#ur gonna get ur ass beat back to death buddy

[rubiesintherough]

(( @iburnedyourletters sent ---  ❛ i swear to god if you don’t get in bed and stay in bed i’ll pull out the handcuffs and make you stay there . ❜ (Dustin) ))

Yeah, he could hardly stand upright, felt like death  ( speaking from experience, he thought )   and even the process of getting a drink of water was way more of an ordeal than it should’ve been, and maybe he’d coughed hard enough he’d nearly passed out... but, all of that together couldn’t keep the grin from spreading over Dustin’s face, even as his hand shot up to cover his mouth, shoulders convulsing in another cough.    “ Oooh, “   his voice was a croak. A painful, hoarse croak, and STILL he laughed,   “ k i n k y.  ----- That a p-promise, Kai? “  

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said ��we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[iximaz]

Running thoughts on The Mandalorian Episode 8

This episode summed up in one word: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???!!!

I’m only gonna say it once: MASSIVE spoilers beyond the break!

THEY PUT BABY YODA IN THE BAG ASDFGHJKL; YOU MONSTERS aw cute point of view shot from inside the bag but also HOW DARE YOU

DID YOU JUST SERIOUSLY HIT MY BABY 

did you seriously do it TWICE

Okay these two troopers have big Taika energy and as much as I already hate them I’m laughing my ass off

These two trying some target practice to pass the time can’t shoot for shit and I’m living for it

That other trooper be like

Okay it’s not just me who heard that trooper say “Oh my god”, right??

You go Baby Yoda, you bite that mean trooper WHO JUST FUCKING PUNCHED YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM I HOPE THEY DIE

oh my god IG you better show them what’s what

Breaking that fucker’s arm after he hit Baby Yoda yesssssss

IG is an icon and i love him

“The Mandalorians have a covert down in the sewers” oh that’s neat so that’s where it was

“If we can get down there, they can help us escape” uhhh Dyn how long has it been since they said they’d have to relocate buddy

Oh the troopers are getting out a big gun thing this is fine they’ll just miss with it anyway

...What the hell kind of sewer has access inside a bar lounge?

can we just get more footage of cara with her big gun being sexy and stuff please

SHE’S FROM ALDERAAN HOLY SHIT WHAT

HE KNOWS THEIR NAMES OH SHIT

!!!!! SPELLING CONFIRMED IT’S DIN DJARIN MY MAN I NEED TO GO EDIT MY FANFIC NOW BUT AAAAAAAA

“Night of a Thousand Tears” is this just me or does this just sorta feel like Kristallnacht like seriously yikes and also oof

Ughhhhh I hate Moff Gideon so good job writers on that I absolutely loathe your villain well done

“Mandalorian isn’t a race.” “It’s a Creed.” FUCKIN YES THANK YOU THIS IS SOMETHING FANS WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT

baby din is so precious and i wanna feed him cookies and tell him it’s gonna be okay send help please

ARE THOSE DEATH WATCH MANDOS OH MY GODDDDDDD

Baby Din being carried away via jetpack my heart

Oh man so the Purge would have happened semi-recently which means Din’s clan are a more orthodox version of the Way that’s neat aw shit Imma have to tweak my fic again aren’t I

Baby Yoda and IG-11 on the bike together are just stunning

“I am fulfilling my base function. ... To nurse and protect.” YOU GO NURSE DROID IG

Greef downing shots thinking he’s gonna die is honestly such a mood

hnggg yess more of Cara being sexy AF

MOFF JUST BLEW UP MY HUSBAND HOW DARE YOU

Cara yes RESCUE HIM PLEASE

“If you go near this child, I will have no choice but to kill you.” ME TOO

Oh shit oh shit that’s chunky blood

Not good not good not good

Din baby please you can’t die this is your show

oh god is he gonna need to take the helmet off

oh no he’d rather die than take it off

he wants cara to protect his baby send help

“the foundling” BABY YODA IS CONFIRMED HIS SON NOW AAA

BABY YODA REDIRECTING THE FIREBALL YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Din asking IG to kill him nooo ;-;

The episode’s only half over and I still haven’t seen some of the trailer shots how’re they getting out of this

oh

oh m

my god

“No living thing has s-seen me without m-my helmet since I s-swore the C-Creed—” Din stoppit stop stuttering and dying you’re breaking my heart

Oh no is this gonna make him stop hating droids so much is this a loophole is this not can he not be Mandalorian is he g

oh my g

Din baby look at what they’ve done to you

(internally: oh my god he’s hot this is not fair imma die send help my ovaries am become explode)

HE’S SO EXPRESSIVE WITHOUT THE HELMET

his reaction to IG’s attempt to make a joke like my god aaaaaaa

I’m just gonna go cry seeing all the helmets and armor piled up here if we’re gonna continue the Jews parallel this is like all the shoes you see at Holocaust museums and I bet this was 100% intentional

Din just slowly falling to his knees seeing it :(

Oh thank fuck the Armorer is actually alive and the preview scene wasn’t from a flashback!

She knows about the Jedi~~~

Din: “So you mean this thing is my baby now?” Armorer: “Bitch haven’t you been watching the entire show”

For real this brings my heart so much fucking joy I can’t even

“You are a clan of two.” ASDFGHJKL; AAAA

HE GOT THE MUDHORN AS HIS SIGNET AFTER ALL

“Have you trained in the Rising Phoenix?” JETPACK?

“When I was a boy, yes.”

JETPACK!!!!!!

BABY DIN LEARNING HOW TO USE A JETPACK ART NOW PLEASE AAA

Also okay so like he says nobody’s said his name since he was a kid but apparently the entire clan knows it? What? Did I miss something? Guys?

Maybe he’s never heard the name from people outside the clan? Fuck it, that’s what Imma go with

Oh my god the Armorer beating the absolute hell out of those Stormtroopers I am so gay for her right now aaaaa

Cara watching Greef and Din trying to move the boat and then she just shoots the dock it’s on XD

aww the little R2 unit’s got little arms WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING IT’S GOT LEGS TOO??

Din: “I don’t suppose anybody here speaks droid?” IG-11: “bish u wot m8″

God the convection from this lava river’s gotta be brutal

omg fire ferrets good bois good bbs

...Literally everything about IG’s death and Din starting to overcome his hatred of droids just in time to watch his savior self-destruct to save them all hurts so hard, jesus christ

oh shit it’s the Moff in a TIE

“Come on, baby! Do the magic hand thing!” Greef you absolute icon i love u

Baby Yoda just fuckin waving back at him and cooing im ded

oh shit it’s motherfuckin JETPACK TIME

wait how’s he wearing it over the cape won’t the cape burn up

Nvm he’s got the cape slung over one shoulder now

HE FLYIN HE FLYIN HE FLYIN

aAaAaAaAaAaAaA THAT CAN’T BE GOOD FOR HIS ARMS

hahaha Moff get fuckin REKT (no way he’s dead though people climb out of worse crashes than that all the time)

Okay Din using the jetpack is way sexier than it should be can he just take me now please i thirst

Cara becoming Greef’s enforcer is just perfect and I hope we see more of these two in the next season also sweet Din is gonna find his life a lot easier now that he’s not running from the Guild

BABY YODA WANTS TO BE PICKED UP BY HIS DADDY MY HEART AAAA IT’S JUST LIKE WHEN DIN WAS SAVED AS A KID

He made Kuiil a grave im not crying ur crying

is he gonna name the baby Kuill

Baby Yoda has the pendant he gave Cara!!

HE GETS TO KEEP THE PENDANT DIN HAS ACCEPTED HE’S GOT A SON AAA

And now we pan back to the wreck where Moff is climbing out of it

or not

fuckin Jawas, man

Now Moff?

wait

oh

my

g

w

o

OH

MY GOD

IT’S

IT’S THE DARKSABER!!!!!!!!

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

happy girthday

Summary: when chuuyas villainous twin brother cyuya murders his weed dealer ranpo, chuoya attacc, but he also protecc

Notes: crackfic won the poll so i figure what better way to celebrate fanfic writer appreciation day or whatever its called than with some good ol fashioned meme fuckery and bagel ass eating, have fun kids

*****************************************************************************************************

“romeo no homeo, wherefore art that tight little ass romeo?” chuuya grunted hornily as he jacked himself off over a balcoeny. he’d gotten drunk off his ass watching the 2004 phantom of the opera movie adaptation with jerard butler in it again which always put him in teh mood 4 dicks n secks. unfortunely for chungus nobody loved him enuff to squeeze his sweet summer sausage. chyuuya began 2 cri.

“o woe is me” he sobbed, sadly storking his half-limp shrimp dick “i wish I had a romeo of my very own 2 take big hits off my beef bong and/or fuck me senseless on top of a shandeleer”

ranpo appeered out of NOWHERE with 3 bongs up his ass and 2 to seven blunts crammed in each arousedly quvering nostril. “did sOMEBODY say WEED????”

“i sed bong” chuuya repleyed angrily crossing his arms and also his dick

ranpo poked chuuyas dick with his extendable flexible sexily bendable scrotal snake. “IS THAT A WEED” he shrieked as his noot-noot started doin the shoot-shoot.

kermet the frog burst thru the door like the cool aids man and shanked rabpo to deth with a giant ass green crayawn that was actuelly his frock (frog cock). “ITS NOT WEED U PEACE OF SHIT STONER” he scremed as he beat the shit out of ranpo

ranpo dragged  his bloody pulp of manggled flesh toweard chuuya useing his weener like a grappleing hook. “o daddy” he whimpered tragically. he coughed up blood, nut, and ten to pounds of the devils lettceplay. “i am the ded” he died.

while chooya was crieying/nutting over the smushed up corpse of the artest formerly known as ranppo, kermot creped toerd the bodey and snagged up the weed with his long veiny tongue.

“YOU IGNORANT FOOLS” he cried swelling to his magestic height of 5’3” as his boner swelled to ITS majestic height of 6’8”. his frog skin slid away to revel a green tracksoot with wite stripes and he tore off a rubber mask so his radient orange hair could flow freely except it couldnt cuz it wass matted with nut and also the blood of his enemies. there was no noddle. “ITS FITNESS TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!”

chuuya GASPEd. “cYUYU HAKOSHO??!??” he exclammed. he remmaried the clam and then exclaimed “HOW UNFORESKINNABLE”

“thats rite slut!” said cyuya smugly as he shoved each tender leaf of mariagge iguana up his tite little ass. “trembol in fear, for u and ur loose buttholed compainon rampo never stood a chance! its time for u to fitness gram pacer test-“ he wipped out a glock and also his erecktion “-DEATH” cyuya stuck his sexin’ noodle into the trigger and flexed it to shoot chuuya in the hed

“YALLDVE GONNA GET REKT PARDNER” yelled chuoya angerly as he leapt in front of chuuya and proteccted him  from cyuyas rath. the bullet rebounded off chuoyas rock hard erection and hit cyuya in the dick hole. cyuya collapsed in a heap of corpse.

chuoya cradled chuuyas head in his bara tiddys. “yehaw buddy youve been thru a rough ridin’ rooty tootin’ ready for shootin’ kinda day aint ya pal?”

chuuya sniffled and wiped his nose nut onto chuoyas hair noddle as he fondled the tiny sheriff badges chuoya wore over each perky nipple. “i most certainly have good comrade” he whimpered sexily. “pls, wipe of my tears with ur cowboy crotch cable”

“ill do ya one better m’pardner” chuoya replied tipping his hat and winking with all three eyes, “ill make ya brekfast”

“just dont make it tWO fast if u now wat i mean” sed chuuya seductively as he spred his noddle limbs wide for his cowboy compainon. one of his legs brushed over ranpos ded bodey so he moved it back. “take ur tim daddy”

chuuya was dissapointed when it turned out chuoya actuaely ment that he was making brekfast. “o” he sighed disapointedly “so when u sed u’d make brekfast, u ttoaley ment it”

chuoya took 8 bagels out of the toster. “wat else could i possibley hav ment? now shov these up ur ass”

“now ur talkin dady!” chuuya shrieked exceitely as he opened up his buttholeio with glee

chuoya slowly and tenederly insulted the bagles into chuuyas ass. “get in there u punk bitch motherfuckERES” he roared “ur bagel mothers never loved u! that outfit makes ur bagle ass look too flat for a rap song!” the bagels sobbily lept into chuuyas anus

“i am packed to the brim with bagely goodness” chuuya whimpered satisfiedly “now pack me with ur schleen queen 2017!”

chuoya tenderly inserted his titanic tallywacker into chuuyas fresh young asshole so preceisly and smartly that it went thr the holes in the bagels and pulled them all out at once like a shishkabob. “happy girthday bitch” he whispered sexily into chuuyas poop chute.

chuuya nutted 17 times at once! chuuya and chuoya ate bagels rosted on a fire they made out of cyuya and rnapos corpses and they all fucked happily ever after the end

[the100obsessions]

Rewatching The 100 stream of consciousness: S1 Ep1

WELLS! MY BEAUTIFUL SON WHO DESERVED BETTER, HELLO I MISSED U

yep Finn is still a cocky asshole go away pls

MY GOGGLED SON IS STILL ALIVE AND HAPPY OUCH I’M NOT CRYING

lmao dang that kid’s dead, should have stayed in ur seat like Clarke told u to

hello Bradbury Blake pls relax

BELLAMY & OCTAVIA REUNION #1 AWE THE GOOD OLD DAYS BEFORE SHE BEAT HIM UP :’)

fun fact the first time I watched this I didn’t know the story line & I thought Bellamy and Octavia were fuckin back on the ark lmao

WE’RE BACK BITCHES HELL YEEE

Finn stop calling her Princess go away

MURPHY MY TRASH SON ur being a little too trashy rn I’ll come back to you in a few seasons once you become lovable trash

lmao Finn’s dramatic ass just backflipped off the drop ship go aWAY

oh damn Octavia wanna FUQQ him

big bad dad Bellamy does not approve tho

Clarke shhhshhshh shut up you’re giving Bellamy the idea to cut off all the wristbands so he doesn’t have to pay for his crimez

oh damn now u did it he has his thinking face on

Finn for godsakes stop flirting with Octavia u have a space girlfriend could u actually be any more of a fuck boy

JONTY 420 BLAZE IT!!!!!! THEY GOT ARRESTED FOR SMOKING THE WEED BCUZ EVEN IN SPACE MARRIAGE IGUANA IS ILLEGAL

I wish they’d bring back more radiation animals like the 2 headed deer tbh that was cool af

Murphy u silly boy that’s not how you spell that

hahahaha kabby stop fighting ur gonna bang in a few seasons u love each other get with the program this is embarrassing

everyone checking out Octavia undressing: relatable content

“Well there is, so take off your damn clothes” Finn I s2g if u don’t GO AWAY

OhFCuK THE SEA CREATURE NOOOOO THANK UUUUU

Jasper saving Octavia :’)

Bellamy’s 1st motivational speech wow the beginning of an icon

“whatever the hell we want” my insides are tingling

WELLS VS. BELLS STARING CONTEST WHO’S GONNA BLINK FIRST

enjoy the rain while it’s not acid yet my sweet children, death is near

Kane stop being an asshole, ur gonna grow like 17 beards and become The Nicest Guy In Town™ just u wait

awe Abby seeing Clarke’s drawings in her cell, too bad u sent ur daughter down to earth to die

THE GLOW FOREST!!!! Finn go away

henlo Abby time 2 die

PSYCH UR NOT DYING 2DAY PLOT TWIST

damn Kane was rly about to float his future wife tho savage af my dude

Jasper is so happy I’m so heartbroken

wait he just got speared he’s not so happy now FiNn gO aWaY

ugh ok now how many more episodes do I have to wait until my beautiful space queen descends in her shuttle to save everyone?

[ravenvsfox]

can u do kevineil and renison plslllsls ily

sure buddy sorry it took me a sec (I’ll do kevineil here and renison in a separate post :))

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

dude this is a toss up because they’re both such BITCHES

like neil is a button presser and he pushes kevin to push himself and he doesn’t realize kev’s limits emotionally BUT kevin doesn’t get neil’s limits physically, and he def works him too hard?? they both canonically cycle through hurting and helping tbh

who is emotionally stronger?

I think Neil has the upper hand bc of his iron fucking will, while kevin’s still a little shaky on standing up for himself when it matters (neil! does not have this problem!). So I think they both have huge fractures in their emotional stability but Neil comes back swinging and Kevin breaks

who is physically stronger?

you best believe they fight about this once a week but it’s kevin 

he’s got killer strength in both arms and he’s been intensively training for that little bit longer, aware of what exy could make or break for that little bit longer so he’s jacked

neil is strong but small and lightweight mostly and kevin could beat him in an arm wrestle even if neil used both his arms :/

who is more likely to break a bone? 

this is maybe the funniest shit i’ve ever heard ‘who’s more likely to break a bone, the butcher’s son or kevin ‘i’ve never been skiing’ day’

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

when they argue cities are wiped out pal like two men enter one man leaves it’s brutal but tbh it’s always gonna be neil? like it just is. kevin can spit whatever hateful ‘motivation’ he has shoved up his sleeves but neil knows just where kev lives and he’ll go for the kill shot every time

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

it’s neil I think?? they’re both stubborn as fuck but I think neil gets so harsh that he scares himself, and he also knows how terrified kevin can be when he’s threatened so like. he’ll feel real bad real quick. In canon he was so pissed at kevin for being a coward, but the longer they’re together the more he realizes that kevin’s just surviving like neil has been his whole life, it just looks different. (after that he starts apologizing by climbing into kevin’s bed or sliding him a shot of vodka or grabbing his gear and kevin’s hand and going to the court)

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

like definitely kevin treats neil’s because neil is a gd disaster and kevin wants him FIXED and WHOLE forEVER but also consider Neil grabbing kevin’s bad hand and working the tension out of it?? Checking on him after games bc kevin goes too hard and kevin calls him a hypocrite and then they probably fuck

who is in constant need of comfort? 

in a truly shocking turn of events it’s both of them, and the overlap in their nightmares is something that binds them together. Remember kevin’s awkward little offer for help after riko?? and how touched neil was??? Like that’s how it goes a lot of times. They talk out their common ground and tear each others nightmares apart. They have a lot of convergent shit that only they can fully understand about each other, bc they were raised in the same horror show and they helped each other escape 

who gets more jealous? 

mmmmm I’m gonna say kevin bc neil is very pretty and very unaware of it, and neil is still the least observant man on earth

kevin just feels a lot all the time tbh and he’s so painfully reliant on neil that he doesn’t now how to deal with his place being threatened™️️

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

okay see: above where I said kevin’s reliant on neil like hi in what world would he walk out on his prized striker and also neil still has his kevin binder and he looks at it when he’s sad don’t tell me either of them could make it one full minute apart

who will propose? 

do either of them know what marriage is honestly neither of them would even consider it?? Until -- you guessed it -- kevin gets injured and neil’s like cool hi im here and the hospital is like nah u gotta be married and neil’s like married?? we must be this

who has the most difficult parents?

idk babes what do u think dead murdering abusers or David Wymack?? I’ll give you time to think

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

kevin holds neil’s hand like it’s a leash i’m gonna be real with you

I feel like a lot of these answers are the same as andreil bc they’re.... all........ together

who comes up for the other all the time? 

idk who do you think is more obsessed with the other let’s ask neil’s binder full of kevin

who hogs the blankets? 

it’s kevin he hogs the spotlight and the ball and the blankets what can I say

who gets more sad? 

a BAD question with a VERY BAD answer sorry but they both do pal. buddy. dude. they had terrible childhood’s and a brutal time cutting themselves free and they’ll never be all the way better (but like they get really really close. together.)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

depends on ur definition of cheering up bc neither of them are particularly cheerful lads

if Neil’s in a rut kevin will just nudge him and suggest Exy and if that doesn’t work he’ll drag neil out drinking or driving (not both lmao) and neil kind of hates it but at least he’s not empty

(when neil asks kev to play exy it’s always yes)

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this....... doesn’t happen........... kevin & neil doen’t know what a joke is........ u know that ‘it went over your head’ ‘nothing goes over my head, i would catch it’ meme from gotg.. yeah... that was written about them

who is more streetwise?

uhhh definitely neil? like their origin story is literally that kevin was put on this hyper sheltered restricted path and Neil was plucked off of that same path and put on the run

Kevin was swaddled in fear and routine so he couldn’t move. Neil was set loose into a war zone, and he knows his way around that war zone now

who is more wise?

depends on what ur asking mate. History trivia kevin’s your guy. math problem, get Neil. Exy, they can fight to the death tbh

like they’re both pretty dense about a lot of obvious things but intensely intelligent in specific fields so pick your poison

who’s the shyest? 

I think kevin participates in a sort of forced shyness? like he has his public face and he has his obnoxious callout asst. coach mode, but his actual true, scared, caring core?? we almost never see it. Neil’s bitchiness is an echo of his actual frustration and passion and kevin’s is more definitely a front

who boasts about the other more? 

guys holy shit remember when neil wiped riko across the floor at that first talk show reunion situation?? Neil’s constantly like ‘HI kevin’s king of the castle and ur a dirty rascal, eat my ass’ like he might fight him in private but he thinks kevin created the world, like he physically can’t imagine Exy without Kevin in it

who sits on who’s lap? 

im laughing picture kevin trying to sit in neil’s lap the height difference would be. something

but also kevin likes to be protected so catch him lying down w his head in Neil’s neck and his feet dangling off the bed

(also neil sits in kevin’s lap and kevin looks up at him like he’s GOD)