#ur SO SMART holy shit kid. ur going places

[loplainlointhemorning]

i dated someone once who thought it was a gripping artistic opinion to compare metal machine music to that one fully black painting that’s designed to decay overtime. rich kids are handed flowers for comparisons that a dog could make

[miltonbarbie]

South park headcanons with naturally talented Y/n ! (Kyle x F!reader)

Going going down to south park, was probably the best idea you've ever made, and the most life-changing idea you've ever made.

Your parents were moving to south park so your dad could work for his new job. You just finished unpacking and you knew that you were starting south park elementary by tomorrow. You looked around your room feeling proud of yourself. You decorated it really nicely and had all your video games and instruments laid on the shelves and floors. You were known as the person who's good at everything. You've always gotten good grades, your super athletic, you play more than 5 instruments and your parents are always bragging about you.

But all you wanted was they're approval, that's why you started this whole "good at everything" phase in the first place. You went downstairs and put on your boots.

♡

"Momm! I'm going outside for a few hours so I can see what it's like okay? I'll be back before dinner!!"

After you heard your mom's approval for going outside, you opened the door and felt the cold breeze on your face. This was your new home.

You decided to go see your neighbours house, you wanted to get familiar with the people you would be going to school with to avoid any awkwardness. You knocked on the door, and a boy who was the same age as you opened it. He wore a green babushka(?) hat and it seemed like he had red curly hair underneath, judging by the strands poking out of his hat. You smiled and waved at him, he turned his head sideways and called out to his mom.

“MOMMM! We have a VISITOR!”

You were invited into the house by the boy’s mom, and you two sat down on the couch while Mrs. Broflovski went to get snacks for the two of you. You awkwardly made eye contact with the kid beside you until you decided to speak up.

[ “So uh, it seems like we’ll have to introduce ourselves. I’m Y/n, and I moved in next door. I’m yo ur new neighbour!” ] [ Oh, well. Welcome to South Park Y/n. My name’s Kyle. ]

You two talked to each other for some time while eating the snacks Kyle’s mom got for you two. And he offered to bring you upstairs to play video games together. Of course, you accepted. Why wouldn’t you want to play games with your new friend? Kyle DID have to warn you about South Park elementary though. And him hating Eric’s guts, he sternly told you to stay away from him, because he’s: “A fatass that’s always getting on everyone’s nerves”. You decided to take his advice whether he was being serious or not. He really seemed to hate this guy, a lot.

You two chatted and laughed together while discussing what you've experienced so far at south park. Kyle also offered to help you with assignments for school if you needed any help. You shrugged and said that you didnt need any help with your work ..

But you could help with HIS ?!

Oh no no no!

Kyle laughed a bit and brushed off what you said, he explained that he already got straight A's and asked you for your grades. You pulled up a crumbled up (graded) assignment from your jacket pocket and showed it to him.

"Ahaha! I dont need any help with my grades, but thanks anyway. You must be pretty good at homework if you- WHAT THE FUCK."

Y-you- got- better- grades- than- him-

[ "HOLY SHIT HOW MUCH DO YOU STUDY?!" ] [ "Uhh.. I dont ? ]

Kyle's self esteem was pretty much ruined because of you, and on top of that, you don't even study. How could you y/n?! You could pretty much see some tears forming in his eyes because he cared about his grades so much just to see that his hard work didn't matter as long as he saw how well you did. You quickly took action and uh.

You uh.

You kinda uhm. Hugged him.

WHAT WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?! Poor boy was about to cry, and you didn't want him to feel bad. You reassured him that you just had good memory and that you weren't ever as smart as him. You actually are but just for Kyle's sake just lie about it okay?

All that talk about how smart he was and how well he was doing in school and shii really payed off. Because not only does he really like you as friend, and developed some small mixed feelings 4u: He stayed really cocky and might stay like that for the whole week.

You two stayed up for past your dinnertime, when you checked your phone. Your eyes widened as you frantically got your things and texted your mom. She said she knew where you were already since Kyle's mom already messaged her about it.

You sighed in relief after your mom said you could stay there. And you happily continued talking to Kyle. He pays attention to every little detail you say and he loves looking into your eyes during a conversation because he thinks your just so damn pretty.

UH SO YEAH UHM I RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR THIS ONE BUT I STILL THINK ITS PRETTY GOOD TYTYTYTYTYSMSMSMSMSMSMILYSYSYSYSYSILYMSMSMSMSM </33333333

[moon-ursidae]

THE MANDALORIAN 3.01 SPOILERS

IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I’VE SEEN MY BELOVEDS

this ep is only 36 minutes???

i wonder how they’re gonna break my heart in 36 minutes

or maybe they won’t idk

i’ve been conditioned to expect tragedy by tlou

ANYWAY

okay i hear forge sounds

THE ARMORER???

okay slay

GOD I LOVE THE MUSIC THANK YOU LUDWIG

SHE’S MAKING A HELMET ISN’T SHE

YUUUUUUUP

SLAYYYYYY

it’s small….

omg i thought it was gonna be a flashback to little din but paz is there

i kinda love that they’re showing this process

gives a bit more gravity to din’s situation

THIS IS THE WAH✨💅🏻

oh? what’s going on?

HOLY FUCK????

THAT’S A BIG CROC

GODDAMN.

seeing all these mandalorians is so sick

THAT HELMET SHOT??? SO GOOD

omg this really is a big croc it hit the death roll

OMG THE ARMORER???

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THAT’S MUTHA FUCKIN DIN DJARIN

I KNOW THE SOUND OF THAT FLUTE

I’M CRYING BYYYEEEEEEEEE

THE APOSTATE???????????

GO AWAY I’M A MESS

people that didn’t watch the book of boba fett are so confused right now

i’ve missed din djarin and grogu so goddamn much

HE’S WEARING HIS CHAIN SHIRT😭😭

he’s really like “yea girl i know what the fuck is up. i can redeem myself”

i’m SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY BOYS BACK

IS HE NAPPING?????

FUCK OFF

i’m gonna cry this is so sweet

the music is amazing oh my god

THE CINEMATOGRAPHYYYYYYYYY

THE WAY HE CRAWLS INTO DIN’S ARMS GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NEVARRO NEVARRO NEVARRO NEVARRO

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“here to meet an old friend” god i love him

I LOVE SEEING THE WORLD FROM GROGU’S PERSPECTIVE WITH SUCH BRIGHT CHEERY WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING UUUUUGH

the ig statue😭

“you remember your old friend?” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

GREEF!!!!!

high magistrate??? slay

the droids carrying the trail of his cape lmao

SETTLE DOWN??😭😭😭😭😭

“his name is grogu.” “if you say so.” HAHAHA

using the force for snacks oml i love him

pirates????

din leaning on the tree HAHAHA

he’s so ready for shit to hit the fan

karga is like “omg stop acting like ur 5 just come have a drink in my office”

“is there a problem here magistrate?” 💅🏻✨

he’s so ready to put these bitches in their place

are they really gonna have a shootout in front of a fucking school bc shit changed? please grow up

din is so ready oh my god

this is so western i love it

“try me” OOOOOOOOO

oh he’s good

hittin his hand like that

DIN LEANING HAHAHA

OH HE WAS READYYYYYYYY

this is so classic hollywood western

the framing and close up on karga, the lighting on his face, the music in the background UGH it’s so good

wait where’s the kid?

where’s grogu??

oh there he is jesus christ i got so scared just then

OH THEY’RE ADDRESSING CARA DUNE WAIT

“she was recruited by special forces” ahhhhh i see

i didn’t think they would kill her off like that

the way din shakes his head after learning gideon was sent to a tribunal :(

omg din as a lawman PLEASE

the idea of din being a marshal is so AHH

i love how greef is trying to get him to settle down rn

he’s really been domesticated since reinventing nevarro

“i need him back.” HUH?????? WHAAAAAT?????

IS THIS ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN???

“i need a droid i can trust to help me explore mandalore.” okay so he still has trust issues w droids

“and he’s that droid.” PLEASE HE SOUNDS SO SOFT UUGGHHH😭😭

i love when they prove all the himbo believers wrong

din djarin is literally so smart and clever i do not understand people that unironically believe that he’s dumb

to be a bounty hunter, and considered the best in the parsec?? you have to be damn smart for that

put some respect on the name PLEASE

omg grogu being right next to din while he’s working 🥺

i hope he wakes up omg plz

NOOOOO :(

you tried din :(

AND SUCCEEDED???? I SAW HAND TWITCHING

OH MY GOD😭😭😭😭

din djarin i know you’re at least somewhat smiling under that helmet

THE GIDDY LIL BOUNCE HE DID SHUT UP😭😭

OH SHIT. OH SHIT.

THIS IS HORRIFYING OH MY GOD???

“now that’s using your head.” DIN PLEEEAAASSEEEE LMAO

“if things go skud.” adding that one to the vernacular right away

sometimes i forget that star wars has slang in it

WAIT WAIT WAIT I JUST REALIZED IS THIS GONNA FUCKING BE BABU FRIK

NO. FUCKING. WAY.

i don’t think it’s babu?? BUT OH MY GOD

“uhhhhhh… okay.” I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HAHAHAHA

he’s always asking people if they speak huttese LMAO

THE WAY HE’S CROUCHED IN HERE OH MY GOD THAT MEANS HE HAD TO FUCKING CRAWL IN THERE HAHAHAHAHA

I LOVE DIN DJARIN

“this one is my friend.”😭😭😭😭

“i got it.” SO SASSY

“he says you should get a new one.” AND THE GLARE. I FEEL THAT GLARE THROUGH THE VISOR AND INTO MY SOUL

GROGU OH MY GOD HAHAHA

WHAT IS HE DOIN💀💀

THE APOLOGETIC HAND GESTURES “sorry about that. he’s young.” LMAOO

the way that grogu kept trying to grab him after din took him away HAHA

HE’S PISSED.

din djarin: ceritifed dad

teaching grogu about being a mandalorian and piloting a ship😭😭😭😭

i’m taking notes on this shit so i can be prepared when i daydream later🫡

bro what is this guy’s problem

GROGU STRAPPING HIMSELF IN ON DIN’S BANDOLIER SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW😭

I’VE MISSED WATCHING DIN DJARIN OUT MANEUVER BITCHES

HE’S SO SMART

THE MUSIC???

I LOVE THIS SEQUENCE

oh shit. that’s a big ass ship.

“dank ferrik.” YYEEEAAAAAAAA

MANDALORIAN CASTLE???

getting flashbacks to kamino rn

so thiiiis is where bo katan is

“i’m here to join you.” oh??

“where were you then?” a child probably??

he’s so slay for that

he really said “FINE. i’ll do it myself AND prove you wrong” and sashayed away

“goodbye din djarin.” when did she learn his name? i don’t remember. everytime i hear someone say his name in the show i’m like THAT’S INSIDER INFORMATION HOW DO YOU KNOW?

what a fun first episode!! i’m super excited for the rest of the season and what’s to come next week!!

MORE MANDALORE WOOOOOO

STARRING PEDRO PASCAL YUUUUP

he is running the world rn i’m so proud of him

i’m so so so so happy to have mando back though. star wars means so much to me UGH <3

see ya’ll on sunday for episode 8😳 of tlou! if not sunday then next wednesday! <3

kate sackhoff is gorgeous lemme just say

OH HE WAS REEEEAAADDDYYYYYYYY

the mandalorian means so much to me uugh i’m so excited and happy to have my loves back

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

So, I had an idea but I'm not good at writing...

Then I remembered you're the best at that so, y'know. Obvious thing was to come here.

My idea was:

Kim Namjoon says he loves the reader but she strikes out saying "You don't love me. You just love the idea of being seen with me."

Yeah very brief idea but its not that descriptive which means you could write it -gets on knees and does puppy eyes-

I know you'd do an amazing job...okay soft time over, eugh. Anyway totally you're choice, thank u for ur time. Cya later! x

He furrowed his brow and planted a hand on the book you were holding, forcing you to close it.

“Explain.”

You narrowed your eyes. “What is there to explain?”

“’You don’t love me. You just love the idea of being seen with me’? How can these things be true?”

Silence. Underneath it, rage shimmered.

“There two truths in this world,” you said lowly, sliding the book down to the table and losing your place, but it didn’t matter, for you had memorized the page number. “One, people tend to choose partners more attractive than them. And two, if they’re not more attractive than them, they’re more brilliant than them. I just so happen to be both those things to you, Kim Namjoon.”

“I love you as a person.”

You laughed acidly. “No one likes me as a person. You know why? Because I don’t let them.” You tilted your head, scrutinizing the man before you, tall, dark-haired and neatly parted, glowing tanned skin, wearing a tailored black suit and a frown. “I’m a national chess champion and leading a research group in cutting-edge gene augmentation therapy. The press love to call me a class-A bitch. Why would an award-winning music producer have any interest in me at all?”

“You were a child once.”

“That was a long, long time ago, Namjoon, and I’m not that kid chasing after you asking you to read me the Odyssey anymore.”

“That doesn’t matter. You still have the same determination in life.”

You ticked your head. “And so?”

“To me, you are the one I have always admired and wanted.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “Popular kids simply don’t understand that nerds like us don’t need you.”

“I’m not saying you need me. I am saying I need you.”

“You are only saying that because your parents want you to get married,” you snapped, snatching your book from the table, but Namjoon slammed his hand down on it, startling you.

“Listen to me,” he demanded, deep voice deepening, fanning his fingers out over the cover. “I asked your parents to meet you. I asked for this date. My parents weren’t involved. I haven’t seen you in forever. You’ve been off conquering the world with your brilliance and your beauty and you never gave me a damn chance to say anything and, the second I do, you shut me down?”

“Look, you are stuck in the past–”

“No, you are stuck in the past. You are not giving me a chance because you think we’re back in high school and me becoming the valedictorian was some personal attack or vendetta against you, when the reality was the teachers just picked whoever the fuck they wanted. I didn’t have a say–”

“Then maybe you should have turned it down,” you interjected, but Namjoon cut you off, his large hand grabbing yours as you tried to rise, yanking you back down forcefully. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the waiter attempt to walk into the private room but immediately back up as he sensed the tension.

“No one cares–”

“I care, obviously!”

His eyes widened at your tone and you flung his hand aside, your navy dress flourishing with the movement.

“Do you know how many years I spent afterward with my parents rattling off in my ears? That should have been you, maybe you aren’t that smart, holy shit, day in, day out, shit, I still get that damn speech! Imagine my fucking glee when I heard you wanted to go on a date so I could turn your ass down, spending all this time proving myself to live up to you, the ideal.”

“You’re pissed at me because of your parents?” Namjoon sputtered in disbelief. “You won’t give me a chance because of your parents?”

“No, I won’t, because if by some freak accident I actually like you, I will be doing nothing but satisfying their wish to have you as their son.”

“You are being immature, ridiculous, and childish.”

“Good, do you hate me yet?”

“No, I don’t.”

You scowled.

Namjoon pointed to your book. “I recommended this book to Yoongi-hyung recently.”

You glanced at The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. “It’s a book. They are meant to be read.”

“You’ve been using him to keep tabs on me.”

“I don’t use people,” you hissed. “And he does what he wants.”

“Such as being your spy and giving you information about my life when you could ask me directly.”

You scoffed. “Why would he do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, because he thinks it’s hilarious that I ask him the same things about you, so he’s been playing cat-and-mouse with us all these years out of sheer amusement.”

A muscle in your eye twitched. “Why are you keeping tabs on me?”

Namjoon responded automatically. “Because I love you. Why are you keeping tabs on me?”

“Because you irritate me.”

Namjoon narrowed his eyes. “Insufficient logic.”

You were a chess player. You saw the checkmate coming and you couldn’t stop it.

“You asked Yoongi-hyung to sleep with the girl I liked before I could ask her on a date.”

God-fucking-damnnit, Min Yoongi, I told you not to tell anyone!

He cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t want me to be your parents’ son, but your problem could be easily solved if I married another woman. You choose to meddle in it.”

You would have some very choice words with a certain smirking, cat-eyed man later.

“Well, maybe your life should be miserable.”

“Over being high-school valedictorian? I think you’re taking your parents’ projections of success onto you a little too far.”

“It is incredibly annoying how often they remind me I need to seduce you and bear your babies,” you grumbled, feeling your resolve crumble a little.

“You never had to seduce me and there are many alternatives to childbearing, including surrogates and adoption, that I am happy to explore.”

“I want children. I just don’t want my parents to be right about you.”

Namjoon smirked. “What would they be right about?”

You huffed, looking away, somewhat disturbed how that dimpled smirk made your heart flutter a little. “I don’t want to my husband to be a goody-two-shoes. There’s no way I’m spending the rest of my life sampling vanilla ice cream.”

“Oh?”

He purred your name and you frowned at his tone, suddenly low, dangerous, and on the brink of causing heart arrhythmia.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.”

Your eye twitched, heat rising to your neck and cheeks. “Does Min Yoongi not know the meaning of in confidence–”

“I’m very persuasive,” Namjoon drawled, knowing glint in his eye. “And an avid researcher in my own way.”

--

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[fandomlit]

healing (sirius black x reader)

requested by anon “hey honey, could you do one sirius x reader with 40, 50 and 83 from ur prompt list? :)”

summary after sirius gets injured during an intense full moon, you have to help patch him up, and maybe patch up some other feelings on the way.

warning swearing, angst, blood and injury mentions, kinda long

o hey i do writing prompts,, those used in this fic will be in bold

gif cred belongs to @softtroublemaker​

“you’re okay, mate... you’re okay.”

remus was already fast asleep in his bed after an exhausting full moon, but the other three marauders were wide awake. sirius was propped against the chest at the end of his bed, one hand on top of james’s, applying pressure to the gushing wound on his stomach. his eyes were squeezed shut and teeth gritted, wondering where the hell peter had gone.

"where the fuck is peter?!” he gritted out, sucking in a sharp breath directly after the words left his mouth.

“he’s getting y/n,” james said quickly and dismissively.

“what?!” sirius demanded, head shooting up from where it was rested.

“listen!” james exclaimed. “i know what happened the other day, but she’s the only one who knows her way around medicinal shit, okay?” sirius just squeezed his eyes shut and let his head loll back again.

“i can’t.”

“what do you mean you can’t?” sirius scoffed as you crossed your arms definitely. he shook his head as you closed your eyes. “you and that hufflepuff kid broke up three months ago. you’re seriously telling me you feel nothing? that you broke up with him for fun?”

“that’s not what im saying and you know it.”

“then what is it?” sirius demanded, letting out another scoff as he stepped toward you.

“you have a reputation, sirus,” you started slowly, opening your eyes to watch him throw his head back with an indignant huff. “and i don’t feel like im ready-”

“here we go again.”

you blinked, jaw dropping. “sirius-”

he threw his arms out in frustration. “how much longer do i have to-to drop hints and flirt with you and compliment you for you to realize how in love with you i am? for you to realize that i’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and i want to chase this feeling to the ends of the earth, and i’ve been waiting for you to realize how much of an idiot that kid was since the day he asked you out?!”

you closed your eyes again, letting the words hang in the air. you bit back tears, giving yourself a minute for your throat to stop closing your words in. you just shook your head. “i can’t.” when you opened your eyes, he was gone. you wiped away your tears and left, too.

“i came as soon as i heard.”

your voice brought a tinge of pain to his heart. he wanted to believe it was just from his wound.

“holy shit you’re bleeding,” you breathed as james pulled away from sirius, hand covered in blood. the elder potter didn’t seem to mind, nodding to peter who had trailed in behind you.

“can you help?” james asked, shaking his head desperately.

“get him on the bed,” you directed with a short nod. peter and james got to work, lifting sirius up and onto his bed as the taller boy grimaced.

“im sorry, im so sorry,” peter muttered like a mantra until sirius was finally laying back against the bed. the boys stepped back and you stepped forward, placing your first aid kit on the chest sirius had been propped against.

“what happened?” you asked.

“well-”

“not you,” you said over your shoulder. james nodded.

“yes, doctor l/n.”

you looked up to sirius, who was looking at you through tired, lidded eyes. you avoided his eyes, clearing your throat. “what happened, sirius?”

“james can tell you,” he grunted as you moved around, supplies in hand, to him.

“i need you to tell me,” you clarified as you set the supplies next to him. “i need you to stay conscious.”

sirius took a shaky breath, his eyes looking over to his concerned friends at the end of the bed before closing them again. “remus wasn’t calming down.” he felt your fingers lift his shirt off of his stomach. in any other situation, he’d be delighted. “i had to stop him from running out of the shack, and he scratched me. stayed in the shack, though.”

“okay,” you breathed, looking over the gashed skin. “it’s pretty deep.” you reached a hand up to wipe some hair off of his sweaty forehead. he clenched his jaw. “do you think you can handle stitches?”

he let out a short laugh. “will it leave a cool scar?”

you smiled at him, your fingers brushing his temple. “very cool.” 

“then do it.”

you turned to james and peter. “put a silencing charm on the door.” they nodded and you turned back to sirius. “i’ll talk you through it, okay?” he nodded. “i need you to say okay.”

“okay,” he grunted.

“i need you to talk back to me, okay?” you picked up a few disinfecting pads. “i need you to stay conscious. you can kick and scream and yell and grip peter’s hand if you need to.” you motioned over peter, who immediately took his place opposite of you, taking sirius’s hand with little confidence. he suppressed a yelp when sirius immediately squeezed his hand. “okay?”

“okay,” he affirmed.

“im gonna wipe up some blood and clean the wound,” you started. “it’s going to sting and burn, but it’ll show me where im working, okay?”

“okay.”

you took a slow breath before lightly brushing the wipe at the end of the gash. he immediately sucked in harshly, and you saw peter hunch over a bit from the death grip he was enduring. you gave him a look of pity as you continued to clean up sirius’s now completely tensed abdomen.

“you’re okay,” you assured, placing your free hand on his shoulder. his other hand whipped up to rest on yours, fingers closing around yours. you gulped. “you’re doing great.”

“im doing great,” he repeated.

“yeah,” you breathed. “yeah, you are.” after cleaning up around the wound, you patted his shoulder and slipped your hand away from his. “now im going to put some numbing cream on, okay?”

you talked him through it all. from the burning cream, to the tingles the cream incited, and all through stitching him up. you distracted him by having him to tell you about some prank he had been planning with james, and he was still talking about it by the time you had tied off the sutures and applied more disinfectant.

“you’re done,” you said softly. he opened his eyes lazily. he met your soft eyes first before looking down to his stomach. he attempted to sit himself up to get a better look at the stitching, but winced. you pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him gently back down. “stay down. you can check it out in the morning, after it’s had time to set.”

he nodded. “sure.” he finally let go of peter’s hand.

his eyes met yours again, and your gaze lingered before you grabbed your roll of bandages. “lift his back up for me, boys.” james came over and they did as told, and you wrapped the bandage around sirius’s abdomen and over the stitches. you pressed your fingers to the wound after you had clipped the bandage down. “i’ll change this in the morning, okay?”

“how long do we have to wait?” sirius asked, voice low. you turned to him in surprise. you met his dark eyes again and took a breath. peter and james nodded to each other and scurried out of the room. he shook his head when he heard the door close behind them. “you broke up with him three months ago. i hate waiting.”

you bit your quivering lip and placed a hand on his cheek. “i know.” you nodded and sniffed. “i know.”

he shook his head, “so why are we waiting?” you paused, brushing more hair out of his face. “im not going to hurt you. that’s the last thing i’d ever do.”

“i know,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

“so what are we doing?” he said, letting out a short, humorless laugh. “why won’t you let me show you how much you mean to me? how i’ve changed?”

you shook your head, pursing your lips as tears streamed down your cheeks. “stop.” he shut his mouth. “just...” before sirius could even blink, you leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

his still bloodied hands immediately shot up to tangle in your hair, drawing you as close to him as possible as his exhausted lips tried to keep up with your sudden burst of passion. when you finally pulled away, the breath he had just collected was gone.

you leaned away and wiped your eyes. you looked down at him to see his gray eyes already boring into yours, waiting for you to say something.

“i did break up with him for you,” you said gently, reaching to lock your fingers with his. “i just... didn’t know if it was the right decision.”

“it was,” he said, trying to sit up again. he grimace as he propped himself up with his free hand. you watched him carefully before he met your eyes again. “it was. he was stupid. merlin, he was stupid.”

you let out a laugh, dropping your gaze to your locked hands. “and you?”

“smart as a whip.”

“sirius,” you chuckled, looking back up to him. “how do i know that you’re not going to do the same thing? that you won’t decide there’re prettier girls and-and sneak around me?”

“because there aren’t prettier girls,” he said quickly, shaking his head. you sniffed, giving him a flattered smile. “there aren’t, i swear it.” 

you sighed, looking down again. “okay.”

“okay?”

“okay,” you repeated with a laugh, squeezing his hand. 

“what does okay mean?” he asked, shaking his head with a smile.

you let out another laugh. “it means im gonna let myself love you, too.”

he grinned before pulling you into another passionate kiss. it didn’t last long enough for his liking, however, due to an unfortunate interruption.

the door creaked open and you both turned to see james peek his head in and out. “oh- peter, back down, they’re still going!”

[taechaos]

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

[ziracona]

[The Kid -- (FGO AU) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, ?]

Not surprisingly, Ritsuka doesn’t have a lot of information on the building, but she’s got more than I expect, and some pretty solid-sounding educated guesses. Mostly, I’m just worried about my end. That we might not have enough firepower to push through a bunch of mages, especially if I can’t start getting more mana from her. If I fail, and go down in there, I’m getting resummoned to living hell, and she’s probably dead. That’s about the last thing I want, so I need a good plan before going in. Lucky for me, reckless but effective underdog plans are kind of my thing.

Snacking on her rice porridge, I try and work through that while absorbing information. …Figure the first thing I should do is see if there are other servants already summoned in there. I should be able to sense that, once I’m a little less dead. If there are, freeing them would add a lot to our fighting forces—wait, no, they’ll probably be about dead, and she can’t heal them because she doesn’t know how. And she can’t anchor more than one probably, since she’s doing it totally solo. So, they’d just die and vanish... Though, she did say…

“Hey,” I say, interrupting a breakdown of personnel she knows of in R&D. She’s actually really good at this planning stuff too—drawn me a little chart and everything. Her profiles might not be the most photo-realistic, but damn if they aren’t still effective in their own way at conveying what people look like—I’ve seen some of these mages, and I can pick them out from her little doodles on sight. “Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a few things I want to ask—one I meant to ask a while ago; they know you did this?”

Ritsuka looks surprised, then nods, chagrined. “Yeah. I mean, probably. I was able to cause a really good distraction, but there was no way to block the cameras, and I had to use my own card and get recognized to make it in the front at all, so, they do or they will really soon. That’s why I came here, instead of my apartment,” she adds, gesturing to the motel, “I tried to pick a list of hotels and motels I wouldn’t pick from usually, and then I chose one randomly from that list, and paid in cash. I hope that’s enough to make me harder to find.”

I don’t know if it will be myself, but I’m impressed she thought that far ahead. Maybe she has a knack for life on the lamb herself. Not a bad little escape plan.

“I’m kind of worried about Mom and Dad,” she adds quietly, glancing at her hands, “I haven’t talked to them at all, because I thought it would put them in danger, but what if it does anyway?”

Oh. I watch her, and the pain and fear there she’s trying to be brave about. She…isn’t just nice, and good, and a bleeding heart; she’s sacrificed a lot personally to help me.

“Won’t happen,” I promise firmly, “We’ll take care of things before that.”

“You sure?” she asks worriedly, trying to stop her eyes from getting misty.

I nod. “Promise. They won’t go there first. They’ll be lookin’ for me, and worried about me comin back right now. Then they’ll try to locate you. Family is more useful if they can just tap the phones and see if you contact—probably won’t even risk spooking them for a while. We got some time.”

That reassures her, and she looks a lot better. Returns my nod.

“…Wait, when you said ‘distraction’ a minute ago,” I say, that little detail clicking late.

“Oh,” she says, “Yeah. Well. I needed the power to go out in the building, and people to not be guarding you so I could get in. I couldn’t bypass doors or alarms, because I don’t know magic or tech stuff, so I had to make sure the whole building was on emergency protocol to make it easy for staff to evacuate to get in there at all. I couldn’t do that any fancy trick way, so, I looked up how to make a bomb and blew up a storage wing on the second floor I knew was empty.”

Holy shit.

“I-I checked the building schematics and asked several people you had to pay online to make sure it wasn’t a big part of the structural integrity!” she defends anxiously, misreading my response, “I made sure I wasn’t gonna knock down the building or kill somebody!”

“No—I’m impressed!” I say, lighting up, “That’s genius!”

“Really?” she asks.

“Hell yeah!!” I say, “Smart to not pick ground floor either. Means they know the threat came from inside the building—it’ll throw ‘em into a panic. And taking out the power? –You taught yourself how to make a bomb?”

“It actually wasn’t that hard,” she says, flushing, “…kind of scary how easy, actually. I had to get components from all different places, and pay in cash so my bank wouldn’t get suspicious, but. It was easier than I thought.”

Damn, she does have a knack. A strong one.

“You’d’ve made a damn fine outlaw,” I say.

For a second she seems to be unsure if that’s meant as a compliment or an insult, and then she hesitantly grins back. “Yeah? Huh. I’m not used to people thinking I’m good at stuff.”

From the far-away look on her face I don’t think she really meant to say that out loud, so I grin and answer before she has a chance to realize it. “Guess you never found something that interested you before.”

She glances at me and nods. “So, what else did you want to ask about?”

“Oh—your circuits. You said you possess a lot of mana?” I ask, “You find out any more about that while doing research there?”

“I did,” she says, passing me my eighth chocolate and unwrapping one for herself and munching on it, “Basically, they told me I’m super weird, and it’s like my body is tapped into a family lineage crest with more magic than it knows what to do with. But I don’t even have a mage crest!”

Not totally sure what that means, but I nod like I do because I get most of it from context.

“So, they say it’s like if I had a connection to a big like, whole lake full of mana. Waaaay more than even mages from good bloodlines have. But my circuits aren’t designed to access it all.”

“So you can’t get at it?” I ask.

“Well, this is gonna sound stupid, but it was the version that made the most sense to me,” she replies, “One of the assistants told me it was like if you had a whole lake of mana, but you could only get any of it out with a garden hose. It’s all there, but it’s just…not designed to be used all at once. They don’t think I could probably ever throw it all into one big spell attack, even with years of training. But, I’d have the most amazing mage stamina they ever saw. They said in a Holy Grail war I might be ridiculously weak at offering any combat support, but I could support all seven servants at the same time on my own if I tried, and then some!” She flashes me a big grin, very proud of that.

Interesting. “So. It’s not tirin you out?” I ask, “Our contract?”

She shakes her head. “I can barely tell. I can’t tell at all energy-wise. I just can feel there’s a connection there, kind of like an invisible thread.”

“Wow. You know most mages can barely support a servant outside a situation with extra support like the grail offers during a war, right?” I ask her.

She blinks at me. “For real?”

I nod. “I hear it’s exhausting.”

She stares at the far wall, then extends her arms and looks at them in wonder.

“You think you could support another?”

Ritsuka glances back from her hands. “Another servant—spirit?” she corrects. It’s cute—girl keeps refusing to call us that even though I do it so automatically. I nod. She nods back. “Yeah, easy.”

“How many you think you could do at once?” I ask.

“Uhm. …I don’t know. Twelve?” she guesses. Holy shit that’s a lot. “Probably more. But definitely at least that many if they all feel like this does. Why?”

I glance down at the little hand-drawn map sitting on the bed. “Because if they already got more servants in there, and we pick ‘em up as we go, a lot of our problems with this plan go away.”

“But, I can’t really support any of them,” she says worriedly, “I’m barely giving you enough to heal you slowly. None of you will be able to use much magic to fight.”

“True,” I reply, “But one of us can do a hell of a lot even without access to a noble phantasm. And more importantly, they won’t know how limited we are. That’s an edge.”

She thinks that over. “…Yeah. I. I guess it is…It’d throw them off, and make them feel overwhelmed and probably get them to panic.”

I nod. “Only problem is healing one of us enough we can get going.”

“Oh yeah,” she says, hopeful expression falling.

“I know you don’t know that kind of spell, but if there’s somewhere we could get stuff to do it for us—some mages use Mystic Codes or enchanted objects, right? I don’t guess you know of any—”

She’s shaking her head. “I’m sorry,” she says miserably, “I don’t even know where in Ur-shanabi something like that might be stored.”

Damn. I was really hoping. …

“I’m sorry I’m useless,” she says quietly, looking down at her hands and the seals there.

“You aren’t,” I reassure her, “I’m just as useless at magecraft as you—more. You’d have been better off with a caster. They’d actually know how to help. But we’ll figure somethin’ out.”

She’s still looking at her hand. Straightens up a little and turns it to inspect, then looks over at me. “Could I heal one of you with a command spell?”

“Yeah, I think,” I say, “But only twice, before being out of ‘em for good.” Mages all consider the last one one you don’t use, anyway. It’s the safeguard—the threat you keep so if your spirit turns on you, you can put us down. The loaded gun. I don’t bring that up though, because she probably knows, and as long as I’m up, she ain’t gonna need it, even if one of the others decides to cause her trouble.

“Right, and there might be more than two in there,” she says unhappily, lowering her hand.

I’m thinking back hard as I watch her, running over everything I’ve ever heard from a mage or a caster about how any of this works. I want to help. I want this to work, but I also want to repay what little I can. I wish Geronimo was here…

“…I know there’s supposed to be ways to fix the problem you’re havin’,” I offer after a second, wishing I knew more and had more to offer, “Someone who knows magic should be able to teach you to use it better, and that’d fix the problem, but I can’t do that. …What you need is someone who can. … You got any idea how to summon one of us? I could help you find a leyline, and-”

She’s shaking her head again. “I don’t know how at all. And it’s not something I can just look up. …I could try, but. I don’t have any artifacts, or practice, or knowledge, and it would probably just be dangerous and I’d draw attention to myself.”

I think hard. “We could try.”

“How? We don’t even have a source of power? You need a lot of mana at once to try and summon a heroic spirit without something like a grail present. I saw a little part of the summon circle at Ur-shanabi once and it was HUGE. I’ve never even felt so much magic in one place—”

“Wait, all you need is a big burst of mana?” I ask, suddenly excited.

“What? Uh—yeah, but I mean big. Way big! Big like I couldn’t do—”

“—But I could!” I insist.

She stares at me. “But…how? You can’t use a noble phantasm without disappearing, because I’m bad at supplying mana.”

“No, no other spirit could use their phantasm like this. Me? I can,” I say proudly, a slow smile starting.

“What?” says Ritsuka, “How? That’s impossible—what do you mean?”

“You know, I’m starting to think this whole thing bein’ you and me was for a reason,” I say instead of answering outright, snagging another little chocolate from the tray and giving her a smile as I do, “See, I don’t really have a noble phantasm, actually.”

“Wait, what??”

“Well, I do, but only kinda,” I explain, “It’s not an object or a chant, it’s the act of me firin’ my colt a specific way, so, it’s a noble phantasm technically, but it’s technically also just a skill, and it’s more technically a skill than a phantasm.” I am so god damn proud of myself right now—the look on her face is amazing. This feels great! “Not having a traditional one ain’t always the best thing, because it means mine is a real split-second kinda deal, but it’s damn powerful for that split second. And since my phantasm is more just a part of me than a specific act or item, it costs way less mana than any other noble phantasm I ever seen—or know of.”

“Wait for real?” she asks, gaping at me as her eyes light up.

I nod. “Sure is. I think with a little more rest, I could pull it off once without exhausting my core. If you can set up a circle, you can use the quick burst of mana from it to try and summon someone else. We’ll have to practice, because it’s a split second and you’ll have to call to the throne exactly when I use it, but I think we could do it.”

“Whoa.” She says. Her eyes are shining and I see the faint trace of a smile starting to form as she looks over and meets my gaze. “That…could work. I mean—I don’t know how to summon a spirit properly, but I know in theory how it works. Do you think that’s enough? You really think we could do it?”

“Well, I don’t see a reason not to try,” I say.

“But—how will I be sure I’ll get someone who can help?” she asks.

“Well, any numbers help, and any spirit’s gonna be pretty interested in this not happening to them, so I think anybody you summon would help us. It’s more complicated than that, though. Being summoned….it works multiple ways. Most of the time, you got no choice, except if you go willingly or unwillingly—you go either way. But occasionally they’re set up so the mage and the spirit both have to agree. I’ve never been on the mage end of a summons, but on our side you can usually sense the intent of a call. Occasionally we even get to choose if we want to answer. Since you and I ain’t gonna have anything close to the power to drag a spirit from the throne, it’ll be one of those, which is great, because it means if anybody shows up, they’ll have come because they heard you and wanted to come help. Just be honest and specific in what you need, and who you are. I think you’ll get lucky. I’m pretty sure if I heard someone like you asking for help plain and simple and I could do it, I’d take the pact.”

“Really?” she asks like it means something big to her.

“Yeah,” I say, and I mean it.

She smiles at me. “Okay. Great! I guess we have nothing to lose. I’ll try to set something up, and you just focus on feeling better and getting that energy back.”

“Will do,” I agree with a smile, watching her hop up and snag all her notes and diagrams and start trying to organize them. “You’ve done a lot too, though,” I add, “Make sure to get yourself some rest as well.”

The gal glances over and returns my smile. “I will. Thanks. But I’m okay—I took an accidental power nap on the floor, so I’ve got like eight more hours in me.” She proudly makes a muscle. “You want some tea before going back to sleep?”

“Sure,” I say, bemused as she vanishes back down the little hall.

This has all gone some kind of way, but, I’m surprisingly…Hopeful.

I remember the coin then, and that feeling bottoms out. Please don’t have been summoned yet, I pray, feeling a little sick.

I want so bad to think he’s not here yet, but I got a bad feeling. Did I sense him, when I was in Ur-shanabi, and I just can’t remember because I was so weak, or am I just paranoid and afraid? I don’t know. God, I hope at least he hasn’t been there anything close to as long as me. I hope he hasn’t been summoned at all. I should be trying to guess at the others, but there’s just way too many of us could be most of them. Clay pot means older ages spirit, letter means…well, recent enough for paper to survive, and shuriken means one from the east, but the earring could be anybody, and I can’t focus on it anyway. Why did it have to be somebody I know? And like? I’m trying to remember for sure how he died.

…I’m…I’m pretty sure he was bled to death slowly by a nun that was supposed to help him.

Why did we all have to die so terribly? I don’t like to think of him like that, but in my head it’s all I can see now. That terrible workshop, with its cold metal and saturated mana in the air that makes you sick with the taste of every breath, people walking by all the time to look at you like an animal in a cage. …Bolted down to the floor and cut up everywhere, half-awake in a massive puddle of his own blood. I don’t want to see that; I don’t want it to happen; I don’t want it to happen to him. He’s been through enough shit—he’s my friend.

But I got a bad feeling.

Please don’t be here, Robin. Please, God, don’t let them have picked him to summon yet.

A really bad feeling…

[richietoaster]

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

[cravingcrazewriting]

Cut My Hair

Trigger Warning- Mentions of suicide attempt and seizures

Having a brain tumor was never fun.

Everything was fine after junior year. Evan had an internship at Ellison State Park and despite still not having anyone to hang around with, it was still better than other years.

But then his head started to hurt. Then he had a seizure. And before he knew it, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and had to stay at the hospital and be prepared for surgery.

Surgery was extremely expensive, and it wasn't like he or his mom had money for that, but thankfully, his grandmother (on his mom's side) had sent down a check that covered over half of the payment. Evan felt a bit bad that she did that, because she was retired and she should be using that money for herself, not him.

He needed two different types of treatment. Chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Evan hated the radiation therapy, but it did help him. However, the surgery was still inevitable.

But the doctors were worried about a lack of socialization, so they decided to fix that. They decided they'd introduce Evan to another patient who was recently admitted into the hospital.

Someone who had just recently survived a suicide attempt, and was known for being emotionally unstable.

Yeah, that was definitely a smart idea.

Evan met him randomly at one point of day, with no warning whatsoever. Well, no forewarning, because the nurse came in and told him the mystery patient was coming in. Still, it wasn't enough time to mentally prepare himself.

The latter was named Connor, and he had long, brown hair that stopped at the bottom his chest. The normal hospital scrubs revealed red healing scars on his arms. He was like any other generic hospital patient, with heavy bags under his eyes.

"Sorry in advance that you're being dragged into my bullshit," Connor had mumbled, crossing his arms. "I'm Connor Murphy. You probably go to the same school as me, because there's only our school and the private school, and I'm positive I've seen you around."

That shouldn't have meant as much to Evan as it should've, but he was used to be forgetful, a single thought, in one ear and out the other, an outcast, but at least someone noticed him a little bit. "Y-Yeah, er, Eastwood High, r-right?"

Connor snapped his fingers. "Right! It's.. Evan, right? Evan Hansen? People pick... on you.." and he trails off, as a daunting truth falls on him. That he noticed Evan was being picked on, but didn't do anything. "I get picked on, too. I thought I'd make it worse if I tried interfering," he said defensively.

That piece of information doesn't scathe Evan, however, as he's finally been seen, and not as an inconvenience, not as the family friend, not as the burden full son, just another outcast at school, and as sad as that is, he can't help but mind it. Connor is just barely above him in the school's chain, but that only makes him more prime of a target. He doesn't find it very fair, but he'd never find the courage to smack talk the popular kids.

"N-no, no, you're okay! I.. I get it. And I'm Evan, yes," Evan was smiling like a huge dork, but he couldn't help it. He was finally seen, after so long, and even if the situation wasn't ideal, it still meant the world to him.

Connor was obviously trying to hold back a smile, but was failing. "So Hansen, got any hobbies?"

And Evan was off, talking about how before the doctors discovered his brain tumor that he had interned as an apprentice ranger at Ellison, and that he learned a ton about trees, and told Connor a little bit about it. Connor didn't make fun of him about it, though, unlike Jared, who'd say Evan must've had a tree kink or something, which was just a dick move because there wasn't a lot of things that sparked Evan's interest like that. Connor, in fact, talked about how everyone needed to help clean the environment and apparently he was passionate about that, so they had a common interest (Evan though, at least. He was never sure).

They hung out a lot and just talked. It made Evan feel normal, like there wasn't something inside his brain trying to kill him.

Jared visited with his family, and he actually seemed to feel bad for Evan. He'd purchased a small potted plant to help brighten up his hospital room. Evan appreciated it greatly.

Nearing the end of the week, Connor had told him he was going to be released at the start of the next week, and asked Evan for his number. Of course they exchanged numbers.

Evan wanted to spend as much time as possible with Connor, but it was growing harder for him to focus or not be throwing his guts out. He was having more seizures than ever.

Apparently this meant that the surgery had to be moved to an earlier date.

Evan didn't get a chance to tell Connor because it happened so fast. He felt incredibly bad. One minute his mom was talking to the surgeon, and the next he was given antibiotics to knock him out.

He had rested a lot, feeling weak from the surgery. It was successful according to the surgeon, which was a huge relief to him and his mother.

Did he forget to mention he had to get his head completely shaved? It felt embarrassing, but Heidi tried to help. She bought him a dark blue beanie so no one would bug him that much.

Evan was soon able to muster enough strength to look at his phone. He received a shit ton from Connor regarding the surgery.

Connor:

The nurses aren't letting me see u. Is everything ok?

Connor:

I tried asking them but they won't answer

Connor:

Ev, what's going on?

Connor:

Ev?

Connor:

I'm kinda freaked out. Pls respond asap

Connor:

Holy shit

Connor:

Ur mom told me. I'm sorry

Connor:

I hope it goes well

Connor:

Hey!! Heard the surgery went ok. How're u feeling?

Connor:

Heidi said ur resting. I'll leave u be

Connor:

Ok I lied

Connor:

I miss talking with u. But u need rest

Connor:

We'll hang out this summer, right? I'm somehow not going to rehab

Connor:

Fuck, I'll stop now. Just respond when ur better

Evan sighed. Connor claimed not to be talkative, but this proved otherwise. It was just too exhausting to try and corollate words that he pulled up SnapChat and took a photo of his bedsheets. He added a caption saying "hey, sorry I scared you" before sending it to the latter.

After a few minutes, Connor had responded with a picture of where his door used to reside. "It's okay," the caption read, "it isn't your fault"

A picture of the heart monitor was sent next. "What happened to your door?"

Connor sent back a picture of his black sketchbook. It wasn't opened. "Dad took it down. He thinks it'll help monitor me"

Evan moved the conversation to a chat, because he was running out of things to take pictures of, and switching apps seemed like a hassle to him.

"Well, he's trying"

"Can I tell you something?"

Of course, this made Evan anxious, but he knew Connor. In the five days they were together they already were growing close, probably because they were both incredibly lonely. Cliche as it might've sounded to anyone else, but Evan trusted him.

"Sure what is it?"

But of course Evan didn't get a response right away. SnapChat sent him a message saying 'Connor Murphy is typing...", and after he pulled up their conversation, there was the ever long three blue dots waiting for him, signaling that Connor was typing a response. But he took forever and it didn't help the anxiety quelling in his chest.

Then, he finally got a response.

"I like you. Like, a lot more than I probably should. And I know it's stupid, because we've only known each other for a week, but I know you're different than everyone else. You actually listen to me, you make me feel safe, and I don't want to loose you. I get it if you don't like the school shooter or whatever, I just don't want to loose you. Please."

And, of course Evan was flattered, and it was hard to corollate what he wanted to say through text, but he didn't want to keep Connor waiting so he could spiral, so he frantically typed out a response.

"I don't think it's stupid. I think it's super sweet, and I like you back. Even if you don't believe it, I'll do everything I can to prove it to you (also, don't call yourself a school shooter. You're so much more than that)"

Evan remembered how the next day Connor had came in, holding huge stuffed bear for him, smiling sheepishly as he set it on his bed, and asked him out on a date to A La Mode when he was released.

Evan had enthusiastically accepted, and couldn't help but anticipate the date.

Connor never made a big deal out of his hair being cut off. He did know Evan was self conscious of it, and made an effort to kiss the back of his head and reassure him that he didn't care about his lack of hair.

As much as this helped, Evan felt like he was being stared at in public, and he kept his head down, eyes glued to the floor. He did however notice Connor glaring at anyone who muttered a thing about it, or looked at him the wrong way.

One day, when he watching Chopped out of boredom, he received a text message from Connor, asking if he could come over. Evan told him he was more than fine with it, and waited for the latter to arrive.

What he wasn't expecting was Connor, with ear length hair.

"What, what h-happened? Did your dad, d-did he make you cut it?" Evan of course liked it, he thought it was cute, but it didn't stop his anxiety from going haywire.

"Nope," he popped the 'p', smiling, hiding something behind his back. "I did it willingly. Can you let me inside so I'll show you your surprise?"

Evan nodded, moving out of his way so Connor could step into the house. Afterwards, Connor said, "Now close your eyes, and take off your beanie."

Evan didn't know what that had to do with anything but complied, awkwardly standing there as he listened to Connor rummage through a paper bag, and felt something soft being placed onto his head.

Connor carefully put the beanie back on afterwards and gently took ahold of his shoulders. "Alrighty, now follow my lead."

Evan tried his best not to stumble around as Connor lead him to who knew where in his house. He felt Connor stop and stopped as well.

"Okay, you can open your eyes!" Connor told him, and he sounded oddly excited.

Evan slowly opened his eyes and gasped. There on his head, sat a brown wig, and his beanie was placed on top of it. It was styled a bit like Connor's, but it stopped near the end of his neck.

"Connor! Holy shit, h-how'd you do this?" Evan turned to him.

Connor was smiling and shifting from foot to foot. "Cynthia knows someone who makes wigs, so I went to her shop and cut my hair for your wig."

"You didn't have to do this..." he said softly.

"Evan, I'd cut my hair a million times if it'd make you happy," Connor took his hands and held them.

Evan swung them back and forth. "You're.. god. You're so amazing, but like, really corny, too."

Connor snorted. "Wow, I'm feeling the love, all right."

"Hey, thanks for, you know, doing this," Evan gently brushed a bang out of Connor's face.

"Well how else was I supposed to make you get a matching hair color?"

"Oh my god, shut up!"

[cuddliestbear]

So, I have audible and I use it like all the time. Its not that I don't like just reading books but I don't have the time anymore. I'm always doing one thing or another and don't usually have the time to just sit down and read. At work, in between phone calls I have my headphones in listening to the narrators tell their stories and type away at my keyboard. At home, I will listen while doing chores, or cooking, feeding and cleaning my animals, etc.

I have just used one of my credits to get 'The Silver Eyes' audiobook by Scott Cawthon and some other lady I don't feel like looking up right now. And I've heard about it, I've played FNAF, I've watched countless videos on Game Theorists, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, NateWantstoBattle and other channels about this game.

I'm only on Chapter 7, and holy shit. I obviously know it's a horror/thriller novel, and it's going to have some thing or another to do with creepy animatronics and missing kids, but just...I guess I wasn't expecting this much? I think this book is canon, too. Like a part of whatever convoluted story is all behind the franchise.

There are spoilers ahead if you wanted to read or listen to the book yourself. You have been warned.

So, there's Charlie, for the most part, she's the main character. I don't remember if her last name was mentioned or not. She's come back to this town of Hurricane to attend a sort of memorial/scholarship giveaway in the memory of her childhood friend Michael. Who was one of the five kidnapped and missing children. and then the story goes on from there.

I just wanna note a few things I have noticed in association with the games.

First the five missing kids. We all know the suspected backstory to the first game. Five kids were kidnapped and killed then stuffed into the animatronic suits. So, that was...interesting.

Then, Charlie's childhood home...I could be wrong but for some reason it gave me serious Fnaf 4 vibes and I'm not sure how accurate that is.

The creepy thing that was in the corner of her father's workshop where he built the animatronics. It sounded kind of like an exoskeleton, and the design reminded me of Ennard, from FNAF 5. But then she made the realization that that exoskeleton was put into the Foxy suit, so it didn't add up anymore. But who knows.

The yellow bunny. Before FnafVr came out it wouldn't have meant much to me other than just the creepy guise the killer used to capture not only those five kids but also Charlie's twin brother Sammy when they were toddlers at the Fazbear Family Diner. It reminds me HEAVILY of Glitchtrap, and I don't think that is a coincidence.

Evidently, Charlie's father started the whole Fazbear franchise. The Diner, then the pizzeria, and the others as well. I have no idea about fnaf 3 or 2 or five, but there are strong connections to at least 1, 4 and the fnavr game

The Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is described to be the same one from the first game, suggesting that during the timeline, that game came before the events of the book, but after the children's kidnappings and murders.

Dave, this "security guard" is def the same dude who wore the yellow spring Bonnie suit to kidnap and kill those kids, but Dave could just be an alias. He's a relatively new character to me still because he was only introduced a chapter or two ago.

Same topic but a little less observational of the story.

I obviously know that bad shit gonna happen because the book is centered around fnaf and knowing fnaf something bad always happens.

If ANYTHING happens to Jason, I will literally kill everyone then myself. Because he is a young child and Fazbear Entertainment and children are not a good combo, bad shit happens.

Charlie, though she is the main character is kind of weird to me because she literally grew up in a room of animatronic like toys. And I do NOT gel with that shit at all. I hate hate hate hate hate freaking animatronics and have long before fnaf was a thing. Charlie was unnatural in her fondness of them and I do not trust those who are not at least wary of things that act alive but aren't.

Jessica's character may just be written this way on purpose but I kind of wanna introduce her face to a brick repeatedly. I don't like her much.

Marla is almost as bad but not in the same way. I wouldn't smack her with a brick but maybe my hand. Who in their right mind as an older sibling would let their younger brother or any younger sibling into an abandoned building where one of their friends had been kidnapped and never seen again???? Like this bitch needs a slap hard across the face for even allowing that shit. What kind of big sister are you to bring your kid brother into possible danger like that?

Then, Charlie again, this bitch legit got attacked by foxy on her second outing to this boarded up and hidden old janky place and decided it would be okay to go back???? With some sketchy dude named Dave???? Sure her friends were with her, but the bitch literally showed them all he knew a fuck ton more about that pizzeria and the operation of those animatronics than any rando property security guard ought to, and they didn't nope the fuck out and all leave?

Then, THEN. One of their friends gets fucking kidnapped right the fuck in front of Jason by Dave dressed in the Spring Bonnie suit and since Jason is apparently too fucking stupid to say that the Bonnie was yellow, Charlie nor John caught on even though both of them would have known what that fucking meant!!!!! Like Jason, my dude, I love ya, ur a cute fuckin kid, but descriptions are fucking important. You are 11, you are smart enough to figure that out.

Also, then Carlton's dad, a police officer just kind of invites them over for cocoa and claims Carlton is pulling a trick on them and will show up. Um bitch no. You're son is probs dead, and you are not even helping to find who is responsible right now. All you're worried about is that the door was chained and the kids couldn't have gotten in. Did it occur to you or your dumb as bricks co-officer Dunn that maybe just fuckin maybe the chains were put on in between the kids leaving to get help and you all coming back? Maybe like idk the kidnapper didn't want you to follow him or interrupt whatever sick and twisted things he's doing?

Anyways, I think that's it for now. I'm going to listen to more and hopefully not fucking give myself nightmares. Wish me luck.

[sarasfm]

Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

[mydarlingvioletine]

‘Just a Puppy Crush’

Ship(s): Violet/Clementine

Media: The Walking Dead Game (Season 4)

Summary: a zombie-less modern AU in which two dorks finally get together with the help of their friends.

                        Chapter 1

It started out with an invitation Violet found on her desk. A light purple envelope, her name written on it in beautiful calligraphy.

                 Well, it started a little bit before that.

Violet missed her alarm. And six of the backup ones she had set in advance. Her mother had left early for her shift at the diner and her father didn’t come home last night, so she slept peacefully and uninterrupted.

Until she lazily stretched out with a yawn, eyes opening and landing on the alarm clock across her.

                     7:20

She hardly had time to register what it said before the alarm started angrily beeping again.

        “Holy shit… Fuck… Shit!” Violet scrambled to get up, smacking the top of the alarm clock to silence the robotic screaming. She threw her sheets to the side, grabbing her jacket off the door hook on the way out.

While vigorously brushing her teeth, she looked down at her phone.

            15 missed messages from Pain in My Ass.

[ur uber is Here… am outside]

[got your drink & bagel, where are u?]

[viiiioooooleeet]

[ v i o l e t ]

[did you put the key in a different spot?]

[coward.]

Violet scrolled through the herd impatiently, getting to the latest messages, about 15 minutes ago.

[violet please fucking get up i didnt do my english homework i need to copy off of you marlon won’t let me copy his anymore]

[fuck i have to go i cant be late to pre-session but I’ll have brody come check on you to see if you can make the late entrance with her! ill keep your breakfast with me im sure mr. everett wouldn’t give a shit if you ate in class. i do it all the time]

          As if on cue, there was a faint, nervous knock on the door. God bless Brody.

“Be right there!” Violet shouted, quickly throwing her work messily into her backpack. She grabbed a couple dollars off the kitchen table for lunch, threw on her boots, and booked it towards the door.

     "Hey,“ Brody grinned at the shaggy-haired, droopy-eyed messy Violet in front of her. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Violet grimaced, mumbling to herself as she ducked into the passenger seat of Brody’s truck. She caught a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror, and pulled up the hoodie of her jacket to cover her shame.

         The drive felt like forever, with Brody’s insufferable choice of music. Who still listens to Coldplay? In 2019? Violet was too grateful to complain, and clenched her jaw to hold her tongue.

Brody tried to hold a conversation, but Violet was too out of it to contribute anything other than nods and the occasional “mhm.”

      “Then Marlon was mad at me! I can’t believe that guy. I swear, if he wasn’t my best friend I’d…” Brody’s voice petered out as she pulled into the school parking lot, backing into her spot next to Louis’ car.

Violet immediately jumped out, gave a quick “thankyousomuchioweyouone,” and booked it towards the front doors of the school. The front desk ladies were distracted, so Violet was able to sneak past them and make her way down to the math wing.

            106… 108… 110!

Relieved, Violet peeked through the window, seeing Marlon’s pathetic excuse for a haircut as confirmation that she was at the right place.

     She tried her best to quietly open the door as to not interrupt the class and draw attention to herself, but wasn’t surprised when the door noisily creaked open, everyone’s heads turning towards her.

Really, Ericson? Ever heard of WD 40?

Violet shyly ducked her head, placing herself between Louis and Aasim. Before she could say anything, Louis placed her coffee and bagel on her desk, a patient smile on his face.

         Violet was able to manage a “thank you” while she was scarfing down the bagel. Cheeks full and a dab of cream cheese hanging on her top lip, it’s safe to say that she did not expect Clem to approach her desk at that moment with the worksheet she’d missed.

“Hey, Vi,” Violet’s head jerked up, meeting eyes with Clementine. Embarrassed, she took a tissue and wiped her face, swallowing before she took the worksheet from Clem’s hands. “Grabbed this for you.”

        “Thanks,” Violet managed to stammer, giving a sheepish smile while pulling her pencil case out of her pocket. Clementine hadn’t moved.

Violet tensed up, waiting for Clem to make a comment on her appearance or tease her. Instead, she placed an envelope on top of the worksheet, uncertainty embedded in her actions.

         "Uh, that’s for you. I’m having a birthday party tomorrow night at my house.“ Clem pushed the envelope towards her with emphasis, and cleared her throat nervously. "You don’t have to come if you don’t want. It’s on a Friday night and I know you probably have pla-”

“No,” Violet interrupted her, her voice louder than she anticipated. She received an exhausted look from Mr. Everett. “I’ll totally be there.”

      Clementine immediately perked up, a dorky smile on her face. “Awesome. Oh, and it’s gonna be a sleepover. You don’t have to stay for that.”

Violet frowned, cocking her head and looking at Clem under a suspicious lens. “You don’t have to invite me, y'know.” She sighed, placing the envelope back into Clementine’s hands. “I get it.”

        Clem froze up, visibly upset. “No, fuck. I really want you to come. I just didn’t know if that was your kind of thing.”

Violet, unconvinced, lowered her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. Cold. The heat of Clem’s hand covering her own was a nice contrast to that.

            Wait.

“I want you there,” Clementine insisted, squeezing her hand between her own. The heat from the touch quickly flushed to Violet’s face, her pale skin unable to mask the blush that covered it. “Please come.”

     Louis and Aasim exchanged an annoyed glance at the useless sapphics. Mr. Everett had stood up and taken an interest to their conversation at this point.

“Clem, go back to your seat please,” Mr. Everett cleared his throat, to which Clem recoiled, dropping Violet’s hand. “Violet is more than capable and doesn’t need hands-on help.”

       Clem, face red and flustered, ducked her head and moved back to her seat in the front of the classroom. “Sorry, da- I mean Mr. Everett.” She squeaked, glancing over her shoulder one more time at Violet, uncertainty and sadness on her face.

Mr. Everett continued the lecture, but Violet was too busy staring out the window. She was completely zoned out. She figured she’d just get the notes from Aasim later. She saw Louis give her the occasional worried glance out of the corner of her eye, and kept her focus on the kids playing in the courtyard.

      The class couldn’t have gone any slower, but eventually the bell rang, and all the tension that had built up in Violet’s muscles was relieved.

She didn’t know why this class stressed her out so much. She was pretty good at math, only the second highest grade in the class behind Aasim. Mr. Everett made her feel uneasy.

     He wasn’t a bad guy. Quite the opposite, really. He was a fun teacher who had gone to great lengths to help Violet out with her work. A little by-the-book, but a big sweetheart.

   Plus, he picked on Louis a lot. So he was pretty likeable in her eyes.

Clementine had gone up to Mr. Everett and they were now talking, Clem dropping the classroom decorum to tug on his arm and take a $5 dollar bill out of his wallet for lunch.

        Violet didn’t realize she was staring until both of their gazes landed on her. Startled, she pulled her hoodie back over her head and started gathering her books as quick as she could. She could hear distant murmuring, but couldn’t make anything out.

Her panic was interrupted by Louis swinging an arm around Violet’s shoulders, holding an almost identical envelope up in front of her face, but it was green.

     "If it’s about transportation, I can pick you up. C'mon, the Vi I know and love would never miss out on a chance to get her ass handed to her in Super Smash Bros.“ Louis teased, earning a playful punch on the shoulder from Violet.

"Yeah, right,” Violet rolled her eyes, looking over at Aasim to see he also had one, but orange. “You going?”

       "Nah, my moms are taking me camping this weekend.“ Aasim chirped, a glint of mischievousness in his voice. Noticing the curious glances from his two friends, he cracked an evil grin and spoke one word. "Campfire.”

“Smokey the Bear, Aasim,” Violet giggled, shaggy hair falling in front of her eyes. “What can you do to prevent forest fires?”

       Louis laughed while Aasim rolled his eyes, picking up his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder. “I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

Aasim was gone for what seemed like half a second when Clementine appeared at her desk again, followed by Mr. Everett. Violet froze, her grip on her books tight.

      “My dad wants to introduce himself. Not as Mr. Everett, but as ‘Cool Dad Lee.’” Clem raised her hands to make air quotes, while Le- Mr. Everett held out his hand to shake Violets’.

        Bewildered, she shook his hand.

“Hello, Violet,” Mr. Everett looked happy, glancing between Clem and she. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

      That line earned an elbow in the stomach from Clementine. Violet, still frozen, gave a robotic laugh.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you to ignore that part of the envelope where it says 'presents mandatory.’ My mom is a bit of a smart-ass.” Clem snorted, before cocking an eyebrow over at Louis. “Not you though, rich boy.”

       Louis gave her some finger guns, a big, goofy smile on his face. “Respect for that.”

The second bell rang, interrupting the conversation. Violet threw her backpack over her shoulder, and shot a glance towards Louis. “Fuck, Ms. Martin is gonna be so pissed.”

       "I’ll write you a pass. Don’t worry about it.“ Mr. Everett pulled a notepad out of his pocket and took the pen that was perched on Clementine’s ear. "Just.. try to make sure he actually gets there.” Mr. Everett gestured to Louis, who gave a mock gasp at the implication.

“Will do,” Violet promised, grabbing Louis by the neck of his coat. “I’ll uh.. see you two tomorrow night.”

      “You’re coming?” Clem squealed, her eyes giving away how happy she was. Violet nodded sheepishly, looking back at Mr. Everett before dragging Louis out of the classroom.

“I like that girl,” Lee stated, capitalizing on the blush that had taken over Clem’s cheeks. “Reminds me of someone.”

     Clementine rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently as he made up a pass for her. “That’s good…”

Lee tore off the front page of the notepad, and held it high before giving it to Clem. “You have my blessing.”

Clementine’s flustered state turned into a fit of anger, as she jumped up to try and grab the pass out of his hand. “Shut. Up.” Clem grabbed onto the slip, wrenching it out of his arm. “I introduce you as my Cool Dad and this is how you repay me?”

      Lee chuckled, putting the pen back behind her ear. “If you think I’m bad, just wait ‘til Carley sees her.. Oh, boy.. Her cheeks are gonna be red from all that pinching.”

Clementine huffed and stomped out of the classroom, putting all of her weight onto her prosthetic foot, so it noisily clattered. She kept up the noise until she knew she was out of ear shot, and smiled to herself, bunching the bottom of her sweatshirt up in her hands.

          Her seventeenth birthday was going to be perfect.

[girlbookwrm]

AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH

it took us two entire days to watch this, back in whenever we were watching this. I’ve got a Bundle of Papers here in front of me, and the CW Bundle is by far the thickest, and that’s with minimal salt content.

Speaking of Salt: The Roommate and I had to approach this as an Avengers movie. Because otherwise the salt levels in this would be toxic, possibly fatal. Even so, ppl with high cholesterol be warned

LET’S DO THIS

1991!

Winter Soldier: 

what is this

what is this please

dat beef tho

what is this op sec

honestly

NO mask

SHINY FUCKOFF ARM just HANGING OUT

CCTV???

~ooooooo he’s a ghooooooooooooost~

he’s got an extremely dedicated and very harried cleanup crew is what he’s got

OH! OLD LOGO ILU!!!

LAGOS!!

The Roommate: That’s a lot of sugar

i ain’t judging

what, you think her powers run on optimism?

is there an accent? is there not? Shroedinger’s accent.

droney the drone

sam’s lil sky roomba

i love him

guhhhh this scene every line shows character and growth and i just *clenches fist*

did

did falcon just throw steve

just yeeted him at the enemy?

god i love that

also: has steve bulked up since TWS?

that’s also on Sam, yeah?

CUT THE CHEEEEECCCCK

is this fucking NEUROTOXIN? STEVE WHERE’S UR MASK?

Steve, throwing himself into a room full of an unknown poison gas without a mask: I bet i can survive this

Bucky, in Bucharest: *breaks whatever he’s holding without knowing why*

god i love sam

“I don’t work like that no more” Means ?????????????

PARKOUR NAT

is also BRUNCH MOM NAT

“both grunting” is always one of my favorite subtitles

2 white boys fighting in the middle of the street like it’s a video game

god someone took the murder strut to heart wow that is some. that is some something that’s for sure.

give me even one (1) heterosexual explanation for "your pal your buddy your bucky"

there’s no way that bucky ever said this, right? this is just Rumlow fucking with steve, and the screenwriters fucking with us

because IN CASE YOU WERE NOT IN THIS FANDOM IN 2016, WE ALL THOUGHT CAP WOULD DIE IN THIS MOVIE

WE WERE SO SURE

wow i wonder if that will be relevant to anyone’s emotions here in the year of our lordt 2019

anyway, what bucky actually said was:

“please tell rogers... that he’s a big dumb dildo and he should wear a gas mask and also a parachute.”

listen i love this opening scene but also wanda is not at all responsible for this explosion and the fact that they act like she is undermines my ability to suspend my disbelief.

DIGITAL ENYOUTHENMENT ALERT

also, tony the fact that you are using your literal dead mom as an actual therapist is

wow

BARF feels right to me

too real, tony

it’s too real

how ARE you getting around the strings and taxes tho

Also can i say that i actually love that Pepper’s absence is this profoundly important to the story. The hole where pepper should be is a huge part of this story and i like that. i like that a lot.

WOW THAT EXTRA IS LIKE A MASHUP OF NAT AND WANDA. SHE IS THE GENERIC MARVEL WHITE LADY

more a+ visual storytelling with the elevator

I’m just so mad that they blame wanda and play that straight?

all they had to do was outright acknowledge one (1) time that the media is picking on her because she’s a woman/a foreigner

imagine that speech coming from nat instead of steve

though i do love Steve’s pep talk

again. give me one (1) heterosexual explanation

though why not have Steve say “they’re just bullies, you did the right thing” and hearken back to smolsteeb

The Roommate: Remember how i was mad at his Oscars Velvet Blazer? I am also mad at this sweater.... it looks... so soft... i don’t know if i want it on him or off him... just wanna tuch....... and wear..........?”

Vision’s Ascot is. Something else man.

The Roommate: Why is ross secretary of state?

Me: Why is Trump President

Me: I bet Ross is vegan

the roommate, who has vegan-related trauma: UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH

Nat's reaction to vigilantes: Bitch please. she is Unbothered.

you don’t have to show us footage we’ve got the ptsd nightmares

400 pages in 3 days

[tired american sighing]

we honestly can’t even criticize this plot point anymore just

[my longest and most american sigh]

CLEVELAND!!!

hail hydra continues to be the Most Terrible last words

but WHY does ross have the congressional medal of honor

do you know how HARD it is to get one of those????

yeesh

sassy black friends sassing at each other

is definitely a

thing that is happening rn

Vision: Well Actually

no one cares, vis

ok like

a kid is dead but

3.6 is an okay GPA

maybe all my friends are overachievers

maybe it’s just because most of them are women but like

it’s an okay GPA

i’d have 8000% more respect for Tony if he was more upfront like “look this is on me” especially here

are we supposed to be picking all this up as subtext, actually?

because i know that this movie ALSO had a Troubled Youth ala ant man

and i really do appreciate the Russos for relying on a smart audience but there’s a lot going on

and it’s very obvious to me that they had to shift gears 18,000 times in the script writing phase

so like, you’ve got old man vet steve

but it’s painfully obvious that he missed vietnam right?

like

it’s painfully obvious

and he’s v egotistical and self righteous too 

it IS a battle of the egos

and no one is right

except natasha

Steve: i have to go

me: mood

LONDON!!!!

oh god

oh god no

steve god no steve oh god

gfhskfdjjjksjdjjhrrrrhrhhrhfhh [wailing and rending of garments]

Re Peggy’s age:

SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE

so the True Hallmark of a Cap Movie is Peggy telling steve what to do.

so weird to have that in an avengers movie

i do love this. GOOD BRO NAT CONTENT

Um. is vision a minor? is wanda?

again, nat is the only Correct one here

stay together guys

it might be

reeeeeeaaaaally important in 

*checks watch*

two years’ time.

~hug~

VIENNA!!!!!

CHAD WICK! CHAD! WICK! CHAD! WICK!

god i love the xhosa in this

There is a level of worldbuilding in this that we p much only get from the russos/markus&mcfeely. i mean -- internal consistency worldbuilding? if that makes sense? we get a lot of visual worldbuilding in black panther, but this is distinctly different and hard to articulate and it has to do with the way they approach things and how they assume audience intelligence

it just works for me

oh no chadwick boseman don’t be cry

Sharon deserves better

than being cockblocked by her own aunt

and also sam wilson (who also deserves better)

cryptid!bucky

Nat did you get that suit from jenny agutter?

LA Brunch Mom Nat

mah girl

she’s just so tired

steve (bless him) is just so exhausting

couples date sam and steve dressed to match

“at the gym”??? really? the arm is... a bit of a giveaway

i do feel bad for zemo in this one specific case

russian IS hard

how. did he get that in there?

Soft Plumboy Bucky

BEEF

Captain’s Log: Buck’s place is a shithole

Sergeant’s Log: Steve’s face is pretty

surprise bitch

“That’s Smart, Good Strategy” is an excellent phrase to use in everyday conversation in order to weed out who Knows and who Doesn’t.

What i have learned from civil war: 

Captain America is a projectile weapon

further query:

did bucky ever hurl small steve at assailants?

Bucky: *punts steve down an alley*

Steve, 90 lbs of rage at 90 mph: GET WRECKED

Bucky’s got big tommy wiseau cryptid energy here

And now there’s a cat

bucky:

I love this vampire running and also bucky’s thighs

Steve Rogers: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YEET.

Bucky Barnes: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YOINK.

Bucky and Steve: Wrecking your morning commute since 2014

WAR MACHINE!!!

god vis has the biggest dorkiest crush

so vis are you a child prodigy? or? what?

The Roommate, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure: vis have you eaten anything between CW and IW?

Me, sinnamon roll, not to be trusted: *dying* *thinking about how Vision’s got schroedinger’s dick. does it exist? does it not exist? who knows.*

Me: Y. Yes. I th. think he has. eaten something. between now and. and IW. something.

The Roommate: *betrayed look*

Me: DEEP FRIED KEBAB MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW.

The Roommate: *is so disappointed*

BERLIN!!!!!!

Bucky is. So tired. Let him rest.

fucking up the morning commute again i see

u like cats??

I love the ratio of overkill:ineffectiveness with this glass box they put him in.

why did tony  bring these fancy pens

the time spent explaining them could’ve been spent doing literally anything else

*i still don’t understand the accords*

GOD STEVE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD

“my fault”

there it is

“truth is i don’t want to stop”

THERE it is

“i thought the accords could split the difference”

THERE IT IS

"no, i don’t.”

THERE IT IS

“IT’S INTERNMENT.”

THERE! IT! IS!

gah.

wanda’s accent et al -- MAKE IT EXPLICIT MARVEL YOU COWARDS

no but really what are the accords

here followed a 20-30 minute convo about the accords

basically the summing up was:

Nat is 100% Right Ross is 100% Wrong Everyone Else is In A Grey Area

look this is actually a really good avengers movie

but

this is a moment when the back catalogue works against them because this conversation is so -- it implies a lot of friendly interactions between these two. they seem to have a relationship

but i keep looking at all the other movies they’ve interacted in like

BITCH WHERE? WHERE IS THE TONYSTEVE FRIENDSHIP? WHERE???

i am anticipating this will cause me A Grief later

The Roommate, looking at Steve in his Grey Shirt and Jacket: Damn, sir. Stop wearing clothes.

“BIRD COSTUME???”

“j a m e s”

big holt talking to rosa vibes there

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

A VAST AND MIGHTY MOOD

Zemo’s plan is so ridiculous i genuinely don’t have time to get into it i still have two pages of notes to get through holy shit.

this fight scene. does things. for me.

hhhHNNNNHGH BEEFSTEAK

(oh tony left with no suit? growth dot gif)

THIGHS

T H I G H S ! ! ! !

CHADWICK!

Sam out here, serving looks, casually modeling

B I C E P S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

TOO SEXY! *crashes helicopter*

I need twelve more scenes of steve and bucky faffing about in the water.

A more effective restraint than the custom made bucky bottle

(BRIEF 1991)

haaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAa biceps u stop that

Is Tony having a heart attack???

he has no concept of how to treat children because he never was one oh no i gave myself a sad feeling

QUEENS!!!!!!!

“I’m having a big fight in a parking lot with my superhero friends better go pick up a child as backup.” - tony stark

tony he doesn’t have a passport and if he understood what was happening he would not be on your side

Now That’s What I Call Vigilantism.

Why are you bringing a CHILD to a gun fight

Tony’s face, to me, suggests that he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing

also? it’s painfully obvious to me that these scenes were copypasted in late stage when they finally found out that yes they would have the rights to spiderman lol

for some reason they don’t feel the need to tell is that this is avengers compound in 400 point font

i’m so lost

where are we?

without the 400 point font i can only assume we are on mars

THAT’s a fine way to greet YOUR FATHER, WANDA

hawkeye is in fact the team lynchpin

is it

ugh

is it because they listen to him but he listens to natasha

ugh

i bet it is

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Vision: I have been FALLING! for THIRTY MINUTES!

“i know someone who does”

i’m confused by the cut here, because it seems to imply that Sharon, deliberately or inadvertently, rats them out to natasha?

Birds and raccoons do not get along

steve

steve no

steve

ur timing is shit steve

Scott Lang might be the best thing in this movie

well except for Dat Bone Structure

CUT THE CHEEEEEECK

*costume change in a parking lot to the yakkety sax soundtrack*

Thinking about the coming battle i am forced to concede that Iron Man Has A Point?

“do you really want to punch your way out of this?”

Steve: I ALWAYS wanna punch my way out

god scott’s such a fukkin nerd

tiny quibble but Scott “got punched by hope van dyne” lang would never say that to the black heckin widow

“gimmick”

um

people in falcon houses shouldn’t throw spider stones, samuel

wanda

those cars belong to people

oh god iron man has a point

LET’S GO LESBIANS! COME ON LESBIANS LET’S GO

*catfight sounds*

“then why did you run?”

dude you attacked me in a catsuit

Tony’s true superpower is that he knows steve, that’s how spiderbabby gets the upper hand

althought god

Tony was pre-gaslighting peter

he was pilotlighting peter

*my longest UGH yet*

“Queens?” “Brooklyn”

MAXIMUM NEW YORK ACHIEVED

ant man is the MVP

hmmmmmm “we don’t trade lives” HMMMMMMMMM

why did that truck explode

also *omg iron man has a point*

tony tedward stark how did you not know how old this child was

also peter stop pretending you don’t know what Empire Strikes Back, AT-ATs and Hoth are.

why doesn’t Vis get more flack for this

hey. hey tony. you know what sam is? A MEDIC. maybe let him LOOK AT YER FRIEND THERE instead of SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.

zemo’s plan is noooooonseeeeennnnnnsssse

guh these two beautiful men emoting in different directions KILL ME

this doctor is just like “yup there’s a giant purple robot here seems legit”

natasha is the only one who’s 100% right

did... did the russos kill themselves in this movie? did they cast themselves as dead extras? was this a statement of some kind?

HOW did ross get the congressional medal of honor. H O W.

“you read it”

NO ONE READ IT, IT’S 400 PAGES

tony this is Some Nonsense

ffflslkds he’s taking one of Nat’s guns KILL ME

one (1) heterosexual explanation.

rode back in a freezer truck

got pneumonia

already had pneumonia

and you blew three whole dollars on some slut

(seriously. gimme one. i’m waiting.)

srsly tho, whether you ship it or not, these two are old marrieds

the red star looks weird on his beefcake arm. did they forget to scale it up?

KITTY

listen zemo is just really turned on by cam and he didn’t mean to say that and that’s the most relateable thing he’s done so far.

It’s not just that bucky killed his mom. it’s that bucky killed his mom AND STEVE KEPT IT FROM HIM.

life alert a senior citizen has fallen

T'Challa, observing this White Nonsense™: I truly should... check myself. Before! I wreck myself.

agism is what it is

god this bit

steve dropping the shield

look at him

he is Stick A Fork In Him D O N E

Rhodey really deserves better than this? He deserves development showing the evolution of his opinion between here and IW

i wish we could get more of him grappling with this

that said

gosh wouldn’t it fucking suck if Cap and Bucky got relegated to End Credit scenes in their own got damn movie to make room for Iron Man to emote at his buddy his pal his rhodey?

*looks directly into the camera like i’m on the office.*

Anyway.

Steve rogers: getting the last word in every argument since 1918.

“from the bottom of my heart: My Bad.”

[dysfunctionalnerd]

prof lay zelda au??

i,,,, dont know how to add a cut so like,, sorry if this gets long I'm making this up as I go

I guess hersh is link cuz hes like courageous? and hes got like main character syndrome

or maybe zelda cuz hes wicked smart

fuck it hersh is zelda

uhhhhhhhh luke is link?? whacking all this moblin bastards cuz some power crazed thot decided to kidnap hersh cuz hes smart and got a yellow triangle

London hyrule I guess (lorule lol)

it's like hyrule except big Ben and bricks but like castles too I guess

hersh is like a prince but like only in title bc he actually gives all his money away and just lives in this little flat I guess and tries to live his best life despite having this lil yellow mark on his hand

and one day he comes across this like kinda roudy luke kid who at first hes like g od this kid is rude but like then luke brings him like a cuccoo egg bc somehow he learned that that's his fav produce ???????? point is he sees this kid has a big heart and grows fond of him and like adopts him I guess

but then Ganondorf!!!

but it's not ganondorf its ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,, don Paulo

except hes like a fake ganon (think zant) but regardless he thinks he can rule everything and he wants that triforce!!

hersh feels the disturbance when don Paulo is like at it and hes like luke I'm gonna go see what's up cuz like technically I'm still a prince

but luke is like i!! wanna go with you!! and BAM yellow light and holy shit hes got a triforce piece too

and hersh is like wHAT

and like idk hersh is like u cant get involved I dont want u hurt so he like,, leaves without telling luke

turns out his fencing skills fall short of don paulos nast magic given to him and he get Kidnapped like a Loser

and the adventures of luke begins I guess

so like luke is out there solving puzzles and fucking up ancient temples n shit I guess and he meets emmy!! who gives him his horse!!

but it's a donkey

anyways they're best friends now

oh along the way he meets some random ass dude called randall?? luke nonchalantly tells him everything bc hes a roudy kid and suddenly this weirdo is super interested and worried?? weird

luke noticed randall is like Not So Suddenly following him but by the 3rd temple he figures this guy isnt actually getting in the way so it's like whatever I guess

but still creepy so he confronts the guy and hes like Hey!!! What the Fuck!!!

and randall confesses that when hersh and he were kids they lived in a big castle together and were best friends!!!

but then hersh hated the bougie 1% castle life and left without telling randall. bummer!

and Randall's been like searching for him since

now we know why hersh always absolutley refused to give his name to the papers!!

also hes a prince that would totally suck if the media knew it was him

anyway so luke and randall team up now and face don paulo

turns out randall ain't shit at fighting but he does know where some cool ass sword is (think of him as like navi or midna. he provides info)

luke has some generic but kinda powerful sword now yay ! time to fuck up some temple bc randall thinks that's smart

in the temple luke gets some kind of magic violin then??? and he can like,,,,,, aquire the power of the animals r some bs like that

time to head to don paulos

theres this big dialogue where luke is like gIVE ME BACK MY BEST FRIEND and don paulo is like Haha u ain't shit kid

turns out he is and don Paulo gets fucking destroyed

but????? no clue to hershs whereabouts when this fool falls???

and suddenly BAM luke gets taken by the hand by this weird but oddly familiar guy in this funky top hat and top hat man just fucking tears luke away from the now crumbling castle room place

luke is like hey What The Fuck

and top hat man is like you have a terrible fate ahead of you but you must save the prince

did I forget to mention luke doesnt know hersh is a prince

so luke is like prince????????

and top hat man is like yea so now u gotta go to this one shithole village nobody knows of and speak to the one the call buffoon

and the top hat man vanishes in a cryptic wave of leaves I guess

randall was there I guess but he only saw top hat man for like 1 second at the end and just fucking sCREAMS

and luke is like what the fUCK is going on

and randall is like do u not know??? r u serious??? but figures it's best he not know yet if this is what top hat man intended

so they go to shithole village and ???? it is not a buffoon, but flora!!

and this time flora is IMPORTANT and VITAL to the plot

flora is like hello they call me buffoon but I'm actually just a lesbian girl everyone here is just home of phobia

and luke is like wow hey cool literally the rest of London hyrule doesnt care pls leave shithole village

and flora is like I cant!! I'm protecting the master sword!

the master sword

floral like dont fcking touch it

luke touches it like an idiot

so luke pulls that shit out and darkness sweeps over the place

and oh dear heres the root of don paulos power!! turns out is Descoganon behind it all

luke tries to fight descole but like too powerful so he gets a Defeat

descoles like buahahahahaha u fool this isnt even my final form and he fuckin dives to finish off luke

but!

top hat man!

he like appears in front of luke and is devoured but descoganons darkness

but before that his top hat falls off and !!!!!!!! wow what a surprise its hersh

luke is like NO I was a FOOL I was too BRASH!! I am not courageous, but dumb!

and Randall's crying I guess but hes like it's not ur fault

and floras like I'm mad at u for pulling out that sword but I mean hes right in order to defeat descole u need to strike him with that sword

so of to descoganons we go!

oh yeah flora joined the team bc turns out shes a fucking BADASS magician

also she constantly gives randall shit for not being able to fight

you thought you heard the last of Emmy but no!! shes back again bc I said so!!!

she wants to join the team too and luke is like cool more horses

everyone's has a cool ass horse except luke who has his dumb lil DONKEY

hes pissed but also grateful he doesnt have to walk by foot but also a fucking donkey???? seriously???

and emmy's like fucking deal with it you whiny ass man

so yeah master sword and magic violin in hand luke calls upon the animals to aid him in battle and it's off to descoles we go!!!

wow this place is DARK

and also the iconic castle that everyone cherishes is now in ruins

and in the most concentrated area of darkness is hersh trapped, glowing just a little bit but fading fast

and luke is like FACE ME DESCOLE U COWARD

and he does

and hes like boutta lose again and flora is like NO! I awaken ur full power!!

and his triforce glows!!!! he is powerful! full of courage!

but descole starts fucking tearing appart in laughter

hes glowing too! he has a triforce too!! he has them all

if you've ever played any zelda game ever this is when descole turns into some pig

but alas by the power of the magic animal violin and the master sword he is defeated

flora dealt the most damage and at the end she was like luke u gotta stab him now and he was like uh ok I guess

voila!! hersh is no longer trapped in darkness!! nor is the rest of London

oh yeah Randall's gay for hersh duh first thing he does is run to him being like remember me???? doesnt matter I'm nursing you to health now

bc I SAID SO

oh but first luke runs to him crying and hugs him and is like pls dont ever leave like that again dad

and hersh is like did.... did u call me dad??? and he cries too and they hug

(except halfway through hersh collapses and luke is struggling to try and keep him from falling. how did this weak boy defeat such an all powerful being?????)

yeah hersh and randall get married flora gets a gf and happily ever after

oh and claire is like the goddess of London who made the damn triforce bc why the fucking hell not

so anyways yeah uhhhhhh someone tell nintendo to fucking hire me