold water.

“Fuck…” Eliza muttered under her breath. She was sat on the kitchen counter, and she wasn’t happy about the decision her boss made. She refused to put in her two weeks’ notice, though. Maybe moving to Romania could be a good thing?

Elizabeth quickly shook that thought from her head, deciding it wasn’t worth getting a headache about. She would contact her boss in the morning for more details… But, for now? She was going to sleep.

She walked out the kitchen and flopped down on her comfy bed, falling asleep to the sounds of the city.

Attempt 2 (Hozier. ‘Nina Cried Power’)

Elizabeth woke up due to the sounds of the blaring alarm on her phone. In her sleepy state, she considered throwing the damn thing against the wall. But the rational part of her brain prevented her from doing that. Instead, she dragged her hand out from under the covers and pressed on the ‘snooze’ button. She didn’t have any important things to do, anyway.

Five minutes later, her alarm started going off again. She groaned and pressed the ‘Stop’ button. Shutting the annoying alarm off for good. She grabbed her phone and immediately got blinded by the bright screen. Elizabeth felt like her body took a screenshot. But, alas. Her eyes were fine when she checked her phone again.

It was 09:00. A normal time for Elizabeth to wake up. She worked from home, after all. She liked to start her morning with some self-hating, mad at the universe for letting her live. Oh, why did her heart decide to beat? Hell, she wouldn’t even care if she died right there in her bed.

…

Anyways, she got up and went over to the bathroom. Again, the lights blinded her. Elizabeth didn’t let that stop her and started brushing her teeth. She felt the cold tiles under her toes. It was comforting in a weird way. Eliza looked at herself through the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Damn, her hair was a mess. And where did the stain on her shirt come from? Whatever. She had to shower anyway.

After her shower, she dried off her hair with a towel. Eliza’s hair felt smooth after her shower… And it smelled good. Like cherry blossoms. Eliza put on her clothes. A simple shirt with jeans. The converse she was planning to wear were stored in the foyer. First, she needed food. Eliza hung up her towel and started making her way to the kitchen. She could hear her upstairs neighbor getting ready. She knew they had a cat. Cute kitty.

She saw a box of donuts on the kitchen counter… Would she? Yes, she would. Eliza took one donut out the box and took a large bite. That really satisfied her cravings. The sweet taste of raspberry syrup filled her with joy. She realized it was time she ran some errands since the only edible things in her house were donuts, water, and two week old takeout.

Eliza finished the donut with a sigh and washed her hands to get rid of the powdery goodness. She made her way to the foyer, careful not to step in mystery fluids that were scattered across the floor. The studio was enough for her. For now, at least. She would be moving to Romania soon. Anxiety filled her head with less-than-positive thoughts as she put her fucking shoes on. She grabbed her jacket and wallet before stepping out of her home.

NYC was a bit chilly. No problem. She was used to it. Like any New Yorker, she kept her head down and walked quickly. Eliza was planning on buying some groceries… Maybe some wine, too. She needed it. It depended on the price since everything was so fucking expensive.

The wind blew through her hair, messing it up again. Eliza sighed. She could already feel a headache coming up. Why was being an adult so hard? She just wanted to eat waffles and stay home all day. She quickly made her way to the grocery store and grabbed a basket, checking out the produce aisle. Fruits and vegetables filled her basket. Being 6’2 meant she could easily look over people and spot the carbs. She quickly grabbed some pasta and bread before checking out the snacks. Chips and cookies caught her attention. Eliza decided to indulge. She bought the produce, snacks, and wine. At least the cashier was nice. She couldn’t wait to chug the wine.

Attempt 3 (No songs this time.)

Back at home, she read the mail from her boss again and again. A feeling of anxiety and excitement filled her body. Yeah, this would be a good thing. Romania didn’t seem that bad. Maybe she could visit some castles when she was there… At least, that was what Google told her to do. Eliza closed her laptop and decided to make some tea for herself. She didn’t feel like drinking the wine anymore. Plus, all her friends were busy and drinking alone wasn’t that fun. Green tea always hit the spot. She set some water out to boil and waited, flopping down on the sofa. She grabbed her phone and opened Tinder, looking for some interesting people.

“The fuck? This bitch is married… Yikes.” She mumbled, swiping left. She wasn’t looking for any threesomes or flings. Not that she was looking for anything serious, but she wouldn’t go for married women.

“Dude? Seriously?” She asked herself with an eyeroll as she saw a man. Eliza specifically set her preferences to women after a few less-than-pleasant experiences. She sighed and closed the app again. No one interesting today… Or tomorrow, probably. Maybe it would be better if she deleted the fucking app.

DING!

She heard the ding of the water. It was finally boiling. She got up, grabbed the mug, tea, and water. Perfect tea. Eliza took a sip, forgetting that the water was still super-hot. She swallowed the tea with a pained expression, burning her tongue in the process. This is when she decided that iced tea was better. She looked out onto the city, questioning her existence. Who doesn’t have an existential crisis once in a while? It was all part of getting older. Eliza did think she looked pretty cool, though. With a mug in her hand. Like some supervillain coming up with a masterplan for world domination.

Bzz-bzz.

Her phone buzzed. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw the notification. It was her boss again, informing her of the opportunity. Some boring details. All she knew was that she had to be at the airport. Tommorow evening. What the fuck? Eliza groaned. She knew this meant she had to start packing everything up, which she did not look forward to. While she didn’t have a lot of stuff, she still knew this would take at least 2 hours. She would have to call a moving company tomorrow. Why did her boss send this email THIS late? Whatever. She made good money. That’s all that mattered. An IT job did pay pretty well. She finished the tea and began packing..

Attempt 4

The packing took way longer than expected. She finished at 1AM. Eliza didn’t even know she had THIS much stuff. She already brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. Well, this was her last night in New York. It was a weird feeling. Maybe she was a little sentimental. She had so many good memories here… It felt weird to just let that go. But, she decided to look on the bright side. Romania would also give her good memories. She just had to stay positive.

As she rolled around in the silk sheets, she realized finding sleep was near impossible. Her thoughts were too loud. The sounds of the city brought her no comfort this time. Eliza realized she would miss this… A little. Maybe she didn’t want to say goodbye. She sat up in bed, looking outside. The city that never sleeps. It was true. The city was still bustling with life. Hell, she probably knew some of the people who she could see walking down the busy streets. The skyscrapers, the view, the food. She would miss it. Especially the street food. Fuck, the burritos were good. Did they even have those in Romania? Did they have tacos? What if they didn’t even have good wine?

Maybe that was a little far-fetched. It was Europe, after all. Of course, there was going to be nice drinks. Possibly even better than the ones she drank now. The good thoughts brought her comfort this time. She laid down in bed again, now looking forward to the new life she was going to have. She would definitely adopt a cat there. And live in a house. Alone. With no noisy neighbors to disturb her

Maybe this wasn’t going to be that bad…

(Hi! This is my first ever post on Tumblr and my first ever story. I'm really happy to share this with the world. More chapters are coming soon!)

[livefromcastledracula]

Things I have learned from Dracula and Carmilla:

Vampires are super melodramatic. I thought Dracula with his "blood of Attila" speech was a ham, but then along comes little miss "rapture of my enormous humiliation"...mademoiselle "I live in you and you would die for me I love you so" fraulein "girls are like caterpillars" Mircalla what the flaming fuck are you on about just boink her already you useless lesbian.

[enriquemzn262]

It’s turboweeb shit time, so be advised.

Anyway, with the new anime season finally settled, let me share with you what I’m watching, or what I at least tried, so in case any of this is of your interest, you may check out:

Mayonaka Punch

A v-blogger has a falling out with her old friends, leaves her channel and accidentally gets involved with lesbian vampires, who now join her in her quest to reach one million subscribers in order to take revenge on her former partners, with the promise that once she does, she will let the main horny lesbian vampire suck her dry (of blood).

Great animation, weirdly deep character developments, an underlying plot of anxiety and denial, and even an exploration of what happens when an immortal vampire gets too close to the spotlight, all the while keeping an overall comedic energy.

8/10, its an original anime so the story will probably warp up by the time the season ends, hopefully they don’t fuck up the landing.

Dead Dead Demon's Dededede Destruction

Aka DDDD

What I originally wrote off because I’m sick and tired of high school anime, it turned out to be quite the fascinating show about life after an alien invasion, with tons of Roadside Picnic vibes, a great cast of screwball characters who are actually as relatable as they are realistic, and for once its a show set in high school that doesn’t give a single shit about glorifying that era of education, you will not see any mention of any school council, festival or any of that tired nonsense.

Plus, there’s always an inherent darkness brewing around the story, with episodes 0 basically setting up how everything will go to shit at some point, and the story slowly moving towards that endgame, it’s great!

Oh, and if you’re a fan of Doraemon, you’ll be pleasantly surprised too.

10/10, I’m absolutely glued!

No Longer Allowed in Another World

In an era where there’s 10 million isekais about the most boring male main characters who go into your standard fantasy world to get harems and be overpowered, here we have a story in which the MC actually wanted to die (by double suicide with his lover), and accidentally got summoned into said standard world, only to say fuck it, I want to die, you fuckers deal with this shit on your own.

No overpowers, no useless harems, no boring MCs, it’s so far a hilarious story about the one guy completely incapable of playing along with the world, and how said world, which keeps getting standard boring guys who do fuckall and just end up indulging in their newfound powers, deals with him, including the love interest, which the guy barely acknowledges, and the standard cute cat girl that’s now the jobber of the group.

7/10, could have tried to make a more unique world, oh well.

Shikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan

Not gonna lie, I too fell for the earworm of a theme song that dominated memes for a good month before release, and while it does have its moments, it hasn’t really lived up to the potential of it’s wacky premise, mainly because it tries too hard to go for the “cute girls doing cute things” angle, instead of completely embracing the batshit insanity that pops up in every episode.

I’ll still watch it, if anything, I want to see what else they come up with in between the boring school life shit.

6/10, needs more nuclear deer antlers.

Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian

There’s a good number of romcoms this season, and while all are set in high schools, since DDDD showed me there was a chance I could watch a show set in one and not deal with the usual bullshit, I gave it a watch.

It deals with the usual bullshit of school councils, school festivals, clubs and the like.

Honestly, the russian part is what made it somewhat interesting, but that hasn’t led nowhere, so now I have a female love interest that’s nothing more than your standard tsundere, and your standard male lead who at least doesn’t lack a backbone, but that overall remains boring.

5/10, the weird sister is the only interesting thing, but in a car crash sort of way, may end up dropping it if they actually try to be serious with her.

Too Many Losing Heroines

It’s garbage, had an interesting setting of following girls who are basically third wheels in their own love stories, and it could have worked, have they not chosen to tell the story from the point of view of the most boring, spineless, stuttering betamale in existence, the usual curse of the romcom, somehow turned up to 11.

It’s a pity really, overall the animation is really good, and while it gets too horny for its own good many times, it’s still cute to see those girls dealing with their unanswered feelings, a pity we can’t just follow them and instead have to stick with mister whatshisface.

3/10, dropped it after not being able to finish the latest episode (4? 5? I can’t be arsed to check), seriously, just write off the dude and the show will at least be 6/10.

I tried a couple more shows, and iseaki I didn’t know was one that I dropped after the first episode (oh no, I’m actually trapped in a VR game!!1exclamation point), and another about a drunk V-tuber who reinvents herself around alcoholism (good premise, extremely boring execution).

Not gonna lie, I only really like the first two, the other two may drop the ball really soon, and I’m another school council episode away from dropping the russian girl one, so overall it’s been a pretty underwhelming season.

Do watch DDDD though, that one truly is the absolute gem of this season!

[hyperfanpod]

Vampire month continues with Marika making the gang talk about the first season of Carmilla the web series, the 2014 Canadian adaption of the novella of the same name. It was a very specific, very tumblr moment on the internet for Marika. Cal and Bret find it... fine. Cal makes comparisons to Baldur's Gate and Bret has seen as a lot of SyFy original programming.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1371367/14604825-carmilla-the-web-series

[sapphicagenda]

I would crowdfund this for sure

They should revive the Carmilla webseries. Original cast, new stories.

Pass it on.

[sqsupernova]

Title: how a pair of fangs rendered the mighty savior useless - [ART] Link: Click Here To View and Comment Artist: starchasm Find them on: -Twitter: starchasm -Tumblr: starchasm

.

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Title: How a pair of fangs rendered the mighty savior useless (or how Emma Swan lost her dignity but got the girl) Link: Click Here To View and Comment Author: thelastandonlyunicorn Find them on: -Twitter: 1TLAOU -Tumblr: thelastandonlyunicorn Rating: Explicit Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 21k Summary: “You look great as well, Regina. What are you dressed up as?” Mary Margaret asks the mayor who doesn’t look much different from usual – dark dress hugging her figure, reaching her mid-thigh, black high heels complimenting her toned legs. When Emma looks up again Regina’s eyes are still on her, smile widening. Red lips part to reveal a row of white pearly teeth, canines longer and sharper than usual. Regina must have magically enhanced them. Emma feels so hot all of a sudden. “Oh!” Mary Margaret exclaims, turning around. “Emma is some kind of vampire too, aren’t you, honey?” “Vampire Slayer,” Emma corrects, trying not to stare at Regina’s new accessories. It’s hard. This is reawakening some long-forgotten teenage lesbian fantasies in her. “But I had to leave my stake at home. Kids and pointy objects, you know?" “How considerate of you,” Regina smirks, before turning on her heel and leading them inside. or It’s Halloween and Emma’s senses all leave her when she discovers Regina’s new set of fangs for the night. While Emma is desperately trying to hide her attraction to the other woman, Regina shamelessly makes use of it to get what she wants – Emma.

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Remember - writers and artists spent months creating the fics and art you enjoy, so it would mean the world to them if you commented to tell them what you liked! A creator who feels appreciated is a creator who is more likely to write or create art again in the future!

[bestwenclairfics]

Everyone Comes to Yoko’s - Chapter 1 - Sincerely_Sierra - Wednesday (TV 2022) [Archive of Our Own]

This useless lesbian needs Yoko a lot.

---

After a minute of hesitation, Wednesday elects to nod in agreement.

“I’m ambivalent to you, Yoko, but I suppose I appreciate this,” she says, not looking directly at the vampire. “But I’m not going to thank you. Not yet.”

“Good to know there’s still a chance,” replies Yoko. “I’ll be back, and you’ll be packing up in no time. I’ve mended far worse for far little at stake. This is like Christmas to me.”

“Happy holidays to you, then.” Wednesday pauses. “Or however the saying goes. I don’t find holidays happy.”

Yoko gives her two thumbs up and starts inching out the door. “When I get back, you’ll practically be Enid’s wifey.”

[thelastandonlyunicorn]

How a pair of fangs rendered the mighty savior useless (or how Emma Swan lost her dignity but got the girl)

~ a Halloween fic ~

“You look great as well, Regina. What are you dressed up as?” Mary Margaret asks the mayor who doesn’t look much different from usual – dark dress hugging her figure, reaching her mid-thigh, black high heels complimenting her toned legs.

When Emma looks up again Regina’s eyes are still on her, smile widening. Red lips part to reveal a row of white pearly teeth, canines longer and sharper than usual. Regina must have magically enhanced them.

Emma feels so hot all of a sudden.

“Oh!” Mary Margaret exclaims, turning around. “Emma is some kind of vampire too, aren’t you, honey?”

“Vampire Slayer,” Emma corrects, trying not to stare at Regina’s new accessories. It’s hard. This is reawakening some long-forgotten teenage lesbian fantasies in her. “But I had to leave my stake at home. Kids and pointy objects, you know?"

“How considerate of you,” Regina smirks, before turning on her heel and leading them inside.

or

It’s Halloween and Emma’s senses all leave her when she discovers Regina’s new set of fangs for the night. While Emma is desperately trying to hide her attraction to the other woman, Regina shamelessly makes use of it to get what she wants – Emma.

Read it here on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58524472/chapters/149095855

[moonmoonthecrabking]

Would you happen to have any good fic recs (can be wip or completed, or some of your own) :D

hi anon!! it really depends on what you're into, though i've been posting more about hatchetfield i'll give you recs for that!! i'm going to sort this by ships, because it works in my mind so!! hope this helps!! not all the fics i like, but here are really truly just some!! especially since i couldn't find some i really liked unfortunately but, such is life. i generally like monstery themes and supernatural elements, so that's going to be a common theme in these recs, but not all of them.

jagertitty (grace x max) shameless self promotion - siren/werewolf au, incomplete, longfic @owlhari - ghost!grace and max meeting for the first time, she saves him from dying in the waylon prank, oneshot prince_doomed - another version of grace's dream of ghost!max?? the description on ao3 does it better, but either way it's very beautifully written, oneshot

lautity (grace x steph) shameless self promotion - tgwdlm au, i had fun, and it was nice to make grace instantly okay with being queer for fucking once, oneshot @vesperione (sorry for the late tag, i came across this scrolling through queer hf and realised i never fixed the post!!) - the fic is called good luck babe, what it says on the tin, gracie is repressed, oneshot @theiloveyousong - first meeting when steph and grace were little kids and adorable and you should read it, oneshot

lautski (steph x pete) @the-spaced-out-ace - pete is a mermaid, and Fun (emotional torture) is to be had, in progress but seemingly coming to a conclusion :) @max-will-one-day-be-okay - vampire steph vampire steph VAMPIRE STEPH- (in progress)

lautskity (grace x steph x pete) @max-will-one-day-be-okay - grace has a sexual fantasy about steph and pete, oneshot, :) @jklovesfandoms - generally great works for this ship, i say start with comfort her (in progress) and go from there :)

paulkins (paul x emma) slytherlynn - this fic is abandoned in the middle of very plotty stuff (so be warned it is incomplete and i doubt it will ever be complete), but it has infected!paul and i remember reading it on the train into high school YEARS ago, and i really like all the character dynamics @hotchocolateboy - very alice woodward centric, slice of life sort of stuff (my girl is going THROUGH it) but i just!! really like it!! in progress @affo-gatto-gateau - mermaid!paul fic, in progress, it's fun i'm enjoying it!! there is lore being set up and i am HERE for it

the npmd jocks (kyle x max, as well as brenda x stacy) @nibblelinephym - stacy and brenda are oblivious lesbians who are in love with each other, oneshot @tnoy-keraxis - a night (so yeah oneshot) where many people are in love and we get a peek into their lives, framed by max and kyle being useless and oblivious and tragic (they aren't useless, it's internalised homophobia)

duke x ted @amethystunarmed - duke is helping ted get custody for pete. duke is going through it. oneshot (part of a series)

i can safely recommend all of these fics, and other fics by these authors (even if they aren't listed here). happy reading!!! and ofc feel free to add recs in the reblogs!!!

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

put her canine teeth in the side of my neck

by gaspshichat

Caitlyn and Vi have been friends for a while, but Vi wants eternity with her.

~~~

title from "red wine supernova" by chappell roan

Words: 2036, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends), Other(s)

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: Caitlyn and Vi are in Love (League of Legends), Lesbian Vi (League of Legends), POV Vi (League of Legends), Lesbian Caitlyn (League of Legends), Useless Lesbians, Canon Lesbian Character, Lesbian Character, No Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Smoking, Flirting, Vampires, Lesbian Vampires, Vampire Bites, Vampire Turning, Character Turned Into Vampire, turning someone into a vampire in a homoerotic way, no beta i stepped out into the sun and died immediately

Read on A03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’